shrimpleastha

[shrimpleastha]

the fact that i'm still deluding myself into thinking i'm still a good student... since starting college, i've gotten lazier and have been taking the easy way out of everything. i think i've ruined my brain.

#complex ptsd #mental health #ptsd #mental illness #actually cptsd #actually ptsd #actually mentally ill #actually ocd #cptsd problems #obsessive daydreaming #dark academia #ocd #gothic academia #chaotic academia #dark academia aesthetic #darkest academia #study motivation #study blog #harsh studyspo #study aesthetic #study inspiration #study tips #studyblr #studyspo #student #studying #student life #green academia #light academia #stem academia

[shrimpleastha]

I don't feel like a real person. I don't have a personality, I don't really have original thoughts. Idk.

#ocd #ptsd #mental health

[shrimpleastha]

sorry i was gone for so long... matlab killed me

#computer science #matlab #engineering #women in stem

[shrimpleastha]

i signed up for this psych study at my college and basically the premise was that a team of computer science students were designing an app and the purpose of the test was to see if using the app was a positive experience for students. the first part had us captioning memes and the second part was showing how other users reacted to the memes....

one of my captions was "i eat soup" and a "user" "applauded my creativity." but i really knew something was up when i made a frat drugging joke and someone *apparently* loved my positive attitude 🙃

[shrimpleastha]

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

[shrimpleastha]

its so unfortunate when different peoples neurodivergent traits clash horribly. like yes i totally understand that the man at the other table cant control his stimming and loud vocal tics and i think he deserves to have a nice day out at a restaraunt without judgement. however if i dont remove myself from the audible vicinity in the next 20 seconds i will explode.

[shrimpleastha]

day 45: 3/2/24

PUT HIM IN THE MICROWAVE

[shrimpleastha]

ever think of a good job application sentence but it’s so fucking gross & hustle-culture that u refuse to be that person

[shrimpleastha]

I can't remember if journaling makes me feel better or if I should just suppress my emotions

#complex ptsd #mental health #ptsd #mental illness #actually cptsd #actually ptsd #actually mentally ill #cptsd problems #actually ocd #ocd #bipolar disorder #bpd vent #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #autism #adhd #chronic lyme #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronically ill #chronic fatigue #childhood abuse #emotional abuse #childhood neglect #childhood trauma

[shrimpleastha]

first rule of gun safety is to put it in my mouth

[shrimpleastha]

I swear the healthcare system hates women

[shrimpleastha]

Born to love cursed to be unlovable

[shrimpleastha]

[shrimpleastha]

I take too many pictures of my desk

But I got some bubble tea (again) :)

Had a rough couple of days and I've been feeling like death, so here's a lil treat to keep me going :3

[shrimpleastha]

I'm so tired and dizzy and confused :(

Here's a picture I took in Italy tho

[shrimpleastha]

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

[shrimpleastha]

Just finished The Bell Jar. Tf am I supposed to do with myself now?

#mental health #ocd #living with ptsd #chronic lyme #chronic illness #booklr #bookblr #coquette #female rage #female hysteria #girlrotting #the bell jar #sylvia plath #studyblr #study aesthetic #books and literature #literature