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amsgrey · 1 year

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Price to Pay

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Part Two to Useful Skills

I have spent forever trying to come up with a title so settle for this very bad one. I also can't tell if I hate this or not but the plot is so fucking bad.

synposis: Kaz learns what you mean when you say your power is your weakness.

warnings: not proofread or edited, mentions of stalking/following someone, Kaz being an asshole to others but not you bc cute, Injury and talk of Pain, reader passes out, kind of generally angsty crap for a minute and then fluff

There were pros and cons to being a crow and one of the big cons was stakeouts in the freezing cold.

Kaz had ordered you and Jesper to stake out one of his chosen targets, a lawyer who had a mistress in the Lid. Mostly it meant that you and Jesper had followed him from his cushy apartment in the financial sector to a gambling den and then to his mistresses. Keeping Jesper out of the gambling den had been the hardest, but now as you trailed behind him in the barrel's bustling streets, you were cursing the cold and damp Ketterdam weather.

You and Jesper were dressed in Komedie Brute costumes, Jesper had on Mister Crimsons' cape and mask, hiding his well-known face from those in the barrel. You were covered in the Scarab Queens dress, the shimmering green catching the lights of the barrel. Although the costume was meant to keep you hidden in the crowd of faces, you couldn't help but curse it for how cold it was. Jesper didn't look to be faring much better, his hands were tucked tightly in his pockets, trying to keep them warm. You had no pockets, having to rub your hands together occasionally.

Your wrist had healed more since the incident at Hellgate, but the cold brought out a phantom pain that you were sure would never quite go away.

"Look," Jesper stopped on the sidewalk, pulling you along with him to look up at a building. Like most of the other buildings in the barrel and the Lid, the house was leaning suspiciously into its neighbour. You could almost imagine how damp it would be on the inside, with wallpaper flaking and steps creaking dangerously.

You couldn't see exactly where Jesper was pointing, "What am I looking for?"

Jesper rolled his eyes, moving your chin to make you look at the window he had in his sight.

"Oh."

Standing in the light was the lawyer you had been tailing, he was without his hat and coat, smothering a woman in robes.

"Kaz was right," Jesper mumbled, leaning back on the wall while you both watched.

"Kaz is always right," You replied, joining him against the wall. You would have to wait for a while before asking questions. It would be too suspicious to walk straight in after him.

Jesper looked you up and down, "Aren't you cold?"

You fixed him with a glare, "What do you think, Fahey?"

The sharpshooter chuckled.

"Why in Saint's name did Kaz have to give me a disguise without a coat," you grumbled, crossing your arms so you could tuck your fingers against your side for more warmth.

Jesper gave you a smirk, you knew what he was going to say before he did, "Because you look gorgeous, love."

You huffed, "I'll look less gorgeous when I'm frozen solid."

You and Jesper stayed until the crowds thinned and the lawyer made his way home for the night. You had snuck into the foyer of the building and learnt the woman's name from the mail, pinching one of the envelopes to give to Kaz. After that, there was nothing more to learn. You and Jesper had made the trek back through the barrel to the Slat. Jesper wrapped his arm around your shoulders as you wandered past the pleasure houses and dens. At this time of the night, men were drunk with pleasure and wine, boldened in their crude behaviour. They would stumble out of brothels with sickly grins and harass any woman who dared to walk alone. You quietly thanked Jesper as he held you close.

Entering the Slat, you made your way through the Dregs to where the crows were sitting. You fell into a chair next to Nina, tossing the mask onto the table and stealing a piece of her food.

Jesper joined Wylan in the booth, secretly leaching his heat off him.

"Well?"

You pulled the envelope you had stolen from your dress, ignoring the surprised looks from the rest of the Crows.

"That's where you hid it?" Jesper said as he watched you hand it over to Kaz.

You shrugged, "I didn't have pockets."

Nina grinned, knowing the struggle herself, "I do it all the time."

Matthias tried to hide how he choked on his drink, coughing dramatically. His face was turning bright red as everyone stared at him.

Kaz ignored the Fjerdan, focusing on the paper in his hand. "Did you have any trouble?"

"No," Jesper answered for you.

"Although next time I would like a disguise with a coat," You added, "My hands have never been so cold."

Kaz glanced from the paper to you for the first time, silently taking in how you were flexing your freezing fingers. He nodded once, then disappeared towards the stairwell.

The next morning you were surprised to find the Bastard of the Barrel at your door. He held a brown paper package in one hand, leaning on his cane with the other.

He handed the package to you, "For the job tonight."

"Thank you," You replied, staring down at the package slightly confused. Kaz let out a quiet hum in acknowledgement, then turned and walked away, his cane clicking as he made his way down the stairs.

Your curiosity got the better of you, and you closed the door and sat on your cot gently opening the paper. Neatly folded in the package was a pair of gloves, completely black like Kaz's. You were shocked, gently unfolding them to reveal the cuff's black embroidery.

Like your shadows.

You couldn't help the grin, slipping your fingers into the gloves and stretching your hands to feel how they reacted. They were almost perfectly fitted, just tight enough where they kept you warm but not so tight that you lost movement. You tried to keep the butterflies in you at bay; he brought me gloves.

Saints, if you couldn't keep your schoolgirl feelings at bay you'd be useless on the job.

When you climbed down the stairs to meet with the other crows, they all noticed your new gloves. It was impossible to hide anything from them.

Wylan grabbed your hand, looking at the small details, "These are new."

You rolled your eyes, pulling your hand back, "Can a girl not get new things?"

Wylan grinned, "Did you get them? Or were they a gift?"

"From a certain Mr Brekker?" Nina pressed, joining in on Wylans teasing.

"I have no idea what you idiots are talking about."

Kaz had decisively paired you with him on the upcoming job. You had frowned and asked if you were better suited to help Matthias and Nina lay the trap, but he had simply ignored the suggestion.

You tried not to be frustrated, Kaz hardly ever explained himself to anyone, why would he do so for you?

So you followed along with him willingly. He was dressed in his usual sharp clothing. The tidy waistcoat and dress pants with his usual black coat. He ordered you to dress similarly, like a wealthy woman. So you put on the nicest skirt you owned, borrowing a white blouse from Nina and pulling your coat over it all. You wore the gloves Kaz had given you, trying not to overthink about what was probably a harmless gesture.

You stood to Kaz's right, watching the shadows around the square as you waited patiently for the lawyer to fall into Kaz's well-laid trap.

Wylan and Jesper would be somewhere beyond the square, watching your back in case anything went wrong.

"Do you like the gloves?" Kaz broke the silence.

It took you off guard, "Oh, uh, yes." You flexed your hands, "Thank you."

Kaz nodded, "I had them made by a fabrikator so they would not hinder your summoning."

So that's where he had slinked off to last night.

You had to compose yourself, biting your tongue to ground yourself. Kaz Brekker was not some crushing boy giving you his favour through a gift, it was no doubt a strategic move as part of his plan. Then why did the butterflies in your stomach refuse to cease?

Get a hold of yourself.

You brushed down your skirt, pretending to be distracted by making yourself look presentable rather than looking at the boy next to you.

Another few minutes passed and the lawyer came stomping around the corner into the square. He was joined by two other men, no doubt enforcers he had paid to protect him.

"Mister Herling."

The lawyer looked torn between being afraid and irritated, "Brekker."

When you first found work in the Barrel, you were surprised that everyone seemed to know who Kaz Brekker was. After a week in the pub, you heard almost every rumour that the barrel had spun about the bastard of the barrel. The whispers that barmaids told, Dirtyhands doesn't need a reason.

Herling looked the two of you up and down, "Your muscle, Dirtyhands?"

You smiled sweetly, "Is that so hard to believe?"

The man on Herlings left chucked, his eyes lingered on your body. You shuffled your feet, trying to hold back your disgust at the man. You spared a glance at Kaz, who had noticed but chosen to ignore the man. Instead, he lifted his cane and flexed his fingers, like a silent challenge.

The lawyer waved his hand, "What business?"

"You work for Geels," Kaz stated, "I need to get a message to him."

Herling's face morphed from passive annoyance to one of outrage, "What makes you think I would do that for a barrel rat like you?"

Kaz lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug, "Everyone has a price."

"You think you can bribe me?" Herling cried, clearly insulted and angered by Kaz's comment. "Respectable men do not take bribes."

"Good thing there are no respectable men here."

You held back a laugh, this was not the time to appreciate Kaz's dry humour.

Herling let out a noise, halfway between a growl and a huff. "You are a special kind of messed up, boy."

Kaz didn't seem at all phased, he calmly explained what he meant by 'price'. The women you and Jesper had learnt about last night, proof that Herling was not a respectable man and had something to offer unless he wanted his wife to know.

"I don't know who that is," Herling hissed, but he couldn't hide his panic.

Kaz stretched his fingers that held his cane, the leather of his gloves flexing with his fingers.

"The thing about the Lid," Kaz spoke, "Is that no one cares if people disappear. This is Ketterdam, after all, space is valuable."

Herling put it together, he stepped forward and raised his fist, "If you lay a hand-"

Kaz smacked his hand away with his cane, Herling recoiled, stepping back and cradling his hand like a child.

"Stop making empty threats, Herling, and start making deals."

Kaz struck a deal with the man and you both waited for him and his men to leave before turning and walking out of the square. As you both exited under the arch, Wylan and Jesper fell into step beside you.

"You think he'll follow through?" Wylan asked, his hands clutching the straps on his satchel.

Kaz didn't have to explain himself, "Yes."

As the four of you picked your way through the streets back towards the slat, you started to become aware of something moving in the shadows. You were so focused on the movements, you didn't even realize Nina and Matthias had joined your group.

Finally, you couldn't stand the feeling of being watched anymore. You stopped, turning around to search the street for the two figures you knew were around.

"Y/N?" Nina asked, standing next to you.

The others stopped a few steps ahead, frowning at you.

"Someone's out there," You said quietly to Nina. The heartrender reached out, searching for heartbeats to verify your feeling.

She frowned, turning back to the others, "Y/N's right."

Kaz joined you both, looking out over the silent streets. Kaz didn't have to say anything, two men came slinking out of the shadows to face him.

They were the same two men the lawyer had at his side, but now their sleeves were rolled up, guns in hand. You realized they weren't just paid goons, they were black tips.

"You don't know when to back off, Brekker," One of them hissed.

Kaz looked indifferent, "I could say the same for your boss."

One of the men cocked his pistol, pointing it at Nina, "Move your hands and you die, witch."

Nina rolled her eyes, holding her hands up dramatically.

Two more men drew out of the shadows to join the other Black Tips. They too held up guns.

One of them held his gun trained on Jesper and for good reason. Jesper would be able to get you all out of this with a spin of his pistols, with a gun trained on him he couldn't help anyone.

"No getting out of this."

You spared a glance at Nina, who stared back at you with a silent response. Don't do it.

You knew you shouldn't, Kaz would be able to get you out of this. He was at your side, so you turned to him. He had his scheming face, trying to put together a plan.

"Stadwatch?" You whispered.

"Probably paid off," Kaz replied.

You looked back to the four men, who were arguing over who would get to drag Kaz to the boss.

"Y/N," Kaz saw straight through you, "Don't."

You didn't have a choice, Kaz knew that.

Without dwelling on it too much, you reached out. You could feel the shadows bending to your will, they pulled towards you, amassing around your feet and climbing towards your hands. You drew your hands up in a loose arc when your hands were almost touching, and the shadows formed a loose line. The four men looked up, shocked silent at the view in front of them.

You raised one of your hands, then threw it down in a fast slash. Your shadows formed into a shape blade, reaching out and cutting all four men down. Although not the first time using the cut, it felt the same. A rush of exhilarating power, like nothing could stand in your way. Then there was the crushing pain like your body was trying to repel your powers. The feeling was always there after summoning, but it was mostly bearable, a sharp pain behind your eyes or a dull ache between your shoulders. The cut always took the most out of you, your mother had called it unnatural, merzost. No Grisha was supposed to have such power.

You watched the men's bodies fall, split cleanly in two. Then the pain was too much, you fell to your knees, gasping for breath.

Nina and Wylan were at your side instantly, Nina quietly reminding you to breathe as she held your hand tightly. She was paying close attention to your heart rate, it was beating so fast she could only wait for you to pass out. She pulled you close when you lost consciousness, your body going limp on the damp cobblestones.

You were in and out of consciousness the whole walk back to the slat. Jesper and Matthias were holding you up, trying to make it look less suspicious than it would if they had you strawn over their shoulder. You could hardly keep your feet moving, Jesper and Matthias were mostly holding you up.

When you finally got back to the slat, Jesper dragged you to your room, a tiny sliver of space on the third floor. He lowered you to the bed, dropping you less than gently.

You were still consumed with pain, not sure of what was going on, "Thanks, babe." You muttered.

Jesper laughed, "You are very welcome, love."

Jesper left the room, letting Nina take his place at your side.

"Tell me what I can do to help," She pleaded, pained by seeing you in such a state.

"Nothing, Nina," You replied, letting out a sigh.

"Are you sure?" She tried again, gently brushing the hair off your feverish forehead.

"I'll be fine, Nina," You replied, "I just need to sleep it off."

Nina nodded, knowing she wouldn't be able to get much more from you. She stood and quietly left the room, passing Kaz in the hall.

Kaz lingered for a moment before stepping into the room. You could feel his presence, not bothering to open your eyes to see him.

"Boss."

When Kaz didn't reply you opened your eyes, looking at his face. He looked almost concerned, you wondered if you had imagined it in your state because as soon as you made eye contact the look was gone.

"You said that your abilities were your weakness," Kaz said after a long pause.

"And now you see why."

Another long pause.

Kaz nodded once, "Thank you."

You might have appreciated those words more if you hadn't been half asleep. Kaz never said thank you.

"Don't thank me," You said, "I need to be gone by this time tomorrow."

It didn't take a genius to see four bodies cut in half and know what it meant. Only one summoner could use the cut and by exposing yourself tonight you had no chance but to run.

"You don't have to," Kaz spoke so quietly you almost didn't hear him, "You could stay."

"If I stay," You replied, closing your eyes and covering your face with your arm, "I will be hunted, killed."

You could hear Kaz move, the click on his cane. He had stepped closer. "I won't let that happen."

The rational part of you knew that Kaz would be powerless to stop however came after you. But you were exhausted and slightly delirious, so the only thought that passed through your mind was, he wants to protect me.

"I guess I can stay," You drawled, finally losing the fight to unconsciousness.

The next morning when you woke up you were tucked under a blanket, your boots by the end of your bed and the gloves Kaz had given you folded neatly on the bedside table. You had the same butterflies, but this time it felt more real. You weren't imagining things, at least you had hoped you weren't. Surely that hadn't been some kind of terrible dream.

You needed to be sure, forcing your tired body to rise from the bed and slip on your shoes. You hesitated at the door, knowing climbing upstairs to Kaz's room in the attic would be gruelling. You forced yourself to do so anyway, taking the stairs slowly. When you reached the top, you felt lightheaded, your body betraying you after last night's show of power.

You knocked once on Kaz's door, entering after he allowed it. When you stepped in you had to reach for something to hold on to, your head swimming.

"You should be resting," Kaz spoke, watching you hold yourself up on the metal bedframe. He could see how pale you looked, your face was full of colour not long ago. He thought briefly about how he wished to see you back to yourself again. Then he was shutting that thought out of his mind.

"What you said last night-" You ignored Kaz's order, trying to stand a little taller and feign strength. Kaz could see through the cracks easily.

"Was the truth." Kaz stood, leaning on his cane as he got a little closer to you, worried that you might just keel over, "I won't let anyone hurt you."

Relief crashed over you, washing away some of the panic that had clouded your mind.

You and Kaz held each other's gaze for a while longer, content in the silent company of one another.

You knew you should rest, your body was screaming to sit or lie down. It would only follow your orders for so long. But you weren't sure you would make it down the stairs without falling, which would definitely make the pain in your head worse.

Kaz seemed to come to the same realization. He gently grabbed your arm, holding tight to your bicep to lead you to the side of his bed. He helped you sit, then returned to his spot at his desk. There was something unspoken, Kaz didn't have to tell you to stay because you could see the question in his eyes. You let out a small sigh, nodding and deciding to lie on Kaz's bed.

Kaz clearly didn't mind, his attention returning to his papers. You watched him work, taking in how his eyebrows furrowed as he read over reports and expenses. You hadn't realized until now that he wasn't wearing his gloves. His slender fingers flipped through the paper like a dealer would cards.

His hands are stained with blood.

What a ridiculous rumour to believe, you thought. Sitting at his desk before the morning light, he looked like any other businessman. An honest man with no worries about the harshness of this world. You didn't much care for honest men, because there were hardly any. You had done terrible things in your lifetime, last night had not been the first time you had killed and without a doubt, it would not be your last. You did not deserve an honest man. With the powers you held, no one could be fully trusted. You had known that your whole life.

But lying on Kaz's bed, watching him work, you were struck by something much scarier than starting to trust him. You were starting to feel safe.

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@unicornfairytail @winstonthecow22 @mxtokko @lonelywitchv2 @kazbrekkers-gloves @intoanothermind @dontstopxx @beautifulbows924 @lu123sworld @slutforcoffein @u-wakatoshii @yujyujj @swhispererr @khaleesihavilliard @nyctophiliiiiaaa @thedelusionreaderbitch @adorawritesalot

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targaryenluvs · 1 year

Note

The crows are highly overprotective of child reader?

Little Crow

platonic crows x child!reader, kaz brekker x child!reader

mentions of y/n, seen as a girl - i made this in the middle of the night man it might not make sense at times - zemeni reader so dark skin, brown eyes and hair etc

It was hard living on the streets of Ketterdam.

No one bothered to look twice at you. Those who did would toss a coin your way and continue on, proud of themselves for helping a child.

Your parents were long gone, having dumped you on the step of an orphanage, two months shy of your first birthday. You were ten now, kicked out of your orphanage for starting fights which usually were just self defence.

There was an underground fighting ring that Ms Andero, the mistress of the Orphanage was more than willing to put you in, for a good price as well as punishment for the ‘trouble’ you caused. You ran away before she had the chance.

Two years on the streets had toughened you up for sure but you would do anything for a hot meal.

That’s why when the Crow Club opened up for a job specialising in information you did everything you could to get it. They were looking for someone female preferably, small and under thirty.

A very odd set of requirements but then again you wouldn’t want someone blowing their hip out after getting caught eavesdropping.

So you did your best to clean up, and you were on your way.

A sweet guy was waiting at the club, with a Zemeni man that looked bored beyond doubt. “Why are we stuck with hiring new recruits? Any of the dregs could’ve done it.”

The smaller boy looked up and smiled, “Because you kept hassling Kaz about getting a cat Jes.” The darker skinned man chuckled, “It was a cute cat, it looked exactly like Kaz. Just more smiley.” The two laughed as you slowly approached, “Who are you?” ‘Jes’ asked. “Uh I heard that there was a job open here?”

“Aren’t you a bit young?” You frowned, feeling rejection coming your way. “I uhm, I just really want a job. I’m fast! I’m super smart, I can jump roofs like realllly far. I can do anything and I’m so small people forget I’m around.”

“What do you think Wylan?”

“I think she’s pretty good for the job, no one would suspect someone so cute and innocent. Men are stupid and never suspect anything besides other men.” A woman spoke up from behind you.

You quickly stepped back, a bit frightened.

“Oh no, I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Nina. What’s your name?” You meekly smiled, “Uhm Y/n.” “Well Y/n, you are hired.”

The first few days were daunting. You’d never imagined yourself stable nor with your own room. It was small, but you were grateful for anything. What you were yet to do was meet “The Boss” as Jesper liked to say.

But when you did you were met with a harsh, scary contorted version of a smile which made you want to run all the way back up to your room.

“I told you he’d scare her.” Inej whispered to no one in particular. You looked back at Nina but she only egged you on.

You slid into the booth and smiled, placing the parchment in your hands on the table.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Brekker.”

“You have good information, you never get caught. You’re small and easy to conceal. As long as you don’t cause me or any one else trouble you can stay. Continue to clean up after yourself you are not my responsibility.” He spoke quickly whilst receiving a harsh glare from Inej, Jes and Nina.

“I always clean up after myself, I cook for myself and dress myself I’m completely independent you’ll have no problems from me Mr-”

“Kaz.”

“What?” He looked up from the floor, “You can call me Kaz. Not Mr Brekker, you make me feel twenty years older.”

“Okay. I uhm I found out about a heist and it’s fully planned out. I also may or may not have broken into someone’s office and stolen all of the plans for the heist and its right there.” You said sliding it over to Kaz, “They said it was for someone called Pekky? Pekka?”

Kaz looked at you straight away, “Are you sure? Where was the office?”

“Uhm across the street from that place everyone here hates. Golden Lions.”

Nina leaned in and whispered, “Dime Lions.”

“Dime Lions!”

For a second you swore you saw a smile or a smirk which was more fitting to the ‘Bastard of the Barrel’.

“You might just be a good addition to us, Inej can teach you more. Everyone be here by night, we’ll go over the plan. Be ready. Always be ready.”

Over the next few months you felt content. You were forever grateful you had the bravery (or so you called it) to take the initiative to go for the job in the first place and you ended up with an amazing family. You even managed to break ice with Kaz and he no longer labeled you “child.”

You’d become as great with your skills as Inej from constant training. You’d learnt to pick locks from Kaz, you loved sitting in on Wylan’s terrorism lessons, Jes even let you touch his revolvers after weeks of bugging, Nina taught you about her Grisha powers and different languages and Matthias taught you about Fjerda.

You finally felt confident enough with yourself to go out on a heist with everyone after begging Kaz to let you come. You’d originally wanted to break in and scout the place with Inej but Kaz shot the idea down quickly. It irked you. Did he think you were a liability? Not good enough?

Soon you’d learn it was the opposite.

You had been appointed to the role of lookout. Perched upon a nearby roof with Wylan, Jes would prove as a distraction, Inej would break in at the time and Kaz was inside, scouring the ballroom for a certain George Pell. The second his men approach with the problem of the breach he was to alert Jes, Jes would protect Inej, the two of them would make their escape as Wylan and you would let the bombs go off, giving Kaz his escape with all the other Lords and Ladies.

It was perfect, until it wasn’t.

For starters the security was 3x what had first been reported. Second of all a certain Pekka Rollins was in attendance. Kaz had made the mistake of not looking over the attendance list, mostly because it was an open invitation to the wealthy and no black list was in existence. Third of all, Inej had fallen sick, an infection of a wound.

Which meant you would be taking her place. Kaz had scoured the Dregs for anyone who could take her place but no one could compare to your skills as well as Inej’s.

“When you hear the bombs go off I’ll be at the door, you’ll know who I am because?”

“Secret code.”

“Good. Once you hear it, let me in, and we’ll go out the way we came in. We run back to the rendezvous spot and wait for the place to die down before making our way back. It’s important no one sees your face, this plan relies on anonymity. Pekkas men see us? We’re done for. Understand?”

“Got it Jes.”

“Atta girl.” He laughed as he ruffled your hair.

The two of you were perched on the roof, waiting for Wylans signal that Kaz had made it in. The flashing light had the two of you moving in.

As you lowered yourselves in you heard an explosion which had the two of you drop to the floor. Jes had knocked over a display. Which caused a guard to bang on the door, “Who’s in there?” She asked.

Jesper grabbed your arm as the two of you hid behind the door, as she entered Jesper shot her point blank. As you looked towards the necklace you were meant to grab.

Jesper dragged her body to the side and looked out the door before closing it. “We need to hurry this up, I don’t like this night. This mission seems off.” You nodded as you picked the lock to the cabinet. The glass seemed to be Durast made, trying to shatter the glass and attract more attention seemed stupid and you were sure the glass would be hard to break.

You heard a pop and you carefully opened the cabinet to extract the necklace. The best way to steal something in your mind was to act as if you already owned it. Before putting it on you hastily grabbed a nearby gown and put it on, to play the part of course. Not because it was absolutely breathtaking. You quickly clipped the necklace on and asked Jesper if he could change it somehow in size or colour.

“I- what? I can’t I’m not-”

“Jesper don’t act dumb. I’m ten not stupid.”

He laughed, not as big and sweet as usual but still. “Why do you hide it?” “I, I don’t know. I just feel people would treat me differently.” You hugged him as he stumbled back. “I love you no matter what Jes. If anyone says anything I’ll stab them.”

He smiled as he wrapped his arms around you, “That’s good to know, no one will come after me if I have a big scary protector.” You withdrew, with a faked look of shock, “I’m not scary!”

“I detest. You scare me every day. With your little knives and intelligent self you put us all to shame.” As you were about to respond you heard shouts and screams, indicating it was your time to go. As the two of you returned to the skylight you came down from you saw three men inspecting the rope you used to repel downwards. “There! Bloody criminals!”

The two of you ran towards the open doors, to be met with guards rushing at you from both ways. “Shit, what now?” You spied a door in-front and grabbed his hand as you rushed towards it.

You were met with a stampede of people trying to exit the buildings. You both ran into the crowds, hoping to blend in, which you did successfully. As you rushed out your dress got caught on something. By the time you freed yourself the ballroom was empty and Jesper was nowhere in sight.

You were captured within seconds, and you decided to not fight until you were locked up or alone. It would give you time to put your thoughts together, but you didn’t get the chance since you were promptly knocked out with a punch to the face.

You woke up in a bedroom, shackled to the bed. Your dress and hair was the same and thankfully the necklace was still on. The distorted shape hid its real size and original self. You looked around and realised it was still nighttime. But you couldn’t tell if it was the same day or not. As you inspected the shackle you realised the lock was simple. One of the many locks Kaz had you practice with.

You took the lock pick you kept in your boot out and began. Under a minute the lock was off, Kaz would be proud, or happy or whatever emotions he can feel. You thought.

You looked around the room and notice a small window, higher up, letting the moonlight bleed into the room. There was a bucket on the side, next to the door and you shuddered to think of what it was used or intended for. You were hot, the room was small and cramped, much more so than your room at the Slat. You quickly undressed, much more comfortable in your normal shirt, vest and pants. You tied your hair up and slipped the necklace into a hidden pocket. Before making your way to the bucket, placing it on the bed and hoisting your self up to the window.

You weren’t high up, one storey it seemed and you could make the jump most likely but you didn’t want to leave anything up to chance. You used the sewer pipe and uneven bricks to climb down into the alley. You ducked behind a bunch of crates as you noticed a guard walking past. Once he was gone you ran.

As fast as possible, you made your way down the surprisingly empty streets. Richer homes, light lamps still on, cafés with an abundance of flowers out front.

You were in a nicer area obviously.

After running for what felt like forever before you entered familiar waters. As the Crow Club came into view you ran faster than before, your legs ached but you were so close. You weren’t going to stop until you knew you were safe.

You barrelled through the doors and ended up on the floor as you heard people make their way over to you.

“Saints Y/n you scared us to death. We thought they got you.” Inej said as she hugged you tightly. You scoffed, “Please I’m the fastest person in the Barrel, you honestly thought their fat asses would get me?” She smiled as someone spoke up.

“Well they obviously did. Look at you.”

Kaz spoke as he rose from the booth, leaning heavily on his cane. “All the Dregs are looking for you. I’m so sorry Y/n/n I should’ve kept you in front of me. Look what they did to you.” Jesper frowned as he took your hands, getting you up from the floor.

“It’s okay I’m okay.”

“Both of you, go grab Nina from the Slat.”

“But-”

“Now.” The two looked at each other, Jesper shrugged as Inej sighed, she knew better than to press Kaz, especially when he was in a bad mood.

“I knew you weren’t ready.” He said as he approached you. “Hey, I am ready. Everyone makes mistakes Kaz. Nothing goes exactly to plan, otherwise there wouldn’t have been a plan B, or C or-”

“You could’ve been seriously hurt, or injured. I don’t need a liability on the team, someone I have to constantly worry about.”

“Aw, you worry about me?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Sure sure Kazzle. As much as you hate to admit you have a soft spot for me. I’m not a liability and you know it. I can handle my own, I just need more training. Plus the plan was already awry before I got nabbed. Wylan already had bombs going off the second Jes and I were inside.”

“He was ambushed. The light wasn’t mean to go off, you were meant to wait until all the guards were drawn away, busy directing the guests inside. Then you were supposed to go in, come out the same way. If George was alerted I’d let Wylan know and Wylan would draw their attention with the bombs. He was fighting someone off and turned the lantern on accidentally. The bomb as well.”

“See? We’re only human.”

“It was a stupid plan, not only did we all blow our covers but Pekka saw me. Now the Stadwatch will come around with accusations but nothing solid. You were taken for hours, beaten and on top of it all we didn’t get what we wanted.” Kaz spoke as he turned and made his way up the stairs as you followed.

“Oh didn’t we?” He was about to open his room when he turned sharply. “Y/n.” You giggled before taking the necklace out, “I know it looks a little funny but it’ll be back to normal once Jes gets his hands on it.” A slight smile tugged at his lips, “Impressive.”

“Ah! That was a compliment. I think I may die of shock Kazzle.”

He shook his head and you knew he was smiling. You sat on his bed as you admired the room, you’d never been in here before and it was pretty standard but what shocked you was his taste in books, poetry?

Kaz Brekker reciting poetry seemed like a funny dream.

He slowly made his way back to you, with a damp cloth and bowl of water. His breath wavered, “Sit on the chair, stay still.” You complied and sat idly, a book in your lap. He slowly brang the cloth to your lip, wiping the blood away.

After a few minutes he withdrew quickly. You looked in the mirror and smiled again, Kaz Brekker had a soft spot for a street kid, who would’ve thought?

Whilst he sat going through his own work you sat going through his books. By the time you finished your books the day had seeped through the window as you felt your eyes grow tired and before you knew it you were asleep.

You woke up to the nice smell of waffles and syrup. As you got up you realised you weren’t in your own bed, no you were still in Kaz’s room. To your right on the table was a tray of food.

“Eat.” And you didn’t need to be told twice, after eating your own food and returning it to the kitchen you sat at one of the chairs in front of him. “Have you eaten?” Kaz didn’t respond, “Did you sleep?”

“You were in my bed how could I have slept?” You tilted your head, “I was on a very comfortable chair. Not the bed.” He looked up slightly, “Your neck was in an odd position so I moved you.” You smiled, “Thank you.” His eyebrows contorted, “For?”

“Everything. You could’ve kicked me out on the street when I showed for the job. When I messed up in cooking you didn’t shout, when I was training you didn’t get fed up when I failed. You had patience when it came to me. Most people would’ve thrown me out by then. You took a chance on me. On my first job I messed up and you still kept me. Thank you Kaz.” Kaz stood from his chair and so did you.

He looked down at you, “I was a child, on the streets like you. I did not meet the right people. No one took me in. I was alone. You showed potential the moment I talked to you first, I wasn’t going to let the same thing happen to someone I’ve come to, value.”

“I’m assuming that’s your way of saying I love you and I love you too Kazzle.” Before you knew it you hugged him. You immediately tried to pull back but an uncertain gloved hair rested on your head, shaky and ghosting but there.

“I love you too.” He wanted to say, but he couldn’t.

And if he couldn’t say it? He’d show it. He protect you from the horrors the barrel had to offer. The crooked people and places.

He’d keep you safe.

Because of Jordie.

No, because he loved you.

#six of crows x reader #kaz brekker x reader #nina zenik x reader #jesper fahey x reader #wylan van eck x reader #inej ghafa x reader

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iamthemain-character · 1 year

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Sankt Milo

platonic! The Crows x reader

gender neutral pronouns (reader is referred to as “you” and the occasional “Y/n”)

TW: show-based, non-canon compliant, 2014-Avengers-Tower-fic-type of writing

a/n: milo is my favorite character. that’s all.

Shadow and Bone Masterlist

You had been absent for almost a week.

Sunday afternoon, you simply disappeared from the club and hadn’t returned since. The only reason the Crows hadn’t completely panicked yet was because you had left notes for all of them saying you had to leave but you would return (each with a special indication that you did not write this as you were being kidnapped). Nonetheless, The Crow Club felt emptier without you, and each member missed you terribly.

It was storming late that Friday, and after closing the club post-another successful night, all 6 crows were gathered around a table, enjoying a drink together. With a clap of thunder the group heard the back door slam open, then shut again. Everyone drew their weapons, hearing heavy footsteps slosh their way across the wooden floors. A figure, cloaked in shadow, stopped in the entryway from the storage rooms, and everyone waited with baited breath to strike.

With a flash of lightning, the figure’s shadows were cast aside, revealing you. A very drenched and bedraggled you, but you nonetheless.

“Y/n!” 5 voices cried out.

“Milo!” Jesper’s voice carried over the others, for even more astonishing than your return was the furry, black and white animal you carried in your arms.

The Zemeni man quickly crossed the room, but not without Nina, Inej, and Wylan on his heels. The latter three took your hands, throwing a dry blanket over your shoulders and Jesper carefully took the goat from your arms, pressing kisses to it’s head over and over.

“Oh Milo, I have thought of you every day.”

The group helped you sit down at the table, bringing more towels and blankets, and Kaz pouring you a strong drink. But despite your shivering, you couldn’t help the smile that cracked across your face as you watched your friend reunited with his emotional support goat old friend.

Wylan turned to you, an incredulous look on his face. “That’s Milo?”

Nina and Matthias had matching confused expressions on their faces, but it was Nina who spoke up. “So did you disappear without a trace for the goat or was that just a happy accident? Also why is Jesper in love with a goat?”

With a laugh, some help from Inej, and some quips from Kaz, you told the newer Crows of the treacherous and disastrous journey the group had taken through The Fold and how Jesper had formed a trauma-bond with this particular goat.

Jesper came back to your table, Milo still clutched in his arms, just as you were explaining yourself.

“Jesper was so sad to say goodbye to Milo, and I just wanted to get him back. But I didn’t want to tell you guys that’s what I was doing in case I wasn’t successful. But thankfully that sweet barmaid had sent him to her father’s farm, and I was able to buy him back.”

“Please tell me you didn’t spend too much for that goat.” Kaz’s voice cut, head turned with his classic look of disapproval.

No longer able to be scared by Dirtyhands, you waved him off. “No price is too much for our little Milo.” With a smirk you turned back to the club owner, “Perhaps we should rename this place The Goat Club?”

The table roared with laughter at the pure look of disgust upon Kaz’s face at your simple suggestion. Inej reached across and scratched Milo’s chin, a smile upon her face. “That’s not so bad, after all, Milo is like our own little Saint.”

Nina clasped her hands together, delighted at the Suli girl’s suggestion. “Sankt Milo! Oh how perfect. I am all for the changing of the name.”

Kaz’s voice broke through the laughter. “We are not changing the name, and we are not keeping it.”

Despite what he said, Wylan found himself grateful for Jesper’s arms around him as they fell asleep, because otherwise the former feared he would have fallen of the edge of the bed. Somehow, one small goat seemed to take up half the bed.

And even though Kaz swore that the goat would be sold in the morning, everyone turned a blind eye when he placed a plate of waffles down for Milo in the morning.

That was, everyone turned a blind eye until Nina realized they were her waffles.

#shadow and bone #season 2 shadow and bone #netflix shadow and bone #the crows #six of crows #the crow club #sankt milo #milo the goat #jesper fahey x reader #kaz brekker x reader #inej ghafa x reader #wylan van eck x reader #nina zenik x reader #matthias helvar x reader #the crows x reader

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hwaightme · 1 year

Text

Avaritia

THIS IS 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI FOR CAPTAIN'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist)

⚫ pairing: ceo/sugar daddy!hongjoong x assistant/afab!reader ⚫ genre: smut... just smut really ⚫ summary: everything has a price, but sugar makes this truth so much sweeter. no matter what he says, hongjoong will buy that new purse for you, will flaunt you in front of his business partners, and will make sure you know you are his. ⚫ wordcount: 8.3k ⚫ warnings/tags: MINORS DNI, tried to edit - lost it - bon appetit, language, teasing, on a flight, a lot of money, wealth, first world, brand name dropping harder than San in the logs, hj is a sweetheart, mc is needy but in denial, full avarice mode lmk if anything else, nsfw tags and playlist rec under the cut ⚫ taglist: @doom-fics @layzfeelit @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo ⚫ network tags: @k-labels @ateezlovenet @kflixnet ⚫ a/n: Sometimes, I am calm. Other times (read 'all the time) I am getting wrecked by everyone in ATEEZ. Here is what Balmain Joong did to me. Any comments, reblogs much loved; we spiraled into madness (hail sucrose pop, glucose father joong lol)

⚫ nsfw tags: daddy/baby girl dynamic, sugar daddy, reader is a 'doll', soft dom!hj (literally cannot stay mad at mc), overstimulation (seriously what is hj doing to mc...), fingering, mile high club, blowjob, deepthroating, dacryphilia, possessiveness, dirty talk, sex on a desk, unprotected sex (wrap that before you tap that) ⚫ playlist recs: Five Star Hotels by RAYE | Sugar Daddy by Qveen Herby | SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY Remix by Amaarae | Greed by Shreea Kaul | Mile High by Salina Killa | Do I Move You? by Nina Simone | Money Power Glory by Lana Del Rey

Why was it that when real business was being discussed, the location of choice was always the most extravagant, exotic, luxurious oasis? Everything about the resort screamed unaffordable. 'Exclusive' written in blood on the pristine white sands, only to be washed away by azure blue waves to colour sea foam you could swear was whipped up in a divine patisserie. A perverse flavour inaccessible to the majority but driving the decisions that ruled the world. It was challenging to not become partial to the taboo indulgence when it was handed to you on a silver platter together with a tailor-made career. Anyone would need to acclimatise to what most considered a distant fantasy, but a few flights on a private jet later did wonders in curing the delirium of the average and introducing an insatiable materialism.

Thus, you were not particularly bothered when your boss requested you book another retreat to a private resort in the middle of the ocean - considering the business's cash flow and offshore 'pocket money', this was not too different from your routine trip to the cafe down the street to get his 'coffee' - more sugar than caffeine but this was a secret that you were to keep to the grave; it was written in small print on your contract. It was easy to book when you just needed to send out a few messages to staff and drop a name to any external service people at the right time. Their reaction, stuttering and need for clarification never failed to be amusing; even the most outrageous demands gained appeal once the won, euro, dollars, whatever they wanted from the global wallet, began to stack up. Green bills, green trees - in a twisted way, these boys who liked to play the role of the all-seeing and all mighty were farmers too. And fruits of their labour were always the sweetest.

Sure, you worked hard and had your own path that you could have followed. Even had a degree to prove that you had at least an ounce of dedication. But what would it give you, in fact, what did it give you before your renaissance? Crumbs. Sheer crumbs, student debt and a chronic migraine. But as it turned out, a couple hundred k did wonders when it came to personal health and wellbeing. And on top of that, the myriad of other benefits that your current lifestyle had, had the ability to crush any argument and accusation hurled in your direction, of which you had many. You had figured out soon enough that diamonds were your real best friend, while those who you had considered your ride or die evaporated as soon as they saw you wearing designer. And that had been when the best you could ask for was old collections, and widely available products. You were not lonely. You had too many hats to wear, and a very demanding man, by the name of Kim Hongjoong, to entertain. And one who currently had his eyebrows furrowed, a couple of unruly strands of hair perking up out of his otherwise slick business ‘do, glasses barely holding onto the tip of his beautifully sculpted nose, and was leafing through the papers he had asked you to prepare for the duration of the flight.

For the CEO of a global company, and the heir to an even larger network, he sure as hell was incredibly young. You did not envy his turmoil and exposure to stress one bit, almost feeling sorry and in part guilty, since percentages of his spendings were technically lost on you. There had even been instances when you found yourself sat in a dark room, laptop screen aglow and on a blank page, with you wondering how one crafted a resignation paper. But once you and Hongjoong could have even a couple of moments alone, when he would ravish you, make and call you his and reveal to you all the things he had planned that could not be reflected on his calendar, that document would be promptly deleted and recycle bin emptied. Your ‘relationship’ had been this way since the one meeting, in his main office, on a bright and early morning.

He had called you up into his office and simply told you that he had another ‘job opportunity’ for you. At that point you had been desperate, with financial problems endlessly piling up, from debt to your family’s hospital fees to bailing your estranged brother out of prison. And to make things unethical – Hongjoong had known this. He had done his research – more specifically, he had asked some colleagues in his company, ones who you would never suspect, to snoop around and find out more about you. And as it turned out, you were the perfect candidate for ‘being treated right’ by him, while bearing the title and carrying out the formal façade of secretary and personal assistant duties. In his practice, as well as his father’s and partners’, this was probably the most stable relationship they would ever get in life, so might as well be picky.

Initially, you had simply become a receiver of gifts. Pretending like this was Hongjoong’s love language, you were touched and did not think much of it. Maybe through these purchases he was moving money in ways it should not be moved, but you could not care less – not your problem, not your area of expertise, you had the outcome, and the outcome was something like a crocodile leather bag or a dress fresh off the runway. Hongjoong had insisted on picking every single item out for you, letting his controlling executive side win over. He had explained that you had to look like ‘the prettiest doll in the world’ for him, and for that he needed to check for quality. After a couple of months, however, such sugary sweet presents had been reserved for special occasions, and for the rest, money was wired directly to a new, account, a platinum card he had opened for you and given you. To just step into the consultation room with his portfolio manager and private banking consultant had felt like you were cheating existence. You had been a lowly assistant to an assistant before. And now, decked out in Dior, were sat beside one of the most influential men in the modern era of this industry, letting him hand you eye-watering sums as if it was a couple of coins for a pack of gum.

Now, well, now you were conflicted. As months had turned into a year and were now approaching the two-year mark if you could remember correctly, your ‘relationship’ had started to feel more and more like a real one. Hongjoong had caught himself divulging details of experiences that he had never spoken about with anyone before. And nowadays, when you had sex, it felt less like a mindless fuck and more like making love, with the man expressing more than he ever could with every hot touch, press of his lips to yours, even his lustful intensity had gained a new colour. You could feel that he was confused, but would not dare let go of you – you knew that he put your name down on some very important documents, after all. As such, it was a rare but unbelievable pleasure to push Hongjoong’s buttons and get him all riled up for you, just so he could expel that pressure and that tension from a busy work day out on you. You were that caring of a personal assistant. And wanted him to keep on talking. Keep on telling you his deepest darkest secrets. You wanted to be a part of him, the hedonistic side, the one that seized the day and knew how to enjoy the earthly realm without counting and fighting.

For the flight to the resort and extended series of meetings with key business partners, you had chosen to wear an outfit that you knew Hongjoong was unravelled by. It was a black and white Prada poplin mini dress that did wonders to accentuate your curves and edges, and was paired with some classic, black leather, So Kate Louboutin heels and gold accessories to match the dainty little buttons on the dress. Really, this was dress number two since the last one had been quite literally torn off you by none other than your boss, but he did not want to ruin the night and as such, had promised to contact the house of fashion itself to get an exact replica of the limited edition garment. And this man kept his promises. But right now, even though you were sat in the private office in his jet, with the bodyguards safely outside, lounging and doing whatever bodyguards did to occupy themselves, he was not paying attention to you at all. Only winding himself up more with those compiled quarterly reports that you were now regretting having finalised them and bringing them at all. What was the worst that you would have gotten had you not done the task? A spanking? Oh, how scary… you have had it rougher on a casual and uneventful day. Now you needed to get creative to get his attention, and being needy would not do. So very slowly, gazing out of the window at the clouds your were drifting past, you crossed your legs, revealing the legendary red bottoms of the heels you were wearing, and reached for the notebook and pen that were just peeking out of your handbag. Unbeknownst to you, you already had his attention with your abrupt change of pattern. Normally you would be on your phone, or typing away on your laptop, even remaining idle would be more characteristic, so Hongjoong’s interest was piqued by the little planner that contained all your thoughts and actions. He slouched back in his seat, and raised he papers a little higher, so that he could steal glances at you more discreetly.

You were paying no mind to what your boss was up to, preoccupied by the cream pages and the visualisation of the figure in front of you, but in your mind. Sometimes, when work was slow, you had taken to doodling random people around the office, as well as sketching out a variety of landscapes that took your fancy. Though the main subject was always Hongjoong. You had gotten quite good at picturing his facial features and depicting them even in a few lines, catching his micro expressions and shift in body language. There were also a couple of drawings you had done with him as a live model, though he was asleep and in the nude, so no one was ever going to know about that – you had stashed them away in a safe hidden behind the drawers of your desk. It only made sense that he was in most of your drawings: after all, he was the man who had bestowed upon you such unimaginable riches and a quality of life so drastically improved, that you had no choice but to worship him. He had made you who you were now. A shining diamond.

And this shining diamond was a little too bright for him to keep on focusing on the profit and loss analysis. After about ten minutes of frustrating silence, he dropped the papers onto the table in front of him and leaned to put his elbows on its edge. You had still not raised your eyes at him – something that you normally did nearly on instinct since you were so in tune with his gestures, which made Hongjoong inhale aggressively. His previously neutral expression had turned into a scowl as he raised an eyebrow and gave you a onceover. His precious doll was up to something.

“What are you doing?” though the question was simple, his voice was dangerously low. But you could not be threatened by a good time. You kept your eyes trained on the page as your hand moved methodically to hatching the shadows of his, as of not too long ago, brilliant blond locks, ones you adored to run your hands through whenever you had the chance. Which was a rare occurrence outside of the ‘bedroom’, but still.

“Just noting some things down, Mister Kim.” Though he had insisted that you call him Hongjoong when you two were alone, it had been a challenging transition to get used to. But at least it gave you ample opportunity for… discouraging him further. He liked for everything to run like a well-oiled machine, with his eyes reading a business strategy in anything and anyone. You had no doubt that that was how he was scrutinising you now. Equal parts assessing the attitude and doting on you.

He was a sweetheart treating his favourite toy. Talking competitive analysis and takeovers in the morning, and clinking glasses with you at an exclusive Michelin star restaurant in the evening. And to think that you were the only one, aside from his family, who got to see more than one side of him was an intriguing notion. Actually, scratch that. Certain things you were sure to be the only one taking care of. Take his nasty habit of overworking, which you had called out even if it was just you feeling bored: all work and no play made Hongjoong a dull boy, and thus, less likely to compensate for your presently aimless sitting around.

“By colouring the entire page? Not good to lie to me, you know that.” Of course. When it came to matters of business, for example, this man had ears everywhere, had infiltrated every other competitor and had become a spider in the corporate world. He would probably find out someone was cheating on their spouse sooner than the spouse themselves. When it came to you, however, he did not have your intricate neural network mapped out just yet. He could only fluff up his feathers and put on airs.

“It is only ink, Mister Kim. And surely the ink to paper ratio is not more than the balance sheet on page twenty seven.” You purposefully moved away from his interrogation, subliminally reprimanding him from stopping his concentration. The ghost of a smirk was gracing your lips, hidden by hair that had fallen to perfectly frame your delicate facial features. Hongjoong still had not corrected you on using his ‘work title’.

“I should ask you to start drawing the spreadsheets out by hand then.”

“Maybe next time, as a special treat. In the meantime, we have what we have and must settle for it.” A lot more standoffish than usual, you were brushing your boss off as you continued the sketch. He could not exactly reprimand you, however. You were right in the fact that his suggestion was nothing more than white noise.

“Settle for less, Y/N?” the question rang loudly in your ears and translated itself to a reminder to know your place fairly quickly. You could imagine Hongjoong’s raised eyebrow and playful grin. In addition to him hinting at your arrangements, he switched to calling out your first name. Promising.

There was a customary mention of money and class even when it was not the main topic of conversation. Really, it was what had brought you two together, or rather the stark difference between what you and him had, respectively. Hongjoong enjoyed having financial control over you and ended up dangling it above your head in the form of his not so subtle first-world conduct. You preferred to imagine that it was him wrapping you up in the softest, silkiest Chanel ribbon, like the one you had seen in adverts and on the packaging that, alone, could have probably provided you with enough food to last a week in your life before.

It was not that Hongjoong did not try to ‘stay humble’. Based on your observations, out of all his financial peers, company clients and members of the executive board, he was probably the least likely to boast about the figures that his numerous bank accounts contained. It was possible that when the strings of digits began to look more like a phone number, one grew more tranquil. Money spoke louder than words. But you knew how to make Hongjoong get vocal. Or so you thought.

“More is never enough.”

“Having more takes a lot of work and being on your best behaviour, Y/N.” he may not know all of your thoughts and reasoning but knew that you got extra charming when you became needy. Trying so hard to get his attention that you would invest all your efforts into it. It was only fair after how much he had invested in you.

The Tiffany & Co necklace on your neck that he traced with his gaze was nothing more than a collar, a leash tethering you to him. An Elsa Peretti piece, a golden snake which had cost Hongjoong just under thirty million Korean won, was perhaps the best way to symbolise the chokehold you were beginning to have on him. You were there in business, there in pleasure, and he was contemplating preventing you from taking holidays unless they somehow involved him. It would be easy – just block all of your cards and you would come crawling. He was greedy for your reactions. The way your lip would curl when he would put somebody back in their place during a conference or a meeting. How you enjoyed it when he praised you for completing the challenging, soul-draining tasks that never ceased to pile up – he had never failed to continue scrutinising you through the glass walls of his office as you excitedly returned to your desk, a soft smile always on your face. How you were completely at his mercy when he wanted to give you an extra special present. He loved how the jewellery he had gifted you or sponsored for you to buy rocked back and forth as he took his time to take you apart. Piece by piece. His priceless game.

Hongjoong smoothed his lapels and adjusted his cotton jacket that he had bought in the colour warm khaki, tightening the knot of the wrap belt. Smugly, he took note of how your pretty, made up lips parted. What were you imagining he was doing now? He was not going to care, at least not right away. He demonstratively picked up the reports again, flipping through the bounded pages on autopilot as, what he could only decipher to be a disappointed gasp, reached his ears. It was a relief that the paper hid his growing smirk. Mister Kim was work-mode Hongjoong, after all. What did you expect?

Ignored and rejected, so be it. You knew this interaction well enough to be able to count, down to the minute, when Hongjoong would crack, or you would crack and still come sauntering over. He liked to be needed – the main reason why he had agreed to become the heir to the corporation in the first place, more than you liked to be needy. But sometimes, you were a little too impatient for your own liking – probably a side effect of having been transferred to a silver spoon lifestyle after experiencing hardship after hardship. As such, the dynamic between you and Hongjoong was a constant battle. You could almost taste his pride as he inspected the figures you had compiled for him, a lazy hand moving to adjust the collar of his white turtleneck. Through fluttering eyelashes, you feasted on the dangerously handsome man, determining that he really did look astonishingly captivating in Balmain.

It was frustrating, this ongoing game that you two played and would not quit despite the effect that it very obviously had on all parties involved, but much like with the drugs that made the occasional special appearance in the closed VIP-only events, it was too addictive. Even now, you knew that you should not pay attention to Hongjoong, but your eyes were not obeying you in the slightest. Over the time you had come to intimately know this man, if there was one thing you knew for certain, it was that he had an aura. An enigmatic charm, a magnetism that was so subtle to anyone who you now had the ability and first world clarity of deeming 'average' was unlikely to detect. However, before you knew it, upon locking eyes with Hongjoong, listening to his dulcet tone that would turn to orchestrate the music in your mind, you began to fall hard and fast into the abyss that was his power and control, trapped and even if you wanted out, forgetting the words. Once you fell in, the only words that mattered were the ones that he deemed to be so, and they were so heavily contextual and dependent on his mood that, usually, you did not dare oppose it.

It was fascinating to you how time seemed to pass differently when there was a price associated with it. Be it Hongjoong's net worth or what he was wiring into your accounts, it did not matter. What mattered was the bills that bound you together like the lace of your lingerie, one which was growing tighter around your body by the second as you kept on openly devouring Hongjoong with each shameless gaze, the thoughts cropping up because of the ghost of a smirk that he was wearing only fanning the flame. He was illegal. In all senses. No man should have the right to have such an influence over you as he did, and yet here you were. Working the role of his personal toy, so dedicated that you were on the verge of begging for him to play with you. You needed him. As much as you hated to admit it, since you still did want to retain at least a tiny portion of independence, this man had given you more than what you could ever wish for. Riches, connections, diamonds, sex. And you could not get enough, happily driven to madness by the immense pleasure of being a capricious diva with infantile demands for all the world's sweetness. Or, as your brother had put it, perhaps out of a sick gratitude to you for helping him getting at least a part of his life back on track, before you blocked him for good, you were getting off on being a pampered, prissy sugar baby. Though you saw no issue with simply doing what you were good at, and you still completed your regular duties as a personal assistant. It was just that your 'personal' was a little different from the commonly accepted corporate average. And the business that you carried out in the after hours was not just classified – when you had been faced with the decision of whether to agree to enter such a relationship with Hongjoong or not, you had naively placed your life at stake. That was the level at which you had to operate. But the thrill that it gave you, more than justified it.

Your internal clock was ticking away like a time bomb as you grew more and more frustrated, while Hongjoong, in a manner not too far from that of a cat’s, gave a soft yawn and made himself more comfortable in his chair, spreading his legs further apart under his desk and leaning back to continue his reading. Deciding that he had enough of having to repeatedly push his glasses up, he decisively took them off, and slowly folded them together, holding one of the temple tips very lightly with his lips. In a graceful motion, Hongjoong set them down to his right, beside a couple of pens. You recalled speaking with the designer over the phone, ordering for them to be customised and getting shipped over from the US in record time, and while you were not exactly sure as to why they were so important, the key stakeholders in the company had raved about them on multiple occasions, much to your boss’s delight.

You could feel that he was well aware of your present sensations, and purposefully was not acting on them, just to see you squirm. This was only making you more fixated on getting his attention, which you tried to do by letting out another soft sigh, quickly realising that if you were to get anything out of him, you had to be more rash, and act on instinct. In other words, act out of line. Taking the moment he dived back into the report as an opportunity, you rose from the couch, and slipped out of your high heels while keeping your eyes trained on your boss. A barely noticeable twitch of the eyebrow and you were struggling to fight off a smirk, feeling every bit seductive even though it was most probably a vision of your own design. But a little confidence did not hurt.

This time, you did not make a sound as you slowly moved towards Hongjoong’s desk in a straight line, using your strength to keep your adrenaline-ruined breathing as level as physically possible, and your steps measured out as the plane rumbled beneath you. Head and body in the clouds. All because of the heavenly ruin who was paying no mind to how you rested the tips of your fingers on the edge of the desk, before lowering yourself onto your knees and dropping into a languid crawl. As you inched past his lacquered black boots, and soon found yourself right between his legs, you could see Hongjoong stiffen, but resist the urge of responding to your bold movements. This only played to your advantage, as you let your hands rest on his denim-clad thighs before snaking up to tug on his coat’s belt, loosening it until the material gave way and exposed the waistline of his jeans.

Even as you, with practiced, methodical motions, undid his jeans, he did not spare you as much as a pat on the top of your head, like he usually did when you were being his ‘good girl’. The only sign he gave of his awareness of you was the obviously hardening member that your hands purposefully grazed as you attempted to pull the denim a little further down to give you better access. When the jeans, or rather, their wearer, did not budge to allow you to take them off, you growled in annoyance and gave up trying to be gentle, instead wanting nothing more but attention, not from Mister Kim, not from your boss, but from Hongjoong. From Joongie. From your one and only daddy.

Said man was resisting every urge to yank you from under the desk and to punish you for being such a vixen, but it was clear to him that his disregard of your efforts might just be more painful – a realisation that did little to subdue his arousal. It made him acutely aware of your nimble hand finding the cut in his Armani briefs, and pulling out his erection, giving it a few pumps at the base with your fingers. The sudden caress had made him buck his hips forward, encouraging you to continue admiring his length and running your fingers up and down, not a single bit escaping your touch. He gripped the papers in his hands until they began to get crumpled at the edges, and eventually dropped them to lean back and get a view of the scene unfolding at his feet. All just to catch you as you licked your lips, revealing a thick coating of spit, moved towards his dick, and while keeping it steady with one hand, ran your wet tongue from the base to the very tip, parting with a lewd twirl over the head. Hongjoong bit back a hiss as he locked eyes with yours, half-lidded – you knew all his sensitivities, his pressure points and guilty pleasures, and that was infinitely dangerous for a man like him to share, it only made you more attractive. You had memorised him as if he was your assignment. Your most important test and duty. Never leaving your mind and driving you to insanity as you drifted from wave to wave of uncontrollable desire for him, and him alone. You were his. And you looked so pretty, a queen all made up and dressed in gorgeous rare pieces, kneeling before him and taking in his member between your soft lips. Deeper. Deeper, until he could feel your hot inner cheeks, the back of your tongue and how a rumble emanated from you as you hummed in satisfaction, the vibration forcing Hongjoong to tilt his head back and sigh.

You were greedy for Hongjoong, moving yourself at a slow pace to take in as much of him as you could, hands finding themselves clinging onto the legs of his jeans for support, and to allow you to try your best and continue devour him without his guidance. As you moved away for a couple of seconds to catch your breath, a salacious pop announcing the temporary loss of contact, you noticed a string of what you could only guess to be your saliva, mixed with his pre-cum hanging between his member and your progressively more swollen lips. Once again, you took the throbbing member in your hand and were about to resume its worship, when a strong grip of your hair, nails momentarily sinking into your scalp, alerted you and made your gaze shoot upwards. The sight made you cower, though the thrilling trepidation fuelled your yearning for the glowering man.

There was a demonic quality in how he stared down at you, every bit of the expression demeaning you and demanding your ruin. You knew you had overstepped by disobeying him and taking intimate matters into your own hands, but who could blame you when he was so breath-taking when wearing his favourite brand? When you lowered your eyes he tugged on your locks, sneering.

“Baby girl could not even wait until we landed, huh?” his dulcet tone dropped into a rough drawl as he could feel your breaths washing over the tip of his sensitive dick that was begging for you to finish what you had started.

“I couldn’t.” you purred, batting your eyelashes.

“And so, you resort to being naughty? Do you think that is the right thing to do, especially when I say that I am working, hm?” he was hooking the answers out of you, one of his eyebrows twitching in surprise as you did not respond immediately. He tightened his hold and made your head fall further back so that you were completely face to face, his member pressing against your cheek.

“It isn’t, daddy, but I couldn’t help myself. You just looked so pretty that I could not resist.”

“And I think you are being incredibly selfish, Y/N. Spinning these tales just so you can satisfy yourself.”

“No daddy, I want to make you feel good!” you insisted, a whine escaping you as you could feel your core beginning to grow warmer with the progressing conversation. Pressing your thighs tightly together, you relished at the friction, and bit your lower lip.

“Is that so?” he mused out loud, waiting for your to attempt to utter even a single word more.

“Yes Da-mmfph!” taking the chance, he pushed you right in, his member hitting the back of your throat, the impact making tears spring up. As you struggled against him, he held you in place and watched as you tried to adjust to him. Just as unexpectedly, he yanked you back, leaving your lips to kiss his tip, only to drag you down once more and thrust his hips once, twice against you until he could see the wetness in your eyes building until it was about to spill over.

“You said you wanted to make daddy feel good, yes?” he asked, lust clouding his brain as you mumbled utter nonsense, mouth pacified by the hard erection, “then do exactly as I say, baby girl.”

This was exactly what you missed. Hongjoong coaxing every unholy state out of you, sin setting you ablaze as you began to fail in registering the nuances of this demeanour, tears that were on the verge of rolling down your cheeks blurring your vision. This was how you pinched yourself for grounding, to assure that the lifestyle you had, the gifts which you had been bestowed with were all real and all yours. You did not search for forgiveness when the forbidden fruit was so damn sweet. So, you let yourself be used like an expensive escort by him, comforted by the thought that even though he could definitely afford having anyone else, he had selected you. And let you stick by him for almost two years. A true sweetheart who knew how to treat his girl right. You moaned into the pressure as the low grunts you elicited from Hongjoong let to the climbing of heat in your core. With the abuse of your throat becoming a rhythmic orchestration, you grew brave enough to improvise, and hollowed out your cheeks.

"Ah... fuck, baby girl..." the airy proclamation escaped him as your teeth just barely grazed his member, and he could feel his high building at an accelerated pace. He resisted your bobbing to catch a few seconds' break by pressing you to his hips, barely giving you a chance to breathe. But he knew you would take it. You always did.

Hongjoong's ragged breathing was sending you into overdrive, and you shut your eyes to allow yourself to focus on the lewd music. Barely audible over the jet engines, the loss of control was his primary expression of gratitude. The illusion that he was not, in certain senses, under your heel rapidly evaporated when the adrenaline shot him through the heart, and his frontal lobe shut down to give up the reins to carnal pleasure. Once the barriers disappeared, his one desire and need were clear. You. The one thing in his life that he would never be able to truly own, and as you unwounded him, he comprehended with an unprecedented lucidity. That was why, as you sensed his hold on you loosen and his orgasm inching closer than ever, and were about to give him the sweet release, Hongjoong snapped back to consciousness and nearly ripped you away from himself, your head barely missing the drawers under the desk.

With flushed cheeks and an adorable, innocent pout, you looked up at him, dribble accumulated at the corners of your mouth. He fell for this face every time. Your glistening eyes studying him as you appeared disappointed that you could not get daddy to cum, afraid that you made him mad. That you did something wrong. Oh, how far from the truth this was. Even though you had acted selfishly, and approached him on your own accord, nothing about you could be anything less than right. Right just for him. It was as if the heavens themselves had moulded you to fit him like a glove. Body and soul. And he will be a fool if he did not indulge in that every opportunity he had.

Taking both your hands in his, Hongjoong helped you up from under his desk, careful to not damage your dress - not that he cared for the price, but it was not particularly enjoyable contemplating the conversation you might have to have with dry cleaning. Or with the designers. Again. It was troublesome striking deals with strangers to keep their mouths shut. He rolled back on his chair, taking in your trembling form. Holding your legs together you were fighting your ache for stimulation, knowing full well that your panties were already ruined with your slick and were only serving as a fabric made for rubbing your sensitive clit. Every breath, every sigh from Hongjoong as he took off his jacket and carefully hanged it on the back of his chair, then fully undid his jeans and pushed down his underwear, was a reason for you to start begging. Couldn't he see how anxious for touch his little toy was? Evidently not, for Hongjoong took his sweet time with removing your dress, every button like a special prize that he wanted to cherish, while you were growing hazy as he peppered kiss after kiss with every new inch of exposed skin, crouching down to let the sensation build lower, feeding the knot in your stomach. His pecks stopped just about when he reached your navel and with a lazy smile on his face, he stood up to gaze into your soul with an unbelievable intensity. Hands running up your body, Hongjoong slid the magnificent article off you, hastily draping it over one of the chair's arm rests and not once glancing away from his favourite sight, a sultry oasis, within reach, and so beautifully hungry for him. He stopped your arms from resting on his sweater, muttering that you would mar it with your lusty filth, and rushed to take it off and throw it behind him. Then, there was no barrier for him anymore, and in one motion, his pelvis was against yours, member resting against your black lace-clad heat, and hands kneading your ass, moving closer and closer until they began to toy with the g-string the action turning to torture as he purposefully made the material dig into your pussy, enjoying how you threw your head back and bit back a groan.

"Please daddy, I need you..." you whispered as he increased the friction and proceeded to move his dick in and out between your full, closed thighs, teasing your erect nub until you writhed to seek even more proximity. This, however, earned you a sharp smack on your ass, the lack of anticipation making it sting. Hongjoong did not give you time to recover as he let the pins and needles work their magic and elevate your reception of his steady thrusts. You tried to grab onto him, the table, anything, but as soon as your fingers touched Hongjoong's chest, another hit echoed in your ears, eliciting a frustrated moan.

"You want to... make... daddy really happy and cum... right?" He panted, his nails digging into your flesh so violently that you could not help but wonder if Hongjoong was going to draw blood, but that brief musing only elevated your pleasure. “Then, you are going to be my pretty little fuck doll… understood?” there was only one right answer to the question, and you were not about to get on Hongjoong’s bad side by being a brat. You were too fazed to put up a fight, and merely mumbled a soundless:

“Yes… daddy…”

Hongjoong leaned closer to you, until his forehead was almost touching yours, and moved to wipe some of the lipstick and remnants of his precum from your lips with his thumb, while his other hand hooked the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them down to reveal your wet core. You wriggled to let them fall and kicked them away with an impatient foot, earning a chuckle.

“So eager, baby girl… I almost want to forgive you for not listening to me. I just said you are to be a doll,” he peered into your eyes, his breath hot on your mouth as he ran his fingers between your folds, covering them in your slick. It was adorable how you tried your best to keep up appearances even now, even when you had signed yourself away to be what effectively was his servant. You trembled as the cool metal of the ring on his index finger hit your clit, and exhaled shallowly as he played with you, “and dolls don’t move, do they? Can you do that?”

As he asked, his fingers curled into your pussy, while a thumb traced rhythmic circles over the nub, the sensation electric, building your high. The lasciviousness flashing in your pupils as your eyes rolled back was a cry to Hongjoong’s darkness. Hands suspended in mid-air, you did not dare act out nor attempt to navigate the intimate act, submitting to your boss, your daddy. Letting him take care of you. As he sped up, watching your face contort as you battled the approaching climax, Hongjoong found you endearing, the corners of his mouth twitching as a soft, radiant smile surfaced. He could never stay cruel with you for too long. He was giving you more than you could ask for, and yet, he still wanted to give you more. Everything would not be enough.

“Oh, my baby girl, are you close?” he inquired, cooing as your breathing quickened in response to his accelerated pumps into your wetness, wild from the addictive sound it produced. “Fine, you can hold onto me, Y/N, daddy will take care of you,” you did not need to be told twice, falling into him as your orgasm was imminent, “doing so well for me, baby girl…” he whispered into your ear, kissing the lobe and pulling you into an embrace as he felt your high wash over you, your sex pulsing around him and muscles contracting uncontrollably. Brushing your hair back, petting it a couple of times before settling on having a hand rest between your shoulder blades, he praised you. But did not stop. Greed went both ways.

Your prior filters completely broken, you moaned and whined as you kept on unravelling, Hongjoong’s fingers abusing your overstimulated cunt. With his toned body, and your ass pressed against the edge of the desk serving as your only support, you draped your arms over his shoulders and wrapped yourself around his neck, rationality leaving with every tremor. As you could feel another scalding fire building in your abdomen, just before the release Hongjoong removed his hand and instead took to gliding his dick against your pussy lips. With the sensation being too much, you yelped and sank into an orgasm, sweet nectar dripping onto, and coating his cock.

“Such a good girl for me, well done… Come on my dick baby girl.”

You were not sure when, due to the fog that enveloped your fucked out mind, but Hongjoong had made you lie on your back on his wooden desk, surrounded by the financial reports he could not be bothered to clear. He wanted you now, and that meant no pauses. Without as much as a warning, the blonde gave you one final teasing flick with his tip before bottoming out, the fullness making you gasp. Your walls were still clenching around him from your climax, which made Hongjoong growl as he grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him, spreading your legs further apart.

“So perfect for me, Y/N… only mine…”

He mercilessly pounded into you, chasing his own high while you were seeing stars. When you were like this, under him, hair cascading onto and off the mahogany, knuckles turning white as your grasped onto the desk as he thrusted, you were the closest thing to heaven that he could believe in. In a world that was drenched in materialistic attraction, sabotage in the name of another stack, and human lives turning into corporate statistics to improve key performance indicators, this was an ethereal madness that unlocked a primal bliss, untainted by present crises. The sweetest distraction, you took him so well that he liked to pretend that you had been made just for this. Just to become his possession. His gorgeous doll.

With you, Hongjoong had begun to see purpose in his riches, being able to play dress up with you, making the office a private cat walk as you strutted in the latest collections and custom made pieces. Gucci, Versace, Prada… it did not matter to him so long as you were wearing it with the intentions of impressing him, seducing him, and only him. He was fully aware that, technically, you could be dating someone else alongside your so-called partnership with Hongjoong. As a sugar baby you could even have another ‘sponsor’ out there somewhere. Another person to make you cum, to provide you with a sensual paradise. But the notion sent him into an inexplicable rage as soon as he entertained it, and as such, he preferred to isolate visions of you from the rest of the world. In turn, this manifested itself into his real life attempts to do the same. Longer hours spent after work, an unspoken rule that the assistant should not leave until the boss does. Michelin star restaurants and exclusive rooftop bars to lure you into being in his company. And of course, sex. Or making love. However, one wished to call it when the lines began to get blurry. But Hongjoong could not care less. You made him comfortable. You were his, you had to be, otherwise what did the two years mean?

Skin against skin, breath joining breath, sight clouding, going dark. Hongjoong rolled his hips, and lowered himself to a stance where he was hovering directly above you, his piercing gaze not once leaving you. Getting drunk off every moan and gasp that he was the cause of, he relished in the feeling of your pussy taking him so well, the orgasm that he had not allowed you to ride out still making your walls clench repeatedly around his dick, pleading for his intimate, salacious demise. His thrusts got deeper as he slowed the pace, progressively losing his senses to the speeding high.

“Mm… baby girl you are… fucking priceless…” he uttered, words broken apart by each time he bottomed out in you, his balls pressing against your wetness as you could only let out a series of mewls in response, thoughts unintelligible as the repeated hits to your g-spot brought you closer and closer to total destruction.

“Daddy… please, I’m-”

“Going to cum?” he finished your sentence as your try at speaking was interrupted by a wave of pleasure, mixing with the tension from before and making the tears spring up once again. You were a wreck, impaled by Hongjoong’s member as he returned to standing up in front of the desk, thrusts rapid, sharp and finally making a droplet roll down from the corner of your eye. You yelped:

“Hongjoong… ah this is…”

“Is it too much baby girl?” he asked, without any intention to stop as he could sense himself faltering at keeping up the act for any longer. His own climax was within reach, and he was not one to deny himself any pleasures.

“No, daddy, feels…. So ah… yes…” you mumbled, at least you thought you did, but could not confirm for certain.

“Pretty girl crying for me… so cute.” Praises spilled out of him as he groaned into the tightness, and, unsteady, removed himself from your cunt, letting out a low moan as rivulets of cum shoot out from his cock and onto your stomach.

The viscous white fluid decorating you was more than what he could ever hope for. The final marking that you were his to use, you were there to serve him, and he would never get enough. A light shake in his thighs forced him to seek balance in having a hand on either side of you, while his pulsing dick rubbed against your inner thigh.

“So pretty, Y/N. Just for me.” He stated, more to himself, and lowered himself further to give you a soft peck on the lips, which quickly deepened as you responded with an elated sigh. In these moments, you wondered if it was money that you were doing this for.

As he moved away, and with practiced motions began to clean you up with some tissues which you had in your bag, you regained full ability of inhale… count… exhale, and in the clarity, drifted to a post-coital contemplation. Hongjoong knew how to make you do what he wanted you to do. But did he know you? Could he confidently paint the portrait of your desires beyond financial and sexual gain? A man made of sugar, with an alluring physique and a kindness which he showed only to you, but should he be your only one? This thought had been plaguing you ever since last month. An unexpected, shattering appearance of a business card, that was now hidden behind a card you rarely used in your wallet, with gold embossed lettering and an otherwise minimalist design. Tasteful, exclusive, expensive. When you checked the names of those attending the meet on the island, the object had grown considerably heavier, weighing onto your consciousness. Discreetly given to you amidst a kiss of the hand and the reception of a smouldering gaze, it served a similar purpose to a number at an auction. The person whose name the card bore had announced himself as a bidder for your attention and services, a bidder astronomically higher than Kim Hongjoong, at that. It was tempting. Very tempting. And you knew that the conversation would occur at some point during your stay, seeing as even in the business setting, the man would undoubtedly be sat across from you, and would stare you down, right to the avarice festering in your heart wrapped up in designer. But you were caught in a dilemma.

Your eyes travelled back to the graceful form tending to you, forgetting about himself, at least until his baby girl was well cared for. A sweet angel, his face finally rid of tenseness and agitation as his entire focus was on your body, on you. The one who, unknowingly to himself, had shown you unprecedented vulnerability and, endearingly, trusted you much more than he ever should have. A man who walked on people and money, yet wanted a woman who could play with his heart.

It was not that simple anymore, was it? After so many doses, could you give this up? Give up and betray Hongjoong in search for a stronger hit?

What was it that you were truly greedy for?

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ms-fade · 1 year

Text

Only his.

Yandere Older!brotherKaz brekker X Sister reader. +18

Dead dove do not eat! PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS! Because this is really filthy- My house of the dragon fics are making me do this.

Warning: Innocent advantage, sibling-cest, dom/sub-con, fingering, chocking, possessive, yandere tendencies, a bit forced but nothing to bad. Spelling mistakes, this being rushed.

Proclaimer: This is the longest smut I have on here, and it’s also my worst one yet. Sorry that I sinned this much.

There was one person in all of ketterdam who was untouchable, no matter how close they tried to get they would be dead before they could get to her. Kaz Brekker’s sister, just knowing who she was put a price on your head. She was hidden somewhere, no one really knows where and it didn’t matter how hard anyone looked. She was nowhere to be found. She was his everything and all he had left of family, after his mother dying in childbirth with her, then to his father and then his older brother.

She held the most dangerous man in the palm of her hand.

This was your life, anything you wanted all you had to do was asked. A lovely house far in the fields, a beautiful view of the sky but you could never leave. Men and woman guarded every inch of the place to insure your safety, you even had your own cook. Many dresses that fit you just right, and fine like royalty filled up a room just for you. The way you live, it was like you were a princess. Protected but had everything you wanted, expect freedom.

But this was for the best. He kept you locked up for your own safety. He was your older brother and that was his job and you loved him for it. He’d visit as much as he could a week and always brought something new for you. He’d sleep in the room next to you, or you’d crawl into bed with him at night to get close. He didn’t care about touch when it came to you, his demons didn’t push you away but they demanded more.

You didn’t know much from being sheltered for most of your life, only what he said. Being away from the real world made you innocent and naive. You didn’t know about sex or anything of the sort. That was until Nina found out when she visited, “You shelter little bird.” She took ahold of your arm and smirked. “I will get you some books, but this is our secret okay?” You smiled as she held out her pinky. She was your favorite, she understood you and was just so sweet to you.

A week later she gave you two books, only two to start you off with so you could ease in to it. The words, the actions made you confused at first. But it was what the called love, what a man and woman are supposed to do when the love each other. You learn so much about the human body. Like what’s in between a man’s legs or a woman’s that was different from each other.

Each time you would get to the spicy bits your core would heat up, your body felt warm. Your body was begging to be touched but you didn’t know what to do. It was making you frustrated, you needed to have a release. Each night when you’d go to bed you’d dream of what the books said. A man overtop of you and kissing your skin, the moans on your lips.

Kaz started to notice your mood drip down at times. “Sweetheart.” He’d call you when you stared off into space. You’d blush each time, “Hmm?” Your sweet eyes looked at him. “Are you alright?” Each time you’d nod and smile at him, then return to your bouncy self. Each time he got closer to the truth.

It was late in the night and you were supposed to be asleep, kaz had to finish his work in the office there. He was planning another heist, one that would pay a shiny penny. The door creaked open and you stood there, heavy eyes and messy hair. His eyes took you in and his body tensed up, the silk dress sticking to your skin. He saw your breasts and the hardened nipples showing from underneath. Your hips and body are almost on display, at just a thin layer to separate your naked skin from him.

“Y/n, you should be asleep.” You whined at his words and walked closer to him, his mind going crazy at the pout on your lips. You shuffled across the wooden floor to him, “I couldn’t sleep.” He smiled and opened his arms to you and patted his lap. “Come sit, I know you fall asleep with you touch me.” You flashed him a smile and hopped up into his lap. You wrapped your legs around him and made sure not to hurt him.

“Thank you.” You giggled and kissed his cheek and the skin burned underneath your lips. His breath hitched and his head only thinking of all the things he could do to you. He saw the dress ride up your thighs and stretched, your underwear was on his pants and he could see the little white cloth. But he had to hold himself back and take a deep breath that only smelled of your scent, almost pushing himself over the edge.

At this moment your body was complete on fire and you could fell the wetness in your underwear and on your pussy lips. You thought with him it would cool you down but it only made it worse. His body was just making you drool. The passed few nights it wasn’t just some random guy you saw in a dream, it was him touching you.

“Kaz.” You whispered into his neck where you rested your head. You heard him answer in a hum. Your face burnt up in embarrassment and frustration at the question you were going to ask. “Never mind.” You shook your head and tried to forget about it. Kaz didn’t like when you kept things to yourself, he needed to know everything about you.

So his hands found your hips and pulled you back so you leaned up on his lap, your body pressing just right down onto him. “Speak your mind.” His voice deepens and his hands tighten against the skin of your hips. You swallowed and turned your head to the side, he watched the redness brighten up on your cheeks. Your hair fell in front of your face and tried to hide you. This amused him, he liked when you blushed and got shy.

“Come on, be a good girl and tell me.” He knew just how much you liked when he praised you and used that voice with you. He learned you’d listen to anything he would say if he talked down to you. You huffed and crossed your arms, “You love me right?” He almost laughed at your ridiculous question and wondered how the hell you could ever asked him that.

But he stopped the laugh in his chest but he did smile, “More then anything, you now that.” You nodded. “I love you too. You’re all I have kaz.” You placed your hands on his chest. He watched you face him and your eyebrows frown, with beaming eyes that stared at him. “Then why do you never touch me?” He froze up and his eyes went wide.

How could even know those words- No, you didn’t mean anything sinful by it.

“I touch you all the time.” He answered. “Not like that.” he raised a brow as you took his hand into yours. “You never touch me here.” You place his hands on your chest and he felt the soft skin underneath. He couldn’t stop the groan coming from his lips at your warmth, “And how do you know i should?” Kaz couldn’t stop himself from moving his hands across your breast and gave it a soft message.

“It’s when people love each other, more then anything and want the other- Do you not love me enough?” Your voice sadden and tears started to collect in your eyes. He shh’d you and leaned up closer, “You’re the only thing I love in this world.” You sniffed and smiled a bit. “I just didn’t know if you were ready for me,” his face got closer to yours and his eyes glanced down to your lips and back up to your eyes. “Do you want me to touch you?”

Kaz heard you take a breath and your body twitch a bit. “Please.” You whispered a beg and that’s all it took as he crashed his lips onto yours for the first time. All this time of yarning for you, your body and soul was finally here. But this was the part where he lost all control for what he once worried about and now all he wanted to do was please you.

As his lips moved against yours his hands went down to your dress and put them inside. He felt your skin that was hot under his fingertips, you’d gasp a bit in his mouth. He realized he couldn’t feel around your body because of the fabric so he pulled back. “Get up.” He demanded and pushed you back softly off his lap. “Take it off and get on the desk.”

You obeyed his commands and lifted your dress up and over your head, it finding its way to the floor. His eyes glued to your naked body as saw it up close, not covered in water and soup or by a towel. You sat back on the table and he watched your chest bounce as your moved, his cock fully hardened. You saw his hunger gaze and being finally naked made you want to hide but you didn’t.

“You’re breathtaking.” He complimented you and got out of his seat. You blushed and smiled at his praise. He got in between your legs and his hands found their way up to your nipples again. “I want you to hold nothing back.” As soon as he said that his fingers pitched the sensitive skin of your nipples. You gasped and your back arched at the new feeling and the pain.

“I’ve dreamed of this, to feel and hear you.” He leaned down and groaned in your ear, his hands still working on your chest. “Do you know how much I had to hold back?” He sounded rough and desperate. His lips kisses your neck and you moaned and titled your head to the side for him to have more room. “Fuck.” He growls and sinks his teeth in your skin.

You squealed at the pain and your pussy clinched at the feeling. “Kaz.” You called his name and he smirked. “That’s right, I’m the on making you feel good.” He pulled his hands back and yanked your hips forward to the edge of the desk. His fingers tugged the cloth of your underwear down and down to fall on your ankles.

You gasped at being fully on displayed for him, he could see your puffy pussy. “Look at you,” he teased as he stared at you, “So pretty.” You looked away from him and leaned onto your hands. “You’re just saying that.” You felt a bit self conscious because you had no idea what you were supposed to look like.

“Don’t say that, never say that again. I’m your elder brother and I’ll never lie to you.” He expressed and you felt at ease. He pushed your thighs apart to get a better view at your cunt, the glossy sopping hole. “You know what I’m going to do with my hands?” He asked, if you knew you could touch each other then he needed to know everything you did.

You nodded, “I want them in me, I want to learn the feeling.” As if he couldn’t get any more turned on his cock throbbed at your tone, soft and needy. “It might hurt for the first, but you’ll be crying in pleasure when I’m done.” His hand moved up to your mouth and he shoved his fingers in. You chocked a bit and gasp, he didn’t really give you a warning. But you had read about this, you were supposed to suck them. So you moved your tongue across his fingers and closed your mouth to get it coated with your spit.

Kaz watched you closely and he thought about how good it would feel to have your mouth wrapped around his cock. But he’d have to wait for that because tonight was about you. He pulled his hand away from your mouth and placed it in between your thighs. His fingers dragged through your slit and clit, you moaned at the sweet felling. He likes your reactions so far but he couldn’t wait to see you cry from just his fingers, he needed to hear you scream for him.

So he took one finger and pressed it at your entrance and slowly pushed it in, and because you were already aroused it slipped in easily. You moan and lean back slight to part your legs, it hurt for a minute but he didn’t care. Half of him liked to see you in pain. He started to move his finger in and out at a slow pace and enjoyed to watch it. “Kaz.” You whimpered at the feeling, it was so good. You wanted more, you needed more of him.

He looked up at you and started to thrust his finger in faster and it was too much for you and you screamed out. Rough and fast his fingers moved within you, you twitched up at the overwhelming speed. You tried to grab his wrist put he just slapped you away, he was having to much fun. You closed your eyes and moaned out, small tears came out the corner of your eyes.

“You can’t even take what you asked for,” he taunted and laughed, “is it too much for you?” His voice wasn’t sweet and caring, it was teasing and amused. You couldn’t speak so you just nodded your head, your pussy squealing at the fast movements. “To fucking bad.” You whined and cried.

Kaz shifted his weight and pushed his fingers in so far to get farther within you and curled just right. “Fuck.” You cried out and arched up. Kaz looked at you and glared at the word, you were forbidden to use such filthy words. He precious girl.

His other hand reached up and grabbed your throat into his grasp and squeezed the sides and took ahold of you. Your eyes shot opened, you felt panic and shocked. “Did I tell you to use such words?” You head shook as much as he let you. Your voice didn’t get passed his grip. “That’s the only pass I give you, or I will make it so you can’t walk.” He forced your head closer to him as his gaze darkened.

“Do you understand?” You wanted to whimper and get away from him, he’d never be so rough with you. But for some reason it was intoxicated how he controlled you. When you nodded your head yes and he let you go, and you gasped for air to refill your lungs. You didn’t get a break as he pulled his fingers out of your pussy and yanked you off the desk.

You wanted to question his actions but you saw him fiddling with his belt and you understood what he was doing. You started to get excited at the thought of seeing his cock, something you had only pictured before. “You look desperate.” He teased and made you roll your eye, which he caught.

He spin you around and slammed you onto the desk, your ass up in the air and bend for him. “You must really like to test me,” his nails dug into the soft skin on your ass and it made you cry out. It made you shake underneath his touch. “I was going to be easy, but maybe you need a reminder to follow the rules.” You wanted to fight back but you knew he didn’t like back talking so you sat still.

You felt something pressed against your pussy and you felt your stomach turn, it was his cock. “You want to be a good girl for me?” He asked and your heart screamed, it was all you ever did. Kaz taught you that you needed to be good for him, like it was your life purpose. You never had another choice. “Yes. Please, I’ll be good.” You howled with a desperate voice.

Kaz took his hands stretched you part and pushed his cock head through your walls, slowly going in. It took a minute for you to take him and get passed the tip. You’d never been so full before and it hurt, so you gripped the table at the pain. “Kaz” you whispered a plead but he just kept going in and you cried at the pain. You were thankful that you were so wet that it helped him inside.

Kaz thrusts up and bottoms out within you and your voice filled up the room along with a groan from him. Kaz pulled out of you and slammed back into you before you had gotten used to his size. You sobbed and hit your head on the wooden table and your legs moved a bit. “You’re going to take what I give you.” He started to move and didn’t care if you were ready or not, you’d get used to it soon.

It only took a few thrusts before you were sobbing in pleasure and you started to try and move back for more. Your pussy leaked onto your own thighs and onto his cock, it making your ass sticky. Your stomach curled up at the feeling but the way he sounded made it more pleasurable.

Kaz couldn’t handle the feeling of your little hole finally around him, that he already felt like filling you up. He was addicted to the feel before he could even fuck you and now he’d at least fuck you once a week. “That’s a good girl,” he brought his hand and slapped your cheek with a hard blow. You jumped a bit at the surprise and clinched around him, “Take me so fucking well.”

He growled and his hips went faster and his cock hit your insides. “Kaz.” You whined at the feeling growing in your stomach and you tried to suck him in. Kaz couldn’t bare the feeling of you clinching around him so he went faster and harder to get you to cum faster. “Cum- Oh, shit. You better fucking come.”

You voice got higher and your eyes rolled back as you began to see stars and with a few more thrust your mind went black and a wave flashed through your body. Your legs wobbled and your cunt pulsed around him and he felt your cum leak onto him and that pushed him over the edge. You felt his hot cum shot inside of you and it made you feel fuzzy. Your body shook with the feeling of your release and being filled up.

He groaned and stop his movements and let every bit of his cum leak into you. He breathed hard and didn’t pull out out of you for a minute and rested. That aloud you to have a breath and your eyes become heavy and your body got tired.

“I’m sorry,” he said and then grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back, your body was pulled up and your back hit his chest. “But I can’t stop here.” His hips slapped up again and your body began to shake and your mind went blank again. “To much- need to rest.” You begged him. But he wrapped his arms around your arms and over you.

“You’ll rest when I’m done.” you couldn’t do anything but cry in pleasure as he continued to fuck up into you. It was just too much and you were so sensitive at just coming and it being yours first real time. “Just take it.” He kissed behind your ear.

“Such a good girl.” It wasn’t until he pumped you full three times and you collapsed in his arms that he stopped. No matter how much you begged at overstimulation, or how many times you came around him. He fucked you full until you could stand.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker x reader smut #dead dove do not eat

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silverwolf-108 · 1 year

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Yandere TF141 + König x Fem!Reader

Summary: You the new recruit of military, you dream to become a military. The higher ups found you fascinating and amazed seeing your skills and beauty. But they saw you being held by your ex, they plan to kill him from touching their girl.

Warning: Strong language, violence, obsessive behavior, possessive, blood

Y/n POV:

I stand in straight line of military men’s, wanna know why? Because I’m a military too. Reason why I’m here is because my grandfather is a military too. I was amazed the story he told me when I was little, he talk about himself that he save dozen of people from the enemy, take down down the enemy base, and stuff like. I wanna follow my grandfather footsteps because military are amazing. They serve homes and save people lives from danger.

“Attention!” The men who is the boss of military ground shout as we all stand straight “Alright rookies! Today the higher ups are gonna teach you how to be a soldier! Seems like they’re coming right now.” We look up see a helicopter coming down. The helicopter landed on the ground as the door slide open, coming out are five mens. “These man’s are Task Force 141! What ever you fellas do, don’t let your guard down! Understood?!” We shout ‘Yes Sir!’

“Alright rookies, let’s get to practice.” The man with fish hat and cigars said. He pick few mans and tell them what group they be before he pick next. All mens are now in their groups and for me, I’m in the Ghost group. I heard he’s a lieutenant that the mens talk about before we got pick. They say he’s a mysterious and serious guy.

“Alright you punks, let’s go for a target range.” We follow him as we headed to the target range where we practice to shoot the enemy. We listen to Ghost explaining about the target we need to aim to shoot the enemy. The mens take their turn to shoot the target. Some of them miss and some of them didn’t miss.

I stood in front that it’s my turn, I held my gun taking a deep breath to calm myself. One of target appear, I quickly shoot it as another appear. I shoot every target that appear fast and didn’t even miss one. After I’m done shooting I turn around and see all mens stares at me, even lieutenant Ghost stare at me too.

Next is crawling under the bar wires, it sound hard but I had to get through it. I crawl under the bar wires and ignore the stain of wet dirt on my military uniform. We did few practice and training and it was like an hour. I didn’t give up that easily, I had been training a lot since I was a teenager because I wanna train my body before becoming a military.

After we finish training and practice we head to our cabin to get some rest. I head to the girls cabin because here of the military ground we have our own separate cabin. “Y/n!” I met by a hug of my friend, Nina. Nina is a friend of mine, we went in same high school and became great friends. She told me she wanna be military too because her father died in war two years and wanna be just be like him.

“How’s your first time?” She ask. I told her it was great and easy. Nina told it was a bit difficult but I told her never give up and never let your father down. It gave her motivation because I see fire in her eyes. We hit the shower, dry ourselves, change into our pajamas, and went to sleep.

Narrator POV:

“What?! That woman went every practice training well and didn’t think it’s hard?!” Soap said. “Yes Soap, she didn’t think it’s hard. She never gave up.” Ghost explain. “You know I really wanna see that woman skills.” Gaz said sitting next to Price. “S-same.” König join in.

“What’s her name?” Price let out puff of smoke “Her name is Y/n L/n. She is a rookie but somehow she take things well.” Ghost told him. “Hey Price! Is it okay you pick her to my group the next day? I Really Wanna see what she capable of.” Price think for a moment. He puff out another of smoke and said “Okay Soap, I’ll pick her for you.”

——————————

Next Day

You put on your military uniform in early morning before heading outside to get some fresh air. You sat on the wooden crates by the door listening to the birds chirping and stare at the sky. “Y/n L/n” you brought out your dagger from your thigh holster held it to intruder neck but you only met Sergeant Soap MacTavish .

You gasp quickly put your dagger back in holster “Sergeant MacTavish! I’m so sorry I almost hurt you! I thought you were-” she was cut off by his laugh “Don’t worry, anyway that was pretty cool. You got sense of danger. I’m impressed.” Soap grin. “Anyway I wanna say you did amazing yesterday. Ghost told me and the others that you were amazing. Tell me, why you join the army?” Soap ask.

“My grandfather was a military soldier so I follow his footsteps and I wanna become just like him. He had a history” you explain. Soap pat your shoulder “I see, well, your grandfather is gonna be so proud of you.” He gave you one last pat before he walk away.

——————————

It’s been almost a year you train every impossible practice training on every morning and evening. You were getting the hang out it, being pick by one of the Task Force 141 members are not bad because they always treat the rookies some hard way to get them stronger for the war.

You pant heavily after finish running ten laps in the field and head to the cafeteria that is time to eat for lunch. You got your tray of food and sat by your friend Nina talking each other. You finish your food and head to the dirty pile that the tray should be put away but someone grab your waist made you drop your tray and brought your body closer to someone chest.

You look up to meet a guy, your eyes widen in shock only to meet your ex, Daniel. You and him were great couple back in high school but you caught him cheating with another girl at the hallway. You decided you don’t wanna see him and focus on your schoolwork. You got missed call and text message from him, when you saw him walk toward you, you show him the picture you took about him with another girl kissing each other. He was shock and try to make up excuses but you didn’t listen but slap him and walk away.

Now you see him again as a military soldier, you try to push him away but he held you tight. “Y/n listen I wanna talk to you.” He pleaded. “No! I don’t wanna listen to you after what you done to me since high school. If your girlfriend is here, go with her. Leave me the fuck alone!” Daniel try to hold you from breaking free but he was pull away cause him to let you go.

You look whoever is behind Daniel only to see Ghost and Gaz holding Daniel shoulders. “The lady said leave her alone.” You look over who’s behind you only to meet König, Soap, and Price. Daniel know who they are and he’s started to shake in fear.

“Take him to my office.” Gaz and Ghost nodded their heads and drag Daniel to Price office. “You okay?” König ask worry. You nod your head “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” Price pat your head “By the way, I check your results from training practice and we want you to be in our team.” You gaped in shock what you heard from him.

“R-Really?” He nod his head. You couldn’t help but hug him, Price didn’t mind and hug you back. You quickly pull back what you did “Sorry! I couldn’t help it!” Price chuckle “It’s fine. Now go back to your eating while me and my team are gonna have a talk with your ex.” He and his mens exit out the cafeteria. You hurry back to your seat and talk to your friend what happen.

—————————————-

Price Office

The Task Force 141 stood front of Daniel who lay on the floor cover in bruises and scars. “W… what do you want?” He groan in pain. “You touch what’s ours.” Ghost growl. “And we don’t want you get closer to her.” König growl. “Who?!” Daniel yell. Soap knee down front of him “Y/n L/n” Daniel gasp in shock what Soap said.

“Her? Look what you saw is- Ah!” Soap break his wrist. “You don’t deserve her.” Gaz join in pull out his dagger and stab Daniel both ankles causing him to scream in pain. Daniel scream for help as loud as he can “Scream all you want but this room is soundproof.” Price puff out a smoke. Ghost and König join in too as they all work together killing Daniel.

#cod x y/n #cod mw2 #call of duty x you #call of duty x reader #könig mw2 #ghost mw2 #price mw2 #gaz mw2 #soap mw2 #yandere call of duty #cod x you #obsession

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unrequitedloveletter · 1 year

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Haunted- K.B x Fem! Sun Summoner! Reader

Okay, this was requested by @freddycarterswife, and the only reason I’m making a separate post is because I didn’t want the post with her notes and mine to get too long and clog up anyones dash, so this was my solution!

I have two more requests in my inbox and then my requests will be open again and I have a big plan coming up for my two year anniversary on this account (which is being combined with my 600 follower celebration because why not) so a lot is going to come out during the second half of this week! I’m looking forward to it and I can’t wait to start accepting requests again

Fic type- angst with a fluffy ending

Warnings- mentions of death, torsos and legs separating with the use of the cut, mentions of guns, mentions of cremation ashes

You’d fled Ravka in the last days before the war began, vowing never to let anyone know of your status as one of the only two sun summoners who existed in the world at that time.

You fled to Ketterdam stashed on a cargo ship, having expected to find decent lodgings near Fifth Harbor and continue as you had, alone in your endeavors and without fear.

You had enough money to get through your first week, and you found yourself in the Barrel. You saved Kaz from being jumped and got yourself a room in the Slat free of charge and a job working at the bar in the Crow Club on weekdays.

Kaz must’ve noticed it right off the bat, the way with which you carried yourself and the way that you seemed just to exist. It didn’t feel like you were a girl who was down on her luck but rather a girl with a past full of secrets.

But you worked at the Crow Club, you lived in the Slat, and you’d joined the Dregs nearly right off the bat. The money you’d brought with you for your first week dwindled quickly, but the money you made from the jobs that Kaz put you on the crew of made up for it twentyfold, at least. The money was good, the people great, and eventually, your life in Ketterdam was one you settled into; it grew into a secondary home, of sorts.

You summoned the sun on a semi frequent basis to keep yourself from growing sick in the absence of your small science, oftentimes using it to bring light when your oil lamps had died and you were still reading, occasionally using it to bring you warmth when it grew cold in the Slat during the winter.

By the time you’d lived in Ketterdam four years, Kaz came to you with the biggest heist yet. It was in Ravka, the theft of several important jewels and a few apparently priceless enameled eggs with promise of good money from Nikolai Lantsov and his wife, Zoya Nazyalensky.

Nikolai had told Kaz to name his price and Kaz had promptly told him that his price was a minimum of forty million kruge. With those words, the deal was sealed and he’d come to you, asking if you were in or out.

You’d told him you were in, and that got you where you were, standing in a dusty hotel room near the location of the items that you were to steal and return to the palaces.

Nina and Matthias were grabbing food at the small restaurant located inside the hotel, Wylan and Jesper grabbing ice and coffee grounds from the machines at one end of the hallway, and Inej was scouting, seeking any last minute details that could’ve been helpful when the heist was to go down within the following two hours.

“Be careful,” Kaz said, eyes watching the sun as it began to set. You’d been watching it, too. Four years since you’d last seen a Ravkan sunset. As it turned out, you’d missed them more than you thought. “This entire heist is a risk, Y/N. Try not to get yourself killed.”

A grin came easily to your face as you resisted the urge to summon an arc of sunlight, bright and blazing into the room.

You almost wondered what would happen if you did. Kaz had long grown used to the two of you having your own secrets, and would he really care? Would he even blink at the fact that you could summon the sun, especially when one considered that Alina Starkov had died and at least ten sun summoners had been left in her wake? Would he really care about it other than connotating that, had you told him, it could’ve been a useful tool on a few of the jobs you did?

“You too, Brekker,” you said. “Don’t die on me, Kaz. I’d hate to plan a funeral for you.”

He turned to you, and you caught a smirk on his face. “Well, I do at least expect a headstone. My enemies need something to spit on when they’ve heard of my death.”

“Nah,” you said. “No headstone for you or your enemies. I’ll cremate you, turn some of your ashes into a necklace and put the rest into a remake of your cane, provided I find a Fabrikator who can even passably replicate it.”

“If you die, I’ll put your ashes into the water at Fifth Harbor,” he said.

“No, you won’t,” you rebutted. “You’ll put them into soil, and use that soil to plant a garden. I’ve got a will, Brekker. You will abide by it.”

Kaz scoffed. “What, living in the Barrel make you so unoptimistic that you felt the need for a will?”

“Living in Ravka did,” you said. “Not really a good place to live when the Unsea was expanding and a war was almost guaranteed. I left the day before the Darkling expanded it, haven’t been back around until now.”

Kaz only nodded. It was another piece of your history that he didn’t know, another tidbit given to him, another tidbit that meant he would likely give you something in return.

At that, the both of you heard Wylan and Jesper as they opened the door.

“Just don’t get killed,” Kaz said. “I am not the man who will put your ashes into soil or plant them into a garden, so keep your head, at the very least.”

You shook your head, grin moving onto your face slightly. That was as much as Kaz telling you he loved you, and you’d find a way to tell him you loved him in return, be it that night or in due time.

You were panicking.

The jewelry had been procured, the enamel eggs in all their horrific, ugly glory were in the bags that you’d hauled over your shoulders. The guards had located you, though, and as fast as the seven of you were capable of moving, it seemed the guards were faster.

You turned just in time to see two guards aiming their pistols at Kaz and Jesper. As though it were instinct, you raised your hands, summoned all of your power to the forefront of your mind.

You were on autopilot, almost, as you summoned a blazing beam of light, held it in your hands, wielded it as a weapon of your own.

And then, you released it.

You watched in terror as your light sliced the guards in two from their torsos, hallowed screams leaving their lips as their knees toppled and their guns fell from their loose, dead hands.

Everything stopped. Jesper, Nina, Inej, Kaz, Wylan and Matthias turned around, having stopped in their tracks. All of them looked to you instantly. Your throat dried and you hated yourself for the fact that you found you had no words.

“You’re a--” Nina began, but Kaz cut her off.

“You can summon the sun, and you never told anybody,” he said.

You didn’t speak, only crumbled to the ground. You weren’t supposed to do that, and some part of you regretted it. But the other acknowledged that you’d done what was necessary to keep Kaz and Jesper alive.

“Whatever,” Kaz said, deeming it unnecessary to carry what was almost a fight into a fight, be it with words or balled fists. “We’re leaving. This is done.”

“Don’t leave me like this,” you said, finding the words at the least opportune time. “Please, don’t.”

“May you find someone else to churn your ashes in the soil and make a garden out of them,” he said. “Because it won’t be me.”

You surrendered the bags you’d carried to Nina, who looked at you pitifully, and watched the crows go.

You left after what was probably fifteen minutes but felt like a thousand days, finding yourself in an alleyway, back pressed against the wall. Your ability to summon was always where things went wrong in life.

It’d nearly gotten you killed when you refused to be the Darklings puppet. It’d nearly gotten you killed when Alina had come around and he realized he didn’t need to hold out hope that you’d come around anymore. Refraining from using it in longer pockets of time had nearly killed you, too.

In the end, your ability to summon the sun had been what caused you to lose everything.

You felt the tears fall, and you let them. You’d be haunted by them, the friends you’d once had, for a lifetime, and that was the precise reason you couldn’t go back to Ketterdam.

On the other hand, what choice was there? Would you go to the Grand Palace, plead your case and pray to the saints that Nikolai would allow you a room to stay in?

Would you smuggle yourself onto a cargo ship just as you’d done four years before? Would you live a life somewhere new, perhaps Novyi Zem, where Grisha were considered to be blessed?

You had no idea, but you knew that you would be haunted by Kaz Brekker, his crew, and Ketterdam for the rest of your life. There was no going back, not after that.

It was just a matter of where, exactly, you would go.

You found yourself on Ketterdam soil six months later, the city chilly and the leaves changing as was typical with October weather. You found Jespers gaze in the same time he found yours, a grin easily coming to his face. He’d missed you, so it seemed.

“Glad you got my letter,” he said as you stepped onto the dock. “I’d been going off rumor, mostly tidbits and things that Inej heard of you. Mercenary, hm?”

You shrugged. “Needed something to do after that night. Figured that being a killer for hire was my best bet, and mercenaries make a shit ton wherever you end up. How’d you know I was in Novyi Zem, exactly? I’m good at keeping my locations under wraps so thick that even Inej shouldn’t’ve figured it out.”

Jesper shrugged, shook his head. “You didn’t when you moved on from the Wandering Isle to Novyi Zem. Maybe you subconsciously wanted to be found? Maybe you missed me, or a certain Barrel boss who dresses like he’s a businessman?”

You laughed. “I’ve missed you and the rest of the Dregs, certainly, but Kaz? No. I haven’t thought of him since he left me after I’d saved his bloody life.” A lie, though it sounded convincing enough.

You’d thought of him everyday, day in and day out. You were haunted by him, just as you’d thought yourself to be, haunted by him and by Ketterdam and the Crow Club. You’d vowed never to go back, but then Jesper had written to you and explained that Kaz wanted to discuss something.

So, hesitantly, you left Novyi Zem, a place you were starting to think could be a home, and there you were. Walking to the Slat and talking to Jesper and ignoring the way that your heart could not stop racing at the thought of seeing Kaz again.

Jesper only laughed. “Sure. I’ll believe that if you do.”

You stuck your tongue out at him in retaliation, the rest of the walk being filled with updates on how things had been in Ketterdam and stories of Novyi Zem and the Wandering Isle in turn.

Then, you were at the Slat, leaning against Kaz’s office door, not looking at him as he did not turn his gaze up from the heist he was planning to look at you.

You summoned a beam of sunlight to your fingertips, made a loose fist and flicked your fingers out, watching amusedly as a sliver of sunlight moved and skittered across the room to Kaz’s desk, glinting sharply against the inkwell that was within his vision and causing him to close his eyes and blink in confusion before he looked up and saw you.

“Good,” he said. “You’re here. We’ve much to discuss.”

“We’ve nothing to discuss,” you responded. “Unless, of course, this discussion is to begin with you apologizing for leaving me in the dust when I was the reason you didn’t get killed, even if it meant I’d killed two other people as a result. I want an apology, Brekker, and unless you give me one, or, at the very least, a Brekker-ified version, this discussion is over before it can begin.”

Kaz sighed as he leaned back in his office chair, gesturing to the coffeemaker he kept by the door.

“You don’t look well rested.”

“Nor do you.”

“I can imagine that killing people leaves you with fewer resting hours.”

You scoffed. “I don’t kill innocents, Brekker. In the four years we knew each other before you left me in the dust, I figured you could’ve deduced that the death of innocent people is strictly against my moral code.”

“First off, you’re right,” Kaz said. “You saved my life that day. I know. I know it probably means I owe you, too.”

“The one thing you did owe me has just been given,” you said. “Not quite the words I was looking for, but good enough. Now, what do you really want?”

“To start over,” Kaz said. “We could use a mercenary on the crew, and... people have certainly missed your presence here.”

You grinned. “People being you, Brekker?”

Kaz stayed silent, a begrudging look that said: you know exactly what I mean and I am not going to say it out loud because I am afraid that admitting it makes me weak by default lingering in the blue of his eyes.

“Yeah, people being you,” you nodded, and he nodded. “One reason to agree, then. All I need is one reason.”

“The pay will be decent,” he said. “Better than decent. Name your price.”

“You really are desperate,” you laughed. “Missed me that much, did you?”

“Your price?”

“The biggest available room you have in the Slat,” you said. “My old job at the bar in the Crow Club, and the promise that, if I die on any heist in which I am included, you are the one who churns my ashes in the soil and uses them in the planting of a garden. Don’t care what you grow, as long as you’re the one doing it.”

Kaz laughed, and the part of you that loved him responded like things were as they had been six months before, your heart giving a flit that you did not put aside.

“You’re quite the easy bargain,” he said. “I agree to your terms. Welcome back.”

You grinned, and Kaz felt his heart begin to race just the same as it would’ve six months before, when he’d catch you grinning at one of Jespers jokes or something like a dandelion coming up through a crack in the cobblestones. When he would catch a grin that would come onto your face during the rarer sunny days in fall, most often happening after a series of storms, your face turned to the sunlight as you basked in it.

“You don’t hate me for it still, do you?” You asked. “The fact that I didn’t tell you?”

“I did for a solid two weeks,” he said. “And then my only thought was that you saved my life and that I scorned you for it. I never really hated you, not for a moment. Do you still hate me?”

You laughed, and Kaz felt his racing heart lighten into the weight of air.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, approaching the coffeemaker. You started up a pot, grabbed a book from one of his shelves, and found yourself on the windowsill, just like you would’ve been seven months before, reading while he planned out the next big thing and feeling your heart swell every time you looked at him.

You stayed there through the remainder of the day, occasionally summoning a sunbeam at the right angle while you chatted with Kaz, watching as a rainbow fell across the pages on which he wrote. You felt like yourself again, no longer haunted by Kaz and Ketterdam but rather, happy as ever to be back and in his company.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x fem! reader #six of crows #shadow and bone

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bloodyknucklesforme · 8 months

Text

So I’ve decided to try some kinktober stuff especially since I’ll be in the car for 12 hours this weekend. Send me an ask or two and I’ll queue them up for October. I can’t guarantee I’ll get to it but I’ll try my best 💖

Request for any AU I’ve previously written about 💕

Ships

Ghost x Reader (if you want agent!reader lmk 💕)

Soap x Nina

Soap x Nina x Ghost

Nina x Gaz

Price x Reader

Gaz x Reader

Ghost x Soap

Alejandro Vargas x reader (I want to write him more)

Off limits: watersports, non con, a/b/o (I just can’t write it), idk anything I don’t feel comfortable writing

#go wild #john soap mactavish #ghost x soap #simon ghost riley #soap x nina #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #captain price x reader #captain john price #simon ghost x reader #kinktober #ghostsoap #call of duty mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty #cod mw fanfiction #cod mw22

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auroravictorium · 1 year

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karma (k.b.)

trick me once, trick me twice. don't you know that cash ain't the only price?

Summary: kaz gets his first piece of information about reader's whereabouts, and pekka gets his revenge; inej makes a pivotal discovery, and kaz vows to kill pekka rollins. Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship) Word Count: 3.8k Warnings: moderate violence [choking, breaking bones, punching, kicking], mentions of blood, mentions of killing (in the context of a threat), violent!kaz (but not as violent as he could be, y'know)

Genre: angst + action

Author's Note: another beast of a part for you guys!! i hope you all enjoy, and thank you to everyone for your kind words!! you're all so sweet i'm sobbing - promise we're gonna get a reunion between kaz and reader soooooooon! then some fluff hehe.

grishaverse masterlist

"I asked around," Nina said quietly, just for Kaz to hear as they stood behind a crumbling chimney atop a bank in the Financial District. It wasn't far from where Y/N was taken, and with this view, Nina couldn't blame Jesper and Inej for losing sight of the mercenaries. In the tangle of Ketterdam streets, it was too easy for them to get away. "Only three mercenary groups based in Kerch use ether."

"Which groups?" Kaz said, peering around the chimney and glancing at his pocket watch. Pekka Rollins's closest financier should be coming up for his hourly smoke anytime now, and Kaz was growing impatient. Not that he had much patience in the past three days, most of it shot by worry and an inability to stop wondering if you were still alive. He knew Pekka Rollins; he wouldn't choose a mercenary group that wasted time.

"-And the-Are you even listening to me?" Nina said, cutting herself off and looking at him with a raised brow. Her unimpressed look softened when she saw his pursed lips: his only tell that he was somewhere else, probably thinking about Y/N. "Kaz. We're going to find her."

Kaz turned and masked his concern with a scowl. "Of course we will. That's why we're here," he said sharply. She's in this mess because of me. The thought had plagued him since Inej and Jesper told him you were gone; finding you was the only way he could fix this. He wouldn't accept any alternative. "Which group uses ether the most?"

"They call themselves the Dykhaniye." Nina closed her eyes and felt for nearby heartbeats; none, except for Kaz's. "Wylan said ether is highly flammable. As far as anyone has heard, they're the only ones able to use it successfully without any significant losses on their end. Others have tried, but..." She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She didn't want to think about what ether was doing to Y/N. Difficulty breathing, fatigue, vomiting... Nina knew Y/N was strong but didn't know how long she could survive being repeatedly poisoned.

"We need to find where they're based. That's where they'll have taken her." Kaz clutched onto his cane and fought to keep his breathing steady. Nina's wording was deliberate. No significant losses on their end. If they found Y/N, what state would she be in? Would they kill her, or would exposure to the ether do it? "I'll send word to Inej."

"She's already investigating leads." Nina held up a hand, silencing Kaz as he opened his mouth to question how, exactly, Inej could already be investigating leads if Kaz had just heard this information. Nina tilted her head toward the door and mouthed, Later.

Fine. Kaz would question why he didn't hear about this first once he was done beating the shit out of the financier. Get the information, ask Inej what she knows, and find Y/N. He snapped his mouth shut and angled his head, listening as the door to the roof creaked open. The metal hinges squeaked terribly, grating Kaz's ears and making Nina cringe.

The door creaked shut, and Kaz heard footsteps approaching the edge of the roof. Nina raised her hands, already feeling for the man's breathing. It came to her as naturally as wind to sails, and she started to curl her fingers.

Kaz held up a finger. Wait. He glanced around the side of the chimney and watched the man next to the decorative metal fencing along the roof's edge. It was rusted, and pieces flaked off as the man lit his first cigarette, inhaled deeply, then tapped the ashes off using the fence.

He puffed away, looking over the city, and Kaz lowered his finger.

As the man inhaled, Nina clenched her fist.

The financier choked on the smoke and dropped the cigarette from his mouth. His hands went to his throat, and he stumbled back from the metal fence. He hacked and coughed, tipping forward until he sank to his knees. As his lips turned blue, he swung his head wildly from side to side to look around for anyone who could help.

Instead, he found Kaz, who had no intentions of helping the man get back to his smoke break. Vengeance burned in those icy blue eyes, and the man gaped in fear like a fish pulled from the sea.

Kaz brought his cane down on the man's skull. The man's mouth moved like he wanted to cry out, and he slumped to the side onto the rough surface of the roof. Blood seeped down the man's temple, and a sick satisfaction ran through Kaz, fueling his wrath and setting him ablaze from the inside out. He hauled the financier back to his knees with a gloved hand on the man's collar, then started dragging him toward the teetering metal fence.

The man writhed underneath his grip, his hands going to Kaz's wrist and pulling, trying to pry his fingers away. But Kaz's grip was as unbreakable as his determination to bring Ketterdam to its knees until he found Y/N, and he had no problem destroying this man and this city if it meant making sure you were safe.

Kaz positioned the man so he hung partially over the fence, his face turned to the streets below. Nina released her grip on the man's lungs enough for him to breathe some air but not enough to scream or make much noise. The man went slack once he could gasp, but Kaz wasn't foolish enough to release him.

"I'm only going to ask this nicely once," Kaz hissed, leaning in so his voice was a terrible, dangerous whisper in the financier's ear. His eyes glinted in the setting sun, the icy blue color turning a sinister shade of orange as his irises caught the sun's fading rays. "Pekka Rollins paid off mercenaries recently. How much did it cost?"

Nina stayed behind the chimney, giving Kaz the space to work, but she peeked at the man as he gasped for air. His heart raced against his ribcage fast enough to make her want to wince, and his lungs strained with the effort to keep up with his panic. Saints, Kaz was trying to send this man into heart failure before getting any answers.

"I can't-" the man wheezed through blue lips, "tell you." His face throbbed as gravity forced his blood to his head, and his breathing trembled.

Kaz pushed the financier further over the barrier, which creaked dangerously under the man's weight. "You can, and you will," Kaz said. He jerked his chin toward the street below, filled with passersby on their way home for the evening or to the East Stave for some debauchery to relieve the workday's stress. "Or I just might lose my grip."

"He'll kill me," the man whimpered. He coughed, and his mouth tasted like copper. "He said he'd kill me."

"I think you're worried about the wrong person." Kaz kicked the metal fence, and the segment beneath the man buckled. The financier cried out as he hung over the alleyway, supported only by Kaz's grip on his collar. He finally seemed to realize that Kaz intended to let him hurtle off the roof headfirst if he didn't get answers, and he sobbed a quiet plea for help. Nobody looked up, the sound muffled by a twitch of Nina's fingers.

"How. Much," Kaz pressed. His arm was beginning to strain from holding the man up, and his leg was none too pleased with the exertion required to keep his weight steady on the roof's edge.

"Two million kruge," the man sobbed. "Mercenaries wouldn't accept anything less."

Kaz tilted his head. "Is he telling the truth?" he said too calmly, the question intended for Nina. He could feel her eyes on him, on his complete indifference to the man's desperation to survive. But this paled in comparison to what Kaz wanted to do in revenge for your kidnapping.

Nina winced, though Kaz's tone was outwardly neutral. She peered at his face. His expression bordered on bloodthirsty, and Nina swallowed. "Yes," she said softly.

Sometimes it was easy to forget how Kaz got his reputation, especially when Nina saw him around Y/N. He was always kind with her, as tender or gentle as a man with such sharp edges could be, and he never responded to her with anything other than a racing heart or caught breaths.

Kaz loved Y/N, whether he admitted it to himself or not, and Nina's ability to hear the signs made her forget that he could be like this. And he would if it meant keeping his Crows secure, his business intact, Y/N alive and safe.

Kaz surveyed the man's face, the tears in his eyes, and his moving lips as he murmured prayers to his saints. He considered Nina's confirmation of the financier's truthfulness, yet how easy it could be to throw this man off the roof and be done with it. It would be merciful compared to what Kaz wished he could do to this man for his role in your kidnapping, enabling Pekka Rollins to hire the mercenaries.

Chances are, the financier didn't even know your name. It wasn't in his purview.

Kaz clenched his jaw. This man's death could send a message and make it clear that Kaz would only do worse until he got the information he wanted. He could cause terror, drive the Dime Lions out of hiding and force someone to yield information. It was what Pekka Rollins would do if Kaz had inflicted the magnitude of pain that Rollins had.

His brother. His childhood. His Crows. His love.

He jerked the financier upright once more, and the man let out a sob that Kaz cut off as he shoved the man away from the roof's edge. The man rolled a few feet away and stopped at the bottom of the chimney, crying and mumbling prayers into his palms.

Kaz crossed over to him in two long strides and brought the blunt end of his cane down on the man's ribcage hard enough to fracture bone. Nina winced when she heard the crunch, pressing herself into the side of the chimney; the cold seeped from the bricks into her back, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Which group of mercenaries did Rollins need the money for?" Kaz growled. He moved the tip of his cane to an unbroken rib and leaned just enough weight on it that the man choked on another cry.

"The Dykhaniye," the man wailed. He'd given up on trying to conceal information from Kaz Brekker, who knew exactly what buttons to push to get what he wanted. "I don't know what he wanted with them." He turned his head to the side and spat to clear his airway, creating a mess of blood and tears down the side of his face and on the ground.

Kaz lifted his cane, and the man immediately tried to wriggle away from him as if he could get far enough to be out of reach of the crow-headed cane. "That wasn't so difficult, was it?" Kaz said. He tossed a wad of kruge at the man's battered chest, and the bills scattered across the rooftop on a light breeze. "For your trouble."

It was mocking, but he could have done much worse. If the financier had any sense left, he would take the money and get the hell out of the city before Pekka Rollins caught wind of his men breaking under threat from Kaz Brekker.

He turned and caught Nina's gaze. Giving her a curt nod of thanks, he spun on his heel and went for the door leading off the roof. She rushed to follow, sparing a short glance at the sobbing man next to the chimney. "You were right," he said quietly. It was the closest he would get to approving of her telling Inej of her suspicions before him. "Now, we wait to hear what Inej knows."

Your head snapped sharply to the side as Pekka Rollins cracked his knuckles across your cheek. Pain blossomed across your jaw, throbbing hard enough to rattle your teeth, and you bit your tongue to silence your cry. Every breath you took stung your lungs, and your chest struggled to rise and fall against the pressure of your broken ribs.

You fought to stay upright, forced to shift your knees against the hard ground without using your hands to balance. Your right knee scraped harshly against the stone floor, and the pain was worse than anything Rollins had done to you. It shot up and down your leg like a strong electric shock straight to your nerves, and it took everything you had to not let a sob of agony cross your lips.

Breathe. Let the pain out through your lungs. You forced a trembling breath in and out, trying to imagine the pain in your body turning to mist. You thought of the low clouds that lingered in Ketterdam during the summer, how they occasionally brought cool breezes along to soothe the sweating inhabitants of the city.

It had been days since you'd seen the sky, and thinking of Ketterdam's consistently gray skies brought you a unique mix of pain and comfort. What you would give to be under the clouds with the breeze on your skin.

If you got out of here alive, you would never again take the sight of the sky for granted.

When. When I get out of here.

"I'll ask you again," Rollins said, pacing before you like a predator cornering its prey. His hair drooped in his face, and the front of his clothes was stained dark with broth. There was a slice across his cheekbone from a shard of porcelain, and blood was smudged across his knuckles and fingertips. Yours and his. He looked nothing more than the scum he was, with any semblance of composure or pride wiped from his face as you refused to break under his fists. "Why did Brekker want those documents?"

You spat at his feet. Blood splattered the hem of his trousers and his polished shoes, but the wicked satisfaction wasn't worth a slap jerking your head to the other side. This time, a soft groan of pain slipped out. Your cheek throbbed, and you swiped your tongue across your dry lips as you panted. In. Out. Keep breathing.

You could do this. You could keep fighting long enough to make a plan. The mercenaries had long since left the two of you alone; all you had to do was get past Pekka, swipe the knife from his belt, and saw away at the rope binding your wrists. If they hadn't dragged you up a flight of chipped stone stairs and away from your cell, you would consider using a shard from the bowl you'd shattered; if you made it back down, you would be sure to pocket one. Use what you have.

Pekka leaned down and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him. "You're making this harder than it needs to be, lass," he snarled. "Perhaps I should have passed you over to the Stadwatch. You've killed a fair share of my men, and murder can be a serious charge if I want it to be."

"Then do it," you spat. Blood dripped down your lip, and you considered spitting it in his face. You didn't bother licking it away, unwilling to let him see how much the metallic taste in your mouth bothered you. "Why waste your time?"

"Because you're valuable to Brekker, stupid girl." Rollins laughed, a grating, taunting sound that sent a shiver down your spine. You flexed your fingers, wishing you could wrap them around his throat and strangle the sound out of his lungs. All of this is because Kaz poses a threat to his business.

But there had to be more. There had to be something Kaz hadn't told you.

No. Save the doubt for later.

Pekka kicked you in the ribs, knocking you back into the wall. Fiery pain rushed to your chest, and whatever air you'd gathered slipped past your lips in a soft wheeze. Your back ached from its collision with the stone wall. Everything hurt, and you weren't sure you could stand.

A bloody cough slipped past your lips, and tears welled up in your swollen eyes. You wished you could wipe them away, avoid showing Pekka Rollins how weak you were feeling. But you were powerless to stop them, and you had no choice but to lean your head back against the stones and squeeze your eyes shut. Stop crying. Breathe.

Breathing could only get you so far.

Pekka turned and slammed his fist against the heavy oak door keeping you inside this room with him. Inside this damn warehouse, from what you'd gathered on your straggling, painful walk up from your cell. You wished you had the strength to attack Pekka while his back was turned, but you could only bring yourself to open your eyes as the door opened and two of the mercenaries entered.

Sergei and Fjerdan Asshole. Just the people you wanted to see.

You glowered at them as they jerked you to your feet, and Sergei only gave you an unpleasant smirk. Another cough bubbled up in your chest as the mercenaries hauled you toward the door, filling your mouth with blood. You glared at Pekka Rollins as you passed him, and he looked back at you smugly.

"I can't wait until Brekker sees what I've done to you," he drawled, following you to the office door. "His rage will make it even more satisfying when I kill him."

When I kill him.

Something hot and red and destructive washed over you. Every ounce of pain in your body seemed to temporarily numb, yielding to the pure wrath burning beneath your skin. You would bear as much pain as Pekka Rollins gave you, the bruises and cuts and broken bones. But you would make sure there was nothing left of him, the Dime Lions, or Ketterdam if he went after Kaz; losing Kaz was a pain you refused to bear.

You looked over your shoulder at Rollins, piercing him with a simmering glare that would have made anyone else shrink back. "You have a spot of blood on your tie," you snarled. Then, you spat your mouthful of blood in his face.

Rollins reeled back with a roar of outrage, wiping away the blood but only succeeding in smearing it through his beard. A murderous look filled his eyes, but he didn't have enough time to act on it before the mercenaries shoved you out of the office and toward the dark stairs leading to the warehouse basement.

Inej darted up the stairs to Kaz's office, panting and shoving past meandering Dregs coming out of their room for an early breakfast. She swung around the corner and pushed open Kaz's door, nearly hitting Jesper. He jumped out of the way and surveyed her disheveled state, opening his mouth to, presumably, ask what happened.

She dropped a stack of papers on Kaz's desk and leaned against the chair across from his to catch her breath. "Straight from the office of Pekka Rollins," she gasped, holding her side. "The Dykhaniye are based in Zierfoort. They own every warehouse complex in the city as a front for their operations. That's where they took her."

Kaz immediately shoved his map to the side and started flipping through the papers, glancing up at Inej. "How? I told you not to risk it." He jerked a transaction list free from the stack, and his icy eyes scanned it for any precise information. Which warehouse, which side of the city, anything that might expedite their search for Y/N. "Jesper, the carriage. Now."

"On it, Boss." Jesper gently squeezed Inej's shoulder on his way out. She squeezed his wrist in thanks. "Good job," he whispered. He left the office, and his thundering footsteps rattled the floorboards as he moved down the stairs.

"Wylan staged a distraction. The grunts around the perimeter of the Emerald Palace had to go investigate an explosion on one of their ships in Fourth Harbor." Inej straightened up and searched Kaz's face. "I shouldn't have gone without letting you know, but she's my friend, Kaz. I can't sit idly knowing I could have done something to stop this."

"There was nothing you could have done," Kaz said quietly. He stood and rolled the papers up, stuffing them in the inner pocket of his coat. He met Inej's gaze, and she was relieved to find no anger there. None directed at her, anyway. "Pekka had this plotted out for months. They found servant stairwells that we thought were blocked off, and he hired the best mercenaries that kruge could buy."

Kaz didn't blame Inej or Jesper. He blamed himself entirely. I was the one who put her at risk. I let her become my weakness, and she's paying the price. He grabbed his cane and a pistol from some hidden spot beneath his desk and spun the latter in his fingers.

Inej examined Kaz's face, searching for any hint of a contradiction to his words. When she found none, her shoulders loosened. "I'll get Nina and Matthias. Wylan is already downstairs."

"Matthias and Wylan stay. They'll watch over the Club and the Slat until we return." Kaz grabbed his hat, stared at it for a moment, then put it back down. You were the last to wear it when you used it as a disguise to get him breakfast on his birthday. It reminded him too strongly of you, of his failure to say what he longed to say before the bank job.

You expressed your love for him so often and so carefully that he wondered why you woke up every day and still chose him, when he could barely tell you that he cared without choking on his past. Would you still choose him when all of this was said and done? Would you realize that he was at fault for this, that he was nothing more than a shell of a man, too haunted, too broken, too bruised, who brought pain to anyone who dared to get close?

Kaz blinked back to the present, pulling himself from the color of your eyes, the memories of his fingers clasping your favorite necklace around your neck. "Let's go," he said quietly, ignoring Inej's concerned look. She'd probably said his name a few times. He didn't care. "It's a day's trip to Zierfoort."

And he stalked out of the office, leaning heavily on his cane and pondering how it would feel to finally kill Pekka Rollins.

TAGLIST: @tonberry-yoda, @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r, @futurecorps3, @statsvitenskap, @sapphiccloud, @casualladyinternet, @d34drapunzel, @noctemys, @whitejxsmine, @so6, @franzelt, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @marlene-the-witch, @thestudiouswanderer, @lyjen, @rideacowb0y, @weasleybuns, @dal-light, @mariatpwk, @dreammgc, @elysian-chaos, @breadbrobin,@poppyflower-22, @halfofagayallofaqueer, @battleraven, @amarokofficial, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @poppyflower-22, @madnessinwrighting, @ponyboys-sunsets, @circus-of-thoughts, @empresspenguin, @mediocrestuff, @stonksman8, @alanis-altair, @thefandomplace, @alohastitch0626, @the-royal-paintbrush, @just-here-for-ff, @whos6claire, @jodiereedus22, @be-lla-vie, @despoinapav05, @arianyo, @willowpains, @geekmom3

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restinslices · 5 months

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Mortality

Jesper Fahey x Spouse (no gender specified) Word count: 2150 Summary: You and Jesper aged differently. You aged as any Otkazat’sya did. Jesper on the other hand is Grisha and ages much slower. As your mortality gets closer and closer, you and Jesper have a much needed talk. Wrote this on my phone at midnight😀

People could say a lot of negative things about Jesper Fahey.

He was a shit gambler, a flirt, a drunk, he didn't think, he could be selfish at times, he could give you a headache with one sentence, among other things that could make anyone go in the opposite direction.

But it was impossible to say he wasn't loving. Jesper held onto people and treated everyone like family, even when there were conflicts. There were plenty of times when you and Jesper would have a disagreement, yet he still looked at you like he'd both die and kill for you. Jesper could sometimes make promises he'd easily break for the right price. The promises he made to you though? There was no card game, no shiny gun, no heist, no amount of cash that could make him turn on you.

Jesper supposed that's how he got himself to where he was now and honestly? He wasn't sure he liked it.

Was it selfish to say apart of him wished you two never became something more or maybe that he never met you? Was it selfish to look at your aging body and wish he walked away and stayed away after The Ice Court heist? Maybe. He wasn't sure he cared though.

Aging gave him a tap on the shoulder, but aging slammed into you. That didn't mean you were unattractive in his eyes, it just meant your body felt the stings of aging. Bad knees, hips, shoulder pains, wrinkles, all that was normal and expected. Jesper practically looked the same as he did when you two met. You were closer to death but he felt like the true ghost; forever stuck in a single moment. No changes to himself, only to his environment and the people around him.

Or maybe even a time loop, but only for himself. Everyone else was free and moved on. Not him though.

Jesper didn't realize he was staring until you said something,

“A penny for your thoughts?”.

“What?”

“You're staring”

“Oh” Jesper said with realization, “an accident”. Partially true.

He smoothed out the blankets in front of him to distract himself but that worked as well as anyone would imagine. Your face was imprinted on his mind, and although Jesper could've just laid down and went straight to sleep, he knew it'd be all he'd see when he closed his eyes.

Jesper heard you close and set your book down, then felt your eyes on him.

“What're you doing?”

“Smoothing these blankets. They're quite wrinkly”

“Why?”

“Why? Why does anyone do anything?”

You sighed, “why won't you look at me?”

“I'm getting rid of the wrinkles on this blanket like I said”

“Because you can't get rid of mine?”. Jesper's hands stopped moving and he finally looked at you and another wave of sorrow hit him. Why did your inevitable death hit him so hard?

Maybe it was because you were the last one left.

Kaz, Inej, Wylan, Matthias, they were all gone by now. Matthias’ death was the first hit he received since his mom passed and as time went on the rest of his family, even if not by blood, passed on. Sure, he had Nina but Nina’s home was Ravka. Nina was more often busy than not and she was not the fondest of Kerch. Many times you suggested moving to Ravka for a “change of scenery”. He knew the truth though. You wanted him to get used to living somewhere else so he could be closer to Nina and not alone. You were the last consistent thing attached to his younger life and by some twist of fate, he'd be doomed to outlive majority of the people he met. He wondered if he did something awful in a past life to deserve this.

“You've gone quiet again Jes”

He shook his head. “I don't know what to say”

“Too much on your brain? Don't know how to get it out?”. He assumed you took his silence as an answer because next you said “just say whatever, even if it doesn't make sense”.

He took a deep breath then. It's not like you two hasn't talked about this before, but it was usually a small conversation that he'd slip his way out of with some dumb excuse.

“I have something to do”. “I'm tired”. “Let's go eat”. “I have to go write a letter”. The list went on and on. This time though he couldn't think of an excuse and with limited time, he knew he had to speak to your living body now instead of a tombstone.

“I don't think I'm ready to do this without you”

“Do what?”

“Live”. It came out breathy and quiet. He could tell he had upset you by how deep your frown was. Or maybe that was another sign of aging. He couldn't tell.

“I can't do it”.

“Yes you can”

“I can't”

“Jesper Fahey you can break into a Fjerdan Ice Court, escape, survive months at sea with Kaz Brekker, go toe to toe with every gang in Ketterdam and you still use the words 'I can't’?”. In any other circumstance he would've laughed and made some comment about how amazing he is. He didn't this time though. Nothing really felt enjoyable or funny anymore. Not when you could have some attack at any moment and be gone.

“You're beautiful,” he said. “Absolutely stunning. I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you”

“There's the stars and sea yet I’m the most beautiful thing you've seen?”.

He nodded. “Absolutely”.

“Is that why you're with me then? My charming looks?”

“You could look like all things wrong with the world and I'd still want you”

“Jesper the poet? I think I like it”. Your fragile hand held his and your eyes locked onto his. “You can live without me-”

“I can't”. The tears he had been fighting so hard to keep away finally slipped. He didn't bother wiping them away, too scared to let go of your hand. “I wanna be able to but I can't”

“Why?”.

“Why?”, he repeated. “I just can't”.

Your thumb rubbing over his hand soothed him for a moment, but only a moment. That calmness died when you spoke again.

“If this is hard for you, you can go. You don't have to see me like this”

“Where would I go?”, he asked with furrowed brows and a mix of hurt and confusion etched on his face.

You shrugged. “Ravka maybe? Make it your new home-”

“My home is here. With you”

“You'll have to find a new one when I go”.

His hand slipped from yours, frustration building in his chest. It all sounded so easy but it was only easy because you were the one dying. You wouldn't have to feel another part of you ripped away. You wouldn't feel anything anymore. He would.

He'd think about it almost everyday and a hole would form in his chest and pull him into this thick fog and within this fog he'd hear the future. He'd hear a heart monitor go flat. He'd hear your breathing become shallow before it eventually stopped. He'd hear his own crying. Yet you would come along and act as if everything was alright. You'd be calm and fine while he was breaking on the inside.

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”.

“What?”

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”.

“Stop”.

But you didn't stop. You repeated it again and again and he thought he must've been hallucinating and finally reached his breaking point. He covered his ears but you grabbed his hands and intertwined your fingers with his. You opened your mouth but he cut you off with a broken voice.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you don't understand you can't control this”

“I understand fully” he said quickly. “That's the whole problem. Can you stop being calm and show some sort of emotion for once?”

“What do you want me to do? To cry? To think about it and stress myself to a migraine like you do everyday?”. He hated how you looked at him then; with pity. It felt like with one foot in the grave, you'd always use the other to stay near him and soothe him and it made him feel selfish. “You wanna know how I feel?”. He didn't answer but you continued anyway. “I am terrified of death. Faith exists to calm us of this fear but honestly, I'm still scared. I don't know what's next. I don't know how it'll feel. I don't know if I'll see a light or if I'll be in darkness. I don't know how I'll go out and I don't know how it'll feel to take my last breath. I'm terrified but worrying about it everyday? That's not living. I'll be on my deathbed slipping away and all I'll think about is how I should've lived more”

“You are so stressed about me dying but honestly Jes? You're just making yourself live through the inevitable every single day. We should be loving each other now more than ever when we have the time. We're gonna get to my final moments and we'll both have regrets, the only difference is you'll have to live with yours”.

Jesper couldn't help but let tears fall from his eyes. He knew you were right and that he should be holding you close during this time, but he couldn't help but listen to the tiny voice in his head that drove him insane everyday. Everyday was a reminder that for some unknown reason, he'd live much longer. Years would pass and he'd forget your face and always have to look at pictures or letters to remember you. One day he'd even forget your voice. How long would that take? 10 years? 20? 30?

The more he thought, the more his breathing became erratic and his vision blurred. Blinking away tears didn't work. They'd just come back. You guided his head to your shoulder before your hand found its way to his back to rub circles on it. Jesper wasn't known to cry, but he cried. Hard. And you let him. When his breathing returned to normal, it wasn't because he was no longer sad. It was because he was exhausted. His eyes and nose had gone red by now and his face felt incredibly sore.

When he quieted down, you spoke again. “I want to love you while I still can but if you don't want to see what'll eventually happen… I’m… I'm willing to let you go”. It was hard for you to say. He could tell because of how quiet it came out. Were you willing to? Probably. Did you want to? Absolutely not. He didn't need to ask or look at you to know.

Jesper had a big choice to make. He stayed, spent the rest of your life with you and eventually buried you or he could leave and try to get a jumpstart at a new life. He wouldn't see age continue to eat at you and when your time came, he wouldn't be there. He'd be leaving you alone. He probably wouldn't know exactly when you died. Years would pass and he'd just guess that you were gone.

Jesper was ashamed of how long it took him to make a decision. Leaving seemed so good. The pain of watching you continue to grow old would be no more, but then he'd be left with another pain; the pain of never seeing you again. Of knowing he abandoned you when all you wanted was to hold him close. You had no family and no notable friends besides him and Nina now. You'd probably be found and with no one to identify you, who knew what would become of your body in Kerch. A body with no name. And he'd become a body with no home.

“I'm not going anywhere”. He finally lifted his head up to look at you and although he still felt that pang in his heart, he didn't look away and try to avoid your gaze. He just looked at you, mapping every detail of your face so he could look back and remember just how beautiful you were when you're gone.

“I am so going to miss you”

“Of course you will” you said with a small smile and you finally got a chuckle out of him, even if it was small.

You didn't have forever. You both knew you were on limited time and one day you'd be apart, but you both promised to love and cherish the time you still had together and maybe, just maybe, you'd see each other in the next life when the sun finally set on the both of you.

I am feral for this man in the most wholesome way possible. Legit just wanna hold his hand and hear him talk about dumb shit.

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