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marvelwomen-simp · 1 year

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Untitled | W.M

Summary: jealous!wanda(?

requested: nope

Warnings: not proofread, bad writing, bathroom sex, fingering, oral sex, dirty talk (let me kmow if I should add any!)

a/n: hii!! um, this just came out of nowhere xdxd enjoy!

masterlist

You were supposed to meet your girlfriend half an hour ago to go to class together but you had taken so long to get ready. You were sure Wanda would get mad. That always used to happen because whenever you were late she would start blaming you for not being on time because you were with someone else, which was not true at all.

"Excuse me, may I come in?"

Wanda was already sitting in her place with a very unfriendly face. Hearing a very familiar voice she looked up and crossed eyes with you. You greeted her with a sheepish smile and she looked at you with her best angry face and returned her gaze to her sheet.

I'm sure she didn't go looking for me because she was with her friend Miss-Captain-of-the-handball team making out in the bathroom.

Wanda thought with a snort as she finished doing the activities dictated by the teacher at the beginning of the class. At break time Wanda left the classroom without waiting for you.

"Hey! Wands! Wait up!"

You ran after her. For you were getting tired of being ignored by the redhead. You followed her to the bathrooms where you would surely end up cornered and scolded by her.

"Wanda, what did I do now?"

She turned around abruptly.

"Are you seriously asking, Y/N?" she slowly moved closer to you until their noses were lightly touching.

"I waited 20 fucking minutes for you like an idiot and you were probably making out with your 'friend' in the bathrooms" She waved her fingers as she named her girlfriend's friend.

"Wands, I'm tired of telling you again that Natasha is just a friend, I have no intention of cheating on you. You know I love you" You sighed. "I was only late because I wanted to look pretty for you."

You pouted a little and gently moved the girl just a few inches so she could get a good look at you. You were wearing Wanda's favorite dress and had done your hair the way she liked it.

Wanda admired your outfit.

"But Honey..." She cupped your cheeks delicately. "You always look pretty, you don't have to try to impress me." She kissed your nose briefly.

"Besides, everyone looks at you and I don't like them looking at what's mine" She said with a frown in a firm tone. You let out a laugh at the comment.

"Sure, I bet if I wear a garbage bag as a dress and no makeup I'll look good" You mentioned sarcastically.

"Obviously you'd look good, hush" You smiled.

"You know you're very jealous right? Let's see tell me something, out of all those guys and girls who were talking to me I chose you and I keep doing it for two years now. You should stop your insecurities now dear."

This time you stood on your tiptoes and placed a kiss on the girl's lips.

"Besides what's wrong with being looked at or talked to?"

She frowned again when she realized you mentioned her insecurities.

"I'm not insecure. What's more, I know I'm better than all of them. I just don't like people coming on to you with ulterior motives knowing you have a girlfriend." She pressed her lips together forming a straight line.

"God, I forgot how self-centered you can be" You rolled your eyes away from her.

"That's how you love me, honey" She winked at you and grabbed your waist pulling you back against the wall.

"We should get to class, they're about to start and I don't want to be late this time..."

"No, not yet. Give me a kiss first." She lowered her gaze to your mouth. "Why are your lips so kissable?" Shee asked moving closer to your mouth.

"No, no, stop. We already know how these bathroom kisses end. You end up wanting to eat me." You mentioned as you placed a short kiss on Wanda's lips. "Besides anyone can walk in and see us."

You scolded her even though you knew she was going to get away with it. Wanda frowned and brought a hand towards your jaw.

"I demand my kiss. Now." The hand she had on your waist moved down to the hem of your dress lifting it slightly to gently caress your thigh.

"God...I can't say no to you can I?"

You sighed with resignation taking the hand he had on your thigh preventing him from going any higher. Then she moved closer and with your other hand you grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her.

It was a slow but deep kiss, you could feel the exalted breathing of the other woman.

Wanda let out a small moan of discomfort when you stopped her hand. You continued to kiss slowly until air became necessary.

"Will you let me make you mine right now?..." Wanda asked as she began to kiss and leave small marks all over your neck.

"W-wands, we're at school..."

You could feel your neck filling up with reddish marks that you would surely have to cover up later.

"Stop, love, please..."

To your good or bad luck you heard some voices nearby making you react by pushing her away and then standing in front of the mirror. It had been a false alarm, the voices moved away from the bathroom.

Wanda slowly approached and hugged you from behind.

"So what do you say..." She asked bringing both hands under your dress to caress your bare abdomen.

"Can I make you mine?" She asked in a raspy voice before gently biting your shoulder. "No one's going to know if you don't make too much noise."

Instantly your body began to tremble reacting to the few caresses Wanda was giving you.

"Be quick."

You turned to kiss her. Wanda giggled over your lips then lifted you by your thighs and carried you to one of the cubicles.

"Believe me what I'd like most is for Natasha to come in and see how I make you scream."

"God...can you-can you leave Nat out of this?"

Wanda ignored your comment and left you on the floor. In one nimble movement she pulled off your dress leaving you in just your underwear.

"No bra...such a dirty girl...you knew I was going to want this, didn't you?"

"Fuck. We do it almost every day. At this point I'm thinking about not wearing anything underneath my clothes."

Wanda started leaving kisses and bites on your breasts ignoring your sensitive nipples.

Your panties were wet and you knew Wanda would be slow to give you the attention you needed, so your right hand went to your pussy starting to stimulate this area above the fabric.

"Honey, how many times do I have to tell you not to touch what is mine?"

With one hand she quickly took your hand with which you were stimulating yourself and with the other she gently pinched one of your nipples as punishment.

"Are you that desperate to stimulate yourself without my permission?"

She released your hand and ran two of her fingers over your wet center. "My God, you're so wet, love."

"Be quiet, for god's sake, don't do this to me you know how sensitive you make me by talking dirty to me."

You moaned between little gasps, though then you took the courage to approach her and kiss her passionately going down to her neck.

You knew that very soon you would be separated because Wanda didn't like you taking control of the situation.

"Sensitive I'm going to leave you down there from so many times you're going to cum."

She said letting out a gasp of surprise at your audacity to try to take control. But she quickly recovered and pushed you away.

"You know who's in control here, don't you?" She slowly pulled your ruined panties to the side and began to slowly stimulate you with two fingers.

"Y-you never let me take control, I- I bet I'd make you come so many times."

You teased her as you wiggled your hips looking to get even closer with her fingers.

"Shh, someday I'll let you take control" She gently pinched your clit. "But not today."

"Put them in already, I need them" You asked almost in a whisper. You hated asking your girlfriend for such things.

"Honey, I didn't hear you" She teased you playing with your folds.

"God, I hate you"

You felt her fingers gently move up to your clit and then back to her entrance. You were getting tired of her games so you pulled her by the nape of her neck and whispered in her ear in desperation.

"I said stick your fingers in my vagina, you asshole."

"I don't think that's any way to talk to your girlfriend when she's giving you pleasure, do you?"

She stuck two fingers inside you and began to move them very slowly, at a speed that felt like torture.

"You- god... you say worse things to me."

you let out slight moans, your legs trembled and your whole body burned.

"Damn, faster love" you covered your mouth with one hand.

Wanda smiled mischievously.

"I want you to beg me to do it."

She started making little circles with her thumb on your clit while leaving little bites your neck.

"Damn Wanda, I hate you..."

You moaned as you felt Wanda's fingers reach places no one but her could reach.

"Please" You started to beg. "Please mommy do it faster, move your fingers faster. Fuck."

Wanda's breath hitched when she heard you call her by that name.

"God, I love it when you call me that, baby."

She started to speed up the movement of her fingers trying to reach that perfect spot inside you to make you see the stars.

"Come on, darling, show me where it is..." She left a mark on your neck that was going to be hard to cover up.

As if you wanted to answer you let out a big moan indicating that there was that sweet spot, you had to cover your mouth with both hands and close your eyes tightly as she had already started to thrust more and more repeatedly in that place.

"So I told her it was wrong and..."

Shit.

That was Natasha. She'd gone into the bathroom and she was not alone.

You opened your eyes and looked at her pleadingly. You even grabbed her wrist to stop her from continuing to move her hand.

Wanda as soon as she heard that voice so irritating for her she broke away from your neck and looked at you with a big smile.

"I want you to moan my name as loud as you can and let her know you are mine." She whispered in your ear without stopping her hand movements "Come on, do it for mommy..."

Seeing that you didn't obey her she decided to get on her knees in front of you and start giving little kisses and licks all over your pubic area trying to warn you that if you didn't obey her she was going to force you to scream.

You didn't want to play this game, not now, but it was impossible to hold back a moan when you felt her tongue enter you. Your eyes widened like saucers when you heard Nat and her friend's laughter.

"Looks like someone's having fun...who could it be?"

Thank God they didn't know it was you, but you couldn't claim victory, if you didn't do what Wanda asked you'd be in trouble with her.

"Come on love, do it."

Wanda murmured against your center without ceasing the movements of her fingers or her tongue. She gently sucked your clit making you moan loudly again.

"If you don't do as I ask before you cum there will be consequences sweetheart."

You already knew what kind of consequences you would face and you didn't want to go through that but you also didn't want to moan for everyone to find out it was you in the bathroom.

"N-no. I-I won't..."

You couldn't push her away. The pleasure was too good to do so. In a low voice but audible to those outside you ended up moaning her name then releasing your juices into her mouth indicating that your orgasm had arrived.

Wanda happily licked the liquids that came out of you until not a drop was left. She left a small kiss on your little ball of nerves and stood up to reach the level of your mouth.

"Very good honey, that's the way I like it, you being obedient for mommy..."

She said in a medium high tone before kissing you in a possessive way but without losing that soft and affectionate touch showing all the love she felt for you.

You didn't even wait for the others to come out, you just got dressed and walked out of there with your face in a tomato, you could see your girlfriend's smile and that bothered you.

"Oh, hi Y/N/N" Natasha greeted you. Wanda just got an amused smile as a greeting.

Wanda's smile was wiped off her face when she saw the redhead's face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

She asked her with a frown leaving to wash her hands.

Hearing no response she returned to your side and began to walk to the bathroom door.

"Next time I expect an invitation from you guys."

You laughed at what Natasha said and walked out of the bathroom with Wanda behind you. You stoped dead in your tracks when you heard Wanda's comment.

"I am willing to accept that proposal if you want to"

I was thinking about making a part two, but I don't know how to start it jejej

Taglist: @cqrmelesbian @natashawhore @ilovemarvelwomen @florchuvila22 @androgynouscloudenemy @anothergirlwithmommyissues@jonasbizareworld @togrowoldinvlibrary @Atlas-nex

#a: wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen x reader

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letters-of-libertas · 29 days

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Energy to carry as a single childfree woman

Summary here

Be more self reliant

You dont have to do everything on your own but you need to be able to count on yourself because for the most part that's all you'll have even as you're around others.

Have more intent with actions

Time & energy is valuable. Where you pour these things into steer the course of your life. Give your time & energy to things that help you (and other likeminded women if you want). You dont have to analyse every action you take but occasionally check in with how/if the actions you're taking are helping to build a foundation for your life as a single childfree woman. Things like donating to female centric causes, improving yourself so you can give yourself (& other women) more, organising/engaging in female centric women only spaces - even if they're just online, goes a long way to set the scene. Even indulging in your hobbies. Dont waste your time on things that wont help you or your motives.

Be more resourceful

Contrary to popular belief this lifestyle isn't a walk in the park, there's a lot more you have to account for especially with a level of reduced support. Being able to adapt/improvise + think ahead to mitigate problems will serve you long term. Also generally building up your resources will make getting through hard times easier.

Living my truth > proving my truth

You dont need others stamp of approval to live this way - just get started ! Convincing others is a waste of time your actions (& results) will speak for you anyways.

Reduce giving benefit of doubt

I once saw a quote "giving others benefit of doubt has never benefitted me" and it rings so true. Giving people benefit of doubt rarely ever works in your favour, the red flags that are downplayed often come back to bite you when you least expect it so trust your instincts on matters. If something is off about something or someone; start backing up. Also pure naïvety is rare, people often know more than they let on so trust + act on your instincts on matters if something feels off.

Be proactive

Instead of just constantly reacting to everything around you; take action no matter how small, it'll pay off more than just outrage. Spend less time on social media reacting to the never ending evil of xys and spend more time building for yourself. Social media can be informative but it can also be an echo chamber that breeds reactionary politics which doesn't move things forward. Ik this is ironic because you're reading this on social media but I'm not saying get rid of it all, just reduce your time on it - particularly around reading & reacting to maIe evil. Focus on tangible things in your life you can control & build instead for yourself and womankind.

Invest in indifference

Taking everything to heart will hurt you. Constant anger/hatred to maIes & their bs is still centering them especially if all you do is react. I'm not saying completely ignore it as they target us & a level of awareness is important, but dont let these feelings consume you. Being indifferent will let you look at things at a face value & make more levelled judgement. It helped my mental health a lot in regards to the climate to grow indifferent, this includes towards maIe identified women and even other types of discrimination like racists, ableists, etc. All theory around maIe violence essentially boils down to them being dangerous parasitic terrorists to not be trusted. I move with this & go. I see through them, I dont argue or waste unnecessary emotional energy on them, I dont care for them to understand me, I dont care to prove them wrong (bc in the end it wont matter all you do is give them more cards to play with; this system isnt erected through logic but violence), I have other stuff in my life to focus on. I cant help the way the world is I can only focus on myself & my actions. Typically the best comebacks arise when you dont give a shit. It wont happen in a day but learn to manage your feelings. Be indifferent to what you cant control, flower what you can control. These comments from the female separatist subreddit explain this well.

Learn to prioritise

Contrary to popular belief we can't have it all. Some are able to do so because they've got wives or staff covering sectors of their lives so they can pour more time into other aspects of their lives like business or leisure. But you wont have that privilege rn so some things will have to take a hit. This is also why you need to be selfish with your time. Things like being resourceful to automate/delegate tasks will buy you time but it's still important to be selfish with your time because as you put time in one area, another area loses time. You need to pick what matters. You cannot give your time away to everyone; make time for yourself & your objectives.

Less theory more action

Having a basis of theory/belief is a good place to start but dont get stuck there.

It's okay to be wrong

Mistakes will be made. Experience is how we learn and grow. Go about your business unabashedly.

Obviously not an exhaustive list but these are some main points that come to mind.

#female separatist #female separatism #wgtow #blackpill feminism #wineauntmovement #many tend to shy away from the single childfree lifestyle bc the traditional map/railguards aren't there but thats the fun part of it #wine aunt #childfree

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thejakeslayla · 7 months

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╰▸ ❝ melting ice ❞ 001 ⎯⎯ waltz jump ,, a park sunghoon written series

synopsis; you put your everything into ice skating; blood, sweat and tears. unexpectedly you're being partnered with someone you despite, your number one rival - park sunghoon. together, you must overcome your grudges, navigate your differences and find a way to convey emotion on the ice. as you face this challenge, you discover hidden depths of him, leading you to question if there's more to your connection with sunghoon than just hatred and whether you can make this unlikely partnership work, potentially reshaping your career and the dynamics between them. little do you know that sunghoon never hated you.

You'd never refer to Sunghoon as your friend. Some people might assume that you two were close, maybe even dating. But the truth was, there was a significant amount of mutual hatred and competition between you.

You had known Sunghoon for as long as you could remember; he was a constant presence in your childhood. Pretending to like him was always a struggle. Your mom had always aspired for you to become a professional ice skater, and initially, you didn't warm up to the idea. At first, you were worried about the potential for injuries and the fear of embarrassment. However, after a year or two, you gradually adjusted to these emotions and began to work on it, with your mom being your biggest support pillar.

Sunghoon consistently outperformed you, which fueled your determination to be better than him and prove that his ego surpassed his actual skills.

You can still vividly recall how he would smirk, a glint of arrogance in his eyes, as he stood atop the podium claiming first place. It was as if he entered the rink with the foreknowledge that he would crush your dreams once more.

As you grew older, the situation became even more frustrating. You kept winning individual competitions when Sunghoon wasn't in the picture, but whenever he entered a competition, he always won.

God, how it infuriated you to see Sunghoon so self-absorbed, almost to the point of being egotistical. This only proved your belief that he didn't deserve any of his trophies.

Senior year arrived, and you had to shift your focus to your studies. What made you feel a little bit better with yourself was the fact that you always outdid Sunghoon in terms of grades, at least something, right?

It didn't take long for you to realize that your feelings toward Sunghoon were unhealthy, and your approach to the competition was equally detrimental.

You were now smoothly moving on the ice, headphones on your head. You contemplated whether it was worth changing your approach. After all, wasn't it a form of motivation? But each time you lost, it felt as if your entire being crumbled, like dropping a piece of ice and watching it shatter on the floor. You always felt as if you weren’t good enough, and even though your mom was your biggest supporter, she seemed to praise Sunghoon, saying things like, "Y/N, if you worked hard enough, you could be just like Sunghoon," or "Sunghoon executed the triple axel perfectly, why can't you do the same?"

It was emotionally exhausting and confusing, but perhaps you secretly admired Sunghoon. He made everything seem so effortless. Watching him practice, the sound of his blades scraping against the ice perfectly complemented his flawless execution of toe jumps and edge jumps, resembling the clips in an ice skating guide.

You hated how good he was – you finally realised. and maybe you could even like him if it weren't for his terrible personality. People who are both self-centered and highly skilled are truly frustrating, and Sunghoon fit that description perfectly.

Out of the corner of your eye, you detected movement and turned your head to find him. Park Sunghoon in his very much natural habitat, his hair messy, a simple hoodie and some sweatpants on. As you recognized him, you quickly averted your gaze.

Ten or fifteen minutes passed, and you and Sunghoon kept your distance on the ice. Suddenly, both your mothers entered the room, engaged in an animated conversation, standing shoulder to shoulder. Their friendship had blossomed because their kids shared a common interest and frequently competed together.

Isn't it ironic that their children couldn't stand each other?

“Y/n!”

“Sunghoon!”

You heard them calling your names, so you adjusted your headphones around your neck and skated toward the barriers. Sunghoon did the same, arriving there faster, leaning casually against the barrier. Your mom had an uncharacteristically broad smile on her face, which left you confused. She was usually quite serious and focused when watching your practice sessions.

"We've registered you both for another competition," Sunghoon's mom declared.

Sunghoon looked at his mom, questioning her decision. "What does this have to do with her?" he asked, tilting his head toward you.

"It's a pair skating competition," you observed Sunghoon, his face mirroring your own sense of dread.

"You've known each other for years," your mom chimed in. "We've never seen you perform together on the ice."

Sunghoon interjected, "But have you ever considered there might be a reason for that? I don't want to skate with someone; I've always wanted to be a solo skater, you know this."

You understood his feelings, not everyone wanted a partner in figure skating, especially when showing emotions during a dance was crucial for scoring. No matter what you did, you knew you couldn't convincingly convey those feelings while dancing with Sunghoon.

"Hoonie, you have no choice. We've already hired a coach, and he has choreography prepared," she told him. She then turned to you. "You both know how significant this opportunity is. It's the entry competition. If we all work hard, we can go even further."

And this is where your conversation ended, Sunghoon tried to argue further, but it was pointless since his mom stood strong with her argument that they already paid the coach. As you sat in the car with your own mother, you couldn't help but feel a sense of frustration.

How could you work with someone like Sunghoon? It wasn't just about disliking him; it seemed like he was genuinely better than you, despite you both being seniors. You searched on YouTube, watching videos of Sunghoon's skating. As you observed his only pair skating video, your focus was mainly on his dance partner. The skill, elegance, and ability to convey emotions in their performance, you couldn't match that. You could do it with anyone else, but how were you supposed to fake lovey dovey eyes towards Sunghoon?

Sighing and adjusting your headphones, you shifted your gaze to Sunghoon. You attempted to understand his style, discerning whether his moves were sharp or gentle, mixed or focused on a single style.

Little did you know, Sunghoon did the same as soon as he got home. He sat down and pulled out his phone, first venting in his friends' group chat and then clicking on the YouTube app to search for your name. He watched you, just as you watched him, his eyes fixated on your graceful movements on the ice. A loud sigh filled his room as he realized that your dance style was the complete opposite of his, and he would likely have to adapt to yours.

The next day arrived quickly, thanks to intense practice and emotional turmoil. You walked to the arena, hoping to have a moment to yourself to contemplate the situation. However, it seemed that someone had the same plan. You saw Sunghoon walking in your direction, and you met at the entrance.

Not even a ‘hi’, not even letting you enter first, what a gentleman.

You walked shoulder to shoulder, not exchanging a word. As you arrived, you both sat down on the bench to put on your skates. Suddenly, someone stood in front of you.

"Hello, guys," a warm voice made you look up. "I'm your new coach."

You glanced at Sunghoon, who clearly looked unhappy. "I've been working with young skaters like you for years, and I'll prepare you well for your upcoming competition. I've already done some research on both of you, and it appears that Y/n has more experience in pair skating. I hope you'll show Sunghoon how it's done," the coach said.

Sunghoon couldn't help but snort at the suggestion, though it was true. He had only one previous pair competition, while you had several under your belt. You didn't bother looking at him.

"Let me show you what I've choreographed for you," the coach said, stepping back a little and passing you an iPad. "Sunghoon, please come here."

Reluctantly, Sunghoon got up and sat down next to you, his shoulder pressed against yours. You played the video.

Within the first few seconds, you could already interpret the moves; it was as the male lead was in control of the female lead, perhaps protective and supportive, depends on how people looked at it; how they wanted to look at it. Next moves and dancers are synchronised, manoeuvring on the ice perfectly, ending the step sequence holding hands. another move, the female lead arched backwards gliding on one foot, while the male lead lowers her; backward inside death spiral. they perfectly transition into another step sequence.

Your jaw dropped when you saw the throw triple loop, a jump where Sunghoon had to literally throw you into the air. Neither of you had ever attempted it before, and you could tell by Sunghoon's open-mouthed expression that it was new to him too.

"Sir, I'm not sure if we can..." Sunghoon began to voice his concerns but was quickly silenced.

"I'm here to teach you how. It amazes me that both of you are seniors and have never attempted this," the coach stated.

And so it began. The coach left you both feeling disappointed when he announced that you needed to practice the throw jump safely first. One thing you and Sunghoon had in common was your preference for the ice over a small gym with numerous mats.

You disliked the feeling of Sunghoon's hands on your hips and how surprisingly strong he was. "Try a little higher, Y/n. You also need to use your legs. Sunghoon can't do all the work. Bend them a little," the coach instructed.

Your new coach was much stricter than your previous one, or maybe it was just that you were used to the old one.

After countless attempts, you finally succeeded in landing on one foot, which was met with a resounding clap of the coach's hands. "That's it!" he exclaimed, coming closer and patting both your backs.

You smiled, glancing at Sunghoon. However, your smile waned as you observed his expression. He didn't seem pleased that you both had accomplished something. In fact, he appeared annoyed. You made a mental note not to display any emotions around him.

As the day progressed, you found yourselves confined in the same room with Sunghoon, practicing tirelessly.

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#thejakeslayla #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enha x reader #enhypen series #enhypen x you #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon x you #sunghoon x y/n #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon angst #sunghoon series

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noxiatoxia · 9 months

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you must talk about hikakao...... ooooo y ou want to so bad ............

I DO I REALLY DO BUT IDK WHAT TO SAY .......... hmm well actually I have a Few thoughts. I was thinking abt kaoru bc i am always thinking abt him sadly, and something i think a lot of people fail to realize is kaoru is actually quite selfish in his own right. a lot of people (and even myself in certain instances) portray kaoru as being exceedingly selfless or having no self esteem, which i dont think is necessarily the case, at least not straight-forwardly. Like, Kaoru is pretty far from selfless when it comes to others, it really is only like that with Hikaru. even then, he is only "selfless" when he deems it beneficial for his brother. for example, giving up haruhi so hikaru can spend more time with her because it would help hikaru grow as a person. but in that same regard, Kaoru is really selfish and self-centered in that he thinks he is sooo much smarter than his brother. like, he thinks he has it All Figured Out and thus only his vision of the future and what is "good" and "bad" could possibly be the "right" one. Cuz of this way of thinking, thinking he knows things everyone else doesn't and he "sees everything for what it is" (cough carriage cough) means he not so subtly dictates what HE feels hikaru should/shouldn't be doing. like he wants hikaru to grow up and move on not because it is genuinely the best thing for hikaru, but because KAORU thinks it's the best thing for hikaru, and so he is going to push hikaru in that direction without hikaru's consent bc kaoru thinks he knows what's best for his brother more than hikaru himself knows. which brings me to another interesting point, kaoru is EXTREMELY possessive. we all talk about how possessive hikaru is (cuz he is) but kaoru is arguably a lot more creepy about it bc with hikaru he makes his intentions blatantly clear (he's kinda surface level honestly) while kaoru's doing all these calculations and actions with hidden motivations to micromanage his own brother. kinda fuckin weird when you think about it. of course he's doing this bc he thinks it's helping hikaru or w/e. but i can't help but see a twisted level of irony in the fact that kaoru fears hikaru leaving him, and so his solution to this issue seems to be....proving HIMSELF to be the catalysis in hikaru leaving him (aka nudging him along the path of independence) like idk maybe it gives him a feeling of control or fulfillment.

which actually ties into another point ive been thinking about; i do think a lot, a LOT of kaoru's actions and fears (COUGH THE CARRIAGE COUGH) tie into him feeling like he has no control over anything. Fearing his friends leaving him, his brother leaving him, like this guy acts like he has no control over anything and i can't blame him. ouran, for being primary a comedy, does give some rather insightful depictions on different types of dysfunctional families and how it affects the children in them, with the hitachiin household's brand of dysfunctional being child neglect. I can't blame kaoru for feeling like everything's out of control or unstable in his life when he never had a stable life to begin with. i mean, not having any sort of parental figure in your life WILL make everything feel uncertain and loose. and then the only semi-qualified parental figure ended up betraying both the twins' trust and ditching them. i can eeeeasily see how this would forever instill a sense of lacking direction and control in kaoru's life, pushed further by the fact that he's gotten it into his head somehow that hikaru is more important than himself (not a manga fan personally but kaoru does legit flat out say in the manga, according to the wiki, that "hikaru is more important" than himself. so.)

and like. if you're a guy who's ONLY stable thing in his whole life has been his twin brother who he feels inferior to, and is slowly "realizing" that that very brother is going to "have to move on" one day? no yeah i can TOTALLY see kaoru adopting this very, very controlling mindset of "helping hikaru" to grow up just to feel like he has control in this otherwise hopeless situation for him. honestly it's really fucking interesting to think about and i have no clue if the author intended for it to go this deep but damn.....i love his fucked up brain.

and rounding on a point i said earlier, about how i don't think kaoru necessarily has "low self-esteem" in the traditional sense, what i mean is I don't think kaoru is a "i hate myselffff" guy, i mean without reason. as it stands in canon, i dont think kaoru regularly thinks "i hate myself" or "im worthless" or shit like that. what i DO think he thinks is "hikaru is more important than me" (not better, which would be more subjective, but more important, like it's an objective hard fact) or "my friendships are time-sensitive" (in regards to the host club). And i think this IS low self-esteem, but it's a very passive and harder to detect form of it. Kaoru puts himself below Hikaru, not cuz he thinks he's less deserving than Hikaru, but because, intrinsically, Hikaru is just "more important" and that, whether Kaoru means to or not, is going to UNDOUBTEDLY shape how he thinks of himself since he's basing his own importance in comparison to somebody who is "more important". Likewise, his constant fear of losing his friends, again likely caused by his upbringing + some undiagnosed anxiety disorder, can easily lead into feeling worse about yourself since the ability to create and maintain friendships and connections is often tied to someone's sense of self-worth. (I mean, you've heard of how old cartoons or PSAs or whatever refer to bullies and other "low life" people as just unhappy people with "no friends" and the like. this is just a fucked up perception a lot of society holds, that having "no friends" is a red flag.)

All of this eeeeasily tells me kaoru will, if he hasn't already, develop some sort of depressive disorder or mindset, especially if he keeps pushing hikaru away from himself (at least before, he was simply "less important than hikaru". Because without the guy you're directly comparing yourself to constantly, you're no longer second best, you're just nothing.)

wow this got off topic from hikakao to just kaoru character study really quick. let me round things back.

it's no shock hikaru and kaoru's relationship is an odd one given everything they've been through, and it'd not be so odd either that this crippling co-dependence causes kaoru to view hikaru like a partner of sorts. In cases where he genuinely falls in love, or more aptly, realizes he wants Hikaru in other ways that are not-so family-friendly, this would cause huuuge issues to his already fragile mindset about how his world operates, and he'd be quickly suppressing these desires likely out of a worry for hurting hikaru in the process.

this is also where the selfish thing comes back into play, because what if it was HIKARU who initiated it first? He wants to take their relationship to the next level, he wants kaoru like this and he knows kaoru wants it too, but kaoru keeps saying no, we can't, it'll ruin everything, it'll hurt you...

like kaoru would have likely agreed if this was pre-episode 21 or whatever, but past that general time area, he becomes a lot more obsessive with this idea of "moving on" and so I think he'd turn Hikaru down out of the idea of "the greater good." and even if Hikaru insists he knows what he wants, what makes him happy, Kaoru would still say it's not like that, it won't ever be like that, they can't do this, and Hikaru would definitely be the only one able to get through to Kaoru, because 1 it's Hikaru and 2 he's blunt as hell, so he'd probably snap and be like "Stop being so selfish and making my own decisions for me! If you want us to be independent so bad, don't I at least get the freedom to make my own mistakes?"

bc like, I highly doubt Kaoru is even cognitively aware of his controlling behavior. He does the things he does because it feels like he has to. And he probably had no clue how insanely suffocating he was being until Hikaru said that.

fuckkk that's what i love so much about hikakao right there y know. yes i love their toxic codependent swag and how insanely, well, insane they are for each other. but the idea of them growing up, becoming independent but STILL choosing each other time and time again, this time not out of necessity but out of genuine choice just because they love each other that much?? fuckkk.........fuuuck.......... win. win.

#;noxiatalks2ya #THIS GOT SO FREAKIN LONG SORRY #you know me #gotta do my kaoru character study once per week #hikakao

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 months

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thinking about how of course billions is about people trapped in eternal battle world, and trapped because they won't ever exit, and don't want to because that's the only way they can define their idea of themself or like move through life, to the degree they have to just create or find another battle if one ends or they don't have enough going on at once or they're unhappy about anything & can only respond to that the only way they'll respond to anything: finding someone to consider a target to Defeat & being like nice, i'm so competent & active as a person, so with any other issues in my life, i'm sure it's not my fault at least

and it's been clear that to be someone at the Center of the show means needing to be inflexible enough to never leave that life, which also probably means never engaging in genuine self-reflection besides like, fuming in distress for 5 sec & then immediately searching for blame for someone else, or calling up your designated moral supporter who'll tell you you're upset b/c you're very complex & sympathetic & maybe if you do [xyz] you'll be able to Keep Winning, so like, don't worry, we'll never get too off track here. you have someone like connerty who cares so much about playing by the rules ft. ethics, but he was also someone completely inflexible who would give a shit like "ha ha you broke the law" and be Defeated b/c like yeah damn you do got him in that situation. he may then have gained the flexibility to throw a punch when he's already imprisoned but he's still just gotta retire & pursue some completely different goals

this in contrast with like, what a coincidence (surely not) that the more flexible characters are the ones who also do introspect & reflect & genuinely think about & question themselves ever, & how even beyond that, being in this world of people who overwhelmingly are thee opposite & aiming for a static sense of self & thus strategy for navigating life & all interactions & situations, the more reflective parties also tend to accept both Blame & the fruitlessness of pushing for more/different/better from the people & relationships & situations they're amongst. those willing to take on responsibility at all surrounded by people casting all of it off, always, w/the former already primed to take blame & the latter primed to be looking to find the blame in anyone else, a powerful mismatch....which allows the flexible parties to also put up with shit for longer lol like if they got fed up that quickly or recognized the dead-end here they'd just leave the show lol. like wow can't believe taylor spent their whole life already stuck having to deal with someone who's so very much like these bullshit central men & those trying to emulate them, & perhaps also then have a lifetime of experience extending endless patience & sympathy with little to no expectations for more from people who put up with such a bullshit man & his effects on everything around him, like, what do you mean taylor's mom hasn't seen them b/c douglas didn't want to see them b/c he wasn't yet motivated enough to have to exercise begrudging shows of basic respect. whilest sure seems like taylor felt more concern & basically stated their responsibility re: trying to make their relationship with their dad work / basically take on the task of making his life work for him according to his sense of himself (genius! who deserves the recognition thusly!) and doesn't seem to take on this role re: their mom, who nevertheless is just presumed to move closer to them along w/douglas. and here's taylor never truly putting their foot down re: wendy, no matter what, able to have no real positive expectations in how wendy treats them or thinks of them, but also always able to extend sympathy / decent treatment themself

thinking of like team ben out here as the Nicer axe cap or mpc people who also happen to be people absorbing the L's, blaming themselves for being at the bottom of the hierarchy & being subjected to the always negative treatment doled out to them accordingly, and, winstonesquely, still generally like extending genuine gestures of amicability, efforts of constructive actual communication, etc, & this being shut down & likely punished by all the people around them who won't handle that kind of thing. that Of Course nobody's actually supported around here, like, at best they'll get some kind of "well you're actually talented & valuable :)...." (so why aren't they already treated in a way such that they're aware of this?) "....so just have more confidence already god!" wherein (a) again that just means it's Their Fault that they're having a miserable time at the hands of others & (b) their having "confidence" doesn't really mean like, an emotional buffer between their sense of self-esteem & the message of inferiority in how they're treated, it has to mean externally acting different in some ways, more like A Winner, more like everyone else. the limits of ben trying to sometimes be a buffer for tuk as that kind of friend/mentor role, where either it simply fails or ben's Help is more unilateral "correction." that generally only any increase in aggressive hostility gets them anywhere, and really not that far.

the way dollar bill could always act however he wanted & they could always clean up his messes / save him from himself / just flatout blame other people for what dollar bill did to them or someone else; success in being a mini axe in that way for sure. dollar bill going off the rails over his literal dollar bill & that's not a problem, he's validated b/c he's upset, & b/c rudy knew he'd be upset it's really all rudy's fault....who just so happens to be more of a loser, what with his glasses & possible masturbation ever and all. whilest even when dollar bill is like every season being shit at his job & life, well, just find a loser to trounce while everyone ignores this, cheers you on, takes on responsibility for fixing things for you, blames the person targeted probably. dollar bill couldn't even do in office transphobic hate crime physical attacks, or that but while yelling the r word at the autistic guy he's already harrassing & threatening, without it being really basically the target's fault, & hey, as long as no investors are watching. and we're still dragging dollar bill back to the office b/c uhhh yeah!!

& then of course there's winston, who, like a loser, says things in real efforts for real communication with others, that they winningly can only bring themselves to respond to as "he's not allowed to talk, that's out of line, i have to punish/deny this to reassert our respective status" except for, sometimes, taylor actually communicating in turn, or even simply receiving the information. winston in a duo with the very winning & worthy rian, being something of a quasirival for 5 seconds but even during then, and since, trying to be amicable to establish an actually positive dynamic, trying for actual communication, engaging flexibly & actively based on her feedback & her terms & etc to try to find some more success; versus rian completely inflexible, unwilling to respond to efforts to communicate, unwilling to have an actual relationship with any flexibility & genuineness in turn, or see winston as a person of course, and engage with real emotions. which is hardly an exclusive response of hers, like, everyone else is just the same, she's just also the one interacting with him more often and personally bullying him & standing next to him & immediately responding with clear contempt when he tries things like earnest expressions of "hey rian could you not do what you just did b/c it makes me feel like shit, probably b/c that's what you're trying to do" and "hey that was cool what you just did b/c it makes me feel like—" b/c like, what a loser. real winners cannot handle engaging with another person as a person. when you can just make up & stick to a narrative about "oh but i don't hate winston, who i feel is inherently beneath me. i wouldn't wanna feel bad about killing him, not when i could feel fine about administering more of a death by a thousand cuts with some other people helping out & hey maybe it was their cut that did it after all....but also if you're like 'pwease' then eh sure" or that winston's got a lesser inner existence anyways, some classic dehumanization, no complexity there, & hurting him isn't real, & it'd never be you in his position anyways! especially the more you're buying into "yeah i'm more of a person / more deserving / more real & sympathetic & correct than him :)" & being cheered on as you act that out. pretty cringe of winston to be earnest, flexible, openly trying & wanting & needing things, sounds bad & silly. unlike the winners around him who really cannot handle him or any of these things about him. of course near equivalent in loserness, tuk, is the person with the realest most amicable relationship with him. both of them too incompetent to realize their mutual failings in this, ha ha, real winners are repulsed & fleeing & can't handle a basic exchange with either of them. and the imbalance re: how little others are willing to give them in interest, consideration, time, words, etc, while they're always trying Too Much re: the disinterested others, totally proves their unworthiness

winston and tuk always having to stay at the bottom of the hierarchy, winston only able to be shitted on even as he extricates himself, ending up surrounded by people who will only act "correctly" according to their superior roles & this mf wags only processing anything as "did that reinforce my being a correct/winning person???" & only responding by trying to reassert to others how much of a winner they are, which requires establishing a loser, and crushing them. winston having recognized / gotten fed up with a bullshit scenario & had realistic expectations of those around them & spent those years being treated like shit yet never crushing an enemy to restore his ego & also spent those years trying to communicate and work with others and share actual info and make actual connections & now independently choosing to make a big shift in his life so that things can be different? is definitely the contemptible loser here while everyone else looks very good faffing around for an episode getting some temporary ego boosts & being very "correct" in every response to winston, even pointing out that rian even noticing something genuine & positive from winston in the absence of it anywhere is first & foremost incorrect, which rian will Also immediately drop in the face of that "well yeah it's more correct to prioritize Anything else. like that he's pathetic & mpc 5ever" like wuh oh rian being doomed from 5x08 "time to embrace acting more correct now" & being truly inflexible from that point on, never had a moment of conflict not resolved by [ignoring that] &/or again just getting someone more correct to declare how it'll be answered. taylor at their most flexible and Taylorest and most juxtaposed with central men & static ossified "winners" when they are also at their best in engaging with winston. taylor Like winston & vice versa in so many substantial & interesting ways, despite their relating to / sympathizing with / devoting much more effort & interest to people more like the central men. that here we are, when taylor might have to give up on Being A Winner, someone who'll walk away with status & resources & a seamless transition into some established business foundation, to really get the wins that matter, against pince, &/or to clock out of a sunk cost factory, &/or to not have strangled every part of themself that can be in conflict with this general situation into eternal dormancy. don't You dare blame latency lol, the taylor who gets to exist outside the conditional "well i guess you're a winner who's very useful to me, like dumping work on you & blaming you if it goes awry. and you can act like a Real winner in the ways that really matter (crushing people)"....is also a taylor who can be rejected & shut down & shut out & have their value denied & be treated shittily despite even knowing they'd be / are good at this shit, superlatively even, & could never feel okay just being regarded as a tool stashed away at someone's disposal. & Has been treated shittly & is liable to accept blame, unilateral responsibility for other's selves & feelings & actions & lives, & marinate in self-loathing. while people who refuse any introspection, questioning, responsibility, awareness, etc, & refuse to handle the least of genuine interactions/relationships with others as real people, are glad to scoff at them & dismiss them & imply or assert their superiority, like, wow have You got a lot to learn, or maybe you can't b/c you're inherently inferior. all just like re: winston!

tl;dr shoutout to the flexible characters who like can & do reflect & change things up actually, just so happening to always be Losing for this in the [only way to win is not to play] arena of fake winners seeing if they can consider themselves superior to everyone else & only even possibly correct always & forever, in the pyramid scheme of social hierarchy & also capitalism

#real winners quit! it's winston #society if rian Wasn't quickly boxed in & given the ''prominence'' of being Used for other characters #and where we could more truly have this like triumvirate of seeing yourself in both the other two parties in tmc lol #almost a similar fate re: lauren showing up Worthily Yet Zanily! then Most offbeatness falls away / dating is in the bg #& she's mostly Around & doing general [just competent things] But she was also flexible enough to do things Wrong actually / be doomed lol #which we Knew b/c of the relationship that billions would only eventually crush as the Cost of xyz....#rian's offbeatness mostly gone too; ''what am i gonna do next!'' Conveniently/contradictorily; going Bazinga; snark instead of aggression #general [just competent things] that'll last until ppl quit last minute; if they do. she started out secretly pretty inflexible already #& is really locked in by now; very similar to wendy who also never really considered ditching her life of ''i love to feel like i'm toying #w/ppl's lives & enabling some mf with more power'' & really isn't that different from prince; who tf else isn't also totally inflexible #team ben's endurance come from what insulation / teamwork they can find w/each other & just staying out of the way really #& also just the writing like ''of course they can & will stick around for years despite how they're treated. bit of Loser Feelings as #Lesser Feelings after all b/c haha i mean come on they may be nice but do they seem Epic to you?''#which is just as true / even more so re: winston. until he; in another [the Actual winner's move]; finally leaves #and gets like the most bass boosted [WHAT A FUCKING LOSER] treatment on his way out b/c what else could or would anyone do #winston billions #anyways he & the Loser Nerds like him have so much more maturity & flexibility & allowed capacity for actual growth lol. cringe comp!!#and this may be at all on purpose Of Course. show's aware central ppl are peak shit & intractible. show also does think winston's a loser #&/or is certainly trying to have their cake and eat it too with him and like tuk as well & even to a degree w/e goes on w/spyros etc etc #and Illustrating a lot of the ''deserved'' aspect through static inflexible Assumed Universal Facts abt what seems wrong & unworthy #like fucking yourself literally! objectively Bad. having glasses. knowing the diff b/w a vagina & vulva. not being ''''attractive''''#[jumpscare of Blaring Tangent dialogue abt that all overlaid on itself into 1 second of 9000 decibels]#taylor is also Flexible re: philip who is Flexible re: them in turn. definitely Something and Promising as has been established lol #visit taylip hq nothingunrealistic.tumblr.com for so much more. and this blog for [thinking abt winston] hq in turn. covering ground

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bulldyke-rider · 2 years

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Did you ever watch the animated tv series Daria? In the first episode, cynical sarcastic Daria and her bubbly popular image-obsessed younger sister move to a new city and have to take a psychological evaluation at their new high school. Daria gets put into an after school program for teens with low self-esteem. Later she quips to her parents on the ride home, "I don't have low self esteem. I have low esteem for other people." I'm glad I saw this rerun so young because it helped me articulate my issue when I was put in therapy as a self-harming teenager. I had a lot of anger. I felt helpless to influence my circumstances and just felt trapped and depressed, in an underfunded "inner city" public school which didn't have the resources to educate us, around classmates I didn't fit in with. I really needed some guidance on how to change the situation I was in, maybe some recommendations for what groups to join so I could make friends, some direction towards college. But instead it was all about how to feel better about myself. I like myself. Back then, I suffered from teenage arrogance I was smarter and better than most people around me. I have good intentions and a lot of ambition, just aimless ambition. I didn't need to be convinced about what I deserved. I already knew I deserved more than the situation I was stuck in. An adult worth their salt shouldn't known how to use that to motivate me to take an active interest in making something of myself, look to the future, work harder at something that matters. But I struggled longer into adulthood because everyone wanted to talk about self esteem and I just figured they were full of shit. Because I had enough self esteem to think I knew better when other people didn't.

We know teenage girls feel angry about the injustices against their sex. We don't all mope around hating ourselves. And the downside is how this follows us into adulthood, into professional settings. They talk to women as if we're all afraid to negotiate raises and all experience imposter syndrome. It's infantilizing. We know from studies women who ask for raises are more likely to be denied than men, because male bosses believe men need more money as providers and other outdated stereotypes about men and their families.

Okay, you're so right.

Like, there are a lot of women and girls with just insanely low self esteem. I've run into so many. So so fucking many.

But people take that and apply it to all of us who are struggling even a little bit. And I think it breeds self esteem issues to be told you have low self esteem over and over. It's similar in concept to being called confident all the time and how it's code for ugly. "You don't love yourself" sometimes sounds like code for "I see you as lesser"

Idk, a lotta people think I have some idea about myself that I'm special and think differently from everybody. But I know there are a ton of people out there like me. It's just we don't get the center stage when it comes to talking about mental illness. And we're told we think differently than we actually do.

And so we're trying to navigate our own healing around being told to learn how to love ourselves and forgive ourselves. Bro, forgive myself for what? Love myself how? I don't see myself as separate from myself. I don't see myself as something I can love or hate.

I'm so far past learning why I do things, learning why I think things. I wanna know how to feel better. And no one wants to give me an answer. People just wanna convince me I'm self hating.

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squiddokiddo · 2 years

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Your boi Gordo for the ask game! ^^

Hi thanks for asking, sorry for the late reply.

My boi Gordo, ok.

💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛

First impression:

I like this one, idk why I like this one but he's my favourite. It's a good job he's T4's pilot because I already decided that she's my favourite Thunderbird.

Impression now:

Gordon has been a staple in my life for a long time now, he has been a source of comfort through my most difficult times, thunderbirds has been my safe space since I was 12 with Gordon being right in the center of it. His sunshine has helped me battle abuse, neglect, trauma, mental illness, suicidal thoughts and self harm. I'm always able to seek some comfort from this dork when I can't find it anywhere else. (Which probably sounds a bit sad and cringe but whatever)

He's my favourite character, I absolutely love him to pieces. He's such a goofy sweetheart, all I want to do is give him a great big cuddle.

Favourite Moment:

You're asking me to narrow down only one favourite moment?? I'm going to list a couple because I have many favourite moments.

•His first rescue in Ring of Fire.

This moment solidified his position as my favourite character. I also love the lighting effects in lab scene, yes.

• Comforting Ned in Under Pressure and Aiden in extraction.

Gords has this natural talent of keeping others calm, he is understanding and never pushy or judgemental of other people's feelings and I love that about him.

•Up from the depths

Gords was an absolute badass in part one and in part two was the rebuild of Thunderbird 4 and all the emotion that went with it. You can really see how much he loves T4, he was absolutely crushed (pun intended) that his 'Bird was in that state. Poor squid. ( ´:︵:`)

•Babysitting Tom in Icarus

This one shows off his sweet and caring side and shows him being a responsible big bro figure. I like how he's also never critical of Tom's shyness and is only ever supportive towards him, as someone who's anxiety makes them clam up and go quiet, the way Gordon treats Tom is a great example of how to help out someone who's anxiety is getting to them.

Having that metaphorical or physical hand to hold for support can also be super helpful.

Idea for a story:

Uhh I'm bad at these.

I'm going to go with a Fuse redemption arc that is kick-started with Gordon saving Fuse's ass and Fuse having all these intense conflicting emotions about it.

Surprise that Gordon would save him after how he hurt him, confusion as to why would he want to rescue him, guilt because he feels like he didn't deserve to be rescued, gratefulness because his life was saved, fear because what if the Hood finds out? What if IR has ulterior motives for sparing his life?

Fuse then breaks down and apologises for his actions and begs IR to help him as he can't take anymore of the Hood's abuse and he can't go back to being under the Hood's control.

Virg is sympathetic but wary and Gords just gives Fuse a hug, telling him that he forgives him and that they'll protect him and find him a safe place to go.

Unpopular opinion:

I don't think Gords would like alcohol that isn't flavoured, he probably only drinks the fruitiest ciders and cocktails with swizzle-straws and cute little umbrellas. Also like I said with Scott and his drinking habits, because of his job Gordon can't afford to get even the slightest bit tipsy let alone be a drunken party animal, plus I think he's responsible enough to not let himself get flat out hammered.

Outside of fic I'm not all that keen on the scene in City Under the Sea where Kayo pulls off a move in Thunderbird 4 and Gordon's like "Wow I didn't even know it could do that". Not only does it present Kayo as a Mary-Sue kind of a character but more annoyingly, it presents Gordon as being clueless in his own field of expertise.

Favourite relationship:

I think probably his relationship with big bro Virgil, the two of them are so obviously close and they care about eachother so much.

Gordon and Parker are fun and they make an unstoppable team, I kinda feel bad for Gords though because Parker likes to give him a hard time for no reason. Gordon is the only Tracy brother that Parker doesn't call "Mister/Master/Sir" unless Parker wants something from him or is being sarcastic.

The poor boy is doing his best Parker, give him a break!!

Favourite headcanon:

Gordon suffers from PTSD after the hydrofoil accident, I know I've said this one before but I feel like this headcanon is important.

His PTSD is manageable and he has made massive leaps and bounds in his recovery but there are certain things that trigger him.

•Certain brands of disinfectant that were used in the hospital he stayed at and the places he did physiotherapy. The family completely avoid using anything that smells like those cleaning products in the house, in the infirmary or on the 'Birds because the scent sends Gordon into an emotional spiral.

•Certain brands of detergent and washing powder, for the same reasons above.

•Being a patient, he's way more comfortable getting treatment from his brothers or grandma than going into hospital,the idea of having to go to hospital send him into a blind panic, he's been known to hide injuries just to avoid going there.

On the other hand though, he's perfectly ok with being the caretaker and treating other people for injuries or administering medication and painkillers. It's just being on the receiving end that bothers him.

•Despite hating hospitals, as long as he isn't the patient the panic element goes away. Hospitals make him feel uneasy but he'll brave going into a hospital to visit or look after someone else.

•For a long time after the accident, being poked on his lower back without warning would send him into a bit of a shock response and he would freeze up. Over time this response has gotten less and less intense but his family still avoid touching that part of his back unannounced.

💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛🌟💛

Yeah I hope this is ok, I'm sorry it's so long, I could ramble on about Gordon for hours.

✮✮✮✮✮

Scott

Virgil

John

#thunderbirds are go #gordon tracy #character headcanons #character asks #tw alcohol mention #tw suicide mention #tw self harm mention #tw medical #ptsd mention #mental illness mention #tw abuse mention #uniwolfcorn #sfw interaction only

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voice-of-barsoom · 2 years

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Fictober Prompt "Nobody warned you about me?" Pacific Rim AU

(Featuring @tangleweave 's Phil Coulson, with permission.)

Pan Pacific Defense Force / Los Angeles Shatterdome Jaeger: Ares Stingray Pilots: Dejah Carter (hiatus), John Carter (deceased) Status: In the final stages of refurbishment after a combat with category IV Kaiju, Ravatra, wherein Pilot John Carter met his end, ripped from the cockpit mid combat.

~~~

[ Personnel evaluation required. Jaeger pilot in previous good standing is experiencing psychological distress and exhibiting self-destructive behavior after the death of their co-pilot. Asset has decades of experience and would be a grave loss of institutional knowledge and skill should she be forced to retire. Pilot has resisted mandated trauma counseling and has resorted to self-medicating with alcohol. Other issues noted: sleep disturbances, aggressive behavior towards colleagues, and a casual attitude with authority. She is currently occupying the cockpit of Ares Stingray as living quarters, under the guise of 'repairs', but with the true motive to inhibit the final refit of the cockpit which would release the Jaeger back into the duty roster. Handle with care. - PPDF Psychological Officer, Maj. P. Coulson ]

The Marshal met him in the admin coffee lounge, file in hand. "You're up, Coulson."

"Sir." He read the file and saw his own handwriting in it. "Oh." As the base Psych Officer, the mental health and well being of their stable of high speed, hard charging pilots was his bread and butter. He frowned at the file, thumbing through it again, even though he knew it by heart.

"Problem?"

"Sir, this is — a delicate situation."

"Yes, yes it is. That's why you're up. She's been under your watch for six years now. You wrote her original psychological review."

"I did. But this…"

"Phil, I don't want to lose her. She's really good at what she does."

"She also just lost her drift partner. While in the drift. I don't know any jaeger pilot that could come back from that. By all rights, she should have died right there with him. Forget the physical scars she bears now. The survivor's guilt alone is crushing her, not to mention the loss of a bonded partner."

"So you're saying we should just write her off?"

"No. No that's not what I'm saying at all. She's tough, I know that much. But this. This is a huge ask."

"Better get to it, then."

"Yes, sir." The Marshal nods and turns to go, but Coulson isn't done. "There's only one way for me to do this, you know that?"

"I don't care how you do it, just get it done, Major."

"Right. In that case, I need to tender my resignation."

~~~

He moved like smoke and thunder, dodging her strikes with the bo staff and shedding the blows that did land with the gentle motion of a reed in the wind, answering with no small power in return. He took her to the mat twice, before she came up red-eyed and snarling, swinging for his head. Her usual bouts lasted fifteen, maybe thirty seconds, tops, and usually whoever fought her walked away with something bleeding. That was not happening today.

Today, she'd showed up to practice with the perennial dark cloud over her head. When faced with the familiar face of the base Psych Officer, she sneered, rolling her staff over the back of her hand and then around their body, like a scorpion brandishing their spike. "This isn't Arthur Murray, you know. It's a different kind of tango."

He didn't blink, just offered her a dark smirk. "I think I can handle it."

"Can you?" She grinned, a predatory look in her eye. "Let's find out."

A moment later, she struck, and she kept striking, expecting for wood to meet bone at any second. She was sorely disappointed. Instead of panicking like a first year cadet, he was calm and centered in the eye of her storm, answering her blow for blow. The bout stretched from seconds to minutes, and it was close. Everything she threw at him, he had an answer for. Blows echoed off the steel rafters, and a crowd began to form, everyone including the techs stopping their work to watch.

"Had enough?" He quipped, resetting as she came around for another pass. He'd just begun to break a sweat. She answered with a strike at his hand, one he barely fended off. "No? All right then." He stepped back gave the staff a little flourish. "I can do this all day."

Her eyes flashed and she charged. She ended up flat on her back, again. This time, she'd didn't sit up straight away. He stared down at her, wiping a forearm across his eyes to clear the sweat away.

"What's the matter, Princess? Nobody warned you about me?"

"You sit behind a desk. You push papers. You might play at this game," she growls, rolling herself up and standing, refusing to surrender. "This game is life and death to me. Kaiju don't boast. They just kill you." She circled around him, catching her breath and studying him as she went. He seemed to be anticipating her every move.

He smirked at her, knowing it would only stoke the emotion burning in her belly. "You've been through hell. Nobody here is denying that. But do you think John would approve of you today? Showing up late to practice, hungover, attacking cadets so you can feel superior?"

"Shut your damned mouth," she hissed. "You don't know anything."

"I know enough. You're hurting. And instead of doing the hard work to heal, you're trying to make others hurt, too. You won't find your solution that way, Princess."

A war cry tore from her throat and she launched herself at him again. Again, she ended up ass over tea kettle, with his boot on her wrist. "You're only hurting yourself. I don't have to tell you that."

"Who gives you the right to stand in judgment? If you're here to give me the boot, fucking get it over with." Her voice broke and with it, the crowd that had gathered sensed a desperate need to be elsewhere. Pilots were known for working out their issues on the mat, and nobody could judge them for that. Not when they were the only people standing between them and planetary annihilation.

Phil offered Dejah his hand and she glared at him, not even looking at it.

"I have to judge you. It's my job. Or it was until this morning, when I tendered my resignation." That made her blink. Was he here to enter the pilot program? The facts quickly reshuffled behind her eyes. He kept talking, like a horse whisperer soothing a fractious young colt. "I know you're not stupid. And I think you know we're drift compatible." He spoke quietly, his hand still extended. "I also think you know a lifeline when you see it."

Dejah licked her dry lips, her fierce gaze not relenting for a moment. "You have a lot of nerve, talking to me like that."

"Somebody needed to say it, Princess." For the third time, he gestured for her to take his hand. Was she going to be too proud to acknowledge his new status on her team? What would that look like to all the other cadets here? She thought hard for a long moment, rage and grief boiling in her blood, and then slapped her hand against his forearm, letting him lever her up to standing. "Don't fucking call me that," she growled, and she separated from him with a little shove.

"There we go," he chided gently. "Why don't we shower and find some place quiet to talk. Say, the cockpit of the Ares Stingray?"

Her sanctuary. The last place she'd seen John alive. Her gaze fell to the mat and she had to steady her breath. Even not in the Drift, he could feel the waves of anguish the suggestion brought. "You're bringing the whiskey," she answered. A moment later, she stalked off towards the showers.

"Fair enough," he responded to her retreating back. To himself, he adds, "Not bad for a day's work. Not bad at all."

#tangleweave: coulson #fictober22 #au pacific rim

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naturalweightlosscenter · 7 months

Text

How to Get Motivated When You're Not?

Act as If You Feel Motivated

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Use the 10-Minute Rule

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Pair a Dreaded Task With Something You Enjoy

Your degree of motivation is significantly influenced by your emotions. Your motivation to take on a difficult activity or accomplish a tiresome endeavor will deteriorate if you're depressed, bored, lonely, or nervous.

Here are a few instances:

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Seek Professional Help

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Schedule an appointment with your physician. Your doctor may want to rule out physical health conditions that may be affecting your energy or mood.

Conclusion

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#natural weight loss center #natural weight loss in boca raton

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ramp-it-up · 3 years

Text

It Takes Two

Pairing: Soft Dark!Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI. Curate your own experience. Cursing, drinking, cheating, breakups, rehab, recovery, deception, lies, celibacy, manipulation, wedding planning, semi-public explicit, rough, sex, oral sex (m receiving), degradation kink, breeding kink, choking, dubiuous con (b/c of deception). Darkish! Scott Evans. This is not proofread!

A/N: @lovebittenbyevans gave me a great idea about still dealing with Chris when commenting on The One. I thought that the Chris in that fic could really go left and get pretty Dark and dirty. And then....

Anonymous asked:

Imagine Chris cheating on Y/N …

That made me think up this fic. It is a sequel to The One. I hope you like it!

-----

You left him.

You flew to Montreal to surprise him on set, trench coat and lingerie and everything, and when you opened the door to his trailer, you saw Heidi on her knees giving Chris a blowjob.

You cussed him out, threw the ring back in his face and turned around and left.

You blocked his number, moved out of his house and cut off all contact. You were done.

The audacity of Chris being indignant about your warnings about Heidi when he was boning her all along.

You loved Scott, but you had to cut him off too after he tried to explain that Chris was drunk when you found him, and was going to rehab to deal with his issues.

It was classic celebrity bullshit and you didn’t have time for it.

You decided to center yourself, and swear off all relationships and sex. You wanted to purge your mind of all that weighed you down.

You concluded that love, sex, and Chris Evans made you feel heavy as fuck.

You moved to New York City. It was far enough away from Chris and your folks in Houston to give you some peace.

You could still run your business and even think about a storefront. It was the perfect location to live your best life, eat healthy, exercise, socialize and network.

You fell in love with yourself, and you didn’t think much about Christopher Robert Evans at all.

Only every time you went on IG or Twitter, even though you blocked him and his hashtags. And every time you went to Target, because his fucking movies and merchandise were everywhere.

But you were cool, because you were doing you. You weren’t looking for love.

Of course, that’s when it found you.

Six months after you left Boston, you were at a natural beauty products expo in Brooklyn hawking your wares.

Your business had taken off, with almost a half million dollars in sales, and you were being interviewed by a major news outlet of color when one of the correspondents caught your eye.

You flirted, exchanged numbers and ended up going on a date. In another three months you were engaged to him.

Kevin Watts made you feel safe, protected and loved. And he wasn’t just after sex. He was well off, and secure in himself and you. It just felt right.

When Kevin proposed, it was just you and him at your favorite restaurant. So romantic.

Not like the rowdy family 4th of July party at which Chris asked you to marry him last year, in front of both your parents.

The laughter and the joy was just a little much.

This was perfect. You didn’t miss Chris at all. You set about planning your wedding with a profound sense of peace and safety.

You and Kevin were meant to be.

----

Chris was nothing without you.

Nothing but an award winning actor and producer, a multi-millionaire and founder of a major organization dedicated to bringing opposing political viewpoints together.

All of that was cool, and it kept him going, but when he lost you, he lost his motivation.

Chris didn’t take any more roles after the sequel with Heidi, and he dumped her post haste. He did enter rehab and realized that he depended way too much on alcohol to dull his emotions.

He got drunk off his ass when he was away from you because he missed you so much, and that led to him letting Heidi think that she could have him.

She’d had him physically, but never his heart. Or his mind. You owned those.

Chris followed your business closely, and was proud of your success.

Of course he followed your social media on burner accounts and saw that you were doing well.

You looked like you enjoyed being single and seemed healthy and happy.

He couldn’t ask for anything more for you.

Except to be his again.

Chris was just biding his time for your reunion, deciding to give you a year before he made his move.

Now he felt every emotion, and he knew that you must still love him too.

You just needed to realize that your life would be even better with him back in it.

The year apart would be just punishment for what he’d done to you, and when you came back together, it would be better than before.

Everyone speculated on his bachelorhood, wondering if he would settle down, speculating and gossiping about who he was with, but he just played coy and kept quiet.

No one would know that he was yours and yours alone, and that you were still his.

You just didn’t know it.

But you weren’t going along with the plan that you didn’t know about.

About seven months into his self-imposed purgatory, a complication started popping up on Chris’s feed.

Kevin.

And a couple of months after that, a post of a proposal, in a restaurant.

The asshole probably didn’t even ask or involve your folks. Chris was in a rage for a week.

He almost started drinking again, but as he got ready to drive to the liquor store, Kevin’s face flashed on his screen doing a report on the election.

Instead of making him even more angry, he smiled, elated at the thought that came to him.

Chris had a new plan, and it was going to be even better than before.

-----

The last three months had been a whirlwind, and you never thought it would turn out this way.

You were planning your wedding with your mother, discussing the seating at the reception, and you deciding where Chris Evans and his date would sit.

What a time to be alive.

Your mother only let it slip a couple of times that you should be marrying Chris, but for the most part, she kept it cute.

You explained to her that everything was squashed between you and Chris, and that he and Kevin had a great relationship, were friends, even.

They’d bonded over politics when Kevin interviewed him, and became buds before Chris even realized that you and he were together.

Kevin knew, but he wasn’t the jealous type, and he didn’t want to make things awkward. Surprisingly, Kevin insisted that he be at the wedding.

You thought about it and decided it would be the ultimate closure for Chris to watch you marry someone else.

You were pleasantly surprised at Chris. He was handling this very well. He never tried to contact you, and according to Kevin, never even mentioned you. That was growth.

Maybe you too could be friends.

You felt good about it. So much so that you unblocked him and started a dialogue.

-----

Hi.

Chris saw your number come across his apple watch and he practically did a dance. It was 9:24 pm. He picked up his phone and stared at the word, forcing himself to wait and not respond. He went to work out.

47 minutes later, he responded.

Hello?

This time, he sat and waited for your response, which came 7 minutes later.

I just wanted to say, I appreciate the way you're handling this.

Chris bit his lip, imagining you sitting there, thinking of what to say and staring down at your phone.

I’m sorry, I don't know who this is. You may have reached a wrong number?

He grinned at the play.

-----

Your heart dropped. Did he no longer have your contact?

Why would he do that?

You don’t know why you felt some kinda way; you’d blocked him.

Maybe he had changed his number and this was no longer his. Your heart was beating fast when you texted back.

Is this Chris? This is Y/N. I was just texting about Kevin Watts.

You anxiously watched the thought bubbles on imessage.

----

Even though you’d texted back almost immediately, Chris kept you hanging for just a couple of minutes. His dick was hard at the thought of communicating with you.

Fuck, you were such an aphrodesiac.

Oh shit! Y/N I’m sorry. I got a new phone.. You know how it is…

He knew you wouldn’t believe that. That’s why he said it.

You just stared at the phone. That was bullshit. You can easily port your contacts into a new phone. You just never believed that Chris would really move on. And you didn’t know why.

You had.

You took a deep breath and continued.

Lol, No worries! Just wanna say thank you for being cool with my Boo. I’m gonna turn in now. Check you later.

You tried to keep it light.

Chris ignored the ‘my Boo’ comment and focused on the thought of you in bed.

You usually slept in a tank top or t-shirt and panties, and the top would invariably come off because you got hot.

And then things would invariably get hotter if he was in bed with you….

Cool! Sweet dreams. Check you later. 😉

Chris made sure to exit your message thread and come back so that you wouldn’t see the thought bubbles that he saw when you kept staring at the text.

You were lost in the times that Chris always used to say that to you, and when he whispered “Sweet Dreams” in your ear when he was far away, you always had wet dreams about him.

And that wink.

How could a fucking yellow emoji turn you the fuck on?

You reached for your bullet vibrator as you continued to stare at the interaction.

Chis had already started stroking himself when you told him you were going to bed.

Knowing that you were thinking exactly what he wanted you to got him close, and he didn’t even have to pull up your old videos to get off.

Not tonight.

-----

Over the next few weeks. you’d texted a few times, Chris ‘made amends’ and you accepted his apology.

Then, you started texting more regularly, mainly joking around about sports, your Celtics/Rockets rivalry ever raging.

From your perspective, Chris was always appropriate and respected your relationship with Kevin. You were glad because you’d missed your friendship with him.

You felt giddy that your life was working out so well, and you traveled to your weekend getaway in the mountains for your bridal shower with a light heart.

Chris attended Kevin’s bachelor festivities with only a week to go until the wedding.

——

From Chris’s perspective, things were working out better than he’d hoped.

Scoring an invite to the wedding was more than he’d imagined, and Kevin inviting him out to his Bachelor party was just icing on the cake.

Maybe he could make Kevin slip up enough so that you would dump him before the wedding. Chris was hopeful.

If not, Plan B was the nuclear option.

-------

Kevin was following the stripper’s ass like a puppy. He was lit on booze and pills (that Chris provided) and his guard was down.

Kevin considered Chris a friend.

Chris just wanted to keep Kevin close because he was the enemy.

They were talking about you.

“She’s so fucking innocent. A sweeter angel there never was. I’ll have to teach her how to fuck.”

Chris almost choked on his water.

“I'm sorry. What now?”

Kevin just barreled on, ignoring the question.

“That's how I know I need to wife her.” He was talking to Chris, but still staring at the stripper.

“She would never chase the D. Hell, she won’t even touch mine. You know, her being celibate and all.”

Chris raised his eyebrow and smiled, which Kevin never noticed. Chris shook his head at your antics. His little beautiful love.

“That’s why I was never pressed that you are her ex. I mean, I’m impressed you were with her as long as you were.”

Chris just smiled and nodded, curious as to where this was leading.

“A man like you don’t have to put up with that. You must have punani lined up for days, bro.”

Chris’s heart lept. This dullard did not have access to your pussy. HIS pussy. Never has.

Chris could fuck a lot of people a million ways from Sunday with one text. Except for you. And you were all that mattered.

“I don’t know about all that.” Chris put on his best, ‘aw shucks’ act.

Chris was over the moon. You were still his. In every way.

Kevin kept tipping the stripper and was trying to call her over. He asked her about a private lap dance. Chris’s eyes lit up. This asshole was making it too easy.

The stripper nodded and went back to finish up her set. Chris walked over to the bar.

“Aye!” Chris summoned tha bartender over.

“What can I get you, Sir.”

“I don’t need a drink. I wanna take care of my friend over there. He’s gonna have a lap dance with Star. It’s his bachelor party. I need it to be extra special.”

Chris started peeling off hundreds so the barkeep could see.

“And I need him to have some keepsakes, so he’ll remember it always.”

More hundreds came off. The bartender’s eyes got bigger and bigger. “That’s no problem.”

Chris flashed his famous smile.

“Great, let me tell you where to send them. Wanna make them a wedding present.” He wrote down an address on a napkin.

He was now on Plan C. And it was perfect.

------

A week later and the rehearsal at the church was more fun than you thought it would be. You weren’t allowed to participate, just watch, as the result of an old wives tale.

The church secretary found you in the pews. She handed you a manila envelope.

“This was mailed here yesterday, probably an invoice of something for the wedding, I put it aside for you, sweetie.”

You smiled back at her and tucked it into your purse, not wanting to distract yourself with more wedding bills.

Later, when you and Kevin were in the back of the car to the restaurant for the Rehearsal Dinner, you pulled it out and opened it. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

“What the ENTIRE FUCK KEVIN!”

You threw the pictures of him fucking a stripper in his face, startling him out of staring at his phone.

He picked one up, his mouth dropped open and started talking.

“Look, Baby, Baby! I can explain!...”

“DO NOT FUCKING LIE TO ME KEVIN! WE HAVE OVER 300 PEOPLE HERE FOR OUR WEDDING TOMORROW MORNING.”

Kevin was on his knees in the back of the suburban.

“Listen to me.. Listen. I’m a man. I have needs…”

“Kevin, I swear to god….”

“Okay, okay… I admit it…”

You listened to him and your heart went silent. You couldn’t even absorb what he said.

When you pulled up to the restaurant, you straightened your dress and looked at him coolly.

“I am NOT going to deal with this tonight. Tonight was supposed to be a fun celebration of our wedding. I will decide later if it's still going to happen.”

Kevin was terrified.

“Right now, you and I will go into this place, greet our friends arm in arm and pretend that you are not a fucking narcissitic asshole who just ripped my heart to shreds. Got it?”

“Yes, but I-”

“Do NOT speak to me unless I speak to you first. Or it's automatically off.”

Kevin just nodded and cleared his throat.

You raised your chin and said, “Let’s go.”

-----

Two hours later, dinner was over, and you were lit on your way to TURNT.

Chris observed you, from the moment you entered holding hands with Kevin to the second you dropped his hand in disgust, to the way you held yourself away from him at dinner, but then put on a sweet face when everyone spoke, to Kevin, who was an absolute mess.

He figured you got the pictures. He suppressed the glee that was coursing through him.

But he couldn’t figure out why you were still going on with the charade.

Chris didn’t make a beeline for you like he wanted to, he just let the natural flow of the party lead you to him. He was talking to your cousin when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around.

“Hey you.”

You cocked your head at him in that way and looked up at him, your smile brightening your face. Damn, he had to plant his feet. You smiling at him like that made him feel faint.

You both heard your cousin say something, but you didn’t pay attention, caught up in your own orbit.

“Hey.”

Chris crossed his arms, and you swore that he was recalling the time when you told him your forearms made you horny. Fuck. Chris made you wet and you were fresh out of fucks tonight.

“So, I can’t have a hug?”

Chris shook his head at your line and opened his arms to embrace you, keeping a respectable pressure and distance until you hugged him tight and pressed close.

He couldn’t help but pick you up, but he put you down immediately, cleared his throat and backed up, looking uncomfortable.

That wouldn’t do. You wanted more of his scent, his warmth, his HIM. You pouted unconsciously in your buzzed state.

Chris’s cock stirred. That fucking mouth had haunted his dreams for almost a year. He was pleased that you were flirting, but he had to work the plan. Couldn’t go too fast.

“You look… great. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow in your wedding dress. You will be a beautiful bride.”

Chris broke his voice in just the right place to convey a wistfulness, making you think that he thought he lost you.

You felt bad. Chris was so sweet. You thought about him and you thought about Kevin.

What was the difference between what Chris did and what Kevin did?

And who did you have more chemistry with? Chris.

Why were you even marrying Kevin?

You looked over at him looking at you and Chris like a lost dog.

You had no idea why you were marrying him.

“You look… Like Chris fucking Evans.” You two laughed.

“I bet you’re fighting them off with a stick.” You sideyed him.

Chris reveled in your interest in his sex life.

“Well, you know. After rehab, I’ve laid off the... physical part of my life. It only brought chaos, you know. I’m trying to be more… zen. Haven’t really had… that for the better part of a year.”

He watched your eyes get big.

“Word?” You smirked. “So you…”

Chris held up his hand. The one you knew he jacked off with. You grabbed it and started drawing on his palm. Chis pulled it back and cleared his throat again.

You pouted again. Him being hard to get made you wet.

And Chris knew that.

“So… you ready to marry the love of your life?”

Chris’s sea blues looked you deep into your cocoa browns. You were transported back in time.

“Yes.”

Then you snapped out of it.

“I mean… the church is set up, the dress is bought, everyone’s here. I guess so.”

Chris laughed as if you were telling a joke.

“I miss your sense of humor.”

You all made small talk and you caught up a little before you asked what you wanted to know.

“So what are you up to tonight?”

Chris looked at his watch.

“I’m actually about to go to my condo an turn in. I get up early to work out.” He felt your eyes sweep up and down his body, and he flexed even though he was fully dressed. It was true. Working out was a regimen. He wanted you drooling for him.

“It’s the Marvel condo in Brooklyn?”

You nodded, remembering good times.

“So you have a car picking you up?” Your mind was whirring.

“I actually have a rental.”

You gulped your drink down, not daring to look in his eyes. Now, not only was your pussy wet, your nipples were hard as hell.

“It’s in the parking garage down the block.”

“Well, I need to clear my head. I’ll walk you there, and you can drop me back?”

Chris looked down at your cute face, and then around the room, spotted Kevin and gave him a nod.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

You looked at Kevin, too. You wanted to stick your tongue out, but you just took Chris by the arm and headed toward the door.

“I’m a big girl. Nobody owns me.”

You looked up into Chris’s eyes and instantly regretted that statement. You played it off and pulled him through the door.

You didn’t talk at all the entire way, both of your heads deep in the clouds of you and him. The chemistry was crackling the air between you.

You held on to his arm, and he let you, reveling in your touch.

When you reached the parking garage, Chris pressed the button with his knuckle and you got in, headed for the top deck.

You just stared at each other, both thinking the same thing. Chris chuckled.

“You’re dangerous, night before your wedding, you probably have cold feet, I’m here. Maybe you want to be sure that you’re sure…”

You cocked your head. “Who said I wanted to fuck you, Chris Evans?”

Chris cocked his head too, mirroring you. “Who said ‘fuck?’ I was thinking you wanted to talk.”

He smirked and you scowled as the door opened.

Chris left you in the elevator stewing as he walked over to the black Tesla he’d rented. There was no other car on the deck.

You scoffed, and followed him out.

He was about to walk around to the driver's side door when you grabbed his arm before he made it. He stopped directly in front of the car.

“Do you mean to tell me that you don’t want me?” You were hot, in more ways than one.

Chris leaned back against the hood.

“That’s not what we’re talking about, y/n. You’re getting married tomorrow. To someone else.”

You smiled and reached up, fingers grazing his neck and playing with the hair at his nape. You ran your fingers through his beard. Kevin’s couldn’t compare.

“That’s tomorrow. Tonight I’m single as fuck.”

You stood on your tip toes and brushed your lips against his, reveling in the moan that came from his throat.

Chris fought to control his urge and continued with his act. His fingers tightened around your waist and you thought this was it. He turned you around in front of the car and then let you go, stepping back to pace back and forth.

“What? What is this? You’ve had almost a year. Kevin’s my friend. What do you want from me?”

He advanced on you, and you had to remember to breathe. He knew what you wanted.

“You. I want you, Chris.”

Chris attacked your lips with his own. He took two seconds to savor them before he ravaged your mouth with his tongue. You moaned and he broke from your mouth to re-discover your face, your neck, your cleavage. He had to control himself not to rip the bodice of your blush pink chiffon dress.

He had a raging hard on, which you were feeling up, remembering how you always struggled to take him. You wanted him to hurt you with it now.

“Give me this Chris… please…”

You were reaching into his pants, thumb caressing his wet, thick tip. He was leaking for you.

“Remember when you told me that I would meet you in a parking lot, and let you fuck me over the hood of your rental car? Even if I was with someone else?”

You pulled your hand out and started sucking your thumb, closing your eyes at the taste of Chris after so long. You pulled it out with a pop.

“You were so right.”

Chris practically growled, grabbed your arm and spun you, pushing your back until your chest hit the hood of the Model X. He leaned over you, pushing his covered crotch into the back of your dress, you moaned, wanting more. His mouth was at your ear.

“Oh, so you want to be my cock whore on the eve of your wedding to someone else.” You moaned because it was true.

“It’s been so long, Chris…”

He reached down in between you and flipped the flouncy skirt of your dress up, exposing you to the wind of New York City. He looked at it for a minute, your ass always his favorite.

He caressed it with both hands, pressing into you with his thumbs.

“So you want me to feel you up?” He pulled his hand back and sucked one of them, practically jumping for joy when he tasted you.

“You want me to pull your panties to the side….” and he did so, seeing your slick shine in the moonlight, and playing in it for a minute, tracing your lips and making you quiver around nothing.

The way you were moaning his name was everything right now.

Your face was pressed against the cool metal of the car, and it was the only thing tying you to the earth.

“Oh yes, Chris…. Please please yesss...fuck me… damn...stretch me out…”

Chris’s dick pulsed and he needed you around him. He moved close again and unzipped his pants, the sound making your knees weak.

He teased your cunt with his tip, collecting your arousal and smearing it not only around your pussy, but around your asshole.

“I know you’ve fucked him, but have you let him have your ass? Am I still the only one…?”

Chris was still playing the game.

“No, no, no… I haven’t let him… I haven’t given him anything. I’ve been celibate, too. It’s still yours Chris. All of me is still yours.”

Chris almost came just hearing you say it out loud. He already knew, but hearing you say it was the shit.

He pushed into you with a grunt, and it was difficult. He didn’t make it. Your cunt squeezed him out.

“Ffffuck, y/n. You’re practically closed down. Is it true?”

He started rocking his tip into your pussy slowly, both regretting and reveling in the fact that he didn’t stretch you out with his fingers beforehand. Then he decided that he wanted you to feel this fully.

You couldn’t answer, only responding with moans has he painfully breached you. You welcomed it, though.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah… yes Chris. Only you.. Since you and I….” Talking about it and the fact that you were taking him again made you wetter, and eased Chris’s way, although your pussy was already stinging with his girth. Your eyes rolled back in your head.

You would never get over this and were so grateful for the feeling again.

Chris watched you and had to grit his teeth to hold back from the reality that he was taking you again.

He leaned over you, hot breath huffing in your ear, puffing and groaning as he fucked you slowly. He was trying to feel every sensation. He wanted you to know that each and every millimeter of your glorious wet, tight pussy was his.

‘Ohhhh. Fuck Chris… YESSSS!” Your voice echoed off the concrete walls, and Chris wanted you louder.

“This what you wanted? You wanted your thick cock inside you again. Hunh? You wanted me to stretch your walls and fuck you raw, hunh?” He started speeding up in time with your moans.

“Such a fucking filthy cockslut for me, baby.” Chris grabbed your neck from the back. “Why didn’t you let Kevin hit, hunh?”

You didn’t answer, you just moaned and Chris smacked your ass, hard.

“Chris! Fuck!”

You screamed. You missed his ruthlessness when you fucked, you missed him making sure that you knew that he knew that you knew. You belonged to him.

“Please!”

“I know why.”

Chris stopped fucking you and pressed down harder on your back, reaching around to find your clit. He swirled around it once, then started to press down slowly.

“Because you would never beg him for that subpar dick that he has. You’re MY whore. You belong to me.”

He pressed down roughly, and you detonated around his dick. He didn’t have to move. Chris pulled out, leaving you cold and bereft.

You turned around and leaned up against the hood, panting and still desperate for him. He stood there in front of you, dick sticking out of his pants, which were ruined, and still rock hard and ready. He was in a quiet rage.

“Why did you leave me?”

You searched his face. He sounded like he was about to cry. You couldn’t quite see his entire face, but his eyes shone, bright with liquid. You went toward him.

“You hurt me Chris. I couldn’t stay. But let me take care of you now.”

You got on your knees in front of him, the hard concrete of the parking structure digging into your knees.

Again, you welcomed the physical pain, distracting you from what you were doing to Kevin, to Chris, and to yourself.

Chris felt like he could fly. You on your knees for him again was a dream.

He took his cock in his hand, stroking it, while moving close to you. In no time, the back of your head was in his palm, and you opened wide to accept him, hand coming up to stroke what you couldn’t fit.

“Ah, ah. Let me.”

You looked up at him to see an evil grin shine down on you.

Chris looked down on an angel trying to swallow him whole. He brushed the tears away from your eyes as you struggled to breathe. You were perfection.

Moaning around him, you relaxed your mouth and throat and let him use you. It was difficult, because you were out of practice, but you welcomed the letting go of all thought.

You dripped down your thighs as Chris pumped into you, ready to accept what he had to give.

After a few minutes, he stopped, and pulled out, grabbing you up to your feet.

Then he bent down and grabbed you by the back of your thighs and you wrapped your legs around his waist, kissing him and trying to grind down on his still-erect cock as he backed you to the car.

Your ass hit the hood, and Chris reached between you to first tear your panties off. He put them in his pocket as he swiped his dick up and down your dripping wet folds.

He looked back up to watch your face as he pushed inside you, now, an easier path to nirvana.

He pulsed as he watched the pleasure take over your face, with your mouth slack and your eyes glassed over. This was his main purpose in life and he almost lost it.

He brought his hand up to bring you closer, breathed into your mouth as he squeezed your throat. You were high instantly, and clamped down on his cock as your body was wracked with waves of pleasure.

Chris let your body descend back down to the car as he pumped his seed into you, his mind fantasizing that he was impregnating you.

He shook your body as the last ropes of cum spurted out of him. He ran his hand down your body as he pulled out, zipping up his pants as you came back to your senses on the hood of the car.

You stared at the stars as you realized what you had done. You sat up and adjusted your dress, gingerly climbing back down to the ground.

Chris kissed you on the forehead, and this time you let him get into the driver’s seat. You got in the passenger side and Chris reached into the glovebox and handed you some wet wipes.

“Fix your face. And your knees.”

He nodded down to your legs, which were dirty from the parking structure floor. He watched you wipe your knees off, but stopped you as you went higher.

“No. I want you to feel me all night long.”

You wanted to be a brat, but you didn’t feel like sass right about now. You felt kinda terrible.

You got another wet wipe and fixed your makeup as best you could as Chris drove you back to the restaurant.

“Chris, I…”

“I know. None of that meant that we’re back together. That was for some kind of something, I dunno, something Kevin might have done?”

You looked down, ashamed. Chris lifted your chin up with his hand.

“I want you to come to me on your own. You’ve gotten that out of your system, and I’m glad to be of service.” You looked up into his eyes and at his wry smile.

“But remember, you still have a choice. I’m here if you choose me.”

He leaned over and gave you a tender kiss in front of the restaurant.

You smiled at him and climbed out of the car, watching as he drove off.

Chris’s heart was beating out of his chest as he watched you turn and go back inside. He fought the urge to turn around. It was better this way.

----

You walked in the restaurant, and pulled Kevin over to the side of the restaurant in dark alcove.

“Listen. Do you still want to marry me?”

He looked you up and down, taking in your state, from the faint marks on your neck to your scuffed knees. He knew exactly what was up.

You raised an eyebrow at him.

-----

Three hours later, a sleepy Chris answered the doorbell in Brooklyn.

He smiled at you, in the Captain America t-shirt and jeans that you’d stolen from him after a photoshoot, looking like his favorite Disney princess. You.

You took him in, clad in grey sweatpants that hung off his magnificently cut body. He blinked at you sleepily.

“The wedding is off. Chris, I….”

He reached out and grabbed you, pulling you in the brownstone and shutting the door behind you. He had you pinned up against the wall as you tried to speak.

“Shut up and let me taste you.”

You grinned and wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you upstairs.

---

The next morning, Chris was on the phone with Scott.

“Yes, tell the workers at the warehouse to dump all the products….I don’t care, the river, the landfill…. Y/N can’t find out that I bought up all her stock…. We’re going to be married..... I know what the fuck I’m doing Scott. We leave for Aruba this afternoon. Listen, I’ll call you later.”

Chris hung up and turned to find you in the doorway, frowning and rubbing your eyes.

“We’re going to Aruba?”

You smiled and yawned, sleepily stretching. That was all that you’d heard of the conversation.

Chris gave you his stunner smile.

“Yes. It was going to be a surprise.”

He reached down and swung you up in his arms, carrying you into the bathroom bridal style.

“Now let’s get in the shower. You’ve been very naughty, gotta get you clean for your wedding day.”

You giggled as you relaxed in Chris’s arms. “It takes two to be naughty, Chris.”

He winked at you as he turned on the shower. “Don’t I know it.”

-----

I know it’s different. Let me know if you like it. Like, comment, reblog!

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769 notes · View notes

luimagines · 3 years

Note

Do time or the other links smoke? Or drink? Or do some kind of drugs? I mean when your out heroing you're going to get alot of traum

Something they all at least somewhat have to try and take the edg off or do they have other ways of coping? I am sorry if this sounds like an ask,i was more along the lines trying to get your speculation on the matter

Masterlist

I see what you're saying and I do think that some of them would have had bad habits in the past but yeah-

They do need some time to take the edge off and refocus themselves in the present, but how do they do that in a healthy and safe way?

Let's talk about that.

I don't think I have all the necessary tags so go forth at your own discretion.

Time

Time would have definitely had a drinking problem that would have started in his Termina days.

He's never really felt the need to drink though- he only found that it would have kept him from going crazy.

But as he got out of there and talked more to Malon (and have his supply cut off- (just because he knew where to get it in Termina doesn't mean he knows where to get it in Hyrule, (nor would they give it to him, even if he did))), I like to think that he would have had to find other ways to calm himself down and think rationally through his thoughts and desires.

It happens by accident.

He was working at Lon Lon Ranch when he needed to go chop some wood and he found the repetitive and strenuous work, soothing.

He felt good. Accomplished even.

And a little disappointed when he was finished.

But he started doing that whenever he could and it became his main way to not only blow off some steam but to also calm himself down.

It helps with his anxiety and his need to help feel useful even when nothing is really happening that would require his assistance.

Twilight

Twilight finds that manual labor actually makes his anxiety worse.

He can't really find it within himself to get lost in it because he's already programmed for that to be a part of his day to day life anyway. So his brain can still go on and on even as he gets his chores done.

Twilight finds that a secluded spot with little distraction works best.

He's never really dabbled in other ways to deal with it nor has it come to his mind.

All he knew one say was that everything was too much and that he needed to be in a different area entirely.

No people, no noise.

He likes to hang out by small creeks or by the lake and fish if he really needs an excuse to do something.

Bonus points if he can rest with one of his favorite goats nearby, but that's few and far in between.

It's less meditation and more taking in the moment and letting time slip by for a change.

No to do lists, no action, no survival, no need to be on the run.

Just breath.

Warrior

Warrior would have smoked during the war but I don’t think he’d actually tolerate it all that well. I feel like he’d be more inclined to drink away his problems but with shortages left and right, and all efforts going into the war, there just wouldn’t be enough to go around.

So he’d smoke and hate it.

But it worked in a pinch.

Afterwards, whether through Mask’s and Wind’s influence or the end of the war, he’d want to find a way to quit.

It wasn’t easy but I feel like Warrior would attempt to quit cold turkey. Just drop the habit completely and what does he do when he feels the need arise again?

It’s actually little said than done, but he paints.

It’s less with ink and paint and more so, just moving his hands and a brush around.

If he happens to have a canvas it’s better but again, not easy to come around.

So what Warrior ends up doing most of the time, is taking a brush and some homemade ink from berries and brushing it over his scars. His favorite spot is the massive burn covering his left arm left behind as a gift from the Dragon Knight.

It feels tingly and electric, static follows the brush and the muscles clench with energy from the contact but while it’s uncomfortable for a while, it’s also not entirely unpleasant and it’s soothing to watch and feel. And it grounds Warrior in the moment until he no longer feels the urge.

When the urge is gone, he still does it when he feel anxious and concerned. Late at night is typical time for him to do this, where no one would see him or his scars and judge him for it.

Sky

Sky in the beginning would have slept more than he did before.

He was already inclined to fall asleep easily before all of his trauma, but afterwards he seemed to lose motivation to continue with the idea that things would go back to normal. There was still a lot of expectation placed on his shoulders and it was frankly not something he wanted to deal with.

So he sleeps.

Now this turns into more of a problem with being able to stay awake and to stay concentrated. It’s hard for him to pay attention to anything beyond him and that won’t do, considering me still has to finish his schooling.

What Sky does more often than not to keep him tethered to the present moment is work with his hands. He’s already had the tools for wood whittling but he was never allowed to use them in class and it ends being a bigger mess sometimes than he’s willing to deal with in general.

Sky also has some small pockets of clay that he fidgets with to keep his hands moving and he can keep it under his desk so that it’s not that distracting in class.

It helps him focus and when he thinks about what he’s been through and what he plans to do next, it keeps him from getting overwhelmed.

Wild

I think Wild would have just gone silent and unmoving when he’s having a bad day.

Kind of similar to how he gets when’s trapped in a memory but for longer and he doesn’t eat or sleep. It could last days at a time. He doesn’t even move unless he’s prompted or dragged to the spot.

The lights are on but no one’s home you know.

There’s not a lot he can do when it happens. Everyone just has to wait for it to pass and hope that it passes quickly.

But Wild gets better with time to know the signs when of one of those days is coming.

It’s not much, but Wild like to hop on the back of his horse and just take off.

Feel the rushing wind on his face and through his hair. He’s a full gallop for a while until the poor horse gets tired. At that point he just goes to the nearest stable and exchanges horses to do the whole thing over again.

Sometimes, when that’s not enough, he’ll go base jumping from as high as he can get even using Revali’s Gale to get higher and free fall. Wild is pretty good at catching himself with his paraglider at the last moment and he likes to see all of Hyrule when as he reaches the ground again.

It reminds him that he’s done a lot of good, that he’s capable of doing more good and that life isn’t over just one ended.

Four

Unsurprisingly, sometimes Four gets too lost in his own for his own good.

He’s got a lot to think about and very little way to get it out.

Four would actually throw himself into his work to try and distract himself from the memories, the anxiety, and the guilt of not being enough time and time again even if he saved the day in the end.

This doesn’t help.

He gets so lost into it, in his attempt to stop thinking all together that he completely goes into autopilot and over works himself. Not in the sense that he pulls a muscle and has to take it easy or end up sore and tired and regrets it. No, no. What I mean is that he’ll keep working for days on end.

No sleep.

No food.

Little water.

No fresh air.

It ends up being a hard habit for him to break. Especially since he finds himself continuously trying to fall into a blank mindset even while he actually works to get commissions done.

So what Four has to do is find something else to do. Four more or less always has to have his hands moving, so it’s hard for him to put something down and not working on it.

He likes jigsaw puzzles, he likes to read, but he also likes to make stuff.

So in the end, when Four feel a little overwhelmed and feels himself slip into a self deprivational state, he’ll stop and goes inside his house to do a smaller project.

So he bakes, he knits, he does his puzzels. It’s enough for him to feel productive still but quick enough for him to stay present and make sure he’s still taking care of himself until the restlessness passes.

Wind

Wind doesn’t really have bad habits. He’s still young and processing his adventures.

I’m sure there’s alcohol on the pirate ship because pirates. But I don’t think he’d like it as much as some people want to write him.

Like, sure, a cup or two ain’t bad but I just can’t see Wind having a drinking problem. At least not now as everything stands.

In a few years it’s might be something he would need to be on the look out for if he’s aware enough but he was quite grasped the full implications of his position and trauma yet.

Because he’s just a kid.

He won’t know how twisted what happened to him was until he gets older and can he the age outside of his own mindset.

Wind has nightmares though and they’re ties when he gets memories that he doesn’t want to deal with at the moment- or ever again.

In the moment he thinks of his home, his grandma and his sister instead.

He thinks of his friends, both old and new.

The chain help with distracting him and he’s not above using them for the distraction when he feels that he needs one.

Wind also stretches a lot.

When he was with Warrior, he got into some of the drills they were teaching the soldiers and for some of the nimble ones, they had to start with stretches and he likes it.

So when it gets particularly bad, he throws himself through the motions and holds the poses for a bit longer than necessary.

So yoga. He does yoga.

And it centers him, it clears his head and he feels better after.

Legend

Legend screams.

Legend cries.

Legend will go on a rampage and destroy a whole forest if he’s having a particularly hard day.

Sometimes he’ll go find something big and scary just to fight it.

Blacksmithing is more a hobby for him at this point because it’s not something he can actually see himself doing in the future. It’s just to pass the time and help the day’s go by a little faster.

Legend likes to draw and when he’s tired after throwing whatever tantrum has taken over him, he’d go to a quiet spot and draw whatever he sees.

Sometimes, when he’s paying more attention to himself and he can feel himself getting frustrated and anxious, he takes a few days off.

He leaves his house and his items and goes up a mountain to think with some food, a notebook and some pencils.

He takes up map making.

Legend doesn’t think he’s any good at it, but with al the places he’s been, he tries to make a map for them by memory incase anyone he knows or will meet decides to visit.

His most carefully crafted map is of Koholint for... reasons.

It’s takes him an age and a half and he’s still not done with it, trying to get as much of it onto the paper as he can remember before he grows old and loses them entirely within his memory.

It’s a calming project he finds. He doesn’t feel sad when he does this for Marin for the people and their memory. It keeps them alive in his heart and sometimes he draws something on the map that doesn’t quite fit into his memory about the island but something tells him to keep it because it was there. Because he was only a visitor to their home.

The locals would know.

He feels good keeping them alive in some way.

It’s what she they would have wanted.

It’s what she they deserve.

She They always wanted to travel and it’s better to have a map to do so.

He takes up map making.

Hyrule

I don’t think Hyrule’s... Hyrule has a lot of these methods to go around. He wouldn’t have been exposed to drugs or alcohol simply because there’s too little people for him to interact with.

And if he was, I don’t think he’s use them as a coping mechanism simply because they would be too difficult obtain and gather to be sufficient.

I think that Hyrule would actually hang out with a Great Fairies by her pool when times got particularly rough.

There’s something about the place that resonates with him and feels calming, safe and relaxing to him.

As a bonus he’s always welcomed so he can pop in and stay for days at a time if he ever needed to.

He does not stay there for days.

But he appreciates the offer.

Hyrule doesn’t stay for more than few hours at a time because he doesn’t want to attract any monsters to his safe spots but even if the fairies don’t use any magic on him, he’s always rejuvenated afterwards and he feel like he can take on anything.

And given the world he comes from- it’s needed.

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #I know this wasn't really a request either #and I did say they were clsoed #but this was already going to get long #and it's more headcanons again #so into the queue it goes #bad habits #tw alchoholism #tw anxiety #tw smoking #tw addiction #pinky replies #pinky answers

167 notes · View notes

sunkaashi · 3 years

Text

— OVERTIME

↬ Pairing. College!Atsumu x Manager!Reader

↬ Genre. Fluff. A hint of enemies to lovers if you look really closely.

↬ Warnings. Mentions of alcohol. I guess nothing else? Let me know if you think I'm wrong!

↬ Summary. Atsumu Miya is hopelessly in love with you, but how could he ever catch your attention if all you do is ignore him? Well, maybe his plan starts to work out when he finds out that whenever he stays longer for practice, you have to stay too.

↬ Word count. 1.7k

↬ tris' note: I wrote this in the spur of the moment, but I had so much fun! feedbacks are extremely appreciated! if you wanna be added to my general taglist, fill out this form.

anyways, did you know that only hot people reblog the works they like? NO? well, now you do ;) jk, but reblogs help me tons and I'm very grateful for them <3

Sweat dripped down the back of ATSUMU's neck as he jogged around the college tracks for the nth time that afternoon.

"Just one more lap." He kept telling himself over and over again as if repeating it would make it any less of a lie.

But who could blame him when this was the only moment of the day that he could spend with you? When he just knew that, by the end of that turn, you'd be there to receive him, water bottle and towel in hand? If anything, that just drove him more and more motivated to get to the finish line.

Those seconds in which your hands slightly brushed off against each other's; the way you laughed whenever he tripped over himself, too tired to carry on; the sarcastic sneer on your face every time you scolded him for wasting your time, but still wouldn't leave. To Atsumu, that was his reward, better than any shining trophy.

"Oi! Miya!" Your voice woke him up from his trance as the blonde boy finally shot up a glance at you. He rested with his hands on his knees, chest going up and down in strong and unsteady motions, legs still trembling a bit from the training. "We've been here for almost two hours! Everybody has left already, and I want to go home for God's sake!"

Atsumu snickered at the way your voice got higher with each word, deflecting from his gaze while you said you wanted to leave. He also didn't miss how you knitted your eyebrows together just before going off at him, carefully scanning his shaky body.

"Ya could've left, ya know? I never asked ya to stay!" He replied, smirking a little while making sure to stare right into your pupils.

If eyes are the windows to the soul, that must be the reason yours were so beautiful to him. As he tried to get an answer through them, he also delighted himself in such a vision. That's why he was quick to notice their slight tremble at his remark.

"And leave you to die?!" Your voice, once again, cut him off of his daydreams. "You've been running for more than an hour after a pretty rough practice, if you go into cardiac arrest who's gonna call an ambulance?! I'm the team manager, I don't want any deaths on my back!"

In his defense, he was only there because of you, but — obviously — he wouldn't tell you that. He decided to just laugh it off.

"Well, that's something you don't see every day!" He teased.

"What?!"

"Yer’ worried ‘bout me!" Atsumu said, trying to suppress the smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

Even though his tone was playful, he knew something was off when his words were left hanging in the air, no snarky comments added to the back-and-forth banter you were both so used to.

Seeing your widened eyes, he started to question if he was right or, worse, if he had crossed a line.

You gulped down as if this would prevent you from spilling something you shouldn't say. Atsumu was dying to know what it was.

This had become a little routine of yours. Staying for a couple more hours after practice as you helped him out for a while. At first, he knew you're just doing your job, after all, you were there to assist the boys, it didn't matter who they were. Still, he couldn't shake the thought that maybe, just maybe, something had changed as the months went by.

He remembered it perfectly. It wasn't that long before that you used to curse him for making you lose such precious time of your day. He knew you had your reasons! Staying overtime underneath the unforgiving sun, having to catch up on your studies while sitting beside the filthy running tracks, surrounded by sweaty and dirty athletes.

Even so, it wasn't pleasant for him either. Jogging for endless hours, the summer heat consuming him as if hell were just around the corner.

Usually, he would run only half of those miles. But how could he stop? How could he stop knowing that the minute he did, you'd have to go home, and he would only see you the next day? No, he needed more time to win you over. He needed those small talks in between his breaks. He needed every single one of the few glances you exchanged every time he ran past you. He needed to hear you giggling at his jokes at least once more.

What once felt like dragging insufferable after hours, began to seem like less and less time over the weeks. Those little details were what made it all worth it. They were his private entrance to heaven.

And he believed that you might've been starting to feel the same way too.

He'd caught the way your lips curled up into a shy smile the last time he'd offered to walk you home. He also had noticed how your irises shined a bit brighter whenever he bought you food, worried because he knew you'd be there with him for those extra periods. He'd seen the way you laughed at his childhood stories just a tad too hard, always asking for another one.

Atsumu had always been aware of how he comes off to people: the arrogant self-centered jock. He never really cared about any of those things, but he did care about how you perceived him. The man just hoped that soon enough, you'd learn he was more than what others wanted him to be. Not a pretentious athlete, albeit a normal guy as any other, just with an ambitious goal set to his mind. And whenever you shared one of those intimate moments, he thought that, perhaps, you were one of the few people that actually saw him for who he was.

Still, that didn't make it any easier to admit the feelings he'd developed for you.

"Oi! Are ya alright?" Atsumu said, trying to catch your attention, a delicate expression laying on his countenance. "I'm sorry if I overstepped in any way, ‘kay? It was a joke, I promise." You didn't answer him just yet.

"Hey!" He proceeded, lifting your chin up so you'd look at him. "Now I'm the one getting worried 'bout ya! Snap out of it and get back to hating on me before ya realize I might have a heart!" Atsumu mocked himself, but shied away from your glare while doing so.

At least he'd made you chuckle.

“I always knew you had one, Miya." You said, rolling your eyes at the man. “I just didn’t know it worked!”

“Oya! That was mean!”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” You asked, arching your brows.

“Well, maybe, but it wouldn’t hurt if ya were a little nicer to me once in a while!”

“Yeah? How so?” The words slipped past your lips without missing a beat, and Atsumu couldn’t help but wonder if the flirtatious undertone was something he had only imagined. He decided to take the bait.

“For starters...” Atsumu began, slowly making his way closer to where you were standing. “Ya could buy me a beer after we’re done here.” Was he crazy or did he really see your shoulders relaxing at his words?

“Oh, is that easy?” You responded in the same toying manner.

“Hold up!” He said, raising his hands to the air. “That’s just the first step!”

“And then what?”

“And then…” Atsumu continued, moving further towards your figure. “Then ya could let me hear that beautiful laugh of yers a few more times.” He completed, stealing a giggle out of you. “Just like that.”

“Great, so I’m halfway through it.” Your tone may have been monotonous, but your eyes told him otherwise. “Anything else or can we get this over with?”

“Maybe, while yer’ laughing, ya could finally realize that I’m not as bad as ya think I am.” He pondered, moving a loose strand of hair out of your features, clearing the view to your gaze.

“Now you wanna tell me what to think?” You scoffed, crossing your arms.

“Is just a suggestion! Take it as ya wish!” He winked at you.

“And what if I told you that I already did?”

“Ya did?” This time, he sounded soft, breaking out of the teasy character for a second.

“You’re not bad, Miya... Far from that.”

“Well, that’s a shock.”

“You don’t look surprised.” You stated, pointing out the crescent grin on his face.

“Too much wishful thinking made me ready for this moment.”

“And what exactly is this moment… Atsumu?” The way you said his name, in a hushed voice, almost like a secret meant to be shared by only the both of you, gave him the green light he needed to go on.

“It’s when I finally kiss ya.”

Atsumu was quick to grab your waist, pulling you closer to his chest, and finally closing the gap between you two. His gawk rapidly traveled from your mouth to your eyes, longing for a confirmation. It didn’t take a second after your subtle nod for him to merge your lips together, your body melting at his touch. His grasp was gentle, but firm, like you were something he treasured, something that he never wanted to let go of. And by the way you gripped onto his neck, the boy could tell he wasn’t alone in this.

Atsumu moved his palms all the way up your back, briefly running his fingers through your hair, but resting them upon finding your face. His tender touch cupped your cheeks in between his hands, pushing away just when he inevitably ran out of breath.

"Do I still have to buy you that beer or is this nice enough for you?" You said, unable to repress a smile.

“Hm, I’m not sure… Why don’t you kiss me again and we'll see?"

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