#‘’it’s my bridge now. they will put my name in graffiti. children will come and tell tales of me’’

[loveinstreams]

like don’t you get it? by hunting ghosts you become a part of them. a presence that lingers. the memories you are making here right now is also what will survive of this place. it’s also what will haunt it.

#‘’it’s my bridge now. they will put my name in graffiti. children will come and tell tales of me’’ #<- rewrote the story. #ghost files #bfu #buzzfeed unsolved #watcher #don’t listen to me I’m insane

[nobodyproblematic]

You think Dylan would dance on Goatman’s bridge while Jacob is off in the distance, absolutely pissing his pants from how scared he is of Goatman actually killing them?

Dylan, shouting at the sky: Goatman! I’m dancing on your bridge! It’s MY bridge now! You hear that? If you want me off this bridge you’re gonna have to kill me! You’re gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself! Look at the way I dance on it, I disrespect your bridge, Goatman! You hear that, Goatman? Me and Jacob own your bridge!

Jacob, panicking for his life: NO! Don’t loop me into your shit! Stop looping me I hate when you do this to me!

Dylan, continuing to dance: Well then tell them! Tell them you’re not part of this!

Jacob, shouting at the sky: I’m not part of his little charade!

Dylan, grinning: You’re talking to Goatman now.

Jacob, mouth agape as he begins to panic even more: …I see what you’ve done.

Dylan, shouting like an absolute lunatic at the bridge: They’re gonna put MY name in graffiti! Children will come here and tell tales of ME!

#dylan lenivy #jacob custos #jaylan #the quarry #They would be amazing ghost hunters #Dylan would NOT take his job seriously though

[cloudcountry]

Azul can’t deny the monetary rizz 😩👌

AND YESS RAMSHACKLE GANG AS GHOST HUNTERS WOULD BE GOLD 👌 It just made me think of a bunch of Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural quotes and,, I did a little thing 🧍

Deuce: Maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way?

Ace/Grim: No, I want my f*cking gold.

Ace: Am I in hell? Loop!Reader/Yuu: No, Ace. If you were, you’d be on a throne and the devil would be packing.

The gang: *hiding from a ghost*

Deuce: Don’t say a word!

Ace: …Fergalicious.

Deuce: Ace! What did I just say?

Ace: Oh, I see. So two weeks ago, when we all played Scrabble, it wasn’t a word, but now it is? How convenient for you.

Grim: Don’t worry henchman, everyone is afraid of something.

Loop!Reader/Yuu: Even you?

Grim: No.

Ace: Hey there, demons. It’s me, ya boy.

Deuce: I think I’m blacking out right now.

Loop!Reader/Yuu: F*ck you, Goatman!

Ace: Goatman, I’m dancing on your bridge - it’s my bridge now! You hear that?

Loop!Reader/Yuu: Look at the way he dances on it! He disrespects your bridge, Goatman!

Ace: You want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to kill me! You’re going to have to throw me off this bridge yourself!

Deuce: *freaking out in the back* Oh my god-

Ace: They’re gonna put my name in graffiti. Children will come and tell tales of me!

Loop!Reader/Yuu: Hey, you demon f*ck!

Deuce: 🧍

Also, while I’m here!! I was going through the notes I made for my TWST fics a little while ago, and I came across random notes I made for myself when I was up at 3 AM and very tired. Most make sense, but there are some that make me go “Huh? 🧍‍♂️” Like, for example:

‘Jade was the mushroom now.’

Hey, me from a month ago? What does this mean??

I hope you don’t mind me sharing some of those random notes!! They’re all separate from one another and they have,, no context-

~~~

“Holy woah,” Idia said to himself, “I just talked to a girl!” (He didn’t actually talk. He didn’t offer up a single word throughout the entire conversation.)

Jamil: Lilia, this crab is so undercooked, I can still practically hear it singing!

“Jade? Jade, I’m gonna fall. Jade. Jade, I’m falling. Jade. JADE–”

“(Name), you’ve barely moved.”

Azul took out his phone and (Name) had to hold back a laugh. Of course his phone case was a wallet.

Loop!Reader and Idia: *talking about video game characters*

Loop!Reader: Okay, but Idia… What if he was my babygirl, though?

Idia: (Name), he literally did war crimes.

Loop!Reader: To be a babygirl, you need to commit atrocities sometimes.

And for his next trick, Floyd became bedazzled.

Now, (Name) had no fears.

“Swordfishy!”

Well, one fear.

(Name) turned around to see Floyd sprinting at her on all fours. Naturally, she screamed at the top of her lungs.

And now, possibly my most favourite note:

“(Name) accidentally rizzes up Octavinelle students via kazoo”

Like?? What does this mean? How does this even happen?? I guess me from a month or so ago will be the only one who knows 💀

Jackdaw Anon 🐦

deuce embodying ryan is the realest thing ive ever read ^^; ace would totally be shane except he would be such a ryan the SECOND they find something that even REMOTELY resembles a ghost. hes a scaredy cat at heart. but the "no man yorue scared!! im not SCARED!!!" type...hes annoying (SIGH)

NO BC I MADE NOTES LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME A YEAR AGO???? IT WAS KINDA FUN TO RATTLING OFF IDEAS TO MY BEDROOM WALLS SAHDGJHSAGD and what does that mean....,.,,. im sure hes happy about it yk!!! being a mushroom and all

IDIA CANT TALK TO WOMEN THATS CANON. he cant talk to anyone actually but yk.

VIA KAZOO............THE WAY YOU PHRASED THAT MADE ME SNORT AJSFDHAGSDH no i get that.,.,. my notes are incoherent and sometimes i just dont remember what they mean oopsies

#jackdaw anon <3

[ap-kinda-lit]

Vegeta: You may not like this, but I'm going to try and agitate it.

Goku: Okay, you do what you gotta do, and I'll do what I gotta do.

Vegeta: I'm just going to be as crude as possible.

Goku: Cool.

Vegeta:...FUCK YOU GOATMAN!

Goku: Holy shit! I thought you were gonna build your way up!

Vegeta: No, no. Just right out of the gate. Why build up?

Goku: If you don't believe, then there's nothing to be afraid of, right? You can be as big a jerk as you want to. But I'll stand over here.

Vegeta: GOATMAN! I'M DANCING ON YOUR BRIDGE! IT'S MY BRIDGE NOW!

Goku: Oh my God.

Vegeta: YOU WANT ME OFF THIS BRIDGE, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO KILL ME!

Goku: Oh my God!

Vegeta: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO THROW ME OFF THIS BRIDGE YOURSELF!

Goku: He did throw someone off the bridge.

Vegeta: LOOK AT THE WAY I DANCE ON IT! I DISRESPECT YOUR BRIDGE, GOATMAN!

Goku: He's taking names right now. He's sharpening his little blades.

Vegeta: YOU HEAR ME, GOATMAN? KAKAROT AND I OWN YOUR BRIDGE!

Goku: N-no! Don't loop me into this! Stop looping me in!

Vegeta: Then tell him! Tell Goatman you're not part of this!

Goku: I'm not with him!

Vegeta: You're talking to Goatman now.

Goku: ...I see what you did.

Vegeta: It's Goatman entrapment.

Goku: I'm not with him!!

Vegeta: GOATMAN! THEY'RE GOING TO PUT MY NAME IN GRAFFITI! CHILDREN WILL COME HERE AND TELL TALES OF ME!

#at moro's bridge #idiots #dragon ball z #dragon ball super #dbs #dbz #son goku #goku #vegeta #goatman's bridge #buzzfeed unsolved

[crying-pan420]

More incorrect quotes but smaller

Diego: Fuck you,goat man!

Parker: holy shit, dude!

Diego: is that good..?

Parker: I thought you were gonna build your way up.

Parker: but-

Diego: no, no, just right out of the gate.

Diego: why build up?

Parker: if you don’t believe then-

Parker: then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right?

Parker: you can be a big a prick as you want.

Parker: I’ll stand over here

Diego: I guess I can

Diego: GOATMAN

Diego: I’m dancing on your bridge! It’s my bridge now!

Parker: holy shit!

Diego: you hear that?! If you want me off this bridge you’re gonna have to kill me!

Parker: holy shit..

Diego: you’re gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself!

Parker: he did throw somebody off the bridge once.

Diego: look at the way I dance on it! I disrespect your bridge, goatman!

Parker: he’s taking names rn

Diego: you hear that goatman?

Parker: he’s sharpening his little knives

Diego: we- me and Parker Sideris, own your bridge now

Parker: no, I don’t-

Parker: don’t loop me into your shit!

Diego: YEP!

Parker: stop looping me-

Diego: YEP!

Parker: I hate when you do this in the demon places

Diego: well then tell him!

Diego: tell him you’re not part of this

Parker: I’m not part of his little charade!

Diego: you’re talking to goatman now..

Parker:…I see what you’ve done!

Diego: it’s goatman entrapment

Diego: goatman!

Parker: I’m not with him

Diego: they’re gonna put my name in graffiti!

Parker: oh my god okay

Diego: children will come here and tell tales of me!

@pepperst3ak thoughts?

#rtc #rtc oc #rtc sona #choirsona #choirsona incorrect quotes #diego santos #diego the laziest boy in town #diego rtc #Parker rtc #the clumsiest boy in town #Parker sideris #yes I just quoted all of it #what about it?

[derschwarzeengel]

[Tyler and Damon are at the Old Alton Bridge outside of Alton, Texas.] Damon: You may not like this. I'm gonna try and agitate it. I'm just gonna go-- Tyler: You do what you gotta do, and I'll do what I gotta do. Damon: I'm just gonna be as crude as possible here. Fuck you, Goatman! Tyler: Holy shit, dude. Damon: Is that good? Tyler: I thought you were gonna build your way up. Damon: No, no, no. Just right of the gate. Why build up? Tyler: If you don't believe, then there's nothing for you to be afraid of, right? You could be as big a prick as you want. I'll stand over here. Damon, dancing on the bridge: Goatman, I'm dancing on your bridge! It's my bridge now! [Tyler laughs.] Damon: You hear that? You want me off this bridge, you're gonna have to kill me! Tyler: Holy shit! Damon: You're gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself! Tyler: He did throw somebody off the bridge once. Damon: Look at the way I dance on it. I disrespect your bridge, Goatman! Tyler: He's taking names right now. Damon: You hear that, Goatman? Me and Tyler Walker own your bridge! Tyler: No, don't loop me into your shit. Stop looping me; I hate it when you do this. Damon: Well then, tell him! Tell him you're not part of this. Tyler: I'm not part of his little charade. Damon: You're talking to Goatman now. Tyler: I see what you've done. Damon, grinning: It's Goatman entrapment. Damon: Goatman? Tyler: I'm not with him. Damon: They're gonna put my name in graffiti. Children will come here and tell tales of ME!

#badassxbirdy #BrOTP: you could use a buddy ( Damon & Tyler. ) #whoever said Germans don’t have a sense of humor? ( Incorrect Quotes. ) #source: Buzzfeed Unsolved

[desertpups]

If I ever see one of these on the road in person I'll cut the vehicle off, hop out of my car, and recite the whole thing in the middle of traffic. This is my promise.

window sticker text:

Goatman, I'm dancing on your bridge-it's my bridge now! You hear that?

You want me off this bridge, you're gonna have to kill me!

You're gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself!

Look at the way I dance on it! I disrespect your bridge, Goatman! Goatman?

They're going to put my name in graffiti.

Children will come here and tell tales of me!!

#Shane Madej #bfu #buzzfeed unsolved #watcher

[dear-ao3]

i must've missed something. what's buzzfeed unsolved? buzzfeed's a pretty sucky company so i don't know how they could make anything that entertaining

buzzfeed unsolved is the only good thing about buzzfeed and after it finishes its last season this year I'm about 98% positive that buzzfeed itself will go under within 2 years.

its a YouTube series that was started in 2016 and the hosts are ryan bergara, the creator of the show and person who actually does all the work, and shane madej, the guy who just shows up and cracks some jokes.

there's two versions of the show, supernatural (where the investigate haunted places) and true crime (where they go through cold cases).

the show itself is absolutely fucking hilarious because of the way that the two of them host it.

ryan is absolutely terrified of ghosts, demons, anything supernatural, bears, and pretty much anything "old" (according to shane anyway). he is also a firm believer in all things paranormal.

shane on the other hand thinks all of it is bullshit. he goes into places and taunts demons and ghosts, regularly begs for entities to scratch him, rip his heart out, haunt him, kill him, all of that good stuff. his only two fears are avocado pits and accidentally getting addicted to heroin.

in short, they are the internets paranormal bad boys.

you may recognize them from this reaction image:

that is shane on the left and ryan on the right. and this is from the jonbenet ramsey episode.

the two of them do some pretty wild shit on the show:

-ryan filled a water gun with holy water when investigating the goat mans bridge in texas.

-in the same episode, to try and lure goatman out, shane said this, while dancing on goat mans bridge: "goatman I'm dancing on your bridge, its my bridge now! you want me off this bridge you're gonna have to kill me, you're gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself! look at the way i dance on it, i disrespect your bridge goatman. me and ryan bergara own your bridge now!...goatman! they're going to put my name in graffiti! children will come here and tell tales of me!" this then prompted so many people to try and change the goat mans bridge wikipedia to shane and ryans bridge that it is now a locked wiki page.

-literally every bit of evidence that ryan scrounges up about ghosts, shane immediately blames on the wind, or a shoe squeaking

-they tried to lure out bigfoot with beer

-shane has often encouraged people to eat the rich

-shane laid on a pentagram and yelled "here we go! rock and roll buckeroo!" while ryan was cowering in the corner

-ryan screamed like a madman during a solo investigation of the old city jail, even going as far as to curse out a chair. they could hear him from outside.

-when asked if shane was disappointed that they didn't know who killed jfk, he said that he wasn't and that if it was a conspiracy group they did a good job because its unsolved

-ryan is 5'10. shane is 6'4. shane makes short jokes about ryan CONSTANTLY

-generally they laugh disrespectfully at everything

-ryan thought that hair grew out of the skull

-during an investigation once shane yelled at the ghosts "i went to college you know! and my major was not ghost hunting! i think that's obvious!"

and they say fun stuff too:

from the goatman episode

from the mothman episode

i do not remember what episode this ones form

from the michelle von emster episode

from the black dahlia revisted

and then shane also came up with a whole saga called the hot daga about a hot dog witch and a lesbian holographic corn and some french fries named gene who sings in a band and mike soup all trying to save the universe from being blown up but that's neither here nor there.

#not a tag #from saph #buzzfeed unsolved

[unwantedfandomtrash]

Gabe and Jacks first date

Gabe: I'm just gonna go off...

Jack: Alright, cool

Gabe: Alright... FUCK YOU GOATMAN!

Jack: Holy SHIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BUILD YOUR WAY UP

Gabe: Nah nah, I just, right out the gate, why build up?

Jack: If you don't believe then there's nothing for you to be afraid of, right? You could be as big of a prick as you want, I'll stand over here.

Gabe: GOATMAN, I'm dancing on your bridge, it's my bridge now! You hear that? You want me off this bridge you're gonna have to kill me!

Jack: H O L Y S H I T

Gabe: You're gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself!

Jack: He did throw somebody off the bridge once.

Gabe: Look at the way I dance on it, I disrespect your bridge, Goatman!

Jack: He's taking names right now.

Gabe: You hear that, Goatman?

Jack: He's sharpening his little blades.

Gabe: Me and Jack Morrison own your bridge now!

Jack: I don't- No, don't loop me into your shit! Don't loop me in, I hate when you do this!

Gabe: Tell him. Tell him you're not part of this.

Jack: I'm not a part of his little charade!

Gabe: You're talking to Goatman now.

Jack:... I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

Gabe: It's Goatman entrapment... GOATMAN!

Jack: I'm not with him!

Gabe: They're gonna put MY name in graffiti! Children will come here and tell tales of ME!

#gabriel reyes #reaper #jack morrison #soldier 76 #overwatch #incorrect quotes #reaper76

[plethodontidae]

booty shorts that say, “FUCK YOU GOATMAN! goatman i’m dancing on your bridge, it’s MY bridge now! you hear that?? you want me off this bridge you’re gonna have to KILL ME! gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself! look at the way i dance on it! i disrespect your bridge, GOATMAN! you hear that goatman? me and ryan bergara own your bridge! yep, yep. well then tell him! tell him you’re not a part of this! you’re talking to goatman now. it’s goatman entrapment. goatman! they’re gonna put MY name in graffiti! children will come here and tell tales of ME!” on the ass.

#hanna talks #this is quite literslly the funniest thing ive ever posted #this took me like 30 mins appreciate it #this will be my first tat and its gonna be a tramp stamp #shane madej #buzzfeed unsolved #ryan bergara

[incorrectdreamsmpquotes]

Wilbur: Dream! I'm dancing on your bridge! It's my bridge now!

Tommy: Holy shit!

Wilbur: You hear that? You want me off this bridge you're gonna have to kill me. You're going to have to shoot me off this bridge yourself!

Tommy: He did shoot me off the bridge once.

Wilbur: Look at the way I dance on it. I disrespect your bridge, Dream! They're gonna put my name in graffiti. Children will come here and tell tales of me!

#dream smp #incorrect quotes #Wilbur soot #tommy innit #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #source: buzzfeed unsolved

[a13then]

hargreeves unsolved #8

klaus, while walking around on the Goatman's bridge: FUCK YOU GOATMAN! Goatman, I'M DANCING ON YOUR BRIDGE! IT'S MY BRIDGE NOW! YOU HEAR THAT? IF YOU WANT ME OFF THIS BRIDGE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KILL ME! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO THROW ME OFF THIS BRIDGE YOURSELF! LOOK AT THE WAY I DANCE ON IT! I DISRESPECT YOUR BRIDGE GOATMAN! YOU HEAR THAT? ME AND DIEGO OWN YOUR BRIDGE! THEY'RE GONNA PUT MY NAME IN GRAFFITI! CHILDREN WILL COME HERE AND TELL TALES OF ME!

#hargreeves unsolved #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #umbrella academy #source: buzzfeed unsolved #number two #number four #number six

[thecampfirestory]

The Gang at Goatman's Bridge

Patton: GOATMAN IM DANCING ON YOUR BRIDGE ITS MY BRIDGE NOW!

Virgil, laughing: holy shit

Patton: You hear that? If you want me off this bridge you're gonna have to kill me! You're gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself.

Logan: He did throw somebody off the bridge once

Patton: Look at the way I dance on it! I disrespect your bridge, Goatman. They're gonna put MY name in graffiti. Children will come here and tell tales of ME

#ask #campfire shenanigans

[caleb-doomed]

Star Wars as Buzzfeed Unsolved Quotes

Part 9: Grievous’s Bridge

Cody: you do what you gotta do, and i’ll do what i gotta do

Obi-Wan: i’m just gonna be as crude as possible here

Cody: cool

*pause*

Obi-Wan: fuCK YOU, GRIEVOUS!

Cody: holy shit dude!

Obi-Wan: is that good?

Cody: y-you-

Obi-Wan: GRIEVOUS i’m dancing on your bridge, it’s my bridge now!

Cody: *nervous laughter* h-holy shit

Obi-Wan: you hear that? you want me off this bridge you’re gonna have to kill me!

Cody: holy shit

Obi-Wan: you’re gonna have to throw me off this bridge yourself!

Cody: he did throw somebody off the bridge once.

Obi-Wan: look at the way i dance on it. i disrespect your bridge, grievous.

Cody: he’s taking names right now

Obi-Wan: you hear that, grievous?

Cody: he’s pulling out all his lightsabers.

Obi-Wan: me and Commander Cody own your bridge now!

Cody: i don’t- no, don’t loop me into your shit- stop looping me- i hate when you do this in sepratist places.

Obi-Wan: well then tell him. tell him you’re not part of this.

Cody: i’m NOT part of his little charade

Obi-Wan: you’re talking to grievous now.

Cody:...i see what you’ve done

Obi-Wan: it’s greivous entrapment. grievous!

Cody: i’m not with him.

Obi-Wan: they’re gonna put my name in graffiti!

Cody: ok-

Obi-Wan: children will come here and tell tales of ME!

#yeah that was the day obi wan just kinda snapped #neither obi wan nor cody has mentioned it to this day #star wars #the clone wars #source: buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed unsolved #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #general grievous

[howlingday]

Summer: Listen, I need to go somewhere. I won't be gone long, but I need you to stay here. Do you understand?

???: Yes.

Summer: Thank you. You were always my favorite. You know that, right?

???: Y-Yes.

Summer: Good. I have to leave now. Promise me you will never leave this place. Do you promise?

???: Yes!

Summer: Good-bye for now. (Kisses his cheek, Turns and walks away) I will miss you, Jaune.

It's raining again. I hate it when it rains. I get wet, and I'm soaked until the Sun dries me out. But it's all worth it, because she will be here soon. I can just feel it.

Those children are back. Will they throw rocks at me, or will they graffiti on me instead? It doesn't matter. It all washes off anyways. Plus, she will be back soon, so if I am dirty, she will tell me to wash myself off. I hope she laughs when she does it.

The grass is up to my knees now. It takes a long time for grass to grow this high. Is she coming ba- No! She will be back! She just... got lost. That's all. Perhaps I should search for her? ...No. She will be angry I left. I don't want her to be angry. I want her to be happy.

???: Yup, there he is.

???: Still up there?

???: Yup. How long has it been?

???: Dunno.

???: Ya think he knows?

???: How long it's been?

???: Yup. Try asking him.

???: Uh, hello?

Jaune: Hello.

???: Oh my God! He talked!

???: You can talk?!

Jaune: Yes.

???: Uh, why are you here? Are you waiting on something?

Jaune: Yes.

???: What are you waiting on?

Jaune: ...

???: Uh, does he talk, or just say yes?

???: No, he said hello, too. (Turns to Jaune) Right?

Jaune: Yes.

???: Hm... Maybe Mr. Xiao Long knows? (Jaune shifts to get closer to the boy) Gah!

???: (Pulls his friend back) Pumkin Pete's, mister! You can't scare me n' Clay like that!

Jaune: (Returns to ramrod straight) I'm sorry.

???: Well, at least he's got manners to say that. Why did he jump at us like that?

Clay: I dunno. Was it something I said?

Jaune: Yes.

Clay: It was?

Jaune: Yes.

Clay: What did I say?

Jaune: (Perfect imitation) It was?

Clay: No, I mean, what did I say to get your attention?

Jaune: (Perfect imitation) Uh, hello?

Clay: No, not-! Argh! Cliff! Help me out!

Cliff: Don't look at me! You obviously said something to him. (Walks around Jaune) All this rust... He's probably older than pa-pa!

Clay: Older than your pa-pa? (Whistles) That is old! Hey, remember what Mr. Xiao Long said?

Jaune: Yes.

Clay: What?! You know Mr. Xiao Long?!

Jaune: Yes!

Cliff: What did Mr. Xiao Long say?

Jaune: (Perfect imitation) I'm sorry, Summer, but, I can't accept your feelings. I was actually about to ask out Raven.

Clay: Woah! He knows Mr. Xiao Long!

Cliff: He's like one of those time capsules! We gotta tell Mr. Xiao Long!

Clay: (Snickers) Maybe we'll get extra credit!

Cliff: Maybe we will. Heck, it might put him in a better mood!

Clay: A better mood? Why?

Cliff: Didn't you hear? His daughter just left to go to Beacon!

Clay: Was it the pretty one or the other one?

Cliff: Um, the one with the blonde hair.

Clay: Oh, so not the pretty one.

Cliff: What? She's pretty!

Clay: Yeah, pretty lame! Haha!

Cliff: You take that back!

Clay: Make me! (Starts wrestling)

These children are fighting. Should I intervene? No. I will wait for Summer. She will come back soon, and she can stop them. But she might be angry that I didn't. I don't want her angry. Her orders were to stay here. No. My orders were to never leave. I can not leave while also not staying in this one spot. It is a smart move. She will be happy. She will smile.

Jaune: (Creaks as he steps free from his rooted position) Stop! (Boys seperate) Do not fight!

Cliff: (Runs away screaming) Help! It's free!

Clay: I'm too young to die! (Gets up and runs away, crying)

Jaune: (Stops) Wait!

They are gone. How long has it been since I moved? I am rusty. I creak when I move. Summer won't be happy. She won't smile.

...Oh! One of those boys left their bag. Summer says it is wrong to snoop, but Summer says it is okay to snoop, if parameters are satisfactory. Those boys are not present, and they are not Summer, therefore it is okay to snoop.

It's a newspaper.

"Local Hero Stops Dust Shop Robbery"

...She is cute. She looks like Summer.

"At 8:58 PM last night in a Vale Dust Shop, a local girl, Ruby Rose halted a robbery by men in black suits."

...Ruby Rose? She looks like Summer. But she is not Summer. But she has gray eyes. Summer has gray eyes. But she is not Summer. Her name is Ruby Rose. Is she Summer Rose's sister? No, Summer has no children. She looks like Summer...

But she's not Summer...

Clay: There he is, sir!

Cliff: Like we said!

???: ...It can't be.

Jaune: (Turns to face the voice) Taiyang Xiao Long.

Taiyang: Jaune... (Cautiously approaches) It's... It's you, isn't it?

Jaune: Yes.

Taiyang: And you remember me?

Jaune: Yes.

Cliff: We told you!

Clay: Can we get extra credit now?

Taiyang: (Turns around) Kids, go back to school. Tell the principal I won't be in today. (Looks at Jaune) My family is visiting.

Clay: You and him are family?

Taiyang: Yes.

Jaune: No.

Taiyang: Oh, boy. Just head back to school, and I'll give you both an A+. (The boys nod and run off) So this is where you've been. You were here this whole time?

Jaune: Yes.

Taiyang: Did Qrow put you up to this?

Jaune: No.

Taiyang: It wasn't Raven, was it?

Jaune: No.

Taiyang: (Sighs) It was Summer.

Jaune: Yes.

Taiyang: ...I'll get right to it then. Jaune, you've been here for 20 years.

20 years? No, that's not right. Summer wouldn't leave me. She loves me. Taiyang doesn't love her. Taiyang doesn't love me. Summer helps people. Taiyang hurt Summer. Taiyang made Summer cry.

Jaune: Liar.

Taiyang: It's true, but that's not all. Summer... Summer's dead, Jaune.

Summer is... dead? No. Summer is not dead. Summer is alive. Summer is in this newspaper. But she's not Summer. But Summer isn't dead.

Jaune: ...No.

Taiyang: Yes, she is, Jaune. She left one night 10 years ago and never came back.

Jaune: No. (Lifts newspaper) Summer.

Taiyang: (Looks at the paper, Shakes his head and smiles) No, that's not Summer. That's Ruby.

Jaune: (Looks at the newspaper) Ru... by... Ru.. by... Ruby... Ruby... (Lifts newspaper) Summer.

Taiyang: No, that's not Summer Rose. That's Ruby Rose. Summer's... daughter.

Jaune: (Looks at newspaper) Not Summer. Summer's... daughter. Ruby, Summer's daughter.

Taiyang: Yeah, Summer's daughter. (Gulps) And my daughter.

Ruby Rose is not Summer Rose. Ruby Rose is Summer Rose's daughter. Ruby Rose is Summer's daughter. Summer Rose is Ruby's mother. Taiyang Xiao Long is Ruby's father. Ruby Rose is the daughter of Taiyang Xiao Long and Summer Rose. Taiyang Xiao Long and Summer Rose...

Jaune: Liar.

Taiyang: No, it's true. She's really our daughter.

Jaune: No.

Taiyang: Yes, she is! Summer and I fell in love and-

Jaune: No.

Taiyang: Yes! We did!

Jaune: No. Liar.

Taiyang: Yes! True! I loved her so much, that we-

Jaune: (Perfect imitation) I'm sorry, Summer, but, I can't accept your feelings. I was actually about to ask out Raven.

Taiyang: I...

Jaune: Taiyang. No. Love. Summer. Liar.

Taiyang: I... I know I said that, but... That was years ago. I changed. I became a better person. Summer helped me become a better person! You believe that, don't you?

Jaune: Yes.

Taiyang: Good! Then you believe we fell in love.

Jaune: No. Liar.

Taiyang: (Pinches the bridge of his nose) God damn it...

Jaune: (Looks at newspaper) Ruby. Rose. Summer. Rose. Ruby's mother. Summer's daughter.

Taiyang: And my daughter.

Taiyang is Ruby's father? No. Taiyang is a liar. Taiyang hurt Summer. Taiyang made Summer cry. Summer didn't smile. Summer didn't laugh. Summer is Ruby's mother.

???: What the hell's all this?

Taiyang: Oh, great. Nice of you to show up, Qrow.

Jaune: (Looks at Qrow) Qrow Branwen.

Qrow: Oh, it's you. Haven't seen you in a while. What's it been? 20? 30 years?

Jaune: (Perfect imitation) 20 years.

Qrow: Huh. Figured one of those was right. Probably longer, since you and Summer snuck out one night and only she came back.

Taiyang: What?!

Summer. Left us? No. Taiyang is a liar. But Summer says to trust Qrow. Qrow isn't a liar. Taiyang hurt Summer. But Qrow says Summer left. Summer. Taiyang. Qrow. Summer. Taiyang. Qrow. Summer. Taiyang. Qrow. Summer. Taiyang. Qrow.

Jaune: Ruby Rose.

Qrow: Who, Squirt? You know about her, huh? How Summer and Tai hooked up and had her?

Jaune: Taiyang and Summer. Ruby Rose. Taiyang not lying. Ruby Rose is Summer Rose's daughter. Ruby Rose is Taiyang Xiao Long's daughter. Ruby Rose is Summer Rose and Taiyang Xiao Long's daughter.

Taiyang: Oh, you believe him, but you don't believe me?

Jaune: (Perfect imitation) I'm sorry, Summer, but, I can't accept your feelings. I was actually about to ask out Raven.

Taiyang: Will you stop that!?

Jaune: No.

Qrow: (Laughs) Ooh! Ouch! Sucks to be you, Tai!

Taiyang: Oh, shut it! What are you doing here anyways?

Qrow: Heard Squirt was leaving. Wanted to say bye before Ozpin got her for good.

Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin.

Jaune: Where is Summer?

Taiyang: I already told you! She's dead!

Jaune: Liar. (Taiyang growls)

Qrow: (Takes a swig, Walks over and places a hand on Jaune's shoulder) ...It's true. Summer Rose... Is dead.

Summer Rose is dead? No. But we can trust Qrow! But Taiyang is a liar. Ruby Rose is the daughter of Taiyang Xiao Long and Summer Rose. But Taiyang hurt Summer! But Ruby Rose.

Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin.

I will miss you, Jaune.

You were always my favorite.

Jaune: NO! (Punches Qrow, Grabs head and flails wildly) Summer is not dead! But we can trust Qrow Branwen! But Ruby Rose-! ARGH!

Qrow: (Gets up) Ugh... Still hits hard for a rust bucket.

Taiyang: He's out of control! How do we stop him?

Qrow: Don't look at me. He was Summer's toy.

You were always my favorite.

I will miss you, Jaune.

Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin. Ozpin.

Ruby Rose is the daughter of Summer Rose.

Summer Rose is the mother of Ruby Rose.

Wanted to say bye before Ozpin got her for good.

Jaune: Ozpin! (Turns around, Unsheathing his sword and shield) OZPIN! (Runs into the distance)

Taiyang: We have to stop him!

Qrow: Don't!

Taiyang: But-!

Qrow: I'll call Oz. He'll know what to do. In the meantime, I'll keep an eye on him. You just get back to town and keep your mouth shut about all this!

Taiyang: But-!

Qrow: Listen! If word gets out that a crazy robot is loose in Remnant gunning for Ozpin, Grimm are gonna swarm all over the place. Especially if she hears about this. You got it?

Taiyang: ...Fine. But if anything happens to Ruby, I will come for you!

Qrow: Oh, don't worry! He won't come within a mile of her.

Summer Rose. Summer Rose is dead. Ruby Rose is the daughter of Summer Rose. Summer Rose is the mother of Ruby Rose. Summer loves us. Summer loves Ruby. If Summer is the mother of Rose, does that mean Ruby Rose is our sister? No. Ruby Rose is the daughter of Summer Rose. Summer Rose is not the mother of Jaune. Summer Rose is the best friend of Jaune.

What would Summer do? Summer always said to think for myself. To be Jaune, not Summer. Be Jaune, not Qrow. Be Jaune. Be Jaune. Be Jaune. Who is Jaune? Jaune is the best friend of Summer Rose.

Summer Rose is kind. No. Summer Rose was kind. Summer Rose is dead. Summer Rose is dead. Ruby Rose is alive.

Ozpin.

"Wanted to say bye before Ozpin got her for good."

Ozpin wants Ruby Rose. Ruby Rose is the daughter of Summer Rose. Summer Rose liked Ozpin. Jaune does not like Ozpin.

It is raining again.

(Inspired by Drift Away / Let's Go in the Garden)

#rwby #jaune arc #summer rose #taiyang xiao long #qrow branwen #drift away #let's go in the garden

[deathshallbethelastenemy]

BuzzFeed unsolved where everything's the same but instead it's Claude and Lysithea.

Claude: FUCK YOU, GOATMAN!

Lysithea: holy shit

Claude: i'm dancing on your bridge! It's my bridge now! You want me off this bridge you're going to have to kill me! You're going to have throw me off this bridge yourself!

Lysithea: he did throw someone off the bridge once.

Claude: Look at the way I dance on it, I disrespect your bridge, goatman! It's Lysithea's and mine bridge now!

Lysithea: don't loop me in your shit, claude! I hate when you do that!

Claude: well then tell him you're not part of this.

Lysithea: I'm not part of this charade!

Claude: you're talking to the goatman.

Lysithea: *instant regret* I've seen what you've done...

Claude: it's goatman entrapment.

Lysithea: I'm not part of this!

Claude: goatman! They're going to put my name in graffiti. Children will come and tell tales of me!

Also

Claude: maybe the real treasure is the friends we made along the way.

Lysithea: No, I want my fucking gold.

Also

Claude: I've connected the dots

Lysithea: you didn't connect shit

Claude: I've connected them

Also

Lysithea: it led me to terrifying discovery that the demon was only posing as a little girl when in fact the only person who lived in this house with the name sallie was a black woman.

Claude: that's demon's a racist! It was like, " oh a black lady lived here. I can't haunt with that!"

Lysithea: I don't think the demon-

Claude: "I know I'll make her a little white girl. I'll give little blonde pigtails too."

Lysithea: the demon-

Claude: fuck this demon.

Lysithea: I mean the demon only wants to feed off souls so it wouldn't come out with the horns, it would come out as a little kind. It makes sense to me.

Claude: whatever, demon's racist. I don't respect this demon.

Also

Lysithea: don't try it demon

Also

Claude: *laying down on a pentagram* rock and roll buckaroo

Lysithea: he's lost his mind

Claude: turn on the light if you want to eat my heart out.

Also

Claude: what did he say again?

Lysithea: no, I'm not going help you work shop our death!

Also

Claude: Rhea and teach told us not to talk to you but I think you guys are swell.

Lysithea: if you like the idiot talking to you turn the light on.

Claude: *crouching down to see the flash light*

Lysithea: you're fucking insane.

Claude: if you don't like us turn on the light

Lysithea: oh no no please dont

Flashlight: *turns on*

Claude: *laughing*

Lysithea: *screaming* WHAT THE FUCK!

Lysithea: *frantically searching* where's my holy water?!

Claude: *laughter intensifies* wHeRe's mY hoLy waTEr?!

How could forget the most iconic one

Lysithea: in our going investigation into the question are ghost real?

Claude: *shakes head at camera* nope

#claude von riegan #lysithea ordelia #buzzfeed unsolved #au #modern au #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #golden deer #hahha funny