#…yeah that’s what I thought. for a second I thought I misremembered cause well… your argument wouldn’t make ANY sense otherwise :)’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skinsharpenedteeth · 3 years

Text

Coming Up Easy - First Sightings

I am *SO* sorry this is so hella late this week. It's been... a fucking week. CW: One mention of a homophobic slur.

You can also read this on AO3!

CUE - First Sightings

Unpacking boxes was not one of Alex’s favorite activities. He hadn’t had many when he’d moved because he hadn’t wanted to rent a truck or deal with shipping things, so the twelve boxes he’d been able to load into the late nineties Ford Explorer encompassed all his worldly possessions. He’d finally gotten a chance to start unpacking the miscellaneous boxes after a trip to Ikea for bookshelves, a bed, and a couch. Furthermore, he’d promised himself he’d explore his new city more and find second-hand shops for other household furniture and accessories, but the bookshelves would be enough to finally clear away the last of his unpacked boxes.

Alex opened the last box and looked inside. His heart softened a little as he saw the small shoebox of photographs he kept. Promising himself he’d look through it later, he unpacked the few other knick-knacks out of the box and took them to the bookshelves to start placing them. The box didn’t reenter his mind until after dinner when he found himself lounging across his new sofa with a cold beer in his hand. The box stared at him from the floor where he’d left it. Setting down his beer on the floor, he quickly got up and grabbed the box, and brought it back over to the couch. He flipped open the top and gingerly picked up the pile closest to him.

Michael and him in the desert with guitars. Liz, Max, Michael, and him at a church car wash. Michael, Kyle, and him all leaning against a bathroom wall in various stages of being phenomenally sick from drinking too much. Him and Michael hanging out at the UFO Emporium. Him and Michael eating pizza and playing video games at Max and Isobel’s. Him and Michael in college at a frat party. Him and Michael. Him and Michael. Him and Michael…

It hit Alex quite suddenly that basically since he and Michael had become friends they’d been fairly inseparable. They’d dated other people and had friends that the other didn’t like, but as a rule, it was always the two of them against the world and it had been since they were fifteen. He picked up his phone and snapped a photo of the photograph he held in his hand where they were sixteen, pimply, awkward, and bent over laughing outside the high school band room.

Me 8:46 p.m.>> Who the fuck are these dorks? <<Picture sent at 8:46 p.m.>> <<Michael 8:50 p.m.>> Holy shit, look at those nerds!! <<Michael 8:51 p.m.>> Though I gotta say, the emo one is pretty hot. If I were sixteen, I’d definitely have a crush on him. Me 8:52 p.m.>> You did not have a crush on me at 16! I was so tragic! <<Michael 8:53 p.m.>> You were not. You were fucking feral. You took exactly zero percent shit from anyone. It was hot as fuck. Me 8:55 p.m.>> You are definitely misremembering the amount of bullshit I put up with. <<Michael 9:00 p.m.>> Do you know what you were doing the first time I saw you?

Alex cast back in his memory. He remembered the first time he was aware of Michael, but not necessarily the first time Michael was aware of him. He always assumed it was at the same time.

Me 9:02 p.m.>> Uh? Scribbling emo song lyrics on my bio lab notebook? <<Michael 9:03 p.m.>> Nope. <<Michael 9:03 p.m.>> You were having a fight with Kyle during gym because he tagged your gym shirt with the word “faggot” in pink sharpie.

“Mr. Manes, you cannot wear shirts with inappropriate text on them. This is the gym. White shirts only,” Coach Heim called at Alex as soon as he walked out of the locker room and started towards where the rest of the class was lounging in the middle of the basketball court. Alex could see Kyle elbowing his football buddies and smirking, barely containing their laughter. Alex felt his face grow hot with embarrassment and fury. He kept walking towards the group.

“MR. MANES! GO CHANGE YOUR SHIRT!” the coach yelled, putting more authority into his deep baritone. He was a fit, balding adult who generally was an alright guy, but Alex was swelling with indignation. He stopped a few feet away from the group so he didn’t have to yell to be heard.

“I don’t have another shirt, sir. This is my gym shirt,” Alex explained through clenched teeth. As the rest of the class got a good look at the words emblazoned across his chest and stomach, he heard them begin to snicker and giggle quietly.

“Well, you can’t wear that one. You’re smarter than this, Alex, why would you wear this out of the locker room?” the coach asked, not sounding unkind. He shot the gathered students a dirty look and they quieted their laughter.

“Because it’s all I had to wear and it’s not my fault it was defaced. Some pink-fingered fucking COWARD of a football player must’ve thought it’d be REAL FUNNY to break into my locker and--” Alex started, voice growing louder as he let the heat behind his cheeks infuse his voice.

“I did no such thing!” Kyle yelled, cutting in on Alex. Coach Heim looked over at him, eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to say something, maybe to tell Kyle to sit down, but as soon as Kyle stepped forward away from his buddies, Alex pounced. He landed the first hit on Kyle’s cheek, the meaty smack of their skin satisfying to him. Kyle shook it off and came at him. Before he knew it, they were rolling on the ground hitting each other as hard as they could in anyplace visible. The pain was nothing new for Alex and he kept his head clear as he tried to aim for spots that would hurt long after he was pulled off.

Too soon, arms were wrapped around his chest and a much bigger body than his was pulling him back and off of where he’d pinned Valenti to the ground. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, his ears still ringing with rage, but he could see the thin trickle of blood from Kyle’s split lip and he felt himself smile at the shock on everyone else’s face as they watched him get dragged back. He would not take Kyle’s shit this year. He would not take anyone’s shit.

Alex rubbed his fingers across his eyebrows and sighed deeply. He had been so ready to cause someone else pain by then. His dad had only gotten worse towards him when Kyle started to pull away because it meant that his “unnaturalness” was evident to everyone. His fight then and the fights in the following year always had more to do with his dad than with him being ashamed of being gay. He put the photos down in the box and went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. His phone chimed as he unscrewed the top and after a deep drink, he checked the message.

<<Michael 9:13 p.m.>> Uh oh, you’ve left me on read. You okay? Me 9:14 p.m.>> I’m fine. Sorry. Just got wrapped up in my head for a minute. Me 9:15 p.m.>> How did you see that? You weren’t in my gym class? <<Michael 9:16 p.m.>> I was hiding under the bleachers skipping english. Me 9:17 p.m.>> THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY! <<Michael 9:17 p.m.>> Right? Nothing to do anyway. It was fine. It’s in the past. I graduated high school, didn’t I? No harm, no foul.

Alex laughed quietly to himself, staring at the message screen. He went back to the couch and flopped back down across the cushions with a sigh.

Me 9:20 p.m.>> You did. Even graduated college. I guess you’re right. <<Michael 9:21 p.m.>> When do you remember seeing me for the first time? Me 9: 23 p.m.>> I feel like it was biology when we were lab partners. I was supposed to be with Max, remember? <<Michael 9:24 p.m.>> Yeah, I was with Liz. Max had no chill back then. How the fuck did it take Liz until senior year to notice that he liked her? Me 9:35 p.m.>> Had no chill? *Has* no chill.

“Michael! MI-CHAEL!” Max hissed loudly from his seat next to Alex two rows behind where Liz was sitting. The class period was just getting started and everyone was still milling around trying to find their assigned seats. Michael looked over his shoulder at Max who was looking desperately at him. Michael mouthed ‘what?!’ and gave Max an irritated glare.

“Switch with me!” Max whisper screamed. Alex was smirking into his notebook as he watched the exchange through the side of his eye. He hadn’t really noticed the curly-haired boy before, but the eye roll he gave Max was epic. He started to turn back to the front when Max whispered again. “I’ll pay you!”

Michael turned back around abruptly and narrowed his eyes.

“How much?” Michael asked, not whispering but keeping his voice low enough not to carry to the teacher who was about to start taking roll. Max looked desperately towards the front of the class at Liz’s back where she was ignoring what was happening beside her in favor of actually paying attention. She was about the only one.

“Fifty,” Max called out.

“Seventy-five and you buy my lunch for a week,” Michael countered. Alex was highly amused. Max darted his eyes over to Liz’s back again and nodded. Michael grabbed his stuff and moved quickly towards the back of the classroom while Max grabbed his stuff to go forward.

“Sorry!” Max called out to Alex softly before he left. Alex watched him slide into the seat next to Liz smoothly and take out his notebook. She looked over and smiled at him in confusion, turning to look back at where Michael was now taking his seat next to Alex. Alex looked over at him and was struck full in the face with his mischievous grin.

“That sucker, I would’ve done it for twenty-five,” Michael shared with Alex conspiratorially, leaning closer to him while he spoke so his voice wouldn’t reach Max’s ears. Alex felt himself blushing a little at the somewhat flirtatious smirk Michael was giving him. He’d been aware of Michael, but hadn’t really ever paid him any mind. Now he was near him, he could see the interesting light brown of his eyes somewhere between gold and green. He also smelled a little like lake water and the woodsy, spicy deodorant Alex had smelled on Mr. Valenti. It was weirdly comforting.

“So he has a thing for Liz or is he that afraid of failing bio that badly? I’m not stupid,” Alex asked, clearing his throat and trying not to seem offended by Max’s desperation to switch partners.

“Oh, he has a major thing for Liz. It’s gross. Like, she’s pretty, don’t get me wrong. But he’s been writing Mr. and Mrs. Ortecho-Evans in his notebook since third grade or some shit like that,” Michael revealed, taking out his own bio notebook from his bag and setting in on the lab table in front of him. Alex took in what he was saying and nodded.

“So it’s not cause everyone says I’m gay?” Alex asked, voice low and a little nervous to see Michael’s reaction. Michael looked over at him, eyebrows drawn together and something like sympathy passing over his expression before he responded.

“No, man. Max doesn’t give a shit about that and neither do I. You weren’t planning on trying to date him, were you?” Michael asked, shooting him a grin. Alex grinned back, relieved to hear that someone in the school who was so upstanding and obviously straight like Max wasn’t a complete jerk. Michael didn’t seem too bad either.

“Nah. He’s not my type. I like musicians,” Alex joked, shooting Michael a side-grin.

“You don’t say? Do you play?” Michael asked, eyes forward now in a semblance of paying attention to the teacher. Alex glanced up towards the board, but continued slouching over his lyrics notebook.

“Guitar,” he replied shortly as the teacher started explaining their first lab assignment.

“Cool. Me too,” Michael said. Alex could see him studying him out of the corner of his eye. “We should jam sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

And they did jam together eventually. A week later they’d gotten together and Alex had learned that Michael did not know one end of a guitar from the other. He’d let Michael borrow his brother Greg’s guitar and then taught him everything he knew over the course of the next three months.

Me 9:40 p.m.>> Man. Who knew we’d still be friends this long after. <<Michael 9:45 p.m.>> I did. Once you taught me to play guitar, you were stuck with me for life. There’s an unbreakable bond built when one dude teaches another dude how to finger... Me 9:46 p.m.>> Jesus Christ. That was terrible. <<Michael 9:47 p.m.>> Bet you’re laughing though. Me 9:48 p.m.>> I plead the fifth. Also, I gotta get to bed. Early day tomorrow. <<Michael 9:50 p.m.>> That’s some responsible adult behavior right there. Gross. Me 9:51 p.m.>> You’re gross. <<Michael 9:52 p.m.>> I am gross. I’m going to take a shower and change that, however. When will you be young and fun again? Me 9:53 p.m. >> Shut up. Go take your shower. <<Michael 9:53 p.m.>> Fine. Go to bed. Think about me in bed. Me 9:54 p.m.>> *You* think about me in bed. <<Michael 9:55 p.m.>> Always do. Night Me 9:56 p.m.>> Night.

Alex heaved himself off the couch and went to his room. The apartment always seemed so dark and lonely when he finished talking with Michael. He needed to work on making friends. That would help him not miss him so much.

#coming up easy #malex wip #malex #coming up easy update #michael guerin #alex manes #fwb malex

35 notes · View notes

unforth · 3 years

Note

Hello unforth! Thank you for your wonderful blog, and the the untamed art blog!! I followed you years ago for destiel, and you were one of the people that got me into the untamed. I watched it last summer and have been binging various cdramas ever since!! I had a question for you about reading. After watching the untamed I read the novel, and didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I think you’re someone who prefers the show, but if not, sorry if I’m remembering wrong… hoping you understand. I want to try reading other novels but I found the romance in mdzs to be kinda off. I guess I’m wondering if you have a recommendation for the best novel you’ve read so far? It would be great if it’s one with fanfic but if not I’m still curious to try! I hope this didn’t come off as rude about the untamed, it’s just a personal preference. Thanks in advance, and thanks again for all your work in fandom!

Howdy! *waves*

You have not misremembered, I definitely prefer the Untamed to the novel of MDZS (and I'm with you, no shade on people with different preferences, of course!). I also didn't enjoy the novel of MDZS as much as I thought I would, though I think some of that was because I read the Exiled Rebels Scanalations translation which - again, no shade, translating that was a HUGE job and kudos to them - but I do here from native speakers that some questionable translation choices were made, which can detract from some people's enjoyment of the novel (and can enhance other people's, it just depends how those translation choices relate to each person's personal likes and dislikes).

Now, I can tell you what I've read and what I've thought of each one, happily - I don't know what turned you off about MDZS specifically, beyond an aspect of the relationship dynamic, so it'll be hard for me to say which of these might appeal to you more? But, here's a list of which danmei novels I've read, and my opinion. The list is shorter than you'd think - danmei novels are long and I read slow, lol.

Note that all of these end happy, for various definitions of "happy," and the main ship is canon in all of them. Also note that I tried to avoid spoilers, but sometimes it's hard to even talk about the ship dynamic without some mild spoilers.

These are (roughly) in the order I've read them; I just finished the last a few days ago. All art is by the official artists, but I'm not always sure what their names are, sorry - I've tried to figure them out for my art blogs but it's REALLY hard.

1. Mo Dao Zu Shi, by MXTX.

(since I'm writing this post for you, and you're already familiar with it, I'm not putting in TW and plot)

My take: I figure knowing my opinion of MDZS will help you assess all this? There are things I loved about MDZS, including the book, but MDZS is still obviously trying to figure out pacing. Whereas in SVSSS, the storyline doesn't always flow that smoothly and the ending is rushed, in MDZS in my opinion the biggest issue is that she clearly didn't plan some things ahead. For example, Miangmian and Wen Ning are both introduced within a few pages of when they'll be needed to Do Shit. It shows that she hadn't quite worked everything out as she was going, and every once in a while was like, "shit shit I need a character for this thing" and hastily added them. The plot itself is better paced, though, though I could have wished for a less talky denouement. When it was the only one I read, I also often thought, "this author doesn't understand consent," and, "this author has kinks I don't share." Now that I've read all three of her books, I completely retract the first one. MXTX absolutely understands consent, and was intentionally playing with it in MDZS. Not sure if the evidence of that got lost in translation, or what, but...yeah.

Relationship Dynamic: ...the second of those opinions, I still kinda feel. The consensual non-con is just not really my thing, like I'm okay with it in small doses? And I don't love some aspects of Lan Wangji's domineering attitudes and Wei Wuxian's act of bare tolerating it. And don't get me wrong, now that I'm more familiar with her work, I think it was an intentional writing choice and I also think they're both largely roleplaying it a lot of the time...but I still don't personally enjoy it much.

2. Scum Villain Self-Saving System, by MXTX.

Genre: modern transmigration into a fantasy xianxia world.

Where to find it: English translation by BC Novels | donghua season 1

Trigger warnings for: graphic descriptions of suffering, non-con of the "fuck or die" variety, and body horror...I can't think of anything else rn?)

Plot: SVSSS is MXTX's first novel, and is a satire of classic stag harem novels. Shen Yuan, the protagonist and half the main ship, is reading a serialized web novel by "Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky" about a demon named Luo Binghe who has a harem of over 3,000 women and has done all kinds of ghastly awful things. He hates this novel but has read all, like, 3 million words of it or something, and trolls every chapter...until one gets him so angry that he dies...and then he wakes up in the book right around when the book starts, in the body of one of the early antagonists, a cultivator named Shen Qingqiu who abuses a young, innocent Luo Binghe physically and emotionally and, ultimately, is horribly tortured to death. Shen Yuan, in Shen Qingqiu's body, thus sets out to not be horribly tortured to death by Luo Binghe. Hijinks ensue.

My Take: In terms of my opinion of it...SVSSS secured for me that MXTX is a much more brilliant author than I thought when I'd only read MDZS. She understands tropes and subverts them brilliantly throughout the story, and from a writing standpoint, I was impressed with her. However, from a plot standpoint...she's got all the ideas but hasn't, imo, yet figured out how exactly to bring them all together. The pacing is off at times, and the ending felt abrupt to me. It's also the only danmei I've read where I ship a side ship more than the primary one (which is, of course, Shen Yuan (as Shen Qingqiu)/Luo Binghe. (also, oops...I read SVSSS after TGCF and just put them in the wrong order, oh well, not gonna change it now.)

Relationship Dynamic: In terms of relationship weirdness...it's hard to sort in that regard, because, like, it's supposed to be weird? I think it's a really interest book but I'm not sure I'd recommend it in your situation. Bingqiu's main dynamic is...uh...tolerance and obsession? They're kinda hard to describe. Shen Yuan often seems like he's just kinda putting up with Luo Binghe, whereas Luo Binghe is...god. So hard to describe, lmao. He's a big clumsy ox in a museum full of porcelain dishes and he really, really loves his Shizun. (also note that Shen Qingqiu is Luo Binghe's teacher. They don't get together until after they're not master/student, but if that's not your thing, another reason to avoid.)

3. Tian Guan Ci Fu, by MXTX.

(art is by Starember)

Genre: historical China (loosely), xianxia (note that I'm still figuring out exactly how stuff gets classified so sorry if I get one wrong, but I think I kinda get it???)

Where to Access It: English Translation by the astonishing yummysuika | manhua (this is an official translation by Bilibili! It's a few chapters behind the actual release, but still...) | donghua season 1 is on Netflix | a live action adaptation is juuuuust getting started on script reading and filing

Trigger warnings for: MCD, temporary MCD, body horror, graphic violence, epic levels of mind fuckery, uh...genocide?...again, racism/colorism, probably other stuff, sorry, I can't take as long as I'd like to for this post so I'm not being as thorough as I oughta be.

Plot: TGCF is about Xie Lian, an 800 year old man, and it commences at the moment when, unexpectedly, he ascends to godhood...for the third time. Unfortunately, when he ascends, he accidentally does some damage in Heaven, and he has to repay that, so he gets sent back to earth to deal with a ghost who's been causing some problems. Hijinks ensue...and then fucktons of angst ensue...then more hijinks...then more angst...and basically it broke my heart like four times and I am grateful for it every day? The main ship is Xie Lian and a ghost named Hua Cheng, but it's hard to even talk about without some spoilers because of some identity shenanigans. (they're VERY mildly identity shenanigans, but still).

My Take: So, you asked what my favorite of the danmei novels I've read is? It's TGCF. TGCF is one of my favorite novels ever, and it has a growing fandom, a donghua that's on Netflix, and a live action that's just starting to film. TGCF is the culmination of the skills MXTX developed through her first two works, imo. She clearly plotted it out all from the start, and while Book 1 especially often seems kind of random - lots of elements are introduced and then kinda...apparently...forgotten? And never explained? But she actually DOES bring it ALL together and it's flat-out masterful. I'm a big fan, obviously.

Relationship Dynamic: it again depends on your preferences and what you didn't like about MDZS, and there's no way to talk about it without spoilers, so consider yourselves warned. Xie Lian ascended to godhood first at the age of 17, and right around then he also saved the life of a 10 year old boy...and that boy is Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng is a follower of Xie Lian's, in that Xie Lian is literally a god, and Hua Cheng is literally one of his followers. However, they're separated for almost 800 years, so the age difference is largely irrelevant, and while some people complain about Hua Cheng's behavior being stalkery and obsessive, I honestly think they're dead wrong. It's more like when you read a celebrity/fan AU, and it starts weird, and then they really genuinely fall in love. Like, the fan may have been in love the whole time, and how they felt about the celebrity before they really met might feel slightly ooky, but it's how they act AFTER they meet their idol that matters more, and...yeah, Hua Cheng is great, they're both great, antis fight me. Xie Lian is easily one of my favorite characters EVER, he is all my favorite tropes in one horribly, wonderfully fucked up martyristic idealistic sweet kind laid back package. I would kill for him, lmao. In terms of their relationship dynamic...they love and respect each other? There's really nothing that weird about it other than the aspects of the "fan" Hua Cheng that get revealed over time - and he's always terrified that when Xie Lian realizes what a fanboy he was, Xie Lian will be upset or disgusted, but of course Xie Lian never is. They adore each other. It's glorious. Highly recommend. :D There's also no explicit content in TGCF (unlike MXTX's other two books).

4. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (aka 2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat.

Genre: original world, xianxia, time travel, dimension hopping, it's so many things, 2ha is so hard to describe lmao

Where to Access it: English Translation by the amazing yummysuika (things are complicated, though, and it's not finished) | a manhua is in the works and should be out this year | a live action called "Hao Yixing" or "Immortality" is already filmed and could theoretically air literally any time cause it's completely ready, but when will it actually come? Who knows!

Trigger warnings: all of them. Literally. MCD, temporary MCD, murder, suicide, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, rape/non-con, abuse, manipulation, gas lighting, torture, graphic violence, body horror, literal graphic onscreen horrible blood murder of a small child (I had to skip that chapter), teacher/student relationship sort of but not exactly, probably other stuff, this book is dark as fuck, and a lot of these tags apply to behavior of one half of the main ship toward the other, but...it's complicated, and there are reasons things happen, and those reasons aren't "well they're just a bad person."

Plot: This is another one that's hard to describe because there's sooooo much mind fuckery going on, but I'll try. 2ha is about Mo Ran, who rises to be the Emperor of the World, Taxian Jun, but slaughtering all who oppose him...and who is so miserable that he commits suicide, only to wake up in his 16 year old body. This is pretty much perfect from Mo Ran's point of view, because he's gone back so far that the love of his life, his fellow disciple Shi Mei, is still alive. He has a chance to fix everything that went wrong, starting with preventing his awful evil Shizun, Chu Wanning, from letting Shi Mei die.

Spoilers: the main ship in this book is Mo Ran/Chu Wanning.

Hijinks do NOT ensue. There are no hijinks in 2ha. It is all pain all the time (but I swear it ends happy).

My Take: ...well, from a structural standpoint there are some pacing issues. The book is incredibly long (over 300 chapters, over 1 million words) and there are definitely some chunks that could just be excised and it'd still be fine. However, other than that, it's pretty amazing and absolutely masterful how it's plotted. As a reader you'll spend 100+ chapters thinking you know what's going on, and who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are, and how they relate to each other...and then Meatbun starts in on revealing what's ACTUALLY going on and she then spends 200 chapters repeatedly punching you in the face! Like, I went in knowing a LOT of spoilers, because the tags were so dark that I felt that for my mental health it was important I have a general idea what was going on, and I STILL ended up sobbing my eyes out (and I am NOT an easy crier and don't usually cry at books) over something I knew was coming.

Relationship Dynamic: That's about the only thing that the title accurately conveys about this book. "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun," sounds so soft and fluffy, right? That's how they get you, ha. But, Mo Ran is absolutely a big dumb husky who wants to do the right thing (well, sometimes he does) but just completely fails depressingly often. When he sees someone he likes come in the front door he WILL jump all over them and bark in their face as his way of trying to communicate affection. And Chu Wanning is equally absolutely a cat. He is emotionally constipated, poor at expressing himself, uptight, touch starved, desperate for affection, and so lonely my chest hurts when I think about him. And for how they relate to each other...well, picture that big dog greeting a loved one at the door...except that loved one is the most hide-bound proud white cat you can imagine.

That's their dynamic.

(However, also...there are multiple timelines at play, and Taxian Jun does some truly awful things to "his" Chu Wanning in the original timeline, and many of these things are graphically described, and while it's ultimately all explained, it still all HAPPENS, so if you're going to have trouble reading fucktons of abuse between the main ship, I would not recommend this book)

5. Thousand Autumns (Qianqiu) by Meng Xi Shi.

Genre: historical China (like, references actual people, as far as I can tell), xianxia

Where to Access it: ...reading Thousand Autumns is HARD, it's split over like four websites/translators. This Carrd can kinda help? I can get you the rest if you want | donghua season 1 | I heard there's a live action in the works? But I don't know more than that.

Trigger warnings: graphic violence, mentions/threats of sexual violence (but it's all stopped before things really go wrong), starvation, description of child death (from starvation), near-death, emotional/mental abuse, major semi-permanent character injury, god, minor character death, they're major characters depending on your pov, I can't actually think of others, after writing about 2ha it feels positively fluffy). Note that there's not really any explicit content, just implications of smut, and not til basically the very end and extras.

Plot: Yan Wushi, sect leader of a demonic sect, has just come out of an extended seclusion to improve his cultivation when he and one of his disciples come across a man who is wounded to the point of near death. This turns out to be Shen Qiao, the sect leader of Mount Xuandu. When Shen Qiao awakens from his wounds, he's lost his memory, AND he's blind, and Yan Wushi decides it would be great fun and an excellent use of his time to fuck with Shen Qiao by trying to turn him evil - because Yan Wushi is certain that ALL people are inherently evil, and shattering Shen Qiao's veneer of righteousness will just help prove that.

Spoilers: it's not a veneer.

Not spoilers: Not many hijinks ensue, but there are a few hijinks, and even when it's not hijinxed, it's still not that painful...usually.

My Take: despite that synopsis, a lot of the plot of Thousand Autumns is actually political, and I like political plots, so I liked that aspect of it. However, it has some serious pacing issues imo, and it's also hard to read in English atm because it's not fully translated; it's close, now, much closer than when I read it a few months ago, so it'll be easier to read soon. Or maybe I shouldn't say it's pacing problems, but rather, it's more of a sequence of multiple major plots, strung together, with the growing relationship between Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao playing out in the background. I think if I'd known there was no "one big plot" that would have actually helped me, because it kept feeling like, "Oh, THIS is the main thing," but it never was. Things would feel climactic...except then there'd be more. So it's probably better to actually think of it as more...episodic? And the episodes/stories build, and interrelate, and do have a culmination, but not all of them directly tie in, and not all the threads end up coming together/getting resolved.

Relationship Dynamic: early on, Yan Wushi is definitely abusive and manipulative, intentionally so, and I would argue that, imo, Shen Qiao falls for it. However, mid-way through, there's some big reveals, and after that when they're reunited Shen Qiao no longer takes any shit and Yan Wushi continues to act like he doesn't care even when he clearly does. They're not a typical ship in ANY WAY, and I'd say their relationship is more founded on mutual respect than on love. Indeed, in the author's notes at one point MXS actually says they doesn't see them as the kind of couple to ever exchange love declarations, and I thought that was really interesting and it really helped me to understand how they worked together because I'll own I struggled with at times. Yan Wushi is self-interested, often cruel, and ethically and morally dubious. Shen Qiao, on the other hand, could probably ascend to Daoist godhood, he's so pure. Yet...they DO work. I'd say "opposites attract" but that's ALSO not their main trope, not exactly. They're a VERY hard ship to explain, and I know some people who've read the whole book and still don't really...get them...and I've had to really think about them to wrap my head around them...but the more I've thought about them, the more I like them.

6. Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo.

Genre: historical fiction set in either actual China or make-believe China, I'm not sure if this is directly incorporated any real people

Where to Access It: English Translation by Perpetual Daydreams | manhua (untranslated, I'm not sure if there's anyone translating it into English) | I think there's a live action in the works? Not sure beyond that though.

Trigger Warnings: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation, drug addiction, drug abuse, chronic illness (different character than the drugs), manipulation, abusive, awful parents and parental figures (not all, but definitely some), some homophobia (but way less than there could have been), probably other stuff

Plot: After 7 years away, Zhong Wan returns to the capital of the Empire with the three children of his benefactor, the seven-years-dead Prince Ning. Prince Ning was executed for treason against the previous Emperor, and Zhong Wan has done all he can to protect and raise the three kids, but he's got a lot of worries about returning to the capital and what could happen to his charges if they get pulled into the politics surrounded the Emperor. But, even worse, he's got even more worries about being reunited with Yu She, nephew of the Emperor, with whom he has more than a little history...and about whom he has been lying for the past 7 years, claiming that he is Yu She's lover, in a bid to help use Yu She's reputation to protect Prince Ning's children.

Hijinks ensue.

And so does a political nightmare.

My Take: TYQHM was a hard book to get into because there are just so many characters and it's all about politics - this is NOT a xianxia or wuxia novel, and these characters are NOT cultivators. There's basically nothing supernatural in the whole book; instead, it's about Zhong Wan and Yu She figuring out their own histories, and accepting each other, while trying to survive in a political world that increasingly wants both of them dead. However, I adore political plots, and when all was said and done I really enjoyed it, and I'm trying tooth and nail to claw other people into the fandom with me, so far with basically no success. It only has like 15 works in English on AO3. And so not only does it not fit that requirement of yours...

Relationship Dynamic: ...I think you would also probably not like the relationship dynamic? Zhong Wan is a bit like Wei Wuxian-as-Mo Xuanyu, except more...genuinely? Like, it's his actual personality, not an act, in quite the same way. I don't mean the "flamboyantly gay" part...usually...he definitely has his moments...but he's just...like, he's been through so much that he'll basically say anything, and drag himself entirely through the mud, to distract people who might hurt the three kids (they're like 16, 13, 13, now I think? It was never THAT clear to me, tbh...certainly, all are at least 10...) and, later, Yu She. He has zero face, and doesn't mind having negative face when he feels the situation demands it...and Yu She, on the other hand, has MAJOR depression issues, is sure he deserves nothing, and mostly wants to destroy everyone around him and then kill himself, at least until Zhong Wan starts giving him a reason to live again. But, more than that...Zhong Wan is like the fucking epitome of a bratty subby bottom. He wants to get fucked SO bad. And Yu She is an incredibly reluctant dom, hilariously so at times, uncomfortably/manipulative so at others. When all was said and done, I was pretty fond of them both, but there were definitely moments that made me grimace, and given what you say of how you felt about MDZS, I think this one is less likely to be to your taste?

Bonus 7: Guardian by Priest. I never finished the novel version of Guardian because the translation had some issues that caused me not to enjoy it, so I won't get into it too much, but again, Guardian is a very different book than any of the others, because it's modern fantasy(ish, like, it's still deeply embedded in Daoist-related tropes but it's more "magic spells" and less "cultivation." Like, in terms of what it's like, it felt more like Japanese modern Onmyoji style stories, to me, than it felt like the ancient Chinese wuxia/xianxia cultivation stories.). I'm not gonna get into lots of details, because I read part of the book more than a year ago, and have seen the show (which is VERY different) like three times, so I can hardly even remember what they're like in the novel. There was definitely some weirdness, though? If you're potentially interested, I'd suggest starting with the drama instead. The plot for that is...

Plot: Zhao Yunlan heads a Special Investigation Unit in the human world tasked with maintaining a treaty between humans and the dixigren ("undergrounders") who are (in the show) aliens (in the book...it's the world of the dead). While doing this job, he keeps running into this professor, Shen Wei, who definitely knows more than he oughta.

Hijinks ensue.

And then it murders you with feels.

The live action streams from YouTube - here.

(Warning: uh, I don't want to give spoilers, but my "guaranteed happy ending" does NOT apply to the Guardian TV show...but it does apply to the book, as I understand it.)

Anyway, this was a terrible use of my time but it was definitely more fun than what I should be doing, and it's probably way more information than you wanted or needed, but since I wasn't sure what exactly you had in mind, I figured...might as well be thorough?

(Today's hyper-focus fail: this post, ha...)

#unforth rambles #i'm not gonna tag the fandoms because i give my own opinions #some of which aren't all THAT positive #i think it's best if I don't just dump that into the main tags

11 notes · View notes

p-artsypants · 4 years

Text

Integrity

Integrity is the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions.

Overwhelmed with her responsibilities, guilt, and drama, Marinette has an emotional breakdown in front of everyone, and even hands over her earrings in a moment of weakness. Only for a few seconds, but the damage was done. Adrien’s pretty quick on the uptake like that.

I got this idea from a sermon a few weeks ago. It was supposed to just be a one shot, and then it got out of hand. This will have maybe two more chapters.

FF.net | Ao3

—

Nino would feel guilty in the days to come after unconsciously making her burst into tears, Marinette knew. It wasn’t actually his fault, but there was so many layers to this onion that she couldn’t explain it if she wanted to.

I had been a simple request. He was going on to create a sequel of Horrificator, with Mylene and Ivan starring again. He had simply asked if she would be able to create a costume that matched the akuma on film, though it didn’t need to be perfect, since they’d be filming it Blair Witch style.

Before she could even respond, Lila had butted her head into the conversation and said something along the lines of ‘oh my father’s college roommate is a famous monster movie costume designer! He could totally whip something up for you!’

Her butting in hadn’t been the problem. Marinette was totally used to it now. She practically expected it.

“Oh that’s awesome, Lila!” Alya had chirped. “That would be so amazing!”

“Yeah dude! We’re going to start filming soon, so if you could reach out to him and give me an answer about it, that would be awesome!”

“Of course! And that way you don’t need to bother Marinette. She always so busy in the bakery…”

“I would have loved to do the costume.” Marinette clarified. “It really isn’t a problem. So if this falls through, let me know, okay?”

“Thanks Marinette!” Nino beamed.

Then Lila smirked. And Marinette sensed that she had sealed her own doom.

How? Easy.

Lila would put off on confessing that her contact was busy, and then Marinette would be forced to work too quickly and do a half-assed job, or reject it completely.

Making her look like a flake, or a bad designer.

She rolled her eyes at the thought, and took out her sketchbook and pulled up the Ladyblog on her phone. Of course Lila had no contact. There was no reason to wait for a response. She’d might as well just get started on it now.

“It’s so cool that you know so many people, Lila!” Alya said from her side.

“Oh, I try not to think about it too much. I don’t want to be a braggart.”

Marinette bit her tongue, trying not to respond.

From in front of her, Adrien had leaned his head on his arm, on her desk, watching her work. “That’s smart.” He said softly. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Thanks Adrien.” She smiled at him, a little solemnly. Her stuttering was mostly gone now. She was trying to be a good friend and let him go for Kagami’s sake. But it was so hard! Especially since they weren’t official yet.

Alya sat next to her, ignoring her ‘jealousy’ to her classmate. “Girl, before you came around, Marinette was doing everything around here! Now we’ve got you so we can pull from all different talent pools!”

Except they weren’t. It was still Marinette.

Doing everything. As class representative, as craftsman, as liaison, as a tutor, and even a therapist. She was constantly bending over backwards to help.

And still no one appreciated her. Now she was working with shorter deadlines, and less respect. More skepticism and less mercy.

Everyone was taking advantage of her, and she was too nice to put a stop to it.

Or too naïve to notice it was even happening in the first place.

Of course, this was all on top of her guardian and Ladybug duties, which was already a full time job. And also a full time student, with remarkable grades!

And she was expected to do her chores and help out part time in the bakery.

She couldn’t remember the last time she designed something for herself.

“Of course,” clarified Nino, who had been sitting on his desk, “when you’re working with famous people, things don’t always work out. That’s why it’s nice to have Marinette around! She’s so clever! She always finds a solution!”

It was supposed to be a compliment. He was trying to let her know they still liked her and needed her.

But it came to a screeching halt with Nino’s words.

“Marinette?” Adrien asked, noticing the tears first.

She covered her mouth, lest she sob out loud and get too much attention.

But the concern in Adrien’s voice had already grabbed the attention of those around her.

“Girl...” Alya said with far too much pity. “There’s no reason to get upset.”

“Yeah Marinette.” Said Lila, with fake sympathy. “I know you want to be helpful, but you’re only one person. There’s no reason to be jealous. You can’t master everything!”

“Lila, maybe you should stop talking.” Adrien said patiently. “You know she doesn’t like you.”

“And I can’t imagine why! I’ve only ever been nice to her!”

Alya winced. “It’s...complicated.”

Lila gasped. “You’re not still jealous because of Adrien are you? After all, he’s dating Kagami, and she’s your friend! That’s not fair to me, Marinette!”

Any minute now, Marinette was going to burst into gut wrenching, uncontrollable sobbing. And she would rather do it as Ladybug so she could snatch up the Akuma before they landed. Classes were over for the day anyway. She had just stayed behind to attempt to socialize with her friends for just a few minutes.

Looked like that was in vain.

She stood, “I have to go.”

Alya grabbed her wrist. “No you don’t. Let’s just sit and talk this out.”

Lila continued to twist the knife. “Yeah Marinette. Let’s air our grievances like adults. We can be friends.”

But Marinette frantically scooped her belongings into her bag, holding onto every shred of dignity that she could, while Lila continued to rip it away from her.

“Can’t you see how your stubbornness is hurting your friends? You’re causing a lot of unnecessary drama.”

“Lila’s right, you know. Acting like this is really hurtful to me.” Said Alya, still full of sympathy.

She should have stayed silent, but her anguish spoke for her. “I’ve told you again and again that I don’t like Lila because she’s a liar. No one believes me, so there’s no point in talking about it!” Her voice cracked at the end.

“Marinette, we know Lila has a condition that causes her to misremember information. That doesn’t mean she’s maliciously lying!”

Marinette shook with untapped rage. She was a ticking time bomb. “She is though. She threatened me. I warned her that her lies were going to catch up to her, and she said that she was going to war with me. To take my friends away from me!”

“How dare you!” Lila shouted, with a pathetic snivel.

She was overacting, to be honest.

“You did that to me! How dare you try to make me the villain?! I was willing to let it go, but apparently, you’re worse than I believed!”

“Are you sure you aren’t misremembering that too, Lila?” Marinette bit.

“I could never forget the attempt someone made on my life! You gave me nightmares! You threatened to kill me! All because I was talking to the boy you were in love with—no! Obsessed with!”

“Marinette!”

“That’s awful!”

“Why would you do such a thing?!”

But Marinette didn’t respond, knowing that it was futile, just shouldered her backpack, half empty coffee cup in hand.

Adrien, bless his heart, packed up with her. “I’ll walk with you,” he offered.

Eloquence was not on her side, nor was grace or kindness. All that was holding her together was the utter desire to get away. “Leave me alone!” She shouted, before leaving.

Or, attempting to leave. She was short on the step and slipped, thrusting her coffee cup forward and right onto Lila.

“Ow!!” Lila cried, as the day-old lukewarm coffee hit her. “It burns!!”

Marinette, who wasn’t buying the pain, did feel guilt for spilling coffee. Because even if it wasn’t hot, it still stained. “Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry Lila! That was an accident! Let me run home, I’ll get you a change of clothes!”

“You did that on purpose!” Lila sobbed, holding her arm. “I think it might be third degree!! Ow!”

“Marinette, seriously? What’s wrong with you? You’re out of control girl!” Alya scolded. “We need to tell the principal about this!”

“What? No! That was a complete accident! But the coffee is from this morning, it shouldn’t even be warm—“

“Come on Lila, let’s go see the nurse!” Rose, ever vigilant and noble, grabbed the lying girl and escorted her out of the room.

Marinette stood there quaking. Stupid. Unfair. Cruel. Why had fate turned everything against her? Why was everything unraveling?

Why did she mess up with every step?

“Marinette—“ Alya started.

Furious, and not quite herself, Marinette poured the rest of the coffee on the desk, on Alya’s hand.

“Hey!”

“She’s a liar! She’s always been a liar, and that’s all she’ll ever be!” Then she finally stalked out of the room.

Alya scoffed with a shake of her head. “God, bitterness is so ugly.”

“I’m going after her.” Adrien stated, making sure he had everything.

“Dude, leave it. Marinette’s always upset these days. Don’t worry about it. If what Lila says is true, we should just let her go. We should be more concerned about Lila.”

Though Alya didn’t quite share the sentiment as she touched the puddle of cold coffee on the desk. “Well...Lila might be being a little dramatic, or it could be shock. Either way, it’s just another day of drama. Marinette just needs to calm down. Even if she did have a lapse of judgement, that doesn’t mean we can’t just let bygones be bygones.”

Always upset these days? Was she really? How much of a friend to her was he if he had never noticed before?

Ignoring his other friends, Adrien left the classroom, hoping to catch up to her.

She was in the locker room, packing up her bag while she trembled and hiccuped.

“Marinette?” He asked.

“Please leave me alone.” She whispered.

He frowned, coming closer. “I don’t think I want to.”

“I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like how?”

She shrugged her shoulders miserably. “Weak? Ugly? Pathetic? Take your pick!”

“What? Because you’re crying? That’s not weak at all. And you want to see an ugly crier? I’m an ugly crier.”

“I highly doubt that.” She whispered.

“No really! I get all snotty and hiccupy. When you cry...your eyes get all sparkly.”

Adrien had seconds to brace himself as her lips trembled, before she started to sob.

“Hey...” he reached out for her, wrapping his arms around her slowly so she could pull away. But instead, she just returned the hug, burying her face in his shoulder.

He could feel her tears leaking through. Still, he just held her, rubbing her back gently.

Suddenly, a switch flipped and she shoved him away. “No! No I can’t!”

“Marinette?” He asked, startled.

“It’s not fair! I can’t take comfort from you!”

“Sure you can!” He laughed incredulously. “I’m here for you, Marinette.”

“It’s not fair to Kagami!”

“Kagami? She’d want me to comfort my friend.”

Marinette trembled. “No! It’s more than that! You’re with her and I can’t cry on you because I don’t want to hurt her because I’m in love with you and it’s not fair to take advantage of you! It’s not fair that you don’t know that!”

His eyes blew wide. “You...what? Lila was telling the truth?”

Marinette made a horrible choking sound as she realized what she blurted. “No no no...no this can’t be happening. I didn’t, no I—I’m just a fan! I love you, like a friend! Like—like—!” She sobbed. “Ugh! I’m ruining everything! Everything is falling apart! Why am I so stupid?!”

Adrien grabbed her arm tightly, almost painfully. “Marinette, we need to go.”

She looked up sharply, seeing that he wasn’t looking at her.

He was looking at the black butterfly crawling through the edge of the window.

“No, you—you’ve got things to do. I’ll go—“

He squeezed her tighter, “you’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you alone.”

“But—“

“Come on!” He yanked her, pulling her out from the locker room and into the courtyard, where students were milling about. Including their classmates.

“Oh Marinette—“ began Alya.

“Shut up!” Adrien retaliated.

“No!” Marinette dug her heels in as a purple light formed a mask over her face.

Adrien didn’t let go. Couldn’t let go. He didn’t see where the Akuma had landed. Her bag? Her hair ties?

Marinette trembled. “I—I can’t. I won’t!”

Adrien turned to her, cupping her cheeks in his hands. “Marinette? Marinette listen to me. Look at me. You don’t need him, okay? You’re smart, and wonderful, and kind. He’s not going to help you. He’s lying to you. You hate liars, right?”

Marinette nodded mutely.

“Then tell him to piss off!”

“I can’t—“ she choked. “I can’t be akumatized. I can’t!”

“And you won’t!” Adrien argued. “There’s always a solution, no matter how bleak or overwhelming. And I will help you fix this!”

Marinette clenched her eyes shut, every muscle in her body coiled tight.

Then she whispered out, in a very even tone, “Hawkmoth, leave me alone.”

The light disappeared, and the black butterfly flew away.

For a few moments, everyone was tense, still, and silent, the only sounds coming from Marinette as she stifled her cries. Adrien moved his hands from her face down to hold her hands.

Then she collapsed, and started wailing.

Powerful, horrible, heartbreaking wails. The wails of hopelessness, fear, and loneliness, bubbling and bursting out of her like a waterfall. On and on, she just screamed, not caring who heard or saw.

The crowd was at a cross between embarrassed and concerned. Some wanted to give her privacy, some wanted to just leave. Either way, everyone eventually trickled away. Her classmates leaving last.

Adrien crouched, sitting beside her. Close enough she could lean on him if need be, but far enough away for her to pretend she had privacy. But he kept his hand on the back of her neck, moving across her shoulders occasionally for support.

“Marinette,” he moaned, once they were alone. “I know you must need to cry…but I can’t bare to watch this…do you want to talk about it? What happened? This isn’t just about what just happened in the classroom. Although that didn’t help...”

“It’s Lila!” She screamed. “And-And Alya! And you! And Master Fu! And Luka—And And—!” She wailed, her words turning into moans.

“Whoa whoa whoa what?”

She just wailed harder.

He exhaled slowly. “Okay, that’s a lot to unpack…” He glanced around, taking note of the lack of people. Fencing started soon, but he was obviously skipping.

“Marinette? Don’t you want to go to your house?” He asked softly.

“I don’t know! I don’t know what to do!”

“Hey, hey, let’s breathe together. Okay?” At least she wasn’t screaming anymore.

She hiccuped a few times, but finally took a deep breath along with Adrien.

“Okay.” He said, smiling at her. “You’re doing great. Now let’s slowly talk things out. Once we know what we need to do, we can take care of your problems in little chunks.”

“I can’t tell you my problems!” She yelled, clenching her fists. “That’s the whole problem! I can’t tell anyone! Not my parents! Not my friends, not—“ she cupped her hands over her mouth, holding back a sob.

“Oh Marinette...”

“No! No I can’t do this anymore! I’m 15! I can’t handle this kind of pressure! I’ve ruined all of it! Paris needs someone better, and I can’t even handle my own problems let alone everything else demanded of me.” She fumbled with her earrings, before slapping them down in his hand. “You take them! They’re your responsibility now! I quit!”

A flash of pink took over the earrings as they went from the plain black stones she wore, to the flat gray stubs he saw as his stint as Mister Bug.

He choked.

His reaction snapped her out of her hysteria. “I shouldn’t have done that! I should not have—!” She swiped the earrings back and put them back on with fumbling hands. “I need to go before anything else happens! I’m a walking disaster!”

“Hey, whoa whoa whoa, Marinette—“

“No, stop talking!” She snapped. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just—panicking.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” He sighed, and then took her hand in his. “Look, let’s get out of here. We’ll go to your house.”

“But—But don’t you—aren’t you—will someone be looking for you?”

“I have fencing.”

“I don’t want you to be late!”

“Marinette! I’m skipping!”

“Really?”

“Yes! You’re way more important to me then some stupid sport!”

“But—“

He helped her to her feet. “I’ll text Kagami so she can cover for me. Don’t worry about it, Marinette.”

“...I just don’t want to burden you.”

“You’re not. I’m promise, you’re not.”

She gripped his sleeve. “You can’t tell Kagami, or—or anyone. Please Adrien, I didn’t mean to say it. It’s not...not that I don’t trust you. I’m just...” she sighed in frustration. She was so overwhelmed, words weren’t coming the way she wanted them to.

“Marinette, I get it.” He assured, taking hold of the hand gripping him. “You trusted me with the snake, even though I failed back then, I never breathed a word of it to anyone. I’m not going to say anything. See, I’ve already forgotten what you said.”

She managed a watery giggle. “Thanks Adrien.”

“Now come on. Let’s go talk somewhere private.”

Resigned, Marinette allowed Adrien to tug her along. On the front steps, students were milling around, having evacuated the courtyard. Adrien didn’t say a word to anyone, while Marinette kept her eyes firmly on the ground.

Once they were away from the school, Tikki peered out of the bag, taking note of the fat tears rolling down Marinette’s cheeks. She was spiraling again, assuming the worst.

But Chat Noir was here, and they’d work everything out.

In the bakery, however, things reached a fever pitch as Lila, still wet with coffee, stood at the counter, talking to Sabine.

The conversation halted as the little bell above the door chimed.

Lila just looked at them and smirked, her face turned away from Sabine.

“Thank you for telling me, young lady. I’ll handle everything.” The woman said, edge in her voice.

Lila nodded pitifully and walked passed them to the door.

As she passed Adrien, she whispered, “I’m going to your father next.” And then left without a rebuttal.

Marinette looked at him, wide-eyed and horrified. “Did she just—?”

“Adrien,” Sabine said sternly. “Thank you for escorting Marinette home. But I have to ask you to leave. I need a word with my daughter.”

Adrien panicked for a moment, not sure how to navigate this situation. He never talked back to authority figures.

Well, not as Adrien. But his Lady was in danger, so Adrien was going to sit this one out, and let his Chat Noir persona deal with it. He held up a hand. “Mrs. Cheng. I don’t know what Lila just told you, and frankly, I don’t want to know.” His tone was stern and demanding, one he adopted from his father in the most cutthroat situations. It was scary, to Sabine and Marinette. “Lila Rossi is a liar and has been harassing Marinette for a while now. She’s the one responsible for her expulsion, and lying to get it reversed as well. I’ve spent the last—“ he took out his phone to look at the time. God. “I’ve spent the last hour holding Marinette while she cried. That gave Lila plenty of time to come here and do damage.”

Sabine just stared between him and Marinette. “Marinette, is this true?”

She could only sniff and nod.

“Madam Cheng?” He said, a little softer. “My father doesn’t trust me. I never did anything to warrant that treatment, but he doesn’t. It hurts that I don’t have an adult I can turn to when I need help. Don’t be like that to Marinette.”

Sabine gasped a little. It was harsh, of course, but seein0g Marinette—his lady—so broken was stirring up some ugly emotions in him.

“I’m not leaving.” He told her. “Marinette needs me.”

“Of course dear. Thank you so much. I found it hard to believe that Marinette would become violent with anyone, but after that ridiculous expulsion, I didn’t know what to believe. I’m not at school, I know Marinette, but—“ she shook her head.

“I tripped.” Marinette whispered. “The coffee was cold. It was an accident.”

“Now that, I believe,” Sabine hummed fondly. “Madam Rossi probably deserves a phone call. Why don’t you two go up to her room? I’ll bring up some tea in a bit.”

Adrien massively sighed. “Thank you Madam Cheng. And...sorry for being rude.”

“You were stern. It was important.” She walked over and hugged her daughter, petting her hair. “Marinette, I’m so sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about this. I trust you, both of us do.” She kissed her head. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help every once in a while, okay?”

Marinette could only nod against her.

“I’ll let you two go. When you’re calmer, you can tell me what happened, if you want. Either way, I’ll disregard what that girl said.”

“Thank you, Maman.” Marinette whispered.

“Of course baby.” She kissed her forehead tenderly.

Then Adrien took Marinette’s hand again and pulled her away upstairs.

Once in her room, Marinette sat on her chaise, pulling her legs up to her chest. She was silent.

Adrien grabbed a blanket from her bed, and wrapped it around her shoulders, then sat by her side and pulled her to lean against him.

“Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen.”

She whimpered. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“...of saying something I’m not supposed to. I wasn’t supposed to tell you about...any of that. It just all came out.”

“Sounds like you’ve been bottling yourself up. That’s not healthy, Marinette.”

She pushed away from him, standing, her back to him. “I’m sorry, Adrien. I really appreciate you being here with me, but...it’s just too dangerous. And, like I said, it’s not fair to Kagami.”

Adrien huffed, his bangs fluttering over his forehead. “Marinette...I’m just trying to help.”

“And I appreciate that, but I can handle it.” Then quietly, more to herself. “I have to handle it.”

Swallowing a growl, he looked at his stubborn lady. “What about Chat Noir?”

She hunched her shoulders. “What about him?”

“Have you talked this out with him? Does he know you’re struggling?” He knew the answer, but he was curious to what she would say. Would she lie?

Her hiccups and sniffles weren’t exactly what he was expecting, but it wasn’t surprising. “He’s already so disappointed with me!”

“What?” He stood too, whirling to face her. “What are you talking about?”

“It was written all over his face during the last fight! He knows I gave away my mentor’s identity! I’m the reason Chloé got upset! And I keep stringing him along!” She sobbed. “He had to do everything in that last fight! I couldn’t plan, or think or—or do anything! And he hasn’t talked to me since!”

Adrien’s warm hands landed on her shoulders. “Marinette, Ladybug, you know that’s not true right? Chat’s your partner. He’d never be disappointed in you!”

“How do you know?”

He shrugged. It wasn’t the right time to reveal himself. She was already dealing with so much. Surely revealing himself would cause another spiral. “I just do.”

She shook her head in disbelief.

He pulled her back down to the chaise to sit, and rested a warm hand on her back. Then he eased her over to lean against his shoulder again.

“I won’t say a thing. I’m not Adrien, I’m not anyone. Just a pillow with ears. Why don’t you talk it all out. And once you’re done, I’ll stuff this day far into the back reaches of my mind where no one will find it. All your secrets are safe with me.”

Marinette started to relax against him, despite the absolute panic of being close to her crush. He was warm, and his arms held her securely. She felt safe.

Tikki made her appearance, coming out of Marinette’s bag that had been set on her desk. “Marinette?”

Marinette only looked back at her, ashamed and embarrassed.

“It’s alright. You can trust Adrien,” is what she said. Not, “you‘ve failed and I hate you. How dare you!” There was no judgement, no reprimanding. Just comfort.

She wanted to cry again, but Adrien petted her head, a soothing rhythm.

With a shuddering breath, she began, “Lila’s been threatening me. I knew she was lying because I’m Ladybug. I didn’t like that she was using my name to get close to you. I saw her getting away with all these other lies too because no one bothered to fact check her. It was frustrating that every time I urged Alya to listen, she wrote me off as jealous. I’m not jealous of her. I have no reason to be. But because I have a...crippling crush on you—“ she bit her lip.

Adrien gave no reaction.

She continued, “—I was automatically deemed jealous because she was talking to you. Lila confronted me in the bathroom, fake concerned about my well being when I was moved to the back of the classroom. But when I told her I knew she was lying, and that everyone would figure her out, she threatened me. She said she was going to make me her enemy, that my friends would leave me behind and you’d—you’d be with her. I tried to ignore it, and take the high road like you suggested, but...”

“Did you tell anyone she threatened you?”

“...no.”

“Why?”

“I was so scared Alya would treat it like every other thing I said to her about Lila. She’d pass it off as jealousy. She’s supposed to be my best friend but she doesn’t believe me!!”

“Forget about Alya then. If she doesn’t believe you, then that’s her fault. You’ve got nothing to prove. What about anyone else?”

Marinette shuttered. “I thought...no one would believe me.”

“Even me?”

She pushed away from him, hugging herself, the guilt starting to creep back in. “I can barely talk to you...how was I supposed to tell you I was being threatened?”

“That’s fair, I guess. I just...I could have helped you.”

She was quiet, hugging her arms to her chest. “I...didn’t think about it. It was my problem to deal with. And I’m not great at asking for help. I’m sorry.”

“Aw, you don’t need to apologize for that Marinette. You didn’t do anything wrong. Lila’s the one with the stick up her ass.”

Marinette giggled. She had never heard Adrien swear before.

Suddenly, Adrien’s phone rang, interrupting the conversation. He sighed heavily. “Gee, I wonder who that could be.” He took it out, and saw Nathalie’s name. “I’m sorry, I have to take this. Then you can have my full attention.”

She highly doubted that, but nodded him on.

He answered, “hi Nathalie.”

“Adrien, your father wants you home immediately. Considering that you answered, I’m assuming that you’re not in practice anymore...or maybe you never went.”

Adrien swallowed, but realized there was no point in arguing. Not with her at least. “Put my father on, please.”

“You can talk to him when you come home.”

“This is urgent, Nathalie, give the phone to my father.” He couldn’t keep the bite out of his tone, but allowed his protectiveness to take the reins, filling him with adrenaline.

“One moment.”

The phone went quiet before Gabriel’s voice cut in, “Adrien, I want you home. Now. You are in danger with that girl—“

“Do you trust me?”

Gabriel sighed, “I’d trust you more if you did as I asked.”

“No, father, I need to know if you will listen to me and believe me when I have something important to tell you.”

“Yes yes,” he said, and Adrien could imagine him flipping his hand. “What is it, Adrien? What is so important?”

“Lila Rossi has been sexually harassing me.” He blurted. Not the argument he was planning on making, but one that might make his father listen to him.

Gabriel paused before asking, “what?” All anger in his voice had evaporated, which was new.

“She touches me without my permission. And she threatens any other girls that get close to me. I don’t know what she told you about Marinette, but she’s been threatening her for a while. Marinette had a break down at school. I’m trying to comfort her.”

A pair of slender arms wrapped around his waist from behind in a gentle hug. She rested her cheek against his spine. Adrien rested a hand over hers, appreciating the comfort.

For once, Gabriel didn’t respond. Adrien took that as a cue to keep going.

“I don’t feel safe around Lila. She lies to people to get her way. She got Marinette expelled almost effortlessly. I’m scared that she’ll do something like that to me. To us. What’s stopping her from accusing me of sexual harassment or worse?” He swallowed. “Please don’t make me model with her anymore.”

Gabriel continued to be silent, and Adrien took it as quiet contemplation.

Finally, Gabriel responded. “You’re concerns are valid. You make very good points. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

Adrien exhaled in a whoosh.

“I will be working through dinner, so you may stay with the Dupain-Chengs if they’ll have you. Just be home by 8. I’d like to talk with you more about this then.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“Thank you for being honest with me, son.” And he hung up.

Adrien took a shaky breath as Marinette pulled away from him. “Sorry for the hug, I know you were just talking about being sexually harassed—I just know that was a hard conversation to have and—“

“Marinette.” He stopped her, holding her hand. “It’s more than okay. You can hug me whenever you like. I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.” He smiled. “Your hugs, whether intentional or not, are nice.”

She blushed.

“I-I mean...Lila and Chloe hang on me, or clamp down like...like a pair of handcuffs. You hold me. Sure, but gentle enough I can pull away. It’s nice.”

Still blushing, and unable to look him in the eye, she hugged him again, hiding her face in his chest.

He gathered her close, savoring her touch. He had found her. Finally. Of course, it was in a horrible way, and she didn’t know who he was. But he found her, and he still loved her without the mask. That’s more than he ever could have asked for.

“Your hugs are really nice too.” She mumbled into his shirt.

He snickered, imagining her reaction if he was Chat. He couldn’t help but think it would be a little different. “Alright,” he pulled away slightly. “My problems are on hold. Let’s get back to you. Let’s get back to what caused you to cry in class. What got you so suddenly upset? Because you started crying before Lila blurted out all that stuff. Was it Lila making another bogus offer?”

She shook her head. “No...it’s stupid.”

“It’s obviously not stupid if it made you cry.”

She sighed, but didn’t pull away this time. Her walls began to crumble, since he was Adrien and he was so kind.

“It wasn’t Lila. It was actually Nino.”

“Nino? Really? What did he do? Do you need me to kick his butt?”

She smiled softly. “No, he didn’t do it on purpose. I think it was supposed to be a compliment...”

“And that was...?”

“He said that it was nice to have me around when things fail because I always have the solution.” Her eyes watered as she spoke.

“Oh. Hmm. I guess I don’t really see why that would have bothered you? I mean, you are really smart and clever, and quick too! You always know what to do.”

“But I don’t!” She threw her arms in the air and began to pace. “That’s just it! I can come up with problem solvers when facing an Akuma! And occasionally I have good ideas for dealing with school problems! But right now? I don’t know what the heck I’m doing!” She shouted, a few tears leaking out. “My mentor is gone, and it’s my fault! I gave away his identity to Hawkmoth and he in turn gave up his memories to protect me and Chat! Now I’m the guardian of the Miraculous and I’m only 15! So not only do I have to deal with that big mess, but I have to deal with balancing being a full time student and superhero without letting anyone catch onto what’s happening, which requires a lot of lying, which I hate doing!! And now with Lila making these bogus claims and no one listening to me, I’m left scrambling to pick up the mess she makes because I’m the class representative and I’m terrified of disappointing my friends more! I’m already on thin ice with the class and being a social outcast might just break me! So I have to put aside my own problems to deal with Paris and my fickle classmates. I just keep watching you grow farther away, and Chat become more and more disappointed and heartbroken, and Luka become more impatient and I don’t even have the emotional energy to decide which one hurts me more!” She outright sobbed.

“Marinette...” Adrien breathed, not able to say much else.

“Just for once, I want my problems to just—solve themselves. Because I’m so tired and I’m so scared! I messed up so badly today—what about tomorrow? What if my next break down is in front of Hawkmoth?”

Adrien stood slowly, approaching her like a wild animal. “Hey...if it’s any consolation, you are completely justified in having this break down. This is an unbelievable amount of stress you have. I’m surprised you didn’t crack earlier.”

“I did. Right before Miracle Queen. Luka found me then. I felt awful for crying on him, because I know he cares about me...but I just don’t feel the same. I like him, I really do, but I can’t—“ she shook her head. “I’m just leading him on at this point. I’m so terrible.”

“I know exactly how you feel.”

She looked up at him, seeing the sympathy in his eyes. He looked miserable.

“That’s exactly how I feel about Kagami.”

Marinette wiped the tears from her cheek. “What?”

“She said that my indecision hurt her, which I get but...I can’t just stop loving—“ he turned red, and turned his face away, “sorry, we’re focusing on your problems. Not mine.”

“No, don’t. Adrien, who are you in love with, if not Kagami?”

The desperation in her voice forced him to look at her. He felt extremely embarrassed and guilty. All this time, he declared he’d know her anywhere, and yet how was he supposed to explain that he looked right passed her?

“Um...” he said smartly.

“Please?”

“It’s...you. I’m in love with you.”

She choked, her face turning red. “You...are? But I thought...”

“Ladybug, you. To be more precise. But now that I know who you are, the feelings are the same. Or possibly even stronger. Just so you know. It’s not just some silly celebrity thing.”

She opened her mouth, preparing to speak, but the words were stuck, her throat dry.

“Marinette...” he took her hands gently. “You are amazing, brave, smart, and kind. You’re my hero, and while you are going through some really hard stuff right now, you have something that Lila and Hawkmoth don’t.”

“A life?”

He chuckled, “well, yes. But I was going to say integrity.”

“Integrity?”

“Yeah. Willingness to help others even when you have bad days. Doing your best to keep promises. Being someone dependable, honest, and selfless. It might be exhausting, but in the end, you’ll be still standing when everyone else’s messes fall down around you.”

Her shoulders sagged as she let out a whoosh of air. “That’s really sweet, Adrien. But...” she hugged herself. “You told me it didn’t matter as long as you and I knew the truth. That I should take the high road and her lies would catch up to her. Well, I almost got expelled, so it obviously isn’t working.”

“Right, yes. And I’m sorry,” he clarified. “When I gave you that advice the first time, I didn’t know she threatened you. I thought it just bothered you that she was lying in general. I’m not saying you have to lay down like a dog anymore, I’m just saying that you have an advantage on her. And your character is your foundation. If you were a terrible person, and she was lying about you, there would be no reason for anyone to doubt her. But because you are so amazing, someone’s going to notice. And if they don’t, that’s not your fault. I will help you come up with a way to solve this problem, I promise.”

She sighed again, this time in relief. “Thank you Adrien. That means a lot.”

“Now,” he began, starting to pace himself. “I’m not sure what I can do to help you with the Miraculous. Given that I was a terrible temporary holder, and I’m not even supposed to know about this—“

“You don’t need to help me there.” She sighed, but in a gentle way, that sounded relaxed and okay. “If we can get the Lila situation under control, I think I’ll be able to handle guardianship a lot more.”

“What about Chat? Can he take some responsibilities?”

She groaned. “That’s another one of my problems. He’s so...”

Adrien held his breath, ready to take whatever terrible trait she had honed in on.

“...so wonderful.”

Huh. Not expected, but not unwelcomed!

“He’s goofy, and impatient, and goes overboard sometimes, but he has such a good heart and encourages me. So during that last fight...it broke me to see him step up and take control while I just spiraled.”

“You’re a team though. He should be able to take control when you’re unable to.”

“I know, but it shouldn’t be when I’m having an existential crisis! Just when I’m hurt or sick—“

“I’m sure Chat didn’t mind stepping up.”

“How do you know?”

“I mean, I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

Marinette groaned again. “And there again! If I keep rejecting him, he’s just going to get more and more heartbroken, and then he’s going to resent me! And I hate that! I don’t want to be the cause of that!”

Adrien paled. Honestly, he was trying to move on with Kagami. He wasn’t going to let heartbreak turn to resentment. Especially not towards her, who he still adored. That was yesterday’s problem though, things were looking pretty optimistic in the love department now. Though they hadn’t gotten that far yet.

“Marinette, I think if that does happen, it wouldn’t be your fault. I think...Chat should be mature enough to respect your wishes.”

“He has his moments.” She breathed. “Did you know I almost gave up being Ladybug right at the beginning?”

“What?! No way!”

“Yes! But Chat encouraged me. Alya was in danger and that prompted me to put the earrings back on, but Chat actually talked me into being a hero. In my darkest moments, I wonder ‘what would Chat say?’ Sometimes the answer is stupid, but it makes me laugh. And then I hear his encouragement.”

“You care a lot about Chat, don’t you?”

“I love him. He’s my best friend and the best partner I could ask for.”

Adrien’s lovesick grin was probably not the best reaction to her praise of someone else. He shook himself into a more relaxed and normal expression. “Have you guys talked at all since then?”

“No. I have no idea what to say to him.” She plopped down in one of her computer chairs and leaned her head back. “I wish I knew Chinese!”

“What?” Adrien asked at the sudden change in conversation.

“Don’t get me wrong, I know some. But not enough to get me by. My mom offered to teach me some when I was younger, but I was being stubborn and now I regret it! I’ve been trying to learn more since I started training, but I can’t ask my mom for specific phrases, and free apps only get me so far!”

“Why do you need to know Chinese?”

Marinette took a deep breath, and looked at Tikki.

“I mean, he already knows this much, might as well keep going.”

She exhaled. “Alright. The miraculous come with...a manual, of sorts. But it’s all in code. Some of that code is in Chinese, either Mandarin or something else...maybe even ancient Chinese. I don’t know. But I figure being able to read it would help me figure it out.”

“Uh...wasn’t there a temple or something in Tibet that came back? Could you use the Teleportation miraculous to get there?”

Marinette stared at him, wide-eyed. “You...you’re on to something there! Oh but that doesn’t fix my Chinese problem! I know how to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘good morning’ and stuff but not ‘hello, I’m the new Miraculous Guardian in Paris and I don’t know how to read the book. Can you teach me?’”

“Hello, I’m the new Miracle Stone Guardian in Paris and I don’t know how to read the book. Can you teach me?” Adrien said in Mandarin. “At least I think that’s what it is. I said ‘Miracle Stone’ instead of Miraculous, because I think that’s a better translation—“

“Adrien!” Marinette grabbed his face with both hands, squishing his cheeks together. “You speak Mandarin!”

“Yes? Isn’t that what you were getting to? Asking me to be your translator?”

“I didn’t—we couldn’t—“

“Because I’m not supposed to know?” He asked delicately.

Marinette didn’t answer.

“Or because you believe you have to do this on your own?”

She groaned again. “Are you like a mind reader or something?”

He rested a hand on her shoulders and rubbed back and forth. “One of my many talents.”

“But, yes. That is what I’m worried about. I don’t want to get you too involved. I should at least talk to Chat about it.”

“Yeah, I think you should just be honest with him. Just tell him everything.”

“I can’t tell him everything, it would compromise my identity!”

“Um, just out of curiosity…why don’t you two know who the other is?”

“It was a safety measure, in case either one of us got akumatized, or under the control of an akuma. Our master was very strict about it.”

“But, you’re the guardian now. Isn’t it better to know each other? What if something happens to the other? There’s no one that would know who the other is.”

Marinette exhaled. “I’ve been thinking about that too. I just…I don’t know.”

“Okay. Well, I think you should let him in at least a little more. Just talk to him. He should at least know where your head is at.”

“Okay. I’ll start there.”

Adrien’s phone buzzed with a text. “Oh, who is it this time?”

Kagami: Where are you?

“Oh whoops! I needed Kagami to cover for me.”

Adrien: I’m with Marinette. There’s some class drama going on right now. Can you cover for me?

Kagami: Sure! Tell her she’s got me on her side. (Even though I’m not sure what’s going on.)

Kagami: Are you doing anything this weekend? I’d love to get Ice Cream with you! <3

Adrien winced, as he read the newest text.

“Is something wrong?”

“Um, just trying to figure out how to interpret this text. I think Kagami is asking me out.”

Her heart sunk. “Well, um…are you going to go?”

“Not if it’s a date.”

Adrien: As friends?

The little dots popped up, indicating that she was typing.

Kagami: I already told you that your indecision hurts me. Are we a couple or not? Please don’t waste my time.

“Woof. It’s like everyone is falling apart today.”

“What’s wrong? Can I help?”

Adrien smiled at her. “Not to be a complete hypocrite, but I have to handle this on my own. Should I just be blunt and honest?”

“Quite honestly, that seems like Kagami’s language.”

Adrien: I really care about you Kagami, and your friendship is very important to me. I don’t want to lose you. But I can’t be in a relationship with you. I’m very much in love with Marinette, and I just found out she feels the same. But I can’t be with her right now because of…extenuating circumstances. I wouldn’t be fair to you to be with you while I wait until things clear up for her. You deserve to be happy, and I don’t think I can be that person for you. I’m sorry.

“Adrien? Is everything okay?”

“I…I think I’m doing the right thing.”

Kagami: Thank you for your honesty. I wish you had told me sooner. We will remain friends, but I need some time. Tell Marinette I said hi and that I hope she feels better.

Adrien didn’t know how to respond to this very professional reply, so he just didn’t. He had heard you weren’t supposed to break up over text, but they weren’t exactly dating in the first place. More than likely, this conversation would be continued in person. Or she’d never talk to him again.

Instead, he noticed he had another unread text.

Nino: Did you take Marinette home? Is she okay?

Adrien gnawed at his lip. “Are you okay if I tell Nino kind of what the truth is? Besides your identity?”

Marinette shrugged. “If you can convince him, be my guest.” And she took a seat at her desk, pulling out some homework.

Adrien sat in the chair nearby, tapping out an honest reply.

Adrien: I took her home, still with her. She’s not great.

Nino: Alya said that Lila went to tell her mom about what happened. Please tell me she didn’t.

Adrien: She so did.

Nino: Ugghghhhgghhh We told her not to, especially since Alya confirmed that the coffee was cold. Ngl that whole thing at the end was super dramatic

Adrien: Of course. She’s an attention hog, and she demands it however she can get it. That includes lying out of her nose.

Nino: Lowkey bro, I haven’t been believing Lila’s stories for a while. I’ve been going along with it because she’s nice and Alya’s really good friends with her, but today was too much. It was not her place to out Marinette’s crush, especially in front of you. That was dirty

Adrien: Wait really? What made you start doubting her?

Nino: When she could never come through with any of her promises. A few times, sure, celebrities are busy, but every single time she said she’d pull a string, it would fall through. Chloe is more reliable than her. Why do you think I asked Marinette for help first?

Adrien: Boy I’m glad to hear you say that! Marinette’s feeling really overwhelmed because she has to pick up all the plans that Lila ruins.

Nino: Why? It’s not her fault. I love Marinette, but she’s got to stop catering to people.

Adrien: Dude…don’t get mad, but that’s kind of what tipped her over this afternoon. You said something like ‘she always has a solution’. She feels like everyone is depending on her to make things right.

Nino: Aw dude you’re so right! I noticed she started crying when I said that! I just didn’t get why! Aww man!

Adrien: I don’t think she minded helping people, but being asked to help and being expected to help are two totally different things

Nino: For sure dude.

Adrien: You trust me right?

Nino: Yeah dude! You’re my dog bro!

Adrien: Then know what I’m about to tell you is the absolute truth. Lila isn’t just lying for attention. She’s lying maliciously to hurt Marinette on purpose. And not only is she not friends with Ladybug, she HATES her. Chat Noir himself told me that she faked an injury to get him out of a fight and leave Ladybug alone with an akuma. When I told her she didn’t need to lie to make friends, she turned straight up evil. Marinette got on her bad side because she told her to knock it off. She lied about Marinette pushing her down the stairs, and all the other stuff that got her expelled. The only reason Marinette was allowed back at school was because I sorta blackmailed Lila. That’s when she made up that ridiculous lie about having a lying disorder.

Adrien’s phone laid on the desk for a moment, Nino’s contact completely silent.

Nino: Dude.

Nino: I gotta find Alya.

Nino: Stay with Mari.

“Okay. So, I think I won Nino over.” Adrien said with a relieved smirk.

Just then, Marinette’s phone buzzed. She had ignored it since coming home, knowing that there would be a plethora of foul messages from classmates. But she spared the screen a glance. “He just texted me. ‘Dude, I’m so so so so so so so so sorry that what I said hurt you. I only meant that you are extremely smart and clever and reliable. I never wanted to take advantage of you, but it’s nice to have someone in your corner, who you can trust and knows will be honest with you. You’re real, and I’m stopping communication with Lila now. What she did was not cool. Sorry this went on for so long. I’m talking to Alya now. Might take a while to wear her down. You know how she is. But she loves you, so she’ll see the light’.”

“Aw. Nino’s so cool.”

Her phone buzzed again. She blushed at the message, and turned it face down.

“What was that?”

“He said ‘behave’ and then a winky face.”

“Ha! I love Nino. It makes sense why you chose him to be Carapace.”

“You know about that?”

“Yeah, I know who all of the others are now. Except Chat Noir, but I have my suspicions.”

“Oh yeah, who do you suspect?”

“You know the performer XY?”

Marinette gagged. “No. Way. My Chat is way more handsome, kind, and talented than that pompous asshat!”

Adrien guffawed, and when he collected himself, he giggled out, “Handsome, huh?”

“Of course he’s handsome! But don’t you dare tell him I said that!”

“Your secret is safe with me.” He took on a more serious tone. “All of them are, you know? I promised I’d stuff this day in the back of my mind so no one will know.”

“Actually,” she gave a contented sigh. “It’s nice that someone knows. It’s nice that you know.”

“But we didn’t actually solve any of your problems.”

“Well, no. But we have a solid foundation to work on. I feel a lot more optimistic about being the guardian and dealing with Lila. I think the rest will fall into place when I have less on my plate.”

“And I’ll help you with Lila. Again, I’m sorry for my useless advice earlier.”

She rested a hand on his shoulder. “Adrien, it was helpful advice for what you assumed was going on.”

“I really tried, you know. She weaseled her way into my photo shoots, and I told her I wouldn’t boot her as long as she left you alone. And she hasn’t. So the deal is off.”

“You did that for me?”

“Of course!”

“Even without knowing that I’m...?”

“Yes! Marinette! You were always a very precious friend to me. The first that I really felt like I earned on my own. It really sucked to see you hurting, and I wanted to do whatever I could to protect you.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, but in a hopeful way this time. She threw her arms around him and squeezed. “You’re the best.”

He hugged her back, squeezing her tightly. “I try.” He glanced at his phone. “Looks like we got some time before I have to leave. Did you want me to look at that book? Or do you want to just play video games?”

“Honestly, video games sound awesome. Let me just go tell my mom you’re staying for dinner.”

“Okay.”

After she left, Plagg appeared. “You doing okay kid? Your heart is just a hum for how hard it’s beating.”

“I’m fine, just...I guess still processing everything? No wonder she feels so overwhelmed.”

“I’d like to think that by confiding in you, she’s feeling a little better.”

“I hope. I know how particular she is about her identity. She might still be uncomfortable.”

“Are you going to tell her who you are?”

“Not just yet. On one hand, she might feel better knowing it’s not some random person who knows who she is, but on the other hand, that’s a whole other can of worms and just one more thing to worry about.”

“Yeah. But you’re also not a stranger to her. You’re a good friend and the boy she’s in love with.”

“Yeah…Marinette’s…Ladybug. And she’s in love with me…”

“Kid?”

That was all the warning Plagg got before Adrien straight up passed out on the floor.

Marinette rushed back upstairs when she heard the thump. And thankfully Plagg heard her steps so that he could hide.

“Adrien?!”

The dizzy spell only lasted a few seconds, as he groggily blinked back to awareness.

“Are you alright? Do you need water? Food?”

“Yes to all the above.” He stated with a lopsided smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just...I think my brain finally processed who you were and I just got really light headed.”

“You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks Mari.”

She blushed.

“Is that okay? Can I call you that?”

“You can call me anything.”

“Okay boo boo bear.” He grinned.

She started giggling. “Oh no! Not disgusting pet names!”

“Snookie wookums?”

“No!”

“Sweetie Mari pie?”

“Adrien!”

“My most ardent desire, love of my life?”

She calmed down her giggles. “That one’s pretty good, only if you say the whole thing every time.”

He smiled warmly at her. “Actually, I think I have the perfect name for you. But I’ll drop it on you when you least expect it.”

“Whatever you say...Blondie.”

“That’s the best you got?”

“I’ll think on it. I’ll get one that just melts your heart.”

There was a knock on the trap door. “Marinette?” Asked Sabine.

Marinette opened the door, and helped her mom with the tray of snacks and tea.

“Here you go. Plenty of feel good snacks to help a wounded heart.”

“Thanks Maman.” Marinette said earnestly.

“Now, I want you to know, I got in contact with Lila’s mother.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry honey, but she’s right up in Lila’s lies. She didn’t even believe me when I said Adrien had come over to clarify everything. Apparently, he’s dating Lila. There’s no way he would defend her bully.” Sabine gave them a flat look.

“Me? Date Lila? I’d sooner date a rancid garbage bag. And kiss it too!”

“Well, and least the garbage bag would never lie to you.” Marinette smiled.

“So, want do you want me to do?” Asked Sabine. “Stay out of this? Call the principle? Call a lawyer?”

“No mom,” Marinette said with an accepting sigh. “I think we’ll handle her.”

“Don’t do anything dangerous.” She warned. “I know you’re not a bad kid. But don’t stoop to her level.”

“Don’t worry. I intend to handle it with grace and dignity.”

“Dignity I can see. Grace? Just do your best.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Just let me know if you need anything. Talking to her mother didn’t work, but if we can a parent teacher conference...”

“That’s not a bad idea,” said Marinette. “But let me try a little longer. Adrien knows a little more about the situation, and so does Nino.”

“Okay baby.” Sabine smiled. “I’m proud of you. And I love you. You too, Adrien. I’m proud of you for coming here and making things right.”

He blushed. “Thank you Madam Cheng.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you kids alone. I’ll call for dinner.”

“Thanks mom!”

The video games were a great distraction from all the stress and revelations the day had brought. Smack talk, praise, puns, and even overt flirting.

“What’s wrong, Ladybug? Having trouble in a digital battle?”

“Oh you wish! I’ve fought in one of these for real!”

“Oh you lie! You think you can just tell me you did anything as Ladybug and I’ll believe it!”

“I mean, I can. You can’t prove I didn’t.”

“Yes I can, you’re sucking at this!”

“Oh but that’s just a part of my plan!” In a super mega ultra combo, Adrien’s health bar went from three quarters full, to only one hp left.

“Nonononono!!” He cried, mashing the block button.

It didn’t matter.

“Victory, thy name is sweet.”

“Guhhhh,” Adrien moaned as he flexed his sore hand. “And not a single victory for me.”

“You’ll get there some day.”

“When you go easy on me...”

“No promises there, handsome boy.”

He grinned at her.

From downstairs, Sabine called, “Adrien! Your bodyguard is here!”

“Wow, is it 8 o’clock already?”

The clock read 7:45.

“You know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun.”

He smiled softly at her. “And with you, every minute is an absolute blast.”

She blushed.

“Look, Marinette...” he trailed off, scratching the back of his head. “I...I want to be more than just a friend. I really...I love you. Truly.”

“But...?”

He winced. “A temporary but. I have a few loose ends I need to tie up before I ask you out, properly. I need to talk to my father, and I’d like to make sure Kagami’s okay. And I should probably mention it to Chloé.”

“Okay. That makes sense.”

“I just don’t want anything to ruin us before we even start, you know?”

“Of course. I understand completely.”

He sighed in relief. “Thank you. And um...I’ll leave you with this, so you know I’m serious.”

“Leave me with what?”

He swooped in, pressing the sweetest, warmest, lovely kiss of them all on her lips. It only lasted a few seconds, just to leave them both pining for more.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked as they parted.

She didn’t have the words, as she only dumbly nodded back.

With his award winning smile, he pressed a tiny peck to her nose and then danced away before she could compose herself.

After he left, she sank to the floor.

“Wow! Looks like talking out your problems with someone really did help!” Said Tikki.

“Uh huh...”

“You okay?”

“Adrien...kissed me.”

“He sure did! That was really cute!”

“I love him...I’m going to marry him.”

“Okay, maybe slow down...”

“Don’t crush my dreams Tikki!”

—

At home, Adrien arrived 5 minutes before 8. But his father was still waiting outside his office.

“Welcome home, Adrien. Did you enjoy dinner with Marinette and her family?”

It was certainly nice to receive a warm welcome! “Yeah! Her mom made this soup that was really good, and we had fresh bakery bread!”

“Sounds lovely.” Gabriel stayed with a pleasant tone. “If you aren’t busy, I should like to finish our earlier conversation.”

“No. I mean, no I’m not busy! We can talk!”

Gabriel nodded and beckoned him into his office. They sat across from each other in chairs.

“I want to thank you for being so frank about the situation with Miss Rossi. I’ll admit, I was impressed with her quick wit and ability to fabricate stories—“

“Wait.” Adrien held up a hand. “You know she was lying?”

“Of course. I’m not an idiot. Her lies were obvious, but to the unpracticed ear, they’d go unnoticed. She seemed earnest enough when she told me she cared about you, and so I...had her keep an eye on you.”

Adrien felt his skin crawl. “She...spied on me?”

“Hmm. Spied is a little strong of a word. Just reported back to me the goings on of your classmates.”

“I mean,” Adrien began, sheepishly. “If you wanted to know, you could have just asked. I would have told you.”

“I should have. I see that now. Lila was obviously abusing my trust and taking advantage of you. She probably assumed she could get away with anything as long as she reported everything else.”

Adrien wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He desperately needed a shower after this conversation.

“I feel kind of violated.”

“I understand. Lila had no business to touch you without your consent.”

“No, I mean, yes, that was very violating, but I meant, your spying on me. I thought you trusted me?”

“I do. Adrien, I do. Lila told me you were being manipulated by unsavory types. I now know that she was talking about herself. What you said about her lying to get Miss Dupain Cheng in trouble really hit me. We will be dropping her as a model, and I’ll be speaking with my lawyer in case she decides to turn her silver tongue on us.”

Adrien sighed in relief. “Thank you father.”

“You know if someone ever touches you in a way you don’t like, you’re allowed to say no. Right?”

“I...yes. I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, I just...it happens all the time. Models and stuff. Lila was just doing it off set too.”

Gabriel frowned in thought. “Does modeling make you uncomfortable?”

“No. Not really. Just...some of the times in like, couple shoots?”

“I see. I’ll look into getting you more solo sessions.”

This conversation was going a lot better than he expected. His father had certainly lowered Adrien’s expectations, but at least he was admitting allowing a teenager to spy on him was a bad idea.

Progress.

“Now, about Miss Dupain Cheng.”

Adrien winced.

“What’s your...relationship, currently?”

“Right this minute, we’re still just friends. But very soon, I hope to be dating her.”

“Mmmm. You’re still very young, Adrien.”

“I know. But too young to love?”

His father gave a little chuckle. “You are so much like your mother. I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to prevent you from dating, since I dated at your age as well. Marinette has certainly proved to be an upstanding girl. Her family name is well known and respected, even in elite circles. If you wish to date her, you have my blessing.”

Yes!!

“But I would like to have dinner with her and her family, once you do ask.”

“Yes father, of course. Thank you!”

Today wasn’t so bad after all. Of course, it hurt to see his lady in so much pain, but he had been able to bring her so much happiness! And now this!

“There’s one more thing I wanted to talk about.” Gabriel took a very serious tone.

“Okay?”

“Do you trust me?”

“I—yes! Yes of course father.”

“Good. Because I need to show you something. Something I should have shown you a long time ago.” He stood, and walked to the painting of Emilie behind his desk.

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrinette #adrienette #identity reveal #lila rossi is exposed

124 notes · View notes

imnotoverlyobsessive · 3 years

Text

Looks Like Someone Picked a Whole Bushel of Oopsie Daisies

Chapter Eight: The Morning After (part one)

If I said I want your body, would you hold it against me? Seven in the morning, wanna listen to Britney; anything you want, baby, that’s okay with me, now. We don’t sleep, but we like sleeping in. - All Time Low, Sleeping In

Mabel had to pee, but she really, really didn’t wanna open her eyes. Or move in any way, shape, and/or form. She was warm, covered in a soft comforter, and her mattress was just the right amount of firm and squishy. She snuggled into her bed with a soft smile, and then her head hit something that was way warmer than her bed or pillows.

Strangely, it felt like there was bare skin against hers, and… she didn’t appear to be wearing any panties. Or a shirt. She usually wore a shirt and panties when she slept, didn’t she? Was she misremembering that? She didn’t typically misremember her own habits, but she had certainly been wrong before.

Forcing her eyes open, Mabel came face to face with Dipper, who was asleep. And upon seeing his face (which was both way more attractive and way closer to hers than it had any right to be), everything came rushing back.

“I’m in love with you-“

“I burn for you-“

“I’ll give you the fucking world-“

“I want your cock.”

“Anything you want.”

“-and put your baby inside me-“

“I want it harder-“

“Tell me you’re mine.”

Face inflamed, Mabel very slowly extracted herself from Dipper’s arms (he stirred, but continued sleeping), grabbed her purse, and tiptoed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

The cold tiles stung her bare feet, but she peed and washed her hands anyway, wishing there was some kind of bath mat. Preferably a fuzzy one (a pink one, perhaps? Yes, a pink one would spice up the all-white bathroom nicely. And some lovely pink towels to match, too).

Glancing up at herself in the mirror as she dried her hands on a towel, she was startled by her appearance.

There were hickeys, well. Everywhere, really, but it seemed like Dipper has primarily focused his attentions on her breasts and neck. She didn’t mind the hickeys. She rather liked them, actually. What she didn’t like was how bad her hair and makeup had gotten in her sleep. She didn’t even remember falling asleep, really. She and Dipper had been cuddling, and at some point he pulled out and threw the condom away, but he came right back to cuddle her again and then she was waking up.

Her hair was a frizzy mess, so she undid the braid and ran her fingers throughit to work out some of the knots. She’d been pretty the night before. She wanted to be pretty when he woke up, too.

Or, at least, as pretty as she could be without makeup.

It was really just her eye makeup that was bad rather than the whole thing. She had raccoon eyes. That happened whenever she slept with eye makeup on.

Taking out several makeup remover wipes, she scrubbed at her face with them until nothing came off on the damp, white cloths anymore. She didn’t look as nice without makeup, but, well, Dipper was her soulmate, right? Her soulmate would find her attractive no matter what.

Mabel hoped he would, anyway.

She stared at herself in the mirror for a few more seconds. What would their parents say if they saw her? Obviously they wouldn’t see all the hickeys, but they’d definitely be able to see a fair amount of them unless she invested in turtle necks. They’d been keeping this huge thing a secret from Mabel and her twin for as long as she could remember. How would they react if they knew that the metaphorical cat was out of the metaphorical bag? Why had they kept it from them to begin with? Did they think that Mabel and Dipper were gross, disgusting, maybe even sinful?

Not that they were particularly religious people (in fact, Mabel has never even heard them mention their personal views on religion, let alone if they believed in a specific one), but even so, maybe they were so disgusted by having children who were soulmates that they would rather see them suffer apart than be happy together? Was that it?

Mabel wasn’t sure, and she didn’t know what to think. She loved her parents. She’d always thought she’d had a great relationship with them. Had she been wrong? She must have been, if they’d been lying to her and keeping her from her soulmate for seventeen years. Did they even love her or Dipper at all, even a little?

Feeling agonized and conflicted, Mabel pushed her parents from her mind, grabbed a wash cloth off the towel rack, and opened the clear door of the walk-in shower. There were two knobs, each helpfully labeled, so she turned them to her desired setting and stepped back to let the water heat up.

She looked down at the soulmark on her wrist.

Her soulmark.

Dipper’s soulmark.

Their soulmark.

Mabel still didn’t really understand how this could’ve happened. Had she really had it all her life? And if she’d had it all her life, then so had he.

She ran her thumb over the lines; they were raised just a little, like the lines on a tattoo. Soulmarks couldn’t be imitated with tattoos, though. They had a… a shine to them, an iridescence. They didn’t sparkle, exactly, but if Mabel turned her wrist, light would reflect off of it in the strangest way.

She’d always hated her soulmark. As soon as she was old enough to understand what it was and what it meant for her, she hated it. Not so much that she’d cut it from her body the way some people did, of course, but she certainly wasn’t a fan.

But being with Dipper made it seem kinda beautiful, in a way. She wondered how he’d felt about his, knowing they were soulmates for so long but thinking she wouldn’t want him. Had he hated it, too? Did he still?

There was steam forming on the shower door, so Mabel stepped inside, leaning her head back to get her hair wet.

The more she thought about it -him knowing that they were soulmates but thinking she wouldn’t want him, that is-, the more she thought that that was a really fucking stupid idea. Like. Where had he even come up with that? Had he never seen soulmates touch each other for the first time? Everyone had seen soulmates touch each other for the first time at least once! Everyone had also seen soulmates be super lovey-dovey, ‘cause that’s just kinda how soulmates tended to be. It was a universally accepted fact.

She rubbed the motel’s boring, scentless conditioner into her hair and left it to sit as she washed her body with their boring, scentless bar of soap.

It was, like, a biological imperative, or something like that. He was the science nerd. Didn’t he know all that stuff? Mabel felt like Dipper should know all that stuff. He’d been talking like he knew a lot about such things before. He’d mentioned, like, studies and stuff, she thought, but she’d been pretty out of it at the time so she could have definitely been wrong.

Once her body and washcloth were clean and the conditioner was rinsed out, Mabel lathered shampoo into her hair and rinsed it out, too. She ended up using most of both bottles. Whoops. There was a little left in each, at least. Oh, well.

She was rinsing the last of the conditioner from her hair when she heard the bathroom door creak open.

“Eek!” Squeaked Mabel as she turned around abruptly, reflexively covering her body with her hands and the washcloth, both being their own unique brand of useless in that regard and therefore not covering anything of note at all. She was slightly less alarmed when she saw it was just Dipper, who was also naked, and that was…

Mabel did not claim any level of expertise on male anatomy, but she was pretty sure that that was a boner. It certainly appeared to be a boner. As in, it was most definitely Dipper’s dick (side note, she still was unsure how he’d managed to get it in her and why it had felt so good because it looked like it would hurt her more than anything else), and it was sticking out, which… they don’t typically do that when they’re just kinda, like, chilling, right?

He smiled at her, and she forgot all about his boner. His smile was just heavenly. Even more so whenever he deigned to direct it at her (bless her with it, more like).

“Can I…?” He gestured in the direction of the shower.

“Oh! Y-yeah, of course! I’m done anyway,” she hung the washcloth up and was gonna get out, but he opened the shower door.

Mabel glanced down briefly. She couldn’t help it. He was naked, and she’d spent so much time admiring the way his body looked and moved that it was fascinating in a whole bunch of different ways. And also sexy, so there was that.

Oooooookay , she thought to herself. That’s a dick. That’s a dick pointing right at you. It’s just… it’s right just there, man. Stay calm, stay cool, dicks don’t bite.

“Wha-wha-what’s up?” She stuttered out. So much for “cool”.

He grinned again, and Mabel thought she might burst into flames, and she vaguely noticed the water droplets spilling out onto the tile, and-

“I meant if it’s okay if I shower with you.”

“Oh!” She blinked rapidly, startled. “Oh. Okay… then,” stepping backwards a bit to let him in as he closed the door behind him. It was strange, but despite knowing the fact that he’d seen (and touched, kissed, and even sucked, and also literally been inside of) her body, she still kinda felt the urge to cover herself up. She squashed it down, though.

He leaned over (and subsequently closer to her, but his eyes were shut when he did so) to wet his hair, and reached for the shampoo. “Sorry, I used most of both bottles,” she said quietly.

“Eh, that’s fine, I don’t really need a whole lot,” he told her as he squirted the remainder of the shampoo into his hand.

“Y’know, it’s actually better for your hair to use conditioner first and then leave it in while you do everything else, because tha-“ she was babbling. She knew she was babbling, but she couldn’t really help it. He was naked. She was naked. They’d both been post-coitus levels of naked and all up against each other for, like, hours! After a lifetime of not touching, too! Surely a bit of nervousness was warranted, right?

“Mabes,” he cut her off, affection in his eyes as he quickly and methodically rinsed his hair out (how had he already finished washing it? Dafaq?). “I don’t really… I mean, I don’t think most guys use conditioner.”

“O-oh,” she seemed to have difficulty forming coherent thoughts, and therefore coherent sentences, as well.

When the last of the shampoo bubbles had been rinsed from his hair, he looked down at her again and kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re so cute when you’re nervous.”

“I- I am not nervous!” she informed him indignantly, lurching away slightly, but only slightly, honest. If she said it to him like she believed it, maybe that would make it true. (Note: No. No it would not.)

“Yes, you are,” he said matter-of-factly, lathering up the washcloth with the bar of boring-as-all-hell soap and washing his body in the same quick, methodical way as his hair. “It’s okay. I kinda like it.”

“Well, even if I am nervous,” she crossed her arms over her chest (which was still bare, and he could see it, how bizarre), “it’s perfectly reasonable. How are you not nervous?!”

“Oh, I am. I’m actually pretty terrified right now,” he rinsed out the washcloth and grinned at her again. “I’m just better at hiding it than you are.”

Her mouth dropped open. “You are not!”

“I definitely am. Case in point: you,” he gestured to Mabel, “me,” he to himself. “Case closed.”

“Hey,” she said, sticking a finger in his face as he turned himself this way and that beneath the water to let the suds run down his skin and- no, no, focus! “Hey,” she repeated. “I’ll have you know that I’ve been pretending you don’t make me feel embarrassed or nervous or scared out of my mind for years, and I was so good at it that you were under the impression I wasn’t interested in you at all despite being so in love with you I thought I’d explode, so I’d say I did a pretty damn good job, thank you very much!”

“Hm, that’s a good point,” he said thoughtfully, reaching down to brush her wet hair from her face. “I’m glad I was wrong.”

“You wouldn’t have needed to wonder if you’d just told me the truth,” her voice was quiet, and it was difficult even for her to hear it over the sound of water hitting tile. “I was waiting for you to find your soulmate, y’know. I’d just kinda accepted that I’d have to watch you fall in love with somebody else, and I’d be stuck keeping my feelings for you a secret.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her, his voice just as soft, stroking her cheek. “I was scared, and I was so sure you wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with me -not like that, at least-, whether we were soulmarked or not.”

She shook her head, her wet hair moving about her face in thick strands. “I’d have fallen in love with you no matter what, Dipper.” Then, after a moment: “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to,” he told her quietly. “I really wanted to. But I also didn’t. I was scared you wouldn’t want me the way I want you. Wouldn’t love me the way I love you.” He was silent for a moment, staring at her with a look in his eyes she couldn’t quite name. “Wouldn’t you have been scared, if you had found out first?”

She looked away from him then. “I- yeah. Yeah, I probably would’ve been,” she said with a nod. “I mean, you still scare me.”

He jerked back as if she’d slapped him. “I- I- what? Why do I scare you?”

“Because I love you,” she told him simply, as if she’d been pointing out the snow on the ground or the clouds in the sky. “More than that, I’m in love with you.”

“You’re scared of being in love with me?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m used to being in love with you. It’s not new. But this is much… it’s bigger than I thought it was, y’know? Like, yeah, I’ve been in love with you for years, I know how to handle that. But I never expected anything to actually come from it.” She took a breath before speaking again, staring at the floor, the way the spray from the shower ricocheted off their feet. “It never occurred to me that my soulmate might be you, that that’s why I couldn’t control my feelings for you better. I just…” she sighed. “I thought I was a freak. I thought there was something wrong with me. I’ve thought that for so long and now I’m finding out it’s totally normal, what I’ve been feeling all this time, and I don’t know what to do with it.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her gently, sincerely. “I never wanted to make you feel like that. I hate that I did. I wish I’d… I dunno. I wish I’d done something differently.”

She sighed again. “Honestly? I don’t know if I’d have done anything differently than you did, if it had been me. I might’ve done the exact same thing.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “Still wish I hadn’t done it the way I did.”

“So do I,” she said quietly. “We could’ve been together like this a lot longer.” Startled at herself, she backtracked. “N-not necessarily like this,” she gestured vaguely around them, her eyes wide. “Just, y’know. Like. In general. Together in general.”

He smiled, laughter in his eyes at her fumbling, and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, leaning down to press his lips to hers. She brought her hands up to hesitantly rest them on his sides, which were bare because he was still fucking naked holy shit that’s right-

Tilting his head to deepen the kiss, he backed her up against the cold tile of the shower wall, becoming increasingly desperate in how he kissed her.

“I- I’ve wanted you since I woke up,” he told her, moving down to suck at her neck and gripping her breast roughly.

“I want you, too,” Mabel gasped out. He reached down between her legs and stroked her slit a few times before pushing a finger inside her. She gasped again, clutching at his arm, her fingers digging into his skin, and leaned her head back against the tiled wall. He added another finger, slowly pumping them in and out of her, and her fingers tightened on his arm when he started to rub her clit with his thumb.

He hadn’t stopped sucking at her neck, and he moved his fingers faster and faster, causing her to whimper and struggle to stay standing. How did he know exactly what to do to her to make her squirm? How was he more in tune with her body than she herself was? Mabel didn’t know, didn’t understand how he could touch her so perfectly that she was ridiculously close to orgasming already, but he was doing it.

Her legs began to shake, and he moved back up to kiss her. She could feel his erection pressing against her, and he was twisting her nipple and moving his fingers even faster, and she was so close, so fucking close-

“Dip-per,” she gasped against his lips, and he nodded.

“That’s it,” he told her. “Cum for me, Mabes.”

She cried out as she did, and when he pulled his fingers out of her, she winced at how sensitive she still was. She could feel her heartbeat throughout her body. It had been a particularly good orgasm, after all.

She was slumped against him, and she heard the shower raining down on his back. He ran a hand up her side, kissing her forehead lightly.

“I love you,” he told her softly.

“I love you, too, Dip.”

He pulled away slightly, smiling contentedly and stroking her cheek.

After perhaps two minutes or so, Mabel remembered Dipper’s very much still present erection. Ah. Right, she thought. Well, first time for everything and all that.

Lowering herself to her knees (the tile might’ve felt colder if she hadn’t pretty much been out of the water for… however long he’d been in there with her, which, unbeknownst to either party, was really only about ten minutes), Mabel discovered that, as it turns out, dicks, like most objects, appear larger the closer one is to them.

This made perfect sense, of course, but despite knowing this, Mabel was still quite alarmed at the evidence leading to this particular observation. Like, she knew it had already gone inside her (which… how, exactly?), but it was still somewhat alarming to see it up close.

The aphrodisiac effect of touching for the first time had worn off the night before, so while Mabel was aroused, it wasn’t so overwhelming that she entirely forgot about the logistics of how in the actual fuck is that supposed to fit in a person’s mouth, et cetera. Still, though, despite being rather intimidating, it was… it was… it was his, Dipper’s, and she very much wanted to touch him.

“You… okay?” Dipper asked from above her, when she’d been staring at his junk for a solid minute and a half.

“Yup!” She said too quickly, the squeakiness in her voice echoing off the tile far too much for her liking.

“You don’t… I mean, you don’t have to, y’know…”

“I know!” She said, also too quickly, before backtracking. “It’s just, well. I’ve never actually, like, seen one up close, so I don’t really… know what to do with it…”

“W-well,” he coughed uncomfortably. “You could… touch it. If- if you wanted?” He voiced it like a question, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer or not.

“Okay.” Yeah, touching’s fine. She could do touching. She could totally do touching. Easy-peasy.

How did guys…? Reaching out hesitantly, Mabel gently wrapped her palm around his shaft, his wet pubic hair brushing against her hand. It was much harder than she was expecting, but also weirdly squishy. How could something be hard and squishy at the same time?

“You can- you can squeeze it a bit harder,” he said breathily. Harder? Wouldn’t she hurt him? Well, he’d tell her if she hurt him, so maybe she should just…

Squeezing his shaft elicited a gasp from him, so she kept the pressure up and moved her hand up and down it a few times.

“Is this okay?”

He nodded wordlessly, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, so she kept going, moving her hand faster. Something pearled at the tip, and Mabel had the strangest desire to taste it, so she licked it. Dipper let out a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan, so she licked the tip again, this time swirling her tongue around the head before taking it in her mouth.

One of his hands threaded through her hair gently, and when she looked up at him, he rested his head on an arm against the tiled wall, his other hand clenched into a fist.

Mabel attempted to take as much of him into her mouth as she could, but it really wasn’t very much. She did, however, manage to gauge what she could take and what she couldn’t, so when she began to slowly move her mouth along his length, she didn’t have much difficulty stopping where she needed to.

Dipper was making these kind of breathy gasps, like he was struggling to inhale, so she moved her mouth faster, as fast as she was able.

“F-fuck, Mabel,” he moaned her name quietly, but it reverberated against the tiles. She kept moving her mouth over him, but took him a bit too fast, it seemed, because her teeth grazed him and he yelled. “T-teeth,” he squeaked out.

“Ooumsowy,” she said around him, the words coming out poorly. Whoops. Oh well.

Pulling her lips to cover her teeth to avoid anything further dick-scraping situations, she sucked in her cheeks experimentally, just to see how he would react, reaching up to squeeze one of her breasts in her hand, pinching her nipple and moaning around him. His grip on her hair tightened a bit, just enough for her to feel a slight tug on her scalp, and he jerked his hips forward involuntarily.

He hit the back of her throat, and she choked, tearing up, and she looked up at him again.

“Shit, sorry,” he said breathily. Mabel didn’t mind, though. She liked that he hadn’t been able to control himself. Thinking about him losing control, losing himself because of her, what she was doing to him, she moaned around him again, pulling at her nipple and taking him as deep as she could, as fast as she could. His breathing was getting faster, and he really seemed to be getting off on her moaning, so she moaned again, and again, bobbing her head back and forth.

The sounds he was making were so insanely sexy Mabel thought she was gonna lose her mind, and she wished she could take him deeper without gagging because quite simply, she wanted every inch of him in her mouth and was thoroughly dissatisfied that she couldn’t manage it. Still, though, he seemed to be enjoying himself. She was gazing up at him, her lips stretched around his cock as she moaned and fondled her breast, and he was looking down at her with this look in his half-lidded eyes she couldn’t put a name to.

It was like he was seeing her for the first time even though they’d known each other all their lives, like she was everything, everything to him, the way he was everything to her. She wasn’t going very fast, as she was still quite inexperienced, but he was moaning and gasping and whimpering and breathing her name and fisting her hair and looking at her like she was some kind of goddess and then-

And then he yanked himself away from her, and there was a string of saliva between the head and her mouth that was broken as he leaned back against the shower wall, gasping. The water hit her face and she sputtered, scrambling backwards.

“Shit, sorry,” he muttered, clearly out of breath.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” She asked, somewhat concerned.

“What? No! No, not at all,” he reassured her, offering her a hand to help her up. She took it, and he pulled her up against him. “That was… I mean, that was awesome, it really, really was. It’s just I wanna do, uh. Y’know. Other stuff, too.”

Okay, so maybe she had just been sucking his dick, but she still felt like his face was way too close to hers, so it took several seconds for what he said to process in Mabel’s mind. “You mean, you wanna, like…?”

“Only if you want to,” his smile was a small, adorably embarrassed one, and it made her heart flutter and the bees act up.

When she nodded silently at him, he leaned down to kiss her softly, reaching around to turn off the water. He pushed the shower door open and stepped out, pulling her out after him. She tripped a little and giggled at her own clumsiness.

They were gonna have sex for the second time (the second!), and Mabel was feeling downright giddy just from thinking about it.

“What’re you giggling about, giggles?” he was smiling affectionately at her as he handed her a towel before proceeding to dry himself off.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #gf fanfiction #pinecest #mabel pines #dipper pines #fanfiction #fanfic #looks like someone picked a whole bushel of oopsie daisies #my writing

13 notes · View notes

callboxkat · 4 years

Text

A Little Nightmare (part 6)

Author’s note: My puppy was kind enough to let me write today! Sorry about the wait, and thank you all for your patience. :) I hope you enjoy, and more importantly, that you’re all staying safe. <3

Warnings: fear, death mention, mentions of being eaten, illness and injury, referenced drowning, pressuring people into things, food mention, censored swearing, arguing, rat/mouse mention, a dog

Word count: 3530

Infinitesimal Masterpost!

...

Joan opened up the cabinet beside the microwave, their eyes scanning its contents, searching for the small red and black coffee tin that should have been inside. They frowned, moving aside a few spice canisters. The tin wasn’t there, as far as they could tell. Where was it?

They stepped back, eyebrows drawing together, and opened the neighboring cabinet door. Perhaps they had misremembered where they had last put the coffee? They didn’t drink it much, so that was a reasonable possibility. They hoped they weren’t out. It had been Nunya’s one request, the one thing she claimed might make her forgive them for their blunder with the dog.

That had been pretty dumb of them, Joan thought, taking their eyes off of Marco long enough for him to get to Nunya’s door. They should have realized that she would be nervous about a dog sniffing around, even if he couldn’t get into the room.

They sighed, moving on to the next cabinet.

…

With Joan gone, Remy turned back to her plate of food. She picked up the strawberry and took a bite, closing her eyes with a soft, pleased hum at the sweet, juicy taste. She very much liked the strawberries—she didn’t exactly get them often, surprise surprise, given that most humans she’d encountered didn’t just leave fresh fruit lying around for littles to find. Not that she was going to show Joan just how glad she was to have them, but she would take the fruit.

Perks of almost dying and being caught by a human, she supposed.

She paused to wipe the juice off of her chin, glanced over at the rest of the strawberries on the plate, and decided she didn’t have to try to make this one last. She finished off that strawberry, leaves and all (it was small, stop judging her) and reached for another. She dragged it towards her, wincing at the strain on her chest, and took a bite. She slowed down a bit at this point, not wanting to get full too fast. She wanted to savor it, and actually taste her food. Who knew when the next time she’d get strawberries could be?

Remy was about a quarter of the way finished with the berry when the bedroom door opened, causing her to jump. She turned around to see Joan poking their head in the door with a guilty expression. She squinted, wondering what this was about.

“Um… hey. I’m sorry, but turns out I don’t have any coffee after all. I must have run out and forgot. I can get some, though, if you want? It shouldn’t take long.”

Remy looked at them for a moment, searching, then slowly nodded. Late coffee was better than no coffee, obviously, assuming that that was really what Joan was going to do.

“Maybe you can take a nap while I’m gone? Marco’ll be in my room the whole time.”

Remy’s expression soured at the mention of the dog. Joan seemed to be waiting for an answer, though, so she just said, “Yeah. Maybe.”

Joan nodded, glancing away, then retreated. The door closed with a soft click.

Once she was sure they were gone, Remy went back to her food, still ignoring the peanuts and crackers that Joan had brought her along with the strawberries. She had those all the time, at least comparatively. While she was accustomed to often having trouble finding any kind of food, if she had options, she was going with the fruit, thanks.

She finished about half of the second strawberry, then got to her feet, having no plans to take a nap like the human had suggested. Sure, she was still tired, her chest throbbed, her headache had only slightly let up, and her nose was starting to feel stuffy; but now would be a good time to go exploring again, with less chance of the human interrupting. There might be something she had missed the night before.

She made herself a mental map of the room, taking note of any potential escape routes: outlet covers, the vent cover that she might be able to squeeze through, the door, maybe the window; as well as hiding spots: the nightstand, the bed, the closet, and the space behind the door when it was open. She wished it wasn’t such a plain room. More hiding spots would be nice.

Still no red flags that she could find. In this room, anyway. At one point, she heard the tapping of claws in the neighboring room as the dog walked around. That was a pretty big red flag, especially since she had no guarantees that it really couldn’t get to her. But mostly, she focused on exploring this room.

Just when she was starting to consider calling it quits, so that she’d be back in the blanket when Joan returned, she found it.

A seam, so perfectly fitted that she nearly missed it, in the wall under the bed. Remy brushed her fingers along it, frowning, discovering that it made a door-like shape. A distinctly her-sized door-like shape.

She hesitated, then shook her head. Why should she be nervous? What did she expect to find inside, a booby trap like some Indiana Jones movie? Ridiculous. The worst thing she was likely to find was, like, a giant rat. Or maybe a skeleton.

Remy’s mouth thinned.

But probably nothing. Nothing was the most likely answer.

With that thought, she hooked her fingertips in the seam and pulled. It took her some effort, probably because it was stuck and definitely not because she was so weak; but then it gave, and the door swung open. It was cleverly only partially cut on one side so as to allow the movement but not let the door fall open entirely. She’d luckily pulled on the correct side. It would have been embarrassing, to be standing there tugging on the wrong side of the door for who knew how long.

Remy glanced behind her, towards the room at large, as if to make sure Joan hadn’t returned, then turned back to her find.

“Hello?” she awkwardly whisper-called, feeling very stupid but also apprehensive. “Is, uh, is there anybody in there?”

She didn’t get an answer, unsurprisingly—even if there really were other littles in the house, they could be practically anywhere, and she was unwilling to raise her voice. She poked her head in the wall, hoping for some clues.

The tunnel within clearly hadn’t been used in some time, she realized with a sinking heart, probably at least a year if not more. There was dust on the floor, and as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she even saw a couple of dead insects lying on the ground about a foot down the tunnel.

Remy swallowed and stepped back.

So… no littles, then. At least, no littles recently. Perhaps they had moved out because of the dog. That would certainly make sense.

Of course, it would also make sense that they had been eaten by the dog, or killed by Joan or some other human, or had had some other horrible thing befall them; but Remy was trying to think positively, here.

She stepped back, taking a breath, and shut the door. It blended nearly seamlessly with the wall once more.

Did she want to stay, after finding this? What if something had happened to those littles, and it had had to do with Joan? What if this was her one warning to get out while she could?

She put one arm around herself and rubbed her sore head with the other hand. She swore, conflicted.

If she stayed, she would be taking the risk that this really was a clue to some horrible thing that Joan was hiding. But if she left, she would definitely be putting her life at risk, when there might well be a perfectly reasonable and non-nefarious explanation for there to be abandoned tunnels in the walls.

She debated for a long moment, and eventually, she decided to continue to stay, for now. Leaving posed a big risk, especially since she wouldn’t even be able to get back to her supplies and still had nowhere to call home, not to mention her… current situation.

She made her way back to the blanket, glancing several times towards the hidden door along the way. She sat down there, hugged the baggie of peas to her chest, and waited.

Nearly two hours had passed in total, judging by the movement of the shadows in the room, by the time Joan returned. Remy was starting to get antsy. She was promised coffee, and she was not known for being patient. Granted, she was barely known at all, but no one who did know her would call her patient.

She turned as soon as she heard the knock on the door, opening her mouth to ask where exactly they had been for so long; but when they actually came in, she broke off, her mouth beginning to water.

She recognized the rich aroma as soon as the door opened, tickling her nose tantalizingly from across the room. She sat up, unable to help the thrum of anticipation within her.

Joan poked their head in, smiling and carrying a tray laden with goodies that Remy’s eyes immediately zeroed in on. “I’m back!” they greeted, “and I’ve got something for you.”

Remy pushed off the baggie of frozen peas—well, they weren’t quite frozen anymore—as Joan approached. The human stopped about a foot away and went to set down the array, then paused. They picked up the shot glass filled with dark brown liquid and took a sip from it, probably to demonstrate that it was safe. Remy just watched, shifting where she sat like a kid trying to contain her excitement.

Joan lowered themself to the floor and set down the tray in front of her, then scooted back a couple of feet to give her space. The tray they left behind was laden with a couple of sugar cubes, two shot glasses, several little bowls made of tin foil, plus some extra unshaped foil, and even what looked like a small cookie. The dark brown liquid in the first shot glass was obviously the coffee, while the other must have been the milk. Almond milk, she remembered Joan mentioning it was. She didn’t know what exactly that was—almonds were a nut, weren’t they?—but she didn’t ask. She had her coffee, finally. That was all she cared about.

A bit of steam curled lazily from the first shot glass. Hot coffee? She knew coffee was usually supposed to be served hot, or at least, not room temperature; but she’d never actually had hot coffee before. She glanced up at Joan, then slowly approached. She paused, then poked one finger into the coffee to test the temperature. It didn’t seem too hot, so she took a tiny sip. It was bitter, but in a familiar, pleasant way; and it warmed her insides. She could tell it was freshly made, too, which was not exactly usual for her caffeinated treats.

“You like it?” Joan asked, seeming hesitant.

“Hmm,” Remy hummed, too pleased to bother with a sarcastic comment. She looked at the rest of the tray’s contents, then picked up one of the clumsily folded aluminum foil cups and used it to scoop out some more of the coffee, filling it about three quarters of the way. After a pause, she filled the rest up with almond milk. She took a sip, belatedly realizing that she hadn’t seen Joan try the milk. But it seemed okay.

Coffee and milk. Not bad, actually.

She finished her first cup and went to refill it. She had already decided that hot coffee was vastly superior to the room temperature kind. This must have been what “good coffee” meant. She felt briefly gratified that she had insisted upon the good kind.

Meanwhile, Joan was watching, but totally pretending not to be.

She glanced over at them as she measured out the coffee, milk, and sugar ratio she wanted to try next. “What took you so long, anyway, girl?” Don’t get her wrong—she sure as heck wasn’t complaining about the extra investigation time, since it would have been rather… ah, awkward to explain what she was doing if they’d walked in in the middle of it; but she had thought that humans were faster than that at getting around. Her tone was slightly accusatory, suspicious about what they could have been up to, but it was mellowed slightly by her satisfaction at finally getting her caffeinated nectar of the gods. A bit of her nerves might have shown in her voice, which sucked; but Joan, thankfully, either didn’t notice or pretended not to.

“Oh—sorry, I had to stop upstairs for a minute. One of my tenants emailed about a leaky faucet. I had to take care of it. And then I had some trouble figuring out how to make some cups for you….”

“…Tenants?” Remy echoed, not recognizing the word.

“Yeah. I own the building we’re in. I rent most of it to other people, they pay me for the space, and I take care of the building.”

Remy blinked. So, this wasn’t just a house, after all—it was an apartment building. Now that she paid attention, she thought she could hear something above them, maybe someone walking around, and a television or something playing. She hadn’t noticed before. Something that she felt was more than justified in her case.

More importantly, though…. “Are you going to try to make me “pay” too?” she asked suspiciously. “For, like, taking up space here, or whatever?” Maybe that explained the empty tunnels…. The littles hadn’t been able to pay whatever Joan’s price was. And now the human was trying to trick her into taking their place.

“What? No—no, that’s a different thing. You don’t owe me anything. I promise.” They frowned, seeming upset.

“Hm.” Remy would hold them to that promise.

Joan stayed silent until Remy went back for her third cup.

“You know,” they ventured quietly, making her pause, “I really do think you’d like Marco if you met him.”

Remy sent them a sideways glance, scooping the coffee into her cup. Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a great time getting eaten by that mutt.

“He’s really sweet,” they continued. “Not threatening at all.”

Remy crumbled a few grains of sugar off of one of the cubes and sprinkled them in. Once they dissolved, she took a small sip, glancing once in Joan’s direction, skeptical of their claims. She took another sip of coffee and firmly directed her small, satisfied look at the cup. If only Joan wasn’t here, annoying her.

“Maybe if you gave him a chance, you’d see you don’t have to be scared.”

Remy still pretended not to hear them, focused on her coffee.

Joan sighed.

Remy tapped her fingers on the sides of the cup. “How long have you had that thing, anyway?”

“What?”

“The dog.”

“Oh. About two years now.”

She took a contemplative sip of her drink. That timeline did check out with how long the tunnel appeared to have been empty. So, the dog probably had had something to do with it. Which wasn’t exactly a surprise, but it was nice to have her suspicions confirmed.

“And he’s never, like, caught anything, right?”

Joan had perked up, apparently thinking she was considering their offer. “No, never. I was actually kind of afraid he might be vision impaired or something when I first got him, he was so chill around birds and stuff. Turns out he’s just like that, though.”

“And what about… uh, mice? Or, like, rats, I guess.”

Joan’s eyes shifted to her tail, which twitched self-consciously. “No, nothing like that.”

“Have you ever even had mice around him? How would you know if you’ve never had mice?”

Joan looked sheepish. “Well… we used to have mice, I think. I put out some traps, but I never caught any. I think they’re gone, now, though. I haven’t seen any sign of them in a few years.”

Remy mulled that answer over for a moment, and the tone in which it was said. They hadn’t avoided the question, and it sure didn’t seem like they were hiding anything in it. She didn’t exactly like that they’d put out mouse traps to try to catch littles, but it seemed that they didn’t know that they weren’t actually mice. The answer still didn’t tell her what she needed to know, however, and it was always possible she was missing something. Focusing was not her strong suit at the moment, and she’d only known this person for a day—not to mention that she hadn’t ever even spoken to a human before now, and hadn’t planned to. She was no psychic, or expert on how to read humans. She was just doing her best.

The pause was lengthening, so Joan spoke up. “He really is very sweet. He’s harmless.” They seemed to know they were pushing it, but they still asked, “Would it really so bad, to just see him, so you could see for yourself?”

Remy took a long sip of coffee. She didn’t want Joan getting ahead of themself just because she was asking questions. “Nah, girl. Pass.”

…

Joan wilted a bit at her flat, negative response, but they tried not to be too disappointed. They tried to put themself in her shoes (or boots, technically). They tried to picture what it would be like to face a dog like Marco at her size. They supposed they might be a bit intimidated by a corgi the size of a house, even if he was a sweetheart. Especially if they hadn’t known that he was a sweetheart. Corgi or not. Maybe it was a bit cruel of them, trying to push her into this, despite how much they felt that it would put her at ease to know what kind of dog was “lurking” outside.

They dropped the topic for the time being, watching her enjoy her coffee. As she went back for a fourth and then fifth cup, Joan started to wonder where she was putting it all. Did she have a coffee-loving black hole for a stomach? Perhaps it was good that they’d gotten her decaf coffee. They’d debated for a while at the store, wondering if caffeine was the best idea for someone in her condition. They’d also grabbed some regular coffee, too, just in case; but they’d made her decaf for now. If she somehow ended up staying longer and wanted regular coffee, they had it.

“So...” Nunya said, breaking Joan out of their thoughts, “what happens when your absolutely flawless plan fails?”

Oh. She just wanted to criticize them some more.

“It’s not like he’ll be near you. I’ll have him on a short leash.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” they said. “I told you. I won’t let him near you if you don’t want him to be. Definitely not until you’re comfortable with it. And if that never happens, it never does.”

“Uh-huh. Girl, you said you want me to meet him. How do you meet someone and not get close to them?”

“Just see him, really. You don’t even know what he looks like. Would it really hurt just to see him?” From the sound of it, Nunya had had a very difficult time sleeping the night before, imagining their enormous, vicious, bloodthirsty dog coming after her. Seeing the fluffy, adorably harmless reality might reassure her and make her stay that much easier. She wasn’t going to get better if she didn’t feel safe enough to rest.

…

Remy frowned down at her cup. Part of the reason she was drinking so much was so that the caffeine would perk her up and make it easier to think clearly, but it didn’t seem to be working. Her headache and head fog were still overpowering. She stifled a cough, sniffling, and put the cup down.

Joan was still waiting for her answer. Well, she’d already answered, like, a bunch of times, even if most of them hadn’t technically been verbal; and it shouldn’t have taken a genius to get the hint. But that wasn’t good enough for them, apparently.

She should have just reiterated a flat “hell f*cking no” and clammed up on the topic, but she paused.

She thought of the empty tunnels again.

A part of her felt curious—okay, maybe obligated was a better word—to find out what had happened to their builders. But was it even worth the risk, when, if Joan was to be trusted, she was leaving the next afternoon?

“Maybe you can think on it?” Joan asked.

Remy closed her eyes, resigned. “Fine,” she huffed.

“Fine… you’ll think about it?”

“Fine, I’ll do it. But you, ma’am, had better make damn f*cking sure that that mutt of yours can’t reach me.”

Joan’s shoulders loosened, and they sent her a relieved if uncertain smile. “Well, I do have an idea… but I’m not sure how much you’ll like it.”

64 notes · View notes

smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

One Thing Right - Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody x Reader (Animal Kingdom)

Author’s Note: So, whilst this is a stand alone - it can also be a little re-imagining of ‘Last Habit’ (Specifically how long it takes her to forgive him) - and was actually part of Last Habit, before that story took me another direction and left me with this-!

Heavily based on the restaurant scene from both the movie and episode 1 of the show (If you’re here for the Show!)

One Thing Right - Marshmello & Kane Brown

Disclaimer: Animal Kingdom characters/plot not mine / lyrics & gifs not mine / leap from “Last Habit” idea based on discussion with Ms. @mandy23b

Premise: Still frustrated with Andrew from a continuing argument, you’re determined to hold it together for a dinner event. In reality though, can you help doing anything other than forgiving him? Even if he doesn’t apologise?

Words: 6469

Warnings: Swearing / References to drug taking

_______

I've cheated and I’ve lied I've broke down and I've cried I’ve got nothing to hide no more I've loved and I've hurt Broken people down with words More grace than I deserve, for sure Known to be crazy, known to be wild Mama had herself a little devilish child Ain't no stranger to the troubles at my door You saw right through my pain Kept us patient while I changed Never even crossed your mind to walk away When I was gettin' crazy, reckless, and wild Actin' like my mama's little devilish child It took a heart like yours to find its place I’ve been at the wrong place at the wrong time Chasin' all the wrong things most of my life Been every kinda lost that you can't find But I got one thing right Been the kinda guy girls' mamas don't like Runnin' with the wrong crowd on the wrong nights 'Cause I've been wrong about a million times But I got one thing right... you Yeah, I got you ---

It all started with a nervous, little, nonchalant proposal. The same way that Andrew always asked you to do anything with him. Like a ‘no’ was no big deal… As if you would ever say no in the first place, but the alternative never really seemed to cross his mind. “So, uh, the guys are doing some… wives and girlfriends thing next week… I dunno…” He tapped the sideboard and wouldn’t meet your eyes, “If you wanna come, then…” You raised an eyebrow; “Who are the ‘wives and girlfriends’? Surely that’s just me and Cath…? Cuz Kelly is no longer around…?” “Nicky…” “Who!?” Was Craig onto someone else already? Perhaps Darren, he was a sweetheart. Who else? “Jay’s girlfriend.” Ahhhhhh!!!! Jay. Yes, you misremembered for a moment that Andrew’s nephew was living with them now. In fact you hadn’t been over since then, so you hadn’t met him either. “Oh! Yeah, of course… Well, do you want me there?” He still wasn’t quite meeting your eyes but he nodded, “Yeah, I think so.” You smiled sweetly with a nod of your own; “Then, honey, of course I’ll come!” ***

Andrew drummed his fingers on the back of the empty chair next to him; and Baz knew it wouldn't end there. "She'll be here, mate. She wouldn't miss this." Andrew only stared at him across the table with a look that clearly asked him to shut up. This kind of thing was awkward enough for him, without worrying about where you were. He had been having second thoughts about going - only you wanted to be there, so he would put up with mundane social interactions for you. Also, if you were there and his social battery ran out - which it so often did - you usually came up with brilliant excuses to leave, or let him just find protection and comfort in your presence. Andrew, you've done enough... It's okay... You were always fine alone; more than confident with answering all the questions for him when it was clear he was no longer going to actively participate.

Only you hadn't shown up yet, and he had to shuffle awkwardly in his seat, almost wanting to blurt out that you were an actual real person, you were just late. But why? You hadn't given him a reason. Andrew was getting more anxious by the minute, and his best friend had to watch this unfold growing exceedingly uneasy himself. What would Andrew do if that battery ran out and you weren't here yet? What would he do if you were a no show…?

DAMN. Today, of all days, was clearly not meant to be yours. Not only had you been called into work to fix something on a weekend, but now traffic back into the city was beyond a joke and your cell phone provider decided that this particular route had next to no signal on it.

So, by the time you got to the restaurant you were flustered and frustrated, and thought you couldn't possibly have made a worse first impression. It wasn’t just the first impression either, it was what you knew would be going on in Andrew’s head that worried you more. You’d been fighting- Well, okay fighting was pushing it because you and Andrew didn’t really fight, mostly because you couldn’t help but be a little worried about exactly what may happen if you really did get to fighting with him. But his brothers had a nasty habit of doing drugs – and Andrew wasn’t ever want to miss a little bit of participation, despite the fact that you’d told him time and again that you weren’t happy when he did so. When he’d invited you to this event last week you had been excited about it. You hadn’t exactly ever hung around his family in a group like that before, and the more you thought the happier you got. Andrew never invited you to things like this because they weren’t even his scene (you supposed you might have to thank Baz for that later), so to be included at all very suddenly added a new dimension to your relationship. So, now you were super excited to meet Jay and Nicky – and finally have another Cody Girl™ to hang out with. That was until yesterday morning when you’d caught him in your apartment with drugs and subsequently thrown him out, telling him you didn’t know if you were coming today. And if you were honest with yourself you were still mad at him. But you also knew Andrew, he’d probably quietly indicated you were coming ‘no big deal’ and he certainly wouldn’t have told anyone that you’d thrown him out, suggesting you weren’t going to make it – mostly because that would have been too big of a confession. You could imagine the questions, the ammunition it would give his brothers. Selfishly you supposed your reputation was on the line here, and you didn’t want to let him down. Even if he’d let you down, Andrew just meant too much to you. Honestly, you just really really wanted to meet the kids. Besides you could sit here in traffic and reason with yourself – it was dinner, which meant a maximum of 3 hours interaction - if you were still pissed about the drugs (you would be.) then you didn’t have to go anywhere with him afterwards. Seeing everyone else was a little more important than not going just to spite him. You took a deep breath, checking your phone again – still nothing. Well, if you were late then you were shaving yet more time off having to interact, if you were prepared to see it that way.

Baz, facing the door, spotted you first and was off like a rocket. Thank GOD for that! You were holding your mobile in one hand, bag slung over your shoulder, oversized white shirt unbuttoned nearly all the way to reveal a black vest top, tucked into a work mini-skirt. But you’d slipped from your heels into your pumps to drive, and your shades were in your hair. All in all, your face said you’d had better days, but really Baz was just glad you were here. He enveloped you in a warm hug, which you were only too happy to return. "Oh, Baz! I'm so, so, SO sorry!" "What the hell happened!?" "Work-! IT. When isn't it IT?" You huffed and folded your arms, "I feel like us casing the place that one time ought to have told ya it was time to leave." You scoffed, laughing, "It's a good place to work, I just can't believe today of all days it was such a MESS - and traffic!? I haven't see it that bad when it's rush hour! I mean what the hell!!" “Aw, honey, I’m just glad you’re here – we were worried.” – about Andrew, who was worried about you. You bit your lip, looking everywhere but Baz’s face and the table, “How is he?” “He’s… Andrew. Why?” “He didn’t tell you did he?” “No.” Baz would never go for the ‘tell me what?’ if it was something so obvious as the way you looked back to him. You took a deep breath, throwing your phone into your bag, “Okay.” And then more to yourself than to Baz, “It’s gonna be fine.” “Woah, you… you wanna talk about it-!?” He stepped backward with your step forward and held his hand out, concerned. You shook your head, “Not right now, thanks Baz.” And you really did appreciate his concern, “I just wanna meet everyone!”

Andrew looked just as relieved as Baz did, swivelled in his seat now to watch you both walk through the restaurant, by this time Baz was already trying to lighten your mood and he’d made you laugh more than once; you were smiling – he was good at that. Andrew vacated his seat to take the last few paces to hug you himself; that movement was important – he knew exactly what he’d done, and you weren’t sure if you were supposed to accept his PDA as an apology. But something about him holding you in his arms softened you for a moment; "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry!" You mumbled into his shirt, "I really... I really AM sorry! It's been the morning from hell..." He shook his head, almost not caring; loving the feel of you holding him this close, your nails digging into his shirt. You gave him just the energy shot he needed. "It's okay..." He mumbled, though you felt that was probably far from the truth, "I'm just glad you made it safe..."

He let you slip from his arms, PDA wasn't his thing, so you knew this was because he needed it desperately only. Or you were right and it really was in apology. You kissed his cheek gently, feeling that would be the most comfortable, and rounded the table quickly to hug Darren. He was the baby, and looked and acted like it. He was like the good natured one who had yet to be fully dragged into this mess. You might have been a complete outsider, but Andrew told you as much as you were prepared to hear... Or that he knew you had to know. Usually that came with his more protective nature. That put you in solidarity with the youngest Cody sibling, and you felt you probably liked him the most – Darren liked you too; though you knew he was a little wary of your relationship. "What they got ya in for on a Saturday!?" He was referring to your attire, and you noticed Craig linger a little too long on the fact your white blouse had buttons undone to just the wrong side of inappropriate. "Oh. You know the company has to be running smoothly Monday morning and that’s that..." You sighed, “I’m so sorry.” He laughed, “Aw, you don’t need to apologise to me.” “No, only the whole damn table…” But Darren patted your back gently, “Well! Get on with it, we’re starving-!” You skirted the table while saying ‘Hi’ to Craig, Smurf and having an animated five minute conversation with Cath that had Baz rolling his eyes and sighing; "GIRLS! She's late enough!" Cath pushed him with a laugh, as you bashfully kept running around the table to where Andrew was still standing up, leaning on the back of his chair. At least there was something resembling a smile on his face as he watched you interact with his family. "Sorry, honey..." You almost smacked yourself, but realised there wasn’t really any stopping you, your heart was starting to overrule your head. You’d have to try to keep yourself in check – then again… He squinted slightly at the cute nickname, but pulled your chair out for you, to which you thanked him again as he pushed you in and reseated himself. "Can we EAT now!?!" Craig huffed, clearly on the less kind side of annoyed; "I was ready to order, like, 50 minutes ago!" You flushed and covered your face with your hands, "OH GOD!! I'M SO SORRY!" "He's just being a prick... Y/N... You're fine..." Baz's voice at least held a laugh, but you weren't sure it helped your feeling. Like he hadn’t already commented on it-! Andrew placed his arm around the back of your chair and shook his head at his sibling. Say something like that again and just wait until we get home. You liked that movement, it made you feel safe and comfortable. It was an assurance you sometimes needed in situations like this. Yet you knew you should still be mad at him; you were about to spend this meal incredibly torn…

"So!" You referred to the two teenagers sitting at the far end of the table. "You must be Jay and Nicky? I confess, what I know is little, although I have heard a bit. It's nice to meet you! I'm Y/N!" "Guess they might know a little about you, too..." Baz gave you an amused look that told you they'd be lucky if they'd even heard your name before you said it. Andrew shuffled in his seat in response to this, he needn’t have reacted at all - you had that kind of hunch yourself. The teens bashfully introduced themselves in answer to you as everyone ordered – in the back of your mind you were already thinking they were way too sweet to be involved here, and that adoption should be the way to go. You supposed that attitude shouldn’t surprise you, given the state of your family – your parents would have signed on the dotted line about 5 minutes ago. Still, you supposed you, in the remnants of a business suit, looked like the odd one out around the table – but that’s exactly what you were, and you were strangely comfortable with that. They were very sweet and shy, meaning you tried to make every question you asked kind and open – they didn’t have to answer if they didn’t want to. All you really wanted them to know was that you were decent; they were safe and you’d protect them at all costs. Besides, you reckoned Jay should know by now you were dating the most volatile man at the table. You’d like to say you knew that Andrew wouldn’t lay a hand on them – yet you also knew that he was capable of anything. You’d also like to say you were capable of stopping him, truth was, you were scared of what might happen if you got between Andrew Cody and something he deemed necessary to do. As you kept talking throughout dinner, and you tried to keep questions off yourself, you were aware of how close you were getting to Andrew. That was all subconscious because he’d barely moved an inch, but it was an act you loved doing. There was something very powerful about Andrew’s aura and you liked orbiting it; right now he was calmer – sure, his eyes still shifted around the room and to everyone in the table, yet everything about him was saying he was protecting you. Because even you were just waiting for Craig to come at you; he wasn’t exactly a fan of the fact that you didn’t come from the same place as them, that you came from a different class and social background. No prizes for guessing where he might have got that from. You got the feeling Smurf thought that you felt you were too good for them – not necessarily…. You’d seen the way she treated Andrew; the lost cause. The idea of wanting to get him out of this was something you thought about often. Though you also thought it was pointless when he was in your house doing drugs – but you would digress. In fact, you loved most people around the table. Really you felt a lot of them were better than the positions they found themselves in – if she really wanted your honest opinion. But you could only date one of them. And he was work, you’d give him that.

"What do you do, Y/N?" Eventually questioning did get back around to you, and you were trying to figure out how to answer before you were cut off. "Here we go..." Craig scoffed "What, jealous!? You can go it for me if you want!" Your eyes narrowed, arms folded He at least laughed; "No, No, I think I'm good - thanks!" You shook your head at him and turned back to Nicky's question, "I do IT." "Do IT?!" Baz repeated in a mocking voice "What? I do." He leant forward, "Nicky, she's just being polite and modest." "HA-!" Andrew shifted impatiently, which made Craig shut up again before he even started. Baz was allowed to finish his sentence; "She's a CIO." You leant on your hand with a small smile, "And CISO. If we're getting technical." "And that-!" Baz pointed to you, "Whatever the hell that is-!" Chief Information Security Officer, if he really wanted the answer. "That's why I said IT!" you laughed, “I head IT for a very small company, Nicky, it’s nothing.” “Enough to drive a Lamborghini.” This was exactly where things got complicated; where the divide showed, even though it didn’t matter to you. You were always uncomfortably aware of what it looked like to everyone else. “Will you guys stop!” You pushed Baz’s arm, but he was smirking and that only sent them all off laughing again. Causing you to hide in your hands for a second, shying towards Andrew – who despite still daring Craig to say another word with a frosty glare, had a hint of pride about him and the way he sat. Somewhere in the back of your mind you could almost hear the ‘That’s My Girl!’ that every other man around this table would likely say; his eyes flicked to yours, lips pressing themselves into a line that very nearly threatened smile. You were glad Andrew never got that far; not that it would have mattered anyway – because of course, you smiled back. Before you remembered why you were mad and your smiled faded for a moment. You lowered your eyes from Andrew’s face tracing them down his neck to his black buttoned polo shirt, then looked away from him entirely – realising you were just making yourself sad thinking about it. Still, he didn’t let you go; the slope of his body and the tip of his head as he watched the way your eyes traced him, he leant into you to keep you close – but he didn’t reach out. You didn’t expect that from him either. Andrew knew you were still mad at him; he could think about removing his arm from the back of your chair opting simply to pull you closer, but he wasn’t made that way. Andrew wouldn’t – at least not publicly and certainly not here. Right now, he wasn’t even sure you wanted that – or if you’d simply push him away. Nevertheless, he noticed how torn you were and hated that it was him that had caused it. What a mess for a quick fix. Wasted and pointless. He ran his hand over his cheeks – suddenly imagining the feeling of your nails embedded in them as you lowered your voice to a sexy level of threatening. Andrew shifted in his seat again, this time away from you, and kept his hand there for a moment – you couldn’t help but notice the way his breathing change abnormally. You also realised all that had triggered in you was a smirk, absentminded enough for you to be shocked at yourself – yet you knew exactly why, and hell if you wouldn’t call it useful information…

Dinner continued until you were stuffed and couldn’t eat anymore, pushing your knife and fork neatly together you sat back, nestling gently into his arm that was back around your chair. Finally comfortable enough to seek the warmth of his body. By now he was staring at you, and he had been for quite a while, because that’s what Andrew did. You’d long since given up trying to guess, or even ask him, why he would choose to stare at you in the particular way he did. It was never any less intense than the way he would look at everyone else… yet it was so different – and this stare was strangely hopeful. You supposed he was considering whether or not you’d forgive him – then again, so were you. Turning your eyes on him you couldn’t help but gaze back; lost in another beautifully silent conversation. I’m here for you. But don’t you dare think I forgive you for what you’ve done just yet. You knew he needed you here, and he must have known you knew that right now. You brushed your forehead gently to his, resting your hand reassuringly on his knee. It might take you a while to excuse him, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t love him. Everyone still pushed for dessert; at which point you swapped seats with Craig, bowing out – not without brushing your lips to Andrew’s cheek first, which very nearly startled him - to learn a little more about Jay and Nicky. Cath joined you a little later and with Jay joining in with his uncles, Smurf joined you in a girl’s conversation. It was nice to learn some more about her, and talk just a little about yourself without the whole table either wanting you to flaunt it, or scoffing at you for being a show off. You liked that you had the opportunity to chat with her in the quiet, which became quieter as Smurf and then Cath left you to it whilst they went back to the boys – clamouring for attention once more. Andrew was back to watching you, into his usual habit of making sure you were safe at all times and you were quite enjoying catching his eye every now and then. It’d make you smile and look away; a simpler form of flirting, but one you felt you probably both enjoyed. When he and Baz got up to pay the bill, Andrew walked behind you, brushing his hand over your shoulders. Fingertips pressing into your skin in a way that had you fixating on his touch and looking up at him as he walked away. You’d quite forgotten what you were saying and instead Nicky was left witness to that way you stared at each other, before he turned and they strolled to the counter – although you didn’t look away. Blinking a few times you cleared your throat; “Hey guys-!” They swivelled back, “Yeah?” You pulled your card from your purse and held it out, “I was late, it’s the least I can do.” Andrew waved away the suggestion, “No, Y/N, it’s okay…” “We got this – you can owe us later.” Baz added with a wink, and you figured he might spend the next five minutes trying to persuade Andrew onto a double date; which he would love of course.

Instead you watched them talk seriously at the counter for a minute as they split the bill; with the glances they both kept throwing to you, and the way Baz very nearly clipped him (about the only person who’d get away with it), you assumed that it was really an integration about the previous morning, causing you to look away quickly for fear of being dragged into it. Nicky giggled gently, and you realised she had continued watching you, “You really love him, don’t you?” You continued focusing on the table, although even her words had you smiling, and you very nearly laughed. “Yeah.” “How long have you been together?” That made your eyes raise to her - suddenly you realised you didn’t even know the answer. It wasn’t like Andrew was ever going to keep track of your anniversary – and to be honest being held up in a parking lot was not exactly something you wanted to remember the date of. “…Oh, uh…” You also couldn’t believe someone would want to ask you outside of your family; a lot of your friends thought Andrew was strange at best and would probably rather forget you were with him. You were grateful your parents foster kids more than made up for that. “…Just over a year?” you squinted, no, it felt longer than that - “Maybe closer to two?” then you smiled, genuinely, “Thank you for asking.” “I thought that was normal?” She tilted her head, making you laugh, “I don’t know if you’ve met him before today, but,” You looked around her to watch them still in heated discussion, “Andrew’s not exactly…” you paused, “He’s a little different. I think that’s probably why I like him so much. Then again, it’s not exactly something that gels with a lot of people,” you bit your lips together, “it’s a real shame - you know, if he was given the chance…” you trailed, “Sorry! That’s a lot for… the first time I’ve ever met you.” You place your head in your hands again, “Late and rambling, man, I must have made one hell of a first impression!” But she was smiling, and reached out to touch your hand, “I think it’s sweet – that you care about him like that, and I see the way you look at each other, he cares a lot about you too I can tell. He doesn’t take his eyes off you.” You weren’t sure if you should set her straight or agree with her; “That’s also a very Andrew trait, something to get used to for sure. I guess it’s okay if it doesn’t bother you…” “Does it?” God bless her innocent curiosity. “No. Except, nothing about Andrew bothers me.” “Should it?” Your eyes flicked back to him and then to her, and you said it as honestly as you could without really telling the truth; “He’s just… a lot to unpack.” ***

He stopped by your chair as they walked back, and everyone else started to rise, so you supposed dinner was over. As he’d helped you in, Andrew also helped you out. “You okay?” “Yes…” You gave him a gentle nod, “Thank you…” and you realised all at once that you really hadn’t had a verbal conversation yet. You wondered how you could just get back in your car and drive away after that. Andrew had to know you were still reeling a little – but it didn’t sit right with you, to just say goodbye and leave him to his own devices once again. Especially considering that could just drive him back in the direction you were trying to pull him from (or drag him – kicking and screaming if necessary). As you made your way from the restaurant - close but not touching; he wasn’t even trying to take your hand to keep up appearances (and sometimes Andrew did) – it was clear he was thinking along the same lines. Baz was the first one to turn to you, “How about it, Y/N? Drinks? I mean you can just park the car up and take off tomorrow if you’re worried about getting a DUI.” “Oh, no I really… I’ve had a day, you do not want me to take up any offer of drinking.” You waved your hands hoping he might drop it. “Aw come on – what!? You know how bad we get-!” No such luck. You indicated to the teens, “I would rather keep up appearances!” “It's cool, guys, I'll take her home." Andrew cut in before anyone else could protest your objection. You turned to him, wondering if a conversation in the place he’d done the crime was even a good idea. Maybe it was the only good idea. Of course, no one argued with that; "Okay, Andrew, see you later!" Although he waited for you to hug Nicky goodbye. You were good at bonding with people, and there weren't a lot of females in Andrew's life beyond his mother and Cath. So he knew you'd be particularly receptive to this teenage girl who had no idea quite what she was getting into. And that you'd likely want to protect her from that. Afterall, he’d watched you talk to her for at least the last hour, with that same sweet, caring smile on your face that you often gave him. Not that he thought he deserved it ever, perhaps even less than usual right now. And here you were again, being as naturally kind as you always were. "...It'd be cool to hang out too! I mean I dunno, maybe you're a little too cool for me!" You gave a gentle laugh that made her smile; "No, I'd like that!" "Awesome, well, you have my number now. Do not hesitate to call me. Especially if you happen to have to hang out with these boys again... In fact, Cath, you and I should have a girl’s night - Good Lord." "Don't tempt me!" Cath yelled from behind you, which made the three of you burst out laughing and all the boys look on a little confused. You hugged her tight and protective; she was so cute and utterly sweet. As the only other real outsider (and completely in the dark) you wanted to keep her on that side of things for as long as possible. It was your choice not to know anything, you didn't want her to have to know there even was a choice.

You waved them all off and walked with Andrew back towards the car park; he fell into the rhythm of your walk, studying every single other person on both sides of the road. He didn't hold your hand, but your skin was millimetres apart, his shoulder brushed against yours every few steps - as if to make sure you were still there; as if you'd be anywhere else. You were used to this by now, and if you were honest you loved it. There was something unvoiced about it all, how you were both aware the other was there and close, but there was no needed physical contact. Andrew was the most comfortable you'd ever been with a man in your entire life. And you weren't sure if that was ironic or not. "Are you driving?" "I don't have my car." You held out your keys, "Are you driving?" He took them gently, suddenly falling out of step with you, and then behind as he stopped. You paused a little further down the sidewalk and turned with a raised eyebrow; "What-?" He held the keys up, "You drove your Lamborghini to work!? AGAIN!?" This only went back to every other time he’d told you to be careful driving it around, should some opportunists try to car jack you… again. You folded your arms, somewhat impatient with his lack of answer; "Oh, I didn't realise I had to stop on the weekend too - now are you driving or what-!?" You knew he could stop the excited smile from crossing his face, but it escaped into his voice; "Yes!"

** Even though you still hadn’t spoken to him properly, it was all in his body language. For him it was the same, all in your actions. You didn’t have to let him do this – in fact you could just have turned to him and said that he wasn’t coming with you. Yet here he was, driving your gleaming silver Gallardo through Melbourne to your apartment. You noticed Andrew was making the most out of the opportunity by taking you the scenic route. All you could do was watch him. How comfortable he was – just you and him and driving. How careful and in control – a real force to be reckoned with, not that Andrew ever wasn’t that, but the whole aura of it was different. This time he couldn’t keep that small smile off his face – tiny sure, and if you weren’t looking you were bound to miss it, but it was there. You liked that he was comfortable, because you often watched him be so uncomfortable with everything. The social situations he was forced into especially; for that matter, Andrew didn’t often talk in social settings. He could still be the one in the room in control and be uncomfortable, his body language would tell you such. Here and now though, his energy was confident – and though he was alert to the conditions he was surrounded by on the road, Andrew was the most relaxed you’d seen him in a long time. You let yourself actively enjoy it. Because you wanted to revel in him when he was like this. It was a glimpse, a rare thing that you weren’t about to let slip away from you. You knew how much he loved this car, even when he was sitting passenger side, and when he actively showed it that was even better. Andrew was letting himself enjoy the moment as much as you were; just by watching him you’d been persuaded to smile, to coax your hand from your lap to entwine with his fingers. He didn’t look across to you – but his lips twitched and for half a second that smile was visible, before it dropped away again. Still, Andrew Cody didn’t let your hand go. ** You were back to being cold and silent by the time you were in the lift to your apartment; perhaps not by choice, but because you just couldn’t figure out exactly what to say. You weren’t sure how to approach it, and certainly hadn’t had time to think of such things. After all, you did kick him out of your apartment yesterday after screaming then using Andrew’s own ‘quiet & threatening’ tactic against him. You just knew that you couldn’t keep up the silence; part of you worried that if you did Andrew would switch from understanding why (as you were sure he did) to thinking screw this and heading back home – where all that really awaited him was his brothers, alcohol and more drugs. Certainly not what you wanted. He was looking at you again though, and Andrew thought that maybe the air of friendliness you’d been displaying this evening had been for his family only. Just for dinner. He supposed it made sense, but Baz had told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to apologise to you, quickly. Andrew was just trying to figure out how best to do that – of course he’d been thinking about it, but you’d been regarding them both and he didn’t want it to come out like the only reason that he was saying sorry was because Baz had asked him to. No, he wanted it to sound as sincere and genuine as he felt. Usually silence was good for Andrew, he found a comfort there that he could seldom find anywhere else. Even around you. This wasn’t comfortable – not when there was so much unspoken between the two of you. You would often communicate without using words – but that wouldn’t even save you both now. He let you have it, 5 minutes of total silence, how you stood with your hands down on your kitchen counter staring at nothing. You could tell exactly what he was thinking, considering he was pacing up and down the room, and wouldn’t take his eyes off you. Until eventually Andrew sighed, making you raise your eyes to him; “Why… Why even bother turning up? Why would you want to be there today? With me. Why are you even okay with me?” He looked away from you, squinting in thought, “I understand the reasons you hate me right now. Which makes me not understand why you would…” He trailed, finding it hard to describe how he could know you weren’t happy – but you could still look at him like he was your world… Was there even a way to describe that? “Oh. Andrew…” You almost sounded desperate, but exasperated, your face softening and for a moment your heart bled for him – because he always felt like everything had to be understandable and logical; it was just how his brain processed. Just once sometimes you wished he would realise that your feelings for him really weren’t logical at all. You could never really hate him. “Look. I love you. And that’s never going to change, it’s just sometimes you make me SO mad!” You ran your hands through your hair with a small exhale, settling your eyes back on his infinite stare; “Because I see the good in you Andrew. And I want more people to see that. YOU might think he’s gone, and your family clearly do, but not me. I KNOW it’s there. I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t see it. But you do things like this, and I just…” You gave a gentle shrug, unable to even explain it for yourself; “If I don’t believe in you, who will? It hurts me when you hurt yourself. And I feel sorry for you and… that is that.” His stare was measured, and his blink slow. You knew he wouldn’t say anything, Andrew just wasn’t built that way. But you wanted him to, right then more than any other moment you wanted words to spill from his lips. Andrew’s blue eyes left yours and he looked to the floor - that was a lot, all at once it was a lot for you to just say to him. It would be a lot to not respond to; then again, he wasn’t sure what he could say. He wasn’t good at expressing his feelings for you, Andrew never had been, but he knew he felt something – things he’d never felt for any other person, not even his own family. They were just so hard to say with conviction that sounded like he really believed them. You stepped from the counter and walked across the room to him, although he took several paces back, shying away from your touch. You wouldn’t take that as an answer, because you needed him right now – he needed you too. You took Andrew’s hand in yours; allowing him to maintain the gap but letting him know you weren’t about to let go. He shook his head slowly, still not meeting your eyes, and his next sentence was murmured – a thought to himself that maybe he hadn’t meant to say aloud; “I don’t deserve you. But you’re the only thing I’ve got right so far…” You tipped your head, unsure where exactly that had come from; “Andrew, I-” “I shouldn’t have done it. I know that.” Sorry. He was saying sorry, in a typically Andrew way of saying it. It’d take time for the actual word to come – or else maybe he’d simply show you. You framed his face with your free hand, tilting his head back up so those haunting eyes could meet yours once more. “…What…?” Andrew’s lips parted, no words came, before he swallowed and placed his hand over yours. For a moment you thought he might pull away once more, but he didn’t. His eyes simply searched yours for any way he might get away with never saying something so honest again. “I know you heard me.” You didn’t quite roll your eyes; instead pulling yourself to him, forehead against his – gently humming your agreement. I Did. You closed your eyes to the silence and lost yourself to the sound of his breathing. You knew exactly who this man was, and everything he was capable of – no matter how much you tried to burry that beneath your love for him, and no matter how hard you tried to save him from it. But, more importantly, Andrew Cody was yours - and you weren’t about to ever let him forget it.

---

Thank you for reading-!😍

@happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad

#Andrew Cody #Animal Kingdom #Ben Mendelsohn #Andrew Pope Cody #Pope Cody #Andrew Cody x Reader #Pope Cody x Reader #Andrew Pope Cody x Reader #Heres another really good song that I like for him!!!#The only two Marshmello songs I know are now Andrews!#Once again I think I've screwed up here...#But oh well. Here we are #I really tried this time but theres one or TWO places where I'm like /Shawn?/ Ben - your Shawn is showing #I've never been more frustrated with an edit #there were so many /and/s and /but/s in this damn thing I just wanted to scream #I hope it reads a lot better now #But it's kinda a far cry from Young God.#I wonder if Amanda is going to read one of my sentences and call it black t-shirt erasure ;)#140 #Elaiyna #OKay so he actually got out Before Ned did - which is totally on me.... Sorry writer Boi... You need better luck!#I thought Andrew was going to have to hold up the drafts at the bottom but he gets away with it-!#Happy Year-Since-That-Fateful-Comment Day!#(Part 3!)

37 notes · View notes

ellaenchanting · 4 years

Text

Hypnovember Day 6: Summon

When the sexy flirting in this story is awkward, the author encourages you to mentally replace it with your own ideas for sexy flirting, then later misremember that you did that and give the author credit for all your great ideas. Also- tired brain is probably affecting my editing again, so please feel free to message me if there’s something I need to fix. Thanks!

The brunette across the bar had been watching Bex drink her beer in a singularly focused way for the past several minutes. Bex wasn’t used to being checked out so blatantly. It was a nice change of pace. She looked over and matched the woman’s appraising gaze.

She smiled back. May, Bex thought. Tara had been talking about her last week. May wriggled her pinky at Bex in a “come here” motion.

Hell, Bex’d bite. She adjusted her tie as she walked over. May was becoming known as a bit of a womanizer, but then again so was Bex. She had secretly wondered when they would get around to each other. Bex loved having someone new to impress. She sauntered over.

“I’ve been summoned?” she asked with a smile.

“I wanted to see if I could make you come with just my little finger,” smirked May. Then she gave Bex a big saucy wink.

Bex was stunned for a second.

Then they both broke out into giggles.

“WHAT?!” said Bex, guffawed. “Is that how you do it? This can’t be how you’ve seduced every girl in the the city in, like, 6 weeks. I need to learn more puns.”

“Your face!” laughed May. “You’re so appalled!” They grinned at each other. “And, by the way, from what I hear you are in no place to slut shame me.”

“That isn’t shame, that’s respect”, said Bex. “If I were a beautiful woman, I would just wait around for girls to buy me drinks to get my attention.”

“You’re pretty cute yourself. Should I buy you a drink to get your attention instead?”

“I mean, I won’t stop you. I don’t know if anyone’s ever bought me a drink before.”

“They were missing out then. I’ll do it if I can touch your hair! I like the feel of a buzz cut.”

“Deal. Just some Jack Daniels please.”

May called over the bartender and ordered

“Anyways, hi I’m May. It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand to shake. “Is this a better introduction?”

“Much” said Bex, shaking her hand. “Although I still can’t let anyone know that you made the first move. It’ll ruin my butch street cred.”

May scoffed, “Number one, there is no butch street cred. And number two- if there was such a thing, you and I both know that being seduced by a beautiful woman would only increase it.” She ran her nails gently through Bex’s hair. “I love how that feels.”

Bex felt herself blush just a little. “You know, i didn’t expect cheesy puns and petting from you. I thought you’d get out a pocket watch, maybe your eyes would get spirally. Soon I’d find myself naked in your house doing your laundry. Isn’t that more your style?”

“I do my own laundry,” May purred. “But I could use some help with the dishes.” She smiled. “I didn’t know my reputation had preceded me so much.“

“Your reputation is VERY good, I promise you” said Bex. She turned her head slightly. “I had actually been wondering when you might put me under your spell”.

May quirked her eyebrow."Is that what you want?" asked May. She leaned in a bit.

“I mean, I’m curious” admitted Bex. “I hadn't really thought about it before but I talked to my friend Tara..”

“Ah, you’re Tara’s friend. She’s very sweet.”

“....and, y’know, I’m always interested in trying new things.”

"Do you know anything about hypnosis?"

"Well, I did some reading after I talked to Tara. Been to some websites, watched some videos." She looked May directly in the eyes, waiting for her next move.

May met her gaze with the same confidence. "So you're curious then?" She leaned in like she was telling Bex a secret. "Want to try it?"

Bex smiled. "Impress me”.

May leaned back out a bit, pleased. "May I grab that arm there?" she asked. Without waiting for the response, she took it. "Thanks". She started moving Bex’s arm back and forth in a gentle swinging motion.

"You know, I said before that my pinkie was magic but I lied. It’s actually this finger right here." May extended her pointer finger to Bex and started slowly moving it in unpredictable patterns about a foot from her face. "So I want you to watch that magic finger, and as you watch that finger and focus on what I'm saying, you may notice that your vision starts changing, just responding as the finger gets closer" (she brought the finger close to Bex's face) "and farther away" (as she brought it further back).

Bex found herself mesmerized by the tip of May’s red nail as she spoke more quickly. "And you can notice the changes in that focus and the changes in your focus and you may feel some fatigue or tiredness in your eyes and that's ok because this finger is my hypnotic finger as well. So it makes sense that watching it can just cause your vision to blur, can cause your eyes to want to blink, can make you aware of that fatigue and that tired feeling that you may feel at the corners of your eyes as those blinks grow heavier and longer and relax even more and you know you won't let go all the way into a trance until my finger touches your forehead." May's tone became deeper as she started to slow down "Even if, as it get closer, you get sleepier and sleepier, sleepier and relaxed, relaxed and focused, focused right here and....SLEEP".

In one quick, smooth motion, Bex felt the finger gently touch her head as the pull on her arm made her body slump forward. May’s voice was in her ears telling her to go deeper and deeper....

A Little While Later

"3, 2, 1! Awake and alert! How do you feel?"

Bex sat up. “Uhm....good! Did you hypnotize me?”

May looked entirely pleased with herself. “Yes! What do you remember?”

“Well...you were talking to me and you held up a finger..” she started.

“This finger?” May held it up innocently.

Bex felt her gaze drawn. “Yeah that one. You started moving it around and around...”

“Like this?” May started moving it in patterns again.

Bex felt a bit dizzy. “Uh huh”

“Do you remember that it’s a magic finger?” May moved the finger closer.

Bex felt everything slow. “How’s it...”

But the words and the thoughts stopped again the second May touched her forehead.

A Little While Later

May’s finger was magic.

May’s bedroom was warm and smelled amazing. May had given Bex a suggestion where she would touch part of her naked body with her magic finger and Bex would instantly feel all of her attention drawn to it. Bex was normally focused in bed, but she had never felt like this before. May touched her lips and Bex wanted to make out with her for hours. When May had touched the side of her stomach, Bex spent ages experimenting with what kisses and nibbles and bites could get the best reactions.May had even touched the back of her knee and it had become Bex’s world for a few minutes.

Now finally May was touching her pussy. Bex leaned in and let the entrancement take her. She couldn’t wait to get absorbed in the smell and the taste and the feel of May. She dove in, completely experiencing one of her favorite things.

A Little While Later

May’s finger was magic.

May’s voice was talking somewhere in the distance saying beautiful filthy hot things but Bex couldn’t think about that. She could only think about how May’s finger was magic and how good it felt. It felt so amazing moving in and out of her, fucking her at a perfect tempo. The movement caused May’s knuckles to brush against Bex’s labia with every motion and that teasing felt just perfect too. It shouldn’t have been enough, not nearly enough, but May’s finger was magic and right now it was everything Bex needed. She couldn’t wait until it made her cum.

#hypnovember #I'm not the best at sexy you guys #I do have a thing for hands though #and fingers #dark sapphic magic #butch/femme #femme dom

68 notes · View notes

rosepetals-flyingbirds · 5 years

Text

Moving on. (3/3)

Pairing: Kylo x Reader, Poe x Reader.

Word Count: 2k.

Warnings: An abusive relationship so if its a trigger for you consider not reading, angst and maybe some tears.

Prior Chapter.

Luke and Kylo just arrived at the airport after a trip to Japan. “Tomorrow your mother will make the annual charity party. You better go.”

Every year Leia made a party on her job to raise funds for charity. And every year Kylo dismiss it. “Luke, I don’t have the time for this.”

“Oh but you will make. Your mother misses you and you will show up.” He pointed and Kylo scoffed.

When he was with you at least he saw his parents, but after the break up he never “found” time to see them.

Whether was to visit their house or to meet up for lunch.

Luke left Kylo on his building and remembered about the event. Kylo said he would think about it.

The next day he saw the invitation on his table and thought about it, the funds would go to an animal's shelters all over the world, he smiled seeing so, you gave Leia that idea a few years back, of how animals needed a lot of assistance too.

Deciding to go he got ready and took deep breaths, he could go, stay for an hour, donate some money, hug his parents and leave.

There he saw the faces he grew up seeing, Leia’s and Han’s coworkers, Leia liked to invite people over for dinners, and Han used to take him to work when he was a child, it was good times.

Luke was there and waved at Kylo when he saw his nephew, a proud smile on his face, after all he did tell Leia he would convince her son to go there.

Leia reached her son quickly enveloping him on her arms. “Hey baby.” She said and almost squeezed the air our of Kylo, the man having to bend slightly to manage to be held. “Finally you sucked up and appeared! It hurts okay, you are my only son and you ignore me? Terrible. Let me call your father. Han!”

Leia talked non stop and Kylo was regretting his decision already. His mom started to yell Han's name that was on the other side of the room.

After some drinks and annoying conversations people tried to make, Kylo walked to the second floor and headed to the balcony when he saw a woman with (y/h/c), his eyes didn’t overlook to check the shape of the woman’s body.

He was about to leave when he heard a sniff, she was crying. Normally he wouldn’t care, but maybe was time to move on. You surely did.

Finishing his glass of champagne he walked near the balcony, the last time he actually put effort into flirting was probably with you years back, the women he had been seeing in the last year was all too eager to be with one of the richest young man of the city, damn, of the state, that they would be gladly throwing themselves at him before he could must a 'hi'. “I don’t like those parties either, but I guess the animals deserve some help.”

The eyes he met was clearly not the ones he wanted to see, at least not in that way.

Y/N.

Leia was throwing her annual party and Poe being important on his job and being close to Leia received an invitation like you did.

You wanted to see Leia, to see Luke, Han and even Uncle Chewbacca -damn how you wanted to know his real name- but the idea of seeing Kylo wasn’t much appealing.

Poe said it was important to him for you to be there, and since it was your idea of theme it only made sense. You didn't tell Poe that you didn't want to go because you were afraid of seeing Kylo, you tried to not mention him around, you were with Poe anyways.

But he was smart and knew you were worried about that. He held your hands and caressed the back of them. "Listen, I know you are worried that he'll be there, but Leia herself said he hated those things, that the only times he joined was when you were with him, so I'm pretty sure he won't be there." You smiled at him, smiled at how understandable he was, how he wasn't rolling his eyes because his girlfriend was afraid of seeing her ex.

So you kissed him and agreed to go, yet you were worried because even without Kylo there seeing his family would definitely hit you with nostalgia.

But it was important to Poe, and besides... Kylo never went on those anyways.

There you felt happy seeing them, but seeing Han and Leia made you remember how much you loved to go to their house with Kylo.

Poe didn’t left you alone, he was scared you would feel forgotten even though Leia was always grouping you on her conversations with the guests, even if the theme of donations were animals, people spoke about politics or world's problems, Poe was nervous you were bored but you assured him he could go talk with his TIE fighters coworkers.

After some minutes talking with Luke you excused yourself saying you needed to go to the restroom, he asked if you were okay, truly worried, you smiled at him and mentioned that you just needed to walk a bit, that you were a bit bored, he laughed and allowed you to, but the truth is that they were making you remember too much.

Which made you go upstairs and step into the spacious balcony filled with flowers, the night was amazing and you gazed at the stars drinking your champagne, tears were falling freely even if you wanted to cease them, it was fruitless.

Then out of nowhere a voice behind you made goosebumps erupt on your body.

You cleaned your eyes and gazed back looking at Kylo, all pretty wearing your favorite suit.

Normal POV.

“Hey.” You answered drying the tears with the back of your hand, trying to fix what was probably a ruined make up by now.

More than a year had passed since you last saw him, since you two broke up for good. Which were 2 weeks after you were sure he had sex with the Emily girl, the day where you called him to tell it was over. You wanted to meet up but he was too out of it, it wouldn't end well, and break up through messages wasn't the best.

You could talk with him without running away, in thesis, it was just hard when he was actually right there.

“Hey,” Kylo answered and a small frown formed, Leia loved you like a daughter and always invited you for everything, so the idea of you being there because of her made total sense.

But Kylo was smart and knows that you were probably accompanying Poe. “Are you okay?”

Placing the empty glass at the railing of the balcony you nodded. “Yeah, it's the champagne, I think I drank it too fast.”

Chuckling Kylo smiled. “You know you can’t lie to me.”

You smiled at his words, it was the truth, he could see straight through you. But you couldn’t tell him that you were crying because you loved his family and lowkey missed him.

Not really.

Looking at the nude dress he smiled. “You look great in that dress.”

Looking down and passing your hands on the material you chuckled. “Oh, thanks. I was worried it would be too simple."

“You always managed to make simple look gorgeous.” He stated and you blushed slightly, Kylo bit his tongue, it wasn’t something flirtive, he just spoke the truth but it was still weird.

You felt his nervousness so you tried to help him out. "You know is rare for me to use dresses but it's an event and I couldn't come in jeans and a sweater. Gladly Rey helped me out and I ended up buying this."

How long he hadn't thought about your old friends. "How is her and Finn?" Kylo let a small chuckle he really didn't care, he just wanted to keep the conversation going, God, how he misses you. And maybe your "Couple 20" friends weren't together anymore... Rey was too tense for Finn, and since the girl adored to meddle in yours relationship maybe karma bit her in the ass. "They're okay, they married actually."

"What?!"

"Yeah, Finn proposed, Luke went in the ceremony."

Kylo scoffed. "Of course he did."

Trying to get rid of the weird silence you looked him again, his intense stare looking at you. “I thought you wouldn’t come."

“Yeah, well I got back from Japan yesterday and Luke almost threaten me.” You laughed at that. “And my mom keeps calling me nonstop saying I misremember that I have parents and when the day comes when she and Han dies I will regret and... well all the Leia Organa's drama you know very well about.” He laughed. “And it’s a good cause, so...”

“Yeah, a great one, I’m glad she listened to me.”

“You came with Poe, right?”

Letting a sigh you tried to get prepared for the yells that would come. “Listen I know it’s your mother’s party but he works in-”

“I know, it’s okay.” He calmly answered and you got surprised.

Placing his hands on his pants pockets he looked ahead in the dark night and back at you, with that intense stare he always had. “I’m glad you came, I’m sure my parents and Luke, even Chewie are happy to have you here.” You smiled at that, it was a good thing that he wasn’t mad. “And I’m glad too.”

“Me too.” Answering with a smile you nodded and bite your lip slightly. “Japan uh?!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rubbing his neck out of a nervous habit you that you knew too well, he stepped closer to you. “Uh, it’s great, has another level of technology and yet has all the culture, and the food though, you would have loved it.” He had a small smile but his face fall. ’I’m making a fool of myself. This is your ex, Kylo.’ His conscience screamed at him.

The idea of Kylo wishing your company, even after all the time was good to know. But you couldn’t dig the old feelings and let Poe down. You love Poe, differently than Kylo, but you do love him.

“Luke liked it?” Trying to change the subject Kylo nodded relieved.

“Yeah he did, he was worried at first, we have been taking Japanese classes, I mean what is the point in opening a branch if you can’t speak with your employees?"

“A branch?”

“Yeah… It’s a great opportunity, Lando moved to Dubai to the other Skywalker’s firm branch. And Luke is wondering in moving to Japan. To keep an eye close to everything.”

“Luke in Japan?” You wondered about the vision, visiting: surely; living: not really. “Wow, I can’t see that happening.”

“Well, but someone will have to, keep an eye close, after all the company it’s our life.” He meant the job and you better than anyone knew it.

“Yeah…” Looking back at the stars you felt the eyes on you. “Well I honestly hope it will work, and if Luke moves there… that he will find happiness.” Your words were honest and suddenly you were feeling hot, he was too close, so you took a few steps back which he of course realized.

Kylo propped his elbows in the railing and looked somewhere else, it was hard for him too.

He glanced at you and you were fidgeting with one of your rings, he saw bandage in one of your fingers. “What happened?” Unconsciously he reached your hand and held in his.

You felt a shiver run up on your belly, you looked at the small bandage and tried to focus. “It’s uh… Uh, I was helping a dog when he bit me.”

“What? I thought dogs would never bite you.” He was very shocked, animals seem to love you.

Giggling at that you shook your head. “I know! Shocking right?! The poor thing was too scared and then… then he bit me, I got some alcohol there so no worries.”

“Good.” Kylo started to lift your hand out of an old habit of kissing it when he stopped in the middle of the process and closed his eyes slightly tilting his head to the side. “This is weird.”

Opening one of his eyes and looking at you like a kid who just broke a toy you laughed, it was like when you two started to hang out, the powerful yet insecure Kylo Ren.

He quickly raised your finger and kissed above the material. You should let go of his hand, but it was like a travel back at the time. You had so many questions, so many wonders, so many-.

“Princesa?” Poe’s nickname for you took you out of your trance. He stepped in the balcony giving Kylo a small polite nod. “Hmm, Leia will start the auction…” Lowering his eyes he saw Kylo’s hand grasping yours.

You retrieved your hand and smiled at him. “Okay. Then let’s go.” You grabbed the empty glass of champagne out of the railing and walked to Poe's reach.

He smiled and placed his hand on the small of your back walking back to the saloon, looking back at your shoulder you waved at the man you used to love too much. “Bye Kylo.”

Taking a breath he gave you a small smile. “Bye Y/N.”

...

Getting at your apartment Poe helped you unzip your long dress. He didn’t seem hurt nor jealous, he was quiet but didn’t show any sadness, didn’t treat you differently.

Feeling his hands working on your dress zipper and his digits trailing down making shivers erupt on your skin you created the courage to bring the subject up. “Poe?”

“Mmm?” He hummed and took his jacket off.

“I’m sorry for earlier, I didn’t know he was there and when he appeared I guess it wouldn’t be polite to ignore.” Saying he heard you with a soft smile, where that man came from? “It was good to see again, it was different, he wasn’t mad."

Placing a small lock of hair behind your ear he nodded. “I’m glad you had the opportunity to talk with him again, I was worried he would make a scene… but I’m glad it was all okay.” His hands cupped your face and caressed your cheeks.

“It was good to see him,” You said getting out of your clothes when you stopped and imagined how annoying it would be to Poe. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk about him.”

“Hey,” He cleaned your cheek. “Kylo was your first love, and I intend to be your last.”

Giving his pillowly lips small pecks you smiled. “Honestly? Where you came from?”

Laughing he brought your body close and the kisses deepened.

6 Months Later.

Kylo.

With the passing of the days, the new sector of Skywalker Enterprises was near to happen, the idea of moving to the country was solemnly to keep an eye on it.

Lando had moved to Dubai and Gibbs to Italia. So a new place in Japan has the need of someone new, Luke was eager to go but he also didn’t want to get so far from his dear sister and brother-in-law, when he offered the choice to Kylo he quickly said he wouldn’t which had led to a small discussion.

Even though Kylo was quieter he still missed you profoundly and hoped you would come back. After a talk with his mother, he saw how explanatory she looked at him when he spoke about you and he knew you wouldn’t go back to him. That unfortunately, Poe wasn't a phase.

He accepted the offer and moved to Japan, it was a slow accommodation process, the language was difficult to learn and the way of life was even more. But after a few months he started to love the place, Kylo discovered new places and even started to meditate.

The firm’s affiliate grew well and for the first time, he realized he didn’t have to work so hard as he used to.

He tried not to, but it was harsh not to wonder how would be if you were there with him. How could be live in such a colorful and beautiful place with you, waking up to you and coming home to you. If he was at least less stupid back then you would be there with him.

One weekend he had to make a quick travel to Italia to sign some papers, there he walked around the area -something his meditation hours taught him to- before Kylo would travel, fix the issue, and go back home.

Now, however, he tried to enjoy the places, enjoy the opportunity he had to meet places so varied from another. He was walking around when he saw the small café he brought years prior.

You were so happy wearing your beret, white shirt and black skirt, feeling so happy to meet the place. When you saw the cute place you didn’t lost time before entering, Kylo as the grumpy cat he is asked if you two couldn’t go back to the hotel already, you looked at him with a serious face and he said ‘fine.’

Asking for two coffees and some delicious muffins you two had a lovely time there, Kylo couldn’t stop gazing at you, why someone would be so joyful because they were inside a small store somewhere else? It surely had bakeries and coffee shops like that back home. But when he got lost in the shine in your eyes he quickly let go of his tiredness and agreed to walk a few more blocks.

Getting out of his memory he opened the door and asked for a coffee and the same muffin you said it was your favorite. The waiter gave it to him and Kylo was about to leave when he saw the small two-sits table you two used years ago.

Groaning slight -he knew he would regret it- he sat at the small table and looked outside the window seeing some citizen walking, he sipped his coffee and gladly it was even better than he remembered.

And there he found a sweet quietness around, maybe it was moving to Japan, maybe it was the lack of stress he endured daily with all the self-pressure he imposed on himself, or maybe the fact that he saw you moving on to a better man… something changed him.

A few time back he would feel stupid to be sat alone eating, something a loser would do, but now he found a good feeling about it, of course, he wished your beautiful face with your beautiful body was in front of him, wearing that weird beret that was the first thing you bought when you landed in the city.

Smiling remembering how happy you were he nodded even automatically, he was grateful for the time he had with you.

Your birthday was approaching and he wondered about a gift, it wouldn’t be weird to deliver you something, right?

Mi scusi, posso ottenerne altri due per favore? / Excuse me, can I get another two of these please?

Back in the hotel he placed the muffins above the small table and decided he would buy the simplest thing to give to you, not something he would send someone to buy or that he would call and receive, he would use his trip to gather a perfect amount of gifts to make you smile, after all he just wanted that, to see you happy.

Y/N.

“Pooee, I don’t want to.” Covering your face with your pillow you tried to ignore the man above you.

“No no no, we will celebrate! It’s your life, baby! So I’m giving you the shot to choose between the dinner or a small party. Because I’m a great boyfriend.” He said excitedly while you tried to dodge the subject, it was your birthday and you didn’t want much, you wanted nothing to be honest.

Some calm night watching tv with the best pizza in the town was okay by you.

Frustratedly taking the soft pillow out of your face you stared at your boyfriend and how cute his hair looked at the morning. “Listen, I have work today, and you have too! So let’s keep our day normal and then, later on, we can rent a movie.” Poe’s reaction was silence and a guilty face. “What? What have you done Mr. Dameron?”

“You don’t have work today, and me neither.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Leia knows it’s your birthday so she gave me the day off, and I called your boss and since you are her favorite employee she gave you the day off too.”

“You thought about everything didn’t you?”

Smirking he nodded and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Maybe so.”

“Alright alright, what do you want to do?”

“Want to my beautiful girlfriend to tell me what she wants, but since she is too stubborn I’ll have to choose, apparently."

“Don’t talk about me in the third person, and… okay you won, how about since you have a day off we spent more two hours laid here and then we call Finn, Rey, Rose and Phasma for a lunch?” The weather was perfect to relax in bed, and since you didn’t have to get ready to work the thought of relaxing felt appealing.

“Finn and Phasma at the same place at the same hour? Do you think it’s safe?”

Laughing at his response you remembered the last time Phasma have seen Finn. Everyone was gathered around her pub watching an important football game, Phasma loved it and you two were talking when Finn asked if he could grab a beer, she said he could and he entered inside the staff’s part but when a goal was made and everyone yelled "Goaaal" he jumped hitting his knee at the counter so strongly that the shelves above trembled and broke a few of expensive alcohols bottles. “I think Finn will be able to defend himself.”

“Don’t give him too much credit.”

Laughing at the thought you smiled even more, and the fact that the man was laughing so near your skin making tickles didn’t help much. “I would never!”

Moving his head to see your beautiful face Poe’s eyes gazed at your features softly, the man loved you.

As you asked you had your lunch with your friends, Rose told about how happy she was since her sister Paige got engaged with the love of her life and Rose was the bride maid and was enjoying preparing the ceremony. Finn was sat beside Rey and every time he would move he made sure to have someone between him and Phasma, the tall woman could easily kill him for all the cost he caused due to his ungainliness.

Rey was happy seeing you happy, she loved you dearly and the fact that you were spending your birthday with her rather than with Kylo who used to steal all your attention was nice.

…

After the sweet lunch, you and Poe walked around the city holding hands and stopping to pet every dog.

You two also went to the animal's shelter that you’d volunteered to help, seeing the joyful faces of those rescued souls was sweetening for your heart, Poe loved animals too and every time he saw how well you dealt with kids and animals made him wonder when he will have the courage to propose.

The ring inside his locker in the hangar was probably becoming filled with dust.

Poe excused himself for a moment, you nodded and paid attention to the old dog laid on your lap. Poe had prepared a small party for you, he hopes you won’t get mad. He understands your wish for a quiet evening but it was your birthday, after all, you had to celebrate the date.

Texting Finn, he made sure his friends would properly set the place, it would be in Rey’s apartment, nothing too big. Just a few friends and your favorite food and music in the background, Poe had a few more hours left so he had to make his plan work, he thought in doing in your apartment but if you wanted to go home earlier it would mess the surprise, being in Rey’s/Finn’s he could casually say he forgot something with his friend and walk there.

The following hours you two saw a movie in the theaters and when you were walking home happy after your sweet birthday Poe’s phone rang, it was Rey asking if you two could go there because she made a new recipe and wanted you to try since Finn would always say her food was ’so good’ and she couldn’t fully trust him.

Laughing you agreed and a few minutes later you were in Rey’s building. You were on the phone with Leia and Han when Poe knocked on the door and you heard the music stopping. Hanging up the call and loving the fact that Leia and Han still cared about you, you looked at Poe wondering what was that about.

The man just shrugged and knocked again, placing your phone in your pocket you heard a click and Finn opened the door yelling ’SURPRISE’ and you looked at the place seeing some dear people around.

“Oh my God!” Excitedly you looked at your friends who had huge smiles adorning their faces. “I didn’t even think about that.”

Phasma came to give you a hug and you were blushing at the shock, it was so friendly. People around came to talk to you and you saw Luke there. “Y/N!” He smiled and gave you a tight hug. “Happy birthday dear, I know my nephew was too dumb to let you escape but I couldn’t miss the chance to give you a hug on your day.”

“Thank you, Luke. Is so good to see you! Truly.” Adding the old man smiled and nodded.

“Leia wanted to come but she said something about being a ‘young party’ something completely odd since she isn’t that old;”

“Of course, and the fact that you have the same age as her doesn’t make you wonder about her youth a little.” Teasing him he placed his hand over his heart faking offensiveness.

“Of course not.” He replied seriously and after one second you two started to laugh. “I have to go, I know my boundaries over here.” He looked at the young people gathered around.

Grabbing his hands you squeezed them on yours. “Please stay a little. It has been like 2 months that we last saw each other.”

“Then we can program lunch! But now on I want you to enjoy your day.” He kissed the top of your hands and excused himself. “Take care of her, boy.” He said to Poe and left the place.

Poe placed his arm over your shoulder. “I like him.”

Nodding you looked up at him. “Me too! He is awesome.” Poe kissed your forehead and you saw Finn bringing a few fancy snacks. “Oh by the way, what happened to ’whatever my girlfriend wants?’”

Raising his hand to scratch the back of his neck Poe gave you an apologetic look. “Sorry, but I and Rey have been planning this and well, here we are.”

“Yeah, I’m glad.” Kissing him you felt a buzzing joyful feeling inside you, your friends around that made sure that you would have a nice day.

…

Reaching your apartment the doorman told you a package as arrived for you, you glanced at Poe who shrugged and said it wasn’t from him.

You held the huge box and thanked the doorman before going up.

While Poe showered you opened the big box and saw a few items with a letter above. Opening the letter you saw Kylo’s handwriting, your breath hitched for a second.

I have written six other letters and I’ll make sure that one will work, in such a technological era is weird writing one.

Happy birthday! Hopefully you are happy and you are at the stage of your life you always wanted. I don’t want that message to become something for apologies, so I’ll just say it once: I’m sorry.

I hope you know all the things I’m sorry for, if I wrote a list of the wrong manners I started to treat you it would be long and I don’t want to upset you. I just wrote this to wish you all the happiness and say thank you. I thank you for loving me and for the great time we had, you clearly are the love of my life and I hope in another life we’ll get the chance to be together again, because in that one I know I lost you for someone better. You know my temper but I can honestly say that I’m happy that you and him are together, he was always so polite and nice, I can only picture him as the Prince Charming you so deserve. My parents and Luke miss you dearly too, but I know they keep in touch. I’m living in Japan and it’s everything so different, I’m calmer and… happier? At first, I was pissed but I think it was one of the best decisions of my life. It’s funny because I remember when you tried to make a man bun or ‘samurai hair’ as you said since my hair is long and you always teased the small size of my eyes.

At first it was just a job, just another step to make the firm stronger and prosper, but everything seems so bright now, living in the grey city didn’t even compare to living here. It feels weird telling you this, but after all you’re an old friend, my old best friend and I’ll always carry you in my heart.

That box you are seeing has a few things I thought you would like, if I sent you a car I know you would complain and send to Luke so I wanted to give you something meaningful.

Happy birthday, I wish you all the best. Thank you for loving me. I still and will always love you.

Always and truly yours, Kylo.

Finishing the letter you smiled, it was good to hear from him again.

Placing the letter in your chest you took deep breaths before placing it aside in your bed.

You looked over the items, it had so many things. But what was the best that it wasn't expensive futile things... he meant well with all of them.

You saw a small package and when you opened it you saw a bar of Belgian chocolate that is by far the world’s greatest creation, two muffins from Italia, a beret which made you smile.

An old disc from your favorite band, a small box with a beautiful necklace inside, it was surely a diamond, taking a deep breath you started to think of whence could you send it to Luke, but you saw something white under the padded that held the collar, lifting it you saw another small paper.

Don’t even try to give it back, it’s yours.

Giggling at that you placed the collar box aside and kept digging, it had a small bag, opening it had another small paper in a convoluted form.

I wanted to send you tulips but it would die inside a box, then I'm sending tulip's seeds so in that way you will get them.

So many international snacks that when you found an envelope you got worried, Kylo wouldn’t send you money, when you opened you found five photos.

All of them in black and white. It was your photos, each one in a different country. It wasn’t like selfies, it was distracted photos of you, photographies you didn’t even know Kylo had taken.

Grabbing the envelope searching for another letter you saw a message on the back of it.

The spotlight of each travel. Those are copies, the originals are with me.

Placing it over your chest you smiled. It was like reading an old book about your life. Hearing the shower's faucet closing you took a deep breath and placed the things back the box before placing the box under your bed.

You undressed and got your pajamas taking it to the bathroom. Kylo Ren fixed in your mind.

Poe was with the towel around his waist and brushing his teeth. "Who sent the box?"

You smiled at him and entered in the shower. "An old friend."

Kylo was right, he was the love of your life, and you were his.

Maybe in another life, you two will have the chance to be together again.

...

@needyomnivore

#kylo ren x reader #poe dameron x reader #yeah #i though in doing a sort of epilogue with Kylo coming back but #but this is a moving on story

30 notes · View notes

awed-frog · 6 years

Note

Hey, Quick question. What did they do to Bryce Dallas Howard?

Hi there, fellow frog!

I guess - they didn’t do anything with her, and that’s my problem. I mean - not that they did anything with anything else, either, in my opinion - the original Jurassic Park was hugely entertaining and creepily well done, but also a reflection on the environment and the nature of science and man, not to mention reasonably feminist (ie, normal in that it treated women like actual people). Meanwhile, the new franchise has none of that. Like, I apprciate Chris Pratt as much as anyone, but most of it is appalling. The whole park seems to revolve around the oooh and aaaah ancient Romans got from watching people tearing one another apart - even the prospect of seeing extinct animals up close causes almost no awe, no wonder. Remember those scenes in the original movie where people got excited about poop and smiled like idiots at everything? Yeah, me too. But here - here it’s all about the bigger monster, the most ferocious beast, the spectacle of slaughter. And as for the characters - look, I may misremember here because when I was watching the movie my eyes kept rolling back inside my skull so there’s some scenes I completely missed, but I mostly hated everyone? For starters, the good guy is a former soldier, which why not but also enough with this relentless propaganda (US military = brave mavericks with hearts of gold; actual scientists = greedy mofos with God complex) and is it ever explained why they picked a guy with zero biology or zoology training for the impossible task of leading a pack of actual dinosaurs? I honestly can’t remember. As for Dallas Howard, she’s a walking trope - the Successful Woman Who Acts Like a Man and Is Therefore Undateable Because Real Women Are Sweet and Maternal but She Is A Bitch - look at how she dismisses her nephews, and how they very nearly die as a result of that.

(And of course, her date with Pratt didn’t go well for the usual reason - he was a sweet goofball, like every other romantic comedy lead, while she was an ambitious and stuck-up hag who thought - wrongly - she deserved better. Sweet Home Alabama comes to mind, also The Proposal and many more I’d rather forget about.)

Plus, well, I just hate how she walks around in those heels for the whole movie - I know that women can wear whatever they want and more power to you, but narratively speaking heels are still the symbol of the male gaze on women, a thing that makes female characters stumble and fall, that traps them like sexy dolls instead of giving them the freedom to run and move and enjoy life (it is telling, in this sense, that many jobs still require heels or else); and also - yeah, some women like wearing heels, but funnily enough those other women - those who don’t shave, don’t wear make-up, prefer sport bras to push-ups and practical shoes to Louboutins - well, they’re only allowed to grace our screens as a Specific Sort of Woman (for instance, the overworked mom chugging wine in her messy kitchen, the depressed singleton who fears she’ll die alone, the fat friend who’s got ‘nice eyes’ or the ‘before’ version of those horrid ‘you too can be a princess if you wear contacts and straighten your hair’ movies). So, I don’t know. I love Bryce Dallas Howard and I think she’s got enough talent to handle way more than Claire Dearing (hell, look at what she did with Ivy in The Village), but every second she was on screen I found myself missing Laura Dern and her no-nonsense approach to islands filled with 150-foot reptiles.

26 notes · View notes

staircasttext · 3 years

Text

Ep 07 Transcript: A Lawless, Bloodly Time

Episode 7

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz.

PAZ: And joining us today, we have a special guest.

ALIX: Hi, I'm Alix.

PAZ: Very excited to have another Warriors expert, Alix, on the podcast.

ALIX: I'm so happy to be here. This is my favorite podcast.

PAZ: Why, thank you. Yeah, so we're all here today with a guest to do like a wrap up episode on Into the Wild cause I think it would be fun, and love to hear from other former Warriors fans and--

ALIX: I'm a current Warriors fan. Excuse you.

PAZ: Yeah. We're-- I don't know. What's the word for when you get back into something? I don't know. We're in it again.

JULIAN: Returning fans.

ALIX: The lapsed fans. Reformed. Reborn.

PAZ: Mm... no?

ALIX: Born again.

JULIAN: Resurrected.

PAZ: Baptized in the waters of RiverClan.

JULIAN: We've done it again, everyone. Fireheart has become Catholic.

PAZ: No. How does this keep happening? We've only been recording for like, two minutes. God. Okay. Um, yes, this is our Into the Wild recap, retrospective episode. But to start, I think we should, you know, get to hear from Alix, like what your relationship to Warriors is.

ALIX: Yeah, so I read these when I was a kid. Probably from when I was something like eight years old. So I don't actually remember how I got into these books. But they were my first major obsession. And I would, you know, tell anybody who would listen about them. I would draw little family trees. I would play Warrior Cats with my sister in the field near our house. Yeah, I love these books. And I started reading them again because of the podcast. And they're good. They're like, legit good.

LIZ: They are.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah, it's like beyond even just the nostalgia factor. Like I'm very much enjoying these books.

ALIX: Yeah, these were the first thing that ever got me to go on fanfiction.net.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Wow.

ALIX: Although I never posted any Warriors fanfiction, I read a lot of it and commented on various, you know, like OC adventures. And I got, you know, a random kit named after my second name, which was fun.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: I also read some Warriors fanfic on fanfic.net. And it was always like, OC. I never read any fanfic, like, featuring just the original characters. I don't know.

ALIX: I don't think I did either.

PAZ: I'll have to look back on.

ALIX: But you know, that's how I kind of got into fanfiction and then I started posting Maximum Ride fanfiction eventually.

JULIAN: A natural transition.

ALIX: Yep. You know, from cats to kids with wings.

PAZ: I also, yeah.

ALIX: And then, you know, I've been in fandom for like 13 years now. And it's how I met all of you guys. So I think it's a good thing that Warriors has done for me.

PAZ: Thank you, Warriors.

ALIX: Thank you Warriors.

LIZ: Warriors, bringing us again together in these dark times.

JULIAN: In this, the darkest hour.

PAZ: In these unprecedented times. Well, I'm very excited to have you on the podcast. But, you know, since you're our guest here, I thought maybe we could quiz you on the book to make sure you're really like up to par for the--

ALIX: To be on the show?

PAZ: Yeah, to be on this show, this very like, well-researched, dedicated show.

ALIX: Well, thank god, you know, I was hoping you wouldn't just let just anyone on the show. Only verified Warrior Cats experts.

PAZ: Yeah, we have to vet you. So luckily there is a quiz on warriorcats.com. An official quiz, How Well Do You Know Into the Wild? So get ready.

ALIX: Do you want me to take it, or do you want me to answer it and then you can put in the answers for me?

PAZ: Yeah, you can answer and we'll read it out.

ALIX: Okay.

PAZ: Okay, you ready?

ALIX: I'm ready. I have my copy of Into the Wild here, but I won't cheat.

PAZ: No cheating. Please, book away.

JULIAN: This is a closed book test.

ALIX: Of course.

PAZ: Who first received the prophecy about fire? A, Bluestar, B, Oakheart, C, Rusty, D, Tigerclaw, or E, Spottedleaf. Oh,

ALIX: I believe it was Spottedleaf?

PAZ: Okay, I think you're right.

ALIX: It's between that and Bluestar. I think they talk about it for sure.

PAZ: Aw, I think you only get to see at the end.

ALIX: Well, okay.

PAZ: We'll see. I think you're right. What was Firepaw's name when he was a kittypet?

ALIX: Okay, quiz.

PAZ: A, Smokey, B, Smudge, C, Henry, D, Rusty, E, Blaze.

ALIX: I'm going to say Rusty.

LIZ: Blaze...

ALIX: God I wish his name was Blaze.

JULIAN: Justice for Henry.

PAZ: Who becomes deputy immediately after Redtail? A, Lionheart, B, Whitestorm, C, Tigerclaw, D, Firepaw, E, Mousefur. That'd be incredible.

LIZ: This baby is my deputy.

ALIX: It is Lionheart.

PAZ: Yes. Okay.

ALIX: I feel like Mousefur only shows up in one scene.

PAZ: Yeah, Mousefur is not really in this book. What happens when Bluestar's patrol passes through the barn on the way back to camp? A, Barley betrays them. B, rats attack them. C, the dogs get loose and attack them. D, they pass through the barn peacefully. E, Firepaw stays with Barley and lives as a loner. That's some AU fanfic.

ALIX: Yeah, that would be a twist. Well, the answer is that rats attack them, and Bluestar loses a life.

PAZ: They sure fucking do.

ALIX: Barley would never betray them.

PAZ: No.

ALIX: This quiz offends me.

PAZ: That's homophobic frankly.

ALIX: Honestly.

PAZ: Who does Ravenpaw claim killed Redtail? A, Oakheart, B, Tigerclaw, C, himself.

[laughter]

D, Bluestar.

LIZ: Tigerclaw wrote this quiz.

PAZ: He did.

ALIX: Is there an E?

PAZ: E, Whitestorm.

ALIX: It is Tigerclaw and I would just want to say, claim? Like what is this, like a news headline?

PAZ: Tigerclaw wrote this quiz.

JULIAN: It's important to show both sides.

PAZ: Snopes.com article. Number six. What are Firepaw and Graypaw's warrior names? A. Aw, there's some good ones here.

ALIX: A, Bananaear and Susanclaw.

PAZ: Firestorm and Graycloud.

ALIX: Ooh.

PAZ: Fireleaf and Graystream, Firedusk and Graycreek, Fireheart and Graystripe, or Firefur and Graytail.

ALIX: Wow. I'm going to say Fireheart and Graystripe but these are all have really powerful energy.

JULIAN: I'm really partial to Firedusk and Graycreek. They have like really chaotic energy.

PAZ: Yeah, Graycreek is hard to pronounce. I just want to say gay. Gaycreek.

ALIX: Gaycreek.

PAZ: Cause with the two R's in there, it's too much.

ALIX: Yeah. It is Gay Creek.

PAZ: Well, Alix, you got six out of six. Well done.

LIZ: Wow.

ALIX: Wow.

PAZ: You can count yourself among the true masters of all things warriors.

ALIX: Wow.

LIZ: If you get a six out of six, I think you just become the new podcast host. Sorry, guys.

ALIX: Yeah, welcome to my podcast, Stairway to Starclan. I have three guests this week.

PAZ: Oh shit.

LIZ: It's an honor to be here.

JULIAN: Alix has pulled a Tigerclaw.

LIZ: That's why. They're a real fan.

ALIX: I'm so glad all my studying paid off. I'm still laughing at that centrist question. I wonder how well I could have answered these questions before I reread the book recently. I feel like I might have gotten tripped up on the prophecy one.

PAZ: Yeah. The official website is so hard because you can't just sort by, like quizzes or anything. Maybe you can. It's tagged quiz, but I don't know how to see tags. I don't know. The website is a mess. It loads like, so slow also.

JULIAN: It's very slick looking. But I feel like they put a lot of effort into the design and not a lot of effort into like, the back end.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah.

ALIX: Too bad.

PAZ: It's too powerful, too, and not, like--

LIZ: Done?

PAZ: I forgot the gamer term I was gonna-- well-optimized. Yeah, so now that we all know we know Into the Wild very well and by heart, yeah, like, in retrospect, like, what do we want to say about it and like, what-- I don't know, like, what new things did we learn? Like, I guess to the returning fans.

ALIX: I thought I was-- I had this idea in my head that training took like, he started at six moons, and it takes exactly six moons, but I forgot that it's just like, whenever Bluestar decides you're done.

PAZ: Yeah, it is like that.

JULIAN: Yeah, I also remembered training being a lot longer, I think because like, when I was doing roleplay, training was such a big part of it. And it was such like a structured-- because you had to get like a certain number of posts to become a warrior. So there was a lot of just like, Oh, I'm gonna write my training posts. I hope my friend who's already a warrior will pretend to teach me to hunt.

PAZ: I feel like maybe some of the later books spend longer on the training. I feel like there's a lot of like, timeskips off screen during this. Because it was at least a couple of months.

ALIX: I think you guys are saying like, they originally planned this to be one book.

PAZ: Yeah.

ALIX: And you can definitely tell that they were, you know, they're kind of trying to sort of usher Fireheart through the whole, like, warriors process fairly quickly, even if it's six books instead of one.

PAZ: Yeah, cause I don't know, maybe I might be misremembering, but I feel like in the Power of Three, they're apprentices for, like, at least more than one book because they, I mean, they start out as kits.

JULIAN: Yeah, I definitely thought that Fireheart didn't become a warrior until book two. So realizing that he's like a warrior at the end of book one was a surprise to me.

PAZ: Yeah, he feels so small.

JULIAN: He's just a little guy.

ALIX: And justice for Sandpaw and Dustpaw.

PAZ: Oh, my God. I know.

ALIX: Like, sure, they're kind of bullies. But like, that doesn't mean you get to like fail them out of high school.

PAZ: They're super seniors now. You know, yeah. Honestly, though, it seems like a lot of clans it's just like, whatever the leader wants is how the rules work, apparently.

ALIX: Yeah, damn.

PAZ: I don't-- no, the leaders don't get elected either. It's just like, whoever fucking was deputy.

ALIX: Yeah. They get elected by the former leader through nepotism.

PAZ: Through nepotism. Yeah, the society. It's unreal.

JULIAN: Feral cats, I have concerns about your societal structure. I think you should get a parliament going.

ALIX: Truly.

LIZ: And the nepotism that we're presented with is better than the straight up just like monarchy in ShadowClan, right? The options you have here. They're so-- they're grim.

PAZ: Well, I hope ShadowClan gets over that monarchy thing. Get well soon. But I guess what I got out of this book is I like Firepaw more than I did as a kid when I thought he was too boring and didn't continue reading. I think he's endearing as like a dumb little little guy. You know, I have appreciation for like, like, loves their friend shonen protag archetype now.

ALIX: Yeah.

JULIAN: I feel like I came to these books off of Redwall as a kid. And so I was so-- Redwall is full of like, really, really stupid protagonists. So I was primed to appreciate like a little himbo who loves his friends and wants to do what's right and good. Yeah, but I love him. I was worried I wouldn't like him as much the second time around, and I do. He's a sweet little boy.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah, I'm excited to see how reading the first series in which he is the protagonist will color my rereadings of the later books, because when I was reading the series for the first time, he was just like another NPC essentially. And like I vaguely knew, like, what was up with his story, but I think I'll be more emotionally attached to some of the scenes he gets in like later books now.

ALIX: I do think like this, this book reminded me like how extremely appealing they make the whole Warriors way of life. Like it really is something you want to fantasize about being, even though they're like a bunch of like stinky cats in the woods. I still, like as a 23 year old, I'm like, damn, I wish I could get out there and sleep in a bush and walk on a log. You know?

PAZ: Yeah. I remember loving the descriptions of the camp in the later books so much. And it's like yes, I do want to sleep in like a little cave with moss. I do.

ALIX: Every time me and my sister would go camping or something or just, you know, go to some area that had like, that was natural, we would always try to find a cat camp and be like, Okay, this is like where the leader would make announcements. This is where the medicine cat would sleep.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: Aw.

ALIX: It was a very fun activity that I recommend anytime you're in the woods.

LIZ: All right, make a note everybody.

JULIAN: Next time I go on one of my silly little walks.

LIZ: We're gonna get to a Patreon tier, and it's called going to camp in the woods and be cats.

PAZ: We're gonna LARP for money?

LIZ: Yes.

ALIX: #makeCrabClanReal.

PAZ: Okay.

ALIX: I'll pay for it. Listen, I'll sign up.

LIZ: We will set up our own society.

ALIX: And just live there?

LIZ: Yeah.

ALIX: Great.

PAZ: I think we're just reinventing like utopian communes of the 70s.

JULIAN: I was gonna say, yeah.

ALIX: But were they based off a middle grade book? I don't think so.

JULIAN: Patreon tier, Staircast invents a cult.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Oh god.

ALIX: Liz, I'm so like, curious if there was anything that you thought was going to happen in this book that didn't?

LIZ: I thought that they were going to get Tigerclaw like instantly at the end, and that would be it.

ALIX: Right.

LIZ: They did not. Understandably. I just felt like they would. But um yeah, I know that he's like, going to be around for a while, just given like--

PAZ: Yeah, sorry.

LIZ: --name changes that I've seen.

PAZ: I haven't censored his, uh, yeah. Look away. Cover your ears.

LIZ: Alright, closing my eyes. Someone has to stop the Audacity file for me. Um, yeah, I don't know. I went into this just knowing nothing, except that there would be little guys and I liked it a lot. And yeah, I was-- saying I was surprised that it was so engagingly written sounds condescending. But like, I just didn't expect to be so invested. And it is like, storywise very, like solidly crafted. There's some good plot beats. Course I love the characters because they are just little guys. I do want to just take a nap in some moss even though it's probably real stinky.

ALIX: Here's my question. When do you think they are going to get Tigerclaw? Like in what book out of six? Or like, you know, I don't know, if perhaps he continues on past the first series?

LIZ: I don't know. The way you phrase that made me real suspicious. At the end of the next series?

ALIX: Whoa.

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Ooh.

ALIX: Interesting.

JULIAN: Some real longevity on this guy.

LIZ: Well, I'm putting a real slow, slow game here. Like a slow bet. None of these terms are real, I think. I'm getting safer with the predictions because just right away did not work.

ALIX: Yeah, I mean, that's a good point. Like he could have, really easily been like, villain of the week.

PAZ: Yeah, he could have. Yeah, that's kind of what-- well I guess Brokenstar wasn't really onscreen that much. But he had more of a villain of the week vibe. But I don't know. He's still out there somewhere. The ShadowClan stuff is very off screen, which is kinda funny.

JULIAN: Yeah, I liked it. But I kind of wish there had been more focus on it. I know it's hard to kind of keep two antagonists going.

PAZ: Mm-hmm.

JULIAN: But it felt like it was very, like it was all at the end there.

PAZ: Yeah. I guess I tried to, like, weave it in through Yellowfang. Which was like an interesting choice. It wasn't totally out of the blue, but definitely like it felt like-- you'd like expected it to like-- the climax to like center on Tigerclaw. And then it swerved and it was like actually, ShadowClan's like, fucked up monarchy situation.

ALIX: It's-- okay. I can't say this because of spoilers, but I'm mad about it.

LIZ: Hold on. I'll close my ears. And then you can say it.

PAZ: No.

ALIX: I will not say it. I will say it in our Warrior Cats spoiler chat later.

LIZ: I'll get in there someday.

JULIAN: You will.

PAZ: I think we can let you in there once we finish the Power of Three because that's up to where all of us read.

JULIAN: There's not really-- like, if there's spoilers for later books, it's not because we read them.

PAZ: I've been spoiling myself for later books. I don't care. Just clicking around.

LIZ: Reckless.

PAZ: I mean, I guess a pleasant surprise for me was finding out there's gay cats, canonically.

JULIAN: Yeah, that was really nice.

PAZ: I didn't know that.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I mean, even if it's kind of like, wink wink, nudge nudge because the publisher won't let it be explicitly said, I guess, from what I've read, but it made me very happy.

ALIX: Yeah. I think this book has really surprisingly complex characters in at least like Yellowfang and Ravenpaw.

PAZ: Yeah, they're definitely my two favorite characters of this book.

ALIX: The gay ones.

PAZ: Yeah. Love Barley, too. Of course.

LIZ: I did quickly google, are there gay owls in Gahoole, and the answer seems to be no. So Warrior Cats, you've got one thing. You've got several things over that right now.

ALIX: I mean, the cats aren't blacksmiths, which is a disappointment, but I guess, you know, if you're gay don't have time to be blacksmiths.

LIZ: You don't need a blacksmith if you're gay.

PAZ: No, you don't. It's just vibes.

ALIX: Just vibe.

PAZ: I'm excited to get to the other gay character so we can talk about him also.

ALIX: Oh, yes. We need lesbian cats.

PAZ: Yeah. That seems to be lacking. I hope they get on that.

JULIAN: Some wlw representation please.

PAZ: Please. I am excited for the New Prophecy where like the Leafpool and Moth... Wait, who is it? God.

ALIX: Mothwing?

PAZ: Mothwing, Yeah, I know lots of people shipped them, and I think as a child I didn't--

ALIX: You got the vibe?

PAZ: --notice anything so. I want those vibes on that reread.

ALIX: Yeah. Another interesting thing I think is that, um, I think it becomes very explicit later that StarClan is real and tangible. But like, I was surprised that in this book, like, I mean, there's like the whole like, Moonstone prophecy thing, but like StarClan seems much less like, there, if that makes sense.

PAZ: Yeah, like, as Julian noted in the first episode, I feel like it gets more magical, like with each passing series.

JULIAN: Yeah. My memory of like, the first episode, or the first series is very much like StarClan is there but like, as a religious force, and not as like an actual entity with power in the world.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah. I mean, even in this book, it can be kind of ambiguous because like, with, like the Bluestar nine lives things, it could reasonably be read like she just got injured really bad.

ALIX: She's just cool and strong.

PAZ: But yeah, StarClan gets real involved later.

JULIAN: Her nine girlboss lives.

ALIX: All girlbosses have nine lives.

LIZ: The StarClan thing is surprising to hear about as to what happens later on because, like, for me going in, it seems to be just like placement as religion I guess. It's like the system of spirituality for me. That's the impression that I got from this book. So seeing that it's-- I'm assuming like, actual StarClan cats are gonna show up. That's like, very interesting.

ALIX: I mean, even I haven't kind of gotten to where it becomes way more of a plot point, I think.

PAZ: From what I've read of spoilers of the later seasons, it really just escalates. Which is very funny. But I guess they also like, built in a system in which to have characters come back, if you just have this like dead cat group hanging around.

ALIX: Like Spottedleaf, who dies so fast.

PAZ: Oh, my god, that was another thing.

LIZ: I mean, it was very sudden. I also didn't expect that.

ALIX: People kinda die left and right in this book.

PAZ: Yeah, that's so true.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's one thing I didn't remember is like, I remembered them being like, very, you know, battle-focused and whatever. But I did not remember how easily characters die, and how many characters die, and like how violent they are. Which I think is partly like, as a kid you don't really conceive of violence as like a real thing as much. And then, like, you're reading about these cats, like tearing each other's throats out as an adult. It's like, Oh, geez.

PAZ: Yeah, and this book was not even, like, nowhere near that levels of violence that show up later.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah. No.

ALIX: But they just like introduce and kill characters so fast and this and I feel like that doesn't really continue.

PAZ: Yeah, that might be like a byproduct of them thinking this would be the only series or even like, initially one book. Cause I think even after this expanded into a series, they thought it'd just be like one standalone series. They didn't think it would keep going. So they're probably like, way less precious with characters.

ALIX: Goodbye, Lionheart. Goodbye, Spottedleaf.

JULIAN: Pour one out.

ALIX: Do we feel-- I forget if you guys talked about like whether or not Spottedleaf is like fridged wife trope.

PAZ: No, we didn't. Partially because like in this book, it really doesn't-- I mean, it doesn't feel like a romance. And I don't think it should. It feels very much like baby's first crush on like older person who is not getting involved in any way.

ALIX: Gives him herbs.

PAZ: Gives him herbs. Yeah, classic trope.

LIZ: Yeah, it feels like, when she actually dies, it's like a kind of a growing up moment, almost like, oh, something got real. And this person who I just had like a regular crush on, got caught in the crossfire. Not that cats have guns.

ALIX: God, I hope not.

PAZ: It doesn't linger on it very long. Although from what I know of Fire and Ice, I think it revisits that plot point. But yeah, in this book, it felt very like unimportant, in a way.

ALIX: He doesn't spend a lot of time going, oh no, but if Spottedleaf had lived, then we would have been mates. He's just like, this is sad.

PAZ: No, yeah. Which is fine. Because she was definitely like, presented as an older figure. I don't know.

JULIAN: Yeah. I think we get more into, like, how he feels about that in the later books, where he does some processing. He also hasn't had any time to really have any feelings. Not that I think of him as like a real emotional cat. But, you know, it's been-- he's had a busy couple days.

ALIX: He hasn't had time to tell Bluestar.

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: I was gonna say, there's not much like internal self reflection, or like thoughts in this book. And yeah, there's no thoughts going on in that head at all. Also, just like, I don't need to tell Bluestar.

ALIX: He is no thoughts head empty.

PAZ: I mean, that's like one of the ways you can like-- if you've read other books, you can kind of like feel how this is like the first book because I do feel like, in some way the characters have less like, complex inner lives, in a way where like, personal drama and angst becomes very central in later books.

ALIX: Yeah, if this were a later cat, I feel like he would be way sadder than he is at any point in this book.

PAZ: Yeah. For sure.

ALIX: He's just happy to be here.

JULIAN: He's just vibing.

PAZ: He really loves being a little wildcat. He loves that he kept his balls.

JULIAN: Okay, yeah, no, that's the main thing that I don't remember from when I was a child.

PAZ: Oh god, yeah.

JULIAN: Revisiting these is like, Oh, yeah, okay, there's a lot of focus on whether cats are intact or not.

ALIX: You said intact like as if they were a virgin.

JULIAN: That's what they call it with like horses. Where it's like--

LIZ: Do they? Oh my god.

JULIAN: Yeah, where it's like an intact stallion.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Ugh, that's weird.

JULIAN: I know, it's really awful.

ALIX: I never was into horses. So.

PAZ: I was, but not-- I didn't care about that stuff.

LIZ: I also was, but I didn't know anything about them, and I kept not knowing anything about them the whole time I was interested in them. I read Black Beauty and like, the book said that he was like a gelding and I was like, what's that? I'm not gonna pay attention.

ALIX: I read a lot of different horse books.

LIZ: Must be a different horse.

ALIX: And they'd be like, oh, this is a gelding. And I'm like, is that a type of horse? Cool. Smiley face. Let's move on.

JULIAN: I had a lot of friends who actually rode and like, either owned horses or like, lived on working farms.

PAZ: Yeah, my aunt owned horses, but I don't know. I wasn't that involved. She didn't like teach me horse facts or anything. I just got to ride on a horse sometimes.

LIZ: We really are just like, wow, cool horse.

PAZ: Yeah, the ball focus is so funny. And it really truly is the basis of the entire series.

ALIX: Yeah. I cannot wait for you guys to get to a specific point in the next book which relates to this.

PAZ: Oh boy.

JULIAN: I feel like the reproductive politics of these books are very interesting. And I'm like--

ALIX: They are.

JULIAN: --interested or like, excited to like, talk more about their whole situation.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of points that I am, like, I guess excited or, like, look forward to talking more about or like, like, being able to do that. Also like ableism in Warrior Cats is a topic I know I want to be able to address later like, once that comes up, cause that's a big issue. But also like--

ALIX: Good news. Comes up very fast.

PAZ: Whoo. Oh boy.

JULIAN: Yay.

PAZ: But yeah, also just like to continue to look into the, like, gender, family, reproductive politics going on here.

ALIX: At least it isn't fully like a you got to be married with kids type thing. I feel like it's more than anything emphasizing letting people make their own choices.

PAZ: Yeah, for sure.

JULIAN: Yeah. Like, there are a lot of like, female cats who are like, medicine cat or warriors or whatever.

PAZ: Yeah. It is very funny though, that one of your roles in society is just pregnant.

ALIX: I was thinking about this. I was like, I know that there's some queens who just like stay in the nursery to help out the other queens, even if they don't have kits at the time. And I was like, do they let male cats do that? Because I feel like they should.

PAZ: They should. I mean, I guess in that way, there is an aspect of communal parenting, like it's not as focused on nuclear families, which is nice to see.

JULIAN: Everybody cares for the kits.

ALIX: Yeah, it's really not at all, because like, I think they retconned a lot of people into being siblings and related. But I think the whole point of the first book is like, you know, find your chosen family. And people care a lot more about their mentors than their parents.

JULIAN: Yeah, like people's parents-- at least in the first book-- kind of don't matter.

PAZ: Yeah, they're non-existent.

ALIX: It's also the like, middle grade thing of like, we want to make young characters but then just get parents out of the way so they're an orphan or they're a cat. The two genders, orphan or cat.

LIZ: Oh since we like mentioned medicine cats as a status? Role? Whatever, just now. I want to say like, I wasn't surprised that there was only one because that tends to be a thing, but I think that they should have more than one doctor for their whole society. Seems like a-- they're taking some risks here.

PAZ: Yeah, as a kid I did not question that. I never had one thought of like why aren't there more doctors?

ALIX: I feel like there should be like five, right?

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah. Like your whole society is based around fighting other cats.

ALIX: Mm-hmm.

JULIAN: You need to have more healers.

PAZ: So weird.

JULIAN: Your party's wildly unbalanced.

LIZ: Everyone is DPS but Spottedleaf.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that till you brought it up, Liz. But that is an important point. It's also like the medicine cats are like both doctors and like spiritual leaders. Um, which is like, you know, not that uncommon, I think.

PAZ: Yeah, I think I saw an interview or something somewhere where they mentioned medicine women and like, that, like that kind of trope tying into like medicine cats. Yeah, but you can see that I guess. I mean, as like with the problems with that trope and stuff, but yeah.

ALIX: But there still should be like five.

PAZ: There still should be, yes.

LIZ: Did Spottedleaf even have an apprentice?

PAZ: No.

ALIX: No.

LIZ: Cause she was kind of young, right? So like hey, your society already has a problem with dying young, so I don't know. I think some more thought should go into this.

PAZ: I don't know what they were planning to do if Yellowfang hadn't happened to be there.

ALIX: I feel like-- yeah. No, this is from fanfiction. But maybe it comes up later, but like I was reading a fic where again, like the medicine cat dies and there's no apprentice, and like, they just like wait for like a sign from StarClan as to like which warrior now becomes the medicine cat.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: But I feel like you would miss out on so many... like so much knowledge. What are you going to do, go ask another medicine cat like, which herb does what? Just rely on dreams? What's going on?

LIZ: Well, can you imagine sharing vital medical knowledge from other cats with other cats?

JULIAN: Well, and they can't write anything down. It's all oral tradition. So like, if you don't have that continuity of oral tradition, everything is lost.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: Right?

ALIX: I guess they don't lose anything because they're around forever in heaven. But also, do you just get trained at night by a dead medicine cat in your dreams?

PAZ: Oh god.

LIZ: You get like a dream DM and it's just like, the ghost of Spottedleaf being like, Hey, wake up.

JULIAN: You up?

ALIX: I'm just thinking of that one meme where somebody is spraying somebody with fire to wake them up. Hey, wake up. Fire will save the clan.

JULIAN: I feel like, you know, even if you can have your ghost mentor, there's some stuff it's helpful to have a hands on demonstration of, or pawson.

ALIX: Yeah. How do you know the technique for fucking biting tit. Ticks.

[laughter]

JULIAN: Yeah?

ALIX: But also, wait, hold on. Like why if they all remember everything, have they not made great strides in medical advancement?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

PAZ: Yeah, that limits them in a lot of ways.

ALIX: I guess.

LIZ: They technically know everything, but their memory is really bad because they're cats. So it's all there.

ALIX: Right?

LIZ: But it's passive.

JULIAN: Okay, real question. Why hasn't StarClan told Bluestar to stay the fuck away from Tigerclaw?

PAZ: Right? StarClan has a problem being--

LIZ: They're really bored. They're just like, oh no, I want to see this play out.

PAZ: Yeah, what else do they have to do?

ALIX: They gotta watch the drama.

JULIAN: There's some sort of StarClan Prime Directive, where they can't interfere too much.

PAZ: There probably is. I don't know.

ALIX: Also, it's not clear how much of the future they actually know.

JULIAN: I mean, not even the future, just the present.

ALIX: I don't think they can read Tigerclaw's mind.

JULIAN: But they can see he killed Redtail.

PAZ: StarClan says I pretend I do not see it.

LIZ: No, there's someone in StarClan just being like, you know, I never liked Redtail.

PAZ: Meanwhile, Redtail's right there.

ALIX: Yeah, why doesn't Redtail's ghost show up and solve his murder? Hold on.

PAZ: Right? Oh my god.

JULIAN: The real Hamlet.

ALIX: Yeah!

PAZ: Yeah, Redtail should have been like, I don't know, haunting Ravenpaw and I don't know. That'd be a cool different book.

ALIX: There has to be a whole reason why they can't just say things because otherwise there would just never be any mysteries.

PAZ: Yeah, that probably gets addressed later, I assume.

ALIX: Redtail showing up like, hey, uh.

PAZ: Alix, I'm just thinking of that fic you linked where Redtail and Tigerclaw were exes.

LIZ: [gasps] Oh my god. Oh it makes sense.

ALIX: I wanted to bring this up because it was such a fucking powerful concept to me.

PAZ: I know, I love it.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: I love some murder exes.

PAZ: Right?

ALIX: Because it was basically being used as cover for him. Like he was like-- you know, even if you report the murder that I do, they won't think it's because I want power. They'll think it's because I'm jealous.

LIZ: Oh my god.

ALIX: He's like trying to come up with like fuckin like different like defenses in Warriors court.

LIZ: They should have Warriors court. They should have other professions.

ALIX: Where's the lawyer cats?

LIZ: Of course Tigerclaw would be gay and homophobic.

ALIX: I think that's exactly what Paz said.

PAZ: Yeah, I think I did. But yeah, that's his vibe. He also like goes to the gym a lot.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: God, he's a fucking gym rat.

PAZ: He is.

ALIX: Oh my god. Tigerclaw's Grindr.

JULIAN: He posts his like abs down picture on Grindr and is like stealth.

ALIX: I liked that fic though because it was just like everybody was like, You didn't know that? It wasn't like a torrid secret. It was just like Tigerclaw is bi and has a fraught ex, and I'm like, honestly, this is great.

JULIAN: Firepaw walks into this incredible queer drama just like, (high-pitched) what's up?

LIZ: What's going on?

ALIX: Oh, you didn't know?

JULIAN: Out here in the forest cats are gay.

ALIX: That fic is just so galaxy brained.

PAZ: Yeah, that was a humongous take.

LIZ: Imagine Graypaw expositing all of this in like his usual fashion, but it's just everyone's list of previous breakups.

JULIAN: Okay, so Whitestorm and Lionheart have some beef because they used to date until...

PAZ: God.

ALIX: This is incredible.

JULIAN: And like they're mostly fine, but they shouldn't like sit next to each other.

LIZ: Firepaw voice, what's dating?

ALIX: I'm six months old.

LIZ: I didn't know what hunting was called.

PAZ: Oh, boy.

LIZ: I just got here. I love the dirt. Hi, I'm Firepaw.

PAZ: Wow, what an accurate impression.

JULIAN: I'm sure this has been written where-- because I've seen a lot of like AUs on AO3 where they're all human. Um, and I'm sure that someone has written-- or I hope that someone has written the AU where the clans are just like different queer student groups on campus, and Firepaw is like the baby freshman who's just discovered like queerness as a concept.

PAZ: People definitely write high school AUs and I'm too scared to click to find out if they're still cats or humans.

LIZ: I hope they're just cats but they go to cat school and they take cat studies, like meowthematics, and... That's the only one I have.

PAZ: Oh perfect.

ALIX: I hope it's like the My Little Pony movie where there's an alternate universe where they're all humans, but then sometimes they can Magical Girl turn into ponies.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: That's so good.

LIZ: I'm just picturing that going like Animorphs, like the covers. Human boy to little guy.

JULIAN: Shoop.

ALIX: I keep realizing I'm imagining like human Fireheart as KJ Apa from Riverdale.

PAZ: Is that the main guy? I don't--

ALIX: Yeah, it's Archie.

JULIAN: It's just the guy who plays Archie.

ALIX: I'm just like who's like a redhead and plays a himbo?

PAZ: A dumb jock.

ALIX: Although Archie's not nice enough to be a himbo. Anyways.

LIZ: You know, these cats are British. Do you think if we go back far enough in like the Wayback Machine, we're gonna see like, here's my fancast for human Firepaw. It's Rupert Grint.

ALIX: Yes. Yes.

PAZ: Absolutely.

JULIAN: Honestly, it's probably somewhere on Tumblr, like if I do some digging. I'll report back.

PAZ: You probably wouldn't even have to look that hard.

ALIX: That fully exists.

LIZ: Here's my fancast for older Firepaw, so I guess Fireheart, and it's Ed Sheeran.

PAZ: [groaning]

LIZ: [laughter]

JULIAN: Noooo.

LIZ: I couldn't think of that many red-headed dudes. And that was the only one I got.

PAZ: Oh, I'm picturing Ed Sheeran in my head right now. It's so scary. I don't want to.

LIZ: It's a scary image.

ALIX: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Do we want to, as a palate cleanser, move on to the questions?

PAZ: Yes, sure. So, you know, end of book wrap up, I figured we could also do some more questions, and we have gotten some. So we're gonna dive into those. And let's do the first one.

JULIAN: Um, I can read it out. It's less of a question and more of a--

PAZ: Yeah, anecdote.

JULIAN: --reminiscence, which I also love. "Hello Staircast, when I was an elementary schooler in 2009, there was a big community of Warrior Cats roleplayers on MIT Scratch for some reason, despite it being a platform for a block-based programming language designed to teach intro computer science, like people would roleplay in the comments. Anyway, I have brought these vintage cat OCS I submitted to coloring contests." We have Rainkit, "a small hyper kit who likes to run around and jump on things. She wants to be the best hunter ever." Rainkit is a gray kit with a little blue heart mark around one of her eyes. And she's saying hi.

PAZ: Beautiful-- it looks like a photo of the Grand Canyon?

JULIAN: I think it's the Grand Canyon.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: In the background. I love that setting.

ALIX: Cat is not wearing pants.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: No. And then the other submission is Chaosfox. Oh, it's--

PAZ: Oh wait, music. Oh my god. It's so loud. How do I make it stop?

ALIX: I had to mute the site.

PAZ: Oh my god.

ALIX: This is so powerful.

JULIAN: "Chaosfox lives alone in a secluded area of the forest. She used to belong to a clan known as BoneClan but was turned out when it was discovered she had killed another cat. It was an accident."

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: "But she was framed by her brother Longclaw. She avoids other cats and will likely attack you if you come near her. She's very thin because prey is scarce where she lives. She'd never reveal it, but she is lonely."

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Oh my god.

ALIX: Oh my god.

PAZ: What is this song?

LIZ: I don't know. I'm afraid to turn it back on. It's very loud.

ALIX: It's so loud.

JULIAN: And then when you click on the little play to get this animation going, Chaosfox is like rainbow, like has little shards of rainbow color that make up her body. It's really good. It's really incredible.

LIZ: It's animated.

PAZ: I feel like I can see her bone tail, like?

ALIX: Oh, yeah. It's powerful.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

LIZ: The colors are oscillating. It's very beautiful. I have so much respect for this artist.

ALIX: I feel like-- like the audacity of BoneClan for kicking someone out for doing murder.

PAZ: Right?

ALIX: You're called BoneClan.

JULIAN: Oh, thank you for sending that in, Ruby.

PAZ: Thank you. These are beautiful. If you remember what this song is called, I guess, @ us.

LIZ: Yeah, we'd love to know and then we'd love to just make that our new theme song forever. Same volume.

JULIAN: No slow ramp.

PAZ: Okay, I have to close that tab.

ALIX: That's incredible. I love that so much.

PAZ: And that was from Ruby. Thank you, Ruby.

LIZ: Thank you so much.

ALIX: I can read one if you want.

PAZ: Okay.

ALIX: "Dear esteemed cat scholars, in the last episode, you mentioned how cats should broaden their horizons and establish more roles and jobs for cats and their societies. My question is, could, should, and would cats unionize?" And that's from Maayan.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: I think they should unionize.

ALIX: They should.

JULIAN: Right, everyone should unionize.

PAZ: I don't know if they would.

ALIX: Maybe.

JULIAN: They seem to be very attached to a hierarchical structure right now. So I think they would need to do some like-- you'd have to do some real consciousness building.

PAZ: Some workshops.

JULIAN: Among the cats to like encourage them to think as a group. They do think about the wellbeing of the clan, but like, you would have to frame it so that they could see that, like, when warriors have better working conditions, everyone benefits.

ALIX: I mean, to be fair, leaders aren't like bosses because they actually do like hunt and fight. Like they do work. So it's not 100% like they're exploiting the labor of the other cats. But I still think collective bargaining would be good for them.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I think the apprentices should unionize.

ALIX: Yeah, yes, yes, yes, their labor is exploited, I would say.

PAZ: For sure.

LIZ: They should unionize so they get like, you know, some safety protocols, like not being sent to snake hell while you're an intern by your evil mentor.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think they should unionize and fight for a better mentor selection.

LIZ: Yeah.

ALIX: Literally.

PAZ: Have some say in that process.

LIZ: There should be a review board, right? Like some sort of approval process.

ALIX: Like any accountability.

LIZ: Uh-huh.

PAZ: Ratemymentor.com. Tigerclaw has an F.

JULIAN: But he does have a chili pepper.

ALIX: According to Redtail, at least.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: What's Ravenpaw's review? Just like, 0/10, tried to kill me.

ALIX: I got stabbed here.

PAZ: Would not come back.

ALIX: Good sandwiches, would come back.

LIZ: Also, just lectures. Does not teach.

PAZ: Well, I guess that's our answer. They should unionize--

ALIX: But they won't.

PAZ: The apprentices especially, but they won't. Who wants to read this next one?

LIZ: I'll read it. This is from-- I don't know who it's from.

PAZ: Oh, whoops.

LIZ: There's no-- is it signed?

PAZ: Let me go look in the email.

ALIX: This is a dream from StarClan.

JULIAN: It's from Nat.

LIZ: Okay. So this question's from Nat. The header is The Proboards Experience. "Hi Staircast cast, loving the show. I know it's been mentioned, so I'm sure you would have got around to answering this question from me eventually. But do y'all remember the Proboards RP golden age? I cannot count the amount of Proboards I created or joined, many of them for Warriors. And most of them seeing participation for an average of four weeks, after which they died forever."

PAZ: Yep.

LIZ: "I'd love to hear if any of you were part of the scene. And if you have any strong emotion--" sorry-- "any strong memories. Here's the only one I remember. At some point, I knew the creator of it. Now I don't have any recollection of how." And there's a link to the Proboards. "Look at all the work that went into the architecture of this thing, only for a small group of internet kids to never use it due to moderating and advertising being hard." Aww. "I've also attached some fantastic 2009 fanart of it, which I found recently and unlocked my memory of that particular forum. Thanks again for letting me re-experience these books in your podcast." And attached is just a stunning, beautiful piece of art that I wish I could blow it up on the screen and show everybody.

PAZ: Yes, so it has the name of the forums on it, which is Moonlight Dreams. And "Dreams" is in beautiful rainbow font, very atmospheric. And it looks like there's five cats in a cave around Moonpool, maybe? I don't know. Yeah, three of them look very astonished. One of them looks really angry. There's a story going on here.

LIZ: There's a little kind of orangey brown cat on the far right with one black paw, and I think that's just-- mwah. That's adorable.

PAZ: That's character design, baby.

ALIX: Oh my gosh.

JULIAN: I mean, like I obviously have a lot of memories of the Proboards Golden Age. Um, my best friend in elementary school's older sister set up a forum for us to RP, starclan13.proboards.com. And it was a weird mix of like our friends, and then the older sister's group of friends, who were about three years older, and then at some point I got my little brother, who at the time was like six, and all his friends into it. So we ended up, because obviously at the time you needed to be 13 to create an account anywhere that you could post, because of child safety laws. And my parents knew about this law. And so I was like, well no, it's different. Proboards is different somehow. I managed to convince them that it was okay for us all to be doing that. And it was because we knew almost everyone who was on the board.

But I spent-- I had 45 minutes on the computer per day and I spent every one of those 45 minutes RPing as my OC Pinestripe. I didn't realize that like most Proboards apparently weren't very active because ours was incredibly active, maybe because we all knew each other in real life and could yell at each other to get online. But like now that I'm looking-- I like pulled it up, and I'm looking at it, and there's a total of 45,000 posts on this website.

PAZ: Jeez.

LIZ: Oh my god.

ALIX: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Yeah, part of this is after we stopped or I stopped RPing as actively, there was kind of a second wave in like 2010 of people that we did not know in real life, who I guess found the site. We had done some like cross advertising on different RP forums. And I guess they found it via that and kind of took over and were super active. So I was not around for all 45,000 of those posts.

PAZ: That's wild.

JULIAN: But it was very active. We had a total of like 300 members total.

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: Of like very elaborate plot.

LIZ: Amazing.

PAZ: Yeah, just for comparison, the Proboards that our listener linked has a total post count of 125.

LIZ: Aw.

ALIX: There's also-- 50 of these posts are in the Advertising Other Sites.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: Yeah, I was definitely on Proboards, but not for Warriors Cats ever, I don't think. That was mostly confined to Neopets for me. I think-- so I was in a guild on Neopets that did Invader Zim role play. And we eventually moved to Proboards.

ALIX: Incredible.

PAZ: So that's what I was roleplaying on Proboards.

LIZ: I didn't know that about you, not the Invader Zim part.

PAZ: I don't like to talk about it.

LIZ: Cause you--

ALIX: Yeah, I never-- oh sorry, go ahead.

LIZ: Oh, no, you go first. I'll wait for after because it's very important.

ALIX: I was just gonna say I was never on Proboards. I RPed Warrior Cats on Gaia Online.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I knew a lot of people who did Maximum Ride there. But yeah, I don't know. It was um, I was like a site admin for a while, which was really neat, because I got to learn how to do some HTML and CSS.

PAZ: Hell yeah.

JULIAN: You know, I moved from doing my Neopets shop to-- unfortunately, you can't see the site as it used to look because a lot of the-- we used to have like a really big top banner, and, like special graphics for everything, and custom emoticons. And a lot of those were all hosted on Photobucket.

[chorus of aws]

JULIAN: Along with almost everyone's RP signatures, so unfortunately, many of those are gone.

PAZ: Tragic.

ALIX: Wow.

LIZ: Lost history. Like that genuinely makes me sad.

JULIAN: I am gonna see if the Wayback Machine ever archived this.

PAZ: Yeah, that'd be good.

LIZ: It was a pretty big one, it might have. Yeah, I guess I never like did any Proboard stuff, and I stopped using Neopets after my friend at the time tried to teach me how to bank on it. I was like, well, I can't do this. Yeah, so it's interesting to hear like, everyone's different, like, experiences with it, because I just like-- it just passed me by.

I do want to look at the Proboards that was linked in the question because there's some interesting little descriptions here for like-- there's a folder called Calm River. And it says, "this is a small part of the river that is very calm. It is good for catching fish and wonderful for swimming if you have some free time. On the sandy banks is where warriors like teaching their apprentices battle moves." And it's all very sweet.

ALIX: Yeah, it's so empty though.

JULIAN: Oh, great news. It is on the Wayback Machine.

PAZ: Oh perfect.

LIZ: Yay.

JULIAN: And you can see many of the images, although not the big header.

PAZ: Perfect.

LIZ: There's gotta be someone with that saved on like some external hard drive.

JULIAN: Our affiliate link is like a little cat running across the-- there's a lot of gifs.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: It is all in Papyrus font.

LIZ: Of course.

JULIAN: Great news for everyone.

LIZ: Listen, Papyrus is where it was at. I definitely used it for just like school reports, as a middle schooler, because who's gonna stop you?

ALIX: I remember doing it as well.

PAZ: Yeah. Well, Julian, I'd be interested to see if you could find any posts of yours in the Wayback Machine.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: But that'd be like--

JULIAN: I think that's probably--

PAZ: A project for the future.

JULIAN: A project because it'll take me a little bit to navigate this. But yes, I'll try to see if I can find my death post when I killed off my character.

LIZ: Oh my god.

ALIX: Oh my god.

PAZ: Oh please.

JULIAN: Cause it was very dramatic.

LIZ: Um, can we just read a few of the names on your old site?

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

ALIX: Oh my god, sorry.

LIZ: Because they're really good. Just in the current cat section, just to pick a few out, there's Vengeancestone, Diamondpaw, Pookystar, Saberkit, Rainbowkit, and separately, Rippedkit and Ripplekit.

JULIAN: Oh, great news. I forgot that in WindClan, we do have a Suepaw. So Susan, Susanclaw.

PAZ: Wow.

ALIX: Wow.

LIZ: There's also just a Garfunkel, which is perfect.

ALIX: Oh yeah, Garfunkel.

JULIAN: Oh, I forgot about Garfunk-- wait,, which clan is Garfunkel in? I don't remember Garfunkel.

LIZ: Uh, WindClan.

PAZ: Garfunkel.

ALIX: Kushaclaw?

LIZ: Suepaw.

ALIX: Wow.

PAZ: Others: Loner, Amberfeather (go Amby!)

JULIAN: That was my best friend.

ALIX: Aw.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: She used to be the leader of RiverClan but then decided to become a loner.

ALIX: [gasp] The drama.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: Wait. There's a loner called Mirage. Shout outs to Emily.

ALIX: Oh my gosh. Mirage is here.

PAZ: Wow, Mirage Apex Legends.

LIZ: Oh, and the very last name in this whole entire list is Cody.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: God bless.

JULIAN: Cody was like a rando who just really badly wanted to play a kittypet. And it's like, well, I mean, you can if you want to, but...

LIZ: I respect that. You've got to have some different perspectives in here.

JULIAN: I think you would have really gotten along with Cody because Cody's whole shtick when role playing was that they would just like pop into RPs and be like, hey, you should all come be kittypets with me.

ALIX: Y'all heard of medicine?

LIZ: Do you want to get vaccinated? Do you not want to have ticks? Well, have I got the lifestyle for you.

JULIAN: Yep.

LIZ: Anyway, thank you for this. These beautiful links.

ALIX: They're really incredible.

LIZ: And this beautiful image. And this beautiful question.

JULIAN: Yeah, thank you so much, Nat.

PAZ: Yeah. And I hope we can dive into the Proboards experience more in the future.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: But Alix brought us something very special as well, speaking of the distant Warriors past.

ALIX: Yes. So I've basically had access to the same email account since I was nine, ten years old. So I found an email exchange between my middle school best friend and me about Warrior Cats. So I linked a Google doc. And if somebody wants to be my best friend from middle school, I will be me, and we can read this little exchange

JULIAN: Yeah, I'm happy to do it.

ALIX: Okay. All right, obviously don't doxx her.

JULIAN: Right, of course.

ALIX: So, "Dear Rainface. I got Warriors Field Guide, Secrets of the Clans, and it includes, ta-da! the story of how the clans started. Here is a summary. Many minutes ago, there were only cats who lived in small groups. They fought for no reason at all. It was a lawless, bloodly time for the forest.

One night, they agreed to meet at Fourtrees and talk. They ended up having a battle. Many cats died. The living ones slept at Fourtrees. When they woke up, they saw the slain cats as starry cats/StarClan. 'Unite or die,' said StarClan. Four cats wanted to lead the cats, a black female, Shadow, a silver gray tom with green eyes, River, a wiry brown she-cat, Wind, and a ginger tom with amber eyes, Thunder.

A dispute broke out. Suddenly, 'Silence!' a StarClan tabby yowled. She told them to find cats like them. For Shadow, night hunters, for River, water-loving cats, for Wind, fast runners, and for Thunder, strong hunters. 'If you do this,' said a white tom, 'we will reward you with eight extra lives that you may lead your clans many moons.' A tortoiseshell said, 'we will watch over you from Silverpelt and visit you in dreams.' The white tom declared the full moon truce. The tabby yowled from the great rock, 'you will be warriors.' All the cats agreed. And so began the age of the Warrior Cats." I just want to say that I did write this summary.

PAZ: It's so good.

LIZ: It's beautiful.

ALIX: And I put an ellipsis, then "isn't that scarily like A Place Before StarClan by us, with the white tom and everything? Let me know. Bye! Hawkear."

JULIAN: "It is. But there is no Moonstone coming down to earth or little cats blowing off to the north, south, east or west. Their version is way too boring."

ALIX: "There is a Moonstone story that I will tell you later. But I admit it is a little boring."

JULIAN: "Okay."

ALIX: "We talked about it."

JULIAN: "Oh. Yeah."

ALIX: "Please give back the books if you are done. I need Harry Potter Seven Guesses book before it comes out."

JULIAN: "Sorry I couldn't give it back to you sooner."

ALIX: "'S okay." Spelled S, apostrophe, okay.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: "Good."

ALIX: Then I said, "Hey, now I suppose there was a Sky too?" End exchange.

PAZ: Beautiful.

JULIAN: I love that in 2007 it was totally fine to send a one-word email.

ALIX: Yeah.

PAZ: This is-- I did not email my friends like this. This is fascinating.

ALIX: You know, I would have said that I didn't either, but apparently I did.

JULIAN: I super did, so

PAZ: I love your summary so much.

LIZ: It's so good.

PAZ: "It was a lawless, bloodly time for the forest."

ALIX: I do love "bloodly."

LIZ: That's innovation.

ALIX: I do think this is the canonical lore. But also like, I love that I just sent it up in such a like-- it's like a vaguely poetic way. But I'm just like, "they ended up having a battle." Absolutely no reason why.

PAZ: I love that you were like, so this is the official thing. We did it first and way better.

ALIX: It's a really, really powerful energy.

JULIAN: Oh, to have the sheer confidence of like an 11 year old hyped up on Warrior Cats.

PAZ: Oh, right?

LIZ: That's the confidence you need to send a one word email.

ALIX: Yeah.

JULIAN: That just says "good."

ALIX: I feel like I'm putting way more energy into this exchange than my friend. I'm writing paragraphs. And she's like, good, thanks.

JULIAN: Yeah, I tried to bring as much to the role as I could, but I didn't have a lot to work with.

ALIX: Thank you, you did a great job. Also, wait. Sorry, I just realized the difference-- how much time was between these different messages, because I sent that "'s okay" one on July 31, 2007, and she responded, "good," on August 14, 2007.

PAZ: That's about the rate at which I reply to emails.

ALIX: Yeah, there's five days between almost all of these emails.

LIZ: God, if this was now, it'd be like, hey, just checking in for an update. Have you had a chance to look at my Warrior Cats summary yet? Okay. Let me know. Thanks again. Bye.

JULIAN: Just wanted to touch base on this. Do you have any thoughts?

ALIX: Circling back on this. Isn't our fanfiction better?

LIZ: Best wishes.

ALIX: I hope this email finds you well.

JULIAN: Let me know if you have any questions.

LIZ: Hope to hear from you soon.

JULIAN: Email was a mistake actually. Except for this, this is the only valid use for email.

LIZ: We should have never moved on from this.

ALIX: Thank you so much for letting me read this.

JULIAN: Thank you for sharing it with us.

ALIX: It amused me very much when I found it.

PAZ: It's very good. Thank you. That's kind of what we got-- what we have to bring to the table today. I don't know. I think we did a good, like retrospective talk. Oh, okay. I know what I wanted to do. Liz?

LIZ: Yeah?

PAZ: Would you like to give us your prophecy for the next book?

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yeees.

ALIX: Yes [clapping].

PAZ: What do you think will happen?

LIZ: Um, they're going to almost get Tigerclaw. But he's going to get away at the last minute, I think at the end of the book. And sorry, did I say Tigerclaw? I did, right?

ALIX: Yeah.

LIZ: All right. And Fireheart is going to be like, rats, if only I had not been wracked with indecision, and also just brainlessness because I'm a dumb little cat. So he's going to have that kind of like, you know, Hamlet hubris moment. And he's gonna get a promotion. Maybe they'll have different jobs now.

You might see more of the other apprentices. Graystripe will develop a personality. I say that with affection. Because there's going to be less exposition to give, I think. They are going to have a fun little jaunt into the barn while they're on a patrol or something. And they're going to see their good friend Ravenpaw. And he's going to be fine with his new boyfriend.

Bluestar is going to have like-- there's gonna be a subplot with Bluestar. She's gonna be like, oh, I'm getting so old, I need to start thinking about me. Like, what have I done for myself? All these years and I don't even know myself. And that is like her slice of life older person romance plot with Yellowfang, who's like re entering the workforce as an older medicine cat. Yeah, that's pretty much my prediction.

JULIAN: I would watch this drama.

ALIX: I love this so much.

JULIAN: Bluestar's self care journey.

ALIX: I love how hard you're manifesting that Ravenpaw is okay.

LIZ: Yeah. He is. I don't know what you mean.

PAZ: The aggression in your voice. Thank you so much. I'm excited to see if your prophecy comes true. Well, that was it for Into the Wild. We're done with it. And now we're moving on to Fire and Ice next week. Very excited.

ALIX: I'm so excited to listen.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

LIZ: I've had the book on Libby for like a few days now. And I'm like, chomping at the bit to get into it.

PAZ: Now is the time.

JULIAN: Oh, Alix, do you have anything you want to plug?

ALIX: Yeah, I have two podcasts, Hot Taking It, where I watch classic MTV sitcom Faking It, which is about high school lesbians fake dating. And also a podcast that I finished, I guess, although it's kind of ongoing, which is Across the Loonaverse, which is explaining Loona lore. Julian was on that at one point, so if you're a fan of Julian--

JULIAN: Oh, I was. I forgot.

ALIX: --you can go listen to that. And then that will pretty soon be replaced by a Riverdale podcast where I can talk about KJ Apa some more, although not in the role of Fireheart. Yeah, Across the Loonaverse, and Hot Taking It, which I think you can find if you go to my Twitter, which is @kismetnemesis, and then I have them linked. Probably the easiest way to do it.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

PAZ: And as a reminder, you can find our show @staircast on Twitter. And if you want to send in any questions or anecdotes like the ones we read today, you can send them into [email protected]. And we'll check those periodically.

LIZ: Yeah, I want to thank everyone again, for the really good questions. They're just, they're very cute and sweet. And I had a good time listening and reading them.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really nice to hear what this series means to other people.

PAZ: Mm hmm. Yeah. And I am just having a blast revisiting it. So thank you, everyone who's doing it with us as well.

ALIX: Yeah, thank you so much for letting me be on the show and also making the show so that I can listen to it. It's genuinely like the highlight of my week. Like every Sunday, I'm like, Alright, it's time to listen to Staircast.

PAZ: Thank you.

JULIAN: Aw, Alix.

LIZ: Thank you for coming on because you're, one, a seasoned podcaster, and also per the rules of the Clan, the new podcast host, so it's in your hands now.

ALIX: Yeah, um, although I think next week I might be busy, if you guys could just be interim hosts for a little while.

LIZ: Yeah, of course.

PAZ: Okay, yeah. We'll figure it out.

JULIAN: We'll be podcast deputies.

ALIX: Oh yes. And if I die, you all have to fight it out.

LIZ: Who has to wait for that? Listen. You've read about Tigerclaw. He's doing fine for himself.

PAZ: Well, uh, I think that's gonna do it for us this week. Tune in next week for Fire and Ice and until then, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

ALIX: B-bye?

LIZ: I'm never sure if I should do that one with you guys.

PAZ: Yeah. I keep it in.

[outro music]

PAZ: Okay, let me put away these covers.

ALIX: These childish things.

JULIAN: No, we're taking out childish things

PAZ: Oh, whoa, it got translated into Latvian. Wild.

ALIX: Only two books, though, so they don't get to know the whole plot.

PAZ: No, Latvian at least got to The Darkest Hour, so three books.

#into the wild ep #ep 07 #a lawless bloodly time #transcript

1 note · View note