I can't stop thinking abt this and I NEED to tell someone abt it, I'm cackling so bad XDD:
Akaza, Muzan, Kyo and Tengen when their S/o SLAPS. THEIR. ASS. HARD with no warning, like, not even in a sexy way, they just stared at their booty, got a brain fart and did it XDDD
LMAO. ðð Ty for this gem. ðð
Author's Note: originally intended for these to only be, like, a sentence long. ð
when you slap their ass â akaza, enmu, muzan, kyojuro, tengen
Akaza x Reader, Enmu x Reader, Muzan x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader
Word Count: ~400
CW: dark humor, mild sexual content
~faqs~
AKAZA
confused ð€šð€šð€š
Cheeks? Clenched ð³
Lowkey blushing ð€
Would def shoot you a warning scowl if you did it in public ð
Akazaâs only a lil shy ð«
But in private?
11/10 heâs chasing you until heâs gotten revenge
Revenge = Your Ass in His Hands ð€
For gentle kneading, ofc ðð
ENMU
LOVES IT ð¥Ž
Teehee Hee vibes, y'know? ð€
"Oh darling, I didn't know you had it in you!" ð
Meanwhile you're just fed up w/ him ð
"You weren't supposed to like it."
"Oh but I did." ð
*facepalm*
You might have to try using a spray bottle next
Bc apparently someone likes spanking a lil too much ð
MUZAN
Donât mind me
But my first thought?
Assuming youâre a demon, Muzanâs 100% slicing away your hands ð¬
Dw, they regenerate in like, 5 secs ð
And yanno⊠the fact that he just bashfully sliced off your hands vs straight up k*lling you? ð§
⊠Iâd say he liked it ð
Not that heâd ever admit it
âDo NOT slap my ass again.â ð¿
Please slap my ass again ð
Another confused man ð
âSweetheart⊠did I, anger you?â ð¥º
Tell him, âNo Kyo, but your ass is so FAT.â ðð€
And heâs likely to malfunction ð
âMy⊠ass?â ð¥º
âHow do you even slay demons w/ that thing ?????â
And then, out of nowhere, heâs like, âI sit on them and suffocate them w/ my huge dumpy.â ð
Actually tho, heâd prob laugh (heâs still confused lol, but a good sport âºïž), totally blushing as he murmurs, âWell if you like it so much, then I suppose it is all yours.â
#what a gentleman â€ïžâð¥
Uhh
This man does NOT need his ego inflated any further ð
But go ahead ð€ª
âHow flashy of you!â he gasps, âBut I bet I can get a better sound smacking yours.â ð¥°
And then heâs lovingly bending you over his knee and smacking your ass
âHmm, you hear how lovely that sounds?â
Does it turn into an ass smacking competition?
Yeah
Nothing like getting to bend him over your knee next ð
Skz maknae line react to you falling asleep on them
This is pt 2 of the falling asleep on them reaction because I've let it marinate in my head for a few days and decided its time to be productive againð
Hyung line
Tumblr deleted half of this draft so i had to rewrite itð
Sorry this is shorter than the hyung line;-; i kinda took all the good ideas for that one
Warnings: Bad grammar, mild cursing, alexa makes an appearance, Minsung is mentioned, hot coco
Han
*cracks knuckles*
I know everybody says he's shy-
BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
poor boy is flustered constantly
He would probably just be laying around doing nothing
Like me
And you would be ð¥pRoDuCtIvEâš
Realises i used a croissant instead of a sparkle
*insert surprised pikachu face*
Anyways
Doing chores, working, living, etc.
Ya know, hard things
Is what you would be doing
But say you didn't get much sleep the night before
So there's basically a zombie casually doing things around the house
When you come over and sit on his lap
Boi is sweating
Profusely
He's worried that he'll wake you up if he breathes too much
So he just kinda sits there all stiff
Untill you snore
And he's like
ððð
Oh
Your asleep
And THEN he cuddles you
Because at this point he's decided that if you wake up he's just going to cuddle you right back to sleep
He would turn the TV volume down if he was watching something so he wouldn't wake you up
...
WHO WANTS A JISUNG TO CUDDLE THEM BACK TO SLEEP?
Stays: *raise their hands in unison*
He would play with your hair
You cant tell me he wouldnt
If you wake up he probably wouldn't even noticeð
He would just be staring off into space playing with your hair
Oh
He's also squishy
ð
Felix
Sunshine boi right here
Lets make that literal
And by literal i mean he's hot
Temperature wise i mean he's warm
ð
Anyways~
Its winter
And the two of you are taking a romp through the aesthetic snowy forest
But you know how walking through snow is exhausting
And your overheating in your snowgear
And the sun is blinding
*remembers winter is my favorite season*
Yeah...
So when you get back home your basically running on the thought of sleep
And the house is warm
And Felix is warm
*melts*
When you sit on his lap you do just that and fall asleep as soon as your comfortable
He would wrap you in a blanket like a lil burritoð¥º
If you wake up he makes hot chocolate for you
But when he comes back with it he scares the shit out of you
Because you were already falling back asleep
Once you finish your drink you go back to sleeping
He would probably fall asleep tooðð
Seungmin
*inhales*
He claims he hates it
But if you try to not sleep on his lap and hes near you
 (à¹â¢Ìã â¢Ìà¹)Â
#offended
Will literally drag you on to his lap
Lets say you just came home from a long trip without him
But when you came home he wasn't there
So you fell asleep waiting for him
And when he does come home he sees you
Takes a second to admire you
And pulls you on to his lap
You wake up and just
?
Oh its you
And fall right back asleep
He holds your waist
Or just puts his arms around your waist and holds you
Colour me delulu and lost, but I love how these 2 passages between 2 endgame couples from TOG and CC who CHOSE each other as mates follow it with
"I thought it was obvious" ð
and how both scenes parallel with Elriel - which is by now more than obvious who the next Maas-novel will be about ð
Does that perhaps hint and mean more than intended, Sarah? ð
Funny how, in all 3 scenes they all were about to do "something" but suddenly can't go through with it right there...
Lorcan and Elide (EoS, ch. 60)
Probably don't mean much in context, but the same exact wording is also found in Elain and Azriel's very first interaction btw ð (ACoMaF, Ch. 24)
But just Who was Azriel willing to offer up his life for? Read 'A Court of Wings and Ruin', Ch. 64-65 ð And in ACoSF, ch. 22...
... where in the very next page, Az says...
But, reading further, What (and Who) does Azriel really and actually want?
Bryce and Hunt's scene in HoSaB, ch. 17 has wordings that parallel well and has the same energy as Az's BC during Solstice in ACoSF where we find out exactly What and Who Azriel wants.
And it's pretty obvious who Elain wants - and she herself knows it too.
Another fun parallel is that Bryce is formally engaged to Cormac; while Lorcan is bound by the Blood Oath to Maeve at the time in both scenes - just like Elain formerly was with Graysen and then bound through the Mating Bond with Lucien - which were all the reasons why they couldn't do what they wanted to... Yet. ð
Yet, will you look at that... Elorcan and Quinlar were endgame.
Through âšïžFree Will. Choice. True Love.âšïž
I can't wait for Elriel to both finally figure it out and prove the Cauldron and "the forces that be" wrong and trump any predestined mating bond ð
ð¥ð«ð¥šð¥ðð¥ïžð
*this has been in my drafts for a month while re-reading, and I haven't finished HoFaS yet, but pretty sure it still applies well ð
I'm rereading surrender again (bc it's just so gosh darn amazing and i love it!!!), and the brief mention of melon bread in chapter 2 made me go "hang on, what exactly *is* melon bread??"
So since, as of two weeks ago, i'm now living in Japan, i went to my local grocery store, and happily walked out with a bag of plain and choco chip melon pan. And it was so good?? So i hope Haru enjoyed his melon bread as much as i did (if Weeds actually remembered to give it to him haha), and also thank you for opening my eyes to this scrumptious pastry through your work!!
Wishing you a wonderful day filled with a hundred little joysðâš
melon bread. 𥹠i remember being a kid and encountering it in anime for the first time and just assuming for years it was melon-flavoured lmao. which to be fair, probably isnât that far-fetched of an assumption given the prevalence of melon-flavoured things over there? ð§ but anywaysâaw anon. youâre kind to say. 𥺠congrats on the move!!! thatâs incredibleâand a big thing to do. 𥺠so may it feel like home quickly. ðð ð· and may you always be a short distance from melon pan. ððð
In the next 6ïžâ£9ïžâ£ SECONDS ðð SEND THIS ð² to ð of ur NASTIEST FALL FREAKS ð€ªððŠðððœðð€ If u get ð back ð your a JUICY TURKEY SLORE ðððŠð€€ðŠ Get 5ïžâ£ð back and ur a Bred Roll Bitch ððð BUT IF U GET 0ïžâ£ BACK your a dry turkey hoeðµð€¢ððª and u wont get ANY DISCUNTS ðžðž on BLACK Cð ŸïžCK-DAYâŒïžð€ððð°ð°ðµð²ðºð±âïžð«
beemovieerotica, i am honored to receive your gift of the seasons.
Oh my gosh, I was tagged by so many sweet ones, @ofmd-ann, @livwifeofkarl, @harrylovesspaezle, and @peanutbutterex ð Thanks!
ð What toast are you? ð
Listen, I may not relate with everything on here, but I will just echo my wise friend @peanutbutterex who got the same result and just be deeply honored by being assigned one of the most delicious foods on earth. ðð§
Zero pressure tagging! @agaywithcoffee, @i-amusemyself, @coralbeech, @beautitudes and any one else who sees this and wonders what type of toast they are........