#((About time this got out of my drafts. Jeez-))

[ask-a-cat-and-her-hedgehogs]

Cuddles (Comfort writing)

"Hey Xeno, I'm back!"

Julie the Cat called out from across the room, just coming home as she gently shut the door behind her. Suddenly, a dark blue blur with purplish pink tips raced up to her and quickly wrapped it's arms around her, which made her jump back at first. It was Xenophanes himself.

"AH! Woah-- H-Hey Xeno, are you...alright?"

There was no answer. He was breathing heavily and hugged her even tighter. The crystalline beast let out a low growl and picked Julie up, still hugging her close as he went over and laid her down on the couch, getting right on top of her and pressing his fuzzy and scarred chest against her small flat one. Her tiny and fast heartbeats can be heard, and so can his big and slow ones. They were both breathing extremely close to eachother, making the female Mobian cat blush as she felt his warm breath. Oh what a simp she was.

"X-Xeno...what is this abo--"

"Never...leave me, again..."

He growled out. There was also a pinch of sadness in his voice, like he was...crying.

"I-- Xeno, are you...crying...?"

She asked with genuine concern in her voice. He didn't say anything and just hugged her closer, cuddling her and giving bites on her neck.

"I won't let you go..."

"I...love you too, Xeno."

#The Floofy and Silly Cat Creator // Julie the Cat/My SonicSona #I am GOD // Xenophanes #When Nobody Else is Around // muse interaction/crack #((I dunno. I was bored I guess.... :] )) #((About time this got out of my drafts. Jeez-)) #((It's short but hey! After 2 months just sitting in my drafts I finally finished it today all in one shot.))

[thepastdied]

hi! i was wondering if i could have something with virgin!eddie cumming in his pants or too early and he’s whimpering and whining about it but reader lets him know that she finds it hot? thank you in advance if you do it! if not then thank you for letting me ask at least 😊

Yes, yes- and yes. Of fucking COURSE. This is actually one of the drafts I started!! I love this request 💕

18 + MDNI SMUT

virgin!eddie munson x cheerleader!reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

You'd kissed before. Once. It was only several seconds, and he was so awkward and sweet that it made you fall harder for him. You thought that maybe he'd ask you out after that, but sadly, he's been acting all weird and shy around you since. He was still his goofy self, but whenever you stood too close, he would clam up and make up a dumb excuse as to why he had to go. 

"Welp- gotta go see my friend John." He'd blurt before clumsily throwing himself into the boys bathroom.

You'd been relentlessly flirting with him for the last week. Week and a half? You lost count. You began upping up the amp a little more each day until he got red in the face and it made you go nuts.

Eddie was at his locker, scratching his nose as he quizzically looked around his basically empty locker.

"I swear it was in here- Jesus fucking Christ!" His back hit the wall as he gripped his chest, eyes wild as he finally noticed you'd been standing just a foot behind him.

"Jeez, you're on edge." You snorted at him.

He swallowed and lightly shrugged before slamming his locker shut and spitting his hair from his lips.

"Don't you have somewhere to be, sweetheart?" His eyes left yours and landed on the obnoxiously loud group of jocks that were trotting down the hallway, all hyped up and ready for the game.

Yeah, in your pants.

"Miss you, Eddie.." You stepped forward once the hallway was cleared and gripped his vest, pulling him closer. A whimper bubbled in his throat.

"Y..you miss me?" Eddie blinked a few times, mouth slightly agape when you took your bottom lip in between your teeth and nodded.

You harshly pulled him from the locker and just a short way down the hall, stopping in front of the janitor's closet and ripping the door open.

"Holy shit you're strong- Oh my god, what are you doing?" He stumbled into the closet and held his hands up as you took your hair out of your ponytail sexily. "Okay- You look like you want to chew me up and spit me out-"

"Eddie." You snapped.

"What.." He breathed, licking his lips as he watched you do the same and letting his shoulders slump down.

"Shut up." You stalked toward him and smirked as he dumbly nodded, placing his hands on your hips as you wrapped yours around his neck and pulling him down.

Eddie's eyes warmly looked into yours, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

"You're really pret-" He mumbled but was cut off as his nose touched yours when you pushed yourself onto your toes.

Your fingers dug into the nape of his neck as you crashed your lips into his. It was harsh yet still sweet, your tongue sliding across his bottom lip before biting down. He made a noise that you'd never imagine he could make and pulled your hips tightly against his and, fuck, he was hard. You wanted to hear that noise again.

You pulled away from him, moving your head back slightly and tutting when he chased your lips. Your hands slid down his body, feeling his heart hammer when they moved over his chest and body shiver when they met his torso and pelvis. Your fingers brushed against his hard on through his tight jeans before palming him firmly. Eddie's hand shot out to grab onto a shelf, taking a few steps backward to lean against the wall. You stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his neck, sucking and nibbling there as he moaned and panted, snaking a hand up your side and toward your breasts. 

"You're so hard, Eddie. All I did was kiss you." You laughed and shook your head, placing messy kisses up his neck and along his jaw, his rough stubble scraping against your lips.

"You wanna touch me?" You raised your brows as you looked into his glazed eyes.

"Y-yeah.. right here.." He somehow managed to muster, eyes darting to your boobs that were covered by your cheer uniform. "-please."

"Since you're such a good boy and answered without hesitation, of course. But you need to take my top off." You smirked up at him, another challenge.

Eddie audibly gulped as he pursed his lips. His hands were sweaty and fingers nimble. He'd thought about you touching him so, so many times. Having you whimper as he groped all over your body, chanting his name as you fucked yourself on his cock and he gave you praises. But when it came to actually being close to you, his flight response kicked in. You made him so nervous he wanted to throw up, but this was his opportunity to give it to you the way he wanted, the way you deserved. Hard. Messy. Deep.

But there was one very, very big problem.

He was a virgin and had no idea where to start.

You were completely overpowering him and it wasn't going how he imagined, but he was absolutely loving it nonetheless.

He took a deep breath through his nose and balled the hem of your uniform in his hands before swiftly pulling it over your head, grabbing onto your bare waist and pulling you flush against him.

That tiny spark of confidence quickly faded, but he mentally applauded himself for his brave action and for pulling out a shocked reaction from you. 

"What.. what now?" He cleared his throat when it cracked and glued his eyes to the pale pink bra you wore, the lace embellishments looking so delicate against your soft skin.

"Wow, Munson. I knew you had it in you." You palmed him harder. "Touch me."

"Fuck.. thank you." He whispered, groping his hands on the underside of your breasts, rubbing his thumb over where your nipples were under the fabric and feeling them harden.

He watched as the swell of your breasts puffed up as he squeezed, sighing at the sight and leaning down to kiss at the stretch marks on the top of your breasts.

You removed your hand from his crotch and tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him more into you and humming when he trailed his lips up to your collarbone, sucking the skin there and leaving a couple marks right where your skin is exposed when wearing your uniform. He grunted when you tugged and pulled away, slapping his hand on the back of your thigh just below your ass and lifting your leg up. You jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist. Eddie's nails bit harshly into your thighs as you pulled him tighter, his back up against the dusty and grimy wall of the janitor's closet.

"S-shit." He hissed when you set your pussy harder into his dick, grinding yourself against him and moaning as you threw your head back, your juices soaking through your panties and leaving a patch on his jeans. His grip got more harsh and he shut his eyes tightly when he looked down and noticed.

"Eddie! You're leaving marks-"

"Well l-let them see, then. Will… oh fuck… will s-show them you're taken." He splayed his hands over the crescents left behind from his nails.

He stepped toward the small table and set you down, roughly and feverntly grinding his hips into yours, whimpering as he watched where your bodies met.

"Want you inside me, Eddie."

"Want me to f-fill you up, huh? I can… I can do that-" He choked and stiffened, eyes wide.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck wait stop-" He whimpered, panting and begging for you to stop your movements. 

A guttural moan erupted from his chest, his body falling forward onto yours as he bucked against you and muffled his moan against your breast. He made that noise from earlier and it almost made you cum, your legs slightly shaking. There was a moment of silence before he pushed himself off you, guilt and shame apparent on his face.

"God, I really ruined it, didn't I? I'm so sorry- I'll- I'll do better next time, I swear. If you don't wanna do it again, though, I totally get it, this is horrible. Shit, I'm such a loser. It's so pathetic-"

"Eddie."

"What."

"Shut up."

He pouted and hung his head down and looked at the large wet stain on his black jeans, huffing and shaking his head in disappointment. He continued to chastise himself and kicked at nonexistent dirt on the floor.

"Could have made you feel real good, y'know? And it's my first time doin' stuff. I didn't get to... fill you up.." He sighed and looked at you sadly as he whined.

You reached your hands out to him, pulling him to stand in between your open legs.

"That.. was so fucking hot." You grabbed his cheeks so he could look at you, his eyes lighting up in surprise "Like, it almost made me cum, Eddie." 

"Really..?" He gaped.

"Alriiiiiight, Tiiiiiiigerrrrrrrrs! The game will start in 8 minutes! Head down to the gymnasium!" Prinicple Higgin's voice boomed from the intercom and echoed throughout the hallways. 

Eddie gritted his teeth and quickly placed his hands on your knees and spread your legs, attaching his mouth to your clothed pussy and sloppily mouthing at it.

"Oh… oh my God." Your hands found his hair as you gasped loudly in surprise and pleasure. 

"Fuck, you taste good." He palmed himself and felt his dick slightly harden again.

"Last call! 5 minutes everyone!!"

Eddie clumsily unbluckled his belt and pressed his cum soaked boxers against your core.

"Five-" He thrust against you "fucking-" harder this time "minutes?!" Seconds later you comvulsed at the wet sensation, a high pitched moan following your fast pants.

"You.. you came?" He slowed his movements as he came to a stop.

You gave him a lazy nod in response, only having a minute to collect yourself before you had to run down the hall for cheer.

"Woah.. that was hot." He chuckled and grabbed a roll of paper towels, wiping up whatever he could and handing you your shirt before untucking his own to cover the stain on his pants.

"Come over tonight." You softly demanded as you pulled your shirt on and quickly put your hair back into a ponytail. You placed two hands on his chest and looked up at him with pleading eyes. "After Hellfire, of course." 

Eddie gave you a wide grin and nodded.

"Of course, baby." 

You bit your lip at the pet name, pulling him into a firm kiss before you peeked your head out from the closet, looking at the empty hallways. 

You both stepped out and looked at eachother.

"Ew, a freak, get away from me." You jokingly teased as you started trotting down the hall, blowing him a kiss.

"Ew, a cock hungry slut, get away from me." He flipped you off before catching your kiss and holding it to his chest, stumbling backward and grinning as you gave him one last wave and disapeared around the corner.

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #virgin!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x cheerleader!reader #virgin!eddie munson x reader #eddie smut #eddie thots

[webslingingslasher]

i’m seated for some sneak peaks of things you have in the drafts hehe

here's a blurb for munch frat!peter:

'hand this card to the last person to eat pussy.'

tarrent has a gleam in his eye as he proudly pushes it into peter's chest. 'drink up, bro.'

you're not watching, the content of your cup is more interesting. but you're listening to see exactly how peter plays this one off because he hasn't even tried- let alone offered to go down on you.

peter hands the card back. 'nah, i don't do that.' he says it like it's a joke and his friends laugh with him, like he's too humble to accept the crown title of carpet muncher.

---

here's a blurb for hockey!peter fighting for his life over a jersey

'hey, can i have a kiss?' the audacity. you cross your arms again and look to the side, 'no.' peter frowns, you lean away when you feel his lips on your cheek.

'no? not even after i just won?'

'you didn't deserve it.' you grumble it from the side of your mouth, peter catches it and feels offended. 'don't get pouty and tell me i deserved to lose.'

you turn to him, your eyes screamed fire at him. 'don't humilate me and demand a kiss then.'

---

here's a blurb for cherry!peter who's doing the best he can to make cherry's sex dream come to life

'i've been so good, haven't i been so good for you?' peter can sense a little bit of a praise kink in you, it's fitting. 'you're always good for me. you're my good girl, aren't you?'

a whimper, it's so much better when it's real. 'i'm your good girl.' a harsh grind, you clutch peter's forearm while you throw your head back. 'yeah? that feels good?'

'call me your pretty baby.' peter doesn't know where the direction is coming from but he likes it. 'does my pretty baby feel good?' an audible moan, he's fucking perfect at this.

---

here's a blurb for bf!frat!peter with a girlfriend who should always come first

peter is totally saving you for last and you're about to go nuts on him. sure, there might be a line of people and sure, you might be the one in the least danger but you're owed some sort of urgency.

'hello?' you call it out, you sound impatient. 'spider-man?' you are impatient. you call for him again, he holds up a hand and you gasp. 'oh you little- spider-man, you better come help me right now or i swear to god i'll...' you have no real threat. 'just don't tempt me!'

peter doesn't come help you, he's still helping an older woman and you're about to throw yourself into a fire for some attention. 'excuse me? i'm looking for my boyfriend, have you seen him?'

---

here's a blurb from that blurb... you know... the one where peter has hooked up with trouble's friend?

if peter was a brat, he'd say that you're not supposed to be talking to him. instead, he extends his hand out and watches heavy footing beat up the staircase. the second his door slams, his best friend is asking what the fuck happened with his eyes.

'she's mad at me.' his door swings open, you shout down to him. 'i'm not mad! we're broken up!' another slam. ethan's expecting a lot more from peter than a shrug. 'no we're not.'

his door hits the wall, another scream, 'yes we are!' a third slam, this time, he's got two friends coming out of their rooms and glancing between his bedroom door and the lower level where peter had crossed arms.

'what's going-' peter flails his arms around, trying to stop the impending question and what he knows is all you need to give him a round two, but worse because now you're no longer in public.

a sheepish grin crosses over a brother's face when his door explodes open, peter thinks there might be a hole behind his door where the handle matches up perfectly.

---

here's a blurb where ethan walks in on sexy time :(

'liar! he saw me from behind!' you know he did, it was all on show. everything's ruined. peter's trying his best to be soothing. 'hey, even if he did, he won't say anything. it's ethan, you know ethan.'

you do. that's why it's so bad. the reminder makes you cry harder, peter connects the dots. 'oh jeez, trouble. here, come give me a hug.' it's a pathetic reach, you want nothing more than to be locked away in his hold, hidden and secret from the outside world.

'he-' you suck in air, curling in even closer to peter as if you weren't on his lap already. 'he saw me having sex.' you pull peter's arms tighter around you, it almost hurts it's so tight. it's what you need.

'i know, baby. i'm so sorry.' at least he's being honest.

'how much did he see?' peter doesn't know either, he was a little busy underneath you. he just knows the second he saw his door open, his instinct was to protect you.

'very little.' you feel kisses over your head, 'please stop crying.'

---

here's a blurb where nerdy!peter has no filter when he's drunk

'hi, honey.' you hold his arm tightly, 'don't lean over.' bending at the waist you reach for the keys, peter groans and shouts an exaggerated 'oh my god!'

you fly up, the metal tucked between your fingers. 'what?' you look around, peter's busy staring down your skirt while his teeth sink into his bottom lip. 'your ass is so nice.'

you suck in a deep breath and ignore the flush of warmth covering your chest. 'thank you, petey.' you ignore the slight shake in your hand when you shove the key in.

peter's door gets stuck a lot and you have to shove your shoulder into it a little. while you're doing your best to raid the door, a hand slides up the back of your thigh and gives you a tight squeeze. you jump and yelp, your hand reaching back to throw his off.

'peter!' he giggles and turns his head like you wouldn't be able to see him anymore. 'i just wanted to touch it a little.' peter's fingertips lightly drag up your thigh, you slap it away again. he giggles harder, the sound bubbles out of him.

'i'm trying to get us inside, leave my butt alone.' you have his promise, and you nudge the door a little, a sharp smack has you wipping around to face him. peter shoots his hands up, 'last one, i promise! that was the last one!'

#just a tease.... #thanks anon!

[fluffansmut]

Eddie and crybaby!fairy!reader is back again for a part three!

This time featuring a special guest!

(Thanks for the idea, @hellfirefiend)

Part one & part two

You and Eddie was sat on the sofa, sharing a cookie, (with you picking crumbsized bits of his fingertips as he tenderly crumbled the cookie bit by bit for you), when there was a knock at the door…

You looked up at Eddie from your spot on the armrest, non verbally asking if he knew who it was…

”stay there baby” he said, and got up from the sofa to get the door.

You watched from your spot as the door flew open and how an excited voice instantly began chatting to Eddie, throwing his arms around him.

The stranger at the door spooked you a bit, cause you still were unsure about humans.. surely not all could be as kind as Eddie right?

You watched the two closely, hoping that the guy at the door would leave quickly, but when Eddie invited the guy into the trailer, your did what your instincts told you to.

You hid.

“Wait here a sec, imma have you meet someone but they need a minute” Eddie said.

But when he turned around to talk to you, you were gone, nothing but crumbs left at your spot on the armrest.

“Where did she go?” He muttered to himself, lifting a pillow, checking underneath it.

“Who?” You heard the guest ask.

“Okay, well, first off, can you promise me that you won’t freak out?”

“Eddie, your being weird… what’s going on?” The guest asked.

“Just promise okay?” Eddie insisted, whilst checking random hiding spots, trying to find you.

“Jeez, Kay I promise, you know I’ve seen a lot of weird shit, I’m sure I can handle it whatever pet you’ve adopted” he said.

“Well, uh, it’s not a pet, definitely not a pet…” Eddie began, scratching his neck. “It’s a.. she is a fairy”

“A what now?!”

“You promised you wouldn’t!” Eddie reminded.

The he guest paused for a second, before he glanced back at Eddie,

“So..a fairy?”

“Yes.” Eddie confirmed. “And she’s not super used to hanging out with humans, she has just about gotten used to Wayne… so my guess is that she’s hidden, and now we gotta find her.”

He agreed to help Eddie and they began turning over almost everything in search of you.

You watched them over the edge of the Garfield mug that you sat inside. They looked quite funny, as they rummaged around, just funny enough for you to let out a giggle.

The guest did react to it, but Eddie could recognise that sound anywhere.

“Hey Dustin? Could you check my desk? It’s a popular hiding spot..” Eddie lied, trying to get a moment alone with you.

Fortunately he agreed and stomped off towards the bedroom, and soon enough you felt the mug being lifted, and when you glanced up you saw a familiar face.

Eddie smiled down at you, instantly calming some of your nerves.

“Grew to nervous?” He guessed.

You nodded, shamefully admitting that you were.

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s okay, totally fine.” Eddie said, soothing your nerves. “It just my friend, he’s totally harmless, and he is looking forward to meeting you. Do you want to meet him?”

You pondered the question for a minute, but in the end you decided to trust Eddie and said.

“Okay, Eddie”

Eddie smiled down at you again, as he clutched the mug tenderly in both his hands.

“Hey Dustin! I found her” he called out, not taking his eyes of you.

The one who you now presumed was Dustin returned.

“Now, take it easy, she’s quite a shy little one.” He said, before holding out the mug and letting Dustin look down into it.

“Oh my god,” Dustin mumbled as you felt his gaze fall upon you. “This is awesome.”

You didn’t dare to look up at him, and instead stayed curled up in the mug.

Eddie could feel the apprehension and anxiety radiating off you, so he slipped his little finger into the mug. It took mere seconds until he felt you cling to it. He continued to talk to Dustin whilst he drafted a plan to get you to come out of your shell a bit more.

“Don’t you think you would’ve been more comfy in my hand, baby?” He asked.

“Yes please, Eddie” you said, taking him up on the suggestion instantly.

He plucked you out the mug by the wings and set you down in the palm of his hand, where you got to work with the activity you invented a couple of day before, spinning Eddies rings round his fingers. (Which was quite a task for someone your size)

The boys continued on with their conversation and you kind of zoned out.

“I know that I put an other dimensional monster in my tortious tank, but this, this is a new kind of weird.” Dustin said.

This made you look up, Eddie had promised that he was nice and now he called you weird…

You crossed your arms and huffed in his general direction.

“What’s got you all grumpy?” Eddie asked.

You didn’t answer, instead you shot Dustin a dirty look.

Eddie put the tip of his pointer finger under your chin, turning you to meet his eyes.

“I know you and somethings up, so can you please tell me so I can make it better?” Eddie asked.

You eyed Dustin who watched you in confusion and total awe, you didn’t want him to hear that the comment got to you. So instead of telling Eddie straight up you fluttered away and hid in the crook of Eddie’s neck.

“Sweetheart” Eddie said with a sigh.

Your eyes got all teary as you sat there clinging with both your arms around a strand of his hair.

“He called me weird” you mumbled.

“Oh, baby” Eddie said, picking you up, “ he didn’t mean it like that, right Dustin?”

You let your gaze slide between Eddie and Dustin.

There was some ruckus beneath that table and then Dustin exclaimed;

“Ow why did you kick …” he began before he made eye contact with Eddie, who lead his gaze to you. “I’m sorry, that true, it’s not you that’s weird, it’s the situation, you are truly the coolest thing I’ve ever seen”

You gave Eddie a look, as if to check if he was telling the truth, and when Eddie gave you a reassuring nod you smiled widely at Dustin.

“You should really come with Eddie to hellfire”Dustin suggested. “The others would go crazy”

“Now let’s take one thing at the time” Eddie said with a chuckle.

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson x female reader #crybaby!reader #eddie munson x fairy!reader #fairy!reader

[sunarots]

secret santa !

a part of the baby it's cold outside collab from @k0dzu1

pairing: katsuki bakugou x gn!reader

summary: katsuki had always denied his soft spot for you, until christmas comes and his present says otherwise...

word count: 0.8k

"we're gonna get caught!"

katsuki leans through the window and sighs, preparing to climb back into his dorm. "jeez, if you're so scared."

narrowing your eyes at him, you give him a nudge back out the window. "i'm not scared, i'm just saying," you deny, waiting until there's enough space for you to climb out after him. "is it... is it icy out there?"

katsuki breathes out through his nose, what you think is a laugh, and shakes his head. "it's grass. no, it's not icy."

you push yourself out of the window completely, the snow crunching beneath your boots. you pull the window shut so it's barely open, trying to make sure there would be as little of a draft as possible.

"see?"

you don't entertain him with a response, instead changing the subject. "so, where are we going?"

starting to walk, katsuki doesn't answer you directly. he gives a suspicious "you'll see" and leads you away from the dormitories and towards the trees behind the building. you hesitate before following him, glancing over your shoulder and considering going back inside. instead, you urge yourself after him, refusing to let him use this against you.

"hurry up, you're so slow," he calls back, pausing to let you catch up to him.

you hug you jacket closer to yourself, trudging through the thick layers of snow. "it's dark, i can't see," you defend yourself, taking cautious steps towards katsuki. his eyes roll at your reply, a hand outstretching. "what-"

"we'll never get there unless you hurry the fuck up, dumbass." he takes your hand in his, lightly pulling you forward and leading you over tree roots and towards an opening.

you stand still at the sight, overlooking the city lit by streetlights and the stars. thick layers of snow cover everything, the winter weather making it all the more beautiful. "wow."

katsuki doesn't say anything, tightening his hold on you and pulling you forward a little more to a snow-coated bench. he pauses, letting your hand go to remove his gloves. you don't question him, looking back to the city. there's nobody outside at this time in the morning, you and katsuki the only people in existence.

you're not startled by him using his quirk to melt the ice, calmly turning to watch as it melted and dried in only a minute. you sit before he does, shuffling into a comfortable position.

he sits beside you, his arm pressed against yours despite there being enough space to spread out. neither of you move, watching the city stand still.

"how did you find out about this place?" you finally ask, tearing your eyes away from the city to look at katsuki.

he doesn't meet your eyes, continuing to stare ahead. "i just did." he goes silent and waits, thinking over if he should continue. "and then i thought of you."

your eyes go wide as he faces you, cheeks reddening. you watch the heat of his breath shake in the night air. "me?"

"yeah. i thought you'd like it." his cheeks burn more than yours, realisation of his situation seeing in. "i mean-"

"i do like it," you tell him truthfully, heart beating faster. "do you think they'll know we're here?"

"no." katsuki shakes his head and smiles. "it's christmas eve. everyone's thinking about christmas, they won't care. and they won't find us here even if they did." he bows his head, fixing his gloves on his hands. his hands shake from the cold and the nerves.

"um... who did you get for secret santa?" you ask in an anxious attempt to break the silence. "i got mina and didn't know what to get her at first, but then i saw this super cute-"

"you." you stop talking, turning your head to the side.

"me?"

"this isn't your present," he quickly adds, looking at you in the corner of his eye. "it's back in my dorm, you'll get it tomorrow." he looks at you finally, then at his watch. he stands, holding a hand to you. "we better go back, though."

"already?"

katsuki's heart skips a beat when he hears the disappointment in your voice. he almost considers staying longer just for you, but shakes his head at the idea. "we can come back tomorrow when there's more time."

reluctantly, you trail after him with your hand in his. you kick the snow beneath your feet, slowing you both down in an attempt to savour your time together. katsuki looks over his shoulder at you, your eyes fixed on the path.

it's silent back to the dorms, katsuki being the first to speak when you both reach your room. "so..." you look up at him, waiting for him to continue. "what did you think?"

"it was really beautiful. thank you, i loved it."

katsuki smiles fondly at you, nodding his head. "good. i knew you would." he pushed open the window to your dorm for you to climb through, his hands falling to his sides.

you reluctantly climb through, turning around to face him. he stands still outside, staring at you. hesitating, you lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek. "goodnight, katsuki."

cheeks flushed red, katsuki grunts and nods his head. he wordlessly backs away with butterflies in his stomach.

#{❄️} baby it's cold outside #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo #bakugou x you #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugo x you #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #katsuki bakugou fluff #katsuki bakugo fluff #mha fluff #my hero x reader #my hero academia fluff #bnha fluff #bnha x reader

[radio-navlee]

Don’t Be Such a Jerk! (Draft)

Draft notes:

-Characters out of character

-NOT FINISHED PRODUCT!!

-outline of what future Fic will be about

-not my best work

-story line so far doesn’t make sense

-enjoy

(GIF goes here)

Lee: Jax

Ler: Ragatha

(summary here, hurt to comfort prompt)

(author note?)

WARNING!!!⚠️: TICKLE FIC!! self harm?(maybe)

Many people would describe their favorite lovable bunny rabbit as; jerk, asshole, annoying, and maybe even a dumb bunny. But Jax never saw himself as that, he saw himself as a rabbit who just knew what was really happening. The truth is, he just needs people to talk too.

Sure he finds it funny to pick on people to get a funny reaction here or there. But usually he’s just mad, mad that he can’t let anything out in fear of ruining the way people see him.

While strolling through the park outside the tent, Ragatha thought back right after their adventure. Caine did his speech, somebody made a comment, and everybody spilt up. Gangle went to her room, Pomni went exploring, Kinger went to find bugs or whatever, (Ragatha didn’t pay attention, she heard bugs and dipped) Zooble went back to their room as well, and Jax he… well… Ragatha forgot where he went, it was like he vanished as soon as they got back.

Strange, what a weird thing Jax would do. I don’t think Ragatha even remembers seeing him at Caine speech. As Ragatha connected the dots, trying to figure out why Jax was missing, she wondered father and father away from the tent. In the distance, she could see somebody huddled under a tree, laughing? No that’s not right, was it shaking? Anyways, she decided to get closer to see what it was about when she suddenly realized a familiar shape. Purple skin, bunny ears, pink overalls…. Is that Jax?

Jax on the other hand was not having such a great time. He tugged at his ears and had his knees up to his chest, he gulped air until he started coughing. He eyes watered with tears and lost in his own thoughts, he mumbled a mumble to himself only probably dogs could understand. His voice cracked with every groan he let out, and he was practically kicking up dirt with his feet.

With Ragatha getting closer he looked over to see a blue dressed red head coming closer, he ignored it until he heard

“JAX?” Shouted by Ragatha, causing him to snap back into reality. With Ragatha 3 feet in front of him now, he touched his face slowly whipping his tears, he regulated his breathing, and looked up.

“Jax? Are you ok?” The rag doll asked, holding out a hand. Jax looked mortified shaking his head.

“No, no, no… back up!” He insisted

“Jax I want to help!” Ragatha stepped closer

“Don’t come closer! I mean it!” Jax put his hands up to block her but it was no use as Ragatha sat infront of Jax.

“You wanna tell me what happened?”

“No! I mean- why am I talking to you!” Jax questioned

“Jax just open up!”

“I’m leaving!” Jax went to get up but-

“No Jax!” Ragatha grabbed and pulled his arm down. He sat cross cross Apple sauce infront of her

“Tell me what happened, I don’t think I would let my self brush this off!”

“Doll! Let me go it was nothing!” Jax furrowed his brows tugging at his arm

“Jax if you tell me what wrong I’ll leave you alone!”

“NO LET GO!”

Lord help Ragatha, she knew Jax was stubborn but jeez! Going back and forth with “Tell me!” And “No!”s Ragatha felt as she was just wasting time.

“You don’t understand!”

“I promise I will!” Finally, Jax opened up!

“I can’t believe I’m still talking to you!” Jax groaned

“Just spill!” Ragatha begged

“It’s stupid, but I… I- I can’t regulate my mind, my thoughts, everything I think get piled up in my brain, what little brain I have left and..” Jax voice cracked, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“It feels like I can’t think straight, all the things I say takes up so much effort to not come out in a jumbly mess, it’s so tiring..” Jax folded up his knees to his chest, laying his aching head against his knees and bringing his hands up to, again, tug on his ears.

“Jax, stop that!” Ragatha swatted at his fidgeting hands

“No, it feels good!” He raised his head back up to yell at her

“Jax the base of your ears are red! It looks like it hurts if anything!” Ragatha raised her hands from her lap to massage the base.

“..No!” Jax dodged the hands, putting his head back down into his knees. Letting out a soft cry, Ragatha stopped and pulled him into a hug.

Jax’s soft cry stopped, his eye widened,

“Stohop!” He cried

“No Jax”

“Please!”

“My answer is still a no!” God, has Jax never been hugged in his life? Why is he acting like this?

“Let me goho! (Inhale) let me go!” His cry’s stopped turning into a sob. Ragatha held his head close to her chest and used a free hand to pet his head

“Shhh, Jax I understand how you’re feeling, just let it out.” Ragatha soothed

“Phlehehease, (inhale) don’t treat me like this!” Jax was practically in broken pieces, sobbing, tugging on his pants, resisting the hug,

“Jax…” Ragatha whispered

Jax stoped complaining, now he was just sobbing

“It’s going to be ok!” Ragatha held his head and looked into his eyes,

“I don’t- I don’t wanna be like- (inhale) -like this! I wanna be normal! I don’t wanna cry!” Jax pleaded

“I know Jax, I know.”

“Mahake it stop!” Jax whined eventually just giving into the hug and leaning into the rag doll. Ragatha has never seen Jax so emotionally embarrassed in her life, she wished he wasn’t such a jerk the rest of the time.

“Jax there’s no need to feel embarrassed,”

“Nooo! Don’t tahalk!” Jax whined like a sad toddler

“Look Jax, now that I know you’re hurting, so I now empathize with you. I also can see right through you, Jax, you are probably only a jerk to others because you don’t want people to think you have feelings. Playing pranks and being mean to others just so you don’t expose yourself as emotionally immature.” Ragatha explained

“No! Please just stop talking! I don’t want to hear it!” Jax covered his ears with his hands and shut his eyes causing the remaining tears to fall from his face.

“Oh Jax,” Ragatha frowned, stroking the top of his head

Once Jax knew she wasn’t explaining his life decisions, he un cupped his ears and scratched at the red inflamed bases. Ragatha noticed this quickly and softly slapped at his hands,

“Jax’s I already told you to stop doing that!” Ragatha held his wrists

“Nggh! Let me- ugh! Let me do it!” Jax struggled against the grab

“Jax no you’re just hurting your self!” Ragatha said as she let go of Jax’s wrist and used her own hands to try to help Jax shake the fidgety feeling in his ears.

The sudden touch to his raw ears made Jax flinch a tad. Relaxing to the touch after a while until-

“Eh- Wahait!” Jax went to reach for the dolls hands and she moved up from her original spot

“What?”

“Doholl! Dohont change your spoAH!” Jax tweaked as Ragatha tested out new information and slightly tickled the tops of his ears

“ThahHAT wohorSE!!”

“Heh, you should laugh more Jax!” Ragatha said in amusement.

“Shuhut ihit!”

“Noho! Reheally! You have such a nice laugh, you need to use it more!” She chuckled

“GahaHAHa!!” Jax squirmed from compliments

Ragatha hummed above Jax watching his nose scrunch up every now and then, little barely noticeable snorts coming from it, as he hugged himself. With that the sun flipped with the moon and it was time for everyone to head back to the circus tent.

“Ohok ohok! Let’s go!” Jax giggled

“Jax…. Do you come here often?” Ragatha sighed

“What?”

“Is this your place to go to when you feel like what you felt earlier?”

“I’d rather not talk about that doll face,” Jax growled

“Jax, it’s just a question”

“I don’t need you to baby me!” Jax grumped, back to his usual self I see.

“whatever Jax, just know I’m here if you need to talk, ok?”

“Fine! Just don’t tell anybody about this!” He glared

“Your feelings are safe with me” Ragatha crossed her arms, as they both headed back to the tent.

(DRAFT! Which means they may be a little out of character🥲)

#tickle #tickles #sfw tickling community #tickle fluff #tickle fanfic #tadc tickle #tadc tickles #tadc tickling #lee!jax #ler!ragatha

[imagine-darksiders]

Hello! Hopefully caught you in a restful time. I just wanted to let you know that your writing is amazing! I neither knew what darksiders was nor cared until I stumbled onto your blog. I never played the games but the way you write the personalities of each person makes them feel alive! Like I'm talking to the people myself!

The way you write trauma is realistic and it pops up at random but amazingly along the flow that it feels both out of place and not! Reminding the reader that yes, this person is brave but they're still hurt and in no way in the optimum of sanity. Even though they're holding themselves together the way a realistic person does!

I got hooked! I never knew these characters and yet you made it so that I'll feel like I knew them all my life! I'm honestly itching to buy the game yet I'm scared that the creator of the game won't be able to reach your amazing characterizations.

Is the game truly that good? I'm a little scared to buy it then find that the game devolopers rushed it. If so, which game should I start with? Does it require a strong pc? X-box? I'm still unsure of using technology.

In all honesty, I'm trying to stop myself from writing a fanfic based on your fanfic. Though, it wouldn't be the same. I still have assignments to finish and I haven't been writing stories that much. Do you have any advice for new writer? Even ones about writing-work-life balance? Or, how to bring a character to life?

I'm mostly fantasising about the storyline in my head, and drawing doodles of it on whichever paper is closest to me.

Which brings me to your fantastic art! Your anatomy is amazing! The way your draw facial expressions makes it feel like they're talking around me in real life! The body types have a wide range that I don't see often and oh so thankfull to see!

From darksiders Death looking like death ran over him to darksiders Fury and the female maker twin looking like what one would expect a fighter and weapon maker would look like! Even the reader character looks amazing!

Would it be okay if I ended up following your timeline? I still don't know much about the game and most of the information I'm diffusing into my brain is from your writing.

I hope you well. With care, Illya💜.

Ah jeez, ‘are the games truly that good?’

I’m biased, so I’m going to say hell yes they’re good. They’re all so different too. I got the first game when it came out in 2010 and fell in love with the style and characters, so going into 2 I already had that love for the franchise. My advice is always to start with the first game. You get an introduction to the world, the story and the characters and it just feels more meaningful when you play the sequels. I had it on the Xbox 360, but it runs perfectly okay on any system. I don’t know if it runs on Macs though.

Alternatively, you could watch the cutscenes, but I personally never get as attached to the story if I’m not playing the game myself.

I’d be so unequivocally excited if people wrote fics based on my stuff. So long as it wasn’t like word for word, you know.

Advice for new writers? Obviously focus on your studies, they’re far more important. Which is rich coming from me, I’d write during lectures all the time. But I still managed a 1st so lol. Otherwise: Get a notebook and a pen, I write so much faster when I’m not doing it at a computer. Also, don’t get hung up about making the characters too oc, you’ll forever be fretting over that, just write them as naturally as you can and love doing it. Most of my writing I do in the evening when nothing is expected of me and I can get stuck in without getting distracted.

Use simple language in your first draft. Repeat words, don’t worry about saying the same thing for the first draft, so long as you get the chapter written out, you can fuss out the finer details later. I’m guilty of getting hung up on vocabulary.

Dude. I need to see those doodles.

You can follow my timeline, no worries. Darksiders isn’t mine, all I’ll say is I’d prefer if people didn’t try to write ahead of where CHWH is currently and claim that’s how the story should/does continue.

I’m so pleased you’re enjoying my writing and art, I’ve noticed your username popping up in my notifications a lot, and it gets me all excited like ❤️ 🌟🌈🥰✨💫🫠

[owlight]

Hi i think my boy sabo deserves some love can i request jealousy headcanons with sabo x male reader? Love your work!

😔🫶 thank you for requesting,I love this request sm ,sabo fr deserve a bf

Posting everything in my drafts 💀✋

Tags: jealousy,some suggestive themes in the end,male reader in mind but could be read as gender neutral reader /fem

(Sfw) Sabo getting Jealous headcanons

alright let's get one thing straight,Sabo isn't

Anyway ,This man Is not the kind to get easily jealous truly,he know his Worth and he know he got nothing to be jealous about,after all , you're both together and he know he got everything covered in your relationship with him

But...he Noticed that you are gettin bit tiny close to koala lately (hypocritical of him btw since he spend much more with her than you do with her)

And he can't help but feel bit tiny tiny bitty jealous (he is so jealous he almost set his hat on fire actually)

He doesn't want to say out loud that he is jealous that you're spending more time with koala lately and sound possessive (he is possessive but like jeez he really doesn't want show it)

He just scoop you to his arm slowly and hold you closely, pretending like this absolutely normal professional behaviors

"....ehm sabo?" You asks as sabo chin is resting on your shoulder while you were speaking to Koala " what?" He mumble "you can continue talking,just pretend I'm not here" he add as he sighs,you look at koala who shake her head at Sabo odd behaviors,you both continue talking while sabo listen to you both, content with his state of begin,even though he appeared very clingy to everyone involved in the conversation,he seemed happy to show that he is the only one allowed to be this close to you

Yeah he isn't good at actually showing he is jealous,since he kinda try to get himself into the conversation with the person he is jealous of unconsciously

He doesn't realize he is jealous till the conversation had ended and he have his arms around your shoulders and he is glued to your hips

You have to kindly try to unglue him off you by telling him to stop begin jealous,which he deny so much , because he could never feel jealous

At LEAST that's the friendly jealousy,he get when you're talking to people he knows and trust

When he actually get jealous jealous,pray on your soul because he will throw hands with anyone who is flirting with you

He once saw a fellow Revolutionary flirt with you ,he asked him to spar with him later, accidentally broke his wrist because the guy was still trying to show off for you

After that sparing and the fakest apology known to man kind ,he take you back to your sleeping quarter and he start getting bit too roughly

As he would mark every possible skin available,HE left a hickey on your cheek ,just to make a point😔,you had a whole week with everyone asking if you got punched on the face,0/10 experience

And that happened only because someone made him feel jealous,if you try to make him feel jealous on purpose,count your good days of walking straight because you will miss them after he is done with you

This man is feral and quite sadistic,don't give him a reason for him to 'punish you' , trying to make him jealous would only result of you losing few privileges in bed

He wouldn't mind tying you to a chair ,and have his way with you for hours till you admit you were wrong for trying to make him feel jealous

Ofc you don't learn and try to do it again,cuz he is hot when he is going feral 😔✋smh

#one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece sabo #revolutionary sabo #sabo x reader #sabo the revolutionary #sabo the revolutionary x reader #sabo x you #sabo x y/n #owl write

[starglow-xx]

— the ada boys when they find out their little sister is dating someone they know

characters: dazai osamu, edogawa ranpo, kunikida doppo, nakajima atsushi

a/n: i found this buried in the depths of my drafts and it’s kinda like a part two to this !!

i originally had junichiro here too but i got stumped and gave up so maybe i’ll try again for him next time😅

dazai osamu *ೃ༄

// nakajima atsushi (sorry for those who expected chuuya; i wanted to mix it up hehe)

im gonna call it now, if you’re 18 (and single ofc), he would try to set you up with atsushi

*you and atsushi having a friendly conversation bc yk you two are friends*

*dazai creeping up in the background and obnoxiously whispering* shala-la-la-la-la don't be scared! you got the mood prepared! go on and kiss the girl!

you and atsushi: “...”

i feel like it would start off as a joke to piss you off, annoy you, and embarrass the both you

but at some point he might be doing it fr and not as a joke

and if by any chance, you do get together with atsushi then yay!! his precious little sister and his subordinate are dating <33

but it’s different if you were actually secretly dating atsushi the entire time cause then he’ll go off on some tangent about “betrayal and heartbreak”

dazai’s words not mine

but nonetheless, is genuinely happy for the both of you <33

tho does not mean you escape the menace that is your big brother

“ne ne atsushi-kun have you and y/n-chan ever went all the waAWHACKS”

“d-dazai-san?! a-are you okay?!”

“let’s just leave him alone for right now atsushi-kun”

“but y/n-chan you threw a plant at him. a potted plant.”

“i know what i did atsushi”

besides bothering u, he constantly wants all the deets bc he’s nosy like that

“hey y/n-chan–”

“osamu go away”

“but i didn’t say anything yet!”

also blackmails both u and atsushi bc yeah he’s a little shit

you don’t even know how he knows the things he knows bc you’re 98% sure you haven’t told him or gave anything away

“so how was your date at the park? you know, the one you went on yesterday instead of doing those errands kunikida-kun wanted you two to do? i wonder how mad he’ll get~”

“…im calling chuuya-san”

“(y/n) you’re no fun!”

edogawa ranpo *ೃ༄

// edgar allen poe

he’d be such a fucking troll

“poe-kun can you run to the store and get this for me?”

“ah yes of course ranpo-kun!”

“what was that?”

“oh er, of course greatest detective in all of japan and the rest of world!”

anything for that big brother approval yk?

ranpo just wants to mess with him bc he’s bored (and bc he’s a little bitter his younger sister is dating)

poe would come back from the store and ranpo will send him back like 7 times claiming that he didn’t get the right thing or that he forgot to tell him to buy something else

“ah i hope this is the right one this time! i wonder what ranpo-kun needs motor oil and tupperware for anyways...”

ranpo, if he’s not sending poe out for sweets, he always sends him to get stuff he doesn’t need nor want if he’s feeling particularly bored that day and if he’s feeling generous, he’d send poe to run the errands everyone else is supposed to be doing

for example, making him buy the things on yosano’s supply list or going to the grocery store to use the coupons kunikida had been saving

and poe being poe and being in the position he’s in won’t question why he needs it find some more tweezers, sharp knives, alcohol, scalpels or buy 3 dozen eggs and dish washing soap

finding out, you weren’t exactly pleased

you: im speechless!

ranpo: *looks stright into the camera like he’s in the office*

ranpo: despite being “speechless”, (y/n) continued to yell at me for another hour

kunikida doppo *ೃ༄

// dazai osamu

i don’t know how to start this besides holy shit he will flip the fuck out

it’s dazai what else were you expecting?

but jeez lighten up nii-san would you? smh

eventually, he’ll suck it up

it’ll take...quite a while but yes

he’ll suck it up just for you and only you

somewhere deep down inside he’s happy tho bc, he along with everyone else in the agency knows that he secretly cares for dazai

but he has night terrors realizing that if/when you guys get married, they’ll be brothers (in laws, but whatever)

if you accidentally show up with a hickey to work, even if it’s just barely visible, he’s throwing dazai out the window

twice

and then locking him in a closet

dazai also likes to take all your paperwork along with his and hide them in random folders of kunikida’s work so he’ll accidentally do them

istg he’s literally like 5 pieces of paper away from being finished before he realizes he’s in the middle of doing dazai’s 2 week missing report and that he’s done all of your paperwork for today

he starts screaming and you nervously sweat drop from like halfway across the city bc oh boy you can already tell that this isn’t going to go down well

nakajima atsushi *ೃ༄

// akutagawa ryuunosuke

for the sake of keeping you of age, let’s say you’re twins

I CANNOT RN IM BOTH CRYING AND LAUGHING PLEASE SAVE HIM

he cannot for the life of him comprehend how you fell for that...thing

at first you think he’s mad at you which makes you sad, but he’s not; he’s just really really surprised

he never thought that akutagawa would’ve gotten a girlfriend with his “attack and or kill first don’t ask questions ever” kind of thing he’s got going on

ok, sure, akutagawa getting a girlfriend? he’ll get over that shock soon, it’s not rlly his business yk?

but the fact that his girlfriend iS HIS SISTER??

yeah no never in a million years

sometimes he wakes up in the morning thinking that it was a just a nightmare dream till his overhears you on the phone with ryuu and he’s like

“...so that wasn’t a nightmare after all”

anyways

it’s like a complete switch of their relationship

atsushi is more than willing to fight ryuu and on the other hand ryuu is somewhat in control

and just to clarify it’s not bc he doesn’t want to fight atsushi, no he’s always willing to do that bc how dare that jinko look down on me but it’s more like if does it you’ll get upset with him

he doesn’t want to do that

so he fights with every single fiber of his being to resist the urge of smacking atsushi into wall bc no if i do that y/n gets mad and that’s not good

and boy were there close calls

they’re literally 2 seconds from attacking each other but then suddenly they’ll feel a chill in the room from your direction and stop then refuse to make eye contact with anyone

you included (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

you don’t think that they’ll ever get along, but at least for your sake, you’re sure that they’ll at least try to tolerate each other

for now anyways (*°▽°*)

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize, repost, or translate on here or any other sites!

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd #bsd x reader #dazai osamu x reader #edogawa ranpo x reader #kunikida doppo x reader #nakajima atsushi x reader #dazai x reader #ranpo x reader #kunikida x reader #atsushi x reader #dazai osamu #edogawa ranpo #kunikida doppo #nakajima atsushi #armed detective agency x reader #ada x reader #armed detective agency #platonic relationships #female reader #sister reader #[📂🔎] bsd things

[ladamedusoif]

Visiting - Chapter 7: Forget Who We Are

(Moodboard by the wonderful @cutesyscreenname)

Pairing: Professor!Ben (College AU) x OFC Lydia/fem!Reader (reader POV/2nd POV)

Summary: Seeking a change of scenery after her life falls apart, Lydia crosses the Atlantic and arrives in a small New England town, to spend a year expanding her intellectual horizons as a visiting professor of art history at a small liberal arts college. Her growing friendship with Ben Morales, professor of Hispanic literature, forces Lydia to confront the fallout from her past - and raises unexpected questions about the future.

Chapter summary: As the semester winds to a close, and Lydia and Ben prepare to go their separate ways for the holidays, it's time to face facts about what happened at Thanksgiving - and indulge in some holiday cheer.

Word Count: 11.4k (it's worth it)

Rating: Explicit (MDNI; 18+) - for real.

Content (chapter specific): Smut; Professor Ben College AU; smaller-than-usual-for-this-fandom age gap (Lydia turns 42, and Ben is 47); canon is not a thing here; slow burn; idiots-to-lovers; fingering; oral sex (F and M receiving); praise kink; tongue-in-cheek size kink; discussions of sexual health and explicit consent; Ben and Lyd are consent masters; safe but technically unprotected PiV sex (talk about it first, people); creampie; strong language; alcohol consumption; weight and body insecurity; references to the holidays; did I mention the smut?; tiny bit of angst for good measure; smutty mcsmutterson.

A/N: The title of this chapter is taken from Father John Misty's song "Real Love Baby", which - to quote @julesonrecord - has become one of the songs for this pair of idiots as they come to terms with what they feel about each other. I listened to this a lot while drafting and writing this chapter.

I'd also recommend the classic "Fall at Your Feet" by Crowded House as a song with an appropriate vibe for this chapter. (God, I love this song so much.)

("Who knows where that might lead?" jeez alright Neil Finn hit me in the feels, why don't you?)

I'm so grateful for all the love I've had for this story and for this pair. Every comment and reblog and ask is a little lift to my soul (I mean that!)

And I'm extra pleased to be posting this important chapter this week, given that OG SNL Ben, the character that got into my head and made me think "imagine that man as a college professor of literature", is technically now Emmy-nominated.

They're idiots, the love might be requited, but they still have a long way to go, trust me.

Further A/N after the chapter to avoid spoilers.

See the Series Masterlist for an outline of Lydia's story and background.

Cross-posting to AO3 (got delayed this week because of The Attack!)

Thanks, as ever, to @lunapascal and @julesonrecord for loving Bendie as much as I do, and for being patient sounding boards as I work out how to tell this vital part of their story.

Taglist: @lunapascal, @julesonrecord, @cutesyscreenname, @tessa-quayle, @vermillionwinter, @iamskyereads, @tieronecrush, @perennialdoll247, @love-the-abyss, @imaswellkid, @intheorangebedroom, @javierisms, @fuckyeahdindjarin, @littlemisspascal, @khindahra, @pedrostories, @readingiskeepingmegoing, @ruebyretro, @rhoorl

“So you’re in at what time tomorrow?”

“It’s not tomorrow, mom, it’s the day after tomorrow. Actually, it might be the day after the day after tomorrow with the time difference? Let me check, I’ll confirm later.”

You’re discussing the final arrangements for your flight home for the holidays with your mother by phone, while simultaneously checking over your end-of-semester to-do list. 

There’s always a certain giddiness in the air - tempered with panic, as everyone tries to get as much work as possible wrapped up - as the first semester winds to a close for the winter holidays and the student body starts to thin out, and Barrow is no exception. All that’s left on the calendar are two events, happening tomorrow: the Founders’ Luncheon, a formal event considered a vital part of the college’s fundraising activity; and - much more importantly, from a faculty staff perspective - the informal annual staff holiday party, held in the evening. 

You zone out a little as your mother starts telling you how busy she is with the preparations for the holidays. Looking through the glass panel in your door, you see a familiar figure standing further down the hallway, glasses dangling from his mouth as he opens his office door while juggling a stack of books. 

A little smile creeps across your face, but there’s an ache in your chest: yearning tempered with uncertainty. You haven’t actually seen Ben in person since Thanksgiving. He’d been away at a big comparative literature conference in the south, and by the time he’d got back you were leaving for New York, where you were speaking at a week-long conference on eighteenth-century art. 

You’d been in touch, though. While you were both away, you kept up the constant back-and-forth of messages that you’d grown used to over the last couple of months, a steady stream of jokes and gifs and selfies and commentary on everything: from the books you were reading to the shows you were watching, to the most mundane, everyday experiences. 

Well, almost everything. In all of those exchanges, neither of you had ever brought up Thanksgiving, or the accidental, sort-of “kiss” that had haunted your dreams and fantasies over the last couple of weeks.

Ben turns just as he’s about to go into his office. He smiles, raises a hand, and gives you a little wave

“Hey there, stranger.”

He’s there at your door, a mug of coffee in each hand, as usual, and a soft, if nervous, smile on his face. 

“Hey stranger, yourself.” You take your coffee gratefully and sit back in your desk chair. “Why does it feel like I haven’t seen you in forever?”

Ben shrugs and leans against the doorframe. “Conferences, travel - and I guess it feels longer because we’ve seen each other pretty much every workday, right?” He takes a substantial sip from his mug, and looks at you. “I can’t stay, I’ve got a supervision meeting, but, um, how have you been? How was the conference?”

You throw your head back and flail your hands excitedly. “Oh my god, it was amazing! Full disclosure - I might have skipped the occasional session because I was in New fucking York. But it was so worth it. And the paper seemed to go well, so - all good. How was yours?”

He exhales and shakes his head, rolling his eyes for comic effect. “The paper was a rushed job, I was basically in a hotel in Louisiana for four days, my daily treat was a trip to the CVS across the road, as you know - but yeah, the discussions were good, the work was interesting…” He raises an eyebrow and smiles mischievously. “Still - clearly I should have become an art historian purely for the conference locations.”

Neither of you seems willing - or able - to bring up the elephant in the room. Perhaps you just didn’t need to talk about it. You’d both seemed surprised by the “kiss”. You both seemed to understand it as unintentional. Maybe further discussion was unnecessary. 

You reach into your desk drawer to retrieve a pack of luridly-frosted holiday cookies. “Hey, take a couple of these for that meeting. You need the extra sugar and artificial ingredients to get you to the end of the semester.” 

Ben’s face lights up. He walks over to the desk and takes two of the cookies, holding them in his big palm carefully. “Damn right I do.” He looks down at you, and you feel the smile spreading across your face at the sight of those eyes at close quarters. 

You take a deep breath. “Ben, I -”

A knock at your office door, still ajar. To your surprise, it’s David.

“Hi Lyd, hi Ben - I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“Not at all,” Ben reassures him. “I was just leaving.” He turns back to face you before he leaves the office. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lyddie, at the luncheon?” 

You nod. “And the holiday party. For god’s sake, don’t forget about the party or Susan might kill you.”

He grins, pats David on the shoulder, and wanders down the hall to his office. David closes your office door and sits in the chair in front of your desk.

You extend the pack of cookies towards him. “Help yourself and try not to think about the amount of edible glitter involved. So, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

David gingerly picks up a cookie shaped like a snowman. “I’ve been up with Evan this week, and realised I wouldn’t see you before you go home,” he explains, nibbling a little of his cookie. “I wanted to call by and wish you safe travels and happy holidays.”

Before you can start to return the sentiment he puts up a hand, gently. 

“There is something else. Lydia, can I say something to you? Between us. It will never leave this room.”

You shift in your chair. “Sure, of course - oh shit. Is… is Evan okay?”

David smiles and nods, reassuring you. “He’s fine. It’s not about Evan, actually. It’s about you.” 

You feel your eyebrows shoot upwards. 

“Well, really… it’s about you. And Ben.”

Oh, fuck. Fuck. 

You get a sudden, strong memory of David in the cab on the night of your birthday drinks, looking at you intently as Evan confirmed that Ben was single, contrary to Amy’s rumour mongering. 

What did he know?

“Oh, okay. Okay.”

“I don’t know how else to put this, Lyd, but I think that man - I think Ben has feelings for you. Strong feelings.”

You feel your face heat and your mouth start to dry up. There might even be tears pricking your eyes. You try as best you can to control your breathing.

“David, no. I don’t think so. He’s never done anything to suggest otherwise, and he’s had the chance, so -”

David tilts his head to one side, his eyes kind and serious. 

“Lydia, I’m a theatre scholar. I study bodies and expressions for a living. I know what’s real, and I know what’s performed. And I’ve seen you two together enough, and heard each of you talk about the other enough times, to know that he has real feelings for you.” He looks at you intently. “And… to be fairly certain that you have feelings for Ben, too.”

The pricking sensation has turned to real tears, rolling heavy and slow down your cheeks.

“Please, please don’t tell Evan.”

David crosses to your side of the desk and wraps an arm around you. “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay.” He hugs you as you protest that Ben just wants to be your friend, that he couldn’t possibly want someone like you, and then pulls away, looking at you face on.

“All that might be true. Maybe. But…just see. See what happens if you let the light in, just a little. You might be surprised.”

Before you leave work that evening, you pop into the main faculty office, a small, festively-wrapped parcel in your hands. Susan barely notices you pass, wrapped up in counting glasses and bottles of wine for the party the next day.

You scan the rows of cubbyholes, each one labelled in alphabetical order for a staff member, until you find it: 

B.E. Morales

You place the little parcel on top of a couple of academic publisher catalogues, addressed to Ben. 

A couple of rows above his, you notice something in your own mailbox: a gift box with a Post-It on top. 

Another explanatory Post-It, you think, placing the box in a tote bag.

A very small Christmas gift, if you have room in your suitcase. - B.

You bring it home and place it carefully in your hand luggage.

Your invite to the Founders’ Luncheon had arrived just before Thanksgiving: a small, gold-edged cream-coloured card with the event details printed on it in elegant black lettering. 

“Does everyone attend this?” you’d asked Susan, studying the invite carefully. 

She shook her head. “A select few. We usually nominate the visiting professor to attend, though - so be prepared to smile and gladhand anyone who looks like they might be willing to donate to support the diversity and inclusion project. Or maybe even a new wing for the library, if you’re extra convincing.”

You hummed thoughtfully, wondering what you could dredge up from your wardrobe that would be formal enough for the luncheon and still be appropriately festive for the party later the same day. 

“You’ll have at least one familiar face there, though,” Susan added, stacking a pile of freshly-copied course materials. “Ben’s been asked to deliver the address that kicks off proceedings - trying to get philanthropic support for the diversity stuff he’s been working on. He’s nervous as all hell about it - you can imagine - but I think he’ll be pleased to know he has you there for moral support.”

In the end, you’d plumped for a crimson vintage-style swing dress with three-quarter length sleeves and a cross-over neckline: demure enough to wear to the lunch and look like a Serious Intellectual, but ready to be dressed up with some well-chosen holiday accessories for the party later. 

Though Ani insisted it was nothing fancy, everyone seemed extremely excited for the holiday shindig: a gathering of colleagues in one of the bigger teaching rooms in the building, fuelled by eggnog, wine, and party food. You had already heard in detail about Evan’s carefully-curated playlists. It seemed like the perfect way to blow off a little steam after a busy semester.

The party was due to start about 5pm, but first there was a formal lunch to contend with. All morning, you’d been silently repeating ‘elevator pitches’ about your work, the importance of the progress already made in diversity and inclusion, and the resources the college needed to continue it. Visitor or not, you were ready to do your best with the wealthy donors who might write a fat cheque - and get a tax break in return. 

You’re running over the list of talking points in your head as you meander down the corridor on your way to your office, about an hour before the luncheon is due to begin. 

“Motherfucker!”

The loud swearing stops you in your tracks. His door is ajar. You knock lightly. 

“Come in.” Ben turns, sounding frustrated, but brightens and visibly relaxes when he realises it’s you. 

“Oh, hi Lyd! Sorry, I’m just…” He stops and runs his eyes over you from top to toe. “Wow, you look…great.”

You can feel your face burning, and try to deflect from his words. “So do you. I mean… you’re all fancy.”

He’s dressed more formally than you’ve ever seen before. A white button-down shirt, slim navy dress pants, black lace-up Oxfords. The collar of his shirt is turned up, and he’s holding the source of his irritation: a dark green tie.

Oh, fuck me. He looks so good.

He exhales sadly. “I can do this without a mirror - usually. But it’s like I can’t remember how to do it today, and I think I’m losing it.”

“Might also be because you’re thinking about the speech, no?” 

He sighs and looks a little sheepish. “You know me too well, Lyddie.” 

You feel heat spread at the nape of your neck. Pull yourself together. 

“Can I help at all? With the tie? I could act as your mirror, or help to get it right…”

His eyes light up and he drapes the tie around his neck again. “Oh, please? I need to run through the address one more time and I’m already late. Here: it’s probably quicker if you just do it for me at this stage.”

Oh. Oh, no.

Your instinctive need to help had overridden whether or not you could actually cope with this: physical proximity, first of all, but then having to tie Ben’s tie? With all the intimate domesticity it implied? It could end you there and then. 

You take a deep breath and move a little closer, taking each end of the tie in your hands. 

“I can literally do one knot, so I hope this is what you’re after,” you say, and he laughs lightly. You begin to knot his tie, muscle memory kicking in from your school days, when a tie was part of your convent school uniform. By necessity, you’ve had to edge closer still to him, and you can feel his dark eyes burning into you as he watches your fingers work. 

David’s words from the day before continue to run through your brain on a permanent loop. 

Let the light in, just a little. 

You look at Ben through your lashes, mouth drying and a telltale throb fluttering through your core. 

“Hope I’ve done this right. I’ll just adjust it and then I can take a picture so you can check.” You tighten the knot slightly and work it up towards the hollow of his neck, eyes trailing up to meet his gaze. 

Let the light in. 

You bring your hands up to fold down his collar and, almost without thinking, graze your fingertips off the grey patches that you love so much, just at the corners of his jaw. 

Ben closes his eyes for a moment, and you can see his breathing speeding up slightly. He swallows hard.

“I meant it.”

You fold down the collar and adjust the knot, praying that your heart will stop beating quite so quickly and that the ache between your legs will dissipate. Still, you don’t stop touching him, bringing your right hand to rest lightly on his chest, just over his heart.

“Meant what?”

He opens his eyes and looks at you. “I meant it. On Thanksgiving. I…meant to kiss you.”

Your eyes widen and your features soften in understanding. “Ohhhh.”

He brings one hand up and places it over yours. “I know you didn’t mean it, you went in for a kiss on the cheek and - I’m sorry, I just have to tell you, Lyd. I… I wanted to. And I should have kept kissing you, the way I wanted to.” 

With his free hand, he strokes your cheek with his long fingers, the warm span of his palm carefully cupping your jaw as if you’re the most delicate thing in the world. 

You smile shyly, reciprocating his gesture as you stroke your thumb along the scruff on his jaw. “I was going in for a kiss on the cheek…but I meant it, too. I wish I’d been braver that night.” You giggle. “And yes, you should definitely have kept kissing me.”

For an instant you remember the defences you’ve built up around yourself: around your heart and your soul. They were a protection and a comfort, a suit of armour deflecting even the slightest possibility of future pain and loss. You cannot be hurt or disappointed if you never expect anything. Never let anyone in.

But even the best armour is not completely impenetrable. The first weakness was exposed the day you realised what you actually felt for this man, even if you could barely admit it to yourself. 

Smiling softly, Ben drops his arm to your waist to pull you close to him, continuing to caress your cheek with his free hand. “You…you’re so beautiful. I…”

His tongue darts fleetingly across his lips, as if he’s looking at a delicious morsel, and it’s enough to make you almost feral with sheer desire. 

He angles his head slightly, gently nudging at your nose with his. His soft, pink lips meet yours, slightly open, in a warm, perfect kiss.

With a light moan, your tongue immediately seeks entrance to his mouth. He tastes of peppermint and coffee, of sweetness and bitterness all at once. You reach for his tie, not breaking the kiss, and gently tug him along with you as you walk backwards towards the wall of his office until he’s almost pressing you into it. 

As he kisses you ever more deeply, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in, tight as he can to his body, slowly moving his hands over your back and hips, and trailing his fingertips across your ass. In return, you run your hands through his hair and stroke your fingers down one side of his neck, eliciting a groan from him, before breaking away to wrap your arms around the broad span of his back. 

You have felt his warm body before, when you’d hugged, but this was something else entirely. No need to worry about whether you’d lingered a little too long in his arms. No need to suppress the desires that had haunted and tormented you. Now it was time to express them.

Ben breaks off the kiss momentarily, pausing to look at you with those intelligent, sensitive, coffee-brown eyes. A wide grin spreads across his handsome face. You feel his cock pressing, half-hard, against you in his dress pants. The sensation sends another wave of wetness to your centre. 

“What are you smiling at, Professor?”

“You. Beautiful, gorgeous you.” 

It’s all you can do to stop the happy tears from falling. Instead, you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and pull him in for a deep kiss, hungrily tasting each other. He breaks away and moves his mouth to your neck, pulling a moan of desire from you that’s probably louder than was wise in a workplace. 

He’s working his way down to your collarbone when your eyes snap open and you freeze. Ben looks at you with concern. 

“Are you okay? Is this too much? We can stop. We can slow down. Whatever you…”

You shake your head frantically. “I wish we didn’t have to stop but, Ben: the fucking luncheon!”

His eyes widen in panic. “Oh, FUCK! FUUUUUCK! What time is it? Fuck fuck fuck -”

You look at your phone and try to calm him down. “You’re fine, you’ve got like twenty minutes before it starts. Hey,” you reach for his hand, “remember the message of Hitchhiker’s Guide? Don’t Panic. And maybe relax a bit, so you’re not… visible. Ahem.”

He raises an eyebrow and laughs. His breathing slows a little, and he squeezes your hand gratefully before planting a final, chaste kiss to your lips. “I’ll see you over there. Might be a bit late for the holiday party, depending on how many people they want me to meet after, but we can, uh, pick up where we left off?”

He looks so sweet and so painfully shy that you almost can’t believe this is the same man who was pushing you into a wall and kissing you like his life depended on it only a few minutes before. 

You lean in for just one more kiss. “Abso-fucking-lutely we can.”

His address to the luncheon is, unsurprisingly, brilliant. Erudite, warm, funny: infused with the passion you saw him bring to his work and to his subject every day. He is so talented: he wears his learning lightly, his natural charm working to hook the audience in and hang on his every word.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that he looks so gorgeous up there at the podium: smart suit, curls neater than usual (you suspect he’d run some wax through his hair after you left him), and that tie.

That fucking tie. You can’t even look at it, because it immediately sends your brain right back to the feeling of tugging it to pull him against you, to the taste of him, to the way his big hands roved over you, gentle but needy, to the way his body revealed just how turned on he’d become by kissing and touching you. 

Fuck. You try to ignore the ache between your legs, choosing to focus instead on the handsome man at the podium. 

You listen attentively to Ben making a powerful case to the large hall full of wealthy donors for the importance of making arts and humanities education accessible. The room fills with applause as he brings his address to a close, and you clap as loud as you can, looking at him with a broad smile on your face. As he walks across the stage, he turns and spots you. 

“Was it okay?” He mouths the words towards you. 

You nod enthusiastically, and give a subtle thumbs up. He does a tiny air punch, and grins at you as he disappears off stage. 

“I’ve switched up the playlists - no one really wants more than an hour of festive hits, even if it’s curated by me. Vegan no-pig in blanket?”

Evan proffers a tray of party snacks, having come over to join you near the tables set up with drinks and food. The music has become much more eclectic: fewer holiday hits, many more danceable, extremely cool, crowd pleasers. A few people are even starting to clear space in the centre of the room as a makeshift dancefloor. 

“Where’s Benjamin?” Evan asks as you chew on a no-pig in blanket. “You’re normally joined at the hip.”

You try not to choke on the pastry, grabbing a glass of red wine to wash down the food. “He was doing the address at the founders’ thing, remember? I think they wanted him to stay around afterwards to meet possible donors. It’s all about the diversity and inclusion programme.”

Evan nods, satisfied. “I’m not keeping any food for him, though.”

The strains of “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” are abruptly cut off as Jen Arden taps on her wine glass. “Head of department holiday speech time! Don’t worry, I won’t keep you from your partying too long - I want to see everyone out on that floor!” 

Her words are succinct but heartfelt, thanking everyone for the hard work that had made the semester successful and noting your arrival and integration into the Barrow community. You blush slightly as the eyes of the room turn in your direction. 

“And as some of you know, Ben Morales delivered the address at the annual Founders Luncheon today - an important part of fundraising for the inclusion programme he’s been spearheading.” Jen looks around the room, seeking out her friend, eyes resting on the doorway as Ben finally arrives. “And here he is now!”

Ben shyly acknowledges the applause in the room, making a beeline for the food and drink. Pure coincidence, of course, that you happened to be standing over there, too. He stands behind you and greets Evan. 

“Well, did you secure the megabucks? Are there hessian sacks printed with dollar signs currently filling your office?”

Ben huffs a laugh. “We have to wait and see, I guess. They seemed nice. Weird, though, talking to people you know are multi-millionaires. Billionaires, even. You keep thinking, ‘why do you need all that money?’”

He shakes his head and reaches for a glass of red wine. As he does so, he trails his hand along your lower back, fingertips grazing the top of your ass. For an instant you wonder if it was an accident, until you feel the palm of his hand pressing lightly but deliberately into the small of your back. 

Evan is talking at length about the snack selection at this year’s party and is clearly oblivious to Ben’s shenanigans and the heat rising in your face as you struggle to maintain your composure. Glass of wine obtained, Ben continues the conversation with Evan, studiously avoiding your attempts to catch his eye.

He’d been explaining his holiday plans - Ben is going west, trying to make up for some of the time lost when he cancelled his trip at Thanksgiving, and is really excited about it - when Evan spots an incoming call on his phone. “Oh shit, it’s my mom. I better go talk to her - sorry guys!”

He exits the room, already talking loudly to his mother about her holiday menu plans. 

As soon as you’re both alone, you swivel to face Ben head-on. 

“Um, excuse me?”

He smirks. “Excuse you?”

“Benjamin Ernesto Morales. You know what I’m talking about. You’re lucky I didn’t spontaneously combust in front of Evan.”

He chuckles. “Ah, that was just a friendly hand placement. Nothing more to it.” He arches an eyebrow, and once again you can feel desire - no, need - rushing through you. The urge to kiss him here, in front of everyone, without a thought for the (possible) consequences, is overwhelming. 

“You, sir, are a menace. Why didn’t I know about this before?”

He does that half-smile that makes you melt, and shrugs his shoulders. “Hey, on another topic - where’s Ani?”

“They messaged me this morning. In bed with a migraine, poor thing. I think these things wait until the end of the semester, just when you’re about to relax, and then bam.”

He makes a sympathetic face and nibbles on a cookie. “So it’s just us, then?” His gaze is both gentle and flirtatious.

“Us, and the rest of the faculty.” You gesture around the room, giving him a look that says “no funny business”.

He gently moves his hand along the edge of the table until it’s within touching distance of yours, and gently runs his fingertips along the back of your hand. You reciprocate by stroking the side of his hand with the pad of your thumb. 

It’s so stupidly chaste, like something from a Georgette Heyer novel about maidens and gentlemen in Georgian England, and yet it’s one of the sweetest, most intimate things you’ve experienced in a very long time.

Ben’s eyes widen as the music changes and the unmistakable opening bars of “Edge of Seventeen” begin. “Oh, Lyd!” He outright grabs your hand now. “Let’s dance, come on.”

He looks perplexed when you don’t move. You beckon him closer with a tilt of your head, and whisper into his ear, feeling your cheeks heating.

“I can think of something better than dancing, but we might need to be somewhere more, um, private.”

His expression shifts as understanding sets in. “Oh. Ohhh.” He grins, looking you up and down. “Yours or mine?”

Praise be to Stevie Nicks. “Edge of Seventeen” got so many colleagues out on the ‘dancefloor’ that the two of you were able to slip away completely unnoticed.

You unlock the door of your office and switch on your desk lamp before pulling down the blind over the glass panel. The soft light illuminates his handsome features as you turn back to face him: the strong line of his profile; the softness of his mouth, lips slightly parted; the glint in his warm eyes. He’s taken off his suit jacket, and with a smile you suddenly recall the first time you noticed how beautifully broad he was, standing in the kitchen at Evan’s Halloween party.

“Hi, Ben.”

“Hi, Lyddie.”

You’re standing close now, face to face. You walk your fingers up towards the knot of his tie, looking at him through your lashes, and tug it so that he’s right up against you, beautiful dark eyes taking you in. He leans in with a smile and kisses you slowly and deeply, the bristling sensation of his moustache and beard against your lips and face going straight to your core.

The pace was never going to stay slow. You wrap your arms around him and he pulls you tight to his body, moving his hands over your hips and ass and pulling little gasps and moans from you. The mints and coffee of earlier are replaced by the taste of red wine and sugar cookies on his lips and tongue. 

You start to run your hands through his hair, stroking your fingers down the side of his beautiful neck, loosening the knot of his tie, and opening the top buttons on his shirt to create a little more space for you. He inhales sharply when you break away from the kiss to gently lick and nibble at his neck and collarbone. You can feel him hardening against you, again. 

He pulls away slightly, keeping his hands around your waist. For the first time in your life, you actually understand what romance novelists mean when they describe a character as having ‘lust-blown eyes’. Ben’s coffee-brown eyes are near black, pupils dilated and lids heavy, conveying a potent mixture of sweet affection and utter desire. He lifts his hand to stroke your cheek gently, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip, before gently moving you towards the edge of your desk. 

He’s nervous. He moves some of the piles of your papers and books out of the way, careful not to disrupt the chaotic ‘order’ you maintain, so you have more room to sit on the desk. As you sit on the edge, you notice his hands are trembling a little. You feel a bit better about the quivering sensation that’s been running through you since you entered the office together, a mixture of desire and nerves.

You hitch up the skirt of your dress a little, opening your legs and creating more room for him as he stands between them, resting his forehead against yours.

“You okay, Ben?”

He looks at you in surprise. “I’m great, Lyd, I’m just…it’s…I’m really glad.” 

You feel a surge of affection in your chest. “So am I. And I’m glad for this tie.” You use it to pull him close to your body again, kissing him hungrily. He leans against you, hands on your waist and back. 

“Is this okay? Can I…touch you, Lydia?”

Something about the way he says your name, softly but purposefully, sends you utterly wild. 

“You know you can, Ben. I’m all yours,” you whisper, edging closer and slowly moving a hand down his broad torso, strong and soft at the same time. You reach his waistband and keep going, brushing your hand lightly over the bulge straining against his dress pants as you maintain eye contact. “I want you.” 

He closes his eyes, letting out a soft moan, before bringing his hands - those beautiful, big hands - up to softly caress your breasts as he moves his mouth to your neck, planting gentle kisses and sucking the skin ever so gently. 

It’s miraculous that you don’t come undone there and then, tipped over the edge by the feeling of his hands on your breasts, his mouth working the sensitive skin at the base of your neck, and his cock growing ever-harder underneath the light massage offered by your palm. Your fingers work at the buttons and zipper of his pants, desperately trying to get access to his hard length. 

He’s pulled up your dress, running his hands up your thighs and towards the warm, wet apex of your legs. He lets out a sigh of pleasure as he traces his long fingers from the top of your stockings to the bare skin of your upper thigh, leaning back to look at your body with a sort of delighted rapture. You silently congratulate yourself for choosing to wear hold-ups instead of regular pantyhose under your dress.

Even in this moment, part of your brain starts to worry about the state of your body and its many flaws, wondering what he is going to think about the you that’s under the scarlet fabric. That said, he seems to be keen so far. He grabs handfuls of the soft flesh on your thighs and hips, grunting with pleasure into your mouth. He feels insatiable already, one hand still caressing your tits as the other slips right between your legs and starts to rub at the soaking crotch of your panties. You’re trying to keep it together, moaning as you move your fingers against the waistband of his boxer briefs, ready to take him in your hand and attend to his pleasure.

Suddenly, the lights in the corridor come on. Laughter and loud chatting from a group of colleagues fills the air. Both you and Ben freeze, breaking off the kiss while your hands stay put.

“Shit… do you think they heard us?” you hiss, unsure what the rules are around this kind of thing at Barrow.

He turns to look at the door of the office, trying to see how close the group was. 

“I don’t think so. I don’t think we were that loud, were we?”

You smirk and raise an eyebrow.

“We weren’t, but we were just getting going…”

He rests his forehead on your shoulder and laughs before looking at you again, withdrawing his hands and straightening your dress. 

“Shall we get out of here? I can call a cab…”, he offers as you nod in agreement. He quickly does up his fly before grabbing his phone from his jacket pocket and pulling up the relevant app. “This is going to sound so cheesy, but - your place or mine?”

You giggle. “My apartment looks like a packing monster threw up in it, so, if you’re okay with yours…”

He smiles and nods enthusiastically, tapping in the details. “Five minutes. They’ll be at the main entrance.”

“Five minutes, so that’s two minutes to get to the door - and three minutes for another kiss?”

He chuckles deeply and pulls you in again.

Ben fastens his seatbelt in the back of the cab, looking at you expectantly. The street lights have him half in shadow, half in light, and you have to focus for a moment to answer. 

Fuck, he’s so sexy. 

The little voice deep inside you still whispers about how someone as fucking hot as him surely couldn’t want someone like you. But you manage to hush it, focusing on Ben’s beautiful face.

The cab journey is short - no more than five minutes along the quiet streets - but feels like an eternity. You’ve spent the entire ride making out in the back seat, like horny students rather than two forty-something academics. Pulling up at his house, you and Ben try to retain at least a little decorum as you hustle to the front door.

“I hope you gave that guy a good tip,” you joke as Ben fumbles for his keys, one hand resting on your ass.

He grins. “The tip was three times the cost of the ride. Think that should cover him for enduring our, uh, shenanigans?”

The front door opens and the two of you step inside. You pause for a moment to take each other in, you trailing your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck while his thumb caresses your cheek. Your lips meet again as you peel off each other’s coats and fall back against the wall in his hallway, your hands fumbling to undo his pants again while he dips his long fingers, finally, into the wet heat between your legs. 

“Oh, fuck!” It feels like you’ve been waiting for him all your life. And, judging by the noises he’s making, the feeling seems to be reciprocated.

“God, Lydia, baby, I can’t believe you’re this wet for me already,” he purrs, sounding genuinely surprised and stroking the inside of your cunt firmly while his thumb works your clit. “You feel so fucking good.”

Ben resumes his work on your neck, moving more urgently now than he had in your office. His moustache and beard brushes against the sensitive skin of your neck and shoulders and makes you wetter still as he continues to massage your clit, occasionally slipping a finger into your pussy. You moan deeply, feeling yourself tightening around his finger as you get ever closer. 

“Fuck, I want you,” he whispers in your ear. “I really want you, Lyddie. I need you. You know?”

You whine with pleasure, one hand inside his briefs palming his cock as he works you to the edge. You can feel the orgasm about to burst deep inside, focused on the sound and sensation of his fingers - Ben’s big, strong fingers  - sliding in and out of you. 

He doesn’t stop, but he sounds a little more vulnerable. “Is that okay? I hope that’s okay,” he continues, and you feel like you’re about to black out.

“I…fuck…that’s more than okay, that’s - Jesus, I want that. And I want you, I need you, to have you, I want you…fuck, Ben! I think I’m going to fucking come, I…”

He looks down to where his hand is working you towards your climax. “That’s it, good girl. You’re so close. Come for me, beautiful girl.”

Good girl. Beautiful girl. Praise kink: activated.

Somehow he manages to look sexy as hell and sweetly shy as he brings you to the edge, eyes warm and dark. “I can’t believe I’m finally getting to make you come, I…I’ve wanted to, so badly.”

You come with a gasp, cunt throbbing and tightening around his fingers. It has been a long time since you’ve come this hard. Your eyes shoot open, looking directly into his. 

He strokes the side of your face with his other hand as he takes you through the aftershocks. Your wetness soaks his fingers as you kiss him, trying to express your gratitude for what he’s made you feel, leaning against the wall of his hallway. 

You break away, able to concentrate more effectively on the way his cock is now fully hard under your hand. “Fuck, baby, that was… holy shit. It’s, uh… it’s been a while.”

He blushes and kisses your forehead. “Can I take you to bed, Lyddie?”

You grin and start to giggle. He looks confused. “What? You don’t want to?”

How can you explain the myriad feelings racing through you in this moment? Excited. Nervous. Happy. Horny.

“I do, Ben. You know I do. I’m just, I dunno, I’m - I’m happy. And I really, really want you.”

He gives you a flash of that sexy fucking smile as he withdraws his hand from your panties and gently moves yours from his cock. 

“Come on.”

Taking your hand, he leads you up the stairs.

You notice almost nothing about Ben’s bedroom as the two of you enter, besides the side lamp he quickly flicks on and the pile of books he moves off the bed before turning his attention back to you. Lips locked, you focus on unbuttoning his shirt while he tries to get your dress off. 

In an instant you are standing before him in black and red bra, black (sensible) high-waisted panties, and hold-ups, his shirt, tie, and pants already discarded.

His eyes widen as he takes you in, gaze lingering over the black lace and red satin of your bra. “Wow. Holy shit.”

Instinctively, you move a step backwards and wrap your arms over your body protectively. You are suddenly overwhelmed by all that is wrong with your body: its size, its awkwardness, the stretch marks from weight lost and (more commonly) gained, marks and scars, a belly that is far too squishy and soft, in your opinion, hips that are too wide, breasts made heavier and less, well, perky with age. And that’s before you get on to your perennially crunchy knees.

You feel every one of your forty-two years, and then some. The fact of his utter gorgeousness leads you to only one conclusion.

God, he’s probably only ever fucked hotter people than me. I can’t compare, surely? 

You feel exposed. The defences - physical, sure, but emotional, too - have been irretrievably breached, and the fear of rejection scares the shit out of you.

The sight of Ben Morales before you, wearing just his boxer briefs (and, you notice for the first time, a pair of candy cane-patterned socks), makes you even more anxious about how you must look to him. He is a gorgeous vision, easily the most beautiful man you’ve ever even seen, let alone gone to bed with: lightly golden skin, strong arms and legs, broad shoulders, and a soft tummy that is as adorable and sexy as you’d imagined. 

And best of all, that beautiful, kind face, now looking at you with real concern.

“Are… are you okay? Lyddie? Are you alright? We can stop, we don’t have to -“

You shake your head and bring your eyes up to meet his. 

“I really don’t want to stop, Ben. I mean it, I want you…I need you in every way. It’s just… I mean, this,” and you gesture loosely to your body. “Like, I’ve had sex since my last relationship but it wasn’t like this, it wasn’t…this. It wasn’t…it didn’t mean…”

He reaches his hands towards you to bring you in for a hug. You take a deep breath as you try to explain properly.

“I haven’t been naked with someone like you…someone I actually care about in a long time. And I’m scared that you won’t like what you see, because you look so good and hot and so beautiful. You’re just so beautiful, Ben. And I…I’m not…”

He holds you closer and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” he whispers. “I wish you could understand what it feels like to have looked at you, to have thought for so long about what it would be like to hold you, to kiss you, and now to finally touch you.” He’s blushing. 

“Kinda wish I could see myself the way you seem to see me, too. Don’t think I’ve ever been called ‘beautiful’ before. Before…you.”

He is still holding you, warm and gentle against his broad chest. You are suffused with a feeling of absolute safety. 

“I mean it, Lyd. If you don’t want to go any further we don’t have to.”

You pull back, bringing your arms to your sides and resisting the urge to hide yourself from his gaze. You look him in the eyes and shake your head with a soft smile.

“I know. We’re keeping going. I want this, too.” 

He kisses you and reaches around to undo your bra, struggling against the hooks.

You reach behind you, keeping your eyes on him, and deftly undo the bra. His mouth moves immediately to your breasts, tongue circling first one nipple and then the other before pulling back to admire you, chest rising and falling and eyes widening as he looks at you. 

Has anyone ever looked at you like that before? Like you are the most perfect creature to ever exist?

Mind you, you’re looking at him in much the same way. 

“You are so fucking beautiful, Lyd. You are. Let me show you how gorgeous you are.”

You smile shyly, still a little conscious of your body, and sit back on the side of the bed. 

Oh, shit. The sensible part of your brain butts in, abruptly. 

You need to talk about this now, not in the moment.

“Uh, Ben? Before you do that, can we maybe talk about, um, health and that?”

He looks confused. “Health? I had a cold in October but - oh. Yes. Yes. I get you.”

He scrabbles around for his pants. 

“What are you doing, Ben?”

“Getting my phone to show you my last screening results. We have the tests as an option on annual physicals and I had mine in August.” He locates his phone and looks at you fondly. “Just before you came over, as it happens.”

You bury your face in his shoulder, giggling affectionately. “Ben, love, I trust you. Just tell me, I don’t need to see them.”

He kisses the top of your head. “All good. And you?”

You nod, still feeling deeply awkward but relieved. “Also all good. Last test just before I came over. Funny, that. I’ve got a contraceptive implant thingy, as well.” You point out the little plastic device just under the skin of your upper arm. “And I haven’t been with anyone since, obviously.”

“Me neither.” He grins and whispers in your ear. “I did have a crush on someone in work, though.”

You smile and run a hand over the salt-and-pepper scruff along one side of his face. “A crush, huh? So you were waiting for them?”

He nods and kisses you softly as he gently encourages you to lie back on his bed, before swiftly discarding the candy cane socks and joining you in bed. 

For a couple of moments you just lie there together, hands trailing across each other’s bodies. You look at his handsome face, and the realisation that you’re actually going to sleep with him dawns. It triggers an unfortunate, involuntary surge of giggles.

“Why are you laughing?” He’s running his hand along the curve of your hip, fingers tugging at the waistband of your panties. 

“I’m not laughing, it’s just…” You start giggling again and hide your face against his broad shoulder.

“Okay, that’s definitely laughing. What did I do?”

You look at him and feel the affection and desire catch in your throat. “You didn’t do anything, baby, I’m sorry. It’s just - we’re basically naked and in bed together and…I’m excited?”

He laughs too, now, chest heaving as he pulls you tight and kisses you, slowly and deeply. You reach for his body, leg wrapping around his and one hand slipping to his hard cock while he caresses and sucks on your tits. His hand is inside your panties now, eagerly seeking out the warm, silky wetness of your folds. 

“Going to take these off, is that okay?” You nod, moaning as he tugs down the black fabric and lifting your hips so he can drag them over your ass. You kick them off as he rolls you against him, one hand grabbing the flesh of your ass while the other rubs small circles over your clit. 

You lean back slightly to look at him, your hands now tugging at the waistband of his boxer briefs. “I want you naked, too,” you murmur, breasts resting on Ben’s chest. “Want to go down on you for a little bit. Is that okay?”

His eyes widen. “God, yeah. Fuck, please, Lyd.”

His boxers discarded, you move down his body, one hand already gently stroking his hard length. You resist the urge that strikes you to drag your teeth over the soft flesh of his tummy, maybe even to bite him. 

You plant a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock, flicking your gaze up to meet his as you take him, hard as hell, between your lips, tongue gently flicking over the head. 

The gesture drives him crazy, and he groans, low and long.

“Fucking hell, you’re good at this. You’re really fucking good at this. So fucking…oh God, Lyd.”

You smile at the praise as you continue to take him deeper into your mouth, fingers tracing around the base of his cock and stroking him lightly. The bulge you’d first felt in his office earlier that evening did not disappoint. 

“Fuck, Lyd, I won’t last if you keep that up,” he hisses, breathing ragged as you use your tongue to lick up and down his shaft. 

Gently, you remove him from your mouth and push yourself back up the mattress, Ben’s strong hands guiding you back into place against the pillows. He drops his hand back to your soaking pussy as you feel the warm, solid softness of his body on yours. You inhale his masculine scent deeply: his cologne, leather, paper, and still a hint of wine from his lips. 

You never want to be anywhere but here. 

He begins to trace a line of kisses from your mouth down to your breasts and tummy, slowly bringing himself down the line of your body until he is nestled between your legs. He runs a finger along a patch of stretch marks on your hip before kissing them softly. With care and a kind of reverence, he plants kisses on the soft flesh of your belly, starting just under your belly button, and working his way down as far as the hair that covers your mound. 

He gently pushes your right leg out to make a little more room and open you up, lifting your leg over his shoulder, before beginning to lick purposefully at your glistening folds. You cry out with pleasure, one hand reaching back to grip the wooden headboard of the bed and the other dropping to the back of Ben’s head. You trail your fingers through his hair as he eats you out, moaning as the line of his nose nudges rhythmically against your clit while his tongue explores you.

It doesn’t take much to bring you back to the edge, and when he brings a finger up to massage you while his tongue slips in and out of your cunt, you come on his face, hips rolling up and back as you climax. 

He grins as he shifts his body back up the bed and you reach for him, pulling him in for a kiss so that you can taste yourself on his lips. He hums with pleasure and pulls back to look at you, rubbing a thumb gently against your cheek before nuzzling in at your neck. His weight against you is somehow devastatingly erotic and perfectly reassuring. 

He pulls back again and you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, opening your legs even wider as you feel the heavy, hard length of his cock pulsing against your core. He rolls one of your nipples between the tips of his fingers, letting his broad palm cup the soft flesh of your breast.

Your voice is quiet, but determined. “I want you to fuck me, baby. Please. Fuck me.”

“I’m going to, darling.” He drops a hand to your soaking pussy, making sure you’re ready. He looks deep into your eyes and you try to make a mental screenshot of this moment: what it feels like to have him above you, to have the weight of his body against yours, to feel the tip of his cock nudging at the lips of your cunt; to look into his eyes and see them dark with lust and warm with affection, to have him tracing his fingers across your mouth and jaw before asking, silently, for a final gesture of consent. 

You nod and gently move your hips down as if you’re going to take him into you all by yourself. He moans loudly, guiding himself slowly and steadily inside you until he bottoms out. The stretch makes you gasp, though it’s in no way painful. You close your eyes as you adjust to the sensation of him filling you, warm and heavy.

He’s looking deeply into your eyes when you open them again. “You okay?” He gently strokes the side of your face with his long fingers. 

“Mmmyeah,” you sigh, distracted by the pleasure of having him inside you. “You’re big, you know,” you murmur. “You’re such a big boy.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth you screw up your face with embarrassment. 

Lydia, what in the fuck was that? Did he already manage to fuck the filter out of you with his fingers? Did he induce some sort of malfunction in lydiabrain.exe?

Ben’s eyebrows are raised but you can tell he’s trying not to laugh. 

You’re fucking this up, Lyd, as usual. 

“Oh god I’m so cringe, I’m so sorry -“

He stops you with a chuckle and a soft, sweet kiss. “I mean, it’s a hell of a compliment.” He arches an eyebrow and looks endearingly smug. “Would you like your big boy to fuck you now?”, he purrs. 

This time, you’re the one who can’t help but giggle as you roll your eyes in mock horror at the cheesy line and he grins in response. You can’t remember the last time you felt this intimate with a lover. 

“I would like that very much. Move, Ben, please.”

He takes it slowly at first, keeping his body close to yours as he uses his hips to pull out and push back into your core, over and over. The rhythm is steady and insistent, and your body responds in kind, your hips moving to meet him and your legs widening and hitching up to take him even more deeply. 

He’s starting to increase the pace slightly and you whine, digging your fingers into his broad shoulders. “You feel so good, Lyd,” he pants, “so fucking good. So warm and tight.”

“You like how tight I am for you? You want to see how much I can take?” you coo in his ear as you trail your hands down his back before spreading your palms over his ass, triggering a growl from deep within his chest as he fucks you faster. 

“Want you to take it all, baby, know you can…” A grimace flashes across his face, though he doesn’t stop, and you wonder if something’s wrong. You bring your hands back up to his shoulders and run a finger along the bristling hair on his jawline.

“Are you okay? Do we need to stop?”

“Sorry, just a tight muscle somewhere -“ He looks a little sheepish, as if his body is letting him down.

“Hey,” you murmur, “get on your back. I want to fuck you on top.” His eyes widen with delight and you shift your bodies together, keeping him inside you as he eases carefully back onto the bed and you straddle him.

For a moment you stay just like that, quiet and still. He looks you up and down, smiling at the sight of you and brushing the tips of his fingers gently over the weight of your breasts and the curve of your hips and thighs. You run your hands over Ben’s chest, gazing at his body as if it were a treasure. When you start to trace your fingers over his tummy, he seems to shrink back a little, embarrassed by his physique. 

In response, you shift forward, pulling him out of you slightly so that you can lean in and run your tongue and mouth over the soft flesh of his stomach. He’s looking down his chest at you, and you look up from under your eyelashes. 

“This is a really sexy tummy, you know. Probably the sexiest I’ve ever seen in my life.”

A smile flickers across his face. “You don’t have to say that -“ 

You silence him by sinking back down onto his full length, pulling a cry from his lungs. With a roll of your hips you start to ride his cock, keeping your fingers on his tummy. As you pick up the pace he can’t keep his eyes off your breasts, and he greedily lifts himself up to suck on your nipples. The sensation of his tongue tracing the outline of each nipple is enough to throw you off, and you have to really concentrate on the rhythm you’ve set with your hips and ass.

Months of pent-up frustration and desire find their release as you fuck Ben harder and deeper, his hands digging into your hips and thighs. “Fucking hell, Lyd, you’re amazing,” he rasps, eyes flitting between the fluid movement of your hips and the bounce of your tits. “Feels amazing. Feel good for you, too?”

You nod, not wanting to break the rhythm. With a smirk, he slips a thumb to your clit and starts to rub circles over and around it. You cry out his name in response. 

“Fuck yes, Ben, keep doing that, keep doing…that’s it, fuck!”

“Are you going to come again for me, Lyd?”, he murmurs gently, the quiet of his voice in stark contrast to the obscene, wet noises coming from your cunt and the dirty talk he’s sent tripping from your tongue.

For the third time, the tightly-wound coil snaps deep inside you. You can feel your cunt pulsing around Ben’s cock as you ride out your peak, feeling him tightening between your legs. He’s close. He sits up, pausing to kiss you and to suck on your neck for a few moments while he caresses your tits, before easing you over and onto your back again so he can finish with you underneath him.

“You’re so close,” you whisper to him as he starts to fuck you again, hard and steady. “Let go, baby. Come for me.” 

He picks up the pace, the wetness of your pussy letting him take you as hard as he wants. He’s still holding back. 

“Let go. Come in me,” you purr, hitching your hips slightly to let him go even deeper. “I want your come in me.”

That’s enough to tip him over the edge, and Ben’s rhythm stutters and finally breaks. With a gasp and a shudder you feel him come, crying out as he fills you, cock buried deep within you and beads of sweat dripping from his chest onto your tits. 

He stays put for a moment or two, panting into your neck as he tries to pull himself together. You run your fingers through the soft curls of his hair and hold him close. 

“Thank you.”

His words are almost inaudible, barely a whisper, and you aren’t entirely sure if you’ve heard them or imagined them. You respond with a kiss to the top of his head. 

After a couple of moments Ben pulls away and gets out of bed, pulling the comforter around you before crossing from his bedroom to the bathroom across the hall. He returns with a washcloth and a towel, cleaning you up and gently drying you off. He places one more kiss on your belly and smiles, moving back up to join you at the head of the bed.

You lie close together, facing each other in a comfortable silence. He strokes a little pattern on the curve of your hip while you absent-mindedly trace a finger over the constellation of dark freckles across the top of his chest. 

He tilts your chin up to look at you, stroking your cheek as his big dark eyes gaze into yours. You plant a soft kiss on the little bare patch of skin along his jaw before shifting back to look - really look - at Ben’s face, mapping it with your eyes. The slight furrow between his brows. The line of his nose. The specific shape and colour of his lips. The little divot in his bottom lip. 

“Was - was that okay?” He looks at you intently with those big, baby cow eyes, waiting for a response. 

You are surprised by the question and by how quiet and awkward he sounds, given that he’s just made you come deeper and harder than you have in years. Or maybe ever.

Three. Fucking. Times.

“It was…” you search for the right word as you run your fingers over his strong bicep, “amazing. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard before, honestly. Was it good for you too?”

He blushes, a wide smile creeping across his face. “Pretty spectacular, Lyd. You on top? I mean…” He mimes fireworks exploding with his hands, and you bury your face in his chest as you laugh. You stay like that for a little while, tucked into his side with a big, stupid smile on your face and your arm wrapped around Ben’s tummy. He holds you close to him, tilting his head to rest on yours.

The gesture brings you back, suddenly, to Halloween. His arm around your waist. Your arm around his shoulders. His head resting against you, yours against his. 

Fuck, you two are idiots.

“We should have done this ages ago,” he murmurs, and you worry for a moment that he might be able to read your mind.

You reach for his hand, twining your fingers together. 

“Was it worth the wait, Ben?”

He squeezes you tightly. “Every fucking minute.”

It’s still comparatively early when you fall asleep (the joys of a 5pm party start time), you as the little spoon, Ben dozing off with an arm around you and his hand gently holding your breast. His body is warm and comforting against your back, and you listen for a couple of minutes to the sound of his breathing slowing, steadying, into sleep. 

You don’t sleep for very long - maybe an hour or two. You blink awake, noticing that the lamp is still on, and that Ben’s broad hand is still in place against your soft skin. You caress the back of his hand with yours, trying not to wake him but wanting to feel him under your fingertips again. 

“Mmmmm. Hi, baby.” He drowsily starts to kiss the back of your neck, and his fingers begin to squeeze lightly at your nipple. It grows hard and pert as he nuzzles into your neck, his mouth tracing a line of kisses along your shoulder. You are still wet from earlier, but can feel the ache building again between your legs. He shifts closer to you, and you feel his cock, hard again, pressing against your ass. 

You keen quietly with pleasure, still sleepy, your body starting to grind against his. He whispers a question into your ear, and in response you drag his hand down your body, lifting your leg ever so slightly so he can feel for himself.

“Christ, darling, this just from me playing with your tit?”

You hum your appreciation, nodding. “Mmmm. And the orgasms.”

He chuckles quietly. “Can I have you?” He shuffles down slightly, his hard length already notching at your thighs. 

“Always,” you purr, and he reaches around to tilt your face to his. He kisses you as he lifts your leg, drapes it over his, and carefully pushes inside you. The stretch is still new, but more familiar now, and you mewl a little as he bottoms out. 

It’s slow at first, intense and intimate as he works up a rhythm while still half-asleep. He moans into your neck as he fucks you gently, praising you over and over. “You feel so good, Lyddie,” he whispers, “taking it so well.” He sucks lightly at the crook of your neck, making you whimper with pleasure. 

“You’re so beautiful. Beautiful girl,” he sighs, rolling his hips firmly but slowly as he thrusts up into your pussy. 

“I lo-... I love y-your…body. So soft for me.”

“I love your body too, baby.” You drop a hand between your legs and touch yourself. As he realises what you’re doing, he picks up the pace, fucking you harder from behind until you come with a cry.

His hand drifts to your uppermost hip, holding you in place as he fucks - and talks - you through it. “That’s it, baby. You feel so good when you come like that for me. I lo-” 

You know he’s close, both from the stuttering rhythm and the fact he can’t use his words any more. He mutters and curses as his movements become more staggered. With a moan that seems to come from the depths of his soul, he spills into you with a final thrust, panting into your back as he stays inside you for a moment. 

You turn your mouth to his again, and he kisses you with hunger and gratitude.

You are both utterly wrecked, in every sense, lying flat out on the bed together as you come down from a shared high. 

“So I know you’ve got your flight tomorrow,” he says, fingers idly running up and down your forearm, and you brace yourself for him suggesting you should probably go home. 

“But if you’d like, you can stay the night? I can drive you to your place as early as you need.” 

“If you want me to? I don’t want to impose…”

He shakes his head. “It would be a pleasure. I want you to stay, you know? Would you like something to sleep in? A t-shirt?” You nod in response. He’s holding your hand, rubbing his thumb against your palm. 

He retrieves two T-shirts and a pair of boxers from a tallboy that stands against the opposite wall of the room, holding the shirts up for your approval. 

“REM 1999 tour shirt, or study abroad souvenir?” He really is gorgeous, you think, even when he’s standing naked making silly faces and pretending to model each shirt. Actually, especially when he’s doing that. 

“Ooh, vintage Universidad de Málaga 1996, please.” He crosses back to the bed and hands you the faded red cotton shirt before pulling on his own. 

“That’s a precious relic,” he says with mock seriousness. “It is a privilege to wear that shirt.”

“Understood. I respect the power of the shirt.” You bow your head, crossing your arms across your chest reverentially and he laughs gently. 

He clambers back into bed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close under the comforter. You rest your head on his shoulder, hands on his chest, and sneak little glances up at him. He’s already starting to drift to sleep, lids heavy and breathing slowing into a steady rhythm. 

Oh, fuck. He’s so gorgeous. He’s so beautiful.

The last word slips, unbidden, from your lips, and he looks confused for a moment before breaking into a gentle, sleepy smile. “So are you.”

The afterglow is cosy and safe. He holds you close with his strong arms, and your fingers are entwined with his. It is both new and familiar, strange and reassuring; a first time, and like you’ve been doing this forever.

(bookshelf divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more; other dividers by @cafekitsune)

Further A/N: They got there. They have a long way to go (please don't hate me - it can't all be sunshine and orgasms roses). Next chapter sees some more Christmas "cheer", albeit on other sides of the Atlantic.

Thank you so much if you've been with them this far - don't forget, of course, that Lydia is just visiting...

#visiting fic #visiting masterlist #mr ben snl #mr ben au #mr ben x ofc #mr ben fanfic #professor ben x ofc #professor!ben #professor!ben x ofc #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal #Youtube

[stormyweaver]

Alright, so never let it be said I'm not a hypocrite. I'm a huge one. But this has been sitting in my drafts for over two months and I need to post it since it's not going anywhere else lmao. PLUS I'm still reeling from my gnawing obsession with V/ox resurfacing after... y'know idk exactly what triggered it but it happened regardless.

Anyway I'm proud of my dialogue for this one bc that's always something I struggle with when writing, so yeah! Plus the idea of V/ox's first cold in Hell has always just been rattling around in my head. Also it's short, but sweet. So yeah! Enjoy!

Summary: V/ox finds out there are worse things than just being in Hell; like being sick in Hell. Alas/tor has a laugh at his expense every step of the way. ~~~

It had started as nothing but a minor annoyance. A dryness of the throat, which was typical for an early morning in Hell. Moisture wasn’t really a thing, even if you considered the fucking acid rain. Which Vox didn’t; that shit was genuinely the worst. But he’d at least had access to clean(ish) water, and cleared his throat a couple of times… the sensation still lingered. Well, it wasn’t anything for him to be overly concerned with. Besides, he had a meeting this morning with Alastor where they were going to discuss more hot-topic talking points for his radio show. 

The cloying, scratchy feeling in his throat still hadn’t gone away, even though it had been at least a couple hours since he first woke up. He made himself breakfast, something simple - eggs and toast, which… the fact that he was even able to scrounge up the materials to have a decent meal still startled him. It was Hell after all - everything was still jarring. 

He barely managed to choke down the slightly burnt edges of bread and too runny eggs (jeez, the food didn’t usually taste five star, but today was bad) before getting washed and dressed. The turtleneck he normally wore felt scratchier than normal, and he tugged at the collar in irritation. Even his antenna weren’t properly fitting into his hat… Gah - today had barely started and it was already a wash.

Well, he could at least look forward to seeing Alastor. Despite how every denizen in Hell he’d met so far had told him to steer clear of The Radio Demon, Vox hadn’t been able to say ‘no’ to him yet. Not once. Even when he’d suggested the damn hat giving him so much trouble now - silly, ridiculous even he’d thought when he first put it on. But one look at Alastor’s approving grin had dashed his worries easily. He’d do just about anything to have that look directed towards him again… Oof, was the heater on the fritz again? It was suddenly so warm.

Sniffing idly, Vox descended the steps of his apartment and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Ugh, it was warm out here too. Well… that wasn’t so much surprising as it was an inconvenience. Hell always seemed to be too warm, but today the pentagram striped sun seemed to beat down on his head with a particularly harsh intensity.

He rolled his neck with a soft grunt, fingers gripping the taught muscle with a grimace. You’d think after however many years (1, 3, more?) of living with a fucking television set for a cranium he’d have gotten used to the aches and pains that came along with it. Vox once again had to remind himself that it was Hell - there were worse things than stiff joints.

“Quite the lovely day we have upon us, isn’t it?”

“JESUS SHIT–!” Vox staggered to the side, his screen glitching slightly from the shock of Alastor’s voice directly beside him. “Wh– You have got to stop doing that, Al! One day I’m gonna get a fucking heart attack.”

Alastor’s grin seemed to widen, eerily. “Oh, I would highly advise against that, old pal! We’re dreadfully short on paramedics here in Pentagram City.” His shoulders shook lightly, obviously amused at his own joke. Vox simple deadpanned, though he fought against his mouth instinct to inch upwards at the corners. Despite being fucking sadistic, Alastor could also be pretty funny - when he wasn’t unsettling or downright terrifying. 

“Anyhow~! You look a bit… disheveled this morning!” Vox tilted his head; he’d said it as if it were the most delightful observation he’d made in ages, “Sleep on the wrong side of the bed, hm?”

“No? I… Well, I looked fine in the mirror.” He argued, smoothing down his shirt a bit self-consciously. Alastor hummed thoughtfully, reached a hand out to gently tug on the tag sticking out of Vox’s inside-out jacket. “I suppose that’s the cons of not having eyes in the back of one’s head, haha!” 

Vox snorted as he began to shrug out of the denim. “Right, like you do?...” He trailed off, giving Alastor a once over. “You- you don’t, right?” 

“Oh, heavens no! But I do have my ways of seeing things others might easily miss.” His ears twitched slightly when Vox sniffed, and his head craned to one side unnaturally. Curious. 

Vox had barely gotten his jacket smoothed out, gaze flicking back to Alastor - only to find the other’s face mere inches from his own. He flinched, feeling heat creep up along his neck as he rose a brow, tentatively inching back. “Is… something else wrong?”

After far too long of a beat, the pinstriped demon snapped back into his place on the sidewalk, giving another curious hum. “Nothing at all, dear. Now! Enough dawdling - shall we get a move on? Rolling stones and such!” Without waiting for an answer, Alastor began walking down the pavement, and Vox blinked before following after him.

'He’s being extra weird today. Wonder why?' Although Vox had long since given up on making sense of Alastor’s every behavior. He’d go absolutely insane to even try. The guy… sinner… demon was nothing short of a fucking enigma, someone most insisted was to be feared and meant to stay FAR FUCKING AWAY from. Maybe Vox was foolish to still consider him good company, but it wasn’t as though he had other sinners breaking down his door to befriend him, let alone ones he actually found himself sharing common interests with. 

Plus… the guy was charming, when he wasn’t being wholly off-putting. And even then, Vox didn’t really mind that side of him. He was just quirky. 

As they walked and made conversation, Vox found his throat going from scratchy to genuinely sore and aching. He was clearing it more often, and trying not to be off-put by the odd, static distorted quality it would get every now and again. Alastor for his part seemed to be indifferent - thank goodness - but Vox felt a small mound of worry forming in his gut. Not for his throat, but something else was… well, no other way to describe it but itching in the back of his head. Like a clothes tag itching at the back of your neck, except it was directly behind his eyes, insistent and growing steadily as they walked.

Eventually, Vox’s steps slowed, and he began to blink rapidly. 

Alastor matched his pace until they were both standing still, the radio demon looking both curious and… oddly expectant. 

Vox gave his head a trembling shake, the feeling seeming to pulse before climbing higher.

“Hahh…?” The inhale swept through his lungs, causing them to seize up as his chest rose and fell unsteadily. His screen flickered as he continued to pant unevenly, a hand raising to mid-chest. Wait, this was all oddly familiar: the gasping, the build up, this itch... was he going to…? He hadn’t even noticed Alastor taking a precautionary step back before–

“heh’AAKKTTSCHHUE!!”

His head snapped forward, and Vox barely - just barely stopped the rest of his body from joining it in tumbling down. The raised hand held onto the top of his head in an attempt at steadying it, and he managed to right himself with a huge gasp. 

“Fucking shit–!!” He exclaimed, chest muscles heaving from the absolute workout straightening back up. He blinked again, before wincing and gripping the side of his head with a groan. “Fuck, fuck my head...” 

“Well, well!” Alastor tittered, clapping his hands together a few times, “Quite the performance, my good man! Quite the show!” Giddiness radiated from him, a stark contrast to the pained misery staining Vox’s features. 

“Nghh… did I just… sneeze?” It felt far more arduous than Vox recalled it *ever* being when he was alive. Then again, he’d never had to sneeze while trying to keep himself from falling on his ass. This really was Hell, wasn’t it?

“That’s the the term most would use, yes! Not quite used to it with your new hardware, eh?” Vox winced at the tap of Alastor’s staff against his head. 

“No, I’m not. Fuck, that was awful… snf!” He raised a finger to scrub against the middle of his face, and Alastor laughed gleefully when his companion realized he didn’t have a nose to actually rub. “... you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Oh, most assuredly, my dear!” His smile didn’t falter once when Vox began to pout, “Now don’t give me that look, it’s all in good fun!” 

Despite his insistence, Vox rolled his eyes. “I don’t see what’s so ‘fun’ about feeling like absolute shit.” Maybe if it was some other sucker sure, but it wasn’t.

“So you are feeling unwell!” Alastor interrupted his thoughts, then clasped his hands together in delight, “Oh, I’d hoped that was the case!” 

“Wait, what?”

Now it was Alastor’s turn to roll his eyes. He stepped closer to Vox, lifting the bottom of his head with his staff. “Tell me, dear - does your throat ache? Do you feel a bit warmer than usual? Perhaps a little… fuzzy in the head?” 

Vox made a slight face. “How… did you know all of that?” He hated when Alastor would do this - toy with him instead of just getting right to the point. He was already feeling like garbage, what was the point of making him think when– wait…

“Ah, the cogs seeme to be turning now, yes?” Alastor’s grin was almost too eager. Vox shuffled back a bit, rubbing the side of his head as he tried to process the conclusion he’d come to. 

“Wait, I… I can get sick? In Hell? That’s a thing?!” 

“Oh, you just make this better and better, truly!” Alastor grinned gleefully, completely ignoring the panic radiating off of Vox. “But yes, you can fall ill in Hell, of all places. I assumed you knew that–”

“HOW would I have ever known that? it’s fucking news to me!”

“Well obviously,” The way Alastor rolled his eyes was enough to potentially give Vox an ulcer. Was he capable of having those, too? Why didn’t he put the pieces of still being biologically able to fall ill together sooner?! Or better yet - why hadn’t Alastor told him, since he seemed to be so fucking knowledgeable on the subject! However it seemed that his flaring irritation would have to take a momentary backseat - that awful sensation was back, almost worse than before, and a shudder rippled along Vox’s spine before it grew uncomfortably stiff. “Hahh… hhh…?” His screen flickered with static as his breathing continued to waver, a hand rising in more impulse than actual desire to cover his mouth. Even through his fluttering lids, he could feel Alastor watching him, eager and yet patient. As if this entire situation wasn’t confounding enough, embarrassing enough, the person he least wanted to be present now had a front row seat. Take a picture, it’ll last longer nestled just on the tip of his tongue, but another sharp inhale reminded him that talking likely wasn’t the smartest option. Not while his head still felt like it was full of fuzzy, restless static–

“ehh-hahH! EA’KTTSCHHHUE!” 

Though not as large as his initial sneeze, it still sent him staggering forward harshly. His screen was almost parallel with his hips in the process, and when he righted, it felt as if rising from being submerged in water for too long. His head, his neck, his core - everything ached, all from a sneeze. He didn’t bother masking a groan. 

“Fuck…” Although his discomfort might as well have meant jack-shit when countered with Alastor’s reaction. The bastard was laughing, as if seeing Vox nearly topple over from a sneeze was just about the funniest damned thing he’d seen in decades. Vox’s temple throbbed painfully as he glared at the Radio Demon, who was dabbing at the edges of his eyes with one corner of a handkerchief. 

“Oh goodness me - you certainly don’t do anything by halves, do you?” 

“You act like I did that on purpose.” Vox countered with a roll of his eyes, sniffling which… if he didn’t have a nose or sinuses, shouldn’t have been an action he could carry out. But there were multiple facets of Hell that technically didn’t make sense. Apparently this was just one among the hundreds of others. 

Alastor didn’t offer much in the way of a response. If anything, he was eerily silent, but his gaze penetrated Vox straight through to his damned soul. Vox felt warmth creep up along his neck. 

“If you’re waiting for it to happen again, you’re shit outta luck.”

Though he said it with confidence, he was internally dreading the moment another sneeze would grab hold of him. Alastor simply shrugged, but his gaze still held that air of anticipation. 

“Suit yourself. It’s certainly no skin off my nose.” His smile widened a fraction when Vox growled under his breath. 

Cyan-tipped fingers scrubbed along the surface of his screen, a bit harsher than was necessary. The irritation wasn’t as strong as before, but it lingered just out of his reach; strong enough to make it’s presence known, but not enough to trigger another sneeze. 

By the time he’d grown tired of uselessly assaulting his own face, Alastor was already a good couple of steps ahead of him. Apparently he’d grown tired of waiting for the ‘show’ to continue.

Shoulders sagging with another liquid-tinged sniffle, Vox reluctantly broke into a jog in order to catch up with him. 

Yeah. Today was definitely going to be… entertaining. 

#greywrites; #(i've gotta get a fucking tagging system going) #next on my long long incredibly long list of things to do #but yeah i'm super happy that i finally finished this #hope y'all enjoy~ #btw couldn't find someone to beta read this we goin' in RAW

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 02/18/2024

Nerdie! What is new this week?

Welp, I passed my math class (yup - mid thirties in a math class 🤨 it was required). Thankfully it's the only one. I've got one more and then I can look forward to the next term. I think my orientee's last week is this week, I have more stickers to stick on people at work and I burned some candles.

We're glad you burned candles? We're not sure what to say to that. Happy for everything else though. Any new fics?

Just two for the week, I've been focused on my classes so I've been putting out less finished work and prepping series that I have planned:

Don't assume on Valentine's Day - Ezra x plus size female reader (Yup, I wrote a Valentine's fic, just barely? It's mentioned but not the focus. Implied smut, some angst, fluff. All in one.)

Wrong Beach and a Speedo - Javier Gutierrez x Abigail (plus size OFC) I finally started my Javi G series! Is it fluffy like his hair? Yes. Will it stay that way? Mostly only because we gotta move the plot along. 80% fluff, 15% smut adjacent (subject to change, could be less) and 5% violence. Like very small. No worries. Unsure about how many parts, maybe 5-7?

We're not sure about those percentages, but they do add up to 100% so we'll see. You can't be mean to Javi G Nerdie! You can't!

Who said I was? What do you take me for?

*reminds Nerdie of Tim, Frankie, Joel, and Javi P and their truama*

👀 I mean, I get it but no worries. Let's talk about what I read this week alright. Jeez...

Salt + Pepper by @soft-girl-musings (Moon Boys and fem reader)

You be my revolver, I've got you in my hands by @winniethewife (Jake Lockley x fem reader)

Happy Tuesday! by @maggiemayhemnj (Joel Miller x fem reader)

Special Day for a special girl by @winniethewife (Blue x fem reader)

Compulsion by @iamskyereads (Ezra x OFC Beatrice)

Misunderstanding by @romanarose (Marc Spector x fem reader)

Captain's Orders by @laurfilijames (Will Miller x fem reader)

Bloom by @violentdelightsandviolentends (Bucky x fem reader)

Helping Hand by @izelascendant (Din Djarin x OFC)

Perks of being a Wallflower by @soft-girl-musings (Jake Lockley x plus size fem reader)

Stiff by @idolatrybarbie (Maxwell Lord x fem reader) part of PMAMC 2024

Same Time Next Week by @magpiepills (Marcus Moreno x fem reader) part of PMAMC 2024

Pop Goes the Javi by @morallyinept (Javier Peña x fem reader) part of the PMAMC 2024

Flying to New Heights by @fettuccin-e (Frankie Morales x fem reader)

Sadly, some of these had been in my drafts folder way too long. I went from 38 this evening to 33... 🫣 To be fair, All of these I have reblogged, I have just been adding more things to read. So many wonderful things to read. 😭 An excellent problem to have.

Anyway, I should have chapter two of my Javi G fic up this week on Wednesday. Not sure what else. I'll try a Drabble. If I can keep it that short. Maybe about Javi P, Frankie or Santiago. I owe them nice things. 😘

Have a great week everyone! 🥰

Love Nerdie! 💜

P.S. One might see there's been any uptick in Oscar Isaac fics, @for-a-longlongtime is to blame for sending me all the Santi gifs she seemed to have. 👀 My eyes didn't complain though. 😂

#Weekend update #Nerdie's weekend update #pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #nerdie fic rec #frankie morales #joel miller #din djarin #the mandalorian #jake lockley #ezra #javier gutierrez #Javier Peña #Maxwell lord #marcus moreno #marc spector #bucky barnes #blue #moon boys

[detectivesofty]

loving you (is killing me) | j.h.

Summary: you’ve always known that dating a detective comes with risks, but you've never realized that it was even more dangerous to be split from said detective.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Author’s Note: this has been sitting in my drafts for two years so I decided to post it now lmao, happy reading

Warnings: mention of sex trafficking, alcohol and violence

Word Count: 3,4k

“Come on Y/N, you can’t be wasting away at home just because Jay broke up with you.”

“Stop being such an asshole, it’s barely been a week.”

Vanessa pursed her lips and plopped down on the couch next to you, pulling you close so you could lean your head on her shoulder. “I am sorry. I wasn’t trying to be an asshole. I know you’re hurting.”

And you were.

You and Jay have been dating for a long time. You’ve even been talking about your future together, getting a bigger apartment. But recently Jay’s been… Distant. And you weren’t sure if it was something you did or something you said. You never even found out what it was before he broke it off, and moved out of your apartment. After three fricking years. Just like that.

“If you want to, I can go punch Jay in the face, even if I run into the possibility of Hailey punching me.”

“Honestly, I don’t see Hailey wanting to punch you. You and Jay would just end up in a boxing match.”

The only thing that was keeping you from actually wasting away was that Vanessa was also going through a break up. The only difference here was that, while you were the dumpee, Vanessa was the dumper. Which you still didn’t quite understand, if you were being honest.

“I still don’t get why you broke things off with Hailey. I liked the two of you together. She was good for you.”

Vanessa sighed and unceremoniously shrugged with her shoulders, which were uncharacteristically strained. “Everything happened so fast and things were super intense with Hailey, I felt like the relationship was just breezing past me. I just needed to press pause for a second, you know?”

You pulled away to raise an eyebrow at Vanessa. This was the first time she had admitted out loud that this wasn’t a ‘pause’ and merely a bad patch in their relationship.

“Pause huh?”

“Shut up.”

Grinning, you tucked yourself back in Vanessa’s side, keeping your thoughts to yourself. You knew that Hailey and Vanessa eventually would end up together again, it was obvious that Vanessa still had feelings for her. They’d work it out. But then again, you had thought that you and Jay would work things out and where did that get you?

“Ugh, Jay’s such an asshole.”

“So we’re back on your thing, huh?”

“I am sorry, did you want to keep trying to tell me that you don’t want Hailey back?”

“Okay okay, we’re back on your thing. Jeez, woman. But you know my thoughts on this. Let’s go out. Fuck Jay. You’re a catch and you know it.”

Puffing out an exhale, you thought over Vanessa’s suggestion. She wasn’t telling you to date other people, just to go out, have some fun and distract yourself. As you thought over her words, you realized that while this wasn’t what you needed per se, it was obviously something that she needed, judged by the downcast look Vanessa was wearing whenever she thought you weren’t looking at her.

“Fine, let’s go out.”

Vanessa turned to you so quickly, you were worried she’d give herself whiplash, but she looked ecstatic, judged by her wide eyes. “Really?!”

“Yes, but please don’t make me regret this decision,” you groaned when she pulled you off of the couch and into your bedroom.

The next half hour, the two of you spent your time looking for outfits to wear to the ‘new hottest club in Chicago’ as Vanessa has put it. After fighting Vanessa for wanting to put you in the skimpiest outfit you’ve ever seen, you two agreed on some jeans and a decent top that showed some skin, but not all of it “Fine, be a prude, but if I had your assets, I’d sure as hell show them off.” You put some makeup on before you deemed it enough for a night out.

“Ugh,” you huffed when you got out of the cab. Apparently this really was the hottest club in Chicago based on how long the line to get in was. “Maybe this is a sign that we should go back home,” you said to Vanessa, trying to get her back to the cab, but your friend grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t be silly, we don’t have to stand in line. Come on, my guy’ll let us in.” With those words, she all but dragged you to the entrance and greeted the bouncer. “Hey Steve. This is my girl Y/N.”

Steve grinned at Vanessa and greeted her with a half hug. “Hey V. Your girl huh?”

“Oh, not like that,” you laughed and Steve nodded with a wink before he jerked his head towards the door.

“Get in. But don’t cause any trouble.”

“Can’t make any promises!” Vanessa called over her shoulder before the two of you headed inside the club and it felt like you had entered a completely different world. The music that was playing nearly deafened you and the decoration with the lights made the club look like an expensive version of every other club in Chicago.

“This is insane!” you yelled over the music and Vanessa grinned at you, mouthing told you so. Even though you didn’t even have a drop of alcohol in your system, you wanted to dance.

“Let’s go dance!”

Vanessa laughed at your sudden eagerness but complied anyway, stopping by the dance floor before you hit the bar. And as you found yourself crowded in by dancing people and with a laughing Vanessa by your side, you had realized that this was exactly what you needed after all. It seemed like the DJ was on your side too, as he kept playing one banger after the other and you felt obligated to keep dancing.

“Hey, wanna go grab a drink?” Vanessa asked and you gaped at her, waving your hands around.

“Are you kidding? During this song?”

She rolled her eyes at you, but it was obvious that she was pleased. “I’ll grab us drinks. G and T?”

You gave her a thumbs up and she disappeared into the crowd after a mere second. Strangely, you didn’t feel less comfortable now that Vanessa wasn’t by your side to shield you from strangers anymore and you just kept dancing and enjoying yourself. After Vanessa hasn’t returned after two more songs, you started to get worried. As you tried to find your way off of the dance floor by squeezing past a bunch of drunk people, while simultaneously keeping an eye out for Vanessa, you found a familiar face at the bar.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you muttered to yourself and immediately averted your eyes. “Where the heck is Vanessa?” You weaved through the crowd and made sure to put as much distance between you and him as possible, but you knew it was to no avail when a hand gently wrapped around your wrist.

“Jay.”

“Y/N. Are you avoiding me?”

With a deep breath, you turned around to face your ex and looked up at him defiantly. “And what if I was?”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Jay sighed softly and you tugged your wrist out of his grip, glaring at him.

“I am pretty sure you lost the privilege of trying to tell me what to do Jay.”

“That’s not what I meant. I am working. We’re trying to catch a guy who’s been kidnapping drunk women from clubs and sex trafficking them across the border.”

“What? I haven’t seen Vanessa for a while, have you-”

“She’s with Hailey, don’t worry.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “Of course she is.” At least one of you got your happy ending.

Jay opened his mouth, no doubt to tell you to go home but he paused, as if someone was talking to him. You guessed that someone from the team was saying something through the earpiece. His jawline tightened before he turned his attention back to you.

“Find Vanessa and go home. I have to go. Adam said he saw Keller leaving the club with a woman, so you should be safe. But please. Go home.”

His voice was incredibly small, you could barely hear him over the loud music. It almost made your walls crumble. Almost.

“I can take care of myself,” you hissed and sharply turned on your heel to get away from him. You located the bathroom and went inside, leaning against the sink to collect your thoughts for a second.

Jay seemed so vulnerable, worried. But maybe it was just the lights. By the way he just unceremoniously dumped you, it didn’t seem like he cared a bit about you. With a deep exhale, you exited the bathroom, immediately running into someone.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Y/N?”

You looked up at him in confusion for a bit before you recognized who it was. “Steve, right. Sorry. Have you seen Vanessa?”

“Yeah I saw her earlier. Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost,” he asked and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“I am fine,” you said with a small smile.

“Why don’t you come back to the break room with me? Vanessa said she’d swing by, it’s probably easier to find her like that.”

You considered it briefly, but since Steve was a friend of Vanessa, you didn’t think for long. “Sure, that’d be nice.”

You followed Steve through the club, until you reached a door that almost wasn’t visible because it was the same color as the wall. Steve ushered you inside quickly and shut the door behind you. The break room was small, with two shelves lining the walls, a table and a couple of chairs in the middle.

“Come on, sit.”

With a long sigh, you plopped down on the nearest chair and leaned your head in your hand. Despite not wanting to follow Jay’s plea, you really did want to go home. But you weren’t going to let Vanessa stay here by herself, so you really hoped that she’d come by soon.

“Too much to drink?” Steve asked in amusement and you only shook your head.

“No, not even a drop.”

Steve chuckled and put a cup of water on the table, offering it to you.

“Thanks.” You took a big gulp of the water, before frowning at the weird aftertaste. “Is there alcohol in this?”

“What?” he laughed, shaking his head. “Of course not. It’s just water.”

Nodding slowly, you put the cup back on the table, eyeing it suspiciously. “Maybe I should just go find Vanessa. I don’t want to bother you,” you said quickly, standing up from the chair to leave, but somehow everything started swaying like there was an earthquake.

“Maybe you should just stay here” Steve said with a dark voice, pushing you back into the chair harshly. “I think you had too much to drink.”

“Sorry guys, false alarm. It was just a drunk couple. Keller is still somewhere inside,” Adam’s voice crackled through the earpiece and Jay cursed, balling his hands in a fist. He should’ve made sure it really was Keller before leaving you all by yourself.

“Fuck!”

He moved into a lesser busy corner of the club and slipped his radio out of his pocket. “Hailey? Where are you? Are you still with Vanessa? Where is Y/N?”

“I am outside with Vanessa, we couldn’t find Y/N.”

“She wouldn’t leave without me,” Vanessa chimed in, her voice muted. “She must still be inside.”

“Are you serious right now? Are you-?”

Jay was growing angrier and angrier by the second. This was exactly what he was afraid would happen. That you’d be in danger because of him. He paced back and forth, trying to think of a plan.

“Kim and Adam, search the entire club, Kevin, you take the top floor. Hailey, make sure to cover all the exits,” Voight’s voice rang through the radio. “And Vanessa… I know you’re not a part of Intelligence anymore, but we could really use your help.”

“On it Sarge,” Vanessa’s voice sounded through the radio and Jay shut his eyes, trying to get his head in order.

“Jay, don’t lose your cool. Just because we can’t find Y/N doesn’t mean Keller has her.”

“Wait, wait, hold on a minute,” Vanessa said, sounding breathless. “You guys are looking for Keller? As in Steve Keller?”

“Yes, why?”

“Oh god. He’s the bouncer of the club, right?”

“Yes, Vanessa get to the point,” Jay hissed into the radio.

“I know him, he’s- he’s a friend of mine and he let Y/N and me cut the line earlier.”

“Fuck! Are you fucking serious? Where the hell is that guy?” Jay snapped into the radio, his blood running cold.

“I don’t know!” Vanessa exclaimed.

“If he’s working here he could be in any of the staff rooms, check those rooms first.”

As soon as Jay heard those words, he raced through the club, hoping he was going to get to you in time. He pushed his way through the club, earning several dirty glances from party goers, but he didn’t spare them a second look. Jay only had one thing in mind.

You squirmed in the chair and it was hard to control your limbs. Steve had only tied you lightly, probably thinking that whatever he had dosed your water with, would render you defenseless. But you weren’t going to give up without a fight. You freed yourself from the zipties just like Jay once taught you and as Steve was talking with someone on the phone, you quietly stood up from the chair. Your stealthiness was unfortunately betrayed by a flimsy piece of tin foil you stepped on. Steve’s eyes were immediately on you and he harshly grabbed you by the arm.

“I have to take care of something,” Steve said into the phone before hanging up, backhanding you across the face, making you fall on the floor like you were made of paper. Wincing, you wiped your hand over your face and when you looked at it, there was blood all over.

“Steve, please let me go, you don’t have to do this,” you pleaded with the offender but he paid you no attention. He taped your mouth shut and tied your hands together tightly, adding tape for good measure.

You tried wriggling out of the zipties but it was no use. They were too tight and with the way you were lying on the floor, there was no way for you to get away. A single tear rolled down your face. You knew all the dangerous people Jay had to deal with and all the victims they left behind, but you never would’ve expected that this would happen to you.

Suddenly, the door was kicked open.

“Chicago PD! Show me your hands!”

You nearly started crying again when you saw Jay standing in the door, his gun trained on Steve as Adam and Kim hurried to pin Steve to the floor, cuffing him.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Jay asked, crouching down to check up on you. He gently removed the tape from your mouth and wiped the tears from your face, he was frowning so hard, you were afraid the frowns were etched into his face permanently.

“I am okay, I am okay,” you assured him, your voice croaky. You tried to give him a reassuring smile but your face hurt so much.

Jay exhaled softly, and then sat you up, cutting the tape and ties off your hands. “I was so worried,” he said quietly and stroked your cheek gently. “I thought I was too late. I am sorry, this is all my fault.”

“What?” You spluttered. “How is this your fault?”

“I… I broke up with you because I thought you’d be safer if you weren’t dating me. I was just trying to protect you and instead I pushed you into harm’s way.”

“This is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard,” you told him with a huff, before you coughed violently.

“Come on, let’s get you checked out,” Jay said and helped you up, walking outside of the club with you. The place was surrounded by police and people were standing around, either drunk or confused. Jay led you to the ambulance and sat you down. “I’ll have to check things with Voight and then I’ll be right back, okay?” He turned to the medic, pushing one finger into his chest.

“Keep an eye on her and make sure she’s alright okay?”

The medic nodded and turned their attention to you, tending to your wounds and bruises as Vanessa ran up to you, all breathless.

“Y/N, oh my god, are you okay?” She asked, grabbing you by the shoulders gently, nearly pushing the medic over. “Sorry, I need to check on my friend for a minute,” Vanessa said and the medic rolled his eyes, before he disappeared around the corner of the ambo.

“I can’t believe your guy is a sex trafficker, V,” you said, pulling a face at her and Vanessa frowned, wrapping her arms around you tightly.

“I am so sorry. I should have known that he was a bad guy.”

“How? With your supernatural senses? Come on, it’s not your fault.”

“Still. I would have wacked that asshole straight to county if Voight would’ve let me.”

You gave her a self-deprecating smile without pulling the stitches. “I am sure you would’ve.” You saw Hailey a few feet back and smiled at her before turning back to Vanessa. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah, I hope so,” Vanessa said, following your gaze to the blonde before her attention was shifted to a conversation between Jay and the medic that was taking place around the corner.

“-and you barely bandaged her wounds, are you kidding me?”

“That officer basically ran me over, what do you want me to do, Detective?”

“What about you?” Vanessa asked with a raised eyebrow as she turned back to you and you shrugged with your shoulders, biting back a laugh.

“I think we’ll be okay.”

“Rojas, out. Y/N needs a medic,” Jay said with the medic basically by the nape of his neck and Vanessa only mouthed “protective!” at you, before she ducked out.

“Seriously Jay. Stop fretting so much. I am fine.”

“You’re anything but fine. You’re hurt.”

“Not any worse than what you did,” you muttered and Jay sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Okay, out,” Jay told the medic who threw his hands up in frustration, walking off but not before muttering a very distinctive “Cops.” under his breath. Jay turned his attention back to you, cradling your hands. “I know I hurt you. But I wanted to protect you. Do you know what kind of target I am putting on your back by just being with you?”

“This isn’t news to me, Jay. I’ve always known that. But it’s been three years and then you suddenly just realized that? Sounds like bullshit to me.”

Jay sucked the air in sharply and he pressed his lips together, before he pulled a ring out of his pocket, showing it to you. Your eyes widened comically as you stared at the ring before you looked back up to Jay.

“Did I hit my head too hard or is that a ring?”

“I’ve been wanting to propose for a while now.”

“And the logical thing to do is break up with me, of course.”

Jay gave you a look that told you to be quiet and you pressed your lips together, though you couldn’t hold back your smile.

“The prospect of proposing to you, it made me realize how important you are to me and how I would literally lose my mind if anything ever happened to you, especially if it’d be because of me. I thought I’d protect you by breaking up with you and staying away, but tonight proved how wrong I was.”

There was a pause and you looked at him, blinking.

“... Do you always just carry that ring around, or…?”

“Y/N.”

“Right, serious talk,” you cleared your throat as he raised an eyebrow at you. “What? I am not saying yes, Jay. You haven’t even aske- get up!” You flushed when Jay got down on his knees and looked around, hoping no one had caught that. “We’re not even dating right now. Just… There are a lot of things to talk about and if all of those are resolved, you can ask. Properly.”

And a couple of weeks later he did, very very cheesily and over the top to your dismay. Secretly, you loved it, though.

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead fanfic #jay halstead fic #one chicago #chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #detectivesofty

[iseesound]

𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃! 𝐑𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐨, “҉T҉r҉a҉n҉s҉c҉e҉n҉d҉“҉

Aired 01.26.23

Featuring music from Lauren Auder, Alice Coltrane, FKA Twigs, and more. Listen on Spotify and Apple Music.

I first made this set as a test run for the Listening Party events I wanted to do at UIC’s School of Design. With the intention to play it right after students got out of class, I chose to begin with “in god’s childlike hands” by Lauren Auder. Which I first heard play in Virgil Abloh’s last show for LV. This song builds up perfectly, the instruments slowly building up, mimicking an almost alien like forest coming into view, (reminds me of Bjork’s Utopia), I found it fitting that the ‘siren’ that starts around the 2:30 mark almost resembles a police siren, seeing how UIC is in the city.

The next three songs, are a part of what I like to call a ‘run’, where I let the songs play without introduction. “Hyperballad” by Bjork, “Cicada,” by Sega Bodega, and “How Does It Feel,” by Pharrel Williams. These three songs have very similar beats, where it almost sounds as if its reverbing in on itself. (In my head I picture it as the sound bounces off the walls of a narrow hallway.) They transition into each other pretty well despite the difference in genre and overall sounds.

Originally White Willow Bark” by MF DOOM was meant to be an interlude to allow me to explain the set’s overall theme, I did in fact forget when it came to the actual show. However, this interlude does serve to help cut into a different sound. While choosing the music for the set, I kept in mind, what “transcend” meant to me in terms of music. It could mean synths, psychadelia, techno, jazz, hypnotic or grandiose. Listening to “Windowlicker”, specifically A.G Cook’s cover I was immediately impressed at the level of complexity its made with. (Hypnotic techno, smells like sangria). I knew I had to incorporate it somehow. From 4:50, the song is so chaotic its amazing how it doesn’t get muddy, A.G Cook is. a. genius.

The next run in this set is quiet long, “home with you,” by FKA Twigs, “Love’s the Only Way,” by Cage The Elephant, and “Journey into Satchidanada,” by Alice Coltrane and Pharoah Sanders. The perfect example of the beauty that is the Spotify Crossfade. There is no way I would have ever come across this if it hadn’t been for my friend’s suggestion of Cage The Elephant, it was almost by mere coincidence that the two were together in the early draft of the set. “home with you” has these beautiful flutes playing at the end that call back to “in god’s child like hands”. The way it ends, and transitions to “Love’s the Only Way” almost makes it sound as if it were the same song for a moment. If it hadn’t been for the collaboration between Online Ceramics and Alice Coltrane I would have never been introduced to the world of psychedelic jazz that she had created. Her music is incredibly immersive and has a world-building quality to it.

The final run, is made up of “Lucy in The Sky With Diamonds,” by The Beatles, “For Sale?,” by Kendrick Lamar, and “Frosti,” by Bjork (again, yes). Transitioning from Alice Coltrane into The Beatles seemed incredibly fitting, both songs are gorgeous examples of immersive psychadelia, (and both have long titles, jeez). I remember sitting in my 7th grade health class and hearing “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” for the first time, reading the lyrics, and having a discussion on LSD right after and its effects. I don’t remember much of the discussion, I do however remember going home and listening to the song over and over again. “For Sale,” being placed right after “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” the groovy synths and the reverb in the song, along with the references of Lucy over and over, it sounds as if Kendrick is talking about the same Lucy The Beatles sing about. The chime that plays at the end perfectly transitions into the music box that plays in “Frosti,” which comes from Bjork’s album “Vespertine,” which serves as an interlude. Two interludes placed right after the other, who would have thought they would work so well.

The final two songs, I feel, serve as a conclusion, restating the sonic themes from the set. “Bliss,” by Yung Lean and FKA Twigs, (yep, again) and “Falaise,” by Floating Points. With the repeating guitar, the chime, layered with Twigs’s ethereal vocals, along with the lyrics “and I’m seeing sounds.” “Bliss” was the perfect song to close the show. However, there was still time left for me to play one more song. I discovered “Falaise,” on a random spotify playlist one day. It became one of my favorite songs. (It wasn’t until later I would learn the Virgil also used this song in his FW 22 show in Bangkok.) With its hypnotic rhythms, filled with flutes resembling Auder’s “in god’s childlike hands,” the song ends the set with a grandiose transcendental finale.

#fka twigs #yung lean #virgil abloh #falaise #Spotify #apple music #playlist #music #audiophile #sega bodega #arca #cage the elephant #alice coltrane #psychadelia #psychadelic #jazz #a. g. cook #bjork #mf doom #kendrick lamar #pharrell williams #synethesia #radiostation #internet radio #radio #college radio

[sukehiroselei]

BLACK CLOVER SPOILERS

My God, it was torture having to go to work and sit with my excitement for 8 hours and not be able to properly (coherently) react to one of the best chapters released! I'll try to break down why I'm super duper hyped about it:

1. Acier/Morgen

I predicted Morgen's return; there was no way that this character so closely related to devils wouldn't be resurrected, but Acier was a pleasant(?) surprise. I thought it would have been cool to see her paladinized, and well, what do you know!

Lucius is one nasty mf for reviving characters for maximum emotional damage. I respect it.

2. Jack the Ripper

Listen, I don't think Jack's going to die. Because this is Black Clover, and honestly, Tabata never needed to kill characters for shock value, and it's also just not that type of shounen. The biggest question is how Jack will survive, or if he becomes paladinized as well.

He's one of the most interesting characters in the verse. I hope we get a more fleshed out characterization of him— perhaps a flashback of young Jack?—maybe Yami's reaction that one of his good friends just became a donut...

It is also my headcanon that Jack is a YamiChar supporter (but mostly Charlotte, not Yami). Will I elaborate? Possibly.

3. YAMICHAR

GOOD GOD, IS OUR SHIP SAILING?!

Everyone on Twitter/Reddit seems to think it's a Death Flag, and in the name of Jesus and Tabata, I rebuke that evil spirit. Like, not to be dramatic, but I think I would break down if one of them dies. I would riot to the streets probably idk

Yami again honing in on that little tidbit that Charlotte can't drink by asking her out to tea?!? Jeez Louise, so precious. Funny too, because I have a rough draft of a fic from last week that they went out to tea. Yami repaying the favour from dinner last time yk?

Like please, I just need to see them happy lol >:( But tbh, this shit should have happened after Spade.

Anyways rant over. Thanks for reading if you got this far??

#bc spoilers #black clover spoilers #yamichar #yami x charlotte #acier silva #morgen faust #jack the ripper black clover #e rants about bc

[weebsinstash]

Honestly one thing I immediately notice about all my wips for hades is like. I can tell I was having fun! These drafts are like ALL OVER THE PLACE, but, I'm a way where I'm making drafts for all sorts of different ideas. Shit I have drafts that are literally just.... interaction scenes??? I have several drafts for a concept where Reader becomes a minor goddess adopted by the house of hades and when Persephone decides to take you to Olympus with her one spring "to meet the rest of the family" and you catch Ares' eye and he decides he wants you as a wife and it begins this whole like Greek epic with, Reader going back to the Underworld and keeping quiet, Ares is having Hermes secretly smuggle her letters or gifts which she's trying to ignore, when she ignores him for too long the House of Hades becomes FLOODED with new Shades because SUDDENLY there are all these human wars breaking out and Reader eventually has to buckle and write a reply letter

HADES EVENTUALLY FINDS OUT AND IS LIKE "ZEUS CONTROL YOUR GODDAMN SON" and Zeus is just like "well its no big deal right she's just a minor goddess and she isn't even your REAL DAUGHTER so--" cue another family war about to break out because the entire fucking House of Hades refuses to stand for this. You think Nyx is gonna still be cordial with Ares when she finds out he literally chased down her adopted daughter for the thrill of the hunt and then took her by force? Persephone? Achilles? Meg? Shit like, with how much Nyx adores you, do you think her daughters THE FATES THEMSELVES will let this happen. Ancestor of indiscriminate gender PRIMORDIAL CHAOS?????? Not to mention any Olympians who would be knocking heads with Ares already like Athena since I'm pretty sure in myth and in game they have kind of a huge rivalry with each other?

Which is another draft I have btw, Reader is on Olympus for a party or something and Athena and Ares are being friendly, secretly trying to own each other by getting 'the most' attention from you when one of them asks "which is better, wisdom or strength?" To which Reader immediately says wisdom but then gives more nuanced answers when she sees the reaction that gets. Athena and Ares start butting heads which makes Reader kind of leave them to it and walk away, and a while later Aphrodite walks up to the siblings "haven't you two noticed there's someone ELSE vying for her attention?" And points and boom there's Dionysus sharing some nice ambrosia with you and he's got you smiling and giggling and, did he just rest his hand on your thigh while whispering in your ear? And they storm over, "oh don't trust him he's gross, he's a lush, if you want to drink, drink with us" and they're so busy trying to shake down Big D that APHRODITE the TRUE THREAT sneaks up and Reader is all drunk and giggly "you're naked but you're a pretty lady and if I was so pretty I'd probably be naked too haha is that a weird thing to say haha 😊🥰😊🥰😊" and by the time Athena and Ares and Dionysus come to their senses the Love Goddess has already snuck off with you for some. Nice times :)

Why am I literally getting new ideas while remembering the ones I already have started lmao. Platonic yandere Artemis who becomes your bud and you're hunting and frolicking and chilling with the other nymphs and eventually you want to like actually get a boyfriend and have sex with a man or something and Artemis is basically like "NO QUEEN this is supposed to be OUR girlboss adventure 🥺🥺🥺 no cooties allowed"

I even, jeez this was a weird side plot, I was just writing shit for like WORLD BUILDING because I never expected these to see the light of day and thus I can just fuck around, and I think a sideplot or idea I was putting into that Ares fic was "Reader is constantly trying to find her purpose or a job to do in the House of Hades and at one point she starts deeply studying like human aqueducts and how there are specific ways humans have tilled the earth and dug trenches to divert floodwaters and you make it your mission to help clean up the flooding of the River Phlegathon (is that how it was spelled) and you even take the Twin Fists to use almost like gardening gloves (because remember these used to belong to Demeter for essentially the same purpose) to pummel the earth and even helping round up your own little team of construction Shades. Hades suddenly starts hearing all these whispers and rumors from the Shades about how Asphodel is slowly becoming more livable because the diverting floodwaters is leaving, you know, actual land to use instead of having to have floating boats and houses on literal fucking demon hellspawn lava, and maybe he even catches you in the act where you're basically on a construction zone, "alright everyone here's the plan, I want you guys digging the canal to the west and after the signal youe group will raise the dam--" and maybe he's actually impressed you took the initiative but also he didn't give you permission to take Malphon or do any of this, you kind of, just needed an outlet for your feelings of stress and helplessness especially after what Ares did

But yeah this past week I'm particularly I've been deep diving through my WIPS and going down memory lane and it's like, well until I get the balls to actually work on some of these, I was googling how like, Google Drive works and was considering just, publicly posting the wips in an online folder or something, but I don't want people to have to download things to read them and I have to pull things off of tumblr and put then in individual word docs and my laptop. Likes to be difficult with me 😅 but yeah hoping to maybe post and share the wips soon bc maybe it'll jumpstart the motivation to finish some of em lol, especially cause some of then have decent chunks written