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#*points to self* I put the “hot” in “psychotic”
sincerely-sofie · 17 days
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Re: your mental health comic - I hope, if any of those characters are based on real hallucinations youve had, that you don't have them anymore. You're a good person who doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.
(Referencing this or this post, I’m not sure which)
Thank you so much for your kind words! The characters in those works are representations of actual hallucinations I’ve experienced. They were real nasty pieces of work, but I haven’t actually hallucinated one in a severe enough manner to talk to them in about… Shoot. Hang on, I need to think… 5-ish years now? I think? And the last time I did, I heard a brief sentence before I took some heavy-duty meds that knocked me out and took care of the hallucination by the time I woke up. I’ve gone through a lot of growth between now and then, and I’m now in a place where the only lasting legacy those losers have had is making me very good at abstract descriptions + personifications and self-reflection. Their cruel words are fuzzy and vague things that I barely remember.
Heck, I went through some old notes to remember some nicknames I gave them, and it was a blast from the past that I actually laughed at! They actually called me “less than worthless” to the point I internalized and verbalized it many times? Wow. That’s pretty cringe, guys. You spent your entire lives bullying a teenager. Cool. Now I love myself and forgot that was ever a mantra I recited at all times in my head.
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I once had a project I was working on where I made a fictionalized autobiography set in a fantasy world starring a self-insert and these jokers. It was going to be a kind of field guide to hallucinations I experienced. I stopped working on it after a while because it was too painful for me to develop, as it was meant to dig deep into the pain and struggles I went through on a daily basis… and now I’m looking back at it and considering making it a humorous story about how ridiculous my hallucinations were— at least the ones with consistent personalities. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, truly.
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I might end up posting some of the more solemn journal comics I made about these chuckleheads... It'd be weird to dig up my significantly older work, but I think it would do me some good and maybe be enjoyable / educational for others!
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dangermousie · 1 year
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Gulcemal ep 1
I really really enjoyed it, even though (or because) Gulcemal is a monster and a headcase and I hope the heroine buries him. 
Here he is with his pet pit of snakes. No really.
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Anyway, Gulcemal has serious issues because his mom never loved him or took care of him and then ditched him and his sister for a new man (who was a mobster who beat up their bio dad) and their dad hanged himself in shame. So Gulcemal did what any 12 year old would do on the day of his dad’s funeral - found and stabbed mom’s new man to death with a kitchen knife. His mom then put a curse on him that since he’s a monster, he will never have a woman truly love him. 
Now it’s 20+ years later and Gulcemal, psycho, mobstery and very hot, is back to wreak revenge on mommy, as any self-respecting adult man would. His grand plan is to take away everything from mommy - business, friends, her kid (half brother of Gulcemal) blah blah and make her so desperate that she ill knock on his door because she has nowhere else to go. His sister is all “and then you’d shut the door in her face, right?” to which Gulcemal explains that nope, he will take her in and treat her like a queen so she’d say she’s lucky to have him as her son. THAT IS HIS REVENGE OMG AHAHAHAH DUDE YOU ARE NUTTIER THAN A SQUIRREL’S DINNER.
To be fair, he’s still less insane than his awful mother who, on finding he’s back, cooks and sends him halvah with “welcome to hell” note hidden in it. Mommy plans to destroy sonny and with none of that “take him in after” nonsense.
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Anyway, moving on. This is our heroine, Deva. Devas has the worst luck. Her quasi mom is Gulcemal’s psycho mom, her bio parents are dead and/or unknown (except for - surprise - about which later), her scumbag fiance impregnated Gulcemal’s sister when drunk and is shortly to be made to marry the woman ditching Deva at the wedding. Oh, and she’s about to meet a psycho who will fixate on her. This is their first meeting. He gets pissed she’s at his lake, she points a bow and arrow at him (I don’t blame her, he looks like he’s about to go on the best-dressed serial killer spree), he gets out a gun (that was hilarious tbh) and he’s willing to be amused until she accidentally shoots him and tho she’s horrified, he advances until she almost falls into the lake.
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She’s all “don’t shove me into the water, I am scared of water” (bet her mom drowned there) and he seems to be OKish with that until she slaps him because he’s looming and he just drops her as she screams for help. But he leaves her his jacket, he’s not an animal :P
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Oh, and it turns out she’s a weaving master he’s decided to lure away from mommy. Instead of offering her a nice salary or w/e, he instead threatens and looms. Oh, and she stabs him with scissors. Between that and the arrow, I am beginning to think that terrifying and psychotic as Gulcemal is, his secret fetish is hot women hurting him. Just go pay a dominatrix, dude.
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A few things. She’s about to smack him again and he reminds her that he told her if she does it again, he’ll break her arm (!!!) to which she taunts him to do it (!!!), he tells her she will accept his job and will beg for it on her knees and oh, worst of all, Mommy Evilest sees this on security cameras and realizes that for Gulcemal this is all equivalent of major crush. Her genius idea? I am gonna wreck Deva’s wedding, make sure her adoptive father is in debt so Gulcemal can blackmail her by that because...drumroll...I am gonna make sure Gulcemal falls madly and truly in love and will be willing to give anything for her and then I will go ahahahahahhahahaha psych! you will now suffeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr and he wil be in heeeeelllllll. Because, as becomes clear, Deva is actually the daughter of evil mom’s mob boyfriend, the one Gulcemal killed with a bread knife as a tween. (I happen to think Deva’s mom was drowned either by her bio dad or evil mom or both, as that would be one way of enemies forever set up between the couple) Personally, I’d like to point out to mommy evilest she tried a very similar plan in Hercai (make a mentally unstable vengeance obsessed headcase suffer through enemy daugher’s love) and it didn’t really work out.
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So now her dad is in the dungeon and he says he will allow her to pay off the debt by staying if she kneels.
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I am not sure that he’s gonna live long enough for evil mommy to go “gotcha” because the heroine, who correctly refers to him as a “sick psycho,” is totally gonna shank him first.
The first ep was addictive, the chemistry is insane. I hate ML as a person but oh boy is he fun to watch. The whole thing is like Fei Wo Si Cun is moonlighting for Turkish tv.
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thisworldisablackhole · 2 months
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SeeYouSpaceCowboy - - The Romance of Affliction
It was a cold, dark winter evening. My best friend and I were having one of our frequent "get faded and listen to music" sessions. Those hang outs were always the highlight of my week. Crack a cold one, have some deep conversations, and crank some tunes. Lift off, baby. The vibes were good, but when it came time for me to commandeer the Auxiliary Cord SS, I admit I was a little sheepish.
"You got any new shit?"
"Well… sort of… you might not like it though"
"Fuck it dog, put that shit on. You know I'm pretty open minded"
I laughed.
"Alright, we'll see about that"
I think I might have put on "…and My Faded Reflection in Your Eyes", first, but my memory of that night is a little hazy. It doesn't matter though, because what happened next was a complete and enthusiastic unravelling of our former selves as we bonded over a new found mutual love of melodic metalcore. We had been friends for close to 10 years, but up until this point we had reserved our musical exchanges for mostly palatable cool guy bands who hid their emotional urgency under a veil of artful stoicism. Perhaps this was done out of shame, because wearing your heart on your sleeve is generally discouraged in the culture of adulthood. It felt like a risk to open up and share the side of me that still loves an arguably juvenile mode of expression, but the reward for doing so was unbridled joy and connection.
SeeYouSpaceCowboy said fuck shame, fuck stoicism, fuck acting cool. We're gonna scream, we're gonna sing, and we're gonna feel something. The Romance of Affliction is scenecore for the modern age, and it is completely unapologetic in being so. Taking cues from bands like Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Blood Brothers, Botch, and Underoath, SYSC created a special blend of sounds that is equal parts chaotic, violent, and sweet as sweet tea on a hot southern day. Sugar, spice, everything nice, and a metric fuck tonne of Chemical X. Excuse my language.
One of the first things to really draw me into this album was the vocals. This album has a major case of split personality disorder, and I mean that in the best way possible. Vocalist Connie Sgarbossa bounces between larynx shredding highs, lows, and sasscore yelps while guitarist Ethan Sgarbossa and bassist Taylor Allen also chime in with mid ranged roars and lovesick cleans. It's enough to induce a psychotic episode, or at the very least give listeners with ADHD enough variance in frequency and delivery to keep them stimulated. The vocal patterns are impressively synchronized, and you can tell that a lot of thought goes into this aspect of their music. It's something I wish more bands would take note of, but maybe that's just my addled attention span speaking. There are some pretty cool, albeit head turning features on this album as well. Shaolin G's rap verse on "Sharpen What You Can" in particular has been polarizing, but ends up being one of the more impactful and (frankly) punk rock moments on the album as he comes in with a strong message of self affirmation and being true to yourself in the face of adversity.
The instrumentals don't hold back either, and come well equipped with their own hyper aggressive inability to sit still. Razor sharp panic chords and time signature switch ups dance their way toward atmospheric passages before plummeting back down to earth with classic single note breakdowns. Almost every song comes packaged with a hookworm chorus or dreamy melodic bit to offer respite from the teeth clenching madness and draw you back in for repeated listens. A good hook is one that makes you really appreciate everything leading up to and preceding it, and thankfully the band delivers on this every time. SYSC doesn't just rely on a catchy chorus to sell a mediocre song. They aren't afraid to show their full hand of influences either, as they ambitiously swing between three or four different niche subgenres in rapid motion. It might sound like a recipe for disaster, but it comes across as more meticulous than random, and the result is a surprisingly smooth and cohesive experience. 13 songs and 40 minutes goes by with a flash, and not once do I feel like the band is testing my patience.
The Romance of Affliction is a time machine that will unlock forgotten pieces of your heart, but it's also a vessel of progression for a subgenre that not many are brave enough to claim in today's landscape of serious mature stoicism. SeeYouSpaceCowboy have managed to breathe fresh life into old tricks in a way that only the most studious of scene disciples could pull off, and I can't wait to see them continue to flourish and expand their palette of influences in the years to come.
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positivelybeastly · 3 months
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🖤
It feels weird for me to ask this for a number of reasons, but my curiosity is eating me alive.
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
I don't believe you've given a solid description of Ridley in her human form and what she looks like, so I can only go off of my mental image here and also how Hank's experiences with Ridley have coloured his perception of her - which is to say, he doesn't really view her as an object of attraction, just a person who needs help and support. Especially in the periods we've been writing in, that version of Hank takes medical ethics very seriously, so that very much limits how attractive he can find her.
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personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
I mean, let's be real here, I would not say that Ridley is high on charm, but she is quite impressive in her own respect - clearly self-reliant, intense, capable of finding her own way through, and smart. She has her rough edges, but Hank's spent his entire life navigating people with rough edges, that's not usually something he holds against people.
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how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
She entered his life as a younger individual in need of help, and as such, she's been mentally categorised as someone to whom Hank has a duty of care - ergo, she is not someone he would feel comfortable pursuing sexually. Honestly, I play Hank as someone who, even at his messiest, is good to his partners and puts their needs and health above his own, he'd rather not be with them than drag them down with his bullshit, so he's not going to make things messy and awkward for Ridley if she needs his help.
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level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
I feel like this honestly flows back and forth between them - calling them friends would be a stretch at this point, but allies, compatriots, sure! She probably finds him a bit cloying and too obviously wholesome, he finds her abrasive and proud. But guess what, he ended up making friends with Logan eventually, it'll get there.
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first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
First impression was, oh boy, that's a lot of blood and you don't seem to care a lot about that fact, this is going to be interesting. Considering Hank's best friend/most promising boyfriend candidate met him by punching him into a wall, this is not the worst first meeting Hank's ever had with someone.
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current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
I don't know if Hank would call her cool just yet - fascinating, absolutely, though that work could have all kinds of negative associations for her. But she's clearly not an aggressor, she just wants to live her life as best she can and not be bothered. In his way, Hank can understand that, has felt that himself, and wants to give Ridley all the chances he can to be what she wants.
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mlobsters · 11 months
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supernatural s5e18 point of no return (w. jeremy carver)
saying no to suicidal dean. again.
Dean's goodbye letter (S5Com):
Sam and Bobby—Given what's about to happen, I'll be surprised if this package ever finds you. But if it does, I want you both to know that what I'm doing isn't about giving up. John taught us better than that. This is about time. We've run out of it.
Left the Impala in Cicero. Where I'm going, we don't need roads. I know you'll look after her for me. Bobby—you've taken more for the team than anyone could ever ask. That makes you an honorary Winchester in my book.
Sam. You told me once that you pray every day. Not sure if that's still true. Probably isn't, but if it is, give it one last try for me. And Sammy—one Winchester lost to this fight is enough. When it's over [...]
no.
DEAN How could I? All you’ve ever done is run away.
SAM And I was wrong. Every single time I did.
wonder if that penetrated dean's thick skull. he's got that half lidded self destructive completely checked out look on his face so i'm gonna vote no.
also, say no to suicidal bobby.
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BOBBY You can’t give up, son.
DEAN You’re not my father. And you ain’t in my shoes.
fuck you, dean. that was unnecessary.
SAM Why would they do this?
CASTIEL Maybe they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.
DEAN Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas.
SAM Look, no way. After everything that's happened? All that crap about destiny? Suddenly the angels have a Plan B? Does that smell right to anybody?
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SAM Still, trust me. The one thing worse than seeing dad once a year was seeing him all year.
ADAM Do you know how full of crap you are?
SAM What?
ADAM Really. You see, it was me and it was my mom. That's it. She worked the graveyard shift at the hospital. I cooked my own dinners. I put myself to bed. So you can say whatever you want about our dad, but the truth is, I would have taken anything.
okay but one caring parent that isn't around because she's working is a different beast from the one parent who leaves for a week plus at a time with an 9 and 5 year old. maybe uses them at bait. perhaps berates the 9 year old for not being the perfect soldier left behind. can't believe we're fighting over who had the most neglectful childhood.
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DEAN Well, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that…I got laid.
flirting via death glares? seems like dean is just trying to piss off cas. but hey whatever
DEAN I just…I—I don’t believe.
SAM In what?
DEAN In you. I mean, I don’t. I don’t know whether it’s gonna be demon blood or some other demon chick or what, but…I do know they're gonna find a way to turn you.
SAM So you’re saying I’m not strong enough.
DEAN You’re angry, you’re self-righteous. Lucifer's gonna wear you to the prom, man. It's just a matter of time.
SAM Don't say that to me. Not you...of all people.
DEAN I don’t want to. But it’s the truth. And when Satan takes you over, there's got to be somebody there to fight him, and it ain't gonna be that kid. So, it's got to be me.
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thanks, i hate it. i hate how brotherly conflict is the bread and butter of this show now. so sam fucked up and dean just can never get past it? that's bullshit. we talked about this! we're rebuilding trust. and now he's just like nope actually can't
ZACHARIAH So you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?
ADAM I don’t know. They said a few things about you.
ZACHARIAH Really? Trust me, kid, when the heat gets hot, they're not gonna give a flying crap about you. Hell, they'd rather save each other's sweet bacon than save the planet.
i had seen that quote as a tag on ao3 so i had looked it up to see if it was in fact a quote, because okay. that's a lot. kind of curious what the motivation was for the writer to go there. i tend to assume the worst when it comes to the ship of plausible deniability.
what even is this episode good lord
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CASTIEL I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them?
DEAN Cas! Please!
CASTIEL I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.
DEAN Do it. Just do it!
not sure i can take 15 minutes more of this.
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SAM What the hell happened to him?
CASTIEL Me.
--
ZACHARIAH Cool your jets, Corky. Sit down. We’re doing it together. Plus, you still get your severance. You still get to see your mom, okay?
a life goes on reference??? *squints*
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DEAN Well, they’re right. Because either it’s a trap to get me there to make me say yes, or it’s not a trap and I’m gonna say yes anyway. And I will. I’ll do it. Fair warning.
SAM No, you won’t. When push shoves, you’ll make the right call.
DEAN You know, if tables were turned…I’d let you rot in here. Hell, I have let you rot in here.
SAM Yeah, well…I guess I’m not that smart.
DEAN I—I don’t get it. Sam, why are you doing this?
SAM Because… you’re still my big brother.
guh.
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funny trick there, cas
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that was a very nice, subtle but also visible change of heart, really well done there jackles
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SAM I saw your eyes. You were totally rockin’ the “yes” back there. So, what changed your mind?
DEAN Honestly? The damnedest thing. I mean, the world’s ending. The walls are coming down on us, and I look over to you and all I can think about is, “this stupid son of a bitch brought me here.” I just didn’t want to let you down.
SAM You didn’t. You almost did. But you didn’t.
DEAN I owe you an apology.
SAM No, man. No, you don't.
DEAN Just...let me say this. I don't know if it's being a big brother or what, but to me, you've always been this snot-nosed kid that I've had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that that's not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you're grown-up enough to find faith in me…the least I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny, right in the face. I say we take the fight to them, and do it our way.
SAM Sounds good.
jesus. okay. stress levels always go down when they're working together and no one is actively suicidal. team screw destiny in the face. saved by the power of love. however i'm going to take a wild guess that someone is gonna sacrifice themselves before this is over
other day i was wondering about that too, dónde está jesús lol
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jollyreginaldrancher · 9 months
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Yellowjackets S2 e7 thoughts and stuff
Things are reaching a new low
It looks like they're snowed in.
I guess they're all gonna be pooping in the pee bucket now.
Shauna's still holding onto her child 😭
Is Shauna abrasive because of everything that happened or because she's worried they'll try to eat the baby?
The snow took Jackie from her and now she has to put her baby in the snow to protect it and I am not okay.
The credits are different this time. I never watch them but from the bits I've caught, they are definitely different this time.
The audio is different, lacking its usual gritty guitar riffs in the beginning, and layering the vocals over the vocals. Things are ramping up and we are really reaching the point of no return.
VAN BROUGHT THE TITTY PEN WITH HER. SHE KEPT THR TITTY PEN ON HER PERSONS THIS WHOLE TIME!
Tai you did not side-eye Van when Nat accused you all of needing help. You're the one eating puppies, my friend.
Though Van is shut tighter than a clam shell or a nun's legs, Taissa isn't Miss open book either.
Teen Van is really looking for the meaning of life. Ma'am you have a hot girlfriend during the cold winter. Keeping her warm is your purpose.
"I need to know why I'm still alive"
Because we love you, that's why. Next question.
Van for sure picked forage because Misty picked it. The pettiness 😅
Fuck Lottie specifically for the chore Shauna got
Ben is blurring the lines between the real world and his maladaptive daydreaming dimension
Bro's own fantasy bf dumped him.
He's gonna kill himself, isn't he?
Oh, Lottie is just straight up trying to torture the gals. She tried to put Misty in a full-on deathtrap. Run, Misty, run!
Maybe Gen is the pit-girl. Also thanks to Akilah for finally letting us know what at least one of the other girls is called.
Nah fuck Mari, I hope she IS the pit girl or that she dies because how dare you call my unhinged daughter psychotic? And how dare you insinuate my accidental murderer of a child is a killer?
Yas, Akilah! Thank you for side-eyeing Mari for me. Fuck you Mari.
Oh they're fully culting now.
I love how they're rationalising maybe eating the dead girl. Misty's not happy about it but I'm cracking up. Imagine you get cast in this and the one fucking time you get any screentime it's as a goon, rationalising potentially eating a corpse.
I'm genuinely surprised we haven't jumped back to the present. I can't remember the last time we stayed in one setting for this long.
Tai: I think my shadow-self is gone 🥹
Lottie: it better not be. That thing had gps.
Tai was graffiting.
Still not over Tai walking around in Van's clothes all season.
Tai: the other me is threatening my family
Lottie: that's your inner you telling you to run away with Van
Everyone keeps dumping on Misty for what though? They're just as bad 😭 let she among you who has not accidentally killed a friend or lover cast the first stone.
Anyway back to the 'fuck off Mari' days
Say what you want but Misty is a good friend who won't let her friends get eaten.
And now Shauna's mourning Jackie again but she's really gone and Shauna has to get through this in her own 😭😭
Fuck Todd and fuck Lottie for making Shauna think she had to kill the goat/the goat was gonna die.
I just want to hug Shauna 😭😭😭
Now it's Misty's turn to get tortured 🥺
Misty's guard is so persistent she even wears her glasses in a sensory deprivation tank.
I'm gonna pretend not to see the Morse code love notes and other indicators of Misty vibing with that guy and persevere with my MistyNat headcanon.
I still don't like or trust that guy hitting on Misty.
Did Ben bury Crystal? Or is Misty looking in the wrong place? Or was Crystal eaten by wolves?
I still think he's gonna kill himself or something.
He really looked Misty in the face and asked her to push him. He really did that. What a fucking asshole. Like not bad enough he wants to kill himself, he wants to do it in front of Misty and even wants her to kill him herself?!
What a fucking asshole.
Poor Misty
She doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve any of that. She's just a dumb kid trying to save everybody.
Oh fuck
Oh no
Oh fuck
No no no
No
No
Van can't have cancer
She can't have months to live
This isn't happening
LOTTIE DO YOUR FUCKING WILDRENESS MAGIC AND MAKE IT NOT SO
Tai took her ring off she was accepting shit and then Van announced this. No. No, i don't accept this reality.
I can't even get excited about them kissing and stuff anymore 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I can't even be happy that I was right about Van being sick because I didn't want her to be sick. Or at least I didn't want her to be this sick 😩
Lottie's therapy sessions are 100% in her head. I am positive.
I fucking knew it.
Van sharing her booze with Misty 🥹
They talk so badly about her that I find it genuinely surprising that they actually treat her like a human being, and even extend the odd olive branch her way.
I definitely notice a shift within Nat. The clothes, the attitude. She seems way more chill now.
What's interesting is that Lottie seems to have shifted too. Like almost like they swapped clothes and personalities in a way. Not completely but they definitely had an effect on each other.
Just like the last two days or so seem to have completely changed Taissa and probably Van too. I really hope we see more of Van pre-Tai in the present day just as a baseline.
But yeah as sweet as this reunion is I am stressed as fuck because you just know bad shit is gonna happen and this won't last. Like with Shauna's happy dream about the baby, you just know they're going to wake up to death in the morning.
But Florence and the machine is playing (I think) and the gals are pals and having fun and we're seeing them interact in different groups for once and it's so heartwarming and sweet and I love them so much 🥹
I desperately wanna know what Misty was gonna say about that summer
Tai is going through those stages of grief. She's at denial. Van is at anger and she does NOT want to talk about it 😭
Van and Shauna dancing 🥰 you usually just see Shauna interact with Taissa but it makes sense that she would have been close to Van too. I mean next to Tai, she was the only other girl she called out to in her dream, when the baby was missing.
Poor Misty, dancing on her own though 🥺
I feel so bad for Misty. Like even when she's included she's not included in shit. That feels so rough.
Did Shauna just deck her? What the fuck? She blames Misty for the baby? And she bit Van? Great, now Van's gonna have an infection to content with cause. I doubt they have toothpaste.
Lottie really just volunteered to be her punching bag 😮
These girls were really meant to die, huh?
Like this is some final destination shit. No one will be standing by the end of it.
Holly fuck
And they're calling Misty a murderer and stuff but look at Shauna go.
Geez
Is Lottie a ghost right now? Cause Shauna fucked her up and I wouldn't be surprised if she fucking died just then.
Honestly surprised she had that much energy. I don't have that much energy on a good day, let alone after months of starvation.
Also when they get back they ought to build a shrine to Misty for keeping their asses alive through all of this. Ben, Shauna and Lottie especially. Van too though. Actually Van shouldn't pray to any god since she is clearly stronger than all of them combined.
And they found that body and now the shoes are starting to drop. Surely they won't go anywhere with this. It's not like they'll mess up the status quo, right? Right?
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astronomical-glory · 2 years
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[You are here] [Part 2] [Part 3]
Three disclaimers for anyone who reads this: 1) This is a headcanon. Your own headcanons (so long as they aren't ableist... i.e: headcanons that depict Volo as a "psychopath" or nothing but manipulative or some flavor of "deranged". Headcanons like that are ableist and sanist and honestly, why would you go that route when there's something so much better?) are perfectly fine; they are your own and you are entitled to them, I am not trying to forcibly conform you to how I perceive his character because that is rude. 2) This post is not for people who are anti-self dx. If you believe that diagnosis is only valid if it's official when not everyone is able to get official diagnosis for whatever their reason or just don't want one, this post is not for you and I kindly suggest not reading this. With that said, this is also going to kinda look like a rant and me being like
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And 3) This analysis that spans three posts (originally four, but I combined the last two into one) has a lot of medical text. So if stuff like that bores you and/or you just don't have the attention span required to read all of it, I regret to inform you that there is no TL;DR since I myself have no clue how to condense this much theorizing and text support into a short paragraph that both makes sense and gives the gist of everything. All in-game screenshots except one are by @/voloscreenshots. With that said:
Here we go
This headcanon got started off of a post by @/insanityisimplied where he says:
TW for mental illness talk. Not sure if anyone needs it but I'll put it there just in case.
I don't like that people assume he's just a hot villain character and nothing else. His situation is FAR from black and white and his turn to the dark side wasn't a sudden shift. The game didn't really cover it so its all speculation on my part, but I dunno, it all reads more like red flags than "oo hot villain <3" to me. I'm one of the (probably few) people who doesn't simp for Volo so I may have bias here but that betrayal scene is hard to watch. Mental illness is a bitch, and Volo seems to struggle with some serious shit. I may be projecting here, and if I am I apologize, but Volo post-betrayal just looks like hes going through a psychotic breakdown and I just feel so bad. I don't think it makes him look more attractive, it only makes me more worried, though I understand the appeal.
Its a personal issue-related thing so I won't go too in depth. People are allowed to think hes hot- I'm not the fun police- But that interpretation is just not for me.
The second paragraph where he states that what Volo was going through post-betrayal looks like a psychotic breakdown is what caught my interest. I knew that there had to be something more to why Volo was acting the way he was, and it not just being the obvious depression and religious trauma.
So this post caused me to want to dig deeper. I obviously figured since the post that sparked this potential epiphany mentioned Volo exhibiting symptoms of psychosis and the creator of said post also had psychosis (which is why Volo appearing to exhibit psychosis was mentioned to begin with), that looking into the DSM-IV and DSM-V for said mental illness was a good starting point.
So. The DSM for psychosis. Reading through it thoroughly and making certain I actually understood what I was reading as I have difficulty in wholly understanding certain things and tend to misunderstand them— I found this:
❝ In their current conceptualization of psychosis, both the APA and the World Health Organization define psychosis narrowly by requiring the presence of hallucinations (without insight into their pathologic nature), delusions, or both hallucinations without insight and delusions. In both of these current diagnostic classification systems, impaired reality testing remains central conceptually to psychosis.❞
Symptoms of psychosis: delusions, hallucinations, formal thought disorder, grossly disorganized behavior, and negative symptoms
Each symptom barring hallucinations, which I can say right off the bat he doesn't experience, will be listed and explained accordingly. Important to note, the above quote has part of it in bold as done by my own choice so to bring attention to the fact that hallucinations are not required for diagnosis of psychosis.
Firstly,
Delusions
❝ Delusions (ie, fixed false beliefs), by definition, are evidence of impaired reality testing: delusional beliefs are ones maintained steadfastly even in the face of evidence contradicting them incontrovertibly.❞
Maintained steadfastly even in the face of evidence contradicting them incontrovertibly...
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Taking a minor detour—I will return to the topic of delusions shortly— in terms of formal thought disorder, after more thorough analysis, I can say that he doesn't exhibit any obvious symptoms of it. Again, there isn't really much to sift through for Volo's character since we don't know all that much about him. Yes, he's charismatic and myths and ruins are something he loves so much he takes any and all opportunities to talk about them— you can't look me in the eye and tell me this man is otherwise neurotypical.
I was initially under the impression he exhibited disorganized speech as a symptom of formal thought disorder (otherwise known as derailment),
❝[I]ncoherent speech. This may be speech in which ideas shift from one subject to another seemingly unrelated subject, sometimes described as loosening of associations. Other types of disorganized speech include responding to questions in an irrelevant way, reaching illogical conclusions, and making up words.❞
but after rereading his dialogue he doesn't stray off the current topic and/or abruptly bring up something else. He doesn't come to illogical conclusions based on what he sees before him that would obviously lead to a different conclusion. The manner in which he speaks is perfectly understandable both in diction and how he came to speak about a certain thing (e.g. things like talking about the myths of the Lake Spirits and about helping the protagonist after popping into Cyllene's office unannounced). The way he speaks is more like infodumping in some aspects rather than anything disorganized.
However, I am also under the impression he experiences grossly disorganized behavior only in the form of showing emotions that are not appropriate to the situation.
This being due to his battle loss animation with him showing anger/disbelief to smiling, as well as how he reacts to the player after they receive the Azure Flute when he walks away. But for the record, those more knowledgeable in this than I, I would be grateful for clarification if I am incorrect.
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❝ Both the current APA and the World Health Organization classification systems acknowledge that “formal thought disorder” (ie, disorganized thinking, including illogicality, tangentiality, perseveration, neologism, thought blocking, derailment, or some combination of these disturbances of thought) is one of several commonly co-occurring features of psychotic disorders.❞
Returning to the topic of delusions and what kind Volo appears to have, I will start off with saying he appears to experience grandiose delusions.
❝ Table 8-2 defines and describes the types of delusions commonly occurring in individuals with primary and secondary psychotic disorders. These delusions are often divided into two types: ordinary and bizarre.
Ordinary delusions derive from misinterpretation of everyday experiences and, as such, are understandable but not accepted by other members of the person’s culture or subculture (ie, are not articles of religious faith). For example, a patient who believes that an unknown group of conspirators is diverting his savings to a terrorist group despite being presented with evidence to the contrary (eg, bank statements) has an ordinary delusion (more specifically, an ordinary persecutory delusion). Bizarre delusions involve phenomena that are physically impossible or that most people in that person’s culture would regard as entirely implausible.❞
Grandiose delusions are stated to be as such: “Insightless and unshakeable conviction that one possesses special powers, talents, knowledge, or abilities; is famous (or a famous person or character); or holds a special relationship to a famous person or deity”
Volo states at the battle at Spear Pillar that he needs— no MUST know what Arceus is. With how he later laments that with the amount of research into myths and legends he had procured over his life being all for nothing, it appears that he felt that with all his devotion (plus him being of Celestica heritage) that he was someone special to Arceus. That it was his birthright or some other, to be worthy or deserving of being someone who can usurp and subjugate Arceus. Because he is Celestic. Because his heritage is of the race of humans created by Arceus themself— by Almighty Sinnoh. So who better to take God's place than one of their children.
Like the belief of the right to the throne; next in line and all that.
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the-heaminator · 2 years
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Polyship week prompt day 3: Restraint.
@hetalia-polyship-week
Ship: Rusengfra.
Have some more weird thoughts, have some angst and a treat from me I'm sorry if this gives of 2012 energy shhfbsnndnn. Tw violence? And alcoholism
Restraint is difficult, reeling in the parts of yourself you once let roam free always is tiring, and the longer you contain it, the more pressured it is, and when it is finally released, it is all the more violent, surrounding the person, enveloping them in a shroud of .
A cheery looking and acting Russian, though sadistic down right to the very core was one of these people, he seemed outwardly as a sort of vacant person smiling non commitally at most things, seemed to be a little odd at most. Though the people, or nations that have had the misfortune to be under him know how much of that is false.
A violent drunkard some said, a psychotic killer said others.
To see him with two others that had similar...issues ran shivers down many spines.
England, once the violent and non feeling master of the seas and land, still feared by many even if he not so much as looks at them in the eye, all the more fearful as he showed no remorse, the ones who knew him for the longest always said this, he could do nearly anything and only feel a twisted form of glee from it.
Desensitization at its finest I would say.
France, often said to be just as bad as the other two, despite not having a quite as caustic reputation, manipulative to the point of being able to make even Liechtenstein feel bad about herself, someone who would very happily kill if he could get anything out of it. His words sharper than any blade, a master of deceit and lies.
During the old times people often called them demons, they aged slowly, and had many the attributes of one, odd colouring eyes of purple, green and a too dark blue; and later on they were accused of being cardinal sins, Gluttony, Greed, Pride.
But now they had put restraints on themselves, England tended to stay alone in his old empty house, speaking to mainly himself and the fae, the same went for Russia, who can be scared of you when they barely even see you anymore seemed to be what they thought. They could stay in blissful isolation, no one had to see them drunk and raving, no one had to see them talking to themselves at night, no one had to see how lonely they had become over the years of their self imposed isolation.
France on the other hand, he became more public, able to forgo the the reputation that was impossible to shake for the other two, now being seen as a vapid whore and a self obsessed twat, but even that, in his opinion, was better than being feared like the other two were.
It was understandable how England and Russia managed to forge an odd bond, through that on its own managed to raise people's eyebrows, imagining the two as anything other than the two entities of fear and hate, imagining them together even in a friendship way was odd.
Adding France into the mix seemed nearly as impossible, but the impossible did tend to happen around these three.
It was no big secret that England and France fooled around in bed a lot, and it was no secret, though a very odd and slightly frightful prospect that England and Russia did the same, but putting two and two together seemed to be nobodies best interest until they physically saw it. Ivan hovering proactively around the two, England smacking anyone who said anything against the both of them, using the excuse "Only I'm allowed to do that."
France teasing them both in the way that only he could.
Though simmering just underneath everyone could see what they wanted to do, red hot desire bubbling under their skin just out of reach.
But remember, when restraint snaps, it snaps hard, who knows when, who knows how. But it will happen.
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Adapting my two main OCs to Pandora Hearts! Because it's a great manga.
So like. Still twins obviously. I actually already wrote a PH fanfic about them....
They're born in Italy. They're twins and they both look the same : dark skin, white hair, one red eye and a blue one. They were both born "children of ill omen" but their parents weren't really that kind of superstitious so it wasn't too bad.
They're weird because since birth, they're essentially the same person. They live in their own world and are so codependent. Their parents (who are normal people) are a bit scared of them. They can talk to each other telepathically.
At some point (like when they're 7?) they figure out that living in their own world, intertwined with each other, is actually dangerous because they're pretty much unaware of what's happening outside of their minds. They learn to open up to the outside world, and they spend a lot of time outside on the streets and at the library. They like learning languages! They learn a lot and also learn to fight. They do a lot à lot of parkour across the roofs! When they're 12 they learn that people who love each other kiss on the mouth and given that they're both aro they totally misunderstand that and kiss each other to see how it feels. It's barely a peck, but their parents see them and think they're doing something more NSFW which is stupid but they do throw the twins out for that.
Their routine change a bit. They still spend a lot of time in the library but now they have installed (sneakily) wooden boards on the top of the bookcases, like bridges between thhe bookcases and they usually sleep on top of the largest bookcases (they don't move much in their sleep so it's okay). They learn to fight much more efficiently because they're small children essentially living in the street. Sometimes, to get money, Caleb plays the violin (they stole it) while Alceo puts on a juggling/acrobatics act. They become pretty good pickpockets.
They still "fuse" mentally, because they like being one. During one of those moments, they figure out that one of them is not exactly a boy. After a moment of self-analysis, they deduce that it's Alceo, and that sometimes Alceo is a girl and sometimes a boy and sometimes both and sometimes neither (more often neither, tho) and it's not a big deal. Sometimes Caleb has a sibling or a sister or a brother.
At some point, they meet Angelo and Gabriel.
Angelo and Gabriel are the ones who approach them, wanting to be friends. They're wary, but hey. Why not.
Gabriel is two years older than the twins and Angelo. He has long (like, hips lenght) vivid blue hair andd it's soooo unpractical because it's hot in there and a lot of other reasons but he refuses to cut it. His eyes are the same blue. He also has a very long scarf, blood red and made of a light material but still as inconvenient as his hair. He constantly wears it. It was a gift from his little sister Sasha, who is in Greece for.... Reasons. He's got a heart condition - basically his earth produces too much energy for his body to keep up with. This gives him a lot of stamina sometimes but other times he has fever attacks that are very painful. He thinks he's not gonna live past 24. He's pretty amused by the fact that his family name will end with him. He's also a bit psychotic, sometimes going on rampages to kill people who piss him off (he's kind of out of his mind when he's like this so the twins and Angelo try to stay out of his way. Gabriel loves them, and killing them would hurt him so much). He lives fast and has pretty much no patience, living every day as if it was his last (which it might be, given his condition). He's the big brother in there!
Angelo is their age. He has short white hair (not snow white like the twins, more like bone white) and red eyes. He often jokes that they should have been siblings, given their similar coloring. Only person in the group with short hair. Either has a mocking smirk or a neutral face, no in-between. Angelo was the one who tried to befriend the twins first, despite them being basically feral cats. He's really good at just... Appearing out of nowhere? Very stealthy. Like the twins, sometimes he doesn't really talks. It's fine, they all get each other. He gets tattoos when he's 17: a blue (like Gabriel's hair) cancer symbol on his shoulder and the cancer constellation in sky blue and teal blue (the colors of the twin's blue eyes) on his index finger. He never ever talks about his past. He's morbidly fascinated by dead bodies, or death in general. Just really likes watching people die? He can kill people without injuring them, only saying that he "sent them to hell" without explaining anything. He often follows Gabriel when he's in a rampage, just so he can watch the horribly mutilated victims die slowly and painfully. It's one of the only moments he really smiles. Angelo has an obsession with mortuary masks, often stealing them from cemeteries to hang them on the walls of his hideout. There are so many of them that at some point he needs to put them on the ceiling. He really wants to make blue fire, because "blue fire destroys souls!" but it's really hard. He has a connection, not to the abyss but to the actual Hell. It's weird. It's also where he sends the souls of his victims. He's a psychopomp.
At 17, the twins are happy. They still sleep in the library, and they speak way more languages now. They have brothers, and it's neat! This year, something happens. They just.... See light enter their body? And it's super weird???
Hallucination and heatstroke are quickly ruled out. After all, sometimes people who Gabriel scratched seems to feel immense pain - certainly not the kind of pain warrantee by a single scratch. And sometimes, when they watch Angelo watch people die, they see that when he smiles, a blue light seems to come from the body's chest, and when it disappears, Angelo stops smiling, as if it was this light that he waited for. And let's not talk about the people with moving clock tattoos on their chest, and the monsters they use to kill people, and the dark shadows that swallow them whole.
So yeah, they already have their fair share of oddities.
They research. Nothing turns up. After a few months, they discover that the light talks. Wonderful. As if they weren't already insane enough. The light.... Tells them to go somewhere? Using an atlas, they decide that "somewhere" is in England (cause I suppose PH happens in England?). They have three good reasons not to go :
1) let's be pragmatic : you do not listen to the voices in your head. That's, like, a rule of the universe.
2) let's be down-to-earth : they barely have enough money to eat for a week. No way they could go to England.
3) but the main reason is that they don't want to go. They're happy here, they like their life and adore their brothers. No way they would leave them.
They also discover that the light that entered them made them stronger. And also made them heal faster and better. It didn't heal the twin's mouth scars, but they think it's because those scars come from one of Gabriel's rampages (they had to stop him from killing a noble, because that would have the whole city after them) and Gabriel has some strange powers.
Despite this new weirdness, they're happy.
At 18.
Angelo and Gabriel and Caleb are dead.
Alceo find them in a street. And they don't understand. Their brothers are dead? But Alceo doesn't knows why, or how. Caleb is dead, and Alceo only has half of their soul now. Caleb is dead, and Alceo can't hear his heartbeat in their head anymore. Alceo is only half of a whole now. Alceo lost a body and a heart and a soul and now they're alone? They've never been alone. They don't know how to be alone. They don't want to be alone. What happened? Why is the world still spinning when their world is dead?
And then there's a
Dark
Thing.
And it asks
Do you want to change the past?
Yes.
Yes, Alceo does.
------
Alceo is 20.
Alceo is 20 and she's alone. She's never celebrated her birthday. It was always their birthday. But Caleb isn't there. Alceo has a locket. A necklace. Inside there are three strands of hair. One snow white. Caleb. One bone white. Angelo. One vivid blue. Gabriel. It's all she has left.
That and red. Blood red. She killed so many people. She doesn't feel bad about it. She doesn't feel much since losing half her soul and all her siblings. Maybe she even likes killing them. The happy ones. Because her siblings aren't happy, they're dead. Why should anyone be happy and not dead when her siblings aren't? It's not fair.
Alceo is alone. He only sees his face in the windows now. Never in his brother's mind, never in his brothers' eyes. He can't even remember the name of the monster. The chain. And when a big, black hole opens beneath him... How could he care? He will see Caleb again if he dies.
----
Turns out he doesn't dies at all. Alceo ends up in a room? And there's a white-haired guy? And a.... Catboy? And a white-haired girl? And the girl smells like void and that's.... Really really not normal. Everything went so fast and the girl was talking? But then a small blond kid (carrying another dark-haired child) appears and the girl panics and everything just.... Dissolves. And then he hears the girl saying that she'll make their wishes happen if they do the same for her.
Alceo opens their eyes. They're in the snow. The sky is blue. And everything they did was for nothing.
They know that because of Angelo. Angelo was a psychopomp, he has a link to Hell, like Actual Hell not the abyss. Pyschopomps tend to befriend people who aren't necessarily sane (the twins and Gabriel certainly fit the bill). But their powers also sorta tend to... Leak? Into their family/friends. The aftereffects of that were differents for Gabriel and the twins. The twins were able to see souls (the blue light that appeared when people died) and they would feel their brothers' heartbeats. Gabriel could also see souls but had an easier type coming back from the dead, which was very neat given all the times he went into cardiac arrest.
The point is. Out of the abyss, Alceo still couldn't feel their brother's lives in them. Therefore they were still dead. All that for nothing.
It turns out that, like Break's case, their brother were indeed revived (or, time was turned to avoid their death?) but died later, before Alceo's and Caleb's return from the abyss. Alceo fell into the abyss roughly ten years after Break did, but found themself in the room at the same time and got out at the same time period. It had been 20 years since their fall into the abyss, and their brothers were long dead. Gabriel, despite not having been murdered this time around, died from his heart condition when he was 26, which is older than he thought he would be. Angelo seemed to have disappeared into thin air after Gabriel's death. The twins think that he went to Hell for good, given that he didn't have anyone to tether him to earth anymore.
Caleb's case is more complicated. Given that his and Alceo's souls were basically one and the same, he was brought back sort of... Into Alceo? It's complicated, but basically he was transformed into a Chain. Like Alice, he doesn't needs to eat human souls to stay in this world. He just physically can't get too far away from his twin (which is something that he has nothing against).
Alceo's stay in the abyss, weirdly enough, gave them vitiligo. Caleb's transformation into a Chain changed his colors - his dark skin became deathly pale and his white hair went ink black. He kept his eye colors tho.
The thing about Caleb being brought back into Alceo, is that they're both Children of Ill Omen and technically Baskervilles. Like, physically speaking they are both. That and the fact that their souls are one, it fucked up things and when they got out of the abyss, they were fused a la Steven universe. They can fuse and defuse at will. Whne it happens, they both become blurrier and blurrier until they're one big monochromatic blur and then the for clears and they're suddenly one chain. Caleb can't use his chain powers unless they're fused.
As a Chain, their name is Silence (uses they/them pronouns). Both their eyes are red and glowing, with slit pupils. Their grey skin is dotted with white freckles and their hair is dark grey. Their left forearm/hand is completely white, like Alceo's, but their right is completely black. Their clothes are Alceo's. On their face and arms are small glowing dots, stars linked together by glowing lines that form constellations (mainly the cancer and scorpio ones). When they move, even if they move slowly, the leave trails of light behind them. Their voice sounds like an echo coming from afar. They can't summon weapons (they do have Alceo's arsenal tho...). They don't really have an offensive power. They can make the "stars" float out of their skin (as a cool side-effect, their eyes glow even more when they do that). When the stars are detached from them, they become either golden or vivid blue. The number of stars they can use is unlimited. The blue ones can rob people of a sense or two simultaneously. The golden ones can make everything they touch soundproof. It's very sneaky.
They don't like unfusing because they feel like being one is their natural state of being. After being unfused, they tend to speak and act simultaneously for a few hours. They also use "I" instead of "we" all the time.
The thing about being children of ill omen and almost-Baskervilles, is that it has another side effect. Every time they touch someone who has been to the abyss, said someone witness their whole backstory, their memories. It's an inconvenience, but also there are very few people who have been to the abyss and back, so it's not that bad.
(is this because I wanted to introduce their backstory at their first appearance? Yeah.)
Relationship wise :
They love love love Break. He's like a big brother to them. Break understands the hardship of being suddenly thrown into a new Era, he understands what it's like to have seen the abyss, and he understands what it's like to try to save your family only to learn that they've died later. Given the unique nature of those things, they're also pretty much the only ones who can understand how Break feels. He likes to tease the twins and they like to annoy him. Break also likes to experiment with the twins' powers, which is something the twins also like to do. It's so interesting, after all. Break and the twins are pretty protective of each other. They're family, after all.
They like Sharon a lot, but less than Break. She's nice and pretty cool and has a hidden streak of mischief. They help her prank Break and sometimes Reim. They get along well.
The twins are intensely suspicious of Vincent. Mostly because of the abyss thing, but also because he's just a very suspicious person all around. There's this uncomfortable feeling of echo coming from him. They're both Baskervilles (even if in the twins' case it's only technically) and they're both Children of Ill omen so they sort of.... Resonate with each other. Physically. Like they can feel a sort of echo in their body when Vincent is around (and he certainly feels the same) and it's intensely uncomfortable and they don't like it. So it's avoid, avoid, avoid. Vincent himself thinks the twins are very intriguing and interesting and would really like to know all their secrets and abilities. Sadly they seem to do everything they can to avoid him....
Unlike Vincent, they adore Gilbert. He's so cute and pretty and nice and shy and unexpectedly cool! They love his eyes and his hair and his personality. They don't tease him as much as Break does, even if it's indeed fun to fluster him. They really like how loyal he is and they think his marksman abilities are super badass. They like how calm he is most of the time and often seek him out when they want company but not conversation. Unbeknownst to them, there's also a sort of Baskerville-to-Baskerville attraction going on there, but as neither of them are aware that Gilbert is one, they don't really notice. Caleb is also mildly sexually attracted to him, but that's pretty irrelevant. They want to help him however they can! Because he's had had one hell of a life already. They often bring him his favorite snacks, like cats bringing dead birds. On Gilbert's side, he likes the twins. They're nice and they're also very blunt so he doesn't even have to try to play mind games with them. Yeah, sometimes they tease him, but it's gentle. He likes how upfront they are and he thinks their powers are very interesting. They don't make fun of his absolute loyalty and that's nice. He's a bit embarassed because they seem to think he's really cool and he doesn't know how to feel about that, but sometimes it feels good to be admired. He wonders what they have against Vincent though?
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bonny-kookoo · 4 years
Text
👹Bad Habits (JJK x Reader) 💜☁️🔞
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👹Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
👹Genre: (Twisted)Romance, Angst, Smut, Psycho!JK
👹Warnings: Size kink, Body worship, biting, rough manhandling, JK accidentally hurts her a bit (but apologizes dw), mildly disturbing themes (blood, guts, bones cracking...), criminal activities such as theft (mentioned) and murder (not actively stated, but heavily implied), panic attack, psychotic episodes, psycho!JK because holy shit I actually got scared what did I create, degrading names (he calls her a whore in his mind like once..), possessive JK, strength kink, reader is unable to conceive (chances are very slim), unprotected sex (please wrap it before you tap it folks), impreg kink, dead dove do not eat 🕊 manipulative Koo, Dom!Kook, therapy talk, relapses, horrible anger management, emotional koo, emotional reader, look mom I actually wrote a happy ending
👹Summary: Oh monster monster under my bed, you’re the only one I have left, come out and play ‘cause I need a friend.
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Jeon Jungkook is sick.
You know this, you are very aware of it if the very much still gaping holes in the walls of your apartment, left from his most recent violent episode is anything to go by. He's got anger issues, that much is very apparent to anyone who genuinely knows Jungkook. Somehow he just can't keep himself in check, it's like he just needs the perfect trigger to simply go off like a bomb dropped from ten feet. It doesn't take much to rile him up. It takes a lot however to get him back down again.
Now, this would be the perfect moment to explain that you are the sweet and kind ray of sunlight calming his temper and cooling his ever violently burning mind- but that's not the case. There's nothing that can tame the young man at your side, nothing that can snap that collar around his neck and chain him up to a wall until he's safe to be around again. You can't do anything more than watch and pray that he will keep his promise to never ever hurt you. At first, you were worried. Anyone would be.
But then the first outbreak came.
Then the second.
And you were fine.
He would wreck the apartment, throw furniture, or beat someone to a bloody mess in an alleyway next to a nightclub simply because the guy had looked at your admittedly short skirt the wrong way. While for the longest time he didn't care about anyone, you've become his possession, in every way that the word stands. He owns you, every single cell of your being is his, and he's ready to push anyone's eyes back into their skull just for looking at you weirdly. No one is allowed to lust after you but him. No one's allowed to even think about you but him.
It's quite bittersweet, the reasoning behind his obsession with you. You're not scared, you're never running away, you're always so gentle, so delicate, such an angel around him- and in one way he fears that one day he's gonna be the wolf eating the sheep in a frenzy. In the other however, he's weirdly amused by it; the way you still look at him so innocently as if you didn't know that his hands could snap your neck like a twig between his combat boots he's typically sporting. It's a very twisted story with you two, and in a sense, he's certain that you have to be just as sick in your head as he is for genuinely loving him and his bad habits.
Just like now.
You're not saying anything. Even when you can hear the young mans ribs cracking underneath the steel toed black boots of your boyfriend, you're quiet, watching, unable to tear your eyes away from him- and you don't even know who exactly you're watching. You have already forgotten what the young man looked like- your eyes unable to reconstruct his facial features back to what they were before Jungkook had thrown his fists into them until the stranger couldn't even open his eyes anymore, face bloody and bruised to the point where you're hoping he won't survive it. You're also simply watching as Jungkooks pretty long hair, drenched in a mixture of sweat and rain from above whips around violently as if to mimic the way his muscled leg stomps into the man's chest over an over again, face holding a determination that should scare you. It's all over after a moment however, as your boyfriend seems to grow a bit tired now, slowly calming down as his anger ebbs down, waves finally evening as he breathes heavily. He runs a hand through his hair as he looks at what's in front of his feet; unable to quite realize that this was actually him. He turns, looking for you, and his entire facial expression suddenly changes.
While he looked absolutely terrifying just moments before, he's suddenly holding such a sweet and calm glint in his eyes as he takes off his jacket, putting it over your head as he smiles down at you, inner demon now fed again as it seems to crawl back behind his actual soul it consumes daily. You smile back, and he leads you out of the alley, giggling like a teenager when you playfully start to run towards the car, calling him a sore looser when he doesn't let you win like he usually does.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. But he's just a young man as well, deep down.
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He's got you sat on his lap as he greedily licks at your neck, teeth suddenly clamping down on the skin as you mewl underneath his touch and actions. He's grinning like the devil in person, his large-in-comparison palms holding your behind as they suddenly sneak underneath your shirt; his shirt, actually, and the main reason he suddenly got hungry to devour you. Your hair is still slightly damp, but he doesn't care as he lifts you up, placing you underneath him on your shared bed, hair falling into his eyes as he pulls the dark grey carharrt shirt over your head, immediately kissing your collarbone, hands kneading your breasts needily as he seems too eager to slow down anytime soon. He grabs your ribs and its as if he doesn't know where to touch- he wants it all, wants to feel it all, all at once, because it drowns out all the bad things he usually does. You're an outlet for his pent up aggression, only that he lets loose differently with you. He's got no hunger to make you suffer, to give you pain or to have you look at him in fear. No, he simply craves the way you writhe underneath him, ready for him, wanting, needing him. Such an angel, such a whore, so needy for his love and affection.
Something he wasn't sure he was capable of.
But he is, and it shows; while he usually moves with his jaw clenched, his brows furrowed, ever so agitated by the simplest of things, his face is calm now, relaxed, eyes however still feral- his gaze enough to make your core ache and your skin tingle. He's chuckling as he moves you around, suddenly impatient as he noticed your panties won't leave your legs as fast as he wants them to. It irritates him to the point where he just rips them as the seams, the fabric now ruined, but neither of you care as his hand instantly finds its way down to cup your heat, ring- and middle finger collecting your slick to bring it upwards to your clit, thumb running in circles over it as you squirm and whine, making him smile.
You're so sweet like this, and he can't help but move your legs, pulling you closer to him in his usual rough manner- he's not capable of being all gentle and sweet, after all. He tries, he really does, but Jungkook is like an overgrown puppy; he doesn't know how much strength he actually has. And it shows, as you squeak, painfully so, as he had gripped your legs a bit too tightly; fingerprints already an angry red on your skin, and he cooes at you, apologizing. "I'm sorry, so sorry.." He hushes against your skin, placing sweet kisses on the pulsing marks on your leg. "can't help it baby.." He muses, and you simply nod your head, hands reaching out for him as he smiles again, kissing your lips, finally.
He's never been fond of the gesture before, not understanding why something as unsanitary as this could be meant to signify any romance at all. But eventually he's gotten to know the intimacy of it, and had decided for himself that he'll never kiss anyone but you in his life. He doesn't want anyone but you anyways. You're his, for now, and forever.
"You're so sweet angel, you know that?"
He humms it against your neck as he finally rids himself of his own clothes, erection hard and proudly waiting to bury itself into your sweet cunt. "Hmm.." He humms again, amusement in his voice as he continues to draw patterns over your sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs. "I still can't believe how I fit inside that pretty body of yours." He says, as you suddenly feel the hot skin of his length against your middle. "Can't believe you can take it so well princess." His hand leaves your core finally, as he slowly enters you, making you mewl as he groans.
He doesn't have much self-restraint, but every time you're together like this, you're both amazed by how much he can control himself. The way he plays you like an expensive instrument makes you hang from his hands like a puppet on its strings. And you love it- the simple fact that he's able to do anything he wants with you, yet he'd never use you just to throw you away. He'd never hurt you. You know this.
He grins as he places his hand over the slight bulge forming underneath your skin where his cock is moving inside you, all warm and swollen, impatient as he can't help but move more vigorously, harder than before, as your body moves along with the beat he's giving you. He's in control, its impossible to lie about that and you don't see any problem with that. Your mind is empty, only pleasure remains as he bites down onto your skin again, hands roaming as if they can't decide where they want to stay; because it's the truth after all. He can't decide what he loves most about you, if your body is whats the most desirable or if its your soul locked inside of it and chained to his own like a prisoner. He gets a kick out of this feeling, out of the way you're speared on his cock like the doll you are, and if he desired to, he could simply snap your bones like those pepero snacks you always eat, and it would be just as sweet as they taste. Yet he doesn't- he's being oh so generous with you, letting you live beside him, keeping you as safe as he could at his side, never to let anything come close to you. You're his.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. But he's also head over heels in love with you.
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You don't know what it was this time.
You only know that he's currently in your shared apartment, having returned from Job hunting, and by the sounds of crashing glass, he's probably having another one of those days. You know you should just leave him, but ever so often your own curiosity gets the best of you, and you sit up on the bed, dressed in nothing but a shirt, your panties, and socks to keep your feet warm, since the heating in your apartment broke months ago. You carefully open the bedroom door, peaking around the wood to spot him as he currently kicks his shoes off in an ever so violent manner. He spots you, eyes dark and feral, but this time it's not lust in them. "Get back inside." He barks out, and you know why he does it.
He wants to keep you safe.
Against all odds he knows what he is. He knows he's sick, knows he's a danger to himself and others, and that's why he's always telling you to stay away from him whenever his anger is boiling over like this. It's his way of keeping you safe, keeping you protected and you know better than to go against his own judgement. He knows himself best, after all.
Only as you can hear him hiss in pain do you go against him.
As the apartment grows quiet, you slowly step outside the room again, eyes searching for the form of your boyfriend, before finally spotting him near the kitchen table, one hand on it, while the other is held close to his chest. You can see blood on the white cracked tiled floor close to him, and you immediately grow worried for him. You slowly creep inside the bathroom, retrieving some stuff from the first aid kit, as you walk back outside, spotting him on the couch now. "..kookie?" You carefully ask, wary of any signs of his body that he's not yet down to earth yet. But he doesn't move at all. You slowly walk around the couch, squatting down in front of him as your hands carefully reach out for his inked arm, and he lets you, his eyes eerily not looking at anything at all. You hiss a bit and sit down on his lap as he doesn't argue with you, almost delicately treating his wounded skin. He's probably somehow cut himself on the broken glass from the photo frame he broke. He seems awfully exhausted, which isn't a new sight to you. He usually is after a day like that.
"We're gonna loose the apartment." He says darkly, yet you don't stop what you're doing, simply humming an acknowledgement at him, while you don't look up at him. "Are you even listening?!" He suddenly barks out, grabbing your wrists as you look at him; not in fear however. You simply wait for him, like you always do, until he suddenly looks down onto his hands, letting go of your now red wrists with a look on his face like his favorite puppy has just been killed. "They simply said because of my criminal record they can't employ me-" He began, already getting riled up again as you kissed his cheek to distract him before he could slip again. With you situated on his lap like that, it could prove fatal.
"I'm gonna get a job, from home maybe. We'll figure things out." You softly say, and he doesn't seem like he quite believes you. He doesn't need to, at least not yet. It takes time, but you'll take yourself the time you need, even if its someone else's. Its not like he ever really cared about whats who's after all. "I still love you, you know?" You say, and that's when he breaks.
For the first time in those years you know him, he falls to the ground, crashes onto concrete with full force, and it wrecks through his entire body as he pulls you close, sobbing into your neck as he hiccups and chokes on his emotions, his hug painfully tight, but you don't complain. You're too shocked by his state to react much, other than running a hand over his back in a hopefully soothing manner. He doesn't stop for a moment, and you don't have a good feeling for time, so you cant tell how long you both sit like this, until he's finally exhausted to the point of simple slumping down, asleep as his body finally gives up. You carefully stand up, letting him somehow softly fall to his side as you struggle to pull his legs up to properly lay o the couch. Walking into the bedroom you retrieve blankets for him and yourself, as you crawl underneath his arm to lay against his chest, underneath the blankets, as you try and think of a way to help him.
You can't get a job. Not only because he won't let you, but because you get sick too easily. You're not allowed by doctors advice to work in any field that requires direct customer contact- and sadly that's all your educational level would allow you to work in. It never bothered Jungkook however, if anything he welcomed it as a good reason for you to stay at home, and at his side at all times. For him however, there were different reasons he didn't have a job. He couldn't keep one, with his short temper making him unfit for any job that required him to handle other people. He was a bomb ready to explode any moment at all times, and it was hard for him to land a job at any interview he somehow got. And nowadays, as word got around, no one simply wanted to employ him; stories of him going off at complaints and always being ready to throw hands made him the talk of the town in terms of who to look out for. He also had a criminal record- which didn't make the situation any easier.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. And it's a serious issue.
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You somehow made it another month concerning rent.
With you selling some clothing you made yourself for a reasonable price, you somehow had at least a bit of an income, yet Jungkook didn't really seem like himself these days. He didn't leave the apartment much, and seemed much more grim to everything around him. You somehow thought that maybe he was just in a bad mood- but it seemed like this time things were a bit more serious than that.
"Princess?" He calls, as you rub your hand over the side of your neck, having laid on the couch weirdly as you had been taking a nap recently. You perked up at his call, walking out of the open kitchen to meet his gaze in the living room, his eyes serious as he pats his thighs; an invitation for you to sit down. He likes having you seated on his lap like this; it makes him feel all comfortable, knowing that you're so close to him. "I.." He starts, and visibly struggles with finding the right words for what he wants to say. "I want to get therapy." He states, and its quiet for a moment. You need to process his words for a second, as he never spoke about his issues like this. You never really thought about this option at all, and it makes you feel bad, deep inside, as you now realize that this was something you should've thought about as well, from the start on maybe. But you never wanted him to change for you; making you kick yourself in your thoughts. It never occurred to you that he wasn't changing for you, he didn't need to change for you, he needed to change for himself as well. You simply started to smile, and your arms snaked around his neck as he breathed in your scent, happy that you take this so well. He had struggled with the acceptance of it for a long time, and with you at his side, he knows he can somehow maybe change.
Even if its just a bit.
"I want to be a better man. For me, and mostly for you." He starts, and you attempt to speak, but he smiles, and kisses you instead, successfully shutting you up. "Don't say I don't need to. We know I do." He explains, and you nod. You're curious on why he suddenly realized it, but you decide not to dig too deep, as he currently seems vulnerable enough to you. So you simply let him hold you like this, quietly, calmly, while outside the thunderstorm continues, rain hitting the windows with as much force as the wind sees fit. Its ironic, really. Typically the situation is the opposite.
But somehow it feels like everything is changing, right in that moment. Just a few words have been spoken, but the ones that did make it out were a promise, a vow, a sentence of hope to finally get a hold on the future you both had dreamed about before, tangled in sheets and each others limbs. He's always said he wanted a family, as cheesy as it sounded to him back then, and then he'd laughed about it as if it was a joke. It somehow was, at least during that time it was; how could he be a better father than his if he was just the same? He didn't want his story to take a turn like that, to end up hurting you in the process of his own selfishness just to get what he wanted. No, he wanted something different in his life; he wanted his children to look up to him as a person they could be in awe of not because they were scared, but because they were proud to have them.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. But he's also finally realizing it.
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Therapy never goes smoothly from A to point B. It's never a smooth ride, never a straight line connecting the start to the goal. And Jungkook is feeling that as he walks through the door, fuming after an in his eyes pointless session with his therapist. Why the fuck would they want to know about his childhood? That's his business and his own only, it doesn't concern anyone other than himself. Hell, he never even talked to you about it- and he sure as hell won't start chatting away with a stranger like this. He can't control himself as his fist connects with the wall next to the door, drywall cracking underneath the force as you stand in the middle of the living room, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He's disappointed in himself in that moment; he was supposed to get better. He was supposed to have himself in check by now, it was supposed to end; yet here he is, just the same as a month before he started. You try and walk towards him, and he's ready to tell you to turn around and leave him alone, but he doesn't. For some reason, this is not pure anger he's feeling.
It's frustration.
And it leads to his eyes watering, as he lets you hold him close, your warm palms running over his back as best as you can with the height difference, and he simply lets his forehead rest on your shoulder, breathing while you softly count next to his ear. He concentrates and lets go of his emotions all at once, taking his time to feel them before he opens his mind up to letting them go. It sounded stupid to him when he was told that this could help him, but now that he's doing it, he gets why its being taught. It helps. Its like a bandaid being taken off after your cut has heeled. It hurts a bit as its being taken off, but the fresh air on the newly connected skin feels so good that the short sting before is more than worth it.
He sniffles, and you giggle, making him chuckle as well, as he runs a hand over your head, a silent sign that he's okay now. "Try again next week. You're doing so great now, Kookie." You say, and its this small encouragmenent that makes him grin brightly.
Because as you both stand in the kitchen, making homemade pizza for the first time in ages, he feels at ease with his surroundings. He calms down rather quickly even though some things don't go as planned, and laughs more freely at his own mistakes as you smile brightly at him. Sometimes you feel like crying, seeing him change like this, but you're strong enough to hold it in until he leaves during the day. You're still unsure how the future will be changing, still a lot unknown to the both of you, but for now, you'll continue to keep each others heads above the waves with your sewing, while he does his best at getting better. You know he can make it, you're certain he can, and will.
Because Jungkook is sick. But he's finally getting help.
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You don't know what has happened when he bursts through the door, uncaring to either take off his shoes nor to close it behind him, as he picks you up, spins you around, grinning so much his eyes crinkle at their sides, and you laugh, even though you don't know why he's so happy. "I got a job! Baby, I finally got a job!" He yells, screams almost, and it makes your eyes water; not because he's taking a huge weight off your shoulder, but because this has been one of his biggest goals ever since he started this journey of getting help. He's so happy about it that this time you can't keep it in, you can't stop the tears as they flow out, making you hiccup and wheep into his shoulder as you struggle to get your words out. "Baby- Princess, hey hey-" He says, setting you down as his hands wipe away at your eyes, the letter confirming his acceptance still in his left hand as he worriedly looks at you. "Why are you crying angel? hm?" He cooes, admittedly a bit amused, because he can imagine what's happening.
"I'm so happy!" You squeeze out, before another wave hits you, and he kneels down, holding you tightly again, as he doesn't let go of you, his love for you overflowing inside his veins as it fills his entire body. He's so thankful for your existence in his life, and he will never be truly able to properly tell you that. It's impossible to put it into his words how much he appreciates you staying at his side through this entire endeavor. Every time he's asked why he does this, his answer is always your name on his lips, always spoken with a slight smile, nowadays a bright grin he's not ashamed showing.
You don't let him go until he chuckles. "Will you let me close the door at least?" He asks amused, as he feels the slightly cool breeze coming inside from the complex' hallway. You disconnect yourself from him for a moment, wiping your eyes with your sleeve as he closes the door, finally taking off his shoes at last, as he walks back, running towards you with a playful growl that makes you laugh as you try and run away from him. But he catches you easily, carrying you over his shoulder into the bedroom, where he bites and licks at your neck, hands pinching your sides making you squirm around and laugh, desperately trying to get away from him. He'll never let you, and you know this, so its unsurprising that he's suddenly pulling your sweater over your head, needing to be close to you. It's cold inside the apartment, and you shiver as the almost icy air around you nips at your skin. "Can't wait until we can use the heating again.." He murmurs against your skin as he shifts around a bit, carefully undressing himself before he crawls underneath the heavy covers with you. "then you can flaunt around in your pretty underwear all day without getting cold." He chuckles, as you hit his chest playfully at the remark. "What? Its always so cold I never get to see you in it." He whines, as he reaches between your legs, inked hand easily working you up as you squirm around. "I never get to see your pretty body properly because we have to hide away like this." He complains, and you simply whine at him, as he suddenly enters you. "For now I'll just warm you up like this, hm?" He humms out, and you nod, not really understanding what you're agreeing to, but you do it anyways.
He's awfully slow and soft, you notice, as he' way more collected as usual. "I love this." He suddenly presses out, eyes closed in bliss as he kisses the side if your neck, trailing down to nip at your collarbone, while his hands find yours, intertwining your fingers in a gesture you can only describe as awfully romantic. "I love being able to make love to you." He explains, as you open your eyes a bit, meeting his as he watches you underneath him. "Though I think you don't mind me being a bit rough with you, no?" He playfully suggests, and your cheeks grow a bit red at that, before he laughs, head dipping down to properly kiss your lips, tongue instantly searching for entrance as he doesn't pick up the pace. "Can't wait until you're all round with my baby." He suddenly suggests, and your eyes open wide as you open your mouth to correct him, but you shut up as his eyes meet yours, determination in them as he suddenly grabs the behind of your thighs, positioning them a bit differently to hit even deeper. "I know, I know-" He chants, as he picks up his pace. "I don't care." He presses out between his own heavy breaths. "I'll just-" He begins, loving the way you mewl under his touch, "I'll just fuck you over and over again until it works." He promises, and you simply nod, unable to deny him. The chances you'll ever conceive are slim- but as he states, never zero. "I'll just- I'll just fill you up until your body can't help but give me a child." He muses, as you start to clench. And he knows, notices, how much this idea is just as enticing to you as it is to him. "You gonna cum? Hm?" He asks, and you nod vigorously before you arch your back off the mattress, making him groan as he shoots his load as well, the visual image of your pleasure underneath him combined with the way you clench his aching length inside granting him his release as well.
As you lay on your sides, all snuggled up underneath the covers after cleaning up, he kisses your bare shoulder, eyes closed. "I mean it, you know." He says, and you humm a reply, before he explains further. "I want a family with you. Someday. When I'm ready." He says, and you nod. You'll somehow make it work, you know this. If he can overcome his demons, you can overcome your own cursed body as well. You deeply hope, at least.
Because Jeon Jungkook is sick, but he's starting to see a future.
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"Jeon!" His coworker yells in the big hall he's working in. "Why, pray tell, did you never tell us your girl is that fucking pretty, aye?" He barks in a playful manner, as you walk inside beside the old man, carrying a small plastic bag with what he assumes is a lunchbox. The view of you next to that man stirs something inside him, as he slowly gets up, wrench still in his hand, brows furrowed.
"Because your filthy hands should stay six feet away from her." He responds, with his brows still furrowed, before he finally sneezes.
"Bless you, hah! I'll let you have your break earlier-" The old man winks at you, then gives Jungkook a firm hit against the chest, taking the wrench away from him. "But only because she's cute!" He laughs, as he walks into the hall, Jungkook now walking towards you.
You're proud of him.
Months ago, this would've never been possible; neither the simple fact that he had a job, nor the small incident with his coworker just now. He still got easily irritated, but he worked through these emotions way more easy nowadays. His coworkers and boss know of his past, know what he was like and know that he's still deep in therapy, but they don't judge. They simply accept him, tame him back into his cage whenever he's close to boiling over again. You love the fact that you can walk inside the breakroom with him, eyes sparkling with newfound childish playfulness as he peaks inside the bag you brought him. He's still very careful with you leaving the house, but its not anymore just for his own gain- he's more open to his surroundings, he's starting to think about how he and his actions can affect others. He doesn't care much still; but he's realized that pretending is enough for now. Small steps.
"The handyman was there today." You say, as you watch him dig into the fried rice you brought him, his interest now gained. "They turned on the heating again. Can you imagine? I didn't even know we had floorboard heating!" You exclaimed excitedly, and Jungkooks eyes widen as well.
"Really? I didn't know either. Fuck, can't wait to come home now." He says, swallowing his bite before taking a sip of his canned soda. "Did that label contact you yet?" He asks, and you shake your head. Recently, you had gained the interest of a bigger clothing label, who wanted to collaborate with you for this season's designs. "Ah, that takes time I guess. We'll wait, its fine." You know he's not only saying that for you, but himself as well. He still gets agitated over small things, but he deals with them a bit more easily. "I'll be home in a couple hours. Do you wanna wait here, or go home?" He asks, and you stand up, packing his now empty food container as you smile.
"I'll take the bus, don't worry." You say, and he furrows his brows playfully.
"Mask?" He asks, and you hold it up proudly, well aware of the precautions you need to take to make public transport safe for you.
"Good girl. Text me when you're home yeah? I'll get us takeout for dinner." He says, as he kisses the top of your head. You nod, and wave him goodbye as you two go separate ways, at least for now, until he's finally free of work.
Jeon Jungkook is sick.
But he's slowly healing.
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heyo your imagines are amazing and i like reading them so much. i really appreciate you for writing for Alice in borderland as there isn’t a lot of content out there~ can you please write an imagine for niragi where the reader has been at the beach for quite the time and when she gets to know niragi she somehow falls for him because she sees right through him, and that he maybe starts to develop feelings for the reader too because she’s fearless and very confident. if it’s not too much trouble, could you make it a bit suggestive as well? thank you in advance~~
Of course I can! I’m not the best at writing with suggestive themes so I’ll try my best! 😅 I’m sorry but I changed the story line a little bit for it to fit more, so I hope this is still kind of what you had in mind.
Unlovable | Suguru Niragi
{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}
Character(s): Niragi (ft. Ann, Aguni, Hatter, Mira, Chishiya, Arisu, Last Boss)
Summary: Niragi finally finds you, who loves him for who he is, well, not exactly. And he gets a bit too attached.
Warnings: toxic relationship, suggestive themes, a lot of gaslighting, obsessive themes, a little bit angsty, threatening, choking, swearing, name calling
Word Count: 3.2k
*reader is female
Author’s Note: Sorry this took a while to post. I was busy for the past couple of days so it’s kinda rushed 😣
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“Y/N! Come quick!”
You jolted awake as Ann burst into your room, shaking the door frame from the force. You blinked your eyes to adjust to the light, looking at her dazed.
“What?” you murmured, sitting up and out of the comfy sheets on your bed. 
“The executives have called a meeting. They say it’s urgent,” she stressed, rushing up to the side of your bed and ripping the duvet off of you.
You shivered and sighed loudly in disappointment. “Why? It’s too early for this shit,” you whined, rolling back onto your side and closing your eyes again. These urgent emergency meetings have become ridiculous, always taking place in the morning when everyone’s still sleeping. You would gladly have quit having the higher place at The Beach if it meant for you to have some peace and quiet.
“Now!” Ann pushed again. You groaned in annoyance and got out of bed. She seemed serious, so you didn’t want to anger her more.
You both quickly made your way to the top floor where the meeting room for the executives was located. You noticed Ann’s heavy breathing and worried expression, making you anxious as to what she thinks could have happened.
Hatter had left the night before to replenish his visa, having a big celebration as he drove off with Aguni and a few more of his men. Things had been becoming more tense as time went on. It felt wrong watching Hatter drive away so reluctantly. You offered to assist him in his game, seeing as you earned yourself a high number at The Beach from clearing many difficult games yourself. But Hatter declined, insisting that he would return to The Beach safe and sound before you knew it.
But unfortunately, he was wrong.
You and Ann rushed into the large room. You saw Arisu and Chishiya standing near the end of the table placed in the middle of the room. You strolled over to them and laid eyes on the scene before you.
There, Hatter laid dead on the table. Limbs spread out lifeless, skin pale and dead. The horrific sight made you feel sick, making you cover your mouth with your hand. The scene almost felt unreal, this shouldn’t have happened. Hatter wouldn’t be dead if you just went with him.
Ann walked over to his body to examine it, but before she even had the chance to touch the bullet wound embedded in his bare chest, Niragi barged into the room with his usual cocky and obnoxious aura filling the air like a bad smell.
“Oi, don’t touch him as you please. You dissection maniac,” he growled.
Your eyes followed him closely. Now that Hatter was gone, people like him could start dangerous trouble at the hotel. But, as long as you said something about it, you would make sure Niragi wouldn’t start any fires that he’s not willing to put out himself.
After all, you were the only person who knew his true self, and how he perceived everyone around him. It was pathetic really. In a way you took pity on him. Such a simple tactic for the brain to protect itself, become a heartless and cold monster towards others so no one could ever do the same to you again.
With Niragi, unfortunately it was hunt or be hunted.
You kept your strong gaze on him as he lifted his eyes to meet yours from across the table for a hot minute. His dark orbs glistened as they locked with yours, making the tension in the room become thicker as every second passed. He smirked in your direction before turning away.
“He was shot by a gun,” Ann stated, breaking the thick silence in the room. She looked over the small hole in his chest in fascination.
“What will happen to The Beach?” a young man asked who was standing nearby you. You stayed silent, not wanting to start anything that may end in chaos. You always had good points and valid arguments, but sometimes you knew when the best time was to bring them up. This was not it.
“I mean it’s only reasonable for the strongest to become the new leader!” Niragi exclaimed over everyone. “We need someone who can take good care of The Beach and keep order,” he yapped on, swinging his sniper rifle all around making a few people flinch when he aimed it at them.
You rolled your eyes at his behaviour. Trust him to be the most opinionated.
“I say, how about Aguni as our new leader,” he suggested, leaning forwards onto the table and watching everyone like a hawk. Aguni held no reaction, keeping his usual cold stone expression while having Niragi speak for him.
After no one reacted, all looking down to the ground to avoid Niragi’s gaze, he stood up straight and pulled a bored expression. “That’s not a good reaction,” he mocked, “Last Boss?”
You glanced over to where the hooded figure stood, watching in fear as he unsheathed his katana sword and rushed over to Ann, holding the deathly sharp blade a few inches from her throat. Your heart leaped to your mouth. If he was to try anything, you were ready to start chaos.
But nothing of the sort happened. Ann simply sighed frustratingly and held up her hand obediently. Niragi hummed, approving.
“This isn’t a majority vote,” Mira hissed from next to him.
Niragi stood and leaned his face close to hers, holding the barrel of his weapon close to her face to threaten her. “But it is! Isn’t it? After all, you’re all free to vote as well.”
One by one, he slowly circled the table, each person being scared for their life the closer he got to them. But you remained calm next to Chishiya, knowing that considering the relationship you have with Niragi, he wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you. He didn’t have the guts to.
As he moved from Chishiya, he finally locked eyes with you. He quickly strolled up to your still frame, stopping suddenly very close to you in an attempt to make you feel threatened. ‘As usual,’ you thought to yourself. ‘The old “I’m taller and bigger than you so I’m stronger” stupid tactic.’
“And what about you princess? Care to raise your hand for a vote for Aguni?” he hissed into your face. You held your neutral expression, becoming bored from this act he was putting on. It was purely for show, and yet wasn’t everyone’s personality? But Niragi, his act of this scary psychotic man angered you to your core.
“What if I don’t?” you snickered, walking towards him in an attempt of intimidation. He took a step back in shock. “It’s not like you need my precious vote, you already have so many.”
Niragi’s usual cocky smirk melted from his face, turning into a frustrated scowl. You felt him put his rifle underneath your chin, forcing you to lock eyes with him. “Be careful with that tongue of yours sweetheart, you wouldn’t want to lose it,” he growled quietly.
His threat made you smirk, almost bringing butterflies into your stomach. “I think you should be more concerned about that head of yours. You wouldn’t want to get it stuck too far up your own ass.”
You flinched as you felt his rough hand shoot from his rifle to your neck, instantly tightening around your throat making you widen your eyes in surprise. You lifted your arm and gripped his wrist in case he tightened his hold anymore. The look on his face was deathly. If looks could kill, you’d be already a few years into the afterlife.
Chishiya stood beside you watching the whole scene. He knew better than to intervene, as he could tell that Niragi wouldn’t ever intentionally permanently hurt you.
Niragi held you still as he leaned down to your ear, his hot breath hitting your sensitive skin. “Shut your fucking mouth you brat. You wouldn’t want me to hurt you too much later, would you?” You cringed as you felt his tongue slide behind the back of your ear, the piercing making you shiver.
“Niragi,” you heard Aguni say, saving you from the public embarrassment of getting felt up by Niragi in front of everyone you knew. “That’s enough, I think she gets the point.”
Niragi grunted in annoyance before loosening his fist on your neck. You sucked in a huge gasp of air, coughing slightly. Chishiya placed a gentle hand on your back in a sign of care, hoping that you’re okay.
Niragi aimed his rifle lazily at Chishiya’s face. “She’s fine, don’t touch her. A little choking is nothing she can’t handle.”
Chishiya immediately took his hand off of you, being taken back by Niragi’s comment.
You stood up straight after recovering, laying your eyes back on Niragi as he continued terrorizing the executive members.
God you hated that man. You hated how much you loved him.
*************
The room was now empty, consisting of no one except for you and Ann, who was still looking over Hatter’s body for any other injuries. You watched curiously, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.
“Seems a bit weird, doesn’t it?” you spoke up through the silence.
“What does?” Ann answered, not bothering to look at you.
“Someone with a hundred percent winning streak dies now? Just as the tension between the militants and the others was getting to its peak?” you questioned.
Ann rolled her eyes sarcastically and turned towards you. “Took you long enough to figure out. Really? You didn’t suspect that from the start? Even after that shit-show that Niragi pulled earlier?”
You were taken back by her sudden anger. Ann never became mad at you, even if she had a legitimate reason to. You looked at her as she stared into your eyes intensely before sighing and turning back to Hatter.
“Sorry Y/N,” she apologized. “I’m just stressed. This shit is getting too heavy to handle, and now with Hatter gone and Aguni in his place, who knows what will happen to people like you, me, Mira, Chishiya and Alice. They could kill us if they want to.”
Her words hit your heart heavily. It was true. Aguni and his militants were never a particularly predictable bunch. And you weren’t exactly on all their good sides, well, except for Niragi’s.
“Sorry Ann,” you muttered out quietly. You thought it would be best to leave her alone. She obviously was quite distraught from Hatter’s death.
You shuffled out of the room, head held low in despair. Who knew what would happen to this place now? It was like a ticking time bomb only no one knew how long there was left until it exploded.
As you walked through the large door frame that led outside of the meeting room, a sudden grip on your arm brought you out of your thoughts and made you yelp. You were yanked into a hard chest, being held close and tight.
“Hey love. How are you feeling?” the person growled. You looked to see it was none other than Niragi himself. Of course it was, who else would treat you so roughly?
You stared into his ominous eyes, trying to read him. He ran his hand down your back slowly causing you to shiver. “Niragi,” you breathed out. You pushed against his broad chest to separate you. “Sorry, but I’m not in the mood right now.”
You stepped away from him and tried to escape down the hall, but he grabbed your hand before you could go anywhere. “Bullshit. You’re never in the mood. And the sass you were giving me in there in front of everyone says otherwise.” He pulled you back towards him, pushing your head onto his shoulder and nuzzling into your neck. “I didn’t like how you treated me, it made me upset.”
He was lying through his teeth, knowing that making you feel guilty for defending yourself against him would bring him more of your attention. Simple gaslighting, worked every time.
You chuckled against him then leaned back and cupped his face with your hands. He held a sad expression on his face, obviously to make you sympathetic.
“You’re such a big baby,” you laughed. “Try to act so tough and dominant in front of everyone, but look at you now. Crying into my shoulder about your feewings?” you mocked him. Niragi scowled and pulled his head out of your hands. “Shut up, as if you’re any better.”
It was true. That’s why you both clicked together. He was a gaslighting maniac who knew how to put up a fake ‘nice guy’ façade around you and you were a tough and snappy woman, who felt much too much empathy for others.
That’s how you fell into his trap. He used your empathy to his advantage, making you fall in love with him so he could have what he’d always wanted. Someone who loves him for who he is, no matter how many masks he had to put on for them.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, leaning up and pressing a small peck onto his lips. “Can you promise me something?” he suddenly asked after you pulled away from his face.
You grew anxious about what he wanted and nodded your head slowly in hesitation.
“When the chance comes, can we leave The Beach together? Like, run away?” he questioned, snaking his arms around your waist and squeezing tightly.
You laughed at his question, making him frown. He was being completely serious. “And go where Niragi? There’s not exactly a place we can go to.”
“Anywhere,” he answered sharply. “We could find a nice little hideout in Tokyo. Just you and me, no one else.” His grip on your waist tightened, making you flinch in his arms slightly.
He could see you tossing between answers. It wasn’t working, he had to try something else. He put on the fakest sad face he could do and pressed his forehead against yours while pouting. “Please? I promise I’ll take care of you.”
You practically melted as his begging. “Okay,” you sighed.
“Promise me,” he reminded you, running a hand through your soft hair.
There was a short moment of silence before you answered. “I promise.”
*************
You laid in your room with the sheets tossed lazily over you. Niragi was called to go talk to Aguni again before he went to sleep, so you were waiting for him.
Your eyes scanned your book quickly, wanting to finish the chapter you were on before Niragi returned. Because god forbid you having your attention on something that wasn’t him when he was around.
You glanced over at the door when you heard it creep open and Niragi stepped in, placing his sniper rifle carefully on the ground nearby and removing his boots.
“You took your time.” you teased, putting your book on the nightstand and sitting up in bed. Niragi groaned tiredly, stumbling over to your shared bed and collapsed dramatically face down onto the duvet. You giggled at him, running a soft hand though his midnight hair and pulling it out of it’s hair tie.
If he was a cat, he swore he could’ve purred at your touch. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Not having physical affection for years on end does that to a person.
He sat up and crawled over to you. He grabbed your chin and pressed your lips together roughly, running his tongue across your mouth as he did so. You groaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, making him smirk against your lips.
After a few minutes, he detached his lips from yours and started licking and sucking your sensitive skin on your jaw, slowly making his way down your neck. He felt shivers run down his spine as you gripped his shirt in your fist on his back. He loved having this power over you, and having you accept him and love him enough to not fight back.
You leaned your head back and closed your eyes, giving him more access to your neck. As you did so, he placed a hand on your lower back and pulled you towards him, forcing you to lie down on the bed with him hovering over you.
He pulled away from your neck and looked down at you, admiring your anxious expression painted across your face. He chucked. “What’s wrong baby,” he cooed, leaning down and continuing kissing your collarbones.
His voice was dripping in sweetness, so sweet it could’ve made you feel sick. It sounded fake, but you didn’t pick up on it. It was a shame. You saw Niragi as nothing but a victim of his own mind, but you weren’t able to see yourself becoming a victim of it.
“I’m just...” you mumbled out, feeling weak and vulnerable under his touch. “I’m scared Niragi.”
He pulled back again and looked into your eyes with a worried expression. “Why are you scared? It’s just me and you here angel. You’re perfectly safe,” he whispered out, stroking his knuckles down your cheek lovingly.
You knew you loved Niragi, but knowing he can change his personality in a blink of an eye unsettled you. Who knew when he would do that to you? You heard him speak up again.
“We’ve slept together many times before, why are you becoming shy just now?” he teased, lifting a hand and slowly running it up along your tummy underneath your shirt. Your breath hitched as his cold hands made contact, making your stomach muscles tense.
“So sensitive,” he cooed again, snuggling his head into your chest, just above your breasts. “I love you.”
The confession made your heart skip a beat and you tensed. Niragi noticed this, making his body fill with anxiety. Did he say it too soon?
“Sorry,” he mumbled against your shirt. “That was a bit much, you don’t have to say it back,” he gaslighted.
“No,” you cut him off. “I love you too.”
Niragi’s heart filled with warmth and he felt all his nerves tingle around his body. He hadn’t heard that since he was a kid, and hearing you say it did nothing but make him more fall in love.
“Thank you, Y/N,” he sniffed out. You looked down to see him staring at you, tears filling his eyes. It made your heart ache.
He took his body weight off you and hovered himself above you again. “I promise, I won’t let anyone ever hurt you,” he mumbled, voice cracking slightly. His arms that laid on either side of your head acted like a cage. Whether you were trapped willingly or forcefully was beyond your guess.
As he leaned his head down again and pressed his still wet lips against yours, you felt his lanky arms snake around your torso underneath you, keeping you in place.
You laid there, moving your mouths together and holding each other as close as possible. It would’ve almost been romantic and loving if it wasn’t for the context. While one was preying on their victim to achieve what they’ve so desperately wanted their whole life, the other believed that that person was the victim themselves.
Such irony, to love someone who has a ‘unlovable’ personality, when it’s not even the one that you fell in love with.
The one you fell in love with was nothing but one of his many masks. And no one could determine whether he would ever take it off in front of you.
Author’s Note: I’m so sorry this one was actually hard to write. It’s a bit all over the place but I hope it was still enjoyable to read! Also I’m not going to do a Part 2 to this fic, but if you want to read something similar to this kind of yandere theme with Niragi, read my other fic called You’re Everything You Once Hated. I’m going to be posting a Part 2 of that one soon.
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jisungful · 3 years
Text
abandoned.
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summary :: breaking into an old abandoned elementary school isn’t always the best idea.
pairing :: chenle x gn!reader x jisung (platonic)
genre :: horror/thriller
warnings :: all characters are kind of dumb (first person to die in a horror movie type beat), breaking and entering, implied serial killer!au, murder, blood, descriptions of gore, psychotic actions, character death, all that stuff :D
word count :: 2.4k
a/n :: as I was writing this, I practically scared myself D: also the ending is kinda rushed but oh well
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The end of the school year was supposed to be fun, full of surprises, and that one surprise was Chenle clinging onto you like a koala with a tree. Up to this point, you hadn’t thought of how much of an interesting boy he could be--but him giving you physical affection? You could never believe it.
Chenle let go of you before saying, “Come to the library with me and Jisung,” His hair was messy, as well as his uniform shirt. You assumed he just went around hugging other people besides you. He grinned at you, “We’re planning to do something fun as a celebration for the last day of school! Let’s go!” He grabbed your wrist tightly, but not enough to cause circulation loss, at least. You began contemplating whether or not it was a good idea to follow suit of the boy, knowing him. Nonetheless, you were curious.
You both arrived at the library, seeing Jisung already sitting at one of the tables reading a comic. Sitting down in front of the boy, he closed the book once he felt your presences. He greeted with a small smile, you and Chenle doing the same. “Alright listen,” Chenle started, clearing his throat before broadcasting the plan aloud, “We’re going to go to my elementary school—but with a twist.” He grinned before continuing, “It’s been so long since I’ve been there, so it’s abandoned now and I’m pretty sure no one monitors it anymore. Although... it is still intact so we need to break in.”
“Woah, wait, we are not going to break into an elementary school.” you cautioned.
Chenle rolled his eyes and rested his palm on his jawline. “It’s not like it’s haunted or anything. As I said, no one monitors it anymore--you guys just aren’t fun.”
Jisung clasped his hands together before letting out a sigh, “I thought you were joking at first and just wanted to go and play on the playground or something. But seriously?” He shuddered slightly, subconsciously flipping the pages of the comic he was reading earlier. You nodded at him before returning your gaze back on Chenle. All that was written on his face was smugness.
“We have to try it once. Think about it! It’ll be fun, you know? It’s like in movies, we just have to be cautious of our surroundings.” Chenle assured.
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You can’t believe you’re doing this. You really can’t. It was 3 fucking am and you decided it was a great idea to go along with Chenle (out of everyone else in the world) and his plan to break into his old elementary school just for fun.
You packed your backpack with a few essential items: a flashlight, a few bottles of water, a baseball bat, and a crowbar. You kept it unzipped at the top so they could all fit, keeping your phone in your spacious hoodie pocket. You put on a mask and a beanie to keep yourself covered in case of security cameras. You put on your backpack, adjusting to the heaviness. If you were being honest, you had this rush of nervousness flowing through your body, the fear of not knowing what will happen to the three of you once you break in and enter the abandoned building. Nonetheless, you head to your front door to walk to Chenle’s house as the three of you decided to go to beforehand. Step by step, your body grew warmer as anxiety rose. It hadn’t hit you that you’d never done this before--you were always the type to stay in and not go out doing reckless activities; but here you are, doing that exact thing.
Immediately as you stepped on Chenle’s rug that was placed in front of the door, it opened, him now in front of you. He moved aside for you to enter the place. “You got everything?” He questioned and you nodded. “Jisung’s not here yet, so I guess we have to just wait.”
You both sat on his leather couch, staring down at the empty mug with thoughts roaming your brain. It wasn’t breaking in that was scaring you--but the thought of getting caught and living with the guilt that you had done something illegal was. Attempting to engage in conversation, you spoke, “How did you even come up with this idea?”
Chenle chuckled lightly, fiddling with the watch on his wrist. “It just came to my head out of nowhere, I guess.”
Hearing the sound of knocking on the door, you stood up abruptly, Chenle following after. You both headed to the front and opened it for Jisung. “You have everything, right? We should go now.” Jisung nodded and let out a breath he was previously unknowingly holding.
You three went inside of Chenle’s car, with Chenle driving and Jisung and you seated at the back. You took off your backpack and placed it on the floor of the car, the weight removed gave you sudden relief on your shoulders. Jisung plugged his phone into the aux cord and played soft, lo-fi music to soothe the nerves that were getting to you unknowingly.
You sighed, laying your head on the headrest of the car seat, looking out the window. It was a rather peaceful night despite what you were going to do in a couple of minutes—stars beginning to deem visible across the vast, dark sky, with only a few cars passing by in which you could count with your fingers. That was when you felt eyes boring into the back of your head, and you turned to see Jisung staring at you. You furrowed your brows and muttered a ‘what’. “I’m nervous, Y/N,” he breathed out, fear clearly laced in his voice.
You bit your lip. “It was Chenle’s idea, we can blame him for all of this.” you joked.
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The elementary school definitely does not look as you expected--before coming, you imagined it to be completely abandoned, having growing moss on the walls, windows that were broken or punched, or even having “caution” tape around it. You guess it only happens in movies. But this school looked almost normal, for some reason, with only overgrown trees around it as the leaves fell on it. You let out a soft sigh, relieved that it looks fairly approachable and safe to go into.
“This is crazy, it’s been so long since I’ve been here. Let’s go!” Chenle beamed. You looked at Jisung for a moment, giving him a reassuring smile and a nod before putting on your heavy backpack and exiting the car as he did as well.
The three of you stood outside of the back door of the building, looking around for any suspicious cameras though found none. You pulled your mask up further before checking on Chenle and how he’s putting up with his attempts at opening the door. “I can’t find any key,” he grunted. You offered him the crowbar that was hanging off your backpack, and to your luck, it worked on opening the door. Jisung let out a surprised sound as he stood behind you.
The back door led to the gym in which you stood. It was empty, except for the lone basketball that sat in the middle of the vast room. The lights didn’t work, so you came to the conclusion that it would be best to use your flashlights, instead. You followed Chenle as he was the only person that knew the way around this place. He went toward the door which led to the hallway of the school, which connected to the many classrooms. The atmosphere felt terribly dismal, and it didn’t leave you with a good feeling. You couldn’t help but focus on the smell that hadn’t been freshened up for years.
“This is my 4th-grade classroom,” He slid open the door and across the room were sprawled out desks and chairs--it was like a forest, avoiding all of these objects just to get to the other side was like a journey in itself. In the back of the room were stapled class pictures of old students and teachers on a corkboard. Chenle desperately searched for the photo with him in it, searching across what seemed like around 10+ photographs. “Ah, here’s me!” He said, gesturing for you and Jisung to come to him. He pointed to his 10-year-old self, shining a flashlight on it to show it clearer. “It’s crazy how it’s still here.”
“You were cute,” Jisung commented.
“Are you saying I’m not cute now?” Chenle scoffed jokingly. He removed the photo from the corkboard and shoved it neatly into the small pocket of his backpack, thinking of showing it to his parents later today once he figures out a good enough excuse to where he found it.
You yawn, eyes getting tired minute by minute, second by second as you continue your journey throughout the huge school. You entered room 3B, which seemed like a music room—chairs stacked in 5’s, music sheets laying on the scattered desks, posters of musicians and guitar and piano chords on the walls begging to fall down to the ground as the tape holding it up collects dust. A piano lies near the corner of the room and Chenle sits on the bench that stood in front of it. He plays a mellow tune as you and Jisung look at all of the instruments that were isolated in a metal storage cabinet. You take out a recorder and try to remember the notes of the infamous ‘Hot Cross Buns’—however your memorization skill isn't the best and you end up with random noises. Jisung laughs at your attempt and you laugh back, putting the instrument back to where it was placed. You head towards Chenle, who was heavily concentrated on playing the song that was on the sheet on the music desk. You listen to the pretty sounds until he stops for a moment.
“It sounds beautiful,” you say.
Chenle chuckles before standing up and ruffling his hair, “I know, I’ve been playing practically since birth, you know?”
You both stood there, the moonlight reflecting on your skin through the thin glass. You turn your head, “Where’s Jisung?” You had thought the boy would follow you when you were walking toward Chenle—but he didn’t. There was no third shadow moving alongside yours and the boy beside you; the atmosphere grew cold. You beckoned Chenle to come with you before walking towards the classroom door to once again enter the hallway.
“Jisung! Are you an idiot? Where are you?” Chenle shouted out loud but there was no voice that followed. A curse word was muttered, you begin scrambling out of the music room to find the 5’11 boy that suddenly vanished into thin air. You knew how afraid he was during the car ride here and you never thought you would leave him alone like this. You stuck by Chenle’s side as you searched through most of the classrooms in the building.
No sign.
You were startled as you unlocked the door to the janitor’s closet, shining your flashlight down the stairwell that was somehow built in the tiny room. “Chenle, come here,” you beckoned. He rushed to you quickly; his eyes widened once he saw what was hidden inside the room.
“I’ve never seen this before,” he chuckled, “Maybe Jisung went in here, but for what?” You shrugged at the boy’s assumption, furrowing your brows before stepping in. Jisung was always curious about the world—you might think it’s his first life and he’s fascinated by every small detail that the universe could give him. Though, you would never expect that he would be curious about this particular stairwell.
A horrid smell hit you both once you reached halfway down the staircase. You muttered a curse word, “Fuck. It smells rotten in here,” Chenle agreed, nodding at you. You continued your way down to see Jisung’s body lay flat on the floor like a ragdoll. You took in a sharp breath as you quickened your steps down to see six other bodies lay in front of him. You rapidly shout out the boy’s name as you frantically attempt to shake him awake, wishing in the back of your mind that he hadn’t ended up like the bodies that were obviously sitting beside you.
Jisung groaned, sitting right side up as he held his head. “What happened to you?!” You question, helping him stand up. He looked around the room once more before taking two steps back when he watched the dead bodies lay on the floor.
He shook his head rapidly as his hands held onto your wrist. “I-I just saw that and I don’t know what happened but…” he shut his eyes. “I should’ve stayed with you guys. I’m so so so sorry.” You hear footsteps nearing you, both of your heads turn to the sound.
“Jisung!” You yell out. You froze once you see crimson flow out of his neck. Your eyes follow the holder of the knife’s arm to his face slowly. You stared with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “Chenle, what the fuck are you doing?!” you breathed out.
Chenle tilted his head back with a slight close-lipped smile, enigmatic. Your eyes filled with tears as you watched Jisung’s blood drip, his arms holding onto what he thought was his best friend. “It’s so fun doing this!” he giggled, eyes crinkling through his smile. He pulled out the knife before quickly stabbing it back inside Jisung’s neck. “Is little Jisung whimpering? I’m just playing with you!” His psychotic laughter soon filled your ears and your breath quickened once you watched as Chenle stabbed him in the stomach laying on top of Jisung, a dark red pours onto the floor steadily. You wanted to look away but your body could do nothing but be full of shock.
Chenle’s head jerked toward your direction. You gulped as he stood up to walk toward you with an innocent smile. Once he cornered your back to the wall, he dragged the knife covered in blood along your jawline. You winced as the sharp blade cut through your delicate skin, you clutched onto nothing making your knuckles turn white. “P-please…” you whisper.
His smile dropped once the knife entered the side of your torso. “Now, you two can be with me forever.”
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hopeymchope · 3 years
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Judging the Danganronpa x Sanrio character pairings
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You may have already heard that a DANGANRONPA X SANRIO line of crossover merch was announced a few days ago! Which is obviously AMAZING, because they’re combining cutesy characters that have often been marketed to wee children with everybody’s favorite murderdeathkill game! I LOVE IT.
I have a niece who went through a Sanrio/Hello Kitty phase, so I actually know a few of these characters. In turn, this means that I have THOUGHTS on how the DR1 and Sanrio cast were paired up.
Granted, I still had to look up a lot of these guys and read about them. But now I feel adequately educated to the point where I can judge just how well the Danganronpa and Sanrio pairings actually match up. 
Makoto Naegi/Cinnamoroll - Obviously this totally works because Makoto IS something of a cinnamon roll, eh? EH? But Cinnamoroll is said to be shy albeit still very friendly. He also likes to seek out fun new adventures. So, aside from “very friendly,” I’m not sure that this sounds like Makoto. I also doubt that calling a character a “cinnamon roll” is common slang in Japan. So this is whatever.
Sayaka Maizono/Wish Me Mell - Mell has the power to connect people’s hearts by simply stating the feelings they keep inside. She was initially withdrawn and believed she didn’t have any friends, but the people who cared for her finally broke through her shell and convinced her that she DOES have friends. So uh, Maizono... I guess music can also bring out people’s feelings? And perhaps you could plausibly HC that Sayaka has often felt like her surrounding friends were “fake” and only there because of her celebrity status. There’s not really much to go on here. 
Leon Kuwata/Tiran - Tiran is an orange T-rex that is said to be scatterbrained but still a strong and reliable leader. Meanwhile, Leon has orange hair, and he’s certainly strong and kind of scatterbrained sometimes. It sorta works.
Kyoko Kirigiri/Marroncream - Marroncream is bright, positive, and fashionable. She is talented at making crafts and sweets. She lives in Paris. She has nearly nothing in common with Kyoko, although Kyoko did live abroad a lot in her younger years. So I could try to latch onto the Paris thing.
Hifumi Yamada/Pokopon - Pokopon is a raccoon that loves to read but dislikes ghosts and “the thunder god.” (uh... what?) He also finishes his sentences with the unusual suffix “-das.” Of course, Hifumi loves to write (which certainly is connected to reading), and he likes to end all names with a weird suffix (”-dono”), so I can see how they might make a cute pair.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru/Pekkle - Pekkle is a duck who is good-natured and kind. He loves to sing and dance. It kind of sounds like he should’ve been matched with Sayaka, but instead he’s here with Taka. While Ishimaru is definitely a good person, I don’t think most people would immediately describe him as “kind.” And he certainly isn’t known for his love of music.
Yasuhiro Hagakure/Monkichi - Monkichi is a laid-back, easygoing guy who is upbeat and loves puns. His dream is to become a poet. It’s said that once he sets his mind on something, there is no stopping him! And in comparison, Hagakure is... well, he’s kind of laid-back in the sense that he’s kind of lazy? But he’s actually pretty high-stress a lot of the time, too. Honestly, there’s not much linking the two.
Chihiro Fujisaki/Kurousa and Shirousa - Shirousa is the white one and is the older sibling to Kurousa, the brown one. Shirousa is described as an energetic leader and Kurousa is described as being nice but lazy. They like to make cakes. What does any of this have to do with Chihiro? Beats me. This particular pairing is nonsense.
Byakuya Togami/Badtz-Maru - Badtz-Maru is said to have a bad attitude and dreams of being “the boss of everything” when he grows up. He tends to act a bit selfish, and he mocks things he dislikes/disagrees with. He enjoys expensive food and collecting photos of movie villains. With the exception of that last point, I’d have to say that this sounds like a near-perfect match for Togami.
Mondo Owada/Goropikadon - The Goropikadon are a group of cave boys whose actual names are Goro (blue hair), Pika (pink hair), and Don (teal hair). Goro is always hungry and joking around. PIka is a thoughtful, shy mama’s boy. Don is serious and places a high value on honesty. Overall, I suppose that how quick Mondo is to get angry and resort to violence kind of makes him seem like a stereotypical caveman? But in terms of their distinct personalities, only Don’s focus on honesty rings true for Mondo. 
Toko Fukawa/Lloromannic - Another multi-character one. The Llormannic are a pair of creatures named Berry (the black one, who is male) and Cherry (the pink one, who is female). They are mischievous and love to play pranks on humans. Cherry was originally alone and created Berry for companionship; however, she mixed up her magic spell ingredients and used salt when she meant to use sugar, which resulted in Berry turning out to be a more hostile being than Cherry. I suppose the fact that Berry is a darker creation of Cherry’s sort of reflects the relationship between Toko and her other self, Genocide(r) Syo/Jack. However, Berry and Cherry are still best friends. Toko and Syo/Jack are definitely not that.
Celestia Ludenberg/Kuromi - Kuromi is the rival of a bunny named “My Melody” who doesn’t appear in this promotion. Kuromi is said to look “tough and punk” in her jester’s hat with the pink skull on it, but in reality she is very girly. She enjoys writing in her diary, reading romance books, cooking, and checking out good-looking guys. I suppose Celestia did have that dream of living in a mansion where she was served by handsome guys dressed as vampires? So... they both like hot guys? But that’s all I’ve got here. Pretty sure this pairing only exists for aesthetic reasons. And admittedly, their aesthetics mesh very well.
Aoi Asahina/Keroppi - Keroppi lives with his family on the edge of Donut Pond. He is bubbly, a fantastic swimmer and, because of the name of his home pond, is often associated with donuts and/or things that are donut-shaped. Ok, so this was an obvious pairing, then. They nailed it. Probably the single best pairing they came up with.
Sakura Ogami/My Sweet Piano - Yes, the character’s name is literally “My Sweet Piano.” She’s described as soft, kind, and girly. Given Sakura’s secret love of girly things, I can see how this soft, pink, girly sheep would be something she’d love to be around. 
Junko Enoshima (...?)/Hello Kitty - Hello Kitty (a.k.a. Kitty White) is described by Sanrio as “cute, bright, sweet, kind-hearted and tomboyish.” They also say that Kitty is very close with her sister, Mimmy. As for Junko... look, the only reason I think maybe this is supposed to be Junko is because Mukuro already has her own Sanrio matchup (see the next entry), but in terms of her appearance, this “Junko” sure looks like it’s “Junkuro.” The telltale sign is that giant bow on the left side of the head, which only Mukuro-as-Junko has ever worn. I doubt we’re supposed to be thinking that they did two Mukuros in two different outfits, though? 
It’s like this: If it’s Junko, well, I guess both Junko and Kitty are icons within their respective brands. And Junko tries to put on a “cute and bright” exterior persona, I guess? But that’s pretty thin. On the other hand, if this is Mukuro in disguise, this is actually a semi-decent matchup! Mukuro is arguably tomboyish and certainly very close to her sister (at least from her own perspective), so these two are not without their parallels. 
In either case, both Kitty and the Unknown Despair Sister have a big bow on the left side of their head. Which I think is the real reason they’ve been paired, honestly.
Mukuro Ikusaba/Little Twin Stars - Kiki and Lala are a pair of twins that were born on December 24th. Mukuro is one half of a pair of twins ALSO born on December 24th. Instant connection! Kiki (the blue-haired boy) loves fishing and inventing things. He is curious and cheeky. Lala (the pink-haired girl) loves drawing, writing poems, and cooking. She is rather timid. In short, the “twins with the same birthdate” thing is the only thing connecting Mukuro to these two. Still, it’s not bad.
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Also, the most amazing thing to come out of this team-up so far HAS TO BE MonoKitty. Hello Kitty cosplaying as our favorite psychotic MurderBear? How great is that? SELL ME MERCH OF MONOKITTY.
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vizowrites · 3 years
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“We” vs “Me”| or “Why BlitzStrike Works So Well For Me But Stolitz [as of episode 6].....Doesn’t”
Alright my Loves, so I said that I was going to talk in further detail about my feelings regarding Stolas and the multi-layered portrayal of his relationship with Blitz in the new episode, and today’s the day where that happens!!  First of all, though, before I really get into my feelings about things, I want to just make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I’m not trying to sway anyone from one side to the other, or trying to shame anyone for shipping two fictional characters.  I’m fully in the boat that you are completely entitled to ship whoever you want, but I also think it’s wise to at least be able to recognize the faults and flaws in a pairing--and especially to be able to recognize them in the context of an IRL relationship.  In this analysis in particular, I’m specifically focusing on these two relationships within the realm of the Helluva Boss universe [......Hell] and within the specific context of their characters as they’ve been portrayed in the show thus far.  And, my biggest disclaimer of all: I’m doing this for no other reason than I felt like putting my jumbled thoughts together into a cohesive post so that they don’t have to stay bouncing and buzzing around in my head.  Please keep that in mind that this is just pure personal opinion and interpretation before anyone comes at me with torches and pitchforks.  <3 <3 
SO WITH THAT LONG ASS DISCLAIMER OUT OF THE WAY 
Let’s finally get to the good stuff.  And the not so good stuff.  :D
So I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone who follows me here that I’m a huge BlitzStrike fan.  What I think fewer people know is that when I first entered the fandom a few months ago, I actually was on board the Stolitz train like so many others that I’ve met here in the fandom.  Naturally Stolitz was the first major pairing I was introduced to, and I did find both the characters of Blitz and Stolas incredibly interesting and compelling in their own rights AND saw the potential in how they could really come to grow into one hell of a relationshp over time.  I was honestly really excited to see it happen, too.  
And then I watched Episode 5 [still my favorite episode, btw] for the first time and had this sudden question hit me like a truck that even now is still relentlessly burning in the back of my mind because I still haven’t found a legitimate answer for it: Why in the FUCK wasn’t Blitz falling head-over-heels in attraction to Striker throughout this fucking episode??
And I don’t mean that in a “They’re so hot and I ship them now why didn’t they get together?? DX DX” kind of way--I mean that in the genuinely perplexed “I don’t understand based on what has been presented to me thus far about Blitz as a character and the storyline overall why he’s reacting so nonchalantly to this whole thing”.  To Note: This is me wondering this from the context of what’s in the show itself, not from any extra fan materials like the Instas or Twitter or just straight up knowing that the most likely answer is that there are people on the creative team that ship Stolitz really hard and realistically wouldn’t have probably written Blitz as being attracted to Striker because that would just be--to quote Jack Sparrow--blowing holes in their own ship.  No, this is me disregarding ALL of that and trying to rationalize this with myself from the perspective of a fan whose entire knowledge of the show and its characters comes exclusively from what’s in the episodes themselves.  .....And that’s where I just can’t find my answer, except for the Stolitz positive “He’s not attracted to Striker because he’s in love with Stolas” answer.  Which really doesn’t even feel like a satisfying answer, because the entire vibe I’ve gotten from Stolitz in the show has just felt.....strangely.....off.  Like, the framework is there and the elements are there, but I’d felt as though they had so far to go still that it would be entire SEASONS before they got there.    
And THEN the new episode [Episode 6] came out and I’d heard a handful of fans going crazy because the show was finally addressing Stolitz in full, and I thought to myself, “Well, maybe if the show really is going to go with saying that the reason Blitz wasn’t interested in Striker is because he’s in love with Stolas.....sure.  I’m curious to see how they finally establish it in an episode, especially since there’s only two more episodes left in the entire first season.”  And then I watched the episode.  And then it hit me why Stolitz just does not do a damn thing for me but BlitzStrike does despite the fact that we’ve had 4/6 episodes [5/7 if you count the Pilot] of Stolitz but only 1/6 [1/7] of potential--not even canonical--BlitzStrike:
When Striker talks about Blitz, or interacts with Blitz, he always talks about them as a “we”.  As a team.  A partnership.  OR he just straight up puts the entire focus on Blitz and his accomplishments and keeps himself out of it entirely.
When Stolas talks about Blitz, he always talks about them within the context of “me”--of himself--of what Blitz does or should do for him.  Even here in episode 6, in the most “selfless” instance we’ve seen yet, where he does ask about Blitz’s safety first BEFORE going right back into how Blitz’s actions affect him and what Blitz should be doing in response for him.  Stolas’s focus is always automatically set to himself--and even when it comes to the people he supposedly loves the most.  
To explain what I mean here, let me give some examples directly from the show itself, starting with the Stolas side of things: 
Episode 1
Blitz, in the middle of trying to hide so much that he actually clamps both of his hands over his mouth just to muffle the sound of his own breathing, knowing damn well that this psychotic bitch who already shot him once won’t hesitate to do it again if she finds him.....gets a call from Stolas.  Stolas, who we clearly see from his leisurely hang out time in his bubble bath, is literally watching this happen and is fully aware that calling Blitz right then was potentially putting him in danger. But what does he say when he gets Blitz on the phone?  He offers--not help--but Blitz the use of his book in exchange for monthly sex.  Stolas literally uses Blitz’s peril as leverage here--consciously or not, though given the fact that he knows the situation at hand, I’d find it very hard to argue that he didn’t do this on purpose--just to get him to agree to be his bootycall until further notice.  
Stolas not only doesn’t lift a finger to help Blitz once in all of this--even at the moment where he and Millie are about to be shot in the face--but instead continues to stay on the phone talking about all of the things he wants for their upcoming future rendezvous.  He already got exactly what he wanted out of this and he still just continues to go for more for himself.
Episode 2
.....There are honestly so many fucked up things that happen here as far as Stolas and his relationship with Blitz goes but honestly the thing I want to draw the MOST attention to is actually Stolas’s storyline with his daughter, Octavia.  I know it’s a little left field, but bear with me--this is actually something I want to use as comparison for Stolas’s relationship to Blitz as we go along:
When Stolas first decides that he’s going to take his daughter to Loo Loo Land, he does so while completey setting aside the fact that she doesn’t want to go.  He just offers her assurances that it’s going to be so much fun because he remembers that she loved it so much when she was a little girl--effectively putting his memory above her wishes even as she’s sitting right there and telling him that she doesn’t enjoy the idea of going now.  
Stolas doesn’t actually notice just how uncomfortable he’s making Octavia throuhought their entire trip by spending his time sexually harassing paying more attention to Blitz than he is trying to cheer her up.  This tells me that Stolas--though I do believe he genuinely wanted to do something to make her happy--still wasn’t able to completely overcome his own self-centered tendencies at first even when it’s for her.  And this is the person that Stolas loves more than anyone or anything else in the entire world. It still wasn’t enough.
It’s only when Octavia runs off and completely breaks down that Stolas finally gets the much needed slap-to-the-face of reality to understand just what he’s putting his daughter through--and, for the first time in the entire show, he actually puts someone else’s needs and well being above himself.  It’s the one solid honest display of love that we see from Stolas in the entire show--and it’s how we as the audience come to learn that that’s how Stolas shows that he loves someone: When he puts their needs above his own with no strings attached or expectations of something in return.  A true selfless act just because he loves them.  **Keep in mind the parallel of Stolas carrying Octavia out of Loo Loo Land at the end, and how it compares to Stolas carrying Blitz out of D.H.O.R.K.S headquarters.
Episode 5
The. Fucking. Cigarette.  I had no idea that something so small and quick would be able to infuriate me as much as it did, but the fact that Blitz used the post sex cigarette to free Stolas from his wrist bondage but then Stolas turned around and put the cigarette out on Blitz’s horn which is literally a part of Blitz’s body just.....honestly it sums up exactly what I’m trying to get across in this entire huge ass post: Stolas only ever thinks of himself first and anything pertaining to anyone else just doesn’t cross his mind at all unless you blatantly put it there in front of his face.  And the fact that he’s still at this point with Blitz all the way here in Episode 5 is not.....promising for their relationship.
The fact that Stolas literally cannot stop himself from calling Blitz “Blitzy” or talking to him in such a condescending way no matter how frustrated Blitz gets and how many times he asks him to stop.  I just--how is that supposed to be interpreted as someone talking to a person that they love?  There’s no respect or dignity given to Blitz at all on Stolas’s part, and the fact that it seems to be presented as a “Oh teehee it’s just their cute couple thing” is just.....I really, really don’t like that.  It also doesn’t match with the Stolas in the very next episode which I quite frankly think is because the creators have been listening to the feedback from fans and were like “We need to SHOW THEM that Stolas actually does speak to Blitz respectfully!!” but that’s just my personal opinion there and, also, it still didn’t happen.  
Episode 6 
Keeping in mind that THIS is finally the episode where we see Stolas actually save Blitz from danger and demonstrate even the slightest inclination towards his well-being.....I think that honestly makes the next few things here even more fucked up
First and foremost: “WE”.  The second after Stolas asks if Blitz is alright and gets the assurance that he is, he roughly grabs his cheek and points out that “If you get in trouble, I get in trouble!  WE don’t want that”.  The fact that this is the first time that Stolas ever talks about Blitz in the context of “we”--when really what he’s really saying is that him [Stolas] getting in trouble is going to be a bad thing for all of them--is just.....so, so disappointing.  At least with this I could hope that perhaps the idea here is that Stolas is genuinely afraid that if he gets in trouble, he won’t be able to protect Blitz from the undoubtedly much worse trouble that he would be in as an imp, but still.  The fact that Stolas immediately reverts back to his self-centered perspective so quickly after supposedly being so worried about Blitz’s wellbeing, really makes it seem as though it’s just his own ass that he’s trying to protect.  And that.....isn’t  exactly what I’d been expecting from “the episode that confirms Stolitz is canon” feedback I’d been hearing.
"Am I going to get ANY thank you for the rescue Bltizy?”  This for me was kind of what actually lead to me having this whole epiphany over Stolas’s selfish perspective in the first place.  I realized that even here--even when he’s just been the most “romantic” towards Blitz that he’s ever been in any previous episodes up until now [and yes this shift in his character was incredibly jarring for me because of that]--Stolas still goes right back to thinking about what he’s going to get out of this now that he knows Blitz is safe.  Let’s take this back to that thing I was saying about Episode 2 and comparing how Stolas rescued Octavia and how he rescues Blitz.  Obviously they’re going to be different because it’s Stolas’s daughter vs his hook up BUT just think about where the focus is for Stolas in both of these scenes.  With Octavia, Stolas is entirely focused on making things up to her--taking her to do something she wants to do--even if it’s something that he himself doesn’t fully understand or isn’t fully into.  That doesn’t matter though, because the entire point is that he’s doing something just for her.  It doesn’t have to be about him.  But now go back to the scene where Stolas is carrying Blitz out of the room.  What does he do?  Ask what Blitz is going to do for him.  That just takes the idea that this scene was a confirmation of their love and throws it right out the window.  Stolas--as we’ve been shown before--would never ask for something in return from someone that he actually loves.  
Now let’s take a look at the one and only episode we have of Striker and Blitz interacting together, with an honorary shout out at hallucination!Striker’s appearance in Episode 6: 
Episode 5: 
Striker knows Blitz’s name.....and he uses it.  He’s literally the ONLY other character that we’ve seen so far refer to Blitz as “Blitz” instead of “Blitzo” or “Blitzy” by someone who wasn’t a member of I.M.P..  Aka someone who wasn’t a member of Blitz’s family.  He shows Blitz respect at that basest level, and only builds on that from there going forward.
Striker first recognizes Blitz for being “the bold imp that started his own killin’ biz”.  Not his hotness, not his skills in the Harvest Moon games because at that point he hasn’t seen them yet.....but for his accomplishment in starting up his own successful business down in Hell.  He treats it as an accomplishment.  With the kind of respect that comes with acknowledging another person for their accomplishments.  Right there, within two seconds of meeting him, Striker demonstrates more respect for Blitz than Stolas has yet to do in the entire show.
The Harvest Moon Festival Games.  Now this is something I find fascinating to think about from Striker’s perspective in particular.  We as the audience are shown pretty early on that Striker has a strong desire to be the one who comes out on top.  He likes the idea of being superior and he openly relishes in the praise and attention he gets for being better than everybody else.  ....Except Blitz.  When they tie in the games, Striker doesn’t seem bothered with sharing the spotlight with him at all.  If anything, he--again--respects just how skilled Blitz is in rightfully earning his place beside him on the stage.  That, to me, is HUGE.  I’m not going to go so far as to say that Striker necessarily sees them as equals because I think that might be going a bit too far for his ego but he does still fully acknowledge that Blitz is in the same general class as him: that is to say, better than most.  Worthy of the same kind of acknowledgement and praise that Striker gets.  I literally can’t get over just how big of a thing that is for what we’ve been shown of Striker’s character, and I think it’s unfortunately something that’s incredibly easy to miss or gloss over. :(
And now--for what I personally think is the most significant thing of all--we have: “We”.  How many times does Striker suggest during that final scene between them that he really wants Blitz to join forces with him as equals?  He never demands that Blitz join up with him, he doesn’t threaten him into joining up with him--Striker barely even hurts Blitz at all during their fight scene compared to how he tried to straight up murder Moxxie--and, most of all, Striker continues to acknowledge that Blitz deserves better than his current arrangement with Stolas.  And he’s right.  But instead of putting it as “I’M right and this is why you should do this”, he always puts his focus on Blitz himself, or the two of them together as a partnership:  “You are so above sucking on a a digusting rich pompous Goetia” | “We could be the most dangerous beings in Hell, Blitz” | “You could partner up with me and klll the unkillable--starting with the one that treats you like a plaything”.  It’s just--I honestly can’t believe it’s taken me this long to put together why Striker appeals so much more to me as a romantic interest for Blitz, but really breaking it down episode by episode and comparing the differences in wording between Striker and Stolas’s dialogue when it comes to Blitz is just.....holy shit. 
Honorary ShoutOut of Episode 6: 
The fact that the only thing hallucination Striker has to say to him is “But you don’t want to do things alone Blitzo!” is really, really interesting to me in the fact that he’s.....not......wrong??  Like, To be fair, Striker, RoboFizz, and Verosika all spill their harsh truths, but the thing is.....Striker’s is markedly different in that his wording really isn’t harsh or aggressive at all the way the other two are.  He’s just kinda stating a fact in an overexaggerated way because tripping balls hallucination sequence.  It’s very interesting to me that that’s the worst that Blitz can imagine him to say--as well as the fact that halluci!Striker calls him “Blitzo”, which is really weird considering that Striker’s never called him “Blitzo” once in the entire show.  Makes me kinda wonder where that came from tbh. 
Alright so, in conclusion of this very long and rambly styie post: I want to take things back to where I started by reiterating that this is not me trying to convince anyone that BlitzStrike is “right” and Stolitz is “wrong”, or that you should stop shipping what you’re shipping in the fandom.  This was just me honestly getting way more excited than I should’ve been over having my “Eureka!” moment for realizing why this new episode didn’t put me back on the Stolitz train like it did for so many other people--and why, in fact, it actually made me think even more favorably of the idea of Blitz and Striker being together.  
Thanks for sticking around with me for this very long read, I hope you found it interesting, and I really really hope that it didn’t piss anyone off or rub too many people the wrong way.  Like I said at the beginning, ship who you want to ship!!  That’s part of the fun of being in a fandom.  I’m just hoping that this might help make it easier to understand at least one perspective on why Stolitz is seen as being so problematic as a ship [as of where they are right now].  
Here’s to seeing where things go from here!! 
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ahsxual · 4 years
Text
Purple and Green Desire
Pairing: Ledger!Joker x Female!Reader
Summary: You wanted to make J a surprise by painting your hair half purple, half green, and provoke him to see what his reaction would be. Little did you know what would come for you...
Warnings: Rough and mad J, possessive and jealous J, J scaring the reader, reader with psychotic thoughts, sir kink, dom/sub, vaginal sex, hard spanking, oral sex (male and female), fingering, nipple play, some blood involved, swearing, degradation, a little bit of edging, mentions of anal sex
Genre: Smut
Word Count: 4,2 k
A/N: Sooo this was supposed to be posted on Halloween, but as always I'm late. I had this idea a while ago, and thought: "why not write a smut out of it?". I thought it would be a good idea to join your request and my ideas together, my lovely @mountainjiwish. Thank you so much for your incredible idea!! I wanted to write something like this for so long, but I thought I wouldn't be able to write such a rough J fic... but how do we know we're not good at something if we don’t try it? Anyway, I still hope you all enjoy it <33
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In the last few months, your life has changed drastically. You never thought you would be where you were right now, however you couldn't complain about it, not at all. How could you? You received what you had always wanted and desired for the longest time, something you had always idealized, waiting for your darkest kinks turn into reality with someone you trusted... and he, well, he could have his little toy only for himself, something he didn't know how tremendously he craved until he landed his hungry eyes on you.
If it was possible, your relationship would be seen as extremely toxic by others: you didn't have, or at least you never admitted out loud, the true feelings you had for each other. You just made your darkest wishes come true every time you were together, feeding the hunger that was growing inside your hearts and cores, and that only you could make that happen.
He could be compared to the biggest and most dangerous lion in the jungle, and you to a little masochist deer who would always be eager for the lion to come after you, and eat you in the most cruel way possible. But what was "funny" to you, was the fact that the lion would never let his deer escape from him without causing it some deep wounds... however, he would never kill the deer, wanting for it to come back to him so he could catch it and have some fun. That was the game you both enjoyed playing since day one.
Today was october 31st, your favorite day of the year. Why? It's simple: on this day, you felt like you could be yourself, without being judged or being too obvious that you also had psychopathic instincts. Of course you had your own dark thoughts. Of course you also had the cruel desire to rip someone's throat every time they messed with you or with someone you loved. But you didn't have enough courage to cause such bloody chaos, so instead you decided to be with someone who represented your inner self. Unlike you, J does not fear the consequences of his acts, or even feels guilty. But you do, so that's why it's so much funnier to watch the world burn by someone you love. That way you don't have to feel guilty about anything, because you didn't do anything by your own hands, right? You're not guilty for liking to see the blood coming out of people's mouth and eyes, while they scream in agony. You're not guilty for craving so much to watch the world be destroyed by the scalding fire before your sadic eyes, to love someone who would realize your wishes for you. But that didn't matter right now. What mattered is that you wanted to surprise J, to show him once agaim how a good and dedicated submissive you are for him.
You painted your hair half purple, half green, and put it in two ponytails, each one with a different color, while your makeup also had those gorgeous colors. You wanted to look sexy, yet cute and innocent for him, even if you were the bratiest woman he had ever met in his entire life. And believe me... he had met a lot of girls. Yet none of them were as good as you, and none of them would be loyal and stay with him for so long, even when he had been considered a monster before everyone's eyes... but not yours. He always saw you as his little bunny, his little doll, his little loyal masochist... and he surely planned to keep you for himself for a very long, long time. Your outfit was a little different and scandalous too: you dressed yourself in a fit leather dress you had recently bought, with the highest leather boots you had in your wardrobe, while wearing your sexiest black lace thong briefs and the choker with a diamond "J" on it that he gave you in the beginning of your "relationship". This item was utterly sacred. He always made you to wear it: everyday, at any second of the day, so you wouldn't forget to who you belong to. You then thought carefully if you should wear a bra or not, and decided it would be better if you didn't wear any at all, before putting a comfortable leather jacket on.
You checked yourself in the mirror and for what felt like an eternity, you felt stunning. Halloween never failed to make you feel more confident about yourself, neither the expensive clothes J "bought" you or the compliments he gaves after seeing you wearing them. You stared in the mirror a little while, until you realized that you had something that was excessive on your body: the "J" choker. You knew too well that he would be furious if he didn't see you wearing it... but after all, that's what you wanted, to see the ravenous lion being released from its cage. However, you didn't feel satisfied. Not yet. You were also planning something else to make him even more mad: what about, pretending you went to a party without his gift and permission, while using your favorite perfume in your most exuberant outfit, and then not giving him the attention he always craved from you? Deep down, you even feared he would kill you out of anger, because of your malicious and provocative plan... oh, you really didn't know who you were messing with. But thinking about it, what better way to die than to have sex with the person you were so immensely addicted to?
When you finished fixing your hair by making each ponytail look messy, you heard the door of your house being closed so hard that you genuinely believed he had broken it, which meant he was already mad. Perfect. You ran to your room and started to act normal, pretending to be packing your sex toys. But now that he was there, you felt yourself slightly shaking from pure fear and anticipation. You had a slight idea of what was coming, you just didn't know the gravity of it.
Suddenly your room's door was carefully opened, which wasn't a good sign. The calm before the storm. Maybe he felt your perfume from afar, and knowing that you would only use it for very special occasions, and that he wasn't there with you before, it only meant you did use it for something else. He could even be compared to a quiet dangerous dog, because of his keen sense of smell... and because of his unpredictable behavior. You could sense his stare burning into your back, but you acted like you had a durable shield against his fervent fire. You purposely positioned yourself in a way so that he had a good view of what you were doing: packing your sex toys that were forbidden to be used, unless J used them on you. Now, you could feel and smell the hot and suffocating flames of his fire getting way too intense. You then finished packing them under your bed, and stood up to take your jacket off, making sure he noticed you weren't wearing the choker he gave you.
"You don't look very joyful. Rough day?" you answered contemptuously, calmly taking your boots off in the process. From his point of view, you went somewhere else to do who knows what without his permission, and since you were too desesperate and lazy to undress yourself first, you masturbated with your clothes on. According to his perspective, you didn’t give a shit about his rules, like the obedient slut you should be to him.
Saying that his glare towards you was terrifying and caused shivers down your spine, was an absolute understatement. You instantly regreted making all of this up, but it was too late. Now, you would have to deal with the real consequences of your brat decisions. J slowly walked towards you, making you unconsciously step back until you met the rigid wall of your suddenly cold room. He was so close to you, making you feel his hot, yet deep and rhythmic breathing on your face, and without your leather boots, you felt once again intimidated by his much taller figure. He took this opportunity to analyze you better: your messy colored ponytails and makeup, that for a moment almost made him crack a smile because of your choices, your sexy outfit... to the absence of your necklace.
"Something is ah... missing on ya, dont'cha think, doll? Huh?" completely ignoring your question, he calmly, yet dangerously asked, making known the fact that he instantly noticed you weren't wearing his precious and meaningful accessory. His gloved hands slid to your naked neck and grabbed it forcefully, making you unable to respond him, because of the lacking of air in your throat and lungs. Once he realized you would literally pass out if he continued to choke you, he slightly let it go, just enough to make you receive some oxygen to your now extremely frightened brain.
"I don't k-know what you're talking about..." you really weren't one to give up easily. You wanted to see how your little game would end, even though you had just been almost choked to death. His pupils became so much darker once he realized what game you were playing.
"Ya don't... know?" he suddenly started laughing maniacally, the loudest and scariest sound you had ever heard in your entire life. You knew he had already discovered what your intentions were, however he still didn't know if the fact that you went out with someone else and played with yourself, was true. Yet you would keep him thinking about  that... What a strong and determined woman you were.
His laugh started to slow down and his not so happy expression returned to his scarred face. "Do I really need to ah... remind ya of the rules dollface, huh?" his voice was deeper and hoarse, and you could tell he was trying to contain his humiliating words towards you to himself... at least for now. He walked away from you to grabbed the box under your bed, keeping an intense eye contact with you, and put it above the bed. You were watching very attentively with each step he made, not having the courage to look away from him. He then grabbed each vibrator you had, and started to break them with his own hands. Since when did he have so much strength??
"J, what the hell?!" you screamed at him and the moment you took a step forward, he nimbly took a knife from his pocket and pointed it in your direction.
"Ata-tada!" he warned you with his fatal object in his left hand while giving you a sharp stare, making you return immediately to your initial position. "Dont'cha wanna make things harder for yourself. This is all your fault." he grabbed a broken piece of your favorite vibrator and threw it caressly to a random corner of your room. Much to your control, your eyes started to water instantly: you wanted to provoke him, not ending up having your dear toys broken. But that's what you get when you get on J's nerves... and this was nothing compared to what he wanted to do to you...
A single tear came out of your eye and you instantly looked way, ashamed for feeling so unnecessarily sad for having your sexual toys destroyed. You closed your eyes, and all you could only hear, was your own sobs and his heavy steps.
"Shh-Shh why are ya crying bunny? Ya knew this was ah... gonna happen the moment you messed with your owner, didn't ya?" you didn't answer to him. You were way too pissed to give him what he wanted, but once again... you made the wrong choice. "ANSWER ME!" you never felt so intimidated by anyone the way you did at that moment. You were now trembling with fear, and even if you didn't want to admit it, you were also trembling by lust, excitement and hunger for him. He suddenly harshly grabbed your cheeks and made you look up at him: your makeup was already ruined because of the mix of emotions that filled your slippery salty tears, and by his rough movements on your face.
"YES!!" you responded the loudest you could, but he didn't seem satisfied.
"Yes, what?!" he asked calmer while tightening his grip on your aching jaw, yet he was calm by far.
"Yes sir!!!" for the first time for what felt like hours, you saw a proud grin form on his scarred cheeks. You unconsciously smiled too, but that didn't last for too long since he caressly shoved you against the bed. If your bed wasn't so soft, you were sure you would have bruises or even broken your face. He then roughly pinned your hands together, and tied them tightly with some handcuffs he found in the box beside you both. He turned you on your back, and instantly placed a knife on your jaw. You didn't dare to move, because if you did... that scene would definitely turn into a bloody mess. He was so concentrated on your body, memorizing every detail of your soft skin into his psychotic mind, and without a warning, he cut your dress in half with his pointy knife, and this time, you didn't dare to complain.
"Hmm, no bra..?" he pretended to look surprised and looked like he didn't care about your decision, but his body language betrayed his mind since his excitement was way more noticeable. "Now tell me... how ah... naughty and filthy can ya be, huh?" he then grabbed your hips with such force that you knew for sure he would leave dark bruises there. You didn't know anymore if it was the fact that you were so distracted in leading your own emotions, or if it was due to you being completely consumed by pure desire, that you didn't prepare yourself from what was coming: you suddenly felt his sharpened knife being softly, yet firmly craved into your chest. You couldn't see it, but you did feel the fatal object drawing a "J" letter on your once soft chest. He wanted to mark you forever, so if a goddamn choker couldn't make that happen... a deep scar definitely will. Your screams were mistaken for loud moans, so he continued to do his work, blood running out of your body into the sheets, that were once white, into a dark, permanent red.
When he turned you around, you felt another hot and painful sensation, but this time on your butt cheek, so painful and hard it was, that you almost fell out of the bed, only to be abruptly grabbed by your ponytails to make you still.
"Where do ya think you're going, huh?" he pushed you to himself by each ponytail. A muffled sound of pleasure and pain came out involuntarily of your mouth, yet you couldn't care less.
"Please..." you pleaded, blinded by the absurd amount of pleasure that was running into your veins for him.
"Please what, huh? Tell me... Tell your sir want you ah... desire from him. And if ya behave like ah... good little slut for him, maybe he will reward ya." you opened your eyes that were previously tightly closed and looked deep into eyes, noticing that his eyes were now completely black, like he was possessed by the devil himself. You could feel his huge and solid bulge leaning against your now reddish ass since he pulled you so close to him, and you knew that everything was finally leading to where you wanted.
"I want more... please sir, I want you to destroy me..." the moment those words came out of your mouth, he totally lost it. Neither him or you could hold yourselves anymore. With your leather dress thrown into a corner, your ass was now exposed. He caressed your butt not so softly with his strong hands, admiring the gorgeous view for a few seconds. Oh, how he loved to see his doll with lace.
Your room was then filled with loud moans, deep groans from him, and even louder sounds of skin being roughly spanked. He knows your limits very well, so he stopped once he noticed you couldn't take it anymore: after all, the pain is beauty for him, but so is pleasure and trust from both sides. Your ass was now covered in shades of dark purple and red, a view that J never got tired of... in fact, it was his favorite.
"The purple really ah... suits ya, doll. So does the green and the red..." he whispered more to himself, getting lost in the beauty of the job you both did: the spanking session he just gave you, and the look you chose for yourself that had everything to do with him, as it proved your submission for him as well. While he was saying that, you were trying to catch your breath and collect yourself from what just happened. Your ass was hurting so bad, and you were sure you wouldn't be able to sit properly for weeks, but the pleasure that came from it... it made it all worth it. You were almost getting your breath back, almost, when you felt your ponytails getting pulled once again. He really liked the idea of the colored ponytails, you proudly thought for yourself.
"Ata-tada, ya weren't going ta sleep on me, now would ya? Oh sweet cheeks, we are just-getting-started..." you shaked your head, and before he could punish you again, you immediately remembered what you must do.
"No sir!! I won't upset you again... I-I promise I will be a good slut for you!" you obediently answered, fearing to be punished again. Your makeup must be already ruined because of your uncontrollable crying. Your cheeks were covered in a black mascara, and purple and green makeup that was very blurred because your previous position, so it was practically inevitable to rub your face against the bed. This was something that always made J's pants twist with randiness: the messier, the better.
After your response, you heard a satisfied groan from his throat: he had already forgotten the fact that he was extremely mad, only for that feeling be replaced and completely consumed by lust. He then approached your neck and sucked it roughly, leaving marks that would last for a very long time because of the force it was made, while grabbing your throat to make you still. It came to your mind the idea of him being a vampire who was immensely thirsty by your blood.
You gently rubbed your ass on his throbbing, hard cock: it hurted really bad, but it was the only movement you could do to caught his attention, since he was restraining almost all of your body movements.
"Someone is feeling really eager, huh? Ha! All it takes is ta teach ya some ah... manners, to get those panties all soaked for me..." after that, he ripped your lace briefs with his own hands, making you flinch, and then put two long gloved fingers in you. He was never a very patient man and he wasn’t going to be now, so he started to finger you as fast as he could, curling his skilled fingers into your g-spot from time to time. It felt like pure bless, and it was impossible for you to contain all of your sweet sounds. But even if you did, you knew you would be in real trouble for containing them: J loved to hear your moans and screams of pleasure and pain for him, so he had forbidden you to hide them from him. When you were about to cum, he turned you around and replaced his experienced fingers by his hot and wet tongue on your clit, sucking it hard.
" Oh God, J!!" you moaned as loud as you could, and if it weren't the cuffs holding you still, you would ride your orgasm while fucking his face. This was the first time he let you cum without edging you first. Looks like he's feeling generous. Yet neither of you would be satisfied with only one orgasm, especially you, and J knew it.
"God has nothing to do with your ah... pleasure, doll. I am the only one who makes ya cum like a fucking squirter whore, do ya hear me?" he grabbed your face hard enough to make it hurt, and then forced you to look at him while he slowly sucked his gloved fingers with your juices on it, right in front of your face, wanting to make a show for you. "Hmm, always so... tasty." he admitted with the sexiest tone you have ever heard from anyone. "But now... I've gotta prepare ya for da real deal." once he said that, he pushed three fingers into your mouth.
You could taste your own cum and his saliva mixed on his fingers, and you would be lying if you said it wasn't your favorite taste. You knew you had little time to adjust to his fingers, trying so hard to control yourself from gagging... and that was what was worrying you, since if you couldn't take his fingers... it would be ten times worse once you sucked his dick. He decided to take his fingers off of your wet mouth, since his cock was starting to get so tight in his pants, to the point of being painful. While he was unbuttoning his pants, you took the chance to breathe properly, yet that didn't last too long.
"Come here." he ordered while he grabbed your legs, and then pushed them out of the bed to make you kneel on the ground, before grabbing your freshly painted purple and green ponytails.
"Now open wide that pretty mouth of yours. Sir is gonna ah... feed his slut until she's full." with a smirk printed on his scarred white and red cheeks, he wasted no time in shoving his erected cock inside your already wet mouth. "Fuck! That mouth of yours never fails to get me all riled up, dollface!" he started laughing maniacally right after while thrusting faster and harder into your mouth. You could barely breathe, especially when he shoved all of his dick down on your throat, only to get it out for a few seconds before shoving it back inside, where it belongs. Your boobs (that were also covered in blood because his previous signature he made especifically for you), upper legs and even the floor were covered in saliva and some of his cum, and you couldn't wait for him to release all of his cum inside your mouth... you couldn't wait to make him proud of you.
You started to feel his movements getting sloppier, his groans and breath getting uncontrollably deeper, and his dick twitching in your throat. You could tell he was close, and the moment you felt your ponytails getting pulled closer to his pubic hair, you knew that was it.
"Fuck!" he loudly cursed before releasing all of his cum inside your mouth and down through your sore throat. His taste felt more salty than before, but you still managed to swallow it. It was too much cum for you to keep in your mouth, so some of it escaped from it into the ground. After looking at you silently, he caught your attention by his demanding tone towards you.
"What are ya waiting for, huh? Clean your mess. Now." his glare was fatal, and his hold on your hair started to become unbearable, so you didn't challenge him any further. You crouched down on the ground and started to lick the rest of his cum that fell out of your tiny mouth, yearning a satisfied groan from him after you were done.
"Good girl..." he praised, before helping you getting up from the rigid floor to kiss you passionately. You melted completely into the kiss, his tongue fighting for dominance and obviously winning, until you felt his sharp, yellow teeth bitting your lower lip, making it bleed. He sucked all of your blood like his life depended on it, and you couldn't help but feel wetter with each second. Seems like J wants to be a vampire for halloween this year.
When he got bored of it, he pushed you onto the bed, and lifted you legs around his neck once he was positioned on top of you. You could tell he was really hard again, until you felt him rubbing only the tip of his cock on your clit. He remained in that position for some time, creating the perfect amount of friction on your clit to make you squirm under him. It seemed strange, however it was something you learned from him that felt so incredibly good. He decided to suck your hard nipples meanwhile, which made you gasp because of the unexpected, yet very welcome act, and moan harder. When you were about to cum, he shoved himself inside your dripping cunt, this time having no mercy on you. His thrusts were fast, hard and pounded you so deeply, that you could swear you were seeing shiny stars all over your room.
"Oh fuck, right there sir, please let me cum!!!" you closed your eyes, only to be slapped in the face as a warning to keep them wide open.
"Ya wanna cum, huh? Do ya think you deserve it?" he asked, staring into your soul to see if you would dare lie to him. "Dirty sluts don't get to cum, and believe me when I say that I'm gonna fucking destroy ya." after that, he put both of his gloved hands around your neck, grabbing it with such force with the porpuse to punish you from your supposed desobedience. You could see the madness itself returning to his eyes, and before you weren't able to talk anymore by lack of air, you decided to expose the truth to him, before it was too late for you.
"I-I didn't go anywhere! I didn't f-fuck anyone and... a-and I didn't go to any p-party!" it was so difficult to talk, but at the same time, in the situation and position you were currently on, it made you cum so hard without even getting time to ask him for permission, yet he didn't care about it since he was now focused on what you said.
"What?" he looked so confused, and his eyes started to return to their original color, getting also softer in the process. He suddenly stopped fucking you, and in that moment you thanked to whoever was up there for letting you cum before he stopped.
"I-I just wanted to make you mad... I wanted this..." you admitted, ashamed for making yourself look silly and desperate in front of him. You couldn't tell if he was still mad and irritated, or relieved. Maybe all of them, because now he had the guarantee that you obeyed him and didn't fuck anyone else.
"Oh, doll... If ya want me to fuck ya this hard, all ya need to do his to ask nicely. But ya like to play games instead, dont'cha? I always knew how kinky you were. Then congratulations, ya got what ya wanted! Ya really pissed me off, but dont'cha think you're gonna get out of this that ah... easily..." he warned you. For some reason, he decided to look at your bedside table, only to discover where your very badly hidden J’s choker had landed. He grabbed the innocent object, that was also the responsible for the best sex of your life, while still being inside of you, and then put it back where it belongs: on your neck. After making sure his gift was well tightened around your neck, he took his dick out of your vagina and lined it up right with your tight ass hole.
Now this was going to be a long night...
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scmsdivinecultists · 3 years
Text
What your fave SCM god says about you
I read one psychology article and now I’m all knowing. Hope at least one of these points apply to you simps
If your favourite is Leon, you are one of the following:
Youngest child
Outcast or the “popular” kid
Daddy issues
Your childhood dream was either to be royalty or be rich
You hyperfixate to many things
You might say ur not charismatic but you’ve had at least more than 1 person you rejected a love confession to
“You’re wrong, I’m right, shut up.”
You don’t fall in love easily but once you do, you fall hard
You like smug bastards or you have a bondage fantasy
Your favourite voltage game is one of the following: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, Court of Darkness, Masquerade’s Kiss, or Kings of Paradise
You have fairy lights in your room filled with pictures or posters
You had a massive friend group but at least 5 people have left from then to now
You cling onto memories like they’re a lifeline
You have the latest phone or more than 3 leisure electronics
If your favourite is Scorpio:
You can’t be any taller than 5′6
You probably listen to bands and can’t go anywhere without your headphones
Really creative
Your favourite Shakespeare play was Hamlet or Macbeth
Have had or is going through an emo phase
Hates writing essays
Have 3 best friends max
You have definitely bought albums, posters, or merch of your faves
ur probably a weeb
you’ve broken a bone or you’re very knowledgeable in the medical field/how to harm the human body for some reason
dark humour is the best humour
Your friends are very concerned for you because of said humour
You like watching people play Monopoly bc of the chaos
into so many fandoms that you know the lore of your faves more than you know the material you learn at school
If your favourite is Teorus:
You are an only or youngest child
Spoiled
Daddy/Mommy issues
Abandonment issues
You feel like you fade into the background/don’t contribute much to the group
You feel like you are often forgotten
You’re close with your cousins
You probably have a pet
Taylor Swift or 1D for life
Have definitely threatened to kill or beat someone up despite you intimidating no one
You want to play an important role but you are so not the leader type
You like Ouran Host Club
You like the outdoors
You probably like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before
Your favourite disney princess is Rapunzel or Cinderella
If your favourite is Huedhaut:
You are definitely a romantic
You’re not an air sign (Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra)
You’re a moron or you make bad decisions and Hue is there to help balance that out
Chances are you read more fanfic than actual books
Your system is 70% caffeine
For some reason you have lots of random trivia
Have you considered therapy for your suppressed trauma?
Dungeons and Dragons fan
You’re really into alcohol or you despise it
Loyalty is the trait you admire most
You want to feel like a sassy and classy bitch but you gave up after 2 days
Your favourite ship trope is enemies to lovers or slow burn
A lot of pent up angst but you hide it 
you put other people > yourself bc you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did
Why do you have so many memes saved?
Why do you have reaction pictures for everything?
If your favourite is Dui:
You’re probably not into guys
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
Either you’re a precious sunshine child or you are the most fucked up human in your friend circle
You have a choking kink
You either take sides in fights or you’re the middle ground
You make lots of threats but no one is acc taking them seriously
You probably are a massive manipulator
You’re psychotic and have violent tendencies 
Your best friend lives far away from you/ you have an internet friend that gets you more than your IRL ones
You say honesty is the best policy but you lie the most
Everyone comes to you for advice but you think you’re the most mentally unstable
You have identity issues and u change ur mind all the time 
Whatever you were as a kid, you’re probably the opposite of that now
If your favourite is Ichthys:
You are attached to the characters with the most trauma
You must not be a clean freak or your room is equally as messy as Ikky’s
Oldest or middle child (either way u have siblings) 
Never got to go to an amusement park as a kid 
Want attention/didn't get enough attention as a kid
You want Ichthys’ parents to adopt u bc they are the family stability you crave
Unresolved trauma and definitely not mentally stable 
You liked dinosaurs as a kid
You had pet fish as a kid and they all died bc you overfed them
Using anything else to escape ur reality 
Cartoons > real life actors
Probably hate seafood or afraid of the sea (ironic as it is)
Nostalgia is your best friend
Hurt/Comfort is your favourite AO3 tag
You collect random shit or you have a memory box
You are the reason child leashes were invented
You got into real dangerous situations as a kid and you’re wondering how you lived through that
Your comfort characters all got it the worst or are dead
If your favourite is Zyglavis:
How are those high expectations treatin ya? 
You either want to get into medical, sciences, or law
When you were younger you got enrolled in extra classes (swimming, piano, ballet, etc)
Your parents encouraged creativity until you got older and they told you to choose a more “realistic” goal
Good grades = everything and you’ll pull all-nighters to finish tasks or assignments
Former gifted student 
The actual smart kid in class 
YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE ISSUES
80s are not good enough for you or your parents
Overachiever for any reason 
Sleep? What is sleep?
A dom or a brat
You have strict parents or you have had pretty loose rules growing up
You had a lot of friends in grade school and now you have like 4 friends
You are no longer human, you’re just a walking husk of stress
If your favourite is Krioff:
You want to fuck one of Krioff’s family members
You have siblings
A pyromaniac or deathly afraid of fire
Commitment issues
You watch or ur a sports fan
You own an iPhone 6
You’ve ate forbidden items or you’ve thought about it (the fish tank pebbles, erasers, glass, slime, etc)
Everyone thinks you’re the awkward kid but no you’re just shy
You actually like the ocean waves
Once people get to know you, they got a whole thing coming for them
You either suck at driving or can’t drive
A great listener but you don’t feel like you give good advice
Conflict is a no no for you
You definitely had a glow up
You’ve befriended the seniors growing up
You either don’t like kids or you love them
You have a sweet tooth and everyone questions how you are not diabetic with the amount of sweets you’ve consumed
If your favourite is Aigonorus:
You’re either an insomniac or a hypersomniac. Whichever one, you don’t know how much sleep is enough sleep
You’re probably a sub
Commitment or abandonment issues
Desperate for validation and appreciation
touch/love/attention starved
You have a stuffed animal collection or you still have those childhood stuffed animals
You love the idea of love but you are not ready to deal with breakups
You wish you didn’t care but you care too much
Your aesthetic is cutecore
Probably into maid cat boys
Studio Ghibli or Sanrio stan
Comfort > style anyday
You only own sneakers nothing else
If your favourite is Partheno:
You’re definitely not into just guys 
You’re a drama kid and you are here for the tea whether it involves you or not
you have the receipts for everything
You were the one kid that played “family” or “house” every recess
no one knows where you get all your cute shit but it serves
have been suspected of witchcraft or considered the dark arts
Stole makeup from your fam as a kid and played with it
HIDE THE TRAUMA. HIDE THE PAST.
You already have a senior quote picked out
You’re either really horny or you just want to cry over how much you love so and so
“Why do men-”
You really want to own that Partheno doll in that one CG
Your most used social media app is Instagram or Snapchat
Your favourite demon brother from Obey Me is most likely Asmodeus 
If your favourite is Tauxolouve:
Your favourite KBTBB guy is either Baba or Mamo
You’re into music or theatre
Your ideal date is to go to an opera or a museum
You say you like/dislike something but end up changing ur mind later or when you try it out
In your opinion, the music nowadays is just not it
You recently found a receipt from Walmart for something you bought 5 months ago
Anniversaries are important
When making decisions, you pick the worst possible one
Your most expensive clothing items are your shoes or jewelry
You wish you could attend a ball and marry into royalty, like Cinderella
You like the idea of soulmates or string of fate 
Obviously or secretly insecure/self deprecating but you’ll raise all hell if your loved ones talk shit abt themselves
You want your partner to propose first
You like the underrated characters or your favourite characters are unappreciated
If your favourite is Karno you are:
You have childhood trauma, some of you are just not aware of it
You’re the parent of the group
You enjoy ships that have a mom/dad dynamic
Either you’re banned from the kitchen or you’re the one banning people from the kitchen
You were threated with the slipper or you threaten with the slipper
As a kid, you enjoyed Dora or Ni Hao Kai Lan
Your favourite trope is the found family trope
Either you’re an example to your family or you keep getting compared to other kids
An angel around the family but a chaotic bastard with others
You’re probably into some really kinky shit
You like Dangonronpa
Spiritual or religious
Probably had an imaginary friend 
You decided you were gonna turn your life around after reading/watching something and went back to the hot mess you were in 3 days
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