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historyhermann · 1 year

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Booming LGBTQ Representation in Animation in 2021 [Part 2]

Continued from part 1

Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs, my History Hermann WordPress blog on Jan. 15, 2023, and Wayback Machine. This was the seventh article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on January 5, 2022.

Other streaming platforms, like Paramount+ had animated series with LGBTQ characters. For example, the Rugrats reboot, a gay single mother named Betty DeVille, voiced by openly queer actress Natalie Morales, is a character. More prominent, however, is Star Trek: Lower Decks, fulfilling on Mike McMahan’s commitment to explore the identity of Beckett Mariner, who is voiced by Tawny Newsome. In the episode “We’ll Always Have Tom Paris,” Mariner tells Tendi, “I’m always dating bad boys, bad girls, bad gender non-binary babes, ruthless alien masterminds, bad bynars,” with a reviewer saying that Mariner affirms that “she is essentially pansexual.” In another episode she reveals she spent time on a space station and notes one of the nature preserves they are going to is where she went on a date, not specifying whether the date was male or female. She also calls Boimler, her male friend and colleague, her “number one.” Andy Billups (voiced by Paul Scheer), the ship’s chief engineer, is implied to be asexual as he has no interest, in the episode “Where Pleasant Fountains Lie,”of sleeping with the male or the female guard, and he is not shown participating in any sex acts in the “Naked Time” simulator in the show’s following episode. Whether the series follows up on this in an expected third season is anyone’s guess. At the same time, Star Trek Prodigy, also on Paramount+ includes Zero, who is a Medusan, with Medusans as genderless aliens who use they/them pronouns.

Hulu and Peacock also featured LGBTQ characters. In March, the series creators of Solar Opposites, Justin Roiland and Mike McMahan confirmed that Korvo and Terry are a romantic couple in a committed relationship. Another Hulu series has two LGBTQ characters, one of whom is bisexual (Melissa Tartleton) and another which is gay (Gary Garoldson). Furthermore, in the a Pride-themed episode of the children’s animation, Madagascar: A Little Wild, an okapi named Odee Elliott appears, who is non-binary. Odee is voiced by Iris Menas who said the episode’s biggest takeway is “acceptance and love and celebration” while GLAAD’s director of entertainment media, Jeremy Blacklow, said the episode comes at a time that “LGBTQ inclusion in kids and family programming is rapidly growing,” and stated that DreamWorks Animation is partners with GLAAD to “ensure that all families are represented on-screen.”

A late comer is the Crunchyroll coming-of-age series High Guardian Spice, created by a trans man, Raye Rodriguez, who was a character designer for Shadi Petosky’s Danger & Eggs animated series. This series featured trans and lesbian characters, with one of the trans characters voiced by Rodriguez himself! The other character, Snapdragon “Snap”, was voiced by a trans woman, and is on the road to transitioning to being a trans woman by the end of the series. The lesbian characters included two cousins of Sage, one of the story’s protagonists. They are named Aloe and Anise, her wife. The person who voiced Anise is a lesbian actress and she voiced two other characters in the show, meaning that those characters could be arguably lesbian coded. Furthermore, Sage showed an attraction to Snap and her friend Rosemary, meaning that she is presumably a lesbian, and Rose may be as well. Thyme, one of the show’s other protagonists, shows an attraction to a mermaid in one episode, while her roommate Parsley is very close with her. At the same time, another voice actor is openly gay and a person who voices a character named “Slime Boy” is ambiguously queer.

At the same time, terrestrial broadcast networks had their share of LGBTQ characters. This included gay men Crispin Cienfuegos and Ham Tobin in The Great North, voiced by Julio Torres and Pauli Rust respectfully, an implied lesbian woman named Frankie (voiced by Naomi McDonald) in Cartoon Network’s Elliott from Earth, and a queer man named Jerry Smith. Craig of the Creek, another Cartoon Network animated series currently airing features non-binary, lesbian, gay, and agender characters. Nickelodeon’s Blue’s Clues & You! featured an alphabet song which featured multiple Pride flags, Jessie Juwono, a supervising director of the now-ended Big Hero 6: The Series, confirmed Globby and Felony Carl, as a gay couple, and storyboarder Sam King said, two days after the series finale of Disney’s DuckTales, that she would permit fans to “assume I think every character except, like, Lunaris, is LGBTQIA+ in some shape or another.” On the other hand, Nickelodeon’s still-airing The Loud House features lesbian, gay, and bisexual characters. Another series, Tuca & Bertie, the new season of which began airing on Adult Swim in June 2021, on Netflix for season 1, featured various LGBTQ characters as well. This included a bisexual Toucan named Tuca, and a female seagull, Kara, who is a former love interest of Tuca.

The ongoing Cartoon Network series, Victor and Valentino, features a character who is implied to be a lesbian: Xochi Jalapeno, voiced by Cristina Vee. As I wrote in November 2020, she has a clear romantic interest in another woman, Amabel, and her lesbianism is “heavily implied by her never showing romantic feelings for male characters and often blushing when she is around Amabel.” Sadly, in May of 2021, it was announced that The Venture Bros was ending. The series featured various LGBTQ characters such as the openly gay Colonel Horace Gentleman, a lesbian character named Virginia “Ginnie” Dunne, and a gay couple: The Alchemist and Shore Leave. Luckily, it was later announced the series would have a direct-to-video film continuation at some point.

Some shows aired on actual television channels and on broadcast networks. One such show was Final Space, with the show’s final season premiering on Adult Swim first, then later HBO Max and Netflix (for international broadcasts), from March 2021 to June 2021. The show’s cancellation was confirmed by show creator Olan Rogers. Final Space had previously aired on TBS. In December of 2020, I wrote that “if rumors are true, then the third season of Final Space will have LGBTQ characters” and that turned out to be be true! This was manifested in a humanoid alien by the name of Ash Graven voiced by Ashly Burch. She had previously voiced a bisexual woman in OK K.O.!: Let’s Be Heroes named Enid, a non-binary Gem woman in Steven Universe named Rutile Twins, a lesbian woman named Laney in The Loud House, and currently voices Molly McGee, a Thai-American protagonist of the series, The Ghost and Molly McGee.

In Final Space, however, Ash was shown to be a lesbian character in the eighth episode of the show’s final season, as she holds hands with a genderless being, Evra, voiced by a biracial queer actress, Jasmin Savoy Brown, and she had previously hated a man who had rejected her in a previous season. In a podcast about the episode, Rogers confirmed that Ash was lesbian and noted that his co-writer, David Sacks, pushed for an episode about Ash, while he had wanted to do another character. He also stated, at the time, that if the show were to have another season he would expand on the relationship between Ash and Evra. Sadly, he never got the chance to do this due to the show’s cancellation. The show also included recurring LGBTQ characters like Clarence Polkawitz (voiced by Conan O’Brien), a selfish man, as bisexual, and the gender-flipping possibly genderfluid Tribore Menendez (voiced by Rogers), while Rogers himself said that he would have pushed for Little Cato as a gay character in another season.

Other examples of shows airing on television and streaming platforms were Duncanville and HouseBroken, which aired on Hulu and FOX. Duncanville features a recurring genderfluid character named Mia Abarra (voiced by Rashida Jones), a kiss between one of the protagonists, Annie, and another woman, Sandra, and features background characters mentioning they are in gay relationships in several episodes in the show’s newest season. LGBTQ characters were throughout HouseBroken, whether a gay trans male cat named Chico, a bisexual mixed-breed terrier Diablo, and the owners of Tabitha, Stelios and Brett, as a same-sex couple. In November, in an episode of The Simpsons, a FOX series which has been running since 1989, Smithers was shown with a new boyfriend who was named Michael de Graaf.

More prominent is The Owl House, the first half of the second season which aired on the Disney Channel from June to August, then was added to Disney+ later. While it is aimed at pre-teens, the series is a “deep story with a simple premise” as one reviewer described it. A second season canonized the semi-canon feelings between a bisexual Afro-Dominican/Afro-Latina young woman named Luz Noceda (voiced by Sarah-Nicole Robles) and a lesbian young woman named Amity Blight, which fans dubbed “Lumity.” It also introduced a new non-binary character named Raine Whispers, voiced by Avi Roque, a non-binary actor, and confirmed that Eda Clawthorne (voiced by Wendie Malick) is queer because she had feelings for Raine, who she previously dated before breaking up, and previously noted she had ex-boyfriends. Furthermore, Mae Whitman, who voices Amity, came out as pansexual. The way forward for The Owl House beyond Season 3 is uncertain, as showrunner Dana Terrace stated in early October. Unlike previous Disney shows, which featured LGBTQ actors who generally did not voice LGBTQ characters, The Owl House features LGBTQ actors voicing LGBTQ characters, such as Mae Whitman. [6] Another currently airing Disney series, Big City Greens, featured two gay characters: Alexander and Terry.

Other Disney shows seemed to feature LGBTQ characters as well. In one episode of Amphibia there were two women who were coded based on the bisexual and pansexual flags, according to the show’s art director, named Jess and Ally. The latter was voiced by Latina comedian Melissa Villaseñor who is of Mexican descent. In another episode, a man was shown proposing to another man. As Jade King pointed out, there is a possibility of confirmed representation between two of the show’s protagonists, Anne Boonchuy and Marcy Wang, while there is “chemistry between Yunan and Olivia…teasing…a full relationship between the two.” There was even an episode which a song by Rebecca Sugar, creator of Steven Universe, was shown.

In two episodes of The Ghost and Molly McGee, a lesbian character named Ms. Roop, who is voiced by Jane Lynch, a lesbian woman, is shown. In the episode “Mazel Tov, Libby!”, she is slow-dancing with a woman and in the next episode she is shown to be a lesbian. The woman she dancing with is her wife, Pam. Samantha C. King, a director for the show, said that Roop is a “lesbian who always talks about her wife” and added that Pam and Roop aren’t the only LGBTQ characters, but that there will be “more significant rep later on.” Others have even argued that Molly McGee herself is bisexual, claiming that during a musical sequence in one episode, a bi flag-colored sticker can be seen on Molly’s motorcycle helmet, but this is only a unconfirmed theory. One of the show’s creators, Bob Roth, one of the show’s creators stated as much, urging fans to let the representation “unfold naturally.”

One indie animation put many of the series on streaming platforms and broadcast television to shame. Helluva Boss, at the head of the indie animation boom, continued to air on YouTube. Apart from the established LGBTQ characters like Blitzo (pansexual), Moxxie (bisexual), and Stolas (gay or bisexual), voiced by the openly gay Brandon Rogers, Richard Steven Horvitz, and Bryce Pinkham respectfully, the episode “The Harvest Moon Festival” introduced a trans female character named Sallie May (Millie’s sister), who is voiced by a trans woman, Morgana Ignis. Even two male-presenting characters, Blitzo and Stolas shared a kiss at the end of the episode “Truth Seekers.” The series can be described as having a tenor of morbid humor and being “unlike any other animated series, indie or mainstream, that has ever been created or has appeared on any platform,” unique in its own way. The series also featured, in the next-to-last episode of the show’s first season, Blitzo and Stolas going on a date together, although it did not work out for either of them, as Stolas can’t spell out why exactly he loves Blitzo, with both leaving each other behind. This series is prominent in the indie animation scene and one of the few queer female-led series, unlike other series which have wonderful representation but are not headed by queer people.

Otherwise, My Life is Worth Living, a series which is meant to use “relatable teen stories to teach suicide prevention strategies.” It includes stories which cover “LGBTQ+ issues, substance abuse, sexual abuse, and physical injury” and has aired on YouTube since September 2021. LGBTQ characters include Scott, a public speaker revealed to be gay in Dante’s Story and Dante, a high school football player who has struggled to come out. On October 11, the newest episode of Nico Colaleo’s series, Ollie & Scoops, premiered on YouTube. In the episode before that, which aired on October 22 of 2020, it centered on the history of a teacher, Binnie, who is “anxious and nervous to tell another teacher, Wendy, that she likes her,” with Colaleo promising that there will more of both characters in future episodes.

Many anime led the way when it came to representation. For instance, the original net animation, Assault Lily Bouquet: Fruits, based on Assault Lily Bouquet, had homoerotic focus, while the ongoing series My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! featured a bisexual harem of men and women who pin after the protagonist, Catarina Claus. In 2021 five series with LGBTQ characters began. High-Rise Invasion featured two protagonists who begin as a friends but become romantically involved with one another, while Otherside Picnic centered on two women who have feelings for each other. In the latter case, however, their feelings are only implied as they never kiss or even directly say they love each other, leading some critics to say that they can’t think of the show as anything more than “just another generic supernatural anime.”

Trans characters appeared in So I’m A Spider, So What? and Wonder Egg Priority. A non-binary character appeared in the series, Blue Period, who is misgendered and mocked by her classmates, and yuri content was present in both Sailor Moon Eternal movies, with two lesbian characters having a role: Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus. The series Komi Can’t Communicate includes a character with an ambiguous gender and another character, a woman, who is infatuated with the series protagonist. Some reviewers pointed to yuri coding in other series, like Vlad Love, Blue Reflection Ray, Kiniro Mosaic, Vivy, YuYuYu, Zombieland Saga: Revenge, and Battle Athletes, while noting the final season of Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon S, calling the latter the “one of the most ridiculous and entertaining yuri-ish anime…in some time.” There are also implied yuri tensions between the protagonists of The Aquatope on White Sand with one reviewer for Anime News Network saying that they are considering the series “to be a yuri series” and calling it “yuri-coded right from the start,” while another saying they are setting their “yuri expectations…fairly low” for the show, but are still planning on watching it anyway.

January of this year will see the premiere of the new season of Princess Connect! Re:Dive, along with Luminous Witches and Love Live Superstar!, all of which may have yuri subtext. In early February 2022, The Legend of Vox Machina, an adult animated fantasy series based on a Critical Role campaign, will begin airing on Amazon Prime. It will include two bisexual siblings (Vex’ahlia “Vex” de Rolo and Vax’ildan “Vax” Vessar), and two queer characters (Keyleth of the Air Ashari and Scanlan Shorthalt).

There are a number of animated series with LGBTQ representation that are either scheduled to air or presumed to air in 2022. This includes the reboot series The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder, which will have an interracial gay couple (Barry and Randall Leibowitz-Jenkins), part 4 of Disenchantment, and the fourth season of The Dragon Prince. The latter show has featured supporting characters who are gay, non-binary, and lesbian. Arcane may also be coming back for another season sometime in 2022, although the exact date is not currently known, as will, presumably, Volume 9 of RWBY.

It is also expected that Dead End: Paranormal Park, previously named DeadEndia, will premiere sometime this year as well, after it was pushed back from its original premiere of October of 2021. Dead End: Paranormal Park, when it premieres, will break barriers with a trans male protagonist, Barney, with series creator Hamish Steele hoping it would get “more trans creators getting their chance to tell their stories” while hinting at other LGBTQ characters in the show apart from Barney. Steele also, in a thread on Twitter, described overt trans representation as important to him for a number of reasons, but due to the show being a UK production since UK broadcasters had rejected his previous trans storylines, and hoped that the series can be “one production taking a clear stand against the normalisation of transphobia in this country [the UK],” with the series having, in his words, “multiple trans cast and crew.” Hopefully the series will continue to increase positive queer representation in kids animation.

There are indie animations in development which will likely begin or continue this year. This may include new episodes of Nico Colaleo’s series, Ollie & Scoops, the premiere of S.A.L.E.M.: The Secret Archive of Legends, Enchantments, and Monsters, [7] and a new season of Hazbin Hotel on A24. Colaleo has already stated this, saying there would be “much more” Ollie & Scoops, while Hazbin fans were annoyed at much of the pilot cast not returning in the animated series which seems all but guaranteed to premiere this year.

HBO Max’s Lumberjanes, an animated adaption of the comic of the same name which ended in December 2020, will likely not air this year, but it is possible the litany of indie animations will air. This will not include Rain: The Animated Series as it was cancelled in September 2021 before the series premiere in a re-upload of one the show’s animations for unspecified reasons. The creators of the indie series, The Descendants, said they will pitch their series this year, with the show creator declaring that people need to create their dreams.

However, there are indie series moving forward, with no sign of cancellation. Indigo, with its development presumed after a previous cancellation, Wild Card, which has an openly bisexual protagonist, Jack, based on the show’s bisexual creator, Alex Bahrawy and Sheepish, with a non-binary protagonist, are only a few of many indie series with LGBTQ protagonists which are currently in development. [8] Wild Card seems to be moving closer and closer toward premiering the pilot, at least, as does Far Fetched Show.

I hope that Mika A. Epstein of LezWatch.TV is right in arguing that in terms of representation, this year, “things will get better” and fandoms will develop as ways to express the love people have “for a story or a movie of a TV show,” with shows which take risks, are daring, an tell diverse stories of various types.

Notes

[1] This was also clear in GLAAD’s 2020-2021 “Where We Are on TV” report (counting characters which premiered on primetime cable TV from June 2020 to May 2021) which noted characters in BoJack Horseman (since cancelled), The Owl House (p. 15, 40), Carmen Sandiego (p. 19), Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (p. 19, 40), Steven Universe Future (p. 40), DuckTales (p. 40), She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (p. 40), Harley Quinn (p. 42), Young Justice (p. 42). Let’s not forget that as Mike A. Epstein of LezWatch.TV pointed out, “while GLAAD does look into some international shows, it’s very skewed American.”

[2] 2021 was the fourth year of the awards show. In 2020, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power won for the “Outstanding Animated Series” category (the runner-up was BoJack Horseman and other nominees were: The Owl House, Steven Universe Future, Harley Quinn, and Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts). Also She-Ra was nominated for the “Best TV Episode With LGBTQ+ Themes” category, for the episode “Heart Part 2” while Adora and Catra in the same show won the “Fan Favorite Couple” award. In 2019, Steven Universe‘s episode “Reunited” was nominated for “Outstanding Individual Episode with LGBTQ+ Themes” and She-Ra won “Outstanding Animated Series” category (runner-up was Steven Universe and other nominees were: Love, Death & Robots, Bojack Horseman, Adventure Time, and Tuca & Bertie). In 2018, Rebecca Sugar, the showrunner of Steven Universe, was a runner-up for the “Outstanding LGBTQ+ Director / Producer / Showrunner” category, Steven Universe was one of the nominees for the “Most Groundbreaking Representation” category, and Steven Universe won the “Outstanding Animated Series” category (runner up was Adventure Time and other nominees were: Danger & Eggs and Loud House).

[3] Apart from these series, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Recorded by Arizal (implied that future story could have LGBTQ characters), and Onyx Equinox (with bisexual characters) ended in 2020. The hinted Astur’s Rebellion series by Sara Eissa was posed in 2020, but likely will not return. Additionally, the third “season” (as Peacock called it) of Cleopatra in Space, as I wrote about in December 2020, aired on Peacock on January 24, but had no more rep than the two moms of Akila which appeared in “School Break” which aired in November 2020.

[4] The other series are produced by a smattering of companies like Shadow Machine (Final Space; Tuca & Bertie), SpindleHorse Toons (Helluva Boss), Liden Films and Felix Film (Otherside Picnic), TNK (Redo of Healer), Millepensee (So I’m a Spider, So What?), The ULULU Company and Rough Draft Studios (Disenchantment), Zero-G, Inc. (High-Rise Invasion), Skybound Entertainment (Invincible), Asahi Broadcasting Corporation (My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!), P.A. Works (Aquatope on the White Sand), and Titmouse (Star Trek: Lower Decks).

[5] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIjX9rGvUmk, at 41:40-44:24). A few months later, an animator for the show said that they were “given explicit directions” to make Le Chevre and El Topo, in their scenes together, “romantic and intimate.” (https://scepterno.tumblr.com/post/642230247631323136/wait-i-can-finally-talk-about-how-i-was-given). This confirmed what GLAAD said in their report: “…Netflix includes queer characters in the animated series Carmen Sandiego” (p. 19)

[6] Other LGBTQ actors who did not voice LGBTQ characters include Matt Lucas as Benny in Romeo and Juliet, Rosie O’Donnell as Terk in Tarzan, Joshua Rush as Bunga in Timon & Pumbaa, Jane Lynch as Sergeant Calhoun in Wreck-It Ralph, Harvey Guillén as Funny in Mickey Mouse Funhouse, Auliʻi Cravalho as Moana in Moana, David Hyde Pierce as Francis in A Bug’s Life, Raven-Symoné as Monique in Kim Possible, Jack Dylan Grazer as Alberto in Luca, Sara Ramirez as Queen Miranda in Sofia the First, Graham Norton as Moonwind in Soul, Miley Cyrus as Penny in Bolt, Billy Eichner as Timon in The Lion King (2019 remake), Nathan Lane as Timon in The Lion King, Ellen DeGeneres as Dory in Finding Dory, Jonathan Groff as Kristoff in the Frozen films, Patti Harrison as Chief of Tail in Raya and the Last Dragon, Sean Hayes as Terri Perry in Monsters University, Alyson Stoner as Isabella in Phineas & Ferb, and David Ogden Stiers and Ian McKellen as Cogsworth.

[7] In this series, Salem, protagonist, is non-binary and pan, while Oliver is gay, and Petra is asexual.

[8] Others include Dirt: The Series, Romancing Roslyn Cherry, Howdy Cloudboy, Gadzooks and the Cryptoid Kids (a series by two gay men with LGBTQ themes), Roads to Rome, Succubus Cop, Starmakers, Cabiria Intermezzo, and Long Way From Del’Arte.

#lgbtq #kisses #star trek lower decks #indie animation #hbo max #lumberjanes #ollie & scoops #hazbin hotel #wild card #indigo #youtube #paramount plus

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zaftikat · 2 years

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TTRPG Review - Horse Girl

I’ll start with the TL;DR so that we can get to the meat of this review. Horse Girl is a body horror game using the Wretched and Alone system to tell the story of a woman who undergoes surgical transformation at the behest of an abusive lover. This game is horrifying, fascinating, and deeply beautiful. It is a game about loneliness, pain, and the fucked up things we’ll consent to in order to belong and be loved. I strongly recommend taking the content warnings in this game seriously.

If you run in the same circles I do, you’ve seen people’s excitement for the latest Cronenberg film, Crimes of the Future. Marked by the archetypical sexualized body horror of the rest of his oeuvre, it delivers on its premise as a challenging if not a well constructed film. The preponderance of terminally online pervs—many of whom are trans, one of whom is me—gained a renewed interest in the genre as a whole while we watched Vigo Mortensen get his livussy eaten out by Léa Seydoux. Below that spectacle is a series of questions that peal metaphor for the current anti-trans hysteria. One could easily write an entire essay on the inventive ways Cronenberg typifies the trans experience of creating beauty with bodies that are seen as monstrous to those with structural power. The film posits that we are transgressive works of art created by the personalization of our bodies, with parallels drawn between the final scene of the film and the first dose of HRT. In essence, it this movie fuckin slaps, but I’m also not here to talk about it for more than a paragraph or so, and mostly as a way to introduce my fascination with body horror as a genre. Basically, it’s context for what I’m actually here to discuss: Horse Girl by Samuel Mui (babblegumsam.itch.io/horse-girl).

Mui pointedly asks us to consider how much our body is who we are and how far we will go to achieve a sense of belonging. The pages of the journal your character writes as she is transformed through surgical modification posit a sort of horrifying Cartesian dualism: you are asked to record the ways in which her mind copes with what her body becomes and on your naked body, record the ways in which hers is irreparably changed. You are confronted head on with the abuse she suffers at the hands of the man she loves as you pull new cards from the deck, and blocks from the tower. Horse Girl has technical win conditions, but they are exceedingly unlikely, and still leave your character physically and mentally changed by her experiences. The far more likely outcome, as is typical for Wretched and Alone, is a block tower collapse. On collapse, your character must, in a mixture of resignation and acceptance, give herself over fully to the transformation.

The game beings by introducing our dramatis personae. Our role is that of a woman in her late twenties. We are told that life has not been kind to us, we are lost and hurting, alone and unwanted. Our antagonist is a young doctor who saw us at our most vulnerable and chose us for his systematic abuses. He draws us away from friends and family, from community and comfort until our world is only him. This is a standard abuse tactic used to exert control over a victim, but we are beyond that point at the start of our journey. We have accepted his offer to live in his mansion and we have accepted the condition that we will be surgically and mentally transformed into a horse. It is “…a small price to pay for a lifetime of peace and happiness.” We are promised love and caring for the price of our humanity.

When immersed in the game proper, we are asked to justify emotional and physical abuse in addition to the grotesqueries of her transformation. Her lover is quick to anger and retaliate, she must make it up to him. He threatens those she still loves in the world outside, so we must prove her devotion to him. All of this is said to be measures of his love. These actions and reactions are represented by the hearts and diamonds suits in the deck of cards. These are the good suits, if there is such a thing in Horse Girl. The clubs are memories of her life before and the hardships she faced as trauma compounded on trauma. This suit concludes that she is unlovable apart from him because she is fundamentally broken. Some broken things can be mended, or rebuilt into something new. With the spades we get the latter. The spades represent her transformation; where what was a relatively mundane—such as they can be—case of abuse becomes horror. Mui makes us consider the surgeries and hypnotic conditioning as parallels to the standard ways abuse manifests. As our character is wracked by the transformation process, we are challenged to think about the real world physical changes brought on by prolonged abuse; the way our mind and body react to certain kinds of touch, or manipulation by someone we love. Then we are told to justify it. The headspace of an ongoing abuse victim is never made more clear than in this game’s execution. All of these transformations are ostensibly consented to, something that rings true for many abuse victims. We agree to things that harm us because we’re made to feel as though there is nothing else. Exploring that pain is the intention of this game, and it is an incredible vehicle to do so.

Now, by this point you’re wondering, “Kat, why the fuck did you talk about Crimes of the Future at the start of this review?” One, because that movie is rad and I wanted to, but two, because there’s an important connection to be made between the two, and body horror as a sub-genre. Body horror’s quintessence is a question of control. Horse Girl is primarily about the ways control is exerted in abusive relationships. That control is manifested through the literal transformation of the woman’s body. The gender roles in this game carry the weight of powerful intention that speaks to a larger point about the ways in which women’s bodies are controlled and manipulated by systems that assert their worthlessness without such transformations. Our character is told a great joy in her life is foaling (though the Lamarckian inheritance in this prompt does lose me a bit given the more firm grounding of the rest of the transformation). If the raw intention of control is depersonalization of the controlled as objects for their controller, there is no greater method of exerting that control than the irreparable changes of pregnancy. So too does this hold for the more subtle manipulations like standards of beauty. In effect, the normalcy sought by the state in Crimes of the Future is no different from the transformation undergone in Horse Girl. Rejecting that control brings the full weight of compulsion to bear whether through systemic or personal violence. Therein is the fundamental metaphor of body horror, transness. The lack of control felt when your body begins to betray you at the onset of puberty is the same horror as being surgically transformed into a horse. Wresting control back and changing yourself to be who you choose is the freedom that Saul Tenser embraces and the freedom transition grants.

Ultimately this was supposed to be a game review, but I think it ended up being more of a personal essay? My review of Horse Girl exists somewhere in the text. Probably. ★★★★★★

#tw abuse #tw body horror #tw dubcon #indie ttrpg #ttrpg #ttrpg review #personal essay

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bonecraft · 6 years

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whenever the lovers card in tarot decks features lgbt+ shit and/or polyamory it just makes me so fucking happy and typically makes me tear up some.

#looking through the tarot of the silicon dawn reminded me because not only does the lovers card have lesbians- it has polyamorous lesbians #and i love it so fucking much. god???#it's also not the only card in the deck where there're lesbians and polyamory.#+ i love... that this deck was also created by a trans woman? who also is polyamorous i think? and just.#everything about this deck! is good!#there's so much representation of all kinds and it feels so natural and i Love it

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mariacallous · 2 years

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(JTA) — Abby Stein remembers two things well about her first-ever editorial photo shoot after coming out as an ex-Orthodox trans woman.

The first was that the shoot, in her bedroom for Vogue magazine in 2018, was the first time Stein had posed in a bra, and she wasn’t totally comfortable with the experience.

The second was that someone asked her who her dream photographer would be.

The name that popped into her mind was “one that I knew was never going to happen,” she recalled last week — Annie Leibovitz.

“She’s definitely done a lot of work to elevate LGBTQ voices and portraits,” Stein told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency last week about why she was drawn to Leibovitz, the award-winning portraitist. “And she is obviously Jewish.”

Four years later, that dream has come true: Leibovitz has photographed Stein in a setting that couldn’t be more different from her New York City apartment — on the deck of a cruise liner.

Stein, an activist for LGBTQ+ inclusion in Jewish communities and beyond, is one of dozens of subjects of photographs in a new library created by Celebrity Cruises to showcase the diversity of people who love to travel. The images — which also include #MeToo movement founder Tarana Burke, disability activist and model Jillian Mercado, and the Jewish director with alopecia Rachel Fleit, among others — will be made available for anyone to use, in an effort to change the public face of the cruise industry.

“What Annie, indeed all of the artists involved in this project have captured so beautifully, is that for vacations to really live up to the marketing moniker ‘all-inclusive,’ then they should start by using images that are inclusive of all, not just a few,” Celebrity Cruises President and CEO Lisa Lutoff-Perlo said in a statement.

“I am keenly aware of the privilege to be asked to participate,” Stein wrote on Twitter. “I don’t think this is about me — this is about representation in the LGBTQ, and especially trans, community. It’s about bodies that are different than the mainstream ‘cis-straight-normative’ expectations.”

Stein was careful to note that though she did post about her experience on social media, promoting the company was not part of her contract for the photoshoot. But she said knowing that the CEO of Celebrity was the first woman to lead a Royal Caribbean Group cruise line brand and that the company was the first to have a woman captain a “mega” cruise ship gave her confidence that the company’s inclusion efforts were genuine.

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joezworld · 3 years

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📂

What in the HECK happened with Scotsman, Dominion, and Dwight during the Great Gathering?!

(Also, since Dutchess of Hamilton has also been to the US during the 1939 NY World’s Fair, did she get involved?)

Warning - extremely long post below

So, first of all, Duchess of Hamilton never went back to the UK.

Duchess of Hamilton (6229) and Coronation (6220) had their nameplates swapped by the LMS when an engine was sent over to the US. 6229, in the guise of 6220, went to the US.

Streamlined locomotives were all the rage at the time, and railroads practically fell over themselves to get Coronation (as she was now known) onto press trains. The B&O railroad in particular was so impressed with her capabilities that they extended a formal offer of employment to her for service on their streamlined Royal Blue service. The LMS were surprised to get an offer to "purchase" their locomotive, but accepted nonetheless, as it meant a welcome infusion of cash in the dark days during the beginning of WWII.

Coronation fit right in with the Americans, having only been about a year old when she was sent to New York. Following the end of steam traction on the Royal Blue in the late 40s, (the B&O were early adopters of diesels.) she and her B&O coworkers found good employment on the New York Central, where she still runs to this day.

Since then, she's fully "gone native", marrying a J3 Hudson, (yes one of the streamlined ones) adopting both an American accent and three children, and being fully repainted to NYC silver by 1956. Flying Scotsman met her in Albany in 1970, and neither one of them recognized the other.

Actually, most UK expats don't recognize her, to the point where a common interaction is for her to be held up as an example of "look at her, she's integrated well into the US", only for the British engines to say "that's preposterous, she isn't English".

When it's pointed out that she's still obviously an LMS Coronation, the next response is usually screaming.

All that being said, she has no interest to come back to the United Kingdom, and wasn’t asked by the NRM anyways.

---------------

Second of all, the Great Gathering was... an event.

So, there are (officially) 6 preserved Gresley A4s.

Mallard - static, National Railway Museum (UK). Also an asshole.

Bittern - running, private owner, UK based

Sir Nigel Gresley - running, owned by a trust, UK based

Union of South Africa - running, private owner, UK based

Dwight D. Eisenhower - static (officially), National Railway Museum (USA)

Dominion of Canada - static (officially), Exporail (Montréal)

This is the official list, and for the first 4 engines, it's the truth.

However, things are a bit hazier on the other side of the Atlantic...

-----

So the thing that needs to be made clear right up front that in a sentient vehicle world, museums aren't like the NRM, where locomotives sit static for years on end, although obviously the English have museums like that because of course they do.

Rail museums in the rest of the world are much more like Colonial Williamsburg - a living history center staffed by volunteers who act out a prototypical setting from [insert decade here].

British Rail, being British Rail, didn’t know that and didn’t care.

4496, Dwight D. Eisenhower, having been named after the General-turned-President, had been earmarked for preservation by BR, and was summarily shipped off to the US National Railway Museum in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

In an entirely unintentional move, this donation MONUMENTALLY snubbed the Smithsonian, who refused to have any dealings with BR for decades, even for archival purposes. This, combined with the fallout from Operation Smash Hit, and the fact that the Smithsonian is Petty AF, meant that there was virtually no official trans-Atlantic cooperation between British and US museums for decades.

Dwight hit the shores of the US in 1964 New York City and was greeted by a marching band, a ticker-tape parade, and Presidents Johnson and Eisenhower, who were on-hand to personally make the engine a US citizen.

Always keen to curry favor with the government, the Southern Pacific railroad had a job offer waiting for Dwight right alongside the Presidents and the parade, and when he accepted, he went off to Sunny Southern California - someplace so opposed to Britain the he fell in love with the place immediately and refused to leave!

The ladies may have also had something to do with it as well - while most engine classes fell into a typical 50-50 gender distribution, the SP GS-4 class was all female...

[Pictured above - one of 28 very good reasons to live in California if you're a single British steam engine.]

Dwight does not kiss and tell, but at his wedding in 1974, all 28 GS-4s showed up - and he was only marrying one of them!

Since the 70's, he's become a mainstay in California, having been repainted into Daylight Limited colors in 1969, and retiring from railroad duties in 1999. After that, he went into the movie business, and is currently the head of digital media development at Disney.

His wife Irene (SP 4437) is also an interesting figure as well - following in the wheelmarks of the great female locomotives before her, she had an eye for business and a Stanford education before she married her husband, and was an initial investor in multiple tech companies in Silicon Valley during the 70's and 80's, but stopped doing that after her investment in Apple proved very lucrative. In 1996, she was convinced by a few people in the Stanford Alumni association to invest in another tech startup, this one an "internet search engine" called Google.

So yeah, Dwight Eisenhower kept falling up and up and up all his life, and is now married to the richest woman in the world.

4489 Dominion of Canada was donated mostly by accident, having been forgotten in the back of Darlington sheds until 1966, when she was shipped off to the Canadian Railway Historical Society in Montreal.

As stated elsewhere, the Canadian Government considered any locomotive built in the UK to have UK citizenship, and therefore treated them as commonwealth citizens under existing Canadian law. (remember that Canada was still a colony at that time)

CN, the national rail carrier, was obligated to offer her a job under their charter, and she accepted, moving to Toronto to run intercity trains between Toronto, Montreal, and Ottawa.

Within two years she was displaced from those duties by the introduction of a new, shiny, jet turbine powered train, and was summarily demoted to local commuter runs in the Toronto suburbs.

Moving to suburbia did one thing more than anything else - expose her to the people who live there. They all had complaints, they all had problems, and they all had no idea on how to fix them.

Being a helpful sort, Dominion decided that she could help, and promptly ran for Toronto city council in 1974. She won, and has been a fixture in local Toronto politics ever since - she even got to be Chairwoman of Metro Toronto (the closest thing to being mayor because Toronto's governmental structure is weird) until 1998, when Toronto was merged with the surrounding area to create a massive new region.

Having then done everything there is to do in municipal Toronto government, Dominion went on to become the Chief Executive Officer of Metrolinx, the agency that controls almost all of the transit agencies in Ontario, because, as she puts it, "I'm still a commuter engine at heart".

She's now painted in the current GO Transit paint scheme, and still does commuter runs- which is really weird looking now that there are double deck commuter coaches in a push-pull configuration, with a Gresley A4 doing the pushing.

------

Now, I mentioned that those 6 were the only ones officially preserved - there were two unofficial preservations as well...

4486 Merlin was properly Shanghied - he was yanked off the docks in Southhampton by a cargo ship in August of 1965, and was spirited away to parts unknown.

Those unknown parts turned out to be South Korea. There, he was given citizenship by the US-aligned military dictatorship (Korean history is wild) and was employed by the State-run rail operator.

As the military government began a hardcore plan to increase their country's wealth and industrial output, rail lines were being built across the country, and Merlin was soon awarded a position on the fastest train in the network, the Seoul-Busan Saemaeul-ho.

Because of his experience in running high-speed express trains, Merlin not only became the public face of Korean high-speed rail, but also became an "honored elder" amongst the other Korean engines, a position he still holds to this day - as despite being over 70 years old, he still runs daily trains on the fast services, easily keeping time with the Korean schedules as well as training the new high speed trains, including the KTX sets. He's on his 24th boiler by now, and has more parts from Hyundai than Doncaster.

An additional fact - Merlin actually has had a linguistic effect on Korean railroading, as his strange amalgamation of an accent - a strong Yorkshire accent that tried to be Received Pronunciation for 30 years, mixed with almost 50 years of middle-to-upper-class Korean - has filtered down through the ranks of KoRail, because all of his students want to sound like him out of respect. Human British expats in Korea will occasionally hear a locomotive speaking in English, and the engine will sound like a Yorkshireman every time and the Brits cannot handle it.

---------

4495 Golden Fleece is the only A4 to preserve himself - he saw the writing on the wall in the early 60s, and hopped a car ferry to France at the end of 1962. From there, he bounced around Europe for a bit before making it to the United States in the late 70's.

Of the 8 surviving A4s, he's probably led the quietest life of all - he moved to Miami before it got nice, and basically got in on the ground floor of CSX when that merger happened in 1980. He's now the head of terminal operations for the Port of Miami, but he's generally kept a low profile - not even having a chance to meet Scotsman due to his time in Europe.

He's still in contact with Dwight and Dominion, and has no real bitterness over not being "famous" like they are - he likes the quiet, and still lives in a modest house in Boynton Beach with his long-term girlfriend.

----------------------

Soooo... the Great Gathering.

It was supposed to be a meeting of the 6 surviving A4s - a two year event held at the NRM in honor of the 75th anniversary of Mallard's record-setting run.

"Record setting" is a past-tense term here. While there have been no official runs, every single one of the Pennsylvania Railroad's T1 and S1 locomotives claim to have gone faster than 126 without meaning to, and numerous other locomotives on unofficial attempts done late at night on flat stretches of land across the country have hit 130+.

British Expats have also done better than 126 - Coronation claims to have hit at least 140 on a midnight mail train in 1980, and in Korea, Merlin claims to have hit 128 on a test train, although that was judged by timing mile markers as his speedometer wasn't functioning properly.

Problems arose before any of the engines had even reached the NRM, as Mallard's already sizeable ego had swelled to massive proportions, and several engines in the great hall were planning a justifiable homicide.

Then came the time restraints - none of the foreign locomotives were willing to uproot their lives and jobs for two years just to sit motionless in a shed. A two year exhibition was eventually negotiated down to a 6 month gala, much to the irritation and confusion of the NRM, who could not understand that the engines were still in service.

Then came the extra engines - Dwight and Dominion thought that the NRM knew about Fleece, and were quite insulted on his behalf when he wasn't invited - they threatened to not attend unless arrangements were made for Fleece to attend as well.

An utterly baffled NRM agreed, but also tore their record archives apart, as they knew that Fleece had been scrapped. The fact that his picture was plastered all over CSX's Florida Division website was all the more confusing as a result.

Meanwhile in Busan, nobody knew that Merlin had escaped the scrappers' torch and therefore did not invite him. He was only informed after K-Pop star Psy texted him from London to ask if he knew about the event, which was being advertised on television.

Merlin, having missed his friends from the LNER, decided that he would just crash the party, used some of his many vacation days, and took off for England on a cargo ship.

By sheer coincidence, all four foreign A4s hit the dock in Southhampton on the same day, and were delighted to see each other - especially Merlin, considering that everyone else had thought he'd died.

Meanwhile at the NRM, delight was not the word one would use. Befuddled, confused, shocked even, but not delighted. Their plans had revolved around 6 A4s, most of which wouldn’t be running - only to now discover that there were 7, all but one of which were functioning! (Mallard, the star of the show, was the odd one out, and it drove him crazy)

Then they got a phone call from their man at the docks saying that another one had showed up, looking like he’d driven out of a K-pop album cover, and they just gave up and started screaming.

Screaming is also what happened when the cavalcade of foreigners showed up in York - first of all, the quartet of new engines sounded nothing like they had when they left England.

Dwight had willfully unlearned his Upper Crust British accent by 1971, and had fallen deep into a California accent (quite similar to what Scotsman sounds like - coincidence? No.)

Dominion and Fleece hadn’t tried to unlearn their accents, but 40+ years of living in North America can really dilute the Britishness. It doesn’t help that Dominion has developed most Canadian vocal tics eh?

As stated above, Merlin has a weird fuckin accent, and now he speaks English with a strong Yorkshire accent, but will occasionally and without warning drop into a Korean/Yorkshire hybrid accent.

The screaming also happened because the NRM had wanted to repaint the duo trio! quartet?! into LNER garter blue, and were promptly informed that “we’re painted like this for work! Don’t touch it!” (the sole exception was Dwight, who hadn’t pulled a real train in 14 years, but he liked his Daylight Limited paint), so instead of the new arrivals showing up in LNER colours, they showed up looking like THIS:

Having their long-lost siblings show up looking and sounding like THAT had quite an affect on the A4s and the other NRM engines:

Bittern could not believe her eyes - to the point where she actually began making noise about seeing an optometrist

Union of South Africa almost backed through a wall

Sir Nigel Gresley was speechless for two days

Mallard was so angry that he actually chipped a tooth during one of his rants about “the impropriety of it all!!”

Evening Star laughed so hard that he managed to derail himself without moving

City of Truro almost cracked a piston from shock

Alycidon spent the entire gala coming up with more and more laser focused jabs at Mallard - who was so easy to fluster that the Deltic needn’t have bothered

Oliver Cromwell and Green Arrow made fast friends with the new arrivals, and spent the entire time learning ‘Americanisms’ to annoy the other engines with.

But what about Flying Scotsman? Where was he in all of this? He was generally considered to be the “leader” of the NRM fleet (much to Mallard’s annoyance), and was usually who the other engines turned to when things started getting out of control.

Did Scotsman calm things down? Like hell he did. The inmates were running the asylum from the moment that Scotsman saw the other A4s - more importantly saw Dwight - and immediately greeted them in flawless Californian.

This actually set off the building’s security alarm, as Flying Scotsman saying “DUDES! Wassup?!” caused such an uproar that the noise broke several exterior windows.

----

And all of this was in the first few days - there were six months left to go.

There was one railtour attempt. It was supposed to feature Bittern and Sir Nigel running in tandem, but instead featured Dwight and Merlin, mainly because Bittern wanted to see what would happen.

They exceeded the max speed limit for steam traction within 15 minutes, sparked a thorough investigation by the RAIB, and got all future steam powered railtours for the Gathering cancelled immediately.

On the plus side, the two engines did prove that it was still possible for a steam train to hit 100 safely.

One thing that baffled the other engines was the inordinately large number of people who turned up just to see Dominion, and the one person who kept turning up to see Fleece - it took a lot of explaining for them to understand that Dominion had been married three times, and had children (adopted) and grandchildren from all three marriages coming to see her. A similar amount of explaining was required to explain that Fleece’s girlfriend/partner wanted to see him too.

The normally chatty Dwight and Scotsman would suddenly clam up whenever Dominion and Fleece teasingly tried to ask about their love lives, something which wasn’t unnoticed by the other engines, but got similarly nowhere.

The answer to why they both shut the hell up was explained when a lot of shouting broke out in the yard of the NRM one day about a month into the exhibition:

Irene Eisenhower, not content to sit in California and count her billions, quickly grew bored without her husband, and decided to go to England and be with him. The fact that she definitely did not fit the UK loading gauge was never even a consideration, and so she just showed up in York on the back of a lorry, having informed no-one of her arrival, and content to just pay off the requisite people if a fuss occurred.

A fuss did occur, and it was only ended when Scotsman managed to convince the museum’s curator (who at this point in his life was regretting ever thinking of this damned gathering) that Irene was a ‘temporary donation’ to the museum.

[Scotsman, who definitely hid his Cali accent from museum staff the entire time, has one of the best poker faces in the world]

Dwight was overjoyed, and so was Scotsman, for initially unclear reasons. Then Irene managed to grab both her husband and Scotsman, dragged them behind a shed, and [THIS IS A PG13 HEADCANON] the both of [PG13]. Turns out that while Scotsman may have slept his way across the US a few times, he was actually ready to settle down with Dwight and Irene - they were a throuple way back in the 70s, and those passions haven’t faded. When Scotsman reluctantly left the US in 74, a lot of the reluctance was because of those two.

This bombshell of a revelation went over interestingly at the NRM. Some engines (Green Arrow) were happy for them, some were incensed (Mallard - although it was for anti-American reasons, not homophobic ones), and some were intensely curious about what was going on in the outside world (Bittern).

The ‘foreigners’ (as Mallard had taken to calling them), were deeply displeased at how their fellow engines were being treated - while a lot of them were ‘in steam’, some were not and might never be again, something they found abhorrent. Unable to do anything at that time, as the NRM was not a for-profit entity and therefore did not have anyone to bribe, (Irene’s solution to things is to throw money at the situation) the engines started talking about how life was different in the outside world - namely that engines were still working hard, even when they were over a century old and running on steam power.

This was of great interest to engines like Evening Star and (6220) Duchess of Hamilton, neither of whom were likely to be steamed again, and Bittern, who was growing more and more curious with each passing day. Dissent began to slowly build against the NRM curators, and the culture of the United Kingdom in general.

One thing the foreigners did try do something about was Ellerman Lines. The poor bastard had been sectioned to show his inner workings, much to the jaw-dropped horror of the foreign A4s, who made such a stink about it that he was moved outside the museum by NRM staff, who must have thought that the engines lacked object permanence or something, because that didn’t make it better!

Irene Eisenhower, who was beginning to get really sick of the nonsense that the NRM called preservation, (Scotsman was not in running condition, and had been hastily reassembled mid-overhaul in order to be cosmetically ready for the event, and let’s not forget poor Ellerman Lines) elected to bring the event to a close on her own after only three months. She did this by eventually putting her immense wealth to good use, and called for a haulage service to rescue the engines from the NRM without the knowledge of the museum staff. Aside from the A4s, she also took Ellerman Lines, Scotsman, and Bittern (who had asked to go) with her, and only bothered to inform Ellerman and Bittern - she was not about risk Scotsman having another “think of England” moment and staying.

The haulage firm was efficient and the cargo ship was waiting, so the engines were in international waters before the NRM opened the next morning.

Much swearing occurred in England that day, and the NRM’s image has yet to fully recover from the PR story that they had sold Flying Scotsman (and Ellerman Lines) to a reclusive American billionaire.

Privately though, the NRM does not care, as that story is a lot better than “Someone stole our engines and we’re not allowed to get them back because as it turns out we’re slaveowners, so no international court will help us.”

Also, despite their multimillion dollar “donation" from the I. Eisenhower Opportunity Fund, they still haven’t been able to fully pacify their engines, all of whom have somehow gotten the idea that they should be running in main line service like they live on Sodor or something...

--------

Dwight, Scotsman, and Irene all live happily together in the sprawling Eisenhower estate in Malibu. Irene is currently lobbying the California state government to legalize polygamy, with moderate success.

Ellerman Lines, after a lot of therapy and a full rebuild, is now working on a short line in Wyoming. He likes the scenery.

Bittern followed Dwight, Irene, and Scotsman to Los Angeles, and used her ‘connections’ (Dwight) to get a supporting role in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Since then, she’s gotten several roles based on her own merits, including an Emmy nomination for Best Guest Appearance in a Comedy.

Merlin spent a few months in LA before he went back to Korea. He is very thankful that he was able to reconnect with his brothers and sisters, and that his homeland has good internet, as he video calls his family across the Pacific almost every day.

Golden Fleece still lives a quiet life in Florida, but finally decided to tie the knot, and married his girlfriend in 2017. The ceremony was supposed to be quiet, but Irene Eisenhower has no idea what that word means.

Dominion of Canada continues to baffle non-local trainspotters when she runs commuter trains into Toronto. She is now a great-grandmother.

7 years later, and the term “Great Gathering” is still a forbidden phrase in the back rooms of the NRM.

#ask response #long #really long #I wrote this for like me and two other people at most #national railway museum #flying scotsman #Headcanon #ttte #ttte adjacent #bittern #mallard #train headcanon #locomotive rights headcanon #extremely specific headcanon #headcanon

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handweavers · 4 years

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top 5 historical figures :3

there are sooo many i’ll just list the ones i find most interesting at the moment and most of them are roman bc i’ve been reading a lot about the ancient mediterranean lately :3 i tried to make it short but....well

1. the gracchi brothers (late roman republic) - tiberius gracchi was a tribune (basically a bureaucrat) who tried to institute land reform bills to combat the extreme wealth inequality and financial crisis plaguing the poor of rome that would redistribute land to poor people and limit the amount of land that could be owned by one person and the senators literally beat him to death in the street with their bare hands. his brother gaius then became a tribune and tried to do the same thing as well as pushed for the government to give subsidized grain to the urban poor so they wouldn’t starve to death all the time and the senators had him beheaded. they were later greatly admired by left radicals during the french revolution and later lenin in russia.

2. julie d’aubigny (late 17th century france) - sword-slinging bisexual opera singer who wore men’s clothes and seduced many men and women across europe. fell in love with another woman while working as an opera singer and the girl’s family found out and sent her to a convent, julie followed and set the convent on fire and ran away with her girlfriend. like a million things happened after her life was wild but this paragraph from an article on her makes me scream: “her career in paris was interrupted after she attended a court ball in men’s clothes and kissed a young woman on the dance floor, for which insult she was challenged to a duel by three different noblemen. she told each of them she would meet him outside, fought them all at once, and beat them all. but given that louis had outlawed duels, she had to flee to brussels, where she became the lover of the elector of bavaria. he found her a bit too much to handle after she stabbed herself on stage with a real dagger, and offered her 40,000 francs to leave him alone. she threw the coins at the feet of his emissary and stomped off to madrid in a huff.” queen

3. elagabalus (roman emperor c. 218 ce) - this short-lived syrian emperor ascended to the throne aged 14 and was very very very probably a trans girl. i’ll use she/her pronouns bc while i really don’t know how she would have identified within our current framework historical context blah blah blah literally....as a trans person... elagabalus was trans. elagabalus named herself after the latin version of the name of the syrian sun god, and became “notorious” for dressing as a woman, decked in wigs, makeup, and fashionable frocks. she married four women and a male athlete, and also fell in love with her charioteer, a slave named hierocles. elagabalus apparently “delighted to be called the mistress, the wife, the queen of hierocles,” preferred to be called a woman, and reputedly offered to reward any doctor who could give her bottom surgery to have a vulva. she didn’t really care about the roman religion and replaced several roman deities including jupiter with syrian gods. she was also reported to have engaged in sex work, and lavished favours on male courtiers. she was known for being “extremely eccentric and decadent” and she was assassinated in 222 ce aged approx. 18 years of age. modern historians and contemporary writers of her time have been incredibly cruel to her but i think she was really cool and i like that she just did whatever she wanted, and she really didn’t deserve to die like she was literally just a teenager. also think its incredibly funny that she didn’t give a fuck about the roman pantheon and just played around with it and added all of her syrian gods to it and got rid of the roman ones and when it pissed off all of the senators she was like “so????” we stan

4. al-khayzuran (abbasid queen-mother, wife, and slave c. 8th century ce) her story is really complex and fascinating but basically, she was of yemeni arab descent and was sold into slavery before becoming the favourite concubine of the abbasid caliph al-mahdi and mothering two children who would go on to become caliphs themselves. during the reign of her husband and her two children, she was their de-facto co-ruler and involved herself in politics outside of the harem (women’s quarters), which was unusual for the time. this article on her is really good and this bit summarizes her well: “harun al-rashid (r. 786-809), arguably one of the greatest of the abbasid caliphs, is well known to many historians and history enthusiasts for his deeds and for presiding over the “golden age” of the abbasid caliphate. however, his mother, khayzuran, does not lay as much claim to fame as her illustrious son, despite the fact that she was the power behind his throne (while she lived) and that of his father and brother before him. during her life and career khayzuran rose from the status of slave to becoming the caliph, al-mahdi’s (r. 775-785), favorite concubine, and then his legal wife and a queen in her own right who wielded an immense amount of political power and whose wealth was second only to that of her husband’s in the entire caliphate. this feat was impressive not only because khayzuran was able to elevate herself from slavery to royalty, but also because she did it during an era when social mobility, for both men and women, was very limited or in most cases impossible.” also, one of my favourite bits of info about her: when her son, caliph al-hadi, disrespected her and threatened to have her favourite son (harun al-rashid) killed and attempted to assassinate her, she secretly had HIM assassinated by getting some of her pretty female slaves to seduce and then smother him with pillows, which made harun al-rashid caliph of the abbasid empire.

5. as always......hadrian (roman emperor c. 117-138 ce) - he was born in roman spain and became emperor after trajan, and is considered one of the last “good five emperors” prior to the decline of western rome. he spent most of his reign travelling across the empire basically as a tourist, wanting to learn as much as possible about everything, and constructing new buildings as he went including hadrian’s wall in brittania. he had “an insatiable curiosity about everything and everybody. the christian writer tertullian called him omnium curiositatum explorator, an explorer of everything interesting. that curiosity was bred of a keen intellect and an anguished spirit.” he was interested in astrology, greek poetry, and considered himself an ��aesthete” who would climb mount etna and jabal agra (in sicily and syrian antioch respectively) just to watch the sun rise. he wore a beard in the greek style even though he was mocked by his senators (but the beard would become a trend that future emperors would follow) and they considered him to be complicated and often paradoxical - he could be extremely kind and also very cruel, loud and rapacious and yet gentle and compassionate, rational and logical and yet completely irrational, etc. his marriage was childless, likely because he was gay and not at all interested in women. he developed an intense relationship with a turko-greek youth antinous, who later died under suspicious circumstances and hadrian’s grief was so immense he had thousands of statues erected for him and immortalized him in the roman pantheon of gods. to this day people across the former roman empire still find statues of antinous, accidentally digging them up in their backyards. in extreme contrast, he was also the emperor who suppressed the bar kokhba revolt in judea, basically wiped judea off the map and replaced it with the region of syria palestina, and this war resulted in the deaths of thousands of jewish people, and those who survived were sold into slavery or exiled. this event basically created the concept of jewish people as a diaspora, the major exile. this was the only major war or conflict during his reign - the rest was notably peaceful - but it was one of the bloodiest in roman history and the consequences of it are still extremely relevant. i find him a really fascinating historical figure as a result of all of these paradoxes and because he was ultimately responsible for one of the most consequential actions in world history.

#i meant to type this in 5 minutes but well........#god help me #long post #transmisogyny tw #antisemitism tw

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veldian · 3 years

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tell us more of ur think tank hcs i personally am at the edge of my seat

HELL YEAH ALRIGHT HERE WE GO. some of these might be against canon in some way but that's your fault for trusting me with this

ALSO, AS USUAL, I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE. THIS GOT VERY LONG. when i think about the tanks i go fuckin wild with it

starting with pride headcanons to get the ball rolling

all the tanks are nonbinary, but additionally, dala is a trans woman and 0 is a trans man

8 hates gender he fucking hates it. every day he wakes up and says "today i will make gender my bitch" and then he does. he says this in the game too you just don't know cuz he only speaks in static (don't factcheck this)

if you ask 8 what pronouns she uses, they will shrug and give you a "i dunno" noise. sometimes it'll make a non-committal hand movement and some unintelligible noises. good luck

god this bitch (borous) is gay! good for him! good for him.

he's also intersex! i don't remember where we got that hc but i like it and im holding onto it

okay but borous calls himself bi because yeah Men, but he also loves dala very much and doesn't want to misgender her. also as previously stated, 8's main goal is to confuse everyone about their gender so the tanks all stick with mspec labels to be on the safe side. you never know what'll happen. gender is a ticking time bomb

bi gang: klein, borous, 0

pan gang: dala, mobius

don't ask her about any of her identities she doesn't know the answer either: 8

have i gone off about polytank dynamics enough? i don't think so

8 and dala started dating first because horny bitches gravitate towards each other. they can also "pass" as a "straight couple" so hopefully no one at work will look at them and call them slurs. hopefully

klein and borous knocked things out of the park for being the first gay scientists ever

8 and dala became polyam icons and pulled 0 in. trans bitches gravitate towards each other

klein and borous did the same with mobius. bitches with facial hair gravitate towards each other

???????

idk and then all six of them started dating somehow. the end

somewhere along the way klein and 8 were like "i like you a little too much" and now they're inseparable

okay anyway. misc hcs

ive mentioned this before but when i pretend everything is in modern times, 0 is a tiktokker and he thrives on the attention and making fun of his coworkers on the internet

"watching steven universe repeatedly when i felt even slightly bad transed my gender" - doctor 8 old world blues

i just remembered i made a carrd for the tanks as if they were kinnies in their early to mid 20s

8 kinned pearl su. borous kinned werewolf cookie. 0 kinned rimmer red dwarf. mobius kinned... morbius forbidden planet. obviously. klein refused to put his kins on it. DID DALA KIN FROM DANGANRONPA

i think at one point we had a half-joking hc where klein gets nauseous if he sees blood

and then that changed to he can't see others blood, only his own

while borous can't see his own blood, but he's fine seeing other ppl's

i know borous said that gabe barked at everyone, but i think gabe trusts the other tanks because he knows borous does

borous set up a kissing booth with gabe. the crowd goes wild

when the tanks get together they usually go to klein's. he's the leader or something. also he has a fucking bar in his house.

he complains about them the whole time but you can really tell he loves having people over. why else would he deck his house out like that? he LOVES hosting stuff. house husband

if you saw my chart where i said klein would rather die than do dishes, i was so wrong. his house is pristine. its easily the cleanest

klein's love language is acts of service. he goes over to his partners' houses when they feel awful and clean stuff up for them when they can't. he also makes them food if they want it. he only complains a little, but you can tell he's mostly teasing

did you know klein has five mugs in his kitchen in-game. he's literally prepared to host his partners at any given moment.

the group have learned that letting 8 come over when their house is a mess is a Huge mistake. it goes from 8 trying to help "tidy up" to "im going to put your books and albums in alphabetical order by artist also your clothes are going to be hue-sorted"

"8 why are there only 8 books on each of my bookshelves"

"it looks better"

"it literally does not"

8 can no longer stomach going into 0's house

on the other hand, 0 hates staying in 8's house. the ticking of all their clocks is sensory hell

on 80 date nights they have to do rock-paper-scissors for which house they go to. or they go out. they love each other but their houses drive the other fucking nuts

oh speaking of their houses. yes dala said she didn't like Literal Teddy Bears but that is null and void considering she has teddies in her house

and she has 5 on her bed. five of them :)

she named all of them after her partners! its mostly cute but there is a slight bit of concern because they know what she does with them <__<

not that 8 has any place to judge. mobius found batteries under its pillow once. all 8 said was "they can vibrate." mobius regrets touching them.

i don't know what to say about dala's mannequins i don't have anything funny im just scared

WHY ARE 0 AND KLEIN THE ONLY ONES WITH BATHROOMS IT DRIVES ME INSANE 0'S BATHTUB ISNT EVEN LAYING DOWN ITS AGAINST THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT GENERATOR IN HIS BATHROOM DO THE OTHER TANKS JUST SHIT OUTSIDE I'M SEEING RED

mobius and 0 are both into robotics, and they worked together to make muggy, so they've had date nights where they mainly tinker with electronic things.

0 gets very excited when he makes a breakthrough, and seeing that warms mobius's heart. mobius made a habit of kissing 0 on the forehead or squeezing 0 into a hug when they figure things out.

(0 remembers he likes men.) 😳

dala/klein date nights are essentially just them drinking and gossiping chatting

i asked polycule for some more, so here are ones from your local think tank kinnies

borous -

"klein and borous both like classical music in very different ways. klein mostly likes it to feel smart (see: wheatley) but he just started associating it with the others so it felt nicer And borous just likes it bc hes borous"

klein also likes jazz, but so do all the rest of them

8 has a cochlear implant

"dala likes dressing up to look pretty (see: runway) but is personally embarrassed by it (until she gets encouragement) bc she feels like the others dont support that"

"0 loves collecting and reading those stupid magazines with the birthday party products and themes that ud wanna buy from as a kid but are way too expensive"

"mobius has a secret love for puppetry and will try to bring it up sometimes whenever he can. hes made 3 separate sets of the other tanks as puppets and they freak 0 out"

"borous, in an attempt to better his faults, has started learning from dala and 8 on how to take care of plants instead of what he did before. his basement turns into a cool little green house cozy cuddle area"

"to add on: 8 gardens to cope whenever hes alone bc (projects onto ur kin) he mood drops very fast when alone"

"mobius likes dressing in cozy sweaters and fancy stuff"

0 -

"0 doesn't like anal that much" (thanks.)

dala -

"their new rap album called boyz in the tanks" (THANKS.)

and to top things off, :) here are the normal names for them all, created primarily by our borous kinnie

klein - Ernest Klein (nicknamed ernie)

mobius - Wilbert Mobius (nicknamed bert)

borous - James H. Borous (nicknamed jamie)

dala - Dala Theodore (HER NICKNAME IS TEDDY ITS GENIUS)

8 - Emmett Handley (nicknamed 8 + emmy)

0 - Robert O'Barrick (nicknamed 0/O + robbie (HIM SHARING HOUSE'S NAME IS INTENTIONAL. HE'S TRANS HE PICKED HIS NAME WHY DID HE DO THIS))

#tech.txt #old world blues

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ihopethisendswell · 3 years

Text

Me and my OCs:

This isn't just about my pokemon oc's. No no no no. This is my journey of me having 0 Oc's ( not knowing what they where back then) to having far too many for my own good.

It started back in middle school, where it was one if those rare creative writing periods. We rarely get those, so of course I was excited. This was also when I started reading a lot of fantasy books, specifically YA novels. So my imagination ran wild, and I created my first oc.

Her name was ViraBlue. Yes that sounds like a online profile. Yes, she was very edgy. Yes , I tried to write a very bad story for her. And no, I'm not going to go into it. The only thing I will go into, is that I thought it would be cool for her to have a team. A five man band if you will. Teen Titans was my favorite show at the time, and I was getting introduced to anime AND I was reading wattpad due to my friend who suggested it to me. So this was spelled for disaster. Though I will say I realized my passion for creative writing. Even if my own writing was terrible.

I'm going to skip over all middle school and a bit of highschool to just say that my Oc's evolved. For example, ViraBlue was no longer her name. As of now her name is Elora. Also, her and her team are no longer just white people. Elora is a wonderful black woman such as myself, and honestly I feel FAR more attached to her than I did before. Also when remaking my ocs to be more diverse( both in race and in body diversity),I learned Asian is a umbrella term, so it doesn't just mean China or Japan. It also means Thailand, India, the Philippines, and much more! It really opened my eyes a lot to the world around me actually.

So yeah, you'd think that'll be it, right? WRONG. Cause theres more! A lot more. So much more I'm gonna but it on bulletin notes :)

Somewhere between highschool and middle school, I was very interested the pokemon protagonist, in terms of what they were like as individuals.

Now I know that that's very weird, given the majority of the protagonists are blank slates l, but two things. 1) Hilda's design has so much attitude that I REFUSE to believe she's a blank slate( eventhough she is) and 2) sun and moon brought back and older Red, with his own semblance of personality. I was so happy when it was announced.

But after searching the internet, and realizing the chance of me getting my preteen hands on the manga were low

So I did the only reasonable thing and make my own oc for each game and have them replace the player character as the main protagonist. Every main series game. Except the Kanto ones. I....I've had enough of kanto. I might change my mind later.

I'm actually almost done! All I have to do is finish USUM, and play emerald and heartgold and I'll be done.

I was so invested in this that I made myself a ( linear) timeline to keep track of things, as well as trying to find characters ages as a reference. Oh my god, that was a lot.

Then they're was that sequel idea that I had for my first Oc's story( the one with Elora). I didn't even finish the first story! Let alone start writing!

It didn't help that the setting of the story was a full erease universe and a timeskip into the future away from the original story. No I will not elaborate.

The main character's name is an ( sun?) elf Imani and she's tall ( duh) and really likes her history and her friends.

I then realized that these two stories where very important to me,so it would be best to work on them more to flesh them out......

Until I made a new set of characters for a supernatural thing. I literally just made a person,her brother, her friends, her brothers friend,her brothers love interest, and the siblings moms that aren't always there because one of them is basically the grim reaper but not really abd the other help with purifing damaged souls or something like that. Mind you, I have no specific story for them, except they live in New York and do stuff. That's it.

Now would be a good time to say that all of my ocs are LGBTQ+, and I don't mean this as a flex. I say this because they honestly have helped me trying to find myself. I still don't know what I am, or if my feelings are real, but I do know that these characters made me appreciate the change of it all. Like Elora and her team where all straight white people, and while there is nothing wrong with that, the more I changed, they've changed as well. Elora is now asexual biromantic. Now that's not what I'll exactly call myself, but it's kinda close. I think. Idk. Not to mention that I'm now more aware of the world around me, and the struggles people face( even if I'm still learning)

Anyway back to ranting.

CHOICE. OF. GAMES

How dare they exploit my love for character creation and choose your own story games!

Honestly, besides my own characters, and some outside factors, Choice of games made me aware that men liking men is real, and so is women liking woman, and that non-binary people exist!

For granted, I still didn't understand it at the time, but in Wayhaven chronicles I choose the men and women option and didn't look back.( I only played the demo cause I have no money)

Then I started playing a lot of wips, and somehow made 4 characters that reflect 4 play styles that I personally like playing.

Eventually they became so big in there own that I thought " these are the type of ocs that I'll just mess around with. No overarching story, just a good ol time" and for once I stuck by it.

Though for some reason I gave them a theme of the deck of suits????( Like diamond, heart, spades and clover).

There's Jamie( diamond). They're the shyest of the bunch. A lot more withdrawn and tend to freak out a lot( like me!) Though when the time comes, they're quite possible the bravest in the room. They come from a rich family cause why not. They're omnisexaul.

Then there's Edric( heart). Friends( and enemies that he likes) call him Eddy. He's very flirty and down to have a good time. He wears what he wants and does it in ✨ style ✨. He can wear a clown suit and make it look sexy. He's asexual panromantic.

Min( spades) ! I got the name from playing Smoke and Velvet: The Gnawing Chronicles ( by @roast-ifs ) cause I was to lazy to come up with a name and it just stuck. For the most part she's more stoic than the rest. Not entirely an introvert, but not extroverted either. She's try's to keep her emotions to herself, which for the most part she's very successful at, but it can get hard when it comes to people she cares about ( both platonically and romantically). In another wip called Secrets of Swatheforn ( by @swatheford ) she's actively trying to NOT acknowledge her feeling for one of the ROs ( Cass) so that's fun. Min is a trans women, and is bisexual ( women and non-binary people)

The last one actually is the least developed out of all of them. I know that they're non-binary, and that they represent clover. I actually haven't played as them as much as say Jamie or Edric has. So yeah. They exist.

So that my very long oc journey. I don't except my creative mind to stop, but I really have to many. Sooooo yeah! That's all.

#rants n rambles #my oc shit #my ocs #my ocs are my babies #i love them dearly #choice of games #creative writing #all that jazz #thats all #have a nice day #long post

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whimsyprinx · 4 years

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We can interact!! Tell me about your ocs!!!!

!!!! Yay! So my most developed ocs are cinnamon and hazel, cinnamon is a fairy witch, aka a witch who is a fairy godparent (she’s at least studying to be one right now at pureheart university (name is subject to change maybe)) and hazel use to be a pumpkin! Their story is a short one that I hope to turn into a webcomic some day, it’ll be about their relationship and them falling in love! Cinnamon is a trans woman and hazel is nonbinary and uses any pronouns

My next most developed oc is cashmere who so my current dnd character, she’s nonbinary also, she is a rogue with a tragic past because itsa me, tldr because I’m still working on getting her story right she had a shitty super rich family and heart complications until one day a stranger appeared and offered to help her and solve her problem, the stranger used their magic and created a new heart for cashmere. Cashmere decided to run away from her home that night and for a while things were okay but soon her heart started getting weaker and she realized the magic was dying and had no clue what to do, she found out that taking potions helped slow the process but she is now looking for the mysterious stranger in hopes of them helping her once again (spoilers in my head I’m imagining he solution is letting people into her heart and actually loving others because she’s never done that in her life). She’s kind of vain and stuck up and still has a “I’m better than you” personality from her past as being a rich bitch.

Then there’s my magical girl oc serenity, I’m still working on her story and figuring stuff out but she fights nightmare monsters which deep out of peoples dreams and into the normal world, there’s a realm with two kingdoms, a dream kingdom and a nightmare kingdom, as far as she and her companions know the nightmare kingdom is overthrowing the dream kingdom and put the queen or princess or whoever in a deep nightmare filled slumber and probs his her away somewhere!

Then there aerial who is the main character of my harpy little mermaid retelling/reimagines story, I’m trying to challenge myself to write the story and have concepts/official designs done for the characters by the end of the year and even start the webcomic for the story by the end of this year but it’s going Slowly. It’s nblw, she falls in love with a nonbinary human who she saves from a sky diving accident (the human is a thembo basically and brought their cat with them and was pressured into sky diving and their cat jumps out the plane and they without thinking jump after their cat and catch them but woopsie they didn’t grab a parachute because there wasn’t time and then pass out and get saved by aerial) their name is skylar for now.

There’s midnight who is the main character of the recipe webcomic I wanna make one day, it’s a webcomic that’s like telling people recipes but formatted as if it’s a cooking show if that makes sense? It’s her cooking show called midnight snack, is also like to start that by the end of this year if I don’t start aerials story!

There’s predicta, my she ra oc who I’m working on developing! They’re agender and use they/them pronouns only, they’re fine with being called a princess but prefer prinx or princette, idk much about them honestly like I know they have fortune telling based powers and use tarot cards to tell the future as well as crystal balls, I also imagine that they have a deck or tarot cards which they use to create spells or attacks based on the card they pull, they probs also have a garnet situation where they see possible futures instead of one certain future outcome.

I have a team rocket oc named Mina who I should honestly develope more because she’s cute, she falls in love with like a pokemon trainer/gym leader I think and she’s actually not super evil, she’s just as dumb as team rocket though!

I wanna make a kipo oc as well as an epithet erased oc someday!

Also not really about an oc but I wanna make a dating sim that takes place in cinnamon and hazels world and takes place in the fairy godparents university! Also fun fact midnights story and probs aerials story takes place in the same world as cinnamon and hazels story, as do a few other short stories I want to make into a comic one day! If it’s not obvious yet I super love fantasy whimsical stuff and magical girls agskdbkd. I know there’s more ocs I’m forgetting but memory bad. I also have ocs that exist but don’t have much of a story yet because sadly my writing isn’t that great

#rambles #asks #mavy1 #thanks for the ask!#long post #okay to reblog #ahsjvskdv #i love rambling about my stories and ocs abskbdkd

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queencryo · 5 years

Text

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

#blog #ohio trip 2 #journal

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qqueenofhades · 6 years

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March is Women's History Month and I got myself thinkin' about how grateful I am for the gal pals in my life (of which you are most definitely one!), and I was wondering - what are some of your favorite historical female friendships and why?

Happy Women’s History Month indeed. Let’s get some ladies up in this joint and do some learning.

Below, in (approximately) chronological order:

1. MurasakiShikubu and Empress Shoshi (10th/11th century)

Murasaki Shikibu was a lady-in-waiting to the Japanese empress Shoshi in the late 10th/early 11th century, and is credited as the author of the first novel, The Tale of Genji. She also kept the Diary of Lady Murasaki, which records details of court life and her relationship with the empress, who was her patron and supported her literary pursuits. Allegedly, Shoshi asked Murasaki to write some more stories when she needed something new to read, and they eventually retired together to the country once Shoshi’s son became emperor. Shoshi herself was a shrewd political operator who carefully managed her family and dynasty’s fortunes, became a Buddhist nun, and died at the age of 86.

2. Christinede Pizan and Anastasia (14th/15th century)

Christine de Pizan was an Italian-French author in the late fourteenth/early fifteenth century, who wrote what are often characterized as many early feminist texts and literary critiques. She wrote blazing responses to popular romances written by men (which were often horrendously misogynist) and was in demand as an author; her texts were commissioned by royalty and kept on elite library shelves. She also sought out other women to collaborate with, including Anastasia, who we know only by her first name. Christine praised her as the finest manuscript illuminator and illustrator in Paris, whose work was hotly in demand, and who had worked on several projects for Christine herself.

3. The Rain Queens of the Lovedu (16th century-present)

This is technically about mothers and daughters, but shh, it counts. The South African tribe of the Lovedu has been ruled for centuries by a “rain queen,” whose wisdom passed from mother to daughter, and who was presented with wives by surrounding chiefs in recognition of her magical powers. If it doesn’t rain, the queen doesn’t get blamed, her (male) rain doctors get blamed instead, and any children of her “brides” are regarded as hers. It created a mystical, matriarchical tradition in the tribe throughout generations, though in the 21st century it has run into modern political difficulties.

4. Queen Elizabeth I and Grace O’Malley (16th century)

Queen Elizabeth I needs no introduction, but Grace O’Malley was an Irish pirate queen who ruled around the Connaught area of Ireland in the late 16th century. When she and her sons ran afoul of English justice, she applied to Queen Elizabeth directly for an audience, which eventually happened at Greenwich in 1593. Elizabeth spoke no Irish and Grace spoke no English, so the two women spoke Latin to each other. Grace must have also made quite an impression on her fellow queen, as Elizabeth released her sons and granted her a pardon, as long as she didn’t return to her reaving ways.

5. Julie d’Aubigny and Fanchon Moreau (17th century)

Julie d’Aubigny, or “La Maupin” had an almost ridiculously eventful life. A cross-dressing, bisexual, sword-fighting opera singer, she famously burned down a convent to run away with her nun lover, kissed a girl at a society party and beat all three of the noblemen who challenged her to duels as a result, and had a noted career in French theater. Fanchon Moreau was one of the actresses that Julie fell in love with, allegedly trying to commit suicide when Fanchon took up with another lover. She later died at the age of only 33.

6. Christina,Queen of Sweden and her many female friends (17th century)

To speak of impossibly colorful and interesting 17th century women: Christina, Queen of Sweden was also a cross-dressing expert swordswoman, rider, and hunter who spoke ten languages, ruled as queen of Sweden for twenty-two years, then resigned the throne and went to Rome, was ferociously brilliant and educated, and has been sometimes regarded as possibly intersex or trans, though she denied that she was a “Male or Hermaphrodite,” as she had often been accused of. She was also either bisexual or a lesbian, who had many relationships and friendships with women, including possibly with Gabrielle de Rochechouart de Montemart, a dazzling beauty and wit who was the older sister of Louis XIV’s famous mistress, Madame de Montespan. (Gabrielle’s BFF was also the openly gay Philippe, duc d’Anjou, Louis XIV’s younger brother.)

7. Queen Anne and Sarah Churchill (18th century)

Queen Anne was known for her passionate and long-running friendships with women, as I wrote about in the post above, and Sarah Churchill, the Duchess of Marlborough, was the longest-lasting and most influential of these. Anne was in love with her, while Sarah was more pragmatic about her relationship with the princess and then queen, and used her considerable intellect and political opinions in the early years of Anne’s rule. Their relationship broke down in 1708, at the death of Anne’s beloved husband George, and Sarah’s unflattering portrayal of Anne would hold sway for many years after.

8. Anne Bonny and Mary Read (18th century)

If you’ve watched Black Sails, you know about these two, but their real-life counterparts were probably even more colorful. They were swashbuckling female pirates who drank, fought, swore, and fucked as hardcore as their male counterparts, and who fought to the end when their ship got captured, while Calico Jack Rackham hid below deck. (Sorry, Jack, but Black Sails was definitely nice to you.) And yes, the real Anne and Mary were probably in a relationship, though we don’t know for sure.

9. ElizabethFreeman and Catharine Sedgwick (18th/19th century)

Elizabeth Freeman, or “Mum Bett,” was a slave who sued the state of Massachusetts for her freedom – and won – in 1780, and after telling her former master to get fucked, took a paying job with the Sedgwick family. She raised Catharine as a child, and Catharine later wrote her life story, the reason we know about her. Catharine grew up to be a successful novelist whose heroines often rebelled against the strictures of 19th-century American society, and she and Elizabeth are now buried side by side in the Sedgwick family plot. (Does anyone else suddenly have something in their eye? Just me?)

10. Ada Lovelace and Mary Somerville (19th century)

Ada Lovelace, nee Byron, was the only legitimate daughter of the infamous Lord Byron, a brilliant mathematician, and the founding mother of computer science, along with her friend and colleague, the great Victorian inventor and eccentric Charles Babbage. However, she was tutored in her young adulthood by the equally brilliant Mary Somerville, a prolific scientist and author of mathematical and astronomical papers and textbooks, and they were close friends; if Ada had a pressing mathematical problem, she would stop by Mary’s for a cup of tea and a brainstorming session. Somerville College in Oxford is now named in Mary’s honor, after she died at the age of ninety-two.

11. Victoria Woodhull and Tennessee Claflin (19th century)

They were sisters, but shh, again, it counts. Victoria Woodhull was the first woman to run for president of the United States (in 1872, with Frederick Douglass as her running mate) and she and Tennessee were journalists, stockbrokers, and advocates of free love who fought with Party Pooper Extraordinaire and self-appointed guardian of 19th-century American virtue Anthony Comstock, as is written about in the Historical Hour With Hilary entry above. They lived in New York together and ran Woodhull and Claflin’s Weekly, a newspaper, and gave blazing speeches for female suffrage and equality.

12. Lyudmila Pavlichenko and Eleanor Roosevelt (20th century)

Ukrainian-born Lyudmila Pavlichenko was the best female sniper of all time, serving in the Red Army during WWII and recording a total of 309 confirmed kills. That was a lot of Nazis, and she was very proud of killing them. She was one of the rare Soviet citizens invited to America for a victory tour, where the American press fixated on idiotic questions about whether she wore makeup while fighting and that her uniform made her look fat (no, really). However, Lyudmila also met First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, and they struck up an unlikely friendship. Eleanor helped Lyudmila tell the sexist asses where to stick it, and they ended up remaining friends for the rest of their lives, including a meeting 15 years later, in 1957, when Lyudmila was living in quiet obscurity in Moscow.

#history #women in history #queer history #women's history month #prairiepirate #ask

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priestessamy · 2 years

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I posted 4,313 times in 2021

186 posts created (4%)

4127 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 22.2 posts.

I added 268 tags in 2021

#i dont go here but i love them - 87 posts

#amy's antics - 81 posts

#amy’s antics - 24 posts

#yeah - 14 posts

#life is strange - 14 posts

#wktd - 13 posts

#hell yeah - 10 posts

#ask game - 9 posts

#nice - 8 posts

#omg - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#if i took the time to correct every person who didn't look at my goddamn name tag and see that i literally have my pronouns right there?

My Top Posts in 2021

God i just fucking love trans girl voices

Like i just wanna say it

I get gayer every time i hear one

48 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 17:22:16 GMT

Me: *finishes Plain Bad Heroines*

Me: Let’s see what the internet has so far.

Tumblr: *mostly hype posts and recommendations*

AO3: *zip, nada , bupkis*

Me: *cracks knuckles* Guess we’re getting in on the ground floor of this one.

52 notes • Posted 2021-02-23 15:33:04 GMT

"What do you want me to tell your family?" is the most savage thing I've heard in a while

96 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 02:32:18 GMT

Okay so there's not a lot of info on it that's easily google-able.

I was trying hard to figure out who the voice actor was for Steph's ex-girlfriend/ex-bandmate, and it turns out she was Deandra Warrick, who is also the lead writer of Deck Nine

Like... holy shit a trans woman was the lead writer on True colors

That's dope as hell

118 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 15:38:11 GMT

I really want to say that Persephone taking the hit as a trans woman and doing a "guy voice" so readily was like... huge

Like it's one thing to be like "Oh my god your voice is so cute I'm so jealous" or whatever

But as a trans woman, to decide "for the sake of roleplay, I'm going to utilize the voice I've tried so hard to get rid of"

She has my infinite respect forever

296 notes • Posted 2021-09-25 16:51:16 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #this is pretty fascinating

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devosdevine · 6 years

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I’m a Witch.

Witch.

Why use that word? Mostly, because it's true.

Also, because it's an incredibly important word.

As Madeline Miller explains in her brilliant Guardian article, From Circe to Clinton: why powerful women are cast as witches, the word witch "reflect[s] our ideas about women back to ourselves." This lone syllable is a palimpsest of information about women's history: forms of feminine power, fear of feminine power, and the independence of women who hold power.

I learned I was a witch at age 11. Unfortunately, not by owl.

When I was 9, my progressive Episcopal school hired a remarkably conservative pastor. He taught my third grade Bible class that women were inferior members of the Christian faith. Convinced of my equality, I fought him openly. When the class reached Corinthians, I was exiled to the hallway.

Fortunately, I also spent that year studying Scandinavian history and mythology. I thus realized that pre-Christian spiritual alternatives existed, but the old gods still seemed distant, found only in fairy tales and books of ancient history.

Two years later, I stumbled on a curious volume at a used book fair. It was pink, with an picture of a beautiful woman on the cover and a compelling title: The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries. I took it home and devoured it in one sitting.

Running into my mother's bedroom, waving the book like a flag, I hollered, "Mom! I understand now! I'M A WITCH! Everything makes sense!" I was deliriously happy.

My mother lowered her newspaper and said levelly, "OK. But you can't ever say that to anyone else. They won't understand."

If you've met me, you know I'm a rules-follower. (Well, except when my Bible teacher tells me to accept my subservience.) I didn't speak the word "witch" to anyone else for nearly ten years.

Yet, I was a lucky wee witch: I had little supervision, an allowance, subway tokens, and all of New York City at my disposal. I bought a tarot deck at a comic book shop, made a wand from a branch found in Central Park, taught myself to meditate, and spent hours on the floor of Barnes and Noble devouring feminist classics and occult texts.

I paid scant attention to pop cultural depictions of witchcraft. It seemed a bit dangerous: would my curiosity indicate that I was, indeed, a witch? Also, I didn't want to get my information from Willow. I wanted real magic.

When I reached Duke University, I found a trove of resources in the Divinity Library, which was often empty and had a forgotten copy machine in the basement. I studied there, Xeroxing whole chapters from Doreen Valiente's works after I finished my homework.

I also found mentors: a married pair of witches raising their young daughter in the craft. They took me in, filled the many gaps in my knowledge, taught me how to perform rituals with proper tools and other witches, and coached me through many challenges. But they practiced in secret, because North Carolina wasn't a safe place to be a witch in the 1990s. So I practiced in secret, too.

Until I met my husband. Nominally Christian, he was remarkably sanguine about my beliefs and befuddled by my secrecy. We spoke Methodist vows at our wedding, but did so bathed in sunshine and surrounded by flowers, bees, and butterflies, so that I could feel the presence of the divine.

I stuck a toe out of the broom closet after my daughter's birth. As her primary role model, secrecy and sneaking around seemed like a terrible precedent to set. We decided to become an interfaith family: our daughter was baptized, but also included in my observances. Today, we celebrate all pagan holidays and some Christian holidays. Openly.

Yet, I didn't really leave the broom closet until we moved to Asheville, where I found allies, resources, and wise teachers including Byron Ballard, Becky Beyer, Sarah Chappell, Maia Toll, Jodi Rhoden, and Katie Vie. When I stopped hiding, I found my tribe.

So, what do I believe now?

Animism

I am an animist, which means that I perceive all natural things - rocks, plants, trees - as in some way alive. I also believe in divine immanence - an organizing force in the universe that is both holy and present in all natural things. I believe we can perceive divine order in the patterns of sacred geometry - pentagrams, spirals, stars, whorls, the Fibonacci sequence. (Here, let Donald Duck explain!) Thus, I believe nature is to be cherished, protected, and venerated.

Views about classic theological questions - the soul, the afterlife - vary widely among animists. Personally, I think our bodies and consciousness return to nature, but I really don't know what that means. I doubt my mind is capable of understanding it.

Paganism

Paganism is a polytheistic religious practice. I believe it is difficult for the human mind to approach the divine without some organizing principles. Gods, goddesses, myths, and stories help us conceive of the divine in a concrete way. Forming a relationship with one of these manifestations is a way to venerate the divine in the material world.

Views about classic theological questions vary as widely as you might expect among pagans. We have a "family goddess" and organize our veneration around her symbolism and incarnation.

Witchcraft

Witchcraft is a practice, not a religion. Thus, one can be pagan and a witch, pagan but not a witch, and a witch but not a pagan. I happen to be both. There are too many strands of witchcraft to list here.

Witchcraft, as I define it, is the practice of magic.

I think of magic as the conscious direction of intention on the material world. My practices are informed by Reclaiming, Norse, and Dianic Wiccan practices. (But I no longer use materials created by trans-exclusionary authors.) I'm also starting to learn about Appalachian folk magic, since I'm surrounded by it. However, I also think of magic and science as a spectrum: magic can be defined as a collection of observed (and still somewhat fuzzy) knowledge that has been passed down along generations but not incorporated into the laws and rules of "science." I read Sagan and Einstein along with spell books.

My daily spiritual practices include meditation; reading tarot; caring for our land; invoking, spending time in the presence of, and making offerings to our family's matron goddess; working on our family altar; casting spells; and taking classes in herbalism, mysticism, or history. Special spiritual practices are reserved for holidays known as sabbats and esbats.

Sabbats are the eight holy days observed by many Euro-American pagans and witches. They represent spokes on the Wheel of the Year. These are holidays for our family, and we have special traditions associated with each. Many are revivals of pre-Christian festival days, and fall close to popular holidays. Samhain is one of the holiest days of the year, often referred to as "The Witches' New Year." Yule is a lot like Christmas, so our family observes a full week of wintry celebrations. Imbolc is the return of the sun, a better version of Groundhog Day. Ostara is very similar to Easter. Beltane is May Day, and my daughter's school actually celebrates a version of it with costumes, maypole dancing, treats, and games. Summer Solstice, or Litha, is a time for staying up with the sun, catching fireflies, drinking champagne in the grass, and making strawberry shortcakes. Lammas is the first harvest festival; we visit local farms, make bread, and learn about food systems. Mabon, or Autumn Equinox, is the big harvest festival, and I see it as the kickoff of the "season of the witch," when everyone is getting ready for Halloween and I can luxuriate in feeling normal for a month! We carve pumpkins, pick apples, and decorate like love children of the Addams and the Griswolds.

Esbats are rituals held at the Full Moon and New Moon. These are special times for holding rituals and casting spells, so I set up a small ritual for my daughter wherein I teach her some new skill like grounding or casting a circle. Then I do my own rituals and spellwork after she's in bed.

My decision to leave the broom closet was informed by (1) a new sense of safety, because witchcraft is extremely popular right now, but also (2) a new sense of responsibility, because of the misogyny unearthed in the 2016 election.

Clearly, the election itself was informed by a persistent hatred of powerful women. "Witch" played a strong role in misogynistic descriptions and depictions of Hillary Clinton. For younger women, especially witches like myself, this was alternately infuriating and thrilling. It was both a denigration of us as individuals and a recognition of our political power.

As Kristen Sollee has explained, “Witches have always been politically radical, in my opinion, but it seems that even more American witches are these days because the internet allows for a new kind of organizing on a larger scale." After the election, activist witches began to organize, often via the internet or in spaces created by feminist entrepreneurs. W.I.T.C.H's many outposts. Intersectional feminist events at Hauswitch, Catland, Ritualcravt. (And many more I'm surely leaving out.)

Women who were witches - and women who weren't - began to see themselves reflected in the activism of witchcraft.

Then Donald Trump co-opted the term "witch hunt." It rang hollow. As Josephine Livingston said:

On the one side, we have the young woman. Her natal chart is fully indexed; she can read tarot. She knows that Planned Parenthood guards her liberty. Her interest in witchhood is bound up with her political conscience, gender identity, and sense of humor. On the other, the President of the United States. His witchhood is, by contrast, a simple claim: that enemies hunt him for no good reason.

Like Livingston, I believe that "the only sorcery effective against him is solidarity: more magic, more craft, more witches."

If you can hex, do it.

If you can work to regenerate the earth, do it.

If you can bind, do it.

If you have the power of persuasion, use it.

But above all...

If you're a witch, use the word.

It's a powerful word. It rings with history, beauty, pain, and magic. We could all use a little more magic right now, by which I simply mean a little more intention in our relations with the material world, and a little more faith that our intentions matter.

Then, as Miller asks, "perhaps we can at last celebrate female strength, recognising that witches – and women – are not going away."

“We are the granddaughters of the witches you could not burn.” It’s not a biological claim. It’s a tribal cry of belonging. A recognition of my powerful foremothers, the women who were called “witch”: Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, Anne Boleyn, the herbalists, the alewives, the midwives, Hillary.

I’m a witch.

#witch #witchcraft #witches #politics #feminism #pagan #paganism #animism #animist

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lokeanrampant · 5 years

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Indoctrination via Societal Influence

Had an interesting conversation recently that really got me thinking about indoctrination. Cause I HATE indoctrination. Despise it. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s in real life, in books, in video games – the media doesn’t matter, because indoctrination is frequently used to teach people to hate themselves, to not think for themselves, to adhere to a status quo with which we had no say and is a matter of tradition for tradition’s sake (which if you know anything about my blog, you know I LOATHE).

And probably no one will read this and whatever…it’s still something I need to get out and shout and rail against and just…NOT keep inside. There’s a lot about gender identity, forced gender identities and attributes, overall influence and divisiveness to cause power structures, etc. It’s a rant and it’s frustration and it’s tears and it’s pain.

And it’s sorrow.

The stereotypical gender molds – female and male separations – are divisive to me as they seem restrictive by dictating what it means to be one or the other and never the twain shall meet. Which is, if I may, BULLSHIT. What attributes of personality, interests, abilities, etc., are considered “female” or “male” by society is literally that – dictated by a society that was and still is geared toward creating division. If you can separate things, especially people, you can place one over the other. It’s not a merging of people to create a unified community; it’s a division of people to create a power structure. This particular power structure was created to elevate men over women.

Are there biological differences between the classic male and female genders? Absolutely. But there are also a fuckton of biological merging between the two. Medicine is particularly bad about this. To a degree, it makes sense – medicine is based on averages, what works for the majority of people who are similar to x, y, z genetics. That is good EXCEPT when it goes on for too long, it strangles itself and becomes restrictive. With the push for trans rights and visibility and care based on the individual rather than the “norm,” we are actually trying to steer medicine to treating what is presented, not what is textbook average. That is brilliant and what it should be as it works for everyone based on biology, not some preconceived societal dictate.

There is a reason most medications do not work for predominantly genetically female people – they weren’t tested or designed for those people. The majority of medications and procedures and hell, even warning signs for diseases, are all based around predominantly genetically male people. It’s why heart attack symptoms for women are so vastly different and missed. It’s why women miss major illnesses because the pain is less than cramps and we’ve been told for years that we’re overreacting to how painful that is and that cramps are dismissed as an inconvenience, not an actual THING. (Also, please note, anyone with a womb can have uterine cramps, because they are fucking contractions designed to push out unneeded biologic material, and genetics is a complicated and fascinating mess and variety of chromosomes - however you feel is who you are and you are VALID. Medicine is a bitch and until we get Big Pharma out of it and focus on actually healing and not money, well, it is going to continue to be a bitch. Someone tell me why my new medication is over a thousand dollars, $350 with insurance, and fucking $5 with a manufacturer coupon. WTF…if it’s $5 with a coupon, it should be FIVE DOLLARS FLAT. Assholes.)

This societal division creates self-doubt and anxiety that we aren’t male enough or female enough and it spirals into self-hate that we don’t fit. And again, I call BULLSHIT. My sister (and when I start talking gender issues, I start getting twitchy about even calling sister/brother/mother/father as they’re all gendered labels instead of parent and sibling, but ugh, that’s an issue for another day…) presented with PCOS symptoms in high school, especially hirsutism. That caused her a lot of self-doubt in how people perceive her and how she perceives herself. She’s afraid of anything that might make her look more “masculine” to people because of that, to the point she was terrified of getting a short haircut (and she looks super cute with it and she’s so much more comfortable in this heat). WTF, people? We should not be doing that to other people!

And OMG, the comments we get when we do things that are “traditionally male.” Comments from men and women. Things like demolishing, repairing, and rebuilding a deck. The fact that I burn through a pair of “gardening” gloves and hand shears yearly because they don’t make work gloves small enough for me in the local hardware stores and I don’t putter in a garden – I fucking LANDSCAPE. I move stone and gravel and till the ground and build raised beds and clear brush and brambles. Garden gloves don’t survive that shit. Doing these things should not be bad ass for a woman. These things are practical and they need to get done. My sister and I are fortunate to have a house, but we have it because we simply couldn’t afford to continue living in an apartment where the rent went up $400 every six months. Our mortgage is less than our last apartment by a significant amount. However, that also means we have to do all the upkeep and repairs because we still can’t afford large scale repairs without years of saving. It’s a constant battle.

I am the only female in a department of 16 at work. I get comments from the few other women at work regarding my hair, saying how brave I am (I am a dirty ash blonde, but currently have black and raspberry hair, super pretty, because I changed it up for a play. I wish my hair had stayed the strawberry it was when I was little. *pout*). BUT WHY THE FUCK IS THAT BRAVE? It’s HAIR. Why is it more…I don’t know, wild, I guess? Why do we have to give up something like that after some arbitrary age? That goes back to that whole millennial reblog about how we feel pressured to reach arbitrary society-dictated goals by x age and that being an adult means we have to give up certain things. FUCK THAT NOISE. I already feel that I’ve lost out on so many things because my mental health issues had me stalled for years, then I figured out who I was and got started, then mental health went down again (lovely roller coaster ride). But I’m behind. I’m so far behind on those milestones society says we should have by now, even though it’s ridiculous and we shouldn’t have to meet those milestones because they’re simply NOT APPLICABLE to today’s life. They aren’t. If you can meet them, hey, more power to you. Most of us can’t. Most of us won’t. And quite a few of us don’t care to do so because there are more important things to handle right now and giving up who we are to obtain some arbitrary approval isn’t one of them. And yet it still fucking HURTS that I feel I can never have some of those things because I was trained to believe I was only worth something if I had them.

Even then, we can only go so far because our entire system is rooted in that nonsense and we still have to play by some rules just to survive. And it’s stupid and it’s frustrating and you just want to rail at the system because it needs to be changed, but you’re just one person. Just one. And getting past the apathy of so many around you, encouraging people to speak up and gather together to present a front, to not be cowed, to not feel like their voice doesn’t matter, to make them feel like they can help make a change for the better? It’s an uphill battle. People don’t want to get involved. Sure, a lot of them believe in better ideas and ideals, but we’ve been trained to accept, not to fight. (Somehow, I always come back to activism for a better world. I’d say sorry, but I’m not, not really.)

ANYWAY, back to gender identity.

What gender SHOULD be is what each individual chooses to be.

What society has made it is something else entirely. There are these societal molds into female and male traits, where you are one or the other. You’re not supposed to like or do these things if you’re the opposite one. And it’s created this schism where it’s so damned fucking unhealthy. It created toxic masculinity that says males can’t be emotional or seek aid. It’s created this hyper-femininity where women truly believe they need a man to do things. And it’s not wrong to want a man to do things, either around the house or for you or whatever. It’s not wrong to want ANYONE, ANY IDENTITY, to help you do something, whether that something is emotional or physical. But it IS WRONG for society to dictate that those are NECESSARY THINGS BECAUSE OF YOUR SOCIETY-IMPOSED GENDER. What YOU choose is what YOU choose. That is what feminism is, that is what humanism is – the ability to choose for yourself what feels best to you, with the caveat of “so long as it harm none.”

So yes, I feel female. My version of female, because I personally don’t feel nb, though who knows, that may change as I get older. And she plays video games, both violent and not. She not only gardens, but uses some damned fun and effective power gardening tools (seriously, y’all…alligator loppers are AMAZING – mini-gardening chainsaw that is brilliant for removing brush) AND landscapes with masonry, gravel, pavers, stones, and retaining walls and building raised beds. She cooks, she cares, she loves (even if it’s not returned or wanted), she fights, she protects. Even if her hands aren’t pretty or elegant, they are her mother’s hands – hands that can comfort; hands that can create life or if necessary, take it away to prevent suffering; hands that create as well as destroy. Even if she doesn’t matter, now or ever, in the grand scheme of things, she is fire, an element of change, destruction, and creation.

I was taught to hate everything about who I was from a very young age. I was trained to believe I was only worth something through the male lens…and I was never, ever, good enough. I just want people to NOT have to feel that, to not be taught that. I want people to be able to be who they are, whoever that is, without society telling them they are inherently wrong simply for existing. I know I don’t fit anywhere. I don’t fit mainstream. Hell, I don’t fit in the outliers. I’m not LGBT enough to fit there, either, as I have been pushed away from there on multiple occasions for not being enough.

But I don’t want that for others. I’m used to being alone and out the outside, but it’s a hard road to walk and live.

#personal rant #indoctrination #societal influences #fuck that noise #your gender is your gender #who you are is who you are #how about some healthy attributes that are good for everyone #how about that?#could we maybe start doing that a tiny bit more?#fuck society #i either need to watch it all burn #or go live as a hermit #or maybe i just won't wake up tomorrow and this will be pointless anyway

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obsidianarchives · 5 years

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Ajuan Mance

Ajuan Mance is a Professor of African American literature at Mills College. A lifelong artist and writer, she works in acrylic on paper and canvas, ink on paper and, for the 1001 Black Men project, ink on paper and digital collage. Ajuan's comics and zines include The Ancestors’ Juneteenth, A Blues for Black Santa, the Gender Studies comic book series, and 1001 Black Men, featuring images from the online portrait series of the same name. Ajuan has participated in solo and group exhibitions from the Bay Area to Brooklyn. Both her scholarly writings and her art explore the relationship between race, gender, and representation. Ajuan is partly inspired by her teaching and research in U.S. Black literature and history. Her most recent scholarly book, Before Harlem: An Anthology of African-American Literature from the Long Nineteenth Century, was published in 2016. Her art has appeared in a number of publications and media sites, including The Women’s Review of Books, Cog Magazine, The San Francisco Chronicle, The New York Times, Buzzfeed.com, BET.com, SFGate.com, and KPIX.com. Her comics have appeared in the Alphabet and We’re Still Here anthologies, from Stacked Deck Press and the upcoming Drawing Power anthology, from Abrams Press.

Black Girls Create: What do you create?

In my work as a Professor in the English Department at Mills College, I describe myself as a literary historian of the Black nineteenth century. This means I teach and write about U.S. Black writers of the 1800s.

In my work as an artist, I create comics, paintings, drawings, and illustrations that use humor and lots of bright colors to explore the complexity of race and gender in the 21st century.

BGC: Why do you create?

In all honesty, I create because it's what I've always done. Some of my earliest memories are memories of making art. I've often said that I've been an artist almost as long as I've been Black; and when you've been drawing and painting for that long, art simply becomes part of the way you experience and process your world. I don't think it's an exaggeration for me say that art helps me understand who I am.

BGC: Who is your audience?

There are two answers to this question. The first is that I create the art I want to see in the world, and I hope it resonates with other people. That said, while my art is really, truly for all audiences who find it compelling, I feel especially accountable to the people I depict in my work; and those are, for the most part, Black people and communities of color. In my comics and zines, I also depict the experiences of queer and trans folks of color, and I hope that these communities find my works relatable and reflective of some of their experiences.

BGC: Who or what inspired you to do what you do? Who or what continues to inspire you?

I take a lot of inspiration from people who are thriving in their art practice and who are creating work that I love. I try to learn from those who are doing some of the things I want to do. I am very much inspired by those artists who are doing interesting figurative work, as well as those who are using comics and other visual media to tell stories that center the experiences of people of color. Some living artists whose careers I actively follow are the visual artists Kerry James Marshall, Kara Walker, Iona Rozeal Brown, Paula Scher, and Mickalene Thomas. I am also very much inspired by the work of the comic creators John Jennings (co-creator of the graphic novel version of Octavia Butler's Kindred), Thi Bui, Jimmie Robinson (some of whose work is set in the Bay Area), Spike Trotman, and Jillian Tamaki. I could list a whole lot more, but I'll stop there.

By the same token I don't know if I'd call it inspiration, but I was very much motivated as a developing artist by the support of my mom and dad. Even as an elementary and middle school student, my parents took my art as seriously as I did. I grew up in the New York area, and they took me to museums where I could study the work of others. They also took me to buy my supplies at the same stores where art school students shopped. All of this helped me to think of myself as a professional, even at a very young age.

BGC: What inspired you to become an English professor?

As an undergraduate, I was very much focused on earning an MFA and becoming a professor of creative writing. One day, though, one of my former advisors, Suzanne Woods, pulled me aside to discuss my plans for graduate school. She encouraged me to apply to PhD programs in English and to become a literature professor. She even told me where to apply. I changed course (away from the MFA), and I've never looked back.

BGC: Is there a connection between your work as a professor and your work as an artist?

There is a definite connection between my academic work and my art. Both forms of work revolve around the experiences of people of African descent. Also, in some ways, I use art as a research tool. I use art to explore issues and questions about Black life, Black history, and Black futures. My research in early African American literature and history has taught me a lot about the depth and breadth of Black creative experience (literature, art, and activism), and this directly feeds and informs my art. This knowledge of our long history of using creative work as a tool of resistance, celebration, and exploration has strengthened my sense of entitlement to a public voice.

BGC: How do you balance creating with the rest of your life?

I prioritize my art and illustration work, in order to make sure it doesn't simply fall prey to the myriad other tasks demanding my attention. I think of the common financial advice that you should, "pay yourself first." Prioritizing art is my way of doing that — of prioritizing the art practice that sustains me and helps me navigate my world.

BGC: You recently completed your 1001 Black Men Project. What inspired you to create this and how did you decide who to sketch?

The 1001 Black Men Project was inspired by my concern that even those Black-owned media outlets that seek to celebrate Black men seem to depict only the narrowest vision of what Black manhood and masculinity can be. I wanted to try my hand at creating a body of portraits of Black men that was truly representative of the full diversity of Black men's experiences, aesthetics, classes, and identities. Initially, I started by drawing the men I noticed when I was out and about in the Bay Area. I drew the security guard at our local grocery store, the men I saw during my regular trips to the public library, the people seated near me during my annual trips to San Diego Comic Con. Then, around my 300th drawing, I started to use each century point (300 drawings, 400, 500, et cetera) as a check-in, to consider which constituencies I'd somehow left out, which groups of Black men seem to be over-represented, and why. Over time, I became more aware of my own biases and more intentional about depicting those Black male populations I'd somehow seemed to overlook.

BGC: Why is it important, as a Black woman, to create?

As Black women our lens on the present, the past, and the imagined future is critically important. Everyone benefits when a broader range of perspectives is represented, and the constellation of identities and experiences that shapes each of our lives as Black women gives every one of us a unique vision and creative imagination. In addition, art in any form — performing, visual, literary — can be a wonderfully sustaining and affirming practice, and Black women deserve to access every available avenue for affirmation, sustenance, and creativity.

BGC: Advice for young creators/ones just starting?

My advise for young creators is to commit yourself to your creative work. Do it every day, with little attention to what others might think. By the same token, pay attention to the work of others, learn from other artists, and allow their work to inspire you. Go to gallery shows, museums, and comic and zine fests. Be open to community and connection with other artists. Also, set goals and work toward them — a drawing each day, a finished comic, a collection of short stories, etc. Then celebrate with friends when you've reached that milestone. And celebrate yourself whenever you've created something new, something you like, or something that was hard for you.

BGC: Any future projects you’re working on?

I enjoy long-term projects that I can manage to sustain in 3-5 hours a day. I'm currently developing three projects. One is, Bay Area Heart and Soul: Black Artists in a Time of Change (with Filmmaker Pam Uzzell). I am creating a series of portraits of Bay Area Black artists (visual, performing, and literary), and I will be posting them on a website, in much the same way as I did with 1001 Black Men. The difference is that these portraits will also incorporate the words of the artists themselves. Pam Uzzell is creating short video interviews with roughly one in every 5 of the artists I'm drawing. Check All that Apply is a web-based comic strip about life as a Black nerd, and it's inspired by events in my own life. I'll be launching that project in early April. In addition, I'm working on a bi-monthly web comic about time travel. Stay tuned!

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