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crystalflygeo · 3 months

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The right moment ft Zhongli + fem!reader (modern!AU)

cw/tags: Discussions about first time/loss of virginity. Mentions oral/fingering/handjobs. A bit of pain. This is mostly just comfort tbh.

notes: REMEMBER EVERYONE!! It's okay to change your mind, it's okay to take your time and it's okay to say NO when it comes to sex, for any reason at any time, all of that is valid, and if your partner doesn't respect that or otherwise makes you feel bad for it drop them. (Ty @ainescribe and @silentmoths for beta'ing hehe. Also Happy year of the dragon btw!)

You were trembling in his arms. Zhongli embraced you, holding your body against his chest, peppering kisses along your neck and shoulders making you shiver on top of the sheets.

This was it, this was the moment.

You two had fumbled around enough, getting used to his touch, his kisses, his love. And a little burning flame had been born from that along with the flutter in your lovestruck heart. Zhongli was perfect: gentle, patient, smart, kind, handsome…

And you love him.

And you want him.

Which is why one day you gathered up courage, you picked a day where you were not at risk (according to your calendar at least?) made sure you had some ‘protection’ stashed away at your bedside table and said…

“Li, I’m ready.”

“Hm?” He turned to you from his spot on the couch and blinked.

You laced your hands nervously. “I… want to have sex with you. I’m ready.” You blurted out, blushing.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise, though he didn’t immediately say anything. “Are you sure, dear? What brought this on so suddenly?” He asked after a few moments.

“Quite sure.” You nodded, a little more confident, armed with your courage, your little preparations, and of course… excitement. “I just… think it’s time. I want to.”

It was… a little difficult not to be on edge as the moment approached.

Your first time. You’d gladly give it to Zhongli.

It’s not like you were completely new to sex, per se. Truth be told Zhongli had already been your ‘first’ on quite a few things. Your sexual experiences had gone from a bit of heavy petting over the clothes during make out sessions to him eating you out until you’re a whimpering mess or you giving him a few rare handjobs. You just had never… gone all the way.

Technically still a virgin.

But that was changing tonight. You were determined.

Zhongli was soft and reverent, an absolute gentleman as he lowered you on the bed, effortlessly sensual as his hands roamed your body like many other times before. Treating you with utmost gentleness, as if you were a bunny ready to sprint away at the first wrong move. He teased your chest and thighs, nipped softly at your skin and you answered with passionate kisses and heated touches, pulling him closer, letting out pleased hums. He made you come on those skilled fingers and tongue and your body melted, relaxing for him.

And now’s the time…

“You are so beautiful… I love you.” He murmurs the words, warm against your collarbone and you sigh, still panting a bit and recovering from your orgasm.

“Love you too, Li…”

You cup his face and pull him up to kiss his lips again, his strong arms leaning on either side of you. Like this, he’s hovering over you, his larger frame caging you radiating warmth and lust.

You feel his cock press against your hip and almost jolt. You don’t know why but suddenly you refuse to stare at it since, very soon, it was going to be inside you. It was a weird rush of worry, nervousness and giddy arousal.

You know for a fact he’s… big. You remember well the feeling of him on your hand, large and thick, and suddenly you begin to doubt whether or not you would be able to get that thing inside of you.

But you are determined.

He puts on a condom and squeezes some lube into his hand, spreading it evenly on his hard erection, your breath hitches.

He parts your legs and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest, wondering if he could sense it too. Your face is flushed, your thoughts and senses are a flurry of emotions.

“Are you ready? Relax…” He caresses your thigh.

You feel the tip of his cock poking at your entrance as he slowly guides himself and suddenly there is this weird uncomfortable pressure as he pushes inside. You gasp.

“Ah-!” You yelp in pain and whimper. It was… so big.

Zhongli groans. “Darling, relax… you’re so tight.” His brow furrows slightly in concentration as your pussy clamps down on him.

You whine and bite your lip, hips jolting. He presses a bit deeper and you feel… weirdly stretched out, like you’re going to tear. It hurts. You try to endure it, it’s supposed to hurt, right? It’ll get better. But it continues to hurt. You don’t like it. You panic. “W-wait- wait wait- stop!” You cry out.

Zhongli immediately pulls out and your legs clamp shut, as if shielding you, that weird sensation is still there, you feel… raw, tender.

Your eyes water.

“Dear, are you ok? Did I hurt you?” Zhongli asks, cupping your face, golden eyes searching for your own, assessing your expression.

You avert your gaze, rolling over onto your side. “I’m sorry…” You mumble.

He still tries to face you, worried, so worried, your Zhongli. “Whatever for…?”

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, bite your lip, a few tears fall onto the bed. Gods you feel so ridiculous and childish and stupid and- “I’m sorry… I was so sure, I thought- I… I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t want to… do this anymore- not now. I’m sorry.” You sob.

“There is nothing for you to apologize for. If anything, I am the one who’s sorry for hurting you, please forgive me, this is… not the experience I wanted you to have.” Zhongli sighs, displeased at seeing you like this.

You finally look up at him, puffy eyes peeking over your shoulder. “It’s not your fault, it’s me… I have this whole… idea, all these expectations. I wanted this to be perfect and I ruined it.”

He rubs slow circles at your back, soothing. “My dear, I don’t think intimacy is something that should be ruled by a standard in any capacity, nor should it be measured and compared, just as experiences and feelings aren’t. These things just flow naturally.”

“You’re not… upset?”

His expression turns serious. “Of course not. On the contrary, I am glad you voiced out your feelings and I’ll respect your boundaries.” He leans down and brushes some hair from your face before depositing a kiss on your cheek. “I want you to feel good, your comfort is of utmost importance. There’s no need to feel pressured.”

You sigh deeply, groan into the bedsheets and then sit up again, pouting at him. “Still, we got all… worked up for nothing. I-I mean I can still…” You gesture vaguely at his lap. “If you want?” You squeak.

Zhongli chuckles and tries to pass it off as a cough. Your face heats up. “No need to concern yourself with that, the arousal is ebbing away, it’ll go down on its own.”

“Oh.”

There is silence for a few moments.

“Do you want-”

“Would you like to-”

“Ah, go ahead.” You shake your head. He smiles.

“I was going to propose a bath.”

You hum. “That sounds lovely. And then maybe… some cuddling on the couch while we watch tv?”

“I would like nothing more.”

He kisses your forehead and heads to the bathroom and as you gingerly stand up, look around and think on how things turned out you think it’s fine.

The right moment will come. You already have the right person by your side.

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bloogers-boogers · 11 months

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Kyle Brofloski/Stan Marsh (Cartman fictional) (SP one-shot)

Hints of KyleBrofloski/ Eric Cartman and a little bit of Stanman~

Summary:

Cartman wrote a style fanfiction as the deranged shipper he is for showing tell.

Slight warning ⚠️ Eh, I really don't have much to warned, after all, this isn't a full on Kyman fanfiction it's just a habit by now whoops 🤷 I'm joking btw, there's nothing too explicit it's just Cartman being the little shit head he is.

~~~~~~~~

Mr Garrison cleared his throat as he gestured Clyde to take his seat again.

"You're next, Eric," he said with boredom as he layyed his eyes back on to the magazine he was reading.

Cartman dashed excitedly to the front giggling like some school gossip girl as he thumbs up towards Kenny who thumbs up back, making both his excluded friends arched a brow confused.

Everyone now focused on him, as he cleared his throat and gave firstly his introduction.

"Ehem, what I have in my hands is a written by yours truly boys love fanfiction," and with that a couple of girls gasped, interest peeking in even Wendy turned his way with a hint of curiosity as the boys just looked his way confused.

"This better not be some creek fanfiction or I'll break your teeth out," Craig blurted out annoyed already.

"Fuck you. This isn't about you Craig!" Mumbling a 'Jesus christ' before continuing.

"It's called: forever be mine."

The girls giggled and sighed already in love with the fic already.

"Oh god," he heard Kyle muster, rolling his eyes incredulous.

"My beta reader was Kenny Mccormick," he gestured Kenny who just waved enthusiastic gesturing him with a rush for he to continue, "it's style by the way girls."

The girls gasped glancing at both targeted boys before turning away, the boys looking confused and unaware, oblivious of what it means.

"Hurry up! The suspense is already killing me!" Bebe eagerly shouted.

"Alright geez, calm your tits," shaking his head incredulous as he flipped to the first page.

"It was morning, the cold weather hitting harder than usual while the sun rises. Stan Marsh; a athletic boy-"

"Hey! Wait that's me? What the fuc-" Stan spoke in disbelief.

But before the raven boy could protest the girls hushed him silent even his girlfriend glared at him for he to keep quiet, which he reluctantly did as he grumbled.

"-heroic, and a total jock. Head his way to the usual bus stop he and his friends had claimed as their own.

A point of town were memories had build up, a place people often resonated with their names in grave in that rusty old sign and sometimes snowy path, the ground somehow printed their steps as‐"

"It is not that deep, you were definitely trying to fill that up weren't you fatass."

'Shhh!' The girls hissed the redhead shut.

"- the boys semblance spread around just that spot.

Stan was a total softy when it came to familiarity; a nostalgic feeling that marked his heart and wasn't easy to die down from.

On the other hand, there was Kyle, Kyle Brofloski; a complete geek, hot tempered, fragile individual and his best friend.

Who he was madly in love with."

"Shut the fuck Cartman! What the fuck!?" Kyle slammed with a fist his table, ignoring the glares from all his girls classmates and Clyde.

"Mr Garrison, Kahal's interrupting me again!" Cartman protested already tired of being rudely interrupted.

"Kyle, please sit your ass down and let Eric finish his gay little fantasy book. You'll have your turn eventually."

Kyle gritted his teeth in boiling anger, reluctantly sitting down as he glared deadly at the brunette evil little douche who snickered his way before continuing were he had left off.

"It was before summer of that year when he realized he had caught feelings for his super best friend.

More like he realized quite late that these hidden feelings were already there, way before he could even grasp the idea of ever liking his friend in such way, repressing them since childhood.

Always being left confused and a fuzzy feeling in his stomach with every touch or brush Kyle did his way, it was inevitable to always feel nauseous around him, sweat pouring out from his hands as he was constantly nervous around him, worried to make himself look like a fool or a moron infront of him even while being one.

A complete wreck when he was around other dudes, jealousy arising as he looked at Kyle whose attention searched elsewhere that wasn't him."

"Wow, Eric's really a good writer," Butters whispered to Kenny, who nodded.

"Yeah, since his last creek fanfiction his writing has gotten so much better," the other blond complimented.

"However, his insecurities got the best of him, preventing him from making any moves or confessing his ongoing long lasting love for Kyle.

Kyle was perfect‐"

Kyle's frown lighten as he heard Cartman narrate his character, isolating the context of it all, only hearing his voice and the description of his fictional self.

"- in every aspect of his being. The type of perfect you'd be worried of feeling for another, so much unasked powered he held on to his weak beating heart.

His wild red curls rebelling to let loose under that worned out; washed green, unique and very familiar ushanka. A very important piece of fabric for his characterization. Everything on him was just like it's supposed to be.

Like it was meant to.

Those cold blue looking eyes that could glare holes on to you, digging through each layer of your skin reaching your guts and on to your soul. So far captivating it's hard to let loose around them, it was like being sucked in a hole.

A complete void with no end, a void he was willing to dive in with all intentions of ever going out."

"Wow," Clyde mustered softly, so deeply focused in the story as a couple of girl were left in awe and blushing faces.

"However, that wasn't the only thing that drawn him in a complete depths of focus, his lips for example being one of the countless features that left him breathless."

"Cartman this is the most gayest shit I've ever seen and heard from you in like the entirety sixteen years of our lives," Stan commented tirelessly as he placed his hand on his forehead trying his best to ease his annoyance.

Kyle was long gone indulged by Cartman's way of story telling and captivating writing. He must admit, Cartman was good. He was already hooked even being just the introduction of the 'characters'.

"Those pink candy looking lips drove him delirious, even if they we're dried up most of the time having small cuts on them, he should definitely use some chapstick, but hey? He's in love and doesn't care for his poor lack of care.

And somehow, it's still felt in character of him.

Just so in character as when he speaks against anyone who goes against his morals; normally Cartman his so called archrival, but that's far from the point.

He was fearless when it came to what was right, hot headed when he was stubborn and being proven wrong countless times.

There was so much of him he can't hold, so much depth in his person he's fallen to know he can't get tired of. Layers and layers to unfold and discovering so many new things of him that just adds to the piles of things he likes about him.

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle..

That cute smile leaves him drowsy, in a memorizing trance that makes him want to see that upward frown rise infinite times on a daily, he wished he could keep it like that forever even if he gets tired, sore and all cramped up for it.

Needless to say, I'm in love with Kyle Brofloski."

Kyle's heart skipped a beat and his heart begin beating loudly, feeling a small rush of heat in his cheeks.

Looking at Cartman so very focused on his reading, his expression seemed so calm and his eyelids were half opened in a dreamy manner.

"Now, speaking of such boy..

Kyle woke up that morning, late than usual and looking with panic at his clock. Forgetting to have set his alarm before six, he cursed himself internally rushing himself to the bathroom and doing whatever teens his age would do before school.

As he finished getting ready, he grabbed his backpack sprinting down stairs not even bothering to eat breakfast as he was found late. He said goodbye to his mother from the door before slamming it shut and heading straight to the bus stop.

As he arrived he visualized his three friends already standing and waiting with a bored tiring expression for the bus to pick them up.

He halted before walking slowly, keeping his cool as his eyes darted on to Stan; his best friend, trustful and loyal mate, his long-time crush.

His messy raven hair almost covering half his face, those eyes that adorned under with a black discolored shade by the countless sleepless nights binge playing online gaming with them, lacking energy as usual.

Sometimes he thought his friend was a mess, but a mess he could fix. Stan had many flaws, flaws that were understandable and fixable for the eye, but there was too many layers in his character.

There's was so much of Stan, a chronic pain and immense sadness in that brain an force smile of his-"

Stan eyes peeked instantly from under his arms as his ears now listened attentively.

"- aching for help, for someone to hold him and understand what he goes through.

Sometimes he wished he was that person, but he lacked skill in that department; being emotionally vulnerable and unable to really resonate with those feelings, how he felt in regard of it all.

However, he could make him feel like he wasn't alone, he was good for making distractions. Atleast he could ease his mind with other things than focusing on the negative right?

Still, Stan was all he needed to make him happy. A full of flaws individual who he was madly in love with. His imperfections made him stand out and yet, still so damn well fitting to be place in his heart.

The name of Stan Marsh was carved around everywhere in that blood pumping organ called: heart, and echoed in his brain endlessly.

Stan Marsh..

With those captivating blue eyes and that playful smile, with the cutest eye wrinkles he's ever seen.

And those crooked teeth with glimmering metallic braces surrounding them and a hint of blue as a personalized choice of his.

Oh how he wished to steal a kiss from him... unintentionally crashing his teeth with his braces and somehow laughing it off as goofy and affectionate.

Two dumbasses in love..

Oh so he wish they were..

He sighed, placing in his spot in between both his best friend and archrival, next and lastly was Kenny their chill so caring friend and important piece of their friendship; the one who hold on to the group as if it we're to be cherish and protected.

Even if their broship was a little messy and stumble with all intention to fall apart, it was still glued surprisingly strong.

Honestly surprised it has lasted this long.

He frowned already listening to Cartman's annoying nagging; something about Taylor Swift and some twitch streamer, he truly didn't care about.

Stan on the other hand, was fighting the urge to shake that twitching feeling in his hands. His protective and defensive instinct perking up as he saw Cartman taunting Kyle in their usual banter.

It was so ordinary for them, but that day, it just.. felt unnecessary.

He disliked seeing Kyle be belittle or being called names. And even if it were their bigoted dick of a friend with Kyle being so unfazed by the common ignorant comments and bashing, he couldn't help but feel bitter and angry at him; wanting to punch his face and tell him off as an ass, forbidding him by ever calling Kyle by any other name that isn't 'Kyle', telling him he isn't even allowed near his best friend.

But ofcourse he couldn't, there was always something preventing him from doing so, a barrier in between the space of him and Kyle."

Cartman continued reading the plot, it was the typical cliché drama/romance you'd see on anime, still, there were quite unexpected moments/sceneries here and there.

"Stan slammed him inside the janitor's room, closing the door shut. Their breathing hitting against each other as two panting animals, the room suffocating, ambient being warm and cozy.

Stan crashed their lips together in a desperate attempt to keep him shut.

"Shh, she won't find out," he hushed Kyle reassuring, as the other hissed by the stingy pain that was left in his gums being pushed the braces against them.

Kyle wrapped his arms around his neck, deepening the kiss even further.

Stan's hand were all over him, gripping his ass oh so slightly before pressing his crotch against Kyle's.

Kyle tugged his hair furiously unzipping his jacket trying to get a touch of Stan's bare skin.

But the door swung open and a silhouette covered them in a shadow.

It was Kenny; who looked at them in surprise as his was left speechless by the display of his two best friends flustered face full of embarrassment and somewhat shame for being caught in a intimate and secretive act.

Oh shit."

"And that waaaaas chapters 1 to 5, if you guys want any more updates you guys can always follow my wattpad account which is @ cArtmanbrah67!" He teased, now heading back to sit down, grinning with pride as he felt the deeply 'what happened next' stares on him.

Archieving his goal of pissing all his classmates off and still somehow get praise for it.

All unpleased for no concrete ending.

"W-what? What happened next? Did Kenny end up cheering them on or-" Clyde mustered disbelief.

"Fuck that, did Wendy ever found out that Stan was cheating on her!?" Red exclaimed in utterly shock.

"No, no, no dudes. What about that shit between Tolkien and Tweek what're those two hiding?" Craig chimed in just as offended.

"Oh please, Craig. It's obvious they're planning a surprise birthday party for you at Tolkiens," Bebe groaned annoyed, still sour she couldn't predict the ending.

"You guys are gonna give me writers block," Cartman grunted massaging the sides of his forehead before resting his head in his arms with boredom.

<<<< —————>>>>

The next day, it was Kyle's turn to present his own showing tell.

"For my showing tell project I've written-" he smirked smugly and glaringly at Cartman who arched his brow already knowing what he had planned next, "is a fanfiction of Butter x Cartman, I call it: an ass away."

Girls gasped enthusiastic as Stan snickered mischievous.

"My beta reader was Stan Marsh."

Cartman face reddened in embarrassment and anger, cussing out profanities at them.

#south park #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #sp one-shot #sp style #-ish?? sorta #kyman #-ish??#slight cartters/stanman #don't hate me for this but i really wanted an excuse for Cartman fanfic writer #Kenny thinks it's hilarious but at the same time he actually likes helping Cartman out with the fics #the fact i can't write a proper style fic without adding hints of kyman says alot on how shippers ruined this ship for me #i tried tho🤏🏼#sorry it's short #i couldn't think of anything else to add

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pinkydoggy83 · 1 year

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Puss in Boots was so much fun to watch. I ate up everything! Really enjoyed my time with it.

But now my mind can’t stop thinking that Puss most likely would die before Kitty and/or Perrito. :,)

BUT it was great to see Kitty again. I missed her so much <33

#talk #At least he fixed amends with Kitty in his last life :#🥲#Perrito is also a very good boy #Aaaannndd yeah Death was pretty cool character #cough cough #puss in boots #puss in boots movie #puss in boots spoilers #-ish??#kitty softpaws #perrito #pinkydoggy

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spectempt · 2 years

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my experience with being plural (?)

#weirdcore #oddcore #strangecore #vent #-ish??

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blitzy-blitzwing · 3 months

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Al: Our daughter. 😎

#he seems like he’d be a pest like that #hehehe #appleradio #radioapple #ish #Lucifer Morningstar #Alastor #Hazbin Hotel #my doodles

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cozylittleartblog · 2 months

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cant tell you how bad it feels to constantly tell other artists to come to tumblr, because its the last good website that isn't fucked up by spoonfeeding algorithms and AI bullshit and isn't based around meaningless likes

just to watch that all fall apart in the last year or so and especially the last two weeks

there's nowhere good to go anymore for artists.

edit - a lot of people are saying the tags are important so actually, you'll look at my tags.

#please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads#in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

#not art #but important #please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads #in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

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ato-dato · 7 months

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Go on, burst every one of his bubbles why don’t you

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alexseanchai · 10 months

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image embedded in tweet is a full bin labeled "Free Condoms, Be Safe Today!", with the aro flag on both the label and each of the condom packets, next to a full bin labeled "Free Water Balloons, Have Fun Today!", doing the same thing with the ace flag.

#queer pride #ace pride #aro pride #not safe for apple (ish)

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satanicdollx · 5 months

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they should invent friends that do not live so fucking far

#I'm less sad today but still sad #we're not even that far even from a European point of view like 400kms is okay-ish 🥹#it's just complicated in terms of public transportation and it's expensive #anyway gonna play DAO (bc BG3 is still bugged) and chill all day feel free to invade my asks #nyx.txt

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frodo-of-the-nine-fingers · 8 months

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oh sunk-cost fallacy we're really in it now

#⚰️#ish #mine

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scurviesdisneyblog · 4 months

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Early visual development for Wish (2023) by Griselda Sastrawinata-Lemay and Brittney Lee.

An earlier version of the film saw Star take on a human form as a magical, glowing character inspired by Peter Pan. Ultimately, the creative team reconceptualized Star as an ethereal, playful entity resembling Mickey Mouse. "Now Star and Asha have an emotional journey. They are soulmates." -Allison Moore.

#i would've loved to see star as a jack frost-ish character either as a love interest or platonic friend #they really had an original concept with the potential to be great if executed properly but chose to play it safe #disney #wish #my scans from the art of wish #do not repost #asha #star #visual development #disney concept art #concept art #art #artwork #illustration #disney animation #animation #disney wish #wish movie #wish 2023

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lxvvie · 25 days

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Couples Shit with Simon Riley (Part 2):

Having a giggle/chuckle fest almost every time you are intimate. It first happened at the beginning of your relationship when you would giggle every time you two kissed. It opened the floodgates, had let that nervous energy out, and Simon was right there chuckling with you. ("Heh—aw, fuck me.")

Swearing up and down that you're gonna fuck each other's brains out but as soon as you hit the bed, you and Simon are out like a light. The last time this happened, he was supposed to go down on you, but the next thing you know, you woke up to him fast asleep with his head on your stomach.

Kissing the bridge of his crooked nose and Simon turning into putty every time. Hell, kissing any and every dent, bruise, and scar, and making your man melt.

A nice round of horizontal tango turning into a cuddle session after you comforted Simon through a charley horse. Poor baby.

Initially making the telly watch you two make sex but turns out whatever you're watching was pretty decent after all so you guys are back to watching the telly again.

Getting hot and heavy one time but you were so intrigued with the mole you discovered on Simon's inner thigh that you spent the next half-hour or so trying to find other moles on his body.

Telling Simon that you "always wanted to do this" and when you get him hot, bothered, and hard, it turns out what you always wanted to do was measure him. His disappointment was immeasurable... even if he was interested to know the number.

Twinning in some way, shape, or fashion whenever you're out together.

Talking mad shit about his snoring but let him tell it, he doesn't say shit when you take up about 80% of the bed, covers, and sleep under him.

Speaking of talking shit, having disagreements like every couple does and when you go to bed, you're angrily cuddling each other. And yes, Simon still wants your kisses in the morning, even if you two are still mad at each other. Simon doesn't give a shit, you're still gonna love on him, dammit. And him on you.

Being mad with Simon when he arrived too late to get the creepy crawler that was harassing you. Harassing you by doing what it does best: be a creepy crawler. Simon tells you you'll have to conquer your fear one day. You tell him to conquer the couch tonight lmao.

Agreeing to disagree about the superior ice cream flavor in the house. It's too bad there's not any of his favorite ice cream in the freezer. There's some of yours, though. Why? You didn't get any because it was so superior that you wouldn't "dare sully it with your hands". Cue the judgemental stare and him eating YOUR ice cream afterward. Rude.

Scaring the ever-living shit out of Simon on the rare occasions he gets to sleep in. He woke up to you sitting up in bed with his mask and paint on. Oh, and he calls bullshit. He did not nearly fall out the bed. Nor did he jump. Okay, Simon.

Chilling and drinking with Simon. Finding out he gets hot and sweaty pretty easily and off comes his clothes. Waking up hungover the next morning and you're the big spoon to a naked and equally hungover Simon. Choosing to do fuck all but sleep it off that day.

Playfully calling or referring to him as the Missus, especially in front of your co-workers. When they finally meet Simon and ask him who he is, he replies in pure deadpan Ghost fashion: "The Missus".

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