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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for insisting my roommate not get me a Christmas present/WIBT if I insist even more?

🎁 so I can find this later!

TLDR WIBTA if I insist harder than I already have that my (unaware of being transphobic) roommate not get me a gift for Christmas, since my being autistic and nonbinary may complicate things?

Sorry for the long one, there's a lot of context going into this.

I (18X) am a college freshman and am rooming with a person I didn't know beforehand. Our rooming situation is weird, so neither of us had talked to each other at all before moving in. I'll call her S (18F).

S is a very big gift-giver; it's her love language. She's gotten me a couple things in the past and has wanted me to try things so she can see if they'd make for good gifts. The problem is, I'm more on the masc side of being nonbinary, as well as the fact that I have low-intensity ASD, so usually the stuff she would want to get me (skin care, makeup, etc) is never exactly my style (most notably, she wanted me to see how a skin cream felt and I ended up complaining a bit too much, embarrassingly, before realizing that it was rude and assuring her that I appreciated the gesture, which I think helped her feel a little bit better) (another add-on, she knows I'm nonbinary, but still refers to me as a girl and uses she/her for me, which is why she keeps wanting me to try feminine products. I've played it off as not caring because I'm low key a little scared of her lol (in the way that anxious people are scared of confident people))

Because of said confidence, she tends to dominate conversations, and I'm always happy to listen, as someone who doesn't talk much myself. Because of this, I know she loves plushies and has a history with them, so for Christmas a couple weeks ago I ordered her a plushie online and snuck it into our dorm for her to find, and she ended up loving it.

Thing is, as she told me this, she said she was going to get something once she went home for the break. Apparently it's going to be expensive, too, since she joked that she told her mom to prepare for an expensive purchase beforehand.

I insisted that she not get me the gift, and that I didn't need one, but she is incredibly stubborn about it and was set in her ways of getting me one.

This is very nice of her obviously, and I appreciate the gesture, but.. I genuinely don't like being given gifts. If it's a mutually-discussed thing before-hand, sure, but most of the time gifts are a no-go. I don't exactly like giving gifts and I dislike being given gifts even more. There's way too much unpredictability, and because of my ASD, whenever I get a gift I don't like, I end up complaining about it without thinking, before realizing it's rude and assuring the person that I really do appreciate it. I've tried working on this before, but it's something I can't help— it literally happens without me thinking. As well as that, I only really knew what she'd liked because I actively listened to her a lot and spent over two months using the information I had gathered on her to get her the perfect gift. I am awful about this, since I'm very bad at coming up with gifts for people and this process— taking multiple months just to figure out what to get her— is the best I can do. I'd much rather hang out with people and buy stuff for them on the town, like paying for a dinner or sweets or whatever. The only reason I went through all of this for her is because 1 I appreciate her trying to be nice to me despite the fact that I am literally the type of person she'd bully in high school, 2 it's Christmas, and 3 it feels like I'm repaying her for trying to buy me all this stuff

So her getting me this gift just.. wouldn't sit right with me. I'm terrified of her getting me something I won't like and complaining about it before I can even think because of my ASD, and it'd feel like a massive debt to repay that'd eat at me forever. Plus, despite trying her best to respect my identity, she.. doesn't really know how transphobic she is, and I'm worried she might get me something very cutesy feminine that'd either make me 1 act uncomfortable or 2 lie to her and reaffirm her beliefs that I'm just female-lite. So, this is where my problem lies. WIBTA if I insist harder for her to not get me a present, despite it being her love language?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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asherloki · 4 months

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The early present

Sherlock x reader

Fluff!

Part 1 of the Christmas story series. Part 2!

"oh" I said with utter disgust, "another article on you" I turned the page to my husband so he can see it too, yet he didn't, he was drowned in his microscope, "Sherlock Holmes was seen at Sussex the other day" I read "at night, what is he upto? does his wife know about it?" The media has always been a struggle since I was seen with Sherlock. I have read many headlines about me 'Mr Holmes walking with a common girl?', 'The detective liked someone who's rather dumb compared to him?' and those hurted me like hell, yet my man is there, always, to kiss my forehead and say, "their words shouldn't ever affect you".

I kept the newspaper aside and both him and I rolled our eyes, "next time tell them you're buying a house there, with bees" I said rather sternly.

He's always wanted a house and to keep bees after his retirement, and that's why he went there to look for a good place. I don't doubt my husband because the hezy picture of him here shows he's holding his phone camera to his face, and he was video calling me at that moment.

"they don't have to know everything and besides, they have no right to know about me buying a house or a mansion or even a hut" he replied not lifting his head from his beloved microscope.

"still" I said and out of the blue I felt a little... gloomy. Not really out of the blue, the articles are enough.

"what's wrong?" he asked this time, looking at me with concern.

"I trust you honey" I answered, "but these news... they upsets me".

He didn't say anything, just stared at me for a few seconds and then he inhaled a deep breath and said "how about we go Christmas shopping" he got up leaving the microscope and stuffs as it is putting off his dressing gown.

"like now?" I asked, mostly trying to tell him 'I am not neatly dressed, but he never cared.

"yes now, come on get up" he wore his coat and urged me to wear mine too. I wore my coat which basically covered my tshirt, and my pants were just fine.

We went out and walked aimlessly, I didn't ask him where are we going for shopping or anything, I like our sweet silence, both him and I aren't fond of much crowd, so we liked this late hours shopping, when only a few shops were open.

"what are we getting for Rosie?" he enquired, breaking the silence.

"colours? I saw some of her colors were almost done" I replied, her set of oil pastels needed an immediate alternative.

"okay let's get into this shop then" we got into a stationary shop, and started looking for the best colors. We searched every section for the biggest set of colours, Sherlock only prefers the best for Rosie.

After getting the bestest set of oil pastels we went to the counter. Standing in the small queue I looked outside, "snow" I whispered to Sherlock, it was snowing a bit outside. Sherlock indicated me that I can go and watch the snow fall, while he stands and buys it. So I did, I stood at the doorway, leaving enough space for people to come and go and watched the snow.

"well" my husband's voice was heard coming towards me, "looks like we may need an umbrella" as he stood beside me.

"hmmm, and we forgot to carry one" I said then turned to him, he smiled in return before giving me a paperbag with something heavy in it.

"for you" he said while handing it to me.

"what's this?" I took it and to my surprise he bought me the most beautiful and professional set of paint brushes and colors, "oh my love, this - oh gosh!" I knew not what to say, thanks would be an understatement, "you didn't have to spent so much on me".

He rolled his eyes at this, saying, "I think I'm your husband, so why can't I?" well he's right, "you were upset, paints will lift your mood".

He remembered it didn't he. I nodded, admiring the gifts, " my world is rather small Sherlock, so the articles hurts me".

"I know" he said, "you know better to believe the article anyway" he winked , he winked just like the time when we were dating.

"awww" we were startled at the sound, everyone from the store said "aww" together, we looked at them, confused.

"you two have to kiss" they said, looking up we realised we stood under a mistletoe. I stared at Sherlock with a smile and so did he,

"may I my wife?" he asked.

"absolutely my husband" with mutual agreement our lips found eachother's, I always get on ny toes to kiss my tall man, his hand cupped my face as we kissed for a minute while the small amount of people stared at us. After pulling away we smiled at them.

"let's get going?" I enquired.

"yes, otherwise we'll have to buy an umbrella too" he replied and we paced fast to our flat, with colors we got. 23rd December, winter and Christmas eve the next day, enough to make the world joyous.

#bbc sherlock #sherlock x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlock holmes x reader

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via-rant · 11 months

Text

Obrumbratio Scintillae

Chapter 1:

Nico hated his life. He wished he was never born. He didn't know where he was going but he didn't care. Everyone he loved was gone. Why even be born if everything is going to be taken away from you? If you have no one? It happened days ago and it was Christmas now. He watched people come and go with bags of decorations and treats and cards and gifts. It made him tear up thinking about celebrating with his mom and sister. But he held himself back and continued walking. His legs were tired after who knows how long and he sat behind a dumpster in an alleyway where there weren't as many people.

Where he could properly cry without anyone hearing. He needed his family. He got mad at one point and kicked the dumpster. And froze when he heard a "hey".

Then the top opened, and he got scared, pulling out his sword. Some other kid came out from inside, curly hair that was poorly cut, pointy ears like an elf, dark brown eyes that looked like they could start a fire, and skinny and smelly. He looked almost 9. Nico remembered the sword and put it away as quickly as he could.

"Are you a hallucination too?" The boy asked, and Nico raised a brow in confusion.

"What?"

"The sword. Disppearing out of nowhere. I was just seeing that wasn't I?" Nico silently cursed but thought about his question.

"Um... No. It was real." Nico said, and the kid hopped out of the trashcan and started walking to him. Nico backed away.

"What are you doing?" He asked, backing into the wall, and he placed a hand on his before retreating it back in shock.

"Jesus fuck you're freezing!" He yelled and Nico noticed how he was fine. He wore no actual jacket, just a hoodie and some jean shorts.

"Says you." He said and the kid looked down then shrugged.

"Touchè."

"Whatever. I don't have time for this." Nico said and started to walk away. The other looked hurt.

"Wait!" He yelled, following him. "You sure you don't want to stay with me? We don't know each other, but you're a runaway, right? Like me? We can get to know each other. If you're okay with it." Nico wasn't sure. He seemed like a nice enough kid. Sure, he's always tapping or playing with his hair as if he had a constant need to move, and he smelled like garbage, but Nico has smelled worse. Besides, he wasn't any different with the moving part. Not always for him but a lot. Besides, the kid was small. An easy target. Nico couldn't just leave him alone. He sighed.

"Alright. What's your name?" He asked and he smiled wide, reaching out a hand, obviously holding in his excitement.

"Leo! Leo Valdez." He said and Nico took his hand.

"Nico Di Angelo. Nice to meet you." Leo squealed and hopped on the balls of his feet before hugging him. Nico rolled his eyes but hugged back, both of them hiding tears.

They spent the rest of the day with Leo giving Nico some tips about the streets. About finding street money to save up, how to trick people, how to just go along with gangs by being the jester until there's a chance to escape to avoid being beat to a pulp by them.

They stole from stores during the day, running like mad men if they got caught even though it wasn't much. Except that one time when Nico filled his jacket pockets. That was a good day. They spent nights holding each other for warmth as they told things about themselves before falling asleep.

But they got colder every day. Leo noticed Nico holding back shivering sometimes. Nico shared his jacket sometimes, but Leo hated it because he knew Nico needed it a hell of a lot more. Today was so bad they had to look for shelter but couldn't find anywhere they weren't kicked out of. It was getting worse. Nico shook so bad his breathing was shortened, and he could barely walk.

Leo was scared shitless. He was cold but this was just three weeks later. Leo was desperate. He found enough sticks and started a fire. Luckily, Nico was completely out of it, so he didn't notice at all. But the fire didn't last long because of how small the sticks were. Leo pulled him into his lap for warmth as he shook, not knowing what else to do.

Fuck it. He thought and felt the tingling in his hand. He needed to save his best friend. He needed Nico. The fire prickled his fingers and he felt tears in his eyes as the memories flooded. Then he looked at Nico.

The only exception. He thought and lit it completely. Nico nuzzled his head in his shoulder. There was no telling how scared Leo was. What if it wasn't enough? What if it was and Nico leaves him behind? It started to be the first one. Leo felt tears in his eyes lighting his other hand on fire. Nico shivered and struggled to breathe, and Leo sobbed.

"Don't leave. Don't leave me, please don't leave." He begged quietly. "*Por favor, no te vayas, te necesito. No puedo hacer esto sin ti, por favor. (*Please don't leave, I need you. I can't do this without you, please.)" He cried. He didn't notice the man approaching.

Not until he touched his shoulder. Leo flinched and put the fire out in a panic before he realized and started it again, making the man flinch back. He wanted to say something to him but his mind was racing so much, he just cried harder in fear. Nico was dying, he was cold and hungry, and someone came and saw it. They saw him. What if they attacked him? Took Nico from him?

"Hey hey hey it's okay. It's okay. I don't want to hurt you. I just want to help you and your friend." He said, crouching to his level. Leo shook his head. Too much was happening. He wanted to trust him, but he knew nothing about this guy. He learned not to trust strangers two years ago, at 9.

"You're hysterical right now. I get it. Your friend is hurt and I'm a stranger."

"H-how will I know... you won't... call the..."

"I've been missing for a while. Look it up. Luke Castellan." Leo calmed himself down and looked at Nico. He didn't know what else to do. Nico was dying and someone was offering help. He reluctantly agreed, and Luke smiled. He pulled out a yellow square and gave it to him.

"It's called ambrosia. It'll help keep him alive until we get there." Luke said, and Leo made Nico eat it. When he swallowed, his breathing slowed down a bit, and he opened his eyes a little. Leo laughed in relief and hugged him before letting Luke take Nico in his arms. He tried standing, but his legs were weak. Luke held out an arm, and Leo rolled his eyes but let him carry him anyway, across from the shivering boy. Leo grabbed his hand to comfort both of them.

"It's okay. He'll help us." He reassured when Nico looked at him, hoping he was right. He didn't pay attention to where they were going, just made sure to keep Nico alive. And he was getting tired. He tried forcing himself to stay awake, but he was so tired. So... tired.

@moa-broke-me @yonemurishiroku @pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid @potatoman-taterdude @the-demigod-slytherclaw @im-always-lost-in-a-book @stillcarmine

#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heros of olympus #leo valdez #nico di angelo #valdangelo #luke castellan #obrumbratio scintillae

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mlwritersguild · 1 year

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5 Times Adrienette Attempted to Buy Each Other Christmas Presents (and One Time They Succeeded), by @galahadwilder

Based on a prompt submitted by @2manyfandoms2count: 5 times [pair/group of characters]* attempted to go Christmas shopping and the 1 time they gathered to exchange gifts *there can be as many or as few people involved, a pairing, the core 4, the miracuclass…

AO3; Post-Reaveal Pre-Relationship, Christmas Fic, 5+1 Things

Summary:

When Marinette and Adrien find out each other's identities just before Christmas, both of them are desperate to find the perfect present for their partner. But, off-balance, neither one of them is entirely... thinking straight.

Alya, Nino, Tikki, and Plagg are going to lose their minds.

---

Chapter 1: I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas

Marinette’s computer background has been updated a few times since she was fourteen. It started when Adrien retired from modeling: something felt wrong about using images that he’d hated, something inauthentic. Like she was violating him somehow. So she’d replaced all of the images of him with candids, photos of his genuine smiles, spending time with his friends, playing in the park, smiling at her .

She’d kept the hearts, of course.

She’s replaced the photos as they aged, as they got closer. As she’d started noticing stubble gracing his strong chin, as the baby fat had melted off his cheekbones, as he’d grown more and more comfortable with his genuine smile. She paid so much attention to his face, spent so much time staring at it… and somehow she’d never known.

She sits, curled up in her desk chair, knees hugged to her chest with shaking arms. She’s not sure she even remembers how to blink—her eyes are wide, hollow, and she feels like she’ll never be able to close them again.

“Isn’t this a good thing?” Tikki asks from her nest on Marinette’s spare pincushion. The Kwami is lying on her stomach like a schoolgirl at a sleepover, chin propped up on her little nubby paws, gazing into Marinette’s eyes with her own ocean blues. “You’ve been closer to him than you knew this whole time!”

Marinette wants to sob. A part of her realizes that Tikki’s right, that she’s known him better than she thought, but that part is drowned out by the part that’s suddenly aware of the gulf between them that she’d never even noticed. How could she have missed it? She’s spent so much time with both of them, so much time interacting and watching and observing. She’d even started to take note of how, despite their superficial differences, they were so similar on the inside. How could she have possibly missed that both of them were the same person?

She hadn’t wanted to know. Hadn’t wanted to acknowledge.

It’s a towering, overpowering sensation, knowing. Because knowing, knowing they’re the same person, puts so many things into perspective. Chat has shown her so many parts of Adrien that Adrien would rather hide. And Adrien has shown her so many hidden parts of Chat, as well. She can see it all now, his pain, his love, his hope, and it’s… very nearly too much.

So she’s not entirely sure why the first thing she says is, “I’m going to have to re-do so many presents. ”

---

Adrien never used his climbing wall before he met Plagg. There was never a point—his father had gotten it for him. Adrien had wanted to go out, get out of the house, and Father always said the problem with the outside world was people —Adrien had asked if he could go rock climbing, something that didn’t have to involve people, could be solitary. He’d expected his father to say no. He hadn’t expected to wake up one week later to contractors preparing to install a rock wall. It’s been an oppressive reminder of all the ways he’s kept trapped ever since.

Yet, ever since he became Chat Noir, he can’t sit still. He’s not sure how much of that is cat and how much of that is simply having the opportunity, to run, to jump, to climb, to move, to leave , that he never had before. In truth, it doesn’t matter, not entirely. When he’s feeling, really feeling, feeling so strong that the emotions burn and shine inside his bones, he can’t hold them all in one spot. He has to let them out, to spill them everywhere , lest he combust.

That’s why, right now, he’s halfway up his rock wall, his arms shaking with exertion and excitement as he reaches for the next handhold. He has no idea what emotion has grabbed into his heart and refused to let go, but it’s big , big and stretching , and he swears if humans could float like hot-air balloons he’d be a hundred feet above Paris right now.

“I knew it,” he gasps, grinning the rough plastic digs into his fingers. The grin is wide, almost painful, and he feels like he’ll never stop smiling again. “I knew it!”

Plagg flits up to a rock just out of his reach, flipping into it like a particularly bored leaf in autumn. “Proud of yourself?” the Kwami says, rolling vaguely onto his back like he’s sunbathing his tummy.

Adrien halts with his fingers just short of the cat god, letting the burn race through his arms, his thighs, his calves. “Proud?” he says, laughter bleeding into his voice. “Plagg, I’m ecstatic. ” He closes his eyes. “It’s her. ” And in that moment, everything’s so big , so bright , and he just… He lets go of the wall, spreads his arms wide, and with a pulse of his leg muscles, leaps backward.

For one, glorious moment, he’s in freefall, in midair, and his whole body feels exactly as light as his heart. He wishes he could stay like this forever, suspended in the air, suspended between one moment and the next, suspended with her .

He crashes hard onto his bed with a flop, the impact driving the breath from his lungs, but he doesn’t care—he’s too giddy. “It—it’s her ,” he chokes, still grinning like a loon. He rolls over, pressing a pillow to his face. “It’s her , it’s her , it’s her …”

“Which are you more excited about?” Plagg says, lighting on his nightstand and sitting down with his front paws between his back ones, more like a person than a cat. “That Pigtails is Ladybug, or that Ladybug is Marinette? ”

Adrien rolls onto his back, flinging the pillow into the air. “Who cares? ” he cries. “She’s her !” Which she and which her don’t matter—they’re both the same, they’re each other , they’re she ! The pillow drops into his outstretched hand, and he lets his arm fall back onto the mattress. “Oh, crackers, Plagg, it’s both of them… I… I wanted both, for so long, and now…” He wants to cry. He’d suspected, sure, over and over, but he’d always thought that was wishful thinking. Unlucky Adrien, no way on earth the two girls he’d fallen in love with could ever be the same, things like that—good things, lucky things, happy things—didn’t happen to him. And yet there she’d been, clear as day. And maybe she’d run, yeah, maybe she’d panicked, but—but he isn’t going to think about that. That’s just how she is, right? That’s…

Plagg gags. “Guardians, I knew you’d act like this…” he groans.

Adrien hugs the pillow to his chest, trying to press down on the beating of his heart, take control. She does not hate him. She doesn’t. She’s friends with Adrien, she’s friends with Chat. She was just scared. “It’s nearly Christmas,” he mumbles. “I need to get her a present.” He swallows. “No, wait.” He rolls onto his side, staring at the picture of Marinette he’s kept as his lock screen ever since he’d realized he was falling in love with her. “I need to get her… the perfect Christmas present.”

Plagg cackles. “Oh, this is going to go well.”

---

“Come on, pick up pick up pick up ,” Marinette breathes, pacing hard around her room, her feet sending scraps of cloth and loose thread skittering across the floor. Her heart is pounding in her ears, drowning out the ringing of the phone. She needs to talk to Alya. She needs to talk to Alya right now.

As soon as the line clicks, the words are spewing out of her like vomit. “Alya help me I need to figure out his presents!”

Alya laughs. “Slow down, girl!” she says. “Can’t understand a word.”

Marinette’s pulse is still thundering, her breath coming short and rapid under a chest that is way too tight. Her hands are shaking so bad she can barely hold her phone up to her ear. “I—I have to—have to—have to—his C-c- Christ mas present,” she manages, collapsing into her desk chair like a puppet with cut strings.

Alya is silent for a moment, and Marinette can almost hear what the other girl is thinking—Alya isn’t sure whether it’s safer to indulge Marinette and let her play this out, or stop her right now before she does something stupid.

“You have enough presents for the next fifty years,” Alya says, finally, obviously making her decision. “ Including this year. I remember a… pair of mittens?”

The mittens. The mittens . Marinette twists, curling into her chair. She’d been—she’d been so proud of those, the thread count, the softness. The color. But they’re not his color. They’re the color she thought he liked, but Adrien is Chat Noir and Chat Noir’s color preferences are very different from Adrien’s and…

“Not–not… not right, ” Marinette squeaks, hugging her knees close to her chest. “None— none of them are right!”

“...Oh, boy,” Alya groans. There’s a sound from the other end of the line like a thump , like she’d sat down hard. “What did he do now?”

She can hear the disbelief in Alya’s voice, like this is something small, something trivial, like this is just another panic attack, and it is , it is, it’s a panic attack obviously, but there’s so much more to it right now, so much, so much, she can’t tell Alya but she has to tell Alya and the words are spitting out of her before she has a chance to stop herself. “He—he, he’s, he’s—Chat. He’s Chat.”

“What?”

“Alya Adrien is Chat Noir.”

There is a moment where Alya says nothing, and Marinette briefly thinks she’s hung up. But then she hears a rush of breath on the other line, and… “You—you’re telling me he’s… you…” She can hear Alya’s fingers, maybe rubbing the bridge of her nose, maybe rubbing her temples. “...YOU DIDN’T THINK TO FREAKING LEAD WITH THAT? ”

Marinette’s skin feels like it’s on fire. Her breath is coming short and sharp, stabbing outward through her lungs into her chest. “Alya—”

Alya sighs. “Okay,” she says. “Okay okay okay. Hang on.” There’s a rustling in the background, probably Alya moving some papers around. “Let’s—wait. Okay. Adrien is Chat Noir.”

“Y-yuh.”

“You… finally revealed? You didn’t tell me you were—”

Marinette shakes her head with a whimper. “It—accident.”

“...Oh.” Alya sucks in a breath. “Okay. I know you’re freaking out right now, and trying to sublimate it under your concern for his Christmas present, but… look, Mari, this is, hands down, the best thing that’s ever happened to you. ”

Marinette opens her mouth to speak, but Alya gets there first. “And don’t you dare say that meeting me was better, because right now you are the luckiest woman in Paris. Okay? Can you just… appreciate that, for a minute?”

Marinette tries to speak, but all she manages is a long teakettle whistle from the back of her throat.

“Oh, crap, Mari, I—I’m sorry,” Alya says. “Everything—everything’s okay, okay? Nothing’s wrong. You’re fine.” She breathes in, loudly, then back out. “Breathe with me, okay?”

Marinette breathes in slowly, trying to match Alya’s pace. She feels her heartbeat slowing, her skin cooling. Her thoughts start to settle. “Okay,” she sighs. “I’m—I’m okay.”

“Okay,” Alya says. “I am going to freak out later over the fact that I now know Chat Noir’s identity , but right now I’m holding it together and I just—” She pauses. “The only two people you’ve ever fallen in love with? They’re the same boy.”

Marinette swallows. “I’ve—I mean, I’ve dated—”

“Luka doesn’t count, honey,” Alya says.

Marinette stays silent for a moment. “I—no. No, I guess not.”

“And Marinette?”

“...Yeah?”

“Neither does Kagami. Not for him, and not for you. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“...What?”

“Chat Noir has only ever claimed to be in love with two people . And Adrien has only ever claimed to be in love with one . Both of those people are you. Adrien is in love with you. ”

“...Oh,” Marinette whispers. Then the full meaning of what Alya has just told her strikes her full force. “ Oh. ”

---

“She’s probably panicking right now,” Adrien says, staring at his Ladybug action figure.

He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, on the side, one arm propped across his knee. He’d been so happy with the revelation that, for a moment, he’d completely forgotten how she must be feeling. And he knows her—knows her even better than he thought she did. He knows Ladybug inside and out, better than the back of his own hand, and Marinette—well, Marinette has always been transparent to him about everything (except for her feelings for him—those had been incomprehensible for most of their friendship). Both Ladybug and Marinette would be freaking out right now.

“I should be with her right now,” he mumbles.

“Nuh-uh,” Plagg says. “She’s on the phone with Alya right now. Right now, you’re the issue, so you need to give her some space. ”

“...Right,” Adrien says. “ I’m the stressor.” He leans down, his eyes boring into the plastic Ladybug’s. “Space.” It rankles—like being petted in the wrong direction. It’s his job to comfort her, to protect her, to keep her safe. What is he supposed to do if he’s the one she needs to be kept safe from?

Then he looks up at Plagg. “Wait,” he says. “On the phone with Alya?”

Plagg doesn’t grin, which is odd. His smile is soft, gentle. “You think this is my first Pigtails freakout?” he says. “She’s wielded me enough that I know a few things about her that you don’t.”

“Right,” Adrien says, turning over in bed. That shouldn’t hit so hard, like a spike through the gut, but just—the thought that even his own Kwami knows his Lady better than he does… it hurts. It hurts a lot , in a way he doesn’t want to think about.

“Adrien,” Plagg says. “You know who she is now.”

“Yeah,” Adrien says. It’s not enough, thought—there are still parts of her that he doesn’t know, still some parts of her that—

“Which means you can learn .”

“...Oh,” Adrien whispers. Then the full meaning of what Plagg has just told him strikes her full force. “ Oh. ”

“Now come on,” Plagg says. “Let’s get your girl a Christmas present.”

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doctorofmagic · 1 year

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Hi! I'm a big fan of your blog and thanks to you I fell in love with doomstrange ejjfjfjfkdkd. I recently watched the movie Grinch and for some weird reason I just kept on imagining Grinch as Doom and Stephen Strange as Cindy. The whole to tying to save somebody's broken heart and convincing everyone that he's a good person on the inside is just💞💗💞💗💞💗 And I also found a song called Be Nice To Me that fits them so well. It's sad that this ship is not that popular when it has so much potential! I also hope that the MCU will give them some juicy interactions. Anyways, love your blog and I wish you happy holidays!! 💖🎉

One of us, one of us, one of us!

wefjoerirueiofewio seriously tho, that's so kind of you!!

You're absolutely right to assume Victor would make a perfect Grinch because look, we even have this gem

(highly recommended reading from What The--?! #10. It's not canon but it's super sweet and fun!)

To be fair, I think the perfect person for the role of Cindy would be Doreen. She's been (pardon the pun) beating Victor's ass for a long time but she is nice to him from time to time and even gave a Christmas gift to him in person!

(from Season's Beatings #1)

But yes, Stephen has vouched for him more times than I can count 😭 he's one of his first apologists and I'm always down for it.

(From Infamous Iron Man #12)

About the song... Omg "You're a killer and I'm your best friend" lmaoooo it's them! Thank you for the rec, I really liked it!! Personally, my favorite Doomstrange song is Undisclosed Desires (it's literally them, I swear, even the Mephisto thing, the mask, the violence and anger aaaaa).

It really is sad that they're not popular but well, I may not be an artist but I always try to write content on them (even though I'm more obsessed with other fandoms atm). There was a time when I was hoping to see their interactions in the MCU in the hope that they'd become more popular, but these days I just dread how they will portray Victor, honestly. I mean, with Waldron??? What can we truly expect?

The only person I trust to write him is Ryan Coogler. He made an amazing job with Namor (and Killmonger). I'm pretty sure he'd nail Victor and wouldn't whitewash him. But if he is to be introduced in the FF movie, my hopes are not that high. I personally don't feel comfortable with shipping characters who were mischaracterized and/on whitewashed for that matter (what they did to Jake Lockley is criminal fr). Besides, Secret Wars will be adapted and uh, if that's the only interaction between them, we know it won't end well. But let's wait and see! Perhaps I will be able to drag more people to the 616 side of the ship 👀

Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope you have a wonderful time! Happy holidays and stay safe 💜✨

(writers are insaaaane for writing these two in this kind of relationship in which you don't know if they're really close or not but they feel comfortable around one another, like??? 😭 And the fact that they spent 45 days living under the same roof? That Stephen knows how to speak Latverian?? That they call each other by their first names? Sorry, I miss them so much, I'm starving for content *sobs in the distance*)

#how can the sorcerer supreme be of assistance?#ask #doctor strange #stephen strange #doctor doom #victor von doom #doomstrange #doreen green #squirrel girl #marvel comics

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eshbaal · 10 months

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T/W - Loss, Grief, Death There's no easy way to share the news I got yesterday, so that's why I state it plainly in the title and will state it just as plainly now.

My dear friend Markus Ekedahl, known here on tumblr as @lordsmaf, is dead.

He had stopped responding to me altogether on Discord about a week ago, which I naturally thought was odd since he and I have spoken practically at least once a day for the better part of a decade.

I tried to tell myself to not be silly and assume the worst. But still I wrote him every day and recieved no responses even when I said I was worried. So, yesterday, on my way home from another obligation, I started online sleuthing to find contact info on his family, and got ahold of his sister, who he has mentioned to me many times before.

She'd been wanting to get ahold of me, but was unsure how and well, she unfortunately confirmed my darkest fears.

From what she knows, it was sudden. Possibly a result of some underlying health issue. Nobody knows exactly what went on just yet.

I'm gutted, naturally. Markus and I knew eachother well. We were even on birthday and christmas gift basis even though we have only ever actually met a handful of times in real life.

He would have turned 35 on August 1st. I was pondering what I should get him "once he got back". I had practically started rehearsing how to tell him that I didn't care how long he was gone as long as he came back fine and well, in case he was sick or something.

I spent a good half hour looking at his icon hoping for a little red notification to pop up.

Frankly, I'd much rather be furious at him for some kind of sick joke than not have him here with me at all.

---

My thoughts keep going to content and media.

Brav and I shot the shit about media we both liked all the time, and he was as much of a #1 Fan and supporter of my content as he was a friend, always willing to take a look at my videos to try and spot errors before I uploaded them, and showing up for basically every stream I ever did, clipping anything remotely amusing from it. I always knew I was doing a good job if he was clipping up a storm on Twitch.

It was hard enough not seeing his name in chat a few days ago when I was unsure what had happened. It's going to be even harder now, even if I know he'd want me to keep having fun, even with the games I largely played because I knew he'd be amused to see how I reacted to them.

My last interaction with him was me telling him I was finally watching Caddyshack and finding it hilarious, and him responding "Oh yeah."

It probably seems silly that these are the things I worry about since in some way, they probably shouldn't matter. But at the same time, I really regret never getting around to watching some of his favorite stuff now - like JoJo, Gundam or Transformers.

I still plan to keep going on all of this when I can. Even finish the stuff I mostly did because I knew he'd enjoy it. I just need to be able to say it's for his sake without cracking first.

---

For those wondering, I did all the "right" steps almost immediately. I've visited my parents. I've told a few other friends. I've ugly sobbed, I've been angry at the injustice of losing friends at the way-too-early age of barely-34.

I've also had IRL friends who have dealt with their own losses this past year the phone, and one is coming to check on me tomorrow. I have several friends coming over for my own birthday next weekend, and I don't plan to cancel that.

Hell, I've even been able to laugh at other little silly things just a few hours after the bad news. Not that the sadness doesn't settle right back in shortly after.

But today is hard. Really hard. I keep swinging between pure lethargy and crying at random.

I just hope Markus knew that I loved him very much, somewhere between the avalanche of silly clips of terrible game and anime voice acting, the ridiculous tweets we'd both laugh at, or the cool little moments in comics we liked to share.

#rip #rest in peace

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milkhoney531 · 1 year

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Personal rant

I just realized something. Growing up, I never had my needs met. Most of my life, I never had a bed frame. The only reason I had one after starting kindergarten is because I bought one last year.

The only reason I had clothes that fit me was from old job uniforms, christmas gifts from outside the family, or buying them myself when I got a job. Fuck, I once had a principal buy me an entire outfit because she noticed I wore the same outfits every week.

I haven't been to a doctor since middle school. I don't have a primary care doctor. I had to pay for one of those health clinics after being unable to walk for two years without pain, I let it get so bad that I didn't try to get care until I couldn't stand for 4 hours without vomiting from the pain, and even then it was hell just getting a ride.

I still haven't learned to drive, gotten a state ID, or even been to the dentist since around 2nd grade. I had to beg my Aunt for money just so I can buy a toothbrush and other essentials tomorrow. Hell, she is paying for my drivers lessons on saturday.

I'm going to be 22 next month. I'm moving in July. I own very little, but everything I own right now, I bought. I learned how to sew, self taught, out of necessity. I learned how to fix things for the same reason. A skill none of my siblings have, so they turn to me for help.

Most of what I own is hsnd me down clothes that never fit, so I'm going to be going through them and giving them away. After I move, my aunt is taking me in to help me out with paying for college, I'll have to save up for a new mattress. My current one is a gand me up from my little brothers, who got brand new beds, mine was in a flood and is older than me. More than half if the springs are collapsed and every night I have 1-2 springs trying to stab me in the back.

I don't think this is normal. Why do my siblings always have new, fitting clothes and such? At first I thought it was because I kept helping out financially. But, then I kept thinking back. Even before I had a job or was helping out so much, their needs were always met. Why weren't mine?

I was always expected to just, figure it out. To provide for myself somehow. I mean, I managed, but I was just a kid. I was in kindergarten when I started babysitting my siblings. Literally woken up in the middle of the night to do so. It might have started before kindergarten.

I was always expected to be a parent to my siblings. Always. I would sneak home food from school when they were sick so they could eat. I would skip meals so they had more. I would sell what little I had to pay for food and bills. Hell, I managed to strike a deal with my last period teacher to leave school early in middle school so I could be home to take care if the pets, do chores, help my siblings with homework, and make dinner. Then when I finally went to college the first time, my mom got cancer so I dropped out and came home to help. I worked two jobs, one job had me come in for 10hr shifts every morning, the other for 5hr shifts every night. When it got worse I quit the less paying job and spent my afternoons tending to my mom and trying to keep everyone in one piece.

I've spent my entire life ignoring my needs and wants to make sure everyone else's were met. I wanted desperately for my siblings to have the childhood I never had. I don't want them to ever go through what I do. And I succeeded.

And I think my dad realised that even though I'm helpful and all with everything, he knows that if I stay living with him and my siblings, I'll never be able to get my needs met or become truly independent. So he's kicking me out to go live with my aunt so I can go back to college and save up enough to move out. As scary as it is, I'm thankful for that. But I can't help but worry about my siblings, despite knowing they're in good hands and that they are nearly adults.

It's going to be really weird. I know it'll be good for me, but I can't help but worry.

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pandesalmonster · 1 year

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i have a problem (it's kpop collecting)

Every day I wake up, I search up "wts ph loona" on twitter. Without fail. Every day. It's like an addiction. It's almost like window shopping.

I may be addicted to buying kpop stuff. This is a problem. This year I spent 40 usd on albums and photocards. Do you know how messed up that is. That is 1 month of my salary. I could buy a phone with that. That's 40 tricycle rides from my home to my workplace.

And for what, for pretty pieces of paper????

I was supposed to work on another project (which I will be paid for btw!) But the project is hard, requires lots of braincells..... online window shopping is so so so much easier.

A day ago I made my photocards wishlist. It's very nice to have all my PCs altogether, it helps curb some of the urge to buy pcs bc they do not fit into my "sparks collection". Thank god I'm just a sparks collector and not a bias, or (gasp!) a full set collector. That would be insanity.

Here is the wishlist. It looks nice. It also gives me a nice summary of how many cards I want. Right now the grand total is 94.

As much as it helps curb the urge to buy, seeing all my pcs here makes me more impatient. I want to see all of them now!!!!!!

And it's insane. because I got 3 cards yesterday. And I like them, that's why I bought them. But there are shinier cards right now. And I want those more. And I want them now! It's Insane.

Even more insane is that I set a budget of 300php per month. That's 6usd a month for kpop stuff. And there's cards in my wishlist that are on sale right now, but they're for 700php = 14usd! And I want to buy them! But I can have them printed you know? It's just that it will take 2 weeks to ship... just as long as if I'll order the official card. And maybe I don't want it by the time it arrives... So it's better to buy unofficial card prints. I just need to remind myself of that everyday.

So I searched for some reddit posts and youtube videos to help curb that urge to buy!

Why you tend to buy expensive pcs = the want to appear adult and successful

kpop fans's views on collecting unofficial photocards:

And some advice on how to set up a kpop budget:

So maybe I will do a financial planning spreadsheet today or tomorrow! And allot money first to necessities, savings, and then kpop stuff, so I can allocate a budget, make sure my needs are met while still buying stuff, and there's less guilt!

And this really insightful tip from someone who's moved away from buying idol merch:

In summary, these are the things I will keep in mind:

Allocate income first to savings, then necessities, then fun stuff. (Income = Savings + Expenses + Fun Stuff)

Unofficial PC collection is just as valid as an official pc collection! As long as you're not selling/pricing it as official pc, then collectors have no issue with you!

Step away from other fans to reduce fomo from other kpop collections.

I wanted to print half of the cards on my wishlist in one go this week or next week so that even if I search "wts ph loona" none of these cards will ever tempt me anymore. Hopefully by the end of January, I will be receiving those, along with the signed Flip That album I bought (which I really hope is a real signed one). And then I can quit this collecting phase, at least for 6 months.

And this week I'll make a finance spreadsheet just to do an initial allocation of my monthly salary.

My expected expenses:

House Construction

Transportation (to work)

Cellphone load (data/ text)

Bills (water/ cable)

Clothes

Medical (meds, consultation, lab tests)

Pet expenses (food, vaccine)

Subscriptions (YT premium)

Experiences (trying out food, premium coffee, movies)

Travel (when we go to the province)

Gifts (inaanak, Christmas gift)

My Savings

New House

Retirement?

Car

Travel/ Concert

#kpop collection #kpop low buy

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thisisjusticeformalinalxochitl · 1 year

Text

Timeline

CW for abuse, SA/rape, pregnancy loss, self-harm, suicide, alcohol use. Please look at "resources" tab for support resources.

February 2009 - Raped by only friend in new city 1 week after Valentine's day. I was 20 and a sophomore in college; he was a 26 year old Army veteran. ("You're only the second guy I've *slept with." "Oof, you don't even want to know what number you are for me.") Boyfriend ("Max"; 22 yo) at that time of about 2 years blamed me. When he came to visit one time, though, he tried to fight my rapist at my job. (Rapist worked with me.) *It was right after it happened, and I hadn't processed what had happened.

Spring/Summer 2009 - I stopped going to classes, started binge drinking. "I don't care what the drink tastes like lol I drink just to get wasted!" Calling out of work at least once a week. Fighting, breaking up, getting back together with "Max". Suicidal when drunk.

Fall/Winter 2009 - finally broke up with Max. Drinking continually getting worse. Showed up to morning shifts/work functions still drunk from the night before. Hung over every other day. Suicidality getting worse/daily. After break up with Max, started hooking up with my rapist. My thought process was "well, no one else wants me, and I'm used trash anyway. He obviously wants me since he raped me". I don't know how often I would go over to his place, but I do know I had to be intoxicated when we hooked up. There were nights I didn't remember how I got home. - November 2009: met "Samuel" through online dating site. Still hooking up with rapist. Max would visit even though we were broken up, and I'd hook up with him, too. I wanted to feel like I was worth something. - December 2009: finally broke it off with Max and rapist; started dating Samuel (who was active Army at that time; 23 yo). Samuel surprised me one weekend with a brand new flatscreen TV for Christmas, along with a coffee maker (???) and something else that I can't remember. Basically, extravagant gifts for someone you've only been dating a week.

Early 2010 - Relationship with Samuel was intense and I fell in love quickly. He even asked in passing how I would feel if he got me a ring. As a hopeless romantic who felt dirty and unloved, I was overwhelmed with excitement and hope. Slowly, he let me see his "passionate" side. I felt like complimented each other as we were both "fiery" and would fight like my parents. He had a darkness in him like I did, and he had a sweet side only I had the privilege to see (gag). He was jealous and would question my male friendships; he'd show remorse and explain how he has trust issues and he just loved me so much that he was afraid to lose me. I eventually removed my male friends from my contacts/Facebook because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. He got to keep his female friends because he knew them before he knew me and they had been an important part of his life when he was in "a dark place". I eventually started getting suspicious, and created a fake account on a hook-up website I saw he had an account with (he logged in with my laptop, signed out, but didn't clear the web history). I used it to see if he'd fall for my trap. A bit after I had forgotten to log out, so when HE went to log in, he was able to see that I was the fake profile. He showed up to my job with bloody/injured knuckles to return my key as he was "done with your bullshit". He told me "You should probably get your wall fixed". We spent at least 30 minutes fighting at my job's parking lot. I got home and saw he'd punched a hole in my apartment's wall. We fought again, for hours, and I didn't want to lose him because I'd gotten so dependent on him (I no longer had my own friends at this point). I thought I was doing an honorable thing and fighting for "us". He was so overcome by my unconditional love (eye roll), that he suddenly grabbed me, held me, and asked me to marry him. I said yes. This was March 2010.

Summer 2010 - After spending a couple months planning a dream wedding that would never come to fruition, I found out I was pregnant near the end of May 2010. I was over the moon. For context, most of my high school friends had already gotten married and started their families. My parents were very disappointed as I had yet to graduate college and was pregnant out of wedlock. Eventually, they accepted it, and my grandmother even advised me that the birth might be harder since I was having my first at an "older age". I was 21, about to turn 22. Samuel was excited to finally have a child he could raise (His ex-gf/baby mama had given birth to his child the year before but they both lived across the country). Our fights got worse. He would get drunk and call me names. I made the excuse that he only did that when he was drunk. During one of his drunken episodes, he called his "side chick" and she actually asked to talk to me, so I could calm him down. I thought she was just a friend, but felt icky just the same. Eventually the fights would get that bad even if he was sober. He got comfortable calling me out of my name. He'd play sorry and say he didn't want to lose me and the baby. I would forgive him. He'd buy me whatever I wanted or treat me to something special. Repeat. My sister graduated high school and moved in with me, as a way to escape our parents and to help me while I was pregnant and eventually with the baby (Samuel still lived on post in the barracks and had another year or so on his contract or whatever). At first, Samuel was happy I'd have someone to help me/keep an eye on me. As my sister got to know him and started witnessing our fights, she began to dislike him. Samuel sensed this and started to make small complaints about her. He gradually built up to open dislike, calling her a freeloader, lazy, etc and that I shouldn't be around that type of person. I began to see my sister as a threat to my relationship, and I was scared I'd end up a single mother. I began to resent her. - July 2010: first miscarriage

Fall/Winter 2010 - Married late 2010

2011: July - Samuel was honorably discharged from the Army on July 7. We finally moved in together full-time. Adopted 2 kittens from the shelter; they helped keep me from falling apart during the 1 year anniversary of my miscarriage.

Around the same time, Samuel enrolled part-time to my university, to take some basic classes until he figured out what he wanted to do now that he had been discharged. One was an online math course. He did a few of the quizzes and didn't do so well. He was visibly upset, and then he saw his points grade and thought that he was already failing. As I was explaining that his points score was out of the TOTAL points for all the assignments for the course, which had not been assigned yet, I saw he was shaking with anger. Suddenly he grabbed the top part of his laptop, and with the other hand punched through the screen. I froze when I saw how calm his face looked, but his eyes were wide with anger. I didn't know what to do. Before I knew it, my mouth was saying "what the hell, Sam?!". I remember him getting up slowly and then suddenly he was yelling and cussing. I stupidly tried to get him to calm down, but he didn't want to hear logic or reason. He wanted to soak in his anger and the apparent pleasure he got lashing out violently. I think I left him alone and went into the bedroom, leaving him to play one of our gaming consoles in the living room.

Late July/early August? - things got bad. I started getting the feeling that Samuel was talking to other women. There was a friend "Jennifer" who he was close with that he TOLD me was a previous romantic interest, but nothing serious developed, just a couple of dates. I was getting paranoid and jealous. I was taking a full load of summer classes, so I wasn't sure if it was the stress or if I was right.

One night, I was working on homework on the couch or my desk? And Samuel was sitting across the room at our dining table working on what I assumed was his own homework. I got up to give him some affection, hugging and kissing his forehead and whatnot, and I happened to look at his laptop (he bought a new one a few days after obliterating his other one). He was on Facebook...but not the one I recognized as his. It had a different profile picture and his nickname instead of his real name. I didn't say anything and acted like I hadn't noticed. I went back to my laptop and searched Facebook for the one with his nickname. Idk why, but I was hoping I was somehow wrong. I wasn't. He had two profiles: the one me, his friends, and family had and another one we didn't know existed.

My stomach churned, my chest felt tight, and my heart hurt. When I'm pissed or extremely offended/upset, my jaw does this weird tingle thing.

Early 2012

Summer 2012

Fall/Winter 2012

February 2013

Spring 2013

Summer/Fall 2013

Late 2013 through 2014 - ???? Trauma can affect your brain and memory to where you can actually lose chunks of time

2015

2016/early 2017 - ????

Fall/Winter 2017

Early 2018

Summer 2018 - divorced

Fall 2018-

Winter 2018 - Friend/old coworker died by suicide.

Early 2019

Winter 2019-late Spring 2020

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sentimentalmillennial · 2 years

Text

37th Birthday and anxiety attack in one day! Yay me!

It was my first. Anxiety attack, not birthday of course. It was real and had been brewing all day and finally I could not hold it in any more and lost control. I threw up in a sink, my chest was hurting from struggling to breathe and I could not stop crying. I was so disappointed with today, it hurt. That made me feel even worse when I realised it. Because how selfish and entitled am I to feel like this when people did not make me feel special on my birthday. Some people did but not the ones I really needed to.

Like my husband. He called 2 days ago saying " I just remembered it was your birthday on Tuesday, what do you want?". I know he's super busy at work and he can't spend much time thinking about me. But then he somehow has time to book flights and train tickets and look for a new toilet for our downstairs bathroom. But it's obviously different to thinking about your wife and children and maybe trying to make it a little bit special by asking the children to make me a card or even buying the cards for them. And reminding them to wish me happy birthday in the morning. Eh, never mind.

Children did not realise it was my birthday until I reminded them outside school that we were going out to dinner after school. I got a quick "Happy Birthday" from Daughter and nothing from Son.

I had a quick tea and catch up with a mum friend who always remembers about my birthday, brings a gift (this year it's a cute little olive tree) and makes an effort to ask how I am. That was nice.

Then I met two friends for brunch. Got flowers and gift money from one and a my favourite pedicure voucher from the other. That was nice too. But I could not shake the feeling of sadness that my kids did not remember. And that nobody reminded them.

Also, my MIL called. "Where are you? At the hairdressers?"

Me: "No, having brunch."

MIL: "Oh, OK, when is your birthday? Is it today or tomorrow? Or was it yesterday? Can you come over, I have a card for you."

Me: "It's today. You've known me for 15 years. Maybe it's time to write it down...?"

MIL: "I have it written down. I just never know whether it's 6th or the 8th."

Me: "Thanks"

Just this exchange stressed me out enough to call it a day but it was only 10:30 am.

Husband called around 12. Just a quick one. Asked if the kids remembered. Apparently he reminded them the night before. So it's clear. I'm such a bad mother, they don't care about me at all.

Got home around 1 pm and found a parcel with a gift from husband. John Lewis - next day delivery. Dyson air wrap. I always wanted one. Mentioned it once to husband around Christmas but asked him not to get it because we were already going on holiday in Barbados and that was a present for everyone in the family. It's nice that he remembered. Did not need to spend all that money though. I asked him for the new iPhone when it comes out and I would be fine with just that. He wanted for me to have something today. So he spent a fortune on a gift instead of getting me flowers. His love language is money and gifts. I get it. It's nice. Still felt shitty that kids did not do anything.

I tried to have a nap because I did not sleep well the night before. I muted the phone and was tired but too upset to sleep. I did my hair with Dyson instead.

Picked kids up from school like any day. Once again, no mention about my birthday. Asked them to change quickly and be ready to go out for dinner. "Do we have to go straight away? I'm tired" - from the Son. "OK, I will wear a dress because it's your birthday" - from Daughter.

Met our friends (B and P) and their children at the restaurant. B was with me at brunch and knew about the kids not doing anything. Apparently she asked her son to remind my two last night as well. So they knew. And did nothing. Crying emoji. B, being an amazing friend, got out for blank cards and sharpies and made all 4 kids sit down and create cards for me. They obliged which was sweet. But it did not shake the sadness and growing anxiety. I ordered comfort food only, lots of pasta and cheese. I also declared that I would be having a pudding. There was no need for that as B had also made a cake for me. Sponge with cream and berried. Very nice. Holding back tears was getting hard. I let a few out when P announced that he had paid for dinner because I always do so much for them and it was his pleasure. Heart emoji.

I was ready to go home and cry but had to stop at MIL's. Even kids were not too keen to see her and tried to complain about going there. I told them to stop it and they sensed I was not in a mood for discussion. I was given a card with some money in it and ordered to buy something nice. I will try but nothing looks nice on me these days.

I got home and went straight in my bathroom. Run a bath and got in it. It made me calm down for a while but as soon as I was out of the water, I felt the heaviness on my chest again. I lied down with my phone and answered some birthday messages on Facebook and WhatsApp. Son came in asking for more screen time. Noticed something because he asked if I was OK. I explained that I wasn't and that I wasn't feeling the love from them. He said sorry and was about to walk off. I sarcastically mentioned that a hug would be nice and I got one. Still did not feel better.

When the dog was getting restless, I got dressed and took her out. Really struggled to walk, breathing heavily with an overwhelmingly crushing feeling.

Walked inside and started giving dinner to the dog and cats. Kids noticed I wasn't right. Asked what was wrong but I asked them politely to leave me alone. Finished the job, went upstairs and as soon as I was in my bathroom, I broke down. I could not stop crying. It made me sick. My mouth was dry and I could not calm myself down for a good 10 minutes. Eventually, I improved enough to come out and sit on the bed. About 30 minutes later managed to go downstairs, put left over cake and pizza in the fridge, clear plates kids left out, get some water and turn the lights off.

I knew I had to do something so I remembered about this blog. I even wrote a good part before everything deleted itself and I had to start again. I feel calmer now but still very sad. Husband has not called since I thanked him for Dyson. He could at least ask how my day was. I had no-one I could call and tell how I felt. I really wanted Husband or B to call me. Or anyone to call and ask how I was so I could cry to them a little. It did not happen. So I'm crying here. Feeling sorry for myself. Wondering whether I should look for a therapist. I live in UK - it's not that common here.

#personal diary

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lovelytarou · 3 years

Text

you make me go uwu

pairing: midoriya izuku x reader

genre: fluff, angst

tags: inspired by the song uwu by chevy

a/n: i'm just projecting my izuku feels and me literally going soft whenever i see his chubby face in the manga ang going uwu over it, also i still have a christmas hangover so sorry if you don't celebrate that or not fond of it! hearts, reblogs & feedbacks are greatly appreciated 💗

midoriya izuku is a lot of things.

he's one of the best students at UA and was quite known to be a reckless person who never thinks twice about helping someone. his knack for breaking his bones was a testament to that fact.

he's no doubt going to be one of the best pro heroes out there soon, with a big heart, a kind soul, and a courageous spirit.

midoriya izuku is a lot of things and possessing such cute, squishable cheeks is one of them. or more likely, being cute is one of them.

this thought occured to you when he offered to help you in one of the classes you're having trouble with. being at such close proximity made you aware of just how green his eyes are and when the sunlight hits them just right, they look like beautiful gems. or how he always seem to mutter under his breath when he's thinking too hard, or how his right leg would unconsciously shift to you like he wanted to get closer.

but one of the things you noticed the most, is his cheeks while he puffs them out of frustration.

he's gonna give me a heart attack one of these days with how cute he is

incident #1

you were currently at the cafeteria, sitting at a table with the dekusquad (kaminari came up with it, izuku claimed their little group don't have a name) which consists of ochaco, shouto, tenya, and izuku.

everything is going well, the group had already bought their food and are now digging in after a collective, “itadakimasu!”

you just had the most fortunate opportunity to sit in front if izuku, of all people, who is too busy eating.

he paused for a moment to answer iida's question who's beside him and it made his cheeks bloated with the food inside.

you choked on your drink because you just felt your heart swell with how cute he looks. it almost reminded you of a hamster.

shouto who is sitting on your left, gave you a concerned look and offered you his water.

“are you okay, l/n-san?” his question made izuku turn to you both, you felt your cheeks heat up when he looked at you while looking like that.

“i-i'm fine, thanks.” you took the water from him and gulped it down to clear your throat, and cool your nerves.

“you should chew your food properly when eating or else you'll choke!” iida scolded, waving his hands in a chopping motion you all grew to be familiar with.

“s-sorry...” you can't help but scratch at your nape in embarrassment.

incident #2

“midoriya, you're up.” aizawa called one afternoon on another day of training.

the rest of class 1-a stood back while izuku stepped in front. this was another one of aizawa's endurance training and one of the challenges was to beat a bunch of the robots from the entrance exam once again. how he can call this endurance training, you don't know.

“SMAAAAASH!” you heard izuku yell, tearing through what was once a robot and turning it into scraps of metal.

he did this to the other robots and he landed on his feet with a very serious look that instead of making him look intimidating, it actually made him look more adorable.

“he's like an angry bunny–” you cut yourself off with a hand on your mouth as you laughed quietly, another flush blossoming on your cheeks.

“i know right?! look how cute he is, but he's scary when he shows how strong he is like that.” mina added, looking at izuku who's walking towards the both of you now.

you immediately composed yourself when his eyes landed on you.

“y/n! are you okay? your face is all red! are you sick? do you need to go to recovery girl? shall i take you to her? what if you're overheating?! it's so hot out and your hero costume's probably too heavy–” he began to ramble and you can only stare at him with wide eyes as he continued with his wild thoughts.

quickly dismissing him with a hand on his mouth as everyone started to look at the two of you, izuku stared down at it and felt flustered at how soft your hand felt on his lips.

he's practially kissing your palm, do you even register what you're doing to him?!

“shh! i'm fine! it's just...you're so–” you were about to tell him that he's just so damn cute but you were called by aizawa.

“uh, i gotta go! see ya later!” you scrambled away from him, heart beating fast inside your chest.

that was close.

incident #3

“hey, y/n? can i ask you a favor?” you looked up from your phone when izuku approached you on the dorm's common room.

worry is written all over his face as he fumbled with his fingers, thinking about you being too busy even though you're literally on your phone all day.

there he goes again.

before he can overthink more, you smiled at him warmly and stood up from your seat.

“sure, what's up?”

izuku gulped, “well, uh, i was thinking of a gift to give to someone but i, um, don't know if they'll like it? i kinda, um, need your opinion on it, if that's okay?”

he stared at you with big doe eyes and you can't help but swoon when he looks at you like that. of course, how can you say no to that face? he looks like he'd cry any moment if you denied him.

“alright! what gift did you get for this particular someone?” you teased, nudging his side.

he led the two of you to his room, which isn't the first time since it became a usual thing for the two of you to study together there or simply hang out and talk about your problems, about what you did that day, rambling about your favorite heroes...basically this has became your second room. and your's his.

“um, i got them this,” he opened his bedside drawer and pulled out a small box. inside it, he revealed a beautiful necklace with a letter D as a pendant.

“it's for ‘deku’ which sounds kind of cheesy since it's my hero name, but i just thought that if i gave it to them then that means i'm with them wherever they are,” he reached for something inside his shirt, showing you an identical looking necklace with a familiar letter on it.

you don't want to assume things, but whoever is this particular someone that izuku is going to give the necklace to, they sure are one lucky person. not only is he kind, thoughtful, caring, and not to mention cute, but they'd be lucky to have someone like izuku fall for them.

ignoring the sudden pang of hurt in your chest, you forced a smile on your mouth and cooed at him.

“aww, that is so cute, izu! i'm sure they would love that very much. i know i would! if they don't, you can just always give it to me,” you joked, laughing to mask your hurt.

“r-really? you think so?” when you nodded in response, izuku heaved a big sigh of relief, “well, i trust you, y/n. i'm sure they would love this.”

after that, you excused yourself out of his room and proceeded to go to yours. sleep didn't come to you easily that night, thinking about the special someone that izuku was talking about and how much it would hurt once you saw them together.

over the years you spent being his friend, you never thought you would harbor such deep, intense feelings for the green-haired boy. you don't doubt he has great things ahead of him, and because of that, you started to like him for how strong he is and how he continues to be a better hero, and an overall a great person. that awe soon turn to adoration. and before you knew it, you're falling hard for izuku.

last incident

it's christmas, and the day before, aizawa had made all of you draw lots for your secret santas. your heart stopped when you saw izuku's name on the paper you pulled from the bowl.

you didn't think too much of it and decided to give him something all might-related and called it a day, still a little sour over izuku falling for someone else.

when the dreaded day came, everybody was so chaotic and high on their holiday spirits. even bakugou, which they convinced to wear a santa hat and haul the gifts in a bag. although, he still had a big scowl on his face and basically threw the gifts to their designated owners.

“shitty hair!” bakugou barked, pulling out a gift from the bag. kirishima hopped over to where bakugou was sitting and accepted the gift with a big smile on his face.

“whoa, bakugou! you're my secret santa?!” he asked in shock, eyes shining.

“it does says my name there, doesn't it, idiot? now hurry up and open your gift already,” kirishima did just that and bursted into tears when his gift was a crimson riot themed crocs. he thanked bakugou over and over while the latter hid his smile poorly with a cough.

“whatever. dunce face! you're next!” he practically threw kaminari's gift to him which the boy almost failed to catch, earning him a snigger from the explosive boy.

“man, why do you gotta be the santa for christmas? you're cruel!” kaminari pouted, turning around to go back to where he was squished in between sero and mineta.

“you got a problem with that, dunce face?!” he growled, his palms crackling with his quirk. kirishima tried to diffuse his anger.

when everything is calm, bakugou proceeded to dig into the bag for gifts.

“here, you shitty nerd.” he tossed your gift to izuku, you almost yelped a ‘be careful!’ but izuku had great reflexes and caught your gift swiftly. his eyes widened when he read who his secret santa was. your eyes met each other but was abruptly cut off when bakugou called your name.

“y/n! here's yours,” he was oddly calm when handing you your gift, albeit a little bored.

that received a lot of complaints from your other classmates and you can only shake your head while chuckling at their antics.

deciding to get some time for yourself, you went to the balcony for some air and sat down on one of the steps at the entrance.

placing the gift on your lap, you read the tag attached to it. it was wrapped in a simple green wrapper with red ribbon that finished the look.

to: y/n

happy holidays!

from: D

the name made you curious and even if you hated yourself for it, lit a sparkle of hope inside yourself. what if it was him who gave you the gift?

you had no time to dwell much on the thought and opened the gift instead. your breath hitched in your throat as you recognized the familiar box. lifting the lid with shaky hands, you felt your eyes sting as you looked down at your gift.

it was the necklace that izuku showed you before. you were such an idiot for thinking it was for someone special and did not think it was for the secret santa.

you carefully lifted it in your fingers and the light from the inside catched the D attached to it. it was beautiful. izuku's words echoed inside your head.

“i just thought that if i gave it to them then that means i'm with them wherever they are,”

“did you...not like it?” the boy in question appeared beside you and upon noticing your tears on your face, he immediately thought it gave a negative effect.

gasping, you quickly wiped away your tears and shook your head wildly at him.

“izu, no! i-i love it! actually, it's kinda funny...”

“funny?” he tilted his head in confusion, concern still etched onto his face.

“i was sad that you care a lot about someone else to give them this wonderful gift. i didn't realize that you would give something like this...to me,” you laughed through your tears, sniffling a bit.

“why would you think that?” his voice is so soft and genuinely confused that you can't help but feel your heart beat even more, and fall for him harder than you should.

“because,” you think of a way to word your feelings better but instead what came out was, “you're you and i'm...me,”

it was stupid, but with the overflowing emotions you're feeling right now, it's hard to voice your emotions.

izuku huffed, his cheeks puffing up once again because of the action.

“what do you mean by that? i mean, you're the most amazing person i've ever met! and you're always there for me when i'm sad, and happy and-and...whenever i'm with you, i always feel this...this...warmth! it's like, when you come home after a long day and you just felt safe and comforted. or-or when my mom cooks my favorite food it just makes me feel fuzzy inside! it's like when i watch my favorite video of all might over and over again and i never get tired of it,” he sighed after his long speech, eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he stared at you with determination.

“what i'm getting at is...i care a lot about you, y/n.” he let out in one breath. he stared up at you with big eyes, those damn eyes that never failed to make your heart jump and stomach do flips.

chuckling at yourself, you raised both of your hands and squeezed his cheeks with all your might making him yelp in pain.

“ow! y/n...” he whined.

“sorry, sorry! i've always wanted to do that!” you snorted.

“i care a lot about you, too, izu–” he suddenly kissed the corner of your mouth, making you shut up in shock. he had a smirk on his lips, amused by your reaction.

“i've always wanted to do that,” he threw your words back at you. feeling your whole face heat up, you turned your back towards him and held out your hand holding the necklace.

“whatever! just help me put this on, will you?” you felt his hands take the necklace from your grasp. you shivered when you felt the cold metal touch your skin but it was quickly replaced by his warm hands.

“there.” he mumbled, voice far too close to your ear. before you can thank him, you felt his lips brush your nape where the lock was and squealed from the contact.

the idiot only laughed at this and ushered you to stand up, helping you to your feet.

“let's go back inside, i heard they prepared a lot of food today.”

without thinking, izuku grabbed your hand and led you inside the dorm. you could only let him drag you as you stared at your joined hands, playing with the necklace hanging on your neck before staring back up at izuku who's smiling at you.

he's the best gift that you could ever ask for.

#💫.izuku midoriya #bnha fanfiction #bnha fluff #bnha izuku #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya x y/n #izuku midoriya #my hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia #tarou writes 🌹

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sternbilder · 2 years

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ugh bitching about this here bc I need to rant but I just feel petty bothering anyone about it in particular

so my mom has this friend T who she's apparently very close with, I don't know her that well bc I don't think they met or were good friends until after I moved out for college

T gave my mom a very, very thought gift this Christmas by arranging a photoshoot for our family to get professional family portraits taken for the first time (I'm not sure what T does for a living but it seemed like this was through a work connection of hers)

aside from being just like, an extremely generous gift, this meant a lot to my mom because this is something we could never afford growing up, and things like photos and family have a lot of sentimental value to her, so of course I went along with it without complaining even though tbh it wasn't something I was personally super excited about

T also was personally involved in editing and getting the photos processed, and on top of that, T's husband F, who is a hobbyist woodworker, went out of his way to make these gorgeous handmade wooden picture frames for the MANY, VERY HUGE prints they had printed for us, which I imagine took a significant amount of time, talent, and money! like, I cannot stress how incredibly thoughtful and generous of a gift this is!

however!

I was talking to my mom the other day over video chat and she showed me the photos and of course she was gushing over them and I was so happy for her because I know how much this means to her but then she also? asked suggested told me to please send T and F a card and gift card (out of my own pocket) to thank them for their time and labor which like.....honestly I didn't know how to respond to?

I wasn't in the mood to fight with her and it's not like it's something I can't afford technically so I did it but like......am I crazy to be kind of annoyed about this? am I just being an ungrateful bitch with no manners? in my defense:

1. I don't even know T that well. I've never even met F?

2. the photos and frames were for my mom, not me? maybe she'll share digital copies with me at some point and I guess by definition it was a gift to our entire family but. the physical prints are all hers, they're at her house, and tbh, I don't even particularly want them

3. I'm not sure what the cost of the labor and materials were going into this gift and I'm sure it's a fair amount to give as compensation for it but the amount my mother demanded suggested was uh. not an insignificant amount

4. and as a thank you for a gift??? which wasn't even for me???? that I never asked for???????? FROM SOMEONE I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT WELL?????????

5. she is also sending them a thank you gift herself (I already suggested that I chip in for something that she can send from the both of us but she insisted that I send something separately) but I would bet dollars to doughnuts that she did not ask my brother, who was also there and had his photos taken and makes almost as much money as I do, or my father (lol), to do anything like this, which I feel like I don't have to explain why that would be

like it just puts a bad taste in my mouth for so many reasons, the most innocent explanation I can think of is that she's just overestimating how generous I'm willing to be with my money bc admittedly I do make enough that this isn't going to really matter and in the past I have spent a lot on my gifts to her and dad bc I can afford it now and want them to have nice things but like??? it's really hard to be asked to shell out hundreds of dollars in thank-you gifts for someone I don't know for something I don't benefit from at all and not think I'm being forced to be part of some like. weird social flex????

so anyway I'm annoyed lmao,

#cam thoughts

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carrottuan93 · 3 years

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Haven’t met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (1/4) | part2 - part3 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 2631

Foreword: You promise yourself you’re going to wait for the perfect love even if it takes forever but you’re already barging on it’s doorstep without even realizing that love has met you already in the first place.

It’s all about timing and seeking reassurance in all the right places.

It’s a chance you never want to miss and an opportunity that you wouldn’t trade for anything.

Learn to take risks and learn to fall in love along the way. Cause true love is patient and it’ll come when you least expect it.

Have you been good all year round? You never know what Santa has in stored for you this Christmas.

[Feel free to listen on the playlist that I made for this one shot :)))]

"Eunhee, I should probably take a break from your endless blind date setups. Nothing is working out for me, seriously." You heaved a sigh, slouching on the couch as you gave your best friend an exasperated look the moment you entered her humble bookshop. She's too excited for your love life ever since she and her long-time university crush Jackson became an official couple on your birthday when you celebrated it on Jeju last year. It was a really cold New Year’s Eve when you chose to reserve this romantic restaurant by the beach as the venue for your special day. Eunhee doesn't have any idea about Jackson's plan when you booked a flight to Jeju Island for a week despite the busy season. Since you wanted to play the fairy godmother role for the both of them, you saved Jackson from worrying and suggested that he'd do it on your birthday instead. And just like that, they spent the New Year countdown melting into each other’s puddle while greeting you a happy birthday. The things you do for your friend, if that ain’t salty for your part (it is, for being the third wheel), automatically elected you as the sole Queen of singles club after Neun’s grand exit.

Since their anniversary is just around the corner, they are planning to spend it once again on Jeju and Eunhee, for being the supportive sister from another mother that she is, will surely drag you with them at all costs since it has been your tradition to celebrate New Year’s Eve with your best friend. She is dying to set you up with someone so you won't be celebrating your birthday alone anymore.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought you and my friend Hae In will work out. What happened by the way? tell me about your date." She sat beside your spot after closing the shop and did the honor of pouring you a glass of your favorite merlot. This girl knows how to calm you down for sure. I mean she isn't your best friend if she have no idea that wine is your comfort drink. For whatever reason it is, you don't know why it helps to lessen your loneliness by drinking the night away. Maybe knocking you down into a deep slumber and finding yourself completely clueless the next day, alongside the horrible hangover can patch up the painful truth that you are still single up to this point of your life. In addition to the earthly and God-sent smell of neatly piled books crowding the interior of her paradise, Eunhee's bookshop is your go-to place at all times. You used to frequent this a lot during your childhood days where you first met her and together you shared the same passion and love for books and wine through all these years.

"He's too overrated for my type. Like I don't know why we need to talk about all of his exes and why his relationship with them didn't work out when we can sit and be comfortable with just talking about our interests, 'us' the present and not his past. He's a perfectionist per se and I don't like it when a guy shows disinterest whenever I told them about myself as some nerdy bookish girl who craves for a netflix kind of night compared to his ideal dream girl-next-door whom you can freely bring to a club the minute next." You look down on the red liquid in your glass, appreciating its refined and classic smell that is clouding your nostrils. You're way too excited to go home so you can finally sink on your newly changed bed sheets and savor the enticing smell of fabric conditioner which you cannot live without. You glanced outside the window, observing the couples walking together under the falling snow, as if Valentines day has come all of a sudden in the middle of December. Red roses are a popular gift for the ladies as you've observed and you cannot help yourself from wondering if someone will ever give you flowers on Christmas, particularly pink roses, which you really admire. You always dreamt of tending a bed of pink roses only for yourself because the sight of it makes you really happy. It's just unfortunate that they aren't in full bloom during this season that's why you can only wait for February to come so you could save the trouble of finding a lame date and just buy yourself a bouquet for Valentines. You can give yourself flowers and still feel like in a relationship with all the fictional characters on your novels. No one is stopping you from dating them in your mind, you thought.

“Ugh I can’t believe that guy. I thought he’s a good catch but actually a bummer for real. Don’t worry, I’ll choose better next time." She gave you a warm hug, patting your head as you lay your cheek on her shoulder. She released you and you gave her an 'I'm-okay-don't-worry' kind of smile. And you sat there for almost an hour talking about your other failed blind dates in the past week that all belongs in either Jackson or Eunhee's circle. You have no idea why none of them matched your personality. Either they are too wild or too boring for them to function as your potential boyfriend. No one could really captivate your specific taste in a guy. It's not that you are too picky and have a high standard when it comes to scouting a lover. You just have your own preferences when it comes to choosing someone whom you'll devote your precious time into. No relationship is perfect because everything is built out of flaws, misunderstandings, heartaches and drama but if you'll enter in a commitment at least choose someone who's worthy of that pain. You aren’t getting any younger and all you need right now is someone reliable, honest and trustworthy enough to not waste your feelings and emotion. You need a serious guy who will not take you for granted and who welcomes the idea of settling in the near future. At least someone with a nice job? Or a bearable attitude, outlook and philosophy in life? He doesn't need to be the most handsome or richest guy in the planet. After all, you always talk to God about giving you with someone who will really love all your imperfections and flawed nature. You always pray to the heavens above that maybe he'll cross the mountains and bring you the moon and the stars like they always did on the movies and in stories but you're fed with too much fantasy and began to think that maybe the guy for you was rather inexistent or an alien inhabiting a distant galaxy located in a million light years away.

"A break is all I need after all. I will be fine tomorrow at Christmas eve. Don't worry about me having a date on our dinner. I'll bring some macarons as an antidote for all things bitter for you and Jackson's couple party." It's your best friend’s first Christmas with her boyfriend that's why they are throwing a mini gathering for their family and close friends. You had this feeling that you will be the only one attending the party without a date so might as well go straight to the kitchen and grab a bottle of whatever wine you can get and spend the evening dancing on tipsy toes and the floor would be very much pleased to accommodate your drunken needs. But you will not gonna end up wasted on a party especially Eunhee will not be there beside you to take you home since you do not want to rob Jackson of his time with her. Their happiness always matters before you and that's what makes you happy, to see your best friend happy with the man that he really deserves.

"All right sweetcheeks. We'll not let you feel gloomy on Christmas eve. Good girls get a reward from Santa so you have nothing to worry about." She gave you a wink and clanked your glasses in unison as you both emptied the bottle of wine to your heart's content. You both agreed to watch a romantic holiday movie over a shared furry blanket and hear out your friend as she talked to you mostly of his boyfriend, as if you’ve read a book about the guide to 101 ways on how to fall for Jackson. Maybe the love bug bit too hard on your friend now that she really has the man of her dreams right on her fingertips, she can’t ask for anything else. Their love story is too underrated and you’re one of the living witnesses that a coin is never wasted on a wishing well. If you only joined Eunhee on her wishing spree every time you both pass by your University’s fountain of love, your coin bank would have gone empty by now. But you didn’t do it and saved all of your coins for yourself cause you really enjoy playing basketball in the arcades for fun. For all you can remember way back in college days, your friend is just one of the many timid girls who are cheering and admiring the ever-famous fencing athlete, business student and heartthrob, Jackson. You have classes together with him and that is how your job as a love guru began. You really deserve a raise because you did succeed on making them a couple. You could set up a dating agency and earn better than your current job for all you care. But amidst all the love advice that you gave to them, you’re the complete opposite of a matchmaker. Because love never finds your way despite making love work for the others. Love is sweet but a bitch most of the time.

If love finally came to Eunhee and Jackson, hopefully yours would come in a whirlpool, sweeping you off of your feet and rendering all the other love stories made in the history irrelevant. You love spontaneity and you’re up for the extraordinary. In fact, you already made a dozen of playlists on spotify and counting, awaiting to be dedicated to him. You may have weird habits, like using ketchup as a dip for your honey glazed donuts, and still act straight and sit the whole day finishing a book with your favorite espresso at coffee shops. You love taking midnight trips to the art museum and you wonder if he can appreciate the abstract the way it makes your soul come alive. You love travelling back to time and studying history and it would be a bonus if he’ll join you on the 3% mint choco enthusiasts in the whole world. And your list goes on and on and it’ll take a lifetime to introduce yourself to someone but you want to meet him soon. You can’t wait for that time to annoy the hell out of him and if he still chooses to come back after your endless nagging, that’s the time when you’re not gonna let go of him anymore. You know for yourself, you’re looking for an almost perfect individual but you’re ready to tear up your never ending list of your ideal guy if someone could really surprise you and made you want to look at the world in a different dimension. After all, an ideal can never be achieved in real life. You cannot make someone ‘the one’ but you can only search for someone and make them ‘your one’. Things may not come out the way you want them to be but things will work out if he’s your destiny. It might be hard to find the rarest form of love, which is true love, but you’re willing to go on a train trip bound to a destination you’ve never been to given that he’ll meet you at the end of the tunnel. Love isn’t hard. Love is supposed to be easy. You just need patience and it’ll come to you when you least expect it.

It's nearing 11 pm already when you feel lightheaded because of your wine intake and maybe due to the fact that your early sleeping schedule has been breached by tonight's unfortunate event. You bid goodbye to your friend despite her invitation that you should just sleep on her place and decided to call for an uber to save yourself from zoning out like a zombie because you can no longer walk straight with your clouded vision. Eunhee lives upstairs her bookstore because she manages her family's business when her father passed away that's why she isn't living with you anymore. You've grown to be independent now that you're living on your own after sharing the same apartment with your friend during your university days.

"Tomorrow night at 8. I'll text you the address. Don't be late, Y/n. Have a goodnight!” Eunhee tucked you up nicely on your seat and soon the taxi sped up passing underneath the city lights in the mood for the radio's yuletide playlist. You're a bit drunk to see clearly but you can recognize the faint Christmas lights flickering throughout the busy streets. In just half an hour, the uber came to a stop and you hopped off the cab as you made your way towards the entrance of the condo that you’re residing in. You walked past the concierge and romantic music is donning the halls screaming love is in the air but not for you cause it makes you suffocated. Inside the elevator you noticed that you'll join a couple on your way to a 5-minute trip to the 12th floor. You silently wished that nobody would enter in between floors so as not to slow down your fast lane to your unit or else it'll be another episode of 'You-are-single-fgds' slapping your face. Geez, you badly want a damn break but the couple is too absorbed in their own selves, doing whatever cringey couple thing it is behind you, so you chose to ignore their reflection on the elevator walls.

God spared you for that ride and luckily you reached the 12th floor in the fastest speed possible. You walked in a crazy zigzag pattern when you reached the front step of your door and you held on the handle to prevent yourself from falling directly on the ground. Your eyes are zooming in for the door lock as you punch in your keycode multiple times and still wonder why the door isn't granting you any access at all.

"The fudge why aren't you opening?" You tried all possible combinations already but to no luck, you are still denied. For the 10th time, the lock gave up on you and is now urging for a password reset when all of a sudden the heavens finally heard your prayer and the door automatically opened. You fell towards a pair of arms, as if on cue you are saved once again from falling directly on the floor. You grabbed on a pair of shoulders, and you felt like you've reached your bed already as your senses are welcomed with a lovely scent of fabcon, which for you is the sweetest scent in the world.

"Hmm. I can finally sleep now." You smiled the moment you felt safe and secured within the parameters of what you think of as your bed.

"Wait, you cannot sleep on my arms." It's too late for you to wake up because you're already dozing off to dreamland.

"Oh shoot. What am I gonna do with you?" You barged into someone's room and you haven't had the slightest idea of what you'll gonna do the next morning when you wake up.

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boyy-wonder-grayson · 4 years

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Winter's Weather // Dick Grayson Au!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Warnings: nothing other than some swearing and maybe a little angst if you squint (?)

A/n: chapter 2 it's finally here!! I don't know how to feel about this since I've hit writers block quite a few times while writing this,I wanted to make it longer than the first one, which it is, but I don't know. Sorry about the moodboards they're easy and fun to do, so I'll probably do more lmao. Thanks for reading and feedback is always appreciated :) anyway enjoy!!

The first night at her father’s cabin was spent reminiscing of all the times she has been there when her family was complete. Her father was a fisherman, so he usually would wake the girls up and take them to the lake to teach them how to fish. Y/n was quite good at it, her sister Remy on the other hand was not kin of the early activities her father would take them to. Y/n found her father’s old fishing roads at the back of the house; she’d probably end up selling them or donating them to the local shop back in town. It wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. It’s been five years since her father had passed and the wound was still fresh; her father had been her best friend through life. He was a kind man with a wicked sense of humor, he was the backbone of their family, so when he passed it was harder and harder to go back home to her mother who apparently didn’t took him long to find someone else to spend the rest of her life with. That was something Y/n wasn’t happy about; is not that she didn’t want for her mother to be happy, on the contrary, it was that her father’s death was still very much fresh on her mind and she was not ready to move on from that just yet. That was part of the reason why she moved back to his old cabin; to make peace with his death, and try to live a happy life just like her father had wanted for her.

So far she wasn’t doing a good job at it.

In the mess that her father had left on the basement of the house she found more and more stuff that belonged to him and it was hard for her no to cry; being surrounded by her father’s presence was something she wasn’t quite ready to do apparently. She found his old camera inside of a box. The box was filled with Polaroid’s of her, some with her sister and her mother and some of the house. His father was an amateur photographer and that camera was a gift from her in his 50’s birthday. He loved It so much that he took it everywhere with him. He used to say that a picture could tell a better story than words could muster, which it used to annoy her given that she was a writer; writing was her life and for her father to say something like that would make her roll her eyes, but now looking at the photographs she realized he was right. There he was smiling at the camera hugging her closer to his body, laughing because he was squeezing her so hard that her face could barely be seen, nevertheless her sister took the picture. She sniffed looking around and drying her tears, it was going to be harder than she thought. She grabbed the box and the camera and took them upstairs with her, promising that tomorrow she would organize everything and would set her life in motion. After all she would do it for her father, if not for her.

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It was seven a.m. when she heard a knock on her door and groaned, hoping that whoever was brave enough to disrupt her sleep would just go away, but of course she wasn’t that lucky. The knocking intensified until she threw the covers of her bed and shivered when the cold morning air hit her warm body. Apparently sleeping with a short sleeved shirt and some shorts wasn’t a good idea in winter. She opened the door without looking who it was; she was already in a bad mood, one: because who the hell comes all the way to the middle of the woods to wake someone up at the crack of dawn –overdramatic as always—and two: nobody knew she was back in town so who the hell was banging on her door so early? Her question was quickly answered when she was face to face with non-other that the annoying man from yesterday.

“What are you doing here?” she asked confused “and so early in the morning” she added bitterly trying her hardest to show her distaste of his visit.

“Good morning to you too” the guy replied sarcastically. “Like I told you yesterday, your father put me in charge of his place and since you’re here now, and since I’m sure you’re not aware of how a cabin is run, I thought I’d explain to you, so you don’t tear this place down” he said smiling at her now, showing a cute smile that made her stomach turn but not in a good way. He was cocky and she didn’t like that. Not that much at least.

“Is it necessary that you come here at 7 a.m. to do this?” she asked through gritted teeth. She couldn’t believe the audacity of this man.

“Yes, because unlike you I can’t lose my time with people who decided to come live in a cabin in the middle of the woods because her life in the big city wasn’t working for her” he said dryly, almost as if he was angry about it. Y/n was taken aback with his response and look at him in disbelief, partly because of how quickly his playful and cocky attitude changed to a more serious and dark one, and partly because he was right about her reason for coming back to Mystic so suddenly. It was true that her life in the city was not going well and she thought some fresh air from the small town that saw her grow would be a good change, but she wasn’t going to give this stranger man the satisfaction of knowing he was right. He was so right.

“Excuse me Mr. Grinch” she said, earning a glare from the boy. “I don’t need you here. I’ve spent years in this cabin; I know exactly how to keep this place running okay? So you can go now and steal Christmas or whatever that Grinch’s like you do” she said turning around leaving the boy standing at the door. It was her second day back in town and she was already infuriated with this man. Who the hell does he think he is to talk to her like that?

The man on the other hand was fuming; he didn’t like her attitude, and he certainly didn’t like to be compared to one of the most famous grumps in the world, especially by someone who didn’t even know him. He had his reasons to be that way, to be guarded against everyone and everything; that was at least his justification for his shitty attitude, but Y/n was not going to put up with that.

“Listen city girl, I’m not here to discuss how you should or should not do, your father gave me explicit instructions to keep this place intact, and unlike you, I plan to follow them” he said walking closer to the girl. Y/n was angry now. She didn’t even have her morning coffee and she was already arguing with a man, her morning could not be better. Before she could start spewing insults at the boy he started talking again.

“Do you know how much firewood you need to survive the winter? Because no offense but I don’t think chopping wood is one of your strong suits. Or do you know how to properly clean and dry the wood? Or do you know what kind of stain you need to use in this particular house? I’m sure you do right, since you’ve always came here?” he asked question after question making the girl fell smaller with each one. It was true that she didn’t know much about what it took to keep cabin running, but she was stubborn as hell and was not going to back down from an argument, not when her pride was on the line.

“I don’t need some lumberjack wannabe to tell me how to take care of my house, I can always talk to someone else, or hire someone to the maintenance for me” she replied smugly, enjoying the way his face contorted with each word she said. He scoffed and ran a hand through his hair trying to calm himself down, it wasn’t ideal that he was stubborn as hell too. Their personalities collided and no one was going to back down if that meant admitting they were wrong.

“Your father asked me to take care of this place, and I will do it whether you like it or not” he said looking straight into her eyes. She would be a big fat liar if she said that his stare wasn’t doing things to her. Her stomach twisted and her heartbeat accelerated looking at the man in front of her. He was hot and handsome as hell, his brown eyes became darker the more frustrated he got and she imagined herself in a different situation with those brown eyes staring at her with such intensity. She quickly shook her head to get rid of such sinful thoughts and cleared her throat trying to come remember what he said last.

The brown eyed boy wasn’t too different from her. His eyes darted towards her chest, he noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra and the cold air of the morning made her nipples hard, but she was too engrossed trying arguing with him to notice. But he did notice my god. He removed his eyes quickly from her chest and the next thing he noticed was her long legs; he imagined himself in a different situation where her legs would be wrapped around his waist. He shook his head gently removing those thoughts from his head, hopefully she wouldn’t have noticed the way he was checking her out. She didn’t, but she did ask him a question.

“What?” he said feeling stupid for thinking about taking the woman in front of him against the nearest wall, instead of listening to her.

“I asked what your name is, or should I call you Grinch?” she asked with amusement dancing in her eyes.

“I’m Richard, but everyone just calls me Dick.”

------

The following day Y/n woke up early that day with the intention of doing some work around the house. She wasn’t sure yet what would happen to the cabin; she thought about selling the place once she finished with the maintenance and some remodeling. A cabin in the woods would give her some good money; but detaching herself from the house where she spent half her childhood and teenage years was hard.

She still had time though. She was taking some time away from the city so spending time away from everyone and being on her own would do her good. Or at least that was what she said to herself. She decided after having her second breakfast –which consisted of some coffee—that she needed some groceries if she was going to spend the winter in the woods. The stores weren’t so far from the cabin so she grabbed her wallet, keys and wrapped herself in her warmest clothes to go out and face the winter of Connecticut. She made it into town in twenty minutes. It was snowing slightly when she got out of the car, she had park just in front of Mrs. Bradley old market. That place was already when she was a kid and apparently was still standing strong. Mrs. Bradley was the nicest woman she had ever met, the woman would always sneak a candy or two for her and her sister when they were shopping with her dad, her mother didn’t like that and scoffed whenever that happened but Mrs. Bradley would pay no mind and do it whenever she could. The bell atop of the door dinged when she entered the shop, making the old woman lift her gaze and when she recognized a smile stretched across her lips.

“Y/n! Oh look at you!” the old woman beamed at her making her smile even bigger. The woman moved from her spot behind the register to hug the girl, which the later reciprocated with as much enthusiasm as the woman.

“You look so beautiful; look how much you’ve grown!”

“Thanks Mrs. Bradley you’re looking good too, didn’t age a day.”

“Lucky for you flattery would get you everywhere with me” the woman said, making the girl laugh. One thing she loved about this town was the people. Most of the town had seen her grow from a little kid to the woman she is today. She had a special place for everyone in this town, especially Mrs. Bradley, she was like the grandmother she never had.

“Well lucky me then” she said giggling with the old woman.

“I haven’t seen you in what? Five years? ” Mrs. Bradley asked rubbing her hands along her arms in a comforting manner “I’m sorry about your father, we were all very sad to hear that he was gone, I can’t imagine how you must’ve felt. You were so closed” she said smiling sadly.

“Thanks, and yeah it was…hard, that’s why it took me so long to come back here” she admitted; it was easy for her to talk to this woman, easier than with her mother for sure.

“I know sweetie, I know. But you’re here now, and that’s what matters.” She was so grateful to have someone like her that she could confide in about pretty much everything.

“Yeah, and I’ll be around for a long time I think,” she confessed. The old woman hugged her once again and professed how happy she was that she had decided to stick around for a while promising that they would have a chat whenever she was free. The girl nodded excited to finally be back somewhere where she felt comfortable enough to call it home. She apologized to the customer that was waiting for the women to finish chatting and made her way to the back of the store to get some groceries. She was halfway done with every item on her list when she found herself in front of the cereal aisle; she scanned the shelf looking for her favorite brand, she smiled triumphantly when she found the last box at the top of the shelf. She stood on her tiptoes trying to reach the box before someone snatched it out of her grasp. Her head snapped quickly to find the body attached to the hand that took the last box of cereal and of course it had to be no other than Dick.

“Give it back” she said, already annoyed by her presence. Dick looked down at her acknowledging her presence and chuckled when he saw her frowning like a child.

“No” he said, trying hard not to laugh at her expression. Her mouth was slightly open, her brows were furrowed and he knew she was ready to retaliate.

“I saw it first, I even grabbed it first before you literally took it out of my hands” she explained “So technically it’s mine” she said crossing her arms across her chest.

“Technically it’s in my basket, so it’s mine,” he said. He would never admit it but as much as he was annoyed by her, he still enjoyed pissing her off.

“You stole it! So give it back now” she reached a hand waiting for him to return her cereal.

“Nop” he said and turned around leaving her with her mouth open. She was trying to think of a good comeback but dick was halfway across the store by then.

“At least he does justice to his name” Y/n said grabbing a different box of cereal, sighing she continued her shopping hoping not to bump into Dick for the rest of the day.

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Dick’s phone rang the second he sat inside his car. He sighed when he saw the name on the screen.

“Bruce” he said coldly. He wasn’t in the mood for a lecture now; he had shit to do other than to listen to what his dad had to say.

“Son, how are you? I wasn’t sure if you were going to answer the phone” Bruce said making Dick roll his eyes and his passive-aggressiveness.

“Yeah, well I did. Can I help you with something?” he was already stressed about this whole thing. He moved from Gotham to avoid everything and everyone; but apparently Gotham did not move on from him.

“Not really I was just checking on you, since you don’t seem to call much these days” Bruce said sounding a little…sad. Dick felt a pang in his chest. Guilt. He knew Bruce was not doing this on purpose, despite everything he loved his dad and Bruce loved him too, but being reminded every week or two how he seemed to forget about his family stung.

“I know, and I’m sorry it’s just…it’s still hard,” Dick confessed over the phone. He heard Bruce sighing on the other line.

“I know kid, I know it’s hard. But I thought moving there was supposed to do good to you. What happened?”

“Nothing happened that’s the thing” he said not making much sense “Nothing happened. Things just stayed the same as it was back in Gotham and I honestly don’t know what I was expecting when I moved out here. I guess I’m just mad that my feelings didn’t change after all the time I spent here” he pinched the bridge of his nose; he didn’t know why was he saying all this now, he spent so much time lying to himself and his father about being okay and now the words came out of his mouth like a damn breaking after holding the water for far too long.

“Look Dick, I know you don’t like when I give you advice but listen to me son” Bruce said in a serious tone “Things won’t change unless you make them change. Moving out was just the first step, maybe it was a good one or maybe not. But things won’t be different because you don’t want them to be different. Starting over is a big step in life, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad one. You need to start thinking less and start acting more.”

As much as Dick hated to admit it, Bruce was right. He wondered many times if the only reason why he wasn’t moving out in life was because he was subconsciously sabotaging his own life; and the answer was yes. He had many opportunities to forget about her and find someone new to help him heal his broken heart, but he refused to take them because he was afraid. Afraid of being hurt again, afraid of opening to someone only for that someone to leave him like it happened the last time. He knew it was stupid to hold onto the pain from the past, and that not everyone was going to hurt him, but the fear was there and he spent so many years being comfortable inside the wall he built around himself, that thinking of going out of them was scary.

“I know, and I try but…I can’t”

“I know son, but being scared it’s just part of the healing process. You can’t throw your life away for one misstep. It’s not worth it. She wasn’t worth it” Bruce said trying to lift the boys’ spirits.

“Thanks dad, I kind needed this long overdue conversation” he said sincerely. He missed his family.

“No problem kid, I know I haven’t been the best example when it comes to relationships, but I know a thing or two” Bruce joked. Dick smiled wide, missing the old man and his antics.

“I have to go, I’ll talk to you later dad” he said, turning the engine on.

"Okay kid, take care, and please don’t hesitate to call. We miss you, I think even Jason does”

“Tell him I miss him too, and maybe one of these days you can come visit, if that’s okay with you” dick said suddenly worried about his father’s answer.

“I’d love to Dick. Very much.” He hung up the phone and smiled genuinely in what felt like years of not doing it. He was unaware of someone else looking at him from the other side of the street.

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