#4: i have no idea how cesar shows up. i have no idea WHY cesar shows up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alexthemenace · 6 months

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Inktober 2019 archive

Posting all my Inktober 2019 pics cause it was the only year where I successfully did a drawing for every day of the month. And also used actual ink for these which I know is not required but I wanted to. Most of these were never posted outside the "Rebel Taxi" Amino so I wanna document their existence and share them with the public. My gimmick with these was to do them in 5-15 minutes as a challenge to come up with ideas on the spot. And also so I wouldn't spend too much time on these since my college projects took priority. I also had my purple Halloween neon lights on when I took these pictures so that is why they're all purple (minus day 31's drawing). Anyway, here they are in order of the days I made them.

Day 1: a generic east coast rapper on the mic rocking a show. Mostly inspired by Chuck D of Public Enemy and maybe subconsciously Todd in the Shadows. Oh and totally forgot that I was watching Vin Diesel's 1997 feature directorial debut, Strays, before I drew this which had a very gritty 90s NYC setting. At the time I was very impressed by his short film directorial debut, Multi-Facial, so I wanted to see if his feature was just as good (it wasn't).

Day 2: a defeated young man submitting to an alien/holy light shining down upon him. You could also interpret it as seeking of a higher power. Inspired by the CD artwork of OutKast's ATLiens album. This was later turned into a self-portrait oil painting for class which turned out really great.

Day 3: vaguely retro comic book Batman crashing through a window upon a crime scene. This was done right before I went to see Joker in theaters. The perspective and anatomy is meh but it was a quick drawing so I can live with it. Apparently I took 20 minutes with it according to my notes from Discord in 2019 which wow.

Day 4: Close-up of Cesare from The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. This was one of two drawings where I intentionally broke my 5-15 minute rule as I did this in about an hour. I used a reference of the iconic scene of him waking up but I still tried to be quick so the face looks less like Conrad Veidt and more like David Bowie imo but I'm still quite proud of it.

Day 5: a possessed woman. Took a wee bit longer to do but this was a fun exercise to draw longer hair like this (something I still don't have a lot of experience with) and to play a bit with perspective and anatomy without a reference iirc. She is also supposed to vaguely be from an older era far from civilization - hence the lack of clothing (she is tastefully censored though). Apparently I wasn't happy with how stiff she turned out back then but I think in hindsight it works quite well.

Day 6: a bald child from a mental ward stares at a man laying face down on a haystack. The girl was loosely based off Eleven from Stranger Things. The man in the haystack also reminds me of that one Junji Ito manga but I don't remember if that thought that came to me while making this or that's just hindsight. Also I didn't start with a finished concept in mind for this one so, very randomly put together.

Day 7: Nostalgia Critic 2Pac. As it says, it's Doug Walker if he modeled his Nostalgia Critic character after 2Pac's aesthetic. I personally really like this one. Have also been told he resembles a Beavis and Butt-head character which I see lol but that's ok. Apparently I was watching JAR Media's video on if Nostalgia Critic was cringy and for some fucking reason the idea of 2Pac came to mind lol.

Day 8: a baby with a dripping spear celebrating the head of a medium sized therapod dinosaur they successfully hunted. This one was inspired by Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal which I was a very big fan of at the time. Censored cause I like my Tumblr account and don't wanna risk losing it.

Day 9: Count Orlok from Nosferatu opening a door. I think it turned out nicely but don't really have much else to say about it other than the fact that I didn't use a reference.

Day 10: sullen twink laying bare on the ground. This was inspired by that iconic image of Maria from Silent Hill 2 laying down on the ground by the Heaven's Night neon sign. I think I just particularly like this kind of imagery since a mood piece I shot later that month incorporated a shot that is exactly like this (minus the lack of clothing). Also, the uncensored drawing actually shows nothing explicit since I intentionally had that area covered in shadows. But I worry Tumblr will think otherwise and smite down upon me so it's better to be safe than sorry. Also the perspective on his right leg is off so better to not see it in full anyway.

Day 11: gentleman combing his hair in a mirror that reveals a skeleton doing the same thing. The pic crops off the bottom part of the drawing which shows his legs and the tail flaps of his suit. But I always thought that part looked extra janky so I never include it. It was a rushed drawing anyway.

Day 12: Tim Burton inspired child sitting in the corner of a room, looking very sad. Supposed to represent being overwhelmed with life and emotions. I recall I also had Dib from Invader Zim in mind when drawing this. I don't tend to draw in this art style much so I'm pretty surprised even now how good it turned out. At the time I was doing a presentation for my Directing class on Tim Burton - so he was definitely on my mind for this.

Day 13: imprisoned droid waking up in the middle of the night. Apparently I was thinking of a bunch of movies when I did this plus I think Scud: The Disposable Assassin and my own avatar. Also I just like robots with this kind of thin pill shaped build.

Day 14: my idea of man that has fully evolved into only being able to eat, sleep, and stare at a screen. I didn't sleep the night before so I thought to draw a human that has devolved into a lazy slob who only eats and sleeps and as a result is incredibly out of shape save its legs to move around as it scours the land for any food before deciding to fall asleep for days. Thank you Discord notes from myself in 2019 for helping me remember this exact story lol.

Day 15: Undead Pan Pizza of RebelTaxi singing his pathetic little heart out. The design is based off of Jack Skellington (namely the proportions and spooky qualities like the stitches across Pan's face) during one of his more sad song numbers in The Nightmare Before Christmas. It's worth noting this era was sorta the last big hoorah for my obsession and fanboyism of Pan. I had a mild burst of being hooked one last time around Fall 2019 after losing interest in his podcast around the beginning of that year (a podcast I previously would follow religiously). I still liked him after this era and would definitely have periods of renewed interest but not to the same extent as before sadly.

Day 16: an imprisoned boy looking at the light coming through his barred window. This one used more pencil than ink to break away from mostly keeping it ink. It's very janky but the idea speaks to me. Apparently was also trying to think of a portrait for my oil painting class so this was one of the ideas that came to mind (didn't end up using it for anything though).

Day 17: a spooky little sickly old guy. I apparently was inspired by a character from Courage the Cowardly Dog when I did this. No clue which episode now though unless you guys can remember what he looks like.

Day 18: guy getting his face vacuumed off. I like that one episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy where Eddy's face get sucked by a vacuum. I got nothing else to say.

Day 19: self-portrait of me directing. It's a cutesy little drawing of me! And also the outfit I wore when I directed my mood piece that day.

Day 20: a large and vicious snake lizard hybrid. It's pretty self-explanatory. I think ultimately it's more just a snake with forearms and a spike tail. I guess I just was thinking at the time "what would be the ultimate snake?" Like a snake that can beat any snake. Also this was done on day 21 since I didn't have time on day 20 for it.

Day 21: large older guy hiding a knife behind his back. His looked is based on a friend of mine I went to college with and how he looked on set a few days ago when the light glistened over him. Although instead of a knife he held a script. He also vaguely reminds me of Al from Toy Story 2.

Day 22: sleep paralysis demon taunts twink. I like twinks, ok. Also I think just noticed something about that demon that I forgot I did but oh well. I think it'll be fine.

Day 23: guy with a very, very itchy head. I really like the pose and facial expression so it's actually one of my favorites here despite it being relatively mundane. Also, the itchy head may have been cause my head was itchy while drawing this but I don't remember. But I do remember part of the influence here was how sometimes great feelings of stress and anger would trigger an itchy head for me.

Day 24: a corpse brought back to life in a very rough and unfinished form. Obviously a bit of a Frankenstein's monster meets I guess Sally and Dr. Finkelstein from The Nightmare Before Christmas influence here. I may have had Pearl from Steven Universe in mind when I did this too since me and another friend definitely saw the resemblance.

Day 25: a twink who hit their face a little too hard on the bathroom sink. Twink. The full picture isn't really that gruesome imo (the face isn't visible) but I was trying to censor the liquids a bit for obvious reasons I already disclosed earlier. Also, he was loosely based on me but don't think too hard about that. I just had a bad day directing on set was all.

Day 26: Cute, unamused Hot Topic employee being bitten on the left leg by his pet lizard. Yet again another twink but this one's outfit is based mostly on my wardrobe at the time (minus the Jack Skellington shirt but I did/do have some pajama pants of him). And I guess I find reptiles cool so, only just noticing a bit of a reoccurring subject here (along with twinks).

Day 27: a melting zombie-like corpse crawling away from a puddle of acid. A tad more gruesome, sure, but I think it's a pretty cool drawing. And also it's like, a zombie, so it's not that inappropriate for standards here I hope. Apparently took a while to come up with an idea for this one.

Day 28: that one guy from Jacob's Ladder with a bag over his head and no legs walking with his arms. When I drew this, I had just seen Jacob's Ladder the night before for the first time and it became an instant favorite of mine. So, I drew a character from it. Him walking with his arms is based off of Mugshot's mode of travel from Sly Cooper.

Day 29: Jimi Hendrix inspired voodoo guy with a crystal ball. Pretty self-explanatory. Had fun with the texture and lighting although I was never quite satisfied with how I did the shading on his hair. The straight lines make his fro look like a porcupine lol. Regardless of that, it's a pretty cool drawing. Also worth noting is that during this time I fell back in love with 60s music. The Doors and Beatles in particular were major points of obsession for me. Especially their psychedelic period and ofc Jimi Hendrix was part of that era so that deep fixation for psychedelic and hippie music made its way into this.

Day 30: lizard amphibian fish mishmash girl with pony tails happily waving at us. This was definitely my least favorite of these and if not for my next and final drawing, would've been a lackluster way to end this. It's not awful but eh, just never really personally resonated with me. Also, she is wearing a seaweed braw so don't panic moral guardians of the world. For some reason Mrs. Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life came to mind when I drew this. Along with a certain friend of mind, @fishboigazer-blog, (which if you or a mutual is reading this lol hey).

And that's it for now since I can't fit more than 30 pics. Which is fine by me cause Day 31 deserves its own post since that one I did spend a few hours on as opposed to the rest of these. That one I also did actually post to Tumblr back in the day so I may just reblog it come Halloween.

If you actually read this far, thank you! I spent hours trying to put this together in a way that is satisfactory to me and hopefully gives plenty of insight into my process. This has been a very long time coming and hope to actually post more original stuff on here instead of just endlessly reblogging things.

#inktober #inktober 2019 #the cabinet of dr. caligari #rebeltaxi #nostalgia critic #nosferatu #jacob's ladder #cesare the somnambulist #fan art #sketches #AlexTheMenace art

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merakiaes · 4 years

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All Forgiven - Oscar “Spooky” Diaz

Pairing: Oscar “Spooky” Diaz x reader, everyone else x reader (platonic)

Requested: By @neelehksttr

Prompts: None.

Warnings/notes: I barely even know what I’ve written or what the hell this is, it turned out so bad. I didn’t really find the inspiration for this one so it’s really crappy and dull, I’m sorry😭 This is mainly platonic so there’s not much Spooky x reader interaction in this but I promise you better fics are coming when I get my inspiration back. It’s not proofread so sorry in advance for any possible mistakes, Spanish translations at the end.

Wordcount: 6168

Summary: You’re a good friend to the Core 4 and when they find out you’ve been seeing Oscar in secret, they’re not very happy.

It was a Friday afternoon when you were sitting with the Core 4 and Jasmine in Ruby’s living room, your feet laid out over Jamal and Cesar’s laps where they were seated beside you in the couch and your hand absentmindedly pulling through Monse’s hair where she sat below you on the floor.

The weather outside was amazing, the temperature and humidity perfect and burning rays of sun beaming down over the block, just the way you liked it.

You would have much rather been outside working on your tan and breathing in the fresh air right now and yet, you were stuck inside, staring out the window longingly while Ruby and Jasmine forced you to partake in another one of their countless meetings.

“Hey, guys!” Came the voice of Ruby then, pulling you out of your daydreaming and back to reality just in time to see him snapping his fingers at you.

Beside you, Jamal and Cesar also whipped their head around to look at their two glaring friends.

“How did none of you hear what we just said?” Ruby asked, holding his hand on his hips and leaning forward slightly; a stance that, with his height, looked absolutely hilarious.

Cesar gave Ruby and Jasmine a guilty smile. “I’ve been zoning out for the past hours and a half.” He confessed, and Jamal heaved a dramatic sigh beside him.

“I got distracted halfway through.” He held his phone up for all to see sheepishly.

All of them turned to look at you and Monse, and the younger girl beneath you just shrugged her shoulders, leaning her head back against the couch to give you better access to her hair. “I just made a conscious decision to ignore you.”

“Damn.” Jasmine’s face fell. “Why you always gotta be so cold, Monse?”

“Why you always gotta be so boring?” She asked back without missing a beat, and you lightly slapped the back of her head, giving her a pointed look when she glared up at you.

Jasmine brought a hand up to her chest. “Okay, ouch.” She said, offended, but still nodded her head in acceptance. “But I appreciate the feedback, even though it was completely uncalled for.”

Ruby turned to you. “(Y/N).” He called your name, causing your hand to still on top of Monse’s head and your eyes to flicker away from your nails to meet his. “Will you tell them to focus? This is serious business.”

You rolled your eyes, dropping your hand from in front of your face and resuming your patting on your best friend’s hair. “We’re planning a party, Ruben.” You pointed out. “Not world domination.”

His face pulled into one of genuine shock almost immediately. “The first party we’ll be hosting in all our high school years! It’s serious!” He exclaimed, fists balling at his sides and only causing him to look even cuter.

The sight brought a chuckle from your lips. “Jesus…” You shook your head, removing your hand from Monse’s hair much to her dismay, and beginning to stand up from your seat. “I’m gonna go pee.”

Ruby hurried forward to you when you stood up, stopping you with his hands. “But we have to keep planning!”

“I’ll be right back, just carry on without me.”

He sighed, bringing his hands up to his face, but still stepped aside to let you walk around the sofa and toward the bathroom.

Behind you, you could hear him and Jasmine getting back to the party planning and you chuckled, feeling sorry for Cesar, Jamal and Monse who were forced to listen to it.

Once you got to the bathroom, you locked yourself in and let out a loud, relieved sigh when the sounds of the outside became muffled by the closed door and you were finally left in silence, alone.

They were all were good friends to you but you could admit that it got stressful to be around them at times.

They never took the time to just… relax. They were always running around, seemingly doing everything they shouldn’t be doing, much to yours and Oscar’s dismay; although for very different reasons.

While you just didn’t want to see them get in trouble or even worse, get hurt, he was the one left behind to clean up the messes they always seemed to stir up around Freeridge and in turn, you were always the one forced to listen to him complain.

He never understood why you were friends with his brother and his friends, seeing as they were four years younger than you and you didn’t even go to school together, you having graduated together with Ruby’s older brother, Mario.

And at this point, you didn’t really know how you became apart of their group either.

You just remembered being there for Monse when things got rough and with time, she started seeing you as the older sister slash motherly figure she never had, and you just became one of them.

Another sigh left your lips as you leaned on the sink and looked at your reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall above it, taking in the way your face was becoming slightly paler with how much time you’d spent inside the past few weeks.

One of your hands left the sink and moved down to your back pocket, searching for your phone, only to find it wasn’t there.

Your eyes closed in annoyance, knowing you were now forced to go back outside, but you didn’t waste any time, flushing the toilet so that it wouldn’t be as obvious that you had lied about your intentions just to get away, unlocked the door and went back outside.

You calmly walked through the hallway, taking in the family pictures on the walls, and only a second later, you were back in the living room,.

However, your body automatically stopped in the doorway when coming face to face to everyone staring right at you, the house now completely silent.

They were all sporting different expression, but most of them were in some way ones of anger or betrayal.

You had no idea what was going on, but when Monse held up your phone, you almost instantly understood, and she confirmed your suspicions a second later.

“Do you want to tell me why Spooky’s calling you? And why he’s put into your contacts as ‘mi amor’?”

Your eyes widened, flickering between them as you walked into the room, rushing over to Monse to snatch your phone back. “I can explain.”

“Can’t wait to hear this one.” She chuckled dryly.

You looked at her sadly. “Oscar and I-“

“Oscar?” She interrupted. “First name basis, huh?”

“Will you let me talk?” You glared pointedly at her, shoving your phone back into the pocket of your jeans.

In response, she held her arm out as a ‘go ahead’ before stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest, her hip popping out to further show how angry she was.

“Oscar and I…” You tried again, looking at them guiltily. “We’re together.”

Jamal crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes accusingly at you. But he didn’t look angry the same was Monse, Cesar and Ruby did. “For how long?” He inquired, and you sighed.

“Almost seven months.” You confessed, and a scoff instantly left Monse’s lips.

But Jasmine either couldn’t read the tense atmosphere, or she just didn’t care, because the next thing you knew, she had launched herself forward from Ruby’s side to wrap her arms around you. “Congratulations, girl!” She exclaimed. “I always knew there was some bad girl in you!”

You coughed slightly when she squeezed you hard, feeling your lungs being pushed together. But luckily, the pressure disappeared just as quickly as it got there when Monse grabbed her arm and ripped her away from you.

“No! Not congratulations!” She objected, glaring at you. “How could you do this to us?”

You raised an eyebrow, now starting to grow sick of her attitude. “Excuse me?” You asked, and she threw her arms out in exasperation.

“It’s Spooky! He’s a Santo!”

“The Santo.” Ruby joined in, stepping up to her side.

You knew his anger was justified, with how the Santos had played a major role in Olivia’s death, something he still hadn’t gotten over. But Monse’s reaction was just unnecessary, and it was getting on your nerves quickly.

“Yes, I’m very well aware, thank you.” You told her, crossing your arms over your chest to match her stance. “This is why I didn’t tell you. I knew you would react like this.”

“We have every right to be angry!” She exclaimed again and you shook your head calmly.

“No, you don’t, not really.” You denied. “I shouldn’t have kept it from you, I admit that, but you have no say in what I do with my life.”

She glared at you. “He’s dangerous.”

Her words brought a scoff out of your lips. The mere thought of Oscar hurting you was ridiculous, just as ridiculous as this conversation.

“Not to me, he’s not.” You shook your head.

But she just wouldn’t give up. “Have you forgotten everything he’s done to us?” She asked. “You’re sleeping with the enemy.”

You breathed out through your nose in annoyance, bringing your hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose. “Now you’re just being dramatic.” You chuckled dryly.

“Dramatic my ass! You’re a traitor to this group.” She pointed a finger at you, and beside her, Ruby awkwardly shuffled on his feet.

“You deserve better.” He shrugged his shoulders, face pulled into a bitter, to say the least, expression.

You could only shake your head and sigh while rubbing your forehead. “Jesus Christ, Monse. Are you even hearing yourself right now?” You asked, ignoring Ruby’s input.

Everyone stood silently despite obviously having a lot to say, knowing that this was a conversation between you and Monse. After all, she was the one you were the closest to.

You had lost count of the nights you had stayed with her when Monty had been out on a long drive and she was lonely or having trouble with Cesar, and how many times she’d stayed at your house like that was her home in the first place, sleeping in your bed, eating your food.

You had expected to get negative reactions if the news ever became public of yours and Oscar’s secret relationship, that was the reason you had kept it a secret in the first place, but this was just ridiculous.

You thought you’d taught her better; you expected better.

”You sit here and hate on him for shit you know nothing about but as soon as you need something he’s suddenly good enough?” You asked them all with a dry laugh, shaking your head. “That's not right. I'm not the one who deserves better, he is. He's been risking his life for you every time you’ve gotten in trouble, going against Cuchillos’ orders to keep you safe."

“He could have made different choices if only he wanted to.” Monse glowered at you, and you glared right back.

"Are you really that naïve?” You asked. “You really think he's that ruthless all on his own? He's just taking orders. If he refused, you, me, all of us, would be at risk for your lives. The entire neighborhood would if he and Los Santos weren’t here. You’re all so fucking petty."

“You want to talk about petty? Fine, I’ll give you petty.” She crossed her arms over her chest, giving you the bitchiest nod you’d ever received in your life. “It’s him or us.”

Everyone quickly whipped their heads away from you to look at her with wide eyes, not believing the words that had just left her mouth.

“Monse…” Ruby tried, but both of you ignored him.

“Are you kidding?” You asked her.

“Does it look like I’m kidding?” She challenged you, giving you another nod and raising an eyebrow. “The times he’s been helpful don’t even come close to the times he’s fucked us over. He kicked Cesar out to the street.”

You sighed, looking to the side briefly before looking back to her. “Look, I know you don’t see it that way, but he did it to keep him safe-”

“Safe?!” She exclaimed, lowering her arms and taking a step closer to you. “Constantly being on the run from Prophets is what you consider safe?!”

“It sure beats the hell out of being stabbed to death by Cuchillos.” You argued. “Which both Cesar and Oscar would have been if he hadn’t cut him off for not finishing the job.”

Monse only narrowed her eyes, your words seemingly falling to deaf ears. “It’s him or us, (Y/N). Take your pick.”

“Cesar, he’s your brother.” You turned to him suddenly, causing his eyes to widen in shock. “Haven’t you got anything to say about this?”

“Yeah, Cesar, haven’t you?” Monse agreed, turning to look at him too, and he looked between you nervously for a moment, before wiping his face free of emotion and stopping to look at you.

He shook his head. “He’s the reason my dad left. The reason for everything bad that’s ever happened to me.” He told you. “He’s not a good person, (Y/N). He’s going to end up hurting you like he hurts everyone else.”

While Monse’s face turned up into a contented, smug smirk, you could feel your vision turning red and your blood bubbling with anger.

“You should be ashamed of yourself. Do you have any idea how much he’s sacrificed for your sake?” You spat at your boyfriend’s brother, before uncrossing your arms and shaking your head with defeat. “Fine. I can really see now why people my age have always advised me not to be friends with a bunch of kids. We’re clearly not on the same level of maturity.”

Without another word, you walked around them to pick your jacket up by the front door, beginning to put it on.

When you walked away from them, they, in turn, turned around to follow your every move with their eyes, the boys and Jasmine just standing back quietly and watching you and Monse yell at each other like the situation at hand was a game of table tennis.

“You would choose him over your best friends?” Monse asked with another scoff and you didn’t miss a beat, shaking your head at her while pulling your arms through the sleeves of your jacket.

“If you were really my best friends, you would have supported me in this like I’ve always supported you and not made me choose. I’ve never been any of you guys’ first choice, but I’ve always been his. You’re not my best friends, he is.”

A hurt look crossed over her face. “You walk through that door, we’re done.”

Tears were starting to build up in her eyes and you couldn’t really understand why she was reacting as severely as she was, but nevertheless, you only glared at her.

"I’d rather die than break his heart."

"He doesn’t even have one."

If looks could kill, Monse would have been staked, buried, dug up and then staked again for good measure at this point, nothing but pure fury showing behind your eyes.

"You would all be dead if he didn't.” You told her. “His heart is bigger than all of yours combined and after how many times he's glued the pieces back together all by himself, he doesn’t deserve to get it stabbed once more."

Her head shook. “You know he’s just gonna up and leave you once he gets tired of you, right?”

“Just because Cesar is a cheating piece of shit doesn’t mean his brother is, too.” You answered before you could stop yourself, and Cesar instantly perked up at the sound of his name, a glare crossing over his face.

“Hey!” He called, and you and Monse instantly turned to him with a glare each.

“Quiet!”

He quickly shrunk back into himself, wincing at your loud voices and looking down.

Monse turned back to look at you. “Where do you think he got it from, huh?” She asked you, not even caring that she was currently bashing her boyfriend right in front of him.

“Please, I don’t have to stand here and take relationship advice from a fifteen-year-old.” You just rolled your eyes, opening the front door and turning your back to them to leave.

“Fine!” She threw her arms out, taking a step back where she stood. “Go be a Santo slut then!”

You stopped in your tracks at the sound of her upsetting words, hearing both Jasmine and Jamal drawing in a gasp and turning around to see Cesar’s and Ruby’s eyes widely staring at Monse.

Her face instantly pulled into one of guilt when your eyes met, reality catching up with her and making her realize what she’d just said.

But you were as calm as ever as you stared back at her, face now wiped free of emotion and your eyes, as well.

“That’s a new low, even for you.” You said slowly. “Grow the fuck up.” A dry laugh left your lips, and then you turned back around and walked out the door.

“Don’t come crying to us when you get fucked over!” She yelled after you, but you were already gone, the door slamming shut behind you and the room turning silent.

“What’s wrong with y’all?” Jasmine was the first to speak after a good minute of awkward silence hanging in the air, causing them all to turn to look at her.

“What do you mean?” Ruby asked in a small voice and she briefly looked at him, before turning to look at Monse.

“That was fucked up, Monse.” She pointed out, her face full of disbelief. “(Y/N)’s never been anything but supportive of you. She drives you around every day, basically does all of your homework for you and always stands up for you when you’re not there and someone bad-talks you. You never tell her anything, always freeze her out, and she still hasn’t questioned your shady behavior once. She’s done nothing but be a good friend to you all and this is how you repay her? Not cool, guys.”

“If she was a good friend she wouldn’t have chosen him over us.” Monse tried defending her actions, crossing her arms over her chest.

But Jasmine wouldn’t have it, glaring at her. “No, if you were good friends, you wouldn’t have forced her to choose in the first place.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Ruby quickly defended himself, stepping up to his kinda-girlfriend.

She turned to him, looking down at him with furrowed eyebrows. “No, and that just makes it worse.” She agreed. “Come find me when you’ve got your morals figured out, okay, boo? I’m out.” She said, touching Ruby’s cheek before heading for the door you had just stormed out through.

The three friends were left alone and once again, a heavy silence fell over them. This time, Monse was the one to break the silence, turning to Jamal and holding her arms out.

“You’ve been awfully quiet, too. Whose side are you on?” She asked, and he instantly groaned dramatically.

“Do I have to pick?”

“YES!” She yelled, causing them all to jump where they stood.

“Fine!” He exclaimed back and threw his arms out. “Yes, she shouldn’t have kept it from us, but maybe, just maybe, she was a little bit right!”

“Elaborate.”

“We keep literally everything from her and Spooky isn’t that bad.” He shrugged. “He scares the shit out of me but he has protected us more times than we’d be able to count. She wasn’t lying about that.”

Monse narrowed her eyes, but before she or anyone else got the chance to say something else, Cesar’s phone suddenly started ringing in his pocket, causing them all to turn their attention away from the fight and to him.

They watched as he picked the ringing smartphone up from his pocket, frowning at the unfamiliar number lighting up the screen. Still, he shrugged and swiped the green phone icon, putting the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Who is it?” Jamal wasted no time in asking as the nosy boy he was, and Cesar looked up to meet their eyes with a shocked expression crossing his face.

“It’s my dad.”

After the fiasco with Monse and the boys, you headed straight for Oscar’s house, hands clenched into fists at your sides and desperate to vent to the man who had been there to take care of you when you had been too busy taking care of everyone else around you.

But just your luck, he hadn’t been home, the red Impala nowhere in sight and, of course, he’d chosen this day out of all days to lock up after himself, something he never did anyways no matter how many times you told him to.

So you were stuck on the porch, occupying yourself with playing Subway Surf for the first time in probably over three years.

But you weren’t complaining. Despite everything that had just gone down, you felt content now that you were finally able to sit in the sun, happily sitting there for well over half an hour before the sound of the familiar engine and hip hop music reached your ears from down the street.

You spotted the red Impala instantly, following it with your gaze as it drove past the house and pulled up in the driveway, Oscar and his Santos piling out once it was parked and the music had died down.

Sad Eyes was the first one to spot you and you offered him a small wave and smile, watching as he nodded back at you before alerting Oscar, who was still doing something inside the car.

He immediately looked up to meet your gaze through the rolled down car window, and he wasted no time in getting out, slamming the car door shut behind him.

As he began approaching you where you sat, you exited the game on your phone and locked it, putting it back into your pocket just as Oscar reached you, the Santos busying themselves over by the sofa and weights to give you some privacy.

“Where you been?” He asked you as he came up to you, nodding his head once. “I’ve been calling you.”

You stood up, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your jacket. “Yeah, I know.” You smiled sadly at him, and he instantly noticed something was up.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, reaching his arms out to pull you into his chest.

Your hands left your pockets at that, your arms instead wrapping around his torso while he took your face in one of his hands, the other resting at the curve of your waist.

“They found out.” You muttered back, leaning into his touch when he swiped his thumb over your cheek.

“And?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes at the childishness of it. “They made me chose between you and them.” You answered, and he snorted, obviously finding it as amusing as it, in reality, was. You just couldn’t help but feel sad about it.

“Cesar, too?” He questioned, and you nodded.

“Yup.”

“And you chose me?”

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” You raised an eyebrow.

A smile rose to his lips, his hand sliding a bit further down. Not enough to fully grope you, but just enough to show you he was being cheeky.

“Why?” He asked, pressing his lips to the corner of your lip lightly.

You couldn’t help but smile at the feeling. “Because true friends worth my while wouldn’t have made me choose in the first place.” You hummed, getting lost in his touch and momentarily forgetting what you were even talking about.

“I know for a fact you wouldn’t have.” You added with a scoff, coming back to reality and turning sour again.

He hummed, brushing your hair away from your shoulder and leaning you back against the wall of the porch. “What did they say?” He asked, and you started thinking back to the conflict you had suffered through half an hour ago, all while letting him kiss your neck and feel you up.

“They called me a traitor, but they mostly said shit about you.”

“Like what?” He suddenly stopped, bringing his head up from your neck to look at you.

“Oh, you know, just the usual.” You drawled. “How you’ve fucked up Cesar’s and all of their lives, put them in danger, that you’re dangerous for me and that you will hurt me.”

“What else?”

“That’s it.”

“I know you, mamas.” He looked at you fondly, not in the slightest affected about what his brother and his friends had said about him; all his focus was on you. “I can see when you’re lying.”

You broke your gaze from his and averted it to the side, swallowing. But Oscar was quick, catching your chin with his hand and turning your head back so that he could look you in the eyes.

He raised an eyebrow at you and you sighed, rolling your eyes once more. “Monse called me a Santo slut.” You said, and quickly continued. “But it’s fine! I’m used to her poor impulse control at this point. I know she didn’t mean it, and I’m aware enough of my own worth to know it’s not true.”

His eyes turned cold, all emotion falling from his face. He pushed himself away from you and brought a hand up to his face, pulling it over his mouth and chin before turning around.

You quickly jumped into action, shooting your hand out and catching his wrist before he could get anywhere. "Hey, where are you going?"

Turning back around to face you, he gave you another nod, his face now pulled into a glare. "To give those little shits a piece of my mind." He said, Spanish accent thick with anger.

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his torso to hold him in place. "No, baby, murder is illegal, remember?” You attempted to joke, but his face didn’t betray any emotion.

“Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?”

“That’s called a threat.”

He pulled his hand over his mouth again, but made no more move to walk away, placing his hands back on your waist and leaning his head back down to yours. “You’ve done nothing but help Cesar and those other putas, especially Monse.” He spat. “You don’t deserve that kind of shit.”

“I know I don’t.” You agreed. “Which is exactly why I came here.”

You put on a smile, grabbing his face in your hands and pulling him in for a kiss without another word.

You were still pissed about your fight with Monse, but you knew them well enough to know that they would drop their childish stubbornness and come around sooner or later. They always did whenever you would tell them off.

Oscar pulled you tighter against him, hands sliding down to grab your ass in his hands, giving you a good squeeze.

You chuckled against his lips when Sad Eyes yelled out a crude comment, the other Santos following shortly behind.

When you pulled apart, Oscar pulled you into his arms, your cheek pressing against his chest and his face burying in your hair. “I would never do anything to hurt you.” He mumbled into your hair while holding you close. “I hope that you know that, mamas.”

“Of course, I do.” You agreed, hugging him back. “Don’t let it get to you. They’re just kids.”

When you said those words out loud, it really dawned on you that it was the actual truth, that it was your reality.

You were a nineteen-year-old hanging out with a bunch of fifteen-year-olds every day, playing babysitter and personal butler in exchange for little to no gratefulness.

You were certain that they would come around once their, or more specifically, Monse’s, anger died down, but this time, when this happened, you needed to set some boundaries and make some changes.

You spent the rest of your afternoon with Oscar and his Santos outside on the lawn, laughing and feeling as safe as ever in your boyfriend’s arms.

Meanwhile, the kids were beginning to come to their senses back at Ruby’s house after Cesar’s call with his dad, in which he had told his youngest son that him leaving had nothing to do with Oscar and that he ought to show his older brother some more respect.

They were finally beginning to understand how badly they had treated you and how much they had taken you for granted this entire time and Monse felt worse than anyone, guilt eating her up from the inside.

So after talking themselves together, they headed out for the place they just knew you would be at.

By the time they walked up in front of the Diaz residence, most of the other Santos had gone home or out to do God knows what, leaving only you, Oscar, Sad Eyes and two other Santos on his porch.

Oscar was sitting on the wall, smoking a cigarette with his arm slung over your shoulder where you stood leaned between his legs, talking to him and Sad Eyes.

The kids watched as all of them laughed at something you said, Oscar looking down at you with a look they’d never seen on his face before.

"He's laughing." Monse pointed out from the other side of the street, watching yours and Oscar’s exchanged with sad eyes. “I’ve never seen him laugh like that before.”

“Well, I have.” Cesar told them, smiling faintly as he watched his older brother brush a strand of hair out of your face when you looked up at him. “And that’s sincere.”

Ruby sighed, watching the scene unfold alongside his friends. “She was really right, huh?” He asked. “He cares about her.”

“Looks like it, yeah.” Jamal agreed, not even half as depressed as the rest of them since he hadn’t partaken in the argument at all, his conscience free. “Let’s go before his happy mood falters.” He added simply, before starting to walk over the road, forcing the others to follow.

Oscar was the first one to notice them approaching, softly moving you out of the way so that he could get down from the wall and stand next to you.

He threw his cigarette on the grass and only then, you noticed them approaching. Your eyes met Monse’s immediately, but before you could say anything, Oscar walked to meet them in the middle, speaking for you.

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage for one day?” His stern voice sounded, silencing any previous conversation.

While Sad Eyes signaled for the other Santos to go inside, them following him without any protest, you followed Oscar to meet the kids on the lawn.

“We came to apologize.” Monse was the one to speak, staring straight at the infamous Spooky with little to no fear in her eyes.

Her gaze shifted to you, and your face instantly turned stern. “I’m not the one you owe an apology.” You told them all, and Ruby instantly shrunk back into himself.

“What did you tell him?” He asked, and before you could answer, Oscar spoke up for you for the second time.

“All of it.”

Jamal and Ruby exchanged a look.

“We’re sorry we talked bad about you, Mr. Spooky, sir.” Jamal was the first one to apologize. “We’re very grateful for everything you and the Santos do to keep the neighborhood safe.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry.” Ruby agreed, nodding his head.

Your eyebrows rose, not being able to comprehend why they were the ones to apologize when they hadn’t been the ones talking the biggest.

Oscar knew this of course, but he didn’t care about himself at this moment, he only cared about you.

He reached a hand up to squeeze your shoulder, turning to nod at Monse. “Your turn, chica.” He glowered at her, silently motioning towards you with his head.

She swallowed, and looked at you nervously. “Can we do this without an audience?” She asked, her voice small and her hands twisting together in front of her.

You wasted no time in nodding, but before you could tell them to go away, Cesar stepped up and looked at his brother with an equally as guilty look. “Can we talk, mano?”

Oscar gave him a once over, but nodded, wordlessly walking toward the porch, leaving you to look at Jamal and Ruby.

The former nodded his head, taking the latter under his arm. “Alright, I can tell when I’m not wanted.” He spoke playfully, before leading Ruby over to the side and leaving you and Monse alone to talk.

You could still feel their eyes burning holes into the side of your face, but now that they were out of earshot, Monse sighed, looking down briefly before looking back up to meet your eyes.

“I’m sorry for everything I said.” She apologized sadly. “I didn’t mean any of it. You’re not a Santo slut, you’re…”

She trailed off, looking unsure of herself, but you patiently waited, listening as she sighed again and watching her kick her foot nervously while looking to the side. “You’re like my sister. I got so attached to you when you were there for me through everything with Cesar and my mom and I just- I felt like I was losing you, I guess. It’s silly.”

All the previous annoyance melted right off when hearing her words and your head automatically shook.

“If that’s how you feel, then it’s not silly.” You disagreed, causing her eyes to flicker back up to yours. “I wouldn’t leave you, never. Me being with Oscar would never come in the way of me being there for you. You know I see you like my little sister.”

She brought her hand up to hold her arm, looking down to the ground guiltily, so you did the only thing you could think of, reaching out to grab her shoulder and pull her into an embrace.

Her arms instantly wrapped around your waist, her cheek leaning on your shoulder. “I’m sorry for always taking you for granted.” She mumbled. “I was so caught up thinking about myself that I never really realized just how much you’ve been there for me.”

“And I’m sorry, too.” You mumbled back, pressing your cheek against her head. “For keeping this all from you and yelling at you, and all that.”

She squeezed you tighter, holding the embrace for another moment, before breaking apart and smiling at you, reaching her hand out. “Friends?”

Her smile was contagious, causing an identical one to spread across your lips. “Best friends.” You agreed, grabbing her hand in yours and giving it a shake.

“But with all due respect, all of this made me realize it’s high time that I start hanging out with people my own age.” You quickly added, and she laughed, nodding her head.

“That’s fair. I get it.” She agreed. “But we’ll still have our Saturday movie nights, though, right?”

“Duh.” You answered, and before either of you could say anything else, Jamal and Ruby shuffled back over, the latter still stuck under the former’s arm.

“Is everything cool? Are we all friends again?” Jamal quickly asked, looking between you. “You were smiling so we just thought-”

“Yeah, everything’s good.�� Monse interrupted him with a smile.

You took her under your arm. “Come on.” You told them, beginning to lead her towards the house where Oscar and Cesar were now hugging it out, too, Jamal and Ruby trailing behind you.

The brothers broke apart when they heard you approaching and you instantly looked to the youngest of them, offering him an apologetic smile. “Hey, I’m sorry for going off at you earlier.” You said and he wasted no time in shaking his head.

“Nah, it’s cool. I deserved it.”

“What did you say to him?” Oscar asked, raising an eyebrow and looking between the two of you.

Jamal quickly took the wheel, stepping forward with an excessively excited expression on his face. “She called him a cheating piece of shit. It was awesome.” He rushed out in one breath.

Cesar looked to the side awkwardly as he was once again reminded of his fuck-up. “Yeah, thanks.” He chuckled.

Oscar chuckled with him, giving you a smirk. “Damn, mami. You did my mano dirty, huh?”

“She was defending you, I had it coming.” Cesar offered you a smile, and you smiled back.

Realizing the conversation was over, Oscar took it upon himself to change the subject, nodding at the teenagers in front of him.

“You gamberros hungry?” He asked, and all of them instantly turned nervous under his intimidating stare.

But still, Ruby and Jamal looked at each other and shrugged, before looking back to the gang leader in front of them. “I could eat.” Ruby answered, and as everyone made some kind of sound of agreement, Oscar nodded his head back to the house.

“Vamos.” He told you, and without another word, he took his mano under his arm and started walking with him inside, none of you far behind and all of you content now that all was forgiven.

Translations (I’m not a native Spanish speaker so this might not be a hundred percent accurate):

Mano - brother

Gamberros - troublemakers

Vamos - come on

Tagged: @babienay @firebenderwolf @fairygardenss @moanlightbaby @dolanackles @marvelously-flawed @ugh-jalynn @jazzwhitlockhale @spookysnena @chaneajoyyy

#oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz imagine #oscar diaz #oscar spooky diaz #spooky #spooky diaz #spooky x reader #on my block #on my block imagine #on my block x reader #omb imagine #omb #omb x reader #ruby martinez #monse finnie #cesar x reader #jamal turned

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verobatto · 3 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Breaking Walls (Part. II)

(12x22)

Hello my friends! We are about to finish the metas from season 12.

This time we will talk about Leader!Sam and the Foreshadow of Healing!Dean from season 14.

Trapped

The episode opens with Sam, Dean and Toni locked inside the bunker, trying desperately to find a way out.

The curious point of it, is that they will try a spell to break free...

SAM: Seems like pretty basic ingredients. Nothing we don't already have. Oh. (...) The mechanisms “must be anointed with the blood of virgins.” (...) I mean, I've read half a dozen purification rituals in the last hour. If we used one of those on – on our blood...

DEAN: Then what? Revirginize it?

SAM: Maybe.

TONI: So we purify the blood, then do the spell.

Focusing on the symbolism here, first of all, the bunker becoming a trap, and the boys trying to scape from it, is a foreshadow of Dean trapped in his own body, possesed by AU!Michael. But then the spell they choose, need purity, virginity, clean blood.

Purity will be a relevant point in season 14 as the goal searched for AU!Michael and as a recalling to Purgatory, foreshadowing Purgatory 2.0 in season 15.

So when Toni says WE PURIFY THE BLOOD AND THEN DO THE SPELL, she's giving us the prelude for Healing!Dean in season 14. The path Dean will take to purify his soul, to really grow after being possesed, and facing himself. He will have to find his own in once to break free from Michael, and his emotional prison.

While talking about the way Dean had pictured his death, this is the face he made when they mentioned "blaze of glory"

Gif credit @jaredandjensen

Which is not the face you would do if you really wanted to die of that. Dean is, at this point, as he was in season 10, considering his options, he is growing up and the blasting idea of die as "blaze of glory" is not what he really wants for himself.

When we heard his confession in season 10 and then we saw him meeting Jesse and Cesar in Season 11, we can infer what's in his heart. What he really wants. Curiously, the topic of season 14.

The explosion Dean made on the wall to break free, is a symbolic representation of the big turning point in his life when he lost Castiel.

Breaking down the walls

The mention of Jericho at the beginning of the episode refers to "break down the walls".

Jericho's battle, described by the bible, was the first battle israelites to conquer Canaan. Jericho was powerfully guarded by wall, they were able to break down in the seventh day of the battle.

What this has to do with this episode? Well. Is an episode that shows us a lot of wall that fall and break down. First of all, the bunker becoming a prison, Dean broke the wall. Now is time to break emotional/psychological wall: when he gets inside Mary's mind, trying to reach her through a very emotional speech, he will be breaking those walls, and at the same time, he will be foreshadowing Cas and Sam getting inside his head to reach him, in his emotional prison in 14x09.

Dean reached Mary through family love, but it was necessary two kind of loves to break Dean's walls: Sam (family love) and Cas (romantic love) in season 14.

The speech Dean gave to his mom to reach her is the self knowledge about his traumas.

And because is a Berens episode, we have the parallels between scenes, to show us a message.

In one scene we have Sam trying to break down the walls of British Man of Letters to defeat them, guiding a team of hunters, foreshadowing his leadership in season 14.

And in the other scene, we have Dean trying to break down his mom's walls from her emotional prison.

Bot scenes interrelated with the profound meaning that will have Dean's possesion by AU!Michael.

The way Dean's speech to reach his mother is a reflection of his own self, is the perfect philosophical path he will take in season 14: Self discovering, self acceptance.

So, we can infer that the parallel between Sam's battle against BMoL is a reflection of Dean's battle to reach his mother, but at the same time, Dean's future inner battle to break free from his emotional prison.

Sam defeats and kills the head of BMoL, releasing the american hunter's from her. Just like Dean will release his mother from the mental control. And just like Dean will break free from his emotional prison in season 14.

Dean's self aknowledgment of his traumas

When Dean arrives to his mother's mind, he finds her younger, taking care of him and Sam before she died. Is a perfect (fake) world her own mind had created to keep her away from the reality, because the reality hurts. This is the perfect parallel to 14x09, when Sam and CAS find Dean in the Rocky's bar.

DEAN: Look, I know that they messed with your head, okay? I know it feels better in here. It feels safer. (...) Mom, look at me. (...) You're choosing this.

Dean is aware his mother is trapped in her own mind, her own emotional prison. That's not real. This way he is mourning his childhood's mother too. Because he faces her, and he tries to drag her back to what she is now.

DEAN: You promised you'd keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad's life, but I'll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing in to Sammy's room, because of your deal. (Mary turns abruptly and walks past Dean to Sam’s crib in the living room) You left us. Alone. 'Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family... was gone.

Okay, i will make a cut here. When Dean starts the speech that will make Mary to break free, he starts saying YOU PROMISE ME YOU'D KEEP ME SAFE. He's talking about him, here, that's why I said that in this same speech Dean Winchester finds himself, his traumas, as the begining of his healing journey. Then, he narrates the big scene that changed his life forever. That day he went from a normal kid to have a hard life. YOU LEFT US is pointing at the demand to his mother, the empty space that must be filled (by Dean). Something he had in his heart, burried. Is te request of that little 4 years old kid. DAD WAS JUST A SHELL is also demanding to John Winchester for not be for them as he should. He was a shell, empty spot it must be filled. (By Dean). The perfect wife and mom doesn't exist, it was a fantasy Dean kept in his mind, it was the image he had of Mary Winchester. The image of the little boy. The perfect family, gone. Remarks the mourn Dean is doing, as an exercise while talking to his mother.

Gif set credit @littlehobbit13

Dean's aknowledgment of his role in Sam's life brings him sorrow and pain, because as he will continue saying, he feels he failed.

DEAN: And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it. And you wanna know what that was like?

They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you.

Even when Dean is taking all of the bad things that happened to Sam on his back, he shows his mother she started it all. But look how Dean carries with all these curses.

DEAN: I hate you. I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything.

Okay, this is very deep. First of all, we have Dean starting his ILY journey right here. The firsts words are said by his innocent heart, the 4 years old kid is talking here: I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, is the duality of his feelings, his deep fears, and his repressed emotions. He hates his mother Because he had to go through all of that, and because Sammy had to go through all of that because of her mistakes. So, as the child he was once, he says I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOM. Then, it comes the grown up man talking, as an adult, Dean is able to understand and forgive Mary's mistakes. Now that he is a man, he can connect with his mother's errors. And he is able to forgive her, reaching that peace he needed in his heart with her and with himself.

DEAN: On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

This, this is huge. Why? Because is a parallel to the mixtape scene. Look how Dean mentions 'YOU, ME, SAM', there's not doubt, not head tilting, no regrets as it was in the mixtape scene, why? Because there's no doubts Dean is talking about FAMILY, and not RANTIC LOVE HERE. In the mixtape scene he puts Sam as a shield, because he needed to protect himself from his own feelings YOU, ME (CAS/DEAN) it wouldeant JUST CAS AND HIM, THE TWP OF THEM, ROMANCE. GAY. But putting Sam there, he turns that into FAMILY. Now, there's not doubts in this scene, because Dean is talking about family. There's not shield needed. Family: YOU, ME, SAM. In both scenes he is asking for a new beginning, work toge as a family. But in the mixtape scene there was this romantic tension giving it an all different meaning.

When Dean asks his mom to really look at him, is the way he will bring her back to reality. Because the grown up man in front of h is the real one, his real son. The same will happen with Dean being possesed by AU!Michael, in which Dean will be able to see himself as he really is.

To Conclude:

This episode was full of symbolism, but the main topic was how to break walls, emotional walls, as a prelude to season 14, in which we will have Healing!Dean and Leader!Sam.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one, will be the last from season 12!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII, LXXXVIII, LXXXIX, XC.

Buenos Aires, December 6th 2020, 6:59 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 12 meta #vol. XCI

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whore4anime · 4 years

Text

My Fault- Oscar Diaz

This was requested but anonymously

Pairings- Oscar “Spooky” Diaz x Reader

Summary- You have abusive parents and Oscar finds bruises all over your body. Vowing to never let anyone ever touch you Oscar goes to your house and things don't end so well for your parents.

Warnings- This mentions and talks about physically and mentally abusive parents if you are easily triggered please do not read.

(Credit to owner of this gif I think @merakiaes I've saved so many gifs so idk man)

“Stupid bitch” My father said as he pulled his hand back and slapped me. My hand instantly going up to touch my cheek the sting getting worse. Tears began to form in my eye.

“I-I’m sorry” I mumbled looking up at my ad from where I sat on the floor cleaning up the drink I spilled. “Yeah you better be sorry Puta! That was my cerveza!” He yelled kicking me in the stomach. Tears fell and I gasped for air holding my stomach. That’s when I wished I wasn’t there anymore but with Oscar.

“Finish cleaning this shit up” my father walked away. I was glad my mom wasn’t here it was always worse when she was there. They always liked to gang up on me. They’d leave black eyes, bruises, and cuts all over my body from beating up on me.

I wish I could leave but I couldn’t bare to leave my sister there with them. I always took the beatings so she didn’t have to. I began to scrub the carpets tears still falling down my red cheeks.

Once I finished cleaning the spilled beer I went to my room closing the door quietly and getting my phone from where I hid it last. Oscar had gotten it for me so I can text him knowing that I didn’t have a phone of my own.

I had a text from Oscar, “Good morning mi amor”. I smiled to myself looking up at the door making sure no one was coming into my room before I sent a message to him. “Morning baby” I quickly replied putting my phone under my pillow waiting for a reply.

I began to get ready for work covering the bruise on my neck with an insane amount of concealer. The bruise was from yesterday when my dad held be against the wall by my neck.

I changed my shirt seeing the bruises on my rubs from where he kicked me today. I was use to the mental abuse by now but after getting kicked and slapped after so long it starts to hurt not just physically.

Makes me wonder if I even need to be here anymore. Wishing every night that I didn’t have a little sister look after and that I didn’t have a boyfriend waiting for me to get out of here.

Wishing that no one cared anymore so I didn’t have to either.

I pushed the thoughts going through my head away and finished getting ready for work. Putting on the casual face of makeup I always wore eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss. I grabbed my phone that was still hidden under my pillow I got message from Oscar. “You on your way to work? Want me to watch y/s/n?” I smiled at how he always looked out for me.

I would have him watch y/s/n when my parents were to drunk and were being abusive. I quickly replied “Yeah ill drop her off in 10 minutes” I quickly put my phone in my purse.

I walked to my little sisters room. She sat on her bed reading the book I got her for her birthday. She was 13 years old. She was 5 years younger than me. I planned on moving out as soon as possible and taking her with me but I don’t have enough money saved up.

“Y/s/n get ready you’re gonna stay with Oscar till I get off work” she nodded her head and smiled in response she loved Oscar. She slipped her shoes on and put her hair into a high ponytail. “I’m ready.” She said walking over to me.

Our dad was already passed out on the couch with a beer bottle in his hand. Our mom who knows where she was at.

We walked to Oscars since he only lived a block from my house. “Ill pick you up around 4 okay?” I said knowing that we would probably hang around Oscar a little longer after I get off work. “Okay” she said looking down at her feet.

Once we got to Oscar house I was greeted by several Santos that hung around Oscars house everyday for some reason. I saw Oscar get up from were he was sitting on the porch. A smile growing on his face “Hey princesa” he said giving me a kiss and then greeting y/s/n.

“Hey papi” I said returning the kiss. “Cesars inside if you wanna go hang with him” Oscar said turning his attention to your sister who was awkwardly standing there. She gave him a smile and began to walk inside all of the Santos now greeting the shy 13 year old.

“Okay well I have to go to work I’ll be back at 4 okay?” I said giving him another kiss “Okay I love you” He said pulling me in for a longer kiss. I pulled away from his soft plump lips, “I love you too”.

I pulled away thanking God that he didn’t notice the bruises on my neck and cheek that were poorly covered. Oscar would have went to my house and beat the shit out of my dad. Which he promised me he would do last time I showed up to his house with bruises.

“Bye Najiy” I said waving at one of my friends I worked with. When I walked out I saw the iconic red cherry impala that you loved seeing. Not because it was a nice car but because it meant your favorite person was close.

I walked towards the man leaning against the cherry red impala “Hey baby” he said a smile growing on his face. I walked over putting my hands around his neck “Hola papi.” “Hey mama, how was work?” He said giving you a kiss and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“It was good. I’m tired and my back hurts though and there was this one rude costumer that I couldn’t go off on.” Oscar chuckled at I waved my finger when talking about the rude costumer.

“How about we go back to my place and I give you a back massage while you tell me all about this rude costumer.” Oscar lifted his brow and smirking to see what I thought about his idea. “Deal” I replied pulling away from his arms and he opened the door for me.

Once we got home Cesar and Y/s/n were sitting down on the couch watching a movie a little bit to close. But that back massage was calling my name so I would deal with that later. I walked into Oscars room and took off my shirt because back rub were so much better skin to skin.

“What the fuck happened?” Oscar said coming up to me and touching my bruised stomach. Fuck. “It-It’s nothing I..” I paused trying to think of an excuse “ran into a pole” I blurted out. His eyes and hands now examining the rest of my body he quickly found the bruise on my neck in the shape of a hand. Then soon finding the one on my cheek. “Y/n what the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me?

“Don’t fucking lie to me y/n.” Oscar said looking back up into my eyes. His eyes no longer brown but black, I feared for what was going to my dad. “It was my fault” I said making excuses for the man who physically and mentally abuses me everyday.

I don’t know why, I don’t owe him anything but I couldn’t seem to get the thought that it was my fault. “I dropped his drink all over the carpet…it’s my fault.” I said a tear now falling down my cheek.

“Mi amor,” Oscar said now wiping away the tear with his hand leaving his hand on my face. His facial expression now looks hurt. “no one deserves this. No es tu culpa mamas. I made a promise to you that I would never let anyone touch you again not after last time, and if they did they would regret it.” He said now focusing his attention back to what my father did. He kissed his teeth, “I can’t let him get away with this.” Oscar made his way out of the room and I quickly put my shirt back on to chase after him.

“Oscar p-please no!” I shouted chasing after him. Cesar and my sister getting up to my yell. “What happened?” Cesar asked looking at me worried and then back at Oscar who now slammed the door shut.

“Y/s/n we need to go. Cesar come help me get your brother under control.” I said tears still falling down my face. I heard Oscars car pull out of the driveway. I ran as fast as I could back to my house hoping I could make it before Oscar killed my dad.

I ran inside the door open my eyes going to the sound of a smack from Oscars fist connecting to my dads jaw. “Oscar stop! You’re going to kill him!” I cried out Oscars fists still hitting my dad.

I ran towards Oscar… Well now Spooky and tried to pull him off. Cesar soon coming in and helping me get him off of him. “If you ever touch her again voy a matarte!” Oscar yelled pointing his finger at my dad who laid on the floor blood all over his face.

“Y/n and y/s/n get your stuff you guys are moving in with me.” He said looking at me and then at my sister who was now crying and being hugged by Cesar. I looked at my dad then to Oscar. I didn’t know whether to be grateful or mad. I knew I should be grateful but that’s my dad he wasn’t always like this.

But my gut told me to get my stuff and get out of there. I ran to my room and grabbed some of my clothes and everything I needed so did y/s/n.

I got into Oscars car my hands trembling from what just happened. Oscar saw this and put his bloody hand on mine trying to calm me down. “It’s gonna be okay.” He said glancing over at me. I nodded my head a few more tears now falling.

I laid in Oscars bed staring up at the ceiling looking back at everything that happened today. Oscar broke the silence, “As long as you’re with me no one will touch you.” I moved my head and placed it on his bare chest my hand moving in circular motions on his chest.

“I love you Osc.” I was now looking up at him into his soft brown eyes. “I love you to princesa.”

Taglist- @babienay @dcpcnxx @merakiaes @amethyst09 @firebenderwolf @dolanackles @flamingweasley @tinydramatist

#oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz x reader Imagine #Oscar diaz #on my block #Netflix #Netflix imagine #spookysnena #omb #cesar diaz

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oscars-wifeyyy · 4 years

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Chapter 4 (The Innocent)

Masterlist

Halloween finally came around and traditional shut in was happening at Ruby’s, like usual, and the crew was there, sans Cesar. Monse, Jamal, and Elizabeth were in costume while Olivia was getting into hers inside her room. Monse was a lifeguard, Jamal was a hospital patient, Elizabeth was Harley Quinn from the Suicide Squad, and Ruby was a vampire.

“Eighty-six the chat and focus,” Ruby interrupted the talking, “this is gonna be our best shut in ever. But we have to follow protocol,”

“Dude, we know the drill,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“This year’s gonna be different. It’s not about our survival. It’s about Olivia. There was magic in our first dance,” Ruby sighed.

“Have you guys been to Brentwood?” Jamal asked from the dining table.

“I haven’t, J,” Elizabeth turned to face him.

“My parents are out so I set up touch control LED lighting,” Ruby turned the lights on, “Bordello Red. Nightmare on Elm Street us gonna get Olivia scared…” Ruby sat on the couch, “a little lappy,”

“You know that’s creepy, right?” Monse asked.

“One step ahead of you,” Ruby grabbed the blanket over the couch, “little cover in case of wood,”

“Speaking of wood, Brentwood sounds kind of fun,” Jamal tried to get his ideas on the table.

Elizabeth looked around at the couches, “where is Cesar sitting?”

“In Oscar’s Impala,” Ruby replied.

“He’s not coming? Why? It’s tradition,” Monse rushed out.

“Who cares?” Ruby shrugged.

The door busted open and Cesar walked into the house, “shut in!”

“B-but I thought you were with Oscar?” Ruby stuttered, looking horrified at the sight of his best friend in the house.

“Good to see you too,” Cesar smiled sarcastically.

“Nice costume, Julius,” Elizabeth chuckled as the two did their own handshake.

“No, it’s fine. It’s just…”Ruby sighed, “take a seat, any seat,” Cesar moved to sit on the loveseat, but Ruby quickly shoved him away, “not the loveseat and don’t block my scented candle,”

Olivia walked out of her room with her costume on, “What do you think?”

Ruby looked stunned and grabbed the blanket, “that looks nice,”

“When are we going out?” the new girl asked the group.

“Never. Trick or treating in Freeridge is a no go,” Ruby said.

“Why?”

“You might wanna sit down. I’ll be brief,” Ruby sat down on the loveseat with Olivia, “In 2012, Prohets rolled up on us. Glocks to our head and snatched our bags. 2013, we were kissing pavement all night. Caught in a drive-by. That night we lost our candy and perhaps out innocence,”

“Can we talk?” Monse asked Cesar.

“I’m good,” Cesar responded.

Elizabeth grabbed both of their arms and pulled them to the hallway, “listen here, estupidos. Y’all are going to talk and chop it up. Bye, I need to piss,”

By the time she got back, she realized that they were going to Brentwood for Halloween, but she wasn’t complaining because they gave out big candy bars. Abuelita came in and ushered the kids inside her car so she could drive them to Brentwood. After the hour drive, they arrived at sun down and the kids were exiting.

“Buena suerte,” Abuelita smiled at the kids.

“We don’t need luck,” Ruby chuckled, “It’s Brentwood. Nothing bad happens here,”

“How about OJ?” Cesar brought up, “no offense, Jamal,”

“Oh, I’m good. We don’t claim him,”

“So, we should be ready around ten,” Ruby leaned in the window.

“Good for you, but I have plans,” Abuelita said, driving off.

The six turned towards the neighborhood, “we are not in Freeride anymore,”

“We have lots of ground to cover, so to maximize candy efficiency, let’s divide and conquer then split our booty,” Jamal faced the crew.

“Great idea. Olivia and I will go this way. Meet back here at 10?” Ruby dragged Olivia in one direction.

“Jamal,” Cesar and Monse said together.

“On second thought, I’ll go with Eli,” Cesar walked to Elizabeth.

The crew split ways and once Elizabeth and Cesar were out of earshot from the crew she started asking Cesar questions, “wassup with you and Monse?”

“The night of homecoming, Monse said that I wasn’t safe,” Cesar sighed, “it sucks because it’s true,”

“Salad, I know it hurt when she said that, but give her time,” Elizabeth wrapped an arm around him, “after all you are a new Santo and she never dated one either,”

“You’re probably right,” Cesar smiled, “What’s up with you and my brother?”

“We are...getting closer,” Elizabeth cheesed really hard, “I told him about my dad and he took me to a pretty special place.

“You told him about tu papa?” Cesar asked, shocked with the fact that she opened up to Oscar that much, “well I hope you guys work,”

“Yeah, but I don’t know how to do these things, like relationships and whatnot,” Elizabeth stressed, “I’ve never done this, but I’m starting it with this big bad gang leader,”

“I would tell you, but obviously mine isn’t going so great,” Cesar laughed.

“Headass,” Elizabeth laughed and caught sight of a familiar boy and girl, “ain’t that Ruby and Olivia?”

Cesar turned and saw the two, “yeah. Let’s go catch up,”

When the two finally caught up, they caught sight of the party across the street.

“You know what would be crazy cool?” Olivia asked Ruby, “if we crash that party,” she pointed at the house across the street.

“I don’t know. They look like the’re at capacity. We don’t wanna create a fire hazard,” Ruby stared at the house.

Elizabeth face palmed, but went to the two, “what’s up, guys! Olivia, if you could excuse us a second? Thank you,” “Compa,” Cesar looked at the short friend, “you need to not be you,”

“Me? What’s wrong with me?” Ruby looked at the two of them confused.

Cesar pointed to Elizabeth who started talking in a weird voice, “‘I don’t know. They look like the’re at capacity. We don’t wanna create a fire hazard,’ dude, be outside Ruben,”

“Take her to the party,” Cesar walked back to Olivia.

Ruby followed, “New plan. Let’s tear that party up!”

Ten minutes later into the party, Ruby was coming back to the group with a plate full of food and an excited expression on his face. He went to the couch where most of the crew was sitting at, “everyone here is so friendly. I told someone I was from Freeridge and got major props. Hood must be trending,” Ruby held out the plate out to Olivia, “here’s some napkins and lemon wedges,”

“You’re so thoughtful and always such a gentleman,” Olivia smiled.

“Gentleman, scholar, and a damn good swimmer too,” Cesar tried to hype Ruby up, but was going above and beyond.

Olivia handed the plate to Cesar, “Excuse me, it’s time for my adventure to find the restroom and wait in a long line,”

“I’ll come with,” Elizabeth smiled at the new girl.

“Awesome! Let’s go,” the two walked to find the restroom, “so, anyone special?”

Elizabeth chuckled, “maybe. I don’t know, we’re kinda just taking it slow,”

“Is it Cesar? You guys seem close,” Olivia looked down.

Elizabeth couldn’t help, but laugh, “definitely not. He’s just a friend, nothing more! However, this person that I’m taking it slow with is close with Cesar,”

The two finally arrived at the bathroom and paused the conversation until after Olivia was done using the restroom. After a few minutes, she emerged from the restroom and the two decided to go find something to drink and arrived in the kitchen, looking through the fridge, while Elizabeth settled with a soda in a bin.

“Is he in the group?” Olivia smiled big.

“Nope,” Elizabeth smirked, “you’re not gonna know, but I feel like you’re gonna end up finding out soon so I guess just wait,”

The two laughed when they made their way back to the boys, but saw a group of white boys talking to them. Elizabeth sat next to Cesar while Olivia stood next to her.

“Hey,” Olivia smiled.

The white boy dressed as a cholo saw the juice in her hand, ��Where’d you get that?”

“From the fridge,”

“That’s my mom’s pressed juice,”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Olivia started.

“She’s on a cleanse,” the white boy stressed, “she knows exactly how many bottles there are,”

“I had no idea. I just wanted a drink and I just assumed…” Olivia got cut off.

“What? That you could just go in and take it? There are drinks everywhere. There’s a whole bin of soda right there. You should have been smart like your… very sexy friend here,” white boy winked at Elizabeth who rolled her eyes, “why were you in the fridge?”

“I was thirsty. It’s just juice. It’s not a big deal,” Olivia shuffled her feet.

“Don’t tell me what’s a big deal, ok? Do people go into your house and take stuff out of your fridge?” The white boy asked the underprivileged kids.

“Yes,” the group said.

“What the hell is wrong with you people?” the white boy chuckled.

“Hold up,” Elizabeth stood up and towards the white boy, “you people?”

“Hey, just let it go,” Cesar held Elizabeth’s arm, but she shook it off.

“No, I’m not letting shit go. This white boy wants to be a little racist shit,” Elizabeth glared at the boy in front of her.

“Don’t you have any respect?” the white boy glared

“Dice que el gringo se viste como un cholo,” Elizabeth stood her ground.

“Excuse me, hoe? Excuse me?” the white boy stepped closer to Elizabeth.

“We don’t want any problems,” Cesar stood and moved to stand next to the hot headed girl.

“Exactly,” Ruby interfered, “I got her. How much is the juice?” Ruby started pulling out his wallet.

“Ok,” the white boy nodded, “fifty two dollars a bottle and twenty dollars each for all the food and drinks you had,”

“We don’t have that kind of money on us,” Olivia said.

“Of course you don’t,” The white boy said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Olivia glared.

“Just stating the obvious,” the white boy sarcastically smiled at Olivia then turned to Elizabeth, “how about you stay and I can show you a real man?”

“Now you’re just being a dick,” Olivia seethed.

“Dude, control your bitch,” white boy said to Ruby.

“You better apologize,” Cesar stood up to the white boy.

“Nah, he doesn’t have to apologize,” Elizabeth winked at Elizabeth.

“Exactly, gorgeous. How are we gonna settle up?” the white boy smirked.

“Like this,” Olivia said, opening the bottle and spilling it all over the floor.

The four soon ran as a person came up to them and handed the white boy and his group eggs. Eggs started being thrown and hit the four people as they ran farther away from the house with the group following. They ran into Jamal and Monse so they quickly told them to run, but it was too late when eggs were thrown at them as well. After a few more minutes of running, the crew stopped running and started trying to figure out how they were gonna get back, but Elizabeth caught sight of Cesar focused on his phone.

“Whatcha doing, compa?” Elizabeth asked Cesar.

“Askin’ your novio to come and handle it,” Cesar turned to the group, “don’t get a Lyft. It’s handled,” everyone except Monse looked confused, “it’s handled,”

Ten minutes later, Cesar and Elizabeth walked up to the house party and towards the white boy cholo. They met at the top step of the lawn and faced off.

“You want some more?” The white boy asked Cesar, but he didn’t respond, “you think you’re hard, ok. As for you, gorgeous, you come back to let me show you a man?”

“No I didn’t, gringo,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“I’m not, but he is,” Cesar looked back as the familiar Impala stopped in front of the house.

Oscar got out of the car and towards them as the music stopped and everyone looked scared. The Santo walked up to Elizabeth and held her chin to inspect her face and looked down to check out her body, “haces daño, bebé? Nice costume, too,”

“Yo estoy muy bien. simplemente hacer lo que tienes que hacer y vamos a ir,” Elizabeth crossed her arm as yolk ran down her cheek.

Oscar kissed Elizabeth’s cheek and wiped off the yolk before walking up to the white boy. He looked at his face before licking his thumb, wiping off the tear tattoo, and copied the action on his own, but his didn’t come off.

“This shit’s real,” Oscar glared.

“What do you want?” The white boy whimpered.

Oscar looked at Cesar who responded, “all of your pressed juices, candy, and an apology to Elizabeth,”

Those words caught Oscar’s attention, “what did you do to my girl, cabron?”

“Nothing, man,” the white boy stuttered, “boys, get what they asked already!”

“Boy, if you don’t stop lying,” Elizabeth glared at the boy, “didn’t you call me a hoe? Don’t back up now when an actual man steps up. You say you could show me a real man, right? Where is he now?”

“I-I-I’m s-sorry,”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, but nodded before throwing her fist at his face and watched as he fell back on his butt with a mouthful of blood. His group walked back out with all the stuff and quickly shoved it into their awaiting arms.

Oscar laughed at the boy silently crying at the punch before leaning down, “so where is the real man? I’m curious to see how you could handle a baddie like her pero we ain’t gonna know,”

The group was now piling into the back of Oscar’s Impala with their own arms full of the things that were given while Cesar sat in the front with Elizabeth in between them.

“Where to, hermanito?” Oscar asked Cesar.

“Ruby’s” Cesar said.

The ride was quiet and after tonight’s events, Elizabeth was tired as she yawned and felt her eyes close when she felt something touch her left thigh, but she didn’t mind, knowing it was Oscar who laid his hand on it. She slowly drifted off as her head lolled to Oscar’s shoulder after a right turn and soft snores filled the air with the music playing softly in the background.

“Aye, anyone of you, grab the flannel that’s there somewhere and give it to Cesar,” the freshmen in the back shuffled fast and quickly handed it to Cesar, “Cesar, lay it on her pero don’t wake her up,”

Half an hour later, they were in front of Ruby’s house and Elizabeth felt the stop so she opened her eyes with a groan. Her eyes caught sight of Ruby’s house and saw the position she was in causing her cheeks to grow ablaze and quickly got out of the car to let the crew out while Oscar smirked at the girl, but saw the red on her knuckles. Monse left shortly after leaving the crew to go inside and Elizabeth was about to make her way inside, but Oscar called out to her.

“Eli! Get back inside. I’m gonna take you home,”

Elizabeth shrugged and went back inside the car. They drove in silence and arrived at Oscar’s house, but Elizabeth was confused.

“What are we doing here?” Elizabeth asked the man.

“I gotta patch you up, mamita,” Oscar grabbed her bruised hand and held it up, “now get your ass inside,”

“Bossy much?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes, but a smile emerged onto her lips.

The two got inside and Oscar led her into the bathroom, lifting her up so she could sit on the counter. He shuffled through the cabinet to get the first aid kit as Elizabeth sat patiently while swinging her legs back and forth. Finally, Oscar got the kit and took her hand after he doused a cotton pad with alcohol to clean her knuckles before wrapping it in gauze to prevent infections. Elizabeth smiled at his gentle touch, but it didn’t get past Oscar when he looked up.

“Que?” Oscar raised an eyebrow.

“Nada,” Elizabeth shrugged, “it’s just Spooky got a soft touch for a gang leader,”

“Callate, pendeja,” Oscar scoffed, “it’s only ‘cause it’s you,”

“Oh my God,” Elizabeth put her uninjured hand on her chest, above her heart, “the Spooky is becoming soft because of me,”

The two just stared before laughing at the impersonation of the hormonal women that were afraid of him, but still swooned over his beauty. After they were done, Cesar walked in looking stressed, but Elizabeth pushed it aside, thinking it was over Monse. Oscar was staring at the girl that was in front of him when her eyes closed due to the events from that night.

“Are your parents gonna be home tonight?” Oscar asked.

Elizabeth shook her head, “my mom picked up double shifts,”

Oscar nodded, picking the small girl up causing her to wrap her legs around him so she didn’t fall on her ass. He walked the two of them into his room and plopped her onto the bed before taking off his tank top before laying down next to her. The two laid next to each other in complete silence until they let their eyes closed and their bodies give way to the sleepy feeling.

@lostgirl219 @love-me-91393

#on my block #Oscar Diaz #oscar spooky diaz #oscar diaz imagine #oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz imagines #spooky diaz #spooky diaz x reader #spooky diaz imagines #spooky diaz imagine #julio macias #julio macias fanfic #julio macias fanfiction #cesar diaz #monse finnie #Jamal Turner #ruby martinez

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happymeishappylife · 3 years

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Prep for the 60th: 2nd Season of Doctor Who

“One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.”

The second season of Doctor Who begins to introduce us to the fundamental concept of Doctor Who and that is change. This season we begin to see why change makes the show work and makes the show last. But of course there are tears, smiles, and memories that established with every departure and yet excitement over the possibilities that can now come with fresh faces and voices. So beginning with the TARDIS team, this is how the season started:

(From left: The Doctor, Ian Chesterton, Susan Foreman, and Barbara Wright)

And this is the TARDIS team jumping into season three:

(From left: Vicki, The Doctor, and Steven Taylor)

With the departures of Susan, Ian, and Barbara, we get a fresh new start to what it means to be a TARDIS team and travel with the Doctor. And one of things Classic Who does really well in my opinion is the blending of teams as people leave and join the team, plus there aren’t catastrophic moments when a companion departs even if you might not like it (like I did with Susan). Still with a fresh TARDIS team, let’s introduce the new companions.

Vicki Pallister is a sixteen year old girl from Earth from the 25th century. She is rescued by the Doctor, Ian, and Barbara after her spacecraft crash lands on the planet Dido and she is lied to by a convict who has killed the rest of the crew, including Vicki’s father, to avoid being locked up again. Thankfully, she gets picked up by the Doctor who fresh off the emotions of leaving his real granddaughter behind, takes Vicki lovingly into his world.

Steven Taylor, is also from the future though its unclear which era exactly he comes from. He is found on the planet Mechanus where after crash landing, he has been held prisoner by the Mechanoids for over two years on his own. Once he meets the Doctor, Barbara, Ian, and Vicki, he gets energized to escape, but its chaotic when the Daleks start battling the Mechanoids. So at first you don’t think he makes it into the TARDIS, but after one serial, I’m glad he stole away because he’s a fun guy to get to know.

The serials:

1. Planet of Giants

This serial introduces the first instance where something wrong can happen to the TARDIS and the team has to deal with it in whatever situation they find themselves in. In this case, something affects the TARDIS’ materialization that causes the TARDIS to not fully materialize at its full size, but instead at a miniature level. So while the Doctor and Susan are climbing sink drains and Ian and Barbara are dealing with giant insects and insecticide, what the team doesn’t realize is they inadvertently help prevent this extremely toxic chemical from going to the market by being present while full size humans are murdering each other over money. Overall Rating: 7/10

2. The Dalek Invasion of Earth

The Daleks have conquered Earth in the year 2164 and are in the process of extracting the core of the planet and replacing it with a machine to allow them to pilot the planet. It’s a crazy plan, but even though they’ve conquered Earth and enslaved humans to force slavery onto other humans, there entire plan falls apart when the TARDIS lands and the team finds ways to stop them and embolden the humans of Earth. But this is the first episode of goodbyes because the Doctor makes the decision to leave Susan behind so that she can explore her wish to belong somewhere and follow her dreams without him. Overall Rating: 8/10

3. The Rescue

The Doctor is surprised when they land on the planet Dido, a place he’s been before, that the inhabitants are gone and in there place is a few monsters and a crashed spaceship. He then helps discover the true reason for this, that Koquillion isn’t a true resident of Dido, but Bennet who has not only killed his crew and some of the Dido people in order to be rescued by Earth and not still be convicted of his previous crimes. Foiling his plan, the Doctor also takes Vicki Pallister into the TARDIS once she tells them she’s been orphaned due to Bennet’s actions. Plus missing his granddaughter, the Doctor immediately latches onto Vicki who is need of care. Overall Rating: 8/10

4. The Romans

After leaving Dido, the team takes a break in ancient Italy enjoying a month’s vacation in an empty house and living life of Romans. But eager for adventure the Doctor and Vicki set off for Rome and quickly get caught up in the affairs of Cesar Nero’s court when the Doctor is mistaken for a famed musician. But instead of continued life in luxury, Ian and Barbara get kidnapped for a slave trader, Ian going to hard labor in a boat and Barbara to the court of Cesar Nero as the Empress’ pretty handmaid. Ian of course breaks few and chases after her and there’s a great sequence of all four being in close proximity and never seeing each other. Plus we learn the Doctor is the reason behind Cesar Nero’s idea for burning down all of Rome. Overall Rating: 10/10

5. The Web Planet

I know this is one of the beloved serial from Classic Who, but I’m sorry, I can’t. Between the constant beeping of the Zarbi, the weird speaking and hand motions of the Menoptra, and the bizarre enemy of the Animus who makes webs but is some ethereal being, I just can’t get on board with it. Plus while the scattering of the companions in other episodes is okay, this one just feels unnecessary and ridiculous when the final scene is all four coming together in the Animus chamber to then defeat it. Plus, how do any of these creatures actually live and breathe on this planet? Overall Rating: 3/10

6. The Crusade

Having just recently read the book novelization of this serial, I was happy to rewatch it again, though it is disappointing that two of the episodes are missing. The show itself tells a good story of how the TARDIS team lands in the middle of the crusades, explores the two factions between Richard the Lionheart and Saladdin, but also was just a good watch this snippet of history and don’t get too involved with the major events. Sure Barbara is captured and the story revolves around Ian rescuing her, but for the most part the TARDIS team takes a backseat as we explore Richard’s weariness to go home and his trials to try and end these long wars. Overall Rating: 8/10

7. The Space Museum

This is the second serial that explores the problem of something weird happening to the TARDIS, when it materializes a few moments ahead of it actually physically materializing and gives the team a glance at a possible future in which the four are turned into exhibits for the space museum they stumble upon. Fearful of accidentally ending up this way, they instead find themselves running from the keepers of the museum and in Vicki’s case, starting a revolution against them to try and prevent the outcome. It’s one of the more suspenseful early stories, mainly because the Doctor almost does get turned into nothing but a model, but also when he does sneak inside an empty Dalek shell to escape his captors, we see that silly side of him come out. Overall Rating: 9/10

8. The Chase

In probably the most confusing Dalek story ever, we go on quite the journey to avoid the Dalek’s chase of the TARDIS team. It starts on the planet Aridius, ends on the planet Mechanus, and somehow manages to go to New York for the first time, the Mary Celeste ship, and a haunted horror house where Frankenstein destroys a Dalek. We do learn some interesting things about the Daleks and the TARDIS in this episode, but its also notable for two reasons. The first is we meet Steven Taylor and though its unclear, we learn in the next episode he steals away on the TARDIS to avoid being stuck on Mechanus. The second is it’s the serial where Barbara and Ian leave the TARDIS once they realize the Daleks’ time machine can get them back to London in their own time. Overall Rating: 6/10

9. The Time Meddler

We meet another Gallifreyan and the first besides the Doctor and Susan when the Doctor lands just before the Battle of Hastings. We also learn more about the Doctor’s people (though not their species or planet yet) and that there are principles to Time Travel which the Monk has no issue exploiting for his own amusement, but the Doctor is strict about. This leads to the Doctor finding ways to prevent the Monk’s plan of destroying the invading Viking fleet while also removing a key component in the Monk’s TARDIS so he can’t meddle through time anymore. Overall Rating: 9/10

Adding to our previous lists, items in bold are things we learned in Season 2:

Historical Figures:

Marco Polo

Kublai Khan

Maximillen Robespierre

Napoleon Bonaparte

Ceasar Nero

King Richard the Lionheart

Things we learn about the Doctor:

Pioneer among gallifreyans

Ian only refers to one heart being okay “his heart is okay”

Knows three dimensional graph geometry

Things I’ve learned about the TARDIS:

It has a computer that reads and feed data to compute information about where to go next

It has a food generator where you pick flavors to be added to a nutrient bar

The lock comes away from the door and has 27 different mechanisms, getting one wrong might melt the lock

Field dimensions can be damaged by breaking down doors

The TARDIS is made of material that is impervious to Dalek shots

The Doctor does not have a Mark 4

Things we learn about Gallifrey:

It’s quite like Earth, but at night the sky burns orange and the leaves on the trees are a bright silver

Timelords we meet:

The Monk

People the Doctor has supposedly met before:

Pyrrho

Henry VIII

James Watt

#prep for the 60th #doctor who #season 2

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curioussubjects · 4 years

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come be a season 12 truther, baby, with me

In honor of tonight’s Berens/Glynn episode (!!!!), I’d like to take y’all on a magical journey in which I share why I think Dean and Cas got together in season 12.

Keep in mind that this post takes for granted that Dean and Cas are in love with each other and that their relationship has been increasingly coded as romantic with each passing season. Consequently, what this post does is point out some key moments in their relationship and argue why they don't get together before 12. I'll also go briefly over 13 and 14 for reasons I'll explain later in the post. First, though, let me go over seasons 4 through 11, with some pit stops along the way:

Seasons 4 & 5: this isn’t the destiel you are looking for. the ust is delicious, yes, and i, too, got sucked in posthaste immediately groped by an angel lj community style. At this point Cas is still too alien for anything beyond the development we see on screen happen. HOWEVER, season 5 is the first time we get to see Cas being human (The End) and Cas being less connected to heaven and how that affects his behavior. This will matter.

Seasons 6 & 7: the pining omg the pining. The notable things I want to point out with these seasons is a. this is the beginning of Cas doing things to spare Dean and it not ending well (Cas dies #1, soulless!Sam); b. Dean is v. sad; and c. we also start noticing the emotional toll of Cas’s divided loyalties and how human he has actually become since s4. Hurty feels all around.

Season 8: purgaytory babes aw yeah! Still lots of terrible awful pining. This is a turning point with the addition of the bunker as tfw hq: we have a home in play now, a static emotional center. Cas is still off doing his own thing, Dean still wishes Cas would just let him (+ Sam) help out. Cas going off on his own leads to disaster #2 (Angels fall, Cas loses his Grace). For all deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much of a gap between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 & slaughtering angels & leviathan. On the other hand, we do see Dean being more emotionally open, but to no avail. Bad timing. This is a trend. [oop also worth noting we get Dean being kinda done with the one night stand thing because always with the adios and ahem also hint hint Cas refusing to stay put]

Seasons 9 & 10: aka Dean and Cas make bad decisions, but mostly Dean. The biggest turning point here is Cas being human for an extended period of time. There is still plenty of spec over the effects of being human on Cas’s Grace and his Soul. What we can say for sure, though, is that Cas is much more human once he becomes an angel again. In contrast to s8, s9 sees Cas being vulnerable and Dean pushing him away (first because of Gadreel, which he didn’t want to do really and that’s even sadder kdjfgksdfj & later because he was pushing everyone away due to the mark).

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait: there’s been so much amazing fic and spec about this episode with its fanfiction gap, but I can’t see a deancas get together here, folks. I know, it’s terrible. The lying from Dean and the hurt from Cas, imo, make the distance between them quite insurmountable at this point. While the episode is amazing (Bobo’s debut, too! So ♥) and has some notorious subtext throughout, I just can’t see the character bridging that gap into anything physical, much less emotional. Nevertheless, this episode does show perhaps the first intentional romantic tableaux with Dean and Cas, and that’s not nothing.

10.16 Paint it Black: from the point Dean gets the mark of cain until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible. But one of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. For one, it’s a rare bit of emotional honesty from Dean and for two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the thing between them, it’s still uncharted waters. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession, so we can put a pin on it:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. [...] Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. [...] Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more, which all culminates in season 11, so...

Season 11: The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Luci (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems and by the end of the season we’re getting a clean slate. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. What this season does that is also super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby: Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? The convo between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development in on of the things Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That's awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we're lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more? DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

Compare this exchange with what we get from 11.11 and 11.19:

11.11 Into the Mystic: I’m bringing this episode as a crossreference to 10.16 and to show again that for all the closeness between Dean and Cas there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin'...If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else. [...] Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters: Continuing our trek regarding Dean wanting certain things we have this gift of an episode with Jesse and Cesar, and this exchange:

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point in retrospect, after getting smacked by the domesticity of 13 and 14. Under the cut because I can’t shut up, and things are long enough as is.

Season 12: Finally, the promise land, y’all. So, what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. Important to keep in mind that until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala.

12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You): Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it.

Offscreen happenings: Mixtape, how Cas knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow. This is hella suspicious.

12.19 The Future: This episode changes everything, y’all (bobo and meredith, folks, bobo and meredith ksjdhfakjshlfksd). Consider watching this episode again and pay attention to some weird things: 1. Dean’s reaction to Cas going awol. Compare it to Sam’s, who is like whoa Dean chill. Now, thought experiment, imagine something happened between Dean and Cas, and then just radio silence from Cas. Imagine how Dean would react with getting ghosted by Cas specifically after something happened between them. 2. Cas comes back to the bunker with the specific goal of stealing the Colt, which he already knew was under Dean’s pillow -- something Sam didn’t even know. 3. “He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But Cas clearly knew where the Colt was already, which means something happened before Cas came back to the bunker. Cas played Dean in seeming to have reconsidered not working with Sam and Dean wrt Kelly. This is still a point of drama, but it leads somewhere else (see s13 & s15). 4. WHEN DID DEAN GIVE CAS THAT MIXTAPE OMG 5. Dean and Cas’s brief convo in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together -- because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth.

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him -- Dean is clearly shook by it -- Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) -- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow -- ???? -- Cas goes awol -- Dean acts like he got ghosted by his partner.

Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But ymmv, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

Ok, maybe the narrative is still too subtle (?????), but as I said before, looking at 12 with the knowledge of 13 and 14 does offer a new perspective because of the difference in dynamic between Dean and Cas. I know lots of people look at 14, mainly, as having dialed back on the destiel side of things, but I always thought that was a strange take. Largely because they’re so domestic and their dynamic, ie, the lack of tension, reads like an established relationship. It’s a different kind of beast than we have been used to so far, so it does look alien on screen, especially since we “skipped” the conventional getting together cue that would let us change gears. Let’s take a look at 13 and 14, then.

Season 13: Ah, yes, the season of shit gets domestic. The pining? Gone? What? Deancas now reading like an established couple? It’s more likely than you think.

13.1-13.5: Dean’s grief mini-arc. Dude’s acting like a widower. We all know this. I want to gesture towards the reunion moment though with “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.6 Tombstone: hi this episode is pure love and Dean is so happy his sweetheart is back from the dead? He’s even ok being Jack’s third dad now? What a time to be alive. Also? apparently Dean and Cas were just having movie night together? Dates? Mutual Pining dates prior to shit going to hell in 12? Do you ever cry? What else are they getting up to offscreen? What else will they get up to off screen? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.

Season 14: MORE DOMESTICITY. With some pining because Michael. But...heart eyes when Dean comes back? Watch that scene again with Dean going off to shower. Suspicious. But then shit hits the fan and we’re all sad again. boo.

14.15 Peace of Mind: Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t coupley asf.

14.18-14.20: Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established issue between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here; he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? Divorce arc was entirely too literal.

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will they or won’t they because they already have. The tension is instead will they or won’t they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. There’s a crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned TWELVE FRIGGIN’ EPISODES. Y’all. Y’all that’s half a season. And we’re not even entirely done with it yet because Dean was cut short in purgatory, and they haven’t dealt with Cas’s side of blame in this mess yet either -- that Cas keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. And, you know, that’s a whole lot more exciting than witnessing their for realsies first kiss. I’m also confident Dabb & co will deliver the conclusion to this emotional arc and it will be a whole mess of feelings on all our parts.

For the moment, though, it’s looking a lot like Dean and Cas had a rocky start to their ~involvement, then DEATH, then they got together feat. sweet sweet domestic fluff, then DIVORCE. So, yeah. Season 12, guys; it’s where it’s at.

As for the more performative aspect of Dean and Cas’s relationship…that’s a whole other thing and all I can say is they got the green light for something, but I don’t know what it is and it’s driving me bananas, but it’s definitely something and we can talk about that, too. Place your bets, etc. I’m clowning on the “I love you” pay off because it’s a glaring missing piece in this whole story. See also: holding hands? Carving Cas’s initials on the table? Saileen endgame parallels? All supported by the narrative. Like a lot. So. *finger guns*

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #spn #spn meta #my writing #one day i'll title my posts after things that aren't questionable songs #but today is not that day #this post has strong ship manifesto from the late 00's vibes #i miss those things they were handy

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aureolinthoughts · 4 years

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“On My Block” Ending: Some Thoughts on Characterization and POC Narratives

Okay...I’m calling it. What the writers did with the ending of season 3 of On My Block is more or less the same crap D&D pulled with Game of Thrones...sending a beloved character crashing headlong into complete villainy for no reason other than to be “subversive” and to rush the ending of the show. Sure Cesar was scared (and needed the Santos to get rid of Cuchillos and find Oscar), but him pulling what amounts to a heel-face turn to align himself with gang interests (when what he has always wanted was to get out of “the life” and become an architect) is COMPLETE nonsense.

What also hurts me to the bone is that the ending of the show as is flies COMPLETELY in the face of EVERYTHING the crew has stood for up until now...spits in the face of what is supposed to be the central theme of the show: “In Squad We Trust.” From the first episode, the heart and soul of this show has been the idea of “la familia”...that family fights for and loves one another through thick and thin. Sure they may get angry at one another (as the crew did in the woods in 3x08), but at the end of the day, the squad will ALWAYS come back together to support one another. The writers started to chip away at that at the end of season 2, and then full-on set about destroying that in season 3, and I’m very, very upset about it. At the end of season 3, the familia is broken up, and that breaks my heart. I mean, in the FIRST episode Mario Martinez tells “the crew” that they need to have each other’s backs no matter what...why write them in such a way that they suddenly abandon that? It doesn’t make any sense.

As of now, I’m holding on to hope that the ‘ending’ of 3x08 was actually just a dream/nightmare sequence much like the one Cesar had after he kissed Olivia and we will find out that things went a different way, because not only does the ending spit in the face of the theme of the show, it makes ALL the characters OOC. Jamal HATES football and literally spent MONTHS lying to his parents and faking injuries to get out of playing...why on earth is he suddenly on the team? It makes NO sense. Ruby and Jasmine aren’t dressed the way we know them to dress...doesn’t make any sense either. Ruby and Jamal aren’t friends anymore...what on earth happened? Before she left Freeridge, Monse PROMISED to keep the picture of her friends in “prime viewing position” in her room, and now the picture is stuffed behind a vase, out of sight and out of mind? That’s ridiculous. And of course...(and much has been said about this already)...Cesar is now leader of the Santos? Admittedly, 3x07 and 3x08 DID kind of set that up...but I don’t buy the way they wrote his descent into villainy.

And no, Oscar would not leave Cesar in the hood and run off to the suburbs to have a good life. By the way, it also makes NO sense to give Oscar the fate Cesar wanted (out of the gang and out of the hood) and to give Cesar the fate that Oscar has literally been heading to since episode 1. I appreciate the extra depth that Oscar got in season 3, but let’s not pretend this guy was an angel...he ordered his 14-year-old brother to commit a murder and then kicked him out to sleep on the streets when he refused to do so. Come to think of it, OSCAR had something of a heel-face turn as well...suddenly deciding that making peace with other gangs is the right way to do things...as opposed to committing murders. I suppose realizing what Cuchillos did to his father woke him up some, but we needed more elaboration and development of that, not just one short conversation between him and Cesar.

Unless the two of them are running some elaborate scheme (TOGETHER) to dismantle the Santos or defeat a rival gang or something, there is no way I’m buying the “Oscar in the suburbs and Cesar in the hood” plot point. It just doesn’t make any sense. Whatever happened to the smart kid who straight up said: “I’m NOT a killer” and wanted to get out of Freeridge to have a better life? I could see him struggling with being scared after the Santos were “weakened”, but literally presiding over someone being “jumped in”? No. Not my Cesar.

Also, the familia PROMISED Monse that nothing was going to change when she left...obviously, SOME things would change as the crew got older, but I just can’t accept the crew splitting up and going off to do things that run COMPLETELY contrary to their previously established characterization. Nope. I don’t buy it.

TBH, tho...a LOT of season 3 was straight-up a mess...nowhere near as good as season 1 or season 2 in terms of emotional impact, plotting, characterization, etc. Season 4 is going to have to be REALLY good in order to make up for how bad Season 3 was, assuming that the show gets renewed (which I REALLY hope it does). There’s a running joke that the third season of Netflix shows are always bad...and On My Block was no exception. I don’t know what the writers were drinking when they wrote the end of season 2 and season 3, but I hope they quit drinking it or hire new writers, because this is...a mess. A messy and crappy way to treat a show that was so good, both in terms of plotting/characterization and Black & Latina/Latino representation.

Another thing...I’m honestly just tired of stories about POC having tragic endings. It’s almost like writers are allergic to writing narratives about POC that do NOT center on some terrible tragedy or have some horrible end. Monse, Ruby, Cesar, and Jamal have all gone through SO much. They MORE than deserve a happy ending...why can’t they just have one? Also, why was season 3 only eight episodes? I don’t get it. I saw a theory that the show is Monse writing a book because the episodes are called “chapters”, and for goodness’ sake, that ‘book’ NEEDS and DESERVES a happy ending. I WANT to see Monse becoming a really good writer (also, it’s a shame we never actually get to see her flex her writing skills-why?). I WANT to see Ruby putting those math and logic skills to work (he’d be a GREAT lawyer, I think). I WANT to see Jamal putting his nerdiness and tenacity to use (may he’d become an engineer or an investigative reporter or something?). I WANT to see Cesar getting out of the gang and working towards fulfilling his dream of becoming an architect (and of course, being cute with Monse). I WANT to see Oscar leave behind a life of violence for something better...he had dreams of being a chef...why can’t we have a storyline about what it will take for an ex-con to get into a culinary school?

We NEED more hopeful stories about POC, stories that tell POC kids (and adults!) that we deserve happiness...and that it is within reach. I am SICK of the ‘cautionary tales’, sick of the endless tragic narratives. There is more to being Black or Brown than suffering...and we need stories that tell us that. On My Block was doing that, until it lost its way.

I hope it finds its way again.

#on my block #on my block netflix #monse finnie #jamal turner #monse x cesar #cesar diaz #oscar diaz #ruby martinez #jasmine #jasmine flores #spooky #santos

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mayfriend-archive · 5 years

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Hey I need a new show to watch and I feel like you are a good person to ask because I am also a history student, bi, but 19. I see all these cool shows on your page but I can't keep up! can you give me your top five and why they're good? I've already seen good omens and tua! THX

Have I been waiting my entire life for this ask?? Possibly.

Keep in mind these are my top five shows EVER, not just the ones I’ve been obsessing over recently. I wouldn’t actually put Good Omens in my top 5, but Umbrella Academy would probably get the number 3 spot if you hadn’t already seen it :)

1. Dead Like Me (Amazon Prime)

This show, man. This fucking show. I’m a slut for found family (as the rest of this list demonstrates, with 4/5 of my favourite shows of all time featuring it as a main theme) and the Reapers are the Ultimate Found Family. The humour is incredibly dark and you will start sobbing at least once every episode; Bryan Fuller’s concept has stood the test of time and Mandy Patinkin kills it in what is (imo) his best role - sorry, Inigo. Dead Like Me was cancelled after two seasons, something I am still mad about almost twenty years later, but don’t let that stop you from diving head first into this exceptional show.

2. Borgia: Faith and Fear (I watched it on Netflix although it’s since been removed; it might come back if you wait a little while)

I came across this show completely by accident. I’d heard a lot about Showtime’s ‘The Borgias’ and searched for it on Netflix - that didn’t come up but this utter gem did. I still haven’t watched The Borgias because Borgia made it obsolete in my eyes; a lot of people struggle with the fact that the cast’s accents are all wildly different, with Rodrigo Borgia voiced by American John Doman but I found it easy to get used to after an episode. Mark Ryder is Cesare Borgia, and the quality remains high throughout the three seasons, with each character being treated with care and completing their own story arcs in three seasons.

3. Daredevil (Netflix)

Daredevil was the first ever Marvel Netflix show, and remains an example of just how good that genre can be. Seasons 1 and 3 are outstanding in every way, and Season 2 is still incredibly watchable. Daredevil is one of those shows that will stay with you long after watching it, with spectacular writing, incredible acting and cinematography that is as skillful as anything from a top Hollywood studio. Even if superheroes aren’t your thing, Daredevil is absolutely worth a watch.

4. La Casa De Papel (Netflix)

The heist show to end all heist shows. Each and every main character is three-dimensional, complex and deeply flawed; Tokyo’s narration and the non-chronological storytelling take what is essentially a very basic premise into one of the best television shows of the 21st century. Netflix provides both an English dub and English subtitles, but I would stress just how much the actors original voices and intent matter to the quality of the show.

5. Dollhouse (Amazon Prime)

Although Joss Whedon has fallen out of bed somewhat in the last few years, I stand by this particular work of his. Dollhouse explores the idea of what ‘makes’ a human being, and allowing actors to shine by playing multiple nuanced roles in universe by essentially ‘wiping’ people’s brains and uploading them with different personalities for the enjoyment and benefit of the obscenely rich who can afford their services. This show in particular is what made me fall in love with Enver Gjokaj and despite only getting two seasons, it manages to wrap itself up well whilst showing both the very best and very worst of human nature.

Honourable mentions go to The Boys, which I just finished and adored (although it is very dark and an 18, so keep that in mind before starting), The Good Place for being simultaneously funny and philosophically compelling and Parks and Rec for being my go-to pick me up show (although its a good idea to skip season 1, which is of low quality compared to the following seven seasons).

#i spent... way too much time on this #asks #Dead Like Me #borgia: faith and fear #daredevil #la casa de papel #dollhouse #the boys #the good place #parks and rec #the umbrella academy #about me #emily speaks

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i-hate-everyone--equal · 4 years

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After having a very rough life that makes her want to risk it all at the age of 12. Elaina receives a call from her older brother begging for help with his new born daughter. After watching the fiasco Ari and Aaliyah, her little sisters started in Crenshaw and knowing they needed to lay low for a long time. They head to a Freeridge California and meet a little beat up boy named Cesar. After awhile they start to rebuild the never put together family that she's always wanted but what happens when his older brother finally gets out of jail?

Show some love if you like it! I do not own on my block or any of its characters. I only own my own ocs. I also dont own the pictures. If you don't like the book don't read it and I'm always welcome to nice criticism but if your an ass you will be removed. I also dont speak spanish so I'm gonna do the best I can.

...................................................................

Driving to get to my new house in Freeridge was tiring as hell with my mija in the car. Dont get me wrong I know this is the first time we've got to spend time together in awhile but, I also know the girls hyped her up on candy and soda from the way she practically vibrating and jumping in her purple and black car seat. Fortunately she crashed from her sugar high about 40 minutes back and I would be able to carry her big head into the house.

Tapping my hand in the steering wheel, I pull through tagged up streets until I arrive at my new house in Freeridge, California. There were little trees and bushes blocking all edges of the house at the end of the street giving it a very good privacy setting. Its walls a off white concrete with beige tiles on the roof. There was a big yard big enough to store some of the cars Juju and I like to work on, a small garage and a doggie house for my dog Cerberus. As my eyes roam the house I let out the sigh that seems to have been on the tip of my tongue since I left my old home in Crenshaw.

I notice there were no lights on in the house and that I will have to get black out curtains, considering the amount of windows there were. It wont be good when I have to drink my self to sleep only to be woken up by the sun wanting to show how much holier it is than I. The houses off white cemented walls shined in the fading sunlight the light reflecting off the windows giving it a warm and cozy look thankfully along with the sun going down so is the famous unforgivable heat.

Stepping out of the car was a little more challenging than I thought it was going to be considering how my skin wanted to mend into the car seat. So, after I finally was able to surgically remove myself I was able to start walking up to the reinforced door one of the first things I noticed.

'That was probably one of Vin's ideas.' A bitter smile came at the thought....missing mi familia. I honestly don't even know where he is right now. 'I'll find you when it's safe again.' Already knowing the words were lies before they even left his mouth.

The second thing I notice was the cameras discreetly pointing at every angle surronding my house. So if a lizard crossed my yard I would know about it. I opened the door and propped it open with one of door stopper that was right next to it. Not even bothering to look further inside Going back to the car and I pull out mi hija without waking her while also grabbing whatever else we needed to spend one night in an empty house.

Quickly grabbing my silver .9mm from the glove department, I place it in my waist band of my black yoga shorts and start walking in the house and once fully inside, I put Nena and the bags down in the living room on the deep brown wooden floors before rubbing her hair. Glancing at her mixed cream skin with crazy black curly hair I secretly admire her beauty. 'She deserves this fresh start more than any of us. ' I quietly think to myself continuing to take in her peaceful sleeping face that looked so much like her fathers.

She has such an innocent face but, that's just what lures you in about her. She has such a devilish smile when you get past her angelic eyes.

Rubbing her hair once more I walk out and grab a few more bags before placing those bags around her as well. I go back and lock the door before going through her night bag and pulling out her pajamas.

Picking her up to wake her only causes her to start groaning and whining as she lazily opens her eyes and gives me a sweet soft kiss.

"We have to change your clothes before you go back to sleep Nena." I say quietly to the 3 year old.

"Tía" she said with her quiet rarely used voice it coming out soft and toddlerish. Her tired eyes trying to close despite my best efforts. God this girl could try to sleep through anything!

"You cant call me that anymore mija." I said to her softly with my soothing voice while looking into her deep amber eyes. My mother always said that I had the voice capable of putting anyone to sleep. I remember when I was 4 she told me one night that she wanted me to sing for her every night to chase away the nightmares. Unfortunately the next morning I found her overdosed in the tub covered in urine and throw up.

"Yes mama." She said starting to get a little excited but still in her sleep haze.

"I love you mama." Nena said burying her head into my shoulder. Secretly trying to go back to sleep from what I could tell by the way she started to slump into my arms.

"I love you too Nena. We have to get you changed before you go back to sleep plum."I said chuckling to the half asleep toddler before looking away and turning to my phone when I hear the gun shot notification. Clicking my phone on. I see a blaring picture of Nena and *Bang!!* another new text message. This one from the moving company. [ We will arrive Tomorrow at 7 am] Alright. Not that bad and there's really nothing I could do about that right now.

Scrolling to my other messages I see one from Abuela.

[ We are 30 minutes out. She is in a mood driving us all loco.] Chuckling when I finished reading.

'She just lost her sister, nana.' I thought to myself. Before shaking my head to get rid of the thoughts of her. Putting down Nena on the floor unconsciously bringing up old unwanted memories of before the beginning of all of this bullshit.

*Flashback 2 years ago*

Sitting here with my hands bruised, slashed, and bleeding all over the place from the street fights I've had that past week. The dark purple and yellow bruises seeming to do a puzzle the way they fit on top of each other.

Kissing my teeth and looking far out of space while throwing my head back, and letting out a small scream while standing up to let out my frustrations. Today was not a good day, but it seems like bad days are the only days I'm allowed to have anymore honestly. Turning my head around to fully take in my shitty surronding of an abandoned apartment building with dried blood on the walls, broken glass bottles everywhere, and dirty couches and mattresses. The whole place stunk of mold, anemone, and shit. A scoff escapes me.

'What am I even doing here?' I think to myself but in reality I already know why I was not home..... trying to get too fucked up to remember anything. This is not where I am supposed to be doing that though. I pry through the existing migraine to get to the depressing things I'm forced to call my thoughts. While pulling out my phone to check to see if I have recieved any messages, nope but it is 02:30.

'I should probably go home.' Although, as soon as that thought went though my head it was already gone. My mind being too filled with the existing numbness and static to absorb anymore thoughts of home.

Not now.... 'Theres no one there to return to anymore.'

Walking though the trashed old and moldy apartment building somewhere in NY blood territory if the tagged up place was anything to go by I stepped out side. Looking around I notice the tagged up neighborhood and my 2014 purple and black Dodge Charger. Stepping in the car with a groan I start the car and look at my phone again to connect the bluetooth and start playing Leroyce -Forever before I take off toward a destination not really caring where as long as it's not here.

Opening my glove department I pull out a blunt and light it before coming to a stop. 'Got to get off the road soon dont want to get pulled over again.' I sigh, even though I look older than it I am still only 10. One that really is tired of this worlds sandeces 'I really dont want to call Vin to tell the officer to let me go if I get caught.' I add another sigh to my day as I pull into a parking space and turning off the car. I continue to smoke my blunt while listening to the music letting it vibe though me. 'I haven't eaten in 3 days' I think with, yeah you guessed it another sigh not particularly having an appetite or craving anything to eat.

Putting out the roach that was left while also making sure my silver glock is by my side, I get out of the car and walk to the nearest store. Walking up to the 711 I open the door and notice there were three young chicos in the candy isle and an Arabian at the register. Going to the bakery isle I grab two banana nut muffins before going to grab a beer and some chips.

"Can I get a black and mild wood tip?" I asked as I walked up to the Arabian girl at the register. Her big brown eyes first going to my holstered gun before looking into my hazel green eyes. Looking like she was having a debate with herself on whether or not to ask for an armored mixed girls Id. Flipping her fake blonde hair it seems like she made the decision that she doesnt care about my life.

"That will be 9.34."

Placing a 10 on the counter I walk away leaving the change. Going straight back to my car rolling another one and, staring off into space letting my mind wonder into the depths that would only bring and leave more scars. The only thing that brings me back is the sound of my ringer going off. Looking at the screen I see a picture of my hermano Vin and I on the screen. My long curly black hair pushed to the side my eyes closed and a bright smile on my full lips showing off my pearly whites. Vins tattoed arms wrapped around his hermanita as tight as possible knowing that would be the last time we would see each other for awhile.... and it's already been 8 months. "Qué?" I demanded. As soon as I picked up the phone.

"Elaina."

"Hm?"

"Te necesito." His deep voice says hesitantly over the phone.'Really....now you need me?'

"Por qué?"

"We can't speak about it on the phone. I need you to come to me." His gravely deep voice demanded on the phone. Not really giving me a choice in the matter in my head.

But now, what could be so important that you cant tell me over the phone. Well the only way I was going to find out was by going to him.

"I'm in New York right now, get my location and set it to the nearest airport. Make sure you keep the cops from my route I dont want any problems. Order me a private jet and set it to where ever you are."

" Thank you Elaina."

Humming, then ending the conversation. I recieve the route not even a minute later. Taking care of my family is a full time job that I didnt even sign up for....but without them I would have given up a long time ago. I sighed pulling out of the parking lot finally lightin the blunt.

'This finna be some bullshit.Well at least I get to go to London.'

*Present*

Hearing a truck pull up outside the house. Walking to the door I peek out the bullet proof window to see Abuela's black truck outside. The short mexican lady is cursing my hermanitas the hell out I notice with a small smile. Knowing them they probably deserve it. Shaking my head I start making my way to the door unlocking the door and stepping onto the second brick step.

"THATS YOUR MOTHERFUCKING EXCUSE FOR GETTING ALL THAT SHIT ON MY SEATS!?" oooh car problems...... Walking right back inside grabbing Nena who found her toy bag and was currently sleeping on a stuffed animal. But she was already dressed in her pajamas so imma just count it as a win-win situation. I already did what I needed to do which was open the door.

"Sissy save us!!!!" I hear both my other twin sisters yell. No. You fucked up her truck. You did this to a crazy Mob grandma.

"Let's go find somewhere to sleep Nena." Walking off not listening to the distressing calls of "Sissy!" from all three my sisters now.

I end up picking the empty master bedroom mentally cursing my brother for not having furniture arrive before his family did. 'Pendejo.'

Laying down on the carpet floor while putting white headphones in my ears and using a giant panda stuff animal as a pillow I pull an already asleep Nena over me and, put her head on my chest before closing my eyes.

I stayed like that for hours my insomnia not letting me sleep and my mind never truly letting me rest. I sit, wait, and listen to my sisters and grandma put away the little things they had before going to sleep. Well at least two of them do.

Looking up to my door as I hear the door click open. My younger sister Juju is there with a burning blunt and bottle of Hennessy...... our sleep medicine.

She's wearing a faded purple spaghetti strap crop top and black pajamas shorts. Most of her tattoos being shown off due to the lack of clothes. Pushing a deeply asleep toddler off of me and onto the panda. I watched her wrap her arms around the toy before turning and grabbing my phone.

After making sure my bebé was still fully asleep, something I honestly dont know why I even questioned, I stand up.

Following my younger sister outside to the back yard we hop on the concrete railing facing opposite of each other with the bottle between us and pop it open. Taking out my phone I start to play Say yes by Floetry. Before I really start to look around the back yard. Cerberus was going to have the time of his life fucking shit up back here. He will be arriving tomorrow along with the furniture, he doesn't do well with long road trips at all so we decided to just drug him and put him on a plane along with the rest of the stuff.

"I thought Vin said he would be here?" Her raspy tired voice said drawing me out of my thoughts and making me turn towards her. Big puppy dog hazel eyes that had dark circles from lack of sleep and brown curly hair made her look like a sun goddess. Her light carmel skin basically glowing in the moon and pool light. Out of all of my siblings I connected with sisters the most. Maybe because I went through a lot of bull shit with them? Maybe because they shared the womb at the same time with me? Either way I'm happy for it considering how much the world seems to hates my guts its good to have sisters that actually care if I die or not.

"You know why he can't come here." I said hitting the blunt. Knowingly about to start an unwanted argument.

"Wouldn't you say to protect his girls he would actually be here with us?Not there trying to get himself killed?!"She asked irritated and worried.

"Hm." Taking the bottle she chugs down the liquor with no regrets. Before handing it to me when she is done, I do the same thing until I feel somewhat alright.

"What school are we going to go to? Will you do football?" Now why would I be thinking about doing football? This ain't my home.

"We will be going to sign up for school soon I guess and no I'm not doing football."

" You might be able to start a new life, have friends, find love." She continued. Her mind filled with nothing but romance, roses, and bullets. She already knew that we shouldnt really get attached to anyone out here. It was far to dangerous to get anyone evolved in our lives but right now on this railing she can dream.

"Are you listing out Liyah's to-do list or mine?" I said laughing and fully feeling the effects of the alcohol. Not wanting to be the one to state the facts.

"All of ours fool!" She says laughing. Her smile showing off her small dimples. The smile slowly going away putting her head on my shoulder before shaking it.

"After everything that's been going on we deserve it.........How did we get here hermana?" Sighing I dont answer, knowing that question was more towards the Angels than to me.

"This isn't fair, for him to send us to one place while hes halfway around the world." She continues with a slight whimper in her voice. Taking another sip out of the bottle before passing it and lighting a black and mild.

"He's trying his best." Those soft spoken words could've been yelled at the poor girl with how quickly she quieted down.

Looking over at her down casted head.

"Yeah he is trying his best....but, his best could be with us there to help." She said damn near sobbing. The medicine is working.

"You know why we cant do that Juju. Come on." I said picking her up from the railing and stumbling back into the room after I placed her next to Nena before turning around and locking the door. Poor girl was already asleep when I turned back around.

What could I expect though after everything that's been going on. Quickly checking my phone for the time to see 02:45. I finally lay down next to them and let the alcohol in my system drag me into Morpheus's arms.

#oscar diaz #on my block #sad eyes #cesar diaz #netflix #gangs #love #freeridge #spooky #santos #prophets #Spotify

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zalrb · 5 years

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TVD 3x03 Review

I’m skipping to 3x03 because me and initiumseries already did 3x02 in a drunk review even though for some reason I label it 3x03 (maybe I was still drunk when I uploaded it):

vimeo

1. I like that when Damon asks Katherine where she is and she says, “Staring out your window, pining away” this fool actually looks around. She isn’t there, Damon.

2. I didn’t realize how whiny Nina is as Katherine until now, my god.

3. “Details are all a blur.” “Well that’s a crying shame.” Translation: YOU DON’T REMEMBER US, STEFAN?

4. Yeah I hate it but in 3x03, when Stefan’s feeding on that woman in the car, Paul is slick there because as an actor he’s relishing the opportunity in being bad, it works well for him.

5. Rebekah’s introduction is pretty good. Just rolling up on Stefan, licking his cheek and talking about the date he just killed. This is why I never understood why when people think of Bad Boy Stefan/Dark Stefan and his partner in crime they go to Katherine, it’s Rebekah he’s the “bad boy” with.

6. “Chicago was magical.” “Yeah well I’ll take your word for it.” Legit Klaus’ utter look of disappointment when Stefan brushes off Chicago is hilarious. Omg, those two.

7. Oh look Damon just in Elena’s bed, she’s clearly uncomfortable and he’s making a sexual joke. Omg totally in love!

8. Oh Look Damon rifling through Elena’s underwear drawer.

9. Caroline’s dad’s logic doesn’t make sense considering that Caroline isn’t going around killing people for blood. She uses blood bags. She has it under control. He can’t turn her into a non-vampire so this entire process is a waste of time.

10. I will say the shot of her being tortured by the sun was good.

11. Damon forcing Elena to read Stefan’s diary is literally just him trying to knock him down a peg in her eyes.

12. I was going to say I find it interesting that as a ripper Stefan would continue to write in his journal but in the ‘20s Stefan doesn’t have his humanity off, he’s just off the deep end with his ripper nature so he’s manic, which means he does feel and Stefan probably feels things the most profoundly on the show so it would make sense he’d journal.

13. Stefan as a Ripper is also just a bro. Which I find funny.

14. “What is this?” *shows a picture of Stefan and Klaus.” “I told you, Stefan, Chicago is a magical place.” LOL. Be boyfriends.

15. HA. Yo I’m sorry man but Stefan grabs Klaus and pulls him around to face him, Joseph’s face JUST looks turned on. They can’t help this shit and it’s HILARIOUS.

16. They tried to recreate the Klebekah scene with Steroline but the latter felt flat for SO many reasons. First of all, with Klebekah, their victim is panting, which adds a really disturbing sense of eroticism to the scene. Second of all, Stefan starts touching Rebekah AS they feed on this woman. Third of all, Claire and Paul just had better chemistry.

17. “I’m bored, I want to go.” “Then go without me I’m not your girlfriend.” Says Rebekah to her brother meanwhile her brother and Stefan are eye-fucking the shit out of each other after Stefan and Rebekah were getting off on killing an innocent woman. Legit the three of them together are MESSY.

18. There is so much inappropriate tension in this scene.

19. And again, Klaus looks so turned on at Stefan committing violence, he STAYS adjusting himself, like omg.

20. This is the second Black female bartender that Damon’s flirted with that’s ended up dead.

21. I think what I actually enjoy about Elena reading Stefan’s ripper diaries is that she flips through it looking for hope (one of their fundamental themes) and she gets to the 30s where Stefan says the bloodlust is easier and Lexi’s onto her next project, which is getting him to laugh and she smiles, assured. I like it because she didn’t have to see that he was “cured” she just had to see that he was better.

22. The closet scene! AND their love theme plays. 3x03 is definitely not an underrated scene among SErs but I always like talking about how layered it is in terms of the characters and in terms of chemistry. I bring it up a lot because Lupita Nyong’o brought up a point about chemistry:

“Chemistry is something that you pray for as an actor because it is so hard to fabricate. It’s so much easier to just have it and then, you know, work on other things, on your intention and your action and all that. Trying to fabricate chemistry is just … it adds another … it’s a lot of energy.”

And I think a prime example of this is 3x03 because even the way Nina spoke about the scene, about how at that point, it had been the longest time she and Paul had gone without filming a scene together so seeing him really felt like seeing him for the first time and the feeling of the scene

And like I’ve said before, Elena being in the closet is Stefan’s past/his darkness and his future/his light converging in one space.

But also what I like about SE and the way TVD had written them is they give them mini tests within the relationship that they then overcome. For instance, Stefan is super far gone, he’s off the wagon, he’s been murdering people for months, is he so far gone that he’ll turn on Elena? And for a second it looks like he might when calls Klaus over but he doesn’t because he just gives him a vintage.

Stefan is drinking human blood, Elena doesn’t like it, is that going to be a choice that tears them apart or brings them together? Elena chooses to be in it with Stefan by giving him her vein.

There’s constant tension between Stefan’s vampirism and SE love and SE love always wins out.

23. “I had an hour to realize what a bad idea it was to leave you here alone, process it and move on.” Damon, you’re a dick.

24. Klaus is so in love with Stefan and I find it hilarious because this isn’t brotherly at all.

25. These stares. Get a ROOM.

26. Yeah see Candice is good at screaming when it comes to being tortured but when it comes to crying she’s adequate at best.

27. KLEFAN WHY ARE Y’ALL SO CLOSE?

28. Touching chests and shit.

29. Klaus: I forgot what it was like to have a brother.

Me:

30. It always bothered me that when the vampire use vampire speed in the show and slam each other against things like walls and doors, nothing dents or cracks. They do it in Mr and Mrs. Smith for godsake and they’re not even vampires!

31. That was a BAD shot of Ian, man, he looked old as fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

32. “Well I am torn, you see, I promised Stefan I wouldn’t let you die but how many freebies did I really sign up for? And clearly you WANT to die otherwise you wouldn’t be here...” Jo’s delivery is on point.

33. I’ve said it before but the, “You shouldn’t be here.” “Where else would I be?” and Elena’s head tilt like of COURSE I’d come after you, of COURSE I’m here, of course, of course, of course, is really just pure SE.

34. “When I’m done with him, he won’t want to go back.” Idc, the writers had to know that that the line was DRIPPING with innuendo.

35. “I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to be with you.” SE did this so much better than DE did because it wasn’t hyperbolic and the inflection in Paul’s tone, the shocked stillness of Elena is just done so WELL. And their circumstance is also SO MUCH sadder than DE’s was because DE’s issue was literally just that Damon was trash.

36. Aww Forwood.

37. Oh Klaus stabbing Rebekah because she wants to leave, I just wish they made them Cesare and Lucrezia. Go all the way. Cowards.

38. Klaus: Look guys, we’re an Ot3 again!

39. See when Rebekah throws over the casket, it should break apart.

40. Stefan’s hair really was stupid in the 20s.

41. “Have you seen these two people before?” “No.” “OK.” That’s it?

Alright guy, thanks for reading!

#stelena #klefan #stefan salvatore #elena gilbert #the vampire diaries #tvd review #tvd 3x03 #the end of the affair #tvd the end of the affair #the vampire diaries the end of the affair #the vampire diaries 3x03 #paul wesley #nina dobrev #joseph morgan #anti-tvd #anti julie plec #anti caroline dries

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ramblingsrantsreviews · 4 years

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‘On My Block’s’ Controversial Season 3 Ending Makes Total Sense

Last week Netflix released the third season of On My Block, a coming-of-age dramedy that follows a group of friends in South Central Los Angeles as they navigate everyday teenage life with the challenges that their neighborhood brings on.

The third season picks up right where season 2 left off, with the four friends (Monse, Cesar, Ruby, and Jamal) being kidnapped on their walk home from school. Once their kidnapper is revealed the four friends are roped into tracking down a former Santos gang member, Lil’ Ricky, who has been presumed dead for decades. The remaining seven episodes follow their struggles to find Lil’ Ricky while navigating their changing friendships and trying to have fun on their summer break.

Fans were shocked during the finale episode when all seemed fine until the show decided to give us a glimpse into these characters’ futures by jumping two years into the future. Many of them took to Twitter and other social media websites to vent their confusion and disappointment with the season 3 finale episode.

While I’ll admit the ending was shocking and tears were shed I completely see where the writers were coming from and am going to defend their decision. After all, if you watch the series closely enough you will see that the characters’ outcomes aren’t that shocking at all.

Don’t believe me? Keep reading and you will.

*Spoilers Ahead*

Monsé Finnie

From the very beginning of On My Block, Monsé has been the de facto leader of the core four and the glue that holds them all together. As the only girl of the group she also takes over the reins as the “mom friend” who is forced to worry about her three best friends who are constantly getting themselves into trouble.

At the start of this season, she’s caught in the middle of wanting to get out of Freeridge to attend a boarding school and staying to keep her friend group together. Over the course of the season, we see her exhaustingly try to keep Cesar, Ruby, and Jamal together. She’s consonantly refereeing the boys and their countless arguments that sometimes get too personal.

On top of that, she’s trying to move on from her own grudges including forgiving Cesar for sleeping with someone else while she was away during season 2. And she also has to deal with the loss of her estranged mother this season which brings up and interesting array of feelings for her.

By the end of the season, Monsé is generally scared about what her future holds. On one hand, she’s just gone through an extremely traumatic experience with her friends and she’s seen them fight and nearly leave each other for dead. On the other hand, she’s mended her relationship with Cesar and finally has a girlfriend she can confide in. And yet, she has to give it all away to go to this new boarding school.

After everything is said and done, Monsé texts the core four asking when they can hang out again. We see each of the characters look at the message but no one answers. This is the beginning of the end of their ride or die friendship. Fearing this, Monsé begs her dad to let her stay in Freeridge but her dad and Cesar stand firm. Monsé was destined to get out of this place and this is her ticket out. We watch as Ruby, Jamal, and them on the curb to say one last goodbye.

Jasmine hands Monsé a homemade frame with her face decorating the edges and a picture of the core 4 inside. Monsé looks at it dearly and promises that she’s going to display it prominently in her new dorm room. The core four plus Jasmine share a group hug and for a moment everything is right in the world. But if you look close enough you can sense the tension and strain this is going through.

Eventually, Monsé gets in the car and drives off with her dad, the core four has officially split. And even though Cesar, Jamal, Ruby, and Jasmine watch Monsé’s car disappear together that sense of “everything is going to be okay” is lost now that the glue to their friend group has left.

And then the writers stab us in the hearts by showing Monsé two years later in her new dorm having a movie night with her new friends. The camera slowly pans to her nightstand and we see the beloved picture frame has been pushed to the back of her nightstand, overshadowed by pictures of her new friends and her new life.

Some might say it’s a classic case of teenagers growing apart and I think that’s part of the reason. After all, not everyone is destined to be best friends forever with their childhood friends. I think the other reason they grow apart is that Monsé can’t play her role as the mediator from towns apart. She isn’t there for the day to day arguments, to calm everyone’s nerves and remind each other why they’re all friends. In addition, she’s now living a very different life than her friends are. They don’t have the same problems anymore which means Monsé doesn’t have all the answers anymore.

More importantly, maybe she’s flat out tired playing that mediator role and with her new friends, she doesn’t have to. These new girls don’t force her to fix their problems, they don’t expect her to be the one constantly reaching out and checking in on them. Perhaps, they actually support her unconditionally which is something Monsé desperately needed not too long ago.

In the end, Monsé’s worst fear did come true — the core four disbanded but instead of being sad by it she almost seems relieved. And fans felt that was out of character for Monsé but is it? I don’t think it is. Monsé has spent years defusing arguments and we can see that’s she’s really fed up this time. She’s broken the vicious cycle of forgiving her friends (at least for now).

Of course, I don’t think Monsé purposely forgot about her friends, I do think they drifted away. And I don’t think this rift is permanent; after all, that’s what season 4 is for.

Cesar Diaz

Cesar has had a very tumultuous ride over the course of On My Block. In the first season is was forced into the Santos gang by his older brother and was instructed to kill a member of the rival gang. Unable to pull the trigger, the ramifications of his actions hurt those closest to him and jeopardized his future with the Santos. We saw those ramifications play out in the second season as Cesar struggled to live on the street and get back in his brother and his friends’ good graces. And by the end of season 2, he had succeeded.

Season 3 opens with Cesar being pulled back into the Santos life by the leader of the Santos herself. He and his friends are left with no choice but to help Cuchillos get what she wants or else their life is on the line — something Cesar is accustomed too but his friends are not. On top of that, Cesar’s estranged father, Ray, gets out of jail and wanders back into Cesar’s life. Having never had a relationship with him, Cesar jumps at the opportunity to get to know his father despite his brother’s warnings.

As time goes on Cesar begins to realize the severity of the situation he and his friends are in. After realizing how much Cuchillos has hurt his family, Cesar decides the only way he and his friends can win this war is if they kill her. As we get closer and closer to the end goal, we see Cesar tap into those gang mentality thoughts he fought so hard against in prior seasons.

After everything is said and done, we see the Cesar from prior seasons emerge as he comforts Monsé and pushes her to leave Freeridge. The old Cesar isn’t long for this world though. In fact, when we jump two years into the future we see Cesar’s worst fear has come true, he is now the leader of the Santos wreaking havoc on the rival gangs.

Out of all the time jump scenes, Cesar’s was the most jarring and the most heartbreaking. In fact, it’s the scene that got the fans most riled up because they felt it was wrong and uncalled for. Once again, though, if you watch the season closely enough you can see Cesar undergo this transformation from a teenager who wanted nothing to do with the Santos to a teenager who is ready to join them.

Cesar’s father returning is the first catalyst in his transformation from anti-Santos to Santos leader. That might seem silly since Ray is a new man after prison and is trying to have a better life now, but it’s the truth. Cesar has always known his father was part of the Santos but seeing him for the first time reinforces this idea that Cesar’s family lives, breathes, and dies because of the Santos gang. It’s their way of life. And even though Ray praises him for getting out and being smart, there’s still this undertone that Cesar is meant to be a Santos because it’s all they know.

If Cesar’s dad’s presence is the first catalyst to his transformation, his dad leaving is the final push Cesar needs. Why? Because it fills Cesar with rage and resentment and as Oscar said rage is how he survived in Freeridge for so long. Instead of channeling his rage into something positive, Cesar does what his family does best, turn their rage into violence.

When Cesar finds out Ray has left he tries to fight Oscar. He puts the blame for his shitty life on Oscar’s decisions. In fact, he utters the same exact words to Oscar that Oscar screams at Ray. One would think this would make him want to break the cycle of violence and his family’s need to be in the Santos gang but it only drives him closer to it.

We really see his transformation begin when the core four and Oscar decided its time to take Cuchillos down. After three days of not hearing from Oscar, Cesar begins to get worried and jumps into the action. The only problem is, he doesn’t want to put his friends in more danger than they already are so he turns to the only other family he has, the Santos. Cesar gets extremely agitated when he realizes the Santos aren’t looking for him. Worried that they’ve turned on him, Cesar confronts them and is ready to fight them but luckily he doesn’t have to. Oscar’s right-hand man steps up and defends Cesar’s wishes sending the Santos to the streets to find their leader. In doing so, Oscar’s right-hand man tells Cesar “We got you, Little Spooky,” which is the first time Cesar has ever seen the Santos truly protect him — and he likes it.

In the same episode, the core four is pulled together by Ruby after he receives a text from Cuchillos. This leads them to believe that Oscar has failed and forces Cesar to make the decision that he needs to be the one, now, to take Cuchillos down. Before the core four arrive at the hotel, Oscar’s right-hand man meets with Cesar to give him a gun. He promises to ride with Cesar no matter what, another hint that the Santos are willing to accept Cesar as their new leader if and when the time comes.

If you’re still not convinced that Cesar is beginning to accept his Santos lineage, the scene between him and Monsé should have you convinced. Monsé looks at Cesar holding the gun and asks him straight out, “this is just a one-time thing right? Because you have to.” Cesar has to pull his attention away from the gun to look at Monsé but his reaction doesn’t scream “one-time thing.” In fact, this really isn’t a one-time thing considering Cesar has held a gun to someone twice before. The difference is this time Cesar has the rage and motive to pull the trigger — and perhaps, he likes that power.

Because that’s the thing, being in the Santos means power. It means belonging. It means mattering. In the earlier scene with Cesar and Ray, Ray tells Cesar that he’s never needed anyone that he’s always known who he is and that Ray is jealous of that. But it’s not the truth. Cesar has struggled with his identity from the very beginning of the series. He’s struggled with finding acceptance within the core four because of his ties to the Santos. And for the first time, he’s seeing that maybe his place really is in the Santos where he can’t put his friends in danger anymore. Where he can be in control and be powerful instead of scared and helpless.

As if deciding to kill someone isn’t proof enough that Cesar is becoming a Santos, his willingness to fight Ruby when Ruby speaks the truth and “disrespects” Cesar. It only escalates when Jamal chimes in that being Cesar’s friend is a “liability.” Cesar’s fears have come true his friends have turned on him and the only one left for him once Monsé leaves is the Santos.

And the final knife into old Cesar happens when we watches Oscar make a deal with 19th Street to end the senseless violence and make things better for themselves. Instead of praising Oscar for this groundbreaking deal, Cesar tells Oscar he’s soft and that it’ll never work. As he watches Oscar give up his position in the Santos, Cesar sees this as his opportunity to take over.

Because even though everyone in Cesar’s life tells him that they’ve made them a better person and that he has the ability to be different and be better, Cesar doesn’t see it. He’s filled with rage. And the only way to take out that rage is to be the new leader of the Santos.

Jamal Turner

Jamal’s journey to the two-year time jump is a bit less intense than Monsé’s and definitely not nearly as intense as Cesar’s, but it was still a shocking twist for fans.

When we first met Jamal in the first season of the show he was the core fours goofy friend who was always up to something. He spent most of the first season trying to figure out a way to get out of playing football because he was afraid of getting hurt. After he finally quits the team, Jamal spends his time trying to find the rumored Rollerworld money. At the end of the first season, he does, in fact, find the money which is great considering the money becomes a key component of the second season.

The third season opens with the Rollerworld money gone and no puzzle for Jamal to solve, though that’s fixed rather quickly once Cuchillos gives them their new mission to find Lil’ Ricky. Jamal spends the rest of the season trying to be the leader of the group which is harder than he thinks given Jasmine’s new presence in the core four. In addition, he gets his first glimpse at high school romance thanks to a strange homeschooled girl who has taken to stalking him.

Jamal goes through a very emotional journey as he struggles to come to terms with his new role amongst his friends and how to juggle his new relationship with the rest of his life. In addition, he’s stuck trying to solve an unsolvable puzzle.

By the time the two-year time jump happens, Jamal has accepted he’s not the leader, fought with his friends, broken up with his girlfriend, and realizes that he doesn’t have a mystery to solve anymore. In turn, when we see him two years later he is now laughing and enjoying his life while wearing a football jersey. As Ruby passes Jamal and him share a look so many of us can relate to — they’ve grown apart.

A lot of fans were caught off guard that Jamal, who actively spent an entire season trying to avoid playing football, would suddenly join the football team again. But it’s not that shocking.

Think about it, the only reason Jamal was against playing football was that he was afraid of being hurt. By the end of the season, he’s literally been threatened by a powerful gang leader and cheated death on more than one occasion. He’s faced his biggest fear of getting hurt and being dead and now, with that fear gone he can enjoy the game of football without worrying what’s going to happen to him.

It’s not just his newfound bravery that makes football the perfect fit for him though, it’s also the fact that Jamal loves puzzles. He spent three seasons tracking down money, missing people, and trying to figure out how to get his friends out of trouble and he loved it. When you think about it football is a great place for someone who loves to solve puzzles because plays are puzzles. He would actually be a great asset to the team if he was able to dissever the opponent’s plays.

On top of that, Jamal’s always wanted to be a leader and yet, his friends have never taken him seriously. He’s never been a leader in the core four’s eyes and its something that has frustrated him for years. In that time jump, he has the undivided attention of the team, he’s the one telling the story that’s making everyone laugh with him and not at him. Jamal finally found a place where he could be a respected leader.

The most jarring thing for fans to come to terms with in regards to Jamal’s time jump scene was the fact that he and Ruby don’t talk. While I agree that we don’t see Jamal and Ruby growing apart from each other as much as we do with some of the other characters this season, the tensions in their relationship are still there. The fact of the matter is while Ruby was desperately trying to help his parents pay off his medical bills this season, Jamal was prioritizing finding Lil’ Ricky. So yeah, maybe they did just grow apart organically or maybe they truly needed time apart because they weren’t on the same page anymore.

Ruben “Ruby” Martinez Jr

Out of the core four Ruby has the most heartwarming transformation.

When we first meet Ruby he’s a hopeless romantic who’s a little too obsessed with girls. He’s often the one friend who gets the core four out of trouble and he truly is ride or die even if he doesn’t always show it.

At the end of season one, Ruby ends up getting shot at a family friend’s quince which leaves the family friend dead. Ruby spends much of season 2 juggling his intense PTSD while also trying to help his friends get Cesar out of harms way yet again.

By the time season three rolls around, Ruby is somewhat better but he still suffers from survivor’s guilt and is a bit numb to the world. His one wish at the start of the season is to just be a normal teenager but of course, that’s impossible given the world he lives in and his friends.

He begins to have feelings for Jasmine, a girl who’s been obsessed with him since childhood that the core four have often brushed off as crazy. On top of that, Ruby learns that his parents are going through marital problems partly due to Ruby’s growing medical bills after being shot.

Ruby spends much of the third season trying to figure out a way to help their friends while also trying to survive his impending death for a second time. On a positive note, he’s also trying to discover if his new feelings for Jasmine are permanent or if they’re a stress reliever given their current life or death situation.

Ruby once again takes charge of the core four after Cuchillos leaves him a burner phone that allows her to communicate with the core four. He’s the one who pulls the group together after they realize that Oscar is probably dead and he’s the one who devises the plan on how to take down Cuchillos together. Even though his actions make him appear as the leader of the group, he doesn’t feel like that.

In fact, he feels alone even when he’s with his friends. Jamal is too caught up in his first relationship and the newest puzzle to help Ruby with his financial trouble. Ruby tries to bond with Monsé after her mother passes but even she ends up pushing him away by expressing her fear of being numb to pain and loss — something he has first-hand experience with. And he nearly comes to blows with Cesar after finally admitting that everything that’s wrong with him is because of Cesar.

After he utters those words, there’s no going back. It’s the crack in their foundation that makes Ruby distance from the core four make sense in the time jump.

Even though Ruby losing his friends is sad and not what viewers wanted, it’s what he needed to finally live a normal teenage life. And the time jump is the proof of that since we see Ruby and Jasmine walking the halls of their high school happy and in love for the first time in a long time.

Oscar “Spooky” Diaz

Oscar, or Spooky as he’s known for most of the series, has the most positive drastic change during the two-year time jump. And it’s the one fans welcomed the most.

When we first meet Oscar he’s fresh out of jail and back to reclaim his seat as the leader of the Santos. His first mission is to innate Cesar into the gang life which isn’t an easy task given Cesar’s hesitance. The two have a very tumultuous relationship in season one but they do manage to share a few heartfelt moments together. Most memorable is the scene on the beach where they both fantasize about what their life could be if they weren’t stuck in Freeridge and had parents who were actually capable of being parents.

Unfortunately, that closeness doesn’t last long and in season two, Oscar is forced to turn his back on Cesar after he puts the Santos lives in jeopardy after not killing a member of the rival gang at the end of season one. It takes the entire season for Cesar to prove himself to Oscar but eventually the two reunite and take down the Prophets once and for all.

Season 3 should have been an amazing season for these two brothers who are finally starting to heal but instead, their father, Ray, comes back into the picture and drives a wedge between them. See, Cesar doesn’t remember what his father’s presence is like but Oscar does and Oscar doesn’t want Cesar to go through any more shit than he’s already had to deal with. But Oscar can’t protect Cesar from himself — and that’s an important thing to remember as the season continues.

If season 3 for Cesar is about Cesar’s transformation into a Santo, then Oscars season 3 is about his transformation away from the Santos.

This shift becomes clear halfway through the season when Oscar confronts Ray about all the shit that he did to Oscar. Oscar blames Ray for everything that’s wrong with Oscar’s life. He blames Ray for forcing him to grow up and be the leader of the Santos even though it’s not what he wanted. Ray tells him he needs to let go of his rage and move on because he can’t fix the past. In a pivotal move, Oscar tells Ray that he can’t let go of the rage because it’s the only thing that’s kept him alive in Freeridge for so long.

The ironic thing is, in telling his father off, Oscar has let go of his rage. And from that moment on, we see Oscar take steps to distance himself from the Santos. The first move comes when he helps the core four plan to take Cuchillos down by sacrificing himself for them. For the first time, Oscar realizes that the Santos aren’t his family and that they don’t have his back the way he might have thought they had.

By sacrificing himself for Cesar and his friends, it’s the first step Oscar makes against the Santos. Thankfully, his mission pays off and he’s able to make a deal with 19th Street that would allow both gangs to live in peace without fear of being shot over meaningless issues. This scene is Oscar’s final act as a Santo and in turn, it’s the turning point Cesar needs to step into his brother’s role.

When Cesar confronts Oscar about being soft and being played Oscar can’t bring himself to care. He even goes as far as telling Cesar that he wants “adult problems” and that he’s done with this way of life. That he’s done living his life with resentment and missed opportunities. Instead of agreeing with Oscar, Cesar asks him “what if someone takes your power?” To which Oscar responds “let him.” And in that moment, it’s clear that while Oscar is done with the Santos life, Cesar is just beginning.

And so the two-year time jump shows the drastic reality that Cesar has taken over the Santos; while Oscar has finally gotten what he’s always wanted — a wife, a kid, and a normal life.

Now, many have criticized Oscar’s happy ending wondering why he didn’t get Cesar out of Freeridge too. They’ve been vocal about their issues with him leaving his baby brother to run a gang he knows will ruin his life.

But here’s the thing. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Oscar knows this.

He knows Cesar is still full of rage and resentment, especially towards Oscar. And at the end of the day, Oscar doesn’t want to be in charge of his baby brother anymore. He never wanted to in the first place. And even though we’ve seen Oscar be a good brother over the course of the season, we can’t forget the fact that he literally forced Cesar to sleep on the streets for nearly an entire season.

Oscar finally chose family over the Santos, but unfortunately, Cesar didn’t make that same choice and that’s no one’s fault but Cesar’s.

And that concludes my long rambling essay on why I stand by the writer’s finale decisions. Even though I support them, I know that this is not the end of the core four. And I can’t wait to see what season four has in store for us because I’m certain we’re going to get one.

Even though the season 3 ending might be realistic, it doesn’t match the positive tone On My Block has always given us. Which is why I know this is not the end of the core four’s journey.

Want more posts like this follow me here or on wordpress.

#on my block #omb #on my block season 3 #monse #cesar #spooky #oscar #jamal #ruby #cesar x monse #ramblings #tv shows #tv

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klaussstilinski · 5 years

Text

Chapter 4

An: I was slipping plain and simple. I truly hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave your feedback, all is welcome. Sorry for the long wait but another chapter is coming Thursday!!

Disclaimer: DON’T OWN ANYTHING ABOUT ON MY BLOCK, JUST MY CHARACTERS DAISY, JACKIE, AND MADELINE.

You ever get that feeling like your whole world is falling apart and then boom something exciting happens and everything is fine in the moment? If so, well, congratulations you’re human, and you’re not the only one with those feelings. When your world Is falling apart you have this crushing feeling in your chest; like there’s an elephant sitting there just waiting for you to stop breathing. Although it feels like your heart is beating faster and is going to beat out of your chest cavity it’s actually all in your head, that’s called panic. Your heart rate is picking up because of your fear of death. Then all of a sudden, your lungs start expanding like a balloon when someone starts blowing warm air into it. That crushing feeling is finally lifted off your chest and you can take a gulp of fresh air. That. I wanted that. As I'm sitting on my warm chocolate brown recliner couch, I wipe my eyes as I realize that the meeting with Oscar didn’t go as I had planned, or even hoped for. It was so much worse, and to be honest I don’t know how I'm going to face him or the kids for a while. ~THAT MORNING~ I wake before my alarm clock starts going off. Excitedly I get up to start my morning routine; hair up, brush teeth, wash face, moisturizer, pull hair down just so I can put 2 french braids in and dance my way to my closet to pick out a semi-comfortable outfit. Boyfriend jeans, a basic grey V-neck tee and a black and an old black and grey plaid shirt matched with some white vans. Smirking I all but skip to the white nightstand, unplug my phone, grab my necessities and walk to the wooden front door, set the alarm and walk to the car. Nothing is going to wipe this big smile off my face. That is until I walk into the back door of the bakery. “Daisy! Oh, thank god you’re here. I need you to pick up Jackie’s shift, she came down with the flu.” Maddy gagged, “It was real nasty! She facetimed me this morning, her nose was so red and her eyes were so puffy. OH and her voice was basically gone.”

“That’s fine, bu-but um wasn’t she trying to finish some cupcakes for a 8 year old's birthday party?” I asked swallowing hard.

“Yeah, so she finished half of the order, which was 50 cupcakes, but the other half of the order was the 2-tier cake.”

“I-I didn’t know about the cake. When is the deadline?”

“Sunday...but like I said the cupcakes are done!” She quickly adds when I look at her as my jaw hits the floor.

“Maddy! Today is friday, just please tell me she already has the framing of the cake.”

Walking to the fridge she opens the doors with a grand gesture. “She actually does, and she has base coating done.” Breathing a sigh of relief, I put my belongings away, put on my apron, wash my hands, and get started making the fondant for the marvel birthday cake. By the time I get finished covering the cake with the fondant, it was already 12. Short day my ass. Jackie owes me big time.

~4 THAT EVENING~

R- 3:13 pm: Daisy raincheck on tonight's meetup!!

R- 3:17 pm: You know you could at least text me back...

R- 3:19 pm: Okay so I know you got this message; it says it was delivered

M- 3:25 pm: DAISY! The boys, mainly Ruby, wants to reschedule. Call me as soon as you get this!!!

M- 3:40 pm: Why haven’t you called? Are you hurt?

J- 4:01 pm: Just to formally update you woman, we can’t make it to the meetup tonight...

Well for once I'm glad my phone was on silent. Hanging my apron, I clock-out and quickly head out the door putting my phone up to my ear.

“Hey, sorry I had to cover Jackie’s shift at work. I saw y’all couldn’t make it to the meeting tonight but why did you need me to call you?” I ask as soon as Monse picks up.

“You’re fine, yeah something about Ruby needing to move his things into his room with his abuela. But I actually need to talk to you. It’s really important.”

“Talk, I'm driving!”

“I think I might have feelings for Cesar.”

“Um yeah I know, I think we all know at this point.”

“But he’s pressuring me to tell everyone. He I feel like he wants to stake a claim, or something.”

“Are you home? I’m on the way, we’re going to my house to talk.”

“Yes, how far are you?”

“About 10 minutes away, be ready!” I reply hanging up the phone. Arriving I blow the once before she comes running out the front door and quickly jumping into the car.

“I didn’t know you had a record player.” Monse yells through the house.

“It was a gift from grandma, along with all of her old vinyls.” Picking up a Nat King Cole record I turn it over to show her the vintage vinyl.

“She was into Jazz?”

“Stop beating around the bush. What’s going on with you and Cesar?” Glancing at the clock, it’s already after 5.

“So, we’ve been seeing each other since I came back from camp and-”

“Having sex.” I interrupt as I sit down beside her on the couch.

“W-what?” She stutters looking at me with wide eyes.

“Monse, I'm not dumb I know y’all are having sex. Do I approve? Hell no. Do I wish you would have waited? Hell yeah. But hey,” I turn and look her in the eyes. “I’m not disappointed in you Monse. I’m not judging you either because there are worse things you could be doing. But just a 1 question, are you using protection?”

“Yeah...” But she’s looking everywhere but at me.

“Monse?”

“We’re only using condoms, but not all the time.”

“What?” I screech.

“Dad has never talked to me about birth control or even sex. I’m not even sure if I should talk to him about it. Wouldn’t that be weird?” Her round cheeks turn slightly red, reminding me of the time mama first told me about sex and I got so embarrassed.

“Well since you already technically know about sex, I'll let you know right now that condoms are good birth control but they aren't 100 percent effective. That’s why sometimes it is best to be on some kind of birth control yourself, not saying you have to though. There’s the pill, IUD, the shot, the patch, implant, ring, sponge, and so many-”

“Okay I get it!” Monse yells cutting me off. “There are many types of birth control, but um this isn’t why I wanted to talk you. I’m afraid if we say something it’ll break up the crew.”

Laughter bubbles up my throat and without warning it tumbles out. I stop when I see Monse grinding her teeth.

“See this is why I was afraid to tell you!”

“I thought you were joking, Monse you’re afraid of what the boys will say. The same two boys who are most likely jerking off to magazines or porn?”

“Eww I totally didn’t need to hear that.” Shuddering she jumps up and starts pacing the living room. “I just don’t want things to change between us.”

“Things are going to change, you’re growing up. Everyone changes Monse, you can't stop that. But if they don’t support you in this decision then screw them. Real friends support you in anything and any situation. From what I understand they love you both, right?”

“Right!”

“Okay then I have no doubt in my mind that those boys will accept you two. Maybe you’re just scared of your feelings for him.” She went to interrupt me but instead her stomach growling cuts her short. “I know you Monse, you’re just scared and nervous, which is normal. But maybe you should give it a try with you and Cesar just to see how things will work out. But for right now let's get some food in you!”

“Good idea.” She says chewing on her nails while walking to the kitchen with me following close behind.

Frozen pizza and tater tots were definitely a win tonight. Not the healthiest but who eats healthy 24/7 anyways.

“So, dad is picking me up. He should be here really soon” She says as we’re watching tv after dinner.

“Oh, when did he get back in town?”

“Yesterday, he said something about the two of you not really talking right now.”

“Yeah just somethings I guess we need to talk about.” I shrug not really caring to have this conversation with her.

“That bad?”

“Not really, I just don’t agree with everything he does.” Lights shine through the living room curtain. “Well I guess he’s here, come on I'll walk you to the door.” Heading towards the door she stops to ask me a question.

“Did you use birth control with Spooky?” Laughing I push her towards the door.

“Not at first no, but eventually I started taking the pill, which by the way there’s different kinds of.” Opening the door, I turn to her to give her a hug just to see her face frown with confusion.

“What are you doing here?” Turning around I come face to face with the devil himself.

“Hello to you to.” Oscar announces looking at me the whole time. 30 seconds go by before another car pulls into the driveway.

“Well there's my ride, I'll call you later Daisy, love you!” Monse yells running down the steps in towards dads car.

“Why are you here? It’s not even 8 yet.”

“Thought I'd surprise you; we need to talk.” He walks by me as if I wasn’t blocking his way in.

“Um, excuse me I didn’t invite you in!” I follow him once I close the door. “You can’t just walk into my house uninvited.” Laughing he sits down and leans back stretching his legs and arms.

“Come sit,” he pats the cushion beside him. I choose the other end of the couch. 10 minutes go by before I decide the silence begins to get to me.

“What did you want to talk about?” How awkward.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He locks his jaw in place.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don't play stupid with me.” Playing stupid? No, I'm actually stupid because I have no clue what the hell he’s talking about.

“Honestly have no clue what you’re talking about Oscar.”

“The baby...” It gets eerily quiet. My body runs cold, it feels like my body turns to stone.

“Got nothing to say now huh?” Hanging my head, I lock my fingers together in my lap.

“I did...I-I came to you and told you.” Glancing up at him, I see him look at me with disgust in his eyes.

“You didn’t tell me that you got an abortion.” His voice gets deep and raspy.

“No, who told you that?”

“That’s not important, you were my girl. You come to me about these things not-”

“How was I supposed to do that when you were behind bars? Huh?” My voice gets louder and louder. “I was 15 and scared Oscar. You weren’t here to help.”

“I would've been if you just told me from the beginning.” His neck is turning red from all the straining and yelling he's doing.

“You know that wouldn’t have stopped you from doing what you did!”

“How do you know?” He laughs, but it wasn’t one filled with humor, no, it was filled with sarcasm. “I would’ve done anything for you.”

“You told me to leave and build a life for myself.” I try to change to direction to conversation.

“That doesn’t mean leaving town, and getting an abortion.”

“Stop saying that, I didn’t get an abortion. Why do you keep saying that?”

“Why won’t you tell me what really happened? I want to believe you, but since you won’t tell me what happened I can only believe what other people tell me.” Was his smart ass response.

“Why can’t you just believe what I’m telling you and leave it at that?”

“Because it was my child!” He yelled.

“It was my child too.” I scream back officially breaking down in tears. “I lost the baby…” I manage to say as I’m trying to breathe through my soon to be panic attack.

Silence.

I guess he didn’t expect that. When you’ve been told one thing for years, a lie, and then hear another thing that might be just as worse as the lie, I guess it would render you silent.

“I was consistently worried about you, me, the baby, what my mom would think, and so stressed out. God I was so stressed, that before I knew it I had lost the baby. I was only 11 weeks along” Wiping my eyes I get up just to slowly pace the floor. “Please…say something.”

“Do you blame me?” Looking up at me, we lock eyes as so stop and face jinx

“No, I never would. The doctor said it happens often.”

“Did you believe them? That it happens often?” He whispered.

“No…it was my fault. I knew I shouldn’t have been that stressed but instead I still decided to take on everyone’s problems and my own.”

“You should’ve told me. You were mine, the baby was mine.” With his head hanging between his broad shoulders he starts running his fingers through his hair. “Had everything planned and written down in there. I was going to behave and get out early. Come home to you and our child. Get a job, buy a home, and have more children. Build a better life for our family. That’s what I wanted.”

“Im so so sorry Oscar!” Closing my eyes as tears run down my cheeks.

“That’s what kept me alive in there. Knowing I had you and our blessing to come home to. Then that all came crashing down when I found out the truth, well what I thought was the truth.” I stayed quite to let him get what he needed off his chest. “I don’t blame you, you shouldn’t have had to worry about me, I put you in that situation. For that I’m truly sorry Daisy.”

“Yo-you don’t owe me an apology.” I know my under eyes had to be an angry red from all the wiping and rubbing.

“I do, because no matter how mad I am I’m still in love with you.” I can’t move, I think I’ve stopped breathing too. “I’ve tried to stop, god I’ve tried. But I know where my heart is and who it belongs to.”

“You don’t mean that, you’re just upset Oscar.” Whimpering I sit down beside him.

“I mean everything I just said. But it’s because I love you that I can’t love you.”

“What? I’m confused. You love me, but you can’t love me?”

“That would put a target on you. Being my girl in the streets would put you and everyone you love in danger. I can’t have that, I would kill everyone for even looking at you the wrong way.” Oscar explains himself.

“I’ve dated you before, I know what it’s like.”

“But things have changed, I’m more powerful than I was before. I won’t put you in danger again, end of story.” He gets up and starts heading for the door. Jumping up I chase after him.

“You can’t just tell me you love me then walk out the door Oscar. That’s not fair. You’ve done this to me before and it left me in pieces last time.” I grab his arm to stop him from walking. “Please just talk to me more before you just close the book on us.”

“Goodnight Daisy, I’ll see you around.” He pulls his arm from my hands and locks the bottom lock before heading out the door. A loud sob comes from somewhere in the room and it’s once I collapse in the chair when I realize that the sound came from me.

~THE PRESENT~

As I’m wiping the tears from my face I decided here and now that this won’t be the end of us. He might’ve walked out but I refuse to just give up on him so easily. Then that’s when it hits me. All this time I’ve been running away from my feelings for him. Everything is so clear.

I’m still fucking in love Oscar Diaz.

My phone ringing brings me out my trance. Running to the kitchen I find the phone on the kitchen table and as soon as I seen the name something else comes to realization within these last 5 minutes. Only 2 people knew of me losing the baby. I hit decline just for the person to pick call right back. I have to options, ignore them and turn my phone off or answer them and confront them of their disgrace and lies. I hate confrontation so option number one sounds really nice right now. Too late!

“Why would you lie to Oscar and tell him that I had an abortion?” I spit in the phone.

“Daisy baby...”

TAG: @mbaku-babygirl @izraahh1 @shesbriaanayy @aka-eb @yxseminx

#on my block #oscar diaz #spooky #omb #monse finnie #cesar diaz #jamal turner #ruby martinez #oscar diaz x oc #spooky x oc #spooky fanfic #oscar diaz fanfic #on my block fanfiction

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