#Ace stuff

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Even after all this time and awareness, it feels like asexuality is still not treated like a proper sexuality. Recently had a girl tell me that she was at a place where she ‘felt so asexual’ because all the other girls were so beautiful and guys were ignoring her because of it. She didn’t know I was asexual and I didn’t take offence (I know she didn't meant it in a malicious way) but it does feel uncomfortable that people are using ‘asexual’ in lieu of ‘unattractive' or 'lacking sexual appeal.' It's really giving 90's/early 2000's slang of using 'gay' to mean 'lame.' Even shows like Brooklyn 99 which took immense pride in being progressive with their comedy, had an episode where one of the characters says "Oh, and I'm sorry if we implied you're both asexual nerds who can only be friends with service animals."

I have mentioned this before also, when I talked about how I feel like people are more comfortable erasing the identities of canonical aro/ace characters in media but act like it's unacceptable with other sexualities... but it does feel like asexuality (and aromanticism tbh) are still not considered 'real' sexualities. In the case of shipping fictional characters, I understand there is nuance to that issue and so don't want to get into it, but it does kinda add to my point.

Why is it that people treat asexuality like it's not a sexuality? Why is it that when I come out to people I'm met with insistence that I'm wrong about my sexuality, that I'm 'self diagnosing' (it's not a medical condition), that I'm probably 'just inexperienced' or haven't 'met the right person' or have a hormone issue? Why can't people just accept that it's a sexuality like any other??

#asexual #ace stuff #aroace tag #asexuality #ace #don't mind me just needed to vent #just tagging asexuality because it was that 'felt so asexual' comment that made me feel this #but I think it does extend to aromanticism as well #but who knows at least for me I can no longer tell where the ace ends and the aro begins

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

#asexual #asexuality #ace stuff #actually ace #ace culture #acespec #ace men #aromantic #aro #aro stuff #aro community #arospec #aro men #aspec #aspec stuff #aspec community #aspec culture #ace pride #aro pride #aspec pride #lgbtq+ #lgbtpride #lgbtq rights #lgbtqia #I make a post about this annually on april fifteenth #why you ask? #a couple years back I'd come across some people saying the type of things I mentioned about aspec men #the hateful monstrousness of what they'd said pissed me off and I wrote a rant about it #I've since gone on to make a post once a year on the day I'd made the first #btw last year's really gained quite the traction I still get notifs about it! I'm glad this message has reached so many people this year

[cacodaemonia]

Since it's ace week and I've been seeing even more "ace (and aro) people don't like shipping or smut and we just want more gen fan works!" posts than usual, I thought I'd remind folks that a lot of us do, in fact, love shipping.

Some of us are absolute smut goblins. Give us all the smut and shipping tropes and we will be well-fed. And for folks who prefer gen stuff, that's great! Make more of it so you all can enjoy it.

No one's experience is exactly like yours, so it's always wise to avoid the assumption that your opinions and preferences line up with those of everyone else in X group.

Side note: if you're also an ace smut goblin, you might appreciate that it's A Thing. 🖤🩶🤍💜

#ace stuff #ace week #asexuality #aegosexual #queer stuff #shipping #fandom #ace

[bizarreaizen]

religious conservatives: no sex before marriage !!

asexuals: okay

religious conservatives: wait no, not like that.

#asexual community #asexuality #asexual #actually asexual #asexual pride #asexual representation #asexual spectrum #acephobia #gray ace #ace stuff #ace pride #ace rep #ace representation #ace spec #ace spectrum #ace umbrella #aceflux #acephobia tw #acesexual #acespec #ace #pride #queer #religious conservatives #conservatives #religious #lgbtq #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq+ community #lgbt community

[samijami]

Reblog if you're asexual,

Or if you like creamy peanut butter

#asexual community #asexuality #asexual #asexual spectrum #asexuel #asexual jokes #peanut butter #creamy peanut butter #aroace #oriented aroace #aro/ace #ace stuff #ace pride #acespec #acearo #reblog please #please reblog #reblog this #reblog bait #reblg bait #rb bait #rblg bait #ace/aro #aromantic #aromantic spectrum #aromantic asexual #asexual aromantic #tw food #food cw #food tw

[breaking-news-the-aroace-has]

After a brief sexuality crisis, the aroace has remained firm in their identity while renewing their aesthetic appreciation of titties.

Broadcaster's note: There was supposed to be a pun with identity and iden-TITTY, but the aroace has butchered it, much to their disappointment :(

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #aromantic asexual #aspec #aromaticism #breaking news the aroace has #aro #breaking news #brought to you by ^him #asexual aromantic #asexual news #aro ace #acearo #asexuality #acespec #arospec #aro stuff #ace stuff #oriented aroace #oriented aromantic asexual

[variousqueerthings]

asexual in a bisexual way

bisexual in an asexual way

#the blur is real #that is -- am firmly and comfortably asexual at present point in time #but the possible experiences of bi and ace are incredibly flexible and overlapping from person to person #and they often see a kinship of experience/places where they meet #ace stuff #bi stuff #queer stuff #asexual #bisexual #and ALSO that fucking around with labels is good for the soul/part of what queerness as philosophy is about #it's all bi-aced as they say

[hello-im-queer]

I was today's years old when I realized that people actually think that other people are attractive.

Like

PEOPLE JUST LOOK AT A BODY AND BE LIKE : 'whoa I wanna date, hot, sexy, kiss kiss' ?!?!?

#i always thought ppl were joking #whoa #thanks jaiden animations #well #im indeed an asexual #lgbtq #aroace #asexual #asexual community #asexual aromantic #grey ace #gray ace #ace stuff #ace #ace positivity #ace pride #ace spec #imrwtm

[irenekohstudio]

cats and cats and cats

Biromantic Asexual Kitties!

#biroace #biromantic #asexual biromantic #biromantic asexual #asexual #bi romance #bisexual colors #bisexual #pride art #asexual flag #asexuality #acespec #aspec #cats #catart #ace pride #ace stuff #ace post

[bookcub]

i would like to celebrate a little because i have realized, back when i realized i was asexual, there was so little representation of ace people in literature, it was easy to read the vast majority of them. however now. . .. now we have significantly more rep, enough rep that i no longer have the time nor feel the obligation to read all the ones i encounter and i think that is beautiful! i am so excited to read the ones published and the ones to be written in the future and hope they find their target audience 🖤🩶🤍💜

#ace stuff #asexual #asexuality #lqbtqia #queer representation #lets hope we get ace rep in more mainstream media too!!

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Saw a reddit post today about a girl who was upset that her childhood best friend replaced a photo of the two of them in his wallet with one of him and his girlfriend. And while yeah, she was being unreasonable with a lot of what she was saying, I totally understand the sadness of a friend "replacing" you with someone they have romantic feelings for. Makes it worse when the top comment is this

Every single comment on this post is about how family and romantic relationships always take precedence over friendships. I don't have anything more to say to this aside from the fact that... this is why it's hard for aroaces to imagine futures for themselves. Society drills it into your head that you're going to live in a world where you are no one's priority if you don't have romantic relationships and it fucking sucks

#you know what's validating though #Daniel Sloss's bit on his best girl friend... the STARK opposite of this #aro stuff #ace stuff #aroace tag #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aro #ace #asexuality #aromanticism #i feel like I ought to add more and make this like a powerful essay #but it's too late rn i'm too tired

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Asexuals are forgotten and invalidated a lot. Especially if they identify as men or are masculine presenting. For that matter sometimes men in the ace community are even forgotten and invalidated by the community itself! So, men and masculine presenting members of the ace community, I want all of you to know that you just as valid as every single other member of the asexual community. I'm sorry if someone else has ever told you otherwise. You are a valuable and wonderful member of community and you deserve the space you take up in it. For those of you who aren't ace men yourself but one or more of your family/friends/loved ones is an ace man or an ace masc presenting person, please remind them that they're valid and loved any chance you get to.

I make a post with a reminder like this every year. I started it because I'd seen the way ace men were often left out of the conversation on ace issues and treated like an afterthought and felt that that was wrong.

#asexual #asexuality #ace stuff #actually ace #asexual spectrum #ace #ace positivity #ace pride #ace men #lgbtq+ #lgbtq equality #lgbtq rights #lgbtpride

[cacodaemonia]

I keep meaning to toss this link up here for other aces who might have wondered, "But I love reading/writing smut, so I guess I'm not ace?" Little excerpt from the article:

Aegosexual or anegosexual[1], historically known as autochorissexual, is a microlabel on the asexual spectrum that describes individuals who experience a disconnect between themselves and the subject of arousal. Aegosexuals may experience sexual fantasies, enjoy porn and other sexual content, or masturbate, but they generally feel little to no sexual attraction and typically do not desire to involve themselves in sex with another individual.

#asexual #asexuality #ace stuff #queer stuff #aegosexual #fyi

[takaraphoenix]

I hate how much heteronormative storytelling links romance and sexuality together, because I just know that that’s why it took me so many years to figure out that I’m ace.

And yes, I’m specifying heternormative storytelling, because that’s the thing we get force-fed in media pretty much from the day we first get put in front of a screen.

Once we move past the fluffy Disney movie stage of life and enter the teenage years, where sexuality becomes a part of the storytelling to varying degrees of explicitness, we hit the real problem zone. *

(* For this particular issue. The forced romantic narrative in every single children’s movie is its own problem zone when we’re talking about aromanticism.)

A thing I complain about quite frequently is the lack of m/f friendships, the way whenever A Guy and A Gal are friends, the heteronormativity kicks in. Unless they’re both in explicit other (stable! not ‘this ship is meant to be broken up for The Main Romance’) romantic relationships, it’s virtually impossible for the straights to just... keep them friends. There have to be some kind of romantic feelings involved. No other possible reason why A Guy might like A Gal or vice versa. The notion of pure, actual friendship goes over these writers’ heads.

Anyway. To the point of the post. Once The Gal and The Guy realize that they aren’t ~just friends~ but really have romantic feelings for each other and once the will they/won’t they stops and they actually will... More often than not do the writers forget to actually include any romance at all.

I mean, genuinely. Their relationship continues the exact same way it was before they got together. But now they have sex. The only discernible difference between “friendship” and “romance” in pretty much every TV show or movie I grew up on was that they now fucked and kissed.

Very often highlighted even more by the fact that they’re portrayed as so fucking horny, they barely got the confession out before immediately stumbling into the bedroom to get it on. Not a single date. Not even a full conversation wasted there. Just going at it like Noah just herded them onto a big ship.

And if you grow up watching these things during your formative years of what constitutes a relationship and they influence you during your “what the fuck’s going on with my own identity” phase, they paint an incredibly conflated image of romance and sex.

Namely, that romance not only doesn’t work without sex, but even more so also a notion that the only real difference between friendship and romance is sexual intercourse.

So, even if the term “asexual” somehow crossed your path at any point prior to the “what the fuck’s going on with my own identity” phase, that gets immediately dismissed as even vaguely being a possibility if you do experience romantic attraction. **

(** And also if you experience aesthetic attraction, seeing as absolutely nobody and nothing really prepared 90s kids for the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction. Kids nowadays have more resources more readily available thanks to the internet and I’m genuinely so glad for them.)

Clearly, I can’t be asexual because I find people pretty and finding people pretty means wanting to have sex with them and having sex is the requirement for romance and I do want romance in my life. So, I guess I’m a “late bloomer”?

So. Yeah. My two cents on how heteronormative storytelling has harmed not just homosexual kids figuring themselves out but also asexual kids, because of the ways in which heterosexual relationships have been and still are being framed in media.

#Asexuality #Ace Stuff #Aspec Stuff

[bizarreaizen]

i would love for this to happen

#asexuality #actually asexual #asexual #asexual community #asexual positivity #asexual pride #asexual representation #asexual spectrum #asexual memes #asexual humor #asexual jokes #ace humor #ace umbrella #ace stuff #ace pride #acespec #ace memes #ace positivity #ace rep #ace representation #ace spec #ace spectrum #aceflux #acesexual #gray ace #ace #pride #queer #lgbtq #lgbtqia+

[samijami]

Aro/ace people can be otherly orientated too, so aro/aces can be pan, bi, gay, whatever.

And if you don't understand that, then that's fine. But please respect others and not make it your personal mission in life to make it your problem.

#asexuality #asexual #asexual spectrum #asexuel #aromantic #aro #aroace #aroallo #oriented aroace #aro/ace #ace stuff #ace pride #acespec #ace #ace/aro #aromantic spectrum #aromanitc #asexual aromantic #aromantic asexual #aro ace #ace aro #lgbtiq #lgbtq rights #lgbt pride #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbt rights #lgbtqi #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+