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leiawritesstories · 7 months

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1778 (My Soldier Boy)

Rowaelin Month, Day 28: Wartime Sweethearts AU

A/N: this might just be the most American thing i've ever written lmaooooo 😂😂 so here's the context: the fic is set during the American Revolutionary War, which took place from 1776-1781. Rowan is a soldier in the Continental Army (the American side) and Aelin is the only daughter of a Loyalist (sympathetic to the British) family. and they're star-crossed lovers, yay!! posting this partially as a lil birthday treat to myself but mostly for you, hope you enjoy :))

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: archaic language (i'm a nerd lol), mentions of war, old outdated traditions, mentions of battle, brief mild angst, flirting

enjoy!!!

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16th July 1778

Heart of my heart,

I write this in secret, barely able to make out my letters by the faint light of this single candle. I apologize for the sloppiness of my script; my governess would have a fit if she were to see this chicken scratch. Of course, I would then retort that she ought to have taught me to read and write in near darkness, as that is the more useful skill these days.

A few words, my love–we are leaving in three days.Yes, leaving! Mother has only said that it was what she and Father thought best, given the current…unrest. I am perfectly capable of reading the unspoken words. We are leaving because they fear what our neighbors might do while we sleep. We are leaving because the English are so hated here. We are leaving because nobody has seen or heard from my brother in months. Nobody save me, that is. I know where Aedion went, and I know what he is doing.

If you love me, Rowan, please send word that my brother is safe, that he is well clothed and has some form of roof over his head. Please. It will calm my nightly worries at least a small bit.

I do not know where we will go, only that we cannot make a scene of our leaving. We must pretend that we are only going into town like we typically do, except that our cart will be full of our belongings, rather than grain and butter to trade. I suspect we shall attempt to head east, towards the port at Baltimore, and from there we shall attempt to book passage on a ship. Father seems convinced that returning to England is the best course of action.

I do not want to leave.

They do not know that, nor do they care. It breaks my heart to admit it, but they do not. They expect me to keep quiet and obey. I have heard them discussing the possibilities of our lives once we return to Mother’s family estate in England–marriage. My marriage. To some titled landowner’s spoilt son, who gives not a whit what I want or who I am as long as I can give birth. I refuse to subject myself to such a fate.

Rowan, my love, I write this both as news and as a warning. I will not silently accompany my parents in their hasty retreat. I cannot abandon my brother in the middle of a war, nor can I leave you, the other half of my soul.

I will be waiting for you, my love. I swear it.

To whatever end,

AAG

Heart in his throat, Captain Rowan Whitethorn marched in step with his regiment up the muddy road leading into Baltimore. The bustling port city was largely unmarred by the war that continued to rage on, continuing to serve as major sea access for traders and soldiers alike. As he and the men that called him their leader entered the city proper, Rowan breathed a short, soft sigh of relief. They had two weeks of leave, unless they were called back into battle, and he fully intended to use those two weeks to the fullest.

“Enjoy your leave, men.” He saluted. “We shall regroup here in two weeks.” The blue-jacketed men broke ranks and ambled into town, most of them probably dispersing to the nearest pleasure house for a good strong drink and as many hours with a woman as their few remaining coins could buy. Rowan didn’t begrudge them their pleasure.

After years of war, they all needed whatever solace they could find. As did he.

Fingers instinctively wrapping around the small, precious bundle of letters in his jacket pocket, Rowan strolled towards the calmer part of town, the residential section not so crowded with soldiers on leave, traders, merchants, shouting vendors, and all the rest of the noise, chaos, and diverse cast of characters that populated a thriving shipping town like Baltimore. He glanced at the street markers as he walked, searching for the one with a blue stripe painted around it.

There.

Pulse hammering louder than gunfire, he turned down that street and walked past tidy clapboard houses interspersed with the occasional grocer, butcher, baker, and seamstress. He was certain every single one of the handful of people he passed could hear his thundering heartbeat, but none of them had said anything to the young man whose ragged blue jacket marked him an officer in the Continental Army who was walking up their quiet street like it was perfectly normal for him to do. One motherly lady had simply offered him a smile and a “thank you, son,” which had struck him right to the heart.

He emerged into a busier street, full of shops and taverns and public houses, the businesses bustling but not crowded with soldiers and sailors like the cheaper taverns down by the wharf were. Eyes scanning the signs, Rowan walked up the side of the street. The building he was looking for appeared suddenly in front of him. A brightly painted kingsflame flower adorned the pub’s wooden sign, its carefully wrought petals the work of a singular artist. An artist Rowan knew as well as his own heartbeat.

With his heart in his throat, Rowan walked into the pub. Immediately, a peal of soft, faintly raspy laughter caught his ear, and his attention snapped to the bar at the back of the softly-lit, cozy space. Behind the well-worn oak bartop, her golden hair tied back with a blue rag that he recognized as his own old shirt, stood the woman who owned every last shred of his heart.

Aelin Galathynius glanced over towards the door, and the whole sky lived in her vivid eyes.

Tin clattered against the bar.

Surprised grunts arose from a table full of stocky, gray-haired farmers.

And with a rush of air and a strangled gasp of his name, Aelin was in his arms, tears glittering in her eyes, warm and solid and real and clinging to him as if her life depended on it.

He was here.

Rowan was here, whole and healthy and standing on his own two legs in a much-patched blue jacket and dirt-stained trousers and battered boots, and his eyes were on her alone.

Aelin flew across the pub floor and all but leapt into her soldier boy’s arms, clinging desperately to him as if he would vanish unless she held him tight. She buried her face in his shoulder and drew in a deep lungful of his scent, the faint trace of mountain pines clinging to him even beneath the layers of sweat and grime. Hot, salty tears of joy leaked into his shirt through a tear in his jacket’s shoulder.

She felt his deep, familiar chuckle rumble beneath her ear. “Why are you crying, my love?”

“I’m crying,” she sniffled, raising her head to meet his adoring gaze, “because you smell so bloody awful that my eyes are watering.”

He tipped his head back and laughed, loud and unrestrained. “God above, I missed you.”

“I missed you more,” she returned, tracing her thumbs along the sharp juts of his cheekbones. “Every day felt like the longest one yet.”

“I’m here now,” he murmured in the soft voice he only used for her.

With tears pooled in her eyes, Aelin leant an inch forward and kissed him, her soldier boy, with all the pent-up fervor of the last several months. She’d been so terrified when her parents announced that they were leaving the Colonies, afraid that she would be uprooted from the life she’d come to love and forced to marry some stuffy lord and shut away in a manor house forever. The very idea that she would be forced to leave Rowan, her love, and Aedion, her brother, without knowing whether either of them would make it back to Baltimore unharmed was enough to disrupt her sleep. She had hardly dared to hope that her desperate escape plan would work until she stood on the pier and watched her parents’ ship depart without her on it.

Every long day of pouring pints of beer for rowdy sailors, handsy soldiers, and disruptive drunken no-goods was worth it to have her soldier boy back in her arms.

“Where–ah, Rowan!” Breathless, Aelin poked him in the ribs, pretending to disapprove of the promising way he kissed her throat. “We’re in public.”

“Let’s fix that, shall we?” He set her down onto her feet, caught her hand, and grinned. “I believe I need a bath, my love. Could you help me with that?”

“You are incorrigible,” she laughed. She pecked a quick kiss on his lips and led him out of the pub and down the streets, turning into a quiet neighborhood and leading him up the front steps of a tidy little brick cottage with a blue front door. “Please be kind about the mess.”

“I’ll show you a mess,” he whispered into her ear, far too tempting for his own good.

She flushed, her cheeks staining bright pink. “Rowan!”

“Aelin,” he mimicked. They were safely inside the house, so he looped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him. “I’ve been dreaming of you for months, love.”

“And you’re going to bathe before you act out any of those dreams, my love.” Giggling, she ducked out of his embrace and led him down the short hall to a washroom. “The tub is full, but it might be cold.”

“I don’t care if the water is cold.” He shrugged off his jacket and stepped out of his boots. “It’s a hell of a better bath than we get in the army.”

She sighed fondly. “I’m still going to boil some water.” He made to protest, and she placed her fingers over his mouth. “Ah-ah, soldier boy. Let me spoil you. Besides, the hot water is half for your filthy clothes.”

“Fine,” he acquiesced. He shed the rest of his dirty, worn clothing and climbed into the tepid bathwater, groaning quietly as he sank into a proper bath for the first time in too long. “Join me, love.”

“Soon.” She kissed his forehead and dropped a washrag and a bar of soap into the tub. “When you stink a little less.”

His playful growl followed her all the way out to the front room.

Following the bath–where she had indeed joined her soldier boy and taken his mind off the weight of war for a few moments–and a hearty dinner, Aelin exchanged her regular blouse and skirt for a soft cotton nightdress, braided her hair, and settled into bed with a lantern lit on the side table and a novel in her hands. Rowan was in the washroom; the faint splashing of water indicated that he was scrubbing out his uniform like he insisted he wanted to. So she opened her novel to the page where she had last left off and lost herself in the tender romance unfolding amidst the pages. She was so absorbed in the novel that she didn’t notice the mattress shifting as Rowan climbed into the bed and settled down beside her.

His soft, low chuckle drew her out of the novel-world. “Good story, Ae?”

“Wonderful,” she murmured. Reaching the end of the chapter, she placed the bookmark, closed the book, laid it aside, blew out the lantern, and tucked herself into his side, her head against his chest.

“I missed you,” he whispered after a peacefully quiet interval, stroking one hand idly up and down her back.

“And I you.” In the faint moonlight, her eyes met his, months of pent-up yearning and uncertainty glossing their turquoise depths. “I am sorry I didn’t write more.”

He soothed her worry with a gentle kiss. “I would likely have found you before your letters found me. ’Tis the life of a soldier.”

She hummed in agreement. “On that note…when did you last see Aedion?” Her older brother, whom she loved dearly but whose rashness she did not ignore, had vanished from the Galathynius home early last spring, leaving no indication of where he was going or why. Aelin alone had an idea of what he had gone to do, because he had confided his wishes to her. He had gone off to be a soldier in the Continental Army, but his unit were scouts, which meant that he could be anywhere between Philadelphia and Yorktown.

Rowan exhaled a long, controlled breath. “The last time our paths crossed was in September, at the camp outside Newport. He mentioned going south, but no details.”

“South.” Aelin rolled the idea over in her mind, forcing herself not to consider the harsher implications. “Was he…how was he?”

“Healthy, as far as I could tell, and tired, but so are all of us soldiers.” Rowan ran his hands along Aelin’s tense shoulders, encouraging her to relax. “He said to give you his love and that he’ll do unspeakably horrible things to me if I hurt you.”

Aelin laughed. “Now that sounds like Aedy. Too protective for his own good, he is.” Idly, her touch trailed along the slope of Rowan’s shoulders, tracing the new scar that slashed from his right shoulder down towards his pectoral muscle. “Tell him that I will return the unspeakably horrible favor if either one of you does anything stupid.”

“Indeed I shall.” Laughing softly, Rowan pulled Aelin flush against his chest, her heartbeat atop his, and kissed her. She sighed into the kiss, threading her fingers into his overgrown hair.

“I don’t want you to go back,” she murmured after they had separated.

He swallowed thickly. “We both know I must.”

“I know.” Her voice was a fragile thread. “I’m keeping you all to myself for the next two weeks, though. It’s only fair.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, my wildfire.”

She smiled tenderly at him. “I love you too, my soldier boy.”

Mid-November, 1778

Aelin,

I apologize both for the shortness of this note and the fact that it took me so bloody long to write it. There is something I must tell you, and I can only hope that you hear it from Rowan rather than me and my paltry excuse for a letter.

We are marching to Savannah. Intelligence has it that the Redcoats intend to advance upon the city, and we cannot let the stronghold go without a fight.

I cannot promise that I will be able to write for any amount of time, and as much as I hate to do this, I leave you all my affection. I will stay as safe as possible, that I can promise. The moment I am able, I swear on my blood that I will come to you, and if possible, that I will bring Rowan.

Stay strong for us, dear sister.

Yours,

Aedion

The short note had reached her in late January of 1779, after three and a half months of ever-increasing tension and worry spurred by the grim reports coming up from the South. Before he left in mid-November, the same time Aedion’s letter was dated, Rowan had revealed that his unit was headed to Savannah to reinforce the troops already there. He had been confident that, with the extra reinforcements, the Army would be able to stave off the British–if not all on their own, then at least long enough for the shipment of French troops to arrive.

Just before the New Year, the newspapers reported Savannah’s defeat.

Since then, all Aelin had received was silence. No letters, no notes, nothing listed in the papers, no weary soldiers showing up on her doorstep. The fact that Rowan’s and Aedion’s names remained out of the papers was but a small measure of comfort; all too often, fallen soldiers’ names never made it onto the listings.

The cloth tying back her hair was black now, the only outward sign of suffering she would allow herself. The people who came into the pub noticed her quiet demeanor, the way her usual vivacious cheer was dampened, and passed quiet condolences to her across the worn oak bartop–a squeeze of the hand, a mourning mother’s shared tears, a word of comfort, a “thank-you” from someone who rarely spoke those words. It lifted her spirits a bit, but not much.

Every night, she trudged home to her quiet little house, cradled a small watercolor portrait of Rowan–done a year ago, it was the only portrait she’d ever convinced him to sit for–stared down into his painted face, and refused to let her captive tears fall. Though her heart and soul ached for her soldier boy, though her sleep was disturbed by nightmarish imaginings of what could have happened or could be happening to him, she refused to let her tears fall until she knew his fate for certain.

If nothing else, she owed him--and the child just beginning to stir inside her womb--that fragile hope.

~~~

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#my writing #rowaelin month #rowaelinmonth #rowaelin month 2023 #rowaelin #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass au #revolutionary war au #american revolution #happy birthday to me

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amberlynnmurdock · 11 months

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New Love, New Haven

Chapter Ten: Yale Graduation

Pairing: Benjamin Tallmadge x Original Female Character

Summary: Ben, Nathan, Enoch and Asher graduate Yale in 1773. As their time at Yale comes to an end, new beginnings, and revelations are on the horizon.

A/N: SORRY THIS WAS SLIGHTLY DELAYED! Bit of a time jump in this chapter! I hope you are all doing well, and if you're in the Northeast like me, stay safe from the haze! <3

May 1773

As Sadie sat at the top of her room on a clear and sunny Saturday morning, she thought of how the past few months flew by since December. She moved her desk so it was now facing the window that overlooked the streets of New Haven, leading up to Yale. Normally, Saturday mornings were quiet and shops opened up a bit later but since today was the Yale Class of ’73 Graduation day, people were already trickling into the streets. The shops opened up earlier, especially the ones that sold flowers, as well as the tailor for anyone who needed last-minute stitching before they were to walk the stage.

Despite the excitement in the air, Sadie couldn’t help but feel sad. Change was coming, and she wasn’t sure how she’d be able to adapt to it all. So quickly, she fell in love with Ben. So quickly, did the months of spending secret evenings with him pass by. What would his graduation mean for them? New Haven wasn’t his home—Setauket was. Would he go back? Would he stay?

More importantly, how will Sadie move forward? Never mind wanting to be with Ben, but where was she to go? What was she to do? She’ll be another year older this summer, and she couldn’t foresee herself staying at the tavern any longer than August. What was to happen?

Nathan would be taking a teaching job in East Haddam—not just boys, but girls, too. The session for girls would be starting before normal hours, at five in the morning. At least that put a smile on Sadie’s face. It proved Nathan wasn’t all talk about women’s education—he was now acting on it, too. Nathan was Sadie’s first teacher and she knew the girls would love him as much as she.

As for Ben… well, he had yet to tell Sadie what his plans post-graduation were. She knew she’d support whatever decision he made. Even if it meant they would have to be apart for a little while…but not forever, right?

And what was Sadie to do?! Her sisters followed their mother's path: get married and have children. Sadie didn’t want that. At least, not yet. And right now, if that were to be the case, she’d only want her husband to be Benjamin Tallmadge. And how could that even happen if her entire family didn’t know about them? It could never happen without the blessing of her father… or Nathan!

That’s when it slowly dawned on her, that the secret must be out, today. No matter the reaction and consequences—at least, it would have all been worth it.

She sighed at her desk and looked at the large pile of papers in front of her. Papers she’s collected over the past few months, papers that have been graced by Ben’s own ink and quill. These papers held so many memories, so many lessons and so many secret messages, all for Sadie, from Ben. They were starting to feel like simpler times—and Sadie hated that. She ran her fingers over them before holding them to her chest.

“Please don’t be our only memories,” Sadie whispered.

She placed them back in the drawer and gathered herself.

☆☆☆☆

Sadie sat in between her father and Genny. She waited patiently for the graduates to enter the stage. In the meantime, she looked around the audience and saw some parents already dabbing their eyes with tissues. With her hands in her lap, Sadie sighed in her seat, trying not to let her thoughts from earlier occupy her mind.

“Hey,” Genny whispered, “are you okay? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Sadie nodded, immediately fixing her posture. “Yes, just a bit nervous, I guess.”

Genny smiled, “it’s all right. Plus, we will all celebrate with food, drink, and the beach afterward.”

“That’s true,” Sadie nodded, “I’m looking forward to that.” She tried to ignore the heavy feeling that set in her chest, remembering that by then she’d have to confess her relationship with Ben to Nathan. She was dreading so much today—it was hard to feel excited.

Genny gave her a warm smile in response.

Suddenly, the president of Yale, Rev. Naphtali Daggett, walked on the stage and waved for the crowd to quiet down.

“Thank you for joining us on this bright Saturday morning,” he announced at the podium. Dagget was short in stature. He had a white mustache and white hair, and wore a royal blue tailcoat and a white buttoned shirt. He certainly looked like he could be the president of Yale. Now that Sadie thought of it, she remembered Ben telling her he was pro tempore—for the time being, since their last president, Clap, resigned.

“It is with great honor and pleasure to announce Yale’s Class of Seventeen Hundred and Seventy-Three,” Dagget continued. The graduating class was waiting at the sides of the stage for their cue to walk on stage and be called by name. Sadie tried to find Nathan on either side, now suddenly feeling much calmer and more excited for her brother. Nathan might be her biggest inspiration and she couldn’t wait to see what he would make of this world—what change he would bring and ultimately his impact.

“And now, may I present to you, your graduates!” Dagget exclaimed as he motioned for the students to walk up the steps. He undid a scroll and began to read names aloud. Sadie braced herself for Nathan and Ben.

After about five minutes of reading names, Dagget finally announced Nathan.

“Nathaniel Hale!”

“Woo!” Sadie, her father, and Genny cheered at Nathan’s name. Nathan took his diploma and searched the crowd quickly before landing on Sadie. With a big smile, he raised his right fist up and hollered back before descending the steps again.

“Benjamin Tallmadge!”

The shouting of Ben’s name made Sadie almost jerk in her seat. She opened her mouth to cheer but quickly closed her mouth, hoping no one noticed her slip-up. She clapped loudly instead and made sure to meet Ben’s eyes. He smiled graciously on the stage, looking very handsome in his own blue tailcoat and white shirt, and smiled as he finally did meet Sadie’s eyes. Sadie then wondered if anyone from his family were here to cheer him on. It didn’t seem like they were.

That made Sadie sad, and more upset with herself for thinking so selfishly this morning. She now hoped Ben would go home to Setauket to see his family—never mind her.

After they called Ben’s name, it was Asher Wright and then Enoch, who also received cheering from Sadie, Richard and Genny. At the end of the ceremony, families went to the front yard of Yale to meet their newly graduated sons. Sadie, her father, and Genny slowly trickled out and waited for Nathan to appear among the crowd.

“I did it!” Nathan shouted, waving his diploma in the air, “I’ve graduated from Yale! What’s next, taking over the world?”

Sadie laughed and practically squealed when Nathan ran to give her a hug first.

“Let me see it!” Sadie tried to reach for his diploma. Nathan rolled out the diploma and held it proudly. The blackletter font on the diploma was beautifully written with a gold foil at the bottom left corner. At the center of the diploma was Nathan’s name written in large, and underneath was magna cum laude. Sadie couldn’t help but imagine her name there as well. As if reading her mind, Nathan placed a hand on Sadie’s shoulder softly.

“One day,” he whispered. Sadie smiled and handed the diploma back to him. Turning around, he shook his father’s hand, which is the closest he’d get to receiving a “congratulations.” Then, he turned his attention to Genny, who blushed warmly at the sight of Nathan, who brought her in for a hug.

Sadie watched them thoughtfully and smiled to herself before looking away to give them privacy. As she turned to face elsewhere, she saw Ben making his way toward the Hales. He walked with his head down, allowing the sun to catch his golden brown hair, diploma at his side. When Ben looked up, he met Sadie’s smile.

“Congratulations, Benjamin,” Sadie smirked as Ben neared her. Ben shrugged his shoulders and blushed, holding his diploma out.

“Do you want to see it?” Ben asked raising an eyebrow.

“Of course,” Sadie insisted.

Ben unrolled his diploma, revealing essentially the same thing that Nathan had except underneath Ben’s full name was the Latin phrase summa cum laude. Sadie gasped at the sight and met Ben’s blue eyes, who looked quite proud at that moment.

“Top of your class,” Sadie stated, “I’m honored to be one of your pupils,” she joked. Ben couldn't his the blush that crept on his cheeks. He nervously looked over Sadie’s shoulder to see Nathan and Genny looking at Nathan’s diploma.

“Honored to teach you,” Ben replied lowly.

“I think today’s the day, Ben,” Sadie bit her lip, still unsure of her decision to tell Nathan the truth about their relationship. Ben immediately knew what Sadie meant when she said that. He looked at her thoughtfully, searching her eyes for any ounce of hesitation or uncertainty.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

Sadie nodded, “when it happens, just follow my lead.”

“Always,” Ben agreed.

☆☆☆☆

Nathan, Sadie, Genny, Ben, Enoch, and Asher were all gathered around a wooden table at the tavern. Richard poured everyone a glass of ale, including Sadie, and cheered to the graduates. Sadie had calmly chosen a seat next to Ben when they arrived, and he hid his surprised expression as she sat down next to him. He cooly watched for Nathan's reaction, who didn’t seem to mind it. Ben wasn’t sure when Sadie would tell him, but the longer it took, the more anxious he began to feel.

“So, what’s next for you lads?” Asher asked and looked around the table, wondering who would be the first to answer. Of course, it was Nathan.

“I’ve taken a teaching job in East Haddam,” Nathan announced. Genny affectionately squeezed Nathan’s leg, clearly excited for him. Sadie wondered though, if Genny had the same worries as she. It didn’t seem like she did—Genny truly seemed happy without a doubt. It only made Sadie feel more guilty.

“It starts at the end of August,” Nathan continued. “But I will be moving up there at the beginning.”

“I think I may be goin’ back to York City for the summer and find a job there,” Enoch piped in, “I loved my experience there last time. I’ve been wanting to go back.”

“Here, here,” Asher said, “to both of you. Though my path is similar to Nathan’s—I’ve also found a teaching job in Bridgeport. I’ll be leaving in July.”

“That’s wonderful, Asher!” Nathan exclaimed. “And here’s to you!”

After everyone took a sip of their ale, the attention fell on Ben, who hadn’t shared his plans post-graduation yet.

“And what about you, Tallmadge?” Nathan asked.

Ben cleared his throat and quickly glanced at Sadie, who also patiently awaited Ben’s answer.

“I um, also got a teaching job. In Wethersfield,” Ben answered, his eyes landing on Sadie’s after he spoke. She pressed her lips together in response, pleasantly surprised Ben would be staying in Connecticut.

“That’s wonderful, Ben,” Genny praised. “I’m sure all of you will make great teachers. I can’t wait to hear all the stories when you come back.”

“You will be back? In New Haven?” Sadie asked, truthfully meaning the question for Ben. She looked around the table to not look suspicious.

“Yes,” Ben answered immediately. He cleared his throat again, “well, I will be.”

“Of course,” Nathan replied, “you can’t get rid of me that easily, sister.”

Wethersfield. The town kept ringing in the back of Sadie’s mind at the table. Behind every sip, every laugh shared, every fake smile, was Wethersfield. Sadie traced the back of her glass with her thumb, stroking it absentmindedly. She didn’t notice she was being spoken to.

“Sadie, are you ready for the beach?” Genny’s voice pulled Sadie from her thoughts. Ben looked at her with concern written all over his face.

“Oh, yes,” Sadie answered, quickly standing up along with everyone. “I’ll grab my bag, then I’m ready to go.”

☆☆☆☆

Genny joined Nathan on his horse, while Enoch and Asher rode on their separate horses. This left Ben and Sadie, on Ben’s horse, Willow. Ben helped Sadie hop onto Willow before climbing the stallion himself. The group rode down the path toward the beach. After a short while, when most of them were ahead of Ben and Sadie, Ben pulled Willow back a bit so they wouldn’t hear their conversation.

Sadie had been looking around the forest thoughtfully, feeling her back hit Ben’s chest every once in a while. She felt him lean down to her ear, which sent a pleasant vibration down her left side.

“I wanted to tell you in private,” Ben whispered, “about Wethersfield.”

“It’s all right,” Sadie replied. “I’m not mad.”

“We have the whole summer,” Ben reasoned as if trying to make himself feel better about the situation. “I’m not leaving yet.”

“Don’t say that word,” Sadie chastised.

“I’ll write to you. Every day,” Ben promised. “I’ll come to visit you.”

“Enough,” Sadie admonished. “Let's not worry about that yet. We’ve got something else to worry about,” Sadie explained, gesturing to Nathan up ahead. She could feel Ben sigh heavily behind her, agreeing.

Ben had Willow catch up with the group. The closer they got to the beach, the stronger the smell of the ocean became. Sadie breathed it in, the fresh air clearing her mind for a moment. Upon arrival, they slid off their horses and made their way to the sandy beach.

Ben watched Sadie carefully, waiting for any cue from her that now would be the time to confess, but he saw no such movement from Sadie. She walked along the sand, shortly behind Nathan, holding her shoes in her hand.

She glanced back at Ben and offered a soft smile. He wondered if things would change between them, once everyone knew about them. Part of him wished they’d keep it the way it was. Not that he didn’t want people to know, but his moments with Sadie in private felt like an escape from the world. He felt as if it were just the two of them when they were together, and nothing could or would ever ruin that. If people knew, would he lose that sense of security?

Would he lose Sadie, somehow?

“Ah, it’s perfect today,” Nathan observed, kicking his shoes off and rolling up his pants. Genny steadied herself on his shoulder as she did the same, undoing her kerchief and letting her locks flow freely as the wind rushed by. Sadie mirrored her movements, throwing her shoes in the sand and undoing her hair as well.

She watched as Nathan gently placed his fingers on the back of Genny’s neck, and quickly looked to give them privacy. Sadie wondered what it’d be like once she and Ben were allowed to show such displays of affection. She looked at Ben, who may have been wondering the same thing. He placed his shoes in the sand and helped Enoch spread a large blanket. Asher unpacked a basket of ale.

For a while, the group splashed on the shore, laughing and celebrating the new graduates. Ben and Sadie kept a comfortable distance and distracted themselves from each other by talking to everyone else, except for each other. The longer Sadie waited for the perfect moment, the more doubt she had. Maybe they were better off being a secret.

It wasn’t until they were all sitting on the large blanket, forming a circle with the bottles of ale in the middle that Sadie really started to feel the clock ticking. It could be any moment, but it had to be today.

“So, with everyone’s new ventures on the horizon, what are you all most excited for?” Genny posed the question for the group, looking at everyone.

“I’m excited to learn more,” Asher piped, “I’ll be working with other teachers. I can’t wait to learn from them.” Asher took a sip of ale and awaited for someone else to answer.

“I think a change of scenery is what I’m looking forward to most,” Enoch stated. “York City is quite exuberant, compared to New Haven.”

“I bet there’s lots to do,” Sadie added. Enoch nodded in response.

“You’d love it, Sadie!”

“Well you must bring me back a souvenir or something,” Sadie smiled.

“Better yet, come visit!”

“Sadie, if you visit Enoch before you visit me in East Haddam, I’ll be very upset,” Nathan chimed in, squinting his eyes at his brother. Sadie laughed.

“East Haddam compared to York City—there’s a clear winner of the more exciting place. Sorry, Nathan,” Sadie smiled, “Enoch might have you beat.”

“I kid, I kid. Well, I for one am excited to educate young scholars, boys and girls alike,” Nathan stated proudly. Genny gave his arm a tight squeeze. “I’m happy to teach the next generation.”

“They’ve got quite the mentor,” Ben spoke up. “They’re very lucky to have you.”

As they all kept chatting about their ventures, Sadie could feel a hole growing in her chest, a whole filled with the anxiety of telling Nathan and his friends about her and Ben. She uncrossed her legs and dug her feet in the sand.

“And what are you most looking forward to, Benny? Finally going to meet a lovely lady in Wethersfield, settle down, start a family?” Nathan asked his friend. Ben took a shaky breath, unsure of what to say. He glanced at Sadie who felt it in her heart that it would be now or never.

“I’m not too sure,” Ben answered, looking at Sadie and then at Nathan. “That I’ll meet a lady. I—I might have already met one,” Ben said.

Nathan raised his eyebrows in surprise, clearly taken aback his friend hadn’t mentioned this bit of news.

“Already met her? And you haven’t come to me about her once?” Nathan questioned incredulously with a smile, clearly excited for his friend. Now, it seemed everyone was curious about Ben’s mysterious lady.

Ben looked at Sadie once more, his eyes wide, waiting for her to take control of the conversation. Sadie bit her lip and shook her head in exasperation—it truly was now or never.

“It’s me,” Sadie interjected. She paused and watched as everyone tried to make sense of what she had said. Sadie focused on Nathan, whose opinion on this mattered to her more than anyone else’s could.

“I’m sorry,” Nathan shook his head, confused, “you, what, Sadie?” He placed the bottle of ale he had in his hand on the sand and uncrossed his legs as well, leaning in. Genny’s mouth was agape and she leaned over next to Nathan, placing a calming hand on his shoulder.

“It’s me he’s talking about,” Sadie answered, feeling her heart pound in her chest. She ignored the confused looks on Enoch and Asher’s faces and held eye contact with Nathan, who still wasn’t piecing it together. His eyes went back and forth between Ben and Sadie, who’s own expressions looked quite guilty.

“Talking about what?” Nathan prodded. Genny cleared her throat to speak, but Nathan gestured for her to not.

“Nathan,” Ben began, taking a deep breath, “I… Sadie and I…”

“Sadie and you are what?!” Nathan interrupted after Ben’s awkward stumbling. Clearly, neither of them was prepared for this reaction—truthfully, they weren’t prepared for any kind of reaction at all.

“We have been seeing each other for the past few months, Nathan,” Sadie blurted then covered her mouth with her hands, almost wishing she could take the words back. Nathan stood up from the sand, along with everyone else. Enoch and Asher slowly made their exit and walked along the shore, as Nathan, Genny, Sadie, and Ben stood in a circle. Soon enough, Genny made her exit as well.

“Seeing each other?” Nathan repeated, running a hand through his blonde hair. His face had turned red in anger, and his eyes darted to Ben. “You’ve been together this whole time?!” Nathan’s fists clenched at his sides. It wasn’t so much that he was upset they were together, it was that his own sister and best friend didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him the truth earlier. Was he not trustworthy? Did they think he would curse it? Why was he kept out of this?

“Leave us,” Nathan gritted his teeth, looking at Ben. “I want to talk to my sister alone.”

Ben quickly stepped away, letting the Hales have their moment.

“Nathan, listen,” Sadie pleaded, “it—it wasn’t planned it just happened and—I didn’t know how you’d react if you would be okay—“

Nathan waved his hands for her to stop, “Sadie, I am your brother, I’m your biggest supporter in everything… I, I share my school notes with you, I’ve gotten you out of trouble, I’ve let you in on my journey at Yale and you keep a secret from me?”

“I don’t owe you every bit of my life!” Sadie argued, “I love you, brother and I appreciate all you’ve done but for me to keep this one secret was my choice because it is my life! And I’m sorry it happened to be with your best friend, but that was an accident, too! Ben is—he’s been so amazing to me. I wanted to tell you today because I thought it was time and I don’t want it to be a secret anymore!”

Nathan took a deep breath, shaking his head up at the sky.

“Sadie, you’re misinterpreting my hurt,” Nathan spoke in a softer voice. “I’m happy you’re with a man like Ben—I know who he is. I’m hurt you didn’t trust me enough to tell me in the beginning, hurt you thought I wouldn’t be okay with it. I’m hurt you felt you had to lie these past few months…”

Sadie sighed, wiping tears from her eyes she didn’t notice had formed.

“It all just happened so suddenly. He—he also has been sharing his notes with me,” Sadie admitted. Nathan laughed ironically.

“I guess that’s why you stopped bothering me so much for my notes,” Nathan shook his head. Sadie couldn’t help but smile, too.

“I still read yours,” she admitted. Nathan, much calmer now, approached his sister and gave her a hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Sadie breathed.

“I’m sorry for my reaction,” Nathan apologized as well, pulling back from the hug. “Truthfully, I’m happy you’re in Ben’s hands. I’d trust him with my life. Of course, I will trust him with my beloved little sister.”

“So I’ve got your blessing? Your blessing is probably more important to me than Pa’s.”

Nathan laughed, “don’t tell Pa that. Yes, you have my blessing. Now let me talk to Tallmadge myself.”

☆☆☆☆

Sadie found Genny by the shore with Asher and Enoch. She took a deep breath and watched from a distance Ben and Nathan talk by the blanket.

Ben had his hands behind his back as he walked toward Nathan, feeling more guilty than ever. He knew Nathan would be upset—if the tables had been turned, Ben would surely feel hurt that his best friend kept a secret from him. But the damage was done, and Ben was ready to face the consequences.

Nathan stood with his arms crossed, waiting for Ben. Neither of them spoke as they stood across from each other.

“Look, Nathan,” Ben began, nervously stuttering. Nathan clapped his hand on Ben’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Nathan assured him, “I’m not mad. But, why did you want to keep it from me?”

“Well, she’s your sister,” Ben explained, “I felt as if it were inappropriate and it might ruin our friendship.”

Nathan smiled at Ben shaking his head. “Nothing could ruin our friendship, mate. And it’s not inappropriate as long as you treat my sister well.”

Ben looked at him shocked, as if he’d ever treat Sadie less than she deserved. “I cannot even fathom a thought like that,” Ben immediately defended. “Sadie is—she deserves the world.”

Nathan nodded his head, “I trust you with her. Dear God, does this mean she’ll be a Tallmadge one day?!” Nathan laughed.

Ben, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, chuckled too.

“If I’m lucky enough,” Ben replied, catching Sadie’s eyes.

☆☆☆☆

The ride back home was much less tense than the ride to the beach.

Gone were the days Sadie and Ben had to sneak smiles and catch glances. Gone were the days of lying and deceiving. With Nathan’s blessing, it made it all much easier for Sadie to sleep at night—and Ben as well.

What lay ahead was something new and a bit daunting; something unknown, but exciting. At least they knew they had each other to get through it, and they didn’t have to hide it anymore.

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