#Anyway protip: Don't do this

[solradguy]

Getting a PM from a rando asking me to commission them is so wild. I wonder how often that actually works lmao

#textpost #Had that happen over on Twitter this evening lol #Anyway protip: Don't do this #1. The client is now in a weird position where they have to come up with an idea for an illustration so right off the bat it's probably not #something they're even really entirely interested in seeing realized #2. Any person responding that far into what is essentially private message telemarketing is going to be the client from hell #3. Most people are going to automatically block the artist doing this and tell their friends about it & they'll likely do the same #It's spammy and weird

[knife-at-a-knife-fight]

hey so if you do something that you know actively causes harm to someone else (this includes choosing to not do anything when doing something is within your capabilities) you will have a very difficult time convincing me you aren't being an incredibly huge and selfish asshole.

knowingly causing someone preventable harm for absolutely no reason is a level of apathetic that i will never understand and definitely never respect.

#mine #protip: if you're going to get a mental illness; get one that isn't highly stigmatised #and definitely don't get a handful of highly stigmatised mental illnesses #such that you straight up don't talk to ANYONE about any of them #and resultantly suffer alone a lot of the time because no one would listen anyway #then don't surround yourself with people who wouldn't so much as notice if you were gone #let alone fight for you to stay #if you figure out what it feels like to be loved #please don't tell me #i don't think it would do me much good

[blujayonthewing]

this is so fucking depressing lmao

#this is an unedited thread nothing has been cut out and the 'I miss you all!' is the last post in the channel to date #went and checked and she pitched restarting this campaign last september and locked in that it would be a reboot almost exactly a year ago #it took me a long ass time to get my brain to do anything but I think I finally built Felix in november #WE HAVE PLAYED. ONE PREQUEL/ SETUP ONE-ON-ONE SESSION APIECE AND TWO SESSIONS TOGETHER. #our last session was in february :) the 'after the wedding' she's referencing was ours which was on june 5th :) #EARLY in this [gestures] there was a lot of... we just straight up wouldn't hear from Limerick's player and DM didn't feel comfy pushing her #and now we're in DM Ghosting Limbo #DO YOU SEE. WHY I'VE BEEN INSANE ABOUT HOW MUCH I LIKE FELIX. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AND IS ALSO A PROBLEM #[DUMPS HIM IN THE GARBAGE PILE OF OCS I'M DYING TO EXPLORE IN DEPTH THROUGH PLAY ALONG WITH AMBROSE AND NYSSA] #anyway I just keeping thinking about the 'I miss you all!' completely fucking unanswered except my sad little heart react #none of my other dnd has been running either for one reason and another #I'm just #[lays on the fucking floor] #don't dump all your 'social life' AND 'creative hobby' points in an exclusively group activity. protip #about me

[dark-overlord-of-rainbows]

Drawn Apr 26 - 28 2024 me when I am very normal about the media I like and definitely did not become autistic about this webcomic (/lying /lying /lying) uhhh anyway lemme talk about this art Image 1: we were absolutely robbed of Cameryn wearing that outfit in the snow kingdom lmao

Fletcher wanting nothing to do with these idiots as per usual~ his drawing has nothing to do with the Cameryn drawings to the left of him but I put him there specifically because it was funny to me

not me having a pose in mind and then neither fully drawing it nor fixing it with Lance there. Anyways Mikah. Does he even know??

~ Image 2: I did this one before the other one and I was actually going to draw those other things on the same image! however as it turns out clean colour takes me fucking forever and I decided I just wanted a seperate one for the rest

They can still fight or whatever (well, I don't actually know if they still will in-story), but I want to see Mikah and Hilda as best friends. They both have braids in their hair so it made me want to draw Mikah braiding Hilda's hair. I wonder if Lance ever braided his brother's hair…

Lance wears mostly cool colours (warm tones are more Poko's thing), but pinkish red colours and dark blueish green/teals are my favourite colours. By extension similar colour combinations are also my favourite, since they just so happen to also be complimentary. What I am saying is Lance would look good in reds and pinks and also I am extremely biased on that front

Hey protip you guys! did you know if you've got any clothes or piercings or anything you want but don't have? just give them to your favourite characters! it's completely free!

Nomads is by @captain-juuter ...Did you know if you search 'nomads webtoon' on here, tumblr lists me as the sole related blog?

#nomads #nomads webtoon #nomads webcomic #nomads fanart #webtoon #art #artwork #my art #artists on tumblr #drawing #my drawing #digital drawing #fanart #digital fanart #krita #digital art #digital artwork #lance nomads #lance feste #mikah nomads #mikah feste #fletcher nomads #fletcher walsh #hilda nomads #satra nomads #satra sky #cameryn nomads #nomads spoilers

[pancakeke]

Reminder that if you're in the US and buying N95 masks online, you need to check the CDC's list of NIOSH approved manufacturers and model numbers to confirm whether or not the masks you see are legitimate.

If you're in the EU then use this list of European Notified Bodies for PPE. If anyone has similar lists for other regions please add a link for me.

On top of that, check the manufacturer's official website for a list of authorized distributors or "where to buy" links to ensure that listings have a legitimate association with the manufacturer. There's a big market for fakes.

Amazon may have legitimate manufacturer listings for masks but they don't do anything to remove counterfeit products from their site. Many brick and mortar stores like Wal-Mart and Home Depot now integrate Amazon-style marketplaces into their websites, meaning they offer a lot of unregulated scam products along side their own merchandise. Protip: always check the "pickup today" or "pickup in store" availability to remove 3rd party trash from your search results.

If you already have masks but don't know where they came from, you can try to assess their legitimacy using this CDC PDF for the US or this PDF from the German IFA (standards apply to the EU).

Anyway, remember that if a deal seems too good to be true, it is.

**for the US this only applies to N95 masks**

**I'm not entirely sure what range of protection the EU standards cover and would really appreciate if someone could clarify**

#current events #covid

[eve-ate-the-right-fruit]

Listen, I've been there. I literally walked the streets of Salt Lake City with my girlfriend and thought "are we gonna get hatecrimed if we hold hands?"

But here's a protip from Mormonland: even a fervently homophobic Mormon will never say a word to your face about it. Not to a stranger anyway. Not in person.

You don't understand how deeply Being Nice is ingrained in our culture. Every Mormon who's served a mission has been trained to take any and all discomfort and abuse with a smile. They know about catching flies with honey, and you don't get converts by stirring up "the spirit of contention."

So you can be very openly gay around a homophobic Mormon, and they will smile. They will Be Nice.

Will they complain about you to another homophobe later? Will they vote to take your rights away? Will they write vile things on the internet? Will they do it all under the guise of "I love gay people! Really! I just have some Disagreements?" Probably. And it's shitty.

But you can use Being Nice. The homophobic Mormon will be an accomplice to many a Gay Thing if the alternative is no longer Being Nice. And maybe, somewhere under all the Evil Cult Brainwashing (🙄) the homophobic Mormon will start to rethink their homophobia.

Or you can just make them extremely uncomfortable as you trap them by societal convention. That's fun too.

#this is all to say #if you are gay and in the realspace proximity of a mormon #you are no more likely to get hatecrimed than by anyone else in this homophobic society #obvs don't be cavalier with your safety #but you can probably save yourself so.e anxiety #queerstake #the church of jesus christ of latter day saints

[scribbledghost]

Sorry I just need to get this out.

Using the guys as your taste testers for recipes 🥰 like. I’m Korean, so something I always thought was really cute was making kimchi with the family. Like the whole set up where we all sit around a kiddie pool and talk shit about whatever drama we’re watching while seasoning the cabbage.

Can you imagine? Living alone (possible neighbor Simon situation?) and totally still trying to keep up the tradition but it’s hard to make a few jars of kimchi (or idk cookies? We only have large batch recipe and I refuse to math out a smaller measurement 😂) alone and you end up asking Simon or his buddies to help with promises of free food.

Like. Feeding people is my love language. I just want to have get together a with them all and feed them while we criticize whatever trash tv show we end up watching.

Price is trying to keep us on track to finish within a reasonable time but Gaz, Soap, and you are arguing about the drama happening on tv.

Ghost is silently working on whatever Price hands him. He’s secretly enjoying this, don’t let his perma rbf fool you… Might sneak a few bites of food if no one is watching.

Soap is 100% sampling food, don’t even try to stop him and he’s roping Gaz into it as well.

Hand feeding is kinda normal/casual in my family, but I can imagine it would take the guys by surprise at first when you try to feed them something lol.

Flirting? No. Eat 😂

Making kimchi in a kiddie pool together means we’re family now ❤️

Note: I love this??? I love learning abt other peoples' traditions so much. An entire kiddie pool!?!? That's so much food!!! Tell me more!!! Is the Kiddie Pool Technique usually only used for kimchi or can you make other dishes like this too?? idk you don't have to answer any of that if you don't want to, I just love this idea so much

But yes, you're so so right that this is the perfect Neighbor!AU scenario. You tell Simon one day about the tradition, but note how hard it is to do all of it on your own. He offers to help, but you tell him that it'll still be difficult, even with two people.

"Unless you invite your friends, that is."

(Was this a carefully constructed ploy to get the rest of the team to visit? Maybe. Maybe not. You'll never tell.)

Anyway, once the promise of free food has been made, they're all showing up. All of 'em. No question. Price even shows up early to help you prep, along with Simon. He's good at delegating whatever tasks you tell him need to happen, and though he acts like you and the Sergeants are getting on his last nerve by how distracted you get with the TV, he's totally watching too. And he has many opinions about it. Go on, ask him. He'll tell you while trying desperately to pretend he hasn't been paying attention to the show.

Soap and Gaz are definitely completely engrossed in the television. They're still doing good work at whatever tasks they've been given, but they're also making constant comments about the characters/people on the screen (especially Gaz). Simon's just sort of quietly working away, listening in and definitely forming his own opinions about the show, but not offering anything verbally. Protip: Ask him about it later and he's giving you a full analysis.

Now, as for the sampling/eating... listen. I'll be honest with you. Simon's probably got a. Very limited palate. Like, "Beans on toast is culinary genius" limited. He's a working class boy from Manchester, England. Certain brands of ketchup are too spicy for him. (I am allowed to poke fun at him for this because I also suffer from Can't Handle Spice Disease). But!! If there is one thing he is, it's up for new experiences. So he's definitely gonna give it a try. Probably finds out he likes it more than he thought he would (make sure he has some water on hand though).

The rest though? They immediately try and dig in. Does not matter how much you scold them for it, does not matter how much you try to prevent it from happening. None of it works. Even Price once makes the mistake of chastising Soap and Gaz for sampling food while he, himself, has a mouthful. Soap especially cannot. Stop. Eating. It's a miracle if you actually have any kimchi left by the end.

Also LMAO at the idea of you feeding them by hand and them taking it the wrong way. Cause you know they will at first, Soap in particular (Simon and Price may not think much of it, but the other two definitely misconstrue the action as flirtatious). Just imagine you go to hand-feed Soap something and it's just like:

"Ah, flirtin' wi' me in front'a the whole gang, hen?"

"...What? No?? This is what family does. Now eat."

Overall, all of them have a blast. Every so often, one of them will ask Simon when you can all get together and do it again.

#simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #john price #ghost scribbles

[chalkrevelations]

So, a whole complex of things I noticed in Ep 1 of Kiseki: Dear To Me:

First of all, the mental calculus Bai Zongyi does when he overhears his boss talking about the one-night stand who cleaned him out is HILARIOUS. He goes tearing back home, and I'm like, my guy. Even in your financial straits, why wouldn't you be willing to lose your rice cooker to get rid of the gangster blackmailing you into letting him hole up in your apartment living his best stay-at-home girlfriend life? If you get back home and your rice cooker is gone, but the actualfax criminal who took over your bed by repeatedly threatening to report you on ginned-up aggravated assault (if not murder) charges is also gone, is this not a net gain? I feel that many people would come to a different conclusion on that calculation than you did. Perhaps you do need help with math. (Protip: Your erstwhile math tutor is not unbiased.)

ANYWAY.

I think it's interesting and maybe telling that one of the things Zongyi overhears his boss saying is that "a greedy person steals everything." Because there's a few things going on here that relate to Fan Zherui, including the fact that he keeps insisting he's going to pay everything back double - triple, even! - even as he whines his way into getting Zongyi to bring home more and more stuff for him, too many treats for his "little tummy" supposedly to handle. (I see what you did there, A-Rui. I am not as dumb as a 17-year-old boy - usually at least - and you are not as slick as you'd like to think you are.) Additionally, Zherui tells Zongyi more than once that there's nothing worth stealing in his ratty little apartment, so apparently he has some standards, instead of just being greedy for whatever he can get his hands on.

BUT.

But when Zongyi gets home to find Zherui unlocked and still lounging around on his front balcony like a stray cat that's been fed, we discover that Zherui has taken something from Zongyi behind his back. Zongyi has very deliberately not told Zherui his name, including in a previous scene when Zherui explicitly asked for it. So at some point, Zherui has gone through Zongyi's stuff and discovered his name - and who knows what else about him. He's taken the identity that Zongyi wanted to keep from him, which is like a kind of theft.

How interesting, that nothing else in that little apartment is worth as much as Zherui's shoes, nothing else is worth taking, but Zongyi's name - his identity, his self - is. How interesting, that Zongyi is what Zherui sees value in, already, enough to be worth trying to steal for himself, figuratively, if not literally, at this point.

HOWEVER.

Almost immediately, Zherui tries to "pay back" Zongyi for what he's taken by offering his own name (which Zongyi has never asked for). It comes out as a kind of formal declaration "I, Fan Zherui, will ..." I don't know, something or other, whatever he says he's gonna do that is already out of my head because it's not as important as the fact that he felt he had to repay Zongyi by offering his own name in return for what he took. This is really, really noticeable, because while it's a good way for us, as the audience, to learn his name, it's not necessary, because Ai Di and Chen Yi have already talked to and about him, using his name, earlier in the episode.

That declaration of his name isn't there for the audience. It's solely for Zongyi.

If it's an exchange, it's not stealing, right?

How interesting, that Zherui wants Zongyi to have his name - his identity, his self - wants Zongyi to have him, that Zherui offers himself like this, even this early on.

Here I am. Take me. Keep me.

#bai zongyi #fan zherui #baifan #I'M READY #kiseki: dear to me

[scratchedagain]

Decided to quilt myself a shrug out of some fabric quarters I bought and then didn't use.

I do everything by hand, and am fairly pleased with how my consistent my stitches have gotten. Not the tightest in the world at 8-9 stitches per inch, but I'm happy!

Protip for anyone who sews: Don't stick the needle into the fabric that is almost the same color. Look at this foolishness:

I found that needle when I jabbed myself with it.

Anyway, finished shrug:

#quilt #hand quilting #my quilting #shrug #quilted shrug #who needs patterns and colors that complement each other #that would be silly

[gepperl]

TRANS MALE PASSING PROTIPS

Targeted specifically at trans men who have not begun medical transition, but for anyone. Of course, this is just what works for me and everyone is different.

Shorts that fall mid thigh and are baggy can work really well to make a more masculine figure. This is a trendy style with cis men, and if they are looser on your thighs you can look more rectangular. Basketball shorts are always fine, but for bigger people can end up sticking to your thighs and making you look like a masc lesbian. Looking like a masc lesbian is so so common guys this is what we are trying to avoid. See here for reference

2. WALK WITH YOUR SHOULDERS. Walk like your shoulders are the widest part of your body. Move them kinda forward and backward. Watch a video of a man walking next to a woman for context on what I mean. Women walk with their hips, and it makes all the difference for you in someone's head. Practice in the mirror before doing it so you don't look like a fool.

3. Hair!!!! I know you guys don't want to let go of the 2020 fluffy boi haircut and that is ok. If you don't want a skin fade short haircut, there are other options. Also, if you belong to a subculture, like punk/emo/whatever else there is, look at male styles as it can be very different than what is normally accepted ( for example, men have long hair in metal subculture, you can style it like them). In general, hair is very meticulous, as for some people too short is masc lesbian and too long is woman.

This kind of hair can do wonders. For men of color/curly hair people, if you are not out locs are a very good option as they are typically read as masculine but are gender neutral. Afros, braids, even skin fades with a lot of hair at the top can read feminine. Another style option could be short cornrows that end at the neck, twists, or a fade with less hair at the top like this.

I am not black, so I cannot speak for how this would be read in a black community, but this is how, from my experience, I would view the hairstyles. Sorry if this is not appropriate. Also, I am not here to tell you not to dye your hair. It can work if you style it with masculine clothes and are dressed in a specific style like emo or scene or something. Do what you will with that.

4. If there is ANY peach fuzz on your face, make the most of it. I know I have high testosterone levels naturally, so I grow facial hair a little, but if there is enough to dye it, dye it. If there is like barely any, if its not visible in the mirror if you're really looking (not INSPECTING), it's probably not worth it, and that is fine. use your judgement, and if it is not enough, just shave it. It's better to look clean shaven than desperate for face hair. Eyebrows, mustache hair, sideburns can all be darkened with eyeshadow, brow brushes, and just for men beard dye.

5. LAYERS. I know you guys have seen this one before. Flannels, button ups over black t-shirts, zip up hoodies. It might get a little hot, but it covers your sweat stains anyways. I promise guys it helps so much with shoulders, hips, boobs, it makes you look more masculine. Don't get that ugly ass red and black checkered one though. Think if you would see a masc lesbian wearing it and use your best judgement. I heart layers.

6. Pants. Woah. Pants. I HATE pants I know you fat trans men get me. Old navy women's jeans...and you guys won't like this one...are actually pretty good. SPECIFICALLY the sky high wide leg ones. Get those a size up and cuff them, wear them low on your waist, perfect. Other than that, jeans are shit. I don't really waste my time with men's pants anymore because of my hips but cargos are great, baggy sweats with the band at the bottom are great, PJ pants good, dress pants are a struggle but I've heard dickies work well for people with a smaller body. Not sure though. My tactic is I go to a thrift store for hours and try on all their pants, then find similar ones online or take pictures of the brand for the ones I like and find more.

7. Accessories and jewelry. Iffy. Anything you could describe as dainty, if it's not a family thing or important to you, probably not. Friendship bracelets are good, pendants are good, earrings depends on where you are and what you are wearing. Studs in men are common where I am, so I wear them. Observe the cis men at your disposal. Accessories, bags don't really matter unless they're like the strawberry hot topic mini bags. Don't get those at all those are fugly. Mini bags are not great in general, just better to get something else. Watches are heavily loved here they look very male and also you have the time always even a cheap watch is fine just not a woman's watch. It has to be a men's watch. You can tell when it is a woman's watch don't get those. Nail polish is fine no one cares, it's more popular now with boys. Especially if you're a little girly pop already. Of course that also depends on your environment.

8. Stance. Sitting with your ankle on your knee is comfortable and way more masculine than crossing your legs. Confidence. Fake it until you make it because cis men are so arrogant guys. This is what I mean btw

9. Don't be afraid of being feminine. Don't give up being yourself in order to be masculine. Your happiness matters the most. Love you bye, I'll update this if I think of anything else.

#transgender #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbtqia #trans rights #queer #ftm #passing #body positive #transisbeautiful #gender stuff #trans stuff #gender identity

[callsign-bunnie]

hey chef do you have any tips or trick to help overcome writers block???? or are u just a writing machine??? im an aspiring writer in college getting my ass whooped by writers block

Uhhhh, so I just don't let myself have writer's block?

*cracks knuckles*

Alright, look, as you guys have seen, I can write a LOT. And I delude myself into thinking it's fairly decent writing. My main trick is having so many projects that if I get tired or bored with one, I just switch.

I don't know what project you're doing, but I'm going to assume it's a book or something similar. My main tip? Just fucking write it. It doesn't need to be good, it doesn't need to be structured, it just needs to be words. You can always rewrite it, but you can't rewrite an empty page.

Even if you're writing down wattpad style bullshit, like I'm talking just pure crap, write it down, anyway. I've written and rewritten so many chapters before because I could feel writer's block coming.

I also have about three fics that I write that I have not released. One of them, I have no plans to. I use them to just have something I can write whatever I want for when I'm dealing with writer's block that are just my most fun fics.

Obviously, however, none of this works if you don't have an idea of what you want to write. So, there's two methods that I've found personal success with.

The first is to lay awake at night and obsess over-

I'm jk. I do that, it's successful, but it's not healthy and/or recommended. However, I do think for quite a while and write down every single detail that I can think of for a scene and just follow the structure. I do this in bullet points, and in fact have a google docs for it

This isn't the best example but my best examples haven't been released yet, so...

I don't have an example of the second, because I use that for my real books, but I've found that if you have dialogue in mind, write all of that down, and fill in the blanks with action later.

I also have friends who I regularly discuss scenes with, which helps me brainstorm. My friends, whom I adore, also will ask questions. This really helps because it points out plotholes and things I wasn't thinking about, it also helps me extend a scene.

End of the day, don't take advice from me, I literally just force myself to write and tell myself I'm letting everyone down if I don't! It's not a protip, it's a fear of disappointing people.

#bunnie speaks #writing #fanfiction writer #writing tips

[dzamie]

protip: don't do this

(ID in alt)

The correct response to "hey, I don't want minors around my personal collection of stuff I jack off to" is, at worst, "how about when I turn 18" and ideally a simple "gotcha, sorry for the misunderstanding." It is NOT, under any circumstances, "you are incorrect about the nature of your sexual fetish. There will now be a minor perusing your porn collection."

And look. I'm not gonna pretend minors aren't "allowed" to like vore - hell, I'm pretty sure I wrote my first vorefic at 16, and was getting off to vore way back in middle school. But, fuck, I at least knew better than to let people know that a minor was in the porn section. Don't interact, and if for some reason you feel you really want to, at least have the common decency to lie about it!

I'm past caring if minors follow other vore blogs; I ain't their guardian, they ain't my responsibility.

Also, even if you could convince me that "sfw kink" is anything but an oxymoron (spoiler alert: you can't), @hungry-blue-dragon still has 2 posts with visibly erect penises and 1 talking about cockvore within the 15 most recent posts. My vore blog is not a 16+ space. Give yourself a couple years.

Anyway, this is all a settled matter: I remembered how to block someone from a sideblog, so the person who I sent that ask to is now unable to follow my vore blog.

#text #image #image id #tumblr #rawrs #vore related

[valerieofavonlea]

No one asked for my opinion, but here it is anyway.

Here's how I would improve the cosmere/Brandon Sanderson subs on reddit, in no particular order:

1. Pinned FAQ and reading order posts, and crack down on other reading order posts, including "what should I read next" and asking for non Brandon recs. Keep it all in one thread

2. Have daily/weekly mega threads for simple posts and questions. I'd do two, one for questions and one as more of a "what are you reading right now?" thread where newbies can post simple reactions, rereaders can post simple observations, and we can see what other books sanderfans are enjoying. These threads can be moderated for spoilers

3. Stop using all the post flairs for spoiler policing. We need content category flairs like: question, review, theory, fanart, events, discussion, wob, etc etc. the subs are a pain to search through for specific content and this would help a ton

4. On that note, stop being so anal about spoilers period. You're completely stifling any real discussion, and alienating established fans. People who haven't read the books or aren't caught up and who care about spoilers can take some responsibility for themselves. Post titles also suck because of spoiler policies and I can barely tell what anything is about without clicking on the actual post. Also protip: flairs don't work on the reddit home page

5. Require that individual posts have some kind of real effort put behind them

6. Cross post a few of the best memes from r/cremposting every week. It'll be fun

7. Prepare event thread ahead of time. The mega threads for the WoR leatherbound campaign should have gone up the day before to consolidate discussion and questions, and it should be edited as more information becomes available so everyone has one place to look for info

8. Lead community posts, fun discussions, games, etc. And you can also lead community reads/rereads

9. Actually moderate? There was a discussion today with some criticism of the mods as far as how discourse and rudeness and general jerk behavior is handled, and the mod response was this:

Like, you don't have to step into every single conversation, but at least pay attention to the subs you manage? Stop letting the sub users do all of your work for you and maybe try to help de-escalate when you can see that a discussion is getting heated?

10. Hold more than one opinion poll a year. The fandom is growing at a crazy pace and keeping a closer eye on things would be beneficial. Also one a year is easy to miss

#don't mind me I'm just venting #need to take a break from reddit tbh #i want to talk about cosmere stuff but it's so difficult #sam says stuff #some of these are wholly my own thoughts and some are what I've seen work really well in other subs

[iavenjqasdf]

🖨clones🔨

my fucking cloning machine is defective; it keeps making "me"s, and i fucking hate that guy.

i'll just be minding my own business, going about my day, when i hear a ZAP! from the other room, and i sigh, cause i know that means i have to drop everything im doing and go subdue another fully-grown newborn me. For some reason they're always born terrified and trying to kill themselves as quickly as possible, and i cant just let them go out into the world and make a mess and ruin my good name, so i developed a system; i knock it out with my favorite heavy shovel, and then i drag its sleepy body out of the closet it was born in and down to the basement while it's unconscious, listening to the thonk thonk thonk as it hits its head on each step on the way down, and i leave it down there in the dark, next to all its clone buddies.

(protip if you find yourself in a similar situation: invest in a good shovel as soon as you can. you don't want something flimsy that'll break in the middle of a pacification. i had to strangle one with my bare hands before i learned that lesson. not fun!)

i usually do a pretty good job keeping them contained where i don't have to think about them, but sometimes they start screaming or crying or whatever, loud enough that i can hear them even through the doors and hallways between us, so i have to turn on the gas down there, until eventually they quiet down and go to sleep. sometimes they die, but i just leave the corpses down there nowadays, cause sometimes they come back to life, and hauling a carcass up the basement steps and through the house and into the backyard is a whole thing and if it's gonna claw its way out of the ground again anyway i might as well save myself the trouble. the living ones cry about the smell sometimes but i don't let the haters get to me.

i don't know what they get up to down there; i only ever open the door when i have to toss another guy in there, and obviously i have to gas them first to make sure they don't try to mob up on me and escape, so i only ever see them unconscious. there's shit smeared on the walls and weird symbols that i guess they carve into each other using their grotesquely overgrown fingernails, but being a full time caretaker is enough of a hassle without also having to put in the effort to understand what the fuck they're trying to communicate.

i tried turning the machine off and on again, then just leaving it off permanently, then straight up unplugging it, but nothing really seems to work. i can leave it in the most pristine perfect unpowered condition and think im finally safe and then one day ZAP! it's made another guy, and i have to go through the whole fuckin routine all over. really takes a toll on a guy, having to bludgeon something with your own face and voice unconscious before you even finish your morning coffee.

i also tried breaking it, but that just made the clones start coming out broken, too. if you thought they were annoying in vanilla form, just wait till you get one with half its skull concave, or with limbs growing out of the wrong places. i don't get cognitohazard pay for having to see and subdue those abominations. so i don't fuck with the machine anymore, because with my luck, i'll just end up making things even worse if i try to fix them again.

mostly i just wish i had some help, but i haven't been able to find any so far. it's kinda hard to make friends or get second dates when you're constantly exhausted from pacifying a basement full of retarded suicidal clones of yourself. recruiting from within doesn't work, either; i can't bribe them, because the only thing they want is to die, and i can't threaten them, because they'll start just begging for whatever punishment i think of and that weirds me out.

it's reached a sort of shitty equilibrium, where the machine spits em out at pretty much the perfect rate to maintain a stable population. whenever one of them dies, the others will eat the corpse, which is cool cause then i don't have to worry about that one coming back, but it also means the rest all get fed and continue living.

i know what you're thinking; yes, i've already tried forcing a conscious one to eat all the unconscious ones at gunpoint once. it just grabbed the gun out of my hand and shot itself through the skull, and then came back a week later anyway. ungrateful bastard.

it's starting to smell pretty bad all the time down there, too. all their waste products piling up, i bet. i wish i could just leave the gas on all the time so i wouldn't have to worry about it, but eventually it starts leaking through the cracks in the basement and filling my parts of the house, too. i guess i could just pack up, turn the gas on, and leave, but the bill will eventually come due, and if they shut it off then even bigger complications will emerge.

besides, a house this big, for this cheap, in this neighborhood? i can't afford to NOT be doing this. i just wish i had someone to share it with, besides myselves.

ao3

#📝 #guro #original fiction #standalone

[qqueenofhades]

Do you have advice for developing a thicker skin? Not for online shanangans but in real life?

Welp. I feel this hard and trust me, it sucks, as I am (also?) a terminally overthinking autistic person whose brain often likes to run highlight reels of everything I have ever done wrong in my entire life. (Not quite as often as before, but still.) Part of it is just getting more life experience, so things that are quite literally the worst thing that has ever happened to you now have some perspective/comparison, and part of it is developing healthier thought habits and not falling into the "I'm crap and terrible and awful and I deserve this" doom loop. Which can be hard, and it might take other treatments for mental health (i.e. I've now been on medication for three years and I'm only now starting to feel that it has in fact significantly improved/rewired my brain chemicals), but it can be done.

It absolutely, 100%, no-questions-asked sucks when you're rejected, when you make a mistake, when you hurt someone, when you are otherwise subject to backlash, and it can feel like the end of the world. It's okay to feel bad, but don't let yourself wallow in it forever. If it's possible, you can reach out to the person concerned and ask to have a conversation; you can do your best to understand either what you did wrong or that it wasn't about you directly, or otherwise do your best to react in a mature and healthy way. We all make mistakes, we all suck at things, we all misread and/or inadvertently hurt people, and the only thing you can do is take a deep breath, feel what you need to feel, and try to understand what happened and try to avoid doing it again. It's part of the whole Being Human thing, and yeah, it's just a constant learning process and being as self-aware (but also as easy on yourself) as you can. Protip, if you wouldn't leap right down a friend's throat for doing what you did, or if you would be upset if what happened to them happened to you, react how you would in that situation. You don't need to either tear yourself apart or insist that it's nothing and you're just being stupid for feeling upset. Feelings are hard! Either way, just try to do better next time, or process whatever shitty situation is at hand as much as you can, and do your best to move on.

Anyway, in short: good luck and do your best. Have a good day, m'dear. Rooting for you.

#anonymous #ask

[nerves-nebula]

oh dude. the fucking BUGS. i have a legit phobia of fleas bc we were literally being eaten alive! protip: lemon juice on your legs doesnt do much to repel them, google lied!

i have been scared of shower ants since i was a wee lad thank u for the validation bc my whole family thinks im crazy for refusing to let the water touch me until it's run clear and HOT for a solid minute

also sorry if im like. trauma dumping? too much?? exchange of similar information and experiences is kinda just how i talk but i can absolutely shut up :p im not used to someone having such similar experiences! yknow?

(i am surrounded by normal-childhood-having FREAKS irl /lh)

-stitch

exchange of similar information and experiences is kinda just how i talk

nah same, i don't mind it at all. half of my responses are just "damn that kinda reminds me of this one thing that happened to me. wild"

but yea i used to bundle up in thick blankets wrapped almost entirely around my body as a child, in the MIDDLE of summer, because i didn't want the ants on me when i slept :') didn't stop me from waking up with dry ass lips and a dry ass nose, picking my nose, and finding a dead ant trapped in the boogers there.

i had (and still sort of do have to a lesser degree) a huge fear of ants and other insects ENTERING MY ORIFICES so that was a terrible day for me.

anyway i gotta force myself back to homework now so, cya later alligator

#nnstuff #ask #bugs #asks are sweethearts