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#Can you tell I went to another successful therapy session?
gxlden-angels · 2 years
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When leaving christianity, it is very important to sort through it. I struggle with holding myself to a christian standard but with secular goals. Some feel the need to lash out and "sin" but you gotta sort thru why you feel like that action is a sin.
Cussing is a christian sin. Drinking and smoking is a christian sin. Even having chronic anxiety is a christian sin. None of these are actually automatically moral strikes against you. Most humans don't care. People live on a plane of neutrality. You can simply live. There is no counter ticking up and down with each choice you make. There is no scale weighed against you. You do not have to be perfect. You don't even have to be good. You can just exist in the gray space that is our existence.
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gurugirl · 10 months
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A Balancing Act | Ch. 3*
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Series Summary: Harry is a famous, rich, handsome, pop star and he’s been in therapy since his boy band days. When he meets Y/n, a beautiful and successful artist, he cannot take no for an answer when it comes to her. He’s determined to make her his even if he has to bend the rules a little at first.
Chapter Summary: Y/n has some explaining to do and Harry wants to show her exactly what he likes.
Warning: 18+ only, NSFW, smut, dom & sub dynamics (with use of implements), angst (light), mentions of death.
Word Count: 12,003
Commissioned by @cinnamonone (thank you!! xoxo)
A Balancing Act Masterlist
“She was married,” Harry started off their session before Pat even had a chance to sit in her usual spot.
“Who? Y/n?”
Harry nodded and sighed, “Yeah. She never told me. She’s not married now. Well, he died actually. Health condition. But I was… I just didn’t expect it. I mean…” he shook his head and crossed a leg over his knee, “I was surprised. Like… it’s a lot. You know? And it’s selfish of me to think this way but how can I be better than someone she loved enough to marry? And now he’s just gone and it’s not because he did anything wrong. She still loves him. It’s been a few years since he passed but she has this big wedding photo framed in her living room. That’s how I found out.”
Pat listened closely as Harry talked about how it made him feel. He’d gotten very good at being able to describe his feelings and was comfortable enough to verbalize them to Pat.
“So when you saw the photo what happened? I’m assuming you were at her home? You said it was in her living room.”
Harry looked up at Pat, “Oh yeah. I uh… went to visit her. We kind of had a rough go. She did find out about the girl I kissed so I flew out to see her. She was on a date and I… well I went to where they were and saw them and then-“
“Harry Styles! You did not!” Pat lambasted.
Harry gulped as he nodded, “I know. It was a questionable move. Quite immature of me, but she knows that it’s us. There’s no one else that she can connect with this way. She wound up leaving with me anyway so-“
“I’m gonna interrupt you again because I’m shocked! That is kind of the opposite of how you should have gone about seeing her again, Harry. Are you two still seeing one another? Talking?”
“Yeah, we are. She wound up telling me she liked me more anyway. It worked out. I know I shouldn’t have done it that way but it’s already done.”
“And here I thought you wanted to talk about how she’d kept a big secret from you. How you were hurt by it and how it made you feel. But having you go and intercept her during a date? She should have told you off, had you go back home. And you’re right. That was very immature. Feels like a step backward from all the work you’ve put in. You’re really good at making things happen and getting what you want,” she emphasized as Harry sighed and shook his head, “but sometimes it’s not healthy. What you did was very coercive. You can’t force your will on everyone, Harry.”
“I know. I told you I’m selfish. I don’t know why I did it. I just feel like she and I are really good for each other. I needed to make a move. Do something dramatic to prove it to her. Especially after she learned about the kiss.”
“And how did she take that news when you told her?”
Harry pulled his lips into his mouth and looked down at his hands.
“You were the one to bring her the information, correct?”
He shook his head, “She saw it in some gossip article.”
“And she still welcomed you and even left her date for you? Maybe you should have her come see me too. Sounds like you both could use some emotional support and therapy.”
Harry grinned and gave Pat his sweet puppy dog eyes, “Maybe. Perhaps I can convince her to move in with me and you can see us both.”
“Okay. I think you’re moving too fast here.”
“I don’t. I’ve never felt this way before, Pat! I know it’s insane but I’m not kidding you when I tell you that she’s really good for me. I’m good for her too. Like… I’d marry her tomorrow if I could. I’m so down to just be with her.”
The therapist nodded, “So, you’re not actually bothered by the fact that she has a dead husband?”
Harry put his leg down and leaned back into his chair, “No. I am upset. Not at her because I understand why she didn’t tell me. It doesn’t make me not want to be with her. It’s just something to contend with is all. It was a shock.”
“I bet. So you really feel very deeply for her then? And she feels the same?”
“I think she does. Asked her to be my girlfriend before I left Chicago too. I know it’s fast but she’s incredible.”
“Girlfriend, huh? That’s kind of a big step.”
“I know. I’m just… I think I love her. I can’t get enough of her. I’ve never felt like this.”
“I feel like you’ve fed me those same lines before.”
Harry shook his head and looked up at Pat, “No. I swear. This time is different. I know I can’t convince you of that but it is. I love to fall in love but with Y/n it’s like life. A gift.”
Pat sighed and put her notebook down. She could see that Harry was very excited about Y/n. That he did what he thought he needed to. And while she was used to his occasional antics of forcing his hand to get his way and the way he fell in love too fast; she could see that this was indeed a little different. Even with months apart he still went after her. He still seemed to be just as excited about her.
“I see that. I’m happy for you, Harry. So what are your plans with her for when you leave for Europe in two weeks? You’ll be gone for nearly two months again. How do you intend to maintain the relationship when you’re going to be apart for so long?”
.        .        .
One week earlier
Her heart dropped when she realized what he was looking at. She hadn’t planned on telling him this way. She had planned on telling him at some point. But it was always a strange thing to bring up to people who didn’t already know about her past.
Robert was a great guy. She met him in college when she was dating around. They had a few dates but then broke up and they both dated other people but remained friends for a couple of years. Until one day he told her he didn’t like her seeing other people. That it made him jealous. She hadn’t realized.
And she hadn’t really been jealous when he was going on dates with other women. But the notion that there was a man, who was her friend, that was jealous of her going on dates, wanted her, felt this way about her… well it was quite flattering and unexpected. And the rest is history.
They got married and bought the house she currently lived in. He was a high school teacher. A genuinely nice man. A bit of a homebody at times, but she loved him with all of her heart. After they’d been married for a year he was diagnosed with having Wilson’s Disease. He was born with it (which no one knew) but only ever started showing symptoms at age 25. And by then it was too late. He was already having some major health issues. His liver was failing.
Y/N knew something was wrong when he was slurring his speech badly one evening and they had only been drinking water. And then the following day he was still slurring and he called off work because he was too tired to get out of bed. So she booked a doctor’s appointment for him and after nearly a month of running tests, one doctor suggested a urine sample, and the labs came back the following day with high levels of copper. Which indicated cirrhosis of the liver, which then pointed to Wilson’s disease.
And only six months after his diagnosis, he was gone.
She and Harry sat on her couch and she told him everything. Harry was stunned. He didn’t even know she’d been married before. But to know her husband had died? And she did admit that she still loved him. But of course, she did. Harry didn’t know how he could compete with such a thing.
“Well… I guess that kind of killed the mood. Didn’t it?” She looked at Harry who had been pretty quiet throughout her confession.
“It’s just sobering,” he looked at her as he spoke, “but, maybe we could order something in to eat? Some wine? Talk some more?”
“Harry, you don’t have to sit here and listen to me talk about my dead husband. If you want to go you can. It’s okay. Really.”
Harry scrunched his brows together and pulled her hands into his, “That’s not… Do you still want me here?”
“Well, yeah. I mean I’ve come to terms with all of this already. I just know when I talk about it to people who don’t already know they always pity me and it changes everything. So, I’m just giving you an out.”
Harry cleared his throat and slowly dragged his thumbs over her knuckles, “I don’t want an out. I want to spend time with you. Maybe we can eat, though. Kind of let this idea settle a bit and then drink some wine and put a movie on. See where the night takes us.”
And so that’s just what they did. Y/n hadn’t eaten anything because she had left the restaurant with Harry before dinner was served. And Harry hadn’t eaten either. So it was actually a perfect idea.
They talked more. Harry was practically glued to her side. Holding her hand, keeping her glass of wine filled, watching her closely, brushing his fingers down her arms. They watched a movie and Harry pulled her into his chest as they lay together on her couch.
But after about thirty minutes of having Harry’s chest pressed into her back, she felt something hard and stiff tucked into her bottom. She hadn’t taken off the dress she wore on her date and Harry wasn’t watching the movie at all. He was looking down over her pretty profile, her hips, her bum…
When she felt his lips graze over the back of her ear she realized he wasn’t actually totally turned off about hearing of her past. In fact, he was very clearly aroused. Closing her eyes she let him gently press kisses down her neck and allowed him to pull her into him tighter, grinding his hips into her plush bottom and she was relieved he still wanted her at all.
At first, she thought that he was just being sweet. Because he was a sweet guy. Maybe he felt bad for her and didn’t want to make her feel bad so he stayed. But now? Well, she was quite excited by his sudden change in demeanor back to what it had been before they’d walked into her house.
Harry’s hand smoothed down her hip to her thigh and stopped at the hem of her dress before he began pushing the material upward, “Is this okay?” He whispered against her skin.
Y/n nodded and put her hand over his, assisting him in pushing her dress up, “Yes.”
That was all he needed to have them both return to the state they’d been in before he saw the framed photo of her on her wedding day.
“Good. Then let’s turn this terrible movie off and get you naked.”
She remembered him telling her he’d brought some things. But what his small suitcase revealed was not expected, a vibrating wand, black bondage tape, 2 sets of cuffs, and various sizes of clamps. And a bottle of lube.
Harry explained everything to her as he kissed her gently and removed her clothes, “We don’t have to use any of this. But I thought it would be fun to try. I think you’ll like some of these. Have you ever been tied up?”
Y/n shook her head as she ran her fingers over the smooth tape, “No. How does this work?”
He plucked the roll from her hand and began to unwind the tape as he spoke, “This won’t stick to your skin, it only sticks to itself. But it’ll work nicely to bind you. It’s not as harsh as rope and it’s easy to come off.”
When he pulled the wand out of the little cloth bag it was in he handed it to her, “Lie flat and put this over yourself. Place it where it feels the best and whatever setting you like the most.”
Harry was slowly getting into his dom mode and Y/n could see it. He started off gently and slowly. Lots of kissing, touching, talking… he had her feeling comfortable and she trusted him. The way he slowly kissed her arms and her tits, lowering his wet lips to the heavy underside of her breasts and squeezing her nipples as he dipped over her tummy and praised her, “Fucking gorgeous. Hard to believe I got so lucky.”
But when he told her to lie flat on the bed something had shifted into a different gear. It was a minute transition but it was noticeable. He unwound the tape as he watched her do as she was told.
She was completely naked while he was still dressed, which made her feel very vulnerable, exposed. She clicked the wand on to its low setting and placed the head in a spot she knew she’d like. It did feel good. She was already a bit wet from the kissing and the gentle touches but it didn’t take long for her to begin seeping and coating the vibrating silicone bulb that was pressed against her.
Harry kneed up to the bed and pushed her thighs further apart so he could see her better, “Because you’re new to this you probably don’t have any kind of safe word in mind yet. So if you don’t like anything, just tell me. Say stop and I will. If you like all this we can think of something to use in lieu of just stop. But for now, we’re not going to get too much into that kind of roleplay so no or stop will work.”
He wanted to show her the things he liked. These were all easy introductions into the way he liked to play and if they were going to be seeing one another more he felt it was good to start her out like this. Give her a slow, soft launch so she could explore the things she liked too. He’d move it up a notch later on. For now, the debut into dom and sub-dynamics would be very delicate because she had never played this way. Eventually, they’d both learn what she liked together, that is if she wanted to stick around.
She nodded and Harry leaned over her and took the wand from her hand, “Arms over your head,” she quickly moved her arms upward as he positioned the wand against her clit and used the bondage tape to secure it in place, wrapping the tape around the handle to the top of her thigh and keeping the vibrating bulb at her pussy to give her just enough stimulation.
He climbed up and pushed her over to her tummy, the wand still working its magic, and pulled her hands behind her back, “I’m going to bind your wrists together like this,” he showed her the position and paused to make sure she didn’t have any objections, “and then,” he pushed her legs up by their shins, her ankles and feet up, thighs down, “use the tape to bind your ankles too. Is this okay with you?”
She nodded, “Yes.”
“Ah ah ah… Yes who?” He chided.
She bit her lip and smiled, “Yes, Daddy.”
Harry gave her a swat to her bottom, “There you go. I’ll give you one pass. If you forget to address me properly again we’ll take a break while I spank your bottom red.”
Her bottom stung from the one swat and she nodded, mostly to herself as he explained the rules. She couldn’t see the work he was doing because he was behind her but she could feel his hands on her skin and smooth tape wrapping around and between her wrists. It was gentle and he was right. The tape wasn’t sticky on her skin so it wasn’t pulling the fine hairs she had on her arms, which she was thankful for.
Then he used the tape on her ankles, securing them together in much the same way he did her wrists, around and in between. Meanwhile, the wand was still vibrating against her pussy and causing her heart to race. She didn’t know what to expect but this was quite exhilarating. Exciting. Harry was exciting.
“So pretty. Goddamn,” he said as he let his hands roam over her thighs and her bottom. He dug his fingers into the soft flesh and then smoothed his hands up to her low back before he moved his warm lips to the small of her back. She felt his hair ghost along her spine as he kissed his way up to her neck.
“How do you feel?” Harry’s voice was strained as he spoke.
“I’m good. Feels really good so far.” And it did. She wasn’t just saying it to appease him either. She loved this more than she could understand. It wasn’t like anything she’d ever delved into before. She hadn’t realized the way it would make her feel. She was a little nervous about her body on display for him in this way. She was chubby and this was quite the compromising position to be in when Harry Styles, with his very fit body, was in the room and inspecting all of her nooks and crannies. But there was something about being exposed to him this way, unable to move from being tied up, totally naked with all her parts available to him to see and touch that sent her adrenaline to spike.
She felt him push her ankles flat to the bed and then pull her up at her hips, causing her knees to dig into the mattress until her body was upright with her back into his chest. He stayed behind her bringing his hands up to her breasts and began palming over each, “How sensitive are your breasts? Do you play with them when you masturbate?”
Her brain was having a hard time focusing with the way he was touching her and speaking but she swallowed and closed her eyes to answer, “Uh… I think they’re pretty sensitive. Sometimes I squeeze them to make my nipples hard, but not all the time.”
Boobs weren’t really much of a part of sex for her. When Robert was alive he enjoyed them a lot. But to her, she could take it but mostly would have preferred to leave it. Because her nipples were quite sensitive and sometimes the stimulation was too much. So she generally would gently brush over her bud and work them up to get hard as she looked in the mirror. If she felt like playing with them. Which she usually didn’t.
“Let’s see what you like. Okay?” He continued squeezing and massaging the flesh, his thumbs focusing on her nipples, his lips on her neck causing her to keen and pitch her head to the side.
“Your nipples need some attention, Y/n. I can tell you’re very tender here,” he lightly pinched each nipple and she gasped, “See? We’ll take it easy. Work you up to something a little more stimulating.”
The sensation of the slow squeezing and soft pinches at her nipples was leveled out by the way he kissed at her neck and sucked her skin into his mouth, nipping very gently. Not to mention the vibrator taped into place and pressed to her pussy. Now, the way it was attached it wasn’t over her clit (thankfully she figured) but it was pulsating an inch below the spot that would have her losing it. The vibrations were strong enough that her whole core was feeling it, though, and she imagined it had been placed purposely in just that spot with the intent that she would slowly lose her mind until she was begging and aching for more.
So, yeah, everything he was doing was feeling really good. Having her nipples toyed with was even nice. The varying sensual touches were unexpected but quite welcomed. His whispered words were sweet and dirty.
“Oh baby, you are gonna be so ready for my cock when I’m done with you. Aren’t you?”
She nodded and her answer came out in a whine, “Yes.”
Harry chuckled and nosed at her ear, “Got the front of my trousers all wet. Would you like a taste of what your pussy is dripping?”
Another first… in bed with a man. She’d tasted herself out of curiosity a couple of times but never in front of anyone. She’d already gotten into it this far, she figured tasting herself would be fine so she nodded.
Harry removed a palm from her right breast and drew his fingers through her slippery cunt, spreading her labia and lathering his fingers in her before grasping her chin with his other hand and tilting her head back so he could watch as he stuffed his drenched fingers into her mouth.
She closed her eyes as his fingers dragged over her tongue and his knuckles rubbed at the roof of her mouth. She was just as she’d tasted before. It wasn’t a surprise but the gesture, the way it was happening, being held and tied and taken care of… it was hot.
“You taste so good, Y/n. Needed to share it with you. Let you taste first. Before I have my turn.”
Harry pulled his fingers from her lips and then brought his hands back down to her breasts and this time his mouth caught hers, keeping her head turned so he could have access, as he rolled her nipples between his fingers. She whimpered into his mouth and couldn’t believe how pathetic she sounded.
Slowly, he released her chin as he pushed her to bend at the waist with her ass in the air, face smushed into her mattress.
Harry groaned as he put his big palms over her round-as-a-plum bottom and squeezed. Her bum was his favorite. He’d never seen one so perfect. Her thick tush and soft thighs were beckoning to him. It was one of the first things he’d noticed about her when they first met in fact. And now here he was getting to touch it and smack it.
But before he could get to the piece de resistance he leaned in and licked over her glistening crease. She gasped as she jerked her body, not expecting a tongue to be gliding through her needy slit but that didn’t deter him. It only made him go in harder, lapping at her and moaning as he pressed in harder, the tip of his nose pressing into her anus as the vibrator was set as close to her clit as it could get.
She wanted to grab onto something but was unable to with her hands tied behind her back. Her face was smushed into the mattress as he ate her out from behind. Another thing she’d never been on the receiving end of. Being eaten out from behind with her bum hole exposed and a nose nudging into her. Probably smelling all of her.
“Harry!” She shrieked when he sucked her clit into his mouth and pushed two fingers in as far as they’d reach.
Harry chuckled as he kissed her pussy and moved away to speak, “Do I need to spank you? I really would prefer you to address me properly when we’re playing.”
She panted and squeezed her eyes closed as he continued fingering her, “Fuck… Daddy. Sorry.” It was hard for her to remember all the rules and calling anyone Daddy in this setting was foreign to her.
Harry got back to lapping at her leisurely. He could feel the vibrations from the wand making her labia buzz softly against his lips and his fingers.
He felt his cock digging into the inside of his zipper and it hurt. He needed to let the beast out for relief so he reluctantly backed away and undid his pants, pulling his cock out. He pressed himself to her entrance, letting the underside of his bare cock lather in her wetness.
She felt how warm he was as he let himself slide through her pussylips slowly. The vibrator was putting her on edge fast, “Please! Fuck me, Daddy…” she groaned lowly and Harry hissed when she backed herself toward him, his tip nearly getting swallowed by her drippy pussy.
“Yeah? Need Daddy’s cock? Which hole do you want it in?”
This had her suddenly caught off guard. She assumed something else but when his tip was pressed at her other hole she wasn’t sure how to respond.
Harry noticed her silence but wasn’t deterred, “It’s okay if you don’t want to try. But I think you’ll like it. I can start off using my fingers like last time, fuck your pussy for a bit and then let you decide if you think you want it.”
“Yeah. Okay. Let’s try that first,” her words were mumbled with the way her cheek was smashed into the bed.
He was prepared with a bottle of lube next to him and he squirted a healthy dollop over her bum, pressing the slick liquid into her hole gently with one finger. His thick tip was positioned at her desperate little pussy hole and he sighed at the view. One of his fingers taking up space in her bum and his cock ready to push its way inside, “Shit, baby. I have to grab a condom,” he spoke lowly as he toyed with her opening a little more, tempting fate and allowing the smallest bit of his cock to press into her cunt.
“No! Please, Daddy… just like this. Just fuck me. Please,” she was nearly shaking as she felt his smooth crown dipping into her. She wanted him bare. Wanted to feel him rigid and unsheathed inside of her.
Harry pulled in a deep breath and moaned. It was music to his ears. He hadn’t wanted a condom with her. He was desperate to push inside without any barriers and she was giving him permission.
Plunging in the smallest bit before pulling back out, his tip was coated in her arousal, “Yeah? You want Daddy’s cock raw, baby? Want me to fill you up now? Fuck you like I was meant to?”
She tried to push herself back onto him with the bit of movement she was able to conjure and she moaned when she felt him pushing into her, but this time, he didn’t pull out as he slid his second finger into her ass and plunged his wide cock into her pussy, spreading her apart, he groaned at how absolutely sopping she was already.
Much like the first time he fingered her ass and fucked her, the tension and the tight feeling were the same, but it felt good, the pleasure blossomed and felt heavy, thick, tangible. It was as if something inside of her was becoming unfastened. But unlike last time she had a vibrating wand sending shockwaves over her body leaving goosebumps under Harry’s hand when he touched her skin.
Oh, and she was bound by her wrists and ankle so there was that too.
Harry pressed into her until his balls were flush against her body and the vibrations of the wand were making his insides nearly burst. He didn’t want to come too fast, but he had been on edge for over an hour. An hour of torture. Beginning with their steakhouse restaurant bathroom antics, to the way she licked and sucked him in the car ride and until now. And not having a condom on was going to be something to contend with. The condom helped to decrease the delicious sensations he was currently feeling with her warm, wet walls squeezing around him tightly.
Harry slowly moved out and back in, watching his prick as her pussy gripped him and sucked him in, glazing his cock in her cream, dampening his pubic hair at his base.
Y/n loved the feel of him bare inside of her. He felt harder and thicker, the friction was more intense and the idea that he was fucking her without a condom was a turn-on as well. Her breathing deepened as she felt him dip into her so far it ached. He was going in slowly but every time he bottomed out he jerked himself into her as if to make a point about what they were doing. He was being gentle, but his cock was pressing into her guts and making space for its size.
He could tell her breathing was becoming labored and louder. She was arching her back slightly more and rolling her hips the best she could. She was searching for her orgasm. It was close. The intent was to fuck her slowly until she came and shivered and wept and begged. And then he’d fuck into her until she’d calmed and finger her ass deeper and harder until she was ready for his dick.
He angled his two fingers upward and twisted slowly as he rocked his hips into her. Everything was vibrating. His cock was throbbing and aching to come as he fingered her bottom and watched as she slowly got used to the intrusion.
“You can come, baby. Come on Daddy’s cock. Let’s see it.” He urged her.
She was so close. So so so close. Her body was sweating and buzzing. Her clit was just out of reach of the toy but she knew she could come. Her clit might not have had anything touching it directly but the wand was thrumming just below it and making her button pulse and jolt.
“I wanna come! I wanna come, Daddy…” she groaned as she pinched her eyes closed and felt tears forced from her lashes.
“Then do it, little girl. Fucking come, baby,” Harry continued using his fingers and his cock on her but he had to close his eyes. The sinful scene was too much for any mortal to withstand. Harry was going to come if he kept watching. He gritted his teeth as he felt her shaking and a soft rumble fell from her mouth. Her thighs stiffened and her gentle moans and gasps turned into breathy panting and then shouts of his name as she erupted in bliss on his cock.
Harry coughed out a gasp and continued his slow thrusts as his balls tightened readying for an orgasm. But he sucked in a sharp breath and let his mind wander to another place that gave him a second wind of sorts. Something to keep him from coming prematurely. He wanted to praise her and watch as she spasmed and pulsed around him but for the sake of good sex, he had to hold back. He needed to wait to come. His priority was her. And to be able to get the chance to fuck her ass.
When her shivering thighs slowly melted and her body relaxed Harry pulled out with a gasp. Just in the nick of time. He panted as he gathered himself, his throbbing cock was wet and cooled by the air of her bedroom, “Fuck baby. Almost made me come you felt so good.”
He kept his fingers inside of her, and now she was relaxed around his fingers. With his free hand, he gathered up her arousal on his fingers and smeared it around her hole before pushing a third finger inside of her. She moaned softly and opened her eyes at the feel of the extra finger pressing into her.
Her body was spent but there was still a spark of heat and arousal there. As if she hadn’t yet been fully satisfied, despite the intense orgasm she’d just endured. The vibrating of the wand was still going strong.
Harry poured a little more lube onto her anus as he pushed into her deeply, his fingers fully submerged, fucking into her.
“How does this feel?”
Sucking air into her lungs she felt the dampness of the blanket under her mouth where she’d drooled, “So good. It’s good, Daddy.”
Harry grinned as he began to increase his steady pace to something a little harder, faster. He held onto her low back as he fucked her ass with his fingers. The lube was making it slippery and her tight hole was easing up its grip little by little.
“Want me in here? Want to feel what it’s like to have Daddy’s cock stuffed in this little hole baby?”
She did. Yes, she did. So she nodded and grunted as she tried turning her head the slightest to see him.
Harry had composed himself considerably and he felt that he could last a bit longer, not much, but he could give her a nice preview of what it was like. A good handful of minutes, five he hoped he could last.
With his fingers still inside of her, he poured more lube over her backside, pressing the liquid in and around, and kissed her cheeks softly before finally, slowly, bringing his fingers out.
Harry bent down to continue softly kissing her tush. Making her keen as he neared the sacred little, undefiled hole he planned on desecrating.
When she felt his tongue glide from her core to her ass she shuddered. His lips and tongue on her anus were warm and wet and then she felt cool liquid drip and smear over her bum.
“Keep relaxed like you are, baby. Doing so good for me. Tell me to stop if you need. I will.”
He grasped her hips and tucked his front to her bottom, holding his shaft in his hands he pushed his tip to her hole as he massaged the spot just above her anus. His cock was already covered with her arousal as he began to gently, slowly, tactfully press in.
She immediately tensed and he stopped, “You’re doing good, baby. Just relax for me. Gonna push past this little tight muscle and then it’ll feel like heaven. Okay?”
She panted and nodded. The vibrating wand keeping her aroused and loose.
It was very tight. Harry knew, though, that once he passed the entry and had her spread apart she’d like it. It would feel incredible. Her little opening was slowly relaxing into the intrusion as he nudged his way in, little by little.
It hurt. She could admit that it hurt. But not in an unpleasant, no-go kind of way. In a this’ll only hurt for a second but will be worth it in the end kind of way. She knew that he would take care of her and he was so gentle and soft with his words and his touch that she urged her own body to relax and indulge with him.
The small snap of his tip pressing past her tight ring had her popping her eyes open and groaning. The sting of it made her sinuses burn but then… oh… then it was… oh my! Heavy and achy and divine. Something flipped over from an unpleasant sting to an intense need that wound its way over her backside. Goosebumps erupted over her bottom and she was struck with a full feeling like nothing she’d ever experienced. Her breath caught in her lungs as she felt him slice into her slowly, the pinch disappearing and being replaced with something… something edible, bitable? almost. She couldn’t pinpoint the way to describe how it felt as if she should be biting into something toothsome and mouthwatering. Yummy and textural. But heavily laden with sex and wet and heat.
Harry blew out through his mouth as he slowly entered her. The wand was making everything even feel intense on his cock, “Ooh, you like that don’t you, baby girl? I knew you would. Feels so fucking good.”
Y/n was stuck with her mouth wide open and eyes clamped shut. The saturation of tactile sensation was like a craving being placated. A craving she didn’t know she had until she felt it. She couldn’t move or respond or think. She could only feel. Accept. Surrender.
Harry’s thrusts became tighter as he got into a rhythm, slow and methodical. Not wanting to push her too far, nor himself for that matter. If he could make it last just a few moments longer he would take his time so he could luxuriate in the way she felt on him and the way she looked wrapped tightly around him.
Finally, a gasp from her lips and a moan as her hands balled into fists behind her back. Harry had his fingers digging into the soft flesh on her hips, slowly thudding into her and feeling his heart thunder behind his ribcage.
Her hole began to squeeze around him and her thighs tightened and stiffened as she mouthed unintelligible words and noises into the soft blanket below her face.
Harry blinked his eyes and cooed at her when he realized she was coming. Coming from anal sex. From the wand just barely close enough to stimulate her clit and his cock inside of her.
“Holy fuck… come baby.” Harry wouldn’t come inside of her. Not yet. The sensation might be too much for her on her first time but now he struggled to hold himself back. He didn’t allow himself to look away this time, fully immersing himself in the experience of her coming from his cock reaching as deep as it could possibly go inside of her. Her breathy moans and mumbles of gratification filled the room as the bed gently rocked under his shallow thrusts.
The moment she wobbled and softened as her orgasm began to subside he pulled out as gently as humanly possible before he could come, pumping himself in long strokes, his palm now wetted with his lover’s slick as he pulled his shaft and doused her bottom and low back with his sperm.
Y/n heard him groaning in breathy ecstasy as he poured onto her bum, wet ropes of his come cooled her hot skin when the air hit the wet streaks on her backside as one of his hands clamped onto her hip. She was so close to just collapsing, but Harry’s firm grip kept her hips up.
Harry milked himself as he watched the breathtaking sight of his sweet girl’s puckering hole and drippy pussy coated in his come as it dripped down over her in a sinful font. 
She breathed slowly as she let him finish and then felt his fingers unwrapping the tape from her wrists. When her arms were free she put her palms into the mattress and Harry pulled her down to her side and removed the tape from her ankles and then from her thigh, turning the wand off once and for all. He was still breathing deeply from the exertion of his orgasm. She watched the black tape as he flung it toward the end of the bed and then laid himself behind her body, pressing his chest into her back in silence.
It was nice to be quiet for a moment. The noise of sex and labored breaths, panting, and moans, and metal springs in the bed were now only a lustful memory. But the wetness between her legs and on her back was still very much present. Though she had no mind to get up to clean herself in that moment. To bask in the silence and the soft breaths in Harry’s arms was a treasure.
Harry’s thoughts were all over the place. He’d just had raw sex with her. And anal. And she liked it. And she left her date for him. And she used to be married but her husband was dead. And he was falling for her hard. It was a lot but he welcomed it all.
He ran his fingers through her hair and the nap of her neck was sweaty like his was. She sighed as he felt his heart pounding still. Not from exertion this time but from just being next to her. Having her in his arms. Being with her.
“How do you feel?”
Y/n pried her eyes open and turned to see him from her peripheral, “So relaxed. Really good. But, in truth… it does kind of hurt a little right now. Stings a bit.”
Harry kissed her cheek and smoothed his hand down her hip and was quickly reminded of how messy they were. His come was still on her skin and he’d just smeared it down to her thigh, “Do you have Epsom salt? We can take a warm bath and let you relax a bit. It’ll help.”
Y/n decided that warm baths after sex were her new favorite thing. Well, that could have been because it was with Harry who was attentive and soft and loving. The warm water with Epsom salts did actually soothe her muscles and relaxed her body.
Harry had his head leaned against the wall with his eyes closed and Y/n pressed into his chest, snug between his thighs with the back of her head leaned on his shoulder when Harry finally spoke again, “Be my girlfriend.”
She fluttered her eyes open and pinched her brows together, “Are you asking or are you telling?”
Harry chuckled and pushed his face into her neck, puffs of his breath falling into bursts on her sensitive skin as his chest vibrated against her back, “Asking. Of course. Choice is yours.”
The small peck to the nape of her neck sent goosebumps cascading down her back and sent her heart to wallop around in her chest.
“Are you serious? Why?!”
“Well, geez! You make it seem like you’d never consider it. What’s wrong with being my girlfriend?” Harry jested.
“I just… I’m already trying to wrap my head around the fact that you even want to sleep with me. But… girlfriend?”
“Why would it be hard to believe I want to sleep with you?”
Sighing she sat upward and turned to face the naked tattooed man that sat in her tub, “I’m… well I’m not that attractive. Not on your level of attractive-“
“You’re still on that? Thought I made it clear how gorgeous you are. If anyone should be feeling that way it’s me. I’m lucky you even gave me the time of day.”
The small, surprised smile on her face slowly grew wider. She knew he liked her. She really did. But it still felt so foreign. So unlikely.
Harry’s grin softened as he dragged his gaze down to her tits. He couldn’t help himself. Her body had him boiling hot and the way she was sitting had her breasts peeking out from the water just so. When she pushed at his shoulder with a laugh to bring his attention back up to her face he pulled at her arm and brought her back into his chest, “Be my girlfriend. Please.”
.        .        .
Waking up together was even better than the first time they did it. Because now they were a couple and she was feeling things for Harry she hadn’t felt for anyone in a long time. She was also feeling a bit sore. Again. After she nodded and laughed out an ‘Okay, fine!’ when Harry asked her for the second time (or more so told her) to be his girlfriend they had sex again. But it was much softer. There was no bondage tape or vibrating wand, spanking, or pinching.
Harry laid her down on her bed and fucked into her slowly, their damp bodies slipping together, not having had the foresight to dry off before lying on her comforter. But it didn’t matter. Harry’s languid strokes filled her so perfectly and the bed shifted softly under them in rhythm with his thrusts while he brought them both to orgasm as Harry released inside of her for the first time. They stared at one another as they came. Harry had both of her hands in his, fingers slotted together and arms raised above her head, “My girlfriend. Gonna be so good to you, baby.”
Y/n sighed and gasped at the new sensation. His loving movements and the way he was looking at her, kissing her softly, with his cock deep inside, praises, and promises were all making her lose composure. She could fall in love. She definitely could.
And Harry? Well, that was his goal. He wanted her love and he wanted all of her. She was his and he was already hers. His heart was hers.
Just remembering how sensual and gentle Harry was made her heart burst. She turned her head to see Harry fast asleep still. Dark curls strewn about in a wild mess on his head. She lightly pushed his hair off of his forehead to get a better look at the sleeping beauty. Pink lips smushed into the pillow, dark lashes pressed to his skin… a true beauty.
Before even opening his eyes he spoke, “Morning.”
Y/n grinned and ran her fingers further into his hair now that she knew he was awake. She wanted some more of him. Loved what they’d done the night before. Maybe anal sex could be for another day, she would need a little break back there, but the tape on her wrists and the way she had very little control felt exhilarating. It was like deep sea diving for the first time ever and finding your true passion was marine life and the sea.
She trailed her hand down to his clavicle and traced the inked sparrows, “Did this hurt?”
Harry opened his eyes, tired and puffy as he looked at his lover who was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, so to speak, “Yeah. They all hurt a bit. But it’s part of the process. Started getting tattoos when I was pretty young.”
Y/n nodded and smoothed her hand down over the butterfly and then grazed his nipples with her fingers, “You look so good with all of them. Would you get more?”
He smiled and stretched his arms overhead and then took her hand in his bringing it up to his lips, “Yes. Always thinking about what’s next. You don’t have any yourself I noticed.”
Shaking her head she spoke, “Never thought to get anything. Figured it would hurt too much.”
The sudden cheeky smirk that appeared on his face was a dead giveaway that he was about to say something that matched his expression, “Not any more than a penis in your little bum hole.”
“Oh my god, Harry!” She snorted as he laughed out through his nose, dimples making him look more innocent than he was.
“How do you feel?”
That was a question he seemed to be asking her a lot. And her answer was always the same, “I feel great.”
Keeping her eyes on his she pulled her hand from his and continued to move her hand downward so she could touch his abdomen, fit and tight with a light scattering of hair down to his happy trail. He was naked and the lower she got, the hairier he was under her fingers.
Harry licked his lips and allowed her to continue her path downward with her hand and then parted his lips, letting out a small puff of breath when her palm met his thickening prick.
“Can we go again? And then I’ll make breakfast?” She raised her brows at him as she slide her hand over him, feeling him plump up quickly under her palm.
Harry snorted a small laugh from his nostrils, “Would never say no to that.”
She was swiftly being pushed down to her back and having her thighs pushed apart as Harry positioned himself between her legs, his face kissing down her thick thighs he looked up at her, his lips moving over her skin as he spoke, “Wish I could bite into you. So perfectly plumpy and juicy,” he ran his tongue downward close to her hip before moving over to her other side, “Soft like a pillow,” he moaned as he lowered his face over her cunt.
When he spit down over her clit she groaned as she watched him begin to lick into her. It was sloppy and wet. Not only because she was already wet, but because Harry was drooling and spitting as he went. Lapping her up and spreading her out with his tongue and his fingers.
“Prettiest little pussy. Giving Daddy something to snack on so early. Such a good girl.”
Y/n rolled her eyes to the back of her head and moaned as she let herself fall back into the pillow and enjoy him. One hand worked his fingers into her while his other held her thigh and squeezed her soft skin, adding more bruises to the canvas of her flesh.
Before she could come, right before, Harry lifted his face up and removed his fingers, slowly sliding his hands up her tummy and to her breasts. Gently rolling her nipples between his fingers she gasped, “You’re so fuckable, Y/n. Your tits are begging for something to pinch at them. Can I pretty girl?”
She didn’t know what he meant exactly. She assumed he was going to pinch down harder over her but when she nodded he got up from the bed and pulled out a small stainless steel chain with tiny rubber-tipped clamps at each end her eyes widened.
She pushed herself up to sit as he sat back down next to her, “These can be adjusted so it only pinches as hard as you like. Want to try this out. Is that okay?”
She inspected the chain and clamps and felt her heart race. The man was quite kinky and who would’ve known? If he brought bondage tape and clamps in his bag she wondered what sort of things he had at home. She knew he was into a bit of BDSM, that he was dominant and enjoyed playing with her that way, but it was still somewhat of a shock because his stage persona was sweet and fun and flirty.
She looked up at him and slowly nodded, “Okay. But maybe just like gentle. At first. I’m still really sensitive.”
Harry grinned and put the clamps in her hands before bringing his large palms over her breasts and slowly massaged, “I know you’re sensitive. Which is why I think this is going to feel really good once you get past the initial bit of pain. Go on, try them on. That little knob can make it as tight or loose as you like.”
He watched as she put them on herself. He would have loved to have done the honors but he wanted her to take her time and get the right tension. When the clamps were tight enough to hold on to her nipples and the small chain was hanging down between her breasts Harry delicately pulled at the chain and brought her forward so he could kiss her.
The feel of the clamps tugging on her nipples sent a shock of ice down her body. Was she crazy to be letting this happen at… she turned her head to see the time on the clock- 8:39 am? Yes. Perhaps she was crazy.
“Don’t look at the time. We’re not punching a clock today, are we? We’re just gonna have a bit of fun and then have some breakfast.”
Y/n laughed but it was quickly cut off by his small yank, her nipples perking under the pull of the clamp.
Harry moved off the bed, his hard cock bobbing as he shifted and pulled Y/n so her bottom was at the edge of the mattress. He pulled her legs up over his thighs and painted his cock through her labia, wet and ready. The sound of him pushing her arousal around was drowned out by her moans when he pulled at the center of the chain at the same time as he entered her.
Harry’s feet were on the floor, one hand at her hip and the other on the chain as he rocked into her. He gently pulled the chain each time he pushed deep into her, her breasts being tugged upward.
“Oh my god!” She panted her words as he began to fuck into her with more muscle, his strong thighs steadying and working himself into her harder.
“Like that? So pretty like this, baby,” Harry cooed at his girlfriend as he manipulated her tits. He didn’t want to yank too hard but he loved how she clenched around each time he pulled at the chain.
“Ffuck!” Y/n did like it. She was surprised. Harry was so good at what he did, only tugging the chain and making her nipples pinch when he dipped into her achingly deep. He knew what he was doing. Trying to help her equate the pain from her nipples being wrenched up by the clamps with the pleasure of his cock gliding through her walls. Pain with pleasure. It worked. She was so wet and so desperate to come in record time that even Harry was surprised. He figured she’d enjoy it but she was fast to respond.
“Ooh! Oh, ffff! M’gonna come, Harry!!”
Harry groaned a laugh, though nothing they were doing was funny. He was only caught off guard by how fast she was being tipped over the edge.
Pulling his cock out quickly she gasped and whined, “What?! Harry?”
“How do you address me?” He raised his brows and swatted her thigh with a pop.
“Fuck!” She groaned. It was going to take some getting used to, calling him Daddy, “Sorry. I keep forgetting,” she panted, “Daddy.”
Harry lifted the chain upward slowly, pulling her tits upward as he cocked his to the side and watched her face twist up, “I think you should tighten this a little. Let’s take the training wheels off shall we?”
Y/n’s eyes widened, already feeling the discomfort of the clamps as he tugged her nipples. But just underneath that discomfort was electrostatic energy bursting in her veins that gave her a rush of arousal. In other words, she was very turned on by it and Harry could see that.
“I’m not sure I can. It’s already so tight,” she spoke in breaths.
“Well then just say you can’t and we won’t,” he countered.
She kept her eyes on his, understanding that she could say no and he’d stop. But did she want to say no? Did she think that maybe having the clamps a little tighter might feel a little more painful and be too much? Or possibly even spark something that turned her on even more?
Harry waited a bit for her to answer, knowing she was trying to determine what she wanted. This was all new to her after all.
“Do you want me to do it for you?”
Harry let go of the chain and reverently kneaded her fleshy breasts as his thumbs swiped just under her clamped nipples.
“Okay. Yes. Please. You do it. Just a little, though. I’m nervous.”
Harry grinned as he brought his gaze over her beautiful tits and started with the left side, twisting the knob to tighten the clamp little by little. He watched her face when she let out a huff of a gasp, “Okay?”
She nodded her head and looked at him, “Yeah. You can do a little more.”
Y/n was surprised that she could have the clamps any tighter than they had been, but the pinch was welcome.
Mostly.
“Okay! That’s enough!”
Harry chuckled as he released the knob and stopped twisting, “Want more on this side?”
Y/n was panting as she nodded, “Yes, just slowly- oh god…”
He began twisting the clamp to tighten slowly, her nipples being compressed under the rubber tips.
“Yes. Okay, that’s good.”
“Good girl. Now. What can I do to help you to remember the proper way to address me? Hmm?”
She was still lying flat on the mattress as Harry stood with his feet planted on the floor, his hard cock just above her, where he was inside of her only moments earlier. She swallowed and pushed herself up a bit, “Is this not enough?” She gestured over the clamps.
Harry grinned and shook his head, “I mean, I think you like it. That’s not really punishment at all is it?”
Her mouth dropped open and she looked to the corner of the room before turning her gaze back up to the naked man above her, “I don’t know.” Her voice was small suddenly.
“Well, then I’ve got an idea,” Harry spoke casually as he backed away from the bed, “You are so good at giving head and I really need to come so I’m gonna fuck your mouth while I pull at that chain. You had enough orgasms last night I think. Perhaps today you don’t get to come at all. You’re just gonna be Daddy’s little fuck toy today instead. How’s that sound?”
Sitting up fully, pressing her palms into the mattress she scrunched her brows together. No orgasm? She guessed this was part of the way he played. The way he liked to do things sometimes. And if she was going to do this with him then she figured she’d go along with it. Even though she really really wanted to come.
“Like orgasm denial?”
Harry gave her a mocking smile, “Yes. Like orgasm denial. So you learn your lesson and remember to call me Daddy.”
She nodded and stayed put in her spot, “Okay. Whatever you want, Daddy.”
“Good girl. Lie back on the bed but have your head right here at the edge so I can put your mouth to good use.” And so he could pull at the chain connected to the clamps secured to her nipples and give her a bit of pleasure. A bit of pain.
She did as she was told, scooting her body around until her head was at the edge of the bed and she could see Harry standing over her upside down.
Harry gently stroked over her neck, “I’m fuck this pretty throat until I come,” he pulled at the chain, “and tug at this while I do so.”
She groaned at the feel of her heavy breasts being lifted up by her nipples.
“If you need me to stop just pinch my thigh or something. But I expect you to be a good girl and to take your punishment nicely. Then later on if I’m feeling generous maybe I’ll let you come.”
He instructed her to open her mouth up and stick her tongue out. Harry dipped himself in past her plump lips and pulled out before thrusting in again slightly deeper, only to pull out as he watched strings of spit from her mouth stick to his cock. Holding himself at the base he tapped her lips with the crown of his prick and she tasted herself all over him. His entire shaft tasted of her, his balls and the pubic hair, coated in her arousal still.
Finally, he plunged in and pushed himself down her throat and watched it bulge with his long dick. At first, he started off slowly. Letting her get used to the sensation, pulling out a little to let her catch her breath and delicately pulling at the chain, causing her to moan around his cock in a delicious torment.
She had never had her throat fucked before. And it wasn’t what she’d call pleasant. Nor was getting her tits tugged at by the metal implement clamped to them. But his groans and choked words made her heart pound. He was enjoying the way she felt. He was using her body to get off and somehow, in some sick and twisted part of her brain, that was hot. It was so enticing to be a thing for Harry Styles to get off on. To use and to fuck and to come inside of.
The harder he went in and the more she gagged around him the more she enjoyed the feeling of the discomfort his cock caused her. The drool that dripped down her face into her ears cooled her skin and her tongue was beginning to ache from the rigid position she was holding it.
But it was the way he was tugging her nipples that sent that familiar electrostatic burst through her veins and it felt… like she could burst. She tried squeezing her thighs together and rolled her hips upward as she clamped her eyes closed and moaned around his cock. She was given a moment to take in a breath before he thrust back into her throat and he moaned, “Fucking, gorgeous, baby. Hottest woman I’ve ever seen.”
The praise had her head spinning and the arousal that was slowly building continued to flow through her core. She was unable to control the way her body responded to her nipples being painfully wrangled under the clamps.
Harry could see her clenching her thighs and swaying her hips as she moaned and gurgled. God, he’d found the perfect woman. She didn’t even know she liked any of this before him. It’s a good thing they met, he thought to himself with a smirk.
“Holy… fuck, fuck…” Harry coughed his words as his hips stuttered. He tugged the chain and watched as he manipulated her beautiful tits to his liking as his balls began to tighten. He knew he’d come fast like this. He’d already been on the verge earlier when he fucked her pussy.
He pulled himself out as he kept the chain in his hand with her breasts lifted upward. He needed a moment. He wanted to come but wanted to make it dramatic.
Releasing the chain he bent down to put his lips over hers and cooed, “So good. My little come vessel? You ready for Daddy’s load? Gonna take it like a good girl?”
Y/n groaned and raised her hips, needing something, anything. God, she was on edge but she knew her punishment was that she couldn’t come. Not yet anyway. She’d be sure to be very good and very sweet so maybe he’d let her come later. She realized she liked this a lot.
“Yes, Daddy. I’m ready.” Her words came out in a rasp.
“Open up that mouth wide,” he spoke, his face still hovering over hers as he tapped her cheeks.
She reopened her mouth and stuck her tongue out then suddenly felt his saliva slide down her tongue and into her throat, catching her off guard the slightest bit. But just as quickly as she realized that he’d spit into her mouth he was repositioning himself over her and stuffing his cock down her throat.
Harry’s gasps and moans were like music to her ears. She loved his singing voice, and the way he sounded when he was fucking her was quite the same she determined. He had a pretty voice whether he was talking, singing, or fucking.
This time, his thrusts were rough as he yanked at her nipples. Her eyes went wide at the sudden sharp pain but then the spark drove down her ribcage into her tummy and shocked her cunt with a dose of arousal she had not expected. She’d heard of women being able to come from nipple play alone and now she got it. She understood it now as her throat was being railed and air was being blocked from getting into her lungs. She moaned and rolled her hips as Harry pressed in balls deep and gritted his teeth.
She tasted the first bit of his come as he gasped and then pulled out. She gulped air into her lungs and then felt his come pour out onto her lips, her chin, and eyes, then over her neck and down to her tits that were being tugged at harshly. It hurt and it felt like heaven.
Her mouth was wide open as she sucked in oxygen and arched her back toward the pull of the clamps as Harry drained himself on her, his own loud moans overtaking any noise she might be making.
Suddenly he pressed his cock back into her throat and released the last bit of his come down her esophagus and into her belly before pulling back out and stroking his cock over her face, milking the last bit of his release over her cheeks and nose.
Her chest was heaving just as hard as his. She groaned when he let go of the chain. She thought for a moment, the smallest moment, that she would come if he continued pulling at her nipples the way he was. Her buds were sore and pulsing but the radiating pain was coupled with that pleasure that she always got when she was turned on and slippery wet.
Harry stood back and looked over Y/n’s body, “See? I’m an artist too? I can sing and I can paint,” he laughed lowly as he helped her sit up and smirked, “My canvass is beautiful, though, so it was easy to make pretty.”
She laughed and shook her head, “Wow. A real comedian.”
“I am known to crack a few good ones. My fans love my jokes.”
She gestured toward her face, “Uh, can I… ?”
Harry helped her into the bathroom to clean up. She was quite the mess. While he handed her a damp towel to wipe off he loosened the clamps slowly and pulled each one off.
She hissed once the implement was removed from her final nipple and Harry groped at her tits and licked over each nipple, giving a proper kiss over them before standing upright and clapping his hands together, “Time for breakfast!”
.        .        .
Most of the weekend was spent at her house. Harry fucked her, tied her up, clamped her nipples again (which she requested), and spanked her as she came around his cock while he had her lying flat on her tummy.
It was… fun. She had fun with him.
On Sunday afternoon they went out to the little pizzeria in town and sat in the dining room to eat the Neapolitan-style pizza they ordered.
“So, I guess now that you’re my girlfriend I should warn you, and I’m sure you know this, about what to kind of expect.”
This had her attention. She knew they needed to discuss some of the details.
“You and I will be photographed together occasionally. Sometimes it’ll be fans that catch us, sometimes the paparazzi will know where I’m at. They already know my schedule, my usual hotels, the gym I go to, things like that. And they’ll probably start to learn yours as well. You may see them yards away and not even realize it at first.”
Y/n sipped her coffee as Harry explained what she might experience with the paparazzi and his fans.
“But it will be more invasive than just that. People will find out everything they can about you. They’ll make up lies about you and me. Some straight-up wild conspiracies. They’ll be mean. Some might even reach out to you directly and threaten you.”
“Has that happened before? An ex was threatened?” She raised her brows in surprise.
Harry nodded, “Yes. Some years ago an ex was at my concert and she was cornered and we had to get security involved. So, after that, I learned that anyone I date has to have security nearby if they’re at my concert. Also, direct messages on Instagram or Twitter too. But that’s not as scary. You can limit who comments on your posts or just make your accounts private.”
Harry reached across the table and took her hand in his, “But I need you to keep trusting me. To ignore what you read and probably just don’t read it at all. It’s best to not even open up the comments section when you see photos of yourself or us anywhere.”
Just then, as if by some kind of karmic summoning, a light flashed and the sound of a cellphone's camera rang out, two, then three times. Harry put his hand up, “That’s enough. Would be polite if you asked first next time.”
The two young girls, who were actually closer to your age than anything, squeaked out a sorry! before scurrying off.
Harry pointed toward where the girls were headed, “That’s a good example right there. Taking our photos and videos without our permission while we’re at dinner. They might not share it with anyone but chances are at some point those photos will be seen. I just want you to be prepared.”
Y/n nodded and realized that now, people were looking. They hadn’t noticed before but suddenly they were aware that Harry Styles was sitting only feet away in a small pizzeria in suburbia Illinois with a woman. The girls with their forced impromptu photo op had alerted the other patrons         of his presence. She sighed.
“So, can you do that? Keep trusting me?”
She nodded again, “Yeah. I think so. I guess we’ll see how it goes but I like you a lot. I want to see where this goes.”
Harry squeezed her hand, “Good. I hope you feel I’m worth it. It’s going to get a bit bumpy but if you can ignore that sort of nonsense and noise then we’re gonna be great.”
The pizza was delicious. Y/n knew it would be. She’d eaten at the pizzeria many times and she knew she had to bring Harry before he left. They’d been doing nothing but eating delivery, having sex, taking baths, and sleeping the whole time. It was necessary to get out of her house and comb her hair once and for all and it felt good. But she did feel the grating presence of eyes on them as they ate and even when they left the restaurant together.
Back at her house, she pouted as Harry started to pack some of his things away. She wasn’t ready for their little weekend to end.
“Hey, no pouting,” Harry said as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead, “I’ve got an idea.”
Tilting her head back to look up at him she raised a brow in question.
“Come back with me. To LA. We can ship all your stuff to my house and then you can come with me to Europe. I don’t want to be away from you.”
Blinking her eyes and shaking her brain of the puzzlement she continuously seemed to feel with him she smiled with her eyes wide, “Really? You want me to come with you?”
Harry shrugged with a dimpled grin, “Course I do. I need you to. Will you?”
“I mean… I can’t fly out with you tomorrow. I’ve got to get a few things to get in order but it’ll take only a few days. When do you leave for Europe?”
“Week and a half.”
“Um… Well, how about I fly out to LA a few days before you leave and… if you really want then I can come with you- but are you sure? Is that not too much?”
“I can do what I want, Y/n. This is my gig. I want you there. I need you there.”
Swallowing down her doubts and looking at his mouth and then to his eyes she felt nothing but excitement in her bones as she nodded, “Okay. I’ll go with you to Europe.”
Chapter 4
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bunbeeplays · 2 months
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The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 42 - You Can Have Emotional Healing as a Little Treat
Time for Ophelia’s next re-traiting therapy session. Her therapist has a surprise.
Omari: I couldn’t find lollipops but my twins and I made these apple cider doughnuts. And by that, I mean I made them while they played in the cabinets. Toddlers, y’know.
Ophelia: Aww, thanks!
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Ophelia chows down on her doughnut with a fork for some reason. Doesn't want to get glaze under her nails, I guess.
Omari: Did you keep that journal I asked you to?
Ophelia: Yeah.
Omari: Wonderful, why don’t we go over the past few days?
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Ophelia: I didn’t swipe anything, not even autonomously.
Omari: That’s very impressive. I’m sure the urge was still there, correct?
Ophelia: Yeah. I got a tense moodlet and a want a couple of times to swipe an object.
Omari: That’s not uncommon.
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Omari: Tell me about the times you wanted to swipe.
Ophelia: It's kind of weird, normally it just felt like I swiped whenever I wanted to because it made me feel good, but now that I’ve actually been trying to control myself, I noticed it only comes when I’m alone.
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Omari: That makes sense. Being alone means there’s less risk of being caught.
Ophelia: But I can’t constantly surround myself with people. I’m going to have to do things alone sometimes.
Omari: Correct. And that’s what you’re here for.
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Omari: Is there any particular time of day that these swiping urges are happening?
Ophelia: The past few days, they seem to be in the morning.
Omari: After any certain routine, perhaps?
Ophelia: Oh. Uh. Yeah.
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Ophelia: Can I tell you things that are like… TMI? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.
Omari: I appreciate the concern, but I’m a trained professional. As long as you’re comfortable telling me, you can tell me whatever you’d like. I’ve heard a lot.
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Ophelia: I have an… agreement with my friend Xander.
Omari: The bartender at the wedding venue? I think you mentioned him last time.
Ophelia: Yeah. We’re… woohoo partners. And lately… I’ve been getting the urge to swipe after he leaves in the morning.
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Omari: I see. How do you feel when Xander leaves, other than wanting to swipe?
Ophelia: I don’t know. Sad. We have a lot of fun together, even if we’re just hanging out, and then it’s like… I’m all alone.
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Ophelia: It’s not just Xander. I also feel it after hanging out with my other friends. Last Harvestfest, after eating dinner with my Willow Creek friends, instead of just walking across the street back to my house, I went to a museum in another city and stole a lawn flamingo.
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Omari: Okay, good to know. Do you happen to have the people person lifestyle?
Ophelia: I do.
Omari: It’s a little early to determine anything for sure but do you want to know my theory?
Ophelia: Go for it.
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Omari: It seems like your swiping tendencies could be connected to an aversion to being alone. An urge to fill an emptiness in your life with material possessions, as well as looking to void any sad moodlets from loneliness with the adrenaline that comes from a successful swipe.
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Ophelia: I don’t like that theory.
Omari: Does it not sound accurate?
Ophelia: No, it sounds TOO accurate. That’s why I don’t like it.
Omari: Not an uncommon response.
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Omari: I don’t usually encourage using food as a coping mechanism but would a doughnut help?
Ophelia eats another doughnut, because she was very brave today and she deserves it.
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random-fandom-person · 11 months
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I appear and disappear like a ghost when it comes to the internet but this story is to good to not tell.
So before the covid times my dad had pulled me into the world of DND, as well as a friend I had. Looking through the species' I chose a Water Elf that was able to use magic, even though, according to the book we were basing it all off of, Water Elves had practiced more on hands on combat (I just like magic stuff). Her tribe was killed off by these people (can't remember who they were for the life of me) and my friend had chosen a Moon Elf with magic capabilities as well, and my father was the DM. All together there were three Elves (all of different versions, Water, Moon, and Half), A Dragonborn, an Orc(I think), with my dad playing one of them for spice (plus we needed another character, he was a dwarf). At one point after the whole meeting settle in, did a group therapy session lore drop of each character (decided to keep mine short, it was a revenge story so I gotta keep it mysterious), we had set out on our story quest. We set up camp somewhere and the Half elf had went hunting. She rolled a good number and came back successful with a giant buck dragging behind her. Meanwhile the Dragonborn and the Orc had gotten into a fight, distracting everyone from the deer, and later on leaving it out for the forest, Including the wolves that inhabited it.
Then it was my turn for watching the campsite.
Whaddia know, the wolves had found the camp while I was out for watch, I had called out to the others (luckily one elf was in a tree) but not before getting knocked out cold and almost bleeding out by the wolves. Of course we take care of the wolves, but forgot to take care of the bodies, and the deer. At this point the Dragonborn was quite literally hating on the elves and had a running gag where he'd say "Damn Elves" everytime we did something smart or out of the ordinary (my elf looked like a teen, but was actually pretty old, Moon Elf knew stuff Dragonborn didn't, etc.) At this point, all three of us elves, Moon, Water, and Half, had all decided to go into the trees for safety before knowing what we had done wrong. The rest of the party had went back to being in the regular campsite. The DM, aka my father, laughing his ass off at this point, gets not one, not two, but three giant humanoid wolf creatures on our asses (I can't remember what their called.) So, you can only imagine, as the three of us run out of things to throws at the wolf creatures, the Dwarf, Orc, and Dragonborn are slaughtered, with the the Dragonborns' last words being "DAMN ELVES" because we had safety slept in the trees. After a bit of waiting the wolf creatures had finally left and the three damned elves had to split up the loot from their fallen companions.
Reminder that even if the DM is your father, he will not let up easily for you. Even if it's your first time.
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one-systems-journey · 2 years
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28.7.22
I know none of this is particularly helpful right now. But I post & tag so that hopefully in future having this record will be helpful. It can show the depths of the challenges. That being able to see writing from the times that this was at its worst, allows people to know they’re not alone & there is hope out of the hell that is DID/OSDD.
I use letters for parts who have proper names. I don’t feel comfortable using their names online right now. Maybe we will at some point. But ‘W’ is a persecutor & is one of our longest lasting parts who we know has been around since we were a very young child.
Today we began the session by returning to a memory ‘W’ uses against us, that we began processing Tuesday. Another one of these memories she uses to fill us with shame. To tell us that we’re useless & stupid & a burden & an embarrassment.
There was a really big urge to avoid thinking about that memory. We tried processing that too. I can’t remember why specifically but ‘W’ came up or our psych started talking to her & wanted to ask some questions. I remember our psych saying something about ‘it being a sign the system didn’t feel comfortable doing what we were doing’. So, ‘W’ answered a few questions & then shoved the ‘wall’ part in front of herself. This ‘wall’ part is a detached kind of part. Someone who cuts off communication or access to others thoughts/feelings.
Our psych challenged the belief that ‘W’ has. ‘W’ had kind of been like ‘I don’t understand why you can’t see & you can’t treat us like we’re useless & stupid & do all the wrong things. Why won’t you tell us that?’. Our psych argued that she doesn’t believe those things, so why would she say them? ‘W’ said in response something to the effect that our psych was stupid. It came out of no where & was rather loud & forceful. I laughed. Then I felt bad for laughing. I don’t agree & I don’t want to be rude. I don’t even know why I laughed. ‘W’ quickly took away her statement so we couldn’t tell our psych what ‘W’ had said.
We kind of left that, after her outburst. The ‘doesn’t have DID’ part stepped in for a bit. We got really embarrassed about openly talking about parts, openly talking about what different parts were saying. We tend to minimise that a lot, even in therapy. We tend to be pretty reserved about admitting that parts are talking or influencing us. So, to be really blunt about it & even to the extent of laughing at something in our head, was quite overwhelming & embarrassing. I know none of this should be embarrassing, but it is. We struggle to accept that this is all happening.
Our psych said she wanted to talk to ‘w’ more, but when we tried to see if we could still communicate with her, the younger parts got upset. They said ‘why are you talking to her, she’s mean & doesn’t even want to talk. We’re upset & hurting’. So, we switched to a resources we’ve tried before with little success. Trying to make the littles a safe person on the inside. It was interesting. Up until now, we were trying to make a resource for the system as a whole. So when we were asked who represented a ‘safe person’, we tried to find people from our adult life. We tried to find representation from movies & TV that we’re more familiar with as an adult. It’s hard because there are no pure people in adult media. But when the little parts were asked to choose, they knew exactly who they wanted & it was perfect. She really is a flawless representation of a kind, caring parental like figure for them. They even are not a biological parent to anyone, so they can’t trigger parent stuff.
So, that was going well, til we hit a snag. Part of the process is focusing on things that show this person is kind & safe, focusing on details about them, getting the littles to go into the image with the safe person. But then our psych asked if the littles could feel the persons hand or arm touching them. We went into full emotional flashback of trauma. I didn’t really know what was happening at first other than a sudden need to stop. It slowly dawned on me that it was a flashback. So, we stopped & didn’t do any more of that today.
We just grounded & tried to get mood back to baseline. I’ve not been great tonight & I think when I turn off the phone & try to sleep, it’ll be worse. But I guess we’ll see.
Our psych said that we just need to try to go with what the parts need each appointment like we did today. Little bit by little bit. I guess we’ll see with that too. We have a start date with the new psych we want to try out. It’s like the first Tuesday in September. We’ll see how we feel closer to the day if we follow through or not.
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cathygeha · 3 months
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REVIEW
Please Tell Me by Mike Omer
Not my favorite by this author but a solid story. The synopsis sounded intriguing with the therapist there to help a child that escaped her kidnapper and a serial killer on the loose. The first chapter drew me in and set the stage but as the characters appeared I started to wonder if I would finish the book as it went from one dysfunctional couple/family to the next.
What I liked:
* The idea of having a child therapist using play therapy as a main character and her part in the story – I was expecting someone with more experience, maturity, and less personal issues though
* Kathy’s resilience, ability to escape, and her coping skills after the trauma she experienced
* The setting of a small town with the tensions, gossip, and everyone knowing one another
* The relationship between Robin, the therapist, and her sister Melody
* Melody’s healthy relationship with her husband and children – they seemed normal
* Jimmie who owned the diner and seemed a central place in town – seemed like a solid person
* The way the play therapy gave clues to finding a serial killer – though it took a bit to believe it would unfold as it did
* That the evil doers were eventually found and dealt with
What I had trouble with:
* Robin’s dysfunctional family – her mother was a piece of work that Melody seemed to “see” and handle much better than Robin did
* The romance that suddenly happened – felt like there should have been more to draw the couple together and time for them to be drawn to one another
* That there wasn’t enough backstory to validate why the evil was done by the characters doing it
* Understanding how Robin’s ex, Clair’s husband, and Robin’s father could be so clueless and lacking in empathy
* The believability factor that was missing for me
Did I enjoy this book? Not as much as I had hoped I would
Would I read more by this author? Yes, if the synopsis appealed, I would give it a try
Thank you to NetGalley and Thomas & Mercer for the ARC – This is my honest review.
2-3 Stars
BLURB
After a year in captivity, a kidnapped child escapes—only to reveal horrific truths that lead her psychologist on a race against time in this thriller from New York Times bestselling author Mike Omer.
When eight-year-old Kathy Stone turns up on the side of the road a year after her abduction, the world awaits her harrowing story. But Kathy doesn’t say a word. Traumatized by her ordeal, she doesn’t speak at all, not even to her own parents.
Child therapist Robin Hart is the only one who’s had success connecting with the girl. Robin has been using play therapy to help Kathy process her memories. But as their work continues, Kathy’s playtime takes a grim turn: a doll stabs another doll, a tiny figurine is chained to a plastic toy couch. All of these horrifying moments, enacted within a Victorian doll house. Every session, another toy dies.
But the most disturbing detail? Kathy seems to be playacting real unsolved murders.
Soon Robin wonders if Kathy not only holds the key to the murders of the past but if she knows something about the murders of the future. Can Robin unlock the secrets in Kathy’s brain and stop a serial killer before he strikes again? Or is Robin’s work with Kathy putting her in the killer’s sights?
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cornholeaddicts · 2 years
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Forgive Yourself
It can be somewhat easier to forgive others before we forgive ourselves. Why is it? Don’t we owe it to ourselves to forgive ourselves? Let’s dive deeper into this topic. Yes, I have a story to tell. 😂
My last job was as an Academic Advisor for a college. One thing that I loved about the job was watching students finishing their degrees and feel confident that they can reach any goal they set. The thing that I disliked about the job was the politics. I felt the school only cared about having students packed in the classrooms instead of making sure students were ready for their careers. There was a time where we had a student that was suffering from a mental delay and could not focus on passing the two classes she was taking. She failed two semesters, and my manager, the Dean of Students Services, wanted me to place her in another major so we can hit our registration number. I had to fight my whole team for them to understand that this student was not going to be successful in a college that can not meet her needs.
When I left, well, when my manager got mad because I placed my two weeks’ notice in and she made me leave early, I felt so bad. I thought I was letting the students down who came to me for advice and a shoulder to lean on. I also thought I was letting my husband down because I was taking a major pay cut. I went to my new job, regretting my decision to leave. I went to therapy, and I cried, “I made a big mistake.” “How so?” my therapist asked. “Because I not only let my students down, I let my husband down.” My therapist looked at me and gave me a kind smile. “Were you happy there?” She asked. I started thinking about the things that I did not care for while I was there. “Not at all,” I said. “Sounds to me like you left to save yourself from being miserable.” She explained. She was right. If I had stayed, I would have been miserable and possibly had a mental breakdown. “You did not let anyone down, ” my therapist said, “You freed yourself from being hurt.” Then she said, “Forgive yourself, Ariel.” After that session, I went home, looked at myself in the mirror, and told myself that I forgive myself.
I said all of that to say this; we need to be kinder to ourselves.
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