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#He’s getting thrown at obi-wan
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Mandalor starts rebuilding early AU and Obi-Wan is in New Sundrai (either for a mission or following the Whitesun-Larses) and has to constantly try and hide from Bo-Katan.
Cue Obi throwing himself behind walls and into boxes to avoid being seen by her.
Bo has a suspicion that he, The Sister Stealing Jedi Whore, is here. But she can never prove it.
It's a 'the restaurant scene in Emporer's New Groove'-esq scene, that goes on for years.
It's peak wlw/mlm hostility.
It's dumb af.
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sukugo · 2 years
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anakin hates being tall bc it means he’s not at “accidentally burying his face in obi-wan’s chest” height
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dokoni-mo · 2 years
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KENOBI FINALE SPOILERS
how long was vader left there after the fight? he didn’t look in any shape to make it back to his ship :( he was so defeated, physically, mentally, and emotionally arghdbhdhd who was there to help him 😭
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THATS WHAT I WAS WONDERING TOO LIKE,, WHO CAME TO HELP HIM?? DID ANYONE HELP HIM OR DID HE HAVE TO HOBBLE BACK THERE ALL BY HIMSELF :((((((((( or like did no one bother to come looking for him and they only did when he requested so :(((
THEY BETTER NOT HAVE MADE HIM WAIT TOO LONG BECAUSE HE WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN ON SO MANY LEVELS 😭😭😭 VADER MY BELOVED IM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT SOMEONE PLS GIVE HIM A HUG AND PATCH HIS WOUNDS
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fanfic-obsessed · 8 months
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Knowing
I have just had the worst, or best, brainwave and I need to share it. 
Here is an AU for you.
Vader thinks that he killed his wife and child, right?
Right up until he meets little Leia Organa when she is 10 years old. Like his one brain cell woke the fuck up when he was confronted with a passionate, angry little girl with Padme’s eyes and his chin. This is maybe a month after she was kidnapped and returned to Alderaan. Leia decides that she would need to learn how to be a senator and insists that Bail takes her with him to the next session of the imperial senate.  
Bail does not want to bring her to the imperial senate. However he knows very well who her birth parents were, it is either Bail brings Leia to the Imperial Senate or Leia brings Leia to the Imperial Senate, probably bringing with her someone she really shouldn’t (Like actual Obi Wan Kenobi-I just want you to picture for a moment, because Bail certainly did, looking up and realizing that Leia is charging down the halls outside his office, dragging with her a bemused and sandy Obi Wan, both in badly conceived disguises).
Bail is super stressed as he tries to run a rebellion while riding herd on his well meaning but very direct 10 year old daughter on top of his normal duties as an imperial senator. Bail is also very afraid that the moment the Emperor sees Leia, he will make the connection between Leia and Padme Amidala (The emperor does not socialize with the senate any longer, thank the stars). He has no idea that Vader was once Anakin Skywalker, so has no cause to be more careful than normal (because Vader) about Vader seeing Leia. As such Bail does not even notice when Vader stops to consider them from the shadows. Leia is haranguing another planet’s senatorial aide who had chosen the wrong moment to make a bigoted joke. 
Vader is very abruptly, though mentally, thrown back to this very hallway 12 years earlier where he watched his wife do the same thing, for the same reason, possibly to this same aide. Though Leia is still a child and Padme was an adult, he can still see his wife in this little girl.
The realization that this is Padme’s child hits him with the force of a Ventanor. Followed immediately, before he even realized that this meant that his child was standing in front of him, by the soul deep knowledge that she must be protected from the Emperor at all costs. 
Vader had known for years that his suit had been designed to cause him more pain, he just thought he deserved it. The thought of Palpatine getting ahold of Padme’s daughter was abhorrent. Vader sticks to the shadows and watches, seeing how well Bail loved and protected Leia. 
While he is thinking(read Obsessing) about his daughter, the part of him that is always centered on Obi Wan points out that his old master had been one of the last people to see Padme after Vader choked her. But the little voice that spoke in Padme’s tones piped up, the shock of Leia living being enough to finally make this little voice loud enough to be heard, saying that until recently Obi Wan believed that Anakin Skywalker was all the way dead, he was protecting their child as best as he knew how. 
And Vader has issues with just about every choice Obi Wan Kenobi ever made. But he will admit that hiding Padme’s daughter was the best option. 
As Vader knows that paying too much attention to Leia would draw the Emperor’s attention, he would be willing to wait until the right moment to get his daughter back. His one concession to his need to protect her was taking one of his personal guard, one of the few units still made up almost entirely of clones, and assigning them to be Leia Organa’s bodyguard, her shadow (I also want you to take a moment to consider what that did for Bail’s stress level).  And then Vader gets to planning. 
With his one brain cell awake and focused on the Organa’s it takes Vader all of 15 minutes to realize that Bail Organa is running the Rebellion (I want it to be clear, this is not a slight on Bail at all, Anakin Skywalker was a war general, well educated through the Jedi on a number of subjects, and does have a fair measure of politics learning from both his former master and his dead wife).  However Vader is no more loyal to the Empire than Anakin was to the Republic.  In fact, upon realizing that Padme’s daughter had lived Vader firmly decided that he needed to find a way to kill Palpatine to crown Leia.  With the realization that Bail, and likely Leia (neither Vader nor Anakin have any idea what activities are appropriate for a 10 year old), are part of the Rebellion, Vader decides that The Rebellion would succeed (or everyone would die trying). 
Note: Vader only really gets away with no one realizing that he now supported the Rebellion because, well, no one can quite believe that Darth Vader supports the Rebellion. Most people think there is a new type of Space Madness, and that one of the symptoms is hallucinating Darth Vader giving you intel for the Rebellion.
By the time Leia was a teenager, rumors abound about the odd way that Vader acted around her. By sheer happenstance (and some judicial violence on Vader’s part) these rumors had never reached the Emperor. A good deal of these rumors implied that Vader was looking to the Princess of Alderaan as a wife.  The reaction Vader had, the only time it was brought up in front of him, was…impressive, even for the amount of violence he normally dealt out. Still there are members of Vader’s personal guard who watch over Leia whenever she is on Imperial Center, and no one wants to repeat the time when she was 12 when one of Bail enemies tried to kidnap her for ransom.  It took an entire corps of engineers to put those levels back to rights (after they scrubbed the blood off).  
So we get all the way up to the timeframe of ANH. The Death Star in this does not start out under the control of Darth Vader. It starts out under the control of Tarkin, it is important to note this. Leia still sends out R2D2 and C3P0 to find Obi Wan Kenobi, none of that part changes. 
It is after Leia is captured that Darth Vader shows up (does he lurk silently in any system that Leia is due to be in as often as he can get away with…why yes, yes he does). Tarkin had wanted Leia tortured, however no one wanted to find out how many decks Vader would spread their entrails across for touching her.  Vader arrives on the bridge just as Tarkin is threatening to blow up Alderaan. Tarkin orders the weapon to begin its charge. 
Leia, Leia who is so like her mother in that she will use every weapon in her arsenal, turns to Darth Vader and speaks to him for the first time. ‘Please’ she said, no effort to hide her distress, ‘please save my planet’
Something Leia had no cause to know-An angel who she resembled once thanked Anakin Skywalker for saving her planet. 
Tarkin is dead almost before she finishes speaking. Vader orders the DS weapons to power down and disengage, which is done post haste. Then announces that Leia Organa was now in control. 
So Leia now owns a Death Star (genuine article-never used). Leia is not sure if that is how this works, but no one is arguing with the tall man in black who has OPINIONS and will enforce them.  Leia manages to communicate this to her parents, who take a shuttle up to the space station to figure out what the fuck is going on, and what, if anything, they need to do next.
Two hours later: Obi Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, R2D2, C3P0, and Chewbacca have just been caught trying to sneak onto the Death Star. The Organas are still on board, trying to get answers (In that time Vader has said precisely five words to them ‘You have raised her well’).  It is to this room that the troopers manning the station (who are deeply confused and a bit conflicted because it seems like they may have all been forcibly defected from the Empire, but no one is willing to disobey Lord Vader) bring Obi Wan and co. and present them to Leia, as she is considered in command.  Somehow Luke’s full name (I kind of picture him still dumbly introducing himself to Leia, followed with ‘we’re here to rescue you’) gets used before the situation deteriorates. Which naturally causes everything to deteriorate further and faster than before.  
Far away on Imperial Center, the Emperor pauses in the middle of a hallway ‘I feel’ he says to no one ‘a disturbance in the Force.’ another pause ‘like some shit has just hit the fan’
Far away on Dagobah Yoda looks up, ‘weird, shit just got’
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pasukiyo · 26 days
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I END WITH YOU
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anakin skywalker x f!jedi!reader word count; 3,988 warnings; unprotected p in v sex, angst summary; you're too good, too noble. anakin doesn't understand why you feel the need to always protect him when he doesn't need saving. when you get hurt, it takes every ounce of willpower within him to not go insane. you don't seem to understand why he's so doting. you thought you had anakin skywalker figured out... ...but you have no idea how he ends.
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 One look was all it took, for Anakin could hear it in the silence. 
 “I need you.”
 Anakin’s lips had already been pressed together, his brow already furrowed, for he was already royally pissed off. It’d been enough to be dragged on this wasteland of a planet by Obi-Wan, it’d been enough that she’d insisted that she should tag along, it’d been enough that absolutely nothing was going according to plan— and seeing her with a blaster wound to the bicep certainly didn’t aid in improving his mood. 
 It was bad enough he had to react like he didn’t care enough, pretend that for a moment, he didn’t fear that she wouldn’t react to move in enough time, that the little ray of blazing scarlet would pierce straight through her heart. It was bad enough that he had to watch her slice the wobbling green light of her saber through the battle droid’s chest all on her own, all the while clutching her arm. 
 It was bad enough watching her being patched up now, having to stare into her eyes that on the surface, seemed to mask her pain. But Anakin knew her better than anyone else— he could see right through that facade she’d so delicately crafted. All he could see now was her desperation, her desire to hold him close, to feel him so deeply like no other could. Anakin had to look away now, for not only was Obi-Wan approaching, but he knew that if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to detach himself from her. 
 “You’ve certainly seen brighter days,” Obi-Wan said as he sauntered into the small alcove of the ship Anakin had accompanied her in. She tore her gaze away from the side of Anakin’s face to instead fixate on the Jedi Master, glancing down at her wound that C-3PO had since covered in Bacta spray. 
 “It’s no bother,” she replied, shrugging and raising her arm, much to 3PO’s dismay as he rocked the upper half of his body back, arms thrown in the air. “No, no! I am not done dressing your wound yet! You must keep it still or else your wound may open again and—“
 “3PO,” Anakin’s bark of the droid’s name permeated the room and all seemed to still for a moment. She blinked at the sound of Anakin’s voice and swallowed down her desire to let it burn like a spark on a rope, trailing all the way down her throat and chest until it reached the frayed edges at the pit of her belly, setting her center ablaze. She shifted where she sat and dropped her head, along with her arm as 3PO— now silent— continued to wrap it. 
 Anakin turned to face his former Master as Obi-Wan eyed him right back, a wrinkle in his brow. Anakin only waited for him to continue, wiping his face clean of any feeling. After another few moments of the already prolonged silence, Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a shoulder into the frame of the door. 
 “Master Windu summons us for a meeting as soon as we get back to the Temple,” Obi-Wan continued. “To discuss all that has transpired today, and such.”
 Anakin sunk his molars down into the slimy flesh of the inside of his cheek, feeling his features harden as he turned away to face the panels on the wall. 
 “Great,” he replied, irritation laced in his tone. Obi-Wan knew Anakin well enough to know when something was weighing on his mind. But Obi-Wan also knew Anakin well enough to know when to not push his boundaries. He respected him enough for that, at least. 
 Obi-Wan sighed as he pushed off the wall, dipping his chin when he glimpsed back over to where she sat, 3PO finishing up the final touches of her bandages. “Rest well,” he said. “You will need your strength.”
 She dipped her chin back to Obi-Wan, grateful for an excuse to avert her gaze. “Thank you,” she replied, and then Obi-Wan was off, brown robes trailing behind him and slowly disappearing behind the door as it slid closed. 
 “There,” 3PO finished her bandages at last. She glanced down at her wrapped arm, already feeling the bacta spray begin to set into the wound, sighing in relief as the pain began to subside. “Please do not move it around too much. Too much movement could lead to—“
 “That’s enough, 3PO,” Anakin, voice still as deep as it was earlier, turned, sharp gaze slicing into the metal of the droid. 3PO turned to face his creator, “but, Master Skywalker, I must insist that she—“
 “I assure you, 3PO, that she will face no further harm,” Anakin interrupted the droid yet again, arms uncrossing and dropping to his sides as he moved to step closer. 3PO, with his stiff arms held in the air, took a step backward, facing his Master. “Now go.”
 3PO’s arms flailed as he turned, waddling his way towards the door. “How rude! A thank you would be nice every once in a while,” she could just make out from the droid before the door slid closed behind him and she bowed her head, picking at the edges of her bandages with her fingernails. 
 “You could be nicer to him, you know,” she murmured, not having realized that Anakin had drawn himself closer, not until the middle and forefinger of his gloved mechanical hand pressed beneath the underside of her chin. Her gaze was forced into his, her bottom lip quivering at the storm raging in the dark hues of his irises. Although she knew Anakin was angry, she could feel a spark set her skin ablaze at the sight of his tightly pressed lips, of his furrowed brow, tight jaw and exploded pupils. 
 She struggled to keep her thighs from closing together to ease the ache in her core. 
 “Why must you insist on getting yourself into situations that always end in you getting hurt?” Anakin snipped and she blinked when the thumb of his gloved hand curled around the curve of her chin, his grip tightening on her jaw. Her breath shuddered as Anakin’s stare dropped to her lips, to her throat, to her collarbone, to her clothes, as if searching for any further sign of injury. 
 Her bottom lip wobbled before she replied, “you can at least acknowledge that I do not always get myself hurt.” 
 Anakin breathed a humorless laugh through his nostrils at this, his jaw ticking as he straightened, dropping his hand from her face altogether to pace the floor. “You’re always putting yourself in front of others, in front of Obi-Wan, in front of me,” he shook his head and she stared at the scar slicing through his right brow to avoid his gaze. “As if we aren’t capable of protecting ourselves.”
 Her quivering lips curled into a scowl at this as he looked anywhere but at her, chest heaving with the effort of keeping his anger at bay. “You’re angry with me for protecting you?” she repeated to confirmed and Anakin glowered her way. “I do not need your protection,” he hissed. “I can do it just fine on my own. Why don’t you look out for yourself every once in a while, you wouldn’t be in here today, hurt.”
 A humorless titter tumbled past his lips and he shook his head again. “Foolish girl,” he muttered, the wrinkle in her brow dimpling. “I do not need you to belittle me, Anakin,” she hissed back. “Do you take me for a fool?”
 Her heart pounded its fists against the inside of her chest— the last thing she wanted now was to argue with him. All she wanted was him, she craved him, needed to feel his arms around her, his fingers in her hair, his skin upon hers. But there, where that desire ached deep in the marrow of her bones, burned fury, white hot anger blitzing through her veins like a comet. 
 Did Anakin underestimate her? After all this time they’d known each other, grown with each other in the temple, learned together, trained together, fought together— did he misconstrue her power? 
 Her need for Anakin could wait— this berating of her dignity could no longer go on. 
 Anakin’s feet pivoted until he faced her, eyes searching her face, fleeting between her sealed lips, her clenched jaw, furrowed brows, heaving chest, sharpened features. He didn’t need to reach out and feel it to know she was upset, and it occurred to him that perhaps in his haze of rage, he’d misspoken. 
 He knew how capable she was, how skilled of a Jedi she was. There was no doubt about it— but what he hated most was how noble she was, how good she was. He hated that because she was too good, she’d spare not a second thought in battle. How it’d make her use herself as a shield to protect others, to protect him. 
 He couldn’t stand it, her need to protect him when his need to protect her blazed just as strong. Anakin couldn’t go on another minute knowing she’d been blasted all because he’d had his back turned, because she’d been quicker to react than him. Had he been paying attention, had he moved faster, he’d have been able to deflect the blaster bolt with his saber, he’d have been the one with the blaster wound instead. 
 His gaze flickered down to the bandages wound on her upper arm and he had to turn away, feeling the bitter taste of bile on the tip of his tongue. 
 “I do not think you are a fool,” he began. “But must you always be so noble?” She blinked, feeling her heart skip a few beats inside her chest. “Putting yourself in the line of danger for others, for me,” he shook his head as he paced to the other side of the room. “I cannot stand it.”
 She straightened her posture where she sat, sucking in a deep breath. “If I infuriate you so much, perhaps it’d serve you well to quit doting on me all of the time,” she snapped back, unflinching even when his glare hardened, firing just like a blaster shot into hers. “You pay attention to me more than you do yourself. Do you know how much I would hate myself if you got hurt because you treat me like I am a child?”
 Anakin stopped pacing, turning to face her once more. Either of his hands rested on his hips, bottom lip wobbling with his temper. 
 “You are not a child,” he replied. “And I am not doting. You misunderstand me.”
 She shook her head, “I think I’ve got you pretty figured out, Anakin Skywalker,” she said with a humorless titter, rising from her seat to march her way towards the door. She couldn’t stand being alone with him anymore, not when she looked at him and didn’t know whether or not she wanted to pounce on him and kiss him until their lips bled or slap her palm across his face. 
 Just before she could make it within reaching distance of the door’s control panel, the glove around his prosthetic hand tight where it wrapped around her uninjured arm, stilling her where she stood. 
 For a moment, neither spoke. She pressed her lips together in a firm, thin line, her breath heavy as it exhaled through her nose. She willed her eyes to fixate on his, the action proving itself difficult, as they wanted nothing more than to drop to his lips. His gaze was so hot, it was blistering, and she swore she could melt in a pool of magma at their feet. 
 “You know where I begin,” Anakin spoke in a low, husky voice. Her bottom lip quivered— damn her soaked center for betraying her so. “But you’ve not even the slightest idea where I end.”
 She blinked up at him, feeling a gate open somewhere inside of her, all her anger and frustration washing away as if with rain. All that remained in the downpour’s wake now was her libido, her desire to kiss him, her need to feel him, her lust for just him. 
 As the silence neared its end, Anakin’s features began to deflate, as if he’d reached out with the Force to feel him. She allowed herself to breathe, seal her eyelids closed, and reach an invisible hand towards him. Sure enough, she could feel him like a whisper on the tips of her fingers, like reaching out to graze her nails on the surface of the ocean. 
 When her eyes fluttered open again, his were closed, but not for long. She watched his eyelashes as they flit upon his cheeks, the veil of his lids sliding away until she was staring into that strange, enigmatic ocean in his gaze, his waters so dark, so blue, so captivating that she allowed herself to dive right in. 
 “Then lead me to your end,” she whispered breathlessly, feeling the gloved hand he’d had wrapped around her upper arm make its trek up the mountain of her shoulder, through the valley between it and her neck, up her throat and across the waterfall of her chin until his palm cupped her cheek. The pad of his thumb soothed over the flesh just beneath her bottom lip, and she shuddered. 
 Anakin sifted through the darkness of her pupils, his gaze so intense that for a moment, she believed he really was reading her mind, searching through the archives of her brain. But really, all he saw was her, as if she were in the limelight. All he could focus on was her, her breathing, her eyes, nose, lips. 
 He was a black hole, a bottomless pit etched into the earth, so dark, she realized that he was right: she wasn’t sure where he ended. 
 And Anakin pulled her right in. 
 They surged into one another like a wave crashing into another, his lips a seal over hers. Their tongues did a waltz inside where their mouths connected, Anakin quickly taking control. She mewled into his mouth as she clutched at his robes, tugging them forward as Anakin backed her into the wall, her back hitting the steel with a thud. 
 She was already so frustrated— yanking on the fabric of his robes, searching for an inch of his skin. His tongue was so strong over hers, his kiss so powerful, her mind was beginning to ooze into goo. Anakin’s hands moved away from her body but their kiss never once broke as he pushed the outer layer of his robes off his shoulders, letting the material pool at their feet. 
 She began unraveling his underclothes like he was a gift and he yanked the leather glove off of his mechanical hand, undoing the cloth belt around her waist with his other. Anakin tossed her belt off to the side, the flowy, outer layer of her top unraveling from her chest and he pushed the material down her shoulders, letting it join his robes on the floor. They pulled away for the briefest of moments, solely so Anakin could lift the tight undershirt away from her body before lifting his own shirt over his head. She pulled him in by the hem of his pants when he was done, tugging them down his thighs as he pulled down hers. 
 Skin. All she could feel was Anakin’s skin and oh, it was the softest thing she swore she’d ever touched before. He was like the richest of velvet, soft and so beautiful, a never-ending avenue for her lust. All she wanted to do all the time was touch him, never let his skin leave hers. 
 A hand snaked around to the nape of his neck to tug on the dark blonde locks there as his kisses broke from her lips to trace a line down her neck, feeling the edges of his teeth against the small curve of her collarbone. Her other hand clawed at the expanse of his back, hissing through her teeth at the pressure of his body against her wound. For a moment, Anakin seemed to realize this, his kisses slowing on her collarbone until she used the grip she had on his hair to draw him into her again. 
 “Don’t stop,” she mewled beside the shell of his ear, only hoping she’d be able to keep herself quiet enough. The notion that Obi-Wan was still on the ship lingered in the back of her mind, but she wasn’t so sure Anakin cared as much as his lips trailed down to the swell of her breast, nipping her between his teeth there. 
 Her head threw itself back against the steel wall, one of her legs lifting and bending to wrap around his. Anakin placed his palms on the backs of her thighs to lift her up, his body the only thing keeping her balanced. 
 “Anakin,” she breathed as he sucked marks into her breasts, teasing the bud of one of her nipples with the tip of his tongue. Through hooded lids, he glanced up at her, his lips never ceasing. She swiped her tongue between her lips for moisture, panting as he sunk his teeth into the flesh on the underside of her breast, sure to leave a mark. “Anakin!” She yelped and he released her skin, the bridge of his nose soothing up the valley between her tits as he kissed her skin.
 “I can’t help it,” he breathed into her chest. “You are like a vice.”
 She mewled again as she bucked her hips into him, feeling his erection beneath her.
 “Please Anakin,” she murmured. “Just need you to be inside. Need to feel you.”
 Anakin muttered a string of curses into her throat as he kissed his way back to her lips, peeling his mouth away from hers to rest his forehead against hers. 
 “Yeah?” He whispered, feeling her nod against his head. Anakin gazed down between her legs, at the glistening folds of her cunt, past it where the angry, pink head of his cock was. There was an ache deep in the pit of his belly for her that even he couldn’t believe he’d deprived himself of relieving for so long. “I need you too.”
 She gasped as he rocked his hips slowly, the tip of his length prodding against the underside of her angry clit. Her arms tightened where they were wrapped around his neck, catching his bottom lip between hers, sucking as he steadied himself into position, clamping her teeth down into the plush, pink flesh when he slid himself in. 
 Only the head of his cock had breached her barrier but she was already crying, hot, fat tears slipping from her eye sockets and rolling down her cheeks. She was so desperate to feel more, to have him as deep inside of her as possible. She could feel her walls clench around him, inviting him further in. Anakin groaned above her, muttering a string of curses against her sweaty hairline as he pushed himself the last few inches in.
 Anakin was so big, so girthy that she felt so full, felt like she hadn’t any room to speak, not even to breathe. She could feel him so deep inside of her where no other had been before, feeling him reach that hardly touched spot so far in her that just the mere graze of his tip against it felt like it seared a bruise.
 “Anak—!” She cried before his lips were on hers again, muffling her sounds. His hips retracted before thrusting back in, his cock hitting her cervix again, making her vision go black and glisten with stars. 
 “I’ve never felt something as wonderful as this,” Anakin panted as he pulled back only to thrust himself back in again. “I could stay in your pussy forever.”
 Her bottom lip wobbled and a mewl ripped from her throat as he clenched her thigh with his prosthetic hand, the other resting on the side of her neck, thumb just above the pulse of her throat. 
 “Let me see you,” Anakin whispered against her ear, pulling away as her eyelids fluttered back open, feeling that blistering stare surge back into hers. 
 But she knew what he meant. 
 She closed her eyes again and Anakin dropped his forehead to hers, his pace at a steady rhythm, his thrusts forceful, significant. She focused on the length of his cock nestled deep inside her warmth, on his warm skin on hers, on his breathing and the beat of his heart. All ceased to exist except for Anakin Skywalker, and she opened her mind to the sole being of her universe. 
 He felt like a breath of fresh air on the brightest day in Naboo, like when they visited their friend Padmé Amidala there and took a stroll through the Lake Country. He felt like the gentle, warm breeze that kissed her cheek. He was as warm as the smile he’d given her when they’d fallen on their backs in the plush, green grass. He was as tender as the words he’d spoken to her when he confessed his love for her. 
 Anakin Skywalker was truly a force like no other. He was power like she’d never felt before, more electrifying than even the rush that wielding her lightsaber gave her. He was stronger than even the feeling of the Force flowing through her veins was because in her eyes, he was her Force, her ground, her earth, her universe. 
 Anakin Skywalker was all that existed. He was all that was ever important. She never cared once for the oath she’d sworn under the Jedi Code when she was with him. She’d leave it all behind, let all her training and hard work go to waste, just so she could have him like this. Anakin was her centerfold, and she, his. 
 She stared at Anakin with a gentleness she’d never seen him in before and through their connection in the Force, he began to glow, like a star in a supernova. When she glanced down at herself, she found she shone the same. They were two stars in the middle of the galaxy reaching their end and she surged into him to brace for impact. 
 “Anakin!” She called his name into the connection and Anakin murmured her name back, feeling him brush against her cheek like the pad of a thumb. “I’m so close,” she mewled breathlessly and Anakin hummed in reply. He was so bright now, they were both so close that it was blinding. “We end together,” Anakin replied, sifting his fingers through her hair. 
 And they did just that. 
 Like a star in a supernova, she exploded and suddenly she was back in that small alcove of the ship, shuddering in the strong, warm arms of Anakin Skywalker. Her legs trembled with the force of her orgasm as it surged through her, her body melting into Anakin’s as thick, hot spurts of his own release flooded into her. 
 Their skin melted together as they both panted, chasing air back into their lungs and coming down from their highs. Using her arms still wrapped around his neck, she drew herself closer into him, nuzzling the side of her face against his chest. She could hear and feel his heartbeat there, matching the tempo of her own. 
 “I burn for you, Anakin,” her voice came out in barely a whisper. “It’s why I protect you— I’d be nothing if I were to lose you.”
 Anakin said nothing for a moment and she took the time to bask in the warmth of the silence, feeling the rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek. 
 “It’s because of how much I burn for you that I care so much about you,” he finally murmured his reply. “Because you are my purpose. I only end with you.”
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a/n; okay six posts in a row, i am on a roll LMAOOO but ummmm... i actually feel proud of this one... i know... crazy 😵‍💫 turns out i write the best whenever i'm sitting in the bathtub LMFAO anyways! i truly hope you all enjoy this one :) i’ve enjoyed writing for anakin a lot these days! i don’t know why i never took the time to write for him before, he’s such a unique and complex character who is so fun to write for!
please consider reblogging or even leaving a reply if you enjoyed! it means the world to me 🥹🫶
TAGLIST;
@your-nanas-house
@chaoticevilbakugo
@k1ttenmittonz
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padawansuggest · 15 days
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Cody: *poking Obi-Wan in the cheek till he wakes up* Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan: *sleepy and confused* What?
Cody: Why is your child in bed with us?
Obi-Wan: *peeks over Cody’s back to see Anakin spooning Cody, and even further back, Reva starfished with one leg thrown over Anakin’s side* Children. They’re both here.
Cody: *growly because being the little spoon gives him cooties* why are they here?
Obi-Wan: Anakin gets cold. Reva is a pack creature.
Cody: I hate this.
Obi-Wan: *cuddles back into Cody’s neck and starting to fall asleep again* It’s okay, it means they trust you.
Cody: …how dare you make me feel this emotion. I’ll kill everyone for this.
Obi-Wan: Okay. Love you.
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ddejavvu · 7 months
Note
I need anakin to bend me in half, my legs over his shoulders with his hands intertwined above my head to hold me in place and rabbit fuck me until he fills me up with his seed and holds me upside so not a drop spills then do it all over again the next morning. and then pulls up my panties, pats my clothed pussy and tells me to go on with my day with all his cum snug inside me🧎‍♀️
keep the anakin thoughts coming please <3 just like he'd keep me comi- [gunshots]
this post is 18+, minors dni.
the part about- the- the part about... patting it. like a little reward. please i'm convulsing i need him so carnally
he spends a fair amount of time in the morning loving on you, because he's been touch/love deprived all his life and he's enamored with the concept of just being with you. But he's like a leech, and more often than not, when he gets his hands on you, he's gonna latch on and suck and take take take take take from you, so having your knees over his shoulders just becomes a regular morning routine for the two of you.
it's really very casual, too. that's not to say it lacks passion, because anakin is passion in human form, and it would be impossible for him to do anything without an underlying current of it running through his veins like scorching oil, fueling his every move. but it's routine, it's usual, it's expected.
all he has to do is tilt his head up, chin pointed towards the bedpost, and you know to wrap your hands around it and hold on for dear life. he doesn't even need to say it anymore, but sometimes a sleep-thickened, groggy 'bedpost' will fill the anticipatory silence that your blearily buzzing bodies exude.
he is a pussy !! eater !! if you're not already slick and wet and begging for his cock from whatever varying degree of foreplay he'd managed in his freshly awake state, he parts your thighs with an easy wedge of his hands and buries his face in your cunt to say good morning. he probably talks to it too, squishing his nose up against the underside of the hood of your clit and offering a murmured 'morning' to your pussy. he likes when it elicits a response, a shudder of your spine, a fluttering clench around the slack ring of his lips, and he's more than happy to tongue-fuck you open in preparation for his cock. he's rutting it against the bed, ignoring the squished discomfort in search of stimulation that you can give him so much better.
he eats you out the same way he kisses you; a confident, probing tongue and a lot of spit. so much, in fact, that you can't tell what of the foamy residue he sucks up and spits back out onto your cunt is your own juices, or his. but it's wet, disgustingly so, and it's enough lubrication to aid in his master plan.
once you're sufficiently wet and ready, he doesn't hold back. he's been grinding against the stiff mattress for too long to take it slow, once the crown of his cock breaches your eager hole he's blacking out and going all in. his hips start at a jackrabbit's pace instantly and don't slow until he's pulling out of you, a relentless rhythm that you're always woefully unprepared for in the early morning.
you always cry out things like 'ah! anakin!' or 'easy- gentle! please, ani' you sob with tears brimming in your sleepy eyes as you grip at his cheeks, trying to tame whatever wild beast has him in its clutches while your cunt sucks him in, 'easy, baby, please.'
you're lucky you can use your hands, too. because he used to restrain them with the force, something that anakin knows obi-wan would be satisfyingly disapproving of if he ever found out. but once you'd learned to keep them around the headboard, you'd been permitted to hold them there yourself, and you can get away with touching his face or clawing at his back. as long as you don't use them to shift your weight somewhere, or touch your clit, or anything that he can handle. your legs burn as he's thrown them over his shoulders but don't move them, he wants them there.
anakin's a voracious kisser, licking your mouth out and providing it with an abundance of saliva and the residue of your own wetness. it's another hole he can fuck, his tongue prodding at the suction of your throat like his dick does to your cunt. he likes making you gag on it, sticking his tongue so far down your throat that you choke. all the while his drool is leaking into your mouth, pooling and swirling obscenely with your own, and making his cock twitch inside of your sloppy cunt.
he's very vocal during sex, but sometimes the morning sleepiness still has its clutches on him, and he's not very verbal. typically, though, he's grunting and groaning at every thrust, his mouth squelching as his tongue slides wetly against your own and his pornographic growls flowing straight down your throat and to your core.
He always holds himself back from cumming until after you have, maybe because he revels in how sensitive you get while he's still pumping his cock into you like you haven't just finished and spasmed around him. he usually spills warm, thick loads of cum into you not long after you work through your own orgasm, the feeling of your climax pushing him to his own.
but he doesn't slump down onto you, he doesn't roll over, he doesn't go fetch a washcloth, no. he slides his strong hands under your hips, one flesh and one durasteel, and lifts your hips off of the mattress, folding your stomach in half and keeping your cunt elevated.
His seed spills obscenely from its clutches but he prods at it with sloppy, haphazard fingers and licks them clean once it's no longer spilling outside of you. he wants it to sink into you, he wants it to take and be trapped in your cunt for the entire day. he knows gravity isn't on his side in that wish, but he dips down to nudge and kiss it between your puffy lips, tasting it on his tongue as he pushes it further into your sex.
when he's satisfied with its placement, he takes your underwear, sliding it over your ankles and hiking it up to your waist. it takes a little maneuvering to secure it under your ass, but once it's there he pats over your now-clothed, still filthy pussy, offering up an appreciative, 'good job, angel'. you can't tell if he's talking to you or your pussy but your brain is simultaneously exhausted and on fire at the same time, so you let him get up and shower for the morning while you recover beneath the bedsheets. when he leaves for his duties he drops a kiss to your lips, much more chaste and quick than it had been before, and tells you to have a good day, pretty girl.'
and that's it.
like he hadn't just fucked you raw and rough into the mattress. like your hands don't have imprints of the bedpost on them.
'have a good day, pretty girl.'
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elcarimercanto · 1 year
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Things that actually happened in Star Wars Pt. 2
A cowboy breaks into the Jedi temple and steals one of their magic cubes
Obi-wan threatens to eat a shark man in prison
Lando wears Han's clothes
Palpatine told his villan origin story to Anakin at a fish opera
Leia gets shot out into space and then superman flies her way back to safety
Force Speed was shown like one time in The Phantom Menace
Fives makes a dick joke to Anakin
Zeb makes a dick joke to Ezra
Hondo almost sold Ahsoka as a sex slave but then gets saved by a circus act of children
Rex has to distract obi wan while Anakin and Padme were sexting
Padme gets Jabba's gay uncle arrested at his strip club for kidnapping his great nephew
Zeb and Kallus end up living together
Anakin and Padme almost make out on a space train until Obi-wan cockblocks them
Anakin tries to feel someone's temperature with a gloved robotic hand.
A clone gets eaten by a space eel(Rip Cutup)
Literally everything in the Umbara arc
Ezra gets milk cartons thrown at him then falls off the flying ship
Count Dooku throws a sand attack at Anakin
The council sent the horniest Jedi to protect the hottest senator
Luke shows up to fight Palpatine with the Chanel boots on like the fashion icon he is.
Luke wears Han's pants to the medal ceremony
Shaak Ti's died at least 4 times
Obi-wan and Girlfriend go for a casual stroll then witness a terrorist attack and a suicide
Link to part 1
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dontbelasagnax · 2 months
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little longer than a drabble tatooine husbands drabble 🫶
"You know what your problem is?" If anyone else said this to Cody, he'd break their arm. However it's Obi-Wan. And he happens to deliver it with adoration and hearts dancing in his eyes. 
"What," Cody says in a drawl drier than the hottest day on this Force-forsaken scorched dustball of a planet. 
"You worry entirely too much, my dear."
Cody looks at him. It's a long look. One that ferments the longer it goes. "Right." 
"Mhm." He sounds so satisfied as he moseys into Cody's personal space that hasn't belonged to only himself in a considerable amount of time. "I believe I have the facilities to ease such a predicament."
Cody lets himself be nudged to lean against their kitchen counter. His hands find the soft woven tunic around Obi-Wan's unbelted waist. He'll allow himself to be distracted for this; if he's correct about where this is going. "You do?"
This close together, the wrinkles of Obi-Wan's face blur. "Yes," he says and warm lips meet Cody's. 
Cody's eyes fall shut. His husband has a gift because, yeah, the soft, insistent press of his body wipes the thoughts from Cody's mind. Easy as anything he gets lost in kiss after kiss. A thumb rubs warm, tantalizing circles just under the hem of his hastily thrown-on top. 
When Obi-Wan pulls away, Cody follows. Whiskers nuzzle his cheek instead. Words spoken are a quiet reassuring balm he would never ask for. "Rooh and the banthas are fine. They've likely wandered to graze." That in itself does not bode well but Obi-Wan continues, "No, the local Tusken tribe won't go back on their word and do anything untoward to the dears. They're more likely to return them to us. Our girls are just fine."
Cody exhales long and slow. He noses in closer as the tension releases from his body. A warm embrace. 
"Okay?" asks Obi-Wan. Both his hands are under Cody's shirt now, rubbing up his back. 
"Yeah." 
He feels Obi-Wan smile against his cheek. "Now then," lips purse and lightly kiss him, "come back to bed. By the time I'm done with you the girls will have returned and the Lars will be expecting us for lunch."
Cody follows Obi-Wan back to their rumpled bed, fighting back a smile. When his back meets the mattress and he has a lapful of Obi-Wan he lets it melt away into the joy of life thrumming through his blood. 
It's not always like this. They have their moods. The days when the past echoes too loud in the quiet of the desert. But he's here. He's alive. His joints ache and his hair is threaded with more grey than black these days. And, against all odds, Obi-Wan's here with his own hands worn with age that fit perfectly in Cody's.
The first sun starts to creep up over the horizon, filtering in through a slatted window, and Cody mind blurs to enjoy their lazy early morning lovemaking.
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The Rules:
Every twenty-four hours there will be another round. After every round, the character in last place will be eliminated.
If there are multiple characters tying for last place, there will be a special elimination round. In these rounds, every character in last place will be eliminated, even if all the characters have tied equally.
When there are only two characters remaining, they will face off against one another in a week-long poll to determine the victor.
If the character that you consider the hottest isn't listed here, hit the 'what about ___???' option and reply to this post with the overlooked character. The character with the highest 'write-in' votes will be added to the next round. Unless the 'what about ___???' option is the least voted for, in which case it will be eliminated. Welcome to the party, Han and Cassian!
This is all for fun. Don't take it too seriously ;)
If anyone heard the faint sound of crashing, screaming, and objects being thrown at a wall, that was just me reacting to Luke Skywalker getting knocked out of the Hottest Star Wars Man poll.
Congratulations to all of the Finn fans, you rallied behind him and saved him from the elimination round, and honestly, he deserves it 🔥 😻
I’m just… going to take some time to process over Luke…
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While I’m doing that, it’s time for Round Three!
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rarepears · 4 months
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Give me an AU where the Winter Soldier is thrown into Star Wars and he latches onto Obi-Wan Kenobi as his handler.
Obi Wan makes the mistake (plus some miscommunication) of telling the Winter Soldier that the mission is to identify and eliminate the Sith in the Senate. But really, that's what he gets for underestimating people who don't have the force and letting Palpatine get some nice private meetings with this oh so interesting person who claims to be from another world. So is it really that surprising to find the Winter Soldier dragging a dead Palpatine with yellow eyes a couple weeks later?
Worse? Winter Soldier has a metal arm. Just a metal arm. An arm that looks very different from the usual Star Wars prosthetics. One could even see it as an exchanged vambrace done in the Mandalorian marriage way...
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mock-arts · 1 year
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Happy approaching new year all! I just wanted to look at all the covers I’d made for Star Wars fics in 2022 all at once lol
links to each beneath the cut!
Crashing Down by @oakwyrm (art)
Marshal Commander Cody of the 7th Sky Corps is, despite his reputation, mortal. When a severe injury threatens his life and his continued ability to function should he recover, protocol states he should be sent back to Kamino. It does not explicitly state that he would likely be decommissioned, but his vode all know how to read between the lines.
General Kenobi’s response is equally predictable.
Careful What You Wish For by @shadowlight17 (art)
Cody was head over heels for his Jedi General, so when Order 66 was executed, he was in emotional turmoil. And then he died. Or so he thought. He said he would give anything to fix this...would it be worth it if fixing it meant leaving everything he knew behind? Thrown into the past, Cody is given that chance. To make things right.
Cody was head over heels for his Jedi General, so when Order 66 was executed, he was in emotional turmoil. And then he died. Or so he thought. He said he would give anything to fix this...would it be worth it if fixing it meant leaving everything he knew behind? Thrown into the past, Cody is given that chance. To make things right.
Cody was head over heels for his Jedi General, so when Order 66 was executed, he was in emotional turmoil. And then he died. Or so he thought. He said he would give anything to fix this...would it be worth it if fixing it meant leaving everything he knew behind? Thrown into the past, Cody is given that chance. To make things right.
Cody was head over heels for his Jedi General, so when Order 66 was executed, he was in emotional turmoil. And then he died. Or so he thought. He said he would give anything to fix this...would it be worth it if fixing it meant leaving everything he knew behind? Thrown into the past, Cody is given that chance. To make things right.
In This Our Liberty — currently unposted, series here.
from ancient grudge (to soap opera television) by @eclipsemidnight (art)
The Jedi and the Sith, in fair Coruscant where we lay our scene...ancestral enemies, whose battles these days are more likely to be to first spend rather than to first blood. This does not amuse the clone security forces who have to break them up, or Chancellor Windu who has to deal with them afterwards.
Meanwhile, Maul and Ventress's marriage is arranged by Sidious and Dooku. Obi-Wan and his friends Ahsoka and Quinlan crash their engagement party. We all know how this is going to end--a wedding, of course! It just takes a few hands, the threat of the Coruscant Guard, and a porg-print towel to get there!
This I Vow by @wanderingjedihistorian (art)
To secure a planet's help for the Republic, Obi-Wan and Cody must get married. Having been quietly together for some time, it is an easy decision for the pair to make. They didn't expect what followed. Nor did anyone else.
Once Upon a Dream by @glimmerglanger (art)
The man was still warm; not warm enough but he obviously hadn’t been dead long. Cody thinned his mouth, looking at the man. He had a fall of copper hair and a beard, scars here and there on his body. He looked like he’d been a fighter, all muscle, trim and--
“Sith’s spit,” he added, cutting over the chatter in his bucket, as his assessment reached the man’s hand, curled, even in death, around a familiar metallic cylinder. “General Tachi, I think he was a Jedi.”
OR, the one where Marshal Commander Cody finds a mystery figure three years into the Clone Wars, and it changes the course of history.
Or Why Comes Thou to Caterhaugh? by Afiregender (art)
In the midst of the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan very abruptly goes on leave to attend a "personal matter" on his homeworld Stewjon. Both Cody and the Jedi find this somewhat odd, and Cody goes on leave himself to investigate. He finds his General at a banquet meant to celebrate the new Fae King... which turns out to be Obi-Wan himself. Or: Tam Lin but Codywan.
Descent by @kutaisi (art) (we’re just getting started on this one!)
As they're fighting in the rain on Kamino, Jango Fett and Obi-Wan Kenobi are thrown forward in time to a version of the galaxy that neither of them could have imagined.
Finding themselves fifteen years in the future, their struggle to get back to their own time is complicated by devasting discoveries and a nightmare of a reality that they have no idea how to navigate through.
...and also by each other.
I also illustrated a bunch of other fic this year, that didn’t necessarily get covers.
Soul Found by @darthtarvera (art)
It had been five years since he’d dreamed of his soulmate. 
Five years since the council broke the bond between them. 
Now, a last test as the council sends Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to Mandalore to protect the Duke of Mandalore and his two daughters. Obi-Wan is determined to prove once and for all he has what it takes to be a good jedi. 
But can even the jedi truly break a bond between a jedi and their soulmate? As Obi-Wan discovers more of the culture and people his mark ties him to he realizes that maybe his path isn't so rigid as he thought.
i don’t wanna feel stuck by @ghostlandtoo (art)
Three years after the war, Obi-Wan has stuck to diplomatic missions from the Order, tired of fighting. When he's burned by the Republic on the tail-end of one such mission, Obi-Wan finds himself stuck on Myam-1, a beach planet in the Outer Rim. Work doesn't stop, even on a vacation planet. Reunited with an old flame and a few old friends, Obi-Wan can't help but help the several people on Myam-1 in need of help, even if he lost his lightsaber a few planets back.
This, too, was a gift by @lttrsfrmlnrrgby (art)
The Rako Hardeen mission was a success, but it left Obi-Wan Kenobi sick at heart after the empathic stresses of the mission, and questioning whether the mission was worth it. The troopers of the 212th welcome him back, wanting nothing more than to assure him he did the right thing, and Obi-Wan works to make their trust in him worth it.
The Force, however, shows Obi-Wan a detailed vision of the future to come. He eliminates the threats posed by the Sith, but feels he cannot return to the Order or to his men, and sets out alone, letting the Force direct him to the grimmest parts of the galaxy and the people who were always overlooked and underserved. 
Marshal Commander Cody takes his general's warning and evacuates Kamino and all of the clones from Republic space. As the Jedi work to recover from the Sith plot and the Republic stalls out on how to move on, the clones settle a new world, try to heal, and look for their missing general. Along the way, apart and together, Cody and Obi-Wan make discoveries that will change their and the galaxy’s future, and learn how to move forward even when things are broken and like nothing they'd planned.
I think that’s it as far as Star Wars fic I’ve illustrated/made covers for goes? (There’s a little bit of punisher/daredevil fic I’ve still been working on illustrating this year but that would be off theme lol)
if you’re a Star Wars fic author I’ve worked with this year and I’ve somehow missed you, let me know and I’ll add a link in! I’ve had an absolute blast collaborating with everyone this year, and I’m looking forward to digging in next year too! ❤️
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mykinkyyandere · 1 year
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Hi! I hope you are doing well! Could I ask you to write about Darth Vader?
It's Anakin
AO3
Pairings: Yandere! Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker X f!Reader
Summary: He's not the person he used to be, but you want to believe that he is.
Warnings: Yandere, obsession, possession, stalking, kidnapping, manipulating
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You felt like you were being followed. The more you plunged into the crowd, the more you felt like you were in danger. You were overwhelmed as if there were hundreds of faces looking at you, and you watched your quick steps give way to running. Anakin Skywalker. The twisted young man who swore to get stronger. He's the man who let the dark side lure him and now he's hunting you. He always dreamed of being with you, and he was a Jedi back then. Obi-Wan didn't try to separate him from you until his attachment to you became a problem. Maybe if Obi-Wan hadn't interfered at all, it would have been different today, who knows?
You hid behind a ship unnoticed by anyone and waited, that was the best you could do. Darkness made it easier for you to hide, or so you hoped. The crowd was noisy and hurried, making it impossible to figure out who was lurking.
"Please let me be wrong, please don't be you." You whispered while holding the necklace Anakin gave you as a gift. He wore it around your neck after he confessed his love for you. You didn't want to throw it away, you always wanted to remember him good.
But witnessing the huge ship being thrown into the air with an incredible force proved that he had no trace of goodness left.
The huge ship flew into the air as if it was a toy piece.
You couldn't believe it so much that your mouth was left open in horror. It seemed like he kept his word to the full extent.
Anakin has become frighteningly powerful.
And it scared the hell out of you.
They had already surrounded you before you tried to escape. And he was in front of you. Even if you couldn't see behind the mask, you knew it was him.
"I told you." He stood where he was.
"You are out of your head."
He took his time by walking slowly. His cape made his look more intimidating in the darkness. You gasped as his towering body closer to you. He wasn't the same person you knew.
"Maybe." He touched your face. "I told you I'd catch you."
You lowered your head, accepting defeat. "What will happen now?"
He didn't say anything for a while. His silence was starting to worry you, so he took his hand off your face and took off his mask. His eyes, his hair, his lips... They were all the same as you remember, but tougher, more threatening.
"You will join me." There was no room for resistance in his tone. His eyes burned with a strange sparkle, he looked at you with those twisted eyes, as if he hadn't just threw an entire ship at the risk of dozens of innocent lives.
You didn't want to show your fear, but he already felt it. If it was going to make you be with him, he would spread fear to the entire galaxy.
"Or..?" He smiled when he heard your hesitant voice. He knew you wanted Anakin, that you missed him sp much, but he wasn't Anakin anymore. Seeing the conflict of this in your eyes made him feel stronger. He was definitely going to use Anakin to keep you.
He came close to your ear and gave his warm breath. "Do you really want to know, my angel?"
Your body was stiffened by his cold-blooded tone, and you tried to send the tears that had placed in your eyes by blinking. "I don't recognize you." you whispered in frustration. "What happened to you?"
Anakin moved his hands around his neck and pulled out the necklace he was hiding. "Nothing, my angel. It's me, your love."
You couldn't hold back the tears as you looked at his necklace in amazement. Then he reached for your necklace and caressed it. "I knew you were keeping it. You could never forget me." He put his mask back on and took your body, which looked like it was about to break, in his arms.
"Anakin."
It came out in the form of a whisper, as if you wanted to make sure that it was indeed him. You tried to make sure that Anakin was the one who took you into his arms.
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obiwanobi · 1 year
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not to add another AU to the list, but... AU where Obi-Wan is a fed-up senator who gets Anakin, Palpatine's adopted son, but more importantly secret Sith apprentice, as his assistant against his will, because Palpatine is trying to teach him about politics, patience and deception.
featuring lots of office shenanigans, Vaderkin dealing with work emails, Obi-Wan wondering why the Chancellor's son looks like he wants to murder him every time he asks him to do the bare minimum and if nepotism will ever end, and Palpatine being surprised that Obi-Wan's corpse hasn't been thrown through a window yet.
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Star Wars Incorrect Quotes as things my husband and I say to each other. (Other people thrown in)
Anakin, working on a speeder- Hand me the drill
Padme- Is that the one that looks like a blaster, and spins, or is that the stick that you twist?
Anakin, in disappointed shock- Didn’t your father own a construction business?
———————————————
Obi-Wan- I can never find my name on any of the gift store keychains
Cody- Yeah, that’s because your mom wanted to be “different” before it was cool
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Rex- Is this the reason you didn’t want to go see the Barbie movie with me?
Anakin, on the other side of the comm with Padmé talking about seeing Oppenheimer together- No, Rex to be honest that was a completely different reason
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Quinlan- You know what I think that may have been my fault
Obi-Wan - Oh is someone finally realizing actions have consequences?
Quinlan, deadpan- Don’t you have an illegitimate child?
(We have yet to confirm or deny if this guy is or is not the father but honey physical genetics are hard to deny)
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*Loud fart noise coming from Anakin’s side of the comm call* Anakin- Sorry I moved the mic too close to my clothes must’ve made a noise
Rex, used to it- I didn’t know cotton could shit itself
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Anakin- My friend once cooked a space raccoon he found on the side of the road. It was pretty kriffen good
Obi-Wan, appalled- What kind of people did your mother let you spend time with?
Anakin- Yea well she didn’t know about this friend
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Padme- You can’t cause any fights I know you don’t like him but it’s the kids birthday. Just keep things civil
Sabe- sure but I can promise you the mug will be meaning
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Anakin- You know I think you could take one thing from this moment
Obi-Wan- That you’re dumber than you look?
Anakin- Okay correction, you can take two things from this moment
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Anakin, madder’n hell- ion know whotha fuck ya think ya are but I’ll tell ya righ nowh I’ll beat yer ass back to Jesus if I’m needin ta
Rex, under his breath- Darn Tootin
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Obi-Wan- None of my relationships have been healthy
Anakin- yeah the older I get the more I realize I’m a victim
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Ahsoka helping Obi-Wan clean Anakin’s room- Shouldn’t we ask him before we do this?
Obi-Wan, full body laughing- Grab the trash bag roll
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Anakin- Would you give me a kidney?
Rex- No I have high-blood pressure because of you.
Anakin- *looking up if that’s a symptom of kidney failure* Yea well you make me sad
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Cody, after Anakin nearly crashed a speeder- You’d think after all these years you’d learn no to get in any type of vehicle with him.
Obi-Wan- I like the thrill of a light pole coming straight for me at breakneck speeds
Anakin- They pop out of nowhere I tell ya
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C3P0- You could be a little supportive
R2-D2- And you could let that get to your head
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padawansuggest · 1 month
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Cody: *pinching the bridge of his nose* General, I /know/ you know how to use a blaster-
Obi-Wan: *guiltily* yes.
Cody: I have even seen you use them in practice with the men-
Obi-Wan: correct.
Cody: And yet. You threw it.
Obi-Wan: …yes.
Cody: …why did you throw it?
Obi-Wan: Well. You see-
Cody: oh god-
Obi-Wan: Palpatine was a Sith. He expected a lot of things from that fight. Maybe he expected to turn my sweet baby Anakin-
Cody: Ew-
Obi-Wan: -on us and use him, maybe he expected me to come at him with a saber, maybe he expected me to shoot him.
Cody: So you didn’t think he’d expect you to throw a blaster. You couldn’t have even chosen a granade?
Obi-Wan: Listen. He could have thrown one back at us. The force said throw the blaster and grab my sweet baby Padawan out of dodge and let Fox knife him. It worked!
Cody: Force give me patience so I don’t strangle my ven’riduur-
Obi-Wan: *perks up* So we’re still engaged?
Cody: You aren’t getting rid of me that fast, dikut.
368 notes · View notes