#I can’t just fucking live and exist for myself because I fucking hate and cannot stand the person I am

[xx-slug-xx]

It’s not safe for minors to enter adult spaces in an attempt to “out pedos”. Shits way too dangerous for them.

//tw- grooming and mild vent ig

Back in the 2010s, I decided it was a good idea to “troll” the pedos of DA. I made up a fake persona who, while still older than me at the time in order to make myself feel safer, was still a minor. I was 14, the persona was 16-17. I was groomed because of my piss poor decisions, but didn’t realize it because I thought it was funny. It wasn’t until when I became an adult that I realized it. People knew I was a minor, even if my exact age was a lie. I still engaged in nsfw role play, I still had grown adults tell me that they fantasized about me. Even if I was making fun of them, I was still groomed and I still participated because it made me feel like I was special. I was groomed by so many people whose names I cannot remember and whose accounts no longer exist, all as a hobby where I could laugh at people.

I don’t like seeing kids repeat the mistakes I made when I was a kid. Even if the exact reasoning is different, it still boils down to minors entering adult spaces and engaging with adults to try and get them to do something sexual with them because they think it’s fun. I never got any sexual gratification from what I was doing, I just thought it was funny to get these people to be “weird and cringe” (as 14 year old me would say).

It doesn’t matter what the reason for entering an adult space is, even if minors are doing it to put horrible people in their place. Minors should not be putting themselves in dangerous positions like this.

I want to add that it was not my fault for being groomed. It is never the victims fault for what happened to them. It shouldn’t matter if they are “looking for trouble” or not. Nobody should be at risk, and it’s the adults in their lives who failed to equip them with the safety precautions they needed and their abusers who chose to hurt them. Adults on the internet know better, minors do not. However, internet safety needs to be pushed so that things like this don’t happen to others. I don’t think that minors are brain dead or anything of the sort. I knew what I was doing when I was 14, just not to the full extent. I didn’t realize how much my decisions affected me until I was well past that stage in my life. Minors are able to think for themselves, if they choose to engage with people to bait them into doing or saying something sexual, they are at fault to some extent as well. Both parties are to blame, but shaming minors and telling them that they can’t possibly know what they are doing is the wrong way to go about things. They aren’t the ones we should condemn though, it’s the people who thought that it would be ok to groom them.

Minors entering adult spaces in order to make call outs is a trend, and an awful one at that. As much as I hate pedophiles who actively think it’s ok to groom minors, it’s not safe for these people to be trying to get themselves proof that someone is a pedophile themselves. It fucks you up and you won’t even realize it.

#tw grooming mention #tw minor vent #proship #profic #anti anti #profiction #anti censorship #anti harassment #fandom discourse #comship

[nansheonearth]

I’m sorry if this is an intense thing to ask here but you have reach that I just don’t get on my blog and I’m scared to even pose this question because I feel like there will be a lot of judgment potentially hence the anon…

As a woman in a situation that feels extremely hopeless (basically housewife with no income of my own, 4 pets which makes a lot of housing less accessible not that any of it would be more affordable than the shithole we live in now, mental health struggles/ ASD making employment feel impossible to maintain at full time level) how the fuck do I actually manage to get out of my marriage 🥲 like any and all advice would be welcomed but absolutely don’t want to give up my pets as they’ve basically been all I hold on for. I’m married to a TIM (I bought into trans stuff for a while and considered myself non-binary for years, I’m desisted now) who excuses all their issues with mental health and trauma and has become honestly emotionally abusive and neglects any of my needs. At this point the only reason I am still here is because I cannot fathom any way I could afford to live on my own… I have no friends, my family is abusive so can’t rely on any help there, and I’m terrified that if I left I’d lose my pets and end up on the streets… I feel like in my head the only option is something I did before and absolutely fucking hated and don’t want to go back into because it’s absolutely shameful and brings up so much trauma I have which is cam SW but any time I’ve managed to get a job I cannot maintain enough hours to afford to survive alone, even full time with minimum wage here being $15 I would barely be scraping by and have no extra income beyond absolute necessities. I’ve tried looking for remote work but almost nothing is an option due to not having a degree or any specific skills, I’ve only worked in fast food and low skill care professions that emotionally ruined me. I feel hopeless and like I’m just stuck in a dead end where at best I get a day of good and then weeks of neglect or at the worse times fully emotional abuse, I truly have no clue what to do and I’m feeling like I’d rather just not exist than deal with any of this any longer… I’m just hoping to find ANY resources or advice on how to manage pulling myself out of this place and I’m at a point that I’m so desperate that I’m out here messaging people I don’t even actually know because I have NOBODY in my life who can offer any guidance or help 🥲 again I’m sorry if this is a lot and I know you personally probably don’t have any answer for this I’m just hoping that someone with some reach and access to others in a community who might understand might have any advice for me 😞

Hey I'm sorry you're going through this. I was in an abusive relationship for years and I understand leaving seems impossible while you're in the situation. But you can leave and there is hope.

I would suggest starting by looking into domestic violence support groups first. They can usually later point you to other resources like job placement, mental health care, financial assistance, legal advice, and housing. Be adamant about wanting to keep your pets because many will try to get you to give them up in this situation.

Hopefully people see this and can add more advice. You're not the only woman to have abuse by a transwoman partner and reaching out to other survivors could help.

#radfem #spousal abuse #transwomen #transwomen violence #male violence #male #anon #ask #reply #o

[willedeservesbetter]

Hi! I just saw that you didn't like Season 3 and I was wondering if you could elaborate on that? Personally, I thought it was a bit rushed but overall I did rather enjoy it. Though I guess it also really depends on how the last episode goes, they have a pretty high chance of messing it up.

Hi, well, that is a very loaded question and I could give a very looooooong answer, but I will spare you. I always liked about YR that there was a balance. I always understood where everyone is coming from, and while I was aware that Lisa is very much anti-monarchy, she still wrote a very compelling and complex character with Kristina for instance. And yet in S3 she has a mental breakdown because her son is queer and they are shown as the worst parents in existence, because monarchy equals bad. I just have a hard time understanding this decision and I think it cheapens Kristina's character a lot.

Season 3 was not subtle and very much a “I hate the monarchy and I will let you know why”-message. Personally, while Wille definitely also crossed lines in S3, I find the fandom way too harsh on him and I honestly hate what they did to Simon. Simon put his Instagram account above his boyfriend! I just can’t with this storyline, especially when the chances are very high the series will end with Wille giving it all up. The Royal Court was actually right he should have stayed off Social Media for a bit and yet it was treated like Simon had to sign over his life. I also dislike that they only received negative comments, because apparently the entire country of Sweden is homophobic now, but only got positive feedback when he posted the song. It was just too much on the nose and Lisa didn’t even bother trying to show everything in life, there are always two sides.

I really don’t understand how the series can end with them being together, because they are living in two different worlds, and clearly, they are also not capable of talking because it also was not shown how Wille and Simon actually act as a couple without making out or arguing about the monarchy.

Finally, I have to say all the takes I have seen about Wille either giving it all up, the monarchy crumbling or August taking over: I hate every single one of them. A monarchy cannot be abolished easily, the amount of work and time it needs, it would mean YEARS. August becoming CP, who posted a sex video of two queer teenager is so fucked up, how is this even a popular theory? And Wille giving it all up? WTF is with this fandom that this is so popular? Of course, I want to see an incredible traditional organization like the monarchy adapting and accepting Wille. I am way too pragmatic for my own good, Wille giving it all up would a) lead to so much hate especially against Simon, because people WOULD blame him; and b) every single conservative person in the world would use Wille stepping down as a prime example why queer people cannot be in powerful positions. Plus, we are still talking about Willes parents and family, of course I don’t want him to give it up for a relationship he currently has that by all accounts really will not last, because this season truly failed to show me why they last. Because I can only repeat myself, Simon could not even give up Instagram, but Wille in order to be “free” can uproot his entire life? Sorry, I really am not a fan. I will happily live in a very selective FF-land for the upcoming future when it comes to Wille, Simon and them as a couple.

#young royals #yr season 3 #my opinion #not a popular one for sure

[crowwritesaway]

Thomas Shelby Best Friend XX

Anything. I could handle anything. But this…this, I-I can’t. Why? Why now? I mean, she’s not a saint but neither am I.

She looked inside through the window. She glanced around. Nurses rushing out of one room to another. One or two doctors walking into rooms.

She inhaled and exhaled. She needed answers. She had to get answers.

She walked up to Lucas. “Why didn’t you call me? Why did I have to find out through Jade, huh?” Zoey snapped. She balled up her fists.

“Look at yourself. This is why I didn’t tell you.” Lucas said, pointing at her.

“What happened?” Zoey asked, glancing at her mom. She looked so small and fragile.

“She found out.” Lucas said, gritting his teeth. “Found out about what…me?” Zoey whispered in disbelief. She ran a hand through her long hair.

“Fuck sake.” Zoey said, licking her lips. “How?” She asked Lucas, turning away from their mom and looking at Lucas.

“That nosy neighbor of ours, little Miss Patricia.” Lucas said, glaring as he reminisced

“What..what they told her about, me?“ Zoey hesitantly said, sighing.

“S-she told her about Jade.” Lucas said, bitting his lip.

“As in…” Zoey said, hinting about their relationship.

Lucas nodded, glancing back at his mum.

Zoey frowned. How did she find out? Who told her?

She clenched her jaw and told her twin, “I’ll stay away. Take care of her. Her laying on this hospital bed is loud and clear about what she thinks about what Jade’s and I relationship. Let me know if she wants to see me.”

Her twin watched her. She looked conflicted. Mum needs to accept her. She must. I don’t know how she’ll handle this.

Zoey took one last glance at her mum and felt her anger clash with her sadness. Why must she think like them? Why must she judge me based off who I love? She’s gonna hate me. She’s gonna belittle me, again and again.

Zoey walked out we mums room. She felt the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Flashback

Zoey was siting on the couch. Out of nowhere, her mum tells her, “Zoey, don’t become a lesbian. Anyone else can be and live their truth but you. You cannot. You are my daughter and will not be.

Zoey was mine and nodded. Why? Why is it wrong?

Flashback (Zoey’s 14 yrs old)

Zoey glanced at Jade. She looked away. I can’t help but feel. I have to find a way to stop this crush.

Zoey tapped her pencil on the desk. She gritted her teeth. Why is it so hard? Maybe I can just pretend?

Zoey nodded to herself. Yes, ignoring these feelings will be as if they don’t exist.

Zoey sighed. I can’t let her down. I can’t be someone she hate and reject. I don’t think I can handle her hating me.

Flashback (Zoey’s 16 years old)

Zoey accepted she’s different. She leaned that Jade liked her. She happened to overhear a conversation between Jade and her best friend, Sally.

“Shh…you can’t tell Zoey that I like her. I don’t want her to think I’m weird..” She recalled Jade whisper loudly to her friend when she walked into the restroom.

They froze when they saw Zoey. Zoey ignored them. Zoey went into a stall and smiled to herself. Maybe I’m not the only one.

Zoey bitterly laughed once she heard them left. How can I be myself when I know the world and my mum will turn their backs on me or hurt me for being different?

Zoey shook her head. Why should I allow them to push me around? Why should I let society bully me? I’ll hide this from everyone, but not because I fear them but what can happen after?

Zoey clicked her tongue. I’m no lesbian. I simply like a person. I can love a person. There should be no rule to love a person. If both are consenting individuals then love will thrive. Gender should not be an issue.

Zoey got out of the stall. Do I tell my twin? Do I tell the Shelby’s. Ugh.

Zoey inhaled and exhaled

Present

Zoey walked out the hospital. She cleared her throat. She looked around. She felt out of place.

She didn’t know where to go. I can’t to Tommy. I can’t go to John.

Zoey was walking down the street as these thoughts ran in her head. Beep! A car honked beside her. Zoey kept walking, ignoring the honk. Who honks at someone in the middle of the night? Certainly not someone with good intentions?

Zoey rubbed her eyes. She felt stuck. She hated her upbringing. She hated feeling cornered. Why must I hide? Why? Why? Just why? It seems everything that I am causes pain and hurts those around me. Am I in the wrong?

She leaned against a building. What’s another night without sleep? These memories are gonna be the end of me. She pulled out a cigarette and for a moment, contemplated smoking. She shook her head, as memories of the war began to creep in her mind.

You’re okay. You safe. It’s not your fault. She bitterly smiled as she thought about those in her unit who didn’t make it. She angrily crumbled up the cigarette. I don’t deserve to feel at peace.

I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve fought better. I should’ve…ugh. It’s should’ve been me. If only the world was kind to those who are different. If only my mother was less strict and more supportive.

Stay around for more of Thomas Shelby Best Friend

#thomas shelby x reader #john shelby x oc #john shelby #michael gray #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby x oc #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #polly gray #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x oc #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders x y/n #thomas shelby angst #Thomas Shelby x plus size reader #john shelby x y/n #grace shelby

[folklauerate]

I think I might be the worst fic writer in the world bc I do not know how to add my fics to collections (other then the Employed Tom Dorset one I quite literally moderate) to increase readership and more to that matter I don’t give a single flying fuck about readership or “engagement” or “how a fic performs” anymore 😭 caring about that is a TRAP and it takes away from actual enjoyment of creating something out of love and for the sake of creating it and because the idea keeps you up in the middle of the night and finds you on long drives and won’t go away until you put pen to paper and the cursor on the page and write it down. Writing to try and please the audience you cannot see and who doesn’t exist and is a figment of your imagination is a surefire way to make you hate yourself when something doesn’t “do” the way you think it will and damn we need to move away from language around “performance” when it comes to fanfiction entirely. Fanfiction exists outside the capitalist economy, it is one of the true joyful beautiful wonderful acts of creating just to create that cannot be monetized and that’s so damn important to me.

At the end of the day I am quite literally only ever really writing for myself. I write what I want how I want when I want and hit post. I have opinions on my own writing and think some wips are shittier than others because I wrote them fast and dirty and didn’t give a flying fuck about editing or whatever, I just wanted it out and done. It’s nice when my friends read it and care, I like having the opinions of people whose work I respect as well. It’s always flattering when other people I don’t know read it and strangers leave comments or people send anons and DMs. It’s an absolute mind fuck to think people are discussing words I wrote amongst themselves and not involving me but it’s gratifying to hear because the work did what it was supposed to do; it was scraped out of a part of me and put out into the world and became whatever it needed to become for the person reading it, and that’s cool but also I can’t think about that without it getting overwhelming a little bit, I can’t.

All that to say… fuck a fic collection I “should” be putting works in and fuck a “time” to post and fuck “engagement” and fuck it all to hell. I write to soothe the gremlin inside me who lives under a bridge like a troll in a fairytale and I’m really better for it 😭

#fanfiction #just some thoughts I had while perusing a fic #I was like #damn baby what collections could this work possibly be in #this fic is so new #what collections? #and I knew it wasn’t written for a week or something #so then I clicked and I spiraled a little and pulled myself back #outside approval is always nice but it cannot be the axis upon which your fanfiction writing turns #it must always be the wine pairing to an already full meal

[sarcastic-salem]

So before I say anything else I want to specify that

I am transgender but I have decided to stop taking hormones.

I don’t know right now if this decision is permanent or not. What I do know is that I thought I would be happier being on HRT. And I’m not. I’m not happier and I’m disappointed with the results, which for me have been minuscule.

I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells in the transmasculine community. At least with the people I’ve encountered. Because my definition of masculinity has evolved a lot, but it seems like a lot of trans men are very eager to conform to the heteronormative societal norms that define “traditional” masculinity. Whether its toxic or not, and just never speak of it again.

I can’t do that — I can’t make myself be someone I’m not. And, for me, its resulted in a lot of bullying and misogyny. I mean, I know there are other reasons but I feel like me being more feminine than other guys constitutes a lot of it.

Feminine men are treated like scapegoats in the transgender and queer community. “Masculine” men see us as the root of all evil — we’re the cause of all the homophobia and infantilizing. And TERFs see us as easy targets either for bullying or to be converted into their cults.

On top of that, I no longer believe in gender roles and I just can’t do it anymore. It feels like even mens’ clothing is designed to make a statement and to portray machismo.

I do not want to make a statement. I don’t want to be told that I’m brave for wearing floral prints or the color pink. I don’t want to have to justify my every move down to the clothes in my closet.

I am always going to spread awareness about Civil Rights, and I am always going to remind people that Loki is a queer, transgender God.

But I’m tired, I’m stressed out — I’m losing my fucking hair.

I just want to exist.

Right now, I identify as nonbinary specifically agender or pangender. I don’t think I am particularly masculine or feminine. I’m just me.

I am still transgender, but being a transgender bisexual Heathen does not mean that I have answers to every queer Heathens’ problems or that I know the solution to every Civil Rights issue or whatever.

One of the reasons the @lokisbookworm account got shut down is because, aside from getting hate mail and death threats for nearly 4 years, I was starting to feel like an unpaid therapist. I want you guys, my followers, to feel like you can come to me for anything because I love helping people and making people happy. I really do.

But I cannot tell you if you are transgender or not. That is not up to me to decide — that is for you to decide.

And I cannot tell you if the crow in your front yard or the joker card you found in a library book is a sign from Loki or Odin or whoever. I don’t speak for them, okay, and whether or not I think something is a sign is not a valid reason to just skip discernment. And assume the best or the worst.

Never skip discernment.

This account was created by accident. Technically. I had another one and because I have no idea how to navigate this app aside from the simplest shit like reblogging and making a post, that other account got shut down when I was trying to delete a side blog. But the reason this blog exists is because I am trying to be a genuinely better person and I want to try to have a positive impact.

I’m not perfect and I have fucked up a lot. You guys have no idea how much of a piece of shit I feel like every day. For being narrow minded and argumentative and accusatory. Its embarrassing but its also disappointing because like…….I try to explain and people don’t want to hear it. To an extent, I don’t blame them — actions speak louder than words, right?

But this is the fucking internet and I’m not the kind of person who documents every single second of my life with a live post or a selfie. So what do I do? I try not to argue with people. If there’s a post I disagree with, I usually back the fuck off. Unless I’m triggered and being stupid because I don’t think rationally when I’m triggered. And if someone posts things regularly that I disagree with or that upset me, I unfollow them to avoid getting into arguments.

I do fuck up, I know. Part of the reason why that is because I cannot comprehend why people are acting like Tumblr is not a social media platform. When that’s exactly what it is. I cannot understand why people are so offended when you comment or reply to their posts. Especially when they’re able to turn off the replies and the reblogs.

Like the entire concept of Tumblr etiquette is expecting people to censor themselves in a public forum.

Jfc, this post has gone off-topic but um……Yeah, I’m nonbinary and transgender. Still queer. But right now, I am going off of my hormones and I don’t know what comes next.

I am still Milo.

I don’t give a shit about pronouns. People have misgendered me so much irl, I don’t even care anymore.

Happy Yule

&

Blessed Holidays

#loki #lokean #loki deity #norse god loki #god loki #heathenry #norse pantheon #norse loki #norse paganism #paganism #lgbt pagans #lgbt #queer #transgender #transgender community #ftm transgender #ftm trans #mtf transgender #trans men #trans women #nonbinary #enbies #pangender #toxic masculinity #hrt #nonbinary hrt #comic out #social media #mental healthcare #mens mental health

[scarsmood]

may i ask why you support endogenic systems? genuinely curious on your thoughts on it.

Tldr; they’re cool. Idm. The rest of this devolves into me bursting into flames. So popcorn is recommended.

They fuck, putting on my little shit glasses. Here’s what I can say diagnostic criteria as someone with diagnosed DID is kinda fucking awful. Our system for people with mental illnesses isn’t comprehensive, it isn’t all knowing, we also don’t account for so much shit it’s scary.

I have so many endogenic friends. I can’t give a fuck. Their existence doesn’t effect mine. Language is a different story something I see a lot. My only ask is that an endogenic system doesnt claim they fully understand a DID system which ive seen in syscourse. That’s just not gonna happen similar to lived experiences issues. Their different experiences and thats fine.

I think tolerance is a better word for me. Because i am system aggressive and it doesnt discriminate. You put me near other systems because of previous abuse from other traumagenic systems im prone to lash out. I just can’t conntect well like I used to.

So i tolerate all of you. Equally. I don’t see a reason to discriminate. I’ve seen some abuse on both ends and don’t think its a systematic issue rather a individuals are assholes problem.

Honestly? Seems more like a huge distraction to have a little war this way to distract from the rampant abuse all systems face. We should all agree its bullshit theres no accommodations, systems aren’t prevalent in academics yet. Thats a bigger issue. If you wanna spend time helping people with say DID or accomodations related to their plurality id take a dip into academic papers and see how bad it really is.

Let’s set the stage and remind ourselves.

In 2010 it was okay to force integrate systems

In the early 2000’s and 90’s endogenics and traumagenic systems didnt have much of any significant voice in medical settings. Typically treated as schitzophrenia for BOTH.

In the 1980’s it was okay and normal to overdose a paitent with DID and kill them. Then claim it was an alter.

When i see people fight over endogenic systems. I want to scream st them thats not the point. When I was being told by my first therapist to be very careful as a 14 year old because its a very real fear i will be experimented on without my consent.

I wonder why the FUCK endogenics are even on peoples radar. When I do intensive EMDR for years that cost me thousands of dollars out of pocket. I work fulltime jobs JUST to go to therapy.

This blog is my fun haha blog where I go to disconnect. Tomorrow im waking up at 7am to drive for intensive therapy getting myself in debt and picking up new meds for my DID.

Nothing about plurality is even remotely safe yet. Not safe enough to bicker about why endos should stay in their lane. We have a common enemy. Endogenic systems have so much information to. They know how to communicate without dissociation. I envy thag because DID costs me past 7k its a car at this point. Probably more.

Why would i not support someone whose got their shit figured out? I respect the hell out of that. I just don’t see why their an issue. Not when I have to listen to my disability officer tell me im not disabled enough. I have to argue with someone dipshit that my pain isn’t farfetched and I will experience very real consequences without accommodations.

I love playing the victim though. Traumagenic systems are noteably more unstable than endogenic systems. We are literally disordered. Im system aggressive because i cannot stand to see functionality in other systems. Ive watched traumagenic systems tear into endogenics, raid their spaces and spew hate in the name of ???

Happens on both sides. Like i said but its easier to pretend were the victims. Im just very tired of going through therapy, life, and social interactions at a disadvantage. Endogenic systems remind me theres people like me who are a little different who maybe arent as fucked. I think thats cool. Because its hard for me to tell if im gonna make it or not. I like the inspiration.

You caught me at a bad time anon ask me again after im done with some of the hardest choices ive had to make in my life

#rant #tw

[zebbyscoot]

Zebby’s Spideypool Playlist Analysis #1

🌹Hi hello hey! Since I got a couple people who showed interest in my playlist analysis series of posts I thought I’d test drive a format!! Today, I’m going to be easing us into this analysis stuff with a fun song that’s pretty easy to explain my thought process on: Livin’ La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin!🌹

🚫🕸~(Fair warning, this is a LONG post)~🕸🚫

(Cover image drawn by my dear dear friend citrus_wall_paint on Instagram <3)

https://open.spotify.com/track/0Ph6L4l8dYUuXFmb71Ajnd?si=Pfjv1x70R_WeXlC_i3jQqA

The vibe

🎉So first off, general vibes! This is a super fun song, I personally always find myself listening to it like 6 times in a row every time I put it on. It also has a super playful, almost flirtatious edge to it, more of the Deadpool and Spider-Man side of the relationship than Wade and Peter, more of a dangerous dance than something more sweet and domestic like a couple of the other songs on this playlist.🎉

POV character (who’s singing?): 🚫Deadpool🚫

🎆So, this might be an unpopular opinion because whenever I bring this song up in reference to Spideypool, everyone thinks I imagine the “her” in the song as Deadpool, since he’s so eccentric and has a tendency to do completely bonkers stuff. But, I’m here to make the case that Spidey actually makes more sense, and that Deadpool is the one who’s “singing”, as it were. This song makes me imagine Dp chasing Spidey across the city, led on this wild goose chase trying to catch him. And Spidey’s loving it. You honestly cannot convince me Peter never enjoyed Deadpool’s obsession with Spider-Man, including the opportunity to tease the poor bastard mercilessly.🎆

♥️One of the themes I really like to play with regarding Spideypool is that it’s just two guys teaching each other how to live again. Wade specifically is usually characterized as this absolute nihilist; he can’t die, so nothing really matters anymore. There’s no thrill to what he’s doing. Nothing new in his life. Just an unkillable mercenary that everybody fuckin hates. This is the song that plays the night Spider-Man gives him a taste of what life really feels like again, and makes him all the more determined to know the man behind the vigilante mask. A new question to answer. A new reason to live.♥️

🏳️‍🌈Wow. That was gay. Anyway!🏳️‍🌈

Lines from the song that remind me of the two sillies (and explanations!)

- “She’s into superstitions / black cats and voodoo dolls.” (this part honestly just reminds me of Felicia, but this whole song is kind of her jam too. It makes me think that she gave Peter the idea to do something stupid with Deadpool. I love her)

- “She’s got a new addiction / for every day and night.” (The “addiction” here I imagine as being “a new weird thing about Spider-Man that Wade has to unravel (hehe) in order to get closer.” Spidey’s full of surprises)

- “She’ll make you live her crazy life, but she’ll take away your pain / like a bullet to your brain.” (First of all haha funny Deadpool guns bullet shooty shooty I think we all made that connection. But this line is actually super sweet. Yeah, trying to get close to Spider-Man probably fucking sucks! He’s a stubborn little asshole who almost exclusively works alone and would love to stay like that, not to mention his ✨trauma✨ of people he’s emotionally close to catching a bad case of gunshot wound or broken spine. So, yeah, spider bestie isn’t an easy thing to obtain. But once you get it? That man will LITERALLY take a bullet for you. Several. There is NOTHING he won’t do for you once he starts really caring about you (as several “I’m gonna stop being Spider-Man cause I have a gf” storylines prove). He IS gonna try to take away that pain. Because Peter Parker is the best human in existence thank you)

- “Upside, inside out / she’s livin la Vida Loca / she’ll push and pull you down / livin la Vida Loca” (this lil bit just kinda reminds me of Spidey in general. The “upside, inside out” moment sounds pretty disorienting, much like if a certain spandex clad hero was flipping and thwipping around to mess with you. And “push and pull you down”? That’s a webshooter thing if I’ve ever heard one! I just really enjoy the mental image of Peter dragging Wade around by a web. Very cute)

🌸That kinda wraps up my general thoughts! I put this amount of thought into every minute of this 3+ hour playlist, and I’m really excited to share it all with the internet void! Please let me know your thoughts, and if you’re interested in another deep dive! Thank you so much for reading to the end (●´ω｀●)🌸

#txt #txt post #long post #wade wilson #deadpool #peter parker #spiderman #marvel #not a shitpost #music analysis #music #ship playlist #playlist #please read #do not let this flop #not above asking for reblogs #spideypool #spiderpool #spider man #Spider-Man and Deadpool #they’re gay your honor #listen to my playlist I’m literally begging #music post #zebby’s playlist analysis #they’re in love <3 #marvel comics #please tell me somebody read this #i’m so normal #silly guys

[fuckedinthebrainforever]

You know whats crazy for most of my life ive been really unwell the time i lost to it that ill never get back. I let myself get so bad but maybe they can get so good for the first time in over a decade i want to try and heal because this pain is unbearable everyday im literally being tortured id rather be dead than live another day like this so i chose to give this a real try and put me first and take care of me because i didn’t deserve all that pain i did nothing wrong apart from keeping myself in the loop of in and out of months long admissions for years and years and nearly dying so many times lucky to be alive you know its crazy to think that but im here so maybe there is a reason for me to be here.life and mental health has been rough really really rough and yes recently I’ve actually wanted to try get better its not linear and it will not be easy and idk if i will even be able to do it but why not try i can’t suffer and exist i need to grow heal thrive live be free happy healthy mentally like everyone else no body deserves this kind of pain life is curel in so many ways and it ain’t easy but if you have good support loved ones it just helps that little bit and its just baby steps nothing massive or that will be too much but i cant keep putting myself through this pain i cannot let my mental illnesses control me and life completely i cannot give up i need to get me back not be the illnesses because that’s fucked up but you know recovery is too its one of the hardest things ever but i am better in some ways not mentally but i have a job moved out with boyfriend i go to therapy now after refusing it for so long i gained alot of weight i go to gym but i still suffer immensely in my brain and no body understands and i hate that i feel it all eating me up i just want to be mentally healthy like i have gotten worse mentally since all this stuff because im vulnerable and alot of shit has happened but i just want this pain to stop i want it to go away i just dont wanna be around but man i couldnt do that to my loved ones i want to so so bad but if i lost them i wouldnt be around but i dont wanan live like this so its time its really time to heal ive been through hell and so much fucked up shit but im here still after it all i need to try for once and keep going and worst case i just go back to old ways but why not try its so confilcting because i want to get better for all my loved ones but i also dont and hate myself and my life I literally need to rewire my brain it will be so hard but man i hope its worth it i hope that i dont end up worse than i am mentally i hope things fall into place i Hope this time it works idk if i can even do it but i need to most my life wasted to this. I didn’t choose what happened to me in my life so why do i have to suffer

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 17

Finally, the De Lacey exposition is done with, and we're down to brass tacks. Let's greet our next plot point, the Distressing Damsel! Or at least the hypothesis of her.

“with whom I can live in the interchange of those sympathies necessary for my being” – what a convoluted way to describe The Horny™. And yes, that is exactly what he’s after. For all he talks about human company and whatnots, there’s no way to read this without a sexual connotation.

“one as deformed and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me” – worse yet, it is about sexual entitlement. The Creature is a fucking incel, his argument being “if she’s ugly as well, she has to put up with me.” I can’t begin to count the ways in which I hate him. Oh, wait, I already have.

“but you shall never make me base in my own eyes” – pfffft. Victor? You’re still not base in your own eyes? Alright then. DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 13

“instead of threatening, I am content to reason with you” -.- just like his dad, the Creature wants a price for basic decency. “Hey, I’m not threatening to kill you rn! Cookie pls!”

“the human senses are insurmountable barriers for our union” – huh, this reads like DAS GAY: 24

And seeing as it’s still Victor he’s talking to, it also gets INCEST VIBES: 11

(And if you think this point is invalid, consider that he asks the man he calls his father to make him a bride, in the same way he was made – that would be his sister.)

“What I ask of you is reasonable and moderate; I demand a creature of another sex, but as hideous as myself; the gratification is small, but it is all I can receive, and it shall content me.” So, not only would he curse another to the same wretched life he lives, he also has the nerve to preemptively look down on her for not being as beautiful as human women. Can he get any worse of an incel?

LOL, of course there are no people in South America. None.

How would the two of them even cross the ocean?

“How inconstant are your feelings!” LMAO. The Creature of all people complaining about this…

Interesting how he has gone from craving sympathy simply as normal human interaction to being owed sympathy in form of The Horny™. And by interesting, I mean fuck this.

“quit Europe forever” = “depart from the company of men” Because only Europeans are actual people. *nods* Sounds about right.

“by the fire of love that burns my heart” – what, you mean the constant assumption of purely transactional relationships, the blackmailing, the entitlement? That is love now? Or is it The Horny™ and you looking forward to the relief of it?

“And also, I’mma stalk you while you work on this.” Heh, there’s a habit formed.

Pretty pretty landscapes to give a background to Victor’s self-pity. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 16

If you want out of the deal, just kill yourself already. Yeesh.

And then he, once again, can’t be arsed to talk to his family about shit. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 17

At least reassure them that you didn’t get robbed and raped in the mountains??

“Yet even thus I loved them to adoration” but not enough to tell them wtf is going on, of course.

Wondering if anyone ever set up a psychological profile of Victor Frankenstein. Like, ADHD, narcissist personality disorder, and so on. Therapy whomst? Dunno her.

Honestly? I don't think the Creature's reasons for wanting to make the Distressing Damsel are one iota better than Victor's reasons for creating him. Yeah, the queer interpretation of Victor making him as a sexual partner is half-joking on my part since I cannot fully verify it on the text, but the point stands: The Creature values his desire for company and actually someone he holds power over more than the well-being of this hypothetical new creature, cursing her into existence when his own life of the same sort is fucking miserable.

That isn't better or more sympathetic than Victor creating him for the sake of his own glory - or to have someone he holds power over, because he was thrilled by the thought of someone being subservient to him due to owing their existence to him, just as the Creature is thrilled by the thought of a helpless, confused and incredibly miserable woman being at his beck and call. If the point of Frankenstein is that the Creature is a tragic character I'm supposed to feel for - too bad; I hate this guy. He's exactly the same kind of asshole that Victor is.

#Frankenstein #personal opinions #disclaimer: this is just for shits and giggles

[emathevampire]

happy pride to team chaotic good.

to my ace lesbian centaur living her best life being a good person out of spite

and to my queer elf squad, the gay librarian, the bi necromancer, and the pan ship captain, still striving for their happy ending

to the ship captain’s aroace queerplatonic lifelong partner in crime

to my intersex elf faendys and their drow paladin girlfriend

to their ally, the assassin helping them all to keep fighting the good fight.

to the Dykes With Spikes, the punk gang my genderfluid changeling fey chaos dragon made with their lesbian cactus and venus flytrap besties.

to my gay tieflings, my confused kids, my trans huntress of artemis, my lovesick demigods, my ace kings, all the countless queers I’ve made and the occasional token straights who love them.

also, to team morally questionable.

the asexual polyamorous succubus who swings both ways, violently, with a sword.

and to her collection of confused chewtoys boys, ravenloft’s sluttiest wood elf and an ex-demon learning how to love.

but especially to my prince in horns and his blackguard. who will probably get their own post, because my feelings absolutely cannot be summed up in so few words.

if you had told me as a kid that i would have turned out this way, to contain these multitudes, i would never have believed you. i repressed these parts of myself for so long, swore they didn’t exist, out of fear. but it turns out my friends love them, actually. and that there’s more people who will love them, more people like them, and like me, than there are people who hate them.

some of them are loud. others not. i myself am pretty quiet, living where i do, it’s not safe to be myself… so the world i wrote them into… reflects that. they fight. they will never give up. i do the same.

i can’t really say it’s a happy pride, where i am. at least not in reality. but i have to believe that someday it will be. for all of us. not just the fictional ones.

happy fucking pride. but not to me.

#rixa's rants #having some complicated fucking feelings. im angry. and tired.

[dumuzithemessiah]

Blood of zillions of innocent lives are on the hands of humanity

All over the universe…. Not just non advanced lives but advance species as well have suffered and died because of the lies and hate that humanity has spread damaging the Kosmos causing it to spread shockwaves that damaged other planets….planets with life…. Advanced species are species like humans on advanced level and many higher as they realise hate is no way to be…..

You humans continued the war your evil elf ancestors started…. There are good elves that left with the gods and goddesses and became immortal but the evil elves remained and most died over the years and spread lies along with their leader the Fell Goddess Ishtayr who is literally the Universe’s most wanted criminal! She wants the Kosmos destroyed! If the Kosmos aka the heart and soul of the universe blows up so does the Universe and so does your planet, humans!

You humans made yourselves a threat by being egotistical, deceitful, vicious, violent, warlike, and delusional! You continued to spread lies which have damaged the Kosmos! Humans spread evil energy by worshipping man made religions! Evil energy damages the Kosmos! That is why it spreads shockwaves as a warning!

You made yourselves a threat and it’s fucked up that it took I, Dumuzi, the literally real Messiah aka Hero of Rainbows - to tell you humans what you’re doing is so wrong and so evil that you should be ashamed of yourselves!

On J-Day you’ll see that your actions have consequences! I hoped I could’ve saved some lives by speaking the truth but I guess I couldn’t save any human due to how delusional and narcissistic humans are… I only allowed myself to go undercover and blend in with humans because I thought maybe some humans were good but no….

Barely any humans will be allowed to reincarnate because of their own selfish ego and foolishness…

Try to imagine how hard it is for me as on my home planet I am loved and idolised but on Earth people hate me for who I am and don’t understand me at all… I can’t even have an opinion on things like colours I like without receiving hate…. I find it hard to be able to move everyday and live as the pressure and what I have to do in the future is so hard..

Plus it’s not just humans as Ishtayr is my number one enemy, plus her minions aka the last two evil elves Earl and Aeva and the reptilian alien race that sided with them wanting the Kosmos to be destroyed.

Like I said if the Kosmos is destroyed so would the Universe and you should be smart enough to realise that means Earth blows up with it! Magical beings and magical planets can escape but non magical species and planets could not such destruction…

My kind and I are only trying to prevent a massive catastrophe in order to protect those lives who cannot protect themselves against a massive threat that wants all non magical lives dead!

So I hope you humans will surrender when times comes as it’ll be easier on both sides as my kind doesn’t like the fact an entire species has to go extinct to save the Universe… If you surrender at least you might be granted the ability to reincarnate and reincarnation is better then not existing at all…

No one likes to be the bearer of bad news….not even my kind aka the gods and goddesses…

We are from Nibiru which is real and is larger then Jupiter and we can make the planet invisible and intangible… Which is same with the Lumarian Sky Islands which exist in the Dragon’s Triangle, Bermuda Triangle, Pacific Ocean, and one above Germany… Luma means moon in my language as the islands have moon in them…

The only thing I look forward to on J-Day is finally being with my family and friends aka the beings who care and love me and accept me for who I am… I also look forward to finally being myself again… Well that and seeing my husband again who is Marduk mind you humans..

The battle with Ishtayr I do not look forward to such.. she is the reincarnation of The Great Evil from Universe 1 aka the original long gone first universe as the Kosmos regenerates after so long.. when it does that causes a big bang… Ishtayr and I fought long ago and are the worst of enemies…

Do not take the Sumerian Texts as fact as the stories are already long butchered up far from the truth…. Ereshkigal’s wife is Nergael who is female! Ninsar and Viridi are male! Same with Ninsun!

My species can breed with the same gender as the child comes out in a light…

No one is heterosexual on Nibiru as we’re all homosexual and rarely bisexual on our surreal fantasy like homeplanet of Nibiru!

#Truth #warning #it’s hard #no one likes to be the beared of bad news #Not even gods/goddesses #Dumuzi