#I don't actually know the difference tbh

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[fridayyy-13th]

(making a new post for this tag game bc the post was already super long, hope that's okay lol)

when you see this, post 5 songs you actually listen to and tag 10 of your favorite followers/mutuals!! i was tagged by @kazs-scheming-face; thanks for tagging me! :)

Aurora Borealis - Lemon Demon

Out of My League - Fitz and the Tantrums

Killer Queen - Queen

Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance

The Steeple - Halestorm

Tags (no pressure of course): @emptymilk-bottle @rrril3yyy @pandamime @wwwaaalllllp @iammycharacter @its-your-mind @phantom-crows @starchiving @yaiyogsothoth @j0espo0ky

#tag game #five songs does Not give an accurate representation of my music taste #...as if anything could tbh; i don't even know how to describe my music taste #i listen to a Lot Of Different Stuff #but uh yeah! never actually started a new tag game post before; i usually just rb and add onto the one i was tagged in #but it was a reeeeeaaaaalllllyy long post already

[genericpuff]

And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.

I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.

Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!

Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.

But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?

Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.

The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.

The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.

Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.

I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.

As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.

But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.

And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.

If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.

It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".

So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.

Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.

But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.

Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.

We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.

Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?

#also ok i know this turned into a philosophical post but like #i'm still just talking about fucking anime #so please for the love of god i don't want to be seeing anyone using this post as a way to play devil's advocate on real actual war crimes #human conflict in and of itself is an enigmatic inevitability but blatant actions of genocide and colonization are not #and that was made VERY clear by the end of the series through eldians and marlayans putting aside their differences to take out eren #also ymir being in love with king fritz was a bit of a weird thing to do but that's for another post #i think it spoke more to her just being that desperate for connection that she fell into an abusive relationship #but idk it could have been executed better esp because a lot of the 'romance' in AoT is weird #still i really enjoyed the finale tbh and i don't think we're supposed to be left feeling strictly one way about it #the fact that we're arguing over whether or not the finale was good is literally just proving isayama right ngl LOL #attack on titan #attack on titan finale #attack on titan spoilers #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin finale #shingeki no kyojin spoilers #essay post #long post #tw genocide #tw war

[its-a-beautful-day]

Wednesday - Antonio the Anteater

Hmmm these ants are suspiciouly cranberry flavored 🤔🐜

#star's art #my art #artist on tumblr #my photo #beanie babies #beanie baby #stars photos #beaniebabytober #Antonio the Anteater #anteater #Plushie #Stuffed animal #toy photography #Mushroom picnic #I don't have rasins okay only crasins and tbh I think that's very based #Also do you know how hard it is to get actual ants to stay in an area long enough to photograph #I managed to get three on the table and boom gone #I have some tiny spiders I might see if I can turn into ants for some different angles cause I really like how cute this is

[de7ieee4]

#I thought of making my own actual Sonadow comic based on Sonic Boom with chapters and stuff #that'll take some time tho the first pages might only be finished next year #If I plan on not colouring the panels it might come out earlier but idk #i don't even know why Sonic Boom tbh but I feel like there isn't enough out #this post shows the cover of the 1st chapter #each chapter gets different covers #how many chapters?..haven't decided yet #Sonadow #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic boom #sonic comics

[punkstylerecovery]

One of my major (minor) brain issues is that my brain lies to me. Sometimes its easy to ignore, especially since it's generally obvious, but when I don't have something else to concentrate on or I'm really anxious, its like trying to ignore a fire alarm going off when you're sitting right beside it. Impossible, at least for me.

See, its one thing to ignore my brain saying "you're an evil person" when I'm in the middle of a book. Its another to ignore my brain claiming I didn't lock the bathroom door (and someone Will come in) when I'm in the shower. But its quite another thing to ignore my brain screaming someone is in my bedroom and they're going to kill me when its the dead of night and I'm trying to sleep.

You might think the logical solution would be to look around my bedroom, put the fears to rest, and go to sleep. But no. You see, my brain wants me to look. But it also never believes I've looked properly.

I can look around and five seconds later, my brain will ask, 'but are you sure you looked right? Look again. If you missed something, you're going to die!" Sometimes I can't remember if I looked or not. Perhaps I did miss something. It doesn't matter. My brain wouldn't be satisfied if I slept with my eyes open (which is what it tries to convince me I will do if I want to stay alive).

Its always something I've struggled with, some times more than others. Its not always as extreme as "you're going to die", but its always extreme in some way, whether its the panic or the amount of times I check something to shut my brain up. And its ridiculous, because its not like I don't know my brain is a liar. Its not like I don't know it likes to fuck with me.

But I also don't really know what else to do. Its not like people go around offering advice for things like that; its not a common dinner conversation. Its not even a common experience, apparently. Some people's brains don't lie to them all the time and they don't have a million panic attacks trying to go to sleep because their brain isn't telling them they're about to die.

I don't know what the fuck I'd advise people like that. Sleep tight, maybe. But I wish there was some kind of guidebook for people with brains like mine. I'm getting kinda tired of winging it.

#punkstyle #trauma recovery #Sleeping #actually mentally ill #I'm not even sure what to tag this tbh #actually psychotic #?? I do have issues with psychosis #but this seems different honestly #like. #I don't know how to explain it exactly #anxiety #living with ptsd #but I've had it for way longer than I've had ptsd?? #this specific issue I mean #and it feels like more than just anxiety #I'm nor trying to minimize anxiety but #it feels like more than just that #nhainjanij I feel ridiculous even talking about it ngl #hope this makes sense #disability #Neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #?? Just shoving those in #maybe those tags'll have a clue what I mean #who knows #ok to reblog

[raiiny-bay]

my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

#ts4 #simblr #once again i don't know how to tag this so... #i'm just gonna use the same tags i used last year ig #2023 was apparently the year of the monster boyz #only 3 of these are not mb posts & i'm ok with that actually #ik i've said it a million times already but #i had soooo much fun doing mb stuff this year! #i'm really excited about all the stuff i have planned for the AU tbh #like. i have a list #i'm hoping................... to get the origin stories done at some point. #probably gonna do some writing here soon ish. #i've gotta make all of the side characters still & finish the character page so idk. i'll figure it out. i have a lot of ideas #i really wanna start sharing more about the story & the boys' actual personalities so that's probably what i'll focus on this next year #edit-wise i mean. like doing lore edits & stuff. idk #making cricket's was really fun so i think i'll like making stuff for everyone else too #i just have to not try to do a whole story bc then i'll lose interest. it'll be like the degenerates all over again lmao #idk why i just hate making story posts #lore posts are fine but story posts? mm no. not for me. idk how but they are different in my brain ok #n e way #i rambled. sorry. bye lol

[enhanced-operatives-division]

i would love to hear about the ollie and handler crack ship here’s a silly doodle as well

LOVE THE DOODLE YOU SEE THE VISION!!!

Also this got my ass to design Ollie so:

(Love him - Also redesigned Reggie for this too so thanks!!)

And idk if it's moreso a crackship or a rarepair that only works in an AU (HACKS up Starstruck), but Reggie's line of "...and I hope Ollie made it out too. I hope a lot of things." It's totally me reading into it but like,,,,I want them to talk because Ollie is not dead to me in my heart of hearts.

Maybe the only change is like Reggie taps into the communication on the radio in Hot Water instead of using the earpiece, so Ollie ends up hearing him also? And they end up getting along really well (with Reggie having to jump through a couple hoops to be like "haha what agency..."). There's an Agency base in the South-East coast of Australia and maybe the Agency ends up adopting him after he washes up on the shore with the escape pod (after HEAVY questioning).

Alas take a doodle of my own:

Transcript (it's just canon lines):

Ollie: "She's being controlled, it's not her fault."

Reggie: "Agent, I have 0 experience dealing with giant security squids."

#idk i know realistically JJ and Reggie will probably never interact so like this is the one I can root for right? #<- ollie is probably still at the bottom of the ocean #alas. i think they could be silly together. because like. idk. they have the same vibe to me #i feel like they would have a GREAT TIME at a barbeque actually #i digress #in terms of the art though!!! Ollie!!!!!!!!n #I've never drawn dreads before shdjdkf i had to redraw the hair on that first one genuinely about 6 times #idk it came from like. if he's been underwater for a long time dread would prolly be somewhat convinent in terms of hairstyles #also we don't talk abt how ollie probably knew fabby because it's implied she was working down there???? #tbh she probably hated himshsjekdld he would be clueless #and uhhhh back on my I can't draw reginald crane in a way im happy with ever. an example ahdkdlf #I've liked exactly 1 drawing of him I've ever done i think i need to do a completely different design over just the little tweaks here idk #anyways ty for the ask sorry it took so long to answer you can see why lmao #it was fun though!!! like i say it got my ass to draw ollie finally and i do like his design #ieytd #i expect you to die #[agent moose's art] #reginald crane #ollie ieytd #oh ship name ummmm #hm #earpiece??? uhhhhhhh radio signal???? idk #leavung it for now im so bad at naming things

[carefulfears]

Explain what you said on Twitter

assuming that you're talking about when i said that imo the conversations around "scully, you're making this personal" aren't aligned with the intent/impact of the scene (actually i think what i said was that the scene is very serious but y'all never talk about what's serious about it so you loop back around to being unserious) and tbh i can do a post on my own feelings about the scene sometime when i'm feeling more with it if y'all want but i just meant that people bitch about that line every single day talking about how it's hypocritical and how infuriating it is and how much you hate mulder in s6 etc etc but i literally never see anyone even think about like...the actual meaning of the scene and implications of the line and the context and where they're each coming from. it's all just a very shallow and reactionary discussion in my experience

(i ended up talking more in the tags lol i never shut up in the tags)

#interesting to watch byers' reaction in that scene tbh. considering he's the one who said he 'always wondered' why mulder and diana split up #he very much has a look of 'don't go there' when scully keeps pushing it #as pointed out in randomfoggytiger's analysis of the scene which is linked on their page #this obv isn't shade to anyone who's talked about the scene lol #asks #scully LOATHESSS diana lol and has literally every reason and more #i just think the convos around that scene are missing the biggest emotional aspect (scully's violation in relation to diana's participation #to like.....focus on a totally different angle and blow it up #when i say that the scene IS very serious but never in the way discussed #i mean that it's very much about scully begging to be heard and kind of quietly betraying how much her own exploitation impacts her #how much it IS personal #and it's also kind of a last ditch effort to try to get the person she loves out of this abusive/manipulative situation using evidence #and he IS listening to her (he goes from there to check diana's apartment and tells diana he has doubts about her. which he didnt before) #but she doesn't know that bc she just hears 'scully you're reaching' 'scully you're making this personal' #my interpretation of the line is that he's talking about her criticism of diana. which we know she's been vocal about from her #'you KNOW what i think THAT woman is' in the previous episode #i think he's taking it as input on HIS personal life and what he does with HIS relationships and HIS ex (wife) (lol) #but what makes the scene serious and kind of haunting is that that actually is not what she's talking about at all #she's talking about the chip in her neck. she's talking about her dead daughter. her dead sister. HIS dead sister. the dead MUFON women. #all things that she KNOWS diana is involved with. but she can't MAKE him see that or believe her #(even though he does take in her input moving forward) #they're just not on the same page for once and they're not talking about the same thing #like it's a very deep and very very difficult conversation because it's so convoluted in abuse and power structures and trauma #but my main thought on it is that like...i never see anyone think about the implications or even the aspect of scully's personal history #all anyone ever says all the time is like omg of course it's personal to her i hate him for this men are so stupid #NO ONE EVER EVEN REMEMBERS WHAT THE SCENE WAS ABOUT #and ofc people are allowed their jokes and not every post on every scene is gonna go into how people think about it or how they interpret i #it's just always a very shallow conversation surrounding a very important scene which bothers me! that's all

[thatdemiboymess]

Drew some bees for a friend of my aunt - he wants a friendly and cartoony bee with a honeycomb and a drop of honey for a candy he's selling, apparently! :33

#irl #my art #bumblebee #bees #its my first time trying to draw a bee tbh #they're very cute and i especially like their funky little beaks where their proboscis comes out #i kinda doubt he's gonna decide to use my art tho tbh but i think they're cute so I'm posting them here anyways #i haven't drawn anything in a while either so this was kinda nice to do even if it was also a bit frustrating #then again the reason it was frustrating was cause my aunt is acting as our in-between and her friend seems to have a very specific idea of #what exactly it is that he wants and not talking to him directly to figure that out is kinda not working #I also think he got a bit confused on the difference between horizontal and vertical because I drew the horizontal one first #and part of his feedback was that he wanted it horizontal and in flying motion so??? #anyways it's not like he's paying me so if the second one isn't what he's looking for I'm calling it quits #my aunt did actually offer to pay me for it but I don't wanna take any money from her since she's not the client - it feels wrong #she's just trying to do a friend a favor by introducing him to an artist ya know??? #...also low-key don't feel like this (my art) is worth actual real world money so ehhhh... #ANYWAYS!!! Look!!! Cute bees!!! #EDIT I have been offered like $30 but it is still on the table kinda since I'm not willing to make anymore changes asdfghjkll #$30....for bee??? Little bee drawing??? May have to delete/take this down if indeed $30 for little bee drawing...

[threadmonster]

Do you ever think about how if a person got into a series/fandom after peak popularity they totally missed out? Not in a bad way, I just think getting to experience and participate in the explosion of a fandom is a totally fun and insane thing that might only happen to a person once. It's not just "a fandom" it's when the fandom of a series you totally love and resonate with happens.

#{domino talks} #this is 100% about haikyuu btw 😂 #LOOK my life would definitely different if i hadn't gotten into hq just before s2 #and i was at a con in a hq panel that was like 'shit all these people are totally younger than me' #and before i continue I AM NOT JUDGING OR CITICIZNG ANYONE I PROMISE #i could tell they all only watched the dub because they said 'date' tech like the english word whatever that's just how i could tell #and that's just what had me thinking about this #i have not watched watched the dub just heard some clips and just knowing the english language i personally feel like #watch the dub if that's your thing! dub is not bad! i probably would have watched this dubbed if it had existed back then tbh #BUT i think you wpuld probably miss out on the full spectrum of emotion because the english language is really... more bland #than so many languages actually it kinda sucks #and more than that the fandom explosion was before the dub released (i think) like no one talked about the dub #i only knew it had been announced (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠) #uhhh so anyway feel free to ignore the nostalgic old man (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) #i just don't think i will personally experience that again and *haikyuu* is hard to beat in it's irl effects

[reel-fear]

people who still make Joey the ink demon despite canon steering far away from that being the case this is for you I am sending u kisses XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3

People who make Joey well-meaning, sympathetic, a lighter shade of morally grey than canon I am also sending u lots of love <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3!!

And people who generally steer wildly from the direction Bendy takes with its characters and has fun with it I hope to see more from all of ur aus and rewrites!!

#ramblez #batim #batdr #this is not me saying aus that don't do this r bad blah blah I just personally have a super soft spot for Joey being the ink demon #since I really like the idea storywise the symbolism of Joey becoming the ultimate monster of this story #joeys who also take a very sympathetic role who are more morally grey than canon also hold a special place in my heart #joeys who think what theyre doing is right not just for them but for their staff who genuinely care abt them who love them mwah #I just love to see very unique takes on these characters I kinda miss when it was only like chapter 2 so everyone had this wildly #different but very unique and fun takes on where we thought the story would head hell for a while we didn't know if Joey was evil or not #thats what spawned Encore it was originally just a collection of theories I thought would come true #esp since I dont think bendy is a particularly well written story its fun to see the fandom have such fun wild ideas on where to take #the concepts and idea presented in bendy that never really panned out into anything interesting or were discarded or retconned #yknow? I miss the days where the aus were wildly out of sync with the actual story when all we had was a few names a few tapes #and we all went wild making our versions of the story and characters and then got so attached to them we doubled down #when canon didnt deliver on em #umm oops this is long have a great new year folks! Get wild get weird with ur bendy aus and rewrites #lets have fun this year and take canon as optional bc lets face it Bendy isn't great but man is it fun and I care abt that way more than #the quality of the story tbh #it had great ideas and executed them uh badly! But idc bc I can stir those great ideas in my head all day and see others do the same <3 #anyways yeah thats it love ya guys have a great 2024 <3

[enbysiriusblack]

i bet you think about me is so regulily fr

#like.. specifically thinking about a famous singer!lily au where her and regulus used to date #but he broke up with her as she got more popular as his family found out about it and he was too scared about getting disowned and stuff #so he listened to his parents and broke up with her and mentally tried to make himself distanced so he would actually be able to do it #and then lily writes the song about him #i mean tbh it also works with just. usual them. like them dating in school but his parents make him bw a deatheater #so he breaks up with her before even telling her about it because he knows she'd break up with him as soon as he does #like. “you grew up in a silver spoon gated community.. i was raised on a farm. no it wasn't a mansion.” #“reality crept it. you said we're too different” #“i don't have to be a shrink to know you'll never be happy. and i bet you think about me.” #“oh block it all out. the voices so loud saying why did you let her go?” #“chasing make believe status. last time you felt free was when none of that shit mattered cause you were with me.” #“it turns out im harder to forget than i was to leave. yeah i bet you think about me.” #SO THEM FR FR #I PROMISE YOU ALL!!! #marauders era #marauders #regulily #lily evans #regulus black

[dark-falz]

And here's the new PSO inspired magic circle I wrote! (that's tailored to specifics that I'm not getting into) As well as the traditional Algolian seal (I've broken down a bit of it here) and the first magic circle I built

I'M GETTING MUCH QUICKER AT THIS!

I drew every symbol instead this time, I find it to be the one thing easier to draw on tablet than paper, I think I'll go back to the other method next time tho it looks neater.

Ok into a bit on how its wrote/the magic building for those curious :3

So I went over a bit on it yesterday but here's the full circle that there was no way I was fitting in that tiny space.

Magic Circles are now the thing I study when I'm having my after work drink at the bar ^^;

The 3 outer circles (I keep referring to as Muut Ditts Poumn circles) while they all hold the main energies, they're all lions :3 The alchemy symbols for essence pokes out of them and toward the middle text. Leo as well as the 2 Divine beings, each associated with the Sun and the Moon. In the outer ring, where the Photon Blasts would be listed, I have other Gods that represent different phases of the Sun and the Moon, Moon Gods being separated by the female end of the ankh, as the moon is of feminine mother energy against the masculine father energy of Leo's ruler, the Sun. Sun gods border the rising & moon signs of the initiator. I probably put a bit more time into the order of the names in the ring, but PSO isn't actually conjuring magic outside our hearts and is allowed to be whatever about that.

I'd also only use the Ankh with Egyptian Gods as I only work with them aside from "celestial bodies". There is more detail on the significance of the ankh in the first post. The reason its positioned sideways is I learned horizontal lines can be a negative aspect, where as vertical lines are always positive. I still have a horizontal line in this, but with it being only one, the numerology plays in to it enough, I also didn't HAVE to add it but felt it necessary. The magic numbers are 1 and 7.

The Divine are placed in their directions in accordance to the element. Sun to the South for Fire, Moon to the West for Water. Leo is placed east due to the affinitive candle color. East represents air which is the main element of the target.

The alchemical symbols I used aren't all available text symbols, but here's what's there. (I've used so many reference books for these and they don't match each other either it just is what it is I guess)

Top Circle: (Symbols unavailable) Triangle: ♀ Planet - Venus | Metals - ♀ Copper, Brass | Zodiacs - Libra, Taurus Sides: Symbols for crystal and lapis lazuli (Divine specific) Bottom Circle: (Symbols unavailable) Triangle: ♂ Planet - Mars | Metal - ♂ Iron, Brass | Zodiacs - Aries, Scorpio Sides: ☾ Moon | Metal - ☾ Silver | Zodiac - Cancer Steel - Saturn | Metals - ♄ Lead, ♂ Iron, Steel | Zodiacs - Capricorn, Aquarius (steel is Divine specific) Right Circle: (symbols unavailable) Sides: Planet - Sun | Metals - ⊙ Gold, Brass | Zodiac - Leo

I was also able to place the alchemy symbols a bit neater this time because I didn't have odd numbers of them like in the Algolian Seal spell. The circles with the points in the outer circles represent wax, there is also a wick symbol in each of them as well as different things to dress the candles with such as oil, herbs, and fumes.

Sorry its not quite as in depth as the Algolian Seal inspired one, since its more religious sided I figured I'd skip the deeper details. Hope it was a fun read and it helps if u wanna build magic circles one day or something :3

#i'm just glad pso is what got me to learn how to write this shit #so this circle goes on papyrus and hopefully I get to do the spell during the new moon friday #tbh i wanted it on my phone so i could use it as a reference while I sit outside and draw it sorry for being selfish this time #pso magic #actually I might have fucked up again lmao #I was suppose to put the time and date I wrote this and the time and date I perform it in the outer ring #but...that's really hard for me to translate I think... #cause the divine beings I used.... #one already counts as the new moon hmm shit what you get is close enough guys #also I want u guys to know i have so much anxiety over using the wrong angle/angel #like ik the difference spelling them but i don't always pay attention and I can use both in the same paragraph sometimes like i'm sorry #magic

[alchemiclee]

every time someone dislikes a character I consider autistic because they seem highly autistic coded, especially if it's "for no reason/just a feeling" I get so incredibly sad and offended because I just know it's because they have autistic traits. I know these people would do the same to me and other irl autistic people. and that's always such a shitty reason to dislike/hate someone.

I just know they would hate us autistic for "no reason" and it would be because people for some reason dislike autistic people based on some obscure random feeling and they can't even tell you why. they often see us as "broken neurotypicals" or we give them that "uncanny valley robot" feeling (especially for high masking autistic people) or whatever it is. they often think we appear "normal" in every way, except something is "off" to them, they they dislike and bully us for it. it's not our fault we were born with these traits/disability so it's not fair to hate us for it!

at least that's how it always seems to go for me and everyone autistic person i've personally know. especially ones better at masking. (I personally was never good at masking and was seen as a "weird freak" who deserves bullying no matter what I did, especially since i was unable to talk 95% of the time as a kid) the mask still never truly hides that "off feeling" people get. i'm sure other autistic people experience this too, but people always dislike me or even hate me and usually can't ever seem to give me a reason. friends will suddenly turn on me and not give me a reason. (especially if we always had text based communication online and then we meet irl the first time. they suddenly turn on or abandon me after that). if I can get a reason out of someone, it's always because *insert random autistic trait here* so I assume it's the same with every case

if this happens irl, it has to be the same for fictional characters, right? it's the only explanation I can think of. I see stuff like this all the time. the autistic coded characters are always getting hate for seemingly no reason like this:

meanwhile, the autistic coded characters always become my favorites because I understand them better and relate

#autism #autistic #actually autistic #neurodivergent #people probably do this with other neurodivergencies too tbh #hsr #dan heng #ill tag that too in case other autistic dan heng enjoyers are out there and feel the same 😔🤝😔 #i have seen almost the same exact post about albedo before too. hes also very autistic coded #probably wouldn't be hard to find one about lynette since shes very autistic. and others too. sighs. its so sad. let us live #i don't care if someone dislikes me or a character. its when that reason is from being autistic #whether they conciously know or not that makes me upset. disliking someone for a trait/disability they cant help just sucks #even if its just me projecting onto a foctional character who i can relate to a lot because they feel so similar to me #when irl people are all so different and weird to me and treat ME like the weird alien they dislike “for no reason” sighsssss #again i dont care if someone dislikes a character (or me) i just hate when its for autistic characteristics even if they k ow why #they dont know why* #that may not even be it for the screenshoted people. but its SO GODDAMN COMMON for people to dislike autistic people #“FOR NO REASON” or some obscure feeling they cant explain. so that is the logical explanation #i hardly ever see people dislike a character (or me / other irl autistic people) for any other legitimate reason that's not autistic traits #its always things like “theyre annoying/too awkward and quit/too weird/do and say weird stuff/give me a weird feeling/lack personality/ #quiet* not quit #/too obsessed with *special interest*/bad at communicating/etc“ and not legitimate reasons like they're not a good person or something #where was i going with this ramble....got distracted and forgot #lee rambles #lee is confused and upset about these things!!!!

[northern-passage]

how would we feel about an update that doesn’t have all of the paths available immediately? as in you could see the choice but it wouldn’t be selectable and would be marked as a wip?

#im not sure if i'm actually going to do this but im close to finishing a particular variation but i then still have like... #2 more choices #and one of them i dont know if im strong enough to write after working so long on the first one #it's very similar to the one im working on now but slightly to the left which is why i think it will be really exhausting #for me to write it atm #most likely would only be this one choice and tbh. it's not that special LOL #it's just choosing to be aggressive or defensive initially. i'm almost finished w aggressive #but i think im going to need a long break before doing the defensive one #but im so close to the end i dont want to take a break... #i know i did this back when i did the routes in ch1 since i did them one at a time #but i dont particularly like to do this but also im dying #also to be clear i still have 2 whole paths to do as well as the 2 other main choices in this one #so it's not like im close to updating necessarily #but im just wondering what the general consensus is #of having unfinished paths in an update? #and i also think maybe getting some of it out publicly will help motivation-wise so i can get some feedback #i even debated cutting this choice bc it's not that drastic of a difference outcome wise #it's mainly just how you want to approach it in character #but i dont want to cut it bc then i dont think there would be enough options #and i don't want to force people to go in aggressively if it's not their style anyways