#I don't think nina wanted to die or that she wanted her father to die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 2 months

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Your analytic posts are the best:) Could you talk a bit about the scene on the roof of the embassy between Inej and Kaz? I have so many questions. They might die, so why does Inej pick that moment to tell Kaz she is leaving the Dregs? Why not wait until they are on the boat? Also why does Kaz rub her wrist (through the gloves, of course) where the temporary menagerie tattoo is? Why does Inej touch Kaz's cheek? And why does Inej tell him she will die unafraid?

Kaz's POV chapter previous to this scene is the only one where he doesn't really think about Inej. He is totally focused on finding Pekka in the prison. So, I was surprised when he said to Inej "I want you to know..." What did he want her to know? (I'm sure with her hand on his face --the first positive physical contact he's had in almost a decade--and her question to him about dying unafraid, his mind was reeling. It's no wonder he couldn't formulate an answer to her question).

Hello and welcome to episode one of DK Finally Gets It Together And Answers Her Asks Because It's About Damn Time (working title)

I am so sorry you sent this such a long time ago, but thank you so much for asking it and I hope my terrible answeringness (that's a word now, I've decided) hasn't put you off my stuff, I promise I'm not ignoring you on purpose, when I first read this I thought it was really interesting and I needed some time to think about it and now it's so long later it might even be a year and yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm here - let's go!

So I think that the reason Inej chooses to tell Kaz she's leaving the Dregs in this moment is for the very reason you voiced: they might die tonight, and they might not see each other again before that happens. Inej comments earlier on in the book, when they get hot chocolate at a cafe in Djerholm and wait for Nina to return, that whenever she talks about Ravka or about going home Kaz turns away and tries to find another conversation - in this case I think he starts chatting to Jesper - so we already have this idea that he doesn't want to confront the truth of the situation, which is that Ketterdam is a very temporary part of Inej's life. For Kaz the city is what fuels him and he needs it to enact his vengeance, but he also never sees himself leaving it after Rollins is dead and I think that's really interesting because he almost doesn't know how to comprehend any other existence - I've spoken before about how I don't think that killing Rollins will ever be enough for him and that his revenge is essentially an addiction. It's possible that he will one day be able to find the future and the relief that he needs in Inej, but right now not only does he struggle to view himself as ever leaving Ketterdam but he also struggles with the idea of being alone there - as far as he can see Nina and Matthias will go home together/find a new home together, Wylan will make peace with his father over whatever their arguement was and return to the Geldstradt, Jesper will pay off his debts only to carry on digging himself in deeper whilst Kaz is forced to watch him destroy himself, and Inej will leave and let Ketterdam become a brief blip in her life. I think that, for all he doesn't want to care about the others, Kaz has a very real fear of being an impermanent, small aspect of the others' lives whilst they are such a big aspect of his. And the most frightening part of that for him is to not have Inej with him anymore, the one person he can confide in, seemingly the only person he talks to without specific job-related purposes except maybe Jesper, and the only person he can remove his gloves on front of - I think this inner conflict is really well presented in the Bathroom Scene when he thinks about how he'd concocted a thousand schemes to bind her to him, but that ultimately he knew he was in the wrong and so he paid off her contract with Per Haskell and returned it to her. But from Inej's perspective, considering she doesn't know how he feels about her at this time, I think this could almost look cold. He doesn't want to know about her home, her life, who she was supposed to be, and what she's going to do with her future, and she may even be internalising the idea that the idea she can pay off her debts then up and leave angers him because we know that she massively internalised his description of her as "an investment" with damaging psycological consequences including her belief that she would not come to save her when she was taken by Van Eck and this even extending so far as the quote "He'll never trade if you break me". This is a gut-wrenching moment in Crooked Kingdom, when Inej is forced to admit that she genuinely believes Kaz will not care about her anymore if he "has no use for me anymore", whilst the reader knows that Kaz is losing his mind over rescuing her.

And all of that, as Kaz points out to himself on Black Veil during the "I would come for you" scene, is borne of real actions he completes that, although in a far less intentional way, actually align with some of the abuse that Inej has endured; the dehumanisation she experienced from being "bought and sold like a bolt of cotton" and the way she was denied her own identity to the point that she almost cried when she heard her own name said aloud can both be directly linked to the multiple times Kaz refers to her as an "investment" and the way he doesn't want to hear about her life. And his intentions are never to hurt her in the way he does or in the way she was hurt in the past, but it is also more than possible that some of this is part of the way Kaz distances himself from the others and pushes them away. There's a quote I think about a lot when Inej is horrified to see that Jackal masks, sacred symbols to Suli religion and culture, are sold like "party favours" and worn by pleasure seekers in Ketterdam and Kaz dismisses her emotions, and he then says "In moments like that, she thought he might hate him". I remember reading that and thinking 'yeah, because you just defended the appropriation of her culture, which she herself was forced to appropriate for a year whilst enduring horrific abuse, it would be more than fair to be mad at you right now' but I wonder whether that's almost what he wanted? I talked about it in my "Treasure of my heart" analysis as well where he uses a sarcastic expression of his real feelings to mock her so that's she'll be upset and he come somehow justify that it's therefore not worth liking her because she doesn't return his feelings; it's a self-destructive mechanism, but without meaning to it has the potential to hurt Inej as well.

Wow, if there were awards for tangents I think I'd win them. But my point here is that I think this is exactly why she chooses to tell him in this moment, because she has to say it and she has to make him hear it in case they don't make it out the other side of this night. It's also possible that Inej wants to have her dream said out loud in case she dies tonight. Although she was unable to voice it to Nina because she didn't think it was ready to be shared, that was when they were still following the original plan. Now that everything has spiralled very quickly out of control and into a new, far more daring plan with a lot more moving parts, and that will directly involve revealing themselves to be infiltrating the Ice Court, Inej knows there's a very good chance she won't survive the night. And if she isn't going to make it, she needs someone to know what she intends to do, it needs to be said out loud so that it's real and it means something.

Wondering what Kaz wanted Inej to know is one of the things about these books that has at some point or other kept me awake at night, and honestly my personal final conclusion is that I don't think he knew what he was going to say, but that I think this could have been his first attempt at a confession. This scene bears explicit parallels to the Bathroom Scene in Crooked Kingdom, as you said it's the first time they touch and both of them are greatly vulnerable in each moment; this is a moment of fear, of trust, of realisation, and I think for both of them it arguable is to some extent a confession. I think Inej tells Kaz that she will die unafraid as almost the beginning of what eventually becomes "I will have you without armour", she is directly challenging him in the way he hides his emotions but she has still seen them, and she directly telling him that she is trying to heal and that they only have a chance if he tries to heal as well. Inej doesn't tell Kaz she will only have him without his armour to say that he isn't good enough for her as he is or that he needs to fix himself alone for the final goal of being with her, but she is saying that if he continues down this path and never lets anyone help him and never makes any attempt at healing, that she will not be able to stay with him because she has to try to heal as well and she knows she would have to pull herself away from that situation to be able to do so. I really hope this makes sense. But I think that the touching of Kaz's cheek and the touching of the temporary menagerie tattoo could very much be linked to this idea that the confession has begun or will be coming and I also think it bears resemblance to the Bathroom Scene and I really adore that as a paralell

Thank you so so much for your question, I am so sorry about how long it has taken me to respond but I hope that this was interesting and made sense. And I am planning on continuing to work through my inbox moving forwards, so stay tuned for episode two, and please don't be put off form keeping asks coming I promise I am making my way through them! <3

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mayajadewrites · 5 months

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Levi Ackerman x Reader: Almost

Chapter Seven: Good Things

Chapter Summary: We got some more knowledge about reader and her past, and how she deals with relationships.

I'm gonna testing writing in a first person instead, writing "you" is starting to give me the ick LOL. Let me know what you think! It's still LEVI ACKERMAN X READER.

"I should get going." I stand up from the couch, the aftermath of the euphoria you just experienced taking up the space in my mind.

"If you want to." Levi didn't protest, wiping his lip with his thumb. "I'll drive you."

My legs were still shaking from Levi devouring your pussy, so you walked behind him so he couldn't see the embarrassment.

A man has never made me cum before. This man's dick has not even been inside me and he made me cum with his mouth and fingers. So many feelings swirled my thoughts, the first instinct I feel is to run.

My father is not the best example on what a man should be. He cheated on your mother multiple times, and he always told her he would change. Change never came.

He left when I were 14.

I witnessed my mother's heartbreak as she got rid of his things in my home, one by one.

"Why wasn't I enough?" I would hear your mom on the phone with her sister, gasping for air. "I gave that man a child, my entire life, and he threw it away like it didn't matter."

That conversation is burned into my brain.

People leave. Men leave. I know this.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Levi turned around, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. "You're never this quiet."

"I'm just tired." I briefly look into his eyes, leaning my cheek into his palm.

Levi accepted this answer and helped me into the car, studying my movements.

The car ride home was silent, but my mind was loud.

I don't deserve this.

He's gonna leave like your father did.

He doesn't want me.

Levi pulls up to my apartment, analyzing my face. He knows something is up, but he doesn't want to pry just yet.

"Thank you, I had a great time tonight." I look up into his eyes, feeling a genuine grin form on your face. Levi returned my grin with a slight smile, kissing my lips briefly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He whispered, kissing my lips twice more.

I walk into your apartment and look back once to see Levi leaning against the Range Rover, with a half smirk on his face. I didn't have the energy to make a bratty remark, so I locked the door and listened to the sound of his car leaving.

I've never been able to regulate your emotions and address your trauma. I definitely have undiagnosed anxiety, depression, and possibly more.

To be fair, I've never had to address it. I've never felt this way about anyone. The reason I've only fucked men and not had feelings after the fact is because I wouldn't let myself. I am petrified of becoming your mother.

Levi doesn't deserve a woman like that. He's successful, wealthy, has women pining after him everywhere he goes.

What's so special about me?

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

Bzzzzz.

Levi: Sweet dreams.

Me: Goodnight Mr. Ackerman.

Levi: Brat.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

The next day I get up for your 6 AM shift, unsure if I'm ready to see Nina again after my drunken escapades. Nina is very understanding, but she likes to be... well, dramatic.

"Good morning sunshine!" Nina wrapped her apron around her waist. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine." I grab your apron off of the hook. "How are you?"

"I'm good! Ready for the day!" Nina smiled, clapping her hands together. "How was your morning after with Levi?"

"Morning after he took care of me and made sure I didn't throw up in my sleep, suffocate and die? It was good."

"Yikes, let me shut my big ass mouth." Nina giggled, leaving the back room.

The smell of coffee grounds lifted my spirits, temporarily helping me forget about all my feelings.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

I was on bar today, making everyones drink. The café was booming with people - students, blue collar workers, and everyone in between.

"Good morning, beautiful." A deep voice interrupted my thoughts. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as my eyes met his.

"Good morning Levi." I smile, brewing his black tea. "How's your day looking today?"

"It's better now." He grabbed the cup from me, taking a sip immediately. "It would've been better if I woke up next to you, too."

A blush caressed my face as I shook my head. "I don't think you want to see me every morning as soon as I wake up. Sometimes my mouth is hanging open, I'm drooling -"

"Funny you think you weren't doing that the other night." Levi chuckled, his eyes scanning your face. "You don't look like you slept well."

Must be the bags under my eyes.

"You're so observant." I roll my eyes, beginning another coffee order. "I didn't really."

"I have to take this-" Levi held his phone in the air. "I'll talk to you soon. Have a good day, please."

"You too." I wave goodbye as Levi exits the café. I already missed him, but my anxiety subsided for a bit.

He can find someone better than I could ever be.

He probably wants a woman that can function every day, not like me who has to take depression days.

He wants a woman who's more fit than I am.

The negative thoughts spilled into my mind, taking over my positive ones. Negative self-talk is something I constantly suffer with - I seem to be my biggest hater.

I always ruin good things.

#levi #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman aot #levi ackerman attack on titan #levi fanfic #levi x reader #levi ackerman smut #levi smut

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philosophika · 6 months

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Writeblr Positivity Tag

Hi @inkovert! Thank you, as always, for the tag. Just a quick shout-out; if you don't know Inkovert yet, please please please go check out their WIP, My Dearest Enemy. Also, do you like having in-depth discussions about writing with other up-and-coming authors? Participate in @inkovert's Spilled Ink Saturdays. The first session (on book-to-screen adaptations) was a lot of fun!

✦ What motivates you to write?

I agree with @inkovert. It's not that I'm motivated to write, exactly... It's more that I feel I... have to? There's a sort of internal inertia that keeps pulling me back to fiction. Maybe it's obsession? Maybe it's Maybelline? 💃😉 No, but seriously, I think it may be connected to this weird instinct I have to document things? To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, when I was in my mid-twenties, I went through a terrifying break-in. I kid you not; there was a literal man with a balaclava crouched in my shower in the middle of the night. How did I respond? By screaming, obviously. But after the screaming? I called up my boyfriend and narrated every single detail of what I saw and heard while trying to escape the house with my family. In my mind, I felt it was critical to tell him what was going on, not because I thought it would help catch the culprit(s) (we didn't know if there were more), save us from whatever bitter fate awaited, etc., but kind of in the same way people carve "I was here" into walls? If I was going to die (which was a possibility; a friend's father died in similar circumstances at around the same time), I needed someone to know what I'd seen, to know that I'd seen... So, do I write because I'd die if I didn't? No. I write because I'm going to die anyway. Because I know I'm going to die.

✦ A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud of/happy with. If not, maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them):

I can do you one better! Because @inkovert kindly tagged me, I'd like to return the favour by referring you to their Wattpad page, where you can read their current WIP, My Dearest Enemy

✦ Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them, and what are they like?

Haha, I don't know if any of the OCs in The Sorcerer's Apprentice make me smile. They all worry me a lot. By accepting an apprenticeship with the sorcerer Valeriano, Altaluna is heading straight into a nest of venomous vipers, and they are going to maim her; they are going to maim her for life. Every time she feels optimistic or wow-ed by the glitz and the glam of her new environment, I cringe internally. My poor, sweet summer child! Valeriano, on the other hand, is a monster, so it's hard to smile when thinking of him. Hmm... maybe the only character I genuinely smile around is Cucufate, the talking monkey. He's the only character whose behaviour and snide comments can be underplayed as just 'animal antics,' which means he's the only character who can get away with giving people a little of what they truly deserve. It's hard not to love him for it.

✦ What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Again, I have to agree with @inkovert. The editing process means no blank page, and no blank page means (rejoice!) no existential suffering. My first drafts are always shit and a disappointment. But my second drafts? Dost thou want to live deliciously? With the second draft, I know where I'm going, what's happening, where to trim the fat and everything I need to make the story what I wanted it to be in the first place. Usually, I downright discard the first draft and write the entire story from scratch, but better, so much better. And editing the second (or sometimes, third) draft? Pure, unadulterated bliss. Goodbye, low self-esteem, goodbye doubts; cue me some Nina Simone, why don't you?

✦ What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Editing, re-drafting. I'm good at figuring out what's wrong and have no trouble whatsoever massacring my darlings.

✦ What is something in the writeblr community that is most enjoyable?

The community! I love participating in tag & ask games, reading people's work, celebrating my mutual's triumphs, and sharing my progress. I don't have any writer friends outside of Tumblr (apart from academic writer friends, though they're a very different kettle of fish), so I really appreciate being able to log on and be met with all this creativity.

✦ A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Okay, so first thing first: I have ADHD. Any thought I have is an explosion that simultaneously sends spin-off thoughts in every imaginable direction, which, in turn, send spin-off thoughts in every imaginable direction, and so on and so forth, and on and on, until some of the spin-offs reach a dead end and their line withers, and/or I reach the limits of my capacity to hold all these thoughts in my mind and spontaneously combust. Instead of trying to fight this multi-generative tendency (this leads to a state of paralysis where I can't do anything), I've found a way to let the 'explosions' take the lead without overloading my systems, so to speak. Basically, I figured that if I stored every direction my mind went in somewhere other than my mind, I could let it do its thing without risking burnout. For that, I use MindNode, a visual brainstorming software. And let me tell you, it's been a life-saver. Now, when considering a scene, I document every possible route available to the characters and/or the setting, assign each ramification a score (for example, +1 Worldbuilding, +1 Foreshadowing, +1 Symbolism, +1 Character Development, -1 Cliché, -1 Undermines Tension, -1 Repetitive, etc.), and then choose the one with the highest score to write out. This method is obviously quite time-consuming, but it does have some unique strengths beyond helping me deal with my ADHD: (1) it ensures that there are no superfluous scenes in the grand design, (2) it ensures that all scenes are layered and fulfil multiple story functions at once, (3) it discourages going with the first option that presents itself (usually cliché, in my case), (4) it encourages out-of-the-box creative thinking, (5) and, finally, it's likely to lead to scenes that surprise you, the writer (for example, I was shocked by how many routes led to my character's death, lol). So, yeah, MindNode has been very helpful to me.

✦ A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law, etc)

I love the magic system, but I'm not sure I'll reveal anything more about it before publication than I already have in this post. You're just going to have to wait and see ;)

✦ Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters:

I follow TONS of talented writers on this site, among them: @inkovert, @that-chibi-writer, @tate-lin, @kingkendrick7, @ettawritesnstudies, @blind-the-winds, @aquadestinyswriting, @avrablake, @alinacapellabooks, @lordfenric-writes, @moonscribbler, @cee-grice, @sender-paulson, @sarah-sandwich, @liv-is, @athenswrites, @junypr-camus, @rubywrite, @winterandwords, @salmonandfox, @merlina87, @songsofsomnia, @words-after-midnight, @lucianinsanity, @talesofsorrowandofruin, @nanashi23, @sam-glade, @at-thezenith, @kestalsblog, @kaatiba, @theunboundwriter, and so many more!

#thank you for the tag!#Loved this #Also a quick apology to anyone who has answered an ask I haven't reblogged yet!#I'm working my way down the list and will get to you asap :)

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bwobgames · 1 year

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Previous First

There's a knocking at the door

Beebo goes to open it

"Wait"

"Who's there?"

There's more knocking. This time in the rythm of the Mario Bros theme

"Nevermind its just Simon"

"What"

"Shh"

"Rude. Get in"

Beebo takes a look to the hallway, but he doesn't see anyone else

"Ángel?"

"So?"

"I saw Dad in the house"

"What?! Where?!"

"Elaborate"

"I was in the bathroom and was about to go outside when I saw him."

"He went to the corridor that leads to the patio"

"So I came here to tell the detectives"

"I found the one with the scarf by the stairs, and he told me to bunker down with you two here and keep quiet"

"Where is he now, then? With everyone else downstairs?"

"Um, I don't think so? He said he was gonna, uh... 'take care of him' and went down the stairs"

"What!? That idiot!! Just because I promised I won't die doesn't mean he can!"

"You two stay here, I'll go find him"

"I'll go too"

"Absolutely not"

"It will be a 3 versus 1, we'll be fine!"

"You are not going"

Beebo and Nadia say at the same time

"What the hell."

"Neither are you, Nadia"

"I have the right to get my father detained. You're depriving me of the small joys in life"

"What are you even going to do with him? The storm won't let you take him to the police"

"As awful as this might sound, that's currently not my priority right now, I need to see if Ángel's alright"

"We are professionals. We can handle it.

You two are not. Stay"

He leaves

He runs down the stairs, crosses the bar, and the lounge, reaching the corridor with the bathrooms

He looks through the window. He can barely differentiate anything

"Is Ángel out there? Is Mr. Coli? I doubt they could even see each other in there"

"Is he your boyfriend, by the way? Because if so, I'm judging your taste in men"

"Ugh. Teenagers"

"I believe we had an agreement"

"I didn't sign anything,

and I don't really respect you as an authority figure"

"Note to self, never have a breakdown in front of children. They are perceptive little gremlins"

"... My romantic life is none of your business, I'm taking you to your mother"

"Because I said he sucked?"

"Because there's a maniac running around god knows where and-!

Ugh, where's your brother."

"I told him to stay in the room"

"So he listens to her and not me?"

"Why did you follow me, what would you do if your father tries to kill us?"

"It's a 2 versus 1, odds are in our favor"

"Wha- you would fight your own dad?"

"There is nothing I want to do more. That man has been nothing but a curse to us. He's an asshole to Nina, he toys with Simon's feelings, he completely left Mom for dead, and I don't even think he sees me as a person, even with everyone always going on and on on how I am so much like him. It's offensive honestly.

He's a complete child who's playing with things out of his comprehension.

I understand that you are a man of the law, and this is for your principles or whatever. But even if that man hadn't committed numerous crimes, I would still fight him.

The thought of being anything like him sickens me.

Mom says that all girls my age go through that feeling"

"... I am not equipped for that conversation. We are going to your mother"

"Hey, is that your guy?"

She points to the window

"That's him! Oh, thank god he's okay"

"How can I call him over? If I scream, it might make Mr. Coli aware of our location.

Ugh, I'm asking for his phone number after this

Wait, phone!

I'll use my phone flashlight as a signal! Like a lighthouse!"

He takes out his phone and looks for the flashlight

Something about that feels... familiar.

The lights turn off

That definitely feels familiar

He has a weird feeling in his chest

"...I think we need to check on Simon"

Nadia runs towards the stairs

Oliver flashes his lantern against the window to alert Ángel and runs as well

#i had a vague idea on how to do this scene but wasnt really sure how to actually do it so #you got polled #anyways here's the results of that :)#detective beebo #thats all for today! things go down tomorrow!

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thecrxwclub · 2 years

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the crows described using five of their quotes

Kaz

“And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for that skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind . . . I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue.”

“He knew exactly what he intended to leave behind when he was gone. Damage.”

“There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.”

“Well, Brekker, it’s obvious you only deal in half-truths and outright lies, so you’re clearly the man for the job.”

“Would you?" asked Wylan, his chin jutting forward. "Trust someone with that knowledge, with a secret that could destroy you?" Yes, thought Kaz without hesitation. There's one person I would trust. One person I know who would never use my weaknesses against me.”

Inej

“You still may die in the Dregs." Inej’s dark eyes had glinted. "I may. But I'll die on my feet with a knife in my hand.”

“She was not a lynx or a spider or even the Wraith. She was Inej Ghafa, and her future was waiting above.”

“For some reason, those words had comforted her. Better terrible truths than kind lies.”

“I'm already a ghost, she thought. I died in the hold of a slaver ship.”

“"I'm not ready to give up on this city, Kaz. I think it's worth saving." I think you're worth saving.” . . . She would fight for him, but she could not heal him. She would not waste her life trying.”

Jesper

“Facts are for the unimaginative,” Jesper said with a dismissive wave.

“There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they’d created in the link, Wylan said, “Just girls?” Jesper restrained a grin. “No. Not just girls.”

“That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.”

“Take good care of my babies,” Jesper said as he handed them over to Dirix. “If I see a single scratch or nick on those, I’ll spell forgive me on your chest in bullet holes.”

“If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket,” Jesper said as he hefted two slender coils of rope over his shoulder and signalled for Wylan to follow him across the roof. “The world deserves a few more moments with this face.”

Wylan

“You’re not weak because you can’t read. You’re weak because you’re afraid of people seeing your weakness. You’re letting shame decide who you are.”

You’re our chemist, Wylan,” said Nina hopefully. “What do you think?” Wylan shrugged. “Maybe. Not all poisons have an antidote.” Jesper snorted. “That’s why we call him Wylan Van Sunshine.”

“You know, Wylan, one of these days I'm going to stop underestimating you.” “There was a brief pause and then, somewhere ahead, he heard Wylan say, "Then you're going to be a lot harder to surprise.”

“Until this moment, Wylan hadn't quite understood how much they meant to him. His father would have sneered at these thugs and thieves, a disgraced soldier, a gambler who couldn't keep out of the red. But they were his first friends, his only friends, and Wylan knew that even if he'd had his pick of a thousand companions, these would have been the people he chose.”

“What do you like?" "Music. Numbers. Equations. They're not like words. They ... they don't get mixed up." "If only you could talk to girls in equations." There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?”

Nina

“Nina stopped laughing. “I am going to turn your teeth inside out.” “That is physically impossible.” “I just raised the dead. Do you really want to argue with me?”

“You aren’t a flower, you’re every blossom in the wood blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You’re a stampede. You are overwhelming.”

“They were twin souls, soldiers destined to fight for different sides, to find each other and lose each other too quickly. She would not keep him here. Not like this.”

“Nina just liked to flirt with everything. He’d once seen her make eyes at a pair of shoes she fancied in a shop window.”

“What do you want, Kaz?” “You have crumbs on your cleavage.” “Don’t care,” she said, taking another bite of cake. “So hungry.” Kaz shook his head, amused and impressed at how quickly Nina dropped the wise Grisha priestess act. She’d missed her true calling on the stage.”

Matthias

“Nina, I am with you because you let me be with you. There is no greater honor than to stand by your side.”

“Do not be afraid. Fear is how they control you. There's so much in the world you don't have to be afraid of, if you would only open your eyes.”

“I’m trying to compel you to kiss me.” “That’s foolish.” “Why is that?” “Because I always want to kiss you,” he admitted.”

“They fear you as I once feared you,” he said. “As you once feared me. We are all someone’s monster, Nina.”

He doesn’t approve of anything about you. But when you laugh, he perks up like a tulip in fresh water.” Nina snorted. “Matthias the tulip.” “The big, brooding, yellow tulip.”

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countessofravenclaw · 5 months

Text

Breaking down some foreshadowing

So did you all read the new chapter of A Homeland This North, country dear fathers! ? Did you like it? Told you that nothing was gonna go wrong, am I right?

Honestly, if you follow me here, you probably knew what was coming since I have talked about it. Anyway, it's still interesting to see who was expecting it, since much of my writing is happy-go-lucky adventures with no actual stakes and I don't put a lot of thought into motifs and recurring themes. If my writing was looked at as real literature, it would probably be horrid. But, for this one as we have been building up to this since part one, I actually included some intentional foreshadowing. I mean the first alarm bell that rung in no one's head was the fact that they were not supposed to go to Finland originally and that it was due to Gastón that they eventually did. So, I decided to break down some of the foreshadowing I did that alluded that something bad was going to happen and it was going to happen to Gastón

Chapter 1

“Then let's let him,” Gastón just laughed, “Hey look, I turn 27 next week and be in my late twenties, so I gotta have the fun now.”

“Well, I also have never skied—” Nina answered the question directed at her, “—nor will I. It seems dangerous. Anyway, I like the plan, there are other things to do for me.”

“I can live with never knowing if can I ski or not,” Nina stated, “I’m not athletic, nor do I enjoy it. I would just get myself hurt.”

Chapter 2

“It’s always good to have doctors as your acquaintances,” Isla nodded, “I actually recently was talking to Serena…”

“You were a natural in it, but you’re not 16 anymore,” Marco pointed out, “So be careful. The emergency number is different there.”

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t get in trouble,” Nina glanced at Gastón, “Thankfully, they can’t spend the whole day there as there is so little light. We did look up the emergency number. 112 is the most common one in Europe, but they didn’t use it at England. But I doubt, we’re gonna need to use it.”

“Do we really wanna go through that emotional turmoil again?”

Nina really wished that he could have come with them to see the capital, but his job obviously came first right now. Once they were in Lapland, they would have plenty of time. Even with Simon and Ambar and Luna and Matteo, there would be more than enough time to have just to themselves.

“Not really,” Gastón shook his head. “Just some things in the future that I might wanna do. But that’s the future, I have time to think about it.”

Chapter 3

“Tell her to talk to my Mom if she wants to fuss,” Gastón kissed Nina on top of her head as he sat down, “They can form a support group. They’re just scared that they’ll never get grandchildren if we die here middle of nowhere.”

“I still wish Mom and Dad would have actually picked if they wanted to be protective or not,” Gastón laughed, “More often than not, they just let me do what I wanted, but then suddenly they were convinced I was deliberately putting my life at risk. I’m still surprised they ever let me back to Roller after the fire.”

“Have fun,” Nina kissed Gastón on the cheek as he got up from the table, “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Us?” Gastón and Matteo glanced at each other. They had opted not to take any lessons, given that they had done quite frequent skiing while younger. It was to be seen how good an idea that was going to be. “Never.”

“Of course you are. Don’t worry.” Gastón ran his finger through a lock of her hair, “We’re not going on a black slope at the start. We’ll start off easy and be careful.” He leaned down swiftly to kiss her.

"I will never leave her side."

“Of course I have,” Gastón responded, “and so does Nina. We have talked about it a lot. It’s just not happening at this second. We have all the time in the world. You don’t think we’re actually gonna tell you when we’re trying? That would be crossing some lines. When there is actually something to tell, you will know.”

“And I’m not gonna question you any further,” Gastón finished his point before looking at the view down the mountain again, “You know, life’s really good right now.”

“Well, hopefully you won’t fall,” Gastón grinned and started sliding ahead, “See you at a lower altitude!”

“We took couple of green ones at the start,” Gastón started, “They’re beginner friendly. Wide and away from the forest so there is no danger if you fall or derail.”

“I wouldn’t try it,” Matteo shook his head, before looking at Luna sternly, “Luna, I’m being serious. Don’t try it. I don’t want to head to the ER during this trip.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure April won’t want any part of this,” Gastón laughed while he had been absenmindedly playing with Nina’s hair, “and she’s not a doctor, yet. She will be a neurosurgeon, not a radiology tech or ObGYN. She won’t be able to tell a thing, but we’re very well situated if someone has a brain injury…or well, you are. She won’t be allowed to operate on me.”

I just wanted to show this off because I'm proud of it

#Soy Luna #soy luna fanfiction #gastina #lutteo #simbar #pelfi #kind of in the background #Christmas #DCLA Holidays #Finland #I have my silly faves visit my country

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heartrender6 · 1 year

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horrifyingly angsty fic idea (!!crooked kingdom spoilers!!)

spoilers under the cut

that line "the way you let my mother live" but he actually does. van eck breaks wylans mind and then sticks him at saint hilde. the plan still works out because kaz always has a backup plan, but van eck tells them he killed wylan after getting the plan out of him and the crows think they lost wylan as well as matthias.

kaz knew from the beginning but doesn't try to get him out because he truly believes that it is the best place for wylan to be bc of the state he's in. he goes to visit him every so often to make sure he's being treated well but also because he feels immensely guilty, the same way he blamed himself for jordie's death. he curses himself for feeling that way because he hates admitting that he felt anything for his crows. the truth is that kaz really liked how wylan's stubbornness bled into his hope and the way he refused to let the world beat the goodness out of him but kaz couldn't save him from it forever bc now wylan is stuck in a room with all the life sucked out of him.

meanwhile jesper thinks wylan is dead and is not only completely stricken with grief, but also loneliness. matthias is dead, nina left for ravka, inej is off at sea and the only crows left are kaz and jesper and jesper obviously can't seek any comfort from kaz because... kaz. the other dregs are still his friends ofc but like they just don't understand. they didn't know wylan. and he's lost friends and even lovers before, but this is different because wylan had made him believe they had a better chance and that people could be good but jesper's hope died with wylan.

of course jesper eventually finds out, and is furious with kaz for not telling him. kaz has kept him in the dark before but never about something like THIS. kaz admits that he didn't tell jesper because he thought he was being merciful and feels like he himself would be better off thinking wylan was dead instead of this empty husk of a boy that haunts him just like jordie does. jesper is angry and confused because ??? since when is kaz brekker merciful??

he doesn't know if he can forgive kaz for this so he goes to visit wylan and ofc he's horrified and wants to stick a bullet in his father but mostly he's just unbelievably happy to see him alive and breathing. slowly they work on getting wylan back. it's not easy or linear but it's worth it, even if he may never fully return back to his old self agian. it takes jesper awhile to repair his friendship with kaz but eventually wylan is the one who convinces him that kaz really didn't mean to hurt him and he's sorry. they get wylan and his mom tf outta there and they live happily ever after. the end.

BONUS: the night before the big auction, nina is thinking about how things are gonna change after this and for a brief moment has an intrusive thought: if one of us had to die, i would rather it be wylan. immediately she's horrified at herself. she loves wylan. he's been nothing but kind to her since the day they met. she can picture his sweet eyes turning sad and dejected if he ever heard her say that. then after he "dies", she's freaked out that maybe this was some kind of manifestation of her new death powers and matthias isn't even there to reassure her. the guilt haunts her for the rest of her life, even after she finds out wylan is alive. thanks for reading ;)

#six of crows #crooked kingdom spoilers #you have been warned #shadow and bone #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wesper #bishangzoy #fanfic #sort of #BONUS bonus: inej knew wylan was alive obv because kaz tells her everything and she feels horrible for keeping it from jesper and for #not doing a better job of protecting wylan especially after experiencing van eck's cruelty firsthand #bonus BONUS bonus: wylan can barely think coherently but he wonders where all his friends went and why nobody came for him #what the fuck is wrong with me

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felixcloud6288 · 6 months

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Fullmetal Achemist Chapter 95

This is such a Royai chapter.

Look at Riza's gun. She had the hammer primed and her finger was on the trigger.

Riza's father was the original creator of Flame Alchemy. She watched him be driven to madness by it and is witnessing it all again.

And I'd say Envy isn't even trying to save it's life anymore. It just wants to sow misery and strife among the group even if it dies doing so. They all have so many reasons to hate each other, and them not reacting to his taunts at all is what frustrates Envy the most. Ed doesn't even respond to being called short.

Envy is a being that seems incapable of kindness. The closest it's ever come is when Envy purposely addressed Ed politely when it had consigned itself to death in Gluttony's stomach.

Like all it's siblings, Envy has a sort of ego that makes it feel superior to humans. That sense of ego stems from them existing for a purpose rather than being born by sheer chance. I've mentioned how I think Wrath hates how his life has been directed for his purpose, but maybe all of the Homunculi hold similar feelings.

Envy has had to interact with people. It's an agent of strife and discord. But Envy has seen how humans, born with no purpose, can still come together to lead fulfilling lives. Meanwhile Envy, a superior being, is empty inside. Instead of thinking on these feelings, Envy decided to lash out at humans to ease the pain. And it found some degree of happiness to drag others down.

And when Envy was brought low, Ed expressed pity and compassion instead of the cruelty and mockery Envy expected. And that was the last straw.

As Envy died, it referred to Ed by name for the first time.

Roy's eyes are hidden after watching Envy commit suicide. He called Envy a coward for doing so. Was he grieving or angry. Or maybe he was reflecting on his own life. I wonder if Roy's ever thought of taking his own life. Has he ever had moments where the guilt of Ishbal was so great he considered if he should just die right then?

We don't see him alone often, but when he was reminiscing about Ishbal in chapter 58, he looked like he was struggling to not break down and cry.

And that's another plot thread resolved.

Back in Central HQ, the Central troops have decided to ally with Major General Armstrong.

She's lost the use of her right arm, likely broken when she fell through the rubble in chapter 92. She's still very capable with a sword in her off-hand though.

And when Alex Louis Armstrong regains use of his left arm, he puts on a display of his strength and Alchemy. But he doesn't refer to it as a technique passed down from the Armstrong line. It is HIS perfect muscles and superior Alchemy.

Alex believes his skills are worthy to be called his own because he now fights for a cause he believes in.

That scene with the tank firing on Central HQ seems to be the exact same scene of it from last chapter. The same guy is even reporting in.

FALMAN YOU TRAITOR!! Are you sticking with Briggs cause they made you a 2nd Lieutenant?

It’s the final arc so everyone is returning.

Nina Trauma Count: 8

back

#fullmetal alchemist reread #fullmetal alchemist

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elviriel · 7 months

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Angel The Series. Obviously.

bless you for asking 🌹 i finished it yesterday and the opinions are Brewing

my favorite female character: Cordelia. I grew so, so very attached to her during my watch - I always liked her a lot, but I wasn't hugely invested in her in BTVS either. Here, though? Favorite. Which made season four and five all the more frustrating at times, especially given what we know of the behind the scenes stuff with CC and JW T_T. But yeah, I love Cordelia. She's a fun foil for a character like Angel, and her journey with the visions - and the fact that she didn't want to give them up - was really enjoyable for me

my favorite male character: At the risk of sounding obvious, Angel? I keep trying to articulate the why of it, and it comes down to just the fact that I just... like him. Wesley from season 3 on comes very close, but in general, I tend to root for Angel more. The biggest indicator of my liking for Angel was that the second Spike came onto the scene, I was hissing like a cat like "ok vampire with a soul is ANGEL'S THING"

my favorite book/season/etc: I find it hard to choose between 2 and 3 atm. 2 had Angel's little dark spiral, which I found very fun, and season 3 had the whole "the father kills the son" arc, which was the most invested I ever was in this show

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): season 5 is fresher in my mind, so I'm going to say episode 12 of season 5, because that one has Cordelia in it - and is, thankfully, a nice send-off for her, though I'll forever be bitter she couldn't be around for the whole season (It might have made me less resentful of Spike's general presence, tho I did enjoy him regardless)

my favorite cast member: Idk much about them as people, but I'm going to say Alexis Denisof kILLED as unshaven miserable Wesley, and I was very impressed with him

my favorite ship: I hesitate between Angel x Cordelia and Wesley x Lilah. Angel x Cordy took me by surprise - I'm a diehard Bangel, and before watching ATS, the knowledge that Angel x Cordy became a thing made me a hater already. But I was surprised by how their friendship grew, and the Ship was Awakened in me when Angel was obviously deeply upset that Cordelia was still mad at him in season 2. That being said, I also think I'd have been satisfied with Angel x Cordy without the romantic element, as long as they kept the close friends/warriors for good aspect. It's the kind of ship that I feel could stay friends (unlike, say, Bangel, to refer to Spike's little 'You'll never be friends' speech", which I know you're familiar with xD), and I do like my ships with a bit more bite, no pun intended. And Wesley x Lilah was a fucking delight. Didn't see it coming, enjoyed every second of it, right down to the corpse head chopping. OH, I also enjoyed Lindsey x Darla for what it was. Lindsey in general was a fav of mine - he's just neat!

a character I’d die defending: Mmmm. No answer springs to mind, but I will say, I found myself kind of protective of Harmony in season 5 - I know she's a soulless little demon, but like, be nice to her (the fact that Spike was so dismissive of her got under my skin like BRO where's that soul of yours now)

a character I just can’t sympathize with: I desperately want to say Andrew, but we barely saw him, and that's mostly my BTVS feelings bleeding over. I'm sure there are answers among the villains, but nobody comes to mind.

a character I grew to love: Definitely Wesley. I was never too keen on him, but then, gosh. His dark side is just FASCINATING and I love him to bits.

my anti otp: unfortunately i can't say sp*ffy for ATS xD but otherwise, i don't think there's any ship on Angel I outright hate. Though Connor x Cordelia was definitely unpleasant, I don't really count it as a ship. I guess.... Angel x Nina didn't do much for me? But we barely saw them together, so, it's hard to muster any anti otp hatred. Fred x Wesley didn't do much for me (I always side-eyed them because from the start, I was convinced it would mean nothing good for Gunn), but without Fred x Wesley, you don't get Wesley x Illyria, which was the highlight of my late season 5 viewing 💙

#thank you for much for giving me the room to talk a bit about ATS #i have so much more to say which will likely go in a spot #audrey watches angel #askbox things

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vole-mon-amour · 1 year

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2x03, part 1.

Oh wow. OH WOW???? I'M— That's is soooo uncharacteristic for Kaz. And for once, it fits.

She's the only one who can beat his ass and stay untouchable. Get his ass!!

Damn it. I think they nailed it. Even the memory of that in the book gets me all riled up. I'm so mad at Rollins and what he did to those kids. I'd say "Damn it, Jordie", but really, it wasn't his fault. They were just orphans against the entire world, and Jordie wanted the best for him and Kaz. He could he could trust this man. The question of rolling robbing them and leaving them to die, though? How can somebody to that is another topic.

And that's why I disliked you even in the books. :) Funny, though, and very convenient to turn back into the prince when the situation needs that. "My Tsarevich."

For once, I agree with Alina. Show him who's the boss.

I have an ao3 tab open since 2x01. And I am definitely reading that after finishing the season. :) This is a good moment.

Honestly, the way they mixed up the books and something that didn't exist in it.

Wait, WHAT??????? Somebody explain pls. Surely they're not hinting at Jesper and Wylan having sex before????? Surely it's something else???

Jesper is precious.

A Merchant's son. The one whose father hired people to kill him. My good, their stories! The book is sucking me back in.

Yeah, Jesper, you're a goner. :') Just like you were with Kaz. I'm still convinced that if Kaz was more... available, maybe? Then something would have happened. Bc there's no wonder in my mind that Jesper has a crush on Kaz in the books.

I mean, technically, she may be right. But she constantly demands of him. I mean, yeah, she's loyal, but so are other crows? And they don't ask anything in return because they know who they are dealing with and what comes with it, pros AND cons? Sorry if I stick with Jesper that will follow Kaz to Hell and accept that maybe not blindly, but quietly. He'll be ok with Kaz scolding him or whatever. Doesn't mean it should be that way forever, but Jesper knows what comes with it. He trusts him. He loves him. So why's Inej special, huh? The fact that she pushes Kaz into telling her = pushes him away. Let him have this at his own pace. "Oooh, I don't care about your trauma, oooh, tell me immediately." Piss off. Perfect couple, my ass.

Like here. Jesper ACCEPTS it. Jesper will follow him. Kaz means so much to him. He doesn't entirely understand Kaz, but he TRUSTS him & waits for him when Kaz needs him to.

And before anyone says anything, K*nej is my absolute notp. Choose the reason that suits you, but I will never ship Kaz and Inej. Kaz can stay with Jesper and Inej can stay with Nina.

Gorgeous. Stunning. Breathtaking.

No fucking way? Wait, did Kaz tell her in the books? I believe he didn't, and definitely not at that moment? HELLLOOOOOO??? I'm not really sure. A re-read is a must now.

That is a beautiful gesture. *sigh* His hands are shaking, and yet.

It was Kaz's trauma that pulled him back from Inej in the books. Not Nina. I don't need this implication that they would've kissed if it wasn't for Nina. Yeah, I'm having a hard time watching those scenes, just like I knew I would.

Now THIS I ship. "She missed Nina." Girlfriends. <3

He. Him.

A badass!!

Not Genya :( Get fucked, Sasha. Get fucked.

Are they... holding hands? I'm so confused about how they portray Wesper. It's out of nowhere!! C'mon, they hold hands the entire time & I'm so disappointed??? Jesper doesn't know him at all. He calls him a stranger. It's so logical in CK, what happens here????

Kaz прикладывается к бутылке? Like, yeah, he drinks when he stressed out, but to carry a drink with himself, everywhere? Is this the Kaz we know?

#natiswatching #kaz brekker #sabn #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #anti kanej #wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #nina zenik #ninej

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madnessiseverything · 1 year

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grishaverse (mostly soc) fics

since i've now posted over 20k of fic for this fandom i figured i'd do a little collection post for them 👀

when i'm beat up and alone, 1.4k words. jesper has a very bad day and gets beat up for his efforts. It’s a testament to his fucked up state—the reason he should never touch another drop of alcohol, a promise he has made far too many times—that they get the jump on him and he can’t reach for his guns in time, long-trained reflexes impeded by just about everything this shitty day has thrown his way. His head meets concrete and the world slides away for a brief, but far too crucial moment. -

live to fight another day, 2.6k words. five times jesper says "this is how we die" and one time he refuses to say it. His mama presses her lips to his forehead, tugs him down to match her height once more. She smiles, bright as the sun above their heads. The tear tracks down her face turn golden. Then those gentle, oh-so-gentle hands move to his chest, and Aditi—beautiful, loving, stubborn woman that she is—shoves. -

anything for love and war, 587 words. jesper gives wylan a key and freaks out about it. But insecurity has always been a loathed companion following his every step, and Jesper has always talked too much. Everything suddenly feels too fast, like he’s falling from a precipice he didn’t even have time to see. He’s never been here before, he thinks with an edge of panic. -

with bloody feet across the hallow ground, 8.9k words, ongoing WIP. everyone is fucked up in a more magical way, kaz is the barrel itself, the wraith receives prayers, wylan still crawls out of Ketterdam canals, jesper loses his soul during a game, and nina dabbles in necromancy. How then, the Wraith muses as she watches Ketterdam come to life with the approaching dark, is it possible that he doesn’t scoff at her mere existence—when faith is engraved into every tool her hands reach for, when the torn loom of her being is stitched up with the very thread that fills his floors with every new prayer a poor soul utters somewhere in the streets? -

all i ever wanted was to be of use, 5.6k words. jesper and kaz are missing inej and don't deal with it in a healthy way. kaz uses wylan's past to get to jesper. He knew the sanctuary he had found would be temporary, that his father would find him again to finish what Wylan failed to do back in the canal. He’d been foolish when he hoped it would take its time. All this time where he thought he had found happiness, he’d instead gotten complacent, let himself be lulled into a false sense of security with Jesper’s laughter and kindness. He should have known better than think he could build himself a home amidst these people. -

please forgive my ugly, 2.1k words, ongoing WIP. jesper, up to his neck in debt, gets evicted and moves in with nina and inej, finally accepting that he needs help. The last time, Jesper tells himself on his first night, the last time things were this bad, he’d gotten Inej stabbed and irreparably damaged his relationship with Kaz. “This action will have no echo,” Jesper laughs joylessly into the rain thundering down on the bus stop roof. At least this time he alone has to bear the consequences. At least this time he doesn’t have blood on his hands. -

like a true survivor, 2k words. alina climbs into the car trunk of some strangers and ends up as a road trip buddy for the crows. She’d climbed into the backseat, with the Suli woman joining her on the other side. The Zemeni man had slid into the driver’s seat with a bright grin—Alina is pretty sure he was the one who kept laughing last night—and promptly held out an opened tub of gummy worms towards her. She hadn’t taken one until the man pointedly ate one himself as though to convince her they weren’t poisoned.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #alina starkov #grishaverse #soc #sab

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bloodyknucklesforme · 1 year

Text

Don't Blame Me | John 'Soap' Mactavish x F!OC

Chapter 18: The Lakes

Ao3 | Masterpost

Nina and John are reunited

General Tags: Fake Marriage, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Slow Build, Canon-Typical Violence

Words:

“I know I stabbed you but was breaking my ribs really necessary?” Nina asked as Ghost helped her hobble back from the bathroom. He chuckled under his breath.

“I won’t try as hard to save your life next time.” He said, wrapping an arm around her legs to lift her back into bed. She winced and whimpered in pain. Her nails dug into his hoodie. He let her lean against him as she started deep breathing. She was given pain medication but her whole torso ached.

“Please actually just let me die next time.” She said, blinking tears away.

“I don’t think Johnny would have liked that.” He said.

“Have you seen him?” She asked as he lifted her to sit on the bed and helped move her legs so she could lay back.

“Yesterday before you woke up. He ripped his stitches crawling down the hall.”

“Why was he crawling in the hallway?”

“To see you. Would have made it if he didn’t leave a blood trail. Gaz and I had to carry him back. The nurse chewed him out harder than Price ever could.” He laughed as took his regular seat in the chair by her bed.

She turned away trying to hide the flush on her face. He was beautifully stupid sometimes. She would have laughed if it didn’t make her cry.

She’d spent a lot of time crying over the past 24 hours. She’d tried to remain stoic for all of 10 seconds before memories flooded the dams behind her eyes. Price’s hands on her shoulders as she sobbed out begs for knowledge about John.

He was okay. Needed stitches and will have to do a couple of weeks of physical therapy but he’d be okay.

He was being sent home at the end of the week. Price had declared no arguments would be had about it. She would stay here with him while Gaz, Ghost, and John returned to the UK. Agent Laswell was going to arrive later that day to settle all the paperwork. Price said to give it four to six weeks and she’d be in England too.

“I don’t have an extra room but we can set you up in my office for a bit and depending on how long you need, get you a real bed.” He assured. He’d been ‘fathering’ a lot the past 24 hours. He’d gotten her new earrings (‘these won’t turn your ears green’). He held her hand through the copious amounts of catch-up vaccines she’d gotten (‘Had to do the same thing during basic’). He kicked Ghost out of the room yesterday evening after she ate her first real meal in 3 days.

“I never stopped looking for you. Shoulda never left ya after seeing your dad yell like that. Shoulda taken you in myself.” He thought she was asleep. His voice kept cracking. “I wouldn’t have been the best dad but you woulda been safe. Coulda gone to school and done your A levels. Woulda taught you how to drive. I was young and a coward. Wish I broke that cunt’s jaw that day. You were a baby, Nina.”

She clenched her good hand. He wanted privacy. He was talking like no one could hear. Maybe he did want her to hear on some subconscious level. He thought she was asleep so she kept the act up.

“A baby to me at least. Every country I went to, I asked if they’d seen you or your father. I had ears in Russia, Mexico, Urzikstan. Fucking Kyrat…” he chuckled. “Whole unit thought your dad killed ya. Couldn’t stomach the thought. When Laswell called to ask about my former Captain and his daughter, almost went mad. She wasn’t sure but there was some English girl in the mountains of a failed state. I wanted to get you that day, bring ya home. That agent that had contact you, he was lucky he was dead on arrival. Using you as bait? Wanted to cave his head in for that.”

He stood up, the metal scrapped against the linoleum.

“If I ever get my hands on your dad… God’s mercy on him 'cause it won’t be mine.” He pushed her hair back and kissed her forehead, his beard hair tickled her face. “John’ll be good to ya. You deserve it.”

Ghost came back after he left and found her crying. He grabbed her a tissue box and took up his silent watch.

She liked that he was quiet. It made her calm. He would sit with his back towards her, legs stretched out with his heels resting on the floor. The chair in the room was the most comfortable and every half hour or so he’d get up and stretch before sitting back down.

He’d talk if she did but there wasn’t a lot to say. She didn’t know anything about him. She just stared at his back and made up stories in her head.

“It’s rude to stare, love.” He spoke, shattering her mental picture of him watering an impressive rose garden.

“Why the skull?” She blurted out.

“Hmm?”

“Why the skull mask if ghosts don’t have bones?”

“A skull’s more intimidating than a white sheet.”

“You do it to scare people?” He shrugged. It worked, scared the shit out of her. Scared the nurses too. He’d taken it off and switched to a medical mask, baseball cap, sunglasses, and pulled-up hoodie (all black); at Price’s request. Too many rumors had been swirling about the hospital apparently. “I mean it works. It was pretty fucking scary.”

“Scary enough to stab me?” He looked over his shoulder at her.

“In my defense, the rest of them were wearing balaclavas… how badly did I get you?”

“Not bad. Little more than a nick honestly. One of few to get me and survive to talk about it.”

“Scary and dangerous.”

“Your boyfriend isn’t a pacifist either.”

“He doesn’t wear a skull mask.”

“He has before.”

She almost didn’t catch it - boyfriend. Was he her boyfriend? She played around with the word silently in her mouth. Boyfriend. It was a downgrade after spending the previous week referring to him as her husband.

They’d left the ring on her hand. It was disgustingly dirty now. The stone was cloudy and the band was tarnished. Dark brown blood filled any scratches. She hoped she’d be allowed to keep it.

There was a knock on the door. Ghost got up and pulled the curtain around her; a standard procedure now.

“You hear with permission or do I have to carry you back to your room?” Ghost said.

“He’s here with me.” Price said. “Is she up?”

John…

“I’m up.” She said before Ghost could get a syllable out. There was the squeak of rubber against linoleum. John hobbled around the corner.

“Hey, Neen.” He was grinning. His face was bruised from where the butt of the gun hit him.

“Hi, John.” She pushed herself up straighter. It fucking hurt.

“Hey, careful. I’ll come to you.” He came around the side of the bed and dragged a chair over with his crutch. He took her hand in his, smile fading as he saw the bandage. It looked like he was choking on his words. “I’m so fucking sorry, Neen. I’m so fucking sorry.”

He looked at his feet and held her knuckles against his forehead. He was trying not to cry, she could see it in how his shoulders were hunched over.

“Why are you apologizing?” She said, cupping his cheek. “You didn’t do anything.”

“I didn’t protect you, Neen. You almost died and I...I didn’t do anything,” His voice cracked.

“Come here,” She tugged on his wrist. He looked up at her. “I almost got you killed.”

She grazed her fingers over the bruise around his throat.

“I didn’t want to watch you die,” she hiccuped. “ I was gonna come back for you. I wasn’t going to leave you. I was gonna kill him and I was going to come back. We were in it together. I failed just as much as you.”

John pressed his lips to her knuckles before speaking against them.

“I thought I was going to lose you. I don’t want to leave you here.” His eyes were red

“I’ll be okay… could you call me when you get back? So I know you’re okay? So I can hear your voice?” His eyes lit up and he smiled at that.

“Every night, Neen. I call ya every night. No matter what, you call I’ll pick up, aye? Till you touch ground in England. I told you you wouldn’t be able to get rid of me.” He pushed himself up on one crutch and leaned in to peck her cheek. He checked to make sure Ghost and Price weren’t looking before coming back with a sloppy kiss on her lips.

“I might not be able to keep my hands off you next time,” he whispered. “If Price doesn’t kill me first.”

“I won’t let him.” She whispered back.

“I get checked out tomorrow but Gaz and I will bring you lunch before we leave.” He gave her another quick kiss. He kept turning to leave but would stop to give her another kiss.

“Come on, Soap. She still needs rest.” Price said, coming around the curtain to end their privacy. “You’ll see her tomorrow. “

“Call me,” he mouthed, holding up a hand to mimic a phone. She grinned and nodded.

“So who’s paying for all these international calls you two are planning?” Price asked as they left. Ghost came around when the door shut.

“Johnny’s a good man. Take care of him.”

“I will.”

He nodded and went back to his post. She found herself smiling when she woke up the next morning.

It was an early lunch. She, Price, and Ghost could hear Gaz yelling at John to slow down from the elevator to the room.

Price was helping her sit up to eat when John came in, moving as fast as he could on crutches.

“You’re supposed to knock, Johnny,” said Ghost.

“Like you didn’t know it was me, L.t.”

Gaz followed him with two large brown paper bags filled with food.

“Finest Mexican in Northwestern Canada for you, darling,” Gaz said as he started taking takeout containers and setting them on the fold-out tray beside her.

“Thank you,” she smiled. Gaz and Price pulled up their own chairs and the four of them dove in. John used his limited vocal capacity to explain what everything was.

“This is good but you have to try real Mexican one day.”

“Is this not real Mexican?”

“No way. Rudy showed Ghost and me the best street tacos I’ve ever had.”

“When have you ever had street tacos before?” Gaz asked, incredulously.

“Never. That’s why they were the best.” The two started laughing.

“Ghost? Come join us.” Nina said. He looked back over his shoulder at her and gave a soft shake of his head. “You need to eat” She turned to the others “I’ve never seen him eat.”

“I eat when you sleep, love.”

“Price is cutting my food for me so I’m unarmed.”

“She does have a fork though,” Gaz laughed until Ghost gave him a look. He still pulled up a chair.

“What’s your opinion on the food?” She asked, offering him a chip. He took it but didn’t eat.

“Alejandro’s was better. Can tell by the smell.”

“Didn’t think the two of you would be itching to go back to Mexico so quickly.”

“Just for the food, Sir,” John said. “Wouldn’t mind seeing the Vaqueros again someday.”

“Vaqueros?” Nina asked.

“Mexican special forces unit we worked with. Means cowboy.” Ghost said, he’d eaten the chip when no one was looking.

“I’ll take you one day,” John said as he took another bite of fajitas.

“You’re gonna take me to Mexico?” She asked. When he told her about Las Almas he didn’t speak of anything happy.

“You’re taking her to Mexico?” Price asked, arms crossed. John shrugged.

“Outside of work, of course. Las Almas is beautiful when the sun’s out. There are other parts of the country I’d like to see too. Gulf Coast, the old temples.” He’d taken her hand and was rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “Don’t want to lose any of my Spanish skills either.”

He kept his hand on hers for the rest of lunch but eventually he had to leave. Gaz was kind enough to pack up any leftovers for Price to take back to his hotel. Laswell had secured them temporary housing once she checked out in a couple of days. They’d stay there till her paperwork was ready and she could fly.

John lingered as he always did. He was careful of PDA in front of Price but would steal kisses to her cheek whenever he wasn’t looking. He wrote his number down on a napkin for her. When they were afforded a small moment of privacy, he pulled something from his pocket.

“I need you to take care of this for me, okay?” He handed her a silver necklace with his ring around it. “I have to see my maw when I get back and I think she’d lose her mind if she thought I eloped. Can you keep it safe for me till I see you again?”

She looked at him, tears springing up in the corners of her eyes as her bottom lip trembled. He kissed her. It was tender with his hand cupping the back of her head.

“Six weeks and I’ll take you on a proper date, aye?”

“Yeah.” He helped her put the necklace on.

“Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it. Just you and me.” He kissed her cheek.

She knew he would see him again. Laswell was going to drop off a phone for her tomorrow so they could talk. Six weeks wasn’t long compared to twelve years. She would sleep through most of it. His reassurances and sweet words didn’t help much when he gave her one last kiss goodbye. He was trying not to cry too.

“Call me whenever, Nina. I mean it.” He would have stood in that doorway forever if Gaz hadn’t tugged him away. “Six weeks, it’s a date.”

“A date.” She smiled.

And he was gone.

“Six weeks,” she told herself. “Just six weeks.”

Tag List: @yeyinde @queen-ilmaree @yearningforsappho @mykneeshurt @gogh-with-the-flow

LMK if you want to be added for this or any other fic 💗

#Don't Blame Me #John Soap Mactavish x OC #john soap mactavish #cod mw22 #cod mwii #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #my writing

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anyathefandom · 1 year

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I feel behind on GH right now (probably because I am because I just haven't been wanting to watch GH. Legit been procrastinating on watching these episodes since last Wednesday 🙈) but what I'm getting from what I've seen from the timeline is (this is going to be soooo out of order):

Trina is still insisting that her and Spencer are just friends and we all know she's not being upfront on wanting more than friendship because she doesn't want to put herself in the position to be hurt again by Spencer and you can tell Spencer senses it too so that's why he tells her point blank that he will never hurt her again.

Fuck the Ashford men (expect for tj) forever. They need to stop being fucking nosey and keep their eyes in check.

Portia is still trying to beef with Jordan about Curtis of all people.

Trina is excited to go on her date support Spencer at Britt's memorial

Everybody on the timeline has gotten as fed up as me with Carly and Nina's lame ass rivalry. End that shit writers. RIGHT TF NEOW🙃

Crew banged. Really wished drew got the neil treatment post sex. Like where TF is a psycho with a needle when you need them.🤷

Willow is still being a dumbass. Like at this point let the bitch die if she wants to so bad. Like please frank hire me as an extra bringing out the body bag.🙃 Also it's still unbelievable to me that she's a nurse.

Rory is still being refered to as just Trina's friend.🤭

Stella is about to be messy asf at this wedding about Trina's paternity.💅

Ava seems to be officially done with Nik and is just disgusted by his very being. Also good on her for getting wyndemere. Cheers to her!🍸 sidenote: Still bitter that ViVa didn't rise and we didn't have them having sex all over wyndemere just to fuck up Nikolas's day.😢

Spencer basically: So do you think I'm ready to be a father? Trina: Umm what I think doesn't matter. Spencer: You matter to me so what you say matters🫶Trina with love: Oh then Hell no.❤️

I know something is going down with Austin and Ava but I genuinely don't know because everytime I see Austin I just ⏭️ so is it worth investing in y'all???👀

Cody still continues to be a thing which is beyond me.

it's still FREE SASHA all day every day

Also one thing about Vanna is that their either fucking or about to fuck and I love that for them.🌝

Sidenote: Legit wished drew wasn't back to kissing Carly's ass so soon because we could've gotten one night stand Jordan x drew. Hear me out. Drew who is now done with Carly is either part of Curtis's wedding party or just at the wedding as a guest runs into Portia and they start to catch up. Things go to shit at the wedding and Jordan feels exceptionally great about Portia x Curtis wedding blowing up so she celebrates by having sex with drew.

Nik and liz's mom were having a bitch off and a long the way Nik asked her mom for a favor regarding suppressing esme's memories permanently.

I saw the preview for tomorrow and I have a feeling that ava is about to give Spencer the video of nik confessing to throwing Esme over the parapet and "killing" her. I could see Spencer showing him the video and threatening Nik to surrender his parental rights and therefore Nik will probably leave town since he's burned a lot of his bridges and now he won't even have the do over baby to keep him around.

#general hospital

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xtrastorageblog · 1 year

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Thoughts on the new video!

Ok so obviously Future Angel "communicated" with Past Angel. I believe Angel realized that if they defended themselves the Earth would explode and they don't want that. So that's why they asked to die. So the things I'm most curious about are ...

1. Angel physically gets bigger by like a foot (goes from Freedoms shins to her thigh). Is that because those neurons physically joined him? Like the future Angel's men split and one joined past Angel and that's why they bigger?? I know this is such a minor thing but Alex never does anything just because

2. Freedoms back 🎉 it makes sense, since angel winning the fight means the earth exploding. The only other two options would be either Angel evades her for ever which is a lot, or they let themselves get killed :( How quickly she killed them though was so fast, it makes me wonder if she even registered?? What he said, like she was just going in for the kill anyways.

It's always interested me how Angel is 17 army men, like you think they would be the inhuman monster. How does 17 men who probably knew each other for a few months (they were just in an army troop not bffs) learn to get along so well that they can agree on what to say?? And be so mad at the world, they have every right to be and yet they never attack innocents or want to destroy the world but to be left alone (but they don't want to be the only being on Earth)

While freedom, she used to be a man with a wife and a daughter, they are a father and daughter and yes he got what he wanted (slaughtering Americans and I'm sur Nina's ok with it because 'theyre bad people') but he made that choice to be freedom and yet she wants to put skin on herself and look human... Like what a living contradiction to what to look human and yet your actions make you more of a monster than anything else.

I said all that because I think we're going to be seeing more of Freedom...can't wait lol (I don't hate her she just creeps me the fuck out, great villain tho)

Thanks for reading!

#my thots #monument mythos #freedom #air force one angel

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yackers · 2 years

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hiiiii, joy and mara for the character thing

thank you!

JOY:

Why I like them: she's so well developed and funny and she just feels so real?? like I love female characters with actual flaws that they learn from its so much nicer than her just being perfect from the get go.

Why I don’t: I mean the nina article?? its kinda obvious tho. also maybe her involvement in jerome and mara's relationship at the very beginning of s3 like i get it and she was just being a good friend but I feel like if mara made more of those decisions herself then maybe the heartbreak would've hurt her less?? idk its pretty minor. also the fabian kiss(es) because.....

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the scene where she takes over the class and her scene with jerome where she tells them to be the bigger person

Favorite season/movie: three!!!

Favorite line: “aw eddie, someone already invented spaghetti bolognese”

Favorite outfit: her s3 uniform

OTP: jeroy

Brotp: joytricia, mara and joy, joy and alfie, idk most people

Head Canon: she has a cat named bella after bella from twilight lol

Unpopular opinion: I understand where people are coming from when they say the joy and nina plotline was unnecessary and some parts definitely were but idk I liked joy's arc in s2 I think it was a realistic teenage girl reaction to coming back to your home and finding that someone else has kinda taken your place. I like complex female relationships and I think in the end it was worth doing. also, I like that the fabian thing did follow into s3. like yeah maybe it could feel a little repetitive but with nina gone I think she needed real closure, not just stepping aside for the sake of someone else but to actually get a real answer and move on to have her arc where she found herself was far more real than just having her show up at the beginning of the season with a new look and attitude with no real growth idk I love her

A wish: idk a scene at the end of s3 or tor where she and patricia jus got to be friends and talk a little about everything idk

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: a reboot lol idk unless its done exclusively done by the people who did the sbtb reboot I don't ever wanna see a yassified 2022 version of her character development

5 words to best describe them: idkkkkk I don't like this part

My nickname for them: ?

MARA:

Why I like them: she so real and flawed and manages to be smart without slotting into the nerd archetype where she like hates fun and she's unapologetic about who she is and she’s die hard for her friends and I really appreciate that

Why I don’t: people in the show wince at some of the problematic shit she does (if they even know about it) but like the show doesn’t hold her accountable for much?? she keeps making the same kind of mistakes for the entire run of the show without really learning from them because no one ever makes her?? she has a massive problem with boundaries and knowing when to step back and mind her business.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): s3 revenge arc and tor

Favorite season/movie: same as above

Favorite line: “We better hurry because it’s 93 million miles away! Science joke I’ll explain on the way”

Favorite outfit: i don't knowww lol her graduation gown

OTP: mickara

Brotp: joy and mara, patricia and mara, alfie and mara, eddie and mara

Head Canon: she was only put in boarding school in secondary school because of her parents’ travelling and busy schedules due to their careers as famous sports people and previous to that she was home schooled. she has a great relationship with her parents

Unpopular opinion: she was wayyy too in jerome’s business in s2 like to get that involved in his family and almost manipulate jerome’s feelings for her in order to get poppy what she wanted was too much like he was obsessed with her and still you could tell he was on the verge of snapping. and to write that article about eddie and jerome’s relationships with their fathers based purely on what they’d told her in confidence and then publish it without their permission?? in a place eddie’s dad could literally read it whilst barely concealing their identities?? that was kinda fucked. and people say her comment about jerome’s dad in s3 was out of left field but like she was saying shit like “do you want to end up like your dad” in s2 she’s always had this sense of moral superiority about the situation and being mad was all it took for that to properly come out. like she's such an interesting character but she’s definitely among the more sheltered of the house.

A wish: I just want her to be happy, see a therapist, figure some things out.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: people who say she’d never talk to anyone from anubis again you're so wrong that’s her family!!

5 words to best describe them: -

My nickname for them: I honestly ??

#these are so long im sorry #ask game #house of anubis #ask #speaknowtv

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