#I get that. but it's not dead experience just because Galaxy has more experience and is successful. it's still valid experience.

[papiliotao]

꒰ 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 !! ✩࿐

pairings: albedo, alhaitham, childe, cyno, heizou, kazuha, scaramouche, and xiao x gn!reader (separate)

content: fluff, very light angst in xiao’s and childe’s (they still ends with fluff though), kissing, established relationship

summary: in which your boyfriend tells you that he loves you, but instead of returning his sentiments, you decide to mess with him by not saying it back.

a/n: i said that i’d post soon like two weeks ago... oops. nonetheless, i hope you have fun reading this!

₊˚ପ ALBEDO

“What’s the matter?” Albedo asks, tilting his head slightly as the words fall from the tip of his tongue. Vivid teal eyes fill with hints of concern that dance through his irises loftily in a flurry of iridescent petals.

Albedo is worried, but he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing. For now, he’ll test the waters of an unexplored ocean and scope out the situation, hoping that he’s just reading too much into things.

“Nothing,” you answer, tilting your head innocently as if you don’t have a clue what Albedo’s talking about.

Your boyfriend is perplexed, but he’s not an idiot. He’s often been regarded as a genius, and he’s spent almost as much time reading the sentimental words engraved into your heart as he has conducting his experiments. Albedo is absolutely captivated by you because you never fail to leave him fascinated and awe-struck. So naturally, he’s managed to pick up on all your subtle habits and all your strange quirks.

And right now, the expression on your face tells him that something is off. A missing brushstroke on a panoramic painting. A sour note in an otherwise enchanting composition. A sparkling daydream where you feel just a little too lucid.

You know exactly what he’s talking about. You’re just feigning ignorance.

Now all Albedo has to do is figure out why.

“I see,” he whispers under his breath in a tone so soft that even a light breeze would whisk his words off to neverland.

Albedo’s gaze remains fixated on you, his eyebrows scrunched and eyes narrowed.

Then a barely-audible chuckle leaves your lips. You stifle it in an instant, but Albedo has committed the melodic sound of your laugh to memory.

And suddenly everything makes sense.

You’re trying to get a reaction out of him, but sadly for you, you seem to have forgotten one key detail. Albedo is used to solving issues in a calm manner, his temperament akin to aquatic drafts that gently caress the surface of a crystal ocean. Cool and controlled.

“Ah, I understand now,” he says, and your eyes widen. The expression on your face rivals the beauty of a night sky dotted with various asterisms. You’re utterly ethereal. The corners of Albedo’s lips turn up, graced with a smile that shines with the light of a million stars. “You thought you could fool me, but unfortunately, you just gave yourself away.”

A pause. The tension within the air thaws, and the atmosphere becomes light-hearted once more.

“I’m not mad,” he clarifies, staring you dead in the eye, “but I would, however, appreciate it if you could make it up to me.”

₊˚ପ ALHAITHAM

Alhaitham is unfazed.

He sees right through you. You didn’t seriously think this was going to work on him, right? It didn’t take him long to get used to your antics when you first got together, and although you haven’t tried to play as many pranks on him as of late, it’s difficult to erase the devious grin you don whenever you’re up to something from his mind. Nor has the sly look in your eyes slipped from his memory.

Your boyfriend’s ability to read you is almost prophetic — a prediction of the future, yet no stars are read and no omens are required. He makes his predictions based on logic and logic alone.

And unfortunately for you, you don’t possess the same capabilities.

When you ignore Alhaitham’s honeyed words, turning your back to walk away with a coldness reminiscent of the farthest outreaches of the galaxy, he simply shrugs it off and heads to your living room to read a book. He sinks comfortably into a plush armchair, knowing full well that you’ll be back in no time.

Just four pages in, and Alhaitham hears the sound of footsteps echoing down the hallways, filling your shared home with a familiar sort of music. It’s only a few more seconds before he feels a tap on his shoulder — a touch that brings him back to reality entirely, away from the realm of scholarly pursuits.

“Is there anything you need?” Alhaitham asks, meeting your gaze with eyes tinted a turquoise found only in the most pristine of diamond waters. He remains as stoic as ever, not allowing so much as a single hint of emotion to show through his front.

You stare at him, dumbfound, for a few moments. Alhaitham knows what you’re thinking. He’s normally so observant — nothing ever slips past him, and yet this time, he failed to acknowledge the fact that you didn’t respond to his ‘I love you’. Besides that, it’s rather rare for Alhaitham to allow those words to leave his lips in the first place. He prefers to reserve them for tender moments, times where it feels like the only beings present in the vast universe are the two of you. You expected him to be more alert, and yet, Alhaitham has subverted all your expectations.

And it’s all part of his plan.

But then your eyes widen, filling with a light signaling that you’ve just experienced an epiphany. Alhaitham can tell that you’ve realized what he’s up to, and that your little scheme has backfired entirely.

“About earlier,” you start, assuming that Alhaitham already knows what you’re referring to.

Alhaitham smiles.

“What about it?” he questions you, acting oblivious even though both of you know Alhaitham would never be that clueless.

“You acted like you didn’t notice on purpose, didn’t you?” You’re pouting, but your irritation is clearly feigned. Alhaitham knows you like the back of his hand, and although messing with you produces some entertaining results, he would never go so far as to hurt you.

A rare smile graces Alhaitham’s face, as stunning as vivid ribbons of celestial light that compose an illustrious aurora. He’s not typically one to express emotion, but he can’t help himself. You’re just far too irresistible, and if there’s one thing he has a soft spot for, it’s you.

“My apologies,” he speaks in his usual calm tone. “I just couldn’t help myself — not when I knew I’d be able to bear witness to such an adorable display of anger.”

₊˚ପ CHILDE

The silence that hangs in the air is tangible — a thick veil of unspoken words, all consolidated into glacial fractals that cause the atmosphere to glaze over. An icy sort of tension permeates the moment, crystallizing the ambience and morphing it into something fragile.

And everything shatters when your boyfriend speaks.

“[Name],” he frowns, gazing at you with periwinkle hues devoid of illumination. He sighs, swallowing his pride. “Say it back. Please.”

A blank look fills your eyes, morphing once-lively galaxies into monochromatic jumbles of nonsense. For once, Childe can’t tell what you’re thinking, and that scares him. Either you’re messing with him, and you’re an exceptionally good actor, or you’re being serious.

“Say what back?” you say, cluelessness filling your tone filling your tone.

Childe is dumbfounded. It’s true that he tells you he loves you quite often, but he didn’t think that you’d become so accustomed to it that his words would no longer hold any weight. Although he finds it slightly odd, he supposes that even the most precious of glittering gemstones becomes mundane when fortune is the norm. But that doesn’t mean he’s any less disappointed.

“You really can’t tell?” he sighs yet again. He averts his gaze, looking anywhere but at you.

You shake your heart, and yet as you do, he catches a subtle flash of gilded lightning flash through your irises, setting your expression ablaze with hints of mischief. It vanishes as quickly as it appeared, but Childe knows what he saw. The initial melancholy that gripped his heart with cold fingers borne of frost dissipates, and in its place, amusement arises.

Silence. Shock. Disbelief.

And then he bursts out in a fit of sonorous laughter, the sheer volume of each chuckle rivalling that of an intense tempest.

Your eyes widen. It seems that you didn’t expect to be found out, but Childe has known you for long enough to be able to read your emotions. He’s spent an eternity exploring every nuance of your personality — every subtlety and every quirk, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And he loves every part of you.

That’s why he never fails to express his adoration whenever the opportunity is presented in evanescent moments like these. Although times like these sound like they’d be rare, they’re not when he’s by your side. Every second is filled with bliss, and despite the instances where azure skies are painted a dull grey and sapphire oceans turn tumultuous, he always knows that everything will be alright.

“I should have known,” he says. “You were just teasing me.”

Busted.

In less than a minute, your boyfriend has exposed all your plans, and you have no choice but to admit defeat.

“I was,” you admit, hanging your head.

Childe laughs, but once he settles down, he cups your chin in one hand and lifts your head to meet his gaze. With a surprising amount of tenderness, he closes the distance between your lips. Inch by inch.

You lean in as well. Time slows, and he forgets how to breathe. Even though he was the one who initiated the kiss, he finds you utterly enchanting. The beating of his heart speeds up, becoming erratic, desperate for the sensation of your soft lips pressed against his.

And then it happens. Although Childe had been looking for a verbal affirmation of love, this is even better. Fireworks seem to burst in the edges of his vision, painting the world in vivid shades of phosphorescent crimson and rose.

₊˚ପ CYNO

“Say it back. There’s no need to continue on with this prank of yours because cy-no you’re only joking,” he says. His voice is as monotone as ever, as tranquil as cerulean seas beneath a sky dotted with snowy white clouds.

His words provoke no response from you. You simply stare at him, too shocked to speak.

“Do you get it? Because Cyno is my name, and ‘cy’ sounds a little bit like ‘I’ while ‘no’ sounds like ‘know’.”

Cyno watches as your features scrunch in a twist of disbelief, embarrassment, and fear. He internally chuckles, secretly delighting in the adorable expression adorning your face.

Your reactions are always priceless, worth more than the most precious of gold and the most luxurious of diamonds. Because basking in the splendor of your smile is true opulence.

“Okay, okay,” you giggle, the embers of mischief within your eyes flickering, “you win. Please stop with the puns. I can’t take it anymore.” Your tone is playful, light.

The corners of Cyno’s lips turn up slightly as a smile graces his features. He’s well aware that your exasperation is feigned — nothing more than an exaggeration fabricated in order to tease him a little. Besides, if you didn’t like his sense of humour, you wouldn’t even be dating him right now.

“Victory is mine,” Cyno speaks triumphantly in a tone full of a hyperbolic sort of grandeur.

He feels light-hearted for the first time in a while, and it’s in that moment, that fraction of a second, that Cyno realizes something.

Your presence is liberating.

When he’s with you, he’s free from the troubles of daily life. With you, the responsibilities that go hand-in-hand with his status are put on hold, allowing him some time to truly experience what it’s like to be unburdened. With you, he’s not the General Mahamatra, one of the most renowned figures within Sumeru. 

He’s just Cyno.

He feels his grin widen as he opens his mouth to speak once more.

“I love you,” he repeats his words from earlier, his tone one of pure adoration and bliss. The beating of his heart picks up, setting a new tempo that seems just right for the moment, a perfect backing for a myriad of silent declarations.

That seems to do the trick because you admit defeat without hesitation and utter the same words back with an extra one following in tandem.

“I love you too.”

₊˚ପ HEIZOU

“Oh? Do you not love me anymore?” Heizou confronts the problem head-on, feigning sadness. A smirk spreads across his face when he sees your confused expression, but he manages to erase it in an instant, deceiving even the eyes of his partner.

You should have known better than to play a prank of this sort on him. After all, Heizou’s always been one to turn your tricks against you.

As soon as your eyes widen and your jaw drops, Heizou knows that he’s won. To his relief, you don’t notice the way his verdant pools of peridot sparkle with mischief. You’re too absorbed in your panic to sense that anything is off.

He has to continuously stifle bouts of laughter. Heizou finds your reactions slightly too cute.

“N-No! I didn’t mean it like that!” you blurt out in a tone laced with desperation. “I’m sorry. I should have known that you would have noticed something was off. You’re always so perceptive,” you speak sheepishly, averting your gaze. “I just wanted to see how you’d react if I didn’t say it back…”

Heizou chuckles.

“You’re too cute, darling,” he muses, staring you straight in the eyes. “Fortunately for you, my intuition told me that you were just messing with me.”

You groan.

“Of course you figured it out,” you sigh.

Heizou can’t help but mentally agree. He’s already used to solving mysteries, and the fact that the two of you are so close doesn’t quite work to your advantage. Your boyfriend knows you like the back of his hand, and unfortunately for you, he enjoys the thrill of piecing together the puzzles you craft in an attempt to elicit reactions from him.

“I think I deserve a reward for cracking this case,” he says, pointing a finger at his lips.

When Heizou sees your eyes light up, glowing with the opalescent radiance of a nebula, he knows he’s about to get what he wants.

With one quick movement, you lean in nervously to place a shy kiss on Heizou’s lips, clearly still embarrassed by your failure. When you pull away, you take a few steps backwards before gazing deep into your boyfriend’s eyes. In that moment, Heizou realizes that the sentiments swirling through your irises — feelings embodied by the warm hues of a dying sunset — are nothing but sincere.

₊˚ପ KAZUHA

Kazuha knows you’re teasing him. From the subtle grin you’re trying to hide to the mischievous light dancing within your star-flecked irises, it’s not difficult to discern that you’re teasing him.

But despite everything, he decides to play along.

“I love you,” he repeats, gently taking your hand in his. He plants a gentle kiss on the back of your hand, a charming habit more than a calculated measure.

Kazuha glances up at you and smiles — a gentle expression that lights up your day with rays of golden sunshine. In a single flash, your cheekiness vanishes, and instead, an awestruck gaze paints itself across your face.

Kazuha suppresses a giggle. Far too often, he finds himself enamoured with you, especially when you’re flustered. He attempts to memorize the sight before him, engraving every dip and curve of your facial features into his memories.

You’re just far too endearing for him to resist, and besides, you’re his muse. Kazuha isn’t exactly sure how he knows it, but somehow, he’s certain that someday this moment will undergo a metamorphosis within a hall of crystallized memories, transforming from a fond recollection of the past to strings of eloquently phrased words — a haiku.

You look absolutely captivated by him, and although he didn’t intentionally try to send your heart into a frenzy of vivid daydreams and rose-tinted adoration, he’s glad you find him so attractive. A few seconds pass before you give in.

“I love you too,” you whisper breathlessly, grinning at Kazuha before leaving for the day. As soon as you’re out the door, Kazuha chuckles, eyes containing the essence of autumn mingling with a bright moonglow, swirling with amusement.

“I love you more.”

₊˚ପ SCARAMOUCHE

Scaramouche is confused, but he tries his best not to show it. He’s fairly certain that the two of you haven’t argued recently, so why is it that you’re not reciprocating his affections?

Although Scaramouche acts like he doesn’t care sometimes, he knows all your small habits. And as your lover, he finds it odd that you aren’t uttering those three powerful words back. That coupled with the fact that it’s rather difficult for him to express his feelings makes him desperate for a response.

“Are you forgetting something?” he grumbles, not wanting to seem too desperate. Deep down, his emotions cause whirlwinds of conflicting thoughts to swirl in his mind.

He watches as you blink — slowly, gradually as if you want to stretch seconds into eons. A frown etches itself into his forehead, and he feels irritation begin to overtake his heart. Storm clouds, tinted an ominous grey, overwhelm the ambience.

Finally, after what feels like forever, you shake your head.

“I don’t think so,” you tell him.

Scaramouche’s features twist into a pout, and he crosses his arms in front of his chest. Yet at the same time, your boyfriend is embarrassed beyond measure. He feels his cheeks heating up, and he’s absolutely sure that shades of pink reminiscent of a sunrise have begun to dust his pale cheeks.

“Fine,” he breathes out, rolling his eyes and turning away. “Forget it. I’ll see you tonight.” Scaramouche tries to brush it off casually, attempting to erase the odd experience from memory.

He want nothing more than to hear you say those three words back, but he’s far too proud to admit it.

He nearly walks away before he feels a firm grip on his shoulder.

“Wait,” you say. “I was just kidding.”

Scaramouche groans. He turns around in order to face you.

“How irritating,” he sighs. He brushes his hair, silken strands spun of midnight, away from in front of his eyes. Scaramouche can’t believe you were able to sense his vulnerability.

You giggle upon seeing Scaramouche’s grumpy face.

“You owe me for this,” he states.

“I know,” you whisper, stepping closer to him and leaning in.

Scaramouche feels his breath hitch, and before he knows what’s happening, the sensation of your warm lips against his overwhelms his senses. Sparks fly in the edges of his vision, and soon enough, a passionate fire is set ablaze in a grand display of crimson elation.

Although you didn’t say anything in response when he told you he loved you, your wordless exchange of adoration speaks volumes.

I love you.

₊˚ପ XIAO

Xiao sucks in a quiet breath as you turn away from him. It’s not often that he expresses his affection verbally, and the fact that you’re barely responding to his declaration of love is unnerving.

He looks down, strands of seafoam obscuring his gaze, blocking eyes of honeyed amber from your line of sight. However, he raises his head after only a few seconds, attempting to ignore the feeling of unease creeping up on him, freezing his very being with a subtle chill. It’s barely there — a pain nowhere near the sting of a frostbite — yet it still eats away at him, reminding him again and again that something is wrong.

But although Xiao wants to ask you if anything’s bothering you or if he did something to upset you, he can’t. Translating his emotions into words feels far too difficult, especially because in all honestly, this situation is probably no big deal — or so he tells himself. Your nonchalance contrasts with his overthinking, causing doubt to well up within his mind.

In the end, he allows you to leave, wallowing within an aquamarine sea of thoughts. The world has been painted a watercolour blue. Although he refuses to admit it, melancholy overtakes Xiao’s heart, as he’s now both confused and lost.

Did he upset you?

The idea doesn’t seem too outlandish. Xiao’s never been good at interpreting emotions or expressing them, and it’s one of his greatest insecurities as your boyfriend. He’s gotten better over time, but there are times where he still worries about being too oblivious to your feelings.

Unfortunately for Xiao, you’re out for the day, so there’s plenty of time for negative thoughts to ruminate in his mind, festering until they reach the point of becoming a soulless black hole, draining every bit of confidence from him.

As the skies outside the glass windows of your shared home begin to tint with a rosy blush, and a golden light paints the world in shades of ephemeral warmth, Xiao becomes restless. You’ll be back any moment, and then, he’ll have to face you. Anticipation causes his heart to beat in a frenzy as the minute of your arrival approaches.

And sure enough, you return at the exact time you always do.

As soon as you walk through the door, Xiao walks over to greet you, gauging your reactions. When you see him, the corners of your lips turn up in an ethereal smile, and the rest of your face lights up.

Your delighted expression takes Xiao aback. He didn’t expect such a pleasant greeting after the events of this morning, but he brushes it off, allowing a grin to dance across his features in tandem, reciprocating your look of absolute adoration.

“I missed you,” he whispers, stepping closer to you in order to gently take your hand in his.

To assure himself that you’re here in the moment. That nothing’s wrong.

He sighs contently when you don’t pull away. The solace of your intertwined fingers is akin to the tidings of a viridescent spring after countless days of pure white dusting a panoramic landscape. It’s a breath of fresh air after eons spent hyperventilating in the frigidness of a crystallized wasteland, silently fading away amongst seas of sparkling snow.

Xiao can finally breathe again.

And when he laters asks why you didn’t return the three precious words he uttered under his breath earlier that day, as the sun had just begun bathing the world in aureate light, your answer causes his face to heat up.

It was nothing more than a prank.

disappearing back into my gremlin cave for another fifty years now!! thank you so much for reading!

#r.archives *ೃ༄ #favoniuslibrary #alhaitham x reader #childe x reader #cyno x reader #scaramouche x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #heizou x reader #albedo x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin x you #genshin fluff

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Simon "Ghost" Riley NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: 18+, smut, mentions of spanking, mentions of knife play, mentions of somnophilia, mentions of bondage, possessive Ghost, mentions of masturbation, mentions of breeding kink, mentions of being mugged, marking, just general smut

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

This man will NOT rest until you are satisfied, both during and after sex.

You name it - a bath, massage, satin bedsheets and chocolate - it's yours.

He knows how hard it is to take all of him given both his sheer size and how rough he can be, so he knows you deserve nothing less than the best for your service.

He never thought he'd be on the giving end of the whole "Thank you for your service" speech.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: His legs, particularly his thighs. Loves how strong they are and how much you like them, too.

Have been many occasions where you've called him "dummy thick", thus leading to him actually acknowledging how large his thighs are.

Enjoys bending you over his thigh and spanking you. Period.

Yours: Anything he can mark. Which is everything.

Man will find a way to make sure you look like you've been JUMPED by how many hickeys he leaves on your body.

And if it weren't for their placement - on your neck, chest and between your thighs - people would likely assume you had been mugged.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Will cum inside you at any given opportunity.

After fucking you raw for the first time, he can't go back to wearing condoms now.

He will if you ask him, but you both enjoy the feeling when he doesn't.

Will absolutely cover you in his cum btw. And I mean c o v e r - for therapeutic purpuses.

"Therapeutic" meaning he wants to show you who owns you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Takes a pair of your underwear with him when he's called back on duty.

They remind him of your touch, your body. Make him feel a little less closer to you.

Also uses them to jack off; man is busting a fat nut whenever he's holding your underwear in one hand and milking himself with the other.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

In theory, very, but he's had few-to-no chances of getting to exercise his galaxy brain knowledge.

That said, he knows exactly which buttons to press to have you crying under him. And is not ashamed to abuse that power.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

If you're AFAB: Missionary. Loves watching his cock bulge in your stomach as he ploughs into you. Your parted lips and pleading sobs are a source of intoxicating validation for him that he is the only man you'll ever want or need. He's just making sure you know that, too.

If you're AMAB: Doggy style. He threads one hand through your hand and grips it, pulling your head back to whisper obscenities in your ear. He's pushing down on the small of your back with his other hand, making sure you're not getting away from him that easily.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Dead serious.

If y'all fucking, it's either because he's showing you the most vulnerable, exposed corners of his love for you, and humour has no place in the bedroom at a time like this; or he's angry. Either way, the only smile he's cracking is one of sheer love or absolute cruelty.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

When he's away, he doesn't need to keep himself trimmed or presentable since no-one's going to be seeing that part of him.

When he's home, however, he'll get himself into hair and makeup if that's your preference. But there will be times when he forgets or simply can't be bothered, but he'll try his best :-).

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

In the bedroom, nothing else exists aside from you and him.

He'll pour his soul out to you through physical touch rather than words, unless he's feeling particularly sentimental and needs you to hear how much you mean to him, how good you make him feel (both sexually and non-sexually).

Makes intense eye contact with you throughout, half-lidded and eyes glazed with the impenetrable sheen of lust and love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he's away, he'll jack off once every 2-3 days, his line of work making it difficult for him to have enough time alone to: 1.) get hard, and 2.) jack off.

When he's home, he rarely does it because he doesn't need to. He has you, and you've never turned him down, nor has he you. But if you've fallen asleep and he's still horny, and you didn't agree to partaking in somnophilia or he doesn't want to wake you, he'll deal with the issue himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Oh boy, here we go *cracks knuckles*.

Breeding kink - he wants complete ownership of you, and having part of him literally inside you is the best way he goes about it. That, and he just wants to have a happy family (aww).

Somnophilia (as previously discussed) - just something about you trusting him enough to handle your unconscious body sends him feral.

Size kink - man's massive, you're not. Likes having his ego stroked by seeing his cock bulging inside you. Need there be more said?

Knife kink - again with the trust; it means a lot to him.

Bondage - please see above. This man is a top through and through and he thrives off people being at his mercy.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

At home, in the bedroom, shower, living room - anywhere familiar enough that he feels safe.

Not just for his sake, but for yours, too.

He needs to be somewhere secure so he can protect you.

He knows the layout of the house and so feels most confident there. Means he can relax and take his time with you.

Also means nobody else will have their prying eyes all over you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just you.

But if you do something that makes him remember just how special you make him feel (so basically anything), he is down horrendous.

Will not let you go until you've felt the full extent of his love.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Any form of bodily harm.

He's terrified of hurting you.

With knife play, it's different because he can control his strength and knows he's not going to cut you deep enough (if at all) to leave any permanent scars or damage).

And thus will avoid any possible scenario where he could end up breaking that streak.

Also wouldn't have a threesome or a couple swap.

You're his and his alone, and his soul belongs to you.

He wouldn't see anyone else as a threat and more so a mockery, and trust that Ghost does not like his ego being injured.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves receiving and giving.

He's a simple man; he sees an opportunity for head, he takes it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on the mood.

He usually enjoys going slow and pressing scorching kisses to your body if you or him want to. But when he's angry or wants to finish, he'll go fast and rough (given that you want it and can stand it).

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn't partake in them.

He likes to take his time with you, even if he's angry-fucking.

He'll draw out the entire experience for as long as you can stay awake to feel it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's open-minded and will try anything you want to and will perform it to the best of his ability.

Unless it's anything to do with involving someone else.

He will not share you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Too many.

He'll outlast you by a good three rounds given his rigorous military training, patience, and behemoth build.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Doesn't own many, if any, since you've only ever needed each other to be satisfied.

Would be open-minded if you wanted to experiment, though.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If he's feeling patient, he'll refuse to penetrate you, instead poking and prodding and stroking anywhere but where you need him most.

After that, he'll just edge you for hours until he knows you can't take it anymore.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Can be vocal but will usually grunt or groan.

Isn't a natural moaner like Konig or Alejandro, but that doesn't mean your touch doesn't drive him to the edge of insanity.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You are the light of his life and will not hesitate to stop if he thinks he's hurt you in a way you're not into.

You'll have to reassure him many times before you can continue that yes, you're okay. No, you don't need an ice pack.

He only does it because he has the upmost respect for you and loves you with every fibre the universe has to offer.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

8 inches, very girthy.

Struggles fitting it in sometimes; it burns when he pushes into you if you don't have time to be warmed up, but that doesn't stop the two of you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

When he's away: he's in dangerous situations more often than not, so he doesn't really get the chance to havea sex drive. However, as mentioned earlier, he'll jack off every 2-3 days, so pretty average.

When he's at home: he can and will go at any time. If you want to spend the whole day in bed, then so be it; Ghost's not one to say no to someone in peril.

Would spend every day with you like that if he could.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends on if you want or need aftercare after the fact.

If you don't, he'll wait until you've fallen asleep and join you.

But if he's giving you aftercare, he'll wait until you're tucked in bed and wait until you fall asleep.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

NSFW Alphabet Template by @the-coldest-goodbye

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley smut #ghost x reader #mw2 ghost x reader #cod mw2 ghost #cod ghost x reader #mw2 x reader #mw2 smut #mw2 fanfic #cod mw2 fanfic

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i would love to hear your dark spore rant. i didnt even know spore had a sequel.

Oh anon. Poor sweet anon. I’m so sorry.

So, the thing about Darkspore is…

… it was a really REALLY… mediocre game.

Like, the moment to moment gameplay was… fine. Just fine. Not incredible. But not BAD! Really, it only had two major flaws:

The first, it was buggy as hell. One particularly nasty bug was present in the games launcher, and on certain systems the game would fail to install at all. They were unable to ever fix this bug, which I speculate was a major reason the game was abandoned by the devs so quickly and lead to it being taken down from every major digital distribution site. You could still install and play it if you already bought it though! If… it actually installed for you.

Which leads us to the second flaw. It’s right there on the box.

“Internet connection required”

The game has Always Online DRM. All the levels, enemies, loot, your entire account, was all stored server side. And servers are expensive. So, when the games bugs became unwieldy and not worth fixing, and they took it offline… it became a money sink. It was a game generating ZERO revenue, but had huge server maintenance costs. So eventually, they just shut down the servers.

It is now very difficult to obtain the game, requiring you to buy one of the few unopened physical copies remaining. And even once you do have it, it is IMPOSSIBLE to play. There is a project called Resurrection Capsule in the works, some fans trying to create a private server for it. But with so much info stored server side, they basically have to recreate entire subsystems from scratch. It’s… not going very fast, and to my knowledge hasn’t been touched in over a year.

Story

The story of the game is pretty basic. A progenitor race of alien super-scientists create a new, synthetic form of DNA, called Exponential-DNA, or E-DNA. This rapidly mutates to create new life, and can be guided to create specific, specialized organisms, condensing thousands of years of evolution to a few hours. It can also be injected into existing creatures to alter them and make them more powerful. However it also linked everything affected by it into a hivemind. So it was outlawed. The creator of it decided to respond by creating a E-DNA virus, called The Darkspore, infecting himself with it, and spreading it across the galaxy and conquering it, wiping out his own race.

You play as another member of that race, who has been in hibernation for 1000 years while that was going down. Your ship AI has woken you up because it has managed to stabilize E-DNA and also keep it disconnected from the hivemind, and needs you to go kill the guy who took over the galaxy. That is how the game starts.

…

And how the story ends. There is not really any more story past that part. You get a cutscene describing each of the games 6 planets the first time you visit it, and a final “Hey you won!” cutscene after killing the final boss which ends with the cliche “implication the villain isn’t really dead” trope, and… that’s it. That’s the entire story. Not really the selling point of this game. Its not even entirely clear if it takes place in the same universe as Spore! It’s just set dressing for “Run through these 24 levels and beat everything up”

Gameplay

Darkspore was created by Maxis. This alone was HUGE. This was a team of developers who only really made lifesims like The Sims and Sim City, taking a stab at making a diablolike game.

And I GENUINELY BELIEVE every single studio out there needs to do shit like this. Designing for something so outside your wheelhouse creates SOOOOO much innovation so quickly. You get fresh new ideas injected into the genre so quickly. The final product won’t be good! You don’t have any damn experience in the genre! But it will create something unique beautiful, and god damn I wish we lived in a world where that alone was enough and devs weren’t focused on chasing profits instead.

Genesis

Genesis is just a fancy way of saying ‘Element’. There are 5 of them: Plasma (fire and lightning), Bio (plants and animals), Cyber (machines), Necro (death and fear), and Quantum (space and time) and the way they interact is… certainly a choice I guess. Each Darkspore you face has a genesis it falls into, and each of your heroes has one as well. If your Genesis matches that of the darkspore you are fighting at the moment, you take double damage and they take half damage. If they don’t match, all damage both ways is neutral.

The system itself is kinda mediocre. The biggest part of it, however, is the Variant Skills. Each Genesis has 4 unique skills tied to it that represent the common elements of that type.

Heroes

There are 25 heroes in the game, which each have one Genesis and one Class (Sentinel which are the tanks, Ravagers which are the DPS, and Tempest which are the Casters/Support)

Each hero has 4 total variants, with the first one you unlock being Alpha, and as you level up your account (heroes do not have their own levels) you eventually can purchase their Beta, Gamma, and Delta variants, with each variant having slightly different stats, and a different one of their Genesis’ 4 variant abilities.

Each hero has a unique basic attack, which USUALLY has a little extra to it. For example Sage shoots a bolt that hurts enemies it hits, but heals allies it hits. Zrin alternates between two different punches, one of which has a short duration DoT and the other of which has a 10% stun chance. Stuff like that.

They also have a passive effect that is always active while you are playing them. Collect a soul from each enemy killed for a 5% damage boost, 10% damage bonus when attacking from behind, a stacking defense buff every time you take damage, stuff like that.

Finally, a character has 2 unique abilities. One that is unique to them and can only be used while you are playing that hero, and a second ability that is everyone in the squad can use if that hero is present.

Squad Decks

Which brings me to the first rant and something I am SO AUTISTIC ABOUT (positive). SQUADS. The game had you craft Squad Decks, collections of 3 heroes that you can swap between during your missions, for a total of 883.2k squad combinations (I think my math might be off on that). Swapping between them is on a cooldown of about 10 seconds, but otherwise is don’t instantaneously and as often as you want without penalty. You always have 5 abilities active:

- The unique ability of your active hero

- The Genesis ability of your active heroes variant

- Hero 1’s Squad ability

- Hero 2’s Squad ability

- Hero 3’s squad ability

The first two abilities change out every time you swap heroes, but the last 3 are fixed. So you have 3 abilities that you always have access to, and 6 abilities that are paired up and you can swap between which pair of those abilities is active.

Your heroes do NOT share a health/energy pool, but DO share healing pickups. Any time you pick up a health or energy restoration pickup, it refills a chunk of the respective health pool of your currently active hero, and a smaller chunk of each of your inactive heroes in the squad.

So the core loop of moment to moment gameplay becomes swapping situationally between heroes both offensively and defensively, to get access to your other heroes skills and also to mitigate damage from enemies based on their genesis or control where your healing is directed.

Loot

Loot in Darkspore is fairly standard for your average Diablolike. Item drops have 4 tiers: Common (Item Level=Account Level-5), Uncommon (Item Level=Account Level), Rarified (Item Level=Account Level+5), and Purified (Item Level=Account Level+10)

Items of higher tiers have more chances to roll on a table to gain beneficial modifiers.

Each item fell into one of a few different categories: Weapon, Hands, Feet, Offensive, Defensive, or Utility.

Each hero has one of each slot, plus an additional slot based on their class. Ravagers have an extra Offense slot, Sentinels have an extra Defense slot, and Tempests have an extra Utility slot. Any hero can equip any item you gain, with the exception of Weapons that are hero specific. Some heroes also lack Hands or Feet, in which case their weapon has extra stats and can get the same modifiers as hands and feet can.

The items you equip can then be added onto the Hero in the Hero Editor. The Hero Editor is often equated to the Creature Editor in Spore, which is BULLSHIT and was a pet peeve of mine the ENTIRE DAMN TIME THE FAME WAS LIVE. This is a FALSE EQUIVALENCE. It uses the outfit editor from the Tribal/Civilization phases of Spore instead. Importantly: this means you cannot alter the overall silhouette of your hero. It will always maintain the same basic profile and animations. However you can freely place the extra parts you equip anywhere on its body, and can also place multiple copies of them.

Additionally, old parts can have their stats stripped, converting them into ‘Detail’ parts with no stats, of which you can equip 6 different parts, each of which you can include 10 copies of on your hero. So you could get some pretty cool looks from it!

However all this loot is garbage and you likely would not use most of it outside of appearance. Which brings me to…

Cash-out Loot

Usually if you mention the word ‘cash’ in any sentence involving a game published by EA, it would be a call for concern. Luckily this isn’t that! It’s just gambling! Everything is fine!

The main progression in Darkspore comes from gear, and the best gear comes from how good your ships engines are. These come from account upgrades as you level up your account, determining how many levels you can do in a row. Every time you complete a level, you are given an option: Keep going, or ‘cash out’ and get a guaranteed piece of Uncommon gear, with a 10% chance of it becoming Rarified, as well as all the gear you picked up in the level.

If you choose to keep going, you have to complete the next level. If you die, you lose ALL the gear you picked up, including that guaranteed piece. If you make it to the end, you are given another choice: Risk it all again and go on to the next level, or stop here and get your TWO pieces of guaranteed uncommon loot, which each now have a 20% chance of becoming rarified and a 5% chance of becoming purified.

You can only go another of levels equal to the number of Engine Upgrades you have earned by leveling up your account. So at first, after the second level you HAVE to cash out. As you progress you can start to do many more levels at a time, getting a dozen pieces of gear that are practically guaranteed to be the highest rank.

But of course you have to play these levels in order, and you don’t get a chance to upgrade your character with all the cool new loot you found on the way, so you can’t just jump straight into this. You have to slowly build up to being able to push yourself this much, and once you can, you have a readily available source of some of the best gear in the game.

And that ties into my absolute favorite system of Darkspore:

Catalysts

Many diablolikes have a mechanic called ‘Sockets’. The gear you equip has its own type of equipment slot, and you put gems in there that give you small bonuses. Every game does it a little differently, but it’s kind of a staple of the series.

Darkspore uses a similar system, but utilizes it VERY differently. While you are running levels, enemies will rarely drop Catalysts instead of loot. These come in 5 colors: Purple (boosts your base stats), Red (boosts offensive secondary stats like damage or attack speed), Blue (boosts defensive secondary stats like health regen or damage resistance), Green (boosts utility secondary stats like movement speed or lifesteal), and Rainbow (can contain any of the bonuses of the previous categories) They also come in two sizes: Big and Small. This determines how big the bonus from them is.

You have a 3x3 grid on your HUD that the catalysts you collect go into. You can rearrange them however you want, and if you create a line of 3 of the same color (Rainbow is a wildcard and matches with all of them), it will double the bonus of all Catalysts in that line. This stacks, meaning if you create multiple lines over a single catalyst it could get a x3, x4, or even x5 bonus if it’s the center piece of the grid and forms a line in every direction.

However, you can’t save Catalysts. You can equip it to the grid or drop it on the ground and move on. That’s it. You have to decide now. Do you keep that Big Purple you have for the big buff to your most important stat, or do you trade it for that Small Rainbow for a mediocre stat you just found that you can plug in the middle and double everything else in your grid?

“Surely that only matters early game, and once you have good catalysts you don’t swap them out that much, right?” I hear the diablolike veterans asking, because that is how socketing works in most of those games. And normally you would be right. Except for one major change: All your catalysts only last until the end of your run. When you get to the cash out screen, and choose to keep going? You keep them. But if you choose to cash out, or if you ever die, your catalysts all vanish. Every new run you have to go through and collect them again, which results in you playing your heroes in new ways and adopting new strategies based on what catalysts drop for you each run.

It’s an INCREDIBLE easy to learn system that adds SO MUCH depth and replayability to the game. I love it so incredibly much. Each mechanic flows elegantly into the the next. The catalysts help you do better runs which gets you better gear which upgrades your heroes which lets you do better runs, the entire spiral being locked into your account level to give a quantifiable metric of how far this spiral is gone. It was so good!

And now, it’s gone forever.

Man that sure was a long post. Friends have heard me go on this rant SO many times. Thank god I never got into a second mediocre game filled with novel innovations that are ultimately lost to time and can never be experienced again due to Always Online DRM making it unplayable. Can you imagine if I didn’t learn my lesson and did that a second time? Ha!

… I never did that again. Right?

… right?

…

HEX: Shards of Fate

Hex was a digital TCG legal battle with TCG elements created by Cryptozoic. It was originally put up on Kickstarter, advertised as a digital card game with both PvE and PvP modes, a unique focus on the design space opened up by being a digital game, and gameplay damn near identical to Magic: The Gathering.

The thinly veiled truth was that this game was never meant to succeed. They had hoped it would, and it would be great if it did, but I’m fairly certain that was always a secondary objective. The first objective was to get sued by Wizards of the Coast over the similarities to Magic: The Gathering.

Now, that might sound strange to an outsider, but to anyone in the industry, they are probably nodding along and going “Yeah that tracks actually.”

You see, Wizards of the Coast is… bad. Really bad. They do everything in their power to choke the life out of the industry and have resorted to a lot of questionable tactics to do so. One of these is against anyone who develops any form of trading card game. You see, WotC has a patent on booster packs, customizable decks of cards, and turning cards sideways.

Literally.

U.S. Patent No 5,662,332 (A)

It is not a coincidence that the second two biggest names in TCGs don’t involve turning your cards sideways. Konami contested that Yugioh was different enough to not violate the patent.

WotC responded by suing them. They settled out of court.

Nintendo actually hired WotC to design the Pokémon TCG to NOT violate the patent in return for WotC getting to distribute the first few sets. WotC gladly accepted, distributed the game, got their cut of the sales, and as soon as that was over….

WotC responded by suing them. They settled out of court.

Every single other game out there ended up paying royalties to WotC. Because the cut of the sales to WotC was cheaper than going to court even if you won. WotC had their fingers in every pie, but was smart enough to make sure not to piss people off so much that refusal was ever a viable option.

Cryptozoic was a company that, at the time, was making several licensed TCGs. The big one that jumps out was the World of Warcraft TCG, which they were in charge of (though it was originally made by Upper Deck). Cryptozoic was begrudgingly paying royalties because having the WoWTCG license was too good and they didn’t want to give that up. Then Hearthstone happened and Cryptozoic was going to lose the WoWTCG license as it got discontinued.

So Cryptozoic set up their new game, Hex, specifically to bait WotC into suing them, so they could get the patent overturned.

See, the patent isn’t actually valid. You cannot patent a game mechanic. There are certainly aspects of the patent that ARE valid and CAN be enforced, but the parts about mechanics can’t actually be enforced. WotC uses it because people can’t contest it, but if it actually was used in court it would get overturned VERY easily, and WotC would be declawed.

So Cryptozoic created a game that was a clone of MtG, used a Kickstarter to build up a large amount of legal funds, and got sued by WotC! Yes! Exactly what they wanted!

… and then they settled out of court.

Sigh.

I guess I’ll talk about the game now.

Lore

The lore of the game was solid. Pretty typical fantasy setting. Humans and elves and sort of racist orcs (better than most other orcs I’ve seen at least) and extremely racist tribal coyote people make up the good guys. Undead, spider-orcs, dwarves, and also pretty racist samurai rabbit people make up the bad guys.

There are two types of magic in the world: Blood magic and Wild magic. Elves are adept at wild magic. Shin’hare (the rabbit people) are adept at wild magic as well. The Shin’hare tried to take over the world, forcing the Orcs, Humans, Elves, and Cyotle to ally together to drive them underground into the underworld.

There the Shin’hare met and allied with the Vennen, an all male race descended from Orcs. They were adept blood mages, and they procreated by kidnapping orcs and using them as incubators for spiders. I fucking love the Vennen. I’ll focus on them a lot in this. The Vennen taught the Shin’hare how to sacrifice their young for more power.

The two then allied with the Dwarves, a genderless race of sentient stone statues who excel at creating machinery, and who believe the world itself is a giant machine. Specifically, a weapon of mass destruction, and they are trying to set it off. They believe blowing people the fuck up to be their natural calling.

The underworld and overworld forces go back and forth a bit, with the Elves doing a large chunk of the work as the only overworld race that can use magic.

Then Hex happened. Hex is a massive meteor made up of Diamond, Emerald, and Sapphire. Hex punched clean through the world, scattering gems all across it, before stabilizing in orbit on the other side, becoming the worlds moon.

These gems were incredibly magical, allowing every race to now use magic. Diamonds were restorative, bringing life to things. Rubies were extremely destructive and burned bright and hot and quickly. Sapphire allowed finesse manipulation and control over water. These

Yes this is just the MtG color pie.

Eventually, humanity stumbled into one of their old crypts that was very close to the impact site of Hex, and found it CRAWLING with undead. They were taking the Diamonds from Hex and putting them into the eye sockets of human corpses, causing those corpses to reanimate. These were NOT actually undead, but an alien consciousness that existed within the gems that were using human corpses as a host.

The Necrotic sought a peaceful and symbiotic relationship with humanity as thanks for the use of the bodies. Humanity responded by getting really pissed off that the Necrotic were grave robbing, and went to war over it. Eventually the Necrotic retreated deep into the underworld and allied with the other races instead, eventually helping the Shin’hare with a second attack on the surface.

The lore has a lot more depth than that, but that’s the basic. I liked it a lot. The Orcs being good guys who just really liked tests of strength was a refreshing take on orcs. I liked them a lot. The extremely racist caricature that made up the Cyotle and the Shin’hare? Less so.

Digital Design Space

As for the actual gameplay… it was MtG. Like, almost 1:1.

Like…

Seriously.

Shards work similarly to Lands, with there being 5 basic shards, Diamond, Sapphire, Ruby, Wild, and Blood. You can only play one Shard per turn and when you do you get 1/1 Resource. 1 resource to spend on this turn, and 1 permanent resource. You spend that resource to play a card that costs 1, and you go down to 0/1 resources. Start of your turn, you would go back up to 1/1 resource.

Pretty straight forward stuff. Resources are a card type like in MtG, but once it’s played it acts as a perpetual resource like the Mana in Hearthstone, with no need to care about where the resource is coming from.

… wait a second though, this is a MtG clone. It uses the color pie. Caring where those resources come from is KIND OF a big deal in MtG.

Which is the first really cool difference between Hex and MtG! THRESHOLD! Each time you play a shard you gain 1 threshold in that color. To play a card, you have to have at least as many threshold as are displayed below its cost. See that purple dot below Murder? That means you need 1 blood threshold to play it.

Threshold is NOT consumed when you play a card, which DRASTICALLY alters deckbuilding and how feasible multi-color decks are.

For example, in MtG, if you had 4 swamps and 1 mountain in play, and 5 cards in hand that all cost R…. You can play 1 whole card this turn.

In Hex, if you have 4 Blood and 1 Ruby, and have 5 cards that all cost 1 and have a single Ruby threshold, you can play your entire hand that turn. This made it incredibly viable to splash colors in relatively smaller amounts. It also opened up cool new design space, like cards that cost 1 but still required 3 threshold in a color. Or cards that require 1 threshold of every type to activate a bonus effect (very common among Necrotic) or… for sockets!

HEY WE ARE COMING FULL CIRCLE!

Remember how I mentioned Diablolike games having sockets, but how Darkspore didn’t use it? Well Hex DOES. There was a pair of keywords called Socketable Major and Socketable Minor. Each set, there would be 10 gems (two of each color) that rotated out for Socketable cards. Cards with Major sockets could equip any gem, while minor sockets could only equip half of them. So for example the current rotation might have the Sapphire gems be “While you have at least 1 Sapphire Threshold, this card has Flying” for its Minor gem, and “When you play this card, if you have at least 3 Sapphire Threshold, target player draws 3 cards”

You chose which gem was in each Socketable card during deckbuilding. Different copies of the same card could have different gems equipped, or you could have the same gem equipped across multiple different cards. It was basically a way to go “This card was designed to be splashed in other color decks. You pick what that other color is.”

It opened up a lot of design space! This was something Hex did VERY well. They knew they were making a MtG clone, but they weren’t beholden to the same restrictions a physical card game did, and they THRIVED in those areas.

For example, REPLICATORS GAMBIT, a one cost card that creates six copies of a troop (read: creature) that just… could not exist in MtG.

Another example of this was in my favorite archetype in Hex: Mill. Now, I’m not normally a blue player. I’m not a big fan of the ‘you don’t get to play the game’ archetype. Even mill isn’t really my thing. But the way it worked in HexTCG? God I loved it. I wish I could see my opponents faces as they reached a trembling hand out to their bloated, grotesque deck, a cruel mockery of what it once was. They had started the match with only 60 cards, but now it held twice that number. Knowing every draw was more likely to bring their own skittering death out.

…

Maybe I should back up a bit.

There the Shin’hare met and allied with the Vennen, an all male race descended from Orcs. They were adept blood mages, and they procreated by kidnapping orcs and using them as incubators for spiders. I fucking love the Vennen. I’ll focus on them a lot in this.

Vennen are, in MtG terms, tribal Blue/Black with a focus on control. Specifically an aggressive form of control. Your wincon is still ‘beat your opponent to death’, but the means by which you do it is… spiders.

Lots of Vennen cards work by still allowing your opponent to do the thing that you blocked, but it now creates Spider Eggs in their deck. Lock down a creature as it enters play with ‘Everytime this creature becomes tapped, shuffle 3 spider eggs into your deck’ or ‘Whenever an opponent draws a third card this turn add a spider egg to their deck’ or ‘When this creature is destroyed add a spider egg to your opponent’s deck’ and when they DRAW a spider egg… well… the effect of a spider egg is more or less ‘When this card enters your hand or graveyard, draw/discard another card into that zone and destroy this one. Your opponent creates a Spiderling and puts it in play. “

Spiderlings are 1/1 Unblockable creatures.

The Vennen win con is to just fill your opponent with spiders and then shred them apart once the spiders start hatching. It was a DELIGHTFUL playstyle.

PvE

Hex also features a fairly robust PvE mode with a point crawl encounter map that was quite delightful. There were cards unique to PvE, but all PvP cards were also legal in PvE. In general, all your staples came from PvP and were the same core staples everyone uses to win (they were very generous with handing out common/uncommon PvP cards in the single player mode, which in turn also made Pauper a very popular format), however you also had PvE cards which made up your win cons. PvE cards weren’t balanced as tightly, and allowed to just be dumb overpowered bullshit just because it’s fun to use dumb overpowered bullshit sometimes!

There were also equipment slots that would modify the cards in your deck, turning PvP cards into PvE cards. For example, Replicators Gambit made it so that EVERY copy of that card gained that text.

PvE started with character creation. You would create a character that was one of the 8 races, and one of 6 3 different classes. Warrior, Cleric, or Ranger. I think there was a late update that added Mage but I don’t recall too clearly, and it isn’t document online anymore as far as I can tell!

Each class had a unique talent tree that you could customize and change how you played. Your race determined what colors you could play, and your level determined how many of each rarity you could play.

I played a Vennen Cleric. Cleric’s whole thing was that you would gain Blessings, 0 cost cards that would rise in your deck each turn, and could be played to draw a card as well as additional effects based on your build. My blessings put more eggs in the enemy deck, to the surprise of no one.

As you went from encounter to encounter you would earn new cards to modify your deck, swapping decks between fights. Then there were dungeons, long laborious streaks of a dozen or so encounters, with branching paths and decisions to be made, earning you tons of new packs and equipment and experience to boost your character. One especially fun encounter was crossing a desert with a pack of… I think it was gnomes? There were 20 of them that needed rescuing. The way you rescued them was putting them in your deck, and then leaving the desert through a single combat encounter. Except they were AWFUL. Like 3 cost vanilla 1/1’s level of awful. The more you had in your deck, the harder the encounter became. It was a really nice way to portray the logistical challenge of trying to fight while protecting all these useless tagalongs.

There were plans to even introduce Raids, 3v1 PvE encounters, but they fizzled out as the game got sunset.

The game was good. REALLY good. It relished in the digital design space in a way I haven’t quite seen since then. A few games, like Legends of Runeterra, have come close, but always fall short, and that’s so sad! I DESPERATELY want to play a TCG with this level of customization again!

Luckily that was the end of it. I finally learned the error of my ways, never touched anything ‘always online’ again, and now can live a life without regrets! … except Legends of Runeterra a little bit like I mentioned above but THATS IT! There are no other always online games I have regrets about!

…

ToonTown Online

Okay no, not seriously. I’ve never played toontown. But honestly it looked kinda silly and like a shitpost in video game form. I think it would have been fun to try at some point with a few friends. Not seriously, just to screw around in for a bit.

Never going to get that chance. Just like nearly everyone reading this will never get to play two of my biggest influences that shaped how I think about game design.

Always Online DRM is an insidious beast. It doesn’t just kill games, it kills *archival*. All we have left of these games is a relatively small number of gameplay videos. I was planning on having a lot more pictures in this post of all the interface elements I was talking about as I talked about them, but there just… aren’t any good pictures of them. Even these details are based on my own memory cross referenced with a couple of wikis, and even those were sparse.

Some games can’t feasibly avoid Always Online. MMO’s are a big example. But by adding it into a game that has a single player experience involved, and not making that single player experience a standalone thing on its own, you are destroying any hope that your game will be remembered. It will fade into obscurity. There will never be a cult revival. Your work will be discarded and forgotten and it’s… so incredibly sad to see.

I jokingly titled this section being about ToonTown, but really this section is about Kingdom Hearts: Union X. It was a mediocre and disgustingly predatory gacha. It was horribly managed with horrible issues around localization and it was just… a mess. But it was part of the world of Kingdom Hearts, and it’s story was important and mattered.

The game is no longer playable, but it’s also not entirely lost. The devs created a new version of it, as a gallery to view the cutscenes. The single-player side mode, Dark Road, is also included. The devs didn’t have to do this. They could have gone the same route as Darkspore and HexTCG, and had their work be forgotten. They chose to save it. Not in full, but at least the parts the deemed important.

It also makes me wonder how much this happens in other mediums. Ludology is a pretty new field, and it rarely goes into specific games and their impact on the medium, mostly just focusing on the impacts they have on humanity, rather than the mechanics themselves as these beautiful pieces of art. And it makes me wonder how often this happens with say… film critics. Are there any indie film makers who are deep in the paint of indie films and critique of not just the films themselves, but the very techniques being used, just sitting there going “It’s so upsetting that this big studio managed to do something this beautiful and all of us in the scene recognize it’s beauty, but no one else seems to, and now it’s gone?”

… as I’m writing this I actually realize that this does happen there. It’s how I found out about what became my favorite film of all time, The Man From Earth. It’s a small film that flopped horribly in theaters, and only gained any attention by being pirated by a lot by indies who wanted to talk about it. It’s a good movie, highly recommend. Not for everyone though.

I don’t know. I’m sure I had a point with all this but… seeing it happen again and again and now with streaming services taking stuff down it’s just… I can’t help but seeing not just more and more games, but more and more of EVERY artistic medium ending up in this area. How many digital artists entire portfolios have vanished off the face of the earth because their tumblr got deactivated? How many movies are going to be gone forever when Netflix eventually goes out of business? We can’t even rely on piracy! Many old pieces of media is just lost forever. Just ask the Doctor Who fandom. They probably know more about that than anyone else at this point.

But mostly I just really wish more developers would consider what parts of their games are important, and what kind of legacy they want to leave, instead of just what will generate a short burst of profit, with no care for what happens after.

… I should start doing video essays with how long this got. It’s like some kind of text based video essay. A text essay. Those are a new thing I just invented.

#Darkspore #Spore #Those are the only two tags on this post because those are the only games I talk about don’t worry about it. it’s fine. don’t read further. #HexTCG #Hex: Shards of Fate #Kingdom Hearts: Union X #Always Online DRM #The Man From Earth #I swear to god if anyone tells me I should just play Temo on LoR I will scream #YES I KNOW AND I DO #but also LoR sucks #and also that is missing THE ENTIRE POINT OF THIS RANT #the SAME THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO LEGENDS OF RUNETERRA #maybe not soon #but it WILL die someday #and be gone forever #because it isn’t being preserved #Text Essay

[magicandmundane]

So @twinsunstars and I were talking about this yesterday, and our girl Omega would do numbers on the galaxy’s social media platforms, so here’s a few headcanons on how that scenario would play out:

She has the equivalent of a tumblr blog making daily shitposts roasting the Empire into oblivion

She has a twitter account where she blasts them and advertises for the Rebellion with well crafted arguments

Said twitter account also frequently posts memes to further roast the Empire

Her TikTok is her in a clone trooper helmet (anonymity to keep her brothers safe, she wants the Empire thinking they’re all dead) defending clones and talking more about why the Empire sucks

And last but not least (this isn’t quite social media, but it lives in my head rent free): Omega has a radio show a la Potterwatch in The Deathly Hallows called What the Empire Doesn’t Tell You with Havoc 5 (working title, let me know if you think of something better). It’s a sort of news outlet on a secure comm channel with a changing password or whatever. She brings in guest speakers all the time and it’s just talking about the unseen atrocities and what the Rebellion is doing to fight back and inspire hope. (The rebels on Lothal come up a lot.) Lots of clones come on the show with her, even Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair make the occasional appearance, and talk about their experiences. Hera is a frequent guest. Mon Mothma even went on the show once. The list goes on.

BONUS: The Empire has a whole ass tech division for the sole purpose of shutting down this mysterious ‘Havoc 5’. It’s honestly comedic how big this division gets because they keep failing lol. They can’t delete her accounts, they can’t track down the source of the activity, they can’t get on the radio show’s comm channel, etc. Why? Because Omega is a fucking menace who out smarts them at every turn seeing as Tech taught her everything he knew.

Feel free to add on to this!

#this is so funny to me if you can’t tell #she would frustrate the shit out of them #the bad batch #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb omega #adult omega #rebel omega #the galactic empire #the rebel alliance #tbb headcanons #star wars

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Rose Quartz Propaganda

"We saw her character arc in reverse!! We first saw all the good she did and then learned of her terrible actions in the past. If her story was told the other way around, it would have been a great redemption arc. Yes, she did some terrible things, but she had no choice. She did everything she could to stop the colonization of earth peacefully buy nothing worked. Blue and yellow diamond just didn't listen to her and when they did, THEY were the ones who made the zoo and shit. Rose wanted to free them but couldn't get to them after the war! And with the corruption, there's no way she could have known that'd happen. There's so many things she wanted to do but just couldn't. And with spinel, yes it was shitty to leave her alone for so long, but again, between running her court, running the rebellion, dealing with earth, she likely wasn't a very high priority and like with the zoo, there was no way to get to her after the war since the galaxy warp was destroyed. And don't forget, she was practically a child around this time. You're saying you didn't do any stupid, selfish, or harmful things as a kid? She learned from her experiences and grew, we just saw that growth in reverse, leaving us as viewers with a poor perception of her."

"Rose Quartz is Steven Universe’s dead mom. Initially, she’s set up as sort of an ethereal perfect figure who everyone misses and compares him to. Later we get to see more of her backstory and discover that she’s actually like, a person, with flaws, who has done some bad things, but she did those bad things largely in the course of trying to escape an abusive home life and save the people and planet that she fell in love with. It’s very clear that despite her flaws she was trying to do the right thing and that she deeply cared about others. Unfortunately, a woman who was not a Perfect Martyr was way too much for the Steven Universe fandom to handle. She pretty much set off the wave of SU crit blogs because these people were furious either that she had taken violent measures to solve her problems, that she hadn’t taken violent enough measures to solve her problems, or both somehow. Lots of “Why didn’t she just murder her abusive parental figures?” Lots of “She was evil for having a baby even though she knew she’d die in childbirth!” Lots of “She should’ve been able to protect everyone from a magic nuclear weapon with the power of love somehow.” Lots of “She shouldn’t have rebelled (even though not rebelling would’ve meant the destruction of Earth) because her abusers retaliated and that’s her fault.” LOTS of people drawing her as stick thin even though she was fat in the show. People treated her like she was on the same level or even worse than her abusive parental figures who were also the main villains of the show. It was unbearable to witness."

Mahiru Propaganda

"They got unfairly voted guilty in the first round and keeps getting blamed She never meant to hurt anyone and the only reason she did was cause she couldn’t read social ques"

"Mahiru Shiina is the most traditionally feminine character in Milgram, and she’s very in love with the idea of love. That makes her an easy fandom target. In Milgram, we are introduced to ten murderers. It quickly becomes apparent that not all of these murders are conventional. By the time we are introduced to Mahiru, we already know most of these unconventional murderers. Mahiru’s first music video depicts her going on various dates with her boyfriend, even though he is not shown in the frame. At the end of the video, Mahiru wakes up, turns to the camera, and has a horrified expression. Whatever happened, she didn’t want it to happen. And then a lot of the fandom accused her of being a stalker. Was that what got her a 55% guilty/unforgiven vote? I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But she heard what the fandom said. She heard these voices saying she couldn’t be forgiven. Saying that she was a stalker or that she didn’t really love her boyfriend, even though that wasn’t true. She was beaten to near-death by Kotoko, a vigilante who was forgiven by 67%. Fuuta, who also sustained serious injuries from Kotoko, calls out the audience surrogate, saying what we did with our verdicts would have made us the same as him if Mahiru had died. And yet Mahiru doesn’t blame either us or Kotoko. Mahiru’s second music video shows that she was indeed in a proper relationship with her boyfriend. She smothered him with her love. The video slowly revealed the toxicity in their relationship. She asked why she can’t do anything right. The fandom perception was better in that she was safely voted innocent/forgiven. Still, there are issues. Some infantilize her or say that she’s delusional. Yes, she had a sheltered upbringing and has difficulties reading social cues, but that doesn’t take away her agency. On the flip side, some have theorized that she kidnapped her boyfriend and wasn’t in a proper relationship with him. (Not sure what to say about that, but this is a series about sympathetic murderers.)"

#semi finals #females fucked over tournament #steven universe #milgram #rose quartz #mahiru shiina

[giantchasm]

Omg... is it true that the second annual @kirbyoctournament has rolled around? How exciting!

Last year, I entered a nasty, nasty, no-good old woman, and that was fine and dandy, but I think it might be time for a change in vibe. After all, as much as I love my girl Peacekeeper, last year I hadn't yet created my favorite Kirby OC, and I think said OC deserves her chance in the spotlight.

Which is all to say...

Peony will be entering the fray!

I made a longer post going over Peony's whole deal here, but to give the long-and-short of it (because yes, this is the abridged version), Peony is my (extremely self-indulgent 💜) Taransusie fankid.

Her existence was a bit of a happy, spite-induced accident, seeing as how she was grown in a test tube on an impulsive whim, but she's a very beloved, happy kid. Albeit a bit strange...

Because you see, Peony sees ghosts.

Following a near-death experience, she was supercharged with Soul magic and now she teeters the line between the worlds of the living and the dead. A creepy, macabre, spirit medium of a child, her circumstances would be confusing and offputting to anyone. But with her family's history in particular?

...Yeahhhhh, things are kind of bizarre.

She gets along well, though, with her undead friends. And who knows? Perhaps her new, mysterious powers could be the key to giving her family some long sought after closure.

Peony is an overconfident, somewhat-naive, stubborn know-it-all who doesn't know how to take 'no' for an answer, and really, it comes by her honestly, considering her family. For all of her hardheadedness and ego, though, she really is a sweet kid, and much of her determination comes from a place of honest love. She adores her friends and her family and just wants the best for them, regardless of what other people think or what the world says she can do.

As of right now, her biggest dream and aspiration is to find a way to undo death and bring her ghostly companions back from the grave, setting things right and 'reuniting' her family. This is almost certainly something she won't be able to accomplish, but...

Like I said, Peony doesn't really know how to take no for an answer.

Upon growing up, Peony ends up becoming a wandering spirit medium, traversing the galaxy in hopes of helping people come to terms with their unfinished business. She still makes sure to visit home often, though! For all of her pluckiness, she's still ultimately her mom and dad's baby girl deep down.

"Have you been taking proper care of your mechanics?" "Of course, Mom." "And you've been eating alright?" "Yes, Dad. Oh my Stars, you two, there's no need to fret... you can just say you're glad to see me. It's good to see you too."

...And there's no need to fear. Rest assured, she still has her babysitters compatriots. Something tells me their unfinished business won't ever truly be done with until they've finished looking out for her.

Because if Peony's strange life full of reopening once-thought-to-be-closed doors has made anything clear, it's that the more things change, the more they inevitably stay the same.

#kirby oc #kirby oc tournament #peony haltmann #kirby #taransusie #now the question of... do i or do i not tag all of the canon characters that appear in this? #screw it. making everyone look at my fankid #taranza #susie haltmann #susie kirby #sectonia #queen sectonia #haltmann kirby #max profitt haltmann

[bagog]

Star Trek: Discovery Narrative Highlights

So I really like Discovery, but differently than I like other Star Treks. My love for Voyager, for instance, is based off the sense of found-family in the face of sci-fi shenanigans. I could pick out favorite episodes, but my favorite episodes don't necessarily represent the epitome of what I love about the show, y'know?

It's different with Disco. There are concrete moments from through out the show that made me go "Okay, I like this, I want this. More of this." Here's some of them! This is indulgent and all from memory

Season 1 - Klingons Speak Klingon

In a story about Klingons fearing the Federation as an institution which will irrevocably alter their culture, the Klingons actually speak Klingon. Love it. Season 1 - Gabriel Lorca

I loved seeing a Star Fleet captain who seemed to have ascended because of his skill at war: a trait which ordinarily would not elevate one within Starfleet service, per se. It made him interesting. Your mileage may vary on where this went, but. He's still a big appeal on rewatch.

Season 2 - Queer People Helping Queer People

The introduction of Jet Reno is one of my favorite hallmarks in the show. I love Jet, and I love the way she serves as a foil to every other character. But best of all, I loved the scene when she is talking to Hugh Culber about how distant he's been from his husband (since coming back from the dead, so, you know) and helps him by relating her own story about her wife, who is now passed. To say I'm happy to see queer stories on Star Trek is a massive understatement, but this was the moment it locked in for me. In the world of the Federation, there's no difference between being queer or straight and anyone could've talked Hugh out of his funk. But in our world, it's usually queer people helping queer people make sense of their experiences. Recognizing the importance of that distinction and going with the queers-helping-queers take is a really big deal for me.

Season 2 - Amanda

This is hands-down the best representation of Amanda we've ever been given and she is so wonderfully human and warm that it helps you understand Spock and Michael so much better. I don't know what to say other than that, I love her.

Season 3 - The Future

I love that they went not just into the future, but further into the future than any mainline trek lore has gone. Hell yes. I'm bummed it's kinda a post-Utopian mess, but I get storywise why that's the case. I love the future starships, I love the future technology, I like that we just "BZP" to wherever we want to be in the ship now. In a show increasingly steeped in centuries of canon lore, it's smart and challenging to try to do "a millennium in the future."

Season 3 - Queer Family

Queer Family! Queer Family in Star Trek! This is my queers-helping-queers point but dialed up to 11. Love it, would do anything for it.

Season 4 - Artificial Intelligence

The ship is alive and she's named herself. This comes to a head in an episode in Season 4 where Paul Stamets feels very hesitant about this, after the plot of Season 2 was trying to stop AI from destroying the galaxy. There's this whole Measure of a Man but Not Quite Because Its the B Story thing going on, but at the end of it, there's a twist. Paul eventually learns to accept his new crewmate, but then he asks the person in-charge of the inquest "What would you have done if I said I wasn't comfortable serving with an AI?" and the dude goes "I would've assigned you to another ship. This was never about whether she has a soul or whatever, it's about if you can learn to accept that with you 22nd century brain." And that's.... that's great.

Season 4 - Mental Health

Mental Health is a thread running through some of Discovery (Season 2 flirts with Spock's neurodivergence, for instance) but never more than in Season 4. Hugh Culber, the ship's ray of sunshine and de facto counselor, is in bad shape, mentally, and he needs help. But the best moment is when the away-team is beset by chemical memories of panic and basically rendered useless with fear... except for Detmer, who helps them all get through it. When asked why she was unaffected, she says "Oh I totally was affected, but after my grievous injury during the war, I went to therapy for the PTSD and learned some coping strategies" AND THAT'S WHAT SAVES THE GALAXY.

Anyway, this is very indulgent and probably nobody reads this, but thanks if you did.

#star trek #star trek discovery #disco #Jet reno #Michael Burnham #Hugh Culber #Paul Stamets #keyla detmer #i will probably delete this

[revserrayyu]

2.2 Penacony thoughts [part 5]

**Major story spoilers** as we’re finished the main story here. Going to be chatting even more about Acheron and our time in the Horizon of Existence, the real final boss, as well as all cutscenes that follow, so if you haven’t finished the whole story yet, I encourage you to come back and read this all later if you wish to do so after you experience everything for yourself first.

I gotta start off by saying that I absolutely love how this scene looks. Yeah it’s upsetting to learn that Acheron’s companion here is actually dead, but all the rain falling upon that red glow is just really nice to look at. Of course Acheron is slaying as usual too. I even dig the shadowy look of this man despite his circumstances.

Is Acheron kinda of like a grim reaper of sorts? At least that’s the feeling I’m getting when she says she’s guiding lost souls. And correct me if I’m wrong, but he is the one who wanted flowers on his grave, right? He just doesn’t remember I assume? It also seems that “Acheron” is just a river and I vaguely remember Acheron mentioning one during her conversation with the “Dreammaster” inside the park.

So I guess this is what all that red text meant? It wasn’t something we should have feared but a way to guide us forward, onto the right path? That’s how I’m interpreting it. Anyways, name drop reveals that this man was actually one of the Nameless buried at Dream Flux Reef.

Soon enough we arrived at the Horizon of Existence with Acheron and I’m like 99% sure this set of questions she asks us are close to the same exact ones she spoke of when we met her inside that first dream. I wish I remembered my choices to her questions from back then, because with the game only giving us one option to choose for each question, I wonder if it’s giving us the same option we picked when we first answered her because that would be amazing.

SHE. SAID. THE. THING!!! Acheron real name confirmed!!! Even though it’s pretty much what we all expected from the very beginning, it’s great for it to finally be true and not be a total secret.

A big ol’ cutscene begins and it reminds me of how little we actually received about Boothill, like yeah he shoots that fancy relic bullet up into the sky because he’s the only Galaxy Ranger around who can do so, but he didn’t do much else? I mean I absolutely enjoyed seeing him interact with Dan Heng and everyone else but to not even get the chance to fight a battle with him seems weird after 2.1 gave us the chance to really use both Acheron and Aventurine and test our their gameplay whenever we switched to their perspectives. Same thing happened with Robin too. We walked around as her and Boothill for brief moments but that was pretty much it, making the switch seem kinda pointless to me.

I got no words for this. It’s just an incredibly beautiful screenshot of her. I’ll never get tired of seeing all that red whenever this monochrome world takes over. Makes me regret skipping her every day but next time I’ll pull her for sure.

Yet another line she told us during our first encounter with her. Also, if this is the last time we see her in the story, I’m gonna be sad.

The crew!!!! I’ll admit it does look a little silly that we’re only armed with a hat while everyone else has a reasonable weapon, but I love each one of us so much!! It felt perfect for me to have Himeko in my team during the upcoming fight too.

While I figured we were gonna be blessed with Robin’s appearance and one of her songs during the fight, can I just say that I was not expecting the assist mechanic to be the mother-forking Express?? I had joked somewhere sometime ago that if Pom-Pom were to ever become playable, that their ultimate would be running the enemy over with the train and color me surprised, because that’s pretty much what happens!!

So the final battle itself went pretty well. Took a bit more damage than before but still an easier fight overall than how Aventurine’s went for me. I knew I didn’t have to bring in our dear gambler in since the fight itself granted us shields, but his helped me just fine along with all those follow up attacks.

I think my Trailblazer managed to do pretty well too? I stressed so hard to break that 145 on speed to access that secondary buff of the Talia planar ornaments, so that’s why other stats may be a bit lacking. At least I have break effect at 197%.. is that reasonable?

Anyways, as much as I adore Serval, I had to use the train to deliver the final hit.

Pfft, ain’t no way. Sunday is really over.

Look at us protecting March, aww!

Trailblazer pulls off some last minute talk-no-jutsu to get through to Sunday’s head and with a heartfelt embrace from Robin, I think it’s time to start crying.

C’mon, look at how gorgeous this is!! Such a beautiful sunrise to witness after all the chaos is over.

Surprisingly, the credits roll again only this time it actually feels like a proper ending to the story. It even lists Acheron’s true name, yet March still remains a mystery. When will we ever learn? Who knows.

Final cutscene of the patch begins and what do you mean Argenti saved Aventurine??? When and how and why didn’t we get to witness such a moment with two of Star Rail’s most beautiful men!

Aventurine betting his own life once again.. oh dear, you never learn. Then again, it seems you never lose either so, go ahead sweetie. Go get that promotion you so rightfully deserve!

This scene also bums me out a little because I was really hoping we would actually get to see Jade arrive in game this time around, but it seems we’ll have to wait even longer. Cutting it a bit close to her release with it being in the same patch but at least she’s phase two. I’m pulling for her day one though. I don’t care what happens in the story, it won’t change my mind about her! (to be fair, I’ve seen some leaks about her gameplay and, oh my god..)

Boothill unexpectedly enters the room after knocking out the two IPC guards outside the door and we’re left with yet another cliffhanger. Definitely not as strong as a final scene as the previous two versions but no way a random name drop could match a sudden surprise death either.

And finally, that’s all for now. Penacony remains to be a story full of mysterious twists and there’s plenty more to see.. hopefully. We still have no clear idea what happened to Firefly, then there’s all those bombs Sparkle was handing out to everyone, we still have to officially meet Jade and see what she and Topaz have planned. Sunday and Robin were last seen falling from the sky so they gotta land safely and I haven’t a clue if we’ll even see Acheron again. Here’s hoping 2.3 ties up all loose ends and gives Penacony the finale it deserves!

#honkai star rail #acheron #boothill #stelle #robin #sunday #aventurine #gameplay #revsposts

[antianakin]

Honestly felt like such a disservice to Ezra "I Will Risk My Life For People I Just Met" Bridger. The "I will solo confront Thrawn and 3 ships worth of troops on the slim chance my plan works" to not even try to AT LEAST scout out Thrawn's stuff. You seriously can't tell me someone who spent a good chunk of their life sneaking around and stealing couldn't do that especially with the reduced numbers present. The literal best part of the finale was him getting the emitter similar to Kanan but where the fuck did the crystal come from

Yeah, I questioned the fact that Ezra had apparently been doing NOTHING but moving around with the Noti for the last decade. He just says it's suicide to try to get anywhere near, but... it does feel like a disservice that he couldn't do ANYTHING AT ALL and would've been nicer if he could've had more info on hand to pass off.

The entire sequence of them breaking in just felt like a video game where you defeat one group of enemies and then something happens and now you have a new obstacle and then there's a mini-boss and then and then and then. They're not utilizing any of the information they DO have on hand (like ANY of their experience with Dathomir and the Nightsisters and zombies). I dunno, it didn't feel all that interesting or unique to me as an action sequence, either. And having Ezra have more knowledge of what might be coming because he'd broken in a few times but perhaps not made it all the way or had to fight zombies a few times or something could've helped with that particular issue.

I'm actually less fussed about where the crystal came from than I am about having Kanan's emitter. Because Jedi just kind-of... acquiring kyber crystals randomly is at this point a fairly time-honored tradition. Luke gets a new green lightsaber pretty randomly in ROTJ and while I think it gets explained away as having been via supplies Obi-Wan had in a deleted scene (a quick Google search tells me that Legends apparently said it was a synthetic crystal but that the concept of a synthetic kyber crystal no longer exists so, it still begs the question of where OBI-WAN got a random kyber crystal from). And Ezra himself does exactly the same thing in Rebels back when he lost his blaster saber at the end of season 2 and magically has a new green saber at the beginning of season 3 without a SINGLE explanation of where it came from (he can't go back to the Lothal temple at that point anymore and we never see him grab any of the lightsabers from the dead Jedi on Malachor).

So. Whatever. Sure. He found a kyber crystal on Peridea somewhere, fine.

But using Kanan's emitter (and the added salt in the wound of the blade being BLUE now) just felt like lazy nostalgia bait to me. This is going to sound really insensitive and rude and insulting and I'm really sorry, this isn't aimed at you specifically, I don't think you're stupid for liking this moment, I just didn't care for it and my thoughts below are going to edge into a rant about how frustrated I am with the way this show has gone and why this moment doesn't work for me.

I want Ezra to be able to have his OWN blade still, I want him to be able to have something unique to him that reflects the experiences he's had in this new galaxy, I wanted them do something new and unique and interesting and instead they just... basically gave him Kanan's saber. Like yeah he constructed it to be new, but it's blue and it's the same distinctive emitter so it may as well just be Kanan's saber. It creates emotions because it's Kanan's saber, but personally this just felt like yet another moment where they relied entirely on nostalgia for Rebels to make the moment emotional rather than doing any real work to make the moment emotional or interesting or develop Ezra's character in any way at all. They've barely mentioned Kanan ONCE up until this episode and just as a quick throw away line to explain that Jacen might have special powers. There's nothing from Hera, or Jacen, or Sabine, or even EZRA prior to this moment that really creates any tension or emotion around Kanan's character and his loss, so this moment where Ezra just recreates Kanan's saber feels... hollow. Empty.

And given that this whole show's theme was about how great attachments are and how clinging to your loved ones is actually the only good thing to do in life, it felt a little frustrating to have Ezra recreate Kanan's saber. It SHOULD feel like Ezra trying to honor Kanan in some way and do this as a healthy remembrance of Kanan, but given the way they're acting towards Ahsoka's memories of Anakin and Sabine's choices regarding Ezra, it starts to feel more like Ezra refusing to just let go of Kanan and allow Kanan's legacy to be the things he taught Ezra. Ahsoka is DEFINED by Anakin and that relationship and so now Ezra's Jedi weapon also is defined by his master, one of the few things a Jedi has to truly identify themselves with.

We're not getting this nice message of "the master passes on everything they've learned to their student, but the student still goes their own way" so much as we're getting this really weird like... "masters and apprentices are intrinsically tied to each other for life and are the most important relationship either of them will ever have to another person and it defines who you become" kind of message. And I don't really care for it. And I think my frustration with that message took what COULD'VE been a nice homage to Kanan and made it into a symptom of something I just didn't like.

And I'll connect it to the problem you brought up first about how it felt out of character for Ezra not to be able to sneak onto the base to do any kind of recon or to try to take out Thrawn on his own at all. They don't WANT to explore Ezra as his own character any more than they want to explore Ahsoka as her own character or Sabine as her own character. Ahsoka and Sabine are just proxies for Anakin, they're variations of "Anakin as he should've been." Sabine and Ahsoka make all the same mistakes so that Ahsoka can sit there and go "Actually Anakin was always right and he was a good master and I'm going to act exactly like him except somehow without any of the genocide or enslavement bits."

Ezra I think is having a similar problem where I don't think they really CARE about who Ezra is as a character to delving that deeply into his psyche and how this time would have actually changed or impacted him or what his relationship with Kanan means to him. Ezra is just... there to be the catalyst through which to have Sabine act like Anakin so that Ahsoka can think about Anakin. So they're not trying to make Ezra act in character, they don't CARE that Ezra should be able to connect to the Howlers because space wolves are kind-of Ezra's THING. They don't CARE that Ezra should be able to sneak onto Thrawn's base because that's a major element of his character. They don't CARE about giving Ezra a unique lightsaber to explore who he is now as a person after all of this time. That's not the point of having Ezra on this show. Ezra is a means to an end and just yet another piece of nostalgia bait basically.

The thing I've said about most Star Wars media beyond the main 6 films is that it's all fan service, right? There's nothing INHERENTLY wrong with fan service or nostalgia bait. A lot of the stuff I genuinely love also does a lot of both. Rogue One, Andor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, even Rebels itself. The thing is, I happened to be the fan that those pieces of media were servicing. So I'm going to be able to watch them and let go of what little frustrations might exist as just nitpicks rather than things that make me give up on it as a lost cause entirely. I am NOT the fan being serviced in the Ahsoka show. At all. There isn't a single thing in this show that is aimed at a fan like me. There is NOTHING FOR ME on this show at all. So all of the little fan service-y nostalgia bait moments aren't hitting because I'm just continuously getting frustrated by it over and over and not getting even any real glimmers of like... "aw, that was nice though." Even the "nice" moments get slotted into the wider patterns of this show that I don't like.

So hey, the nostalgia bait of Kanan's saber probably worked for a lot of people and honestly, I'm glad it did. I'm glad there were people who got to really enjoy seeing Ezra recreate Kanan's saber as a nice homage to the character and their relationship. I'm glad there were some people who got to enjoy even this small part of this show.

I just... can't. I wanted more and I didn't get it.

#star wars #ahsoka show #ahsoka spoilers #ezra bridger

[hellhound5925]

Cyare Verd

*OC Raven x Hunter

Previous: Chapter Two - Spoils of War

Chapter Three: Ruins of War

It's safe to say at this point, this is not how I saw this going. I shouldn't be surprised though because when did Cid's missions EVER go well. The answer is never. They never go well. I will say, these guys live up to expectations.

The free-falling feeling is starting to get old. My stomach - I swear on my ancestors - is in my skull.

"We are descending at a rate of speech that is most concerning" Tech voices his opinion - or fact. Same difference.

"If the reentry thrusters don’t engage soon—" Echo starts before I finish for him "We're all dead!".

There is a clang sound and all the cargo - including us - crashes to the ground. My whole body aches. The others stand, collecting themselves; however, I continue to lay on the floor for a moment longer wondering what I did to make the galaxy hate me so much. A string of curses pass my lips.

"Other than not being able to steer or control where we land, I would say this is going well" Tech says looking around.

I scoff getting to my feet, "Your definition of well and mine. Very different".

Hunter's voice comes through the comms, "Did you reach the escape pods yet?"

An involuntary scoff from me, "Not exactly”.

“We are using an alternate mode of transport. My calculations have us crashing towards the upper forest region of the planet" Tech explains.

I lean over to Echo, "Is he always like this?".

A laugh. "Yeah, Always".

Tech seemed to have finished his conversation with Hunter. "Well then, now we just wait until we hit the ground".

That thought hits me like a stone hitting water. It's supposed to be good news but my gut still says it's not over.

Shortly after that, the container hits the ground. Hard. I’m left wondering how much more of this my body can handle in one day.

"That was smoother than some of Wreckers attempted landings" Tech jokes.

"I think I'd like to never find out what those are like" I say, bending over with hands on my knees. My body aches and bile rises in my throat. For a second, I wonder how fast my body will react if I need to get my helmet off. Puking with a helmet is not something I’d like to add to my list of experiences today.

"Tech Report" Hunter comms us again.

"We are alive. But where we are, I am not fully certain.”

"The Empire is gonna come looking for their containers, and likely for us" I say to all of them. Having regained my composure.

Hunter grunts his agreement, "Get out of sight and lay low. Once we get to the Marauder we'll come for you."

"Sir, yes sir" I sneer over a chorus of "Roger that.”

Tech turns to me and glances at Echo, "What you did back there, for us-",”-Cid would probably find a way to make my after life miserable if we all died" I brush it off, waving a hand.

The whole container shifts as if it still hasn’t fully settled. "We haven't fully landed yet" Echo barely finished before the container begins to tip.

Without hesitation, the three of us run towards the top. Dodging the cargo on our way as it crashes to the bottom. We don't quite make it before the whole container is dropping completely upright. The three of us fall briefly only to have our bodies slammed onto the cargo at the bottom. With a quick glance to my left, I see Echo but there’s no sign of Tech.

Neither of us have a chance to look for him, when the sound of metal groaning comes from overhead. A large container breaks free of the cargo net and barrels past the two of us. It crash lands with a loud band and a pained grunt.

Scrambling to the edge of the containers we landed on, Echo and I both look over. Tech is pinned.

"Tech! Tech! Are you alright?" I yell down to him. He doesn’t respond, trying to pry the container off his leg.

”Hang on we’re coming down.” Echo added, sliding himself off his container down to Techs level. I follow suit. The two of us carefully lift the container off him.

Tech snaps, "My left femur has been fractured by approximately 150 kilograms of pressure...so...no.”

"Hang tight. I'll go up top and scope things out" Echo says.

I reach for his bicep to stop him, "Be careful, we are down one of you. I can’t drag you both out of here". His helmeted head dips slightly before making his way to the top.

I take off my backpack and dig through it to find something to brace Tech's leg with. As if he knew exactly what I was thinking he speaks, "Good idea, probably should brace my leg".

Unfortunately, a bandage is the only thing I have. At least it provides some form of support. A quick glance at him with the wrap in my hand and a shrug of permission, I get to work. Once I’ve got it started, I wrap it nice and tight. He grunts.

"Ni ceta (sorry). Almost done" I try to comfort him.

He comms Echo, "What do you see up there?"

"We still haven't landed."

"We need to get out of here" I add my input.

Echo makes a plan, "Alright, we can use a rope to climb up to the ledge. Tech, we can pull you up once we get up there.”

"Copy that" I say, gathering up our things and grabbing Tech's bag.

Echo throws down the rope and I help Tech over to it. "Are you going to be alright for a few minutes?"

"Yes, I'll be fine" he huffs a sigh. With a nod, I begin my climb.

Once I’ve reached the top, I haul myself up over the cliff's edge. Echo and I exchange a quick glance. He’s got one end of the rope tied to a tree, while he himself steadies it. I grab on.

”I’m up. Tech you ready?”

“Ready.”

”Alright. On you Echo.”

“Pull.”

The two of us work in unison pulling Tech to the tip. Sweat starts to bead on my forehead. The only sound over our open channel is a combination of grunts.

"Well this mission has been eventful" Tech says once he reaches the top.

"You don't say.”

Echo ignores our banter "We have to get out of sight.” His visor scanning the tree line.

“So much for the war chest. Cid’s going to be pissed.” I think out loud.

The 3 of us head toward the trees. Echo helps Tech while I keep watch. For some time, we walk in silence. Every so often making sure to glance back at Echo and Tech. With a reassuring nod from the former, my visor turns back ahead of me. I haven’t seen signs of a threat which for once is a nice relief. However, the further we go it seems to be getting foggy.

My comm crackles as if someone is joining our channel, dragging me from my thoughts.

"Havoc-2. The Fourth sun is setting. Plan double zero" Hunter’s voice.

"Copy that" Tech replies.

"What's ‘plan double zero’?" I stop and spin around to face him, cocking my head.

"It means 'go radio silent'. Comm channels are being monitored" Tech explains. Dread spreads through my gut.

My HUD indications start lighting, picking up on something moving ahead of us in the trees, "Osik (shit)...We're being followed" I practically whisper yell.

Drawing a blaster, I throw up a hand signal for them to stop. Tip toeing on bent knees, I quietly continue forward into the brush.

I don’t get too far when I finally find our tail. An older human man cowers below me with my blaster in his face. Echo and Tech are ragged breaths behind me.

"He could be working with the Empire" Echo cautioned.

"Me?" Asks the old man. They debate with the man for a moment but I stop listening because it's pointless.

"Alright look” I snap. “We don't have time for this. I say we tie him up and leave him here. By the time we’re gone he can free himself."

Two visors snap my direction. I shrug. Tech turns back to the man.

”Where is the nearest place to find shelter?”

The man gestures towards my blaster. "Well it's a little hard to think with her pointing a blaster at me."

“I really don’t know what you thought was going to happen when you were tailing us.” I nudge closer and he scrambles back in response. Seeing his eyes widen in fear is enough that he likely won’t try anything. Slowly I lower my blaster but don’t holster it.

The man smiles, "Much appreciated, but sorry to say there's no shelter around these parts.”

Tech does something on his datapad. I scan for more heat signatures. There could be more people waiting for us.

"I'm registering a heat source 200 meters west of here. I suspect it is your domicile." "How did you-" the man starts, his facial expression is priceless.

"Take us there" Echo commands. The man who reluctantly complies.

----

Once we make it to the old man - who told us his name is Romar - place, we relax. A little.

"So, the Mandalorian I get-” Romar starts. I shake my head in offense. “-but what you're telling me is that your rogue clones running from the Empire. Who used to be the Republic?" Romar asks.

I sigh, becoming more annoyed by the second. I've been listening to them explain our situation the whole way here. Leaving him tied up still seems like it would have been the better option.

"Correct. You finally got it right" Tech says taking a seat and removing his helmet, exhaustion plasters his face.

Strolling around Romar’s home its clear he’s not much of a threat. Various personal items are scattered all over. My curiosity gets the best of me I explore, drowning out their conversation. Family heirlooms? I’m not really sure but there’s a series a photos that makes my chest feel unbearably tight. This man must have lost his family. Considering how there's not evidence of anyone else living here.

I pull myself away from the photos, forcing myself to tune back in.

"We?" Asked Echo.

"The other survivors who fled the destruction." Romar says matter of factly.

A glance at Echo and Tech. Trouble. They could be a problem for us if they find out about us. Time for a subject change.

“So what's the deal with the war chests?”

"You think Dooku funded his war effort by only stealing from outside worlds?" He raises his voice. "No. He took from us, his own people. His quest for power is why our city is now buried in rubble."

“I’m shocked you and the others haven’t decided to take it back.”

Romar shakes his head, "I want none of it. Let the Empire take it. The sooner they're gone, the better. And the same goes for you. No offense". Romar glances at me with the last part as if I’m the biggest trouble. "Now if you'll excuse me, some of us have work to do."

As he starts to walk away from Tech and Echo, I sit in front of him. ”Not so fast. How do I know you won’t alert someone we’re here?”

“I don’t want any more trouble than is already here” He replied with a sidelong look.

Seeing the truth in his eyes, I step out of his way and watch as he opens a hatch in the floor. With a quick glance it seems like some kind of food cellar. He looks back at me to see if I’ll make a move. Nodding that I trust him, he turns and disappears down the ladder.

Once he's out of earshot I turn to the others. "We can still scout the site to see if it's clear.” I slide my helmet off and take a seat next to Tech.

"I really don't think it's a good idea.” Echo sighs.

"So, what's the plan then?"

Tech - as if he is finishing a thought out loud - says "The war chest wasn't ours in the first place".

Echo stiffens. "Well, we would have made better use of it.”

"I am simply stating that without the funds from the war chest, We are no worse off than we were before.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose I curse to myself in mando’a. "For the love of all things. Not this again." They both ignore me.

Echo starts pacing with his helmet under one arm. "That's now how I see it. The Empire's growing stronger, and we're still doing nothing about it?" He waves his socket in the air, irritation radiating off him.

Before they can argue more, I step in "Wait, am I missing something?"

Echo scowls at me, "I just feel like we should be doing more to hurt the Empire".

I stand up and grab my helmet, "Then what are we waiting for." Moving for the door, Echo falls behind me.

"Where are you going?" Tech asks.

Echo without even looking back says "To check for patrols".

The two of us exit in silence before I decide to break it, "You think they'll be alright?"

"They'll be fine" he snaps back.

Sighing I slide on my helmet, "look if you don't want to talk about it, I get it but, we kind of need to be on the same page to survive this.” Listening to myself say those words is almost hilarious because I’ve already shut a number of them down for asking questions.

Echo stops and sighs, "Rex is out there trying to save our brothers from the Empire...and we're here. Running odd jobs for Cid.” There’s a deep pain in his voice. “My twin. Fives was his name. He died trying to save us and I’m here. Not doing anything to help the cause.”

”My family was on Mandalore during the bombardment. All of them. Kal’Buir, Ordo, Mereel, Prudii, Jaing, Kom’rk, and A’den. Along with all the others we go out. I have no family left.” I clamp my jaw shut trying to take it all back. The muscles in my jaw start to ache.

A moment of silence passes over the two of us. His body language seems more relaxed, yet I’m hating myself for letting that slip. Aspen is the only other person I’ve ever confided in.

Composing myself I continue. ”Timing is everything. The other clones made their choice and the Empire is planning to replace them with trained civilians anyway. Is it worth risking the family you still have?"

Echo sucks in a deep breath, taking in everything I just said. He smiles and looks down at me, "You know, you fit right in with us.”

His words hit me hard. I’ve known him for what? Not even two standard rotations and there's a shred of me that feels like I can call him a friend.

I laugh nervously, still trying to process. "A Mandalorian, and the 'Bad Batch' rogue clones? Cantinas all around the galaxy will hear the punchline to that joke."

Echo lets out a deep laugh, "Yeah, you got that right."

We patrol the area closer to Romar's home, in comfortable conversation. He even tells me more about Fives. I still can’t bring myself to talk about my family but he doesn’t ask. There aren’t even words for how good it feels to finally have a normal conversation. These guys aren't so bad. They’re just trying to find where they fit in this new galaxy. Kind of like me.

When we make it back to our temporary shelter, Tech and Romar are in conversation. I have no problem interrupting.

"All clear."

Our comms crackle like the channel is back open. “We're in position. Tech, send your coordinates." It's Hunter - We might actually get out of this.

"Transmitting."

"Coordinates received. We're heading your way."

"Go, I will catch up" Tech says to us.

I shake my helmeted head “Mm-mm, Nope. We go together.” My stance is naturally wide and for a split second I find myself reverting back to my days on Kamino. Giving instruction to all those Clone Troopers.

Echo gives a respectful solute and the two of us glance at Tech. His brows rise at my command but he nods. “Very well.”

“Time to bang out.” With a gloved hand in the air, index finger outstretched making a circular motion - the gesture a universal ‘rally’ symbol - a sense of pride washes over me. Kal’Buir would be proud. “Oya!”

————

Reaching the site of our crash landing, the container appears to be undisturbed and there’s no sign of the Empire.

”That’s odd, no? It’s been hours.” The second it came out of my mouth I knew I shouldn’t have opened it.

"Speeders on approach" Echo says whipping around.

“Slana’pir! (Piss off!)”

At the rate Tech is moving this won’t be good. They’re closing in too fast. “Take cover!”

The three of us scatter for cover. I find the nearest tree wide enough to conceal me and put it between me and the enemy. This is bad. This is bad. The sound of the speeders growing louder with their approach. Pressing my back into the trunk I try to calm my racing heart.

The speeders slow and come to a stop not terribly far from me. With a quick peak around the tree the troopers seem to be distracted by something. Tech I now realize is just off to my left and they haven’t seen him. Bending over Tech, grabs something before launching it at the troopers. They share a look before hopping off the speeders and making their way towards him.

With a quick prayer to whatever powers at be, I sneak out from cover to get myself into position behind the troopers. I still have no idea where Echo is and I can’t rely on the fact he knows what's going on. He very well might not.

The trooper further ahead disappears behind some brush. A loud crack follows. “Tech. Come in. Everything alright?” I murmur, hoping he got the upper hand.

Deciding to take on the second one, I draw a knife from behind my back and flip it a few times, eyeballing the shot. With the blade between my index finger and thumb, one quick flick of the wrist and a flash of silver, it buries itself into the trooper's back. He doubles over with a grunt.

"I'm doing well actually. Just making some friends" Tech sasses but sounds as though he’s struggling.

As I approach the trooper – now lying face down on the ground with my knife still in his back – Tech emerges from the brush, limping more heavily. I quickly retrieve the knife, wipe it clean, and return it to its sheath.

“Tech. Raven. Come in. You guys alright?” Echo comms us.

I glance at Tech. He nods and leans his weight against a tree. “Yeah fine. Where are you?”

“Troopers were assembling an eweb. I dealt with it.”

Offering Tech my help, he throws an arm over my shoulders and the two of us meet up with Echo. Who’s casually posed by the massive gun.

"Uh guys..." I say pointing to the gun ship in the distance.

Echo grabs the eweb, taking shots at the ship. Just then the sound of more speeders approaching.

“Can’t we catch a break!?”

With Echo focused on the gun ship, that leaves me and Tech to deal with the speeders.

"You have proved to be quite capable.” He glances over at the rope we left tied to the tree earlier. “Help me get the rope."

"Roger that.”

With the other end of the rope in hand, I tie it to the back of the speeder as Tech hops on. His grunt in frustration draws my attention. He’s on a speeder trying to pull the rope taught but its knot is coming undone on the other end.

"Hang on!" I yell, running for the tree and further securing it.

Once the speeders come into view it's too late. For them. “Go! Go! Go!” Tech hits the throttle pulling the rope as tight as it will go. Just when I think it's about to snap, the two troopers are sent from their speeders through the air. Once they’ve skidded to a haul, neither of them moves.

A smirk tugs at the corner of my lips. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy every bit of watching that.

I was too caught up in what we had just done to notice the ship coming into view. The Marauder. Wrecker is waving at us from the top of the ramp.

"That...would be our ride" Tech says very matter of factly.

Next Chapter

Wattpad link here.

Taglist: (If you want to be added just let me know!) @cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal

#the clones #star wars clone wars #the bad batch #tbb hunter #hunter bad batch #starwars the bad batch #tbb hunter x reader #clone force 99 #tbb hunter x you #hunter #hunter x oc #hunter the bad batch #the bad batch hunter #bad batch hunter #hunter x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #the bad batch x reader #star wars the bad batch #bad batch x reader #star wars bad batch #bad batch

[maybe-im-dark]

Family

"Heh." Rocket's whiskers twitched as his snout curled in a wistful smile.

As so often lately, he watched the young raccoons. They had grown significantly in the past few months. Their once lean bodies were now plump with lush fur, their faces had become broader and fuller, and their small stubby tails had turned into bushy ones with distinctive stripes.

They resembled him more and more every day, if it weren't for the metal implants and the manipulations in his brain. He could feel them sometimes. The nails stuck in his bones when they had been broken and put back together to lengthen his legs and arms. Parts of the bars in his back and collarbones, which allowed him to walk upright and move his shoulders, were even visible from the outside in their massiveness. Enduring running, which was not uncommon on his adventures, led to overuse. The pain then flared up in every part of his modified body and could only be endured on all fours. More often than not, however, he would curl up in a secluded corner. He didn't want the others to see him crawling around in the primitive way his fellows were doing at that moment. How to cut up a brain without killing the person eluded Rocket entirely. He didn't know how they had given him the above-average intelligence. Or whether it might have always been there and only been reinforced by the experiments. Just how smart were raccoons naturally?

"Hey."

A hand on his shoulder startled Rocket from his thoughts and he almost snapped at it reflexively.

Nebula settled down next to him. "You got that thousand yard stare. You thinking of anything?”

Rocket snorted. "I just wonder what's keeping Quill on this boring backwater planet. Maybe he’s assisting his grandfather in dying.”

"What, why would he die?" Nebula asked confused.

"Well, Mantis said Quill didn't want to go there in the first place. He thought his grandfather was dead anyway because people only live to be 50 or so. So the guy must be ancient. He could bite the dust any moment now!”

The luphomoid threw back her head and burst out laughing. "I can't believe you believe that! Man, Quill talks a lot of shit. You know that.” With a sigh, she composed herself. "But seriously, you're distracting. That's not really what you were thinking about.” She looked at the raccoons frolicking in their enclosure. Peter had offered to take them to earth and set them free. But Rocket didn't want to risk anything happening to them. He would make them a home here, on Knowhere.

"They remind you of yourself, don't they? That's why you always come here.” Her gaze lingered on a raccoon, which licked its paws extensively and then rubbed its face.

"There, you do that too!"

Rocket crossed his arms defensively. "I'm not like them at all! They're primitive and wild and… and innocent and carefree and…” His voice cracked.

Nebula put an arm around him. "I know. And now you have a chance to make sure they can stay that way. To give them what was taken from you.”

Rocket nodded and tried hard to swallow the big lump that had formed in his throat.

"How about giving Quill a call? Then you can show him what you've built here. He certainly has a lot to tell.”

 It took quite a while for the connection to be established. Rocket had never understood how Earth could have such ancient technology compared to the rest of the galaxy.

They had just managed to travel their joke of a moon.

Finally Peter's face appeared on the screen. He hastily stuffed the last of a sandwich into his mouth.

"Hey you two! I miss you!"

Rocket grinned crookedly. "Then why don't you get your ass up here?"

"Or you come down here!"

"Nah," said the raccoon. "I don't know how much you told your grandpa, but seeing us in real life might scare him quite a bit. I don’t want him to have a heart attack. He's so old already."

Peter frowned and Nebula rolled her eyes.

"How's it going with you?" she wanted to know.

Quill shrugged. “We do normal things here. I mowed the lawn and made one of Mom's childhood meals. I burned it though. Oh, and Grandpa made sure I can get a driver's license! Then I can finally drive a car properly!”

"Oh yeah cars. They're so much cooler than spaceships, of course,” Rocket interjected, dripping with sarcasm.

Peter studiously ignored the comment. "Have you heard of Mantis?"

He didn't say it out loud, but the question about Gamora remained suspended in the air.

Nebula shook her head. "No, not yet. But I'm sure she'll be in touch soon."

"And you, Rocket? How are the little ones doing? Have you already taught them something?” he turned to his friend.

He moaned in exasperation. "Dude, these are animals! Totally normal animals! You can't teach them anything!"

"You're an animal too!"

"That is something different!"

“And yet you also do animal things! For example, you eat garbage like a real raccoon!” Peter insisted.

"It's not garbage! You just keep throwing away things that are actually still edible!” Rocket countered.

There was nothing wrong with getting fruit and vegetable peelings out of the trash. Why did the others even bother to peel them? They tasted so much better as a whole.

"Remember that time I went to the bathroom at night and accidentally shone my flashlight on you? Your eyes glowed green and I almost pissed myself! Or better yet," now Quill had to laugh, "when I pranked him!" He turned to Nebula. "I filled a bowl with Cosmo's dog food and water and told him it was cereal. He actually ate it and said it tasted good!”

Rocket made a face. He didn't like being laughed at at all. Peter noticed his friend's mood and stopped abruptly.

"I'm sorry. But that's just a part of you. And I'm glad you can accept it now. You're an animal, but that doesn't count. It is not important what you are, but who you are. You are my very best friend. And I'm glad you found your family."

"No," Rocket replied, smiling. "I haven't found a family. I've already had one. It just got a bit bigger.”

#guardians of the galaxy #gotg #guardians of the galaxy 3 #gotg 3 #fanfiction #gotg fanfiction #rocket raccoon #nebula #peter quill

[acorpsecalledcorva]

Definitely something that struck home for me about Sar and Ozturk s Theory of the Functional Dissociation of the Self is the idea of how a 'Sociological Self' develops in absence of it's connection to the 'Psychological Self'. In fact, my final year uni project was on this very subject (I just didn't realise it at the time) on how it relates to gender, i.e. I know what my gender identity is, but where did my definition of what that identity means come from? Why do some aspects of gender feel right to me and others feel wrong?

And this extends from a much more holistic sense of who the fuck is us? Who am I? Really? At my core, what is really there that is me? What of me is truly mine? Because I've never even felt like a real person, let alone a whole person. I'm a facsimile of a person. A simulacrum in the simulation that is the world I experience.

And discovering that I was a system didn't really help with that either, am I the sum of my parts? Am I a teenage girl and a child and a vampire and a wolf and a cat boy and a 16th century Norwegian witch and a dead girl from Belgium and a crow monster and my father and my mother and my ex fiancee and so many other unique and incompatible identities? I can't be. Because they're very much not me. In fact on a very fundamental level they must not be me, that's the whole purpose of their existence, to be not me.

The way that Sar and Ozturk phrase it is that, under the pressure of an environment filled with insurmountable stresses that can't be overcome, the 'psychological self' is buried and hidden away to protect it. The 'Sociological Self' must therefore not only develop without it, but make up for it's absence. By avoiding the internal, it must rely on the external to inform it. If the immediate external environment is too harsh, which, of course it is, then it must expand it's scope beyond to wider culture and failing that, the fictional (not that culture is anything more than the fictions we collectively tell ourselves but you know what I mean). Rejected by the host, the 'Psychological Self' attempts to reach out to the world by creating new 'Sociological Selves', using the vision of the world internalised by the host as templates on how and who to be.

And this is what "less than one personality" means to me. Not a broken plate that can be put back together, or a broken mirror where all the individual pieces are still mirrors, but the result of multiple attempts to create a cohesive sense of self without full access to the entirety of human experience. Some attempts are based on lies, others on guesses, and some may be partially correct but lack context or a place to be understood and fully realised.

I'm like those old medieval drawings of animals based on descriptions of animals but having never seen them before.

This. This is me. This is what I really am. I'm like if a person didn't know what a person was and tried to make more people.

Especially bottom right, that may as well be a fucking selfie of my subconscious.

And of course I know there's a me, somewhere inside, there's a me that is me, but I can't find it, it's hidden from me. I look and I feel where it must be, but I just cannot grasp what it is. Like I kinda understand now what my IFS therapist was talking about in reference to a "core self", I now know what is meant by that, and I also know why I feel so strongly that I don't have one. Like dark matter, I can theorise about the properties of the glue that holds my galaxy together, but I cannot for the life of me detect it, I cannot interact with it, it's completely invisible, totally outside of my reach, but it's there. But it's not a whole personality either, it's not even a part of my personality, I cannot just add it to my other parts because it's isolation has left it undeveloped. Imagine asking for a dozen cupcakes and getting 11 cupcakes and a pile of flour, sugar, and egg. It's not just a missing piece, it's not even a piece yet.

And it's this, this separation and underdevelopment of the 'Psychological Self' upheld by Dissociative barriers and absolute phobia of the internal that separates my experience as a DID system from other members of the wider plural including endogenic community. I'm not going to say that this is the defining DID experience, because it's not, but it's definitely why I fail to relate to a metric fuck ton of y'alls experiences and description of yourselves, just as so many of you may tell me that you don't relate to what I'm saying right now.

And it's of course worth mentioning that this is only one way of rationalising things. It's like the oceans, we draw lines and say "this is the Pacific and this is the Atlantic" and there's value in some contexts to divide them this way and compare the differences between them, or the different layers of the atmosphere saying "this is the stratosphere and this is the flanglesphere" but it's all water and it's all air. Which way we divide it and where we draw the lines is only as important as what we're trying to achieve by doing so and the purpose that it serves.

This framework helps me to conceptualise myself the best so far, if it helps you conceptualise yourself too then you can incorporate it, if it doesn't and you have a better one then you can use that. We're all just smudges in a left handed person's handwriting at the end of the day.

#syscourse #system community #sysblr #plural community #actually did #did system #dissociative identity disorder

[thenovelartist]

Life After Destruction - Chapter 7 - Honkai: Star Rail

<Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter>

Month seven meant only one more month aboard the Astral Express before Stelle and Dan Heng would be dropped off at the Xianzhou Luofu. Stelle felt like things were happening so fast. The pressure to get everything in order this month, including finishing shopping for the nursery, was beginning to weigh on her.

However, there had been one minor roadblock to accomplishing that goal: Himeko and March practically begging her to wait with any form of shopping. Although Stelle supposed she would have a month on the Luofu to collect any remaining items she needed, she still wanted to get things in order now, as did Dan Heng. In the end, the two were so adamant in their request that she had to cave, and despite her repeated asks, they never told her the reason.

Until today.

“Surprise!” Asta and March said, waving excitedly at the obnoxiously large pile of gifts.

Surprise, indeed. To say Stelle’s jaw was on the floor was probably an understatement. Beside her, Dan Heng looked equally shocked. Probably because when Himeko said they needed to go to Herta Space Station to gather supplies, it never crossed either of their minds that this would be what she'd meant.

“Yeah, yeah, surprise,” Herta reluctantly agreed with all the minimal enthusiasm she could muster. To be fair to her, the fact Herta had even come down to greet them was a surprise in itself. “Now get all this garbage off my ship. It’s preventing me from seeing my curios.”

“Madam Herta,” Asta gently chided. “I know you don’t mean that. Didn’t you get them a gift, too?”

“I didn’t want to,” she snipped. “It was Screwllems’s stupid idea, and Ruan Mei just had to jump on board. But… I guess it’s not totally worthless. Because of this idiot—” Herta roughly pointed at Stelle— “I’m still able to do my studies and experiments in this galaxy. Although, she could have avoided getting knocked up.” With those biting words, she glared at Dan Heng.

Stelle chuckled nervously. Although Herta’s words said one thing, Stelle was fairly certain the only reason she was mad was because Stelle hadn’t been able to help test the Simulated Universe for far too long.

Dan Heng, for his part, simply ignored it. “So,” he began, looking over the mountain of gifts once again before turning to March and Asta. “Would you like to explain why there are so many gifts here?”

“It’s for a baby shower!” March explained. “Er… kind of.”

“You two are kind of famous, you know,” Asta elaborated. “So it was only natural that people would want to know that the galaxy’s savior was pregnant with her first child. These are all the congratulatory gifts from, well… everyone.”

Stelle looked over the tower again. This mountain was the galaxy’s well-wishes to her?

Her hand went up to rest on top of her growing stomach.

“Um.” From behind them, Arlan spoke up. “Would you like me to start organizing the transfer of these gifts to the Express?”

“Yes!” Herta cried. “Get them out of here. I’ve got more important things to do, like finding someone who doesn’t have a medical exemption from assisting with my tests of the Simulated Universe. I’m trying to get in contact with Nanook there since he’s long dead in the real world. Curious minds need to know his reasonings behind these wars.”

“You can have Caelus for your experiments,” Stelle offered.

Herta quirked a brow at her. “Who?”

“Wow, that’s mean,” March muttered under her breath.

“We’ve all done it,” Stelle flatly countered, trying to justify away the niggling guilt she felt. “It’s his turn. Think of it as a rite of passage.”

Dan Heng hummed. “If he wants the full experience of being a trailblazer, I suppose assisting Madam Herta is part of it.”

Despite being a doll, Herta’s eyes started gleaming. “Oh, so he is a new member? That would be useful to get a fresh perspective on the alterations to the Simulated Universe. You all have adapted well to it, which has been helpful in its own way, but that might have skewed an accurate perception of it.”

“He’s probably still with Himeko at the Express,” Dan Heng answered.

“Oh, perfect.” And with that, Herta shuffled past Arlan and out the door.

Asta cleared her throat to break the awkward atmosphere. “If you would please, Arlan. Moving all this will take a while.”

“G-got it,” he replied. “It’s preferable to being dragged around by Madam Herta. Just… don’t tell her I said that.”

“Where is this even going to go on the Express?” Stelle asked.

“Himeko said she’s figured that out already,” March dismissed. “So don’t worry about it.”

That was an impossible task. Especially as another question came to mind. “Where is all this going to go in the nursery?”

“Oh!” March’s eyes lit up. “So that’s the thing. When Himeko and I sent out the announcement, we kinda realized that you might end up with an excess of baby things. Himeko suggested they send things for the baby to grow into instead of just baby things. She promised that you guys could put all the things you wouldn’t need right away in storage.”

“Well,” Dan Heng said, nodding in approval, “that certainly is more practical, considering how many planets seemed to have been informed.”

“Yeah,” Asta agreed. “But they were all more than happy to send things along. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have all this.”

That was true. At that realization, Stelle felt quite honored.

Don’t cry, she mentally warned when she felt herself suddenly get emotional, an unfortunate side effect of her pregnancy. Suck it up. It’s fine. It’s just… really nice of everyone.

Soon enough, she was dabbing at her eyes.

“Please tell me those are happy tears,” Asta said, suddenly getting worried.

Dan Heng wrapped his arm around Stelle’s waist, and she allowed him to pull her close. “Yeah. I’m fine,” she said, leaning against Dan Heng's shoulder.

“Is it overwhelming?” Dan Heng quietly asked.

Stelle nodded. “But it’s really nice of everyone.”

“It… it really is,” Dan Heng agreed. “We’re going to have to thank everyone for their thoughtfulness.”

“I’ve got you covered,” Asta said, grabbing one of the boxes that was exceedingly plain. She took off the cardboard lid, showing a small booklet and a stack of cards and envelopes. “This is for you to record who gave you what. And then I got actual letters for you to send. Hopefully, that won’t be too overwhelming.”

“We’ll manage,” Dan Heng said. “Although… this will be quite the task.”

Stelle could not disagree in the slightest.

“I can help if you want,” March offered. “I don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” Stelle said, shooting her friend a smile. As kind as it was for her to offer, Stelle had the feeling she’d manage on her own. After all, she was getting quite bored staying still on the Express, her growing stomach getting in the way of being too adventurous. Writing a million cards might just be the cure for her boredom.

Or it would drive her insane. With her mood swings, who knew. Either way, it had to be better than helping Herta test the Simulated Universe…

Right?

~~~

Dan Heng had no idea how they managed to fit all the gifts in the Astral Express. Looking over the storage room that was practically overflowing, he was dreading the task of opening them. However, he would not complain. This was extremely generous of the galaxy at large, and he was appropriately thankful for their consideration. Furthermore, with all these gifts, it was likely he and Stelle wouldn’t have to go shopping for much more. That is, if they had to go shopping at all. While he wouldn’t have minded going shopping for the baby, he also couldn’t deny he would prefer if he didn’t have to. Shopping had never been his favorite thing, and one particular pre-Stelle shopping trip he’d been forced to take with March had spoiled that task for life.

“So,” Himeko began, approaching Dan Heng, “What do you think of the surprise? We wanted to organize a proper baby shower for Stelle, but that just wasn’t possible.”

“This is more than enough,” Dan Heng assured with a smile. “Thank you. It must have taken considerable effort on your part to organize this.”

“It did, but it was worth it. Hopefully, March and I did a good enough job communicating with everyone so you won’t get too many repeated items. You should be covered with a range of things up into their childhood years. Although, organizing certain toddler items does become more challenging when you don’t know if you’ll have a boy or a girl.”

“Stelle wanted to keep it a surprise. Otherwise, you would have known.”

“I know. And I also know you went along with her wishes to keep her happy." She then poked his shoulder. "Just remember you’re the father. You’re allowed to ask for things, too.”

“I know,” he returned. “But I couldn’t ask for anything more than what she’s given me. While I would have liked to know, just so I could be as prepared as possible, it ultimately doesn’t matter if we know ahead of time or not. I’ll be happy either way.”

Himeko’s smile was gentle. “Stelle’s very lucky to have you as her husband. And your child is going to be lucky to have you as a father.”

Bashful, Dan Heng turned back to look over the gifts. “I’ll… do my best.”

“Give yourself a little credit,” Himeko teased. “You deserve it.”

Unsure of what to say, Dan Heng simply nodded. He had plenty of doubts lingering in his mind over this, but he had to conquer them alone. And quickly, at that. The baby would be here before they knew it. While Dan Heng knew that everything about their life would change because of it, there was also only so much he could do to prepare. He would just have to adapt to everything else and hope he didn’t mess things up, for his child’s sake.

“Have you figured out names yet?” Himeko asked.

He nodded, thankful for the change in conversation. “Yes, we’ve settled on names for both genders.”

“Are you going to keep those a surprise, too?” Himeko lightly prodded.

“Yes,” Dan Heng said, giving her a slight smile. “But that was my idea to do so.”

“Haha. You two are certainly keeping everyone in suspense.”

Dan Heng shut the door to the storage room, blocking out the overwhelming sight of the mountainous stack of gifts for now. “On a different note,” he began, making his way back to the parlor. “I will be sitting this next mission out so as to help Stelle—”

“She warned me to not allow you to do that,” Himeko interrupted. “She said she could handle the presents and thank you cards on her own but that you should get out and about as much as possible before the baby is born. I agree with her. I doubt you’ll want to leave her side for a while after your baby arrives, so I don’t want you to get sick of the Astral Express too soon.”

Dan Heng sighed. Part of him figured this would happen. If it was just Himeko’s idea, he’d probably argue with her, but he wasn’t going to test Stelle. Her emotional state was growing more unstable with each passing month, so he didn't want to start needless fights with her. She was only doing this out of consideration for him, anyway. 

“It will be fine,” Himeko said. “You two can open the gifts together while we’re traveling. Then whoever stays behind with Stelle can help her write all the thank you notes. That is, if she wants the help in the first place. It’s quite obvious Stelle is growing plenty bored staying on the Express all the time. The letters will give her something to do.”

When Himeko put it that way, Dan Heng thought maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to leave that job up to Stelle, after all.

“Besides,” Himeko continued. “I appreciate you teaching Caelus what you know before you disappear on us. Don’t say this to March, but between the two of you, you are the better teacher.”

Dan Heng smirked in amusement. “My lips are sealed.” Although, he did suppose Himeko had a point when it came to Caelus. He was a plenty capable person and well-trained, but he came with his own challenges and quirks. Stellaron Hunters did things very differently than the Nameless, so there was much to teach him as well as many tricks to learn from him.

And if Dan Heng were being honest, he enjoyed having a male companion compared to traveling with two girls all the time. Not that he didn’t adore said girls, especially since they were his wife and someone he thought of as a sister.

They entered the parlor to see Stelle still chatting with March, Asta, and Arlan. Upon spying Dan Heng, Stelle grinned, waving him to come over before motioning to a large box at her feet. “From the Space Station.”

“Though Arlan organized it,” Asta said, elbowing the young man.

Arlan chuckled sheepishly. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure we will,” Stelle said. “Thank you.”

“And don’t worry,” Arlan added on, shooting Asta a warning look. “I didn’t let Lady Asta spend any money on it. She went overboard with the clothes, anyway.”

“I did not,” Asta countered. “It was fine.”

“It was not fine,” Stelle said. “It’s just that no one can stop you when you start.”

Before Asta could come up with a retort, the door to the Astral Express opened, and a frazzled Caelus entered.

Upon seeing all eyes were on him, he started waving his hands about. “Let me get this straight: you’ve all helped Madam Herta with her little ‘virtual reality’ experiment?”

Tempering a grin, Dan Heng nodded, noting that the others were all doing the same. He almost pitied Caelus. Almost. He’d suffered Madam Herta’s experiments enough over the years. It was Caelus’ turn to take up that torch. Besides, the more people who volunteered, the fewer times each person would have to assist.

“Like, once or twice?” Caelus tentatively inquired.

Stelle answered, “Sometimes, several times a week.”

“A week?” Caelus repeated, horrified.

“How’d you like it?” March teasingly prodded.

Caelus couldn’t answer right away, words clearly having failed him. Eventually, he just shook his head. “So many bugs.”

“Aww,” Stelle mockingly cooed. “You don’t even know the half of it.”

~~~

The pile of scrapped gift wrapping was growing astronomically fast, and the nursery was filling up with items almost as quickly. So far, there’d been a wide variety of things, from baby necessities to toddler clothing to a range of toys. Then there was the variety of wild card items ranging from medicine to information for the archives to weapons.

And then Stelle still wasn’t fully sure what that thing was over in the corner.

But even those odd items came with things like some diapers or children’s books, and each gift came with a letter of congratulations from the senders. Typically, they were from the government at large, but there were a few exceptions.

“Another from Belobog.”

Stelle took the gift Dan Heng offered her, the fourth one from Belobog. One from Bronya, who spoke on behalf of the country at large, then another from the Silvermane Guards. Wildfire even got her a gift.

As she looked over the plain brown box, her heart warmed upon seeing the still scratchy lettering that she recognized as Hook’s scrawl. To: Honorary Member and Little Honorary Member. From: The Moles. “They’re too sweet.”

“They are very kind," Dan Heng agreed. "I’m sure it wasn’t easy for them to scrape together the money to send that.”

That was true. Inter-astral mail wasn’t cheap. Even though she knew all the members of the Moles each had their own paying jobs now, it must have put quite the dent in their pockets.

Stelle opened the slightly battered box to reveal a jar of marbles, a teddy bear that looked handmade with a handful of clothes to go with it, and a torn, tattered book titled “Adventures of the Moles”. The longer she looked over the gifts, the more she recognized them, and soon enough, she began to feel overly emotional.

“I’m gonna yell at them for giving us these,” she whispered, her eyes growing watery.

“You should probably text them right away,” Dan Heng suggested, a gentle smile on his face while he soothingly stroked her hair.

“Yeah, probably.”

Dan Heng set the box carefully aside for her while Stelle pulled out her phone.

“I’m going to empty out the trash bin again,” Dan Heng said, standing from his seat. “And bring back the next round of gifts. Take your time.”

“Thanks,” she said, already tapping away at her phone.

Stelle: Hook! I just opened your gift!

Stelle: I love it. Thank you so much!

Stelle: Tell the others I said thanks, too.

Before Stelle could put her phone away, she saw little bubbles flash on the screen.

Hook: I’m glad! Do you like the teddy? I sewed it all by myself!

Hook: I asked the old witch to teach me how, and she said she would if I cleaned the clinic.

Hook: But she actually made me clean the clinic! (;° ロ°)

Stelle couldn’t help but chuckle. She could easily imagine the huffy pout Hook was wearing.

Stelle: It’s about time she made you keep your word. Natasha was too soft.

Hook: Honorary member! How dare you betray us!

Hook: Oh no she caught me

Stelle: Good luck with your punishment.

With a grin, Stelle put her phone down. Over the years, Hook had grown fond of the clinic. More often than not, Hook would volunteer a little of her time to help Natasha tidy the place up. Not exactly any of the “months” she’d ever promised, but Stelle supposed that development was enough to show just how much Hook had grown up.

While mustering the willpower to stand up and help Dan Heng pull some more presents into the nursery, her phone chimed. She looked over, expecting to see a message from Hook detailing how she escaped.

Natasha: Hey, Stelle. I’m sorry to bother you, but since you texted Hook, I thought you might be free for a moment. I have a question to ask of you.

Stelle: Of course. Shoot.

Natasha: Feel free to tell me I’m sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but have you set up a birth plan yet?

Honestly, Stelle should have been expecting that from Natasha. If anything, she should have told Natasha her plans earlier.

Stelle: Yes. We’ve decided to go to the Xianzhou Luofu, which is Dan Heng’s home world. I believe I’ve told you about Bailu, correct? She was incredibly picky in recommending doctors to us.

Natasha: That’s good to hear you have people you trust. If you hadn’t, I was going to ask if I could help you in any way. Of course, if you need me for anything, I’ll help out as much as I can.

Stelle: Thank you. I promise I’ll contact you if I need anything.

Though it was reasonable to leave it at that, Stelle kinda wanted to keep the conversation going. Hence, she found herself typing out another message.

Stelle: Actually, I had been debating about coming to Belobog. I trust you as a doctor and would have felt the most comfortable with you, if I am being honest. But for other reasons, the Luofu is ultimately better.

Stelle: Sometimes I wish you could come, but I know you’re busy with the clinic. :)

Just as she finished, Dan Heng returned, his arms full of gifts once again.

Stelle put her phone down. “How many more do we have to go?”

Dan Heng dropped the tall stack. “With this, we’ve gotten through approximately two-thirds of the gifts.”

Stelle heaved a sigh. It had been a marathon, to say the least. She was growing tired of them, even though she was still incredibly thankful. Because of what they had received so far, the nursery was already stocked with everything they could need or want. Heck, they’d even gotten things they certainly didn’t need. At this point, she couldn't even fathom what other surprises there could possibly be.

Before Dan Heng could hand her the gift from the top of the pile, her phone dinged again.

Natasha: If you’d like, I can try to organize coming with you. I have two new assistants that could take over for a short period.

Natasha: I would have to double-check with some of the others, though, to make sure everything with Wildfire is running smoothly and that it would be okay.

Stelle blinked a few times at the message.

“Something happen?” Dan Heng asked, sitting down beside her again.

“Um…” Stelle pursed her lips as she glanced over to Dan Heng. “Natasha offered to come with us to be there for the birth of our baby.”

“Oh?”

Stelle nodded.

“Would you like that?”

“I mean… yeah.”

“But you’re hesitating.”

Stelle let her phone fall into her lap, giving Dan Heng her full attention. “Do you think Bailu would be okay with that? Or would that cause more problems? She said she’d already screened all the doctors there for us to meet. And I know Natasha said she’d be okay to leave for a bit, but we’ll be there for a month. Is it okay for her to leave for that long?”

Dan Heng paused in thought. “I wouldn’t worry about Bailu. Even though she did take time to recommend doctors to us, I doubt she would fault you for bringing a doctor you trust. As for if Natasha can take that time away from the clinic, I’d say tell her our plan and let her decide if she can accommodate us.”

“You think I should?” Stelle asked.

“I think you have the right to be comfortable with people you trust. And if they’re offering, I would accept. And... to be honest, I would be comfortable with Natasha, as well. For your sake."

Feeling more confident, Stelle picked up her phone again. "Bailu would be disappointed if she knew you didn't trust her judgment."

"I trust people you and I both know and have worked with. That's all."

Although he spoke them dismissively, she was happy to have her husband's full support. She leaned over to drop her head on his shoulder while she texted Natasha back.

Stelle: Are you sure that would be okay? About three weeks from now, we will head to the Luofu with plans on remaining there until the baby is born. By that time, I’ll only be eight months, so we’ll likely be there for a month or so. Is it possible for you to take all that time away from your clinic?

She sent off the message before dropping the phone back into her lap. 

Beside her, Dan Heng pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head before handing her another gift. 

"Was that encouagement to keep up this marathon?" she asked, feeling all fluttery from the tiny gesture. 

"Possibly."

"Possibly," she repeated, amused. Still, she sat up straight to open the gift, this one a box of children’s books and some unisex clothes. 

After recording the information in the booklet, Dan Heng took them to set aside just as her phone dinged again.

Natasha: So you’ll be spending the last month of your pregnancy there? That’s a wise idea. As for the length of duration on my account, things here should be fine between the two assistants that I’ve trained to handle the clinic here. Things have never run more smoothly. I’m sure I can disappear for a month or two. 

Natasha: Actually, Seele just came and told me to leave the affairs of Wildfire to her and Oleg. It seems I might be pushed to go with you in the end.

Stelle: If you’re able to, I would really like to have you around. 

Stelle: Take your time organizing things. We can come pick you up when it comes time and take you to the Luofu with us. I think you’d really like it.

Natasha: I would be going as your doctor first and foremost. But, when you put it that way, I guess that I would have a little free time to enjoy exploring a new place. That would be quite exciting. :D 

“I think it’s going to work out,” Stelle said, grinning as she looked over to Dan Heng.

He returned her smile with one of his own. “Then I’ll inform Bailu a little later once you two have sorted out more of the details.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Well, while you’re continuing to communicate with her, would you like to switch tasks? I’ll open the next gifts and you record them?”

Stelle looked over the tower of gifts before her. Her stomach sank even further when she recalled there were still more in the storage area. “Yeah, gimme the notebook before I get sick of opening gifts forever.”

~~~

“And you’re certain you packed everything?” Dan Heng asked for the final time.

Stelle sighed, clearly getting tired of his constant questioning. Yet, he watched her silently count on her fingers as she looked over their luggage. “Pretty sure.”

“All the baby’s things that Natasha instructed us to pack?”

“That was the bag I packed first.”

He nodded, looking over the luggage one last time. He couldn’t shake this anxious feeling swirling through him, like he was forgetting something. Or maybe he was anxious because he was about to spend the next month with Stelle on the Xianzhou Luofu. This would be the longest period of time he’d spent away from the Express since first boarding. Furthermore, he wasn’t leaving for a mission but rather for a familial reason, which felt still extremely strange to him.

“Well, if you’re finished questioning me for the umpteenth time, are you ready to go?” Stelle asked.

Startled from his thoughts, he looked back up at her. “Y-yeah. I think so.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, but she was quick to shoot him a doubtful look. Worried that she was about to call his bluff, he reached for their luggage bags, ones the space station had gifted them for this very reason. “We should go,” he said. “The others put aside their expedition to make this trip specifically for us. I don’t want to keep them long.”

“I guess you’re right.” And with that, Stelle reached for her bag.

“Grab the baby’s bag,” Dan Heng instructed. “That’s all I’ll let you carry.”

She frowned up at him. “I can carry more.”

“You are carrying plenty.” He reached out to lay a hand on her stomach. “So don’t overexert yourself.”

“I’m fine, you know,” she quietly countered, placing her hand on top of his, a habit she'd picked up from whenever the baby was kicking and she pulled him close to feel it. At the moment, the baby was quiet. Maybe it too was feeling the stress of everything.

“I’d like to keep you that way.” With that, he leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Hey.”

He couldn't help but grin at the little pout she shot him, his worries disappearing for a second. Reaching up to cradle her cheek, he angled her head towards him and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Better?”

She grinned. “Thank you. For that, I guess I’ll let you carry the bags.”

He huffed in amusement.

Soon enough, the duo made their way to the parlor, Stelle carrying the baby backpack while Dan Heng dragged one large, rolling suitcase behind him. It fit quite a bit of their clothes for the month, but the rest of their things were packed in the overlarge pack he wore on his back. For some reason, a slight chill haunted him as he marched down the hallway. It disturbed him, this odd feeling of finality that hung in the air, like an end was imminent. He tried to tell himself he would return here to the Astral Express and that things would be fine, but the sadness weighing on his heart was too heavy to entirely ignore.

“There they are,” Himeko spoke once Dan Heng and Stelle entered the parlor. “Are the both of you set?”

“I believe so,” Dan Heng answered, pushing aside his feelings for now and focusing on the present. Beside him, Stelle made a show of crossing her fingers.

“Then this is where we part ways.” Himeko was the first to reach out and pull Stelle in a hug. “We’ll miss you. We’ll be hoping for a safe delivery.”

“Thank you,” Stelle muttered in return.

March was up next. “It will be so weird not having you two around,” she said, clinging tight to Stelle.

“It’ll be weirder when we bring back a baby,” Stelle bantered back.

“That’s true. But I’ll take that weirdness any day if it means you two are back.”

Dan Heng felt a small sense of relief knowing that he wasn’t the only one feeling strange about this whole arrangement. Not that there was anything to be done about it; it was part of Stelle’s pregnancy. One would have thought Dan Heng would have gotten used to change by now, with the months Stelle’s pregnancy had already altered their lives in numerous ways, but this felt different. They’d always had the Astral Express and the Nameless by their side to help them through it. Now, they were temporarily heading out on their own.

A weight on his shoulder called him out of his thoughts, and Dan Heng looked over to Welt. “I wish you both a restful month before the baby arrives,” Welt said, giving Dan Heng’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “You two have earned it.”

“We’ll try,” Dan Heng responded.

“Don’t worry,” Caelus said, giving Dan Heng’s other shoulder a bump with his fist. “We’ll take care of everything around here.”

“I believe you will.” Dan Heng had seen how quickly Caelus had integrated into the Astral Express crew. He would manage on his own. Although, Dan Heng still had some reservations about Caelus and March running missions together. The combination of March’s friendly, somewhat naive personality paired with Caelus’ impulsive nature was doubtlessly going to wind the pair in trouble at some point.

Caelus then turned to Stelle, reaching an arm out towards her. “Take care.”

Stelle returned the side hug with a smile. Despite the amnesia between the two of them making their past a jumbled mishmash of memories, they’d grown close over the last couple of months. Maybe because of how similar they ultimately were. “Don’t get in trouble,” Stelle warned him.

“I promise… to do my best.”

“March,” Stelle said, turning to her friend. “If something goes wrong, remember: blame him.”

“Hey!”

March laughed. “You got it.”

Caelus leveled a glare at March. “Rude.”

Chuckling, March shot back a cheeky wink and peace sign.

While the duo went at it, Welt had sided up to Stelle. “Take care,” he told her, reaching up to rest a hand on her head. “I’ll be hoping you have an easy delivery.”

Grinning, she reached out to wrap her arms around his torso. “Thanks.”

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders, looking every bit like a proud grandfather-to-be.

“Stay safe,” Himeko said, now at Dan Heng’s side.

“We will,” he returned.

“And know that we’ll always be here if you need anything,” she continued.

“I wouldn’t want to bother you any more than we have.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Himeko easily dismissed. “You and Stelle have been travelers on the Express for so long that you’re the closest thing to family I have. I guarantee you that the others feel the same. So it’s no bother. Besides, we’ll all miss you and can’t wait for you to come back, baby and all.”

At her words, more of the chilly unease in Dan Heng’s stomach dissipated. Maybe that was what had him in such a frenzy: he was leaving this place he considered home behind, even if it was just for a bit. For someone who grew up with nothing only to be exiled when he was old enough, the last thing he wanted was to let go of every treasure he'd found, for it to disappear.

But it wouldn’t. It was only a temporary shift for the sake of Stelle and his child. And once the baby arrived, they would come back home, to where his—no, their family was waiting.

“Sorry, sorry!” A sudden newcomer burst into the parlor. “I overslept. Apologies if I kept everyone waiting.”

“You came right on time,” Himeko assured. “Although, I feel bad for having to wake you in the first place. You seemed quite comfortable.”

“I was,” Natasha guiltily admitted. “Seems I’ve been working too hard lately and not getting enough rest.”

“Well, I hope you are able to get some rest on the Luofu.”

“On the contrary, I fear I’ll be too excited to want to sleep. And considering I have the very rare pleasure of caring for a single patient, I’ll have plenty of time to study a different world. I won’t want to miss a minute.”

Dan Heng spoke up, “I’m sure Bailu would be happy to let you read her medical texts.”

At that, Natasha’s eyes lit up. “It would be wonderful if I could find new techniques or medicines to take back to Belobog.”

“With as much free time as you’ll have,” Stelle chimed in. “I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“I look forward to it.”

With one last round of goodbyes, Dan Heng, Stelle, and Natasha headed toward the train's exit. Only, before they disembarked, Dan Heng transformed into his vidyadhara figure. Which he realized too late that Natasha had never seen before.

"That is... quite the surprise," Natasha commented, accepting the shift with grace. "But, I guess it shouldn't be, Cold Dragon Young."

He sighed. "I am impressed you can remember such a fleeting name."

"Fleeting?" Natasha asked, a mischievous twinkle coming to her eye. "The children still call you that."

Dan Heng wasn't quite sure what to think of that. Stelle certainly found it amusing, though. 

When they disembarked the Express, they were immediately greeted by a surprisingly large welcoming party, the most notable two being a young vidyadhara and a not-so-fearsome Cloud Knight Commander.

“Dan Heng! Stelle!” Bailu was the first to run up to them, throwing her arms around Stelle. “Man, you’re huge.”

“Gee, thanks,” Stelle deadpanned, still patting Bailu on the head.

“It’s an observation, not an insult,” she quipped back. Her pout soon became a grin as she turned to Dan Heng and threw her arms around him. “Welcome back.”

Dan Heng returned the hug Bailu gave him, although he didn’t cling to her nearly as tight as she did him. “Good to see you, Bailu.”

Having properly greeted him and Stelle, Bailu then turned to Natasha. “Ah, are you the doctor that Stelle wanted to bring?”

“Yes. I’m Natasha. You must be Bailu.”

“That I am.”

“I’ve heard much about you.”

“You should have,” Bailu proudly piped up. “Dan Heng is basically my brother.”

“Play nice,” Dan Heng warned, patting Bailu on the head as he walked past her, dragging the luggage behind him.

“Fine,” she playfully bemoaned. “But only because you asked nicely.”

Leaving the girls behind to chat among themselves, Dan Heng approached a grinning Jing Yuan.

“I believe a hearty congratulations is in order,” the man warmly greeted.

“Thank you.” Over the years, Dan Heng had forged an odd sort of acquaintanceship with Jing Yuan. He was sure that Jing Yuan would never be able to fully forget Dan Heng’s past incarnation and the close friendship he’d shared with Dan Feng, yet Dan Heng could tell the commander had moved beyond that and saw him for the person he was in this life instead of the man he once had been.

“Come now, no need to be so modest. You’re the first vidyadhara to ever reproduce. You should be thrilled.”

“I am,” Dan Heng said. “I simply have other concerns on my mind at the moment. Such as how the general population has reacted to that fact."

Jing Yuan’s expression grew serious, which only made the pit of worry in Dan Heng’s stomach grow. “I apologize. I encouraged Lady Bailu to leak that news. I thought it would be for the better to stir the pot and see what bubbled up beforehand rather than you appearing with your pregnant wife unannounced.”

He sighed, a heaviness weighing on his heart. Maybe this was the other reason he was so afraid to leave the Express behind. Yes, he would miss his family, but here, there were threats to Stelle lurking just under the surface. And if anything happened to her or the baby…

Well, he feared he understood Dan Feng a little too well in moments like this.

“You aren’t one to make an impulsive decision like that without council,” Dan Heng said. “I’m assuming you contacted the head diviner before making that call.”

“I’m pleased to know you know me so well. Yes, I did. She also agreed with that plan, believing it gave us the best chance to monitor the population’s reaction and weed out any potential threats prior to your arrival.”

“Did it yield harvest?”

“It did,” Jing Yuan confirmed. “They are facing judgment for their scheming. Although, I would refrain from claiming we’ve eliminated all threats. While many vidyadhara have accepted you back into the fold, there are those who still hate you regardless. To be honest, the other reason we wished to leak the information beforehand was to ensure that it would be safe for you to come here in the first place. Had the population reacted poorly, I would have told Bailu to send you elsewhere. However, the general consensus is a positive one. Most of the vidyadhara are happy to learn of your ability to father a child. You are now a symbol of hope for their race, after all.”

For a moment, Dan Heng was silent. “I understand that Stelle’s pregnancy provides hope to the vidyadhara population at large, and I should have pride in the fact I’m able to contribute in such a way to my race. But…” He turned to look at Stelle, who was grinning as Bailu held her swollen belly with a look of awe. “That is the last thing on my mind.”

Jing Yuan hummed. “I suppose I can’t fault you for that. Ultimately, you are no different than any other excited father.”

Dan Heng turned back to Jing Yuan. “There is a vast difference between knowing you have a child to carry on the legacy of a race incapable of having children and knowing that you are blessed to have a child.”

With an approving grin, Jing Yuan dropped a hand on Dan Heng’s shoulder. “That child is lucky to have you as a father. I’m happy for you.”

Dan Heng nodded his thanks.

Jing Yuan then gave Dan Heng’s shoulder a squeeze. “I swear on my honor that I’ll do everything I can to keep you and Stelle safe. Beyond you two being the parents of the first vidyadhara to be born, you two are the saviors of the galaxy. And even beyond that… you, Dan Heng, are my friend.”

For a moment, words eluded him, so Dan Heng had to settle for reaching up to rest a hand on Jing Yuan’s shoulder. “Thank you… old friend.”

#honkai star rail #honkai fanfic #danstelle #fluff #married fluff

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for starting a war?

I (232m) am one of a large number of siblings. Our Father (39000ish) did not raise any of us but me, which made everything very "fun" as we collected my other siblings. They had all had drastically different lives and, as such, all had their own things to deal with when it came to reuniting with the family. Our Father used to be pretty good about handling these struggles, but he kind of dropped the ball on that in the last century.

To list everything my Father did wrong would take ages, but just know that there is more to him than anyone has ever seen. He killed two of my siblings (To my two brothers whose names he stole from my head and whose statues he used to pave the steps to his palace, I shall never forget what little of you he left in my mind), he abandoned my brothers and I to the whims of the bureaucrats, he let his advisor telekinetically strangle me, and he ghosted me! He didn't even talk to me after I nearly died -- if I was the one son he raised, how do you think he was to my siblings?

After that near-death experience, I found myself rather enlightened and decided to hold a bit of an intervention. Yes, it's technically a war, but that's how my family is. We all have armies. They won't hear you if you don't put a little force behind your words. Of my siblings who were still living at the time, eight decided to join me and nine stuck by our Father, so I don't believe I was entirely unjustified. It barely took any convincing at all for most of them.

I will admit I've had to make some tough choices of my own in the war -- three more of my siblings are dead than were in the beginning, and I had to inspire a little fratricide among my own army as well. But at least I'm not erasing the dead from history! The skull of my first brother to die has a place of honour besides my favourite chair and I'll be finding a way to honour the most recent one as well. (The middle one's army claimed his body already, so.... little I can do there.)

Besides, a lot of the choices I've made were things I was already doing while working with my Father.

I've no doubt my Father is the asshole in general but I just had to kill my 27937th favourite son and my first favourite brother to get to him and now I'm wondering if AITA for the war specifically?

EDIT: I thought this place was supposed to judge purely based off of the facts of the situation, not your own opinions on me as a person. I don't see you doing this to anyone else on here. Just because you believe me to be one of the most prominent figures in the galaxy doesn't mean I'm him and also doesn't mean that I deserve this treatment.

EDIT: Gods, stop talking about how I "blew up your planet" or "killed your uncle" or "fucked your wife" or whatever. Most of those incidents are more than a year old, get over it.

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[mamuzzy]

*slams hands on desk* Mamuzzy, my dearest mutual. I wish to make a request! When you are well and rested, I wish to see Lily. Lily doing Lily things.

@riinoaheartilly YOU MADE ME THE MOST HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE GALAXY BY ASKING ABOUT MY OC OMGOMGOMGOMGŐPADSFJPSDJGPISDGISPHGDIS!!!!!! *brain goes empty* *Dead. No thoughts.* *reboot*

So here is Lily, CT-7179, member of the Coruscant Guard, Planetary Defence branch under Commander Fox. He is a lovebug. A cuddlepup. A literal sunshine. MUST PROTECT HIS SMILE AT ALL COST!!! Taking pictures reminds him that despite the horrible working conditions, appreciation of simplest things can bring joy and that beauty can be found even on the most desolated and dead planets like Coruscant. One of the beauty is him, of course. Lily likes to be pretty and immortalize his pretty face for the denizens of the CorrieNet*. *CorrieNet is a social media platform exclusive to the Coruscant Guard that we use in our brainstormings and stories with @ithillia. It was created to lift up the moral of the troopers.

If there is anything Lily loves more than photography, are his friends, Vorn and Blaze, and of course, the CorrieNet. And oh boy, Lily always knows the most relevant and spicy rumors of his brothers. He just wants to know.

Unlike Vorn, Lily didn't participate in the battle of Geonosis but arrived with the first battalion deployed to Coruscant, and they are roommates and best friends ever since. Later he befriended Blaze too through Vorn. They are chaotic besties <3

Yeah, because we are a talking about my OCs, angst is inevitable. Under the cheerful appearance, Lily is quite self-conscious and shy.

The Evidence Room is actually a small storage for various loots the corries willing to share among his brothers like civilian clothes, cosmetics, games, contrabrands, and most corries use it as a gardrobe to dress out for day offs, going to parties, dates, and Lily likes to spend time here to try on outfits. He likes to experiment with everything, adores beatiful dresses, nice shoes, soft textures. Having access to the fashion district of Coruscant can fill his memory storage of the PocketCam he always carries with himself, but also reminds him that he will never be able to fit in those delicate clothes and no one will find him pretty as much as he imagines himself in them. Sometimes he dresses up, looks into the mirror, has a breakdown and stays home because he can't live with himself and his own expectations of "beauty".

Also he has a lily flower tattoo on his chest.

----------------------------------

I actually have more ideas for Lily to get on paper, but this is all I could manage before the end of the year. :)))) Thank you again for this ask, it was a really good opportunity for me as well to get to know this little guy better.

#original clone character: lily #original clone character: vorn #original clone character: blaze #coruscant guard #my ocs #the clone wars #star wars #mamuzzy draws stuff #mamuzzy answers

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Rose Quartz Propaganda

"We saw her character arc in reverse!! We first saw all the good she did and then learned of her terrible actions in the past. If her story was told the other way around, it would have been a great redemption arc. Yes, she did some terrible things, but she had no choice. She did everything she could to stop the colonization of earth peacefully buy nothing worked. Blue and yellow diamond just didn't listen to her and when they did, THEY were the ones who made the zoo and shit. Rose wanted to free them but couldn't get to them after the war! And with the corruption, there's no way she could have known that'd happen. There's so many things she wanted to do but just couldn't. And with spinel, yes it was shitty to leave her alone for so long, but again, between running her court, running the rebellion, dealing with earth, she likely wasn't a very high priority and like with the zoo, there was no way to get to her after the war since the galaxy warp was destroyed. And don't forget, she was practically a child around this time. You're saying you didn't do any stupid, selfish, or harmful things as a kid? She learned from her experiences and grew, we just saw that growth in reverse, leaving us as viewers with a poor perception of her."

"Rose Quartz is Steven Universe’s dead mom. Initially, she’s set up as sort of an ethereal perfect figure who everyone misses and compares him to. Later we get to see more of her backstory and discover that she’s actually like, a person, with flaws, who has done some bad things, but she did those bad things largely in the course of trying to escape an abusive home life and save the people and planet that she fell in love with. It’s very clear that despite her flaws she was trying to do the right thing and that she deeply cared about others. Unfortunately, a woman who was not a Perfect Martyr was way too much for the Steven Universe fandom to handle. She pretty much set off the wave of SU crit blogs because these people were furious either that she had taken violent measures to solve her problems, that she hadn’t taken violent enough measures to solve her problems, or both somehow. Lots of “Why didn’t she just murder her abusive parental figures?” Lots of “She was evil for having a baby even though she knew she’d die in childbirth!” Lots of “She should’ve been able to protect everyone from a magic nuclear weapon with the power of love somehow.” Lots of “She shouldn’t have rebelled (even though not rebelling would’ve meant the destruction of Earth) because her abusers retaliated and that’s her fault.” LOTS of people drawing her as stick thin even though she was fat in the show. People treated her like she was on the same level or even worse than her abusive parental figures who were also the main villains of the show. It was unbearable to witness."

Katara Propaganda

"She's smart. She's powerful. She an eco-terrorist. She's got the ability to grow as a person. She's a victim of misogynistic fans who codify her as an annoying bitch (sadly not affectionate) cause she's the "mom character." And that's all she will ever be is "The mom character." She bested Azula and could blood bend your ass but won't cause she's chosen not to be a monster! But she's the annoying mom instead."

"if i have to hear ONE MORE *touches necklace* joke i’m gonna mcfreaking lose it"

"despite being one of the most well-written feminist characters of children’s TV, the fandom decides to define her based on her very realistic 14-year-old girl flaws. Ignoring her complex independent arcs and motivations, people love justifying their hatred towards her based on her one line directed at Sokka that he didn’t love his mother as much as she did. Which, if we’re being nitpicky, isn’t so harsh given that it was Katara who shouldered most of the burden of her death, as well as Sokka’s admittance that he doesn’t even remember his mother. Not to mention that ALL the characters make selfish mistakes given the fact that they’re all aged 12-15??? (Aang hiding Katara and Sokka’s father’s letter, anyone???) She really is an elegant breakthrough of the typical female character molds of “girl who is badass” and “girl with a crush on the mc who sits on the sidelines” and it’s so frustrating to see her get the most hate out of the Gaang"

Mabel Pines Propaganda

"[insert "i am 12 years old" comic]"

"You probably already know about this but back when the series was airing people were really pissed at Mabel because she was supposedly selfish. Yeah ok guys asking for a fucking megaphone to help a merman find his family was TOTALLY unreasonable. Dipper giving up one (1) "date" with a girl way older than him to save Mabel's pet was SO not worth it. (This is sarcasm btw. Side note a lot of these have to do with Dipper's crush on Wendy which is a whole other discussion.) And then there's the big one. Mabel causing Weirdmageddon. What people fail to realize with this is that 1) she was extremely stressed when she handed Bill the rift 2) she was tricked by Bill, a being that is A MASTER AT TRICKING PEOPLE, into thinking that she was being handed a magic solution to what felt like the end of the world to her, and 3) she was TWELVE. Not to pull out the "she is literally neurodivergent and a minor" card but do you really expect a 12 year old who's just been told that she's gonna have to face a big and difficult transition WITHOUT her brother who's been there for her all her life to make a rational decision? Y'all seriously fell for Bill's empty words in Sock Opera. Absolute bufoons. You would not survive Weirdmageddon."

"Oh wow, a preteen girl under extreme distress acts like a preteen girl under extreme distress. Whoda thunk?"

#finals #females fucked over tournament #steven universe #avatar the last airbender #gravity falls #rose quartz #katara #mabel pines #raise of hands whos actually surprised that this is the finals