#I had to explain

[hjartasalt]

One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"

#the fries were brought back to the kitchen and he got ones that just had salt on them instead #chef asks me why #uhmm #how do I explain #well he has this tattoo

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that? #anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post

[yesokayiknow]

i hope that sometimes fifteen's psychic paper shorts out and shows what fourteen's thinking back on earth. he tries to sneak in somewhere and the guard's like this just says 'need to pick up cat food'? and fifteen's like 🥺 they got a cat

#doctor who #the doctor #fifteen #he shows up at the noble house next day with a bunch of cat toys and 14 explains that he was just picking up food for next door #and 15's like ah. well. the thing is. i thought if you only had one cat they'd be lonely so. and pulls out a kitten #rose after 15 leaves: is this an alien cat #14: 100% yeah. don't tell donna that bit

[smallphoenix13]

every single word of this feels like it was pulled out of a bingo machine

#also i hadn’t heard it had ended!!! rip you beautiful monster #if anyone’s capable of explaining this to me PLEASE do so i am fascinated #riverdale

[allo-frouto]

How about having your legs on me while I am driving?

No need to ask, this is the standard position if I am a passenger princess.

#<3 #like #I didn't know #I had to explain #the basics #oof

[sirenetica]

Thought I'd take a crack at the Life Series In Your Style board (courtesy of @/xmaruu11)

Tell me which ones your favorite :)

#grian #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #mumbo jumbo #jimmy solidarity #smallishbeans #scott smajor #impulsesv #skizzleman #tangotek #ethoslab #bdubs #zombiecleo #inthelittlewood #rendog #ldshadowlady #bigbstatz #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #life series #trafficblr #traffic smp #most of these creators i drew for the first time on this sheet #some of them ive drawn for a while #and i think you can tell #I CANT EXPLAIN MY REASONINGS FOR SOME DESIGN CHOICES IN THE TAGS ORZ #if any of these creators ever see this post i will explode thats so embarrassing of me im so sorry you had to see this (packing up my bags)

[violetwolfraven]

The funniest thing in the world to me is when people write mermaids that are bothered by humans eating fish. Like do you think fish don’t eat each other? The ocean is full of little freaks that will eat whatever or whoever the fuck will fit in their mouths. If the mermaids haven’t been eating fish this whole time what do you think they’ve been eating? If the answer is humans, that doesn’t make it any less funny. They’ll eat the species that looks like the top half of them but won’t eat a species that looks like the bottom half? Peak comedy.

#mermaids #mythical creatures #edit: #okay a lot of you have had good ideas about why mermaids possibly would be bothered by humans eating fish #so i will amend my original statement to say it’s funny and it doesn’t make any sense #unless you outright in-universe explain it #like don’t just fall back on the excuse of bUT tHeIR OUr unDERsEa BrOTherS #make it a part of their culture or physiology #if they haven’t been eating fish explain what they HAVE been eating and why #make it interesting

[isjasz]

☀️⭐🌙👁️👑

This is the way you are supposed to play this game.

#dddaily4sherin #day 172!! #grian #smajor1995 #pearlescentmoon #itlwart #goodtimeswithscar #trafficblr #traffic smp #secret life #secret life smp #secret life spoilers #life series #my art #cw blood #i had so many thoughts about this but itll be too complicated to explain it #so ill let u guys analyze it and take it how u want💥💥💥💥 #(maybe ill change my mind and ramble about it later maybeeeeee idk BHASDAHW) #explodes. cant believe we can draw scar with all the winners now it still feels like a fucking hallucination

[jae-ry]

So I am single and a writer. Guess who was looking up wedding invitation images for a visual reference today… and guess who’s brother noticed… yeah…

#creative wrting #writers #but why #why am i like this #why tho #no you guys don't understand #i had to explain #That there is no man or woman #i’m so done

[soyochii]

My beautiful princess with a disorder 😔💔

#jjk #satosugu #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #my art #I got my sister to watch the first couple of episodes #I had to explain that geto and gojo are not the main characters 😭 #I gotta draw the trio but Ive been rly trying to finish my sketch book #genuinely its mostly bad sketchs of gojo #😭✌️

[corvidcall]

"heres how mike schmidt could actually be an afton-"

"heres how mike schmidt could actually be an emily-"

#fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers #i think if it turned out that mike was actually an afton it would be kinda... #dumb? #but i think if it turned out that mikes dad had been friends and business partners with william afton i think that would still work #like. mike was a traumatized child so i wouldn't be surprised if he forgot what his dads friend looked like #or at least that he wouldnt recognize the man years later #and it would explain why afton was in Nebraska and able to snatch Garrett #even though its implied that Nebraska isnt where they live

[thevoidstaredback]

How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have

It had been a long few minutes since he'd opened the door and there were a lot of questions running through Dick's head. Most pressing of which was how this kid seems to have information he should not have.

"How did you..?" he asked, but the words wouldn't leave completely. There's so much he wants to know, so much he wants to ask.

"How do I what?" Danny tilted his head like the child he seems to be is.

"How do you know?" Dick knows he sounds weak. There's no hiding that, but there are a lot of implications in what the kid has said so far and none of it is painting a very happy picture for him.

"Oh!" Danny had the audacity to smile, "You want to know how I know you moonlight as a vigilante!" And of course he knows. Dick knows he knows, but he'd held a little bit of hope that the child Danny was mistaken. Danny's smile softened a bit as he explained, "Your hair and voice match up in both jobs almost perfectly. Not to mention your build and how you hold yourself. There's also the matter of your overall vibes, but that's not something living beings can normally pick up on." Excuse him? "Well, not living humans, at least, so no worries on that end!"

"Excuse me?" Dick was fairly sure his heart just stopped beating for a moment there.

"Anyway, I was a hero back home for a while, too. I know what it's like to have to walk the tightrope between maintaining a civilian cover and a hero persona. I know how it feels to have to keep secrets from everyone because anyone who knows will be in danger." he rambled, Though, admittedly, our circumstances are quite different. I was working as a hero all hours of the day as well as going to school. You only have to worry about properly balancing between day and night jobs. Either way, me having more to bounce between just makes me al the more qualified to help you!"

Oh. Oh he did not like that. He didn't like a single thing that just came out of the kid's mouth. Because that's what he is, a kid. "Are you...Are you alright?"

"Not in the slightest," Danny admitted with an even smaller smile. Then, it brightened, not quite to a grin, but to something similar, "But I'm here to make sure you are."

He gets points for being honest, but Dick felt his heart shatter. He knew for a fact that he'd never worked with this kid before. He also knew that the Justice League didn't know about him. If they did, he would've been picked up and dropped with either the Young Justice team or the Titans.

Dick wasn't going to ask why he became a hero because that's not his place. It's more of a 'third mission with the team' kind of questions, anyway. Most of the heroes didn't have many options when they took up the mantle. Asking what Danny can do is a more appropriate question, but he wasn't going to ask that, either.

"Now that that's out of the way," Danny turned a few pages from the table of contents to another one that was topped with 'Why Sleep Scheduling Is Important' in the blue glitter pen that Dick was starting to suspect he favored. "You're not getting enough sleep. Following you around - no one's been able to find me for a while, so don't worry about that - for the last two weeks has given me some really worrisome information on you."

Dick was worrying. He was worrying a lot and even more questions were coming to the forefront of his mind.

"Your dayjob is as an officer on the Bludhaven Police Force, or BPD for short." He was looking over the page he'd turned to very aptly and Dick realized that the kid had notes written on him. "The average hours per week for police across the country is forty hours. Gotham and Bludhaven are the exceptions. As a member of the BPD, you work a solid two days and two hours. Six nights a week, you work as Nightwing from eight in the evening to three in the morning. The last day, you take off, which is good. No deserable pattern, so good on you for that. Regardless, that's seven hour nights and ten hour days, with one day off and one day on call as an officer. Seven hours are now left in your day for personal time, eating, and sleeping. That's not a healthy way to live."

Oh, god, the kid had honest to god notes on him! What the hell!

Danny didn't even skip a beat as he pulled Dick's attention back to him and his binder. "I've drawn up a schedule for you to follow." The back of the page had a meticulously drawn schedule, complete with blocks of time to eat, sleep, work both jobs, travel, personal time, and still have a bit extra left over. It was titled 'Ideal End Result' in green marker. "Drastic changes right away will only affect you negatively, so we're starting off smaller." The next page over had another schedule titled 'Where To Begin'. "I've only pulled one hour from your Nightwing hours because I know important that time is to you and the city. I am, however, going to be having you submit an appeal to your boss to cut back your hours from fifty a week to forty a week. That way, you'll only be working eight hours a day and not ten. You'll still be on call for one day, and you'll have that last day off. Altogether, you'll be going be going from working seventeen hours a day to fourteen hours a day. Nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and eight in the evening to two in the morning. Not including breaks at work or travel time. It opens up a few more hours for you to sleep!"

"You really think the chief is going to pull back my hours?" Dick raised an eyebrow in question.

"He will if he knows what's good for him."

"You know I can arrest you for that threat, right?"

"Yeah, but you won't." And, damn it, he's right.

Although, there was now another thing he had to know. "How to you plan on enforcing this schedule of yours?"

Danny seemed to have been waiting for this. He got a gleam in his eye as he pulled a black folder from his bag, not breaking eye contact with Dick. He placed it on the table and pushed it across. "Congratulations, it's a boy."

Part 1 Part 3

#part 2 #please read part 1 #I had to redo a detail there to make something here make sense #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp dc crossover #dcxdp #danny phantom #dick grayson #dick needs a hug #dick needs sleep #danny's a hypocrite #work life balance #excelt it's being explained by a hypocrite 7 years younger than him #reverse adoption #is it really adoption if the kid shows up one day and just doesn't leave? #danny is going to make sure dick takes care if himself #good thing danny's sister and friends drilled this into his head #'this' being the importance of a proper work life balance #I maintain that Danny is a hypocrite #It's not adoption papers btw #It's a backstory

[bookwyrminspiration]

last night I had a dream that there was a tumblr update and the only thing it changed was that for two minutes straight you could sprinkle shredded cheese on other blogs and their posts, and everyone's dashboard was just pandemonium as everyone cheesed each other. two minutes of abominable amounts of shredded cheese raining from the dash. tumblr at its finest. get cheesed

#mutuals I'd cheese you <3 #shitpost #listen it's a shitpost but it was an actual dream #two minutes of cheesing was free. if you wanted to cheese someone longer you had to pay #but my god did people make the most of their two free minutes #there was shredded cheese all over the posts on my dash #it was both real and digital cheese at the same time I don't know how to explain it #it was entirely contained within the screen. but was somehow real actual shredded cheddar cheese #i don't dream often but when I do...

[critai]

4321

#kagerou project #kagepro #mary kozakura #kano shuuya #kido tsubomi #seto kousuke #my art #critai mine #WAUGHHDH !!!!!!! #happy 15th from the jst timezone #IM NOT DONE YET I SITLL HAVE 2 DRAW AYANO #bro this file crashed sm times AUGHDHH #edit: WAGH I FOUND OUT THIS WENT ON THE RADAR WTF #i remember when i first posted this i didnt have time to explain the comp process for this 1 and not that it was anything big just #felt like i had to explain kano's framing bc it does look wonky #p much that it's actually the outline of the yobanashi graffiti title in his mv :-) !!! #not sum fucked up hole lol #everything else i think it's p self explanatory www was abt to do mekakushi code for kido but i felt like shissou word highlighted her #character more so i went w that..!!! #and originally i was to draw mary as a separate piece and have the meka trio in another but i didnt have time... #which is fine bc sidu did the same thing in their art book also LMAO #mary's og concept was also the curtain idea but behind her would've ben her mom + maybe seto (imagination forest stuff) #thank u for the nice tags :"-DDD

[eatingsomegreeneggos]

My uh- My hand slipped 🌟

#fanart #my art #tadc #tadc fanart #pomni #tadc pomni #ragatha #tadc ragatha #femslash #buttonblossom #pomni x ragatha #lesbians #uhh I have nothing to explain myself with #I just had a vision based on only having seen the pilot and you what that's enough #yall know im out here shipping characters whove never seen each other and like whos stopping me #and even better every time i get a nice comment in the tags of people being excited finding fanart for their ships I grow a bit stronger #anyways theyre cute. love them #theyre so me actually #oh yeah also #the amazing digital circus

[haventacluewhatimdoing]

Okay but Donna. DONNA. She gets to live her life with both her husband AND her platonic life partner. She'd wanted to be with him forever and now she CAN. She gets both a permanent romantic and permanent platonic partner. Who like each other. Who don't resent the other's existence. Do you understand how MONUMENTAL that is???

#doctor who #dw spoilers #i can't explain it very well #but as someone who has had both romantic partners and platonic partners at the same time #this means so much to me #that it's not seen as weird or negative #and that the doctor and shaun get on #they're family too #i just #AHSSJDJSK #it means EVERYTHING #donna noble #fourteenth doctor #david tennant #shaun temple #catherine tate