#I hate rendering with a passion so I’m trying to find ways to add some life to pieces without having to go All In | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrsgiovanna · 3 years

Text

Bruno Bucciarati x Fem! Reader

A bit of a drawn out scenario with Bucciarati and the reader in an AU where everyone lives 💭❤️💙

No warnings, just fluff 😅💭

Word Count: 2117

“So Bucciarati, what do you think? I believe she’s the best person for a job like this. She has the ability to judge when to use force and her stand ability is well honed… you have reservations… what’s wrong?”

Bruno wasn’t known to wear his disdain so evidently on his face, but when it came to you, managing his emotions was slightly more difficult than usual. It also didn’t help that Giorno knew him so well. He was Giorno’s closest ally, his most trusted confidant, so he was able to be frank with him and voice concerns that would have otherwise gone unspoken.

“Well, she is strong, but I know she can be reckless when it comes to her own safety, much like someone else, might I add- but that’s a discussion for another day… perhaps, someone should accompany her just as back up in case the situation deteriorates,” suggested Bruno as he walked over to the balcony overlooking the sea. He always felt a sense of calm when looking at the ocean.

“You could always go with her…”

“Is that an order, Giorno?”

“Of course not. Look, I could send a small convoy of bodyguards with her and you’d still worry, Narancia could be tracking every living creature within meters of her and you’d still be uneasy, so rather just go yourself,” explained Giorno, watching him for even a hint of a reaction, which he did detect, but the young Don decided not to comment on that. “That’s settled then, I’ve already texted her asking for her to come over, she should be here soon,”

With Giorno’s words hanging in the air, Bruno turned his gaze back to the ocean, trying to calm the stormy feeling in his chest. Bruno always looked out for you, just as he looked out for everyone in his team. You shared a lot of history with the handsome raven-haired man, both having to join Passione as a necessity at a young age. You joined his team after working with a few other groups under Polpo’s control, finding a place that you truly felt you belonged. You both complemented each other well, compensating for what the other lacked. His maturity manifested in his quick thinking and his naturally kind nature and yours in your ability to put anyone at ease and talk to people at their own level. None of those traits could be mistaken for weakness however, as you were both capable of doing the unthinkable when your group or ideals were threatened.

You hurried along the spotless marble flooring that lead up to Giorno’s study, delicately knocking on the door before entering after hearing a soft invitation to do so.

“Buongiorno, Giogio, Bruno… ” you greet with a sunny smile. Bruno turned around to greet you with a smile while Giorno spoke.

“Buongiorno (y/n), thanks for coming over so quickly, this early in the morning, there’s just something very important that we need to discuss and we could really use your help later on,”

“Of course, sounds serious, I’ll assist in any way possible, you know that, Gio,” you reply, a hint of concern in your voice. The rest of the morning was spent discussing how to go about the mission without attracting any unnecessary attention. Once the strategy was ironed out, you and Bruno left Giorno’s villa and spent the rest of the day making sure you both had everything you would need, giving yourself a couple of hours to get ready before Bruno would come by to pick you up. You would have thought having 2 hours to get ready would be enough but you were mistaken. You just weren’t used to fancy evening gowns and stilettos, even less so to that much makeup, but you needed to channel your inner femme fatal and blend in with the rest of the guests at the flashy event.

Staring at your reflection with a critical eye, you had been tinkering with various accessories and rearranging your hair, this way and that before deciding that it was enough, the longer you took to do all of this, the more your nerves frayed. This would be the first time in years that you and Bruno would be on a mission by yourselves, and it’s definitely the first time ever that he’d be seeing you that dressed up. A wave of self consciousness washed over you, diluting the confidence that you’d been trying to build. Before you had time to further chip away at your confidence, your housekeeper came in to inform you that Bruno had arrived and was waiting for you downstairs.

On the drive over, Bruno thought about you and how much you had grown. When you had met each other, you were both just a pair of kids, who were forced to grow up too quickly. You’d taken everything in your stride though, and had seamlessly integrated into his team. Everyone loved your gentle yet protective nature. You were the one person he could be himself with, the one person who he could express his fears to, that he could fall apart on without any fear of judgment. He was the one who took care of everyone, but you were the only one he’d allow to take care of him.

He was let into your home and waited for you for a short time, barely having a chance to sit when he saw you gracefully descending the spiral staircase. You looked so beautiful, he was rendered speechless for a moment, quickly catching himself before you could notice how he was staring at you.

“(y/n)... you look beautiful, are you ready to leave?”

“Bruno, wow, you clean up well, and thank you… umm, I think I have everything I need, we can go. Thanks for coming with me, Gio told me it was your idea, I’m sure you have a million other things to do,”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he said through a strained smile, making a mental note to talk to Giorno about that. On the drive to the event, you couldn’t help but steal glances at Bruno… he looked so handsome, swopping out his white spotted suit for a black one, making the gold accents stand out even more. Everything about him was just perfect, from his perfectly cut, jet black hair, to his sparkling blue eyes and his well defined physique, it felt intimidating to have to be next to him for the night.

When you arrived at your destination, it was not difficult to zero in on your target. He was a spoiled, entitled looking brat. Both him and his father were not impressed with Giorno’s new rules for Passione, but stayed regardless, however, when his father died, his bad behavior was left unchecked. He always gave off the impression that he was waiting for an opportunity to betray Giorno. So you wanted to see what he would do when presented with an opportunity to do so.

Everything was going well, you and Bruno were satisfied that he wouldn’t betray the organization after he had passed every test you had set for him. Feeling relieved, Bruno excused himself for a moment to get you both a drink. Unfortunately for you though, you had caught the attention of the very man you were investigating. As he slowly walked toward you with a weird glint in his eyes, you became very aware of how much you needed Bruno there.

“You know, I’ve been waiting all night for that boyfriend of yours to leave so I could talk to you… the name's Elio… ” he says, twirling a lock of your hair in his fingers.

“Approaching a woman you believe is involved? And you should know who Bucciarati is… should you really be referring to him so casually? You’re not making a good case for yourself here, Elio. Now if you’d excuse me,” you made a move to put some distance between yourself and Elio, but in his persistence, he softly grasps your forearm and steps in front of you preventing you from going.

“Awww, don’t be in such a rush to leave signorina, we’re just talking… I was hoping to get to know you a little better, we run in the same circles but haven’t been formally introduced, it’s a crime, really”

You were getting annoyed, both with his persistence and the fact that Bruno was taking forever to come back. You decided to ignore him in the hopes that he’d go away without you having to use your stand or cause a scene.

“Is there a problem here? I’m sorry for taking this long tesoro, I was held up by an associate… in any case, come on, bella, we have to get going now,” You were thankful for Bruno’s intervention, but you were unnerved by how angry his eyes looked and the strong grip he held your hand with. You were confused. Was he angry at you? If not you, then who or what put him in this mood? Those questions swirled around in your mind as Bruno drove you home.

As much as your mind was clouded with unanswered questions, so was Bruno’s mind overtaken by anger. He hated the fact that some creep touched you, and he was even more upset that he couldn’t say or do anything about it… yet. He looked over at you, but your head was turned towards the window so he couldn’t see your face. Were you upset by how he dragged you off? You looked uncomfortable though, what if he read the situation incorrectly…

“Bruno, are you angry at me?”

“What? Of course not,”

“Really? You should let your face know,”

“Well, I guess this is just my face,” explained Bruno. You just nodded in acknowledgment, not really believing it, you knew his resting face well enough, and it wasn’t this. Feeling defeated, you continued to look out of the window until he drove up to your door. You remained quiet, rather choosing to look at your hands to avoid that sharp gaze. A few painfully awkward moments passed like that, before you summoned up your courage to speak. Evidently, Bruno had the same idea as you both turned towards each other and spoke at the same time.

“It’s clear that we both have things we want to say, so let’s talk inside rather?” you suggest, to which Bruno agrees with a small nod.

“I’m the one who interrupted you, so please, go first Bruno,” you say in an encouraging tone, while you both sat down, facing each other.

“Alright, thank you… here goes… I’m not angry at you, not even a little bit… I just lost it when I saw that cretin touching you so casually. You’re the most precious person in the world to me…I… ”

You stayed silent, encouraging Bruno to continue, trying to fight off the fluttery feelings coursing through you from what he just said.

“(y/n)… I love you, I’ve loved you for years now. I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you… I guess that’s now… look, you don’t have to say anything, I’m sure it’s a lot for you to take in, and all I really want is for you to be happy,” the tenderness in his eyes and voice as he spoke was almost too much to bear, as you gently took his hands in yours.

“I… I love you too… for the longest time. I’ve only ever wanted the best for you, to help you realize your dreams in whatever small way I can. So you must know how happy I am to hear you say those words,”

Being deeply moved, Bruno leaned forward and hooked his finger under your chin to bring your gaze up to meet his own and captured your lips in a sweet but passionate kiss. You smiled into the kiss, tangling your fingers into the blunt ends of his hair, resting your forehead against his when you both had broken away from the kiss.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this for,” he says in between a barrage of smaller kisses, suddenly breaking away to look at you.

“Tesoro, are you sure about this? You know first hand how this life can get, there’s always dangers to avoid, storms to weather…”

“Bruno, I don’t think anyone has endured more than us, and I’m certain that whatever else life throws at us, we can tackle together. I would choose to weather your storms with you, than bask in someone else’s sunshine any day.”

That was all the invitation Bruno needed to pull you into another passionate kiss, giving himself permission to indulge his own desires for once.

#bruno bucciarati x reader #bruno x reader #bruno bucciarati #bucciarati x reader #jjba fanfic #my writing

131 notes · View notes

spicysoftsweet · 4 years

Text

Kinktober: Week 2

Illumi x Fem!Reader - Earned It (NSFW)

A/N: trigger warning, your boy is on some dom shit and this toes the line into dubcon. Anyway Illumi loves his wife (you).

Song: Earned It by the Weeknd

Make sure to check out my lovely mutuals (@trash-writings, @hisokapegger @mynameseri for the rest of today’s Kinktober posts!)

---

I'ma care for you

I'ma care for you, you, you, you

---

You were suspended in the air, bound and blindfolded, with nothing to ground you to the very earth except the sound of your husband pronouncing your name.

The single utterance seemed to bounce around the room unstably, or maybe you were just disoriented by the very slight spin you were taking. Your heart stopped, then restarted almost as quickly with your moment of realization - you were floating, rotating slowly and somehow purposely around a point.

One fact was obvious. That point, that focus was Illumi. Illumi was - had always been - your center.

That you would have to depend on himself for your sense of the world at this very instant was only right. Good, even. Illumi’s calm, neutral voice was the gravitational force that kept you tied to the very earth, after all. He was the reason why you existed the way you did, living in luxury, showered with the finest of clothing, provided with the most exquisite of meals, plush surroundings, constant security, devoted servants…

You were but a vase of fine flowers after all; he watered you often and intentionally so that you could continue to display beauty and bear fruit. All you had to do was to smile and nod (when appropriate and prompted to, of course), letting your natural grace shine through on the few occasions you left the manor to accompany him on business. It was a simple task and you played the role perfectly, and Illumi normally rewarded you heavily afterwards for being his good little wife.

But were you still his good little wife tonight? The infinitesimally small edge to his voice, something you had trained yourself to detect over the years could suggest otherwise.

For now, you could only wonder what you had so royally fucked up this time to find yourself horizontal against gravity, ropes intricately but more importantly, securely, looped over every joint and curve.

“Illumi... are you there?” You called back to him tentatively, the mixture of fear and nervous anticipation mounting inside you evident in the very timbre of your reply.

Illumi’s voice, lowered three octaves, called out your name from a point you could not identify. You shivered, and only then could you deduce you were as bare as the day you were born.

“Are you ready to accept your punishment?”

---

You make it look like it's magic (Oh yeah)

'Cause I see nobody, nobody but you, you, you

I'm never confused

Hey, hey

I'm so used to bein' used

---

Cold fingers lightly drum the skin of your inner thigh; you let out a single shallow gasp, acutely aware of how your legs were parted just so, knees bent such that your ankles were in some way you couldn’t identify bound to your wrists.

Exposed.

Your arms immobilized behind you, you could do nothing, not even squirm as Illumi’s frigid fingers continued to thread closer and closer to that waiting, wanting spot in the center, your center, trailing up your left thigh. But instead of leaving ice in their wake, you felt your skin start to burn passionately at his touch.

Then without warning, his other hand came down firmly on your right inner thigh and a flash of white replaced the dark before your tearing eyes as the impact of his palm hitting your skin reverberated in the room with a loud slap.

You cried out, and you could almost feel him revel in your anguish, as he gently rubbed the pain out of the still searing skin.

“You always seem to be misbehaving, my love.” The term of endearment came out drawn out and harsh, but not as harsh as the rough stroke of his tongue attacking the space between your legs. You writhed in something like pleasure, letting out another sharp gasp as he drew his tongue across once more, applying firm pressure on your thighs the entire time.

You began to whimper as you felt the sting of his nails digging into your soft flesh, but he began his onslaught on your clit, your lower vulva and everything in between peppering it with kisses and penetrating you with his soft, pink tongue rendering you into a whining, convulsing mess.

Your head spun as he ravished you, and with nothing to hold, to squeeze, to center you, you found yourself screaming. “I-Illu! Illumi, p-please… stop, it’s too much!”

Too much of what? Something… Everything...

Illumi had long since grown unaffected by any pleas for amnesty, but for you, his good little wife, he paused just briefly enough to give you a short reprieve, where you had a moment to catch your breath but his touch remained constant. You could tell he had not moved from his spot when he spoke as his breath settled on your wet lips and sent a sensation like ice throughout your lower half.

He was just getting started, you could feel his hunger in the air, and he rocked you slowly, just a couple centimeters to and fro from your harness, safe and secure (and really not safe at all) before stopping your movement abruptly, and pressing his lips against your lower lips, forcing another shiver down your spine.

“Do I need to tape your mouth shut too, my love? You’re interrupting an exquisite meal.”

---

So I love when you call unexpected

'Cause I hate when the moment's expected

So I'ma care for you, you, you

I'ma care for you, you, you, you, yeah

---

His fingers were just as unforgiving as his mouth. A single finger teased your slick entrance while he grabbed a handful of one asscheek, and pierced into you keeping time with soft but hungry kisses on your lower back. As your walls started to clench around the single, slender finger boring into your vault, his hands began to rub circles around your bottom, and he began to suck and nip harder at that curve of your spine. Your breathing grew heavy and moans began to slip out of your throat, the quickening pump of his single digit intensified by your lack of input from your other senses.

A second finger slipped in and curled, tapping just at the little bit of flesh that shot pleasure through you and you cried once more, unable to stay silent for him.

“I~Illumi!”

“Keep quiet.” He admonished harshly, without hesitating to add a third finger to stretch out your already dripping cunt. His fingers were moving too quickly now, and with every slide in and out, tears formed and flowed, your eyes trying to resolve the overstimulation he was giving you. Nipples hardening, heart pounding, you could even feel your lips getting fuller, you were so painfully aroused, or maybe you were just biting your lip too hard in order to stay quiet… You weren’t quite sure of anything really, a fog seemed to descend even more, dulling your already deprived senses and all you could feel were Illumi, his fingers, his kisses, his other hand now squeezing and then slapping your ass hard enough that you swung forward, his lips nipping and sucking at your clit expertly, sending waves of pleasure through your entire body from your toes to the tips of your nose.

“I-Illu…”

“Shhh, let me take care of you, like this.”

---

'Cause girl, you're perfect

You're always worth it

And you deserve it

The way you work it

'Cause girl, you earned it, yeah

Girl, you earned it, yeah

---

“Illu~ ah!” Your words were cut off by the abrupt intrusion of something, much, much larger than a set of fingers and his ever so slight groan filled the air as he made his way inside, filling you so deeply you were certain you could feel him in your stomach. Despite the confident way in which his cockhead slipped so effortlessly past your walls and found a home deep within your guts, nice and snug between blankets of clenching, crying flesh, you felt a jolt of discomfort, and he paused mercifully for a moment to let you adjust to the deep yet pleasurable stretch.

A low, almost primal, moan escaped your throat and his hand reached for your scalp, letting his soiled fingers dance through your hair. Another hand looped around your waist to tease and play with your taut nipples. The moment of rest to adjust to him inside you was meant to be reassuring, to give you time before he really started to wreck you, but your body ached for him to move, your core pulsing and crying out for him.

“I-Illu, please,” you whimpered, your voice coming out as a shaky, high whine as his body stayed pressed to yours. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, settled with a rhythmic throb, and the most terrifying thought to you at this time was that he wouldn’t move, he wouldn’t ram you to death, and you would stay like this, aching to feel pleasure, to feel him.

“Do you want me to move? Do you crave me, my little sexy wife?”

“Y-yes, Illumi...”

“Say it.” His arms wrapped around your back, groping both breasts, teasing both nipples between his second and third fingers as he brought you securely against his chest.

“Illumi, I want you.”

---

You know our love would be tragic (Oh yeah)

So you don't pay it, don't pay it no mind, mind, mind

We live with no lies

Hey, hey

You're my favorite kind of night

---

“Oh, just want?” A single twitch of his cock inside you sent another wave of pleasure through your core and hunger, desire, lust continued to burn inside you.

“Illu, I need you…,” you croaked out. His lips brushed over your neck slightly.

“Just need?” He said, his tone amused. You knew he could do this all night, he was much stronger than you were, in all respects, even this. Frustration started to build.

“Illu, please...” Your panting grew heavier, it was getting hard to breathe with this fog inside you deepening even further. His hands were traveling up your chest to your throat, and now he was moving you, angling you upwards something like 45 degrees, or more, you weren’t sure. His hands still securely but gently around your throat, he now bit at your earlobe.

“Please what?” He whispered between bites, traveling down your neck.

“P-please fuck me!” You couldn’t take this much longer. You didn’t know why he was doing this to you, everything had been good, you had played your role so perfectly, why was he edging you so harshly?

He pulled back inside you just a single inch only to slam into you hard once, so hard you saw stars, but inside you craved more.

“Are you turned on?” He was still again, and your body yearned for him.

You let out another moan.

“Please… more… again…”

“I need you to know how hard it is for me to wait,” he hissed, still kissing, still nipping, still edging you. His shaft, still impressively hard, maybe even harder the longer he tortured you, continued to nestle inside you, pulsing, twitching every so often as though to remind you of the power it held to ruin you, if only it decided to.

You were now whining incomprehensibly and he began to slowly rock you back and forth on the suspension, cruelly making sure not to unsheath himself a single inch to deny you pleasure.

“You know, you made me hard in public,” he said. “In fact, it’s so hard to concentrate any time I see you. There’s just something you do-” - he rammed into you once again to accentuate the word, “- to me, and it’s just so…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead angling you downwards back into the horizontal position, shifting his hands from your neck to grip your waist instead in seconds, and it was almost as if he himself no longer could resist.

“Ridiculously lewd.”

It was like a dam had broken inside him, and now he was pounding into you mercilessly, a low growl escaping his lips as he sheathed and unsheathed himself into your tight pussy, the force of your body slamming into his hips accentuated by the momentum of the ropes from which you dangled.

“You’re so fucking tight for me, as usual,” he hissed, clutching at you once to stop your swings, forcing himself so far forward inside you that once again, you saw the entire galaxy. In two quick movements, your bindings at your wrists and ankles were freed, and he stood you upright so that he could press you tightly against him.

“I want to do so many naughty things to you, you despicable woman,” he whispered into your ears. Through your drunken haze, you found the strength to respond.

“Do anything you want to me, Master Illumi.”

---

On that lonely night (Lonely night)

We said it wouldn't be love

But we felt the rush (Fell in love)

It made us believe it was only us (Only us)

Convinced we were broken inside, yeah, inside, yeah

---

He ripped off your blindfold and spun you around to face him. Your wrists may not have been bound to your ankles any longer, but he quickly raised your arms to the ceiling and bound them together, then proceeded to pull the rope down so that you were suspended just the right height, his eyes on you lustfully the entire time.

Your husband’s beautiful features, usually neutral, were now twisted into lust, hunger, anger, fascination, all because of you… the sight made you burn up with a licentious heat. This time, without him having to prompt you, you swung forward to wrap your legs around his waist, and standing now, he bounced you up and down his cock, maintaining eye contact and pausing intermittently to envelop your lips in a hungry, all-consuming kiss.

“You bewitched me,” he whispered between kisses. “You should be punished.”

You had done no such thing. In fact, you’d fallen first. You had always loved him first. Illumi was the only thing that you needed, that you would ever need.

“I-if this is the - ah - punishment for taking - ah - your heart, I’ll a-accept it many... many times over,” you choked out, your arms aching to wrap around his neck.

Illumi rarely smiled, but this time, his lips curled into a devilish, excited grin as he sped up.

---

‘Cause girl, you're perfect (Girl, you're perfect)

You're always worth it (You're always worth it)

And you deserve it (And you deserve it)

The way you work it (The way you work it)

'Cause girl, you earned it, yeah (You earned it)

Girl, you earned it, yeah (You earned it)

#kinktober #hxh #illumi x reader #illumi #illumi zoldyck x reader #illumi zoldyck #dom!illumi #aggressive illumi

308 notes · View notes

bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

Note

heyyy it's the og asd sokeefitz kid anon and i absolute LOVE the ideas you've come up with, can you just like... spill everything you've come up with that you haven't said so far? please? if you don't mind-

nonsie you are absolutely incredible and I just want to thank you for what you’ve started. I’m glad to see so many people seem to like the idea at least <3

and also okay okay okay. I have so many thoughts hold on lemme just—

(For anyone confused, here’s part 1, and part 2)

this kid’s main bfrb (body focused repetitive behavior) is to pick at their skin. It not even a stim at this point they just destroy their skin for some reason

It was kinda mild at first but then one day when Keefe was putting them to bed he noticed a bunch of scabs on their arm and he was Concerned

So now when ever they have a bad picking day, they have an assortment of like...gloves but for their arms that Fitz bought them to cover their skin so they can’t see it and therefore can’t pick (I don’t know how to explain it but think like that black fabric think Midoriya uses to cover the scar on his arm in season 3-4 ish)

Going back to the whole really liking silence thing and hating breaking it, the kid also struggles to control their volume and they accidentally whisper like 50% of the time

Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz try their best but sometimes the kid is so quiet they can’t discern a single thing they said

Sophie thought “hey! Maybe sign language could help” because there’s no volume needed and also then they wouldn’t need to break the silence

The kid seemed open to the idea (but also they don’t make accurate—or any—facial expressions ever so it was hard to tell)

But then they realized that a lot of the specifics and grammar of sign language comes from facial expressions (like how the orientation of your eyebrows affects the kind of questions you’re asking, and the mouth shape you make affects the size of an object you’re signing about)

They were less enthusiastic after that because making facial expressions is not fun :/

But they were persistent and are still trying to learn in a way that will help them (what no I’m not projecting /s)

Through observation the kid is kinda able to tell when they’re saying something in what others think is a rude tone so they’ll get anxious their parents will get mad at them

Like “wait. Did that sound mean? I didn’t mean to sound mean. I was actually just asking.”

Keefe always feels so guilty about that because he can feel how genuinely stressed they are that they sounded mean. So he always reassures them that it’s okay and he knows what they meant.

Fitz is a really great conversationalist and always makes the time to listen to any infodump of information their kid wants to share

The others also just love to sit and listen to them talk about what they’re passionate about

One time they talked for two hours straight about the linguistic differences between the enlightened language and English (because you know Sophie is teaching that child English) and how the structure of the sentences affect how well they translate into each other without the benefit of a polyglot ability

Oh another thing I just remembered

The kid finds Silveny a bit annoying because she has very little sense of personal space and she’s also very l o u d, so they have more of a “I appreciate you from a distance” kind of relationship

But when Silveny is more calm and the kid is comfortable approaching her, they really like how cold her mane is. It’s freezing, which is grounding and comforting

Elwin gave the kid an alicorn stuffie when they were little and they can’t sleep without it

Keefe calls it Shimmerbooty, but the kid shortened it and mostly just refers to it as Shimmer

It seems big because they’re so small, but Fitz just thinks it’s absolutely adorable and he’s rendered speechless everytime they wander out holding it because holy shit guys look at my kid—

Hnng I cannot stop think about them. Sokeefitz is already adorable and then you add a little child? Wow I’m in love

I am still thinking about this

guys oh wow

25 notes · View notes

thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

Note

Have you seen the post going around about the zoom class with one guy and his full streamer setup vs the guy whose just in the middle of the woods? I know you have a prompt list rn but I’m just saying there’s a sternclay fic in there somewhere...

It is! Here you go!

Life is better with order. Or, at the very least, with some attempt at patterns, organization, or consistency.

Which is why Stern has carefully arranged his desk, his chair, and his equipment in the background. Streaming as a hobby and a side hustle means he has some (okay, a lot) of practice making his digital self look just right. He needs to make a good impression on the first day of the semester.

Unlike some people.

“Holy shit man, are you in the woods?” Duck, the guy in a “Monongahela National Forest” shirt, grins as he asks this of another student whose screen consists of a forest clearing, a log, and the name “Barclay.”

“Yeah. Hang on, lemme finish getting the phone balanced.”

“Dude, that’s like, way better than my background” this comes from Jake, in front of a poorly rendered half-pipe.

“Can’t really take credit for it, just where I ended up.” Barclay sits down, and Stern gets his first look at a man so tall he barely fits in the frame, with a short, coppery beard and an honest-to-god man-bun.

Damn west coast schools.

“How is your battery going to last long enough for class?” Stern leans back in his chair, certain Barclay will have “battery trouble” halfway through as an excuse to cut out early.

Barclay smiles, lifting up a small green and black rectangle, “solar battery. Not everyone needs fancy gadgets for school.” He aims a pointed stare at Sterns set-up.

“It’s important to have the right equipment.”

“Whatever you say, man.” He lifts a cup of iced coffee into the frame, sipping it through a straw. It’s the picture of relaxation, as if nothing is wrong in the world. As if this is all totally normal.

Stern wants to reach through the screen and slap some sense into him. Preferably while he’s shirtless.

He chalks that thought up to not having gotten laid since last December and pulls up his note taking software as Professor Chicane enters the room.

------------------------------------

Private Chat 9/20/20

Duck (he/him): I timed it, we’re already at ten minutes of arguing.

Indrid (he/him): I know Ned enjoys their demonstrating the different modes of rhetoric, but this is a bit extreme.

Duck: To be fair, Joe does seem kinda uptight.

Indrid: Yes, but Barclay should know by now that zeroing in on him during our practice debates only results in this.

Duck: Yeah. Oh shit, are they for real wrapping up you think?

Indrid: We can only hope. Skype me tonight?

Duck: Of course, sugar.

--------------------------------------

What is Joseph’s problem? He’s got a set-up that would make a pro-vlogger jealous, what looks to be a well-lit apartment with some houseplants and the kind of coffee-cups that are weirdly lacking in personality. His clothes are immaculate, his hair slicked back as if he;s in a business meeting rather than an online class in the midst of a chaotic world. So why is he acting like everything is terrible? And why is he always arguing with Barclay, when there are plenty of other people in the class to disagree with?

“Now” Mr. Chicane’s voice booms through the tiny speaker on his phone, “if you all had a chance to read over the instructions, we will begin the first mock debate. Do we have any volunteers?”

He and Joe raise their hands at the same time. Mr. Chicane raises an eyebrow.

“While I appreciate your eagerness, gentlemen, I would like two other volunteers this time.”

That’s fine by him. It’s not like he likes listening to Joseph get all wound up and passionate, making everyone on the call sit up and take notice of him. It’s not as if he enjoys being the center of his focus.

Nope, not at all.

-----------------------------

Private chat 10/11/20

Jake (he/him): Dudes, did you see who got paired up on the final project?

Aubrey (she/her): Chicane must be getting them back for all the times they’ve hijacked discussions.

Duck (he/him): Man, for their sake I hope it works out.

Indrid (he/him): This is going to be a disaster.

--------------------------------------

“Are you out of your mind!” Stern is talking before Barclay’s video is fully on.

“Nope. And you don’t have to yell, my speaker works just fine.”

“You’re outside, for all I know there’s a ton of ambient noise.”

Barclay, phone obviously in his hand as he walks through the trees, groans.

“And don’t try to derail this; how can you possibly suggest I come out there so we can do the project in person? We’re supposed to be limiting travel and gatherings.”

“Look, Joseph, we both agree that trying to generate our own cryptid hoax is the best way to demonstrate all the techniques Ned wants us too, right?”

“Yes” he hides his answer behind the rim of his coffee mug.

“We’ll do a way better job if we work in the same space. And if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t had any human contact in three weeks; all quarantined up, unlike whatever you’ve been doing in the city.”

He sets the mug down with a thunk, “I haven’t been out in a month. And before that was only for one grocery run and a hospital visit.”

“Uhhh-”

“I cut my hand cooking. So. Yeah.”

Literal crickets chirp, courtesy of Barclay’s end of the line, as the silence stretches on.

“If it helps, it’s real easy to stay isolated here, and I’ve still got utilities and everything.”

“And you’re not subsisting only on MREs or granola or something?”

A deep chuckle, the kind that makes his skin prickle, “Nope. That much I can promise.”

Stern glances around the studio apartment, clean and empty.

“What’s your address?”

------------------------------------

Look, all Stern is going to say is that he’s seen and read plenty of stories that start with a cabin in the woods and none of them end well. Which is why he’s still sitting in his car, parked beside a beat-up Subaru, rather than knocking on the door.

Breathe in, five counts. Out for four. Repeat four times.

Waiting for him on the door is a note.

Joseph,

Key under mat, make yourself at home.

Barclay.

He brings in his bags (a matching set of three, a gift from his aunt last year), placing them in the tiny guest room. It’s not much more than a bed, a dresser, and a tiny table. But there’s a heating unit below the window looking out into the woods, which is pretty pleasant. He’ll be keeping the blinds closed at night, though; he hates the thought of something being able to look in.

Stern’s busy evaluating the laundry closet when the front door opens.

“Hey, glad you found the place okay.”

Barclay stands in the doorway, a basket full of fruit in one hand. He’s remarkably kempt for a man living in the woods and that, combined with the deep voice being even richer in person and the fact Stern has to actually look up to meet his eyes, has him stumbling for words.

“Your directions were very thorough. Thank you. Um. I put my things in there, should I, um-”

“I can give you the grand tour.” The taller man sets the basket on the dining table, notices Sterns puzzled expression “there’s a piece of property about a mile thataway that has orchards they don’t really use. They let me come and pick whenever i want, less for them to clean up.”

Barclay keeps up a steady monologue as he shows him the cabin. The lower level is the living room and dining area, a kitchen which leads onto the back deck, Sterns room, and a bathroom. As the cabin is A-frame, the upstairs is Barclay’s room, all dark wood and pine colored plaid. It’s as Barclay is telling him about the woodpecker that sometimes nests in the eaves that he realizes why he’s talking so much.

He’s nervous.

Neither of their nerves improve when he gets to his last point of order.

“Uh, so, the bathroom downstairs is only a half-bath.”

“So...if I want to shower, which I do, I have to come up here.”

“Yeah.” Barclay scratches the back of his neck, “sorry. I don’t, like, sleep naked or anything so we should be fine.”

“Disappointing.” Stern sighs, only to sail past sarcastic and land face first in sincere.

Barclay blushes, then shrugs, “Trust me, after the first night, you’ll see why.”

Stern does. He’s warm as long as he’s in bed, but the moment he ventures into the bathroom in the middle of the night he’s cocooned in cold.

The morning brings cinnamon and coffee on the draft coming under the door. He plods into the kitchen in search of caffeine, finds Barclay in an pron, the counter covered in trays of dough.

“Morning!”

“Morning. Coffee-”

“Right there, sugar and stuff’s in the cabinet above it, cream and such is in the fridge.”

Blessedly, there’s heavy cream to be found, and soon he’s sipping from an enamel mug emblazoned with a UFO made of veggies.

“Is this all for your job?” Barclay mentioned he was a cook during an icebreaker.

“Yep. Way it works is I bust my ass baking once or twice a day, and Thacker, who works with Mama at the Lodge in town, comes and takes them over there. Normally I’d just be there but, well, y’know.”

“Everything is on fire? Figuratively, I mean.”

“Sometimes literally too, but yeah.”

As he’s turning to grab his clothes and head showerward, Barclay adds, “You a scone man, coffecake man, or a cinnamon roll man?”

“Coffeecake?” It comes out hesitant.

“There’s no right answer, man.” Barclay sounds amused, “what do you want?”

“Cake, definitely.”

“Cool. I’ll save you a slice.”

Once he’s showered and on the wi-fi, his day runs like normal; one lecture, reading, a research paper, his initial half of their project, and working either his copy-editing or transcription job in between, and planning his next stream. Barclay comes and goes, stops now and then to see if he needs anything, leaves a sandwich in front of him around dinner time. Then it’s time to crawl under the covers and dream of a less-stressful world.

The next day, just before one, Barclay taps him on the shoulder.

“Ready for class?”

“Yes…” He gestures to his laptop and notebook.

“C’mon, join me out here, it’s way nicer, and we can share the phone.”

“Barclay, it’s a nonsensical way to attend class, just stay in here with me! Even this set-up has to be better than the woods.”

“This set up. You mean my house?” All the friendliness leaves hi voice.

“Yes. Look, I agreed to come out because you’re right, if we want to ace this thing that’s worth sixty percent of our grade, this is the place to do it; I don’t have to go along with the whole self-sufficient woodsman aesthetic while I’m here. “

“Yeah, I’d say you’re pretty far from self-sufficient. See you in class.”

Stern stews through the entire session, but where he’d usually find something Barclay says to latch onto, he instead gnaws on himself. Why didn’t he just go with him? Why snap at someone who’s been nothing but nice since he got here?

Whatever the answer, how can he fix it?

---------------------------------------

Barclay tromps back through the twilight, done with his second class of the day. If Joseph is in the main house, he plans to ignore him until tomorrow morning. That all goes out the window with the clank of dishes from the kitchen.

Peering in reveals the other man bent over, pulling a casserole from the oven. He waits to announce his presence until Joseph is out of the danger zone, enjoying the view as he does.

“Smells good.”

Blue eyes flick over to him as Joseph opens drawers, “it’s mostly cheese and chips, so I’m not surprised.”

“Servers are in that one.”

“Thank you. Nacho pie?” He scoops some into a bowl, holding it out.

“Sure. Uh, look, Joseph I-”

Joseph holds up the server, “Wait. Before you apologize I, um, I wanted to say I’m sorry for my comments. And for being so...me-ish.” He sighs, staring at the utensil in his grip, “I’ve always been a little bit tense, tried to be polite and effective and friendly in spite of it. The last six months made that harder to do. I don’t love it when I can’t be organized, when normal systems go out of place. But that’s no excuse for being rude to you, even before you invited me here. You’re just so...you’re always so calm and relaxed, like nothing was wrong and I just honed in on that way more than made sense. I’m sorry.”

“If it makes you feel better, I kinda did the same thing. You’re always so put together, it looked like you had this organized life in the midst of this whole shitstorm. I feel lik everything is slipping away, like my world is just this cabin. I mean, I assumed you were seeing friends in the city, while I haven’t seen Mama in person since April. So” he sets the bowl down, rests his hand on Joseph’s shoulder, “I’m sorry too.”

Joseph laughs, softly, “turns out we both had failures of imagination, huh?”

“Yeah” he runs a hand over Joseph's back, “now come on, this dinner’s not gonna eat itself.”

-----------------------------------

“You sure you don’t wanna wear the bigfoot costume?”

“Positive. Besides, it suits you.” Joseph finishes styling the fur on the head of the costume to look more realistic, “I just hope we get this done before that storm comes in; as mush as the rain would add to the mood of the scene, that’ll be hell to dry and you’ll be miserable. So, go lurk over there while I finish up getting the camera settings where they need to be.”

“Yes sir” Barclay pops the head on, leaves crunching as moves to his appointed tree. He smiles as he watches Joseph fiddle with the camera; things have been so much better between them these last two weeks. They trade off cooking dinner, study side by side, and watch movies or play games in the warmth of the heater. They have a similar sense of humor and taste in books, and are tidy to boot. Joseph’s even come with him to listen to lectures in the woods, the pair sharing a thermos of coffee under the astonished gaze of their classmates. There’s just one problem.

Barclay’s buried crush is now blooming in every direction. Animated, argumentative Joseph was attractive. Joseph, in all his moods and mannerisms, is devastatingly enchanting. He’s come close to telling him this, but the other man is his guest and also only here for another two and a half weeks, so a confession is setting himself up for heartbreak at worst and awkwardness at best.

He almost blew it last night when they were washing dishes (Joseph scrubs, Barclay dries and puts away).

“Last one.”

“Thanks, blue eyes.”

“What was that?”

“Uh, blue eyes? Like a, uh, a nickname?”

Joseph laughs, “Sounds like something from a Raymond Chandler book. I like it.”

On the plus side, if Joseph thinks it’s just a nickname and not a pet name, maybe Barclay can keep using it.

“Are you ready?’

He sticks up a hairy thumb and calls, “you know it, blue eyes.”

That same laugh as Joseph takes up his position. Maybe it’s the weird film over the costume’s eyes, but Barclay swears he sees a blush.

-------------------------

Stern trawls through the search results. Their video is getting some traction, with two cryptid hunter sites claiming it’s credible footage. He’s making note of how the information spread, which threads lead to belief and which to doubt, when Barclay calls from upstairs.

“Joseph? Little help?”

The other man is in the bathroom, and when Stern knocks he says, “Think the pilot light on the water heater went out again, all I’m getting is cold water. Can you go relight it?”

“Sure.” He gets to the stairs then, stops, “where’s the key to that closet?”

“Huh? Oh, shit, right, hang on” Barclay says at the same time as Stern’s “don’t worry, I can find it.”

Which is why the instant he turns back into the bedroom is the same instant Barclay steps out of the bathroom, blue towel around his waist.

Any blood that doesn’t head south goes instantly to Stern’s cheeks.

“You okay there, blue-eyes?”

“It’s completely unfair how good you look without a shirt.”

He clamps a hand over his mouth.

“Idn’t ean to ay at out oud” The mumbled explanation makes Barclay smirk.

“You like this, should see what’s under the towel.”

The unusually bold statement from Barclay kindles his own confidence.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, big guy.”

“Who says I won’t.” Barclay sits down on the edge of the bed, nonchalant and leaning back on his hands, “got plenty of time to make good on them.”

“We literally don’t. I go back in a week and two days.”

Barclay toys with the lint on the towel, “you could stay. Through break, through next semester, for however long you wanted.”

“Do you mean that?”

A shy nod, “I like having you around, Joseph. Even beyond the huge fucking crush I have on you I...everything is a little better when you’re around.”

“I, um, I guess it could work. We know next semester is online too, and so is work, so…” there must be variables missing, something he’s not seeing, some reason this is too good to be true.

“You want some space away from shirtless me to think about it?”

“That’d be great.”

Barclay stands, hesitates, then plants a quick kiss on his forehead, “take all the time you need, blue eyes.”

------------------------------

Private Chat log 1/11/2021

Barclay (he/him): Did you see the look on Duck’s face when we turned up in frame together.

Joseph (he/him): Yes. Pretty sure Aubrey yelled something about him needing to pay up. I wonder what the bet was.

Barclay (he/him): Whatever it was, pretty sure I came out the biggest winner.

Stern snorts, trying not to blush on camera, and leans over to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek.

#agent stern/barclay #sternclay #taz amnesty #college AU

63 notes · View notes

mewtonian-physics · 3 years

Text

An Honest Review of Nancy Drew: The Final Scene

Spoilers under the cut!

Hi! Penny (not that one) here with the next installment of my Nancy Drew game reviews!

In case you haven’t seen the previous reviews, a quick overview of how I’ll be doing this:

I’m going to include several different factors in my review of each game. First, the plot; obvious enough. The plot is, after all, the driving force behind the game. I’ll also be talking about what I think of the characters, as well as how fun it is to play/replay, and the general atmosphere/setting of the game too. And, of course, I’ll talk about my opinions of the music. I’m not going to be doing any ratings or anything like that, no numbers will be coming into these reviews; I’m just going to say my honest thoughts. (Even when they are not nice thoughts.)

Please remember that these reviews will be my entirely subjective opinions! If you disagree with me on any points, that’s absolutely your prerogative, and in fact, I’d love to discuss it with you and hear some perspectives aside from my own. These reviews are not meant to hurt or invalidate anyone’s feelings, but only to put forth my own.

So without further ado, my review of The Final Scene!

Plot

I really like the plot of this game. This is one of those games where it kind of has two plots going on, but it ties them together so seamlessly that most of the time you can barely even tell. See, Nancy is tagging along with her friend Maya Nguyen, who is going to interview a famous TV 'hunk'--and no, this does not mark the reappearance of Rick Arlen, thank god--but when she goes in to interview him, Maya disappears! Nancy is told that her friend is hidden somewhere in the Royal Palladium theater, but here's the problem--the theater is going to be demolished in just three days, which doesn't leave her much time to find Maya and get out of there. With the police being incredibly unhelpful and the clock ticking down, Nancy has to either find Maya or stop the demolition before the theater is destroyed with her friend inside it! Her search for Maya is interspersed with the discovery of the history behind the old theater, weaving the kidnapping plot together with the hunt for the theater's true owner in such a way that they fit perfectly. After all, the owner might be able to stop the demolition in time to save Maya--but only if Nancy can figure out who it is before time runs out! It's a really stellar and well-crafted plot, and it deserves all the praise I'm giving it.

I also really enjoy the backstory they give this game. I am a fan of Harry Houdini (look up his relationship with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle some time, it's hilarious) and stage magicians in general, so it's really fun for me.

Characters

This is another game with a quite colorful cast of characters. We have Brady Armstrong, a popular actor; Simone Mueller, his agent; Nicholas Falcone, an activist; and Joseph Hughes, the theater's caretaker.

I would be remiss to not mention just how fantastic Nancy's interactions with the characters are in this game. She's so sassy and sharp with everyone, her impatience and fear for Maya coming out in fire. Thank you, Nancy.

As for the characters themselves... they are a bit of a mixed bag in terms of quality, as far as I'm concerned. I really couldn't care less about Brady. I find him annoying and whiny (I'm so sorry your life is so hard, Mr. Famous Actor) and he seems to share all of Rick Arlen's worst personality traits, so really, it's just a hard thumbs-down on this one.

Simone, though. Wow! Pardon the language, but she is such a bitch, and I love it. The absolute nerve she has! Using Maya's disappearance as nothing more than a publicity stunt is a truly coldhearted move, and it really just establishes her as exactly who she is: a ruthless, ambitious, calculating woman who is willing to do anything to get what she wants.

Nicholas is popular for obvious reasons. He's passionate about his work, is fun to talk to, and has a long history with the theater that further drives his resolve. Also, I love the way he is just so unimpressed with Brady. Me too, Nick. Me too.

Joseph, on the other hand, is just a sweet, harmless old man who doesn't want to lose the theater he loves so much... except it turns out that he's not so sweet and harmless after all. In fact, he's so desperate to save the theater that he is willing to go to any length to do so, including kidnapping. I remember how absolutely horrified I was when he was revealed as the culprit, but in the end, his character was so well-developed that I could almost understand how he got there. The theater was essentially the only home he had--of course he wouldn't want to lose it! Unfortunately, he went way too far trying to keep it.

Gameplay

...Yeah, I have some complaints about the gameplay here, and by 'some complaints' I mean the 3-day mechanic. While it makes sense in the context of the plot, I hate it. It'll come back in a later game, and I hate it there, too. Having to try and figure out exactly what I have to do each day to get the plot to move forward is something that really frustrates me, especially since I also have to figure out what I can't do until the next day, when hey, maybe I just want to do that thing now. Also I have a special hatred for the key machine just because of how much time it took from me. Yes, I know that's a me problem. I know. I don't replay this game often because even years after I first played it, it still frustrates me to no end. Fuck the 3-day mechanic. Let me do what I want.

Atmosphere

The setting is so lovely! I love exploring the theater, I love looking at all the posters. It's so real and beautiful-looking, but clearly has been falling into some disrepair, which also adds a bit of a spooky vibe to it. Details like the gum and the popcorn really help immerse the player--what's a theater without a little mess, after all? And I positively adore the old touches like the game in the lobby--and I hate the key machine, but it really does add a lot to the setting. But you're on thin fucking ice, key machine. Thin. Fucking. Ice.

The more hidden areas are also incredible, especially the magician's room--I wish I could go there in real life! But, um... I never want to see that card machine. Ever. God, that thing creeps me out.

Music

The music in this game is sooooooo good! In fact, I'd say it's perfect. It has this lovely old-timey sound to it that, when combined with the incredible way the theater is rendered, really makes me feel like I'm there. It also has several tracks which are downright creepy! This isn't at all a game I would consider one of the scary ones, but it has a more subtle fear to it, and some of the music really brings that out. Maya's theme is also superb. I love how dramatic and intense it sounds, and the mixed-in shouts at the beginning of it. It's perfect. I have so much love for this game's soundtrack, I think it was really well-made.

Conclusion

This is another of those games that I would definitely recommend. The characters are good, the plot is great, and the atmosphere and music are just stunning. It definitely has less enjoyable elements (*cough* 3-day mechanic *cough*) but any fan of the series should definitely play it at least once.

See you next time, when I review game #6: Secret of the Scarlet Hand!

#nancy drew #the final scene #nd honest reviews

8 notes · View notes

lordsister · 5 years

Text

Method of Teasing (Motonari Mouri x MC)

A/N: So this is going to have chapters for Mitsuhide, Kenshin, and Mitsunari too because wow, people like this a lot more than I thought they would. Which is amazing and makes me so happy!^^

Previous chapters--> Nobunaga, Ieyasu

Thank you @thetwinkims for beta reading! And hope you enjoy it @odissey061!

I do not own Ikemen Sengoku or any of its characters. I do, however, own the plot of this fanfic.

My ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/lordsister (please consider donating if you enjoy my work!^^)

He knew he was teasing her, the handsome bastard. He thought he could get her flustered with those tight pants and his fine ass and those smirks he sent over his shoulder at her when he caught her staring?

Well, he was damn right!

This wasn’t fair at all. Unlike most men of the Sengoku period who wore a kimono or hakama pants or other loose-fitting trousers, Motonari stood out in his form-fitting apparel, the material clinging to his muscled legs and leaving little to the imagination when it came to outlining his sculpted rear. Because that’s the only word she could use to describe it - sculpted.

While she was more than appreciative of her lover’s physique, MC didn’t know how much more of his teasing her heart could stand. How was it that she had fallen in love with the only man in the Sengoku period who wore pants like those? Or maybe that was one of the big things that had first attracted her? She didn’t know anymore.

“Liking the view, sweetheart?” a familiar, sultry voice asked from above. Blinking, she shook her head only to realize that she had zoned out while staring at the very object of her thoughts as Motonari climbed one of the many rope ladders used to adjust the sails. “Aw, don’t be shy. It’s all yours.”

The sensation of her cheeks lighting up was becoming uncomfortably familiar. “Motonari! Don’t say stuff like that out in the open!” As if her blush wasn’t bad enough, her voice came out as more whining than scolding, only adding to her embarrassment. Groaning, she turned around on her heel and covered her flaming face with both hands.

A heartbeat later, there was a thud on the planks next to her as her lover let go of the rope and dropped to his feet beside her. She was sure he looked amazing doing it, damn him. MC had no choice but to look at him as he settled one hand on her hip while the other grabbed her wrist, tugging her hands away from her face.“And why not, love? It’s not like it isn’t true. And everyone around here certainly knows it.”

God, the look he was giving her was the visual definition of ‘rogue,’ red eyes narrowed teasingly and lips curved up in a delicious smirk. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to smack that look off his face or kiss him breathless.

“B-Because it’s embarrassing…” she trailed off, attempting to avert her gaze only to have a finger under her chin draw it back.

“How can I help myself when you look so cute with your cheeks all red like that?” Before she could protest, his lips captured hers in a chaste kiss that somehow managed to leave her breathless in typical Motonari fashion. “You look even cuter all kissed like that.”

‘Screw it.’ Grabbing his lapels, MC pulled him into a longer, more passionate kiss, allowing his strong arms to tug her flush against him. “What am I going to do with you?” she panted against his lips when they parted long moments later, frowning at him.

“I don’t know.” Hands grasped sensuously at her sides and his nose brushed hers, red eyes glancing at her kiss-reddened lips. “Love me forever? Kiss me again? Take me down to our cabin and have your way with me?”

“All of the above.”

His smirk widened. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Damn him!’ she thought, even as she stroked her fingers through his snowy locks and gazed down at him with undeniable love in her gaze. The soft smile on his face as he slumbered away with his head on her chest and his arms wrapped around her made her heart melt, it was so sweet and affectionate, so different from the pirate’s usual hardness.

The reason behind MC’s internal cursing was the fact that she had been rendered weak under his teasing again. As much as she enjoyed the fruits of his teasing, she felt that he was more than due to receive some teasing in return. How though? More than half the time she ended up a blushing mess, helpless under his charms as he wooed her relentlessly. If she was going to tease him and win at it, she had to do something he wouldn’t expect, something that would render him just as flustered as she was when he caught her staring earlier-

Wait.

Her hand came to a halt in his hair, her eyes flying open to focus on the ceiling planks above her. Would that work? As far as she knew, he wouldn’t expect it, not from her. Maybe it would be enough to leave him flustered too? On second thought, it was Motonari she was talking about. She had only seen him flustered a few rare instances and having his ass smacked probably wasn’t going to add to that short list.

Even so...it was worth a try. And even if he wasn’t surprised, she would probably enjoy his reaction anyway.

Pressing her smile into her lover’s hair, she tried not to giggle too loudly as she cuddled him. She loved Motonari so much, loved seeing the new expressions and sides of him that appeared with each new experience they shared, and she couldn’t wait to see how he reacted when she gave him a taste of his own medicine.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the next few days after MC thought of the idea to tease him, she did her best not to give any of what she was planning away, easier said than done considering how observant he was, particularly when it came to her. She tried to keep her eyes from lingering on him, focusing on whatever was on hand instead, but she could tell her lack of attention was starting to annoy him.

“Whatcha thinking, princess?” Motonari asked from his place at the wheel as she sat against the rail a few paces away, mending clothes and supply bags.

Looking up, she smiled at him, trying to keep her expression from giving too much away as he peered at her from the corners of his eyes. “Not much. Why do you ask?”

His gaze slid back to the horizon, adjusting the course of the ship as the wind changed imperceptibly. “You’ve been quiet lately. Distant.” He turned back to her again, searching red eyes watching her as he kept one hand on the wheel. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” Unless you counted lying in wait to spring a naughty prank as “something wrong.”

The Motonari she knew now really was so different from the rough, near-mad sea dog she first encountered. Before, he wouldn’t have cared a bit about such a subtle change in her behavior, would have brushed it off as long as she was still breathing and useful. She counted herself lucky to have gained his affection and learned of this new side to him.

Gesturing to a crew member to take his place, Motonari strode over and crouched before her, taking her chin in his hand. “You know to tell me if something is wrong though.” It was more statement than question, a repetition of something he had made clear early on in their relationship.

“I know and I will.” Banishing thoughts of her prank for now, MC reached up to lace her fingers through his calloused ones. “Don’t worry, Motonari. I’m perfectly okay.” Maybe she was trying too hard not to be obvious, but truthfully she was really excited to try out what she had in mind. She hadn’t meant to worry Motonari though, and she leaned into his touch, trying to convey that she was alright and how grateful she was for his care.

“If you say so, I’ll trust you.” The hand she held suddenly tugged her to her feet, the fabric and sewing box in her lap falling to the deck as he led her down the wooden steps and towards the lower decks.

“Motonari? Where are we going?”

“To find some food. I’m hungry and I know you are too.”

She could tell he was still trying to fix whatever was or wasn’t wrong the best way he knew how - by taking care of her basic needs - and it warmed her heart to know he was that invested in her mental and physical wellbeing. It made part of her want to tease him even more than before, to show him she could stand toe to toe with him on this too.

Leaning closer to him and returning his smile, she could barely wait to see how he reacted to what she had in store for him.

The big question, she realized, was whether she should pull her stunt in front of his crew or when they were alone together. He had always been openly affectionate with her in front of his men, but he hated appearing weak or vulnerable in front of them too. She probably spent too much time deliberating over it, but eventually she decided to do it out in the open. He was always teasing her in plain sight. It was only fair she do the same.

A few more days of waiting and there he was again, looking as magnificent as always in the sunlight as he went about ordering his crew around. It was distracting as usual, but now it made MC more nervous than before, making her fidget in place as she tried to figure out what to do with her hands. How should she hold them when she was planning on using them to smack her boyfriend’s ass?

“Oi! Are you listening to me, princess?”

Blinking, she found her vision filled with Motonari’s frowning face a few mere inches from her own, his hands on his hips as he bent down a little to meet her gaze. “Ah, sorry. I guess I got distracted there.”

“Hmm?” Straightening, he smirked that smirk that told her teasing was about to come. “Admiring me again?”

Instead of denying it this time, she smiled secretively and said, “...Maybe.”

A fine white eyebrow lifted in delight and he tilted his head to the side. “Oh? Admitting it now?”

Meeting the playfulness in his eyes in turn, she answered, “Well, you did say it was mine after all, didn’t you?”

A few wolf whistles and low exclamations of amusement came from the crew members within ear shot, a couple of them shooting wide grins and winks her way as their captain spun on his heel to face them, turning his back to her.

“Hey! Back to work, all of you-ah!” Her hand bounced off the firm muscle of his butt and his head snapped around as the smack resounded in the air, instantly making the deck grow quiet as crew members’ jaws dropped.

The vulnerable look of surprise on his face was something she had seen only a handful of times before, an expression he made when he was well and truly caught off guard. It made her feel more triumphant than she thought it would. A smile very much like his own stretched her lips as he stared down at her, baffled. Another second later, the deck erupted into hearty guffaws and whistles, other crew members emerging from parts of the ship to see what the commotion was about.

Motonari ignored it all, a wild light in his eyes as he licked his lips and advanced on her. She had honestly never seen him so riled up before. “My princess is feeling playful, huh?” Wrapping an arm around her as his other hand dove into the hair at the back of her head, he tilted her head up to his, his breath fanning against her face as he husked, “I like that,” before his lips attacked hers and all chaos broke loose.

Needless to say, she was much more liberal with her teasing after that.

127 notes · View notes

nomenculture · 4 years

Link

Also see previous entries in this series: The confusion between sex and gender. [x] How not to prove the objective existence of gender. [x]

First, what is genderism? It can be used in the same sense as “sexism” and “racism.” And indeed that is how it’s mostly been used. But in this case I mean it in the colloquial sense of people who enforce gender roles. ...

The concept of genderism, as used in feminism, is usually defined as the belief that certain behavioral preferences are caused by a person’s sex, in general that one’s gender is the result of one’s sex, and therefore that gender is natural (and even desirable).

This stands in stark contrast to the view that gender is a social construct. It is also generally held as being the opposite of feminism, because feminists believe that being of the female sex does not constitute an obligation to take on a gender role which is constructed as inferior and subservient.

What are the behaviors and roles considered appropriate for one’s sex?

If you are a Feminist (even a Liberal Feminist or a Fun Feminist), the answer to this should be “There are no behaviors and roles considered appropriate for my sex because Females can be and do anything.”

There is a lot of nuances in definitions here, but they are not entirely necessary. For example, some include within genderism the belief that there are two genders. But the two genders are an artefact of culture; some culture have three genders or four genders, and really, the exact number is irrelevant: all that matters is that some are seen as superior and some are seen as inferior. Genderism would not magically disappear if we added another gender to the list.

So who are genderists exactly? There are two kinds. One is traditional genderism, which generally in the West holds that one’s gender was assigned by God or evolution through their sex. This covers the gamut from non-science (Bible fundamentalists) to pseudo-science (evolutionary psychology) to quasi-science (studies and papers written to “prove” genderism), as well as most conservatives and liberals.

Even if they vastly disagree on pretty much everything, the goal of all traditional genderists is to suppress feminism and restore “women’s place” in society in order to uphold the gender hierarchy. And these various factions have been quite successful; together they encompass so many approaches that one of them is bound to work.

The second kind is trans genderism (not to be confused with transgenderism). Trans theory states that when a male does not feel that ey is a man, or when a female does not feel that ey is a woman, this is a fundamental biological problem which must be rectified by chemical treatment and/or surgery. They believe in the link between sex and gender just as much; they simply add another layer, the “innate gender” which trumps one’s “assumed gender” and otherwise takes over its role.

Trans activists believe they are anti-genderism. This may be so, but the very definition of transgender implies a link between sex and gender:

Transgender (an umbrella term) (adj.)- for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.

Transgender (sometimes shortened to trans or TG) people are those whose psychological self (“gender identity”) differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with.

These are by far the most common definitions of transgender given by trans-friendly groups, and they clearly link sex and gender. If one is male, then one should feel like a man, and that if one is female, then one should feel like a woman. Gender rebels must be “helped” with chemical treatments and surgery so they can perform the proper gender.

In contrast, the traditional genderist position is that males are men and females are women, and gender rebels must be punished, not rehabilitated. The radfem position, on the other hand, is that we should live the way we want regardless of sex, that neither sex nor gender should limit us, and that gender-rebels deserve neither medical rehabilitation nor punishment.

From a radfem perspective, trans theory is extremely offensive in that it enforces gender roles while giving the illusion of choice. It ostensibly tells people that they can be whatever they want, but in practice they use one’s conformity or non-conformity to gender roles to assign them a label of “cis” or “trans.” And have created a new gender heirarchy between “cis” and “trans.”

Reducing “woman” to a checklist of characteristics that others have forced upon us is insulting. Feeling that you are a woman because you have a medically made hole in your body that does not act anything like our reproductive organ is insulting. Thinking that you can be a woman without experiencing the effects of being a woman in infancy, childhood, adolescence and adulthood is insulting. Womanhood is not putting on a frilly dress and being emotionally available. Womanhood is dealing with the fact that that is the expectation of us, which you just reinforce.

Cis/trans is a tyrannical, binary label which aims to erase all levels of gender rebellion. Everyone who is not genderist and who rebels against gender has no choice but to take refuge in the domain of queer and eschew the cis/trans binary completely (I know nothing of queer theory, so I will refrain from talking further about it). Given the fact that it reduces third genders from other cultures to a “trans” label that simply doesn’t apply, it is also a colonialist, some might even say white supremacist, concept.

I’m a bakla Filipina. To call me trans for being bakla is to entirely erase the cultural specificity of my identity and to enact a type of cultural imperialism, something I most certainly do reject. Yet in Asher’s binary construction of cis/trans I am considered trans, something that I am not. Either that or simply rendered invisible.

Please note that I am not accusing trans activists of being white supremacists. I know very well they are not. What I am saying is that some have called the cis/trans binary white supremacist from their own cultural perspective, and I completely understand that.

Gender rebellion is a consequence of the existence of gender itself. Once you set up these little prison cells where people have to conform to one or the other set of behaviors, there will be people whose personalities lead them to adopt an admixture of both, and who will rebel against the attempt to impose a set on them. Now we know for a fact that few people, if any, are totally gender conforming, but most people try to follow their role enough so they don’t stick out. Some people, by virtue of having a personality that is too divergent from these sets, cannot do so, and will naturally rebel.

If you research the subject outside of radfem blogs, the first thing you will find is that many people hate radical feminism with incredible passion and vitriol. The biggest part of this vitriol comes from trans activists and their allies, who accuse radfems of being transphobic and of propagating hatred.

The reason for this should not be hard to understand. Gender is an integral part of trans theory, and anyone who seeks to eliminate gender is undercutting trans theory at its very foundation. To deny gender is to deny the transgender identity. I don’t dispute that this is bigotry, but the bigotry is the result of a systemic analysis. An anarchist is right to be a bigot against policemen and soldiers, because their job is inherently one of repression, no matter how nice the individuals might be. An antitheist is right to be a bigot against priests, even if they are nice.

Anyone who identifies their job or their very well-being with hurting other people should rightly be hated, and gender hurts people on a massive global scale. Gender is the rationale for oppressing women, gender sustains the rape culture, gender is an excuse to beat down, imprison and kill people. In that it constrains us to a set of preferred behaviors, genderism is necessarily a denial of freedom, in the political sense as well as in the personal sense. To follow a gender role means to be told how to act, how to talk, how to think, how to react, how to dress, how to have sex; as long as we have to follow gender roles, we are slaves to hierarchy.

Feminism does not believe that asking whether an individual identifies with the particular social characteristics and expectations assigned to them at birth is a politically useful way of analyzing or understanding gender. Eliminating gender assignments, by allowing individuals to choose one of two pre-existing gender molds, while continuing to celebrate the existence and naturalism of “gender” itself, is not a progressive social goal that will advance women’s liberation.

Gender is an extremely oppressive and unnecessary construct. Defining “trans” people as those who deviate from otherwise unobjectionable gender norms is not a progressive social cause. Fighting for everyone’s right to be as gender “non-conforming” as they wanna be, on the other hand, is.

Some people even claim that radfems want to kill transgender people. This is a straightforward lie, but it is a fact that trans theory applied to children leads to the extermination of homosexuality, because a majority of gender rebellious children are homosexual. They are also the ones who issue death threats to “cis” people (the most popular trans slogan is “die cis scum”). It is traditional genderists who kill transgender people and want to take away their rights, not radical feminists. Trans advocates accuse radfem of “transphobia,” but they are the ones who constantly lie to transgender people and tell them that there’s something physically wrong with gender-rebelling children and adults.

I honestly don’t know a group of people more compassionate than people who run radical feminists blogs on the Internet. This is why it boggles my mind when I read claims that radfems are hateful monsters: it is disconnected from the reality I observe in a very egregious way, and so it feels like they’re invalidating my experience. Of course they don’t care that they’re invalidating me: to them, radfem are walking sulfur-smelling devils and that’s all there is to it. I don’t really know what to reply to that attitude except that they’re speaking out of a position of willful ignorance.

#this was written 7 years ago #things have gotten so much worse it's unreal #this post doesnt even mention the word TERF #radfem #radical feminism #gender abolition #gender critical

3 notes · View notes

karaliswrites · 5 years

Text

Hero

This is terrible and has spoilers

~~~~~

When emerald eyes meet ocean blue, Eren knows he wants to talk. There’s a solemn, perhaps even stern, look on his face and he gulps nervously. So much has happened to them in the span of so little minutes that Eren is surprised at how much his stomach churns. He supposes it’s the fact that he can sense Armin’s anger, the spark of fire in his eyes that he’s only seen on a few occasions. But he still doesn’t think it’s something to be as afraid of as he pathetically and selfishly is.

It’s after Heichou’s plan to make Historia the queen that they have a second to themselves. And almost as soon as the conversation is over, Armin’s gripping him by the sleeve and pulling him around the corner and out of sight from the others. Once they’re alone in the dark, secluded alleyway, he’s being thrown forwards a bit more roughly than he’d like. Though given the fact that any form of malignancy from Armin is enough to make his heart ache, he supposes it doesn’t really matter. He stumbles as he tries to catch himself and once he does, he turns to see his eyes downcast. “What the hell, Eren?” he says with a cool shakiness that makes him swallow despite himself. “Armin.”

He rushes forward, giving him a curt shove. “What the hell?!”

“Armin, I —” he tries, but soon his tongue is tripping over itself and no words are able to form on his lips. “What were you thinking?!” he yells, his fists taking half-hearted swings at Eren’s shoulders. “What was that about sacrificing yourself?! That saving humanity shit?! I can’t believe you!”

“Armin, calm down!” he says, trying to cease the attack on his chest. He manages to take hold of Armin’s wrists and hold him steady despite his struggles against his grip. He eventually stops and catches his breath, his fists no longer trembling in resistance. “Why . . . ?” he mutters, and his voice sounds broken. “Why did you . . . ?”

“Armin . . . look at me . . . .”

He raises his head, however hesitantly, and when emerald meet ocean, he feels his heart shatter. Tears flood from sapphire pools and roll hotly down his cheeks. The sheer agony in his eyes only adds to the exponential hatred he has for himself. Everything is his fault. It always was. “I’m not the hero everyone thinks I am. They think with my powers, I can save humanity, but they’re wrong. If . . . if I let Rod Reiss eat me . . . if I restored the power to its rightful place, maybe humanity would actually stand a chance.”

“Eren, those were just things Reiss said to get through to Historia. He needed her completely on his side and if she saw him as a victim in all this, she would be. You can still save humanity without their bloodline.”

“How can you be so sure?!” he snaps without thinking. He sees him flinch, but only slightly. It still makes his stomach drop. “For all we know, he could’ve been right about all that! And even if he’s not, what chance do I have of saving us?! If anyone should be the hero, it should be Levi or Mikasa — anyone who’s strong enough to be there when they’re needed most! All I ever do is fuck things up even more than they already have been!”

“Are you even listening to yourself right now?!” he shouts, taking fistfuls of the front of his shirt and Eren’s listening now. “Do you know how much you’ve done for us?! How much faith humanity has in you?!”

He hangs his head and mumbles, “How much faith I have in you . . . ?”

Eren feels his lungs constrict in his chest, rendering him completely helpless as he struggles to get enough oxygen. “You’re not a mistake, Eren,” he says and he’s left speechless at the fact that he’s seemingly telepathic. The exact thoughts flashing through his mind had somehow become clear to Armin and Eren wonders why it’s always been that way. But deep inside him, he thinks he knows. He just doesn’t want to. “I know how hard it is to think you’re useless. To think that everyone around you is so much more capable and to wonder why you even deserve to be here. I’ve felt it all before and I completely understand.”

Armin’s fingers loosen their grip on the fabric of his shirt slightly. “My entire life, I’ve felt like a burden. To Mikasa, to the corps, to everyone. But especially to you.”

He looks up with a sad smile, tears still steady as they run past his lashes and down his cheeks. “I always thought you were the key humanity needed to survive. To eradicate the titans. You had bravery and strength while I had nothing. I thought . . . you hated me.”

Eren wants to tell him that isn’t true — that it never was and never would be. But his mouth isn’t moving and besides, he thinks Armin already knows. “But I realized something.”

He blinks, letting another tear fall across his skin. “It didn’t matter what I thought of myself as long as you still had faith in me.”

His stomach flips, but this time it isn’t out of fear. “No matter what happened, you were always willing to entrust your life to me and that was all I needed. Even if I felt like I didn’t matter to anyone, I always remembered the times you showed me that I did to you.”

He takes a step closer into Eren’s personal space and his breath hitches. “So even if it doesn’t mean anything to you, I . . . . You’ve always been a hero in my eyes. You always have been and probably always will be. And no matter what comes our way, no matter what obstacles we might face, just know that you’re a hero. You’re my hero.”

He can’t restrain his tears as they slip from his eyes and he’s suddenly pulling Armin into an embrace he thinks he needed. The blond’s arms wrap instinctively around him and he buries his nose in golden hair, taking in his scent and feeling himself relax a little. “Armin . . . ,” he mutters, holding the embrace a bit longer before pulling away. He brings his hand to press against his cheek, wiping away his stray tears. “Thank you,” he says sincerely. Armin smiles and before he knows what he’s doing, he’s leaning forwards and pressing their lips together. He kisses him back tenderly, wrapping his arms around Eren’s neck like a lifeline. Their lips slide together like they were meant for each other, prefect and everlasting. There’s a hint of serendipity Eren thinks, but it isn’t necessarily that. Nothing about the way their hands pull each other closer, all their passion and grief melting away in one glorious kiss, is anywhere near serendipity. It’s more like destiny — like a rope that’s tied them together from the start that they’ve now discovered had them connected. A revelation, an epiphany, a realization that things had always been this way and they were either too young or too dumb to notice. Perhaps a little of both.

But despite how long they’ve waited for this moment, it has to come to an unfortunate end and they both take a moment to catch their breath. But then Armin pokes a finger to Eren’s chest and says, “So next time you think about sacrificing yourself, you should consider other people’s feelings.”

“Oh? And how do other people feel?” he finds himself asking with a grin and he’s amazed at how the conversation went from serious to playful because of a kiss. “Other people think you’d be stupid to do something like that and if for some reason it went wrong, they’d be drowning in misery.”

“That seems a bit intense, doesn’t it?”

“You know there are people who love you right?”

“Are there?” he asks with mock innocence and the blond rolls his eyes fondly, his fingers toying with the hair at his nape. “Yes, in fact, there are.”

“Does one of them happen to think of me as their hero?”

“Shut up,” he laughs, giving Eren’s lips another peck. “You aren’t allowed to use that against me.”

“So you love me, eh?” he avoids the question and giggles at the pout Armin gives him. He kisses his frown before pulling away to bring him into another hug. “Of course I do,” he mutters eventually and Eren can’t help smiling into his hair. “I love you too,” he says and it’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. And now that years of unspoken words have finally been said, everything seems a little less impossible.

8 notes · View notes

gihu · 6 years

Note

Hello ! I’ve been wanting to start drawing but to really learn. Do you have any tips ? How did you start drawing? I love your art !! 💕

Hello friend!! So sorry for the delay, I’ve been p busy and also was a little shook that anyone would ask ME for art advice??? bc tbh i’m hardly at that level yet LOL but also maybe it’s a good thing you asked me bc BOY have I struggled and BOY am i struggling now!! putting this under a cut bc i tend to ramble

So one thing I won’t say is “JuST pRActICE” which is what a lot of tumblr artists say and that irks me even though it’s true and valid advice it’s just…not that helpful. At least for me. Another thing I won’t say is “I popped out of the womb with a pencil in hand!!” because I can’t relate. Being from a pretty conservative Asian family/country kinda suppressed what desire to pursue art, even as a hobby, in me as a kid. I started learning how to draw in sophomore year in high school because I got REALLY fucking obsessed with One Piece LMAO. I lived and breathed OP, I was watching dozens of eps a day at one point. That one tumblr post that was like “the best way to get better at drawing is to become obsessed with something and draw it a million times”? Probably the most solid advice I’ve come across. Anyway, that obsession led me to wanting to create fanart for the first time (that was my starting point for wanting to become an artist, which eventually led me into stop motion, thanks One Piece)! I did start attempting to draw the characters right away, but I also started watching a bunch of youtube videos and using figure drawing sites to practice anatomy. I’d recommend starting off with learning anatomy! Learn the proportions of the face and body, it’ll help a TON. but you’ll have to learn how to enjoy the process of studying bc there’s so much studying to be done if you want to learn how to draw. Other tips (that helped me personally):

-don’t aim to finish a drawing 100%. By that I mean skip rendering the details, it’ll slow down your improvement. try to aim for 60 or 70%. also, some may disagree with me on this but try to avoid using color at all when you’re starting out! you may get overwhelmed and it’s fact that drawing and knowledge of values are far more important. i’ve heard a professor compare color to icing on a cake: it makes the cake pretty but why would that matter at all if the cake base tastes like crap??

- don’t doodle mindlessly. a tip i hear often is to doodle lots and lots but…i don’t think it helped me improve at all. you need reference, something to compare your drawings to so you can throughly analyze how to improve them. nearly every single artist i know, including myself, uses reference for their drawings. it’s ok to doodle to jot down ideas and stuff, just not for learning.

- draw from life as much as possible!! it’s more helpful than drawing from photos or art because translating from 3d to 2d really trains your brain by forcing it to analyze more. also, photos tend to be distorted and alter reality. copying/referencing art can be helpful but only if they’re master paintings (sargent, monet, etc.) IMO. please don’t copy from tumblr artists, even for practice LOL. try to avoid their tutorials as well if you’re a beginner you probably won’t be aware of the mistakes they make, and unwittingly incorporate them into your drawing habits. there’s tons of art book PDFs out there, they’re your best bet!

- carry a sketchbook around and just draw as much as possible. use your free time to draw from life. make it a habit. the more you draw the more you’ll add to your muscle memory and visual dictionary

- find out what interests you about the world, and incorporate those interests into your art! is it the way clothing falls across the body or the way light casts shadows? do you have a particular interest for teeth or hands?? i think hands are quite amazing

- idk if i’ll be able to explain this clearly but whether you’re drawing comics or making “aesthetic” work, CONCEPT will always be more important than how your art looks! by concept i mean idea, message, etc. The clarity of your message is also important! it needs to be readable

- don’t blame your tools for your lack of skill. when i was starting out i wasted so much time researching and accumulating a bunch of art supplies that i didn’t even use, thinking that better tools would increase the quality of my art. the only tools i needed turned out to be pencils, pens, some watercolors and later, a basic tablet. award-winning films have been made with iPhones alone.

- lastly…JUST DO IT. technical skills are important but what’s even more important is your passion and desire to create. what’s holding you back? fear of being judged? that’s dumb! the best art-related quote i’ve heard is by andy warhol:

“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.”

isn’t that beautiful? this changed my whole outlook on making art! i mean, you won’t ever be able to make art that appeals to everyone but you sure can make art that some people will like! there’s an audience for everything! so don’t be needlessly burdened by what you think others think of your art and make art for you and you only. one thing that i did that i deeply deeply regret is quitting drawing for 2 years up until this past summer, and that’s only because i didn’t think i’d ever be good enough at drawing. so i just gave up. it makes me so sad because even if i drew for just 10min a day i could’ve improved so much in those years! please don’t do what i did

- some helpful websites/youtube channels: schoolism (the best and most affordable online art class i’ve come across, $35 a month but they have legit instructors from disney, pixar etc.) Line-of-action (for figure drawing) croquis cafe (more figure drawing bc you can never do enough) sycra (youtuber who makes tutorials, one of the few that trust completely. i especially like his video on iterative drawing)

man that was long! but there’s so much to talk about still! btw it’s admirable that you want to learn a new skill! i believe that if you truly want something to be better at something, you will, 100%. if you ever have more questions, feel free to shoot me a message, my inbox/DMs are always open, even if i might take a while to get to it :)

#cinnamoncam

50 notes · View notes

tipsycad147 · 4 years

Text

Witchcraft: Beginner's Guide to Candle Magic

Mackenzie Sage Wright

Why and How to Practice Candle Magic

Candle magic harnesses the power of fire—the element of transformation—to bring change. Think for a moment about how fire transforms things. It melts wax. It renders many organic materials (leaves, wood, flesh and bone) to ash. It softens hard metals and makes them malleable for forging. It can heat substances, turning them from liquid to gas (water to steam, for example). If you mix ingredients together and put them into the fire, it can transform your batter into cake or your dough into bread. It brings light to the darkness and warmth to the cold.

Ever since human beings discovered fire, they have been in awe of its power, and they sought to harness that power, mostly to use its transformative abilities. We continue this ancient tradition when we practice candle magic.

If you’d like to learn candle magic, this guide will take you through the process step by step, from determining your goal and designing your spell to dressing your candle and burying it once the ritual is done.

Remember . . .

The moment you begin planning a spell, you are in the process of casting it. Always keep your intentions good and your attitude positive, because you’re pouring your energy into the goal.

Step 1: Determine Your Magical Goal

As with all magical workings, it’s very important to put thought into your goal. Here are some tips to keep in mind when setting a magical goal:

Be Specific: Avoid ‘wishing’ or ‘make-everything-better’ type goals.

Be Realistic: Don’t venture into the realm of fantasy, here.

Be Ethical: Always act ethically, and don’t interfere with free will.

Use Positive Language: Avoid words like ‘don’t’, ‘can’t’, ‘won’t’ and ‘not’.

Create a Series of Goals: Break bigger goals down into a series of smaller ones.

With those tips in mind, try to write your goal in a single sentence, such as ‘I need to earn extra money to pay the electric bill’ or ‘I want to be protected from harm when I travel’.

Step 2: Design Your Spell

Use your goal to help guide you in designing your candle-magic spell. Let’s say I’m doing a money spell for the electric bill. I’m going to do the most basic candle-magic spell: I’m going to visualise my goal and light the candle to release the energy.

I’ve decided to keep components simple and to a minimum—a taper candle in a holder, some oils to dress the candle, and maybe a few herbs and spices to lend some power.

Finally, I want a chant to help raise energy. I can use one of the many chants found online, or I can custom-design one. The only important thing about the chant is that it has meaning to you. I also personally like to use rhymes, because they’re easy to remember and to get into a rhythm.

If you use magical timing, you could check a lunar calendar to decide the best moon sign or planetary hour for your spell.

Chant to Attract Money

This is a chant from my Book of Shadows that I wrote when I was out of college and trying to get my finances in order, my career off the ground, and pay off my student loans:

Money, money, come to me

I seize the opportunity

With this spell the tables turn

What I need is what I earn

Increase paychecks I will see,

This is my will so mote it be!

Step 3: Collect Your Components

Choose components aligned with your goal. You will want to find a candle colour and oils, herbs and spices that correspond with your goal. For our money spell, we already designed the spell to use one candle, a holder, and some oils, herbs and spices to lend power. Let's look at how to choose components that align themselves best with our money spell.

In my magical cabinet, I will look for:

A New Green Candle: Candles should always be virgin—or never used—in candle magic. As for the colour choice, use your instincts or see the quick colour-correspondence guide below.

A Gold Candle Holder: Gold also represents wealth (it’s not real gold, it’s just gold-coloured, but it’ll do).

Patchouli Oil: This oil is associated with prosperity.

Ground Cinnamon: This spice is associated with wealth.

Dragon’s Blood: This resin lends spells power.

Ground Ginger: This spice is used to speed up results.

How Do You Choose What Kind of Candle to Use?

When it comes right down to it, you can use pretty much any kind of candle for your spell. I prefer tapers (typically medium-sized), but I sometimes use chime candles in a pinch. Votive candles and tea lights also work, though the latter is hard to dress. Lastly, pillar candles are a great option for multi-day spells, but I find they're a bit of a waste for one-day burnings.

How Do You Choose Magical Correspondences?

Part of learning Witchcraft is learning to choose correspondences appropriate to your goal. There are lots of correspondence charts in books and on the internet that can come in handy; a quick Google search will yield an abundance of them. While these charts can be helpful, the most important thing to remember is that the correspondences need to have meaning to you.

A good thing to ask yourself when choosing correspondences is, “What things do I associate with my goal?” In my case, green reminds me of money and wealth, but if gold or brown or red remind you of money and wealth, you could use those colours instead. If I didn't have essential oil, I might just use corn oil—corn reminds me of cash crops and prosperity. But you could just as easily use olive oil—it's expensive, so you might see it as a luxury item.

I use ginger because I have had success with it speeding up the results of spells. But let’s say you hate Chinese food because it makes you sick, and the smell of ginger reminds you of that. In that case, ginger would not be a good correspondence for you, because you associate it with being sick.

What Colour Candle Should I Use to Cast a Spell?

Colour Correspondences

Red assertiveness, courage, creativity, energy, passionate love, sex

Orange ambition, concentration, eloquence, legal issues, intellectual pursuits, success

Yellow attractiveness, clarity, happiness, intelligence, persuasiveness, travel

Green growth, fertility, harmony, health, prosperity, wealth

Blue dreamwork, healing, intuition, loyalty, peace, spirituality

Purple connecting to the higher self, communing with higher beings, meditation, psychic abilities and development

Pink beauty, compassion, femininity, partnerships, romantic/innocent love

White all-purpose (can be a substitute for any other colour), cleansing, purification, truth, reflecting energy

Black absorbing energy, banishing, breaking things (bad habits, hexes, etc.) discovering hidden wisdom, protection, self-defence

Grey invisibility (not literal), loneliness, neutralising energies and spells, wisdom

Brown abundance, family, friends, gardening, grounding, pets, stability

No list is written in stone. What's most important is what colours represent to you. This is just a general guide—feel free to tweak it, expand on it, or toss it if it doesn't resonate with you.

Step 4: Dress the Candle

This is one of the most important parts of doing candle magic. You have to establish a psychic link between the candle, you and your goal. The process for doing this is known as ‘dressing the candle’.

1. Rub the Candle With Oil.

Dressing the candle requires the candle and some oil (whatever you’ve chosen based on your goal). The basic idea is that you have to pour the oil on your hands and rub it on the candle, but there are a lot of different opinions on the ‘proper way’ to rub the oil on the candle. Here are some variations:

Rub the candle with oil from top to bottom.

Rub the candle with oil from bottom to top.

Rub from top to bottom to draw things to you; rub from bottom to top to send things away.

Start at the centre of the candle and rub from centre to top, then from centre to bottom.

Start at the ends of the candle and rub oil on from the top to the centre, then from the bottom to the centre.

So which one is right? I think this is one of those things in which various methods work and you need to choose the one that works best for you.

2. Visualise Your Intent.

More important than the way you rub the candle is your mental state as you do so. As you rub the oil onto the candle, you should be strongly visualizing your intent and mentally ‘pouring’ that energy into the candle. (You can use your chant at this point if you feel it will help.) You will start to feel the energy building. Your hands may actually begin feeling tingly or the candle may begin to feel like it’s pulsing with energy. This is good—it’s working.

3. Continue Until Candle Is Charged With Energy.

Do this for a couple of minutes, maybe 50 to 100 strokes, until you feel the candle is sufficiently charged. You can dress your candle well ahead of time if you like, or you can do it just before casting the spell. It’s up to you.

Using Herbs and Spices to Add Power to Your Spell (Optional)

We talked about using herbs and spices to help lend power to the spell, but how do we do that? It's pretty easy, really. After you choose herbs and spices that correspond with your goal, hold them in your hand and charge them with your intent. Roll the dressed candle in them, or sprinkle them over or around the candle.

Using Runes and Symbols to Add Power to Your Spell (Optional)

Another way to add power is to scratch names, numbers, or symbols in the wax of the candle. You can use anything from a pin or earring to a ritual knife to scratch things into the wax.

For our money spell, I’ll scratch my name into the wax (to further connect myself to the candle) and I'll add the ancient rune Fehu. Fehu is a rune that symbolises prosperity.

If runes are meaningless to you, you might choose a different symbol, such as a dollar sign or money bag. Of course, you could always just write 'money' on it. That'll work, too.

Do you have a preference for dressing a candle?

Top to bottom, always.

Bottom to top, always.

From outward to the centre.

From the centre outward.

No standard way-- depends on the intent, the candle, etc.

I never heard of dressing a candle before. Maybe that's where I went wrong.

How to Dress a Candle

Step 5: Cast the Spell and Light the Candle

When the time has come to cast your spell, sit before your candle and follow these steps.

Meditate as long as necessary to relax yourself. Take a few deep breaths, release tension and let go of intrusive thoughts and worries. If you want, you can imagine these thoughts are helium-filled balloons and visualise yourself letting go of them.

Begin to visualise your goal, as if your mission has already been accomplished.

Try to feel the feelings you would feel if your goal were accomplished. You would probably be happy, relaxed, and relieved. Imagine what you’d look like—what your life would be like—if your goal were accomplished.

When you have a clear visualisation in mind, repeat your chant as often as you feel is necessary to raise energy. When you feel yourself bursting with your goal in mind, light the candle.

Imagine the candle’s aura (the light aura right outside of the flame) is growing, getting bigger and bigger, filling the whole area. Imagine it growing out, expanding into the universe to bring you to your goal. You may continue chanting if you desire.

Spend some more time visualising yourself attaining your goal. Hold the visualisation as long as possible.

A Helpful Guided Meditation for Manifestation

Step 6: Let the Candle Burn Out, Then Bury It

Make sure the candle is in a safe place, and allow it to burn out on its own. It might go out before it’s finished, or it might completely melt away into nothing. It’s okay either way—don’t re-light it.

Once the candle has gone out, bury the remnants and know that the ritual is done.

More About Candle Magic

This is only one of many candle-magic methods. Some people like to write or draw a picture of their goal on paper and place it under the candle. Some people like to write down their desire and burn the paper, lighting it from the candle flame. Some people put a pin in the candle and, instead of letting it burn down to nothing, they extinguish it when it gets down to the pin.

Other more complex candle spells may include performing the chants and visualisations for multiple days in a row. You would extinguish the candle each night and re-light it the next day when you continue with the spell.

Other candle magic methods involve using multiple candles—one to represent the caster, one to represent the target, and one or more candles to represent goals or situations.

That’s part of the beauty of candle magic: It’s flexible, so you can really design your spell to suit your needs, but you also can keep it fairly simple with a minimum of supplies. Keep practising and you may be surprised by how helpful this skill can be.

If you're interested in learning more about candle magic and spells, check out the books below. Both are excellent resources for beginners.

Candle Magick Workbook

The Candle Magick Workbook

A very thorough basic introduction for the beginner or anyone wanting a better basic understanding of candle magic. Each chapter has quizzes, worksheets and room for notes, so it's very interactive. I found it very thorough. It's not specifically Wiccan, but it has Wiccan-ish undertones.

Candle Spells and Rituals

Practical Candleburning Rituals: Spells and Rituals for Every Purpose (Llewellyn's Practical Magick Series)

This is a great guide for both Pagan and Christian Witches, as each candle spell gives both a Pagan and a Christian (Bible-based) version.

https://exemplore.com/wicca-witchcraft/Witchcraft-Beginners-Guide-to-Candle-Magic

1 note · View note

dancingkiwi89 · 7 years

Text

Malec Fic: I’ll Say Yes to You

(Hello, Everyone! I am having so much fun writing Malec stories. I hope you enjoy)

Today had been a long day; spending his afternoon trying to reign in his cocky parabatai, he was ready to hold his beautiful boyfriend in his arms and relax. So when Alec walked through the door to see Magnus on the couch and the sounds of what could only be 'Say Yes to the Dress.' on the television, he groaned. He wouldn't go as far to say he hated television but he just hated this show. Of course, when it came to Magnus' pouting face, he could never resist. The noise caused Magnus to glance in his direction,

"Alexander, darling, you are home earlier than I expected. Sit with me and see what dress this lovely young woman ends up choosing."

Walking towards to kitchen Alec shook his head, "I'd rather start something for dinner. I didn't eat much earlier."

"Alexander, food can wait a moment, there are only 15 minutes left of the episode, then we can cook together. I know how much you love to cook with me."

He just stood there looking at Magnus hoping he'd give in and let him hide in the kitchen until the episode was over but he could tell that wouldn't happen. Before he made a move towards the couch, Magnus continued,

"I know you hate weddings and anything wedding-related, just humor me."

Alec mumbled under his breath.

"You'll have to speak a little louder, sweetheart. I couldn't make that out."

"I don't hate weddings."

"If you don't hate weddings then why do you get in this mood every single time I watch this show?"

"I don't get in a mood."

"Can you not hear the sharp tone of your voice right now? I'd call that being in a mood."

Alec didn't want to have this discussion. He just wanted to eat dinner and cuddle with his boyfriend, who at the moment seemed to be getting annoyed with him. The last thing Alec wanted to do was upset Magnus; it would take days to get out of the doghouse if the attitude was kept up. He sighed.

"I'm sorry if I've been snippy with you. I don't mean to be rude. If you turn the television off, I'll explain."

Magnus snapped his fingers, as the screen switched off Magnus moves over on the couch to make space for Alec. Alec sat down close enough for their knees to touch but kept his hands in this lap. Alec couldn't look up from his hands.

"Magnus, this might sound ridiculous to you. Please don't laugh. You know that I don't appreciate most of the mundane culture, the only Lightwood that cares at all is Izzy. This particular show is one of Izzy's favorites; you know how much she loves dresses. In fact, I think she'd be the best television watching companion for you. She used to guilt me into watching, and you see these girls, who don't worry other than getting the perfect dress for their perfect wedding. You can't help but feel bitter."

He felt Magnus take one of his hands, "Why would you feel bitterness towards them, Alexander? Mundanes have always lived relatively carefree while we deal with the stress of protecting them."

"Every time I watched this show it was a reminder that I was never going to have what I wanted. I don't mean the flashy wedding but the marriage that comes after. A relationship where I could reciprocate the feelings. I felt I would never have the chance to fall in love. I would marry some girl my parents found, have a few kids, and work until I died, lying to myself and everyone. So, I put up this front as if relationships weren't worth it. I pretended I was too busy to let something as trivial as love be something I desired. I thought I couldn't have it, so I pushed it to the back of my mind."

"Alexander..."

"I know, I have the chance now, but it just is a reminder that if you weren't so persistent that I'd still be that guy. I'd still be denying myself happiness out of some sense of loyalty. And to what? The Clave? My parents? I hated myself for wanting it, Magnus. I felt I was selfish. I... I never..."

Alec choked on the words. Magnus ran his hand up and down his back. The touch was calming. Magnus reached around Alec's back and pulled him closer.

"You want to feel loved. That isn't selfish. Everyone desires to be loved, Alec. I've been heartbroken many times because I thought I had found love."

Alec muttered, "Stupid people."

"What?", Magnus questioned, noting the annoyed tone return to his boyfriend's voice

"They were stupid to break your heart, to not realize how lucky they were to be loved by you. The love you've shown me even when I didn't always deserve it, has made me feel okay with myself. You loved me when I didn't know that was anything about me to love."

"There is a long list of things to love about you. I can write all the reasons down if you want."

"There's no need for that."

Magnus took the hand that was not resting at Alec's waist to bring Alec's face closer to his. The moment their foreheads touch Alec looked directly into Magnus' eyes, and he could see the future he wanted. Just the two of them against the world.

"Magnus, can I kiss you?"

"You never have to ask, sweetheart."

Alec brings his lips to Magnus', pressing against them softly at first but adds more pressure as he feels Magnus' tongue graze his bottom lip. As he was about to deepen the kiss, his stomach growled, reminding him that he hasn't eaten in hours. Magnus pulled away with a laugh. He reached to grab his phone from the table in front of them.

"How rude of me, I forgot to feed you. You must be starving."

Alec blushed, "Yeah, sorry to ruin the moment."

"Don't worry about that. Let's get you fed. How does Chinese food sound?", Magnus asks while scrolling through his contacts for the number to their favorite place.

"Sounds perfect."

When Magnus hung up from ordering food, he turned to Alec again.

"So, you want to marry someone someday?"

Shaking his head saying no caused Magnus to throw him a questioning look. Alec elaborated, "I don't want to marry just anyone, Magnus, I want to marry you someday."

"You want to get married... to me? I know you are finally open about your sexuality but are sure that you'll still want to be with me in a few years? I'm your first relationship. I would be honored to marry you but have you thought about it? I love being with you, but people only stay with me for awhile. I am eventually too much for them. I don't give them what they want. Once the real me slips out, they realize they could do better."

Alec reached out and placed his hands on Magnus' shoulders because he turned away from Alec as he spoke. It took a moment for Magnus to look at Alec, the seriousness in his eyes surprised him.

"Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love you. I don't want to. You are the most generous person I've ever met. You care about everyone even when they are treating you poorly. You take new Downworlders under your wing because you don' want them to be alone like you were. There is nothing you won't do for people, even if it's against your best interest. Exhibit A: Clary. No one could do better than you. I've been able to call you mine for a short time, but I have never been more proud. You were never too much for them, baby, they were not enough for you. You are worthy of love, Magnus. They were all too self-centered to know how. "

He can see that he rendered Magnus speechless. A single tear falls from one of his beautiful cat eyes. Alec continued,

"I want to marry you someday. I want to give you the love you deserved to have your whole life. I want to introduce you as my husband. I know you think it must be because you're the first guy who showed interest but you're wrong. I wasn't going to risk my life for just anyone. It wasn't going to be a random guy. I was so far in the closet it was going to take someone special for me to come out. It was going to take someone magical. It was never going to be anyone other than you."

A smile appeared on Magnus' face. "Alexander, the things you do to me. You are remarkable."

"I was just telling you the truth, Magnus. You hide behind your flirtatious nature because lust is easier to find than love. And passion is good at the moment. The real reason I was shocked by how many relationships you've been in other than being slightly intimidated was that no one showed you that you could love yourself too. I'm not the only person who feels hatred towards themselves."

The gasp that escaped from Magnus' lips echoed in the apartment.

"How do you do that? Alec, how do you walk right through the walls I've spent centuries building?"

"A lot of people look at you in the image they've created for you, but rarely do people look further to see you for who you are. They don't see past the eyeliner and magic tricks. There is a look in your eyes that appears when you think no one is paying attention. I recognized that look. I've seen it in the mirror on numerous occasions. The moment I saw it on you, I knew you weren't playing games. I knew you understood me in ways I didn't understand myself. That scared me. You scared me, but I'm no longer afraid. I just want to continue loving you as best I can."

"No one has ever cared enough to see that side of me. You never cease to amaze me, Alexander. I love you."

"I love you too, Magnus."

Alec pulled him into a tight hug, a knock at the door reminded them of the food ordered. Magnus removed himself from Alec's embrace. He watched as Magnus walked towards the door. Alec was so lucky to have such a great boyfriend. Magnus was sweet, caring, and so damn beautiful. He will spend the rest of his life being grateful for this relationship.

When Magnus made it back to the couch, he placed the bag of food on the coffee table and took his spot next to Alec. Alec could sense Magnus was nervous about something. After everything, they talked about how can Magnus still feel uncomfortable? Magnus knew he could tell him anything, right?

"Babe, what's wrong?" "I have something to ask you, and don't think I'm going to forget that you've used a pet name twice during this conversation."

Alec blushed, "Don't make a big deal out of it. The names felt right at the moment but don't expect it outside of your apartment. I'm only like this with you. What do you want to know?"

"Alexander, we talked about marriage and how real our feelings are. We are too new to adventure into marriage, but do you think you'd like to make my apartment, our apartment?"

"Are you crazy, Magnus? I'd love to move in with you, why were you scared to ask me?"

"I didn't want to scare you away. I know you are here most nights, but I want to have you here every night. It is getting hard to sleep without you and your adorable snores."

Alec tried to look annoyed but looking at the playful smile on his boyfriend's lips; he couldn't. He loved Magnus so much that he hoped he never has to be without him. He reached towards the remote for the TV and asked,

"Is there anything you'd like to watch, Magnus? I promise I'll refrain from being moody."

"Eating Chinese food while watching something with my boyfriend. I might even get to cuddle. How mundane of you, Shadowhunter?"

Alec moved closer and kissed him on the cheek, "Doing mundane things aren't so bad when I get to do them with you."

"I know just the thing to watch. Have you heard of Star Trek? I think you'll enjoy it. Plus, one of the actors is gay. George Takei. And no, before you ask, I've never slept with him."

"Whatever you want, babe."

Magnus giddily took the remote from him. All Alec could do was smile. He spent so much of his life hating himself for things he couldn't control but being here with Magnus made every single moment worth it. Alec would go through it all again if it meant Magnus was his.

As the Star Trek theme started to play it reminded Alec, they almost spent night arguing over a stupid television show. He almost got lost in his bitterness. Opening up is hard for him, but no matter how ridiculous the things that sparked his feelings were, he could always trust Magnus to listen. As Magnus handed him a container of fried rice, he knew this was where he was meant to be.

#malec fanfiction #magnus bane #alec lightwood

29 notes · View notes

whoamicantbeatgames · 5 years

Text

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age

I’m still unsure about the direction I want to take this in, because I don’t really want to do game reviews, but I don’t really know what else to talk about in games other than “i liked this, but abhor the very idea that this part exists”. But that’s neither here nor there, because here is where I talk about FFXII:TZA, and there is the list of games I’m slowly beating. Also, maybe I should start taking screenshots so I can add them for these?

In case you’re not aware, I’m fairly vocal about how much I don’t like the vanilla PS2 version of FFXII whenever it’s brought up. It’s not like its base is a terrible game, it’s just a game that does so many things I hate that it’s a terrible game.

So imagine my surprise when suddenly my hand moves to my wallet and exchanges monies for a Remastered Version of a game I already:

Played through most of.

Hate with a burning passion (except Balthier, ilu, you can be my leading man ANY day)

C. Still have access to the original version.

And... I played it through in a fairly short amount of time given my standards (like a month!). It changed so much from the original version that I disliked, even changing things I didn’t even know existed at the time and hating their existence retroactively. But I don’t need to anymore, because those aspects that tainted a... good(?*) game are now gone.

So, it’s weird to say, after insisting so long that I hate FFXII, but... I do actually like FFXII. Certainly, it took:

the addition of jobs (and the ability to change jobs)

freeing up all(?) gambits near the start of the game

a fast-forward mode (comes in 2x and 4x flavors)

removal of chests you shouldn’t open at all if you want the Best Gear

removal of the 9999 damage cap

removal of the effect queue (while this is understandably a product of it being on the PS2 rather than a conscious design choice, I still don’t like it)

separating the Mist Gauge from your MP

a better understanding of how to effectively use buffs, debuffs, and status ailments that a 13-year old me did not have

several years for the political intrigue of the world of Ivalice to bubble around in my mind, just waiting for a proper resolution

the addition of a Trial Mode full of tough fights to take on whenever you feel like, giving a further goal to work towards beyond just sidequests

And (perhaps most importantly,) Reks and Balthier in HD.

I can’t really imagine going back to the original after TZA has spoiled me with a game that I didn’t find a chore to play through.

That’s not to say that everything’s all great and gumdrops and rainbows over in Ivalice, because... well, it’s not. There are still aspects of the game that I don’t like.

Chests are (mostly) randomly (re)spawning and (mostly) have random items or money in them. It’s workable, but far from perfect. If you’re just playing through the game and not really bothering with optional content, it’s skippable stuff, but it doesn’t sit right with me not knowing if a chest contains something I want/need but I wasn’t lucky enough to get it this time.

Bosses, later in the game, can have barriers that just render them immune to either physical or magical damage for two whole Real Minutes. Dealing with a single one isn’t impossible, since it just requires swapping out a character or two. It’s when both of them are up at the same time that it gets really bad. While you can just fast forward until these go away now, I still think that this is a terrible design for bosses. It pads for time without making them any tougher than before. It feels awful to just wait there, being powerless to end a fight while it just goes on with little chance of you actually losing. There was exactly one case where I feel that the two minute boss immunity window was interesting, and that was the second fight with Gilgamesh, which is already split up into several phases, and in this fight, it felt like a shift in the battle from trying to end him as quickly as possible to struggling to survive his onslaught. I still didn’t like it conceptually, but it didn’t detract from the fight, at least.

Vaan (the ‘main’ character), Penelo, and Fran also barely feel like characters after getting some story events a bit early in the game. It’s really a shame, considering how much like people Ashe, Basch, and Balthier feel like. Maybe Revenant Wings and Grimoire of the Rift fixed these, but those aren’t on my list of games to play.

Also there’s a dungeon in the game which is horrifyingly confusing, has no minimap, compass, or large map. You’re just given a basic “yeah you’re probably around here in the overall structure.” Only a small part of it is required for the story, but if you want to explore it all, like I foolishly did, you’re in for a world of agony. The required part is fairly straightforward with only one or two paths. The optional portion involves trying to open puzzle gates and get through timed sections (which are understandably generous, but still) with intersections often involving three, four, or five paths. It’s probably the least amount of fun I’ve had being utterly and completely lost in a game.

Beyond those, though, I just mostly found things in it that I did like, rather than only seeing flaws years ago, which is... refreshing, honestly.

It’s also possible that me playing FFRK and getting fairly good gear for Ashe and Vaan had paved the way for me to better appreciate them in their base game, along with the game itself. That’s probably a topic for a later date that would bore the main audience of this blog, though.

* I’m unsure about how I feel calling TZA versions of FFXII “good”, because a lot of how much I like it is bundled up with how much faster it is than the original, which... shouldn’t really affect it that much, and even if it does, that also means the original is also good, and I don’t like the implication that my old biases are, in fact, wrong. However, when everything from battles to exploring cities goes 4x as fast as the original, it sure is nice.

I give Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age for Nintendo Switch a Nice to me-heet you ho! out of ME EAT YOU WHOLE.

0 notes

sachesky · 7 years

Photo

Since first chapter of OBS&BH going to kill me be uploaded today, I try to make a playlist to hurt your soul while reading about Victor’s super angsty unrequited love with some meta lyric to add the pain to listen while reading.

Bring on the chapter, @kazliin, the fandom is ready for some pain.

Full Playlist

1. Delilah – Florence and The Machine

Took anything to cut you, I can find (Holding on for your call)

Strung up, strung out for your love / Hang in, hung up, it’s so rough / I’m wrung and ringing out / Why can’t you let me know?

2. Magnetised – Tom Odell

Cause it’s not right, I’m magnetised / To somebody that don’t feel it / Love paralyzed, she’s never gonna need me / But sure as the world keeps the moon in the sky / She’ll keep me hanging on / She keeps me hanging on

North to south, white to black / When you love someone that don’t love you back

3. Sorrow Violet – Depapepe

(no lyric here because instrumental but it’s very good and the pain is real)

4. R U Mine – Arctic Monkeys

In my mind when she’s not right there beside meI go crazy ‘cause here isn’t where I wanna be / And satisfaction feels like a distant memory / And I can’t help myself / All I wanna hear her say is are you mine?

Well are you mine? (are you mine tomorrow?) / Are you mine? (or just mine tonight?) / Are you mine? (are you mine tomorrow?) / (Or just mine tonight?)

5. Wicked Games – London Grammar

What a wicked thing to do / To make me dream of you / What a wicked thing to say / To make me feel this way And I don’t wanna fall in love / No, I don’t wanna fall in love / With you

6. Очи чёрные

Очи чёрные, очи жгучие / Очи страстные и прекрасные / Как люблю я вас, как боюсь я вас / Знать увидел вас я не в добрый час.

Не встречал бы вас, не страдал бы так/ Я бы прожил жизнь улыбаючись / Вы сгубили меня очи чёрные / Унесли на век моё счастье.

Translation

Dark eyes, burning eyes / Passionate and splendid eyes / I love you so, I fear you so / Truly, I saw you at a sinister hour

If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t be suffering so / I would have lived my life smiling / You have ruined me, dark eyes / You have taken my happiness away forever

7. Shelter – The XX

Can you hear, when I say? / I have never felt this way

I still want to drown, whenever you leave / Please teach me gently, how to breathe

Maybe I had said, something that was wrong / Can I make it better, with the lights turned on

8. Untitled – Maliq and D’essentials

this is an Indonesian song but the it’s literally about unrequited love. full translation here

ketika kusadari sudah / tak selalu indah cinta yang ada / mungkin memang ku yang harus mengerti / bilaku bukan yang ingin kau miliki / salahkah ku bila kaulah yang ada dihatiku / adakah ku singgah dihatimu / mungkinkah kau rindukan adaku / adakah ku sedikit dihatimu

mengapa cintamu tak dapat kumiliki / salahkah ku bila / kaulah yang ada dihatiku

Translation

realise that / this love isn’t always beautiful / perhaps I should’ve understood / that I’m not the one that you want / is it wrong if / you’re the one in my heart / do you have me in your heart / is it possible that you miss being with me / do you have any fragments of me in your heart

why can’t I have your love / is it wrong if / you are the one in my heart

9. Stolen Dance – Milky Chance

Coldest winter for me / No sun is shining anymore / The only thing I feel is pain / Caused by absence of you / Suspense is controlling my mind / I cannot find the way out of here

And I want you / We can bring it on the floor / You’ve never danced like this before / We don’t talk about it / Dancin’ on do the boogie all night long / Stoned in paradise, shouldn’t talk about it

10. Don’t Go Away – Oasis

Damn my education - I can’t find the words to say / With all the things caught in my mind.

So don’t go away / Say what you say / Say that you’ll stay / Forever and a day / In the time of my life / 'cause I need more time / Yes, I need more time / Just to make things right

Me and you - what’s going on? / All we seem to know is how to show / The feelings that are wrong.

11. She Don’t Belong to Me – Tom Odell

As I begin to wonder will I ever be enough / Her hand, it slips away from mine along with all the love

My-y-y how happy we could be / Like a feather blowing in the wind, she don’t belong to me She let’s you in her bed at night and keeps you from the cold / No matter how hard you hold her yeah, you always wake alone / Like the sun, she lights you up and everyone around / But sure as hell that sun will set, she’ll always let you down

12. Unrequited Love – Yuna

Only when I look into your eyes / My senses ignite / I feel alive / I was waiting for an answer / Like a feather falling / From the sky You don’t want to belong to me / 'Cause freedom feels better / Then I could give / You love inadequately / But you steal hearts like mine / Perfectly

13. I Can’t Make you Love Me – Bonnie Raitt

I’ll close my eyes / Then I won’t see / The love you don’t feel / When you’re holding me.

14. You – The Pretty Reckless

You don’t want me, no / You don’t need me / Like I want you, oh / Like I need you And I want you in my life / And I need you in my life

15. Mad About You – Hooverphonic

Trouble is my middle name / But in the end I’m not too bad / Can someone tell me if it’s wrong to be so mad about you

Give me all your true hate and I’ll translate it in our bed / Into never seen passion, never seen passion / That is why I am so mad about you

I should probably add Love of My Life from Queen but it would render me catatonic so...

#kaz rivals series #of bright stars and burning hearts #obs&bh #yuri on ice #rivals au #music #victuuri #until my feet bleed and my heart aches #umfb&mha #personal #my post #long post #i have donuts and smirnoff for unhealthy coping methods yay

12 notes · View notes

akamaru01 · 7 years

Text

Just watched the season finale of RWBY Vol 4 so I’ll drop a few thoughts of mine below the cut

tldr; GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

Edit: Wow I am making this a lot longer than I intended to but I’ll keep going

So first of all, this was very much an exposition season, but personally I am 100% okay with that. It’s very reminiscent of Vol 1, actually, which makes sense considering this is the start of a new... arc I guess? New piece of the story. Whatever. So anyway, personally I believe it was handled very well. There was plenty of action to keep up the energy, but not so much that it left no time to tell the stories they wanted to tell. And boy were those stories great. I want to pick apart each of the main groups one at a time.

First of all, Ruby Team RNJR. So after the loss of Pyrrha, Penny, and in a way Yang, these four banded together to try and make things better, not giving up in the face of adversity. Jaune continues his training, and seems to have even become a stronger tactician, which we saw he had a potential talent for back in Vol 1 fighting the Deathstalker. His physical abilities are still being worked on, but he’s shown to continue getting better at a steady pace. However, he is shown to still be grieving, as shown after Qrow explains the story of the Maidens to them. We finally learned about Ren and Nora’s origin, and first of all those little kids were adorable as hell. And that Nuckelavee Grim is horrifying and I love it. So this origin also shows Ren going from a bubbly little kid to the stoic person he is today, after a tragedy like that who can blame him? While Nora, who grew up as a sad kid, after meeting Ren and gaining a friend was able to become the super energetic ball of energy she is without fear. But when the same Grimm came back, Ren LOST IT and I thought it was beautiful and heart breaking. This monster stole his life, and all that passion and fire in Ren boiled to the surface, his rage blinding him and only Nora was able to calm him down so he could refocus and face his demon with composure. Finally, we come to Ruby. Although she played an important part in the season, in her group she was very much not the main point of focus. But after the battle with Tryion, and Qrow explaining the religion of Remnant and the 4 powers, Ruby learns who she pissed off, but they all decide to continue the journey regardless. And then the next morning they realize Qrow is poisoned, so now Ruby has to deal with the possibility of someone else close to her dying, but resolves to not let it stop her. Through the course of the season, she leads Team RNJR on their journey through Anima, getting occasional advice from the other 3 regarding the area and direction.

Next up, Weiss. She’s come a long way from Vol 1. And now we confirm that her father is indeed a manipulative asshole, and we now know she has a devil of a little brother. Also a fantastic butler who is a much better father than Jacques. In the beginning of the season, she does not resist her father’s plans, regardless of her own feelings towards them, showing she was still afraid of him and his anger. However, during the reception, she is surrounded by ‘nobles’ who talk shit about Beacon and the Faunus. After everything she’s experienced and seen, she finds the courage to retaliate at all of them, angry that they would talk so poorly about other living beings. I loved this moment, because it shows her showing her development from Vol 1, and that she will no longer stand for such horribleness. After awakening her summoning power and causing a ruckus with a Boarbatusk put down by Ironwood, she is grounded by her father and berated for being ‘primitive’ by her brother. Her lashing out also caused Jacques to name Whitley his new heir. Soon after, Weiss decides on a new plan. She will no longer live under her father’s thumb, and will leave Atlas to find her friends and help people like a true Huntress. The end of Vol 4 shows her bribing a pilot to let her stowaway in the cargo hold before the plan to shut down Atlas completely is put into place.

Blake, after coming to the decision that anyone she is close to will be harmed by the White Fang like Yang was, leaves for her home in Menagerie. Of course, Sun being Sun he followed after her. Blake being Blake, she is initially annoyed at his insistence to go where she goes, and continues to be annoyed at him for most of the season. However, he is a friend, and has never been to Menagerie, and he’s already there, so she takes him with her. She explains that Menagerie may be a haven for Faunus, but it’s also almost like a prison, a place for Faunus to go so regular humans don’t have to interact with them. Menagerie isn’t even a kingdom. We find out her father was the previous leader of the White Fang and current chief of Menagerie, essentially making Blake a noble. I love this because it adds on to the duality between Blake and Weiss. Two nobles of very different backgrounds and upbringings, initially hostile to each other but over time become best friends. Kali quickly takes a liking to Sun, as he is basically a dork who clearly cares for Blake,even though he’s not always bright. Ghira dislikes him for the same actions. After chasing down a White Fang spy and battling one of Blake’s old friends, a battle where Sun got hurt, Blake remembers why she left in the first place. She yells at Sun for following her, and only wants to try to live in peace so that no one else can get hurt. However, Sun retaliates, telling her that he chose to fight, and so did Yang, and neither of them blame her for their injuries. Her problems don’t have to be her own anymore, because she has friends, and with this and the information that Adam is going after Haven Academy, they decide to head for Mistral to fight. This talk was very important, as Blake has said before that all she does is run away, and has in the past constantly tried to do things herself, usually with mixed or negative results.

Yang, after losing her arm, is in a state of emptiness and loss. She is shown to not be very active, and rather emotionless. Even when a new arm arrives for her, she refuses to try it, still traumatized by the battle with Adam. After a talk with Taiyang, Port, and Oobleck, she is feeling better, but not quite there. However, she hears the 3 of them talking about Taiyang going after Ruby, but he has to look after Yang. This, possibly coupled with her desire to help her sister, gives her the strength to try the arm. She begins sparring with Taiyang in an attempt to regain strength, get used to the arm, and learn about herself. She was still not completely okay for a time, but Taiyang told her the truth she needed to hear. She was reckless. She relied on her semblance and so never bother with defense, which is what led to her defeat. This explanation of her weakness allowed her to grow stronger not only physically, but mentally, with the knowledge of being better than before to prevent such an event in the future. So, with some more rest and recuperation, and a slick new paint job for the arm, she decided to go after Ruby in Mistral.

Oscar was a simple farmboy, now going crazy with a voice in his head telling him to leave home and fight evil. I loved how realistic Oscar’s reactions were to this. Freaking out, denial, saying he’s crazy, but overtime he knew it was all real. And so off he goes on this journey, finds Qrow, and gets his cane. I am excited to see more of what he does in the future.

And so finally we come to Salem. Holy shit. There was a couple of times where Cinder was shown to be TERRIFIED of her, which makes sense, and it makes me wonder about her origin and how she got her, and how truly loyal she is to the cause, or is she just afraid like Roman was? One thing’s for sure, she hates the hell out of Ruby and has mastered the Maiden powers so I imagine some shit’s gonna go down with her next season. Maiden vs Silver Eyes. Also I’m still holding onto the theory that it’s possible Ruby is the summer maiden but I won’t make any conclusions on that just yet.

And finally, to the more technical aspects. I love the new look, it is fucking amazing. I wasn’t sure about it way way back when the first teaser image of the new renders were shown but I quickly fell in love with it. The music was on fucking point and I would have to go back to every episode to comment on all of it but form the finale at least I can say I noticed 2 great scores. Slowed down and instrumental versions of both Boop and Cold and they were fantastic.

Okay that’s all from me and it took like 2 hours and I think I lost track of my original intentions somewhere along the line but whatever

And I know no one will read this but fuck it I made it already too late to care about that now

#rwby #rooster teeth #rwby vol 4 #rwby spoilers

15 notes · View notes

flourishedandsunkissed · 7 years

Text

A Film for a Fool Who Dreams

Obviously La La Land has taken the world and awards season by storm. I’ve only gotten to see it once so far, but I smiled through nearly the whole film, even when I was crying. But this isn’t a review of La La Land, and it isn’t about Mia and Sebastian’s romantic relationship, this is an entry explaining what it means to me as a dreamer, an artist, and as a little suburban girl.

Quick thought that’s always on my mind: When we say “Hollywood” we’re usually using the synecdoche for the film industry. However, I see it as the film industry, the music industry, and television–reality and fiction. This is the system that either creates or manufactures celebrities.

I appreciated Mia and Sebastian’s deep investment in their respective aspects of Hollywood. Firstly because they’re able to teach other about what matters to them. Upon getting lost in San Francisco, my friend and I were discussing just that, film and music. He was teaching me about the intricacies of various genres and I shared with him what I think makes a film work. Additionally my brother has been trying to teach me about music my whole life. Some things I grasped and others I didn’t, but I appreciated being the student in someone’s passion. My brother doesn’t watch movies very often, but when he does I’m happy to engage in an enthusiastic dialogue. So simply, I can appreciate the dynamic because I’ve been a part of it and I think it’s realistic.

Secondly, they weren’t in it for the money. They weren’t looking for fame and wealth, that just became a benefit/detriment of pursuing their passions (well, I’m actually not sure if Sebastian was rich or famous in the LA area, but Seb’s seemed pretty popular). They were in it for the actual artistic value of their focus and the joy that it brought them. This is the way it should be. For the most part, I’ve been adamantly against the remakes and years-late sequels, and prequels studios have been spewing at consumers because they know they’ll do just that–consume the familiar. I’m not shaming you if you enjoy them, watch what you like. I’m shaming the studios for shunning creators of any age and background with big ideas and great stories to tell and opting for the get rich quick scheme that is piggybacking off of a story that was told well the first time and not even doing it justice. If you do care to end it though, stop watching those movies just because they’re there. The films I’m excluding from that tangent are those that have built a universe (Star Wars, Marvel, even DC, etc)–I don’t see them as exempt, but at least they’re working toward something. Even if it is about consumerism and capitalism to a degree, they’re bringing people joy and uniting nerds all over the planet! So back to the passion: that’s what should get anybody into it in the first place. That’s how you make good work. And honestly that’s what makes any effort worth it.

Thirdly, this was it for them. This was all they wanted. Deciding if sacrificing true love for your dreams is a different discussion that I’m not even sure of my stance on so I won’t go there. And I’m not saying having a back up plan is a cop-out, it’s a good idea. What I’m saying it wasn’t a hobby or a side hustle and then what do you know they made it! They didn’t settle. And I find that tremendously inspiring. We know it wasn’t without compromise or deciding at one point to give up, that’s more than realistic. And what’s even better is the support. Mia didn’t even want to go back to LA at first but Sebastian didn’t let her give up. And that’s what what kept it alive. She drove off on him and he crossed states to keep someone else’s dream alive. She endlessly supported him through his jazz dream even though it was her least favorite genre. I hope to have and to be that kind of friend.

And now to get specific with some songs…

Another Day of Sun Wowza. If you didn’t know already, by now you know I’m Californian. To open on a painfully crowded freeway was immediately hilarious because, again, it’s realistic here. Let me just add that this opening sequence is the most fantastic long take I have ever seen. Definitely a favorite of all time. The music itself makes me want to cry tears of joy because they’re stuck in the worst traffic ever and it’s so exuberant. I want to feel that way in traffic. Even more importantly: the lyrics. I’ve been on countless auditions. From Hollywood to my own campus. They’re awful. I’ve never had an experience as bad as Mia’s, but I’m sure her story is far from an exaggeration. I hate how they say “thank you” with no expression and look at you like Death when you’re giving it all your life. But this song. It encourages you not to fear rejection or take it as defeat. From the beginning it’s about following your dreams, being optimistic despite expressionless executives and endless auditions with no callbacks. It’s about getting back on your feet because the only way you’ll truly be defeated is if you give up on yourself. This is one of the toughest industries to break into and no one (without the advantage of marvelous connections) makes it on their first try.

City of Stars “City of stars / Just one thing everybody wants” Half the people you meet in Southern California want something to do with Hollywood. People from all over the world want something to do with Hollywood. That’s not a bad thing. I hope we all take it over and build it up to be what it should’ve been from the beginning. I want it, my friends want it, my brother and cousins want it. And just looking at LA driving in from the suburbs fills me and my friends with excitement from the beauty of the skyline and who we might overhear or see that day. It’s an interesting place. All the kids from the suburbs want to live in the city whether they want a piece of Hollywood or not just because we’re so bored with everything home lacks. So for me this song isn’t just about love and opportunity, but my love affair with LA and cities in general. Even though I’ve come to terms with the fact that I could never live in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Santa Monica, or probably even San Diego proper, their lights, their history, their food, their beauty still has me.

Audition (The Fools Who Dream) Where do I even start. I’m forever filled with overwhelming appreciation for this song. I felt the excitement with Mia when she started working on her one-woman show, the anxiety with her when she finally executed the show, her disappointment with the turn out and lack of Sebastian, her defeat upon returning home, her dejection with the statement, “maybe I’m not good enough,” and her nerves upon entering into this last audition. I’ll always remember how the guest speaker at my high school graduation unceasingly praised the STEM students and seemed to render the artistic students useless. That stupid, painful, insulting Wells Fargo campaign. And just the way America treats budding artists in general. I’m a film major right now and sometimes undermine myself by worrying about how “liberal” I’m being. A film major with a minor in Italian studies? And an unofficial emphasis in creative writing? All of my roommates are STEM majors and they lament how much easier school is for me and I joke saying, “It’s okay! Because you know what? You’ll get a job!” I am a bit afraid. I shouldn’t have to be. Freshman year the popular question is “What’s your major?” and I always winced a little before telling everyone else film. But they thought it was fantastic. People have been telling me for years, “Don’t forget me when you make it on the big screen” after seeing me perform or reading my writing and you’d be surprised at how afraid I am of letting them down. I unfortunately consider myself a bit of a fool because of the way the system treats my mind and how part of me has bought into it. But look at me, I’m still dreaming. And I love working with people who are too. We matter. I admire people in STEM and business, but that’s not all there is. If everyone went off to be a scientist, who would write the music that relieves your stress, motivates you, and brings you and your friends together? Who would create your endless hours of entertainment on the plethora of streaming services you spend your hard earned money subscribing to? We matter. Don’t treat us like fools then praise us years later for diverging. “She told me / A bit of madness is key / To give us new colors to sing / Who knows where it will lead us / And that’s why they need us / So bring on the rebels / The ripples from pebbles / The painters and poets and plays” I always remember that speech when I hear that part. It feels like a call to action. And I plan to mobilize.

Thank you to everyone that supports me, I appreciate you more than I can articulate. More importantly than remembering you “when I get to the big screen,” I’ll remember you whenever I dare think, “maybe I’m not good enough.”

To the public school system who tries to program us and the corporations who want us to be their robots and ignore our skills, to the studios that are running out of ideas on their own:

You need us. Don’t forget.

#writing #loves #la la land

1 note · View note