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#I honestly don’t know when I started going crazy in the tags
iluvmattsbeard · 2 days
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espresso 2 (m.s)
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master list
PART ONE!
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: mentions some sexual content but not crazy/swearing
preview: after that night Matt texts you saying he couldn’t get you off his mind, he repeatedly texted you everyday after that. he’s been begging for you guys to talk to each other in person. you agree and one thing led to another. leaving you confused with your feelings.
(IF YOU WANT TO BE ON MY TAG LIST, COMMENT ON MY MASTERLIST!)
a/n: here’s a part 2! - L 🤍
you wake up picking up your phone to see multiple texts from Matt. he was still pushing for answers after your response last night.
Matt
good morning Y/n!
i’m still curious about what you meant last night.
“is it that sweet?” what does that even mean?
you laugh to yourself while shaking your head.
Y/n
good morning Matt.
you’re going to keep bugging me about it huh?
your eyes widen as you see him instantly respond.
Matt
you know i am! you left me hanging.
Y/n
are you like on your phone anticipating my texts? how the fuck did you reply so fast?
Matt
like i said, you left me hanging. i deserve answers sweetheart.
you roll your eyes at the response, turning your phone off leaving him on read. you get up finally getting out of bed as you hear your phone buzz. you just ignore it and walk to the bathroom to start of your morning. when you were done, you walk back to your room to still hear buzzing. “Matt…” you groan to yourself. you pick up your phone to see not only texts but missed calls. another incoming call appears and you pick up. “what do you want Matt?” you ask standing with your one hand on your waist. “what ever happened to a hi or hello?” he says. “hi matt!” you say in a sarcastic enthusiastic tone. he chuckles before speaking, “sure i’ll take it.” “okay what do you want?” you say. you don’t know what encouraged him to all of the sudden blow up your phone. it’s been months since he ended things. “like i said last night, i miss you.” he says.
you stand there unamused by his response. “okay?” you say. “Y/n this is me trying.” he says. you let out a small laugh before responding, “try harder next time.” you hang up, going to his contact, muting his texts. you weren’t buying it honestly. you didn’t want to be one of the girls on his list even though you basically already were. you just continued your day ignoring all his messages.
that night, you decided to check his muted texts after getting ready for bed.
Matt
why did you hang up on me?
are you seriously going to ignore me?
hello Y/n? are you even getting these?
can you just PLEASE talk to me?
Y/n i can’t sleep like this.
texts after texts. it just kept going. did he really have nothing better to do? or is he really just good at keeping this act going?
after a few days, Matt has been constantly texting you still. he was still trying to get answers. he also has been sending you good morning and good night texts when you didn’t even ask for it. you woke up to him calling your phone as you place your hand on your face, with your eyes closed, while shaking your head before answering. “seriously Matt this is getting ridiculous.” you say tiredly. “good morning to you too. can you meet up with me today?”. he asks. you open your eyes as you look at the ceiling, “why should i?” you ask. “you should because i want to make things right with you. please just give it a chance and come over.” he pleads. “i can really smell the desperation through the phone.” you respond as you hear him laugh softly, “i’m trying here Y/n.” he says.
you think about it for a minute as he speaks up, “come on.” you shut your eyes sighing, “fine Matt. you better hope i don’t regret it.” you say hanging up. you instantly receive a text from him.
Matt
you wont regret it! 😊
you just shake your head while getting up to get ready for the long day ahead of you.
after you finish doing your makeup, you stare at yourself in the mirror sighing. “just give it a chance.” you whisper out. you walk out the bathroom door as you grab your car keys and phone heading out to your car. once you buckle in, you send him a text.
Y/n
on my way
Matt
be safe sweetheart
you smile a bit, stopping yourself as you realize. you put down your phone as you start to pull out your drive way. as you drive, you get a call from Madi. you answer as her voice goes through the speakers, “hey y/n! what you up to today?” should you tell her? i mean it’s only fair right? “you wouldn’t even believe it.” you mutter out as you stop at a red light. “what do you mean?” she asks confused. it stayed quiet a bit before she speaks up again, “don’t tell me you’re going to see him.” “how did you know?” you ask as the red light turns green. she responds, “i just got a text from Nick saying Matt told him you were on the way.” that blabber mouth. “he kept bugging me. i had no choice.” you say. Madi just sighs before responding, “you better know what you’re doing.” “trust me, i hope so.” you say pulling up in front of the triplets house.
you and Madi hang up as you text Matt saying you’re outside. as soon as you get out of the car, he immediately rushes outside. “hey y/n” he says with a smile. you shut your car door, locking it as you look at him, “hi matt.” you respond. you both walk inside the house as you greet Chris and Nick. Nick stares at you with a ‘what the fuck’ look. you just shrug and shake your head. Matt leads you to his room as you walk in sitting down on his bed. he shuts the door as he sits right next to you. he stares at you with admiration as you catch his eyes, “use your time wisely.” you say. “i’m glad you actually showed up.” he says with a smile. you just looked at him with a blank stare.
“i really miss you and i regret the way things played out.” he continues. you were looking into his eyes as you try to read his mind. was he being genuine? “you can regret all you want. you still aren’t proving to me why i should be here.” you respond. he sighs softly as he keeps eye contact with you, “i’m trying here Y/n. have my texts and calls meant nothing?” he says. “i see you’re trying but it still changes nothing that happened that night.” you say. “i know that but you can still try giving this a chance. a fresh start you know?” he says. you stare at him eventually looking away with no response. it stayed quiet for a bit before he speaks up, “what did you mean the night we started texting again?” you shake your head as you look at him, “you’re still on this?” you ask in a slight annoyance. he really won’t let it go. “of course i am. i still didn’t receive an answer.”
“what i meant was, my lips. are they that sweet that you miss them so much?” you ask as he lets a small smile appear on his face. “i don’t know is it?” he says making you shrug. “is it?” you respond. he shrugs before responding, “i don’t know it’s been a while. i need a refresher.” “so you’re telling me you’ve been over here saying you missed my everything but apparently don’t even remember the way i kiss?” you say with a blank stare. he just looks into your eyes as you both sat there. after a bit of silence, you felt yourself being pulled in by his gaze.
don’t do it Y/n. don’t give in you thought to yourself. “can i kiss you sweetheart?” he whispers looking deep into your eyes. with no surprise, you two were attached at the lips as he kissed you with anticipation. you can tell he’s been desperately waiting for this. your arms wrap around his neck as the kiss gets deeper. he runs his hands down to your waist as he smiles a bit between kisses. one thing led to another and you both ended up naked in his sheets. “fuck Y/n. i missed you so much.” he moans out as he pulls out and releases on your stomach. after he cleans you both up, you laid your head on his chest as he rubs your back. you both ended up drifting to sleep.
the next morning you open your eyes to see Matt’s arms wrapped around you. “shit.” you thought to yourself. you laid there as you stared at the snoring boy as you continue to think to yourself, “you are so stupid Y/n.” you try to sit up without waking him up. you pick up his arm softly, moving it off you. still sleeping, he turns around as he still has his eyes shut. you get up and start to put on your clothes quietly. you zip up your pants and look at him one last time. he looked so cute snuggled in the covers. you shake your head at the thought as you walk out the door slowly, closing the door behind you quietly.
as you walk out you were met with Nick. “what the fuck?!” he whisper yells. “what?” you ask quietly. “you slept with him?!” he again whisper yells. you sigh as you shake your head, “it was a mistake.” you say. he just shakes his head as well, “Y/n you know what he did to you.” he says as you nod slowly. “you’re right. i got to go before he wakes up.” you say heading out.
little did you know, Matt was awake when you left. he was laying on his side as he opens his eyes thinking to himself, “why would she just leave like that?” he was left there in his thoughts. he eventually got up and walks out his bedroom. he met eyes with Nick. Nick’s face was filled with disappointment. “did she say anything?” Matt asks. “nope she didn’t. you better get your shit together Matt. she’s my friend now. i don’t need you messing things up.” he says walking to his room. Matt just stands there sighing.
Matt
hey why’d you leave without saying anything?
you look at your phone and you shut it off after seeing the text. it was a mistake… right? he continued to call and text for the next few days. all you did was ignore him each time.
Matt
Y/n please answer me.
i’ve never felt this way before. it’s driving me crazy.
secretly, it was driving you crazy too. you still had the repeating thought in your head, “he had me but he took advantage of it.” but deep down you also wanted to trust his words. i mean he has been texting and calling like crazy… or was it desperation? your mind was flooded with thoughts. when you laid down in bed, you wrapped yourself with the blanket as you shut your eyes. even though you tried to sleep, you couldn’t. you forced your eyes shut as you see Matt’s face pop up in your mind. you open your eyes quickly as you sit up. you needed to get him off your mind but the next few nights, you were kept wide awake still at the thought of him.
Y/n’s POV
fuck off! don’t tell me i’m in this position now. it was just one time and i haven’t even texted him ever since. i’ve been up all night, every night, trying to get him off my mind and i just can’t. i pick up my phone as i see a few texts sent from him earlier.
Matt
like i said Y/n, it’s driving me crazy.
i know you be on your phone.
i literally just saw you text Nick.
my fingers hover above the keyboard as i bit my lip softly. “don’t do it Y/n…” i thought to yourself. of course, i didn’t take a while to cave in.
Y/n
i can’t sleep.
my eyes widen a bit as i see him reply quickly.
Matt
hey Y/n. what’s going on?
Y/n
these past few nights i haven’t been able to sleep.
Matt
what’s been on your mind sweetheart?
i hesitate before typing out what i’m about to send. i better not regret this.
Y/n
you’ve been on my mind.
you’ve been keeping me up all night.
every single fucking night now.
how fucking ironic huh?
Matt’s POV
i instantly grew a smile on my face as i see her recent text. i’m glad she finally came around.
Matt
me too Y/n. maybe it’s a sign!
Y/n
don’t get too excited.
i let out a small laugh at her response. i hover my fingers above the keyboard as i grin.
Matt
well, is it that sweet? lol 😊
i let out a laugh at my own text.
Y/n
i will literally press the block button Matt.
Matt
DON’T DO THAT
YOU KNOW I JUST HAD TO SAY IT
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a/n: I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS! was giggling to myself lol. - L 🤍 (let me know what you think!)
tags!
@jnkvivi @hesvoid34 @chrissturniolosbitch @ivonchetooo1239 @sturniolosarethebest @iwrites-things @TB101404 @sturnstvr
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atlabeth · 2 days
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now that the dust has cleared from the chaos for me irl, i want to officially thank you all for 3000 followers!! because wow. where do i even start?
this isn't a milestone i thought i would ever reach. i made this blog during my junior year of high school when i was bored as hell in online school, not knowing what would come of it, and honestly not expecting anyone to read anything i’ve written. i exclusively wrote avatar fics (kind of embarrassing that a series i started at the beginning of my blog still isnt finished huh?) because it was what i had been watching most recently. i started to gain some recognition, made some friends, and slowly but surely i carved out my little corner of the internet. and now, 3 years, 3000 followers, and almost 500,000 words later, i’m going into my junior year of college with some of the best online friends a girl could ask for (shoutout to my day 1 @simplysolo for still being around and still being the best ever, and shoutout to all my other tumblr friends that have deactivated over the years</3 i miss you guys) a whole array of fandoms that i’ve dabbled in, and a newly discovered thing for middle aged men. cool 
i truly cannot thank you all enough. i’ve always been a writer, but this blog has given me a sorely needed creative outlet and made me more confident in my writing skills than ever. at the end of the day i’m just writing silly little x reader fics, but i’ve truly had so much fun doing it! every single fictional man im in love with is also in love with me isn’t that crazy!!!
a special, extended shoutout to the loveliest mutuals i’ve picked up over the years. i wouldn’t be half the writer i am and i wouldn’t have half as much fun on here without you all. @simplysolo for being around since the beginning and truly being the greatest person on this app, i love you intensely, @sokkadora for being another one of my ogs (we dont talk anymore but i see you every so often on my dash and you’re doing great!!) @mcallmestiles for being one of the first avatar fics i ever read, traitor encouraged me to be a better writer and i hope you’re doing well with your medical career!! @tangledinlove for being my most famous mutual, the kindest person in the world, and being brought together through the power of lockwood, @giyuji and @milkiane who are both inactive but who i have to tag because i love them and i hope they’re doing well; naomi you got me into the grishaverse and liane we were in the trenches of the stranger things revival together, @boneblushed for dealing with so much but still being phenomenal and lovely in every way, @tommymcartney for being so sweet all the time, my biggest cheerleader and encouraging my insanity in every fandom ive been a part of, @nghtwngs for being the only person who loses it over nikolai lantsov as much as i do, to all my new/more recent mutuals @hotchfiles @ma1dita @moowithmidnight @emiliehornby @supercutszns i can't wait to get to know or keep getting to know you!!! you're all so lovely!!! and all the mutuals i don’t talk to as much as i should, i love you all and cherish you in my heart regardless of if we talk every day or have never said a single word to each other!! i don’t want to tag you all because i don’t want to bother you, but if you’re looking at this and thinking am i talking about you, i am. i love you. it takes a village and im so lucky to have you all as mine 
i can’t believe it’s been 3 years, i can’t believe i’m halfway done with college, and i can’t believe we hit 3,000. truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for reading my fics and letting me be some small part of your lives. i can’t wait to write more for you all. keep a lookout for my 3k celebration post! 
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rosicheeks · 1 year
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Why do you reply to everything in the tags? Just curious. You do you. Just wondering what your reasoning is
😂
#first of all I love the you do you comment 😂😂😂#okayyyyyyy I’m pretty sure I’ve explained this before#but for any of my new followers that might not know my reasoning - here we goooooooo#first of all - my brain is very very scattered and I think random thoughts sometimes so it’s super easy to just jot down shit in tags#also - I hate grammar and punctuation - and for tags I don’t have to deal with commas or periods or any of that shit#cause usually when I type something out I second guess myself a billion times and I convince myself that it doesn’t make sense and delete it#I honestly don’t know when I started going crazy in the tags#I remember when I would just kinda talk in the tags and then people mentioned how they liked reading my thoughts#so I eventually started writing novels in the tags (and usually hitting the 30 tag limit hahahah)#like if I wrote all of this up there I’d have to figure out what goes first and how to properly connect it all#here I could be talking about this and in the next tags#talking about some super random shit and then I somehow loop back to what I was talking about#my mind is a very weird place my dude and I think tags are the only place I feel truly comfy#I also kinda convinced myself early on that no one reads my tags#you have to click the ‘see more’ to actually read all my tags and I thought most people would give up once they saw how much I typed#but then that turned out very wrong cause I would get asks about how much they love my tags#and I’d be like ohhhhhhhh 😬😬😬😬😬😬 people actually read this#and then I decided I don’t give a shit cause my blog is for me and me only and if you follow/read that’s on you#I feel like I’m missing other reasons but those are my main ones#I’ve always felt like the tags are me talking to myself - just trying to get my thoughts in order#like I said - if you read that’s on you buddy 😂😂😂😂#hope this explains it a little bit#((also I like to think I’m the tag queen thanks 😇😂)#ask#anon
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catastrxblues · 4 months
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good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night
#atonement#next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that#i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit#so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes#should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this#i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help#and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all#i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig#and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them#i just started crying again#and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on#i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore#besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something#i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently#still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it#and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive#and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better#i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot#damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off#also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly#it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning#but i miss it now#hopefully my period will end soon#nadirants
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quin-ns · 1 year
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Neighborhood Dilf (Joel Miller x Reader)
Word count: 2.7K
Summary: joel finds out he has a nickname and he asks you what it means
Tags: pre-outbreak this is a happy fic guys!! I didn’t specify a year but let’s put it at 2000 for funsies so sarah is like 11 and joel is like 30ish. also fluff, humor, flirting, age gap, goofy plot (I don’t know what this is honestly), joel being the definition of a dilf and not knowing it, crushes, overall cuteness. also suburbia
A/N: I saw a tiktok where someone said they just knew joel was the neighborhood dilf and they were so real for that I had to write it. and no I don’t care that the word was popularized online we’re using it here. I’m here to provide a cute fluffy fanfic not a historically accurate one lol. also sorry if your name is bee, I tried to come up with a name for the friend that was a nickname so if it was someone’s actual name they could just imagine their full name (I overthink)
cross-posted to ao3 • tlou masterlist • main masterlist
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The loud music coming from outside woke you up from your afternoon nap. After spending a semester at college struggling to find even an hour of sleep, you were taking as many of those as possible. You were a little grouchy at first as you threw your covers off and stormed to your window, but quickly calmed down when you realized it was the annual block party your neighborhood hosted during the summer.
You’d gotten an in-person invite from Bee, another girl home from college who you’d been friends with in high school before going your separate ways. You still kept in touch since she was nice enough, which is how you found out her family was hosting this year. She’d confided in you personally that she would quote “go crazy if it was all kids and old people.”
As you looked out into their front yard, which was diagonal to yours, you saw that’s pretty much all it was. Since you were such a good friend, you decided that you’d go. 
You were getting dressed (at a leisurely pace) when your phone started to ring. You picked it up from your desk after you pulled your pink sundress on and flipped it open. The caller ID read Bee’s name and you answered, ready to tell her you were on your way.
“He’s here,” she said, sounding mistified, before you could even open your mouth. 
“Who?” you wondered, furrowing your brows a little to yourself as you went to the window.
“The neighborhood dilf,” Bee replied under her breath. 
The nickname made you laugh. It reminded you of high school. It had started as a joke, something you had started calling the new guy who’d moved into the neighborhood with his daughter a few years back. Later you found out his name was Joel Miller, but the nickname spread like wildfire to all the other girls in the neighborhood and it just stuck. 
Everyone knew about it; the girls of course, their confused parents, jealous boys who thought Joel was stealing their attention—the only person who wasn't aware of the moniker (as far as you knew) was Joel. Well, you hoped his daughter didn’t know either. Thankfully, after time, everyone forgot that you had started it. It was a bit embarrassing.
You walked away from the window to your closet and slid on your flip flops—it was summer in Texas, after all.
“You need to get over here, Y/N—what?” the last word sounded distant from the phone. “Yeah, she’s supposed to be on her way,” Bee replied, but to someone else.
“Um, hello?” you asked, waiting.
Bee was quiet for a few seconds, then whisper shouted into the phone, “you’ll never guess what just happened!”
“Let me guess, Joel just walked up and professed his love for you,” you teased, laughing at your own joke. “What, were my parents asking for me or something?” you guessed for real that time, recalling the small bit you had heard her say.
“Unfortunately no, and also no,” she sounded a little too disappointed about the first part, which made you chuckle again. “He did just ask me about you though.”
“Who?”
“The dilf.”
“Just use his name,” you told her with a roll of your eyes, heading out of your room to the stairs. “Wait.” You stopped for a second. “Joel asked about me?” 
“Yeah. I changed my mind, you’re not invited.”  If it wasn’t for her obvious sarcasm you might’ve thought she was serious. “He heard me say your name and asked if you’d be here soon. I—hey!” she yelled, causing you to pull the phone from your ear for a second. You continued your descent down the stairs as she yelled something about ‘kids’ and ‘stay out of there’. “I gotta go,” she said suddenly, then hung up.
You just shook your head with a small, amused smile and left your phone on the counter. Stupid dress and no pockets. 
You headed out the front door and walked across the street towards the party. 
It was in full swing. Music, games, food table—it looked like something out of a magazine. The Grants had a huge front yard—it was one of the nicer houses in the neighborhood—and it seemed like everyone was there. There were kids running around, adults all mingling—some sitting at the fold out tables, others walking around, others chasing their kids—there was also a group of dads surrounding the grill. You glanced that way and didn’t see Joel. You wondered where he was and if you should find him, but Bee found you first.
“The kids aren’t supposed to go inside alone and two of those little jerks went into my room,” Bee complained right away, straightening out her white blouse over her jean shorts. Her pinned back brown hair was a little messy, though. You wondered what happened, which she quickly answered. “I saw them jumping on my bed through the window.”
“Sounds like fun,” you commented sarcastically. Bee looped her arm through yours. 
“My dad set up ring toss and it’s all little kids, I don’t wanna be the only adult playing. Come on.” She dragged you along in that direction and you willingly went with.
You saw a few kids from the neighborhood playing, mostly the preteens who were too old for hopscotch but whose parents had told them they weren't old enough for the mini golf (one of the boys had overshared that little comment). 
“Y/N!” a girl's voice called. You looked that way and saw Sarah Miller walking towards you. A few days out of the week when her dad was working late, you’d go over to their house and keep an eye on her (before you left for college). It was the easiest babysitting gig you ever had; she was polite, always did her school work, and hardly caused any problems. Her dad had raised her very well. 
She looked older than you remembered her being, but you had been gone for both fall and spring semesters—well, you had been home for winter break briefly, but not enough to see anyone other than your parents.
“Sarah, hi!” you greeted, accepting the hug she offered when she got close. “How are you?”
“Good!” she said with a smile. “Are you guys gonna play with us?” she asked you and Bee. “I keep beating them and it’s not fun anymore.” 
You and Bee both laughed at that. “Sure, why not.”
“It feels weird playing with her after talking about how hot her dad is,” Bee whispered in your ear when Sarah went first. “You think he’ll come over here?”
“And what would you do if he did?” you challenged while hiding a chuckle, raising your brows at her.
“Um, probably nothing,” she admitted, cheeks a little pink. “He’s fun to look at though.” 
You hummed. “You’re not wrong.” 
The two of you played a few rounds of ring toss, although Bee got very bored quickly. “Can we go get some drinks?” she asked after not that long of playing.
“Sure,” you decided. You waved bye to Sarah and the others as the two of you walked off towards the cooler.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed some of the other girls in the neighborhood that hadn’t been in attendance before. For a couple that you knew, it didn’t seem like their scene. 
“What are they doing here?” you asked Bee.
“I may or may not have also told them the neighborhood dilf was here. They, uh, wanted to… see him,” she answered, avoiding eye contact.
You raised your brows in slight disbelief. “Are you serious?” 
“I wanted more people our age here,” Bee defended. “I wasn’t sure if you were even gonna show.”
You scoffed out a laugh. “You’re ridiculous,” you told her.
You reached the cooler and knelt down. You handed Bee a water, but she didn’t accept it. You looked up at her.
“Keep an eye out for the dilf, I haven’t seen him in a while. I’ll be right back,” Bee told you, taking off before you could say anything. You guessed the bathroom given her speed walking inside.
You laughed a little to yourself as you stood back up. You kept the water for yourself. You looked out amongst the crowd, realizing you were now on your own while everyone was in groups. You saw a couple people you were friends with and thought of maybe going up and joining them, but someone else spotted you first.
Joel Miller, the aforementioned neighborhood dilf, was walking towards you. Bee would be jealous, especially if she knew you and Joel were actually friends.
You had thought about telling Bee and some of the other girls that you were friends with Joel, given how much they just loved to gossip about him (how he was still single, how he looked really good in his pajamas getting the mail, that one time he took his shirt off while mowing the lawn—that was a big day) but then you thought better of it, not wanting to be run out of town by a jealous mob.
You were already getting glances by the time Joel stopped by your side so maybe your humbleness was pointless.
“Saw you all alone, thought I’d come keep you company,” Joel broke the ice with ease.
How long had he been watching you? The thought made your cheeks feel warm.
“Wow, what a gentleman,” you teased lightly, causing Joel to chuckle.
“I try,” he joked back, shooting you a small wink.
When you had first met Joel you were nervous around him. It was much easier to talk to him now that the two of you had become friends rather than acquaintances. He was an easy guy to get along with and you found yourself genuinely enjoying his company rather than just gawking at him in his yard from your window (like you used to do in high school). Your crush hadn’t disappeared though, so you joked around with him as a way to keep things casual and avoid getting in your own head. 
“Sarah told me you were finally here, she was happy to see you,” Joel mentioned with a light smile.
That made you smile back. “She’s a sweet kid,” you told him. “I was happy to see her too.”
You fiddled with the water bottle in your hand as you spoke, trying to unscrew the cap. The stupid thing was stuck and after a few seconds you gave up.
Joel gave you an amused look, glancing between your face and hands. “You want help with that?”
“Yes, please,” you handed it to him. “There you go again, proving chivalry isn’t dead. Thank you.”
Joel unscrewed the cap with ease and handed it back. “Happy to be at your service.”
“So, you guys been here a while?” you asked, sparking up conversation.
“Not too long, only an hour or so. It’s been fun though,” Joel explained. “More for Sarah than for me,” he admitted, glancing around to find his daughter. He spotted her and she waved, then continued playing with her friends.
“Why’s that?” you wondered, looking up at him just as he looked down at you. 
“Just… I mean, everyone is nice and all,” he started. “But I just feel like I got nothin’ to talk about with them, y’know? Except you.”
“Really?” You tried to not sound too thrown off by that, but you didn’t know he felt like that. It was interesting to say the least. 
“Is that such a surprise?” he wondered, raising an eyebrow curiously.
You shrugged. “Maybe a little. I get it though, I haven’t really talked to anyone other than Bee yet.”
“I don’t know if you’re friends with them, but I saw a bunch of girls your age walking around,” Joel said as a suggestion. 
“Nah, I’d rather just talk to you,” you said casually, before you could even think about what you had said. The look on Joel’s face changed a little, like he was trying to bite back a bigger smile.
“Well, that’s nice to hear,” he said after a moment. Your eyes met his and the way he looked at you made your heart skip a beat. You had to look away to be able to breathe, almost certain you were reading into things. You really, really did not want to be disappointed.
“Hey, can I ask you something?” Joel said, making you realize you hadn’t spoken yet.
“Sure, yeah.”
“You know… young person lingo, don't you?”
You laughed at the awkward wording. If it had been any of the other adults here using the word “lingo” you would’ve cringed, but there was something cute about the way Joel said it. You tried to snap that thought out of your head.
“Mostly, yeah,” you replied with a little chuckle paired with a curious tone. “What’s up?”
“Do you know what a dilf is?” he asked bluntly. That alone told you he had no idea. 
You were so stunned, all you could think to say was, “why?”
“Well, those girls I mentioned… I overhead some of them calling me that,” he explained, his eyebrows furrowing a little. “It’s not bad, is it?” 
Was this karma coming back to you for starting the nickname? It wouldn’t have surprised you. 
“It’s not bad, no,” you assured while also avoiding the main question.
“What is it then?” Joel’s interest was piqued now and while you couldn’t blame him, you also couldn’t think of a way to make this not weird.
“It’s an acronym,” you started. Joel watched you intently, waiting for an explanation. “It means dad I’d like to…” you trailed off, hinting at him the word to fill in the blank.
Joel just looked even more confused. “To what?”
Somehow he made cluelessness incredibly attractive.
Screw it, you thought. This was already weird. Rip the bandaid off, right? “Fuck,” you finished before you could think better of it. 
“Oh,” he stated. You knew it took a second for realization to hit. “Oh. So that means they, um,”
“It’s basically like saying you’re hot,” you explained, filling in when he couldn’t. You hoped he wouldn’t find it insulting or anything like that.
Joel looked a little bashful but found amusement in the situation nonetheless. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should,” you suggested, then sipped your water. You looked out at the people milling about rather than meeting his gaze.
“Do you think I’m one?”
You nearly choked on your water. “What?”
“Sorry,” Joel apologized quickly, trying to laugh it off. “I shouldn't've asked that.”
“It’s alright,” you assured him. You paused for a minute, contemplating what you might say to that. You got a rush of bravery. “If you’re asking if I think you’re attractive… the answer is yes.”
Joel couldn’t hold back his smile. He tried, but it was a failed effort. It was like he was trying to contain his anticipation. “What about if I wanted to ask you out? What would your answer be then?”
“Yes.”
Joel grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that,” he admitted. 
“Dad!” Sarah’s voice caused the two of you to look away from one another. You saw her running up to you guys and hoped she hadn’t heard a word of your conversation. “Can you come play with me? Mr. Grant just set up a bean bag toss!” 
“Sure, kiddo,” he told her. She grabbed his hand and started to drag him away. 
You smiled a little to yourself at the interaction—he was such a good dad.
Joel slowed her down a little bit to look back at you. “I’ll call you later, okay?” 
“Sounds good,” you replied, chuckling lightly. 
The Millers disappeared into the roaming people. You tried to follow them with your gaze but your attention got torn away.
“Waiting in a line for the bathroom in my own house is messed up,” Bee said, popping out seemingly out of nowhere. “What’s got you so happy?” she wondered, eyeing the smile on your face that couldn’t be erased.
“You won’t believe what just happened,” you replied. A part of you still couldn’t believe it. “I’ve got a date with the neighborhood dilf.”
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joel taglist: @the-ice-frozen-ground-red-rose @dontphunkwithmylove @cilliansangel @amethystwonders11 @frogsmuahh037 @andy-rocks @melllinaa @alitaar @melanie451 @b00kw0rmsworld @reverieisaway @avengersfan25 @aheadfullofsteverogers @strangeh0rizons @spideysimpossiblegirl @shannonmariebee
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bluebeary-jay · 7 months
Text
Be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me)
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Neighbor!Joel Miller x f!Reader
Summary: you and Joel have been neighbors for a while but despite your mutual interest in one another, you never crossed this line. until, after one tense situation, Joel slips up (based on this wonderful request!)
Tags: friends to lovers, love confessions, fluff and angst, Joel is your sexy neighbor you shamelessly drool over, also his toolbelt is an important character in the fic (don't judge me)
Warnings: angst, 'nice guy' alert 🙄, attempted assault (stopped by Joel), some nsfw content but not actual smut (yar girl is gettin there 😌)
Word count: 6.2K
A/N: hiiii my darlings!! sorry for the wait, i know it's been a long time but life was crazy. here's sth i've been workin for a looong time and honestly i stared at it for so long i no longer know if i'm proud of it or not 🙈 anyway, i really hope you guys will like it and as always, happy reading!! 💕
“I really don’t know how to thank you, Joel. This is incredible.”
Joel watched, slightly embarrassed, as you walked around the table with a wide, bright smile. You gripped one of the legs – the one that was previously crookedly attached and broke down when you put something heavier on the counter – and tested its stability. After a successful inspection you looked up at him.
“You’re a lifesaver.”
“Nah, nothin’ of the sort.” He waved his hand, feeling a big lump in his throat when you directed that pretty smile of yours at him. “M’just glad I could help.”
“You didn’t have to fix this, too, though.” You brushed the edge of the table which Joel sanded so you wouldn’t get a splinter from the rough surface. His eyes followed your fingertips before he coughed.
“Didn’t want you to hurt yourself. This side was practically smashed up, after all…”
“Still, I didn’t even need to ask you.” You shook your head in thoughts before glancing at him with gratitude. “Thanks again.”
“You really gotta stop thankin’ me.” Joel started to gather his things into the toolbox and wiped his palms on his pants (certainly not because they were slick with sweat). “It was a piece of cake.”
“But, you know.” You tilted your head to the left and right, scrunching your nose playfully, and it was so fucking adorable that Joel thought his heart was going to give out. “You already fixed the sink in my kitchen, that hole in the wall, my door, and now my table… Are you sure I’m not leeching off your generosity?”
A half-smile found its place on Joel’s face, and he shook his head with a chuckle. “M’sure. It’s only fair since we’re neighbors, sweet girl.”
Sweet girl.
Joel never knew if he wasn’t crossing the line by calling you that. You never gave any sign of discomfort or disgust when he did, but he also recognized that regardless of your reaction, he should stop. He couldn’t deny that his old heart harbored an embarrassingly big crush on you – after all, you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on – but it wasn’t right to think about you in that way.
If he only knew that every time he let those words of endearment slip, your heart started to do crazy somersaults.
Joel Miller was an extremely handsome man, there was no denying that. And with his deep drawl, the salt-and-pepper hair, the warm, brown eyes and that dangerous smirk he sometimes sent in your direction… it was no wonder you fell for him.
It also didn’t help that he was so kind, always ready and eager to help you with the smallest inconvenience. Sometimes it made you want to smash something in your house yourself, just to have an excuse for him to come over again and for you to be able to watch him work.
But you weren’t that desperate, yet. Yet.
Your daydreaming was rudely interrupted by a series of knocks on your front door. Both your heads snapped in the direction of the sound, but when you recognized the familiar pattern of it, your mood dampened in an instant.
Joel noticed the change in your expression, of course, and immediately stood up, leaving the toolbox on the floor.
“What is it?” he asked with a hint of alert in his gruff voice, but you shook your head.
“It’s nothing. Don’t go yet, okay? I’ll be right back.”
You exited the room before he could ask another question, and Joel furrowed his brows. He stayed rooted in spot, listening to your heavy step as you walked to the door and opened it. And then… he heard a male voice that started to say something to you.
Joel couldn’t help but grind his teeth as he finished gathering his stuff, ready to go back home. It was the second time that some man came to visit you while you had him over, and the bitterness he felt in his mouth was even more noticeable than on the previous occasion.
He knew you were quite popular in Jackson, especially with boys your age. There was always someone offering to buy you a drink or dance whenever you went out with your friends, and once Joel had to even step in when two drunk guys kept pestering you. But as much as it pained him, some of those men who showed genuine interest in you were quite nice. And good-looking.
And a lot younger than him.
He knew very well that he was too old for you. He knew that he shouldn’t fantasize about sharing a life with you, and that thinking of any form of intimacy between you and him was making him a big old creep, but no matter how many times he swore to himself it’ll be the last, he could not stop. You were just so beautiful, so sweet and so nice…
He saw your smiling face when he went to bed late at night, and imagined your body beside him when he woke up early in the morning. He looked at your house on his way to work and wondered if you were eating breakfast already, taking a shower or still sleeping peacefully amidst the many blankets he saw once on your bed. He felt a rush of energy and endorphins every time you knocked on his door, asking him to help you with something, and it only enhanced his already existent protectiveness toward you.
Suddenly, Joel heard a raised male voice from the porch, which instantly got his guard up. He quickly followed the sound, and upon rounding the corner he saw you trying to close the door on Jack, a boy he recognized but never talked to. He saw him a couple of times at the bar, though he wasn’t one of those bothering you and never seemed to give anyone any trouble.
Still, you looked really uncomfortable, so when your and Joel’s eyes met, he nodded reassuringly and took his place in front of you.
“Is somethin’ the matter?” he asked dryly. The sight of him took Jack aback and he opened his mouth, looking lost for a good moment. Joel raised his eyebrows, and the young man cleared his throat.
“Nothing at all. We were just chattin’.” Then Jack looked over Joel’s shoulder at you, completely ignoring the other man. “What the fuck is Miller doing in your house, anyway?”
You stammered, but Joel kept his cool, leaning against the doorframe casually. Jack was tall and well-built, but still smaller than Joel, and he made use of this fact to intimidate the boy to the extreme.
“Mr Miller is helpin’ her with the sink that needs fixin’,” Joel answered instead with a pang of irritation. “And you’re kinda interruptin’.” Jack didn’t move, and Joel clenched his jaw. “Scurry. Now.”
The boy huffed, murmuring something under his breath before he bid you a grudging adieu. Joel shut the door behind him with more force than he intended and took a second to calm his breathing before turning back to you.
“Sorry if that was too harsh–”
“No, don’t apologize.” You sighed tiredly and went to the living room, plopping down on the couch. “It’s okay. Maybe he’ll back off a little.”
Joel bit the inside of his cheek, wondering if he should ask the question that was gnawing at him mercilessly.
“Are…” he started, and you lifted your head. “I mean, are you two…”
“No!” you quickly answered, blushing a little to Joel’s surprise. “No, no, nothing of the sort. He asked me out and I told him I’m not interested, but he still tries to…” You waved your arm in the direction when he saw the youngster last. “I don’t know, convince me?”
Joel sat down next to you, clasping his hands together. “Well… if he ever gives you any trouble, you lemme know, alrigh’?”
A small smile spread across your face when you tilted your head to look at him.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Then a playful glint appeared in your eyes, and your smile turned mischievous. “...Mr Miller.”
A breathless laugh escaped Joel, and he dragged his hand over his face, praying that he managed to stifle a groan wanting to escape his chest. He shook his head to regain some clarity, but could still feel all the blood in his body rushing down. It didn’t help that your couch was too small, and your knees were touching – though Joel couldn’t tell if it happened when he sat down or a little bit later.
Fuck.
“Shut up,” he just murmured, not looking at you in fear you’ll see what your words did to him. “I tried to make him leave quicker.”
“And he did. And I think you deserve a reward for your help.”
You stood up and for a second Joel panicked. A reward, you said.
He couldn’t help the images that flooded his brain in that moment – of you on your knees in front of him, or bent over the table he just fixed. His eyes went to your thighs, and his own flexed involuntary when he envisioned how you’d feel underneath him, what sweet sounds he could coax out of you, how soft your skin would be in those places you kept covered…
But then you walked past him, and he snapped out of the naughty daydreams.
“Wh-where are you goin’?” he asked, his voice strained, and you looked over your shoulder with an oblivious smile.
“I made a cake this morning. I’m gonna bring you a piece, yeah?”
You didn’t wait for an answer, and just left the room with pep in your step.
Joel groaned and let his head fall back, covering the redness of his cheeks with his hands.
Idiot.
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Almost two weeks have passed since the last time you asked for his help with something, and surprisingly, Joel was okay with that. After that embarrassment he experienced in his own mind, he told himself that it would be prudent to distance himself from you for a little bit. At least until he could act normally around you.
He still thought about you constantly, that he couldn’t help. Every time he saw you in town he instantly felt lighter, but so very often you were accompanied by another man – and no matter if you seemed comfortable with the attention or not, Joel always had this urge to come over and protect you from any unwanted suitors.
He was being ridiculous, he knew that. You didn’t like him the way he liked you, and even if he somehow grew a pair and told you about his feelings, a pretty and young girl like you would never be interested in someone who could be her father’s age.
The thought of you thinking of him as a father figure churned up his guts, making him feel sick. Jesus Christ.
But it still did nothing to weaken his infatuation, and when you finally knocked on his door again, asking if he could fix the rack in your room, he didn’t even hesitate before agreeing.
So here you both were. Joel, looking at the problem at hand, and you, looking at (none-the-wiser) Joel.
“S’nothin’ big,” he finally said after some examination. “I’ll replace the shelf and reaffix it to the wall better. Shouldn’t take long.”
You nodded, but truthfully you were only half-listening. The sight of Joel in your bedroom was far too distracting.
It’s been so long since Joel was a guest in your house – well, only a couple of weeks tops – but you missed seeing him in your private space. Though one could say, he never truly left with how often you thought about him.
So maybe that’s why you were so shameless with your staring.
His broad shoulders were to die for, and you bit your lip absentmindedly as your eyes wandered across his muscular back and forearms, usually hidden under the sleeves. You knew you shouldn’t be ogling your neighbor who was nice enough to lend you a helping hand whenever you needed, but… well, a little admiring wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?
And there was a lot to admire.
“You listenin’ to me?”
The brutal wake-up call of his voice pulled you out of your thoughts, making you blush wildly and your body hot with embarrassment at being caught staring.
Okay, maybe it would hurt someone.
“Y-yeah,” you stuttered, feeling your whole neck heating up rapidly. “Uh-huh. I understand.”
Joel’s lips stretched into a lopsided smile, and he turned to face you fully.
“I asked if you have some nails in the house,” he repeated, not breaking eye contact. If you allowed yourself to be delusional, you’d say his voice sounded almost… flirtatious. But that was probably only your head telling you what you wanted to hear.
“Yeah…” you breathed distractedly, but then shook your head quickly. “I mean, no. No, I don’t.”
Joel smirked, stepping closer to you and making you swallow heavily. Your gaze once again dropped to his strong arms, down to his big hands and… fuck. He had his thumbs hooked in his tool belt, already hanging low on his waist, and it made him look so ridiculously hot.
Lord have mercy.
“What got ya so distracted, sweet girl?”
Have fuckin’ mercy.
“Nothing!” you said, a bit louder than you intended, crossing your arms over your chest to do something with this splitting tension in your body. “I was just looking at… the shelf.”
Joel’s eyebrows shot upright. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he didn’t believe you. “The shelf,” he repeated blankly, and you nodded, trying to appear calm despite feeling like you were going to burst into flames if he kept looking at you like that. But then Joel chuckled, and his eyes turned as warm as always. “M’only teasin’. Stop lookin’ so scared.”
“I’m not–” you started, but your lips also spread into a grin when you saw his genuine smile. “God, you’re insufferable. Will you fix it or not?”
“So demandin’,” Joel mused, shaking his head and walking out of the room. “I’m gonna go get the nails from my house. Be right back.”
You whispered under your breath something he didn’t hear, but it made him smile to himself nonetheless.
It was so easy to slip back into this playful banter with you, Joel thought as he made his way back home. Maybe things between you two won’t be as awkward anymore (though he was aware all this awkwardness was his fault), and he could go back to being your friend.
No matter that he wished he could be something more. No, it wasn’t right to think that way. What you two had was enough.
Still, as he looked for those damn nails, he couldn’t get out of his mind the way that adorable blush spread across your face. And how your eyes lingered on his figure when he looked at you. But no, surely he was only imagining things.
…right?
Joel sighed, closing the door behind him and going back toward your house, his thoughts already on the best way to fix that shelf of yours and maybe stabilize it a bit more, because by the look of how it hung on the wall, it was only a matter of time until he’ll have to visit again.
Or maybe he’ll leave it be. Only to have an extra excuse to see you sooner rather than later.
He rolled his eyes at his own musings, but the train of his thoughts abruptly stopped when he saw your front door slightly opened. He slowed down, wondering if you went after him… but no, there was no sign of you anywhere, and he was pretty sure he closed it on his way out.
And then he heard a faint sound of glass shattering.
Joel’s mind went completely blank. In a blink of an eye he stormed into the house, his survival instincts formed over the last twenty years kicking in and screaming for him to find you, to make sure you’re safe and unharmed.
But your bedroom was empty and when Jeol yelled your name, no one answered him. You were within the safe walls of Jackson, and there was no way the infected or raiders could ambush you, but still Joel felt an icy wave of panic washing over him, his mind providing him with terrible scenarios that would explain the open door and your silence.
Then a small thud reverberated from the other room, and Joel’s legs carried him there without a second thought.
He slammed the door open, and his eyes immediately locked on the man holding you against the wall. Your assaulter – that fucking kid, Jack – had one hand covering your mouth, the other forearm pinning your shoulders to the wall. His knee was between your legs and Joel could see you standing on your tippy toes, trying to pull away as far as possible.
Joel’s hands were itching to get rid of the threat that guy was for you, but first his gaze involuntarily shifted to your face – and his heart clenched painfully when he noticed your terrified expression and tears streaming down your cheeks.
The blinding rage in Joel’s veins almost charred him from the inside out and he felt like he was about to explode from the fury seething inside of him. In two long strides he ran towards Jack and all but threw him off of you, stepping to the side to act as a shield between you and him.
“You just signed your death sentence, kid,” he growled and punched the other man in the face when he tried to get up. You screamed behind him, but Joel ignored it, the need to beat the living daylights out of this little shit almost overwhelming his senses.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” Jack yelled from the floor, holding a hand in front of his face. “You broke me fucking nose, man!”
It was true, the blood was flowing freely from the already swelling nose, but it didn’t feel like enough. Joel had to utilize every fiber of his willpower to keep himself from venting his wrath on this kid. He knew damn well it wouldn’t end well for either of them – Jackson had hard laws when it came to violence.
“You deserve a lot worse,” Joel gritted his teeth and motioned with his head towards the exit. “Now get out.”
“She wanted it!” Jack shouted, as if he hoped that his explanations would make the situation any better. He wiped the blood flowing from his nose, glaring at you angrily. “Stupid bitch,” he snarled, “can’t make up her mind. Didn’t I do enough for you?! I was nice, always helped you–”
“Get the fuck out of here before I break your jaw,” Joel cut in, clenching his fists and taking a step forward. The young fucker seemed to size him up for a couple of seconds, probably wondering if starting a fight was worth it, but eventually spluttered contemptuously.
“Fine,” he snarled, and then looked below Joel’s arm at you. “I wouldn’t want to catch somethin’ from you, either way, if you’re already fucking this old geezer.”
Your face, and also Joel’s, grew hot – but while yours was red from embarrassment and shame, his was burning from barely concealed rage.
“OUT!!” he shouted, his thundering and powerful voice making both you and Jack flinch. His face was twisted in fury and the other man must’ve realized that staying here longer would only mean worse for him, because he scrambled to his feet and ran out without another word.
The front door slammed shut behind him, and for a few seconds a heavy silence hung in the air.
Joel took a steadying breath, trying to restore his cool, but he felt himself shaking from rage. If he didn’t come back in time… if he was a minute late, he didn’t want to think what that bastard would’ve done to you.
Trying to shut down the intrusive thoughts, Joel turned around and knelt by where you were still seated on the ground. He couldn’t will the tension in his body to lessen, and his muscles and tendons were so taut that he thought they were going to snap. But he forced his hands to unclench before he gently cupped your face.
“Did he hurt you?” he asked quietly, his brows knitted in worry. You shook your head, but your eyes were filled with tears, and it felt like something was ripping Joel’s chest apart.
“He pushed me. And I… the glass.”
You lifted your hand and Joel winced when he saw a shard of green glass – from the flower vase which previously stood on the table – embedded in your palm. A trickle of blood was running down your wrist, but he presumed there would be much more once he took it out.
“It’s alright, sweet girl. I’ll take care of it.” I’ll take care of you. “Let’s go to the kitchen so I can patch you up, ‘kay?”
You nodded, letting him pull you to your feet.
Once you made your way there and you instructed him on where some bandages and disinfectant were, Joel gently grabbed your waist and hoisted you up onto the table, seemingly without any problem at all. You blushed when you felt his touch, for a moment forgetting about the pain piercing your palm, but the gravity of what you just experienced crept up on you again soon enough.
Joel noticed your silence as he carefully removed the shard and bandaged your hand. He didn’t want to imagine what exactly happened when he was gone, but it was obvious it shook you quite strongly. So when he saw tears welling in your eyes, he threw all caution to the wind and wrapped his arms tightly around you.
Not one ounce of regret had time to haze his mind over, because you instantly clung to him, too, letting out a shaky exhale. Joel hugged you tightly, letting go of all the tension and fear in his body. He was never this close to you before, and he allowed himself to indulge in the warmth of your body and the feeling of your arms around him, reminding him that you’re okay, that you’re with him now. He breathed in your scent, hiding his nose in the crown of your head and pressing his lips to your hair, hoping to calm you down.
“It’s alright, baby. I’m here, you’re safe now.”
You tensed, but Joel just held you closer, not realizing he said something wrong. He planted a soft kiss on your hairline, sighing when you started moving your hands up and down his back soothingly. Despite standing up, Joel felt relaxed like never before, like he could fall asleep right here and now.
That is, until you spoke up.
“What did you say?”
…shit.
Joel opened his mouth, then closed it almost immediately. His eyes raced wildly across the room, trying to think of what to say, but he didn’t let go of you. There might’ve been a selfish reason behind his inaction, but mostly he didn’t want you to see his flustered face.
“Nothin’,” he answered after a pregnant and rather uncomfortable pause, and cleared his throat. “You don’t wanna… t’was nothin’ important.”
Maybe you really didn’t hear him. It would have saved him a lot of trouble and embarrassment, and probably another two weeks of his life of avoiding you. But judging by the silence in the room, he wasn’t so lucky.
“Did you…” You swallowed before finishing softly, “call me ‘baby’?”
Joel cringed, closing his eyes tightly, and prayed for some higher power to smite him off the surface of the Earth. But again – luck wasn’t on his side.
The silence prolonged, and you finally grew impatient. You pulled away, looking up to scan his face. “Joel?”
“I’m sorry, it… slipped out,” he mumbled, all red and not meeting your eyes. That was a shame, because if he did find the courage to look at you, he would notice a small smile forming on your face as you regarded him.
“So I heard you correctly?” you asked again, and he sighed heavily, running his hand over his face and rubbing his eyes.
“Yes, yes you did. M’really sorry, I wasn’t thinkin’. I just tried to comfort you and– fuck,” he whispered to himself, lowering his hand but still not looking in your direction. “I, I don’t want ya to feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry, I can go…”
“No.” Your uninjured hand shot out and grabbed his shirt before you could process what you were doing. Joel glanced down at your fist clutching the material, and then back up into your wide eyes. “Please, no. Stay.”
His lips parted slightly at your request and unexplained (at least from his perspective) hope filling your gaze. He looked so adorable that you had never wanted to kiss him more than right now.
“Come closer,” you pleaded, barely louder than a whisper.
Joel obliged, letting your hand guide him. You gently pulled him to you, so that he was almost standing between your legs, and your fingers loosened their hold, now smoothing over the material of his shirt.
You took a deep breath and leaned forward, bracing your weight on his chest. Joel looked puzzled by your behavior, but when he realized what you were doing, he stopped you gently by putting his own hand on your shoulder.
“No,” he whispered, his voice full of pain, but steady. “Don’t do that. You… you’re in a state of shock.”
“I know what I want,” you spoke equally quietly, staring at him with nothing but pure genuineness and need in your eyes. “And I want you, Joel.”
“Please, ba–” he cut himself off before he could finish this word. It pained him deeply to reject you, but he knew that if he let you kiss him, you’d regret it later. And that he wouldn’t be able to survive. “I’m sorry, sweet girl, but it wouldn’t be right. I don’t wanna be takin’ advantage of you.”
Your face fell in confusion and disappointment, but you didn’t let him go even when he put a light pressure on your hand.
“You never..” you gulped, searching his face, “thought about it? About… me, in that way?”
Christ, what was he supposed to say to that? He wouldn’t be able to lie to you, not if you kept looking at him with those innocent and full of desire eyes of yours.
“Don’t ask me.” Joel closed his eyes, the muscle in his cheek pulsing when he felt your touch on the side of his face. “Please, don’t ask me.”
“Because I have,” you continued in a sudden rush of courage. “I think about you constantly, and about us. Every time I invite you over or see you in the town working... And I’m only saying all that, because I thought maybe… maybe you felt it, too. I think you do.” Joel didn’t answer, and you looked up at him with determination you didn’t really feel. “Tell me.”
Joel clenched his jaw, exhaling heavily, but didn’t pull away. He weighed the options in his mind while you waited patiently, and finally, his resolve cracked under your hopeful gaze.
“I think about you,” he began slowly, earnestly, “every night. Every fuckin’ night and day, sweetheart.” His voice was raspy, but that drawl of his so soft and delicious to your ears. “But I shouldn’t. You and I both know that.”
He still hasn’t looked your way. You tried to lean to the side to fit in his field of vision, but Joel turned away even more, attempting to take a step back. You grabbed his shirt again before he could do that, and he didn’t fight you.
“Why not?” you whispered, transfixed on his handsome features.
“‘Cause you deserve better. I’m way too old for you,” he answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, like you should know it already. “You have so many admirers who are probably much more fit for you, and it would be… it is so wrong that I’m lettin’ those thoughts linger.”
“I don’t want any of them, though.” Joel finally locked eyes with you, but still seemed conflicted. You slowly let go of his clothes and reached for his hands, then guided them to your cheeks. You saw his throat bob nervously when you placed them there and brushed his knuckles with your thumbs. “Look, it’s hard for me to open up, but… I really like you. Really.”
Joel swallowed heavily, his face contorted in pain – as if your words were wounding not only his soul, but his very flesh. Then the pressure on your cheeks became a little stronger, and he tentatively swiped his thumbs under your eyes in a loving manner. Your heart fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings as he slowly scanned your face for any sign of hesitancy, then let his eyelids drop and pressed his forehead to yours. You lifted your chin slightly, nudging his nose with the tip of yours.
“Call me that again,” you whispered pleadingly. His wooden, earthly scent was enveloping all your senses, making you feel so very calm and safe. You’d gladly lose yourself in him. “Please.”
Joel instantly knew what you meant. His resolve was wavering and his body giving in, but the doubt was still there in his mind. The fear that he was somehow reading you wrong.
“Don’t beg me, sweet girl.” His breath was on your lips, beckoning you even closer. “M’too weak for that.”
“Please,” you repeated more urgently, and when he didn’t move, you turned your head and pressed your lips to the inside of his wrist tenderly. “Joel.”
He cursed softly. It appeared that the tension between you both was getting to him, too, and Joel was losing the battle he fought with himself. He lowered his lips to the edge of your jaw, his pupils blown wide and eyelids heavy, almost as if he was under a spell. You whimpered when he withdrew one of his hands on your cheeks, but the loss was quickly replaced by relief when he moved it to the small of your back, pulling you closer and flush against his body.
“You sure about this?” he murmured lowly, making you shiver against him. His nose traveled along your jaw and the column of your neck, then back up until his lips brushed the shell of your ear. “I don’t want ya to regret it.”
“I won’t,” you promised. “Please, baby.”
Your plea sent a shiver down his spine. Joel couldn’t hold back anymore, didn’t want to. It was clear you wanted him, and he never was a strong enough man to deny you anything.
Your eyes met, and Joel took a second to get his heart under control. You were so beautiful, and your skin so soft under his touch… He tilted your chin up, barely able to comprehend that all of it was really happening, that it was you who put his hands on yourself. And you wanted him to kiss you.
For fuck’s sake, you begged him to.
All the remaining traces of his self-control evaporated in a heartbeat, and he pulled you in, pressing your body closer before bringing his lips to yours, locking them in a soft kiss.
His mouth molded perfectly to yours, causing you to sigh with relief at the gentle caress. You felt heat pooling in your stomach, and you were glad for sitting down because your weak knees would surely buckle under you in different circumstances. The intensity of the kiss gradually grew until it became so heated that you had to grab a fistful of Joel’s hair on the nape of his neck for support.
At one point, Joel pried your lips away, searching your eyes with concern. You worried that he was having second thoughts, but the longer he looked at you, the more his own irises darkened with lust and insatiable hunger, making your face burn like it was on fire. His clear want and the knowledge that you were the cause of it made you feel powerful, but somehow at the same time completely naked under his gaze.
Without any warning, he dived back in, his wide palm enveloping one side of your face while he tangled the other hand in your hair. He tugged on it, probably a little rougher than he intended, eliciting a needy moan from your chest. You instantly felt embarrassed about your response, but when you tried to pull away, Joel practically growled, not letting you turn away.
“S’alright, baby,” he rasped, trailing hot kisses down your neck, making your breath hitch in your throat. “Keep makin’ those pretty sounds for me.”
You felt dizzy. Like he could make you melt from the tone of his voice alone.
Having his lips on yours felt better than you have ever imagined, and so perfect that you never wanted this moment to end. But one thought kept nagging at you, making it harder and harder to focus, and finally after some time Joel softly drew away. He sent you a soft, almost shy smile.
“What is it, sweetheart? Not havin’ second thoughts, I hope?”
It hit you in that moment that it wasn’t the first time he looked at you with so much warmth and affection in his eyes. You just never noticed before that he always looked at you this way.
“No, no,” you hurried to reassure him. “Just something… Something I wanted to do for a while.”
He raised his eyebrows playfully. “Somethin’ other than kissin’ your handsome neighbor?”
You clicked your tongue at his unexpected cockiness.
“Not exactly.” Your answer only made him more intrigued, and you grinned. “Indulge me and take a step back.”
Joel squinted suspiciously, but eventually humored you. You bit your lip, feeling giddy at finally having a chance to do something you thought about every time this infuriatingly handsome man was in your house.
His eyes followed the tip of your tongue when it ran across your bottom lip… and you took this moment to hook your thumbs on his tool belt and yank him forward.
Your lips connected again, though it was far from perfect – your teeth clashed together and your noses collided, causing you both to yelp in small pain and discomfort, but you didn’t let go of him. Your joy from this silliness lasted only a couple of seconds, though, because before long Joel started to laugh uncontrollably.
You huffed and tried to kiss him again, but he withdrew out of your reach, wrapping his arms around your waist with a big, goofy smile.
“Get back here.”
“What the hell was that, sweetheart?”
His eyes crinkled in amusement and you felt a bit foolish from what you just did. You turned your gaze down, but Joel lifted your chin with his fingertip, and you couldn’t help but smile, too, when you saw how happy he looked.
“It looked more romantic in my head,” you murmured with an awkward chuckle. “I actually wanted to do it the first time I saw you with that belt on.”
“S’that so?” Joel asked and kissed you briefly again, this time with a hint of hunger he was keeping at bay until now. “You like seein’ me in it?”
“I really, really do,” you whispered, hiding your face in his chest. “I don’t know why, but it look so fucking hot on you…”
“My dirty baby,” Joel purred into your hair. The bright grin on his face only grew when he heard you groaning in embarrassment. “Gimme a kiss.”
You didn’t move, not wanting to face him, so Joel opted to nuzzle the sensitive skin of your neck with his nose. “You’re adorable, y’know that? Don’t get all shy on me now, babygirl.”
A deep sigh escaped your chest and the tension in your shoulders lessened. Joel smirked into the crook of your neck, still planting soft kisses on your skin. His lower back was starting to ache from the position, but there wasn’t anywhere else he’d rather be.
And then all the discomfort in his body was put in the shade when you moaned quietly, pressing yourself against him more and wrapping your arms around Joel’s neck.
“Do you wanna get back to my room?” you asked after a while, and Joel hummed into your skin, now littered with love bites his lips and teeth left in their wake.
“You want me to fix that shelf of yours?” he teased back, making you snort.
“Just wanna cuddle with you. If that’s okay.” You nuzzled into his neck, and added quietly. “I can still feel his touch on me. And I only wanna feel you.”
Though Joel would be more than okay with that, by the sounds you were making and the look you were giving him, he doubted that’s all you’ll be doing. Still, his back hurt like hell and he almost let out a relieved groan at the thought of laying down.
“If you want me, baby. If you want me, then I’m all yours.”
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Not a week has passed, and Joel had to get his toolbox out again – this time to fix your broken bed.
Though now he knew exactly what caused the damage.
1K notes · View notes
thecreelhouse · 3 months
Text
it’s crazy what you’ll do for a friend
Paring: Steve Harrington x Reader (afab, one gendered term, but otherwise neutral)
WC: 4.5k
Summary: After a long, awful day, you can’t even relax when your go-to stress reliever falls apart, too. Steve, being the good friend he is, offers to help you out.
CW/Tags: hurt/comfort, language, masturbation, FWB, inexperienced reader, soft teasing, oral sex (f receiving)
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A/N: I left this open ended, so if you’d like another part please let me know! part two - it felt like love & drugs is up now! title is from daddy issues - the neighbourhood. hope y’all enjoy <3
⋆。˚ ☁︎。⋆˚ ☀︎ ˚。⋆
It’s raining. Of course it’s raining. How cliche it is for the sky to pour out on one of the roughest days you had in awhile.
Just your luck, you left your umbrella at home. Your car’s in the shop, you missed the bus, leaving you to pull your jacket over your head awkwardly as you try making it home as quickly as possible.
But why would that work out? Nothing else has worked out in your favor today, why not add some more misery as a truck speeds by into a puddle, sending a wave of filthy water splashing onto you. If you weren’t drenched from the rain yet, you’re certainly a drowned rat now.
Somehow, you manage to keep composure and suppress your frustrated yelling; stomping on through the rain, which is now raining sideways— Are you fucking kidding me? — you count the blocks ahead until you’re back home. Two. Just two more blocks. Sure, they’re city blocks, so they stretch farther than the ones you grew up with in your childhood neighborhood, but you got this.
Thankfully, your bad luck decided to give you a breather, allowing you to make the rest of the trip home on foot without further frustration.
Walking down the quiet hallway of your apartment complex, you can feel and hear the squish of water in your shoes as you make your way to your front door. You can’t be bothered to care about the amount of rainwater you must be trudging in.
You’re crossing your fingers in hopes that no one's home, so you can cry and scream in peace; as you unlock the door, your wish is immediately denied.
“God dammit,” You murmur under your breath, stare narrowing at the lights on throughout the apartment. Sounds echo out from the TV, and you hope they’re loud enough to cover the door closing. You kick your shoes off, sighing in relief the overwhelming, squishy sensation on your feet is gone. You begin to shuffle down the hallway to your room, but, of course, you’re spotted.
“Hey! How was your— oh.” Steve’s peering over the couch, smile dropping like a ton of bricks when he sees how miserable you look. “What the hell happened?” He pushes himself over the back of the couch, hurrying over to you, and you throw your hand up in a stop gesture.
“Don’t even come near me, I’m straight up bad luck today.” You grumble, hoping if you joke about it you’ll feel better, but tears of anger just build up instead. “Also, I’m covered in water from god knows where, so you really do not want to be near me right now.”
Steve cautiously comes closer anyway, arms’ length, but still too close for your liking right now, so you step back. He wants to ask if you’re okay, but he knows the answer to that.
 Then he realizes you walked home. “Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve picked you up.” And honestly, you wish you thought to call him. You were just so overwhelmed with how badly today was spiraling, the last thing on your mind was reaching out to your roommate for a ride.
Too exhausted to explain that, you give a weak shrug. “I need to be alone for a bit, okay?”
Steve’s features twist into concern, wanting to help however he can, but he holds himself back; the best way to help is to give you space right now. With a nod and a sigh, he reminds you, “Just, uh, lemme know if you need something.”
You start making your way to your room again, murmuring “Thanks, Steve.” While your mind was elsewhere, you miss the way Steve watches as you head in your room and slam your door, causing him to wince.
⋆。˚ ☁︎。⋆˚ ☀︎ ˚。⋆
An hour or so after you got home, you lay on your bed in your robe, not bothering to change into pajamas after showering just yet; you were just content you’d be relaxing the rest of the night.
And what better way to relax than getting yourself off after such a terrible day?
Opening the drawer of your nightstand, you grab your vibrator, focusing on the sounds outside your door. Whatever movie Steve had on seemed loud enough that you could hear the dialogue float down the hall. It was also loud enough where you could get away with breathy moans and small whimpers, so that was good enough for you to continue.
With a flick of a switch, your wand- a much cheaper, smaller version of the original- buzzes to life. Eagerly, you untie your robe and let it fall open, teasing along down your body with the vibrator before reaching where you needed it most.
Instantly, your hips bucked as the wand brushes up ever so slightly against your clit, jaw falling as your eyes flutter shut; the pent up tension from the day already begins to leave your body as pleasure consumes your thoughts.
“Oh, fuck,” You murmur, hushed enough that Steve can’t hear you in the other room. With one hand, you toy and tease your core as slick coats your folds, while the other comes back to your chest, pinching and pulling lightly at your nipple.
Effortlessly, your mind wanders to Steve touching you; this is normal lately, but you don’t have feelings for him. Not really. If anything, you just think he’s attractive, but you wouldn’t want anything with commitments. That’s assuming he feels the same way, which you’re certain he doesn’t, and that’s totally cool.
Who doesn’t think about their roommates when they touch themselves, anyway? 
In your mind, Steve’s hands are where yours are, nothing wild, just imagining how caring and gentle his touch would be. You’ve also thought before about how rough he could be, too. Nothing wrong with fantasizing about either, right?
Sometimes when you come close to finishing quickly, you edge or overstimulate yourself. You could feel the high within reach, toes curling as your back arches as you imagine him praising you with a typical “good girl”, encouraging you to keep going, to keep the toy against you after you cum. Brows knitting together, your mouth falls into an ‘o’ shape, breaths shallow while you’re needy for release.
You’re right there, just on the edge— The wand buzzes to a halt without warning. Your eyes fly open, pulling the toy back to your view as your chest heaves, orgasm fading away. Desperate, you flick the switch a few times, hoping it’d turn on again, but nothing happens.
 “No, no, no,” You can feel the tension build up again, rageful tears ready to burst in record time. Normally, you’d just be annoyed by your vibrator dying just before you climax, but after today, this is the final straw. As you dump the batteries out, you wonder when the last time you changed them was. You can’t remember. Figures.
Batteries. We have some in the junk drawer of the kitchen. You’re quick to tie your robe closed before darting down the hall. The movie’s still playing as you pass the living room, but Steve’s in the kitchen. Oh, come the fuck on.
Ignoring him as he searches the fridge for a snack, you round the island counter, making a beeline for the junk drawer. Yanking it open, Steve spins around, looking perplexed. 
 “What’s up?”
“Not now, Steve.” You feel bad, but you’re desperate to get off. You were so fucking close, and that high is long gone now, but you just need to quiet your mind before the stress gets to you again. You’re tearing the drawer apart, pulling out old pens and half used notepads, rubber bands, a broken bottle opener- seriously? - spare string light bulbs, bookmarks, a pack of candy corn— who the fuck put this here? Ew.
Focused, you don’t notice Steve slide next to you, leaning against the counter. “What are you looking for?”
“Batteries. We had some, didn’t we? I swear we still had some left from that old pack.” You’re frantic, voice picking up speed and pitch the longer you fight off the tears. “We usually keep ‘em in this drawer right?”
 “Oh, I used the last few for my Walkman, I’m sorry. I’ll grab some more tomorrow—”
That shouldn’t be a big deal, but right now it’s the biggest deal in the world. “You what?”
“… I… used them?” Steve’s slightly afraid to answer, but still completely confused as to why you’re so wound up. His eyes flicker down to your fists, fingernails digging into your palms as they ball up, trying to keep your anger at bay. “Bu- but I can go get more! I’ll go right now.” He’s rushing for his raincoat and shoes, but guilt floods through you.
“Steve, don’t do that, it’s still pouring out.” You sigh, fists loosening up before you tug your robe closed tighter. “You don’t have to, I can— fuck. I can go tonight, it’s not a big deal.” The thought of getting dressed again and braving the storm makes you wonder just how desperate you are to get off. How pathetic.
Steve pauses in the doorway, hanging his coat back up. “It seems like a pretty big deal to you. What’s going on?” He makes his way back to you, and you’re pouting, arms crossed while you look away, hoping he doesn’t notice the way you’ve been trying so damn hard to keep the dam of tears from breaking.
“It’s— god, it’s so fucking stupid. I’m just overwhelmed by how terrible today was. Like, every fucking thing had to go wrong, and this is so dumb, who gets upset over batteries?! Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with me?” You don’t mean to start rambling, but once it starts, you can’t stop it. “Work was a nightmare, my car’s still getting worked on, this rain is horrible and my umbrella was here. Being soaked in street water has me grossed out still, and now that I’m home, I can’t even relax, all because of… batteries? Oh my god.”
Saying it all out loud helps a little, but it also makes you realize how deep today got under your skin. You leave out the part about not being able to cum, but that’s not something you want to admit to.
“That… sounds really overwhelming.” Steve gives empathy, but he’s not sure what else to say beyond that. So, he asks, “Are you sure you don’t want me to run out and get batteries?”
“Uh, no it’s totally fine, Steve. That’s sweet of you, but I’ll be okay.”
“Let me know if you change your mind, okay?” He leaves the offer open, and curiosity gets the best of him. “What did you need them for anyway?”
Your eyes widen, not expecting him to ask. “It’s silly,” trying to shrug it off, Steve, meaning well, persists.
“Hey, whatever it was, it’s okay to be upset about. You had a rough day. M’sorry I used the last few batteries.”
“Steve, it’s okay, really. I’m sorry I got upset, it’s not even the batteries, it’s— it’s nothing some sleep can’t fix.” Shaking your head, you brush it off, embarrassed you let something so meaningless work you up.
“I’m sure there’s something around here we can swap the batteries out so you can use them now, and we can replace them tomorrow.” He starts looking around the kitchen for something battery powered to steal the source form. “What kind were th— ”
He’s too sweet, he won’t let this go unless I tell him.
“Steve, don’t.”
“But if it helps you feel better— ” 
“Steve, stop. Please.”
 “Why?”
It comes out in an unintended outburst, “Because it was for my vibrator! Happy?” Your eyes finally meet his, and the heat rising to your face feels unbearable alongside the embarrassment. “I was— I wanted to blow off some steam, okay? It died while I was… y’know…And I can get myself off with my hand sometimes, but it’s not the same as toys or someone else’s actions. So… yeah.”
A rosy blush creeps along Steve’s face, enough to reach the tips of his ears; you know this never happens unless he’s embarrassed, or caught off guard, and right now, it’s both.
 “Oh. I- shit, I’m sorry for- you didn’t have to tell me.”
“You and I both know you’d still be looking for damn batteries if I didn’t say something.” You murmur, looking at the floor as you lean against the counter. “I appreciate that you care, Steve, but this isn’t something you can really help with. Unless you’ve got a vibrator of your own you don’t mind sharing.” The last part’s a joke, but Steve clears his throat, looking away.
An awkward silence falls between the two of you, one that’s quiet enough that you can hear the buzzing of the lights overhead, and the whirr of the VCR rewinding whatever tape he had in, finally at its end.
 “I… don’t, but I could still help… if you want.” Steve’s rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You think you misheard him, so you keep quiet, and he takes that as rejection. “But- okay, that was really dumb of me to offer. We can just forget about what I said.”
Glancing at him from where he stands, across from you, leaning against the island counter, he finally looks your way, afraid to say the wrong thing. You tilt your head, daring to ask, “You mean it?”
“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” Steve chews on his bottom lip anxiously. 
Your mind goes blank, thinking about his hands on you the way you fantasize, answering with a raspy, pathetic, “Please?” Pushing off the counter, you start to close the gap between the two of you, but Steve meets you halfway, backing you up into your original spot.
“What… What’s off limits?” He has to slow his breathing intentionally, already getting turned on. He’s always wondered what you sound like when someone else plays with you, and he can’t believe he’s about to find out. 
“Nothin’.” You answer casually, and Steve opens his mouth to say something, but only silence comes out. You smirk, “What’d you think I was gonna say?”
He shrugs, “Thought you didn’t have much experience, that's all.”
“I mean… I don’t. Not really. I get too nervous to let most guys near me, you know that. The rest’s all my imagination, unfortunately.” You admit bashfully.
Steve’s hands grab your hips, nudging you onto the counter. “You’re not nervous with me, are you? Be honest.”
 “I- I mean kinda… but not in that way!” You’re rushing to clarify, hands up and waving away any doubt. “I’m just a little nervous, ‘cause you’re my friend. And my roommate. Oh my god, is this gonna make things weird?”
Steve chuckles while shaking his head, “Won’t be weird to me. Friends can fuck around too, y’know.” His voice drops low, hands on your thighs. You push yourself against the cabinets as he parts your legs, stepping between them. He looks down, noticing your exposed skin high on your thigh where your robe falls open. “If it’ll be weird to you, though, we can stop.”
Eyes wide, you shake your head furiously. “Not weird. Absolutely not… maybe a little. But not weird in a bad way.” Steve laughs, one hand sliding higher up your thigh, pushing the material away, exposing your skin.
Tugging the plushy material’s edge, barely covering your bottom half at this point, he asks, ”You’re not wearing anything under this, are you?” 
“No… I was kinda worried about something else other than clothes.” You playfully roll your eyes, and Steve pinches your thigh.
“Smartass.”
“You asked, Stevie.”
Traveling higher, his hand gently holds the side of your face, thumb sweeping along your cheek gently. “You tell me if you don’t like something, or if you want to stop. Got it?”
“Mhm, I got it,” Your voice is small, but clear while you watch Steve’s gaze flicker to your lips, then back to your eyes.
“Can I kiss you?”
You answer by closing the gap, kissing Steve softly, lips working in tandem with a slow pace. It’s sweet, even when he parts your lips with his tongue; slow kisses like these always make you squirm, enjoying them but greedy for more.
When Steve pulls back, there’s a thin thread of spit connecting his lips to yours, breaking once he smirks. He kisses along your jawline, down your neck, taking his time between sucking softly and kissing slowly, almost too slow for your liking. His hands fly to your thighs, holding them in place from squirming.
Pulling back to look at you, he asks, “Do you get like this when you touch yourself?” You shake your in response.
“Well, no, this is different than just thinking about you—” You clamp your mouth shut, pursing your lips as your eyes widen. Steve’s smirk breaks into a cocky grin.
“You’re thinking of me while you get off?” His words are laced with a hint of an unnecessary ego boost. “That’s cute.”
“Sh- shut up,” Your breath shudders as he’s back onto your skin, sucking and kissing along your collarbone while slipping the robe off of your shoulders. The cool air along your exposed chest hardens your nipples, and Steve immediately leans down to latch onto the pebbled flesh; his tongue swirls around the sensitive bud, earning the tiniest squeak of a moan.
 “Tell me what you think about when you touch yourself,” Steve murmurs against the swell of your breast, kissing lazily across your chest to switch sides, repeating his motions. 
“Um… oh,” You’re arching your back, pushing your chest into Steve’s face. He keeps a pattern of sucking, biting, licking, and it makes you dizzy. His arm snakes around your side to your back, holding you steady. “I told you wh- what I think about.”
“No, tell me what you think about me doing to you,” Steve clarifies, fingers toying with the nipple he’s not kissing, pinching and rubbing soft, slow circles. A whine leaves your lips, hands tangling into his hair. “Jesus, you’re all hot and bothered just from this?”
“Uh-huh,” You rasp, unaware of how your hips roll forward, the ache between your legs only growing. “And I, um, I dunno.”
“Yes you do, don’t be shy,” Steve’s back to eye level with you, noses touching ever so slightly. Huskily, he asks, “What makes you cum when you think about us?” His hands are agonizingly slow as he starts opening the remainder of your robe, eyes meeting yours to make sure you’re still okay with this. You give a nod as your breath hitches, core clenching around nothing as you hear him whisper “Fuck.” under his breath, eyes taking in every inch of you.
“What?” You’re not self conscious, but you’re very aware this is the first time he’s seeing you completely exposed. Something about that forces your arms to cross over your chest as your legs close, but his firm grip is back on your thighs, pushing them apart. 
“You’re so fucking pretty.” Steve’s words grow muffled as he kisses you, again, refusing to rush things, but you can tell he’s a little needier than the first kiss. You whimper into his mouth, hips grinding yourself against nothing, desperate for friction. He pulls back to watch you writhe, smirking. “C’mon, tell me, babe. Nothing’s gonna happen if you keep those dirty thoughts to yourself.”
Fuck it.
 “I th- think about you teasing me slowly, like you’re doing now, making me wet a- and fucked out before you even really touch me.”
Steve’s biting back a groan while hands travel along your sides, fingertips grazing your skin softly as he reaches your hips, digging his fingers into the plush of your curves. “What else?”
“I like thinking about how, um,” You’re caught off guard by his hands moving closer to your cunt, resting on your thighs as his thumbs rubbing circles into them. He’s dragging it out, enjoying the way your breath shudders and you squeeze your eyes shut to focus. “How good your fingers would feel on me, in me, and how you- you’re— ” you stop yourself, feeling overwhelmed.
 “I’m… what?” Steve’s fingers again inch closer to your heat, causing an airy whimper to escape you. 
You rush it out, hoping it’ll dull embarrassment for you, “I think a lot about how you’d look between my legs.” Looking away from him makes it a tad easier to continue. “Thinking ‘bout how good your mouth would feel on me, but it’s hard to think about sometimes, ‘cause it’s not like I- I’ve got anything to base it on.”
Steve freezes, “Has no one gone down on you before?” You’re looking anywhere but at him, until he grabs your chin, gently pulling your attention his way. “Is that what you’re saying?”
 “Like, I bet it feels good, but yeah, no one’s done it before.” You’re reluctantly admitting, biting your lip anxiously. Steve presses his thumb on your bottom lip, softly pulling it from between your teeth.
 “Can I change that for you?”
 “Oh… I— you want to?”
 “Wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want to,” He reminds you. “No pressure, though.”
Enthusiastically, you nod, starting to push off the counter, but Steve again holds you in place. “Shouldn’t we do this somewhere else?”
As Steve drops to his knees, he hooks his arms under your legs, tugging you closer to the edge. He chuckles at your question. “We can do this anywhere you want.” He’s at the perfect level to reach you from here, licking his lips at the sight of your glistening cunt already.
 “Yeah, but like, people eat here.”
 “What do you think I’m doing?” He’s kissing up your leg, laughing against your skin as you roll your eyes.
 “Steve, that was the corniest thing you— oh, fuck.” He presses the softest kiss to your folds, glancing up to make sure you’re okay. From that small action alone, you shiver. He throws one of your legs over his shoulder before licking a slow, broad stripe up your cunt. You moan loudly, throwing your head back at the new sensation, but you slam your head into the cabinet. “Ow!”
Steve can’t help laughing against your skin; one hand of yours cards through his hair, tugging, while the other holds the back of your head. “Stop laughing— f- fuck.” 
“You good? Should we stop?” He asks, leaning away from your core as he glances up at you, making sure you’re alright.
“No, don’t, please don’t,” You babble, pushing him by the back of his head to come closer. Steve takes the hint, picking up where he left off. His tongue swirls and flicks at your clit, making your legs twitch. Once he starts sucking on it, your eyes roll back and you keen while your leg over his shoulder hooks him as close as possible to you.
“Someone’s greedy,” He teases before he buries himself back into you, sucking your clit again before tongue fucking you, making a mess from your arousal and his spit, pooling onto the counter beneath you. Steve slips a finger into you, curling it just right. You buck against him, and you swear he murmurs something like, “Taking me so well, honey.”
 “Steve, I- I don’t wanna cum yet, m’so close.” You plead, and that’s something he hasn’t heard before. He’s used to his partner begging to cum, but this is new.
 “Why not?”
 “I don’t want it to be over so soon,” You whine, grinding against his face and fingers. Steve hums into you, vibrations sending you closer to the edge. “But it feels s- so good.”
Speaking before he can think, Steve is quick to assure you, “This can happen again, y’know.” He’s sucking your clit, rougher this time, and you can’t see much past the tears building in your eyes from how intense the pleasure is. 
“Will it?” You’re panting, legs tensing up around Steve’s head. He slips another finger into you. “Fuck!”
“As long as you’re ‘kay with it,'' an obscene slurp follows his response. “Christ, you taste so good.”
“Uh- huh— ” A strangled moan leaves your lips, fingers curling around his locks before pulling roughly, while Steve doesn’t let up on his ministrations. Something within you snaps, and you’re gone.
You fight the urge to roll your eyes back, keeping your gaze on Steve who returns his to you, while somewhere between a sigh and a whiny moan, you’re crying out for him as heat floods your entire being. “Steve! Fuck!” He doesn’t stop until you physically begin pushing yourself away from him, overstimulated.
“So good, baby. M’so proud of you.” He murmurs into your thigh before standing back up. He leans in towards you, both hands cradling your face, but he stops. “You okay if I kiss you again?” You’re unsure if he asks because he’s worried to overstep a boundary or because his lips are soaked with your release. Either way you nod, tugging him closer by his shirt as you ball the fabric up in your fist. 
The two of you are noisy as you whimper into him, and he grunts when your tongue slips past his lips, tasting yourself in the process. You can only kiss him for so long before you need to pull back to catch your breath as you come down. Your eyes are heavy with the blissful exhaustion only found after an orgasm, while the dopiest smile graces your features. Steve can’t help smiling, too, resting his forehead against yours.
 “Please tell me that was better than the vibrator,” He’s joking, but secretly hoping it was better than the bliss a toy could give you.
 “Uh-huh.” You shudder out as your legs twitch, laughing at the sudden movement. It’s meant to be a joke, but Steve can’t help the way his cock twitches when you say, “You wanna be my new toy? I’ll throw that thing out so fast.” Eyes flicking down to his bulge, you notice the dark spot on his grey sweats, swallowing a moan. “You, uh, you want me to— ”
“Huh? Oh,” Steve looks down, blushing at his mess. “Nah, kinda too late to worry about it now.” He laughs it off but as he locks eyes with you again, he follows it up with, “… Unless that’s an offer for another time.”
This entire time, you’ve been shoving your feelings aside, the ones you thought were just based on superficial attraction, but his comment makes your stomach flip. “Yeah… yeah it is,” You try playing it off cool. “Hey, Stevie?”
Steve’s already grabbing a hand towel to clean you up with, touch gentle and slow. “What’s up, babe?” The pet name gives you butterflies.
“Thank you,” it feels silly to thank him for such a lewd act, but your mind is completely over how your day fell apart. “That… that felt really fucking good.”
Steve smiles warmly at you, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head. Awkwardly, he responds with, “What are friends for?” You push aside how the comment stings your heart a little. Just friends. That’s it, and that’s okay.
… it is okay, right?
962 notes · View notes
wintfleur · 2 months
Note
so stella is anemic, what if one of her brothers finds her passed out bc of it
౨ৎ passing out spells and a misinformed quinny
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°. — pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X brother! Quinn Hughes )
°. — details ( g; i honestly don’t know. w; Stella passing out, I think that’s all. wc; 1.6k )
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( thank you so much for requesting !!! So sorry that it took so long to get out, I’ve never written something like this before so I hope the passing out scene isn’t to cringe. I hope you guys enjoy it, please don’t be a silent reader !!! )
°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )
au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!
Stella loved how peaceful early mornings were at her brother's lake house, especially when she had the house to herself. Luke was staying with some friends for the weekend, Jack was out doing God knows what, and Quinn decided to wake up early and go to a rink close by to do some laps. After making sure Stella was okay with being home alone, she was having a rough week, her energy was low, and she was basically napping and relaxing all week. 
Stella was curled up on the couch watching Gilmore girls and eating, well more like picking at some cherries when Quinn kissed her forehead and said he would be back soon. Shouting out a ‘i love you’ before he left. Stella mumbled back an i love you as her tired eyes were focused on the big tv, watching as dean and Rory argue for what felt like the 10th time this episode. 
She was currently rewatching the show with Luke, so she was stuck rewatching the earlier episodes since Luke was adamant of them watching it together. Stella yawned and brought the blanket she was cuddled up in up to her shoulders, she honestly wasn't sure whose blanket it was, it was already on the couch. 
Stella watched 3 more episodes of Gilmore girls before she started to get stir crazy and hot under the blanket. She pushed the blanket off her legs and sat up from laying down, she searched for the remote and paused the tv in the middle of the theme song. She blinked a few times and let out a heavy breath, starting to feel a little nauseous. Maybe it was the smell of cherries? She thought as she looked down at the bowl filled with cherries on the coffee table. 
Stella always got really nauseous whenever she was on her period, like now. She grabbed the bowl and got up from the couch, too quickly as she saw white spots in her vision. Stella ignored the nausea and the dizzy feeling she was used to and slowly walked out of the living room and into the kitchen to put the cherries in the fridge. 
She held onto the corner of the island counter after she put away the cherries, the dizzy feeling was much worse and the pounding in the back of her head became unbearable. Stella winced at the pounding in her head, closing her eyes and hoping that it would help. She felt that familiar fear of passing out, she slowly walked back into the living room, her legs and hands trembling. 
She grabbed onto the edge of the couch as she tried to lean against it, but she felt her knees become weak and her grip on the couch slip, her eyes roll back as she collapses on the living room floor with a thump. The last thing on her mind was that she was alone. 
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Quinn hums along to the song playing on the radio channel Stella had put on the last time she was in the car with him, he wasn't sure what the song was, but he had heard Stella listen to it many times. His car would almost always turn into Stella's whenever they were together, her things in the backseat, her ChapStick or lip glosses in the cup holders. He wasn't complaining though, he missed it when he was away. 
He drove into the driveway and shut off his car, sliding his keys into his pocket and grabbing the cherry ChapStick in the cupholder that he remembered Stella complained to Cole about her losing it. He slid it into his pocket before getting out of the car and going to the trunk to grab his hockey bag. He gets his keys out his pocket and locks the car as he walks up to the front door and unlocks the door, a sigh of relief leaving his lips now that he's home. 
Quinn closes the door behind him and drops his hockey bag near the front door, tossing his keys on the island counter in the kitchen. He was confused when he didn't hear the sound of the tv, but then again maybe she went up to her room. “Stella, I'm home!” Quinn shouts out and he gets no answer, he knows she could be sleeping but he got a weird feeling in his chest that something was wrong. 
Quinn set the water bottle he pulled out of the fridge on the counter and made his way out of the kitchen and into the living room. Quinn's eyes drop to the floor of the living room and his eyes widen in fear and worry when he sees his sister's heart patterned socks peeking out from in front of the couch. Quinn quickly made his way around the crouch, and he dropped to his knees at Stella's side when he saw her unconscious on the ground. 
“Stella? Estella, can you hear me?” Quinn frantically spoke loudly, his tone filled with worry as he quickly but gently rolled Stella to lay on her back, one of his hands on the back of his littles sister's head as he tilted it back to clear her airways. His heart was almost beating out of his chest as he tried to remember all the steps of helping someone who's unconscious. 
He turned his body to reach and grab a pillow off the couch to put under Stella's legs but quickly turns back to his little sister when he hears the weak groan leaving her pale pink lips. Quinn brought his hands to cup stella’s face, gently forcing her to open her eyes as he rubbed his thumbs on her cheeks “Hey, hey stella can you hear me ⸺ c’mon open your eyes.” 
“Oww” Stella sleepily whined out as she gained full consciousness. She was confused, she had no idea what was going on or what happened. All she knew was that her head was killing her, and her ass was numb. Stella slowly fluttered her eyes open, a wince leaving her lips at the bright light of the living room. Stella blinked a few times trying to get used to the light, Stella's hand gripped onto the fur of the rug, and she tried to flatten her palm to lift herself up from the uncomfortable floor. 
“Not so fast, it's okay just lay back down” Quinn spoke softly as he grabbed a pillow from the couch and slipped it under her head so she could rest it comfortably. Quinn kept his eyes on his little sister, they were still filled with worry. Stella groans and rests her head on the pillow looking up at her brother as she whispers, “What happened?” 
“Looks like you passed out ⸺ when were you gonna tell me you could do that hmm?” Quinn jokes with a weak smile, knowing that Stella would panic the more she thought of it. Stella sniffles and tries to smile at her brother's attempt to make her feel better, she was starting to remember what had happened. She replied quietly “Thought I’d surprise ya” 
“Consider me surprised” Quinn sighed, he gently moved some of Stella's hair out of her face before he stood up. “Don't move okay, I'm going to get your iron pills and something for you to drink.” 
Stella weakly nodded and watched as her big brother rushed into the kitchen. Stella waited for a few moments before she tried again to sit up, this time she was much more successful. Stella groaned quietly as she slowly stood up and sat on the couch, pulling the blanket over her lap and closing her eyes. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Stella chanted in her head as she did her breathing exercise, hoping that it would help with the pounding in her head. 
“I told you not to move ⸺ they say you have to lay down for 10 minutes” Quinn groaned as he walked into the living room to see stella snuggled up on the couch, of course she didn't listen to him. ‘They’ being the internet. Quinn had scoured the internet for as much information he could get about Stella's anemia and what to do if she passed out when she was diagnosed. 
“They also say you shouldn't put a pillow under someone's head after they pass out” Stella says matter-of-factly as she looks up at her brother who was holding out a cold glass of orange juice, the other hand holding two iron pills. 
“What? ⸺ and you're just telling me this now?” Quinn gaped as Stella took the glass and pills into her hands. Stella rolled her eyes and swallowed the two pills with a big mouthful of orange juice. She looks up at her brother who was giving her an unimpressed look, he took her health and safety very seriously. Stella gave him an innocent smile and just simply shrugged “It was a really comfy pillow.” 
“Where are you going?” Stella questioned him as he shook his head in disbelief and turned around to walk out of the living room, his hands on his hips as he dramatically walked out. All of her brothers were so damn dramatic . . . but so was she. She hears Quinn shout his answer from the kitchen and the sound of him unzipping his bag for his phone “Going to call mom and tell her you haven't been taking your pills.” 
“They also say you shouldn't put me through any stress or yell at me” Stella shouted back with a playful smile, she took another sip from the glass while she picked up the remote and started looking for something new to watch. Already feeling much better. 
“Now you're just making shit up!” Quinn shouted back with a roll of his eyes, knowing that his little sister was just teasing him. Quinn paused his movement of searching up their moms contact when he heard the faint sound of her laughter, a smile coming across his lips when he heard her sassily shout a reply. 
“It's completely true and reasonable!” 
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( THIS. IS. SO. BAD. IM. GONNA. SCREAM. 😄 )
°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @prettyboywoll @cixrosie @toasttt11 )
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blainesebastian · 4 months
Text
something real
words: 13,045 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: SFW except for one explicit scene summary: i took inspo from a request about fake!dating for a wedding and from another film with a similar premise. what else do you do when your ex is getting married? hire a fake date notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating. tag list: @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan, @stylespresleyhearted,
“You’re losing it.”
A short laugh escapes your lips because god, maybe you are. This all started out easily enough—you needed a date for your ex’s wedding. Right, the fact that you were even invited kind of drives you crazy. It’s not like you didn’t have a good relationship with Todd, you did? But it also doesn’t change the fact how things ended—he ‘meant’ to break things off with you but started seeing someone at the same time. Claire. The girl he’s marrying. But you’re not about to go through life with grudges and anger when you can just let things go.
Which is why you’ve entertained this wedding invitation in the first place?
But to go alone? That’s a fate worse than death.
Which, ironically, is exactly what your friend, Jill, is telling you you’re going to be with this idea you’ve come up with.
“It’s all perfectly safe.” You mutter, sliding onto a bar stool and turning to look at her. You’re wearing a light blue dress, pair of booties, and jean jacket. Just casual enough but also hinting you’ve got a figure to show off if you really wanted to.
She scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they end up on 60 Minutes.”
You can’t help but smile, tugging the file out of your course before setting it on the bar top. “Do you want me to explain it again?”
Jill puts her hands on her hips—as if that will somehow make her comfortable with all of this, but she’s not protesting either. So you open up the file and—
“So my neighbor’s used this service before to go to her high school reunion, you know, so she didn’t end up there alone. She went onto their online platform, filled out a survey and bam, she was matched with someone to go.”
Jill narrows her eyes, “For twenty thousand dollars.”
“Well it’s not charity,” You throw back, “I’ve done the research, there’s a ton of reviews—all positive. It’s not like it’s about sex or anything, it’s just…companionship for one event.”
Jill looks at the file, crinkling her nose, “There’s so many other ways you could have done this—Rick, the guy in 6B? He’s always thought you were cute.”
You laugh a little, “If I go out with Rick, there is a good chance I’ll end up missing some limbs—dude is creepy, Jill.”
Her friend rolls her eyes but it’s fond, opening up the file and pointing to a blank spot where this guy’s photo should be, “Okay, but you don’t even get to know what he looks like?”
“I think it was my Wi-Fi,” You state honestly, “Some of the images weren’t loading. But that’s why you’re here,” You grin, “Safety measures. So—” You gently push on one of her hips, “Go find a table, order a drink while I wait for Austin.”
“That’s the gigolo’s name?”
“Wedding date,” You correct, shooing her away until she heads to a table.
Taking a breath, you look at the reflective surface of the bar mirror in front of you, mentally praying that this somehow not a huge mistake and order a drink.
--
Chewing on the drunken cherry in your Manhattan, you glance down the bar as you see someone handsome talking to a small group of women. You wonder if that’s Austin, looking for you—he’s about ten minutes late. Your stomach clenches anxiously, knowing that maybe Jill was right and this is utterly ridiculous. But…you got invited to the wedding late (either it was a last-minute thought or it got lost in the mail) but there was no way you could organically find someone to ask.
Sure, you could have brought Jill or some other friend but…deep down? You know this is about making Todd feel utterly stupid for cheating on you, for leaving you for someone else. You don’t want him back, of course, but that feeling of satisfaction? That look on his face when he sees you with someone else? You want it.
You can’t not go and you can’t find someone random in your life already to go with…so when your neighbor mentioned this quick fix? How could you not look into it? You’ve got a ton of money saved from over the years, not to mention a small investment your grandfather put in your name. What’s the harm in looking into this, right?
“Y/N?”
Turning on the bar stool, you nearly swallow your own tongue as you’re met face to face with who you assume is Austin. And joke’s on you because he’s ten times more beautiful than the other guy at the bar you saw talking to those women. He’s tall, lean, in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket. Easily handsome, like…James Dean or Elvis Presley. Doesn’t have to try very hard.
And suddenly something hysterical crawls up your throat as he takes a seat next to you, introduces himself as Austin, and apologizes for being late because of traffic because—
“I’m sorry—” You interrupt, shaking your head, “This uh, this isn’t going to work.”
His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his mouth opening and closing, “Excuse me?”
“You’re,” You laugh lightly, cheeks heating up. There’s this sickly sensation gripping your stomach, telling you to run, “No one is going to believe that we’re dating.”
And maybe that’s something oddly pathetic you shouldn’t have uttered outloud because what’s even worse, Austin seems to grip what you’re saying and his features soften. You do not want pity or sympathy, you’re just…stating a fact.
Austin takes in a soft breath and looks towards the bartender, ordering himself a beer, confusing you a little because you expected him to just…take off. There’s no money involved at this point, it’s a clean break. This meeting is just to discuss details.
“I think you’re underestimating yourself,” He states gently, eyes sweeping over your form. And god, he’s good, isn’t he? You suppose this is his job, making women feel good. Confident. Even though it’s all a lie.
Letting out a breath as his drink is set down on the bar, you figure there’s no harm in…talking with him, right? He came all this way; you can at least wait until he finishes his beer to turn him down. You’ll just go to this damn wedding alone—it’s really not that big of a deal, right?
Austin takes off his leather jacket, hanging it up on a hook underneath the bar and he smells amazing—some sort of cologne that’s fresh and almost citrusy. You run a hand through your hair and order another Manhattan.
“So your request said a wedding?”
“My ex,” You clarify, “And I don’t want him back, or anything, I just want him to feel like an idiot.”
Austin smiles a little, humming— “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. I’m assumin’ he already is one.”
A small laugh stutters forward in your chest because yes, he is. Your shoulders start to relax just a little because maybe Austin gets it. By not going or going alone you…you don’t want Todd to think that he’s somehow gotten one over you, that you’re lonely or broken ever since you’ve separated.
“Have you…done weddings before?”
He shifts a little on the barstool so that he’s facing you a little easier, “I’ve done weddings the most,” He admits, “Two high school reunions, one funeral.”
You raise your eyebrows, setting your drink down on the bar. “A funeral?”
Austin shrugs lightly, “Some women just want a hand to hold on their hardest day, a shoulder to cry on. Someone to talk to.” He licks his lips, taking a sip of his beer, “I’m not one to judge.”
You straighten your shoulders and…you suppose you’re really not in a position to do that either, given you’re here to hire Austin so you feel less alone and pathetic at a wedding. You take a long look at him for a moment, —curious. He doesn’t want to be doing anything else?
“Can I ask—why are you doing this?” Your fingers trace shapes into the condensation on your glass. “This whole fake-date program?”
Austin clears his throat, “You can ask me whatever you want,” He starts and that within itself seems like a dangerous proposition. “I work at this café near here but uh, it doesn’t exactly bring a lot of money in. I want to be an actor, like…a serious one, the money I get from these dates I’m savin’ up to go to L.A.”
And he essentially gets to pretend to be someone he’s not. Like an endless list of auditions.
There are other things you want to ask, other questions stuck in your throat about doing weddings. Why weddings? The whole concept seems like a bad idea—a high school reunion, a holiday party, even a funeral makes more sense, doesn’t it?
Those aren’t emotionally connected events, there’s no…opportunities to fall into something deeper than what the contract of attachment allows. But weddings? It’s about love and finding your person and…going to one with someone else feels like such a slippery slope.
Or maybe it doesn’t because Austin is a professional.
“So if I…if we do this, what does it entail, exactly?” You take another sip of your drink, as if you need the liquid courage for his response.
A small smile graces his handsome face again, “Don’t overthink it. It’s whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with.”
You feel like there’s this heat uncoiling in your belly even though he’s not suggesting anything. Somehow, it’s in the ocean blue of his eyes—a depth there. You clear your throat, “You mean uh—if I require a dance partner? Because I love to dance at weddings…usually badly.”
Austin laughs warmly but shakes his head. “I meant if I was goin’ as your date or a boyfriend.”
And oh, of course, you hadn’t even thought about it but of course Austin would want a more specific role to sink his teeth into and your mind spins about what you want to do. It’s just one night, one silly wedding, there’s no long con here. It’s not like Todd will even care who you show up with, right? You’re the one who wants to feel less lonely—
And yet—
“You can think about it, if you need to—”
“Boyfriend.” You say, cutting him off. Heat returns to your cheeks…mise well go big or go home, right? If you’re going to do this? This has got to be a bad idea, right?
“Okay,” Austin smiles, “Good.”
So it’s settled that he’ll meet you at your place beforehand, you’ll iron out details of your relationship in case anyone asks and then you’ll go to the wedding together.
Austin stands and he tosses some cash on the bar counter (enough to cover your drink as well) and he hovers for a moment, tugging on his leather jacket. “My number’s in the file, in case you need it.”
Then there’s a moment where Austin watches you, fixing the lapels of his jacket. His one hand then rests on the bar, taking a step closer to you, and the way that you’re seated, your legs open just slightly to accommodate his body in your space.
“Don’t hit me, alright?” He smiles a little, leaning down, and honestly you’re the one that feels like you’re getting sucker punched in the stomach. Air right out of your lungs. “It was nice meeting you.”
You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry as your eyes flutter to his lips, “Yeah, you too.”
There’s more than enough time for you to pull away, but you don’t, so he kisses you.
It’s nothing obscene, but slow and gentle. Warm. Just enough to make your heart pound against your ribcage, electricity singing in your veins. You suppose it’s something you should get used to if Austin is going to pass as your boyfriend.
You raise your eyebrows a little as he pulls away, hot under the collar of your jean jacket.
“Figure we’d just get that out of the way so you could concentrate.” He teases and god, your mind is spinning. You kinda hate that he’s made you feel like this so easily, like somehow it’s second nature.
“What, that doesn’t cost extra?” You manage to throw out there, finding your voice.
Austin grins, another soft laugh rumbling in his chest. “I’ll see you soon.”
You let out a slow breath, running a hand over your hair as you watch him walk out of the bar before downing the rest of your drink.
“So that’s your date, huh?” Jill asks as she comes up behind you—honestly her voice kinda sounds like cotton in your ears. “Todd is gonna swallow his own tongue.”
And you can’t help but grin.
You meet one more time before the wedding, just…something to solidify that you do, in fact, know what you’re doing. But also to get a bit more comfortable around Austin and the fact that he’s going to be your boyfriend. You let out a slow breath, aggravated by how crazy that sounds. Maybe Jill’s right, maybe this is a bad idea (despite how handsome and charming Austin is).
He’s picked you up to go somewhere but won’t tell you where. And when the engine turns off, you undo your seatbelt and look out the windshield, “A custard house?”
“Was hopin’ you could go for somethin’ sweet,” Austin smiles a little, “They make these waffle custard sandwiches that’ll change your life.”
You hum lightly and start to get out of the car, a little confused because…well, you’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. “We’re here for ice cream sandwiches?”
Austin scrunches his nose in mock offense at her flippant description, “No, we’re here for waffle custard. You need to work on listenin’, come on.” He gets out of the car too and locks the doors.
You know you’re about to paying Austin a decent amount of money to be your stand-in date, your fake boyfriend, dragging him to this wedding for god knows what reasons make sense in your head but…you suppose you didn’t count on him being like this. A tiny bit thoughtful, sweet, funny even.
Or maybe he’s already a decent actor.
You follow him to the counter, your eyes trailing over at least thirty different custard flavors—not only that, but there’s twice as many toppings. How are you supposed to choose?
“You know what you want already?” You ask as Austin rolls up the sleeves of his jean jacket a little.
“I always know what I want.” He leans on the counter, turning towards the woman at the register to order French vanilla—but stops when you make a noise. He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Somethin’ you wanna share?”
You purse your lips and rocks back onto your heels, shaking your head, “No I just…vanilla, really? You don’t seem like the type.” She teases.
Austin smirks, straightening his back. “Oh, huh.” He motions to the large display menu. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby. What should I order?”
You let the pet name slide (and it does, like heated molasses right down in your veins), which is probably a dangerous slippery slope, but you’re too busy trying to take in a custard selection at the moment to care. You chew on your lower lip, slipping through the flavors written in chalk on the board and decides to go with your favorite pairing—
“He’ll have chocolate and strawberry custard in that waffle sandwich thing with…” You hum, “Caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles.” You smile, clearly happy with your selection before ordering the same for yourself…except you also get chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
Because why the hell not?
“You’re gonna have that all over you before the night is over.” Austin motions to the dripping mess in your hands, carefully shelled between fresh waffles wrapped up in foil.
You slide yourself onto the hood of Austin’s car, almost sliding back down but managing to lean against the windshield before losing your custard sandwich.
“Challenge accepted.”
Austin smiles a little, sitting down next to you, looking far too handsome sprawled out on his car.
You realize that everything between you both is so dangerous, wrapped in gentle dynamite, the softest breath or touch capable of explosion. But it’s also tantalizing in a way that excites you—Austin is different, gentle but rough with the walls he keeps up.
Everything about this is a lie –circles in your head, over and over, trying to remind you not to take anything too seriously. And yet? You bury it deep with a bite of your custard sandwich. You moan softly and lick chocolate off your lips because Jesus, this is incredible.
Austin smirks, licking custard between the waffle before he takes a bite of his own. “Told you it was worth the stop.”
“I’m not going to admit you somehow know all just because you have decent taste in custard.” You smile and takes another bite of your waffle sandwich, leaning back to watch cars drive by.
“Give it time.” Austin glances over and you can feel his gaze, always like a magnet tracing the curves of your body. You want to tell him that you enjoy when he looks at you like that, to be felt and seen all at the same time, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
You wonder if he looks at every woman who’s ever paid him like that.
You’re not sure you want to know.
You turn and meet his gaze, holding it for a moment before a small smile graces your lips. “Do you really work at a café?”
He nods, leaning further up against the windshield. “It’s called Mug Half Full; been there about three years.” He licks his lips, pulling a napkin from his pants pocket and wiping his chin where he feels caramel sticking. “What do you do? You didn’t mention it in your email.”
You swallow down a bought of self-loathing at the question and decide to take another bite of your sandwich; sweet hiding sour. “I uh, I’m kinda in-between jobs at the moment.” You know Austin has to be able to see through that terrible excuse of an answer. “I’m currently getting an online degree in education.”
Austin finishes his custard waffle, which is admirable because yours is two seconds away from becoming soup in your hands. You lick at the sides as he crumples up a napkin and puts his trash in a can nearby so it’s not in either of your way.
“What do you want to do?”
The question shouldn’t offend you as much as it does, the want and need to defend yourself raising your hackles a bit. You bite down on reacting too sorely; he’s just asking a question—and you realize you haven’t given him a reason not to ask something like that. Your bland response is what prompts the statement.
You suppose you’re just…too used to people asking that, especially since society makes you feel like you somehow got a late start in figuring things out. In reality, it’s never too early or too late to be whoever you want. You’re just…getting to that.
You clear your throat, setting your custard sandwich down on your lap a moment, the foil protecting your clothes. “I have no idea,” You admit with a soft laugh, “My relationship with my ex kinda took all my energy—supporting whatever he needed, you know? Now I’m just starting to figure myself out.” And you’re proud of that progress, even though it feels like pushing a boulder up a hill sometimes. “I might teach maybe, one day.”
He holds your gaze for a moment, slight amusement dancing in the corners of his eyes. He smiles gently, looking down at your hands before he picks up your sandwich and licks whipped cream off the corner. Ridiculously obscene and unnecessary but you let him do it anyways.
You have apparently become accustomed to sharing things—you’ve noticed that he continues the ruse of soft touches and intimate gestures when no one’s watching. You think it’s to help solidify the fact that you’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be into one another. Which isn’t very hard when he does things like that with his tongue.
Austin tosses your trash like he did with his own before turning to look at you, handing you a napkin to wipe your hands off. “I could tell you wanted more. And you know, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”
Then why does it feel so guilty for you to admit— “Sometimes it feels selfish, to want things for myself.” You swallow, letting it sink into the air. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even your best friend or your parents.
“Sounds like someone really selfish made you feel that way.” He says gently and it’s like…wool has been taken off your eyes. Something you maybe knew but needed to hear.
It’s not what you expect him to say, not in the slightest, but it warms you from the inside out either way. You nod because yes, you’ve never thought about it like that but yes, that’s it exactly. Realizing that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do—knowing yourself and that you deserve to want, that it’s normal, even.
Austin hums softly, moving to slip off the car. You swing your legs around and when he offers you his hand, you take it to slide off as well.
How easy it would be to lean up and kiss him, how he’d probably taste like hints of chocolate and strawberry. You wait for him to let you go, for his hand to stop holding yours. But he doesn’t.
You lick your own lips, your eyes looking to his lower one, how it pouts out gently when he looks at you—and you decide to stop waiting for things you want. If you’re going to pay for his company, you might as well enjoy it.
You press your lips into his own, capturing something sweet, lips moving together like you both were always made to kiss. Austin’s one hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing your hair back around your ear before eventually pulling back. You’re breathing a little shakily, your noses brushing, Austin taking his time to trace your cheekbone with his lips before he opens up the car door for you.
“You’re not charging me extra for the gentleman treatment, are you?” Or for the kisses I keep stealing?
Austin smiles, a soft laugh leaving his throat as he waits for you to put your seatbelt on. “Not yet.” And closes the door with a wink.
--
You think about canceling six times between when you wake up on the day of the wedding to the moment you slide your dress over your head. You’ve told yourself that this was and continues to be a terrible idea and if you hadn’t paid him half up front through a cash app, you’d have the nerve to tell him never mind. Kisses and all, you really feel like you’re starting to lose your damn mind.
Though you know even if you told Austin to forget the whole thing, you still have to go to this wedding. (You could probably skip it no big deal, but the last thing you want is Todd to assume you’re bothered either). Canceling now would definitely mean going alone and you can’t stomach it, not when you feel like all of your insides are already in knots.
You smooth your hands down the front of your dress as you hear the doorbell, taking the steps downstairs carefully in your gold heels. You’ve settled for a navy-blue number that shows just enough cleavage and is ruffled at your middle, hugging curves and kissing your skin beautifully. You feel confident and comfortable, which is important for a long night.
You sigh, glancing at your front door for a moment before turning the knob and opening up to see Austin. He’s standing in a suit, beautifully polished, hair perfectly coifed on his head. A navy button-down underneath a gray suit jacket, tie to match with a red spidery design that reminds you of tree branches in the winter.
A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows because, “Why are you shakin’ your head?” He asks as he steps over the threshold and you close the door.
“I just naturally assumed you were going to show up in black. Black in your profile picture that finally loaded, black at the bar… I thought that was the only shade you owned.”
He runs a hand lightly over his chest. “Grays in the same shade family.” He’s joking but you’re not laughing and finally he just throws his hands up a little, “What’s the big deal?”
“Because we match.”
Austin looks down at himself and pauses, doesn’t get it, gives you a look that makes you feel a little crazy. “That a bad thing?”
“It’s—” No, it’s not exactly a terrible idea but it somehow digs under your skin because you want today to be perfect and Austin is supposed to be your boyfriend and you can’t be that couple that goes all matchy-matchy to events, right?
What are the odds that he shows up in something that is the exact same color as your damn dress?
“It’s too perfect, it’s not believable.” You say and he raises his eyebrows because that does not make one lick of sense. He takes a step towards you and you mirror one back, shaking your head.
Austin lets out a slow breath because you’re nitpicking and it annoys him, a flare of impatience decorating his handsome face. “Well I don’t exactly got another suit in my back pocket and we’re already late.”
You narrows your eyes, “Just…follow me. I’ll change.”
You’re up the stairs and in your bedroom before you realize what you’ve said, Austin slipping in behind you and looking around the room, drinking you in with permission you’ve accidently given him. You turn suddenly and slip off your heels, pressing one hand to his chest to stop him.
“Don’t move.”
He smiles a little and nods his head, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watches you slide into your walk-in closet to change. You sigh softly and run a hand over your forehead before you take a moment to unzip your dress and glance at your options.
“A lot of beige.”
You roll your eyes and pull out a black dress, quickly pulling it on and kicking your navy blue one to the side before stepping out of your closet. You don’t bother to zip it up until you make sure it’s the right one.
Austin has dutifully not moved from the spot on the carpet where you’ve left him and he scrunches his nose at your dress, “You goin’ to a wake?”
“What’s wrong with beige?” You glance around your bedroom; at the little accents you’ve added that have color to them. Some shades of coffee colored brown and touches of teal here and there. It’s minimalist but tasteful.
“It’s just not what I pictured.”
“You pictured my bedroom?” You ask, but the corners of your mouth pull slightly as you put your hands on your hips.
Austin tilts his head at you, eyes traveling over your body in an unashamed way. “Maybe.” He pauses for a moment to let that sink into your pores. “You don’t seem like a beige. Also, no to that dress. I can maybe get you not wantin’ to match completely but that doesn’t line up with what I got on at all.”
You nod and turn to go back into your closet, pulling the dress off and standing far too long in your underwear trying to decide on a color range. You could go gold…but that feels too flashy, gray is out of the question and so is another navy dress so…
You finger red fabric for a moment that matches the scarlet on Austin’s tie and pull it off the hanger.
“I’m not actually that fond of beige,” You admit over your shoulder as you pull the dress up—it’s a fit and flare that kind of reminds you of the sixties. Something that hugs your waist with a high-neck tanked top and flares out like a wide flame at the bottom. It hits just below your knees and your gold heels will still go nicely with it.
“But the house kinda came this way and…I never took the time to fix it.” You walk out of the closet, pulling your hair free from underneath. “Todd didn’t like bold colors anyways.”
Austin’s eyes descend on you like a cold rush of water, a wave crashing down onto your shores. He stares for what feels like a long time, his hands coming out of his pockets like he wants to touch but can’t—too far away. You smile softly as his gaze sticks, he’s captivated by the dress, and you notice he has to shake his head as you approach to be able to speak to you.
“So I’m guessin’ he’s not gonna like this.” He reaches to touch your waist, fingers pressing warmly into the fabric.
You chew on the inside of your cheek a moment, looking up at him. “Do you like it?”
He smirks gently, pulling on your elbow to turn you around. He doesn’t reply but you feel suddenly naked under his gaze as your bare back is exposed to him. He takes his time finding the zipper and slowly draws it up into place, fixing the little hook at the top. His hands rest against your shoulders and guide down, squeezing your arms before letting you go.
“Get your shoes. We’re already late.”
You let out a long sigh that somehow turns into a pout, making him smile, “We could stay here, you could give more wisecracks about my bedroom decorum.”
Austin smirks and grabs your purse from where it’s seated on the bed as you slip your heels back on. “As amazing as that sounds, that’s not what you’re payin’ me for.”
And the words sound sour, swallowing them down, nodding your head as you leave the bedroom with him.
--
The wedding itself isn’t actually terrible—it’s beautiful in a way that would make any woman envious. Lots of flowers and gold designs and as you watch the entire ceremony take place, you have moments where you wonder why you’re here. Was it really that important for you to show up? And not only that, but pay a date to be here? You keep going back and forth, like a serious game of tug-of-war.
Why did it matter if you showed up alone? Or with Jill?
Austin helps you with your coat, his hand on your lower back as you walk out of the church and towards the reception hall which is being held in this beautiful botanical garden that has rooms you can rent for things like this.
People begin to pile into the building, pausing at the coat check before heading into the reception all, and it’s right there that you suddenly feel like bolting. Truth is? Todd was your boyfriend for years before your breakup (a breakup that might have never happened if you hadn’t realized he was cheating, because clearly he hadn’t taken the initiative until it was too late). And it’s probably so stupid that you remained friends with him, that you were invited to this wedding, that you for some reason care about what he thinks—even now.
But you do.
You should have just moved on and thrown the wedding invitation in the trash but…feelings don’t always come in black and white. You constantly live in a shade of gray.
And you’re worried someone is going to see right through you tonight.
Austin squeezes your hand, getting your attention as you remain grounded by the coat check. He’s patient, waiting until your gaze meets his own. “You’re shakin’.” His other hand covers the one he’s already holding.
You nod your head and offer a smile you don’t feel. “I thought this would be easy. Having you here as a distraction, smiling at all the right times and drinking too much wine in a nice dress,” You shrug your one shoulder, “It doesn’t change how I feel.”
Despite the small amount of privacy the coat check wall provides, you can feel eyes on you two from different parts of the room; people slipping past to get a glass of champagne from the cash bar, fluttering in-between hors d'oeuvres tables and congratulating the couple. Guests who know who you are, who are whispering about you. You can hear Todd a few feet away; big laughs and too loud discussions that tell you he’s a little drunk but genuinely happy.
Or maybe this is all in your head.
“Look, I think you were gonna feel this way no matter if you came alone or with someone.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But you can still do all the other things you mentioned,” Austin leans in, brushes his lips over your cheekbone as he talks, “Drink too much wine in a beautiful dress and smilin’ definitely doesn’t hurt.”  
He pulls back and you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him again. To feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, back outside, to his car, away from this place where you feel like you have to be someone you’re not.
Austin grasps your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, waiting until your eyes meets his own again. He leans forward to brush your lips together, gently, more to distract you than anything else because it’s not a kiss.
“Women hire me because they want to feel wanted and if that’s what you need to hear, then fine, I do want you, Y/N.” You let out a breath that sounds too shaky for your own good, your knees slightly buckling. All the other gazes you once felt on you fade away, until it’s only you and Austin in an empty botanical garden.
“But hearin’ that doesn’t matter until you want things for yourself. You want someone to believe in you? You want to feel confident? Wanted?” His hand falls to your waist, “Good enough?”
You swallow thickly, his words reaching something that’s still raw inside of you, that still hurts to think about. You want to pull away, nearly do, but instead surrender to his weight against you. It’s not his fault that he does a better job of reading you than you do looking in a mirror.
“Then it has to come from you first.”
You shake your head as he pulls away, his hand very simply returning to yours as you both move towards the cash bar. “I know you think you know me from a few meetings and a detailed email request. But you don’t.” Your words at least sound stronger than you feel.
Austin looks at you over his shoulder and smiles but says nothing in return.
--
Maybe the problem is, he does know you, even from the simplest interactions. Maybe you’re just not used to being seen. Todd never saw you, even when you gave him so many chances to try. You suppose at that point you need to want to try.
You’re seated at a table that has mostly co-workers and friends and you attempt not to cringe when someone asks you how you know the bride and groom. Austin swoops in and responds that they’re friends, his arm stretched out over the back of your chair. You’re grateful because the words we dated are sitting in your throat like a lump, difficult to swallow over.
The night spins forward, you’re able to avoid the bride and groom for the duration of it, just enjoying food and a little bit too much wine and hanging out with Austin. There are long conversations where you get to know one another, fill one another in about things that are real, beyond the layers of this fake-date situation.
It’s nice, seeing him in that light, getting to know him as if you’d bumped into him at a bar and enjoyed his company.
You almost wish that was the case, instead.
His arm squeezes around your waist as you both dance on the dance floor, his jacket on the back of his chair, dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’re definitely a little tipsy, the room is rose-colored, but all in all? It feels like a crisis has been avoided, you’re actually having a good time.
“Can I get you another glass of wine?” Austin asks, brushing his lips over your forehead, “Maybe some cookies from the dessert table?”
You grin, “You know me so well.” And it’s not a line, somehow, you’ve been craving cookies for the past half hour.
Austin smiles, nods, squeezes your waist and leaves you to do just that. You somehow ache with missing the heat of his body once he’s gone—and that’s how you know you’re slightly in over your head. You have to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—the way Austin talks to you or looks at you, the way his hands travel over your body, the slight brush of his lips against your own.
It's all a lie.
A lie that you paid for.
Running a hand over your forehead, you turn and nearly bump into someone, blinking as you look up and—
“Todd.”
Your ex smiles, “Hey—I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you would.”
Neither was I, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Chewing on your lower lip, you’re struck with being unsure of what to say, scanning the crowd for Austin before clearing your throat, “Uhm, everything has been beautiful.”
Todd smiles, nodding, taking a look around for his bride. “Thank you. Are you uh, here with Jill?”
You open and close your mouth like a goldfish until you feel that familiar arm slide around you. “No this is Austin,” You take the glass of wine and have a hearty sip and it instantly makes your head spin.
Todd clears his throat and even though he’s smiling, it’s clear he’s giving Austin a once-over. He did not expect you to be here with someone. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend that wasn’t Jill.” He kinda laughs, like maybe it’s a joke that you don’t have many other close friends other than her.
But Austin is quick to smile, “Actually, I’m her boyfriend.”
And there it is, the look on Todd’s face that you were after this whole time. It’s quick, gone almost as soon as it appears, but lingers in his eyes. Regret, maybe even jealousy. Even though his wife appears by his side and introductions are exchanged.
Luckily the conversation doesn’t last very long, the bride and groom are swept towards other people, more dancing. Which is good because you’re pretty sure you noticed that the bride couldn’t keep her eyes off of Austin.
What a couple her and Todd make.
Downing the rest of the wine, you set it on the table, letting out a slow breath. Austin keeps his hands firm on your hips and you can’t quite meet his eyes. You’re not quite sure how…this wasn’t what you expected, nor wanted.
Just feels like a big mistake.
“Wanna get out of here?” He asks quietly, seeming to read your mind.
You nod and he keeps his arm around you until you make it outside and reach his car.
--
That last glass of wine did you zero favors and by the time you make it to your front door, you’re dropping your keys instead of sliding them into the lock. Austin smiles a little, picking them up and unlocking everything, pushing the door open. You’ve got a firm hand on his shirt because you’re swaying slightly, almost a little afraid of what might happen if you let go.
What if all of this is one weird dream?
“Where are we going?” You ask as he comes inside, closing the door behind him.
“Water n’bed.” Austin replies as he guides you into the living room.
You scrunch your nose and look to the ceiling, definitely knocking yourself off balance as the room spins. Austin lets out a short grunt as he catches you, steadying you against his chest.
“In that order? That’s so boring.”
He chuckles slightly, guiding you both until he has you in front of the couch, encouraging you to sit. “You got somethin’ else you’d rather do?”
You can’t help but grin at the question, poking at his chest. “I think you know what I’d rather like to do.” It’s like hot lava pouring from your lips, you can’t seem to stop it even though you know you’ll have burns later.
Austin hums under his breath but doesn’t respond, concentrates instead on keeping you on the couch once you’re seated.
“Stay there,” He says when you try to get up, holding onto your shoulders and pressing you gently down. “You good or you gonna slip off?” There’s an amused smile pulling handsomely at his lips as he tilts his head down to look at you, slipping his thumb and forefinger along your chin.
“Good, I’m so good.” You nod, determined to give him responses that make sense. You just wish the room would stop spinning.
Only when he feels like you mean it does he pull away from you. You closes your eyes as your fingers grip the cushion, trying to hold yourself in place. None of this really helps and instead you just end up feeling nauseas, forcing your eyes to open so you can see Austin.
He’s taken his jacket off, tie gone and shirt unbuttoned a bit, and seeing his chest and forearms makes heat unwantedly pool between your legs and you lick your lips, trying to focus on what he has in his hands.
“He…he honestly didn’t think I’d be there with anyone.”
A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows and he pauses, “What?”
You swallow, not sure if your trail of thought makes sense. “Todd. Jerk.” You give as an explanation.
Something passes over Austin’s face but it’s gone as soon as it appears and he crouches in front of you, his one hand slipping over your knee a moment, “Do you actually care what he thinks?”
You hold his gaze for a long moment before shaking your head. He hums softly, squeezing, his thumb between your thighs and it’s really too distracting.
“Then fuck him; neither of those two seemed like they should be giving relationship advice.”
You giggle something ridiculous and cover your face with your hand a moment, glad you were able to make sense of all that even though you probably didn’t need to bring it up.
“You got anythin’ like a long t-shirt?” He changes the subject as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get pants on you.”
You huff out a sound and rub a hand over your face, most likely smearing makeup in the worst way. “That’s alright, I like bein’ pantless.” You reach over and is happy you don’t tumble, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder to get his attention. “Upstairs, first drawer on the right.”
He’s back and forth quickly; makes you wonder how long you’ve actually been sitting there.
Him undressing you is a blur; you note that he does his best to dip his gaze when he can to give you a little privacy. Just enough that you can figure out that your head doesn’t go into one of the arm holes and assists when you starts whining that you can’t get it right. You throw your wedding dress aside and kicks off your heels, letting out a soft huff when Austin disappears into the kitchen.
He comes back with a warm washcloth that smells like lilac soap and he waits until your gaze focuses on him before he asks whether you can do this yourself.
You nod a little absently, taking the washcloth from him and wiping your makeup off before handing it back to him. You pull as many bobbypins as you can find from your hair and toss them onto the coffee table, pulling your strands back up into a bun before collapsing face first into the couch.
You barely feel the couch dip as you smush your face into a pillow, blankets being draped over your shoulders.
--
When you wake up, you don’t automatically remember where you are.
You lift your head and groan softly, pinching your eyes with your thumb and forefinger trying to get the pounding to stop. There’s a soft blue light casting shadows on the walls of the living room and oh, that’s right, you’re home. Austin brought you home last night.
You swallow and nearly sit up too fast, leaning up on your elbows because oh, oh fuck, now you remember. A wave of nausea crashes down on you for moving and you flutter your eyes closed briefly and hope that helps. When you feels confident enough to fix your gaze on something other than the inside of your eyelids, you turn to look at Austin who’s sitting up in one of the lounge chairs nearby against a few pillows, watching TV.
He didn’t leave. He stayed with you the entire night.
The sound from the TV isn’t loud enough to be heard but you can tell he does this often, eyes on the screen, just absorbing the images that flicker to life. His head dips to look over at you when you move; he looks tired. You really hope he didn’t sit up to just…keep an eye on you, making sure you slept alright.
You clear your throat, the sound scratchy and dry regardless of your trying, “Am I dead?”
Austin smirks a little and stands to come and sit by your legs, handing you a glass of water that’s on the coffee table. “Here. You passed out before I could get you to drink any.”
You sigh softly and close your eyes, moving to sit up further and is glad to see the room isn’t spinning anymore. “Lovely.” You drink deeply after a few tentative sips to make sure you can keep it down.
“You stayed.”
“I did.” Austin’s quiet for a few moments, playing with the corners of one of the blankets. Clearly he’s not going to elaborate. “You got a headache?”
You hum an affirmative response but it’s nothing water and Advil can’t cure. You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes again for a few moments to avoid the blue light spilling into the room from the TV. You give yourself some time to sip your water before you open them again, setting the glass down on the table. There’s cookies there too, from last night. Austin kept them.
You sense embarrassment licking at your nerve endings, feeling a little ridiculous for your behavior. You should really know better than to let yourself go like that, especially since it doesn’t take too many glasses of wine in a row for it to happen.
“Sober?” He asks and there’s a tilt to his voice that you don’t like, far too amused.
You groan and turn your head to look at him, trying to muster up a glare that doesn’t stick. “Unfortunately.” You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to not even think about what you might look like.
You’re just glad you didn’t vomit.
A deep breath settles in and out of your lungs before you turn your head to look at Austin, the light of the TV casting beautiful shadows on his face. Your eyes skitter over the scruff beginning on his jawline and your fingers itch to follow. You clear your throat, getting his attention, and he turns his head to look at you.
“I’m sorry for getting plastered.” You smile a little because he does; that same amusement back on his face, though it doesn’t bother you this time around. “I’m shocked that you do weddings.”
You allow yourself to laugh a little, shaking your head like it’ll somehow clear the fuzzy memories of him bringing you back to your home, tripping over yourself. You regret the way you’ve carried yourself, but a tiny part of you is glad you decided to let yourself go, to enjoy the open bar and let your emotions run a little rampant for once.
You’re so used to keeping everything inside, to holding it all in. For once you didn’t.
Austin’s chewing on words he’s not saying, you can see the hesitance in his expression, wanting to say something but unsure if he should. You wait, don’t press, and eventually,
“Admittedly, I haven’t done a wedding in a while.” He shakes his head, “Because they tend to be messy in a way that I never expect.”
You wince, rubbing the back of your neck because…clearly you hadn’t planned on making a fool out of yourself but Austin quickly continues to explain,
“I don’t mean you.” He turns a bit to lean against the couch, his shoulder pressed along the cushions. Austin licks his lips, his eyes tracing your jawline and lips, slipping down your neck and collarbone enough to make you shiver.
“In your request, you said somethin’ like, ‘I don’t want my ex  to feel like he’s taken something from me. Something that’s mine and will always be mine’.”
You search his eyes for a moment and when his finally meet yours, something warm and aching starts in your chest, blooming outward like a flower only meant to grow at night. You swallow thickly, “You remember that?” Because you kinda…bared you soul in that request for a date service. You hadn’t meant to come across so desperate but…you were also just being honest.
“I have a very good memory,” He attempts to wave this off, and you want to tell him not to—that what he’s saying matters. Austin’s seeing you, over walls you didn’t realize you had up after all this time.
“You said kind of implied that you wanted Todd to regret cheating on you, but I think you really meant that you wanted him to see that he didn’t break you.” He licks his lips and trails his pinky finger along your jawline as he curls loose hair behind your ear. “I’ve met a lot of women in similar situations, and not all of them have handled it like you.”
A laugh slips out of your throat, something you can’t stop. You’re trying to break the tension gathering in the room, something heavy and thick like warm cotton settling over both of you. Handled it? You haven’t exactly done that well, have you? If last night is any indication.
“What, they didn’t hire a male escort and get piss drunk?”
He smiles gently, shaking his head. “They let their exes break them because they couldn’t figure out who they were without them.”
The warmth in your chest threatens to burst and you wish for a moment that you could see yourself the way Austin does, so clearly, like everything is laid out before him, all he has to do is read.
“But not you.” It barely leaves his mouth before you close the distance between them.
The heat erupts in a single kiss, both of Austin’s hands tangling themselves in your hair, pulling it loose from your haphazard bun. He kisses you like you’ve always wanted to be kissed, even though you hadn’t realized it was something that was missing until now.
He inches you forward, forcing you to move until you’re straddling his waist, blankets getting caught and tangled in-between. Anything that’s been building up suddenly releases into you both, like a wave crashing, heated breaths against skin and not being able to get close enough. Austin tugs off your long t-shirt and a shiver travels down your skin as you reach up and automatically unclasp your bra.
You sit there for a moment, almost in the wake of realizing what you’ve done, and you watch Austin’s gaze. His eyes drink you in, hands still on your waist, trailing up your sides, thumb slipping underneath one of your breasts to press against your ribcage. The touch is intimate enough to cause something sharp in your throat, thick swallowing for it to disappear. You lean forward, presses your foreheads together and you kiss again.
You’re fumbling to get blankets down, to move everything out of your way and Austin flips your positions, easing you down onto your back along the cushions. He rifles for something in his suit jacket that’s nearby while you slip your hips up to slide your underwear down and off and away. He’s got too many layers on and you itch to immediately remove his shirt when he’s overtop of you again.
Toned skin greets you and you can’t help but touch, sink your fingers in, drag your nails. The noises that leave Austin’s throat are enough to single handedly build the heat beginning in your lower belly, something you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing. He moves only long enough to take his pants off, tossing them to the side, and he holds your gaze—
He waits.
You swallow and know this is such a bad idea, that nothing good can come from this. But wasn’t it Austin who urged you to figure out what you want? You want to feel confident? Wanted? Good enough?
Then it has to come from you first.
There’s a half-nod in Austin’s direction before he’s slipping a hand down between you, to put a condom on but also—
You moan, rolling your hips as you feel his fingers slide against you, inside of you. He teases, rolls flesh between his thumb and forefinger, lips falling to your neck to leave kisses that eventually find your mouth again.
He takes his time even though you wish he wouldn’t, building you up and letting you down easy before pressing inside. You gasp and your back arches, hips rolling forward, Austin leaning down to capture your mouth again, to absorb your sounds. You wrap your legs around him, which makes moving a little difficult, but you don’t want him to move too far away, want to constantly feel him—keep you both connected.
Austin nips at your lower lip with his own, not taking you long to build up what you’ve started. Pleasure circles in your veins, pulling you towards an end that you doesn’t want to reach yet. He doesn’t stop, keeps moving his hips forward at a quickening pace and you dig your nails into his back.
You barely have time to warn him before you’re cumming, though because your bodies are molded together, you think he already knows—probably knew before you did. He grunts as he loses himself in you, his face falling to your neck, gentle panting and lazy kissing.
You tilt your head back so your throat is exposed, your hands slipping down his back and settling on his waist, his skin a little slick to the touch. He lays there for a long few moments and you take one another in, his chest pressing into your own as you both breathe.
He pulls back too soon for your liking, but you don’t have the energy to tell him to stop. Austin cleans himself up, slipping onto the couch again, this time behind you, and pulls you close. You turn on your side, blankets coming up over your shoulder as you puzzle-piece both of you together, your face hiding in his neck, already falling asleep.
Austin says nothing, which is fine with you, he doesn’t need to say anything. His lips find your shoulder, a few kisses here and there, hands intertwining in your hair.
You finally figure out what you want—
and you want this. You want him.
--
You wake up before Austin does, pulling yourself from the couch and disappearing into the bathroom near the kitchen. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you kinda shake your head before drawing up Jill’s text messages on your phone.
Y/N: I think I messed up.
You wash your face and feel a little more human, sitting down on the closed toilet seat as she pings you back.
Jill: oh no, what happened? Jill: please tell me Austin didn’t turn out to be a serial killer
You laugh, your hand covering your mouth. Jesus. A small, hysterical part of you wonders if that’d be easier to deal with.
Y/N: the wedding went fine, he brought me back home, stayed the night Y/N: may or may not have had sex with him on my couch this morning??
Jill instantly tries to call you and you press the red button—you can’t talk to her when he’s still here.
Y/N: I can’t, he’s still here
Jill: !!!!!! Jill: girl omg— Jill: how was it? 😉
Running a hand over your face, you wonder if you should have ever said anything. Then again, there’s this small smile tugging the corners of your mouth. In general, you know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done—both of you are consenting adults. But then there’s this whole other layer of…paying him to be your date. It’s not like you paid him for sex or anything but…
You kinda can’t help but wonder how many jobs he takes that end up like this.
Y/N: it was perfect but that’s not the point
Jill: so what is the point?
You sigh softly, tapping on your cash app and just…wondering. So many insecurities and questions and wonderings wrapping around you like a blanket, except it’s far too tight, suffocating almost. Taking in a breath, you set your phone down on the counter, looking up when there’s a knock on the bathroom door.
“Y/N?” Austin asks, “You alright?”
Reaching over to grasp the knob, you open the door with a soft smile, “Yeah.”
Austin looks ridiculously adorable slept on. His hair is slightly askew, skin looking warm, a soft, tired look in his eyes. God, you can’t believe he’s been here for so long in these wedding clothes, back in his slacks and a white undershirt.
“I uh,” He clears his throat, “M’gonna head home. Shower, change. But…”
You lick your lips, your stomach flip-flopping with eagerness.
“I was thinkin’ I could come back later; we could talk?”
God, talking sounds like such a great idea. Not to mention you could shower too, put yourself together, feel more like someone capable of having a serious conversation. So you nod with a soft smile—that sounds perfect.
And then—
You can pinpoint the exact moment that Austin glances to the sink and sees the cash app open because his expression changes, like a shadow passing over but instead of dissipating—it stays, darkening the color of his eyes. A breath catches in your throat as you straighten your shoulders, words on your lips and stuck on your tongue. Nothing comes out.
His gaze flickers up from the phone to your eyes and what you see there is like a cold bucket of ice water, anger but…deeper, it’s—
“Not what it looks like.” You finally say, breaking the tension into pieces with a hammer.
Austin hums, nodding his head and licking his lips. He’s trying very hard to speak without sounding annoyed, “What’s it like then?” He asks, the words daggered. “Cause it looks like you were about to pay me for services rendered.”
You shake your head and stand from the toilet on wobbly knees. Austin takes a step back from you, almost like a caged animal, getting ready to bolt. And then you realize, right, he’s not angry, he’s hurt.
“No—”
“Don’t lie to me,” He grounds out, the words chewed on between his teeth.
A shuddered noise leaves your lips because you can tell you’re losing it, this conversation slipping like sand between your fingers. He’s not going to be willing to listen to you if you confirm he’s right, that you had thought about it—if you admit you weren’t sure what you were doing or what sleeping together meant.
You distantly know that this isn’t going to end well, no matter what you say. Austin tore his walls down in front of you, exposed himself, and now he looks like a fool for doing it. Even if it’s on accident, you’ve hurt him, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to backpedal without looking guilty.
“I thought about it,” You admit after a moment. “I wasn’t…” The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel cheap; you know that this thing started as a transaction but also that something changed last night.
“Nah, it’s good. You were payin’ me to do a job, right?” Austin turns to walk back to the living room, gather up his things. And it’s like…you have no idea what you can possibly say, how you can stop him.
Your legs carry you forward, “Austin, don’t.” You sigh and puts a hand on your lips, suddenly feeling nauseas as he moves too quick for you to stop him.
“Business is business. You can stop feelin’ so guilty,” He straightens his shoulders before grabbing his jacket, slipping it on. Metaphorically it feels like a shield, another layer he’s building back up between them both, shutting you out.
He can’t possibly leave like this, right?
You’re practically stumbling over your own feet as he makes it to the front door, “Please don’t walk away.”
His hand pauses on the doorknob, just for a moment, like he might actually be considering your words. But then he yanks the door open and slams it shut once he’s outside.
You don’t go after him.
--
Time goes on.
You expect that Austin might reach out to you—to apologize, to start over, or maybe even request the unfulfilled payment that he was supposed to receive after the wedding date. But nothing, it’s radio silent…and you think that’s worse.
You want to reach out to him on your own, but you’re not even sure where to begin. How to apologize for thoughts that are incomplete in your head. How to express emotions that are sitting at the bottom of your ribcage.
You’re just hoping for a chance to apologize and explain yourself, even though you’re not entirely sure you deserve it. Is this really it? Going back to business as usual and pretend they never met one another?
You sigh as you hear a few knocks on your door and hate how it feels like hope, quickly moving from your kitchen to tug it open and see Jill on the other side. You give her a small smile, letting her inside,
“I got your twenty texts, you alright?”
You run a hand over your forehead and shake your head, moving towards the kitchen for Jill to follow. You offer her a cup of coffee, sitting back at the counter with your own. Wrapping your hands around the ceramic, you glance up at your friend,
“I screwed up.”
Jill sighs softly, grabbing a cup for the coffee because clearly, she’s going to need it. “Tell me what happened; your texts were all hysteria and no detail.”
You map out the whole thing from start to finish, the chapel, the reception, the night of, the morning after—your voice drops on intimate details, like somehow you have to keep them exactly that. Intimate.
“Damn, Y/N.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I know…it was an accident.” You swallow. “The money part, anyways.”
She adds a few spoonfuls of sugar to her mug, stirring. “Does tall, blonde and brooding know that?”
You let your hand fall from your face, eyes focusing out the window above the sink at the city sounds and sights. Suddenly a dark blue gaze rekindles in your memory, the hurt there, wounded and refusing to let you past his boundaries again.
“I tried to tell him; he wouldn’t listen.”
Jill hums under her breath a moment and shuffles, “Maybe give him some time? Try him tomorrow.”
Easier said than done, “I don’t even know where he lives. He’s not going to pick up the phone if I try to call him; texts are useless.”
Your friend’s quiet for a few moments, considering—and then a sound leaves her lips and you picture a lightbulb going off on her facial expression. “But you know where he works.”
--
You stand outside the café that Austin works at for what feels like a long time, staring at the sign and pacing back and forth to your car parked down the street. You really hope no one is watching you because you probably looks crazy; you feel crazy. You can’t just approach this man where he works, can you? You don’t even know if he’s working today.
But it’s…worth a try, right? Like one last shot before you just drop it.
You’re not sure that if the situations were reversed, he’d show up at your front door, so. Or maybe you’re just hoping he would.
So after spending ten minutes contemplating what to do, you finally force yourself to walk up the café door and make your way inside. It’s a hole in the wall but filled to the brim with people at tiny circular tables, waiting in line to place their order with a beautiful blonde cashier and satisfied customers adding sugar and creamer to their coffees at a station to your left.
The heady scent of fresh coffee and baked goods slam into you like a truck, leaving you almost breathless. This place blends in when it should stick out—she wonders if you didn’t know Austin if you’d come in to order an iced coffee just walking by on the street.
Your eyes graze behind the counter until you finally spot him further down, filling baked goods trays in a window that were once empty. A ton of questions hit you at once; did he make those baked goods that are at his fingertips? How does he separate the time between the café and the stand-in job? What are you going to say to him?
Before you can fully approach him, Austin glances up—and spots you.
He’s not happy to see you but he doesn’t look as pissed off as the last time you saw him, so, you consider that progress. You swallow as you walk towards the counter and your hand settles on the top of the glass, the lights above the pastries warming your palm.
“Hi.” That’s it? That’s all you can say? This conversation is going to be just as painful as the last one.
Austin doesn’t have a chance to open his mouth because another worker, a blonde girl, rushes to the counter because she must be on register, “Hi,” She smiles, bright, “We have orange scones on sale today. What can I get you?”
You smile gently at her, glancing at Austin and wondering if he’s going to step in or just…continue not saying anything to you. You suppose you don’t blame him.
“I’ll uhm, take a hazelnut latte and one of those scones,” You nod, reaching for your wallet in your purse, “Thank you.”
“I got the rest of this, Chloe,” Austin steps in as you stick your card into the reader. “Thanks.” He watches her go before turning his attention back to you, customers passing by and receiving orders that he’s already packed at the end of the counter. He hands over your receipt.
“You stalkin’ me now?” He asks but he’s not amused, drumming his fingers on top of the counter.
You let out a slow breath and he moves to fill your order, working the espresso machine with practiced ease, “You won’t text me back.”
“Maybe that’s cause I didn’t wanna talk to you,” He says pointedly before motioning towards your right, “You skipped the line.”
“I didn’t want to order anything, I just wanted to talk.”
He smirks but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and he grabs an orange scone, wrapping it in a napkin. “Look at you, really learned how to be honest about what you want.”
“You taught me how.” You insist, trying to catch his gaze. When you finally do, you hold it there, trying to will him to listen to you—because you’re not grasping at straws, meeting him, spending time with him…being with him really taught you about parts of yourself that were missing.
Or maybe not missing, exactly, but lying dormant.
“I just want five minutes of your time, please, then I’ll leave you won’t hear from me again.”
Austin lets out a long patient sigh with a shake of his head, something between aggravation mixed with a touch of being impressed—you’re persistent, at least. He’s going to hear you out and suddenly all the words mix in a blender and sink to the bottom of your ribs; you’re almost unsure of how to put this but all you can do is try.
“You’ve been right since we first met; I didn’t know how to want things for myself even though I expected so much out of other people.”
You chew on your lower lip a moment, eyes tracing over the handsome lines of his face—now was not the time to get distracted.
“This whole thing caught me off guard, I wasn’t prepared to want you…and not just as my stand-in date, but you.”
He doesn’t hold your gaze and maybe that’s okay, he busies himself with getting other people orders, keeping the line moving but you can tell he’s still listening to you. He’s still intent on hearing you through…even though you’re almost certain it’s not going to make a difference.
You can tell by his expression, by those walls remaining firm; they’re not budging for you.
Not again.
“The money thing was a mistake. You were right, I did open up my app and think about it because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what this thing was or if I was…imaging how I felt. So I fucked up but…so did you for not sticking around and talking to me.”
Austin’s shoulders straighten; he doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. A rod appears up his spine, his posture almost towering despite the glass case between them.
“I just…that’s it,” You swallow, your thumb running over the scone in your one hand and picking up your finished latte with another. “That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for disrupting your work.”
You turn quickly, can’t take the look in his eyes anymore, the bustle of other people around you. You’ve said what you needed to—you should feel more complete than before, right? Because at least he knows your side of things.
It’s his turn.
You push the door open, the welcome bell dinging after you as you leave.
He doesn’t come after you.
--
You try to shake your head as Jill orders another shot, but can’t quite stop her because the woman has a mind of her own when it comes to having a good time.
“No,” You crinkle your nose.
Jill laughs, “Oh come on—one more. You’re not calling it early already, are you? We can get fries after this.”
You sigh, a bit dramatically, but how can you turn down fries? “Fine.” You shake your head, running a hand over your face as you sit at the counter of your frequent bar, “I’ll be back though.”
You slide off the barstool, motioning she should save your seat as you put your purse on it. She grins, cups your cheeks with her hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. You shoo her off, moving through the crowd to the restroom. Once you’ve used the bathroom and spend a little time with a cold and wet paper towel to the back of your neck, you come back out and nearly run someone over—
And blink because—
“Austin.”
It’s been a few months since you’ve seen him but fuck, he looks just as amazing as he did when you tried to explain yourself in the café. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, boots and a white button down, he’s got a leather jacket on as well, just a bit more scruff to his face.
“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna be here.” But it’s…contemplative, thoughtful, like he might have actually planned on trying to find you in the bar where you met.
You feel like the world might be spinning off its axis. “Here I am.”
He smiles a little, glancing over his shoulder and fuck, you wonder if he’s here with someone and—you’re pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t cause some adverse reaction. No punch in your gut that you completely screwed everything up. Time, it seems, does heal some wounds.
Maybe not heal, scar at the very least.
“I saw you post somethin’ on your instastory and I was…well I was hopin’…” He kinda trails off and two thoughts slam into your body like a freight train. One, he sounds…nervous? Which you feel like is very unlike him, given what you’ve been through together. And second? It actually sounds like he knew you were here and he meant to find you on purpose.
“Can we talk?” He asks, “Maybe outside?”
“Yes,” And god, you hope you don’t say that too fast. “Fresh air sounds good.”
As you begin to walk outside with him, you text Jill letting her know where you’re going (and with who). She sends you exactly three text messages in response that you don’t dare look at.
You take in a deep breath in once you get outside, the cool air settling over you like a bucket of cold water. You almost wish you grabbed your jacket from the bar but…dragging Austin over there towards Jill would have been such a bad idea.
It’s fine—the air is refreshing, a bit sobering and this conversation probably won’t last long either way. Taking in a breath, you turn to look at him, a soft smile on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself.
“So…”
Austin clears his throat, “You uh—?” He motions to his jacket and you’re not quite strong enough to deny his offer, so you gently nod your head. Austin slips off his leather jacket and hands it to you and you put it on.
A soft noise of approval leaves your lips as your arms go through the sleeves, a little bit long, feeling perfect though when you zip it up. The lingering scent of his cologne and skin is enough to almost knock you on your knees.
“Thank you.” You whisper, curling your hair around your ear.
You know that Austin is gathering his thoughts, but waiting almost somehow feels worse. You’re just…not sure what to do with yourself other than stare at him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.
“I shouldn’t have left you like that,” He finally says, “At your place?” It’s like the tension start to unwind from your shoulder at that, you almost have to physically swallow over your words so you can let him speak. “Just…felt like what we did, it was real—and—”
“It was real,” You assure him, can’t allow him to think otherwise, “I know this is going to sound cliché but…opening that cash app had everything to do with me, not you. I wasn’t second-guessing what happened.”
Austin gently waves you off, “It’s not your fault, I—I’m so used to things bein’ a business transaction that I just jumped to conclusions.”
You give him a small smile and it feels good? to be on the same page after all this time but…it’s not like, “It’s okay,” You curl your hair around your ear, “I’m not sure where something like this could go. I wouldn’t ask you to quit a job that’s clearly lucrative.”
Austin nods softly, “Well you don’t have to, because I already have.”
You’re not sure why what he says doesn’t register right away, you’re kinda just staring at him, wrapped up in his leather jacket, people passing you both on the sidewalk as you stand outside this bar.
Then you blink, “What?”
He smirks, running a hand through his hair as he nods, “Yeah, I uh—just didn’t want to do it anymore.”
You feel like your brain might be short circuiting, “But about acting? What about L.A.?”
A soft laugh rumbles in his throat, “I can still do L.A. Bein’ an actor isn’t goin’ anywhere.”
And you know that he still has a café job, that he can find other jobs to satisfy what he wants in terms of collecting money but…somehow you’re worried he’s traded one thing in for another. Even though Austin doesn’t look like he has any regrets as he takes a step towards you. His hands gently rest on your arms, sliding down, like he’s waiting for you to push him away.
When you don’t—
“You're not the only one goin' after what they want.”
You can’t stop a small laugh from slipping from your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around you automatically, drawing you closer, his one hand cupping the back of your neck.
It feels like you’re kissing for a long time, or maybe it’s just felt too long since you’ve kissed. Either way, pulling away makes you feel a bit breathless and Austin smiles, pressing your foreheads together for a moment.
It feels like starting over, or maybe even better, a new chapter.
289 notes · View notes
lovely-keii · 4 months
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being their sibling
characters: tsukishima kei, oikawa tooru, suna rintarou
a/n: i write a fic every time i rewatch hq LOL sorry ik i said im abandoning this blog buuuut…happy bday to this blog!! (repost from 1/5 because tags broke :(( )
part 1
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TSUKISHIMA KEI
looks out for you, but he can’t help that hes so emotionally constipated :’( he tries to give you advice because he genuinely is concerned for you but just is unable to word anything properly. see: “you need to stop talking to that person, you’re being a pushover,” but he just wants you to realize you’re letting people walk all over you.
god forbid he has to comfort you because hes the wrong brother for that - you’re definitely in better hands with akiteru. he might walk in on you crying and contemplate if he’ll even say anything or just ignore it flat out, or he’ll say something like “don’t cry, you look stupid.” if you cry more, he’ll end up swallowing his pride and sitting next to you. he’ll groan and reluctantly, “fine, spill it.”
other than that, he’s going to be a sneaky little prick. definitely the type to take revenge on you if you annoy him. you eat the last piece of chocolate he was saving and suddenly you find your charger hidden deep under your bed. also loves to take things without your permission. “why? i’m just using it, it’s not like you need it now.”
if someone picks a fight with you, he’ll be quick to extract you from the situation before saying something ruder and harsher than usual to the person. and if you tell him you like someone from his team, he’s going to look at you like you’re crazy. “are you insane?!” he’s honestly more bewildered than upset. doesn’t let you anywhere near the gym. he can make an exception for yamaguchi though. “at least it’s not hinata…or worse, kageyama.”
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OIKAWA TOORU
your life is never boring with this guy as your brother. you’re literally being dragged everywhere, practices, shopping, team events… you’re like “i’m not even part of the team.” he goes “we can fix that!” and the next day you find out that you’re the manager for the boys’ volleyball team. huh, wonder how that happened.
oh my god, he MILKS you being his manager. “hold my drink, my fans are calling.” “y/n get my towel please.” you’re absolutely seething at the power trip that this guy is on. eventually, you start doing all that for his other team members and not for him, and he gets so whiney. “y/n you’ll get big ugly iwaizumi a towel but not your own sweet brother?!” that earns him a spike to the head from iwaizumi.
he tells you all the gossip about the school, because believe me, he knows A LOT of things. he’ll do his skin care while he forces you to listen to his gossip, cue him getting mad if you try to leave. everyone realizes why you two are siblings when you two walk down the halls and pull the exact same faces at the people he’s told you about in his gossip.
he makes you his little scapegoat for his fangirls. “oh, you want my number? you’ll have to ask y/n for that, they keep my phone with them during practice!” (you dont) “now, why don’t you girls hand all these gifts to my lovely sibling for me?” (you almost immediately chuck them at his face when you see him) but you know the best way to get back at him? when he sees you even slightly conversing with ushijima or kageyama, all hell breaks loose.
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SUNA RINTAROU
the devil if the devil was your brother. he takes the ugliest pictures of you, when you’re asleep, when you’re yelling, when you’re crying over a movie. he also loves to send you pictures of animals and send a “look at you in this picture, so cute”. he also takes your things without asking and never returns it, you’ll just find it in his bag one day.
he also is one to order you around, and it drives you mad. “pass me the remote, y/n.” “but it’s nearer to you.” “i’ll tell mom that you-” // “y/n get me a drink from the vending machine.” “why would i do that” “remember when you snuck out and i-” // “get my bag too when you get yours.” “no.” “what i post that one picture of you when you’re about to sneeze-”
but he’s always looking out for you. when creeps try to approach you, he’s quick to react by shooting them a nasty glare. he’s a silent kind of care. standing behind you on elevators, walking on the outer side of the sidewalk, staying up late til you come home and just telling you he just couldnt sleep. little do you know, it’s something he’s always done even as a kid. putting more food on your lunch box, holding the corner of tables when you pick something up so you don’t hit your head, returning your things that are sprawled around the house to your room so you don’t lose them.
and if he ever finds you crying over some guy, he sighs and sits down next to you. “why’re you crying over an idiot?” he then makes snappy insults at the expense of the guy, making you laugh. “see? you look better like that. now stop crying and let me get some sleep.” he closes the light and shuts the door on his way out.
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rhey-007 · 5 months
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Viva Las Vegas!
Fernando Alonso x driver!reader
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Summary: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... But not this time.
Warnings/Tags: female reader, mentions of hate comments, mentions of racist comments (literally just a mention nothing specific), fluff... I guess that's it : P
A/N: I FINALLY FINISHED SOMETHING JXVSHHEHRHBRBT I'm so happy haha
So this fic is based on this ↓ request. I hope I lived up to your expectations TwT I honestly think it's a cute little fic and I love the inserts :3
Wordcount: 2925
*:..。o○✨○o。..:*
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You sighed in relief finally leaving the F1 studio after you finished filming Grill the Grid for Las Vegas. You loved doing those, it was a lot of fun but the filming was always the last part of your job for some days and after so many activities before, you were sometimes too tired to think of any answers.
Unfortunately for you, Lando and Carlos approached you the second you left the building, huge smiles plastered on their faces.
“Hi Y/N! How was filming? “
The younger one asked enthusiastically at which you just shook your head.
“What do you need? Cause I’m sure you do need something... “
“Well... We're going to a party to start off this amazing weekend and we were thinking that you might want to join us”
The Spaniard explain making you sigh. They could see you were tired but you never said no to them so they tried their best to convince you.
You could use some party and alcohol after the previous weekend when you crashed your car on almost the very beginning of the race, causing you to be upset and quite nervous ever since.
“Lewis will be there too. Literally everyone will be there! Even Fernando! “
Ah yes... The Fernando card. The forbidden card the boys knew would get you worked up to whatever they wanted.
“Fine... But you have to pick me up! “
You huffed agreeing reluctantly then walked away to get ready. You were going to some club so you decided to put on a thigh length, sparkly lavender dress, some black heels and golden jewelry with some soft makeup.
Lando and Carlos whistled at you as you approached their car and immediately said after you got in.
“Ooooh Fernando’s gonna loooove that~”
Rolling your eyes at their comment you kicked Carlos’ seat so he would finally drive away.
The party was full of Formula workers and drivers, the boys were right, everyone was there. It was hosted in one of Vegas' clubs, one you had no idea about but were glad you decided to join and discovered that magical place.
Carlos and Lando left you just after you walked in so you sat alone by the bar, waiting for Lewis to notice and join you but he was too occupied by the girls.
You sighed heavily ordering a drink and almost spilled it when you felt a hand on your back. You turned around to see those beautiful hazel eyes shining in the colorful lights and a huge grin you oh so loved.
“Hi gorgeous~”
Fernando said sitting down beside you, his hand not leaving your back radiating pleasant warmth.
“Well hello there Mr Alonso~”
You smiled widely at the older man as he checked you out. The light purple dress matched your dark skin perfectly driving the man crazy.
“The guy you dressed so beautifully for is really lucky”
“Oh there is no guy. Unless you want to be him~”
You teased sipping your drink, making a soft, barely visible in the lights blush appear on his face. Fernando noticed you started to get bolder and bolder with your flirting which made you even more attractive in his eyes. He loved confident women.
“I would be honored. May I have this dance then? “
Quickly finishing your drink you grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor where you had a great time the whole night. You felt eyes on yourself the whole time, knowing damn well no one will let you forget about this till the end of your life. But you couldn’t care less, just indulged in the moment.
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The next day you arrived to the Vegas circuit for the grand opening a little hangover with your grid bestie Lewis.
The two of you drove through the paddock on his electric scooter, one earphone in each ear’s listening to Eminem, with Lewis’ chin on your shoulder. You looked like a couple and to some acted like but in fact you considered each others siblings.
Lewis was not only your teammate but also the only person you felt comfortable talking about the racist hate comments you received, as he understood you the best. Being a black woman in an European men dominated sport was not easy. You got a lot of backlash and negative opinions from some fans, coworkers and FIA staff despite being one of the best drivers on the grid.
The only group that fully accepted you were your fellow drivers. They saw you as a precious gem, a little sister they had to defend at all cost, even though you weren’t the youngest.
The one individual that thought otherwise was the oldest one – Fernando Alonso. He didn’t see you as a little girl but as a woman, a very beautiful and gorgeous woman, the object of his desires, that's why he spent the whole previous night by your side, unable to deglue - a thing the whole paddock knew.
So when he noticed you and Lewis pass by his blood boiled. The man knew Lewis was nothing more than a brother to you but couldn’t help the jealousy accumulate inside of himself whenever he saw the two of you together.
“Fernando saw us”
Lewis murmured at which you just shrugged.
“I don’t like how he's looking at you... “
You rolled your eyes with a sigh. After having this conversation with Lewis so many times you already had enough. The man didn’t approve on your behavior relative to each other. He deemed the Spaniard was too old for you, considering your 12 years age gap.
Lewis just wanted the best for you, the best for his little sister and he knew you could do so much better than Fernando. He even arranged you multiple dates with guys he thought would be perfect for you, but you always dismissed them all sometimes not even showing up to the date to Hamilton’s displeasure.
You knew he just wanted good but you found it annoying and unnecessary.
“You’re exaggerating, as always... If you don’t like it so much you should’ve looked after me yesterday and not pick up chicks... “
You remarked before hopping off the scooter and walking in to the Mercedes garage.
Fernando clearly flirted with you whenever he had a chance, so you weren’t surprised seeing him beside your platform along with someone from media filming the whole thing, blowing you a sweet kiss and sending a wink just before you and Lewis were launched for your presentation.
Hamilton shook his head disappointed hearing your giggle. He was opposed to your little ‘relationship’ or whatever you could call it but you couldn’t care less.
Fernando was a really handsome man and your age gap wasn’t something you worried about. The thing that actually worried you was his flirting. As much as you enjoyed it, the man was flirting with literally everybody earning him a status of a womanizer, which drove you crazy.
You wished you were the only one he flirted with. Little did you know that with you he meant it, he really meant it.
By the time the elevator lowered you down the Spaniard was gone. You figured he must have gone to do the interviews, to which you were escorted just after stepping out of the lift.
Later that evening you were sitting in the recording room you rented and recorded your podcast where you talked about working as an F1 driver and answered your fans’ questions. Most of the questions were about your work, some about the relationships with other drivers while some were just mean comments.
When something like that happened you usually just hung up with that person mid their sentence and answered another call as if nothing. You tried not to worry much about hate comments but had to admit that some really got into your brain and heart.
After 3 tiring hours you were almost by the end when someone asked you a very interesting question.
“Well... I was wondering... What do you think about Fernando flirting with you?”
You chuckled softly remembering all the times Nando flirted with you, how your cheeks flushed and the world seemed to stop leaving only the two of you in motion. You wouldn’t admit you loved it, but you truly did, sometimes even fantasized about it.
“You know... It’s not like he’s only flirting with me. I saw him flirt with Lance... Mark... I’m sure you saw those clips too. Fernando’s just a flirtatious guy”
“But what if it’s genuine?”
But what if it’s actually genuine?... You could only wish it was... He'd been doing this for a very long time, yet he never actually invited you on a date, that’s why you doubted it.
“If it was, he would’ve asked me out a long time ago. Unless he’s shy and tries to do it right now through you!”
You joked before thanking the girl and moving on to another person. Good thing it was the last one, because after the previous call the only thing you wanted to do was to drown yourself in your foolish fantasies.
“Last but not least – anonymous. Bring it up!”
“Would you be mad if Fernando actually tried to ask you out through somebody?...”
That voice... You could recognize it everywhere as it lingered behind Fernando almost always. Lance’s scared voice sounded in your earphones making you laugh. You never though Nando was actually too shy to ask you to a date himself, considering his shameless flirting and a status of a womanizer.
“Yes! Is he there with you?”
Silence fell on the other side before quiet bickering could be heard, then Alonso’s voice filled your ears.
“Hi...”
“Hi stranger. Is there something you would like to ask me?”
You smiled widely awaiting his response, legs jumping like crazy from excitement, teeth biting hardly into the bottom lip as the seconds felt like hours.
“Well... Uh... C-can you turn around?”
Frowning you did as he asked, turning in your chair to meet his silhouette waiting outside your glass office with a huge bouquet of field flowers – your favourite. You felt your heart melt at the thought that he remembered such little details about you. You gasped seeing him, that beautiful smile graced his face as he watched you turn back around.
“Couldn’t you just play along!? It could have been so romantic!”
He whined making you shake your head in amusement. You could not believe... The man always made you happy with just him being but this time you felt like on cloud 9.
“So?... What do you say?”
You sighed heavily thanking your audience before quickly dropping everything off and leaving the office.
“Do I have a choice?”
Asking playfully you grabbed Fernando’s arm and greeted his wingman.
“So where are we going?”
Lance dropped you off at one of the most expensive restaurants in Las Vegas, even though you told Fernando some beer and fries in a random bar was enough when he told you where you were going.
You were a little skimpy, coming from not so rich family and always felt chest pain when buying expensive things or when someone bought you something.
Alonso knew it well but he wanted to give you the whole world so since that date he had been showering you with presents, not letting you complain about the price nor giving them away.
“Fernando?...”
“Yes?”
“Please be honest... Why did it took you so long to ask me out?...”
You asked after you ordered your food. That question occupied your mind since you started to flirt with each other. You thought that if that womanizer actually liked you, he would’ve asked you on a date a long time ago, which slowly made you lose faith in the chemistry between you two. The man sighed heavily gathering his thoughts before he responded.
“Well... I have to admit I was scared... I have a big, toe curling crush on you since we’ve met but I guess I was just scared that such a beautiful, smart and young woman won’t take a liking in an old man like me... Even though you were flirting back I just wasn’t sure... “
He confessed. You smiled reassuringly and captured his hands in yours.
“Oh Fernie... You could’ve tried... The worst that could happen would be me rejecting you but I could never... You’re too handsome and wise for me not to fall for you. And don’t you ever again dare call yourself old. Because you’re not. I don’t mind your age and neither should you worry about our age gap. It’s not that big after all...”
“12 years is not a lot?”
Fernando asked with a chuckle earning one back. The man loved hearing and seeing you laugh, especially when he caused it.
“It’s not! I know worse cases!”
You laughed along the man. You’ve spent the night enjoying each other’s company, hoping the day would never end.
You woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and breakfast. You slept in his hotel room, in his bed but nothing happened between you two. Fernando loved you too much to rush anything sexual, prefering to just shower you in sweet kisses and goodnight hugs.
“Buenos días princesa~”(good morning princess)
The man soon walked in, a wooden tray full of food and two mugs of dark liquid in his hands. He sat down beside you and waited for you to sit up before he placed the tray in front of you.
“I’ve made you some breakfast. Your favourite. Chocolate pancakes with strawberries and bananas and caramel latte macchiato... Which I had to order from Starbucks downstairs as I am unable to use the coffee machine. Too complicated for my old mind”
You smiled happily and placed a sweet kiss to his lips before taking a sip of your coffee.
“Mmm... Thank you... You know me so well”
“Of course I do. I’m your one and only after all”
The man grinned before settling down beside you and joining you in eating. The morning passed by too quickly and soon you drove with Fernando to the paddock. Fortunately no paparazzi noticed you yet.
For the rest of your stay in Vegas, Alonso took you on dates, always to a different place thinking of different activities every time. You felt like he was what was missing in your life as you always felt a part of you lost until that evening.
The media quickly caught on to your romance, writing an article after an article about your relationship. The whole grid started to call you an old married couple the moment they found out, being very happy for you two just as the whole F1 community.
The only one who was still opposed to it was Lewis, but with time Fernando has managed to convince him he wasn’t so bad and treated you right.
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Soon the 2023 season finished, that meant that in some time the F1 social media team was going to organise a Secret Santa gift exchange.
You wondered who’d you get, secretly hoping for Lewis, it would’ve been the easiest task ever as you knew well what he craved.
Unfortunately you drew Yuki and decided to buy him some food and sweets as it was the safest gift you were sure he’d like.
You weren’t the only one who drew someone other than they wished to. Fernando drew Esteban but wanted to get you, so he started to run around the paddock asking every driver if they got you.
Eventually he traded with Kevin who was more than happy to take Esteban, he just couldn’t think of a gift for you, whereas Fernando had his gift bought for you way earlier which waited in his apartment for the exchange.
When the day came, the social media staff caught you after an interview and you started to film your bit, which was the last one.
You sat down by the table and greeted the fans before taking the present the interviewer gave you. You smiled the whole time as you unwrapped the paper, a small black box emerging from it.
Opening it you revealed a beautiful gold ring with a shining amethyst in the midle. Looking confused at the ring you felt someone’s hand on your shoulder.
You turned around rapidly to see Fernando on his one knee in front of you, a soft smile plastered on his face as he looked deep into your eyes.
Tears started to fill yours when you finally understood what was going on, an awkward chuckle escaping your lips.
Some might thing it was too early as you only dated for a month but it felt like you've been together for those 2 years of flirting. Besides, Fernando felt like you were the one. No. He knew you were the one and you knew he was the only one for you too.
You shook your head not believing and hid your face in your hands.
“Fernando. Alonso. Diaz... You’re impossible”
You said soon, pulling your hands away from your face and smiling widely at the man.
“Is that a yes?”
You didn’t say anything instead quickly putting the ring on and throwing yourself at the man, you both falling to the ground with happy giggles and applause from the people surrounding you.
Grabbing his cheeks you kissed him passionately, not caring even a little about the cameras filming you, you wanted this moment captured and the whole world to see it.
It was the best month in your whole life...
*:..。o○✨○o。..:*
I hope you liked it! Let me know if you have any ideas for future fics! 💞
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ssentimentals · 1 year
Text
reassurance {jeon wonwoo}
pairing: wonwoo x gn!reader
prompt: tonight wonwoo needs to know that you love him, too. (features overthinking and a bit insecure wonwoo, who needs reassurance from the reader)
warnings and general tags: nsfw, smut (minors dni or i will bite your hands off), nothing detailed though and it's much more about feelings here than actual sex because i am incapable of not adding bunch of thoughts and feelings into whatever i write, established relationships, insecurity but it's not angsty (i hope)
there’s nothing wrong with this party. music is good, booze is even better, quantity of people is just enough to fill the space without making it hard to breathe and even lights are not too blinding. honestly, everything is good but wonwoo can’t wait to go home and this time it has nothing to do with him not being a 'party person'. this evening makes him feel bare, like his armor is stripped off and all of his insecurities are out on full display, bleeding. and it’s hard to tell what triggered this because nothing much happened, but he’s been in his head too much lately and it drove him crazy.
he stands a bit out of the circle of his friends, needing his space right now. everyone is either dancing or having a good time, but he simply can’t. all of the thoughts are eating him up, they don’t whisper, they scream in his head that he’s not loved, that he’s alone. wonwoo’s eyes follow your figure and there’s an itch in his skin, weird almost primal need to get you close so your smile can be directed to him. you are radiant and he feels cold without your warm energy around him.
wonwoo sips on his drink quietly, listens to the conversation around him, nods in greeting to passing people, but his attention is on you. he is on the verge of leaving his group and coming to you when you turn around, making eye contact with him. your soft smile instantly has a calming effect and he relaxes his posture, watching you make your way to him. there’s a furrow between your eyebrows and he knows he didn’t fool you - you know that something is wrong with him.
'everything is okay?' you ask quietly but with a smile on your face, not wanting to attract attention of others. 'you don’t look like you’re enjoying yourself.'
he loves you for that; for knowing him so well that even from little quirks you can tell that something is off, for your caring attitude, for your gentleness displayed towards him all the time. he loves you and tonight he especially needs to know that you love him, too. wonwoo opens his mouth to speak when two friends interrupt him, bursting into your private bubble in order to say hi. annoyance spikes up but he thumps it down, seeing how you are genuine happy to see them. your hand reaches out to hold his and wonwoo smiles widely, interlocking your fingers; physical connection with you in any form is what he needs right now.
'you gonna join us, right? c’mon, we can start playing beer pong!'
wonwoo is ready to let you go, he doesn’t want to be some egoistical bastard and keep you from having all the fun, but his heart soars in his chest when you politely decline. he can kiss you in front of everyone when you add that you two are actually heading home. you turn and send a sweet smile his way and his heart does a flip and then one more, just for a good measure. oh, he loves you.
'you better tell me what’s wrong, mister.' you say as you both get in the car. 'did someone say something?'
wonwoo shakes his head, hating himself for making you worried. 'no, it’s not that. i just don’t- i just feel a bit off tonight. i’m sorry for ruining your fun.'
'which fun? please, like i haven’t been to parties before.' you scoff jokingly and then turn serious, turning to him on your seat. 'babe, do you want to talk about it? or do you want me to leave you alone for tonight? give you space?'
'no.' this comes out a bit too rushed and wonwoo glances at you to check whether he startled you or not. 'please don’t..leave.'
his attention is back on the road and he sighs in relief when you reach out and squeeze his shoulder. 'i won’t. i’m here.'
that's what you always do and he doesn't know how he got so lucky; wonwoo likes to think of himself as of a good person but he's not that good in order to deserve someone like you as his partner. he wonders if you ever notice how lacking he is in many aspects, how truly out of his league you are; he fears the moment when you'll finally realize all of it. you both say nothing for the rest of the ride and it usually is peaceful but tonight this silence causes all of his doubts to rise up. what are you thinking about? are you wishing you stayed at that party instead? are you wondering why your boyfriend is such a party pooper? are you wishing you had someone else instead, someone more active, extraverted, more fun? by the time you reach home and lock the door of your apartment, wonwoo is buzzing with nerves and not the good kind ones; he is ready to throw himself on the wall.
'wonwoo,' you call out, carefully making him face you. your eyes search up his face, trying to guess what's going on in his mind. 'baby, what is it?' you point on his forehead, smiling: 'it's not good for you to spend this much time in your head, you almost always overthink.'
wonwoo exhales shakily and when his eyes lock with yours, smile slowly disappears from your face. he knows he must look pathetic right now, but even though he has poker face with everyone, it never worked with you; with you all of his emotions run freely and he can tell that you see everything in his eyes, without him needing to explain. 'oh, baby,' you let out, hugging him tight. 'i love you.'
he hugs you back and it's a miracle, truly, how immediately content he feels. 'you do?' he asks and he sounds too needy even to his own ears.
you pull back, taking a good look at him. 'of course i do, woo. i love you so much.' your hand brushes his fringe out of his eyes and you smile gently, cupping his face. 'what do you need tonight? movie and cuddles? quiet night in with talking? or you want me?'
his grip involuntarily tightens on your waist and that's an answer in itself but he still says out loud: 'you. want you.'
from there it's all a blur. he knows you are there and he stays afloat solely because of your hands all over him and your lips on his. you kiss in the most gentlest way and you were together for a while now, but he still can't get enough. your kisses light up something different in him and tonight he doesn't try to take the lead - he simply lets you set up the tempo, a willing puppet in your hands.
'i love you,' you whisper, pulling him down on the bed. you free both of you from shirts and he sighs at the skin to skin contact. 'i want you to believe me, okay? i'm not lying. i love you.'
wonwoo nods. he tries his best not to cry but it's really damn hard, when you gaze at him with so much love and affection. he reaches out for you, hating this distance, wanting to be as close you as you two only can be. this grounds him, feeling you next to him, having your lips on his - this serves as a reminder that you are here with him. maybe voices in his head are wrong, after all.
you plant kisses from his lips to his jaw, moving down his neck and stopping on his collarbones, making him squirm. he feels a bit dizzy, maybe because of the booze, maybe because of your perfume, or maybe from the way you make him feel. you don't leave marks on his skin, never bite down hard enough for it to bruise and he feels worshipped in the most intimate way. your hands trace every single ridge, every single dip, you map out his torso with your love and when you reach for the belt he's already panting a little, face flushed. not being able to kiss you in this position is very unsatisfying but his brain promptly shuts up when you rid him of his jeans and take off yours too. he wishes he could take pictures with his eyes, wishes he were a painter cause words escape him when he looks at you. the whole 'head spin, breath knocked down' thing is very real when it comes to you and he hopes this effect you have on him never wears off.
'there is nowhere else i'd rather be,' you whisper, settling yourself on top of him. 'and no one else i'd rather be with. okay? you have to believe me, woo.'
'okay.' he grits out, gripping your hips. 'i- i believe you.'
the smile that you reward him with makes him weak. 'good.' you smile cheekily: 'won't you come up here and kiss me?'
he moves quickly, sitting up and wrapping his arms around you, slotting our mouths together. his heart thrums in his chest. beats so loud that he can't hear anything else. he thinks his heart is trying to break his ribcage, wants to get out of there so it can fall into your hands instead. the kiss speaks volumes of your feelings and emotions and wonwoo is drunk, high on love when you let him prepare yourself. your soft sighs, drawn out moans and breathy whispers of his name make his hands tremble a little; is this real? how did he score you? how?
'hey,' you call and his eyes snap towards you instantly. your chest is rising up and down, eyes turned a bit glossy, body flushed with prettiest shade of pink and he bites his lip in order not to moan out loud at the view. 'woo, baby. you're here, right? with me?'
wonwoo nods, pressing a kiss on your hipbone. 'yes.'
'and you love me?' you ask breathily as he continues to stretch you out.
'yes.' more firm this time and he punctuates this with a rather sharp thrust of his fingers inside. 'i love you so much, too much.'
you smile, lacing your fingers through his hair. 'and i love you. more than you think.'
and wonwoo believes. he sees that in your eyes, sees that in every single action or word, sees it every day. it's just sometimes clouds loom over him and insecurities all wake up from the pits of his stomach, but deep inside he knows the truth. you love him. you love him just the way he is. and he can give you the world for this.
'i believe you,' he whispers, lining himself and carefully entering you.
being with you is the best symphony; it's the practiced ease, it's the familiar tension which one can feel only after doing something over and over again. he knows where to touch, where to kiss, where to press to have you fly on the cloud nine and this familiarity with your body is not something he takes for granted; he'll die the day someone else will learn all of this, too.
'i love you, i love you,' you let out, gripping his forearms. 'kiss me, plea-'
wonwoo kisses your fervently, adoringly. it's the 'i can't believe you are mine' and 'please be mine forever' in the kiss and you kiss him back, hoping he can read the 'forever, yes' as your answer. you hold each other tightly as you both fall apart, the most beautiful ending of the song. he plants kisses all over your face, his face lights up as you giggle. he wants to say 'thank you' but it'll sound weird so he settles for hugging you tight.
'only a little or else this sweat will get sticky,' you warn him, sighing in resentment as he stands up. 'whereee?'
'let me clean you up.' he offers and you nod, content in just lying around as he does the job. 'shower, love?'
your heart squeezes on the petname and you nod, letting him push you up. wonwoo holds you upright and kiss your temple as you both walk towards the bathroom. 'you are my everything,' he whispers before climbing into the shower first in order to find best temperature.
'you are my everything too.' you assure him, climbing in as soon as motions that water temperature is just the way you like it. 'you know this, right?'
'yeah,' he nods, bringing you closer.
'good. i will let you know if it changes, by the way. so if i'm not saying anything you can just always assume that it's still the same.' you proclaim, making him laugh loudly.
'i hope it never changes.' he comments offhandedly, soaping the loofa.
you smile, leaning in to peck his lips. 'i hope so too.'
a/n: i tried my best to make reader as gn as i only can but!! if i somehow made a terrible job at it please please let me know :( and as always here is the link to all my other works. i'm not really nsfw writer, it's mostly fluff blog for seventeen <3 - nini
also i'm not tagging anyone here from my usual tag list cause i didn't know whether you guys will be okay with smut. (not like it was detailed but yeah, anyway). let me know what you think of this one!
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nyxvuxoa-writes · 2 years
Text
Thigh Riding - Eddie Munson
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
[ ⛧ ] A/N: This is my first Eddie story, so take it easy on me okay? Lol. Honestly, I haven't written a fic in a long while, so I am rusty. Lol. Everything is below the cut, as well as the tag list! Sorry for any errors that I may have missed!
[ ⛧ ] GENRE: NSFW, PWP [ ⛧ ] T/W: This story has you thigh riding Eddie! Begging to cum, finger sucking, a hard Eddie, and female orgasm. This is a straight-to-smut story! [ ⛧ ] Summary: You're straddling Eddie's thigh and his hand's grip on your hips while getting you to cum for him.
MINORS DNI - Please be over 18 when you interact on my blog!
Please don’t post any of my work anywhere else, do not steal, copy, or use parts of it. I work hard on my stories and they are not yours to steal. Thank you.
A cold chill moves up your spine, and goosebumps form against your skin as you feel Eddie's hands moving against your bare thighs. His rings are cold against your hot skin, cooling to the touch as he grips at you with a boyish cheeky grin plastered on his face. The site of you right now was something he could get used to. He licks at his lips, his dark eyes moving over your body, observing your figure as you slowly grind against his thigh. You are a needy little thing, and Eddie is eating it up. He loves the way you want him, how heated you get with him.
His eyes take a quick glance down at your lower half, noticing the wet spot that formed on the fabric of his jeans, and his smirk only gets bigger. "Awww, Princess, you're all wet." He chuckles, cooing at you as he raises his thigh up against your sensitive bud, pressing himself against you. You whimper as you lower yourself down more against his thigh, pressing onto him, nodding your head in some sort of attempt to acknowledge his words. "It's your fault." You mutter. He chuckles and bites at his lower lip slightly.
"How bad do you want me, baby?" He says softly to you, his hands grazing against your thighs again, giving you a slight squeeze with his fingertips. "You gotta show me." he adds. You wanted him badly, but he wanted to play this little game. He wanted to see how far you would go to show him how worked up he got you. Eddie's hand snakes up your thighs to your hips, gripping at them slightly as he leans back in his chair. He guides your motions against him, making sure you keep a steady pace to start off.
Reaching for his arms, your hands grip him back as you feel your hips being controlled in the meantime. A moan escapes you causing Eddie to groan in response. "That's it, Princess. Just like that." He encourages. Eddie's lips part in a heavy breath as his breathing picks up, feeling himself becoming hard because of you. Hearing his breathing pick up, you focus on it, your breathing starting to match his as your pace picks up. His fingers press a little more into your hips as your motions against him become a little rough, griding your sweet bud in a back and forth motion.
He lets out another groan at the sight of you and feels your motions against him. You were driving him crazy. As much as he wanted to slide himself into at this very moment, he wanted this to keep going. He needed it to keep going. As your pace picks up more, his hands wander from your hips to up your sides. He reaches for your shirt, going to strip it from your body. Helping him, you lift the shirt up and toss it to the floor, giving him a full and beautiful view of your breasts. He licks his lip and smiles. "Good girl. Keep going." He tells you as his one hand goes to hold your hip and another moves up to gently grip your throat.
You lean into the grip and moan, hearing the words that you loved to hear from him. You are his good girl, and he always made sure you knew it. Hearing his breathing, knowing he was hard, caused you to pick up your pace a bit more. Your moans for him become almost constant, little soft moans that were almost begging for him to fuck you. "Come on baby. Come on." He encourages you. "Keep going." He says softly, his eyes looking over your face with a hungry look.
Eddie's hand moves from your neck to let his fingers touch your lips. Opening your mouth you take in his fingers, your lips pressing around them as if he was sliding cock in. He groans heavily, feeling the wetness of your mouth and the way your lips press firmly around him. He closes his eyes a moment, focusing on the sensation of your griding hips and tongue lapping at his fingers. He feels the sensation of his hard self pressing against the fabric of his clothing and he's fighting off the urge to move his hips slightly to get some friction against his cock. A low moan comes from his lips as he opens his eyes back up and looks at you. "Fuck, Princess. The things you do to me." He whimpers at you.
Taking his fingers from your mouth, both hands go back to gripping at your hips as he guides your motions again, harder, faster against his thigh. You start to moan louder, your hands reaching for any part of him that you can touch and grab at. "Oh god!" You moan. "Fuck, Eddie! Eddie!" You cry out, feeling your body start to tremble against him. He smirks. "Come on baby! Beg for it!" He commands you, still guiding your motions against him. Your hands are gripping at him as you hold off your finish, feeling the tension move through your body like a wave of heat.
"Can I cum?! Please Eddie!" "How bad do you want it, Princess?" . "Bad! Please Eddie, please?!"
He licks his lips and smirks. "Cum baby! Cum for me!" He says as he keeps moving your hips against him. Your body shakes from head to toe as you shift your weight slightly, pressing your bud down against his jeans. You cry out, feeling a strong release, your body hot from the excitement. You ride out your finish, the motions of your hips slowing down before eventually coming to a stop on him. Looking at each other, you watch as Eddie licks his lips. "Good girl, Princess." He says in a breathy tone. He was far from done with you, he is still hard in his jeans, aching for you.
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[ ⛧ ] Tag List: @tellingyouastory @babeyglo @hopeisshere @theglitterymess @ianclairo @nxrdamp @lokiswh0reeee @reaganann @eddie-munsons-wife @sapphireplums @loveshineslikethesky @pinkfeatherboarry @stormyparker @urofficial-cyberslut @teenagegoateecollectorposts @scarlets-phases @sanzusmile @unhingedbabee @felicityofbakerstreet @anymoret0ri @ren-ni @voguesir @haiishodenki @inaayahuda @viczvaporub @cliffboothshawaiianshirt @dragon-ash13 @chantanaynay @drugrats @eddie-cliffs @thesuncitysworld @ariegoldhouse
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littlerosette · 3 months
Note
Not gonna lie, the “Peeta: Katniss you can’t kiss me but btw can I smell your neck, I need it to sleep” tag you had has been living rent free in my head. Because I always feel like we always discuss how insane Katniss was for him during the Quell but we never touch how unhinged he was during the Quell too when he thought he was going to die . He did not have to have his lips touching her neck during that hug, especially since it was lingering and neither of them were letting go.
And don’t even get me started on the constant flirting starting back up . “You’re perfect to me” , the weakness for beauty like, wanting to spend every minute of his life with her, extra married couple kisses.
him saying “i want to spend every minute of the rest of my life with you” like??? he’s clinically insane. sick with love.
honestly i love how desperate they are for each other. i really really enjoy how much they get along and how easy their relationship is, but it’s so wonderful that there’s this undercurrent of urgency. i do fully read their relationship as being codependent and i don’t think that’s something they ever really break away from. i don’t know if they can. i think the reason mutually-frustrated-mutually-obsessed post mj!everlark is so fun for me is because i Love the idea that they attempt to set up walls between them that they continually breakdown solely because they can’t stand to be apart from each other. katniss doesn’t want to be in love. cant stand to acknowledge love. but if she doesn’t see him at least once a day, she feels sick. peeta can’t run the risk of being tortured by his feelings for her anymore, and therefore refuses to engage in it unless it’s the Real thing, but he can’t stand not touching her. not being around her. they drive themselves and each other crazy with their need because they’re soulmates and there’s nothing but themselves who are in the way of them being together and it’s. ugh. it’s so so fun to think about.
and also related but unrelated: i really do love how much chemistry SC wrote them with. it’s so delightful to see just how attracted they are to each other. katniss thinking things like how it’s a luxury to sleep beside him, or how good peeta’s lips feel against her neck, or her constant commentary on his looks and the strength of his arms. it’s just cute. it’s really really cute that they’re so into each other. i love them so much.
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subskz · 5 months
Note
hi! i just wanted to say, i’m a sub and i avoid sub skz stuff bc it’s not really my taste. i scrolled though the lee know smut tag like a few weeks ago, and i came across strawberry lemonade. i know i avoid sub skz, but i decided to give it a try anyways. and oh my god, i think that was the best decision i ever made. i haven’t read any sub skz fics because i figured that i probably wouldn’t like it, but i’m so glad that i gave it a try because honestly i think i’m kind of into it. the way you write is actually so delicious. your use of descriptions is actually scarily good like it was so easy to visualize it all, and like oh my god your descriptions sounded so hot. and the dialogue too…sooo good!! i loved how it transitioned from playfulness to something more, i don’t know, hot? idk the whole fic is just hot. all the teasing and calling him kitten?? oh my god. dragging the cold popsicle against his skin and then licking it up with the warmth of your mouth?? the sudden change in temperature is just so hot. and oh my god, putting the popsicle on his cock??
“You rolled the treat lower to emphasize your question, wedging it against his balls and making his cock spasm wildly,”
HELLO??? THE VISUAL?? imagination running wild. balls unfortunately don’t get enough love, so that line made me go a little crazy. and the way his cock spasms wildly because of it is so ridiculously hot. and even when you’re doing all of that, he still tries holding onto his pride, which is actually soo cute. and then wrapping your lips around his cock?? ughhh, if just doing it against his thighs got me going crazy, this one definitely got me going even crazier. the contrast in temperatures is <33333!! and using the popsicle where your lips didn’t cover?? you’re gonna be the death of me.
“Gradually, you built up a steady pace, timing the strokes of the popsicle with your mouth so that every inch of his dick was being stimulated at once. Hot and frigid, sloppy and smooth, like you were freezing his body over and setting it back on fire. It wasn’t long before the dizzying blend of sensations became too much for him to handle.”
i’ll let that paragraph speak for itself because holy shit was that hot as hell.
“Don’t make me beg for it.”
“But you sound so cute when you do.”
HELLLLOOOOOO?????????? ugh your writing is just so scrumptious!! oh my god and when he finally lets go of his pride and starts begging, it’s sooooo <333333
“The strawberry slush dissolved against your tongue, cooling the inside of your mouth to create an icy blend of saliva that was far too much for his hypersensitive body to handle.”
OH MY GOD. i’m in love. and the part where you stop just to make sure he doesn’t get hurt is just so adorableeee!! many fics are just pure smut with no feelings, so it’s absolutely lovely when you included this little bit that shows that you care about minho <33
“Even the popsicle lasted longer than you.”
PLEASEEEE i lost it at that omggg.
sjiwnfienenf this fic was a masterpiece. was it kinda unsanitary? yeah. but does that matter? absolutely not. i loved it omg. super hot. i stalked your blog afterwards. read almost everything, just need to find the time to start reading butterfly bandage and a few others.
also, i wanted to hear your thoughts on domming skz for the first time? but if you’re not comfortable writing switch reader, then maybe pegging for the first time? (reading “safe” made me lose my mind omg)
hello hello! first off i just have to say that your entire message has me in shambles oh my god i can’t believe how sweet u are!! 😭 thank you so much for all your kind and encouraging words, it means a lot to me that you liked it! esp since sub skz isnt ur usual cup of tea i’m delighted that you took a chance on strawberry lemonade n ended up enjoying it <33
the way u caught on to so many little details throughout the fic and immersed urself in the descriptions is incredibly touching to me, you really read w a keen eye i appreciate it so much!! even to the point of sharing lil excerpts that you liked and noticing the slight tone shift at the beginning…ur too kind ㅠㅠ the contrasting temperatures was kinda what inspired the whole thing so i’m glad to know u found that hot hehehe what better way to slowly chip away at lino’s pride right~ and yes!! i try to sneak in softer moments whenever i can to show some love for the boys, i’m very happy u took notice of that part and that it’s smth you value as well! 🥰
thank u again for taking the time to send such a lovely message u really brightened up my day!! butterfly bandage is a bit of a journey haha…if you do end up reading it i hope you’ll enjoy the ride angel 💗💗💗
as for ur question! yes i don’t do switch reader, but i think i could do smth like going from a vanilla relationship to domming skz for the first time if you’d like? either way, i’ll add first time pegging thoughts under the cut here ^_^
chan - so shy, so so shy. he’s extremely self-conscious abt it bc he feels guilty for wanting smth that, in his mind, is almost solely for his own pleasure instead of yours. he’s a lil giver who always wants to satisfy you first, after all! still, he can’t deny how bad he craves trying it, he definitely researches pegging on his own (shoutout deadpool) and gets off to the thought of it, then feels insanely embarrassed w himself after. he doesn’t have the courage to ask you outright, but since u know him well enough, it becomes pretty clear to you what he wants through his indirect roundabout channie ways of hinting at it. saying things like “ur always slapping my butt *giggle* why do u like it so muchhh~” or “i saw some videos the other day and um. yeah haha. i was like wow, ppl are into some pretty interesting things, yknow?” or ofc the infamous complaining abt how fat his ass is…lmao. and after one too many times of him fiddling w his ears and giving u hopeful glances as he stammers his way through dropping hints, you finally accept that this man is never gonna ask for it himself and decide to take initiative instead
when you do, he bursts into flames 😭 he tries desperately to play coy n oblivious, but it’s so clear how much the idea excites him w how he goes bright red, he’s not fooling anyone~ channie is such a good boy though. even if he’s nervous, he does his part to try and prep himself for you on his own, experimenting w fingering himself and even looking for the right toys to get him used to being opened up. he does whatever he can to be ready for you and make the process more convenient, but he’d definitely still need to ease into it little by little. starting w you fingering him so he can adjust to being filled up like that, testing out some smaller toys, then eventually leading into the actual pegging after a few days or weeks. he needs you to take it slow the first time, be very gentle w him! bc not only is it a bit nervewracking to try smth new, he also just feels kinda vulnerable and insecure abt it. needs lots of convincing that this is smth you want too, and that you get all the pleasure you need just seeing him blissed out and falling apart underneath you <3
he’s a flustered wreck the entire time, squirming and avoiding eye contact and covering up his body bc he feels way more exposed than usual sprawled out for you, leaking against his tummy w his legs spread. but no matter how embarrassed he is, he’s still so loud once youre inside him. if you thought he was noisy before, the sounds he makes as you start to thrust into him are like nothing you’ve ever heard before, and he wouldnt be able to contain them to save his life ㅠ his moans are so sweet, emotive, and grateful. with the way they spill out of him nonstop, it leaves no room for doubt in your mind that he’s feeling so good that all his misgivings have washed away. he tries his best to stay communicative so you know what he likes, that he’s still okay and comfortable, but once he fully adjusts to the rhythm and feel of your strap inside him he gets lost in it pretty quickly and has a hard time staying verbal. all he can really manage is a broken groans of “ah, good”, whimpering your name over n over and slurring out pleas for more, but those are more than enough to let you know that he’s enjoying himself~ it kinda dawns on him as he’s being drowned in all this pleasure how lucky he is to have you and how safe he feels in that moment, he might even start to cry if his emotions are running particularly high that day. he needs a lot of praise through it bc, again, he wants to be reassured that he’s doing well for you when all of the focus is on him like that; it’s one of the few times he won’t religiously try to deflect all ur compliments. i think he’d wanna be in missionary despite his shyness, bc he wants to feel close to you. he’ll be hiding behind his hands or unable to hold your gaze most of the time, but he still wants to be face to face with you for kisses and soothing touches <3 he’ll definitely wrap his legs around you when he’s close to pull you in deeper, like he’s worried you might stop. or he’ll tug needily at your arm to pull you down against his chest, begging you to hold him as he comes undone. aside from the emotional intimacy of the position, he also feels a lil relieved that he can bury his face into your shoulder and hide away. if you pinned his hips down the mattress to steady him while he cums, he’d go absolutely wild. later down the line, he’d be very open to you fucking him rougher. he’d esp love for you to “mahandle” him a lil bit. even if he’s bigger/stronger than you, he gets such a thrill from feeling kinda helpless as he’s bent and folded and tossed around into any position you want. he’ll crumble instantly under your hands, just to hear you call him a good boy for obeying so eagerly <3 but despite that secret desire in him, for his first time i definitely think he’d need it to be soft!
lino - curious kitty #1…he is most definitely interested in trying it out. one of the hungriest for it out of all the boys, actually, and he’s honestly a lil frustrated that you haven’t suggested it yourself yet. bc though he can be pretty shameless abt asking to try new things, he also doesn’t wanna risk the blow to his pride if you reject the idea. his version of dropping hints is literally just staring holes into the back of ur head, hoping his telepathic signals will reach you and you’ll just know what he wants without him having to say it, bc god forbid he looks desperate in front of you (he is, but you dont need to know that). if you don’t bring it up yourself, eventually he runs out of patience and just deadpans it to you one day that he wants to try pegging, but he frames it as a joke just in case so he can giggle in ur face n act like he didn’t mean it if you aren’t into it lol. if you’re the one to suggest it, his heart kinda flutters bc lino really wants to be wanted by you. he wants you to go crazy over the thought of him writhing in pleasure underneath you, to see how pretty he looks getting fucked so you become just as hooked on it as him and ask yourself why you didn’t do this sooner. he definitely plays up his seductive behavior around you to try and get you to initiate it like the sneaky lil kitty he is
though he acts all fussy n huffy as if he’s doing you a favor, he’s actually very thoughtful behind the scenes just like channie. he tries to prep himself in private and does a lot of research on how to do it safely and properly for the first time. partially to make things easier for you, and partially so he can blow u away w how much of a “natural” he is heh…despite what he leads you to believe, he really wants to please you, too, even if he’s very adamant abt being pampered. he absolutely 1000% sucks your strap before you fuck him. even if he’s never done it before, he treats it like a must, and the way he works his mouth would make you believe he’d been doing it his entire life. he wants to show you what he can do for you too, kinda like he’s reminding you of why he deserves to be fucked so well in the first place~ given how experimental he is, you’ve probably already tried fingering w him before so it’s not smth entirely new to him, but the complete fullness he feels once you inch your strap all the way in is like nothing he could’ve ever prepared himself for. he gets obsessed w it instantly, both the pleasure that’s so intense in an entirely different way, and the whole new lvl of intimacy it brings to your dynamic
he tries to keep quiet at first, just letting out cute little grunts and hitched breaths as he gets used to the stretch. but the moment you start to consistently bottom out inside him, you’re in for the prettiest, most angelic sighs n moans you've ever heard from him. he might wanna start out in missionary bc he likes the eye contact and he feels more comfy being able to see you…he will be looking directly into ur soul w the most intense, sultry gaze that shows how much he really trusts you, it’s very hot in its own way hehe. that, coupled w the way his thick thighs wrap around you to urge you in deeper, tell you everything you need to know abt how much he loves it, even if he refuses to admit it outright. the faces he makes and the sight of him rocking his hips to match your movements are mind-numbing…he’s a dancer after all, he’s got very good muscle control and knows exactly how to move when he really wants to put on a show <3 as the pleasure picks up though, he gets a lil too drunk on it and becomes needier n needier, you can tell his composure is slipping as he starts to shake more w each thrust. he’s so focused on feeling good that he forgets abt his pride and starts whining for more, for you to go deeper, harder, faster. that’s how you end up in doggy style w him grinding himself down on your strap to meet each rock of your hips, grateful that he can whimper and drool into the pillows instead of letting his cries ring out in full volume. he’s usually pretty good at holding his noises back if he really wants to, but when you’re filling him to the brim over and over like that, there’s no chance for him to keep quiet. he’d love it if you squeezed n kneaded his thighs until deep imprints were left behind for days afterwards. and if you reach out to play w his nipples from behind or hook your fingers into his mouth, pulling his head back and making him salivate all over them as you repeatedly hit his prostate just right, he may just cum on the spot
binnie - w binnie, i can see it going either way when it comes to who suggests it first! he can be a lil clueless and detached from the world sometimes so he may not even really know what pegging is until u explain it to him. the way his face would change as you go into detail would be so adorable, he’s all nervous nose scrunches and awkward squirming. you can physically see how excited the idea gets him, and he’s down for it almost immediately. he’s honestly pretty flattered that you want him that way hehehe typical binnie, it fuels his lil leo heart like nothing else even if he’s a bit embarrassed over the idea of being in such a vulnerable position in front of you. he’d definitely end up looking up things like “how to look cool and sexy but also cute while getting pegged” as his version of preparation lol. if he’s the one to ask you for it, he’s so so endearing abt it. strangely quiet and timid, ducking his head, shuffling his feet as he struggles to mumble out the question…he’s literally one step away from sinking to the floor and covering his face once he manages to stammer the words. he gives you the most irresistible pout when you tease him for it, if you rest your hands on his hips n tell him how pretty he’s gonna look filled up w you, he will melt instantly. literally weak in the knees over just the thought of it, suddenly he's ready for you to take him right then n there hehe. lots of dramatic whines and swatting shyly at your shoulder through the entire process, bc even if he thrives off your attention, he’s still a teensy bit of a tsundere when he gets so much of it <3
his anticipation is obvious w the way he’s watching everything you do w wide, starry eyes and wiggling around constantly in the sheets. but even so, he tries to put on a brave front bc he wants to impress you, show you how good of a boy he can be for you! when you first push into him you’d get a lot of nervous babbling though 😭 he goes from “don’t hold back, i can take it” to “ah wait wait wait it’s big, slow down” to “it actually d-doesn’t feel that—moans” to “faster please, harder please, deeper please” he gets so talkative and vocal over every little move you make like he’s narrating his thoughts, it’s so cute. esp when you thrust into him extra good and suddenly he shuts all his rambling up w a sharp, high-pitched moan. he is so ridiculously whiny too, esp if you start to make playful comments here n there abt how he’s being such a good boy, taking you so well, moving his hips so well, like his body was made to be fucked like this <3 it simultaneously makes him glow w pride and flusters him out of his mind bc he isn’t sure it’s normal how turned on the thought of being your pretty lil doll makes him (it might be too much for him during ur first time but if you eventually added breeding into the mix he’d lose it mind). like channie, he’s extra starved for your praise when you peg him, so showering him w compliments is a must!! even if they make him pout for you to stop embarrassing him, he isn’t very good at hiding how much he basks in it. drag your hands all over his body and fawn over how strong n beautiful it is, call him your pretty boy as you pull him closer by his hips to reach deeper inside him, murmur how irresistible he is right before you sink your teeth into his broad shoulders ❤️‍🔥 he will literally be making the filthiest, most shameless, wanton sounds you can imagine, and hearing them only turns him on even more. i think binnie definitely has a thing for listening to his own moans when he’s really far gone hehe it makes him feel so slutty in the best way…his voice gets so sweet and cute when you’re making him feels worlds of pleasure he’s never felt before, who could blame him for loving the sound of it, really. also…cup his chest as you get rougher w your thrusts and he’s a complete goner. esp if you squeeze his pecs together and tease him for how they’re so big that you have to hold them down bc they keep bouncing hehe. all it would take is leaning down to suck on his nipples and he’s cumming untouched
hyunjin - he is most definitely thinking abt it from the moment you two get together. it’s smth he wants so bad but if he had to say it out loud he may actually just die of sheer embarrassment, so he keeps it to himself no matter how much he craves it. the question of if you’ll ever bring it up w him is constantly on his mind, bc even if you’re in a d/s relationship, he isn’t sure if you’d be into that aspect of it n he’s worried you’ll think he’s weird for wanting it…hyune’s another shy one who can have a hard time voicing his desires outside of the bedroom ㅠㅠ i think the only surefire way you could really draw it out of him is in the middle of a scene or right after one, where his emotions are still running high and he’s completely controlled by his desire without any of his usual inhibitions, that’s where he tends to say things that he’d be too hesitant to say otherwise, then blush over it later. he might get too lost in the adrenaline rushing through his veins and starts moaning abt how he wants you inside him, to fuck him until he can’t remember his own name, to make him yours in every possible way. it’s very intense and sensual, and at first you wonder if he’s just saying these things in the heat of the moment. but when you ask him abt it afterwards, he suddenly gets so quiet and shy, burying his red face into your neck n mumbling that he can’t believe he said those things out loud </3 and his reaction is all the confirmation you need to know he meant every word~
hyune’s neediness will be battling it out w his awkwardness the entire time you’re prepping him. poor baby is very self critical and can’t stop thinking abt all the things that could go wrong—if you won’t enjoy it, if he’ll look weird, if his size will make it a lil awkward to navigate…you’d need to be very observant of him n pay close attention to his expressions to make sure he’s fully relaxed bc his emotions show all over his face! once your fingers slip inside of him though, he starts to let loose, you can tell by the way his voice rings out loud and clear, suddenly not having any care in the world other than how it feels to be stretched out by you. seeing him slip into that headspace that’s so vulnerable yet so passionate is always smth to marvel at ❤️‍🔥it’s no secret that jinnie is very good w his hips and he makes perfect use of that talent in this situation. he’ll end up grinding down desperately against your palm without even realizing it, rolling his entire body and begging for your strap before you’ve even had the chance to add a third finger n fully open him up. just like chan, his reservations go out the window the moment you actually push the toy inside of him. he makes the most insane facial expressions, eyes rolling back, plump lips swelling and coated w drool from how much he bites down on them, thick brows scrunching together…when his sleepy eyes are blown wide w lust it makes for the most gorgeous sight <3 and if that isn’t enough to tell you how good he’s feeling, he is also extremely vocal too. lots of needy whimpers and groans that are so stretched out you’d think he was exaggerating them. even if he’s bigger than you, he’ll let you toss him around like he’s completely weightless into any position you want, he’s like putty in ur hands. he’d go crazy if you pulled his legs up on your shoulders (speaking of…catboy anon once had the idea of hyune spraying perfume on his ankles so you can smell it when they’re up by ur head and…he absolutely would 😵‍💫 he’s so thoughtful n romantic even when youre putting him through the mattress) if you snaked your hand up his body while taking him from behind and wrapped your fingers around his throat, he would fall apart in a matter of seconds. especially if you pulled him back against your chest by his hair or throat and held him there
jisung - han jisung has been waiting for this moment his entire life 🙏 from the beginning he hardly makes it a secret how desperately he wants you to peg him, he’s probably the one who asks for it first! even if you also have it in mind, he’s so eager that he doesn’t even give you the chance to pose the question, he’s one step ahead of you. long before you two ever discuss the idea, he’s already become very familiar w fingering himself and using all kinds of toys on himself…baby’s got bad hehe. he might even already have a strap prepared bc he’s hopeful that one day he’ll get to try it w you…n he’s definitely gotten off to the thought of it countless times 😽 he’s honestly a lil shameless once he learns that you’re just as down as he is, but his reaction is so endearing. he goes from stuttering out the question through breathy, awkward chuckles, to perking up like an excited puppy when you respond positively. his eyes practically gleam and he breaks out into the widest, sunniest smile repeating “really? really really? like, seriously? you’re not making fun of me, right? i’ll get really sad if you’re just teasing”…w his big doe eyes n hopeful face, who wouldn’t give him anything his lil heart desires
he’s ready to go right away, you may actually have to stop him from running to go retrieve his strap and bring it to you right then and there 😭 he’s so grateful and so enthusiastic, neither of you really anticipates the sudden bout of shyness that inevitably hits him once you actually start to lead up into the pegging. he’s fingered himself plenty of times before, and that knowledge makes for the perfect opportunity for you to tease him a lil, telling him to finger himself open in front of you so you can see how he likes it slide into him w ease~ he whines like crazy but still does his best to obey…lying down n spreading his legs for you, unable to mask the neediest whimpers that build in his throat the more he pushes into himself, wishing it was you instead. though his face is burning w embarrassment, he also sees it as a good opportunity to appeal to you, too. he tries to show you a preview of how pretty he’ll look once you finally fuck him, playing out his moans and facial expressions to rile you up. eventually, though, his patience wears thin and he just starts begging for you to take over ): after all, poor hannie has done this alone far too many times, he needs you. he’s so ridiculously squirmy once you finally ease into him, to the point where you might have to hold him down or restrain him somehow so you can fuck him properly. it’s difficult for him to sit still no matter how hard he tries, he’s just so full of energy and reactive to every lil bit of stimulation, keening desperately when you pull out of him and gasping dramatically when you thrust back in all at once. he’s never felt this full in his life and he feels like he could sob from relief finally getting to experience it. he wants to try everything—one minute he wants you to take him softly n sensually, the next he wants you pounding into him. he’d keep begging for smth new every few minutes bc he’s so eager he’s just aching to try it all, like he might not get the chance to again. that goes for positions too; missionary, mating press, doggy, full nelson, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, etc. he esp loves riding you bc he feels like he’s putting on a show for you! he gets to bask in all your attention and praises as he bounces on your strap, not bothering to hold back his whines and moans in the slightest bc he knows how much you love them <3 if you could manage to hold him up against a wall and fuck him like that w his legs hooked around your waist, he would absolutely lose his mind, he likes being manhandled a lil bit too. he wants you to just completely wreck him in every way possible, to the point where he’s covered w hickeys and bite marks and can barely walk afterwards. he will most definitely try to subtly brag abt it to the other boys abt it the next day, complaining abt how sore he is and letting out cute, exaggerated noises of discomfort when he sits down or exerts himself too hard…he’s a lil proud of it hehe but if anyone actually points it out he’ll turn beet red and curl into himself, trying not to get turned on all over again from the mere memory of what you did to him
felix - curious kitty #2! in lix’s case, it’s not really a matter of if, but when. pegging is smth he’s always wanted to try out given how eager he is to explore every kink under the sun w you, to him it’s more a matter of whether or not you would be willing to. you both fall into the roles so naturally in a way he's longed for his entire life, and once that trust is established n fostered between the two of you, he’s more than ready to give you his all knowing that he’ll be safe n accepted w you <3 even if he's a lil reserved n awkward abt it, he really makes it no secret what he wants, and he has the added privilege of looking so unfairly innocuous even when asking you to do the wildest things to him…you never quite know what to expect from him next. he’s definitely experimented w fingering himself in the past, but bc his fingers are so small a lot of the time it’s difficult for him to hit the right angles or satisfy himself properly, so he just ends up even more frustrated and needy, wishing you were the one fucking him instead ):
lixie’s a very thoughtful boy just like chan and lino, he wants to make things go as smoothly as possible to show you how grateful he is that you would do this for him! but he ends up being pretty reliant on you through the whole process, he can’t help but look to you for guidance on every little thing so his tendency to overthink means you might have to coddle him a lil more than usual ㅠㅠ he’s so sweet and obedient though, literally the good boy of your dreams following each gentle command you give him w a giddy smile. like minho, he’d absolutely love to suck your strap beforehand, both as a way to get it nice n wet and to turn you on…do not fall for those big, angelic eyes looking up at you as he takes the toy as far down his throat as he can…he knows exactly what he’s doing ❤️‍🔥 it also eases his mind a bit to be able to do smth for you, he gets so into it he almost forgets what’s to come and would gladly keep going until his voice is hoarse. once you first enter him (w plenty of lube…i think lix would need it hehe) he’d also love to just stay that way for a bit and “cockwarm” you…he gets a lil sappy abt it and just wants to be in your lap, face to face w you nestled inside him as he adjusts to the stretch. w lots n lots of kissing!! eventually though he starts to get a lil squirmy, letting out soft lil grunts, and you can feel him growing harder where his cock is wedged between the two of you. so you grab hold of his waist and encourage him to start riding you <3 lix would be another one who loves positions where he can feel small, even if he’s bigger than you! he’d feel so safe and secure nuzzling into your neck as he bounces on your lap, and being held down w his legs over his head in a mating press would make his brain melt into mush. i think his favorite would definitely be full nelson though hehe…smth abt how helpless and exposed he is in that position turns him on to an insane degree. he’d also definitely find a way to hold your hands in whichever position you take <3 the noises he makes start out very low and husky w your careful thrusts, but the more you pick up the pace the higher and louder his voice gets. he sounds so sweet and angelic, the moment you first hit his prostate he makes a sound that you have trouble even believing came from him bc of how squeaky it comes out, like a cute lil shout. if you had him in missionary, his legs would be wrapped tight around you the entire time, making it a lil more difficult to move bc he’s got some strong thighs but the gesture is so cute u dont mind. it also makes for the perfect opportunity to tease him that he must want you to finish inside him n fill him up…you can physically see the effect those words have on him. his eyes go so wide and his whole body shudders, and just like that he’s climaxing <3 a few days later you’ve got lixie looking innocent as ever, beaming at you as he presents you w the new ejaculating strap he got to make it a reality hehe
seungmin - minnie is shy!! not necessarily in the giggly, blushy, stuttery way like chan. seungmin is more modest, reserved, and quiet—a lil awkward abt it. out of all the boys, i think he would be the least inclined to try pegging, and he definitely isn’t the one to bring it up, so that’s all in your hands. when you suggest incorporating it into your dynamic, at first he’d probably be pretty unwilling to explore it and just flat out says no bc he just doesn’t think he could feel fully comfortable w smth like that. but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t spend a lot of time mulling it over in private, even after he’s initially rejected the idea. his lil analytical virgo brain starts to think abt why you’d be interested in pegging in the first place, the new kinds of pleasure it would bring you both, the intimacy of an act like that, and how it might bring you and him closer together to experience. do not be fooled by his composure, kim seungmin is a sentimental softie who is very in touch w his emotions!! his desire to connect w you however he can extends to all facets of your relationship, and as daunting as the vulnerability of subbing can be for him sometimes, that vulnerability is the exact same reason why he values it so much. so, eventually, he decides that the same can be applied to bottoming for the first time and he changes his own mind hehe
he wants to be good for you. he’s so disciplined and obedient, he takes it very seriously and is genuinely a perfect sub (when he wants to be lol, sometimes he’s difficult on purpose) but when trying smth so out of his wheelhouse for the first time, he has some trouble shaking the awkwardness which makes him a lil stiff, a bit less pliant than usual. poor seungmo can’t help but be hyperaware of every sound he lets slip out, every expression he makes, every embarrassing, involuntary reaction his body has to your minstrations. so you can imagine how all of that would be turned up to a 100 when it comes to pegging bc all the focus is on him and his pleasure. he isn’t used to having that degree of attention on his body, esp not…those parts of his body. he’s even shyer than you’re used to during foreplay, just letting a few sighs and grunts slip and looking away timidly when you stare at him for too long. you’d have to be extra observant of his reactions and facial expressions to see what he likes the most, bc he has a tendency to suppress himself. one thing he does make sure to do though is periodically let you know that he’s still okay, through a quick lil nod or hand squeeze. he’d prefer to start out w him lying on his tummy, not facing you. it spares him the embarrassment of you seeing his features twist in pleasure, and he can also push his face into the pillows to mask all his noises. he might wanna wear a big hoodie or sweater to cover up his body too. i think he’d spend extra time adjusting in comparison to the other boys, partially bc he’s nervous n partially bc he wants to bask in the moment a bit. kinda like lix, he really values the closeness of just being connected like that and stays unmoving w you inside him for a while <3 he starts off swallowing down his noises so they only come out as cute, hushed lil whimpers, but as you start to ease in and out of him, even he can’t hold back as much as he wants to. it feels so strange but so relieving, almost like you’re fulfilling a desire he hadn’t even known was there until now. he mostly lets out gentle exhales and mewls, and when you hit his sweet spot for the first time, a full on gasp, which is pretty dramatic for seungmin hehe. even if you can’t see his expressions, you can see his fingers digging into the sheets and his muscles clenching with effort and his hips starting to rock into the mattress. if you leaned down to press kisses down his spine, he would shudder so beautifully n let out the sweetest moan for you. when he’s far gone enough to give in completely to the pleasure, he goes limp beneath you and allows you to flip him over so you can finally get a look at his pretty blissed out face. and when you do, he looks up at you w the most adoring lovestruck puppy gaze like you put the stars in the sky, just pure hearts floating in his big brown eyes that immediately lets you know he’s way more into this than either of you thought he’d be 🥰
jeongin - like binnie, i think there’s a good chance he might be kinda clueless as to what pegging even really is, so he wouldn’t be the one to suggest it first or even consider it an option. when you first introduce the idea to him, poor innie sputters smth like “eh? that’s a thing????” and you can practically see a whole new world of possibilities opening up in his wide, sparkly eyes. it makes his heart race a bit if he’s being honest, but he also feels a lil unsure abt it bc he’s never even really thought abt having anything…go inside of him…just imagining it gets him all squirmy, red in the face, n playing nervously w his ears. he’d probably call you a perv at first for even wanting smth like that and acts like he isn’t interested in trying it…however…just like seungmin, do not be fooled!! he spends the next several days thinking abt it, maybe a lil too often. in innie’s case he keeps going back to it partially out of curiosity, and partially bc he is very much a pleaser who craves your approval deep down, almost to the same degree as chan and jisung. he just doesn’t want you to know that hehe…unfortunately for him it’s kinda obvious in the way he brings it up many times afterwards, mostly through asking questions that he thinks are casual like “so…*clears throat* how big would it even be?” or “is it really supposed to feel that good?” or even nagging you like “seriously, why’d you have to say smth so weird? now i can’t stop thinking abt it” w lots of awkward giggles to make it seem like a joke but when he’s constantly making lil comments abt it unprovoked you quickly start to catch on hehe…he looks so genuinely hopeful and curious without even realizing, you can’t help but tease him a bit for how transparent he is
i think innie really wants to impress you! as you’re leading into the pegging he’s extra nervous and kinda out of his element, bc he feels like he can’t really do anything to appeal to you like usual…he sometimes tends to lean into the role of a service sub bc he feeds off your praises like nothing else. he loves when you teach him how to please you properly, even more so when he does it right and earns a proud reaction from you, a moan or a headpat and a "good boy". but when he’s the one getting all the pleasure…well, as much as he craves being the center of your attention, he inevitably gets a bit bashful. he will be hiding his face a lot, covering his eyes w his fingers or clamping his hand over his mouth trying to stifle himself bc the sounds that are leaving his lips are embarrassingly loud. like channie, he'd need a lot of praise and reassurance through it all! he can't even try to pretend like he's confident or knows what he's doing, and the entire time he's watching you w the widest, most fascinated gaze that gives away how much he really depends on you to guide him through it. he giggles so much, both out of shyness and in an attempt to ease his nerves. he can barely get a sentence out without tripping over his words or letting out breathy lil chuckles, and you have to periodically remind him to loosen up a bit as you're fingering him open bc he stiffens every time a jolt of pleasure passes through him. it’s all so unfamiliar but so good, he feels like he has no control over his body anymore, and that only amplifies once you actually slide your strap inside. he is gasping and writhing and letting out the most shameless moans he's ever heard in his life, but as much as it makes his face burn red, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself no matter how hard he tried. the best way to get him to relax and completely melt into it is to whisper sweet words to him through it all, tell him how pretty he looks and sounds when he’s feeling good, how well he's taking every inch of you even when he’s so tight, how he's such a good boy and a fast learner <3 jeongin quickly learns that the praises you give him simply for getting fucked into a cute moaning mess make his brain short circuit like nothing else, he could get addicted to it. i think he’s one of the most likely to go a lil dumb from it hehe…he leans a lot more into the guilty pleasure side of him that’s used to being pampered n doted on~
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training4theapocalypse · 11 months
Text
And they call me crazy (Adrian Chase x fem!reader)
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Rating: Explicit - 18+ only
Word Count: 5.8k
Warnings: SMUT, Rough sex, Non-con elements - reader is drunk and a (very eager to fuck) hostage, Light bondage, Oral, P in V, Unprotected sex, Edging, Canon typical mentions of murder and violence
Summary: You're a new intern at Senator Goff's office. It's going great... that is until Vigilante abducts you after you've been out drinking, celebrating the end of your first week. (Based on this ask from anon.)
A/N: I'm fucking impatient as usual and I couldn't wait until Sunday to post this. I've added non-con to the warnings but honestly, reader is so desperate to fuck him she DOESN'T GIVE AF if it's morally questionable that she's a hostage.
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Chapter text:
Your gasp is stifled when a black glove covers your mouth and an arm wraps tight around your body. You stumble on the sidewalk, teetering back in your high heels into your assailant’s body but he holds you firmly upright.
“Don’t scream,” says a man’s muffled whisper in your ear.
Your whole body freezes up. God, you wish you were more sober. Why did you insist on walking home after those celebratory drinks? This is not the perfect ending to the first week of your internship that you’d envisioned. Is this why Senator Goff didn’t turn up for work today? They said he was sick.
“I’m not gonna hurt you if you keep quiet and get in the car.”
It’s a man’s voice. Not one you recognise. But you can barely hear it anyway over how loudly your heart is beating in your chest. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, it seems to say, battering frantically against your rib cage.
“Nod if you understand me.”
You jerk your head forward - his tight grip doesn’t make the movement easy. 
God, why didn’t you listen to your Mom? She told you earlier to get a cab home and stay safe, you’d just dismissed her advice as usual because you knew best.
He removes his hand and pushes you into the open passenger door of a beat-up old Chrysler Sebring. It all happens so fast that you don’t even think to check out the license plate. 
Shit.
The man shuts the passenger door after you and hops into the driver’s seat on the other side. 
It’s him. 
You’ve seen his masked face on the news, wanted for carrying out his own brand of retributive justice on criminals across Evergreen. You heard people talking about his latest crimes at work today. Hell, you’ve even made stupid memes about having a crush on him in your girlfriend’s group chat. 
It’s Vigilante.
You were ready to beg for your life a second ago. But now all you can do is stare. At the forefront of your admittedly inebriated mind is the fact that you’ve fantasised about the masked Vigilante of Evergreen before. But in your fantasies, you’d always been someone that he’d saved from a robbery gone wrong or some other sticky situation. Not his abductee.
And this is no fantasy. He’s here - he’s real. So intimidatingly tangible and human. You can hear his breathing through his mask, see his eyes darting around your dark surroundings checking for passersby, and you can even smell the sharp, fresh scent of his cologne when he gets close to you, reaching behind you to grab a length of rope from the back seat. 
“Put your hands out.” You swallow thickly, looking at his masked face. There’s no point in arguing. “If you make any indication to anyone we pass that you’re you’re here against your will, I will kill you.”
“Listen, I don’t know what you think I’ve done but I-”
“Hey - don’t make me gag you and put you in the trunk,” he says, finishing the knot around your wrists as your stomach does a little flip. Not out of fear. Something else. He turns his keys and starts the ignition. “Oooh, seatbelt! Sorry.”
You breathe in as he reaches across you to grab your seatbelt and clip you in. Your hands sit uncomfortably on your lap as the car drives out of the dark street and onto the main road.
He pulls out his cell phone as he drives to wherever you’re going and you hear the other end of the phone ringing in the silent car.
“What is it?” You strain your ears, listening as a woman answers aggressively.
“I’ve got Goff’s assistant. I’m on my way to the video store.”
Goff’s assistant? That’s a stretch. You’re an intern. And not even Goff’s intern. You’re his assistant’s intern.
“I’m not-” you start but he cuts you off.
“Quiet!”
“What?!” says the woman on the phone.
“Sorry, Harcourt. Not you.”
“No, I mean you did what?! Vigilante, you need to run this shit by me. You can’t bring her here.”
“I did you a favour! We’re way ahead of schedule now.”
You hear the unidentified woman grumble. “We’ve got Judomaster here, dumbass. Take her someplace else.”
Goff’s funny little bodyguard. Now you know that Vigilante and the woman on the phone are responsible for Goff’s absence. Shit, what’s he going to do when he realises you know nothing?
“Where am I supposed to take her?”
“That’s what happens when you go rogue, idiot. We’ll talk about this tomorrow. She’s your problem tonight.”
You hear the line beeping as the woman hangs up.
“Fuck!” says Vigilante and he does a U-turn. “Hey, close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“I’m gonna have to take you to my place. I said close your eyes or-”
“Yeah, you’ll kill me. I got it,” you say resignedly. You close your eyes feeling the car turn left, straight for a while, right, left… you lose track. You have no idea where you are or how long it takes you to get there when finally you arrive at your destination.
You hear him get out of the car and still not daring to open your eyes, you feel the cool night air when the passenger door opens.
“Can I open my eyes?”
“Nope.”
You feel him reach over you to unclip your seatbelt and he hoists you out of the car by your upper arm. He roughly steers you across what you guess is a parking lot by the way your high heels click on the asphalt.
His vice-like grip on your arm still doesn’t relent, even when you reach the stairs.
“Not so fast - I can’t see!” And you’re still kind of drunk.
“Shh! Not here,” he whispers urgently. But his hold on you becomes more gentle as he helps you up the stairs, more slowly now. A sliver of empathy. 
The sound of keys jingle as he unlocks a door and guides you inside. You hear him locking and bolting the door behind you. Great. 
“Can I-”
“Yeah, you can open ‘em.”
You open your eyes. The small apartment is sparsely furnished, obviously decorated by a single man. No artwork on his walls, a small dining table, a clean but worn leather couch without even so much as a throw pillow.
The screech of wood on laminate makes your arm hair stand up as he pulls over a hard wooden chair into the middle of the living room.
“Sit.”
You do as you’re told. He pulls another chair over and sits down opposite you, leaning back, with his arm resting on the back of the chair. Vigilante’s intimidating form relaxes casually in front of you. 
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” he tells you.
“I - do what the easy way?” You shift in your seat, squeezing your thighs together. What wouldn’t you want Vigilante to do you right now? Stop it, you scold yourself. 
“You’ve got information and I need it.”
“I really don’t have any sort of information.” 
He edges his seat closer to you, close enough that you can smell his cologne again. Fuck. “Hey, I get it. I was tortured for intel a few days ago and I didn’t crack either-”
“Torture?!” You panic now. “Look, I’m not lying - I’m not Goff’s assistant! If I knew anything I’d tell you.”
His eyes narrow behind the mask. He pulls out his phone, looking through it for something. “Shit.” Vigilante looks from his phone to you. “This isn’t you.” He holds up the screen and shows you a blurry picture of your boss walking out of the office. Sure you look alike - you have the same hair colour and both wear suits to work but she’s significantly older. 
You shake your head. 
“What were you doing coming out of the senator’s office?” He accuses, as if it’s your fault he’s kidnapped you.
“I’m an intern. It’s my first week.”
“So you work there? Right?” he asks desperately.
“I just get coffee and take notes, dude.”
He tilts his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Oh man, Harcourt’s gonna freak out when I tell her I fucked up again. I can’t believe I picked up the wrong hostage.”
You sit, wrists still tied together in your lap staring at him. Now what? Maybe he’ll just drop you off outside the bar where the grabbed you.
“Look, we all make mistakes. It happens to the best of us. No harm done so-”
“Stop.” He looks up at you. “You know I can’t let you go.”
You take a deep breath and look at him silently for a few seconds. “So now what? Are you gonna kill me?”
“I-”
‘I’m a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it’s fantastic’
Vigilante looks at his phone, apparently confused that it isn’t the source of the music. 
“It’s mine,” you sigh, embarrassed by your choice of ringtone. You try to pick your phone out of your suit pocket with tied wrists. 
“Your ringtone is Barbie Girl?” 
You nod.
He pauses, giving you an unreadable look from behind his mask before reaching into your suit pocket. “I can’t let you have this.” He declines the call. Your phone pings as a message arrives. “Someone called Melanie says ‘Your boyfriend is on the news again’,” he reads.
Fuck. Your best friend Melanie knows all about your stupid crush on the man sitting in front of you right now.
“Hey- don’t read my messages!”
“I need to know if your boyfriend is gonna come looking for you.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, I swear. She’s just making a stupid joke.” 
Your phone pings again. “She’s sent you a picture - what’s your passcode?”
“I said don’t read my messages. I’m not telling you my passcode.”
Vigilante sighs and turns your phone around to face you and your Face ID unlocks it. He freezes when he opens the image.
Oh, god.
He turns the phone back towards you again and you groan. Melanie has taken a picture of the news on her TV. Vigilante is on the screen. Shit. 
“I told you, it was just a stupid joke,” you mumble, feeling your face turning scarlet. 
“I didn’t realise you were a fan,” he says, and you can tell from the tone of his voice that he has a stupid grin under his mask. 
“Well, I’m definitely not a fan right now.” You hold up your wrists. 
“She can see you’ve opened it. What should I say back?”
“Hmm... say LOL…” He starts typing. “Call the police. I’m being held hostage.”
He deletes what he just typed and gives you a stern look. “Fine, I’ll just go through your messages and see what you said before.”
“No, wait! I was kidding!” You try to snatch the phone from his hands but his reflexes are too quick for your tied hands. He doesn’t have to scroll very far back through your messages to find what he’s looking for.
Vigilante laughs and starts reading aloud. “OMG, he is so fine… I’m just gonna say that again.” He sends the message and you hear the notification of Melanie responding almost immediately. He reads it aloud. “She says ‘Knew you’d appreciate it - wink emoji’.”
“Can you just kill me already?” you ask sarcastically.
He puts your phone in his pocket. “I’m not gonna kill you.”
“So what am I doing here then?”
“Waiting. For now.” You stare at each other for a few seconds. It’s hard not to feel like you’re in immediate danger. “Do you want a beer?”
Perhaps your life isn’t in danger.
You blink at him incredulously. He walks over to the refrigerator and returns with two beers. He opens yours and hands it to you.
“Can you untie me so I can drink it?” You ask, testing the waters.
“Are you gonna try and attack me and escape?”
You’ve never been in a fight in your entire life. There’s no way you’d be able to win in a physical altercation with him, not with his reputation for massacring criminal gangs.
“No.”
Vigilante looks you over, and you stare up at him, waiting for his assessment. “I could take you, anyway,” he says casually and puts down his beer on the coffee table so he can untie your wrists.
You feel yourself blushing again at his words. Vigilante could take you. He means in a fight. But your mind immediately thinks of him taking you in another way.
When he unties you, you rub your wrists, feeling the sweet relief of having them free again. Vigilante kicks back on the couch and gestures to the seat next to him. You move over and perch uncertainly on the cool leather. He lifts the bottle of beer, and then realising he’d need to remove his mask to drink it, puts it back down.
“You can take it off if you want,” you suggest. 
“And let you see my face? No way. I have a secret identity.”
“Well, I bet you’re handsome under there.” 
What are you doing? 
The sensible voice at the back of your mind supposes that flirting with him might convince him to free you. Another slightly louder, drunker voice in your head suggests that flirting with him might convince him to fuck you. 
He looks away, flustered. “I dunno about that...” 
“That’s why you wear that mask, right? You’re probably so good-looking you’d be easy to spot in a line-up.”
He lifts the edge of his mask - you think for a second he’s about to reveal who he is but instead, he takes a long drink of beer. You watch his sharp jaw and exposed neck as he swallows and get a brief glance at his wet lips before he pulls the fabric back down over his face again.
“That mask doesn’t do you any favours, hiding a jawline like that.”
“Stop it, okay. I know what you’re doing.” You raise your eyebrows. “You think because you’re pretty, you can seduce me into letting you go. It’s not gonna work.”
Pretty. 
You try not to smile, to keep your expression blank. You wish you could text Melanie - she’d lose her shit right now. But you’ve laid it on a bit too thick. Even though it is true - he does have a ridiculously nice lower half of his face.
“I’m just passing the time. Believe it or not, I’ve never been abducted before.” You shrug. “So what’s the plan? Stay here until your boss on the phone tells you to kill me in the morning?”
“She’s not my boss.”
“Sounds like she is.”
“I work alone. Mostly. Or with Peacemaker.”
“So let me go then. I won’t tell a soul. I promise.”
“It’s not that simple. I can’t just release a hostage.”
You think. Hard. “What if I could get you the information you need? Then I’m an accomplice. Not a hostage.”
“I thought you just got the coffee?”
“I know where my boss keeps her laptop. And her password.”
“What kind of boss tells a brand new intern her password?”
You purse your lips, wondering how much you can safely reveal to him. “She trusts me.” 
“The way you want me to trust you?”
“It’s different… I just don’t want her to get kidnapped too.”
He tilts his head. “That could work.” He hesitates. “But I’ll need to double-check with Harcourt in the morning.” He spins his bottle of beer in his hands.
“I’ll give you the laptop’s location and password if you let me see your face.”
“Uh, no. You’re giving me the location and password in exchange for letting you go.”
“This is a hostage negotiation, right?” You give him a coy smile. “Let the hostage do some negotiating.”
“No way.” He lifts the bottom of his mask up again to take another drink.
“What if I suck your dick, will you show me your face?”
Vigilante chokes on his beer.
“Jeez! I’ve already told you that you can stop coming onto me. I’ve agreed to ask Harcourt to let you go.”
“I know. I’m just shooting my shot,” you smile, resting the beer bottle on your bottom lip. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
“Yeah, right.” He says though you can’t help but notice the way his visor-covered eyes linger on your lips.
“Dude, you saw my messages. I’ve always wanted to bump i​​nto Vigilante. Under different circumstances, obviously.”
This intrigues him. He turns in his seat, resting on the arm of the couch to face you. “Uh, what kind of circumstances?”
“Well, if you really want to know - they’re in my texts with Melanie.”
He looks at your phone again, opens your messages and starts scrolling up. His eyes widen as he pauses, reading. “Damn…”
“Which one are you reading?”
“There’s more than one?!” His voice is higher pitched this time and you grin. “Uh… ‘I wish we’d bumped into Vigilante when those guys were harassing us leaving the club last night. He would have kicked their asses and I would have-’... Holy shit.”
He adjusts himself in his seat and you can tell he’s hard just from reading your text exchange. You tilt your beer towards him encouragingly. “You can say it.”
“...‘I would have sucked the fucking soul from his body.’ Girls say this kind of shit to each other?”
You sip your drink and say nothing.
Vigilante looks at you like you’re a piece of cake he really, really shouldn’t be thinking about eating. “It would be morally wrong for me to sleep with a hostage.” He looks into your eyes.
You edge closer to him on the couch. “Accomplice, remember? I’m not a hostage if I work with you, right?”
“Listen, you are so hot. And if I met you in real life… fuck. It would be a different story.”
“This is real life.”
“You know what I mean.”
You get on your knees and crawl over to him between his legs. He shrinks back into the corner of the couch cushions. “C’mon. I won’t tell your boss.”
He swallows nervously. “You’re making it really hard for me to say no right now.”
You run your fingers over his belt. “Say you don’t want me to and I’ll stop.” Vigilante groans. You crawl forward again and press your forehead against his masked one, looking into his visor. “Tell me you don’t want me to suck your dick,” you whisper.
“Fuck…” He breathes. “And they call me crazy.”
“Maybe you should be more careful who you let in your car.” 
His gloved hand grabs your wrist and for a second you think he’s going to make you stop but instead, he guides your hand onto the bulge through the fabric of his pants. Vigilante leans his head back, exposing a tiny glimpse of his neck between his mask and his suit. Your tongue finds the skin there, sliding across it and you feel him shiver underneath you.
It’s like he’s at your mercy now as you slowly, agonisingly slowly, undo his belt revealing the v-shape of his lower abdominal muscles covered in a smattering of brown hair. You slide your body down between his legs and kiss the trail of hair below his belly button while your hands work, unzipping his pants and pulling his boxers down.
Vigilante’s cock slaps his stomach when you release it from his boxers. Shit, you have a lot to work with. You’re already wet between your legs just from your conversation but the sight of him sprawled out in front of you - his entire body concealed with the exception of his hard cock - sends blood rushing to your pussy.
You lick your lips and the moment your tongue slides across his head, you feel his whole body tremble. 
“Holy shit,” Vigilante whispers raggedly from behind his mask. He lifts his head to watch as his length disappears into your mouth, and you look up at him with wide eyes and hollow cheeks, sucking and running your tongue along the underside of his cock. 
He grunts as you pull back to run your tongue slowly around his head again. His reaction makes your pussy ache with longing, thinking about how he’d sound with his mask off, moaning like that in your ear.
“Fuck, that’s it. Thaat’s it,” he says through gritted teeth as you find a rhythm, bobbing your head up and down. He threads his gloved hands through your hair - you think he’s going to start fucking your throat but you’re surprised when he doesn’t apply any force, letting you maintain your pace. Vigilante watches you on all fours, your ass in the air behind you as your mouth makes the wettest, sloppiest sucking sounds he’s ever heard.
Then he sees it. A glimpse of your hand under your tailored work skirt, confirming to him again that this isn’t just a ploy for early release. You’re really fucking turned on by being here, sucking his cock.
“Wait…” he whines, tugging gently at the base of your scalp. You pull back, replacing your mouth with your other hand so you can look at him. “Can I fuck you?”
You pull away and bite your lip, still pumping your hand up and down the length of his cock.
“You said you’d show me your face.” Time for your one last bargaining chip.
“I…” He hesitates, propping himself up on his elbows. “I can’t,” he pleads.
“You’ll have to cum here on your stomach then,” you grin, your wet fist picking up pace as he tenses his thighs and tries to stop his hips from jerking up into you. “If you show me your face I’ll let you cum inside me.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he groans. You stop jerking him off and watch him as he pulls his mask off, tossing it aside on the coffee table. He takes a pair of glasses out of his pocket and puts them on.
You stare at him in shock. You were mostly just teasing him earlier- you hadn’t actually expected him to be this good-looking. Sure, you knew from him drinking his beer earlier that he had a nice jawline. But even in your fantasies, he was faceless - he never had gorgeous green eyes and tousled curly hair.
“You’re hot?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. “What the fuck!?”
He smiles. And you can see it this time. It’s beautiful. He has dimples.
The intimidation you felt before when you first saw the masked killer in front of you is nothing compared to how you feel now. You practically melt, turning into putty. Feeling lightheaded you realise you’ve been holding your breath and begin making a conscious effort to breathe again. Seconds ago you were convinced he was at your mercy but now…
“Do whatever you want to me,” you say abruptly. Your underwear is flooded thinking that this man, this ridiculously beautiful killer wants to fuck you.
“Oh… I’m gonna.” He raises his eyebrows and lunges forward, pinning you to the couch and kissing your neck. His rough exterior armour digs into your chest. Your hands wander along his shoulders, trying to find the mechanism to unclip it. He feels your movements and pushes himself off of you so he can undo them himself.
You lie back, watching him remove his suit, revealing a host of white scars and purplish-yellow welts across his toned chest and abdomen. You undo the top two buttons of your blouse. 
“Nuh-uh,” he says, tossing his under armour onto the floor. You let out a yelp of surprise when he grabs the opening of your shirt and rips it open, sending buttons scattering across his floor. He pushes your bra up, not bothering to take it off to suck on your tits. 
You run your fingers through his curly hair, feeling him sloppily run his tongue over your nipple. His teeth clamp down on your breast - hard - and you squeal and yank his hair.
“Ow! Not so rough!” 
He just gives you a mischievous smirk and you release your grip when he sucks the spot gently, in a sort of silent apology. It’s definitely going to leave a bruise tomorrow - a secret souvenir of your night with the masked man from the news all your friends know you have a crush on.
But Christ, what have you let yourself in for?
Vigilante moves down your body, kissing your stomach and pulling off your skirt and underwear in a single movement, throwing them haphazardly on the floor. You gasp when his mouth returns to your body and a soft, wet heat envelopes your pussy. He drags his tongue slowly, carefully along your slit.
“Oh fuck…” you whine, arching your back. “Vigilante, I- wait, fuck, what do I call you?”
“Vigilante,” he says between achingly slow licks. Every nerve ending seems to light up, sending blissful signals to your brain.
“No, I - I mean what’s your name?”
“Vigilante.” 
God damn.
You look down and lock eyes with him, his pupils blown so wide his green eyes almost look black as he stares up at you, swirling his tongue in wide circles against your swollen clit. The entire lower half of your body tightens up and the walls of your pussy clench, desperate for something to squeeze around. His fingers, his cock - anything. 
You reach down to find his large, gloved hand and tug at the fabric, trying to pull it off him. 
He pulls his mouth back and removes his glove with his teeth.
“Is this what you want, baby?” He asks, running a single finger through your slick, wet folds and over your clit.
You nod.
“Beg for it.”
“Please, Vigilante.” 
He sinks two fingers deep in your cunt. 
“Is this what you fantasise about?” His questioning makes you tighten around his fingers as he draws them in and out of you. Your breathing quickens in time with his fingers pressing against that sweet spot deep inside your pelvis.
He stops abruptly and the whine that escapes you is pathetic.
“Answer me.”
“Y-yes,” you moan. “Every night.” You wriggle, trying to fuck yourself on his stationary fingers.
“Finger fucking yourself like this?” He curls his fingers up into you again.
“Mhmm.”
“Use your words.”
“Yes, fuck, just like… like this.” You bring your hand to your clit and start rubbing yourself in an obscene demonstration for him as he watches from his kneeling position, one hand between your thighs.
You’re close now, you can feel your orgasm burning up inside you as your cunt starts pulsing more consistently around his digits and your breathing gets heavier. Just as your release is about to crash over you, he withdraws his hand and grabs your wrist, moving your hand away from your clit.
“Wha-?” You pant dazedly. “I was just about to-”
“I know,” he smirks. “Not yet.”
Fuck. He’s fucking edging you.
His lips meet yours for the first time and you moan softly into his mouth. His tongue rolls against yours and you can still taste your sweet and salty juices on him.
Then, without warning, he flips you over and you gasp wordlessly face down on the leather couch in stunned silence. He pulls your hips back and up towards him.
“Fuck, Vigilante,” you choke, lifting your head up and arching your back, your brain working hard to regain awareness of its surroundings. 
The weight of his body presses down on top of you as he leans down to whisper in your ear.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you’re gonna forget my face in a line-up.”
Fuck.
He takes his cock and drags it over your soaking wet entrance, flushed and swollen for him and the broken sob that escapes you is desperate.
“Please,” you beg again. “Just let me cum.”
Vigilante sinks into you with a forceful jerk of his hips and your pussy seizes up tight around him as your face is forced onto the cold leather again. You try and push yourself up onto all fours.
“Nuh-uh, I like seeing you like this,” he says with another forceful thrust, knocking you off balance. “Hands behind your back.” You huff and do what he says, his still-gloved hand pinning your wrists behind you. “I shoulda just kept you tied up, huh?”
You can’t answer, you can’t move, you can’t do anything except just take him. Sparks of electricity reignite inside you, the deepest you’ve ever felt it as he pounds into you, hitting just that right spot again. You turn your head to look at him over your shoulder and when you see Vigilante biting his lip in concentration your walls start pulsing and squeezing around his cock.
“Not… yet.” He grunts. “Not ‘til I say.”
He pushes down on your wrists and it feels like all the air is being knocked from your lungs with every roll of his hips. 
“Fuck, you’re such a… pretty… little… hostage,” he groans through gritted teeth, each thrust punctuated by his praise. 
“Yes…” you whine because it’s all you can manage to say. It’s all you can think. That one singular confirmation repeating over and over again in your head - it’s all you want to be for him. Fuck, you’d happily spend the rest of your life locked in his apartment, letting him use you like this every time he came home after a night of murdering criminals.
Your eyes roll back in your head, fireworks rocketing and exploding into a million bright pieces. If there’s a heaven, it would look like this - a beaten-up leather couch in a shitty apartment in downtown Evergreen.
His other hand that’s free of his glove and not pinning you down reaches round and starts working your clit with rough, calloused fingertips. You squeeze your eyes shut, not realising they’ve been watering. Real tears leak from the corners, leaving your face a wet mess on the leather seat. You choke out a sob, not sure how much longer you can fight against your orgasm.
“Shh, shhh… it’s okay, baby. You can cum. Let it all out for me.”
And you do.
Everything goes dark and you’re lost in the pleasure that takes over your body, your climax wiping your mind blank of all thoughts except Vigilante. Your pussy clamps down hard like a vice around his cock as you squirm on his fingers. It’s only when you feel him shudder and collapse on top of you that you realise he’s come undone too.
You both lie there for a second, feeling the warmth of your combined mess leaking out and the sound of him panting, exhausted.
“Vigilante…” you say in a strained voice, breaking the silence.
“Yeah?” he exhales and takes another gulp of air.
“You’re crushing me.”
“Oh.” He hoists himself off of you. “Let me get you a towel.”
With difficulty, you sit back upright to wipe your eyes and fix your hair. Vigilante returns with a towel and you sit on it, grateful for the barrier between you and the wet, sticky couch cushion.
He throws himself back down beside you. “Whoo, I’m beat!” he says cheerfully. “What do you wanna do now?”
You look at him uncertainly and glance at your watch. “It’s one in the morning.”
“Right, cool. Do you wanna sleep on the couch or-”
‘I’m a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it’s fantastic’
Who’s phoning you this late? 
He picks up both of your phones from the coffee table. “It’s mine,” he says and accepts the call. “Hello?”
Wait - his ringtone is Barbie Girl too?
“It’s me,” says the same voice of the woman who called him earlier. “Have you dealt with the hostage yet?”
Vigilante looks at you and hesitates. He swallows. “Yeah. It’s done.”
“So she accepted the bribe? You’ve got the laptop?”
His eyes widen. “The bribe? Oh! Yeah, sure! The bribe...”
“Vij, you didn’t kill her, did you?”
“What?” He lets out a maniacal laugh. “You’re crazy, Harcourt, of course I didn’t kill her. What’s the, uh, budget again?” He winks at you and makes an ‘ok’ sign with his thumb and forefinger. He’s insane, you think.
“I dunno, like five grand?”
“Phew! Then yes, it is all dealt with. Done and dusted. I will get that laptop.”
“You don’t have the laptop yet!? Vigilante, you need to get the laptop before you hand over the money, idiot.”
“Copy that,” he grins.
“Vigilante, what the f-”
He hangs up, cutting her off and tosses his phone aside.
“Good news. I can let you go once you give me the laptop.”
“And the five grand?” You raise your eyebrows.
“Wait, you heard that?!”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Well not until you give me the laptop.”
“I can get it tonight if you need it? We just need to swing by my boss’s house before you drop me off.”
He frowns. “Oh. Right. Yeah, of course. I need to… need to take you home.”
You tilt your head to one side and look at him fondly. You fix his messy curls and he closes his eyes at your touch. “Or… I could stay here tonight? Pick up the laptop tomorrow morning once you’ve fixed me some breakfast?”
He perks up. “I could do that! …You’re one hundred per cent sure you can get it though, right?”
You sigh and extend your hand. “Give me my phone.” He does and watches you go through your contacts.
The line rings and a familiar but slightly croaky voice answers.
“Honey, it’s one in the morning. Is everything alright? Did you get home okay?”
“Hey Mom, I’m fine. Listen, I think I forgot to send an email before I left the office and I can’t sleep worrying about it. Can I pick up your laptop first thing tomorrow?”
She yawns. “Sure thing. Don’t get stressed about it. Just go get some sleep.”
“Thanks, boss. I love you.”
“Goodnight sweetie. I love you too.”
You grin as Vigilante gapes at you.
“Goff’s assistant… she’s your-?”
“Yup. Now c’mon, show me where your bedroom is.” You stand up and reach your hands out, waiting for him to guide you. You step on one of your shirt buttons as he leads you towards the hallway. “You owe me a new shirt, by the way.”
“I just made you five grand. Use that to buy a new shirt,” he says, opening the bedroom door.
“Hey, what happened to the hostage negotiation? These are the terms of my release.”
“Oh, you’re not going anywhere,” he smirks, shutting the door behind you.
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