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salexectrian-heir · 3 years

Text

messages from last night update

chapter below the cut | ao3 link

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1ST 4:57 AM

[Joker] Hi

[Joker] Story time

[✧ Oracle ✧] i see yusuke returned ur phone

[Joker] Aha, yeah. After swearing on my life I would not make any more poor life choices

[Joker] I assume that was your doing

[✧ Oracle ✧] ur welcome

[Joker] Hmm well I might not have sworn hard enough

[✧ Oracle ✧] ???

[Joker] bet you 500 yen you can’t guess where I woke up this morning (without hacking my location)

[✧ Oracle ✧] oh god akira… jail?

[✧ Oracle ✧] again??!

[Joker] No

[Joker] Better

[✧ Oracle ✧] !!?

[Joker] On the catwalk of the auditorium

[✧ Oracle ✧] BRUH

[✧ Oracle ✧] didnt yusuke like walk u home???

[Joker] He did

[Joker] I just didn’t stay home after

[✧ Oracle ✧] (-_-;)・・・

[✧ Oracle ✧] but don’t they lock up the buildings at night….

[Joker] ...

[✧ Oracle ✧] also i’m p sure catwalks are at least fifteen meters in the air??

[Joker] ...

[Joker] I am surprisingly still very dexterous while intoxicated

[✧ Oracle ✧] o m g

[✧ Oracle ✧] what possessed u to sneak out of the dorm, pick a lock, scale scaffolding, and fall asleep on a metal beam is / literally / beyond me

[Joker] Me too, It's all very...fuzzy after getting back to the dorms

[Joker] Maybe I was a cat in a past life

[✧ Oracle ✧] cat!kira

[✧ Oracle ✧] congrats u now have a fursona to add to your growing list of ‘sonas

[Joker] Cat!kira go prrr?

[✧ Oracle ✧] HAHAH a self-drag?

[✧ Oracle ✧] Someone truly is hungover and regretting his life choices

[Joker] Jokes aside, all that flexibility training I did in hs apparently paid off

[Joker] I have no new bruises or injuries that I am aware of so I made it up in one piece. Somehow.

[✧ Oracle ✧] wait hold up I thot all that “training” u’d say u were doing was just like horny akira code for “going to mess around with Sumi after school”

[✧ Oracle ✧] don’t tell me u actually were doing gymnastics with her that whole time

[Joker] Okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] ????

[Joker] You literally just told me not to tell you

[✧ Oracle ✧] but was i right?! i NEED to kno if i was right

[Joker] Haha yes and no

[Joker] We did both

[Joker] is typing...

[✧ Oracle ✧] oKAY OKAY OKAY NO DETAILS (SAVE THOSE FOR ANN)

[✧ Oracle ✧] JUST CONFIRMATION THANK U next

[Joker] You have written fanfic more explicit than anything I could ever tell you I’ve done, AND I PROOF READ IT FOR YOU

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•//д//•)ノ [ok true]

[✧ Oracle ✧] but

[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•̀//д//•́)ノ

[Joker] Ik Ik, I’m teasing. I won’t corrupt your virginal ears

[✧ Oracle ✧] /anyway/ people r gonna be mad jealous when they find out u dated an olympic gymnast

[Joker] She wasn’t one when we dated though so technically I didn’t

[Joker] She found out she qualified shortly before we went back to being just friends

[Joker] I think we’re both much happier this way

[✧ Oracle ✧] Obviously. you still talk to her??

[Joker] Yeah

[Joker] We caught up before the semester started

[Joker] She said she was nervous, but that’s to be expected when you’re on the global stage. Aside from that she’s fitting in really well with her new teammates. She just wishes Kasumi could have been a part of it

[✧ Oracle ✧] </3

[Joker] Yeah :( </3

[Joker] But she’s good

[Joker] Still calls me senpai though...which idk how to feel about that

[✧ Oracle ✧] lol its ~cute~

[Joker] Hmm leaning towards don’t think so

[✧ Oracle ✧] “oh ~senpai~ you’ll still watch me compete in the olympics on TV right?”

[Joker] ...did you listen in on the call

[✧ Oracle ✧] no

[Joker] “no,” she lied like a liar (I know you still have my phone bugged damn it)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1ST 5:01 AM

[✧ Oracle ✧] *kicks down the door to the thieves den*

[✧ Oracle ✧] INARI U FAILED

[✧ Oracle ✧] GUESS WHERE AKIRA IS

[✧ Oracle ✧] (hint: not where he’s supposed 2 be)

[Fox] Preposterous! He was safely returned to his dorm room. I personally put him to bed.

[Panther] you stayed over in their dorm room Fox… isn’t he in there w/you??

[Fox] is typing...

[Fox] Ah. It appears that I am in his bed and Akira is indeed missing. I was on the floor when we went to sleep. I have no recollection of this transfer.

[Fox] I have awoken Ryuji but all he has done is throw his possessions at me in an attempt to silence my “pestering” so I do not think he will be of any help in this situation.

[Joker] Don’t bother with him Fox. He isn’t responsive until at least 9am after a night out.

[Joker] Also, why aren’t the rest of you sleeping?

[Panther] Joker! you’re alive!!! are you okay???????

[Joker] Define okay

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles*

[Panther] where are you?!?

[Joker] You aren’t going to guess?

[Panther] jail?

[Fox] Please let it not be true your detective arrested you last night, and you are suffering in incarceration as we type.

[Joker] Why is jail everyone’s first guess? I was only arrested once!

[Joker] Fuck

[Joker] Also, he is not “my” detective

[Fox] is typing…

[✧ Oracle ✧] u sure about that

[Joker] Oh no

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls reread our messages from last night

[Joker] Oh GOD

[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles louder*

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can’t wait to hear what inari is about to dish out

[Panther] wait what did akira say to you @ ✧ Oracle ✧?!

[Joker] Futaba please *softly* don’t

[Fox] Last night I had to relieve you of your phone before you texted the detective prince incriminating evidence of your state of inebriation and infatuation. You were adamant that you had to send him a picture of a cat as a token of your feelings, which I objected as the image you selected was not flattering of the cat. I may have just met you a few days ago, so please tell me if I am overstepping my bounds, but I do not think sending hideous pictures of cats is a wise way of winning over this man’s affections.

[✧ Oracle ✧] pls show us the picture he wanted to send

[Fox]

[Panther] Hahahah oh akira

[✧ Oracle ✧]

[Joker] …

[Joker] I’ll be staying at this undisclosed location until further notice

[Panther] no Akira!!! seriously where are you??

[Joker] the_view_is_nice.image

[Panther] :O

[Panther] how did you get up that high???

[✧ Oracle ✧] gymnastics training

[Panther] huh? i didn’t know you were a gymnast Akira!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] im sure he’ll tell u all about it now

[Joker] -____-

[Fox] I cannot believe I failed my first mission as the Chosen One.

[✧ Oracle ✧] i can

[Fox] is typing…

[Panther] @ ✧ Oracle ✧!!!!!!

[✧ Oracle ✧] kek

[Fox] I am an utter disgrace to this friendship. How can I even call this a friendship when I have done nothing but leech from the kindness you all have bestowed upon me. How will I ever be able to show my face among you, those whom I have failed. I must atone for the shame I have wrought.

[Joker] You didn’t fail @ Fox, and you are not a disgrace. It was my fault. I was the shitty friend in this situation. I’ll make it up to everyone, and to you Fox. I’ll think of something.

[Fox] Food would suffice.

[Joker] Dinner for a week it is.

[Fox] Delightful!

[Panther] wow he got over that fast

[✧ Oracle ✧] welcome to being friends with Inari, the path of forgiveness is through his stomach

***

✧ Oracle ✧

SEPT 1st 5:07 AM

[Joker] Slight problem

[Joker] I actually have no idea how to get down

[✧ Oracle ✧] u really r part f*cking cat

***

Regrettably, some of his life choices last night did him no favors.

Mistakes had been made. Limits and Lessons had been learned. Unfortunately the hard way.

After miraculously finding a way down off the catwalk without injury into his dorm shower and a fresh set of clothes, Akira managed to show up for his opening shift at Big Bang Blends ten minutes early.

Haru took one look at him when he slinked into the kitchen and immediately said, “Oh dear.”

Akira spun a damp curl around his finger. “That bad, huh?”

“Uhm.” Haru offered him a wobbling, pitiful smile. “You kind of look like how I would imagine a cat that got caught outside in the rain might feel.”

He let out a self-deprecating chuckle and wandered over to the apron rack. “Fair comparison.” Selecting his off its hook, he pulled it over his head. “I’d add on that the cat also got stuck in a tree and developed a splitting migraine.”

“I know just the thing that’ll sort you out!” Haru hovered over to Akira’s side. “Whenever I--” she paused, considering her words with a finger to her lip, “overindulge,” she settled on with a giggle, “I’ll make myself a cup of my special tea. It instantly clears my head and calms my stomach.”

Akira’s stomach rolled unpleasantly. “ Special tea ?”

Haru nodded vigorously. “It works like a charm! And I’m not just saying that because I drink it, I have a friend--well, I might be overstepping if I were to call him that, we aren’t that close,” Haru sighed, “but I make it for him too when he occasionally stumbles in here in a similar state.”

“Do I want to know what’s in it?” he asked hesitantly.

Haru beamed brightly at him. “No.”

Akira groaned.

“I promise it’ll work,” Haru said, wandering out of the kitchen and over to her collection of loose leaf teas that were displayed in clear, sealed jars behind the counter. She called back to him, “You’ll perk up in no time!”

He gave her a weak thumbs up.

Picking up the task list from the side of the walk in freezer, he resigned himself to his fate of ingesting whatever the fuck concotion Haru was going to feed him. It couldn’t have been worse than what he drank last night. In all honesty, he would have been feeling way, way, worse if Yusuke hadn’t convinced him to drink so much water when they got back. Akira would like to think the fact he wasn’t curled up on the floor in the fetal position on the cafe floor was also thanks in part to the Amazake he had chosen to drink the night prior too. But the thought of the non-alcoholic sake made his stomach churn harder so he stopped that train of thought immediately, and focused on setting up the dining area. His head felt like it weighed five pounds heavier than it usually did, which made moving it a bit of a hassle, but he had the opening sheet to finish before the cafe opened and he’d damn himself if he didn’t deliver.

What his stomach did seem safe to think about was luck stats, and that maybe Futaba was onto something when she had made that off hand comment in their chat last night. Akira was incredibly lucky to have landed two bosses ( three if he counted Sojiro but the man was more like a father than he ever was a boss) who cared more about his well being as a person than as a source of cheap labor. Watching Haru make his tea as he flipped chairs down off the tables only amplified his guilt of showing up before her utterly and unmistakably hungover.

Being the sloppy friend did not sit well with Akira.

He swore to himself as he pushed in the last chair he took down that this was the first and last time he ever did anything as stupid and irresponsible as he did last night. Not to mention, his luck wouldn’t last if he kept this up. He’d make it up to everyone somehow, and Haru in particular now. He wouldn’t let his current state impact his work.

And once he stopped feeling like dogshit and could form a coherent argument, he was going to have a long, hard talk with whichever one of his personas decided it would be great fucking idea to drink so much, scale the interior of the theatre, and fall asleep on a steel beam no greater than sixty centimeters in width. Because honestly, what the fuck ?

Even In high school, his “peak stupidity” years, he hadn’t done anything as dumb as this.

Okay, well, that was a lie.

He had done a lot of stupid, often illegal things (see: petty theft, breaking and entering) in high school that to him, had been justified. He was quite gifted at stealing and knew his way around a lock with professional proficiency, and he had gotten away with it unscathed for a very long time.

Except for the whole getting arrested and put on probation thing , which ironically had been for a crime he didn’t actually commit.

“It’s ready!”

“Thanks, Haru.”

Akira swung by the to-go counter reaching for the mystery tea waiting for him and continued on.

After thirty minutes of sipping on whatever miracle cure Haru brewed as he checked off the morning set up tasks, it fucking kicked in. The mind fog and nausea disappeared almost entirely, settling his stomach enough that he was able to keep down some Advil and melon pan with Haru for breakfast. Akira could handle the headache until the medicine took over.

He just couldn’t move too fast or too sudden (Akira was still a little too off balance for that), or turn his neck sharply (thanks to what he had drunkenly decided to use as a pillow the night before). But he powered through it as he set about stocking the various coffee beans in their containers.

The last item on the task sheet they completed together. Prepping the food items for the pastry case with all of the baked goods Haru had made the night before. In addition to mochi, goma dango, and other pastries one would expect to enjoy with tea and coffee, there was always some kind of cake. Meticulously and lovingly decorated, sliced by hand that Haru showcased in her cake display. Today’s selection was a daring one, a pink lemonade cake with delicately applied ombre pink frosting and topped with candied lemon slices that were evenly spaced, each sitting on an artful dollop of whipped white icing.

“Did you want to try a piece, Akira-kun?”

Akira glanced over from where he was sliding a tray of nerikiri into the case. A plate with a modest slice was being extended to him. Eyeing the color up close, his stomach protested. Apparently still a little too hungover to test the limits of his digestive tract with such an extravagant confection.

“It looks amazing, but I think I’ll stick to the melon pan this time Haru.”

“I can always save it for la--”

A sharp series of knocks interrupted their conversation.

From his position squatting on the floor, he checked the time on his phone. There were still five minutes until the cafe officially opened for the day. Haru had warned him there were always a few people who showed up early and failed to read the sign.

“I’ll get it,” Akira sighed, sliding the door of the pastry case shut. “You finish with the cake. I’ll handle our impatient caffeine addict.”

“Oh don’t worry the cake’s all done, I just cut the last slice.” Haru waved Akira off. “I can get him.”

Him?

He hastily straightened up, brushing a few stray sugary crumbs off his apron and immediately looked over at the entrance. Every muscle in his body seized up. Waiting outside the glass doors was one impeccably dressed and restless looking Akechi Goro. Akechi rolled his shoulder, adjusting the strap of his messenger bag while he checked his phone.

The message Akira sent Akechi last night intrusively echoed in his head the moment the former detective looked up and locked eyes with him. Pocketing his phone into his suit jacket (it had to be custom fit, because there was no way it could have cut his figure that well without tailoring), he lifted his chin ever so slightly. Akechi’s expression twisted wickedly into something that short circuited Akira’s brain.

Oh.

Fuck .

A war waged between two primal instincts in Akira’s body at the sight, the overwhelming urge to run in the face of danger clashing with a tidal wave of lust. The rush coursed through his veins, freezing him in place. Much like prey that had been cornered, his heart began to thrash against his ribs.

Akechi’s grin was sharp and salacious, a stark contrast to the innocent and winsome smile that the T.V. ready Prince so often wore. Akira didn’t know him all that well (... yet ), but God , that smile just seemed to suit Akechi so much better.

Akira got to witness this side of Akechi knowing it was reserved for only him for about two whole seconds before Akechi’s face changed, shifting into his composed, manufactured doll-like mask when Haru made it over to let him in.

The transformation gave Akira something pretty close to whiplash.

Really arousing whiplash.

“Good morning Akechi-san,” she greeted him, holding the door open with a warm smile.

“And same to you, Okumura-san,” he returned politely, stepping past her and into the cafe proper. “Pardon my early arrival, I have quite the busy day planned unfortunately and was hoping to get a jump start.” He brushed aside a few strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes with a gloved hand. “I hope your morning has been going well.”

“It’s barely started,” Akira muttered, reaching for a to-go cup to start Akechi’s order to busy himself with so he wouldn’t stare at the breathtakingly handsome man in front of him. His heart needed a break already.

Instead of writing Akechi’s name, he doodled a pair of handcuffs with the bold letters A and G within the negative space in each cuff (Akira admired his work for a brief moment and thought Yusuke would be proud). He marked the drink as a caramel latte, recalling what Haru had put down on his cup yesterday. Then proceeded to make a pour over instead.

Haru flipped the sign to open, and then said, “Very well, so far! I tried out a new cake recipe, you have to try it.”

Akechi laughed, and Akira’s stomach clenched--but this time in an all too pleasant way. Akira diverted his attention from grinding the beans for his drink to watch the detective ( Fuck! ) The sound was light and lyrical, and after what Akira witnessed… sounded totally out of place coming out of the same mouth that had held that smug, voracious grin a moment ago.

“As much as I would love to, I must decline. I cannot get into the habit of having cake for breakfast.”

“Then you must take a slice with you!” Haru walked past him and over to her cake display, lifting the glass lid and taking a piece out.

“Alright, if you insist,” Akechi conceded, coming to a stop in front of Akira, who moved on to scooping the grounds into the damp filter. The proximity made it near impossible to keep his eyes off the detective, but Akira somehow managed it, forcing himself to pay attention to his pour.

“Actually, would you mind if I borrowed your barista for a moment, Okumura-san?”

Akira snapped his head up from his preparations and met Akechi’s eyes once more ( God damnit! ). Which was a really dumb idea as a shock of pain spiked down his neck. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop from wincing.

A dangerous glint appeared in that maroon gaze that catapulted Akira’s thundering heart into his throat.

“Is he in trouble?” Haru peered over her shoulder from where she was packing a bright pink slice of cake into a to-go container.

“He might be,” Goro murmured just loud enough for Akira to hear, then broke their eye contact to address Haru, “I assure you, nothing of the sort.” He smiled that infuriatingly fake smile at her, complete with an innocent tilt of his head. “I just need to ask him a few questions, in private.”

Haru shot Akira a questioning stare, Do you need me to say no?

He shrugged nonchalantly, or as nonchalantly as someone who was having a very intense internal meltdown over an insanely attractive man could, and said, “It’s fine, Haru.” He continued to pour the scalding water in a circular motion over the coffee grounds in the filter, doing his best to quiet all the alarm bells in his head.

His response must have come off convincingly enough because Haru nodded and said, “Well, I can’t see why that would be a problem.” She hesitantly returned Akechi’s smile. “But I will need him back in a bit when the morning rush hits.”

“This shouldn’t take too long,” Akechi turned and gestured to a table in the corner of the cafe--far away enough from the counter that Haru couldn’t possibly overhear their conversation. Then under his breath he added, “As long as Kurusu-kun doesn’t resist, that is.”

Akira cleared his throat, willing his throbbing heart to drop back into its cage between his ribs. “Go on, I”ll join you when I’m finished.”

Akechi nodded, leaving the yen for his coffee on the counter and sauntered away. Akira topped off the pour over and transferred the liquid into the to-go cup. On his way around the counter he snagged what was left of his miracle tea and took a swig. He hoped it would replenish his mental reserves to handle the upcoming verbal sparring match he was sure he was about to walk into.

Akechi, in his immaculate glory, was leaning back in his chair languidly with one dark clad leg crossed. He watched Akira closely as he wandered over with their drinks. Akira suddenly felt incredibly out classed and underdressed in his usual cardigan-v neck combo he had going on compared to Akechi’s tan suit jacket and pressed button down shirt.

He slid into the seat opposite Akechi and pushed his coffee across the table. Akechi nodded in thanks and brought it to his lips.

Akira pretended he didn’t watch the way Akechi’s throat moved as he swallowed his first sip.

The detective hummed approvingly. “Black.”

“The way you actually like it,” Akira said with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Is it now,” Akechi chuckled darkly against the lid still pressed to his lips. “Sadly, my coffee preferences are the extent of where your knowledge of me ends.”

In the tenuous silence that descended after that statement, they sipped at their respective drinks. Gazes not once wavering off one another.

“I assume you know why I’m here,” Akechi finally said, cutting the tension.

“When I said ‘come get me ’ I didn’t mean ‘corner me at work ’,” Akira hissed over his cup of miracle tea.

He could think of many other, far more superior places he would have loved to be cornered by Akechi in. But Akira kept that part to himself.

The detective leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist. “You do realize if this were a real investigation and I caught you as unaware as you were this morning, you being at work with your Boss present wouldn’t have deterred me.”

Akira stole a glance at Haru, who was busy writing the specials of the day on their blackboard, then drained the rest of his tea.

Akechi followed his gaze and continued on in a saccharine tone that contradicted the alluring smile his mouth had split into again, “But since it’s not, I highly doubt you want an audience for when I bend you over the counter and take what I want from you.”

Akira promptly choked.

Any lingering doubt Akira may have had about Akechi’s preferences evaporated. Akechi knew exactly what he was saying. He had to have, right? There was no heterosexual explanation for that response.

Point to Akechi, he thought, accepting the fact his face was probably as red as the flowering plant hovering three inches above his head.

“How considerate,” Akira managed to rasp once he got his tea to go down his throat correctly. Swallowing burned like a bitch. Now he had to deal with a sore throat on top of the rebellion being staged by his heart and stomach, and the leftover vertigo from his hangover.

“Will you hand it over now?” the detective asked with a hint of sugar coated venom.

“Hate to disappoint, but you’ll be walking away empty handed this morning. I left it in my room.”

Which wasn’t a lie. In his haste to recover from last night’s escapade and get to work on time, he hadn’t thought to grab the handkerchief. The last thing he expected was this.

“I think you’re sending me mixed signals.”.

“Am I?”

“You tell me you want one thing, then act like you didn’t expect it to come to fruition when I follow through on it so I’m curious,” Akechi titled his head and his hair shifted, shining ethereally in the early morning sun streaming through the window. “What is it you really want, Kurusu?”

For you to fuck my brains out, Akira thought. But admitting that so bluntly to Akechi’s face felt like defeat. So, he kept the stupid illusion of their game going and leaned in.

“I want to see if the Detective Prince is really as good at his job as the rumors say he is.” Akira mirrored the detective’s head tilt and offered him a crooked grin. “I won’t be that easy.”

“If you want me to physically remove it from your person, then I must insist from this point forward you carry it with you. If every time I corner you, you… aren’t ready,” Akechi’s smile grew wider, “then doesn’t that defeat the purpose? And unlike you it seems, my time and attention is limited.”

“Rude.” Akira mimicked the detective’s posture, dropping his chin into his palm. “My time is limited too. I just can’t have you stalking me at work. And--” what Akira really meant to say next was , I cannot possibly work and retain my sanity with you watching me like that all the time. But instead said, “--Think of Okumura-san’s business. You’ll scare away her customers.”

Akechi shot him an unimpressed look. “Somehow I highly doubt that.”

Wow. Cocky bastard.

"Well,” Akira said, changing tactics by imbuing a little bit of truth, “I imagine you can relate to not wanting to be distracted at work, with your fans and all.”

“They can be...rather inconvenient at times, yes.” Akechi studied him intently. “Alright then. Let’s make a deal.”

“Making a deal with the enemy? Akechi,” Akira feigned a gasp, “don’t tell me you’re a dirty cop.”

The detective snorted into his coffee. “I’m going to choose not to entertain that comment and suggest we establish some ground rules.”

“I thought rules didn’t exist in investigations,” Akira said mischievously.

“Like I previously stated, good thing this isn’t one, then?”

They shared a private smile.

“I propose this,” Akechi said, straightening up, hands clasped on the table. “From this point on, you will carry it on your person. I will catch you off guard within the next two weeks and take back what is rightfully mine. Our working hours are exempt from this. Obviously, the common spaces in the dormitory will be too by default. Should you ever need me as your RA, that will come first and foremost, I take my duties seriously. As should you. I think you’ll find these terms agreeable and respectful of each other’s time. Unless there are any other locations you want to deem off limits.”

Akira made a show of considering Akechi’s words, tapping a finger against his cheek. This was literally the most drawn out, intellectually charged foreplay Akira had ever engaged in but he couldn’t say it didn’t excite him. In fact, there was something exhilarating about it.

“No. Everywhere else is fair game.”

“Really?” Akechi inquired, grin breaching that rapacious territory again. “Be careful what you agree to, Kurusu.”

Akira shrugged and leaned back.

“So,” Akechi prompted, “you won’t say no, will you?”

Of course he was going to accept. So Akira simply said, “I think I’ll hold on to your handkerchief.” And then held out his hand. It felt like the right thing to do.

“Hah, excellent,” Akechi smiled and shook it firmly. The leather was soft and warm as it dragged against Akira’s palm. “Otherwise, I will be forced to order a room inspection and somehow I doubt that is how you want this to play out.”

“If you are inspecting the room while I’m in it, then I might be.”

Right after the words left his mouth, the logical part of his brain that wasn’t stuck on being hungover and horny on main finally spoke up and reminded him of the very important, expulsion worthy, major cockblock that was currently being housed in his room: Morgana.

But then Akechi’s mouth upturned devilishly, and suddenly Akira decided he’d cross that furry bridge when he got to it.

“Well, then. I must be off. Thank you for the coffee,” Akechi said, dropping Akira’s hand as he stood up. “I have an interview taping in…” he checked his phone and sighed, “just over an hour. Hopefully the trains are on schedule.”

Akira tilted his head. “Still doing those?”

“Yes, keeping up appearances on behalf of the precinct,” Akechi explained, “I may be officially on hiatus as a full time student, but I still pick up cases from time to time. The media wants to know how I balance it all.”

“Ah. Explains the get up.”

Akechi bristled at the comment, his nose wrinkling ( cute! ) and brows drawing down as he straightened his already perfectly straight tie. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“Nothing,” Akira teased with a lilt in voice, “It’s nice, maybe a little stuffy.” He deliberately looked Akechi up and down. “But I bet you’d look better out of it, judging by what I saw you wear the last time you showed up here.” He couldn’t fight the coy smile his mouth twisted into even if he tried. “If you’re looking to show off, those shorts from yesterday would do a better job.”

The call out was meant to fluster Akechi, but the detective’s face remained remarkably even toned. Flawless even. Too flawless.

Could he be... he's totally wearing makeup.

Akira lifted a brow pointedly.

That did the trick, earning Akira a heated glare before Akechi turned his head sharply away. The movement roughly shifted the hair around his face, revealing a sliver of skin previously hidden. To Akira’s rapidly dawning delight, the detective’s neck was rapidly turning pink.

“Shut. Up. Kurusu.”

Oh, so Akechi blushes all the way down when he’s flustered. Fascinating. Akira filed the thought away for… later.

For totally innocent purposes.

Totally.

Akira stood up and slipped in front of Akechi, demanding to be looked at. Giddy with his new discovery. “Oh? What’s this? He can dish it out but can’t take it?”

Akechi’s eyes flashed as he brought himself up to his full height, and stepped into Akira’s space. Scowling down the few centimeters he had on him, he forced Akira to take a step back. “You,” he said lowly, continuing to move forward, making Akira walk backwards until his back hit the counter, “are a brat .”

“Just figuring that out now, detective?” Akira smirked. “I thought that was obvious.”

From this close Akira could see just how gorgeous the detective’s eyes truly were. Flecks of light red dotted the center most part of his eyes, giving off the illusion of glittering in the light. He was close enough that if Akira leaned in a fraction more their noses would touch.

A very polite, soft cough came from somewhere on Akira's right.

The detective’s eyes widened in shock. He quickly put space between them again and turned to face Haru, who was standing in between the kitchen and the counter area looking anywhere but at them.

Akira owed her now a second apology.

“I wish both of you a good day,” Akechi gracefully recovered and turned on his heel. He flexed his shoulders as he opened the door but stopped with one foot out the door.

“Oh, and Kurusu-kun?” Akechi turned halfway to face him, “Be sure to check your email this afternoon.”

And then he was gone.

***

It’s Always Snack Time in Tokyo

SEPT 1ST 8:00 AM

[Takuto Maruki] Hello! I was going to wait until I saw you in person, but I can’t resist telling you the good news! I submitted the paperwork to bring on an official research assistant. The chair of the department should grant me an answer by the end of the week. The position is yours once I get the documented approval.

[Takuto Maruki] That is, if you are still interested in conducting research with me like you did over the summer

[Akira Kurusu] I am

[Takuto Maruki] Even more wonderful!

[Akira Kurusu] Won’t it be unethical if you don’t let other people apply for the position though?

[Akira Kurusu] You can’t play favoritism

[Takuto Maruki] I, fortunately, get to make the rules in this situation and I wrote that I could appoint the position to any student that met certain criteria and showed promise in the field

[Akira Kurusu] You literally wrote the position description so that only I fit that criteria, didn’t you

[Takuto Maruki] You would be correct! :D

[Takuto Maruki] So if you’re free and want to get a jump start on assisting, I was hoping to recruit you this upcoming Friday to proctor an exam.

[Akira Kurusu] An exam? The second week of class? Savage Sensei

[Takuto Maruki] It is a 300 level that meets M/W/F so the curriculum moves fast. This cohort in particular is grasping the concepts at a much faster rate than the other two I teach for this course.

[Akira Kurusu] When is it? I open the cafe Friday mornings

[Takuto Maruki] 2pm

[Akira Kurusu] Okay, I can make that work. I’ll be there

[Takuto Maruki] Wonderful! :)

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 11:12 AM

[Skull] yo i am not back readin any of that

[Skull] wat did i miss?

✧ Oracle ✧ Changed Skull to Edgelord Can’t Read

[Edgelord Can’t Read] I CAN EFFIN’ READ!!!

[Edgelord Can’t Read] i said i wasn’t gonna, not that i cant big difference

[Edgelord Can’t Read] ur the one who cant read

[✧ Oracle ✧] wow gr8 comeback edgelord im so offended. what r we 7yrs old

[Edgelord Can’t Read] shuddup

***

Gotta Go Fast

SEPT 1st 11:28 AM

[Skull] BRO A CATWALK?! WTF?!?

[Skull] how the eff did u get down??

[Joker] My amazing cat-like reflexes

[Skull] bro

[Skull] how u feelin btw

[Joker] You know that feeling you get when you’re about to go over the hill on a rollercoaster?

[Joker] Like that

[Skull] oof

[Skull] ill make u my ma’s soup when ur shifts over, its the best for this kinda shit

[Joker] Why is everyone being so understanding with me today

[Skull] were ur friends man we gotchu

[Joker] alsdjflskf

[Skull] uh did the rollercoaster drop or smth

[Joker] Haha no

[Joker] Thanks Ryuji

***

The Phantom Thieves of Cats

SEPT 1st 2:01 PM

[Edgelord Can’t Read] UH HOLY SHIT EVERYONE CHECK UR EMAILS

[Panther] what?? why??

[✧ Oracle ✧] im surprised u even read ur email

[Joker] Oh.

[Joker] Fuck.

***

To: Shujin Hall_5th Floor

From: Akechi Goro; Niijima Makoto

CC: Kawakami Sadayo

Subject: Violation of Dormitory Rules

Dear Fifth Floor Residents of Shujin Hall,

This is a friendly reminder that there is a strict No Pets Policy in this Residence Hall. A contraband item, a can of pet food, was located on the floor inside the trash room on Friday night. As such, we will be conducting room inspections beginning tomorrow, starting with rooms located in the Girls’ Wing. Let this be an example to all that the consequences for violating this rule will be termination of their dormitory agreement and the loss of their on campus housing status. Any additional charges will be determined by the Residence Hall Director, Kawakami Sadayo.

If you have any further information on this subject, please feel free to contact us.

We hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

Sincerely,

Your Resident Assistants

Akechi Goro

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice / Psychology Major | Philosophy Minor [email protected]

Niijima Makoto

University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice Major | Psychology & Law Minor [email protected]

#akeshu #shuake #akeshuake #goro akechi #persona 5 royal #persona 5 #akira kurusu #goro akechi x akira kurusu

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inkykeiji · 4 years

Note

part 3 of touya-nii was so good like ofc this fucker has a branding pen lying around in his bedroom ofc he does lol. anyways! i loved creepy lil virgin shig :) he’s so diff from “break my bones” shig, but in like the best way. the way he wanted to cuddle and keep touching the mc was just ahhhhhhh. his love language is physical touch and i loved the way that was written! esp the part where he’s scratching at his neck and the mc takes his hand away and either kisses his neck or kisses his hand (i have terrible memory). that was so sweet and tender in a not very romantic moment. i also feel so so bad for the mc bc she’s gonna be locked up every more tho and i’ve been thinking more about this since part 2, but like what does she do without touya. like she’s pretty much been cut off from the rest of her social life, so how is she gonna work or go to school u kno. how does her life proceed without her being wholly dependent on touya. idk i just feel bad for her a lil. esp bc i think that she’ll grow to resent touya. i rlly think that touya will hold shig over her head for ages like they could be having the most romantic moment a year after she “cheated” and he’ll just bring up her and shig and ruin the vibes. as much as she brought touya back to her, i think she relinquished the last bit of freedom she had in order to do so. i wonder if she thinks it’s worth it. i also wonder how shig behaves after all of this. like there’s gotta be some way he can sneak into the house and see the mc (bc i do think he’ll be a lil attached like cmon he’s the other man and he lost his virginity to her) but idk how their relationship will move forward. shig seems too clingy to just let her roll off his shoulders like some random fuck.

but yeah :) lots of thots are being thunk and i just wanted to say that i loved part 3 and the whole series. i loved how even after thousands of words of smut u still managed to twist our stomachs into knots in the final sentences of part 3. very bittersweet. -star anon

so sorry star anon i wanted to answer this earlier but then my boyfriend came over and he is uhhh very distracting so!

he is so different from break my bones shig!!!! break my bones shig would be like,, 8 years older than him???? like in my mind he’s about 28 tho i should really mention this in the actual story somewhere huh but yeah it was super fun to explore tomura in such a different context & i’m so so so happy you guys like him 🥺

she’s absolutely helpless without touya and that’s how he likes it. he brings her to and from school (after the incident in part 1 he never wants her walking home again) and firmly believes she has no need or reason to work, not when he can more than adequately provide for her. BUT i’m glad ur feeling a lil sympathy for her!!! atm she seems more than content with being touya’s perfect little doll but in the future, who knows????

oh he’d definitely be the type to bring it up in an argument too!!!! they’d be fighting and then he’d pull the ‘yeah well you fucked my best friend, so’ even though he is not nor has he ever been best friends with tomura, and even tho it would be random and literally not make any sense in the context of the argument, it would still get reader to stop, pause just for a minute, enough for touya to metaphorically lunge for that kill n probably gaslight her a lil etc

I TOO HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT HOW TOMURA WOULD BEHAVE AFTER THIS INCIDENT.

aw thank you so so much for that lovely compliment 🥺 <33 and as always thank u so much for your fantastic feedback!! i truly look forward to it so much, you always ask such intriguing questions and i love hearing what affected you most!!!!

#aaaaah seriously thank you so much for this <33 #i hope you’re treating yourself with kindness and drinking plenty of water!!#truly always so thought provoking!!#star.anon #clari gets mail

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clowndaydreams · 4 years

Text

Yan!Marvus x Reader

I hope you all like it!

“Can you pass me the potato chips?” You looked over to your companion. Marvus nodded and reached over to get said bag from his side of the couch.

“here ya go.” You grunted a quick thank you to the clown and started to dig in. You had been hanging out with Marvus all day. You still couldn’t believe how friendly you’ve gotten with the superstar since you met him at that concert you went to. It had been a few perigrees since then, but the clown had since made a habit of inviting you over randomly when he was free. You were just happy that he remembered you at all.

Currently though, you were both relaxing on the couch and watching some Slam or Get Culled episodes that he was in. Right now, a season finale was playing. He was the final challenge for that season’s top 2. They had to rap battle him and whoever fared better was the winner. You glanced over at him. He was in his usual facepaint, but was casually wearing a neon yellow ripped tank top and matching pajama pants with some designer troll logo and ‘JUICY’ all over them. How he managed to look so hot in that would forever elude you. You snapped out of it when he started speaking again.

“u kno, i thought ricard was the better 1 outta those 2.” You pretended to glare at him.

“SPOILERS!” You jokingly huffed, lightly shoving his arm. It didn’t move, as you’d expect.

“LOL! XoD sorry fam, seen dis crap 1000 times alreddy.” Wait, then why did he let you pick this episode? Or even agree to watch this with you? If this was boring you could do something else. And as if he could read your mind, he held up a hand.

“dun worry bout dis. is chill or w/e. butt srsly, u kno who gunna win.”

“Still! I wanna watch it!” You giggled. You both watched on in silence as Marvus was brought on to surprise the contestants.

“How were they behind the scenes?” You asked as you watched the confessionals for both of the contestants.

“ricards moirail b a clown, so me n him knew each other alreddy. he wuz p chill i guess lol.”

“What about Krayaa?”

“turns out she wuz a fangirl. foamin at the mouth n erythng.”

“Really?!” You turned to him to try and see if he was lying. He looked almost bored about it all. Like you were both talking about the weather or something. You wished you could be so relaxed about meeting a rabid fangirl and somehow living to tell the tale. Seadwellers were supposed to be stronger and more durable than landdwellers. At least, that was according Polypa anyway. Huh, you had to remember to check on her later after you got home too.

“ye. she wanted 2 pail after the shoot.” Your jaw dropped. Krayaa was a seadweller! Did he have to listen to her? She could have killed him for not listening!

“Nahhh, no worries,, the contract she signed for the ep woulda had her disqualified and mah bodyguards woulda whooped her b4 she had a chance. ;op” He chuckled. “If she managed 2 get thru them, I aint no wimp.” He added, flexing his arms a little to prove his point. You almost couldn’t stop staring. He had to know what he was doing to you…right? Granted, this was a crush you had no intention of pursuing. If you were speaking honestly, Marvus was a guy who probably didn’t want commitment due to his lifestyle. Even then, he had people throwing themselves at him constantly. People his own species. People who were a lot better fitting with his general aesthetic and not some poor wandering alien that he would DM when he was high when they both should have been sleeping. Your own concepts of relationships and types of love were different. But you could dream, right? You were content with just having him as your designated hot friend anyway. …That did mean you were allowed to drool over him in your mind. As long as it doesn’t get creepy to him. Yeah. You were fine.

“u gud (Y/N)? u tryna lure snacks into ur mouth or smth?” You snapped out of your stupor.

“Ew! Gross! I don’t eat bugs like you weirdos!”

“it aint gross. literally free snacks u can catch. :o)” He laughed.

“Where I’m from they’re gross!” Granted, there were places that did eat crickets and the like on Earth, but you would never tell him that.

“dun knock it till ya try it.” He got up and left the room, returning after a moment with a small box.

“…What is that.” You had a sinking feeling you knew what it was.

“chirp grubs.” He opened it and there they were. Disgusting caramelized crickets.

“I can’t.” You shook your head.

“more 4 me lol.” You looked away as he ate a few of the crickets. You looked back at him when his palmhusk rang. It sounded like a clown horn version of one of his songs. Fitting, honestly.

He glanced at it and rolled his eyes before silencing the phone.

“Who was that?”

“thottie.”

“Oh…” He looked bored again. Not good. What could you talk to him about to keep him interested?

“Uh…You ever get tired of the fans trying to aggressively pail you?” Ok, that wasn’t the best choice for conversation. Your bad.

“i meannn….in the beginning yeah. now its kinda the norm 4 me ufeelme?”

“Yeah, I guess. Does it ever make you feel like you can’t have a relation-er, quadrant?” You assumed it would, but that would also come with fame in general, wouldn’t it? You weren’t sure. Then again, if he didn’t want-

“kinda. i think its kinda funny how i can attract psychos, fans and thots, but not my crushes.” You sat up straight. Marvus had a crush?

“Wait. You…uh…are pale or um….red? for somebody?” You didn’t have the best grasp on quadrant terms.

“lol sumtimes i forget your an alien.” He leaned back onto the couch.

“butt yeah, i have a few crushes at the mo.” He smiled, staring at the ceiling. Few. He has more than one crush right now. That soft smile said it all. He had it bad.

“…Can you tell me who they are?” He looked over at you and looked sheepish.

“i…dun think is a gud idea.”

“Please? I have to know who the great Marvus Xoloto has a crush on.”

“u kno 1. itll be awk af :o(“ Now you had to know. Now you were thinking about whether or not Marvus had a type. What if they were all mega hot models? Wait! Did he have a crush on Chahut? They would totally have to know each other. Who else did you both know??? He heard of Cirava, but you didn’t think they talked. Who???

“…kk fine. only if u slam a faygo tho.” You gave him a look.

“Isn’t Faygo…not for non-clowns?”

“is just us. whos gunna kno?”

“You promise nobody’s gonna know?”

“on my life. u slam a faygo, n ill tell u who my flush be.” You thought it over. You remembered tasting the stuff at clown church when you went you went with Chahut that one time. Just a sip left you a bit tipsy. A whole bottle may have rendered you unable to be coherent enough to even process who his flush crush was. Would it be worth it? You felt a choice coming on. Either way you had to drink a certain amount in order to maybe try and learn this random troll’s identity. The question was, do you try and counter his offer or just slam the entire bottle and hope for the best?

…

It would be better to respect your own limits. A bunch of your friends had lectured you a few times over putting yourself out just to potentially make a friend. This would piss them off and would probably not end in your favor even if you did decide to just go with it anyway.

“How much faygo do I have to drink?”

“hm…” He got up, went to the kitchen and got a small can of Grape Faygo, a normal bottle for one and a whole 2 liter bottle. “imma b nice. u get a choice. u gotta try 2 finish the can. u get 1 q with the name if u finish the can. Smol bottle gets u 2 qs and the name n the 2L gets u as many qs as u liek. fair enough 2 u?”

…Now you wanted to chug the 2 liter. You haven’t even seen anyone try to down that other than the Grand High Blood once when you took Karako to clown church for the first time. But that guy was a clown and he is HUGE. You, not so much. But, you chose to respect yourself for once. You’d see how you felt after the small can and go from there. You picked it up, opened the can and took a deep breathe. Powers that be, let this not wreck you and let this answer be worth it. If he cops out with his answers, you would try to hurt him. You started chugging. You did your best to try and treat it like a shot like Cirava taught you so you wouldn’t taste the overly sweet flavor too much. After a moment of light agony and attempting to not drown in the soda, you reached the end of the can. You slammed it onto the coffee table and started panting. Ok, you weren’t feeling woozy like before. Maybe those tiny sips when you went to clown church helped your body get used to it.

“u gunna try the otha bottles?” You managed to shake your head. You weren’t gonna do that again. Your head started hurting. You looked over at him. Were his eyes always so vibrantly purple? Woah, now they’re flashing purple. What the heck? Was this Faygo high? You now understood why all the other clowns were so goofy after drinking a cup of this stuff. Crap, now your head was starting to hurt.

“Wh-Who….who is it..?” You started feeling like you were gonna pass out. You laid down on the couch. You needed to close your eyes. That was way too much for you. You felt Marvus pick you up into his arms.

“ye…after u wake up bb.” Wake up? Wait, did he just call you a pet name?! You were about to question him when he tilted his head.

“dangg,, u managed 2 stay awake with chuckles and faygo? ur stronger than i thought. Soz bout this babes.” His eyes became blindingly vibrant again and you blacked out.

#marvus #marvus xoloto #yandere!marvus #yandere!marvus x reader #olive fics #Let me know your thoughts!

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mikeshanlon · 4 years

Note

iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!

#if we were villians #books #also literally dont apologize for any mistakes or going bonkers like i have no problem n i understood what u meant anyways LMAO #anon #ask

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anon-family-incorrect-quotes · 4 years

Text

Roblox Lovers

Hyunjin x Felix

1388 words

Crack Fic

________________________________________________________________

A knocking at the door woke up hyunjinnie.

“OMG GO AWAY EOMMA YOU MAKE MY LIFE SO MISERABLE” he yelled

“OI IM SENDING U AWAY TO AUSTRALiA TO LIVE WITH BANG CHAN”

“WHY WOULD U DO THAT U KNO I LOVE IT HERE OMG, uR THE WORST”

“BECOS I HATE U NOW TAKE THIS BAG AND GO OMG”

Hyunjinnie screamed as his eomma left the bag on the floor of his room. He grabbed it and she pulled his hair all the way to the door, and threw him into the car and the drove to the airport and he boarded a plane all the way to Australia.

After one hour he arrived in australia. Bang Chan was waiting for him in the airport and he ran to him and sobbed in his arms.

“Channie hyung, eomma is so mean but at least im with my fave bro”

“Its okei Hyunjinnie-ah, ur safe now” said bang chan and they went back to bang chan’s apartment.

When hyunjinnie logged onto his roblox account and waited for his roblox bf to join. He had been dating memeboi1900 for two days now and it was honestly the most amazing relationship he’d ever had. Suddenly memeboi1900 was online and siad

“wassup boo”.

“OMG HE IS SO ROMANTIC!!!!!!!!” hyunjiine thought, blushing bright red as he typed up his answer

“Not much, hbu honey uwu?”

“Missing you bb :(“ and hyunjinnie had a nosebleed. “Omg i missed you too!!” and their roblox characters kissed. They managed to play roblox togwther 4 another 30 minutes. Then memeboi1900 siad he had ti log out cause he needed to catch the bus to school and hyunjinnie was super sad but he was like ok, since he did too. One day him and memeboi1900 were gonna meet irl and it would be the best day of his life.

He got on his bus and looked around to see if there were any free spots. There were none he could sit on alone. hyunjin sat down next to a hawt boi from the other school.

“what evs my roblox my bf is sooo much kyuter lol” he thought. the hawt boi move his totally cool black and purple hair out of his face. he was watching tiktok vids (tiktok is the best app ever made OK), and hyunjin couldn’t help but look at his phone.

“tha fuq u doing m8″ said the hawt boi

hyunjinne looked up and met eyes with the hawt boi.

“OMG WHY”S HE TALKING TO ME” hyunjin thot.

“um hi my naems hyunjinnie uwu.”

“oh hey im felix, but don’t flurt with me im taken.”

“Liek id want to flurt w/ u felix. My bf is sooo much cuter than you are” hyunjinnie says very angry, his brown orbs shaking.

“MY bf is kyuter than u so u can just stop thx” said felix and he went back to looking at his tiktoks. Hyunjinnie was so offended.

“Whatevs” he siad and then the bus stopped. He got out of the bus and walked towards the school, dreaming of his memeboi1900.

When he got back on the bus on the afternoon, felix was there.

“Oh hey hyunjinnie, sorry for being mean in the morning uwu, i just missed my bf”

“I also missed my bf in the mroning! Thats why i was so mad lol, friendsies uwu?”

“Friendsies”

This time there was no spot for either of them to sit down, so they just stood. Suddenly the bus topped and hyunjin started falling but felix reached out and grabbed him.

“Omg omg omG WHAT IS HAPPENING RN” hyuninnie thot, as felix’s arms grabbed his middle and brought him bak up. He swore lix’s arms lingered for a second before he quickly pulled his arms back and turned orange. Hyunjiinnie was sure he was the same coulour. He couldn’t help but notice though, how felix’s dark orbs seemed sparkle in the lightand how totally hawt his jaw and arms were. “OMG WHAT AM I THINKING I HAVE MEMEBOI1900 HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS DISRESPECT”

they turned away and didn;t sepak the entire bus ride after that and only mumbled a bye when going off. Hyunjinnie ran home, locked himself in his room and logged in to see memeboi1900.

“I missed you bb :(“ he said

“I missed you 2” said memeboi1900

They talked for a bit b4 memeboi1900 asked

“Wat do u look leik irl?’

“Idk cute i guess” said hyunjinnie back “hbu?”

“Im very hawt, I have black hair with purplpe in it”

“Wait waht?” hyunjinnies heart was going 20000 miles per hour as he read that last part. He was going crazy right? There was no way… no way that felix could be memeboi1900 right? But hyunjinnie loved both of them, so it made sence.

“Do u live in australia irl????” wrote hyunjinnie

“I do… how did u know?”

“OMg omggmg”

“What?”

“FELIX??”

“...no way” memeboi1900 typed out. “We couldn’t… know each other in real life,,, could we?”

“Omgomgomgogmg”

“No way… hyunjinnie?”

“YES!!! OPPA OMG!”

“LET”S FIND EACHOTHER STR8 AWAY HYUNJINNIE”

“WHERE SHOULD WE MEET”

“AT THE SHOPPING MALL”

“OK”

Hyunjin grabbed his jacket and ran down stairs. “See you hyung, im gonna go meet the loml!” “Okie dont be l8 4 dinner” he replied as hyunjin and his brown orbs accidentally slammed the door shut running out. “Kids b crazy these days.”

Hyunjin kept running as fast as he could to reach the shopping mall so he could see his Lix. He got to the shopping mall and looked around frantically. There across the street, he could see Felix, his memeboi1900 looking around almost as frantically. He lifted his arm up and waved so that Felix could catch sight of him. Felix saw him and started running across the street.

*CRASSSHHHHH*

Hyunjinnie was horrified at the sight infront of him. The car had hit felix as he had ran across, the street. He couldn;t move but then he remembered it was FELIX, and he ran to his side. Felix be out here DYING, and Hyunjin out here, fighting through his tears to call the ambulance.

Hyunjin stood next to Felix’s hospital bed fighting his tears. The doctor came into the room.

“Is Felix-ah gon be aight?” hyunjin asked through sobs.

“He will live, but he may have some problem with his memory.”

At that moment Felix woke up from his sleep. Hyunjin immediately ran towards him and hugged him, squeezing him tightly. He only stopped when Felix didn’t hug back. He pulled away and looked down at Felix’s face. Felix’s eyebrows were scrunched up together as he looked into Hyunjin’s eyes, his brown orbs lightly wavering as he looked into the taller males eyes.

“Who r u?” He asked “As I explained b4, he may experience some memory loss, such as forgetting your entire existence. Sorry bro.” said the doctor.

Several years later, and Hyunjinnie was now living in Korea again w/ Bang Chan and, now, Jeongin. He was walking across the street when he thought he saw a familiar hand but waved it out of his mind. It had been a few years since felix had forgotten about them and there love, as soon as he left the hospital room he ran home to Bang Chan and begged him to move countries. Bang Chan was gucci with that so they moved to Korea. Jeongin moved in with them later because I just felt like I should add another SKZ member to the story and have no proper way of doing so.

Anyway, Hyunjin had left his past behind him. He wanted to live on, however, the ghost of his past still haunted him. He could see Felix in a dimple, or a fortnite dance. Everywhere.

Suddenly a hand grabbed him and he spun around and found himself looking at the freckled face, and brown orbs of Lee Felix.

“Hyunjin? Hyunjin I remember everything now! Everyday since I got my memories back I’ve been looking for you, I thought I should just give up but then I saw you and I knew that we were meant for each other!” he said sobbingly.

They started crying and hugged each other, the shorter male fitting perfectly into Hyunjins arms like some sort of puzzle piece. Felix-ah and Hyunjinnie, memeboi1900 and hottiesinurarea, 4eva.

#hyunjin #felix #crack fic #stray kids #i hate it #i had to write it so you have to read it sorry #i dont make the rules #oh wait #i do #roblox dating to irl dating

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judememories · 5 years

Text

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: oOoohohOhoh im in love w judas.... ju-Das juda-ah-ah... i rly missed jude tbh so i decided to bring him in as a second. i hv faith i cn manage jugglin i... ...... .. . have faith. in case u dnt kno it is me (nai) n this is like. the one (1) male chara iv ever managed to play longer than jst a few weeks. truly jst Zee Fruit Of My Womb! bt anyway. jst gna leap right in to the intro. we die like men

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger's rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying "fuck off" to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

he hd to do community service bc he kind of... hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he... stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like... drivin around the place sort of... tryin nt to cry.....KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw... broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room....... n thts where hes been 2 explain his absence to any of u whose charas had... connections w him Way Back When

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure....... hes always thot he ws straight... fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds... who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

frm this point on i wnt lie iv pasted in his old intro bc. a bich is lazy! a bich is predictable! and a bich! is! unapologetic!

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was bornthey just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work outthey were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plansthey literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a rly successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit, especially kerouac, n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Judepersonality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a lot, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam..... my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges along that Dramatic model jawline. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#wshedintro #grief tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw #think thts all of them... theres other stuf in his past bt... think iv jst alluded to it rather than anythin specific so. winks!#mayb #abuse tw #bt idk... ok posts

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zackmephisto · 4 years

Text

dirt watches aew

this episode changed me as a person

nick vs fenix NAME A MORE ICONIC MATCH

this is already fucking stunning no one ever @ me ever again

THE ADIOS AMIGO AND THEN COUNTERED AND THEN THE SEE YA I'M EMOTIONAL DON'T TOUCH ME

HOLY SHIT THAT ROPE SHIT INTO THE HURRICANRANA

oh god that's right they're both the younger brothers THIS IS POETIC

if u wanna show someone pro wrestling. this should be a match you show them.

was upset when nick got him in the sharpshooter just bc I didn't want the match to end

holy fuck that was so good

if this crowd isnt as hot for this women's match as they were just then i'm yeeting myself off my balcony

god I am so heart eyes for these women. could watch this for ages

THE REVERSAL

THIS AWESOME

god these two are so fucking good

shida won but tbh both of them looked fucking stunning in this match. could have ended any which way and i would have been thoroughly impressed.

what the fuck.

COWBOY SHIT!!!

HANGMAN BEING THE ONLY ONE WITH AN ENTRANCE THIS IS DIRT RIGHTS

orange Cassidy and chuck coming out during commercial is actually dirtphobic so nvm

o kip ok I'm interested

jimmy havoc ok. didnt he get his ass beat not too long ago

JUNGLE BOY AND MARKO STUNT I'M DECEASED

Pentagon!!!!

SONNYYYYY

joey!!!!

oh god. oh god. oh fuck its MJF OH FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!! god hes looking so tan and s*xy

how old is Billy Gunn now

OH OH GOD MY DUDE

CHUCKIE OH MY GOD THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

orange... I love you.

SONNY TWERKING THANK YOU

max.... i hate that I love you. but I do love you.

CHUCK HUGGING ORANGE LIKE THAT ME TOO

MARKO I LOVE YOU KILL HIM

marko :(

ew. staple gun.

this is big nasty

cant i have one dynamite where i dont have to see shawn spears

ok the asshole chants for max i want u 2 kno that i agree w the crowd but I still love u

ORANGE BEAT HIS ASS PLEASE IM BEGGING

THANK GOD

that's the most heel thing mjf has ever done. fuck him breaking up with cody. he eliminated orange

HELLO?!?!?!??!

please don't eliminate mjf my crops are dying

thank u wardlow. whoever u r

THANK U HANGMAN!!!!

ideally this ends with hangman and mjf. can you imagine that match? can you imagine my rights?

fuck you penelope ford what else have you done

JUNGLE BOY HOLY FUCK

OH GOD JUNGLE BOY AND HANGMAN but when did max get eliminated

OH HE DIDNT

oh my god.... oh my god it really is my rights...

SORRY AEW SAID DIRT RIGHTS !!!!!!

SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M GONNA SCREECH ABT THIS UNTIL THE END OF TIME

an upset? who was upset? i for one stan our southern californian kings

where can I get that blazer. so i can wear it with my tiddies out so jericho sees how ridiculous looks

me: shits on chris jericho

also me: sings hella loud to his theme

i have champagne should i pop it for him

ok me when i have to admit a customer is right and hager is my manager right behind me

OK THIS IS GOOD CONTENT SORRY

"Chicago has a hockey team and two baseball teams" and then the hard cut to the dude in the bears jacket made me shit myself

say bubbly. do it.

hager say sorry for jericho's dollar store headband challange

SCU LOOKS GOOD OMG

wait hold on can we talk abt how a black man handed chris "i played the grand wizard of the kkk in a movie" jericho his first L in a e dub

THE YOU GOT PINNED CHANTS FUCK YEAH

U GET UR DATE SCORPIO SKY

the melanie chants are sending me-

"i never meant to embarrass you" HEYOOO

"melanie gained a lot of weight since high school" "i like big butts and i cannot lie" SCORPIO MY FUCKING KING THANK YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE

"I think its cuter than baby yoda-" ok... maybe he got it

MAKE IT A TITLE MATCH

FUCK YEAH OH MY GOD I CANT WAIT

oh my god scorpio sky i.... i...... I-

LE BITCH!!!!!! LE!!!! BITCH!!!!!!

hey sammy guevara 2008 dirt called she wants her maroon skinny jeans back

i'm kinkshaming proud n powerful

what did nakazawa and cutler ever do to anyone other than be good boys

scorpio sky finessed that title match and i'm frankly jealous

WHY BRING MARKO AND JUNGLE BOY THIS HURTS

LUCHASAURUS THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING

oh okay. okay. they're big. they're bug dudes. jesus damn.

can't blame hager. i wouldn't want to fight luchasaurus either i would have ran too he's big and clearly Better than u

big depressed that dynamite is only 2 hrs long

luchasaurus vs Peter Avalon???? ok.... ok.

"it looks like life has found a way" for this. i hope that peter Avalon survives for even a minute longer

anyway luchasaurus <censored>

good evening luchasaurus <censored>

i stan one dinosaur family and also luchasaurus <censored>

oh! private party and proud n powerful ok. dirt rights.

o the t shirt. maybe i'm crying.

that pin break holy fuck I love these two teams

holy vertical lift

i literally would have cried if they got that double stomp holy shit

Noah fence but this match needs to be faster bc i desperately need darby vs mox. my crops are dying

hurricanrana is still one of my fave moves in all of pro wrestling

isiah kassidy's leopard print ass. that's it. send the tweet.

that was so fucked up what the fuck???? i thot aye ee dub was better than that

Nick Jackson And His Ugly Shirt Make The Save

and thank god. would have sued if private party lost

DUSTIN?!?!?!?!?!?

i'm so <redacted> for mjf vs hangman none of you have a Clue

KENNY AND PAC SCREEEEEE

kenn...ny????????????

kenny :(

THIS! FUCKING! POP!

darby you dramatic fucking SHIT

god his theme goes so hard.

THE BODY BAG I!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M NOT READYYYYY

holy fucking shit.

is moxley huge or darby tiny

THAT NO SELL. JESUS.

suddenly I'm a whore all the sudden

i'm so goddamn tense I cant liveblog my butthole is clenched

the body bag moving is cool and I get it but it's also a little funny. maybe I'm drunk. per aew tradition. but it's a little drunk funny

don't talk to me I'm tense

AAAA!

oh my god he fucking killed Darby

yes darby lost but sorry. mox needed to paradigm shift him from the top rope to get the pin. that speaks. fucking. volumes.

#dirt watches aew

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lanasaved · 5 years

Text

cue me, clanking noisily at a nearby manhole as i attempt to scrabble my way bk out of the sewer like the stinky little rat tht i am. enchanté, ghouls! some of u might remember me (nai/from manchester so i pronounce things like a gallagher brother n i’m profusely sry abt it) bt if nt i hd to drop off the face of the Earth rp wise fr a hot minute there bt now im bk n i couldn’t resist reviving lana so???? here we r. u kno the drill more abt her under the cut!!

( cis-female ) haven’t seen LANA JAMESON around in a while. the KRISTINE FROSETH lookalike has been known to be (+) VIVACIOUS & (+) ALLURING, but SHE can also be (-) UNRELIABLE & (-) CARELESS. The 22 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in BALLET. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/ha/the beast from split. )

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror

SO i think in terms of explainin where she’s been fr the past month i’m gna say tht she didn’t rly.... tell a lot of ppl??? probably only a select few bt to others im guessin she was pretty vague bc she hates discussin anythin serious/personal. anyway essentially she’s been back @ home helpin her brother out n i won’t elaborate much more bc im a thot

frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey

she’s local to the ny area i jst havent decided where exactly she grew up tbh. probably somewhere upstate

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few rly big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst.... a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!

#water:intro #inhales a deep breath before slappin down these tws #theyr all only briefly touched upon / vague bt! jst to be sure #rape tw #statutory rape tw #abuse tw #ptsd tw #hospitalisation tw #hypersexuality tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw #also im literally 2 lazy to finish doin her blog so if u click on the pages n r shocked by the barren findings then i jst. i jst dnt kno #wht to tell u

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bowsersrighthandwoman · 5 years

Text

Therapeutic Friendships

Takes place after 'Stage Fright?'

Saihara has friends too guys

I kno people like to brotp iruma and ouma (same thooooo) but imagine this

Akamatsu and Iruma as the lesbian angel and devil on Saihara's shoulders

@owoanonchan

Loud laughter filled the house.

Saihara laid on the couch as he stared up at the ceiling, his fingers intertwined with each other on top of his chest. He held a blank expression on his face as the laughter went on and on and on.

Honestly, she wasn't who he wanted to talk to. He wanted to talk to her girlfriend and his best friend but she was out at work and he really needed to talk to someone. And its not like Iruma was a bad person... she was just... incredibly vulgar.

He glanced at the blond inventor when he heard a wheeze.

"You done yet Miu," he deadpanned.

"Ahahahahah!!!!! w a it," a cough, "ok, ok," Iruma took a deep breath then sighed and gave the man a level look. "What's the problem again?"

Saihara sighed. "The problem," he stressed, "is that i shouldn't have let things escalate like that. He's my client."

Iruma stared then raised an eyebrow, the metaphorical question mark popping up over her head. "And?"

Ugh, maybe he should've just waited for Akamatsu...

"My uncle always told me to never have personal relationships with clients. It can make you vulnerable and you need to be an unmoveable object in this line of work."

Iruma snorted. "Ok, lets get one thing straight here," she said holding up a finger. "You may be the softest, most naive man I've ever met and you thinking for one second you can be as 'stick up my ass' as your uncle is the dumbest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth"

"Thanks Miu."

"You're welcome," she replied. "Now then, I still dont see what the fuckin' problem is. Who honestly gives a fuck if your fuckin' your client? Like... it's not like its anyones business anyways? And you do like the little twink right?"

Saihara blinked twice. "Y-yeah... But I shouldn't..."

"Yeah yeah 'cause he's your client but, like.... He's still a person and you 2 apparently got it real hot for each other." Iruma snickered while Saihara blushed deeply.

"Besides! You gotta stop trying to hide in your uncle's shadow! Get the fuck out and into your own spotlight you emo bitch!"

Saihara gave Iruma an unimpressed look. "He's the one who taught me everything i know"

"So?? That don't mean you gotta follow everything he does! You're Saihara Shuichi not Saihara Tetsuo!" Iruma crossed her arms and frowned. "You need to chill out, smoke some weed or somethin'. Like, you got a whole ass twink that you actually like throwing himself at you and you're worried about the fact that you're his manager!?!"

"....I should've waited for Kaede," he groaned.

Iruma sighed then leaned forward a bit. "Alright alright, forget that for a moment. You do like him right?"

"....Yeah"

"And you had fun with him that day right?"

"It was the most exciting thing I've ever done in my life," he said truthfully then looked a little sheepish. "Dont tell Kaede i said that..."

"Oh, don't worry, she has way more excitement with me then she ever did with you too so it's a'ight."

"Thanks Miu."

Iruma grinned then winked. "But, seriously, you're stessin' yourself out over nothin'. You both like each other, you both want each other, just embrace your feeling ya dip"

That sounded awfully familiar... Before Saihara could respond, Iruma continued.

"Then grab him, bend him over, and RAIL HIS ASS TIL HE FORGETS HIS OWN NAME!!"

His face immediantly flamed up. He grabbed a pillow and held it over his own face before screaming, "MIU PLEASE!!!" tho it was slightly muffled

Miu cackled.

Bonus!!

"Don't get me wrong, his music is bangin' but I.D.K what the fuck you see in him. Then again im, like, Tenko levels of gay for my piano nerd so maybe that's why."

"M-maybe..."

"I mean, even i can tell he's a devious lil'shit i mean look at him. Bang, Bang THOT ALERT"

"Yeah. Pretty sure he was acting scared so i can let my guard down and give him the chance to seduce me."

"To be fair, if he went up to you and said 'Fuck me' you'd back peddle real quick and come up with like, 87 different excuses so good on him honestly."

"....Thanks Miu."

"You're welcome u vu"

"You 2 would get along."

"You think so emo boy?"

"Yes."

#HEY 2 IN ONE DAY #lesbeans!!#lets dabble in some drabbles #i like miu ok. and tbh i do think she would be best wing girl #'just bang him you coward lmfao'

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dreammutual-remade · 6 years

Text

idol!you and lucas

request: please do a bullet scenario about lucas and his gf both being sm idols - anon

word count: 2.6k

a/n: first of all,,,, this gif hurts me badly, seCOND OF ALL im so sorry for the inactivity !! I have finals this week and I graduate really soon n ive just been v busy !!! also I had hella writers block trying to finish this ish up but I hope u like it anon !!!!its a lil hard for me to write as an idol just because thats such a Wildt lifestyle but I did my best ily

warnings: cursing n also some crying because god knows all of our boys prolly have during their idol days :(((((((

what’s up butter cup

let’s dive tf in

as a pre-warning thingy i’m making you a singer so i’m very sorry if you can’t sing i can’t either bby

alright so this story begins when you’re not even 16 years old and you audition for a bunch of companies

tbh you didn’t think you were /that/ good at singing or dancing but ???

all the companies wanted you??? you got offers from JYP and SM and Pledis ????? go off queen

we stan

anyways

you decide to go with SM since they produced leGENDS SHINEE

FUCK I LOVE THOSE GUYS

(binch if u went to JYP u literally could have been in TWICE ?!?/&.&. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS UR LOSS THOT)

also because you just think that’ll be best for you ?? idk we don’t judge here (i already did though i’m So Sorry)

on your first day as a trainee you’re in search of the female dorms and you just can’t find them

eventually you run into this,,,, Gang Of Adolescent Boys

they’re wearing dorky ass muscle tees and keep saying shit about “foreign swaggers”

(.... y’all already know who it is sjdkdkd)

and you’re Meek and New and Small so you’re like um, hellowherearethegirlsdormsplease

okay there’s four of them and they’re all fckin huge except for one

the Biggest One with the american accent points you in the right direction and you try to scurry away but end up smacking into the Second Biggest One’s arm because he moved in your way on accident ouchie

“god lucas why don’t you just run the poor girl over”

“hYUNG PLEASE”

“hehehhehe i’m just kiddin”

and you just kind of mumble that it’s fine and go on your way

okay so you train for three yEARS before your debut

and you def come out of your shell alright like you’re Extroverted and whatnot

you still see those boys and even make friends with mark and donghyuck and the Foreign Members

but the entirety of the group you met has debuted except Lucas

you’re not close but you wave and say hi when you see each other

you turn pink everytime from Emotions and also Holding Your Breathe Due To Anxiety

and he was cute years ago but he’s only gotten prettier with age dude

they recently dyed his hair to give him some Blonde Stuff and he looks reaLLY GOOD

LIKE TO THE POINT WHERE U HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE

but eventually you’re like hey now i’m a grown woman i can handle this giant childish man !!! quit that @ emotions

alright so you debut like, days before him no lie

you’re a solo artist bc idk

red velvet was full 😔🤟

anyways you’ve been filming the video for the past couple weeks and the concept is sort of filmy and shimmery like old sparkly anime water u kno ?

and you’re wearing similar stuff to what ten was wearing in the new heroes mv (BIG OOF) except less warm toned ?

like swishy sort of see through white shirts and spandex underneath

you’re a Beautiful and Skilled dancer so they have u all over the place with this choreo

on the FLOOR on the WALL in the AIR

no joke they had you in a harness doing cool swirly shit in the air this is the stuff of legends my g

but like the inside of SM ? is very cold

if you’re not filming you’re bundled up in a blanket and trying to rub the goosebumps out of your arms and legs

because you have to look all smooth and flawless for filming and those are two things goosies are not

luckily the song wasn’t a huge ballad because it’s rather hard to belt out long ass notes when you’re upside down lmao

anyways, the song is a bop and the mv is beautiful and you are wearing minimal clothing and although these are all nice things but also

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

the filming is almost done thank GOD

you’re taking a break from filming and you go out in the hall in your costume to go get another water bottle because ain’t nobody around to give a pre debut thot a water bottle 🤧🤧

your arms are wrapped around yourself when lucas jogs up behind you and throws his jacket around you??

literally throws it like you made an oof noise

“um ,? thank you that was aggressive”

“i knOw i’m sorry it’s just you are practically naked and it’s Cold in here and also walking behind you i noticed you were Very Exposed sO”

you turn bright red because that means everyone has seen your ass prolly and you duck your head and pull the jacket tighter around yourself

“oh! i’m sorry i mean you look uhh? really good ?? yeah you look good nOT that i was looking super hard or anything or that i uH saw aNything BUt if i did it would look good i’m sure nOT THAT I thInK about that ?$/&/“

and now you’re both blushing very hard but you feel a little better when you see he’s just as flustered as you

you brush your fingers on his forearm to get him to stop staring at the floor and tell him thanks and ask about when he’s debuting

he tells you the mv filming is done since they had to go Real Far Away to do it and get it done ahead of time and that the teasers will be out in three weeks and then the mv release and then its Show Time Baby

you’re excited for him and he’s excited and you debut really soon as well and he’s excited for you and !!!!!

there’s excitement all over the place

he’s smiling so big and his eyes are cute and crinkly and :(((((

you still got a crush on him /sigh/

one of the staff literally yells your name down the hall and you’re like aw shit that’s my cue lol

you leave him with with a lil squeeze of his bicep and you’re BOTH shook

him because ?? was that fLIRTING

you because ?? THAT WAS FLIRTING

also because his biceps are thicc i’m gonna cry

big baby stands there for like 3 mins just shook and with uwus oozing from his pores

you skrt very quickly to avoid the consequences of your actions and get back to filming

okay TIME SKIP

your mv was released and did GOOD AS FUCK

you didn’t hear it from me but lucas + nct boys were seen on vlive jamming the fuck out to your song

you’re backstage like 10 mins from going on and having an absolute panic attack

what if you trip ??? or your voice breaks !!:&::

what if all the reviews say you’re Trash live and that the mv was better since they edited

what if you FLOP AND HAVE NO FANS

NO ONE DOES THE FANCHANTS

FUCK FUXKFUCKFUXKCUDJ

so you do call the king of debuts

mark lee

and you’re like mARK FUCK IM GOING TO CRASH AND BURN PLEAS LLSSE DHELPD ME

he tells you to Calm The Fuck Down and assures you it’ll be fine but it’s not working and mark is but a young boy he don’t know how to deal with FEMALES

you hear some deep ass voice on the other side ask who’s on the phone and mark says your name and then the voice is closer and deMANDING to be given the phone

u already kno it’s our boy yukhei

he can hear you gasping through the phone and having a mental breakdown and immediately makes his voice all low and soft

wow i’m , affected writing this shit

“hey, y/n, listen to me, you’re okay, you’re fine. i promise it’ll be okay.”

“bUT WHAT IF I-“

“you won’t. you’ve worked too hard and practiced too much. i know you i saw you do it. do NOT let all of that go down the drain. you can do this. now get your cute ass out there and take NO SHIT”

“i know but i am, scared”

“don’t be! this is what you love isnt it?”

“i mean,,,, yeah”

“and you want to do this more than anything don’t you?”

“well , yeah”

“then for gods sake don’t be a wimp and do it”

“hey i miss the part of this conversation where you were being nice to me”

“that part’s over babe you need some TOUGH LOVE now please for me and for yourSELF get out there”

“okay.. thanks lucas”

“anything for you, angel”

yOU HANG UP SO QUICK

how dare he

you were all Comforted but then he went on with that angel bullshit

okay long story short you ended the industry dude

all solo artists BOW BEFORE YOU

VOCAL QUEEN

DANCE QUEEN

lucas: shaking because His Angel did so well and you were wearing white and actually looked like an angel

but you don’t see him for the next like twO MONTHS because he’s promoting boss and you’re promoting your single and neither of you are home ever

when you do get a second to yourself you try to send him an encouraging text but

you seldom get a second to yourself :(((

he does the same thing and they’re so sweet :(

“good morning i hope u slept well !!”

“princess don’t forget 2 hydrate”

“i saw ur mnet performance u looked beautiful <333”

this man is practically begging you to wife him up i mean

he’s cute

he’s BIG and WARM

very sweet to you :(

talented and lovely

absolute dweeb

supportive of you even from great distances

BEST BOY UWU

you try to be just as encouraging back because he deserves it UGH

“bub don’t forget to eat i know ur hungry rn”

“!!!!!! you came foR MY LUNGS WITH THAT CENTER DANCE AT THE END BOI”

“why are u sending me messages u need to rest bby :((“

when things calm down though you,, see each other

he doesn’t formally ask you out and you don’t say anything but, youre dating sort of kind of

as idols you’re both still so so busy and you JUST debuted so neither of you are really allowed to date anyways

you settle for little bits of cuddling and secret touches as you pass each other in the hall

you both stand outside of your respective dorms at night to facetime without waking your dorm mates

he desperately wants to go on dates and do Normal Couple things but there’s no time :(

the most affectionate you’ve ever been is when the girl group who shares a dorm with you was out promoting and you had him over and you took a nap together :((((

he Insisted upon being the big spoon and basically wrapped your whole body up with his limbs

pressed a few lil kisses to the back of your neck and your shoulder when he thought you were asleep

you weren’t though and you turned around to kiss him on the cheek and then tuck your face into his neck and pass tf out

he has to leave though because mark texts him and is like YO I KNO UR WITH Y/N AND HER ROOMMATES ARE ON THE WAY HOME

ABORT MISSION DUDE

and that’s pretty much it :(

months pass without much between you even though you’re trying your best

and even though you live in dorms you’re still so lonely especially when you’re traveling because you don’t have any group members

you don’t want to annoy or worry lucas though so you don’t complain

he notices though and late at night he’ll call you while you’re in bed and talk about his day and how he misses you and wishes you were there

and when you get all emo he says he’ll be waiting for you at the airport

(he really does he goes and hides in the bathroom and texts you so you can go in there and TACKLE HIM)

he still calls you angel all the time :((((

god that’s another weakness of mine ??? IM SUCH A WUSS

but it has specifically changed to “my angel”

uwu

your first kiss and first Real Confession happens on the Worst Day Of Your Life

you’re about to go on stage (you’ve released an album since your debut so this is new stuff) when you get a call from your mom ??

she’s crying and tells you your grandma is sick and in the hospital and it’s really bad

immediately you’re barely holding yourself together because that woman half raised you and was the reason you stayed in dance and worked so hard to become who you are today

there are tears streaming down your face already and the makeup team is fluttering around you trying to fix what you’re messing up and it’s bad

you still have to go on though so you go and perform with tears in your eyes and your manager yells at you after for not pulling it together

you go home in tears and then you’re not looking where you’re going and ran straight into a staff who yells at you some more for being some entitled idol brat

originally you weren’t gonna say anything to lucas but, the staff pushed you over the edge and you call him in tears and are incoherent and can barely tell him where you are before you hang up

our boy BURSTS into your room and sees you sitting on the floor with your face buried in your knees and 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 !!

he gathers you in his arms and sits on the bed with you curled up on his lap

he holds you close and rubs a comforting hand up and down your back at the same time as he frantically tries to figure out what’s wrong

“y/n?? baby what’s wrong? angel, please you gotta tell me or i cant help”

“i jjJJUST Got a cALL and my grandMA IS SICK AND THEN I DI D BAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE AND My mManageR yeYELLED at me and theN I RAN iNtO a staffF meMbEr and he yELled at me too and I JSUT .$:&:&;& i’m sO SORRY u doNT need to deAL WIYH ME you have problems of YouR own and-“

“shhh listen to me i always care about you okay? angel, i want to help you no matter what you know that. also, if you weren’t so distraught i would go beat some SM ass you didn’t deserve to be yelled at :(((( how about we call your mom and check for updates with your grandma and i’ll stay here with you for the night?”

you nod and then reach for your phone while keeping as much physical contact with lucas as possible

he’s the only reason you haven’t reached the Depression Point Of No Return so

we stayin close

you put your mom on speaker and set your phone down before squishing yourself back into his chest and sniffling while the phone rings

your mom answers and you shakily ask for any updates and she tells you not much but your grandma has improved and they think that within a couple weeks she’ll be better

you cry some more and tell her you love them both and you’re so relieved and lucas kisses the crown of your head and is just There For Comforting

once you hang up and you’ve calmed down a little more you back up a little and turn to face him

“hey thank you so much, you didn’t have to come and help me so much but you’ve always been there to make me stop Freaking Out and laugh and i just, love you. yeah that’s what it is. I LOVE YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, WONG YUKHE-“

he cuts you off by snatching your face in his big warm hands and kissing you right on the lips

he then kisses your nose and your forehead and pulls you back into his lap to tuck you under his chin

“it’s all for you, angel ;)))) i love you more”

#me: a connoisseur of shitty endings #uwu im so soft someone call me their angel right now immediately #lucas #wong lucas #wong yukhei #wong xuxi #nct #nct u #nct 2018 #nct scenarios #nct scenario #nct fluff #nct u scenarios #nct u fluff #nct 2018 scenarios #yukhei scenarios #yukhei fluff #Lucas scenarios #Lucas fluff

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lenin-it-to-win-it · 6 years

Text

the lorax, but everytime a character appears its bnha and every time u read it u want 2 die

summary: oh you know damn well whats coming, sweetie

notes: its 2:35 am. i spent over an hour writing this. pls clap.

*****************************************************************************************************

it was a suny day in thneedville and the sun was shining but it was COLD and DARk in dekus hart as he gazed sadly off intot he distance. “mommm wy doesnt todoroki senpai-san NOTICE me???”” he lameneted to his mom.

“maybe its ur ugly little pissbaby child face” inko suggested as she cooked up a spaghety for brekfast.

“how can i impress him??” deku questioned

“try lifting, cucklord” said his grandma recovery girl as she casually bench bressed 600 pounds of rocks.

“how bout i find him a plant insted?” deku sugested thinking about the tre todoroki painted on his house. he had asked todoorki if he liked trees and he sed ‘ya sur i gues’. “bitches lov plants”

“yeeee i kno wat u mean giv him some *lettuce*” recovery gorl winked

“wat a bout a tree” “but TREEs are DEAD” inko exlciamed! she threw the spagheti on the floor for dramtic effect and cltuched dekus head in his hands. “Son do not SPEAK of such things or The All For One’HAre Corporation Copyright TM wil BUST thru the ROOF and kill you! Now sit down and eat ur capitalism! Consumerism is god hallejeuluah amen!”

“tree” deku whisperd

the hose exploded and every1 died but they were okey. avaracious all-for-one’hare, a tiny liitle with a shiny bowlcut and tiny little man feet bitchslaped deku across the face. “NO TREES ALLOUD!!1!” he shrieked. he bloo a kiss ot dekus mom “that plate of capitalism u have is cooking upped looks lovly mam”

inko blsuhed. “thanks”

“just make sure to keep the kiddo here away from any” all-for-one’hare, lowered his voice, which was hard bc he was already so short and low and close tothe flor. “trees”

inko gASPed! “of CORSE! i wil keep him away from the place where the trees once were by the Forbindden WAll u buildt with ur money to keep out the Bad COmmunist SentimentsTM”

recovery girl made shifty suspicious looks on her face “sure yea me too”

all-for-one’hare, was convinced. “I AM CONVINECED” he sed “by felicia!” he hopped on his hoverbord and hoverborded away.

inko cleaned the spaghety off the flor and recovery girl pulled deku by the leg into the backyard. “YO FUCKER U BETTER RUN UR ASS OVER THE COMMIE WALL AND GET A TREE SO U CAN START SLINGIN SOME MAD PUSS”

“but gramma im gay”

“then start slingin some nuts my d00d the POINT is get a TRE e” she scremed. “when i was, a yung boi, my ffather, took me over the wall, to see a bunch of trees, he sed son when, u grow up, dont kill them , the trees, and bring the nonbelievers, to come and plant new trees”

“k”

she siezed dekus sholders “GO FORTH CHILD BRING THE TREES SO WE CAN MAKE THEM GROW ANEW AS THE PROPHECY HAS FORETOLD, OUT BEYOND THE WALL LIVES A MYSTERIOUS MAN CALLED THE ONCE-FOR-ALLER, FIND HIM, HE WILL TELL YOU HIS TRAGIC TALE OF TREE AND BRING NEW LIFE TO THIS BARREN CAPITALIST HELLSCAPE, NOW GO”

“k” deku hopped on his totaly radicel scooter headed 2 the wall. a robot cat watched him forehsadowingly.

it was hella empty over the commie cuck wall with not even a bORger king in site!!!1! tree stumps covered the flor and clouds of smonk from a thousand vape pens darkened the sky. a ded bird lay deadly on the ground while its bird children cried over its bird corpse. it was sad. deku took a sad face selfie with the ded bird then did a sick ollie over the corpse and headed toward the mysterious shack in the distants.

the shack had a bucket in front of the dor labeled “piss”. deku hopped on in the piss bucket “YO ONCE-FOR-ALLER U GOT KIK??” he cried. wind wistled past his ears and he coffed from the vape smoke but then the pis buckt got pulled up on a ROPE and deku found himself hOISted up to a wINdOW!!!! he stareed face to face at a pair of black eyes with blue spots in the middle like limpid tears and some long bony arms with glvovs and yaoi hands reached out to slap him.

“WHAT” he yelled “ARE YOU DOOING” he leaned closer “IN MY SWWAAAAAAMP!????”

deku wet his pants and criied. “i sutjj,,, i jstu wann, t a t;rree,,” he said sobbily. “i,m tr yiyng to get s enpai , t o noticnse me,, an ,n and i thgout,, i fi got, hima t,r,ree, he wo uld liek me”

“fucken millenials” snarled the once for aller “its always senpai this, thrussy that, my neck my back, my snapping-chat, wy wold i giv u a tre??”

“b-because i,, i brought u a SPAGHETTY” deku exxclaimed, pulling pounds of spagheetyi out of his pockets

the once for aller slorped up the spaghetti hongrily “ya ok i gues i can tel u my storey now. its a dark and trageic tale of capitalism, like the star wors preqols” a tear ran down his bony old cheek. “but insted of jar jar binks thers only me, booboo the fool”

there was a crossdissolve and suddenly they were in the once-for allers past where he was a big bara man with bara tiddies and twinky skinny geans no where near the size needed to accomodate for his phat dong. he rode along in a cariege puled by a single muel

“FASTER AIZAWA KUN” cried the once-for-aller hapily. “those proletariats arent gonna exploit themselves!”

aizawa the mule grunted sexily and plowed on, workin that tight little mule ass.

the once-for-aller started shredding out a sick nasty solo on an elextric guitar and it was RAD AS HELL as he blasted out the opening cords to jake pol’s magmnum opiss “its everyday bro”. “we gotta dab on those haters aizawa kun” said the once-for aller with a very gay wink

aizawa the mule grunted in annoyance. he could not dab, for his sexy mule bodey had no arms.

they fond a metric shitload of trees and there were like wildlifes and shit running around. bears (like endeovor) froclikced int he woods with their hairy bara nippels exposed 2 the world, tsuyu and her frog pals swam in the woter, and tokoyami the borb boy floo in the sky wich was pure and clean without a single trace of vape smoke. the tres looked fuckable so the once for aller busted a nut against one trunk then wipped out a glock and started shootin them down “YEHAW fuCKERS iTS HIGH NOON” he screamed in texan, his native language, as he mowed downt he trees the way present mics sexy voice mows down the pussey.

sudenly DANY DEVITO IN A FURSOOT APEARED. he was tiny and magestic and orange and so fucken valid. also he was grand toledo. “CUNT” he yelled kicking the once for aller in th e kneecaps. “THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT!!!!1! YOU CANT JUST START WEED WACKIN THES TREES WITH YOUR YANKEE DONGLE DANDY AND SHOOTING THEM WITH GUNS!1! THAT IS BAD AND WRONG! CAPTIN PLANET DIED FOR OUR SINS”

the once for aller looked down at the tiny orange man then down at his own big bulgin bara tiddes “i cold crush u 2 deth with my tiddys, maybe u shuld stay out of my way dude’

dany deveto gasped angrely. “how DARE!!1!” he screamed, punching the once-for-allers big toe. “BUDDY I WILL PERSONALLY FUCK YOUR GRAVE WITH MY OWN TWO ASSCHEEKS IF YOU SAY ONE MORE FUCKING WORD, I DEFY U TO TALK SHIT, COME AT ME SCRUBLORD IM RIPT”

“try me gardfielf” the once for aller laffed “iv ben drinkign plenty of nut milk so my boneses are helthy and Stronk”

daney devito pulled out his 20 inch thunderdong and beat the once for aller in the head with it until he was past oout on the ground. the woodland crreatures danced hapily around the bodey but then he woke up

“u kno wat” he moaned “mabye capitalism isnt so good, lets al liv together in communism and friendship, and i wont cut and/or fucc any of the trees”

danny deveto was mostly appeased. “ya ok, but if u try anymore fuckin shit ill go back in time and cuck ur grandparents.”

dannneie dievoto tried to hav the once-for aller killed on at least 10 separate occasions and the once for aller did slip in some clandestine tree fuckage now and agein, but other than that the communism and friendship was good. but everything changed went he fire nation atteacked, they defeeted endevor esily but then the once for allers slutty, sluty family showed up to REEK HAVICK :0 !!!1!

the once for allers ugley mom, sir nighteye, stepped out of their cheap car and did the anime glasses thing “toshi u commie thot” he said with distaste “stop being poor”

“but MOM” the once for aller wined “i HAV to be por! its good for the envorionemnt and my new animal frends and if i dont dany devito will beat me over the head with his massive meaty man-canoe!”

“dont b lil bitch, do a capitalism.”

the once for allers loud cosin hizashy jumped out of the wagon. “YAINT” he shrieked at 1000000 decibels, killing 90% of life on erth. “ARE WE GON FUCK SOME TREES OR WHAT”

the once for aller looked at his disproving mom, then at his loud cosin, then at the very fuckable trees. his eyes lingered on a sexy sap hole. “yea we are” he said, pulling out his gitar sexily. “how bad could it posbiley be??”

the answer was prety fucken bad as it turned out. a metric fuckton of people paid to watch the once for aller and his family fuck trees to deth by throwing moneey at them like they were stripers, but then al the tres were fucked ded!!11! the bears starved into ity bity twinks, unable to maintain the THicc, tsuyu and the frogs choked and coffed up water ful of human piss as they peed in the water while laughing in delite at the once for allers antics, and tokoyami and the birbs coffed out their organs from the clouds of vape smoke filing the sky.

soon ther was no one left. the once for allers familey left with al the money, aizawa the fuckable mule was ded, and it was just the once for aller allone in the rouns of his former capitalistc glory with only the bright yellow banana suit on his back to remind him of those days.

dani devioto looked at the once for aller with sad eyes before kciking his own ass so hard he got sent rocketing thru the stratusphere, leaving behind an imapct crater with a single word

“cunt” deku whispered softly in the present as he gazed into the crator.

the once for aller sighed sadley. “iv wondered for years and yeers wat he ment by that, but i think i understand now. unless some1 like u stops being a cunt, then nothign is gona get better, u nut”

“shit fam thats deeep” sed deku

the once for aller looked at dekus pissbaby child face. “i lost evrything to capitalism, my friends, nature, my family” teers rolled down his cheks “i even sold my organs to buy cocane and strippers so now i hav a total of 2 orgens in my hole bodey.”

“kinky”

“but we can change that!” cried the once for aller passionetely. “i am going 2 giv u a tree to plant in thneedvil so communism can return and bring back the life stole from this world with my big stick diplomacy. go now, young midorieya-shonen my boy, GO FORTH IN THE NAME OF COMMUNISM AND UN-CUNT THIS MISEREBLE WORLD!!1!”

ther was an epic radicel chase seen wher deku had to fite the The All For One’HAre Corporation Copyright TM and his grandma recovery girl did sik triks on her moped and deku almost but not quite got to kis todorki senpai but they made it to the town square.

deku held todorokis hands and tenderly put the baby tre in it “here” he sed “take my seed”

todoroky noded solemly. “i hav never wanted anything more than to be given ur seed midoreya” he was about 2 plant the seed in the ground when all for one’hare appered! “NOT SO FAST FUCKHOLES” he yelled capitalistically. “this TRee is COMMuNISM!!1!” he cried to the townspeople. “do u RELLY want to be FILTHY COMMIES???”

“Commies hate micdonaleds!!1” screamed one impassoned townsperson.

“LETS BOIL THEM IN OIL” some one else agred.

“but guys wait!!!” deku cried “dont u want like, nature n shit?”

“CAPITALISTS WANT TO REPLACE EVERY REMOTELY FUCKABLE PERSON WITH A TREE” all for one’hare screamed

teh twonspoeple gasps, thens tarted chanting for deku todo and grandma to get boiled in oil

deku sweated nervosly “um but,, treees,, r good?”

“OIL OIL OIL”

“BACK IN MY DAY WE FUCKED TREES AND WE LIKED IT” recovery girl rored!

that was acomeplling argument. the boil in ooil chanting slowed

all for one turned to his henchperson stain “STAIN” he yelled “TEL THESE HIPPY DIPPY COMMIE TREE FUCKERS WHAT WE REALLY THINK OF THIS CAPTEN PLANET B-ROLL BULLSHIT”

stain cleered his throt and burst into magnificent song “let it gro let it gro, so we can have trees to bone” he sang. he was The Ultimate ChadTM so every1 agreed with him imediately. they throow all for one’hare into a pit of spiders where eh was eten and killed and planted the seed in the fertile butthole of the earth wher it could blosom and gro.

in the folowing yeers trees started groiwng beyond the wals and the once for aller crawled out of his shame sahck to water them with his nut as an act of penanc.e

slowly, magesticsally, danny devito in a fursewt flew down from the sky. “ya done good cunt” he grunted, tenderly slapping the once for allers boney ass with his furry orange old man boner. “ya done good.”

they both floated up to gay heaven by their ass skins wher the once for allers big bara past self greeted them with open arms. “all of ur trubles are ogre” he whispered tenderly in their tidditlyated ears.

the once for aller caressed his past self “oh oncey” he whispered sweetly “are u shure we should do this?? can u even,,, oh, how can u love me in this broken down form??”

past once for aller smiled and did the kabedon thing with his future self who whimpered arousedly and blushed carnelian. “its not who we are on the outside” he shoved his entire arm up his entire ass“its who we are inside”

danney devito cheered the once for allers on as they fucked together for all of eterneity and it was very communiest teh end

#bnha #all might #deku #lorax au #selfcest #i managed to work it in #at the very end #i Had TO

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mattelodchikova · 7 years

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Hey Rach! 🌸 Can you explain about Sharon Needles being racist and anti-Semitic, thank you love u 💕

Hi there! I heard that Sharon had done some racist/anti Semitic things in the past and I was wondering if you could tell me where I can find info about it?

hey!! (just got 2 mssgs abt this so i thot id kill 2 birds w one stone lol) buckle up bc this is prob gonna b a long one lmao

-sharon has repeatedly and unapologetically done blackface (heres a twtr thread w a pic and her “”excuse””)

-she also tells this story abt being confronted abt her racism and not only manages to still be unapologetically racist AND claim that we need 2 stop picking on sharon and start focusing on the “’’’’real’’’’ racists (which,,,,,what ?) AND be cissexist by saying this abt the person who confronted her:

“there’s this young thing. I call her a “thing” because, you know, I don’t know how to tip-toe around gender rules or queer politics. I’m 30 years old, rich, and famous; I don’t have to deal with that shit anymore, you know what I mean? So we’ll just call them “him”/“her”/“thing,” whatever.”

(she also stated that we’re living in a “post-racial” world which is both wrong and ignorant so wow sharon u killed like 5 birds w one stone u go girl!!!)

-she also made a hitler joke in AUSTRIA a place where idk if u kno but like,,,umm,, the holocaust happened and when called out she said:

“I will always use off-putting humour in my work. What Life Ball did was try to censor me from the media, cut me out of the show, and make it seem like I wasn’t there, which is media manipulation and creating propaganda.”

which is a str8 up non apology and utterly ridiculous that she sees no problem glorifying (even however “””jokingly””” she meant it) a man who used media manipulation and propaganda in order 2 ,,,y’know....,,,kill 6million jews.....

-on that topic shes worn a shirt w a large swastika on it(not the only time, jst the only pic i could find but ppl have mentioned her wearing them at her shows), which made me so uncomfortable as a jew i legitimately can barely look at it, has joked about dressing as hitler, and has worn a confederate flag bathing suit

-she relies on comedy that she calls “”controversial”” which is really just racism. in response to backlash on using the n word on stage AND giving a black fan a signed picture that said “i love you (n word)”, sharon said that its okay to use slurs bc she was also called (completely different) slurs whch makes,,,,, zero sense?? heres an article that has her whole quote &the full story

-even after all the backlash she STILL uses slurs unapologetically, on thurs in a (now deleted) twt, she used the t slur, and still relies on racist comedy (literally just look up any of her shows)

-AND even if she wasnt racist, shes an insanely big dick to fans. shes put out her cigarettes on them (couldnt find the vid bc rip vine), spit on them, and blended their tips with vodka and drank it right in front of their faces just to name a few,,,

TL;DR- sharon needles is a piece of trash

#hope this made sense!!#i think this covers it lmao i hope i didnt forget anything some1 lmk if i did #im making a tag 4 this so i can link ppl 2 it when they inevitably ask me again lmao #sharon discourse #discourse #Anonymous

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yohansbuns · 5 years

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My LONG THOTS on X1′s line up no one asked for, i just have to let it all out

First, the top 20 for me is probably the most loved out of all the PD series. Can’t remember exactly with S2, but on this season, it really felt like they were all genuinely rooting for each other.

My Original Line Up Picks:

Yohan, Wooseok, Seungwoo, Yuvin, Eunsang, Donghyun(did y’all see that tweet of his answers to his “fans” 2 years ago, jfc this kid and his fan service!),Yunseong ( could’ve been a main dancer!) Hangyul, Seungyoun, Jinhyuk, Dohyon

I thought it’s gonna be like an alpha male team sksksksks so I obviously didn’t think the cuties would get picked.

The Final Line U:

Yohan - my boi! The nation’s center! Yohan is my favorite right from the audition part. His heelys made me sign up. He’s an all-around guy, he’s got potential in rapping, singing and dancing. He’s got that social butterfly personality too. I get that he’s not THE BEST in the talent aspect YET, dood trained only for three months. So I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt now, but I know he’s got full potential to be one of the best.

Wooseok - I didn’t really know anything about Wooseok so I thought he was like how he seemed to be in PDX101 but oooof after looking him up, I saw some stuff about him and that’s probably why he seemed to close himself off from other people. Plus MNET’s evil editing. They really made him look so serious all the time! I’ve got nothing bad to say about him, he’s got that small face, cute guy look! His speaking voice is so alluring too, he’s also a great vocalist and a decent dancer. I wasn’t surprised that MNET didn’t give him the first seat. Wooseok’s elegant features makes him look like a snob sometimes, and I guess if they’re gonna make another Daniel, then Yohan seemed more fit to the role, isn’t he? (But that’s just me.) Also, his fan service is no joke!

Seungwoo - Y’all what can I say. Sexy. Elegant. He’s got the vocals. Can rap. Can dance. Good physique. Super great personality. A softie and A hottie at the same time. I’m glad he’s the leader, he looks like he’s mature enough to handle the youngsiez. I also didn’t have a background on him but not surprised he’s in this line up. He’s one of the strongest vocalists in the TOP 20.

Hyeongjun - A cutie. I kinda got irked with him when he cried like a baby during an evaluation. Thought it was fake. But that seemed to be just him, he’s a lil cri babie. I thought Dongpyo’s goin to be that character but it actually fits Hyeongjun more. He’s growing on me. Give him a chance, y’all. Can’t deny his cuteness, he’s really softspoken. Surprised that he got into the line up coz I didn’t know he was that popular. I guess MNET was trying to balance the alpha males with a few cuties. He looks like a lil puppie with his perm hair! I can;t remember his performances, didn’t strike me that much, but I know he can dance, they’re pushing him for rapping, haven’t seen so much from him but I guess he fits more in that area. Maybe sub vocals will do too?

Eunsang - Man,,,, I don’t get why some people aren’t enchanted by Eunsang tho. Love that he’s gentle and Priki at the same time. Most popular meme in this season is Priki. I like him a lot. He looks well-behaved. He’s got the charisma, he can be sexy or cute. I also like that he’s non-stop volunteering for positions during the program. Also, nice vocals. Very sweet! His lines in To My World made me meltttt! I knew MNET was pushing him coz he got a decent screen time. He can dance, very expressive on stage!

Minhee - OOOf, a big surprise. Or maybe it’s just me? I didn’t think he will make it honestly. Minhee’s just like the average during the program. He’s not someone I would remember but I guess it’s in the last episode, where the trainees said Minhee gives off refreshing vibes whenever he’s on stage and I think that’s the most accurate description of him!! That’s the best word to describe him! Can;t pinpoint why but his visuals and voice is very refreshing. HIs freckles too!!!! I’ve only seen him perform in cute stages so I guess he’s also one of the cuties to balance the alphas.

Hangyul - Now here’s an opposite of MInhee sksksksks Minhee’s refreshing, Hangyul looks very manly when he’s on stage. He looks manly even off stage actually sksksks Another surprising member in the line up. MNET made him look like he’s always just on the background so I didn’t think he’d get enough attention from the viewers. Love his voice, very unique, he has his own vibe. He got the moves too!

Seung yeon - Seungyeon is probably like the Jisung or Woojin. Love his energy, he’s gonna be the mood maker of the group, isn’t he? Another one who can do it all! Rapper, vocalist and a decent dancer. Bonus, funny personality!

Dongpyo - at first I thought they’re just pushing Dongpyo coz of that Center tradition. BUt this kid reminds me of Daehwi. he’s got that sassy cutie personality. I like that Hyeongjun;s cuteness and Dongpyo’s cuteness aren’t clashing. Hyeongjun is the softie cutie while Dongpyo is the sassy cutie. In terms of talent, again, didn’t strike me that much at first. Like Hyeongjun, I think Dongpyo’s also navigating into what role they’re gonna play in the group. But I think Dongpyo’s def gonna be a subvocal and Hyeongjun’s more into sub rapper role.

Dohyon - Even though he’s the youngest I like that he’s got the steady rapper spot already. He’s a good rapper, he’s got them bars sksksks Also another cutie but like Eunsang, he knows how to navigate. He’s got an aura of seriousness but can be cute too. Very quirky and hyper! I watched some of his fancams and I know he’s an okay dancer, he’s not stiff and I guess him being a rapper, he can easily follow the beat and count.

Junho - I guess he blew up coz he resembles Infinite’s L, his singing voice is okay I don’t know why I thought he’s got a monotone voice, or maybe that’s just the way he looks. Maybe people say he looks like a robot coz he doesn’t have that many facial expressions. He’s got potential in singing and I’m just glad he’s not a stiff dancer!

Overall what I like about this line up is that they have lots of potential. I agree when some people say this line up has no hole! Literally each one of them is skilled already, they just need to find their identities and roles in the group.

I also like that no one is a bad dancer, no one looks weird when they’re danicing as a group. I think that’s one of my main concerns regarding new boy groups or groups from auditions. Coz it shows if you’re a bad dancer. Singing is easier to remedy for idols. They could just be subvocals or maybe subrapper. ALTHOUGH I think not having a bad dancer is one of the good side, it’s also a weakness coz I don’t think they have THAT One good dancer. Right? I mean, Hangyul, yes. Yohan has power. But u kno in variety shows when hosts ask idols to do a freestyle dance or smth,,,,, Well, I take it back, I guess it’s not a weakness YET, I’m gonna wait for their performances before I judge that but I do think that no one’s gonna get criticized in terms of dancing coz they all can dance. Which is a positive.

Personalities: Luv it. You’ve got crackheads, you’ve got someone to calm them down, you’ve got the cuties and the in-betweens. I like their personality personally. We just haven’t seen stuff from them yet but we all know it’ll be fun if they have something similar to Wanna One Base Zero.

11/11 would stan 100%. Still not sure if they can top Season 2 tho coz we all know this season obviously got more hate but whatevz haterz, stan talent!

#x1 #producex101 #produce x 101 #kim yohan #kim wooseok #han seungwoo #kang minhee #cha junho #nam dohyon #lee hangyul #son dongpyo #cho seungyoun #lee eunsang #song hyeongjun

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boyshoujo · 7 years

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u don't even know me but u already kno me and my personality?? wow u must be a sorcerer.................. but im indeed problematic, and ummm i don't like filet o fish??? i hate her but we go to mcdonald's almost everyday and im forced to eat something so it's the only choice i have........ the meat and chicken at mcdonald's tastes like plastic but that damn fish tastes REAL!!! she isn't fake..............

yea Whatever….. a few days ago u told me that “filet of fish gives [you] emotional support” ???? but when i out u suddenly u hate her??? what’s the truth :/

what’s wrong with hadaka shitsuji???? its a funny game!!! don’t u like the main character tomoaki?? he’s the only good main character ive ever seen in my life and he’s a sadistic bitch??? i love sadistic binches cuz they are like me!!! i felt like “i” was in the game when i saw him, he killed everybody and i was proud of this ugly fuck cuz thats what i would do if i was in this game,,,,,,,,,, i would do more fucked up things than him but anyway, i don’t like fedoras!!!!! i just like that dude-

LFSJLKFSJKSF bceuacuse IT’s A BAD GAME!!!!!!!! ITS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually you remind me of tomoaki???? a lot???? gotta add that to ur callout list……………

-cuz he’s funny and btw he’s the one wearing a purple jacket and his name is hashizuka and that fake loser who is a cheap version of sergei is called junichi :/ and tbh i send u furry asks cuz ur the only one who accepts me for who i really am,,,,,,,,, like i sent some arcana blogs some asks about fucking a fictional goose and a donut kink and they just said “what the fuck” and ehh they’re so serious?? like chill its just a joke jfc sharon :/ i go to their pathetic edgy blogs and this is how they treat me???? i just wanted to cheer ur edgy ass up sharon don’t act like ur 70 dammit just accept a joke lol

LFKSKFSJK bicht i’m literally 0.00039 seconds into the game u rec’d and???? /?? ??? literally ALL of the guys r pathetic???? they go to a school called Charming Cherries lFKJLF AAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS does this mean the principal guy is a Veteran Cherry…………………..binch…. that’s Why he wears a fedora………………………………..i accidentally picked the annoying know-it-all guy so i’ll go for him first and then mayb try the ceo guy……dONUT KINK,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , > >>>???/ ??/ ?? ??? ?? no offense but i’d be like ???????????? GET OUTTA MY INBOX???????? HOW DARE U COME IN AND DISRESPECT MY BRAND LIKE THIS??? ?? ?? ?? ? ………….anyways i wanna hear about the donut kink LOLIKR!!!!!!! ! ! i hate people who r too serious………………………i mean…. im actually p serious Tbh but some people on this website can’t take jokes????? i saw a shitpost where this person was like “some of yall need 2 get mugged lol” and people were like “why do u want people to suffer so bad??? SHOULD I JUST DIE THEN!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!!!!” and im like …………… wtf chill Ashley lmao………

i feel like if i ever met u we would be the best friends ever?? actually i would be the one who’s crying cuz we both have the same taste?? ik a lot of characters like segrei and vincent so if u want me to tell u their names im gonna say it in another ask, and i like how u don’t judge me unlike all of my new friends ;^( i had a friend in middle school in 7 grade and i told her a lot of weird shit and she didn’t judge me??? she was a true friend indeed……………….

give me more sergei characters 👏👏👏👏 also DW im deFINITELY JUDGING YOU LMAO but im amused and laughing at the same time?? sometimes u send me asks and im like ???? ????? ? ?? ?? ?? ? ? ????????wtf lmao ? ??? ?

im sure if we talked more ur gonna find out that we’re literally friend-mates= 2 lonely binches who got the same taste in fictional character and idk but we would be the best bff’s ever tbh?? ur the friend who i have been searching for years?? everyone finds my thirst and my “weeaboo” ass (although im not a fuckin weeaboo im just thirsty for fictional characters!!) too weird and they always say “u can’t take ANYTHING seriously!!” like?? im 5???? why should i take anything seriously?? im not 70??

gfgfg bicth? i don’t even know anything about you, how can we be friends!!!!! WHO ARE YOU!! ! !! ! we should make a Lonely Bitch club but the requirements to enter are: do u play otome? would u body slam lucio into the pavement??? would u fuck the goth fish from finding nemo?? r u a thirsty ho????

i thought u would say “she’s a thot lol” and u would agree with me that she’s a thot??? if we didn’t know each other im trying to know her??? im trying to be friends with her????? how am i going to be friends with her if i didn’t talk to her?? fuck that shitty book??? im more important???? im sure she can read that damn book at her home and not in school!!!!!!! she should study like the rest of us………. and she shouldn’t study HER book!!!!!!!!!!!!

JKSJLSJKSJF i just realized, all of my friendships w/ virgos happened bc they woULDNT STOP TALKING/BOTHERING ME LOL this is why i love virgos…………. ur like stray cats that just never stop meowing until u let them in……maybe u should bother her more FKLSJFKJFS and she’ll finally crack

if i ever tried to read a book it should have pictures in it cuz i don’t want to imagine all that shit by myself!!!!!!! just add a fucking picture jfc…………….. i was exactly like that when i was a kid and im still the same??? i haven’t changed much tbh and im glad???? im glad i still have that silly trait of mine lol

no offense but READ?????????? imagining things is fun??????????????? books r so much fun????????? wtf???rn im reading a book about some ugly french guy from the 18th century with a Superhuman sense of smell who kills girls to make The Ultimate Perfume or whatever?? im barely like 50 pages in, but he killed his first girl?? and literally shoved his nose up her ass?? it was wild?????? books r wild??????

we’re going to study about christopher columbus this year and his ugly face is in my book???? like bitch why u gotta curse my book with ur disgusting face???? im going to roast this bitch when we get to his part in the book and everyone is going to ask me: “binch y are u angry???” and im like “why don’t u do some fuckin research sharon abt this ugly fuck and then ur going to understand why im angry” like get out of my book u lil bitch!!!!!!! that dam book is cursed now!!!!!!!

👏👏👏 END HIm

I LIKE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER TOO!!!!! im just kidding but what’s ur favorite season???? mine is winter cuz uhhhh its winter???? everyone who hates winter is canceled??? lucio loves summer and is canceled????

fall-winter???? bc halloween…….. and american thanksgiving is fucked up bc it essentially celebrates the genocide of native americans but tbh……..i love turkey…… (we eat roast turkey and mashed potatoes n pumpkin pie n stuff for thanksgiving)also i just love it when the weather gets colder??? i get to dress up??? and be fashionable??? when it’s hot, all i wear are t shirts and shorts which is Boring it doesn’t snow where i live though lmao and it’s typically warm year-round where i live :/ winter is the only time i get to pull out all my cute sweaters and jackets but some winters only get cold for 2 weeks lmao :—–/

so you’re american right???? which means u have halloween rn??? or does it start on 31 if im not mistaken???? sadly we don’t have halloween here……………………………………………. they consider it “an event where people worship satan” here lmao

halloween is only one day (31st) SKJKSJ

i think its hot if batman would ever judge me

KSJKFSJFKLJFSK i;m gonna frame this ask Bye

#arcana anon #Anonymous

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