#I love them but fuck their lore is too damn complicated and I’m the fucking creator

[this-aint-massachusetts]

Here’s a thing I’ve spent so much time on: My oc’s! (Seriously I’ve committed hours to these fucks) click on the alt text tab for their names and I may drop some of their lore soon simply because I have no where else to info dump so yeah :33 (ALSO THE DREAMTHEORY HANAHAKI FIC IS COMING SOON I PROMISE JS GIMMIE LIKE A WEEK :3)

#my ocs #oc #ocs #oc stuff #this isn’t my art #this is a picrew pls don’t come for me #my ocs <3 #my precious precious baby’s <33 #I love them but fuck their lore is too damn complicated and I’m the fucking creator

[heraldofcrow]

Oh I forgot but what about 11 for Sephiroth? 👀

Hhhhdfdgfghgdhj

*bars the door* *locks the window* *closes the curtains after nervously glancing around to make sure Katy isn’t nearby*

Buckle in, girl. This is….complicated. And long.

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

It all started in June. June of last year. It was a BAD time for me personally. Not even joking. I narrowly escaped death that month dghsj.

And then this happened when I was talking with Katy…WORST FUCKING TIMING. I can’t discover a new character when I’m in the depths of despair. I will just collapse into them and let the feels consume me.

I jokingly credit this convo as being the reason why I adopted this character, but in truth, I very much could have just chosen to ignore Sephiroth again for the millionth time like I had over the years. I could have just simped for those first two weeks and then moved on with my life, happy that I resisted the charms of yet another cool white-haired katana villain.

However, this time it was different because of my mental state, and also, I stumbled across Crisis Core. My interest went well beyond just “Oh this design is so cool and what a badass villain.”

You know me. I’m drawn to FEELS. I am drawn to tragedy, to drama. I was passionately writing all that Bloodborne angst at the time too, so my head was already in the right place.

Seph in Crisis Core was just…perfect.

I mean, let’s face it—he’s not THAT deep in Remake. He’s enigmatic and a troll for Cloud, sure. He’s playing 4D chess and has some fun lines, and the final boss battle with him definitely sent me spiraling into “Oh I love him,” but he didn’t tug at my heartstrings. I watched Advent Children too and felt the same way. I was enamored with all of his exterior details like everyone else.

He was crazy and deadly and fun to watch. His theme was incredible. Masamune was shiny. He had great hair. His voice was intimidating. He was powerful and stabby. His wing was beautiful. He could cut buildings in half and shit…

But the depth! I was looking for his deeper motivations, his real personality, etc., and it was so damn subtle that I was ready to give up. If a character doesn’t have layers, I either have to resign myself to only loving them a certain amount, or else I’ll write them into a more complex character myself. But I was sure Seph had to be deeper than that?? There was no way this Japanese video game villain that had been around since the 90s was only two-dimensional at best.

So, then I delved into OG and got some answers. I was definitely pulled in then, but also more confused. I felt like I was left to analyze Sephiroth like he was a Dark Souls NPC. I was given a lot of contextual clues about who he was, but no direct answers. The Nibelheim flashback was so brief that I didn’t even know how to define his pre-insanity personality.

I actually started to get desperate and went to YouTube lmao, but all the video essays felt so…surface level. I almost suspected the lore-nerds were as clueless as me. They were just guessing stuff.

And don’t get me wrong, I was already in love by this point, but I felt like I was teetering on the edge of fully embracing the character and hadn’t quite reached nirvana. I remember this was the point when I was trying to explain in our group chat how I tended to “psychoanalyze” characters that I was drawn to in order to crack open their minds and unravel the threads. I was doing this with Seph, but I kept hitting brick walls.

Then I played Crisis Core and…something clicked. That game has some really rough writing and pacing issues. The dialogue is also a struggle to take in sometimes, but I could forgive it. It had so much heart and emotion and humor. It had a good soul. It quickly became my favorite <3

And Sephiroth? In Crisis Core?

Dude, suddenly I understood him. No, he WASN’T always an edgelord villain. No, he wasn’t the classic brooding antihero. He wasn’t messy and sadistic and “foreboding” as if it was inevitable he would become the villain. He didn’t fit any of the tropes I was expecting.

Bro was lowkey wholesome af.

He was just…a person. Better yet, a not-normal person trying to be normal. He was really happy to just have friends and didn’t want them to get hurt. He goofed around with them like they were a bunch of fucking kids, sneaking into an off-limits training room just to sword fight lol.

He literally stops randomly in the game and starts telling this to Zack all cheerfully like “Me and my buddies used to do this thing…it was TOTALLY secret but it was fun :D” and shares the whole story about him with Gen and Angeal. The way he talked reminded me of a young person who had begun to experience the thrills of life for the first time.

It was the little details like this that got me. There are so many more that I could go on for days about. I was thinking…”Yo this guy is actually a dork (affectionate).”

That’s why I always joke that he is “the homeschooled goth,” because of how he dresses edgy but speaks innocently.

He wasn’t an arrogant snob about his strength either. He was more the depressed loner that took his work seriously, but also was conflicted. He somehow did his both his job and quietly committed treason to make sure his friends survived.

Then they fucking died and backstabbed him, which is something that I think we can relate to the misery of as humans. Losing people to death or relational conflict is hard enough for anyone, but watching it happen to a character who was…ultimately isolated from normal life and society, who was so “other” and separate that he didn’t even fit into the part of having a real family thanks to being an experiment created by a corrupt company was…difficult, to say the least. It was like watching someone be given some hope and then seeing it get ruthlessly crushed.

This was hard for me as a player too, because I had loved Genesis and Angeal right away. The whole trio seemed like a group of loveable dorks with really…funny quirks? They felt so distinct and characterized? But they all broke down horribly because of their origins and the complexes that came with them.

Then the Nibelheim sequence happened. All of the drama went down. Everything fell into place, and I had essentially, a) fallen in love with a character who was genuinely good despite horrible circumstances, and b) watched that character lose his mind and become painfully cruel. It really hurt.

I felt Zack’s pain as he lost a friend he trusted, I felt Cloud and Tifa’s pain as they lost their homes and families, and I still felt Sephiroth’s pain as he just boiled over with rage and took it out on the world. It felt like everyone was suffering so much, and that’s when Crisis Core became much darker and honestly, beautiful? A perfect tragedy.

That’s when Seph became my set-in-stone favorite. I remember being much younger and adoring Darth Vader/Anakin because of the grand tragedy of his downfall and the impact he left as the villain. Watching Seph, I kinda felt like that little kid again—in love with the villain’s story. Always in love with the angel both before and after the fall, because why not enjoy all of the emotions? Nothing hits me harder than “losing” a character to their darker egos, but I can also have fun watching them go wild and commit arson, yeah? Heh.

Seph also has the added complexity of how his mother plays into the story beyond just dying or being forgotten. “She” is very present and also not present. It’s such a strong complex that it even shapes his villainhood, which is perfect for my love of mother-son tragedy.

Anyway since Crisis Core, my infatuation has only gotten worse, ahaha…and now I see that I really only needed OG to understand this character, but I’m not ashamed to admit that CC gave me the boost I wanted.

The new games are still doing this too.

Ever Crisis: The First Soldier, which is a lil story about Seph’s first mission as a kid, made things SO much more agonizing fgdhjsk. The writers really just want you to cry, I swear. It’s hard enough when young Seph in the official artwork looks like THIS:

LIKE SQUARE ENIX WHAT THE FUCK. I FEEL BAD JUST LOOKING AT HIM. STOP.

I did also do way more research and uncover all the little tidbits I could gather to add to the full picture, and now Rebirth gave me yet another boost.

(I need to mention the first bit of fan-fiction I read about Seph too, which was basically a novel about his life written by the brilliant @altocat called “A Monster’s Threads.” It essentially fleshed out almost all of the lore we know about Seph and made it into a genius story. Alto’s writing is….literally some of the best I’ve seen and that fic ruined my life lol. I seriously don’t think I’ve ever cried that hard reading something. I have been Alto’s loyal devotee and buddy ever since lol. Good writing does that to me <3).

It was all of this that led me from being annoyed that I was interested in another silver katana lad to….

….whatever this was in our group chat when I was defending him from Katy on 9/11 apparently….

That’s love, baby!

(I may need therapy).

In conclusion, I can’t wait to continue letting this character affect my life way too much. Thanks for listening to my rant 💀

—

Favorite Character Asks

#fghsjkdg girl this was a LOADED question to ask lmaooo #but thank you #i appreciate it! #i hold back a lot on talking deeply about this bastard #ask game #sephiroth #ff7 #asks #mutuals

[domain-of-revelation]

Herrscher of Origin 2.0: The Purposeless of Mei’s Growth

Spoilers for 6.3 and 6.4. Talks of Anti-Elysium Everlasting & (anti) Elymei.

Well, here we are I guess. Welcome to the culmination of the disappointment and decline of the Honkai universe’s writing and execution.

Mei’s Growth Pre-Flamechaser - Was the most “grown” and self-sustaining in terms of maturity and power (because of HoT persona and their bond). However, she put restraints on herself, thereby making her weaker as time went by. She was unable to do anything because of the shackles she tied to herself. Eventually, this led to a break in her character (Lament of the Fallen) where she in turn sacrificed herself to save the light of her life. She became the concept she hated, and she full fucking sent that shit! That’s our girl! When it became too much, she had to make that decision, and she took it by the throat and made it her personality. It was even better because it made sense for her to finally, finally let go of her own conviction because the ends justified the means to her, for Kiana.

The Flamechaser Arc - Mei: *angry about girlfriend dying to terminal radiation and her sacrificing herself* Flamechasers: Okay but have you heard about our lord and savior Elysia? Elysia (EE version): 🌸 👼🏻 ✨ 🌈 “by the way, I’m god” - Elymei. Uhhhh-

Moon Arc - Can we all just agree that this arc so far has been a complete flop (besides Seele, because I’m biased)? Seriously. Why do I need to become a PhD in astrophysics and electromagnetism to understand this chapter. Why dump exposition sentence after sentence that amounts to nothing but “I know you are but what am I?” It takes so much momentum out of this chapter that I scratch my head and think, “maybe I should just wait for all the chapter to be done”. It feels so padded out with philosophical nonsense pushed into a package already ready to burst. All we (at least here on Tumblr) wanted to see we’re our trio back together and kick Kevin’s ass. We’re simple people, I think. We don’t need our brains melted out with these lectures to enjoy a good, compelling story.

- Also, thanks for the retcon of Bronya no longer being a child soldier/assassin. No reason for that, so thanks for making the lore even more complicated for no reason.

- A shoutout to the translation team making me want to work for them instead because why do they not do quality assurance anymore.

- Open World is getting old. My phone shrieks in binary every time I have to load in to that stupid fucking god damn dog shit ass moon map. :)

Herrscher of Origin 2.0 - I said in an earlier post that this is a rare battlesuit that I highly dislike. Where do I even begin with this development for Mei? While I do love that Mei is the new HoO, as HI3 started with her, that’s really the only thing I actively enjoy with this development.

- Anything else about the battlesuit? I dislike. The “heavenly” theme of her suit, the lighter colors, the emphasis on Elysia, I actually hate it.

- And I hate to say I hate it, but I do. Elysia is supposed to be ka-put, gone, her and her comrades stories are O V E R. Let them rest for once.

- It feels like they’re trying to override Mei with Elysia, and it just doesn’t work. This entire shift in her personality, especially with the leaks of Mei saying she basically does not care if Kiana sacrifices herself, goes against the entire reason for her growth in the first fucking place!

- Why does Mei now have flower themes when it was never entirely relevant to her character? Bronya has technology and “coldness”, with a focus on blues, whites, and grays. This continues in her HoTr battlesuit. Kiana has her outgoing, tempered liveliness and hope, symbolized by whites, oranges, and blacks. Her symbol being the stars and fire actively fits her suits in at least some capacity through all of them. This has been her theme up to Flamescion. Now why I’m sitting here wondering why the hell Mei got this “heavenly angel” looking schtick that makes no sense. Her themes were red, black, purple, and white. And of course, lightning. This about-face turn around of punting these themes into the stratosphere isn’t growth, it’s a complete erasure of her journey and efforts to become stronger. What’s with the light blues and golds? The pinks of her eyes? Why flowers. Again? Also, the parallel between HoO Mei and Raiden Ei… how similar their battlesuits are. 🫠 end me. Mihoyo stop introducing Genshin to Honkai pleASE.

- Mei isn’t Elysia and she never will be. I need everyone to read this again. And another time. Mei might be the inheritor of the title, but Mei will not and can never be Elysia. To make Mei seem closer to Elysia is to erase everything Mei is and has done. Removing Mei’s autonomy in exchange for an Elysia cameo is downright ridiculous. Why can’t her bond with Kiana and Bronya be the trigger? Why does it have to lie in people long gone? Why can’t it be love? Love for humanity was the inspiration for Elysia, so why can’t it be love for her friends (and girlfriend)? Why, why, why does it have to always be Elysia?

- Mei’s growth has and will always be focused around learning from others. From Kiana saving her life at the very beginning of HI3, to learning the beauty and importance of life and sacrificing it with the FCs, Mei is always the mirror of another’s actions. To make Mei this… almost lassiez-faire to Kiana sacrificing herself is actually infuriating. They just got back together after half a year apart, where their parting almost meant killing each other, to now Kiana waving sacrificial-offering flags like a Naval officer, and Mei suddenly not caring anymore?! Just because you grow doesn’t mean you suddenly don’t care about things anymore! The beauty and anguish from Lament of the Fallen is due to the circumstance that Mei had no other choice but to leave to find a way to help Kiana. If she had to be the bad guy, she would be. So where the fuck does this “yeah I might’ve just reunited with my girlfriend after she tried to shoulder everything by herself, but now I couldn’t care less what she does” attitude come from.

A Little Ending Blurb I’m just, I’m so tired. After the Everlasting Flames Arc, I feel that the writing team is just blasting us to the end of this saga and not caring unless it’s a cool animation or battle scene. As someone who has been playing since global launch in 2018, it is more than just disappointing to see the quality nosedive to the level it’s at now. It’s, in my opinion, heartbreaking (as cringey/cheesy as it might sound). I’ve loved this game with so much passion and intrigue, it’s become a large point in my life. “Protect all that is beautiful in this world.” It’s served as a way to reflect on myself and my growth, especially compared to the girls who all have their threads of relatability and genuineness. I cherish these characters. I’ve laughed and I’ve most certainly cried at the art Mihoyo has created in the past that ripped out my heartstrings and played them like a harp. Honkai has really, truly touched my heart. It’s not something that a lot of media is able to do, but this one has, and it’s magical. It’s beautiful in its anguish and its sacrifices. It’s maddening in the way that it crawls underneath your skin with how human these characters are. But I hate how much it seems like this past year, that feeling has been pushed behind a curtain. Nothing seems earned or deserved or meaningful. Characters just do because they do, particularly in Mei’s case. She’s constantly ham-fisting her recollections of the Flamechasers, telling her memories to characters who’ve never heard, let alone cared, of simulations of a bygone era. Everyone’s just like, “Oh? Yeah? Mhm, sure.” And move about their next dialogue. There’s no real significance to her exposition, there’s no drive to explain what’s been happening on her end. And it sucks to see.

Sorry I’m ending it like this, but I’m frustrated. I’ll try and make another addition to this in a more eloquent way, but I just needed to get these thoughts out there.

#honkai impact #hi3 #honkai impact 3rd #Raiden Mei #Elysia #Elysia hate #Honkai spoilers

[ruelin024]

I wanna have opinions so uh, what do you think of my SacredFell AU? (So far anyway haha)

Hello, my mutual compadre, @littleyukki5033 , I have traveled down to the depths of your blog and will now commence judgment.

Kehehehe. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[Gonna be long, I like/wanted to try making my responses worthwhile and attentive, to show you I went in on your AU and posts.]

(And you can laugh at me or with me on this, but I may not be the best at giving opinions, 😖 I think. Just know I'm typing this with my miniscule overthinkin’ brain and hurt wrist.)

START!

Feb 4: Don’t be afraid to post your AU and talk about it, beautiful or not, unique or not, complicated or not, similar or not, cringe or not, demented or not, eh or not. 

Share your mind, you’ll find people who share it with you. And if you get hate, show them San’s ass or something. It tells others how nonexistent they are to you. (though I’ve seen someone draw Sans very beautifully thicc, we will keep in mind he is bones, which we indeed simp for). 

Observe Exhibit A:

(I found this silly image saved on my desktop, so I thought it'd be cool to share it with you.)

So never let a negative comment change your love and view of your au and undertale. 

Undertale is amazing, it’s good to ramble, even if others don’t talk about it, even if you’ll never get reciprocated. There’s other people there reading it, like me sometimes I read and forget to heart, or I don’t heart a post because I don’t wanna bombard their notifications and all that. 

Yes, post your art, even if you’ve got no idea what to post, doodle, ask for ideas, or even take a break. I think it’s beautiful to share your mind’s eye. Show no fear, you’ve got this!

Everyone starts where you were once. 

Feb 12: Your Introduction of your own Underfell AU called SacredFell

I am interested. I am in fact one of many who are and will be interested for days to come, for as long as you build and love your AU, as it becomes whatever completion you dreamt of it to be, so on and so forth, even if one day you stop.

I’m finna be there bruh, late or on time.  

And imma let you know that right now as you reading this. You actually asked me first about your AU and lemme tell you, you beat me to it. I actually have fanart for you. AND was gonna find a time to ask you first.

(~(>_<。)＼ Usually I'm ready to send art cause I plan before hand, but someone used a wrist twist move on me for fun recently. ಥ_ಥ)

Anyway, moving forward.

Frisk and Chara of SacredFell: I enjoy teh designs. And me personally, I like Frisks design, the fact Frisk went through multiple design phases is nice to know. Would you ever show Frisk's previous designs?

Oof, you changed SacredFell Sans height from 5’2 to 6ft, damn what a stretch. And he part of the Royal Guard, whoa! 😆hotsome big skeleman.

Also, I love the art style of @/melikitinas, too. 💖

Feb 14: … ScaredFell Papyrus…. I-... 11ft height, yeah, we gonna need a height chart. I short, so they a fucking tree at this point, imagine Paps just bending at the waist towards a shorty like me, he’s gotta be prone on the ground or something. AND his fine ass a 2nd in Command Royal Guard, too. ○( ＾皿＾)っ AWWHEHESJDHWU ✨

Feb 21: LORE Ah, so the beginning is different, interesting. *reads through it with glasses* (I was recently working on my other OCs at the time as well :D.) 

Yukki sounds like a good character! And portaled? Oooooh, portaled, I wanna know backstory! 

Did Yukki not go through the ruins? She just collapsed in Snowdin? Was she unconscious the entire time she was taken to Asgore, up until Toriel saved her?

And usually humans, are strong, is Yukki weak due to something? (you don’t have to reveal too much lore unless you wanna) How much power does Yukki have? Why does it drain so quickly? 

Also, love Toriel, to save one instead of all, what a mother. Even if Yukki wasn’t her own, that was such a big sacrifice for the price of saving one child over freedom. I would love to see how you draw that part out.

And Toriel left Yukki behind the waterfalls, why not take Yukki with her? 

Why out of all the souls, Kindness was taken, would this serve as a significant plot point in the AU?

Would Yukki grow to harbor bad intent or negative emotions towards the monster or would she end up sacrificing herself after understanding the monster’s want for freedom, would she find another way, would she resort to genocide at some point(despite her being weak)? 

Would Toriel come in clutch next time Yukki is in grave danger? 

And what plans would Asgore have after he gets Toriel, I would’ve expected that he wanted Toriel dead, not with a bounty on her head to be returned ALIVE to his home. I'm probably just thinking to the extremes. 😂

I like this plot. I’d love to know how Frisk and Yukki will come together. And if within the one or two years, Yukki stayed with Sans and Papyrus, would the brothers falter when they need to get their jobs done for Asgore when the time comes? Would Sans and Papyrus eventually come to value Yukki as their own friend? Does Yukki know Sans and Papyrus are working to gain her trust to betray her in the end? 

Also is Toriel and Sans doing the knock knock joke through the gate in this AU too? What’s Toriel’s relationship with the characters so far? Within the time Yukki was living in the Underground, does she come to meet Toriel again?

Feb 23: YUKKI I agree Yukki is a main focal point in the beginning of this AU, I really like this. I can’t wait to see how you build this lore up. Would Toriel act again when Frisk comes? Would Toriel talk to Frisk about Yukki? How old is Yukki again? To me, Yukki looks like she has a strong presence, tongue sticking out, seems playful. ✨

Feb 27: Comic Heh. Middle school art is always nostalgic to look back on. I wish I still had some of mine. I threw most out due to the fact, I didn’t want physical evidence of my cringe art tying back to me, but looking back on it now. I was stupid and paranoid. 

Now cringe art is one of my favorite art pieces to discover, it brings a certain emotion outta you, am I right? Yeaahh.  

Anyway, I admire you for sharing your old art and comic. 

An AU, especially when a creator is lovingly dedicated to it, can become hectic and mentally crowded and out of order, or as you say “all over the place.” Good luck on that journey, creating comlex stories is hard! I was overwhelmed by my own ideas and burned out at some point and stopped entirely. You make me wanna go back to my little world.

And Yukki and SacredFell Sans look like they get along noicely. yukki hand on her hip, confidence and power ✨👌 makin' Sansy sweat.

Mar 7: Yay Toriel Character Sheet Me like tall woman. She taller than Sans, haha. I gotta learn how to draw a goat at some point. And she looks good in my opinion. Do SOUL Protectors gain power from the souls? Wouldn't they accidentally at some point absorb the soul? Has any of the protectors even thought of doing that? Doesn't the barrier need one monster soul and one human soul to break the barrier, or is that different in this AU?

Mar 11: Another comic redraw, SacredFell Asgore WIP

Aw SacredFell Sans and Yukki smiling together, your old drawing of them is cute. ANd that’s a jump, good to know they're out of the underground. Hope you eventually find the right design for Yukki, that you’re gonna be satisfied with. I’m excited to find out how they got out of the underground, too.

What's the key on Sans? And the heart necklace on Yukki?

And yes, I think Tumblr does something with the quality of an image when posted, because compared to my computer view, my phone view of some posts are different a bit.

Yass, show off the Goat man. 

ANd I also saw your Avatar DTIYS, looks awesome! I love the coloring, shading, and perspective! 

Mar 15: Update Eh, it didn’t take a while for me to gather info on your AU, it was spread out a little yes, but not so much, for me the pacing was alright. 

Ah and the ask blogs, yeah I dunno how I’m doing this tbh. 

And a webtoon would be great! But I hear it’s a lot of work to put into it, take small steps, so you won’t stress or burn yourself out. But I would definitely read teh webtoon if you were to make one. 

Mar 16: SacredFell Undyne WIP I love Undyne, I just dunno how to draw her yet. Love the art! She pretty. 

Mar 16: SacredFell Flowey Flowey in a bag, hahahahaha. I like how annoyed he looks in the drawing.  

Mar 17: SacredFell Monster Kid Another main character, you developing a lot of lore right now I bet. I wonder how MK will play out in your AU. 

Mar 18,22 : It’s UNDYNE >.< Fangirling. Another Tall strong woman. And missing parents during gaster’s disappearance, is this what I think it is, a lore hint?!?!   

Mar 23: Alphys Alphys is gonna be somewhat of a sly character in the plot huh, wow! And she fights, you gotta make art of that at some point! Alphys having bravery is interesting! 

Pfft, you spelled “Bavery” I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it. 

Mar 23: Gaster I love how you drew Sans and Papyrus in at Gaster’s “You’re in Trouble” expression.

And me like the tinted glasses as well.

Mar 24: Mettaton! He a Bravery SOUL Decoy! Was that Alphy’s idea to make him like that? Is he famous in the underground as well? He’s a looker. And he got four arms! Yuuusss! 

Mar 26?: Muffet Indeed a 5’7 lady spider is a cutie patootie, the arms are good, multiple is betta. Good design!  And she is also part of the Royal Guard, what will the fight be like? I’m curious! 

Mar 26?: That Sacredfell Mini Comic/Story was nicely put together! The end where SacredFell Sans responds with, “I don’t know.” I enjoyed reading this conversation! And Undyne in her royal armor MWUAH!  

So from all this, hopefully I did something good for you, most are just questions and comments, but I hope it served as an answer. *ahem*

A new character was added. [Yukki] = Will lead to more plot. *Check*

There’s a different backstory before the arrival of Frisk. *Check*

Toriel makes an act against Asgore before leaving, Asgore ordering Sans and papyrus to gain Yukki’s trust until the “time” comes = Complicated relationships *Check* 

I can fangirl, which means I can simp, which means, I’m invested. ✨ *CHECK CHECK CHECK*

The concept is really good! (The fact Asgore would entrust the souls to another and make them SOUL Protectors, and you still fight Alphys even in the pacifist route, and I sense "things" though not sure what, but it makes me look forward to your lore.) *ChecK* 

It’s a Fell type Universe. (I love Underfell) *CHECK* 

The art is noice!!!! *CHecK* 

I find interest in how characters will interact or encounter each other. *Check* 

I can see the work put into this AU! I see their dedication based from the dates you posted things about your AU. I really look forward to seeing how you continue to develop and make art for your SacredFell AU! With what you’ve shown at this time, I can happily tell you, for me this AU is interesting, there’s potential in many areas, character development, choice of dialogue, different relationship dynamics, personality, world building, plot changes, etc.

I wish I had more to say, I think most of my response here sounded... I think repetitive, maybe some questions were even answered already and I didn't catch it? Though hopefully I conveyed to you that I think you're doing well for what've you've shown thus far!

That's my grand opinion. 😁✨

Also, I found you through graphictale au. 💕💖👌✨

😙 Both ya'll wonderful.

#answered #tried to get the posts all together #undertale au #underfell au #hopefully this makes sense #took a while #sorry for late reply #i may have rambled a bit :D #got sleepy with my research #I spent a whole night till next afternoon to give you a good answer that doesn't sound like shit #if it's not a good answer imma try again? :D #did I successfully overwhelm you #i could think of more questions #i uhhhhh #i didn't proofread this #longest writing I've done on here

[hazelcephalopod]

My review of DnD: Honor Among Thieves:

Tl;dr: overall I liked it -I was side eying a lot of the dragon arc. Also, surprisingly- needed more magic. Druids are full casters, Bards are full casters, Paladins are half casters! Did Holga even rage?

Also I fully thought Simon was secretly an artificer actually, for 1/3 of the movie.

For a movie it was good fun. I enjoyed that it didn’t take itself too seriously, and the characters felt like dnd characters yet in a good way? Which is really hard to do without it becoming too campy and while I like camp not everyone does. The story was simple but fitting, because it felt like a dnd campaign. In terms of character and story it was pretty spot on. Except one thing, more bisexuality needed.

Now for the cons (aka DnD nerd nitpicks DnD movie the for #1,000,057th time)-

As a lifeline fan on DnD, both the game and the settings most especially Faerûn -I was introduced to to Faerûn when I was like 8 folkx. My dad played 3.5 and maybe even earlier additions. I have many 3.5 books and have played a little of that edition, 4th, and quite a bit of 5th. I watch so much rpg and dnd specifically actual plays and I criticize them and love them. And criticize the critics. So. Where were the classes? Where was the lore? What is best boy Xenk a Paladin of?? It doesn’t have to be a god, but tbh, imo not having gods is a fucking waste! It’s Faerûn! Faerûn is drowning in gods, sometimes literally! Throw a rock and you’ll unearth some gods bs. Was Mystra, goddess of magic and more importantly bffs/gf/child/it’s very complicated of Elminster “what if I became a woman? And enjoyed it! Again!” Aumar even mentioned? (Yea mfers I read DnD books. And wikis!) (also reminder he is Simons great-great-great(?) grandfather, so the opportunity was there)

Also, I know that Tieflings can be typical skin tones or whatever. However two things 1) why did she have elf ears? Two… damn those parents where whimps she coulda passed for human, or part elven very, very easily. Also I’m sry but total waste to make her look like tiefling Keyleth CR. Give her some weird color, even if it’s just like blue freckles or something. Next-ly , when the soldiers are chasing her I guess I could accept she rolled a nat one. Multiple times. But how did they know she was a she? And why call her a “wild shape” and not a “Druid”. Bc calling her a wild shape, like shouting “Wild shape!” While chasing her? it… it Was. A bit. Weird. Moving oon…

More egregious was the strange lack of magic, when there’s was also so much magic. Half of Simons spells are from strange little objects, which is why I thought he might be a secret artificier or maybe multiclassed. For a minute I thought he was an eldritch trickster! However that’s relatively minor -actually I was a little disappointed he wasn’t an artificer, because they are cool and I love strange little magic devices and trinkets. Which, in comparison to no one else using magic except to become trademark animals and many non trademarked ones. Why would they not want people to know that druids, and bards, AND paladins, HAVE MAGIC?!? Don’t tell me they are too low level. I saw Xenk fight! Paladin Yendar is at least level 7. At least! (Maybe 6… but 7 is already a stretch tbh.) The rest? Bards have magic at level one, as do druids. And Druid Doric the Wild Shape was at least level 5 herself thank you. So no! Rejected, they where mid ranged level at least! Where’s the magic! Hmm!?

Imho they could have solved this several ways. (You can choose whichever combination you prefer). 1. Instead of uh, Bard (looks up his name) Edgin (lol) Darvis make him a mastermind Rogue or something. 2. If not, have him do spells but when Simon points it out everyone is like “no but that’s different because it’s music magic. Duh”. 3. Same thing for Doric, “no she can’t do it because she only has nature magic. It’s different”. 4. Hilariously, make Doric also terrible at casting spells. 5. I wanted Holga to rage more. I’m sry. Fighters can do everything she did and idc. Make it look magic or something. 6. Same with Xenk. Where was the brandishing his holy symbol and doing some magic? Bc I was like “wait is he just a high level fighter? Or rogue/fighter” (Which would have been funny to me) (ok I checked. He casts a spell on his sword once. Which I missed completely. Makes no difference to my point. Eldritch knight or trickster could do similar)

So that’s my review. If you made it this far good job. Tbh, I think I just know too much about Dnd, because otherwise I quite enjoyed this movie. I kinda hope they make more of them, so the studios better fucking learn to respect their workers and negotiate.

PS: Maybe we could do without the fat jokes next time. Or ever again.

PPS: srsly they better learn to negotiate. Because we have we have other options and I can watch countless actual plays for thousands of hours. And waiting the strike out so long people are starting to lose housing and probably worse? Well, there’s plenty of creator owned projects to provide more support to instead. (TBC- I mean if you can do that anyway but, like stop giving the assholes the support and distribute those funds to the creators)

#Dnd #Dungeons & Dragons: honor among thieves #dnd:hat

[quietwingsinthesky]

Question: cringe culture is 100% dead, but I'm curious what you'd pick as your most embarrassing fandom, past or present? I know some people consider supernatural to be a guilty pleasure but honestly there's some other fandoms that I'm way more embarrassed to still like

Generally, I’m not really embarrassed about any of the stuff I’ve been into. If I liked it, clearly it brought me joy at the time and that’s what matters. You know, how would I be the person I am today if I didn’t play Undertale or even if I didn’t read every creepypasta I could get my hands on as a kid? That plus my memory problems means no cringe for me lol. But I guess I could talk about a few.

MLP was back when the show was still airing — I want to say 3rd or 4th season? — and I just dove into the fandom because ‘woah guys did you know that people write stories about the ponies? That there are infinite amount of stories to read?’ Which, you know, ups and downs, you got your Keepers of Discord but you’ve also got your Cupcakes. (Though, to be honest, the fact that I had a reading of Cupcakes bookmarked on my computer to listen to to help me fall asleep? probably explains uhm. Some Stuff About Me.) Honestly, wouldn’t trade my time with MLP for anything, and I still love the show and a lot of fanworks dearly. I rewatch Lullaby for a Princess every few weeks, I reread Something Sweet To Bite every Halloween, and when I can’t sleep, I still find myself going to ObabScribbler or TheLostNarrator’s YouTube channels to find fic readings to calm my brain down.

Dream SMP is… more complicated. Obviously, if you know anything about it, you know all the shit that came out. I won’t get into that here because that’s not really a part of my experience? Just sort of a gross thing that overshadows it all, even though I was out of the fandom before any of that stuff was known. I actually got into it to bond with my little sister, she loved that stuff, and damn it all, but I got unironically sucked in by just the fantastic work that came out of a fandom surrounding a minecraft roleplay server lol. They aren’t wrong about the art that got made for those YouTubers, it’s all stunningly good. And it’s how I found Sad-ist’s animations on YouTube. Still subscribed to them, their work is always beautiful to watch, the old Dream SMP stuff and the new stuff. And I liked bonding with my sister over the bonkers minecraft lore. The end of that hyperfixation was when Technoblade died. Got too real, all of a sudden, too close to home, and I peaced out hard. It was good, though, while I was there. I liked having something to talk to my sister about.

Uhhhh okay out of that downer ending let’s talk about Sherlock. Yes hi hello original superwholock-er here, despite only seeing the first two seasons of doctor who but IT COUNTS. I can’t even be mad at past me for liking Sherlock because I probably wouldn’t be as close to my friends as I am if we hadn’t all been watching s3-4 live. And dunking hard on s4. I was never a johnlock conspiracy person, so that helps. There was the time my friend read us outloud some Johnlock mpreg ass birth fanfic in math class. That was… an experience. I give this a “I can’t plug my phone in without being haunted by his voice”/10

And finally, back to serious town, Harry Potter. I don’t even have anything good to say here, really. The whole “mourning something important to my childhood” phase is long over, the damage continues to be done, and. And nothing. I just don’t want to see it anymore. It’s not shame or cringe, I guess, it’s more like… disappointment. Not at myself, because fuck it, dude, I was a kid, I knew everything there was to know about the books, I waited for the mail when I turned eleven, I wrote “Hogwarts is my Home” on the inside of my closet like a ward to keep me safe. The first thing I ever read about being trans was a damn Harry Potter fic, one of the first podfics I ever made, too, though I was too chicken to post it. So what’s left except disappointment, even the anger long gone because it just keeps happening. I just don’t want to see it anymore.

Anyway, uhhhhm. Hope that suffices as an answer lol, I rambled on way too long.

#sorry wow lol you asked for one I gave you four #I am bad at being concise sorry #anyway if you want me to say which one is most embarrassing — it’s Sherlock. that’s the only one I’m a little embarrassed about. #ask #mlp #dream smp #harry potter #sherlock #< in case anyone has those blocked o7

[cashandprizes]

Hii I’m new to redacted, and I’m wondering who Freelancer is, like I’m a bit confused lol. Also r huxley and Daimen dating ? Is it jus the two of them or r they in a Polly with some listener. Also who else has a listener ?

Ik David and angel. Ash and babe. Sweetheart and milo. Vincent and his partners whos pet name I forgot. Sam and darlin. But that’s I know. Please helppp 🙏🙏 I’m so confused and idk where to start with the lore !!

hi! I cannot believe someone is asking me for lore help um. okay.

The way I understand it, there's probably two ways to go about learning the lore.

You could start with the everything playlist and just listen in order - make sure you check warnings on audios but just go for it.

Or you could just start picking playlists and when other people get mentioned just hop over to their playlists until you know what's going on, which is basically what I did?

I started with Freelancer Season 1 playlist, which upon discussion is probably the best place to start understanding what the heck is going on. Around season 2 of Freelancer, you're gonna want to listen to some of the Shaw Pack and House of Solaire storylines before you get too far or else you will be very lost. By the time you get to the Inversion, it'll probably help to be caught up on Avior, Blake, Elliott, Brachium, Vega, and Project Meridian.

The timeline also exists, which thank you sophie for reminding me because I basically fucking ignore it , so you can also look through there. I think the ones that are directly in a video have links to the videos.

I feel like I should mention that I do NOT follow canon esp since the timeline came out (hence, "we take canon out back like ol yeller") so everything I say goes against this. Buuuut, to answer your questions:

Freelancer is the listener for the DAMN squad (Damien, Huxley, Gavin, and Lasko up until like a week ago)

Yes, Damien and Huxley are dating <3 I love them sooooo many

These are... most of the listeners. Regulus's listener is missing and Lasko's listener was just introduced but yeah

You have Morgan - Seer Obscura, Blake and his "friend"/"bestie", Elliott - Sunshine, Vega - Warden/Darling (Pet in imperium), David - Angel, Avior - Starlight, Milo - Sweetheart, Asset is um... complicated (used to be "love" for Marcus), Geordi - Cutie, Ollie - Babe, Sam - Darlin, Gavin - Freelancer, Guy - Honey, Asher - Baaabe, Aaron - Smartass, Vincent - Lovely

Idk if you have more questions you can ask? I am not the authority tho lmao!!!

#asks. #hellokittiesxbae

[gaecactae]

This is going to be a bit of a post, so if you would like to hear me out about Sam, go under the cut! It does contain spoilers from today’s lore.

Let’s talk about Awesamdude today! Since a lot happened in the lore today and Sam showed us the new face of angry Warden, a lot of people are hating his character completely. So yeah it will all be rp focused, not the content creator!! Just so we know.

So shall we begin.

Sam, Awesamdude, is, as a little introduction, one of the first, original DSMP members that joined ever. He’s very good with redstone, having his secret base in BadLands, far away from the SMP terrains. The whole place was first protected by complicated mechanisms, now it’s no longer too secret.

Sam was known as one of those more responsible adults on the server, the one that protects, the one that cares more about the younger members, etc.

We’re going to focus on the prison situation mostly, okay?

Sam picked up his duty as a Warden, since he was the one that built it, easy as that. As a reminder, the Prison was built as a commission, coming from Dream.

Lore wise, we know Sam is technically always in the Prison, always making sure Dream is stuck inside, this is his duty. He said this couple of times, that he WILL care more about keeping Dream locked up, than saving individuals in extreme situations. There are rules in the prison that he swore to go by. EVERYONE comes under them, as they sign the book.

I mean… look at him. He is there for the whole time, on his own, lore wise we know he hears the Guardian noises for the whole time, maybe he hears Dream’s distant maniacal laughter somewhere in the back; I mean come on. The Prison is such a hollow place and he’s there for the whole time basically. How can you not be tired of it?

What about the guards he hired? No one is ever here to back him up, I saw them in action once and if I remember well - it was when Tubbo built dicks on the top of the prison’s roof and they were intervening.

It’s just… I dunno, but if we are all so eager to embrace and take personally Tommy’s lore and Ranboo’s lore and live with it - why don’t we do that will everyone? I think Sam completely deserved to have his lore taken seriously and good look at.

He is not only the prison worker that allows people to die inside. Sam is responsible for keeping Dream locked up, he is not responsible for what Dream does. Furthermore - every single person that walks into the prison KNOWS what Dream can do, THEY are making the decision to go inside. No one is pushing them to do that.

It’s also not that he will wash his hands off what happened. He was petrified when Tommy was murdered inside the prison but what could he do? Sam is trying hard, and he’s not perfect, he makes a lot of mistakes and it shows. But he’s certainly doing more well thought things and is being more reasonable about the whole Dream situation, then anyone else.

Again looking lorewise, he is tired. People are constantly fucking with him, I mean this constant messing around the prison which he treats very seriously, messing with him as a Warden. Time for Ponk’s situation.

For those who don’t know - Ponk once stole Sam’s access keys to the prison that apparently weren’t working anymore cause he changed them out at some point. He found them in some chest by his house, there were 11 of them.

If you know me, you will know I absolutely love Ponk. I love to listen to him and to watch him, it’s entertaining. But I knew that by taking the keycards, he is doing exactly what Tubbo was doing by building penises on the roof - messing with the prison, interrupting Sam’s duties.

Cutting off his hand was definitely not the way to go, Sam messed up with how brutal he appeared. Though I can see why he was acting this way.

Prison is his job, he is taking it as serious as he can. It has its rules, once again, and you know what? Everyone come under those rules, even Sam’s beloved one, like Ponk! He can’t make exceptions.

Thus I was so surprised by Sam’s deeds today. Sam had 100% right to kill Tommy instantly for sneaking inside like this. Of course Tommy didn’t want to break Dream out - but how can Sam know? Sam doesn’t know his real intentions, you think he will listen to Tommy say he wanted to break in and kill Dream, he will be like “oh yeah ok sure well here’s all my set go on”?

Sam doesn’t trust Tommy, but oh well, Tommy doesn’t trust Sam anymore as well.

I won’t ever agree with people that say that what happened today wasn’t Tommy’s fault. It was, is and will be Tommy’s fault. Seriously, don’t glorify Tommy for being Tommy and being a minor. It’s… to say at least, a weird reasoning.

Look. I understand we’re all protecting Tommy and Tubbo and Ranboo, because they are younger, they were put through a lot - but as you can see, they can sort it out on themselves! Tommy was fighting his traumas just the other day, it obviously doesn’t mean he’s completely fine, but he seriously doesn’t need to be protected, or glorified all the way. It’s tiring seeing people constantly blame every single incident on anyone around, but Tommy. That’s seriously… it’s not how it works yall.

On the same time, obviously - it was Dream’s responsibility for killing Ghostbur, who was the most damaged in the whole situation today. I mean, man’s in afterlife now damn

But back to Sam - I’m completely convinced he’s not the one to blame. At least not for everything but there is something that’s called “a talk” that could have happened between Tommy and Sam, about the prison and keeping Dream like this and maybe considering ending this all. It could have happened completely different way, and it was very disappointing to see Tommy’s character that was already so nicely improving, to flop back down and hear him just spit “fuck you’s” at Sam, victimising himself in the whole thing.

I don’t plan on changing my mind on this, if you’re wondering.

And I bet there’s plenty of stuff I forgot that I wanted to mention, so if I remind myself about them - they will probably be added in the comments

Thank you for reading! I hope English isn’t scuffed too much, my thoughts were flying a bit, because it’s 4:30am as I write this so yea heuh

#dream smp #dreamsmp theory #dream smp awesamdude #awesamdude

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

ahdflksjaklf;jsls ok buddies - I hate talking about 14x13: Lebanon, but it has relevancy in the “John Winchester is a villain and cannot and should not be redeemed” discourse as well as being a crucial piece of finale denialist lore so I Have Been Thinking About It Too Much.

As you may recall, the Occult Object of the Week - the pearl - in Lebanon is supposed to grant Dean’s “heart’s desire.” Dean and Sam are Very Sure this means expelling Michael (the Dean Winchester Must Be Saved installment of season 14) (honestly that premise always seemed a little slim to me, I was hoping for Dean’s heart’s desire to be Cas, on Dean’s car, naked, covered in bees). 

Instead they summon Dad of the Year, which at first feels infuriating.  However after discussion with my earworms, I Have Fixed It (and also turned it into a grenade to launch at 15x20.)

Finale denialists and John Winchester derogatorians ASSEMBLE! and let’s discuss after the cut.

I’ve written in depth about Dean’s struggles with the cycle of abuse, so I won’t go too far into it here, but if you want to revisit any of that meta this is a good place to begin.  This post hinges on the same theory - that Dean’s true freedom is established in his release from that cycle - that is the logical outcome of any hero’s journey for him, and where he would finally be able to accept happiness and love.  This logically would also make release from the cycle of abuse and the feelings of self-hatred Dean struggles with his “heart’s desire” for purposes of the pearl.  When it comes to emotions, we also know Dean doesn’t deal with them well.  He punches things instead.  So odds are, Dean hasn’t really worked through these feelings.  

Dean also mentions when John returns that “it was what [Dean] wanted since he was 4″ - when they lost Mary, right before John became obsessed with revenge.  Season 12 Mary canonically remembers John as a “good dad,” so we can draw a line from that to the abuse really starting shortly after her death.  This is also corroborated by Dean himself:

DEAN: You know when you died, it changed Dad. 

(A visual of the John Mary remembers) (just my excuse to put pictures of Matt Cohen on your dash) (I shouldn’t need an excuse) (Matt Cohen hi you are on Tumblr please don’t read any of this I’m embarrassed).

So what Dean has is pre-Mary’s-death John and post-Mary’s-death John, post-Mary’s-death John being the one whose abuse created Dean’s own damaged persona.  Dean thinks the fix is to stop things on the front end (he is ignoring any process-centered solution, he just wants it to never have happened, he is in denial that he has to work through this and just wants it to be erased, etc etc etc).  

***also keep in mind that going back in time to change things on the front end as a “fix it” is a storyline SPN repeats regularly***

***and it always ends up being impossible to do*** 

Ok so for Dean, his damage/anger/brutal nature/darkness is always linked to John, and this cycle “began” for Dean once their family was torn apart by Mary’s death.  So the fix is his “blood family” together.  That’s his heart’s desire in Lebanon because Dean hasn’t really worked through any of his emotions, and it’s his very Dean way of fixing it - “oh if my family gets put back together I will be put back together too.”

***speaking of quick fixes, I’d like to note that any case in SPN that is referred to as a “milk run”  inevitably becomes complicated and messy***

***continuing the thematics of there’s no such thing as a quick fix***

This is no different.  Stopping the cycle by simply erasing it from the narrative erases anything else that happened along the way during the journey.  It erases this Mary (who they know as a person by this point and not just the mom on a pedestal) 

and (most importantly) it erases this Cas (the episode specifically replaces Cas with one who Doesn’t Know Dean).

We Emphasize This Of Course In The Dialogue In Case You Missed It

DEAN Cas, you know us. ALTERNATE CAS I don’t know you.

***Simply erasing the origin of Dean’s trauma erases all of Dean’s growth.  It erases this family that Dean is so proud to tell John he has now. It erases everything he has already overcome despite how hard it was to achieve it.

So, John goes back.  In that way, the pearl does give Dean his heart’s desire - his realization that this is not about a quick fix, it is about the journey to the good, and all you gain and become along the way (kind of similar to “Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it" eh?).  it’s the process.  It’s every moment along the way.  It’s the people who help him get there.

And then he starts the healing journey by taking control of his own life, by owning his feelings instead of displacing the blame, by recognizing he is NOT guided solely by the actions of his father and this cycle:

DEAN

And for the longest time, I blamed Dad. I mean, hell, I blamed Mom, too, you know? I was angry. But say we could send Dad back knowing everything. Why stop there? Why not send him even further back and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world? But here’s the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Well, maybe. But I gotta be honest – I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.

And the episode fucking ends with Cas, the Cas Who Knows Them coming into the bunker and asking them what happened, calling each of them by name just to emphasize again That He Knows Them, because Cas knowing Dean, and Cas being Dean’s family is the cornerstone of what Dean’s heart desires.

[CAS walks in from the door at the top of the stairs. SAM, DEAN and MARY walk out from the library to see him.]

CAS Mary, Sam, Dean. What happened?

So yeah, it took 14 damn seasons but Lebanon is where Dean realizes he can be defined by more than the acts of his father.  (That’s why it’s so terrifying for Dean when Chuck snatches back any control he gained in Season 15.  Because for Dean, Chuck is just John Winchester Controls My Every Action all over again, except he’s God which makes it even worse.) 

That’s also why the final blow to Chuck is not Dean killing him. 

The last stage in the journey that begins here with Dean’s “I’m good with who I am” - [I’m still bad and dark and damaged but I’m good with it]

is Dean’s “that’s not who I am.” [the most caring man on Earth; the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know]

Thats equally why 15x18 is so brilliant, 15x19 is at least acceptable, and 15x20 simply does. not. work.

Dean Winchester’s perfect heaven cannot possibly center on the blood family.  It does not have John Winchester and Mary, husband and wife, who took away his own free will.  It is THIS FAMILY.  The found family.  Cas and Jack and Sam and the Mary that was resurrected.  Dean’s entire character arc supports this journey, and to have it culminate in something that is so established in the season prior to this one as something Dean knows he no longer wants is maddening.

I’m even more mad now because I just remembered that the most prominent picture above Dying Sam’s bed was the blood family portrait from this episode; almost like they wanted us to remember this particular stupid lesson.  This show is so stupid when it could have been so so so very good.

***I want to say thanks again to all of you who read my spiraling if you got this far.  It’s therapeutic for me to do it, but it makes it all the better that people actually read it.  Seeing you in my notes MAKES my entire day****

#seriously im feral again #spn #spn meta #Lebanon #John Winchester is a trash heap #spn 14x13 #destiel #found family #spn fandom #spn family #Dean Winchester analysis #somebody help me im spiraling back into finale denialist rage #deancas #found family forever #supernatural is a show #but it is also a way of life #just my daily therapy of psychoanalyzing Dean Winchester #somebody come get me I have officially entirely gone mad #15x20 sucks and this is why #destiel hivemind Meet the Parents #myspnmeta

[protectchara201x]

(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)

I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.

But.

With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.

Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.

(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)

I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)

Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.

But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.

So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.

Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.

... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.

And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)

I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.

I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -

I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).

(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)

I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.

... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.

TLDR:

Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.

... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!

II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point

While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.

If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.

Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.

In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.

The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.

The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.

This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?

Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.

For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.

Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.

(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)

And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.

TLDR:

What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.

#undertale #deltarune #undertale chara #chara dreemurr #Undertale theory #deltarune theory #undertale meta #deltarune meta #kris dreemurr #noelle holiday #text post #long post #i am genuinely so happy #yall who were mean to chara better APOLOGIZE #toby fox is on the chara defense squad #tw child death #here's my hot stinkin take #full disclosure #i haven't run into anything yet talking about chara wrt dr ch2 #i am very curious for other people's thoughts #unless you're like #willingly and spitefully interpreting everything as being chara's fault #then tbh i don't want to hear from you

[jaywritesfics]

Since requests are open could I get platonic c!Tommy x female! reader?

Okay, so reader is almost perfect Technoblade copy. She is god at PvP, genius tactician and can build very well.

She never settles down, or at least it seems like it. She has a base far in the nether, hidden from everyone but not many know that. To people it seems like she is always on her way, gathering resources and training, always on the move.

One day, she saves smol (like 9-13 year old Tommy) from mobs and decides to help him with training (reader is already an adult). They form a parent-child bond and reader becomes this mother figure to him. However, reader after some time wants to leave, and does so, some time before events of the smp starts. She was kind of controlling the whole situation, as in as long as she was there she was the mediator for everyone, basically unofficial ruler of the server. The moment she disappeared, everything crumbled.

So, time skip to Tommy's exile when his mental and physical health is declining, reader returns from her adventures and stumbles upon him. She is angered at what had happened and after taking care of him and making sure to bring him to the normal state, she goes straight to the cities to bring back balance by kicking some ass.

I'm leaving ending up to you, hopefully it won't be this complicated

Good luck ❤️❤️❤️

OMG I LOVE THIS!!! I’m sorry if this seems a bit rushed... (Because it was...) I really wanted to get this done before the school week because I have so much stuff to do. I will make a second part since this was kinda short and not the entire story I had planned. I will try to get the second part out as soon as I can but for now I hope you enjoy this! I hope I did your request justice!

|Burning Pile |Part.1| Platonic c!Tommy x Reader|

Warnings?: Swearing, Angst, and mentions of suicide.

Request?: Yes!  Thanks lukerycyja for the request!

Pronouns?: None used but female reader implied. Also sorry if this isn’t completely accurate to the canon smp storylie its been so long since I’ve watched any of Tommyinnits Lore streams due to school work, so please cut me slack if I messed up on any of that stuff...0-0 

Extra notes?: Part two is on it’s way soon!

“Shit…” You’ve been traveling the surface for hours and you just now realized you forgot your axe at your base. You groan in annoyance and find a nearby tree and sit down to relax because your feet had started to hurt and you open your bag and take out some apples to eat. You usually come to the surface every other month for food and resources, as you live in the nether and it doesn’t have cows and pigs… Well unless you can call those Piglin actual pigs.

“Okay,” You begin to say to yourself, 

“I forgot my axe and now I have to go all the way back to my portal…*sigh*, why do I do this to myself?” You take a bite of your apple and you just sit and take in the scenery. When you spot a couple of tree stumps and a wood wall not too far away from where your sat.

 “Oh shit.” You say aloud, dropping your apple. You hear the sound of humming coming from behind the wall and you stand up to hurry and get out of there…You never interact with anyone… your by yourself all the time... You used to have company though. A little boy you saved so many years ago. Tommy. His name was Tommy. You basically raised him for years… He was like a son to you. You trained him to fight and fend for himself when he eventually grew up and didn’t need you anymore. You haven’t seen him since you decided to leave. Why did you leave? You can’t quite remember. You hear a voice coming from behind the wall… it sounds so familiar. You near the wall and you place an ear against it to listen in on whoever is behind it. 

“Why Tubbo? Why. Why? Why?” The voice sounds even more familiar than before, Is it who you think it is? If so, who's Tubbo? Maybe it’s not him… It couldn’t be… You walk around and spot an opening and you peer around the corner. You see the backside of the person. Short yet untamed blonde hair, Red and white tore shirt and ripped tan pants. It’s him… It has to be… You step inside the structure, tears rolling down your face. 

“Tommy?” You say in a shaky voice. He turns around eyes wide. He has bags under his eyes, and the once light blue color has faded to blue-tinted grey. He stares at you and his jaw drops. A single tear falls from his eye then he shuts his mouth and turns away covering his ears with his hands.

“Dream whatever sick game you're playing I’m not falling for it! One of these days so help me I’ll kill you!”  Dream? Who is… Shit, You’ve been gone so long you can’t seem to remember a single damn other person. 

“Tommy, I don’t know who Dream is but… it’s me… Y/n… I- I’m sorry for leaving I just…”

“Just stop!” He throws a sword at your head but it just misses you and hits the wall beside you. 

“Now come on I taught you better than that…” You say to him, walking up to him and kneeling down to look him in the eyes. 

“It’s really me Tommy-” You try to finish your sentence but he already has his arms wrapped around you. You can feel teardrops falling on your shoulders and you can’t help but start crying too.

“Y/n… I missed you! Why did you have to leave! You bitch!” He hugs you tighter as he speaks, more tears rolling down his face.

“I’m sorry Tommy I just… I don’t remember… and- I- I’m sorry…” Your makeshift “family reunion” is interrupted by an arrow flying past both your heads. You stand up and turn around to see a tall man in a green hoodie with a mask with some silly face on it. It must be that Dream guy Tommy was talking about. 

“Who the fuck are you bitch?” He says pointing his crossbow at you. 

“What did you just call me? Also, a 5-year-old called, he wants his arts and crafts project back.” You say, he tenses up and takes a step forward.

“Leave now or I’ll put an arrow in your head, bitch.” He adjusts his crossbow and you reach for the bow and arrow on your back and in an instant you fire an arrow at him, piercing his arm. 

“Now I could have put it through your head but I like to look my victims in the eyes when I kill them… it's more fun that way.” You tell him with a huge grin on your face. He drops his crossbow and pulls the arrow out of his arm and takes an ender pearl out of his pocket and throws it in the distance and he disappears within seconds. You look behind you to see Tommy shocked and crying. You kneel down, pick him up and start walking him over to what seems to be his bed. You set him down and give him one of the apples in your bag. 

“Are you okay Tommy? You don’t seem well.” You tell him, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

“I’m- I’m fine-” He tries to get his words out but he passes out and you quickly pick him up and hold him in your arms. You can still feel him breathing so you don’t worry too much, but you also can’t help but cry. You lay him down and you put his blanket over him. You decide that he probably is just stressed out and needs sleep so you let him rest. You take this time to hunt down some cows and pigs for food. You walk around paranoid that Dream might come back and try to hurt you or Tommy. You bag about 2 cows and 4 pigs and just as you return from hunting you see Tommy sitting on the bed with his face buried in his hands. You drop your kills and you walk over to sit down on the bed beside him. 

“You feel a bit better? If so then I gotta ask you… What are you doing alone out here all by yourself? You’re only like what, 16 at most? When I left, you had friends and other allies… how did you end up all alone?” You question him, he looks at you angered,

“How did I end up alone? How did I fucking end up alone?” He then stands up and starts to yell at you,

“You fucking left me! You left me with nothing but a couple of years of bloody sword training and the mentality of a soldier! I thought you actually cared for me like a son… But no, you just saw me as another helpless little boy who needed your guidance… Well, I don’t need your help! I can’t be helped! I’m the one who got exiled. I’m the one whose friends betrayed him!” His voice goes from a yell to a soft stern voice.

“I tried to build a nation… It was amazing... but I fail at everything. It crumbled...I should have never even tried… I should have offed myself when I had the chance…” He’s on the floor on his knees, sobbing with his head in his hands again. You stand up from the bed and kneel down to hug him. 

“Tommy… I’m so sorry that that’s how you felt about it… I had no idea how I really affected you… Tommy… I- I’m so sorry… I do love you like a son Tommy... And you’re the best son anyone could ask for… your not a failure, you deserve to live… but may I ask…”

You release him from the hug and look at him in the eyes,

“What do you mean by exiled?” (you decide to skip over the whole “build a nation” part, because you really aren’t surprised by it.) 

“Tubbo- I mean Dream. Well… They banished me from L’manberg they banished me from my home!  They banished me here to live on my own… I have nothing…”

“You don’t have nothing… You have me. I’ll help you, Tommy.” Your blood boils. They banished Tommy... Why? You don’t care… either way, you’re going to kill them… Whoever this Tubbo guy is… Your gonna kill him and Dream. You stand up and bring Tommy to his feet and wipe away his tears. 

“Go practice your sword throwing Tommy, I’ll make us some dinner.” You say as you walk over to the sword he had previously attempted to throw at you and take it out the wall.

“Hey, my sword throwing is great!” 

“Heh.. sure.” You hand him his sword and he groans jokingly and he walks outside and starts throwing his sword at some tree. You chuckle at the sight and you start to prepare your guy’s meal. You also grab your own sword and examine it. You sigh,

“Those bitches are gonna get what’s coming to them…” You whisper to yourself under your breath.

“Hey y/n! I hit my target!” Tommy yells to you.

“Good Tommy! I’m proud of you…”

#tommy mcyt #platonic tommyinnit x reader #mcyt fanfiction #platonic mcyt fanfiction #dream team #fanficion request

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

#night answers #night plays ME #(yes that's a purposeful pun lol) #((i sure have played myself by starting this series its so good aksdjflskjfd))

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

#long post // #fearless the album #gaylor #what do i tag this for it to show up for peope?? #gay rating

[enigma-im]

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

Rating: Teen Relationship: Space Orc x F!Human Warnings: angst, avoidance, emotional constipation, repression, fluff, space orc

Word Count: 3812

insecurities are like another person in a relationship, whispering in the other’s ears till something happens.

-----------------------

Soulmates are something to rejoice over. Which is understandable, it's the person who is perfect for you. How could anything go wrong? It's your other half, your partner in crime, your true paring. Everyone believed it was a simple affair, you meet and then happily ever after. It was the basics until we found out there was life outside of earth, then things got a bit more complicated. New cultures to take into account along with physiology.

Things aren't as straight forward after that.

When I was a kid I use to fantasize about my soulmate. Would they be tall, short, fat, skinny? What kind of music do they like, and will they also eat their sandwiches without the crust? I adored the idea of having a new best friend to hang with. As I got older the idea never really left, morphing more into adult-type thinking. It isn't till I could translate my mark did I begin to have doubts.

It was an off chance that I happened to see the language my soulmate spoke, a weird situation really. I was fumbling about online and I saw it, just a new article that had a picture of the written language. It as scraggly and difficult to read, like a doctor's handwriting. With further research, I found exactly what species my mate was likely to be.

Orc.

I was excited at the time, I figured it out. My mate was to be an Orc, large creature with mostly human parts. To better prepare I did some more digging, looking up anything I could that wasn't video game lore. It was all so new and surprising. I had a direction now, an image to apply to my fantasies.

Since then I have studied extensively on Orc culture. Learning the ins and outs of how they live, socialize, idolize, and talk. It was all so engaging and rich in lore. It felt like I was getting to know my mate already.

The more I researched I soon had an inching doubt. It started off small, basic insecurities. As I read about their courting did I really give it some thought.

Orcs value strength in their culture. A strong mate is heavily sought after. If a soulmate wasn't of great value then they are known to cast them aside. The idea puts lead in my stomach. I'm not strong, or large like their women. I'm tall but I fit more in the string bean category more than anything. I could never be what a typical orc would want.

As I spiraled in these thoughts one thing became clear. I will not be putting myself through that humiliation. I can't stand the thought of being viewed so lowly by someone who is supposed to be my perfect match. To be laughed at by them or be a dirty secret will kill me inside. I can't be an embarrassment, I refuse.

Thereafter I ignored my mark, keeping occupied in school and work. A little while later it became easy to avoid thoughts about him. It was like I never had a soulmate.

It wasn’t as freeing as I thought it would be.

After college I jump into my career, climbing the corporate ladder quickly. It's easy enough when you are married to your work. That even the thought of free time brings anxiety and stress. After a few years, I am exactly where I want to be. Traveling the world meeting new important people.

I have been everywhere and met every type of person. Orcs being one of those types of people. When I first saw one the excitement peaked its head, only for a moment. Then anxiety took over. What if it's him? The orc said his first words to me and the sigh of relief and disappointment was alarming. A few more introduction after that and the rising emotions settled. It was back to normal after that. Pretending that 'special' someone didn't exist.

Years passed and nothing happened. I didn't meet him or even get a trail. My soul felt numb, everything felt numb. It's hardly noticeable after so long, just a hole I've dealt with. I tried dating to fill the void but no one wants to date outside their partner. Anyone who does has lost their loved one already, wanting to also fill the void. Once they find out mine is still out there they break off quickly. So I focus on my career, it's all I have.

In my early 30s, I'm working in Germany. A lovely place but I always preferred the isles of Scotland, specifically Skye. At the embassy passing around some documents, I bump shoulders with an imposing figure. He is quite tall and buff, the poster child of orcs if I've ever seen one. He twists around, apologizing for the shoulder check.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there. Shouldn't have had my focus too far in the clouds while walking a crowded room," he smiles curtly.

I stare blank face at him, all primary functions failing. I can hear- feel- my heart beating against my chest. Everything is cold, my fingers numb but tingly. My vision tunnels and my brain just screams one thing. Run.

Rudely I turn and quickly walk away, giving no further reaction or words to my mat- to the stranger. I don't have a direction as I make it out the nearest door. I close it swiftly behind me, leaning against it. Sliding down to the floor I ball up. Pressing my knees to my chest and begin crying. Years of repression and closeting emotions are now boiling over. The sadness I ignored, convincing myself that they do not exist, is all on the surface.

I hiccup, stubbornly wiping away tears on the floor of a bathroom. All I can think is,

Fuck.

-----------------------

I have to say I've gotten good at not only avoiding emotions but people too. A week and a half of only catching glimpses of the orc. Which is a lot of glimpses, he is out and about often. It helps I'm stuck in my office for the time, only leaving for lunch. Still, he is always around when I'm out.

After I can pretend I've forgotten about him does he show up in my office. Knocking on my door a little after lunch. Too focused on work I don't hear him come in. I look up from my desk and choke.

"Hello again," he smiles," I have a folder for you, Reggie asked if I could bring it by."

"uh," I stare. My fingers grip the pen roughly, my fist almost shaking with the tension. The only thought running through my head now is, 'don't say anything'. If I talk then he will know. Then he will reject me. Then I can't go on pretending.

"You alright," he flicks the folder against his chest," didn't mean to startle you or anything. I know orcs can be kind of intimidating." I almost snort at the irony of that statement. Very intimidating indeed.

Instead of answering I hold out my hand for the folder, my other still white gripping the pen. He quickly crosses the room, handing me the folder before walking back to the door. With a curt wave, he is gone.

Once the door clicks into place I take in a greedy breath, slamming my head into my crossed arms. I groan, mumbling into my fist. My brain is muddled and my heart conflicted. I yearn to follow him but I also crave to leave back to the states. But one thought is resting quietly in the back of my head.

He looks good in those pants.

-----------------------

This idiot is now making it damn hard to avoid him. It's like he has made it his mission to get me to talk. Intercepting my way to my office in the mornings, meeting me at lunch, or delivering things to my office. He is determined, I'll give him that.

I'm almost running out of excuses. It's hard to make excuses without talking. I'm almost convinced he thinks I'm mute. Which would have been a grand way out if it wasn't for my coworkers plotting against me. As I talk with them they try to bring him into the conversation, promptly shutting me up.

I learn at some point his name is Garson. When I first heard I actually blushed, like a school girl! It was just his name and he didn't even say it. I will never understand the inner workings of soulmates but Garson always makes my controlled emotions run rapid.

As I sit in my office, absentmindedly writing my door opens. I don't look up, lost in thought for the hundredth time today.

"Hey," that deep -sexy- voice says. I sigh, shoulders slumping. I glance ahead, annoyed, and flustered. Garson waves shyly, holding up another folder. At this point, he has become my special delivery man. "From Vanya," he sets the file down," she asked I bring it on account of her bum leg. I told her it would be a bad idea to play soccer with her teens." his tense chuckle makes my heart throb. I want to ease his anxiety, but I can't. I just shrug, still writing.

He sighs, walking back out the door. The click echoed around the room and I find myself slamming my head on the desk again.

"Fuck," I groan, pounding my fist on the folder.

As I remind myself for the hundredth time why I'm doing this I notice my notes. I shift the paper and grimace at what I wrote.

Garson. Garson. Garson.

-----------------------

I can't fucking take it! He is more determined than I am stubborn. Watching him find more excuses to come to my office is almost impressive in its own right. He has upgraded from delivery boy to a food service. At some point he has found out my favorite snacks and drinks.

He interrupts me at the door, handing me a coffee while ranting about his night. As I ignore him, feeling like the biggest idjit, other coworkers join in. the number of dirty looks I get doesn't outweigh the appreciation I have for them talking to him. I feel like complete garbage when I don't respond to him, letting him look like a fool talking to someone who clearly doesn't want to talk. Thank the kindness of others.

Around lunch he pops in for a chat, offering a spot next to him in the cafeteria. I shake my head, pretending to be too busy to interact with him. Every time he offers and I decline he leaves so dejected. It's so heartbreaking to see him like that.

Day after day he tries his damndest to make friends with me. I cannot fathom this type of devotion to someone he doesn't know. I'm almost tempted to think he knows but its impossible. He is just too friendly for his own good.

Some coworkers have cornered me to ask what is up, some more confrontational than others. Some are casual in their attempts, asking simply why I'm so mean to the orc. Others are personally offended for him, being passive-aggressive to the point that I ask them to take his attention off me if they are so angry. Some do, which I'm grateful for. But he isn't swayed so easily.

I sit in my office, alone, contemplating my choices. I can't keep dealing with this. The heartbreak I feel rejecting him is as bad as him rejecting me. I'm doing what I was afraid of him doing, worse is he doesn't even know.

I have to leave.

-----------------------

It was weak, I'll admit that. Asking for a transfer was probably the easiest way out. I know I should just talk to him, let him have a choice in this, but I can't. he is a sweet guy, everyone knows that, but he is still an orc. He deserves someone strong and proud as his kind is. It's impossible for me to be that.

As I wallow on my last week of work I clean up my drawers to distract myself. I sort through some papers when the door bangs open. The knob slams against the wall, bouncing away towards that alluring figure. Garson walks in, grabbing the door and closing it behind him. His sneer is alarming, along with his clenched fist.

"You're leaving," he shouts," are you kidding me?" he walks closer to the desk, turning to pace the length of the room. " I tried, I thought maybe it's because I'm an orc and you were scared of me. I understand that, humans are super sensitive that way. But no! I was nice, patient, and doing everything I could to be nonthreatening. Yet that didn't help did it? It seems like nothing was going to fix that. So my question should really be why is my soulmate running from me?" I gasp, gawking at him. He stops his pacing, glaring down at me with crossed arms. He shrugs," well? Why are you running from me?"

I can't answer, shocked and startled by this admission. He doesn't allow me the time to stew on the question. He shoots forwards, slamming his hands on the desk. I jump.

"Why are you running from me," he chokes on a sob," It's been killing me to give you time. To watch you every day and not be able to hold you. If you want to leave, then fine. I won't stop you. I just want to know where I went wrong, what did I do? What could I have done? Was I always going to be not enough for you? Well?"

I bolt up at his words," I was scared! I was fucking scared, ok?" we both startle at my outburst. His self-deprecating look mixed with his attempt at a sneer melt off his face. I sigh, "I didn't want to be rejected, I couldn't handle that kind of pain." I drop my head in defeat.

Garson ducks down onto his knees, catching my eyes. "Why did you assume I would reject you," he asks.

"because you’re an orc and I'm not," I answer.

He scoffs," and you're a human and I'm not. Do you really see that as being a huge problem?"

"Yes," I slap the desk," of course it's going to be a problem. I'm not strong or proud, I'm weak and antisocial. I cry every time I watch sad dog movies. I can't lift more than half my body weight. I also don't have anything worthy for you. I'm an ordinary human while you are part of a devoted species. I am not worthy."

Garson just stares after my outburst. He looks between my eyes then gives me a once over. He huffs, standing straight. He combs his fingers through his long hair, turning away with a laugh.

"You have to be kidding me," he laughs again. His chuckles turn into full-blown laughter till he is lounging against the door.

"What's so funny," I snap. His laughs trail off as he watches me. When he doesn't answer, I sit, arms crossed and lip sneered.

"Sorry," he looks to his feet," it's just ironic."

"Yea, how so?"

I watch him straighten from the wall and casually flop into one of the chairs in front of my desk. Everything is quiet as he collects his thoughts. I faintly hear the sound of shuffling outside my door. No doubt some people heard the shouting.

"When I first found out what species my soulmate was I was excited. I had a direction now, I felt closer to you. I was so excited I told everyone I could. People of my clan held their tongues at my joy, only giving pitiful looks but no words. I never noticed it. It's when my parents sat me down to explain did I get it," he shifts in his chair," 'humans are scared of us' my mom said. 'they are weak' my dad said. I became torn between the fear of hurting you and the fear of you not wanting me because you'd think I'd hurt you.

"When I finally read what your words said I let their words alter me. instead of rejecting the idea of you I sent out to change. I got jobs that interacted with humans and kept myself small. I'm not a threat, I never was. I took every chance to chat with humans, to get used to them. It was all in preparation for you. I was- am- scared of you." he meets my eyes, his so full of fear. My heart patters, the view of vulnerability shaking me to the core.

"y-you were scared of me," I point to myself. The idea is laughable. "So we are a bunch of idiots too worried about each other's feelings to just ask straight out what we actually felt. That is funny," I chuckle. I huff, sitting back in my seat.

The awkward silence should be stifling but we are captured in our thoughts. It's amazing in its irony that he was also the one scared. I feel relieved and foolish all at once.

"so," he bounces his fingers on his thigh," what now?" I shift in my seat, also curious about our direction.

"depends," I nibble on my lip," do you want me despite everything?" the question lingers in the air for me. The answer I've dreaded my entire life. The choice that decides my happiness.

"Despite everything," he ponders," you ignore me for weeks, avoiding any interaction. Not talking to me less you wish to reveal yourself, and requesting a transfer. Despite all that, despite the ignorance and stubbornness, I want you." the satisfaction that flows through me is startling. My hand shakes from the previous fear and now incomparable joy.

"I never thought I would hear those words," I sigh," thank fuck."

He stands from his chair, walking over the side of my desk. "So you want me too? Despite everything," he crouches down. I grab at his face, finally allowing myself the chance to admire his handsome face. His long tusk and pierced lip. His dark green eyes and even darker green skin. He is so beautiful.

I answer him by leaning forward and capturing his lips. Pressing fiercely against him, showing him my cyclone of emotions. He returns it in full, shedding his insecurities to just hold me.

"I'm sorry," I mumble against him.

"it's ok, I'm sorry too," he kisses me again. He cards his fingers through my hair, petting down its length. I don't want to leave this moment, it filling the hole that sat too long in my heart. Though one question makes me part.

"How did you know," I ask. He traces his nose over mine with a hum.

"How did I know what," he asks.

"How did you know I was your soulmate, I didn’t say anything," I clarify. Garson answers by leaning down to my neck and taking a large inhale.

"Fresh baked cookies and honey milk," he kisses my cheek," only my soulmate can smell so good."

I laugh," you can smell your soulmate?"

"of course, all orcs can. Do humans not have this," he leans back. I shake my head, taking the time to lean in and smell him.

"pine tree and blueberries," I ponder," no, pine tree and strawberries."

"pine tree and fruit?"

"I guess so," I shrug, grinning like an idiot. He smiles with me, leaning back in for another heart stopping kiss.

-----------------------

After the week is over I transfer back to the states. The distance is aching, the void opening as he isn't there to fix it. I call him every night, regretting more than anything signing those papers. I belong right next to Garson in Germany. Though I can see now that I deserve to deal with the repercussions of my actions. Still, it sucks.

A month in I feel as empty as I did before he showed up. The daily calls help but seeing him would be better. My work suffers as a result, to the point that I consider taking vacation time to visit him.

Soon enough I do just that, putting in a week-long vacation request. I forgo telling Garson of my visit, wanting to surprise him. It's exciting to be able to this with someone. I always watch couples on tv surprising each other like this. It's nice to feel so normal.

The night before my flight I start packing. As I collect my clothes I hear a knock at the door. Tossing the items down I go over and answer. I throw open the door expecting some salesman but I'm greeted to a hulking figure.

"Garson!" I jump him with a hug. I pepper his face with kisses, too caught up in the growing affection.

"Hey, nice to see you too," he laughs, holding me close. He walks in, shutting the door behind himself as he goes into my living room. He sets us both on the couch, leaning down for a kiss.

"What are you doing here," I ask surprised.

"What, can't come visit my mate?"

"Oh shush, you know that's not what I meant. I'm asking because I was just getting ready to visit," I point towards my room," I'm in the middle of packing actually."

"really," he strokes my thigh," I guess great minds think alike."

"I guess they do," I smile. Having him here is like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I underestimated his importance until now.

We can't help but make up for lost time, making out like a bunch of teenagers on the couch till we make it to the bedroom. Pushing the luggage and clothes off the bed we make love for the first time. When he first pushes in it's like a puzzle finally coming together. I can't believe I was going to deny myself this, even with the chance of denial this is too great of a reward.

We lay in bed, me resting against his broad chest and him petting my head. We bask in the afterglow and silence, overjoyed with each other's company.

"I got some news," he mumbles, breaking the quiet. I hum, nuzzling into his chest. "I got transferred here," he answers.

I snap straight, looking down at him, "You're going to work with me?"

"yea," he smiles," it's exciting, I've never been to the states before."

"really? It's not much but now that you’re here perhaps it is," I cup his jaw, stealing a kiss while my excitement is hot.

"you flirt," he teases," I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," I mumble against his lips.

We fall asleep that night, curious but excited about our future.

I'm glad things worked out despite our ignorance. How could anyone deny their mate?

----------------------- 

I just.... I just love orcs so much. soulmate stories ain’t so bad either.

Check out my Archive | Masterlist | Main Blog

#orcs are hot #orc boyfriend #orc x reader #monster boyfriend #exophilia #Enigma-IM #fluff #soulmate #garson

[lairofsentinel]

Do you think Oskar Fevras the artist whom you can buy in any way mirrors Gale? His story reminded me a bit of Gale’s in the whole hung up on your first love thing

Hello there!

Let me explain you how I understand Oskar Fevras. I think that may be an important key to see what I'm going to be concluding.

Oskar has the pretence of being a noble, and likes too much wealth and fame. His patron is his betrothed: Lady Jannath. The Jannath are a  family of wealthy mine-owners in BG, who, according to the Main Char's "gossip" knowledge, have been passing through a scandal when they realised that Oskar was a commoner. Apparently Oskar is known as the runaway groom for this.

I'm not so sure to believe that the problem in all his drama is his commoner past. But he doesn't clarify it in a very explicit way. We only have this information from the narrator and it's like a "rumour", something you picked in the air in the city's gossip, so it can be slightly different.

He clarifies that the date of the marriage was never set... but clearly the intention was there. What happened? "Complications", he adds.

Oskar tells you that before his fame as a painter and his affair with Lady Jannath, there was another woman he wanted to spend his life with [which make me assume he was with her until the last moment of the proposal] but when he was offered marriage with Lady Jannath, who gave him a better future because her wealth, he thought "important to tell her about his past".

These lines are a bit inconsistent in their logic, no? You love a woman you want to marry, but then another one very wealthy, asks you marriage and you consider to tell her "you are a commoner" [if we assume the rumour is true].... There is no much connection with the concepts... unless Oskar is saying other thing in his vague way of explaining this story.

In my opinion, he is saying:

I was with this woman I wanted to spend my life with. But on the other hand, I wanted to be famous and wealthy, so I started a serious afair with a person who would support my art: Lady Jannath [it's implied he became her lover without never telling her he was with the first woman]. All was done in order to have fame and wealth. Then Lady Jannath proposes him marriage, and he considers it's reasonable to tell her about "his past" [his past as in, there is another woman, there was always another woman]. This scandal triggered, and because we are talking about a noble family in BG, we know they can control rumours, so they preferred to make it about his "commoner" past instead of his double-cheating.

When he explained his past to Lady Jannath, he was "forced" to escape and think about who to "choose". He doesn't know yet. "Fame and wealth suit me very well." But when he thinks in his first love... he hesitates. He says all this with a very light tone, yet, he makes of this a big dilemma, almost a performance of drama: to choose between true love or wealth to develop his skills.

I may have taken all this a bit more serious if it weren't for the last line he says. If something I've learnt by reading a lot of books of narrative and how to write narratives, is that professionals don't put useless lines in the character's mouths to be wasted. They have meaning.

When the rescue is finally done, he asks for money to fight the "discomfort of the road", and, unless this has been changed in this last patch [I don't play BG3 since patch 2 or 3] he says something that makes you understand that he is going to spend this money in alcohol [he says something along the lines "well, I should endure the road sober then"]. So this last bit showed us that he is not really a very trustworthy person, he hides the truth just to take some extra benefit of the situation [we don't see a real struggle in all this, more like a performance of a struggle].

It's true the situation is a bit vague and this interpretation may be wrong, but Oskar is not exactly an honest char. He has his love for over-dramatisation and present himself as the victim in situations that are not thaaaaat bad.

Now, how all this is similar to Gale? I'm afraid I don't see much similarity, sorry. You can stretch things a lot to make Lady Jannath to look like Mystra [Mystra is the one who gave Gale the deepest connection with the Weave, which is something that brings him joy and sense in life to Gale. She is a kind of "patron" for Gale? It's too stretched, Mystra is a goddess of particular behaviour in her lore] ... but you also can connect her with the first woman by using the weak link of "being Gale's first love". Where the Main Character fits in all this analogy? How all this situation has a relationship with Gale, his abandonment issues caused by a powerful, immense entity as Mystra, and how he made dire mistakes to get her attention again, like all devotees do in this crazy Faerûn? I don't see it, sorry. Gale's first love was Mystra, the most powerful goddess of the pantheon of Faerûn. Oscar's first love was a mortal woman. I'm afraid I can't see much to relate there beyond the fact that "people have first loves" that imprint a strong effect in a person's life [which is true for almost all humans in real life].

I'm not sure if maybe this question is motivated by all those terrible takes that Gale receives in this fandom. I think a lot of people have serious problems with the fact that Gale has an ex. For this, people are a mixture of being offended by that and also treat the party scene as if it were a "big" revelation, which is not?. Sure, he has an ex that inspires him complicated emotions but it's clear he wants to get rid of that event and move on.

Gale never plays two sides. He is always very clear about the fact of having secrets, about his boundaries [another thing that the fandom doesn’t forgive him], and how complicated is for him to speak about Mystra. If you get nice rolls, you can even tell Gale that he is dreaming with Mystra [like, the game makes you AWARE of it XD]... And he also tells you that the tadpole dreams are about power and desire... I mean, if the guy says that, and then dreams with Mystra....why some people are offended/surprised after the party!??? haha. The biggest mystery in this fandom.

Sure, the scene is not handled in the best ways, there are some weird lines, everything looks so high-school cheap drama. I get that... I don't know, we have to blame it for being Early Access and for Gale not being Larian's fave.  But well... Gale has an ex. It's a fact, and one can know that very early if the fucking game couldn't be soooooo shitty bugged with his char.

Here is one of my videos [very old patch as you can see] where we can see the second dream: He says "These dreams are about desire", I pick the option of Mystra. "Yes, I dream with Mystra". You know by your own dreams that these dreams are very sexual in general... So, conclusion? Gale has an ex.

Oskar is playing with two women at the same time in the worst case scenario. In the best one, he abandoned his first love to follow wealth. Her first love [that, let's be honest, how much he loved her that he had no problem to cheat on/abandon when it comes to fame and wealth?] was put aside in favour of this noble. Then he leaves the noble one because he is unable to choose. He was the one who abandoned [or cheated, we can't say completely because it's vague] two women, not the other way around... Plus, to make things even more different, there is this small detail that the fandom always seems to be blind about because most of them only know Dragon Age lore: Mystra is the most powerful goddess in the damn pantheon xD Gale was a plaything in her grasp [this is the worst case scenario; I have a secondary interpretation, more kind to her, focused on Mystra's point of view]. But there is something very strong here that make these comparison too out of any frame to compare: She is not a normal woman... her power is not even compared with Jannath's. She is a Goddess.

So, in short: I'm afraid I don't see much in common. XD I mean, everyone has exes, every person with some age has a past even in Faerûn. Sure, this is Faerûn, so exes can go wild, I get it. XD And having exes is not always a "finished business" [specially when that comes with abandonment issues], but more like a WIP: something to deal with unresolved emotions from past partners that you want to move on, and sometimes a new partner may help you [or make everything worse]. I always read Gale that way.

Thanks for the ask!

[luobingmeis]

I think Undyne's determination has less to do with like something that happened in the past and more like the overlap between determination as an actual physical thing VS a spiritual thing. Whereas the amalgamates were injected with determination by Alphys, Undyne makes her OWN. You've killed her best friend. You're going to kill the love of her life. You're going to kill her mentor. You're going to kill everyone. You've killed HER. But she still has to stop you. Everyone is counting on her 1/2

Undyne's whole motif is letting the monsters of the Underground achieve their hopes and dreams. Theres a reason she is the boss fight in Waterfall, the most backstory rich area in the game. Hope and dreams have just as much weight as determination does, its what helps you defeat Asriel. And Undyne the Undying's design mimics Asriel's because in Genocide SHE is the heroine, SHE is the determined hero that defies death in order to save everyone she loves via the hopes and dreams of everyone (2/2)

Sorry I just really fucking love Undyne Undertale fhfhfndkdk she willingly letting herself be used in an experiment to help her people is Very Good tho too hmmmm

!!!!

sorry ur abt to get a whole essay i love undertale so much.........

(also i use a lot of !!! for emphasis, not bc i’m yelling omg)

(also i’m letting you know this is an incoherent mess, it is 2am here akjsdkjsdjk)

but you can definitely be right!!!! tbh your idea seems much more par for the course than the spaghetti im throwing at the wall

even then, though, it’s stll so interesting bc like!!!! undyne’s courage is undeniable, and her fight to protect the underground plays Such a huge role in her whole waterfall arc. and, in the spiritual sense, she is absolutely determined!! that just makes me WONDER though bc, like, canonically, monsters Are Not determined! they don’t have that threshold!

and then, in looking at determination in the spiritual sense, what exactly makes undyne different? is it that her desire to live and protect the underground unlocks that threshold needed for determination? at one point, could monsters be determined, but then their millennia trapped underground biologically/psychologically stripped them of that? so then could any monster in the underground, when facing high enough stakes, have that determination? or is it just undyne?

bc then i think about the other bosses in either route, like papyrus, mettaton, asgore, sans. where undyne is the monster/boss capable of possessing determination, sans is probably the one least likely to have any threshold for determination (this is bc his entire boss fight is him realizing he can no longer be an observer, he is literally the last line of defense between chara and the annihilation of all monsters). mettaton is complicated bc as a napstablook turned corporeal, i dont even know where to BEGIN with him. but then there’s papyrus and!! it feels like he should be capable of feeling determined. in both the pacifist and genocide route, he is so assured that the human has some internal goodness. while, in the genocide route, that hope could be translated to fear, that still makes me wonder: under what circumstances could a monster’s determination be unlocked? is it not solely life or death? does it require some ulterior motives (aka undyne’s whole character being protecting the underground)? and like!!! it’s just so fun to think about bc, say it is undyne’s spiritual determination being unlocked, it’s so interesting that she’s the one differentiated!! that even papyrus, a character brimming with good and happiness and love, doesn’t have that determination, but undyne, who has a similar type of passion and goodness within her, does!!!

with experiment undyne, i will admit my theory is very much uhh wild! and unhinged! and, while my theory is much more playing in the “what if’s” of the science of artificial determination, it still makes me wonder! especially in the boss fight herself. ever since i first saw her genocide boss fight, i’ve always been a bit fixated on her eye, specifically the one w/ the eye-patch that eventually seems to have Some type of arrow power. while this definitely could have just been A Design Choice (and one i stand by!!), undertale is a game that reveals its complete lore when the pacifist and genocide route are put together. thus, in a hypothetical situation, i don’t think it would be out of the question that undyne’s eye could still Do that even in a pacifist route.

but even then, there are holes to poke! such as why doesn’t she use it? if undyne has been injected with artificial determination, why is she, frankly, normal until it’s a matter of life and death?

(to cut to the punchline before i get into my bullshit: i think it’s bc, at first, it seemed as if the artificial determination just Didn’t Work and had no affect, when in reality it needed to be met with spiritual determination as well)

and, again, i know i’m playing with a lot of hypotheticals right now, and mostly this is me just kinda fun bullshit theorizing, but i think it could have something to do with the fact that she has the threshold for spiritual determination! the reason i even think that she would offer herself up to determination experimentation is bc of the loyalty and love she has for asgore and the underground. i would argue that she is just as invested in asgore’s plan as asgore himself is, and she obviously sees him as some type of father-figure. so that alone gives her this Drive to do whatever it takes for the underground to survive.

so, therefore, i think in regards to this hypothetical experiment undyne, i think it quite literally is that spiritual determination threshold combined with artificial determination

and for that, i quickly want to talk abt the amalgamates and why they tie into this:

the timeline: corpses/souls injected with determination --> no reaction --> corpses wake up and act normal --> ??? happens  --> (quickly leads to) amalgamates

and so then that once again raises the question: what differentiates undyne? 

i think, for that, we then have to consider another question: if most monsters do not have the physical determination to continue living after death, can that determination be given when they’re already dead? monsters in general already have no threshold for determination, so can that be artificially made if it never existed in the first place? 

bc while alphys’s experiment, iirc, was to see what happened when a soul was injected with determination, i think the other much needed question is if monster souls could even Handle determination

and, while we do not know specifically what went wrong with the amalgamates (aka like How did they melt together), we do know that their physical forms really were not able to handle the artificial determination, imo most likely bc they do not even have a threshold for spiritual determination

but undyne is, as you have noted, different!

so, frankly, i think you’re right! i think undyne does have an inherent spiritual determination. it’s uncommon in monsters, but her want to save the world is enough to leave her determined

however, i think That would have just been enough to keep her alive

i think it’s artificial determination that gave her that final form! to reference  back to the amalgamates, they were all creatures whose powers we had seen before, but different now and, specifically, more powerful. that very same thing could be said for undyne! her powers are, essentially, things we have seen before, but fucking to Max Intensity 

AND THEN!! AND THEN!!!!!

when you do kill heroine undyne, she doesn’t turn to dust first

she melts first, and then turns to dust!!!!!

and, honestly, it’s that small detail that sent me down this rabbit hole, bc the only ever time we’ve seen monsters melted together are the amalgamates!

i think the main difference between heroine undyne and the amalgamates is the fact that undyne, at first, had No Reaction to the determination at first bc, since she most likely already had this secret threshold for spiritual determination, it wasn’t the Biggest of changes. it wouldn’t have had such a drastic reaction on her physical form bc, even if she didn’t know it yet, it wasn’t an entirely foreign substance

the amalgamates, however, aka monsters who had no spiritual determination, could only handle the artificial determination for an unknown amount of time before their bodies began rejecting the chemicals and becoming..... that

of course, then, this leaves me with even more questions, such as could undyne sustain this final form? would her body eventually give out, overcome by determination? was this form only meant for life or death situations?

and uhhh i think this is the end!! if you made it this far and are thinking to urself “damn you’re really an english major when you write like this?? this isn’t even comprehensible” do not fret!! i know this theory is kinda a shitshow, and it’s one of those things where i can keep myself up all night thinking abt this and talking myself in circles bc there are some points that i think have strengths and other points that are probably pretty weak

basically though!! i see the connection between artificial determination and undyne through the fact that her form actually changes, the reveal of her legit power eye, the way her attacks have been altered, and the fact that she melts at the end (akin to the amalgamates’ appearances) before poofing into dust

this has been,,,, a shitshow i am so sorry i hope this was at least somewhat understandable ajkdsjkdsjk

#this is why i cant talk abt undertale past 9pm #bc then my brain just goes brrrr as i write bullshit for 40 minutes #answered #ember360