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blossomthepinkbunny · 8 days

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Vivzepop will always be the biggest issue with her own show if she doesn't change. And i'm not saying that because I desperately want to shit on her but rather because it's so clear that her attitude is what made Hazbin Hotel be so dissapointing after the long wait. The pilot released four years ago and Viv had these characters for much longer than that. One could assume that with this much time on her hands she would have a concise plan for how a series of her story would play out (I can imagine that having an own show is a dream for lots of creative people out there). And I get that that plan might get screwed up by a shorter episode count then expected, but she should be the one who knows her story best and who should know what stuff could also be cut out. The first season of Hazbin Hotel is so incredibly overstuffed with characters and plot that it completely looses the main premise the show was originally pitched with (the idea of a hotel were sinners are redeemed. As it is now the hotel is really not important at all). People have talked endlessly about how Viv can't handle criticism and it really sucks because criticism is one of the best ways to improve your writing, drawings, music etc. Without criticism you won't refine the thing you're working on in a meaningful way. Of course it feels bad when you put something out there you wanted to share and then people critique it, but that's part of pretty much every creative journey, or atleast it should be and Vivzepop shouldn't get a pass from this just because she doesn't like it. And there are great shows, movies or books that are rarely or almost never criticised. But the artists behind these works probably went trough years of honing what they do by being criticised for the stuff they put out. And I don't want to say that Vivzepop didn't work hard to make Hazbin Hotel, but it is hard to claim that she improves in her craft, when everytime someone says they don't like her show she throws a hissy fit. She wants the same reactions that these other amazing pieces of media get without ever listening to criticism. Which she sees as a personal attack rather than a tool that could help her to achieve the same level of writing prowess the creators behind media like that have. She believes she is already on the same level as them, just because she basically shuts anyone out who disagrees with her. There's this clip at the end of a Drew Gooden Video which I think sums up the situation with Viv pretty good (the Video is called "Leaving the YouTube Bubble"). He is talking about Lily Singh and her talk show but I feel like a lot of the stuff he says about handling criticism applies to Vivzepop as well.

(you might have to turn up the audio).

Unprofessional behaviour like that might be excusable when the creator is pretty young or they are interacting with publicity for the first time really. But neither of that applies to Viv. And Hazbin Hotel isn't just an indie animation pilot on youtube anymore. It's now a fully realized show created with a pretty prominent studio on a major streaming network and it should be held to the same standards as other shows or movies alike (not saying indie animation or animation on youtube doesn't have a standard but with more budget and support, there's obviously going to be different expectations for the show now). There have been issues in Helluva Boss and the Hazbin Hotel pilot ever since their release which could've been handled with more time and the new show. But Vivzepop shows time and time again that she isn't willing to listen to people who criticise her, which could actually lead to her show getting better. I don't like Viv or her work a lot. I think she is incredibly unprofessional and she has done her fair share of questionable or problematic stuff, which often leads to issues in her shows. There have been some characters I like, some songs or scenes that were pretty well done, very cool animation and an actually interesting premise on paper in HH and HB. There are things that make me come back to these shows to watch the next episode. And i'm obviously passionate enough about these shows to make whole posts about what I think was done badly and what could be changed. But for the aspects of HH or HB I enjoy, there are soo many more problems I have with it. Problems that won't go away unless Viv stops seeing every criticism as a personal attack. Because if Vivzepop doesn't stop acting like her writing is some unreachable stuff that needs no changes I don't really see a point in assuming that these shows will ever get better.

#vivzepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #i dont support vivziepop

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telvess · 5 months

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Hi bestie 🥺 it’s me!!

Can I request HCs for… Nikola? Like what if he has a fem!reader whose also a werewolf? Bonus points if you add in some cuddling and cute scenes between the two!!

hope ur having a lovely day 💕

Hi, bestie! I’m sorry but I feel I overdid this one! 😭

RoR: Nikola Tesla x werewolf fem!reader

Before you started dating, you tried to hide your little secret so as not to scare Nikola. It was easy at first because the two of you were mostly focused on scientific topics. Knowing how Nikola can lose himself in something that interest him so deeply, you thought that playing on two front would be easy. But then again, Nikola found out about his newest favourite subject - you.

He started asking questions of a more private nature, and you slowly began to get lost in the complex web of lies you had created. Nikola has an excellent memory, so he quickly picks up those tiny details that don't fit into the whole picture.

Once he confronted you, you thought all was lost. Part of you felt relieved that it was finally over because lying to someone you genuinely liked was exhausting and depressing.

So you finally told the truth, and Nikola - much to your great surprise - didn’t freak out, but made a face as if he was facing a complicated mathematical equation. — Hmm… — he muttered, massaging his own chin with his finger — Does it happen as the legends say? Only during the full moon? Or perhaps something else activates it? — he asked, you didn’t notice any sign of concerns in his eyes or voice. You blinked a few times before gathering your thoughts together. — You… serious? — you said in shock — How can you be so calm? He just shrugged, but he couldn’t hold his neutral expression any longer and soon a smile broke out on his face. You were sure his eyes were sparkling. — I’ve never met a werewolf before! How exciting!

Indeed, how exciting… At first you thought it was a joke, then his fascination with your ailment amused you and before you knew, you were just giggling as you heard him discuss with you various methods of taming your furry self. Nikola’s scientific approach to the issue was refreshing, to say the least.

Once you two started dating, Nikola insists on helping you with transformation. You’re against it, worried that you might hurt him, because you have no control over the wolf inside you. But once Tesla decides to do something, there is no way to talk him out of it. He presents you the capsule he had built to keep you in check during the full moon. He explains he could also monitor your vital signs to better understand your condition.

He talks about your thing with Edison without consulting it with you first (because he needs a consultations to his capsule!), which leads to a fight.

You were so frightened that your secret will be revealed to everyone you know, that anger had clouded your common sense. — HOW COULD YOU?!!! — you yelled at Nikola much louder than you intended to. Your voice echoed off the walls and once it finally died down, the silence that followed told you that you had gone too far. After a moment, you came to your senses, feeling an unpleasant feeling of anxiety in your chest that was growing cruelly by the second. Nikola’s face didn’t move at all. — I… — you didn’t know what to say, because even if you should apologize, you still felt betrayed — I just… They won’t accept me, if they find out the truth… Nikola frowned. — I shouldn’t have screamed… — you muttered, fighting with yourself to not start crying. You couldn’t stand his harsh gaze so you lowered your eyes. — Won’t accept you because you’re werewolf? — he repeated after you in a calm voice — No! Non! Nem! Nein! Nikola stepped closer, forcing you to look at him. — There’s no summand without sum. There’s no you without your ailment. Only weak minds cannot accept it and those aren’t valuable to you! He was full of determination, as if you were one of his great discoveries. Maybe that’s exactly what he thought of you, but you were too worried to realize it before? — Oh… — you just said as his words left you speechless.

Yes, some weak minds do not accept you, but you bear it very well. Nikola supports you through it all, mostly by talking about his latest ideas, which takes your mind off stress.

Of course, sometimes you have to accept the fact that he needs solitude. A scientist’s thing. Sometimes it may be days or even weeks, but even if Nikola is so focused on his inventions, he will not miss any of your transformations.

There are times when you wish you were normal, because Nikola asks way too many questions at once to the point that you start to think that you are not his girlfriend but a newly discovered anomaly that he is studying. You’re already moody because of upcoming full moon, so frustration grows inside you very quickly. You have to loudly announce that this is a bad time to satisfy his curiosity, otherwise Nikola probably wouldn’t notice your irritation.

During your transformation (technically some time right before you turn into a werewolf and lose control of yourself), while you’re in the capsule, you talk with Nikola via tablets about anything that doesn't revolve around your ailment. He entertains you with small anecdotes, rebuses and logical puzzles.

After transformation, when you’re exhausted and can do nothing else but rest, Nikola brings you everything you need. He makes sure you’re hydrated and fed. If you resist, he would bring up a whole presentation of what will happen to your body if you don't start drinking and eating.

You two were sitting on the couch under a blanket, in front of Nikola’s huge blackboard filled with many mathematical operations. — Did you know that chocolate releases endorphins into the brain, which reduce stress and pain? - Nikola asked after finishing the chocolate yogurt. — No — you replied with full mouth — But thank you very much for the extra excuse to eat more of it. — I noticed that it had a very positive impact on your mood before and after the transformation. You smiled, hearing his sweet theory. How adorable he was. — Nikola, I’ve been eating chocolate my entire life — you said — That’s not what makes me holding myself together lately… You took another spoon as you watched Nikola frown. He looked through his notes again, trying to find another explanation for your improvement. It was your giggle that brought him out of his thoughts. — It’s you, dummy! — you said with a wide smile. — Me? — Yes, you. You are the reason I’m doing so much better. You help with everything, you’re my stress relief thing — you explained, feeling how your cheeks grow warm. Nikola was staring at you in silence. Then he returned to his notes, closed them and placed them on the table next to the couch. — I had no idea I had such an impact on you… But your observations are correct: the support of la over should bring such results. Of course, chocolate doesn’t… Why are you blushing, y/n? Are you okay? — he looked at you confused. — Y-yes, I am. It’s just… you’ve never called me your lover before. Nikola blinked. — Oh, I see. Was that inappropriate? I suppose I should use the term girlfriend — he said without a trace of embarrassment. If you hadn't finished your chocolate yogurt before, you'd probably spit it out now. You watched as an unaware Nikola covered you with a blanket and then walked over to the blackboard to continue studying. His back looked very good in his grey suit. The sight and the words he just said made you stand up and walk closer to him. You wrapped your arms around him and placed your head on his back. Nikola shuddered; he was probably already in his own world of numbers and inventions. — You know… maybe I shouldn’t say this but I’m in love with you — you mumbled into his back. — I know. — You do? — Yes. Your voice changes when you speak to me. That one of psychical symptoms of falling in love — you’ve heard his dry explanation. — Oh — you tensed, feeling disappointment building in your chest. You should’ve listen to the voice inside you that told you not to say it so fast… — I love you too, dear. Nikola turned to you and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. — Now please, get some rest.

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #ror x reader #snv x reader #ror nikola tesla #ror tesla x reader #snv nikola tesla #snv x y/n #udj

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anniesstories · 1 year

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How they behave when they're your boyfriend?

Tokyo Revengers boys (Mikey, Draken, Kazutora, Baji)

Warnings: None, just some cute headcanons:3

Mikey

At first you thought Manjiro was .... very rude, disrespectful and ruthless since he is the leader of Toman but damn you was wrong, he's so sweet and kind and he makes you feel like you're the only woman on earth.

He'll probably ask you for advices about his gang, plz guide this dude when he needs you sometimes

He loves buying you little gifts just for you to know that he is thinking about you 24/7.

He's loyal af, whenever a chick is trying to flirt or anything he'll be so uninterested....

Loves cuddles. Long ones specially. Since he's been thinking about his gang, he never had time for girls...so he's touched starved, trust me .

I feel like he'd joke about your height if you're taller than him...I mean he's 5'3, ty google for your help, we know he's 1.62 cm (jokes like "what's the weather up there") 😭

He would talk about how pretty you are 24/7...

He's such a good bf, don't leave him plz

Draken

Even though he looks dangerous he's a gentleman around you.

He doesn't know much about romance, but he's trying so hard to understand you....plz give him time.

Overprotective.

He tries to teach you how to fight just in case you will need, he just wants to make sure your safe even if he isn't around you.

Kisses under the moonlight! KISSES UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. He loves them, trust me

You think he's weird because he enjoys violence, but you still love him sm.

When you two argue about something, he will wait for you to calm down so he can apologize ....

He's jealous....very jealous...and sometimes he can be toxic tho

Night walks with him are >>>>> like you can finally feel safe walking when the sun's down.

Kazutora

He spent YEARS in jail, so you can't tell me that this man isn't touched starved.

You are the only person who can give him comfort bc he has mommy+trust issues

He has 0 experience when it comes to relationships but he'll still try his best to show you that he cares .

Mommy issues boy, he'll obviously call you mommy ....not in a sexual way or anything...

His childhood was a mess and the crimes he committed are still haunting him, so hold him close when the night comes.

He's too shy to make the first move...ig you have to make it....

Buys you flowers whenever he has a chance

Gentle and overprotective....and he gets jealous pretty fast bc of his insecurities.

The healthy relationship can turn into a toxic one pretty easy and he'll feel devastated....like you have no idea how much he loves you...

Loyal af bc he thinks about you 24/7...

He'll use your chest as a pillow bc he feels safe plz don't forget to watch a movie or sum...he loves these moments fr

Baji

Rude af but dw he still loves you.

He's overprotective and jealous afff

The relationship can be a toxic one...but he'll try his best to solve the problems you both have🥺

Princess treatment...no, queen treatment, he'll treat you like he's a bodyguard and you're the queen he has to protect.

It's so cute when he lets you tie his soft hair...he loves it but can't admit it...

When he's in a good mood, i feel like he will act kinda goofy...he loves seeing you smile but he will never admit it...

He doesn't want you to see him fighting, he's afraid you might fear him, so he'll just let you take care of his wounds.

He wins EVERY SINGLE ARGUMENT.

He's such a good stalker.

I just finished Tokyo Revengers season 1 and I was thinking about some headcannons... I hope you like it :)

cyaaa<3

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev headcanons #kazutora headcanons #baji headcanons #mikey hcs #draken #female reader

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beanghostprincess · 4 months

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I don't know why, but I think Usopp, of all people, might smell gorgeous despite the fact of him being a pirate. Maybe it's those long, luscious, beautiful curly hair of his, or maybe it's just an impression given by the fact that he's not canonically that dirty, but my brain only understands simple things, so -- > long hair + not that smelly = smells pretty effing good. And...I don't even think it would be one of those artificial, chemical smells? Like, I don't think he would wear perfume or such [that's more a Sanji thing, which is not bad, but not exactly Usopp].

It's just. His hair products. Natural scented products, that is. Sweet notes of coconut and vanilla, with a little tangy switch given by muted notes of lemon.

Also, a white soap user. I stand by this. 'Cause it makes sense: I think that being a generally very cheap product, he grew up using white soap to clean himself. Simply put, I think the comforting smell of the soap would remind him of his childhood, his village, his mother, and his friends. Also, Kaya is a white soap user, confirmed [she told me].

His clothes are also clean and smell very homey and cozy. And did I mention that probably his skin looks great too? Maybe not, but that's an argument for another day.

This, being a Usopp headcanon, obviously contains lots of Sanuso headcanons.

Because yes, Sanji is enamored of his trèsor's smell. He wouldn't get enough of it in a single day, in a single span of 24 hours. Like, a day it's too little, and I think Sanji would go a bit insane if he didn't get a whiff of his boyfriend's gorgeous smell every once in a while. Because. His boyfriend is his safe place, so his boyfriend's smell would bring him comfort [this considered, WCI would've been absolute hell to him]. Also, I think Sanji is pretty sensitive to scents in general, so Usopp's warm and sweet fragrance makes him feel at home [Zoro being a hater would not have time for this at all].

And don't get me started with Usopp's resident bestest of friends and certified cuddle buddy [Luffy]: you just know that this menace with abandonment issues [affectionate] would claim his Usopp cuddles every now and then. I also think that after the whole Water 7 ordeal, their cuddle session would've been extensive, because Luffy just "missed Usopp and his smell so much". Even Chopper is smitten with his smell! Small, smell-sensitive Chopper!

Nami would love it, too! Hell, even Zoro would appreciate it [more for the fact that it's Usopp we're talking about, and Zoro would not hate a single little thing about him. Except his taste in man, but that's for another day].

So yeah, to sum up this random headcanon, Usopp is gorgeous has a gorgeous smell, and is the crew safe place.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. So much. Usopp looks like somebody who smells so good. Like flowers and wood. No doubt. He takes so much care of his hair and hygiene that it's kind of surprising that he's a pirate, honestly. Although what did you expect from somebody as anxious as him? I'm sure he's worried about this 24/7. And besides, being Sanji's boyfriend he's legally obligated to smell good because I think Sanji would be very sensitive so scents (as you said. Because it's true. I often mention this on my fics, actually).

Kaya and Usopp took care of each other in a ver intimate way!! Showered together. Shared hair products. Did each other's hair. When Usopp joins the crew, he still takes care of his hair and his image but it's mostly out of routine and love for Kaya more than anything. Besies, he loves taking care of his hair because it reminds him of his parents and the way they loved his hair so much too!! Always said it was the best part of him.

And yay!!!!!!!! Sanuso!!!!!!

Sanji absolutely loves Usopp's scent. He smells like flowers and Nami's tangerines and wood and paint and crayons. Idk how to explain it, but he smells like art and home and Sanji can still somehow smell the Merry on him. Poetic little gays. They miss their daughter. Every time Sanji is feeling anxious or just misses his boyfriend, he will go to Usopp and hug him and place his head on the crook of Usopp's neck. And he just kisses his shoulders and skin there and smells his hair for a while. When they go to sleep together and it's Sanji's turn to be the little spoon (happens most of the time, though) he will either turn around to be able to smell Usopp properly or he will just bring Usopp's hands closer to his lips while they sleep. They're the clingiest thing on earth.

Headcanon that after WCI, Sanji's sense of smell is a bit fucked up. The whole place was full of sweets everywhere and everything smelled like chocolate and strong tooth-rooting food. Sanji has a hard time smelling things again that don't remind him of that. He stops baking sweets for a while, too. So he starts reaching out for Usopp more to drown in his scent whenever the memories of WCI are too strong. He spent a long time without being able to be with his precious boyfriend and the only scent that calmed him down. Thinking about Usopp giving Sanji his bandana when they part ways in Dressrosa and keeping it throughout WCI and smelling it whenever he wants to remember how home feels like.

Luffy and Nami also enjoy Usopp's scent but that's because they're the ones who cuddle with him the most when he's free from the hands of his boyfriend. They're,,, So sweet. And Zoro likes being around him also because of that but, you know, it's Zoro and Usopp, they like being together either way.

To sum up the whole thing, Usopp is the most gorgeous man on earth and he smells like a dream.

#love of my life istg #can you tell i absolutely love usopp and everything about him #aghhh thinking about clingy sanuso always makes me soft #and nami and usopp cuddling going insane #one piece #usopp #black leg sanji #sanuso #monkey d. luffy #east blue crew #strawhat pirates

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dumping-ideas · 1 year

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A little tidbit about this year's April Fools (my JP isn't that good though so there's probably some misinfo):

Mikudemy is a prestigious music school known all over the world, and just recently(?) open a Shibuya branch

they learn about music, but there are also classes about art and video making, also normal school subject stuff

one of the subject is idol history

there's a choir competition(?) in fall, but apparently they need to perform with an instrument, Rui plays an udo drum

the graduation exam(?) is top secret and only be told on the day of exam

Each group gets admitted to school in different ways:

Leo/Need normally gets an invitation letter, but with an additional letter that they might get "something special" from the school.

MMJ is invited to the school through MMJ!Miku, who might/might not have an acquaintance at that school (Mikudayo)

VBS got a challenge letter alongside their invitation letter from someone unknown (hinted to be VBS Miku with help from Mikudayo).

WxS helped Mikudayo who got her foot stuck in a ditch(?), so she personally invited them to school.

25 got in through 25 Miku's acquaintance who invited her to the school (Mikudayo)

WxS!Kaito is actually worried whether it's okay for him to be a student, but VBS!Meiko(or is it alongside L/N!Luka?) assured him that it's fun to be closer to the kids.

They're divided into 4 class, which is said to suit them the best:

Cautious Heart: Honami, Haruka, Kohane, Tsukasa, Mafuyu, L/N!Luka, VBS!Meiko

Haruka commented that their class should be called the Brave Class because of Kohane and Honami

Haruka calls VBS!Meiko as Mei-chan so Honami can call L/N!Luka by Luka-chan

Tsukasa thought that L/N!Luka is a doppelganger, before Luka said that she knows 4 people with the same name and face as hers.

(Also I thought Tsukasa called Mafuyu as Asahina, but apparently it's Asahina-san, I'm totally right about Tenma-kun though so yay!)

When they talked about graduation, Tsukasa and Mafuyu assured Haruka, Kohane, and Honami that because everyone in the class is taking lessons seriously, they should be okay. Mafuyu said that it's probably Dayo-sensei that issued the challenge letter, and Tsukasa agree because Akito and An would definitely take that challenge.

Tsukasa summing up their conversation with they should spend the remaining days until graduation confidently, and the four of them answered him. Tsukasa naturally takes the leader spot again lol

Passion Heart: Saki, Minori, An, Rui, Mizuki, MMJ!Rin, VBS!Len

Rui said that the name both suit them and not, but Mizuki said that it definitely suits the Rui now.

Apparently Saki also has her Tsukasa style introduction lol

Mizuki and Rui think it's nice that their name is easy to find, but Len and Minori said that it's fun to be able to know who their classmates would be. Rui had a monologue that he didn't care about it before because nothing would change every school year, but now it's different

Solid Heart: Shiho, Airi, Akito, Nene, Ena, WxS!Kaito

Akito thinks that their class' name is lousy, he's kinda pissed that Ena is in the same class as him (Shiho agreed that she also didn't want to be in the same class as Shizuku www)

Ena is surprised to meet WxS!Kaito lol, saying that 25!Kaito always have an annoyed face(?) and prickly. WxS!Kaito basically said the same thing as L/N!Luka iirc

Nene thinks that Shiho and Ena sings very well

Airi says that Akito (who's watching Ena's interaction with Shiho and Nene) might find it weird to see Ena acting like a big sister

Pure Heart (protag 25!Miku class): Ichika, Shizuku, Toya, Emu, Kanade, 25!Miku

Not much is known about Pure Heart class (somehow I haven't got any of their area convo after the class division, so this class story might progress during the day until the end of April Fool).

Emu immediately befriended 25!Miku (there's a cute animation of Emu running to 25!Miku and Kanade)

There's also small plot about a sport(?) fes:

Each Miku helps the class in preparing for the sport class (VBS!Miku helps Solid Heart, L/N!Miku should be helping Cautious Heart but they don't really need the help, MMJ!Miku should be helping Passion Heart but they also don't need the help... by elimination, WxS!Miku should be helping Pure Heart class)

Soccer Baseball: Saki & Mizuki (Saki never plays it before even in grade school), Tsukasa & Honami (Tsukasa thought that Honami seemed like she's good at it lol), Akito

Table tennis: WxS!Kaito & Shiho & Airi, Kohane & L/N!Luka, MMJ!Rin,

Basketball: Mafuyu & Haruka, An (she challenges Haruka for a match)

Undecided: Rui

Cooking(?): Meiko

Round and round bat (the one where you spin around a bat and then run to the goal I think?): Nene & Ena (Akito interrupted their convo lol), Minori (for variety show exp), Kanade

Futsal: VBS!Len

All in all, this year's April Fool is as fun as last year!! And there's a new song!! By 27(?) of them!! I can only hear Tsukasa www

#pjsekai #proseka #project sekai #hatsune miku colorful stage #finally a tsukasa mafuyu interaction lol #i was right that they'll be cordial with each other #mafuyu's thought about tsukasa: it's the first time i met someone this loud www #huh wait what do you mean mafuyu calls rui by kamishiro-san but calls tsukasa tenma-kun??#I also thought that tsukasa would call mafuyu by asahina with no honorifics...#Tsukasa is surprisingly polite...?? And mafuyu calls him with -kun because they're classmates?#Btw is there no one in that class that questions tsukasa's presence in that cautious heart class lol #It kinda feels like the devs plan pure -> solid -> cautious & passion (n they want mafukasa and mizurui to interact w/ each other)#Just like wxs!kaito kinda hints at 25!kaito #Will there be a chance for a mizurui middle school ep and mafukasa finally interacting in canone before next year's april fool...?

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cattailbouquet · 3 months

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TWF 4 Thoughts + Theories

TW: Suicide mention

This is quite long. I had a lot of thoughts.

I loved it! A huge part of what drew me to TWF in the first place was the bigger focus on the human characters, something that stuff like FNAF didn't have as much of at the time. And episode four DELIVERS. Imo, the best horror stories make you care about the victims and/or delight in the villain's terrible antics, and TWF does both super well.

Spoilers Below:

We finally met Charles! Him and Susan are fun to listen to.

Banny continues to be a ladyfailure and smashes into a table.

So apparently the facial recognition has always had an issue w/ Sophie? Huh.

The employee’s seeming disinterest in what's going on is a bit concerning? "I don't want anything to do with it." Charles I've got bad news.

Susan's death/undeath had been depicted several times already, which doesn't take away from what we see here. The Snap? The Breathing?? Those vile squelching noises??? The rabbit may be starving but I’m put off the next several meals.

"bon" was just as spooky as I'd hoped. I, among others, was under the impression that he was a representation of Bon's facial recognition system or A.I., but that doesn't seem to be the case, since we see him approach the robot? You horrible ghost man what is your deal. The happy little hand clasp Bon did after brutally murdering a woman was morbid enough to be hilarious. The scene of him talking to Susan in Wonderland was so eerie and sad.

Felix becomes a bigger slimeball by the second. He's so terrible in such a real way. The fact that he dug a grave for himself and then proceeded to back away from the cliff sums him up perfectly. He's too scared to take that kind of action on his own, but he'll dig a hole and wait to drop dead. Even in this, he will always choose inaction. Everything he does is to try to avoid consequences. He barely spares a second thought for the two little kids who loved him enough to call him "Uncle."

Edd and Molly are super cool. I was kind of expecting them to just hang around being scary and/or sad, but it looks like these two are going to be major players here. Bunnyfarm makes it seem like they're on board w/ the idea of Sophie joining them, but that might've been a misdirection. E+M might be opposed to the idea of becoming "beautiful"? Hydrogen bon vs. coughing babies.

Speculation/Ideas:

Does "bon" purposefully mangle the bodies in an attempt to push them into accepting becoming “beautiful”? Or is it a flaw in the Bon animatronic that “bon” is exploiting? Or both? Their faces don’t fit what the system says, so “bon” spurs the robot into trying to make them fit.

Edd seems weirdly ok with Susan wandering around the purgatory and needs to be nudged into action by Molly. I could see that causing problems later.

I had a feeling that Bon wasn’t Just Possessed By Jack. If it were that simple, Bunnyfarm would’ve been the perfect time to reveal it. If Jack is dead and connected to Bon, then he’s not the one at the wheel. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t dead at all. I have no clue why he would up and leave his family, though.

I could see E+M trying to stall “bon” by playing keep-away with the other victim’s souls, at least initially? They probably wouldn’t be successful with this until later down the line with Brian? Maybe? He’s the only victim who isn’t confirmed to be in an animatronic, nor does he talk about being “beautiful” like the others. We haven’t heard from him since episode one so this could easily change.

What oh what is that under the tarp? The little bedsheet ghost looking thing. A new friend, I hope.

All in all, a beautiful episode. Worth the wait! Can’t wait for 5+6!

#TWF4 #The Walten Files #twf spoilers #TW suicide mention #tw death #The Walten Files Review #twf

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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AITA for retroactively cheating on my partner?

Look, I know the title sounds kinda dumb, but it was kind of the best way I could sum it up. This also might get a little long. I'm just trying to give the context it needs that I feel sorta led me to the decisions I made.

I (22M) went on my first vacation with my partner (25F) last summer. Our vacation was to a relatively local spot not too far out of the city that's decently popular. We'd been dating at that point for around 18 months, though a lot of our dating had been done online cuz of the whole global pandemic thing. When the restrictions started loosening she started getting pushy about me moving in. This caused some tension between us, but it always kind of fizzled out. I still lived with my dad at that point. I'd never moved in with her, since I always wanna be really absolutely sure about these things beforehand, and I'll admit to viewing our week long vacation as sort of a trial run for maybe, one day, taking that step. All of this is just context for the fact that I was really serious about her. It was also the first real adult relationship that I'd been in.

If it was meant to be a trial for moving in, the vacation probably brought to the surface all the issues that I'd had with her. It was seriously a disaster. Our first day was great, but she spent a lot of the next two days taking calls from work and having some "alone time". I was really pissed off on the third day, waking up to ask if she wanted to go swimming, and having her tell me she was up for hours, and if I wanted to go I should've talked to her earlier. I suggested things we could do together, and we did eat lunch together and go to the pool, but she wasn't at all interested in doing anything else with me. After lunch, she sort of disappeared, so I went to the bar myself and considered texting her to join me. I got distracted talking to a guy, and soon enough we were super invested in the conversation together.

For context, I'm probably somewhere on the bi/pan end of things, but I grew up and continued living in a close minded small town. Especially last year, I was very much not out, not comfortable with people seeing me as in any way lgbtq adjacent, and still holding onto a lot more internalised stuff than I was willing to admit to.

This guy (who I'll call R) and I hit it off. We had lots in common, and he was fun to hang around with, and a good listener. I won't lie, I did find him pretty physically attractive, but naturally, it wasn't a huge issue. I've never had a problem being faithful, it's something I value over anything else in a relationship. When I spoke to my girlfriend about him later, she make some teasing remarks towards me about him being my "boyfriend". I was extremely sensitive about this, and snapped at her, to which she called me oversensitive and complained I never understand her jokes. I, being more mean than I should've been, told her she should try being funny, and she just called me misogynistic, which I resented, so I walked out, and came back later when I was sure she was asleep.

The next day, she shut me off completely, which I understood. I apologised, but I appreciated that she needed some space. I ended up meeting R at the pool again. We went for a hike, which took longer than expected, and made it home at dinner, which we got together. He insisted on paying in full, and we had a fun time, walking back to the hotel together. He told me he was leaving that evening, and I offered to help him pack. We got into his room, I helped him pack, we talked, traded socials, and, eventually, just out of the blue, I kissed him. I don't really know why, but it was nothing more than a chaste kiss, and I panicked and left.

The rest of the trip with my girlfriend was mostly us keeping to ourselves, and while we made up, there was definitely an atmosphere. The atmosphere just stayed. We broke up in October, for reasons unrelated directly to the vacation.

However, my issue is that from the vacation to when my gf and I broke up, R and I were dming each other. Objectively,it wasn't anything romantic or sexual, no nudes, nothing like that. We would just talk like we always did. We decided to try out dating in February of this year, and so far, its been great - he's genuinely a brilliant partner, we have far less conflicts, we sort things out quicker, and we generally seem to mesh much better than I did with my ex. But being with him has sort of taught me that what I valued him for when we were just talking is also what I mostly value him for now that we're dating - his good listening, his great sense of humour, the fact he just seems to get me. I could be overthinking things, but I can't shake this weird feeling that while I was with my ex I was somehow having all the trappings of another relationship whilst not indulging in the traditional markers of one. It just doesn't feel right to me. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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azulcrescent · 6 months

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Hi - cis het guy here (just identifying myself, please don't hate me). I don't have much knowledge about this stuff, but I came across your art on reddit. I might not be able to articulate it well, but there is something I wanted to say:

I liked your comic with Lucas and Cynthia.

I thought it did a good job with dealing with their continuing relationship - showing her with someone she already knew and detailing the change in her life. I also liked how positive it was - they are friendly and understanding towards one another. It's refreshing to see a transition story like that and have it end happy, sometimes they end negatively. I also liked how it showed Lucas' perspective on it as well - you don't often see outsider perspectives in such stories. I was concerned that on the second page when she said "do you understand" that if there was any ill will towards Lucas, or that Lucas felt uncomfortable (I don't know how to articulate it well, Cynthia looked a tad peeved and Lucas looked nervous). The two also have a great dynamic with one another, proven in how easily they catch up and just how friendly they are with each other. Another part I thought was interesting was how it dealt with Cynthia before and after college - she is still the same human being, but now expresses herself and as such made that change in her life. I liked the part near the end where Lucas confides about his troubles and Cynthia is responsive, especially after Cynthia confides her experience with Lucas being responsive. They find common ground with each other, building upon their friendship and bond as a result, leading to the ending, which I thought was nice. Throughout the comic, both of them show vulnerability with one another, but accept each other, and to me that was very heartfelt. They opened up with one another in a meaningful way. And of course, the ending (accepting their confessions) was great.

Hopefully nothing I've said offends you or makes me look bad (or that I just wrote an entire miniature essay, or if I've crossed a line by talking about this stuff)(I also don't know if I have anything more to say), I just wanted to show appreciation for your art which I thought dealt with its subject issue well. To sum it up, I liked how it dealt with Cynthia's transition and I really liked the relationship dynamic. The comic was cute and endearing.

...and maybe Cynthia looks cute.

Thanks for letting me know! That oneshot kinda flew under the radar, but I'm glad you like it so thanks for letting me know! And no worries, you're doing great! ^^

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blubushie · 1 month

Note

i'm kinda curious now... what are some of the worst/most ooc takes on the tf2 characters that you've seen 👀👀

I covered this before kinda with my "what does Blu hate about TF2 fanon."

For Sniper. For the rest of the mercs.

To sum it up:

Fandom constantly calling Sniper a Kiwi despite him only being born in Aotearoa and his entire character arc in the comics being "the people who birthed me aren't my real family, the parents who kept and raised me are". The fandom is so fucking weird about immigrants and adoptees. Also people who headcanon him as Aboriginal: I hate you because none of you can even fucking research shit to get it right. If you're Aboriginal and do that you're cool though. Namarnedjare ngudman <3

Twinkified Sniper. He's a sniper and uses a bow, he's going to have strong arms and stronger shoulders, and the comics depict him as lean.

Saying Sniper would smell. None of the fandom understands how important a lack of scent is during hunting, and Sniper is a hunter. Similarly, people headcanoning him as smoking cannabis for this reason. He does shrooms. If he's indulging in some THC that man is eating edibles so the smell doesn't stick to his clothes and skin and hair when he has to hunt.

Sniper being shy. The fandom doesn't understand how dog-eat-dog underground work is. This man would not survive long enough to become a world-renowned assassin if he was shy; also being shy would go completely against his professionalism mantra. He'd do whatever was necessary to get his kill.

Sniper being bothered by the cold. No one in the fandom understands how cold the outback gets during winter. He'd be absolutely fine. Additionally bushmen have to be highly adaptable to survive.

People making Medic evil despite canon pointing to him caring deeply for his team. At most he's chaotic neutral, and his only moment of "manipulation" is when he tricks the literal Devil, which I'm wagering is more than acceptable considering it's literally the Devil. Medic is not your sadistic manipulative monster archetype.

"Demo is abusive/lazy because he's an alcoholic" while ignoring him holding down 3 jobs while being an alcoholic, while ignoring him caring for his mum while being an alcoholic. Just say you hate addicts and go.

Intersex NB Pyro. I've been over it before. As an intersex man, I hate this fucking headcanon so goddamn much.

Infantilising Pyro despite Pyro literally being the CEO of a construction company and bringing in record profits for that quarter. And also being a mercenary PYRO LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM.

People ignoring Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of promoting him as a gay man. I don't mean people saying that Medic was never married to start with and that Demo was talking out his arse, I mean people saying Medic's wife was his beard. The bi erasure is real. People treat bisexuality as a "less pure" variant of gay.

Bigoted Engie.

Communist Heavy (his father was literally murdered by the USSR and his family thrown into a gulag in Siberia because he was a counter-revolutionary).

Evil/arsehole Spy. Also people who take Spy too seriously. This bloke cracks "your mum" jokes and snorts when he laughs. Come on. Spy might take himself seriously but that man is not as serious as he thinks he is.

Bigoted Soldier.

People using the time period as an excuse to be a bigot so they can scream about how bad it is to be a bigot. You're still promoting bigotry. This wouldn't be an issue if racism wasn't a centre/scene in practically every fucking Demo fic. I'm kinda tired of seeing marginalised people be brutalised by a fandom so the fandom can virtue-signal about how bad it is to brutalise marginalised people. Can the characters please have some happiness? Or at least some angst that isn't a constant slew of queerphobia/racism/etc?

#blu whos #tf2 #sniperposting

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a-d-nox · 9 months

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hi! i love your posts about the matrix of destiny, its a really interesting topic and you explain it so well! could you please tell us a bit about the center number and the ones that are beside the heart? thank ypu very much, hope this finds you well ♡

web of wyrd: the relationship number

the number we are focusing on today is based on the TERTIARY KARMIC LESSON NUMBER AND THE FLOW NUMBER (ex: my relationship number is 8: 9 + 17 = 26 -> 2 + 6 = 8 (recall that numbers must be summed a second time if they total 23 (i.e. 2 + 3 = 5) and above)). for some reason this is a calculation error in my astro-calc chart - my monetary number and relationship numbers are swapped (don't be afraid to question your numbers and check the math of websites).

but what does this number mean?

this number represents your romantic partners in this lifetime. all partners that you had / have / will have tend to follow a trend - it can be looks, attitude, their life situation, etc. something about this number indicates the romances you will have. with this number you can see the ideal and the toxic side of your partnerships.

so let's talk about some examples:

8 - strength

click here for the card description of strength found in a prior wyrd web post.

ideal 8 partners are strong and dependable. they are there for you at your lowest point and stay with you despite all things. they help you the best that they can (they often go beyond what you assume they can) given their power and the situation. they will fight for you no matter what is in the way - internal issue (feeling a lack of security or reassurance, etc.) or external ones (physical distance, etc.). they encourage you to do what you want without making you question your capabilities. they make you feel confident about yourself. you won't feel nervous being vulnerable with this partner. your partners are likely to have leo placements.

toxic 8 partners are likely to be flighty - they don't tend to be consistent or dependable. they likely don't comfort you when something is wrong in the connection. they might just abandon you. they might be the type of person to fight you, instead of alongside you. they easily give up in the connection. they might put you down or shame you. they could make you feel apprehensive to leave the connection. they may make you feel weak and uncomfortable with vulnerability.

12 - the hanged man

click here for the card description of the hanged man found in a prior wyrd web post.

ideal 12 partners are open minded. they are patient and willing to see things from your perspective even though they may initially disagree with you. they are curious individuals who usually enjoy doing research and thinking about things very carefully. they are willing to explore things that are outside of their comfort zone and often they are open to mindfully exploring the things you believe in. your partners often have a neptune heavy chart.

toxic 12 partners are constantly complaining about their life circumstances. they often try to go backwards in time or they rush into a future. they might not be the most respectful of your boundaries - they could push you when you aren't ready. they could also lack the ability to stay calm or quiet in any given moment. they could be abrasive and dismiss your thoughts and ideas without much care.

21 - the world

click here for the card description of the world found in a prior wyrd web post.

ideal 21 partners are always ready for the next chapter in life with you. you want to move in - they are ready, and they have options of where you guys can/should live. you want to travel to a new country - they are in. you want to get married - "when? i need to get you a ring and take off from work." they want to be with you, and they will do whatever it takes to make it happen. they celebrate everything you do - you get a promotion, and they are going to take you out for a special dinner. they don't forget your birthday or holidays that are important to you; they do what makes you feel special. they are often very mature and successful. often your partners have a saturn heavy chart, or you meet them later in life.

toxic 21 partners are stagnate in life they aren't go-getters. they are often not ready when it comes to your relationship - they likely will never be if they are stuck in the past or too focused on their future and not the relationship's future. they could also be the type to be in denial that you are done with the relationship; they might continually come back and try to be "friends," or try to convince you that you are both still meant to be together. they also tend to be forgetful about the things that matter most to you.

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic." button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next! if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

click here for the masterlist

click here for more web of wyrd related posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

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afandommultiverse · 1 year

Text

General HC’s for Simon "GHOST" Riley

♱ A/n: don’t get me wrong, I love some good Ghost fluff, but it just feels too OOC for me, so here are my personal head cannons for my hundredth baby daddy🫶 p.s I would just like to mention I still ain’t play the game so my lore isn’t the best but that ain’t stopping me🕺

♱ Warnings: 18+, some nsfw hcs towards the bottom, there is a warning before hand!

⌐╦̵̵̿ᡁ᠊╾━ ♡ ⌐╦̵̵̿ᡁ᠊╾━

♱ this man is fucking mean. He WILL hurt your feelings on occasion, both on purpose and not. He. Does. Not. Give. A. Fuck. Either way.

♱ matter of fact, this mf thinks he is right despite being very VERY in the wrong, and it takes a LOT to get him to admit to being wrong.

♱ STUBBORN AS A OX BRO, his motto is literally “My way or the fucking high way.” No ifs, buts, or in-betweens!!

♱ be prepared to make many, many arguments and still get nowhere on a specific topic. your opinion does not matter for a long time for this man, and takes months of getting around to even thinking about your side of anything.

♱ it would take a long time to get close to this man, like sure he might be down to fuck quite early on, but to be emotionally available in any way other than angrily fucking your brains out is going to take YEARS.

♱ probably isn’t interested in keeping relationships with citizens because he doesn’t want to get wrapped up in his life, lovers, or friends, his position in special forces keeps them all vulnerable

♱ not until recently (being on this new team) does he actually have friends, ghost kept to himself and still does, but after recovering from his betrayal, he would bond with no other teammates and refused to cross any lines with anyone

♱ anger fucking issues- this man has. Like yes, he can control himself in the moment and continue to lead on with the mission, almost acting like your disobedience didn’t even phase him, but OH you better be expecting a whoop-ass reprimanding that will leave you doubting your entire worth and existence

♱ or if a particular enemy is pissing him off, he won’t let his frustrations affect his movements, in fact, it only fuels them, and when he finally gets a hold of em’ there’s nothing left but a bloody pulp of a person

♱ the highest possibility of becoming a friend is being on the team or meeting in a bar when he had been drinking a little bit - both of which you will have to be highly persistent to evoke a reaction

♱ he likes it when people talk to him, which makes him feel less scared and intimidating in public areas. Of course, he likes to keep that vibe when on missions or dealing with interrogations and such, but still out in public. he wants to make people as least uncomfortable as possible, even if his skull baklava is a little intimidating

♱ SPEAKING ON INTERROGATIONS, I know for a fact that this man has committed WAR CRIMES on other men for information, like he totally has it in him to do so, ESPECIALLY, when it’s a a horrible war criminal or sum

♱ he is a metal, heavy metal, grunge, hard rock, kinda guy - don’t deny it. He’s got way too much trauma to not want to blast out his eardrums at every possible chance. He also likes to explore all genres too, like alternative metal, black metal, alternative, alternative rock, etc.

♱ lowkey likes to bond over music, like trading music with the team and talking about it and what they thought when meeting up later.

♱ he likes to sit down and have a cigar with Price every now and then, ofc drinking with him too. They have their own “superiors” moments and talk about how the team is doing and what training could help them for the next mission.

♱ almost always does extra reading and research on the mission itself and/or where it takes place to avoid and map out any possible problems that could arise that no one else would foresee, especially regarding his own benefit nowadays.

♱ ghost likes his job, as much as it has been a lot on him and the people around him, he couldn’t see himself anywhere else than right here, fighting for the rights of people he’d never meet but know are free because of him.

♱ it gives him some peace of mind, and he needs it because the poor baby has been through a LOT

⌐╦̵̵̿ᡁ᠊╾━ ♡ NSFW ♡ ⌐╦̵̵̿ᡁ᠊╾━

♱ come on, you know I had to, but speaking of him going through a lot, he has definitely picked up a few kinks along the way, most of which are from his occupation

♱ coming in at number one, a pretty vanilla thing now I guess, but choking. he loves that shit, both on himself and his partners, he likes the feeling, his senses overwhelmed and everything throbbing, bringing a little oxygen deprivation, and he's all there.

♱ but of course, he also loves the sight of someone underneath him, fucked out and panting, but they can't catch that breath they so desperately need to ground themselves, and while they keep trying to find it, he keeps fucking it out of reach.

♱ second, bondage duh. again something he both enjoys on himself and others. he liked the feeling of the bruises after the deed. It's one hell of a reminder that gets some weird looks, but he doesn't mind, just keeps reminding him of you

♱ thiiiird, knife AND gunplay. now, this takes some serious trust between him and the partner, and truth be told, he usually only did this with male partners he had met through work originally. he loves it, and honestly, nothing gets him going faster, but he has some serious trust issues and can't just go giving everyone he fucks a loaded gun pointed at him

♱ yes, loaded. ‘it ain't fun if it ain't.’ that's what he always says

♱ if it is a one-night stand, he is likely to not put much into aftercare, but if he will see you around a lot, in bed or otherwise, he’ll put more effort into it. This could be cleaning you gently with a wet rag, or softly rubbing your back while you try to catch your breath after he has taken you from behind. He does not cuddle tho, though he ain't a cuddly man the first few sessions, sooner or later that wall comes down and you’ll find yourself tucked into his side when you come too, and he’s just blankly staring out, not trying to think about how well you feel there and how badly he wanted to stay the

♱ but he won’t ever stay the night, again not for a while, and the first time he ever did- it would be an accident. He was simply too tired and rested his eyes for a second, only to wake up the next morning to you rubbing his back as he laid his head on your chest. he acted like he hated it, grunting and pulling away from your touch to rush and get ready to leave. deep down though, he can’t get rid of the feeling of your fingers softly grazing him awake off of his back for the rest of the day.

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shikai-the-storyteller · 1 year

Note

UEUEUEUEUEUEU ILL SEND YOU THIS WHILE WAITING TO SEE BOBBYS STATUS.

Dw idm u answering publicly, I want everyone to be cursed w the thought that Rubius is a babygirl and a very bad one at that <3

Honestly I've only read a few explanations of their lore and bits about their relationship but they seem sooooo,,, /pos. Like they have such a fun and silly dynamic that has this air of toxicity and their loves feels quite self destructive bc rubius is kind of a destructive force of nature of a person who has a tendency to hurt those around him, perhaps as a defense mechanism or perhaps out of simply not understanding there are consequences to the things he does while vegetta is someone far too forgiving, he continues to love rubius despite how much he hurts himself, others, and vegetta himself. I'm not saying cubito rubius is an awful person but from what I've seen he is,,, complex. Difficult despite seeming silly. I could be just completely wrong tho LOL I am doin my best I prommy

ANYWAYS IM CHEERING U ON IN WRITING!!! I'd love to talk to u abt them more and learn more abt rubegetta bc like. Look. Theres no way q!vegetta isnt hung up on that demon idc,,,

I'm likewise waiting for the Eggstatistics (which will probably get posted while I'm in the middle of writing this) (EDIT: IT DID) and you gave me the opportunity to infodump so prepare for an essay LMAO

There are SO many layers to Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship (both romantic and friendship-wise), and that complexity makes them fascinating characters to study. I’ve been discussing this a lot in private lately, but I feel like there’s quite a bit of misinformation / misinterpretations of Rubius and Vegetta’s relationship amongst some of the newer fans who might not know some key components of their personality and their relationship dynamic as a whole (which is understandable since the majority of their lore came from Karmaland, and a lot of newer fans only speak English / only watch QSMP), so ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE:

I think of the two, Rubius definitely gets mischaracterized the most (which, again, maybe isn't too surprising since not everyone watched Karmaland and he hasn't been on the QSMP server too much lately). I could go off on a tangent here and list my frustrations about the people who harassed him for his role / his actions during the Egg event / whining about ships to the point where he decided not to log into the server again ‘til the Egg event is over, but that's ultimately irrelevant to this discussion.

“Their love feels quite self-destructive” is a really good way to sum things up, because Rubius is a pretty self-destructive man. Rubius is, fundamentally, a man who is full of love for the people he cares about, but those feelings are in direct conflict with his reluctance to let people get close to him (and his commitment issues). He can freely give hugs and kisses (and more) to Vegetta, but when it comes to expressing his true thoughts and feelings, he’s pretty emotionally constipated. We’ve already seen this a few times on the QSMP server – when Rubius visits on Vegetta’s birthday, he sings him the most beautiful heartfelt love song ever, but as soon as it’s over and Vegetta tries to talk to him, Rubius runs away. Even in Karmaland V, when hooked up to a lie detector and asked about his feelings for Vegetta, Rubius tried to wiggle his way out of answering. Only when the world was literally ending and they all thought they were gonna die did Rubius finally admit his feelings, shouting his confession and his love for Vegetta at the top of his lungs.

(The real tragedy here is that it was so chaotic with everyone shouting, Vegetta never heard his words…)

Although it’s easy to slap the label “toxic” on Rubius, I think that’s unfair to him and his character, as well as his intentions. He truly does love Vegetta with all his heart, in every universe, and he doesn’t want to hurt him, but Rubius doesn’t want to get hurt either. The Meteor shower conversation gives us a clear understanding of that:

Rubius: I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get my hopes up, and then get hurt. It's happened to me many times before. Especially here in Karmaland. Vegetta: Have you had lovesickness? Rubius: Yes. In Karmaland, everywhere, in real life... I'm already used to getting beaten. Vegetta: That's a pity... Rubius: I just want someone to take care of me, and that's it. I don't ask for much. Vegetta: I'm very protective.

The way I see it, Rubius is afraid of his feelings for Vegetta, because the larger his love grows, the larger that potential for hurt and disappointment gets. Does this excuse all his actions? No, of course not, however there’s a big difference between doing something out of self-preservation (possibly as a trauma-response, depending on how you interpret his character) and doing something with the intent to hurt someone.

IMO, Rubius isn’t a toxic guy, he just needs therapy.

Vegetta doesn’t get mischaracterized quite as often, though I do feel like people have a tendency to put him on a pedestal and minimize the flaws he has. I’m a massive Vegetta fan, but this guy’s far from perfect. He’s self-centered, borderline narcissistic sometimes, and he’s a very prideful man. He’s never left Rubius at the altar, but he’s still had his fair share of “oopsies” and "yikes" in their relationship. One (which I’m surprised people don’t talk about more) is an incident from Karmaland IV where Vegetta, very unhinged and mentally unstable at the time, kidnapped Rubius’ wife Nieves and threatened her with a sword, saying, “If Rubius can’t be mine, he can’t be anyone’s.”

For the longest time I genuinely thought that line came from a fanfic or something, then I stumbled upon the clip one day and I was just like:

Anyways

In Karmaland V, Rubius became very close with a little alien child named Titi. He took care of Titi like he was his own son, and despite his attempts at emotionally distancing himself early on so he wouldn’t get attached, Rubius wound up caring a lot for him.

Then Titi died.

It was basically Rubius’ worst nightmare come to life – he’d let himself get close to Titi, he’d loved him unconditionally and let Titi into his heart, and Titi’s death utterly destroyed him. Everyone in Karmaland was affected by the death, but Rubius took it especially hard because of how close they were. Rubius was hurting badly and resorting to terrible coping strategies to deal with the pain, and Vegetta…

Well. Vegetta wasn’t very nice about it.

There are a lot of ways we could interpret Vegetta’s actions and words during this time – maybe he’s not super sensitive when talking about death since he’s probably some kind of demigod, maybe he speedran the grieving process, maybe he thought brutal honesty and direct action would help Rubius “snap out of it” sooner. However you see it, ultimately it did a lot more harm than good for Rubius’ overall mental health.

I bring these examples up not to paint their relationship as toxic or negative, but rather to express just how complex it is. Because, despite all their mistakes and drama and heartbreak, at the end of the day, Rubius and Vegetta still love each other more than anything else. Even towards the end of Karmaland V when they were quite literally on opposite sides of the battlefield (one supporting Quackity, the other supporting Luzu), their true loyalties lay with one another. When Rubius was hit by an enemy, Vegetta defended him with his life, and when Vegetta was hurt, Rubius did the same.

Yes, Rubius doesn't really know how to handle healthy relationships, and yes, Vegetta tends to forgive him too easily, but that doesn't erase the love they have. The key we need to remember here is that Rubegetta is a telenovela that sits squarely in the romcom category. They may wander into other genres and tropes from time to time, but they will always gravitate back to one another. Whether you define that as fate or soulmates or just sheer dumb luck, the facts remain and the love is there.

PHEW anyways that felt good to get out, I have so many thoughts on Rubegetta so I appreciate the excuse to rant. I'm always happy to chat about these two! :D And you're so right - Vegetta is so smitten for that demon, I hope he gets to meet the angel too. I hope Rubius comes back soon so Vegetta can see his Osito Fiu Fiu, but in the meantime, we'll have to keep wishing and praying just like Vegetta...

(ALSO THANK YOU the current chapter of that dang Rubegetta fic is kicking my butt rn because it's the only chapter I didn't outline and life events keep interrupting me when I try and work on it, but it IS getting chipped away at bit by bit! I hope folks enjoy the outcome when it's released :D)

#Karmaland #QSMP #Rubius #Vegetta777 #Rubegetta #Vegetta #i talk #qsmp talk #ethogirlie #replies #QSMP Analysis

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hms-no-fun · 1 year

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I hope this ask doesn't come off as rude at all-- and I apologize if it does!-- but as an aspiring writer, I'm honestly really confused by some of the early choices in Godfeels, and I'm curious if I'm just not "getting it". I saw some posts about it pop up in the tag (and they WERE very shitty and rude about it :/), but I'd love to hear your explanation/take on June's big character change immediately post-realization, and especially the... "Trickster Arc", I guess it could be called? The former I get to some extent, but I'm really curious about the choice to do all THAT so early in the story with the trickster candy.

Seriously love your work, your narration is honestly a big inspiration to me in terms of how meta it gets and how close it gets to communicating directly with both the main character AND the audience!

no rudeness detected at all! this is a great question, in fact it’s one i’ve been kinda hoping someone would ask because i’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot these last few months. but i get the sense that you’re at least a little new here, so uh, yeah, hello, when people ask me interesting questions i tend to answer at great length. so strap in for that after the break lmao. also as a note, there will be some spoilers for all of godfeels here but please don’t let that scare you away, they’re all contextless and, if anything, might honestly make the rest of the story *more* enjoyable as a result.

as far as "getting it" goes, i've talked at length about the how & why of the violence in godfeels in multiple places so i'll try to avoid rehashing that too much here. but one thing i want to emphasize right off the bat is that i never intended godfeels to be an ongoing thing. you talk about the trickster arc happening “so early in the story” but when i wrote godfeels 1 i didn’t plan on writing more. i didn’t even plan on making john trans! my idea of what the sum total of godfeels 2 would be when i started writing it wound up being completely different from the finished work. i didn’t plan to make this thing so long. i didn’t plan for june to accidentally on purpose kill her friends while drunk and then retcon it. i didn’t plan on turning the whole thing into a space opera. it all just happened to me, man. i kept writing because i kept finding more interesting things to say. and it’s important to specify that when i started gf1 i hadn’t written fiction in years. i think if you jumped ahead to godfeels 3 part 1 chapter 8, no matter how you feel about the content we’d at least be able to agree that in the years since 2019 i’ve become a much much better writer. if you want more insight into how my process has evolved, i’ve written so so so much about it, too much maybe even, in the #sarahposts tag.

anyway, now i want to talk about june's "big character change." the extent to which her trickster arc makes sense or feels in character seems to vary wildly from person to person. what always bugs me about "ooc" as a criticism is that godfeels starts six years and change after the end of homestuck. let's remember that the protagonists of homestuck were sixteen when the comic ended. now i want you to ask yourself if you as you were at 16 would think that you as you are now was "in character." or vice versa! probably not, right? it doesn’t even have to have been six years. i was STILL sixteen when i started to get embarrassed of who i was at sixteen!

that should be all i need to say, but it isn’t. and it doesn't really get to the core of the issue anyway. i am not nor have i ever been interested in writing "a sequel to homestuck,” even though it has kind of just become that anyway. godfeels has always been about the meaty existential drama you can tease out through the complicated character dynamics of these fucked up traumatized gods. godfeels has always been my way of analyzing the themes and ideas of homestuck, the existential ramifications of the mechanics of SBURB and the classpects and retcon (let’s remember that i wrote godfeels around the same time that i took over hosting duties on the perfectly generic podcast). godfeels has also always been about me and my trauma. i even used to joke that june was my self-insert character, though i've seen that line repeated unironically by enough people who haven't read godfeels that i've stopped saying it. because it's not true! june is very, very different from me... i just happen to see my life reflected in her eyes.

to immediately rehash what i said i wouldn't, june eg8ert arose out of my frustration with most versions of the june egbert headcanon particularly in the summer of 2019. let's call her "hairclips june." hairclips june is always smiling, usually with smiling friends, she's wearing hairclips and has nonzero tit and is A Woman Now. as i said in my video, while i don't begrudge anyone their comfort food, this simply was not my experience with coming out as a trans woman. and of all the characters, i’d always identified most with john. also i thought, you know, these kids are SERIOUSLY messed up, every single one of them has died multiple times, they've seen things and done things no one should ever have to. and retcon! god, what a mindfuck retcon is.

those are the primal ingredients of godfeels. what if june came out and everyone wasn't chill about it? some folks say that's out of character and, idk, i guess that's arguably true. but i had friends who were very vocal trans allies who’d been in queer relationships who still stopped talking to me after i came out. let me tell you i spent a lot of time fucked up in the head over how "out of character" that was for them, to the extent that i blamed myself for their reaction because surely they couldn't be so out of character. to which one might respond, well, why do this as a homestuck fic then? why not just do my own original thing instead?

and i guess the answer is that i didn't want to and i still don't, really. it's not just about the characters for me. i like the rules of the homestuck universe. i find it interesting how it mechanically reflects being a fictional narrative. and, you know, maybe it's easier for me to process violent intrusive thoughts through a character who is capable of acting on those thoughts and then immediately undoing them consequence-free. retcon is, in fact, sort of the perfect mechanism for exploring violent intrusive thoughts because it lets us play out the fantasy without lasting diegetic harm, such that we can just focus on the existential and moral questions of the phenomenon itself. and like, yeah, that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. but isn’t it still just as valid a topic to explore in fiction as anything else?

like em or not, people have intrusive thoughts. people have violent impulses. sometimes they even act on them. the unpleasantness of a phenomenon shouldn’t dictate whether it is acceptable to depict in fiction-- if anything, we ought to take our instinctive desire to look away as an urgent invitation to look closer instead. as i’ve been wont to say for years and years now, “problematic” implies a problem to be solved. that which is human is inherently complicated. to pretend it’s all good or bad excises humanity from the equation, or at least flattens the range of acceptable humanity. all of which is my extremely soapboxy way of saying (as i’ve said a million times by now), yes, godfeels june is problematic. that is in fact what godfeels is about.

there's an extent to which i think this can be blamed on how rooted we are IN june's perspective in gf1 and 2. i don't think people really appreciate the fact that godfeels 1 is john threatening to commit suicide and almost going through with it. that's the context in which her friends react poorly to her coming out; i mean, she's literally sleeping on rose's couch because everyone's so worried about her! i think that, by being completely within june's perspective for all of these events, we don't really get a good sense of the interpersonal dynamics at play (probably because i didn't even really understand them myself until later). instead we just see people who should know better acting like dicks.

i think whether or not june’s trickster arc is canonically palatable to you depends very much on whether or not you've had a dear friend disappoint you so much that you're no longer on speaking terms.

but if we want to reel this back from the abstract philosophical, maybe it’s enough to say that we just have different interpretations of these characters? they’re not monoliths, you know. different people see different things in different characters. some folks get a lot out of hairclips june and that’s okay. maybe i was a bitch about other people’s headcanons back in 2019 when redditors were calling me and my friends abusive pedophiles for liking vriska, but i gave up that fight when the redditors got what they wanted (to harass a group of queer creators offline and out of their jobs). if someone wants to woobify gamzee, whatever man, go right ahead. that ain’t my cup of tea and i personally don’t think that’s very in character either, but that’s why i don’t read it. it ain’t for me and that’s fine. i like homestuck BECAUSE these characters can mean so many things to so many people. is this variability not precisely the thing that makes the postcanon era so interesting?

i have my idea of who these characters are based on who they were in the comic and i work very hard to keep them in character, but i also don't want them to be trapped in amber. i want them to grow and change and become different people, because homestuck itself is obsessed with inescapable absolute archetypes (ie the ultimate self, or the captchalogue system) and i enjoy troubling that. i enjoy swimming in a sea of weird problematic dilemmas. that’s what’s fun about fiction for me, you can think about and write about all the most difficult and even fucked up things you like, and it definitionally cannot cause real material nonconsensual harm to another human being. and yet we get so tied up in the question of harm anyway! maybe that makes sense when talking about marvel movies, but this is fanfiction we’re talking about. this is HOMESTUCK fanfiction. if i were to go on twitter right now and post “homestuck is good” i’d end the day with at least five comments saying “lol no it’s not.” SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE WILL HAVE HOMESTUCK AVATARS. there are few things as cringe as liking homestuck even among people who like homestuck, so who cares? i like homestuck, i like the epilogues, i like hs2, and i think a pretty gargantuan majority of this fandom are subliterate babies. that’s why i don’t engage with them or make much of an attempt to bridge the gap. i think godfeels and its cool little fandom is all the better for how much work it requires of the reader to “get it” as it were. i wish more people would give it a chance, or at the very least not immediately throw me and a lot of my friends under the bus at every possible opportunity, but what can you do? i just write. people will react how they will react. what matters to me is that it stays true to itself as a work, and that it grows with me and my audience and my collaborators. trying to backpedal or soften the edges would just ruin the whole thing, likely alienate my current readers and inevitably invite even more bad faith readings. no thanks!

some folks stop reading godfeels after june's trickster arc, and i can respect that. if you get to that part of the story and don't like it, chances are you're not gonna like the rest of it! and in that sense, i guess you could say i “chose” to have june’s trickster arc happen so “early on” as a litmus test for the reader. as annoying as it can be feeling like i’m constantly having to address this exact issue, i vastly prefer it to a bunch of people hate-reading something that wasn’t made for them. but again, i didn’t know this was “early on” when i wrote it, because i didn’t plan it to happen. i didn’t intend for june to go on a killing spree, she just did it and i as writer decided, you know what? this is way more interesting than what i had planned. and then dirk became the antagonist because, oops, june coming out fucked up all the schemes he has that play out in the homestuck epilogues. and i guess in THAT sense, the palatability of godfeels depends on whether or not you liked and/or tolerated the homestuck epilogues and homestuck^2. these, too, are not for everyone. but godfeels is not a replacement for them, as some folks like to claim (god bless them). i’m not interested in rewriting homestuck or fixing its sequels. ok well that’s not entirely true, i think the epilogues did jake REAL dirty and that’s become a big focus of mine going forward. but even then, i don’t pretend the epilogues didn’t happen. in fact if you’ve read all of 3.1, you know just how cosmically important they end up being.

but this is, i guess, kind of the crux of the issue for me. june’s trickster arc happens very early on in the story, yes, and that’s deliberately challenging on a lot of levels. june spends a great deal of time being challenged by it herself! but folks who stop there (if they even make it that far) often act like the whole story is grimdark wish-fulfillment violence or me airing out my irrational hatred of Boys (????), and that's just not true. i don’t give a shit about that. we get to june's trickster arc at around the 25,000 word mark, out of the current grand total of over 400,000 words. her violence is functionally the prologue, and she spends the entire rest of this story suffering the consequences of those actions. so if i am frustrated with this line of questioning, a lot of it comes down to the fact that if you just read the rest of the story you’d see that i have in fact had all of the same thoughts you’ve likely had. i know people who think i did dirk dirty in gf2, and i actually kind of agree! which is why dirk comes back and has a difficult, complicated relationship with his past self. people complain about certain characters being ooc, which i can certainly understand because when i started godfeels i really did not have a great grasp on them! but also, if you kept reading godfeels you’d know that the tension of whether or not someone is cosmically “in character” is a huge running theme of this story. june’s friends react poorly to her coming out in part because it seems out of character for her! hell, phenomenologically how *could* june be in character after coming out when she barely even knows who she is yet? her whole thing in gf1 is that she doesn’t know who she is anymore! just realizing that you’re trans changes you, changes how you see the world, how you relate to other people. or it did for me, anyway. risk, dare, X, angel dirk, and silverbark are all sorts of caught up in this question. and if you’ve gotten to the end of 3.1 you’ll know about the concept of denexustic radiation:

and that’s just the tip of the metaphysical iceberg. all of which is to say that this is a feature, not a bug. so it’s always very funny to me when people drop out so early on only to complain about the very same problematics that i’ve spent three years and 400,000 words exploring.

BUT. but. yeah godfeels 1 and 2 are messy. the gf3 prologue is very messy. it’s a serial narrative that has changed shape multiple times over the years, and barring a bit of polish on gf1 around when i started writing gf3 i generally refuse to go back and rewrite things. there’s a lot i would do differently today, but if i had done it differently then the story as it is today would not exist. and i love this story! i might look back on gf2 and feel like it’s rushed and messy, but i know that it was the best i could do at the time. it’s a reflection of who i was as a writer then. i live with the ramifications of that for the same reason i don’t delete the old videos on my channel from before i came out/learned what communism was: because i don’t like to pretend that the present was always present. i’m a different person now, a different writer. i made mistakes, i learned, and i changed. i will continue this process for the rest of my natural life, as will you.

ultimately i guess my answer here is that godfeels is a flawed work written by a flawed person, and the extent to which readers relate to it seems to have a lot to do with how much their flaws overlap with mine. i get lots of people telling me my characters are in character. i get people telling me they’re more in character than some canon! and it’s not that i weigh those comments as more valuable, i just see it as an indication of who my audience is. i’m not writing for people who want more hiveswap, and i’m certainly not writing for people who dismissed hs^2 out of hand. i’m just writing for myself and my friends, and it just so happens that some people seem to get a lot out of it.

i’m gonna close out here by actually finally directly addressing your question with what i think you were ultimately hoping for: some writing advice.

the rules don’t exist. there are things that can make some art better or some art worse but they are not universal. the rules are fake and if you hold every story you touch to those rules, you’re gonna have a bad time. a story is not static and it is never truly yours. you discover it. sometimes you can expand it or alter it in ways but, at least in my experience, doing so more often than not just kills the whole thing-- or at least demands a complete reconceptualization. all of which takes time, and we live in a world where taking time to get in touch with and hone your craft is considered sort of a bad economic decision. but art is what it is and it does what it does and we can either play with it or we can put it in a cage.

what i like about making art is that i am not entirely in control. i have my plans, my schemes, my ideas, but the fun of writing is just putting a bunch of characters in a room together and seeing what they do. quite often they do things i would never expect, that are far truer to their character than i anticipated. my experience has always been that the more you outline a story before you write it, the harder it is to actually write that story. when i know everything that’s gonna happen on a moment to moment level, the whole thing falls dead on the page. but obviously you need to know SOME things! and i’ll say that from the inception of gf3 back in december 2019 to now, very very few of the broad strokes of my plans have changed. if you’ve read all of 3.1 you know there’s a very specific timeline at play in the backstory of a group of characters we’ll be spending a lot of time with in 3.2. there are no questions or mysteries or whatever else i’ve introduced to this story that i did not have at least the sense of an explanation for. but these are simply bullet points that dictate the endpoint of a path and suggest something of the moral/philosophical/emotional arc that needs to occur in order to get there. the real meat of it comes out in the act of writing itself, and that’s what i’m here for. it’s a gamble that doesn’t always pay off, and it does mean that i have almost 80,000 words of material i ended up rewriting or cutting sitting in a doc somewhere, but that’s worth it for me.

if art is to be relevant, it must have the capacity to make an audience uncomfortable. if art is to be essential, it must have the capacity to demand a strong reaction (positive or negative) from everyone who sees it. if art is to be true, it must have the capacity to reflect the disquiet contradictions of simple existence that we desperately wish to ignore in our daily lives. that doesn’t mean everyone has to or should read difficult art, or like it, or make it. but it has always existed and it will always exist, and i think it is essential for writers and critics alike to learn to stop themselves from mistaking a common storytelling method for THE storytelling method. and frankly, most of the art i love most in this world is art that i didn’t particularly like the first time we crossed paths.

and lastly, never forget the inarguable truth that the audience bears quite a lot of responsibility in this equation. you are never, as a writer, inflicting anything on your reader, because your reader can always opt out at any moment they wish. if something doesn’t work, yeah, that’s a problem you can fix. art is a conversation in that way, or at least ought to be. but at the same time, art has no obligation to be perfect, or smooth, or easy to consume. the rules are fake. they exist to be broken. the pursuit of perfection is a dead end. just make shit

okay this one has gone on QUITE long enough lmao i hope there’s something useful in there for you somewhere and uhhhh i hope you enjoy the rest of godfeels if you haven’t already read it!

#sarahposts #godfeels #homestuck #writing advice #problematic art #transgender writing #june egbert #homestuck epilogues #homestuck2 #trickster arc

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veinsandknuckles · 2 years

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Reflect what you are, pt 2

Abed Nadir/Autistic f!Reader. In love and at a loss, Abed turns to self professed woman-expert Jeff Winger for advice with mixed results. Part 1 Rated: pg Warnings: casual ableism, casual sexism, autistic stereotypes, reference to the The Big Bang Theory. If I’ve missed anything, let me know. This fic hasn’t been BETA’d. As a disclaimer, I’ll say upfront that the reader insert’s experiences with and outward signs of autism are based on my own. It’s always impossible to write a reader insert neutrally enough to be projected onto by everyone and I think that’s especially true when portraying a disability that is at once so specific and so varied. ——–

“...I think I’m in love.”

“Really.” Jeff didn’t look up from his phone.

Abed wasn’t sure why he’d picked Jeff as the right person to talk to. Perhaps it was just because Jeff had lingered in the study room after their last session, leaving them alone in the room, and if Abed didn’t tell someone, anyone, he might literally explode. “Yes. Definitely. I show all the classic signs.”

Jeff didn’t respond. Had his sarcastic, disinterested tone been more pointed than usual? It was hard to tell.

“Did you already know I’m in love?”

“With what’s-her-name, your new study buddy?” Jeff gave Abed a look. “Uh, yeah. I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”

“Oh.” Abed tapped his pen against the table and thought this over. “Do I talk about her a lot?”

“Not really, but we know you. It’s pretty suspicious if you take an interest in anyone who isn’t a fictional character.” Jeff put his phone down and leaned his elbows on the table. “Does this mean you’ve finally come to me for dating advice? It’s about time.”

“Normally, I wouldn’t need advice...”

Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “Because women throw themselves at you, for some reason.” He sounded resentful. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And usually I don’t really care either way.” Perhaps this wasn’t the best approach if he wanted Jeff’s help, but it was the truth. “I mean, the attention is nice, but it’s not important.”

“Well, if you’re ‘in love’” (here, Jeff made so many air quotes he threatened to sprain a finger) “that’s a whole different story.”

“Yeah. I’d be pretty upset if she didn’t like me back.”

“I’m sure. So what have you tried so far?”

“Hm.” What had he tried? Shockingly little, now that he came to think about it. “I’ve talked to her a little. We’re working on a project together for class. Oh, and yesterday I threatened to beat a guy up for disrespecting her.”

There was a long pause. “See, this is why you should come to me for inspiration instead of turning to the movies.”

“Yeah, but it was warranted. He’s a bully.”

“Yeah, but still. I never figured you’d go for the caveman approach.”

Abed shrugged. “I don’t really have an approach.”

“Yeah, we established that. So what’s this girl like?”

“I think she’s autistic.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and his mouth seemed to twitch. He didn’t make a face, but it seemed to take him some effort not to make a face. What was he trying to hide? Surprise? A lack of surprise? Amusement? Ridicule? Probably not envy, but what did Jeff know?

“Abed, that’s not a very nice way to sum up a person. We taught you better than that.”

Abed had it on pretty good authority that Jeff had pointed him out to strangers as ‘the robot’ and ‘just don’t call him Sheldon’ several times just this month, but for some reason, people tended to get uncomfortable if the spade joined in and also started calling itself a spade.

“Okay, this is clearly a sensitive issue for you. If I tell you she’s also beautiful and funny and attentive and kind and clever and beautiful, does that make you feel better?”

“That’s a pretty long list.” Jeff smiled. “Beautiful made it in twice, huh?”

It was a fair summary as far as Abed was concerned, repetition included, but Jeff needed to be brought down a peg or two.“I thought that would reassure you.”

Jeff stopped smiling. “Whatever. So if you care so much about her supposed personality, what do you guys actually have in common? Apart from, you know. The A word.”

“I’m not sure. We both pay attention in class, so we already have some similar interests.”

“Okay, so get her talking about those. Women love it when you pretend to care about their dumb opinions.”

Abed was very much convinced that this was not an uniquely female trait and he knew that if he chose to make a rebuttal, Jeff himself would make for an excellent exhibit A. But Jeff depended on his 90’s stand up comedian understanding of gender roles and it would be unfair to take that comfort away from him. Instead, he chose diplomacy. “If she has dumb opinions, I’ll lose interest. Even if she’s beautiful twice.”

“Yeah, you’re weird like that.”

“But I get shy around her, and I’m not used to being shy. I try to plan our conversations in advance, but then when I talk to her I forget everything I was going to say... And I don’t want to pretend to be someone else.”

“You’re overthinking this. Just go up to her and talk, ask more questions than you give answers and if she smiles and laughs at your jokes...” Jeff thought about it, then shook his head. “Huh. Yeah, I see the problem. You still can’t really read anyone. Even I can’t read you and I’m a master manipulator who’s known you for years. If she’s like you...” He seemed at a loss for words. “Don’t you have, like, a secret language or something? Bleep, bloop, Star Trek good?”

How should Abed know? It wasn’t like he’d been ushered into a secret society or subscribed to the local autism mailing list. Maybe there actually was a club and he just hadn’t been invited - that would be a fun, ironic twist. “Not one I know of.” The trekkie accusation he filed away for a later argument.

“Alright. So, when she’s happy or annoyed or on the rag, can you even tell?”

“I think so.”

Abed worried that Jeff misinterpreted the reason for his interest. He couldn’t tell if Jeff wanted to over or under emphasise the autism part, but he could tell Jeff didn’t get it. Sure, it was exciting to meet someone who functioned the way he did, but not because he expected or even wanted you to be a copy of himself. He wasn’t looking for the comedy staple where the weirdo, slash robot, slash dog’s love interest was played by the same actor, slash costume, slash dog in a wig or a pink bow. He was just as desperate to explore all your differences as your possible similarities, and the disability thing was just a small part of that. And he’d underplayed the “beautiful” part, but your mind really was not the only thing he wanted to explore. After all, you’d already turned his head months before he’d realised what you shared.

It dawned on Abed that he really would be just as excited to talk to you if the topics you chose made no sense to him - whatever you said would interest him, simply because you were the one talking. And if he ever accidentally tuned you out, he’d be happy just to watch your lips move.

How could he even begin to explain all of this? Or any of it? If Jeff had ever felt the same way, he would never admit to it.

“She emotes a lot.” By Abed’s standards, anyway. “I don’t think most people can really tell she’s autistic.”

“Why are you so fixated on this?”

“Well, in this case, I mean I think she’s more of a people person than I am. She blends in better than I do and that would take a lot of practice.” He paused. “I never really made friends before I got to Greendale, but...”

“You’re worried you might have some competition?”

Abed shook his head. If anything, competition would be reassuring. But why? “I don’t want her to like me because she has no other option. I want her to choose me.” If that was true, why did admitting it make his stomach feel so cold? Abed swallowed and voiced a fear he hadn’t even been conscious of before. “I’m worried I might be too weird for her.”

Now Jeff made a face even Abed could recognise, if only because he’d seen it so often over the years. It was a face of pained, awkward pity.

Abed was seriously starting to regret being so honest, especially with someone who clearly still expected him to be more ashamed of himself than he really was.

But Jeff surprised him and his expression changed gradually into a less familiar smile. “Yeah... I think we all feel like that sometimes. I mean, not me, obviously.” Abed nodded and Jeff continued. “I hate to be a cliché, but if you absolutely have to be in love, I really think you should just try to be yourself. If she doesn’t like you, it’s better you rip the band-aid off quickly.” He reached out as if to give Abed a pat on the shoulder but seemed to think better of it and let his hand fall. “Who knows, she might like you better for being a bit weird - I know I get sick of hanging out with normal people all the time. Whatever that means.”

Abed nodded. Especially the band-aid argument appealed to him. Right now he felt that if he didn’t either get to touch you or let go of this obsession within the week, he’d just wither up and die. Wow. He might actually have to resort to a weekend of 80’s rom coms, either to look for inspiration for some big dramatic gesture of his own, or to do what most people probably did when they watched rom coms - daydream about his own crush and imagine you and him up there on the screen instead, kissing and holding on to each other for dear life while the music swelled and the rain pored. This was so much worse than he’d thought.

#abed nadir #abed nadir x reader #abed nadir imagines #abed nadir imagine #community #community fanfiction #my fics #abed nadir fanfic #still can't promise I'll finish or even continue this fic because I'm usually swamped these days #but since this part was practically finished I figured I'd dust it off and post it

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