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wickedgamesoyaoya · 4 years

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Amnesia - Hearts ~ Aug 4.

Malignant emptiness had secured reign over your heart. Slowly it spread throughout your system, beginning its quest to contaminate the liquid coursing through your veins. Not a single atom would be spared – each memory attached to your skin would be vanquished. The simplest touches to the warmth of your best friend, nothing would remain. Any efforts to combat the virus plaguing you was futile; you were no match for the craftsmanship of an ethereal being. As your final memory was seized by the excruciating cleanse, the person you once were ceased to exist. Born anew, y/n, welcome to your game.

The sound of foreign voices engaged in casual conversation had jolted awake your dormant senses. Due to your malfunctioning hippocampus, your face had naturally scrunched up as fragments of still-shots flickered inside of your head, resembling a filmstrip with numerous punctures. The only image that persisted long after the others incinerated was of a bed-headed male crouched on a staircase, with his face buried in his hands. It was the same male that regarded you with such concern the second your eyelids had fluttered open.

“She’s awake.” Within seconds, the droopy eyed stranger was at your side, his irises searched yours for any sign of injury, while yours struggled to retain any recognition. “Hey, y/n. How are you feeling?”

That was a valid question, one you were not prepared to answer, not because you did not want to. But because you did not know the answer yourself.

Groggily you pressed your hands on either side of the single mattress, as your elbows threatened to cave in, Kuroo slid an arm around you, stabilizing your movements. Behind him Makoto released a sigh, locating a hand to her forehead as she mumbled a comment about her blood-pressure.

Your heart skipped an involuntary beat the second his fingers connected with the fabric draped over your skin. The sensation, however, was prompted by fear, rather than fondness. Kuroo, who had felt your muscles tense, had removed his arm after confirming you were steady.

“Y/n, honey. Can you say something?” Makoto proceeded a cautious step closer, with a reassuring smile on her lips. “Are you in pain?”

Your y/e/c irises focused on the black-haired girl’s ensemble, searching for any indication of where you were or who you were with. A nametag had revealed her identity along with their location – Jack Rose. A small ache developed in your temples as you repeated the café’s name, striving to instigate any recollection. Using two fingers, you applied pressure to the throbbing location, with your gaze settling on your own uniform. Y/n – employee of Jack Rose was sewn into the right corner.

The reality of the situation was beginning to dawn on you. From what you could gather, something had occurred during your shift and now you were experiencing a form of amnesia. Miraculously, the realization had not thrown you into a state of distress. The memories would come back, they would have to... You just needed a trigger.

“I’m okay. Um…Where’s my phone?” The sound of your own voice had startled you – a fact that had chipped away at the little hope you were clinging to. How could you forget yourself? What had happened to you…?

If there was anything that would kick-start your mental processes, it would be past photos or videos. For now, it was vital to discover your relationship to the three people gawking at you.

“She’s asking for her phone, how typical. She’s fine.” Makoto clicked her tongue in distaste, while fetching the device from her apron pocket. “You dropped it when you fainted, silly bird.” She then lobbed the phone towards your lap.

“I don’t know…I still think we shoul’ take her to the hospital.” From the very moment he arrived, Atsumu’s attention had remained secured on you. The older male was tracking your every movement to form mental notes that he could relay if need be to a physician. “What do ya think, ‘surou?”

“If she won’t answer our questions, then we have no choice.” Kuroo’s response did not register as your attention was solely on the smart device held within your palm. The quest to discover your identity began with Twitter – your profile to be exact.

It was strange to say the least to read over your inner thoughts with no recollection. Twitter was in some forms the new generations version of a dairy. What had you meant about acting on your feelings? Feelings for what? Or feelings for who? The guessing game was brought to a pause as an incoming message demanded your attention.

It’s not safe…? The three simple words had punctured your lungs, the air within the confines of the lunchroom could no longer be accepted. Dread etched across your chest, yet the small voice in your head directed you to present yourself as collected.

“Y/n?” Suddenly the blonde male had a palm over your forehead to assess whether you had a fever. During your little exploration, Makoto had exited the room and only the two boys remained.

“I’m fine, guys. But I am a bit tired, do you think I could go home?” A weary smile was forced onto your lips to verify the truth of your words –but it failed to convince either of them.

“You already worked a shift today; I can help in the kitchen. It’s alrigh’. Take her home. But if she doesn’t feel any better, take her to the hospital.” Atsumu lifted his shoulders into a short shrug, the response was evidently directed at the black-haired male who agreed with a nod.

“Okay, let’s go.”

* * *

The journey home was laced with silence, outside of the occasional inquiries from the younger male on your health. He was insistent, you mentally noted, but also endearing. Before leaving Jack Rose, you skimmed through your contacts and following to ascertain the names of those closest to you. The one from earlier was Atsumu – the person you had tweeted about. The girl was Makoto, your co-worker and perhaps one of your best friends. The person who was currently staring at you questionably was Tetsurou. At one point a spark of longing had flashed in his irises, only increasing the guilt hovering over you for forgetting his existence.

Well, if it made him feel any better, you also forgot your own –

“Oi. Where are you going?” Kuroo’s fingers tangled with the fabric of your collar, tugging you a few steps back as you accidentally missed the entrance of your building. “Did you forget where you lived?” The latter part of the sentence was spoken through a slightly higher pitch, demonstrating his growing concern.

“Oh, sorry. I was lost in thought.” Artificial laughter bubbled in your throat, irritating your tonsils in the process.

“If something was wrong, you would tell me, right?” His hands found refuge in his jacket pockets, yet his gaze did not waver from yours. Your attempts to reassure him were once again dismissed instantly. Withholding the truth from him was beginning to become more difficult, and you were unsure whether you could – he was incredibly perceptive.

“Yes… I promise. After some sleep, I’ll be brand-new.” Or so you hoped.

“Okay. I’m going to hold you to that.” Truthfully, there was nothing you could say to ease his concerns. But a promise would suffice for now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Fifteen minutes. Fifteen whole minutes until you were able to determine what apartment number was yours. The task would have been much simpler if you checked your ubereats account rather than scrolling through your messages. A small sliver of hope had ignited within your heart when you twisted the key in the lock, perhaps seeing your apartment would trigger a memory or two. Anything would be helpful at this point; you were sincerely grasping at straws.

Instantly any hope that lingered deflated, only to be replaced with frustration. Answers – you needed answers. Retrieving your phone from your bag, you tapped on messages and alerted the one person who knew about your predicament that you were home.

No, this could not be happening. An elaborate joke, maybe, but not the truth. How could you digest this information – how could anyone? A sob clogged the back of your throat as fear washed over your system. Desperate to confirm you were simply stuck in a warped nightmare, you forced yourself to search the apartment for anything that would make sense. If you had to accept this reality, how could you arm yourself without your memories? Who was friend or foe?

It was only when you crumpled onto the ground in defeat when your eyes landed on a charm glimmering under your bedframe. Attached to the dazzling piece was… a dairy. Instinctively, your fingers brushed along the cover before tugging on the string to where the latest entry was written.

Aug 3rd.

One day will it be different…? Will he wake up and see me differently? Or am I destined to feel this way forever? Ah, unrequited love, the subject of many Shakespearian stories and the source of my latest dilemma. Could he come to love me? See me beyond a sister-figure? The question remains unanswered… and I doubt I shall ever know it. And so, I welcome this bittersweet misery.

Ew, this sounds like a cheesy poem, not a diary entry. I feel sorry for my future self, having to read this garbage. But my problem remains. To be or to not be? Just kidding, this isn’t Hamlet. To tell one of my childhood best friends that I love him or to not? I guess not.

Amnesia - Hearts ~ Aug 4.

Masterlist - Previous - Next

A/N: I really hope the formatting on this didn’t fuck up. someone pls let me know if it did.

Tag-list: @kara-grayson04 @namyari , @cuddlesslut , @iloveanime691 @shakiraisawesome @idiot-juice-enthusiast@fangirling-25-8 @krynnza @yetchann @chxrry-wxne @tsukiak4ri

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smau #haikyuu fanfiction #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo smau

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unidentified-flying-sparrow · 4 years

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I still love Harry Potter - but not JKR

Warning: This gets wordy. I really just rambled and let my thoughts take me where they will. And these are only my personal rambles - they aren’t meant to be a deep political statement or super eloquent or anything. They’ll be messy and meandering and mainly for my own benefit. I just...needed to think. And remember. And feel. You have been warned.

JKR has been in the news a lot lately. And not in a good way. To put it bluntly, she’s basically revealed herself as a TERF and is rightly being called out. It hurts, because Harry Potter made a large impact on my life. But the author has shown herself to be flawed and I had put her on a pedestal for years of my life. I admired her “rags-to-riches” (sorta) story. Her success. Her talent with writing. I wanted to be her in some ways. She was living my life’s dream!

And now she is making hurtful remarks about a marginalized group of people who have done nothing except demand equality and recognition.

I first heard about the books through my mom. She was a substitute teacher at the time, and in the class she was covering, the teacher had just started reading The Sorceror’s Stone. Mom went out and got a copy, read it, and loaned it to me. She also griped about how no one knew how to pronounce the name “Hermione” - the kids she was reading to kept ‘correcting’ her with ‘Hermy-own-knee” as the pronunciation. It drove her nuts. I remember bragging to my friends when I figured out what the Mirror of Erised actually said. I was in junior high - eighth grade. I was reading a kids’ book that wasn’t hugely popular yet, and trying to lure people in. I remember seeing more and more people I knew picking up the books. In high school, when we had free days in band (aka the teacher was sick and the sub didn’t know music), my friends and I would talk Harry Potter. I was giddy when I got my own copies - hardback copies - of the first three books by saving my money and shopping the second-hand bookstores. It’s not that my parents wouldn’t have gotten them for me, but I wanted to buy them for myself. My original, paperback copy of Sorceror’s Stone was battered and tattered and well-loved. Mom kept loaning out our copies to people. Sometimes, they didn’t come back. In that, it was like when she would loan out copies of The Lord of The Rings when I was a kid (which is why there are probably 4 or 5 copies of that in my parents’ house today). She knew the books were special. I put up Harry Potter posters. I glommed onto Hermione as a favorite character - a bookish girl who could still stand up for herself and have great friends? It was everything I had wanted for myself when I was eleven and struggled hard to have. So I adored her. And I shipped Harry/Hermione. Still do, but now days, I prefer just having an OT3 of the Golden Trio and an OT3 of the Silver Trio (or Sub Trio or whatever name the fandom uses now). I sometimes had trouble sleeping and would pop the audiobook of Sorceror’s Stone into my cassette player on those nights. It helped me relax. When the first film came out, my parents and I were there to see it. I was amazed. I remember griping about minor tweaks, like Harry’s eyes (until I read about the contacts issues). Oh, what little I knew of how the books and films would splinter more. But still be fun. Goblet of Fire the book was released 4 days before my 15th birthday. I made the mistake of telling my parents I could hold off on reading my copy until then. After I saw my mom sobbing -for reasons she couldn’t tell me - at the end of the book...I never made that particular error again. When Order of the Phoenix came out, we went to the Barnes and Noble midnight release to get our pre-ordered copies. During the long wait, a guy wandered up and down selling Little Caesar's pizzas. Another guy had visited Wal-Mart, purchased every copy of the book they had, and was selling them for only a couple of bucks over what he’d paid to anyone in line who was desperate for an extra copy. My parents bought one and I spent the rest of the waiting period crouched under a parking lot light, reading, until my parents got the copies we’d actually come for. I lost sleep reading all of the books as they came out. I was always done within a few days, at most. I just couldn’t put them down. I got T-shirts. Bought dolls/pillows/bedding. Got myself a T-shirt, a poster, and Quidditch Through The Ages and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them when I visited the UK in high school. I saw the latter films at midnight releases with my friends. Half-Blood Prince the book came out during my first summer as a camp counselor. Almost all of us - camper and staff alike - were reading it or talking about it. Spoilers were forbidden but there would still be hushed conversations during bedtime hours or “me-time” after lunch (rest period). Deathly Hallows - both book and film - came out after my mother passed. I got my copy of the book, quietly, at a Kroger at midnight.

Harry Potter got me heavily into fandom. I was there for The Draco Trilogy and Pawn to Queen. My Immortal and The Shoebox Project. Squickfics that made it onto GodAwfulFanfiction and its successor, Why God Why. LiveJournal communities. Fandom wank. And so much more. Reading updates on MuggleNet and The Leaky Cauldron and watching fanvids. Listening to music uploaded from Draco and the Malfoy and other fanbands. Roleplaying communities that were being hosted on Proboards message boards. Countless Sorting quizzes. I made sure to visit Universal Studios on my honeymoon with @lechevaliermalfet and want to go back one day, as only Hogsmeade existed when we went. I also remember how grumpy I was that @lechevaliermalfet had resisted my urging to read the books - he read them after they were recommended by an unlikely source. In hindsight, it makes sense. I was a solid fan. The person who recommended the books was not. I celebrated the release of Cursed Child with my family at a day-long celebration in Naperville, IL. I have a T-shirt to commemorate it, and a wand that I made with the help of my niece. Just this year, @lechevaliermalfet and I did a date night - dinner and the first Potter movie on the big screen.

I’m rambling, I know, but the point is, Harry Potter got me involved. I made online friends and honed writing skills by writing fanfiction. I learned to have a thicker skin because of some of the feedback I got. I made at least one fanvid (I’m reasonably certain it’s been lost to the ether and good riddance). Sure, I participated in other fandoms (especially Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew and Witch Hunter Robin). But this was a fandom I shared with more of my family and friends than any other. And I could even - and did - read it to kids I babysat. Now, I know Harry Potter isn’t perfect. Lord knows, Cursed Child reads like a bad fanfiction, and I have seen those ideas executed in ways that fired up my imagination and emotions more effectively. Repeatedly. Then there’s the issue of worldbuilding. The not-so-great aspects/implications of much of what has come out of Pottermore aside, Harry Potter’s wizarding world has always been a shaky society. Others have touched on this far more eloquently, so I’ll just say that it was interesting that we only had a few token “good” Slytherins - who were still shown to have ambition that overruled their better judgement at times.

I always saw the films as a different interpretation of the same story, so I wouldn’t go nuts over the stuff that was altered, so that stays. They have flaws of their own. Sometimes they exacerbate what is in the books - sometimes not.

I can’t speak to the more recent Fantastic Beasts stuff as I haven’t gotten involved. Maybe eventually. But I never realized that the poor representation in JKR’s world might reflect her worldview more wholly. I honestly figured it was a more innocent ignorance or reluctance to risk upsetting the market at the time. But the more she tweets and posts...the more obvious it is that no, she just really is that biased. I guess, at this point, I’m going to have to follow the Death of the Author route. I used to live for the engagement Rowling had with fans, and the tidbits she’d dole out. Now, I cringe every time I see one. For the books themselves, I think I’m going to have to take the Death of the Author approach from now on. Because JKR cannot take away the positive things Harry Potter gave me and other fans. I won’t let her. And I am grateful that there are Potter cast members stepping up to denounce her. I love Harry Potter. JKR can go jump in a lake.

#my thoughts #harry potter #jkr is a terf

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tazwren · 5 years

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The Price of Vindication - Who Pays It?

05.Jul.2019

I've been wanting to say this for a while now, but always stood down from doing so. However, recently, I've seen an increase in the number of instances of bullying of writers and artists from within the fandom, Reylo or otherwise, and it's become difficult to stay silent, to stay divorced from the situation.

We may all tell ourselves that it doesn't really matter what we say or do in an online forum, whether through our tumblr posts, or tweets or Instagram comments or Ao3 comments, or whatever your brand of poison is. After all, it's all virtual, words in the ether, no harm done, no-one getting hurt. Or maybe we just don't care if does end up impacting someone.

The reality is, there is no separation of self. Not for you, not for me, not for anyone who creates an avatar to front us on here. Every single one of our online presences carries the essence of who we are as people. Which means that everything on here is us - good, bad or ugly. And we are all flesh and blood and real. And absolutely capable of being hurt by, getting angered or saddened by, being triggered by solely virtual incidents.

This isn't a game of SIMs.

When we say or do something on here, intending malice, it has very real repercussions on a real, live person at the other end of that screen. And sometimes, those people are incapable of dealing with that malice, the toxic words, the poison that is thoughtlessly spewed at them.

It doesn't matter whether the diatribe was valid or warranted or 'he/she asked for it with what they said' or 'how dare they do that'. It doesn't matter.

Why? How can I even say that?!

It doesn't matter because none of us know what the other is going through. Or in what state of mind and body they are. Or what blew up in their real lives. It doesn't matter because you have no way of knowing whether your words, written to show your anger or dislike or self-righteousness, will be the final straw or not.

Are you willing to live with being vindicated if the outcome is someone being so affected by it they try to kill themselves? Is the price of being right worth paying? And who really pays it?

I'm sure you're thinking: Oh, come on, surely you exaggerate! All of this 'I have mental health issues' talk is a play for attention!

Is it?

Do you know that for sure?

Would you stake your life on it?

Then, why are you willing to stake another's?

So what if someone is being what you think of as immoral, or an 'attention-whore', or likes the wrong ship, or is just plain wrong? So what?

Did you or a loved one lose blood over it? Are you losing money over it? Did someone get physically hurt? Did your house burn down? Did you lose your job because of it? Did they take your food away from you and leave you starving? Did they?

Then, why does it even matter?

Why are you, we, all of us so willing to jump on the first thing we can to attack the other person? Oh, the words needn't be aggressive for them to do the job. Why are we so willing to give in to the baser impulses that bay for another's blood? Why are we so willing to be our worst selves, online, as though it has no bearing on who we are?

Am pretty certain many of you are wondering why I even care, why I'm lecturing you, and boring tf out of you when all you want is something spicy on your timeline.

If the stronger of us don't stand up for those who can't, those who feel weak or attacked, then what even are we as a society? So-called friends who are so willing to drop likes and tweets and heart GIFs and 'OMG, ILYSM's all over social media, but are unable to stand for those who really need it, when they need us?

I have spent too much time on suicide watches, too much time talking people back from depressive states, from self-harm, from tanking in their very ability to function, to think that words have no impact.

It is more important to do right than to be right. It is more important to have empathy for a faceless stranger than to have the last word. It is more important to understand that everything you say and do has a consequence than to go 'I have a right to say this, idgaf what you think'.

It's highly possible this post is going to be scoffed at, ignored, passed on by. However, I do hope it makes atleast one person stop and think before firing off the next hateful message - what if someone you know is at the receiving end of something like this? What if one of your own was receiving anon hate? What if your friends or family were being hounded by poisonous posts, anon or otherwise? What if it was your skin in the game?

It costs nothing to do nothing. It hurts no-one to be kind. The price of vindication, on the other hand? It may be more than you're willing to pay.

Think about it.

27.Oct.2020 Note :

It's come to my notice that this post, which was I originally posted almost a year ago, maybe more, is being perceived by some to be targeted at them personally or as an attack on them and whatever they may be involved in currently. I want to underline that this was written as a public statement, to people in general and a fandom at large. It was never targeted at any one person and was instead meant to help open all our eyes to some the offline life consequences of our online actions. I would also like to say that if you felt this was pointed at you personally for any reason, it may be worth pausing to think about what made you feel that way. This piece was and is intended primarily to make everyone think and is not a commentary on any one person.

#im serious #no bullying #anon hate #anonymous #words have power #reylo fam #reylo #star wars #fandom #be kind #don't like don't read #kindness #kindess costs nothing

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promisenolies · 5 years

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So... I never want to forget what BTS Chicago Night One was like... the pictures and video will help that I got.. but I wanted more. Something concrete...so I wrote this:

I have sincere doubts that I’ll ever be able to accurately describe what going to BTS’s Speak Yourself show in Chicago on May 11, 2019 meant to me. Part of being able to convey why it was such a life-altering experience for me would include y’all having an understanding as to why I love these guys so much, what their music, and general existence means to me. And that, is a task that is beyond my capabilities…but I’ll try.

I didn’t know what I was missing. I shrugged my daughter off when she’d try to tell me about them or get me to listen to their music. I didn’t understand why anyone would listen to music outside of their native language. How do you even enjoy it? But then…in July…I heard Fake Love on the radio while on my way to a Hanson String Theory show. Something about it called to me. I jumped in and started reading lyrics (as the message is always my number one concern—after having a good groove/sound) …and I fell in love. –Do you know how hard it is to find a great beat and fat bass WITHOUT sexually degrading lyrics? Damn near impossible until BTS for me. Instead of ‘bitches, hos, money, drugs, and pimping’ they’re singing about chasing dreams, rejecting status quo, finding home with those you love and who love you, about love, relationships, and connection. They sing a wide range—pop, pop/rock, rap, hip-hop…it keeps my many moods quite satisfied. Their music fully transcends language. You can just FEEL it, so deeply, so wholly, you don’t need to know every last word to get the message.

Then, I fell in love with THEM. I fell in love with their message of loving ourselves, speaking our truths, of not trying to meet anyone else’s expectations, to do what makes YOU happy. They are so engaged, humble, gracious, and kind. They’re funny and dorky. They’re reflective and intellectual. They’re driven and talented.

Yes, they’re a “boy band.” Yes, they dance and wear ‘costumes.’ But these boys also write and produce their own stuff (with others as well…but still—active participants!) and always sing live. They give 110% for a minimum of two hours-even to the point of getting sick/passing out/injuring themselves.

And the fan base!! Holy mother! Sure I feel a little isolated here in small town MN in my love for these boys (aside from my kid, my cousin’s kid, and a few friends of theirs) but the fan base is MASSIVE. And incredibly welcoming (for the most part). There’s drama of course—I mean, there are at least 20 million of us. But it’s pretty easy to stay out of and find people to connect with. It’s one thing to know there’s a network of us online… it’s a completely different thing to experience it.

Which, I guess, brings me to this past weekend. After a roughly 8 hour drive, we arrived in Chicago. Right away, the streets were sprinkled with ARMIES—BTS and BT21 gear proudly worn and displayed. A sense of belonging and home seeped in. And that’s not a new sensation for me, as I’ve felt that every time I went to Tulsa, or Back To The Island or any other Hanson event/show. It’s a beautiful feeling. We got checked in and decided to head to Soldier Field as the merch lines were already open and apparently essentially non-existent. The field area had a small number of ARMY milling about, nothing too crazy. We stopped and took a picture of a few BTS banners, then found the merch area. And yeah, after less than a half hour later we were at the front of the line, mostly certain of our merch choices. I pretty much wanted it all, but had to limit myself. We wandered a bit more, and that’s when it finally started to sink in…I was in the same city as seven men who had altered my emotional well being over the last 10-11 months, I would be seeing them LIVE in around 12 hours. I was quickly overwhelmed and started to cry. It feels somewhat embarrassing to say, and I don’t even fully understand what it was that overwhelmed me so much. The rest of the evening was pretty chill—grabbed some dinner and mentally tried to prepare ourselves for the next day.

The next day we went back down to Soldier field—equipped with layers and an umbrella because the weather was turning cold and rainy. When we arrived we knew we made the right call by going to get merch the afternoon before because the merch line was RIDICULOUS – we’re talking thousands of people in line. There were multiple merch locations—all with the same size lines! But we wanted to get pictures done at the BTS Studio – a very neat little booth where you get to “interact” with one of the guys via a sort of hologram like thing, but the pictures turn out so freaking legit I was dying to get one. ….however….BigHit/Mattel (I don’t know who made this call..but!) cut off the general line after we waited for two hours. There were at least a couple hundred more behind us waiting, as well as about a hundred in front of us, and there were five hours left before doors opened to the stadium so it literally made ZERO sense to cut the line. BTS SOLD OUT Soldier Field (roughly 70,000 seats) and they only allowed 250 general people into the studio (there were more QR holders—which tons of ARMY tried for an only a few got) … it was a disaster. I suppose I would have been less angry had it not been so ungodly COLD out. We certainly did not plan for 40 degree weather in MAY.

We decided to hop an Uber and go back to the hotel until showtime. After lunch we drove downtown to check out the BTS Pop-up Store situation, and then made a quick decision to avoid that line as it literally wrapped around an entire downtown Chicago city block – INSANE—but beautiful. So, back to the hotel. The weather was not clearing up, and I was starting to worry about the show—both for our comfort but also and more importantly the guys’ safety. Wet stages are slippery and these boys don’t hold back, the risk of injury was high. So, we joked and tweeted a bit about how Yoongi (Suga) needed to say out loud that he wanted the rain to stop and skies to clear because anything Yoongi says out loud tends to happen – saying he wanted BTS to win daesangs (Korean absolute top awards – they now have 15 from 2016 to 2018) saying he wanted to go to the Grammys (and they presented at this year’s Grammy Awards) saying he wanted Billboard top 200 (done) Billboard top 100 (done) A Billboard Music Award (done x4 – three top social artist and this years top group award). So we called on Yoongi to say he didn’t want the rain… and while the boys may have said it was the power of ARMY that cleared the skies I still say it was Yoongi.

When we got into the venue another rush of realization hit me when I saw how CLOSE to the stage we were. I may have missed out on the VIP tickets (thanks to the stupid ticketmaster app freezing on my phone) but level 100 was INCREDIBLE. Absolutely astounding really. We got our ARMY Bombs paired to our seats and then waited. They play music videos while we wait, and it was amusing to have fans scream for those as well – and indicative of how insane it was going to be once all the fans were in and seated because it was loud even with just around a few thousand inside. My brain still couldn’t quite comprehend that I was about to see BTS live, that I was as close as I was, and that it wasn’t a dream.

The thing about it is…once it started, I had no idea what to do. Do I watch the stage, do I watch the screen, do I not try to capture any video or pictures and just dance, sing, and scream? I tried to do all of those options, but I still feel like I missed so much. I feel like it all went so quickly.

They opened with DIONYSUS – from their new album Map of the Soul: Persona. A heavy hitting, party-anthem type song. A great opener to get the crowd hyped up (as if we needed the help) The pyrotechnics warmed it up a bit when they went off (holy shit we really were close!) The stage was amazing! Large silver leopards behind them, Greek pillars adorning the sides…totally fitting of Dionysus.

They transitioned straight into NOT TODAY—another heavy hitter for bass, power, and intense choreo. Theses guys BURST into their stage presence, taking no prisoners and leaving us all breathless and trembling. The sensation of hearing tens of thousands of other fans screaming with you, singing with you, and doing fan chants for the guys…well, that’s a feeling I’ve never felt before.

My first round of tears started when they did their introductions/welcome speeches. Let’s be honest, I’m Jimin biased through and through. He will always hold the biggest part of my heart out of the seven. And, honestly, I thought he was the most beautiful being I’d ever seen…but to see him in person…holy mother, there is no comparing it. He’s absolutely ethereal. An angel just walking among us. But each of their moments touched me, made me smile or laugh or just bask in the feel of love they send to us. And then…WINGS. I was so excited to know that they were performing Wings as it’s one of my favorite songs and I worried I’d never hear it live since it’s an older one. My teary-eyed state did not go away once they started it, even though it’s an upbeat song. There’s just something about BTS singing about facing fears and chasing dreams, having their wings spread and taking them to where they want to go…feeling that it was the work of ARMY helping them get there…but I know for a fact that ARMY also feel that BTS are our wings too—the way we feel encouraged and empowered to live authentically and without apology, to chase dreams and find our passions.

A small break and then we got J-Hope’s solo JUST DANCE Hobi is a great entertainer, clearly loves the stage and his passion for dance is legitimately felt through the entire stadium. After J-Hope we got an iconic performance of EUPHORIA by Jungkook. Kookie is stunning! Absolutely beautiful. He goes from adorable baby bunny to professional rockstar in half a second. His vocals are solid and his choreo locked down. But who thought up the crazy idea of hanging onto a giant hook-like-thing and just soaring over the crowd on a cable!? My mama bear heart struggled with that, fam. But he did great and seems to really enjoy it so we’ll let it pass.

BEST OF ME!! Ugh, another song I was DESPERATE to hear live and worried I never would. A stellar performance! The energy was still high with them and us, everyone singing along and dancing. So many of their songs are “one of my favorites” but this one definitely is. And I was GIDDY hearing it live. And yes, the answer call between Jimin and Jungkook was a highlight.

Clear the stage, play a quick video… and then… SERENDIPITY. This experience STILL feels like it didn’t happen. Jimin singing live… wow… just… I lack words to express Jimin and his performance. His choreography is always some of the most intricate and demanding and yet he does it flawlessly while maintaining his angelic vocals. He didn’t get the title main dancer by chance. The level of professionalism is incredible. You can tell he feels so loved by ARMY, his smile is so genuine and gracious as he’s absorbing all our cheering and screaming…and yeah, maybe a little bit of sobbing. He’s a soft, sweet person and an absolute powerhouse on stage—even with a ballad such as Serendipity.

And then RM brings us back up in energy with his solo LOVE. They’re all great performers, and RM is no exception. It’s hard to capture a good picture of him because he’s constantly moving on the stage, making rounds to every corner. Another beautiful moment to be chanting “salam salam salam (person person person) and salang salang salang (love love love)” with tens of thousands of fans… it’s quite overwhelming.

BOY WITH LUV is like a blur for me. They all looked AMAZING. I loved the mix of pink and blue clothing. I probably missed a ton of moments through that song because my brain short circuited, I tried to get some pictures but the movement is so constant that not many of them turned out. Strong vocals, a ton of fun together, an all around great performance.

From the newest to some old school – DOPE followed Boy With Luv. I love the energy and power in Dope. I also loved the cute little moment I got on video between Jimin and Jungkook. Dope blended into BAEPSAE and FIRE … this medley is INSANE. I LOVE watching the guys freestyle their dancing and then effortlessly joining formation and nailing the song’s choreography. It’s stupidly impressive. JHope jumped out and attacked us all with some power dancing and then the dreaded/desired hip thrusting.

I got absolutely zero pictures or video from IDOL because I was so enraptured by them on stage. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. It was pretty neat as Idol faded out, they went back to the top of the stage then went full in to the Idol choreography again. Like a second dance break when it appeared the song was over. Another small break and then Tae (V) comes out in pajamas on a freaking bed. The crowd lost their minds. It was a stunning performance of SINGULARITY, and I’m really hoping I can find video of the small dance break he has in it where he flung off the jacket. Sometimes Tae fades a little into the background but this performance wasn’t one of those times.

After Singularity we got a seamless transition into FAKE LOVE—another song I have zero pics or video from because the whole thing was an experience. Seriously. Damn. From the strong, solid vocals to the hard hitting, precise choreo, to the passionate fan chants…Fake Love was perfection. …And do I really need to mention Jungkook’s abs? Oofta. I was utterly enraptured by this performance. Also, since Fake Love was the comeback I came into the fandom during, it holds a unique place in my heart.

I don’t remember Fake Love ending, but I do remember the next song starting. SEESAW. Shit. Again, I shall remind you that Jimin is by bias—always has been always will be. But I’d be a bold-faced LIAR if I tried to say that Yoongi isn’t the most amazing performer I’ve ever seen. They are all phenomenal. But Yoongi has something extra. Something you don’t expect from him. He often flies a little under the radar, not often the highlight of red-carpet appearances or interviews, fairly soft-spoken. But when he hits the stage—watch out! Min Yoongi was BORN to be on stage. Even with a softer song, and less intense choreography Suga owns it. He commands all attention. He’s claimed in the past that he can’t “sing”, since he’s a rapper, but Seesaw (and First Love—his solo from Wings) prove otherwise. Gorgeous. I was speechless, and a bit teary watching him.

And if I wasn’t already an emotional mess by then, Jin gets the stage to perform EPIPHANY. Oh my heart!! This was a song that when I first heard it, my heart and soul KNEW it was intense and it touched me instantly. And then, when I listened again with subs/lyrics I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown. Epiphany live was like the first time all over again. And to be surrounded by tens of thousands of other fans singing “I’m the one I should love…” Well, cue me crying. A message of needing to love yourself before being able to find love with anyone else…well that’s a message we all need to take to heart. A stellar performance. An emotional experience.

But then! Then you know what they did!? When we’re already emotional hot messes? They go into THE TRUTH UNTOLD. Whhyyyy!? Why would you do that to us!? The Truth Untold is a transcendent song, no way around it. A song about feelings of inadequacy, of being rejected if people knew who we really were, hiding behind masks because we’re so afraid… God, just rip out my heart. And our dear vocal line (Jimin, Jungkook, Jin, and Tae) were so lovely and beautiful and somber. The song has no choreo, no fancy stages… just four guys singing their absolute hearts out.

Cue the rap line (Suga, RM, and JHope) coming to pull us from our emotional state with OUTRO: TEAR. Oh lord, as it started there was a woman the row behind us who asked her friend, “what song is this?” and her friend was so offended! She screamed, “Tear, bitch!” It was slightly hilarious. All three rappers dominate the stage, and having never been to a live rap show before, I gotta say the ability to maintain the flow at the speed they do is impressive. TEAR flowed into MIC DROP and ooooooh how I lost my mind! MIC DROP was the song that really got me to jump into the BTS scene head first. It’s always been a favorite, will always be a favorite. I tried to get video, but I couldn’t stop dancing so it’s pretty bad video. (also, no one wants to hear my horrible voice fan chanting and singing along) The choreography to MIC DROP kills me. The choreo (and the song itself) just screams “we’re badass and we have no apologies” so get on board or get the hell out.

A small pause so that they could set up the guys’ giant Anpanman bounce house! ANPANMAN has always been a fun song and a great live performance, but it hit a new level when you get to watch the guys play on a giant bounce house. It’s easy to forget how young they all are and how much of their youth they kind of missed out on as they chased this dream. I mean, Jungkookie is only 21 now, was 15 when they debuted. Jin, the oldest is only 26 and was 20 at debut. They lost a lot of freedom and playful years as they trained for debut. It’s freaking adorable to watch them play on stage. Even cuter when Yoongi goes from savage rapper in MIC DROP to soft and playful on the inflatable. Jungkook chased Jimin to the top, did a little dance and then they slid down (JK after Jimin though I think he had wanted to go down together)

Anpanman transitions into SO WHAT which is truly a sight to see. No set choreo, just the guys dancing along every last inch of the stage to spread their love to everyone in the stadium. Playful moments, a lot of laughter. It’s BTS being authentically them. And I love it.

We all got a bit emotional during the closing speeches. Jin being classic Jin and screaming AARRRMMMYYYY at us, “today is so cold, you know…thank you for coming out today even though it’s cold and rainy, I’d like to hug you with my warm heart” (and he hugs JK) “I actually really hate being cold, I was so happy though because I was with you, Army. I LOVE YOU ARMY!!” Jimin showing us how floored he was by our presence, soaking in our cheers—eyes wide and smile bright. “I’m so so happy today. But! I hope you guys don’t catch a cold.” He then essentially points a finger at us, daring our immune systems to go against his wishes. (the screams overtake the next part of his speech so I’m not positive as to what he said) Jimin always finishes with “I love you” and lots of hearts. Jungkook and his adorable bunny smile, acted shy when it was his turn. He starts with “…It’s been awhile. I know it’s was rainy and cold, rainy and chilly…but you warmed my heart. I hope you also felt warm energy from us. One more thing, please, don’t catch a cold. Alright? See you all again!” Suga – commanding the stage once again. “Chicago make some noise! I heard it’s actually really cold in Chicago but I didn’t know it was going to be this cold. But because of you Army, you guys melted this place. Chicago make some noise! Today’s going to be such an unforgettable day. Thank you so much for coming out today, see you tomorrow!” JHope: “My lovely Chicago!! Did we have fun today? Since it was raining hard, and cold, I was worried for you all. However, as I was watching all of you, having fun, with your smiles on your face, my worries disappeared and I gained my power back. Army, you guys are my hope, you’re my hope, thank you so much Army Chicago, see you tomorrow.” Tae: “How you feeling Chicago? Make some noise. A few days ago I had a dream about chasing some stars and this scenery was exactly my dream. I really wanted to chase and make sure to grab a star. I want to keep this scenery forever (Tae fooled me and I thought his speech was over so my video stopped)…ssshhhh…we will come again next year!” RM: (gets bundled up by Tae, fans chant KIM NAMJOON) “My parents are gonna love this.” (in response to the chanting) “Guys, welcome to the first BTS winter concert. You might catch a cold, it’s freezing but whatever, it’s special right!? It’s fresh. It’s Chicago. Is the weather a serious problem for us? So right before we get onto the stage, like during the sound check, um while we were coming to the stage it was raining a lot and like these friends and every staff were so worried that it was raining and maybe we might do the little dance not very good, so we were worried, but I told them ‘don’t worry Chicago army is going to stop the rain.’ And you guys did! Seriously you guys gave us a miracle and I love this special weather in Chicago. So when the snow comes in Korea I’ll definitely think of Chicago. …”

And then they came right for my heart and soul performing MAKE IT RIGHT and MIKROKOSMOS. Two of my absolute favorite songs off the new album. Sweet, personal, emotional. And the realization that this euphoric experience was coming to an end and I started to lose my composure during MIKROKOSMOS. “Shine, dream, smile” …always for you boys, always for you.

It was around this time that Jimin stood at the corner of the stage facing my section and started to blow kisses. And I teared up because somehow, in a crowd of thousands of people the way Jimin sends his love into the crowd every last one of us feels like the ONLY one of us at that moment in time. You just FEEL the pure love emanating from him...and it’s a feeling unlike any other. A feeling I’ll never forget.

I still don’t think, almost 4000 words later, that I’ve even scrapped the surface of how incredible that night was for me. How touched I was not just by the band, but by being surrounded by thousands upon thousands of people of all ages, races, nationalities, sexual orientations, classes, genders who love them just as much as I do. BTS is so much more than seven beautiful men who dance well. BTS is connection and love. BTS is inspiration and encouragement. BTS isn’t a phase, they’re making an impact far beyond what anyone imagined. Music with a message? It’s been far too long since we’ve had that. BTS is like a long drink of fresh water after being stranded in a desert.

BTS – Seven lights in an otherwise dreary and sad world, reminding us to find our own lights and share it with the world.

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elioetoliver · 5 years

Text

loving you is no chore, destiel fic, 2.4k

a childhood friends to lovers fic of sorts, partially inspired by this twitter exchange, and in which dean learns the value of doing chores

Parents have the remarkable ability to make breaks feel like anything but, Dean Winchester learns, visiting home after his first semester away at college. From the moment he stepped foot back in Lawrence, fresh off the tail end of an excruciating week of finals, he was put to work doing chores.

Dean, pick up your brother from Kevin’s house. Dean, wrap these presents for Ms. Missouri down the road. Dean, be a dear and buy the groceries today. Dean, clean the house. Dean, drop this pie off at Bobby’s and Ellen’s (and don’t eat any on the way!).

One task after another, until finally, finally Christmas eve and Christmas day rolled around, and all Dean was expected to do was eat and drink and spend time with his family.

But then his mother opens his bedroom door early on December 26th, tossing a roll of packing tape on his bed with instruction to “clean out your closet before I get back from work,” and he thinks MIT engineering might be a walk in the park compared to being home. Sure, he might be juggling a 21 hour courseload, a part time job at a garage, and a healthy social life at school, but at least that’s all on his own terms.

But alas, he’s in Lawrence through til the new year, and as such, subject to his parents’ every whim. Which is why he’s staring down a closet filled with clothes and shoes and relics from his past at 8 am rather than sleeping in til noon, as God intended college students to do on breaks.

He finds it between his old middle school soccer bag and the Gamecube he got on his 8th birthday, tucked in the far right corner of his closet’s top shelf. An old disposable camera, never developed. Dean has been shoving shit he didn’t know what to do with on that shelf for years now, can’t possibly begin to narrow down where this camera came from or when he used it – if he even ever did. Maybe it was Sammy’s, or Mom’s or something, packed away on accident and forgotten, lost to the ages.

He puts it in the keep pile, and continues sorting through his closet…

…For all of five minutes. At which point curiosity gets the better of him.

He picks up the little plastic camera, turns it over in his hands again and again, inspecting every inch of it, as though careful scrutiny of its exterior will reveal something about the content within. What could it possibly be? Photos from a weekend fishing with Uncle Bobby? Snapshots of a mundane suburban childhood? Moments from a Christmas from years past?

He must know.

He throws on his dad’s old leather jacket (another discovery from the depths of his closet), and pockets the disposable camera.

“Headed to the drug store,” is all he tells Sammy on his way out the house, “be back soon.”

Any excuse to avoid actually doing chores, right?

He recognizes no one from the photographs.

When he went to collect the pictures from the drug store several days after dropping them off, Dean was on edge with nervous anticipation. His mind had conjured infinite possibilities of moments from his life this disposable would unlock, and having had to wait days to find out, he would not delay uncovering the truth any longer. The moment he sat in the impala, in the store’s lot, he rifled through the photos.

They’re from a family vacation – but not his family’s.

There are shots of sunsets, palm trees, and members of a family all dressed in matching blue floral Hawaiian shirts. All of it looks vaguely familiar – the shirts in particular resonate with him something fierce – but the faces strike up no memory. There’s a smiling couple wearing leis and drinking mai tais, a little boy with shaggy brown hair and a lollipop in his mouth in just about every picture he’s featured in, and a girl a little older than him with sharp eyes and flame-red hair.

Who are these people? How old are these photos? Why were they in Dean’s possession? All of it is completely lost on him.

Until he sees his own face staring back at him from the last photo in the stack.

He’s seven, hair sun-bleached and a sea of freckles across his sunburned face. This is from the dinner cruise his family went on in Hawaii over a decade ago, his mind supplies. There’s a framed picture of him looking just like this next to Sammy down in the living room.

But in this picture, Dean’s got a stupid big grin on his face, and his arm around a boy his age with dark messy hair, bright blue eyes and –bingo– another of the matching Hawaiian shirts.

Dean remembers him vividly. His name eludes him now, all these years later, but he remembers that he had been sitting at the table next to the Winchesters, and between every course of the meal the two of them wandered around the deck and the dining room and disrupted the other passengers with their incessant, delighted throes of laughter. He remembers how the boy’s blue eyes would crinkle at the corners when Dean said something funny, and how he tilted his head in confusion when Dean made Star Wars references. Most of all, he remembers how the big gummy smile the boy wears in the photo, when Dean saw it in person, made his heart flutter and his knees go weak.

It wasn’t until Aaron Bass kissed Dean in the back of the bus when they were twelve that he felt that again, and was able to recognize that the mystery boy he’d known for one night in his youth was his very first crush. He thought about him still, on rare occasion, and though time had erased his features and the finer details of his personality, Dean never forgot that feeling.

And now, seeing his face again, Dean accepts two truths: 1, he has always had excellent taste; 2, he really wants to know where this kid is now. Part of him wonders, perhaps even hopes, that maybe he hasn’t completely forgotten him, either.

He snaps a picture of the photograph, and tweets it along with the caption: “Hey twitter, I met this guy on a dinner cruise in Hawaii in 2006. We were basically best friends for that night and I never saw him again. I wonder what he’s up to. I need y’all to help me find him so I can see how he’s doing now.”

He's not expecting much success, but he’s got no name or anything else to work with. Probably this is his best shot.

Dean woefully underestimated the power of Twitter.

Three days later, his plea to find the boy from the dinner cruise has been retweeted over 20,000 times, and has amassed several hundred replies from people wishing him luck and asking if he’s found him yet. He’s begrudging the fact that, no, he hasn’t, when he refreshes the page and a new reply appears.

It’s a photo of a man holding a framed picture of his family of 5 in matching Hawaiian shirts. The frame obscures part of his face, but his ethereal blue eyes and messy hair perfectly match those of the boy in the picture, and there’s no doubt in Dean’s mind that it’s him.

Even with part of his face covered, it’s clear that time has been kind to him. He was cute as a kid, but he’s devastatingly handsome now.

“Heard you were looking for me ;)” the tweet says, and the name on the account reads “Cas.”

“Man, you have no idea,” Dean mutters. He retweets Cas’s reply, then scopes out his profile.

He’s barely finished reading Cas’s bio, which proclaims, “Berklee ’22. Apiarist. Star Wars Enthusiast. Expert Napper.” before he’s sliding into his DMs.

“Hey man!” Dean writes. “Glad I found you. Looks like we both go to school in Boston!”

Dean keeps folding his hands on the table in front of him, then unfolding them when, moments later, they go clammy. He keeps fidgeting. And checking the time. He should’ve ordered a calming tea or something, instead of coffee.

Really, he shouldn’t be this nervous. He’s been on lots of dates, and it was Cas who asked him out, having beat Dean to it. They’ve been talking nonstop since Dean messaged him, and he has no reason to expect this encounter will go poorly. Cas is handsome, funny, and easy to talk to. They’ve got loads of common interests, but enough varied ones to keep things interesting. On paper, Cas is perfect.

Dean is terrified he’s gonna blow it. This reunion of theirs feels impossibly significant to him. He has the chance to reconnect with his first childhood crush who, by some miracle, is also into guys and now lives in his city. It’s like the stars aligned to make this happen for him and there’s so much riding on this meeting and so much pressure for it to go well and Dean has never been so nervous in his life.

Cas interrupts Dean’s mounting panic by walking into the coffee shop. His coat collar is popped against the wind, though his cheeks are still flushed pink from the cold. He scans the crowd for Dean, eyes lighting up in recognition when he spots him. He smiles that same big, gummy smile that absolutely besotted Dean as a kid. It has the very same effect now. As he walks over to Dean’s table, he shrugs off his heavy winter coat, only to reveal –

“You’re kidding,” Dean blurts out when Cas reaches the table, which is not at all the fist thing he wanted to say.

Cas raises an eyebrow, and is evidently biting back a grin. He drapes his coat over the back of his chair. “That bad?”

He’s wearing the blue floral Hawaiian shirt. It’s dated and tacky, and it’s wholly ridiculous attire for winter in Boston. But somehow, unfairly, Cas looks good. The shirt is tucked into his skinny jeans, the sleeves are cuffed, and it is unbuttoned about halfway. Anyone else would look like some wasted indie front man wannabe, but Cas looks hot.

And Dean, despite all reason, thinks he might be in love. “No just,” he laughs, “I can’t believe you’re wearing the shirt.”

Cas shrugs, sliding into his chair. “I wanted you to be able to recognize me. Though to be fair this one’s my dad’s. Mine hasn’t fit in a good 10 years.”

“Wearing your dad’s duds to a first date? Real sexy, Cas.”

“Well, you know,” Cas presses his palms against the tabletop, leans forward ever so into Dean’s space, “how long it’s on me it is entirely up to you.” He then leans back into his chair, ever so coolly, like he didn’t just proposition Dean in a busy coffee shop at 11 am.

Dean’s throat goes dry. He wants so badly to divest Cas of the shirt right now, but instead he says: “Later. But first,” he reaches into his coat pocket, and from it produces the envelope of developed photos. He slides them across the table.

Cas picks up the envelope carefully, then flips through the photographs in quiet reverie.

Dean watches as he takes them in, delighted to see Cas beaming as he looks through them all.

“I was so upset,” Cas says, eventually. “I remember getting back to the hotel that night and realizing I didn’t have the camera anymore. I thought I left it on the boat. Thank you. I cannot believe I’m seeing these right now.” He tucks the photos back in the envelope, then, in turn, tucks it into his own coat pocket for safekeeping. He then fixes Dean a look heavy with intrigue and sincerity, “And I cannot believe I’m seeing you again.”

Dean blushes under the weight of his gaze. “Me neither. I’m just sorry it took so long. I didn’t even know I had the camera ‘til a few weeks ago.”

Cas shakes his head. “It’s ok. I’ve got them now. And anyway,” he winks, “I’d say it was well worth the wait.”

Eight months after cleaning out his closet at home, Dean Winchester is hanging up the articles of clothing that survived the purge next to Cas’s Hawaiian shirt in their shared closet in their new Boston apartment. He’s admiring his work when warm, gentle palms cover his eyes. “I want to show you something,” Cas says. He presses a kiss to the back of Dean’s neck. With Cas’s guiding words and careful steps, Dean lets himself be taken into the living room, where he is eventually stopped. “You ready?”

“Born ready, sweetheart.” Dean says. But when Cas takes his hands off Dean’s eyes, reveals his surprise, Dean realizes he was not ready at all. The wall in front of them is covered with framed photos of their friends and family, and at the center of it all is the two of them, seven years old on the dinner cruise.

His heart swells at the sight of it, and he’s overwhelmed, as he often is, by how much he adores this man. He turns around, pulls Cas to him in a desperate, bruising kiss.

Cas pulls away infinitesimally, rests his forehead against Dean’s. “I take it you like it?”

“I love it.” Dean confirms. He kisses Cas’s cheek. “And love you.” His jaw. “So fucking much.” His neck. “Gonna prove it to you, baby.” He palms his boyfriend’s dick through his jeans.

“Later,” Cas says through a moan, and pulls Dean’s hand away. “Later,” he repeats, a bit more sobered and with far more conviction, “I’ll hold you to that. But first we have to unpack the kitchen stuff.” He kisses Dean once more, then saunters off to the kitchen.

There was a time in Dean’s life not long ago when he would have contested that assertion. He’s on break, after all, and only for a few days more. His second year of college starts up Monday. He should be relaxing, for the most part, and only exerting himself to have very noisy, enthusiastic sex with his boyfriend in their new apartment.

But really, he knows he’ll never lament having to do chores again.

In fact, he owes the very best part of his life to them.

#destiel #destiel fic #my writing #friends to lovers #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural fanfiction #college au #idk #this whole thing is silly #sorry #hope u like it #destiel college au #sort of #childhood friends to lovers

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weekinethereum · 5 years

Text

January 11, 2018

News and Links

Constantinople is coming. [Also, this is the January 11, 2019 issue but I can't fix the title without breaking links]

Upgrade your clients ASAP! EF FAQ and blog post. From MyCrypto, what users need to know about the Constantinople fork

Layer 1

[eth1] Rinkeby testnet forked successfully. Update your clients ASAP!

[eth2] What’s New in Eth2

[eth2] Latest Eth2 implementer call notes

[eth2] Validator economics of Eth2. Also a thorough Eth staking ROI spreadsheet model

[eth2] Discussion about storage rent “eviction archive” nodes and incentives

web3foundation, Status and Validity Labs update and call for participants on private, decentralized messaging, a la Whisper

Layer 2

Live on Rinkeby testnet: Plasma Ignis - often called “roll up” - 500 transactions per second using SNARKs for compression (not privacy), no delay to exit, less liveness requirements, multi-operator. Check out the live demo.

Georgios Konstantopoulos: A Deep Dive on RSA Accumulators

Canto: proposed new subprotocol to allow sidechain-like subnets

Fae: a subnet by putting Fae’s binary transactions in the data field

A RaidenNetwork deep dive explainer

Can watchtowers and monitoring services scale?

Counterfactual dev update: full end to end implementation of Counterfactual with demos and dev environment will be live on Ropsten in next 2 weeks

Stuff for developers

Embark v4.0.0-beta.0

Ganache v2.0.0-beta.2

ZeppelinOS v2.1

Updated EthereumJS readthedocs

Solidity CTF: mirror madness from authio

Solstice: 15 analyzer Solidity security tool

EVM code fuzzing using input prediction

Compound’s self-liquidation bug

Gas Stations Network, an incentivized meta transaction relay network, live on Ropsten

Understanding Rust lifetimes

How to quickly deploy to Görli cross-client testnet

Maker CDP leverager in one call

Codefund2.0 - sustainability for open source project advertising without 3rd party trackers

RSA accumulator in Vyper

Analyzing 1.2m mainnet contracts in 20 seconds using Eveem and BigQuery

0x Market Maker program. 15k to run a market making bot on a 0x relayer

POANet: Honey Badger BFT and Threshold Cryptography

Ecosystem

Afri’s Eth node configuration modes cheat sheet. A great accompaniment to Afri’s did Ethereum reach 1 tb yet? The answer is obviously no, state plus chaindata is about 150 GB.

MyEtherWallet v5 is in beta and MEWConnect on Android

Ethereum Foundation major grant to Parity: $5m for ewasm, light wallet, and Eth2

Enterprise

What enterprises need to know about AWS’s Blockchain as a Service

2019 is the year of enterprise tokens?

Governance and Standards

Notes from latest core devs call, includes ProgPoW section. On that topic, IfDefElse put out a ProgPoW FAQ including responses from AMD and Nvidia. Also check understanding ProgPoW from a few months ago

Martin Köppelmann on the governance protocol of DXdao

Pando Network: DAOs and the future of content

EIP1682: storage rent

EIP1681: temporal replay protection

ERC1683: URLs with asset and onboarding functionality

ERC1690: Mortability standard

ERC820 Pseudo-introspection Registry Contract is final

ERC1155 multi-token standard to last call

Application layer

Demo testing on Kovan testnet of the Digix governance platform

Brave at 5.5m MAUs, up 5x in 2018. It also got much more stable over the year, and being able to use a private tab with TOR on desktop makes it a must (mobile has been a must for a long time). Here’s my referral code if you haven’t switched yet.

I saw some warnings about tokenized US equity DX.exchange that was in the last newsletter. I have no idea if they are legit or if the warnings are in bad faith but the reason that Szabo’s “trusted third parties are security holes” gets repeated frequently is because it is true. If you choose any cryptoasset that depends on custody of a third party, caveat emptor.

Origin now has editable listings and multiple item support

Nevada counties are storing birth and marriage certificates on Ethereum

Scout unveils its customizable token/protocol explorers for apps, live on Aragon and Livepeer

Veil prediction markets platform built on 0x and Augur launches Jan 15 on mainnet. Fantastic to see the app layer stack coming together. Not open to the USA because…federal government.

Gnosis on the problem of front running in dexes

Status releases desktop alpha, v0.9

Interviews, Podcasts, Videos, Talks

Joseph Lubin on Epicenter. Some good early Eth history here.

Curation Markets community call

Ryan Sean Adams on the case for Ether as money on POV Crypto

Nice Decrypt Media profile of Lane Rettig

Q&A with Mariano Conti, head of Maker Oracles

Andrew Keys on the American Banker podcast

Austin Griffith 2018 lessons learned talk at Ethereum Boulder

Starkware’s Eli Ben-Sasson and Alessandro Chiesa on Zero Knowledge

Nick Johnson talks ENS and ProgPoW on Into the Ether

Tokens / Business / Regulation

Paul Kohlhaas: bonding curve design parameters

Ryan Zurrer: Network keepers, v2

Zastrin to sell a tradeable NFT as a license to use its blockchain dev courses.

Sharespost says it did its first compliant security token trade of BCAP (Blockchain Capital). Link opens PDF

Actus Financial Protocol announces standard for tokenizing all financial instruments.

Missing DeFi piece: longer-term interest generating assets

Gemini’s rules for the revolution on working with regulators.

Blockchain Association proposes the Hinman Standard for cryptoassets

Blockchains LLC releases its 300 page Blockchain Through a Legal Lens

China released restrictive blockchain rules including censorship and KYC

Why Ether is Valuable

General

ETC got 51% attacked. Coinbase was first to announce it, though it appears the target was the gate.io exchange. Amusingly, the price hardly suffered. The amazing thing is that a widely known and relatively easily exploited attack vector like this didn’t happen during bull market when this attack could have been an order of magnitude more profitable.

Michael del Castillo tracks the supply chain of an entire dinner using blockchain products like Viant

Julien Thevenard argues Ethereum is on par or safer than Bitcoin in terms of proof of work.

Coindesk video interview of the creator of HODL. He isn’t at all convinced by Bitcoin’s new “store of value” meme. Very entertaining use of 8 minutes.

That very odd Bitcoin nonce pattern. Phil Daian says it is caused by AntMiners

Researchers brute force attack private keys of poorly implemented ECDSA nonce generation.

Dates of Note

Upcoming dates of note (new in bold):

Jan 14 - Mobi Grand Challenge hackathon ends

Jan 10-Feb7 - 0x and Coinlist virtual hackathon

Jan ~16 - Constantinople hard fork at block 7080000

Jan 24 - List of things for Aragon vote, including on funding original AragonOne team

Jan 25 - Graph Day (San Francisco)

Jan 29-30 - AraCon (Berlin)

Jan 31 - GörliCon (Berlin)

Feb 7-8 - Melonport’s M1 conf (Zug)

Feb 15-17 - ETHDenver hackathon (ETHGlobal)

Mar 4 - Ethereum Magicians (Paris)

Mar 5-7 - EthCC (Paris)

Mar 8-10 - ETHParis (ETHGlobal)

Mar 27 - Infura end of legacy key support (Jan 23 begins Project ID prioritization)

April 8-14 - Edcon hackathon and conference (Sydney)

Apr 19-21 - ETHCapetown (ETHGlobal)

May 10-11 - Ethereal (NYC)

If you appreciate this newsletter, thank ConsenSys

This newsletter is made possible by ConsenSys.

I own Week In Ethereum. Editorial control has always been 100% me.

If you're unhappy with editorial decisions or anything that I have written in this issue, feel free to tweet at me.

Housekeeping

Archive on the web if you’re linking to it: http://www.weekinethereum.com/post/181942366088/january-11-2018

Cent link for the night view: https://beta.cent.co/+81o82u

https link: Substack

Follow me on Twitter, because most of what is linked gets tweeted first: @evan_van_ness

If you’re wondering “why didn’t my post make it into Week in Ethereum?”

Did you get forwarded this newsletter? Sign up to receive the weekly email

#Ethereum #blockchain #crypto #Cryptocurrency

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thelifedocumentor · 4 years

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Reflecting on Solange’s artistic masterpiece, A Seat At The Table

When I was at the of age 17, in my final year of high school, I listened to a few albums that were pivotal to my evolution as a black woman. These albums set me on a trajectory of understanding myself and the world I live in. One of these albums was A Seat At The Table by Solange Knowles. The album helped me make sense of so many things that I wasn’t able to articulate into words at the time. When I listened to the lyrics, it became an unspoken synergy between the music and my mind. The purpose of this piece is to reflect on this artistic and cultural masterpiece. With strikingly appealing visuals, that may make you overlook the depth it weighs, I unpack how it paid homage to black people, black womanhood and what inspired Solange on her journey to creating it.

It’s been 4 years since Solange Knowles released A Seat At The Table and it is more relevant than ever. The album was welcomed well and achieved great success in the industry such as the Grammy Award for Best R&B Performance for "Cranes in the Sky". However, it packs so much historical significance in an honest and relatable way. Solange paid homage to her roots and family’s history. She translates all of her life's experiences, frustrations, victories, views of the world into the art, and still gently encourages us to rise above it all. The way she was able to intersect the eras of her life and current social issues makes the album contemporary but still defies the limitations of time.

Through symbolism in her imagery and documentation of critical conversations in the interludes, she makes cultural references that urge us to go back and interrogate history. This is exactly why I love it when musicians revisit their origins because you have to decode the message and you can’t help but dig deeper which enlightens you. Especially if you didn't have the opportunity to traditionally study African history, art, philosophy, literature, or social anthropology – subjects which are the foundation of understanding our existence. Some of these conversations are painful and resonate with most of us, but we are forced to tackle them because they are in our spaces and are constantly woven into our lives’ phases.

Solange sings in a very harmonious and spiritual nature. It can be felt that Raphael Saadiq was the executive producer because the album has soul. And then some of the songs have an uptown funk groove. Solange draws inspiration from spirituality and metaphysics as we have seen in her overall creative direction.

The album has a lot of interludes in between the songs, which thoughtfully provide background and paint the scene of what inspired the song. Solange sets the tone with Rise as the first song on the album - which I think is perfect that she began with that song because it’s about channelling your light. It almost serves as a metaphor for how she began rising above it all by writing this music. Rise begins softly while her words dance on the beautiful percussion. The central theme is not crumbling under the heaviness of the world, she motivates us to rise and prosper. It then moves on to Weary whereby she admits she is tired. She is tired of being strong and having to hold it all together. Even the way she pronounces her words, represents how weighed down she has been feeling, she expresses all these anxieties but in a way that sounds so heavenly. Solange then continues to narrate all of these pains in great detail on Cranes In The Sky. She documents her process of coping. She sings in such an angelic way you might even think she is trying to romanticize her struggles, but through all of these methods, she was still aspiring to be free. The more she tried to escape, the heavier she would feel. When she says, “Sometimes I don’t want to feel those metal clouds” , she yearns for freedom. Although the song is sombre, it offers solace to artists who often have to romanticize their pain in the virtue of creating art because, in the process of creating, they also heal others who are seeking a sanctuary.

Don’t Touch My Hair and Mad address the way black women’s struggles are downplayed in society. Don't Touch My Hair is so relevant because we see our hair as our crown. People often feel so entitled to intrude and touch it mindlessly – sometimes without even permission. When Solange says “Don’t touch my hair”- it’s not just hair but it’s about so much more of our existence as black people. She and Sampha sing so softly, “Whatcha say to me? Whatcha say to me” and I love that part. She’s standing up and going “Hey, don't violate me, don't dehumanize me. Don't intrude my space.” When you have an encounter like that, you feel pulled in between the tensions of “Would my personality be perceived as overbearing, am I being too much if I reprimand people who make me feel uncomfortable. Or should I call it out?” Sometimes you summon the courage to call it out, and then sometimes you don’t call it out - just praying it doesn't happen to you again. So it's really powerful when she says that. She is taking control of her autonomy. She is communicating that it okay to set boundaries. The music videos for Don’t Touch My Hair and Cranes In The Sky have a dreamy and ethereal aesthetic.

We move onto Mad which features Lil Wayne. In Mad, Solange is saying don’t gaslight me when I speak of my suffering as a black woman. “Why are you always so angry?” Solange says I have a right to be angry. And it is highly justified. Just because it might be outside of your reality, it is my reality. So my pain should also be treated with the same level of urgency and preciousness as any other person. I have a right to be soft and delicate. Throughout A Seat At The Table, Solange offers a sanctuary for black women while she uses it as an instrument to make her voice heard.

I also really appreciate how For Us By Us is a song for black affirmation. This art was made by us, for us. This is important because I believe nobody can tell your story better than yourself. She describes so many different microaggressions that black people face in society. She breaks them down in detail. Solange sings, “When you driving in your tinted car and you're criminal, just who you are, but you know you're gonna make it far.” That was incredibly significant because it’s saying no matter how much you have been disrespected and you’re angry about it, you have a story to tell, you’re a child of the stars. You are going to make it far because your vision is larger than life, it’s larger than everything that tries to suppress your voice. Solange says you’ve taken so much from us – but why don’t you value us? And then The Dream sings, “Don't clip my wings before I learn to fly. I didn't come back down to Earth to die.” The message is don’t suppress my voice when I am trying to rise. However, we can even delve deeper into that because if someone clips your wings before you’ve learned to fly – they’ve taken away your power before you were even able to recognize it. So that you aren’t aware of your brilliance. And then lastly, the song I will discuss is Where Do We Go which is towards the end. Where Do We Go is a plea to repair our society. In the songs and interludes, she describes these issues and tensions but now she begs us to move forward by taking action to improve these issues. It is a crucial inquiry because ultimately we have to make conscious efforts to progress in the present and mold a better future. Nobody has all the answers, we are all trying to figure it out as a collective, but we can try every day. Her storytelling encourages us to rise above it all and accept that it’s okay to not have all the answers.

In a 2016 interview with Tom Breihan for STEREOGUM, Solange shared her inspirations for her album which I will now be unpacking in depth.

The killings of innocent black people in America under law enforcement served as catalysts for change. Solange made references to these events and draws in knowledge from her parents’ experiences as well. Solange revisited Lousiana and Creole for her healing and desire to connect to something bigger, and she ultimately was inspired by this pilgrimage.

Artistically, Solange was inspired by Mark Rothko’s collection at the Menil Museum in Houston, Citizen – An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine which is a book-length poem about everyday racial struggles in America. When I discovered this, I went back to read some of Rankine’s poems and she is incredible. She combines visual art, quotations from artists, and scripts. One quote by Claudia Rankine that stood out for me was "I love language because when it succeeds, for me, it doesn't just tell me something. It enacts something." When you read that doesn’t it just embody Solange’s vision with her album? She was also inspired by Robert Pruitt, Lynette Yiadom Boakim, and Fire Shut Up In My Bones by Charles Blow. Musically, Solange was inspired by Syreeta Wright’s Black Maybe, D’ Angelo’s Africa, Kanye West’s “We Major.” That influenced the sound of her horns and piano in the album. Vocally she was inspired by Master P and No Limit Records, Minnie Riperton, Tweet’s Southern Hummingbird and Lauryn Hill’s I Get Out. Many songs on the album encapsulate her soul-funk sound that characterized her music style from her early career.

Spiritually, Solange was inspired by Sun Ra and Alice Coltrane to channel a higher frequency in the album. Let me tell you something super crazy about these two Jazz composers. Their music is spiritual right, however, I didn’t know about Sun Ra. When I researched Sun Ra I discovered that his themes were afro-futurism, cosmic philosophy, and spirituality. The only Jazz composers I was exposed to whose music was spiritually influenced were Alice and John Coltrane. And in terms of poets, in South Africa, I was exposed to Credo Muthwa. So to come across Sun Ra was crazy to me because not only was he pioneering the Afro-futuristic school of thought, he also inspired Petite Noir and Rharha Nembhard – the Noirwave on their Afro-futuristic creative executions. Also what is super crazy is that Sun Ra was also born on the 22nd of May – which is my birthday! I mean – can this get more supernatural?

Afro-futurism is an entirely different ideology, and it could be a topic on its own but the fact that Solange can rope in these diverse teachings into her music is truly admirable. Overall, sonically the album is therapeutic – the way she arranged the songs and the harmonies - she pieces together all of the musical influences she loved growing up. I am sure she made every single person who contributed to it proud because she elevated to a different plane.

We don't fully understand ourselves - I don't think any artist does because by creating, you are trying to understand your world and heal from your pain. And it just so happens that others find healing in it too. Your journey is constantly unravelling. You read books, engage with art, have enriching conversations. You are forced to stretch outside of your comfort zone and spiral into new layers of awareness - all of these things shape you. And sometimes the only way you can move forward is by creating art.

Fundamentally, A Seat At The Table is an ode to black women. As younger black girls are growing up, we need to expose them to iconic works of this nature. So that they are empowered in ways that some of us weren’t growing up. It is one to be studied for generations to come because the themes are just that momentous.

A Seat At The Table is one of those albums that you have to revisit now and then. You know get some books that are classic masterpieces, you read them once. And then you engage with them again when you're a little bit older. When you read them again, it feels so new as if you have never read it before - and that’s simply because you are revisiting it with a richer understanding. You have gained new experiences and your horizons have expanded.

I hope I have inspired you today to revisit this album. If you haven’t listened to it before, I hope that you enjoy it and that you bask fully in that magical experience.

Images from the A Seat At The Table Digital photobook, courtesy of solange music. References: https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/22482-a-seat-at-the-table/

https://www.stereogum.com/featured/solange-shares-her-inspirations-for-a-seat-at-the-table/

https://www.solangemusic.com/

#solange #Zesintu Mgobhozi #blackart

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iol247 · 4 years

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Battleground social media: How disinformation, propaganda and manipulation shape our online discourse

From Putin, Trump and Zuma directly to your screen – or via a myriad of intermediaries – the goal is the same: influence. In this multi-part series we explore how disinformation and propaganda flood our timelines and unmask some of the players involved.

18 May 2020 - Susan Comrie, Micah Reddy and Sam Sole

To live in the 21st century is to be manipulated.

From local mayors to Russian intelligence agencies to energy lobbyists and presidents, those seeking to boost their political power and influence increasingly turn to the dark arts of propaganda and disinformation to distort our world-view and further their agendas.

But these actors often rely on subterfuge, meaning that investigating the original source of disinformation is a bit like searching for a black hole: it cannot be seen, only inferred by watching how its gravitational pull re-arranges the universe.

Similarly, without a smoking gun – like the Bell Pottinger emails from the #GuptaLeaks – we can rarely see who directs disinformation and propaganda; we can only infer who may be responsible based on whose interests it serves and the faint trails it leaves in the political ether.

In South Africa, there is growing evidence that our social media space is manipulated by a wide range of actors: from the international white right to the fan club of former president Jacob Zuma.

For example, in recent years we have seen the rise of anonymous Twitter accounts, vocal activists and obscure non-profits that have taken to the streets, the courts and the pages of social media under the banner of “radical economic transformation”.

A mix of true believers, manipulators and opportunists, these groups raise genuine grievances about South Africa’s racially-skewed economy but also help to spread dangerous disinformation aimed at energising their base and targeting their perceived enemies.

Is there a hidden gravitational force pulling their strings? Is there a common goal that unites the defenders of former president Zuma with those championing economic reform and the energy lobby that is pushing for a Russian nuclear deal while also fighting to protect coal? Are there puppet-masters pulling the strings?

Armed with new evidence, including hundreds of messages from WhatsApp groups, we went looking for answers. This is what we found.

Chapter 1

The first missile hit at 1pm precisely.

“#HandsOffNUMSA. The Racist AmaBhungane is going after NUMSA because NUMSA has been vocal in its opposition against Independent Power Producers and has been winning Cases in Favor of Workers and Against Capitalists.”

The person holding the grenade launcher was Shampene Mphaloane, a young, dedicated proponent of radical economic transformation (RET). But at the time, we only knew him by the Twitter handle Superblack (@hostilenativ).

During the rest of the day – 20 September 2018 – he would send another 20 #HandsOffNumsa tweets, calling us “Stratcom”, “Racist Agenda setters” and “vile White Monopoly Capital bulldogs”.

Online abuse has become routine for amaBhungane since the first pro-Gupta trolls started targeting us on Twitter in 2016. What was unusual this time was that we were getting abuse before we had published our investigation.

Superblack (@hostilenativ): “AmaBhungane is drafting a Story to tarnish the reputation of NUMSA due to NUMSA’s opposition towards the IPPs and Privatization of Eskom. #HandsOffNUMSA”

Three days before, on 17 September, we had sent detailed questions to both Numsa general secretary Irvin Jim and the chairman of the Numsa Investment Company, Khandani Msibi. By 20 September, Superblack (@hostilenativ) not only knew about our questions, but knew who had sent them.

Superblack (@hostilenativ): “This is the Stratcom Agent behind the Propaganda Campaign against NUMSA and its General Secretary Irvin Jim. He always surfaces wherever the Interests of White Capital are at Stake. His name is Micah Reddy. He is also on the Soros Funded R2KCampaign #HandsOffNUMSA”

To which former ANC MP Tony Yengeni responded both menacingly and nonsensically: “Ive saved his face for the rainy day..”

***

The first thing Mphaloane wanted to know when we tracked him down was how we managed to link him to the Superblack (@hostilenativ) account.

We explained, then confronted him about the #HandsOffNumsa campaign.

“I didn’t necessarily run the campaign… I provided my opinion to the article,” he told us.

“[T]he investigative journalist at the time … sent a couple of questions to … a lot of people who were mentioned in the article, and they started to circulate the questions to quite a number of people, myself included. So, I started to comment around the article that was going to be published.”

Union sources confirmed that amaBhungane’s questions were circulated on WhatsApp. But evidence suggests Mphaloane was not just casually expressing his opinion.

Of the 41 tweets posted that day using #HandsOffNumsa, half came from Mphaloane’s Superblack (@hostilenativ) account.

So who is Mphaloane and why did he rush to Numsa’s defence?

***

The first time we heard Mphaloane’s name was when the newly-formed SA Natives Forum approached the Western Cape high court in February 2018, seeking to permanently stay the corruption charges against former president Zuma.

SA Natives Forum was registered eight days after Zuma resigned, and it waited just one day more before filing a 420-page application arguing that all criminal charges against Zuma should be dropped.

Mphaloane was both a director of SA Natives Forum and its spokesperson.

“We are an independent, non-partisan, social justice foundation and think tank. And that implies we are not related to any political party and we are independent,” he told the SABC’s Bongani Bingwa during an interview a month later.

“We’re not in touch with the former president at all,” he added.

On the question of who was funding the pro-Zuma case, Mphaloane was coy: “In so far as who’s funding us, we will release an audited financial statement at the end of the financial year…”

That never happened and Mphaloane now says that their lawyer, Lucky Thekisho, agreed to work on contingency: “Their argument was, if we win this, then we can try and get a cost order.”

Although Mphaloane studied chemical engineering, his CV describes his work at SA Natives Forum as “developing and managing a social media outlet … as well as providing advocacy and managing campaigns that are of national interest”.

By July 2018, he was looking for new opportunities. “My background is engineering but now I’m looking for anything so I can fund the struggle,” his Superblack alter ego tweeted.

***

Shortly after Superblack’s #HandsOffNumsa Twitter offensive, Mphaloane changed his LinkedIn profile to reflect his new job: claims specialist for 3Sixty, the life insurance company owned by the Numsa Investment Company and chaired, like its parent company, by Msibi.

Two weeks later, in mid-October 2018, amaBhungane published the results of its investigation – Numsa cornered by capital? – alleging that Msibi used his position at the Numsa Investment Company and its financial resources to gain political influence in Numsa, pushing both the union and Jim, its general secretary, closer towards the Zuma faction.

Once again, Mphaloane hit back:

Superblack (@hostilenativ): “Forces of Imperialism are not happy that NUMSA has a thriving Investment Arm that can fund NUMSA’s litigation against IPPs so this is how lauch their attack. Mass media propaganda. #HandsOffNUMSA”

What followers of Superblack were not told was that he was being paid a salary by the company he was defending.

We put it to Mphaloane that it looked like he was using an anonymous account to attack his employer’s perceived enemies. “Where am I attacking? There’s a difference between attacking and responding to an article… I just have my own opinion which I’m expressing.”

We put this apparent coincidence to Msibi too: “I know Shampene but I didn’t know [Superblack] was his account,” he claimed before doubling down: “AmaBhungane did write a story about me … you had a campaign against me.”

Is it plausible that Msibi was unaware that he had such a prominent RET champion working under his roof?

Access the documents we used for this investigation, by clicking on the Evidence docket.

Two sources from the Numsa Investment Company told us that Mphaloane and Msibi had a close relationship – although both denied it. One incident both sources recalled was when Mphaloane’s work laptop was stolen, and Msibi personally intervened to ensure he received a replacement.

But in a group with 1 200 employees, that kind of personal attention stood out.

Msibi did not deny this but explained: “Shampene … didn’t have a laptop because his was stolen and some senior person resigned and his was available. I was not going to get a new laptop bought when there was a laptop lying around of a senior person. Why can’t he use it?”

***

“A lot of things are just coincidental,” Msibi told us. “Shampene, if he is [Superblack], I don’t think he has that many followers to actually be having any impact online.”

In fact, Superblack (@hostilenativ) has more than 32 000 followers, making Mphaloane an influential voice on Twitter and an amplifier for his politically outspoken boss, whom he regularly retweets.

Before and after: Superblack (@hostilenativ) was one of the most popular accounts on RET Twitter. It was deactivated last week after amaBhungane started asking questions.

“[I]nitially when I started this account, I just wanted to give my own view into things… But it was not my intention to remain anonymous, I was not trying to hide something,” Mphaloane told us.

But a few days after our phonecall, the Superblack (@hostilenativ) account was deactivated.

The evidence suggests that Mphaloane used his Twitter alter-ego to target Numsa and Msibi’s perceived enemies.

The question is, would he do the same for the pro-Zuma lobby?

What we would discover is that a WhatsApp group had been set up with this in mind.

https://amabhungane.org/stories/battleground-social-media-how-disinformation-propaganda-and-manipulation-shape-our-online-discourse/

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thedivinefish · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and new moon, new month, new year, new decade...

TGIWednesday News

Well it’s a new moon, new month, new year and new decade. If you can’t feel the excitement I am sending some to you as you read this now. Keep the faith in all things going forward and know that I will be here along with my team and your ethereal team to smooth out the rough spots and bring more light and harmony and goodness into this so called life! I am praying that every aspect of your life improves and not just how you want it to, but in more expansive ways than you ever thought possible. We're putting the final finishing touches on our new Audio MP3 for Attracting a Financial Windfall. Should be a great boost to get your new year off to a roaring and improved financial start.

TGIWednesday Download

~ EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that it is safe and comfortable for me to express my feelings without worrying about hurting myself or others. I am ready, willing and able to adopt new grounded and safe feelings and release those which are no longer of service to me. I know, when, where, how and why to accept where I am now, releasing the past and leaning forward into a prosperous future throughout all space and time, in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TOMORROW January 30th from 4-4:30pm EST as I will be the guest on Dare to Be Authentic with host Mari Mitchell.

https://www.lifecoachmari.com/radio-show

Tuesday February 11th at 2pm EST/11am PST, I have been invited to be a special guest speaker on the Straight Talk for the Soul Show with host Cari Murphy a place where you can participate in the Most Transformational Dialogues on the Planet! Register here now! Wed. February 19th Quantum Conversations with Lauren Galey - Register Here Thurs. March 12th Wisdom of the Ancients with Ian Shelley - Register Here Mon. March 19th You Wealth Revolution with Darius Barazandeh - Register Here Thurs. April 9th Soul Talk with Patty Malek - Register Here Wed. May 13th The Alara Canfield Show with Alara Canfield - Register Here

Turn On Your Love & Romance Switches!

Join me Wednesday February 12th at 7:30pm ET | 4:30pm PT which will be all about Turning on Your Love and Romance Switches! Whether you're dating... single, married, divorced, or whatever your status is.... you can join us on this special LIVE Zoom event to create more love and romance in your life ..... just in time for Valentine's Day.

Register here now: https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/love-romance-switches Secure your spot for JUST $22 (replay sent via email)

Don't forget to email [email protected] your specific request for what you would like cleared or strengthened for turning on your Love & Romance switches. Find out more about Switches and purchase previous calls here.

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

JANUARY 29th "Today I will relax into my heart center using my fist in front of my chest to signify my heart. I will give a thumbs up to signal an open statement of my desire or what I want to happen. I will flick out the other 4 fingers one at a time after stating each open ended question. I will breathe out at the end and watch how miraculous events unfold in ways that are as entertaining as they are mystical."

From the Fish Box

"Thank you, Jimmy! It is wonderful to have you in my Life, as a guiding PRESENCE! Blessings to you always." - Annie K. "Yes a week has passed and I would like you to know that I have not had a single headache or migraine (which I have suffered with my entire life). I am increasing my water intake gradually. I will definitely plan another session. Thank you and kind regards." - Theresa J.

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

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Sessions at the Tampa Office

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Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 38$ / 30-minutes 68$ http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family. Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails of thanks each and every week!

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day.

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! All Mastery Students: Check your email & Login to view all the newly upgraded content including new books and audios!

"Jimmy's My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple program is AMAZING!!! He gives you not only videos so you can see the changes within people, but also the books he's written as well! On top of that he's provided all the links and visuals you need so ANY type of learner can do it!! I appreciated having it to download in a PDF so I can go back to it any time, plus the books and ACTUAL healing sessions so you see, know and understand the whole process even better!!Highly recommend to ANYONE looking to change and make not only their life... but everyone's around them better as well!!" - E.J. / Florida

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

divinefishingtips · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday and new moon, new month, new year, new decade...

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TOMORROW January 30th from 4-4:30pm EST as I will be the guest on Dare to Be Authentic with host Mari Mitchell.

https://www.lifecoachmari.com/radio-show

Turn On Your Love & Romance Switches!

Register here now: https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/love-romance-switches Secure your spot for JUST $22 (replay sent via email)

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

From the Fish Box

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

EVERY TUESDAY at 9pm EST / 6pm PST CALL (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR JANUARY & FEBRUARY:

Sessions at the Tampa Office

SEE ME AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

I'm scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments at Kodawari Yoga Studios from 10am-2pm EVERY FRIDAY. UPCOMING DATES

Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 38$ / 30-minutes 68$ http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day.

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! All Mastery Students: Check your email & Login to view all the newly upgraded content including new books and audios!

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

365dailyaffirmations · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday and new moon, new month, new year, new decade...

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TOMORROW January 30th from 4-4:30pm EST as I will be the guest on Dare to Be Authentic with host Mari Mitchell.

https://www.lifecoachmari.com/radio-show

Turn On Your Love & Romance Switches!

Register here now: https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/love-romance-switches Secure your spot for JUST $22 (replay sent via email)

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

From the Fish Box

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

EVERY TUESDAY at 9pm EST / 6pm PST CALL (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR JANUARY & FEBRUARY:

Sessions at the Tampa Office

SEE ME AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

I'm scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments at Kodawari Yoga Studios from 10am-2pm EVERY FRIDAY. UPCOMING DATES

Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 38$ / 30-minutes 68$ http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day.

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! All Mastery Students: Check your email & Login to view all the newly upgraded content including new books and audios!

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

advancedthetapractitioner · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday and new moon, new month, new year, new decade...

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TOMORROW January 30th from 4-4:30pm EST as I will be the guest on Dare to Be Authentic with host Mari Mitchell.

https://www.lifecoachmari.com/radio-show

Turn On Your Love & Romance Switches!

Register here now: https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/love-romance-switches Secure your spot for JUST $22 (replay sent via email)

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

From the Fish Box

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

EVERY TUESDAY at 9pm EST / 6pm PST CALL (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR JANUARY & FEBRUARY:

Sessions at the Tampa Office

SEE ME AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

I'm scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments at Kodawari Yoga Studios from 10am-2pm EVERY FRIDAY. UPCOMING DATES

Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 38$ / 30-minutes 68$ http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day.

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! All Mastery Students: Check your email & Login to view all the newly upgraded content including new books and audios!

LEARN MORE HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes