#I was trying to find my emote

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Vine_Boom.mp3

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #song lan #a-qing #xiao xingchen #xue yang #The scene where Song lan sees Xue Yang is supposed to be dark and dramatic but there's something about the whiplash of emotions- #-that makes me lose my mind!! That's *HIS* bestie!!! Back off bitch!! #Poor guy wandering around for years looking for his amiguito only to find him with the guy that split you apart in the first place #XY wasn't even trying to flaunt it on purpose. He was just vibing with XXC at the wrong time. #I also love A-qing for being quick on the uptake that these two are so similar its practically like a mirror image. #This also mirrors song lan's first/last appearance with the bff sundae. XY finally gets his revenge (having a domestic life with a bff). #((XXC has no idea what the t-shirt says. He just needed a spare. I like to think XY sewed and embroidered it personally)) #I will get into my xue yang thoughts more later but...man I will always wonder how things would have gone if song lan never showed up #xxc never should have run away (out of shame for causing SL harm). It was always going to cause more harm... #Dont worry SL. XXC still misses you. Some bonds cannot be broken even if time and distance pull you apart.

[nikysavi]

daughter's/father's found hope

#wiki said that lilies-of-the-valley symbolize hope and consolation so I imagined that #block sees clara as a person who can help him to end war and fight ptb; clara sees him in that way too #but they also could find an emotional support from each other as well? and a hope for a better future they can build together #but it's all very sad too... esp what goals they're trying to achieve. esp that block sees her as saint. #that clara was betrayed and the only adult she can somehow depend on is like that #so. think whatever as you wish. my thoughts are a bit fuzzy yeahh #pathologic #pathologic classic hd #pathologic 2 #мор утопия #alexander block #clara saburova #clara the changeling #александр блок #клара сабурова #клара самозванка #crtani

[kaijukebox]

Oscar is infiltrating the sketch page, they are both scruffy in my heart and mind 🫡

-

No refs today!

But have some context under the cut!

#i hope this finds the malevolent people because I’ve been MIA in the fandom 😅 #but also I hope it doesn’t cause all these hugs rn are a MESS while I try to catch up! #Oscar is my new emotional support animal except he’s causing me massive amounts of emotional distress over his well-being #let’s call this the ‘Oscar survives whatever traumas Harlan is about to put him through and Arthur and John get to keep him around’ AU #amen 🙏 #malevolent #malevolent podcast #oscar malevolent #john doe malevolent #arthur lester #ft a matcha latte #100hugs2023 #hug 82/100 #hug 83/100

[talesfromthebandgeekmafia]

I gotta say I do absolutely adore that Fig Faeth who’s entire relationship with romance up to that point is tied to deception finds her match with a person whose defining trait is her honesty

#like Fig has never kissed anyone as herself before Ayda she’s always trying to at least convince her friends she’s hiding her emotions #her life is completely upturned by her parents’ romantic relationship imploding because of a deception by her mom #and the loving partner she finds is someone who will always be candid with her #I’m really going insane over figayda tonight they’re just so perfect for eachother #I need Ayda to come back in Junior Year like I know in my heart it’s gonna happen but I need it to happen sooner #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fhsy #figayda #ayda aguefort #spilling the Tea

[heynhay]

so stay with me, hold my hand, there's no need to be brave

#once again tumblr user heynhay finds a way to make this about mitski #klance #voltron #vld #keith kogane #lance mcclain #i have one or two other mitski songs plucked in my brain. might just do one from each album #im trying to pick slightly more niche mitski songs in order to forward my evil agenda of creating more fans of her #is this a weird part of earth or some fucky wucky alien planet? u decide. choose ur own adventure #the emotional premise is the same #art #my art #mitski

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!! #and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

[gettownsburnmoney]

im gonna be honest i love maryann (obviously) but i won't be happy until gorgug gets a boyfriend

#also she's 2 ft tall and i can't get it out of my head lmfao #I know some of y'all are into that but #fhjy #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year spoilers #gorgug thistlespring #i need more people on the ragh/gorgug train #what's that ship called #thistlerock #? #I don't know but where are my ppl #also i do support a fling tbh but i feel like gorgug doesn't need another miniature barbarian girlfriend with problems expressing emotions #i care about this too much i'm 25 years old and the 2 things on my mind are a fictional teen's relationships and trying to find a fiduciary #em speaks

[transingthoseformers]

Still obsessing over Megs wanting to carry sparklings. I can imagine some bots thinking it's just a weird joke/phase he has and just laughing about it. Meanwhile Megs gets upset and sad when he gets denied any attempt to get knocked up or hear anyone says things about how he'd be a terrible mother. Some bots make comments about how "his body wouldn't be fit to carry" even tho he's got them thick thighs and birthing hips-

Anyway this probably makes no sense fbndnd just really thinking about angsty Megs who rlly wants to be a mommy

I can see this and in this scenario i can see Megatron going on and on about how they shouldn't restrict the right to carry post war, I'm really feeling a "g1ish megop develops post war" thing here as I've seen a fic of that and it was great

Or

Tfp megasound where they got sidetracked from their quest

Or

Mtmte megarod, post good ending

#''they were wrong to say that_ you make such a good carrier'' #i can see rodimus lazily tracing megatron's frame while they lie together as they talk about their future now #in my mind the good ending us going very well so far (... so far) in that scenario #imagining there's emotion behind old school primes and fertility there_ I've talked about that before #that works for the g1ish megop situation too #in the tfp megasound idea soundwave found out through time that no_ it wasn't a phase_ it was something Megatron truly wanted #and he promised himself he'd find a way to rend the universe in two if it meant fulfilling that wish and proving the haters wrong #and_ with the autobots on the run and an energon surplus on earth_ it was a relatively good time to try #sorry for adding good post material to the tags #suggestive #mildly so #maccadam #transformers #tfp megatron #mtmte megatron #g1 megatron #g1 optimus prime #tfp soundwave #mtmte rodimus #megop #megasound #megarod

[revasserium]

write. it doesn't have to be good, it doesn't even have to be a story. write a sentence, a fragment, a phrase, a thought. write something. write anything. write.

and be proud of yourself that you did.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #reminders to self #i've been so busy and exhausted this past week that i've been beating myself up over the fact that i haven't written or read anything #but... i've been living; i've been sitting with my exhaustion #trying to find words to describe it; i've been meeting new people and doing new things #i've been learning to apologize when i say something terrible to someone i love #and aren't these all things that aid in writing? in creation of any kind? #to feel the full spectrum of human emotion -- that's the most important thing for a writer #to feel things so you can take those feelings and experiences and put them in your writing #and in that vein im writing lil headcanon things for zoro and sanji #and also for tears of themis babes LOL #🌧 raindrops

[13eyond13]

Please tell me about art and media you know of that accurately captures the weirdness of dream logic and atmosphere and emotions... books and movies and video games and art and comics and YouTube stuff, whatever you want... you know, where it only makes sense on an intuitive level and falls apart when you try to explain it...

#im trying to think of examples #a great one is mullholland drive by david lynch #also actually some of david firth's (salad fingers guy's) sock series animations did that so well for me back in the day #like you know where something or someone or a place can be two things at the same time in the dream? #and how something weird and silly can have the strongest serious emotions attached to it #and how stories within stories happen #eternal sunshine of the spotless mind #was good w these vibes #silent hill 2 as well and sort of majora's mask #the book orlando #actually you know what i just rewatched a bunch of david firth's cartoons and Pulch: The Good Times is actually a better dreamlike one #than some of his dream series to me somehow #the way it has this wistful tragic nostalgic nonsense vibe that like you'd probably find deep and sad while having the dream #but upon waking it both makes no sense and seems stupid and funny instead if you were to try to explain it #also the nightmarish one about soup or wtv #when the little person gets all upset about her soup being stolen hahaha and then the creepy guy goes 'you forgot your hammer' #anywayssss #many of these things have stuck in my head since like 2007 or wtv idk theyre just fun #Sock 4: Sock Lops is good for the weird narrative jumping dream logic vibes #if you can stand to watch that much 2000s newgrounds edgy animation in this day and age... #p

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

roman and gerri in season four, a summary--

4.03:

roman: hi :) gerri: NO

later

gerri: hi :) / :'( roman: NO

later

roman: hi :) / :'( gerri: NO

4.04:

gerri: hi :) roman: NO

4.05: gerri: hi :) roman: NO

4.06: gerri: NO roman: NO

4.07: roman: hi :) gerri: NO

4.08: (gerri not present; roman rebounds, destroys democracy)

4.09 (deleted): gerri: hi :) roman: hi :) roman: wait roman: NO

4.10: roman to onscreen gerri: hi :) roman to irl gerri: NO gerri: 👀

#i find it oddly pleasing how they keep ping-ponging back at shooting each other down and then trying to reach out #like it just tracks so well as a really depressing emotional snowball rolling down a hill #always lowkey thinking about my nemesis aka the agonizing merciless perfection of romangerri season four #dollsome's deep thoughts #roman x gerri #romangerri

[kiisaes]

the thing about deku is that dudebros hate him until he's doing something stereotypically GOAT-worthy like acting like a badass and evading the law and not letting his emotions slip through and it's like... yes. he did do that. he does do that. and that's probably why dudebros latch onto him nowadays because they want to be him, especially because so many of them think that deku and ochako and/or other female characters are destined to be together (through entirely shallow reasons) — but they miss the point.

his inability, or rather his lack of desire to, unlock deeper, more vulnerable, more selfish emotions is not because he's the so-called GOAT, the pinnacle of the sigma grindset bullshit masculinity by hiding his feelings and getting results in an edgy, emotionally unavailable way. no. it's because he cares too much, not too little. he cares so strongly, so aggressively, so softly, so painfully, for the people around him. he's the idealistic version of a hero because he cares, more than anyone, to the point where he'll break his body to pieces. and he projects those emotions outward so much, he doesn't leave any of that care for himself. he chooses not to address selfish thoughts and moments because he's not the one who deserves them. which is why even when he was in his super edgy, dark vigilante look, he was motivated not by anything superficial like money or success, but his own powerful feelings towards helping others. deku is, through and through, a deconstruction of the stoic, apathetic, violence-familiar, strictly goal-oriented view of toxic masculinity. he fights and kicks villain butt because he cares. he also cries and breaks down and smiles and loves with all the warmth in his heart because he cares.

and i think it's really funny that even when deku is "the GOAT" for his surface level grindset outlook, he's still just deku. the deku dudebros would complain about for crying too much and being a wimp is the same deku as the one who selflessly defeated villains during his vigilante era. he didn't "man up" and do a total 180 mentally, he just happens to have layers to his emotional ineptitude. it fucking rocks. not like dudebros would have the brain capacity to understand that, though

#just deku thoughts #i love him very much is what i'm trying to say. i love how his emotions are his strongest feature #and also his biggest weakness #and i feel like he struggles to find the balance between caring too much and the consequences of caring too much #so he kinda shuts down his own thoughts relating to himself #aka he has very low self esteem in my opinion. man does not take himself into account #ANYWAY does this make sense? i hope it makes sense. i'm so fucking tired. life is kicking me in the balls #bnha #mha #midoriya izuku #becki rambles about stuff

[gideonisms]

the Immediate switch from "this is bearable" to "I wanna kms" any time my boss switches up the schedule by an hour at random (happens weekly)

#i feel like i am using 100% of my energy surviving and it's been that way for years #i can't think of anything better to try for. my brain just doesn't do that most of the time #i just don't even know what it would feel like if things were better or what i want #i don't have that in me #friends and family are wondering why i can't move on or set goals or get better or seem happier. and i just. #everything has to come out of something else if i do the laundry it comes out of the energy i have to go out #if i go out i lose the energy i have to feel okay while i'm at work #if i watch a show or read it comes out of my do the dishes energy #if i try to message people on dating apps it comes out of my work social energy storage and i get weird #if i do job apps or my taxes it comes out of the emotional regulation energy and i get angry unexpectedly #i just can't find a way to have more energy i have tried everything and i'm still so tired

[haunted-xander]

Another Hajime POV komahina comic bc they make me so insane

#ft. world destroyer being hajimes stand-in therapist #these two make me sooooo insane my brain is rotting #hajime wants to understand nagito the same way as nagito understood him but he finds it so difficult to actually get to that point #and hes angry and hurt and feels so betrayed but he still CARES and above all wants to know why nagito did what he did #and he wants to see him succeed but is also terrified of what will happen if he does and just #hajime has such a mix of conflicting emotions regarding nagito #but at the end of the day he CARES and wants to try to understand him if nothing else #bc nagito understood him in a way no one else has #nagito is so similar to him in a way he cant help but feel #bound to #i love love love them so much i am frothing at the mouth #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #komahina #hinakoma #danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #sdr2 #art #my art #xanders art #xanders haunting art #digital art #fan art

[sleepy-crypt1d]

i love the idea that jack is a nerd about space, why? because im a nerd about space and also that man needs hobbies and im saying it's space

#borderlands #handsome jack #trying to find hobbie hcs for him is so hard so im tossing my own in there #jack loves space!!! he loves aliens and the endless horror of the universe and space travel and has gotten emotional about the pillars #100% used to watch those “real alien sighting caught on tape (not clickbait)” grainy videos when he was a kid and get himself scared #like yes hyperion is a Gun Manufacturer i guess but also i love his interest in R&D and his knowledge of the vaults and- #-his love of the destroyer and just how invested he was in pandora #like he is a NERD and hes a nerd about the universe #plus added on my hc of his main interest in college/hyperion being immortality through technology #learned he wouldn't be around when we heard back from aliens and immediately said “alright that's my life goal now” #he'd get his hands on a guardian corpse or have one trapped in R&D and would just spend hours watching it- studying it #so in awe of something bigger then him he gets emotional over it #i like to think that hyperion has a HUGE budget for space travel advancements and universal understanding all because of him #helps that in my au his best friend is a cyborg - his daughter is magic - and his husband is an extinct species - he is living his best life