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#like you know where something or someone or a place can be two things at the same time in the dream?

cherryredstars · 2 days

Note

First off, I love you.

Second off, I love you A LOT.

Okay so I’m losing my mind over a brain vomit where younger reader’s been harboring and hiding feelings for Miguel for the sake of being appropriate and it’s starting to make her frustrated like “fuck I’m gonna get actually fucking sick and vomit” because how much she’s crushing on him is CRAZY, so reader basically goes up to Miguel like “I can’t take this anymore.” Like reject me so I can move on type of thing. “ Do me a favor, and break my nose or something. Tell me to fucking go away” or something like that. My brain is burning.

Pairing(s): Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader, John Price x civil!reader

Warnings: Fluff

A/N: For my baby, I LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!

Edited (just for you boo)

| Miguel O'Hara

If you look at him, you will actually throw up.

Like projectile 'make yourself a laughing stock' throw up. It's just the way your body- your stomach- reacts when you see him. It gets twisted, fluttery with a fix of butterflies and disgust. It's down right disgusting, inappropriate at the least. He's almost a decade older than you, yet here you are pining after him as if you're some teenage girl. You feel physically sick when you think about it for too long: throat contracting and your stomach hurting. You aren't sure which of your delusions are the cause of such a horrendous crush, but you promise you'll strangle it when you find out. There is simply no way this could have ever worked out in your favor. It's simply impossible.

Miguel O'Hara would never go for someone like you. Young and naive, haven't even reached the appropriate age to have a mid-life crisis (but you're sure this is the closest fucking thing to it). You know this, hammer it into your thick skull every day before you have to face him. Yet, it all comes crumbling down when you lay eyes on him. It takes less than a second for you to skip after him, a stupid, lovesick look flickering across your face as you help him with whatever he needs. You simply can't stay away, even if you tried. You always fall back into his orbit, gravity pushing you towards him until you're practically glued to him.

You're sure he must find it annoying. Probably relates it to something like babysitting. It's well known Miguel doesn't like to be bothered when he's working. But there you are without fail, sitting around on his platform entertaining yourself by playing with LYLA when you aren't out saving universes. You don't miss the way his eyes flick to you every now and then with some emotion you can't quite place. But if you had to guess, it's probably something close to exasperation.

In all honesty, you're tired of it.

Tired of the false hope you delude yourself into believing after every minor interaction. Tired of trying to justify your affection for the older man. Tired of feeling a bit of resentment towards yourself. You're just... tired. He must sense it when you walk onto the platform, judging by the look he shoots you.

LYLA is muted mid-sentence as he angles his body slightly away from his monitors and towards you, watching as you plop yourself in your usual spot. He waits expectantly for your usual greeting, brows furrowing with confusion when you do nothing but play with the elastic quality of your suit. You haven't even looked at him since you got in.

"Everything alright?" His all so familiar voice asks, making your stomach ache and the urge to punch yourself stronger.

"Yeah," you respond simply, silence lapping over the two of you.

Miguel waits patiently, expecting something more. But, you don't continue. Miguel hesitates for a moment before turning back around. His eyes study the screens once more, his finger hovering over the button to unmute LYLA before you speak up again.

"Can you like... degrade me or something?"

Miguel almost chokes on his spit when he turns around, not expecting you to say...that. You're still playing with your suit and staring at the floor, face painted with frustration. You look up when he doesn't answer, brows furrowed when your eyes meet his shocked face. You quickly divert your attention to his muscular shoulder, not really having the courage to face him head-on.

"Not like the... sexy kind. More like the heart wrenching kind." You clarify, not that it's any better for Miguel.

He turns to full face you this time, arms crossed over his chest as he studies you. The request doesn't really make sense to him. Why would you want him to do that? Is it some universe-exclusive culture he isn't aware of?

"Why?" Miguel asks, trying to recall your past interactions to see if they have something to do with your strange request.

"I dunno, just thought it might make it easier?" You shrug, your eyes flicking to his again and then looking towards the ceiling.

"Make what easier, exactly?"

Miguel isn't a fan of cryptic answers, but he tries to be patient with you. He watches as your face twists, unsure how to word what you're feeling. You let out a heavy sigh eventually, actually meeting his eyes and holding his gaze for once.

"To get over you."

The words cause Miguel to freeze, his body going rigid. You groan, hiding your embarrassed face in your hands and scrubbing ferociously. This is absolutely embarrassing. You wished a random portal would just appear under you, throwing you into another universe and far away from this particular moment in time.

You're so caught up in your embarrassment that you don't realize Miguel is walking over to you until he's crouched down in front of you. He pries your hands gently from your face, giving you the softest smile you have ever seen on him. His thumbs caress your wrists absentmindedly, doing nothing to calm your raging heart. It practically explodes when he leans closer, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. Your eyes are wide and dazed as you look up at him, trying to commit the curve of his mouth to memory.

"Now, why would I want you to do that?"

_____________

| John Price

You aren't exactly sure when it started.

But the moment you realized you liked John, you've started hating yourself. It feels wrong. Almost disrespectful in a way. You aren't particularly sure why, it just does. John Price is a nice man, a good man. A man that could be easily mistaken as your father if someone didn't look close enough. The man you had happened to meet and befriended one day after he had been so kind and gentle with you.

Not the man you should be liking and forcing your feelings on.

You're someone John goes to for comfort, someone he seeks out after coming home from a battlefield. Someone that's supposed to help him distress. The idea of taking advantage of that gently placed trust, of expecting something from John just because he goes to you for help, makes you want to throw up until you're nothing but a useless husk. It's shameful, eating you up on the inside until you feel like your organs are on the verge of failure.

So your solution: Avoid Johnathan Price like the plague.

Does it hurt seeing his texts flash across your phone screen, asking you if you're free throughout the week so he can spend time with you before he deploys again? Hell fucking yes. It makes you feel guilty as hell. But you try to justify it to yourself, reassuring that it's only temporary. That everything will go back to normal once these stupid feelings leave you alone and John Price goes back to being the sweet man you grab lunch with every now and then when he's home so you can catch up.

But of course, your plans never go accordingly.

You startle on your couch when there is a firm knocking on your door, your hands rushing to pause the telly to see if it was just a hallucination. But sure enough, that same steady knocking sounds again. You get up hesitantly, brows furrowed as you try to remember if you ordered take away or something. You peak through the peep-hole, hand planted on the cool wood of the door as you squint.

The alertness in your body dies away when the familiar frame of John greets you, only to tense up again. John Price is at your door. The same John price you've been avoiding for a week. The same exact John fucking Price you're practically in love with. Your hand slides down to the knob, gulping nervously as you unlock it and yank your door open.

John is standing there with his hand raised again to knock, decked out in his military gear. His hands drop to grip the strap of his vest, his mutton chops quivering as his face lifts into his soft smile. You blink up at him, feeling the knob warm under your hand and your heart slamming against your chest. Why did he have to be so handsome, goddamnit?

You step out of the doorway, silently inviting him inside. He accepts it, stepping in and examining the area out of habit. You close the door quietly after him, turning to face him as he turns to face you.

"Missed ya, love? Been busy lately?" He asks in that comfortingly rough voice of his.

You don't trust yourself to not choke on your words, scared he'll see through your lies. Instead you nod, letting out a weak hum that he returns in a more confident note. Your eyes drop down to his military gear, a frown slipping onto your face. Is he being deployed again?

As if sensing the underlying question, John's hands let go of his military vest and he stuffs them into the pockets of his tactical pants.

"Heading out tonight, just wanted to say goodbye before I go since I didn't get to see you this time around."

You feel a stab to your chest at his words, resisting the urge to lift your hand and smooth the pain.

"John..." You start hesitantly, your mouth going dry when he hums again. "Can you tell me you hate me? Or... or that you think I'm stupid or something?"

John tilts his head in confusion, brows furrowing as his lips thin. There is a silent question in your eyes, an aura of demand wafting from him that orders you to explain further. Your hand comes to rub your arm, socked heel digging into your ankle as you debate how much to tell him.

"It's just... I like you and I don't..." You sigh in frustration, turning your head away to glare at the wall. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to take advantage of how nice you've been to me or that I expect you to reciprocate how I feel."

It's quiet for a moment before John's chuckling fills the room. Your head turns away from the wall, meeting the sparkling amusement in John's eyes as he looks at you. There is a fondness there that makes your knees feel weak, your breath getting trapped in your lungs. John takes steady, reassured steps towards you, stopping when he's centimeters away. Your heart is practically lurching in your chest as you look up at him, watching as he slowly takes off his boonie hat.

Your eyes are wide as he places it over your head, chuckling when it slips down over your face before he readjusts it. He admires the sight for a second before he leans down, his facial hair tickling your cheeks as his lips press against the corner of your mouth. Your heart officially stops, your body dangerously close to swaying as he pulls away. You're in a daze as he pinches your cheek lightly, trying to call your attention away from the sparks lingering across your skin.

"We'll take about this when I get back, silly girl." He rumbles, his heavy paw landing on the top of his hat before he slips past you, closing and locking the door behind him as he disappears out of your flat. You're left in a daze as your shaky hands reach up and grasp the rim of his hat, the smell of him instantly invading your senses.

And when John reaches base and the lads pester him about where his usual hat is, he just shakes his head and replies that he left it at home for safe keeping.

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buckys-wintersoldier · 1 day

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Just a little bit where Bucky would give you everything you want.

Pairing -> Sugar!Daddy!Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x SugarBaby!Girlfriend!Reader

Warnings -> 18+, Minors DNI, smut, fingering, talking about sugar daddy

A/N -> @lanabuckybarnes because you liked it so yeah.😂😂

“Anything you want, doll? You know I can buy you whatever you want,” Bucky grins at you, his hand gently placed on your lower back. You turn your head toward him, smirking when you nod.

When you first met him, you never thought they the relationship between you two could be that perfect. Bucky picked you up when you had nothing, no money, shit job and apartment — when you were broken after your last boyfriend. He took you home with him, gave you food, a bed, clothes, everything you ever dreamed of. And it slowly went from strangers into friends and he offered you to be your sugar daddy.

First you wasn’t sure about it, but he said he isn’t looking for sex unless you want it to. He wants some company during his dinners with co-workers or just someone who watched movies with him or plays games, nothing much and you could get everything you want.

So you said yes, and Bucky learned to read you like a book, you didn’t even need to say anything and he already knew what you would like to have. You never asked for much, and even though Bucky assured you that you can have everything, you didn’t need more.

With every passing day you both came closer, the movie nights were more often, the cuddles more intimate and the talks more serious. You forgot about every shit you went through because of your ex-boyfriend.

Bucky made you smile in the highs and the lows and that never changed, not even know, not even right now when you were walking along the aisle, never! He loves you and he care about you, knowing every feeling you have just from looking into your eyes and you can do the same.

“I would love to spent the night with you, just with you, on the sea. Just we and the stars, the moon and nothing else,” you admit and Bucky chuckles softly. He thought you would ask for something expensive, but you never did, that’s probably the reason he fell for you.

Of course you asked him to get things which would cost some money, but you appreciated the time with him, and the moments when you’re just going for a walk or being on the boat on the sea so much more than everything he could buy you.

“Everything you want, pretty girl.” Bucky wraps his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you flat against his muscular front and inhaling your sweet scent. He then kisses along your neck, smirking when you giggle and squirm softly in his embrace. “Everything! I love you, so much.

“I love you too, and being with you is everything I can only dream of,” you say back, letting your head fall against his shoulder.

“Luckily it’s not just a dream. And I can show you that’s definitely not a dream,” he says, his hand sliding down your front and into your panties, causing you to moan when his fingers slide thought your already wet folds. “So perfect, already so wet and ready for me, doll.”

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skiiyoomin · 2 days

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hello! i’m not sure if you’re taking reqs so if not feel free to skip this! i was wondering if we can get a oneshot of bakugo x reader except reader is a famous jpop idol (or even a global pop star) and bakugo is a pro hero. how the rest plays out can totally be up to you but i thought this would be a unique pairing. :)

Hi hi! Yes my reqs are open so feel free to ask as much as you´d like! I looove the idea, its literally one of my fave tropes. It´s a little short but I thought it was a cute way to start a possible relationship between bakugo and reader :>

RULES !! DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK PLEASE

⤑Back to navigation

Content: pro hero! Bakugou x idol! reader, inspo from the met gala, gn! reader, swearing cause its bakugou

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Bakugou hated attending these events. The constant flashing of camera lights, the stuffiness of his suit, the obnoxious voices of paparazzi begging him to look their way. It was exhausting.

But alas, as one of the top heroes, he had to show his face more often than he´d like to and make small talk with people he could care less about. At least he´d get a few free drinks and food for the night.

As he finished walking down the red carpet and away from the dizzying lights, a figure smaller than his own bumped into him. And Bakugou in his very characteristic fashion, was ready to threat whoever wasn´t watching their step. "Oi, watch where you´re-"

The words died in his throat when his ruby eyes landed on your own. You had to be the most beautiful person he had ever seen. The luxurious fabric of your extravagant clothes complimented your features and sitted on the curves of your body just right. He realizes he was staring more than he should when your silky voice reached his ears.

"I´m so sorry!! It´s just it´s a bit hard to walk in these clothes" You admit with an embarrsed chuckle. He tsks, though there was no real annoyance directed towards you. "Can´t believe they´re making you wear something you can´t even walk in"

You chuckle feeling flattered by the concerns from someone who was so notorious for being abrasive...and devilishly handsome. "Yeah, well, you know, practicality isn´t really on top of their priority list."

To the surprise of the both of you, he holds his arm out. "What table are you assigned in?" God it took everything in him not to sweep you off your feet with the way your doe eyes were marveling up at him. You link your arm around his own. "Table three"

He hums in acknowledgement, though deep down he felt his heart hammering in his chest like a teenage boy. "Good, at least there will be a pretty face sitting with me"

It was embarrassing how quickly heat rose to your cheeks from such a common and simple compliment you heard quite often. Though it felt so different hearing it slip from his tongue. It felt genuine.

The picture you had portrayed of the pro hero Dynamight completely shattered the longer you spent the night engaged in conversation with him. He too, felt any prejudices he may have held against you for being an idol slip away. Conversation rolled easily between you two as if you had been friends for years, and for the first time in a very long time, you both truly enjoyed being there.

Of course, it didn´t make it any less exhausting. The proof being written all over your energy drained face by the time the clock struck 12 PM. Lucky you, Bakugou had a knack for being observant, so it didn´t take long before he realized how fatigued you felt, and truthfully, he wasn´t doing much better than you. He was just better at hiding it.

"Let me drive you home" It wasn´t a question, and it´s not like you had the energy to retaliate. You let him place a warm calloused hand on your waist while he led you to his car. The drive back to your home felt like it went by in a flash, though it must be because you were fast asleep.

His heart clenched when he gazed at your soft features while you were deep in slumber. But alas, the last thing he wanted was to overstep boundaries, so, albeit begrudgingly, he reached out and shook your shoulder.

"Hey, wake up, we´re here"

Your dark lashes fluttered against your cheeks before your eyelids slowly opened. It took you a long moment to gather your surroundings, but once you realized, your lips formed into a small `o´.

Bakugou thought it was a crime to look so adorable, but it´s not like he would ever tell you that. "C´mon, i´ll help you upstairs"

Once again, his hands felt just right against your body when he aided you in walking properly to your home. Everything felt like a fever dream. The way he respectfully removed any excessive fabric of clothing or the way he helped you into your bed in a surprisingly soft manner for someone so rough.

But you realized how real it was when you spotted a little note sticked to your fridge the next morning with beautifully neat handwriting saying:

"Text me xxx-xx-xx-xx"

And if anyone had seen the wide grin that spread across your face, they would have called you a simp. Maybe you were.

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madlori · 8 hours

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If the only thing you can lord over buddie is that bucktommy is canon, then you really didn't care at all about the ship.

7 seasons of being a family unit, being there for each other, having each other's back but hey! Here comes another underdeveloped love interest, but since it's a man this time, you don't care about Buck being stuck in the same hamster wheel, again, because he's kissing a man and that's hot 🙄

Also for all your doom and gloom about buddie not happening, do remember that Tommy/Eddie was an idea in Tim's mind at first, so Eddie can be read as queer, even if it's not in canon yet.

I guess you don't place much value on them being a family unit and always there for each other, and having each other's back...all of which is still true and will continue to BE true. But it's only important to you as a prelude to them kissing, right? It has no value in and of itself. I love their relationship. I love what they are to each other. But YOU are making me not want to see it, because every time they turn to each other, lean on each other, support each other, we have to listen to you shrieking BUDDIE CANON CONFIRMED or whatever, because to a certain genre of shipper (not all buddie shippers, etc) any interaction or feeling they have with each other exists only in service to the ship.

I swear to god, I'm gonna banish the phrase "hamster wheel" from y'all's mouths until I get an actual definition as to what you think it means, because from where I sit, to you it just means "he's with someone who's not Eddie." To me, it means that Buck continually fell bass-ackwards into relationships that weren't right for him, looking for something he wasn't even sure what it was. And heyyyyy, he's currently in a relationship that he actively chose and fought for, having learned something new and important about himself, with someone who makes him giddy and excited in a way we have never seen him be, who the people around him can see gives him contentment. But none of that matters, because it's not Eddie, and that is by definition his only appropriate partner, so he must still be on that hamster wheel. Also if we're going by creator intent here, Tim's said he wrote this relationship specifically to reflect Buck being off of it.

As for underdeveloped love interest? I wrote an entire ass essay about how MUCH we know about Tommy, and it's reams compared to anything we've ever known about Buck's girlfriends OR Eddie's current girlfriend who does not even have a last name. Tommy has been introduced in a way that integrates him with the 118, with multiple interests, a character arc of his own from his first appearance, a set of motivations and emotional arcs that are NOT about Buck, and something to actually offer in a relationship besides existing. Anyone saying he's underdeveloped is determined to read him as such, especially for the limited amount of time we've had him.

And I never said Eddie couldn't be read as queer. He can EASILY be read as queer. I said he WOULDN'T be. Those are two different things. If Tommy and Eddie had gotten together (which I give no more narrative weight to than Maddie and Eddie getting together, which was also a gleam in the eye at one point) I'd equally be saying that Buck would never be queer.

It's hilarious to me that I'm being accused of liking a ship because it's hot (it is, and I do, and that's...fine? there's nothing bad about that?) as if people enjoy Buddie because of the amorphous purity of it all and not at ALL because it's hot (it is and you should say so).

If my thoughts about this are so upsetting to you, just block me, dude. I promise I won't take it personally.

Also, just...learn to enjoy a ship whether it's canon or not. I've done it, we've all done it. It's not that hard, especially THIS ship, which has so much good stuff to it regardless of whether there's romance or not. Those of us who like Buck with Tommy are not taking away from you enjoying Buddie, or anyone doing so. It's not like...the State of Buddie will lose congressional representation if the population falls below a certain level. The existence of another ship does not affect yours.

#9-1-1 #evan buckley #bucktommy #eddie diaz

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dark-night-hero · 18 hours

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Imagine a regression AU with Kamisato Ayato in which thy started with a forbidden love. The two of you were trully a match made by celestia but cannot be together. They could only love each other in silence and in their own little way. Ayato was to be wed to another, your younger sister to be more specific. And you, you are just a person doing what you want, someone who had already stray away from the path that your parents wanted you to take. You had disowned your family a long time ago.

Imagine the two of you never meant to fall in love. But in the end, you did. In you he found his solace, the only person he could be his true self, away from the responsibilities and thoughts that would only tire him. To you, he was like your other half, he always understand where you are coming from, understand why you made such decisions that no one else cannot seem to understand. But then again, it was wrong. This love was right, but it was wrong. Because it causes someone else pain. So in the end, it was only meant to be that the two of you were to part ways.

Imagine, but then again. It was never easy yo let go once you met your fated one. So the two of you continue this stupid love affair until one day. You saw your own sister begging for you to let him go, using her own life as a threat if you refuse to do so. And upon realizing the fact of how forbidden- how deadly this love can be not only to you but also to those people around you. You choose to end it all. You knew for a fact that Ayato would not let you go. You could see how much to loves you, love you enough to let everything go. But you do not want that. You do not want him to let go of everything he worked so hard to have and achieve. So you left.

Imagine you left and never look back. Burried all those memories, all those love deep in your heart. Never trying to find a love like that again. And so years have passed, decades have passed and you are now on your deaths door. Thinking all about those memories you thought you have long forgotten only to resurface during such moments. As you close your eyes, you realise how terrifying love can be. And perhaps, if you were given a chance, you would not get yourself involve with him. Be it to protect yourself or to protect him. You do not know.

Imagine opening your eyes again only to realize you have came back. You have come back into the place you have never thought you will never set foot into again. Your goddamn house. The place that you hated the most. And there was also one thing, you're back into your child like state. What the actual fuck?

Imagine going back in your teenage years. Waking up into your 15 years of age was something you have never expected. Then again, maybe this was hell. For this household was like a hellish place for you. Cold and controlling father who wants to hone you into becoming the household leader even if it means all sorts of method. A caring but could not do anything to protect you, mother that upon realizing she cannot help you, to stand agaist her own husband ways of education, turn herself into caring for your siblings instead. And your sisters, those loving little sisters was all in the past, all you can see now was those girls who have taken everything you have every loved from you.

Imagine living the same pattern, letting day and night pass by. Thinking it would be wise to follow your steps the way you do it in the past. Except this time, after running away. You will never get yourself acquaintance with a certain retainer. He was bound to be wed to your sister anyway and around this time, you are also to be wed to someone else.

so Imagine the shock in your face when the person you are supposed to be wed, your childhood friend that was supposed to help you runaway was not the person you are introduce into as your fiance. "(First name) meet your fiance, the young master of the Kamisato clan, Kamisato Ayato." ??? "It's a pleasure to be by your presence, (First name)." In the end, you are left speechless by the revelation. Isn't he supposed to be your sister fiance? What changed? What's happening?

Imagine, what if this life was the life were you can finally achieve the love that was taken away- forbidden- a love that you were left no choice but to let go. But would you be willing to do so? Even if that means letting go of your dream for freedom?

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°

#dark night hero #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact angst #genshin impact fluff #poll #ayato angst #ayato fluff #ayato imagines #ayato x you #ayato x reader #ayato kamisato x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #kamisato ayato

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razorblade180 · 18 hours

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9 days of Lancaster Day 6: Hoodie Thief

Jaune:C’mon where is it? I couldn’t have thrown it far last night.

The young man paces around the apartment, checking under couches for the tenth time and his clothes hamper. Socks are one thing, but how does someone lose an entire hoodie!? Just as he was about to give up and put on a different shirt, his front door unlocked.

Ruby came casually walking in with a grocery bag in one hand and a cold drink in another. More importantly, her choice of attire was sneakers and his missing hoodie! On her it was practically a dress that stopped just above her knees.

Jaune:Aha! I’m not crazy!

Ruby:I don’t know what’s happening but saying that is never a good sign. Sleep well?

Jaune:Yeah until I woke up missing clothes!

Ruby:My bad. I thought you’d still be asleep and I wanted to make a quick trip to the convenient store.

Jaune:….

Ruby:What? Are you mad? I didn’t think you’d-

Jaune:Are you wearing anything under that?

Ruby:…Of course.

Jaune:Why’d you hesitate?

Ruby:Because I was lying.

Jaune:*red* You went out like that!?

Ruby:If I wanted to wear clothes I would be in my corset. The store is up the street. Not like I went far. Plus it’s long enough. Not to mention I can turn into literal petals.

Jaune:Yeah but…people might start thinking things. Especially if they’ve scene me wear it.

Ruby:Jaune, at least two floors of this building know your name after last night. The early morning joggers seeing me like this already know what’s going on.

Jaune:It’s still pretty bold. Anyways I need to grab something from home, which is why I’m up in the first place.

Ruby:Okay. *raises arms* You need your hoodie right? I’m done with it for now.

Jaune:…..

Ruby:…..*smiles*

Jaune:I’ll just grab a regular shirt. *turns away*

Ruby:Boooooo

Jaune:Someone slept well. You’re extra playful.

Ruby:I’m in a good mood. Seriously, you can have it if want~

Jaune:The best way to avoid temptations is not to entertain them, and I have to turn in a few papers before they’re late.

Ruby:*red*…Did you call me tempting?

Jaune:Of course! You’re like the perfect intersection of cute and sexy. *puts on yellow shirt* I will be back in an hour*

He kisses the girl’s cheek and rushes out, leaving her blushing and playing with strands of hair as she swayed. Ruby couldn’t help but giggle to herself.

Ruby:(Hehe, he thinks I can be sexy? Good to know)

#rwby #ruby rose #jaune arc #rwby lancaster #9 days of lancaster #9 days of lancaster 2024

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anominous-user · 10 hours

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Double Indemnity, Veritas Ratio and Aventurine

This was originally a part of my compilation post as a short analysis on the Double Indemnity references, linking to this great thread by Manya on Twitter. However, I've recently watched the movie and found that the parallels run much deeper than just the mission name and the light cone itself, plus as the short synopsis I've read online. Since there isn't really an in-depth attempt at an analysis on the film in relation to the way Aventurine and Ratio present themselves throughout Penacony, I thought I'd take a stab at doing just that. I will also be bringing up things from Manya's thread as well as another thread that has some extra points.

Disclaimer that I... don't do analyses very often. Or write, in general — I'm someone who likes to illustrate their thoughts (in the artistic sense) more than write. There's just something about these two that makes me want to rip into them so badly, so here we are. If there's anything you'd like to add or correct me on, feel free to let me know in the replies or reblogs, or asks. This ended up being a rather extensive deep dive into the movie and its influences on the pairing, so please keep that in mind when pressing Read More.

There are two distinct layers on display in Ratio and Aventurine's relationship throughout Penacony, which are references to the two most important relationships in the movie — where they act like they hate/don’t know each other, and where they trust each other.

SPOILER WARNING for the entire movie, by the way. You can watch the film for free here on archive.org, as well as follow along with the screenplay here. I will also be taking dialogue and such from the screenplay, and cite quotes from the original novel in its own dedicated section. SPOILER WARNING for the Cat Among Pigeons Trailblaze mission, as well.

CONTENT WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF SUICIDE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

To start, Double Indemnity (1944) is a film noir by Billy Wilder (and co-written by Raymond Chandler) based on the novel of the same name by James M. Cain (1927). There are stark differences between the movie adaptation and the original novel which I will get into later on in this post, albeit in a smaller section, as this analysis is mainly focused on the movie adaptation. I will talk about the basics (summaries for the movie and the game, specifically the Penacony mission in tandem with Ratio and Aventurine) before diving into the character and scene parallels, among other things.

—

[THE NAME]

The term "double indemnity" is a clause in which if there’s a case of accidental death of a statistically rare variety, the insurance company has to pay out multiple of the original amount. This excludes deaths by murder, suicide, gross negligence, and natural causes.

The part of the mission in Cat Among Pigeons where Ratio and Aventurine meet with Sunday is named after the movie. And before we get further into things, let's get this part out of the way: The Chinese name used in the mission is the CN title of the movie, so there's no liberties taken with the localization — this makes it clear that it’s a nod to the movie and not localization doing its own thing like with the mission name for Heaven Is A Place On Earth (EN) / This Side of Paradise (人间天堂) (CN).

—

[SUMMARY OF THE 1944 MOVIE]

Here I summarised the important parts that will eventually be relevant in the analysis related to the game.

Insurance salesman Walter Neff, wounded from a gunshot, enters his office and confesses his crime on a dictaphone to his boss Barton Keyes, the claims manager. Much earlier, he had met Phyllis Dietrichson, the wife of Mr. Dietrichson and former nurse. Neff had initially wanted to meet Mr. Dietrichson because of car insurance. Phyllis claims her husband is mean to her and that his life insurance goes to his daughter Lola. With Neff seduced by Phyllis, they eventually brew up a scheme to murder Mr. Dietrichson in such a way that they activate the "double indemnity" clause, and the plan goes off almost perfectly. Initially, the death is labeled a suicide by the president of the company, Norton.

Keyes finds the whole situation suspicious, and starts to suspect Phyllis may have had an accomplice. The label on the death goes from accidental, to suicide, to then murder. When it’s ruled that the husband had no idea of the accidental policy, the company refuses to pay. Neff befriends Phyllis’ stepdaughter Lola, and after finding out Phyllis may have played a part in the death of her father’s previous wife, Neff begins to fear for Lola and himself, as the life insurance would go all towards her, not Phyllis.

After the plan begins to unravel as a witness is found, it comes out that Lola’s boyfriend Nino Zachette has been visiting Phyllis every night after the murder. Neff goes to confront Phyllis, intending to kill her. Phyllis has her own plans, and ends up shooting him, but is unable to fire any more shots once she realises she did love him. Neff kills her in two shots. Soon after telling Zachette not to go inside the house, Neff drives to his office to record the confession. When Keyes arrives, Neff tells him he will go to Mexico, but he collapses before he could get out of the building.

—

[THE PENACONY MISSION TIMELINE]

I won’t be summarising the entirety of Aventurine and Ratio’s endeavours from the beginning of their relationship to their final conversation in Heaven Is A Place On Earth the same way as I summarised the plot of the movie, so I will instead present a timeline. Bolded parts means they are important and have clear parallels, and texts that are in [brackets] and italics stand for the names of either the light cone, or the mission names.

[Final Victor] Their first meeting. Ratio’s ideals are turned on its head as he finally meets his match.

Several missions happen in-between their first encounter and the Penacony project. They come to grow so close and trusting with each other that they can guess, understand each other’s thoughts, way of thinking and minds even in high stakes missions. Enough to pull off the Prisoner’s Dilemma (Aventurine’s E1) and Stag Hunt Game (Aventurine’s E6) and come out on top.

Aventurine turns towards Ratio for assisting him in the Penacony project. Ratio's involvement in the project is implied to be done without the knowledge of Jade, Topaz, and the IPC in general, as he was only sent to Penacony to represent the Intelligentsia Guild, and the two other Stonehearts never mention Ratio.

Aventurine and Ratio cook up the plan to deceive Sunday before ever setting foot on Penacony. Aventurine does not tell Ratio the entirety of his plan.

Aventurine convinces Topaz and Jade to trust him with their Cornerstones. Aventurine also breaks his own Cornerstone and hides it along with the jade within a bag of gift money.

[The Youth Who Chase Dreams] They enter Penacony in the Reverie Hotel. Aventurine is taken to the side by Sunday and has all his valuables taken, which includes the gift money that contains the broken aventurine stone, the jade, and the case containing the topaz.

Aventurine and Ratio speak in a “private” room about how Aventurine messed up the plan. After faking an argument to the all-seeing eyes of Sunday, Ratio leaves in a huff.

Ratio, wearing his alabaster head, is seen around Golden Hour in the (Dusk) Auction House by March 7th.

[Double Indemnity] Ratio meets up with Sunday and “exposes” Aventurine to him. Sunday buys his “betrayal”, and is now in possession of the topaz and jade. Note that this is in truth Ratio betraying Sunday all along.

Ratio meets up with Aventurine again at the bar. Ratio tells Aventurine Sunday wants to see him again.

They go to Dewlight Pavilion and solve a bunch of puzzles to prove their worth to Sunday.

They meet up with Sunday. Sunday forces Aventurine to tell the truth using his Harmony powers. Ratio cannot watch on. It ends with Aventurine taking the gift money with his Cornerstone.

[Heaven Is A Place On Earth] They are in Golden Hour. Ratio tries to pry Aventurine about his plan, but Aventurine reins him in to stop breaking character. Ratio gives him the Mundanite’s Insight before leaving. This is their final conversation before Aventurine’s grandest death.

Now how exactly does the word “double indemnity” relate to their mission in-game? What is their payout? For the IPC, this would be Penacony itself — Aventurine, as the IPC ambassador, handing in the Jade Cornerstone as well as orchestrating a huge show for everybody to witness his death, means the IPC have a reason to reclaim the former prison frontier. As for Ratio, his payout would be information on Penacony’s Stellaron, although whether or not this was actually something he sought out is debatable. And Aventurine? It’s highly implied that he seeks an audience with Diamond, and breaking the Aventurine Cornerstone is a one way trip to getting into hot water with Diamond. With Aventurine’s self-destructive behaviour, however, it would also make sense to say that death would be his potential payout, had he taken that path in the realm of IX.

Compared to the movie, the timeline happens in reverse and opposite in some aspects. I will get into it later. As for the intended parallels, these are pretty clear and cut:

Veritas Ratio - Walter Neff

Aventurine - Phyllis Dietrichson

Sunday - Mr. Dietrichson

There is one other character who I feel also is represented in Ratio, but I won’t bring them up until later down the line.

For the sake of this analysis, I won’t be exploring Sunday’s parallel to Mr. Dietrichson, as there isn’t much on Dietrichson’s character in the first place in both the movie and the novel. He just kind of exists to be a bastard that is killed off at the halfway point. Plus, the analysis is specifically hyper focused on the other two.

—

[SO, WHAT’S THE PLAN?]

To make things less confusing in the long run whenever I mention the words “scheme” and “plan”, I will be going through the details of Phyllis and Neff’s scheme, and Aventurine and Ratio’s plan respectively. Anything that happens after either pair separate from another isn’t going to be included. Written in a way for the plans to have gone perfectly with no outside problems.

Phyllis and Neff —> Mr. Dietrichson

Goal: Activate the double indemnity clause by killing Mr. Dietrichson and making it look like a freak train accident

Payout: Twice or more of the face value of the life insurance ($100,000)

Main Actor: Walter Neff | Accomplice: Phyllis Dietrichson

During the entire time until the payout, Phyllis and Neff have to make sure to any outsiders that they look like complete strangers instead of lovers in an affair.

Step-by-step:

Neff convinces Mr. Dietrichson to sign the policy with the clause without him suspecting foul play, preferably with a third party to act as an alibi. This is done discreetly, making Mr. Dietrichson not read the policy closely and being told to just sign.

Neff and Phyllis talk to each other about small details through the phone (specified to be never at Phyllis’ own house and never when Neff was in his office) and in the marketplace only, to make their meetings look accidental. They shouldn’t be seen nor tracked together, after all.

Phyllis asks Mr. Dietrichson to take the train. She will be the one driving him to the train station.

On the night of the murder, after making sure his alibi is airtight, Neff sneaks into their residence and hides in their car in the second row seating, behind the front row passenger seat. He wears the same colour of clothes as Mr. Dietrichson.

Phyllis and Mr. Dietrichson get inside the car — Phyllis in the driver’s seat and Mr. Dietrichson in the passenger seat. Phyllis drives. On the way to the train station, she makes a detour into an alley. She honks the horn three times.

After the third honk, Neff breaks Mr. Dietrichson’s neck. The body is then hidden in the second row seating under a rug.

They drive to the train station. Phyllis helps Neff, now posing as Mr. Dietrichson, onto the train. The train leaves the station.

Neff makes it to the observation platform of the parlour car and drops onto the train tracks when nobody else is there.

Phyllis is at the dump beside the tracks. She makes the car blink twice as a signal.

The two drag Mr. Dietrichson’s corpse onto the tracks.

They leave.

When Phyllis eventually gets questioned by the insurance company, she pretends she has no idea what they are talking about and eventually storms off.

Phyllis and Neff continue to lay low until the insurance company pays out.

Profit!

Actual Result: The actual murder plan goes almost smoothly, with a bonus of Mr. Dietrichson having broken a leg. But with him not filing a claim for the broken leg, a witness at the observation platform, and Zachette visiting Phyllis every night after the murder, Keyes works out the murder scheme on his own, but pins the blame on Phyllis and Zachette, not Neff.

Now for Aventurine and Ratio. You can skip this section if you understand how deep their act goes, but to those who need a refresher, here’s a thorough explanation:

Aventurine and Ratio —> Sunday

Goal: Collect the aventurine stone without Sunday knowing, ruin the dream (and create the grandest death)

Payout: Penacony for the IPC, information on the Stellaron for Ratio, a meeting with Diamond / death for Aventurine

Main Actor: Aventurine | Accomplice: Veritas Ratio

From the moment they step onto Penacony, they are under Sunday’s ever present and watchful eyes. “Privacy” is a foreign word to The Family. They have to act like they don’t like each other’s company the entire time and feed Sunday information through indirect means so that the eventual “betrayal” by Ratio seems truthful to Sunday. Despite what it looks like, they are closer than one would ever think, and Ratio would never sell out a person purely for information.

Step-by-step:

After Sunday takes away the bag of gift money and box, Aventurine and Ratio talk in a room in the Reverie Hotel.

Aventurine establishes the Cornerstones’ importance, and how he lost the gift money and the case containing the Cornerstones to Sunday. Ratio turns to leave, saying “some idiot ruined everything”, meaning the Cornerstones were vital to their plan. (Note that Ratio is not wearing his alabaster head while saying it to said “idiot”.)

Aventurine then proceeds to downplay the importance of the Cornerstones, stating they are “nothing more than a few rocks” and “who cares if they are gone”. This lets Sunday know that something suspicious may be going on for him to act like it’s nothing, and the mention of multiple stones, and leaves him to look up what a Cornerstone is to the Ten Stonehearts of the IPC.

Ratio points out his absurd choice of outfit, mentioning the Attini Peacock and their song.

Ratio implies that without the aventurine stone, he is useless to the IPC. He also establishes that Aventurine is from Sigonia(-IV), and points out the mark on his neck. To Sunday, this means that Aventurine is shackled to the IPC, and how Aventurine may possibly go through extreme lengths to get the stone back, because a death sentence always looms above him.

Aventurine claims Ratio had done his homework on his background, which can be taken that this is their very first time working together. (It isn’t, and it only takes one look to know that Aventurine is an Avgin because of his unique eyes, so this comment does not make sense even in a “sincere” way, a running theme for the interaction.)

Ratio mentions how the true goal is to reclaim Penacony for the IPC, establishing their ulterior motive for attending the banquet.

Ratio asks if Aventurine went to pre-school in Sigonia after saying trust was reliant on cooperation. Aventurine mentions how he didn’t go to school and how he doesn’t have any parents. He even brings up how friends are weapons of the Avgins. This tells Sunday that the Avgins supposedly are good at manipulation and potentially sees Ratio possibly betraying Aventurine due to his carelessness with his “friends”. Sunday would also then research about the Avgins in general (and research about Sigonia-IV comes straight from the Intelligentsia Guild.)

Ratio goes to Dewlight Pavilion in Sunday’s Mansion and exposes a part of Aventurine’s “plan”. When being handed the suitcase, Ratio opens it up due to his apparent high status in the IPC. He tells Sunday that the Cornerstone in the suitcase is a topaz, not an aventurine, and that the real aventurine stone is in the bag of gift money. This is a double betrayal — on Aventurine (who knows) and Sunday (who doesn’t). Note that while Ratio is not officially an IPC member in name — the Intelligentsia Guild (which is run by the IPC head of the Technology Department Yabuli) frequently collaborates with the IPC. Either Aventurine had given him access to the box, or Ratio’s status in general is ambiguous enough for Sunday not to question him further. He then explains parts of Aventurine’s gamble to Sunday in order to sell the betrayal. Note that Ratio does not ever mention Aventurine’s race to Sunday.

Ratio brings Aventurine to Sunday. Aventurine offers help in the investigation of Robin's death, requesting the gift money and the box in return.

Sunday objects to the trade offer. Aventurine then asks for just the bag. A classic car insurance sales tactic. Sunday then interrogates Aventurine, and uses everything Ratio and Aventurine brought up in the Reverie Hotel conversation and their interactions in the Mansion, as well as aspects that Ratio had brought up to Sunday himself.

Aventurine feigns defeat and ignorance enough so that Sunday willingly lets him go with the gift bag. After all is said and done, Aventurine leaves with the gift money, where the Aventurine Cornerstone is stored all along.

Ratio and Aventurine continue to pretend they dislike each other until they go their separate ways for their respective goals and plans. Aventurine would go on to orchestrate his own demise at the hands of Acheron, and Ratio… lurks in the shadows like the owl he is.

Profit!

Actual Result: The plan goes perfectly, even with minor hiccups like Ratio coming close to breaking character several times and Aventurine being sentenced to execution by Sunday.

This is how Sunday uses the information he gathered against Aventurine:

• Sunday going on a tirade about the way Aventurine dresses and how he’s not one to take risks — Ratio’s comment about Aventurine’s outfit being peacock-esque and how he’s “short of a feather or two”. • “Do you own a Cornerstone?” — Ratio talked about the aventurine stone. • “Did you hand over the Cornerstone to The Family when you entered Penacony?” — Aventurine mentioned the box containing the Cornerstones. • “Does the Cornerstone you handed over to The Family belong to you?” — Aventurine specifically pluralized the word Cornerstone and “a bunch of rocks” when talking to Ratio. • “Is your Cornerstone in this room right now?” — The box in the room supposedly contained Aventurine’s own cornerstone, when Aventurine mentioned multiple stones. • “Are you an Avgin from Sigonia?” —Aventurine mentioned that he’s an Avgin, and Ratio brought up Sigonia. • “Do the Avgins have any ability to read, control, and manipulate one’s own or another’s minds?” — Aventurine’s comment on how friends are weapons, as well as Sunday’s own research on the Avgins, leading him to find out about the negative stereotypes associated with them. • “Do you love your family more than yourself?” — His lost parents. “All the Avgins were killed in a massacre. Am I right?” — Based on Sunday’s research into his background. • “Are you your clan’s sole survivor?” — Same as the last point. “Do you hate and wish to destroy this world with your own hands?” — Ratio mentioned the IPC’s goal to regain Penacony, and Aventurine’s whole shtick is “all or nothing”. • “Can you swear that at this very moment, the aventurine stone is safe and sound in this box?” — Repeat.

As seen here, both duos have convoluted plans that involve the deception of one or more parties while also pretending that the relationship between each other isn’t as close as in reality. Unless you knew both of them personally and their histories, there was no way you could tell that they have something else going on.

On to the next point: Comparing Aventurine and Ratio with Phyllis and Neff.

—

[NEFF & PHYLLIS — RATIO & AVENTURINE]

With the short summaries of the movie and the mission out of the way, let’s look at Phyllis and Neff as characters and how Aventurine and Ratio are similar or opposite to them.

Starting off with Aventurine and Phyllis. Here is where they are the most similar:

Phyllis is blonde and described as a provocative woman. Aventurine is also a blond and eyes Ratio provocatively in the Final Victor light cone.

Phyllis was put under surveillance after Keyes starts figuring out that the so-called accidental death/suicide may have been a murder after all. Similarly, Aventurine was watched by Sunday the entire time in Penacony.

Phyllis never tells Neff how she's seeing another man on the side to possibly kill him too (as well as how she was responsible for the death of her husband‘s previous wife). Aventurine also didn't tell Ratio the entirety of his plan of his own death.

Phyllis puts on a somewhat helpless act at first but is incredibly capable of making things go her way, having everything seemingly wrapped around her finger. Aventurine — even when putting on a facade that masks his true motives — always comes out at the top.

Now the differences between Aventurine and Phyllis:

Phyllis does not care about her family and has no issue with killing her husband, his previous wife, and possibly her daughter Lola. Opposite of that, Aventurine is a family man… with no family left, as well as feeling an insane level of survivor’s guilt.

Really, Phyllis just… does not care at all about anyone but herself and the money. Aventurine, while he uses every trick in the book to get out on top, does care about the way Jade and Topaz had entrusted him with their Cornerstones, in spite of the stones being worth their lives.

Phyllis also uses other people to her advantage to get what she wants, often behind other people's backs, with the way she treats Neff and Zachette. Aventurine does as well (what with him making deals with the Trailblazer while also making a deal with Black Swan that involves the Trailblazer). The difference here is Phyllis uses her allure deliberately to seduce men while Aventurine simply uses others as pawns while also allowing others to do the same to himself.

Phyllis makes no attempt at compromising the policy when questioned by Norton. Aventurine ends up compromising by only taking the gift money (which is exactly what he needs).

The wig that Barbara Stanwyck (the actress of Phyllis) wore was chosen to make her look as “sleazy” as possible, make her look insincere and a fraud, a manipulator. A sort of cheapness. Aventurine’s flashy peacock-esque outfit can be sort of seen as something similar, except the outfit isn’t cheap.

Moving on to Ratio’s similarities to Neff… There isn’t much to extrapolate here as Ratio is more of a side character in the grand scheme of Penacony, however this is what I’ve figured out.

Neff has dark hair. Ratio has dark purple hair.

Neff almost never refers to Phyllis by her name when speaking with her, only as “baby”. The few times he refers to her as Phyllis or Mrs. Dietrichson is during their first conversations and when he has to act like he doesn’t know her. Ratio never calls Aventurine by his name when he’s around him — only as “gambler”, sometimes “damned” or “dear” (EN-only) gambler. Only in the Aventurine's Keeping Up With Star Rail episode does Ratio repeatedly say his name, and yet he still calls him by monikers like “gambler” or, bafflingly, a “system of chaos devoid of logic”.

Both Neff and Ratio committed two betrayals: Neff on Mr. Dietrichson and Keyes, and Ratio on Sunday and Aventurine. With the former cases it was to reach the end of the trolley line, and with the latter it was on a man who had put his trust in him.

As for the differences…

Neff is described as someone who’s not smart by his peers. Ratio is someone who is repeatedly idolised and put on a pedestal by other people.

Neff is excellent at pretending to not know nor care for Phyllis whenever he speaks about her with Keyes or when he and she are in a place that could land them in hot water (the office, the mansion when there are witnesses). His acting is on the same level as Phyllis. With Ratio it’s… complicated. While he does pull off the hater act well, he straight up isn’t great at pretending not to care about Aventurine’s wellbeing.

Instead of getting his gunshot wound treated in the hospital like a normal person, Neff makes the absolutely brilliant decision of driving to his office and talking to a dictaphone for hours. Needless to say, this is something a medical doctor like Ratio would never do.

Now here's the thing. Though it's very easy to just look at Phyllis and Neff in the movie and go "okay, Aventurine is Phyllis and Ratio is Neff — end of story" and leave it at that, I find that they both take from the two leads in different ways. Let me explain. Beginning with Aventurine and Neff…

Neff is the one who hatches the plan and encourages Phyllis to go through and claim the double indemnity clause in the first place. He is also the key player of his own risky plan, having to fake being the husband to enter the train as well as fake the death. Aventurine puts himself at great risk just by being in Sunday’s presence, and hoping that Sunday wouldn’t figure out that the green stone he had uncovered wasn’t the aventurine stone.

Adding onto the last point, Neff had fantasised about pulling off the perfect murder for a long time — the catalyst was simply him meeting Phyllis. Aventurine presumably sought out Ratio alone for his plan against Sunday.

Neff makes a roulette wheel analogy and talks about a pile of blue and yellow poker chips (the latter in the script only). I don‘t even have to explain why this is relevant here. (Aventurine’s Ultimate features a roulette wheel and the motif is on his belt, thigh strap, and back, too. And of course, Aventurine is all about his chips.)

Neff has certain ways to hide when he’s nervous, which include hiding his hands in his pockets when they were shaking, putting on glasses so people couldn’t see his eyes. Aventurine hides his left hand behind his back when he’s nervous: Future Aventurine says that "they don't know the other hand is below the table, clutching [his] chips for dear life", and in multiple occasions such as the Final Victor LC, his character trailer, and even in his boss form in the overworld you can see that Aventurine hides his left hand behind his back. And he is also seen with his glasses on sometimes.

Neff says a bunch of stuff to make sure that Phyllis acts her part and does not act out of character (i.e. during their interactions at the market), like how Aventurine repeatedly tries to get Ratio back on track from his subpar acting.

Neff is always one step ahead of the game, and the only reason the plan blows up in his face is due to outside forces that he could not have foreseen (a witness, Keyes figuring out the plan, the broken leg). Aventurine meanwhile plays 5D chess and even with the odds against him, he uses everything he can to come out on the top (i. e. getting Acheron to kill him in the dream).

Even after coming home on the night of the murder, Neff still felt that everything could have gone wrong. Aventurine, with his blessed luck, occasionally wavers and fears everything could go wrong whenever he takes a gamble.

Neff was not put under surveillance by Keyes due to him being extensive with his alibi. After witnessing Robin’s death with eyewitnesses at the scene, the Family had accepted Aventurine’s alibi, though he would be under watch from the Bloodhounds according to Ratio.

Neff talks about the entire murder scheme to the dictaphone. Aventurine during Cat Among Pigeons also retells his plan, albeit in a more convoluted manner, what with his future self and all.

Continuing with Ratio and Phyllis, even with their personalities and motivations being quite different, they do have a few commonalities.

Phyllis was a nurse. Ratio is a medical doctor.

Her name is Greek of origin. Veritas Ratio, though his name is Latin, has Greco-Roman influences throughout his entire character.

The very first scene Phyllis appears in has her wearing a bath towel around her torso. Ratio loves to take baths to clear his mind.

Phyllis was instructed by Neff to be at the market every morning at eleven buying things. Ratio is seen in an auction house with his alabaster head on so no one could recognize him.

Phyllis mostly acts as an accomplice to the scheme, being the one to convince her husband to take the train instead. She is also generally seen only when Neff is involved. Ratio plays the same role as well, only really appearing in the story in relation to Aventurine as well as being the accomplice in Aventurine’s own death. Even him standing in the auction house randomly can be explained by the theory that he and Aventurine had attempted to destabilise Penacony’s economy through a pump and dump scheme.

With these pointers out of the way, let’s take a closer look at select scenes from the film and their relation to the mission and the pair.

—

[THE PHONE CALL — THE REVERIE HOTEL]

Before the murder, there is a scene with a phone call between Phyllis and Neff discussing the plan while Keyes is in the same room as Neff. Neff has to make sure that Keyes doesn’t think of anything of the phone call, so he acts like he’s calling a “Margie”, and says a bunch of stuff that sounds innocent out of context (“Can’t I call you back, ‘Margie’?” “What color did you pick out?” “Navy blue. I like that fine”), but are actually hinting at the real plan all along (the suit that Mr. Dietrichson wears.)

In a roundabout way, the conversation between Ratio and Aventurine in the Reverie Hotel can be seen as the opposite of that scene — with the two talking about their supposed plan out loud on Penacony ground, a place where the Family (and in turn, Sunday) has eyes everywhere. Despite being in a “private” room, they still act like they hate each other while airing out details that really do not make sense to air out if they really did meet the first time in Penacony (which they didn’t — they’ve been on several missions beforehand). It’s almost like they want a secret third person to know what they were doing, instead of trying to be hushed up about it. The TVs in the room that Sunday can look through based on Inherently Unjust Destiny — A Moment Among The Stars, the Bloodhound statue that disappears upon being inspected, the owl clock on the left which side eyes Ratio and Aventurine, all point to that Sunday is watching their every move, listening to every word.

Rewinding back to before the phone call, in one of the encounters at the marketplace where they “accidentally” run into each other, Phyllis talks about how the trip was off. How her husband wouldn’t get on the train, which was vital for their plan, because of a broken leg. All this, while pretending to be strangers by the passersby. You could say that the part where Ratio almost leaves because Aventurine had “ruined the plan” is the opposite of this, as the husband breaking his leg was something they couldn’t account for, while Aventurine “being short of a few feathers” was entirely part of the plan.

—

[QUESTIONING PHYLLIS — THE INTERROGATION]

This section is going to be a little longer as I will cover two scenes in the movie in a more detailed manner — Mr. Dietrichson signing the policy, and Phyllis being questioned — and how they are represented in the Sunday-Aventurine interrogation and the prior conversation between Ratio and Sunday in multitudes of ways.

Going about their plan, Neff has to make sure that Mr. Dietrichson signs the policy with the double indemnity clause without him knowing the details, all the while having Phyllis (and Lola) in the same room. He and Phyllis have to pretend that they don’t know each other, and that this is just the standard accidental insurance process, instead of signing what would be his downfall. To sell it, he gets Mr. Dietrichson to sign two “copies” of the form, except with Mr. Dietrichson’s second signature, he’s duped into signing the accident insurance policy with the respective clause.

You can tie this to how Ratio goes to Sunday in order to “expose” the lie that the suitcase didn’t actually contain the Aventurine Cornerstone, as well as there being more than one Cornerstone involved in the scheme. Ratio must make sure that Sunday truly believes that he dislikes Aventurine’s company, while also making sure that Sunday doesn’t figure out the actual aventurine stone is broken and hidden in the gift bag. The scheme turns out to be successful, as Sunday retrieves the two Cornerstones, but not the aventurine stone, and truly does think that the green stone he has in his possession is the aventurine.

This whole scene with Sunday is also reminiscent of the interrogation scene in the middle of the movie, where Phyllis was questioned by the boss (Norton) who was deducing that Mr. Dietrichson's death was a suicide, not accidental death. Neff, Phyllis, Keyes and Norton were all in the same room, and Neff and Phyllis had to act like they never knew the other. Phyllis acts like she knows nothing about what Norton insinuates about her husband and eventually, Phyllis explodes in anger and storms out the room, even slamming the door. Her act is very believable to any outsider.

Now back to the Ratio and Sunday conversation. One glaring difference between the movie and here is that his acting isn’t great compared to either Phyllis nor Neff. It never was throughout the Penacony mission. He even comes very close to breaking character several times, and is even defending Aventurine in a somewhat aggressive manner during his one-on-one conversation with Sunday, as in he literally tells Sunday to see a shrink. It’s very different from the way he was acting in Herta Space Station — like Ratio cares about Aventurine too much to keep his hands off.

It's also worth pointing out that Neff doesn't speak a word when Phyllis was being interrogated. Similarly, Ratio is silent throughout the entire scene with Sunday and Aventurine, with his only “line” being a “hm”. When Aventurine calls him a wretch to his face, all he does is look to the side. In fact, he can only look at Aventurine when the other isn’t staring back. Almost like him uttering a single word would give them away. Or his acting is terrible when it has to do with Aventurine, as he has no issue doing the same thing in Crown of the Mundane and Divine (Mundane Troubles).

So, Sunday finds out about the Cornerstones and reveals them to Aventurine, and reasons that he cannot give them back to him because Aventurine had lied. Note that in that same scene, Aventurine attempted to use the two murders that had occurred beforehand against Sunday to retrieve his own cornerstone. Similarly, when it was revealed that Mr. Dietrichson did not know about the accident policy and that the so-called “accidental death” was not, in fact, accidental, the insurance company refused to pay out the money.

Unlike the movie, this was all planned, however. The double-crossing by Ratio, the gift money being the only thing required for Aventurine’s real plan. All of it was an act of betrayal against Sunday, in the same manner as the meticulous planning as Mr. Dietrichson’s murder — To sign the policy, get him to take the train, kill him on the way, and to have Neff pose as the husband on the train until the time is right to get off and lay the body on the tracks. A key difference is that they could not have expected their scheme to be busted wide open due to forces outside of their control, while Ratio and Aventurine went straight down the line for the both of them no matter what.

From here on out, we can conclude that the way Ratio and Aventurine present themselves in Penacony to onlookers is in line with Neff and Phyllis.

—

[“GOODBYE, BABY” — FINAL VICTOR]

And now for the (in)famous light cone, Final Victor. The thing that truly kickstarted the Ratio and Aventurine ship in the fanbase, and the partnership between the two in general. It’s a direct reference to the final confrontation between Neff and Phyllis in the movie.

I’ll fire through all the similarities between the two scenes.

During the respective scenes, Aventurine and Phyllis both outsmart their partner one way or the other: Aventurine with his one-sided game of Russian Roulette, and Phyllis hiding her gun underneath the cushions until Neff turned away.

The guns are owned by Phyllis and Aventurine, not Neff and Ratio.

Phyllis couldn’t bring herself to fire any more shots after she realised she truly did love Neff. Ratio could do nothing but watch as Aventurine did what he did — he couldn’t even pull away if the LC animation is anything to go by him struggling as Aventurine firmly keeps the gun to his chest.

Neff says he doesn’t buy (believe) that Phyllis loved him. She then goes “I’m not asking you to buy […]”. The LC description has Aventurine ask Ratio “You don’t believe me?”, while in the LC animation Ratio straight up says “You expect me to believe you?” and Aventurine answering “Why not, doctor/professor?”

The visual composition of the LC and the scene are nearly identical, from the lighting to the posing to the way Aventurine looks at Ratio — Aventurine and Ratio are even wearing different outfits to fit the scene better. The background in the LC is also like the blinders in the movie, just horizontal.

In the shot where Phyllis’ face is more visible, the way she looks at Neff is strikingly like the way provocatively looks at Ratio. Even their eyes have a visible shine — Phyllis’ eyes brightly shining the moment she realised she really fell in love with Neff, and Aventurine having just a little light return to his eyes in that specific moment.

And now the differences!

Neff holds the gun in his right hand. Aventurine makes Ratio hold his gun in his left.

Neff is the one who takes the gun from Phyllis‘ hand. Aventurine is the one who places the gun in Ratio’s hand and fires it.

Three gunshots are fired. In the movie, Phyllis shoots the first shot and Neff the second and third. Aventurine unloads the gun and leaves only one bullet for this game of Russian Roulette. He pulls the trigger three times, but they all turn out to be blanks.

Phyllis does not break her façade of not smiling until the very last moment where she gets shot. Aventurine is smiling the entire time according to the light cone description, whilst in the animation, it’s only when he guides the gun to his chest that he puts it on.

So, you know how Neff meets Phyllis and it all goes off the rails from there. The way Neff goes from a decent guy to willingly involve himself in a murder scheme, having his morals corrupted by Phyllis. His world having been turned upside down the moment he lays eyes on Phyllis in that first meeting. Doesn’t that sound like something that happened with the Final Victor LC? Ratio, a man all about logic and rationality — a scholar with eight PhDs to his name — all of that is flipped on its head the moment Aventurine pulls out his gun in their first meeting and forces Ratio to play a game of Russian roulette with him. Aventurine casually gambles using his own life like it’s nothing and seemingly without fear (barring his hidden left hand). All or nothing — and yet Aventurine comes out alive after three blanks. Poetic, considering there’s a consumable in the game called “All or Nothing” which features a broken chess piece and a poker chip bound together by a tie. The poker chip obviously represents the gambler, but the chess piece specifically stands for Ratio because he plays chess in his character trailer, his Keeping Up With Star Rail episode and his introduction is centred around him playing chess with himself. Plus, the design of the chess piece has golden accents, similar to his own chess set. In the end, Aventurine will always be the final victor.

Furthermore, Neff had deduced that Phyllis wanted to kill her husband and initially wanted no part in it, but in a subsequent visit it was his own idea that they trigger the double indemnity clause for more money. As the movie progresses though, he starts to have his doubts (thanks in part to him befriending Lola) and makes the move to kill Phyllis when everything starts to come to light. It’s strikingly similar to how Ratio initially wanted no part in whatever Aventurine had in mind when they first met, but in the subsequent missions where they were paired up, he willingly goes along with Aventurine's risky plans, and they come to trust each other. Enough so that Aventurine and Ratio can go to Penacony all on their own and put on an act, knowing that nobody in the IPC other than them can enter the Dreamscape. The mutual respect grew over time, instead of burning passionately before quickly fizzling out like in the movie.

Basically, in one scene, three shots (blanks) start a relationship, and in the other, it ends a relationship. In the anan magazine interview with Aventurine, he says himself that “form[ing] an alliance with just one bullet” with Ratio was one of his personal achievements. The moment itself was so impactful for both parties that it was immortalised and turned into a light cone.

—

[THE ENDING — GOLDEN HOUR]

The ending of Double Indemnity that made it into the final cut has Neff continue his confession on the dictaphone until he realised that he wasn’t alone in the room. Keyes had come inside at some point, but none had said a thing, only listening to a dead man speak of his crime. When Neff sees Keyes, they talk for a moment, Neff says he plans on fleeing to Mexico. Keyes does not think he will make it. He tries to leave, only to collapse at the front of the elevator, Keyes following just behind him. Neff attempts to light a cigar but is too weak to do so, so Keyes does it for him.

Parts of the ending can still be attributed to the interrogation scene between Sunday and Aventurine, so I’ll make this quick before moving on to the conversation in Heaven Is A Place On Earth, Ratio and Aventurine’s final conversation together. Once Sunday mentions how quickly Aventurine gave up the suitcase, he inflicts the Harmony’s consecration on him, which forces Aventurine to confess everything that Sunday asks of. In a way, it’s the opposite of what happens in the movie — where Neff willingly tells the truth about the murder to his coworker. Aventurine does not like Sunday, and Neff is close to Keyes. Ratio also does not speak, similarly to how Keyes didn’t speak and stood silently off to the side.

Post-interrogation in Golden Hour, Ratio worriedly prods at Aventurine and asks him about his plan. He then gives him the Mundanite’s Insight with the Doctor’s Advice inside when Aventurine tells him to leave. Throughout Heaven Is A Place On Earth, Aventurine gets weaker and his head starts to buzz, until he falls to the ground before he can hand in the final gems. Similarly, Neff progressively grows weaker as he records his confession. Keyes says he’s going to call a doctor and Neff says he’s planning to go to Mexico. And when Neff collapses near the elevator, they talk one final time and Keyes lights Neff’s cigar as the other was too weak to do so himself.

—

[OPPOSITE TIMELINES AND DEVELOPMENTS]

Remember how I said the way certain events happen in the movie and the game are mostly opposite and reverse of one another?

The Final Victor LC is the first meeting of Ratio and Aventurine, and Neff killing Phyllis is their final meeting.

Between that first and last meeting between Phyllis and Neff’s whirlwind romance, their relationship becomes strained which ultimately leads to Neff not trusting whatever Phyllis has to say at the end point of the movie. As for Ratio and Aventurine, the exact opposite had happened, to the point where Ratio trusts Aventurine enough to go along with his plans even if they went against his own ideals. The basis of the mission involved Veritas Ratio, whose full name includes the Latin word for “truth”, lying the entire time on Penacony.

Aventurine is sentenced to the gallows by Sunday after his unwilling interrogation. The movie starts and ends with Neff willingly confessing everything to Keyes.

It bears repeating, but I have to make it so clear that the trust between Ratio and Aventurine runs incredibly deep. Being able to predict what your partner says and thinks and plans in a mission as critical as the Penacony project is not something first-time co-workers can pull off flawlessly. All the while having to put on masks that prevent you from speaking sincerely towards one another lest you rat yourselves out. You have no way of contacting outside reinforcements from within Penacony, as the rest of the IPC are barred from entering. To be able to play everybody for fools while said fools believe you yourselves have handed your case on a silver platter requires a lot — trust, knowledge of the other, past experience, and so on. With Phyllis and Neff, the trust they had had been snuffed out when Neff grew closer to Lola and found out what kind of person Phyllis truly was on the inside. Phyllis did not trust nor love Neff enough and was going behind his back to meet with Zachette to possibly take Neff and Lola out. And the whole reason Neff wanted to perpetrate the murder was due to him being initially taken by Phyllis' appearance, which single handedly got the ball rolling on the crime.

Now then, how come trust is one of the defining aspects of Aventurine and Ratio’s relationship, when Phyllis and Neff’s trust eventually lead to both their deaths at the hands of the other? Sure, this can be explained away with the opposite theory, but there’s one other relationship involving Neff which I haven’t brought up in excruciating detail yet. The other side of Ratio and Aventurine’s relationship.

—

[NEFF & KEYES — AVENTURINE & RATIO]

Here is where it gets more interesting — while Phyllis and Neff are at the centre point of the movie, there is another character to whom Neff has a close relationship with — Keyes. It’s also the only relationship with no pretences, at least, until the whole murder thing happened and Neff had to hide his involvement from Keyes. Watching the movie, I couldn't help but feel there was something more to the two than meets the eye. I knew that queer readings of the film existed, but I didn't think too much of them until now. And though Aventurine and Ratio parallel Phyllis and Neff respectively, the fact that they also have traits of their opposite means that it wouldn’t be completely out of the question if parts of their relationship were also influenced by Keyes and Neff on a deeper and personal level. Let me explain.

Keyes and Neff were intimate friends for eleven years and have shown mutual respect and trust towards one another. They understood each other on a level not seen with Phyllis and Neff. Even after hearing Neff confess his crimes through the dictaphone (and eventually standing in the same room while Neff confessed), he still cared for the other man, and stayed with him when Neff collapsed at the front door. The only reason Keyes hadn’t deduced that it was Neff who was behind the murder was because he had his absolute trust in him. Keyes is also Neff’s boss, and they are always seen exchanging playful banter when they are on screen together. Neff even says the words “I love you, too” twice in the movie — first at the beginning and second at the end, as the final line. There’s also the persistent theme of Neff lighting Keyes’ cigarettes (which happens in every scene where they are face-to-face), except in the end where it’s Keyes who lights Neff’s.

Doesn’t that sound familiar? Mutual respect, caring too much about the other person, the immense amount of trust… Ratio says he’s even the manager of the Penacony project (which may or may not be a lie), and despite their banter being laced with them acting as “enemies”, you can tell that in Dewlight Pavilion pre-Sunday confrontation that Aventurine genuinely likes Ratio’s company and believes him to be a reliable person. From the way he acts carefree in his words to the thoughts in his head, as seen in the mission descriptions for Double Indemnity. Their interactions in that specific mission are possibly the closest thing to their normal way of speaking that we get to see on Penacony.

Not to mention, this is the way Neff describes Keyes. He even says (not in the script) “you never fooled me with your song and dance, not for a second.” Apart from the line about the cigar ashes, doesn’t this ring a bell to a certain doctor? “Jerk” with a heart of gold?

After solving the puzzle with the statues, Ratio jokingly offers Aventurine to join the Genius Society. Aventurine then goes "Really? I thought you’ve given up on that already", and then Ratio says it was, in fact, a joke. Solving the puzzle through brute force has Ratio telling Aventurine that the Council of Mundanites (which Ratio himself is a part of) should consider him a member. In the movie, where the scene with the phone call with Neff and Phyllis reiterating details of their plan happens, Keyes actually offered Neff a better job (specifically a desk job, as Keyes’ assistant). The two pairs saw the other as smart, equals, and were invested in each other’s careers one way or another.

Because of all this, the character parallels for this side of the relationship are as follows:

Aventurine - Walter Neff

Veritas Ratio - Barton Keyes

With the way I’ve talked about how Aventurine and Ratio take from both leads in terms, it does fit to say that Aventurine is Neff, and Ratio is Keyes in this layer of their relationship. Since we’re on the topic of Keyes, let me also go through some similarities with him and Ratio specifically.

Keyes says the words “dimwitted amateurs” in his first on-screen conversation with Neff. You can’t have Dr. Ratio without him talking about idiocy in some way.

Keyes almost only appears in the movie in relation to Neff, and barring a single interaction in Neff’s house, is also only seen in the office. Same with Phyllis, Ratio also only ever appears regarding Aventurine.

Keyes genuinely wanted the best for Neff, even offering to celebrate with him when he thought the case truly had been busted wide open by forces when Zachette entered the picture. You could say the same for Ratio, as he hoped that Aventurine wouldn’t dwell on the past according to his response on Aventurine’s Interview, as well as telling him to “stay alive/live on (CN)” and wishing him the best of luck in his Doctor’s Advice note.

Whether or not you believe that there was more going on with Neff and Keyes is up to you, but what matters is that the two were very close. Just like Ratio and Aventurine.

—

[THE ORIGINAL FILM ENDING]

Something that I hadn’t seen brought up is the original ending of Double Indemnity, where Neff is executed in a gas chamber while Keyes watches on, shocked, and afterwards leaves somberly. The ending was taken out because they were worried about the Hays Code, but I felt it was important to bring it up, because in a way, you can kind of see the Sunday interrogation scene as Sunday sending Aventurine to his death in seventeen system hours. And Ratio doesn’t speak at all in that scene, and Keyes doesn’t either according to the script.

Another thing that’s noteworthy is that Wilder himself said “the story was about the two guys” in Conversations with Wilder. The two guys in question are Keyes and Neff.

—

[THE NOVEL]

With the original film ending covered, now it is time to bring up the novel by James M. Cain. I bought the book just to read about the differences between the adaptation and the original source material, and to list a few more similarities and opposites I could gather. For this section alone, due to the changes in the (last) names of certain characters, I will be referring to Walter Huff (Neff in the movie) as Walter, and Mr. Dietrichson as Nirdlinger. The plot is pretty much the same as the movie’s apart from a couple of changes so there isn’t a need to recount everything.

From my two read-throughs of the novel, these are the following passages that stood out to me the most. Starting with Aventurine:

Walter, as a top businessman of the company, knows how to sway a deal and to get what he truly wants with what the other gives him. Aventurine is the same, reliant on his intuition, experience and whatever information he has on the table to claim the win. Him luring out Sparkle in Heaven Is A Place On Earth and his conversation with Acheron in the Nihility is indicative of that.

• "But you sell as many people as I do, you don't go by what they say. You feel it, how the deal is going. And after a while I knew this woman didn't care anything about the Automobile Club. Maybe the husband did, but she didn't. There was something else, and this was nothing but a stall. I figured it would be some kind of a proposition to split the commission, maybe so she could get a ten-spot out of it without the husband knowing. There's plenty of that going on. And I was just wondering what I would say to her."

Phyllis, like in the movie, had been hiding her true intentions of talking to Walter in their first conversations, always saying things that she didn’t actually mean. In a similar vein, Aventurine consistently says stuff but almost never truly means any of it, which is all part of his façade.

• "And I could feel it again, that she wasn't saying what she meant. It was the same as it was the first afternoon I met her, that there was something else, besides what she was telling me. And I couldn't shake it off, that I had to call it on her."

When discussing the murder plan with Phyllis, Walter makes this comment, kind of like how Aventurine seems to operate in a way where he has a plan, but is ready to improvise and think fast when needed.

• "And then it's one of those things where you've got to watch for your chance, and you can't plan it in advance, and know where you're going to come out to the last decimal point."

Remember the roulette wheel line from the movie? In the novel, the gambling metaphor that Walter makes about the insurance business goes on for two paragraphs, mentioning a gambling wheel, stack of chips, a place with a big casino and the little ivory ball, even about a bet on the table. Walter also talks about how he thinks of tricks at night after being in the business for so long, and how he could game the system. Needless to say, insanely reminiscent of Aventurine.

• "You think I’m nuts? All right, maybe I am. But you spend fifteen years in the business I’m in, and maybe a little better than that, it’s the friend of the widow, the orphan, and the needy in time of trouble? It’s not. It’s the biggest gambling wheel in the world. It don’t look like it, but it is, from the way they figure the percentage on the oo to the look on their face when they cash your chips. You bet that your house will burn down, they bet it won’t, that’s all. What fools you is that you didn’t want your house to burn down when you made the bet, and so you forget it’s a bet. To them, a bet is a bet, and a hedge bet don’t look any different than any other bet. But there comes a time, maybe, when you do want your house to burn down, when the money is worth more than the house. And right there is where the trouble starts." • "Alright, I’m an agent. I’m a croupier in that game. I know all their tricks, I lie awake thinking up tricks, so I’ll be ready for them when they come at me. And then one night I think up a trick, and get to thinking I could crook the wheel myself if I could only put a plant out there to put down my bet." • "I had seen so many houses burned down, so many cars wrecked, so many corpses with blue holes in their temples, so many awful things that people had pulled to crook the wheel, that that stuff didn’t seem real to me anymore. If you don’t understand that, go to Monte Carlo or some other place where there’s a big casino, sit at a table, and watch the face of the man that spins the little ivory ball. After you’ve watched it a while, ask yourself how much he would care if you went out and plugged yourself in the head. His eyes might drop when he heard the shot, but it wouldn’t be from the worry whether you lived or died. It would be to make sure you didn’t leave a bet on the table, that he would have to cash for your estate. No, he wouldn’t care."

Returning home from the murder, Walter attempted to pray, but was unable to do it. Some time passed and after speaking to Phyllis, he prayed. Aventurine presumably hadn’t done the prayer ever since the day of the massacre, and the first time he does it again, he does it with his child self.

• "I went to the dining room and took a drink. I took another drink. I started mumbling to myself, trying to get so I could talk. I had to have something to mumble. I thought of the Lord's Prayer. I mumbled that, a couple of times. I tried to mumble it another time, and couldn't remember how it went." • "That night I did something I hadn’t done in years. I prayed."

Phyllis in the book is much more inclined towards death than her movie version, even thinking of herself as a personification of death. She’s killed ten other people (including infants) prior to the events of the novel. Something to keep in mind as Aventurine had mentioned several times that he attempted to kill himself in the dream, plus his leadup to his “grandest death”. Just like Phyllis, he’s even killed at least a few people before, though the circumstances of that were less on his own volition and more so for the sake of his survival (i.e. the death game in the maze involving the 34 other slaves where he was the winner and another time where he murdered his own master). Instead of Phyllis playing the active role of Death towards everybody else, Aventurine himself dances with Death with every gamble, every time his luck comes into play. Danse Macabre.

• "But there’s something in me, I don’t know what. Maybe I’m crazy. But there’s something in me that loves Death. I think of myself as Death, sometimes." • "Walter, The time has come. For me to meet my bridegroom [Death]. The only one I ever loved."

Moving on to Ratio:

Walter says several times that it’s hard to get along with Keyes, and how he says nice things after getting you all worked up. A hard-headed man to get along with, but damn good at his job. Sound like someone familiar?

• "That would be like Keyes, that even when he wanted to say something nice to you, he had to make you sore first." • "It makes your head ache to be around him, but he’s the best claim man on the Coast, and he was the one I was afraid of."

Keyes sees Walter as smarter than half the fools in the company. Ratio can only stand the company of Aventurine in regards to the IPC.

• "Walter, I'm not beefing with you. I know you said he ought to be investigated. I've got your memo right here on my desk. That's what I wanted to tell you. If other departments of this company would show half the sense that you show—" • "Oh, he confessed. He's taking a plea tomorrow morning, and that ends it. But my point is, that if you, just by looking at that man, could have your suspicions, why couldn't they—! Oh well, what's the use? I just wanted you to know it."

After going on a rant about the H.S. Nirdlinger case (Phyllis’ husband) and how Norton is doing a horrible job, he ends it by saying that it’s sheer stupidity. “Supreme idiocy”, anybody?

• "You can’t take many body blows like this and last. Holy smoke. Fifty thousand bucks, and all from dumbness. Just sheer, willful, stupidity!"

Phyllis’ former occupation as a nurse is more elaborated on, including her specialization — pulmonary diseases. One of Ratio’s crowning achievements is curing lithogenesis, the “King of Diseases”.

• "She’s one of the best nurses in the city of Los Angeles. […] She’s a nurse, and she specialized in pulmonary diseases. She would know the time of crisis, almost to a minute, as well as any doctor would."

As for the murder scheme, they talk about it a lot more explicitly in the novel. Specifically, Walter mentions how a single person cannot get away with it and that it requires more people to be involved. How everything is known to the party committing the crime, but not the victim. And most importantly: Audacity.

"Say, this is a beauty, if I do say it myself. I didn't spend all this time in the business for nothing, did I? Listen, he knows all about this policy, and yet he don't know a thing about it. He applies for it, in writing, and yet he don't apply for it. He pays me for it with his own check, and yet he don't pay me. He has an accident happen to him and yet he don't have an accident happen to him. He gets on the train, and yet he don't get on it."

"The first is, help. One person can't get away with it, that is unless they're going to admit it and plead the unwritten law or something. It takes more than one. The second is, the time, the place, the way, all known in advance—to us, but not him. The third is, audacity. That's the one that all amateur murderers forget. They know the first two, sometimes, but that third, only a professional knows. There comes a time in any murder when the only thing that can see you through is audacity, and I can't tell you why."

"And if we want to get away with it, we've got to do it the way they do it, […]" "Be bold?" "Be bold. It's the only way."

"I still don't know—what we're going to do." "You'll know. You'll know in plenty of time."

"We were right up with it, the moment of audacity that has to be be part of any successful murder."

It fits the situation that Aventurine and Ratio find themselves in extremely well: For the first point— Aventurine would not be able to get away with simply airing out details by himself, as that would immediately cast suspicion on him. Having another person accompany him who not only isn’t really a part of the IPC in name (as the IPC and The Family have a strenuous relationship) but would probably be able to get closer to Sunday because of that means they can simply bounce off each other without risking as much suspicion with a one-man army. Which is exactly what Ratio and Aventurine do in the conversations they have on Penacony. Secondly — they knew how Sunday operates: as a control freak, he leaves no stone unturned, which is how he became Head of the Oak Family, so their acting required them to give off the impression that a. they hated each other, b. Ratio would go against Aventurine’s wishes and expose him in return for knowledge, c. there were only the two Cornerstones that were hidden. This would give Sunday the illusion of control, and lead to Sunday to lower his guard long enough for Aventurine to take the gift money in the end. The pair knew this in advance, but not Sunday. And thirdly — the plan hinged on a high-level of risk. From breaking the Aventurine Cornerstone, to hoping that Sunday wouldn’t find it in the gift bag, to not telling Ratio what the true plan is (meaning Ratio had to figure it out on his own later on), to Sunday even buying Ratio’s story, it was practically the only way they could go about it. “Charming audacity”, indeed.

An interesting aspect about the novel is that the ending of the novel is divergent from the movie’s final cut and the original ending: Phyllis and Walter commit suicide during a ferry ride to Mexico. The main reason this was changed for the movie was because of the Hays Code, and they wouldn’t allow a double suicide to be screened without reprecussions for criminals. There’s also a bunch of other aspects that differentiate the novel from the movie (no narration-confession as the confession happens in a hospital, less characterization for Keyes and instead a bigger focus on Lola and her boyfriend, the focus on the murderous aspect of Walter and Phyllis’ relationship instead of actual romance, Walter falling in love with Lola (with an unfortunately large age gap attached), etc.)

As for the ending, this wouldn’t even be the first romance media reference related to Aventurine and Ratio where both the leads die, with the other being The Happy Prince and San Junipero (in relation to the EN-only Heaven Is A Place On Earth reference), which I normally would chalk up as a coincidence, though with the opposite line-of-thought I have going on here (and the fact that it’s three out of four media references where the couple die at the end…), I think it’s reasonable to say that Ratio and Aventurine will get that happy ending. Subverting expectations, hopefully.

—

[THE HAYS CODE — LGBT CENSORSHIP IN CHINA]

I’ve brought up the Hays code twice now in the previous two sections, but I haven’t actually explained what exactly it entails.

The Hays Code (also known as the Motion Picture Production Code) is a set of rules and guidelines imposed on all American films from around 1934 to 1968, intended to make films less scandalous, morally acceptable and more “safe” for the general audiences. Some of the “Don’ts” and “Be Carefuls” include but are not limited to…

(Don’t) Pointed profanity

(Don’t) Inference of sex perversion (which includes homosexuality)

(Don’t) Nudity

(Be Careful) Sympathy for criminals

(Be Careful) Use of firearms

(Be Careful) Man and woman in bed together

What does this have to do with a Chinese gacha game released in 2023? If you know a little bit about miHoYo’s past, you would know that pre-censorship laws being upheld to a much stronger and stricter degree, they had no problem showcasing their gay couples in Guns Girl Z (Honkai Gakuen 2/GGZ) and Honkai Impact 3rd, with the main three being Bronya/Seele, Kiana/Mei (admittedly the latter one is a more recent example, from 2023), and Sakura/Kallen. Ever since the Bronya and Seele kiss, censorship in regards to LGBT content ramped up, causing the kiss to be removed on the CN side, and they had to lay low with the way they present two same-sex characters who are meant to be together. They can’t explicitly say that two female or male characters are romantically involved, but they can lace their dynamics with references for those “in the know” — Subtext. Just enough to imply something more but not too much that they get censored to hell and back.

So what I’m getting at is this: The trouble that Double Indemnity had to go through in order to be made while also keeping the dialogue of Phyllis and Neff as flirtatious as they could under the Hays Code among other things is quite similar to the way Ratio and Aventurine are presented as of now. We never see them interact outside of Penacony (at least up until 2.2, when this post was drafted), so we can only infer those interactions specifically until they actually talk without the fear of being found out by Sunday. But, there’s still some small moments scattered here and there, such as when Aventurine goes near Ratio in the Dewlight Pavilion Sandpit, he exclaims that “the view here is breathtaking” (he can only see Ratio’s chest from that distance) and that Ratio could “easily squash [him] with just a pinch”. Ratio then goes “If that is your wish, I will do so without a moment’s hesitation.” Not to mention the (in)famous “Doctor, you’re huge!” quote.

It’s not a coincidence that Ratio and Aventurine have three explicit references to romance media (Double Indemnity, Spellbound, Oscar Wilde’s The Happy Prince), possibly even four if you take the EN-only Heaven Is A Place On Earth as a reference to Black Mirror’s San Junipero. It’s not a coincidence that the storylines or characters of said references parallel the pairing, from surface-level to deep cuts. It’s not a coincidence that the CN voice actors were asked to “tone it down” by the voice director when it came to their chemistry. It’s not a coincidence that Aventurine has only flirted with (three) men throughout Penacony, even referring to a Bloodhound NPC as a “hunk of a man” inside his thoughts, all the while ignoring Himeko and Robin when it came to their looks — women who are known across the cosmos with a myriad of adoring fans. There are so many other so-called “coincidences” related to the two that you could make an iceberg just based on versions 2.0-2.2 as well as content miHoYo themselves have put out on social media. They absolutely knew what they were doing, and were trying to get their point across through subtle means — the extent they went to with the Double Indemnity reference while also keeping it under wraps from a “surface” level point of view is proof of this — the implications are there if you take the time to look for them, and are simply hard to ignore or deny once you do find them.

—

[CONCLUSION]

This was supposed to be short considering the other analyses I’ve seen were also pretty short in comparison, but I couldn’t get the movie out of my head and ended up getting carried away in the brainrot. I hope you could follow along with my line of thinking, even with the absurd length of this post, and the thirty-image limit. I tried to supplement context with some links to videos and wiki pages among other sources wherever I can to get around it.

I will end it with this though — the love in the movie turned out to be fake and a farce, going off track from what was a passionate romance in the beginning because of the murder scheme. Meanwhile, the whole reason why Ratio and Aventurine can pull off whatever they want is because of their immense trust in one another. What was initially shown to be distrust in the Final Victor LC grew into something more, for Ratio, someone who would have never put faith into mere chance and probability before this, put his trust in Aventurine, of all people.

TL;DR — (I get it, it’s over ten thousand words.)

Not only is the relationship between Neff and Phyllis represented in the deception and acting side of Ratio and Aventurine, but the real and trusting side is shown in Neff and Keyes. They have a fascinating, multi-layered dynamic that is extremely fun to pick apart once you realise what’s going on underneath the bickering and “hatred” they display.

Many thanks to Manya again for making the original thread on the movie. I wouldn’t be here comparing the game and movie myself if it weren’t for that.

By the way, I really do believe that Shaoji totally watched this movie at least once and really wanted that Double Indemnity AU for his OCs. I know exactly how it feels.

—

Other points I'd like to mention that didn't fit anywhere else in the main analysis and/or don’t hold much significance, have nothing to do with the Penacony mission, or may even be considered reaching (...if some of the other points weren’t). Just some potentially interesting side bits.

Phyllis honks three times to signal Neff to go for the kill. That, and the three gunshots in the confrontation. Aventurine is all about the number three.

The height difference Aventurine and Ratio have going on is close to Phyllis and Neff’s.

Phyllis had killed her husband’s previous wife and went on to marry Mr. Dietrichson, pretty much taking the wife’s place. Aventurine killed his previous master, and had taken certain attributes from him like his wristwatch and the rings on his hand and the “all or nothing” mantra.

When calling Ratio a wretch (bastard), Aventurine smiles for a moment. This is exclusive to the EN, KR and JP voiceovers, as in CN, he does not smile at all. (Most definitely a quirk from the AI they use for lip syncing, but the smile is something that’s been pointed out quite a few times so I thought I’d mention it here.)

Sunday specifically says in the CN version that he knew of Aventurine's plans the moment Aventurine left the mansion, meaning that he realized he had been played the fool the moment Ratio and Aventurine talked in Golden Hour

In the description for the "All or Nothing" consumable, teenage Aventurine says this specific line: "Temptation is a virtue for mortals, whereas hesitation proves to be a fatal flaw for gamblers." According to Ratio, this is Aventurine's motto - he says as such in Aventurine's Keeping Up With Star Rail episode. Note that in the anan interview he explicitly says he does not have a motto, and yet Ratio in the video says otherwise. They definitely have to know each other for a while for Ratio to even know this.

A big reason why Neff even pulled off the murder scheme in the first place was because he wanted to see if his good friend Keyes could figure it out, the Mundane Troubles Trailblaze Continuance showcases Ratio attempting to teach the Herta Space Station researches a lesson to not trust the Genius society as much as they did.

In Keyes’ first scene he’s exposing a worker for writing a policy on his truck that he claimed had burnt down on its own, when he was the one who burnt it down. Ratio gets into an Ace Attorney-style argument with the Trailblazer in Mundane Troubles.

Neff talks repeatedly about how it won’t be sloppy. Nothing weak. And how it’ll be perfect to Phyllis, and how she’s going to do it and he’s going to help her. Doing it right — “straight down the line”. Beautifully ironic, considering what happens in the movie, and even more ironic as Ratio and Aventurine’s scheme went exactly the way they wanted to in the end. Straight down the line.

#honkai star rail #double indemnity #veritas ratio #aventurine #golden ratio #ratiorine #an attempt at analysis by one a-u #relationship analysis #you know what‚ i guess i can tag the other names of this ship #aventio #raturine #you could make a fucking tierlist of these names #um‚ dynamics (yk what i mean) dont really matter here in the analysis just fyi if youre wondering its general enough #also if you're wondering about the compilation thread - its not done. it'll take a while (a long while.)#this post was so long it was initially just a tumblr draft that i then put into google docs. and it ended up being over 2k+ words long #is this a research paper‚ thesis‚ or essay? who knows! this just started as just a short analysis after watching the movie on may 5 #final word count according to docs (excluding alt text): 13013 - 43 pages with formatting #i wish i could have added more images to this‚ 10k words vs 30 images really is not doing me any favours…#plus‚ i hit the character limit for alt text for one of the images.#if you see me mixing up british and american spelling‚ you probably have!#oh yeah. if any of the links happen to break at some point. do tell. i have everything backed up #there also may be multiple links strung together‚ just so you know.#I link videos using the EN and CN voiceovers. Just keep that in mind if the jump between two languages seems sudden.#I had to copy and paste this thing from the original tumblr draft onto a new post because tumblr wouldn't let me edit the old one anymore.#Feels just like when I was finalising my song comic…#(Note: I had to do this three times.)#I started this at May 5 as a way to pass the time before 2.2. You can probably tell how that turned out.#Did you know there is a limit to the amount of links you can add to a single tumblr post? It's 100. I hit that limit as well.#So if you want context for some of these parts... just ask.#I'm gonna stop here before I hit the tag limit (30) as well LMAOO (never mind I just did.)

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koolades-world · 11 hours

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Congrats on 2k followers! 🥳

Can I request MC say prompt no.15 to Lucifer? MC was mad at Lucifer about something and tried to ignore him (obviously MC failed).

thank you!! first event request and starting off strong

not exactly sure how i'll organize it but if i get enough i think i'll make a separate masterlist for them! if not, i think i'll put them with drabbles :)

enjoy <3

prompt 15 w/ Lucifer

"Mc, I'm sorry." Lucifer trailed after you, wringing his hands nervously. You were silent with your arms crossed and walking away from him with a mission. You looked over your shoulder to give him a lethal glare: something he taught you. His brothers watched the two of you as you led him around the house while you attempted to complete regular tasks. For once, they felt bad for him but were glad they weren't the ones under fire of your scorn. They weren't about to intervene and take the fury themselves.

"I didn't know that the coffee was yours. Really, I'm sorry." He placed a hand on your shoulder, but you shrugged it off, still quiet.

"I'm ignoring you," you said with a sharp exhale. You made your way to where you originally intended to be before your interruption, the library. Lucifer watched as you plopped down on one of the armchairs and grabbed a nearby book. He wasn't sure if it was yours to begin with because he thought he'd seen Satan reading something similar, but you opened it to where the bookmark was and started reading. With a sigh of his own, he left you alone in the library.

As soon as you heard the door of the library shut, you looked up from the book. You could tell from the way he looked at you that he knew that book wasn't actually yours. He could see behind the facade. It was hard to pretend to stay mad at him. But, you seriously had been looking forward to drinking that coffee. You just hadn't expected Lucifer to have been the one to had taken it. Perhaps he'd assumed it belonged to one of his brothers. Later you'd have to find him and apologize.

In the meantime, you meandered through the library, raking your fingertips over the spines of book likely older than you, searching for something interesting. You tried to read the titles, but eventually got lost in thought. You'd never heard Lucifer sound so defeated or genuinely sorry. It just proved how much he really cared. After wandering for you weren't sure how long, you finally selected a book about potions. It seemed interesting enough, and you might learn a thing or two. Besides, it gave you something to talk to Solomon about next to you saw him.

As you made your way back to where you were seated before, you noticed things were not they way you'd left them. A plush looking blanket was thrown over your armchair, and the fireplace was now lit, causing the room to be cast with a warm glow. However, the one thing that caught your attention the most was the mug sitting on the coffee table. Steam curled over the lip and it was in Lucifer's favorite mug. As you got closer, the distinct smell of coffee flooded your senses. Finally, the man responsibly for it came back into the room holding a small plate of cookies. When he saw you, an apologetic smile tugged at the corner of his mouth; that was rare sight.

"Ah, Mc. I was hoping I had more time to set up. I didn't realize you were still here." He set the plate down next to the mug. "This is for you." He gestured towards what he'd brought. You couldn't help but smile yourself. The effort he'd went to wasn't something you'd expect out of the avatar of pride himself. He really did care.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for overreacting." You set the book down.

"You reacted in an appropriate way. I should not have just taken what belonged to someone else. There is no need to be sorry." Before he could continue speaking, you threw yourself onto him and pulled him into a hug. You felt him chuckle while putting his arms around you in turn.

"You make it impossible to give you the cold shoulder, you know that, right?" You deeply exhaled, but this time, it was a happy one. His smile turned a little cheeky at your remark.

"Come enjoy your coffee before it gets cold." He took your hand and led you towards the chair. This side of Lucifer wasn't something he exposed often, but you loved it.

#2k followers special #obey me #obey me!#obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date?#obey me! shall we date

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eliashirsch · 3 days

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God Tier Top Gun Fanfictions. A Masterlist. (4/3)

More Top Gun fic recs:)) Different pairings ahead.

Winner Categories:

1. Best of the Best Authors (1/3)

2. Best of the Best Series (2/3)

3. Best of the Best Fics (3/3)

4. Honorary Mentions (4/3)

REMINDER! READ THE AUTHORS' TAGS AND WARNINGS!!!

Honorary Mentions

gold rush by gamerring @asimmutableasgravity

All his life, Jake Seresin has wanted to live his life as loud as possible. So that when he dies, people can place flowers on his casket. When the light hits him, sunbaked and smiling and grinning. He's whole and happy and everything he could ever want. He bites down on his teeth. Later, he hunches over the porcelain, petals falling out of his mouth, and is already one step in his grave. - Flowers, fighter pilots and the true fatality of your feelings spilling out.

Jake angst:)) And here’s another one from gamerring:

it's nice to have a friend by gamerring

"Will you marry me?" Ice is on his knees. His posture screams military, but his face is genuine. His eyebrows are furrowed in worry and a hesitant smile plays at his lips. The ring sits in a green velvet box. The band is gold and shiny, with a diamond inlaid in the middle. The rock seems to glow under the sunset, and Maverick's heart starts beating against his chest. This- it's spectacular. It's breathtaking. It's not for him. He bites his cheek for a microsecond, and then forces a smile."That's great. She can't say no to that." And a traitorous part of his soul hopes she does. - Three times Maverick should have said something, and the one time he did.

Just read the summary:) (This is canon.)

Lessons in pushing boundaries by will_thewisp

Maverick never needed lessons in pushing boundaries. Not if those boundaries are about going faster, further or screwing up on an ever increasing scale, because he'd run off the edge of the world before he'd let a thought that scared him shitless take root in his mind. It was enough that it was already in his heart. Or Maverick crashes the Darkstar and needs a very long time to learn that there's things that can and should be fixed. And that he's always had the tools to do it.

Don’t forget a tissue when reading this!

Amen by demiclar @demiclar

"What do you want done with your body when you die?" Pete Mitchell grieves his best friend.

Can you tell I love Mav angst?:)

Vanilla Milk by Specter_Ross

After the mission, Rooster is struggling to sleep so Maverick pulls some old methods out from when Bradley was a kid, in hopes of helping him.

I never get tired of reading MavDad and Bradley:)

A Perch Built for Two by chase_acow @cowsalot

Rooster is well known for keeping his own company, but between Maverick's reemergence and the suicide mission, Hangman manages to weasel his way into Bradley's attention. He's never let an alpha so close to him before, but Hangman might be the best choice - experienced and unlikely to ask for more than Bradley was willing to give. Unfortunately for him, it's Bradley who wants more, and he has no idea how to ask for it.

Another win for Hangster!

A Little Unconventional by McDanno50

Maverick didn’t know how he ended up here a month after the mission – on his back with his legs spread for not one, but two, hungry alphas. These alphas wanted Maverick so much that they no longer fought but worked together all in the name of mutual pleasure. It felt too good to be true, like a fevered dream conjured up by a broken mind. But even if he couldn’t believe his eyes, he had four other senses to rely on. A self-indulgent fic in which Omega!Maverick gets fucked by Alpha!Bradley and Alpha!Jake. That's literally it.

Mav/Bradley/Jake:)))))

Not Clamorous For Pardon by Arsenic @arsenicjade33

Okay, but what if the Navy didn't outlaw flogging as a punishment in 1896? Asking for a friend.

Another one of my favorite tropes: Mav being bullied by the Navy:(

still dangerous by cygnettine

Where was he? Jake was to his right, Bradley in front of him, the girls between their dads. Someone was missing. He was missing. Why was he missing? He was supposed to be there; that was a family dinner and he was family, he was his whole soul, why wasn’t he there? *** Maverick loses himself and wanders helplessly in his own mind until someone finally comes to his rescue.

Mav has Alzheimer's Disease:(

take a chance on the edge of life by Lacerta

It was a suicide mission. Of course they didn't succeed on their first try. - When Maverick dies, he loops back to the morning before.

An Edge of Tomorrow AU. Love this one.

you've got the win in your bag by discosleaze @paulmezcal

“I’m going to go in and get something pierced, and if you’re a good boy, it’ll be my nipple. If you’re not, it’ll be my tongue.” Speaking of tongues, Bradley just about swallows his. “Why would that be a bad thing?” he croaks out, not enjoying how amused Jake is, mocking, even. “Well, Bradshaw, because I wouldn’t be able to blow you for weeks afterwards.” Jake contemplates a second piercing, Bradley contemplates nothing.

asdfghfghjkjhgfdsadfg. This one’s too hot for me.

How Big? by thenofutureshoe

"Most people would have had to give themselves a pep-talk, most people would have been nervous or unsure of the whole thing, Maverick Mitchell was not most people. He was a fucking power bottom and proud of it. This was not his first rodeo, pun intended. And he always got his man." Once Maverick hears the story behind Slider's callsign, it sounds more like a challenge than anything else.

This one… I never thought their difference in size could be this hot…

a dream of crashing by thefireplanet

Maverick buys a plane. Somehow, this becomes Iceman’s problem.

THIS ONE’S NOT COMPLETED! But it’s still so fun to read and the characterization is spot on!

and the bunny goes 𝒽𝑜𝓅, 𝒽𝑜𝓅, 𝒽𝑜𝓅 by Meadow_Wanderer

Contrary to expectation, he rarely measures time by the number of years he's lived without his father. Instead, he appraises in happenings. Every birthday, school graduation, and precious firsts; every milestone passing as the memory of his father becomes fainter and fainter until finally he reaches the last occasion where the end and the beginning meet, the son and the sire a breath's width apart, like reaching to touch one's reflection in the mirror. The very same one he'll face in just shy of a few hours.

Weird and fun!

you are not alone (i watch over you) by redwithlove

“Bradley, do you remember the time when you were eight and you wouldn't let me near your Pops for two days?” “What, really? Why?” “Yeah, for two whole days, can you believe it? And it all started over a can of Pringles.” Or—Bradley with Ice and Maverick over the years.

Mav and Ice and Bradley being family:) My favorite genre of topgun fics:))

PHEW! That's all the fics I've got! Thanks for reading until the end! Don't forget to leave a comment on these fics if you enjoyed them!

Here's my google doc for all four categories! >> God Tier Top Gun Fanfictions: A Masterlist

#as always if you know these authors' tumblrs feel free to tag them!#and tell me if i tagged the wrong person or put the wrong link:')#this was a fun journey and i was reminded of how much fun i had reading all of these!#i hope y'all enjoyed my yapping:)#icemav #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #iceman x maverick #top gun 1986 #top gun maverick #top gun #hangster #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #fanfic rec #top gun fic recs #fanfiction recommendation

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anti-endo-haven · 19 hours

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I am someone who doesn't have DID but is very interested in psychology and learning as much about the disorders that I do not have, as well as the ones that I do have, as possible.

I was just wondering what you thought about something that I saw on TikTok (I know, not a very reliable place to find information).

There was someone who claimed to be a DID specialist who implied that Endogenic systems are just as valid as traumagenic systems because they could potentially just be traumagenic systems that are super covert even to themselves.

Okay, so, getting into this.

Yes, there are OSDDID systems within the endogenic community because they’re being gaslit into believing that what they have gone through “isn’t enough to form a system.” Trauma is a response and a child will react to things differently. If you, hypothetically, had two separate kids with the same trauma or traumatizing experience, they wouldn’t be 100% similar. There could be similarities, but each child will survive differently.

This does not make endogenic and non-traumagenic systems valid. They’re causing harm to others, harassing others, and are actively trying to demedicalize a disorder because it doesn’t include them.

They want OSDDID systems to make terms that will always include endos when the brain cannot fragment without trauma or a stressor.

You cannot have alters unless you have the disorder, the trauma that causes the disorder, and the stress (even if you don’t even realize you are stressed or it’s stress from a while ago or resurfaced memories causing that split). There might be times where someone won’t know the reason someone has split or a new alter has returned from dormancy or something like that which is okay, but you cannot have an endogenic system or alter.

But there are absolutely OSDDID systems stuck in endogenic communities and are unable to get out because they’ll be harassed, threatened, doxxed, anything. The endogenic community is a threat to trauma survivors, doesn’t make them valid, and they actively want to tell survivors if their trauma is or isn’t “enough.”

If that person on the TikTok was a genuine specialist? No idea, but there’s a difference between endogenic systems and trauma survivors being gaslit and hurt because someone wants to keep them on their side.

TikTok is also not a good place for information as misinformation and disinformation can spread worse than the bubonic plague. Please be wary of what you believe from there and always double check your sources and do research on your own, even with other social medias including Tumblr, Twitter, etc.. You can never do “too much” research. (I know that you’re aware of this, but still stating.)

#anti endo #endos dni #did system #system #osddid #actually did #did plural #traumagenic system #endos not for you #osdd plural #did plurality #osdd plurality #tw dormancy mention #tw syscourse #syscourse

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autistichalsin · 1 day

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I got upset at my mom and came across really passive aggressive. And I didn't mean to, and I regret it. I just... she does this thing that makes me so mad

She brags all the time about how she was such a great mom. But her examples are, for some MYSTERIOUS REASON, only ever things she did for my older brother and sister. She had his friends over all the time and they called her Mom too! She drove him to football! She drove my sister to over 10 orchestra-related events a week until she got so burned out she banned us all from doing any activities that required a ride the next year!

She mysteriously never has any such stories for me.

This time she was going on and on about how she was such a great mom because when my brother was 17 he got his first job washing dishes at a restaurant and she'd drive across town at midnight every night to pick him up from work.

Meanwhile, when I was 18 and wanted to get a job, she told me I was to go to college (and she wouldn't hear any of that "I don't want student loan debt" nonsense because EVERYONE gets loans and I needed to just suck it up.) Despite her always insisting we were welcome as long as we got a job or went to school, she changed her tune for me and me only. She threatened to kick me out if I got a job. I asked if I could stay long enough to save money for my own place, and she snapped no, I couldn't use her like that. So I went to college, when I didn't want to yet, and predictably am in massive amounts of debt that it will take me most of my life to pay off. She would later go on to say she never actually meant it about kicking me out, she just wanted me to "do what I was meant to do" and needed a push to "get my life together." Because getting a job means your life isn't together, apparently.

But she gave my older brother rides from work. So she's a great mom. The best mom ever.

I got really angry when she did this yet again and kind of laughed but made it sound lighthearted. She said back something like "oh you laugh but you know I was a great mom."

So then I just said, well, when I wanted to get a job, you told me you'd kick me out if I did it.

She went quiet and gave this weird guilt trippy non-apology about how she's soooo sorry about what she did but she still feels she was a great mom, she just had some issues when she was drinking.

I feel bad for being passive aggressive about it, but I can't stand when she does this. She wants me to tell me she was a great mother because she was capable of treating her golden children well. And she wants me to judge her based on that and not how I, the scapegoat, was treated.

Like!!! She got drunk and told me she wished she could kill me. You never get to call yourself a good parent again once you do that. Not even if it was only once and you were drunk and you actually WERE good before that (which she really wasn't). And you especially don't get to claim that TO the child you said it to.

She drove my older two siblings to all these things, and then never showed up to a single track meet of mine. When I complained to her about it at the end of the year, she said, "you know, I've heard of 40 year olds who tell their parents it hurt when they didn't do that, but I've never heard of someone complaining while they're still young." She rarely came to any of my orchestra performances unless my sister was also there.

In fact, she asked the whole family to help out with money to send my sister on a music department trip, and then the next year, when I was old enough to do it, said they couldn't ask the family twice because it would be weird, and then told the rest of the family that I only did music because I wanted to be like my sister, guaranteeing none of them actually would think I WANTED to go on the trip so they wouldn't help me. I asked if I could do a program the school offered where I could help out at concessions at the sports events so I could save money to go, and she snapped "they shouldn't be making you work so you can go." So I didn't get to go.

So yeah, if you judge her by how she treated her golden children, she was pretty fucking stellar, I guess. If you judge her by how she treated the forgotten child (my little brother) she was alright. But if you judge her by how she treated me?

And then she fucking wonders why I'm closer to my dad.

God I'm so fucking mad.

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sansa286 · 21 hours

Text

Political Reasons to Support Either Team (Season 2 Edition)

Let's say you're a Westerosi citizen, noble or smallfolk, and the Dance of the Dragons has started. We'll pick up right where season 1 ends and season 2 begins. This will focus solely on the political side of things and will not bring into account outside factors like character analysis; while yes, we the audience know Aemond killing Luke was an accident, the average person in Westeros does not, and likely never will. This is about what a Westerosi citizen might be thinking, not why an audience member might side with one team over the other. I put "Season 2 Edition" because this is bound to change as the series progresses and I may have to update as the war escalates.

We're going to start with Team Green as they currently hold King's Landing and, sanctioned or not, on purpose or not, with Luke's death, they're the one's who've officially called for war.

1.) Precedent is Maintained

With Aegon being named king, the precedent that men and boys come before women and girls in succession is maintained. Notice I said precedent and not law, as we've seen numerous times, including in the time period House of the Dragon takes place in, that notion can and does get challenged. But it's still something widely accepted. If you're a the first son, then you will more than likely be Team Green because if Rhaenyra takes the throne, then that means the older sister(s) you have could pose a real threat to what you believe is truly yours. So, in a way, not only is the precedent maintained, so is stability in the realm, as quarreling and attempted usurpations between sisters and brothers won't be normalized.

2.) Cultural Significance

While King's Landing is the capitol of Westeros, Oldtown is the largest city in and home to two of some of the most important cultural institutions in the country: the Faith of the Seven with the Starry Sept and the Citadel. Aegon is not only half-Hightower from his mother, the previous Queen Consort, but he also has a member of House Hightower as his Hand on his Small Council. House Hightower's support actually means a lot in this scenario because they themselves are one of the most influential houses in Westeros at this time. They're an ancient house, have maintained their status, respect, and wealth. They've also been involved with the royal family for some time. This connection to a cultural hub in Westeros will also impress the smallfolk, who may view Team Green as more "relatable" due to their Reach connections. Alicent donning Faith of the Seven jewelry and placing symbols of it throughout the castle is not just simply a show of faith, but also a way to signal to the other lords and ladies "hey, I'm like you."

3.) Well-Seasoned Politicians

The people that currently sit on Aegon's council are mostly well-seasoned and well-known politicians who've helped Viserys rule over a relatively peaceful period in Westeros; these familiar faces will be seen as a symbol for the continued prosperity Westeros can have under Aegon as he is surrounded by good advisors. In contrast to Rhaenyra, who will probably not keep her father's old Small Council (as they plotted her downfall for a decade plus) and thus things will be unsure, however, you can rest assured Daemon will surely be sitting at that table. From a nobleman standpoint this will make you uneasy, as you don't trust Daemon, who's made it a point to make a lot of enemies.

Now let's move on to Team Black, who currently have the ball in their court.

1.) Active and Experienced Leader

Rhaenyra sat on her father's Small Council for over a decade and ruled Dragonstone, the seat of the heir, for about six years with virtually no hiccups. And in that time, she birthed several children. Simply put: she's shown her dedication to the craft of learning to rule and engaging with it. Aegon does not have that reputation at all. Rhaenyra had rumors surrounding the paternity of her children, but to someone who values good leadership from the person in charge and not just their Small Council, Rhaenyra is clearly the way to go.

2.) Male Primogeniture Has Run Its Course (into the ground)

Say you're one of the several women in Westeros who currently holds a land and title, and you're sick of being challenged by your male family members, some being quite obscure, for your birthright. Say you're a lord with only daughters and would like your house to continue through one of them over your brother, nephew or cousin without any detractors or the potential of one of your daughters getting attacked once you've died. Perhaps you have really a crappy son(s) and a well-rounded older daughter(s) who show better potential for ruling well and you'd just simply prefer absolute primogeniture for the sake of your house. While there is no guarantee that Rhaenyra will implement this policy universally, if you try to go against the grain and name a woman or girl as your heir, you will have a reference point from the highest seat of power in the country.

3.) Respecting Wishes

Let's be honest: no one has an actual reason to believe Alicent when she said Viserys wanted Aegon to be the heir right before he died. While she definitely believes that, and while the audience knows that Viserys never intended for Aegon to be king, even in context, it sounds like a lie and no one, not even people on Team Green, believe her. If people playing on her team don't believe her, why would anyone else? For over twenty years, Viserys maintained that he wanted Rhaenyra as his heir, never waivered, and had witnesses both in the court session and at the following dinner affirm his decision to keep her as his heir. Put it simply: if you're someone with any sort of power, this would be quite concerning. If the king cannot have his wishes honored even in death, then what's stopping someone from doing the same to you?

BONUS: Neither/Both

If you're a member of the smallfolk, you'll be screwed over by war regardless of who wins. Crops will get burned, towns raided, family murdered and assaulted etc... The succession aspect doesn't matter to you, because you nor your family will ever have an ancestral seat, so what do you care? Hoping for a peaceful resolution between the family or not giving a damn about either is a more than sensible stance to take.

If you're a member of the nobility, playing it safe by waiting out the war and accepting whoever wins or only claiming a side when there's a clear winner is also a viable option. You nor any of your family or armies have to risk their lives in battle, and you'll keep your land. But, you might get a reputation for being a fence-sitter and get perpetually side-eyed by whoever the ruling monarch ends up being.

#house of the dragon #hotd #team black #team green #westeros #asoiaf #fire & blood #hotd season 2 #analysis #in-universe meta #if that's even a thing

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crescencestudio · 1 day

Note

I really want to know what would each LI prefer to get as gifts (definitely not because Fenir's birthday is like more than a month away and I want to be sure for future plans), I kind of guessed they would appreciate anything MC came up with, but is there anything specific they'd like to receive?

U REMEMBER FENIR'S BIRTHDAY?????? ((he's blushing))

🎁 LI's Preferred Gifts

Kayn: i think because they've received so many gifts over the years, they would go crazy over sentimental kind of gifts. so like a locket where they can put a picture of you in it. a perfume/candle that smells like a place you two went to together... things like that!

Druk: likes experience-type gifts. so anything you two can do together or with friends. can be a small trip, a massage, a nice dinner, cooking class, etc. basically anything where you can make some memories!

Fenir: anything related to books/reading. can be an actual book or things that enhance the reading experience, like a comfy blanket or anything that he can use to make notes in his books (cute post-its, highlighter colors, etc.). feel like if kindle's existed in the alaris world, he'd go crazy over one

Etza: they're the type of person who doesn't like to spend money on themself, so i think any elevated, functional gift would go a long way! for example, they would be the type to use the most basic wired headphones and use those forever. so if you got them a really nice pair of headphones, they would be speechless.

Kuna'a: i legit can't think of anything this guy would want yall LFAJISELIFJSELIJ.... this is a man of SIMPLE MEANS... i literally think one of those "i owe you" kind of gifts would be best. like u know those cheesy gifts people give of like "one coupon to redeem a massage from me" and stuff like that? i think he'd go crazy over that.

Aisa: for some reason i feel like aisa would tweak out over something really simple like a bouquet--just like something they're not used to getting. i think as someone who's a bit colder/stronger, they don't typically receive gifts that speak to their softer, feminine side so i could see something like a bouquet making them melt

#alaris #asks #anon #kayn #druk #fenir #etza #kuna'a #aisa

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snorky · 2 days

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hi, so idk if u still write for canucks nils hoglander, so if you don't im so sorry for bothering you. if you do, would you be able to write an imagine where nils is interested in one of the canucks employees, like social media or reporter and is trying to ask her out but fails multiple times before eventually with some help asking her out?

You're A Forbidden Delicacy, And I Won't Leave A Crumb

Hey y’all! And hello to the lovely requester! I still do write for Nils, so thank you for the request (which I really love and got carried away with). I really apologize to everyone for how long this has taken me, my life has been all over the place and I am still trying to get things sorted out, but I truly, from the bottom of my heart appreciate the patience you all have. This is a Nils Höglander fic, with a F!Reporter!Reader, which is a little longer than what my stories are normally. I hope you all enjoy this fic, and please remember to take care of yourself!

Word Count: 6.1k

Pairing: Nils Höglander x F!Reader

Warnings: Romantic tension, kissing? (Let me know if I need to add anything)

—

A knock was heard on the door to her office, where she was deep in her work preparing for tonight’s game, followed by the familiar voice of her colleague and friend.

“Hey lovely! Here are the spreadsheets and rundown of the stats from the last three games,” her friend said, setting a few papers on her desk.

She smiled back and felt a wave of relief. “Thank you,” she sighed. “I was wondering when the stats would come in from my favorite data analyst.”

“Oh, stop,” she chuckled. “You know how playoffs are.”

She nodded in agreement, noticing that the energy within the air, and more specifically, the arena, was more electrifying than ever.

Looking up from the documents, she saw one of the players walk by the door, giving her a smile and a friendly wave before walking off. She knew him, Nils Höglander, but she had only had small-talk and nothing more.

Her friend looked over her shoulder, a knowing smile appearing on her face. “Someone caught your eye?”

The blush on her face seemed to intensify, almost shamefully like a kid caught with candy. “No—” Taking a quick sip of her water, she hoped that the warmth on her face eased up.

“Alright, take it easy, go Canucks!” she cheered as she walked out of the office.

A smile made its way to her face as she turned back to her work. “Go Canucks!”

An hour or two passed by as she worked on reading the documents, preparing how she was going to announce the pregame reports, and making sure everything was finalized and set.

It was a fun, fast-paced job that kept her on her toes constantly, and she thrived in it, living in the rush and wanting more of the adrenaline. More rowdiness from the fans, more chants and cheers, and more passion from the city that was hungry for a cup.

“Hello?”

She drew her attention away from her laptop and towards her door, where she saw Quinn standing there, gear still on from the morning skate and practice.

“Hi Quinn, how can I help you?”

He scanned her desk, seemingly searching for something before his eyes landed on her coffee.

“What’s your go-to Tim’s order?” he asked.

She looked at him quizzically, wondering why he asked such a question out of the blue, but didn’t think too much about it. “Vanilla latte, why?”

“Nothin’” he shrugged, clearly more than nothing. “Have a nice day.” He walked away with a sly smile, making her more confused than nothing.

“You…too, Quinn,” she said, looking at her coffee with suspicion.

As she took a sip, it tasted the same still, maybe a little more room temperature, but nothing odd or wrong.

A few more hours passed, and before she knew it, the clock was counting down till puck drop. The arena already felt alive, the familiar blue and green decor that hung around her office reminding her.

She got up from her desk, making her way out of her office as her shoes tapped on the floor, echoing down the hall. Having all the important information and stats in her mind, she felt confident about how tonight’s game will go.

When she made it near the rink, she was greeted by a few other of her co-workers, as well as the media crew for the team, gear and equipment and smiles all set. The ice in the rink looked fresh and crisp, ready for a tough game.

“Ready for Game Six?” One of her co-workers asked.

She smiled and straightened up her posture, pride swelling within her. “Born ready. Go ‘Nucks.”

As the camera went live, everything else came naturally to her. The confidence, the excitement, and the adrenaline.

“Welcome back to Bridgestone Arena everyone, where tonight, the Canucks will face off again against the Nashville Predators in Game Six of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, hoping to eliminate the Predators, and advance to the second round.”

The arena started to fill up with fans, mainly fans of the Predators, but there were a few Canucks jerseys spread throughout.

Skaters headed out onto the ice, preparing to warm up as the arena cheered for each side, hoping that their team would win tonight’s game.

Adrenaline. Euphoria. Pride. So many emotions swelling inside of her, and she felt so alive and yet lost in a dream.

“As the Canucks hope to grab a win, the spotlight stands on the top players, with Boeser having four goals in this post-season, all within the past three games, and J.T. Miller with six points, pushing the Canucks forward in the playoffs,”

The statistics sounded impressive, and even on paper they looked unbelievable, but it was the Canucks, and she saw the potential long ago as they were developing.

One player especially caught her eye, but she would never admit to who, because it was mainly extremely unprofessional of her, and also because of the complications it could bring up.

And as if the devil cursed her thoughts, she met his eyes as the media crew was moved behind the bench, sharing a smile as he went and got a quick sip of his water before skating back out onto the ice.

“Hoping Höglander scores huh?”

She turned her head quickly to the voice her friend before turning away, hoping she didn’t see the blush that was dusted on her cheeks.

“Best hope is that every Canuck scores one,” she laughed, trying to push the topic somewhere else.

Her friend let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh gosh, and I’d be the one needing to calculate all the stats,”

As the warmups came to an end, a few of the players returned to the bench, Nils being one of them, and he gave her a quick smile and wave before refocusing on the game that his teammates were playing.

With quick plays and quick movements, the puck moved up and down the ice, from offense to defense, keeping everyone in the arena on their toes.

Fans roared with each close call, the atmosphere buzzing, static in the air, and before she knew it, the first intermission was starting.

The players poured into the tunnel, making their way back to the locker room after no goals from either team in the first period. Tensions still felt high, like a cord that could snap at any moment.

She waited out on the bench, fiddling with a pen and her notepad as her manager was trying to find one of the players to interview for a brief moment, hoping to get a word or two about the current game.

After a few minutes, she saw Brock walking out with her manager, a gentle expression on his face as usual.

The interview went smoothly as the rest of the night did, with one goal from the Canucks that led to a win as they advanced to the next round of the playoffs.

In the locker room afterwards, the locker room was rowdy, players and coaches celebrating their win with as much energy as they could. It set the stage for greatness, hope lingering in the air for a long playoff run.

Across the locker room from the doorway she stood under, her eyes met Nils, looking slightly disheveled, a mess even, but he still looked so, fulfilling. He smiled when he noticed her gaze, his eyes crinkling up.

And as the night eased in, the sky outside a crisp darkness, she walked to her car in the parking lot, her work bag slung over her shoulder as she was ready to go home, exhausted, but at ease.

A gentle smile was plastered on her face, gratitude for every little thing she worked so hard for to end up in the career field she was in, all the work paying off.

As she reached for the car door, she saw a figure walking towards her, at a rather quick pace, and she rushed to try and unlock the car.

The footsteps came closer, near stomping against the ground, and she felt panic.

“Hey! Wait, I need to talk to you!”

Turning her head quickly, her unease didn’t seem to dissipate despite the slightly familiar voice.

She unlocked her door frantically, got inside and locked it immediately, trying to recompose herself, still clutching her bag against her.

The man tapped on the window, causing her to lose the color in her face for a quick moment before realizing that it was Nils.

Letting out a breath, relief filled her, but she quickly started to scold him. “Nils, what the hell!”

“Sorry, sorry, I wanted to ask you a question,” he said sheepishly, voice muffled by the fact that he was outside.

She rolled down the window, a tight lipped smile on her face. “Yes?” Noticing how he seemed to fidget awkwardly, her expression slowly changed to concern. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he responded. “I was just wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me sometime, I’d like to get to know you more,”

His face was a pinkish tint, illuminated by the interior light of her car. A warm blush started to envelope her face at his question, but she knew it felt wrong.

“Nils, I’m sorry but as much as I would like that, it would be unprofessional for the both of us, and we could lose our job.” Her tone remained professional, but there was a twinge of somberness within it.

A disappointed, but understanding smile appeared on his face. “I get it.” He was still sweet as ever, and she even felt a little guilty at her answer. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Alright, have a good night Nils, you did great tonight,” she smiled.

Smiling back, he gave her a nod of appreciation. “You did as well. Have a good night,”

He walked away from her car, looking back only once to notice that she kept her eyes on him, but pulled away when he saw.

She drove away, off into the night where the traffic died down, and where the Vancouver glow was as dreamy as it always was to her, an ageless magic.

Morning came, sunrise bright and early as she arrived back at the arena. There was no game planned for the day, only practice and training to prepare for the next game.

As she walked down the hall to her office, she noticed that her door was open, despite having locked it the night before. The only people who were also in the arena as early as her were the players, coaches, and athletic trainers.

Stepping into her office, she saw a cup of coffee placed on her desk, along with a sticky note beside it. It smelt familiar, and as she took a sip, she noticed that it was her order.

She read the sticky note, and it was a sweet message from Nils hoping that her day would go well, and a smile drawn at the end.

It was a sweet gesture, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at the note as she read it over again, somehow trying to dissect a deeper meaning.

“Oh, so you found it,” Quinn chuckled.

Startled by his sudden presence, she jumped, spilling a little bit of coffee on her sweater.

“Ow!” Yelping in slight pain, her face was hot in embarrassment. “Sorry, I’m okay,” she laughed nervously, attempting to somehow magically wipe the stain away.

“I should apologize,” he said, grabbing some tissues from her desk. “Nils is not going to be too happy with me for making you spill coffee on your clothes,”

Like clockwork, he walked by her office and saw the commotion, brow perked up in curiosity. “What about me?”

Turning her head over to look at him, she had a sheepish smile, still holding the note and coffee in her hands. “Hi, Nils.”

He noticed the stain on her clothes, and motioned to her to give him a minute as he ran off, leaving both Quinn and her confused.

Setting the tissues on the table, he muttered out an apology before running off after Nils down the hall.

Now, she was even more confused, unsure of everything that had happened. Putting everything down, she settled on just starting on her work, checking emails and the schedule for the day.

Minutes passed by, and her friend knocked on the door to her office, handing her the spreadsheets of the statistics.

“Good morning lovely, I got you your stats in case anyone was up for interviews today,” she said, still sweet as ever.

Giving her a light laugh, she shook her head. “Thanks, but no thanks. Spilled coffee on myself and I don’t think I’d like to be on camera today.” She pointed to her clothes.

“Awh, really? That’s terrible,” she sighed, sitting down in the chair in front of her desk. “If I had a spare shirt, I’d give it to you in a heartbeat.”

She put her hand over her heart, “Really? You’re always so sweet,”

Another knock came on her door, and they both looked up from her laptop and documents. Nils was standing here under the doorframe, holding a Canucks sweatshirt in his hands.

“Did I interrupt something?” His voice was barely above a whisper, careful and cautious.

She shook her head with a smile, motioning for him to come in. “Not at all,”

Her friend gave her a smirk and a knowing look. “I need to go get something from my office, see you near the rink,” she said, standing up and walking out of her office.

It was just him standing and her sitting in the office now, the hum of her speakers playing music softly, and time flowed like a river of honey.

The way he looked at her was gentle, warm, and she wanted him to keep looking at her like this forever. His slightly disheveled hair made him look even more raw, something in its purest form.

“I got you one of my sweatshirts,” he spoke softly, afraid to break the air that seemed so intoxicating. “So you don’t have to wear the one with the coffee stain.”

His eyes seemed to observe her every movement, trailing up her arm and to her face as she looked up at him.

She placed her hand on his forearm cautiously, afraid of him pulling away. “You didn’t have to Nils, I’m alright.”

Shaking his head, he wouldn’t take her words. “I insist,”

Her hand moved towards the sweatshirt hesitantly, eyes still looking at him, and stopping before actually reaching it.

“It’ll look better on you, and probably more comfortable.” His voice was quiet, his words easing from his lips.

Silently nodding, she accepted the sweatshirt from his hands as he kept his gaze on her. The air was hot and thick, like a jelly-dessert with extra sweet whipped cream dolloped on the top, a tart maraschino reminding her of the consequences if she made a mistake.

She got up from her desk, walking over to the door of her office. “I’ll go change into this, you can stay a little longer.” Twisting the doorknob, she walked out, leaving Nils still standing there in her office, leaning against the desk.

When she came back from the bathroom, his Canucks sweatshirt on her loosely, holding her stained sweater, he was still there, just as she hoped, but yet, she felt the fear of being caught creeping up on her.

“Don’t you have practice?” she asked, voice careful.

He tilted his head quizzically, almost pondering her words delicately. “You know I have more than a few minutes to spare,” he said, walking over to her. “Most of the guys don’t come into the locker room until ten anyways.”

His hand trailed to the bottom hem of her sweatshirt, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. Looking up at her, he searched for any sign of discomfort, and she stood there, looking back at him, blushed and flustered, wanting more of him.

“Don’t be so nervous, it’s just us in here,” he whispered. “This looks a lot better on you than it does on me, keep it.”

As he let go of the sweatshirt, she found herself wanting to feel his touch on it again, but when she looked up, he was already waving good-bye as he walked out of her office.

A sigh escaped her lips, unaware of the breath that she held. She walked back to her desk, flipping through the documents as she waited for time to pass.

None of it felt real. The past few moments, or even days, were slightly different and odd. Maybe it was the rush of the playoffs, skewing everything into a different perspective, or maybe, it was something else that she was too afraid to admit.

Her phone buzzed on her desk, causing her to be pulled away from her work.

We need you near the ice right now - Fav Data Analyst

No you don’t?

Yeah you’re right, but I miss you :( - Fav Data Analyst

Okay, be down in a bit

Smiling at the messages, she felt grateful for how tight-knit the crew seemed to be, feeling like a second family.

Shortly later, she was met with the smile and wave of her friend, calling her over to the bench. A few other members of the media and training crew were also at the bench, watching the practice unfold in front of them.

“So glad you’re here, it gets a little lonely,”

She looked at her in slight confusion, “With all these people around you?” She gestured.

“They’re not you,” her friend shrugged.

Laughing at her words, she noticed that it caught the attention of Nils on the ice, his eyes almost burning into her for a brief moment.

“You’re such a flirt, unnecessary.”

Her friend raised a brow at her, observing the sweatshirt that she was wearing. “I think that the only thing unnecessary is the fact that I’m one-hundred percent sure I’ve seen that sweatshirt somewhere,”

Rose tinted her cheeks as she felt slightly embarrassed, knowing that her friend knew exactly where she got the sweatshirt from.

A few minutes passed by, and she saw that Nils was skating back to the bench to grab a drink of his water. The way he looked at her while taking a sip could only be described as desire, eyeing her up like a kid looking at pastries from outside the glass.

His scruff seemed to fit him perfectly, rough and raw, and at the same time, gentle like himself. The playoffs definitely ignited something in him, and she found herself wanting to watch it all.

Before she could realize, practice was over, and the players were skating off of the ice one by one. Grabbing her bag, she walked back up to where her office was.

It was nearing lunch time, but she wanted to tidy up her office space a bit before heading out. She put the documents that her friend gave to her in a folder, placing it inside of her bag along with her laptop.

The cup of coffee from Nils was still on her desk, finished and empty, and so she threw it in the trash, but kept the handwritten note.

As she locked the door to her office, she turned around and bumped directly into Nils, crashing into him.

“Shoot! I’m so sorry—”

“You’re okay.”

His strong hands were placed on the sides of her arms, stabilizing her. Looking at him, he was slightly flushed, a bead of sweat or two lining his brow from the practice.

“Sorry, where are you headed?” he asked, hands quickly moving off of her when he noticed what he was doing. “Just wondering, I don’t mean to be weird or anything—”

“Don’t worry about it, Nils. I’m just headed to the Chipotle nearby for a quick lunch,” she said lightly, almost caught off guard by how less bold he seemed compared to earlier.

A bright smile appeared on his face, “Oh, really? Because I was just about to head over too,” he laughed, a sweet blush dusting his face.

“Awh, that’s neat.” Her response was less than what she wanted to say, but she wanted to keep it professional.

They both walked towards the exit of the arena together, silence shared between the both of them as they were greeted by the warm weather, unfamiliar for Vancouver.

The streets were busy as usual, the rush of traffic coming and going, but it didn’t bother her since she was walking, not driving. As much as she hated traffic, she couldn’t deny the fact that it looked mesmerizing from afar at night, the glow of the headlights mimicking the city.

When she arrived at the restaurant, it was jam packed with people, not surprising for the time of day, but it was something that she wasn’t expecting.

She felt an arm nudge her side, drawing her attention towards Nils.

“I’ll pay for our food, it’s on me,”

“You don’t have to—”

He shook his head in disagreement, motioning for her to get in the queue with him, to which she followed behind him as they waited in line.

Her eyes scanned the room nervously, hoping to not see her boss or any of her co-workers at the restaurant since she was out with Nils.

If she was caught, she could potentially lose her job, which meant everything to her, but more importantly, she would have to be away from those she grew closest to. Away from Vancouver, and away from Nils.

And as if on cue, he started speaking, only loud enough for the both of them to hear. “Management won’t fire us for having a friendly lunch together, we’re okay,”

She simply nodded in response, a tight-lipped smile that still had a hint of unease to it.

After they got their orders, they decided to go back into the arena to eat rather than at the restaurant, food in hand as they walked there. It was a quiet and peaceful walk, but the weather started to turn into a cloudy gray, rain threatening to fall.

Looking up at the sky, she could tell it was only going to get worse. “Weather doesn’t look too good,” she mumbled, hoping that her papers wouldn’t get ruined.

He hummed in response, also looking up at the sky. “We should hurry,”

“Oh, really?” Her tone was sarcastic as she laughed, which in turn caused him to laugh as well.

He had a mischievous look in his eyes, and she knew that he had something in mind. “I’ll race you to the lounge in the arena,”

Before she could speak, he was already sprinting in the direction of the arena, and she followed suit, wondering how she would even catch up.

While she was running after him, she saw Elias near the front, most likely waiting for his food to be delivered.

“Petey! I need you to do a quick favor for me please,” she blurted, slightly out of breath.

He looked at her in confusion, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah?”

“I need you to unlock the lounge door.”

Shrugging, he led the way to the elevator as they headed up to the floor that the lounge was on. He then unlocked the door, to which she thanked him plenty of times for as he walked back to get his own food.

Throwing herself onto one of the chairs that was in the lounge, she let out a sigh of relief, food still in the bag and unopened.

“How on earth did you get here before me—”

She turned her head to the door, seeing Nils there, panting, out of breath, hand holding onto the door frame. His hair was soaked, dripping onto his shirt, most likely from the rain that started to fall harder since she got inside.

“I went through the front entrance,” she said nonchalantly. “Why?”

A surprised look was scrawled on his face. “The front entrance wasn’t under construction?”

She shook her head to his question.

“Why did Petey tell me that it was?”

A laugh bubbled out from her throat, causing her to hunch over as he sat down across from her. “Petey—he—let me in and use the elevator and pass to get in the lounge with no hesitation,”

While she found the situation hilarious, he on the other hand, was embarrassed, face flushed red.

“You owe me lunch next, that was foul play.” He opened his bag and started eating his burrito bowl, sitting comfortably on the couch.

Her lunch was already in her hands, the warmth radiating from it nicely as she got cozy. “Nope.”

They both ate quietly in the lounge, the sound of the rain tapping on the windows gently as Vancouver became a grayish gloom, completely different from the warm, comforting glow of the lounge lights.

It felt eerily domestic, the quiet peace, the shared, comforting silence, too strange to even consider it something just in the workplace between Nils and her. It felt like something that she could get lost into so easily, something along the lines of a classic fairytale romance.

“What’cha staring at?”

His voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and a rose-tinted blush was dusted over her face as she averted her glance.

“Nothing, just lost in thought,” she shrugged, hoping to play it off.

Her food was nearly finished, only small bits and scraps left which she prodded with her fork as she was deciding on whether or not she should throw it away or take it home.

The phone in her pocket buzzed, causing her to get up and throw the food away before excusing herself, walking into the hall to pick up the call.

“Hello?”

The familiar voice of her friend could be heard through the phone. “Hey, where are you? I thought you would be in the office by now.”

“Oh, sorry. I got caught up with something. Do you need me there now?”

“More like caught up with someone,”

Even through the phone, she could tell that her friend was giving her a knowing look accompanied with a wink.

“But anyways, I don’t need you ASAP but just enjoy your lunch with that special someone. Get back to me when you can.”

She let out a sigh, having already been outside the lounge. “Will do, love you lots.”

Her friend reciprocated the departure as she hung up, sliding the phone back into her pocket as she made her way to her office.

Nils left the lounge shortly after she hung up the phone, but he heard the last part of her call, which set him on edge. He didn’t know much about her personal life, and he wasn’t even sure if he was overstepping some personal boundaries of hers.

As the days passed, tensions rose in the arena as the Canucks went against the Oilers. Everyone felt restless, unease, not being able to properly get comfortable. Even after each win, it still felt like it wasn’t enough.

She stared at her laptop screen, sifting through the goals scored and other notable statistics of each game, somehow searching for a way to win with full certainty. Her fingers tapped against the desk nervously, and it felt like every poster and memorabilia on the wall was a relic to pray to.

The sound of childish bickering could be heard outside of her office, and she leaned back to try and get a glance at who it was. “Come in? The door is open I think—”

Her door swung open, and there stood a flustered Nils and a giggly Quinn attempting to push him into the room, whispering some sort of encouragement.

“Is everything alright?” She turned her chair to face the door, slowly getting up.

His playoff beard was starting to grow more, giving him a more masculine look that made her slightly weak, but he still kept a soft gentleness that she always liked from him.

“If I score tonight, will you get dinner with me?” Nils’s voice was quiet and nervous, but Quinn still stood in the doorway, waiting for a response from her.

She gave him a smirk, and she felt a wave of boldness overcome her. “I know you’ll score anyways, but we have a deal,”

He smiled with a blush and waved her goodbye as he ushered Quinn and him out of her office.

Time didn’t seem to pass quick enough, and she found herself pacing back and forth from her office to the rink. She had already prepared her report, all the information and stats needed for the pre-game announcements.

Taking in a deep breath, she tried to remind herself that the game would go well, but the pre-game jitters still ran rampant inside of her.

At the end of the hall, she could see her friend waving her over, holding something in her hands. As she walked closer, she could see that it was two Canucks jerseys, unnumbered and unnamed.

“I didn’t know which one you’d want—well I did know, but I didn’t want any rumors to spread for professionalism’s sake—so I got you a jersey for the game tonight.” She smiled.

It made sense, but she didn’t know why she was allowed to wear a jersey tonight. “Management let you?” she said, confused.

“Yeah, odd, but I don’t mind it.” She placed the jersey in her hands, the athletic material brushing against her palms. “Hoping we snag a win tonight,”

She let out a sigh, anxious but hopeful. “Me too,”

A few minutes before puck drop, she stood near the glass beside the rink, the blue and green lights of the arena giving the place an eerie glow.

Her jersey was on, Canucks emblem proudly displayed on the front as she got ready to give the pre-game report.

“Welcome everyone to Rogers Arena where the Canucks are facing off tonight against the Edmonton Oilers, hoping to get a win in this series. Tonight, the focus and spotlight is shifted onto our players to watch, having performed greatly these past few games,”

The camera was then panned to the players practicing on the ice as she moved to the bench, standing behind the players beside the coaches and athletic crew.

And as the game started, the arena was tense. The sounds of the stick smacking on the ice could be heard, cheering, chanting, and puck calling all too familiar. The building was loud and the fans were riled up, hoping to not be let down.

Minutes passed by, and the puck was being moved up and down the ice, and just as it made it into the offensive zone for the Canucks, leading to a goal for Elias Petterson.

Fans cheered and shouted as the goal horn went off, banners flying and waving through the air as the players celebrated the first goal of the game.

She cheered from the bench as well, celebrating with her colleagues and friends, full of adrenaline and joy. Even though Nils hadn’t scored yet, she was still hopeful that he would, having seen a couple of close calls that bounced off of the post or barely stopped by the goalie.

As the first period came to an end, the players filed off into the locker room as the media crew and her gave a quick first intermission report.

She could feel her heart beating in her chest, the oh so familiar feeling of being high with the rush of energy, the way it felt so unreal despite experiencing it over and over again.

Before she knew it, the second period was starting, players in their position in the neutral zone waiting for the puck to hit the ice. Her eyes watched every player carefully, observing each number and and keeping note of who is where and when at every second.

When she saw Nils get onto the ice, time felt like it was solid as she held her breath.

He weaved through the other players, gaining possession of the puck before passing it back to Quinn.

As the goalie thought Quinn was going to shoot, he passed it back to Nils, who scored a wrist shot that went over the goalie and into the goal.

The horn went off as the fans started to cheer wildly, the players celebrating on the ice again with picturesque smiles and hugs while she was on the bench, face dusted with a blush as she tried her hardest to play it off as over-exerted cheering.

She could see the smirk on his face, knowing that the deal was already set, and she could also see how Quinn was pointing at Nils, most likely teasing him about the bet.

The game went on, slower than what she wanted, but by the end of it all, it was a two-nothing victory for the Canucks, leading to a happy team, and more specifically, a happy Nils. The locker room was amped, music blaring as she walked by, the sound of grown men trying their best to sing along, and a smile scrawled on her face.

She had already done the post-game report, albeit, a very rushed one with a flustered look on her face, but she tried her hardest to remain as professional as possible. Her bag was packed and all ready to head home, files and papers in folders, laptop in its case, and every muscle in her body felt ready to collapse.

The rain was rampant outside, splashing in puddles outside on the concrete, and she knew she had to either be quick, or deal with a soaked jersey, and the last option did not sound too pleasant.

Staring into the now empty parking lot, she allowed herself to take a few deep breaths in, feeling the cool air fill her lungs, and breathing out, with her muscles relaxing.

She could hear footsteps behind her, but like a second instinct, she knew exactly who it was.

“Nils,” she said quietly.

He paused before taking another step towards her, the air now seemingly filled with a static. “You’re going to catch a cold,”

“You as well.”

A small chuckle escaped his lips, followed by a sigh. “Let’s get to your car first, then we’ll talk,”

She led the way to her car, hair becoming more messy and soaked from the rain. When she looked back, she saw Nils following behind her, but he looked even more tempting with his unkempt hair.

Placing her bag in the car, she turned back to Nils, seeing him stand there waiting for her.

He looked at her, observing every detail of her with no shame. “That jersey looks beautiful on you, ya’know?”

“Oh, stop it, Nils,” she blushed. “When and where is the dinner I was promised?”

Pulling out his phone, he asked for her number, to which she gave him it. She had trust that he would actually follow through with his promise, and so she didn’t ask for him to check it again.

“I mean it, you look gorgeous and always have. Even right now.”

She looked up at him, admiring his features silently for a few while her fingers ghosted over the lapel of his suit.

“May I?” He asked, hand hovering over the small of her back.

As soon as she nodded, he pulled her into a tender kiss, lips pressed against hers. It felt like everything from the past few weeks all started to become worth it, the waiting, the stares and glances. All of it.

The rain continued to fall between them, cold against the warmth of their bodies, and she didn’t want to pull away any time soon.

Her eyes remained shut, but she knew he looked so handsome with his lips pressed to hers. His scruff was scratching against her face, but she knew that she wouldn’t ever mind it at all.

Butterflies were loose inside of her, fluttering wildly as if she waited for this moment for far too long.

His touch, his fingers against her chin was full of sparks, and his other hand on her back seemed to be the only thing grounding her to reality, reminding her that this moment was real, and forever in her memories.

When they both finally pulled away, breathing heavily, their lips were swollen and tender, smiles painted on their faces.

He had a sort of angelic glow to him, ethereally irresistible, and she pulled him in for a quick peck once more.

“Can’t get enough of me already?” He chuckled.

She shook her head as she opened her car door, sitting inside as she gave him a gentle smile. “Could never get enough of you.”

He took her hand in his palm, giving it a gentle kiss before he waved goodbye to her again. “Please, get home safe,”

“Will do, Nils. I’ll see you tomorrow,”

As she drove off with a dopey smile, she could still feel the warmth of him and each touch of his vividly, and she knew the glow of the lights in Vancouver would never be the same again.

#nhl #hockey #nhl hockey #nhl writing #nhl fic #hockey fic #hockey imagine #vancouver canucks fluff #vancouver canucks #nils hoglander fluff #nils hoglander #nils hoglander x reader #nils hoglander imagine #nils hoglander fic #nils höglander #nils höglander x reader

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piareia · 2 days

Text

The Fire Tides Chapter 4: Meetings to an Opening

Hi guys! First of all, I am so so so sorry for the huge delay in releasing these chapters. I got very caught up with uni but now that I have some free time on my hands, I figured I would try my best to complete this project. Whether you're over Httyd or you still adore it, I'll still try to complete the fanfic for The Fire Tides as I promised! Hope you guys enjoy Chapter 4, where we resume off of Hiccup's response to his idea being rejected by Eret's father and the other chiefs. This chapter will start off with Fishlegs and Heather's reunion after the last time they saw each other at the Edge, I tried my best to make it somewhat close to how the characters would react if they were to meet after the events of Httyd 2! Hope you enjoy it and sorry again! :)

With the others challenging Eret at the bar, Fishlegs and Heather stared at each other blankly.

“So, how’s life at Berserker Island with your Berserker brother?” Fishlegs gave an awkward smile.

“Erm, it’s certainly berserk!” Heather laughed nervously, “I mean he’s still the same old Dagur you saw over at Dragon’s edge before we departed.”

“I can imagine!” Fishlegs chucked, “But, there does seem to be some change in you, Heather.”

She glanced at him wide-eyed, “Oh, erm I-”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way! I just meant that-” He looked at her intensely, “You seem more at peace now.”

“And that makes me happier than I could ever say,” Fishlegs smiled, looking down.

“All the struggles you’ve been through, the loneliness you felt. It just seems like it’s all gone from your eyes.”

Heather’s eyes started to well up, “It has.”

“Fishlegs, these years have been the happiest of my life. I’ve seen and learned so much, being with my brother, seeing the people, our people, rejoice in the streets brings me such joy. I see exactly what I feel! I don’t feel alone anymore!” Heather cried in joy.

He placed a hand over her shoulder in ecstasy after hearing her confirm his suspicions, “Oh Heather! I’m so happy for you!”

Both of their eyes were tearing up, slowly and joyfully. However, Heather glanced at her shoulder and realised she had to tell him what she intended to say.

“Fishlegs, there is something I do need to tell you,” Heather shifted uneasily, “The thing is, well, I’m betrothed to someone over at Berserker Island.”

“Oh.”

Heather kept her eyes on the floor, “I know we had something. It was special, at the time. And it was one of the things that actually made me feel less lonely during those tiresome days. But I think with time, things change, situations change, we change and-”

“Heather, I-” Fishlegs chucked quietly, “You’re probably going to think I’m crazy, but I’m kinda into Ruffnut?”

Heather and Fishlegs stared at each other in amazement for a minute or two. Then, they both burst into laughter.

“This entire time, I was so worried to tell you!” They both spoke, chortling in joy.

“I thought you’d think I’m a nutcase for falling in love with Ruff!” Fishlegs cried.

“What! No way! I’m so happy for you both!” Heather yelled eagerly, “I thought you’d judge me for falling in love with a Berserker!”

“Oh, c’mon! You have a cool Berserker brother; we need a cool Berserker husband to that list too!”

They both giggled in amazement, chatting on and on about their new lives. How much they adore their prospective partners. How much they care about them. And, slowly, yet gradually, all of their past worries melted away with time, stirring them up and transcending them into a space that could no longer be reached.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sis-ster, I thank we need soume- ,” Tuffnut dropped to the floor with his mug in hand, “I be-eated that Erut!”

Fishlegs and Heather both glanced at Tuff in concern. Astrid arrived with Eret looking very pleased with himself indeed.

“Ah, how much did Tuff exactly drink?” Heather asked.

“You don’t wanna know,” Astrid glared at him.

“Err-et! He c-can’t stend a chance ag-ainst Snothat!” Snotlout fell to the floor as well.

“I did warn them. My tolerance against mead is quite high,” Eret nudged Snotlout’s drooling face with his foot, “He should be fine…maybe in a day or two.”

“Eret, is this really the time to be drinking? I expected you to be present at the Chief’s table.”

Eret looked over to the familiar voice, “Ah! Father!”

“Your Berkian Chief was there, why weren’t you?”

“Well, I’m not a Chief yet, Father, ” Eret scratched his neck in discomfort.

“Well, you will be. Sooner or later, you’ll have to take over the reigns of our tribe. I wonder if you take that duty seriously or not,” Eret’s father looked at him sternly.

“Father, we’ve spoken about this countless times. It just isn’t in me to-”

“Erm, I’m so sorry to interrupt both of you,” Astrid looked back and forth, “But, where exactly is the Berkian chief?”

Eret’s father turned to her, “It seemed that your chief didn’t see eye-to-eye with all the other chiefs. I did try my best to explain to him why his proposition would be denied, but he would not take no for an answer.”

Astrid sighed, “Well, that’s Hiccup for you.”

“He’s headed outside, probably wanted some air to cool off,” Eret’s father smiled at her, “Might be a good idea for you to help him cool off too?”

Astrid nodded with no hesitations, instantly gesturing for Stormfly to follow her to the exit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night air was chilly, sporadically blasting cold drafts at the irritated chief. Hiccup slumped against Toothless, glaring at the black canopy above him. There were many stars embellished onto it, perceivable yet inaccessible, just like the many dragons he wished to reach out to. He desired for those dumbed-down Vikings to at least see a glimpse of the beauty he envisioned, the unlimited opportunities this dream could create, the great change that it would lead to. This was the goal from the very beginning. A human and dragon utopia.

Hiccup scratched Toothless in annoyance, “I know bud, they’re honestly a bunch of muttonheads.”

Toothless warbled a laugh.

“Hey, I’m just being honest!” Hiccup turned his head knowingly, “Some of them look like they have yak beards.”

“Yak beards? Hmm, you do seem to have a point there…”

Startled, Hiccup turned around to see Astrid getting off of Stormfly.

He raised an eyebrow, “Huh, I guess you weren’t joking when you said you can track me down.”

“Yup! Anywhere in the Archipelago, Astrid Hofferson will always be able to hunt a ‘Hiccup Haddock’ down,” Astrid rested her head on Hiccup’s shoulder.

“Hunt? I bet you can’t get to me before those yak-bearded chiefs.”

“Ah, it’s debatable,” She shifted closer to him, “But, why would the yak-bearded chiefs wish to hunt you down? I always assumed Hiccup Haddock was a fish, but perhaps he’s a yak.”

Hiccup gave a shocked look at her clever remark, “Haha, very funny. Maybe I should’ve used Tuff’s yak to get them to accept my proposal.”

“Hmm, perhaps. Bribery at its finest,” Astrid rubbed his hand, urging him to say what’s on his mind.

“Astrid, they just don’t see what I see,” Hiccup sighed.

“I know.”

“I wish they could just understand that humans and dragons living in harmony would change this world completely.”

“That is true,” Astrid played with his hair, “It would be quite a huge change. All humans. All dragons. Together.”

“It would be incredible, wouldn’t it?” Hiccup brought her in closer, pointing at the stars above, “Just imagine this night sky, and all you see are humans on the backs of dragons. You see them just speeding right past, laughing in utter joy, in utter freedom. It would feel so, so liberating for all of us.”

“Now that would be really beautiful,” Astrid then thought for a moment, “But, if there’s too many of us in the sky, I wouldn’t be able to see the stars. All I’d see are the dragons whizzing by. I would probably get knocked off by the amount of dragon traffic.”

“The sky is quite a huge expanse though,” Hiccup said quickly.

“That is true. But so are humans and dragons. We’re constantly popping into this world by the will of Thor.”

Hiccup thought for a second, “Hmm.”

“Are you saying he was right about his whole point on overpopulation? Eret’s father?”

“No. I’m not saying you’re right either. I’m just explaining why those yak bearded Vikings can’t see what you can see.”

Hiccup raised an eyebrow.

“It’s because you can’t see what they can see either.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re Hiccup, you always look at the positives. These guys are obviously dead set on the negatives. Neither of you can see eye-to-eye because of how differently you see the world. I guess, it’s important to see both sides at times. Especially when making such huge decisions such as this.”

Hiccup blinked in sheer amazement. She really did know how to sum the situation up, huh?

“And what if the negatives outweigh the positives?” He then looked down defeatedly, thinking back to his failed debate with Eret’s father, “What happens then?”

Astrid lifted his chin up, “Then you find more positives.”

His eyes widened. This was what he was trying to do all along.

“And if you can’t find them,” Astrid slowly smiled at the stars, “Then you create them yourself.”

That was it. He understood now. Even if those chiefs couldn’t come to terms with his proposal, it didn’t mean he would quit so easily. This was his dream and if he wanted to see it come to life, it was down to him to do so. Whether it took years upon years, he would keep trying to reach that dream regardless of the obstacles in his way.

Hiccup then smiled knowingly at Astrid whilst she was gazing at the stars. Instantly, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss. The starlight shone upon the two, their silhouettes merging into one other as the glow hovered around them in sheer radiance.

“How do you always know what to say during my moments of despair?” He smiled at her with renewed motivation.

Astrid laughed, “Hey, I’ve had a lot of practice. Hiccup’s moments of despair aren’t that new to me anymore.”

“Well! Now that you’ve gotten me out of my slump, I guess it’s about time we headed back to the Foreverwing,” Hiccup grabbed her hand with restored determination, “Let’s gather the riders, we leave for Berk in an hour!”

Hope you guys enjoyed this! So with the help of Astrid, Hiccup is back to being determined in building his ideal world for humans and dragons, regardless of what Eret's father has said to him. Next chapter will be the start of the main plot for the Fire Tides!

@sorushing @thisghostishere @tabbyakadragon @limesandcoconuts @rosiethedragongeek

#httyd #httyd fanfiction #the fire tides #hiccup haddock #httyd hiccup #writing #astrid hofferson #httyd astrid #fishlegs httyd #heather the beserker #hiccstrid

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shirohige-pirates · 2 days

Text

Just Like Fire

CisFem Reader x Portgas D. Ace

CW: angst, language, erotic, violence, serial killer, stalking, poisoning, over-bearing controlling parents, attempted forced marriage, possible dub-con, Munchausen by proxy (aka Factitious Disorder), wildly cute and fluffy despite the warnings. 18+ only

Summary: You're Sabo's biological sister in this AU. After college you moved in with your dear brother and his two sworn brothers in order to avoid going back home. You and Sabo despise your family equally.

Tags: @fiestynatureweeb @nalleanna @airwolf92 @art3misa635 @sleepisfortheweakpooh @ghostfacefricker6969 @harahettania @mfreedomstuff

Chapter 23: First, Finally.

You and Ace had gotten back home with enough time to clean up, and grab another nap. You’d blame Ace, but with a lot going on, and a lot more to do, the extra rest was the best thing you could do with the time you had. Ace just made it easier to nap because he was so warm.

Once it drew closer to the time you needed to meet with Ichiji, you got ready properly. Sabo was going to come along as well, not just to support you, but also to keep Ace in check if things went south. Sabo’s car was also a little more inconspicuous than Ace’s older orange truck.

“I haven’t been disowned, or disavowed.” Sabo says as he’s driving you to the café where you’re going to meet with Ichiji. “If anything goes sideways, leave it to me to resolve it.” He says, his eyes on the rear view mirror for a moment until Ace grunts. “I’m serious, Ace.”

“I know!” He barks, arms folded across his chest. “I’m just here for moral support.”

“Even though you’d rather light him on fire.” Sabo teases.

“He’d survive.” Ace grumbles.

“You can’t harm a royal, Ace.” Sabo nearly growls.

“I most certainly can,” Ace emphasizes. “But I won’t, not unless it comes down to him or us.”

“It won’t.” Sabo asserts, but you see his hands tighten on the steering wheel.

“It won’t.” You agree. “Sanji said something earlier this morning that has me thinking Ichiji never meant to agree to this in the first place.”

“Oh?” Sabo prompts.

“In two months him and his family are going to be leaving this island.”

“Yeah, Germa as a kingdom is mobile, they don’t-.”

“They travel a lot.” You point out, cutting off Sabo a little. “And Ichiji was aware of my illness, to my knowledge, from the beginning.” Understanding dawns on Sabo’s face.

“I’m not picking up what you two are on about.”

“Travel’s rough, especially on someone with a chronic illness.” You explain, looking back at Ace. “Ichiji wasn’t going to stop traveling because of me, he couldn’t. His entire kingdom is built around traveling. I’m the worst match possible. Even if some miracle drug made me less weak I’d still be a liability.”

“What do they get by agreeing to everything then?” Ace questions.

“They might have been planning to levy accusations against Mom and Dad from the beginning.” You admit with a shrug. “Ichiji could end up being happy to hear what I’m going to tell him today.”

“They could also be using it as bargaining leverage with another family.” Sabo explains. “Getting a better dowry or contract with someone else by leveraging my sister and our family. They could’ve just been bored and not inclined to decline the request from my father, too.”

“… That’s - all of that is messed up.” Ace says after a moment and you and Sabo can’t helped the clipped, jaded laughs that escape you.

You take a deep breath and try to relax as you get closer to the destination. It was a small café, in the downtown area, and because it was Sunday almost no one else was around. When you approached with both Sabo and Ace behind you, Ichiji stood up from the table he’d been waiting at, and came over to meet all of you.

“You come with ill-tidings, it seems.” He says evenly. With the shades on it’s hard to say who he’s looking at, but you’re certain he’s got his eyes on everyone. His expression and body language match his words, he’s not surprised, but he also doesn’t appear to be upset either. “Something with more weight to it than a simple cancellation.”

You nod. “We can sit, if you prefer, Prince Ichiji, but I intend to get to the point quickly.”

He’s quiet for a second, and doesn’t move. “By all means.” He prompts.

“My parents, I assume through no conscious malicious intent on their part, have incorrectly informed you of my situation.” You say, keeping your eyes steady. “The new medication has revealed I am not chronically ill at all. I am, instead -

“-cursed.” You and Ichiji say the word at the same time. It takes every ounce of control you have not to flinch. The cold surety in his voice made your stomach knot.

The smile that pulls at the corner of his mouth seems more amused than anything else. “There was only one thing that you could say that would be so definitive.”

You feel yourself relax slightly. “I suppose that’s true.” You admit, but there’s something that sits uncomfortably inside you. His logic is sound, but he was so certain. You could’ve said that you were dying, or adopted, or any number of things that would have been just as effective as being cursed.

“All I need now is proof.” He says and your brows knit a little. You can hear Marco in the back of your head being adamant about only changing when completely out of sight. Like in the basement, or out in the middle of the field where you and Ace had been.

“One’s curse is very personal.” Sabo says, voice barely neutral. You’re certain he’s concerned about the same secrecy as you.

Ichiji inclines his head. “Certainly, but you understand that I wouldn’t want to be ill-informed on something so important.”

You looked around. The street was empty, no one was paying the four of you any mind, and a few glances in the immediate vicinity didn’t give you any signs of cameras nearby. You shift your weight and look into the café, and at most, you see a camera pointed toward the door, and one toward the register. Your body blocked the line of sight from inside, and you could use Sabo and Ichiji for the rest.

“It’s not an official inquisition.” Sabo insists, but you put your hand up.

“No, it’s okay. He has a valid point. No one’s going to want the fact of my curse to be official public knowledge. There’s no way for him to know without proof.” You agree, keeping your eyes on Ichiji as you concentrate on changing only your arm. Ace and Sabo move at the same time, and provide more cover with their hats.

You wiggled the white feathers before reverting back to your arm.

“Zoan.” Ichiji says, and there’s a disgust in his voice you’re relieved to hear.

“I am a shame to the honor of nobility.” You say flatly. “I’m new to the news myself, and have not yet informed my family. You owe me nothing, but I would appreciate time enough for me to do so properly.”

A faint show of emotion slips over Ichiji’s face. Something torn between anger and disgust, held back and tempered by who knew what. You were almost expecting him to lash out and physically beat you in front of the café.

Instead, after the longest moment you think you’ve ever experienced thus far in your life finally passes, he relaxes, and reaches into his pocket. Pulling out a small drive he hands it over to Sabo, and it’s obvious from the tilt of his head, he’s pointedly ignoring you and Ace.

Well, he was likely not acknowledging Ace at all from the beginning.

“She’s right. I owe you nothing, but your parents have left a foul taste in my mouth long before now. When you deliver your news to them, you should include that as well.” He suggests, turning and walking away without so much as a farewell afterward.

You and Ace look to one another before looking to Sabo. Your brother shrugs, looking at the drive in his hands. You already had enough evidence against your parents to see yourself absolved of them, even without needing to officially admit to your curse. Even if you were okay with officially stating your curse, the simple truth was that the government was more likely to bury any record of it anyway.

Hopefully without burying you as well.

“What do you think it is?” You question finally, as the three of you head back to Sabo’s car.

“A virus.” He shrugs. “We’ll have to dig up an older computer and make sure it can’t connect to anything else.”

“Do you think he bothered to dig up dirt on your parents?” Ace questions, and you shrug.

“He’s smart, and I wasn’t exactly proper about my emotions, concerning the change in medication.” You buckle in as you tuck the small drive away. “I can’t imagine a royal deciding to dig into our family after already entering into an agreement with them. They would’ve done digging before hand to sate any concerns or curiosities.” You shake your head. “Ichiji is entirely too pragmatic. The idea that he was either concerned or curious about my well-being at all seems inane.”

“The idea that he was truly upset at the fact of our mother poisoning you does sound absurd.” Sabo agrees, even as he sighs heavily. “But, if like you said, the plan was for them to leverage things falling apart, then it would make more sense. The more he could prove about the situation, the more leverage he would have.”

“True, but as a royal, compared to our family, how much proof would he really need?” You retort. “If he truly wished, he could’ve levied any accusation with nothing but his family’s seal to back it up.”

Silence falls over the three of you for a while, stomachs collectively knotting over the possibilities. Sabo was trying not to rush the return home, but concern and curiosity were giving him a bit of a lead foot.

“What if…” Ace pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What if it’s related to the fire?”

“That,” you start to say that would be impossible, but your throat goes dry before you can really say anything. The fire had been shrouded in its own kind of mystery. There was nothing that explained why the building had caught on fire in the first place. The official statement was an indeterminable electrical failure, but almost the entire building had already been evacuated because most people had contracted food poisoning.

Sabo had been firm about not leaving you unattended afterward, but with everything else you had almost completely forgotten about the concern.

Whatever was on the drive, you hoped it had nothing to do with the fire. The idea that someone was willing to effectively demolish an entire office building, and risk the lives of the people in it, just to get to you, was terrifying.

#just like fire #portgas d ace #x reader #portgas d ace x reader #reader insert

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