#I’m gonna have to write this myself aren’t I? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luveline · 10 hours

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I'm sorry to send you such a loaded question, but as a young adult, how do you stay motivated and... I don't know, do the things you have to do? Ever since I left high school, I've felt that it's hard to commit to anything, especially the things I have to commit to in order to have a future, because everything seems so monotonous and uninteresting and stressful to me; because I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything, of being competent.

Anyways, I love your blog. Your writings are one of the few things that make me happy on the worst days xx

that’s okay! I’m gonna try and answer you clearly !! cw for suicide mention

So first I want to say that I’m really sorry you feel this way! It’s quite a heart ache to feel uninspired or uninterested, or worse to feel like you’re not capable of doing things everyone else is doing. You deserve to wake up and feel happy and confident in yourself and your abilities! And I want to say I’m sorry in advance if this is not quite the answer you’re asking me for!

so, when I was around 18/19 (and well beyond those years, but this was when I was very done and defeated and, you know, crying myself sick every night if I wasn’t just laying in bed) I was in university, but I didn’t finish the year at campus, and I had to go home. I’m not sure if this is something I should be saying because it’s so personal but I just want to sort of be honest with you cos I don’t want you to think you’re alone in that feeling. But anyways I had to go home, I was really lonely and I just felt like I couldn’t do what everyone else was doing, like there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with the kitchen, I couldn’t use the bathroom there, I didn’t know how to turn the heating on, couldn’t talk to people, couldn’t navigate the bus by myself, and I felt so pathetically stupid, I had such low self esteem for myself that I felt like I should kill myself just because I was so useless —I didn’t WANT to understand these things. I just didn’t want to do anything. And the reason I’m mentioning it is because while I don’t think it’s okay to assume these things of you, I want to emphasise that there can be a common link between feeling like you aren’t capable and a mental health issue! Of course, you can feel quite useless without that though, so not telling you that that’s definitely what you have going on but more wanting to say that if you think it might be useful, you can have a look at mental health issues and perhaps see if you’re relating to them. But beyond that, hopefully on the way to answering your question, is how I managed to feel more capable and how I now find motivation to do things I have to do.

I sort of had to do a reset, or a sabbatical! I’ve always been an upset person unfortunately, and I had a long few months where I didn’t do anything at all. I’m really, really fortunate that my mother let me stay at home while this was happening however reluctant she was, I can’t imagine really what I would’ve done or what could’ve happened to me if she didn’t let me stay there. I always thought about how she could’ve just turned me out and she probably wanted to, because for months I stayed in bed. I didn’t talk to anybody, deleted all my social media, and I stewed in how much I hated myself for not being any good at anything. I felt soooo stupid and so alone, and I probably cried myself to sleep every night wondering about my life and if I’d ever have the motivation to go on. There are still times now where I am intensely upset and unsure about things and what I’m capable of, but the difference between then and now, and the reason for my motivation I think, was that I was able to foster a need for something? I’m really so sorry if this sounds like total total nonsense, but I needed something. I wanted so badly for someone to “save me” from my not being able to do things, I spent a lot of time thinking about that. Like, how I could be saved. And then I strung out the middle man without realising I was doing it! It is very hard to go from having no motivation and no sense of self ability to then being confident, but I do think you can do it! I needed someone to get me a job and I ended up doing it myself, I needed someone to be gentle with me when I was sad so I started speaking to myself with a more kind inner voice and seeing myself as someone who didn’t need to be perfect to be good.

There was lots of bits of advice I tried to take on. Not all of it is kind to myself, some of it is though!! Like, for example, there’s a sort of parody of it now that says “I think you’re thinking about yourself too much” but one of the ways I stopped hating myself and instead started to believe I could do things and achieve was by thinking about the level of self obsession I was feeling to constantly think of myself. And I promise I’m not trying to say something hurtful to you, I absolutely don’t believe you’re self obsessed, but you’re also not incapable!! In a slightly more annoying take on your feelings, why can’t you do it if everyone else can? You absolutely can! I personally believe sweetheart that you can do everything I can, but you need more support, or you need to be fostered with some love. You are not incapable, you are not incompetent, you are a smart, kind, and important person. There is nobody else like you on the entire planet and I’m better for it that you’re here.

I apologise profusely if I’m projecting too much on you, I’m not trying to say you must feel exactly as I did years ago, but I think your ask really is important and I really want to give you an answer to your question because I know I felt exactly the same at some point. Working toward a future self I didn’t even like or believe in was boring. Nothing in me wanted to work hard or study or continue because I didn’t look forward to achievement.

sorry this is all so long! Hopefully this last bit is the actual advice you might be able to use. Beyond that wisdom about trying not to dedicate too much time to thinking of myself, there are lots of “rules” I tend to live by, in order to just keep going forward. For starters, you deserve to have fun. You deserve good food, nice clothes (not showy though you deserve those too, but nice sturdy clothing), a warm safe house, and you need to work for it! We defo deserve to work less for things but I keep going and trying to better myself because I know I need to do this in order to be comfortable. This will sound out of left field, because the focus of the book is not strictly motivation, but there’s a graphic novel called my lesbian experience with loneliness by Nagata Kabi that has stuck with me because she has this same sort of view as to feeling like she’s stuck in monotony, and there’s one bit in particular where she talks about doing things for yourself you might not do, I.e making sure you have underwear and socks that are clean and whole. I grew up poor and I’m not super rich now either, but since I read that, one of my priorities is having whole and clean underwear, and that did help me find the motivation to work or to study. We need to function in a way to maintain good standards for ourselves, and even if you have boxes of clean socks, there might be something in your life you can think about working toward! I throw away underwear or any clothes that don’t fit me right, and I don’t feel guilty about it when I would’ve before because I know that feeling well dressed is good for your heart. Does that make sense? To give yourself a good standard of life, you have to keep going. As well as that, another way I stay motivated to go on which I’ve talked about before maybe (not that I expect you to have read this) is my writing. I’m motivated sometimes to do things I have to if only because I need free time to think deeply about the things I want to think about. Also I love writing more than pretty much anything, even if most writers will look at what I’m doing and laugh or wonder why I’d dedicate so much time to some things in particular, because I love it. If I can make sure my rent is paid every month, that’s a promise I have a room to sit in every night where I can write whatever story I want! Another motivation is my ability to give bits of myself? It sounds ridiculous because I don’t genuinely believe I’m giving myself to people but to try and be a positive part of someone life is a good place to start if you feel purposeless. My relationships with my sisters are a tether for me and I’ve tried so hard and so much to make these relationships count, as well as with long distance friends, and recently ish I got back into contact with friends I couldn’t maintain relationships with when I was feeling down, and now my life feels very changed. I don’t live solely for myself, (though it’s okay if you do, because its hard and sometimes a lot of pressure to live for and around others) so that gives my life more purpose, and gives me more reason to do things I have to do. I also desperately enjoy this blog !!

I’m genuinely so sorry if this is all useless. I’ve been typing this answer since like 1:05 and it’s much later now, but it’s because it’s hard to describe to you the things that give motivation, because I know deep down how impossible it feels when you have none. I don’t expect you to read this and think aw jade you’ve solved it I’m fine now actually, I just hope that one thing in here can lend you an idea as to what to do next. If you’re struggling to go on, there are lots of options available to you in the UK such as the SHOUT text line for stress, depression, and eating disorders. They’re free to text and anonymous! I don’t think there’s one answer to giving yourself purpose, it is a very hard life and I don’t blame you for feeling incapable or bored or worried or anything you’re feeling, but I do for sure know you can do this, because I can do it, if that makes sense. Like I bet we’re extremely different people on account of uniqueness but also bet we have so many similarities!! And I certainly don’t mind guessing that you’re a loving, caring, person who deserves to feel more fulfilled. It’s my recommendation that you try to understand why you’re not feeling your best right now, that you talk to someone if you can, that you have some faith in yourself, and that you treat yourself with the same love and patience as you would any other person experiencing burnout! again I’m so so sorry if this is all rubbish. I’m forcing myself to stop now. So sorry if it doesn’t make sense or if half of this is completely unrelated to what you’re asking. I love you and I hope you feel better, genuinely truly ❤️❤️❤️❤️

#jade's asks #ily

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nocasdatsgay · 2 months

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I really want the hidden romance of Eris Vanserra.

I want his mate to walk the same halls, be in the same rooms, arms length with zero interaction to the naked eye. I want stolen moments: light touches, casual brush of fabric from their clothes as they pass by each other.

I want him to pull his mate into a dark corner at a party. Kiss them so hard they both see stars before they slip back out again. I want late night walks with a guard who’s a friend keeping his secret.

I want their first time together to be filled with tears and hushed promises. Promises this won’t be the only time. Promises that they’ll be together without the worry. I want him memorizing every inch of their skin. I want him fighting with himself about leaving when it’s over.

I want him making deals left and right to keep them safe. I want him killing those who find out and dare to blackmail him. Or him blackmailing them back.

I want them to be the first one he goes to when his father is dead and he’s high lord. Eris doesn’t care that a crowd is around. He doesn’t care that he’s covered in blood. All he cares about is right in front of him and he can finally kiss them wherever he likes.

#ERIS ERIS ERIS #the hidden romance of Eris Vanserra #fuck another WIP to deal with #I’m gonna have to write this myself aren’t I?#eris vanserra #acotar #eris acotar #pro eris vanserra #eris vandaddy #he’s so angsty I can’t help it

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howdaretrashships · 6 months

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I need a fic of Di Feisheng finding his Yinzhu Armor in Lotus Tower and confronting Li Lianhua. Li Lianhua tries to play it off like "Actually the tower is built from the remains of that ship ten years ago. The armor was among the wreckage, so I kept it on a whim. It's an excellent pot holder." But Di Feisheng isn’t convinced and says “I don’t remember having this armor on the ship. In fact, the last time I saw it was when we signed that peace treaty…”

#mysterious lotus casebook #feihua #di feisheng #li lianhua #goddamn it #I’m gonna have to write it myself aren’t I?#I’m on my 3rd watch through #I don’t need more fic ideas

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i-eat-worlds · 5 months

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trying to find medical hurt/comfort fics:

malpractice

he should know better

HIPPA violation

oh this is good (is 85% porn)

that’s not his job

malpractice

#worlds babbles #I’m gonna have to write something now aren’t i #sighs #i cursed myself with knowledge #this is really my fault

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ratmonky · 7 months

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it’s so cute that your partner comments on your fics and you flirt and just say things full of love to each other on your posts and in your tags! that’s the dream as a creative and i hope one day i can find what you two have 😭

my partner is a grown ass 30 year old man so he doesn’t have tumblr T-T the most loving thing he said to me about my fics was “you’re too pretty to write these nasty stuff”

but they do read my shit sometimes and just call me out for making characters “evil”

right now i’m ruining nanami for them and they’re not happy

like they never even watched anime before until i showed them some of the good stuff 😼 tho they watched jojo like almost all by themselves lmao their fave part is part 2 and 3, joseph and jotaro dickrider all the way atm

and i think you thought @passionatum is my partner lol i mean they definitely are my partner in crime hehe i keep my friends so close i might cannibalize them at some point

#another day another time someone thought rae and i are dating #also idk if you guys have been following me for long but i have a post where i said i think that i’m a lesbian but my god #this man is on another level #never thought id meet a man who is as lana del rey coded before #we gonna watch jjk tonite and they aren’t ready for the return of the one who left it all behind hehe #i think the first time i told them about my writings they wanted to read them and i sent them one vanilla and one hardcore shit #they liked both so you know the rest #rn i want them to read curse of innocence because i showed them all the fanarts and tiktoks i’ve gotten and shit #god there’s nothing better than getting fanart made for my fics i cannot describe that feeling of joy #i can’t draw myself and i admire artists so much so i just be looking at their mastapieces lol #i havé a folder of fanarts i go through every single day #just makes me happy hehe

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caterpillarinacave · 7 months

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I am having such a not good time

#Like just #errrgh #Special interest juices aren’t working #And I haven’t created anything lately and I don’t know why #Like I know I’m a decent writer at least I’ve won stuff for my writing before and really view it as a craft #but I’ve been feeling very discouraged #Plus I haven’t been taking great care of myself becuase I’ve had a lot of executive dysfunction #Which I usually don’t have much trouble with at all so this is new #Plus I’m the therapist friend and I don’t have a therapist becuase they scare me so the closest I get to sharing that I’m struggling is vag #Rants in the tumblr tags #Also i probably need to go back to the doctor and get more tests done and I just really don’t want to #I’m always afraid my doctors are gonna decide I’m faking #I wish I talked to more people on here I really enjoy fandom stuff #Particularly when I’m stressed but frankly the fandom is pretty stressful now and a little dead #Jkjk rant over I’m good now y’all

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ifbrd · 8 months

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Does anyone know of a Gravity Falls chapter fic that has a lot of Ford and Mabel bonding?

Will also accept non chapter fic recommendations for Mabel and Ford bonding. I just need more of those two bonding but i like chapter fics because they can keep me busy and reading for days instead of having to find new fics every day haha.

#I understand there’s probably no chapter fic that’s only Mabel and ford bonding #it would probably have other pines family bonding and I am 100% here for that #Gravity Falls #please avoid fics where ford is like unsure about Mabel or something #like imho there’s too much out there of ford being like ‘idk how to bond with this girl’#or ‘idk how reliable Mabel is she’s so unpredictable’ blah blah etc #no ford was like ‘this girl is the most creative and chaotic child I’ve ever met and I love her she’s so precious’#I will accept very few alternative interpretations #lol sorry this has been bothering me lately #though I guess I do understand that that’s probably how we get story conflict for bonding #*sigh* I’m gonna have to write something myself aren’t I?

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void-tiger · 9 months

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Well…if there’s one (1) good thing about having a crush, it’s that when I’m (for the moment anyway) not worrying about the other person’s boundaries and terror about whether I’ve stomped on them or not + my own frustration at how slow things are to just communicate verbally and directly instead of constantly dancing around nonverbal reads (that are two-way, I suppose but still no substitute, can still mean just about anything)…

…yeah. I do let myself be selfish. Acknowledge what I want instead of burying it so deeply away from my consciousness to not “take up space” I suppose. Finally give myself some damn permission to fall in love with another person “despite” being ace, and “despite” being chronically ill and struggling with my mental health.

And what is it I want?

To feel cared for. Cherished. By someone here. To wake up and have someone greet me with a gentle embrace mindful of the constant chronic pain especially in the mornings to not accidentally pinch things, but not treating me like glass, either. To be given autonomy instead of having it taken away—to do things together, FUN things, without being made to feel guilty about that “taking away” spoons from chores or “well why won’t you just work a job then!” but also respecting my need to rest periodically or take a longer rest after the fact.

To feel heard. To trust that there’s love enough for us to disagree and feel angry and frustrated and sad around eachother and with eachother without judgement, without the risk that things are forever one disagreement or misunderstanding away from falling apart completely or worse.

And please tease me. Teasing is a love language just as much as communication and encouragement and acts of service and finally being held. It’s verbal play, and I trust you to not bully me.

And…I’ve shown as much as I can, I think. I know you’re trying to mirror at least some of it. And I think I’m reading you correctly, but I wish I understood why you seem so terrified to talk directly to me.

#tiger’s musing #screw it. ‘don’t say i’m in love’ or whatever #and well. it will fade eventually. and I am very practiced at Behaving and keeping my feelings to myself #legit always have to do that the very few times I’m liked someone This Ain’t ‘Just’ Platonic Is It #because…guess what. the other person’s comfort and boundaries matters more to me #and friendships aren’t a ‘consolation prize.’ they’re the Good Shit #it’s…just that much harder when there isn’t that Direct Communication With Frequency for me #…bUT!! if he didn’t like me…why does he keep looking at me Like That?!#…right. hang in there for a few more weeks. I did hand over a script as..#…yeah. wonder if he realized /he’s/ the reason I finally found my nerve to write it the way I want #and for all my current ‘will you just RELAX and TALK to me yET?!’ frustration? he’s my muse for joseph!#I needed to see what a GOOD man even remotely looks like just as much as I needed someone like him #to accidentally or intentionally show interest (look. if ya gripe about wanting to do something. PUBLICALLY #(and it’s within my skills to make it available. guess what. I’m gonna call your bluff #(I’m too much of a writer and actress. if I see Checkov’s Gun I’m firing it!)#…does he realize that I basically told everyone off for pressuring him via social media and semi privately?#that the only reason why I started using facebook again was to get people to leave him alone?#(who knows. but that + him…kinda witnessing just How Bad my mental health is? is…when I think there was a turning point. maybe. probably.)#…I suck at socializing in Initial Stages. so much. it’s so uncomfortable #but…screw it. I’ve learned that I’ll use what power I have to change environments and make opportunities #even when it’s (deeply) uncomfortable for me to do so #…because sometimes you gotta blink first to make someone else feel safe. and hopefully latch onto that #and…yeah. guess I am patient. but also griping the entire time

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horta-in-charge · 10 months

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So far my only nitpick is that Londo still doesn’t know what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

#it’s a silly little thing but it is important to me #I’m gonna have to write this fic myself aren’t I?#babylon 5 #londo mollari #legit this show has no problems #except s2’s ending really ripped my heart out #out of office

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artemisnihil · 1 year

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I despaired over the lack of Eragon/Vanir fanfiction, but I can’t find even one fic that even mentions Iorunn! She was openly flirting with Eragon at every clanmeet! He blushed and called her a great beauty every time he happened to look at her! Am I the only one who sees the potential here?? Where are all the obscure Eragon shippers???

He is a rider and thus needs a partner who is as long-lived as him. No human will do. The elves are obvious, but it could be a dwarf! Eragon and Iorunn would be such a power couple!!

#eragon #Iorunn #nihil rants #fanfiction #I’m gonna have to write it myself aren’t I #I’m onto the Brisngr part of my reread in case you couldn’t tell #brisngr #dwarves #the inheritance trilogy

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killuaisaprincess · 1 year

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Cinderella

THEY ARE CUTE!

Zushi has a crush.

On his best friend's brother, someone who was also his friend when they were younger…

It’s confusing. Learning Nen was much easier somehow…

He couldn’t ask master; it was much too embarrassing… and besides, he'd probably bring up some statistic that would make all of Zushi’s self-confidence plummet. He couldn’t ask master’s master; she was scary… Alluka is his best friend! Which makes it all the worse! But she had just teased him and told him probably way more info than Killua himself would ever want anyone to know… so now he feels a little guilty.

But that sad look in those deep blue eyes of his… it’s like an ocean of sadness, and Zushi wants to see a smile against those pretty features like when they were younger…

But he’s no good. He doesn’t know what to say or do… he’s definitely not Alluka, who was the only person who could bring her brother out of a melancholy state, and he’s not Gon…

Zushi doesn’t even know what happened… A-and he has no right to pry!

But he can’t think of what to do, so he’s sulking at the punch table, fiddling around with a glass in his hands.

Killua hadn’t danced with a single person tonight… s-so maybe!

Oh, come on… who’s he kidding… it took him years to conquer Heaven’s Arena; something like this seems…

Zushi sighs out loud vehemently, placing the drink down and playing with his champagne-colored bowtie, bright against the pure white of his suit.

He doesn’t know how to dance…

He’ll just stay glued here, in this spot, until the party is over, he decides; until he sees Killua slowly move away from the edge of the balcony, clearly intending to leave.

H-he’s got this!

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

HE DOESN’T HAVE THIS!

He’s sweating buckets to the point he thinks his shoes must be flooding.

“O-OSU!”

He tugs at the edge of his tux, swallowing thickly.

It’s not hard to sweat just in the presence of Killua. He’s like from another dimension. The way the light pink dress he wears flows down, like a cascade of waves, highlighting his petite frame, his slender shoulders, the sleeves draping past them. His lips are the same complimentary pink, blushing his skin in spots as well.

Killua stops fiddling with his silver locks, his somber expression twisting for a second, something akin to joy, as he looks back.

“Osu. It’s been a while… you’ve gotten strong, huh?”

There’s a small catlike grin on his face for a moment.

S-strong? Oh, right!

Zushi steps forward, standing next to Killua, rigid as a board.

“Osu! B-but I’m still nothing compared to you two!”

Wrong move.

Killua’s expression crumbles so fast, Zushi wishes he could stuff the words back in his mouth. Killua physically recoils and draws closer to himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“I can’t speak for Gon… but you’re definitely stronger than me now… you train with Alluka, right? She’s gotten strong too. She can take care of herself… so I don’t really train anymore. I don’t like fighting…”

It had always been a necessity, not fun. There was only a short time it was fun for Killua…

Tears fall hot on his cheeks before he can stop them, and he wipes them away, smiling bitterly. He wants to stop them. But they don’t…

Killua dips to the floor, trying to hide, sniffing.

Oh no.

Zushi wants to disappear. His heart aches, and he looks around desperately.

Alluka!

He can’t help Killua… he wants to. But what can he do…?

Confidence! Master’s master said it is the most important thing!

He leans over slowly, gently placing a hand on Killua’s shoulder.

“Killua?”

Killua looks up, tears still pooling in his eyes, and Zushi fumbles in his pocket, pulling something out and holding it outward for Killua.

Except it’s not a handkerchief. It’s his patchwork coin purse, and nervously he draws it back, fumbling to tug out the small piece of fabric and handing it to Killua.

“U-Um! Killua-san! S-someone as pretty as you shouldn’t cry!”

Zushi hears a small gasp out of Killua’s lips, and the red around his nose turns an even deeper hue, and Zushi isn’t sure whose face is more red, feeling his own on fire, still awkwardly holding the handkerchief out, and you can hear a pin drop.

Killua gently takes the handkerchief from Zushi’s hand, his small and slender fingers brushing against Zushi’s own, and his heart swells again, and Zushi swallows, trying to keep his heart from leaving. Killua’s pretty… and cute…

Killua says he doesn’t fight anymore, but Zushi knows Killua is still strong, but he can’t help but feel the urge rise in his chest to protect him.

“U-uh! I know you don’t fight anymore, b-but! If you want to, I mean! I’d really like if you came and watched a match of mine, osu!”

“Eh?”

Killua says it so softly he almost doesn’t hear it, and his head feels like it’s swirling as he looks up; Killua gently wipes under his nose using the handkerchief before placing it in his lap. His face is still cutely red, and he looks to the side, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

“W-well Alluka has a match… that-that day, b-but! I guess I could see how strong you’ve gotten…”

Killua looks over, smiling softly, adding.

“Osu!”

#;windy’s stuff #hxh #killua #hunter x hunter #killua zoldyck #Zushi hxh #Zukini #ZERO FUCKS TO GIVE THE TAGS WILL ENJOY MY RARE PAIR CRACKSHIP #In actuality I expect either nothing or hate but 😤 THEY ARE CUTE I DO WHAT I WANT AS QUINA WOULD SAY #GK always number one in my heartbut I’ve had this rare pair for two years now #JUST LET THE CURIOSITY DRAW YOU INNN COME ON JOIN THE DARK SIDE I HAVE COOKIES #Actually it’s wholesome 🥺#ZUKINI OSU! 😤🥺#Zushi x Ki ZuKini CUTE RIGHT CAME UP WITH IT MYSELF! Another fun thing about ships that don’t exist!#KI IS A PRINCESS 🥺🤧😤😤😤 Ki in dresses 🤲👌👌👌🎀#C-CUTE #Ki is 22 and Zushi is 21 in this! I’m assuming Zush is the same age as Alluka!#I actually really find their dynamic cute 🥺🙏🤧#🥺🤲 Ki is t-tiny and fluffy and cute 🥺🙏🤲🤧 KI IS ALWAYS TINY AND PRINCESS 🥺#My Ki is always 5’3/5’4 in aged up aus and Gon is 6’6 AND IM LOVE THAT BIG GON AND TINY KI!#BUT KI IS TINY AND PRINCESS even when he’s about the same height as Zushi 🥺🙏#THERYE REALLY CUTE GIVE THEM A CHANCE 🥺🤲#ITS SUCH A DIF DYNAMIC THAN IM USED TO BUT I LOVE ZUKINI (and I love that ship name I came up with 🥺)#Zushi is a shy nervous bug and Ki is a cute shy BABEY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤲🤲🤲😭😭😭 ZUSHI WOULD TREAT KI LIKE THE PRINCESS HE IS OK #Ki is so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧 MY HEART CANNOT GO ON THEY ARE REALLY CUTE OKAY! OMG MY HEART AHHHHHHHH #KI TUCKING HIS HAIR BEHIND HIS EAR SHYLY IS SMTH I LIVE FORRRRRRR 😤 HES SO CUTE #ACTUALLY LOVED THIS IM GONNA CRY ITS SO CUTE #ZUSHI IS JUST EVERYONE WHO DOESNT LOVE KI AND WANT HIM TO BE PROTECTED AND LOVED AND THINK HES CUTE! KI IS BABEY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤲🤲🤲😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧#BEST THING ABOUT NOT EXISTING! Slight fear everyone would leave until I realize there really aren’t that many people to leave and even if #I do end up alone! I will not stop writing and making edits 😤

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bo0zey · 2 years

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everyday i wake up against my will n im lettin y’all know now that i’m abt 1 more waking up against my will day away from somehow someway making it god’s personal problem

#blueface baby ayyy #i love my cat but sometimes i am annoyed bc if it wasn’t for his existence i would said sayanora Long ago lmao #i wanna d word i was not supposed to make it past 18 i’m so fucking angry #im not gonna amt to anything in life i’m so scared of it all so pathetic and weak #i’m too weak for this world someone else can have my place i was never supposed to be here anyways hahah i’m not good at anything #i have zero talents ive wasted 10 years of my life writing books and publishing nothing i live in my stupid dreamworld #i don’t know how to hold a conversation i don’t want to go outside i want to rot in my bed i am so sick of myself #also don’t come in my ask box on some wahwahwah stop self pitying crybaby grow up ok bc i’ve literally been telling myself that for years #if someone walked up to me rn n was like here have this euthanasia pill and i knew my cat would #be safe and happy w someone else then yes i would take it in a heartbeat lmao no water necessary !!#im a burden to my family a financial burden all i’m good for is putting more debt unto others how USELESS!!!!!!!!#i have no friends but it’s my fault bc i don’t talk to anyone back i just i can’t #i think subconsciously i’m trying to push everyone further and further away so when i die they aren’t hurt #i don’t want a funeral i don’t want anyone to grieve me i feel like a narcissist even assuming someone would grieve over me lol #i just want to be forgotten about i want everyone to keep living and doing well without me to get in their way #i’m just an obstacle in other ppls lives a hindrance a fucking troll without a riddle just hurtful mean words #i’ll write everyone apology notes #i have so much guilt inside me it’s filled my lungs and heart sometimes i can’t breathe if i think abt all the ppl i’ve hurt by being alive #god put me on this earth to teach ppl lessons abt avoiding ppl like me #fuck god i’m done being his puppet i’m done hurting ppl i’m gonna go away someday and no one will ever hurt again #why do i want to cry i’m so fucking self absorbed why the fuck am i sad abt myself #i think subconsciously there’s something in me that wishes to stay alive and be the positive impact on ppls lives like i always wanted #i always wanted to help ppl and make friends and include everyone and now i’m just so toxic i let younger me and everyone else down so bad #i feel like my mom hated me too right now i feel like she deserved a better prettier smarter funnier more selfless daughter #im ok everyone btw im just being dramatic n venting lol dw i’ll start writing in a journal instead of tags soon #shut up cianna

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pleasedonthurtcjstar · 2 years

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Pov: I’m not allowed to make a RR exchange but I give you a rough outline on a hypothetical exchange

Purple: planing and making the guidelines and creating the forms

Red: promotion and sign ups

Blue: writing/art-ing/be creative

Green: post week

Notes:

Prompts would hypothetically be given out between June 1-4. Last day to drop out would be June 18th

But again, this isn’t real! I just have a problem with

#tbh I kinda wanna do a Loceit exchange lowkey #but I gotta get familiar with Loceit shippers.#I don’t wanna retype that so it’s going to show up in the tags sorry #I made this in under 5 min while explaining to someone how easy it is to make an exchange #btw exchanges aren’t easy #maybe I should just do a ship week and call it a day #uh #for tagging purposes #ig #remrom #but not really #don’t at me ok #gonna make an exchange for 4yr though.#if I’m still here #listen I have fics I have to write from the last exchange in December 😭#this is me talking to myself

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iwantyoursexmp3 · 7 months

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also waking up realising I posted an excerpt that I didn’t really want to post in hindsight but it’s okay bc this sites algorithm is so fucking bad barely anyone saw it 👍

#algorithm flopped successfully #but also in general god I hate posting stuff on here sometimes now bc of the algorithm #LIKE!! most of the stuff I post with excerpts is not even the type of stuff I want to put a taglist on #bc they’re such quick and causal posts and a tag list doesn’t feel quick and casual #i dont like using taglists im fine when other ppl tag me in things tag me in anything but i feel awkward #'announcing' myself that i have content especially on posts where im just having fun liveblogging a writing session #those posts arent content they're just me having fun!! so i feel weird taglisting them!!#but it feels like the only way to get ppl who want to see things to see them #this is why I’m not doing my writing updates on here #like yeah idc about notes but I don’t want to spend hours on something that means smth to me and then have it fed to an algorithm #like I barely have the energy to read other peoples stuff rn im not gonna spend energy on something only for the algorithm to be like no x #it just sucks the fun out of it being hyperaware of the Algorithm and the For You Page #it’s like idec how many ppl see something but I know the people who would want to see it aren’t being shown it the way they used to be #like yeah that post I made abt just scrolling through ppls blogs I want to do that but I don’t have the energy #I shouldn’t have to bc it should be on my feed!! I don’t follow a lot of ppl!!#I’m probably due a following purge bc I get like the same five blogs I follow on my following feed all the time #and like I don’t mean this necessarily negatively but its like i barely even recognise the blogs LOL??#like the blogs in my following arent the ones i interact with the most?? those are in my fyp??#which is also a mess of content that i am not interested in at all??

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thisismeracing · 2 months

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Brand new style | CL16

― Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader ― Warnings: mentions of food; typos. ― Summary: The one where Charles' has been dressing better and better each week. Fans can't help but tie that drastic change to a girlfriend, especially when he shows up wearing clothes from a small but very stylish brand, what they don't expect is that the girlfriend in question is the owner of the brand.

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, istagramuser1, and others

yourusername finishing the last few touches for this season's collection ⭐️✨

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sunshinewest can’t wait to get it!! 😍

user2 I am so readyyy

switfiedirectioner I wanna be her when I grow up

⤷ 1distraction but u already grown, bestie 😭 lmao

⤷ swiftiedirectioner shut up let me dream 🤚

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, sebastianvettel, and others

charles_leclerc race week's about to start 😎

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charleslerain things that aren’t my business but I wish were: how charles takes his coffee

sainzinho the lil pink mug 🥹🤏

fastandf1s where’s that lil sweater from????

⤷ bonohammertime Its from @ yourusername s brand?

⤷ userforty it def is! Most likely from last collection if I recall perfecly, I have a similar one

trackfour Im gonna prepare myself mentally to watch ferrari shit show 😭

iguser_ the pullover collors omggg and the fabric looks so soft

yourusername

liked by gigihadid, charles_leclerc, and others

yourusername I would bet on red for this season 😜❤️

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yourbestie 😍😍 I would bet on YOU this season

user01 omg yesss! I love red!

randomuser this looks fantastic, can’t wait to see the other options

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, lewishamilton, and others

charles leclerc 😉😉

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tifosinha I refuse to believe this was Ferrari's doing, he's been on this team for years now and they NEVER got him this stylish. there's a woman's hand on this, istg

ferrarista01 the veins 🫣🤤

leclowncircus y’all worried about charles’ style and rumored relationship meanwhile I’m just no thoughts head empty appreciating those yummy pics he’s been posting

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, and others

charles_leclerc Solid climbing session today.

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notyourbus HE’S SOFT LAUNCHING

sainzfan who’s that person wearing black?

⤷ lemonegasque million dollars question

lewforty LOL he’s so bad at other sports

arthur_leclerc as a climber you’re a great driver 👍

schumiwoff I love the fact that apprently him and the girl -both- fell hahah partnes in being horrible at Snow Sports

yourusername

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yourusername nobody needs to know I fell a hundred times while climbing

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user47 it’s fine bestie, I’m terrible at anything snow related as well lol

user90 where’s that sunglass from?

⤷ yourusername its from yyy.com :)

popyn she’s soft launching, I lost her 😭

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, francisca.cgomes, and others

yourusername had an amazing dinner tonight 🥰

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randomuser33 that “private but not a secret” type of relationship I WANT IT

user9 she’s so pretty 😍😍

charles_leclerc

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and others

charles_leclerc ma cherrie ❤️ I wouldnt have the patient to soft launch anyways

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scuderiaferrari thank goodness he's not that clumsy with car info 😅😂

yourusername you're lucky I love you 💞

pierregasly it was about time!!!!

fan44 I KNEW IT

formulaonewag welcome to the club, Yn! 🥳

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! This is part of that convo about posting my drafts hihi so yeah, here goes another one :D let me know your thoughts!

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crushmeeren · 6 months

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SFW & NSFW Bakugou Headcannons

Everyone involved in this fic is aged up/18+; continue scrolling or block if you aren’t into this

Note; These are Random SFW & NSFW Bakugou headcannons that exist to me 😫 sometimes I can’t stop thinking about Bakugou and the things he may do. I needed to just get them out even if it isn’t a one shot. Please enjoy these with me 💥 Also, these were only a few, I had a lot more but didn’t wanna make it too cluttered

Warnings; making out, pussy eating, hickies, choking, bit of dirty talk/praise, not so vanilla vaginal sex/anal sex, aftercare

Another note; I may have gone a bit overboard with this… anywho I really really liked writing this, just something to post in between my one shots, I could write more for him as well as other characters, feel free to suggest one! 💕

If this gets 1,000 notes I’m gonna shit myself

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Katsuki who constantly paints his nails black and has piercings lining from the lobes all the way up on both sides of his ears, plus a tragus on the left and a daith on the right (black and silver jewelry only)

Katsuki who also has a damn eyebrow piercing, who also has tattoos all over his arms and chest (mostly black & gray), it all, unsurprisingly, makes you drool

Katsuki who is actually left handed, who places his right hand on the soft, sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he drives because he always wants to touch you (the fucker squeezes a bit too hard when someone cuts him off, road rage for real with him)

Katsuki who only listens to Japanese rock and heavy metal at full fucking volume, who rolls the windows down during summer and blasts it while you drive down the highway (but you love the music too, so you digress)

Katsuki who religiously wears all black, who loves Doc Martens and Vans, who has an unbearable amount of SiM band T-shirts (which you steal, but he doesn’t mind)

Katsuki who plays the drums and learns your favorite rock song just so he can play it for you (spoiler- you cry)

Katsuki who says fuck almost every other word (but so do you)

Katsuki who introduces you to Eijirou & Denki, who become some of your closest & best friends (you’re so grateful for this, you love those idiots, they’re at your house often)

Kastuki who flushes a soft peachy color to the tips of ears the first time you call him Katsuki

Katsuki who bakes you any desert you want, whenever you want, who always makes you dinner (it’s like an orgasm in your mouth)

Katsuki who encouraged you to get into fitness in the first place, who has supported you every step of the way, who loves you no matter what you look like, but wanted to share his passion of working out with you (Eijirou is often there with you)

Katsuki who helped you learn how to love yourself, who has always been your weight lifting/running buddy (you complain, but now you secretly love going to the gym with him. Plus Bakugou in gym clothes? Dear god.)

Katsuki who pushes you outside your comfort zone, who is stern but that’s what you need to stay focused

Katsuki who can tell when you’re getting overstimulated at the grocery store, so he moves as fast as he can, giving anyone around you the bitchiest look he can manage, while holding your hand and whispering sweet words to you

Katsuki who loves you unconditionally, who you trust wholeheartedly, who is your best friend, who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and he feels the exact same way

💥Little Warning, the NSWF part is below this 💥

Katsuki who fucking loves making out, who gets warm shivers, cock throbbing when you lick behind his teeth and over the roof of his mouth

Katsuki who sucks your soft nipples into his mouth one at a time, who likes to tease you, giving you the erotic view of his warm tongue swirling around one, sucking with plush lips, who bites and pulls making your skull dig into the pillow

Katsuki who sharply bites hickies into the underside of your tits, dull teeth making your skin ache, forcing you to squeal as he liters you with bruises

Katsuki whose voice is gravelly and low when he whispers to you that you’re his needy little bitch and his sweet girl in the same goddamn sentence (you think you could cum just from his nasty mouth)

Katsuki who wraps his pretty lips around your clit making you see stars, sucking gently, who slips his middle two fingers into your slick pussy and swirls his tongue around your sensitive bud until your dripping, badly aching for his cock

Katsuki who gets you so motherfucking wet his thick cock slides in all the way in at once, curly blonde pubes brushing your clit, who sends heat flaring up your spine, out to your limbs as you feel every inch of his dick slide in and out

Katsuki who bites roughly at your calf (he really loves biting you), who leaves teeth marks near your ankle bone as he wraps his fingers around one leg, hooking your knee over his shoulder as he folds you in half

Katsuki who lets you wear his fingers as a necklace, squeezing the sides just right, so you feel dizzy, lightheaded with pleasure when he makes you cum like that

Katsuki who gets so sweaty during sex you watch as it drips down the side of his face, down his neck, who laughs, making you feel filthy when you can’t resist the urge to sit up and lick the liquid from the hollow of his throat

Katsuki who actually fucking loves anal because your ass sucks his cock in just right, who fucks you from behind while he stretches your ass open (little bit of double penetration with his fingers, it’s so damn good)

Katsuki who lets you guide his cock slowly into your ass, panting, whining, growling about how hard it is not to flex his cock so he doesn’t rip you in half

Katsuki who lets out high pitched whines/moans when he starts to really fuck your tight ass, who pushes down on your upper back, nails digging in, forcing you into the mattress

Katsuki who fucks your ass so well your fingers almost rip the sheets, who has you screaming Katsuki! so loud you muffle your shouts in the mattress, whose hips bounce off your ass so hard it turns your skin red

Katsuki who nails your sweet spot through your ass, who makes you makes you cum so hard you get chills, who makes you scream out that you can’t take it (but you can and he knows, your safe word is dragonfruit after all)

Katsuki who is so mean, gripping your hips so tightly, pulling you back into his thrusts, who speaks condescendingly when he asks you where the fuck you think you’re going, because he knows you can take his thick cock, cuz you’re his good little girl

Katsuki who fills your ass, your pussy, cums anywhere he fucking wants because he can, covering you in thick, warm ribbons of his release

Katsuki who cleans you up after, who helps you get dressed, who trades sweet kisses with you in the dark as he holds you until you pass out, head resting on his chest as he snores softly

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