#I'M NOT I SWEAR

[neongreengummiebears]

Not to sound like a boomer on main, because I love my phone- I do. But I really miss the day when I could hang out in public without having to hear everyone else's phones. I don't care if there are babies crying (because babies cry sometimes) or if other people are having conversations (because that's what people come to cafes and such to do) but hearing tinny little phone sounds blasting out loud out of their speakers drives me insane. I'm only in my 30's, why are you making me complain about how things were "back in my day" like I'm 80? Public phone noise is prematurely aging me. Send help.

#Complaining #Like an old lady #I'm not I swear #But also- Back in my day #*shakes fist at sky* #It's giving “Old man screams at cloud” #I am the old man #Only Im not a man Im a woman and instead of screaming at clouds im slowly having my sanity stolen by people watching videos on their phones #out loud in public spaces #Can we normalize not doing this? #Use headphones or something #Please- I beg of you #technology #cafe #coffee shop #writing #im just trying to write a fun little story i don't care whats happening on your phone #keep it to yourself

[softly-n-sweetly]

I'm not thinking about soft somno YOU'RE thinking about soft somno

#not thinking about someone sweetly but firmly using me to make themselves feel good #nope #I'm not I swear #tw somno #soft somno

[detective-asshole]

I’m pretty sure your still in your Emo phase just like… lowkey now

NO

#I'M NOT I SWEAR

[avengers-rule103]

i'm not getting a crush on freddy carter, i'm not getting a crush on freddy carter, i'm not getting a crush on freddy carter, I'M NOT-

#freddy carter #I'M NOT I SWEAR

[wumblr]

FINE i'll develop a jitterbug rootkit. since nobody else is fucking going to

#this is a lie i am not doing this #I'M NOT I SWEAR

[a-light-case-of-ohno]

My oc Sirius has nothing that should make me feel empathy for him, no trauma or struggles, yet he's still my favourite.

He's my perfect arsonist, (kinda) anarchist, homicidal, chaotic, war criminal.

#sirius the cherubim #oc #angel oc #biblical oc #my oc #original character #my character #comfort character #he's a little silly goofy #goodness...is that still slang #my generation changes slang so quickly #now I sound 'Not like other gen z' TM #I'm not I swear #writers #writers on tumblr #writeblr

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[arsenicpanda]

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023)

#fnaf #fnafedit #Five Nights at Freddy's #fnaf movie #matpat #fnaf movie spoilers #fnaf spoilers #fyeahmovies #filmedit #gifs* #arsenicpandacreates #this LYING LIAR WHO LIES acted like he WASN'T IN THE MOVIE alskjflskjf #yes I DID stop watching to make this gif set what of it? #also I do not like this coloring but also I'm sick of looking at it and want to sleep soooooo #there is NO COLOR in this scene I SWEAR TO GOD #you would not BELIEVE the vibrancy + saturation it took to get it to this bland point #and any further started causing problems booooooo

[confusedhomicidalrage]

I'm not desperate for attention

...You cried after not getting attention for two hours-

I'm not desperate for attention

#I'M NOT I SWEAR #Is this a joke? Who knows

[sergle]

the threshold has been crossed, it is now springtime!!

#sergle art #artists on tumblr #illustration #body posi #fat art #body positive #stretch marks #heey it's chboy. skinny penits. i haven't killed myself i SWEAR. i'm still in my cave and i still draw #i hope you like the pieces because i really liked doing the more stylized flowers on the first two #like that actually gave me so much enjoyment doing the flowers that way on miss blue hair

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

#i'd have like. five. which isn't a lot but IT KEEPS HAPPENING #stranger things #platonic stobin #steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #here we go again boys #i've had this floating in my head for a Minute and i was like #nah i'm not gonna do it #maybe i'll anonymously write a fic #but no we're mombin posting on main #i think on twt we agreed it's a 'what's the worst that could happen' situation #platonic co parents can be so so so personal #also i have One more stobin wip and then bg3 again i swear #when i have a baby i Will be putting my giant black wings on beforehand #they have to know what kind of family they're coming into #cw pregnancy

[quarklynx]

here’s my cosplay of that old lady with a sword

#don't mess with her #sword #cosplay #old lady ad #i have no idea how to tag this i just thought it was funny i had the same sword so i pulled out my stage makeup and just did this lmao #this took me like two hours with cleanup. pls reblog to make my efforts for this shitpost worth it #i'm in my mid 20's i swear #1k #5k #10k #20k #owo;

[3hobbitsinatrenchcoat]

#ao3 #ao3 down #meme #I'm being so normal about this I swear #archive of our own

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

#jeeves and wooster #i want to watch tumblr go rabid i want to watch ao3 overflow with jeeves/wooster fanfiction #yes obviously the fandom EXISTS but it's a cozy little neighborhood #a handful of talented artists and writers doing their best to keep their charming little village going #but i'm tired of cozy i want this fandom TRENDING #I WANT TO SEE THIS ON MY DASHBOARD PEOPLE #i swear to you if they made a shiny new tv series tumblr would absolutely obsess over these characters. good omens levels of obsession #it's just such a great dynamic! the good-natured overly-trusting bumbling idiot in constant need of rescuing! #the stoic all-knowing genius who quietly masterminds mayhem in order to protect this one moron he's devoted himself to for some reason #jeeves as a morosexual is just such a beautiful interpretation of the original text #wooster as a happy-go-lucky himbo who stumbles his way into a relationship with a protective caring and supremely competent mastermind #the angst and social complexities of a same-sex cross-class relationship in turn-of-the century london! #oh AND half the stories are about jeeves helping wooster get out of engagements/desperately avoid marriage #two men who live together constantly scheming to maintain their bachelorhood. this is quite literally the main plot point #the gay subtext is there! the gay subtext is there and very ripe for picking!!! #this thing is LOCKED AND LOADED we can pounce literally any time

[fromaliminalspace]

Steve helpfully offering his hand to everyone boarding the boat, only to get ignored or unnoticed every single time. that’s it, that’s the post

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #fruity four #the fruity four #joseph quinn #joe keery #maya hawke #natalia dyer #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things 4 spoilers #gif #Liam's stuff #Liam whispers into the void #hello everyone guess i'm officially at the gifmaking stage of the brainrot now whoops #and i've got more in store. at the very least more ideas #also deepest apologies to my followers who did not came here for st content i swear i'll get back on my cql and ragnarok bullshit soon #hmm and actually now i'm overthinking my coloring choices here. somehow it looks worse than i thought it is but well #the initial darkness of this scene obviously didn't help with the quality either alas #anyway have some fruity four everyone #welcome onto the fruity four ship with me i'd love some good company #stedit

[kermit-coded]

thinking about how both kristen and buddy died so easily. how they were treated as disposable sacrifices by both their church and their god and their community. thinking about "helio wouldn't have let that happen" and thinking about kristen dying on the first day of school despite being the chosen one. thinking about how the religious conservatives are always the first to cry "think of the children!" and then being the ones to harm their children the most in the end.

#soda speaks #normal normal normal i swear i'm normal about this #d20 #fh #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #fantasy high spoilers #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #buddy dawn #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year