DANCE WITH ME YOU LI-IA-IAR ♡
OVERBLOT ASHI??? ANYBODY??? the ANGST that this baby can store!!! SHEESH!!!!!!! <3 I only have one post dedicated to her and liar dance lyric analysis (the post is kinda outdated in gen) BUT…… I also have an overblot monologue as a treat 🫶 I wanted to better explain her angst and so!!! BABAM!!! enjoy
ASHI’S MONOLOGUE:
Sometimes I wonder why I ended up here.
A place named “Twisted Wonderland”, and at a school named “Night Raven College”.
At first, I figured that I was the odd one out— Y’know, the Ramshackle prefect and everything. The magicless girl at the magical all boys school? Nuts, ain’t it?
I’m known for a lot of things. Things that are different from the others. The fact that I stand out is part of the Ashi charm, something I’m known for.
But… Over time I found myself sorta feeling in place here.
Because as much as I try to believe it, I can’t safely say that I’m better than anyone else here.
I’m a fake. I make conversation and lots of friends, but for what? A backup in case something goes wrong? A sense of protection for my reputation? In what case are any of those friendships something I truly want? In what case are any of these strings more than just a tool instead of a thread made of my real feelings?
Behind this, I’m no different from any other student here. Even through my individuality, my cheerfulness, my endearing oddness… I’m still a horrible person. Using people to get what I want, toying with people and their feelings in order to gain power and gain a spot the top. All to become untouchable. It’s screwed. It’s not right.
My insides are ugly. The truth of me is something I want to keep tucked away deeply, because I don’t want people to see this part of me. A brash, annoying, selfish version of me, everything people hate to see. I don’t want this side of me to be seen because people will run away— people I don’t care much about, sures, but people I love, too. I don’t want to drive them away. So I keep quiet and give them a shallow show.
I give them a source of entertainment that’s controlled by the real me, every calculated movement translating into a marionette-like response. The only show I allow you to see is one that’s so carefully crafted by the chaotic clown backstage. The one that is shunned away from the light, the strings being the only hint of the puppet’s phony existence to the foolish audience.
But suddenly, I feel as if being here has started to let this side of me come crawling back into the spotlight.
It scares me.
It scares me to be vulnerable, let all of my faults lay out on the table like playing cards. To take the risk without the protection, to gamble everything I’ve built up away just like that. But you…
You.
You make me feel safe. You make me feel as if I don’t need to hide anything. I can give you the key to my heart and you would have no malicious intent. You wouldn’t cut out the parts people don’t like. You would enjoy the performance in full, every bit of it.
You make me believe that I’m nothing special, and yet something so valuable at the same time.
It’s silly. You’re silly. And yet that’s something that’s helped me.
It’s helped me realize that that truly is just how people are.
We aren’t villains. We aren’t antagonists. We aren’t monsters.
We are nothing but people, with faults and feelings that should be valued.
I am more than just a jester, a sake of entertainment.
I’m a person who is entirely worthy of love. All of me.
It reminds me that I must’ve came here for a reason.
Because this is where I belong.
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I DEEPLY miss the era of being an online artist and being able to have a page with detailed customization and SLATHERING it with your ocs, your art, your friends, other artists you looked up to, etc . And striving to make it really POP, but like, not as a form of… “branding” or trying to sell your aesthetic, back then it was literally just “hiii look at my ocs :3c i made this page myself with basic html and i had fun!! Look look look!!”, i miss pagedolls, i miss pixel art, i miss old school deviantart and tumblr where we actually cared about each other’s page themes , i miss artists being a more intertwined community instead of being forced to focus on what is the most “palatable” !! I wish we didn’t have to sell an easy-to-swallow “brand” to survive, i just want to create, and i miss when there were platforms FOR artists, yknow?
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this is so corny but i’ve been listening to copacabana on repeat and the first half of the song is SO sanuso coded to me…..like an AU or something where they work at a night club where usopp is one of the entertainers and sanji is a bartender and they’re in love but have to keep their relationship on the down low because of their jobs but sanji’s guard dog tendencies keeps the rumor mill running lol
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do any of the adoption kids dance? what's their taste in music? also is there a story behind the splash on iskra's right forehead temple?
OMG i have so many silly little thoughts about postcanon Cardassian youth music
I love my post-WWII cultural timeline for cardassia, which puts 20 years post-Fire sort of in the mainstream jazz/swing era. Out from the dignified waltzing of Garak's youth and into furtive lindy hopping in basements and bombed-out factories after government curfew.
Iskra definitely sneaks out to go to parties with the rest of the disillusioned youth of Prime. Garak knows. She knows he knows. He desperately yearns for a Cardassia filled with dancing and music and so he will condone youthful rule-breaking.
Mels suggested Romulan pop (rpop you might say) becoming a chief cardassian cultural import and I think that that's hilarious so I'm claiming it. Garak hates it but it's ubiquitous. Electropop cover of the Anthem of the Cardassian Union. Iskra Idan and Jocasta love it and play it constantly.
Young Elim listens to Terran music that he's picked up from Julian. They do sing-alongs on long drives. It's very sweet because neither of them can sing for shit. Jo listens to Cardassian classics and the occasional classical Vulcan or Andorian piece while she works.
Idan plays the Romulan harp (vulcan harp, but Romulan style [e.g. violin vs fiddle]). The harp itself was a gift from Bashir's parents. He mostly just toodles around on it for fun and appalls his Vulcan classmates with his banjo riffs.
As for Iskra's scar, it's the usual thing you'd see with being a child victim of annihilative mondicide.
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