#LETS ALL FREAK OUT OVER 285

[melonshark]

#hi yes this is me being anxious over 285 #also this meme never gets old i love it #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #kiribaku #bakushima #meme #bnha spoilers #bnha light novel #LETS ALL FREAK OUT OVER 285

[palbabor-writes]

I have, uh, thoughts...

M’kay, I know this has likely been harped on until nothing is left but little bits and pieces, but after reading this latest chapter, I realized what’s been bothering me about this current arc. It’s the imbalance of violence and aggression that is heaped onto Shigaraki.

I don’t know if this is Horikoshi’s intention, and I’m likely looking wayyy too into this, but I’d argue you don’t have your characters say things for no reason. So, if you’ve got a minute, let’s see if I can sort through these nagging emotions of mine.

warnings: manga spoilers 220 - 285, basically, no touch if you don’t want to see the current arc 

Ok. Let’s roll the clock back and look at something Shigaraki told us at the USJ.

Now, while he has changed a lot from these early arcs, that core motivation he carries here is the same. He wants society to see just how fragile and how ridiculous their reliance on a hero state of justice really is. And, I would say that he’s absolutely right in this assessment.

The idea of heroes and villains needs a foundation of violence. They need that evil, almost as much as they need the concept of justice. It’s the age old right and wrong theory. It doesn’t leave space for grey, for nuance, for differences in ideology or upbringing.

However, heroes like to ignore what they can’t fix. Like anyone, they’re human and humans don’t often take pleasure in looking at the uncomfortable. I’d argue that’s why Gran Tourino doesn’t check back in on Kotaro. Yes, he made a vow, but those memories of that crying child being placed with a trusted friend, and not his mother, not Nana, have stuck with him. Nana wouldn’t be any wiser, or any less dead, if he checked in on her son. In chapter 281, we finally, FINALLY see Gran reflecting on that choice both he and Nana made

If he had checked in, Kotaro might have known a different memory of his mother, or he might have at least been able to see the threads of aggression and abuse that were riddling Tenko’s life. He might have seen AFO, manipulating and watching. Might, might, might. No matter how you shake it, everything changes when there’s some kind of monitoring, of looking out for your fellow man.

With that in mind, BNHA’s world state, which is based on hero work, would need a strong set of checks and balances to function properly, to catch those falling into the cracks & I’d argue we don’t see much push for that from the everyday populace.

Which is wild. Because society itself is practically Quirkless. Sure, 80% have a quirk, but in Japan you cannot use your quirk in public. If you do, you run the risk of arrest or classification as a villain.

That is why we see moments like these

Izuku is likely one of the only people in this massive crowd who really has no quirk. There is a horde of people standing there and no one is lifting a finger. It’s kinda a “bread and circuses,” mentality. They look fucking entertained and no one is freaking out except for Izuku, who knows what it feels like inside that goop thing. Instead, they’re all waiting, watching for the next hero, or for All Might to show up. But wait, aren’t there heroes there? It’s a city and this is a massive attack, it’s brought foot traffic to a standstill, surely a hero will get there and save this boy who is literally dying.

Oh. They’re there. But they’re waiting too

They are all “managing,” the situation and hoping Bakugo will survive long enough for someone with the right quirk to come along. Not polling the masses of people to see if any of them could possibly assist in the meantime, no, all these civilians get to watch this miscarriage of “justice.” Don’t worry. If the kids strong enough, he’ll make it.

So far, Shigaraki’s underlying motivation calling for a more rigorous, critical, take on heroes doesn’t feel too far fetched. Looking at chapter 1 alone, the current way things are isn’t right and it’s not fair.

Now, Shigaraki isn’t going about asking for it the “right,” way, but I bet he’d see a similar response even if he wasn’t hurting and maiming people as he goes.

The latter would let him be swept aside just as easily as the former. We see this happen with Stain. The news isn’t talking about the Nomu, or the countless people who were terrorized and hurt. No, they’re talking about the Hero Killer, because just like in our real society, that’s what get the clicks, the likes and the attention. Again, people don’t like to look at things that make them uncomfortable.

Yet, even with this horrifying fact, that Stain could go down in history books as a villain, as someone who gleefully killed others, people, both good and bad, sat up and took notice. Many even identified with his ideals: That heroes are corrupt and they are only in the field for the fame and money. Only All Might was the perfect specimen to Stain. Because this is an idea that people can get behind, to me, that means that others know things are stacked against the underbelly, the downtrodden. But they can’t be bothered to call for change.

On the flip side, Shigaraki, who has a better grasp on the true ills and neglect of hero society is often told he has no “real,” ideology, no real conviction, and this is a theme that’s repeated over and over and over.

Like most things in BNHA, it begins with All Might

Then it’s carried to Stain, Dr. Ujiko, an ally and long time supporter of AFO, to Re-Destro, and, most recently, to Endeavor. They all can’t see what Shigaraki is wanting, what he’s calling for.

It’s easier to name him a monster, a freak, scum, then to listen or to absorb any of what he’s saying.

But, as he says, he’s got convictions. He’s got his father’s, he’s got AFO’s ideas on the ethics and morals of hero society, AFO’s drive to crush OFA, once and for all, and his own deep seeded resentment and neglect toward a broken hero society. Honestly, he’s got more motivation than almost any other character.

And how is he treated? How does Horikoshi show us the “heroes” response? He gives up a heaping of violence. From chapter 270 to 285, Tomura Shigaraki is hit, punched, burned and beat around a whopping 36 times. And, for most of this fight, he is effectively quirkless.

How many hits does he get in? A grand total of 6.

And his first reaction is never to maim, in these moments, instead it’s to talk, to rattle, and to question

He only goes for Endeavor after he’s been burned, likely, without his regeneration abilities, to the point of death. These heroes aren’t aiming to subdue, they’re going in for the kill. And yes, he has just decayed an entire hospital and the surrounding area, the heroes are warranted in their anger and their frustration. After all, they’re the ones who dropped the ball here. This was a “planned” raid and they should have been the only ones in any real danger. They’re heroes, so I’d argue that it’s their job, their life’s mission to save, no matter the cost.

Besides, if they can spare AFO, not once, but twice, they should be trying to spare Shigaraki just as hard.

This has been a long and drawn out arc, with many, many ups and downs, but the one thing I don’t wanna see is the heroes getting a pass. This society has pitfalls and it’s got big ones. People are treated as lesser if they don’t have quirks, or if they have the wrong ones, the ones that don’t make them look normal. People are pressed to the side when they don’t conform and a hero, the current number one, has gotten away with mentally, and physically, scarring his family for over 20 years.

Right now, there are no checks. There is no: who watches the watcher in this world and I’d argue society has suffered for it.

Yet how are we shown how to treat those who don’t agree with us? With anger, untapped rage and physical violence, of course. And this is true of BOTH sides.

At the end of the day, as he said back at the USJ: violence only breeds more violence and while I don’t like predicting future chapters or arcs, I’m hoping that thread won’t be dropped. It’s one of the things that drew me into BNHA and I hope we get to see more, not less, of that grey morality.

#meta #bnha meta #bnha reflections #bnha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #like don't touch if you don't wanna see #this is just me airing out my feelings #shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki #midoriya izuku #all might #toshinori yagi #afo #ofa #bnha endeavor #enji todoroki #ideology #convictions #pal muses #on japan hero society

[croissantconnoisseurdinosaur]

Coping with 285, Pt. 3

Deku was the first to wake up in the hospital.  He was followed closely by his teacher — hospital had staff informed him — about 30 minutes later.  When he asked the nurse about Kacchan, she informed him that he was still out cold.  Izuku’s heart pounded in his chest as dread swept through his body with a freezing chill.  

Deku had been discharged and released from the hospital yesterday, but Kacchan still hadn’t woken up.  He’d been battling high fevers for days, in and out of consciousness, but never lucid either way.

Izuku had actually gone into his room that first night at the hospital, against doctor’s orders.  He’d pulled himself up onto his shaky legs, and dragged himself and his IV bags to Kacchan’s room in the middle of the night.  He’d stood in the doorway listening to the various beeps and hissings of the machines hooked up to Katsuki Bakugo.  Eventually, Izuku had gained the strength to venture fully into the room.  He’d pulled up a chair and sat next to Bakugo, just watching him.  He spoke to him occasionally, but it didn’t really matter, he couldn’t really hear him that well anyway.  He’d stayed so long he’d accidentally fallen asleep, and hospital staff had to walk him back to his own room and get him back into his own hospital bed.  

Now here he was, sitting in the lobby of the hospital with everybody else, just as his friends had done every single day since they’d all been admitted.  It started with the entirety of class A, but day after day the group had thinned, and now only a few remained.  Kacchan’s parents had been waiting there nonstop for the first two days, but eventually they both had to go back to work, and doctors promised to call them once he was awake.  It broke Deku’s heart that more didn’t stay for Kacchan… 

“I’m going to the snack machines you guys want anything?”  Kaminari asked, attempting to bring some lightheartedness to the situation.  A few agreed to go with him, a few declined politely.  His golden gaze shifted over to Kirishima.  “Dude, come with us.  You look like you could use a distraction right about now.”  Kirishima shook his head, a look of absolute hopelessness etched onto his face.  Kaminari frowned, “come on.  You’ve been sitting there all day and you haven’t moved, not even once.”

“I don’t want to,” Kirishima uttered in a dead voice.  It was such a departure from the usual ray of sunshine that Kirishima was. 

Kaminari gulped and turned towards Sero for help, who’s sad eyes were glued to Kirishima’s expression. 

“Please?”  Kaminari tried.  “I’ll buy you a soda or something.  You can’t tell me you don’t need the caffeine.”  Kirishima’s hardened expression remained steady as he nodded, conceding.  “Ok, buddy,” Kaminari smiled sweetly, tapping Kirishima on the shoulder as he stood.

The small group had just wandered off when an excited nurse came buzzing into the room.  

“Visitors of Bakugo, Katsuki?”  Those remaining in the lobby perked up in anticipation.  “He’s awake.  The doctor says it’s ok to visit with him now.” 

Izuku Midoriya had rocketed himself out of the chair and zoomed down the hall towards Bakugo’s room as fast as he could.  He could just barely hear All Might asking the nurse to inform those who had left for the vending machines once they get back.  Deku rounded the corner and skidded to a halt — grabbing onto the door frame for support and slamming into it painfully with his shoulder.  Bakugo looked at him and kind of snickered at the ridiculous injury.

He’s okay… HE’S OKAY! 

Deku ran the rest of the way into the room, laughing and crying as Todoroki and All Might trailed in behind him.

“KACCHAN!  You… YOU’RE… YOU’RE OKAY!”  Deku’s hands kind of flew all over the place — covering his mouth as he cried, hovering all over Kacchan’s general vicinity without actually touching him (fearing the consequences if he did).  His hands both finally landed on the top of his green head as he let out a high-pitched laugh of pure relief.  It felt cathartic to finally laugh again.  

Todoroki was just staring at Bakugo, grinning at him silently as he took in the sight of his friend, alive and well. 

“Young Bakugo… you certainly had me worried there for a while,” All Might chuckled uncomfortably, eyes swimming and filling with tears. 

Bakugo grinned at his mentor and personal hero, determination burning in his eyes as he scoffed.

“Worried?  About me?  …What for?”  Bakugo smirked charmingly.

All Might guffawed.  “You’re entirely right.  I should have known a fighter like you would not be taken down so easily.” 

Bakugo pretended he didn’t feel a swell of pride in his chest at All Might’s words. 

All Might ruffled Bakugo’s hair, proud tears pouring out of his sunken eyes.

“You really are a true hero,” he grinned like a proud father.  Bakugo looked up at him with wide eyes, an almost childlike expression.

A sniffle brought Bakugo’s attention back to Deku, standing behind All Might, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“S’wrong with you?”  The blond growled from his hospital bed. 

Midoriya shook his head back and forth, taking a deep breath before he spoke, gravely.  

“I just can’t believe you protected me… I’d be dead now if it wasn’t for you.”  He whispered, darkly, in awe at the thought that his life could have ended, if not for Kacchan’s selflessness. 

Kacchan’s eyebrows stitched together for a moment, before neutrality flattened his expression again.

“Of course I did it… you really think I’m gonna let you die right in front of me?  No freaking way…” 

Normally, he would have said that with some sort of snarl or smirk, but there was nothing.  Izuku’s childhood friend set his jaw firmly and stared off to the side with a hint of embarrassment.

Deku smiled at him, tears steadily falling from his eyes as he continually wiped at his face. 

Kacchan turned his attention back to Midoriya with a half-hearted scowl, “what the hell are you smiling about, huh?” He growled, clearly uncomfortable with the silence.  Deku chuckled melodically.  His green eyes shed a few more tears as he grinned back at the boy who had sacrificed himself for him: his friend.  

“Just… thank you, Kacchan…”  

Bakugo stared back with an indiscernible expression, before he finally clicked his teeth.  

“Tch.  Stop crying, Deku, you’re gonna dehydrate,” Kacchan snarled with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.  That wasn’t surprising.  What was surprising was what followed: a smile.  It started off as a taunting smirk, but it softened into one of those rare smiles that Deku had only ever seen a handful of times (and never directed at him.  They mostly happened when Kacchan didn’t even know Deku was looking, and they were mostly only directed at—). 

“BAKUGO!”  

Kirishima burst into the room, followed closely by Kaminari, Sero, and Ashido.

The front runner ran right up to the hospital bed, and wrapped his arms around the startled patient. 

“OW!”  Bakugo snarled at him, loudly.

“CAREFUL!” Came dual shouts from both Kaminari and All Might.

“Sorry!” Kirishima whispered, adjusting his hold, but refusing to let go.

“Get off me, shitty hair…” 

There was no movement from the red head. 

“Kirishima…” Bakugo grumbled in protest.  He raised his right hand, as if to push Kirishima away, but he hesitated.  Instead, he simply rested his scarred palm against his shoulder and held it there.  When the redhead didn’t pull away, Bakugo jostled his shoulder just slightly.  “Kirishima…” he sighed, slightly annoyed. 

It was then that it became clear that Kirishima was crying. 

A small sniffle escaped, muffled against Bakugo’s pillow.  Red Riot’s shoulders began to tremble as his breathing hitched quietly.  Bakugo’s hand lifted off of him in shock.  He’s… crying?  After a moment, Bakugo lowered his hand, slowly, resting comfortably against his dyed red hair.  “Eijiro…” he whispered, tenderly.

Silently, All Might ushered the rest of the kids out of the room.  Bakugo didn’t even notice they were gone. 

“You almost died…” came the broken whimper from Kirishima. 

Bakugo gulped reflexively.  “Yeah, but I didn’t…” he snarled, almost like he was challenging death. 

“I almost lost you…”   

Bakugo froze at that.  He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do. 

A snarky, ’Why would you care?’ Was almost his first response.  But that would’ve been stupid.  Of course he cared.  The spiky haired embodiment of the color red had only been following him everywhere since he’d first arrived at UA.  You could even say they were… friends… 

And if the roles were reversed…

Bakugo couldn't even lie to himself.  Of course he would care, too, if it was he who had almost lost the one trembling in his arms.

He almost couldn’t imagine that reality.  He didn’t want to.

Bakugo closed his eyes and tilted his head towards Kirishima’s — hand still resting heavily against the back of his head.  

“You really think I’d let myself die before I got the chance to be number one?  No.  Don’t be stupid,” Bakugo drawled with a determined grin audible in his voice.  

Kirishima chuckled in what felt like the first time in days.  Then he laughed louder.  He just kept laughing until he finally released his hold on Bakugo, tilting his head back and laughing boisterously until his entire body shook from the effort.  He was soon wiping happy tears from his eyes instead of anxious ones.  

Midoriya heard the commotion from just outside the door and peeked his head in, out of curiosity.  He half prepared himself for Kacchan to realize, and yell at him for spying from the doorway like a creep, but the blond never even noticed him.  That’s not where he was looking.

That’s when Izuku saw it: that smile, bigger and brighter than ever.  

His green eyes shined happily as he watched him from afar.  

Upon hearing laughter erupting from the hospital room, Kaminari took it upon himself to enter the room again. 

“Kacchan!  Glad to see you’re in good spirits!” Kaminari teased him, walking in with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed in a happy display of lightheartedness. 

“Tch,” Bakugo’s smile tilted into a good-natured scowl.  

The group stayed in that hospital room as long as they were physically allowed.  Then, when the nurse came in to announce that visiting hours were over, All Might had convinced her to let it slide, just this once.  She let it slide because, well… it’s All Might.  

Eventually, it got so late that most of them had said their goodbyes and left.  All Might had just dismissed himself, departing with a loving ruffle of Bakugo’s hair, and encouraging words of pride. Now it was only Kirishima and Izuku, but the latter figured that the injured patient would need rest, so he tapped the redhead on the shoulder, and nodded towards the door.  

Midoriya was about to walk through the door when Bakugo’s voice stopped him. 

“W-wait!”  He stuttered in a panicked voice.  Kirishima and Midoriya turned around to see Bakugo scowling at his hands, as if scolding himself for speaking up.  He finally looked back up at them, grabbing the hospital remote from his nightstand.  “Do you losers wanna watch a movie?” 

So they did. 

Eventually, Deku had fallen asleep.  He awoke around 3 am, when his back began aching from the hospital chair he was slouched in.  The tv was still on, playing some other movie now, and he suspected the one they had been watching had been over for a while now.  

He should probably turn off the tv.  Where was that remote?  Izuku was the last to have it, so he searched around himself and under the bed, with no luck. 

“Kacchan, where—”  Deku’s words stopped short at the sleeping sight of the other two.  

Kirishima had fallen asleep with his head resting on the hospital bed, right next to Bakugo’s lap, head tilted so he could still see the tv.  Bakugo was still lying on his back, but his head was lulled to the side towards Kirishima.  What had made Midoriya freeze in his tracks however was Kacchan’s hand — turned palm-up, next to his side — with Kirishima’s own scarred hand resting on top, both of their fingers curled around the other’s.

He stared at them in shock for a moment, before a smile softened his freckled expression.  He was vaguely reminded of the events of Kamino: the look on Bakugo’s face when he’d seen Kirishima calling to him from the sky; the way Kirishima kept reaching for Bakugo’s hand even after the fact, just needing to know he’d had Bakugo safe in his hand, despite being rejected every time… 

Izuku decided to pretend he’d never woken up.  Let them stay like that for a while longer.  He climbed back into the chair, curling up in a more comfortable position, and drifted back asleep.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright well there you have it.  This part is definitely more Fanon than canon at this point, but I still tried to make it kinda possible.  

I hope you enjoyed my little ramblings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt. 1: here.    pt. 2:  here

#bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha eijiro kirishima #kiribaku #kamino ward #ch 285 #ch 285 spoilers #bnha #deku #ch 286 fic

[soulquirk]

I have to say that your post about the spoiler 285 chapter? Does make me slightly feel better Like legit all day I've just been low key anxious and mad and telling g myself "it's just fiction" But kinda hard when My Hero is your happy place. But I just wanted to let you know that it made me feel better. 🎨-annon.

aww, I'm glad!! everyone's kinda been freaking out over it but my sleuthy ass is on the case dw

#my posts #asks with annie #🎨 anon #bnha manga spoilers

[haloud]

the stumbling phase of the midnight waltz

ao3

Alex makes one stop before he hits 285 and leaves town for a few days in Albuquerque with his old unit. Liz meets him at the Crashdown’s back door, but she doesn’t hold out her hand for the key he’s trying to give her.

“Does he know you’re giving me this?” She asks, arms folded, gaze levelled at the cracked rubber of the old UFO Emporium keychain instead of anywhere near Alex’s face.

“Life is too uncertain; we’re big on emergency contacts these days. Kyle won’t be back from his conference until after I get back. Turns out he’d rather it be you than Max or Isobel. All he said when I asked was ‘she gets it better.’” Alex shrugs. “I trust you, too. I didn’t press him.”

Liz lets him hand her the key and shoves it quickly into the pocket of her robe. This isn’t a responsibility she ever expected, not an honor she ever thought to receive. After the way Michael reacted when circumstances forced them together into his lab, she had mostly expected—made her contingency plans—for Isobel to encourage her to forget what she saw. And the temptation is there—to make copies of the key; to sneak in when she knows it’s empty; to break all sorts of trusts to scratch the what if at the back of her mind. What if there’s some secret hiding away to help Rosa? To help Mimi? To protect her father?

A couple miles away and a hundred feet underground, Michael thinks in what ifs too. Alex and Kyle are right to want someone to have the ability to check in. Project Shepherd may have been an illicit operation, but operatives could still be out there. Employees from Caulfield looking for revenge. Other aliens like Noah. What if Liz can’t be trusted after all? He’ll change the locks, of course, once Alex and Kyle come home. Whatever damage she can do in the interim they’ll have to deal with one-on-one.

He’s almost looking forward to it. Secrets and science both, Michael thinks that Liz Ortecho just might be his best match.

--

Day one, Michael doesn’t even notice the bulk of it pass. It’s stuffy and hot like a forge in his underground lab because one of his fans got busted. The heat should be unbearable. He already wasted half the day moving temperature-sensitive items to his much-less-secure trailer, so he should be worn to the bone with anxiety. But mostly he’s just glad to have something to do with his hands, something to do with his brain. He strips off his sweat-soaked white shirt, knots his hair on top of his head, sets his tongue between his teeth, and gets to work.

It’s an okay day, all things considered. He straddles his stepladder to get at the right angle to reach the back panel, and with a few awkwardly-angled cranks of his wrench, the fan comes back online with a crunch. He falls back against the wall and lets out a whoop of relief as stale but moving air teases the tiny curls that have escaped from his bun to cling to his neck. Satisfied, he grabs his phone from the nearby worktable and snaps a few selfies. Himself, flush with triumph and the haloed halogens of his bunker, smudged with grease and his own honest sweat, his hand sliding suggestively through the trail of hair on his abdomen.

Neither Alex nor Kyle respond, and when Michael pulls himself out of his hole in the ground to look for a shower, the sun hasn’t even finished setting.

Alex could be driving if he and the guys decided to have a night out, Michael thinks while he soaps himself up mechanically. Or at a restaurant, a bar, somewhere where he wouldn’t be looking at his phone. Kyle is definitely busy, definitely surrounded by people he wants to impress. It was stupid to even send the pictures in the first place. Michael ducks his head under the spray and turns it straight to cold and doesn’t step out until his knees start to shake.

Bare-skinned and shivering in the chilly night air, he wraps his arms around himself, but he just stands staring at the wide, soft bed the three of them share. Using the shower or the kitchen as a tool is one thing, but the bed, the couches, all the spaces where life takes place—it feels like Alex’s first, then Kyle’s history, something they share together. Without either of them there it doesn’t feel right.

Fighting down the anxiety beating wings against his ribs, he wrestles into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and stalks outside, across the ground to where his Airstream stays parked almost all the time, these days.

The moment his back hits the bunk, he knows he’s made a mistake. It would feel a little like grief, a little like loneliness, to wrap himself up in a duvet meant for three and try not to scream into the silence. But here, in the one place that’s been something like a home to him, he can’t breathe at all. No one echoes off these walls but him. He knows with the heart-attack certainty of himself a half-decade past that if he closes his eyes he’s gonna wake to an American flag and a hole in the ground.

He scrambles out of bed, bruises his knees on the metal sheet floor. He spends the night sleepless in a corner of the lab.

--

Day two, Michael gets a dozen or so texts, a half-dozen unanswered calls. Not that he’d know; he left his phone under the bed, so the weight of silence didn’t hit so heavy. He takes Isobel out for lunch because if she sees him she won’t freak out if he doesn’t answer his phone all day.

Kyle rolls his eyes every time he’s sent to voicemail and decides not to worry. It’s not unusual for Michael to bury himself in the lab, and it only makes sense that he’d be even worse about it with no one to keep tabs on him. Everything will probably be fine.

Alex almost hits the city limits before he takes a deep breath and decides to turn back around. Someone would have called him if there was trouble; Michael would be mortified if Alex burst in like the world was ending just because he forgot to check his messages. He’d blame himself for “ruining” Alex’s vacation.

Everything will be okay.

--

The knock comes first, then the key scrapes in the lock at three a.m. on the third night. The numbers and diagrams have just started swimming off the page.

“Don’t be dead, Michael,” Liz calls down. “One undead alien per town is definitely more than enough.”

The smell of fresh fries and boozy milkshakes precedes her down the ladder. Her eyelids look as dark and heavy as Michael’s feel. He drops his pen and goes over to take the drinks from her before she falls and breaks her neck and finally gives Max a reason to take him out.

“What are you doing here, Ortecho?”

She snags her shake back from him and takes three long gulps before she answers. “Electricians kicked me out at the hospital, and I didn’t have anything delicate enough in progress to give me an excuse to stay. I figured I’d find you here. If I have to take a break then so do you.”

“Says who?” Michael says, already digging in to the fries and flying sauce. Turns out it’s probably been even longer since he’s eaten than it’s been since he slept.

“Says Earth rules, obviously.” She wobbles a little big, and Michael shuffles over to clear a spot where she can sit.

“Oh, Earth rules. My bad. The ‘mad science’ pages were missing from my orientation packet.”

“Damn. They just can’t get anything right these days, huh?”

“I’ll drink to that.”

They knock their Styrofoam cups together, and Michael says a silent toast to understanding.

--

Liz is a good friend—or the kind of person who tries to be, which is just about the closest thing Michael has ever had to the real thing, and more reliable to boot. Isobel is always, incontrovertibly, Isobel; Max is something else entirely. He and Maria, they were a mistake made twice over, and it makes it hard for them to share a space these days, but there will always be an understanding there between them that once made them think they’d be good. Michael has a support system now, after all those years alone. He has his people, people who care about him.

Alex hasn’t even been gone a week, and none of it is enough. He’s got feet crawling under his skin; he’s got the shakes like an addict, and Michael knows from addiction. More desperate than he’d been that first night, he roots around in their bed for a little hair of the dog, but no amount of secondhand scent will ever be a strong enough hit. He stretches out one of Kyle’s tight henleys and curls up like a dog in front of the empty fire with only Alex’s leather jacket as a blanket. Sleep never comes, or it comes in bare, panicked snatches. There’s nothing to dull the scratching in his skull, not the booze, not the acetone, not the grasping hands of a stranger.

There’s just him, and he’s less than nothing in the yawning face of loneliness. Always has been.

Is the specter of pride enough? Kyle’s uncomplicated, unselfconscious excitement for the progress Michael has made? And Alex—Alex is so steady, so strong, Michael can still feel him all around him, and it should be, should be—

But Michael has never been good on his own. Never been good enough at ignoring all the clamor and chaos in his head, the whispers that they’re never coming back, that Alex’s unit could be compromised, that Kyle’s all alone in a crowd and it’s not safe, that without Michael there to stand at heel they could get hurt in so many stupid, accidental ways.

Michael whines and grinds his face into the rug. The muscles of his back twist and twitch as he tries to flex out the tension pulling him apart. He could call Alex. Wrap himself up in his warm, vital voice, in the sound of his breathing. It would be a few moments of relief. But Alex deserves better. He deserves to be able to take a few days to meet up with people so important to him without worrying that Michael will hurt himself or piss on the floor.

He’s not even sure what day it is. He’s been afraid to look at his phone, afraid to see that less time has passed than it should, afraid he’ll be weak and have Alex ringing on the other line before he can stop himself.

For most of his life, Michael has been a staple at the Roswell branch library, a tourist in every section and a local in some. Science fiction, of course, and physics, astrophysics, and psychology. He found himself in books, tried for a while to therapize himself when there was no one else who could or no one else who cared. Codependency, trauma, abandonment, avoidance, he has the words for the things raking at his insides, but no way to make it stop.

His burning mind gives out just as the sun comes up, and he falls asleep with his arms covering his head.

--

It could be the fourth day; it could be the fifth. Michael thinks counting would be pathetic. He wraps himself in a heavy old quilt and sits in the weak morning sun, searching for peace. His hands ache for the weight and feel of silken smooth wood; his mind aches for the quiet. But that phantom pain is too old now to inspire any self-pity.

He folds one hand over his heart. Clutched in its palm is a battered black-and-red pick, one its owner never noticed was missing from its stolen case. Over the last decade, he never buried it with the other memories that hurt too much. He wore it over his heart instead, like dog tags. It centers him now, like it has before, when it was less than a splinter of hope that he’d ever get to have what he has now.

Alex will be home in a few days. He can make it that far.

He’s made it longer and longer before, after all.

--

On the sixth day, a car pulls up to the cabin. The day is dark gray; it’s probably morning still, but Michael’s internal clock wishes he could crawl back into bed. It’s quiet; the car’s approach barely pricks at the edge of Michael’s hypervigilant hearing. It drops dread into his stomach; he doesn’t feel like dealing with Max or Isobel today. Doesn’t feel like much of anything, really. He feels how he thinks being sick must feel, and he’s so sapped of energy that standing barefoot in the kitchen eating dry cereal is a Herculean effort.

The footsteps on the stairs make an uneven beat, but they’re firm and steady. There’s a jingle of keys, then the catch of the lock, and

And Michael can’t breathe, he sways forward and only just catches himself with a hand on the counter, flinging his bowl into the sink so he can wrap the other arm around his middle, and

“Guerin?” Alex call into the cabin, his voice light and warm and happy to be be home and oh god

Michael’s mouth opens and closes, but no words come out. He clutches at himself; he rubs his hands over his own arms like he can prepare his touch-starved skin for someone else’s touch. He gulps down enough oxygen to feed his brain. He turns on the water to hide the sound. He composes himself before Alex follows it to him.

“There you are,” Alex says from the doorway. There’s a smile in his voice; his footsteps are eager as he crosses the room. He leans his hip against the cabinet and bends in to look at Michael’s face through the curtain of his hair. He’s not smiling now. That little line has appeared between his brows. His arms are folded, and his thumb runs back and forth in the crook of his own elbow. Michael grits his teeth, ducks his head, and his knuckles go white on the countertop.

Even so, his voice comes out gruff but normal sounding when he says, “You’re back early. Everything all right?”

“Mm, yeah. Fisher had some sort of emergency and a few of the others took it as an excuse to break early. Reconnecting with the guys is important, but it’s not easy for everyone, you know?”

“Fisher ok?”

“Oh yeah, it was just his…ferret, or his car or something, and—Look, Guerin, look at me.”

The small part of Michael that likes the hurt because it’s familiar holds him still, waits for the kick. What he gets instead is Alex speaking again, impossibly soft, “May I touch you?” A single, jerky nod, and then the pad of his thumb touches the sharpest part of Michael’s jaw. His palm follows it, a broad, gentle stroke against the side of Michael’s face that sets him shaking, all of him, lips and hands and knees.

Like he can’t help himself, like it’s all he’s ever wanted, like it’s basest instinct, Alex’s other hand mirrors the first, cupping all of Michael’s mind between them, gentling him and pulling him forward so their foreheads press together.

“I missed you,” Alex says. Their breaths mingle together, and it’s enough to keep Michael’s lungs working.

“Oh yeah? That sucks. I barely even noticed you were gone,” Michael pants. Alex’s shaky laugh is everything, so he leans in and devours it, bites at his mouth, sucks at his tongue. Alex lets him work, eggs him on with gasps and groans and fingertips teasing the aching roots of Michael’s hair.

Finally, after Michael’s kisses have gone all sloppy and slow, Alex pulls him back and holds him still and says, “Are you ready for me to tell you what you need?”

God yes. Please. The words alone are almost enough to get Michael floating.

Alex grips the scruff of Michael’s neck heavy and Michael keens soft and whiny and pathetic, choking on air and desperation. It’s not enough, this single point of contact; he wants to be collared, full-body, and kept, and owned. Leashed so Alex always knows where to find him, even if some deep-down instinct tells him to go chasing. Tagged so any goddamn stranger who picks him up knows he’s not for them.

“You’ve been neglected this past week, haven’t you, Guerin?” Alex asks, low and dangerous against the shell of his ear. Michael tries to shake his head—tell him no, no, it’s not possible, it’s all okay now that Alex is here—but Alex is holding him too tight for him to get any traction.

Alex grips him tighter, and his trembling thighs give out.

“You look good down there, but that’s not what I had in mind for you today. And I had a long time driving back to think of how I’m going to make it up to you.”

“Anything. Anything you want, that’s all, I don’t care—”

“Shh, I know. I know. You’re so good to me, Michael. And because you’re so good, here’s how it’s going to be: you’re going to let yourself come, and I’m not going to stop until I think you’ve had enough. That’s how I’m taking care of you tonight—making you feel so good it hurts.”

Giddy fear chases boneless surrender through Michael’s blood—a familiar emotional cocktail Alex inspires in him. Nothing hurts, and it tastes better than acetone at the back of his throat.

He sways forward—almost faceplants into Alex’s crotch, but sure hands divert him to the side and press his face into the hollow of Alex’s hip. The scent there is heady and addictive. Michael’s eyes flutter shut; saliva pools beneath his tongue.

“You get to pick how you want it first and last. What do you want?” Alex says, re-settling his hands firmly on Michael’s shoulders.

There’s only one real answer. Michael pulls back just enough to look Alex in the eye, though it makes his body cry out to be back curled against the warmth of Alex’s thighs. Holding that safe, dark gaze, Michael grinds the heel of his hand into the flannel-covered bulge of his cock and drop open his bruised-red mouth.

Alex grins at his reaction, satisfied, knowing. He presses his thumb to Michael’s tongue; the eager muscles at the back of his throat work to swallow around nothing at all.

“I thought that might be your choice,” he says, “But first, undress us both. I want to feel you—all of you.”

Michael presses a grateful, worshipful kiss to the inside of Alex’s wrist, tasting the delicate skin there with just the tip of his tongue, before standing up. How does Alex always just know? Michael needs skin on skin tonight; needs to find a heartbeat wherever his hands land without having to search it out through layers of protection. Skin on skin will also make this go much faster; Michael is too raw, too needy for anything else, and his sensitivity will turn painful that much quicker as well. But it’s worth the cost to feel real again.

Michael’s own clothes are disposed of quickly, his pajama pants stripped and launched telekinetically across the room. With Alex, though, he takes his time, and Alex takes his time with him. Michael smooths his palms across the cotton-covered planes of Alex’s chest; he rolls the shirt up slowly and bends to kiss and nuzzle at each new inch of skin revealed. In return, Alex feeds him his fingers one by one, letting him stretch his jaw and taste his fill. Michael traces Alex’s belt buckle with his fingertip; he fumbles a bit at the clasp when the smell of new leather fills his senses. He unties Alex’s laces and sits obediently as he steps out of his shoes. Alex rewards him with a long tease of a kiss.

The sound of Alex’s zipper is thunderous in the quiet room. Michael almost misses the challenge of peeling him out of those tight-tight jeans he used to wear, but this is good too, the looser fit letting Michael keep all his movements dreamy and slow. Next, he rolls off Alex’s underwear, finally revealing his cock—hard and just starting to bead wet at the tip and Michael licks his suddenly dry lips. But he’s good; he won’t lean in and drink his fill until he’s given permission.

“Excellent, Guerin; you did so well,” Alex says against his lips. Michael moans weakly at the touch, at the praise. It’s hard to walk as Alex leads him to the bedroom, where Michael kneels beside the bed as Alex follows the methodical steps to care for his leg. Then finally, finally, Alex spreads his thighs and welcomes Michael in between them.

There’s a reason this is one of Michael’s favorite things, and it’s this: with Alex’s hands in his hair, his head settled in the cradle of Alex’s hips, the whole world melts away. There’s no sound from outside the window; there’s no exposure in the back of his mind waiting to jump at new hands on his back. The whole world is right here, in the barest rhythmic flex of Alex’s hips, in Michael’s own sounds of pleasure. There’s only one taste, only one scent, and it’s heaven.

Alex indulges him for a while, long enough to build up a friction-heat in his soft palate and coat his chin with drool. “This is about you,” he says, “So you can come as many times as you want. But you can’t make me come just yet.”

Michael whines in disappointment but doesn’t protest. Alex always gives him what he needs. He feeds his dick back into Michael’s throat and lets it rest there until Michael brings himself to his first orgasm of the night. In the aftershocks, Alex pulls him in close and whispers love against his skin. Michael drifts in the waking sleep of Alex taking care of him. Here, he can be as small and safe as he needs, feeding the trust that’s always been there between them and has at last been watered and brought to light until it’s big enough to hold them both.

The day goes on, nothing but the two of them and their bodies twined together. For Michael’s second orgasm, Alex takes him hard while Michael clings to the headboard and arches all the way off the bed, begging in snatches of a half-dozen languages he only learned so he could be filthy. Third, he keeps himself still, keeps himself good, lying there and taking it as Alex sucks him down and past the point of raw pain.

“I want one more out of you,” Alex says afterward, rubbing soothing circles into Michael’s chest. It’s too much, it’s going to be too much, but Michael’s toes still curl and he’d be purring if it was possible. If Alex says he can do it, he can do it.

So Michael goes onto his belly with his knees beneath him, ass lifted and presenting as Alex fucks him like something precious. Michael’s eyes blur with tears; his head is swimmy and light. Everything aches; everything in him feels like new, like being Alex’s again.

--

He sleeps for a while. Heavy and good. Alex stays beside him the whole time and gets through a solid few chapters of a book he’s been meaning to read, until his own eyelids grow heavy and he succumbs to the living temptation that is Michael Guerin warming his bed.

They have things to talk about tomorrow. No matter how much it’s wanted, needed, or deserved, it’s too hard for them to be apart after everything they’ve put themselves and each other through. One day this codependency will become a far uglier thing.

But those are thoughts for tomorrow, and healable ones. Right now, he finds himself falling asleep next to Michael made fucked-out and fluid, and there aren’t any other thoughts that matter.

#roswell new mexico #alex manes #michael guerin #malex #content warnings: #descriptions of addiction and withdrawal (though no character actively experiences withrdrawal or substance use) #fear of abandonment #codependent behavior #and just a general warning for michael's mental state tbh he's in pretty bad shape but he gets better #kyle is only mentioned in this fic; it's still a part of my mylex series but if mylex isn't your thing you can still read and enjoy it #please let me know if anything else needs to be tagged

[secret-rendezvous1d]

tfln masterlist; #200 - #299.

it’s been a long time coming, i know, but i’ve finally gotten around to creating a mobile masterlist for my text prompts. making things a little easier for you all to access them. a huge, huge thank-you to @life-is-just-better-in-pyjamas for collecting all of the links and sending them to me; you’ve been an absolute sweetheart and i am truly grateful for everything you’ve done in regards to my text prompts.

they’re split into different posts (which i greatly apologise for) because, i think, tumblr gets a little overwhelmed with the amount of links that are in one post - which sucks because it would be a great deal of help to have them all in one place. frustratingly, after spending hours trying to find them, a few of my posted tflns have been deleted unexpectedly (thank you, tumblr!) which sucks hard.

if there are any issues then let me know. requests are always open for these prompts.

#200 - the one where the kids have been asking to see their grandfather.

#201 - the one where harry needs advice for his first time.

#202 - the one with the magazine covers.

#203 - (littlemix!au) the one where yn is asked about him in an interview.

#204 - the one where connor is concerned.

#205 - (singleparent!harry) the one where anne picks up asher from school.

#206 - the one where the missus burns her cakes.

#207 - the one where rose and darcy argue in the group chat.

#208 - the one where harry doesn’t know what to buy alfie.

#209 - the one where the missus stains his sheets.

#210 - the one where they discuss punishments for darcy.

#211 - the one where alfie borrows the car.

#212 - the one where harry argues with darcy.

#213 - (littlemix!au) the one where gemma congratulates yn on ‘glory days’.

#214 - (alternativeuniverse!harry) the one where harry finds out yn is bisexual.

#215 - the one where gemma starts an awkward encounter.

#216 - the one where harry wants the missus to go to la with him.

#217 - the one where the missus gets frustrated with gemma.

#218 - the one where the missus sends photos and harry cuts his meeting short.

#219 - the one where the missus it out with her mother and harry has a raging boner.

#220 - the one where persephone tells her mother about her marital problems.

#221 - the one where the missus is passed her due date.

#222 - (college!harry) the one where they’re worried about their future.

#223 - the one where the missus sends cheeky christmas outfits to harry.

#224 - the one where rose and darcy gossip about their boyfriends.

#225 - the one where harry’s in la and she’s in new york.

#226 - the one where harry doesn’t know what pads to get.

#227 - the one where the missus is overdue and harry is scared.

#228 - (alternativeuniverse!harry) the one where the harry is yn’s first boyfriend.

#229 - the one where the missus surprises harry for christmas.

#230 - the one with the bathing suit photos.

#231 - the one where persephone takes his car and he gets frustrated.

#232 - the one where rose wants to come home from school.

#233 - the one where rose and darcy are in ibiza.

#234 - the one where gemma receives the missus’ naughty texts messages.

#235 - the one where harry lets too much information out.

#236 - the one where lingerie makes harry all hot and bothered.

#237 - (actor!harry) the one where they’re on a break and she sees dunkirk with a friend.

#238 - the one where harry freaks out over his missus being out with another man.

#239 - the one where darcy got drunk.

#240 - the one where things get flirtatious.

#241 - (alternativeuniverse!harry) the one where alfie comes out as gay.

#242 - the one where the missus wants to get a persephone-related tattoo.

#243 - the one where harry has a bad encounter with a fan.

#244 - the one where harry drinks tea with anne.

#245 - the one where they argue about holiday locations.

#246 - the one where the missus is upset with harry.

#247 - the one where hate gets tough.

#248 - the one where harry gets jealous.

#249 - the one where they talk things over.

#250 - the one where harry worries that the missus doesn’t want to be with him anymore.

#251 - the one where persephone won’t stop crying.

#252 - (actor!harry) the one where harry is on tour and the missus is home with a poorly newborn.

#253 - the one where the missus gets manhandled.

#254 - the one where harry and te missus plan a trip away together.

#255 - the one with the knock knock jokes.

#256 - the one where harry is busy so she spends time with louis.

#257 - the one where harry wants the missus to send naughty pictures.

#258 - (littlemix!au) the one with the music video for ‘touch’.

#259 - the one where the missus is drunk and horny.

#260 - the one where the boys hear the missus and harry having sex.

#261 - the one where the boys tease them about how loud they were.

#262 - the one where the missus’ nudes leak.

#263 - the one where reunion sex is interrupted.

#264 - the one where they’re still in the ‘puppy love’ stage.

#265 - the one where she’s in la with their daughter.

#266 - (author!yn) the one where yn has a bestselling book.

#267 - (alternativeuniverse!harry) the one where yn is stressed out.

#268 - the one where the missus is babysitting.

#269 - the one where one of the boys takes his phone.

#270 - the one where they fight and break-up.

#271 - the one where harry drunk texts the missus.

#272 - the one where the missus gets crowded in a store.

#273 - the one where rose becomes ill whilst the missus and harry are away.

#274 - the one where the missus babysits gemma’s daughter.

#275 - (alternativeuniverse!harry) the one where harry wants yn’s number.

#276 - the one where lou puts a snapchat up.

#277 - the one where the missus gets dehydrated.

#278 - the one where harry likes what the missus is wearing.

#279 - the one where harry is away and the missus is staying in holmes chapel with his family.

#280 - the one with the bad cramps.

#281 - the one where the missus is seen with a guy after their break-up.

#282 - the one where they’re craving each other.

#283 - the one where the fans send hate to the missus.

#284 - the one where the missus doesn’t answer him.

#285 - the one where harry meets bear payne.

#286 - (youtuber!missus) the one where yn has her first meet and greet and harry releases ‘sign of the times’ for all the world to hear.

#287 - the one where harry sends flowers home.

#288 - the one where the missus takes persephone out on a girly-day with anne and gemma.

#289 - the one where they can’t say goodbye to one another.

#290 - the one where they’re in difference areas of the house.

#291 - the one where harry forgets a condom.

#292 - the one where harry looks after alfie and persephone on his own.

#293 - (bestfriend!harry) the one where they have a friends with benefits pact and he gets possessive.

#294 - the one with persephone’s stolen top.

#295 - the one where harry looks good in spain.

#296 - the one where alfie and darcy argue.

#297 - the one where the missus sends him naughty photos.

#298 - the one where the missus’ self-esteem is low.

#299 - (teendad/xfactor!harry) the one where harry asks how amelie is.

#tfln masterlist 3 #200 to 299 #one direction preferences #one direction imagines #one direction texts #harry styles imagines #harry imagines #harry styles blurbs #harry styles concepts #harry concepts

[raganandhersurveys]

5/21/21~5000 question survey 201-300 {CXVII}

This has been in the drafts for far too long lol

201. Put these creatures in order from what you would least like to be reincarnated as (1), to what you would most like to be reincarnated as (10) assuming reincarnation ended up existing AND you were given a choice: caterpillar, house dog, wild dog, vulture, male human, female human, oak tree, rock, manta ray, dolphin 

~female human, dolphin, male human, house dog, manta ray, wild dog, caterpillar, oak tree, vulture, rock

 202. What do you feel unworthy of? 

~sometimes i feel like i don’t deserve the love that people give me. but i definitely don’t dwell on that thought 

 203. Would you rather be remembered for having done something for humanity or being a really nice person? 

~doing something for humanity; that effects more people 

 204. Which do you value more: science or intuition? 

~honestly depends on what it is haha. i lead with my heart more than my brain sometimes 

 205. Your best friend and your significant other are in the hospital at the same time with the same ailment. Who do you visit first? 

~...... i hate questions where i have to choose one person over another, i can’t choose 

206. Does the universe revolve around human beings?

~lol nope we exist in it just like everything else. we took it upon ourselves to feel as though we are superior 

207. If you are no longer a virgin, do you wish you still were?

~no, that thought has never even crossed my mind

208. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now?

~i rlly don’t know that many poets 

209. What is your favorite song from the 90's? 

~my heart will go on~ celine dion; stereotypical ik but like i love that song

 210. If you were in alphabet soup what letter would you be? 

~the r ofc:)

 211. Do you believe in fairies, ghosts, aliens, angels, dwarves, elves, etc.?

~i definitely believe in angels. as far as aliens and ghosts are concerned, i for the mots part believe in them but i am a little skeptical and someone can be a dwarfed person so i believe in that too, but the elves and fairies are a no go. 

212. What makes you want to be someone’s friend? 

~if we have similar interests, if they’re funny, kind, if they’re open minded and deep, and like to eat food a lot because i sure do

 213. Do you troll around the Internet harassing people anonymously for fun? 

~bahaha i have a life lol 

 214. Have you ever seen the movie A Man Who Fell to Earth?

~nope

 215. What is your favorite line from a movie? 

~”ughhh! as if”

216. What's your favorite video game? 

~i don’t rlly play video games lol

 217. Have you ever taken something that wasn't yours? 

~yeahhhhhh

 218. What is one phrase people say that irritates you?

~”we love that”

 219. You allow strangers to read your diary, but would you let your parents read it?

~lol never

220. Hot steamy bubble bath or quick in and out shower?

~depends on my mood. if i have something to do i’d obviously choose the shower lol

221. Are you allergic to anything? 

~nope

222. What is your favorite Terminator movie?

~i don’t rlly like any of them

 223. What is your favorite fast food?

~chick-fil-a!!!!

224. What would someone have to do to get you to never speak to him or her again?

~cheat on me or hurt someone i love

225. Would (or have) you ever whip someone or be whipped by someone in bed? 

~i have never and will never whip or be whipped in bed hahaha

 226. Have you ever said 'I hate everyone' and really meant it literally? 

~lol no

 227. Why do some people want to get more money than they could ever spend?

~greedyyyyyyy oooh. money is also an addiction i feel like; for some people they will never have enough 

 228. Have you ever won a carnival fish?

~:((((( no

229. Did it live more than a week? 

~^

 230. What's the best sounding accent a person can have? 

~i love a spanish accent or italian/bostson accents too 

231. What's the most boring thing you've ever read? 

~some book for school probably 

232. Do you prefer buttons or touch screens? 

~ig touch screens

233. Do you think there is a lot of similarity between the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings series? 

~there rlly is but they’re worded differently because they were written in such different times. i enjoyed both but i love lotr. 

234. Would you consider yourself to be naive?

~in some regards, yes 

235. Which of your friends is most likely to go to jail?

~andrew 

236. What is the smallest amount of money that could be in a public toilet that would make you reach in and grab it?

~honestly if it was a $20 dollar bill

 237. Would you ever wear real fur?

~no

238. Arachnophobia or Eight Legged Freaks?

~huh?

239. What are your feelings about police officers? 

~not all of them are bad. Yes there are corrupt ones but can’t any career have corrupt employers? I would feel safer having them than not so I do not support the whole ACAB movement

 240. What is your favorite line from a song? 

~i have no idea lmao like my mind went totally blank

 241. Is fifty dollars a lot of money?

~to me yeah haha

242. Do you like the band Front 242 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Front_242)? 

~i’ve never heard of them

243. Would you rather have fame, money, or self-satisfaction? 

~self-satisfaction

244. What's your middle name? 

~alexandria

 245. What is the absolute limit, the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

~probs pee in a public place 

246. Are you good, evil or neutral?

~i’d say neutral lmao

 247. Should ebonics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebonics) be considered a language?~sure lol 

248. What color is your bedroom? 

~sage green

What color would you like it to be? 

~i want my next room to have just white walls 

249. When are you planning to move to a new home? 

~well i move into my college suite in august 

250. If you added up the cost of everything in the room with you, approximately what would it come out to be?

~well i’m not in my room right now so i have no idea

251. Do you blow your nose in public?

~i try to avoid it but you gotta do what you gotta do

252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps?

~in some ways yes, but in other ways absolutely not

 253. What is the coolest web site you know of? 

~any online shopping place haha

254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie? 

~most of them have already been turned into movies and they aren’t that great

255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic, fair minded, generous, helpful 

~i’d say fair minded overall

256. Can you eat with chopsticks?

~no but i wish i could haha

257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?

~most likely no

258. What do you think about school uniforms?

~i’m so glad i went to a public school and didn’t have to wear one. i love clothes and creating outfits so i’d hate to have to wear the same thing like every day

 259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?

~either egypt or greece

 260. What would make a great new Crayola color?

~do they have a sage green color?

261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art? 

~not necessarily. I feel like it’s hard to do anything artistic like that without a purpose or meaning

 262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration? 

~ariana grande or sza 

 263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country? 

~me lol 

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? 

~i feel like it went to borrowing and to funding the military

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child? 

~i feel like as a child it was easier 

 266. Who knows more...you, or your parents?

~depends on the topic tbh 

 267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing? 

~electric guitar or piano

 268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change? 

~that is not a question for me lol

 269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars? 

~mmmmmm yeah tbh LMAO

270. Are you completely in control of your body? 

~i guess lol

 271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway? 

~i’d love either. sometimes money is the thought for someone but hand picked is so special to 

 272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do?

~in some instances, yes. but then sometimes i’ll feel a random emotion at times. there are times where i’ll just feel really sad and I don’t know why lol 

273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself? 

~both but the songs and books do it so beautifully 

274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product? 

~usually not lol

 275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often?

~i’m always down for a good horror movie 

 276. Does fashion matter to you? 

~yesss! that’s the field i want to enter 

277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else? 

~of course, if not more so 

 278. What do you get in trouble for the most? 

~my mom always says i do things last minute 

279. Should parents spank their kids? 

~you do what you wanna do as a parent

 280. What is your worst daily habit? 

~eating unhealthy foods lol

 281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have canceled?

~pretty little liars because it’s literally knock off gossip girl

282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt?

~definitely salt 

 283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts? 

~not always lol 

284. What do you feel the most guilty about? 

~sometimes i feel like i let people down because some of my decisions still depend on other people (ex: if my mom says no to something that someone asked me to do)

 285. Do you meditate?

~no

286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images?

~i think they can be visions but i feel that most of the time they are random images

 287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way?

~why are so many of these questions about this lmao um it depends if i have a grasp on my emotions in that moment 

288. The thief _______ that everyone steals. What verb would you fill in the blank with? 

~is jealous?

289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had?

~one night a year or so ago me and some friends just hung out but it felt like a movie. we were jamming to music with the windows down and just going crazy; what a time to be alive 

 290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel?

~for sure however i have learned that that is very unhealthy so i usually tend to speak my mind 

 291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it?

~^

292. What is one thing you can't do?

~ride a bike 

293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleton_Heston)? 

~i’ve never seen any of his movies 

 294. Are you gentle? 

~i try to be 

 295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable? 

~when i’m alone and not talking to anyone 

296. Are you trying to find yourself?

~aren’t we all?

297. Where are you looking?

~in my passions and just getting to understand myself in general 

298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings?

~yep

299. What would make you a stronger person? 

~not lettings things that people say get to me and not caring so much of what others think of me 

 300. What book would you like to read sometime soon?

~there isn’t one in particular but i would like to start reading stephen king 

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 50.6 - Balliol, Ox vs Clare, Cam

Now, I’m no historian, but I am a sensationalist. So keep that in mind when I tell you the story of how John I de Balliol, the founder of Balliol College, is partly responsible for the half price Nandos you can now get as part of the Eat Out to Help Out Scheme. If that ain’t a prime piece of clickbait for y’all Millennial followers of this blog, then I don’t know what is.

Our tale begins at some point before the year 1208 (and I’m not being deliberately vague here. His Wikipedia - because you sure as hell know I was not going to do any research beyond that - says that that’s when he was born. That is, they know he wasn’t born in 1208, or any of the subsequent years - and certainly not after 1268, because that’s when he died. And they can probably rule out the years before like, 1168, given the unlikelihood of his having lived to a hundred years old in the thirteenth century. But apart from that they’d be guessing, which they are not wont to do because they, unlike me, are well-behaved historians) with the birth (as you probably guessed from the previous parenthesis) of John I de Balliol to Cecily de Fontaines and Hugh de Balliol, Lord of Balliol (damn those thirteenth century names hit different).

It continues in 1223, when John, aged at least fifteen but possibly forty three, or twenty seven, married Dervorguilla of Galloway (again, my lord what a name. I could do a whole five hundred words on that name alone, but I’ll spare you, because we’ve got a lot of other things to cover). By the mid-thirteenth century (I’m aware that’s the third time and this is the fourth that I’ve said thirteenth century so far, but there’s really no other way to say it, unless I went for 1200s, which I wouldn’t respect as a choice) his wife had become extremely rich (#GirlBoss) mainly as a result of inheritances from her family (um, generational wealth can still be feminist, still #GirlBoss?) and this big pile of Gold allowed Balliol to play a prominent role in public life (hang on, despite it being her money he was the one to reap the rewards of the money she herself hadn’t even earned? #ItTurnsOutTheConceptOfAGirlBoss WasADifficultOneForThirteenthCenturyElitesToGrasp)

Balliol would become mates with King Henry III, and he got up to loads of hijinks in his role as Special Advisor to the King, including being captured and then escaping at the Battle of Lewes. His Wikipedia for some reason then lists some random people who owed him large amounts of money, but he may or may not have used this money (some 123 marks from Thoma de Musgrave alone. Now how do they know that but they don’t know the year Balliol was born?) when, following a dispute with the Bishop of Durham, he agreed to set up a scholarship for people studying at Oxford. This would later result in the foundation of Balliol College, with Devorguilla (which is a Latinisation of the Gaelic Dearbhfhorghaill by the way. I’ll stop there, don’t worry) making further donations once he had died.

That’s all very well and good, I hear you say, but what on Earth has it got to do with my butterfly chicken? I’m getting there, don’t fret. 

So, when John’s parents died, he inherited the family estate (he had quite a bit of generational wealth too, it turns out. Bloody generational wealth). His family estate happened to be one Barnard Castle. Now, Barnard Castle still stands today, although, following the death of King Richard III, who had inherited it through his wife (yass, Queen) it fell into ruin. Fastforward more than five hundred years and Barnard Castle is a popular beauty spot. During the Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020 (of which I am sure you are aware), Special Advisor to the Prime Minister, Dominic Cummings, used Barnard Castle as the site for the most notorious eye test in known history (although, who knows whether John Balliol had an even more contentious one at some point prior to 1208).

Having already flouted the lockdown which he himself had imposed to travel across the country from London to Durham when he knew he was in possession of the virus, Cummings then endangered his wife and son by using a half hour cruise to Barnard Castle as a test-run for his vision, to check that he was safe to drive, much in the way that you check if it is safe to jump off of a cliff by jumping off of said cliff. 

In order to distract the outraged public from his advisor’s biggest screw-up (yet), the Prime Minister (who, if you can believe it on top of the rest of these revelations went to Balliol himself) embarked on a series of attention-grabbing changes to public policy, which culminiated in the Chancellor announcing that if you want to personally save the economy all you had to do was to go and chow down on some half price poultry. 

There you had it, irrefutable causal links proving my initial hypothesis. Although, don’t try and pick it apart, because it will collapse quicker than the Goverment’s grading algorithms.

Speaking of which, if I had my way there would have been no match for me to review tonight, because having analysed their previous appearances on the show, my algorithm told me that Balliol would win. They won the whole show a few years ago, didn’t they, and Clare have never made it past the quarter-finals with Paxman as host, so it simply wasn’t feasible that they would win (although they did once score 250 points in a loss, which was difficult to account for). Allowing the match to play out normally would have left the possibility that Clare could be over-promoted beyond their ability, so I felt there was no need to play.

However, and fortunately for everyone involved, neither I nor Gavin Williamson was in charge of this episode. Anyway, let’s not bother with the rules; here’s your first starter for ten in Cblliol vs Dlbrf.

First of all, I need to commend both teams on their overall aesthetic. All eight players arrived serving looks in the category of ‘University Challenge Contestant’. Balliol have a contestant called Solenne, which is a name I have only encountered once before, on my good friend (Solène) and Clare have turned up with two mascots, one of which I coudn’t properly make out, and one of which is a freaking green bunny. 

Clare Captain Dunstone, sporting an excellent bubblegum bob, is also studying the first truly excellent subject of the series so far - Cancer Genomics (although its not as cool as when I’d initially thought it to be one, long, indecipherable word like cancegenomics. Who knows what that could be?)

Van Soest, studying Land Economy, which is also cool, but in a boring way, buzzes early on the opener to put the Green Rabbits in the lead. He would take two more impressive buzzes in the opening exchanges as Clare established a 60-35 lead following the first picture round, on trains. Choo Choo. 

Balliol started proving my algorithm correct with a couple of starters in succession, and following the music round, in which we got an idea of what a Tchaikovsky diss track would sound like as Paxman read out quotes in which he slagged off his contemporary’s like a YouTube rapper (my favourite being, of Borodin, ‘his technique is so poor he cannot write a bar without assistance. Bars indeed).

The Oxonians relinquished the lead with a couple of interruption penalties, including one that seemed very harsh, although on rewatching Scholefeld did buzz in three words early. Clare couldn’t capitalise on these errors with enough vigour, and Balliol were soon back on top, though it remained incredibly close. Van Soest chipped in with his fourth ten pointer, but Scholefeld made up for her error and put Balliol twenty five clear with seconds remaining. 

O’Connor guessed dendrite incorrectly on a question that was effectively asking for either a dendrite or an axon, and McKnight picked up the mistake somewhat surprisedly, but Clare couldn’t manage any of the DH LAwrence bonuses, and remained fifteen adrift at the gong. 

Final Score: Balliol, Ox 150 - 135 Clare, Cam

A close game, but quite a low scoring one, though it seemed of a higher quality than the combined 285 suggests. I’ll see you next week for Bristol vs Corpus Christi.

If you enjoyed reading this, though that seems somewhat unlikely given the incoherent ahistory that makes up the introduction, then I have a Patreon here, where I’ll be doing retro reviews of old series if you like the sound of that.

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=16447756&fan_landing=true

#university challenge #bbc2 #balliol #oxford #clare #cambridge #paxman #quizzy mondays

[thelapismoon]

Song recommendations pls

*cackles* Here’s my ongoing song list that I’ve kept since 2016

Good music1. Fade: No copyright sounds2. Centuries3. Floating block of ice4. The fat rat: unity5. Find the pieces 6. Grand finale: studio killers7. Soren’s theme8. Four Heroes9. Mice on Venus10. Sweden 11. Leap of faith12. Stronger than you13. Fight song14. Say goodbye to the holiday15. Children of the night16. Lullaby for a princess17. Bats18. Credits minecraft story mode 419. Soren jazz20. Soren song21. Doctor who theme22. Bad Apple Music box23. Bow ties are cool24. Don’t blink acoustic 25. Time and relative dimension in space26. Haggard27. Camp fire song song28. Minecraftable 29. The diadem 30. Gravity falls theme31. Hedwigs theme32. Counting stars33. Whatcha say remix34. Riptide 35. I will wait36. Oh Ginny37. Mischief managed38. Gold39. Waiting takes time40. Secrets41. Necessity 42. Enchanted43. I open at the close44. The hanging tree45. Renegades46. Wildest dreams47. Neon Pegasus48. What does the fox say49. Safe and sound50. Game of thrones theme51. Pistols at dawn52. Ex’s and oh’s53. Sorry54. Where are you now 55.  Luna’s future56. On the moon thuynder remix57. When I see you again58. Ladybug PV59. It’s gonna work remix60. Moog city61. Maps62. Coffee: Run to me63. Towards the sun Rihanna 64. Dancing in the dark65. Frozen: Elves66. It’s over isn’t it67. Everything stays68. I’m just your problem 69. Abraham’s daughter 70. Eyes open71. Kingdom come72. Most wonderful of nights: feat Luna 73. Aquarius- Within temptations74. Queen of France75. Ride- twenty one pilots76. I’m a star77. Everything’s alright78. From the ground up79. Buying stars80. KING81. Call me home 82. Jump 83. Good little girls bad little boys84. Look up at the sky85. Haunting(haunted house remix)86. 2.7587. Suki no kuimbu 88. C418 Far89. Love like you90. Rurelle war of hearts91. Ghosting92. Echo93. In the dark of the night94. Queen- Stephen Jerzack95. Here96. Coat of many colors97. The plague98. Against the world99. Valley of the dolls100. Hope of morning101. Daughter of the moon102. Heartbeat103. Unknown soldier 104. Waiting for love105. Shatter me106. Ruelle- Monsters107. Megalavonia sans piano108. Smoke and mirrors109. I’d love to change the world110. Villains warriors WIP111. ET Katy perry112. My demons113. Hide and seek114. This will be the day115. This is Halloween116. Life and death and love and birth117. Here comes a thought118. Heathens119. Mcsm soundtrack- Lapis120. The wolf- the cinema121. Miss Jackson122. Dollhouse Melanie Martinez123. Nightmare124. Tag you’re it125. The world is ours126. Ruelle- storm127. More than brains128. Cops and robbers129. Enchanter -dragon age OST130. Once we were- dragon age OST131. Empress of fire132. Francis forever133. Starset it has begun134. I am Lapis Lazuli135. Calls you home 136. I’m so sorry137. Like a vampire138. Partners in Crime139. Wolf in sheep’s clothing140. Stressed out- twenty pilots141. Flares- Newt tribute142. Hall of fame/ The script143. Stronger than you- Chara144. Keaton Henson- You145. Wait for it Hamilton 146. Stay alive- Hamilton147. Destiny Bond148. Cost of the crown.149. Don’t let me down - chai smokers150. Soldiers151. Starry eyed 152. Dragonhearted 153. Car radio- twenty one pilots154. Death by glamour 155. Short hair- Mulan OST156. Blossoms- Mulan OST157. Spider dance 158. This is the hunt159. The battle of Yorktown- Hamilton160. Your obedient servant- Hamilton 161. You’ll be back- Hamilton 162. Youth- troye Sivan 163. Still here164. Move like a soldier165. Something missing166. Who I am167. Marionette doll168. The coven (dark violin)169. Forever and never dark cello170. Fell invincible171.  Rise172. So what?173. Freak the freak out174. Nostalgic dream175. Guns and ships176. Bad apple- the dreemurs undertale 177. I found-Amber Run178. I can do anything 179. Red like roses180. It’ll be okay-mlp181. Mirror mirror 182. Warriors- imagine dragons 183. Monster- imagine dragons 184. Bleeding out- imagine dragons185. Ready aim fire- imagine dragons 186. Dream- imagine dragons 187. Rather be188. Crybaby 189. Castle-Alexandria 190. Haunting191. Girls like girls192. Battle against a true hero fan vocal193. Lost in thoughts all alone ft.Milky194. Asgore’s theme w/fan lyrics195. Once upon a December 196. Something that I want197. Into the open air198. What’s the use of feeling blue199. The call200. We all still die201. La da de202. Mordred’s lullaby 203. Pangur Ban204. Mademoiselle Noir205. Witch Hunt- JubyPhonic206. The game of life207. Hather 208. Orisis 209. Oh no- Maria and the diamonds 210. Death should not have taken three211. Cheshire Cat we’re all mad here212. Alice’s theme213. Zettai unmei mokishuraku 214. Your future is not mine215. Boys will be boys216. Little game-Benny217. Son of a preacher man218. Mine- Peridot tribute219. Rude220. I’m a dead girl walkin221. Meant to be yours222. Snow White and the huntsman: breath of life223. Monochrome no kiss224. Believer-Imagine Dragons 225. Lifeboat-Heathers226. Copycat 227. Unravel228. A female ninja but I want to love229. Ten faced 230. Black fox231. Secrets of Wisteria232. Self inflicted achromatic 233. Alive234. Boulevard of broken dreams235. Lunacy of duke vernomia236. Running with the wolves237. Wine red238. Muzzle of nemesis239. Judgement of corruption 240. Evil food eater conchita 241. The tailor shop on enbizaka242. Donald trump vs Hillary Clinton rap243. All DHMIS songs244. Samurai jack theme song245. Megalomaniac vers. asriel and chara246. Journey of the two mages 247. Seven crimes and punishments248. Master of the hellish yard249. A hero’s armor is always Crimson 250. Youth251. The burn marks on my epiano won’t go away252. The little witch 253. Nephthys shadow254. On the wings of night255. Echo- purple guy version256. Anubis chant257. Feathers across the seasons258. Gypsy bard259. Pretty little psycho260.  I’m only human261. Revolting children262. Escape of Salmhofer the witch263. The weathered head at onigashima264. Purple265. Can the can266. Deja vu- JubyPhonic 267. Saturn268. Keep the wolves away269. The outsider270. Sorry- seinabo sey271. Pistols at dawn- seinabo sey272. Younger- seinabo sey273. Nostalgia by little note274. Still- seinabo sey275. Another brick in the wall-Pink Floyd276. Paint it black277. No one would miss me278. New Americana279. Clean freak280. Ruby twenty one pilots 281. Rainbows282. Mars- sleeping at last283. Back stabber- Ke$ha284. Woman285. Dead hearts286. Lions- Skip Marley287. Pity party288. Little pistol289. Death of a bachelor290. Don’t mess with me- Temposhark291. When you’re evil- Voltaire292. Entropy- Gretina remix293. The spirit of nostalgia294. Secunda- SkyRim295. Attack on Titan opening theme296. Sippy cup297. First aid kit- Wolf298. Savages-Marina and the diamonds 299. The wolf- Siames300. The hoosiers- killer301. Determination- irresistible cover302. My crush was a monster boy303. Look what you made me do304. American Pie305. Out of sight out of mind306. The killers- somebody told me307. It took me by surprise 308. The night309. Teen idle310. Blue lips311. Rasputin312. It’s all over but the crying313. Take me to church314. This is Gospel 315. The ballad of Mona Lisa316. Fly away317. No control318. Sixteen tons319. Gravel to tempo320. Bee and puppycat space song321. Escapism 322. Seeds of the past323. Open up your eyes 324. Bohemian rhapsody 325. Running- Beyoncé 326. Feelings- Hayley Kiyoko327. Dernière danse- indila 328. I’ll run- Pentatonix 329. American Soul330. French seven crimes and punishments 331. Charming332. In my house333. Project Ma334. Rise- Katy perry 335. Flan- Jake Chudnow336. Try to change- Mother Mother337. Team- lords338. Love story- Indila339. Hadestown- Wedding song340. Hadestown- Why we build a wall341. Arsonists lullaby342. Madness- Ruelle343. The ballad of Sarah Berry344. Cool for the summer- Demi Lovato 345. Leave Luanne346. Coraline theme347. Crave- water parks 348. Rose colored boy

#sorry for my shitty middle school songs #I've been waiting a LONG time to show this

[adriennescomingbacktolife]

Adrienne Levi Vs. Zane "Lab Rat" King/Backstage Segment

Author: Me

Terra Skye: Aw, that's sweet. Johnny Vegas: *Puke* Terra Skye: Oh whatever.. And it looks like we've got our next contenders for the Tag Titles, Trent Steel and Zephyr Quinn. An interesting team to be sure. Boy: FROZEN CHICKEN! Johnny Vegas: I'M NOT INTERESTED! Terra Skye: Well I AM! I think that's going to be a great match for the Tag Team Championships at We Are Relentless! Johnny Vegas: Alright...ANYWAY, what next? Oh. This loser again. You figure losing to Tits McGee and some painted up junkies would have taught her a lesson. Hey folks, sit back and watch the funeral of Adrienne Levi. Terra Skye: You’re the epitome of professionalism, Johnny. Johnny Vegas: Thanks, glad you finally noticed. Terra Skye: Right. So to follow up on that, Adrienne Levi continues her quest to become a star here and well, I don’t know how to describe this guy. The pictures don’t do him justice. This Lab Rat King? He looks to be chiseled out of stone. He’s a hulking behemoth and boy is he terrifying. Boy: BEEF! Kelly Carmichael: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, from Clearwater, Florida, weighing in at 135 pounds, Adrienne Levi! The dark haired competitor acknowledges the camera briefly with a curt nod. Kelly Carmichael: And her opponent, making his CARNAGE WRESTLING debut, hailing from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 285 POUNDS, HERE is the LAB RAT KING ...ZANE ...KING!!! The screens display a flickering, static-struck screen with the crowned rat logo, bone-white over a black and red spattered background as the first swelling, synthetic hits of "Professional Griefers" begin playing; when the first heavy stomp of bass in the music strikes, the logo shudders and glitches, electricity running through it from left to right like a broken heartbeat. Below the screens the entrance is flooded with rolling fog cast in blood-red light and white strobe lights that match the beat of the song and of the electric shock waves on the screen. Terra Skye: This is certainly ominous. Johnny Vegas: I like this fella already ...WHOA! Look at this son of a bitch! The Lab Rat King stepped out onto the stage, shackled in collar and chains. He was accompanied by half a dozen security guards - nearly as big as he was but in no way as imposing. King seems nonplussed by his current predicament and instead slowly makes his way down to the ring - staring at Adrienne. His keepers stay with him as he stalks around the ring, his eyes never leaving his opponent. The guards removed his bonds and one who seemed to be in charge prodded LRK into the ring. He snarled briefly towards him and then turned his attention back towards the match. He rolled up and stood tall and erect, double- maybe triple- the size of Adrienne Levi. DING DING!! As soon as the bell rang, Adrienne Levi of all people charged right at the Lab Rat King and slammed a forearm into his chest. He stumbled backwards but didn’t fall. However, if Levi had designs on further offense, they were abruptly ended when she ran right into the right hand of Lab Rat King. At that point, Zane was screaming or gibbering to the point that it was incomprehensible but the message was received as he let out a guttural scream as he dead lifted the smaller opponent into the air and then back down with a vicious chokeslam. The referee was taken aback as Zane seemingly stalked Levi each time she tried to recover. Looming over her like a shadow, he followed her into the corner. Defiant, Levi pushed away. This only incensed LRK. Zane King: Little birrrrrrrrrd!! TIME TO FLY!!!! His eyes were wide open, full of intensity as he grabbed handfuls of her shirt and heaved Adrienne into the air. Her body didn’t hit the mat until it was across the entire fifteen foot length of the ring. Terra Skye: I don’t know what to think of King. We’ve certainly had giants before, but nobody like him. He doesn’t seem human. Johnny Vegas: Whoa whoa whoa, you want me to get HR on the horn? Terra Skye: Shut your mouth, old man. Boy: MEAT SLAPPING MASTODON. This match continued down an ugly path as King dragged Levi to the middle of the ring. It was moments later that King twisted and contorted the young woman, forcing her into his brutal STF submission he calls the Tranquilizer! The facelock wrenched her neck back and as an added insult, he seemingly pried his fingers into her face, trying to tear and rip into it like a rat would. Zane King: Sleeeeeeeeep!!!!! SLEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP!!! Sleeee---AUGGGGH~! The camera zoomed in as Adrienne’s teeth were dug into King’s fingers. That forced a release on the hold but it didn’t look much better for Levi. His reprisal was swift as he dropped an elbow onto her lower back. Soon, he lifted Adrienne in the air for what seemed an eternity. Out of desperation, Levi raked his eyes. She landed on her feet behind him. Seeing an opening, she kicks at the back of his knee. He dropped to that knee, howling in anguish. Adrienne shakes that off and then runs past him, opting to execute an offensive maneuver that hasn’t failed her yet. The crossbody!!! However, it fails her now as King catches her out of the air. If one could see the expression under his mask, he was seething. He twirls her around and absolutely flattens her on the mat with a body slam. Terra Skye: I almost thought she had him there. Johnny Vegas: You’re really milking this. This freak is tearing Levi apart. Say goodbye to this broad. Terra Skye: Did you not take your meds or something? You’re especially stupid tonight. The assault continues as King shoves her back into the corner, raining down blow after blow. Punches, kicks, shoulders as Adrienne looks to be losing the light in her eyes. King is almost hysterical. Zane King: GONNA PUT youuuuu out of your MISERRYYYY!! Whipping her out of the corner, the hulking beast charged in and took a boot bottom of the chin. He nearly tripped over himself from the impact but he stayed up right. He could be seen lifting up his mask slightly to spit out a wad of saliva and blood to the mat. He didn’t look happy as he turned his attention back to Adrienne. By this time, the young lady was perched on top of the turnbuckle. She leapt off … and again King caught her. Helpless in his clutch, she was slammed back first into the turnbuckle before being spun around right into EMPTY, HOLLOW, THUD. The jackknife spelled the end for this encounter as the referee counted the three when King put his boot on Levi’s throat. DING DING DING!! Kelly Carmichael: Here is your winner... via PINFALL, the LAB RAT KING, ZANE KING!! The referee sure wasn’t raising this guy’s hand. And he didn’t seem to care. The bell meant nothing. He went right back to brutalizing Levi. Forcing her to her feet, he shoves her into the ropes and as she rebounds, she is flung into the air. As Levi comes down, she shows some life on the way down, twisting and dropping King with a tornado DDT out of nowhere!! King was down and out momentarily but he was back on his feet quickly. In fact, he was back up and was pretty damn pissed. He was seething, rambling, as the mere notion of her fighting back. Five of the guards swarm him, looking to get that huge collar and chains back around him. He fought them off as if they were mere flies. King was mere inches to getting his hands back on Adrienne who had retreated to a corner - when the sixth guard stuck some type of pen right into the side of veiny neck. King responded by backhanding that guy right in the face, shattering his sunglasses and probably his nose. But that seemed to be something, because all of a sudden, he became rather slow and sluggish. This allowed for his handlers to collar him. Still struggling, he was led away. Levi stumbled forth into the middle of the ring as King still had plenty to say to her. The cameras quickly caught a relaxed expression. But that didn’t last as it turned to wide eyed terror and frenzy as he still managed to struggle against his captors. Terra Skye: Somebody want to tell me who the hell that guy was? We’re hiring literal fucking monsters now? That guy is going to kill somebody! Johnny Vegas: Good good, we gotta get rid of some of this dead weight around here. Terra Skye: Oh, fuck you Johnny. Let that fucker come at you and see how your reactions change...

BACKSTAGE: Don't Stop Believing in Me Adrienne Levi comes through the black curtain into the backstage area. The cameraman catches her struggle down the stairs, favoring the back of her head. Red marks are on her arms and legs and noticeably there is a boot print on her neck that surely discolor her skin in the next few days. She seems distraught after her encounter with the Lab Rat King. The eccentric interviewer Greg Ace is the first on the scene, nearly shoving a microphone in the young woman’s face. Greg Ace: Well, hello there. Greasy apples. Adrienne stops, her expression quizzical in nature. She hadn’t shared one word with this man and yet he seemed to be familiar with her. Greg Ace: Tough loss out there, Adrienne. You’ve yet to find your footing here at Carnage Wrestling. What do you think it will take to get to the next level? Welcome to the old time fun Jamboree! Adrienne Levi: Thanks, I guess. As for your question, if I knew that, I’d tell you. No offense to you but may I? She asks for the microphone and she gets it. Greg walks off and he may have possibly stated, “Jumbo sized cashews fresh off the rind!” Adrienne isn’t affected much by that. She’s sore, short of breath, and had just been in an encounter with the most monstrous man she had ever seen. Adrienne Levi: I don’t know what to tell you. I’m just not very good. And this isn’t a solicitation for your attention. I don’t need any pity, or any of your atta-girls. The summer has been amazing so far. And unlike others, I am not going to get discouraged. I’ll be here as long as you want me here. She paused, wiping away sweat or tears from her eyes but ultimately the anguish of that fight. Adrienne Levi: It was arrogant of me to think that I could make an impact that matters and I’m sorry - but I’ll keep trying. And I’ll face anyone you put before me. Championship caliber athletes, monsters, and everyone in between. Next time around, I've got a partner and I don't know why he picked me. I've got opponents who think I'm a joke. But if there is anything, one small thing that I can ask of you. And I don’t know how many of you there are. But if there is just one person out there that sees this and doesn’t immediately dismiss Adrienne Levi - then I ask you, don’t stop believing in me. Politely she sets the microphone down and limps off camera.

#chaos

[marblefeet08-blog]

Chef Summit 2018

FTC Disclaimer:  This trip was sponsored by Certified Angus Beef® Brand in conjunction with a social media campaign through Sunday Supper LLC.  All opinions are my own.

Earlier this month Alexis and I were thrilled to attend Chef Summit 2018 at the Certified Angus Beef® Brand's Culinary Center.  Chefs from all over North America came to

get hands-on butchery lessons and break down a side of beef,

see the level of dedication and care that goes into producing the Best Angus Beef, and

gain a better appreciation of under-utilized cuts to use for delicious and profitable menu items.

Here is some of the fun that David Dial (Spiced...One Dash At A Time), Cindy Kerschner (Cindy's Recipes and Writings), Alexis and I had while getting to learn side-by-side with the chefs. 

Day 1

The first day was a reception followed by a dinner prepared by the talented chefs of the Culinary Center. 

Because the event started in the early evening, Alexis and I drove up instead of flying.  This allowed us to enjoy a casual drive through the slightly mountainous Kentucky/Tennessee border, rolling horse country of Kentucky, and the bucolic countryside of Ohio.

Tara opened the event with a session about the history of the brand.  Fun Fact: The Certified Angus Beef® Brand all started because a rancher got a flavorless, tough steak at a restaurant.

The brand began as a desire to foster quality beef.  This program was built on a foundation of quality specifications formulated by a meat scientist.  To this day, quality is the key to their pull-through marketing strategy.

Waste not, want not.  The chefs use trimmings from the Meat Lab to create tasty beef sausages. The tasso is a beefy spin on a spicy Cajun ham that we have made at home, and it was my favorite of the bunch.

Melon wrapped with cured beef - the salty and sweet combo worked well together. 

Shut the front door!  Poke-style cap steak on taro chips.  The very rare cap steak was lightly coated with an array of Asian flavors, and the crisp chip brought the texture.  This was my favorite dish of the appetizers, and I'd love to serve this at an Eggfest or cooking demo.

The Culinary Center's Lead Chef, Ashley Breneman (Cutthroat Kitchen, Chopped Grill Masters Napa, and Master Chef), talks us through the variety of dishes that they created for us.

Shaved Teres Major Flatbread would be a fun shared appetizer or an entree.

Pasta made with a luscious smoked chuck roll that was straight up comfort food.

The real show stopper, for me at least, was the Osso Buco-style Beef Short Ribs. I love beef short ribs anyway, but the presentation just makes it that much better. These were fan-freaking-tastic.

After dinner, Matt Shoup and I checked out the Culinary Center's dry aging and meat curing cabinet. They are lucky we brought our small car and not our truck or this cabinet "might have disappeared".

That's the funky stuff!  There was some 55 day dry aged beef in here.

Day 2

We hit the ground running in the Meat Lab the next morning.  I've gotten to experience the Meat Lab once before for Grill Talk but we were only breaking down primals then.  This time we were breaking down a half steer.  

I don't mean that we watched someone break down a half steer.  Each team of 4 or 5 people had our own side of beef to butcher. 

Ain't no party like a Meat Lab party.

The morning session opened with The Science Behind The Sizzle™, explaining how each of the 10 science-based specifications ensures a flavorful eating experience.

I harp on the 10 Science-Based Specifications because they are the important difference between Certified Angus Beef® Brand and other Angus brands.

Then the fun really kicked in! Diana Clark, Meat Scientist, took us through breaking down a side of beef, step-by-step.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated.  What's the best way to get over being intimidated?

To get over intimidation, you jump right in when they ask for a volunteer during the demonstration. And as fate would have it, I got to saw off the bone-in brisket.  I love brisket. 

I did that!  Can you see the brisket flat and point layered in there between the bones and fat? I have to say this gave me a better appreciation for and understanding of that glorious cut of beef.

David Dial got right in there too.

As soon as they showed us a step, we would go back and repeat (or attempt to repeat) that step on our steer.

At the lunch break, I was able to "IRL meet" Chef Gavin Pinto.  One of Chef Gavin's many roles is hosting Certified Angus Beef® Brand's Facebook Live videos like this one about smoking beef.

One of our lunch recipes was Shredded Certified Angus Beef® Chuck Roll Philly Cheesesteak with Parmesan Truffle Fries. 

I was a big fan of the chuck roll this weekend after having it in three different dishes.  It's like a cross between brisket and chuck roast. Beefy, tender, and luscious.

Asian Zing Stir Fry using Certified Angus Beef® Clod with Steamed Rice and Stir-Fry Veggies.

To move the large pieces of beef around, the Meat Lab utilizes a ceiling mounted rail system of suspended hooks.

Diana watching some of her students practicing what she demonstrated.

The class is an experience in understanding where the individual cuts come from and how its location affects the taste, tenderness, and appearance of the beef.  An example of this would be how the chuck eye and rib eye are right next to each other, so the chuck eye is close to the same palatability of the ribeye but usually at a much cheaper price.

First, look at the marbling of this skirt steak!  Second, did you know that the skirt steak is the steers diaphragm? 

Two of my teammates, Matt and JJ, fabricating smaller cuts.

Matt did the Osso Buco treatment to our beef ribs.  I can't wait to try this at home and create a recipe with it.  

After a long day in the Meat Lab, we were treated to dinner at The City Square Steakhouse.

Day 3

The third day started bright and early....well at least early, I'm not sure how bright I was...at Atterholt Farms.  This family farm owned by two brothers is a seed stock program (breeding for other ranches) with 50-80 head depending on the time of year.

This farm has 700 acres for the cattle, feed hay farming, and crops such as soybean and corn.

We learned that raising cattle to earn the Certified Angus Beef® Brand designation is no accident.  I was amazed at the planning and forethought that goes into it. The Atterholts start with artificial insemination.  Here's the quick takes of what I learned about that process:

Ranchers get a bull semen catalog that lists statistics about prospective bulls and their expected progeny differences.  This lets them select the ideal bull for meeting the 10 specifications.

Bull semen costs about $20 a vial which is good for one attempt.

Bull semen can be frozen and lasts indefinitely so it is possible to breed using semen from a champion steer that has been dead for years and years.

The Atterholt's success rate with A.I. is about 60%.  

They target the same calving date each year (during January - March) so about 285 days prior to the cow's last calving date, they attempt the A.I.

The month after A.I. attempts, any cows that go into heat (meaning A.I. didn't take) are placed with a "clean up" bull to attempt normal insemination.

Page from a bull semen catalog. It's kind of like Match.com for cattle.

The tag on the ear has 3 numbers.  The large middle number is the cow's ID# with the first number being the last digit of the year the cow was born (in this case, 2015) and the next three digits are just the order of birth, so this was the 25th calf in 2015.  The top number is the mother's ID# and the bottom is the birthdate.

Expected Progeny Differences are statistics that let the rancher know the genetic worth of a prospective bull and the probable traits of its offspring.

The calf on the left is Ferdinand.  He is a "bottle calf" meaning his mother rejected him and wouldn't care for him so the Atterholts had to bottle feed him, requiring a lot more resources and effort.  Murphy, the dog, loves Ferdinand.

This shot was taken in June....not February.  It was just a cold snap.

After the ranch, the chefs had a session on marketing while we bloggers got a tour of the facilities.

Certified Angus Beef® Brand headquarters has a wonderful set up for their photography and video productions.  The prop closet alone is a food blogger's dream.  

They have kitchens every time that you turn around.  I think they had a total of 4? This is the kitchen that they use for their FB Live videos.

I found out that the Certified Angus Beef® Brand is a great employer to work for.  They have an onsite physician, psychologist, and a lawyer for the staff to utilize for their personal needs! I was seriously impressed.

G-schedules are specifications set out by premium brands for the USDA graders to determine if the beef they are examining meets the premium brand's requirements. There are hundreds of them.  Certified Angus Beef® Brand's schedule is Schedule G-1 because they were the first such program in the country.

Me, Alexis, David, and Cindy in one of the many kitchens.

Cook-off

The last part of the event was the cook-off using the 5 teams.  We had to pick one of the cuts that we trimmed out on Day 2.

Scoring was based on taste, texture, appearance, presentation, and cost-effectiveness.  You also got bonus points for using more obscure cuts of beef.  We went with the mock tender.

We had access to farm fresh produce and anything in the pantries and freezers.

I was on a super-talented team, it was fun just getting to watch them in action and help out. Jorge, Matt, and JJ were rock stars.  I need to learn to cook with their speed and efficiency.

With 5 cook teams, you can imagine the kitchens were crazy busy.

Alexis shredded smoked chuck roll for her team's dish.

We used the mock tender for this Cuban-style tartare with a red-eye gravy aioli, crispy fried potatoes, a sous vide egg, and blue corn Johnny cakes.

I forget the description for this one but I know that it used the inside skirt steak

Smoked chuck roll ragu.  They smoked the chuck roll for 4 hours and then braised it to finish.  This was my personal favorite of throwdown recipes.

Thin sliced coulotte, blackberries, radish, fennell and Fresno chiles. 

The winning dish was Soy Braised Beef Belly Bao Buns with Pickled Cucumbers and Onions.

Here is the costing sheet for our dish.  You can see how using these lesser known cuts really boosts the profitability of a menu item.  Use beef tenderloin instead and you have a much different bottom line.

Before we knew it, the Chef Summit was over and it was time to bid the Culinary Center farewell.

Source: http://www.nibblemethis.com/2018/06/chef-summit-2018.html

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

[surveysonfleek]

350.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 3 201. Put these creatures in order from what you would least like to be reincarnated as (1), to what you would most like to be reincarnated as (10) assuming reincarnation ended up existing AND you were given a choice. caterpillar, house dog, wild dog, vulture, male human, female human, oak tree, rock, manta ray, dolphin rock, caterpillar, oak tree, vulture, wild dog, house dog, manta ray, dolphin, male human, female human. 202. What do you feel unworthy of? success. 203. Would you rather be remembered for having done something for humanity or being a really nice person? can’t i do both? 204. Which do you value more: science or intuition? intuition. 205. Your best friend and your significant other are in the hospital at the same time with the same ailment. Who do you visit first? it’s the same person.

206. Does the universe revolve around human beings? we definitely think so. 207. If you are no longer a virgin, do you wish you still were? nope. 208. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now? i don’t know any poets that are alive :( 209. What is your favorite song from the 90's? ugh there’s so many.  210. If you were in alphabet soup what letter would you be? d. 211. Do you believe in fairies, ghosts, aliens, angels, dwarves, elves, etc.? haha i have no idea.  212. What makes you want to be someone’s friend? if i find some goodness in them. 213. Do you troll around the Internet harassing people anonymously for fun? hell no. i’m not 12. 214. Have you ever seen the movie A Man Who Fell to Earth? nope. 215. What is your favorite line from a movie? - 216. What's your favorite video game? the sims. 217. Have you ever taken something that wasn't yours? yeah, but nothing of sentiment or whatever. 218. What is one phrase people say that irritates you? yolo. 219. You allow strangers to read your diary, but would you let your parents read it? i don’t have a diary. 220. Hot steamy bubble bath or quick in and out shower? depends. there’s a time for both. 221. Are you allergic to anything? pollen. 222. What is your favorite Terminator movie? i don’t remember any of them. 223. What is your favorite fast food? burger king. 224. What would someone have to do to get you to never speak to him or her again? do something bad to me, my friends or family. 225. Would (or have) you ever whip someone or be whipped by someone in bed? haha no thanks. 226. Have you ever said 'I hate everyone' and really meant it literally? yes. well, people in general. 227. Why do some people want to get more money than they could ever spend? idk. greed. 228. Have you ever won a carnival fish? nope. 229. Did it live more than a week? - 230. What's the best sounding accent a person can have? spanish. 231. What's the most boring thing you've ever read? text books from uni. 232. Do you prefer buttons or touch screens? touch screens. 233. Do you think there is a lot of similarity between the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings series? i didn’t follow the lord of the rings series. 234. Would you consider yourself to be naive? sometimes. 235. Which of your friends is most likely to go to jail? at this rate, phi. 236. What is the smallest amount of money that could be in a public toilet that would make you reach in and grab it? $10 lol. so gross i know, but money’s money. 237. Would you ever wear real fur? probably not. 238. Arachnophobia or Eight Legged Freaks? first one. 239. What are your feelings about police officers? i’m sure there’s good cops out there. 240. what is your favorite line from a song? idk. 241. Is fifty dollars a lot of money? yes, it can be. it can buy food for a week. 242. Do you like the band Front 242 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Front_242)? idk them. 243. Would you rather have fame, money, or self-satisfaction? self satisfaction. 244. What's your middle name? haha i’d rather not say. 245. What is the absolute limit, the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? shave my head? idk. 246. Are you good, evil or neutral? i’d like to say good. 247. Should ebonics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebonics) be considered a language? hmm. idk about this one. 248. What color is your bedroom? What color would you like it to be? it’s grey and turquoise. i like it. 249. When are you planning to move to a new home? no idea, maybe when i get my life together. 250. If you added up the cost of everything in the room with you, approximately what would it come out to be? omg i have no idea. 15k? it could honestly be more or less, i’m just guessing. 251. Do you blow your nose in public? if i have to, yes. i’ll try do it subtly though. 252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps? somewhat yes. i want their drive and motivation. 253. What is the coolest web site you know of? idk lol. 254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie? none that i can think of. 255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic, fair minded, generous, helpful fair minded. 256. Can you eat with chopsticks? yeah i prefer not to. 257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit? yeah, we’ve been taught how to at work. 258. What do you think about school uniforms? it’s good in a way, everyone’s seen as equal. 259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit? medieval times. 260. What would make a great new Crayola color? i’m sure it’s already been made. 261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art? yeah it does, but it’s still art. 262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration? beyonce. 263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country? idk haha. 264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? idk. 265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child? no, i was easy to please as a kid. 266. Who knows more...you, or your parents? more about what? if life, definitely my parents. 267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing? guitar. 268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change? i have no idea. 269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars? with protection yeah. 270. Are you completely in control of your body? Are you completely in control of your mind? yes and yes. 271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway? definitely the hand picked ones haha. 272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do? ye[. 273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself? put feelings into words myself. 274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product? haha noooo. especially these damn instagram models and youtubers. 275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often? idk. 276. Does fashion matter to you? yes and no.  277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else? of course. 278. What do you get in trouble for the most? being lazy. 279. Should parents spank their kids? i wasn’t spanked as a kid and turned out fine tbh. 280. What is your worst daily habit? smoking. 281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have canceled? big bang theory. 282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt? salt. 283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts? yeah i’d say so. 284. What do you feel the most guilty about? idk, letting myself do nothing productive for the last year. 285. Do you meditate? no. 286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images? random images in the subconscious. 287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way? yes. 288. The thief _______ that everyone steals. What verb would you fill in the blank with? snatches? idk. 289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had? traveling. 290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel? not really. 291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it? idk. 292. What is one thing you can't do? a cartwheel. 293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleton_Heston)? idk him. 294. Are you gentle? not really. 295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable? when i’m naked. 296. Are you trying to find yourself? yes, definitely. 297. Where are you looking? my future i guess. 298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings? yes but there’s better ways to go about in sharing it. 299. What would make you a stronger person? having more discipline. 300. What book would you like to read sometime soon? anything. it’s been awhile.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[habincha-blog1]

Okay,so for those of you who see this post and play overwatch,check this

CHECK IT

So,DoomFist recently(ish) dropped into the roster,and while you may think that that GIANT TRANSFORMER LIKE ARM is just a really hard punch,no dude no,so as we can tell,its huge as shit obviously,its metal obviously,and as i learned overtime,huge+metal=FKN HEAVY,so chances are that thing has to weigh over his own body weight (witch i can only assume is around 285 to 315 lbs) and if that’s an accurate assumption,that means that his devil arm,has to weigh in at about 450 to 500 lbs including weight,size,and width,indeed thats pretty damn heavy,but the weight and power is not why i dragged you to this post

The.speed.

If you’ve watched his origin story,you would get a scale of how fkn efficient that arm is,thats like a megazord attached to his fkn body,and as im going throgh it,i saw something

He grabs tracer by her warp propeller (idk what its called so imma just call it tht,i havent played OW since like,june)but he grabs her by her warp propeller and rips it tf off,and i dont mean like,one arm pushes while the other pulls,i mean like a ripping the wrapper off of a peice of candy,with total and complete ease,infact with so much ease,he even looked at Winston like “come do sum bout it mr.man,i seeya on your way” and we know our big adorable nerd winston is smart as shit,and he just stops and stares in pure horror like “omfg” the look of total and complete terror and fear,genji is a fkn ninja and he was smashed against the ground in mid air and thrown against a car,tracer warps so fast,she turns into a blue blur.no sonic (tht joke is for sonic fans lol) tracer and freaking warp through time if she needed to so check this out,ive done a little mental math witch is probably way off

So,considering that we only know time moves about as fast as our brain does,we can compare that to how fast tracer was moving

The speed of time clocks in at:300,000 kilometers per second or 186,000 miles per second Now heres some math here or 186,000 miles per second × 450lbs=8.37e+13 No check this out

Doomfist cought tracer almost mid warp,and assuming that tracer was moving faster than time itself,his mind has to work,process,translate,and react,fast than tracer,to catch her and stop any and every force on her,and the worst part is,all he did was slow down and think,he looked in tracers direction,and grabbed her,eyes there first,then hand,then the grabbing motion

This man’s name “doomfist” is no understatement,that arm is hellishly powerful,let alone the power of his fkn mind

Welcome to overwatch everybody,enjoy getting smacked by death’s touch

[thebibliomancer]

100 Days of Comics! 093/100: Fantastic Four #285 (1985)

ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

And today we have a comic that is from John Byrne’s run on Fantastic Four (allegedly good) and from Secret Wars II (allegedly pretty bad). So lets see what we get when we combine the two.

The comic starts with a doctor trying to fill out a cause of death form for a Thomas Hanson. But “third degree burns” is dismissed by her as too easy. And this case isn’t easy.

And then we turn back the clock and meet Thomas Hanson, age 13. His life is kinda bad. He is a huge fan of the Human Torch. So big that the local bully extorts his lunch money for a month and homework until Christmas in exchange for a Celebrity magazine with a huge Johnny Storm article. Which Thomas tries to read in class, only to be caught by the teacher and have the magazine confiscated. She tells him that he needs to shape up and stop being so obsessed and does not return the magazine.

When Tommy goes home, it transpires that he’s a bit of a latchkey kid. His dad always busy at his ad agency and his mom busy with a community action group. There’s a message on the answering machine from his mom basically saying she won’t be home until nearly midnight.

So after trying to contact the Human Torch at Avengers Mansion where the FF is staying after the Baxter Building was blown up so it could be rebuilt bigger, Tommy goes up to the roof of his apartment building where neighbor Joss is messing around with a toy jet plane he’s been tinkering with. It needs some pretty potent fuel though.

Joss suddenly gets called away to work and asks Tommy to put away his stuff. But be careful for that fuel can! “It could turn ya into another Human Torch!”

And then a very ominous panel of a silhouetted Tommy staring at the fuel can. Welp.

We cut to Johnny visiting Reed at the Baxter Rebuilding when -geez Johnny, that is not a great haircut for you, you look like Pete White- when Dr. Janet Darling from the first page shows up to ask Johnny a favor. Johnny makes an ass of himself by asking if she gets teased about her name at work. But since she works exclusively in a children’s hospital burn ward? (oh god)

Anyway, she wants him to visit a patient of hers. The kid has been her patient about a month and is Johnny’s biggest fan (oh goooood) and is dying.

So Johnny flies over to the hospital with Dr Darling and visits Tommy (oh god)

Johnny: “I... hear you got yourself in some trouble, Tommy. How... er... how are you feeling?”

Tommy: “...”

Johnny: “What? What did you say, Tommy?”

Tommy: “...i only did it to be like you...” -dies-

So obviously, Johnny feels like shit. At least partially because the mom immediately slaps him and says freaks like him should be outlawed and the dad yells that he has influence and that Johnny is finished in this city. But mostly because a kid is dead.

He tries to flame on and fly home but can’t bear to fly around on fire setting bad examples. So he takes a cab.

He meets up with She-Hulk, Alicia Masters, and sister Sue as they’re admiring a She-Hulk clay statue that Alicia made. And he tells them that a kid died - poured rocket fuel over himself and lit a match because of him - because he never considered what effect he was having out in the real world. So obviously he’s quitting being the Human Torch forever.

And then because this is a Secret Wars II tie-in, Secret Wars II ties-in. The Beyonder appears in all of his jheri curled glory to tell Johnny he can’t quit because he’s a great force for life!

She-Hulk tries to put him in a full nelson but he just teleports himself and Johnny INTO THE PAST when Tommy was still alive. Reasonably, Johnny takes this as rubbing his nose in Tommy’s death but the Beyonder insists that Johnny brought joy to Tommy’s small, sad life bereft of friends and without true parental love and guidance.

And I guess Johnny takes that to heart??

So we cut back to Dr. Darling filling out the death report and she has gone above and beyond, interviewing the FF and Joss Kincaid. Apparently, this whole comic was the death report. Joss, by the way, is in jail. His toy plane fuel violated every fire regulation. He might even end up charged with negligent homicide.

I can’t believe there was an issue of Fantastic Four about a child setting himself on fire to be like the Human Torch. That’s an SNL joke. That’s an SNL joke played horrifyingly straight.

That’s like the rumor that Johnny was left out of the 1978 cartoon because executives thought kids would set themselves on fire (the real deal was a rights issue).

I suppose that with rumors and jokes like that flapping around, it was inevitable that it would be addressed in the actual comic.

I feel sort of conflicted about the resolution though. It feels like Johnny gets over it too quickly. It feels like the ‘I’m finished. I can’t be the Human Torch anymore!’ moment should have happened at the end. On the other hand, we don’t really need “I quit for reals this time” stories to stretch out. We all know how they end and they usually go the same way. On the third hand now emerging from within my coat, a child set himself on fire. That feels like it would take more than a pep talk from someone you hate and who supposedly doesn’t really understand humanity or pooping to get over immediately.

Big event tie-ins, though. Amirite?

#100 Days of Comics! #Fantastic Four