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sixhours · 26 days

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Firsts - Laugh

Anna’s firsts, a series of fluffy drabbles set in the One Day at a Time universe.

Rating: Explicit, 18+ Series tags: The Last of Us, The Last of Us (HBO), Joel Miller x f!OFC, soft!Joel, no really super soft!Joel, Joel is a sap, smut, smut but no one gets to finish :(, babies are assholes, Ellie is a little shit, use of the terms crotch nugget and vaginal dumpling, ew, fluff, fluffy baby stuff, no really this is sickeningly sweet, tooth-rotting, don't forget to brush your teeth Word count: 1.7k

Notes: Oops, I made it smutty. Sickly sweet with a dash of humor and smut, nary an angsty cloud in sight. Joel thinks of Sarah but it's not sad.

You can also read Firsts on AO3.

~*~

Joel rarely misses the QZ; the crowding, the starvation, the shit-shoveling, the hopelessness that clung to the place like a skunk’s spray. But once in a blue moon, he longs for the kind of anonymity he’ll never find in the commune of Jackson, Wyoming.

Like today, when he’s picking up his share of spring vegetables at the greenhouse after work. Because Marjorie, the nice old lady who lives three houses down, the one who works as a nurse at the clinic, has a message to pass along with his bag of greens.

“Oh, Joel! You’re clear!”

“M’sorry?”

“Your sample! It came back clear,” she smiles, then offers a clarifying stage whisper. “No sperm. Thought you’d want to know.”

He blinks, instinctively looking downward. He’s still wearing pants. This isn’t one of those mortifying dreams he used to get, back when his worst fear was showing up to work with his fly open.

As if it wasn’t bad enough he’d had to walk a cup of his jizz to the clinic in a paper bag and hand it directly to his elderly neighbor.

As if he hadn’t blushed like a school kid when Marjorie had accepted it way too loudly and cheerfully like she couldn’t wait to get the stuff under a microscope.

As if he hadn’t sat on the couch with an ice pack on his groin for two days while Ellie teased him mercilessly about his junk.

But now he’s shooting blanks. And thanks to Marjorie, everyone in the vicinity of the greenhouse—a not-insignificant number of people given Jackson’s tiny size—knows it.

He can’t get out of there fast enough.

He slams his way into the house, kicks off his boots by the door, the bag of vegetables landing with a thud on the counter.

“The hell, dude?” Ellie pops up from the couch, gesturing at the portable crib nearby. “You’re gonna wake your crotch nugget.”

Ellie’s new favorite thing is to find the crudest nicknames for Anna and coo them at her in a sing-song voice until the baby grins. Anna probably can’t hear her, it’s probably just the sheer joy on Ellie’s face every time she does it, but it always seems to work. For all of Joel’s protests, Ellie and her foul mouth can make the kid smile like no one else.

“That’s awf—don’t—don’t call her that,” he winces, checking on the baby, who remains blissfully asleep despite his racket.

Ellie eyes him, his scowl deeper than usual, a flush of embarrassment still creeping up the back of his neck.

“Who pissed in your cereal?”

“No one,” he grumbles. “M’goin’ upstairs.”

“Sure, and leave me with the womb rat.“

“Ellie—“

“It’s fine,” she waves him off, collapsing back on the couch with a dramatic sigh. “Free babysitting, that’s all I’m good for.”

Joel looks to the crib and then pointedly to Ellie, sighing. “She’s asleep. I’m here now. You’re free to go anytime.”

“And miss all this?” she snarks, waving her hand around. “Whatever.”

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, trudging up the stairs.

The bedroom door is closed. He cracks it open and finds Charlie sitting cross-legged on the bed in what she lovingly calls her “tits out” position, breast pump in one hand and a book in the other, frowning intently at her reading material. She barely looks up when he enters.

Her presence in his life still catches him by surprise. Her smaller, softer clothes alongside his in the closet, her flowery lavender soap in the shower, filaments of silver hair threaded into their bedding.

“Hey,” he murmurs, and all his earlier humiliation is forgotten at the sight of her. She looks fucking amazing. Topless, hair mussed, wearing a pair of his gray sweats, bare feet poking out of the rolled-up cuffs, effortlessly comfortable and vulnerable and his . A pleasant heat crawls through his belly and he actually starts salivating like a goddamned dog.

He’s a hopeless case.

A hopeless case who’s shooting blanks.

Maybe this day can be salvaged after all.

“Kid’s nappin’,” he murmurs in a low voice he hopes sounds seductive.

“Hmm?” Charlie says, not taking her eyes off her book. Must be a good one.

“Anna’s out,” he says, unbuttoning his shirt, unable to take his eyes off her as he crawls onto the bed. “The, uh…vasectomy worked.”

“Uh-huh,” she murmurs, chewing on her plush lower lip. Then she blinks, finally turning her attention to him. “Wait, what?”

“Vasectomy worked,” he says easily as he plucks the book from her hand, creases the page corner to mark her place, and sets it aside.

“How do you kn–”

“Don’t ask,” he grumbles, sliding forward and nuzzling at the base of her jaw. “Thought we could celebrate.”

“Oh?” She breathes a sweet little sigh into his good ear as he plants slow, soft kisses down her neck. He gently takes the pump away; it comes off her breast with an audible pop , and he immediately replaces it with his mouth, catching the last of her sweetness on his tongue.

“Ohhhh, that’s ni–wait wait, careful, don’t spill.”

He shoots her a look, then delicately sets the half-full bottle on the nightstand without taking his lips off her.

“Smooth,” she giggles wryly as he laves at her nipple, feeling it tighten against the soft, wet muscle of his tongue. Her laughter dissolves into a moan when his hand cups her other breast, tip slick with milk that he circles and rubs into her skin.

The whole fucking town might know about the status of his vas deferens , but this will make it more than worth it.

Charlie shimmies out of her sweats– his sweats, and she’s not wearing underwear, is she trying to fucking kill him? Or did they run out of clean laundry?

Whatever the reason, his jeans are suddenly painfully tight. He drags himself away and shucks them off, cock aching as it springs free. She’s already sliding down the bed, sliding under him, spreading her legs, touching herself. He wants to lick and taste and suck every part of her, but he settles for a nip to her inner thigh and a kiss to her stomach before he’s covering her body with his, hyper-aware of the tiny human alarm clock ticking downstairs.

Charlie reaches between them, angling her hips, rubbing his cock through her folds, guiding him home. She’s soft and warm as he sinks into her tight, wet grip. They stay like that for a moment, connected but not moving, breathing together, no barriers to dampen the sensation. Finally , he thinks dully. Finally .

“Hi,” she whispers, her soft smile and the achingly hot clutch of her making his brain go fuzzy around the edges until the only response he can muster is a grunt. He captures her lips in his, feeling the blissful wet slip of her in his mouth, the pulse of her tongue at the back of his teeth.

“Yesssss,” she sighs when his hips rock forward of their own volition, one deep thrust in and a slow, agonizing withdrawal that leaves him panting.

“Fuck, baby, so good,” he groans when he’s able to form words again. Not his most eloquent work, but it will have to do, because she’s sucking at his lower lip, swirling her tongue against it, teasing him with little pecks until he growls and threads his fingers through her hair, pulling the strands taut and anchoring her mouth to his.

She wraps her legs around him, urging him deeper, cradling him there. He pins her with his hips and presses her into the mattress, grinding hard against her until she moans, the sound reverberating through his chest and stomach and straight to his groin. A particularly deep thrust has her gripping at his shoulders, blunt nails leaving little marks on his skin.

“Fuck, Joel, right there, right–ahhhh,” she keens.

“Shh,” he pants, soothing her kiss-bruised lips with his, forehead pressed to hers. “Gotta…be quiet. Kid’s…downstairs.”

As if on cue, Ellie’s voice rings up the stairwell, a keyed-up kind of shrill that sends an unpleasant shiver down his spine.

“Joel!”

“Shit,” he hisses.

“Joel! Charlie!”

“We’re coming,” he barks, thinking they aren’t coming—not now, anyway—and that’s a goddamn shame. He plants an apologetic kiss at Charlie’s temple before he’s out of bed and rummaging around on the floor for his boxers.

He yanks on his underwear and flies down the stairs, half out of breath and fearing the worst.

“What? What’s wrong? What happened?”

Ellie is holding Anna, awake and bright-eyed, both grinning with delight.

“She laughed!”

“She–what?” Charlie is at his back now, wrapped in her robe.

“She fucking laughed, dude! C’mon, do it again! Show ‘em!”

Anna smiles and coos, spit bubbles popping at the corner of her little mouth.

“I swear she just did it,” Ellie says. “Come on, bug, let’s hear it. Show your mama and dad what you can do.”

She sticks out her tongue, lightly bouncing Anna up and down until the baby gives a happy little gurgle…but no laugh.

“Ugh, kid, you’re killing me here!”

Joel clears his throat. “Uh, I’m gonna go–”

“Wait!” Ellie cries, eyes lighting up. She pulls the baby close until their noses are almost touching. Her voice is an exaggerated whisper.

“ Vaginal dumpling !”

Joel groans. “For fuck’s sake, Ellie–”

He’s cut off by the sound of Anna’s unmistakable belly laugh, a riotous cackle that wraps its tiny fingers around Joel’s heart and steals the breath from his lungs.

She sounds so much like Sarah that it hurts, but it’s a good pain, a healing pain. The notes carry on the air like a memory set free from somewhere deep and dark and long forgotten.

He wants to hear her laugh again and again and again.

“There it is!” Ellie whoops, bringing him back, anchoring him to the present. “I knew you could do it, ya little crotch goblin!”

She turns to them, smug and pleased with herself. Then she pauses, her grin fading into a grimace as she takes in the sight of her father and Charlie, rumpled and half-dressed.

“Joel? Where the fuck are your clothes?”

Anna’s laugh rings out again, loud and clear and perfect.

#fanfic #joel miller #the last of us #the last of us hbo #smut #babyfic #family fluff #fluff #ellie williams #joel miller x oc

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crazyk-imagine · 3 months

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Ruined Relationships, but the Love is There

Pairing: Mark Sloane x Ex-Girlfriend!reader

Characters: Mark Sloane, Ex-Girlfriend!reader, Kara Sloane, Jackson Avery, April Kepner, Meredith Grey, Christina Yang, Derek Sheppard, George O'Malley, Owen Hunt, Addison Montgomery (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cheating, adultery, ooc peeps, minor cursing, drama (what else would you expect), like a lot of drama, near death experience, classic grey's things going on here, cheating, bad relationships, mentions of pregnancy, keeping children hidden from father, car accidents, reader is a doctor, everyone is in kahoots, Christina is into beating, Meredith and Derek are cute, Bailey is great as always, George is here and lives, no mentions of Izzie or Alex, friendships between Mark and Meredith, plus Mark and Christina, Christina is a secret romantic at heart

Word Count: 4,593

A/N: I feel like everyone is ooc but idc bc I love this fic

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You ignore him, praying to whatever god is listening to keep him away from you.

Meredith and Christina notice the tension in your shoulders, sharing a look.

“You know I don’t care about a lot of people but, are you okay?” the curly haired female asks.

You shrug, acting as if nothing has changed. “I’m fine, why?”

Meredith chimes in. “You’re looking a little-“

“Squirrely?”

“I was gonna go with tense but squirrely works.”

You huff through your nose, “would you two shut up.” You hand the clipboard back to your favorite nurse, Marjorie. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You spin around and walk out, not looking back.

Derek shakes his head, watching you basically run out of the hospital.

Mark glances behind him, not finding who he wanted and sighs. He looks up to see his friend and offers a small wave.

The ferry boat lover nods to acknowledge him.

The plastic surgeon bids the others goodbye and stands in front of the doors, thinking about everything that led him here.

You drive past him without realizing it as he thinks of your face when you caught him in bed with Addison.

His eyes trail on the car, wishing he could see you again and not just glimpses.

You roll your eyes and walk away across the bridge, not caring how unprofessional you look. “I’m not talking to you.”

He picks up his pace, following after you. “Please just-“

You scoff, spinning around to face him, “no, I tried before. I did and then,” you lean forward poking him in his chest, “you decided to stick your dick in someone else. Someone who was married and oh, yeah, not your girlfriend.” You cross your arms, “so, excuse me for not being particularly excited at the sight of you.”

“Fiancé.”

You blink once, furrowing your brows. “What?”

“I was,” he gulps. "I was going to propose to you that night.” He pulls the little black box out of his pocket, handing it to you.

”Before or after you screwed Addison,” you bitterly add, staring at the box. If you open it, that's giving him hope.

"I- she came to me and-“

You scoff hard enough for the vibrations to scratch your throat for a few seconds. “I cannot believe this- you- you think it’s okay to just- I’m done.”

“Please don’t,” he begs, eyes getting glossier the more you talk. “Don’t say it.”

Your bottom lip wobbles, removing your gaze from him. “I’m done with this, with us, and you. Now, you get to deal with the guilt. If you have any at all.” You slam the box in his hand and walk away.

Nothing could have prepared anyone at the hospital for this.

You know they’re all looking at you and it pisses you off. “What are you looking at?!”

Christina does damage control, stopping everyone from getting your wrath.

Meredith finds him in the on-call room, she was hoping to nap before joining in on a surgery but seems like the universe had other plans. ”You uh- okay?”

He fiddles with the box, staring at the diamond that taunts him. “Does it look I’m okay?”

She shrugs, “not really but it’s better than admitting you were stupid for messing things up with her.”

“My mistake brought Derek to you, didn’t it?”

“Why are you here?”

“If I go to Joe’s I’m going to sleep around, proving her point.”

“And staying here?”

“I don’t know where else to go. Derek is still upset with me, and I don’t blame him, but I know he loves you and I don’t need to hear a speech from him. I’m not ready for him to tell me I messed up more than any of us want to admit.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” He asks, finally looking up from the ring. “I was scared.”

“To,” she gestures to the ring.

“That and be a husband.”

“You weren’t scared of asking, it was the commitment that got you, I can understand it.”

“No, no," he shakes his head. "I didn’t think- I knew I wouldn’t be a good husband. I- everyone only saw the bad, my parents, Derek at times but she didn’t. She never did and that’s why I,” he lets out a tearful chuckle, “that’s why I fell for her. She saw the good no one else did and I screwed it up.”

Meredith hands him a tissue.

“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll let you observe one of my surgeries beside me.”

“I wasn’t but if you’re offering.”

The two chuckled.

Christina owlishly blinks, watching as you work on your last patient for the day as if nothing’s happened.

“How can she just put it all behind her?” George questions, sitting beside her.

“Having a nervous breakdown earlier in the day helps.”

“I feel like there should be someone sitting between us.”

The future cardiologist shrugs, “suit yourself.”

“You’re going to check on her after she’s done, right?”

“I’ll talk to her, if she opens up, good for her.”

A smile dances across his lips, happy that someone’s going to check on you; he likes you and admires your work, knowing you could be someone as well-known as Ellis Grey.

“Can you teach me your sutures?”

You ignore her and finish checking over your charts. “Yours are fine. Tell me the real reason you're bugging me.”

She purses her lips, not wanting to admit it out loud. “Are you okay?”

“You really want to know?”

She hesitates to nod. “I… do.��

“It sucks. Everything just… sucks. I don’t want to be here, but this is the only place that makes me feel calm.” You hand Marjorie the chart, smiling at her before returning to Christina. “I’m going to get through this. He’s going to find a nice girl and have the family he always wanted while I’ll still be here.”

“He’s going to go through girls like I go through tequila.”

“I know,” you grab your bag. “Which is why I know he’ll finally find his girl.”

She follows you until you reach the door. "What if it's you?"

A sad smile stretches across your lips. "He lost her."

”Forever?”

You shrug.

The resident stands there, unsure of what to do now.

You glance in his direction, wondering how many women he’s going to write down on the sheet. You hand yours back to Bailey, “I keep my life outside of work, unlike some people.”

Mark inwardly groans.

Bailey avoids making eye contact with him, she can’t continue to feel bad for him when he’s the one who messed things up (from what you told her).

You walk past the new residents, not in the mood to deal with them, especially with the girls fawning over Mark.

You sit down and watch his surgery, listening to the way he talks down to them.

You always told him he needs to slow down and be kind to them or else they won’t respect him but with everything that’s happened, you assume he’s a little bitter.

He always knows when you're watching and composes himself, but he can’t help and snap at the newbie (you don’t need to be talked about as if you’re a piece of meat). He glances up, catching your gaze.

You gulp, finding his soft expression he only used for you.

Everyone turns to you.

Two of the girls in orange start gossiping beside you.

“I have charts to look over. Come with me?” George asks.

You nod, finding it hard to keep your gaze off him but do so, only to inform the girls of some key information. “Keep talking like that and you two won’t find yourself off bedpan duty for a few months. Don’t talk about your superiors like that again."

The young faced one eyes widen and her face pales at your threat.

Mark can’t help but smirk behind his mask, always loving it when you straightened people out, if it was necessary.

"I see you two still aren’t talking.”

“Shut up, George.”

“Right, yeah. Got it.”

You try and ignore him again, which is when Derek steps in. “You should talk to him.”

“I know you two are all buddy buddy now, but I can’t do that. I can’t pretend like he didn’t break my heart in two. So, excuse me for ignoring your best friend."

He stops in front of you. “I need you to stop, think about this. What if you two don’t make amends and something happens? How would you feel? Think about how he would feel?”

“We’d be depressed, but eventually get over it, maybe be slutty for a few months and that’s the end of it.”

“That’s not a healthy way of dealing with your feelings and you know it.”

“I don’t care if it’s healthy or not. I have issues and I deal with them my way.”

“If you’d talk to him, maybe you’ll feel better.”

You roll your eyes and head into the prep station before you two head into surgery.

Bailey rolls her eyes, reaching for your phone. “Your phone keeps buzzing, doctor.”

You sigh, “does it look important?”

She leans closer, whispering, “it’s about your daughter.”

“Daycare or babysitter?”

“Babysitter. Fever, wants her mom.”

You take a deep breath and lean over to talk to your friend, “doctor Bailey’s going to take over. I need to go.”

“You’re leaving in the middle of a surgery?”

“I have to take care of something.”

“What?”

“My daughter.”

The staff in the OR got quiet, no one observing said anything.

You didn’t see the lights until it was too late.

“We got one adult in critical condition. One child with a minor bruising.”

Bailey and Owen are the first to arrive.

The woman’s eyes narrow to the familiar baby in Matt’s arms.

Owen steps forward. “What happened?”

“Car accident. Drunk ran a red light. Drivers side took more of the impact.”

“We need to get her checked out now.” The redhead pushes himself through, taking over one of the rooms. He tells the interns and fresh residents to prep a surgical room and put Christina on babysitting duty, leaving Jackson to follow him and Callie into the OR.

“I heard there was an accident,” Mark says, standing in the doorway. “I wanted to see if you needed any assistance?”

Callie glances at her ally in the room. “No, you should go check on Derek. I think I heard him calling for you.”

“When did he-"

“She’s coding,” Jackson interrupts.

“Crap! Avery, push one of epi.”

Everyone in the room prays for it to work and you to come back.

“Let me help,” he takes a step forward before being called away by one of the nurses.

He takes a sip of coffee, goes over the notes and overhears a few residents gossiping. His head whips in their direction. "Where'd you hear that?” He asks them, not accepting their answers.

They freeze. "Where did you hear that? Is she here?"

The group of residents’ glances at one another, unsure of what to say. "Who told you she's here?"

April had never worked with Mark before and seeing how freaked out he was over someone who wanted almost nothing to do with him, she felt bad; if someone she was in love with was hurt or worse, she'd want to know. "We- we saw her come in. They-"

He doesn't listen to anything else and takes off, running past Christina, who coddles the tear eyed, red faced toddler in her arms.

He runs straight towards Meredith, who's talking to Owen. "Where is she?"

The red head takes a step foward. "She's in surgery-"

"What room?"

"Sloan, you know I can't-"

He grabs Owen's scrubs by the collar and pulls him close. "I need to see her. I can't be here, waiting to see if she's dead or not. Tell me where she is."

The ex-vet slowly reaches for the man's hands. "Mark, I need you to calm down."

"How can I calm down when I just found out my fiancé is in surgery?"

Meredith takes a seat beside him, slumping against the wall, offering him a snack.

He shakes his head, closes his eyes and resting his head against the wall. "Have you heard anything?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I don't even know where she is."

"I just- what am I going to do if she's really-"

"Don't talk like that. She's not one to give up. She's-"

"A fighter?"

"Yeah."

Christina turns the corner, eyes wide. "Meredith?" She spots the two of them and runs towards them, inadvertently introducing your daughter to her father. "Mer. Mer. I need your help."

"Where did you get a baby?" She pushes herself off the floor. "Why do you have a baby?"

"Bailey put me on Kara duty and she won't stop crying."

"Whose baby, is it?"

That's when things got awkward.

Meredith's eyes widen, "no."

She nods.

Mark opens his eyes, glancing up. His eyes stop on the little girl, who glances his way.

She reaches for him. "Dada."

No one knew what to do.

"Oh my god," the two women muttered.

He pushes himself off the floor, staring at her. There's no mistaking it, she has your features, but she's got his eyes.

The little girl fusses in the woman's arms.

Mark easily slides her into his, his daughter settles into his arms, staring at him with those wide, curious eyes. "Mama?"

He gulps, "we have to wait a little bit before we see mama, okay?"

She nods and lays her head down on his chest.

He closes his eyes to keep his tears at bay, kissing the top of her head.

"She still loves you," Christina tells him.

He keeps his gaze on his girls and hums. "When you showed her the ring, she didn't say it was officially over for you two but she's still heartbroken over you and Addison getting together."

"I was getting ready to leave."

"What?"

"I grabbed my jacket and made sure I had the ring. I was- I wanted that night to go perfectly but then I opened the door, and she was there." He sighs.

"She let herself in and I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn't and then she kissed me. I told her I couldn't because I was about to become a proud married man," he bitterly chuckles.

"I told her no and she got upset because she knew she could always run to me but when she knew she couldn't anymore, she decided she wanted to love me. The way I wanted her to when we were younger. I accepted it, you know."

The woman nods.

"I accepted the fact that she chose Derek. He was a good choice."

"He was a safe choice, and she knew that."

Mark nods, "yeah and that's why I... tried to warn him before he proposed."

"You tried to warn him?"

"He's my best friend, I couldn't let him go into a marriage that was going to hurt him."

She chuckles, "that's ironic."

"Shut up, Yang."

"Go on."

"I gave into her because a part of me was scared- scared I was going to hear the rejection. No, I can't marry you because..."

"You're a manwhore?"

"Baby present and, yes. I didn't want my past to define my future but then, it did, and she left with Derek."

"Do you think Derek knew about," Christina gestures to the baby in his arms.

"Probably. I'm not happy I missed it but at least I know she had someone who could take care of her."

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"If she'll listen."

Her pager beeps.

"Go, Yang. I'm not leaving."

Derek nods and steps into the room.

"You hear all that?"

His friend shrugs, "only the good parts."

"Funny."

"She was going to tell you before... everything happened but then she needed to get away and I did too-"

"So, she left without saying anything."

"If it means anything, she wrote a journal throughout the entire pregnancy, in case she passed, and Kara wanted to know about her mom."

He can tell by Mark's expression; he needs to explain.

"She was stressed throughout the entire pregnancy, and it was cause for concern. She had a few fainting spells and needed to stay home for a while. The doctor was making it seem like if she even went to the bathroom, she was going to lose Kara which scared her more than leaving you."

"Why?"

"If she lost Kara, it meant losing a piece of you which would have made her feel like it was officially over for the two of you."

Your heart monitor beeps. "Derek?"

His friend calms you down, checking you over before whispering that Mark and Kara are in the room.

You slowly turn your head, spotting them.

The father of your child smiles, relieved to see you awake. "Hey."

You spot your little girl tucked into his neck and tear up. You bring your hand up to your mouth to hide the sobs that want to escape.

Mark gestures for your guys' friend to exit so he can talk to you. He slowly pushes himself out of the chair, adjusting to the little girl. "Hey, hey," he brushes the few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb rubbing agaist your hairline. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be. I'm just- I'm happy you're okay."

"I wanted to call you so many times."

"I know."

"I wanted you to be there."

"Where?"

"In the room," you whisper, staring into his eyes. "I didn't want her to be away from you but-"

He nods. "I know, I messed up. If I didn't- if it didn't happen, we could have been a family, and I will forever be sorry because you went through it alone."

Hearing your voice alerts the little girls’ ears and she squirms in his grasp.

He sets her feet on the open area near your arm, letting her turn around and launch herself into your arms. "Mama!"

"Oh, my sweet baby." You kiss the side of her head. "Mama missed you."

His heart swells at the sight of you two.

A few days later and you feel okay enough to be sent home.

You bid your goodbyes to everyone, even the newbies because they were nice enough to check in on you and make sure everything was okay. You step outside and take a deep breath.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A quiet moment ruined by your ex.

"I'm breathing, Mark. Can I do that, or do you need to make sure the weather's just right?"

He chuckles before getting out of the car. "You know your doctor gave you strict orders, I think you should be following them but that's just me."

You stare at him with a deadpan expression. "I got it, Mark. I know what I need to do, don't try and patronize me."

"I would never."

The residents huddle together, watching the two of you.

"How much do you want to bet that they're going to get back together?" Christina asks.

Jackson nods, "I'll take that bet."

Meredith stares at the two of them.

"You two are awful," April adds.

"Yes, but we'll be bad people with money," the future cardiologist tells her with a sarcastic smile.

Derek stops at the desk, taking a sip of his coffee before making his way to the group. "Okay, if we're all done gawking at two grown adults trying to move past their differences, can we get back to work?"

"You're no fun. I remember when you were having fun."

"You want to scrub in on my surgery, Dr. Yang?"

"Let's go have fun. See yah, Mer."

You make it through the door of your place and wait for it. "Say it."

"What?" He closes the door, setting the stroller by the door as he unbuckles Kara.

"I know you're judging, so, out with it. I'm not going to pretend as if you don't want to say something because you do."

"I don't," he notices the look you're giving him. "I... like it."

"You hesitated even finishing that sentence."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Mama!"

You two glance down at the little girl, wanting attention and out of her father's grasp. You gently take her from him and wander into the kitchen, scouring through the cabinets to figure out what kind of things you could have as a snack.

This is what he wants, he wants this life: the one where you're not mad at him, and he can watch his daughter grow while you look amazing at being a mom.

He gulps down what little saliva he has in his mouth and takes a hesitant step closer to you. "What are we feeling?"

You hum, "I don't know, little miss here can't decide on what she wants."

"I can make something," he meekly offers, unsure if this is too much or not.

"What can you make? Last time I checked all you knew was protein smoothies and even then, that wasn't the best."

He scoffs, "I know how to cook, and you know it. You forget who made you dinner for our second date."

You open your mouth to respond but don't have it in you when you think about the good times you two had. Your gaze drops.

He feels bad but he can't pretend as if your romantic past doesn't exist. "I was so worried I messed up with that dinner."

"Really?"

"Of course, I was cooking for the most beautiful girl within a five-mile radius of my house. I was more than nervous."

"Good."

You step out of the room and start cleaning up, only for Mark to stop you and grab everything you pick up.

"I told you not to do anything. I got this."

You lean over the couch and watch him wander around your place. "Do you..."

"What?" He glances up, staring at you with kind eyes, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if it didn't happen?"

"I know we'd be married with at least one other kid now."

"I'm serious."

"I don't want to focus on the past."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "Says the man who always wanted to ask about my exes."

You don't even know how it happened but here you are. You pull away, needing to breathe before continuing.

"Are you sure about this?"

You stare into his eyes, for what feels like an eternity. "I'm sure. I want this. Please," you beg.

His lips curve upwards, "who am I to deny you a fun time?"

You keep him at arm’s length, "that comment makes me want to rethink this whole thing."

"No, it doesn't."

You grumble and pull him back in for a kiss.

Meredith immediately closes the door, regretting not checking before opening. "Seriously you guys?"

You reach for your shirt and cover your mouth to hide your giggles, Mark turns to you with a smirk. "How do you know we weren't trying to invite you?"

"Because you know better."

Your eyes widen.

"Hey, Bailey," he says with a cool tone.

"You two better be out of there in the next five minutes or-"

You open the door and run past the two. "See yah, Bails. See yah, Mer."

Mark stays there flabbergasted at how quickly you ran out the door, leaving him to deal with her.

He closes the door just as you finish making dinner. "You are evil."

You stick your bottom lip out, "I don't think so, I made dinner. I'm going to be feeding you, I'd consider that to be something nice."

"You left me to deal with that- that woman alone."

"I left you with Bails, you were fine."

"I was not fine. I was far from fine."

You click your tongue, "stop exaggerating."

"I'm not and you know it."

"Okay," you groan. "I'm sorry. I left you with Bailey and that wasn't nice."

"It wasn't." He wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.

"I said sorry, don't be like this."

"I think I'm going to need a little more in order to forgive you."

You lean into him as you settle into his arms.

The monitor goes off and you're brought back to the reality of you being in the arms of your ex.

You push yourself out of his grasp and walk towards her room. "Hey, pumpkin."

She holds her arms out for you.

You pick her up, "how's my little baby?"

She babbles a response. "Dada?"

"He's still here, checking on dinner. Your favorite."

"Maccheese!"

You chuckle, "yeah."

"There's my favorite girl," he smiles at the happy little girl.

You observe the way they interact with a heavy heart, knowing you can't continue doing this with him.

"What happened?" Christina asks, practicing new sutures on a banana.

"Nothing happened-"

"You're not sleeping with McSteamy, something happened."

"I just- I realized we need to not fall back into old habits."

"Do you still love him?"

You hesitate to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Of course, of course I still love him, but I can't be in love with him-"

"Because he was an adulterous whore?"

"Yeah."

"Have you seen him with anyone else?"

"I didn't need to see anything if all the girls talked about him?"

"Did you ever think maybe they lied? Maybe they're jealous of the fact that you have a hot guy fawning over you and only you. What else would they do other than gossip?"

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Have you ever talked to him?"

"I'm scared."

"So is he."

"I don't want to get hurt again."

"He wouldn’t want to lose you again."

"Christina?"

"Yeah?"

"You're wise beyond your years."

You run to him, pulling him into the break room.

He attempts to get up. "Shut up and let me talk."

You take a deep breath, "I want to be with you, like we were before but we're not those people anymore. And- and I want you to be in Kara's life so you can watch her grow up but this," you gesture between the two of you.

"This can only work if we're honest and you don't leave me for a quick lay or else, I will put you in an OR and change things about you. I will not put myself or Kara on the line if you're not going to give us your all."

He nods, taking in everything you've said. He pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you and pulls you in for a hug. "I'm never letting you go," he mumbles into your hair. "Living without you was the worst time of my life."

Mark pulls away, cupping your cheek, staring into your eyes. "If you let me into your lives, I promise not to mess it up because you two are too important to me and I don't know if I'd be able to live without you."

You sniffle, chuckling at his dorky smile. "Then don't be an idiot and kiss me."

"Finally," Christina turns around, pointing to everyone. "You all owe me money."

"Us."

"You owe Mer and I money."

Derek makes his way towards them. "What are we looking at?" He smiles, "good, it's about time he got his act together."

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