#OH SHIT GIRL THAT SECOND ONE 😳😳😳

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

Rambling thoughts of various Yuri manga I’ve read

1. Kase-San and Yamada (Morning Glories sequel series) by Hiromi Takashima

notice how Kase’s name is first, which is representative of her being the main one to cause problems in their relationship

If you asked me what my favorite yuri manga was like 2-3 years ago, I’d say Morning Glories and Kase San everytime. Every avid yuri fan has either read or watched Morning Glories because, at the time in 2010, it was groundbreaking, and I stand by the fact that the original series still holds up to this day. It was cute, sweet, wholesome and only had a few obligatory “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” moments. Most of all it wasn’t a pseudo-incest-straight-male-porn-pandering-garbage-fest—also known as “Citrus”. Was it cliche at times? Yes, but they all are lol. Did they add to the dumb ass “blonde femme and dark hair masc” trope? Also yes. But it was adorable and it was my first ever yuri so it holds a special place in my heart.

And it SEEMED like it was only going to get better in Kase San and Yamada, the sequel. The girls would be heading to college and the story could theoretically focus on more mature topics while they navigate their new relationship. Keyword: theoretically. Unfortunately, instead of exploring interesting relationship dynamics and storylines, the plot of each story arc boils down to: Kase is insecure because a man breathed next to Yamada or Kase is being completely insensitive to Yamada’s feelings…again…—> ✨miscommunication drama ✨—>big over dramatic apology scene—>boring makeup sex or other romantic gesture.

Literally that’s how every single plotline goes. Kase is so goddamn dumb and insensitive to Yamada’s feelings and Yamada’s a complete doormat who can only stay mad for 0.2 seconds before getting pussy whipped like a spineless ass bitch. And for all that Yamada sacrifices for Kase; her hometown, her dreams, her apartment, what does she get in return from Kase? Oh that’s right; bare minimum romantic gestures and a neglectful partner who can’t even call her “girlfriend” in front of others:

Like I thought we were over this shit. It’s been THREE years of them together, a whole anime production, and god knows how many irl years and we’re going back to “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” WHY???

And then Kase later goes onto bet her entire three year relationship over the ugly bitch in the next panel, so now I’m questioning whether or not Kase even loves Yamada with the amount of bullshit she’s put her through. Which COULD be an interesting plot point, but Kase never gets any consequences for her actions and the creator genuinely thinks this is romantic and full of tension so I’m 10000% positive that this arc, just like all the others, will end with some makeup sex and we’ll be right back to step 1. Sigh.

2. Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu

Tamen De Gushi’s problems are interesting but it’s NOT because of the Chinese government💀

So today’s dark haired masc and blonde femme of the day are Sun Jing and Qiu Tong, respectively. Their personalities aren’t anything to write home about, if you read ANY high school yuri romance, then you know exactly what happens in this story beat for beat. But, BUT, however derivative it is, I find their dynamic very endearing and down to earth. Idk maybe it’s just the translation, but other yuri stories often have this very inauthentic “anime” vibe to it. Which is to say the characters act very cutesy, overly dramatic, and have this stilted, caricature-esque acting of how the creator thinks teenage girls are supposed act.

However, I’m happy to report that Tamen De Gushi is a breath of fresh air in this regard. The characters and interactions they have are grounded and feel organic, which makes them feel like real people, not aliens pretending to be human. This really elevates the humor in turn, oh did I mention that Tamen De Gushi is super funny? Because Tamen De Gushi is super funny, here’s one of my favorite panels and it’s all because of Sun Jing’s goofy ahh expression:

Like go girl give us nothing

If you’re wondering why I haven’t spoke much about the actual romantic relationship between the girls, that’s because there isn’t one💀 Which, okay, that’s not a fair assessment, they have a ton of romantic tension and they flirt a lot. It’s certainly building to a great romantic relationship, but it can’t quite get there due to legal/political reasons sadly. 😔

Edit: I received new information in regards to what happened to Tamen De Gushi. While I reached my limit for posting pictures, I want to point out that the Chinese government had nothing to do with Tamen De Gushi getting censored, rather it was a dispute between the author and the publishing company. The prior information I received was false and I prob should’ve looked it up more so sorrrry. The fact still remains though that after their big lesbian kiss towards the middle of the story and maybe a few other moments, that’s just kind of it. You’re stuck waiting for something to develop, but nothing really happens. The comic very quickly becomes a collection of slice of life segments and cute pictures that imply a relationship between the girls, but not really ;) ;).  Now things are just kind of left in purgatory for the foreseeable future and, well, that’s Tamen De Gushi y’all.

Compared to Kase San and Yamada, the characters were much better, which is not saying much, but without an actual romantic storyline, there’s just not a lot for me to comment on to be honest. It’s really pretty though, look at this art :

3. Beauty and the Beast Girl by Neji

my personal favorite and the BEST yuri I ever read

So next on the list is Beauty and the Beast Girl (I’m going to abbreviate to BatBG from here on) , which I already spoiled my feelings on the matter so this will basically be me gushing about this story for several paragraphs straight, enjoy.

Contrary to what the title suggests, it really has nothing to do with Beauty and the Beast’s story except in name. The main girls are Lily Blind, who is actually fucking blind 💀 and Heath the monster girl. Already I’m happy because instead of blonde femme and dark hair butch, it’s blonde femme and of-course-you-have-purple-hair-and-pronouns masc. Lol, all jokes aside, Lily, unlike her blonde femme counterparts is quite assertive and voices her opinions all the time. In fact, she’s the one who pushes Heath to be more open and communicate with her rather than the other way around. This is, in part, due to the story BatBG is trying to tell. I say BatBG is in name only to Beauty and the Beast because Lily isn’t trying to find the “beauty” within Heath or learning to love a beast or whatever, she’s fine just the way she is and her love for Heath is unconditional. Plus the only thing beastly about Heath is her appearance…which I’ll harp on later, but her behavior is in no way different from a regular human except in very rare, specific moments.

At its heart, BatBG is a story about forgiveness (the creator literally says as much) , but it’s also about the cycle of violence that results from being outcasted and deprived of love. BatBG is set in a world of humans and monsters, where the monsters are outcasted and either have to stay away from human society like Heath or assimilate themselves by hiding away their monster like traits, which is a really queer narrative on top of an already queer story. I don’t want to go into too much spoilers, but sometime before the beginning of the story, Heath in-directly hurts Lily before they ever meet. However, it’s not about Lily needing to forgive Heath, or trying to get over the pain she inflicted upon her, rather its Heath learning to forgive herself and in effect, learning to love herself as much as Lily loves her.

Another big aspect of BatBG is disabilities, Lily Blind is in fact Blind lol and while there are times she struggles with her blindness, she never views her disability as something she needs to be ashamed of and never, ever, blames Heath for it or holds it against her unlike what many, many, many, many other stories end up doing. Her blindness isn’t treated like a super power either, it’s a legitimate disability. She just accepts that it’s a part of her and goes onto say that if not for her blindness, she would’ve never met the love of her life, which I found to be an incredibly profound thing to say.

Now that I’ve gotten this far, I suppose I can add a bit of a disclaimer. So BatBG is waaaaay more explicit about the physical affection between the girls than in any of the previous stories I talked about. Heath and Lily are constantly kissing on, hugging, and almost always flirting with each other, and make no mistake, these girls do be fucking. The sex scenes are never perverted or gross, but genuinely super sweet and romantic, which makes it way hotter imo (huh imagine that🤔). And aside from being hot, it also serves a purpose! Lily’s pretty damn horny underneath all her nice girl antics and while it’s not a major part of her character, it does give a slight edge to her personality and, most importantly, balances out the dynamic between Heath and Lily. It would’ve been very easy to fall into that boring trope where Heath is aggressively horny and Lily is the submissive blind girl, but by making Lily be the one to initiate the sexual encounters, it not only compliments Heath’s more reserved nature, but breaks the stereotype that people with disabilities are pure precious being who couldn’t possibly have sex, which is ableist af btw. Many people think the existence of any sex scenes at all is superfluous, but in BatBG, it truly elevates the story, the characters, and the romance in ways that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying without it.

Now, with as much praise I gave BatBG, there is one criticism I have, but it’s a quibble really, and it can be explained in a single image:

There is a dissonance between the story and the art, the story says: “Heath is a big, ugly scary monster”

The art says:

And like yes, it can be argued that Heath is simply regurgitating the things bigoted people have said to her, but at no point in the story is this ever challenged or brought up in any meaningful way. Lily is blind so she doesn’t know what the hell she looks like and the other characters aren’t any help either. It’s not a big deal or anything, it just would’ve elevated the story if Heath was actually kinda ugly/more monstrous and not incredibly beautiful because right now it’s giving skinny girl who calls herself fat all the time, and it’s like, babe, who tf are you fooling? 😭

Other than that, BatBG is incredibly profound despite its premise being so deceptively simple and I love it to pieces so …yeah! READ IT.

4. Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit by sometime

Well, at least there are no blondes

So imma just abbreviate to SiL btw

Alright, let’s get started. The premise is that a villainess falls for the super hero girl and then that plotline is dropped in about 16 pages. I’m not even joking, the villainess falls for the hero, loses her job as a villain and then joins the hero all in one chapter. The REAL plot is actually about a council of evil alien-humans who want to destroy humanity because of generic super villain reason #434: the leader of the aliens is sad and misunderstood :( I’m not even going to lie, I had 0 interest in “X” (the generic ass name of the main villain) and her band of useless lesbians. They did literally nothing in the story except be a nuisance and contribute to X’s incel breakdown at the end. Their inclusion actively made SiL worse because the story has this weird tonal problem where in one breath the villains are portrayed as complete jokes and then you turn the page and now they’re shooting children like girl what💀 And these useless lesbians hog sooooo much of SiL that desperately needed to be given to Honey trap and Hayate to develop their relationship.

When the story DOES actually focus on Honey Trap and Hayate, it’s pretty good, even cute at times, there just wasn’t enough time given to them to flesh their relationship out. As it stands, Honey Trap and Hayate don’t have much of a dynamic, or personality for that matter. Honey Trap’s main gimmick is that she’s extremely horny for Hayate and delulu:

Aside from that, she’s a great value version of Heath, but even a watered down character is better than, like, nothing. All I really know about Hayate is that she’s nice, heroic, likes wearing tacky clothes and ….that’s it. She loves Honey Trap because…………they fought together a few times so why not🤷‍♀️ I’d say at least that’s better than Tamen De Gushi, but actually it’s not because these grown ass women don’t even kiss , all we get is a love confession and their gremlin love child and that’s supposed to be satisfying I guess.

And the worst part is that SiL has the audacity to pretend the romance was something that it clearly wasn’t:

Girl…yall were “””enemies””” for 10 panels.

Now, it’s stated they have been rivals for a while, but I guess Honey Trap forgot all of that because the moment she sees Hayate’s face, my good sis is pussy whipped for life. And that’s in spite of apparently being the evilest one out of the evil group because Honey Trap has no grudge or baggage toward Hayate. She immediately turns good with no issues and Hayate is only distrustful of Honey Trap for 1 or 2 speech bubbles and then she’s not. Anything else that happened was off screen, which means it didn’t happen. Ironically, the very next entry on this list will do a MUCH better job at an ex-villain love story, but for SiL, there’s just not much going on.

Another reading of this story is to call it a “parody” but…no, it isn’t. SiL isn’t a comedy, yes there are comedic moments that poke fun of the genre, but the rest of the story genuinely wants you to take it seriously. Except it can’t. X and her league of dimwits are boring as piss and they oscillate between Saturday morning cartoon villains and child murderers seemingly on a whim. So I can neither be endeared to them nor take them as a serious threat. Honey Trap and Hayate are there, but I lament on all the potential lost from what could’ve been an amazing relationship.

5. Yamujiburo/Kianamaiart’s Hanamusa webcomic

This one is kind of cheating, but I also don’t care let me talk about hot MILFs💀

So the final entry on this list is a webcomic series by one of my fave artist: kianamaiart! And it’s right here on tumblr so check it out!

I stumbled upon this webcomic a few weeks ago, fell in love and now I want to talk about it. This yuri pair thankfully has no blonde femme in sight and instead features two popular Pokémon characters: Jessie from Team Rocket and Delia Ketchum, Ash Ketchum’s mom. What I love about this ship and the world Kiana creates around them is that it’s a very unconventional pairing. There’s just not many romances where a single mom falls in love with an ex gang member and the best part is, Delia being a mom is a big part of her character and she doesn’t ignore Ash in favor of her new relationship with Jessie. She has time for both and doesn’t prioritize one over the other, which many ppl fail to do even irl so good on you Delia!

Now, as for the romance it self, Jessie and Delia are a unique pair. Jessie’s overconfident, brash, drama queen personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “dominant” role and Delia’s sweet, motherly personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “submissive” role. Their dynamic in the webcomic actually plays out in the reverse, Jessie is the one who gets easily flustered and Delia’s…intense, to say the least:

(But Tbf if Delia looked at me like that I’d be at her beck and call too💀)

This subversion of these tropes creates a fun dynamic for the couple and it’s super adorable to see how their energies bounce off each other in each new situation Kiana puts them in. I also love how both Jessie and Delia inspire each other to live out their dreams and they become better versions of themselves by being together.

And one last thing, I don’t have any smart commentary to go along with this, I just really like this drawing of Jessie:

no thoughts, head empty

Final Thoughts

Soooo yeah, that’s the end of my dissertation on yuri comics. I know I ended up dragging a lot of popular yuri, but it wasn’t my intention to make you guys hate any of things I talked about. These were just my thoughts as an avid yuri fan, so let me know your thoughts as well, especially if you read any of the yuri I talked about. And even though I’m super picky about the type of yuri I read, I’d still love to hear any recommendations. Who knows, it might dethrone the undefeated champ that is Beauty and the Beast Girl.

#Yuri #yuri manga #long post #Anime #manga #lgbt #lgbtq+ #wlw post #kase san and morning glories #tamen de gushi #beauty and the beast girl #superwomen in love #hanamusashipping

[spideysbruh]

Married

Can be a pt 2 to my engagement one, but it can be read on its own

liked by tchalamet, dylanminnette, rachelzegler and 3,827,727 others

y/n hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway

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tchalamet SOON SOONY SOON SOON

y/n liked

tchalamet i can't wait for you to be my WIFE

y/n liked

y/n I can't wait for you to be my HUSBAND

rachelzegler so excited for you!! your dress is beautiful 🫶

y/n so is yours 🤭🫶🫶

@y/n just tweeted- only a few more days til my wedding w this guy omg😳😳😳

@realchalamet liked and retweeted

@ynsbejewled replied- LMFAOOO ALSO ARE YOU GONNA SHARE SOME BTS WITH USS 🥺🥺😭😭

@y/n replied- maybe just a little bit, it's pretty intimate so 🤭

@realchalamet replied- I hate you.

@y/n liked and replied to @tchalamet- ok. we'll see if you still agree w that in a few days... at the ALTAR.... where I'll become your WIFE.

@tchalamet replied to @y/n- ... I love you baby im jk always joking never serious I could never hate you I love you forever

@ynssocks replied- PLEASEEEE

@cinemayn replied- I love how she still teases him 💀😭

@realchalamet just tweeted- GETTING MARRIED SO SOON

@y/n liked and retweeted

@realchalamet just tweeted- HERE COMES THE BRIDE 🗣🗣

@y/n liked and retweeted

@realchalamet just tweeted- WE'RE GETTING MARRIEDDDDD @y/n

@y/n liked and retweeted

y/n just posted a story!

caption- bro is hella excited !!! 🤭🤭😋😍😍😍 TOMORROWWWWW

liked by tchalamet, harrystyles, florencepugh and 5,817,616 others

y/n wow oh wow. I didn't think I could love you any more, and then you became my husband. my absolute favorite person in this entire universe. I love you forever and ever

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tchalamet I'm gonna cry again stop omg

y/n you're literally right next to me

tchalamet forever and everrrr 🫶

florencepugh my favourite couple ever. I love you both. what a beautiful ceremony.

y/n and tchalamet liked

rachelzegler beautiful as always y/n!!!

y/n ily thank you my wonderful bridesmaid

tchalamet just posted two stories!

caption- my WIFE 💍

y/n just posted a story!

caption- we got rings on now 😳😳 im a wife???

liked by y/n, taylorswift, ayoedebiri and 10,655,766 others

tchalamet marrying you has been the greatest joy of my life. I love you endlessly and for eternity Y/N L/N.

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florenceyn CANT BELIEVE WE RLY SAW THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP PROGRESS LIKE THISWOWWW

ynlnsfluffysocks YALL LOOK SO BEAUTFUL PLEASEEE MY PARENTSSS

timmysgf oh god now we gotta hear more about her from him 🙄🙄 just waiting for that divorce now

rachelzegler get a life!

y/n and tchalamet liked

tchalamet i second that ☝️☝️ get a fucking life 🖕

y/n and rachelzegler liked

shawnmendes congratulations 🎉🙏🏼

atreidesyn girl give it up it's been years !!

sabsyn wym??

spectacularyn they used to date 💀

sabsyn WHAT NAUR WAYYYY

spideyyn YUPPP he was lowkey terrible, he shit on her sooo much when they broke up and compared her to his ex in a few interviews 💀 he was a weirdly jealous man

sabsyn wowww wtf... looking this up omg fuck him

duneschalamet THE most beautful couple inside and out I swear

zendaya I LOVE YALL SO BADDD CONGRATS MY FAVORITE PEOPLEEE

tchalamet and y/n liked

*

#timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet au #timothee chalamet social media au #timothee chalamet x you #timothee chalamet smau #timothee chalamet smut

[diorsluv]

feather , part 33

“ no, duh ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

lhughes_06

liked by _quinnhughes, mackie.samo, jamie.drysdale, and 199,272 others

lhughes_06 call me gordon ramsay the way i’m always cookin 😮‍💨🧑‍🍳

view all comments

jamie.drysdale bro maxxed out frat boy speak

→ lhughes_06 ☝️🫵🤫🧏‍♂️

username43 I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THAT’S HER

jackhughes is that what the burning smell was

→ lhughes_06 HEY I DID NOT BURN ANYTHING

→ jackhughes tell that to the smoke detector

→ lhughes_06 SHUT UP

yourusername when he can cook 🙈

→ rutgermcgroarty WHAAAAAAAAT

→ markestapa SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE CAMERA 📸

→ lhughes_06 oh 😳

→ dylanduke25 😱😱

→ _quinnhughes oh. OH. OH? O H ?

→ edwards.73 WAIT A SECOND……..

→ jackhughes what the fuck!

→ colecaufield WHAT DID I MISS???

→ trevorzegras did you have some secret intervention that i was not a part of?!?

→ _alexturcotte say it again no fucking balls

→ jamie.drysdale i checked life360 i know where you are 😒

→ adamfantilli so WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

→ luca.fantilli I LEFT MY PHONE ALONE FOR ONE MINUTE AND I COME BACK TO FIND THIS

→ mackie.samo go ahead n repeat that one for me

→ yourusername now that i have all your attention did you see that drake video 😨

edwards.73 this is the hardest soft launch i’ve ever seen

→ rutgermcgroarty i bet something’s harder tho 👀

→ lhughes_06 ✅ rutgermcgroarty

→ markestapa WHAT

→ yourusername WOAHHHH 🙉🙉

→ _quinnhughes BRO WHAT THE FUCK

→ jackhughes the dick jokes are getting worse

→ trevorzegras but i taught him well jackhughes

username10 bro exposed half her face thinking we weren’t gonna know 🙄

→ username87 i meannnnnn we all know anyways 🫢🫢

trevorzegras whens the hard launch

→ lhughes_06 well don’t spoil the surprise

→ trevorzegras 😥

→ colecaufield whos gonna tell him

→ _quinnhughes not me

→ jackhughes def not me

→ yourusername i volunteer as tribute 🙋‍♀️

markestapa luke is a dumbass confirmed

→ lhughes_06 mark is a bully confirmed

→ markestapa 🤬

→ lhughes_06 😓

luca.fantilli remember when you used to post about the friend group? cuz i dont 😒

→ lhughes_06 i just wanna show of my gf 🙁

→ lhughes_06 is that so wrong 😔😔

→ luca.fantilli yes

→ lhughes_06 oh…

→ yourusername and i’m sure your gf wants to show you off too lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 well if she did then i’d be very flattered

→ yourusername ah then you should be pretty flattered cuz i’m almost 100% positive she wants to

→ luca.fantilli CAN YOU TWO PLEASE FUCKING STOP 😭

username51 man im ngl ur girlfriends hot

→ lhughes_06 oh hell no BACK UP

→ username40 LMAOOO

elblue6 oh that’s great sweetie! when did you learn to cook?

→ jackhughes mom he still doesn’t know how to

→ lhughes_06 YES I DO

→ elblue6 did your best friend and newly turned girlfriend teach you?

this reply has been deleted

→ lhughes_06 MOM YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT

→ _quinnhughes 💀

→ elblue6 oops

username88 ellen’s actually a fucking savage

→ username92 mama hughes 🫶

username13 i’m waiting for fuckin tmz to make some article about this shit

→ username7 GOODBYE NOT TMZ

username65 luke sweetie even my non hockey friends know about this shit.. you gotta step it up

liked by lhughes_06

_quinnhughes bro thinks hes cooking just cuz he got a girl

→ lhughes_06 I COOKED SO HARD FYM

→ yourusername lukey ily but you did not cook whatsoever 😭😭

→ colecaufield we cooked for him

→ adamfantilli and burned 2 kitchens down in the process

→ lhughes_06 so what i’m hearing is you did more damage than i did

→ _alexturcotte 🤫🤫

dylanduke25 she literally doesn’t even like steak

→ lhughes_06 and how would you know that

→ dylanduke25 because she texted the group chat that like two years ago

→ lhughes_06 ACCORDING TO RESEARCH taste buds change about every 7 years soooo

→ edwards.73 dude she turned you into a nerd

→ yourusername on behalf of his gf THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A NERD

→ markestapa 👀👀 yourusername

username22 he aint foolin anyone

username78 oh my god he can cook 😱😱😱

rutgermcgroarty but isn’t being able to cook like the bare minimum

→ lhughes_06 no……..(?)

→ yourusername YES IT IS 👏👏

→ lhughes_06 I MEAN YES IT IS

→ markestapa no it’s not 🙄🙄

→ yourusername i mean they jus gotta know the basics is what i’m saying yk

→ mackie.samo your man knows more than just the basics from what i’ve heard

→ yourusername yes he does 🤭🤭

→ dylanduke25 shit is that why i can’t get a date

adamfantilli i really thought you weren’t gonna post her 😔

→ lhughes_06 don’t be jealous man don’t worry

→ adamfantilli i’m not jealous 😕😕

→ mackie.samo idk you kinda do seem jealous

→ adamfantilli I’M NOT

→ luca.fantilli it’s okay bro let it out

→ yourusername awww adam do you want his attention 😣😣😣😣

→ adamfantilli stfu i KNOW you can’t be talking yourusername

→ yourusername oh ! 😃

→ markestapa LMFAOOO

username9 you live to torture us

username27 there’s no point in begging they’re never gonna do a hard launch

→ username66 it’s not like they need to

jamie.drysdale you’ve successfully shivered my timbers

→ lhughes_06 what 😥

→ jamie.drysdale my timbers are shivered as fuck

→ colecaufield LMAO

→ lhughes_06 I DON’T GET IT

→ jamie.drysdale i don’t need to see you two kissing on insta i already see it every day on ft

→ trevorzegras i mean at least you’re getting a show 🫣🫣

→ jamie.drysdale GOD NO

→ jamie.drysdale i’m going to vomit

→ jamie.drysdale never make that implication ever again

luca.fantilli what a jumpscare

→ lhughes_06 bro stop fucking hating 😒

→ luca.fantilli i can’t help myself

→ yourusername get off the fanboy agenda lu 🙄🙄

→ luca.fantilli fuck both of you

→ adamfantilli i think they’re already doing that luca.fantilli

→ yourusername MY GOD NO

username33 i don’t think they know what soft launch means anymore

_quinnhughes you didn’t even have the decency to put a trigger warning 😔

→ lhughes_06 wtf would it even say 😭

→ jackhughes tw happy couple

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, edwards.73, and 248,050 others

yourusername shit’s feelin a little too soft now.. might have to switch it up 🫣

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markestapa are u saying what i think ur saying

markestapa ARE YOU FUCKING SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING????

→ yourusername idk marky what do you think i’m saying 🫢

→ markestapa shut the fuck up dont tease me like this

→ yourusername you’re such a fan stop acting like you don’t know we’re already together 🙄🙄

→ markestapa thanks for crushing my dreams and aspirations🖕

jamie.drysdale i know you forced him to wear that shirt

→ yourusername WHAT NO I DIDN’T

→ trevorzegras lying is a sin ‼️

→ yourusername is it so hard for you to believe that maybe he just genuinely loves me 😔

→ jackhughes yes

→ _alexturcotte honestly it’s harder to believe that you genuinely love him

→ yourusername ARE YOU CALLING ME UNFAITHFUL??

→ colecaufield lmfaooo no we’re just saying he’s hard to love

→ _quinnhughes damn

→ lhughes_06 damn.

username65 HINTING AT A HARD LAUNCH??

→ yourusername am i?? 🙊

edwards.73 i don’t think you wanna hard launch him

→ yourusername why 😓

→ edwards.73 everyone’s gonna get jumpscared

→ lhughes_06 uncool bro. UNCOOL.

→ mackie.samo lukey boy you sound pretty offended as her “best friend”

→ lhughes_06 i’m just being a cool best friend and getting offended for her boyfriend WHO I’M SURE IS GREAT AND AMAZING AND SUPER HANDSOME

→ rutgermcgroarty okay buddy you do you

username21 OH MY GOD HARD LAUNCH RIGHT NOW

username73 FUCKING FINALLYYYY

lhughes_06 you’re actually so cute

→ yourusername my bf doesn’t approve of you go away ❌❌

→ lhughes_06 aw shucks

→ jackhughes AW SHUCKS??? 💀

→ rutgermcgroarty stop the glazing

→ luca.fantilli biggest dickrider i’ve ever seen

→ dylanduke25 literally hop off her dick bro

→ mackie.samo you guys smell that?? cuz i smell a d1 dickrider

→ trevorzegras bro folded so hard

→ _alexturcotte stay strong my brother

→ lhughes_06 shut the fuck upppp

username54 you’re killing me 😓

colecaufield are you stepping on his docs

→ yourusername they’re dupes 🙏🙏

→ lhughes_06 THEY ARE NOT DUPES

→ lhughes_06 i mean from what i’ve heard at least

→ _quinnhughes you’re fumbling this secret really hard

→ edwards.73 there’s nothing to fumble at this point 😭 _quinnhughes

→ markestapa bro has enough money to buy 100 pairs of doc martens and still gets the dupes

→ yourusername financial management!

adamfantilli it’s SUMMER. why did he buy you skates 😭😭

→ yourusername indoor rinks 🙄🙄

→ luca.fantilli use your brain little bro

→ rutgermcgroarty 🧠 adamfantilli

→ adamfantilli that’s.. not what people use that emoji for

→ rutgermcgroarty i know exactly what they use it for 😉😉

→ yourusername HUH????

→ lhughes_06 whats wrong with buying her skates during the summer 😐

_alexturcotte 🧱🚀

→ yourusername LMAOOO I READ THAT SO WRONG

→ _quinnhughes how the hell do you read it wrong it’s literally emojis?

→ dylanduke25 bricked up rocket?????? wtf is that

→ _quinnhughes never mind

→ mackie.samo it means hard launch dumbass 😒😒 dylanduke25

trevorzegras do you just tie a bow around everything and call it coquette now

→ yourusername that’s exactly what i do

→ trevorzegras oh 😰😰

→ mackie.samo SO COQUETTE 👺

→ colecaufield so coke ett!

→ jackhughes i thought it was pronounced coke-eh???

→ yourusername cocaine

→ jamie.drysdale oh.

→ markestapa novocaine yourusername

→ edwards.73 why are we naming drugs

→ rutgermcgroarty NOVACANE markestapa

→ dylanduke25 FRANK OCEAN 🥰

→ _alexturcotte what the hell is going on

username56 THE FLOWERS ARE SO CUTE

username29 does he spoil you

→ yourusername he does 🤭

_quinnhughes i see he’s treating my lil drizzy good

→ yourusername wtf u never call me that

→ _quinnhughes what’s wrong with calling you lil drizzy 😥😥

→ trevorzegras it’s MY nickname for her

→ yourusername ehhhh trevorzegras

→ trevorzegras shush now

→ trevorzegras AND PLAGIARISM IS ILLEGAL

→ _quinnhughes shut your face zegras

→ trevorzegras face is shut 🫡🫡

mackie.samo i flinched out of utter terror

→ yourusername next time i see you you’re gonna flinch cuz of my fist

→ mackie.samo okay then square up 😤

→ yourusername i got your sisters on speed dial

→ mackie.samo i got your brother and bf on speed dial 🙄🙄

→ yourusername but they can’t hit me or else my mommy will get mad

→ mackie.samo fucking cry baby

→ yourusername suck it 🤬

dylanduke25 is that book cinderella

→ yourusername only you would look closely enough to notice what book i’m reading 😭

→ dylanduke25 what can i say i love the details

→ yourusername mhm i bet the girls love you

→ dylanduke25 no actually they don’t 💔

→ yourusername aw duker it’s okay ily

→ dylanduke25 i bet your bf’s punching the air rn

→ yourusername he’s currently whining about you and laying on top of me 😃😃

username58 luke’s a clingy bf?!?! 🙉

jackhughes mom misses you

→ yourusername AW TELL HER I MISS HER MORE

→ _quinnhughes the ass kissing is crazy

→ yourusername shut up before i tag your mom

→ lhughes_06 mom’s trying to steal my girl 🤬

this reply has been deleted

→ jackhughes luke we all saw that you’re such a pussy

next chapter notes ) ITS SHORT I KNOW but after you know.. stuff……. happened i really wanted to get something out AND IT’S VALENTINES DAY SO HOW COULD I NOT i hope you guys had a great day, valentine or not!!

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys@loveforaugust@cstads-blog@h0e4fictionalme-n

#luke hughes fic #luke hughes fanfic #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #quinn hughes #jack hughes #trevor zegras #cole caufield #alex turcotte #jamie drysdale #adam fantilli #luca fantilli #rutger mcgroarty #ethan edwards #mark estapa #dylan duke #mackie samoskevich

[earthtoharlow]

SERIES MASTERLIST

previous chapter

jackharlow just added to their story!

URBANWYATT

liked by summerwalker, champagnepapi, thegirljt, chloebailey, saweetie, 1dessdior and 789,346 others

urbanwyatt: you know what it is. for the rest of our lives. Happy birthday @yourinsta

view all 6,789 comments

user: besties forever

user: happy birthday to her but why does she never have on clothes

user: oh that’s not…

user: smoke coming out Jack and Stacey ears rn

user: nothing makes me happier than the two of them being friends again

yourinsta: I love you best friend 🤞

user: can you tell Jack to leave her alone

user: why did Jack call her his future wife

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

liked by urbanwyatt, NickiMinaj, cardib, andrealewis,taylorrocks,stormreid,SZA,summerwalker and 1,567,345 others

champagnepapi: More Life to the most genuine soul I know. I ain’t shit without you. You and our babygirl is the only people I’ll share this month with 🦉

view all 567 comments

celeb: family full of OVO babies

celeb: HBD PRETTY :*

celeb: Libra bae

celeb: baddest BM in the game

celeb: you need to wife her asap

THESHADEROOM

liked by 756,036 users

theshaderoom: Looks like we finally have some insight on Drake and Y/N Y/L breakup! For All The Dogs dropped this morning and on the opening track Virginia Beach which fans assumed would be a track dissing towards Pusha T, Drake actually raps about the ups and downs about his relationship with the rapper/model.

At the beginning of the song, Drake claims that Y/N asked him if he could’ve treated her better, he says no, that he thought he did an alright job!

Roomies, have you listened to the song? What’s your thoughts?

view all 12, 678 comments

user: “you put some pain in me” our girl heart our boy bad!!

user: I definitely think Y/N felt smothered by him

user: best song on the album

user: he was plotting on putting a baby in her

user: loved that he mentioned it’s on sight for Jack whenever 🤣

user: we have to get them back together omg

user: on repeat 🔂

user: lowkey feel like she was talking to drake while with Jack the second time

BALLERALERT

liked 456,096 others

balleralert: Is wedding bells in order for Drake & Y/N!

At the last tour stop on Its All A Blur tour in his hometown of Toronto, Drake makes a speech reflecting on tour life and family. He ends the speech shouting out the mother of his daughter and “his wifey” Y/N Y/L who was in attendance as you can see from above, going on to say that he “couldn’t do this life shit” without her.

No one knows for sure if the two are actually married but Drake has been very vocal about not wanting to get married. Sources claim that Drake was simply just trolling Y/N ex Jack Harlow who called Y/N his future wife during his birthday post.

view all 3,567 comments

user: oh shit

user: if he actually wifed her he’s the greatest of all time

user: definitely trolling Jack & Stacey

user: he better not marry that slut

user: hope someone is keeping an eye on Jack Harlow

user: I’m going to crash the wedding

user: marrying someone who might still be in love with their ex is a choice

user: he’s probably joking

jackharlow just added to their story!

***

AN: smh Jack what happened to having shame

Y/n and drake 😳

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @bout-mine @mace23477 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @comehomeimissyou @minkookie95 @harlowcomehome @jackharloww @jaydaaasworld @xxkoolkatxx @khiyah @kkrenae @hufflewhore128@w1ldthoughts @jackiehollanderr @judebellinghamswife @katiaw2 @halfmoondaze @babybardi2

#jack harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow reader #social media au #Jack harlow social media au #toxic

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

Dating Natalie Scatorccio Headcanons <3

She's literally my wife!! I eat these up btw.

I feel like she's like very protective but never possessive. Like she isn't clingy most of the time but if you're like "hey babe that guy's being weird" she's got her arm around you and doesn't let you out of her sight

She tries her damn best not to sexualize you because of the way she'd been treated in the past

But she does love a good low-cut top (who doesn't tbh)

She's totally into you like stealing her necklaces and earrings. She pretends to be pissed but secretly she thinks you look so cool

She also bought a sweatshirt that was wayyy too big for her specifically for you to steal. She acts like she didn't buy it for you but you know she did and you appreciate the sentiment

Natalie definitely steals your t-shirts and sweatshirts. Like you lend one to her to sleep in ONE TIME and soon enough you have to go out and essentially buy a new wardrobe

I wouldn't say she's shy about your relationship, but she isn't like screaming from the rooftops about it

Like the entire team didn't know you were together for months

Speaking of, she's a PDA hater. Like the most she'll do is lean on your shoulder in front of anyone she knows (she has a reputation!!)

Not to say she isn't WHIPPED though because you know she's down bad

Like all over you whenever you're alone. She's just a very private person.

Omg omg omg

Smoking with her

Totally imagining that you've never smoked before and she like teaches you how to roll one and you're like "she's so hot"

AND THEN

SHE LIKE CUPS YOUR FACE AS SHE LIGHTS IT and your brain short-circuits

"You good, pretty girl" and you're just silent and she's like "babe" "I'm fine." "You sure" "yup"

She's worried she broke you for a second

She also def does your makeup in her little emo bitch way but you kinda live for it

Sometimes you do hers too

Once you gave her like pink sparkly eyeshadow and she wore it to a party and everyone thought she was dying

She pulled it off though

Nicknames are a must. Like not only does she find a way to give you like 10 nicknames based on your real name, she also calls you shit like "pretty girl" and "princess"

Half the time though they're only used to make fun of you

Which she does all the time

Like she loves to tease you

Cannot be serious to save her life

But if you're sad she's like "what's wrong how do I help what do you want me to do"

And immediately you're like "🥰🤭" because how can you be upset when your girlfriend is right there being that sweet

Although sometimes when it's particularly shitty, you just like bury your head in her neck and she's like "😶😳" but she pretends to be so chill about it even though you literally feel her pulse speed up

Constantly complementing you. Like one time you said something like "idk I don't feel pretty :(" and then every time she sees you look in the mirror for too long or like trace your stretch marks she's like "you're so pretty baby" or "pretty girl" or "gorgeous"

Speaking of the stretch marks

She loves them. Like you wear a cropped shirt and she jus stares

For a while you were like "oh she hates them" until one day she just started absentmindedly tracing them and you realized she thought they were gorgeous

She also def kisses them any chance she gets. Like yall are just watching TV and she's lying on your stomach and she just gives one a little kiss

Using your thighs as a pillow >>>>>

Like she just lies on them and you play with her hair

Which she loves

Like you French braid it one time for a game and she now asks you to do it every day

And who are you to say no

MIXTAPES or if it's more modern she makes playlists

Like one for every major event with a mix of her fave songs and yours

I also think she's clumsy asf

Like constantly covered in random bruises and scrapes

And since she's pale as hell the bruises are so prominent

She can't drive. Like she's such a passenger princess

And if she could drive you wouldn't want her to

You help her paint her nails

Once you have her sparkles on the middle finger and she thought it was funny as hell

I think she's surprisingly a good cook

Like yall never go out for dates because she likes cooking for you and you like watching her

Like that's the only time she's not clumsy

She attempts to learn Italian but only remembers curse words and like pet names

And you don't really know which is which because she didn't tell you

She never yells when she's upset. She doesn't want to be her dad

Like any disagreement is a decently civil conversation

I mean there's a lot of cursing and angry tones but it's not a fight. It's a disagreement

She was very worried to meet your friends but they all love her

And she was also worried for you to meet her friends. Not because she thought you wouldn't like them or they wouldn't like you but because she was worried you'd be uncomfortable

But you like the whole team and they've never made you feel weird

Van constantly teases her about you though

I feel like Nat isn't much of a reader but she loves listening to you talk about books. And if you read to her? Oh it's over

She loves listening to you in general tbh. I think she's not a huge talker but you just yap on and on and she's just listening so intently

But when she does want to talk about something... you hang from her lips like nothing else matters

Her voice is like such a weakness to you and she knows it

When she needs reassurance she's horrible at saying so but she gets kind of quiet

After a while you just started pulling her in for hugs or kisses or whatever because she's such a physical touch girlie

And she melts every time

I also feel like she never initiates kisses but she loooves taking charge of them

Can you tell I'm insane for her yes or no

#natalie scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x reader #yellowjackets #yellowjackets season 1 #yellowjackets showtime #natalie scatorccio x curvy! reader #natalie yellowjackets #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets x reader #teen natalie #teen natalie Scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x y/n #natalie scatorccio x you

[smicksstuff]

Could you write more SMAU’s for Marc Guiu and Héctor Fort?

Secrets

hectorfort! x reader!, marcguiu!xreader!, siblings!xreader!

summary: join elizabeth as she makes her comeback into the football scene. rumours arise about her new bae but are the rumours true ? make shocking discoveries as ellie sets the record straight.

oc: Elizabeth (Ellie) Sainz

-

elliesainz

Barcelona

liked by hectorforrt_, marcguiu9, ybsf, pedri, and 157,874 others

elliesainz i’m back babyyyy !!

view comments

pedri looking stunning as ever !! 😍😍😍

elliesainz 🫶🏽

pablogavi mi favourito is back

elliesainz ❤️❤️

hectorforrt_ my partner in crime is back ❤️

elliesainz shits about to go downnnn

pablogavi no no not more pranks

elliesainz 🤨🤫🤐😈

hectorforrt also why does gavi get a pic and not me

elliesainz you refused to take one

pablogavi she just likes me more 🤫

hectorforrt geez the things i do for this girl and this is what i get 🙄

user1 “this girl” bros jealous his friend is getting more attention than him

user7 omg is she the one that people have been spotting with hector ?

marcguiu9 god i missed youu 🥹❤️ (comment deleted)

marcguiu9 besties back 😍

elliesainz never ever leaving again 😙

user1 geeez who is this girl ???

user2 she got all the boys whipped

user3 ngl she’s got me whipped tooo

user4 this is elliesainz she is a local restaurant owner. she has a little cafe bar in Barcelona called Offside. They have one of the best paellas and drinks. she is quite famous in the barca community !

user2 she aint nobody 😳

user6 she is one hot chef

liked by marcguiu9 and 829 others

user6 no way marcguiu9 just liked my comment

user7 bestiee is there smth going on ??

user8 ngl they would make a cute couple

user3 nahhh my bets are still on her and hector, they have known each other since forever.

-

hectorforrt_

Barcelona

liked by elliesainz, marcguiu9, user7 and 902,262 others

hectorforrt_ we are getting the gang back together

view comments

elliesainz i love you guysss 🥹🩷

marcguiu9 what will i do without you guys

hectorforrt_ absolutely nothing

elliegonzales i second that ✊🏽

marcguiu9 geez thanks guys 😑

user3 shipping hector and ellie so bad now

user7 same bestie, samee

-

elliesainz posted on her story

hector and chef - trending on X

text messages between hector and ellie

-

elliesainz & hectorforrt_

Barcelona

liked by hectorforrt_, pedri, marcguiu9 and 1,039,728 others

elliesainz thank you papa for my big brother who plays professional football. hectorforrt_ i love you but i love your friends a little more 😗❤️

view comments

hectorforrt_ can’t believe im being used for my friends

elliesainz but i said i love you 🥹

hectorforrt_ 🙄

elliegonzales 😞

user3 BROTHER ???? HERMANO ???

user3 hold UPP !! OMG ive been shipping them together for so long

user1 i need 1-3 years to get over this 🤡

user2 ngl i see the resemblance now

emilygonzales I CALLED THIS ON X

pablogavi FINALLY one less secret to keep

elliesainz i had to save you

marcguiu9 i love my sibling besties 🩷

hectorforrt_ yeah but you love me more

marcguiu9 depends

hectorforrt_ on what ?

marcguiu9 well she can cook. you cant do it to save your life

elliesainz awww you love me moree ✊🏼🩷

marcguiu9 🤐🤐🤐

user7 wait how are they related ??

user4 if im not wrong her dad remarried after her mom passed on.

user7 oh, im so sorry for her.

user4 i think its been a secret because her dad didnt want her to be in the media too much. he didn’t want her to be picked on given her past.

#football fanfic #football imagine #smau #football smau #fc barcelona #marc guiu #pablo gavi #hector fort #football au #football instagram au #instagram imagine #instagram au #insta edit #fake instagram #football #graduation #footballfanfic #request #pedri #yn x marc guiu #yn #short fiction #fc barca #barca

[katasstrophy]

I feel like I've seen every Bluelock boy paired with a very cute, very bubbly, and chill gf/reader before, but I haven't seen any of them paired with a cool and competent or even bossier type. Are there any guys you think of liking that type??? Or maybe just deserve that type to be kept in line lmao 🤣

nonnie!! 😳 NONNIE UR BRAIN I’M GIVING IT A THOUSAND KISSES UR SOOO RIGHT FOR THIS!!! i guess it doesn’t really show with the fics i’ve uploaded so far – which is a damn shame, i should fix that – but i am absolutely all for readers who are just… out there, ya know? they’re prickly, or easy to anger, or sardonic as all hell, or way too clever for their own good or yes yes, bossy<3 i eat that shit UP like it’s my last meal. this is not to say i don’t enjoy sweet, bubbly readers (bc i do!) but the type you describe just… scratches a certain itch iykwim 👁️👁️

i think one of my first posts ever about blue lock on this blog (cw. mid writing LMAO) was exactly about this. obviously most of the blue lock guys are only extreme egoists when they’re playing soccer, but i do think that aspect of their lives will ultimately start to bleed into their personality as they grow up/go pro. so having someone who’s just like “yeah that’s great and all but if you won’t make it to date night i’ll leave your sorry ass” is just. so sexy to them like?? they haven’t gotten their ego knocked down a peg in a while so i think they’d be drawn to a partner like that askdhxnbz idk if i’m explaining this very well but as far as i’m concerned all blue lock boys deserve an unhinged reader lol 😤

THAT BEING SAID!!! >:))) i have a top three list of blue lock men who i, personally, would love to put in their place and encourage anyone out there to do so as well LOL

1. MICHAEL KAISER — this cocky motherfucker ugh need i say more 🙄 the urge to censor his name was real strong but i persevered still cannot believe i’m (sadly) attracted to this horrible, horrible man. he’s sooo insufferable and just so obsessed with himself like he unironically refers to himself as the emperor when i tell you there’s nothing i want more than to make this man beg on his knees i mean it – what a pretty sight that would be hm? <3 all his past lovers probably treated him like he was god’s greatest gift to women (HE IS NOT) – and by now he’s not only used to it but comes to expect it – so when he meets you and you’re like “mm you’re kind of a prick leave me alone thenk yew✨✨” he’s just. so scandalized LMFAO suddenly he’s the one chasing after you and vying for a shred of your attention oooohh yes that’s exactly what he deserves how it should be

2. ITOSHI SAE — listen he might be my precious babygirl now but i used to hate this mans guts like no other and that little resentment still lives on in my heart in the form of wanting this man’s downfall to be a woman like don’t tell me that’s not the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. he’s just so single-mindedly focused on soccer – japan’s treasure and what not – and thinks he can get away with being an asshole because of it but you place down your foot and tell him to cut the bullshit or you’ll find someone who treats you better (AMEN SISTER) and suddenly he’s grappling with the reality that shit he might just fall apart without you yes girl make him suffer

3. OLIVER AIKU — i couldn’t not include the resident fuckboy here mmmm the possibilities for him are endless and each one more delicious than the last. he might not be as insufferable as the others but he still thinks extremely highly of himself, especially when it comes to his way with the ladies. typical “oh no i don’t do relationships” kinda guy who can show you a good time for a night before dipping in the morning – and you just don’t want that. so you reject his advances, say you’re not interested and move on, but for some reason, oliver can’t. literally physically wounds his pride when he crawls back for a second chance but you don’t budge, still wary of him due to his past behavior unless he can show you otherwise. and the way he scrambles to prove himself as trustworthy to you? god tier groveling from a man YUMM

#—ping! new message from (anon) #AKSHHDJD THIS GOT SO LONG AND RAMBLY AGAIN SORRY!! #but you have a fat juicy brain on you nonnie #idk if this is exactly what you wanted but these are the thoughts that jumped out so hope that’s okay!! <3 #blue lock x reader #—bllk.thoughts!

[betterthanburrow]

Bengals’ Social Media Admin - Instagram AU

(Bengals Quarterback! Joe Burrow x Social Media Admin! OC)

liked by yourinstagram and 336,470 more users

Bengals: Happy Birthday to us 🥳

view all 20,206 comments

officialskylinechili: Happy birth-Dey 🥳

username1: 56 years ago… DAMN, y’all are an old football team and still haven’t won a Super Bowl 🤣

yourinstagram: happy birthday to the best NFL team!

Chido: don’t forget it’s my birthday too!

↳ username2: why am i just finding out that me, Chido , and my favorite team have the same birthday?!

fccincinnati: Happy birthday 🎉

liked yourinstagram and 69,013 more users

CincyProblems: it looks like the Social Media Admin for the Bengals isn’t holding back today 🤣

view all 13,609 comments

username1: the Bengals have the best Social Media Admin out of all the football teams!

username2: did y’all see that Twitter thread on who the identity of the Bengals social media admin could be?!

↳ username3: wait no… i didn’t see the Twitter thread,

↳ username2: so basically one of the users that got a reply from the Bengals’ Twitter account posted how they got a notification from someone with the username @.yourTwitter that had responded to their tweet and then when they clicked the notification, the reply was deleted… but then a few seconds later, the same reply was posted by the Bengal’s Twitter team. (also the Bengals’ social media accounts and Joe Burrow follows Y/N on Twitter and Instagram).

liked by joeyb_finsta and 69 more users

yourfinsta: 😘 💻

view all 13 comments

finstagramBFF: YOU’RE GETTING EXPOSED BY FOOTBALL FANS ON TWITTER!

↳ yourfinsta: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

↳ finstagramBFF: there’s a Twitter thread going viral about how you’re the SM admin for the Bengals 😭💀

↳ yourfinsta: oh shit 😳

joeyb_finsta: I love how you’re taking selfies on your laptop while your secret identity has been discovered!

↳ yourfinsta: shut the fuck up JOEY and help me NOT GET FIRED from MY job!

↳ joeyb_finsta: i got you the SM admin job remember that… it’s not my job to help you KEEP the job!

↳ yourfinsta: alright, if i get fired from the admin job i’ll expose your finstagram… i bet all the tiktok girls and tumblr girls would LOVE to see all the after work out shirtless mirror selfies and headband selfies 😘

↳ joeyb_finsta: i’ll make some phone calls 🙄

liked by yourinstagram and 330,404 more users

Bengals: A hot debate 😂

view all 3,720 comments

camsample5: If they didn’t say Lebron they wrong

username1: the SM admin is posting this to try and make us forget that her identity has been exposed 😅

↳ username2: wait… is it a BAD thing that her identity has been exposed to football fans?!

↳ username3: i wouldn’t say it’s the WORSE thing ever because she’s never posted anything that could harm her in the real world… she just posts about the Bengals on IG, Twitter, and Tiktok. the only reason it would be a “bad thing” is if she didn’t want her identity to be revealed but her social media accounts are public and are followed by Joe Burrow, so maybe she never really tried to hide her identity.

bjhill5: I got the best step backkkkk!!! Nobody can check me 🤷🏾‍♂️

liked by joeyb_9 and 169,513 more users

yourinstagram: everything is better in orange 🧡

view all 51,309 comments

CincyProblem: miss social media admin is HOT 🥵

username1: the bengals have the funniest and most GORGEOUS social media admin… we really won!

username2: i’m a Bengals fan now because of you.

username3: the caption is right… everything IS BETTER in orange!

joeyb_9: sexy lil pumpkin.

↳ yourinstagram: PUMPKIN?!

Author’s Note:

this Instagram AU is inspired by the F1 Secret Admin Social Media AU series by @holllandtrash

if you have any requests for an IG AU, please send the requests in my Inbox and i’ll try to get the Instagram AUs published as fast as i can.

thank you all for the love and support! 🤍

#Joe Burrow #NFL #CFB #LSU Tigers #Cincinnati Bengals #Joe Burrow Fanfiction #Joe Burrow Fanfic #Joe Burrow Fic #Joe Burroe x Reader #Joe Burrow x OC #Joe Burrow x Y/N #Joe Burrow Instagram #Joe Burrow Instagram AU #Instagram #Instagram AU #NFL Fanfiction #NFL Instagram

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

🪓 Nerdy Prudes Must Die - Some Thoughts 🪓

I decided to rewatch NPMD (second day in a row 🙈) and wanted to write down some random thoughts and reactions because why the fuck not 😌

‼️ SPOILERS FOR NPMD BELOW ‼️

I loved this show from the second it started omg I love things about murder 🤭

“Riiiiichie… Riiiiiichie…” — kind of gave off IT vibes ngl

They really killed off Jon Matteson’s nerd character in the first 35 seconds 💀

“They twisted his nipples off 🤣” - WHY WAS HE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT

THE PROJECTION OF THE TITLE IN THE VICTIM’S BLOOD, STARKID HAD HELLA BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW 🙌🏻

“🎵I’m dead…the blood is arbitrating from my head🎵” needs to become a trending TikTok sound or something oh my fucking gOD

LAUREN YOU QUEEN 🙌🏻👏🏻 also living for that fucking wig

MARIAHHHHHHH 🎵❤️

Definitely felt the “High School is Killin’ Me” “I’m so fucking dead” in my soul even though I’m a full ass adult now

“I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problematic puppy” ROFL OMFG

Joey as Peter Spankoffski 😭👏🏻

ANGELA AS GRACE CHASITY HELL FUCKIN YEAH SHE IS EATING THIS PART UP

We all knew someone at school who snitched to the teachers lbh 💀

“So you don’t wanna be bullied?” “No, I wanna be invisible.” “…then why do you come to public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bow tie?” - PLEAAAASE 💀🤣

MICRO-PETER 😂💀

Joey taking off his glasses and going “oh god” under his breath, “IT’S NOT ACTUALLY A MICROPENIS”… oh he ATE the role, R*bert who?!?

“My titties are tenderised” - I MEAN SAME BUT-?!?

“I didn’t know you were funny.” “Neither did I.” “I like funny guys.” — I AM SORRY BUT IM ALREADY SHIPPING HARD

Actually obsessed with Richie’s hair and outfit like I can’t explain it other than I’m obsessed

IT’S MAX JÄGERMAN

“Ohh well there’s a difference between intent and impact - I learnt that at an anti bullying assembly last month, FUCK NUGGET” took me off guard tbh like I know I’m tired and easily surprised but still 🤭

GRACE CHASITY PROTESTING THE CO-ED HOMECOMING DANCE I CANNOT-

Jägerman is literally the archetype of the school bully jock who peaked in high school like omg but also he’s into Grace?!?!

“I run laps in the gym and I don’t want to slip on any SPUNK” - FUCKING HELL

“Can I carry your books for you?” “Carry my books? 🤢 I don’t think either of us are ready for that, I mean we’re only 18!”

“My little dirty girl.” — 😳😲😮‍💨

“I am only one man’s girl, Max, and his name is Jesus Christ!” — IM FUCKING HOWLING ANGELA KILLED THE DELIVERY OF THAT LINE I CANT-

“I’m a literal monster!” - oh so Max is self aware then 🤔

“This is politics, Stephanie 🙄 learn to multitask!”

I love that Starkid keep casting Corey as Mariah’s dad?!?

Stephanie is apparently her father’s “October surprise”… so her birthday is in October, like Hannah Foster’s? 🤔

“Stephanie, please, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you - in other words, shut up” - DAMN WHAT A BURN

NOOO NOT HER PHONE 😰 (I am also addicted to my phone so I get it lol)

NOT STEPHANIE THROWING HER HAND BETWEEN HER PHONE AND THE HAMMER OMFG (same though)

Mayor Lauter really said “I don’t give a shit if you lie, steal or cheat to get your grades up, just don’t get caught” - spoken like a true politician

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?!?” probably should not have resonated with me like it did 🤭

Peter trying to make a joke and Richie and Ruth not getting it is so relatable tbh

I’m obsessed with Ruth’s mushroom jumper tbh

“I just want someone to touch me… anyone, PLEASE” — ROFL (same girl)

“What was it like when she touched your arm?… DID YOU CUM?!?” — 💀💀💀💀

“You and Steph, it’s a fantasy - like a boy and his anime love pillows. It’s a beautiful dream, but I’ll never hold the real Rei or Asuka in my arms.” — I AM PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

“I’m such a loser, telemarketers hang up on me” 💀😭

DID RICHIE JUST FUCKING SAY “NANI!” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHOW 🤣

Richie and Ruth climbing Pete like a tree and demanding to know what Stephanie is saying is so ridiculously funny 😆

“Really, Ruth? A Star Wars analogy? Need I go into why Attack on Titan is superior in every possible way?” — STARKID UNDERSTAND THE NERDS I LOVE IT

“You’re telling me I gotta be funny again?!? I didn’t do it on purpose the first time!”

“Pete, you’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity - someone’s willing to tolerate your presence for a whole evening! This may never happen again!” — damn wish that would happen to me 😭🙈

Not Pete getting a boner during “Cool as I think I am” 🙈

Nooooo not Max finding Pete before he could go into the restaurant to meet Stephanie 😭

“I’m sick of your ssshhhhit!” — YES PETEY STAND UP TO HIM

The fact Max said “Rendezvous” as “Randay-Voose” 💀

The way it transitioned from “say your prayers” to the Chasity family going “AMEN” was PERFECTION

Grace’s father referring to his wife as “mother” is…something 💀

“He came up to me in the hallway and he asked if he could carry my books.” “Oh, Mark - I didn’t know that sort of thing happened at Hatchetfield High! Do you think you should call the boy’s father?” — ?!?!?!

“Mom, will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? (Chuckles nervously) I just want some head and butter. BREAD! Bread! Bread and butt-sex to go with this big shaft of meat I’m gonna choke down. Oh boy…oh criminy!” - THE SCREECH I GAVE WAS UNHOLY

“I’ve just got some butterflies in my tummy; and they’re flying REAL low today” 😭💀🙈

GRACE FANTASISING ABOUT MAX IN THE BATH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

“Brewing up a big ol’ pot of dirty girl soup” - ABSOLUTELY NOT 💀

HES FUCKING SHIRTLESS WHAT THE FUCK-

“Everyone’s got their secrets, and this one’s mine. I love… Jesus! 😃” - this was when I definitely knew she was fantasising because ain’t no fucking way-

WAS THE DIRTY GIRL SONG SUPPOSED TO BE VIEWED AS HOT BECAUSE I AM VERY FLUSTERED AND CONFUSED AND TOTALLY VIBING WITH THE TUNE

🎵 DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON’T YOU PRAY FOR ME🎵

You see, if Christian parents didn’t repress their teenager’s hormones and sexuality then MAYBE their teenagers wouldn’t resort to murder 🙃

Grace’s dad saying he’s going to get the plunger when she said she was doing a big poop 😭💀

Grace really thinks that impure thoughts only happen after marriage and I almost envy her innocence

“Money isn’t everything… looks are.” - yeah no that about sums people up in this day and age 😑

“We thought you were waifu material, but you’re just a bully” — NOT WAIFU MATERIAL 💀

PETE’S BLACK EYE NOOOO 😭🥺

Grace is kind of a psychopath and I’m loving that for her tbh

“I’m not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language” but she’s comfortable with filming someone getting terrified and pissing their pants 💀

The “the place is not structurally sound” comment was DEFINITELY foreshadowing

“I get pus in my pits!” Jesus ☠️

🎵🤌🏻we’re gonna bully the bully🤌🏻🎵

“We’re gonna cut off his nips!” - what is with the obsession with n!pples in this show 😳

I’M SORRY BUT THIS IS ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT KEEPING THE BEANS COOL

“You’re like super nice to me 😀” “…not really. I’m just doing the bare minimum here.” “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” “Oh, that’s sad!” — 😂😅🤣

“Okay, Richie, be honest… Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda” — OH FUCKING GOD IM CACKLING

“You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown” 💀 FOURTH WALL BREAK?!?

Max must be VERY drunk because ain’t no way he thought Pete was a ghost or Ruth was actually a skeleton 💀

“Grace, we gotta abort the plan, it’s not working!” “It’s working for me, he’s so violent! 😍”

Not Max actually being touched by them putting this whole thing together for him 💀 very much giving off himbo vibes and I love him for that

MAX FELL THREE STOREYS

Oh my GOD THE FUCKING MAKE UP ON MAX FOR HIS DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT

“NERDY! PRUDES! MUST! DIE!” — oh hey it’s the name of the show! 😃 And also it was written on the wall in… oh 😳

“I did get a lot of incriminating footage of us luring him here with malicious intent!” - uh oh

“My god! We’re going to jail! And with my luck, no one will even bother making me their bitch!” — PLEASE 💀

“It wasn’t murder, and it wasn’t an accident… it was an act of God! 😇” - Grace is UNHINGED

“No more tickling in our mommy spots!” - OUR WHAT SPOTS?!?

“🎵🤌🏻 We’re gonna bury the body! 🤌🏻🎵”

“Oh no she’s snapping again”

“I just cut off his nips 😌” - again with the nips?!?

DAN AND DONNA 😃😃😃

“Two weeks of heartache” - cut to all of his classmates happy without his influence 💀

STEPH PASSED THE TEST! 😃

“Ya know, this is really your C+.” “Oh Steph… you can keep it. It’d really bring down my GPA.”

Steph asking Pete out to the football game 🥹😁 we love to see it!

GO GO NIGHTHAWKS! 😃🦅 (I know it’s an eagle emoji there’s no hawk emoji 🙈)

“N, I-G, H-T… *squawk squawk* Ks!” 👏🏻🙌🏻

Richie is the team mascot and they wanted/needed him in the huddle 🥹

They apologised for bullying him 😭👏🏻

“And we’d like to apologise in advance for if Max ever comes back, ‘cause we’ll probably go right back to doing it”

“Fuck Clivesdale! Fuck ‘em straight to hell! Assholes!” — AGREED! 👏🏻

I’m 90% sure Jon actually struggled with taking that mascot top off but it worked well with the scene so 😌

“I love being alive! 😃” — oh he’s so about to fucking die, isn’t he?

IT’S MAX CALLING FOR RICHIE HES BACK FROM THE DEAD

MAX’S COSTUME/MAKE UP IS AMAZING OH MY GOD 😌💅🏻

“Should’ve joined the smoke club you nerdy prude” — ANOTHER SMOKE CLUB REFERENCE

Every song on this soundtrack fucking slaps I LOVE IT

There’s not very many men that can pull off being absolutely absolutely fucking terrifying while dancing and singing across the stage but Will Branner managed it so kudos to him

The bit where Richie was repeating what Max said (“who will pray for me? When I’m gone?”) was INSANELY GOOD

“What did they find? You don’t say…you don’t say!” “What’d they find, dad?” “They didn’t say” - 💀

“Oh heck… I’m so hecking fudged”

“*relieved* Oh well we don’t know anything about that one!” “Or ANY one!”

“Maybe it’s a coincidence. People tell me to die every day!” — Okay why is Ruth kind of me 😭

THE FUCKING CAMEOS IN “HATCHET TOWN” ASDFGHJKL?!?! ZIGGY?! MAN IN A HURRY?!? GERALD MONROE?!?

“Ohhh I remember before the lockdown” - yeah me too 😅

THE BARBECUE MONOLOGUES GOT ME HOLLERING 💀

Ruth walking onto the stage and into the spotlight 🥺 literally she was me this whole scene omg I relate so hard to most of what she said ASDFGHJKL

Lauren ATE that song up by the way

MAX KILLED HER BY WEDGIE-ING HER IN TWO AND THEN PUT THE PANTS OVER HER HEAD WHAT THE FUCK MAX 😭

Him telling her to “project” so those in the back row could hear her triggered me so bad as an actor omg 😳

Grace really accusing the entirety of Clivesdale 💀

As soon as the WWJD bracelet was brought up I KNEW what was going on 😭

“Who’s plan was it, Grace?” “It was God’s plan! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! Do something, you son of a bitch!” 💀😅🤣

Grace has lost her fucking SHIT and I fully support that for her

“Show Me Your Hands” musical refrain?!

BEANIES?!? PAUL AND EMMA?!? 😭😭😭 ITS FUCKING PAUL AND EMMA I CANNOT-

“Cup of roasted coffee” refrain too?!?

PAUL GAVE EMMA HIS NUMBER 😭❤️

PAUL + EMMA IN EVERY SINGLE TIMELINE, EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSE-

“EXCUSE ME I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND I STILL HAVE NOT RECIEVED MY GODDAMN HOT CHOCOLATE” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂 I FUCKKING CANT IM DONE

🎵”Don’t need a lover boy need a lover man / sure I’m a sapiosexual and you’re intellectual but I’ll cut my lover losses when I can” 🎵 — this song goes so hard omg

Grace pushing between them and shouting “leave room for Jesus!” 💀

“Do we need to get ahold of Ruth?” “Good luck getting ahold of her. Does your phone pls cover calls to hell?” “…Hell?” “She’s bisexual and dead, where else would she be?!?” — 💀

Grace whipping out the gun and telling Steph to cool her beans was so iconic of her

“(Canadian accent) ‘Cause if I’m going down, you hosers comin’ with me, eh” — OH MY FUCKING GOD

Doesn’t shock me a cop would arrest Paul for zero fucking reason, fuck the police 💀

“All I wanted was to be a regular girl with no sexual desire until she was safely married 😭” the FUCK-

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fuckin’ weird” 💀

“I don’t give a shit who you kill - but you just had to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?” — Mayor Lauter really said “murder is fine but NOT in that specific house, you fucking idiots”

THE LORDS IN BLACK?!? 😃 WIGGLY AND BLINKY AND POKEY AND NIBBLY AND TINKY?!?!? FUCK YEAAAAHH

“She gave me head in her car - check it out!” *throws Miss Tessburger’s head onstage* — BRO THE FUCK

WELP I GUESS MAYOR LAUTER IS DEAD THEN?!?

“Detective Shapiro, are you a woman of faith?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no” — THE FUCK GRACE 😑

They’re really about to summon five otherworldly entities who are evil I’m-

The Summoning screams CRACK and I’m living for it

“Hello Fwendy-Wends” - SCREAMING LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING

“WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE” TOOK ME OUT ASDFGHJKL

SHE CHERISHES PETE 😭

“Pay the price or fuck off” 💀

Can I just say that I need would love a show specifically just about the Lords in Black fucking about and it’s Jon the whole time as Wiggly exactly as he was during the Summoning scene because that was AMAZING IM SHAKING-

The fact Pete cherishes Steph and she cherishes him oh my hEART 😭

“Hey Steph, if things were different, would you wanna come to homecoming with me?” “I’d like that, Pete. I’d really like that.” - SHUT THE FUCK UP NO 😭😭😭

Not Max saving Pete from being shot 💀

“So you do know the Bible!” — GRACE OMG IM SCREECHING HELP

“But Jesus never threw a football like you, Max” - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Max being confused about what dirty girl soup is and then being turned on when she explains 😭💀

“Take me, Max, right here on the 50 yard line!” — oh dear gOD

Max’s struggle over whether to kill Steph and Pete or whether to bang Grace omfg 😭😅

THE NOISES OFF STAGE OMFG WTAF 😭💀😂😅🤣

Grace got Max kicking his feet, twirling his hair, after one shag, just like a teenage girl 💀 I’m crying so hard with laughter I can’t cope with it-

GRACE GAVE HIM HER CHASTITY AND SACRIFICED WHAT SHE CHERISHED MOST ASDFGHJKL

PETE AND STEPHANIE AT HOMECOMING TOGETHER ASDFGHJKL ✨T H E M ✨

Grace choosing not to get the dance cancelled and she brought a date?!? That’s character development! 😀

She let Jason walk her home?!? O_o and then asked him to kiss her?!?!

“That was… absolutely disgusting! Really, Jason?!? Kissing on the first date?!?” Oh noooo 💀

“You’re a dirty perv, Jason”

SHES GOT THE FUCKING BLACK BOOK IS SHE SUMMONING THEM AGAIN

🎵DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE🎵

Well thIS TOOK A FUCKING TURN DAMN

Anyway, 11/10, immaculate, amazing, incredible, show-stopping, would recommend to everyone of course and will definitely be rewatching it a LOT 🪓

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid #team starkid #joey richter #mariah rose faith #angela giarratana #lauren lopez #jon matteson #curt mega #kim whalen #will branner #corey dorris #grace chasity #peter spankoffski #pete spankoffski #richie lipschitz #stephanie lauter #ruth fleming #max jagerman #mariah rose faith casillas

[foullegacyslut]

xiao and kazuha (sep) x f!reader giving them a boobjob?!?! 😍

I need food pls 🤕🤕🤕🙏

😳 ofc

eheheh i’m getting all giddy writing this because i’ll never get to do this i got no titties 😭 but i can dream.

Giving them a boobiejob <3

Kaedehara Kazuha

He’s a blushing mess, looking down at you with loving eyes, groaning and praising you ever so often, petting your hair while you do it. so i’m a big kazuha simp i kinda projected myself onto this one mb 😭

You walked into Kazuhas room, he’s been stressed lately, and you wanted to help him… calm down.

“I sensed a familiar scent on the wind. i knew you would be coming” he smiled and gestured you to sit next to him. instead you kneeled on the floor, resting your head on his lap.

“Mm? What’s this all about, my muse?” He grinned and stroked your hair.

“You’ve been all.. you know.. tense! and i want to let you.. feel better.. you know?” You we’re trying to be indirect about it, it made you shy to talk about this.

“Oh? I- I get what you mean.” He stuttered on his words, turning pink in the face. “I appreciate that. You may..you may go ahead and do it if you wish.”

You pulled down his hakama gently, his erection now fully visible. He looked away, covering his face. You proceeded to lift your shirt up, exposing yourself to him. It was big, and you had no idea how you were gonna fit that between your tits.

“Mm.. no matter how many beautiful scenes i may see in my travels, nothing compares to your body and face.” He chuckles at you shying away while doing something like this.

You finally put his cock between your boobs, squishing them together for more friction and coverage. He groaned in pleasure, gently looking at you, getting harder at the sight of you doing such lewd acts. You slowly started moving up and down, blushing in embarrassment as he watched you intently, moaning whenever you moved.

“Ah- Songbird.. ngh.. archons that feels-so good.. mhm.. you’re doing so well..” He mumbled.

“Im glad you’re enjoying this. it’s good for stress relief i heard.” You smiled sweetly. As you sped up your pace, he moaned louder, breathing heavier.

“I’m-Im close!.. Don’t stop.. ah that feels so fucking good baby..”

You’ve never head kazuha use profanities, ever. That was a telltale sign you were doing really good, and that made your heart race.

“Excuse my language.. Sorry sweethea- ahngh!”

You cut him off by going faster and paying more attention to the tip.

“Archons.. i’m gonna cum…” He groaned as you went faster after you heard that, desperate to make him cum.

“Good- Good girl.. Good girl! Im about to-“ He moaned out your name and thrusted his hips up as he came all over your face and tits. He apologized profusely for making such a mess of you. He caressed your face delicately, smearing his cum over your cheeks. you licked a bit off your lips, making his heart pound out his chest.

“You look so cute like this. Hmm.. i should finish on your face more.. you seem to enjoy this quite a bit, beautiful.” he brought his finger to your mouth, covered in cum, so you licked it off. hm? tastes good.

“Ah.. you seem to like that.. then scratch my other idea, i should cum in your mouth then.” He smiled. “let’s get cleaned up alright? i’ll run you a bath and we can cuddle after.

(you guys did cuddle with an extra little makeout because why not also the bath was nice it was warm and he praised you a lot) (my fucking sweetheart i love him sm)

Adeptus Xiao

bro is whinin and shi he ain’t ever got a woman to touch him in like a millenia he’s too busy slayin demons n shit 🤬 he’d rather kill demons than touch titties? mid.

“XiaoXiao?” You called out. You and Xiao were living together in the inn now. “Xiaooo!” You exclaimed a second time. Where is he? You approached his room, about to knock, before you heard groaning.

“Xiao?” You opened the door to see your lover with his hand wrapped around his cock.

“Ngh-Ah!? You- You need to knock! Don’t just walk in on people like that..” He groaned.

“Um.. Need a hand?” You offered. It’s not like you haven’t done stuff like this before.

“What are you talking about? Are you crazy? What could i possibly- Oh. You mean.. this.” he glanced at his twitching erection. “Fine.”

You smiled, then walked his way, kneeling to the floor. Then you lifted your shirt.

“So.. big. What do mortal females need.. these for anyways?” He says, trying to hide the fact that he enjoys seeing your boobs.

You simply giggled and took his cock between your tits. He groaned loudly, gripping the sheets.

“Do you like that?” You asked.

He hissed between his teeth, not wanting to admit a mortal made him feel so.. good.

You started bouncing yourself up and down up and down his cock, your boobs bouncing with every movement.

“Shit.. Im gonna cum.” He whined.

You sped up, squishing your boobs together for him, finally hearing him mumble something under his breath before he finished on you.

“You.. ngh.. you’re way too good at that.” He groaned, proceeding to get up and gesture for you to follow him. “Are you just going to sit there with my seed on your face? get yourself cleaned up.”

(he ended up doting on you, cleaning you up and kissing your forehead and letting you sleep on him even though he was the tired one)

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #xiao genshin #xiao smut #xiao x reader #xiao x reader smut #kaedehara x reader #kazuha genshin x reader #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader smut #kazuha smut #KAZUHAS MY SWEET BABY

[c0ffee-stain]

HIII! i wanna request a five x fem!reader where they like hate each other but the reader always goes to five if theyre anxious or nervous and like when they saw the kugelblitz they like held onto fives hand for like comfort and five was like 🤔😳 and didnt let go or do anything then after (at the like party) five pulled them aside and kinda asked them abt it and theh got pretty nervous and their ears turned really red (five notices this) and they were like “just instinct” and walked away

then at the wedding (blackout drunk) five asks again and the readers like “oh yeah” and they both stare at each other and just start laughing

THEN LIKE theyre goofing around and they go silent and just stare at each other and the reader glances to his lips and then after a couple seconds they kiss and theyre like pretty awkward but then they both get the message so they kiss again.. and then they go to the room (AGAIN THEY R COMPLETELY DRUNK) and just pass out in each others arms

when they wake up the reader flies up from fives arm and is like “oh shit” then fives like ”what was that abt” “i literally hate you dont even.. what typa girl do u take me for?” and then five says “hey my head might be reeling and the world might be spinning but didnt we kiss.. like 5 times” the reader is completely shocked by this cuz they remember VERY CLEARLY and theyre like “uhm no.. what? r u ok?” theyre whole body is red and flamming atp. the readers like checking themselves in the mirror and five creeps up behind them, puts his head on their shoulder and is like “so why is ur lipstick on my chin and on the corner of my lips?” “cuz ur a freak” “ur face and ur ears are very red right now” THE READER IS ON THE VERGE OF DYING “..im hungry ill see you later weirdo.. dickhead…asshole.” five grabs the readers forearm and kisses them..🤭 the reader looks at five and fives like “do you like me?” “no fuck off” five points at the lipstick and they kiss him “maybe a little bit. or a lot.” “oh?” “okbyeseeyoulater” the reader walks out and five shouts “i love you” “SAME” the reader says while running down the hall to the bathroom.

THIS WAS PRETTY LONG IM SO SORRY!! 😞 HAVE A GOOD ONE LOVE YA!

Instincts like no other

F.Hargreeves x f!reader

The kugelblitz. Ball of lightning. Apocalypse no.3. Whatever you'd prefer to call the glowing orb of an abomination containing hundreds and thousands of mini blackholes collapsing into themselves at an alarming rate. It was living proof that everything we've attempted to do to stop the apocalypse was for nothing.

All the pain, all the sacrifice, all the bloodshed...

It was ultimately done for nothing.

Soon enough I was going to join the billions of victims that were obliterated by the kugel-waves, and let myself slip into the eternal sleep of death.

I knew it was going to be swift. I probably won't even notice the atoms of my body dissolve all at once. But no matter to how painless the death was going to be, I couldn't help but be terrified of that eternal darkness that was mere hours away from consuming me whole.

Absolutely terrified.

Well, that was if the plan brought up by Sloane and Five came to an abrupt failure, which would cause one of the largest and catastrophic kugel-waves to ever be produced, wiping out all remaining things in existence.

I held my breath and bit down on my tongue as I watched Sloane activate her power and levitate over the kugelblitz. She then began to manipulate its own gravity, condensing the orb. On signal, Viktor and Lila produced a sphere of energy to encase the kugelblitz and keep its vibrations constant.

I held my breath and bit down on my tongue. Everything could go so wrong so quick. The slightest alter of its vibration and... boom. We all cease to exist. I dug my nails into my palms, leaving multiple crescent marks that were deep enough for anyone to see.

I turned my head, noticing a certain Hargreeves standing beside my anxious figure. Five Hargreeves. One of the most annoying people I had ever met. The way he spoke, the way he moved, the way he looked. It all contributed to my burning hatred for the man-child, and vice versa. However, despite the hatred between the two of us, we had also formed an odd sort of trust while preventing the past apocalypses. One very different to the one we had whilst working as the analyst who assigned his tasks in the field back at the Commission. That was based on pure survival instincts. But this...

This was based on a trust that no matter what grudge we held against the other, we'll still be there by each others side.

It was calming and familiar. And at this point, that was all I needed.

Subconsciously, I let my hand slip into his and squeezed it tightly both from fear and the need to be close to someone that I understood. And ironically, he was the most complicated person that I knew.

Unbeknownst to Five, he served as a sort of safe haven to me. Someone I could go to and just bathe in their presence when feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Even something as pointless as an argument over the best sugar to coffee ratio would wash away my worries. But the problem was that I hate him.

How could I feel this way towards somebody I hate?

Probably just my hormones going crazy from being aged down to my ripe 18 year old self.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Hormones.

Expecting Five to give me an irritated look and push away, I was left surprised when he clenched my hand in response, grazing his thumb along my knuckles. I turned my head slightly to see a small tint of pink spread through his cheeks, and his eyes open slightly wider then usual in what seemed to be shock from both my action and his response.

I hate him and he hates me.

That's how it was meant to be.

____

All of us watched eagerly as a pop of the cork and a fizzle followed by a burst of champagne erupted into the sky. Ben brought the bottle to his lips and let the alcohol shoot into his mouth.

Everyone neared their glasses and filled them with champagne to the brim and danced, celebrating the end of the third- first for the sparrows- apocalypse.

'Another one bites the dust' played loudly out of the boombox which suited the situation perfectly. I smiled watching both academy's dance to the beat together and at last, putting their differences aside.

I brought the glass to my lips and tilted my head back, allowing the drink to go down my throat. An arm wrapped around my shoulders bringing me close, making me almost spill my drink.

I looked up to see Lila grinning down at me before saying in a sing-song voice, "Someone's got the hots for Five..."

Luckily, the music was playing too loudly for anybody else to hear. I turned and faced the woman, trying to play off my face heating up as the alcohol simply taking effect. "Oh, yeah? Is it Christopher? Or one of Fei's crows?"

Lila laughed. "No, not quite. For starters its a girl around his age- both physically and mentally. She has h/c hair and gorgeous e/c eyes. Ring any bells?"

I opened my mouth only for the words to get stuck in my throat. Finally, I croaked out. "I don't... I don't know what you mean." I averted my eyes from Lila, slightly embarrassed, only to see Luther perform his… odd crab dance.

However, she smirked and nodded her head towards the right. I furrowed my brows and looked, only to see the one person I really didn't want to talk to, approach me.

"Y/n, can I talk to you?" Five then looked up at Lila who was now resting her chin on my head. "Alone." He stated more than asked.

"I'll leave you two lovebirds to it then. Don't have too much fun-" Before Lila could finish her sentence, Five had already blinked us both out of the hall and into a random room with a small coffee table and a few chairs.

"Um, what's up Five?" I attempted to ask casually but failed.

The boy looked at me, analysing my features with a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite understand.

"What was that earlier, y/n?" Five asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.

Once again, the words got stuck in my throat when I tried to respond. What would I even say to that? What did he expect me to say?

“When you held my hand," The boy asked firmer now. He wanted- no. He needed answers. "What was that?”

My face started to heat up and the tips of my ears burned red. Five noticed this almost immediately, helping him confirm some of the many thoughts that had been stirring in his mind for weeks now.

“Just instinct, I guess.”

Five watched as I walked away in a rushed manner, leaving him completely and utterly shocked.

Just instinct? Just instinct? No, that was nowhere near enough to satisfy the Hargreeves brain. To comfort himself from his never ending thoughts, Five returned to the conclusion that:

He hated me. And I hated him.

That’s how it was meant to be.

And that's how it was going to stay.

____

“I pronounce you married as shit. Viva la apocalypse!”

When first hearing Luther and Sloane announce they were engaged within less than a week of knowing each other, much like everyone else, I thought it was insane to say the least. However, watching the two of them embrace the other, joy practically radiating off of their features, I still did think it was crazy. But, a good sort of crazy.

I think.

Sure, the universe was now doomed and half the people here were in the middle of an existential crisis, but when has that ever not been the case?

I didn't even have time to process the information before Sloane dragged me away and appointed me to be her maid of honour and assigned me all these tasks to accomplish in an unreasonable amount of time.

But in the end, it was worth it. Mostly because I was planning to get black out drunk... and another selfish reason. I was curious as to how an acquaintance of mine was going to look this evening. Was he going to be wearing one of his signature outfits that screamed 'old man' and 'no style', or was he going to be dressed similarly to how he used to when back at the Commission? With a striking black or navy suit with his hair slicked back and- I shook my head, trying to rack my mind free of all the impure thoughts running free.

Despite the effort, I was immediately winded when I first saw Five step out of the elevator, dressed exactly how I feared him to be.

I was screwed.

After the ceremony, everyone split into either small groups or by themselves as they went to occupy a table. I sat alone, letting myself criticize how careless I had become with my feelings- no, hormones, and how I let them take control of my actions.

I drowned myself with the bittersweet taste of alcohol trying to seek a sweet relief.

"Ah, y/n! How would you like to dance?" Klaus asked, dragging me by the forearm without bothering to hear my response.

I laughed, drunk, and let the man lead me to the dancefloor where the newlywed couple and Diego and Lila were dancing. He took my hands and started to jump around whilst shimmying. I copied him and laughed while the others jumped around, doing their own hilarious dances.

"Fun, right?"

"Yeah!" I exclaimed over the booming music.

"Hey, hey." Klaus hushed, discretely getting my attention. I furrowed my brows in response, waiting for the man to proceed. "I think Five wants to dance with you."

"What?"

"Yeah, he's been glaring at me the entire time. It's hilarious!"

I turned around, my eyes meeting the boys, before he quickly looked away and took another long sip of his drink. Klaus patted my back, signalling for me to go to him and went to join Ben.

I walked towards the lonely boy, stumbled actually from the large amount of liquor in my system, and stuck my hand out towards him. "Dance with me." I demanded.

"What?!"

I rolled my eyes, "Dance with me! It's the end of the world for Gods sake! Or are you scared?"

He raised an eyebrow and gave in to my request.

Five got up and let a cocky smirk adorn his features. "As long as you can keep up." He took my hand and pulled me in close, as a slow romantic song started to play. He placed a hand on my back and another holding mine.

"What's wrong? Never danced with a man before?" He asked, noticing my hesitance and the sudden tense of my body.

"Oh, please Five. You're hardly a man with that height. More of a passive aggressive toddler." I smirked, not missing a beat.

Five raised an eyebrow and tried to stop an amused smile from stretching on his lips. Eventually he laughed causing me to do the same.

Catching me off guard, he spun me around and dipped my body, staring at my drunken eyes, then to my lips and back. He finally lifted me back up and let his hand that supported my back, slide down to my waist.

"Watch it, Hargreeves."

"What, it's not like it's my fault." Five neared his lips to my ears and whispered, letting his breath that reeked of alcohol hit my skin. "It's just instincts, right?"

"I- um..." I cleared my throat. "I think you're drunk, Five."

"I think you're also drunk, y/n. Very drunk.”

“Piss off.” I muttered under my breath as I attempted to move away. But Five just pulled me back each time, his grip tighter on my waist.

“What was that about, y/n?” He squeezed my palm slightly, watching my face flush red. The boy chuckled deeply, gazing at my newly embarrassed figure.

Five couldn’t help but let his eyes drop to my lips for a second too long and let his mind wonder to how soft they'd feel pressed against his. Or how sweet they'd taste with the scent of bittersweet champagne lingering in my breath and most likely smeared on my lips. He wanted to kiss me all over, feel my body pressed against his. But he couldn't. However, the stunning red silk dress that hugged all my curves perfectly and the different liquors mixed in his system were only making it harder for him to deny all the feelings he had pent up for months- years even.

He hated me. But he needed me.

And unbeknownst to him, I was thinking the same thing.

As the song started to reach its climax, I noticed Five was deep in thought. "It seems I'm correct." I said, finally gaining his attention. The boy looked up to see me grin. "Little number Five got intimidated." I sang. My words swayed into the other at once, and my voice slightly slurred. My drunken confidence was back.

But unfortunately, not for long.

"Oh, really?"

I laughed and glanced at his lips as they formed into a small knowing smirk. I shot my eyes back up to see Five looking right at me with a look that filled me with both fear and excitement.

Lust.

The world seemed to stop spinning and the music and voices around us were silenced into incoherent muffles, until it was only the two of us gently swaying on the dancefloor.

No one else.

Just the two of us and our drunken lustful thoughts.

What a dangerous combination.

Five's hand slowly travelled to cup my face, as I placed my hands on the back of his neck. We both slowly pulled the other in, our lips merely millimetres away and staring at each other with half-lidded eyes. Finally, Five pulled me in unable to wait any longer, my lips hitting his for a gentle kiss. Five pulled me in closer by my waist so no space was left between us.

I pulled away and looked at the equally as flustered, maybe even more, Hargreeves.

"What just happened?" I breathed out, my heart hammering loudly against my chest. Whilst my thoughts were screaming at me to run and get away before it was too late, I secretly wanted it to be too late.

In the midst of the silence, we both grew eager to kiss once more.

"Fuck it." Five pulled me in once more for another kiss, one that immediately took my breath away. He was a rougher this time, and smirked once I started to kiss him back. His hand slowly slithered down to my thigh, making me gasp. I moved my hand to his hair, pulling it slightly, causing the boy to release the slightest groan. Out of breath, I pulled away and leaned my forehead against his. That's when I noticed we were no longer in the hall. Five had blinked us upstairs to the hallway opposite the endless row of hotel rooms.

We both looked at each other for a moment. Skin hot, breathing heavy, and minds intoxicated.

I grew impatient for the feeling of Five's breath entangled with mine, so I grabbed his tie and pulled him in.

We shared a long passionate kiss, our bodies slamming into nearby objects as we tried to find a free room. He lifted me off my feet, wrapping my legs around his waist. Five pushed my back against a door, only for it to slam open, making me fall back onto the carpeted floor with Five landing on top of me.

"Your ears are red..." He hummed. The boy placed a line of kisses along my jawline.

"Your whole face is red." I chuckled, half from the deep crimson hue on the boys face, and half from the ticklish feeling from Five's gentle kisses.

Five detached his lips from my jaw. "You're so beautiful, y/n."

I let a soft smile grace my lips and placed a flurry of kisses down his neck. "I could say the same thing about you, Five."

____

"Shit..." I blinked my heavy eyes open and looked around my surroundings in a daze. My head was pounding from last nights accomplishments of finishing every drink that I found. And I had found a lot. That's when my eyes set to the male besides me who was sleeping peacefully, his arms wrapped around me as if I was a teddy bear.

"Oh, shit." I flew up from his arms, definitely waking the boy, and got off of the bed in a hurry. I looked around the unfamiliar room and down at my clothes, and sighed relieved.

"What's with the hurry?" Five asked, his voice deep.

"This can't be happening." I muttered to myself. "I literally hate you-"

Making me jump in surprise, Five blinked in front of me, slight confusion laced in his features. Even when being shocked with the fact that I was laying peacefully in his arms, I couldn't tear my eyes away from how good his dishevelled hair looked.

Fuck, what is wrong with me?

"You didn't hate me last night."

"What do you mean?" I asked clearly aware of last nights antics and was secretly praying that he didn't remember.

"I know I was blackout drunk but," I watched Five lick his lips and drag his fingers through his hair, which I couldn't doubt was attractive. "didn't we kiss...over 5 times?"

"What? No, not at all!" I forced out a laugh. I faced a large full length mirror and scanned my figure while neatening my dress. I noticed how hot and prickly my skin had become, and everytime my mind replayed last nights actions, it didn't help at all.

Five, deciding to torture me further by playing dumb, rested his chin on my shoulder and smirked. "Then why is there lipstick on my collar, darling y/n?"

I swallowed thickly. "Because you're a freak."

He traced his index finger over the shell of my ear. He placed a small kiss on my cheek and said, "Your face and your ears are very red right now. Perhaps redder than last night."

I opened my mouth to respond, only for my mouth to dry up and the words to be lost inside my throat. I had to get out. Now.

"I'm leaving."

"Why?"

"I'm hungry, dipshit."

"You're not even moving."

"Well, now I am." I walked towards the door, only for the boy to grab me by my forearm and give me a short surprising kiss on my lips.

I froze completely, staring at Five with wide eyes.

"Do you like me?"

"No get over yourself, weirdo."

However, no matter what I said, the boy would point to the lipstick smeared on his collar and even his neck.

"Maybe... Maybe a little bit." Five pulled me closer, his eyebrow raised. He was clearly amused with how this was all going.

"Or a lot." I looked away, not daring to meet Five's eyes.

"Oh?"

"Okay! See ya later!" I ran out of the room, smacking my cheeks to try knock me out of whatever daze a certain assassin had put me in.

But the second Five raised his voice and yelled, "I LOVE YOU!", all hopes for me to recover were gone as I practically burst into flames.

"ME TOO!"

I couldn't deny it any longer. I love him. Always have and always will. I love the way he spoke, the way he moved, the way he looked. It all contributed to my love for a certain Hargreeves with instincts just like mine.

#the umbrella academy #five hargreeves x y/n #five hargreeves x you #five #five hargreeves x reader #five x you #five x y/n #five hargreeves #number five #five x reader #tua x reader #tua netflix #tua fanfic #tua #umbrella academy fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #umbrella academy #request #tua request

[breckstonevailskier]

This will always be my favorite scene from The Boys

I mean, it's a really great scene, it's the scene that got me interested in the show, and worthy of me trying to do some breakdowns.

The scene opens with Stan Edgar watching Victoria Neuman talking on CNN NNC about the Supe-Terrorist threat. An innocuous thing, at first, but there's a few things going on that are apparent with the hindsight of later episodes:

It actually tells us that Victoria herself is the head exploder supe long before the reveal in the season 2 finale, given that this scene immediately follows her having remotely exploded Raynor's head.

Stan is watching intently because he understand the importance of knowing what the opposition is saying about you. Doubly so considering that Victoria is meant to function as a puppet opposition of sorts to Vought. (Though I imagine that this is changing in light of recent events like Homelander threatening her daughter to get her to betray Stan, her injecting her daughter with Compound V, and Gen V ending with her having obtained Dr. Edison Cardosa's Supe-killing virus.)

With the later reveal in season 3 that Victoria is Stan's adopted daughter, he's also watching her because he's proud of the life and reputation she's made for herself as a politician, and it's a good thing she's ended up doing this instead of rotting away in one of Vought's other secret Supe labs. That might actually explain some of Stan's annoyance when Homelander walks in.

Homelander walks in, having barged past Stan's secretary.

Homelander: Morning. Samantha: Mr. Edgar, I'm sorry- Stan Edgar: It's all right, Samantha. Homelander: Busy day?

----

Stan brushes off his receptionist's apology because well, he doesn't blame her. Saying "no" to Homelander's probably one of the most difficult jobs in the world.

Now, at this point, as Homelander starts to complain about the whole thing with Stan appointing Stormfront. Stan plays along with appealing to Homelander's ego. Homelander's obviously frustrated that Stan isn't intimidated or scared by his threats. In fact, Stan seems amused by Homelander trying to throw his weight around.

----

Stan Edgar: Good morning, Homelander. To what do I owe the pleasure? 🤔 Homelander: Well, you never come up to 99. So, I figured I'd pay you a visit. 😊 Stan Edgar: What a lovely idea. 😂

Homelander: Right? 😂 After all, you run a superhero company, and, uh, you never check in with your superheroes, do you? 🤔 Like, uh... oh, I don't know...around the hiring of that girl, for example. 🤨 Stan Edgar: You wished to be consulted on Stormfront? 🤔

Homelander: Well, why not? I signed off on all the rest. I'm the leader of the Seven. 🙎‍♂️

Stan Edgar: For which you have my undying respect. 😉

Homelander: See, I don't think I do. 🤨 No. Not even Madelyn would've dared to try and pull this kind of shit. 😠

Stan Edgar: Well of course, you know how important you are to everyone at Vought! 😂😂

Homelander: No, no. Stan. I am Vought. You show my photo to some illiterate fucking camel jockey in the middle of the Sahara, he's gonna turn around and say, "Homelander," in perfect American. 🇺🇸

Homelander: You know what? My contract's up at the end of this year. Maybe it's time I, uh, move on. How do you think your shareholders would feel about that? 🤔

It's at this point that Stan stares down Homelander for a solid ten seconds. There's no words, but you can practically see what each is thinking:

Stan Edgar: Your significance to this company is actually less than you think it is. And I'm about to give you the rundown on how that is.

Homelander: 😳 Fuck.

----

Now it's Stan's turn to assert his power over Homelander in this conversation.

Stan Edgar: What do you know about Frederick Vought? Homelander: Excuse me?

Stan Edgar: Frederick. Vought. Our esteemed founder. Homelander: Well, I don't know, um, not a lot, probably. I only read his autobiography...five times? 🤔 Stan Edgar: Not the self-serving bullshit that we peddle to the shareholders. The real story. 🤨

Homelander: Enlighten me. 🤨

Stan Edgar: Got his doctorate from Munich. 🇩🇪 Ahead of his time in genetics. Such the rising young star that in '39, Hitler appointed him chief physician at Dachau, where he enjoyed a ready supply of human subjects on which to test his earliest iterations of Compound V. For which we condemn in the strongest of possible terms. Early in '44, he felt the winds change, got spirited away to the Allies. When Oppenheimer was flailing with the bomb, Dr. Vought already had practical applications of Compound V tested in the field. Heroes like Soldier Boy, killing Germans by the dozen. So, Roosevelt pardoned him, and he became as "Wonder Bread American" 🇺🇸 as Disney and Edison.

Homelander: Well, this is a truly fascinating, if not slightly condescending lecture, but, um... I don't think I see the point, Stan. 🤨

Stan Edgar: The point is... that you are under a misconception that we are a "superhero company". We are not. What we are, really, is a pharmaceutical company. And you are NOT our most valuable asset. That would be our CONFIDENTIAL formula for Compound V. Which you, manchild that you are, released into the wild. 😒😠

----

Stan has effectively outlined how insignifcant Homelander is to him and Vought as a whole. Homelander's just a product to him. Moreover, as we'll learn in season 3, this has been Stan's line of thinking for decades, since he was the one who gave the green light to Payback betraying Soldier Boy so he could be replaced with Homelander. He believes that "real power... is the ability to bend the world to your will," and he's doing that here to lecture Homelander.

Homelander tries to bluff his way out, but Stan has that bluff covered.

Homelander: 😳 I don't know what you're talking about. 🤥

Stan Edgar: Well, let me remind you. You slipped Compound V to terrorists all over the globe to get you and your cronies into national defense. But maybe at the cost of destroying the whole company. 😂

----

At this, Homelander has enough of Stan and tries to get in his face to threaten him, but Stan stays perfectly unfazed and has no hesitation emphasizing that really, Homelander has no power in this conversation.

Homelander: I don't think I appreciate your tone, sir. 😡 Not much at all. 😠

Stan Edgar: And I don't appreciate that the FDA now knows about Compound V, or... that it's only a matter of time before the public finds out. While you're preening at the Golden Globes, we're busy running around like maniacs trying to clean up the mess you made. I don't have to consult you about Stormfront or anything else. 😠 Now... I believe you have a premiere of Tek Knight Lives to go to? 🤨

As you can see, this has clearly left Homelander knocked down a peg or three. He's blocked the whole world out and there's a clear buzzing in our ears as he leaves the office and he decides to go pay Ryan a visit.

Other Notes:

I feel in hindsight that Stan Edgar actually directly was hinting at Stormfront's true identity right here. I mean, Homelander barges into his office to complain about not getting to oversee Stormfront's appointment to the Seven, and the first thing Stan does is lecture him about Stormfront's husband, the founder of Vought?

I don't know when the writers decided to make Soldier Boy be Homelander's father, but that twist does in hindsight inform Stan's way of managing Homelander here. Stan was, after all, the one to sanction Homelander's creation using sperm procured from Soldier Boy, and he also is the one who authorized Payback to betray Soldier Boy to the Russians in 1984.

#homelander #stan edgar #antony starr #giancarlo esposito #the boys #vought #frederick vought #stormfront #stanford edgar #the big ride

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Reader Instagram AU

Liked by cozane, claybornharlow, jackharlow, urbanwyatt, and 8,677,345 others

yourusername 99 problems & the biggest one is me 😈

View all 1,200 comments

urbanwyatt My favorite problem to get into

yourusername Oh hiiiii stranger 😊

urbanwyatt 😘😛 miss your crazy ass

jackharlow There she is

yourusername Oh, is the world ending?because no way in hell are my two OLD best friends under my comments.

jackharlow Quit that shit 🙄

urbanwyatt So now I’m an old best friend? 🤔

yourusername You are when y’all left me behind 😢

cozane 🥶 you definitely are a huge problem but I miss your  psycho ass. 

yourusername 😂😂😂😂

•

Liked by jackharlow, yourusername, claybornharlow, and 8,677,345 others

urbanwyatt Hi best friend 😎🤪 tbt

View all 1,200 comments

yourusername URBAN!!!!! whyyyyy???? 🤦🏻‍♀️

urbanwyatt 🤔 since you wanna call me old best friend, when you know damn well we were more than that.

jackharlow My favorite couple 😢

yourusername 🙄

nemoachida 😎 I was rooting for y’all

claybornharlow Pray her man doesn’t see this

urbanwyatt What man? Me????

yourusername You’d have to be around and kept in touch to be my man

cozane 🥶🥶🥶

jackharlow Damn 😳

Liked by nemoachida, 2forwoyne, urbanwyatt, yourusername, and 8,677,355 others

jackharlow Throwback!!!!! 3 musketeers needed back in action!!!!

View all 1,900 comments

yourusername Yoo why are y’all posting me? 🫣

jackharlow Because we miss you

quiiso miss this trio 😢

claybornharlow Her man about to be pissed!

urbanwyatt Clay this is the second time you say this. what man and how do you know so much about her ?

claybornharlow Because I actually stayed in touch.

yourusername 😊😊 🫶🏻 True but ummm I forgot to tell you, we broke up 😬

claybornharlow You keeping shit from me now? 😤😤

yourusername Sorry 😣

urbanwyatt Who tf were you dating? Do we know him?

yourusername No, maybe, idk, byeeee ✌🏼

jackharlow Nahh bring that ass back here now y/n

cozane lmao she’s not coming back

•

Liked by claybornharlow, cozane, neelamthadhani, shloob, and 9,677,344 others

yourusername Since they want to be posting me, let me take it waaaay baaack!!! A little fyi, they were never “pulling” girls in middle/high school, so whatever they’ve told you, it was all lies 💀😂😈😈😈😈😈

View all 1,700 comments

cozane how did I get dragged into this?

yourusername You’re guilty by association

jackharlow AYOOO

jackharlow You know damn well you’re lying🙄 you more than anyone know, since you were my wingwoman most nights. Especially when we used to sneak out.

yourusername 🙈 Nope, I was an angel girl.

cozane Ha angel? You??? where. If I remember correctly you were a demon

yourusername LEAVE ME ALONE!

urbanwyatt righttttt but I pulled you 😉

yourusername 🤮 don’t ever say that again.

urbanwyatt It’s the truth tho. We were together on and off all through middle and high school.

yourusername 🙄🙄🙄🙄

jackharlow So can y’all get back together ????

jackharlow Or can you come join us on tour? we miss you ☹️☹️☹️

urbanwyatt We’ll be home for a week, let’s plan something.

yourusername Umm not possible.

jackharlow stop being stubborn

urbanwyatt 🙄 Told you she was going to say no.

yourusername I’m not home anymore, I moved to LA 🫢😬😬

jackharlow WHAT

urbanwyatt WTF

urbanwyatt NO YOU DID NOT

claybornharlow I didn’t know this so stop glaring my way urban

cozane you’re lying because there is no way you would leave home.

yourusername But I did.

jackharlow Well looks like we’re making a trip to LA.

urbanwyatt Hope you haven’t unpacked

yourusername Why?

jackharlow We’re bringing that ass back home.

urbanwyatt & after, on the road with us!

yourusername You guys are annoying

jackharlow your point is???

yourusername I’m not going

yourmominsta Yes boys take her with you I beg you please

yourusername MOM!!!!

urbanwyatt Hii mama y/last/name 🫶🏻

yourmominsta Boy I want to smack you for leaving my baby behind, but I’m hoping this has fixing so fix it. I’ll send you her new address.

jackharlow I love you mama y/last/name

urbanwyatt ☹️☹️ sorry

yourusername Hay Dios mío 🤦🏻‍♀️ mom whyyyyy????

cozane 😂😂😂

@ yourusername added to her story

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux 💕

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#jack harlow #instagram au #urban wyatt #urban wyatt x yn #urban wyatt x reader #jack harlow x yn #jack harlow x reader

[xdaddysprincessxx]

Congratulations on 800, prinny! I've loved getting to know you and seeing you become a writer. I also love your makeup skills, and it's so fun that we share a love of horror. .b. which brings me to my random question.

What horror movie moment is super hot for you?

Has there ever been a scene where you were like oh shit idk if that's supposed to be hot but I'm here for it?

sorry if I'm off topic

TOXIC!!! Thank you so so much bby!! I really love this question! And you, I love you! Also so on topic! I could talk horror for hours!!

Okay there are a lot of moments lmao but also not necessarily moments but just the characters themselves and seeing them on the screen and next thing you know my pussy has a heart beat Lmfaoo details under the cut

- Pyramid head from Silent Hill. Honestly just seeing him I was like 😳. I want him to throw me over his shoulder and just manhandle me and do ungodly things.

- Texas Chainsaw (2003 specifically) I was like in 3rd or 4th grade when I watched this 😅 probably shouldn’t have been, whatever. But damn does he do it for me. I really like em large and in charge 😋

-Predator. Yes Predator. Love all of the movies but Predator 4 (with Boyd Holbrook 😉) I fucking loved when they all thought he was this big creature and then the bigger one came out and the smaller one was fighting him and yea it got me going.

-House of Wax. Bo Sinclair. Enough said. I vividly remember he poured wax over the girls mouth and then kissed her 🥵 (my brain is making me second guess myself but I still see this scene in my head lol)

-okay this one is probably odd lol so Tim curry’s It terrifies me. I do not fuck with his IT. But Bill Skarsgards IT I wanna fuck. Bad. I am into that clown. I loved the scene where Beverly saw the flashback of him and it was his human face (I believe it was when she was at the old lady’s house) fucking loved it.

- My bloody Valentine (2009) good god I’d go into those mines for Tom (Jensen ackles) and the scene where he’s chasing them in the store and they try to hide in the back office whew.

- The Boy. When I first saw this I did not see the plot twist coming and great googly moogly I want to tear Brahms ass up. I want to dom tf out of him. He’s so subby and such a sweet creepy little stalker.

There’s def more but I’m blanking for whatever reason lmao I’m also realizing I watched a lot of these horror movies at a very young age 😅

#Prinnys 800 celebration 🎉 #asks <3 #horror #horror movies #let’s talk horror! #I <3 slashers

[swanlakeparadise]

Billie eilish and influencer girlfriend plz 🥺💗

ahhhh i love this request so much, i hope u like it !! 💗

tag list: @needyenergy • @valluvsu • @conans-folk • @narnaria • @moonsiqns • @tashababy • @spookyqueen • @j3nc0re — send me an ask or dm to be added / deleted 🦋

requests are open

Liked by billieeilish, selenagomez and 1.177.058 others

yn welcome to my dream world 🧚🏼‍♂️ so happy to finally launch my own makeup collection (someone pinch me now!) link in bio if you want to shop and follow @ynbeauty for launch updates and new stuff coming soon 🌙🪐🚀

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ynphotos immediately purchased all!

claudiasulewski i’m so proud of you and so excited to play around with all of it 🤍

billieeilish THAT’S MY GIRL!!!!

selenagomez these products are amazing! maybe we can do a rare beauty collaboration soon

↳ yn i’m SCREAMING!! that would be a dream come true

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claudiasulewski played around with @ynbeauty and filmed a little tutorial for you with @yn 🦋 link in my bio 🤍

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finneas holy shit my girl is stunning

↳ billieeilish holy fuck look at my girl

ynfan2 oh my god the collab we’ve all been waiting for

ynbeauty 🤍

yn a dream come true ✨ let’s do another one for the second drop

↳ ynnewssource a SECOND drop?!

↳ yn you didn’t hear it from me 👀

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billieeilish some recent make-up looks using @ynbeauty 😁 in case you‘ve been living under a rock: MY GIRL JUST RELEASED HER OWN MAKEUP COLLECTION!!!!! support her, buy it, share the word

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yn oh my god i adore you

yn don’t be surprised if i ask you to model my next collection!

haileybieber already purchased 🤍

↳ yn 😳 !!

billiesource most supportive girlfriend of the year, we love to see it!

billiefan9 you. look. stunning!!!!

#𝐩𝐢𝐱𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 ⊹ ☆ ⊹ #fake instagram #social media au #fake social media #billie eilish #billie eilish imagine #billie eilish one shot #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish social media au #billie eilish au #ariana grande #ariana grande one shot

[tortoisebore]

I just saw your post abt chapter 8 so naturally i have to ask what kind of drunk are the marauders? (Ex: Happy drunk, sad drunk, horny drunk etc..)

i’m finally starting to get caught up on these again eeeeeeeeeeeeeee i love this one 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 (just doing remus & sirius or else this would be 5,000 words)

i feel like everyone has four phases of drunk. and every kind of drunk is different like wine drunk does not equal tequila drunk but for consistency’s sake let’s say this is a typical night out, we’re ordering an uber bc we’re all planning on getting fully drunk tn, we’re doing cocktails, we’re having fun

sirius is a party girl & has a pretty decent tolerance but once the third drink hits he’s on a downward spiral. he starts off very excitable—he’s happy to be here, he’s happy you’re here, he’s happy there’s a drink in everyone’s hand. phase two is the dancey phase. if the music is bad he’s just doing a little shimmy at the bar but if it’s good he’s physically dragging ppl onto the dance floor. if there’s not a dance floor he’s making one. remus hasn’t had anywhere close to enough to drink to dance by the time sirius is this phase of drunk so when sirius makes a beeline for him and pulls at his arm he’s all “oh my god sirius stop i’m not going to dance fuck off you’re so embarrassing” but sirius is like “SORRY CANT HEAR U OVER ALL THIS DANCING 🕺🕺🕺 GET UR ASS UP RN 💃💃💃” and sometimes remus gives in then but sometimes he has to be deeper into his own drunk journey to get anywhere near a dance floor.

sirius’ phase 3 is horny bc everyone has a horny phase when they’re drunk. this phase starts at the tail end of his fourth drink—he’s at the bar & takes that last little sip out of the tiny cocktail straw and then he’s getting tunnel vision going “remus remus remus where’s remus oh my god look at him he’s so fuckidnf sexy how does he do it get a load of that sweater holy shit 🫦👹👺🤭😛🥰 hot damn that’s my bb 🤩🥵😳🫠🥴😋.” and remus is only on his second phase of drunk right now & they’re rarely at their own respective horny phases at the same so sirius’ advances are brushed off a bit. like he’s sliding in behind remus & sticking his hands up his shirt and whispering all sorts of shit into his ear like “c’mon let’s go to the bathroom” and “wanna make u feel good” and “i’ll do anything u want pls pls pls need u so bad pls” but remus is very much not on the same planet and he’s like “we’re not gonna fuck in the bathroom u beautiful silly goose!! 😄 that’s crazy!! 😁 omg 😍 ur so so pretty!! 😄 ur my bf & we’re in love 🥰 can u believe it!!”

and sirius is pouty about it for a minute but by the time he finishes his next drink he’s officially in phase four which is the “life is so beautiful i love u all so much” phase. about 50% of the time this involves crying and the other 50% it involves going around the room hanging off everyone’s arm & giving a speech about “you’re all just my favorite people i can’t believe i get to know u all you’re so beautiful i love my life.” and by this point remus is in deep enough to give in when sirius throws himself into his arms and gives him a little smile & says “☺️ do u wanna dance w me 🙂🥰” so they have a song and a dance or four or five before it’s time to go home.

remus’ four phases of drunk are a little more subdued. phase one is the loosey goosey phase, he’s relaxed and not thinking ab all the things that are stressing him out and he’s less snippy after a couple drinks. but phase two is the loud talking phase. he’s feeling good he’s feeling chatty. he wants to tell u in depth all about this documentary he saw the other day about ancient global architecture designed around the summer solstice. he’s gesturing with his hands and his eyes are all big and he’s talking way too fucking loud. like…… way too fucking loud. people are starting to look over remus pls can u lower ur voice just a little this is getting weird

phase three is an extension of phase two. he’s still feeling good feeling chatty but now he’s getting all sappy and sweet and giddy. he’s looking at sirius across the room like 🤩❤️🫶💕🥹🥰💓😘💞✨😍💖💓 and going “oh my god……oh my god. look at him. stunning” and sighing and waxing poetic to whoever’s next to him but there’s a 75% chance that it’s just a stranger at the bar. and then sirius comes over and he’s throwing himself all over remus going “need u so bad bby can we go home” and “i’m wearing that thing u like under here wanna see” but remus is too starry-eyed to take him up on it. like he’s not even rly listening bc he's too busy touching sirius’ face and watching the clips in his hair sparkle under the lights to do anything but gasp and ooh and ahh and be like “wow!! wow!! look!! at you!! oh!! my god!!”

but one more drink in and he’s officially entered his final horny phase, which is definitely less in-your-face than sirius’ but it’s about a hundred times more intense. normally sirius has simmered down a bit by the time remus’ phase four rolls around, but now remus is in deep enough to watch him a little more intently. like he’s giving less 🥰🤩💞✨😍💕 and more 😶🤤😵‍💫🥴🥵😏. and he’s not going to do much other than stare until they’re home (bc he’s absolutely not afraid of some pda but he’s possessive down to his bones & doesn’t want to risk anyone else watching sirius like that) and he always says he’s going to play it cool & keep them both in line until they’re out of there, but a few more sips of the right kind of liquor and it’s game over. so when sirius asks him to dance they’re 100% doing more touching and ogling and grinding than actual dancing bc the second remus gets his hands on sirius’ skin it’s lights out for his big ole brain, he’s running on caveman brain cells & caveman brain cells are just saying “pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty”

they’re probably getting kicked out of the club/bar eventually but like good for them go gays go !!

#u ask tortoise answers #anon #tortoise writes a novel ab an ask for no reason #my four phases of drunk are a mix of both of them #bc these rambles are nothing if not me projecting