#PORCH PIRATES

[hometoursandotherstuff]

#porch pirates #other stuff

[mostlysignssomeportents]

When you're self-employed, everyone is your boss

#disciplinary technology #bossware #sign #ring camera #cctv #porch pirates

[womanofwords]

Dummy Deliveries

"Sweetie, we have a delivery!" Villain yelled. Hero came downstairs, saw the box and went pale.

"Put that box back," Hero ordered.

Villain's smile faltered. "What?"

"That is the dummy box that I made," Hero said. "I filled up a dummy box and it is supposed to be there for porch pirates. Nothing of value is in that box."

"Oh, I see," Villain said. "And I thought I was the mean one."

"You are, I promise!" Hero giggled.

The two began a watch of the package, checking on it as if it was an infant. It got stolen the very next day, much to their delight.

"Yes, it's gone!" Hero celebrated, hugging Villain.

"Aww, look at you, my little devil child," Villain cooed. "You have a taste for sadism already. I'm so proud of you."

"AAAAAUGH! THIS BOX IS FULL OF DOG POOP AND GARBAGE!" someone yelled from down the street.

"Another satisfied customer," Hero said.

#creative writing #my writing #writing inspiration #writers on tumblr #writing #writers #writeblr #writerscommunity #heroes and villains #superheroes #porch pirates #fake package #hero/villain

[deathwords334]

Curse you porch pirates!!!

*shakes fist at the empty driveway* I found out recently that a porch pirate not only stole my package of watercolor paints, but also the two Good Omens books Miel made. Miel's been really nice and a trooper about all this, I just hate that they have to deal with a situation like this. Realistically I bet the pirate's gonna either throw the books away or try and sell them online... But there is a part of me that wants to think they'll look at the cover and be all 'Hey I think I heard of this show. Maybe I should check it out.' And then they do and they get hooked and then they enter the stages of grief post season 2.

And then I'll have my revenge! Hahaha take that pirate! Feel the brain rot consume you!!

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziracrow #Miel Petite #wbb #TWTWP #porch pirates #I can dream #It's the only thing keeping me sane #Also check out Miel's work #they're really good

[sportsandlaughs]

#porch pirates #cat #kitty litter #cat litter #fed ex

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

One of my roommates is pissed off because an amazon packages got stolen, and he's blaming me for not putting it inside. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was your on-call mailman. I didn't know it was my job to stay home all day long and wait dutifully for your packages to guard them from porch pirates at your unspoken behest, My Liege! Want me to do your dishes and fold your laundry too while I'm at it? Fuck you!

Over the last month he's asked me to put 10 or 12 packages inside for him, and I've done it whenever I was home, but now he expects it of me, so he's lost that privilege going forward. Don't fucking "bruh" me in the group chat, it's not my responsibility, I was just being nice! Maybe I'm not home, or maybe I am and I'm busy doing something; I'm not your friend, you've never said two words to me outside these mail requests, it's not my fault if something gets left outside because you weren't there to get it yourself.

Word of advice: if someone asks you for the same favor over and over and over again, say no on occasion, even if it's not a big deal, because otherwise it will become your chore.

#am i the asshole #aita #mail #packages #porch pirates #not my fault #not my problem #don't blame me

[trunkards]

Trunkards #594. If you can't beat 'em, screw with 'em.

© 2023 Rick Hutchins

#web comic #indie comic #original comic #newspaper comic #comic strip #elephant #beer #bar #porch pirates #Trunkards #Rick Hutchins #RJDiogenes

[inthecityofgoodabode]

May 2023: The Last Friday & Saturday

This is how we found our Amazon shipment on our front porch. It was like someone had opened it up but, when they saw it was bathroom cleaner, they thought “Oh my god! Work... let me get the hell away from this box!” There is this part of me that wants to believe most people would only be driven to thievery out of desperation but there is another part of me that empirically thinks most thieves are grifters who would be stealing whether they had just a dime or a billion dollars:  

On a more positive vibe, we went out to Plot 420 & did a lot of work. Unfortunately, there are no photos because the focus was on work rather content creation.

It rained today so muddy dog prints happened: 

My view while grilling: 

Grilling: 

Dinner... I’ll be glad when it is our own corn on the plate: 

#porch pirates #back patio #dog #Lhasa Apso #silverback #muddy dog prints #backyard garden #garden #fairy lights #grilling #sausage #hot italian sausage #grilled lime #celery #carrots #pepper corns #bay leaf #corn #potato chips #dinner #life in memphis

[hisgirlfriday439]

So Amazon is doing the most I see..

#no wonder we they steal shit #porch pirates #using notting Hill #movies lines #Amazon wft #random thoughts

[geezerwench]

The notification came about 1325 that my packages had been delivered. I didn’t go get them off the front porch until about 1600.

Porch pirates had gotten there first.

Chewed through a double-walled cardboard box and ripped into the fruit and nut wild bird food bag inside.

Damn squirrels. They know winter is coming and are being a bit manic.

First time that has ever happened.

🐿

#damn squirrels #porch pirates #winter is coming #wildlife #07November2022

[jimweave]

#black twitter #memes #meme #porch pirates #porch pirate

[enchantingcreatordeer]

Keter Delivery Box for Porch with Lockable Secure Storage Compartment to Keep Packages Safe

1 WAY, 2 TRAY SYSTEM: ensures that packages can be placed in the box without access to the storage compartment and only the owner can retrieve packages when using a lock

LARGE CAPACITY: Spacious interior accommodates several combinations of the most popular delivery packages

PORCH PIRATE PROOF: Add weight to the bottom hidden chamber or use the included screws to anchor it into the ground for ultimate security

LOCKABLE: Padlock compatible so only you can open and retrieve your packages

$189.97

#delivery box #package #package keeper #porch pirates #porch box #delivery

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Package-tossing, priestesses and porch-pirates

#nola #parcels #porch pirates #priestesses

[secattention]

Mission Complete

#memology 101 #on bitchute #awareness #porch pirates #legendary disguise

[wfodicks]

#660: TYLER FOWLER AND THE PRICE PER HARASSMENT

mike and travis discuss the following topics…. hustle watch: fruit stripe gun hustle watch: ugh madison ebay’s campaign of terror…. don’t film the porch pirates…. after the break, we talk to comedian tyler fowler about his new social media released special “my mom said I can’t go,” nursing home gigs, and the resurgence of vinyl. Check out Tyler’s website here and follow along with his…

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#AMERICAN DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES #CHARLI XCX #dunkin donuts #ebay #FREDDY KRUEGER #FRUIT STRIPE GUM #MY MOM SAID I CAN&039;T GO #PODCAST #PORCH PIRATES #QUEBEC #STAND UP COMEDIAN #TYLER FOWLER #UGH_MADISON

[tankertalk]

tankerTWEETland comix #1606: Vampire Det. - "Bath Time...” (1/14/2023)

#humor #humour #memes #satire #comics #webcomic #webcomics #memesdaily #memes2024 #vampires #vampire couple #police detective #porch pirates #bathtime #married life #robbery