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the-t-boy-king · 9 months

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Tips from your trans big brother: Packing

Alright homies, it's time for packer talk. A quick trigger warning. Most packers look like penises. If you don't want to hear about that, keep on moving. Please take care of yourself and I hope you will have a nice day/night! Packer talk under the cut.

So what is packing? Packing is when a trans man, (such as myself) or a trans masculine person uses something like padding or a packer to make a bulge in their pants. Some people use it as a way to fight bottom dysphoria, others use it to help pass, and there are many reasons why someone might want to pack.

There are 3 types of packers based on what they are used for. I'll run through them right now and I'll give recommendations and leave links for them. I'll then go over packing gear. Buckle up homies, it's going to be a long post.

Soft Packers

To start with we have soft packers. It's a packer that is made to look like you have a bulge in your pants. It can't be used for anything else. Soft packers are normally made with two types of material: elastomer/thermal gel and silicone.

Elastomer/thermal gel. This type of material is very soft and squishy. It's not very durable. It can tear easily and you can't really sanitize it the normal way ie with boiling water because it will melt.

People who have sensitive skin can break out due to the material so it's not recommended to wear it against the body without a barrier for long periods of time. You can use packing underwear or a packing pouch to keep a barrier between the packer and your skin. You also have to powder it so it's not sticky.

Silicone is more durable, firmer and less stretchy, and will last you a lifetime if you handle it with care. These are a lot easier to clean and sanitize since for the most part you can run them through the dishwasher or boil it in water (unless the company you get it from tells you otherwise that is).

For soft packers I recommend there are two. The 1st one is a Mr.Limpy . It's made of the elastomer material, but it is a great way to test to see if packing is something you want to do. The second one I recommend is the Classic Silicone packer from AXOLOM. I just got it a few days ago and I already love it. It bends down itself so it makes packing so much easier.

STPs packers

Stand to pee, or STPs are just as the name implies. It's a packer that helps people to stand to pee. These can help trans guys who have dysphoria when it comes to sitting to pee. It can also help them feel safer in the men's bathroom. STPs are hollow, a bowl at the end, and a shaft to pee with. Often you can use a STP both for packing and peeing but some are better than others. Packing with these can be a bit harder since they are firmer. It's because they can keep their shape when peeing.

These are made of silicone, and since you are using them to pee with, you need to sanitize them so you don't give yourself a UTI. When using a STP for the 1st time, I recommend starting in the shower 1st naked then slowly moving up to using a toilets/ urinals because trust me, you'll pee on yourself.

STPs are harder to recommend since everyone is built differently when it comes to where your urethra is and how fast you pee. Hell, I haven't fully mastered my own STPs. However, I have a STP Freely from Transguy Supply and I've been getting better at it.

Pack and Play Packers

Pack and play packers are packers that can be used for sex. You can often find 3 in 1 which is packer, STP and play. It mostly comes down to if your packer comes with a rod that can be put inside of your packer to make it stiff enough to penetrate. I haven't used one yet so I can't recommend one but you can use STP Freely as a pack and play as long as you buy the rod that goes in it.

Packing Gear

Packing gear is a thing that are made to make packing easier. There are 3 many types: packing underwear, packing harness and packing pouch. These are thing that will hold your packer in place and prevent it from falling out of your pants.

With packing underwear there's two types. Normal packing underwear that comes with a built in pouch that will hold the packer in your underwear. STP underwear is made with STPs in mind. They come with a O ring that'll hold the shaft in place when peeing and come with a button fly you can open so you can pee.

I personally use the Sport Packing Pouch. It's a pouch you put your packer in and pin to your underwear to keep in place. As for STP underwear I use the Cake Bandit underwear. Keep in mind that packing underwear is expensive. However you can make your own by sewing a pouch into underwear you already have.

So that's about it when it comes to packing. Packers come in all shapes and sizes, so it's up to you how big you want your dummy peen to be. Keep in mind that most cis guys' penises are about 3-4 inch when soft so you don't have to use a 8 inch packer. Bigger is not always better. Packing is a deeply personal thing so do whatever feel right to you. Good luck on your packing journey!

With love, Miles, your trans older brother.

#miles talks #transgender #transmasc #trans men #packing ftm #packers

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stellarred · 11 months

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CAUSE VS. CANON: Making the Case for Qcard

*Warning: May trigger some Qcard shippers*

I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday about loving certain dynamics in stories, like Star Trek's Qcard for example, and how nitpicker fans and shippers analyze the writers' work, the actors' performances, etc. to show that a dynamic/relationship is true/canon.

She insisted that if you look hard enough to find proof that a relationship between two characters is canon, or has validity, you will find it "*simply because you want it to be true, even if it's not.*" 😡😡😡

She called it "nitpicking for a cause."

As a devoted and longtime Qcard shipper, I bristled at her comment, and I proceeded to explain how writers intentionally weave dynamics into their scripts and stories through devices, including: parallels, such as STP S2's Q/Picard and Teresa/Rios, and through lines, such as STP S1: the butterfly motif, (Q)ueen cards, (Picard's unusual luck in surviving the explosion), which led to S2 Q's butterfly comments, the S2 trailer (Q)ueen card, The Sun/Q motif, Q, of course, and his lesson to Picard about opening himself up to love, so that he could be chosen by someone else to be loved in return. Then, in S3, we had Q's last minute return signaled by the Sun, and Picard allowing himself to love Jack and being accepted by Jack.

I also pointed out that Trek writers choose very specific words for actors to use at unusual times to indicate dynamics, too.

Ex: Picard (S2): I always filed Q as *unknowable.*

@porgthespacepenguin and @celestialholz both have meta-analyses on Qcard that beautifully prove Qcard as canon by the writers.

She still insisted at this point that I was nitpicking, intellectualizing dialogue, and over-analyzing all because I WANTED Qcard to be real.

Finally, I told her that writers, such as Cindy Appel, producers, like Akiva Goldsman, and Ron D. Moore, as well as actors Patrick Stewart and John de Lancie backed it up, too.

She then said, "Well, De Lancie was told to act a certain way and read the script."

I then pounced, saying that although actors follow scripts, they do have some agency in their performance. John de Lancie and Patrick Stewart both made deliberate choices in their portrayals, using certain types of body language, voice inflections, facial expressions that added credence to Qcard.

At this point, she gave up the fight and smartly so.

I mean for her or anyone else to suggest we Qcard shippers find those nuances/subtext/indications woven into a script and performance out of a desire or desperation for it to be canon irritates me.

My friend then asked me, "Why can't you just casually watch something, like Star Trek and enjoy it for what it is? Why all this analysis?"

It's a fair question.

I guess it's because while I can casually watch something and enjoy it at face value, other things, such as Qcard are like finding gold dust on the ground. You see gold on the surface, and it's great. You could make some money from selling that gold dust, sure.

But, if you dig just a bit deeper, you find a rich gold mine worth much more. Much more satisfying.

So, what do you think?

Was my friend correct in saying we Qcard shippers analyze and nitpick for The Cause?

Or, are we actually on to something?

#qcard #star trek q #q #john de lancie #patrick stewart #star trek tng #star trek #stp #debate #qcard is undeniable #casual viewer's pov

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mlm-writer · 2 years

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Piss Paladin (Wade Wilson x FtM!Reader)

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Deadpool x FtM Reader For the pride prompt: FtM reader learning to pee standing up, failing miserably, getting anxious and then getting help from their lovely AMAB partner Rating: Mature Words: 1321 POV: Second Summary: Wade got you an STP and you can now finally pee while standing up. Easier said than doen tho. Notes: Happy Pride! See all works for pride 2022 here. Reader has not undergone bottom surgery, but everything else from HRT to top surgery is up to you. Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort sort of, domestic fluff, established relationship, we all know Wade is a horndog oh and he also breaks the 4th wall

“Babey!” Your boyfriend was as loud as ever, as he barged through the front door. Well, it was technically his apartment, so he was allowed. You looked up from your phone and shifted on the couch, bare legs no longer folded over. You tugged your shorts down, so they were no longer giving you a wedgie. Eyes narrowed at Wade, when he got a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. “I got you something,” he practically sang, approaching you with the glass and a package held behind his back. You were more confused by the glass of water to be honest. Wade was not one to hydrate voluntarily. “But - and that’s a big butt - you first need to drink this.”

You let out a scoff and took the glass he held out for you. Wade had weirder antics, so you did not question him. You wished he had picked a smaller glass though. It took you a moment, before you had consumed its entire contents. Wade made in the meantime three jokes about swallowing and being so good at it. One time you laughed accidentally and almost choked, which triggered a choking joke or two.

When you finally put the empty glass onto the already-full coffee table, he handed you the package. You raised a brow at him and took the package, ripping off the top while looking him dead in the eyes. “This better not be another strap-on, Wade. We already have enough.”

“Well this one you can use for multiple things.” You sighed and pulled the bubble wrap out of the box, then frowned at the hollow strap-on you found inside. It was limp and did not seem good for fucking at all. Then it clicked. You gasped and turned to your boyfriend hanging off the back of the couch.

“No way!” “Yes way!” “Wade!”

You jumped and hugged him, slapping him in the face with your new dick. “Ho there fella, might want to wait with slapping me in the face with that thing until I’m on my knees.” You were giddy with excitement and took the glass off the table to fill it with more water, chugging it as if you’ve been in the desert. “It is for pack, pee and play, but I guess the first thing you want to do is pee while standing up?”

You nodded. “Honestly, it is the best part of having a dick if you ask me.” You fished the harness out of the box and started placing your cock inside in various ways, until Wade grabbed the manual and helped you with sticking things in the right hole.

“Well then let’s get you in this thing, go to the park and find you a nice little tree.” You wiggled out of your pants and underwear. Then tried to put the harness with the STP in it up, only to find out that it was rather tricky.

“Maybe first try the toilet?” You suggested, as you moved the silicone around until it was comfortable. You then pulled the underwear back over it and your shorts. You wiggled around and reached into your underwear to find a comfortable position for the dick. “Where do you leave the shaft?” You complained.

“You’re boring,” Wade sighed playfully. He nearly giggled like a schoolgirl as he watched you struggle. “Well I just leave it parallel to my right leg, but you can also do it to the left.” You followed his instructions and then stared at your bulge. “Damn baby boy, you are packing,” Wade exclaimed as he stared at your crotch with you.

“Is it too obvious?” He shook his head. You read the manual to figure out what else came with the penis, while you waited for mother nature to make her call. When you finally felt it, you jumped up from the couch to go to the bathroom.

“Go my piss paladin! My golden shower champion! My urine conqueror! My…” “Shut up, Wade!” “Hey don’t blame me! We are over 650 words in and the readers still haven’t gotten what they came for!”

You rolled your eyes and then closed the bathroom door behind you without locking it. Excitement coursed through your veins, but as you stood above the toilet, seat up and silicone dick in hand, nothing came out of you. As if your body was saying ‘we need to sit down to piss’. So you stood there a good minute or two… or three… Eventually Wade was knocking on the door. “You know, it is supposed to be quicker,” he called from outside the door. You tried to force something out again, but not even a drip left you.

“Urgh, it won’t work!” You exclaimed, stomping your foot and zipping your pants back up. You heard Wade come in, but did not look at him. “I just… I can’t do it!” You felt Wade approach from behind and then his arms were around you.

“Yes you can, my piss paladin. Come on, let’s zip those pants down.” Wade pushed everything down to your ankles. “You’re just having a mental block so let’s try this a bit more like you’re used to. Bend the knees, rest that pretty butt on me, yes just like that.” You were sort of leaned forward with your butt on Wade’s knees slash thighs. Wade had his hands on your hips, steadying you. “Ok now close your eyes and breathe. Once you let go, everything will just flow.”

It took you a good minute more, but with Wade keeping you calm and reminding you that one step at a time was fine, you eventually succeeded. When the dam finally overflowed, it was a relief like nothing else. The sound of piss landing in the toilet water had never before triggered so much relief and happiness. You and Wade were cheering like you just won the jackpot.

However, victory did not last long, as you felt a warm stream trickling down your leg. “Oh shit,” you exclaimed as you tried to stop yourself from filling the overflowing penis even more. The idea was great, but the execution was not as smooth as you had envisioned.

“Keep calm, king, this is fine,” you heard Wade say behind you, but piss was trickling down your leg and you could not really stop yourself mid-way. It felt like it was just coming and coming. By the time the STP was empty, you just stared down at it with absolute horror, trying to wrap your head around what just happened.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry, baby, I pissed all over you. Oh my god this is so embarrassing.” You felt like crying. The entire vicinity was stinking and covered in yellow fluid. You heard Wade talking, but you were frozen in place and your ears had stopped working.

Wade turned you around roughly, but you closed your eyes, unable to look at him. You pissed on him for fuck’s sake. “Hey, my handsome piss paladin, look at me. Come on, open those beautiful eyes… there you go. It’s all right.”

He smiled at you reassuringly, but you had tears pricking in your eyes and you could feel the distress everywhere in your body. “It’s not all right, Wade, I pissed on you.”

“And I don’t care! Really! Look! Look here!” You followed his pointed finger to where you saw the stain on his pants and… a boner. Seeing it made you chuckle.

“Really, dipshit? A piss kink?” He chuckled with you and reached past you to grab the roll of toilet paper.

“Don’t blame me, you’re the one who is hot no matter what… just like your pee.” He whispered the last part, making you laugh again. Wade handed you some TP, but you refused, telling him a shower was going to be a better idea. He agreed and then joined you under another warm stream.

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transenbyconfessions · 1 year

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This is just something I wanted to put out there to anyone it might be useful for.

If you’re transgender and feel gender dysphoria, showering can be extremely painful and straining on your mental health, however there are ways to make it easier. I’m going to focus primarily on transmascs rather than transfem because that’s my primary experience.

Physical hygiene is very important, especially for trans guys on t, but body dysphoria during showers can be very difficult to deal with. If you have bottom dysphoria and you can access it, having an stp is really helpful.

I heard from another transmasculine individual that wearing a towel over your shoulders when exiting the shower can help immensely with chest dysphoria. Further, if you are able to, is instead of standing in the shower, (bending over to wash your lower legs is not your fancy) you can take a seated position, though it’s not for everyone.

As well, covering the mirror in your bathroom (if you are able to) has helped others in the past as well.

Of course these are suggestions and dysphoria can manifest in many different forms, and can have many triggers. Prioritize your health and safety- which brings me to a piece of advice I’d like to give.

If you’re a closeted person and you’re contemplating coming out to someone you feel may have a negative reaction, make sure that you are in a safe place and have a possible escape for if things go wrong. Avoid coming out when you are a passenger in a moving vehicle as there is no option for a viable escape. Please keep yourselves safe and I hope I’ve helped someone with this.

Submitted March 2, 2023

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devilshelter · 11 months

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Heilo ladies and gentleladies

About me ✨

My name is Victor, DevilShelter (or just Shelter), HNwhoR (nee-hoo-ya) or Goner Hanged Man.

He/Him • Transmasc • Ace

I’m 21 y.o local artist who is dreaming about making an animated series one day. And also I’m making manga and other types of animation sometimes. And a little bit of games (not successful tho).

I’m from far far away lost and forgotten kingdom called ✨ Belarus ✨

Russian (native) • Belarussian (native) • English (A2) • Japanese (N3) • French (B1) (but didn’t practice in a long time)

Art status

General status: working on projects

Trades: no

Commissions: yep

About Rain World Tarot Cards

Status: in stock

Contain: 22 Major Arcana cards

Shipment: Worldwide

Price: $20 including shipping

Live photo (you can ask in dm for more)

About “Project: LIKORIS” (War and Flowers TF2 AU)

Status: abandoned

Done: 4/7 (main story), 0/2 (expansion)

Start reading on tumblr (don’t forget to check disclaimer)

Start reading on google doc

Tags: #project: likoris #war and flowers AU

Refs:

About other fan stuff

Industrial Sabotage AU: the DRG AU

Tags: #industrial sabotage AU

Center of the Earth: the RW AU

Tags: #karma rot au

Metamorphosis: Slay The Princess HC

Tags: #stp metamorphosis

About other projects

Hatgins Family: working on trailer. Here a lot of stuff I made so far (not including comics). Tags: #hatgins family

Eternal Inferno: working on script. Tags: #eternal inferno

One Hours Before the Apocalypse: finished, not translated. Tags: #OHBtA

WIP: Five Past One (co-op comic), Miasma: The Toxic Witch (co-op comic)

Plans: Hide and Seek (manga), Perfect YOU (manga), Poker (game), Lumps of Thoughts (game), Stargazer (Rain World mod), Untitled (manga), Untitled (game)

About askbox

Status: OPEN

Doodle requests: NO

You can ask something about me or my characters

I will not answer at any provocation sentences. I don’t want to be involved in drama thank you

Important

⚠️ My blog and any piece of media I make can contain triggers, blood, gore ⚠️

You can use my art as pfp

You can repost my arts with credit

You can repost and translate my comics and manga but PLEASE leave a link for original source

You can correct my grammar I don’t mind

You can DM me anytime

ANY adopt and character designs I was requested to make do not contain my watermark but watermark of owner

I do not save any commissions and adopts and do not track any new owners of my adopts

HF tag removed cuz I don’t want to accidentally trigger fandom with the same initials.

Last update: 23 april

#project: likoris #war and flowers au #hatgins family #eternal inferno #OHBtA #talkative shelter #shelter ask #gifts for devil #industrial sabotage au #stp metamorphosis #karma rot au

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argentconflagration · 6 months

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is there anyone who's played slay the princess who'd be willing to have a short discussion with me about potentially triggering content?

(please do NOT reply to this post with a description of triggering content in stp, just whether you'd be willing to have a private conversation with me about it)

#loquacious lex

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forget-about-me2 · 2 years

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Trans Omo- STP Edition - Part 1

Okay, so I said that I could write a whole arse list about trans omo focused on STPs and I realised that it might be a bit too long so I'll split it up into multiple posts. This first post isn't really a list but more an introduction to STPs. (Also my asks are open if you want me to elaborate on anything, there's a lot to tell so I might forget something.)

First of all, what is an STP? The proper term is a Stand To Pee device. People also refer to it as an STP device, but most commonly it's just called an STP. STPs can be used by AFAB people to enable them to stand to pee. The way this works is that STPs are basically a funnel that you press to your anatomy peeing into the cup and then it's guided in front of you allowing you to clear your pants.

Situations where this can be useful, include festivals, hiking and other places where bathroom access is a bit difficult when you don't have the right anatomy. Aka having to hold it while a penis haver can just unzip.

This goes double for trans people, men's restrooms often have fewer stalls than female restrooms and then have urinals to make up for it. And after having been 3 years on T and full-time passing there's still nothing worse than having to wait in a relatively small restroom where the sinks are not quite within arm's reach of the urinals while other guys are using the urinals. Especially when you're about 99% sure the guy in the stall is taking a shit so you can sometimes wait a long time.

There are many kinds of STPs, in all price ranges. I think most non-trans people would, if they know STPs exist in the first place, think of those plastic funnel-type things, like the Shewee.

But there are many STPs that are penis shaped and can definitely be called prosthetics. STPs can be expensive as fuck, I've seen them around 500, 600. Maybe even higher I can't remember. Those are really realistic and people wouldn't think twice when getting a glance.

My first STP was a cheap plastic one shaped as a penis and it set me back about 20 euros.

My most expensive one was about 200.

But the point of all this is that STPs come in all different kinds and shapes. Also different designs. Each company designs the funnel in their own way. What works for one person might not work for someone else.

Each STP requires practice, that's always true. But a situation where even after having it for ages you're still not quite able to manage to make it work without at least some leakage. And that can be disheartening as fuck. Especially when it was an expensive one you thought about buying for a long time.

This actually sorta happened with my most expensive one. I can sorta use it, but there's almost always some form of leakage and I've had really dysphoria triggering incidents with it as well but more on that later. I got a new one now and that one works a lot better.

I think that's it for now. Next up I'll be talking about the first time learning to STP and building up the skill.

#trans omo #omorashi #omo prompt #stand to pee #ftm ed

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whatdoidofromhere · 2 years

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Day 14

I thought that maybe I was faking being non-binary / transgender because I was “fine” with having a vagina if I could never have bottom surgery and had to pack for the rest of my life.

Turns out, not fine with that. I’m writing this post meltdown so that you know you’re not alone. Well and to remind myself that I’m not faking it, this is real. Now I wouldn’t say I would.. you know… unalive… if I couldn’t get bottom surgery but I surely will be missing a part of myself.

I’m having a hard time putting it into words, hard time understanding why I had the breakdown. What triggered the crying was:

1) STP devices normally look weird to me, don’t match the male silhouette perfectly like I need.

2) I really really REALLY hate packing underwear. Like HATE it.

I still want to dress feminine. I want the lacy panties and the matching underwear sets. Why is it so hard/ degrading to find underwear thats feminine that can hold a penis. Why is it all labeled “sissy” underwear? Why does it also sell sexual adult baby stuff? If you know a site that just sells lacy underwear for men, please let me know.

Im not sure where this post is going but it definitely made me cry again ✌🏻

#ftm #ftm trans #genderfluid #nonbinary #trans journey #you’re not alone #transgender #stp device #trans packers #packing

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frzngrapes · 2 years

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18/09

Chère Keycie,

Je challenge mes fear foods, je mange trois repas par jour et certains jours je ne compte pas mes calories et tout va bien. Sois fière de moi stp.

Par contre, la plupart du temps, je continue de les compter, même si c'est pour en manger une quantité à peu près normale. J'ai toujours MyFitnessPal™ sur mon téléphone, j'utilise toujours la balance. C'est comme le fait que dans ma chambre, il y a une boîte avec des lames de cutter et des gazes stériles. Je ne l'ai pas ouverte depuis plus de quatre mois. Pourtant je refuse de la jeter.

Je me suis souvent demandé, pourquoi je n'essaye pas, une bonne fois pour toute, de guérir de mes TCA? Pourquoi je ne jette pas cette boîte à la poubelle ? Et je pense qu'aujourd'hui j'ai compris. Je ne me sens pas assez forte, je ne crois pas en ma capacité de guérir.

La dernière fois que j'ai essayé d'arrêter la restriction, ça c'est très mal passé. Je pense que manger comme une personne saine, en ayant les pensées d'une personne malade c'était la chose la plus difficile que j'ai jamais vécu. Et je ne me sens pas prête à réessayer.

De la même manière, qu'est-ce qu'il se passerait si quelque chose me trigger mais que je n'ai plus mes lames à la maison ? Ça ne m'est jamais arrivé, je ne sais pas comment je réagirais. Ça me paraît simplement impossible à gérer, donc la boîte reste cachée dans un coin de ma chambre. Le risque n'en vaut pas la peine.

J'espère avoir le courage de choisir la guérison un jour ! ça va me demander de croire en moi, et de croire en moi fort.

des bisous, Cannelle ☆☆☆

#cherrysletters✿

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an-aura-about-you · 2 years

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the fallout from Martin's dead end cafe job, 2009

The (Brief) Disappearance of Martin Blackwood

From the Files of the STP

Coffee shop romance? Nah. Office romance? Yeah! With a little bit of bailing your supervisor out of jail:

Jon’s flat is small and mostly tidy, just on the right side of lived in before things get messy. There are music charts scattered on the coffee table, a type of foldable futon with some cushions lined up against the wall next to it to form a type of couch on the floor. There’s a little alcove of a kitchenette, which barely looks big enough to hold the kettle in it. The one bedroom has a comfortably unmade bed and a Designated Clothes Chair. The reasoning behind being here is Jon’s flat is closer than Martin’s and he thinks it will be more comfortable to wait here than at the cafe.

Martin wholeheartedly agrees.

“Make yourself at home,” Jon says, dropping off his laptop bag by the coffee table. “I don’t know how long it’ll be before Claire calls, but we could probably get pizza?”

“Sounds good,” Martin agrees, working out how to get to the floor couch. “Alright if I move your table a bit?”

“Sure,” Jon calls from the bedroom, taking off his jacket for now. “And you can stack up the music, too, if you don’t wanna wait for me.”

“Thanks,” Martin calls back.

So they clear off the table, they order a pizza, and they wait.

For what Martin isn’t entirely sure. Jon hasn’t gone into detail, specifically said he couldn’t go into detail yet, that the whole of it will come out after Claire calls. But first she’s got to call. And Martin doesn’t know what happens after that. So, for now, he’s just spending time with Jon.

“So,” Martin begins, tucked in the corner of the room on the floor sofa. “When did you know you were psychic?”

Jon shrugs a little bit from his comfortable slouch next to him, one knee propped up. “Sometime after Claire found me. Apparently, it’s a thing that can just develop. Like allergies.”

“'Like allergies?'”

“Yeah, people can just develop allergies they’ve never had before as they get older. So like allergies if allergies were a brain thing.”

Martin snorts at that. “Not as bad as allergies, I hope.”

“Not exactly great, either. Most of the time, it just is what it is.” Jon folds his arms over his propped up knee. “Claire said sometimes it’s triggered by events tied to the Ethereal Realm. Makes you more susceptible to things like visions of the past, premonitions of the future, thoughts, memories, feelings, pretty much anything that gets broadcast over the ethereal waves.”

“Huh. You don’t think that means I’ll become psychic, too, do you?”

“Dunno. We haven’t figured out any rhyme or reason why this person and not that one. And some people can just be born with it but don’t always know what they have. Which kinda makes sense if you think about it.”

Martin eyes him. “Does it?”

Jon shrugs. “I mean, I didn’t think anything was weird about being ace because, until I learned about asexuality, I thought everybody was like me. Why wouldn’t someone who’s been psychic their whole life think the same thing until they learn about it?”

“Fair enough,” Martin concedes with a laugh. “Though I guess I didn’t have the same luxury? Thinking everybody was like me at one point, that is. I dunno, I picked up pretty quickly that I wasn’t straight, but that’s being the boy dreaming of a prince instead of a princess.”

Jon grins at him, turning to kneel on the floor sofa. “Speaking of.”

“Oh?”

“You said you wanted to go to a show, but we’ve got our album done. I’m afraid it’s princesses this time around, and it’s a pretty tragic ending, but…” Jon shrugs. “Wanna listen?”

Martin nods just as there’s a knock on the door signaling their pizza is here. It’s not long after that the two are set up with their food and their music.

“I really like your narration,” Martin says near the end.

“Yeah?” Jon replies. “It’s hard for me to hear sometimes.”

“Why?” he asks while getting another slice of pizza. “I know you said that before, but you didn’t really explain it.”

“It’s weird listening to recordings of my voice so much. I have to do it for the music to make sure it’s right, but it’s a relief when it’s done and I can go back to hearing my voice the way I hear it.”

“That makes sense,” Martin agrees. “If I think about it like that, I probably couldn’t be in a band. Not as a singer, anyway.”

Jon opens his mouth to say something else when his phone rings. “This is probably it,” he says, picking it up to answer. “This is Sims.”

Martin can’t hear the other side of the call, but Jon grins wide and gets to his feet.

“Excellent,” he says. “I’ll be there shortly.” With that, he hangs up. “Martin, could you please watch my flat while I bail Claire out of jail?”

“I’m sorry, you’re doing what?!” Martin asks, standing up to join him.

Jon clasps his hands in front of his face. “Right. Explanation. Ah, the short version: remember how I warned you not to take a job at the Magnus Institute?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s very possible that it’s about to collapse. Business-wise, not physically. Claire has taken… certain actions to free a Mr. Elias Bouchard from someone controlling him, actions that were done with Bouchard’s consent but look very much like an attack on him. So now Claire’s in jail, and I have to go bail her out.” Jon puts his hands on the back of his head. “Is that enough for now?”

“Wait, you’re saying Mr. Bouchard is under someone else’s control?” Martin asks.

Jon puts his hands in front of his face again, as if praying. “I’ll go into more detail later if I can. That’s probably as much as I can get away with saying unless you actually join the Ministry. But I’ve really gotta go.”

Martin thinks back to his flat and the CV he’s been reworking to give to Siobhan for review before turning it in at her office. It’s a little hope, but it’s still there, and from everything he’s been gathering from his own experience, there’s precious little that’s supposed to be said, anyway. So he nods. “Okay. A-and thanks for the warning about the Magnus Institute.”

Jon nods before grabbing his jacket. “Of course, Martin.” And with that, he heads out the door.

Martin can’t remember the last time he’s been this nervous or this stunned at a job interview.

Of all the people he planned to talk to about his CV and qualifications, Actual Goddamn Cat Burglar Trilby wasn’t even on the long shot list. (Queen Elizabeth II was probably the last name on the long shot list. This is better, though. Trilby by comparison is respectable.)

Trilby, for his part, carries an air of expertise befitting his years. Granted, Martin didn’t know how many of them were spent under the title Occult Researcher until now, that he’s actually spent about as much time doing this as he had being a gentleman thief at this point. But he wears it well.

“So, good under pressure, experience in a day job that could easily serve as cover, familiar with objects that have ties to the Ethereal Realm, minor ability to bluff psychics that could be developed into a real skill, and-” He picks up a letter on his desk. “-a streak of compassion our office apparently needs. Why Mr. Sims thought to include that last one in his recommendation for you is beyond me.”

“Jon wrote a recommendation for me?”

“As did Ms. O’Malley and Ms. Wyndham,” Trilby adds as Martin attempts to process that. “Which is more than most applicants get, even with relevant schooling. Let’s be honest, an actual encounter is rare among those with relevant schooling but often more valuable.” He smiles. “From my own particular experience, I got more money for a real silver necklace than the concept of a gold necklace.” He collects the papers on his desk into a neat stack. “The Ministry technically has to approve you for you to officially be employed by them, but if they don’t, you’re more than welcome to work for us in the STP. Either way, there’s a job here for you if you want it.”

Martin looks up when he hears someone approaching the new library section he’s been building in Artefact Storage, fully expecting it to be Siobhan. (Who would’ve guessed? New job, same supervisor.) He gives a bright smile, however, when he sees it’s Jon joining him. “Hey, Jon! Was wondering when I might run into you.”

“Hey!” Jon calls in return as he approaches. “How’s your first day of work going?”

“As well as can be expected?” Martin answers with a shrug. “Still a little nervous.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Jon assures him before setting down a newspaper on a nearby desk. “Here. The rest of the explanation. And Claire thanks you for your discovery of A Disappearance, however accidental your use of it may or may not have been. It was instrumental in her mission to liberate Elias Bouchard from the control of Jonah Magnus.”

Martin looks over the newspaper article, a curious case of an attack on the head of the Magnus Institute in which Claire Wyndham was found gouging Elias Bouchard’s eyes out with a serrated knife.

“Frehorn’s Blade,” Jon explains, pointing out that part. “She could’ve used anything, really, but Frehorn’s Blade allows the user to take control of the mind and soul of the one they kill with it. Makes banishing someone like Magnus easier. God, I wonder what kind of earful he tried giving Claire before she did.”

“And A Disappearance?”

“Helped shield her from Magnus, who had made his deal with the King’s Eye and has powers similar to that of a psychic. Hence…” He points at his own eyes with two fingers to finish the sentence. “Oh! I didn’t even tell you the part where we’re fairly certain the Peter you encountered before finding that pamphlet is from the Lukas family. They have financial ties to the Magnus Institute, but we’re not sure right now if that means they’ll do anything with it. We’re-”

Martin looks up when Jon stops. “Ah, you were saying?”

Jon shakes his head. “Well, I started the joke. I might as well finish it: we’re keeping an eye on the situation.”

Martin makes a snort of a laugh through his nose before he continues reading the article. It states that, in spite of how brutal the attack appeared, the now blind Bouchard has chosen not to press charges against Wyndham. He actually thanked her. The fate of the Magnus Institute is still in question according to the newspaper, but it’s very likely Martin’s not going to be the only new recruit to the Ministry of Occultism soon, and there’s going to be a lot of new things to sort in Artefact Storage if it’s not kept in the Institute’s building. He might end up with a proper Librarian title before long.

“So that day when Claire and Siobhan were having that meeting in the office?” Martin asks.

“A séance to contact Bouchard,” Jon answers. “28th July is the best day to attempt such things, the day when the barrier between the Physical Realm and the Ethereal Realm is at its thinnest.”

Martin nods at this. “I think that explains everything, then.” He hands the paper back to Jon. “Thank you. I’m glad you told me.”

“Glad I got the chance to,” Jon replies, taking the paper.

But after that, Jon still doesn’t leave.

Martin smiles at him again. “Ah, was there something else?”

“Yes, actually,” Jon says, fidgeting with the paper for a little bit before folding it and tucking it under his arm. “I was thinking, it being your first day- ah, I know you said you’re nervous, so I understand if the answer’s no, but- I mean, if you’re hungry, would you-? That is, I’d like to take you out for a celebratory lunch date?”

Martin swallows, taking in everything about the moment. “So, when-” He licks his lips without thinking, and Jon seems to be watching him just as intently as he’s watching Jon. “-when you say a lunch date…?”

“I mean a date,” Jon quickly clarifies. “Unless- unless you’d rather- if you don’t like food?” He puts his hand to his forehead. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be a date if you just want the food, but if you’re not hungry right now but still want to get out for your lunch break- o-or if you don’t want the food and want to get out on your lunch break and consider it a- a d-date, then-”

Martin doesn’t even think, just reaches out to lower Jon’s hand from his forehead much in the same way he did when prompting him to put his wallet away.

Jon abruptly shuts up at the touch, pulled out of the circles he was talking himself in. “Martin?” he quietly asks, looking at the point of contact before meeting Martin’s eyes.

“I’d love to go on a date with you,” Martin answers just as softly. “Heh, have for a while now. Not sure how that got past you.”

“I mean, I do try to give you your privacy,” Jon says, but his mouth gently blooms into a smile as he does. He turns his hand so he’s properly holding Martin’s instead of just touching it. “But I think, now that you’ve said it, I could feel it coming off of you.” He slowly knits their fingers together. “Feeling it isn’t the same as naming it, after all.”

“Some psychic you are,” Martin playfully chides, leaning a bit closer and squeezing Jon’s hand. “No wonder you’re just Assistant Psychic Investigator.”

“Hey, Claire says I have great potential,” Jon protests with a little shove. “When she’s not cooing about how I look like a junior version of Trilby.”

“You do dress like him,” Martin points out.

“It’s just a suit; I don’t even wear a hat.”

“And you’re both the sort to wear a suit working a shift at a cafe, aren’t you?” Martin asks, gesturing to his own outfit of a jumper over a shirt and jeans, still very much the sort of thing he might wear working at the cafe.

Jon tugs at their joined hands a little bit, ready to lead him out. “Hey, that was one shift. But that reminds me not to take you to the cafe for our lunch date. Not today, anyway. Maybe once we’re not sure to be the hot office gossip. That’s the one terrible thing about my supervisor being a Psychic Investigator.”

But Martin stands still even as Jon tries to pull him along.

Jon stops and looks back. “Hmm? You haven’t changed your mind or anything, have you?”

“No, it’s not that,” Martin assures him, tugging him back. “I was just wondering-”

“Yes,” Jon immediately answers, moving in a bit closer.

Martin’s mouth drops open a little. “Yes to what?” he asks.

“Yes, you can kiss me,” Jon clarifies, reaching up to brush his fingers along Martin’s cheek.

“Maybe you’re a better psychic than I tho-”

But the rest of Martin’s sentence gets lost against Jon’s mouth, a tender, tentative brush of their lips together repeated twice, thrice to make sure it actually happened, staying close afterwards, reluctant to part.

“Oh,” Jon sighs, the breath of it on Martin’s mouth.

“Yeah,” Martin agrees. And then, “Thought that would come at the end of the date.”

“Why wait for that if we want the kiss now?” Jon asks, actually drawing away this time and resuming pulling him along to go to lunch.

“Will I have to worry about you reading my mind?” Martin asks in return, following along this time.

Jon looks at him over his shoulder with a little roll of his eyes. “I mean, just because I know what name to put to it now doesn’t mean I’m just scrolling through your brain like I’m on my phone.” He presses his lips together in thought, and Martin has to give him the benefit of the doubt since he’d very much like to kiss him again. “I’ll keep that in mind, though. So I’m not just talking over your thoughts.”

“Hey, you said yourself that you do what you can to control it,” Martin says, giving his hand another squeeze. “But thank you.”

Jon squeezes his hand back, smiling up at him.

Martin smiles back and asks, “So, where are we going for lunch?”

And Jon resumes pulling Martin along, talking about this perfect little Italian place near their building, occasionally squeezing their joined hands as they go.

#tma #chzo mythos #aura's fanfiction #on this day in aura's tma/chzo mythos fanfiction

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the-t-boy-king · 7 months

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Miles' big packer review!

I'm so sorry this has taken so long for me to do. I've been busy with school and work, and I barely have any time for myself. I'm now taking some time to write this. I try to keep my packers on the cheaper side since A. I'm a broke college student that was only able to afford these and B. good cheap packers are hard to find.

As always, trigger Waring for below the cut. The packers I'm looking at look like a penis so if you don't want to see that move along please!

I'm going to start with just the normal packers since they would be easiest to start with.

Mr. Limpy: 3/5 from trans guy supply (cost: $15)

Mr. Limpy is most people's starter packer. It is cheap so it's good to get if you want to try packing. I like this one. It gives a decent bulge, even the small one. It gets a 3/5 because it is not very durable. If you want it to last a bit, you have to be careful. That being said, I do recomeed getting Mr. Limpy for a starter packer. It's a good starter peen, if you will.

2. Classic Silicone packer from AXOLOM: 4.5/5 (cost: $32 USD)

I'm using the photos from AXOLOM website since it's easier and would show it better than I can. I love this packer. It's a good solid packer. I'm taking off half a point because it is a bit hard to packer with at times. The balls are a bit big so it weighs it down. Depending on what you're using to pack with, you might need to readjust it during the day. The bulge can be a bit big, so if you want it on the bigger side, this is a great pick.

3. Au Naturel packer from AXOLOM; 5/5 ( cost:$29 USD)

This packer is the one I use the most. As you can see, the shaft is longer while the balls are smaller. It gives a really great bulge, not too big and not too small, and it's not awkward to pack with. The back of the packer is smooth making it rest against you in a comfy way. Sometimes it is a bit hard to pack with since it is slimmer, but it's nothing that bugs me enough to take a point off.

STPs

4. Freely STP from Trans Guy Supply 2/5 (cost:$45 USD)

I was really disappointed by this STP. Now, even though I'm giving it a bad review doesn't mean it's a bad STP. I've seen tons of other people who use and like it. It just doesn't work for me. It's a good STP if you can get it to work for you. I couldn't so I'm giving it 2/5. The silicone feels a bit thin on this STP. The bowl doesn't hold up well if you have big thighs like I do. If you pee fast, then you might want to stay away from it. I will say that it is easy to pack with, so that's a win for the Freely. The shaft wasn't long enough for me, but I don't think that's the fault of the STP, I think it's because my jeans are a big on me.

5. Freely XL from Trans Guy Supply 4.5/5 (cost: $50 USD)

I love this one. It works great for me. The shaft is long enough for me to use while wearing jeans, the hole is bigger so people who pee fast can use it without much worry of spilling, the bowl is more firm, and best of all, it works for people with big thighs like me. The only reason why this doesn't get a perfect 5/5 is because it is hard to pack with. STPs in general are hard to pack with because they are more firm than a soft packer. Since the XL is bigger, unless you want to look like you're bricked up all the time, you have to pack up or to the side. I pack up and it can be annoying. If I want to keep it in place, I have to wear a belt. However, ever since I got the XL, I've gotten a lot better at using a STP. I still get spills and overflow at times but I can mostly use it as long as I take my time.

So there we go, a quick review of the packers I have. If anyone has any questions, just shoot me an ask and I'll be happy to answer.

#miles talks #transgender #transmasc #trans men #STP ftm #STP review #Packers ftm #stand to pee ftm #nonbinary #queer

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