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keys-hellscape-1020 · 10 months

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Yeet.

A/N: this is just pure word vomit. I’m so sorry. The title is SO bad but I was giggling so hard when I wrote it. Also this is literally so fucking self-indulgent.

Summary: Spider-People have a sixth sense. This is common knowledge to anyone who intimately knows one. What you didn’t know however was that it can occasionally misinterpret intentions, leading to disastrous results.

Hobie Brown x gn!Reader

Contents: No use of Y/N, anxiety mentions, reader gets full on thrown through a window, reader dissociates (symptoms of dissociation are described in depth), reader gets injured, angst, hurt/comfort

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It was mid-afternoon, the sun starting to lower towards the sky-line as you hauled your bags back from the grocery store. It wasn’t a long walk, not by any means, by the bags were heavy with ingredients for dinner and the sun was at the perfect angle to shine in your eye.

As you dragged yourself through the lobby of your apartment you could feel your heart flutter at the gentle vibration of your phone in your pocket. Hobie must be telling you that he entered through the window. How you longed to see him, today had been impossibly long and he had a subtle way of making everything better.

As you shuffled your way into the elevator, smacking the button awkwardly with your elbow, you impatiently watched as you rose through the levels of your apartment building.

It felt like a century. But eventually you were met with the sweet ding of the elevator reaching the correct floor. You dragged yourself one last time out of the elevator and down the hall, however instead of the sound of sweet guitar cords you were met with silence.

You anxiously creep down the hallway. When Hobie comes over he always plays his guitar loud enough for the whole floor to hear. As annoying as it was to your neighbors you couldn’t find it in you to ask him to stop, the sweet melody melting the stress right off your bones.

You somehow manage to mangle your key out of your pocket without putting anything down, and as soon as you’re inside you’re dropping your groceries without a care in the world and pulling out your phone.

As you unlock it your worst fear is confirmed, it was Hobie texting you alright. Him not playing his guitar almost certainly meant something was horribly wrong. To make matters worst Hobie had said he had a “surprise” for you. That made the anxiety in your stomach twist even harder, the idea of one of Hobie’s many enemies capturing him, or using you to get to him sparking to life in your mind.

You leave the door to your apartment open a crack, just incase you need to run, and creep down the hallway. The door to your bedroom is open just a crack, and light is spilling out of your room, causing you to hold your breath as you creep closer.

You perch on your toes, hoping to decrease the chance of someone hearing you as you near the door, hands posed at your side, ready to fight for your life or run as fast as your legs could carry you at a moments notice.

You lean on the door frame and push the door open another few inches using the side of your foot, holding your breath as the hinges let out a loud squeak.

When you don’t hear any immediate threats coming from inside the room you carefully shift your weight forward, gripping the door frame like it would keep you from harm.

You feel your heart leap with relief as you see not one of Hobie’s enemies, but Hobie himself. He’s sitting in your desk chair, facing the closed window. He has his guitar in his hands, but that is not what stands out to you. Instead what stands out is the pair of headphones on his head, forcing his wicks out of the way in a messy way that shows he has not taken much care when placing them on his head in the first place.

You scrunch your nose in delight at the comical sight and decide that some teasing is in order, after the near heart attack he gave you.

You creep forward, your movements reminding you of a cat as a Cheshire grin grows on your face. You still completely when you’re in pouncing distance and you see Hobie’s finger still on his guitar strings. A small cue, but one that indicated you’re plan would be foiled if you didn’t attack right… Now!

You pounce forward, you barely feel your nails scrap the thread of Hobie’s shirt before a firm force is pressing on your stomach, pushing you up and over yourself.

You can barely breath, a second and an eternity pass as you crash through the air.

You don’t think you’ve ever hit anything as hard as you just did.

The top of your head and one of your shoulders feel the crunch of the impact first, but it does nothing to slow your movements as your thighs crumple downwards you, and then past you still.

It doesn’t take you long to realize that you’re falling.

Not that you had a long time to realize.

You didn’t realize that you had the instinct to face the ground. Was that something that was impeded in every human? Or were you simply privy to this trait as you saw your boyfriend leap through the air on a near daily basis?

Whatever the cause, your descent is stopped by the feeling of something pulling on your back. It reminds you of how a bully would pull on your backpack in middle school, only if the bully was a double-decker bus instead of a 12 year old.

Your internal debate on the nature of 12-year-old assholes is stopped as you feel an arm wrap around your waist, pulling you in through the cracked frame of a window.

You didn’t remember being pulled in the wrong way through the air. Traveling in reverse. But it would be impossible to forget Hobie’s face staring at you with as much concern as you’ve ever seen on it, eyes wide and almost glassy.

You can feel the tightness of his grip on your shoulders, and you’re sure his fingerprints will be imprinted in your skin. You can see his mouth moving quickly but you can’t hear his voice.

You look vaguely at the busted window frame, the wood is cracked and splintering in nearly a hundred places. You fear your landlords reaction when he sees that. How are you going to explain it?

You feel Hobie gently brushing your forehead with his thumb, pulling you from your thoughts. You look down and see small specks of glass, almost like glitter, dusting your lap. You raise a hand to your head and it comes back a deep vermilion, you swear it sparks the same as that damned glitter.

You feel Hobie’s hand on your cheek, turning your eyes towards him.

“You with me?” Hobie’s eyes are large and concerned, troubled brows peering at you.

You can barely find the strength to make eye contact, mind still far off, falling through the atmosphere, clouds catching in your throat.

You feel Hobie’s firm thumb on your cheek, consistent pressure pulling your mind back down to earth.

“Hey now. Focus on me.”

You blink a few times, and slowly feel your bones becoming solid once more. You can hear the traffic out the window, Hobie’s breathing, feel the warmth of blood on your head. You find your chest naturally matching the rhythm of Hobie’s as he breathes deeply, prompting you to copy him.

You go to reach up to your head once more, intent of seeing how bad your injury is, but Hobie grabs your wrist and pulls your hand back down.

He stares at you for an intense moment before he scoops you up bridal style, being so incredibly gentle as he stands.

“Let’s get you cleaned up Luv.” He sounds more quite and subdued then you have ever heard him. He walks oh so gently, slow and smooth so as not to bump or jostle you.

He sits you down on the counter of the bathroom gently, and pulls a first-aid kit out from under the sink. Typically it is you patching him up after patrol, looks like the tables have turned this time.

He works in utter silence. His first mission is staunching the wound on your head. It’s no where near the point of requiring stitches, it had simply bleed a lot as head wounds are prone to doing. He cleans the wound efficiently, and before you know it the wound is hidden by a thick, white bandage on your forehead.

The rest of your wounds are thankfully small, and don’t take much treatment. After a few wipes from a damp cloth and some Neosporin your wounds are treated. The only evidence that still prove the incident occurred recently is your blood stained clothing.

Hobie stays in the same spot he was in as he treated your wounds, hovering almost. His normally large presence has shrunk and if your didn’t know better you’d say he was trying to hide himself away from you.

You are staring at your hands, finding your fingers very interesting as the intense silence clouds the air, closing in around your throat you want to say something to break it, but your throat chokes in on itself as soon as you open it.

“I’m sorry.”

Hobie looks so small as he whispers those words to you. His hands are ghosts on your thighs, you can feel him, but you’ve never felt so separated from him. He eyes the tile of the bathroom and you can practically see him beating himself up, pulling away from you in a belligerent attempt to protect you.

You gently place a hand on his cheek and turn his face towards yours, forcing him to look at you. “I don’t blame you.”

“I know.”

“I still trust you.”

He glanced away from you briefly, and blinks aggressively like he’s fighting off tears. “Are you sure you should?”

Instead of a verbal response you take one of his hands from your thigh and guide it your head, setting the tips of his fingers right on the thick bandage that lays there. “This is proof that you care. That it was an accident and we both regret it. I trust you with my life.”

He suddenly lurches forward, pulling you into his body with a sob. You hold him gently as he cries into you, rubbing his back comfortingly, letting him feel his emotions and let them out.

You have no idea how long you sat there on your bathroom counter, blood stained clothing as you try to piece back together the broken pieces of your boyfriend without any words. But none were needed.

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mono-dot-jpeg · 9 months

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too aware - express crew

summary; a self aware kid walks into the express and.. they shock the crew more than a stellaron.

genre/extra tags; headcanons, fluff, slight comedy, the child is aware, the child traumatizes the crew more than anything else /j, they have seen it all, reader is implied to be a vidyadhara

[platonic] [6-7 years old! reader] [gender neutral! reader]

a/n; i have,,, no idea if i'll be writing this correctly at all. honestly it's really reminding me of being really self aware, which i kind of relate to KSDJKSJD, so there will be some of that mostly. i've never really written a character like this. but i hope you enjoy.

also possible spoilers for those who havent reached the xianzhou quests yet. sorry.

what can i even say to start...

let's just say you're a kind of new to the express, you were part of the luofu or at least training to be part of the cloud knights

despite being such an old self-reincarnating species, sometimes you just wanted to start from the beginning, have an empty and open mind to enjoy your curiosities.

you would argue that you were the most cheerful vidyadhara out of the comrades you knew for centuries

but some people knew better

you were sweet, don't get it twisted but when the express crew met you for the first time

let me rephrase, when dan heng and welt met you for the first time .. .

"you... know a lot, don't you?"

you whispered to dan heng

you probably just scared the shit out of him so unintentionally.

you totally know who dan heng really is

you're just as old as he is, maybe a bit younger but you're not stupid

and then you look to welt, and you end up introducing yourself with a cute smile on your face as if you didn't look through dan heng's soul 10 secs ago

dan heng felt whiplash as he watches you talk to welt

welt is concerned for you. he knows that look in your eyes, when you know so much, when you're so aware of yourself and everything but you're so happy

"you must be a smart kid.." welt says softly. "do you know a lot as well?"

"i do."

it's a really interesting relationship that kind of develops as father figure and kid.

you connect to himeko and welt very easily with your experiences

you know a lot and you've experienced a lot, you eventually confess to being of the limited species of the xianzhou, vidyadhara

and you're happily proud of it. you're comfortable as to who you are.

with the trio on the other hand, you're really curious about march and trailblazer the most due to their origins

and they gladly indulged you.

"please tell me more about you!" you would tell them and inquire about them quite a bit

dan heng and you had confusing relations, you knew him from the past and he knew you

and you seemed the same despite your physical age

and dan heng.. you wish you knew more about him

so you end up being curious about him

and as expected, you two are the closest to each other

you're sweet to everyone despite the hardships you faced and you always look at the world with realism and yet you find a way to appreciate the good and bad

while everyone is concerned about how self aware and aware of the world you are as young as you are, you carved a place in their hearts and you never fail to surprise them with your outlooks on everything around you.

#honkai x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr welt #welt yang x reader #welt yang #welt x reader #honkai star rail welt #hsr caelus #caelus x reader #stelle x reader #stelle honkai star rail #hsr march 7th #hsr himeko #honkai himeko #himeko honkai star rail #himeko x reader #caelus honkai star rail

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a-nemoiia · 2 months

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「 Hidden scars 」

Summary: The emotional scars from Robert's traumatic childhood pose an obstacle in his marriage.

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: A slap (he deserves it) + reference to abortion

Note: Thank you to @red-riding-wood for helping me 🫶🏻

The clicking of fine silverware against family china was the only sound piercing throught the heavy silence that had fallen over the dinning room, everyone's eyes drifted between one another, exchanging glances as if they could see the dark cloud hanging heavily over your husband's head, a visible indication of his sour mood.

Hesitation gripped your heart as you looked at Robert, his eyes distant, barely interested in the food infront of him as he pushed it around the plate, Gently, you tried to reach for his hand to comfort him, but before you could Robert withdrew his, as if your touch was meant to burn him.

The heavy scrap of wood against floor tiles caught everyone's attention, as Robert pushed his chair back, stood on his feet and excused himself, leaving you behind, sitting there under the heavy gaze of judgement from both your families.

Your heart ached, and you moved from your chair in an attempt to follow him but the cold voice of the old man stopped you"Leave him" Robert's father said dismissively, not even showing the slightest bit of concern for his only son "He's always causing trouble" he muttered under his breath, making your hand tighten around your cutlery, how could any parent be so heartless!

A couple of hours earlier...

You stood in the bathroom, frozen, your eyes locked on the plastic stick in your hand displaying two red lines. A surge of emotions took place within you, Joy, excitement but most of all fear...

Beacuse you and Robert never talked about growing your little family...well, you did, all he did was just listen, "It's still a bit early for that" he'd say, dismissing the conversation whenever you broached the topic on a random night,. It worried you, what if he wasn't ready yet? But you've been married for quite sometime now, and his father frequently asking for grandchildren only added pressure.

"Babe!" Robert called over for you but his voice couldn't pierce through the turmoil taking place inside your head, you remind motionless, your eyes kept staring at the two faint lines, as if sheer concentration could make them vanish.

Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice his return until he called for you again"Y/n..." robert spoke your name from the door way, still clad in his expensive suit, turning around to fully face him, you saw his gaze drift to the test in your hand, like iron to magent, with a nervous smile on your face you gently announced "I'm pregnant", Hoping that these words would bring him joy.

Unfortunately, silence was his only response, the man with blue eyes simply turned around and continued his daily routine without exchanging a single word with you. Leaving you with doubts you dreaded believing now confirmed.

That evening you remained seated at the dinner table, drained, after the families took their leave, your eyes obsereved the maids as they cleared away the plates. With a heavy sigh you rose from your seat, and made your way upstairs to where your husband was.

With a simple push, the bedroom door opened quitley, stepping inside, you found Robert standing in the balcony, gazing out into the night, slowly you made your way to him, and gently you placed a hand on his back "Robbie..." you started although you didn't know what to say "I don't want children" Robert said without turning, his voice cutting through the silence and might as well through your heart "What?" you asked, your voice barely audible.

Your husband turned around to face you then, the gentle eyes you swore held the warmth of a thousand sun now cold as ice "I dont want kids" he repeated, plainly.

With a quite sigh you reached for him, smoothing his already wrinkle free shirt in a calming gesture "Robbie, I know this is sooner than expected, but I'm sure we're will be fine..." you said, in a soothing voice, trying to calm your worried husband, a loving smile tugging on your lips as visions of your happy future filled your heart.

Robert shock his head, removing your hands not so gently, he looked at you intensely, and you could see the internal conflict ragging within him"You're not listening y/n, I don't want kids, not now, not ever" he said firmly and you swore you could hear your heart splinter within your chest.

The rejection cut deep as the future which seemed to take shape inside your head shattered into a million piece...

Deep down you knew he wasn't ready, a small part of you already expected him to react this way, but you never imagined such a blunt rejection. Your thoughts raced as you looked at him, the moonlight creased his features and you searched his face for any sign that he didn't mean what he said.

"How could you keep this from me? I've talked about this countless times, not once did you think I should know about your true feeling?" you asked with a frown, your tone showing the hurt and frustration buildind inside you.

Robert strode into the room, leaving you standing in the balcony, but you matched his steps, uwilling to let him brush this topic aside anymore, not when you're already carrying his child...

Grasping his arm, you brought his strides to a halt "Don't walk away from me!" you pleaded, "I'm carrying your child Robert, I know we didn't plan this but that doesn't change anything" you continued, looking into his eyes earnestly, but Robert rolled his eyes at your statement as if he didn't believe you.

Skipitism was written all over his face"Give me a break, You think I'll believe this wasn't your plan all along?" Robert accused you, as he gestured coldly at your still-flat abdomen.

His words stung deeply. the man who always expressed his profound love to you now accused without care for your feeling. The lips that kissed away your tears now dripped with venom and the tongue that whispered sweet nothings in your ear every night now turned sharp meant to inflict pain.

Shocked, you whispered in disbelief as you fought back tears "You...you truly believe I tricked you?", his words felt like a punch in the gut. How could he think so low of you? Why right now when you've been together for years already!

A bitter scoffe escaped his lips "Why not? You've been nagging about this for how long now? A year? 2 years? Of course you'd pull up a stunt" Robert said, and before his rational thoughts could intervene, he spat his next words "Is it even mine?" anger ignited within you, mingling with your hurt, without reasoning your hands met his cheek in a sharp slap.

Silence bounced off the walls following the echo, as you both looked at each other, like two strangers on roads that don't intersect. Distrust and anguish overflowing from your eyes.

Your voice cracked with the threat of tears "Don't you fucking dare, Fischer... If I wanted to have that kid through manipulation it would've happened long time ago, on our first night together" you said through gritted teeth.

Taking a shakey breath you continued "But that had never been my way... I'm not someone who plots behind my partner's back, I don't make the biggest life decisions alone, I don't decide for our future without sharing a word" you said, tears escaped your eyes, your chest heaving with effort to contain the pain eating at your heart, as your gaze held his.

Visably swallowing the thick sliva trapped in his throat, Robert squeezed his eyes shut before he dared to speak "We don't have to go through with it.There are ways to-...we can just stay as we are, nothing needs to change" he said quitley, his gaze avoiding yours as his words hung heavy in the air.

You couldn't fathom the suggestion that just came out from the mouth of the man who had vowed to cherish you, sharp and painful like the singing crack of a whip. However, the look in Robert's eyes didn't match the bitterness tainting his tongues...

Looking at your husband, you didn't see malice but fear, as if deeper pain and confusion was hiding beneath the surface of what he said.

Standing before you, wasn't a cruel man but a lost child, who grasped at the only answer he knew, because at least to him, it seemed better than facing failure and safer than turning anything like his own father...

The vulnerability in your husband's eyes slowly erased the anger inside of you, replacing it with compassion and empathy towards the man who was hurting as much as you right now.

Drawing a shallow breath that barely seemed to fill your lunges, you thought about your next words carefully "I believe we need time to think...I'm not going to force you into a life you didn't chose, Robert...neither can I stay where trust has been broken" you said, wiping away the traces of fresh tears staining your cheeks, you continued "... Until then, I'll be waiting for your decision, and I can only hope that this time you'll share it with me before it's too late again" with that your legs carried you out of the room

Your parting words left Robert to reflect on everything that had happened, his heart chanting prayers, matching the ones inside you, that this won't destroy everything you had built together... that this time, he'd be making the right choice, for you, him and the future of the little life growing inside you, soon to enter his world.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #robert fischer x y/n #robert fischer x reader #inception fanfiction #robert fischer imagine #robert fischer x you #robert fischer fic #cillian murphy fanfiction

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eternalsams · 11 months

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Skinny Dip ⇴ Dagger Squad

pairing: dagger squad x fem!reader (all platonic)

content:/warning: fluff, angst, cancer, death, grief, swearing, innuendos, mention of porn, a bit of nudity, inaccuracies about military and cancer (please forgive me)

Prompt: "Last summer was one no one could ever forget. Now, a year later, character(s) still feel(s) the effects of that time." (by @tgm-all4one)

summary: Last year was quite traumatizing for the Daggers and they need something to remind them of the good old times.

word count: 3.4k

notes: English isn't my first language, please take that into consideration. Also, the moment I read about that challenge, I knew what I had to do, and I wanted to apologize for what you're about to read, I know some hearts might break and some mean words might be directed towards me, and I completely understand so don't hold back and throw me all your hate, I LOVE IT!!

FLASHBACKS IN ITALICS

masterlist

Bradley parks his Bronco just next to the Hard Deck before turning off the ignition. He sighs loudly and rests his head on the steering wheel. He closes his eyes and tries to clear his mind, reminding himself why he was here. He clears his throat and turns to his backseat to grab the beach bag he packed up before leaving. He gets out of the car and notices Jake's truck and Natasha's car in the parking lot. He walks up to the beach and can see the dark smoke of the bonfire. He puts a smile on his face and joins his friends. He hugs Natasha who's sadly smiling at him and she softly rubs his back before letting go. He quickly hugs Jake and asks him if he needs any help with the fire.

You try to carry the many logs in your arms, sticking your tongue out in concentration. "You know... You could just ask for help." Jake laughs as he carries his own logs. "I don't need you, Bagman. I've been camping since I was 3, I can carry logs without any help." Jake rolls his eyes and when the two of you reach the others, you can't stop but sigh when you drop the wood in the little pit Rooster dug into the sand. Jake drops his own logs into the pit and taps on your shoulder, laughing. "Just shut up..." You groan.

Bradley just stays sat next to the fire, watching the flames dancing as they wait for the others to arrive. He just listens to the cracklings and he can hear Jake and Natasha having small talks. The sound of loud music pulls him from his thoughts and he raises his head, watching Mickey and Bob chatting in the parking lot. Reuben and Javy join a couple of minutes after that and they all start chatting and drinking. Sometimes one of them sighs and a silence takes over the moment before someone tries to crack a joke. The sun disappears behind the ocean and they're joined by the billions of starts above them, the moon shining bright and reflecting into the calm water. Bradley stays silent a little moment, his gaze fixed on the sand between his toes, before he takes a gimp of his beer and stands up. "I'd like to say something." Everyone turns to him and stops talking, knowing perfectly what was about to be said. "A year ago, we... lived something I never thought living all over again, and the fact I already faced it doesn't help with the pain. I don't know how you're holding up but it's been a very long year for me..." He can feel the tremble in his voice and the tears threatening from spilling and running down his face. But he stays strong, for his friends. "I'm glad we're all here today, Y/N would have appreciated it." He then sits back down and it's all silent again, just the sound he makes drinking his beer being heard. "To Y/N..." Natasha raises her drink and waits for the others to join her. They all raise their drink in turn, all of their voices echoing in the quiet evening.

You pass the doors of the locker room, the head low and deep in your thoughts. You don't even notice Natasha changing into her flight suit. Your just reach for your locker and open it, your gaze still looking into the void. You come back to reality with a start when you feel Nat's hand on your shoulder. "Hey, you're okay?" She asks you with worry painted all over her face. It wasn't you to just walk in a room and say nothing. "Yeah... Why ya asking?" You just turn back to your locker and takes off your shirt, tossing it into the locker. "I've been calling you several times, you didn't react." She zips up her suit and grabs her helmet. "I'm tired, is all."You try to give her a warm smile but she can clearly see it doesn't reach your ears like it usually does when you're smiling. She doesn't want to push you so she simply nods and leaves the room, leaving you alone with your thousands of thoughts. The words of the doctor you saw this morning just repeating in your head. Brain tumor. Too late. Inoperable.

"You guys remember when Y/N got so drunk she asked us to go skinny dip with her?" Bob laughs, looking up at the stars above them. The memory raises laughter among the group and a soft smile appears on Jake's lips. "I actually went with her that night." The confession earns him a few disgusted noises and gags among some mindless insults. That made him laugh. "I didn't go into the water or even got naked. I just looked after her from the beach, watching her having so much fun in the ocean. She was laughing so hard, I thought she would wake up all Fighter Town." He laughs and the others stop insulting him, just listening to Jake's secret memory. He rubs his face and wipes the first tears forming under his eyes. "I actually skinny dipped with her once." Natasha confesses, and a wave a wolf whistles is heard. She almost regrets immediately telling the boys her little secret but she really wanted to share the memory and keep the mood light. "Please tell me you got home together and had a pillow fight in cute Pj's." Jake smirks at her and she throws a handful of sand in his face to make him shut up. The blond pilot grimaces and spits sand before rubbing his tongue and his eyes, groaning. "What kind of porn do you think you live in?" She laughs and she watches her friend trying to spit all the sand in his mouth and she lies down, her head resting on her crossed arms. "It was just before she told us. I guess she wanted to create some memories." The silence comes back as they all know what she means by 'she told us'. Probably one of the worst day of their entire life.

You were waiting for the others to join you at the Hard Deck. Hell, you even asked Maverick to come, he deserved to learn it from you too. You were looking at your feet as you were pacing, Penny glancing at you as she was cleaning some stuff. You hear the door open and Jake's voice shouting. "The Queen has required my presence so here I am!" You smile at his antics and go to hug him tight. He's quite surprised by your display of affection but hugs you back. When you pull away, he ruffles your hair and you grumble. "Hello, Sunshine... So, what's the object of our meeting?" He asks as he sits down on a stool. "Can we... just wait for the others to arrive? I want all of you to be here before I say anything." You look back at the doors, checking if anybody else arrived. "Is everything alright?" He asks, frowning and a bit worried. You don't want to lie to him but you're not ready to tell him yet so you don't say anything and fake a warm smile. "Don't try to get any hint, Bagman." You elbow him gently and his frown is replaced by a kind smirk. "Alright, alright..." He quickly rubs his face before standing up and walking to Penny, asking her for an old fashioned. Jake was always early to everything so it didn't surprise you that he arrived first and the others took their time to join you.

When you made sure everyone was here, the whole place is on edge. Everyone wants to know why you asked them to meet you in the middle of your day off. You're standing in front of them and refuse to look into their eyes. "Okay, hum... I guess this is the moment to tell you something quite important. Since we've been reunited last year for this suicide mission, you've all become the closest thing to what I call a family. And I'll never thank enough fate for putting us all together and for making me meet all of you." You're fidgeting with your bracelet as you keep your head low, shifting your weight from one foot to another. "But I guess every good thing has its end." You chuckle dryly and finally look up, crossing pairs of concerned gazes. "Few weeks ago, I had my medical exam to check if I would be clear to fly this year and they found something. In my brain." You gulp and slightly jump when you hear a glass knock against the wooden bar. You look at Bradley and see his jaw tightening, he already knows what that means, he's been there before. He's looking deeply into your eyes, waiting for the bomb to drop. You take a deep breath and maintain his eye contact. "It's untreatable..."

The silence comes back in the Hard Deck and Penny is the first one to react, walking around the counter and wrapping her arms around you. She's whispering apologies in your ear but your eyes are still on your friends, they're all shocked, they don't know what to say. You blink and Jake stands up, leaving the bar, slamming the door behind him. You can still see him through the windows and he sits down on the steps, burying his face into his hands and you can see his shoulders slightly shake with sobs. You don't blame him. He doesn't really like showing his vulnerability, but you're his weakness. Bob and Natasha wrap their arms around you in turn, promising you they'll be there for you if you need anything. Javy quickly hugs you and kiss your hair before going to check on his best friend outside. Mickey and Reuben hug you in turn and Maverick is the last one to face you. "Captain... It's been an honor..." You try to smile and joke but he simply takes you in his arms and you let yourself close your eyes and breathe deeply, feeling safe in his arms. When he pulls back, you're met with Bradley and he's opening his mouth, trying to find the right words, but he can't. "I'm sorry..." You whisper and he quickly looks away, chuckling dryly. "You shouldn't be apologizing." He takes your hands in his and just traces the lines of your palms with his thumbs. "I'm sorry you have to go through this all over again." You mutter and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your cheek on his chest and listening to his fast heartbeat. "It's not your fault, kiddo... It's not your fault..." He kisses the top of your head and rubs your back.

The seven friends can hear the crickets singing and the waves crashing on the rock a little further. The light mood from earlier disappeared when Natasha mentioned the sad day of your announcement. "Maybe we should skinny dip in her memory..." Mickey wonders with a kind smile, looking around at his friends. "I'm not getting naked with porn-guy over there." Natasha immediately refuses, pointing at Jake. "It was a joke, Phoe'. I wouldn't even want to see you naked..." He mutters the last part. "We don't need to get naked, just in our underwear would be enough to make her happy." Mickey smiles a bit more, already undoing his laces and taking off his shoes and socks. "Come on, guys..." He begs when he sees none of his friends follow him in his idea. "I do it if you do." Bradley looks over at Natasha with a smirk. "Don't get too excited, Bradshaw. We might think you wanna see me naked." She laughs and starts stripping. Mickey grins and sees Reuben, Bob and Javy starting undressing as well. He gives Jake a pointed look and the blonde sighs. "Alright... But don't jump on me as soon as I'm undressed." He unbuckles his belt and Javy whistles jokingly. "We wouldn't dream of it, Bagman." Natasha is quick to shut him up and he simply rolls his eyes with a soft smile. When they're all wearing nothing but their underwear, they stay around the fire, looking at each other with silly faces. "What now? I mean... We've all got killer bodies but I won't stay like that all night long, it's kinda cold." Bradley jokes and a few laughs erupt. "You're scared the cold air might affect your body, Bradshaw?" Jake laughs and is immediately stopped when Bradley growls and starts chasing him.

The two men run on the sand, sometimes almost falling face first and Jake ends up jumping into the cold water. Bradley stops in his track with a grin and watches his friend stands up in the water, a shocked expression painted all over his face. "The water is freezing!" He screams and hurries to get out of the water but Bradley runs to him and tackles him back into the water. The rest of the squad erupts in laughter and they start running to the water to join the two men bickering in the cold water. When the water reaches Natasha's feet, she lets out a scream but doesn't stop in her track and dives right into the ocean. She lets the cold water hug her and wash her of the day's sweat before joining the others at the surface. She rubs her face and brings back her hair, laughing. She notices Jake shivering and his lips starting to turn purple-ish. She chuckles and splashes him right in the face. The blond pilot groans and slashes her back but she uses Bradley as a human shield. Jake laughs loudly at his frenemy's face but his smile quickly falls down when the Bradshaw pushes on his head to push him underwater for a few seconds. Natasha turns to Bob who let his glasses on the beach and now has to squint to see correctly. She splashes him and he screams before splashing back, but he doesn't really see her and ends up splashing Javy. Reuben and Mickey quickly join the water fight and the laughter can be heard from the beach.

They end up staying in the ocean for what seems like an eternity and when they go back to their stuff on the beach, the sun is slowly rising. They're completely drenched to the bones but silly smiles are engraved on their faces as they sit down on the sand. Natasha rests her head on Bob's shoulder who puts back his glasses on his noses. Mickey is lying down on her lap and she mindlessly plays with the short curls starting to grow on his head. "She would have loved this improvised not-so-skinny dipping..." Jake eventually says, his voice raw from all the screaming and all the laughing. Nobody says anything else but everyone agrees with him. For once. Natasha closes her eyes and ends up falling asleep on her WSO's shoulder and Mickey falls himself asleep on her lap. Bradley and Jake fall asleep a bit later too, lying down on the sand, their faces covered by their own shirts. Javy and Reuben share the cover they used to keep them out of the sand as a blanket and fall asleep. Three hours later, when Maverick gets off his bike, he notices several figures on the sand. He frowns and when he steps closer, he recognizes his squad, asleep and half naked on the sand. Confusion is written all over his face until he checks the day and recognizes the date. Yesterday was marking one year after your passing.

You watch them play football on the beach with a big smile on your face. Since Maverick introduced you to the Dog Fight Football, your friends would only play that game when you would go to the beach. You laugh when Mickey is being tackled by Jake and the two men roll on the ground. You take a sip from your drink and readjust your hat on your head. The umbrella over you already providing you shade but your chemo-bald head wasn't something you wanted other people to see. So after a quick discussion with Mickey, he took you hat shopping and you had a lot of fun. He insisted on paying everything and you ended up with almost ten new hats you could match with multiple outfits. No need to specify that you couldn't fly anymore but with a little help from Maverick, you still could come to base and see your friends. Your family. You're brought back to reality when a sweaty, panting Jake drops next to you. You give him a cold beer and he takes a couple of gulps before turning to you. "Want some?" He asks and you give him a pointed look. "Right... You're no fun, I forgot." He turns back to watch the others play and you bite the inside of your cheek, stopping yourself from thanking him for joking about it. He was the one you felt the closest to. You didn't know why or how it happened but it happened. You loved all of them so much but Jake was different, sometimes you could almost feel like you were connected. Just like twins.

"Hey... You're getting red, you need more sunscreen?" He asks as he points to your reddening arms. You nod and he grabs the tube from the beach bag you got and walks around you to stand behind you. He starts rubbing your shoulders with the sunscreen, being careful not to knock your hat off inadvertently. "You know... I'm still up for giving you a last wish..." He says and you turn to look up at him with a smile. He wiggles his eyebrows and you slap his chest before turning back to watch your friends play. Jake leans over to your ear and you can practically hear his smirk. "The others won't know, I promise." He whispers before rubbing your right arm with sunscreen. "Oh my God, stop!" You laugh, making him smile widely. "I'd rather give my last wish to Rooster." You say jokingly just to mess with him. "You wouldn't!" He moves to your left arm and when it's all done, he sits down on his heels before you. "But seriously, if you want anything before you..." He starts saying and stops himself, not fully on term with what was to happen. "You just ask, and I'll do anything to make it happen. And I'm sure the others would do the same." He keeps your hand in his and you look down and your joined hands, containing the tears. You look back up at him and take a deep breath. "I don't want anything more, Jake... I already have all I need." You smile at him and then look over at the others cheering Bob for tackling Mickey. You chuckle and Jake smiles, his stare never leaving your joyful face. That's exactly how he wants to remember you, smiling and laughing.

He stands up and dramatically bows. "My Queen..." He smiles at you and runs back to the others, catching the football Natasha just threw and running away from Bradley who's already on his tail. You smile and grab your phone, taking a picture of them playing. You smile at your phone and go to your camera roll. You open the file you named 'memories' and quickly scroll through all the pictures you took of the squad. You used to take a lot of pictures even before you learned about the tumor but you started photographing and recording everything after the doctor told you your days were numbered. You scroll down until you reach the bottom of the file and click on the first picture. It's a photo Maverick took the day you told them the truth. You could see Jake's red eyes but he was smiling for the picture, for you. You were between him and Natasha and the others were aligned, smiling at the camera. You slide left and you smile even more. This one was taken just seconds after the first one, unless you weren't all aligned correctly and looking at the camera. You were wholeheartedly laughing, head thrown back as your friends all squished you in a group hug. You lock your phone and look up at the game in front of you. You wouldn't dream of anything better than this. You grab your drink and take a sip, never looking away from your friends.

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escapism-from-the-real-world · 3 months

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So, I watched red vs blue on a whim because of a youtube short up to season 12.

Like I binged that shit in a week.

And I just, have so many feelings.

Which means it’s posting time!

I fucking hate that this show makes me care and like and feel for these absolute idiotic assholes who sometimes go through really great character arcs and changes and sometimes back track on their growth so hard their backs crack while also making witty and shitty one liners and running jokes that have me cackling because I was not expecting that joke and for it to come back or, in a genuinely shocking turn of events, make me emotional.

I hate how my favorite character for most of the blood gulch arc was Church because we was sarcastic and bitchy and make me giggle and his relationship with Tucker reminded me if how me and my siblings bicker and fight and then he ends up having one if the most traumatic and complicated backstory ever with a really interesting dynamic with Tex that’s all about grief and saying goodbye and bringing people back but they don’t come back to the same expectations you’ve been holding for them while also dealing with the fact that Church was psychologically and quite possibly physically tortured into different parts of himself for a government program.

I hate how Tucker, the guy who keeps flirting and making unwelcome sexual comments to and about women in a very early 2000s way of giving your characters flaws, has ended up with a very odd but special place in my heart because he grows and changes as a character and develops beyond his flaws and is so painfully human and makes mistakes and is genuinely hilarious at times and cares so fucking much but he can’t show it because toxic masculinity but he fights anyways and is lowkey highkey the best soldier of them all and why do I like his character so much???

And just everyone’s chemistry with each other and the fact that I kept rewinding to rewatch scenes and jokes because they’re amazing or funny and I can’t tell you how ling it took me to get through some of those seasons I kept rewinding so much.

Like, how did they make a bit about them driving a military grade vehicle called the warthog with hispanic (?) music blasting through the radio as they crash into unsuspecting victims so fucking funny? I love this batshit crazy show.

I also hate how it makes me emotional. Sarge’s speech at the end of season 8? I almost cried. I chocked up. How fucking dare you. This is a show about a video game that came out before I was born. With jokes that would make a middle schooler proud and a plot that honestly had me baffled and craving more each season (up to season 12).

And they’re assholes! Like, they care about their shitty little group of friends so much that they are willing to commit various war heroics/crimes in order to save them, but they’re still assholes. But that’s what makes them great! They’re human and they mess up and make mistakes and say the wrong thing and make up and care and boy does it hurt to care.

Just AAAGGHH

This show has me shaking people aggressively by the shoulders and biting hard enough to bleed goddamnit.

#red vs blue #rvb #church rvb #tucker rvb #sarge rvb #grif rvb #simmons rvb #donut rvb #caboose rvb #tex rvb #lopez rvb #washington rvb #I’m going through a phase #it’s called hyperfixation babe #I could feel my braincells disintegrating but I couldn’t stop watching #it was awesome

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snowblack-charcoalwhite · 1 month

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why do you think alicent loves aemond so much? why she doesn't love aegon as much as she loves aemond? alicent appears to have misconceptions about her children. just like dumbledore said to snape about harry. you see what you want to see. the thing is alicent overlooks aegon good traits like cunning (he convinced people living for years at dragonstone to follow him without bloodshed so it means he convinced them. it means aegon is far more diplomatic than aemond even though aemond brags about studying history and philosophy so one can expect aemond to be more polished snd diplomatic but all his knowledge goes out of the window when he's angry) and resourceful while she is too preoccupied with aemond not causing problems compared to aegon that she paints aemond as unproblematic golden child. this and aemond actually never comes back. aegon does. alicent was so wrong about both of her children. had alicent really understood aemond she would have never loved him that much because he represents everything she despises thirst for blood, war and violence. she just likes her men strong, not self-pitying like aegon because he reminds her of herself. had she really understood aegon she would have loved him more because they are very similar doing their duty and fighting till the end. she hated parts of aegon she hated in herself and loved parts of aemond she loved in herself.

this is very funny old joke that the child who rebels the most often ends up as the one more successful than obedient dutiful one.

Hello, thank you for the ask! And I`m awfully sorry for the delay with answering:(

Well, in a way you answered your own question. "she hated parts of aegon she hated in herself and loved parts of aemond she loved in herself" - there is quite a lot of truth to it, I think. However, I do not agree with the premise that Alicent doesn`t love Aegon (or, more precisely, that she loves him less than she does Aemond).

In fact I find it quite difficult to say which one of her sons, in my opinion, Alicent loves more - because she loves them in different ways.

She sees Aemond as a pillar she could lean on (just like she views Criston), as a shield she could grab to protect herself and the rest of her family (not in a sense that she`s ready to sacrifice Aemond but meaning that shes sure he can take it). There IS a part of Alicent that lives in her second son (in one of my posts I called him the voice of her bitterness and rage) but overall they are quite different people. She might not understand Aemond as well as she would like to; she might love him less if she did - but we will never know. As it is, Aemond is her brave and fierce baby boy who went through a horrible traumatic experience (that started with him fighting alone) and still was strong enough to be the one to stand by her side when pretty much everyone else turned against her.

Aegon indeed too strongly reminds Alicent of herself. She feels it - and since she is often too harsh and demanding (sometimes even resentful) towards herself, she projects these feelings onto her child that resembles her the most. She might feel like she is not enough (screw you, Viserys, by the way) - so Aegon does not feel enough as well. There might be some apprehension about the way Aegon deals with his suffering: drinking, whoring, lazing around - trying to drown out the voice of his suffering with other powerful sensations and feelings where Alicent (almost) always chooses to suppress them. But that doesn`t mean she doesn`t love Aegon. In a way thinking about him - about his lot, his duty-bound fate, the neglect he suffers where the support should be given to him - hurts her too much, so she can`t fully process the love she feels for her eldest son, and neither she can express her properly. So here go slapping, shouting and saying the words that she knows will hurt a lot - but she can`t stop herself from saying them.

Her love for Aemond makes her feel stronger. Her love for Aegon makes her bleed. So no wonder Alicent feels more ready to embrace the former. And yet, when she takes a stand between Aegon and Meleys none of it matters.

#asks #alicent hightower #aemond targaryen #aegon ii targaryen

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byrhop · 7 months

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Will Byers character study and what bothers me about his common mischaracterization

I hate when people are talking about Will as if he is this fragile kid whose personality is 100% based on being completely selfless, quiet and figuring out who is.

In my opinion this couldn’t be furthest from the truth.

Will is a good person which will often make him very selfless, but he also isn’t afraid to call out people when he is being treated badly. He is very honest and his honesty can be a little harsh sometimes, but that harshness will never come out of nowhere.

Will might be quiet with people he doesn’t feel comfortable with and that’s a result of a lot of trauma from the way he was treated over the years, but Will Byers is not quiet. When you take a look at A LOT of his scenes he's quite reactive and will always jump into a conversation to make a point if he feels necessary, he'll never stay quiet.

Yes, he is an introvert and he won’t really be the chattiest person with everyone around him and won’t be the first one to talk and lead conversations in a group setting, but that doesn’t make him a fragile quiet kid who won’t speak up. As the seasons go on you can notice him relaxing a bit and showing his personality more comfortably.

And don’t come to me with “ummmm but Lucas said he’s always quiet in s2”. Yes, a kid who’s been through a horrible traumatic experience recently and is currently being possessed and having horrifying visions is going to be this happy, chatty, cheery guy who is going to act himself? Yeah I don’t think so.

Another thing that honestly bothers me is when people say that Will’s main character arc is figuring out who he is. I personally don’t think that’s true at all, maybe just a small part of it.

Will out of all characters is maybe most aware of who he is and what he wants. His arc is more about realizing that he is allowed to have all of that. If you look back at the show we’ve never seen Will being uncertain about his interests or pretending to be someone he is not, he’s always been pretty true to himself and was never really ashamed to show it.

Even when he destroyed castle Byers and called it all “stupid”, that wasn’t him giving up or getting discouraged from continuing being himself. It was just a completely valid hard emotional moment after a reminder that yes he is different, yes half of his childhood has been taken away from him, and yes his best friend, one of the rare people who never questioned him and was always by his side, just hit him where it truly hurt.

Did he give up after that and tried to be “normal”?

Absolutely not, he continued and was even more sure of himself in s4.

Him refusing to adapt to the norm even tho he was aware from the very beginning that he was different is part of his journey. That’s why I wholeheartedly believe that his arc in the show was never even shown as the process of figuring himself out.

Will realizing he is gay happened off screen and s4 literally started with him carrying a project about Alan Turning. Trust me, he is already very well aware of who he is and what he wants. If you catapulted him into 2020s he'd be unashamedly waving that pride flag since he was like 13. He just happens to live in the 80s and believes that who he is and what he wants isnt possible and he is convinced he’ll never have what others do.

Accepting that he deserves happiness and has a bright future in front of him is what his final arc is going to be about. Realizing that he is surrounded with people that love him no matter what and is indeed capable of proving wrong all those people who treated him horribly over the years and is allowed to have his voice heard is what is going to make him fully grow into his own.

Will Byers is a complex, mentally strong character that never gives up and exactly that is his biggest strength.

#thank u if u actually managed to read all of this #i love him so much #he means the world to me #he can also be petty af and that’s why we love him #will byers #stranger things #byler #jonathan byers #mike wheeler #analysis

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ixiot-ghostrebel · 9 months

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Yk Back At The Random Ghost Rebel Stuff

A straight up ramble but does anyone feels this retching feeling in their hearts whenever they think about the High Cloud Quintet and its lore and go like "Dang, if only we COULD change what had happened bc this crap is dark and sad as hell" because that's what I feel like right now

And lemme tell you: It's not a good feeling bc I don't even want to think about how they're all just old and tired grannies and grandpas. The only person that has proper solace in the High Cloud Quintet is flipping Baiheng bro—poor Yingxing got turned into Blade bc yk—he's the beloved of that one relic set story.

Dan Flipping Feng becomes Dan Heng and even as Dan Heng he doesn't get a single drop of solace bc now the former-artisan-now-maniac dude is chasing him all across the universe bc of the sins of the past and it's just so heartbreaking bc Dan Heng isn't Dan Feng and Blade is only the shadow of Yingxing (this concept with Yingxing and Blade heavily reminds me of Makoto and Ei—Ei was the shadow of Makato and the shadow of the light is all that remains ykyk)

And then there's Jingliu who just straight up asks her student to kill her if she ever becomes mara-struck and in the end she still lives somehow and then she decides to go full-traumatizer with Blade back when he was the Unnamed that wandered the place—as if he needed MORE trauma and honestly her weak grasp over the mara which in turn makes her insane is so upsetting bc in the end she ends up having beef with a 14 year-old lieutenant who's trying to do his job and protect the Luofu (though, I have to admit it: as much as I want to protect my child Yanqing, his methods were kind of flawed—) even if he doesn't know who Jingliu is.

And ofc we got the last man standing Jing Yuan who just sees ghosts in everyone around him. Istg I feel like bc he sees ghosts, he can't move on from the past, and when he can't move on from the past, it's honestly a red flag bc it might mean that his present relationships with everyone are (sometimes) only just one-sided or something. Like, take the relationship between Yanqing and he: Yanqing trusts the General with his life bc he raised him as a baby. But the fact that he calls Jing Yuan "General" and not some sort of parental title says that Jing Yuan is being unnecessarily secretive due to his fear of vulnerability. I mean—literally in 1.2 Story Quest, Jing Yuan quite literally just left Yanqing on the island alone after he got beat up by two men that have beef with one another, practically leaving him in the dark with no explanation. And even before that, Yanqing was still left in the dark. Jing Yuan doesn't open up easily bc of the crap he's been through, which is understandable, but his lack of explanation backing up his highly meticulous moves—that's not really healthy. In the end, it just leaves a gap of mistrust, be it intentional or not, between Jing Yuan and Yanqing. In some cases, and this one (imo atleast) is one of them, if you don't explain your actions, it pretty much just leaves the person that's been left in the dark with their waves of emotions, which might cost said-relationship between the two people in the long run.

It also seems like (based off what we know of, at least) at least half of Jing Yuan's choices are also connected to sentimental reasons and seeing ghosts in people. I think he sees a ghost in Yanqing (idk who tho—ppl say it's Yingxing bc of his obsession over the sword), he sees one in Yukong (definitely Baiheng), he sees one in Dan Heng (obvious reasons, very evident throughout the game) and possible Bailu (because she's technically being hailed as the next Imbibitor Lunae after Dan Feng's sin), and it could possibly go on. This old grandpa really is comparing the present with his past and that's honestly a little heartbreaking, bc there is a chance that that might mean that Jing Yuan found more happiness (serotonin work hardcore fr) in his past than he does in his present. He should at least be happy enough of the present to not be this sentimental of the past, but he's really suffering of the incidents like bro—

The High Cloud Quintet is like The Five Yakshas from Genshin Impact but with more lore (that we know of) and more angst twists (that we know of) to it fr. It's so heartbreaking and angsty, I both love it, hate it, and cry about it.

Like bro, look at these two groups. It's always a group of five sobbing.

They're all fine as hell too like CMON

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writerfae · 2 months

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Cries over Rook and Cryptan (whose name my phone is desperately trying to turn into crystal). Their friendship kinda reminds me of Adél and Bendegúz, not because of any parallels, but it's this very strong, deep friendship.

...if I think about it, they remind me of the villain Adél au, where Bendegúz doesn't go with her to look for Ákos (and this becomes his biggest regret), and to put it simply Adél makes a deal with the Black swamp: Ákos remains unharmed, and Adél will carry on the Black swamp's purpose after Odette desrtoys it.

Adél and Bendegúz end up on opposite sides when it's the last thing they want.

It would be interesting how your characters from the present would get along with pre madness Rook (if you discount the fact that Aiden's job is to stop him from coming back). Just personality wise.

Also, I forgot to ask last time: can Callan fight?

Also, also:

Continuing the your traumatized boy takes care of mine Aiden babysitting Ákos saga:

I had this idea (that is actually canon) that i see as half cute half sad, which is this:

No matter how cute and precious Ákos is, despite still being a child he still managed to survive a month in a very hostile environment because 1: he's very smart, 2: he took some advice from each of his older siblings that helped him. He took care of himself... but he didn't like doing it. He stayed strong, sharp, and determined, but in the background, there was this little "I don't know what to do" (among other things, but this is what's relevant rn). And he couldn't do it forever. One time, he just stopped (and i can't say more cause spoilers).

And one of his feelings that I love writing about actually is that after Adél and Bendegúz find him and there's finally someone to take care of him. It's this repeated feeling of "It's okay, it's okay", but it's still a little suprising each time.

Finally getting to the point:

Ákos knows he can take care of himself, but on "bad days" he doesn't like it. Fortunately, he also knows that he has people he can rely on. So on some "bad days" (he has different types of bad days) he just follows people around like a little duckling (or on very bad days just Adél or Bendegúz), and yeah, he sometimes does this anyway, the difference is that on these days he kinda wants people to show him/ tell him what to do. To guide him a little.

And I think this would look so cute actually when Aiden's looking after him.

Like, idk exactly why (maybe because he was also left alone as a child), but I can totally see Aiden being like: child needs me to steer the ship for a bit so I will! with no hesitation.

Rook and Cyprian are everything to me at the moment <3

The villain Adél AU sounds cool! Dare I say it does remind me of Rook a bit. Either way, it's interesting!

Original Rook would get along quite well with everyone. Like insaid, hes really older brother-coded, not just with his issues. He's older than all of them and often busy though, so they probably wouldn't really spend much time together.

Callan can fight, but chooses not to. He's a person that sees fighting as a last option. He got weapon and fight training, though, so he can defend himself if necessary.

Poor Akós, that sounds like his survival instincts took over. But it's understandable, especially for someone so young, to just be taken care of.

Aiden knows how to look after himself, has been since he was a child. For him, it's almost normal, he had to unlearn that first. Had to learn to accept help. But he likes to give help, so as soon as he recognizes Ákos problem, I'm sure he'll try to help

#writer speaks #writeblr #wip: the knights of the alder

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cerise-on-top · 2 months

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Hiiiii how have you been love bug? (Please tell me if your uncomfortable with that term since you are non-binary and they/them I’m not sure what nicknames you are uncomfortable with it’s just what I call my friends and just a nickname I have for people in general🫶🏻🫶🏻 ) so I’d like to to request farah with a adhd reader who is hyper forgetful and sometimes has meltdowns ( as someone with adhd)🧡🧡🧡

Hey! I'm fine! Bought some more yarn for my leftover blanket today, which I'm excited to work on! And don't worry, I think love bug is really cute! I don't mind most nicknames, but thank you for being considerate, I really do appreciate it! Hope you're doing well as well ^^

I don't have ADHD, so I don't know at all what it's like for someone with it! I had to do some research on it, so I don't know if these are actually viable methods of helping, but I tried! Please do correct me with something that might help and I'll add it in this post afterwards! I hope this is enjoyable to you regardless! Thank you for the request!

Farah with a Reader with ADHD

Farah doesn’t particularly know a lot about mental illnesses. She may be traumatized, yes, but that doesn’t mean she ever had the time to research any of them. So she’s definitely not the best person to go to when it comes to things like these, but she tries, even if she can’t always understand everything that’s going on. You’re suffering, and that’s enough for her to know she should do something to help you.

You being this forgetful may be a cause of concern for her, though. It’s not every day she meets someone who forgot what they did five minutes prior. It’s especially concerning when it’s something important, though, like seeing a doctor. Although she may be worried for you potentially developing something as severe as dementia eventually, she’ll try to push her worries aside and help you to the best of her abilities. If you ever need reminders, she can help you. Farah remembers and retains things very well, she’s never had any issues with it since she had to in order to get by. If you need to remember something, she’ll remind you a few times a day. You have an appointment? Don’t forget about it tomorrow, I’ll tell you again then. However, she’s also a big fan of post its and will write down whatever it is you may need and place it somewhere she knows you’re going to see it. I know, out of sight, out of mind, but she’ll also text you and have you make reminders on your phone for important things so you don’t forget. Won’t get mad at you for forgetting your anniversary, she can see that it’s hard for you to remember things and won’t yell at you or anything either. However, she will mention that it was your anniversary, or maybe her birthday. For the most part she just wants to spend those days with you, if she can, and will thus remind you. Again, you don’t need to feel ashamed for forgetting, she’ll tell you that it’s quite alright and that you shouldn’t worry. She’s patient like that.

If you have a meltdown in front of her, she definitely would not know what to do at first. Depending on what kind of meltdown it is, she’ll react differently. If it creeps up on you, slowly making you irritated, then she’ll ask you what’s wrong. Regardless of your answer, she’ll ask you how she can help you, if you would like to be left alone or if you would like to take a small break in any way. She gets it and she’ll get you away from whatever is stressing you out so you can slowly recharge. If you really do want to be left alone for a while, she will comply, but will knock on your door to check up on you every once in a while and will bring you some food as well. Farah just wants you to be well, so she’ll take care of you how she thinks might help. Food is always good, food usually helps her, so she hopes it’ll do the same for you as well.

If it’s a sudden meltdown where you don’t know where left and right are anymore, then she’ll get you away from everyone else at first. While she can’t imagine what it’s like for you, it likely isn’t very pleasant for you to be crying and screaming in front of other people. Hoping that you trust her, she’ll try to ground you, asking you how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling and how she could help you. What happened is also another question she would ask you. Again, she won’t really know what to do on her own, but she tries her best. Farah will talk to you in a soothing tone and try to distract you at first so you can calm down a bit. Whether it be cracking a joke or asking you about your top five favorite reptiles. Even if you can’t answer her properly, she’ll just reassure you that it’s okay, that everything is just bad in this moment and that it’ll pass. She’s with you this entire time and won’t leave you unless you want her to. Asks you to breathe a bit with her. In all your time being together, she’s likely learned a breathing technique or two that might help you.

Once your meltdown is over, she’ll be very gentle with you, especially if she can see you’re beating yourself up over it. You really shouldn’t feel ashamed for something that you can’t help, it’s not your fault. If you feel especially down, she’ll give you a kiss on the forehead and get some ice cream with you. Something like a meltdown seems exhausting to her. While she doesn’t want to seem like she’s rewarding you for having a meltdown, she does want you to be kind to yourself afterwards, that’s what the ice cream is for. And if you don’t want ice cream, then some berries, fruits or a small snack will suffice as well. Either way, she’s there for you the entire time until you feel better.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #I didn't think anyone at all would notice or remember that I'm non binary #I don't really mention that fact as much as other things but it makes me happy that some people do pay attention!#also love bug is a really cute nickname! your friends must be very lucky to have someone like you in their lives!#again I don't have ADHD I only have schizophrenia and there doesn't seem to be too much of an overlap among them #so I really don't know what it's like to live with ADHD but I get the forgetfulness #I have so many reminders on my phone and on small paper notes it's incredible #I also journal every day so I don't forget what I did during the day. that's one of my best habits yet #but yeah I'm also the kind of person who can't remember what they did five minutes ago and it's so very frustrating #sometimes I wanna look something up on google only to forget five seconds later what it was #sometimes retracing my steps helps me remember but not always unfortunately it's very annoying #but we are just so very strong for living with our mental illnesses!!#being mentally ill is exhausting and I can't think of any positives either #I know it may seem hard at times but it's important to be patient with oneself. I learned that the hard way #so please do be kind to yourself anon! you deserve it! you seem like such a nice person!

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cherienymphe · 2 years

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Daddy Issues (Homelander x Reader)

WARNINGS: eventual DUB-CON, grey!reader, traumatized!reader, attempted suicide (?), stalking, masturbation, power imbalance, fanatic behavior

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts | ➥ divider by @silkholland

➥ series masterlist

summary: One year ago, Homelander killed your entire family…and you’ve devoted your life to him ever since.

The ground shook beneath you, signaling the arrival of the blond superhero. A sizeable crowd had congregated to watch the police during the standoff with the robbers inside, but it doubled almost instantly with the arrival of Queen Maeve, Homelander not far behind. The sound of excited cheers was almost loud enough to deafen you, but a ringing noise always graced your ears whenever he was around.

Homelander was the greatest superhero to ever exist, even better than Soldier Boy. You had always thought so, even more so after that night. Sometimes you could still hear the sound of their screams, and it was a comforting reminder that you were now free thanks to him. The man in question waved to the crowd before flying into the third floor of the bank.

Everyone else watched him go in awe, eyes alight with admiration and gratitude. Yours sparkled with nothing less than unadulterated love, remaining even after the police managed to shoo just about everyone away from the scene. You liked to wait, so you always did. You liked to watch that blinding smile dancing across his face after he apprehended another criminal.

It was your routine for as long as you could remember, tracking any criminal activity you could find and waiting nearby in the hopes that Homelander would show up. Sometimes he didn’t, and you would go home deflated. Sometimes he did, and those were the days where you were the happiest. Even just a glimpse of the hero was enough to make your then nightmare you called a life that much better.

Queen Maeve dragged the men outside with their hands behind their back, the cops cheering at their heroic display. Homelander’s grin was wide as he came out behind her, waving to the officers with the other hand on his hip.

“No, no. You guys are the real heroes!”

He said that a lot, but you never quite believed it. After all, Homelander had done more for you in one night than the cops had done in over a decade. Those men with guns and badges were nothing to you. Homelander was the only true hero in your eyes, your hero, and…he was heading towards you.

Your heart skipped a beat when his eyes met yours from across the street, and you stood still as he approached you. His blond hair wasn’t so neat now, a result of whatever took place inside, and you bit your lip. It wasn’t like this would be the first time you were ever so close to him. You had many pieces of paper and pictures and shirts with his autograph on them.

But he still managed to take your breath away every time.

“It’s dangerous to be around here, young lady,” he scolded, pointing a finger at you. “Now, I know those cops ushered everyone away.”

“I’m sorry.”

The words were strange on your lips because you were and you weren’t. You’d never be sorry for doing what you could to even catch a glimpse of him, but at the same time, you genuinely felt bad for causing that frown on his face.

“I had to see you,” you breathed.

Homelander’s features evened out at that, his eerie blue eyes studying you for a bit before a crooked smile danced across his lips. He slowly blinked at you, and your gaze was drawn to his long lashes as he reached out and pulled you closer.

“Well, I suppose I can’t blame a fan for waiting to see me. You want an autograph or a picture?”

You turned to smile at him, basking in the feel of his arm wrapped around you as he held you to his side.

“Um…a picture,” you eventually answered, reaching into your purse.

You handed your phone to him with a smile, and you were so distracted by him that you missed the first one.

“Okay, lets do another one where we’re both looking into the camera this time,” he urged, and you gave an embarrassed chuckle.

“Right,” you agreed, licking your lips and turning to face the camera.

You leaned in closer as he took the picture, and when he handed your phone back to you, he paused. You slowly took it from him as he stared at you with a peculiar look, brows furrowing just a tad.

“Have I seen you before?”

He had.

There was no telling how many pictures you’d snapped with the blond hero. No telling how many meet-and-greets you’d been to, and even though it dampened you like it always did that he didn’t recognize you, you understood that he saved and met so many people a day. It was unrealistic to expect him to remember you.

“I’ve met you a few times,” you downplayed it.

“Really…”

You couldn’t tell if he was impressed or disturbed, but before you could say another word, the redheaded superhero was calling his name. You looked down at the sound of her voice, sometimes wondering if they were still together despite what they’d told the public.

“Well, I’ve got to go now,” he told you, a hand on your shoulder. “Criminals to apprehend, people to save, but you stay out of trouble, missy.”

He tapped your chin, and your lips parted just as he took off. You stared after him for a few more moments before your gaze lowered to meet that of Queen Maeve’s. She stared at you with a curious frown, only for a few seconds, before she finally left too.

You printed out the picture, staring at it for a few more moments, the sound of the second one printing background noise to you. You brushed your fingers over it with a soft smile, taking in how close you were and the smile on his face as you stared at him. The light hit his eyes and hair just right, and the admiration on your face was clear as day.

You almost looked like a couple.

The idea that he would ever see you in that way was laughable. You were nothing compared to him, and truthfully, you were grateful he acknowledged your existence, at all. You looked up at the dozens of photos on your wall and wondered to yourself if a day would ever come where he’d recognize you at first glance.

You told yourself that you were satisfied to get the little pieces of him that you could, but with every passing day, that sentiment diminished more and more. How many times had you touched him now? Inhaled the smell of him as he pulled you in for a picture? Gazed at him as he signed his name on whatever you held?

Homelander was a god amongst men, and even though you had no right to want him, you did. How could you not? He had saved your life in such a monumental way he could probably never even imagine. You honestly didn’t know where you’d be if it wasn’t for him, and the desire to make him see you had been growing as of late.

There were times where you considered hunting down criminals for him, to show him how dedicated you were to him. But the thought of Homelander needing help from a regular human like you made you snort. Would he laugh? Maybe he would even be angry that you took the law into your own hands. The thought of him angry at you was too much to bear, and you stood.

Your whole life revolved around him, now because you really wouldn’t have much of a life to live if it hadn’t been for him. Memories of harmful hands and disgusting breath were replaced with the sound of comforting screams. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw the fire and heard the cries, and you were happy once more.

Then his face would appear.

He was the face of all your happiness, and his smile made you smile, heart racing and face warming. He consumed you, and you found comfort in it. He was your savior, and you didn’t want to find solace in anything else. Night after night, you’d find yourself drifting into sleep with the thoughts of the blond man, and tonight was no different.

You laid in bed, eyes staring into the darkness above you as your fingers danced along your neck. You imagined that they were his, and like every night, you wondered what they would feel like against your skin. Would they be calloused? Rough like his nature whenever he was stopping criminals? Or would they be soft? Protected by the gloves he always wore?

Your lashes fluttered when you brushed your hand over your chest, eyes falling closed as you thought about his hand there instead. They pebbled underneath your touch, hardening from both your ministrations and the cold, and you sighed.

You could almost recall the scent of him, deeply inhaling and parting your lips as you imagined he was here with you, right now. The warmth that would surround you as he hovered over you, lips brushing over yours once then twice before finally covering them completely. You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning as your hand trailed down your stomach, dipping into your sleep shorts.

You knew of plenty of people who’d had relations with a Supe. You’d heard of plenty of stories where it went horribly wrong, and you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if Homelander ever lost control with you. Would he hold your neck so tight that it’d snap in half? Or would he accidentally laser you? Maybe he’d fuck you so hard that it would break your spine…

Those horrific thoughts shouldn’t have excited you as much as they did, your fingers dipping into you to curl inside of you. But it wasn’t the violence. It was the thought of a formidable being such as him, someone akin to a god, having that much power in his possession while in such a vulnerable position with you.

You were sure that he could snap your neck, and you wouldn’t even care.

You thought about his sharp teeth grazing your skin before sinking into it without abandon. Your back arched as you imagined the feel, adding another finger. A soft moan escaped your lips, and you squeezed your eyes shut. His blond hair would be a mess, going every which way like it did sometimes after a chase. You wondered if he’d let you run your fingers through it, just to see if it was as soft as it looked.

You squirmed on your bed, your free hand running over your chest and neck.

You imagined what he could do to you, but more importantly, you imagined how he would look if he ever let you touch him. You desperately wanted to know what he’d look and sound like. Was he the opposite of what he presented to the public? It was hard to imagine him being soft spoken and quiet in bed, almost begging in nature. His booming voice was so familiar that you couldn’t imagine anything other than deep growls and animalistic moans.

You wanted to see the look in his eyes when he came, when he was the closest he’d ever be to a regular human being. A simple animal satiating it’s most basic of needs, and your toes curled at the thought. You wanted to know what that was like, desperately needed it. It wasn’t enough. As you pushed yourself over the edge, body trembling as a rush fell over you and paralyzed you, you admitted to yourself that it was no longer enough.

The wind whipped around your face as you looked around. Truthfully, you didn’t think you were that high up as far as skyscrapers and tall buildings went, but somehow it already felt pretty hard to breathe. Or perhaps that was just all you. You stepped towards the edge and looked down at the crowd below. They had quickly gathered once someone noticed you were up here.

While Homelander did an annual birthday save, it wasn’t like he saved jumpers only once a year. It was extreme, but you figured extreme methods were needed to draw in an extreme man. You took a step back from the edge, reminding yourself how easy it was to just…die in this moment. Then this would all be for nothing.

In truth, this wasn’t what you’d had planned for the day, at all.

Your thoughts from last night had bled over into the morning, and you’d woken up thinking to yourself how signed autographs and stupid pictures just wasn’t enough anymore. You needed more, and you needed him to see you as more than just some fan because you weren’t just some fan. You were more than that.

You owed Homelander your life, and there wasn’t anything that you wouldn’t do for him.

You stared off into the sky, not wanting to miss his approach. You couldn’t really here the people down below, but there was no doubt in your mind that they were freaking out over your presence on top of the building. You were just about to step closer to the edge and look down when a gust of wind ruffled your clothes.

You lifted your gaze, a small smile spreading across your face.

“You don’t want to do this.”

You turned around, and when his eyes met yours, you could sense a sliver of recognition there. Homelander reared back just a tad, his outstretched hand faltering some as you stared at him. He softly scoffed, blinking a few times, and you licked your lips.

“Hi,” you breathed.

“Well, hello. I’m not usually surprised…”

Your smile grew at that.

“Well, that’s nice to know.”

He waved his hand towards himself, tilting his head.

“Just step away from the ledge, and I’ll take you back down, and you can go back to your friends and family safe and-.”

“I don’t have any friends,” you said with a shake of your head. “No family either.”

“So that’s it then? Because I can introduce you to some people,” was his response.

“I don’t want to jump,” you confessed with a laugh. “Not…not really, anyway.”

You could see that Homelander was confused, and he straightened, looking at you with parted lips as he fought to figure you out. You sighed, tilting your head to the side.

“I had to see you.”

You would’ve laughed at the way he blinked, staring at you like you were crazy.

“I had to talk to you…again,” you admitted.

You watched him place his hands on his hips, staring you down like a problem child. His nostrils flared, and you sank your teeth into you lip.

“You came all the way up here to- to what? Summon me?”

He reached out for you with a shake of his head, stepping towards you, and you took one step back. He stopped at that, and you stared at one another. Him, serious and even angry almost while you had a yearning smile. He slowly lowered his hand back onto his hip, blue eyes narrowing at you.

“Why?” he demanded.

“…because I love you.”

His eyes fell closed at that, and he released a sigh before a humorless chuckle followed. He shook his head like this was all one big joke.

“Great. Another fanatic,” he mumbled before fixing you with a serious stare. “Look, sweetheart-.”

“You don’t know what you’ve done for me-.”

“You don’t know me-.”

“But I want to!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” he chided, nearing you, and you took another step back.

There was a warning in his eyes at that, and it should’ve had you obeying him, but it only made you want to back up more.

“If I fell, right now…and you didn’t save me…they would all hate you…”

You both knew who you were referring to, and Homelander pressed his lips together.

“They’re so fickle,” you tearfully laughed. “They love you now as long as you make them happy, but they would turn on you in a second.”

Your eyes met his at that, and you didn’t miss the thoughtful look on his face as he stared at you. You swallowed.

“I wouldn’t,” you whispered.

You smiled.

“I watched you kill an entire family…and I would do anything you asked of me.”

Homelander had straightened to his full height, looking down his nose at you with parted lips. It was surreal. You had always dreamed of this moment, and now that you were living it, it didn’t feel real.

“None of them, not a single one, loves you like I do,” you whispered. “…and even if you don’t save me, I would still die happy knowing that I told you that.”

His blue eyes glinted at your words, and you stepped off of the ledge before either of you knew it, falling back into the open air. There was a brief moment, a few seconds where you heard the faint screams from below, and you thought to yourself that this was it. The air whipped around you, and you closed your eyes, not a fearful bone in your body.

But your descent was interrupted by strong arms wrapping around you.

The wind was knocked from you, and you bounced a bit as he caught you. You peeled your eyes open to gaze up into familiar blue ones, the strangest of frowns on his face as he looked down at you. Homelander’s descent to the ground was slow, and you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching up and threading your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. You didn’t miss the shiver that traveled through him, and your smile was loopy.

Your other hand landed on his arm, fingers grazing the clothed appendage. You didn’t take your eyes off of him for one moment, and neither he you but for entirely different reasons. You couldn’t read what was going on behind his eyes, and you desperately wanted to, but he landed on the ground before you could.

The crowd that surrounded you was loud, a few reporter shoving mics and cameras in your faces. You didn’t hear a word that was said as he sat you back down, the warmth of him leaving as he let you go. You only looked away when a question caught your ears.

“Miss, miss! Homelander just saved your life! You must be feeling pretty grateful, right now…”

You stared at the woman for a few seconds before slowly turning to the superhero at your side. He was still staring at you with that strange look, like he didn’t quite believe you were real, and with a grand smile, you reached for him and pressed your lips to his cheek.

The crowd loved it, and your smile softened as his expression grew unreadable.

“He’s my hero.”

tags: @xoxabs88xox @readermia @buckybarnesplumwhore @nickyl316h @captainchrisstan @sebabestianstan101 @villanellevi @notyourtypicalrose @coconutqueen21 @hurricanerin @trinittyy @hyoyeoniie @mandiiblanche @doozywoozy @melli0112 @zombiexbody @holl2712 @mansaaay @lipstickstainedred @avengers-goddess @ameliaalvarez06 @kaelibaby @totallynotkaibiased @hanniebee33 @jemimah-b99 @gillybear17 @mannstarkey @lovserrr @aglassoforangejuiceee @emberenchanted @layazul @toystory2wasjustokay @my-baexht-ls @prettymuchboo @asonofpeter @spidey-d00d @cockslutpadalecki @dirtytissuebox @evemarieyl @katherinemaximoff @ventinglation @tastycakee @stopnala @annellie @littleone2223 @itskeishaaaaa @blueicequeen19 @drewsgfduh @ashpeace888 @bibliophilewednesday @lonnie2390147 @1-800-di0r @amanduhh1998 @coldspoons @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @twwcs @breakfastonpluto19 @lovedetlost @pearlsofme @rottenstyx @famousdestinygarden @officialfangirls-blog @untoldgrace @maybanks-luver

@maskmare931

#homelander x reader #Dark Fic #the boys

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vampsquerade · 1 year

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Ghost helping a male reader through a panic attack please🙏🙏🙏🙏

i will certainly try my best anon, thank you for requesting!! sorry it took me so long to get to this, i’ve had a lot of unnecessary and downright bullshit delays that caused me to hold back on writing as much as i do. also i hope you don’t mind but i did kind of tweak it a little and decided to use my own personal symptoms of PTSD (even tho the one i’ve been diagnosed with is a bit different)

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Ghost x Male!Reader: A Ghost’s Aid

Trigger Warnings: angst with a happy ending, PTSD, panic attacks, hyperventilation, uneasy feelings, traumatic memories

Life in and of itself is forever cruel. Countless years in which this cruelty has been seen and those most affected by it suffer its effects forever. Experiencing them yourself as your task force worked alongside the 141 and Los Vaqueros and previously with Shadow Company against Al-Qatala, you had developed a difficult reaction for certain situations that caused you to react too quickly. You would find yourself eventually with a diagnosis of PTSD after Graves’ betrayal as well as being separated from Johnny and Simon. Hours of the 24 hour cycle constantly passed within the 365 days of the year and you spent most of them awake out of fear of reliving that night in your dreams. Rainy days especially made it worse, often forcing you to stay inside until the storm was over and done with as you dealt with an episode on your own.

However, this time you would find yourself to be dealing with one in the presence of somebody else: Simon “Ghost” Riley. Though he wasn’t exactly the emotional type, you knew he still cared about everyone around him. You had just been hiding in a corner, hands clutching your head as you laid there panicking. “Y/N? What’s going on?” Simon asks, coming out of the room you were letting him stay in and into the living room where you were hiding. “F-Fuck…Simon please help me…” you whimper softly, hyperventilating terribly as you’re finally getting over that clearing. Grasping the situation a bit properly now, Simon then comes next to you and carefully sits you up and checks you all over for any wounds. He sees the bullet wounds you had gotten all that time ago, and gently grazes them with his fingers.

“It’s a hell of a thing, isn’t it?” Simon mumbles softly. He had begun to carefully and gently rub your back in a way to help you calm down. You simply nod, unable to form words as you continue to hyperventilate while attempting relaxation. It would take you an entire hour to finally calm your entire body down and regulate your breathing. “I’m sorry you had to see that…I wasn’t expecting rain…” you whisper. “It’s no worry, don’t apologize for anything related to your disorder. Anything you need right now?” Simon asks. “Wanna share a cuppa?” you ask. He gives you a nod accompanied with a slow blink before standing up. Simon obviously gives you a helping hand as well, helping you walk a little until you feel like you can on your own.

“Thank you…” you mumble, going and washing your hands before grabbing teacups and your teapot to transfer the boiling water into once it’s done. “So what’s in the cabinet then?” Simon asks as he takes a seat at your table. “I only have Earl Grey.” you say, opening the cabinet and grabbing the small box of authentic Earl Grey tea leaves. “I reckon I’m quite alright with that.” Simon says. Smiling a little, you nod and lean against your counter as you wait for the water to boil. “How often does any of that happen? The thrashing and hallucinations.” Simon asks out of genuine concern. “It happens when it’s raining the most and in my sleep, but that’s only sometimes…” you say, crossing your arms against your chest and sighing. “I see. You’ve got a prescription?” Simon asked again.

You pipe up a little, “Reminds me, I’ve gotta take a pill.” you say. “Have you eaten though? I know some medications require you to eat before you take them.” Simon says. “Yeah. I had already eaten beforehand though so I’ll be fine.” you say, walking back over to your cabinet and taking out your pills. You take one and sip some water from a water bottle you had around before going back to where you had been previously standing. The atmosphere of the kitchen grew a little tense, causing you to become unnerved and intimidated by Simon’s presence and intense gaze. “You’ve been suffering alone, haven’t you?” Simon suddenly asks, cutting the thick atmosphere.

Unable to look him in the eye, you just stand there and keep your gaze away from his own. “Look, I’m not the best with words and never have been—you can ask us for help.” Simon says. Though his voice doesn’t sound too reassuring, you know it is. Hell, the man guided both you and Johnny towards him once Graves betrayed you. It’s okay to trust Simon. “What if my panic attack gets really bad? That stuff was just mild—it’s so much worse.” you say. “Then let me help. It’s not like I haven’t saved your ass countless times; what’s so different about this?” Simon asks. “I don’t want to burden you.” you say, finally meeting Simon’s eyes. “Don’t give me that. I know you’d do the same for me.” he says. You stay silent for a moment, contemplating what he just said.

“You’re right…it’s just…I feel like I don’t deserve it. I knew the shit I was getting into and for fuck’s sake I thought I was going to die that night.” you say. “I helped save your ass then as well. Let me do it when we aren’t in the field. No protests, that’s an order.” Simon says sternly. “But-“ you pipe up only to be interrupted by the hardened man, “But nothing, I’m going to help you. Am I understood?” he says. You remain quiet, sighing softly as the tea kettle begins to whistle as it has reached completion of boiling the water. “I asked you a question and I expect an answer, Corporal L/N.” Simon says. “You’re understood…” you say as you take the kettle off the heat. “Atta boy.” Simon says.

The man then stands up and carefully takes the kettle from you, pouring the water into your teapot with the leaves to allow for it to steep. “What makes you want to help me?” you ask genuinely. “Don’t quite like seeing a teammate continue to potentially hurt themselves like this. I know it’s not your fault and you can’t help it, but you can always ask. No harm.” Simon says. “I see. Well cheers, Simon—I can’t really express how grateful I am that you want to help.” you say, lightly punching his shoulder. “It’s really nothing to thank me for. I’m just being a decent person—for once.” Simon says, rolling his eyes a bit and scoffing. You can’t help but smile, giving him a nod. It felt nice to have someone to rely on, even a scary dog like Simon.

#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw22 #call of duty modern warfare 2022 #cod ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #angst #angst with a happy ending #angst fic #male reader #cod task force 141 #task force 141

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authenticleviackerman · 3 months

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What i think about Levi (having to) be miserable about the rumbling

this topic has been mentioned by user: @leviismybby

Some people think that after all the trauma of the rumbling happening, levi HAS to be miserable. After all, he's seen thousands of innocent people die and others died out of his sight, which must have scarred him to a degree for sure.

I think that after the rumbling, Levi would be traumatized. The rumbling is of course an allegory to a world war, and the fact is, no soldier has been quite the same after a war, and no person has been the same after various type of trauma. Looking up the definition of the word, you'll stumble upon this:

So in other words, each of us could be affected by trauma at any point in time. The difference between regular fear or sadness is that trauma affects you DEEPLY. It is something that could lurk inside of your head for years, sometimes even your entire life. Next, we'll look up at how trauma can affect a person.

Of course let's remind ourselves that what we're talking about is only fiction, but Isayama actually did a really good job at writing Levi. Looking at the symtoms, Levi has undirectly displayed quite a few of these symptoms, even if they were subtle.

RECURRENT, UNWANTED MEMORIES OF THE EVENT:

This symptom is not that present with Levi, as he often keeps a stoic, often numb outlook on things while Eren expresses distress over these. However, given the age gao between Eren, Reiner, Mikasa, or everyone else and Levi is that he has more experience with them. He is never questioning their sanity or doubting them in any way, but calming them down, since he probably has had his own fair share of experience.

FLASHBACKS

Again, this isn't something that occurs to Levi often, or *they aren't obviously shown* to be precise. But you see, he most likely does experience some form of them from his childhood back in the underground, by feeling the need to clean things up even when it wouldn't bother other people. He probably gets reminded of the little room he lived in with his mom and how he felt insecure about it since coming to the surface, as we've seen in the No Regrets OVA.

Thus, i doubt that rumbling hasn't left a mark on him.

UPSETTING DREAMS OR NIGHTMARES ABOUT THE EVENT

We all know that Levi suffers from insomnia. And honestly, all things considered, it makes sense.

SEVERE EMOTIONAL DISTRESS OR PHYSICAL REACTIONS TO SOMETHING THAT REMINDS YOU OF THE TRAUMATIC EVENT

This was all i could think about at the scene where he brutally kept slashing Zeke's limbs in order to prevent him from regenerating back. Some people could argue that it was simply to prevent Zeke from turning back into a titan, but i would argue that we've seen a much more efficient method back when Eren infiltrated Marley (specifically tying up his leg in a bandage, which has been proven as a functioning disguise)

So, Levi's judgement has been rash and unplanned, out of control even, since he not only endangered the life of someone he had to restrain but KEEP ALIVE, but his own, as well.

TRYING TO AVOID THINKING OR TALKING ABOUT THE SPECIFIC EVENT

This is also subtly alluded in the show, as he never told anyone about the past with his mother.

AVOIDING PLACES, ACTIVITIES OR PEOPLE THAT REMIND YOU OF THE TRAUMATIC EVENT

Now this is an interesting part, because Levi doesnt avoid much from his past, except the underground. But, who he has a complicated relationship with, is Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. He acts cold with them at times, harshly at others, but ultimately, he's trying to subconsciously fix his past mistakes.

The physical resemblance to his past friends is probably no more than a coincidence, but they do share aspects of Isabel's and Furlan's personalities that Levi sees in Eren and Armin, such as Isabel's undying curiosity about the outside world, and Furlan's analytical strategist mind, similar to Armin's. Now, you would think that the one Levi sees himself in the most is Mikasa given their ties to the Ackerman clan, but the thing is, Levi didn't know he was an Ackerman unril Kenny told him, meaning he saw her strength and want to do everything alone as simply something they shared. Eren however is also similar to younger Levi in terms of being hot headed, just like he used to be. As we all know, Furlan and Isabel died because he gave in and let them go on a mission he knew they could not survive, so now he had to watch Erem, Mikasa and Armin grow up, subconsciously being reminded of them, because their deaths caused him a lot of emotional distress.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT YOURSELF, OTHER PEOPLE, OR THE WORLD:

In this part i'd like to leave some screenshots, which i believe speak for themselves.

and also this one

This might not seem like much, but his thinking and personality HAVE BEEN AFFECTED, no matter how stoic his face might be.

HOPELESNESS ABOUT THE FUTURE

Now, this is a 2 sided topic. When watching attack on titan, i noticed Levi's and Mikasa's loyalty, which however feels almost *passive*. You never see Mikasa or Levi having dreams like Armin who wants to see the sea, Erwn who wants to be free, Annie who wished to live a peaceful life, or Jean who wanted to date Mikasa.

Mikasa nor Levi have never expressed having a single wish which would not involve a person important to them. However, even Mikasa had something Levi didn't, and that is, hope for the future. Mikasa wanted to live a life with Eren. When it comes to Levi, he never really expressed any wish or hope because truth be told, after losing Erwin and Hange, he didn'thave any. His only goal was to complete his mission and prove that his comrades didn't die in vain.

I know what you might be thinking, but he opened his own teashop because he loved tea! Yes he did indeed do that, but again, he wasn't alone. He took in Gabi and Falco, so he had a reason to keep going. Now, some of you may say that that's not how a broken person would think, but oftentimes, we TRY to find a reason to survive. We TRY to keep going. We WISH TO WANT TO KEEP GOING. That said, Gabi and Falco are an important part of his life, they definitely help him stay grounded after the war. After all, he has been thrown from one kind of chaos to another where you have to adjust to a vastly different life in a short amount of time, but they undoubtedly do help him get by, maybe even find joy of the little things in life that he had no time to appreciate earlier.

MEMORY PROBLEMS, INCLUDING NOT BEING ABLE TO RECALL CERTAIN PARTS OF THE EVENT.

this is an aspect i can't really explore so far, as we know almost nothing about Levi's life post war. Maybe the new manga coming out will give us more insight.

DIFFICULTY MAINTAINING CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS

This one is pretty obvious. Levi did say women were quite interested in him, but he didn't seem to think of any of them in a romantic way. In fact he was mostly reserved even towards his own squad, only chatting with Hange who considers Levi a very good friend, and Erwin, whom he is loyal to as Mikasa is to Eren.

FEEKING DETACHED FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS

This has been described in the previous paragraph at least for the most part, but i think it should be important to mention that he didn't really show an interest in Hange suggesting they should live together in a hut somewhere (that doesn't mean that he disliked or liked the particukar idea, i just wanted to show an example)

LACK OF INTEREST IN ACTIVITIES YOU ONCE ENJOYED

We know that Levi doesn't really seem to show fondness towards any hobby other than cleaning (which is mostly a trauma response) other than drinking tea perhaps, but i don't think there's anything else i could mention other than the fact that we've never seen him relax. Even while they were at the sea, he just awkwardly stood there. I am the kind of person which is mostly quiet among people reading my book, though it doesn't necessarily mean i feel bad in any way, so again, we might gain some more insight in the new manga chapter.

DiFFICULTY EXPERIENCING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Again, he didn't seem to be happy about any of their accomplishments as soldiers.

FEELING EMOTIONALLY NUMB

Now, contrary to the popular belief that Levi is "stoic" (which is mostly his face going numb at best, you see where i'm going?)

Levi feels intense emotions. Problem is, it happens rarely. It happened when he saw Isabel and Furlan's deaths (the moment when he went emotionally numb) and when he saw Kenny for the first time in years for example (or turning Zeke into a kebab).

In short, please don't confuse stoicism with Levi's unhealthy way of not expressing emotions. Stoicism isn't about that. He just feels constantly on edge.

(And to be honest i don't think Kenny was the type of a parental figure to encourage Levi to express how he feels)

BEING EASILY STARTLED OR FRIGHTENED

This is something that wasn't expressed, so i won't talk about that.

ALWAYS BEING ON GUARD FOR DANGER

again same as the previous point however i think this is very likely as Levi was able to tell an attack was going to happen a second before it actually happened.

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR

This is something Levi does. He always wants to work and fight, even if he's in pieces. He doesn't care how much he gets hurt. He just wants to save his comrades and complete his mission, blocking out everything else, including his own well being, which can be self destructive behavior. After all, just remember the screenshot i put above.

TROUBLE SLEEPING

an obvious one, definitely continues after the war too.

TROUBLE CONCENTRATING

Levi needs someone to guide him. Otherwise, his own thinking rarely ever ends well

IRRITABILITY, ANGRY OUTBURSTS OR AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR

I'm just going to provide a manga exerpt here. No matter what the circumstances were, it was aggressive and they changed it in the anime too.

OVERWHELMING GUILT OR SHAME

There have been instances where Levi felt guilty and sad. For example when he could do nothing but watch Hange die, all of his other comrades, when he burdened his squad by allowing himself to be severely injured.

Even before, back in the no regrets special he felt ashamed for the soldier calling his room dirty.

Overall, I'd say that Levi was definitely affected by his experience a lot, but Gabi and Falco give him a reason to keep going, as even the biggest problem won't feel as impossible when you're not alone.

If you ever feel anxious, depressed, alone or just need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. My DM's are always open <3

In the end, i'd like to say that Attack on Titan is a work of fiction and is not reflective of real life, on the other hand, i believe that talking about things like this can help people learn. By writing this post i don't mean to hate on Levi's character at all, i just simply wanted to express my POV. He's a character which is very close to my heart as we're similar in a lot of ways, and he actually helped me deal with many of my issues. I AM ALSO NOT A PROFESSIONAL, JUST A NERDY STUDENT WITH SPECIAL INTERESTS.

Thank you very much for reading. ^-^

Authentic Levi Ackerman

#attack on titan #anime #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #anime and manga #snk #aot #fictional characters #character analysis #eren yeager #eren aot #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #attack on titan fanart #my writing #original writing #special interest

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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What do you think about ST writers staying silent when it comes to homophobia in fandom? I've seen some people talking about this and I have to agree that it is getting toxic, and the creators can say something about it. This issue is not about shipping, it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in this fandom.

I get this, I really do, but there is a reason they don't bring a bunch of attention to the negative and it's the same reason most of the cast tries to not bring attention to the negatives going on that they experience.

This reminds me of when Noah came out for example. A lot of fans were congratulating him with support and stuff. But that didn't last long bc suddenly everyone in the tag was fixating on the negatives they were seeing, reposting homophobic comments he was getting and just freaking out on a loop over harmful shit going on. Some fans even made like plot twist edits of hateful comments he had under his coming out video and Noah himself commented on one of them, like alluding to the fact that he tries to not let it get to him.

When you're in these peoples positions, you're hearing about god awful stuff happening constantly. And that makes sense, when you have an audience of hundreds of millions of people, shit goes down. ALL the time.

And so it gets to a point where, eventually you have to give up basically. I'm sure there was a time early on like in s1, when they might have felt the need to put the fans in check over certain harmful things. But it probably got so big they couldn't do that any more, simply for mental health reasons I wouldn't ask that of anyone.

Think about Finn who has been through some shitty fandom behavior over the years with fans obsessing over him and like essentially photoshopping a fake story about his gf SAing someone. Did he come forward and talk about that? No bc fans like that don't even deserve the attention. And while yes, it's clear that he feels like grateful about this experience, it's also clear he has an intense sense of bitterness over the fact that having millions of fans means that there are bound to be quite a few who don't understand boundaries. And yet it's gotten to a point where acknowledging them only makes them stronger.

And then there's Caleb, who experienced fucking racism as a child simply for his character getting in the way of milkvan... And he only recently over the last year or so has felt comfortable enough to start talking about it more. And it's probably because he was in large part not wanting to re-hash over stuff that is obviously traumatizing and just not fucking fair for him to have to discuss in the first place. He deserves for this to be an incredible experience. He shouldn't have to give any of his time and attention to people that don't fucking deserve it in the first place. He deserves better than that.

And then there's Millie who has also been through a lot, to the point where it's like near impossible to even pinpoint everything because it's just so much. And she has the biggest following on social media so that makes a lot of sense. Her fandom experience is a large part of why she doesn't really use social media anymore. She used to love interacting with fans, but now it's just not something she can handle. Not only does she have to deal with people that hate her for no apparent reason, she also has to deal with so called fans psychoanalyzing anything and everything she does, to the point where they're convinced they know everything about her and her boyfriend and her family, as if they know what's best for her? Like imagine not having a space anywhere despite having millions of people say they love you, when they just turn around and treat you like a product to be consumed and discarded? It's exhausting.

All of them have a story like that, that just makes you realize that this is so much bigger than ship wars and any nonsense fans obsess over. Sometimes we forget these are real people and they have to see this and it obviously effects them mentally over time to the point where they just can't acknowledge it anymore in order to simply live their lives peacefully.

Now, I'm not saying the Duffers will never address the homophobia, bc they no doubt will. However, I think that in large part the point is to let these homophobes especially feel like they are superior and have the upper-hand, only to rip it out from under them basically.

And that's because we're also talking about a show that is hiding the truth in plain sight. This show is in fact for the so called freaks and geeks (and the gays). And so when that truth is finally revealed, THAT'S when they're going to call the bigots out on their bullshit. Because this show was never for them in the first place! And making them tune in for all of it, convinced it was for them all this time, only to find out it wasn't, I'm sorry but it's fucking badass.

If they're hiding that core message in plain sight, and yet most of the audience STILL doesn't see it, and it's also a big reason why they refuse to even consider byler, then yes it makes sense to hold off this scolding for when the reveal happens, only to throw all of that backlash on the people STILL being homophobic when it's all said and done, despite them saying it was all indeed intentional.

Right now there are genuine homophobes out here, and then there's people that are merely misunderstanding the extent of what's truly happening bc of heteronormativity, which is arguably the way the show was intended to be watched, assuming you're only watching it once through and you don't consume any more content regarding it much outside of that initial viewing (most of the ga). And then there's the fans who are literally queer and love queer stories, but aren't allowing themselves to believe it this time bc of how prevalent queer-baiting is.

By no means am I saying homophobia is okay. Obviously it's not. But people are homophobic, people are bigots. You can decide for yourself which situations you want to call it out and when you want to let it just be because otherwise you're gonna be fighting forever with people that do not fucking care, and that's not helping anyone, least of all queer people who would rather probably just ignore all of the noice and be happy being their authentic self, despite all of the hate that's out there.

We'll have to see how fans react to s5. I have hope that it will go well.. I do think that there could be a time period where people are like in denial and grieving or whatever. But we know the evidence is there. We know that the Duffers are going to be happy to admit that it was intentional to disprove the claims that try to say byler came out of nowhere.

Absolute worst case scenario, I think the critical reception will be something along the lines of this:

#byler #byler tumblr #this is a really good ask #and i wish i could say that it was as simple as them just making a statement to say homophobia is bad and we don't condone it #but... the whole point is that the show is already telling us that #and if you can't see that #then you're gonna have to tune in until the end and watch these dudes kiss and be proven wrong #like that's the epicness of it all

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aidaronan · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @wynnyfryd and @stevethehairington. Thank!!! 1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 131 (Jesus Christ)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,069,649

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I write primarily Stranger Things with the occasion OFMD but I have written for Marvel (Stucky, Sambucky, Danbeau, gen), The Old Guard, and The Walking Dead. I tend to hyperfixate on a ship/fandom for a few years and then mostly move on when for whatever reason I no longer have interest.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Steddie completely overtook all my top fics, which is pretty wild. The top five are: The Prettiest Boy in Hawkins, Indiana Anywhere, Anytime Critical Hit It's Not a Big Deal I'd Burn the Castle for You

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes. I very much like to interact with fandom and fandom people. That's kind of the whole point. But I'm ultimately a person with a lot going on and treating comments like they're transactional (aka always owed a response) makes responding to comments feel like a job which is exhausting for me personally.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I mean, as much as I generally like a hopeful ending, there's a fair few. I mean, I was in The Walking Dead fandom where anyone can die so... lol But a recentish one I can remember is one I don't talk about much or promote really bc I don't like to think about it all that often. It's just Steve sneaking back into the Upside Down to bury Eddie. Nothing else, just closure. I wrote it when I was processing some feelings about losing my grandma's cat in a pretty traumatic way. I bottle fed him as a baby and always considered him kind of my cat too. Because of how and when it all happened, I had to take charge and bury him all alone, so I sort of used Steve to get some of it out.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Lol I tend to do Happy Endings so... God, hard to pick. I like the way I'd Burn the Castle for You ends because it's happy but it feels really grounded at the same time which I think makes it happier because it feels like they could actually have it. But when I think of the happiest, I might have to go back to Stucky and We didn't need this to love each other, but I'm glad we get to do it anyway which is a fic where Steve and Bucky never went to war, find a way to live a whole life together despite how hard it was to do so, and then get married when it's finally legal in NY. (Yes, I will keep using the characters getting married when it's finally legal trope because 1. I'm actually a sap, and 2. It's a good reminder that it's recent and hard-won.)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes, not in a while

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Well. Hahahhahaha It can be anything from tender lovemaking to hardcore to hardcore with monsters and any mix or combo of those.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Crossovers in the sense of characters from different fandoms interacting? Not in a very long time, I don't think?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Stolen where they attempt to pass it off as theirs, I don't think so. I have, however, had quite a few rude little fuckers repost it on Wattpad lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A few of my Stucky fics were translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No because I'm terrible at asking for people to work on stuff with me lol I am trying to get better at not thinking I'm annoying everyone all the time and actually talk about collabs and things. @sparklyslug and I are maybe going to do something if we can stop signing up for bangs lmao

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I can't answer this because the answer is always going to change based on whatever I'm into at the time lol

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I can't point to any specific one because I genuinely don't know which ones I will and won't finish. BUT I do know there's never any conceivable way I'll finish all of my WIPs because just for Stranger Things, I have like 59. Maybe I'll say the Paramedic fic because I sort of lost the will to work on it after I took it down. It didn't really feel like there was any interest.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. And fucknasty porn if we're being honest.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I sometimes feel like I really struggle writing any interpersonal relationships because I'm pretty bad at them irl. I know ADHD bleeds into my work and in every single character I write even if they don't intentionally have ADHD traits because I'll never ever actually understand the world from any other perspective. I also have to resist overexplaining shit even in my writing. I'm also bad at actually, you know, starting the task of writing sometimes lmaooo Plus just, like, me and my insecurities. Which is more of a personal weakness but it def affects how I interact with some of my own work/responses to it sometimes. Also see above and hate asking for "help" and being a "bother" and the fact that only like a few of my stories are beta'd lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't do it very often, esp in Steddie. But I've done it in the past (I mean, Bucky Barnes, so...) It's like anything else in writing. You do it when you have a reason to do it and you consider the why of it and how different readers might interact with it and how you WANT them to interact with it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCR and The Used bandfic back on motherfucking Quizilla

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Not to flex with the fact that I have 131 works on ao3 and that I've been writing on there for over 10 years, but there are so many things I love and love still--or even things I don't love still and would do a completely different way but love the memory of, or even just the accomplishment represented by that thing--that it'd be impossible to pick just one. But I'll talk about a few that come to mind - Fave Steddie is still Cut and Changed and Rearranged and my baby bisexual Steve learning he is loved

I love the work and historical research I put into The Second Labor, my alt version of the first Captain America movie where Steve joins the war effort in a different way.

And I also love my Cyberpunk Stucky, Empires Fall, but Not Us and think of it fondly.

Anyway thanks again for the tags Wynn and Mack 🥰! This was a nice little reflection moment lol Tagging @sparklyslug @greatunironic @banannabethchase @vecnuthy @starryeyedjanai

#fanfic #tagged games

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fugos-lil-fork · 1 year

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Some Random Mista Headcanons! (Some r kinda NOT SFW)

Has definitely thought about getting a navel piercing

I wouldn't say he's really clingy?( At least not in the level i hc Nara to be where he'd definitely want/need to know where his s/o is at, at all times in fear of them suddenly abandoning him-) But like, Mista does like it/feels relieved when his s/o updates him on where they're at/what they're doing just bc of y'know, mafia- And he's been left a bit traumatize by witnessing what had happened to the woman he saved, that he's afraid anyone he loves could suddenly have that happened to them and he, or someone like him, wont be there to save/help them.

Bc of that, I also think he absolutely hates ppl that get too handsy immediately. It's not jealousy, he's just genuinely afraid of his loved one being taken advantage of/being forced into do something they don't want to do.

Mf turns every game between him and s/o into a stripping game 💀

Absolutely adores PDA- (obviously I mean, I hc that mans has a thing for fucking in public so why wouldn't he love PDA?-)

I hc that this boi grew up with multiple siblings- Which is a reason why he's so over his stand. They just remind him of his siblings and bc he has younger siblings, he knows how to take care of them.

He loves the beach... Just that-

Mista keeps condoms in his boots. He sometimes accidentally pulls them out instead of his bullets 💀

The pistols always snitch on him, how he's feeling, and embarrassing shit he's done/said.

Definitely owns thongs-

He definitely has a playlist for when he wants to get down and dirty either with himself or someone else-

Ik this man's gropes his s/o on a regular basis 💀 Just a quick grab, squeeze, or smack of certain areas 😭

I ACTUALLY GIVE CREDIT TO MY FRIEND FOR THIS ONE- He hc that when Mista's desperately lonely and depressed about his s/o being away for so long, he goes as far as fucking his own pillow 💀 (that poor innocent pillow, #JusticeForMista'sPillow)

Kinda rare for him to call his s/o by their name. He absolutely prefers to use pet names/endearing names.

Man's jerks off twice a day, maybe three if wakes up to morning wood-

Definitely owns porn magazines (mf stole them tho-)

He owns two tube tops-

He has a BIG family. Aside from having a couple siblings, his older siblings have children. Has quite a bit of aunts and uncles as well as cousins. Yet, no one knows about his "profession". He simply tells them he works for a company that requires his to travel quite a bit. And whatever scars they're able to point out on him he shrugs them off as scars from guys trying to mug him.

He has a genuinely wholesome relationship with his family. The only reason they hadn't been able to bail him out of jail when he was thrown in it was because they didn't have the money to do so. However, they're all extremely proud of him for saving the woman.

He "worked" at a small family business growing up. (Worked, in quotes, bc he mostly goofed around or just lounged around in the back lmao-)

Has a family tradition where his entire family meets up at one of their homes just so they can all see and bond with each other. Obviously, he always goes, and has dragged the Bucci gang to it before. (Fugo and Abbacchio agreed that never again- Narancia loved how sweet and fun everyone was- And everyone demanded for Bruno return next time-)

He isn't sure if he wants children or not (biologically or otherwise) because he, obviously, loves the energy his big ass family brings. But, he also understands the reality of his line of work. Though, his family constantly pressure him to have kids one day.

✨Bi King✨

He's never out right said he's fruity to his family- He's heavily implied it to them. Some of them understand and actually accept him (bc they been knew ever since he started dressing himself up-) but others still don't get it and think he only gets pussy- (those who don't understand r actually the ones that pressure him the most to have kids 💀)

His mom and dad have known since day one that he also liked dick-

His siblings bet on whether he's gonna end up marrying a guy or a girl (some bet he's gonna stay a hoe and never get married-)

Spoils his family thanks to Mafia money

Sweats SUPER easily, that's the real reason he gets rlly stinky

Despite being naturally really warm, he loves warm clothing even during the summer (another reason as to why he gets stinky so quickly/easily)

Has absolutely no clue how to match outfits- He just throws on the first items he sees and since he considers his clothing nice/attractive clothing, he figures it all matches/goes together (it doesn't.)

Man's sleeps ONLY with boxers (or butt-naked-) and no blankets. Only uses the thinnest blanket known to man in the winter-

Absolute sucker for men in fancy ass suits. He somehow finds them as sexy as lingerie

Y'know how u fall asleep one place then wake up in your room? It's him. He's the one carrying you to bed whenever you fall asleep somewhere else-

He gossips a shit ton. But he's slightly better at keeping secrets than Narancia- The only reason he'd tell is if he's bored and wants to start up ✨drama✨ or the person who the secret came from pissed him off and he decides to expose them

Pretends to be in serious pain when he's not just so he could hog his s/o's undivided attention and they can shower him with physical affection-

He owns a motorcycle but only uses it on his days off when he goes out and to show it off

He's a soar loser- If he loses at a game he'd definitely start being like "Yeah... This game isn't really fun. Let's do something else"

Loves to leave bite marks on his s/o's thighs, neck, and shoulders

Needs to take at least one nap a day with his s/o, doesn't matter how long it is. He n e e d s it-

Can and does stick other stuff into his pants when he gets tired of holding them instead of using his pockets like a normal person

One of his favorite animated movies is definitely Sausage Party 😭

Every time he has sex in a multiple of four, he gets an STI 💀

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