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aberrantcreature · 2 months
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✨Radar Technician✨
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sithhoplite · 1 year
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ladyofreylo · 2 years
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How It Should Have Ended: Star Wars, Revenge of the Sith (x)
HISHE didn’t have to go this hard but they did 😭😭😭
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invincibleinck · 1 year
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Darth Revan
The Leviathan
(Edit: 2022-11-10: Added some stuff).
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vertigoartgore · 8 months
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Scrubs's Star Wars spoof (Turk as Han Solo, Janitor as Chewbacca, J.D. as Luke Skywalker and both Elliot & Carla as Princess Leia) from one of the J.D.'s Fantasies in the 2001 episode "My Two Dads".
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skellymom · 6 months
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Leslie Nielsen in Star Wars
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Silly mashup. If anyone out in Tumblr land remembers The Naked Gun from back in the day.
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machetelanding · 1 year
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snailtrain · 1 year
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*The not included
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headspacedad · 1 year
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Star Wars by Balenciaga
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ermakeys · 2 years
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Cocoon
Chapter 1: Welcome to Edar
Warnings: War, Trauma, PTSD, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence
AO3
Mando’a:
Vode - Siblings
Osik - Shit
A cocoon is meant to protect. To envelope the occupant inside in soft silk and shield it from the outside world.
Naire Tadir has chosen to cocoon herself after being transferred to the 424th Battalion. A battalion that is fighting to secure her home sector in the Edari Veil. A reassignment she didn't ask for or want in a sector she doesn't want to be in. She has been tasked with solving a murder on her home planet and Naire has to do her best to keep her own secrets hidden while uncovering those around her.
No matter how painful it is.
Reassignment Orders.
The words glared up at Naire from her datapad, taunting her as she just stared at them numbly. They taunted her as the pad glowed in the dim light of the passenger area of the transport. The same words kept her from resting as the soldiers around her sprawled in their seats, catching as much shuteye as they could.
They had learned the battlefield allowed for very little peace and quiet or the chance to rest in relative safety. The hum of the transport ship now was a soft lullaby in comparison. That same hum was a scream in her ears as the hyperdrive took her further and further from what she had considered her home, her family.
“So, where are you coming from?”
The cheery voice from above made Naire flinch and she scrambled to hold on to her pad as the same voice let out a quiet laugh. She looked up wide-eyed at the soldier standing next to her seat with a grin and blinked a few times before she could form words, “Excuse me?”
Mirth twinkled in his brown eyes as the soldier in bright white armor gestured towards her datapad.
“I saw the headline of your orders. Where are you being reassigned from?” he asked and Naire felt her fingertips try to dig into the hard plastic of the datapad. She glanced down at the words that had caused her world to spin out of control before turning the pad off entirely. No need to have the orders continue to mock her.
“Seventh Sky Corps. I served on the Venator Negotiator,” she answered quietly and winced as the soldier repeated the name of the ship loudly. A few of the other soldiers stirred nearby and the man beside her ducked his head sheepishly when they both spotted a few glares sent his way. A few grumbled, but quiet settled again quickly as the soldier took the free seat next to her with gleaming eyes.
“That’s the ship the 212th Attack Battalion uses!” he whispered and she smiled at the admiration on his unmarked face. Naire slipped her pad into her bag at her feet and tilted her head to continue listening. “I didn’t even know it was possible to switch between corps or even sector armies. I’m amazed you’d leave the 7th at all. I’ve heard many stories about my vode there.”
Naire’s fingertips lingered on the pad in her bag for a moment as she let his words make the ache in her chest sting sharply. Like an open wound where someone had poured a generous amount of salt. By the bucket.
“It happens. Not often, but reassignments between corps and armies do happen when they are necessary,” she said and sat up to lean back in her seat with a shrug. “And I didn’t have much say in the matter. Orders are orders.”
“Think I’d have a chance to get reassigned to the 212th?”
Naire laughed softly when he wiggled his eyebrows at her and she shook her head at his antics.
“Give your squad a chance and get some experience under your belt,” she murmured and then tapped a finger to his white shoulder pad. “Last I’d heard the 212th only rarely accepted troopers fresh off Kamino.”
His brows rose at her words and he placed a hand over his chest, the very picture of mock-offense, “Excuse you, I might just like my armor white? Why do you think I’m a shiny off Kamino?”
She smiled, drumming her fingers across her knee as she considered him.
“It doesn’t take much to make that guess. Your white armor and unmarked face alone would be a good hint, but I also know this transport made a rendezvous with a transport from Kamino to take all of you soldiers to Edar,” Naire sighed with a wave of her hand when he mockingly, but quietly, began to applaud me. “I wouldn’t be a very good intelligence officer if I couldn’t gather that much.”
The trooper whistled quietly.
“Intelligence officer, eh? What rank?”
It was a fair question. Naire knew she’d been sloppy with her headscarf and part of it was covering her rank designations. New rank designations that felt like they burned into her chest.
Unearned. Undeserving. A way to get her out, out, out.
Naire’s cheeks heated with shame and she hoped the soldier would misinterpret her guilty look as one of embarrassment.
“Lieutenant.”
The trooper straightened in his seat and whipped out a quick salute. Naire quickly raised her hands in a panic to stop him, but he said, “Apologies, lieutenant, that I did not recognize your rank sooner.”
“Shi, shu, sh, no!” Naire hissed, waving her hands, desperate for him to stop. “Please, don’t. I just got promoted and this really doesn’t feel real and I really, really wish they hadn’t. I can’t-.”
She paused when she noticed the way his mouth flattened and the corners of his lips trembled. Naire dropped her hands into her lap with an exasperated sigh and her companion slapped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing too loudly while his brothers rested. She fiddled with her head covering to have it properly arranged while the soldier wheezed, composing himself again. Finally, he held out a hand with a grin.
"I'm CT-4251, but my brothers call me Solus."
"Naire Tadir," she replied, extending her own hand. She blinked when he reached out and grasped her entire lower arm in a firm grip. It always felt strange to have her arm held like that in a greeting. “Your brothers of the 7th Sky Corps called me Spoof though.”
His grin widened into a full smile as he quirked a brow at her.
“Spoof?”
Naire shrugged and pulled her arm from his grasp.
“I’m good at gaining intelligence through the holonet,” she said and then nodded back at him. “‘Solus’ though. That’s Mando’a for ‘one’ or ‘united’. Why that name?”
Solus hummed and reached for his rifle from where it leaned against his seat. He settled it across his lap and the extended barrel and silencer brushed her own knee. Naire leaned closer when she spotted a handful of words painted on the side.
“‘One shot, one kill’,” Solus read aloud, a finger tracing across the words. “I’m an excellent sniper which is what my new squad requested. My commander during training even admitted I was a half decent shot which is huge praise from him.”
Solus chuckled, shaking his head at a memory.
“Ruined his whole day and made us pay for it by having us run through the worst scenarios he could think of. Hated giving compliments.”
Naire squinted at him and asked, “That wouldn’t be Commander Alpha-17, would it?”
“The same! You know about Commander-,” Solus stopped himself when there was an annoyed hiss a few seats away. He ducked his head with a grin and then rolled his eyes. “Actually, never mind, silly question. Of course you’d know about him as an intelligence officer.”
Naire’s chest ached.
Her work wasn’t how she knew about Alpha-17. She’d heard enough stories about the commander that she felt she would recognize him instantly among a group of fellow clones. Remembering those that had told her those stories though… Made her ache.
“Attention.”
Naire flinched when the lights flickered to life in the passenger area and the captain’s voice echoed through the hold. The ship lurched slightly as it dropped out of hyperspace, jerking awake the last few sleeping. The dozing clones groaned and grumbled at the sudden change in light while Solus and Naire shielded their eyes to adjust.
“We will arrive on Edar in the capital Pleah in five minutes. Those joining the 42nd will disembark here.”
Solus straightened and quickly strapped himself in when the ship shuddered a little. The other clones were stirring to life and settling in their seats. They glanced at each other, rest from before abandoned and now brimming with excitement. The ship rumbled as it shook from turbulence and Solus glanced at Naire with a wry grin.
“I suppose you’ve flown a lot since you’re barely reacting to us entering the atmosphere?”
Naire grimaced and folded my hands in my lap.
“I was recruited into the GAR a year ago, so I’ve seen my fair share of flight,” she admitted as the shuddering eased a little. “However, while I have been serving on a starship, I didn’t go planetside very much.”
Solus chuckled and nudged Naire with an elbow.
“Still more than any shiny on this transport.”
The transport shuddered and Naire leaned back in her seat. A few of the soldiers tensed and held on to their straps, uneasy. Their tension bled out of them when the ship settled and the engine turned down to a low hum. A clone lieutenant with a shoulder pad stood up at the front and called, “Alright, everyone bound for the 42nd on your feet!”
Solus along with about four squads worth of clones jumped from their seats, gathering their gear and rushing forward to line up. Except Solus waited next to Naire as she unstrapped. She picked up her bag and slipped it across her shoulders with a smile his way, “Bound for the 42nd as well?”
He grinned as they joined the back of the waiting troopers before he put his white helmet on.
“424th. You?”
Naire’s smile widened in delight as she pulled her officer’s cap from her bag and pressed it firmly onto her head.
“424th as well. Good to know one trooper on the ground already.”
Solus raised a fist with a static laugh through his vocoder and Naire bumped hers against his as the ramp was lowered. She smiled at the sound of the wind whistling outside and the way some troopers tried to peer ahead at what lay outside. The clone lieutenant barked a marching order and they descended the ramp and out into the landing area. A few troopers stumbled at the sudden onslaught of harsh wind once they reached the outside. Even Solus swayed for a moment and mumbled, “Osik, how strong are the winds here?”
Naire leaned into the wind, finding her footing and she smiled. It had been years since she’d been on Edar and yet she found her current again so quickly. It really was something you never forgot.
“Wind speeds on a regular day range between fifty to sixty kph,” she answered just loud enough to be heard over the whistling of the wind as it whipped between the nearby buildings, powerlines and antennae. She glanced around as Solus made a choked sound of disbelief.
The republic base made Naire’s brows rise in surprise. It was more exposed to the elements than she had expected. Edari structures were hidden in protected valleys or tunneled straight into solid stone.
The capital Pleah was an example of both.
A lush green valley with structures nestled between the greenery and winding paths. The greenery petered out the higher up the valley it reached and the structures were carved out of the solid valley wall. Tall towers of stone carved out of the valley wall and everywhere streamers of bright cloth whipping in the wind.
It filled Naire with nostalgia and longing.
The republic base however was seated on a plateau at the top of the valley, fully exposed to the wind. A few streamers fluttered above the base, but those were the only Edari influence Naire could spot from where she stood.
A base that housed the 42nd Brigade.
The troopers and Naire came to a stop a few meters from the ramp in front of four clones in their full armor. Their armor stood in stark contrast to that of the clones fresh from Kamino. Black was the dominant color with splashes of dark blue and white. A commander stood flanked by two captains and a lieutenant. The commander nodded at the Kaminoan clone lieutenant and called, “Welcome to Edar, vode.”
A few of the troopers glanced at each other at the raspy voice that came from the vocoder. It came out strained and rough and Naire struggled to hear it over the wind. Everyone stiffened to attention when the commander continued, “I am Clone Battalion Commander Bes’bev of the 424th Battalion and here to welcome you in the place of Senior Commander Chaabar. Edar might be a Republic world, but it is not without its struggles. We need your fighting spirit and together we can help these people.”
Naire tensed at his words. She’d heard some news about Edar in the last year since the Separatists tried to cede from the Republic. Nothing too bad, but maybe there had been a recent development? Commander Bes’bev gestured towards the lieutenant and two captains next to him, pointing each one out as he gave his next orders, “Those of you joining the 422nd follow Lieutenant Maroon. Bound for the 423rd, you follow Captain Lem. Assigned to the 424th, follow Captain Chess.”
He paused for a moment and seemed to search the troopers gathered before him. Naire stiffened when the visor of his helmet settled on her in the back.
“Lieutenant Tadir will join me for her orders.”
Naire tried not to physically recoil at her new title. She hated it. She nearly missed when Commander Bes’bev dismissed the troopers and Solus tapped her forearm. The other troopers were hurrying to join their officer, but Solus waved and teased, “Catch you later, Lieutenant Spoof.”
Some of the tension drained from Naire’s shoulders and Solus dashed after his clone brothers to join Captain Chess. A captain that was giving orders while he stood next to Commander Bes’bev. A commander that was watching and waiting for her.
Naire walked towards them and tried to take a moment to study their armor. She’d have to learn to recognize them quickly. Captain Chess had a pattern of black and white squares on his kama while parts of his armor alternated between black and white. As if someone had taken a mirror down his middle and inverted the colors. Commander Bes’bev was all smooth lines and curves. Nearly entirely black with flashes of rounded white curves. Then Naire saw what looked like sharp white teeth painted along the jaws of his helmet. Both soldiers had small pieces of dark blue material peeking through.
And both of their visors were fixated slightly above her until she got close.
“Lieutenant Tadir,” Commander Bes’bev greeted her once she was close enough. Naire smiled nervously as he extended his hand towards her and she held her own out, expecting another handshake like she had with Solus. To her delight he brushed his fingers against the inside of her palm in the Edari equivalent of a handshake. “It feels odd to welcome a native of the Edari system back to their own homeworld.”
Any delight Naire had been feeling until then evaporated. She tried to keep up her smile though.
“I appreciate the sentiment anyway, commander,” she answered and then fiddled with the strap of her bag with one hand. “Thank you for having me here.”
Commander Bes’bev nodded and then whistled. Naire flinched at the sound coming from his vocoder, but Captain Chess had stopped giving orders and stepped closer to stand beside Commander Bes’bev. The latter placed a hand on the former’s shoulder and declared, “This is Captain Chess. He’s in charge of the Ne’tra Gi Company and the squadron you will be attached to. Anything you need done, you can approach him.”
“A pleasure to have you, Lieutenant Tadir,” Captain Chess greeted Naire with a respectful nod and he extended his hand as well. Naire repeated the Edari handshake and smiled nervously. She needed them to stop using that rank and name.
“The pleasure is mine, captain,” she said and glanced between the two. Her fingers tightened on the strap of her bag as she tried to swallow her nerves. “And, ah, well, I don’t really use my family name much. My friends in the 7th called me Spoof and I have grown fond of the name. If it isn’t too much trouble, ah, would it be possible to…?”
The two looked at each other as Naire’s sentence petered out. She wished she could see their faces. She wouldn’t be such an anxious mess if she could get a better feel for them. Her shoulders slumped in relief when Chess turned back to her with clear amusement in his voice, “Of course. I’ll make sure the vode know to call you by your chosen name.”
The smile Naire shot him was probably the first sincere one since she’d landed here. Chess glanced back at the waiting troopers and drawled, “I’d better get these shinies settled and broken in.”
Commander Bes’bev gave him a nod and Chess walked back to the troopers that had been watching and trying to listen in. The commander waved at Naire to follow and they walked towards what she assumed was the command center while he said, “We are glad to have you here. Chess and his squad have been covering your predecessor's work until we could get a new intelligence officer.”
Aaah work. That she could handle. They paused at the door of the command center and Commander Bes’bev entered his codes so they could enter. He pulled a small datachip from a pouch once they’d passed the doors and held it out to Naire. She blinked as she took it, staring at a sharp metal pipe attached to his belt next to the pouch. What-?
“This contains your code for the base and the layout of the base which you can upload to your datapad,” Commander Bes’bev explained once she’d slipped the datachip into her breast pocket. The sterile gray hall echoed with our footsteps and Naire winced a little when she could still hear the wind outside. Definitely not constructed by Edari. “The command center is next to the barracks for the nat-borns, but I’ll have someone take you on a tour later this evening.”
Then they stepped into the actual command center.
The circular room had a large console in the middle that currently displayed a map of the planet with several locations marked. People sat before their own smaller consoles around the room on the ground floor. The large, center console was on an elevated platform and was being surveyed by two people. A clone commander in armor that was nearly entirely black, helmet tucked under one arm and an elderly lasat in off-white robes, a lightsaber attached to their belt.
A Jedi?
Naire was so busy looking around she nearly missed it when Commander Bes’bev removed his helmet with a quiet sigh. He brushed back some of the curls that had come loose from his ponytail and tucked his helmet under his arm like the commander above before glancing at Naire. He nodded up towards the commander and lasat and in a hoarse voice drawled, “Let’s introduce you to Commander Chaabar and General Su.”
A pang of anxiety swept through her, but Naire took a deep breath and nodded. Commander Bes’bev walked towards the center console and her hand clenched around the strap of her bag. She could do this. She’d done it before, she could do it again.
Commander Bes’bev paused at the bottom of the steps and glancing back at Naire, mumbled, “The general uses they/them pronouns.”
Naire nodded stiffly and then they ascended the stairs. The general was the first to notice them and their amber eyes lit up at the sight with delight. They smiled warmly as Commander Bes’bev and Naire climbed the few steps up and they exclaimed, “Bes’bev, you are a wonderful sight for these old eyes of mine! Who have you brought me today?”
Naire could have sworn Commander Bes’bev’s lips twitched into the shape of a smile for a heartbeat. Next thing she knew, he’d saluted the lasat and gestured towards her, “General, the intelligence officer you requested has arrived.”
The general turned their brilliant smile onto Naire and their expression softened as if they could feel her nerves. They extended a hand and crooned, “Welcome to our base, lieutenant. I am Sulavo Kad, please call me Su.”
Naire brushed her fingers along their four fingered palm with a tight smile.
“Thank you, Master Su. My name is Naire Tadir, but I would prefer the name Spoof,” Naire returned and their pointed ears twitched with open curiosity. She withdrew her hand again and asked, “I did not realize the situation on Edar had deteriorated so far that the Jedi Council had gotten involved.”
Master Su sighed heavily and waved a hand at the projection of Edar in front of them.
“Seperatist sympathizers have grown more vocal and violent in the last months. Especially here in the capital,” they explained and Naire frowned in concern. Vocal she could see. Even understand. But violent? The Edari? Master Su waved at the second commander though, interrupting her thoughts. The commander had a frown almost permanently etched into his face as Master Su said, “However, I should introduce our dear commander to you. This is Clone Senior Commander Chaabar of the 42nd Battalion.”
“Spoof, was it?” Commander Chaabar asked in a low growl as he extended his hand towards her. Naire tried not to flinch at how much deeper his voice sounded and just nodded as she returned the handshake. He scoffed lightly and narrowed his brown eyes at her. “Think I’ve heard about you from the 212th Battalion and 501st Company. Seemed too fond of you to just give you up so easily.”
The air was sucked out of her lungs. Naire was dimly aware of Master Su suddenly straightening to their full towering height and glancing between Naire and Commander Chaabar as she struggled to remain composed. Naire took a deep breath and murmured, “Orders are orders.”
There. No tremble. No break. No tears. Only the too perceptive eyes of a Jedi master on her. Eyes that wandered over her before flicking between the two commanders with an easy smile.
“I will escort the lieutenant the rest of the way, Bes’bev,” they declared and held out an arm out to Naire. She lightly placed her hand on their arm and Master Su smiled. “Bes’bev, you discussed codes and will give her a tour later?”
“Yes, General Su.”
“Excellent. Then carry on.”
Naire managed a quick nod and smile for the two clones before Master Su escorted her down the steps from the elevated platform. Once the two of them had turned away from the main console, she became aware of eyes on them. The people in the room were trying to be subtle, but the way they quickly turned back to their own consoles betrayed where their focus had been. She lowered her own gaze to avoid them until they’d reached a new hallway. Master Su pointed out the door to their office and a few more doors further down Naire’s own office.
Her own office. Naire felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach. Back in the 7th Corps she’d never had her own office. She didn’t have the rank for it. Now she was the highest ranked intelligence officer on the planet. That warranted her own office and she hated the responsibility that came with it.
“I didn’t realize things had become so dire on Edar that the Jedi Council would involve itself,” she repeated softly as they continued down the hallway. Master Su stopped walking, forcing Naire to stop as well and she looked up at them. They frowned, staring ahead with a distant look in their eyes.
“I will be honest with you,” they stated in a hushed voice and slowly turned their gaze onto Naire. “The Separatists on Edar have grown bold. There are droids on Edar, holding small areas. They sent a bomb to this base that killed many of our soldiers here and have targeted our patrols and those that support the Republic. The people of Edar are withdrawn, afraid to draw the ire of the Seperatist sympathizers.”
Naire felt the blood drain from her face. A bombing? Why hadn’t she heard anything about that? She shook her head as Master Su slowly continued to walk. She could look into it more closely later and she had more pressing questions before that, “I know the Edari are more secretive and withdrawn than other people, but I thought Lord Coldo had invited the GAR to come to Edar. I would have thought he would encourage the people to cooperate with you?”
Master Su chuckled, patting Naire’s hand resting on their forearm.
“Lord Coldo did invite us, yes,” they answered and then sighed heavily. “Unfortunately, his father Monarch Melaron has spoken against siding with either the Republic or the Separatists. Despite stepping back from most of his roles as Monarch of Edar, Monarch Melaron is still loved by the Edari and so his opinion holds sway over many.”
Naire couldn’t help the groan of disappointment. Of course, Monarch Melaron would speak against taking a side.
“He’s always been a traditionalist, advocating that the Edari system remain neutral and withdrawn from the rest of the galaxy.”
“I hear his son is of a different opinion which is why we have had as much support as we do,” Master Su said with a smile and Naire couldn’t help but smile in return, pride filling her. Lord Coldo had always advocated against his father’s tendency for isolation. “Still, it made sense to request an Edari intelligence officer if there was one available.”
Available. Any pride Naire had felt turned to ice at the word. She hadn’t been. She’d been wrapped up in a few projects that she had hastily transferred to her colleagues on the Venator Negotiator. Master Su hummed as if they could sense her turmoil through Naire’s hand resting on their forearm. They probably could through the force.
At this point they’d stepped out of the command center and stood before one of the smaller buildings of the base. Master Su entered their code and escorted Naire inside. They stopped in front of one of the doors and declared, “This is your room on the base. It was Lieutenant Wor Ospilt’s before you.”
The door slid open with a quiet hiss with a press from Master Su and they gestured for Naire to step inside. It was sparse with a bunk, desk and a door to a private fresher. She set her bag on the bunk and glanced at the desk that had a stack of datapads on it.
“Lieutenant Ospilt’s projects,” Master Su explained and Naire picked up the one at the top. Only to be met with a locked screen. “The datachip from Bes’bev should unlock the datapads for you.”
Naire nodded and set the pad down again as Master Su clasped their hands behind their back with a smile.
“I will let you settle in. You have traveled far to come here. Besides, you will have a tour of the facilities later from one of Bes’bev’s men,” they added and began to step back through the open door. They paused when Naire raised a hand quickly.
“What happened to my predecessor? Lieutenant Ospilt? It wasn’t mentioned in my orders.”
Just from what they’d said so far, Naire had an inkling, but… She felt my gut clench when Master Su grimaced.
“The Separatist Sympathizers killed him.”
The door slid shut as Master Su stepped away. Naire’s last chance at escape closing with it.
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spacejanitorsseries · 22 days
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yourapple56-blog · 8 months
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Have you ever heard of the cult classic Hardware Wars?
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vertigoartgore · 8 months
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Dr. Perry Cox as Obi-Wan Kenobi in Scrubs's Star Wars spoof from the 2001 episode "My Two Dads" (1x05).
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machetelanding · 2 years
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