#THE RED FLAGS ARE SO RED THO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sillybadger · 10 months

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meanwhile Guy Who Has An Aggressive Crush on me has revealed two red flags and just. …..when I joked about how I need a man who is obsessed with me I didn’t mean just any man come ON

#we’re not even friends but we have mutual friends so he’s at every party #THE RED FLAGS ARE SO RED THO #1. apparently he’s the type of alcoholic who tries to pressure people who aren’t drinking into drinking with him #(idc that he’s an alcoholic I’ve been there done that but holy fuck. if someone says No that means NO!!!!)#2. I cannot have a conversation with any man about anything without him jumping in and interrupting #and I thought at first ‘ok maybe he just wants to be included and is awkward about it’#but he genuinely was annoying 2 of my guy friends with how incessant his drunk ass was the other night #and he’s been doing that for two months now.#and he NEVER interrupts or jumps in when I’m talking to girls???#and I told my brother who immediately interrupted and was like ‘damn he gets THAT jealous….does he know you’re bi??’#bc then he’d have to stop EVERYONE from talking to me 😭#also….for the past week he’s been trying to pressure me into going to this one party…#and it’s making me uncomfortable.#but a lot of my friends are going so I do want to go #and also might definitely go if Crush is there but idk if he would go? bc he’s a recovering alcoholic #even though he said other people drinking around him genuinely doesn’t trigger anything #but if I go I know I’ll be followed around like a puppy by a guy I’ve never been more than polite normal friendly with #what a situation to be in

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inkskinned · 9 months

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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free-my-mindd · 8 days

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#twitterpost #so true tho #red flags #know your worth

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raayllum · 11 months

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This ruined my life

#tdp claudia #s5 spoilers #arc 2 #s1 #s5 #tdp spoilers #1x06 #s i g h s #y e a h #almost looks like a nightmare tho so im Curious #parallels #mine #tdp #claudia #the dragon prince #do u see the red flags now terry

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bittersweet-mojo · 5 months

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very much not a youtuber fanart person but the end of hermitcraft season 9 really got to me so here's ya boy grain.

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stuckinapril · 16 days

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I stay up nights thinking ab how my ex’s biggest flex is he’s a skater stoner who played the guitar

#I rly dated that red flag and thought that was going somewhere LMAOOOOO #Whenever he wanted to impress me he’d just whip out his guitar omfg I’m so stupid kill me #He DID have such a sick guitar tho #And let me strum it #But still…….#His riffs weren’t even that good #Me at 19 was so interesting #Girl next time don’t date someone just bc they’re hot and play the guitar #Where is the spine

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k-n0-x · 28 days

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Red flags but the flags are heart shaped~

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧🚩✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Okay we all know that Lucifer is the perfect man for me, but even the brightest stars have their dull moments.

Luci has these moments where he’s really clingy where it’s almost possessive? and sticks to your side like a cleaver, which usually you don’t mind, but it gets annoying when he whines whenever you have to do the most mundane tasks.

Gets jealous waaaaay too easily. If you give positive attention to any other Hell resident bar Charlie ofc, it sends him into a fit of silent rage, some of which you notice, and confront him about it.

This leads to the next red flag. He clams up and defends himself, using excuses like “He doesn’t wanna lose you” (Which is valid, given his backstory) but sometimes he doesn’t just admit he’s wrong, and communicate that in an appropriate way. Though, he tries to improve, without telling you as such.

Speaking of communication, he struggles to open up about his problems and what he sees; 9 times out of 10, you have to coax it out of him.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧🚩✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

#This actually pained me writing this #I am so delulu about this man I want to ignore his flaws #Coz he has none (me when I lie)#But it has to be addressed #💔💔💔💔#I actually don’t think these are red flags #more like #Bro has been thru alot #Or maybe it’s me defending him #Idk tho #fanfiction #hazbin hotel #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer morningstar #angst #THIS SUCKS ASS

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isas-bathbombs · 5 months

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oh my god cass ended my run on donna’s route bc i gave and accepted the flowers 😭😭 SHE CAN END UR RUN TWICE???

#cassandra dimitrescu #the fact her sisters were with her is so cute tho #and the fact she forced bela im giggling #i should be mad but i love cass #shes a red flag sometimes (but i forgive her)#resident lover #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu

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harbingersecho · 7 months

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RVBtober 6 > favorite character Colonel Sarge

all rise for the flag 07

#red vs blue #rvbtober #colonel sarge #sarge #rvb #mine #*23 #i wasnt gonna do this day bc i've been drawing locs so much already but then i was just. hey. you love sarge too right? he's ur special guy #and he is. no face reveal for YOU tho. showing sarge's face feels kinda like showing wrench's face. like hey now this is rly intimate #like a victorian woman showing ankle.#also sarge's transgender energy is off the charts. didnt feel like drawing the tattoos tho i hate doing tattoos but they're so cool #crazy mechanist leather biker sarge ftw btw. i rly do believe in that.#his two sons are holding up the flag. simmons is off smooching with the enemy (grif) and he will cry abt this later and write abt it in his #diary that he pretends doesn't exist. they're also setting off fireworks inside that he has to clean up #theyre taking his grindr profile pic or whatever. red army recruitment. whatever u want.

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vhvrs · 26 days

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watched needle park and scarecrow this week... hated bobby enough i have 0 desire to draw him. loved francis so much i think i fell in love five times. as it goes.

#francis lionel delbuchi #scarecrow 1973 #dork art #like enough so im making my bobby charm a francis charm #ap is GORGEOUS in needle park tho n his acting ugh.....agh..... gr8 film. my god horrible guy on the scale of bad pacino charas #was generally shocked in turn francus was such a genuinely good person n sweetheart #like wow. he doesnt only play pretty boys full of red flags #anyways attempts at screenshot studies finally #i have more tomorrow uhm sorry #francis just ticked such a specific character trope i cant explain uhm. bangs my head into my wall

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sukibenders · 5 months

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TBOSAS movie is proving time and time again that as long the character is a handsome white man, he can get away with anything or be babified of any wrongdoing. Like the number of people that I've seen go out of their way to try and justify Snow's actions, not even just young Snow anymore at this point but he's largely where this happens, using the term "he was just misunderstood" and acting as if his trauma was an excuse is mind-blowing. Did he go through traumatic stuff? Yes, but acting as if that excuses many of his actions, specifically for young Snow because there's no way in hell that mindset will work even a fraction with his older self (but people still try), is false and a mindset that needs to be stopped. Like I can't help but think about the way he views the people of the districts already in TBOSAS, seeing them and anything about them as animals rather than people, and how that mindset even falls on to the Covey and Lucy Gray herself. When reading some of their scenes together he comes off so passive aggressive when she talks about her plight, but it's largely because he treats her like an object---no, a PRIZE to be won and owned (thinking back to how, before they were even together romantically and where she didn't owe him shit, he still saw her as "his girl" and would get obsessive over the fact that others gravitated to her in a way he didn't like).

I'm not saying that it's wrong to find the bad guy attractive, it's not and Snow is very handsome, I will admit that. But just because he got a face card doesn't mean that should be basis for justifying every horrendous act he's done. And also, he's eighteen years old, why are people acting like he doesn't know his right from his left? He knows exactly what he's doing, from the books where his thoughts are literally laid out for us, to the movie itself. Though not as clear cut sometimes as the books, there are plenty scenes that let you know who he is (I think back to that classroom scene where Gaul is asking them questions, and Sejanus rightfully calls them out on their bs, but Snow uses his outrage and turns it into a way to make the Games better, completely going against Sejanus' original point).

What's even more sinister is some in the fandom going as far as to blame Lucy Gray for all of Snow's problems by saying "oh, but if she had just heard him out then maybe he wouldn't have been so heartbroken", as if she should had further risked her life and wellbeing to adhere to this man's needs when he was out to harm her or the fact that him having his heartbroken is justification for everything else he did before and after. There are many other examples of this, but it set a precedent for a very glaring problem in fandom spaces where the female character, especially if they are woc, is always to blame for the male, usually white, character's bad actions and that if they just listened to them and heard them out then so on and so on. Reminds me very much of the treatment of Alina in both show and books fandom spaces and babifying of the Darkling's actions by putting all the blame on her (never mind the fact that he's the cause for so much of her trauma, he's pretty after all *this was sarcasm*).

It's been a minute since I've seen the movie, so my example may be a little fuzzy, but my point still stands. You can like these characters and find them attractive, that's fine and normal. But where problems arise is when you try to paint over their bad acts because you thirst after them and/or proceed to place blame on the female characters, especially if they are woc, as a scapegoat.