#THIS HURTS SO MUCH ACTUALLY

[petxrpcrkedcar]

wanted to find that spiderman edit by emiliasbastard where he grabs buckys arm but i found smth WORSE

#starker #tnpt #tony stark x peter parker #THIS HURTS SO MUCH ACTUALLY #BRING BACK 2018 STARKER EDITS

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[lilybug-02]

Patience and responsibility....that's a promise....right?

Part 27 First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

An exorcism? In my family-friendly Deltarune? It's more likely than you may think. The backgrounds here were very interesting! Much more complex than how I usually do them (especially that computer).

Player POV:

Feral energy.

#Syke! Chara has no idea how to do sh*t with Exorcisms #in a society where it's literally seen as a blessing of some kind. It is seen as unethical! Your hurting the silly little guy :( #Why is Azzy so hesitant with this festival?? #WHAT THE HECK IS THE ANGELS LANDING DAY??? Azzy get over here- #without a soul?.....I dont know any creatures like that....plants maybe? #That is totally a knock off Mario cart and not a png I found online. DO NOT LOOK INTO THIS #Salt!? owo hehehe #I was very iffy on how much light I wanted here. I kept layering the darkness lmaoo. They kept the lights low in case Toriel woke up. #can you spot the everyman? ;) #hmm your not supposed to be able to read the computer....but I may make an update so people can actually see it?? I hate to leave it grainy #but im a little tired so thats maybe for tomorrow! #thank you all again for waiting so long! #deltarune chara timeline #deltarune chara timeline comic #bread #art #my art #chara #asriel #kris #susie

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry. #Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong: #“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH. #This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated. #I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them. #Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad. #When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment! #I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug. #Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends) #and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off. #I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi. #obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him. #I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

[yourangle-yuordevil]

Steps required for a Proper Courtship (min. 6000 years) ; a guide by A.Z. Fell: ☑ A Cotillion Ball (already organized) ☐ Secret and passionate kissing in an orangerie (alt- a bookshop)

#good omens comic #Their rituals are so intricate #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #The actual I forgive you scene hurts too much let's just pretend that this is what he meant and call it a day ahah #6000 anni per un semplice bacio a stampo??!?!??! cit. Aziraphale “you go too fast for me Crowely” #(rinomato per voler tutta la porchetta dopo il primo assaggio)

[obsob]

there he is......the man of the house

#mine #ough hello not posted in a while!! #im busy doin portfolio stuff so . not much cat drawinign going on THO i will. hopefully do one tomorrow hehe #i was gna get stickers for my next shop update but its hurting me head so. gna order new prints hopefully!! this week and then #do stickers n postcards next time. i am so low on stock sihfdkggwe #need 2 buy envelopes also....my least favourite thing 2 spend money on #what hve i been up to ....i made a blanket!! maybe i will post picture. it was gna b a cardigan i started it like last year #n then i went 2 sew it together n was like. this pattern is insane also this wool is too thick so. blanky :) #its very good. good lap blanket!! #what else what else....been re reading lotr. im reading it on ebook i lov ebook sm. i love printed books but i jus absolutely cannot #read them. dyslexia gang rise up !!!! #im reading it so much quicker tho n also actually remembering it ....would die for gimli #also started rewatching cr2 >:) i dont . actually like th new campaign so KSDFKJDN rewatch it is #even tho i dont like molly. not that thats gna b an issue for long sifubshbhebwj #im so seepy...so cold.....gna rest now probably n play skyrim hehe #cat drawings tomorrow >:) #okay bye

[claraoswalds]

The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userveronika #userteri #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #doctor x clara #twelveclara #* #I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS. #ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO. #I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE. #anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like #she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too -> #he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal -> #look how far i went for fear of losing you #ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that

[kokoasci]

event horizon

#something something theres a lot to be said about the astrophysics references in stormbringer #some things were done well others not so much but im just being really picky #actual good reference to the schwarzschild radius though we love a good astro ref #anyway. i read the light novel and it HURT #bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuuya #stormbringer #bsd art #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs fanart #bsd fanart #bungo stray dogs fanart #chuuya nakahara #bsd stormbringer #skk #kind of #kokoart

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong' #but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

[turtleblogatlast]

Mentioned this before but as much as I adore the medic Leo headcanon, my favorite type of it is when it’s basically just Leo knowing the most surface level of stuff and carrying around a super basic first-aid kit in his pack. So he knows how to use gauze, and he’s got a ton of Jupiter Jim branded bandaids, and if you really needed it then he can hit you up with some ibuprofen but other than that? Nothing.

But. I love the idea that that changes post-invasion.

They’re pretty sturdy, all of them, so they can take more than one beating and really only need a bandaid for the fun of it. But the invasion hit harder than ice packs and “lots of rest” would help with, and I can bet that a post being beaten to a pulp Leo would have a lot of time on his hands to reflect and, maybe, learn a thing or two as he waits to get better.

It’s nothing excessive, not at first, but he watches veterinary videos, and live surgeries, and other videos in that same realm (because the books are, uh, a bit too jargon-y for him) multiple times over. Just so he knows. Just in case he needs to know.

In his pack, there’s a first-aid kit. With the use of a mini portal for extra space, the kit has grown to include everything from scalpels to butterfly stitches to sutures to even fiberglass patches.

And obviously the Jupiter Jim brand bandaids stay too.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #medic leo #I especially like the idea that his want to learn more medical stuff is also pushed by him actually wanting to be a better hero too #like if they gotta rescue squishy humans then it’s probably good for them to know how to do basic care just in case! #Leo’s portals would come in clutch for easy access to necessary medical tools #I doubt Leo would be AMAZING at it especially not so young and inexperienced and without proper teaching #but idk I like the idea that the bro who wields the only weapon specially made for killing is the one who is the medic #it’s interesting to me! #and tbh I bet all the bros learn basic first aid too #April DEFINITELY knows it #splinter absolutely knows #but yeah I just really like the hc that Leo holds the bandaids and that’s about as much medical knowledge he’s got and LATER he learns more #like the idea that little Leo desperate to figure out how to contribute wanted to be a medic but then he came to the realization #that he and his family were all WAY TOO STURDY and never really got hurt 💀 #most of the time his bandaids went to Mikey who wasn’t ever hurt he just likes colorful stickers and at that point that’s all bandaids were

[surreal-duck]

I'll make myself look even cuter, so come find me, okay?

#woe. my blood sweat and tears poured into a barely a minute clip be upon ye #duck scribbles #arashi narukami #anzu #naruanzu #naruan #which one was it again ........ #enstars #ensemble stars #thank you so so much to my good friend wheeze for editing it OTL ilysm i owe u my life #my neck hurts. my back hurts. my shoulders hurt but at least ive finally finished it after imagining it in my head for so long #you can take me out of my haniwa fixation but you cant take the haniwa out of me #kawaiiku nar[u]tai has played in my mind for over a year now #i think redrawing each background from the mvs took two times longer than actually drawing the characters help me

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[doctorsiren]

Mr. Edgeworth and his boy

#doctorsiren #ace attorney #gregory edgeworth #miles edgeworth #ace attorney fanart #art #digital art #my art #fanart #procreate #sketch page #the grayscale one was referenced from a photo of Atticus Finch 🤭 #my hand hurts so much bc I was using the wrong pencil brush to darken my sketches and so I put too much pressure on my hand rip #I’ll be fine tho haha #I’m so in love with this man I need to actually start AAI2 so I can get to his case

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you. I'm sorry.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin guangyao #lan wangij #jin ling #LWJ shifting into fight mode was so damn cool. He is always ready to start throwing hands. #It's in a way that befits someone with a bit more bloodlust that his calm demeanor lets on - but nearly always in defense of someone. #What a great synergy with his personal philosophies! see that he is a Genuinely Noble Guy time and time again! #Is is also way more hilarious and unhinged than most people give him credit for? Also yes. #Nothing and no one ever said he did not or would not rip off JGY's hat mid-fight. I think LWJ needs to snatch more wigs LITERALLY. #Yes I'm delaying the part where I have to address the emotional turmoil of Jin Ling stabbing wwx. It gutted me terribly. #What is worse that realizing that someone you respected has done horrible things #than discovering someone who did horrible things being a kind and trustworthy person? #What is more horrifying that realizing other people are extremely complex and cannot be categorized into black and white? #When people hurt us or our loved ones we very much want to make them out to be irredeemable monsters. But they are not. #It is not actually such a terrible fate to just be a person. To be forgiven and forgive is possible. To change is possible. #This lesson is hard. It is something you have to actively challenge yourself to do. Black and white is the innate path to go down. #And its *why* I love Jin Ling so much. He is the character who fights the longest and hardest to challenge social and personal beliefs #He gets a pass for stabbing wwx for being so deliciously conflicted and tormented by it. #And with wrists THAT limp I can't imagine the wound was particularly deep

[p4nishers]

there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.

#do i wish he wouldn't forgive so easily (tho i don't actually think aziraphale needs forgiveness since he didn't do anything wrong and #actually without his decision their love story would've been stuck as it was for more than 6000 years and also heaven would never change #without someone dismantling it and making it new) #yes i do wish that and i also wish he'd learn self worth but we gotta be realistic here he never once been able to stay mad at aziraphale #all those times they had fights where aziraphale was (mostly) in the wrong and rejected crowley what did crowley do? immediately come #CRAWLING and BEGGING back like pls yall this is why i don't read post s2 fics bc everyone suddenly seems to forget their whole canon #personalities and history w each other and it's annoying me so much like i get that we all are hoping crowley learns from his mistakes and #stops being so easy for aziraphale (not me tho) but realistically speaking it's just not gonna happen and once again aziraphale DIDN'T. DO. #ANYTHING. WRONG. yes he hurt crowley with his decision but CROWLEY HURT HIM WITH HIS TOO so if yall wants an apology dance it's gonna turn #into a waltz cause they'd both need to do it #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #go s2

[dimeadozencows]

I have endured what no one on earth has ever done before

I put my lips to the hands of the man who killed my son

#deltarune #gaster #deltarune player #i love still headcanoning gaster as sans and papyrus's dad despite knowing that he saw everything that happened in undertale (including #the no mercy route) and seeing how friendly he is with us in deltarune #you would think he'd hate us and want do nothing to do with us or to hurt us but. he wants to create a new future with us. #he thinks that our search for him is a wonderful thing. he thinks we created a wonderful form. hes thankful for our time. #knowing this while still believing he's the father of characters we've killed makes him such an interesting character #we know he's tied to undertale so regardless of if he's actually their dad or not we have hurt people he knows #and he still treats us with so much care #i love this guy. i wanna know him already #this was fully inspired by a gorgeous drawing by WolfyTheWitch on twitter #of. actual priam jskdjdk #this was drawn using my poor poor pilot pens during classes over three days. i need to buy new ones now lol #i need to use this technique more often #its super time consuming but it looks so cool. and the paper has such an interesting texture now :]]] #i also LOVE drawing gasters hands all melting and barely even like hands #and brown paper packages tied up with string #my art #*i edited this a bit in digital i forgot to mention that gdjdjfk