#without someone dismantling it and making it new)

[p4nishers]

there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.

#do i wish he wouldn't forgive so easily (tho i don't actually think aziraphale needs forgiveness since he didn't do anything wrong and #actually without his decision their love story would've been stuck as it was for more than 6000 years and also heaven would never change #without someone dismantling it and making it new) #yes i do wish that and i also wish he'd learn self worth but we gotta be realistic here he never once been able to stay mad at aziraphale #all those times they had fights where aziraphale was (mostly) in the wrong and rejected crowley what did crowley do? immediately come #CRAWLING and BEGGING back like pls yall this is why i don't read post s2 fics bc everyone suddenly seems to forget their whole canon #personalities and history w each other and it's annoying me so much like i get that we all are hoping crowley learns from his mistakes and #stops being so easy for aziraphale (not me tho) but realistically speaking it's just not gonna happen and once again aziraphale DIDN'T. DO. #ANYTHING. WRONG. yes he hurt crowley with his decision but CROWLEY HURT HIM WITH HIS TOO so if yall wants an apology dance it's gonna turn #into a waltz cause they'd both need to do it #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #go s2

[edenfenixblogs]

For a friend who wanted links to some posts I made about antisemitism, allyship, and how to support Palestine without being antisemitic—which is both possible and easy to do!

How do you know if you’re antisemitic?

How to be a good ally for Jewish people. I responded to a wonderful ask from @faggotry-enjoyer about how to be a better ally and to discuss Israel/Palestine with people who are inclined to distrust Jews due to unexamined antisemitism.

Important post about the dangers faced by Jews as an extreme minority. There are good examples in the reblogs and replies and tags—both of great ways for non-Jews to provide support as well as if antisemites denying their own antisemitism. Therese even one example of ways Jews can and do disagree with each other while remaining respectful without delving into antisemitism OR Islamophobia OR denying the rights and dignity of Palestinians. Jews can do this and so can non-Jews. But that can’t happen if people hate us too much to listen to anything we have to say.

The emotional toll of antisemitism on Jewish people.

Example of the death threats we get that are designed to make us look like bad guys.

If Jews can learn about the Holocaust in detail before we even reach the age of ten, you can and should too.

Don’t trust people who rely on bad sources. People do make genuine mistakes. Here’s an example of bad faith link sharing. Especially when Reblogging things. Even I don’t have time to always check every source in a post. Also, it’s possible that a link seemed legitimate when it was originally posted but the source is either no longer trustworthy or the OP got better at assessing sources. If an error in their original sourcing is pointed out, they should correct it publicly. If they are sharing a link as an OP they should always take time to be as responsible as possible.

There are plenty more posts under my #leftist antisemitism tag to look into about a variety of ways that antisemitism manifests in left wing circles.

Allies, please reblog with any posts you think relevant for a someone new to dismantling their antisemitism.

#antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #media literacy #master post #resources #Jewish goyim solidarity #israel #frequently referenced #start here #jewish palestinian solidarity

[imaginesmai]

Something new - Azriel

Another kinktober fic! I've seen this trope SO MUCH lately, I couldn't help myself.

Plot: Azriel proposes something new, and even if you have doubts, you're all in.

Warnings: just porn , facesitting, shadowplay.

Azriel is looking at you with a raised brow, a smug smile on his face. He’s silently daring you to bring up another argument, only so he can dismantle it as easily as the rest of them.

It’s hard enough to deny his petition. Not only it’s unusual for him to ask anything, to be comfortable enough around you to talk about sexual fantasies and desires. It is hard because he is completely naked. You can spend hours staring at his sculped chest, muscles hard and wide, covered in tattoos.

And you don’t even want to drag your eyes lower, where his cock is standing tall, demanding your attention.

Usually, you would be more than happy to give it all the attention you have. But Azriel has stopped you moments ago and proposed something different. Something you have never tried, although it has crossed your mind sometimes. Multiple times, actually.

“I will be fine” he assures you for the sixth time that evening. “I promise, darling. I’m a trained warrior, I push my body each day to the limit in the ring with Cassian. If I can take down Illyrian warriors, I can hold your weight”

“Or not” you rebate. “You can’t compare sparing to Cassian to me sitting on your face”

“Certainly not, I’m sure it will be far more pleasant”

Sex with Azriel is never monotonous, he makes sure of it. Even if the shadowsinger is an introvert and quiet on the outside, inside the bedroom he shows you a different part of him. You are used to playing games, some of them involving his shadows, ropes, and even wax.

You have enjoyed each and every of them, and you know you will enjoy what he is proposing even more. But still, you are doubtful about it.

“I could hurt you without meaning to. And what if you can’t breathe? How am I supposed to notice?” you repeat the questions, and he just blinks unamused. “We don’t know if it’s safe. Maybe someone has died and no one has reported it. Death by asphyxiation, under mysterious circumstances. Maybe their partner was shoving their – “

“What better way to die than between your legs?” Azriel cuts you off with a deep, loud chuckle. Tired of the banter, he grabs your hand and pushes you forward. “My shadows will make sure I live to do this again, don’t worry. Now let me have my dessert”

Any other time, you hope, you would have been more hesitant. But you have been both naked for a long time now, lazily making out and grinding against each other in bed. There are purple spots all over your neck and chest, where Azriel has been buried minutes ago. And your nails are printed all over his back and ass.

Before you can act on your newest fantasy, Azriel brings you close. He presses his lips against yours, as he has done already a thousand times that night.

They are swollen and soft, his hand holding the back of your head to keep you close. It brushes gently your hair, easing your worries away. His tongue traces the edge of yours, as if he hasn’t almost shoved it down your throat an hour ago.

Azriel eases the both of you until you are laying on his chest, wings sprawled under him. All it takes is for your sneaky fingers tracing the membrane of his left one for him to break the kiss.

His left hand gives you a playful smack on your ass and pushes you forward.

“Come on, Y/N” he growls, his shadows pushing you forward too.

“Let me know if it becomes too much” you remind him as you get to your knees.

“Sure”

“And if I’m too heavy, please don’t die” you place your hands on the headboard.

“I won’t die, I promise”

“If you feel like you can’t breathe, you touch my – “

“Get here”

You are still hesitant, hovering over his face with your knees at either side of his head. But Azriel, who has quite patient, doesn’t let you finish. He grips the top of your thighs and pulls down, his shadows fixing your hands on the headboard so you can’t pull yourself up.

And damn.

Any coherent thought leaves your head as he licks a long strip through your soaked folds, parting them without any care. You suck a breath when he reaches your opening and doesn’t stop for a second before digging in.

His shadows are the only thing cold on your body as you almost melt against his face, not caring anymore about asphyxiation or crushing him. Azriel is griping you so hard that there will be purple fingerprints on your legs the next day. And if the shadows holding you in place and his mouth devouring you isn’t enough, one of his hands gropes a handful of your ass and pulls you closer to him.

“You’re so sweet” Azriel mumbles from under you, his teeth grazing your clip and taking a deep moan out of you. “Coul be here all day”

“Az”

“My sweet pussy”

He isn’t possessive, at least not when you are public. Behind closed doors, he owns your body and soul. Your grip on the headboard almost flatters when he sucks hard on your clit, taking the small button between his lips, brushing his tongue underneath.

All you can smell is him, his arousal, and all you can hear is him lapping your juices. You don’t have to look back to know there’s a hand wrapped around his cock, a hand that isn’t his entirely. His shadows must have touched a sensitive spot, because his body is bucking up and you almost fall to the side, if it wasn’t for his hands holding you in place.

You try to get one hand free. Maybe to pull at his hair, to cover your mouth. Azriel doesn’t let you.

“Let me – I need a hand” you moan again when he starts leaving kisses from your clit to your opening, covering any reachable spot. “Azriel, let me go”

“No”

His voice resonates in your cunt and that is almost enough to bring you close to the edge. Only his presence would be enough, the presence of an Illyrian male that falls on his knees in front of you, that is completely yours.

Azriel knows your body and knows you’re close, so instead of letting go of any of your hands, he speeds up. All you feel are his teeth, his lips and his tongue on your pussy, on your folds, on your clit. He rounds the sensitive spot as the shadows rip a moan out of him, and the next second he has his tongue in you, his nose brushing your clit.

Like a madman who hasn’t eaten in days, he devours you whole. You are almost sure he has stopped breathing a while ago, but before you can make sure he’s fine, you’re cumming.

Without your hand to cover your mouth, anyone within hearing range hears you breaking down screaming his name as you cum on his face. He rides through your orgasm without even changing the pace, and black dots appear on your line of sight.

“Az, I can’t – Azriel, stop –“

He doesn’t, and before you know it, your tights are trapping his head between your legs and you’re having the best orgasm of your life. He continues licking any juice that leaves your body, alternating between eating you out and assaulting your clit.

The shadows let go when there’s nothing left in you to give, and Azriel has barely time to catch you as you fall to the side, completely spent.

He manages to pull you back to him, and when you open your eyes again, you’re met with his hazel ones looking down at you with only love and adoration. His lips and chin are shinning with your juices, and without breaking eye contact, he licks them clean.

It’s certainly enough to make you notice the shadows around his shaft.

“I’m alive” Azriel smirked. “Are you?”

“That was the best orgasm of my life”

Your confession drags an ego boost out of him, that you feel through the bond. You smile when his hand finds your cheek and caress it loving. If you asked, you are sure he would turn around and try to sleep with a painful boner. And if you asked, he would totally use his shadows to keep you up and go for a second round.

Before he can propose any of them, you prop up on your elbow and drag your nails down his chest.

They follow the pattern of his tattoos, and he watches you with a raised eyebrow. His expression quickly changes when your fingers find his nipple, your thumb flickering it gently.

“Return the favor?” you propose, with a knowing smile.

The next thing you know, Azriel’s lips are once more on you and his cock pressed against your stomach.

You’re in for a long night.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

#azriel #azriel x reader #azriel one shot #azriel imagine #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #azriel x you #kinktober #imaginesmai #imagines mai #imagine mai #x reader #fic #smut #azriel shadowsinger #acotar #acotar imagine #acotar one shot #acotar x reader #acotar x your

[aroaessidhe]

Queerplatonic book recs, that actually have QPRs, inspired by me seeing someone listing qpr books that were literally just queer people being friends 🤦‍♀️

These all have the main characters in queerplatonic relationships,  explicitly and/or unambiguously in most cases.

The Thread That Binds

solarpunk-fantasy about queer bookbinding witches, 2/3 MCs are an aroace & an ace in a QPR

Baker Thief

superhero fantasy with a bigender aromantic superhero / demisexual woman QPR 

Not Even Bones

YA supernatural trilogy where the main characters initially seem to be developing a romantic relationship, but eventually realise neither actually feel that way, and settle into more or less a QPR (without labels, but it’s pretty clear)

Two Dark Moons

YA fantasy where an arospec girl & ace lizard kid accidentally get fantasy-married & develop a friendship/qpr

The Wolf Among The Wild Hunt

dark fantasy novella with an aroace wolfman & nonbinary knight qpr

Our Bloody Pearl

NA fantasy with a siren & ace pirate, originally marketed as a romance, but it is pretty much a qpr and that’s what the author intended!

The Reckless Kind

historical YA with an aspec girl becoming a family with her best friend and his boyfriend

Fire Becomes Her

YA, 1920s inspired fantasy world, demiro girl breaks free of her relationship and instead ends up in a QPR with a nonbinary transmasc ace.

If It Makes You Happy

YA contemporary about a girl navigating her queerplatonic relationship with her best friend, and a possible new romantic relationship.

Royal Rescue

high fantasy with an amatonormative royal marriage system, where the aroace MC has had enough, rescues himself, and starts to dismantle the system, finding a QPR on the way

The Heretic’s Guide To Homecoming (duology)

slow introspective high fantasy following two characters on a journey, doesn’t explicitly have them define their relationship in a QPR-like way, but undeniably focuses on complex platonic relationships and narratives

Mindtouch

this is one that’s been on my tbr forever - a sort of cozy/slice of life sci-fi that centres a platonic relationship between two aliens, which is quite reminiscent of a QPR. apparently there’s like 5 books now, I’ve only read the first so far!

Archivist Wasp / Firebreak

honorable mention because it’s not explicitly a qpr - but all of the author’s works focus on platonic m/f relationships in a very aspec way, and have absolutely no romance anywhere. one of the central relationships is very much platonic soulmates/ qpr vibes (postapoc ghosty sci-fi/fantasy YA & dystopian anticapitalism)

#queerplatonic books #aromantic books #aromantic #ace week #laya talks

[ja3yun]

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY pt.3

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings: suggestive (smut-ish flashback), angst, lost love, pet names, not many warnings tbf, and not proofread. anything I missed please lmk!

wc: 10.3k+ (honestly, i need to make these shorter)

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. however, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

part 1 | part 2 | part 4

a/n: hi! I'm giving you this chapter kinda quickly. heavy appearances from my wjsn ults because they are now integral to the story <3 will update the next part during the week

4 years have passed since you left. No contact with your family, sometimes opting to send them a Christmas card with no return address just to let them know you’re alive. You missed them like crazy, more than any words could explain. It had been so long sometimes you wonder if you should go back, even for your mum’s birthday but it would be too awkward. The dramatic teen you left behind is who they knew you as, not the woman you’ve grown up to be. 

College changed you dramatically, for the better you like to hope. Your roommate Eunseo quickly became your other half, showing you the ropes of Avanti, Being a year older than you she was accustomed to the college, she picked you up when you needed it the most and she didn’t even have to. You thought she took pity on you at first, just taking you under her wing because you were a crying dismantled mess. But she was simply just the loveliest person in the whole world. You wouldn’t have made it to today without her. She left college last year and got a job close by so you saw her often and you were thankful for her every day. 

Throughout your college experience you did the typical; study, party, make questionable life choices at said parties. But one thing you couldn’t do was get into a relationship. 

You started hooking up with guys in your second year, just flings and one-night stands. Eunseo supported your habits, “I will always support women's rights and also their wrongs” she used to say every time you pre-gamed and she never asked why you didn’t get into a relationship. 

Jaeyun’s name hadn’t left your lips in 1460 days. A choice that you made as soon as you stepped off the bus in Pyeongchang. Jaeyun’s name also hadn't left your mind in 1460 days. Every touch from another felt wrong, every chat up line, every unwarranted dick pic. It wasn’t him so it didn’t matter to you. 

You started to enjoy yourself more as time went on, creating a new friend group and new memories. By the final year of college, you were content with your life, finding a degree in film was a fluke but you ended up loving every bit of it, an internship was on the horizon at HYBE Media to shadow a music video producer, your hair routine finally working out. Everything was coming up Y/N. This was the right choice. 

Yet you still thought about Jaeyun every day. What was he up to? Did he like living in Busan? Was he with someone else? Granted you don’t like to think about that last one too often or else you get a tightness in your chest. You wanted him to be happy but selfishly you didn’t want to know if that happiness was because of someone else. 

“Helloooo, Y/N, are you even listening?” Eunseo’s hand waves across your face as you come back from your zoned-out state, “Tell me what I just said.” She huffs and crosses her legs and arms, sitting back knowingly. Eunseo had invited you to a coffee date in a quaint little shop outside of your university. She originally introduced it to you on your second day here and it became your favourite spot. Laughing, crying, and hungover, you both occupied this little shop as if it were your second home.

You smile guilty and laugh, “You were talking about how much you love me and that we should get married,” you shrug and tilt your head jokingly.

“Weirdly you are close!” Her pointer finger is now in front of your face as she leans forward quickly in a flash. 

“I was?” You gave an incredulous look with one eyebrow raised.

“Yes! It has to do with marriage.” Her hands gesture an arch that can only remind you of the one SpongeBob imagination meme and you giggle. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re marrying Serim after like 2 dates.” You half joke and half panic, it wouldn’t be unlike her to do something like that and you both know it. Eunseo takes in your expression and slaps the table loudly and laughs. If there was one thing your best friend wasn’t good at it’s being quiet, and you love her so much for it.

“I like him a lot, but no. Actually, it's about my sister. You know she’s getting married?” You nod, sipping your coffee, “Well of course I’m the maid of honor,” she lifts the back of her hands and twinkles them under her chin and you chuckle, “Someone dropped out and there is a spare seat. Yeoreum is a freak and needs it filled for everything ‘to go as planned’”

You had never met any of Eunseo’s family, they lived a few hours away and despite the effort Eunseo made to invite you to every family gathering, even Christmas, you declined not wishing to be a burden. “I want you to come. I checked your schedule and you’re free, I have a dress, I’m driving us up,” she keeps rhyming off every reason you have ever given her to bail on traveling with her, “and you owe me one.”

Furrowing your eyebrows and tilting your head you encourage her to continue, owe her for what? “Well you don’t owe me yet but I heard the best man is single, older than you, and has these gorgeous big eyes. I’ll set you both up.”

“So I owe you for something that hasn’t even happened yet? And you don’t even know if he is interested? Or single?”

“Details, details.” Eunseo’s hand waves dismissively, “Please just come. I want you to meet my family since you don’t have any of your own. Think of my family as yours.” 

Eunseo doesn’t know what happened back home. You never told her you didn’t have a family but that you were just estranged from them, never disclosing details, particularly that the reason you don’t go home is your own fault, she didn’t have to know. Eunseo didn’t know anything, not about Jaeyun, nothing at all and yet she didn’t pry into your past. You were so thankful for her.

“Eunseo,” rejection is on the tip of your lips but she’s pouting, her eyes big as she does her best to look cute, and to your dismay it works, “I’d love to come.” The sun suddenly started to shine and burn your skin as its light lay on you through the window.

“Amazing!” clapping her hands rapidly she giggles, “We’re leaving tomorrow.” 

Your eyes expand and she stands up not letting you protest at how soon the wedding is. “I thought she wasn’t getting married until Saturday?” You query and check your phone which reads Monday. 

Walking out she explains, “Yeah but I need to be there early for final fittings, yadda yadda, boring wedding stuff. So I’m taking you with me. Either that or you drive up yourself.” The glint in her eyes as she turns to you makes your face deadpan.

“Fuck you, you know I can’t drive.” She laughs and grabs your hand. 

“And I still don’t understand how you’re 23 and can’t even ride a go-kart without crashing.” Playfully you hit her arm and laughed, a memory of you and her go-karting painted your brain. After that, you never got behind another wheel. 

___________

You arrive at Eunseo’s parents' house and your jaw slacks open. It’s bigger than any house you’ve ever seen. Your best friend joked a lot about being rich but you didn’t know she was rich rich. There are stairs leading to a giant white door that compliments the ash-coloured stones that surround it. Moss is growing up on each side of the home with intentionally placed pink flowers decorating throughout. Those rich bitch houses are so ugly, I want as small a house as possible so I’m always close to you no matter what room I’m in. His voice plays in your head but you shake him out.

Her parents are graciously letting you and her stay in the spare bedrooms, you don’t dare ask how many rooms are actually in this castle. Something about the air feels strangely familiar. You shrug it off and head inside with your blue suitcase and steamed dress. You curse rich people for having so many stairs.

“My baby!” Eunseo’s dad shouts from the door, “How is my sweet angel?” He greets her at the top of the stairs and hugs her tightly. You miss your dad a lot. His comforting words, his piggyback rides, his weird cinnamon body wash that made you despise the spice, you missed it all. “This must be Y/N! It only took 4 years to meet you.” His chest lets out a deep laugh as he hugs you just as tightly as his own daughter. A smile plasters on your face as you hug him with one arm, the other outstretched to protect the dress. 

“Thank you for having me. It’s an honour to be part of your daughter’s big day.” Eunseo’s dad’s eyes turn to crescent moons as he smiles and steps aside to usher you into the big house. 

“The party is in a few hours. The happy couple aren’t here, running last-minute chores but you’ll meet them tonight.” He turns to you and points up the stairs, “Eunseo will show you where to get changed. If you need anything, me and the wife will be hovering around.” You side-eye Eunseo quickly and she smiles widely. She didn’t tell you about a party. 

Bowing slightly you thank him and follow Eunseo who is squealing, shouting about how excited she is for you to meet everyone. Sometimes you wonder if she is the relationship you’ve been seeking after Jaeyun, platonic or not, you love her all the same. 

A few hours later you hear bustling from the crowd gathered down the stairs, the party in full swing as Eunseo finishes curling a wispy strand of your hair. Glancing up at her you notice how beautiful she truly is; her bangs falling effortlessly to frame her face, her lips plump and naturally pouty, she was flawless. 

“If you keep staring I’ll literally take you on the bed.” She smiles and you laugh. Pouting her lips near your face she pretends to kiss you and you play into it. Life is so easy with her. “Go get changed, I need to see my masterpiece completed.” Walking away she picks up the dress and thrusts it into your chest, “You’re gonna look amazing. That babe of a best man is gonna fall at your feet.  Now go.” she shoos you into the ensuite bathroom.

Staring in the mirror you analyse her work on your face and hair. Never in your life have you ever looked so beautiful and you can’t help but stare. You shed your old life behind you yet this is the first time you really felt like you were reborn. The immature you left behind, the 23-year-old staring in the mirror coming up from the ashes.

Unzipping the garment bag you see the dress Eunseo picked for you and you gasp. Its a silky deep red dress. Far too sexy for something like this.

“Um, Eunseo? This dress is…” You hold it against you and observe what it would look like on you. Hot. That’s exactly how it would look and considering this was the first time meeting a whole family of someone dear to you, you’d rather be more covered up than this.

“Shut up it’s hot. My cousins will be wearing something way sluttier so it’s all good.” Her nonchalant tone doesn’t ease you but it’s either this or the dress she got you for the actual wedding. 

As you adorn the dress you notice how it fits you perfectly and hugs you in at the waist flatteringly. It’s been months since you’ve put something on this beautiful. Your cleavage is out just enough, the material stops at your mid-thighs, and you feel like a beauty queen. As you take yourself in your hand goes up to your necklace. That necklace. The gold of the sun complimented the dress perfectly. You never did bring yourself to take it off.

Opening the door you see Eunseo changed into a pastel blue dress, covering her arms and neck but cut out to leave her chest exposed just enough, a slit runs up her thigh. Your jaw is on the floor as she walks over and eyes you up and down. “Look at you! A literal goddess.” she smiles as she takes your hands. “You ready to upstage my sister at her own engagement party?”

“Eunseo…you did not pick these outfits to stand out on purpose did you?” Suddenly your heart is beating quickly and the urge to change is more than ever. 

“Of course not! We’re just hotter than anyone here, including her.” She laughs and hands you the pair of gold heels you eyed up as she unpacked her bags earlier. They were exactly your style. “Take these and put them on. Literally take them off whenever but for the grand entrance you need to be complete” She used her right hand to motion over your body. 

Putting the shoes on you grew about 4 inches taller and were on Eunseo’s eye level now. “Ready to rock this bitch?” You nod and she grabs your arm, dragging you down the stairs.

There are eyes on you everywhere and you can’t lie, it is a little uncomfortable considering the age range of the men staring are in their late 50s. It's a party like you’ve only seen in movies; waiters walk around with Hors D’oeurves and flutes of expensive champagne. You start to wonder how much all this cost and if you could convince someone at this party to pay off your student loan. 

“Hey Eunseo?” You grab her attention as she hands you a glass of bubbly happily, “I just realised I don’t know Yeoreum’s fiance’s name.” 

“Oh,” She laughs loudly and slaps your arm, “It’s Jaeyun.” Your heart stops for a moment, there are lots of Jaeyun’s in Korea. Jaeyun from TO1 could walk through that door for all you knew. “Jake is what he goes by though.” Your heart drops rapidly. There might be a lot of Jaeyuns but none that also go by Jake. Part of you wishes it was the biggest coincidence in the world but as voices fill the archway into the living room where you and your best friend reside you see Yeoreum, more beautiful than any picture Eunseo showed you could capture, and Jaeyun. Your Jaeyun.

Static is all you hear as you watch him greet guests and thank them for coming, and each footstep closer to you has your mouth going moist, ready to vomit. He hasn’t noticed you and if you had control of your body you would be bolting out the door instantly, but your mind has glued your feet to the floor. You take him, his face more defined than his previous squishy state, he’s wearing a fitted black suit blazer with no shirt underneath and matching wide-leg black trousers, and his hair is slicked back with stray pieces falling around his face. He looks expensive. He looks like the home you once knew.

You see Eunseo talking to you but as your eyes meet his, that static you once heard turns into rapid heartbeats. Your body is flushing with heat as you notice how his eyes widen for a second, his body turns to you instinctively.

“Eunseo!” Yeoreum squeals and shuffles quickly to give her sister an all-consuming hug, just like you want to do to Jaeyun right now. “Jakey come here” she beacons her fiance towards the both of you and without blinking or taking his eyes off you he walks cautiously forward. “You must be Y/N? Eunseo talks about you all the time.” 

She’s lovely. Gorgeous, clearly kind, she’s perfect just like her sister and it makes you want to cry. She’s perfect for him.

Plastering a smile on your face you fake glee as you hug her lightly, stealing another glance at Jaeyun while she can’t see you. He might have gotten older but those eyes still looked the same. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you pull away and step back, sole focus on his bride, “Congratulations.” It's bitter and you say it quickly.

“Aw thank you!” She beams and you feel like being sick again. 

“Excuse me, I’m going to go to the restroom, I’ll be right back.” You excuse yourself and rush past the couple and Eunseo leaving a gust of air behind you. Clutching your chest you run upstairs for an escape. Out of all the best friend’s sister’s fiances, how was he the one you were faced with? Pushing the guest room door open you scuttle in and take a few deep breaths reliving the moments just before.

“Y/N?” The Australian accent hits you hard as you turn around and meet his eyes. It takes only seconds before his hands have cupped your face and his body dangerously presses against yours, so close you can feel his heart, a heart that used to beat only for you.

“Baby,” he pauses as his eyes search your face trying to convince himself that you aren’t a dream, “where did you go?” Jaeyun desperately whines, his voice cracking in sadness as his forehead touches yours. There is love laced within the melancholic question. Instinctively your hands grab his wrists as you close your eyes. “Princess, please talk to me. '' He's pleading, begging for any explanation. Jaeyun’s hands go from your cheeks and trace down your shoulders, his eyes scanning every inch of your face in desperation. He doesn’t believe you’re real and in front of him, your face is more mature yet still the same girl he loves even after all these years. 4 years he’s waited for you to come back to him.

Your silence and shallow breathing urge him to ask more questions, his thumbs stroking the area between the base of your neck and collarbone. “What happened?”

“You’re engaged.”  The first words out of your mouth take him aback. His mouth stays open, his hands leaving your body leaving you cold, and shivering. “She seems nice-”

“Don’t do that,” His bottom jaw slowly clenching as he speaks, “Please don’t act fine like this. Don’t make it seem like I’m the only one that’s hurting for us right now.” You sob without tears as you see him vulnerable and eyes beseeching. Jaeyun’s hands point to you before coming together in a praying motion, “I looked for you everywhere. I spent months trying to find you.” Deep down you knew he would have looked for you, but not for months, maybe for a couple of weeks before he left for Busan, but never months, “What did I do?”

Without a beat, you respond, “Nothing. You could never do anything.” 

“You don’t just abandon people you love, Y/N. Not us. There had to be something I did to make you fall out of lov-”

“Jake!” You hear a familiar voice shout and your head falls down to stare at your shoes. 

“Baby please,” Jaeyun wants to hold you, kiss you, understand what happened but he can’t. Not right now. 

“You should go, I’ll leave in the morning-”

“Don’t leave me again, baby, please.” His voice is quiet, despair etched within his tone. His eyes fall on your necklace, the necklace that he gifted you. His eyes trail down to properly take you in and if he wasn’t astounded before by your mere presence he was now, “You look so beautiful, just like always.”

“Jake your dad is gonna make a speech-” Heeseung's voice bellows throughout the room and yet you and Jaeyun don’t take your eyes off each other. As Heeseung walks in he freezes at the sight of you. Over the years Heeseung silently forgave you, seeing his best friend move on with Yeoreum brought him some solace when he thought about what you did to Jaeyun, but now the anger that was dissipated through time is bubbling up again, “Y/N? What the fuck are you doing here?” His tone is surprised more than angry, but you can tell he’s fuming.

You don’t dare look at him. 

“You should get back to your engagement party." Nothing but a whisper as it comes out. You’ve lost him as quickly as you got him back. You did this, and now you need to deal with the consequences. Brushing past him and Heeseung you make your way back to Eunseo ignoring his hand that grazed your wrist in an attempt to stop you.

His family was here, his friends, people from your past that you wanted to forget. The pressure was starting to become too much as you rushed down the stairs before colliding with someone, “I’m sorry.” You bow quickly.

“Y/N?” Mr. Sim’s voice quips in astonishment, “What are you doing here?” His head comes down so his eyes are level with yours, “What-” He has no words, looking at the girl he thought was going to marry his son. 

“Mr. Sim, It’s nice to see you again” You bow but still avoid eye contact. “I’m sure you’re proud of Jaeyun.” 

“Darling, we thought something awful happened to you.” The sincerity in his voice made you look up at him, heartache carved in your features “Your mum and dad haven’t stopped worrying about you.” A hand is placed on your shoulder and as you look down you see Eunseo.

“Girl there you are! You took one long bathroom break.” She laughs and bows to Mr. Sim, “Ready for your speech, Sir?” Mr. Sim looks at you inquisitively before returning Eunseo’s bow.

“I’ve been preparing this speech for years, only some minor tweaks.” His eyes find yours and you start to think maybe he’s hinting towards the speech he would have given at Jaeyun and your engagement party. “Better head.” Lips forming a tight smile he descends the stairs. 

His words circle your brain. You understood your parents would worry but all of these years you never had to face it, not until your past was being pushed onto you. Eunseo takes your hand and pulls you to the dining area where people are gathered to make speeches and say their congratulations. 

Jaeyun strolls in behind Heeseung, his hands in his pockets before he notices his soon-to-be wife and wraps one arm around her. Tears threaten to spill as you watch the loving action. That should have been you. You should be marrying him, taking his second name, being his everything.

A fork clinks with a wine glass as Mr. Sim starts his speech. “Thank you everyone for coming. I will make this short considering I’m sure you’re all sick of us talking, especially when there is a free bar.” the people occupying the room laugh loudly and you see Yeoreum smile up at Jaeyun. It killed you but like always you put a smile on your face, “My son, he’s always been someone to wear his heart on his sleeve, always giving one hundred percent of himself to the person he loves,” Mr. Sims eyes fall on you and you feel like the speech is somehow directed to you, “Jaeyun deserves to have someone who loves him unconditionally, without prejudice, without pride, and always with his best interest in mind. I believe he’s found that.” 

Crushed. Your heart can’t take the rest of the speech as you walk out of the room and bolt for the entrance of the house. Heaving your chest to gasp for air you feel yourself clutching at your chest, if you hadn’t had a panic attack before in your life you would have thought you were having a heart attack. You breathe out harshly, gasping for air as you lean on the banister. Someone comes up behind you and places a hand on your shoulder gently. 

You hear muffled words but don’t take anything in as the figure guides you to sit on the steps, their hands rubbing your arms to keep you warm.

“Breathe for me, Y/N. He He Hoo or whatever.” You follow the words and inhale two breaths sharply and exhale extendedly. “That’s it.”

Your vision starts to come into focus as you see Heeseung in front of you, his Bambi eyes soft as his thumbs rub circles into your upper arms, “Keep doing that for me, okay?” He’s always been so kind to you, that you want to cry and he notices, “Hey, look at me, Y/N. Tell me about that band you used to like way back when.” Heeseung is trying to distract you but your brain is fuzzy and tears are rolling down your face, “The one with that rapper Jaeyun was always jealous of because you had him as your lock screen?"

“Monsta X?” you breathe out and he smiles lightly.

“Yeah, tell me about them. Are they still together?” His hands leave your arms as he discards his jacket from his body and wraps it around you.

Nodding you start to answer his question, “Yeah, they’re still together.” You sniffle and feel your heart start to slow down and breathe at ease, “Most of them are in the military now.” Your lips naturally form into a pout as you think about your favourite band being separated, not being whole until 2027.

“Sucks doesn’t it? I felt the same about ONF.” He laughs and so do you, letting out a singular sob as you do so.

“I didn’t mean to come here, Hee. Her sister is my best friend.” His eyes go wide and then looks down, his hands finding their way to your knees. 

“Y/N, you can’t be here. He finally moved on.” There is a pleading intertwined with sorrow in his voice and you slowly nod. “He’s happy.”

“Heeseung?” Jaeyun’s voice pierces through you, the warmth from Heeseung’s jacket becoming null as goosebumps prickle your skin. “Can I talk with her?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, man.” They’re talking like you aren’t even there and a part of this too yet your voice is too weak to speak up and share your thoughts. Tension is looming in the air as Heeseung gives the man you love a stern stare, but Jaeyun has always been stubborn when it comes to you. If he can’t talk to you now he will find a way. However, for now, at least, Jaeyun listens to his best man, and with one more glace to your fragile body he heads back to his party. It hurts him to see you like this, he wants nothing more than to swoop you up and take you in his arms like he used to all those years ago.

The party continues as you head back in making your way to the guest bedroom, giving excuses to those asking simply saying you’re tired from travelling. You miss him being yours. That was the real exhaustion.

________

The party ended a couple of hours ago, the once loud and busy foyer now dark as you tip-toe down the stairs, heedful to not wake anyone up. It’s 5 am when you awake dying of thirst and decide to leave the comfy double bed of the guest bedroom and get a glass of water. Looking around you see empty wine glasses, a few smashed ones lined up on the long table just beside the stair banister. It truly was a magnificent party and in any other circumstance, you would have had a great time. Yeoreum’s family is lovely and welcoming it’s no wonder they have so many friends, and no wonder Jaeyun fell in love with her and fit so perfectly as her soon-to-be husband. 

A leak of light bleeds from the kitchen and you presume an under-unit lamp is still on but as your feet scuffle into the kitchen you see a broad back staring at you. Taking in the figure you notice their blue and yellow checked pajama bottoms and casual black t shirt evidently not intended to be worn together but clearly the first thing they could find. 

A creak sounds from under you alerting them of your presence causing them to whip around. Jaeyun. One of his eyes was shut indicating he was not long up himself, his dark hair fluffy and tussled but still slightly in place due to the remnants of styling wax. He takes your breath away every time.

“Hi.” You whisper and make your way to the fridge. Heeseung was right, it wasn’t a good idea to speak to each other. When you saw Jaeyun again after all these years you thought he would be mad, scream at you to get out, seething in hate, but that was never who Jaeyun was. Instead, you felt his love shooting through you and that was the dangerous part.

“It’s late.” His eyes never leave you as he watches you pour a glass of filtered water. 

“Or early.” You shrug and lean against the unit not daring to look at him. “I guess it depends on whether you went to sleep or not.” you mumble, small talk never being your thing. 

Jaeyun still feels like he’s in a dream. Your presence is haunting yet he hasn’t felt more at home. Just the simplicity of you being in this kitchen is enough for him to experience contentment he hasn’t felt in years. Not since then. 

“When did you get engaged?” The question punches him slap-bang in the middle of his chest, the wind escaping his body. 

With his head hanging low and his middle finger tracing his coffee mug he muttered, “ A few months ago.” to which you nodded and pursed your lips. “What about you?” he questions back, “you seeing anyone?”

“No.” It’s sharp and direct but you don’t want to touch on the subject any further, you didn’t want to accidentally divulge that you couldn’t get over him, not when he was sitting afore you an engaged man. It’s embarrassing.

Jaeyun sucks in a breath and holds it as if he was going to say something but in his hesitance, you speak up again. “Eunseo, she’s my best friend.” giving the information as a way to explain why you’re here. “I didn’t know it was you getting married to Yeoreum, I promise.” Your eyes are begging for him to look at you so he can see the sincerity in your words but he never does, opting to just nod slowly. “I’ll make up an excuse to get out of here before the wedding.”

“Why did you leave, Y/N?” Jaeyun’s voice is soft but laced with hurt, “Tell me why because for 4 fucking years I still haven’t been able to figure it out.” 

No words come out of your mouth, instead, you bite your lip trying to pluck up courage, suddenly the idea of him looking at you made you uncomfortable but of course, now his eyes are on you. “You owe me that much.”

“I-,” You place the glass of water down and grip the counter behind you tightly, “I…I didn’t get into any colleges that I applied for, none near Busan. Only one accepted me but it was a few hours away.” His eyebrows are crossed in confusion as he asks, “What do you mean? I thought you only applied for ones near Apollo. We had planned-”

“My grades weren’t good enough to get into any colleges in Busan.” There is a slight venom in your tone but it’s not directed at him but rather yourself. “If I had told you I wasn’t going with you, I was scared you would give up your dream school and just fuck it all off to be with me.” You finally look at him and the confusion is dispelling from his face as you continue, “You said it yourself, you would have gone anywhere if it meant being with me. I couldn’t ask you to do that. I would live with the guilt every day, watching you attend a subpar college all because of me. I loved you Jaeyun I couldn’t do that to you.” 

Jaeyun doesn’t miss the past tense usage of ‘love’ but he rewinds, “So you left our relationship because…it would be long distance?” 

“Jaeyun it wasn’t just that, I did think about long distance but I knew you would grow at college without me, i kept thinking about what you said. The whole slowly breaking away from each other because we become different people stuff got in my head and I couldn’t bear to slowly lose you, so I-”

“So you thought leaving me without a word was the right way to go? Y/N we could have worked it out, we would have figured out a solution.” Jaeyun stands up and walks over to you, “I didn’t mean to pressure you into moving, or applying for the same college, or fuck even making you doubt our chances at long distance.” His hand naturally caresses your cheek as you let a tear slip.

Shaking your head you look up at him, “I was stupid and I didn’t want you to worry about me, you already had so much going on between work and school. But look, you went to college and you grew up, look at what you have.” Your hands gesture upstairs to where Yeoreum sleeps peacefully unaware of what is transpiring in her parent’s kitchen.

“We could have had this Y/N. You could be the one I’m marrying if you just let me look after you like a boyfriend is supposed to if you trusted me enough.”

“I did trust you.”

“Not enough to tell me what was going on when I gave you that ring. Y/N-” He huffs out loudly and drags a hand through his hair. “That should have been your opening to talk to me about all this. I love you so much I would have made long-distance work.” His deep eyes are searching into yours. All these questions he has and you can’t answer or retaliate to any of them. “When I gave you that ring and made that promise to be yours forever I wasn’t fucking around okay? I meant it.” He lets out a dry laugh and takes your hands in his. “Baby, I love you.”

You stand too stunned to speak. Here Jaeyun was after all these years still hopelessly yours. An engaged Jaeyun was still in love with you. You want to let out a laugh of disbelief but you’re frozen. The room is silent except for the annoyingly loud hum of the refrigerator. 

Jaeyun notices how your eyes fall to his lips as he licks them wet, taking the opportunity to lean forward just enough that his breath hits yours. If your lips touch you no doubt know you won’t ever let him go. 

“Jaeyun…”

Footsteps are heard behind you both and you push Jaeyun away forcefully but despite the other presence making themselves known, his eyes never leave your tear-glassed ones. “Baby,” he whispers just loud enough for you to hear but you shake your head and barge past him, head down so the other person doesn’t see you. “Y/N?” Jaeyun calls out, reckless abandonment is telling him to chase after you but as he feels an arm stopping him to a halt he looks up and sees Heeseung. 

“Jake, don’t.”

________

Stirring in your sleep you groan as you hear a plethora of laughing coming from downstairs causing you to take the pillow from under you and suffocate your ears with it. After last night’s tragic events you just wanted to go home. Nothing would make you happier than to catch the first bus back to your flat and rewatch every episode of Fleabag to take your mind off of everything. Jaeyun was still in love with you and selfishly you hoped he hated you after what you did, that way your heart wouldn’t leap at every word he said. 

Baby, I love you

You shake the thought away and give in, sitting up and looking around the room. Eunseo is gone, probably downstairs being the reason for everyone’s laughter you think to yourself. With a huff, you pull the covers off your body and immediately feel the cold breeze causing you to shiver. You don’t know if it's a coincidence or not but as goosebumps rise on your legs and arms, Jaeyun’s laugh is heard over everyone else. You missed his laugh so much, your heart had a shot of pain pierce come on so suddenly. There was a glimmer of sun outside that made your necklace sparkle as you proceeded for the door.

It was as if your ears could only hear Jaeyun as you walked quietly down the stairs. “If it’s Yeoreum making him laugh I might kill myself.” you mutter, pulling your hair up in a pony. It’s dramatic but right now you can’t face to see them in love, it hurts. You’re hurting.

“Y/N! You’re awake!” Euneo stands up and scurries to the kitchen, grabbing a plate for you, “Mum just made breakfast.” 

“Hey! I helped.” Yeoreum faked offence which Eunseo simply rolled her eyes in response. She handed you the plate before you could tell her you weren’t hungry. “Sit down, Y/N, please.” Eunseo’s mum points to the empty chair at the comically large table, you suppose she does have a large family. 

Luckily for you, the seat was situated far enough away from Jaeyun that you could avoid him, unfortunately, you couldn’t avoid his eyes burning holes into the side of your face. You ignore him and scan the feast of food before you and you wonder if this is what it was like for Annie in Parent Trap when Chessy made a buffet of all her favourites. “Eat up, Y/N, there is plenty here.” Yeoreum and Eunseo’s mum says.

“Thanks, Mrs. Son.”  You pick up a few hash browns and start to eat one. That’s when you become aware of the enemy of all condiments, black pepper. It was a great tool in the kitchen, adding a little flavour and spice. Not for you though, the black powdered devil always makes your tongue itch. Who the fuck puts black pepper on hash browns? You think to yourself, face scrunching and teeth running along your tongue as you pour yourself a glass of water and take a huge swig. It does nothing at all so you go to excuse yourself to get a glass of juice or anything with taste but before you can there is a glass of apple juice placed beside you. Glancing up you see Jaeyun placing the cup with a knowing look on his face.

Of course, he knew. He knew everything about you and with the face you were pulling it was one he had seen too many times at restaurants.

“Why the fuck would they season their food with this, like, isn’t that what these are for?” You grabbed a pepper shaker and started waving it in his face. You had both gotten back from a day-turned-overnight trip to the beach and stopped off at a service station in the middle of nowhere, the diner was quaint with an American feel to it, undoubtedly your favourite kind.

“Princess I think your weird tongue is the only one that would complain.” Jaeyun laughed and swapped your eggs for his bacon. “There, now there is no pepper in sight.” He also passed over his apple juice with a bright smile.

“Take this.” His deep voice pulled you back to reality. Thanking him you take the cup and chug it quietly, but everyone's eyes are on you.

“You don’t like the food, Y/N?” Mrs. Son says not offended but certainly not pleased. Waving your hand quickly you swallow the liquid and explain, “No, it's lovely Mrs Son, me and pepper just don’t go well together.” 

Yeoreum looks at Jaeyun with furrowed brows but doesn’t question it. There is a massive part of him that knows he should have left you to deal with it yourself so as to not raise suspicion but his instincts kicked in. He takes Yeoreum’s hand and kisses the back of it tenderly. It stings your heart.

“So,” Mr Son claps his hands diverting the attention to him, “I thought since the whole wedding party is here we should get to know each other. We will be family once Saturday passes after all.” A groan comes softly from your right and you turn to see Heeseung with his eyes shut. 

“If he makes us play charades I’m passing my best man duties to literally anyone else.” He whispers to you which causes you to snort laugh and bite your mouth shut. You miss Heeseung’s smile as he watches you. He always did love you like a sister despite everything. He knew this situation wasn’t just hurting Jaeyun and after last night he was sure you were just as heartbroken as he was.

“We’re going to have a friendly game of football!”

“Dad, I can’t get bruised before my big day!” Yeoreum exclaims, her arms wrapped around her body to protect her from an imaginary ball flying at her. Jaeyun laughs and rubs her arms, “Reumie I don’t think your dad means you guys.” 

Heeseung’s hand lands on your shoulder as you watch the loving act. They did look good together you couldn’t lie about that. Their energy matched, they would make the most beautiful children to ever walk this earth, and even their sense of style was similar - casual but fashionable. 

“I was going to say 5 v 5, there are enough men here right?” Mr Son starts counting around the table as Heeseung slowly slides down the chair, his eyes hidden behind this hand as he pretends to rub his forehead. 

“I thought you liked football, Hee?” You whisper but he shakes his head violently. 

“Used to. I have since grown a great distaste for it, especially with Yeoreum’s cousins. They’re brutal and leave me bruised.” he mutters the last few words and you laugh leaning close.

“Aw is Hee scared of a little bruise.” He doesn’t appreciate your taunting yet he smiles and rolls his eyes. “You’re almost as good as Jaeyun, you can handle yourself I mean look.” You sneakily point to one of the cousins who is on his 3rd plate of food, “He’s going to be so full he can’t move, stick by him and you’ll look like Messi or something.”

Heeseung laughs out loud, “Oh! Heeseung I almost didn’t count you.” Mr Son claps, “That makes 10!”

Heeseung’s tongue pokes the side of his face as his rage-filled eyes look right into yours. You mouth a half-hearted ‘sorry’ and hold in a giggle. “I’ll kick the ball in your face.” He warns but you’re too busy chuckling to notice. 

Eunseo’s eyes meet yours with her eyebrows raised. Giving her a confused look you knit your eyebrows together to ask her what that look on her face is for but she simply smirks and looks at Heeseung. Fuck. You forgot that was her favour to you, to set you up with the dishy best man. Oh if only she knew. You and Heeseung were so out of this world impossible that you had to fight to hold in your laughter. 

“What’s so funny?” Heeseung whispers and his lips graze the shell of your ear. You quickly turn around and his face is incredibly close to yours. Eunseo must be loving this.

“Eunseo promised to set me up with the hot best man. That was my bribe to get me here.” A shallow laugh leaves his throat and he sits up, hands pointed to his chest.

“I am hot to be fair.” He jokingly smirks causing you to hit his chest playfully. “What? Do you not think so?” 

“I know so. It’s just how cocky you are about it all,” Heeseung’s lips part to say something but you stop him, “If you’re going to make a joke about your dick I don’t want to hear it, Hee.” he shuts his mouth instantly. You missed this just as much as you missed Jaeyun. The banter between you and your friends is what kept you from losing your mind most of your high school days, and right now it’s taking your mind off this ridiculous situation. 

“Eunseo tried it on with me once,” Heeseung says while eyeing her up and giving her a wave. 

“But she acted like she didn’t know you? When she brought you up it was as if she had never met you.” He scoffs as you recall the conversation in the cafe.

“I rejected her, she’s not my type. Plus, she wanted double dates all the time, and don’t get me wrong I love Jake and Yeoreum but they’re insufferable. Kinda like you and hi-” He halts himself mid-sentence and looks at you apologetically. “Sorry.” You wave it off and pretend it doesn’t hurt you to hear before he continues, “I probably shouldn’t say this but if it’s any consolation, he isn’t half as infatuated with her as he was you.” It does bring some solace but you try not to let it sit in your mind too long. 

“I’m not having a great time with it but at least he’s happy.” You mumble playing with your fingers and picking at the skin. Heeseung’s big hands encase your smaller ones as he squeezes them discreetly.

“You’ll always be his first love, just remember that. And who knows,” He leans back in his chair with that smug look on his face once again, “Your next love might be the hot best man.” 

Pinching the bridge of your nose you can’t help but laugh again. “Heeseung please shut up.”

While you and Heeseung were talking, none of you noticed Jaeyun staring purposefully as if his eyes could pry you two apart. He wasn’t jealous, no, he was just wishing he was with you both like old times, laughing with you as if no time had passed. Yeoreum strokes his arm lightly and looks up at him. “Jakey, you okay?” to which Jaeyun hums and turns to her, kissing her forehead lightly. “Never better, Reumie.” Lies but as his lips touch her head he remembers last night and how his lips felt like they had found their way home.

“Okay! Let’s go and get ready for a full day ahead. The game starts in an hour.” Mr Son’s voice bellowed throughout the dining area.

“Come on,” Heeseung takes your hand and leads you to the kitchen, “You’re eating something before you’re tormented by the whole aunt brigade.” Heeseung’s always been so sweet. Whoever ties him down is going to be the luckiest girl in the world.

__

The game had been on for 20 minutes and you can’t escape the daggers coming from Mrs. Sim across the table. Of course she’s mad, you hurt her precious baby boy, you completely understand but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable. She liked you a lot before everything went down, always treating you like her own but now it’s like her heart turned cold towards you, a contrast to her husband who seems to actually tolerate you enough to be civil. Meeting the Sim family again was beyond awkward but you were thankful none of them let on to the others about you and Jaeyun’s history. 

“My Jakey is so good at football. He said he used to play in high school.” Yeoreum gushes, her hands clasped beside her cheeks as she watches her fiance on the garden lawn.

“Yeah, he was the captain in high school. Almost got a scholarship but he didn't want to do that professionally.” You say and sip at your white wine and lemonade top. 

“How do you know he was captain?” The question comes from Eunseo and you nearly choke on the sweet wine. Shit 

“Yes Y/N, how do you know?” Mrs. Sim quips and you want to die. You look over at the men on the field and panic trying to find any rhyme or reason you would know that information. Maybe I should put on a strip and join them, a ball to the face would be less painful. 

“Oh, um, me and Jae- Jake spoke about it at the party. Getting to know him and all that.” your words are rushed and your hand reaches for the bottle to pour more wine. Admittedly, this is probably the last thing you should be doing, getting drunk and not running your mouth was never something that came easily. The party of girls nod and accept your answer. You need to be more careful. You don’t dare look at Mrs Sim with the fear of being obliterated on the spot. 

“You got this, baby!” Yeoreum shouts loudly and gains the attention of Jaeyun, his smile bright as he waves, his eyes never leaving yours. You smile back and give him two thumbs up. He starts to wipe his face with the bottom of his t-shirt to gather the sweat. It gives you a peak of his lower abdomen and you feel like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. 

The mind is a powerful tool and also your greatest enemy at the moment as you recollect every time you kissed down his stomach, sometimes leaving hickeys to mark him as yours. You remember how his jaw would slack open the lower you got, the moans that would fall from his lips as your tongue trailed from his belly button to the top of his boxer waistband. When his dick was pressed against that very stomach you would trace your fingers touching everything but his cock. You swallow hard, thighs clenching together, you can’t think these thoughts but fuck it was so easy.

Jaeyun notices your face change and smirks, biting his lip and ogling at your thighs rubbing against each other just like you used to when you were turned on by him. His eyes dart to his fiances but she seems unbothered by his act. Heeseung comes up behind him and wraps an arm over his shoulder. “Dude this is rough-” he pauses and follows Jaeyun’s eyes, “What you looking at? Yeoreum? Y/N?” he whispers only your name and it makes Jaeyun sigh.

“Let’s just get back to the game yeah? Sooner we beat these old men the sooner I can have a beer.” Heeseung laughs and claps his best friend’s back.

While you're zoning out, your best friend speaks up. “Heeseung looks good, huh Y/N?” Eunseo giggles and nudges your shoulder with hers. “I thought I saw him flirting with you earlier.” You laugh and shake your head dismissively. 

“Nah he was just engaging in conversation.” Everyone is looking at you waiting for you to elaborate, “Oh, it was just usual chit-chat. Weather, work, small talk stuff.” 

Eunseo doesn’t buy your chatter, she’s convinced after seeing you both this morning that you two will be the next wedding she attends. “Y/N, he was all over you at the table!” Eunseo chimes and tries to recreate the scene for the other girls at the table, “He was all like touchy, and your faces were like here!” Her nose brushes yours to which you laugh it off and push her lightly, shaking your head.

“Well I think you should try to speak to him more, he seems interested.” Yeoreum says and you try not to laugh in her face.

Mrs Sim snorts and sets her wine glass down. “Yeoreum, honey, Y/N isn’t his type. He likes classy girls, loyal girls with a good sense of worth.” Ouch. It was probably deserved but shit did that prick your heart. Eunseo looks at you confused but you shrug and don’t pay attention to it.

“Heeseung isn’t my type either.” you mutter. Yeoreum leans her elbow on the table and places her face in her palm as she asks, “What is your type then, Y/N?”

Jaeyun.

“Eh, I like guys who are sweet, um, they laugh at stupid jokes,” You start to look at Jaeyun as you continue, “I like when guys are attentive and know things about you that you don’t even really know yourself because they listen to every little thing you say.”

The girls around the table are gawking at you, “Y/N? Have you ever been in love? You must have been!” One of the bridesmaids asks excitedly. You shrug your head to the side and laugh.

“Once upon a time but that was forever ago.” You slyly look at Mrs. Sim and it was astronomically the worst decision. Her face was overcome with disgust.

Ironically, it’s Yeoreum asking the question now, “Tell us about it. Wasn’t he the ‘one’”. How do you say to her that your love, the one you want to spend forever with, is hers? 

“I think he was but I was an idiot, too young to understand that we should have fought through our challenges rather than me running away from them.” The honesty in your voice is raw and you’re holding down the tears. One of the bridesmaids asks, “How do you know someone is the one?” 

“J-” You almost say his name but smoothly continue without anyone noticing, “You know because there is an easiness in loving someone you know you're going to spend your life with. It comes naturally like breathing. There’s no trying to impress, no hiding parts of you. You both love each other like it’s the only thing you know how to do right. Even if you're apart, when you eventually come back together you slide right back into where you left off. Your love is infinite." 

Yeoreum starts to cry "That’s like me and Jake." The crowd of girls hurry to her side and hug her as she sobs, encouragements from her party saying how they are ‘meant to be’ flood your ears. While they are distracted you wipe a tear, that’s when you feel a hand hold yours. Mrs Sim has a mournful look on her face, her thumb swiping over the back of your hand now seated next to you. Its unexpected but this is a step up from the hateful glares and you’re more than thankful.

Her eyes hold a love for you just like those years ago, maybe it took you explaining your feelings for her to truly understand how sorry you were about the whole situation, opening her up to forgive you even a little bit.

Yeoreum composes herself, fanning her face with her hands as everyone proceeds back to their seats, everyone except Mrs Sim who stays by your side, forcing Eunseo to move to the opposite end. “Thanks, girls. Ugh I just love him so much.” 

Don’t ask it. Don’t ask it. Your brain is screaming to ask her the question that you know would set you off, “How did you two meet?” The words fall from your lips before you can catch them with your teeth.

A smile spreads widely across her face as her whole body turns to you. This is the first time you have properly examined her features and you wish you didn’t. Easily she is one of the most beautiful girls to ever exist, her small face but big features making her look otherworldly, her body is naturally slender, her black hair is long and sleek straight, her bangs fit around her face perfectly, her eyes gleamed with life and love. She was truly perfection. “We met at Apollo! You know the college in Busan?” Her eyes twinkle and you become jealous because in the past 4 years, your eyes have become dull and empty, “He was walking to class in the East block and I just thought he was the hottest guy I had ever seen.” 

Mrs. Sim delicately squeezes your hand but doesn’t spare a glance. Despite her feelings for you, she knows this isn’t easy for you and she doesn’t envy you in this situation at all. “I just walked up to him and asked him out. He was so reluctant at first, saying he was still getting over his ex,” she smiles at the memory, “and let me tell you, after that night he probably didn’t think about her again.” Yeoreum smirked as the girls squealed.

“Yeoreum, as his mother I don’t need to hear this.” Mrs. Sim scoffs, her face slightly disgusted. The bride-to-be mouthed a quick sorry and continued, “We went totally casual for a while, but you know how things escalate, he was in love with me by like the third time I met him.”

You nodded at her as she continued to tell you about her romance with the love of your life and you feel your heart slide its way into the pit of your stomach. It's nauseating how he found a love and you couldn’t even face dating anyone. But you couldn’t be mad, of course not, because you did this.

“Y/N?” You look up to see Heeseung and Jaeyun, both of them with their eyes on you purposefully. Yeoreum grabs Jaeyun’s hands yet his eyes don’t leave your face. Heeseung’s voice continues, “Can I grab you for a minute? I got a-” he pauses to think of an excuse, “I need a second pair of hands to bring out more drinks, yeah?” His eyebrow raises at you to follow along to which you nod and stand up. Noticing Eunseo’s stares you shake your head and give her a small smile. 

Heeseung’s fingers interlock with yours as he leads you away into the house and suddenly you feel like you can breathe again. “Y/N you okay? You looked like you were gonna throw up.” You look up at him, his 6”0 frame towering over you. 

“I’m fine, just asking questions I know I shouldn’t.” You let out a half-hearted laugh and smile sheepishly at him, “It’s okay. How was the game?” Proceeding to the kitchen you open the fridge to pick up the jug of margarita Yeoreum and Eunseo had lovingly made with way too much spirit and minimal mixers. 

“I still hate you for getting me caught, but we beat them so,” He shrugs and reaches from behind you to grab a six-pack of Peroni, “Wasn’t as eventful as your time at the interrogation table. I saw them all grilling you.” You snicker and disagree.

“Nah, they were just asking about my life, the usual.” It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t a lie either. 

Heeseung moves from behind you and leans against the kitchen island, one foot propped up on the base of the counter, swinging the beers between his legs. “How was Mrs. Sim? That must have been hard, I could feel her ice-cold stare from the other end of the garden.” He opens up the packet of 6 and hands you one, “Open this for me?” You nod and take it from him, setting the jug down to pop open the lid with the edge of the unit before giving it back to him. 

“I thought I was going to die I can’t lie, but then she was okay, I think?” You question the interaction in your head, “She was nicer to me as the afternoon went on, but I think it was pity.” Heeseung brings the bottle to his lips and sips the cold beer and his eyebrows lifted.

“I don’t think It would be pity, you know she loved you more than Jake, at least that’s what he always thought." He pauses and takes a sip from his bottle before dramatically pulling it from his lips and pointing towards you, "Fuck, didn’t she have your wedding dress practically paid for?” 

This was news to you and Heeseung guessed as much by the look on your face, “You didn’t know? She always went about how she had a separate savings account for you and Jake’s wedding. I think she still has it.”

You look at him quizically, “Wait, why would she still have it? Surely she would have put it to this wedding.” You search for a glass to pour the margarita into and wait for Heeseung to respond.

“Nah, they didn’t pay a penny for this. They don’t want him to marry her.”

“WHAT?!” You exclaim and turn around bug-eyed and mouth open, “What do you mean? His dad was saying all that nice stuff at the toast, and his mum looked like she was bursting with pride when Yeoreum was talking about Jake.” 

There was a silence in the air as Heeseung stepped forward and grabbed your shoulders, “They like her, but babe she isn’t you. Mr. and Mrs. Sim know Jake doesn-, you know what I shouldn’t be saying anything.” You plead with him to continue, gripping his hands that are placed on you, “Hee, please, Jake doesn’t what?”  

Just as Heeseung is about to divulge very useful information, Eunseo walks in with her hands up, “Ignore me, love birds, just came to get the jug of fun,” she spots it behind you and points, “Can you grab me that please?” 

Stepping back, Heeseung grabs the jug and hands it to Eunseo, “We were just coming out anyway, right angel.” 

Oh, you were going to murder him. His face smug and Eunseo’s mouth breaking into a large smile, you grab your glass and head out with them, Heeseung’s hands on your hips and lips to your ear, “Let me give her what she wants.” You turn around, eyes scolding him.

“Don’t even think about it, and don’t think I’ll let our little conversation go either.” As you walk and warn Heeseung, you’re already outside, a pair of usually wide, bright eyes, now thin as they watch you and his best friend joke around.

Jaeyun is seething.

#jake x reader #enhypen smut #enha smut #jake smut #jake sim ff #aj writes #this doesnt really have smut in it but whatever #i also did write like a good 1/3 of this drunk a while back so if I start to not make sense just ignore it lmao

[softdoctorreid]

shaping up | reid x reader

summary: overhearing someone describe him as having a ‘dad bod’ has spencer feeling self-conscious. you decide to surprise him with some news about just how fitting the term is.

• fem!reader

+++     +++     +++

It had been a long case. While it wasn’t too far from home and everybody lived this time, Spencer was exhausted and tired of motel life. All he wanted was to get back to you and return to the domestic bliss of your life together. It was almost harder when the Bureau sent them somewhere that was just far away enough to warrant not traveling back each night - knowing that you were just within driving distance but he couldn’t see you. So when the case closed and the only thing standing between him and an overdue reunion with his wife was wrapping up at the local police station, he was happy to take on any task to get on the road as soon as possible.

While he raced through the station turning in paperwork and signing off on documents, he overheard JJ trying to placate some of the reporters gathered in the lobby. Though she was a profiler now, she still knew the magic words for getting the media to disappear. There were two younger reporters, giggling and glancing back at the table where the team was dismantling the bulletin board.

“Sorry, I just can’t keep all the names straight. Who was the agent at the arrest again? The one with the dad bod?” one of them asked.

“Do you mean Simmons?” JJ asked, turning to point.

The reporter shook her head. “No, he’s totally jacked - I mean the one with the sweater and curly hair?”

“Ohh. I see, that would be Dr. Reid.” This time JJ pointed at him, and the reporters murmured in agreement. He puzzled over it the whole ride back to Quantico. How could they mean him? Simmons was the only member of the team who was a father. But the reporters had seemed so certain. It didn’t make any sense. Determined to solve the mystery, he made a point to walk out with JJ.

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop,” he explained. “But I overheard you talking with the reporters earlier. Can I ask you – what did they mean when they said I had a… dad bod?”

Jennifer smiled sympathetically at him, the look she often had when he asked something he knew must be obvious to everyone else. “Just a way people are describing a certain body type. It’s based on the way guys with kids tend to stop working out and get a little soft. But don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing,” she added, patting his arm. “According to the internet, dad bods are all the rage right now.”

To Spencer, it sure felt like a bad thing. After all, he wasn’t a dad. What excuse did he have to fall out of shape? Not that he’d ever particularly been in shape, the only physical activity he didn’t completely abhor was the kind that involved you, a private place, and ample foreplay. And he knew he’d gotten a little softer in recent months, but it felt weird to have it pointed out, especially by two strangers.

Simmons was a father, but he looked like he could do one-handed push-ups with every one of his kids on his back. Morgan didn’t lose his trademark abs after Hank’s birth. And then there was him, childless and yet the first one to be pointed out as “soft” without having any reason to be. The thought followed him like a cloud, and by the time he got home his mood was completely dampened.

You noticed the second he walked in the door. “I thought you told me everyone lived this time,” you said.

He tilted his head, confused. “Yeah. They did.”

“Then what’s got you looking so grumpy?” you asked, tracing the tip of your finger over the distinct frown he wore.

He started to dissent but you cut him off with a pointed look that told him it was a lost cause to lie. Clearly years of being around profilers was rubbing off on you. “It was just something this reporter said.”

You pulled him down to sit on the couch. “About the case?”

“No, about… about me. About how I have a dad bod.” He hated how silly it sounded to say out loud.

A soft laugh escaped your lips before you caught yourself, trying to fight a smile. “And here I thought you didn’t know pop culture.”

Embarrassed, he busied himself with taking off his tie. “I don’t. I mean, I didn’t know that. But JJ explained it to me. It just made me feel weird, being described that way. I know I’m not exactly in shape, but I guess I didn’t expect other people to notice.” Spencer hadn’t counted on anyone else paying attention to the fit of his trousers or the way his sweaters clung to his body now that he’d filled out. Or at least he’d hoped his self-consciousness was unfounded, that his awareness of the ways his body had changed since Millburn didn’t extend to those around him. But if that wasn’t the case, maybe he needed to cut back on morning donut runs, or eliminate the sugar from his coffee. Anything to avoid being labeled the way he had been.

You set a hand on his thigh, unfazed by his self-deprication. “Well, from what I hear, a dad bod is pretty hot,” you purred.

Spencer pulled away from your touch, crossing his arms over his middle. “Is it?” he asked, not intending the edge that crept into his voice. “Because to me, it just sounds like a nicer way to say I’ve let myself go! I mean, what does that say about me when I don’t even have the excuse of being busy taking care of a kid or being a dad?”

He expected you to have some carefully crafted response at the ready, or at least some sweet nothings of validation, but you just shook your head, smiling. “Oh, babe. You’re that upset about this?”

Clearly he was. How had you gone from reading his expression so easily to acting surprised by what he told you? Annoyed by your lack of understanding, he just huffed a sigh. To his surprise, you stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. “Wait, where are you going?” he asked.

“To try and turn that frown upside down.” You returned with a brown paper bag in hand, setting it on the coffee table before sitting down next to him. “I know you’re not feeling great about it right now, but that dad bod of yours is going to be pretty useful.”

This vague hedging wasn’t your usual reaction to his discomfort, and he didn’t understand why you were so upbeat about this. “How, exactly?”

Your eyes softened, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards as you fought back a grin. “Spence,” you said, as though it was so obvious. “How do you think? When you’re a dad.” He bit his lip, puzzling over your words. They just didn’t make sense - he wasn’t a dad, that was the point. But you just raised your eyebrows, nodding slowly, waiting for it to sink in. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

What you were trying to… wait. Spencer froze, not even daring to blink. “You don’t mean–?”

“Yeah,” you said, the grin shining through in full. “Yeah, I do. Look in the bag.”

His gaze fell on the paper bag beside you, and he couldn’t even breathe for a moment, hands shaking as he grabbed it. It was like the whole world went quiet as he reached inside and withdrew a copy of Goodnight Moon. The book opened easily, and there tucked amidst the pages was a pregnancy test. With two lines. Pregnant.

When he looked back at you, he couldn’t even manage to form words. “I was going to surprise you with it tomorrow,” you told him. “But I felt like you needed something good right about now. So, see? You were just shaping up for your new role. You’ve always been ahead of the curve,” you laughed.

When he tried to laugh with you, it came out as a half-sob, tears springing to his eyes. “I’m going to be a dad?” he asked.

“You are.” Now you were starting to cry, too. “You’re gonna be the best dad.”

“Oh my god,” he said, pulling you into his arms in the tightest of hugs as the happiness overtook him completely. “We’re going to have a baby! Thank you. Thank you.” Becoming a father had long been a dream of his, one he so badly wanted to realize with you. And now that dream was finally coming true, the love of his life carrying his child, turning the Reid household into a family of three.

“Do you feel better now?” you asked him, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

He just nodded, answering in the form of a kiss. “Much, much better,” he said, when he finally pulled away. “Nothing else matters. I’m so happy, Y/N. This is the best news ever. I love you, I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you giggled. “You’re gonna be putting that body to good use, you know. I’ll want to cuddle with you all the time. And they say skin-to-skin contact is important for newborns.”

“It is. Kangaroo care, as some specialists call it, is shown to help infants regulate their heartbeat, breathing and body temperature, as well as facilitating parent-child bonding and reducing crying.”

“See? You’re already an expert.” You inched closer to him on the couch, resting one hand on his waist, your thumb stroking over his tummy. “And I meant it when I said dad bods are hot. I mean, right now, Spence? I look at you and all I see is a DILF. You know what that one means, right?”

Spencer’s breath caught. “Yes,” he said carefully. “Yes, I do.”

“And?”

“And,” he said, caressing your cheek, his eyes roaming over your body. “I could never say no to that.”

+++

tell me what you think here!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #dad bod spence #we were really robbed of dad!spencer

[an-au-blog]

Buggy accidentally detaching body parts around Shanks to be closer to him tough without him even noticing he’s doing it.

Imagining Teen Shanks getting up at night and untangling himself from his friends octopus wrap „Lemme go… I gotta piss.“ „Mnnng“. Making his way towards the bathroom and relieving himself groggily, thumbling towards the old washbasin to clean his hands off. Raises his head to look at his exhausted face in the mirror, eyes still small and full of sleep, hair mussed up on one side and the imprint of the pillow still on his face, a little cut on his face he got from his first attempt at trying to shave last week, a ghostly detached hand that clings to his shoulder, clinging harder to the fabric of his shirt as it starts to loose its grip for a second-

Shanks gets teased for waking up the entire crew with his screaming even months after that night.

Ahahaha yes! I love this concept!

Also after waking up, Buggy not wanting to get up, so Shanks is dragging his arms around, whether wrapped around him or hanging from him. It becomes a normal thing for the crew but every so often, whenever they get invaded or someone new comes on the ship it scares the shit out of them. Just some kid with a pair of dismantled limbs around his torso.

I can also see Buggy acting mad at Shanks (when he's not actually that angry) and trying to storm off but only hid upper half moves and his feet just stay there, betraying him.

This, however, could potentially be bad for him in battle when he's scared and feels frozen.

Imagine,

They're fighting someone and he's there petrified. Some guy cuts him in half through the stomach. Buggy falls down and tries to crawl away because his legs don't work. Everything is in slow motion and he can't breath. He's panicking. He doesn't know what to do, even if he did it would be too late - the guy who cut him is already swinging again. He closes his eyes and protects his face with his hands. But the blow never comes.

When he opens his eyes he sees Shanks has started fighting the guy who attacked him.

This often leads to conversations like

Buggy: I can fend for myself, you know!

Shanks: Well it didn't seem like it. I was just trying to help why are you mad at me?

Buggy: It's not like they could kill me by chopping me, remember? Plus what do you care?

Shanks: Why do I care for my best friend?

Buggy never thinking they were regular friends, not to mention best friends: ... wtf is wrong with you *storming off because he doesn't know how to genuine affection*

(his feet are still in the room and the arm Shanks was holding is also)

#shuggy #one piece shuggy #shanks x buggy #buggy × shanks #answers #op

[bau-drabbles]

hello could you do “are you ashamed of me?” with spencer? maybe about their new relationship? i love your fanfics keep up the good works! 💗💗💗

aw of course. thank u for asking, my love 🤍 hope you enjoy (its rlly rushed, i'm sorry 😭)

"so l/n, are you going out with anyone?"

the question was enough innocent enough, matter of fact, it was supposed to be a yes or no answer and then on to a different question to someone else. simple enough

so you don't know why your mouth refused to a thing

their eyes were burning a hole into you, the longer you weren't answering the more their curiosity were piqued. you could hear giggles and hushed whispers but it all felt muffled under the thundering of your heart.

spencer sat before you, his honeyed eyes observing every detail about you. his lips were poised in a soft smile, ready for you to tell them all about your secret relationship. with him, specifically. he wanted to tell the teams months ago but you weren't ready just yet, so he complied.

finally, he wanted to kiss you on the cheek without the risk of being seen, the burden of having you in private but never public finally gone. he thought you shared the same thoughts, felt the same way.

feeling the panic coursing through your veins like gasoline, you awkwardly chuckle your way out of answering. but spencer kept making glances, his eyebrow perked ever so slightly, wondering what was holding you back. you both finally accepted that you'd let them know today, what happened??

instead you gently shook your head, taking a sip of your drink

"no, i'm happy being single" like slow motion, reid watched the words fall from your lips but they didn't comprehend until the rest of the team shared sympathetic looks.

they patted your shoulder and told you you'd find someone soon. that you weren't alone, and if it was any consolation reid was also single.

but his heart had felt as if it was breaking in two, swallowing the protruding lump in his throat. morgan had made a joke that reid was also single and he nudged his shoulder, it took reid everything to pretend to smile and raise his glass. to pretend to be happy for you when he wanted to let the secret out

his eyes burned holes into you but you simply ignored them, much like him for the rest of the evening.

•••

the car ride home was silent, at least from your end. morgan and jj were chuckling, joking and talking about memories. but you and spencer haven't the heart to join in with them so you both sat on the opposite ends of the car, your heads resting on the windows. and when it came to your stop, you say your bye's, hopping out. you don't expect spencer come with you but hearing the slam of the car door tells you otherwise.

"goodnight you guys" jj gives you both a smile, morgan giving you a wink as they drive off. you wish you're in the backseat, unable to face spencer after tonight. you're not sure what to say but you already want to get it over with

you trudged your way to your home, opening the door. dismantling the alarm you make your way to your kitchen, perhaps if you fake your headache he would leave you alone?

"are you mad at me?" spencer stops walking, his hands deep in his pockets. you don't have to face him to know the look on his face. and it breaks your heart that you're the one causing him this pain.

"no" you answered a little too defensively, silently hoping he didn't pick up on the tone. but he did, he always does.

"then look at me y/n, please" his tone is soft yet commanding so you turn on your heels, towards him. but still, unable to make any eye contact. you don't even know how to explain it to him when you can't make sense of it yourself. this relationship or whatever it was called was going too fast, it felt like you couldn't breathe. it had shifted your world on its axis, leaving you overwhelmed and unable to breathe

you knew his ex lover, maeve. you knew how much he adored her. how much you wouldn't be able to amount to her. how the team would make the comments that she was incredibly intelligent, that her and spencer were both two peas in a pod. how could you possibly amount to her?

was it jealousy? was it envy? was it pain? you didn't quite know.

"are you ashamed of me, then?" spencer comes closer until he's a foot away, observing your facial features. he's trying to profile you, something you really didn't like. and no matter how much you tried to keep a straight face, he could see the hurricane of emotion in your eyes. the trouble, the pain, the sadness. all he wanted you to do was let him in, just let him in

"i'm tired spencer, please" you move past him, so desperately wanting to bury yourself in your bed and never come out

"so that's a yes" his voice stops you once more and the way he had said it, breaks your heart into fragments. he sounded so small, so worried, so sad. almost like he knew he was losing you from the start.

"it's...." you take a breath, insecurities coming to light. you know your next words are important, you know you they're going to make or break your relationship. but looking at him, standing there. only one thought richoted in your head.

let me always love you by telling you goodbye

it was safer for him and for you, perhaps from afar you may always admire him. but this relationship wasn't the wisest choice. you could never live up to the expectations maeve set up in his heart. you could never be like her. could he accept that or would he grow to resent you?

"you know what? you're right, reid. i'm ashamed of this. of us. i thought i could do it but i can't. i-i can't pretend that you're the man i no longer..." your breath hitched in your throat, watching him. he was silent, you could see him cracking piece by piece under the harshness of your words. but it had to be said. you had to be the one to end it this time.

"i no longer love you" it felt like the world had collided, the ground trembling under his feet. he hoped it was, he hoped the ground would swallow him whole. the moment he truly thought would never happened was playing out in front of his eyes.

was this how he was doomed to spend the rest of his life? coming so close to love only to never experience it?

"y/n plea-" he reaches out but you move backwards, recoiling away from his touch. it makes him want to cry, he wants to know what's going on. why you're being so cold but he can't, he's lost you for good.

so he doesn't say anything further, his eyes drifting from your feet to your eyes slowly. his mouth in a straight line, unable to say anything. what could he say? he could beg you not to make this decision but you're set, you've finalised it in your head. he doesn't even want to leave but you've made it clear where he stands so he has no other choice.

with every step he felt his heart break even more, knowing that he'd never be quite the same again. burning tears escape his eyes and he hurriedly wipes them away but they continue to fall regardless.

and all you could do was watch, your arms wrapped tight around you as the man you loved with your entire soul, left you alone

you still got a chance at forever if i leave...

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader angst

[nunalastor]

I present unto thee this persistent thought:

Things Angel Dust does to keep creeps away from the other residents.

(Warning for talking about creeps of the non-literal predatory kind)

Charlie's willing to let people go a little too far before she retaliates. To prevent creeps from getting too close to her to begin with, Angel will slip something into the creeps' drinks. By the time they wake up, Angel has already made sure Alastor and Lucifer know that someone was casting predatory looks at Charlie. If they're crazy enough to creep on Lucifer's daughter, they're not going to listen to reason.

All Angel has to do, most of the time, to get a creep off of Vaggie is offhandedly mention that she has a girlfriend who would really appreciate it if they backed off. This being Hell, the possibility of a possessive partner setting their sights on you is a bigger threat than annoying an Overlord. Most Overlords, at least, will only kill you once. If that doesn't work, leveling a blessing-tipped gun at their face usually does the trick. When all else fails, actually go get Charlie. He hasn't had to resort to that last one yet.

Speaking of the possessive partner card, he can play that himself in regards to Husk as of four days ago! Not that any creeps have gone after Husk, and if they did then Husk would probably dismantle them himself. But Angel still keeps an eye out around new faces, just in case.

Niffty attracts the weirdest creeps. They tend to back off relatively quickly though; if Niffty doesn't scare them off on accident or they don't flee when Angel picks her up protectively and glares in their direction, then they run screaming when Angel suggests Niffty introduce her newest "bad boy" to Alastor. The only time the creep didn't run at the mention of Alastor, the creep ended up eaten and Alastor made Angel's favorite pasta that night for dinner (without demon flesh, thankfully).

If someone's crazy enough to creep on Lucifer, there's no saving them. They were clearly braindead to begin with. Letting Charlie know results in a show deserving of popcorn as Charlie absolutely rips the creep apart and then hands the broken body to Alastor. The only request she makes is that he add the creep's screams to his broadcasts. Angel thinks Alastor finds it funny, because he never refuses her.

Protecting Alastor from creeps is where things get complicated. He hates being seen as weak, so Angel can't be direct about it. He also has to ignore Vox since Alastor has made it very clear that dealing with the TV Overlord is his job. (Angel tries to squash the uneasy feeling he gets when he thinks of what Vox might do if he ever got his hands on Alastor. He doesn't succeed.) What Angel can do, however, is insert himself right between Alastor and whatever creep is pushing their luck. Angel can also invent problems for Alastor to leave the room to "solve." It might take awhile, but Husk, Vaggie, or Lucifer (most often Lucifer, which isn't as surprising as it should be after the sexual jokes incident) will catch on. Or the creep will attack Angel. Sooner or later, the creep will find themself facing the wrath of Lucifer and/or Charlie and never be heard from again.

Angel may not have the most skills, but he knows how to spot when someone desires someone else. And how they plan to go about it. What sort of friend would Angel be if he just stood by and let them get taken advantage of?

👀

#hazbin hotel #nunalastor asks #angel dust

[prettysweetprettysweet]

So I was thinking further about the issue at the heart of this post regarding how a lot of the audience is put off or puzzled by Achi's way of conducting himself in relation to Karan, how he seems too reserved, low-energy, or minimally invested in their relationship. I've been thinking on another circumstance that I think influences it beyond the issues I had talked about in my post.

At the beginning of our story, Achi seems to be completely adjusted to a life without romantic love or sexual relationships. When reminded of cultural expectations about all the necessary milestones for men his age, he does feel insecure and unhappy about falling short, but beyond that he probably doesn't spend an awful lot of time in a headspace where he would contemplate romance and sex at a deeper more emotion-based level. I think support for this idea is that he only made an attempt at instigating a romantic relationship (bringing coffee to a colleague) when he was feeling insecure about turning 30. When he overheard her saying essentially that he was undateable, his sadness came more from what he saw as confirmation that he was too boring to be loved rather than the loss of a potential relationship.

Achi's baseline seems to be that he doesn't spend significant time thinking about romance in relation to himself, not with good emotions - he thinks about romance mostly in terms of being a measure of failure and a gauge of character (no person has wanted to even kiss me, so I must really be an unappealing and unremarkable person) - completely detached from what makes love what it is, an incredible feeling of adoration, comfort, safety, etc. At the beginning of the story, Karan's role in his life is solely as a model of what he should be and a daily reminder that, from Achi's point of view, he is not talented, smart, unique, driven, handsome, or likable enough to reach the milestones that Karan has.

Because Achi doesn't invest much in romance, and because the idea of being in a relationship with someone as perfect as Karan is so ludicrous as to be inconceivable to him, there is absolutely zero connection in his mind between the idea of Karan and the idea of romance at the point in time when he discovers that Karan thinks about him in romantic terms near constantly. At the heart of the struggle is Achi needing to transform his view of his worth as a human being, so that he can truly give credence to the concept of he and Karan genuinely being in love with each other.

But something that I think is being overlooked is that Achi has a huge mental and emotional task in transforming how he views Karan. He needs to dismantle the idea of Karan being an idol - a model to aspire to, envy, and resent for his effortless perfection - and reposition this new, real Karan into a romantic and sexual context. That is a very layered, intricate task that can only be worked on by spending more and more time with Karan.

It is funny, though, how often idol worship bleeds into romantic yearning. We've heard Achi say some spin on Karan being the most perfect, most handsome, most prized, most kind and considerate man in the world over a dozen times. The root feelings are there - he just needs to weed out the negative thoughts and emotions that he's associated with Karan for seven long years, and try to view him as a real person with love and desire for him instead of some abstract ideological concept of male perfection.

That would be an arduous process for anyone, but especially for Achi, who thinks he has no instinct for love and desire, and zero experience to draw from. This fact coupled with his abysmal view of himself means that Achi is receiving and synthesizing Karan's overtures at a glacial pace, slow to react and completely unsure about what's right and wrong or what's normal and strange. And, really, he's just getting used to being a person who talks to another person with no masks or airs. He's realizing that he actually can offer words and thoughts from his inner self, out loud -- and that he has an avid, invested, passionate listener in Karan.

Randomly - one of my favorite illustrations of this whole thing is Achi sitting audience to Karan as he's soaking himself in water, and Achi is just...completely silent, hypnotized, deeply studious but also smiling unconsciously from some good feeling he's getting from seeing Karan like this. I was so proud of him for that moment, like yesssss the flames of physical desire are being fanned! You gawk at that boy, Achi!

Anyways I sort of think of it like one of those pictures that changes depending on the angle and distance you're viewing it from. From far away and a profoundly unhappy angle, Karan is the perfect man that Achi will never be. when he moves in close and tilts his head back upright, Karan is now a beautiful, complex, flawed man that is deeply in love with him and inspires those same feelings in return. Achi just has to get himself to that place.

#cherry magic #cherry magic thailand #cherry magic th #karanachi #yo mismo #thai bl #tay tawan #taynew #new thitipoom #ไทย

[animatorweirdo]

Soundless

Your father discouraged you from seeking the elf, but since you were desperate to have your locket fixed -- you decided to let his words go soundless in your ears. Turns out, the ill-famed Feanor wasn't so bad after all.

[] = Sign language

Warnings: mentions of a dead mother, hearing loss, rumors, Feanor's reputation, softness, and Feanor not being bad after all.

(Note: I decided to take a softer turn for this guy,)

---------------------------------------------

Your life has not been an easy one. Despite being born into nobility as the child of a Telerin lord, you faced your share of hardships from a young age. Your mother passed away shortly after your birth, and then you lost your hearing to a strange illness.

Growing up without the ability to hear the sounds of nature or music was incredibly challenging. Many people looked at you with pity, and some even speculated that you were cursed, given the unfortunate circumstances surrounding both your mother's death and your hearing loss. This placed a heavy burden on your father, who was left to care for you alone.

You two shared a great bond, and he had been genuinely a good father to you, helping you adapt to your disability and trying to make sure you were happy. However, you knew how tired he was and how he held a look of longing in his eyes. He was most likely still waiting for your mother to return from the halls of Mandos. 

Your mother had been born with a weak body thus the childbirth took a severe toll on her and her spirit. The Valar and the Maiar assured that she would heal over time, but it would take a long time. There was a high chance she would return when you had already grown into your teens. 

Your father was deeply saddened by the news and carried a heavy burden of guilt, believing that he was responsible for your mother being stuck in a state of recovery. Despite any rumors or beliefs held by others, he never allowed you to bear the blame. Instead, he shielded you from such notions, ensuring that you understood it was not your fault and that you were not to blame for your mother's passing.

You didn't want your father to blame himself, so you always strived to be on your best behavior and do things that would make him happy. You also wanted to prove to him that he didn’t always need to worry about you and that you could handle yourself, even if you were deaf. That was one of the reasons why you were determined to learn how to read people’s lips and make communication easier for yourself.

One of the only things you had from your mother was a silver locket.

Your father allowed you to keep it, and you held on to it ever since. Unfortunately, the lock had gotten stuck, thus making you unable to open it. 

Your father didn’t know what the locket held inside, so you pleaded with him to have someone fix it. However, since the locket was an older design from the First Age, none of the craftsmen knew how to repair it. They all advised you to dismantle the locket and salvage whatever was inside, but you were unwilling to do so. You were fond of the locket itself and didn't want to risk damaging whatever precious contents it held.

You began to lose hope when there were no more craftsmen to turn to, and even your father seemed less eager to save the locket. He eventually told you to simply keep the locket as a memory, assuring you that knowing what was inside was not important.

You valued your father's advice, but you also couldn't shake the desire to know what was inside the locket. Perhaps it contained a picture of your mother, since you had so few of them in the house, or maybe it held a cherished item she kept as a memory.

You then heard about an elf who was rumored to be one of the best craftsmen known in history: Feanor, King Finarfin’s older brother and the eldest of Finwe’s children. You heard that he had done troubling things in the past and nowadays lived in seclusion with his sons, rarely attending social events. Despite his reclusive nature, his reputation as a skilled craftsman persisted.

You felt hope for your mother’s locket, but when you asked your father if you two could meet him, he suddenly became angry and refused. You were startled as you had never seen him so angry before. 

Your father apologized for snapping at you and then explained that Feanor was not someone who should even be spoken about. Despite the passing of many years, the wounds he had inflicted were still fresh in the hearts of many. He was not to be trusted, so it's only for the best that you forget the whole thing.

Normally, you would have listened to your father, but your stubbornness to have your locket fixed strived you forward. 

During a celebration event with most noble houses and the city attending, you sneaked away from your father’s side and made your way to the workshop where you heard Feanor usually occupied alone with his gadgets. 

You had visited many workshops while trying to get your locket fixed, so you had a good idea of what to look for. It didn’t take long for you to find the place and walk inside. The workshop was empty, as most of the people were attending the celebration. Although it was a bit eerie to be alone, you pressed on until you found a door with light emanating from the room beyond.

You quietly peered inside and observed a dark-haired elf seated beside a table, engrossed in some task beneath the flickering candlelight. For a moment, you were awestruck, realizing that this was the famed Feanor, the elf who had allegedly committed terrible deeds.

With cautious steps, you entered the room, mindful not to startle the elf, and pondered how to approach him without alarming him. Unbeknownst to you, the door behind you closed shut, causing the elf to startle and snap his head towards you.

You were frozen in your place when you locked your eyes with Feanor. His features were sharp and he frowned when he saw you. For a moment, he looked a bit terrifying. 

“Child? What are you doing here alone? Where are your parents?” Feanor questioned, but you awkwardly remained quiet as you only managed to catch ‘here’ and ‘parents’ from his lips. Your lip reading skills weren’t the sharpest despite you having been trying to improve them. 

You took a deep breath and then tried to explain in sign language why you were there and that you had hoped he could take a look at your locket and perhaps know how to fix it since no one else knew how to. 

Feanor gazed intently at you as you signed, and then there was an awkward pause. You weren't sure if he understood sign language, and you mildly regretted not bringing a piece of paper and a pencil, which would have made explaining much easier.

Feanor’s eyes then softened, and to your surprise, he motioned his hand in sign language. 

“[Come here…]” he said. 

You then walked up to him and handed him your locket. 

He inspected it carefully, taking in the design and the lock. After he tested it and tried to open it, he then laid it down on the table. He grabbed one of the vials and what seemed to be a small tool. You looked at him curiously as he started doing something. 

He then glanced at you. 

“[Take a seat. This might take a while…]” He signed. 

You nodded and quietly sat on the opposite side of the table, watching as he gently poured drops on the lock. 

“[What is that?] you curiously asked. 

“[A type of acid. It can remove the rust that had locked the locket from the inside,]” he explained. 

“[Wait! So you can really fix it without having to break it?!]” you asked excitedly.

“[Of course I can. I do need to take the lock apart to clean the excess rust from the inside,]” Feanor explained while dropping drops on the locket. 

“[How do you know sign language?]” you asked. 

“[I was the one who first developed it,]” he answered, making your eyes widen. 

“[Did you or anyone in your family have hearing problems too? ]” you asked. 

“[No. I just wanted a way to bad mouth my half-brother without him understanding anything. I was a bit of a drama seeker,]” he explained, making you giggle. 

“[Then it was adopted by those who were unable to speak or hear words,]” he added.

“[How long have you been unable to hear words or sounds?]” he asked while cleaning your locket’s lock. 

“[My whole life. I lost my hearing somewhere in my birth,]” you answered.

“[Do you want to talk about it?]” Feanor asked, and you became excited. No one else besides your father has spoken to you in sign language this long. 

You then talked about your life. How your mother died during your birth, and how your father had taken care of you your whole life. You also talked about how your father seems to be blaming himself for your mother’s death and how you hated when others would look at you with pity and think you had been cursed. 

Feanor listened attentively while fixing your locket. 

After half an hour of talking and watching him work, you took a break, but then you saw how the elf in front of you placed all the parts back in the locket and opened it. 

You looked at him eagerly as he closed it and then opened it, making sure the lock worked properly before handing the locket back to you.

You grabbed the locket and took a look at what was inside. It was a small picture of your mother and father. They looked happy together, and there was also a small gem inside. It was most likely the gem your father gave your mother as a gift, and she had kept it inside the locket for safekeeping and carried it with her. You felt immeasurable joy looking at the picture and holding the gem. 

Your father would be so happy when you showed these to him. 

Feanor then caught your attention by tapping the table in front of you. 

“[The locket should work fine for now, but make sure to take care of it and not leave it somewhere where it could rust again, ]” Feanor explained. 

“[I will. Thank you,]” you signed. 

“[Now come on. I take you back to the entrance. You shouldn’t be here,]” he said, then stood up. 

You followed the elf out of the workshop, and you two then stood on the empty street while the celebration was still going in the distance. 

“[Do you need me to escort you back there?]” Feanor asked. 

“[No. My father is pretty easy to find, and I don’t think he even noticed that I’m gone. I’m pretty quiet after all, ]” you answered. 

“[Very well, and by the way,]” he said, making you look at him curiously. 

“[Your mother’s passing was not your fault. No matter how tragic it was, you are not at fault,]” he explained. 

You looked down for a moment. 

“[But others think differently,]” you said. 

“[There will always be people who will judge you for what you don’t have. Don’t let their words get to you. Otherwise, your life will become difficult and harder to enjoy,]” he signed.

 “[And remember, hearless or not, your mother would have loved you]” he added. 

The thought made you smile. Your mother had a weak body, but it didn’t mean she did not want you. Your father and the rest of the relatives always explained how she was excited to have you. 

She might be in Mandos, but she was going to return one day. 

“[I won’t. Thank you, Mr. Feanor,]” you said, and he softly smiled. 

“[Now get along now. Your father will notice your disappearance soon enough,]” he said. 

You then suddenly hugged his legs, making him look at you surprised. He then patted your head as you freed him and began making your way back to the party. You waved at him, and he waved in return till he saw you disappear into the crowds. 

Feanor returned to his workshop, feeling pleasant over the encounter. 

#silmarillion x reader #middle earth x reader #silm fic #tolkien #silmarillion imagines #feanor #feanor x reader #feanor x child reader #silmarillion fanfiction #silmarillion #middle earth #deaf reader

[brightowldarkpigeon]

James Somerton Apology 2.0

Someone on Reddit asked what a genuine apology from Somerton would look like, and I outlined it there. I thought I'd share my post here in case it helps any others who are trying to understand what a sincere apology looks like!

(To be clear, I think that in general matters that are not as severe as James's, hoping to recover your career or asking for forgiveness are perfectly fine. For James, his betrayal was strong and defrauded so many people financially, that there is no way to make restitution without a years-long break from making content).

If he wanted to make a genuine apology, it would have to be done without any expectation of the recovery of his career. It would have to be very much the last thing he'd say on the matter, the only video on his channel, and demonetized. He would need to make the apology, then leave for at least a year, if not longer.

Then he would need to follow the standard five steps of apology:

1. Expression of regret

He'd have to say, "I am genuinely sorry for plagiarizing the work of others and taking great pains to obfuscate that fact." He would say, "I'm sorry that I told lies in my videos and did the bare minimum to create as much content and wealth as possible in as short a time as possible." He would also say, "I am sorry for the misogyny and anti-trans bias that I perpetuated both with my words on this channel and my actions toward other creators."

2. Acknowledgment of responsibility

This is essentially to say how it hurt the other person. "I am aware of the enormous harm that I caused to both the queer creators that I stole from and the viewers I deceived. My misogyny and transphobia have harmed not only the women and nonbinary people I offended, but also all other white cis gay men who do not want to carry on this legacy of upholding patriarchal sexism." I'd like him to make this the longest portion of the video, showing how plagiarism, deception, and misogyny cause real, tangible harm, and how his actions were wrong.

(It would be extra nice if he could take real responsibility and say, "I did all these things because I was greedy and lazy, and because I have not done the work to dismantle my own biases against women and trans people.)

3. Making Restitution

Here's where he says he's going to

a) PAY BACK HIS PATRONS. Seriously. That would be such a start. I understand that he needs money to survive, and it might take a long time to get back to that level of income, but he deceived both his patreon patrons and the backers of his Talos project.

b) Publish the names and works of every author he stole from.

c) Create a queer youtuber fund or something like that.

4. Genuinely promising change

He will need to GET. OFF. YOUTUBE. STOP. MAKING. CONTENT. It's time for him to find a new job, even with his fucking epilepsy, he's a decent video editor with a large portfolio and he absolutely could get work doing video editing from the bazillion people who have never heard of him. (They do exist!)

Or get literally any other WFH job. Do customer service if you have to. Take a break from being a star.

And of course say, "I do not think I will ever make original content again since I've lost the trust of this community, but if in a few years, I do try again, I will devote my time to properly crediting and uplifting other queer creators.

5. Requesting forgiveness

No. Don't do this. It's beyond forgiveness right now. Once james has SHOWN he's changed by educating himself and taking some time away from youtube, and DOING ALL THE RESTITUTION HE PROMISED, then he can ask for forgiveness.

Hope that helps.

#james somerton #hbomberguy #plagiarism

[claymorexpunisher]

Outta the Spotlight (18+ One-Shot)

Disclaimer: This is NSFW. If that's not your thing, keep scrolling. I try to tag my work appropriately, so if you choose to click on my work regardless, use your own discretion. Thank you for the love always and enjoy this cheesy porno! 🥂

Pairing(s): Roman Reigns/Male Reader

Summary: M!Reader has debuted in the main roster alongside Roman and the two of them decide to hang back and test out the ring's durability while everyone else has gone home.

Tags/TWs: 18+, established relationship, oral sex, anal sex, consensual sex, sex in public, soft!Ro. (But also, filth.)

Word Count: 1,405

All was quiet at the KFC Yum! Center in Louisville, Kentucky once the lights were turned off and everyone went home. My boyfriend Roman and I decided to hang back for a little while longer to take in the silence and let tonight’s events soak in. The Smackdown roster had an extra night here in Louisville, so the crew didn’t bother themselves with dismantling the set. So Roman and I made our way towards it, and we sat side by side on the apron.

Tonight, I debuted on the main roster, on Smackdown alongside Roman as his new right-hand man now that his cousins had all gone rogue. It was pretty well known in the industry that we were a couple. So, there definitely had been a ton of speculation amongst talent and fans alike, about whether or not I would debut and help my man out. Possibly to try to help and smooth things out between The Bloodline.

“Ro? Did you ever think things would turn out this way? The two of us workin’ together?” I tilted my head as I asked the slightly timid question. I couldn’t help it. Among all of the positive rumblings about everything I had accomplished so far in my wrestling career, there were also the shitty rumblings. The people who thought that I wasn’t even remotely ready to make it into a massive stage like WWE. That I wasn’t ready to be alongside someone of Roman’s caliber or to come into such an established and intricately put together storyline. I wasn’t jealous of my boyfriend and all of his success. On the contrary, I couldn’t be prouder of all that he’s accomplished along with his cousins. But it’d be a bold-faced lie if I said I wasn’t the least bit intimidated.

I watched a contemplative look pass over Roman’s brown eyes. We shifted our gazes straight ahead toward the empty seats. Looking out into the expansive stands, it was almost as if I could hear the cheers and applause and the sounds of shock and pure elation from the fans all over again. And there was no doubt in my mind that Roman was also replaying tonight’s events in his head as he took a couple seconds to answer my question. But when he did, I heard a smile suddenly light up his tone, causing me to smile as well.

“Course,” Roman nodded confidently. “we’re too damn good together in every possible way for things not to end up this way. But even without all that, you deserved this moment. You’ve worked your ass off… but I know why you’re asking and baby- Imma tell you right now- don’t worry about the haters. Alright? You’re exactly where you need to be. You hear me?” Roman said as he reached out to tenderly graze his knuckles against my chin. His gaze bore into mine and I bit my lip softly. It didn’t even surprise me anymore whenever he just knew what I was thinking.

“I hear you.” I whispered softly and nodded before my lips puckered, silently asking for a kiss. Roman chuckled but he complied without a second’s hesitation. We sat there on the ring apron, our tongue slowly tasting… searching… my hands slid underneath roman’s hoodie and I moaned softly as my fingers touched warm skin and firm muscle. Goosebumps tingled throughout my body as Roman’s muffled moans vibrated against my tongue. The flashlights on our phones bathed the dark and desolate arena in a wash of white light. We couldn’t see anything past what was directly in front of us, but it was still somehow perfect.

“You tryna start somethin’, baby?” Roman murmured. I could feel him smirking as his lips and tongue trailed along my cheek, along my ear, then down to my neck.

I let out a short laugh, the sound getting cut off as Roman’s teeth and tongue grazed over a sensitive part of my neck.

“I’m not.” I said in a poor excuse for an innocent tone “… But since you brought it up.” Our whispered voices and light laughter seemed to carry throughout the empty building, and I extricated myself from Roman then I stood up on the apron and made my way into the ring guided by the light on our phones.

We resumed kissing as Roman hauled me onto the top turnbuckle, bringing us at eye level with each other. I wound my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me as my cock woke up, begging for Roman’s attention. Realizing where this was headed, a thought rose up in my head.

“Think anyone’s fucked in a wrestling ring before?” I panted as Roman’s hands made quick work of unbuckling my belt and slipped inside my boxers to take my hardening cock out. I groaned as Roman spread the beading precum around the head of my cock and his firm grip gave me electric tingles up and down my spine. I held tight to the ropes next to me as he began to pump his hand up and down.

“I dunno. But if no one has, I know we’re about to change that. Aren’t we?” Roman said and he smirked as he then bent forward to bring my cock into his mouth. The delicious wet heat that wrapped around me effectively cut off any other thought in my head and I brought one hand over the back of Roman’s head. His head bobbed, his tongue swirled, and lewd slurping sounds could be heard throughout the starkly quiet arena. We got each other off with our mouths until we couldn’t take the anticipation any longer and Roman gripped my hips to get me off the turnbuckle. We didn’t bother removing our clothes fully, too fervent and frenzied to care.

I held onto the ropes, resting my temple on one of the buckles as I looked over my shoulder at Roman. I moaned as I watched him stroke himself for a moment before he let some of his spit drizzle down onto my hole and his fingers opened me up slowly, carefully. Despite his care, the second he entered me, I shut my eyes tightly and cursed at the burning stretch. My muscles tensed until Roman reached around to grip my cock once again, giving it firm strokes. I let out another curse, but this time it was in pure ecstasy as the burning ache was slowly transforming into total pleasure. Roman’s moans as if he never felt anything better in his life than being inside of me egged me on too, and before I knew it, I was meeting his thrusts using the ropes as leverage.

“Shit! Fuck yeah, baby… you like that? You okay?” Roman breathed against my ear, taking my earlobe into his mouth as he continued to stroke my cock, making me see the entire solar system behind my closed eyelids. His warm skin pressed against mine and I moaned at the skin-to-skin contact. I nodded frantically, unable to form words as I slowly felt my balls begin to tighten signaling my release.

“C-come with me… please…” I stuttered. I whimpered as Roman’s fingers dug into my hip as his other hand continued to bring me closer and closer to the edge. I could hear that he was close as his breath hitched more and more with every thrust of his hips. I heard him let out a winded chuckle. No doubt he was enjoying this out-of-character attitude I was displaying just for him.

We couldn’t see anything past what was directly around us. But somehow, it was all still absolutely perfect.

“I fuckin love you so much, baby. You want me to come inside you? Huh? Tell me- talk to me, baby. Tell me how much you want.” Roman whispered in my ear, grunting as my walls squeezed him tight in response.

“I want it, I want it. Please, Ro…” I babbled in response.

After we came down from our highs, we took a look and laughed at the wet spots I left on the buckle and we got to work, finding cleaning supplies to clean up as best we could before we left for the hotel.

“We should do that again…” I said as Roman drove.

He gave me a side eye, and he didn’t give me a verbal answer. But I didn’t miss the coy smirk filled with promise playing on his lips.

#roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns x male reader #roman reigns smut #wwe smut #wwe fic #wrestling smut #roman reigns

[mayumiiyuu]

Eddie x reader

Where she hits a bully with a lunch tray because they’re making fun of Eddie for something stupid because she don’t take none of that shit

I love violent reader insert

A/N: i too, love violent reader insert, with all my anger issues (which I should prolly talk to my therapist about) I too would smack anyone with a lunch tray if they made fun of the love of my life.

e. munson || violent delights

tw: mentions of (well deserved) violence against douchebags

While you were relatively new at Hawkins, only having lived there for about two years when you transferred in your sophomore year of high school, you had earned quite the reputation for yourself as none other than the badass of Hawkins High.

It wasn’t that you were mean or unnecessarily cruel, the basket ball team douchebags had already taken the title as bullies of the school anyhow, it was just that you were frank, brutally honest, and utterly allergic to bullshit.

You didn’t bother with the stupid made up rules about cliques being unable to mix, despising the social hierarchy with all your heart and soul, you were friends with the people you wanted to be friends with, from all different sorts of groups. From the funny band kids to some of the less pretentious, nicer cheer leaders, to even some of the nerds that played dungeons and dragons, you only ever made space in your life for genuine people, people who could be their most authentic selves without worrying about the status quo.

Your reputation as an absolute badass first started when you called out your old, racist, sexist, homophobic, and all-things-a-bigot-was English teacher who gave you a backhanded comment in class when you wrote about how F. Scott Fitzgerald was a shithead who basically plagiarized his wife’s work and plastered his name on it when you were supposed to do an in-depth essay on The Great Gatsby and it’s themes involving “the American dream”. You smirk at the memory of him basically cowering at your feet when you called out the fallacies he had used when you debated with him.

But, you had officially earned your title when you broke a jock’s nose by slamming his stupid face into a locker when he had made a sexist remark at you right before he tried to lean in an swap salivas with you.

You had been sent to detention that day, and that was the fateful day you had made acquaintances with with a certain metalhead. After telling him your reason of being there, he had applauded you, inviting you over to his club to join in on one of his campaigns. Unable to refuse as you had wanted to get to know him more, you agreed.

From then on, you found yourself constantly within the company of Eddie Munson.

You liked him, with his whole eccentric personality, witty remarks, and weird sense of humor, you had become friends with the boy fairly quickly despite his outcast status—which, of course, you didn’t give a damn about. He made you laugh the hardest you had ever felt, stomach aching to the point you swore if you laughed anymore you’d grow a six pack; he was someone you often sought out for to have some of the most interesting, thought provoking conversations. Despite his carefree demeanor and utter lack of concern for his academics, you had observed that Eddie was actually really smart, able to dismantle societal concepts with his disdain for conformity, hell, you even admired the guy for his open mindedness.

Though you had made friends, you could only ever really count them on the fingers of one of your hands, as people were too intimidated by your blunt demeanor to approach you. That, combined with your resting bitch face, made it hard for people to view you in a warm and welcoming perspective.

But you had decided long ago that whoever was too intimidated by your aura and sharp eyes weren’t worth your time. If your reputation and the rumors they had heard of you honestly made them hesitate to befriend you, they weren’t people you wanted in your life anyway.

Currently, you sat at a lunch table with Eddie and the other members of Hellfire, throwing your head back in laughter as you cackle at one of Eddie’s snarky jokes about the popular crowd.

As if they had heard him, Eddie’s own sworn enemy stands from his seat and makes his way towards your guys’ table.

Ever the observant one, you had spotted him get up from his seat, by scanning his body posture with his clenched hands as well as the look of contempt in his eyes, you silently prepared yourself for battle.

As he saunters over to the table, a few of the other basketball jocks following behind him, you let out a tsk.

Didn’t even have the fucking balls to come here himself, no, he had to bring in reinforcements.

The glare you send him almost makes him want to turn back and torment the D&D nerds another day, but since he was a man with his pride on the line, he very idiotically ignored his gut feeling.

You intertwined your fingers together, propping your elbows on the table as you rested your chin on your hands, eyeing his movements carefully.

The others quickly catch on, the freshmen, who you knew as Mike and Dustin, quickly avert their gaze and freeze like deer in the headlights, as if Jason Carver was a T-Rex: he can’t see you if you didn’t move.

But if Jason was a T-Rex, you were motherfucking Godzilla.

He flashes them his signature smile before Eddie rolls his eyes at him.

“What do you want, Carver?”

“Oh y’know, just wanted to see what the freak show was up to—hey, didn’t anyone tell you guys the circus left town the other day?” The blonde says sarcastically as his goonies laugh at his weak ass joke.

You stay silent, thinking that maybe, just maybe, in that pea sized brain of his, he would somehow find some common sense and realize what the hell he was getting into.

“Fuck off, will ya?” Gareth replies, exasperated from the jock’s incessant attempts of intimidation and bullying.

“And the geek speaks!” Jason cries. “What, you guys feeling brave now that (last name) is sitting at your table?”

Eddie stands, his form most definitely towering over Jason’s, in order to defend his friend.

You only pay half attention to whatever Eddie says to him, glare glued onto Jason, laying patiently, silently in wait for that jackass to give you a good reason to knock him into next Tuesday.

Whatever Eddie says to him riles him up more than Jason reckoned.

The blonde laughs, the sound devoid of any amusement at Eddie’s words.

“Why don’t you take you and your satanic cult and get the hell away from here, yeah? Or, better yet, why don’t you jump off a bridge? Doubt anyone’ll miss you,” every word that comes out of his mouth makes you want to claw his eyes out. “You’re nothing but a freak, Munson, no one fucking wants you around. Bet your parents left you with your uncle because they couldn’t stand to see what an utter disappointment their child was—or, maybe they couldn’t find it in themselves to love a freakish monster like you.”

Good, you thought, that sentence was reason enough for you.

You grab your lunch tray, lowering in order for him not to catch onto what you were about to do next.

You plaster a smile on your face, which had him somewhat fooled. He smiled back at you warmly.

“(y/n), come on, why don’t we escort you away from these freaks,” He starts, gesturing you over to him and his friends.

Tch, typical meathead jock, not a single thought in his brain. Had he seriously not noticed the look of pure death in your eyes?

“Of course,” your voice is nauseatingly, sickeningly sweet that it sends a shudder up Jason’s spine. “But, first—“ were the last thing Jason heard before you lifted up your lunch tray high in the air as you swung it at him, hitting him smack dab on the face.

He lurched backwards at the force you had hit him with, blood coming out his nostrils as his friends caught him before he could land on the floor.

Too bad, you would’ve loved to see that.

Eddie and the rest of your friends are absolutely stunned, while at the same time admiring how gracefully and effortlessly you had just attacked the captain of the basketball team.

As Jason somewhat regains his consciousness, he wiped the blood that had started to dribble from his nose onto his upper lip, panic and shock written all over his face.

You bend your knees slightly as you lean in towards him, his so called friends too chicken to even try to defend their captain from your wrath.

“Next time you try that shit again,” you start, placing the lunch tray down on the floor. “It’ll be the last thing you ever do, mkay?”

He stammers, hands shaking under your vicious stare.

“Nod if you understand.” You say, ensuring the message got to him loud and clear.

He gulps, nodding his head slowly.

“Good.” You state, flipping your hair as you waltz your way back to your seat, sipping your apple flavored juice box.

The whole cafeteria looks at you with the same and utter shock Jason had just given you, murmuring to themselves about the scene that had just unfolded while Jason was basically carried by his friends that acted like his crutches.

Eddie sits down and exhales. “That, was the single most amazing thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life,” he looks to you, veneration in his eyes as he chuckles. “All hail (y/n)!”

The group continues to chant Eddie’s statement, banging their fists on the table as they praise you. You roll your eyes playfully at their antics before standing up to take a bow.

Suddenly, you freeze, and all commotion in the cafeteria comes to a halt as a well dressed man strode his way towards you.

Through all your time in his office, you recognize the man instantly.

“Principal Higgins,” Mike breathes out as he glances towards you worriedly.

“(y/n), to my office, now.”

You turn around slowly, slumping your shoulders as you follow his orders.

“Yes, dad.” You groan inwardly.

But as you catch sight of Eddie giving you a smile, his eyes twinkling with mischief, you can’t help but feel the pride swell in your chest.

Detention, suspension, community service, or even having to clean up the garage, whatever punishment your father had in store for you would be worth it.

#eddie munson #stranger things x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic

[thorraborinn]

I know you have done posts about the etymology of the name Sigyn, but what I was wondering was if you might know where the idea that she's a Valkyrie comes from? I see a lot of posts on here saying that her name means friend of victory and that means she was a badass Valkyrie serving Odin, which doesn't make any sense or seem likely to me. I honestly feel this way because of stanza 22 of Lokasenna, wherein Loki calls out Odin's treatment of humans in battle, which makes me question why he would marry a Valkyrie. I don't know, maybe someone else can answer this, if not. I'm going to write a post about my continued quest to find more fun books about Norse mythology and Loki especially, so I will most likely mention it in that.

I agree with you that the theory that Sigyn is a valkyrie is not correct. I'm not sure where it originated, but there are a few reasons that I am not surprised that people believe it.

Sigyn has been studied and debated for well over a hundred years, but nobody really proposed a good etymology for her name until 2017, and he did it in a very dense linguistics paper that's difficult for most people to understand. Especially in his second, more verbose paper on the subject, he also included a lot of comparative Indo-European mythology that most people rightly regard as speculative and outdated, and while it doesn't ruin his etymological argument, some non-linguists might object to it and find the author less credible because of it.

The element sig- or sigr- means 'victory' and is very common in Old Norse names in general, and occurs twice in Valkyrie names (Sigrdrífa and Sigrún). It's much more common in human names, but Sigrdrífa is an important enough figure to stand out and probably adds to the perception that sig- names are typical of valkyries.

We are now fairly certain that Sigyn's name is actually Sígyn with a long i, so it isn't 'victory' at all, and most likely originally meant something to do with pouring liquid, but again, this was only formally demonstrated in 2017 in a paper that few people have read. So the 'victory' interpretation prevails for now. It had a 100+ year head start, and it will take a long time for Ginevra's new etymology to reach people.

Since deity names usually have some connection to the deity's role, domain, or actions they perform in myth, it seemed for a long time like there was an unanswered question about what exactly Sigyn did that was victorious enough to be named that. Deciding that she must be a valkyrie is a neat solution to that question, because it would mean she doesn't have to acquire victory herself, but because valkyries pertain to granting or withholding victory in general it would make sense for a valkyrie to have that name.

The last thing that I can think of is that it could be an extension to a theory about why Loki is hanging around with the æsir to begin with. It's a common theory that Loki's mother Laufey was an áss and that's why he took her name as a matronymic rather than his jötunn father's. But it also makes some sense to propose that he married into the æsir. It's enough to suggest that Sigyn is an áss, but to say that she is a valkyrie ties up the previous two points and connects it to this one, because valkyries pertain to the æsir through Óðinn, even without really being æsir themselves.

So basically, it's a nice, neat theory that cleanly ties up a lot of loose ends, it's just that whenever you find one of those in the field of Norse mythology it's almost always wrong.

[Edit] I should also add that I understand that for some people this is really more of a gut feeling interpretation and that many people have found meaning in the 'victory-friend(fem.)' interpretation even while understanding that it isn't etymological, I'm really not trying to dismantle any of that, but just to clarify what's represented directly in medieval texts.

#sigyn #sígyn #avatar216

[leviathans-watching]

Hello! Hope you're doing well hope you dont mind this request- Not sure if you've done this but may I request the om brothers reacting to a slow learner mc?;;

I am one slow learner aha-

Thank you in advance and do take your time!

the brothers with a slow learner

includes: the brothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .7k | rated t | m.list

a/n: thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy it!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come drop by! i don't bite lol.

please reblog <33333

➳ lucifer realizes the issue fairly early on. after all, he is in charge of monitoring your task progress, so he knows that the, ah, relative lack of it isn’t because you didn’t try. not wanting to embarrass you, he doesn’t bring it up directly, but instead reworks the talk plan to try and make it more manageable for you. he also casually slides in offers for help and makes sure you’re aware that you’re more than welcome to sit in on any of his sessions with his brothers. overall, you seem to do a lot better and he’s glad that he can facilitate the best experience for you possible.

➳ mammon is glad he’s not the only one! oftentimes, he feels like he falls behind his brothers and it’s definitely a sore spot, so to find someone else with similar issues is such a weight off his back. you work together on a lot of things, helping each other where possible, and it makes asking for help a lot less scary as he doesn’t have to worry as much about coming off as stupid or like he’s not trying. you also do a lot to help him, dismantling those assumptions about him in other people’s eyes.

➳ levi isn’t the most studious, but tends to pick up on things quickly, which is the opposite of you, as you spend a lot of time with your books but need more time to synthesize and understand the content. eventually, he asks you about it, trying to explain he doesn’t mean any harm and just wants to help, which leads to you feeling more comfortable coming to him and asking questions. he also helps you find trustworthy study sites as all of the human-world ones you used to use were no longer applicable.

➳ satan didn’t really pay enough attention to notice the info until you come to him on your own accord, explaining how you’re having trouble with the new material, especially since you’re missing so much of the background those who have been at rad for a long time have. it becomes common for him to pass along his notes and annotations for you, as well as for him to proofread your papers, which honestly he really enjoys, as your human perspective is quite insightful even without all of the demon background. additionally, he uses you for knowledge too, asking you all sorts of things about the human realm shamelessly.

➳ asmo isn’t the fastest learner either, but he usually tries to keep that under wraps, studying in secret when others think he’s in his room messing with his clothes and makeup or going to the library when he tells his brothers he's going out on the town. you find him out quickly, coincidentally at the library when he’s there late one night, and before you know it, you two have regular study sessions. you help him be more open about where he needs help, something that’s truly a blessing even if it’s a little shameful to admit at first.

➳ beel doesn’t really study. he probably should, but hey, his grades are decent and he’d much rather hit the gym or restaurants around town. but he sees how hard you work and not only brings you snacks and a much-needed smile when you start to stress spiral but also pulls you away to go on a walk or get your blood pumping, which you find actually helps you a lot. he also (eventually) gets convinced to start studying more which helps his grades get a bit better and also allows you two to spend time together, which is a tradeoff he’s willing to make.

➳ belphie doesn’t really study either, and unlike been, his grades are not decent. they are abysmal. part of it is that he missed a lot of content when he was up in the attic and is now pretty far behind, but also he’s not motivated, especially since he really couldn’t care less. he also likes how angry it makes lucifer. after a few failed attempts to get him to study and put more effort in, you leave him be, but the guilt starts to eat at him when he goes to sleep in your bed with you bent over your desk and wakes up with you passed out with your face in your book, and attends some study sessions with you and beel.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

#obey me #obey me game #obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #omswd #swdom #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #levi obey me #satan obey me #asmo obey me #beel obey me #belphie obey me #lucfier x you #mammon x you #levi x you #asmo x you #beel x you #satan x you #belphie x you #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #levi x reader #satan x reader #asmo x reader #beel x reader #belphie x reader #anon ask #answered asks #leviswriting