#THIS WAS THE FIRST FUCKING THING I SAW WHEN I WOKE UP AND IM DEAD

[mspaint-flower]

hi it's the uh. telepathic propaganda anon. went on a nurse robot type t rabbit hole and apparently she uh. has asmr videos?

https://youtu.be/aI3ubfIgaQk?si=I3o3t0AgRxk_fE_j

https://youtu.be/cDIuaV6V7go?si=2oZVhk16gftbJyc3

https://youtu.be/LevBYbWRLS4?si=uF2sgswRMCQ4MycZ

these are the ones that i found. dunno just thought it'd be interesting

HGELP IKM FUCKNG CRY)NG

#asks #THIS WAS THE FIRST FUCKING THING I SAW WHEN I WOKE UP AND IM DEAD #I KNEW ABOUT THOSE FOR A WHILE BUT IT WILL FOREVER NOT MAKE ME LAUGH #LIKE. holy shit i remember going in a rabbit hole too and #i found this fucking video of nurse robot type t singing chug jug with you #and the whole description was just talking about how they wish she was real or something #and that her stare is ALLURING #I WILL FOREVER REMEMBER THAT #i'm so sorr. i'm so sorry everyone in thsi blog lives with the knowledge that #nurse robot type t asmr exists and it's fucking funny as shit to me i'm so sorry😭😭😭😭

[kruxton]

aphantasia not letting me dream at night most of the time but the only two dreams i remember having in all of my life were the scariest shit ever

#first one was the worst #i was a kid stuck in the car in what seemed to be an aisle between two buildings but instead of buildings it was just a wall? im not sure #i was alone and the doors were locked and there was a blinding white light coming from in front of me #it was kinda like a gas station's strange neon light in the middle of nowhere at night kinda light yk #so im at the backseat trying to get out when i suddenly feel like someones outside and THERE WAS because i could hear a shuffling #it was fast and like if a child was running around in leaves and guess fucking whaf #it was fucking CHUCKY #and he had his little knife and all and he was covered jn blood and i looked out the car and i saw my parents and i wanted to cry #he was rattling the door like crazy trying to get in and i was fucking frozen #then he managed to get in and i woke up in a sweat for the first time in my life #i was shaking like crazy dude i never had a nightmare before #weirdest thjng is ive never even seen chucky???? so why did he come in my ever so rare dreams i will never know #anhwyas that one sucked #second dream i was at school and we all turned into zombies and it was the scariest thing ever #like imagine an all of us are dead scenarjo #the korean show i think is what its callex yeah #i had just finished watchjng it and it camenup in my dreams ig #watched my friends get turned into zombies and stuff it was craaaazy #had to kill.em too and k cried doing it #but then i saw my teacher and he for some unknown reason had PINK HAIR #and i woke up instantly because what thw fuck thats hilarious #did not wake uo shaking for that dream tho so i'll take that one anyday instead of the chucky shit #okay km done #hehe #storytime #text #random

[froggoon]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡

I’ll love you in every multiverse I Five Hargreeves x Reader

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚

Post Apocalypse Au! ( Yes Im writing another one ) WC: 1,791

Summary: The Umbrella’s can understand jumping through time and all its rules, yeah fuck with the timeline and it’ll fuck you right back. But what happens when a portal opens up in the middle of the academy and outfalls a girl who claims to be Five’s wife from a different universe.

Disclaimer: This takes place after season one if Viktor didn’t blow up the moon. ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡

The Umbrella Academy had saved the world from its supposed end. The siblings had lounged around the academy slowly letting reality set that they had avoided their demise. It was the next morning when each of them woke up to check their surroundings, making sure that doomsday wasn’t there.

Five went downstairs for his morning coffee when he saw Allison scrolling for flights on her phone and Klaus checking where was the next place he could buy drugs.

“Leaving so soon?” He questioned.

Allison looked up at him although happy to see her brother, guilty because he was right.

“I have to go see my daughter. After everything that has happened I need her now just as much as she needs me.”

Five nodded his head, understanding where she was coming from, although a little irked she wasn’t wasting any time running away.

At this time a portal had opened above the living room. The rest of the siblings (Luther, Viktor, Diego) had rushed down to see what the loud noise was. It was like Deja Vu when Five came back. In the portal, they could see a fight happening. Figures that had looked like them in a place that looked like their home. A woman’s back came close to the portal, they could see she was in combat but stood observing. Another man who they couldn’t identify, had pushed the woman through the portal.

A girl who looked to be in her early twenties had fallen through. Her face was covered in soot, her hair black as night, and her eyes closed in pain. She was wearing a navy body suit that clung to her figure, and blood, not her own, stained the fabric.

The Hargreeves gathered around to observe this strange phenomenon trying to assess the danger of the situation. They were used to people going after them, so why would this time be different.

You coughed loudly before sitting up, and each sibling tensed with adrenaline. The girl looked around the room with blazing blue eyes before she landed on the youngest Hargreeves.

“Five?” you questioned.

Everyone turned to look at Five.

Luther spoke up first, “You know her?”

“I have never met her in my life.” Five retorted.

The girl dusted off her suit before standing. “Well if you never met me, you either will meet me or I’m dead in this universe.”

“The names y/n , y/n Hargreeves.”

“I don’t remember our father adopting anyone else,” Diego said. He raised his knives, carefully ready to strike at any move she would make.

“That’s because I wasn’t adopted into this family. Married actually.” And with this, she held up her left hand, a beautiful diamond ring shone in the light with a gold band beneath it. The diamond was embellished with 2 smaller emeralds on the side, perhaps representing her lover’s eyes.

“Married? To who.” Viktor questioned.

“To him.” She looked back at Five.

“Well not to him, an alternate version of him. We met a few years ago and got married, thus me joining his chaotic family.”

“So what are you saying you guys are married in a different timeline?” Klaus asked.

“No, not a different timeline, a different universe.” She sat down on the couch.

Your brain felt like it was rattling against your skull, and your body ached. You took a minute to think. Fuck, it was going to be difficult to get back to your Earth. And to make things better you had no idea where to start.

“Alright before you all start firing questions at me, someone get me a cup of coffee, black please.” You threw a jacket that hung over the couch on you to hide the state of your clothes. "Allow me," The alternate of your husband said. Five quickly blinked the two of you into the car and began to drive. "So you and I, are married in another multiverse."

"Correct." "You look to be about my age, how come I haven't met you yet here." Surerly he would remember someone as beautiful as you. "Well it's as I said, my version here could be dead or you might not have met her yet. That being said although 18 out of the 20 multiverses I have visited, we are together." "And the other two?" "In Earth 216, we are strangers, never have crossed paths, and never will. We simply live our lives with other people." Five's eyebrows furrowed. For some reason even if he didn't know Daisy, he didn't like the idea of you with someone else. "In Earth 894, we were madly in love but our egos destroyed us, and we were never the same since." Five could tell there was more to that story but didn't press any further. "So tell me about us, how did we end up together." "I was Diego's friend first, he and I met in the police force. Diego kinda took me under his wing as I was the youngest graduate out of the academy. Perks of having a high IQ. Anyway, he invited me over after your father's funeral. " "Long story short, you fell in love with my charms and I was the only one who could tolerate you. We got married not too long after. It was a small wedding but it's my most precious memory. Our families had gathered together at the church no too far away from here. You cried on our wedding day by the way." Inciting a side glare from Five.

"But...that's where we had some problems." "Do you remember when I fell out of that portal?" Five nodded his head remembering seeing a fight in the alternate dimension. "Well, apparently some of the 43 are not too happy about their powers, nor happy about living among the common people, they believed themselves superior and it became chaos." The two of you arrived at Griddys. Five walked over to the side of your door and opened it for you. "Thank you, darling." You said with a smile. Five's heart spiked at the nickname. He shook his head at the feeling, obviously, it's just what you were used to calling YOUR Five. The two of you sat at the counter and ordered your coffees and sweets. You signed before pulling out a small stack of photos from inside your suit. "This is us and your family." The photo was a picture of you and Five on your wedding day. Five had never looked so happy. Beside him was Luther who he assumed was his best man, next to him was Viktor, Diego, and a man who looked like you. You must have caught his staring, "That's my brother Damien." He nodded and looked beside you. You were wearing a long white dress with intricate lacing, the dress was strapless with a square neckline and had a small slit on the side. Your veil was flipped over your head and flowed down your back. Beside you was Allison as your maid of honor and two other women who he assumed were your friends. You weren't looking at the camera but at him. The next picture you gave him was a close-up of the two of you. You were the one taking the photo. His alternate self was older and had longer hair and facial hair, but he faced your side kissing your cheek affectionately. "This is my favorite photo of you." You handed him another photograph but this one didn't have you in it. This one was a picture of just Five and in his arms a little girl. She looked like you. Five gulped, a million questions ran through his head. Could this... could this have been his future if he didn't make that stupid jump? You said that not all multiverses are the same, you and him could never meet in this one. But that didn't stop his heart from hurting at the thought of missing out on a life of happiness because of his arrogance. "Before you jump to conclusions, she's not ours. She's my niece that we were babysitting. You just looked so sweet with her. You had always told me you wanted kids before but I wasn't ready." You had looked away sadly. In your home, Five always wanted to settle down and raise a family of his own, but you felt like you weren't ready. Now you regretted not because you weren't sure if you would ever be able to get back home. The two of you sat in silence drinking your coffee, both thinking about the what-ifs. "So...how did you end up here. I've been able to time travel but I've never thought about the possibility of multi-dimensional traveling." "As I said there was a fight between us, your family, and some of the 43. They called themselves the Ascendants. Believe to be the superior race." You took a deep breath before continuing. "The Ascendants had a man who could travel the multiverse with his own power, no special gear or machine need. We had planned to capture him but miscalculated. He was ready for us and he aimed to take out me, his biggest threat."

You took another breath before looking into Five's eyes. "I can warp reality. It is essentially in the name. I can manipulate reality itself, altering the fabric of existence according to my will." "But not without a cost," you continued. "Each time I control something, and the bigger it is, the more of my life force I use." Five sat in silence. This was a lot of information to take in. "So what now. How do I help you get back home." "I have...no clue. You were always the smarter one of the two of us." You sighed. It was going to take a lot of research and time to figure it out. "Well, I'm newly retired and have nothing on my plate so let's start at the library come on." He hopped off the stool and made his way to the door. "You coming?" He said turning to look at you. You smiled, he was a great man. Even if this Five wasn't your husband you loved him no matter what. You ran up looping your arm in his making your way out of Griddy's. ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚

Author's note: I got tons of drafts just full of ideas I've had and never gone through with. I've been rewatching the MCU films and Spiderverse so that was kinda my inspiration for this one. If you like my work check out my other Five stories here! I also always appreciate comments and feedback! It definitely keeps me going. She's my Angel Pt1. Shes my Angel Pt2.

#five x reader #five hargreaves #five hargreeves #the umbrella academy #umbrella acedmy #aidan gallagher #five #five hargreeves x you #five x y/n #five hargreeves x reader #tua #tua x reader #tua fanfic #tua five #five x you #number five #five hagreeves x y/n

[lunargrapejuice]

LUNAAAAA ily 🤭 anyway i've read a bunch of your fics and i never thought i would like sephiroth until i read what you write so pls pls pls if you can write smth smutty and sweet of seph it would kill me (p.s. preferably after him and reader have their first baby and they've been so pent up after almost 2 years of not being able to do it)

hi babes!! ily too!🥰🩷 im so glad i could help bring you over to loving sephiroth heheh🤭 i did take this idea but i did change it a bit and then kinda ran away with it? i still hope you like it! thank you so much for reading and requesting something!

the sweetest of dark dreams

sephiroth x fem!reader | 6.3k + words

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, porn with plot, un named daughter, hurt/comfort, post ffvii story, violence and drugging (not by seph), he's not pre-nibelheim sane but not crazy seph either?, possessiveness, explicit sexual content, mating press, cream pie, implied multiple rounds, i think that it but please let me know i missed anything!

synopsis: the first thing you saw upon opening your eyes is sephiroth with your daughter smiling at his side and tugging at his sleeve but you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t considered that maybe you never woke up in the first place and you’re still dreaming. is it a nightmare or a sweet dream? you wonder again and again as two days pass, questioning if any of this is even real because how could it possibly be real when your husband who should be dead is suddenly.. here, alive and breathing and making your daughter smile. you don’t know what to believe but all of this feels so unbelievably real it’s hard to tell your brain and your heart otherwise and he doesn't wait long to show you just how real this is.

you’ve yet to decide if this is a dream or a nightmare or which you would even want it to be if you knew.

it started off as a nightmare. no it was so much more than that when you lost sephiroth after the nibelheim mission and somehow even worse than that when you found out you were pregnant. pregnant and utterly alone. on the run from shinra, desperate to ensure your baby would never be known by them, would never have to come close to one of their labs or needles.

then your daughter was born. a mix of you and your soulmate and beyond perfect. the rays of light in her eyes, his eyes, helping guide you through the darkness that had clouded the path in front of you for those first nine months without him and thus nightmare began to turn into a bittersweet dream.

the sweetness of it was easier to take in the more she grew, with each successful day that you’re both free of shinra, but a day never passed that you didn’t think of sephiroth or feel the permanent ache in your chest that had been present since you were parted. and you were never blind to the threats that still lingered. the truth that your daughter shares sephiroths jenova cells and if shinra ever found her.. well you would be sure they never got to her so you would not have to find out and she would never have to know any of the pain her father was put through.

it's what sephiroth would have wanted too. 

nearly six years of you and her, safe and sound, six years of giggles and smiles and you doing everything you can to protect her, a dream you live out for both you and your beloved and when you heard of the explosion of shinra, what sephiroth had done, you had hoped maybe the running could finally be over, but it only took one moment for it to turn into a horror you didn’t dare dream of, that you could hardly take and have relived every night since in your dreams.

“mommy?”

“yes baby?” you replied as calmly as you could and prayed that your daughter couldn’t feel the rapidness of your heart beat under her hands that cling around your neck but you couldn't suppress it no matter how hard you tried.

“is something wrong?”

she’s always been more aware than you know how to handle at times but how could you lie when at this moment everything seemed wrong, so very fucking wrong, like everything you did to try to keep her safe wasn’t enough and never would have been. you remembered crying about how you couldn’t do this without sephiroth during her birth and maybe you were right all along..

you heard he died along with many others that fateful day but there was no mistaking hojo when you spotted him in the city you visited for supplies near the place you had called home for the last half year and the devilish expression on his face when your eyes met let you know he had not mistaken you either.

that sickening smile had only grown when his gaze came to the small child holding your hand, her silver hair so similar to her fathers if her slitted pupils weren’t enough to give her away to him. though you honestly don’t know how much of a look he got of her because so quick you had your daughter in your arms and slipped back into the crowd that frequents this market street.

you didn’t look back but you felt him and others following you.

“whatever happens, just don’t let go of me, okay?” you asked of your daughter, hugging her closer to your body. you had dropped your groceries somewhere on the side of the road to help lighten the load and get you moving faster as she wordlessly buried herself into your chest, holding on like her life depended on it.

she held on just as tightly when she was ripped from your hold by a man dressed in a shinra infantry uniform only minutes outside of the city. like they had been waiting for you, they cornered you against an abandoned building and before you realized it, hojo was behind you and you felt the prick of a thick needle sinking into your side. 

there were a dozen others that surrounded you, some pulling your weakening body away from your daughter as others tried to make her let go of you. you’ve never felt so helpless, so scared and even though you know it’s only a dream this time around, the emotions flood back like they had then. 

“what did you do to me?!” you screamed at hojo in your fight to reach for her but no matter how much you tried to move you couldn’t get your body to do anything and the place where hojo had injected you burned like the heat of it was draining every ounce of your strength and consciousness. 

you hardly heard his answer over the cries of your daughter and the adrenaline pumping through your veins with no way to release after whatever the hell hojo put inside of you. you screamed, unable to hold it back when your mouth felt like it's the only thing that could move or do anything at all. it made your lungs burn with dry heat, you thought they may even burst with how it rages inside of your chest but you could only hope in the explosion it would take hojo and these ass holes with you.

by some miracle it ignited your muscles and you tugged at the hands that held onto you, your strength surprising them and their hold slipped, allowing you a moment to tumble away towards your daughter, reaching out for her with bruised arms just as gunshots echo all around you. 

a gust of wind, like the beat of a giant wing, swirled around you, sending hojos lackeys flying in every direction but you and your daughter remained steady, not a hair flying in the wind. before your hands can connect with her she’s being lifted into the air by gloved hands and when you follow them to the person picking her up, feeling your body succumbing to the serum hojo injected you with, you see sephiroth holding her on his hip, reaching down for you with his other arm, a dark black wing surrounding you like a shield before the entire world faded away.

you awake with the same jolt you had once the serum had run its course, body jolting and gasping for air but unlike then, you’re quick to realize where you are and that things are okay. a weird, uneasy definition of the word but your daughter is safe and hojo is dead and that is enough for you. at least that’s what you keep telling yourself.

it had to be enough because right now nothing else aside from those two things make any sense to you and even the latter you’re only taking at the word of the familiar stranger currently asleep with your daughter in his arms on the plush chair in her bedroom. 

it’s only been a few days since you woke up after being asleep for two weeks thanks to hojos concoction and the first thing you saw upon opening your eyes was sephiroth with your daughter smiling at his side and tugging at his sleeve but you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t considered that maybe you never woke up in the first place and you’re still dreaming. is it a nightmare or a sweet dream? you wonder again and again as two days pass, questioning if any of this is even real. 

how could it possibly be real when your husband who should be dead is suddenly.. here, alive and breathing and making your daughter smile and claiming hojo is no longer a threat because he personally saw to it and you’ll all be safe now. he’ll be sure of it. you honestly don’t know what to believe but all of this feels so unbelievably real it’s hard to tell your brain and your heart otherwise and regardless of whether it is or not, you need to continue to protect your daughter. so even in this foggy state between reality and a fucked up beautiful dream, you do what you’ve always done to keep her safe.

she may be a heavy sleeper but sephiroth never has been himself and you doubt that’s change in the years you’ve been apart so when you sneak out of the house, you hold your boots against your chest as you tiptoe out of the front door and hold your breath with every step until you’re on the edge of the small garden you keep, sitting on the wood plank of the garden box and lace up your boots before making your way back towards the city.

two weeks you’d been asleep. two weeks of not earning any gil and you don’t even know how sephiroth has paid for or gotten the food currently in your pantry. it’s just another worry on your shoulders that makes it hard to breath or think straight but it’s one you can do something about at least. you’d have made better care taking plans for your daughter in your absence had you not been asleep all this time and the fights you planned to join in the undercity for gil being only tonight until next month. you couldn’t wait that long and having joined them before, you know you’ll be fine. thank the goddess there were no lingering effects of the serum as far as you could tell.

that doesn’t stop how sickly on edge you feel the entire walk, like hojo or sephiroth might pop up from the shadows, like you’ve done a terrible thing by leaving your daughter with a man you aren’t sure is real. a stranger, you had called him earlier but you’re just as much of a stranger to him now too. so long without him, your only focus being keeping your daughter alive and safe at any cost and despite your heart with a wound that not even time could heal. you’re not the same person and if he really is the man you once called your husband, the same one who had tried to destroy the planet, he isn’t the same either. 

he had been gentle with your daughter over the past two days of you carefully watching his every move though. she had hardly wanted to be away from him since you’ve awoken and he had seen to her care during the time you were drugged to sleep without as much as a scratch on her little body. she trusted him and though you aren’t sure that you did, you didn’t think he’d hurt her and you’d do your best to get back before either of them noticed you were gone.

your dream replays in your mind as you walk past the place where sephiroth had reappeared before you, right when you needed him. in the moonlight you’d never guess it was the place of a slaughter or the return of someone you never thought you’d see again. it looks almost peaceful in your slowed steps taking in the blades of grass that flatten under your footsteps but it does anything but bring you calmness. 

on the brink of losing it, your mind running a million miles an hour with how to wake up from this dream, how to discern what’s real and what isn’t, you’re thankful the undercity is filled with more life than the actual city is thanks to more than just the townsfolk being here to watch the fights happening in an arena that sits in the center of it all. no one pays you any mind and the endless chatter along with the announcers echoing in the background nearly drowns out your anxious thoughts.

you’d need to figure them out at some point. you know you can’t avoid it forever but it would have to wait for tonight, until you could control just one thing and be sure there was enough gil for whatever your family might need in the coming weeks, until you could feel something that was undoubtedly real to knock you out of this sorry state if for no other reason but your daughter.

like always, you would need to push through for her even when you’re breaking in ways you don’t know where to begin to cover up or fix. then again, maybe you’re just unfixable to begin with. 

having made your way through most of the crowd, you’re nearly at the carved out side entrance of the arena to look over the fight lists and sign up for one’s you know you’ll be able to win against other people and monsters but like he had been waiting for you to arrive, you see sephiroth leaning against the wall with his arms folded and his head down, silver locks covering most of his face just a curtain of starlight. he no longer wears his normal armor but there's no denying it’s him. in the busyness no one seems to notice him either but he’s all you can see.

in a blink, his attention is on you, as if he felt your presence, and you’re frozen in the street, unsure what it is that’s gluing your feet to the ground. fear? guilt? worry? you can’t begin to describe the feeling properly but it's like black tendrils root you in place and make your heart beat uncontrollably, uncomfortably.

unfolding his arms, he takes long strides towards you, his eyes never leaving yours, the expression on his face completely unreadable and as composed as ever. every conscious part of your body tells you to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, all the while your heart whispers that he would never hurt you. run towards him. you push the urge down, remind yourself he isn’t your sephiroth, and when the nerves in your feet finally get the message and move, it’s away from him that they choose. he’s so close to you by then though and you know you only get away because he’s letting you.

you can’t get out the ‘excuse me’s and ‘i’m sorry’s that sit on the tip of your tongue as you hurry away from the arena and back towards the entrance you came from, accidentally knocking into patrons without looking back. you don’t even know why you’re running when you know there was no getting away from him. even if he’s letting you go now, he was faster. stronger. dangerous. and worst of all and more likely than anything else, maybe you’ll realize he’s just some twisted joke conjured by your subconscious or shinra in order to get whatever they want from you.

it’s just outside the dimly lit entrance to the undercity that sephiroth has had enough of chasing after you and before you can stop in your tracks, he’s standing in front of you, the lights of the undercity reflecting back on his handsome features, and he’s quickly changing your direction and backing you into metal wall of the normally closed off entrance with his steps only inches from yours. it’s only the two of you around with the arena growing louder, telling you the event is about to begin. 

he doesn’t touch you, there’s not a place your bodies connect, no where you’ve dared to reach for in the two days you’ve been awake but you can feel the warmth of him at this distance, smell his familiar leather and flora scent, and it wraps around you like a blanket you had nearly forgotten the touch of but you hesitate to melt into its comfort. his strong arms cage you in, not letting you escape his intense gaze and towering height, and on bated breath you wait for him to make the first move, to say something, anything because for two days you’ve hardly had any words between you but it seems he was not going to let that continue any longer.

“what are you doing here?” he asks and you feel your heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice that wavers with what you swear is worry.

but it couldn’t have been, you tell yourself.  he’s not real. this isn’t real. wake up - wake up!

“it looks to me like you already know,” your words are like venom on your own tongue. you hate the taste but you can’t stop it with the overwhelming feelings currently consuming you, that you don’t know where to begin to process. before he can say anything you continue, finally finding the strength to move and using it to shove him away from you with your hands planted firmly on his chest. it’s the first time you’ve touched him since waking up and you’re almost surprised that he feels solid. it steals the poison behind your words, makes you falter and they’re only defeated now. “you don’t get to judge my choices. i do what i have to for her. i always have and i always will.”

free from his caging, you don’t try to go back to the undercity. you know he wouldn’t let you and gods dammit your daughter is alone right now - your feet start to head back towards home at a quick pace, not waiting up for him or looking back to see if he is following you.

“that’s not the issue here,” his voice is close when he speaks again, as though he’s right on your heels.

you stop in your tracks, turning on the balls of your feet to meet his gaze. goddess how is he even before you.. 

“not the issue?” you can’t help but laugh. it feels horrible though, bitter and heavy and brings tears to your eyes. “then tell me, what exactly is the problem because i can think of so many bigger issues than earning gil to keep my daughter safe!” so quickly you’ve lost your cool, every word you speak brings you closer and closer to bursting into tears.

“you’ve done so much for her,” he says and despite the flinch of the words you used to claim your daughter without him, there’s a soft adoration in his tone that makes you think this really must be some kind of mirage meant to torture you further, to break you, and it’s working. he takes a step closer to you, reaching for you with his gloveless hand but his touch never connects. “but putting yourself in danger is no way of protecting her.”

your tears begin to shed without your permission, letting go with them the floodgates of your emotions. this was too much to take, too much to process when you don’t know what to believe or do when years of longing pain crashes to the surface in a suffocating wave. “what would you even know about it when you’ve been goddess knows where - what - trying to destory the fucking planet - while ive been in agony without you?! trying to get through every day-”

you take a step away from him, thankful there seems to be no one else around you to hear your loss of control, to see the way you run your hands over your face and hair and take in breaths that only seem to fuel the heat inside you that is cracking you with ever added degree.

“did you even come back for me after nibelheim? did you know i was pregnant or about our daughter?!” you’re sobbing uncontrollably, unsure if he can understand your words but you couldn’t stop them just as much as you couldn’t control your weeping eyes. you can’t meet his either when you continue, “i - i don’t even know if you’re real sephiroth! the only thing i know that's real is her and even if this, right now, is some kind of messed up dream hojo’s put me in, i have to take care of her in the chance it’s not and if it is then- then i have to wake up so i can save her. i have to do something! - anything - i -”

the touch of his hands on your face, cradling your jaw with gentle strength, stops you in your tracks before you can fully succumb to fear and grief and every little emotion firing off inside of you, before you drown in your own tears. 

sephiroth says your name and though you can’t tell if it’s helping or making your tears worse, you don’t fight him. “you don’t think i’m real?” he asks, his voice deep and eerily tranquil but before you can protest or reply, his lips are on yours, pressing together in a deep, claiming kiss. one of his hands carding into your hair while the other grabs your trembling hands and brings them up to his chest. 

you can feel his steady heartbeat under your palms, taste him on your lips with each kiss you return that’s coated in your tears and the way he handles you feels like a distant memory. you want to melt into it, let yourself be weak and handled by him like you had years ago but you can’t bring yourself to give in. it’s not real and it hurts that much worse because of it. 

with unreserved strength, he presses you against him with a hand now at your back, splayed across you in a possessive grip, keeping you completely flush against his larger body, your feet nearly off the ground in your reach for him. you gasp against his lips at the sudden contact and when he takes in a deep breath, he affirms you as though he had read your mind, “this is real,” you feel the pressure of his forehead on yours and hiccup in your sobbing at the contact. “and you will never be without me again.”

“sephiroth..” you hold onto the shirt he wears, the fabric bunching in your fists as if he might disappear in the wind if you did not hold onto him. in this state you don’t know if you can believe him but so badly do you want it to be true and you think maybe for a moment you can give in, let yourself believe it for the sake of your heart that’s filled with a hope you worry might break you like you never before if it turns out to not be true.

you couldn’t bear to lose him again. even if neither of you are the same as before, there is no doubt in your mind that he is a part of your soul and heart just as you are a part of his. that you will always be tied to one another in a bond you can’t explain in words but that you’re certain transcends lifetimes and universes.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

the front door to the house creaks open slowly and for the first time since you gave in, you break from sephiroths lips, trying to catch your breath in quiet gasps thanks to the tears still flowing from your eyes. he’s carried you the entire way home, with your legs wrapped around his thin waist and his ever present strength helping him support you with minimal effort. he isn’t keen on letting you go now that you’re home either. 

the house is quiet and in his walk to your bedroom at the end of the hallway, you both peek into your daughter's room to see her sleeping peacefully where sephiroth had tucked her in before following after you. you reach down and shut the door and in his next step, he captures your lips once more in a kiss that makes you light headed and dizzy.

he’s quick to press you against your bedroom door as the click of the lock fills the room and is quickly replaced by your whimpers. aside from when you slept here for those two long weeks, unmoving but with your heart still beating, he hasn’t stepped foot back in your room despite the fact it was torture to be so close and yet so far from you. he had wanted to devour you from the moment you first woke up and looked at him with those eyes that were so closed off but still so full of the love that changed him, that made him realize there was something he could not live without.  

he wasn’t well without you by his side either and regardless of whether you believed him or not, he hadn’t known of your daughter but when he found out, all he had done was search for you until he heard the planet vibrate with your scream that shook his soul and brought him to you, never to be parted again.

“have you remained only mine angel?” he asks low against your lips, with an urgency that tells you he needs you to tell him. he gives you the chance, lifting up further up on his waist and stepping away from the door, latching his lips on the base of your neck, nibbling and sucking on your supple skin.

you’re quick to nod, your words following after he has you on the bed and is on top of you, not letting an inch between your bodies. “only ever yours,” you promise and you mean it whole heartily. there could never be anyone but him in your bed or in your heart.

“only mine,” he echoes, the words vibrating through his chest and then his teeth are sinking deeper into your flesh. you hold back a cry, feeling your body break out in goosebumps as you writhe underneath his broad frame, trying to keep quiet. he shifts and presses his hard, clothed cock over your sex, rolling his hips with a soothing lick over the marks of his teeth on your flesh. “all mine.”

the way he strips you of your clothes is such a stark contrast to how he handles your body. the fabric is carelessly ripped and torn in a ravenous fashion, the fibers easily giving way to his strength but when his fingers touch your skin that lay beneath, they’re acutely aware to your fragility compared to what had become of his own body and maps out every change in your own since sephiroth last saw you like this.

he remains completely clothed above you, his pupils the thinnest of slits underneath thick dark lashes that grow heavier with aching hunger the longer he stares at you. a piercing gaze that makes your entire body tremble and burn with heat. a predator gaze. the eyes of your other half that you only saw in your dreams for so long. but your dreams had never been this real. your heart had not beat like this in six years, not even your endless tears could begin to replicate the feelings coursing through you right now and you couldn’t control a single one of them but you didn’t need to when you surrender all of yourself to him.

the pressure of his body against yours once more grounds you, the warmth of his breath and lips on the skin below your ear, his hand that travels down your inner thigh towards where you want him the most making you whimper in a plea for more. at this point you aren’t sure you’ll be able to stop crying but your tears are slower now, your hands tugging at his clothes for purchase or to get them off of him or some mix of them both.

“i’ll show you how real i am darling,” he whispers against you, placing a kiss to the space below the lobe of your ear right as you feel his fingers on your cunt, slowly parting your folds from your entrance to your clit, groaning at the soft and wet feeling of you. “be a good girl for me.”

in all the time you’ve been apart you’ve never forgotten the feeling of him but have never been able to mimic it with your own hands and could not even dream of it with another, let alone follow through with it just to sate your needs. there’s nothing compared to the way he knows your body better than yourself, the intense adoration he shows it and how easily he finds the perfect pressure against your clit that has you clenching around nothing, arching into his chest, and soaking his fingers.

and when he finally sinks two of his digits into you, you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from screaming out. it feels so good, so right, so real. his body lifts from yours, spreading his legs and yours thighs on top of his follow, giving him the perfect view of your glistening cunt. 

“‘s real,” you don’t mean for the words to be spoken out loud despite the fact they echo over and over again in your mind and you say them so quietly he might not have heard you had he not been so keenly aware of every inch of you.

his other hand comes up to your face, the pads of his thumb soothing below your bottom lip in a gentle caress that coaxes your jaw to slacken and hear the your sweet noises as he thrusts his fingers in and out of your tight hole, curling them when they’re buried knuckles deep inside of you.

“i’m real,” he confirms, running his thumb along your bottom lip.

your hands hold onto his muscular arms, your nails leaving crescent shapes in his skin with every lewd squelch from between your legs each time he pulls his fingers away and pushes back into you with skilled movements until you’re coming so quick, so hard, around his fingers. he massages that perfect spot inside of you that has you seeing stars behind your closed eyes, his thumb pressing against you clit in time with his movements and your orgasm rocks your body, adding to your tears that he begins wipes with his hand on your face as he watches you break around him, feeling himself growing impossibly harder behind the confines of his pants at how beautiful you are. 

his chest is full of the anguish and relief of all these years without you, what he thought he had lost that only drove him to further madness but that was here before him now, that he would never be let out of his grasp again. 

a whimper escapes your lips when he leaves you so very empty with the withdrawal of his fingers but you can’t bear to take your hands off of him. you need to feel more of him, all of him, and don’t stop your pitiful movements that pull at his clothes, shaking and needy. you can’t hold onto him tight enough but it doesn’t bother him, he doesn’t make you stop, and his much steadier hands help you take off all of his clothes, revealing every last bit of porcelain skin that you thought you would never see or touch again and the silken strands of hair that tickle your skin nearly everywhere your hands roam.

settling between your legs, he helps you stroke his cock in languid movements, his larger hand enveloping your own, mako filled eyes entirely focused on you, slitted pupils blown wide taking in the sweet divine bliss on the beautiful features of your face, the delicate curve of your breasts with every deep breath you try to take, the sticky slickness of your pussy that makes his hands on you tremble in held back strength and makes his mouth water. 

“spread your legs for me,” he instructs, his free hand supporting your leg helping you move as he wishes. “spread them wider,” his voice falls deeper, your legs shake but not from the stretch. you do as he says and you let go of his big cock to reach your hands up around his neck to bring him down to your lips. his hair falls around you like streaks of moonlight, bringing you back to the place you always belonged and the softness of his lips on yours, the pressure of his leaking tip at your entrance, all reminding you how real this is. “just like that sweet girl.”

the thickness of him stretches you in a lovely ache that you only want more of and he takes it slow sinking into your tight walls until he’s buried to the hilt, all while kissing so passionately to muffle your shared moans, to feel and claim all of you that he could. his strong grip keeps you still, at the mercy of his movements. even when his hands travel from your hips to your legs while he begins to pull out of you just to sink back in with a powerful thrust, they have you at sephiroths will and you easily give it to him.

grabbing onto the fat of your thighs, relishing in the feeling of you in his hands once more, so pliant and desperate, he pushes your legs to your chest, spreading them wide, and sets a deep and brutal pace when he gives into everything he’s feeling that's only amplified by taking you like this. 

at this angle he’s so deep, fucking you into the matress, and with how unchecked his power is, you don’t doubt you’ll have bruises where his hands hold you open for him but you want the proof that he’s yours again. that you won’t wake up to and he’ll be gone. you hold onto him with just as much fervor, your grip moves from his arms and bury in the thickness of his hair, tugging at the roots with every time you feel so full of him, so close to your release again already, and it only seems to spur him on more.

the bed posts move along the ground in time with his thrusts and when it’s somehow still not enough of you, his chest meets yours, his arms barely holding the majority of his weight over you that has you folded in half, whimpering underneath him with every jolt of his hips inside of you, the slap of his heavy balls against your ass joining your quieted cries of his name and his heavy breaths, his sweet praises. 

“you’re taking me so well - ngh, fuck,” you clench around him, greedily sucking him back in when he’s pulling away from you. “my good girl.”

“‘m so close,” the words are breathless, barely there when they escape past your lips and the heat of them soaks into his own that can’t stop kissing you, delving his tongue into your mouth and tasting you again and again.

“i know,” his voice is octaves deeper, sensual in a way that only brings you that much closer. “don’t hold back. cum for me angel,” it feels like a gentle command, even with all the desperation and love behind his words. “need to feel you cum on my cock.”

“ah! s - seph-!” you can’t get out his name before the pressure between your legs bursts like it never has before and when you feel him throbbing inside of you, painting your walls with his seed, it only adds to the ethereal heat that washes over you and leaves you trembling in the drugging, hypnotizing atmosphere of him still hard inside of you, the feel of his body against you, the numbing tingle of your legs as he helps them unfold and settle comfortable around his hips.

he doesn’t stop there. your heart skips far too many beats at the loss of his chest on yours, not knowing where you began and he ended and your hands that try to pull him back to you are too weak to do anything but follow the way he moves you but he soothed you with his lithe fingers caressing your skin as they help you move onto your stomach.

you mewl at the sensation of his cock moving inside of you while he shifts you into this new position. the sticky mess between your legs drips onto the sheets below you but makes it easy to sheathe himself fully inside you with a gentle and small pull of your hips upwards.

most others would be terrified to be in such a vulnerable position with sephiroth but you’re nothing if not pliant and perfect when he plants his hands beside you, leaning down to kiss your neck as he bucks his hips into your sensitive pussy and whispers against your skin before sinking his teeth into your tender flesh again.

“i’m not done with you yet.”

bonus!!!

in the morning you wake up alone but the noise that erupted from somewhere else in the house and caused you to stir eases your heart before your mess of thoughts begins to come back to you. your daughter's giggles and though quiet compared to her own unrestrained shriek of laughter, you could still make out the deep chuckle of sephiroth.

slipping out of bed, you move slowly thanks to the ache in your muscles and between your legs, your steps a bit wobbly with each one you take to dress in something more decent and walk to the door. the more you move, the steadier you become and by the time you make it to the living area, stopping in your tracks to watch your beloved peel an orange for your daughter who talks to him animatedly, it’s a pleasurable hum throughout your body with every movement reminding you of the words he told you last night.

there’s still a lot to consider. a lot of questions to be answered. a lot of healing to be done. maybe you’ll never be back to normal or you'll be stronger than ever. you don’t have any answers, not for yourself or from him but for this morning, you can let yourself hope this will be the start of the dreams you shared with sephiroth since his days in soldier, whatever version of a normal life might be left for your little family.

main masterlist

comments & reblogs would be so greatly appreciated!<3 thank you for reading ♡

#final fantasy vii #sephiroth #sephiroth x reader #final fantasy vii x reader #final fantasy x reader #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #ffvii #ff7 x reader #final fantasy 7 x reader

[myunghology]

so. SLAMS HAND ON TABLE. read this for summary. i KNOW it's a little late but hey at least i did it thanks to @alizaneth for this idea!! mostly crack, im sorry (no im not) TW // i mentioned kinks and mommy issues once

CYNO

- first time you did it, bro tried waking you up. OBVIOUSLY it failed

- when it failed, he just left you there. i mean.. you weren't dead right. right? RIGHT?

- ngl he would probably make a joke out of your body not knowing that ur just sleeping. let's be real

- but let's be fr and serious

- carried you home bridal style once he sees you sleeping somewhere unthinkable. he may be small but holy SHIT is he strong? YES

- plants a sweet kiss on your forehead and leaves

- people have called him multiple times because of you.. so him carrying you is now a daily thing.

- but he doesn't know that you're faking it sometimes LMAO a little smile could be seen on your face when he's carrying you

- you pulled on his arm once when he carried you to bed because it was already late, begging him to stay with our words because babe that's embarrassing! we here do not beg! people with degrading kinks rn 💀

- even though he had so much work to do, he stayed for you

- ugh im so single i can't

- you manage to bribe him because yk he probably isn't getting enough sleep because he's a general. much needed thank you [name]

- he's worried about how pale you are

- guys it's genshin of course there's no melanin

- IM SORRY IF UR POC WHAT I MEANT BY THAT WAS you always look like your frozen.. yk like you can already see your veins through your skin

- encourages you to eat more if you have a problem with that, if that's the cause of you being so pale.

- doesn't look like it but he DOESN'T eat if you don't. you always have to be with him when you eat, if he's not there then it's either him, tighnari, or collei. someone has to keep you company.

- that's all

- btw hey cymps do you not get bothered by his carpet clutchers

AL HAITHAM

- he knows.

- bro stares at you lovingly. he thinks your very pretty when your quiet, he always thinks you're pretty don't get me wrong, but he thinks you're prettier when you shut the fuck up

- sorry that was uncalled for

- police we got another one who carries you when you sleep somewhere unthinkable. but it's in the most stupidest ways possible

- it's either a piggy back ride, or a potato sack carry .. bros feelin a lil goofy. one time you woke up when he was potato sack carrying you and you accidentally kicked him in the face because you didn't realize it was him

- you had to take care of him

- but guess what

- YOU FELL ASLEEP LMFAOAOOA

- Ok sorry.

- now he has to take care of you

- found you sleeping in a cabinet once and never questioned anything you do after that

- his response to "we saw [name] sleeping at [random location]" this fucker responds with "it is what it is" or a "shit happens"

- OKAY let's get serious my bad

- he was actually pretty worried of how pale you were, he didn't know if it was natural or if it was because of your health, and let's say you didn't know either

- he's a lil bit over protective but you know he means well

- once he hears your name in a random conversation, he starts ears dropping, if they're talking shit about you, he pulls them aside to give them a "friendly proper talk" yeah okay whatever makes you sleep at night

- you always look like your about to faint that's probably why he's so overprotective

- yes, you naturally look like that but who knows? he's just worried let him slide

KAVEH

- bro was flabbergasted. he tried waking you up but obviously no avail

- tried calling the hospital. guess what it was closed

- shakes you violently

- I CAN'T REALLY WRITE MUCH SINCE IDK HIS PERSONALITY THAT WELL I'M SORRY KAVEH FANS

- but lemme tell you this he isn't getting used to it

- but when someone tells him they found you somewhere he's so calm somehow? bro sighs but he's sweat dropping irl, comes to pick you up, he doesn't bother waking you up because he already knows the result . . .

- bridal carries you because he's nice, unlike SOMEONE here. you know who you are bro

- “at least im not a free loader”

- al haitham bro stop that

- gags whenever he sees you two arriving, you know what you are, al haitham.

- gets you all cozy like the caring boyfriend he is

- but sometimes he forces you to come with him, best if you don't because al haitham's there too and you probably don't want them disturbing ur sleep since you know how they are!! (i actually just don't wanna explain)

- if you sleep walk then jesus

- JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEELLLL!!!!!

- you may or may not have scared the bejeebers outa him more than once

- sorry his words not mine (it's actually my words) (not false information it's all true)

TIGHNARI

- HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS

- even if it's the first time he's the type of person to know everything about that person when he's trying to approach them

- he's an observant man what can i say. he just leaves you be unless it's important

- has considered throwing you into a pond when you're still sleeping and it's something important

- bro face palms when he sees you sleeping at random places, he has to carry you on his back now, or.. if IFFFF he's feelin a lil giddy then bridal style

- collei tries to help LOL she's so cute, she's carrying all of his stuff while he's carrying you, best student for real

- bribes you into tutoring her when he's busy smh #FREE[NAME]!

- passive aggressive but caring bf .. i want him

- but you obv fall asleep, but you still have notes so she can just snatch them and study it's a win win am i right. no? okay why should i gaf about your opinion radish lookin head ass

- (no im not bullying tighnari im not a bad influence)

- but duh, he's worried because you ARE really pale, asks to examine you with permission because we ask for consent here!! if you don't stop reading and block me and dni

- asks if it's really normal, im leaving ur answer up to you because you know!!!! oh you don't? neither do i

- when you're sick this mf can't tell, because obviously.. headbutts you to see if you're sick, it's a punishment for not telling him

- cups your face and it's so adorable i can't right now i wanna kms

- sorry

- he's just being a little bitch but he really cares about you. source? im a writer and i write x readers of course i know

NILOU

- SWEETEST PERSON HERE unlike some people *looks up*

- always tells you to be careful whenever you randomly go off somewhere because she knows your antics. probably more than you know

- guys sorry we're actually married my bad

- whenever she dances you try so hard to stay awake when ur extra sleepy

- because.. her dances are short and you can stay awake for that long. I think. Unless ur really tired

- but she always let's you slide she understands don't worry

- always places a palm on your forehead whenever you sleep and she's sitting beside you just incase

- she got your back fr, she always covers for you, unless it's really important then she'll lightly scold you for it.. but she's very cute your only focusing on her face let's be fr

- takes naps with you sometimes, when she's supppppper tired after practicing a new dance. obviously you have to help her, so you both are very tired so in conclusion, why not a nap

- flicks your forehead when you fall asleep while doing something important LMAO

- do i have favorites

- always checks up on you, hugs you so fast after a bad day and it's so cute istg

- she's pouting don't talk to me

- also vv worried because you're vv pale! she lays her head on your shoulder while your hand is intertwined with hers because she's looking at the veins that you can literally see right through your skin

- offers to see a professional healer but you deny saying it's natural

- she frowns slightly but wouldn't do anything you don't want to do

DEHYA

- SHE'S SO OVERPROTECTIVE I CAN'T

- you have to be at least 2 ft within her presence. her words not mine but im actually serious

- she will not hesitate to punch someone if they're bothering you when you're sleeping!

- she's almost always there when you take a nap so you feel safe, but when she's not she's probably busy, she knows you won't be going anywhere once you wake up though

- only wakes you up if needed

- she thinks ur a lil lazy so she forces you to take walks with her around the desert because you know staying inside for that long isn't good for you

- but if you're seriously really tired then she won't force you

- carries you around if you're with her and you fell asleep somewhere, she doesn't mind + she's really strong and it's like a workout for her

- at this point you aren't sure if she's your mother or your girlfriend because she's always taking care of you

- people with mommy issues rn💀

- you feel bad so you try to talk to her that you can take care of yourself

- she isn't listening

- you're her number 1 priority

- (real)

©miihai ; not proofread because it's 3:45 am

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact scenarios #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #cyno x reader #genshin cyno #al haitham x reader #al haitham #kaveh genshin #kaveh x reader #tighnari x you #tighnari x reader #tighnari #nilou genshin #nilou x reader #dehya #dehya x reader #miihai works #jian’s works!

[nothing-tolose]

All Because I Liked A Girl.

Part 2.

Warning: death threats, panic attack (?), lmk if i missed anything!

A/N: still kinda short anyway but yeah here it is. english isn't my first language so pls pls i hope u guys can understand t____t love u guys sm xoxo

Part 1.

🇵🇸 Daily click.

You keep your phone on screen after you saw those comments on school's blog. You couldn't tell what's happening right now, too many comments made you so hard to search the problem. You bring that thing to everywhere; kitchen, living room, porch, or even to the bathroom.

It's been two hours since you woke up and you haven't showered yet. You were too focused on your school's blog. You sit on your dining chair with a cup of water in front of you, fingers still scrolling and searching.

'Why there's so much bad comments towards me? Why do people keep mentioning Ellie and Anne in between my name?'

You keep asking the same question in your head. You have no idea. Because, oh really, what the fuck is happening right now? You didn't even do anything wrong before!

And you stopped scrolling when you saw Anne's post.

11 hours ago

@annel1se-torres

oh.. i think.. people should be know about a girl who just stole someone's girlfriend, yeah? been hiding this for months but i guess today is the right time to tell you all. aaanddd this isn't about a gossip at all since it was happened to me:)

i would never understand why did she still can smile so brightly after she stole my gf, oops, i mean.. my ex. sorry my bad ;(

there's no girls supporting girls when the one have NO SHAME 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

anyway, have a good night everyone! <3

You froze. You figured out that her post was the problem of all those bad comments, and that post finally answered your curiosity.

Who doesn't know about Anne, though? Everyone knew her as an 'IT GIRL' or something like that on your school. She was dated with Ellie back then and broke up 5 months ago. Everyone always praising her like she's the perfect one, no one could replace her. Good grades, good looking, good personality. Oh, she got them all.

You were confused. It was 5 months ago, you started talking with Ellie 3 months ago, and started dating with her a month after that. There's a little big gap between their relationship with yours, right? Why did she bring up about that and saying that you stole Ellie?

Did she really talking about you? Or you were just overanalyzing? Absolutely not. She haven't been in relationship after her break up with Ellie. If the post wasn't about you and Ellie, then who?

People in her comments section were shading you and even mentioning YOUR NAME.

@bracchiosoreuzz

I THINK I KNOW WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT :0 her name starts with * right?

@annel1se-torres replied

@brachhiosoreuzz girl i know you're smart but shh 🤫

@butter-cheese777

i fucking agree w you anne, no girls supporting girls when the one have NOOO SHAAAMEEE FOR STEALING SOMEONE'S GIRLFRIEND!

@rainawastinghertime

lmfao, she's ugly tho why did ellie accept her to be her girlfriend? ugh she's not worthy to be compared with you, girl

@77-s18

ugly bitch always steal everything

@plhrmc

she should be dead fr i don't care what anyone says

@dont-lookat-m33 replied

@plhrmc hey delete that, you're going too far

@dont-lookat-m33

are you sure that she stole ellie from you? i mean, they started dating like around three months after your break up. think again, anne. im on your side if they were dating a week after the break up. she's already getting a death threat because of your post. not everything should be about you though.

@77-s18 replied

@dont-lookat-m33 guys it's her!!! use your real account you loser XD

You shouldn't have seen those comments, you should've just see the post. Those comments were worst than the first you saw before. The way Anne replied their comments, and didn't even care about the others. What's her actual problem with you? You both were never interacting before. All you know is Anne's post was absolutely a lie because you didn't even care abour her or thinking about her when you talking to Ellie for the first time until you dating with her.

It was your first time getting really really bad comments and death threats. You were definitely scared. Firstly they said they'll spit on you on Monday morning if you show up, and now they wishing you dead.

You can't stop scrolling and reading the comments, it gets worse. God, they made you scared to death. Your body starts to shaking, your hands too. You hold your tears.

Your phone buzzed when you were about to see more comments on Anne's post. Lauren calls you again.

"Hey, I just found the–"

"Lau, I.." You couldn't talk, words suddenly disappeared. Lauren can hear your breath, and you were panting. "I saw those comments. They–"

Lauren went silent, she took a deep breath, "Would you close the blog right now? Please?" Now she sounds more softer than the last call you had with her.

You nod slightly.

You swear to God, you can't hold your tears anymore. You were too scared, scared of what will happen next. What if they really spit on you? What if they give you a disgusting stare on you? And what if—

Then you cried.

You hear Lauren's voice from the call, "I'll be there in five minutes. Just sit there where you are and don't go to somewhere else." And she hang up.

Of course you're not going to anywhere. Your feet were limp, you couldn't do anything except crying.

Your phone screen was on, you can see the notifications on the screen there.

messages request from ssalxxxx

god i really hope you the worst

she's dating with you because she just wanted to make anne jealous

poor girl

messages request from qwrtxxxx

ellie was never happy with you and anne is better than you, girlie

i'll be waiting for your funeral 💘

You shut your eyes, you don't want to see it. But hey, remember that curiosity killed the cat.

messages from els <33

babe are you okay??

taglist: @backedbeansh

#⋆˚࿔ nothingtolose 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #tlou2 #lesbian

[tragedyslut]

♡ dad, would you wash my back this once? ♡

✶ [ j.miller ] ✶

♡ FATHER!JOELMILLER X FEM!TEEN!READER ♡

🩷 SUMMARY — he abandoned you for ellie, you thought youd never forgive him. alt timeline<3 intentional lowercase, no proofreading 🪽

your father joel miller was a vain man. after the loss of Sarah, he wasn't the same. which, was an obvious thing. having the last name miller gave you a 'higherachy'. people respected you. but the name didn't mean anything to you.

not anymore.

after ellie came around, joel was never there for you. even less than he used to be. the memories of before the apocalypse swarmed your brain. in some ways, you were jealous of ellie. she got the father figure you never did.

in other ways, you were worried for her. you were only 2 years older than her, 16.

joel had his third chance. you hoped that he wouldn't fuck things up like he did with you.

you still lived in jackson, in you and joels house. you would sleep in his old bed whenever you missed him.

you two had left the quarantine zone with and met Ellie. then, you three resided in jackson for a while. Joel promised that he would deliver ellie to the fireflies and be done with it.

but he broke that promise. he left with her in the middle of the night, only telling Tommy that he was taking ellie to a lab in Colorado.

well, to make a long story short, ellie died in that lab. you knew joel would never forgive himself, and apart of you wanted that. he wanted him to feel as much pain as you did when he abandoned you for some girl he barely knew. you did feel bad that ellie was dead, obviously. it isn't her fault that your dads a prick.

after ellies death, joel returned to jackson. you had no idea he was coming, and when he came you just happened to be on guard duty. you were a sniper, thats what you were good at. and you hated being on the front lines with a pistol, it pissed you off.

though today you wished you had just taken the front lines. approaching the gates, was your father. he looked.. broken. upset, to say the least.

you sighed, putting your rifle to the side and hopping off the gated wall to to unlock the gate for him.

he saw you and immediately looked like he was going to cry. it had been months since you last saw each other. though, your stoic expression didn't falter as you simply locked the gate behind him.

" .. y/n. look. im sorry. " joel immediately tried to blurt out. you shot him daggers.

" you broke your promise. i don't care how sorry you are. " you said, trying not to burst into tears.

joel sighed, knowing he couldn't change what happened. he had found that out too many times. with sarah, then ellie, now you.

he went forward and hugged you, not caring if you tried to push him away. but to his surprise, and your own, you didn't.

" kid.. i know. i fucked up but- i want to make it up to you. i want to be here. " he mumbled, you just shook your head.

" you can be here. but i ain't your kid anymore. "

that night, you two were in joels old house for the first time in ages. it felt so right, but so wrong. you stayed in your room the rest of the day, sobbing. you didn't care that joel could hear you, the walls were that paper thin that he could always hear you moving even the slightest bit.

he stood just outside the door for ages, wanting to come in and comfort you.. but he couldn't. he knew that. you needed to come round yourself.

he spent that night cooking your favourite dinner. once he was done, he came and knocked on your door.

" .. y/n. uhm. i cooked dinner. you should come down and get some. "

he said loudly, but he didn't hear anything in response. he hesitantly stepped into the room, and saw you curled up in a ball. you had cried yourself to sleep. he couldn't stop himself, he immediately went over and took you into his arms. he held you so tight. he never thought he'd be able to do that again.

he held you for hours, the idea of dinner being long forgotten. when you woke up and felt him holding you, it only made you start crying again. but not out of pain or sadness, but relief.

" its okay baby girl.. ive got you. i promise. " he said, just glad to have you in his arms again.

that night, you couldn't sleep. you missed him. you had this horrible feeling that he would leave again in the middle of the night. so you got up, creeping into his room. you stood in his door way, until he teared his eyes open, staring at you.

" kiddo? you okay? " he mumbled, sitting up.

" dad- can i.. stay in here tonight.. just this once? " you whispered out.

he nodded, letting you climb into bed with him. he held you all night, just enjoying being back with his daughter. you both knew that this wouldn't be 'just this once', but in a way that was a good thing. you both wouldn't ever be apart again. he wasn't leaving.

#SoundCloud #joel tlou #the last of us #tlou #tlou2 #joel x daughter!reader #joel miller #dad joel

[yanderu-deredere]

taste. (extras)

★ the aftermath of the both literal and metaphorical fuck-fest you had with your newfound werewolf pack

a/n: idk just wanted to put the points of view of the yanderes as their own thing so here's that on here LOL

also i just wanted to write a thing to remind yall that im SOFT and SWEET and its all about CUDDLING here on this WHOLESOME MINECRAFT SERVER

part one (bite.) ★ part two ★ (chew.) ★ extras (bite and chew.) ★ part three ★ (swallow) ★ part four (digest.)

pairing: poly werewolves x male reader word count: 1302

warning: bottom reader with male parts and pronouns, stereotypical werewolf scent stuff, mentions of marking (both scent wise and with bruises/bites)

Mel sighed, wiping himself of with a wet tissue.

If he thought that Isamu and Leonard were a handful, he was really signing himself up for something with the three of you. But, he supposed, Mother Moon knew he'd be able to handle it.

After all, the pull to you was even stronger than his pull towards his other two mates so he knew your rightful place was beside them.

He just needed to get used to cleaning up all three of his mates' messes now.

First, of course, was Isamu because he was for sure the least grumpy out of all three of them. And, also, the one with the most stamina so he'd for sure help out.

"C'mon, pup." Mel cupped the back of the back of Isamu's neck, pressing a soft kiss to Isamu's temple as he whispered in his ear, careful not to jostle the other two. "Careful now."

Isamu woke slowly but, like always, his moves were careful and calculated despite the sleepy look in his eyes.

"I?" Isamu leaned back, resting his bare ass against his ankles as he tried to remember what the hell happened during his momentary rut.

Mel saw when the recognision hit him because Isamu scrambled back, his now deflated knot pulling out easily.

"I-I-I--" Isamu stuttered out, his eyes flickering all over their new mate, assessing exactly what damage he'd made.

Mel knew the feeling. He'd spent a good long while staring too. You were a beauty before, when he first saw you in the forest.

You were even more beautiful now, with Isamu and Mel's bitemarks and bruises all over you and Leonard's scratches littered along your thighs.

"Calm down, Sam. It's fine." Mel cupped the back of Isamu's neck again, pressing another kiss to his temple. "Are you okay? You tired?"

Isamu looked up at Mel, those lost hazel eyes looking so nervous that it made Mel chuckle. But he gave Isamu time to think, to assess how he truly felt.

Mel would stand tall and firm, would be the hard rock that his mates needed to rest against.

"I-I'm fine." Isamu finally muttered after a few minutes.

Mel grinned, happy to hear that his mate was okay. His palm moved from Isamu's neck to his cheek where he drew him close to press a soft kiss against his lips

"Why don't you go clean yourself up, I'll wake up Sleeping Beauty and the three of us can take care of our new mate, hmmm?" Mel offered, knowing it was the only way he could talk Isamu into leaving your side.

Even then, Isamu looked hesitant, his eyes darting from you to Mel and back. Finally, he seemed to realise that he didn't have much of a choice because he slowly nodded and left the couch.

Mel almost laughed at how he hobbled a little.

That, of course, left him with the arduous task of separating you from Leonard without waking you up.

He had thought it would be hard but, actually, when he shifted you, you stayed asleep. He worried you were dead for a second but he checked on you and it really was that they took a lot out of you.

Made sense. Isamu and Leonard pretty much overstimulated you to hell and back just in between the two of them.

Mel wanted to be free of blame but he could admit he was part of the problem seeing as he basically just kicked back and watched.

He carefully laid you back and lifted Leonard into his arms. Like always, Leonard just laid there, giving little to no resistance. HIs head even lolled over, resting against Mel's chest.

Mel pressed a kiss to his forehead and brought him to the bathroom where Isamu was already filling the sink with warm water and readying the towels.

The two worked together, soaking the towels with warm water and wiping Leonard down till he was coherent enough to wonder what the fuck was going on.

"Where is he?"

"Calm down." Mel immediately clutched Leonard to his chest to prevent him from going feral and guarding over your body like an overprotective wolf over its own pups.

"He's in the living room. He's fine. We were just going to clean you up and then we're going to go with some warm towels and clean him up." Mel explained, his broad hand running through Leonard's soft blonde locks "You need to calm down or you'll trigger another rut and he won't be able to handle that."

Leonard panted, his nails digging into Mel's biceps, but he nodded frantically. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you. He knew you weren't like them, that you were softer, more easily breakable.

He didn't want to break you.

When Mel felt like Leonard wouldn't run to you the first chance he'd get, he let go of him and Leonard sagged a little, feeling like his skin was too tight over his body, like he itched.

He wanted to see you but he didn't want to panic and make himself feel worse so he just itched his arms and focused on Mel.

Isamu felt the same. He had better control because Mel had been training him longer but you took that control and crushed it in your hand like paper.

You made him feel so weak and he loved it.

The last thing he wanted was to lose that control and hurt you though so he wrapped his arm around Leonard's shoulders and kissed his forehead before handing him some sweatpants and a crop top.

When the two of them dressed (as slowly as possible, Mel insisted) and washed their faces with cold water, they were finally allowed to take some damp warm towels over to you.

You were still where Mel left you, all splayed and vulnerable, open and trusting.

The inside of your wrist was raw and bitten from Isamu. Leonard could see where he reached back and clawed at the tops of your thighs, near your pelvis. They were already puffing up. There were even various bites along your shoulder and neck from Mel.

They really did a number on you.

Leonard sat down on the couch first, moving you so your cheek rested on his leg.

With the warm towels he had, he gently dabbed at the hickeys and bites along your shoulders, making sure not to scrub or rub and irritate it.

Mel sat down too, gently wiping along the grain of the scratches on your thighs,m making sure to be gentle with them so he wouldn't irritate them either.

Then, Isamu sat on the floor and took your wrist, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he took your wrist and pressed several apology kisses on it before he dabbed at it with a warm cloth.

They wiped you down till all the stickiness and lube was completely gone, till you were clean and comfortable. Then, they dressed you in their clothes.

You wore Isamu's sweatpants, one of Leonard's shirts and Mel's cleanest pair of used boxers. If you asked, it was because your clothes were covered in cum (Mel had a bout of insanity and came all over them) but, in reality, they liked you being covered in their scent.

Lastly, they positioned themselves around you, cuddling all around you.

Leonard plastered himself against your front immediately, his face already nosing against your jugular like he couldn't get enough of your scent. Isamu was against your back, his arms sneaking around your sides.

Mel had the unfortunate position of being under all of you, your head resting against his collar, Isamu's head against his bicep and Leonard's head on his chest.

He'd been in this position enough times to know that he'd wake up not feeling anything in the morning. Not that he'd complain seeing as he loved having all his mates in his arms like this.

Plus, Mel knew that Isamu and Leonard wouldn't be able to handle being away from you for a while, especially when they hadn't officially marked you.

To Isamu and Leonard, you could easily be stolen away and they wouldn't be able to stand it.

So the three of you would sleep on the amply sized couch, comfortable and safe. Mel would make sure of it. He'd keep all of you safe, forever.

#yandere oc x reader #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere #oc x reader #male oc #male werewolf x reader #werewolf oc x reader #werewolf x reader #chaptered #lemony content #melchior #isamu #leonard

[ase-trollplays]

When We Were Kids (Part One)

...s-so... how are you feeling?... ...s-still s-sore?...

Y'all got no idea. The only thing that don't hurt is blinkin'. I swear, soon as I can move again, I'm suplexin' Dan inta next sweep.

...he only picks on you because he cares... ...its his way of making s-sure you dont obsess over everything...

Ya mean like the fact I fucked myself an' can never have anythin' close ta a normal life ever again cuz I lost my fool head?

...yeah... that... ...im just relieved you werent killed... ...i... ...i was going insane thinking id have to bury another moirail...

I wouldn't be too relieved. I can't go out in public ever again with legis an' fleet dogs out fer my head. Prolly got a hefty bounty, too, an' rewards fer turnin' me in. Y'all two ain't safe either if anyone finds out y'all know me.

...yeah... ...when dantli comes back... we s-should all talk about where were going from here...

Ugh, I can't even get my shit from my hive. It's prolly bein' watched or somethin', or it's been raided an' bugged by now in case me'r one a y'all shows up. God, my lusus ain't gon' know what happened ta me, an' he can't come here like yers. I ain't sure he'll wait a sweep fer me ta come back like when I was a kid.

...that reminds me... ...when i was in the hospital... you s-said you knew exactly how i felt when i was being held captive... and that i s-should ask you about your childhood...

Yeh. Yeh, I did say that, didn't I? I'm guessin' this is yer way a askin'?

...yeah... if you dont mind...

Alright. It ain't a happy story, but I'm sure ya already figured that. I guess I'll start from the beginnin'.

I was even more a a hotheaded stubborn shit when I was a kid, if y'all can believe that. Pickin' fights with every troll I saw an' tryin' ta befriend the ones who beat me. Which was damn near all a them cuz fer all my bluster, I was a twiggy scrawny little toothpick, ain't had a ounce a muscle on me. I didn't want nobody thinkin' I was weak just cuz I was a skinny rust.

I was always gettin' my dumb ass beat up an' hurt tryin' ta prove I ain't no wimp, but I did get some good friends outta it. Even had a li'l flush crush on one a them, a girl who beat me in a fight just by knockin' me down an' sittin' on me 'til I wore myself out tryin' ta get her off. I had a whole group a friends back then. I can't tell ya what their names'r caste was, but we were a happy li'l group.

Here's the part where everythin' goes ta shit. When I was five, I was out patrollin' my li'l territory when I spotted a scraggly-lookin' teal prowlin' around. He was a adult an' a lot bigger'n me, but I challenged him all the same. He hauled off an' kicked me dead in the stomach an' told me ta get lost. If I was smart I'd a left it at that, but who said wrigglers are smart? I wasn't ready ta say I lost, so I picked myself up, grabbed a big ol' rock, an' chucked it square at the back a his head. Hit him so hard he started bleedin' an' staggered a good bit.

He looked back at me real mad at first, then he started smilin'. Said I had a lot a fight in me for a twiggy brat. I told him there's more where that came from if he don't git, an' he laughed an' said he'd have a ball breakin' me. 'Fore I knew it, he was right up on me, an' I didn't have no time ta react 'fore he got me in the gut with a stun gun an' knocked my ass right out.

I woke up in a cell with a couple other young trolls. I asked where I was, an' they said I was in the slave camp. Said I was here cuz they were gon' break me, train me inta a perfect li'l pet slave, then sell me off ta the highest bidder. Needless ta say, I wasn't havin' that shit. I made it my mission ta put up as much a a fight as I could an' refuse ta be domesticated.

First handler they assigned ta me was that teal that grabbed me. Since I already fought with him once, I knew what ta expect. He got a lotta good licks in over the first couple nights, but eventually he slipped up an' I was able ta steal his stun gun an' shock him dead in the eyes. After that, they decided to gimme their toughest, meanest, biggest handler.

He was a big blueblood who made us call him "Mister," an' he took that shit serious. I called him asshole exactly once an' he slapped me 'cross the face so hard he damn near snapped my neck. I couldn't feel my face fer a night afterward. Most a my abuse came from him, an' I just know he was havin' fun beatin' my ass every night tryin' ta make me give up.

But I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched, so I didn't make shit easy fer him. He beat me ta shit, starved me, locked me in a tiny li'l cage, an' made sure no one talked ta me'r tried helpin' me'r they'd be in the same boat. His favorite punishment fer me was the post. There was a big wooden post in a sort a courtyard outside with a pair a manacles attached. He'd lock me in, hike up my shirt, an' tear me ta ribbons with a whip. Afterwards, he'd leave me out there fer nights with only a thick blanket thrown over me ta keep me from bein' completely cooked ta death by the sun durin' the day.

He liked hearin' me cry an' scream in pain, so I'd try my damnedest to keep my mouth shut no matter how hard an' how much he whipped me. I'd stay quiet for the first thirty seconds, but after that I could never hold it in anymore. Then he'd whip me more fer resistin'. So many times I was close ta givin' up if it meant he wouldn't torture me no more, but I didn't wanna let him win.

...oh my god... ...im s-so s-sorry... ...i cant even imagine... and i s-said all that--

Y'ain't gotta apologize fer bein' mad. I get it. Ya were in a scary situation, an' hearin' that I never even tried ta find ya when this whole thing was my damn fault ta start with? I'd a been pissed, too.

...s-still though... ...it was s-so insensitive...

It ain't like y'all knew any a this at the time. It's fine.

...how did you get out??...

Heh, that's where shit gets real interestin'.

They kept me at that camp fer half a sweep torturin' me, but I held on. I dunno why they didn't just cull my stubborn ass a long time ago. My guess is cuz Mister wanted the satisfaction a breakin' me cuz ain't no one else been this much a a challenge fer him fer so long. If he let them cull me, it ain't a real win. But eventually he reached the end a his patience with me.

I managed ta get a hold a a fork an' taunted Mister 'til he grabbed me 'round the throat an' got right in my face ta threaten me. I stabbed him in the eye an' tried ta make a break fer the exit while he was screamin' an' cursin' an' bleedin'. A course, I didn't make it nowhere close ta the door 'fore I got caught. Mister was fumin' somethin' fierce, and I didn't even get a chance ta register what he was about ta do 'fore everythin' just became blindin' pain.

I remember one a the supervisors cussin' him out cuz they was plannin' on sendin' me ta The Pit, an' now I ain't in no condition ta be transferred. That fucker cut me open from rib ta hip with a dagger. I spent nights in the infirmary tryin' ta get stabilized an' patched up. I was so weak from bein' starved an' beat on a regular basis that I almost died.

But like I said, I'm the most stubborn bitch ever hatched. I was able ta recover enough ta get my stitches out, but after they they decided ta cut their losses and finally cull me. Mister wanted ta do the honors himself. After what I did ta him, he didn't care about winnin' no more. He wanted me dead. He filled a tub full a water, threw me in, an' held me down with his foot while I thrashed an' tried ta free myself 'fore I drowned. Eventually I lost consciousness.

I woke up chokin' on water an' hackin' the shit out my lungs in the middle a the forest. I figured they dumped my body fer the undead an' the animals ta eat once I blacked out. I didn't know where I was or how ta get back home, an' I was fuckin' scared. But I was free after half a sweep in captivity, an' that was more important than bein' afraid. I picked a direction an' started walkin'.

I didn't have no way a huntin' ta feed myself, an' I was still fuckin' weak as shit, so I didn't eat much a nothin' 'cept whatever bugs an' small animals I was able ta catch. I had ta sleep up in trees durin' the day ta avoid the roamin' undead. Eventually between the hunger an' bein' exhausted all the time, I dropped.

Next thing I know, I'm wakin' up in a hive belongin' ta some li'l jade even younger'n me sayin' him an' his lusus found me. I was still a ornery li'l shit an' wasn't exactly a good hiveguest. He still helped me an' everythin' though. Kept me fed, gave me a place ta sleep. Once I was mostly healed an' had my strength back, I robbed him blind an' ran. Took every piece an' scrap a food I could carry, stole a couple knives, an' I was off. I'd prolly apologize ta him if I ever see him again, not that I remember what he even looked like, an' I'm sure he don't remember me or wouldn't recognize me now.

I spent the next half sweep doin' whatever I could ta survive an' try ta find my way home. I stole, I killed, I broke inta hives, I did whatever I had ta do ta make it ta the next night. When I finally made it hive after that half a sweep, my pa was there waitin' fer me. He waited fer a whole sweep fer me ta come back instead a takin' in a new charge. I bawled the hardest I ever have in my life. Makes me feel extra shitty that I can't go back an' say my goodbyes ta him. He's prolly still waitin' fer me ta come back just like I did last time I went missin'.

...if you want... i can ask dantli to go to your hive and tell your lusus you arent coming back... ...i dont think hes on anyones radar s-since he doesnt s-socialize... ...i can tell him to make it look like he's robbing you s-so they dont get s-suspicious... and itll be a convenient way to get s-some of your things for you...

That ain't a bad idea. S'long as he don't say nothin' stupid'r incriminatin', that could work.

Anyway, speakin' a going back hive, when I finally made it back ta mine after my sweep in Hell, I couldn't function fer shit. I didn't wanna reach out ta my friends cuz I didn't want 'em ta see how broken I was. I didn't wanna look weak ta them, an' none a them reached out anyhow. In just that one sweep, they moved on from me, which still kinda hurts ta know that's all it took ta lose 'em.

Fer perigees after, I'd have daymares a bein' back at the slave camp, weak an' in pain with Mister standin' over me with the whip, then draggin' me out ta the post. I was barely gettin' any sleep, I couldn't eat, an' I was terrified a bein' in water. That's when I decided ta start bulkin' up an' gettin' stronger so I couldn't be taken back there or anywhere else.

Fer three sweeps, I had the mother grub a anxiety. A lotta nights, I couldn't even get the nerve ta leave my hive. I'd get anxiety attacks an' panic attacks when I saw highbloods, 'specially male blues. An' y'all know me. When I start gettin' anxious, I get real mad an' itchin' fer a fight. Even now, I don't hate highblood s'much as I get anxiety bein' around 'em. An' I do also hate 'em.

That's when I started drinkin'. It wasn't about gettin' drunk. It was a way ta calm my frazzled nerves an' keep my anxiety under control. Over time, though, it turned inta a addiction, an' y'all know how well that ended up workin' out fer me in the end.

That's basically everythin' about my childhood, so believe me when I say I know exactly what it's like ta not know if yer gonna live ta see another night, an' cryin' yerself ta sleep durin' the day cuz everythin's so awful, an' prayin' that yer loved ones ain't next or won't be too tore up if ya don't survive.

...i... im s-so s-sorry... ...no one s-should have to endure that... especially not a child... ...i... i...

C'mon now, y'ain't gotta cry about it. It sucks, but it's in the past now, an' fallin' ta pieces over it ain't gon' fix nothin'.

...i... i know... but...

It's okay, I get it. If it'll make ya feel better, go ahead an' cry it out. I can hold ya if ya want.

...but arent you s-still sore?...

Not so sore I can't comfort my pale. It ain't gon' kill me, so get yer li'l cryin' sniffly self over here.

#things to read #tw torture #Corali Primer #Thiomi Shiaka #Roll With The Punches #Anyone interested in Corali Lore? #Originally I was gonna color code their dialogue to make it obvious who's talking #but I nixed the idea bc I thought it would annoy people

[reminiscentreader]

Love your fics!😩 Can u write one where there is an event the Hawthornes+Avery have to attend but they haven’t left the house cuz Grayson is late and everyone is confused, and then one of his brothers come to check on him in his room only to find out he’s asleep cuz he’s feeling sick, and then that brother stays with him??😭

Thank you for being so patient! I’ve been wanting to write this for a while but I’ve been really busy 😭

Anyways hope you enjoy xx

_________________________________________

Jameson

The annual Hawthorne gala, Hundreds of important rich people from al over the world coming to see the Hawthorne heiress, my Hawthorne heiress. I watch as Avery slips on her deep green dress, it fits her perfectly, she is perfect, “Jamie,” I sit up a little straighter, “zip me up will you?” I make my way off our bed and towards her “of course heiress.” After I zip up her dress I rest my hands on her shoulders and tuck my head into the crook of her head, “you look so beautiful tonight heiress” I reach my hand out to stroke down her braid, “I love you” Avery leans down and presses a soft kiss to the top of my head, “I love you too.”

Grayson

I feel awful. I don’t ever get sick but right now I feel like curling into a ball and dying, I can barely stand up or see and there are tears streaming my face. I hate how vulnerable I’ve made myself, I’m ment to be attending the annual gala for goodness sake, so if I don’t sort myself out in the next five minutes, I’m fucked. I desperately try to make my way to the bathroom but I’m hopelessy stumbling around, tears blurring my vision. What would the old man say if he saw me now? Your letting yourself get sick Grayson? Hawthornes don’t get sick. They are fighters. We don’t let anything get in the way. Kill yourself tobias, is what I would’ve probably thought if he wasn’t already dead.

I don’t know how long I’ve had my head stuck in this toilet for, violently vomiting to the point of passing out, I suddenly feel light headed, maybe I should get some sleep, maybe I should take a break from work? No. Weak.

weak.

weak.

weak.

weak.

weak….

Nash

I clap my hands to get everyone’s attention, “Right ya’ll, everyone here ready to go?” 7 heads nod back at me, “alright let’s head to the car room.” About five minutes into walking Avery exclaims, “Grayson, Have you got the papers we need?” Nobody responds. “G-Grayson?” Everyone starts to look around murmuring, “Now where the hell ‘as Gray gone.” I say looking for him in the crowd of people following me, “Jesus Christ, did anyone see him come out?” Again in response I get a couple of murmurs, “Nobody?” They all shake there heads, “Guess I’ll go find him then.”

After walking all the way back to the house, I was starting to wonder if Grayson wasn’t even in the state, maybe he went to go visit his sister or something, nah, I know gray wouldn’t miss this if he was half dying. I’d stopped to ask one of the maids if they’d seen him, “M-mister Hawthorne hasn’t been out of his wing all day.” I quickly thanked her with the tip of my hat and headed towards graysons wing.

so here I am, stood outside graysons wing I’ve already knocked five times, five times with no response, “GRAYSON DAVENPORT HAWTHORNE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DONT OPEN THIS DOOR IN 5 SECONDS IM KNOCKING IT DOWN.” No response. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.., still nothing, I know how much grayson hates privacy invaders, but it’s for his own safety, he could be dead in there for fucks sake. So Nash kicked down the door.

Grayson

the first thing I heard when I woke up was the bang of what I assumed to be someone kicking down my door, I tried to pull myself up, to see who it was, but I couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything without it hurting, the next thing I saw was Nash standing at the bathroom door, “oh gray” Nash knealed down to my level and pushed a bit of hair that had fell into my eyes away, “what’s up?” I only grunted in response, I didn’t trust myself, “ok gray let’s get you into bed.” He helped me up, I was shaking so badly, I was tired, so so so tired. I fell asleep almost immediately, I heard Nash pull up a chair next to my bed and say something like, “Get some rest gray, please.” He helped me into my bed and the minute my head hit the pillow I fell fast asleep.

—————————————————————

Nash stayed with Grayson that night, and when his brothers arrived home, he did not tell them what had happened, he simply let them guess, when Grayson woke up, he did take a break from work. The night Grayson Hawthorne missed the annual Hawthorne gala, would become a secret between the two oldest Hawthornes, that the others would never found out about.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><> I am so so so sorry for how long this took 😭 I really hope you enjoyed it ❤️❤️

#the inheritance games #grayson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #the final gambit #nash hawthorne #the brothers hawthorne #the hawthorne legacy #avery grambs #xander hawthorne #the hawthorne brothers

[eggyoneshots]

roof confessions

a/n: now see im reviving this fandom with @galalunaboyfriend and what better to start off that than a lance x reader fic also god this formatting sucks but ill suffer thru it

He really didn't understand why you insisted on calling him instead of just sending him a text. He didn’t know why he always answered either, but frankly if he dwelled on it, he’d probably realize things he wasn’t ready to admit to himself even. He always asked why, but you just changed the subject, or said “wouldn’t you like to know” before changing the subject, so he figured you’d spill eventually. Maybe. Lance wasn’t even sure, you were as stubborn as him, which is a genuine feat. However, despite you being his closest friend that didn’t live in the same house as him, he was not tolerant of being phoned by you at 3 in the fucking morning on a school day to talk about a fucking frog figurine you saw over six hours ago, especially when he was resting ever so peacefully for once in his life. Still, he looked at his phone, angry and exhausted, pressing the answer button. You’re lucky he likes you. “YN. It is..” He pauses, staring at the clock for a solid minute, trying to remember how to read. “It’s 3:07 in the morning. On a t.. Tuesday? I don’t remember.” He sounded horrific, considering you woke him up before his usual time. He’s a routine follower, and you interrupted it.

“It’s- It’s important, I swear.” You sounded just as tired, but obviously you were excited to share something. However tired he was, he knew you’d still tell him regardless of his desire to go back to sleep. He rolled over, staring at the ceiling, ready to go through whatever verbal torment you had ready. “Ok ok, so, this was..” He heard shuffling, then the sound of something plastic being put down. “I saw this at like, 6pm, it was in the window of this like, antique shop or something, right?” You paused, staying quiet. Were you expecting him to respond? He grunted, giving you a tired ‘right.’ “Right, and this.. This ffffuckin’ frog, it was… ceramic or something, I dunno, but it was like, staring right at me as I was looking, and I just knew I had to get it.” Lance raised a brow at the sound of you tapping your window. “Look through your window, trust me dude.” He blinked, sitting up sluggishly. Sure enough, you were standing at the window, phone up to your ear, holding.. A ceramic frog. It was small, the size of your palm, and it was just. .staring at him. He kind of gets the appeal. “Look at this thing. It’s so silly.” Lance moved to stare at you after a moment, glaring. “What.”

“You called me at 2am for.. A frog.” You nodded from across the window, giving a sleepy grin. “..You couldn’t have just.. Texted me? Or, preferably, wait for tomorrow morning.” You shrugged, putting the frog down on your windowsill with the other collectibles you had. Did you really keep that rock that he admitted to grabbing from the ground, then used as an apology? (He still felt bad about how he treated you when you first met.)

“I like hearing you talk.” He blinked, slowly processing what you said. Meanwhile, you looked like you wanted to drop dead on the spot. He suddenly felt awake, eyes comically widening. “Hey wow, I’m so sleepy suddenly, ok bye goodnight!” You clicked the hang up button before he could even respond, making him stare at his phone with a completely shocked expression.

“WHAT-” He almost screamed, watching you disappear to your bed, which was out of sight from the window. He never typed so fast in his life, thankful you texted him sometimes. ‘HELLO?’ ‘YOU CAN’T DROP THAT ON ME THEN DISAPPEAR FOR THE NIGHT??’ ‘So help me I’ll break in through your window.’ ‘YN.’ ‘ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW.’ He stared at his phone, waiting for maybe two minutes total until you responded finally.

‘roof meeting’

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He tossed on a hoodie, not realizing it was one you got him because he said it ‘looked comfy.’ Opening his window, he crouched on his windowsill, crawling onto his roof, waiting for you. Eventually, and knowing you it’s because you were doing your usual ‘anti-anxiety routine’, which he caught you doing before a test once, you crawled from your window, sitting across from him on your roof. He just stared at you for a minute, unaware his face was sort of red, before finally breaking the horrific silence. “Are you going to explain, or are we going to sit here until it’s morning?” You made a face, tapping your fingers against your knee. “Well?”

“I’m thinking, damnit!” You looked at him finally, your face basically cherry colored. He let out a sigh, crossing his arms and looking you in the eye. “You know staring at me like you’re going to kill me isn’t helping, right?” You shrunk into yourself slightly, trying to avoid eye contact with him. Honestly, if you were struck by lightning or something right now you would not complain in the slightest. “I just- uh..”

“You just.. What?” He wasn’t mad. He just.. He didn’t even know. Maybe it’s because you usually tell him pretty much everything.

You groaned, rubbing a hand over your face. “It’s just- ugh, I like hearing you because it’s like.. comforting?” You weren’t looking at him as you spoke, afraid of his reaction. “Like, you’re kind of this source of comfort for me, and like.. being around you is nice, and I like you a lot more than I should, and I just really love you in general-” You were rambling at this point, not noticing the almost starstruck look on Lance’s face. You.. loved him? That’s not- There’s no way. He was barely listening at this point, head swimming. You weren’t even looking at him right now, hyper focused on the ground below.

The minute he finally finished processing what you said, he tried, tried, to get your attention. “Yn.” You clearly hadn’t heard him at all, considering you were still rambling. It would’ve been nice, if it wasn’t for the fact he needed you to be quiet for once and listen to him. “Yn.” Even when he was louder, still nothing, not even a glance. “Yn!” You looked at him for a millisecond, but kept rambling. Alright. “YN!” You finally stopped, looking at him, sometimes, fidgeting nervously. “Are you serious?” He’d rather not dodge asking, and get to the point. You looked like you were going to die on the spot. “Yn. Answer me. Please.” He sucked at this. He really did. This is like one of those scenes in those stupid drama shows Ilana watched. Just with less crying.

He kept staring at you, waiting. He was honestly hoping you were serious. What. That’s extremely new, did he.. You were essentially part of the family, even if you weren't like them. He’d witnessed you patch them up after every battle, made sure Oktus hadn’t broken or anything, even when Tashy 497 (Tarax would always be its name to him, but he wouldn't admit that) was dying, you were there for them, somehow knowing what to say perfectly. You opened your mouth, pretty much visibly thinking over what to say. “I.. I am. I’m dead serious.” You looked away for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I’ve.. felt like this for.. months. Almost a year, actually. I just didn't think you’d ever really.. figure it out. Or feel the same.” You blinked, coughing into your fist. “Not- Not that I think you do, if-if you don’t it’s fine, we can still be friends, and I-”

“I do.” It came out before he could stop himself, throat almost closing up. SMOOTH ONE, LANCE. You looked at him, eyebrows shooting up. Huh wuh. “I.. I do, uh, feel the same. I just..” He stopped, brain coming to a halt on how to finish the sentence.

“Don’t know how to show it?” He was always grateful you knew how to talk about this stuff.

“Yes. I.. never really.. went through anything like..” He paused, making an awkward hand motion between the two of you. “This. Admitting it, even feeling anything like it. Not.. Not like this, at least.” He felt like blowing up. Please, if there’s any divine being out there, please blow him up for letting him admit this. “But, even if I’m not really, you know, experienced, I guess, I.. I still want to try.”

“You’re.. you’re sure?” You looked almost surprised, but at the same time hopeful. He wasn’t kidding. He wouldn’t joke about this, he wasn’t that kind of person. “We- We don’t- You don’t have to, I-I don’t want you doing anything just because of what I said.”

“I’m more than sure, YN.” Lance smiled at you, face turning slightly pink. “I can’t promise I’ll be any good at.. Anything in this case, but I want to try,” He looked away for a second, face turning darker pink. “For us both.”

You smiled, your own face becoming pink. “Alright. Alright!” You gave a toothy grin, feeling elated. Who knew calling your best friend to talk about a frog you found would end up like this. You weren’t complaining though.

#lance lunis #lance lunis x reader #sym bionic titan #sym bionic titan x reader #ill make the tags my damn self.

[lunarkittenn]

Im writing this for me. I need to write to let out how I feel. And I’m just really sad. My dad has ALS, he probably won’t even be here next year. There’s nothing I can do. It has sucked the life out of every inch of me, I’m so depressed my soul aches. Right before my dad’s symptoms hit a downhill, I had started talking to a boy I was really excited about. Had a big crush on him and was so thrilled he liked me, too. We started dating, and the first thing I noticed is that he was bad at communication. Arguing with him was tedious, almost impossible because he would get really mad and shut down. Never aggressive like my last boyfriend, but just so stubborn and defensive and rude. On my hardest days, he would take it very personally when I wasn’t super talkative or upbeat. My dad fell at the bowling alley one night and I was absolutely devastated. It’s traumatic to watch, that’s the only way to describe it. My boyfriend didn’t say a word to me, went home and still didn’t say a word to me. When I got upset about it he first said he didn’t want to intrude on my family, and then a little later into the argument said I wasn’t talking to him so what did I care. A couple weeks ago I saw on my dads online health account that it predicted 9 month survival at 80-90%. 9 months. 9 months with my dad. I can feel my fucking heart throb in my chest typing this right now. It’s the kind of fucking sobbing that rocks my whole body. So needless to say, I was pretty quiet that day. I’m having a hard time processing it. My boyfriend got upset with me because I was “ignoring him” “didn’t talk to him all day” which I had been, I was just being quiet, and I even explained I was having a hard day. I mean he should know. He would stay over every weekend. He saw my dad. He could hear how hard it is for my dad to talk. After every fight, he would tell me he was sorry he always takes it to 100, and that he was happy I put up with him and try to work things out and don’t give up. This past week he made a comment that made me uncomfortable. I had pointed it out, he got really defensive. Told me I assume whatever I want, I read things wrong, take it how I want to no matter “what he says” etc. he says those things every fight to me. I tell him okay, we’re arguing, why don’t we talk later. I am not perfect, in the past I would tell him to just leave my house and I was done talking- so I wanted to work on this. I told him exactly “we are just arguing and it’s not productive. Why don’t we talk after you get out of work, okay? Later, just not right now”. He said “bye, dead serious”. I asked what he meant, but he never texted back after work. I noticed he removed our Facebook relationship status. I was very upset and texted him saying I was done with the bullshit. For the next two days, it felt insane because the fight had branched so much I felt weird even trying to say why I was originally upset. Everything I said he told me I’m going to think whatever I want anyway. I wake up at 6:30 am to go to my dads ALS appointment on Wednesday. doctor tells us my dads breathing intake is at 48%. Not good, obviously. My boyfriend? Texts me a paragraph of rude things, including that I’m controlling because I wanted him to “say sorry in a specific way”. He was referring to me saying, all I was trying to do was say “hey I know you didn’t mean this in a bad way and didn’t know. But this made me uncomfortable” and all I expected was a “hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that” if that’s what he meant. Instead he told me I read it wrong. That I take things the wrong way and think so low of him. Bad day. I have a lot of those lately.

Yesterday morning I woke up to him really angry that I removed him from Snapchat and Facebook- but he had ??? Removed our status? He kept saying rude shit and not trying to actually talk with me. He said I must be ready to move on nice and quick if I removed him so fast. I pointed out he removed our status and he said “I just did that to make you mad”. Lol. After more hours of arguing- literally. I finally said “you’d think if you wanted to fix this like you say you do you’d call me or actually answer when I call you instead of texting. We can apologize and move on” he tells me he’s “good on all that. You said what you wanted to say and I’m not cool with it. You never wanted to be with me anyway” which the last part he would always say to me in fights and I do not know why. But yeah anyway I said okay whatever have a good one. We haven’t talked since then. Maybe he met some girl and that’s why he doesn’t care? Maybe his ego and immaturity just really will never let him see how fucking horrid he was treating me. Idk. But it hurts.

Out of all the things, I am just disappointed. I’m disappointed in how many failed relationships. I’m tired of putting myself out there for people, constantly trying to mold into a better person just people to not do the same for me. I’m tired of selfishness. I’m tired of life, honestly. I don’t want my dad to die. He won’t be at my wedding if I have one. He won’t meet kids if I have any. He won’t be here, waiting for a big hug. He can’t make witty jokes. He won’t be able to bowl with my brother, mom, and I. He won’t be here to ask me for double cheeseburgers. He won’t be here to give me a big hug and tell me he loves me. My heart is so broken. I feel so so so broken.

And the boyfriend who I was so excited for, couldn’t take two seconds to realize how much I was going through, and try to be easy with me. To try and improve how he acted. To try and care about me like he so claimed. Or maybe to just not do things purposely to make me angry, knowing how much I rightfully am angry about already.

Hug your loved ones. And if you think your life is fucking miserable, for me try and take a breath, and count the things you are happy for. I used to think life was miserable, now my favorite person on this planet is sick with someone that kills you quickly, traumatically, and with no remorse. And god, is that a pain I have never felt so deeply, and widespread.

[primetimes-primetime]

alright. so, i know ive already made a post about this on my main, but im stupid and went to the original tweet and just made myself angry again.

TW// T-CEST UNDER THE CUT

alright, so a couple days ago i rbed a screenshot of a certain story board artist's tweet about being the one to put tcest in the show.

i dont know why or how, but i found my way onto twitter and to the original tweet that this guy made.

for context, sheldon here was a storyboard artist for Rise and the scene they are talking about here is this one from the Lair Games episode-

i partially explain again why this is horrible and disgusting and partially why i dont believe or accept sheldon's... i dont even know what to call it. his response (the top post in the first screenshot)

part one

since i literally just rbed something about this, im just going to copy/paste my rb and add onto it a little.

" no but when i found out that some of the artists who originally worked on Rise were t-cesters and proshippers i was actually so fucking pissed off.

there are part of this community that are actually god damn disgusting, and im not afriad to say that tcest is fucking rancid and if you support it i dont want you near the content that i create.

first of all, it is literally incest. it says so right in the name. which, i really hope i dont have to explain why incest is bas in the ripe year of 2022. I don't care that they arent "blood-related". They were fucking raised as brothers, treated like brothers, and think of each other as brothers. No matter how hard you try to spin it, no matter how hard you argue that they arent technically related, you have to understand that they see and think of each other as brothers, which should be enough to make this incest.

this show was amazing when it came to family dynamics and brotherly love/trust/bonds. i can say with confidence that the brothers in Rise are much more brotherly/closer than any other previous versions. it's obvious to see that they love and care and want to protect one another. to turn platonic and love for one's family into something so gross and vile is taking all of the healthy emotional bonds between these characters and throwing it out the window.

i cant fuckung believe i have to say this every time i come back into the tmnt fandom, but-

THEY ARE MINORS.

sure, with the recent Rise movie we saw an adult leo, but heres the thing- that version of leo is fucking dead. he literally got fucking beamed out of existence.

the fact that every one of these brothers are under the age of 18 and i still see so much nsfw art is absolutely horrid.

finally, it's a kid's show. sure, many of us in the community are teens, later teens, and grown adults, but that does not change that this show was originally created to bring the tmnt franchise into yet another generation of kids. again, i sincerely hope that i dont need to explain why implying incest in kids shows (or really any TVs shows, for that matter) is morally wrong and vile.

literally yesterday me and some of my mutuals had to go through a lot of our content to re-tag a whole bunch of our posts tagged with "tcest dni" because tumblr's tagging system is actual shit. there shouldnt even be a tcest community, outside of it impeding on the rest of us Rise fans.

sorry this is such a long post but im so tired of seeing / hearing about tcest. its gross, disgusting, icky, etc etc. it is 6:30 am and i woke up and saw this and decided to fucking say something, because tcest has actively made my experience coming back into the tmnt community and fandom worse. "

and i still stand by that. seeing so much tcest- and from the artists on the rise crew, no less- is making my journy back into the tmnt fandom so, so much worse. it is actively hurting a lot of people- which brings me to one specific tweet from this thread.

so, to start- i do not, i repeat- DO NOT condone or promote sending death threats to people or telling them to kill themselves.

second- it isnt. harmless. reminder, again, that this is a

CHILDREN'S. SHOW.

you are talking about MINORS IN INCESTUAL RELATIONSHIPS. "harmless fiction" my ass.

part two

ok. so as you can see in the original screenshot, you can see that sheldon is passing this off as a joke. but i honestly cannot believe him when he says this.

why, i hear you asking. well,

look at the time stamp. 2020, nearly three years ago now, when the Lair Games episode had just come out.

why didn't he say it was a joke three years ago, when he first posted the storyboard clip? because he isnt fucking joking. either that or he is just really so fucking dense that he doesn't realize that what he's doing is not funny in any way, shape or form.

which brings me to my next point.

even if it is all just a joke,

why the fuck are you joking about minors participating in fucking incest?

its fucking nasty even if it is a joke. i genuinely shouldnt need to say anymore on why this is fucking horrid.

well. ive taken up enough of your time- i appreciate you reading to the end and i apologize for making this so long. a quick, final word in case you got this far and are a tcester or support tcest-

kindly fuck off, do not interact with me, unfollow me, and block me :] i dont want your nasty ass incest anywhere fucking near me or this blog.

thanks ! :D

#ooc post #primetimes-primetime

[salvatoreren]

I finally watched AOT's last episode and frankly, I am not okay, I have been sobbing a river oh my fucking god.

Anyways, it was really good, as expected of MAPPA anyway, I was pretty much crying the whole episode actually.

I have complaints, mostly because of the not included anime, little things like not having the flashbacks of Armin of reading a book in the rain, the squirrels etc. etc. I would have love to see them in the market and the way to the boy who sought freedom, goodbye was not implemented, I WAS WAITING FOR THAT COME ON

The anime only scenes were good too, like Levi giving food to the refugees, falco and gabi, i wish we saw their outfits tho, they slayed with that one.

the way they played 13 no fuyu, im killing myself, ive been listening to that shit since 2022 which mind you was when i was active once more in aot, the fucking flashbacks my god, that was so tragic RAHHH

i also saw aot's op, EREN WITH A BOW? EREN WITH A BOW!!! MIND YOU I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE HUNGER GAMES SO IMMEDIATELY IM LIKE YES YES IT'S GIVING KATNISS EVERDEEN, WITH WHAT HIM BEING HUMANITY'S HOPE, ESP WITH THE FIRE COMING OUT OF IT FORMING A BIRD

THE SAME BIRD WE SAW ON S4 ENDING 1, oh my god, the opening was really cool omg, it perfectly showcased eren's journey, what he went through, despite being absent in the final chapters, it still showed Eren was still the protagonist...Which isayama did not understand when he made 139

Yes, I am bitter still with the ending, no, I am not hearing anyone out and no, I am not going to pour my disappointments with it STILL, here because yeah.

It's such a shame that's the last and final time we'll ever see it, devastating tragedy omg.

ARMIN AND EREN'S FINAL INTERACTION, IM GLAD THEY MADE THEM HOLD HANDS, THANK YOU MAPPA, PLS THE WAY THEY'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND WILL BE WAITING FOR EACH OTHER IN HELL, GAGGED, IM DEAD, MY ROMAN EMPIRE FOR REAL

Now that's out of the way.

It's been a long and fun ride, regardless, the final season has been going for what three years, i've been with this series for three years, it was fun really it was, this series took such a simplistic and cliched approach then twisted into something more complex and truly gutwrenching. 2020 was nothing without AOT, in my opinion, watching AOT broadened my media consumption, yanked me into the anime world and i already have so many fandoms i'm in.

2020 was a hard time too, i couldn't have done it without this bloody series, god, i remember aboarding the train hype, everything was everywhere, fics, art, videos, memes etc. All those I read influenced my writing style, all those theories made me think more critically, those memes and videos of it made me laugh. It's funny how a series like this one comforted me so much.

I remember being so traumatized by the first episode i'm like who the fuck would ever like this series with this much blood and that night i immediately searched for eren fics because i was like who is this boy i like him, i fucking dreamt of the beast titan, all those nights racing with my sister who could finish the series first, i literally woke up at 4 just to watch it before she could.

Fucking terrified which of my favorite characters were going to die next, literally sobbing over armin's death, god and the mindfuck with Marley and Eldians and Subjects of Ymir in the fray oh my god.

Can I just say, I wouldn't be who I was without AOT? Even with my cynical behavior, it's all because of it.

2021 who i never fail to reiterate and think fondly is good because of AOT as well, I figured wow, the final season is coming back, I should rewatch it again and so the hyperfixation began, i was sick too, almost dying too actually, dengue is dangerous and it was just a fond memory because i was watching aot and i acted like i never had watch these scenes in my life and despite feeling like dying i felt okay.

I was so batshit crazy when part 2 came out, that was the one that was actually peak AOT don't lie, I was literally screaming like i was giving birth OVER AN OPENING AND AN ENDING, i'll never forget any of it.

When I cried watching the whole episode, it really just occurred to me that this is really the end for AOT, i was only ever able to go through it because I have the anime and it what really kept the whole fandom alive, the anime's honestly the reason why it had this many fans as you can see.

And again the way it's heartwrenching for it to just be a simple series and then it's full blown war, jean and reiner holding out to each other, remembering how they used to be close and comrades then betrayals and war happened and it's all ruined.

The devastating realization of seeing the last few panels animated, watching the end flash through the screen, realizing there was nothing out of this now, no more next episodes, no more hype, it's gone and it's so devastating because how happy it made you, the way you'll never see these characters again, only in rewatches or art. But it's not the same.

I admit I don't feel as hyperfixated over it now, after getting burnt out of it last year, even good things go badly sadly and i was just here for eren now, but doesn't change the fact this series has nurtured my quarantine, i grew up with this series even if it was only recent, who changed the trajectory of my life and had me find my paths.

I'll never forget these characters who made my life, who brought life to the story, even if they were just moved by the plot now, i'll always have a soft spot for AOT, i will always love it, regardless how much i hate it, there will always be fondness within it.

It's kind of weird, really to see Levi who has done so much to the fandom just by existing and being drawn and animated now cease to exist? I suppose, looking at him feels weird like imagine comparing 2014 levi to 2023 levi now omg, that's where you really begin to realize how much time has passed and how much AOT has evolved AGAIN JKSDHJ

well, i'm still on eren's side, still hate what happened to him but i'll always love him, he is such an important character to me, i don't think i truly ever loved someone like him despite representing the total opposite of me, he just had that charm i suppose, his views are so hauntingly beautiful, idealistic, him representing hope, despite what he did, in the end he did what he could for himself and for his people IN MY HUMBLE ONION

eren yeager i'll always love you

i'm kinda scared what would happen to this fandom now, will it die now? Will it live? I doubt, I haven't even finished my eren fic and lol, either way i hope someone will still enjoy AOT, i hope still there will be new watchers.

This is long but this is just how I really feelt about AOT which I wholeheartedly do love and cherish with all the memories and the pain it gave.

Thank you Isayama for this world, for these characters, for these mindblowing revelations about war, life and freedom, for the heartaches and the joy.

Thank you WIT for raising AOT and truly breathing life to it, for garnering fans for it to be more appreciated.

Thank you MAPPA for continuing WIT's legacy, you are not the same but still delievered, thank you for carrying the final season and the fandom on your back, may you sleep well and have your deserved pay.

Thank you for the voice actors who breathed those memorable lines to be used in edits.

Thank you Linked Horizon for coming back, aot was iconic because of your openings.

Thank you AOT for everything.

#shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #attack on titan #thank you aot #thank you isayama

[i-go-by-whatever]

uh this is gonna be me processing how i feel one year after the news of technoblades passing. skip this one.

it was 10am on july 1st when i learned of the news. the first thing i saw when i woke up was dreams tweet and i just saw 'fuck cancer' and my heart fucking dropped. in that split second i was thinking 'oh no, did it get bad again?' i didnt think that he died. i had hope. when i watched the video and listened to his last words, my heart was shattered and i simply did not know what to do but cry for hours.

i had just got out of a week long 'down' state, when i had felt the worst ive been in years and i had one good day before i heard the news. i fell back into the sadness and it sucked. it sucked so bad.

every few hours id go on twitter and see more people react to it throughout the day. i watched as his family, friends, and community mourned him. every passing tweet made me cry. technoblade meant so much to a lot of people. he meant a lot to me too. and his death hit me so hard i was blindsided by the pain.

its an insane feeling to grieve over someone i dont know or never met, whom i only started watching for less than two years. it makes me feel insane to cry about it when none of my friends knew him. it feels insane how there is no tangible way techno had changed my life because i built no friendships through him, or made art of him, or was even an active member of the community. all i got was/is my love for him and his friends that he introduced me to. idk how to explain it, but it felt like i dont deserve to grieve him.

but obviously his community has been so loving through and through. we held each other, even though i personally spoke to nobody about it (given the fact that i dont talk to anyone or tweet on twitter and nobody irl knew him). theres still a weird feeling of loneliness and isolation despite the collective grief.

the toughest thing to watch was his father grieving him together with us. i had lost my father when i was a child and i watched his mother mourn him. it never made sense then that a parent should watch their kid die. it still doesnt make sense now. in some egotistical, nonsensical way, it felt like the universe did a trade with me.

i have never had any direct communication with technodad, but i think he had helped a lot in my processing my pre-existing grief over my father, together with our grief over technoblade, and everyone else i have lost in between. i will forever appreciate him for that.

sidenote: the dream technodad had about being at a gathering and he couldn't find technoblade. but turns out he was in the other room playing a game. and in the dream he was like 'oh thank god he's not dead' but when he woke up reality hit him like a truck?

yeah well, that was how it felt when i found out my dad passed away all those years ago. i woke up to a house filled with relatives and my mother pulled me aside to tell me my dad had passed away. he was the only person who wasnt there.

the grief i have for technoblade is so deeply intertwined with my grief for my father and i dont think i can ever succinctly explain it to anyone in my life. because they happened 16 years apart and had no connection whatsoever except for me whos in the middle. slowly processing my own grief.

(midwriting this i suddenly realized that after my birthday this year i will be older than technoblade could ever be and im sobbing silently in my room so my roommates cant hear me)

it sucks being someone who doesnt cry in front of people and struggle to ask for help or even a hug. the loneliness is palpable. thats why i wrote everything here.

i love you, technoblade.

i love you, dad.

im sorry to lump the two of you together like this. im a little insane, i know. i hope its okay.

#technoblade never dies

[hailieshapedbox]

my younger cousin has a lot of mental health issues and its really affecting everyone in the house n we dont know how to help him help himself/: its a bit tormenting on everyone. ive tried to help a lot but i had to stop bc it was affecting my mental health and he started be really mean, now i see why everyone has to minimize how much they can help and be around. i just gotta vent real quick though bc i cant take this sometimes. my uncle missed his psych appointment with his main dr. twice and had me reschedule it bc his assistants that fuck everything up, had it all fucked up. i made my uncle buy a whiteboard to keep track of all his shit bc i have enough projects for myself, i texted him multiple times throughout the week about the appointment and helped with other reminders on top of other things for his business (and his friends jewelry start up). i texted him the day before and the day before that about the appointment, i put a post it note on the coffee maker that his friend just let fall aside and got coffee all over (but still it was right on the counter), and he still woke me up to ask me what time it was at and even had the nerve to tell me to get ready in an hour to “help get him going and get him over there”. bruh i went back to sleep, i was up for 2 hours tryna sleep laying there like a dead fish or whatever they say n barely got a couple hours. ive told him so many times ive been dealing with insomnia and he just thinks everyone has trouble sleeping and doesnt understand n ive told him im underweight and how i have no energy and its like nobody ever hears me when i ask for help. hes woken me up probably 10x now n i started hurting myself tbh bc my peace was being too intruded. i got handle and control of that though, i dont wanna hurt myself you know. but only coping method that ever helped. whatever when i got up i did knock on my cousins door n ask if he heard his dad and i texted him bc he didnt say anything. i went to go work out. when my uncle got home he saw me working out and tried to get me to go with and ik its only bc he wants me to sit in the office so he can nap in the car. i even made a joke about it and he agreed laughing and went to go take a nap. instead of going to tmobile to get this kid a new sim card that hes been needing and begging for for going on two months. lmao bruh i try

this was just one morning i could write books of diary entries accumulating my emotions but i dont have time for that tbh im procrastinating n finally writing out bc i just want this week to be over i want it to be monday i want it to be next month when my brothers getting here and my mom comes over and imma make ed come back in town.

idk if yall noticed but until valentines day, i hadnt posted anything the entire month of february. took this long being single to realize valentines day is my favorite holiday and i couldnt missy opportunity to share my heart. i even posted on iG for the first time in like a year. i love love, its all i am, its all i need.

ive had so many post ideas too, but everyone is asking so much of me. its crazy because a few months ago i fucking begged the universe for more responsibility and god damn did i get it, im really trying hard to manage and stay aligned any way i can. im getting close to getting really good. im tryna get there so soon bc i see it through so clear but i just cant. even stopped drinking and cut back on weed a bit bc i just dont have time for it.

i had a whole other thing to rant about and i could have so many others, does kinda help to vent it especially writing. i forgot what it was once i started writing about valentines day and happier things. its funny how easy it is to flow into different emotions, yet so hard to control that and discipline that. even when i then after put myself into my happiest spaces, just doesnt always work. thats why when i see the opportunity for happiness i take it and thats why i dont get stuck on things easy, i hate stagnacity (wrote a song about that the other day). not easily influenced, but easily inspired. music actually usually does it. well imma go see if it still smells like campfire in the shower n do that or something else productive n try to make the most of whats left of the day. fuck i usually post this kinda stuff in the middle of the night so not to many people see it, i try not to be a bother or negative. love you all always

#hailieshapedbox