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lokisgoodgirl · 4 months

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Peace [Loki x Reader]

A Link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: After an outing to the Christmas Tree Farm goes awry, Loki does a little soul searching in his moccasins. (w/c 1.2k) Warnings: A tiny bit spicy. Like literally pepper. Fluff, some forestry angst(?) A/N: My contribution to the Secret Santa 2023 event hosted by the wonderful @fictive-sl0th - Merry Christmas @coldnique ❤️ Request: Reader and Loki are burdened with a mission; finding the perfect tree. Unfortunately, our god doesn't deem any of the ones they see at the farm worthy so...

You watched Loki’s frown deepen as he concentrated on the road ahead. A familiar sign flashed by at the roadside, finally. Tony had given you a loan of his cabin in Vermont for the week. But festive, it was not. Not yet.

You turned up the volume on the touch-screen, hoping that Elton would rouse Loki’s mood a little. Biting your lip, you glanced at the god out the corner of your eye. No change. The trip to the Christmas tree farm had not been a success.

“They were all too...bushy, unkempt” he grumbled, switching to fifth gear with an unnecessarily erotic yank. “Well that’s what pine trees do, my love” you replied, letting your eyes run up his chest, up his neck. Loki hurmphed. “-And the needles on them were so jagged. Dry. All arrogance and no substance." He tilted his chin upwards, the hard vein in his neck throbbing at the tip of an elegant turtle-neck jumper. The god let out an incredulous scoff. “My dear you could injure your delicate mortal hands. I simply will not allow it.” He paused, nodding sagely as you approached a bend. "Arrogant. Yes, that's what they were. No individuality, no...depth,” he growled, giving a haughty sniff. You looked out the window, taking a deep and silent breath. Placing a hand on his thigh, you felt the muscles beneath his jeans work, clenching. You gave him a consolatory pat. “I mean really,” Loki continued undeterred. “Once the various trinkets you like so much are added to the tableau it will look truly ridiculous. Pompous, in fact.” “At least they were green,” you murmured. The sound of Loki’s hair whipping as he snapped to face you rustled the air. “Yes,” he snipped. “At least they were that.”

Back at the cabin, you flinched as Loki threw the door closed behind him. He strode into the kitchen, dropping the car keys in a dish with a malevolent rattle. You walked to where he stood gripping the counter top, sliding your hands around his waist. He huffed gently, before his touch covered yours. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I ruined the Christmas ambiance, didn’t I?” “A bit, yes” you replied. He huffed again. The soft, nasal kind that denoted annoyance at himself. He spun to face you.

The fine knit of his sweater pulled against your fingertips. In seconds his lips sealed to your neck, longing kisses wet against the angle of your jaw. Loki pulled you against him, soft tongue darting teasingly against your lips as he sought entry. Your hands slid up his chest, toying with the high collar tight against the sharp slate of his jaw before you slid your fingers up. They tangled in his locks, tugging gently while he moaned into your mouth.

“Ah-” he gasped suddenly, timed with a well-placed squeeze of your hand against his cock.

It pulsed against your palm. You smiled. Fucking on Tony’s counter-top was most definatley on your 'Christmas ambiance' list. The smile fell as Loki touched your hand, pulling it gently aside. He gazed at you with narrowed eyes, a thoughtful glint sparking deep within them. His lip twitched as he straightened, towering over you. Rogue curls fell around your face, the scent of his almond and redcurrant cologne that clung to every strand making your mouth water. “I cannot be held responsible for diminishing the glimmer of Yule in that precious heart of yours,” he whispered gallantly, before clearing his throat. “I shall be back presently to right this most egregious wrong.” And in the swirl of a coat and the click of the latch, he was gone.

Loki walked approximately fifteen steps before he admitted to himself that the soft leather moccasins were a bad choice.

He pulled the coat he was wearing tighter. The hem flapped against his knees as he walked. Unfortunately for Loki, he had neglected to pack alternative shoes in his pocket dimension. And furthermore, he could not abide a return to the cabin after such a flawlessly theatrical exit. A warming enchantment on his feet would have to suffice.

He walked, and he walked. And the forest grew thicker.

The god’s gaze darted between each majestic pine tree, stretching to the sky. Perfect, he mused bitterly. They’re all too perfect. If Loki had learned anything in past years about the power of this so called christ-mas, then it was that the festivities were a time for see the beauty in things oft overlooked. To celebrate that which was diminished throughout the other, more bountiful seasons. Loki could relate to that feeling. It was part of the reason he enjoyed it so much. He came to a clearing, shivering lightly as he stopped. Snow had begun to fall in silent flakes, resting atop already heaving branches. How far had he walked, he wondered. Loki looked up, closing his eyes to the bright, frozen sky. The god would never quite understand how he had found himself living happily on Midgard. In truth, how he had found himself living happily at all. It frightened him sometimes how much he saw his past-self as another. Like one of your documentaries, or a myth. Stories told as a cautionary tale with a flashlight under one’s chin in the dead of night. A fiction. And he would tell them gladly. But it was not himself of which he spoke. Not really. Not anymore. It frightened him, oh yes. Not that he would ever tell anyone that. No one but you.

But Yule is a time for honouring one’s past, he surmised. And so – the first emblem of the season he chose himself should reflect that. "Where are you?" he murmured quietly, spinning in a measured circle with his eyes closed. A flake of snow stuck to his bottom lip. He felt it melt against the warmth it found. Loki opened his eyes. He took a few steps towards the nearest tree. Tall, bushy, perfect – just like the others. But he trusted in the moment, however that worked.

His moccasins crunched, disappearing into thickening snow beneath his feet. Moisture soaked into the suede lining. The god shifted around the plump fir, pushing its branches from his path. "There you are," he whispered against the chill.

In amongst the tightly packed pine trees, sat a rather modest specimen. It was a fine tree. Noble, despite its diminutive state. A little tired. Lack of sunlight from those crowding around it had stunted its growth. Loki could see where its branches had fought for every scrap of light, twisting and adapting at strange angles. He ran his fingers gently across the vibrant spines. Plump, and luscious. None came loose. The tree was free of snow, shielded by the very branches which cramped his ascent to their level. He hummed an Asgardian chant, running his hand to the tip of the branch.

Loki waited for a response. He lowered his head, listening. It was ceremony. "This, I swear," he murmured in reverence. With the greatest care, he summoned the gentlest magic he possessed. The tree roots came away with ease, plucked from the moist soil like sponge from a greased tin. Willingly, he thought with a smile. And Loki cradled the small tree all the way back to the cabin. You were overjoyed, greeting him through the window and then at the door with a smile that would rival the brightest moon. That evening, you and he decorated the small tree with delicate ornaments. Loki was sure that he had never seen a finer Yuletide scene. And every day, in the bright winter light of the living room, and where you and Loki spent lazy nights celebrating by the warmth of the fire – that little tree grew. Love, space, freedom, faith. Loki pondered those words whenever he saw it. The god tended it every day with his magic, keeping the roots fresh in their temporarily home. And when the holiday ended, he would re-plant it. Somewhere it could continue its journey to its full potential in peace. Peace, Loki mulled as he brushed a strand of hair back from your cheekbone while you slept on his chest. Carols played. He inhaled against your hair, feeling your breaths rise and fall in time with his own. Peace.

Secret Santa 2023 taglist: @joyful-enchantress @mochie85 @muddyorbs @holdmytesseract @simplyholl @lady-rose-moon @superficialdomina @cultofcarter @coldnique @give-me-a-moose @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @smolvenger @loz-3 @catsladen @acidcasualties @divine-knight-hand @glitchquake @nyxlaufeyson @fandxmslxt69 @holymultiplefandomsbatman @fictive-sl0th @smolvenger Tags (cont in comments)

@lokischambermaid @meowmeow-motherfucker @gigglingtiggerv2 @imalovernotahater @avengersalways @littledark11 @lokikissesmyforehead @thedistractedagglomeration @loopsisloops @morriggannlostinfandoms @marygoddessofmischief @xorpsbane @peacefulpianist @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @ozymdias @your-taste-on-my-lips

#loki x reader #loki fluff #secret santa 2023 #Camilles secret santa #loki x reader fluff #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfiction #loki oneshot #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson x reader #loki imagine

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 3 months

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Hey

you can write an hsc in which a just-born baby cried when he saw his father (for everyone) (Bayverse)

Thanks you

Your Baby Cries When They First Meet Him (Fluff)

Bayverse!Turtles x reader

A/N: Of course I can! Any excuse to bring my Bayverse OCs into play💙❤️💜🧡

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Warning: Cute toddlers and crying babies💚

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Leonardo:

Leonardo sat on a stool in the kitchen, his fingers strumming against the table beside him, all while Casey and Vern came with friendly words, trying to calm the terrapin down. Leo’s blue eyes were filled with anxiety as he glanced nervously at the closed door, behind which you were in the process of giving birth to your third child.

Raph, Mikey, and Splinter were engaged in a lively game with Leo's other two sons, Romeo and Marcello, trying to distract them from the tension in the air. Leo's leg jumped restlessly as he watched them, his mind racing with thoughts of you and the new baby, hoping that the two of you were going to be okay.

After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open, and a weary-looking Donatello, and a just as tired April emerged. Leo practically leapt towards him, his expression desperate for news.

"How is she? How's the baby?", Leo asked in a rush, barely giving Donnie a chance to respond.

Donatello offered a reassuring yet tired smile. "Everything went smoothly, Leo. You have a healthy baby boy". Leo's shoulders sagged in relief, and he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "You can go in now. They're waiting for you".

Leo nodded his gratitude and entered the room alone, his sons still busy playing with their uncles and grandfather. Inside, you were propped up on the bed, a tired but content smile on your face. In your arms, a tiny bundle of blankets squirmed, a pair of small green hands just visible from where Leo stood.

Leo's eyes softened as he approached, taking in the sight of you and the newborn. "Hey," he whispered, his voice filled with awe.

You smiled at him, holding out the baby. "Meet Gerardo, our little ninja". Leo carefully cradled the newborn in his arms, his heart swelling with love at the sight.

But as soon as Gerardo's blue eyes met Leo's, the baby let out a tiny cry. Leo's eyes widened, and he exchanged a bewildered look with you. "Did I do something wrong?", he asked, panic evident in his voice.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head. "No, Leo. He's just getting to know you. It's a big, new world for him. Don’t you remember how much Marcello used to cry?"

Leo relaxed, relief flooding over him. He then turned his attention back to the small crying baby in his arm, doing what he had done for the past six years, after the birth of his first son. “Hey, little guy. Shhhh, don’t worry. It’s okay. Daddy’s here”.

“Mommy? Daddy?”, Romeo’s small voice sounded in the doorway. Him and Marcello stood with their big eyes looking at you. “Can we come and say hi?”

“Of course you can”, Leo said, before crouching down to their hight, with the now calm baby in his arms. “Boys, say hello to you baby brother”.

Raphael:

Raphael paced nervously outside the door of the Needle Room, where you had just given birth to your third child. The air was thick with tension as he awaited the news. Inside, you were recovering with a tired but radiant smile on your face, cradling the newest addition to your family - a baby boy named Ragnar. The room was filled with warmth and the soft murmur of voices as your two daughters, Joan and Mini, eagerly awaited their turn to meet their baby brother.

The door creaked open, and Raph was the first to burst in, his heart pounding with a mixture of joy and trepidation. Joan and Mini followed closely behind him, their eyes wide with curiosity.

Raph's gaze immediately found yours, and a wide grin spread across his face. He couldn't help but admire the strength and beauty he saw in you, a mother who had just brought a new life into the world.

"Hey, babe", he whispered, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

As he pulled back, his eyes shifted to Ragnar, who lay peacefully in your arms. Joan and Mini, standing at the foot of the bed, were eager to meet their baby brother.

"Come on, you two", Raphael beckoned, a proud smile on his face. "Meet your little brother".

Joan, the elder sister, stepped forward first. Her eyes widened with amazement as she gazed at the tiny bundle in your arms. "Wow, mom, he's so small!"

Mini, the younger and more energetic one, couldn't contain her excitement. She bounced on her toes, trying to get a better look. "Can I hold him, mom? Can I?"

You chuckled, letting Joan crawl up on to the bed, letting her hold him with a mix of awe and responsibility. Mini eagerly crawled up on the bed too, hovered over her sister, eager to be a part of the excitement.

Raphael watched the scene unfold with a proud and loving heart. His gaze flickered from you to the children, and a feeling of completeness washed over him.

With a tender smile, he turned back to you, leaning in for another kiss. But just as his lips touched yours, Ragnar stirred, and then the inevitable happened - the newborn let out a tiny, discontented cry.

Raphael pulled away, his eyes widening in surprise. "Whoa, little guy, what's wrong?"

Joan and Mini exchanged worried glances as they held their baby brother, trying to comfort him.

You chuckled softly. "Looks like he's not a fan of PDA, Raph".

Raphael scratched the back of his head, a sheepish grin on his face. "Guess I'll have to work on my timing".

The room filled with laughter as Ragnar's cries were quickly replaced by the soothing reassurances of his family. Raphael, now holding Ragnar in his large, strong arms, softly humming him to sleep.

Donatello:

Normally Donatello would be in charge of anything medical, but when it came to the birth of his own children, he was too nervous. There April and Splinter were the ones in the Needle Room with you, helping you through the birth.

Donatello was not only concerned for you but also for his firstborn, 5 year old Galileo, who continuously looked towards the closed door, wondering when you’ll be able to come out again.

But thankfully it was a successful birth. You were cleaned up by April and brought extra pillows and blankets by Splinter.

As the door swung open, revealing the bed where you lay with Dorothy and Marie in your arms, Gali rushed forward, his eyes shining with excitement.

"They're beautiful, Mommy!", he exclaimed, his little face lit up with joy.

Donnie couldn't hide his own beaming smile as he gazed at the four most important people in his life. Splinter stood by, his presence a calming influence in the room, placing a comforting hand on Donnie’s shoulder.

"Can I sit with Mommy and one of the babies?", Gali asked, looking up at Splinter and Donnie with hopeful eyes.

Splinter nodded, a kind smile on his face. "Of course, my child. Go ahead".

Gali carefully climbed onto the bed with the help of his grandfather, settling on one side with you and one of the twins, Dorothy. Donnie moved to pick up the other baby, Marie, gently cradling her in his arms. But as soon as Marie left the comfort of your arms, she let out a soft, discontented cry. Donnie's eyes widened, a mix of surprise and concern washing over him.

"Is she okay?", he asked, his voice filled with worry. He didn’t recall Gali crying when he picked him up the first time.

April, who was nearby, reassured him, "It's normal, Donnie. Babies often cry when they're moved. She just needs a little time to adjust".

Donnie nodded, his nervousness slowly giving way to understanding. He cradled Marie close, whispering soothing words to her. Galil, on the other side of the bed, looked up at you with a mix of curiosity and concern.

"It's okay, little one", you reassured Marie, your voice gentle, your reaching up in order to hold her small one. "Daddy’s got you".

Donatello continued to comfort Marie, his gentle touch and soothing words eventually calming her cries. Gali watched in awe as his father effortlessly handled the situation.

Soon, the room was filled with the sounds of a contented family. Gali sat proudly beside you, one arm wrapped around his sister, and Donnie cradled Marie in his arms, a sense of peace and content settling over the room.

Michelangelo:

The lair echoed with a mix of excitement and nervous energy. Michelangelo, usually the most carefree and energetic of the turtles, was pacing nervously outside the Needle Room where you were giving birth to your first child.

Inside the room, April and Donatello was guiding you through the birthing process while the other turtles hovered nervously around their brother, offering support in various ways. Leo comforted his little brother, reminding him how to calm himself down. "Come on, Mikey, you got this. Breath. Just breathe”.

As the minutes passed, Mikey's nervousness grew to the point where he felt a bit queasy. He had never been good with medical stuff, and the thought of something happening to you and the child made him want to throw up. Leo and Raph tried their best to distract him, but the worry remained etched on Mikey's face.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, April announced, "It's time!" The turtles rushed into the room, Mikey following hesitantly, his heart pounding so hard in his chest, it almost made it hard for him to walk.

The room was filled with the soft cries of the newborn, and a wave of relief washed over Michelangelo as he heard those precious sounds.

You cradled Sunny in your arms with a radiant smile. The turtles gathered around, taking turns peeking at the newest member of their family. Mikey, however, hung back, a mix of excitement and nerves written all over his face. He still had a hard time calming down.

Once the initial chaos settled, you beckoned him over. "Come meet your daughter, Mikey".

His eyes widened with awe as he approached, his nervousness replaced by an overwhelming sense of joy. Gently, you transferred Sunny into his arms. His gaze never left her tiny face as he held her close. For a moment, everything felt perfect. Mikey stared down at Sunny, his heart swelling with love. But then, unexpectedly, Sunny let out a tiny cry.

Mikey's eyes widened in surprise, and a look of panic crossed his face. "Did I do something wrong? Is she okay?", he stammered, glancing between Sunny and you.

April chuckled softly, reassuring him. "It's okay, Mikey. Babies often cry when they're getting used to being outside the cozy womb. It's perfectly normal".

His expression shifted from worry to relief, and he tentatively bounced Sunny in his arms, offering a tentative smile. "Hey, little dudette, it's just your cool dad. No need to cry. We're gonna have so much fun together!"

As if responding to his words, Sunny's cries began to subside, and she nestled into the warmth of Mikey's embrace. A wave of contentment washed over the room as the turtles shared in the joy of welcoming a new member into their unconventional family.

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doodle-buggie · 6 months

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You know you want more Gerald

Look at him, he's got a pumpkin!

#gerald #fyp #art #unclear-writer art #needlefeltedanimal #needle felting #turtle tots #turtle plushie #i love turtles #baby turtle #whiteboard fox art #silly doodles

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dandylovesturtles · 2 months

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More TMNT AU Comp propaganda! It's for 100 Feet and a World Away this time!

Today's special guest star is Raph from Empyrean Weeping by @cupcakeslushie ! Cupcake has been very kind to me since I joined the Rise fandom and her AU is just incredible! If you're somehow not already following it go check it out!

(I reference one of the later comics that may not line up with the timeline the boys are supposed to be at for the comp haha... but hopefully that's alright!)

This is the direct sequel to this ask that I answered yesterday (the 100ft part of it). Laxative pranks can actually be super dangerous and I am exploiting that for angst. ^^

cw: emeto (vomit); it's quick and not very graphic but it's there

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There's so many turtles crammed into this space and way too many of them look like his little brother. Trying to find Mikey is starting to feel like... what do the scientists say? A needle in hay? Something like that.

None of this is helping the panic that's spiking in Leo's chest. They've never been apart - not like this, not where Mikey is free to move and Leo has no way of knowing where he is or who he's with. Calling his name in this crowd doesn't help; the only thing he has going for him is his Mikey is the one not wearing an orange mask.

His Mikey is the one not- oh!

Leo's relief at finding him dies instantly when he sees the state his little brother is in.

Mikey's standing, but he has his arms curled tight around his stomach. He's swaying slightly on his feet, and when Leo gets closer he realizes that Mikey's lips are stained blue.

"Mikey!" he calls as he jogs up, putting his hands firmly on Mikey's shoulders. He's shaking, and Leo doesn't feel very stable himself. "Mikey, what's wrong? What happened?"

Mikey's glassy eyes finally find Leo's face, and the relief that washes over him is visible. Leo wishes he felt as good about the situation. "Leo... Mm." He swallows miserably. "Don't feel good."

"What hurts? Your stomach?"

"Mm-hm..."

"Are you going to throw up?"

"...Mm-hm."

Leo has no idea what to do about this. He and Mikey don't get sick very often, but when they do it's better to be sick in their enclosure so the scientists don't complain as much. But there's no enclosure here, and no scientists, just the big open space and crowds and crowds of people. He doesn't know what to do, or how to fix this, or what even caused this in the first place-

Mikey solves the immediate problem by turning his head and throwing up on the floor. There's various exclamations of disgust from the people around them, and they move away; at least it gives Leo and Mikey some space.

"Okay," says Leo, shifting to get out of the splash zone and rubbing at Mikey's shell. He knows how to comfort Mikey, even if his mind is still whirring over how to fix it. "That's alright, buddy. Get it out, okay?" Whatever it is.

"L-leo," Mikey whines, grabbing for him with one hand. "It h-hurts..."

"I know. I know, I'm sorry, I don't... the scientists aren't here to give you medicine, but..." But what? What is he going to do? Mikey's counting on him, but... "What happened? Did you eat something?"

"Mmm... some kind of dri-" Mikey cuts himself off with another heave, and Leo holds him through it. A drink? Someone gave him a drink that made him sick!?

Leo holds Mikey through the next wave of sickness, rubbing his shell and trying to school his thoughts into a plan of action. Normally at this point the scientists would examine Mikey for what caused the illness and then administer aid, but Leo doesn't know how to do that alone. Why didn't he pay more attention? Why hadn't he learned what to do?

"Leo!" he hears a familiar voice call. He looks up, wild-eyed and panicked, into the face of a very frazzled looking April.

"Oh, Mikey," she says when she draws level with them, reaching out to rub his arm. Leo feels a wave of bitterness when Mikey leans into it. "Poor thing... What happened?"

"He... he says he drank something, I don't know." Leo hates how little information he has. "I... I lost him in the crowd," he explains, leaving out how Mikey had run away from him.

"Drank something!?" April chews on her lip, then nods. "Okay, don't worry. I'm gonna handle this." She looks back at Leo. "I saw a med station before - I'll take him there. They've gotta have some anti-emetics."

Leo hadn't known about any of that, but April comes up with the answer so quickly. The inadequacy he feels is sharp.

"I can take him there," he says, even though he doesn't even know where he's going.

"No, I'll take him," April asserts, like she knows. "You guys all split off and now Raph's alone and he's getting agitated; I need you to go over there. Having one of you close will calm him down."

Leo feels a rush of panic, and he grips Mikey's arm. "You're taking him from me?"

"No, Leo, I am not," she says, firm. "I am not taking him from you. I'm taking him to the med station."

"Without me!"

"Because I need you to help Raph." She reaches her free hand for Leo, but he dodges. "I know you're scared right now," she says, and Leo scoffs, "but I can take care of Mikey, and you can take care of Raph. I need you to trust me."

Leo doesn't want to do this. Everything in him is screaming to not let Mikey out of his sight, not even for a second, not when he's sick, vulnerable, scared-

"Leo," comes a soft voice, and his eyes trail down to Mikey's face. Mikey is now fully leaning into April - Leo doesn't know when Mikey moved away. Leo doesn't know when he let go. "It's okay."

Leo doesn't want to do this. But Mikey's made his choice, and Leo doesn't know what to offer. April knows what to do and he doesn't. He's lost.

He looks at the human, and for once he bares his teeth. "If anything happens to him-"

"You'll kill me, I know," she says, and smiles as she does, fond. Like this is some kind of joke, and he suddenly feels a swell of aggression, like he wants to reach out and smack that smile right off her face-

It dies immediately, a rush of cold water down Leo's spine. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. He doesn't! Not even April, definitely not now. He just... He's...

I know you're scared right now.

April wraps her arm around Mikey's shoulders and says something to him that's too quiet for Leo to hear. Then she looks back.

"Raph's over there," she says, nodding. Leo can see him, standing up tall and sniffing the air; he's making distressed noises, looking around with his eyes that don't seem to see. Those around him are giving him concerned, wary looks, giving him a wide berth.

Leo takes a step in Raph's direction, then looks back at April, who gives him a relieved smile.

"Thank you, Leo," she says. "And if you see Donnie, tell him to stay put until I get back."

Then she leads Mikey away.

Leo watches until he can't see them anymore, then he goes to Raph.

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They're sitting against a wall now, Raph curled up on the ground and Leo sitting against his side. Raph has calmed down since Leo came to him, but he must be able to pick up on Leo's anxiety, because he doesn't sleep, just sniffs the air and thumps the floor rhythmically with his tail.

Leo doesn't do anything to soothe him, because that would require being soothed himself. And he can't calm down - his heart has been beating at double time since he found Mikey, and he doesn't think it's going to stop until Mikey is back and safe.

He pulls his legs closer to his chest, his foot tapping in time with Raph's thumping. Maybe he should be looking for Donnie, but he can't leave Raph, and he's not sure he wants to see Donnie and tell him what happened yet. About how completely useless he was in keeping their little brother safe. At least Raph doesn't fully understand...

His eyes burn, and he buries his face in his arms. He's not going to cry. He hasn't cried in years and he's not going to cry now.

He's not going to cry, he's not going to cry, he's not-

"Uh, hey."

He jerks his eyes up, glaring at the person who just spoke to him. Another Raph, this one wearing a red mask and wraps and walking and talking like a person. Like most of the Raphs here.

(Why can't his Raph be like those Raphs, he thinks, and then immediately feels even more guilty.)

The Raph raises a tentative hand, giving him a little wave. Leo sniffs, blinks away, the not-tears, and narrows his eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Woof, okay," says Raph, rubbing the back of his neck. "Probably should have expected that... Uh, I just, noticed you sitting here, and you seemed pretty upset, so-"

"I'm not upset," Leo snaps, and hopes his voice doesn't sound as hoarse to Raph as it does to him.

"Oh. Yeah. Guess you are," he says, and Leo huffs, forcing himself to straighten out so he looks as okay as he says he is. The Raph still isn't leaving. "So, my bros went to get snacks... Mind if I sit here while I wait for them to get back?"

Leo wants to tell him no, but that might give more evidence that he's not, in fact, okay, so instead Leo shrugs. What is it the scientists say?

"It's a free country."

Raph laughs. "Not sure we're even in a country anymore."

Leo shrugs again. He doesn't actually know what a country is, so it doesn't matter to him.

The Raph sits, right across from Leo with only a few feet between them. For a minute or two, it's silent, with only the sound of the other competitors in the arena, and Raph's incessant thumping. Even though Leo is trying to look chill and cool and unbothered, Raph is still picking up on his anxiety, which isn't helping the runaway beat of his heart.

"Sooo, where's the rest of your brothers?" asks Raph, ending the facade. And bringing them right back to the topic driving Leo crazy.

He goes for the easy answer. "No idea where Donnie is."

"Hah. Your Donnie has a tendency to run off, too, huh?"

"He can take care of himself," says Leo dismissively. He hopes that's where Raph drops it.

But of course he doesn't. Raph looks right at him as he asks, like he knows, "And your Mikey?"

Leo stiffens. Behind him, his Raph makes a distressed whining noise. His fear stink is sharp.

"...He got sick," Leo admits, and the words leave an acrid taste in his mouth. "The human took him to the med station."

Raph tilts his head at that, but he sounds sympathetic when he asks, "Is that what you're worried about?"

"I'm not-" Leo starts, too sharp, too worried, and what's the point of denying it now?

He sinks back, pulling his legs against his chest and burying his face away in his knees again, trying to breathe, trying to calm down. He doesn't want to fall apart here, in front of this guy who isn't his big brother, no matter how much he might wish...

There's shuffling, and then the sound of someone settling down closer. Raph makes a warning noise behind him, and the other Raph says, "Whoa, it's okay. I'm just checking on him."

The sound of sniffing, and then betrayal, as his Raph gives one chuff and settles back. Allowing the new Raph into their space.

"Want to talk about it?" he asks, and his voice is soft and easy.

And maybe it's because there's no point in denying, and maybe it's because Leo's heart is still so fast he can't sit still, and maybe it's because he just misses his big brother so much-

It all comes pouring out at once.

"I tried to warn him," Leo snaps, his head jerking up and his hands flying into wild gestures. "I told him, I told him, don't just eat whatever anyone gives you! And he acted like I was being mean, and he told me to leave him alone, and he ran away!"

"So you got in a fight," says Raph sympathetically. "And then he got sick?"

"I... I guess. He says he drank something, and I think that made him sick." Leo lightly scratches at his arms. His anger dies almost instantly when he thinks of how upset and pained Mikey looked, and he all he feels is the crushing guilt again. "It's not his fault. I'm supposed to look after him, and I... I didn't. I let something happen to him." He swallows, sinking in on himself again. "I wasn't there when I should have been."

Raph sighs, hunching in his own lap, and Leo peeks out at him from over his arm. He doesn't know exactly what he's waiting for - judgement, maybe, because that's all he deserves, and he doesn't mind if it comes from this stranger because it's not like anyone else will give it to him.

"You were looking for him, weren't you?" Raph gives him a crooked grin. "I saw you earlier, running around."

Leo nods, because that much is true, but he doesn't know why it matters.

"So you were doing what you could do," says Raph. "You were still looking out for him, even though he was throwing a tantrum."

"He wasn't throwing a tantrum," says Leo, rushing to defend Mikey, even though... he's still annoyed, maybe, a little, in the back of his mind. "He was just... he... it's not easy."

"It's not easy for you, either, is it?"

Leo shakes his head. "Doesn't matter. I'm the older brother, so it's my job to take care of him."

"Hm." Raph looks at him appraisingly. "Believe it or not, Raph knows a little something about the kind of guilt you're feeling."

"...If you say so," says Leo, because he doesn't know how anyone could.

"I do! Because... once, Raph lost his brothers, too. I... wasn't there for them when I should have been."

Leo feels surprise at that. This Raph isn't like his, not lost in the isolation of his own mind, but... he lost his brothers, too. Just like Leo did.

He uncurls, just a little, watching Raph cautiously. "Did they get hurt?"

"...Yeah. They got really hurt." Raph looks mournful, and Leo almost feels bad for asking. But before he can try to change the subject, Raph continues. "I can't help but feel like... I failed them. And like I didn't do enough to help them, when they needed it."

Leo rubs his palms over his arms. "Because you didn't know how?" he guesses.

"Yeah. I didn't."

"So... what do you do?" Leo uncurls the rest of the way, watching Raph closely. If there's some secret to this, he doesn't want to miss it. "When you feel guilty like that."

All Raph does is shrug, though. "Not much to do but to feel it." His lips twitch up, though, trying to look comforting, and despite himself Leo feels a little warm because of it. "But... someone else told me, leave the past to the ancestors, and worry about the future." Raph reaches out, and pats Leo lightly on the shoulder. "You couldn't stop Mikey from getting sick. But what can you do now?"

Leo thinks about that. What can he do now that Mikey is already sick?

"...There's... a silly song I sing when he's sad, or sick, or whatever," Leo suggests. "I didn't know the lyrics so I just made them up. It... always makes him laugh."

Raph grins big at that. "Okay. So you can sing that for him when you get back to him."

"Yeah. I guess I can."

"There you go." Raph gives him one more pat, then pulls his hand back.

"What if it's not enough, though?" Leo asks, because it doesn't feel like it would be.

Raph shakes his head. "If you're anything like my Leo, I know you're going to keep trying. You'll keep being there for Mikey, for all of them, no matter what happens. And that's enough. Even if it doesn't feel like it, it is."

Leo doesn't know how much he believes that, but... he notices his heart has finally calmed down to its normal rate.

Behind him, his Raph's tail has stopped thumping. With one contented chuff, he settles in to nap. Finally calmed down.

"...I hope so," he says, and Raph beams.

"By the way," he says, "when you said "human"... Did you mean April O'Neil?"

Leo can't help the face he makes. "Don't tell me she's a universal constant, too."

"Hah! Were you raised by Draxum, too?"

"...Who's Draxum?"

"Uh, he's... You know what? Forget Raph even asked..."

-----

April comes back half an hour later. Despite Raph saying he was only waiting for his brothers, he stays with Leo until then. They spend most of that time with Raph telling Leo all about Lou Jitsu, and Leo can't help but be a little excited to watch those movies when they get out.

Or, well. If they ever get out.

"Hey Leo, Raph," says April when she returns, "uh... other Raph."

"Hey!" Raph raises a hand. "You must be their April!"

"Yeah, I am! Nice to meet you."

Before they can get off on any small talk, Leo jumps to his feet, looking worriedly at April. "How's Mikey?" he asks, to get the conversation back on track.

"Oh, he's fine! We got him some medicine and now he just has to sleep it off."

Leo sighs in relief, settling back against his Raph again, who chuffs and snuffles in response. "Can we see him?"

"Yep. I was just coming to get you." She points her thumb back the way she came. "I'll take you and Raph, and then I'll try to figure out where Donnie wandered off to."

The other Raph gets to his feet. "If I see your Donnie, I can send him your way. What's he look like?"

"Uh, no fancy metal shell like the other softshell Donnies, no goggles, no mask," says April. "Acts like a feral gremlin."

"...Well, the lack of gear helps narrow it down," says Raph. "Raph'll tell him to find you if he sees him."

"Thanks, we appreciate it," says April, before turning her attention back to Leo. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." Leo hurries to follow her, then hesitates and looks back. The other Raph is still standing there, watching them go, and he feels like he should at least say...

"Uh, thanks. And... good luck?"

"Oh, yeah." Raph grins. "Good luck to you guys, too!"

Leo gives him one last wave, then turns to follow April, his Raph on their heels.

"Soooo..." April smiles at him. "Looks like you made a friend, huh?"

Immediately, Leo feels his cheeks heat, and he turns away from her, arms crossed tight around his middle. "He was just bothering me, that's all."

"Uh huh," she says, like she doesn't believe him at all. She gives him a companionable nudge with her elbow that he hisses at, but all she does is laugh.

"Come on, grumpy shell. It's this way."

#100 feet and a world away #empyrean weeping au #rottmnt #tmnt au competition #auuuugh #once again this has pretty minimal proofreading because I am so busy rn lol

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