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ofstoriesandstardust · 1 year

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quarter life crisis (j.h.s.)

a/n: this is wildly influenced by my own life so i have no idea if this is even relatable but you can have it anyways.

summary: Rejection from a potential grad school stings more than they realize.

inspired by taylor bickett’s “quarter life crisis” | part of the maroon universe

warnings: implied/referenced sex, swearing, age gap (reader is 22, Jake is 33), alcohol mentions, writing this was kind of cathartic,

word count: 5,757

Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you a place in our program at this time...

The bright screen wavers in front of you as you blink back the stinging of your tears. Your boyfriend’s hand rubs comfortably on your back as you shut the lid of the laptop, slumping down in your chair.

Your pretty, perfect boyfriend.

Your pretty, perfect boyfriend who was one of the best Naval aviators in the country.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just Stanford.”

Just Stanford, like it wasn’t one of the top schools in the country.

Aim for the skies, your Dad always said.

“Yeah.” You mutter, sliding off the chair at the counter of the kitchen island.

“You have like what, seven other programs?” He says, following you as you walk towards the fridge. “You’ll get into the program that’s meant for you. Besides, I selfishly didn’t want you going so far from me.”

You sigh, turning to face your boyfriend.

Your pretty, perfect boyfriend who wouldn’t ever know the sting of rejection.

Rejection and Jake Seresin were antonyms, words that would never go together, polar opposites.

Much like you and Jake.

Jake, a 33-year-old established Naval aviator with two confirmed kills who had his whole career right in front of him.

You, a 22-year-old college graduate with no direction and no idea what she was doing.

You and Jake were antonyms, people that would never go together, polar opposites.

“Yeah.” You say, realizing you’ve been quiet for too long as Jake’s eyebrows furrow.

“Sweetheart-” He says before cutting himself off, looking a bit at a loss. “What can I do to make it better?”

You shrug, giving him a small smile. “Nothing. Why don’t you go on to the Hard Deck without me? Think I’m gonna take a minute.”

He hesitates. “You sure?”

You breath out, crossing your arms as you nod. “Positive.”

He nods, still looking a bit skeptical as he leans down, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “See you soon?”

“Yeah.”

You groan, rolling over as you blink awake. The TV is still on, the title screen for Treasure Planet pulled up as you search for your phone.

It’s a tough task, ensnared in a tangle of blankets and squinting from the too bright TV in a pitch black living room. You finally latch on to it, wedged between two cushions, quickly looking away as the bright screen lights up at you.

Your head pounds as you struggle to turn the brightness down on the phone, the cry you’d had earlier leaving your throat dry and head in need of a painkiller. You swallow, throat feeling like sandpaper as you struggle to sift through the 49 text messages, not to mention the 8 missed calls.

You don’t think you’d ever been so popular.

The texts are mostly from Jake, a handful from Brad and Nat and Reuben and even one from your Dad (Sorry to hear about Stanford kid).

The calls are all from Jake though.

Hey, it’s been a while, where are you? Call me back.

Hey, this is the fourth time I called you, why aren’t answering?

Hey, I’m starting to get worried. Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone. Please call me back.

I will drive to your house. I know where your Dad keeps the spare key. Please just call me back and tell me you’re okay.

Okay, okay, I get the hint. You want to be left alone. Just send a smoke signal that you’re alive or something? I’m just kind of worried about you. Okay, I- Okay, talk to you later.

You groan, a quick glance at the time telling you it’s almost midnight. You must’ve cried yourself to sleep for an unintended six hour nap. You shoot off a quick text to Jake, letting him know you just fell asleep. You respond to the meme Reuben sent you, confirming the two of you were still on for drinks with kids from your high school tomorrow, friends of his he still kept in touch with. You knew Max and Lauren and Joy and Tristan and Cody when you went to school, but you’d never been quite cool enough to hang out with them.

You pull the fridge open, searching for the leftover pizza best you can with the bright LED lights in the fridge.

“What are you doing?” You yelp, turning around as you see Maverick standing there in his pajamas, half-asleep.

“Getting food... sorry, did I wake you?”

He shakes his head, yawning. “Jake called, asked if we heard from you. You were asleep when we came in so I just wanted to make sure you were still here.”

You nod, glancing down at your phone. Jake still hadn’t texted you back. “Yeah, I just texted him.”

“Okay, well, I’m going back to bed. Sorry about the Stanford decision.”

You give a half-shrug. “Just Stanford.”

He blindly pats your shoulder before yawning again. “K, goodnight.” And then he’s shuffling back to the stairs to go to bed as you groan, shutting the fridge.

“You look pretty.” Penny comments as you walk into the Hard Deck.

“Thank you.”

“Got a hot date?” Amelia teases.

“Nope, just drinks with Reuben.”

“Let me go put this box in the back and then we’re good to go, yeah?” You nod as Reuben rounds the bar with the box in his hands. He pauses, turning back to you. “Do you remember Anna who went to high school with us?”

You blink, nodding slowly.

Of course you remembered her. She’d been your best friend for seven years.

“Yeah.”

“Did you hear she was engaged?”

You nod again as Jake’s arm slides around your waist. “I did hear that, yeah.”

“Well, her and her fiancé are in town, Tyler I think his name is, and so I invited them to go with us.”

You nod as Reuben turns, heading for the back.

“Hi sweetheart.” Jake whispers in your ear, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder.

“Sorry I disappeared last night.” You whisper back, but Jake doesn’t get a chance to respond as Bradley cuts through the conversation.

“Weren’t you and Anna, like best friends?” Bradley asks, taking a sip of his beer. “I remember her because she had a huge crush on me, which was always kind of strange. She was like my second sister.”

“Yeah, well Anna decided to stop being friends with me a long time ago.” You say with a sigh.

“You and Anna were friends?” Reuben asks, coming back into the room.

You nod. “For like seven years.”

“I never knew that.” He said, eyebrows furrowing. “I never even saw you guys talk to each other at school.”

You huff out a laugh, feeling somewhat bitter. “Yeah, because I wasn’t cool enough to be seen with her. It would ruin her street cred.”

“That’s shitty.” Jake comments, tugging you between his legs to rest his chin on your shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

You give a half-shrug, blinking back the sting of tears yet again.

“It’s whatever.”

It’s not whatever.

You’d known Anna since you were eleven years old, since the two of you stood next to each other in line for your English class on the first day of the 6th grade, becoming friends because the two of you were wearing the same shirt but in different colors.

Anna was at your house more often than not. You’d been the first person she’d called when her brother got cancer. You’d walked to her house after your parents told you that they were getting a divorce. She used to come over whenever your Dad had cancer treatments and make pancakes with you and watch Glee so you didn’t have to think about it.

And then one day, at the start of your senior year, she’d cut you out. Blocked your number and stopped talking to you. She’d shown back up again before you started college but hadn’t stuck around very long that time either.

She’d disappeared for a few years and came back with a fiancé who was her soulmate and a successful job in a new city across the country.

And here you were, back in San Diego, with a shiny new grad school rejection and a dead end bartending job your Dad had hooked up for you and a boyfriend you hadn’t said I love you to yet.

Comparatively, one of you was doing better than the other and it wasn’t the one who had gotten screwed over.

It made your chest burn, thinking about how you had always thought you’d be there when she got engaged and had to find out from Instagram of all places.

Put a lot of things into perspective for you.

You blink, realizing you’ve been quiet for too long again as the group stares at you. “Sorry.”

Reuben watches you carefully. “You ready to go?”

You take a shaky breath, nodding. “Yep, let’s go.”

“Reuben!” Max yells as the two of you walk over. “Took you long enough!”

Reuben laughs, pulling Max into a hug before introducing you. Max nods, giving you a side hug as Lauren’s eyes light up at the sight of you.

“You were in our AP Literature class.” Max says, pulling away from you.

Lauren groans, leaning over the table to give you a hug. “Don’t bring that class up, Maxwell. I’m still not over the fact that we all failed the AP test.”

“Yeah, I’d like to not revisit the year Max and I dated.” Joy says, offering you a smile from across the table.

Max sticks out his tongue at her as your and Reuben sit at the table. “You remember Tristan, yeah?”

You nod as he raises his glass to you. “Good to see you again.”

“Glad to see we all survived that awful AP Lit class.”

“And then I don’t think you ever met my older brother Cody?”

“You got bumped up to my History class your freshman year, right?” Cody asks as he extends a hand over the table. You nod, confirming his words as you shake his hand.

“Hey Cody, I was in that class too!” Anna protests from the end of the table.

You offer the girl a small smile. “Hi Anna.”

“You know, I didn’t know the two of you were friends.” Reuben comments, gesturing between you and Anna.

“She was too busy pretending I didn’t exist.” You mutter under your breath, doing your best to disguise the words with a cough.

“Okay, why don’t you boys go get us drinks?” Lauren asks.

“So you can sit here and gossip and have girl talk?” Max says, raising his beer to his lips with a smirk.

“Yes. Get lost.” Joy deadpans. The boys grumble but follow her orders, even Anna’s fiancé following the group.

“So how have you been?” Lauren asks, a genuine small lighting up her face.

You shrug. “Pretty good.”

“Are you and Reuben dating?” Joy asks, earning a nudge from Lauren.

You chuckle, shaking your head. “No, God no. We’re just co-workers, pretty sure my Dad put him up to this, always saying I need to get out of the house. Besides, I have a boyfriend.”

“How is your Dad?” Anna asks, taking Max’s chair so she could scoot closer.

“Good. He’s good. He and Maverick just celebrated their anniversary and he’s in remission.”

“So... backtrack, boyfriend?” Lauren says, propping her head up on a closed fist. “Please, do tell.”

“Can I see a picture?” Anna asks. You nod, pulling your phone out from your back pocket, swiping through for an acceptable photo of the two of you. You land on a picture from a barbecue Penny had hosted recently, a picture Javy had taken of the two of you when neither of you were paying attention.

His smile was wide, hair messy from rolling around in the grass all afternoon as the team played football. Your arms were around his neck, his hands on your waist as the both of you smile, deep in conversation.

“His name is Jake. He’s a Navy pilot and works with Bradley and Maverick. It’s how we met.”

“Dating a flyboy, I’m sure your dad is thrilled.” Anna comments, raising her eyebrows. “Isn’t he- He’s kind of out of your league. No offense.”

And there it is.

Your pretty, perfect boyfriend, out of your league.

Of course it was something you knew, but not something you needed to hear, least of all from her.

“Oh, he’s cute.” Lauren coos, peering over at the phone. “How serious is it?”

You shrug. “Dunno, we’ve only been dating for a few months. Just kind of seeing where it goes.”

“Don’t be fooled, Jake’s hopelessly in love with her.” Reuben comments as the boys appear back at the table.

“I don’t know about that.” You say, taking a gulp of the drink Reuben has set down in front of you.

“Is the sex good?” Joy asks, causing you to choke.

“What?” You choke out, lungs burning.

“Well, is it?”

“Um-”

“You don’t have to answer that.” Max intervenes, tossing a look at Joy.

“No, I’m with Joy. He looks like he knows how to fuck, I’m curious if he’s good.”

“Lauren!” Reuben protests, crossing his arms. “Back off.”

“I second that.” Tristan says.

“Oh, please like you didn’t hear about Joy’s sex life when she dated Max.” Lauren says, narrowing her eyes.

“So?” Anna prompts. “Is he good in bed?”

You shrink back, suddenly aware that everyone’s looking at you.

You had told Jake that you hadn’t really been with any one else. Not any one meaningful, anyways. You doubted that the sex was as good for him as it was you, but you hardly had anything to compare to.

“I mean, he’s a six foot Navy aviator with an ego. What do you think?”

Joy raises an eyebrow. “And what about size?”

“Absolutely not, do not answer that. I still have to serve him at the Hard Deck, please do not give me intimate details about Seresin’s dick size.”

“I wasn’t going to...?” You say, offering him a curious look. “You picked me up after the first time we hooked up. If I was going to tell you any intimate details, I would’ve by now.”

“Wait, wait, wait, what?” Lauren says, waving her hands.

You sigh. “Jake and I hooked up as a one-night stand before we ever officially got together. I sort of fled the morning after and Reuben picked me up.”

“Man’s knows how to leave a hickey, that’s for sure.” Reuben mutters.

“Okay, let’s talk about literally anything else.” Max says, cutting the conversation off. “You applying to grad schools or anything?”

“Yeah. Just kind of vibing at the moment, though.”

“Didn’t-” Rueben start, but then cuts himself off, frowning. “Never mind.”

“Yeah, please don’t bring that up right now.” You mutter. “What about you Max? What’ve you been up to?”

“Bring up what?” Anna asks.

Reuben sighs, glancing at you. “Nothing.”

It’s too late, everyone looking at you now.

“I just- I just found out I got rejected from a grad school yesterday. That’s all.”

That fact that it was Stanford you got rejected from goes unspoken.

“What happened to the gifted kid we all knew in high school?” Anna laughs.

“Burned out in college trying to be good enough for her parents.” You snap, shooting Anna a look. “She’s currently having a quarter-life crisis and would like everyone to please stop asking her about it, so Max, what have you been up to?”

The boy just blinks.

“How was drinks?”

“Awful.” You groan, all but collapsing on to the couch next to Maverick.

Reuben sighs, sticking in his hands in his pockets. “I don’t remember Anna being such a bitch.”

“You don’t maybe. I do.” You say, sitting up to look at him.

“Anna who always spent a lot of time around here?” Maverick asks. You nod and he clicks his tongue. “I never liked her all that much.”

You sigh. “How she behaved tonight? That’s how she treated me for seven years and I just let her. And yet she’s still the one who’s doing better.”

Reuben nods, conceding to you. “Well, if Anna doesn’t come with us again, would you want to come back out with us?”

You shrug. “I guess.”

“You don’t like them?”

“No, I think they’re great people. I don’t think they like me very much.”

Reuben scoffs. “What’re you talking about? Lauren and Max adore you. As does Tristan, they want you to come back out with us. You should’ve seen Lauren’s face when I said you were coming tonight.”

You sigh, unsure of how to explain to him that you felt like you would never escape who you were in high school, like they’d look at you and still see that girl you had been.

It really hadn’t been that long since you’d been at the high school that had made you feel suffocated with a life that felt dead-end.

Rueben was great, he’d always been. The best thing about him was his heart.

And his friends were great too.

But in high school, the lines had been drawn in the sand. You knew where you stood with them and it was about several social status levels below them.

Just because you now had a pretty, perfect boyfriend didn’t change that.

Reuben says your name, making you realize you’ve once against fallen silent for too long. “Sorry, what?”

“We’ll do next time on your turf, okay? You can pick wherever and whatever.”

You sigh, standing up from the couch. “Reuben, just leave it, okay? We’re never gonna gel as friends.”

“You and them? Or us?” He asks, with a frown on his face.

You wince, internally cursing your slip. “Reuben-”

“You still think I care that you might've been, what? A little dorky in high school? I saw a girl who was bright and intelligent and passionate. What did it matter that she went on a few tangents about the State of Union address because her Dad was there? You were one of the smartest people I interacted with in high school.”

You want to snap and say, yeah that’s the problem. I was the smartest kid you knew and knew exactly what I wanted and now I struggle to get up in the morning because I don’t even know who I am anymore.

But all you can do is sigh and look at Reuben. He scoffs, shaking his head, stalking to the front door before slamming it shut. Maverick winces as you struggle not to cry again.

“What the fuck was that about?”

“Nothing, I’m just a drama queen.” You mutter. “I’m going to bed.”

“Hi.” You look up from where you’re cleaning glasses to see Lauren and Max.

“Hey, Reuben’s just in the back if you want me to go grab him for you.” You offer, sticking a thumb to the back where Reuben was helping Penny sort the new delivery you got today.

Lauren shakes her head. “No. I just-” She sighs, looking at Max. “We just wanted to come say that well, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I love you, I think you’re great, and I’d love for you to come back out with us sometime.”

You huff out a laugh, setting the glass down. “Reuben put you up to this?”

She frowns. “No?”

Max sighs. “Look, I don’t even like Anna. None of us liked Anna, the only one who was friends with her was Reuben.”

“That’s only because she was a part of a different friend group.” Reuben says, appearing from the back with another crate of clean glasses.

You snort, grabbing the crate from him. “Funny to me you had multiple friend groups, I didn’t even have one.”

“Oh, c’mon, you had a friend group.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Yeah? Who, Reuben?”

He falters, clearly struggling think of someone.

“Reuben, I didn’t even get asked to prom. Let’s call a spade a spade, I was a loser.”

“I think you had your head so far in a book no one ever got a chance to see how great you are.” Lauren amends, offering you a kind smile. “And I’d love if you came and hung out with us again. And we will stop asking about your sex life, I promise.”

“Why, she doesn’t want to brag?” Jake drawls, appearing next to Lauren.

“No!” Reuben exclaims. “No intimate details about his dick size! I can’t do it!″

Jake gives Reuben a confused look as you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“This is your boyfriend?” Max asks. You nod. He extends a hand to Max and then Lauren.

“Jake Seresin.”

“Nice to meet you.” Lauren says. “You like escape rooms, right? We could do one of those? Boys versus girls.”

“I don’t know, the last time I did one of those it was with my Mom and I have it on good authority I’m a bit bossy.”

“The prehistoric ages, when your Mom was around.” Bradley says, appearing next to Jake at the bar.

“Shut up Bradshaw.” Natasha mutters, wedging herself in between him and Jake.

“Aw, she’s making friends. It’s like kindergarten all over again, this is so cute.” Coyote teases, appearing behind the group.

“Reuben and I both have next Monday off. How about laser tag?” You ask, ignoring Coyote even as your cheeks warm.

Reuben coughs awkwardly. “I’m gonna bow out of this one, thanks.”

Max startles. “What? Why?”

Reuben shrugs, not sparing you glance. “Cody and I already have plans.”

“Since when?” Lauren asks incredulously.

“Since last night.” You mutter under your breath. “It’s okay, I think I’m supposed to get dinner with my Dad’s that night. You know, family thing.”

“We are?” Bradley asks.

“No, just me and them.” You lie, praying Bradley just accepts it and moves on.

Lauren nods unconvinced. “Well, our door is always open. Just give us a holler, we’ll be around.”

“What happened to dinner with your Dad’s?”

You grunt, picking up another rock and tossing it in the lake.

Lake Murray had become little more than a pond over the years, but with the park nearby and walking trails all around it, it became a great place to come to hide away when you needed to think.

“You know, you are one hard lady to find.”

“Shut up Jake.” You mutter.

Your pretty, perfect boyfriend was a liar. He’d had your location since the time you’d gotten too drunk and had just hit share indefinitely when he’d come to pick up from the bar.

“Is everything okay?”

“No.” You say honestly, not having been okay in months.

Still, it stung even more today, waking up to another rejection from a grad school program, this time from your alma mater.

Jake sighs. “What’s going on?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it.”

He huffs. “I’m worried about you.”

The Why? sits in your throat, crushed by the guilt that you’ve been making your pretty, perfect boyfriend worry about you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to.” Is what you mumble out instead, kicking another rock, watching it tumble down the edge towards the lake.

“Would you please talk to me?” He all but begs, a hint of desperation in his voice. “You’ve been acting strange ever since you got the Stanford decision back and I want to know what’s up with my girlfriend.”

His girlfriend, who he hasn’t even said I love you to yet, making you wonder if he ever would.

Rationally, you knew it was early, especially if this relationship wasn’t going anywhere. It was unreasonable to expect Jake to return your feelings and it was unreasonable to expect Jake to commit to a girl who didn’t have her shit together.

“It’s nothing.” You say, keeping your eyes on the deep blue water, slowly lapping at the shore. If you strain your ears you could hear the screaming of kids at the park across the way.

You hear him shuffle behind you, moving closer, but he doesn’t sit down. “Sweetheart.” He says, but stops.

You sigh, your heart aching with want, begging you to turn around give him a hug. To let him pull you close and run his fingers through his hair, whispering that it’ll be okay and that he isn’t go anywhere.

Maybe it would be better if the two of you broke up.

Maybe he would be better off without you.

You’re quiet for too long because Jake is sighing and you can hear him take a few steps back. “You want to be alone?”

You nod.

He leaves.

You blink, the tears stinging at your eyes as Lauren posts a picture of her and Joy with a handful of other girls that had been friends with them in high school.

my girls xx is what she posts on the story of them out getting drinks and you have to close the app before the stories can continue on.

You sigh, letting the phone rest on your chest as you hear Maverick downstairs, crooning along to Voulez-Vous as he cooks dinner with your Dad. You should put your phone away, pull yourself together enough to go down there, and spend time with them. It’d probably do wonders for you to take a break from your phone, from social media, where it feels like everyone is living a better life than you would ever have.

Your phone buzzes on your chest but you don’t bother to check it, still just listening the commotion from downstairs. Maverick has set the fire alarm off again.

There’s a knock against your window, causing you to startle. With big windows that overlooked the ocean, birds would occasionally fly into the glass, but this was definitely more of a knock than a thud.

You lift your head, catching sight of your boyfriend’s blonde hair shining in the setting evening sun, casting a warm orange glow over the room.

“What the fuck?” You mutter to yourself, pulling yourself off the bed and over to window, pulling it open. He grins at you.

“Pizza delivery.”

You blink, staring at him. “How the fuck did you get up here? Why are you up here?”

He shrugs. “A magician never tells their secret and you weren’t answering your phone. C’mon, come have a picnic with me.” He nods his head down to the sandy area just off of your back porch. You know it’s conveniently just out of sight for either of your Dads if they were to walk past the sliding glass doors. You sigh, shaking your head. “Give me two minutes.”

He nods as you shut the window. You pad down the stairs, slipping into the kitchen for the bottle of champagne leftover from your grad party months ago. Maverick grins at you as you pull the bottle from the fridge.

“Doing some day drinking?” He asks.

“Something like that.” You say, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. He eyes them. “In case, you know, I spill.” He nods, giving you an unconvinced look.

“Jake’s outside, isn’t he?” He whispers.

“Maybe.” You whisper back as your Dad emerges form the pantry.

“What’re we whispering about?” He asks and Maverick gives him a grin.

“About how I find you so sexy, baby-”

You groan, cutting the man off. “Gross, stop. I’m going outside to enjoy the sunset.”

Your Dad nods, too preoccupied with Maverick. You’d tell them they better be careful or the food will burn again but it’d distract your Dad and you know Maverick is giving you an opportunity to get outside unquestioned.

You slip out on to the patio, catching sight of Jake resting on the blankets he’s laid out, pizza boxes open in front of him.

You set the champagne down along with the glasses, catching sight of the white box. You open it as he pops open the champagne, revealing the chocolate-covered strawberries.

“Pizza and chocolate-covered strawberries? Thought you said the bar was in hell if this was romance.” You tease, sliding the box back across the blankets. He huffs out a laugh as you settle down on to the blankets.

“Well, maybe I could be learning a thing or two from Troy Bolton.”

Your head rests against Jake’s thigh, his head propped up near your feet. You feel warm, the alcohol and good food coursing through you as you watch the setting sun turns blood red at the horizon. Jake’s other hand is resting on your foot, thumb gently running over your ankle.

“Thanks for doing this.” You say and he gives you a smile. A genuine one, not the lazy grins he usually he puts on for the rest of the world.

“Anything for you darling.” He pauses for a moment, his movements on your ankle continuing. “But I do want to talk about why you’ve been so weird lately.”

You shrug, shifting. “I’m just feeling weird, I guess. Call it a quarter life crisis or whatever, but I’m just feeling a bit strange.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. I’m not where I thought I’d be at 22, which is so stupid because I have my whole life laid in front of me and yet I- I always thought I’d have my life figured out. I’d know what I want to do and where I’m going. I’d have my forever relationship and my forever group of friends. But I’m getting rejected from grad schools left and right, I’ve got no solid group of friends. I hang out with my pseudo-brother’s friends most of the time and work a job my Daddy got for me. I live at home, for Christ’s sake. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy being with you because I l-” You pause, cutting yourself off, almost reeling at the fact that you'd almost let the words slip out.

You loved Jake Seresin but you were uncertain he loved you in return.

“I do like being with you. But all my friends from school, they’re engaged or married and have solid careers or amazing grad school offers and best friends they have game nights with and weekly drinks and I don’t know, they fucking meal prep together. And it’s added on to the fact that I’m like sort of friends with Reuben now, who I always thought was so cool in high school. You know, he had that life. He went to the football games and had dates to dances and surfed and had friends to hang out with. Still does. And I’m realizing I’m sort of starting to grieve a life I didn’t have in high school. You know, a life I could’ve had if my life had been just a bit more stable. My Dad had his cancer treatments and my parents were locked into this nasty court battle over child support. Not even over me but how much money I was worth. Maverick was never around, Bradley too, and I’m just-” You squeeze your eyes shut, taking a shuddering breath. “I’m upset because I could’ve had that life in high school if I wasn’t busy taking care of myself and making sure I stayed alive. If I wasn’t busy trying to make it into college because I knew it was the only way I’d make something of myself, the only way I’d be worth something in my parent’s eyes.”

You sit up, the tears slipping down your face. “I feel like a failure. And even more than I feel like a failure, I’m angry at losing out on all I could’ve had but didn't get because of my parents.” Your voice is raw and wet as Jake sits up too, pulling you close to his chest. “My whole identity for so long has been about my academic success and now that the academics don’t want me, I have no idea who the fuck I am.”

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispers into your hairline, pressing a soft kiss there.

You hiccup. “How? I’m a mess.”

He chuckles, pulling back slightly. “I’m proud of you because you did survive. I agree, it’s not fair to you that you had to raise yourself. I’m proud of you though because you got through all that and now you get this amazing opportunity to learn who you really are without all the books and smarts.”

You shrug, glancing away from him.

He sighs, cupping your chin. “Sweetheart, just because the academic success goes away doesn’t take away from how wonderfully brilliant you are. You are so intelligent, and I, for one, am so excited to see who you become in this next stage of your life. I think I’ve already gotten glimpses of her and I-” He swallows, pushing some of your hair away from your face. “I love her so fucking much.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you look back to him.

“I love you sweetheart.” He licks his lips nervously, eyes darting around your face as if trying to gauge your reaction. “I know this is probably bad timing but- but it sounds like you needed to hear it. And I know I don’t fix it or make it go away, but- I’m here.” A new wave of tears hits you and Jake pulls you back to his chest. “I know I’m not high school or prom or Stanford, but I-”

“Jake, shut up.” You say, wiping at your eyes as you try to push the tears back. He snaps his mouth shut, falling silent, even as he hand falls to your waist to rub circles into your side. “I love you. So much, you have no idea.”

He smiles. “Good to know.”

You groan, wiping at your eyes again. “God, I ruined our date. I’m sorry.”

“Sweetheart, no.” He says firmly, scooting back. “I’m glad you felt like you could talk to me about this. I get that it’s probably hard to voice and I’m happy to know you’re comfortable talking about these things with me.”

You sniff, giving him a half-shrug. “Still-”

“No. None of that. C’mere.” He says, pulling you to his chest and then laying down on the blankets. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you too.” You whisper back, nuzzling closer into him as he runs his fingers through your hair. You sit there for a while, the sun going from red hues to a dusky purple.

“I have a question.” He asks.

“Go for it.”

“Why did Reuben make that comment about not wanting to know my dick size?”

You groan.

#jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin fic #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin fic #top gun: maverick #top gun: maverick fic #maroon

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behindthewanderlust · 7 months

Text

Waterworks

Murdoc x gn!reader

Masterlist

Summary - Murdoc likes to think he’s a decent enough lover. Except for when you give him a problem he doesn't know how to solve.

Word Count - 904

Warnings - Hints of Murdoc’s alcoholism, Murdoc’s self doubt (he thinks he’s a bad partner), this isn’t beta read

A/N - Can take place in any phase! Also, constructive criticism is very much welcome! If I missed any warnings, please let me know

——————————————————————————

Murdoc likes to think he’s a decent enough lover.

Don’t get him wrong, he could do a better job and he knows you deserve someone better than him…but hey, you haven’t left him yet - that’s gotta mean something, right? He can make you laugh like no other and will buy you the flashiest shit on the planet if you asked. He knows how to do that well.

So it’s quite unfortunate that you’re now crying in his arms. He shifts uncomfortably, he doesn’t know what to do about this. He’s tense as you sob into his chest; his mind races, wondering what he should do or say. He gives you a few awkward pats on the back, something he remembers Noodle doing the last time he vomited after drinking too much. Drinking’s always been how he solved all his negative emotions. He almost suggests it, but stops himself, knowing he doesn’t want you to end up like him.

Murdoc thinks about getting Noodle, Russel, or the nitwit - someone, anyone who can comfort you better than he ever could. He thinks about a previous time you cried, Russel made you tea and offered you words of wisdom before watching a movie with you. Another time, 2D and Noodle brought you food to lift your spirits. Kind gestures don’t come easily to Murdoc, he mentally curses his bandmates for having sympathy. He tries to get up to grab someone, but you hold him so tight there’s no point in standing up. His shirt’s soaked, and you only seem to be crying harder. Murdoc’s powerless, a feeling he can’t stand. Negative thoughts gnaw at his insides with each sob you let out; he silently beats himself up for being such a useless boyfriend.

“Er - uh, do ya wanna talk about it?”

A sense of familiarity is felt when Murdoc finally spits a question out. He remembers Russel asking the same question after he first witnessed one of Murdoc’s drunken depressive episodes. You shake your head and whine out a quick no thank you. His memory’s a bit spotty, but Murdoc remembers his reaction being much more violent; a chair was possibly thrown in Russ’ direction.

He glances over at a clock that may or may not be set to the incorrect time. You’ve been crying for hours - at least, that’s what Murdoc thinks. Father Time would disagree and say you’ve been wailing for only seven minutes. He sighs, starting to feel a bit impatient. He’s got a raging headache from the stiff drinks he had last night. His plan was to keep this escapade from you, not wanting you to know he’s been drinking again, but he knows you’re not an idiot. You smelled the remnants of alcohol when you barged into his room, face wet with tears.

Murdoc then wonders if distraction would work. He’s already 0-2 when it comes to ideas, so why not go for a strikeout?

“Ha! I just remembered! I swiped Noodle’s last cig earlier,” he starts to boast, “and she gets all pissy ‘bout it, but guess who she’s blamin’? The half-brain 2D, who else? ‘Coulda told her I nabbed it, but why would I? Watching the two argue about a smoke was pure entertainment.”

Murdoc laughs again, before shifting you in his lap to sit more comfortably. “It wasn’t even a good smoke anyway.”

He begins to recall other events, like 2D’s voice cracking during a song, and Russel’s drumstick falling out of his hand. Murdoc, of course, claims to have played perfectly; not a single bum note coming from his bass.

“Ya should’ve been there, love,” he hums, his hand unconsciously rubbing your back much less awkwardly than the tense pats from earlier. You take a few sharp breaths. Murdoc notes how you’re slightly more calm than before. He took the moment to speak again.

“Now, why am I seeing waterworks? Spit it out, what’s got ya bawling like a baby?”

He doesn’t miss the amused huff you let out. You sniffle as you pull away from his embrace and wipe the tears. Your eyes are a bit dull, and your face is red and puffy. Murdoc still thinks you look nice. He stays quiet as you take a few more deep, shaky breaths to calm yourself. You speak, your voice cracking as you force the words out.

“I just had a rough day, that’s all. Thanks for holding me.”

Murdoc wipes a stray tear from your eye before looking down at his shirt. It’s cold and wet with your tears and snot. Your eyes follow his, and you cringe at the mess you left on his clothes. The room is silent, save for the murmur of the TV you didn’t even realize was on. You enjoy the moment; a calm that came after the storm instead of before. Your eyes dance across the room, not really paying attention to anything interesting before they land on your boyfriend, who is staring directly at you.

“Y’know, love,” he speaks, a grin forming on his face. “For a moment there, it felt like I was at Niagara Falls.” He laughs, the noise turning into a cackle as you groan and hit his shoulder. You roll your eyes before laughing too. The dullness of your eyes is now replaced with a slight sparkle. Murdoc couldn’t think of a prettier sight.

Maybe he wasn’t as bad of a boyfriend as he thought.

#gorillaz fanfiction #murdoc gorillaz #2d gorillaz #noodle gorillaz #russel gorillaz #murdoc niccals #gorillaz fanfic #murdoc x reader

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plazmafields · 6 months

Text

It's ramble time because I started another playthrough of cyberpunk and have some Thoughts.

(Spoilers probably)

So I said in a previous post that I don't think Kerry is dating V just because Johnny's in his head, and I still believe that. However, I was also under the impression Johnny was a womanizer and way straight. However, now that they've fixed it so that what Johnny says is effected by your approval with him, Johnny's said some ... things. Things that make me think:

He's jealous of Kerry and V's relationship.

If you have high approval when Johnny gives you the quest Holdin' On, you can ask him why he and Kerry were always at odds. Johnny says something to the effect of: "Kerry could never decide if he wanted to fuck me or kick me out of the band. Problem was he has a dick, so I wasn't interested."

Now in my last 2.0 playthrough, my choices at the end of Phantom Liberty locked me into a low approval with Johnny that I couldn't come back from. With low approval, if you ask him in V's apartment if he's ok with you sleeping with Kerry, Johnny says (paraphrasing): "Sleeping with? He fucked you once. Don't get used to it."

However, with high approval he says: "Yeah. Kind of ironic, Kerry was always trying to get into bed with me and I guess he finally got what he wanted thanks to you."

V responds to this with: "You know, it's not always about you. Thought ever cross your mind?" And Johnny gives a snarky remark.

With low approval, Johnny is very defensive about Kerry sleeping with V. He and Kerry were friends, good friends, but even Johnny admits (while at his grave) that he never let anyone get too close to him. Kerry probably knew him second best after Alt, but how much of that was Johnny truly opening up, verses forced proximity? I really don't feel like Johnny is the type to be all "what are your intentions with my boy?" any time Kerry got a new boyfriend.

With high approval, Johnny still manages to make it about himself (as always), but for some reason his tone of voice sounds like he's not joking, he's genuinely thinking about whether this counts as him having fucked Kerry.

Now this leads me to ask: was it Johnny who had the crush on Kerry, and not the other way around? He brings it up all the time while you're doing Kerry's missions, but after Rebel Rebel, Kerry doesn't talk about Johnny unless you ask. None of the options when you talk to him at home mention Johnny, on the boat when he talks about Samurai, he doesn't bring up Johnny, and when he talks about starting a new chapter in his life you can ask "does this have anything to do with Johnny?" he says No very confidently, then takes a second to think and realize that none of this "rebirth" would have happened without V and Johnny. But (at least to me) he doesn't seem to consider Johnny part of his life anymore.

I think Johnny HATES that. I think Johnny always saw himself as hot shit and the most desirable man on the planet, and the idea that a gay man didn't want him drives him crazy. If Kerry were straight then of course he wouldn't fall victim to Johnny's charms.

If Kerry were bi (see my previous post if you wanna know my feelings on Kerry's sexuality in game vs in lore) then Johnny would have been able to convince himself Kerry just liked women more than men.

But he's not. Kerry's gay and somehow didn't want to ride Johnny seven ways to Sunday.

I don't know if that makes Johnny bi or not, but I really feel that Kerry wasn't the one who wanted to get into bed with Johnny, it was always the other way around.

~~~

I'm not convinced by this next part, but here's some tentative evidence to the contrary, if you wanna play devil's advocate:

In Kerry's sex scene, we see he likes something a little rough, and in some texts he mentions that he gets turned on when V is short with him (mainly thinking of the text convo you get if you start Phantom Liberty already dating Kerry).

Maybe Kerry likes when people play hard-to-get and ignore him, maybe he's got a bit of a humiliation kink going on, and maybe he got turned on by the way Johnny was always mean to him.

I feel like that's stretching things tho, we don't have a lot of evidence for that, just a text that was added after the initial release of the game, and a single slap in a cut scene.

Another thing to mention because I feel like I can't NOT mention it: why the fuck does Kerry look DIRECTLY into Johnny's eyes as he gets head from a fan on the stairs??? That kinda throws a curve ball into all of this and I'm not sure what to make of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #johnny silverhand #v x kerry #johnny x kerry #male v x kerry #silverdyne

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transgothicgenre · 1 year

Text

collection of my favorite alpha couple related quotes

"You have, uh, memories of the house that you first gained consciousness in, as a child, you think, when was the first time I was really conscious of my house? Even if you grew up in a hateful house, it's probably a nice memory, this awareness of your surroundings and that's where you belong. Now, the negative of that image, right, where you're conscious of where you are for the first time ever and you become conscious at the exact same instant that it's really not where you want to be? That's where these two people live."

tallahassee (the song)

"This couple that, that was supposed to get a divorce and then didn't"

going to dade county

"This is another one of those little songs, uh, about two people who I love so much that I continue to cause them to harm one another, uh, and I imagine them in my mind cursing me, but they can't do it without my permission, 'cause they're my people, so. It's a very old song. I hope someday they'll forgive me, but I suspect that they won't."

"This song also has a message, but it's a sort of simpler message. And that is: if the person that you live with and love is trying to kill you, it's best to leave."

spilling toward alpha

"This used to be my favorite song to play. It's one of those songs about this couple that I dreamt of that, that was divorcing. Always they'd be divorcing. If you go over to their house, they were open about it, in my mind, you'd go and say, 'hey, you guys, what's up with you?' 'Ah, you know, I'm-a divorce his ass, fuck this guy,' and then he'd be like, watching TV, and go, 'She says that all the time and she's not going anywhere, she knows where the booze is at,' and then you say, 'Wow, what time is it getting to be? I suppose I'll be on my way. It was --' and you lie… 'It was good to see you both, I miss you, so come on down some, sometime,' and meanwhile, when you leave, you pray to the God in whom you don't believe that they will never, ever drop by your house, because they'll fuck that shit right up. I have an affection for this couple. I wish they would get the divorce that they need, but it never seems to happen for them. I'm in control of the situation, so there must be something wrong with me, that I won't give them what they want."

alpha sun hat

"…I don't quite get what is going on in this song. Most of the time I have a pretty good idea of what's going on with the people, and I don't really know what is behind the refrigerator in this song. I will someday find out."

alpha gelida

“This song is about a house in southern Florida where a lot of bad things happen because of the two people who are making the bad things happen to each other. They really do love each other but they’re not really entirely clear [on] how to express that. So, they try to kill each other.”

southwood plantation road

"This is a song about how you find yourself in a relationship that's really not going where you had hoped it would go, and you say to yourself in the seventh year of that relationship, 'Why am I still hanging out here? You know, that's seven years off my life, I only have so many on this planet. That's seven years I've given to this -- well, I'll stick it out another seven, see what happens.' I'm here to tell you that you don't have to give those second seven, really, seven seems like a fair point at which to start cutting losses. But you know and I know that you're not even here tonight if you're into the whole concept of cutting losses."

"There’s a Led Zeppelin song that goes ‘Good times, bad times, you know I had my share.' Well, this song takes out all the other stuff that was confusing the narrator, the parts about the good times and the having your share. This song is about having more than your share, more than everyone else’s share, bad times coming into your house and overflowing out onto your porch. Bad times. Bad times. Bad times! Game Shows Touch Our Lives!"

game shows touch our lives

"This here is a song. That I want you to sing...to the one you love. When the time comes, you will know when the time comes. You won't like it. You won't feel like singing. I want you to remember, when the time comes that I told you this thing would happen. It will make you look crazy. There's nothing like looking crazy to give you the edge."

(two years later in a different venue) "Anyway, if you like this song and you know the words, I should like for you to sing it like you mean it, all of the words, because there may come a day, there may come a day when you're gonna need the words to this song. You'll be sitting there, going, 'What has become of my marriage? This blows!' I want you to remember that I gave you a little something that you could sing, because when that time comes, there won't be much to do besides sing."

no children

"This is a song about encroaching dread."

peacocks

"I wonder if you guys saw this commercial that they used to play when I lived up in Iowa. I didn’t see it anywhere else, I don’t know if it was nation wide, or what, but, um, they use to have this commercial they would show that was like, you know… laughs it was the best thing. I hope you saw it! But I don’t know if it was maybe a Iowa and Minnesota get-people-to-go-to-the-lakes thing– though I assume you have lakes down here also. But it was a kid’s voice– oh, this is going to be a long story, hold on– It was a kid’s voice and reminded me of one of the best songs of the 80s, that great decade the 80s that brought us such great music as “Dear Mister Jesus.” Did you ever hear “Dear Mister Jesus?” It was a song sung by a five-year-old, and it was that sort-of Christian pornography, that like, you go, “Oh, the kid said Jesus. What could be better?” And if you are like a guy who is going to Mega Death shows in Long Beach in his spare time, you look at “Dear Mister Jesus” with wonder and reverence and go “Aw, this is the best time to be alive!” because “Dear Mister Jesus,” right? But it was clear that they had asked the kid to talk dumber then she actually was and she sings like: “Dear Mister Jesus, I don’t know what to do” and it was like that, right? So this commercial I’m thinking of that ran in Iowa, was the “Dear Mister Jesus” voice, but the kid was asking his father to take him fishing. This is the sort-of thing that weighs very heavily on Midwestern Dads, I think. If you are a kid listening to this, and you want to just rip out your Midwestern father’s heart, then I suspect asking him to take you fishing on a day he can’t do it is a good way to do that. But the commercial went: “Take me fishing, because I won’t be nine forever!” “Take me fishing, because there’s only one sunset a day!” And I would watch this video and go “Oh man, Dear Mister Jesus has gone fishing, this is cool!” Right? I want you to bear those noble sentiments in mind as I play an unreleased song from Tallahassee about the day the guy gets drunk and goes fishing."

alpha chum gatherer

"This is a song - takes place in California - it was on the first CD - it's about that moment in which you know it's not going to get any better, but you want to prove to somebody exactly how strong you are."

orange ball of hate

#the mountain goats #alpha couple #the alpha couple #sorry for how long this is. i like them #post #e

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rion-writes · 8 months

Text

Real Wizard Shit (Part 1)

He kept going, but I couldn’t help feeling like something about the fans didn’t match up with the story. [ Dead Man in a Ditch, Chapter 62]

Happy Server-Versary Sunder City! Have a (mostly) articulate lay out of my breakdown of Wizards and their place in The Code

It would be real easy and entirely too convenient for Fetch to be right about everything. It would also be slightly naive to think that any party presenting information has a full understanding of the situations and that they were not lying.

On the surface level we're shown and told that there has also been some tension between Magum and Humans and yadda yadda yadda the Code happens…

…and blame rests entirely on the Human Army.

The Human Army sent their machines into the mountain but when they tried to harness the power of the river, something far more terrible happened. The shimmering river of magic turned from mist to solid crystal. It froze. The heart of the world stopped beating and every magical creature felt the change. [ Last Smile, Chapter 1]

The mechanical fans had been replaced long ago by magical technology. By the time the Coda happened, the lamps, factories, and the whole damn city was plugged into portals, not pipes. When the river froze and the Wizards lost their power, the channels closed up and the flames were trapped below.[ Dead Man, Chapter 63]

Seven years ago, when the Human Army pierced the surface of the sacred river with their machines, the soul of the planet responded by turning into crystal. [ One Foot, Chapter 52]

It's presented as such a concrete fact that these and other iterations of it appear in all the books and in multiple contexts. I'd we're validating the fact that the Human Army cause the River to freeze why do we ignore that, canonically, we have the confirmation that Wizards were mucking around too?

Fact is we(and Fetch) don't know exactly what happened at the river but there's more than a passing chance that are some shenanigans going around and every step of the way the reader is sort of validated to think about how exactly Wizard Magic works.

In Fetch's Flashback in Last Smile in Sunder City I've pulled some of the relevant quotes (Chapter 24). Bold emphasis mine.

Wizards do not create magic from their fingertips. They transport it. There is a commonly held belief among the Magum that pockets of pure magic – a “river” of magic, to some, exist deep inside the planet. The Wizards, somehow, are able to teleport pieces of that magic up to the surface. Different spells pull their power from different pockets, or so the story goes.

Instead of summoning energy from the source of power to a Wizard’s hands, this is a Wizard sending magic from the source out to a specific location.

But rather than bring the power from the source to their fingertips, they stand at the source and use the portal to push the magic somewhere else. This, I think you will all agree, is a far more likely explanation.

The only conclusion I can come to is that the Magum are working from this place, this gash in the earth, and they are using its power to destroy our cities without consequence.

His guilty hindsight is giving the context that Fetch was tricked and manipulated into reveling where he knows The Great River can be accessed. Our problem as reader is that the Human Army was partially right.

Were Wizards going wild and attacking human cites left and right? Probably not. The issue is that they might have been doing more with the Great River than s implying pulling magic from it via portals. We're told from other magical citizens int he know, "Using the four fingers to create specific, intricate patterns, we could open tiny portals from which pure magic would emerge." [Last Smile, Chapter 2] ; "Well, Wizards were able to summon energy from some far-off place to the space between their hands. But only for a moment."[Dead Man, Chapter 29].

Then we have the matter that if we're being told in each book that the Human Army froze the river, in every book we have more or less have admissions that Wizards were doing something as well- and that The Opus might have known. It could be very easy to play off the con run on Fetch by the Human Army was a one off.

Except in Dead Man in a Ditch there is a letter completely unprompted from anyone on the Human side of things to Lance Niles from Hendricks:

Mr Niles,

I have been informed of your plans for Sunder City and humbly offer my services. In the days since the Coda, I have spent every waking moment researching ways to not only return this world to its former glory, but to go beyond what was possible in the magical age. I am delighted to hear of another like-minded entrepreneur and believe that you and I should meet in person at your earliest convenience.

To whet your appetite, I will tell you that I have spent the last year traveling to the Keats University on Mizunrum and I have information regarding the Wizards there that I am sure you would find most interesting.

Congratulations on all your recent successes and I look forward to our meeting.

Your Friend,

Mr Deamar

Would the High Chancellor Hendricks not know that Wizards were experimenting on the Great River? Fetch and the us are brought to one of the entry points to the Great River in One Foot in the Fade and we're treated to the fact that yes, The Great River is frozen and that yes, Wizards are actively mining it. He even observes the following in Chapter 52,

But now a quarry had been dug into the river’s surface. Now there were chunks of the divine being dragged away in mine carts. If all it took was a single intrusion into the river to stop it flowing, then how could it restart after an assault like this? […]This pit must have been made back before the Coda – just the kind of thing a kingdom of power-hungry Wizards might create if they wanted to increase their connection to the source of all magic – and that meant that it was all ready to be exploited once the river froze up.

Which jives with both the Human Army's assessment and how Wizard magic was known to operate by people that were not laymen to Magic. Prior to the Human Army invading the mountain, Wizards were experimenting on The River and its not just conjecture. Keats, the University that Wizards learned at, had also been mentioned in each of the three books was visited by Linda. She filled in some of the gaps that Fetch wasn't aware of,

When I told them about the Unicorn horn – and the fact that pieces of pure magic could be weaponized – the Wizards I was working with soon turned their minds to Incava. They knew of the chasm that had been created here. How the Wizards here had spent years digging down into the rock, hoping to draw their magic directly from below to make their spells more powerful than ever before. It was a secret endeavor, rarely spoken of outside those in the castle.” [ One Foot, Chapter 52]

There is no one in canon that has actually described how the Human Army froze the Great River. We've had multiple characters forthrightly admit that Wizards were experimenting on it. We have taken it entirely for granted that Humans are the ones that actually cause the Coda and until we find out that "how" we should probably keep an open mind on it.

#Fetch Phillips Archives #Sunder City

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streamafterlaughter · 1 year

Text

Fundamental Differing

Chapter II: Like A Lover, Not A Dancer

masterlist | playlist | chapter I

summary: Your album release show goes off without a hitch. For you, at least.

tags/warnings: rockstar!reader x rockstar!gn!afab!reader, mention of reader having boobs (feel free to skip that), slow burn, pining, angst, steve is impartial and the bestest best friend forever. mentions of blood/bruises/injury (non specific)

a/n: please don’t hate me i swore i’d make this one a Real slow burn but idk how imma do that without taunting us all. Please reblog to support the author!

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated.

Eddie’s POV

Pacing the length of his living room, Eddie talks aloud, mostly to himself, while his band mates sit along the couch, unsure how to help him out of his spiral.

“How am I supposed to mentally prepare for this? This is the biggest tour of our lives, and it’s with the one person capable of throwing me off my game. The one person that knows all of my weaknesses, everything that makes me tick. How am I supposed to be the person everyone thinks I am? They’re gonna see right through that shit.” He pivots to face his friends, and none of them can make eye contact. “Suggestions would be super appreciated right now!”

Gareth speaks then, timidly, “Ed, man, they probably feel the same way. You know all there is to know about Y/n. You’re both gonna go to extreme lengths to avoid each other just to realize neither of you have anything to worry about.”

“Yeah, my bet is you’ll be talkin’ like old friends within the first week.” Jeff chimes in. The two chuckle, until they see the expression on Eddie’s face. His lips are pressed together in a thin line, his eye twitching slightly as he attempts to keep his composure. “It’s true!” Jeff throws his hands above his head in surrender.

“Don’t get my hopes up like that, man. They broke up with me, ‘member? ‘Course ya do, I slept on your couch for a month when it happened.” His words wipe the smile from his friends’ faces. “I can’t walk around hoping and praying they’ll want anything to do with me. That can’t be who I am.” Eddie flops into the recliner across from them, defeated.

Your POV

You land in LA at 2:00PM, and are immediately rushed into a rental car, courtesy of Elektra Records. You’d been to California only once before, when you and Eddie had hit a restless phase and took a road trip to visit Will and El.

Now, though, instead of a big, dirty van, you’re in a sleek town car, on your way to The fucking Roxy to attend your band’s album release party. It feels like every sacrifice you’d made in the last two years finally makes sense! The planets have aligned, and you’re on the right path, or whatever the fuck. So why does your heart still hurt?

Robin grabs your hand, yanking you from your inner monologue. “We’re in LA, baby!” She’s hand in hand with Lilith, and Sylvie’s tucked into your left side. Steve pivots from the front seat to address you. “The party starts at ten tonight, be ready by seven. Call my room if you guys need anything, I’ll call when you have an hour left.”

You have to commend him, he’s got the mom thing down. “Yessir.” You all nod in unison, stifling the very laughter that kids would bite back after a mother’s lecture. But you appreciate him, there’s a reason you wanted him taking care of you. “Your performance is scheduled for ten thirty, we probably have fifteen, twenty minutes of leeway there though.”

Your smile is practically smacked from your face. “Our what?”

Steve looks up from his itinerary, matching your expression. “Did- did no one tell you?”

“I figured you told them!” Sylvie accuses, and Robin nods. You can perform on a whim, far over your stage fright after the hell you’d gone through. Performing has become cathartic, and you love a big audience. But Eddie was going to be in that crowd, and for some reason that scared the shit out of you.

“You’ll be fine! It’s not a full set, just three from the new album, bing bang boom you’re cutting a cake with your face on it.” He slaps his hands together to emphasize his point. As if on cue, the car pulls up to the hotel you’ll be staying at, and the doorman approaches to help with your bags.

You and Robin are sharing a room, spending the afternoon letting all your stress out as you prepare for the night.

“I just don’t get it!” You say for what feels like the hundredth time that day. “Why wouldn’t they tell us sooner?”

“My only theory,” Robin begins before blowing on her freshly painted nails, “Is that they know your history, and knew you’d try to back out if they told you. But how would they?”

They wouldn’t, you think, not to your knowledge. You never mention Hawkins, but you know Eddie does. Has he brought you up? You shake your head, shooing the thought away. “Whatever, nothing we can do now!” You pick a few clothing articles out of your suitcase, turning to Robin. “Which one?”

She smirks. “You know Eddie’s gonna be there, right?”

You shrug. “So?”

“So!” She catapults herself off the bed, taking the tight black dress between her fingers. “These will drive him fucking nuts! And I know you know that.”

You feign ignorance. Of course you’d thought about that, but why should it matter? “We’re broken up, Robin. This isn’t about him. Now which one am I gonna ruin tonight?” You hold each one up to you in the full length mirror. “The red one seems like a little too much,” You mumble, “But the black one is super nice on the melons.” You gesture to your chest, snickering.

It pulls a giggle out of Robin. “Definitely the black one, then.” She nods feverishly, and you mimic her movements, a grin stretching your mouth open.

Eddie’s POV

The joint burns in his fingers, dangerously close to singeing his hair before he snuffs it out in the ashtray. The California breeze is warm, inviting, but Eddie’s mood can’t be lifted even by the nice weather. He reluctantly returns from the patio, slamming the screen door behind him, causing Gareth to wince. “You alright, man?”

Eddie glares at his friend, who huffs a response. “You gotta get over it, Ed. Be professional, all that shit.” Gareth shrugs his jacket over a red and black flannel. “It’s not a big deal. You’re coworkers.”

“I guess,” Eddie sighs, pulling his boots on, tying the laces tightly. He swipes his hotel key from the bedside table, and follows Gareth to the elevator.

When he reaches the lobby, he stops dead in his tracks. Ten feet in front of him, behind his band mates, you stand with your own. You’re wearing a black dress with a denim jacket layered over it, and heavy black boots. Your hair falls to your shoulders, the color bright and impossible to miss. It takes all of his strength not to turn and run, but somehow he manages to stay put.

Jeff approaches him slowly, slapping a hand on his shoulder. “You’re good, man.” His voice is tired, and it’s only the first night of a very long three months ahead. Eddie nods, ripping his eyes from the back of your head. You don’t turn around, but the tensing of your shoulders tells him you know he’s behind you. He follows behind his bandmates, stalking out of the hotel room and into the car behind the one you enter.

Your POV

You can feel his eyes on you even after you get in the car. Sylvie puts a comforting hand on your shoulder as Robin grasps your free hand. You’re so grateful for your support system, you just wish you didn’t need it so much.

You zone out for the drive, trying your best not to think about the events lined up for tonight. More so, you’re trying not to think about how you’ll avoid Eddie all night. At your own party. That he’s attending.

Your legs start to bounce as the driver pulls around the back of The Roxy. The stage manager greets you at the door as Corroded Coffin pulls up behind you. You don’t dare glance over your shoulder, ignoring every urge to look at Eddie, and immediately let your guard down.

Instead, you part ways to your separate green rooms. Even though CC isn’t performing tonight, you assume they need the space to get away from rabid fans. It makes you slightly bitter, watching them get special treatment on a night that’s supposed to belong to you.

Lilith throws herself onto the couch in the corner. “So, I took the liberty of inspecting Eddie’s demeanor so you didn’t have to.” She taunts, crossing one stockinged leg over the other.

You pivot to face your drummer, a look of what you hope is confusion written on your face. “What?” She asks innocently. “You know I’m nosey! Anyway, he was doing everything in his power not to look at you. He caught me once.”

You chuckle. “Maybe he’ll think you’re into him and move on.” You turn back to the mirror, reapplying your blood red lipstick.

“Oh, shut up!” Lilith chucks a bottle cap at you, but it lands short. “I know you’re still into him.”

“I am not!” You really aren’t sure. You haven’t spoken in two years, mostly to make sure you didn’t give back in to him. You didn’t trust your own willpower.

“Five minutes, ladies!” A stagehand peeks her head through the doorway. You and Sylvie exchange an eye roll at her assumption. It doesn’t shake you, or even offend you, being called a lady, or a woman. You know it’s not meant as an insult, but if people would just listen to your music, it’s not that hard to understand.

The DJ set ends, and he plays Sonic Youth’s Kool Thing as your walk out music, and you relish in the way the lyrics resonate: Kool Thing sittin' with a kitty / Now you know you're sure lookin' pretty / Like a lover not a dancer / Superboy take a little chance here / I don't want to, I don't think so / I don't want to, I don't think so. You peek around the corner from backstage, into a crowd of teens and young adults, some wearing your shirts, most of them already sweating.

When the song ends, the house lights dim, and the crowd gets impossibly louder. Robin throws her bass over her head, and gives your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Ready to knock ‘em dead?”

You smile at her, and extend it to the rest of your band. The four of you huddle together.

“Okay, guys. This is it. How we do tonight is an indication of how the tour is gonna go. Now, WHO ARE WE?”

“DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!”

“I SAID, ‘WHO ARE WE?!’”

“DEATH DANCE APPROXIMATELY!”

You chant together, hyping yourselves up, building to an excited babble of voices overlapping. You grab your own guitar from a stagehand, and the four of you walk on to the stage to greet a screaming crowd.

Eddie’s POV

His eyes don’t leave you as you make your walk to your microphone. Your dress hugs every dip and curve of your body, leaving nothing to the imagination, not that Eddie has to imagine any of it. Your lips are dark, blood red, and your hair glows under the colorful lights. Your boots are thick, platform heels that lift you an extra three inches off the ground, giving the impression that you’d stomp out anyone that crosses you. Your skin is littered with tattoos, plenty more than the last time he saw you. They cover your arms and legs, heavy lines and bright colors. You look like an art piece, one Eddie could spend the rest of his life admiring.

He doesn’t recognize the song you open with, knowing it’s a new one off the album due to be released at midnight. Your voice hooks him in anyway; raspy, sounding angry, hurt, and like you’re singing right to him. Every fight you’d ever had with him, every night you’d wept in his arms, it’s all expelling from you on that stage, and he can’t help swimming in the pain it causes him.

Eddie gets it, the way a show can calm him in an instant, he can get every piece of aggression out of him without hurting anyone else. Watching you perform for the first time since breaking up is hypnotic, making his heart skip around erratically. He turns to the bartender. “Make it a double,” he calls over the music.

“What the fuck is up, LA?!” You scream when you finish your first song, and the crowd responds with shrieks. “We are Death Dance Approximately, and it’s lovely to meet you. Welcome to our album release show!” They scream again. “Please feel free to stick around until we unveil it. This is our first single, it came out last month. It’s called Pretty Boy.”

Eddie’s eyes widen. He never expected you to play the song again, let alone make it a single, but Pretty Boy had become such a staple song for both avid fans and casual listeners. Usually he can’t listen to it, but right now Eddie can’t bring himself to look away from you as you sing the song you wrote for him.

I hadn’t slept in several days, / I hadn’t been warm in weeks, / But after you had met my gaze, / I let my body breathe. / It felt less like a heart attack, / and more like coming home. / I let your body keep me warm, / so I don’t have to sleep alone. / Pretty boy, my heart is yours, / and I hope you’ll say the same, / Cause after all these lonely nights, / I just want to hear you say my name.

It’s crazy to hear the crowd sing with you, adding ambiance to your already angelic voice. Eddie feels his breath catch in his throat, and gulps his whiskey down to suffocate it. As you move into the third song, and Eddie’s about to call it a night, he’s approached by a group of what looks to be twenty somethings, girls about Dustin’s age now.

“Holy shit,” the short girl with spiky, purple hair squeaks, shouting over the music. “You’re Eddie Munson!” She covers her mouth, as if she’s spoken something forbidden.

Eddie scratches the back of his head and laughs. “Yeah, that’s me.” It’s a welcome distraction from the self torture of watching you.

“Would you sign my tits?!” a taller girl speaks, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders and her barely covered chest.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. It’s not the first time he’s been asked, but it never ceases to weird him out a little. “Uh, sure, got a marker?”

She hands Eddie a sharpie, and he signs her skin, leaning as far away from her as he can while doing so. They shout their thanks, and walk away squealing to each other. When he pivots back to the stage, you’re on your knees, singing right into the faces of the front row. What he’d do to have you that close to him again.

Your POV

You finish your third and final song of the night, leaving every ounce of your soul on the floor of The Roxy. When you’ve finished, you’re sweaty, smelly, and covered in glitter. Your makeup is smudged and running down your face, and your hair is tangled and sticking out every which way, but you’ve never felt better.

In the green room, Sylvie pops a bottle of celebratory champagne. “To our first sold out show!” You hold your glass up, and everyone clinks theirs together.

“Fucking awesome, you guys.” Steve praises, sipping his own bubbly. “I’m so proud of you guys.”

“Aw, you big sap.” Robin wraps an arm around his waist. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

You join the hug, and your bandmates follow. “Thank you, Steve.” You say, quietly enough that only he hears you.

“Any fuckin’ time.” He breaks the hug with some minor objections. “Feel free to relax before making an appearance.” He checks his watch. “Just be ready before midnight, you gotta be in there for the cover reveal.”

You feel your heart speed up. The cover. Shit.

December 1985

“Whoa, dude, lemme see!” Jonathan and Eddie are examining his wounded hand. Jonathan brings his camera to his face, pointing the lense at Eddie’s clenched fist. “I’ll definitely be sure to get you this pic, might make a sick album cover.”

Eddie never did, in fact, get a copy of that picture. You did, though, and you’d made it the album cover of your debut: Tighten Up. And now you had to unveil that album in front of the man whose hand is plastered on it. Fuck.

The Roxy is thumping with loud music, now playing Mind Riot from the overhead speakers as fans mingle with each other, drinks in hand. You walk to the long table set up in front of the stage, where plenty of DDA fans grip their tour posters, waiting for you to sign. You’re still not used to the sheer amount of people in front of you, all there because of your music, your words.

“Okay, everyone!” Steve grabs the mic and makes his “I’m In Charge” announcements. “The band will be doing some signings, and copies of the albums are available to purchase. Please, don’t take too much time, I know it’s all very exciting but we have a lot of people to get to. Patience is key! Now, I know Y/n wants to address you before revealing the cover, so lemme pass the mic.” He hands you the mic, and you take a step toward your audience.

“Hey, guys!” You greet, and they respond with their loud, disorganized whoops. “Thank you so much for coming out. We hope we see you again tomorrow for our show with the CORRODED COFFIN!” The name drop gets its own applause, and you’re satisfied with the taunting. “But right now, without further adieu,” You grab the sheet that covers the canvas holding a blown up picture of the album. “TIGHTEN UP IS OUT!” You shout, and yank the cloth. There, in all its glory, is Eddie’s bloodied hand, rings and all, with the album title plastered over it in your chicken scratch. The crowd screams, and you have no time to wonder what Eddie must be thinking right now.

Eddie’s POV

What the fuck. He’s not sure if he’s seeing it right. His own hand, clenched in a fist, covered in some jock’s blood, on the cover of your debut album. He catches Gareth’s eyes, and makes an “I don’t know” face, that Gareth only returns with confusion. Eddie isn’t sure how to feel. Will people recognize his rings? Are their fans that crazy?

Before his brain can stop him, he’s walking further into the crowd, towards you. He doesn’t know what he’ll say, if he’ll even say anything. Instead, he watches you for awhile, talking to your fans like they’re your closest friends as you scribble on their posters and CDs, and pose for pictures. You look comfortable, at peace, and there’s no way he’d want to ruin that. He takes a gulp of his new drink, feeling the effects of the alcohol in his bloodstream.

“Hey,” It’s Steve, with a beer in his hand. “Sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t think it was my place. And to be fair, Y/n had no inkling you’d ever see it, especially like this.” He takes a sip, waiting for Eddie’s response.

He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the clenching in his gut. “Nah, it’s cool. Really cool, actually. Didn’t know they still thought about me that much.”

Steve hands him a copy of the album. “See for yourself.”

Eddie grips the jewel case in his hands, and opens the album. The disc has the same picture printed on it, and the jacket unfolds to reveal the other picture taken that night, the one of his hand on your throat, covered with lyrics to songs titled Indiana, and Underneath Hell. He can make decent guesses as to what they’re about.

“Go say hi.” Steve shoves him a little, more playful than aggressive.

“Are you serious? I don’t wanna ruin their night.”

“You won’t,” He takes another swig, “I think it might make you both feel better. Cut the shit, get it over with. You’re gonna be stuck with each other all spring, might as well.”

Eddie downs the rest of his whiskey, letting the liquid burn his throat as the buzz takes over. Steve offers his hand, and Eddie gives him the glass. “Here goes nothin.’” He huffs, and disappears into the mob of fans. Many turn their heads, giving double takes when they realize who he is. He ignores the shouts to get his attention, not wanting to draw it away from you. Steve is only steps behind, guarding him from being grabbed at as he snakes to the front. Steve reaches the mic stand, and announces that the band is going to take a break, and to enjoy the refreshments. Eddie watches as you look from your manager, to your bandmates, and then to him.

Your POV

Eddie doesn’t look away when you meet his eyes. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his jeans, and he’s chewing on his lip nervously. You look to Steve again. “What’s happening right now?”

“Would you just go say hi? Act like you know the guy a little.” He shoulders you, causing you to stumble slightly. “C’mon, the rest of you,” Steve addresses the band, “Go take a break, sit down, have some water.” Steve looks back over his shoulder, and waves Eddie over. “You two, go catch up in the green room or something. I’m not letting you both be fucking weird this entire tour. Mingle.” He’s being serious. He ushers you backstage, and finally separates himself to join your friends, leaving you alone with the only person you probably shouldn’t be alone with.

You crack open a beer and take a large gulp. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

chapter III

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills | send a message to be added🫶

#st #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #rockstar!eddie #rockstar!reader #gn!reader #new kid fic #fundamental differing #angst #heartbreak #pining #slow burn #strangerthingscentral #st4 #au where eddie lives #90s au

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ofhouseadama · 2 years

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I found a past post from you of how very much Julian would want to be protected/rescued by Garak but also being unable to articulate that or even realize it. And Yes Garak is all about the physical protection, conniving to get anyone who would harm Julian destroyed, threatening the life of anyone (S31) who tried to force him into something he didn’t want, etc.

But I’m weak for the idea of Julian getting triggered by something (war trauma? Patient loss? Missing friends? Anti-augment news from the federation? The sight of a family with a child with learning disabilities who obviously love that child? Idk) and Garak just… emotionally protecting him. Getting him home where he can take him into his arms and stroke his hair and murmur “I know, dearest” very softly to him. And Julian…just loses his shit. Full-body shaking sobs and clutching him hard enough to make an unintended tear in his tunic and repeating “don’t go” over and over whilst he struggles to breathe. Not even fully as a reaction to the upsetting event but because he’s having an emotional release/upheaval in that he didn’t think this kind of care was something he could have. And the thought of losing it-even just because Garak wanted to end the embrace too soon for Julian’s standards-is suddenly Unbearable.

Oh for sure.

I think, in general based on what we see on the show, Julian is someone who is adept at shoving things down for a long long time before they come back up with the force of an erupting volcano. He's gonna take in the distressing information and immediately shove it down to avoid processing it and feeling the distressing emotion. And that makes him a good doctor and an excellent trauma surgeon, especially once the war starts! He compartmentalizes his emotions very well! He absolutely compartmentalizes them too well.

So does Garak. Or well, so did Garak. We see Garak hit that wall a couple of times during the show, but he's about twenty or so more years traumatized than Julian. He's at capacity. The wheels are falling off. Especially once the reality of Cardassia's immediate future finally lands for him in season seven.

They're both just staggering on, barely putting one foot in front of the other, by the end of the Dominion War. Mentally. But give them a task and they will continue, loping along, no matter how bad the injury is. And Garak's just been given a very big task: save Cardassia. Save her people.

And Julian is left to flounder. He's in fucking free fall. His friends and support network are dead or gone, his purpose is gone, he's got Section 31 breathing down his neck, and his C-PTSD now has a bunch of brand new violent trauma dumped on it. He, once more, can never go home again. DS9 will never be home again. Earth will never be home again. Starfleet may never be home again. He is outrunning the one mistake that will send him to an institution or into exile.

Which is why I love fics that have Julian running away -- to Betazed, to the Gamma Quadrant, to Cardassia. That boy is a runner, let him run! He's gonna outrun the trauma until it catches up to him and he hasn't let it catch him yet! But oh boy is that monster of childhood and now war trauma coming close to getting it's fingers in the back of his shirt and feasting on his psyche! I love the idea of Julian either fully going AWOL or otherwise putting in for a transfer/volunteering to go to Cardassia, thinking that it'll distract him. That he'll just be able to ignore his feelings for Garak and ignore his trauma like he always has. Because why won't he? He's been doing that for eight years. He's an expert.

But then he arrives on the planet's surface, six months after the bombardment, and gets slam dunked into a struggling rural hospital on the northern continent that needs a pediatrician who's not afraid of trauma... and simply never gets a moment to come up for air. He never even gets a moment to tell Garak that he's there. But it feels like he belongs to a crew again, and slowly starts to make friends again, has to throw all his extra energy in learning how to cook and how to be a plumber and how to be an electrician and any of the hundreds of things the people in the region need him to be and while he's just there to serve and to distract himself and to run away from himself... he ends up finding himself. Finding a community. Finding a place to exist and to breathe. And he starts to unspool, just a little, but it's okay because they're all struggling and all unspooling and all drinking too much and all being a little too reckless and far too restless, both the Federation aid workers and the Cardassians alike.

When snow comes to Cardassia for the first time in a millennia, it comes to the northern continent.

And when Garak arrives on the government transport bringing aid and relief workers, he finds Julian with a beard, wearing the ugliest sweater in the known universe, and speaking some hick dialect of Kardasi with a sick and snot-nosed toddler on his hip and understands why none of his subspace messages have been opened in eight months.

Because holy fuck has it been hard. Supplies are scarce and the terrain has been changed by the bombardment and the weather is violent and the water isn't safe to drink and food? I hope you like rations. There's hope for the next harvest but the one they were supposed to live on this winter never grew at all, not with the amount of chemical waste in the soil. The children are sick and the children are starving and the children need radiation medication and the children need vaccines and the children are injured, disabled, orphaned. But they are loved. And it's been absolutely intolerable. And Julian hasn't gotten a break once, which means he's never had to deal with it but also means he's exhausted. The only reason he's been getting by is because no one here knows him, not really, not well enough to call him out on it. And certainly no one here has the impetus to call him out on it, when they're all doing as poorly as he is -- certainly the Cardassians, but the Federation aid workers as well. They're all dealing with something. On the run from something. Avoiding their own truths and own pasts and their own pain. Because if they feel it at all, it's game over.

But Garak knows Julian. He knows that someone who is okay doesn't give up their post as CMO on a cushy space station in order to disappear into the frontier of rural Cardassia. He knows how abruptly Julian left. He's been worried and Julian has never worried him before. So he tries to get Julian alone, and Julian fights it, and Julian avoids him and it's just like during the war but this time there's no holosuite to break into.

So he corners Julian in the repurposed supply closet that is his office. And asks him what in the fuck is Julian doing here, because he's livid and concerned and just like, Julian, so, so tired.

And Julian knows why he's here, but doesn't want to think about why he's here, has spent the better part of a year not thinking about it. He's fallen out of contact with the people who love him in order to not think about it. He's been sleeping on a hard cot in his office on the pediatric ward to not think about it. He's been drinking too much, working too much, throwing himself fully into helping this community in order to not think about it.

But Garak is precise and needling and has never given up on something even once in his life so he keeps going until the cracks show in Julian's anger. He is an interrogator and a torturer and he knows. He knows. He's always known. And the breakdown Julian's been postponing since he was fifteen finally happens, in part because it has to and in part because he knows Garak will shoot anyone who comes through that door. He is safer here than anywhere else he has ever been in his life.

Garak knows how to take someone apart as quickly and efficiently as any surgeon, but has never really learned how to put them back together. But he's also always been a quick learner. When Julian collapses down onto the cot behind his desk, he asks if he wants him to go -- and gets a swift and choked off, no. Please don't go. You can't go now. So he stands between Julian's legs and lets him rest his forehead on his stomach. Puts his hands on Julian's shoulders, stroking gently, then his hair. For all that comfort is a foreign country, he's seen it given and taken. So he just doesn't move, and however long it takes is how long it takes.

Eventually, Julian gets a page from his charge nurse -- an infant has come in with febrile seizures -- and he has to go. The moment breaks. And they could both choose to not acknowledge it, to let it become another moment in a long line a moments that could have meant something. Could have built to something. But Julian wipes his eyes before checking to see if his tricorder is still in his coat jacket, and asks Garak if he'll still be there when his shift ends.

Garak says this is where they're stopping for the night. Then, hesitating for only a moment, offers Julian the spare keycard for the room he's been assigned for the night at the only hotel in town.

And Julian takes it.

#ask #anonymous #otp: there's hope for you yet #emily watches ds9 #do they fuck? maybe #but also maybe julian just needs a semi-comfortable bed and to get his hair petted

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teaandcharchives · 1 year

Text

Constant Ticking

Fandom: Homestuck

Pairing: Johndavekat

Word Count: 761

Rating: T (language)

Summary: Life on the new Earth C is weird, but Dave is starting to get used to it.

(part of my trans!dave series, but you don't have to read the rest to get this)

Read on AO3 Here, or read on tumblr under cut

I was cleaning up my fanfic folder and I found this. It was written in like 2018 and left to sit because I was planning to expand it, but it felt like a nice little snapshot where it was, so I just wrapped up the last chapter and am posting it now, because Homestuck is the fandom equivalent to the Hotel California. Anyway, pretend it's a late birthday present for Dave, I suppose?

I currently do not have any other snippets anywhere near this level of complete (though I have one other one that's like half done) so I'm not sure if this story will ever be updated again but, like I said, Hotel California of fandoms.

--------------------------

Time is weird as fuck here. It’s your thing, but when you got here the more broad sweeping parts changed. Hours, minutes, seconds, the lengths of time you usually hop around, are all the same. But days, months, years? On the meteor it was all arbitrary. There was no sun to say what day and night were supposed to be, so it was up to you and you kept it on Earth time down to the second.

But here? Here shit’s different. Jade tried to get the angles right, but the planet spins too slow- It’s 25 hours each day now- and it zooms around the new sun too fast-350 of the new days, which is about 364 and a half of the old. So, like, it’s close. It’s just enough to drive you nuts.

Well, okay, you’ve adjusted to that bit, but no one else seems to understand why you feel inclined to say “in 36 hours and 24 minutes” instead of “X time tomorrow.” That’s really what drives you nuts. So you know the age of this universe down to the millisecond, but John blindsides you when he tells you it’s your birthday.

Well shit, you should have known, really. You were at Jade’s and Jake’s joint party up until 42.5 hours ago.

“How old are we again?” You ask. Well, with the jumps you’re 167,270.43 hours with rounding for some uncertainty with states of limbo between dimensions when time is meaningless and beyond even your grasp. But you don’t think that kind of thing is useful for him.

For any of them but you and Aradia.

“Nineteen! Well, I mean, you are. I’ve got to wait four more months.”

Two thousand seven hundred and fifty hours, your brain translates.

Karkat throws a pillow at him because it’s the crack of dawn.

“What the fuck, Karkat? I brought food!”

Karkat grumbles and buries his face in your chest. You wince slightly, but you know he’s not thinking. Doesn’t mean anything. You take your pillow and carefully extract yourself from him anyway, busily telling yourself that.

“It's too goddamn early," you inform John.

"Pfft, says you."

You shake your head sadly. “You are a broken teenager,” You say. “A broken fucking teenager.”

He left twenty-five minutes ago. The clock said it was 6:32 new time. And it’s December. Which is a really fucking stupid thing since they decided to make the months even, so this is now month fourteen in the fucking calendar. But Quattordecember sounds even more fucking stupid.

John sticks his tongue out at you. “Or maybe you should start learning to be a functioning adult. I mean, you won’t even have the teenage excuse a year from today!” He gives you a plate of pancakes. And as much as you want to sass him more, there’s fucking blueberries in this and you missed blueberries so fucking much.

It’s the little things. Now you just need to get coffee figured out. Still, the sludge will do. Anything to get that precious, precious caffeine into your veins. You take an extra mug and waft it under Karkat’s nose until he perks up enough to snatch it.

“How long until we have to go all the way to the Crockers’ place?” You ask.

The curtains are open, and out of the corner of your eye you see Jane stop shoveling to wave good morning to you.

John waves back ecstatically before saying, “It’s at one.”

“And you woke us up at 7 why?!” Karkat demands.

“I was hungry and I didn’t wanna cook twice.”

Karkat steals one of John’s pancakes and takes a massive bite out of it. “None for you, then, asshole.” He says through his teeth.

John just laughs and takes one of his, making sure to cover the rest of his plate in syrup so Karkat’s hands will get sticky if he tries to take anymore. Unfortunately for John, you are a little shit and you have a fork. All of the pancakes have probably been on every single plate by the time you’re done, and they’ve dripped all over the sheets. But most of it’s on John, so you still consider that a victory.

You realize you haven’t thought about time once since John came in. The clock is always ticking in the back of your mind, as it has been since you entered the game, but the sound is quieter when you’re not alone. It’s an adjustment, but as long as they're around you think you'll eventually get used to this.

#homestuck #johndave #davekat #johndavekat #drabbles #dave strider

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viridiave · 7 months

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For the salty ask game my friend, the generator asks 3, 4, 13, 14 :)

Thanks for the ask Sly!! These got a little long tho oof I promise my other opinions won't get this intense

3) Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? - …I want to say no but I actually have done that a couple of times - whenever it happens it's always with a really popular content creator so I can't say it's a great loss on either of our sides.

4) Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? - Is Osvald/Throne big enough to count as a popular OTP? I've been seeing it a lot on my feed at least aksjaks like I know they're both adults but something about the age gap that's over a decade large makes me uncomfy. It's totally fine but I guess it's just not my thing? That's also generally my attitude towards Olberose even though I know IMPLICITLY that Olberic and Osvald would never do anything bad to them.

13) Unpopular opinion about XXX character? this could be better reserved for a different ask but like. Therion is one of the only ones that I have strong negative feelings on so let me unpromptedly tell ya'll why I think his story is the worst in both games, at least design-wise

Like. I UNDERSTAND what the game was trying to go for here. I also understand how people have come to like and relate to him so much, for reasons pertaining to his backstory and personality. I promise I get it. It's not like Theri himself is a horrible character but it's so not enough to salvage his story in my eyes

But there's a laundry list of reasons why I dislike Therion's arc and all of them have to do with the limitations of OT1's format. His story was just not suited for it, SPECIFICALLY because his story is all about regaining his trust in people. Like - every game critic on the planet can pop off about the lack of interaction between the Travelers, SURE, but in Therion's case I think the criticism is correct, because all of his growth can be achieved without ever having triggered the banters. It just feels so??? Unearned??? Because the people we're supposed to believe made this happen were Cordelia fucking Ravus and Heathcote - I don't hate either of those characters, just to clarify, but I think they're horrible catalysts for Therion's growth because for fuck's sake dude he's basically ENSLAVED by them. That sounds like a bit much, but Therion had no agency in this. Chapter 2 taught him BARELY ANYTHING, and in Chapter 3 he just HAPPENED to run into Darius again. How the FUCK am I supposed to believe that Cordelia's venting session did anything good for him in between that and meeting Darius again in Chapter 4??? Unless we're here to argue HEATHCOTE and that comes with its own set of problems.

I say this every time I complain about Theri's story - he is this game's biggest victim story-wise. If they just waited a little more to pull the lone wolf angsty thief storyline until they figured out a way to make a more interconnected plot, then I think it would have worked better! Out of every Traveler, Therion is the one who would have benefited the most from a Crossed Paths, hands-down - in fact switch Therion and Throne around and you'd have less loss because even Throne makes an effort to get closer to her companions on her own! My god! Give Therion better candidates to reconnect with! Like you know - the seven other guys you get to use???

14) Unpopular opinion about your fandom? - Sometimes I do think we go too hard on shipping, but that's an opinion I have about every piece of media ever so - but yeah uhm. Please make more genfics. Some days I just don't want to look at ships. This is why I write stupid shit about the god fights - I want to fill in that semi-shipless void with unhinged found family shenanigans

#octopath #octopath traveler #ask game #thanks again sly!!#sorry i just have too many things to say about therion's story and none of them are great #like. ok i will admit to tressa's story boring me somewhat but at least the progression made sense #and i have VERY pointed words to say to the people who wrote ochette's story #but therion's just. such a good example of why 8path's storytelling format is criticized as much as it is

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tiannasfanfic · 2 years

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Boys of Sumner: Part 2

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader (Angst)

Summary: After your family moves away from Evergreen when you were 16, you and Adrian Chase keep passing by each others lives like ships in the night. (Crossposted to AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up

Author Note: Have a good weekend!

CW: Reader is more gender neutral in this one, no pronouns used that I can remember. Some angst and sadness, missing people, siblings being jackasses.

Word Count: 1,903

Out on the road today, I saw a Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac. A little voice inside my head said, "don't look back, you can never look back." I thought I knew what love was, what did I know? Those days are gone forever, I should just let 'em go, but…

July 2016

Even though you only went through your first two years of high school in Evergreen, you still ended up with an invitation for Evergreen North High’s Class of 2011 five-year reunion. That baffled you until you saw three of your old friends in high positions on the planning committee. It all made sense then. They’d all been haranguing you to visit, and they finally found an excuse to lure you back.

You hadn’t been to Evergreen since the move seven years ago. There hadn’t been really any reason to, even though you and your dad often talked about how much you both missed Washington. While Phoenix was certainly warmer and had way dryer weather, which you both enjoyed a great deal, it never felt like home. Not like Evergreen still did, which is why your dad planned to retire there here in a few years.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” your dad asked you when you to told him you were thinking of going. “Hell, maybe you’ll get to see that Adrian kid again. I always did like him.”

Now there was a name you hadn’t thought of in a while.

Adrian Chase.

Out of all your old friends from school, he was the one person you hadn’t been able to stay in touch with over the years, or even reconnect with. Periodically you tried to see if you could find him online but had no luck. Either he was the last person on the planet to have any social media accounts or he had them very well hidden. You considered asking around about him a few times, but you couldn’t think of anyone to ask out of your old friends that still lived in Evergreen. They had never hung out with Adrian unless he was with you and neither side had kept up the friendships after you left. Even though you were the one that moved, it was like Adrian had made a quiet exit from your life without leaving a forwarding address.

Seven years ago, after leaving the Chase residence, you went straight back home to help your dad finish packing. A few of your friends and their parents stopped by throughout the evening to help and say goodbye. You even got calls from acquaintances from school who couldn’t come over but wanted to wish you a safe trip.

This was also the day you realized you were better liked at school than you had previously thought. That would’ve been helpful to know going into freshman year.

But the one and only person you truly wanted to see never came by, or even called. That really surprised you with how adamant Adrian was about doing something with you before you left. Neither of you had cell phones at the time so you couldn’t call Adrian directly. And you absolutely hated calling the house when Gut could potentially answer. He always gave you so much shit about calling his brother. That was why Adrian always called you instead ninety percent of the time. He knew how his older brother treated you and made you feel.

The move itself wasn’t without its issues, but nothing outside of what you would expect while dealing with a moving company. It took a bit to get settled and situated, but as soon as you were able, you called Adrian to give him your new number.

Instead, you got Gut.

After listening to him talk about how lame you are to still be calling his brother now that you were out of state, you asked him to pass along your new phone number to Adrian. Gut told you he would. Or, rather, said, “yeah, sure,” then hung up on you.

You never heard from Adrian though.

You kept trying to call. Either nobody was home or Gut answered and you left a message with him again. You weren’t going to give up, but then a few months later, the phone number had been disconnected. A couple of weeks after that, the number had been reissued to a different household. That really puzzled you, and worried you a little, but at that point, were out of options. You gave up trying to reach him.

You thought of Adrian frequently the first couple years before life carried you and your thoughts far away. After high school, you took your dad’s advice and avoided the military altogether. However, an old friend of his convinced you both that a career in higher law enforcement, such as the FBI or NSA, would be a good fit for you. He said you had that sort of analytical mind both agencies looked for in candidates, plus enough tenacity you wouldn’t be eaten alive. He had contacts in both organizations and would be able to at least get you considered for any position you might want. You went through your first four years of college with that career path in mind.

The reunion caught you the summer after you finished your bachelors, just before starting your masters. In the end, that’s what made you decide to go to the reunion. This would be your last chance to get away for a while if all went according to plan.

And your dad was right. You might get to see Adrian again. That thought alone excited you. It may have been seven years, but you still remembered your crush. Hell, you still had it. There was a big What If in your mind when it came to Adrian and that had kept your feelings alive all these years.

But, on the other hand, Adrian didn’t exactly have the best high school experience. To be honest, you weren’t sure if he would even want to go. It was a big chance you were taking hoping to see him there, but one you wanted to take. In nothing else, you’d see your old friends again.

The reunion was organized as a summer barbecue at a pavilion in one of the bigger parks. They even had a bouncy castle for the kids. And the adults too when the kids weren’t in there. It was fun, but sometime after the three-hour mark, you and two of your old friends decided to blow it off and head out to a bar for drinks. You figured if Adrian was going to come out, he would’ve already been there by then.

However, not even five minutes after you left with your friends, Adrian finally arrived. And was not happy about getting there so late.

Initially, he wasn’t going to go to the five-year reunion. Or any of the reunions at all, for that matter. He hated school, and high school was horrible for him, especially those last two years. He had no desire to see anyone he went to school with except for one person and he highly doubted you would even know about it, much less go. You only went to high school there for your first two years, so you didn’t graduate with him like you should had.

Then, last night, Adrian got bored while on patrol, checked out the event on Facebook and nearly fell off of the fire escape he was on when he saw you were going.

Seven years ago, he didn’t find out you had to move early until he overheard his mom talking about it two days later. He had tried calling you the day before but had discovered the phone already disconnected and assumed the service was shut off early. But no, had to moved already. Something to do with your dad needing to take over his new position sooner than expected.

This news utterly crushed Adrian.

While logically he knew there had to be a good reason you hadn’t told him, or even tried to say goodbye, that irrational part of his brain whispered that Gut was right. You had forgotten about him already. Adrian kept reminding himself that you and your dad had a lot of packing to go still, so you had to be very stressed finding out you had to do it all in one night. That thought ended up confusing him more though because if you’d have told him, he could’ve helped.

Even though you had promised to call him with your new number as soon as you had one, you never did. Now that one really hurt. Neither of you had social media either, so he couldn’t even message you on anything. He thought about asking your friends, but always suspected they only tolerated him because of you. Adrian felt like he was completely cut off and, to his knowledge, had no way of getting ahold of you.

It wasn’t too long after you left that everything changed. And then, soon after that, he was left on his own and he started to hone his skills for a much higher calling.

Truth be told, Adrian didn’t have much time to think about you during the first couple of years that you were gone. It had been just one thing after another since then. Once things settled down some and he became established in his new routine, he occasionally found his thoughts drifting towards you while on patrol. But he never let those thoughts linger for too long. If he did, they would make him upset and far too sad.

In the weeks after you left, Adrian had realized you weren’t his best friend, like he had thought all along. Not even best friends could leave such an impact on someone the way you had impacted him. Your absence in his life made him realize you were actually his person and the one that got away.

And that was why once he knew you were going to the reunion, Adrian panicked. There was no way in hell he could pass up this chance to see you. But, with that short of notice, he couldn’t take a vacation day, and no one could switch shifts with him. Calling in again was likely to get him fired since he had done a lot of that in his early Vigilante days. So, he had no choice but to work his 11-7 shift. He arrived at the reunion at 7:28.

And of course, today was one of those days where everything had gone wrong. He had overslept and been late to work. People had called in, so he wasn’t even able to leave early like his manager had promised. Then, to top it all off, he was utterly filthy. Right before he clocked out, one of the new waitresses had crashed into him with a full tray of food. While he had changed and cleaned up as best he could in the bathroom at work, he still smelled like a blend of marinara sauce, olive oil and vinegar, and souring Alfredo sauce. Since Adrian hadn’t thought about bringing cologne with him, and wasn’t about waste more time going home to shower, this was the state he was stuck in.

As Adrian hopped out of his car and jogged towards the pavilion, he desperately hoped that you still loved Italian food.

#adrian chase #vigilante #adrian chase fluff #adrian chase fanfiction #adrian chase imagine #adrian chase x y/n #adrian chase x you #adrian chase x reader #vigilante fanfiction #vigilante imagine #vigilante fluff #vigilante x y/n #vigilante x you #vigilante x reader

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inkovert · 1 year

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Sharing a short excerpt I just wrote (and resisting the urge to stop and edit it instead of moving on). Scene between Cami and her best friend, Mira (or Amira, affectionately called 'Am' by Cami)

I set my sketchbook aside and leaned forward. “Am, really, it’s not that bad. I’m fine —“ “No,” she said, “you’re not. How could you possibly be fine? You lost the one person who meant everything to you. Your best friend. He should be here and he’s not and you’re not fine. And I hate that you won’t admit that to me. Or worse, to yourself.” I stared at her in disbelief. My lips trembled. “Why are you doing this?” “Because I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore.”

“Do what?” “Give up,” she said, simply. “Pretend like you’re fine while you cut yourself off from everyone and everything. Me included. It’s like you’re here, but you’re not here. And I’ve been trying not to push you because I can’t even begin to imagine how you get yourself out of bed in the mornings after everything you’ve gone through. But if it’s between pushing you and losing you forever to this…grief, then I don’t think I have a choice.” “Just because I prefer to keep my circle small doesn’t mean —“ “It’s more than that and you know it.” “Okay, I’ll go join a crotchet club. Make a few new friends. Will that make you happy?” “Be serious.” “Oh, I am being serious. I’ll go out, befriend a few people, share all my secrets and innermost feelings with them, wait a good four to five years for them to stab me in the back and throw me aside, then repeat.” I scoffed. “This isn’t kindergarten, Am. Making new friends isn’t going to fix me. There’s no point. If the people who are meant to love you unconditionally are the first ones to hurt you then what does that say about the seven billion other people on the planet who don’t give a shit about you?” I swallowed down my emotions. “I already have enough pain to last me a lifetime. I don’t need to invite anymore into my life.”

#MDE excerpts #wip: MDE #writeblr #creative writing #my writing #writing to help me decompress after a long day #and simultaneously trying to practice ignoring my inner editor :^)

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ssaalexblake · 1 year

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This week on STP. Soap Opera: Picard commences.

(imagine me staring an 100 yard stare)

Not even gonna go there. If I wanted to read this type of plot, I would go read it where it belongs... In a fanfic. Eh. I am withholding judgement for now under the technicality that assumptions are not canon and i’m not sure if i’m being generous to the writers for giving them the benefit of the doubt or if i’m grasping at the last few straws i have, but here we are.

Mostly, as somebody who isn’t even a tng lover i feel bad for what is apparently being done to beverly here like damn, really??

amanda plummer aced every second of screen time she had, kudos! Was legit threatening and nice visual references, also.

Michelle Hurd also has me by the Neck. Raffi’s been mistreated so bad. This never should have been a thing she was told to do for very valid reasons. Also, in a vaguely introspective way i’m like okay Section 31... The people working for it probably aren’t the kind of people all steeped in starfleet principles. Which is why Raffi can’t do it. She is too principled of a person.

Honestly thought the computer handler was threatening Raffi with that comment about another body. Was legit surprised she just managed to turn the screen off.

The convo with the ex annoyed me because like, from the character exploration they did with Raffi last season there are canonically a few good reasons her family aren’t in contact with her that are legitimately a ‘her problem’ kind of thing. This is not what happened here and i felt they unintentionally leant into some uncomfortable sexist notions when doing it. And they could easily have made that less infuriating by just leaning on last season’s work instead. But then again, from the ex’s clientele it looks like he’s not like... The Most Moral Dude Ever? Actually... going back to S1 and Raffi’s son being on hyper-futuristic-capitalism-neon-hell-planet does actually speak to certain implications i’d not thought of until this. So fine, sense was made, but this is one of those things that’s more annoying for being Mostly fine but needing tweaking imo than something just straight up annoying that i could just write off easily.

Anyway, Raffi’s problem is she is genuinely a very good person and can’t stand to watch this shit without trying to help or fix it. Which while noble, doesn’t negate all her issues, but it sucks to see her get kicked down for being the only one who cares. I feel so hard why she was so Furious with Picard in S1 now. This is a sucky story to watch but yeah yeah it works with the context of the rest of the show, which I can’t say necessarily about a lot of other things in nostalgia bait s3. Standing ovation for our last remaining new character standing. May you remain standing till the very end. Preferably with Seven.

riker: why are you avoiding this???

picard: avoiding what???

me with fingers in my ears: yeah, avoiding what????

i next to never agree with picard (I tolerate him mostly) but sometimes he has his moments and the denial was one of them.

anyway, i think we can conclude that Shaw’s issue (aside from being a snide little butthead) is that he’s not meant for command. Not even in an insulting way, but somebody who can’t own their own decisions (blaming seven for the orders He gave, no matter how clear she was about her own feelings or the situation was out of line bc He still gave the orders) and then goes on to look the happiest he is the whole episode when an admiral forcibly takes control of his ship probably is not suited for the big chair.

i feel very bad for laughing at the head thing.

#that picard one #picard spoilers #idk???? i hashed this out mostly to settle my own thoughts #usually works #did not here #some of this is just fanficesque #some of it is just not for me #which are which tho

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waglifeornolife · 5 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/waglifeornolife/735949019656978432/ugh-im-so-fucking-pissed-rn-highschool

Sorry that it is long <33

Okay so I thought I’d further justify my reasoning for trying to like get her back even further because I’ve done all my school work and I’m bored now. A bit of backstory(her and her boo are childhood friends and like they first went out for like a day in year seven and she has used this as the reason for most of the things she did with him and for him?

Okay let’s start off with the first crack in the glass all the way back in 2020.

I told her I had a crush on one of our guy friends and we would always discuss that and stuff. Long story short they went out until like nov/dec 2021. But I let it slide because I kinda just wanted to get through life at that point in time and also both him and her were my good friends back then.

Okay then let’s fast forward to like September 2021(IK timeline is a bit weird but they broke up quite a bit) and people were coming up to her asking if she liked this other boy who was like one of the “popular girls” boyfriend and she went no. SHE COULD HAVE LEFT IT AT “NO” but noooo she had to say liked someone else🙄🙄 who was also a “popular person” like wow well done. Also she’s like always been an attention whore. For example during all of this, she would always lock herself in the school toilet and fake cry and say she was cutting herself(the reason why I knew she was faking everything is because we all shared a pe changing room and like I’d like look over the bathroom stall to make sure she was okay and she would be fake sniffling). Like shes such an attention seeker ugh.

Anyways so let’s talk a bit about her boo.

They’ve known each other forever but like everyone and their mother would tell you that he is the worst creature to ever successfully sneak their way onto planet earth. And he is/was/is an awful person like he always slut shames people (including her) and like he’s been a bully like he bullied me but like I have too much on him now so he has to keep his mouth shut. And he made like a snap private story where he would always put a story after he’d masturbated and the private story only had girls on it. Um Yh hes like an awful person to other people as well but I could be here all day discussing him.

So back to her.

Let’s fast forward to middle/end of of 2022 she gets a crush on this girl in our school and they start chatting as friends. Turns out every secret she told that girl, she would tell the guy(okay I’m gonna give people code names now,the girl that I want to exposes code name is Benny,the girl she had a crush on is snake and lets call Benny’s boo boat) So Benny would tex snake but boat was tryna go out with snake and Benny at the same time so sane would tell boat what Benny said but boat and Benny were kinda texting flirting anyway.

So we all found out about what boat was doing so him and Benny didn’t text for a bit until like January this year (omg this is where it just started getting worse I still don’t know why she got with him or why so much fucking happened). So they started texting a lot more and we were all advising against it but she would always say “don’t you want me to be happy🥺” 🙄. So we just let it be(because they were a situationship and to be fair I kind of didn’t want to be friends with her at this point either because she’d already done soooooooo much in the past 3years I just couldn’t handle anymore). So in like July they met up at the park a few times and she gave him a handjob once or whatever and um idk what happened after that but her whole persona changed (you see ONE sock and you think you’re the fucking shit🙄) and she started acting exactly like him. She was taking cheap shots at everyone and she would tell us not to judge her for doing things and saying things but she would judge me and the rest of our friend group forgetting excited over things we were happy about (like Taylor swift or like getting grades or going out in a friend group) (OMG I FORGOT TO MENTION ON VALENTINES DAY WE WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO GO OUT TO DINNER TOGETHER AND WE BOOKED IT MONTHS IN ADVANCE AT THIS FANCY ASS PLACE AND SHE CANCELLED TO GO OUT WITH BOAT TO THE PAR FOR THIRTY MINUTES LIKE WHAT??). Anyways, like I was saying she completely changed and she didn’t really care about school and stuff anymore. And like her and boat when to the park again and she sucked him off this time (thing is she has this like whole thing where she makes it a big deal where she doesn’t want to do anything before marriage and she basically slutshamed people for doing things like that until she started doing them) but like after she sucked him off he was acting really weird like he was either acting super desperate over text or like constantly reminding her they weren’t actually together(he even said if she went to speak with him in school he’d laugh in her face) so I told her to stop seeing(for the billionth time) and to just swear off boys until exams are over but she just super angry at me and started yelling at me saying how I would never understand what they have and how it’s like (like I can’t understand a toxic situationship). And like she did end up “breaking up with him” but I new she was lying and she was because she told me they’d been texting that whole day and that she can’t let him go and that she loves him (I seriously wanted to laugh). But like I was vomiting and stuff one day so I couldn’t come in and I see a text in the gc telling Benny to “be safe later” and I was asking why she had to “be safe” and she said she was meeting boat at the park. And I had had enough at that point so I didn’t say anything until her boo was like sending rude things in the gc directed towards me and was saying Offenes or shit. So I confronted her about and she said “he didn’t know it would hurt you” and bullshit like that. She even confessed to writing some of the things. So I stopped being friends with her at that point but still had to hang out with her because my friends are(were now) her friends(they opened their eyes).

So she broke up with him (fr this time but I still call him her boo because she was just soo persistent on keeping him). But I found out like a few weeks ago that boat was actually texting another girl at the time that Benny and him were together but when I told her she already and was telling POPULAR GIRLS IN OUR YEAR EVERYTHING SHE WENT THROUGH BUT WITH LEAVING OUT DETAILS ABOUT HOW MUCJ HER EX FRIENDS WARNED HER TO NOT GO. Omg she had the never to come up to me to tell me that they told her the exact same things I told her and she listened to them. So like my friends (the ones that were neutral through this whole thing) were like discussing it too and we’re also like “Yh this is a bit rude” because they warned her too and she’s acting like they didn’t.

Extra reasons:

1)she’s a privileged little bitch who is super rude to her mother

2)she talks shit about everyone and has parasocial relationships with them and acts like she knows them

3) she literally said billions of times that she’s not straight but now she all of a sudden she is (because boys don’t really find it desirable if a girl is anymore) she also says that the girl she like is an exception and she only has wet dreams and fantasies about her and other girls but god forbid she ever got near one

3) whenever I’d try and bring up a serious matter that’s like happening in the world she would tell me that not everything is about race/politics

4)she gets “boycott fatigue” (I think that explains itself)

5)she always gossips like there will be no consequences

6)she’s a manipulative bitch

7)she’s super condescending

8)when she first gave head,she tried to pressure everyone else in our group to but nine of did. She knew I had this crush in some guy so when she got the chance she got someone to start spreading rumours around about that

9)she hates when people have friends that are outside the friend group that she doesn’t know

10) she’s made me lose loads of friends by playing victim in every scenario

11) she printed out a fake marriage certificate and tried to get our friend who’s a boy to sign it and she got pissed when he didn’t

12) she hyper sexualises boys in our year group and says all crazy things

13) she rats out people’s secrets for a little bit of popularity and attention

14)she openly makes fun of people for what they eat and wear

15)she’s just not the type of person people should have to deal with

babe, she sounds to toxic!! the ex too, i kinda feel bad for her when it comes to that but my god, i’m so glad you aren’t friends with her any more! it sounds to me that whatever you say to people, she’s gonna twist it and play the victim, so maybe confront her about everything you’ve told me first, make sure your friends are aware of what you’re doing and make sure they’re there, so that they can back you up, but make sure that the girl is on her own when you talk to her so that she doesn’t have an alibi to back up whatever she’d twist it into.

the girl sounds like a right bully, i had a girl similar at my school growing up, she was so nasty to everyone until a few of us eventually stuck up for ourselves and she realised that the person she’s trying to be isn’t a person that people like. bitchiness like that has no age limit so stamping it out now will be the best thing you can do 🫶🏼

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josiebelladonna · 10 months

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so.

we braved it through the heat wave out here and we saw the Barbie movie on early release day because of the matinee (and on my dime because i inexplicably have money).

first things first. i admit it, i’m going to be biased because neither of us had any desire to see it; in fact, i was turned off from it almost immediately just from the marketing alone. don’t get me wrong, either, there have been girlish things in the past that i do like (and i’m the least girly girl i know), but as i said, it reminded me of that episode of portlandia where the feminist bookstore gets bought out and basically turns it into one big corporate joke slathered in pink paint. that’s exactly what this movie reminded me of, except it’s executed in real life.

i’m just saying this now because i've been carefully avoiding the movie tags the last week, with people acting like heaven and earth had to be moved in order for the barbie movie to be made while utterly slating oppenheimer (and acting like the mission impossible movie doesn’t exist, like wtf). in fact, this is why i actually kept my distance from social channels because i just knew it was going to be bad. bad vibes in the color of pantone 219.

but i left my bias at the door and i went into the theater with an open mind. you never know. i could be wrong and everyone who’s been giving it glowing reviews have been sincere this whole time…

first off, the elephant in the room. the soundtrack.

there are actually a couple of bangers on this, like the fifty fifty song and the dua lipa one; the song from ice spice was a lot better than i thought it would be, like that actually surprised me. i like her, man, she’s cool. but for the most part, this soundtrack just swings and misses. shit, the bob’s burgers soundtrack stuck out more to me and that was done solely by everyone on the cast.

i have no idea why you would have royal pain in the ass billie eilish on the soundtrack other than to play favorites and inflate her already-planet sized ego even more because heaven for-fucking-bid anyone has a negative opinion of her, and- you know, now that i write this out, it does make sense to have her on it. this movie in a way is like her: painfully overhyped to the point that thinking about who’s hyping it makes you feel sick after a while and what substance there is you wish for more of. and, no, i fucking hated that song: there’s a reason why i dropped my oppenheimer drawings at the same time as when she dropped that one, all the way down to the minute, because i just know it’s beginning of the end for her.

yes, i don’t like her anymore but… i kind of feel bad for her, though. started out as this little teen girl with the unusual hair and the tomboyish wardrobe who sang these dark songs that i found solace in back in 2019, and look at her now. she’s being sexualized like the dickens (and apparently when she didn’t want that, either? there’s an interview from 2016 where she explicitly says that she wants us to focus on her music and not her. yeah, she was like 14/15 at the time but you could still carry that narrative as you become an adult and ease into it) and her ego has gotten so big the last couple of years that she’s utterly insufferable now. she’s a loser, you guys. ”but she’s so sincere! so honest!” no, she’s not???? she has quite literally changed her narrative so many times the last seven years, i have no clue if she’s telling the truth or not. really, ask anyone who’s followed her since 2015. REAL survivors tell their story and they stick to it.

i’m tired of her name, i’m tired of seeing her, i’m tired of people left and right kissing her ass when there really is no good viable reason to… I’M JUST TIRED OF HER! and this movie killed it, this movie was the last straw for me. i wish she would just go away already. just… let it die. let the billie eilish mania die already.

and i guess wolf van halen and slash did some solo work on the soundtrack but they weren’t credited for some reason? i recognized them immediately, and i seriously wanted more of them.

it’s like when you have a pizza and the whole thing is covered in pineapple save for this one little sliver. the rest of it is practically inedible but you look at that one piece and think, “eh, it was alright just to spite itself.”

the set design gave me the same feeling as illumination’s movies - they make the despicable me and minions movies; their movies are notoriously cheap to make because they reuse the same assets over and over again. because of this constant reuse, their movies become boring and bland after a while. add to this, when you write the movie around a few different locations, and the color scheme barely changes to boot, you get the same effect. this is not a bash on the color pink, by the way, so save your fucking comments, but to see the color pink (often fused with neon colors, too) in every corner, every crevice, every ass crack, and every single inch of screen time that isn’t the real world… it got so tiresome after just a short time. in fact, that was a big complaint with me when the commercials for it started to roll in was “that color scheme is painful to look at.” it wears on your nerves really quick, too, especially if you’re obsessed with balance like i am. it’s like, my god, can we at least have some darker tones in here to level the playing field? this is complete sensory overload. you understand the intent completely, but it’s so… it’s too much. it becomes harsh and even suffocating after the first twenty or so minutes. we left after the first… i don’t know, 50 minutes? because i had a splitting headache (it went away almost immediately, too, oddly enough). the only good part of the set was the san jacinto mountains in the background, i could tell that was the real deal. but that was pretty much it (again, the pineapple on pizza analogy).

helen mirren as the narrator felt out of place, imo. narrators have to work in a very specific context and even then, like what we’ve seen with the minions movies, it can be abused and used as a crutch. i don’t know why you would need someone to point out this shit when you could see it for yourself. it’s called “motion pictures” for a reason, and there’s a way to work in exposition without it feeling like a cannonball to the face.

there was one review from about a week ago - i’ll never forget it either mainly because i had to look it up and i was met with the login box from twitter - but it said the story is the weak part and... yes. yes, it is. first off, i went to look up the synopsis and the first thing that ran through my mind was “wreck-it ralph”, and also the lego movie. barbie and ken leave barbieland for the human world in a similar way that ralph and vanellope trekked through different video game worlds, or how the gang in the lego movie travelled through different lego settings. except, instead of being this colorful fun delicious adventure where everyone grows and changes through actions and the two leads learn to love each other and value each other by the end, they come back for an existential crisis and- i’m sorry, it doesn’t work. it felt really… the only word that comes to mind is “clunky”. it felt very clunky and cumbersome, like it’s trying to be everything and say everything all at once. i mean, the story is the backbone, the heart and soul of a movie, and when it’s barely there, or sputters out in the second act and the whole thing actually lives and dies on the work of fucking speeches (that i already saw like word for word in tumblr posts about 9-10 years ago) rather than adventures, it feels pointless. i want to watch a story unfold. tell me a tall tale. show me something new.

and my nickname for it “the big pink brick” was earned. it felt like this giant brick kept hitting me over the head with its messages and it got uncomfortable and not in the way that great art makes you uncomfortable: no, i mean it was unpleasant. misandrist, too. yes, this movie is misandry in every sense of the word. there’s smashing the patriarchy and then there’s treating men as if they’re useless meat sacks. maybe i’m just someone who likes to be entertained and not preached to when she goes to the movies: it’s why i could never get into rom-coms (and my mom is the same way, too) because… what’s entertaining about this? about a story you’ve seen a million times already just drowned in pink paint and with tropes from 10-year-old (GREAT) animated movies thrown in to make it a little more interesting? plus, it’s why i find movies that attempt to be philosophical a rather mixed bag of sorts.

you can be dark and intellectual. you can be serious. you can be a feminist and stand up to the patriarchy and not be a complete asshole to men and make our gender look bad in the process. zootopia did this back in 2016, so why not carry the trend onwards? you can be all those things and still have it be genuinely fun and surreal and cartoonish. don bluth and all the cartoons from the 90s and the 2000s mastered that, why can’t other directors do it? it felt very lopsided towards barbie and ken. kind of the point, yes, but... i wanted to know more about these other people, though, like what’s going on with them. you can’t have two characters exist in a vacuum when it obviously isn’t.

there are also parts where - i’m gonna get shit for this, too, so i’m bracing myself - it reminded me of the emoji movie. “do you guys ever think about dying?” that sounds like a rejected line from the emoji movie and i can’t be the only one who thinks this, either. really, i hate to be “that person” but i kind of knew how it was going to play out just by watching the trailer. it’s a very loud movie, too, no one talks in a normal voice. it often felt like i was being yelled at.

and i really didn’t find any of it funny: i think i chuckled all of twice, but never “laugh out loud” like i do when i watch the holy grail or any of mel brooks’ movies.

there’s genuinely nothing sadder than comedy that fails to make you laugh.

”it’s supposed to be ham-fisted!” listen, if someone has to say this, that’s a bad sign. that’s a sign of literacy having fallen right off a cliff. it’s like when i saw nope last summer and people were bitching about how it’s “hard to follow” and the arc with the monkey felt unnecessary (when it absolutely was!)

it’s a sign of people wanting movies literally to be nothing more than just a bunch of colors fused with lines that sounded like they came out of 2013-2014 tumblr written at 1 in the morning filtered through volume settings meant for dodger stadium.

rather than be challenged or introduced to something new, you, the audience this movie was made for as well as tumblr in 2023, just want your asses kissed, so you ironically get this echo chamber thing going and true intellect goes right out the window. “tumblr doesn’t have an echo chamber effect going, though” IT MOST CERTAINLY DOES! how many people on here feel like they’re just yelling into a void, like no one cares what they have to say? far too many, myself being one of them! you people don’t want anything to nudge you out of your comfort zone and instead cater to your every whim, and it’s so insulting.

everyone on the cast had this look in their eyes like they were just dying inside, and i have no clue if that was intentional, either. but there were times i could tell margot was really trying her best, but she looked like she was phoning it in (weird to think amy schumer was considered for the role, too). even dua lipa looked miserable. will ferrell of all people looked miserable, too, which was shocking to me.

really, the only person who seemed to be having a good time with it all was ryan gosling. i’m not even a fan of the guy, but just like with the last two tom cruise movies, i have to hand it to him. he was actually great. he was fun to watch. did i think it was “oscar-worthy” like what everyone on the internet says? not really—the internet is rather hit and miss in terms of taste, so of course i took it with a grain of salt. but i give him my kudos, though.

but after the big pink brick, you yearn for true intellectualism again, and not in the slathered in pink shoved-right-in-your-face-without-any-rhyme-or-reason-other-than-because-women type fashion, because that really isn’t. another interesting thing to note? oppenheimer is three hours, (no way we could do the double header, too hot out and my mom wants to treat me to that instead) but i bet you money you won’t even notice it. you’re just so engrossed in the story of the man and how the bomb came to be that you genuinely don’t even think about the time. barbie is… what, an hour and a half? hour-forty? i kept checking my watch every few minutes and we didn’t even make it to the end. how do you make 90-100 minutes feel like 90-100 hours, i’ll never know. i was thinking this when threads was launched, “how the fuck can you people here on tumblr just turn up your noses at this when you aren’t even going to give it a chance, which oh, by the way, is the very definition of prejudice?”: the barbie movie is the best example of what’s known as “brainrot”. bright obnoxious unflattering colors, feminism so warped that even despite being from women it feels like everyone’s just cheering on the winner and bashing all the kens of the world, and morals that incessantly hit you over the head and you get nothing out of it and you learn nothing and the hype is really just that: hype. tumblr in the 2020s deserves this movie, and it serves all of us right for letting it happen.

i saw the reviews on rotten tomatoes last night, and the positive ones all feel ai-generated, no doubt about that. the negative ones meanwhile, felt more human and confirmed my suspicions about it. in fact, i saw a couple of female critics say that there’s an air of defensiveness to it and… yeah, there is.

it’s the exact same vibe i get from fanfic communities now: this whole thing of “if you got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” said in the most belligerent tone ever and god damn it, NO ONE WANTS THAT. NO ONE likes that. you hear about women complaining about men being aggressive: take this from a woman, it works the other way, too. i avoid so many things now not because i DoN’t HaVe AnYtHiNg NiCe To SaY, but because it’s unpleasant. someone who’s lgtbq was turned off by barbie like how she’s turned off by fic communities and most of the internet because it all comes off as mean-spirited. you see the intent but it’s completely lost in translation and it winds up not feeling like a movie. oppenheimer, for all its dead weight heavier than uranium, is by far a more pleasant experience and the manhattan project was primarily men (to all of you bitching about that).

i saw something earlier before we left saying, “men who refuse to see the barbie movie are trash.”

…you know. as a woman. i resent the fact that i had to see that sentiment. because, ahem. after women fought for decades, how we were like “hands off our bodies” and “don’t touch us unless we say so”, there��s this narrative here that basically covertly tells men what to do. if you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know i hate hypocrisy. and forcing men to see this fucking movie lest they get labeled as misogynistic or homophobic- you hypocrites. really, if you condone that… don’t you DARE call yourself a feminist

EVER AGAIN.

barbie is not about female empowerment, and the discourse surrounding it is not about misogyny. the issue is every single one of you taking it way too seriously. if it was truly a fun movie, à la the lego movie or wreck-it ralph, i guarantee i probably would have loved it even with the hideous color scheme and lame soundtrack. but it’s not. it’s not fun at all. it’s basing a movie off a toy meant for little girls that was studied and recorded as anti-feminist (given the rampant body image issues we have, for starters) and backtracking on itself for decades in hopes to fix itself, and every single one of you screamed “FEMINIST!!!” because the echo chamber caught up to you.

feel free to complain in the comments, i got shit to do✌🏻

#barbie #barbie 2023 #barbenheimer #oppenbarbie #reviews #opinion #text

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mandos-sluts · 3 years

Text

The Visit

This is Part One of a three-part series

The Visit Part Two

The Visit Part Three

The Mandolorian x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: Smut, dubious consent, fingering, dirty talk, mentions of sex work

Summary: You are Luke Skywalker’s Padawan, training directly under him at his Jedi Academy. Din Djarin is staying at the compound for a few days to visit Grogu.

A/N: Please message us or comment if you want to be on our tag list!! Also we love feedback <3

“What does he look like?”

“He’s a Mandalorian. Big silver shiny armor. Can’t miss him.”

*************************************

Boy was he right. You spot Din as soon as you step into the cantina. He’s standing at the bar, leaning over it slightly. His visor catches your eye from across the room, and he stares at you for a while, looking you up and down, before turning his head back to the bar. He’s never seen someone so beautiful in this parsec before.

Your Master, Luke Skywalker, told you to meet Din at the cantina and escort him to the Jedi Academy. Luke had similarly informed Din that he was sending his Padawan to rendezvous.

You know all about Din Djarin. You know his whole deal with Grogu and the Darksaber, and his run-ins with the Empire and the Guild. The story of his miraculous rescue of Grogu made its way around the school after Luke brought the child back to the Academy.

The cantina that you’re at is located in the town that lies right outside the Jedi Academy compound. It’s a place that many students go to blow off steam and hang out.

You find yourself surprisingly nervous as you walk up to the tall intimating Mandalorian. “Excuse me.” You say.

“Not interested.” He says shortly without even looking at you.

”What?” You asked, confused.

“I said I’m not interested.”

“Not interested in what?”

”Your services.”

”My services?” You don’t understand. Is he wanting to travel to the grounds by himself? That’s not an option....he wouldn’t be permitted on the estate without an escort. Didn’t Luke tell him of this arrangement?

Din exhales, clearly annoyed, and finally turns to look at you. “Do I need to spell it out for you? I’m not looking for a whore.”

You stand there, completely dumbfounded, your mouth slightly open from shock. A whore? What the fuck?!!

In his defense, you are wearing a rather skimpy-looking outfit. You have on what is essentially a tennis skirt and a bandeau; it’s the hot season on the planet. Even so, this guy is an asshole.

You take a breath and put a fake smile on your face. “My apologies….Din Djarin.” You say in a suggestive manner. Turning around to leave, Din whips around and grabs your upper arm tightly, yanking you closer to him.

“How do you know that name?” Din loudly whispers in a demanding, low voice.

You’re not stupid, you know that his name is known only by a few. “My industry has very skilled people.” You respond, hoping he will get the hint that you are in fact not a sex worker, but actually the person he’s supposed be meeting.

”Are you telling me your brothel somehow got a hold of my name?” Din is pretty pissed. Is this what he gets from doing dealings with Jedi? His name gets leaked to brothels?

You let out a sigh as your eyes roll. You snatch your arm out of his grasp and move swiftly out the door into the street. What a jerk. This guy can find his own way to the compound.

Din tries to follow you, needing to know how a random whore got his name, but the streets are pretty crowded.

”Oh, Mr. Djarin!” Din hears someone say. He looks over his shoulder and sees Luke Skywalker approaching him.

“H-hi, Master Skywalker.” Din says, deciding to give up on his pursuit of you, after all, that’s not the reason he’s here.

“I’m surprised to see you here, did my Padawan not pick you up?” Luke asks.

“No. He never showed.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry about that. Let me take you to the Jedi Temple.”

************************************* You hear your Master’s voice and footsteps nearing the empty lounge you’re sitting in. It’s a pretty big, dark lit room. There’s a conference table on one end, and an arrangement of couches and chairs spread across the place. It’s always empty, and you often use the area to meditate or exercise or just hang out. You pretend to look busy, eager for what’s about to occur.

“It is strange that my Padawan did not show up to greet you.” You hear Luke say behind the wall. He pokes his head around the door. “Ah, here she is.” He says walking into the lounge.

She? Din walks a few feet behind Luke. He turns the corner and walks through the door, freezing in his footsteps as soon as he lays eyes on you. There you are, the woman who approached him at the cantina….Luke’s Padawan.

You stare into his visor with a smug half smile on your face and slowly rise from your seat. You’re reveling in how taken aback he clearly is.

“Y/n, this is Din Djarin. I thought we discussed that you’d meet him at the cantina and escort him to the Academy? He says you didn’t show.” Luke says innocently as he stands between you and Din.

“Oh. I did go to the cantina. I guess I missed you.” You say slowly with your eyes locked on his helmet. “My apologies, Din Djarin.”

Din clears his throat. “Um n-no worries at all.” He chokes out. Shit! Din can’t believe he called you a whore. How did he not see the laser sword on your hip?

“Alright, well I’m gonna get to my meeting. Y/n, show Din around, alright?” Luke says.

“Of course Master.” You say with a slight bow of your head. You plant your gaze back on Din’s helmet as it rotates to watch Luke exit.

He slowly turns his look back to you, staring at him confidently with your hands on your hips.

“I’m sorry.” He says flatly through his modulator.

“For being such an asshole?” You say tilting your head.

“Yes. And assuming you were a prostitute.”

“There’s nothing wrong with sex workers. I’m not offended that you mistook me for one.” You say. But….why does it kind of turn you on that he thought you were a whore? Ugh and why does it turn you on that he is such a jerk??

There’s an awkward pause as you both stand there examining each other.

“So, you’re also a…Pawa-don?” Din asks, trying to fill the quiet. He has never been uncomfortable with silence before, in fact, he more often than not preferred it. But right now for some reason he feels different.

“Padawan.” You correct him. “And yes.”

“So are you doing the same training as the kid?” He further probes.

“Kind of. Grogu is more in the elementary stages of training. His focus is mainly on developing and fine-tuning his sensation with the Force. Most of my training nowadays centers around my lightsaber mastery and combat.” You inform him.

“Hm. Wonder when you’ll be good enough to battle me.” Din says casually as he takes a breath.

“What?” You ask.

“I said I wonder when you’ll be good enough in combat to put up a fight against me.”

Is he serious? Is he trying to provoke you? Even after the predicament he just found himself in with you? “Ha….um….I was good enough to fight you years ago.” You declare

Din looks at you for a moment. “I’m a Mandalorian.” He says simply.

“.....”

“The Mandalorian who wields the Darksaber. So you’re either overestimating your own ability or underestimating mine.”

You take a deep breath and take a step closer to him. “I know most people think that Mandalorians are the greatest warriors in the galaxy, but that’s because they don’t know of the Jedi Order. My connection with the force gives me strength that you will never know, that you will never be able to comprehend.”

Din takes a step closer to you. “That may be, but I have decades of combat experience that is simply unmatched by you, not to mention the most imperishable armour in the galaxy.”

“So what I’m hearing is that you would like to duel.” You say as you remove your saber from its holster and activate its blade. It’s a light lavender color, thin and sleek.

“That’s cute.” Din says. “Just a reminder, little girl. You were given that light saber. I won mine in battle.” He proclaims as he detaches his saber from his belt. *see gif*

“I made it. But fair point. Now enough talk, Mandalorian, are you ready to duel or what?” You say as you get into a battle stance.

Din holds his hand out. “If, by some miracle, you do happen to overpower me, don’t touch the saber. Bo-Katan is already mad enough that I have it, I can’t imagine what she’d do if a non-Mandalorian gets their hands on it again.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m well aware of the bizarre way that the ruler of Mandalore is chosen.”

“Alright then, princess, I won’t hold back.”

You feel heat rush through your core at those words. Princess. He won’t hold back. Uggh... focus! This guy has been demeaning you since the moment you met him, show him how powerful you are!

*************************************

You and Din battle for a good seven minutes, the two of you are pretty evenly matched, neither one of you gains the upper hand for very long. Just as you’re feeling your strength falter, you’re able to knock his saber out of his hands, and you push him onto the ground. Din tries to get up and reach for his saber but you plant yourself on top of him, straddling him. He looks up at you in defeat.

He takes a deep breath as you stare down at him. That’s when you notice the tent in his pants. You’re sitting on his legs so that his bulge is right above your crotch.

Adrenaline is pumping through your veins from your victory and a smile stretches across your face. “I have another quality that puts me at an advantage that I forgot to mention: your attraction to me and your primal desire to fuck me.” You say as you slowly place your hand on top of his clothed erection. You lean down and bring your face close to his helmet. “I bet your face is just bright red underneath this helmet of yours. Not only did you lose the battle, but your urges got the best of you.” You say in a condescending tone.

Din stares up at you, his chest moving up and down as he breathes.

“That’s where you and I differ.” You say. “A real warrior has self-control and self-restraint.”

Din moves his hands to your thighs and runs them up to your hips. “Who said I was trying to restrain myself?” He says in a raspy voice.

You’re a little caught off guard. You were teasing him, and this was not the reaction you were expecting. You thought he’d be embarrassed, you thought he’d want to get out of this situation as soon as possible.

“Face it.” You say after a pause. “You can’t repress your arousal, and your lack of self-control is a disadvantage to you.”

Din’s hands are still on your hips, and he pulls you up his body ever so slightly. “So since you have such great self-control, your panties wouldn’t happen to be wet right now, would they?” He inquires in a low, sultry voice.

You’re taken aback at his shameless words. “O-of course not.” You stutter as your confidence recedes.

“Let me see.” He demands flatly.

“What?” Did you hear him right? Your heart beat is pounding, you can’t tell if he’s joking around with you or not like you were doing with him.

“I said let me see.” Din says moving his gloved hands to the bottom of your skirt. “C’mon, pull this short little skirt up just a tad more and show me that your panties are dry.”

“N-no I–”

“Fine.” Din cuts you off. “I’ll do it myself.” He says as he removes one of his gloves. He then moves his bare hand under your skirt up to your pussy, easily pushing the thin panties you're wearing aside and planting two fingers inside your sopping wet folds.

You jerk at the contact of his soft skin on your sensitive pussy. “Din!” You exclaim. You grab his hand, but don’t move it.

Din chuckles. “Looks like you don’t have as much self-discipline as you claim.” He brings his other hand and cups your cheek. “Awwww, your face is just bright red right now.” Din mocks.

“W-whatever, you still lost.” You say out as you’re overcome with humiliation.

“Mmmmm. Congratulations.” Din says lazily as he removes his hand from your cunt and grabs your hips once again. “So, y/n. You showed me how Jedi fight. Let me show you how Mandalorians fuck.” He says as he pulls your hips and grinds you against his bulge.

Your panties are still pulled aside and the friction of his clothed erection against your clit makes you whimper.

“You– you wanna fuck me?” You ask hesitantly.

“Ha. Of course I wanna fuck you. Look at you.” He says as he lifts you off of him to stand up. Standing tall, he towers over you and brings his non-gloved hand to your chin, pulling it up gently to meet his gaze.

The unexpected and prompt shift in the power dynamic has you all turned around. Just moments ago, your confidence was through the roof. You were giddy claiming your victory against him, making fun of him for getting a boner during a duel. But the tone between the two of you has completely changed. He has you weak and timid, he’s looking down at your wide doe eyes as if you’re his prey.

“Come on, little Padawan. Practicing self-control is great, but let me show you what it’s like to lose all control over yourself.” Mando says as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. “Cuz I would just love to tie you up and have my way with you.” He mutters. Dins hands slide down to your butt as he gropes your flesh, pulling you flat against him. “Let down your guard for just a moment and let me show you how rewarding it can be.” Din slips his bare hand back under your skirt to find your cunt even wetter than before. You let out a whimper and bat your eyes at him.

He starts slowly circling your clit, and moves his other hand up to caress your cheek softly. “Come on.” He whispers in your ear. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

High-pitched breaths are escaping your lips as he gently runs his thumb up and down your cheek bone.

“Can– can you not–” you breathe, sliding your hands up his chest.

“What. What is it?”

You pause for a moment. “Can you not be so gentle with me?” You say with slight embarrassment.

Din scoffs, “Oh baby girl, you’re gonna regret saying that.” He says as he grabs a fist full of your hair and roughly pulls your head back, exposing your delicate neck to him.

This harsh action sends shocks to your pussy. “Didn’t you say something about tying me up?” You purr with a slight smile, looking up into his visor.

“So I was right about you being a filthy fuckin whore.” Din spits as he shoves a finger inside of you, his thumb rubbing against your clit.

“Y-yeah, but only for you.” You whine as your eyes fall closed and high-pitched moans begin escaping your lips.

“Ohh that’s right baby.” Din praises. He’s so turned on by the way you’re speaking and responding to his touch, and he loves the impact he has on you. How you so quickly went from a confident fighter when he lost to you, to a shy little girl when he started teasing you, to a dirty slut once he got his hands in your panties.

He starts pumping his finger faster and you can hear the lewd noises your obscenely wet pussy is making. Your mouth opens even more with your moans becoming more pronounced and your back arches. You’re standing pressed flat up against him, he’s basically holding you up on your toes with one arm as his other hand drives into your cunt.

You can feel your orgasm just beginning to climb when you suddenly hear a beep on your watch’s intercom. It jolts you back to reality.

“Y/n, are you at the lounge? I’m heading back there now.” Your Master says through the intercom.

“Shit.” You say as you push Din’s chest, pulling yourself off of him. “I should have shown you to your accommodation by now.” You say as you frantically start looking around your feet for your saber. By the time you grab it and look up for Din, he has already made his way out the back exit.

You attach your saber to your hip as you try to steady your breathing, disoriented from the abrupt conclusion of whatever it was you were doing with Din. You hear Luke’s footsteps approaching as you quickly try to put your panties back in place, growling at how soaked they are. You’re praying that your Master doesn’t notice the wetness that has been smudged on your inner thighs.

*************************************

You cannot believe what you did with Din. No one has ever done anything like that to you before. You get hit on all the time— you’re gorgeous— but you are almost never interested enough to give them the time of day. But Din? He had his fingers in your pussy after knowing you for ten minutes. How did he do that!?

It’s the early evening. You lie in your bed visualizing the events over and over again, heat pooling in your core as you replay the dirty things he said to you.

While it fuels your arousal, you also feel uneasy about the interaction. He left so quickly, and he left without saying a word to you, almost like nothing had happened. You hope that Din doesn’t think less of you, that he doesn’t think you’re some hussy who is easily persuaded into letting guys she just met finger fuck her.

You are pulled away from your anxious thoughts when you hear your intercom going off. It’s your friends talking about what they’re doing tonight. You don’t really care to pay attention, but you sit straight up in your bed when you hear something about that “Mandalorian who’s visiting the Academy,” and how he’s “at the cantina in town.”

You jump out of bed and without even thinking, you grab a sweater and head toward the parlor.

Your heart is beating on the chilly walk there. You hope he’s surprised to see you, you hope he’s excited to see you. You’re gonna act casual, yeah, like you didn’t even know he was there. No big deal! You’re just going to the cantina to hang with your friends. And then you see eachother, and bing bang boom, you guys are back in your room fucking while he calls you his little slut. Yes. This is gonna go great.

It’s a Friday night and the cantina is bustling. People are dancing, drinking, and gambling. It’s so loud that you can barely hear yourself think. As you make your way through the rowdy crowd, you spot Din’s helmet over the hordes of people. He is sitting in a somewhat secluded booth in the corner of the restaurant.

You proceed a few steps forward, lightly pushing people to get through the crowd, and then, your heart drops. He’s not sitting alone. There’s a girl, a woman, a sex worker, wrapped in his arm.

You stand there for a moment as everything goes quiet, you stare at Din and the beautiful woman in a tight short dress sitting beside him. She’s talking to him, saying things into the side of his helmet as he sits there looking forward with his arm casually draped around her, man spreading and all.

Din’s head turns and that’s when he notices you, standing there among the crowd of people in that same short high waisted skirt and a cropped sweater of the same color.

You feel something fall deep in your chest as you realize that he sees you. You blink a few times as the rest of your senses come back, humiliation and embarrassment overcoming you as you quickly turn around and stumble out of the bar.

You make your way into the dark street and take a few deep breaths before running back to the Academy. You're fighting off tears as you feel the cold air pinching every bit of your exposed skin.

You can’t believe that you let yourself become smitten by someone who was such an asshole. He mistook you for a whore, he insulted your combat skills, he pressed you to let him fuck you! You should have expected this.

A tear rolls down your cheek. Why did you think he liked you? He didn’t. He didn’t like you. And he didn’t want to fuck you, he just wanted to fuck someone, and you were the closest one to him. You let him use you. He must do this kind of shit all the time with women, you were nothing special.

You get back to your room and bury yourself under your covers, wanting to escape so badly from this reality.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Visit Part Two

The Visit Part Three

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Masterlist

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Taglist:

@pinkninja200 @raspberrymama @stevie75 @tacticalsparkles @kenoobiwan @shark-s @theamuz @blackrose8425 @beskarboobs @beskarboobs @smutslutz @princess-djarinn @spideysimpossiblegirl @riot-rotten

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