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kantrips · 3 years

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Alistair & Celia Headcanon Collection

Some Amell x Alistair (largely fluff) headcanons! Includes some from Origins, Warden time at Amaranthine and the Inquisition-era. Some of these I have had since my first playthrough, but others I may have read elsewhere, loved and thusly absorbed so please let me know if I can link anyone!

Origins

The first time they meet at Ostagar, Celia thinks Alistair is the most fascinating person she has ever encountered because no one in the Circle had a particularly boisterous sense of humour. Alistair is oblivious to her heart eyes, and also holds back because he’s worried she won’t survive the Joining.

Even after the Joining, Alistair tries very hard not to ~feel feelings~ despite the clear signals Celia is hurling at him because he assumes she won’t like him once she gets to know him more/she will get bored of him/ she will leave like everyone else i.e. the boy is hecking damaged.

Celia laughs obnoxiously hard at all Alistair’s jokes because a) she finds them unexpected, and b) because, like a dork, she wants to prove she gets the punch line. Alistair is perplexed by her reactions at first, and cautiously wonders if she is mocking him. Once he realises she is genuinely amused, it bolsters his ego significantly.

Celia has no concept of personal space and sits and walks very close to everyone. There wasn’t a lot of room at the Circle so she forgets she can spread out. Morrigan makes it clear she needs to back off (Celia doesn’t need telling twice) but Alistair is more relaxed and gets used to it quickly after the confusion of the first night when she blithely sets up her bedroll right next to his. Alistair assumes she is a bit scared of sleeping in the forest but really she is just accustomed to the need to cram as many apprentice bunks into a room as possible.

In a way, Alistair is also used to sharing small spaces (Chantry and Wardens) so it doesn’t bother him at all when Celia chooses to sit pressed against his side, walks so their arms bump together, or unconsciously brushes an eyelash from his cheek. He quickly grows to like her overfamiliarity (for some reason…).

Similarly, Alistair eats Celia’s leftover food if she can’t finish it or doesn’t like it, even before they’re a couple. She just offers one day and after that it becomes a given. The others side-eye them but they are happily oblivious.

Celia gets in trouble from the rest of the party for getting distracted yelling encouragement and cheering Alistair during combat. In turn, Alistair gets in trouble for turning around mid-battle to thank her when she buffs or heals him. Morrigan advises that if they are both so determined to get killed, she is more than happy to assist with hastening the process.

Celia’s mabari, Trevor, is quickly accepting of Alistair and his proximity to Celia because he observes Alistair protecting Celia in battle and thusly deems him to be a ‘good dog’ and considers that they are equals in the pack.

Alistair and Celia vandalise each other’s wanted posters whenever they come across them. It gets competitive.

Celia doesn’t really want to be in charge of saving the world but has three things working in her favour: 1) she absolutely hates letting people down 2) has an intense need to finish what she starts 3) she is in possession of a bossy streak.

That said she spends the entire Blight screaming internally to an extent not even Alistair fully grasps.

They go to the Circle Tower first, because Celia thinks she will have the best chance of getting help from people she knows and is also ‘homesick’ in the sense that she is very glad to be free of the place, but stressed enough with everything going on to crave something familiar even if she resents it. The events there devastate her. Along with the loss of friends and mentors she has known since childhood, being trapped by herself in the fade particularly terrifies her as she has never truly been alone for so long before in her life. It reminds her of the Harowing which totally blindsided her. She is very teary, untalkative and introspective for some time afterwards, but both Trevor and Alistair have the correct instinct to stay close without trying to interact with her which she finds incredibly comforting.

Accustomed to making potions, Celia will not under any circumstances deviate from a recipe while cooking, whereas Alistair just chucks everything in to use up leftovers and see what happens. Alistair gets meals together super quickly whereas Celia takes forever. A little unfairly, Celia is perceived as the better cook because she produces very consistent meals, while Alistair’s experiments sometimes do work, and sometimes don’t, with people tending to focus on the disasters rather than the successes. Meanwhile Celia is rather: “should I add half a sprig of rosemary? No I mustn’t: it would be far too daring!” so everyone learns to tip their own seasonings into their bowl before even tasting her food.

When they’re travelling and walking for days on end, Alistair and Celia make up a lot of games in the vein of ‘I spy’ and ‘would you rather?’ They can occasionally persuade others to participate though no one enjoys them or gets quite as invested as Celia and Alistair (who are actual children).

A game stops abruptly one day when Celia guilelessly asks if Alistair would rather be Emperor of Orlais or King of Fereldan and he gets extremely defensive and answers, “Neither.” Having no context for this reaction (yet), Celia (a stickler for the rules) pushes him, insisting his answer isn’t allowed and that he’s cheating until Alistair gets grouchy, stomps off and refuses to play anything for days.

Celia figures he must be overtired, but his unhappy reaction does come back to her later at the Landsmeet and contributes to her already firm resolve not to put him on the throne.

When bored, Alistair also periodically asks Celia to, “Do a trick!” with her magic and she usually obliges with something small and silly which Wynne always scolds them for (but they continue to do anyway).

Celia does not like Eamon one bit and makes it clear from their first meeting. Alistair actually gets a bit annoyed at her because she is polite to 99% of the other people they meet and he can’t understand what her problem is. Celia won’t say because she doesn’t want to drive Alistair away so she remains coldly civil towards Eamon and commences a long, looong process of nudging Alistair towards having the realisation himself that a) Eamon is manipulative, selfish and cruel and b) Alistair deserves better.

Celia wants to collect some of the books they find which is not practical given they are constantly travelling, but Alistair carries as many as he can in his pack and suffers in silence for it, ultimately finding it worth it for her enthusiastic gratitude.

Celia cuts Alistair’s hair and does a very respectable job after weeks of him complaining it’s flopping in his eyes (they used to cut each other’s hair in the Circle). Zevran pretends she did an awful job, gasping in horror at Alistair’s appearance, much to Celia’s ire. Alistair (internally weeping) tries to be brave until he can check his reflection in some plate mail and see it is fine.

Celia is very naïve about how the ‘real world’ works having been at the Circle since she was a child. This is especially evident in Denerim and Alistair has to explain how money works and grab her before she wanders down dicey looking alleyways.

Alistair nearly dissolves into a paroxysm of agony when he points out his favourite type of cheese at the Denerim Markets and (accustomed to the very limited range of bland foods provided at the Circle) Celia innocently asks, “There is more than one type of cheese?” Alistair makes it his mission to educate her. She doesn’t like most of what he feeds her but doesn’t say so to protect his feelings given he seems to take the matter so incredibly personally.

Leliana convinces Celia to sing one evening at the campfire. She’s breathy with a very limited range but manages okay, and Leliana plays and harmonises in support. Watching on with a goofy smile plastered over his face, Alistair comments to the surrounding companions about how talented she is and they’re like “…she’s really not mate.”

When they both wake up from a blightmare (or Celia has one and wakes Alistair with her flailing) they sneak about and eat anything they can find then sit up and have massive deep & meaningfuls (i.e. in the spirit of going for a long drive with a friend or being in the garden with someone outside a party and spilling your guts). Eventually they start blaming the depleted food stores on Leliana’s nug, Schmooples, much to Leliana’s displeasure.

Given Celia usually responds so well to his jokes, Alistair gets a bit peeved when Celia starts replying to some of his more severely self-deprecating humour with an unamused, “No you’re not,” or, “That’s not true.” He defensively argues it’s just a joke, but he does stop doing it so much as time goes on.

Celia is SO excited when Alistair gives her the rose. She never in her life thought she would be the recipient of a proper ~romantic gesture~…however she accidentally sits on the rose about five minutes after she gets it. Celia is devastated. There is a lot of panic and tears and she keeps one petal pressed in a book but has to unceremoniously ditch the rest in secret.

Celia doesn’t tell Alistair about this until years later and she’s terrified he’ll be hurt but he just laughs because he was so worried he was going to be the one to squash it and then she destroyed it basically the minute she got it. Alistair acknowledges it was an impractical gift given their situation. Celia gets mad and says it was a PERFECT gift and is annoyed at how funny he finds it given this has been a crushing, guilty secret hanging over her for years.

Following this, every time Alistair gives her any kind of gift, he can’t help but throw in a ‘Don’t sit on it!” and cracks himself up, especially when Celia gets grumpy about it and accuses him of spoiling the moment. It happens so often that when Alistair chooses a horse for her and plans to teach her to ride, Celia manages to cut him off with, “Yes, I know Alistair: I can sit on this one,” and steals his thunder.

Alistair periodically says Celia’s name just to check if she’ll answer, especially after a long period of quiet or to see if she’s awake à la screaming in the chantry because it’s so silent. When she responds he says, “Nothing” or “Never mind” but he finds it vaguely comforting just to hear her reply and it’s a habit he never loses, even when they have been together for years and he is much less isolated generally. Alistair doesn’t realise he’s doing it, and it never happens frequently enough for Celia to notice: she just assumes he has lost his train of thought.

They sometimes conspire to purposely fall to the back of the group while on the road so that they can hold hands. Everyone knows full well what they are doing, but Alistair and Celia think they are being incredibly ~sneaky~.

The first time they sleep together they laugh. A lot. Before, during and after.

Alistair snores loudly but only when he’s on his back. Celia is used to the noise of people sleeping around her at the Circle so it doesn’t bother her and she doesn’t want to disturb him because she knows he needs the rest.

When they are known to be sharing a tent however, their companions will slap on the walls of it and demand she kick him until he stops snoring. Celia will relent and gently prod and nudge Alistair until he rolls over with a bit of sleepy grumbling.

I think everyone has this headcanon to the point it is basically actual canon HOWEVER I am legally obligated to include it: Alistair is a professional body heat distributor and Celia drastically cuts down on the number of blankets she uses once they are sleeping together. If she stands in front of him on cold days, he understands the non-verbal signal and will automatically wrap her in his cloak.

Also might as well be canon: Alistair likes to be the little spoon. He doesn’t say, but Celia knows.

Decidedly not a fluff one (you can skip to Amaranthine to avoid) but the ritual with Morrigan fairly significantly messes Alistair up (both the act itself and his consideration of the repercussions i.e. Kieran). He’s jubilant and relieved at their victory over the Archdemon, but in the background struggles to process and there is some fallout once the victory celebrations lull and he has time to fully register what happened. Alistair grapples with a lot of guilt, disgust and confusion. He doesn’t know how to express it or where to direct his emotions so it mainly manifests as self-loathing. He wants to talk to Celia about it but can’t articulate his feelings which makes him feel worse.

Celia tries to comfort him, but he needs space on and off for a long while after and she gives him it. She feels a lot of guilt too, and never stops wondering how much it was actually his choice to do the ritual, worrying that she made him feel like he had to do it. Eventually they discuss it openly and honestly, which eases both of their minds somewhat, but it takes a long time to get to a point where they can talk on the subject. Meeting Kieran at Skyhold also helps Alistair down the line, though it’s obviously painful.

Amaranthine & Inquisition

Alistair keeps an eye out for people struggling, especially new recruits who are having trouble fitting in. He takes them under his wing and is very good at building people up and making sure everyone is included. He’ll just start enthusiastically greeting people like they are his best friend and squeezing himself onto the bench next to them at meals until everyone else follows suit.

For recruits that don’t respond well to his ‘mother hen’ type attention, Celia is good at assigning tasks that specifically highlight their strengths and builds their confidence/sense of purpose which also gains them the respect of their peers.

Alistair has been known to stand behind Celia while she is giving mundane orders/making speeches and pull faces or impersonate her, turning stony and impassive when she spins around accusingly because people are laughing.

But if anyone else talks smack about her he gets very, “Sorry mate, just to clarify was that comment directed at my wife, your Commander, the hERO OF FERELDAN, VANQUISHER OF AN ARCHDEMON!? That’s lucky, I didn’t THINK IT LIKELY. Because that wouldn’t be WISE, would it now?” etc. with some loud, fake laughter and firm backslapping for the worst offenders.

The plan for them to part ways so that Celia can search for a cure goes very badly, especially because Celia (under a lot of stress and not coping™) eventually devolves into, “I’m in charge and I say so,” which is a big betrayal of their agreements both to stay together, and make decisions together on equal footing. She realises this and takes it back but Alistair is demoralised and gives in with a bit of petty, sarcastic reverence e.g. saluting and, “Whatever you say boss, don’t know why I dared to utter an opinion how foolish of me...” so they still part on slightly strained terms, even after later mutually apologising and trying to make the most of their time together before they go.

Both regret the argument during their separation and write horribly soppy letters to each other, but something still feels uncomfortably unresolved until they are together again. They pine. So much. It’s disgusting and cliched. There is considerable sighing and staring at the moon or deep into tankards, very much to the ire of those around them. Alistair can be particularly annoying: “This roll reminds me of my wife...she eats bread sometimes...”

After Celia sends the letter to the Inquisitor, she writes to Leliana directly along the lines of, “I know it was incredibly subtle but I wanted to check: did they get the message? That I will destroy them if Alistair gets hurt?” and Leliana replies in the vein of, “Hon, it wasn’t even remotely subtle ffs…”

When reunited, though ecstatic and nearly delirious with joy and relief, it takes a while to rebuild the trust they once had, especially for Alistair. There’s an unfamiliar awkwardness that flares up unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last and they’re both fully committed to each other and to staying together permanently this time.

Celia and Alistair have a conversation recapping everything that happened while they were apart in which Celia is all, “Poor Hawke. Honestly I’m shocked you didn’t do something obscenely idiotic like try and sacrifice yourself thank the Maker for that…” and Alistair is there, nervously sweating, looking for an exit, loosening his collar etc.

As they settle back into their old routines Alistair will occasionally blurt out things like, “I really like having breakfast with you,” and then berate himself internally for how trite that sounds but Celia replies on cue, “I love waking up next to you and the way you groan when you stretch your back out and the way you check your hair twice before you leave the room and the way you complain if I don’t eat my crusts and the way you still hold my hand when we’re walking...” and basically they’re just blissfully happy being comfortably domestic and even as they get older they are forever just teenagers in love.

The Wardens at Amaranthine acquire/receive a griffon egg and the hatchling imprints on Alistair and decides he is their mother. It can’t cope with separation, crying constantly if Alistair goes out of sight, and won’t let anyone else feed or handle it so Alistair carries them in a sling 24/7. He gets to give orders and run training sessions with the tiny griffon occasionally poking its head out just to glare at everyone.

Whenever the baby griffon squeaks, Alistair automatically replies, “Well said,” or “Excellent point, Ser Beaksly” with a totally straight face.

For the first few months, Celia gets nipped or scratched if she approaches Alistair unless he wraps the griffon up. It so badly wants to fight her. Celia is permitted to sleep in her own bed, as long as the griffon sleeps curled on Alistair’s chest and Celia doesn't try anything outrageous like touching her husband even fleetingly. It gets a little frustrating as the months drag on, but the image of Alistair with the sling over his armour, or with the griffon snuggling possessively around his neck staring daggers at everyone, is so entertaining that Celia can’t get truly annoyed about it. As the griffon gets older it does learn to tolerate other people and becomes more independent but remains very protective of Alistair and favours him above all others. Insert the ‘Ah yes. Me. My husband. And his thousand pound murder-bird-cat child’ meme here.

Modern AU Bonus Round

They share headphones while commuting.

They occasionally end up wearing sort of matching outfits, mostly unintentionally.

They consistently refer to their dog, Trevor, as their son to the point that people who aren’t familiar with them assume that they actually have a child.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #alistair theirin #warden alistair #warden x alistair #amell x alistair #warden amell #headcanons #my art #my writing #file under no one cares but me #but my goodness do I ever care #I can't wait to delete a bunch of these from my phone where they have been lurking forever #this draft is weeks old why am I so scared of posting on tumblr???#the problem is the longer I leave it #the more I add #I'm out of control #this is too many headcanons #I must be stopped

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eboyhitoshi · 4 years

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SFW Alphabet for Kirishima, please??

Of course love!

SFW Alphabet

Pairing: Kirishima x Reader

Master List

A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show it?)

Kirishima is a very affectionate boyfriend. He loves smothering you in pure love and adoration, it makes him so happy when he sees a smile on your face or he makes you blush.

He shows his affection for you in literally any way he can. He doesn’t mind much about pda either so unless you do, he’s attached to your side all the time.

B - Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

Honestly, Kirishima seems like the kind of guy who’s with his high school sweetheart forever, so that’s most likely how you started. You met while attending UA and he thought you were breathtaking from the moment he saw you. From then on he never gave up on trying to make you, his.

C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How do they cuddle?)

He absolutely loves it. After long days of hero work just holding you in his arms or being held in yours relaxes him so much.

He loves it when he lays on his back and you’re curled up to his side with you head on his chest. It makes him feel so wanted and loved, and he can’t help if a giddy smile comes on his face as he rolls over and beat hugs you until you’re both asleep.

D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? Are they good at things like cooking and cleaning?)

Kiri would love to settle down one day, have a few kids, all that Jazz. He’s not great at cooking but he tries his best, he’s better at cleaning but he’s still not great at it.

E - Effort (How much effort do they put into the relationship?)

He really tries his best in your relationship. Being a pro hero makes it a little harder but he gives you any time that he can. He prioritizes your needs above his own.

F - Fear (What do they do if you’re scared? How would they comfort you? How would they wanna be comforted if they were scared?)

If it’s something physical: He’ll hold you tightly in his strong arms, letting you hide your face in his chest as he whispers sweet nothings and reassurances into your ear. For him, he also likes to be held similarly, and he especially likes it when he gets to be little spoon because he feels very protected.

If it’s something Mental: He’ll try to help talk you through it so he understands why it makes you scared, then he’ll still offer you any support he can give you. Kirishima likes it when you soothingly rub his shoulders or his arm as you let him explain everything going on and why he’s scared. Then he’ll just want you to hold him through the night and he’ll be ok.

G - Gifts (Do they like giving you gifts? Do they like receiving them?)

Kirishima’s not the type to bombard you with gifts all the time, but if he’s out patrolling or something and he sees something that really reminds him of you he’ll probably buy it. He likes receiving gifts too, but not all the time because it’ll make him feel bad if he doesn’t have something for you too.

H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? What’re their hugs like? How often would they hug you?)

He loves them! His hugs are amazing, and he’ll give them to you all the time. A typical hug from him is a bear hug where he hides his face in the crook of your neck. When he gets home from work the first thing he does is set his stuff down and give you a hug and a kiss.

I - Intimacy (Do they have any problems with intimacy? How romantic are they?)

He doesn’t seem to have any problems with intimacy, but he does like to take things slow. When it comes to romance, he tries his best, but sometimes he can’t stay serious when trying to be romantic. It’s just not his personality to be completely serious all the time.

J- Jealousy (How jealous are they? What happens when they’re jealous?)

Kirishima’s not exactly the jealous type but he definitely can have his moments. Most of the time if it’s just someone getting a little too touchy or comfortable with you, he’ll tense up slightly and pull you closer to him. His arm will stay firm around your waist, hand gripping your hip hard but to to hard that it hurts. He has a mean death glare when he wants one so if you’re too far away from him for him to grab you then he’ll just death glare from afar.

K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are soft and warm. It’s like your lips are being hugged by him. They’re also very sweet and tender, like if he moves the wrong way he’ll break you and he doesn’t want that. He likes to kiss your cheeks a lot. He likes the little squish in they give and the giggle it makes you let out. He loves it when you hug him from behind and kiss his shoulders, it turns him into putty in your hands.

L - Love (Who says it first? How fast is it said?)

Kirishima says it first, after about three months. So not too far into the relationship but not too soon. He didn’t want to overwhelm you by saying it too early but he really did love you.

M - Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of wedding would it be?)

He would love to marry you! And if you say yes to his proposal he’s elated. Planning for the wedding almost starts in the spot out of just pure excitement.

With him it doesn’t need to be this huge ceremony, just your families and friends come, unless of course you want a huge ceremony. If you do, baby you’ll get it. Kiri lets you have whatever type of wedding you want, because he doesn’t need anything but you. Honestly he’s fine with eloping.

N - Nights Out (What’s a typical date night for them? How often do they go out?)

Sadly a pro hero’s schedule doesn’t allow for many nights out, so you guys don’t get to go on dates very often. But when you do, Kirishima wants to treat you. Dinner at your favorite restaurant then going to a movie or a play and then going home and lying in the grass staring at the stars for hours. He tries his best to be gentlemanly, as it’s the manly thing to do.

O - Open (How open are they? How long does it take them to open up?)

He’s pretty open with you, but it took him a little while to get there. He wouldn’t completely open up to you about his feelings until your relationship had a solid foundation. It’s not until about six months in that he’ll be completely open all the time. There are sometime you have to urge him a little more, but he’ll usually tell you what’s on his mind without much pressing.

P - Playful (How playful are they?)

He’s very playful when he wants to be! Which is honestly most of the time. He’s not a super serious guy, but he definitely knows when to shut that playfulness off and be serious.

Q - Questions (Do they ask for your opinion on things? Will they share theirs?)

Your opinion is like gospel to him. If you don’t like that shirt, he doesn’t like that shirt. He has more faith in your fashion sense than his own so he’ll take your opinion before his own. When it comes to more serious things, he’ll ask for your opinion and take what you said into consideration before he makes a decision. He just wants to make the right choice and he finds it easier to do after talking to someone about it.

If you want his opinion on something, just ask and he’ll give it to you. Sometimes he does have a bad habit of sugar coating things so you’ll just have to remind him to be honest and he’ll tell you what he really thinks.

R - Random (How spontaneous are they? Do they do things on the spot or do they have to plan ahead?)

Most of the things Kirishima does he comes up with on the spot. Oh, you want to go rock climbing for a date once? Well he’s got some time just go right now. He’s not a big stickler on having to plan ahead, he’s perfectly fine with doing things on the spot. Besides when he does actually take time to plan something out, it doesn’t go according to plan anyway.

S - Security (How protective of you are they?)

He’s very protective over you. He’s the boyfriend who rushes over when you’re chopping vegetables screaming: “Please be careful! Oh my god don’t cut yourself!”

T - Trust (How much do they trust you?)

He trusts you with his life. Like if you were in a life threatening situation, he’d probably take your word on what to do over his own. He would just trust whatever decision you make is probably the right one.

U - Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

Kirishima is unique in the way that he’s not afraid something will go wrong all the time. He believes that failures can only make you come back stronger and with a new attitude towards things. Of course he always wants to do his best, but he’s not afraid for things to go wrong.

V - Vent (Do they let you vent to them after a hard day? Will they vent to you?)

Kiri is probably the best person to vent to ever. He offers you any support you need. Whether you just wanted him to hold you for a little bit or if you want to go punch the shit out of some pillows, he is there for it. When it comes to him venting though, he won’t just do it. You have to give him a little push before he’ll just bust out crying or yelling about how awful his day has been. Just ask him if he’s ok, and he’ll just leg it all loose.

W - Wild Card (Random Headcanon)

If he sees you crying ever, he’s instantly at your side hugging you and trying his best to calm you down. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that physically hurt you or if it just made you sad his top priority is making sure that you’re ok. He’ll hug you, whisper sweet nothing in your ear, rub his fingers through your hair, anything. He becomes almost desperate for you to not be sad that he’ll do anything you want him to.

X - X Ray (What would they do if you got injured?)

Nurse Kirishima to the rescue! He waits on you hand and foot, because he doesn’t want you doing anything that could hurt you any worse. He gets very protective over you, and sometimes he can be a little overbearing with it but if you tell him that, he’ll lay off. He just wants you to get better as fast as possible.

Y - Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about you? Do they have any bad habits that would bother you?)

The only thing that would annoy him would be if you don’t wash your dishes right after you use them. Like if you leave dirty dishes in the sink he gets upset. Because why not just wash them if you’re taking them to the sink anyway? Something he does that could potentially annoy you is he always leaves the toilet seat up. Always. Even if you tell him he forgets to put it down. It never fails.

Z - Zzz (What’re some sleeping habits of theirs?)

He has to be touching you while he’s sleeping. Even if it’s just his foot on your leg somewhere, he just has to subconsciously know that you’re there and you’re ok. I mean of course he prefers being all snuggled up but if it’s hot, he’ll give you space but leave a leg lingering by you.

#bnha eijiro kirishima #kirishima headcanon #eijirou kirishima #mha kirishima #kirishima x reader #bnha kirishima #kirishima x you #mha eijirou #bnha eijirou #kirishima #eijirou #kirishima eijirou #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha alphabet #sfw alphabet

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notimetoblog · 6 years

Text

Not Happening

Summary: An online dating site clearly makes a mistake when it matches you with the one person you cannot stand.

A/N: I’ve been meaning to write another story yet I somehow always manage to become stuck. To get my mind off it, I started to rematch Parks and Rec and got the idea for this fic lol. I'm thinking of giving it a few chapters and making it a mini series. The inspiration came from the episode “Soulmates” from the third season of the show. I’ll just be using the basic premise of the episode, this story wont follow it exactly. I’m also picturing this as a modern au :). I hope you guys like it!! Thanks for reading as always.

MY STORIES

Meet us downstairs in 5

Panic raced through your body as you realized you only had 5 minutes to meet Nat and Wanda. They had texted you almost two hours ago hoping you’d join them for coffee and you had, of course, left getting ready until the end.

Running to your closet you picked up the closest clothing items and threw them on, hoping you didn’t look too much of a mess. You gave yourself a quick look in the mirror, knowing there wasn’t enough time to do much more, grabbed your purse, and raced down the stairs.

Everybody knew Nat was a stickler for punctuality. It was her mission in life to be early to anything and everything she was ever invited to. Although she would never admit it, she always tried her best to rub off her punctuality to her friends, becoming easily annoyed when Tony or Sam claimed to be “fashionably late”. This was just a casual meeting with friends, but still, your survival instincts told you not to keep Nat waiting.

Exciting your building you looked up and down the street, a smile spreading across your face when you spotted your friends.

“Hey guys,” you said as you approached them, giving them a small wave.

“Hi,” they greeted in unison. Wanda was adjusting a cross body bag she wore as they began walking towards you.

You had known Nat and Wanda for several years now. Luck had placed all three of you in the same class in high school and you had become inseparable ever since. All three of your personalities complimented each other perfectly. Nat’s usual intense approach to life was balanced out by Wanda’s more easy-going attitude. You usually found yourself in between the two with a not so intense yet not so carefree attitude, finishing off the perfect mixture for a lasting friendship.

“So, you’re saying he was a dud,” Nat said with a smirk from behind her coffee cup. She had been showing a lot of interest in your love life, well to state more accurately, your non-existent love life.

The three of you were sipping on your coffee, casually conversing about a series of topics that had ranged from the recent news, to World Cup, to the date you had been on a few nights ago. If you knew anything about Nat and Wanda was that if they had something they wanted to know about you, they would most likely be able to ease it out of you. So, you carefully listened to their questions hoping to see where they were steering the conversation.

“That’s not what I said,” you replied with a chuckle.

A few nights ago, you had gone out to dinner with Jake, a new coworker. It had been a nice date. He had been a gentleman, opening doors and pulling out chairs, listening to you talk about your interests, had been very good at keeping the conversation going, yet after you had said goodbye you realized it felt more like you had hung out with Nat or Wanda. There had been no sparks, just a lovely beginning to a new friendship.

“He’s a great guy,” you continued, ignoring the sarcastic sounds of agreement both your friends were making. “He is! He’s kind, a great listener, but you know, he’s more of a guy that would make an excellent friend.”

“Fine,” Nat said, teasingly rolling her eyes. “If we’re getting technical, I guess you could say that even though he wasn’t a dud, the date was. Is that more accurate?”

“Yes!” you said, mockingly slamming your hands on the table. “That’s exactly it!”

“Well,” Wanda began and the way she drew out that word made you a tad nervous. “Maybe you can try looking somewhere else?”

“Come on, just spit it out Wanda,” you said knowing very well she must have been thinking something up with Nat if they seemed this interested in who you were or weren’t dating.

“Alright,” she said with a laugh. “Why don’t you look online? You know, on one of those dating sites. Maybe you can find someone there? Even if it’s just to have a little fun.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” you said shaking your head. “That’s kind of weird, no? Like I’m just supposed to feel a connection to someone simply by seeing their picture?”

“Well not exactly,” Nat jumped in. “See you write down your interests, so the site matches you with people who are into the same things.”

“Oh,” you said starting to consider making yourself a profile. It wouldn’t hurt to try, you thought.

“And I mean, maybe you don’t find your future husband, but maybe you find a few nice guys you get to hang out with,” Nat said. She leaned a bit forward on the table giving you a reassuring smile. “And you don’t have to accept to go out with anyone if you don’t want to. Just because you match with someone doesn’t mean you’ll have to meet.”

“Well,” you began. Your thoughts raced hoping this wouldn’t be as bad as you had originally thought. “I mean, I guess I could give it a try,” you smiled.

“Great!” Wanda said a bit too loud causing those around you to look your way. “Sorry,” she said, her hands up in an apologetic gesture. “We can build your profile right now!”

You were starting to question how they would be able to do that, but all your questions were answered as she pulled out a laptop from her bag.

“You guys planned this, didn’t you?” you said. You stared at them, piercing your eyes to let them know you were clearly suspicious of them.

“We just hoped you’d agree,” Nat said with a shrug. “We didn’t just invite you out for coffee for this. We really did want to hang out.”

“Fine,” you said with mock anger. “I’ll choose to believe you ONLY because you paid for my coffee and because you have graciously accepted to also buy me lunch.

“I didn’t,” she replied. “That was not a par-“

“Ok!” Wanda cut her off. “The first question says to describe yourself.”

“Let’s see,” you said, surprised at how fast she had pulled up the page. Knowing her, though, she had probably already saved it on her laptop for easy access. “I love to read and die for candy, another treat Nat has offered to buy me.”

“Ok. Sexy, well read, and loves the sweeter things in life,” Wanda said as she typed the description onto your profile.

“Much better,” you said with a chuckle.

“Favorite place?” Wanda asked.

“Um.. Oh! The small community garden that’s right by my place. It has this cute bench right by a patch of flowers.”

“Really?” Nat asked. “It can be anywhere in the world. Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon?”

“Nope,” you said as you pictured the bench you were talking about, a smile appearing on your lips at the peace sitting there usually brought. It had a great view of this patch of colorful flowers. If your sat at the perfect spot, you could pretend it wasn’t only a patch, but a meadow that extended as far as your eye could see. “Just the little bench in that garden.”

“What do you think of dogs?” Wanda asked after having typed your response.

“Love,” you replied quickly.

“Cats?”

“Love.”

“Fish?”

“Love”

“Turtles?”

“No opinion,” a serious tone suddenly overtook your voice. Nat and Wanda both turned to you with a confused look. “They’re condescending,” you said nonchalantly.

“Ok” Wanda said with amusement. “Describe your ideal man.”

“Oh gosh. I mean, mysterious.”

“Mhmm,” Nat nodded in agreement as she took another sip of her coffee.

“Funny, intelligent, kind, caring, great listener, not afraid to show emotion or of commitment, handsome, romantic, can build stuff, doesn’t mind getting caught in the rain, can row a boat.”

“You’re just describing Noah Calhoun from The Notebook,” Wanda snorted.

“Mmm,” you said with a smile. “I mean if this thing,” you said pointing at the computer, “can find me a Noah Calhoun then I might just kiss it.”

“Who’s this poor Noah guy?” an intruding male voice caused you all to look behind you. “And can I just tell him how sorry I am that he might be stuck with you? It’s the least I can do for the guy.”

You rolled your eyes as you realized Bucky was the one speaking. The two of you had met thanks to your mutual friend Steve and had never gotten along. He was so full of himself, thinking he was high and mighty and could get whatever he wanted. His cocky attitude had instantly caused you to suppress voicing some of your strongest opinions on him for Steve’s sake. You were still unsure of how he and Steve could be friends. Steve was so kind and sweet, and Bucky was the embodiment of all your pet peeves and then some.

Pulling up a chair from the table next to you, he took a seat next to Wanda, who thankfully immediately closed her laptop before Bucky could see what you had been working on.

“Hi Nat,” Bucky flashed a smile to the red head who responded with a quick hello. “Wanda,” he said, playfully bumping his shoulder with hers.

“Hi Buck,” Wanda responded.

After being invited to a get together at Steve’s place, Bucky had met both Nat and Wanda. Neither of your friends had found Bucky as off putting as you had made him out to be. They accompanied you ready to hate Bucky’s guts as much as you did, but left chatting about how funny and interesting he was. You had rolled your eyes telling them once they saw him as many times as you had, they would be singing a different tune. Unfortunately for you, though, that had not happened just yet. On the contrary, Bucky seemed to charm them more every time.

“So why are you trying to ruin this guy’s day, Y/N?”

“Shut it Barnes,” you snapped back at him. “You’re rudely interrupting a conversation, by the way, so why don’t you just leave us alone.”

“Ouch,” he said, mockingly placing a hand over his heart. “And here I was thinking you’d be happy to see me, doll.”

“I doubt you’ll ever get that reaction from me. I’ve already had enough of you to last two lifetimes.”

“Did you get dressed in the dark?” he asked, pointing at your clothes, which you had hastily thrown on.

“Shut up,” you replied, an edge to your voice only he was able to bring out. “It’s not like you’re much of a fashion expert.”

“Maybe,” he chuckled as he raised an eyebrow, unbothered by your evident unhappiness with his presence. “But even I know those colors clash. Anyway,” he said directing his gaze to Nat. “What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing much,” she replied with a slight smile. “Just planning our day.”

You looked over at her, hoping she could sense the waves of gratitude you were trying to telepathically send her way, for not letting Bucky know about your online profile. He would surely tease you about it until you pulled your hair out.

“Well, if you guys are interested there’s this new photo gallery one of my buddies just opened up. He asked me to invite all the cool people I know, so sorry Y/N, but this invitation is just for Nat and Wanda,” a smirk you wish you could punch away spread across his lips. You stared back at him with a deathly glare mentally willing him to just disappear. He just had this way of getting under your skin with anything he said or did. He could be standing half a mile away from you, looking in the opposite direction, and he would still manage to piss you off.

‘Whatever’, you mouthed as you rolled your eyes at him.

“It opens tonight at 8,” he said as he (finally) began standing up and handed a small flyer to Wanda. “And you know what? I’ll be nice and also extend the invitation to you Y/N. Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you,” he said with a wink; a very stupid and irritating wink.

“We’ll be there,” Nat said with a laugh. For some reason she always found Bucky’s attitude towards you humorous. You looked at her incredulously, taking back all the gratitude you had sent her way before.

“Awesome,” he said. “Look forward to seeing two of you tonight.”

With that he turned and walked out the coffee place.

“You did not just accept an invitation from that idiot!” You glared at Nat, who continued to laugh.

“I did,” she finally said after managing to control her laughter.

“Wanda!” you said looking for back up. “Surely you see the evil I’m trying to fight off.”

She chuckled, “Y/N, he’s a just an idiot around you and he did invite you too at the end.”

You crossed your arms across your chest.

“You two can have fun at this lame photo exhibit because you can forget about me going. I don’t think I’ll be able to pretend to get along with him at a public function.”

“We’ll talk about that later,” Nat said, waving her hands as if that could easily dismiss your hatred towards Bucky. “Let’s finish up your profile.”

“Yes!” Wanda said, having seemingly forgotten about it thanks to Bucky. “I just have to upload your info and a picture.”

After taking out her phone, she and Nat helped you take a nice picture, helping you find your best angle and arranging your hair the most flattering way. You approved a picture, and Wanda uploaded it to your profile.

“Now, you can start looking through a few profiles or you can wait until the system finds you someone they think might be a good match.”

“Lets just start looking,” you leaned forward to get a better look at the computer screen.

“Wait!” Wanda yelled, startling both Nat and you.

“What is it?” Nat asked a bit worried at Wanda’s sudden exclamation.

“You got a match!” Wanda said, all but bouncing up and down on her seat.

“Really?!?” you said a bit too excitedly; something that did not go unnoticed by Nat who chuckled.

“Oh my god,” Wanda continued reaching out for your hand. “It’s a 98% match! That’s a soulmate level match. I’ve never seen anything this high before.”

You squealed unable to hold back your excitement. What if this online dating site actually guided you to your perfect match. Maybe you really were about to find your own Noah Calhoun.

“This computer might’ve actually just found the future Mr. Y/L/N,” Nat said.

“Who is he!?” you asked scanning the screen and not seeing any information on him.

“Click right here,” Wanda said pointing to a small red box in the center of the screen. “That will take you to his profile.”

Nat gave you a drumroll by banging her hands on the table as you moved the cursor to the little red box.

After a pause for dramatic effect, you gave the box a click.

“Ah!” you recoiled as Nat and Wanda double over besides you with laughter.

Staring right back at you was a picture of a man, leaning on a motorcycle, wearing a black leather jacket. He looked off to one side, trying to make this clearly posed picture look like a candid shot. His eyes were too familiar, despite them looking to one side, his voice already nagging in your mind.

His name was written across the top of the page, in bold black letters, mocking you.

JAMES BARNES.

This HAD to be a joke.

PART 2

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Bucky Tags!

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #Modern!AU #bucky barnes #bucky #stories by notimetoblog

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rhysie-cakes314 · 6 years

Text

Day 2 of Challenge- Lost

“If you’re not back by 10pm on the dot, I will officially assemble the Avengers to find you, do not think I’m kidding, I am not kidding. This is no joke. On second thought, maybe we should come with you. You can start going on your own next year, I don’t know why I let your Pops talk me into this, I’m going to go get my things. I could use the exercise anyway,” and he was rambling. Tony knew he was rambling. Somewhere deep down, he knew he was being unreasonable too, but he was just so nervous.

Steve placed a hand on his husband’s shoulder and gave a tight squeeze. It grounded Tony, reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his anxiety. It also had the added side effect of shutting him up. “They will be fine, Tony. Your dad knows you’ll be fine because you’re a mature, well-behaved big boy now, aren’t you?” Steve directed the last comment towards Peter.

To his credit, Peter nodded with the seriousness of a soldier on a mission. “Of course, Pops.” He looked at Tony, who was crossing his arms tensely in an attempt to stop fidgeting, “Plus I’ve got JARVIS, right dad?” He held up his Stark phone proudly with a grin. It was not a commercially available model; Tony had designed it just for Peter. It had JARVIS on it, just like all of his own devices.

Tony tried to glare at the grinning kid, but the lopsided smile slid onto his face without his permission. The kid was just so cute. “Yeah, yeah. Get over her and give your old man another hug,” he spread his arms open wide, bending to one knee.

Peter hugged him fiercely before backing away to stand next to his friend, Wade, again. “We gotta go, we’re gonna miss the good candy!”

Wade nodded in agreement. The two boys had decided to coordinate their costumes this year, and Steve had already forced them to photograph for an hour today. Wade made for a very skinny Wolverine while Peter’s eyes were hidden behind his Cyclops goggles Tony had helped him make. He had done most of it himself, but Tony had to help a little with the LED wiring. The effect was worth it. Tony made sure to text Professor X a pic, knowing Xavier could appreciate his son’s adoration of the X-Men.

“Back by ten!” Steve yelled after them as they took off into his old neighborhood. He reached over to lace his fingers through Tony’s. “Let’s go to dinner.” He felt warm and fuzzy. His family was everything he could’ve wanted in life, and memories of trick-or-treating with Bucky had him nostalgic.

“That’s not along the path that my dads laid out for us,” Peter said uncertainly when Wade began pulling him towards another neighborhood an hour later. Pops had been very particular about where they were allowed to trick-or-treat, but Wade did have a point. They were nearly finished with all of the houses on that path, and there was still another hour before they had to head back and meet his parents.

“Pete, c’mon. Do you really want to pass up on all that extra candy and go home early? There’s no reason your dads even have to know. I sure won’t tell.” His eyes were alight with mischief. If anyone could convince Peter Stark-Rogers to break bend the rules, Wade Wilson was the man for the job. He wasn’t sure why he could, Peter was usually such a stickler for rules, but when Wade set them on a path of mischief, it always resulted in laughter and a good time. Plus there was something extra fun about having a shared secret they could allude to later.

Peter bit his lip, a slight blush colouring his cheeks, and Wade wished he didn’t have those goggles on. He wanted to look his best friend in the eyes to see what he was thinking. Without explaining himself, Peter suddenly whipped out his phone and turned it off. “Can’t have JARVIS alerting them,” he explained when Wade stared at him in confusion.

Wade felt his face break into a grin. He gripped Pete’s arm again. “Let’s go!” and the two boys took off running, determined to get twice the candy they already had.

Tony pushed the lava cake around his plate, watching it slide in a fudge trail. Steve knew he hadn’t really touched his meal either. Finishing his own slice of pie, he leaned forward to catch Tony’s attention. “Are you really that nervous?”

Tony startled, looking up to meet Steve’s eyes. “That obvious, huh?” He smirked, but the fear was clear in his eyes.

Steve reached out to clasp his lovers’ hands. “Honey, you haven’t eaten at all. And Italian is your favourite.” He searched Tony’s eyes for a hint of why this bothered him so much. All he saw was raw fear. He sighed. “Parents are out on porches watching over all the kids, no one is going to get nabbed without plenty of witnesses, and Peter knows the path, he can’t get lost. Buck and I started trick-or-treating on our own even younger than this!” He let go and threw his hands up, exasperated when Tony didn’t seem convinced. He loved the man with all of his being, but it was a constant battle to keep the genius from helicopter parenting and smothering their son in protection. “When did you?” Maybe this had something to do with a traumatic experience. Steve knew there was still plenty about Tony’s childhood that he never talked about.

Tony’s face scrunched up in confusion. “When did I what? You lost me, Cap.”

Steve shook his head amusedly. “When did you start trick-or-treating without Jarvis?” It was a fairly safe assumption that Howard and Maria had never taken Tony, so Steve figured it was probably Jarvis. The butler was more of a dad to Tony than Howard.

Tony surprised him with a sharp laugh. “Steve, I never trick-or-treated, that was something for normal kids.” It hurt Steve, the way Tony sounded so casual about that. His tone gave no inkling of sarcasm or that he had the notion that there was something wrong with that. “Oh god, Steve, you look like a kicked puppy. It’s not a big deal.”

The server returned with their check, and Tony filled out the receipt with a flourish. “Did you ever get to be a child?” Steve asked quietly. Tony gave him a pained smile. It was answer enough. They stood, and Steve put his arm around Tony’s waist as they exited. He wished, not for the first time, that he could bring Howard back from the grave to kick his ass. “We should throw a costume party next year,” he suggested suddenly. It wasn’t trick-or-treating, but at least Tony would get to dress up. Peter would love it too, and he could just guess at how thrilled Thor would be to participate in another Midgardian holiday.

Tony chuckled, probably thinking along the same lines. “Yeah, okay sweetheart,” he agreed easily. They took their time walking back towards Steve’s old neighborhood. The sun was slowly setting, the sky a gorgeous array of orange and pinks. Tony inhaled the crisp autumn air and allowed his current happiness to chase away the lingering bitterness about his childhood for the time being. He had a great life. The love of his life had married him, they adopted a wonderful son, and his team had become his extended family where he never really had a real one. Life was good.

“We’re lost,” Peter’s voice wobbled, but his tears didn’t spill over. None of the houses in sight looked familiar, and Peter couldn’t remember what street they had started on anymore. He should have never listened to Wade.

“No we’re not,” Wade said quickly, leading the way in the same direction they had been walking for what seemed like forever. “I know where we’re going,” his voice confident.

The problem was that Peter knew him too well. He could always tell when Wade was lying. “No you don’t!” He shouted angrily. He was scared and tired, his feet hurt, and he just wanted to go home. “You’re just making it up and you know it.” He stomped his feet to punctuate his words.

Wade stopped walking to face his friend. It wasn’t such a big deal that they were lost. Why did Peter care so much? They’d make it back eventually. Wade always found his way eventually. “Fine, you’re right,” he admitted. “But if we walk around, we’ll figure it out eventually. Chill out.”

Peter shook his head and his face was red now. The tears finally began streaking down his cheeks. He knew Wade was never scared, and he wanted to be brave like him but he just wasn’t, okay? New York was huge and full of scary people who did horrible things. He would know, his parents had to fight the scary people all the time. “It’s not chill,” he cried miserably. “I’m scared,” he admitted in a whisper.

Wade pulled him into a hug. Peter was trembling and hiccupping. “I’m sorry,” he comforted. Peter was such a scaredy-cat. He should have expected a reaction like this. It was a real testament to how scared the younger kid was that he hadn’t thought of the obvious on his own. He grabbed Peter’s shoulders and pushed him out of the hug, forcing them to be face to face. “But I promise we’re fine. Just turn your phone back on, and JARVIS will navigate.”

Slow realization dawned on Peter, and he gaped at the other boy. “I didn’t think of that, I’m so stupid,” his voice was even more miserable now. “Plus now my dads will know we broke the rules.”

Wade reached out and snatched away the costume goggles so he could really look at his friend. “Peter, listen to me.” He waited until Peter was meeting his gaze. “You are not stupid.” His voice was firm. “You were scared and that makes thinking hard. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You even understand what I’m saying when my brain won’t make words right,” and that got a giggle from Peter. Peter’s giggle always made Wade’s stomach feel weird. He didn’t really know why but it wasn’t completely unpleasant. “And your dads will just be happy we’re okay.”

Peter stared at Wade for a moment in silence. He wished he could control his blush whenever Wade complimented him, it was so embarrassing. “Yeah, okay.”

“Young sir, you are off your trick-or-treat path,” JARVIS sounded peeved. “Would you care to explain?”

Peter groaned. “JARVIS just help us find our way back, please?” He knew he was whining, but he really was tired.

There was a beat before JARVIS responded, “head north and turn left at the next street sign.” Peter and Wade let out a collective sigh of relief. They were going to get chewed out enough as it is, they didn’t need a lecture from J too.

It turned out Wade was still allowed to spend the night, probably because Tony and Steve never really liked to send him home to his abusive parents, though they hadn’t found proof to give to children’s services yet. Peter was going to be grounded for two weeks.

“I really think it should be two months,” Tony muttered bitterly as they entered the penthouse from the elevator.

Steve chuckled. He could understand the sentiment. “I think Peter scared himself enough that it was a punishment on its own, Tony.”

Peter blushed but didn’t look away. “I wasn’t that scared.”

Wade burst out laughing, and that was really more of a cackle. Wade was cackling at him and Peter glared at the other kid. Wade showed no remorse and just stuck his tongue out before Peter took off chasing him towards his room.

Later that night, when they had finally come down from the sugar rush and were almost asleep, JARVIS spoke up. “I just want you to know, young sir, you’re never truly lost if you have me.”

Peter smiled sleepily at the ceiling. “Thanks, J” he whispered before drifting off to his dreams.

#peter parker #wade wilson #avengers #superfamily #steve rogers #tony stark #stony #fanfic #thearkoctoberchallenge2018 #halloween

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mrsteveecook · 5 years

Text

my coworker is routinely late because of she stops for coffee, letting a man open a door at an interview, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker is routinely late to work because she stops for coffee first

I have a question about a coworker, Sansa, who is routinely ~5-10 minutes late (2-3 times a week). Her job does not require she be here at 9 on the dot. I know being a stickler about a few minutes is not good. However, every morning (not an exaggeration) she is late, she strolls in with Starbucks drinks/food … so in this case, it’s not “traffic was bad” or “the kids weren’t cooperating” — both of which I totally understand happen and aren’t cause for concern. To me, this is a known discretionary stop on her commute and she should plan appropriately for it. If one day the milk steamer explodes and she is late because of that … well, fine, but this is happening SO often. Honestly it just drives me crazy, but I know I have a pet peeve for habitual tardiness.

A further concern is that we are in the midst of recruiting (two offers have been made to new grads and we expect them to start within two months). These new employees will be at the same level, and doing similar work at Sansa (they’ll be more or less equals), and I’m worried Sansa is setting a bad precedent.

I’m not Sansa’s direct manager, but I do have seniority over her (I’m middle management, she is entry level). Am I crazy for wanting to say something to her? I could go to her manager? He and I have a good relationship — we’ve been working together for seven years and I consider us friends. But that seems extreme.

I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think this is a you problem rather than a Sansa problem!

You have a pet peeve about habitual tardiness, but the fact that it’s your pet peeve doesn’t mean Sansa is doing something wrong. The way to solve this isn’t to talk to Sansa, but for you to realize that this isn’t really your business.

Many managers, including me, couldn’t care less if someone is routinely five or 10 minutes late, as long as their job doesn’t require coverage that starts earlier than that. The question for any manager should be: What is the work impact of this? If there’s no work impact and Sansa is doing work, who cares? I suspect you care because of the principle of the thing — it annoys you on principle that she doesn’t take timeliness more seriously. But lots of things can annoy you on principle without that making it something you should address.

Ultimately, if her manager doesn’t care, why do you need to? And if you’re thinking, “Well, her manager is making the wrong call” — it doesn’t make sense to nickel and dime good employees over five or ten minutes, especially when a lot of people really value that kind of minor flexibility in their jobs. (And personally I’d be really annoyed if my boss gave me crap about being five minutes late when I was doing great work and it didn’t matter in any way to the work.)

If your concern is that Sansa is setting a bad example for the two new grads who about to start, that’s really something for those new hires’ managers to deal with. If you’ll be the person managing them and you really need them to arrive at 9 on the dot, then you can let them know that — saying something like, “You might seem some people come in a little later than that, but for our work it’s really important that you’re here on time because of ____.” (But if you can’t figure out what to fill in the blank with, that’s a sign that you don’t have an actual reason to require that.)

2. I waited for a man to chivalrously open a door for me while I was interviewing

I have been a stay-at-home mom for about 16 years, but have been working part-time jobs and most recently have been running my own cooking business. I am trying to get back into a professional, corporate position. I had an interview with the VP of HR in his office. When the interview was over and we went to leave, I walked to the closed office door and he was right behind me. I hesitated when we got to the door so that he could open the door for me. Which he then did.

I have no problem opening my own doors, so I don’t know why I didn’t just open the door myself!?! I know it’s not a big deal at all, but do you think this looked bad like I’m some sort of passive, old-fashioned, out of touch woman?! I expect my husband to open doors for me if we’re out and about, but I think men and women are equal!! I’m still waiting to hear if I got the job … it’s between me and one other candidate. She probably opened the door herself.

It’s true that it wasn’t ideal and in general you don’t want to wait for men to open doors for you in a professional context, but I wouldn’t worry a ton about it. There are other explanations for why you could have paused there — like that you were letting him take the lead because he was the “host” of your visit, not because he was a man, etc.

It is true that I’d be concerned if I saw a lot of indications from a candidate that they expected gender-based chivalry in the workplace, but one pause at a door probably wouldn’t add up to that. Give yourself permission not to worry about it!

3. People in my new office talk non-stop over the cubicle walls

Am I just a jerk or am I right in thinking this? I recently started on a new job where I get my own cubicle (no more sharing desks) so that is pretty exciting! That being said, cubicle etiquette is a little new to me. The problem is, all the people around me talk non-stop over the cubicle walls. For example, two people directly to my right talk over their shared wall for hour-long conversations at a time (work-related, but still frustrating). As I write this, they’ve been speaking for over two hours almost without break (I timed it).

Am I wrong in thinking that if your conversation is going to be longer than a minute or two, you should probably try to find a private room so you don’t disturb the people around me? It surely seems like that’d be more beneficial than talking to a wall anyway. I have a lot of trouble focusing with constant chatter in my ear. I tried bringing noise-canceling headphones to work, but there’s still just enough noise that I can’t focus on anything else.

I agree with you, as will lots of others, but ultimately this really depends on the culture of your workplace. If it’s an office where lots of people do a lot of talking over cubicle walls, that’s just the culture there … and they’re not really being rude by participating in that culture and following its norms. If it were just a few people, you could try saying something (like “I’m sorry to ask but I’m have trouble focusing — would you mind going to a conference room?”) but if it’s everyone around you and you’re the new person, that’s not likely to solve it.

It might be worth experimenting with what you’re playing in those noise-canceling headphones — if you tried music before, try white or pink noise now, and vice versa. (The comment section on this post has a lot of suggestions of specifics to try.) Otherwise, you may need to hope that in time you get used to working with conversation around you and that you’ll be able to tune it out. That does happen for some people — look at reporters who write on deadline in crowded open news rooms! — although I suspect not for everyone. (Although it’s actually easier if there’s so much conversation around you that it can become one big blur; it’s harder when you’re hearing just one conversation.)

4. Do I need letters of recommendation from my high school teachers?

I don’t know if you’ve answered something like this before, but I’m sending this in on my friend’s behalf. We graduated high school about a year ago, and we’re both in college. Recently, her parents have been hounding her about collecting letters of recommendation from high school teachers. We are both confused at their fixation on receiving letters of recommendation from old teachers without need. What could be a possible application of letters of recommendation from your old high school teachers? They presumably want her to obtain them in order help with searching for a job, but are they even useful as references when looking for a job that will require listed references? Do interviewers even take letters of recommendation anymore? The situation is baffling to the both of us.

Yeah, you’re not going to need those.

First, you’re right: the vast majority of employers don’t want letters of recommendation anymore; they want to actually speak to references so they can ask their own questions. (There are some exceptions to this, like academia and law, but those are exceptions.) Second, references from high school teachers are going to be of really limited value regardless. Managers from part-time jobs, if you have them, will be better.

That said, with the types of jobs you’re applying to as a college freshman, it’s possible that letters of recommendation could have some limited value just because you don’t really have “references” in the traditional sense at this point and really, when you’re hiring people without much work experience, there’s such limited data that it’s all a bit of a crapshoot. But you absolutely do not need to be out there collecting letters, definitely not with the fervor your friend’s parents are approaching it with.

It would be one thing if your friend was looking for a reference and her parents said “what about your newspaper advisor from high school who liked you so much?” … but hounding her to do it just as a general rule falls pretty squarely in the category of “don’t take job search advice from your parents.”

5. How did phone interviews work before email and cell phones?

Yesterday, I telling a friend about how my organization only started doing any kind of phone screen about six months ago and how before that, they just brought a bunch of folks in for interviews. My friend said “why?!” My theory is that it was the result of never updating process, that back in the day, before people had cell phones, hiring managers probably couldn’t reach applicants during work hours. I don’t imagine people could use their work phones. Perhaps they could schedule phone screens in which they called applicants at home, but not everyone would be able to make that work. So then we got to thinking about how one would schedule a phone screen (or even an in-person interview). We had email by the time we graduated college, which seems like it probably really helped with hiring processes. I guess before that, one could leave a message for an applicant at home and they could call from a pay phone during work hours … but what about before answering machines? Did scheduling an (in-person) interview require writing letters back and forth?

This conversation occurred on the occasion of my 39th birthday, which means that I am more often on the “you don’t understand how things were” side of conversations these days. But now I am very eager to learn about hiring processes in years predating answering machines. I would love to hear about it through the lens of AAM reader experiences!

Interesting! I’m six years older than you, which means that when I was first entering the work world email was just starting to become a commonplace thing and it definitely wasn’t something that had become a standard part of hiring correspondence. And I can barely recall how we did it, although I do remember applying for jobs by fax (!) and setting up interviews by phone. And I bet that you’re right about your theories about phone interviews — the logistics would have been a lot trickier.

People of the right age whose memories have not abandoned you: How did this work?