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#also 'one problem I see is that you spelled company wrong. yes. it has an M in it. right. put an M there. an M. like Monkey. M'
rabbiteclair · 6 months
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do other fields have this thing where 80% of people who are, in theory, mid-career experienced professionals are barely capable of performing fairly basic tasks without personalized guidance, or is software development just suffering under the curse of an entire generation being told to go into the field if they want to earn enough money to pay rent
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powdermelonkeg · 5 months
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Ahem.
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Introducing Nanim, heir of House Exeltis of Baldur's Gate
AKA, if Larian isn't going to give us a nonbinary companion, I'm going to make one up myself.
Quick Class details:
Wild Magic Sorcerer with a noble background, half-drow, they/them
Meeting:
In the wreckage of the Nautiloid crash, you find them cornered by three sheep. As you approach, they warn you in a panic to stay back, and the sheep attack. The aforementioned sheep are actually polymorphed Intellect Devourers.
Starting Cantrips:
Minor Illusion
Mage Hand
Shocking Grasp
Ray of Frost
Dancing Lights (drow heritage)
Starting Spells:
Disguise Self
Color Spray
Skills:
History (noble background)
Persuasion (noble background)
Arcana
Religion
Personality:
Starting off by saying they're Lawful Neutral. They grew up nobility with strict rules about when and how to behave and what to do in regards to their Wild Magic surges, so they firmly believe that anyone who is in charge is in charge for a reason, and any rules they set are SET for good reason. You can sway their opinion on this by investigating into the people in charge; for example, initially, they're on the druids' side on the tiefling vs druid conflict, because it's THEIR grove, they're allowed to let in whomever they choose, the refugees are infringing on the rules they set by staying. However, when you find out Kagha's there because Halsin's gone and Kagha's been dealing with the shadows, Nanim's like "wait a minute. You aren't qualified to lead at ALL" and reevaluates their opinion.
They are VERY sheltered as to how the world works. Courtesy of their upbringing.
Very optimistic and charismatic, VERY loyal, and will judge you if you AREN'T loyal to the company you keep. Extremely eager to explore, with little regard to personal safety due to being a Wild Magic bomb all the time. On the more negative side, they're careless, naive, a bit insensitive and pompous due to their status, very impulsive, and hedonistic. They like luxury, they don't believe in challenging rules to help those affected negatively by them, they think they're greater than they are (sorcerous hubris at its finest) and that all their opinions are correct, and they chase novelty like an addiction.
They also zone out. A lot. Like, in the middle of a conversation, a lot. It's often filled with impulsive thoughts that they're sorting into "yes" and "no" piles (examples: "Should I ask Astarion if he's also part drow? If I smack Shadowheart's braid, will she kill me? I want to poke Karlach, just to see if she's REALLY on fire or if it's illusory.") an you can use the tadpole to listen in. Don't get caught!
They're genuinely afraid of confronting their negative traits or admitting they might be wrong about something, in denial about things that don't fit their pre-established idea of themselves. Unintentionally condescending at times. Craves friends and romance both, has no idea how either work (has been to brothels, sure, but hasn't ever had a genuine connection with someone). Likes music, plays the lute. Very vain. 
Approval:
Following pre-set rules (the druids want the refugees out of the grove, the refugees want your help, you refuse to challenge the druids)
Being willing to engage with your surroundings (Eilistraee's sword, the Blood of Lathander, touching the button in Withers' crypt)
Refusing to deal with rule-breakers (the Zhentarim)
Researching/being knowledgeable about religion/history/magic (successful dice rolls)
Staying out of problems that don't concern you (declining to get involved with Ethel vs the brothers)
Taking charge and standing up for your companions (telling the Gur that Astarion's under your protection, standing up for Gale when the others want him to leave, telling Mizora off when she comes to punish Wyll)
Literally anything positive to do with the drow twins at Sharess's Caress
Disapproval:
Defying the order of things (helping the refugees, telling Minthara you'll help her)
Picking the safe route/electing to leave something alone (non-confrontational dialogue choices, abandoning the Blood of Lathander)
Dealing with blatantly bad characters (the Zhentarim, the goblin camp, that paladin that wants to steal the gith egg, Viconia, Balthazaar, Mizora)
Being genuinely dumb (licking the spider, drinking Thisobald Thorm's brew, giving your blood to Araj, waving to Vlaakith, drinking Priestess Gut's potion)
Getting involved with other people's conversations when they didn't ask for you (convincing Rolan's siblings to stay at/leave the grove, interrupting Kagha vs Arabella)
Selling people out (Astarion, Isobel, Shadowheart)
Prying into other people's heads in your party on purpose (Gale, Shadowheart, themself)
Being rude to friendly characters
Being modest and/or humble (downplaying yourself or refusing finer things in life; they want luxury and rewards, damn it!)
Some general, non-personal-quest-related dealbreaker moments (ie, moments where Nanim will permanently leave your party):
Betraying the grove (you have to roll intimidation a few times to avoid this)
The Dark Urge kills a companion on purpose (non-combat, specifically by giving in to the Urges)
Goading Orin into killing whomever she has captive
This is a very long post, so I'll split the Nanim lore into multiple parts (their history, their quest, their romance, etc) and link them here when finished.
Part 2: Nanim's History
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zackcrazyvalentine · 3 years
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I ONLY SENT YOU SIMPING AND BRAINROT SCENARIOS TILL NOW SO HERE I COME WITH AN ANGSTY ONE
what if ever since mc came into twisted wonderland they’ve been slowly absorbing magic ? like their body started to adapt themselves to the logic of these worlds and its just accumulate inside of them
so they’re absorbing magic but the problem is they also absorbs the blot and since they don’t have anything to clear it it just stays stagnant .
life goes on grim’s overblot is over , but then mc fainted .
well i mean who wouldn’t be tired after such battle ? multiple persons have been injured so that isn’t really that worrying right ?
well mc isn’t waking up
one day , one week , and still no sign of mc waking up .
everyone is desperate for them to wake up but nothing works . none of the potions crewel and vil worked , sam’s friends on the other side don’t have any solution , and no matter how many dark spells lilia knows it surely doesn’t help him in any ways. heck crowley even put aside his pride and asked help from rsa’s headmaster
but one day they did wake up , but something wrong . their once bright eyes were replaced by lifeless orbs , as if all the light had been sucked from them .
grim has never so guilty in his life but tried to look on the brighter side of things ! he tell them about how ace and deuce are still as stupid as ever , how riddle went off on floyd again or the way epel mocks vil behind his back when his lessons are too harsh !
but even as he looks so happy , he can’t help but feel this immense void in his heart
“hey henchmen ... when are you coming back ?”
they don’t respond when you talk to them , when you touch them , they just stare into the void .
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Anon..... oh, anon..... WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO MY HEART ?!?!?! 😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
I can tolerate and soak up that good angst of the boys feeling guilty for something that happened to MC......BUT GRIM?!?!?! MY HEART, DID YOU HEAR IT SHATTER?!?!?! 😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
THIS IS ANGST SO MUCH ANGST
[Anon's explanation about MC's state]
-- -- --
MC is like doll now, only breathing and staring into the void. Sometimes, they follow a request or order given by someone.
Heartslabyul's tea parties aren't as merry as they used to be. MC just sits there, staring at their cup, occasionally taking sips when Riddle suggests them to try the warm drink. Ace and Deuce can't even crack a smile in the Prefect's presence, not when they're a hollow husk of their sassy self. Cater and Trey feel uncomfortable crossing stares with MC, they rarely look up from their cup or slice of tart. Deuce, more often than not, finds himself crying at night after the parties
Riddle is trying his best every night, searching through his mother's old books back home for a possible remedy... The pages are wrinkled from the many tears he's shed while reading, heart aching for their friend.
--
Ruggie feels his chores heavier than ever. It's because MC is no longer coming to lend a hand as they used to. The bags under his eyes became more prominent with how late he stays up, looking up at the ceiling as he keeps mourning for MC's lost soul.
Jack is seen more often in his wolf form, howling at the moon... Anything to shed his tears and scream his sorrow out in a less noticeable way. He often struts over to MC while they're sitting outside Ramshackle, and pushes his furry head into their lap and hands, wishing HOPING to one day feel their delicate hands pet him again.
Everyone can see how Leona secludes himself to his room, people have begun comparing him to Idia.... But, unlike what they think, he's not sleeping. On the contrary, he's staying awake, tearing through many books from his homeland about occult magic and resurrection. After all, only someone with enough money would be able to buy such forbidden knowledge.
He won't let his herbivore live on like this, not if his country knows a way to bring them back.
--
Azul could feel himself thread the edge of insanity. Would it kill him to go through a second overblot? ....would that be better than living on without MC's company?
He will search far and wide through all of Wonderland's oceans and lakes, lagoons and swamps, for a Unique Magic holder than can revert back the blot... or time.... He will give his everything away in a contract to have such magic as his
Jade and Floyd can see the deep cracks in Azul, he's turning into an unfit leader.... It would be best for them to take his role
But they don't want to, for their hearts are cracked like his
Floyd is easier to go on rampages, and Jade is so indifferent to the word outside of his hobbies. If it weren't for their collective love for MC, Floyd would have tried hurting them to see if that wakes MC up.
They never felt so empty and unamused
--
Kalim's heart physical aches whenever he sees Grim and MC. He's tried, tried all he could
Singing, dancing, playing music, throwing million parties, hugging them, whispering how much he loves them right on their ear... but nothing
He may not be the smartest, but the white haired boy is perseverant and eager to learn: he spends his days in the alchemy room along with Vil and Crewel, researching the poison that is a magician's blot
Jamil never felt so useless, mind clouded with many "if only" scenarios that make him blame himself for MC's situation
If only he hadn't overblotted, if only he hadn't sent them flying off to the ends of the earth, if only he had noticed the poison clinging to their soul sooner.... If only....
Why didn't he realize the blot developing in their body? It was only natural, after spending so much time in Twisted Wonderland without any buffer for the magical energy on this place
If only he could take their place...
--
Vil never left the alchemy room or Pomefiore's underground laboratory. He spent every day researching how to revert MC's ailments
He only ever left the labs to go into Ramshackle and help the Prefect prepare for the day. Whenever he got to putting on their makeup, Vil can't help but cry at how hollow and dull they look, when they used to be such a warm and radiant soul
Rook was on the same boat, taking his science club duties more serious than ever. He would search in every single ecosystem for any plant, mushroom, hunt down any animal, organ that was needed for even the slightest help for MC
And Epel.... All he could do was scream and punch his pillow, cursing fate and how sick the world is. What did an innocent, magicless person from another world do to deserve this?!
He will often go sit besides MC and carve apples for them, of their favorite flower, their zodiac sign, their favorite animal, and those carvings they loved most of his
...but the fruits will always rot, just like their once beautiful soul
--
Idia, who was already barely seen outside, hides deeper in his room
The internet is a place full of information, knowledge... Forbidden knowledge
The shut-in and his little brother are always monitoring EVERY SINGLE portal on the internet, be it on the surface or deep DEEP down in the depths
But what tortures him the most.... Is his very own room This is the place he mad many memories with MC in, every corner of his room echoes with their laughter and gentle voice Like a ghost haunting him from now until forever
Ortho is left to wonder how fickle a human's soul is, their body so fragile But was this really in their fate? Or was it an unexpected outcome not even destiny could foretell?
"I miss you... I want to play more. Wake up soon, [Name][Surname]-san" A strange wavering in his voice was heard, followed by a knot in his throat.
--
Diasomia dorm is always under a storm cloud, green lightning striking the ground surrounding it
Fae have magic beyond a simple human's comprehension, even more so dark fae There MUST be someone in Valley of Thorns that will heed the Prince's call for aid
"The story of old..." Malleus muttered one night, snapping even the sleep-prone knight into attention. "Calls... for True Love's kiss, after the princess was cursed."
Lilia can feel his heart ache for the young dragon. "These are very different situations, Malleus." Yet the bat utters no words
Sebek understands what his precious Lord is getting to. "I shall ask Grim to leave the door open tomorrow night."
Silver nodded along his fellow guard, "If there is anything we can procure, do not hesitate on asking for it, Malleus-sama"
Vanrouge sighed, "It doesn't hurt to try." "Steady heart, goal clear in mind. Do not waver in your actions, my Prince, hesitation never helps when working with curses."
The disheveled royal finally straightened up, eyes red and puffy from how long he's cried and how little he sleeps. "Sebek, go to Ramshackle. We must try it out... now"
--
Grim dealt with the worst blow
It unsettled him to live with such a different MC. Even the Ghosts were unsettled and hurting from what happened to their friend.
"But I will keep sleeping on your chest, ye hear?! As long as I keep hearing your heartbeat, I will guide you back with my warmth and my blue flames! Just.... just make sure to follow my path, yes?"
"[Name]... we miss you so much... don't leave yet, not yet, not like this..."
"Follow my flames, like I always followed your light... Please?"
-- -- --
My heart was shattered right as I was all happy and giggly about Disney savvy MC stuff.... B O Y, WAS I NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT
SO NOW YOU COME SUFFER WITH ME
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blindbeta · 3 years
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Blind / Low Vision Person’s Review of “Blind” by Rachel DeWoskin and Why Writers Should Not Underestimate the Benefits of a Sensitivity Reader
[Content warnings: spoilers for the book. Ableism. Brief mention of an accident involving eye trauma. Mentions of suicide. Stereotypes about blind people. Also this review, because I focused on the portrayal of blindness, comes across negatively. Please know that I have no hate for the author and might even read another book she wrote. However, I did not like the way this book portrayed blindness and, as difficult as it is, I wanted to be honest in my review.]
I struggled with the title, and I’m not even sure benefits is the appropriate word. What I want to convey here is not Brought to You By Big Sensitivity Reader Company vibes, but more This Book Was Not Good and It Needed a Sensitivity Reader Very Badly vibes.
Blind is about Emma Silver, a high school student who goes blind in a traumatic accident. Here is a good summary and review by a blind person. I listened to the audiobook, which was narrated well. I’ll start by saying this will only be a review of the portrayal of blindness — I’ll try to leave my other opinions out just to keep things focused.
Unfortunately, focusing on just blindness means that it will not make this review more positive, because this book is about a blind girl recovering from going blind. In a way that is both inauthentic and swerves well out of the author’s lane. I say that because, as I hope will become apparent, this book consists of main character Emma being sad about being blind for the majority of the book. The book doesn’t simply have a character who goes blind. That is the main character’s entire arc.
This is a long review. However, I believe it will be invaluable for my readers and anyone who is interested in writing a blind character. Because this book passes most of my minimum standards for writing blind characters and was still lacking due to many factors, including stereotypes. I included many sub-headings so you can find specific topics easily.
Helpful Links
I include these links in the review. I’ll list them here for easy finding.
Here are two reviews of the book by blind readers: one and two.
Here is a video of the author talking about some of research she did for the book.
Here is my post Things I Want to See More Of / Less Of.
Here is my post about writing a blind character adjusting to being blind and being all sad about it when you aren’t blind yourself.
And finally, here is the post I shared that lists misconceptions about blind people.
The Author
The author, Rachel Dewoskin, is not blind. I did as much research as I could, but even if I hadn’t done so before reading the book, it was obvious she wasn’t blind herself. There are too many inaccuracies and offensive moments. This becomes a problem not because her MC was blind, but because she told a blind person’s story and used tropes in ways I think would be better off written by a blind person. If I’m going to read a story like this, I don’t want to read it from the perspective of a person who isn’t blind. When I get into the details of what went wrong, I hope you’ll see why.
Did the author do her research? Yes. The author met with blind people, clearly researched assistive technology and cane skills, and even taught herself contracted Braille. She talks a little about it in this video.
In fact, I wanted to say I am so impressed and grateful this author immersed herself in things like Braille and cane skills. None of my followers have shared that they went to a Lighthouse For the Blind or taught themselves to read Braille or spoken so passionately about why they loved it.
But sometimes research falls short. Or it is simply not enough.
That’s why I’m writing this review. For you writers writing blind characters when you aren’t blind. Because while the author clearly had good intentions, while the author clearly did her research and put in the time to learn and listen in ways I don’t think many of my followers have yet — the book was not authentic enough for me.
This book needed several sensitivity readers. If it had any, I would be surprised.
The Cover
The audiobook seems to have Braille on the cover, but I can’t tell if it is accessible or simply a picture of Braille. The cover features the word Blind in white print on a black background, with what seems to be Braille in rainbow colors that also spell out the title. I’ll reserve judgment here, since I don’t know the answer. If the Braille is tactile, then the cover is fantastic.
In the video I linked, the author seems to be holding the hardcover edition of the book with Braille on the cover. I can’t tell if the Braille is actually tactile or not.
What I Liked About the Book
I wanted to list a few things I liked about the book.
1. The main character is Jewish.
2. Emma has a large family full of well-developed characters and realistic portrayals of various ages. Everyone reacts uniquely to her blindness and I thought these characters were all used well. The scenes with Emma and her older sisters as well as the scenes with her mom were really great.
3. Emma gets therapy for her trauma. She also gets training to use a cane. These are annoyingly rare in stories.
4. As I said, the author clearly did her research. This is obvious when reading the book and In everything I found when researching the author after I finished it. I want to give the author praise here. I thought her explanations of technology Emma uses were the most accurate I have seen so far, both in books and when doing sensitivity reads.
What I Didn’t Like
I will start with this: Emma, after a year of learning to use her cane, is still using a cane inside her own house. After a year. This is not realistic, nor does it seem comfortable at all to use a cane in one’s own home. I don’t know anyone who does this and according to the other reviews, I am not the only one who was surprised by this.
Basically, this story would be okay with some inaccuracies. That’s to be expected. The real issue I had with this book was that it uses tropes the blind community generally hates and that the book is literally about !!! a character going blind and adapting. That’s the story. If you remove the blindness and the trauma, the story falls apart.
The author told a story that was not hers to tell and she did so badly.
If you are confused about why I dislike this, please read this post called Writing Blind Characters Accepting Being Blind When You Aren’t Blind Yourself.
What Did The Author Do Badly?
Trauma and Blindness
The story starts when main character, Emma, goes blind after a fireworks accident. Not only is this cliché, but it also tics one of my boxes in my Things I Want To See Less of post. This author wrote about a character going blind due to a traumatic accident. Link to the post.
In telling a story that was not hers to tell, here are some harmful things in the book:
The author does not do a good job of separating Emma’s trauma from her blindness. To be fair, this is difficult and most people don’t know to go about doing so with purpose. There are a lot of times in the book where the fact that Emma is traumatized leads to her saying a lot of terrible things about blindness and blind people that are never corrected or contradicted in the story. Again, if you are not sure why this is a problem, read the link I shared to my post.
Here are a few times this issue came up:
-Emma develops a habit of rocking, which myself and many reviewers know to attribute to trauma, but it isn’t clear if the author thinks blind people rock, as the stereotype indicates. Is Emma rocking as a trauma response or because she is blind? The book doesn’t make it clear. This is a time where authors need to be clear.
-Emma assumed she will never get a job, be kissed, get married, etc, after going blind.
-Emma yells about being ruined due to her blindness. The first two hours of the audiobook consist of Emma complaining about being blind. She mentions never being able to get a job a few times, assuming she won’t be able to work. While blind people do struggle with employment, this is due to discrimination, lack of transportation, lack of accommodations, lack of community support, and other systemic issues.
-Emma calls herself disfigured.
-Emma states she wanted to die. In another part of the book, when a background character we never met, Claire, completed suicide, Emma wonders if she was so focused on Claire because she wondered if she wanted to kill herself too.
-On the subject of the character, Claire, Emma states: “How easy would being gay be compared to being blind?”
This is especially damaging because some people are blind and gay. It also isn’t fair for Emma to compare them and the systemic issues that are faced by blind people and gay people. Emma not only trivializes homophobia, but also decides being blind is worse. For Emma, being blind is the worst thing ever, which is very isolating to read.
There are times where the fact that Emma is traumatized was not only grouped in with her blindness, but where the author used trauma to write ideas about blindness that are ultimately harmful.
This book, if readers of the blog want to read it, should be a lesson on why separating trauma from blindness is important. Whether that means making clear distinctions in the narrative itself or just not writing about a character going blind after a traumatic accident.
Let’s continue the overall things done badly.
Stereotypes and Tropes About Blind People
1. Rocking —
I have already mentioned the rocking thing above, but to reiterate here, not all blind people rock to orient themselves.
2. Touching Faces —
Emma and another blind character literally feel each other’s faces, one of the most hated tropes for blind people. In another scene, Emma feels another character’s face without asking.
3. Where Are the Audio Descriptions? —
Emma compares her life to a horror movie she couldn’t watch. This is a subtle reinforcement of the idea that blind people don’t watch films or television. The book makes no mention of audio descriptions. I suppose Emma and all the other blind characters simply don’t watch films or shows anymore.
4. Supposedly Fake Service Dogs —
Emma gets a dog that is specifically said to not be a guide dog. Emma brings this dog to restaurants and to school. Emma explains that she can get away with bringing her dog because no one wants to tell the blind kid no. This was, as you may be able to imagine, frustrating to read. Plenty of blind people have been denied access to transportation and buildings with a guide dog that is supposed to be able to travel freely. Emma’s blindness would absolutely not be a big help to her in bringing her dog places where it is not allowed. In showing Emma getting away with bringing her dog into restaurants when he is explicitly not a service dog, the author is contributing to a huge myth that prevents actual service dogs from traveling freely. Yes, this is only a book and it probably isn’t falling into the hands of someone powerful — however, it has probably been picked up by a business owner, a driver for public transport, a teacher, etc.
5. Avoiding words like see and look —
Emma avoids words like see and look. She also gets angry at her friends for using such words. At one point, Emma’s friend says something and Emma snaps, “I can’t see”. This prompts her friend to, according to Emma, never make that mistake again. Toward the end of the book, Emma is still avoiding such words.
Here is a list of misconceptions about blind people. Look at #6.
Here is another review of this book that also touches on this issue. The reviewer states: “The strange thing is that I’ve never known any blind person avoiding the use of words like “see” or “look.” Again, I’d hate for sighted people to read this book and think that blind folk all avoid words with visual associations; in fact, the only blind friends I talk to moan about sighted people avoiding the use of such visual words because they think we’ll be offended!”
6. All Blind People Are Apparently Totally Blind —
At one point in the story, Emma attends a school for the blind. Another character, who I think was Emma’s mother, says that the campus is beautiful. Emma makes this remark: “Why bother making a school for the blind beautiful? It’s lost on everyone anyway.”
Wow, Emma, that was rude. This is another example of where Emma’s pain and anger cause issues for readers. If they take this at face value, they may think that blind people don’t notice or appreciate beauty. More importantly, they might also assume, like Emma, that all blind people can’t see. As I have stated many times on this blog, most blind people have residual vision. Not everyone is totally blind. This is why, like beautiful grounds, schools for the blind also have things like stairs with high contrast.
7. Subtle Use of the Idea That People With Low Vision Should Rather Strain Themselves Than Be Blind —
This one was less obvious for me. However, once I thought about it again, I understood what I was reading in this character. There’s a rather outgoing character named Seb whose personality is very refreshing in this story. Seb attends the school for the blind with Emma. Seb has low vision.
So Seb wants to get a job. Remember how Emma was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get a job now that she is blind?
Instead of showing Seb getting a job to prove that idea wrong, he knows he has to conveniently not mention being blind when he applies, showing up in sunglasses and without a cane. The book states he worries he wouldn’t be able to fill out the application.
Here is what the book states:
[Quote] “He got hired without telling any of the guys who ran the place that he wasn’t sighted; I know because he had confided in me and Dee the week before that he wanted the job—if friend worked there and said they had an opening—but Seb was worried he wouldn’t be able to fill out the application. So he showed up one night before closing time, wearing sunglasses and not carrying a cane, and asked all casually if he could grab and application and bring it back the next day.
And he spent all night filling it and brought it back the next day. He didn’t mention that he was blind or that the application had taken six hours to finish with the help of his sighted brother.” [End quote]
Seb has no obligation to reveal any personal information to them. If he wants to fill out the application on his own time, in a way in which he feels comfortable, that is fine. However, the book implies he thought he would not be hired if they knew he was blind. Rather than talk about the employment discrimination that is such a huge problem for blind people, the book decides to skip over this. And rather than address Emma’s fear-based expectation that she will never get a job, presumably because she doesn’t think blind people can do anything, the book ignores it.
Seb getting a job, especially in this way, does absolutely nothing to assuage Emma’s fears. Or challenge any possible low expectations the readers may have.
Seb fills out the application by himself and it takes six hours. Six. Hours. His brother also helps him eventually and it still takes that long. No one I know, even with intense internalized ableism, would sit there for six hours doing something like that.
Seb should be using a magnifying device or a scanner app. There is tons of technology out there for people with low vision and the author chose to include absolutely none of it in the book. Instead, she chose to show a character struggling for six hours without exploring his reasons for doing so. Does he do this because of internalized ableism? If yes, how can the same character tell Emma the school will get rid of her “Poor Blind Kid bullshit”?
Now, in some families and some cultures, it would be more appropriate for a family member to help. However, the author tells us nothing more about Seb’s culture, his family life, or his motivations. I assume he did not ask for his brother’s help until later, because I can’t fathom why having a family member help from the start would take six hours.
Why is a character doing this in a story that is supposed to be about adjusting to blindness? Clinging to his remaining vision instead of using a few adaptive tools to make things easier on his eyes hardly makes him a good role model for Emma. Why is a character modeling independence in this specific way? In a way that tells Emma that it is better to struggle with a little vision than to be totally blind?
This is reinforced when Emma says some kids, including Seb, pass well. This is something that cannot be given nuance unless it is written by someone who experienced it. Otherwise, the story shows Emma over and over again that being blind is bad. Undesirable. Which is ableist.
Do people struggle with this? Absolutely. Did the author write it well? No.
And Here Are a Few Things That Could Have Been Done Better
In this section, I wanted to go over things I thought could have been done better. They aren’t necessarily harmful, but I wanted to mention them.
Sunglasses
The main character wears sunglasses when she goes out. This is likely because she has a scar she feels self-conscious about, but this is still a big stereotype that the author could have taken more care with.
O&M Issues
So Emma has someone come around to teach her orientation and mobility, which was nice. The author put in her research here as well. However, the instructor leaves after a time, which seems odd. Rather than work with her around her schools or other locations, he decides she has learned all the basics. I received O&M training until university.
Now Let’s Examine The Blind Characters vs Tropes
In this section, I want to go over the biggest tropes in the stories structure, the number of blind characters, and what I normally advise to get around these issues. We’ll see how this advice compares to how the book turned out.
So, the things to look out for are:
-tokenism
-blind characters going blind through trauma
-blind characters being sad about being blind
Examining Tokenism
Emma is not the only blind character. The blind characters include: Emma, Sebastian, Dee, and Annabelle. I normally say to have one other blind character at minimum. The book meets that requirement.
Examining Blind Characters Going Blind Through Trauma
I also normally suggest avoiding characters going blind through trauma, especially main characters. If the writer would like to go ahead with this, I normally suggest 2 or 3 other blind characters who didn’t go blind through trauma. With 2 as the minimum. I admit, I prefer the main character not to be the one going blind through trauma, simply because the main character has so much power in the perception of the reader.
Let us examine each character.
Emma - went blind through a traumatic fireworks accident
Sebastian- unknown
Dee - unknown
Annabelle- went blind through Retinitis Pigmentosa
On the topic of Dee and Seb, Emma does mention they may have better hearing, which she claims you only have if you lose your sight before the age of ten. We can guess that Dee and Seb both went blind in early childhood or were born blind, but we aren’t sure. What I want here is explicit confirmation that other characters didn’t go blind through accidents. We only get that with Annabelle and her RP.
Not only that, but the other blind characters are not in the novel as much. Annabelle only shows up at the end, seemingly as a way for Emma to help another recently blind person to show how she has developed. Seb and Dee are only in a few chapters, mostly as flashbacks. They don’t get much backstory or development either.
However, it fills my minimum requirements, so I’ll let it pass.
Examining Blind Characters Being Sad About Being Blind
This is literally Emma throughout the entire book. Until the last few chapters.
Annabelle has a similar, shorter arc, although she is only 9 at the time. Annabelle comes in near the end of the book.
It is normal for people to need an adjustment period, particularly if they are young. However, to have the entire book consist of Emma being sad and having trauma focused mostly on her blindness is not something I’m okay with. Especially because, as I wrote in this post, it can leave non-blind readers with a very negative impression of blindness. Again, why would I want to read about this arc from an author who isn’t blind? Why make the entire book about adjusting to blindness?
Anyway, then we have Seb and Dee.
There characters were refreshing in this story, which is mostly Emma being sad and angry.
Dee doesn’t seem to be sad, but we don’t know much about her. She does seem well adjusted and laidback. She and Seb go skiing, so that’s something.
Sebastian gets a little more attention in the story. He does tell Emma the school for the blind will knock the “BPK bullshit” or “Poor Blind Kid bullshit” right out of her. I thought it was funny. Sebastian also has a big personality and interests outside of moping about being blind. He enjoys skiing and, according to Emma, he would have no problem with presenting on the Lighthouse For the Blind in front of people who aren’t blind, unlike Emma, who struggles with calling attention to her blindness. Which I can understand, what with the awkward questions her sighted classmates give her.
However, Seb also has an issue with hiding or fighting against his low vision in some parts of the story. If Sebastian were the main character, I could understand some of the things he does. However, this does not go well at all with Emma’s arc.
Anyway, Seb and Dee don’t get nearly enough time in the book for me to feel 100% comfortable using them as exceptions.
How Would a Sensitivity Reader Help?
If I were doing a sensitivity read for this book, I would suggest including more about Seb and Dee and the school for the blind. I would have explained that the way the story sidelines them shows Emma is not okay associating with her blind friends. I would have asked for more backstory, more contrast between them and the main character, and possibly a few more blind characters Emma met at the school for the blind.
If the writer was insistent on having Emma go blind in an accident, I would have suggested reducing the time she spent depressed and shifting the focus from her blindness to her traumatic accident. I would have had the author work harder to separate the two, even if it took Emma a while to do so. I would have also suggested reducing Emma’s remarks or have them called out. For example, her comments about not being able to get a job or beautiful schools being lost on blind people. Sebastian would have been excellent in this role.
I would have worked with her to either get rid of or subvert the list of stereotypes. Most of them are easy fixes.
I would have told her blind people don’t use canes in their houses. I would have given suggestions for assistive technology for Seb to use. I would have helped her with the section on trauma and blindness, reducing or erasing a lot of the issues I included there. I would have suggested giving Emma an arc that isn’t entirely about adjusting to blindness, even if her story starts with going blind.
I probably would have seemed nicer about my feedback because the author still had opportunity to make changes.
The author could have done more research on stereotypes and cane usage, but I think there is an important lesson here about the benefits of sensitivity readers.
In the end, a sensitivity reader would have fixed most of the problems in this story, despite the amount of research the author did. Research cannot always teach you everything and that is where a sensually or authenticity reader comes in. Moreover, there is a certain respect in involving communities you are representing. In paying them in money or exposure. In listening to their voices and respecting what they say. If the author was willing to learn Braille and sit with blind people to learn about canes and technology, why did she stop at getting sensitivity readers? Why does it feel like she didn’t want to include the blind community in any meaningful way?
I hope this helps someone.
-BlindBeta
252 notes · View notes
nashibirne · 3 years
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Gimme Shelter - 7
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Here it is, the last chapter of Gimme Shelter. It took me a while to write it, I kinda had a hard time to let Kat and Henry go... I'm going to miss them. I hope you like the ending I chose for these two. If so, please let me know by leaving a comment, reblog or like. Feedback is much appreciated. 💜
Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)
Words: ~ 4.5 k
Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 7: An important conversation, a celebration and lots of love.
You can find the previous chapters and my other fics on my masterlist!
Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues, smut, sex (p in v), vanilla, unprotected sex, nsfw, 18+, fluff
UNBETA'ED! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…
I got a little help with a certain paragraph, thank you so much @sillyrabbit81 for your advice and your support. Love ya 💕
Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly
Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill or anyone who's related to him in any way, this is pure fiction and a lot of wishful thinking.
Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019
Let the grand finale begin....
***********
"There's no need to be nervous, Kat."
Henry gave her a smile before taking a sip of his coffee.
They were sitting at their gate, waiting to board the plane that was going to fly them to Jersey.
"I know", Kat sighed, shaking her head slowly, "but I still am. I haven't seen your family in years, there will be so many people I don't know…"
"And they will love you. Look, Kitty, today is gonna be relaxed. You'll meet my parents, my brothers and their families and that's it. Just a casual dinner. Tomorrow there will be the celebration and I promise you it's gonna be great. My folks know how to party," he winked at her with a grin, "and on Sunday everyone except for my parents will be gone and we have a whole week to relax and just enjoy the island and our time together. Okay?"
"Okay," she smiled at him and took a bite of the muffin she had bought at one of the airport cafes, "I'll try to relax. Just distract me, tell me something... anything."
"That's the text for Instagram. The open letter to my fans and followers."
"Well, actually there's really something I want to talk to you about", Henry said reluctantly. He grabbed his phone and opened his google docs. "I need your opinion on this." He gave her his mobile.
Kat saw that the display showed a long text. "What's that?"
"I see," Kat chewed on her lip, looking him in the eyes, "and you want me to proofread it?"
"I want to know what you think about it."
"Alright. Let's see."
She stared at the words on the screen with a beating heart. Henry had been working on this statement quite a while now and she knew it would include his plans for the future. They had talked about different scenarios but she didn't know what he'd finally decided to do with his life and his work. She was curious but at the same time she was scared because many of these scenarios meant that he was going to leave St. Ives and her life. She took a deep breath and started to read.
The statement was deep and of unabashed openness. The way Henry described what he had gone through in the past year was very touching and she had to fight back tears several times. Relief flooded her when she read that he was asking his fans to give him a little more time to reorientate and that he intended to remain in the background for a little longer, stating that he was very happy at the sanctuary he had found and that good friends had given him shelter. What left her completely amazed was the last paragraph.
"Kal is going to take over your Instagram?"
Henry grinned sheepishly.
"Yeah. For a while. I think it's a good solution. I'm going to post pictures of him with captions that let people know what I'm doing without giving up my privacy until I'm ready to return and face the public again. It's my way of letting my fans be a part of my life although I'm not really present. I want to share what I'm up to but not the way I used to do it. I want to do more than promotion and I want to be more than a thirst trap, Kitty."
"You're much more than that, Hen", she took his hands in hers, looking at him with a frown, "so much more."
He gave her a grateful smile.
"I know that but many people don't and that's my own fault. The way I've presented myself on social media was very one-sided in the last year and it will be interesting to find out how many of my 17 Mio followers still like me when all they'll get to see in the next weeks is my dog. The ones that remain are the ones that count and in the future I want them to see who I am and what's important to me. I have picked three topics I want to concentrate on. First: conversation and protection of species in cooperation with Durrell. Second: mental health, focusing on problems men often face. I want to found a charitable trust that helps and supports men with mental health issues and that raises awareness of that topic. Thirdly: Fitness, because it's such an important part of my life. I want to show how good moving can make you feel but I also want to show the risks of overdoing it and that even very fit people can still have body issues and how I deal with these issues myself."
"First of all I think the statement you want to post is great. It's so sincere and you open up so much... It's a risk because you expose yourself but I think people will appreciate your honesty and I'm sure many can identify with what you've been through. And your plans sound fantastic, Henry. I know how important these topics are to you and you're going to be a great ambassador for all of this because it's authentic. This is you, people will notice and appreciate that." She couldn't help but give him a spontaneous hug. "God, Henry, I'm so happy for you."
Henry let out a sigh and shrugged, looking at Kat with an expression full of doubt and insecurity.
"What do you think?"
He hugged her back, pulling her into a tight embrace. "That's such a relief, Kat. I was worried it might sound stupid."
"Not a bit! It sounds perfect. But what about work? Do you already know where to go with your job?"
He took a deep breath.
"Yes. I want to return to filming but I want to leave my comfort zone a bit and try to get different kinds of roles. I'll have to talk to my agent and hope that he can find some interesting projects for me. I also thought about going on the stage again. Back to the roots, maybe I will find a theater that is willing to give me a chance. But that's just an idea, I'm open to anything. I just know for sure that I love my job. I want to be an actor and I'm ready to work again."
"And you will work again. I'm sure. Are you going to tell your family about your plans?"
"Sure. It will be a great relief for them to see that I'm back on track."
"Of course. It's a relief for me too."
"I know…"
They were interrupted by the announcement that boarding was about to start and so they got on the plane, heading to Jersey with a pretty good feeling.
****
36 hours later Kat was still feeling pretty good. The garden party was in full swing and she really enjoyed the jolly atmosphere, the food, the drinks and most of all Henry's company. His family had given her a very warm welcome and so she had a very good time. The garden was beautifully decorated and lit by countless torches, candles and chinese lanterns. A local band was playing cover songs on a little stage and a clown was entertaining the children.
It was almost midnight when Henry turned to her with a smile.
"Time for the big surprise."
"Can't wait. You've been such a mystery-monger lately."
"I know, but you'll soon know why."
"Well, you want to surprise your mum. Isn't that the reason?" Kat was visibly confused and Henry gave her one of his perfectly imperfect winks.
"My mum and...you. Maybe?"
He went away with a grin and left Kat with a beating heart. What kind of surprise could he possibly have for her? On his mother's birthday? She smoothened out her plain black dress with a nervous gesture before she followed Henry with her eyes, her arms resting on the cocktail table right in front of the stage. When he grabbed the microphone, Kat assumed he wanted to hold a speech, maybe telling his family and friends about his future plans but when he turned to the band leader for a whispered exchange she knew there was more to it. Henry nodded at each of the band members and Kat could tell he was nervous by his body language.
"Hello everyone," his deep voice echoed through the speakers, "I'm sorry to interrupt, I know everyone is having a great time and don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with a speech, but I still have prepared a little something. A surprise."
He flashed a bright smile at his mother, ignoring the teasing cheers and whistles coming from his brothers.
"Mum, I racked my brain over a special present for weeks. What would make you happy? What would surprise you? Eventually I had this idea I knew you'd love but that really got me out of my comfort zone. I worked hard on it and I hope you and everybody else will like the result." Henry cleared his throat with a sheepish smile.
"Come on man, spill it." That was Henry's younger brother Charlie and Kat couldn't help but chuckle when his older brother Simon joined in.
"Yeah, Hen, the suspense is killing us."
Henry shook his head, laughing and Marianne Cavill shushed her sons with an amused smile.
"Okay, well... I'm going to sing for you."
"Oh please, spare us. You can't sing." Charlie again, he'd always been a cheeky guy and obviously he hadn't changed a bit. Henry laughed out loud, pointing his finger at Charles.
"Right, brother, that's why I took lessons. I spent many, many hours at our neighbour's who is a vocal coach. Kat is my witness."
All eyes turned on her now and she couldn't give them much more than a shrug, a nod and a smile to confirm his words. She wasn't able to say anything, but her mind was racing. He had been taking singing lessons with Mel, who had been a music teacher and vocal coach before her marriage. The revelation hit her hard and unexpected, flooding her with relief and a hint of shame. She had been so suspicious all this time without a reason. Nothing had been going on between Hen and Mel, nothing inappropriate, nothing intimate. He had been telling the truth.
Henry's voice interrupted her thoughts and she took a deep breath, turning her attention to what was happening on stage.
The band started to play and Kat immediately recognized the song, Green, Green Grass of Home, and when Henry began to sing she was completely captivated by his full, warm and dark voice. He did great up there and it didn't take people long to pull out lighters and smartphones to wave them in the air to the slow rhythm of the song, creating a sea of lights that illuminated the garden.
"Well...I better get started before I chicken out and change my mind." He nodded at the band with a grateful smile.
"We only had the chance to rehearse two times so please be lenient with me. Thanks guys for playing along and allowing me to take over... Anyway, I've prepared three songs. Enjoy."
Kat looked at Mrs Cavill, no, at Marianne -it still felt strange to call her by her first name- and she was beaming, tears of pride and joy sparkling in her eyes. Kat was incredibly happy and proud too, it just felt so good to see Henry perform, completely at ease with himself, confident and charming as ever.
The next song seemed to be some kind of family hymn. After only a few lines of Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline everybody was singing along, even the kids, and Kat joined in, soaking up the jolly atmosphere and the good mood that was so infectious. Henry obviously had a great time too. He was smiling all over his face and it made Kat glad to see him so relaxed and happy. Before he began singing the last song, he spoke softly into the microphone.
"The next one is for everyone who's in love. Grab your loved ones and get on the dancefloor, it's time for slow-dancing", and after a little pause he added, "this one's for you, Kat."
I know that you've been hurt before
He looked her straight in the eyes and his words sent shivers down her spine. She noticed the curious glances people gave her and she knew she was blushing but she did her best to pretend to be cool, calm and collected, taking a sip of her red wine. When the music set in, Kat easily recognized the song. It was a slow version -Henry's version- of a Curtis Stigers song and she already loved it after the first few words. She knew the lyrics by heart and thinking about them awoke the butterflies in her belly.
Happy couples filled the dancefloor looking lovingly at each other, dancing slowly to the music. Henry's full voice was perfect for the song and he kept looking at Kat. Their eyes were locked and to her it felt like no one else was around, like Henry was singing just for her.
But that won't happen anymore, no no
Just give your heart to me
And I'll guard it with my life
I don't know what I'd do
Baby, without you
His words found their way right into her heart and for the first time in 22 years she felt ready to finally let go of the past, to completely trust him again, to believe him and to forgive him.
You're all that matters to me
The ground that you walk
The air that you breathe
Someday you'll discover
I don't want no other, believe me
You're all that matters, baby
All that matters to me
She realized that a teardrop was rolling down her cheek and she wiped it away hastily. Concern was showing in Henry's eyes when he saw that she was crying but the smile she gave him showed him it was a tear of joy and relief flooded him. He couldn't wait to finish the song now, couldn't wait to dance with Kat, to hold her in his arms.
Loud applause followed his performance, accompanied by calls for an encore that he declined politely with a shy smile. Henry made sure to tell the band to continue with some ballads and after receiving some very tight hugs and kisses from his extremely happy and proud mother he finally joined Kat at their table.
"Fancy a dance?" He offered her his hand with a charming smirk.
She nodded and took his hand, following him to the dance floor where he pulled her close. They swayed slowly to "You Are The Sunshine of my life" for a while without saying anything, content with just looking at each other, before Kat broke the silence.
"You were great up there."
"You liked it?"
"I loved it, Hen. You have a wonderful voice. Mel seems to be a good coach." Kat gave him a sheepish smile.
"Yeah, she is. Once she'd realized that I wasn't interested in more than singing lessons she was very professional and pretty strict."
Henry grinned at her, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was supposed to be a surprise and I wanted you to trust me." He shrugged, giving her a tender smile.
"And I didn't. I let you down. I was such an idiot, Henry. I should have believed you, I am so sor…"
"No, Kitty, please... don't apologize, okay?" He looked at her with a frown, seriousness showing in his eyes. "You had every right to be mistrustful, I understand that. Just tell me that you think you will be able to trust me again some day."
"I already do. I…"
They bumped into another couple and it wasn't the first time. The dance floor was crowded and everyone was keen on congratulating Henry on his performance. It felt like every single party guest was watching them.
"Wanna leave?"
"Yes," Kat nodded with a smile.
****
"It's so peaceful, isn't it?"
"It is. It's beautiful." Kat squeezed Henry's hand before resting her head against his shoulder. They were walking down the beach along the dark shore, that was romantically enlightened by a bright full moon hand, in hand. The sea was calm, just giving off its soothing sounds and a cool breeze that made Kat shiver. Henry took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"Thanks", Kat said with a smile, "not only for the jacket but for bringing me here and for this wonderful night."
"Did you enjoy the party?"
"Of course, it was so much fun and I loved your performance. Especially the third song."
Henry stopped walking and turned to her, taking both of her hands in his, looking her deep in the eyes.
"Every single word was true, Kat. I meant it. I'd never hurt you again. You're really all that matters to me. I know you find it hard to believe me, but…"
"I believe you," Kat cut in, "I felt it. I feel it now."
Henry stared at her. "You do?"
"Fuck, yes, I do!" Kat threw her head back, laughing out loud, feeling incredibly happy and light-hearted all of the sudden. "And I feel the same, Hen. Exactly the same."
She cupped his face with her hands and did what she had been longing to do for so long. She kissed him. It was a gentle kiss, almost shy and when Henry felt her mouth on his, her soft lips united with his, skin on skin, no tongue, just tenderness and love, he was beyond happy and savoured every single second.
When Kat pulled away reluctantly he rested his forehead against hers taking a deep breath.
"I feel like 17 again", he whispered.
Kat laughed softly at his words. "So do I. It feels great."
The next kiss started off just like the previous one, innocent and sweet, but when Henry pulled Kat close to deepen the kiss all the bottled-up sexual tension and energy, all the suppressed passion and desire of more than 20 years erupted and they started to make out hungrily, starving for love and intimacy. After a while things really heated up and Henry was the one to put the brakes on when Kat started to fumble with his fly.
"If you don't want me to take you right here we better take it to the bedroom, Kitty", Henry sighed, his voice thick with arousal and desire.
"Well, I've never done it on the beach…", Kat smirked, biting her lower lip.
"Seriously? Here?" Henry took a look around checking if the coast was clear.
"I was joking, Hen. I hate having sand in every pore." Kat nudged him with a grin. "Just take me home."
They made it to the cottage in record time and started to undress each other right in the little hallway, kissing and fumbling like teenagers. While Kat was unzipping Henry's trousers, he was unsuccessfully trying to open her bra.
"Front clasp, Hen", Kat explained to him breathlessly.
"Fuck", Henry chuckled, "I swear I'm not gonna be that clueless once I'll have you naked."
"Good," she answered with a lewd smile, stripping off her bra when he'd finally managed to open it, standing in front of him in just her panties.
"God, you're beautiful, Kitty." Henry let his eyes wander all over her body while stepping out of his pants. He took off his socks and now he was facing her naked too, except for his briefs.
"You don't look so bad yourself, pop."
She grabbed him by the hem of his underwear, pulling him close for another kiss. Kat gasped when he lifted her up effortlessly, wrapping her legs around his waist, feeling his hard-on pressing against her wet panties. She moaned into his mouth when he moved his hips, dry humping her teasingly. Henry carried Kat to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. He stripped off her pants before he did the same with his and when they finally were both naked he climbed on top of her, looking her deep in the eyes, before kissing her again. It was a long, slow kiss and Kat let her fingers run over his back till they reached his butt. She squeezed his ass and pulled him close, sighing with lust when Henry started to kiss her tits and to suck her nipples. She reached between her legs and grabbed his dick that was pretty impressive, giving it a few strokes that made him moan loudly.
"Fuck, Kat...I need you…I need to feel you...now."
She brought the tip of his cock to her entrance, bucking her hips, inviting him in.
"Take me. I'm yours, Henry."
"Are you on birth control?"
"I am, don't worry. Just go for it. Please."
Her words weren't more than a hoarse whisper but Henry heard them crystal clear. He moaned again when he realized that it was finally going to happen. He was about to make love to Kat and it was like a dream come true. A hot, sexy, wet dream and he couldn't help but feel a little nervous. He penetrated Kat slowly, gently, enjoying the moment that marked the beginning of their first time.
"God, Hen…", Kat moaned softly as he stretched her pussy, kneading his ass and lifting her hips to meet him halfway, "you feel great."
"I love you, Henry," she whispered before she came with a loud moan. She arched her back and Henry felt the shiver that ran through her body and the contraction of her pussy that tightened around his cock. The feelings that flooded him were more than Henry could take and he cried her name out loud when he got off, releasing an enormous amount of cum and the thought of filling her up like this made him thrust into her cunt hard and deep one last time. "Fuck...Kitty." He collapsed on top of her, gasping and panting, holding her tight, pressing a kiss on her lips. Henry looked her in the eyes with a loving smile.
He started to move slowly once he filled her completely, looking her in the eyes. It was impossible to turn back time. He wasn't her first, she wasn't his first but he still intended to make their first time together feel special, he didn't want to fuck her mindless, he wanted to make tender love to her. He thrusted a little faster and deeper now and Kat followed his rhythm, her gaze resting on his face. They shared another sensual kiss, moving in sync for a wonderful long time, prolonging the intimate moment as much as possible, enjoying the sensation of closeness, their bodies and souls connected.
Henry's moans got louder, turning into raspy grunts which was a great turn on for Kat, who was a panting mess. Breathing heavily she was getting closer to cumming with every thrust that hit her cervix, with every stroke, brushing against her g-spot, with his lower body pressing and rubbing against her clit. She watched Henry, who had his head bent back now, eyes half closed, his upper body propped up on his elbows that were placed left and right of her torso. She wrapped her legs around him, making him go even deeper before she grabbed his head and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. They locked eyes and his gaze was full of tenderness, his pupils tinted black and filled with lust.
"I love you too, Kat."
A few minutes later they were lying side by side, holding hands, their faces turned to each other.
"We should have done that 22 years ago."
Henry grinned at Kat, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
"I doubt it would have been so good. Teenage Kat was very self-conscious and a little prude and I guess teenage Henry wasn't a pro at handling this weapon right from the start." Kat touched his dick and gave him a teasing wink that made Henry chuckle.
"Right. We've come a long way. It just feels like we've wasted so much time...all these years."
"We can't change that, Hen", Kat said, "but we can make the most of the time that's still to come. Let's just be happy together from now on. Let's spend as much time together as possible, let's have lots and lots of fucking great sex, let's have fun, let's share our joys and sorrows, let's share our lives."
****
Epilogue
Two years later.
Kat sat at her desk in her office with a happy smile on her face. Mr. Darcy was sleeping on her lap and she held a letter in her hands. Bringing it close to her nose she took a deep breath, smelling Henry's scent, his tangy, musky cologne. It was a habit they had established in the last years. Whenever Henry and Kat were separated for more than a few days they sent each other love letters. Handwritten in ink, the exclusive, handmade writing paper perfumed with their odours, the lines filled with their love. The letters usually weren't long, most of the time they shared just short poems or simply a few sentences about how their days had been without each other. It was their old fashioned way of showing their affection and of staying in touch in addition to their conversations via phone or facetime.
"A letter from daddy", Kat whispered, stroking her round belly tenderly. Eight weeks to go until they would welcome their first child and a little more than half a year until their wedding. "Let's see what it's saying."
Kat opened the letter carefully and pulled out the thick paper to unfold it.
"My darling Kitty,
Only three days to go until I finally can take you in my arms again. I can't wait to kiss your lips and your belly to greet you and our little bean. I don't have much time, you know how tight my schedule is, but I needed to write down this poem for you. It would make a great wedding vow, don't you think? Just read it and let me know how you feel about it when I'm back.
"Mouthful Of Forevers
I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin.
Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you.
And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane."
Isn't it perfect for us?
by Clementine von Radics
I love you!
Forever yours,
Henry"
***********
The End
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phoenixyfriend · 3 years
Note
Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh
Context: Commander Buir in chronological order
YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.
So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.
The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.
So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.
And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.
ANYWAY, ONTO REX
So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.
What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.
(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)
Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:
The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.
(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)
But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:
He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).
She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)
He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator
She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)
So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.
She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.
But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.
What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.
Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.
They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)
Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.
(Morai visits.)
(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)
And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.
Once, they kiss.
They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!
A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.
They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.
They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.
They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.
And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.
...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.
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murusagi · 3 years
Text
[Ambush Meal] A Collaboration with Lord Toma!? Love and Madness of Delicious Meal Ft. Cage Translation
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This is a part of Otomate’s April Fool’s Special Event in which the cast of several of the company’s franchises turn into social media personalities.
Orlok: ...Bonjourno. [Pio House] Episode 1926. Today, we're going to film your favorite series, "Oruru's Ambush☆Delicious Meal Next Door".
In this series, I'm going to make a surprise visit to someone's home and enjoy a meal there.
Nicola: Orlok, can you hear me?
Orlok: Yes. The earphones are working perfectly.
Nicola: Great. I also can see you clearly through this camera.
Gilbert: We better explain the rules to the viewers.
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[Rule No. 1: Oruru must obey any instructions given to him through the earphones.]
[Rule No. 2: Oruru must eat the given food without being picky.]
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[The ones giving instructions in this episode.]
Orlok: I'll do my best.
Direttore: Nice answer. Now then, without further ado, let us ambush our target this time around! Please press the interphone in front of you.
Orlok: ...Clicks.
Ding Dong
Toma: Who is it--oh, if it isn't Orlok from [Pio House]! Did you come here by yourself? What a good boy.
Orlok: Y-Yes…
Dante: ...He's stroking his head.
Nicola: That's Orlok for you. He's quick at gaining someone's favor.
Orlok: Umm… I'm happy to be able to meet Toma from "Love and Madness of Animal Channel".
Toma: Me too. So, what brings you here? Do you want to hang out with me or what?
Orlok: No. Actually…
Toma: I see, so you want to have dinner here. Hmmm… let's see.
Orlok: Huh… A-Am I not allowed to?
Direttore: ...We already made an appointment, right?
Gilbert: Yeah, we should have made it…
Toma: You kind of remind me of Shin, Orlok.
Orlok: R-Really…?
Toma: Yeah. He's like a lil brother to me. ...Right. Can you try me calling me Onii-chan?
Orlok: What?
Toma: I'll let you in if you do. How?
Direttore: That's quite the painful request from someone whom you just met.
Nicola: I understand his feelings, though. "Onii-chan"... It has a nice ring to it.
Dante: I'll give it some thoughts if you want to be called that…?
Nicola: I don't know how to feel if you call me Onii-chan at this age… You think so, right, Direttore?
Direttore: Fufu… I will hate it, for sure. Well, I don't have little brothers? No need to worry about that?
Orlok: U-Umm, so what should I do?
Gilbert: Oops. M'bad. We stopped giving you instructions. ...Do as he said. We can't go on with the filming if he doesn't let us in.
Orlok: Okay.
...To-Toma Onii-chan.
Toma: Hm? Sorry, your voice is so small I couldn't hear it. Can you say it again?
Dante: He definitely heard it!
Nicola: Orlok, one more time!
Orlok: Toma Onii-chan…!
Toma: ...Nice. This feels satisfying for some reason. That guy will never call me that, after all. Alright, come in.
Orlok: I… I feel like I lost something important… In any case, I'm coming in.
Toma: I'm making dinner right now. Wait a bit, 'kay?
Orlok: Y-Yes.
Nicola: Orlok, how's the target doing?
Orlok: U-Uhh…
Toma: Bolognese with lots of minced meat~I feel like an Italian already~♪
Orlok: He's humming… some spells, I think? He's frying something while doing that… Looks very focused.
Dante: I see. It's time for our usual "House Tour" then.
Yang: Go to his closet.
Orlok: ...What!?
Nicola: Hm? You're up, Yang? Too bad. I wish you wouldn't wake up for eternity.
Yang: You sure are messing around with me, filming while I was sleeping. 5 billion women are crying right now.
Dante: 5 billion…!?
Yang: In any case, off you go to the closet, Orlok. Let's uncover the true nature of our targ--What are you all…?
Knocks.
Orlok: H-Huh? I can't hear you guys all of sudden...
Gilbert: ...Orlok, can you hear us?
Nicola: Don't mind us and just go on, Orlok. Yang is currently reflecting.
Orlok: O… Okay. So, I don't need to go to the closet?
Dante: Unfortunately, you must obey any instructions that have already been given to you. Let's head there while Toma is cooking.
Orlok: A-Alright.
***
Orlok: ...I found the closet.
Gilbert: Looks normal to me.
Nicola: Hey, Direttore? You've been quiet for a while. Come on, say something interesting.
Direttore: ...Ridiculous.
Dante: Where did all his tension from before go!?
Gilbert: H-Hey, you okay? Is your stomach hurt or something?
Direttore: ...I'm not interested in peeking into someone else's room.
Nicola: Hey, your real self is starting to show, you know? Be careful.
Direttore: ...Oops. I sincerely apologize for the mistake, letting out my honest opinions like that.
Orlok: ...I found the closet. It doesn't look suspicious.
Nicola: Where should we go next? He lives in a one-room apartment so there's nothing to look at.
Orlok: The balcony, maybe?
Gilbert: Nice idea. Let's take a look. Maybe he has a kitchen garden or something.
Orlok: Then, I'll open the curtain…
Opens.
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Orlok: ...This is…
Dante: ...A cage.
Nicola: A cage.
Direttore: That's undoubtedly a cage.
Dante: This must be… the cage he uses for "Love and Madness of Animal Channel", right?
Orlok: To observe the animals…?
Gilbert: Y-Yea. Let's just think it that way.
Nicola: But any animals who could go into this cage… For example…
Direttore: Human beings.
All: …….
Nicola: ...Let's just pretend we do not see it.
Dante: I-I agree. My capo's intuition tells me this isn't something you can touch carelessly.
Orlok: Y-Yes. I'll close the curtain.
Closes.
Toma: …..
Orlok: !!?
Toma: ...Did you see?
Orlok: I-I didn't…
Toma: Really?
Orlok: (gulps)
Toma: Fine. Follow me, I just finished cooking.
Orlok: O-Okay.
Toma: I could only make this much.
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Orlok: Whoa… Amazing.
Gilbert: How could he make this many in such a short amount of time!?
Dante: Now that I look at it again, what are those strange ingredients!?
Toma: You're in your growth period, right, Orlok? Eat a lot.
Orlok: Tha-Thank you. But is it really okay for me to eat this much…?
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Toma: This is Latium's famous Volcano Bocca, a soup containing shrimps, shellfish and vegetables. You can warm up your body with this.
Direttore: Latium… I feel like I heard about it somewhere.
Orlok: I'm digging in...ugh!
Dante: A-Are you okay!? Did he put in poison or--!?
Orlok: S-Spicy… But it has such deep flavors…
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Toma: These are steamed crab dumplings, dobin-mushi, and fried sesames. I used the vegetables from Kaga, queen crabs and barracuda stocks.
Orlok: T-These are great too! It tastes like something a pro chef makes.
Nicola: I get him. They look like the high-quality food you receive at the inns around Kanazawa.
Gilbert: That's an awfully detailed comment you have there.
Dante: Where is Kanazawa, anyway…?
Nicola: A place with the best onsen around.
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Toma: I also have a cake. I heard your birthday is on April 23? Mine is on April 12. Since our birthdays fall on the same month, I made it for celebration.
Orlok: T-Thank you… Hehe… I'm happy…
Dante: …
Direttore: What is wrong, signore? Are you jealous he got sweets?
Dante: W-Why would I…!? I-I-I just think the appearance gets my taste buds tingling…!
Nicola: Endure it for a while. I'll buy you gelato after this.
Gilbert: Anyway, how come Toma knows Orlok's birthday?
Nicola: ...Now that you mention it…
Dante: …
Direttore: Let's put that aside. It's better to keep that a secret.
Orlok: (munch munch)
Toma: How? Is it tasty?
Orlok: Yeah. ...It makes me happy.
Dante: I don't know how to explain it but seeing Orlok eat makes me feel peaceful…
Nicola: I get you. Seeing Gilbert and Yang eat doesn't make me this happy. It's not heart-warming at all.
Gilbert: Yang aside, why do you have to connect it to me?
Yang: For crying out loud, don't put me and Redford on the same shoes.
Nicola: ...Oh? I'm sure I already locked you up. You broke out already?
Yang: Of course. After receiving such a warm welcome, I should give my thanks…
Gilbert: S-Stop it, Yang! Don't pull out your blade!
Dante: You too, Nicola! Put your gun away! We're still filming!
Direttore: Oh… What a scandalous dispute. It pains my heart.
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[We are experiencing poor reception issues. Please enjoy this beautiful view of Sakura.]
Orlok: Thanks for the food.
Direttore: What a good boy. He ate them all without leaving anything.
Toma: Amazing, you ate them all by yourself. I was planning to put the leftovers into a container so you can share it with the others.
Gilbert: I wanted to try some after seeing so many interesting foods like those.
Orlok: So-Sorry. All of them were delicious so I just…
Dante: It's all right. Finishing them off is part of the rules so you didn't do anything wrong.
Nicola: Great job, Orlok. We have enough footage with this.
Orlok: Thanks for today, Toma. I'll be going now.
Toma: Ah, wait a minute. I actually have a request for you.
Orlok: ?
Toma: I still need more footage for my channel, can you help me with that?
Gilbert: Well, why not? He helped us wrap up the filming without any troubles.
Dante: We should return the favor.
Orlok: Okay. I'd like to help if there's anything I can do.
Toma: Great to hear that. Now--.
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Can you get into the cage?
Orlok: ….Huh? ...What?
Toma: I've been keeping my eyes on you. Since you look like a small animal, it’s just perfect.
Gilbert: I see, so it's come to this…
Toma: I figured you'll be lonely so I put some plushies inside.
Orlok: T-That's not the problem here…
Toma: Now, now. You can't tell unless you try. Get in there.
Orlok: I don't want to--.
Toma: Only you can do this, Orlok. Please.
Orlok: ….
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Toma: Can you look here? ...Yes, nice. It'll gain more viewers, I'm sure.
Orlok: Can I… get out of here already?
Toma: No, you just got in here. Oh, right. I have some chains. Can you put them on?
Dante: Even chains… This is abnormal…
Orlok: U-Uuuhhh… Guys, what should I do…?
Nicola: You'll be fine, Orlok. It surprisingly suits you.
Direttore: I agree. I'm sure there are people who are into this kind of thing.
Orlok: ...I'm not fine at all…
Toma: It's not as cute as hamster, but there's a huge demand for something like this. Do you mind if I turn it into a series if it gets good feedback?
Orlok: !!?
Toma: I think we were meant to meet. Shin would scold me again if he were here, though.
Orlok: I want to go home…
Toma: Hm? You want to meet him? He's off for another recording right now, so he probably won't return for a while.
Orlok: ….
...I realized something. I shouldn't trust others. The only one I could rely on is myself…
Toma: Haha. That's a nice expression you have there. With that said, it all depends on you guys whether I should make this a series or not. Don't forget to subscribe to our channel!
T/L Notes:  Dobin-mushi: Food steam-boiled in an earthenware teapot
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chaoticallygray · 3 years
Note
Hi! How are you? Can I request a oneshot about Leopold from the Irregulars? Like that they get into some sort of an argument and the reader storms out, Leo chases after them and accidentally confesses? It's fine if you don't want to do it.
Requested by: Anon!
Hi!! I'm good I hope you're good too! Wasnt sure what gender or pronouns you wanted so I tried to stay general. Might have gone a bit overboard but go big or go home right?? I hope you like it anon even though I feel like I strayed a bit
It had been another day of running with the gang and solving another case given to them by Watson. It was also another day where Y/N felt utterly useless. It wasn't an entirely new feeling for them but with the added cases it felt like everyone had a part to play. Spike made sure everyone got along and always lighened up the room, Jesse had that whole psychic thing going on with her, Billy was the muscle, Bea was the leader and always had a plan, Leo was the brains, and Y/N was just... there. Y/N tried to help but was always told to stand aside. It never really seemed apparent that Y/N didn't do anything necessary to help on cases (not for a lack of trying) until earlier that day.
---
Leo, Y/N, and surprisingly Billy were tasked to find information on any and every poison that could be found in London as two women and a man had suddenly died in their homes and were all found with a note in their hands saying that the clock is ticking.
They'd been trying to solve this case for two days now and getting antsy. They were stuck.
"I'm going to go over there and see what I can find. I'm thinking they could have been injected something or someone poisoned their food." Leo said already grabbing three different books from the shelves and mumbling to himself.
Billy and Y/N looked at each other and shrugged. They were used to Leo being this odd when it came to books. It was his thing.
Heading in a different direction than Billy, Y/N started brainstorming letting their hand glide through some books until a book about botany caught her eye. Whenever Y/N could have more than an hour alone they liked to read. It's not really a secret but they have never mentioned it to the others especially now that Leo joined. He was so much smarter than Y/N and that was precisely what made him catch Y/N's attention when they were first introduced on the case with the missing babies.
Shaking their head and smiling fondly at the memory Y/N sighed. There was no way Leo would ever look twice at them. They weren't going to even entertain the thought. There was a case to solve.
Opening the book, Y/N realized that they had read this one before which was why it probably caught their eye in the first place. Closing it and going to place it back where it belonged Y/N remembered having read about a plant capable of causing respiratory problems and stopping the heart of anyone that touched it for merey a second. Quickly trying to find the page on the plant Y/N ran back to where Leo was looking like a madman with fifteen different books open around him.
"Leo!" Y/N exclaimed and then dropped their voice to a whisper remembering where they were with a blush.
"I think I've found it" Y/N whispered to Leo who wasnt paying attention.
"Yeah Y/N go ask Billy to read it for you. This is important" Leo said waving around a hand in dismissal not really listening to Y/N.
"What? No Leo I think I found what they were poisoned with." Y/N said confused by what he said about finding Billy.
"Y/N don't be ridiculous. Can you stop? I really need to find this" Leo said not even sparing Y/N a glance just continued flipping through different books.
"But Leo..." Y/N started protesting but was caught off by Leo slamming a book closed.
"Y/N stop it! I need silence to think and you going about whatever it is you think you found isn't helping. You never actually help us solve the cases so can you do me a favour and go look at a book with pictures or something while I find the poison and we can all get a decent nights sleep?" Leo told Y/N without even thinking about how he just basically called the one person who is always there for him and the one person he has been heavily crushing on since they met, useless.
Immediately standing up to apologize he didn't get the chance as Y/N whose lip was already trembling slammed the book they had in their hands onto Leo's chest where he already knew he was going to bruise but at this point he thought he deserved worse for hurting Y/N like that.
Running out of the room Y/N nearly collided with a confused Billy.
"Y/N? What's wrong?" Billy asked but was promptly ignored.
Billy looked back to Leo who had a kicked puppy look to him shocked at what he had said.
Shaking his head at Leo, Billy went outside to try to find one of his best friends with no such luck.
Y/N was already long gone.
---
Falling asleep miserable yet with no tears was something Y/N was not a stranger to. It had been happening too frequently now and at this point they're exhausted.
Y/N didn't go back to the cellar that day. Whenever they needed space to breathe and just br they always go to a surprisingly very empy not so much of an alleyway near the docks. There is a small nook int he corner where Y/N can sleep peacefully without unwanted company. For safety reasons Y/N only told Spike about this place in case the gang needed Y/N for something. So far, they hadn't.
It was precisely here that Leo found Y/N the next day. He had immediately wanted to run off after them but Billy told him to give them space. When Y/N didn't go back to the cellar that night well after the case was solved, Leo got concerned and started overthinking. He couldn't sleep and all he could think about was how he messed up. He was scared that Y/N didn't want to be friends anymore. Yes, he dreams about being more but he rather be friends than have nothing.
The next day when the rest woke up Leo was still sitting near the cellar doors waiting for Y/N to come back. He looked as though someone punched both his eyes.
"Mate why don't you go to sleep? Y/N will be back" Spike said trying to reassure him.
"I can't. I need to apologize. I didn't mean it I was just stressed." Leo said looking up at Spike, who had a hand on his shoulder, with wet and red eyes.
"Look mate, I'm only telling you this because I've seen you two. You're great together and the best thing is you don't realize you both like each other" Spike said sighing and then told Leo where Y/N was probably at.
Quickly thanking Spike, Leo wasted no time and ran as fast as he could out of the cellar doors on his way to make things right.
Arriving at the docks, Leo went to the left and tried to find the little alleyway Spike told him. Walking as quick as he could with his cane he finally spotted Y/N sitting on top of a wall just looking out at the water.
Stopping at the wall Leo took a second to admire Y/N. The sun was still low in the skyly but it was making Y/N's eyes shine and he had never seen then more serene than in that moment. He wished he could see that everyday and he hated to think that he was the reason why Y/N was upset enough that they didn't feel like they should have gone back to the cellar the day before.
"Are you here to call me useless again or are you just going to stare?" Y/N said without looking over at Leo who was momentarily startled out of his staring spell.
"I'm actually here to apologize." Leo answered.
"Save your breath Leo. You can go back and tell Bea or whoever sent you that I'm fine and I'll go back to the cellar later" Y/N said jumping off from the wall they were sat in and starting to walk away. Leo quickly trying to catch up with his limp.
"No one sent me I-" Leo started but was quickly cut off when Y/N sharply turned around to face him.
"Not surprising since I'm useless." Y/N said to Leo scoffing and turning around once again to continue on their journey with no destination.
"No Y/N listen please" Leo said but Y/N didn't care they just kept walking.
"Y/N" Leo kept trying with no luck.
Getting tired but not willing to stop, Leo tried to speed up but his leg thought that this was the best time to lock up and seize movement and he fell.
Hearing Leo's quick grunt of pain and a slight thud, Y/N turned around and seeing him groaning on the floor trying to get up quickly ran back to help him.
"No, no stop I deserve it." Leo said swatting away Y/N's hands.
Not listening to him Y/N got him in a sitting position. Rolling Leo's pant leg Y/N assessed the situation and didn't think he needed anything more than rest and something cold against his leg. Also less restricting clothes.
"Why are you helping me?" Leo croaked after a minute of looking at Y/N with tears in his eyes from the pain.
Y/N just looked at him and got a small tin from the bag they're always carrying.
Opening the tin and pushing some type of paste on their fingers, Y/N concentrated on applying a light and even coat on Leo's leg hoping the mixture would help soothe the pain.
"You're not useless." Leo said and Y/N hesitated for a second then went back to applying the salve not saying anything.
"I didn't mean what I said. I should have never said that to you. The case was taking so long and my leg was starting to bother me but Billy was there and I didn't want to say anything. I always slow us down. I was angry at myself. At my body and I took it out on the last person I ever wanted to hurt" Leo said closing his eyes willing himself not to cry.
Hearing no response just feeling light careful touches on his leg he continued spilling his thoughts.
"You're so brave and compassionate. You're so so smart and so kind. You always make sure that everyone has eaten and you always somehow know when one of us is having a bad day and you make it your mission to make us smile at least once. You're always polite and make sure to help anyone you see that needs help. You're so selfless Y/N. Always helping everyone and I wish I could help you and treat you like a queen but I'm always hurt and you deserve the world. You deserve someone who isn't afraid to climb a tree with you or even do something as simple as walking all over London. I can't be that and it pains me because I'm so in love with you and I'm so incredibly sorry for hurting you. All you do is help and I called you useless" Leo rambled hoping that Y/N will forgive him not even noticing that he slipped up and told them that he was in love with them.
Sensing that Y/N stopped their movements on his leg Leo opened his eyes thinking that Y/N left him. What he didn't expect was for Y/N to look at him with tears in their eyes.
"You, you're in love with me?" Y/N whispered scared that if they talked louder the moment will have turned out to be a dream.
Widening his eyes Leo finally realized what he said.
"No! I mean yes! I'm in love with you Y/N. I didn't mean to say that! I know you don't feel the same and I know you want someone stronger and not broken like I am but I can't help my feelings. It's ok though I'll leave. I'll leave you alone-" Leo was cut off from his nervous babble when a pair of lips pressed firmly to his.
Hesitantly pulling back from him, Y/N smiled softly at him not caring that they're still on the ground near the docks but needing to say this now.
"I'm in love with you too Leopold" Y/N said and with that Leo didn't care anymore about his leg that strangely enough had stopped hurting when Y/N started applying the salve but he saves that thought for later and focuses on how the person he thought he could never have loves him of all people.
"Are you sure?" Leo said placing both of his hands on Y/N cheeks wiping away a tear that seemed to have escaped from their eyes.
"Yeah I am. I love you" Y/N said looking into his eyes.
"I love you so much" Leo whispered before pulling in Y/N for another kiss.
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btsandvmin · 3 years
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Ask: Reply - 2021.03.25
Time to go through some of your asks! I am glad you seemed to like the new format and I’ll keep it up for now. (If you have any suggestions for improvement feel free to comment.) I got a lot this time and with pretty varying topics, so it took a while for me to write this even if it still seems pretty sloppy. I also got two asks I just answer briefly but didn’t want to include due to the topics. Anyways, let’s get to it. :)
Topics:
Ask 1 - Anon share about shipping Ji/hope and becoming a Vminie Ask 2 - Reasons to ship Vmin and no leaks of a relationship (+ rumors ask) Ask 3 - Stress over my analysis “making people delusional” Ask 4 - Tae/kook and Ji/kook being big ships (+t/k shippers ask) Ask 5 - Not enjoying a bond because of it’s shippers Ask 6 - Vmin videocall while getting make-up. Ask 7 - Vmin shaking hands Ask 8 - Wheesa from Mamamoo Ask 9 - Any wholesome fic recs?
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(I got a few more left, but the post was getting long, so I’ll save them for next time. I promise I’ll answer them in my next ask post.)
Ask 1 - Anon share about shipping Ji/hope and becoming a Vminie
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Hi and thank you for sharing your story, I always find it interesting to read how people found their way to Vmin and in particular if they shipped something else first. Don’t worry about it being long, it was a fun read. :)
I see what you mean with there being “something about Jimin” and I actually think he is so shippable with all BTS members. He truly works so well and is so sweet and cute with all of them. I also think Ji/hope (as many hyung x maknae line ships) is a very underrated ship. And they used to be very big on the fanservice on stage in the early years too so they definitely have some “questionable moments” in that sense as well. 
I think the way Jimin express his love for all his members is amazing and has probably lead to all of them expressing their love a lot more opnely. Think of how Jimin started their tradition of giving gifts for their birthdays for example. Honestly, all BTS ships are good ships but I really think Jimin’s way of being so openly affectionate just makes all his ships very soft and full of love. But yes, more love to Ji/hope please, because they have a lot of great moments. 
It’s interesting how you say you were affected by the platonic label Vmin has. I really think it’s very strong and works very well on a majority of the fandom and on most people that don’t dig a bit deeper and question what Vmin have actually done. That being said, a lot of the surface level things for all ships are great, and I do think you really have to deep dive into a ship to get the more actually questionable moments a lot of the time. And I think with Vmin this hasn’t been done so much, so people might be surprised when they actually do look closer.
I also like how the lipstick moment and the kissing the doll moments made you end up questioning Vmin. For me who has looked at Vmin for so long these were just more examples of things I had already seen, but I am sure many newer fans (just like you did) would react and look twice at these moments. I’ll tell you though, these moments are just barely scratching the surface of questionable things that Vmin have done.
I am glad you like my blog and think the things I say makes sense, though I do want to be clear and say it’s just me guessing and making theories. I am glad they make sense, but I could still be wrong. :P Thank you again for sharing your own story, and I hope you will keep on enjoying Vmin and my blog. <3
Ask 2 - Reasons to ship Vmin and no leaks of a relationship (rumors)
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I mean, I think I have shared my reasons to ship Vmin in pretty much every post I have ever done on this blog. There’s a lot of them after all... But if you haven’t already I would suggest checking out my posts 10 Reasons to ship Vmin and 10 more reasons to ship Vmin. 
I stress the point that Vmin could easily be platonic but simply extremely close all the time as well, so we could definitely be reading too much into things. Of course this goes for all shippers (or rather believers, there is a difference after all). I suspect your question might not be about shipping but rather if Vmin could be real and what reasons I might have to think that is possible. You can check my post Shipping vs Believing if you want to know how I view things very differently when it comes to simply shipping and anything that goes beyond shipping).
As for what makes Vmin stand out as more likely compared to other ships I guess the main things I take into account are: The songs, Vmin being careful (including friendzoning and other members’ reactions to them), their sometimes contradicting behavior (like them being soulmates but seemingly being awkward with some things or not being together as much as we might expect etc.), the way they do some very romantic looking things and have increased those behaviors over time and then just a lot of interesting moments and their close relationship in general. Also, soulmates is not a label to underestimate.
As for leaks I think you have to ask the same question for all idols, and all relationships. I mean, how many leaks of any BTS relationship have we gotten? I don’t think the guys have lived in celibate for their whole careers. Not to mention a lot of idols date secretly, and for LGBT+ idols I am sure they would be even more careful. But at the same time people also would likely be less suspicious unless they do something very obvious. I mean, think of all the things we have seen BTS do openly. I also think we have to remember that if it’s something that the fans doesn’t want to know or believe it also is less likely to get spread. For example that an idol they love would be LGBT+... because heteronormativity and homophobia is not to be taken lightly either. I also think you underestimate how many secrets insiders in all entertainment industries are keeping. I am sure many idols are pretty open with their dating to many, but it doesn’t get spread because there is a risk with being the whistle blower as well. Perhaps in particular with exposing someone’s sexuality which could ruin their whole career... And any person trying to ruin BTS’s reputation at this point might honestly get lynched by all of Korea.
I also know some rumors (not about sexuality) even gets pushed away as spread by antis etc. So sometimes even when rumors leak they get shut down. In the end there are a lot of rumors floating around, many that contradict each other as well, but I don’t think lack of rumors has to mean it is impossible for it to be happening. Again, many in the LGBT+ community aren’t even out to their own family and manages to hide that... We don’t know enough about how two members in a relationship would be or how open they would be to begin with. I suspect in the case of Vmin they would be very careful and only a select few would know. 
There could also be leaks, but they don’t reach the mainstream fandom. Like how I learned about the problems and disbandment talk back in the summer of 2018. Some things definitely do get leaked, but it is also very difficult to know if they are real or not until confirmed.
But I do think if a couple is real and they are pretty open with it, eventually they would either be in an obvious glass closet or there would be rumors or even confirmation. Because if a couple isn’t careful to begin with then they clearly risk exposure and likely wouldn’t mind too much to be outed.
It’s definitely a complicated topic, and a whole world we as fans don’t know enough about to even come to any real conclusions. So don’t worry about not knowing, it’s not like we as outsider can easily know how things work as they are likely even different for each company, group, couple, individual etc.
I also want to adress one ask I got but won’t include, about a particular sasaeng rumor ((part of ask: there was news going around by saesung (idk if I spelled it right sorry)...)). I only have two things to say, because I don’t want to spread any of these rumors or want any of you to look for these things.
1. Rumors are rumors, we have no idea what sources they come from and many times they also contradict each other. Often they can be spread by antis of some kind with an agenda to hurt or worry. It’s better to simply pay them no attention most of the time.
2. If the rumors are ridiculous in nature, as the one you asked about, it’s even better to not spread it further. In this case it would go against the personalities of the members and against their own words. It would mean BTS lied to us straight to our faces about something there is no reason to lie about, and thus doesn’t have any reason to happen to begin with. Be open of course, but also think critically. Don’t worry in vain, just try to ignore stuff like this.
Ask 3 - Stress over my analysis “making people delusional”
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Thank you a lot @phantomavenger​, your message really soothes me. This is a dilemma I’ve struggled with a lot over the years actually. If sharing stuff and theories about Vmin might not be good, no matter if I am right or wrong. Because if Vmin are together I am basically working to exposing them against their will and if I am wrong I might be a factor in people believing in something that isn’t real, which might end up hurting them. 
I usually end up thinking that maybe it’s better for things to come from me with a more nuanced take than that someone else finds it and it spreads in a more uncontrolled and delusional way right away. If that makes sense? I know this might sound very conceited, but since I know my words are being spread I at least hope to make people understand the importance of not jumping to conclusions and sounding too sure of anything we don’t really know. Again, a lot of ships have believers, and that says something. We should all be careful both for our own sake and for the privacy of the boys. Normalizing delusional behavior is what usually leads to worse and worse things being done “in the name of the ship” as well and I just don’t want that from Vminies. The trickle down effect of people misunderstanding or twisting my words is also a bit scary.  There are also so many shipper at this point that I think most things I point out will eventually likely be pointed out or noticed by someone else anyway, so...
But you are right, I can’t take responsibility for people taking my things out of context or getting convinced even though I try to tell them not to. In the end I write analysis on Vmin because I don’t think anything I find is enough to actually prove anything (this goes for all ships btw). I’ll share my analysis and with it I will also have many reasons on why shipping real people and “knowing a ship is real” is so much more difficult than many seem to think. 
Here’s a sneak peak in case anyone is interested. 
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Don’t worry, I’ll try to edit it and make it more concise. Thank you again for your kind words and reassurance. :)
Ask 4 - Tae/kook and Ji/kook being big ships
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Hi, and wecome to the fandom! I hope you will enjoy being an ARMY and keep liking Vmin. :3
I answered recently about big ships (Ask: Reply - 2021.03.18 Ask 3 - What makes a ship big?) and I’ve talked about popularity regarding these certain ships before as well in Why do you think Vmin get so brozoned by the fandom?
First I would like to say that “vibes” to me doesn’t really say much... All shippers clearly have their own perception of the members and their dynamics, otherwise everyone would ship the same thing. That being said I think projecting is part of many shippers’ reasons to ship and definitely think it’s part in why JK ships in general are very popular. Not just within BTS but for straight ships as well.
I don’t think there is ever one simple reason for why someone ships something, and same for why they might think a pair is actually together. Me might all have our own reasons for why we like a certain ship. For me all ships in BTS have good enough chemistry and dynamics to be shipped and I don’t think there is anything weird with those ships being popular. Especially since they’ve basically been popular since the start for their own reasons and then simply kept growing.
In short I think these things might play a big part in why some ships get bigger than others:
1. Projecting and falling for a ship similar to your own preference in a relationship 2. Amount of moments, and type of moments. 3. Type of relationship and the fandom view. Some dynamics will draw people in more even if it’s only percieved dynamics and stereotyping. Sexual tension and complicated drama is more “fun” than “friends to lovers” trope. 4. How popular they are. Big ships will grow bigger faster. More exposure and material by fans might make people find big ships easier. 5. Room for analysis. Honestly, if a ship seems “complicated” it might be more interesting to dig deeper into. So when people see analysis of ji/kook or tae/kook they get interested and might get more involved. Basically if analysis are being made it will make people more invested, and for Vmin it’s not that people can’t analyze them, but rather that not many have. So you won’t find as many fans deep diving and looking harder at Vmin compared to many other ships.
Again, ships might be popular for many different reasons, but I don’t think size of a ship really is that important. Just ship and let others ship what they like as well.
I also want to briefly adress an ask I got but that I won’t post, because I got yet another ask about Tae/kook. I’m sorry I won’t include the ask but I definitely agree with your comment to “Look at V as an individual person, not part of a ship”. This should be obvious and apply for all shippers. 
But I do want to say that I don’t think shipping a particular pair is the problem, it’s how you do it. I personally see no problem with shipping anything as long as it only is shipping, which is a fantasy. I ship Chen x Baekhyun from EXO and Chen is married... I simply enjoy their dynamic as a fantasy. Just like how I enjoy characters in a book or movie I am aware it isn’t real. I mostly see shipping as a problem when you let it affect how you behave towards people with different opinions or if you push it onto the people themselves which is never ok (even if it would be real). Of course there are many examples of shippers taking things too far, but I don’t think the ship in itself is the problem, but again what those shippers might do. So yeah, I condone any shipper who crosses the line and push things onto the members, but I don’t think shipping in itself is bad.
Ask 5 - Not enjoying a bond because of it’s shippers
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Hi, and first of all I am sorry you are feeling like this. I think sadly this is quite a common problem, and I am not sure I have any good answers for you. But I’ll try. I do recognize this feeling though I have mostly felt it in other fandoms where shippers of “rival” ships got me so annoyed it was difficult to not just see the shippers’ reactions every time they had a moment. Which made it less fun and sometimes hard to enjoy their moments even though I would have usually. What I did in that case was actually stop engaging in the fandom all together for a while, to take a step back as many of my own fellow shippers’ negativity about the other shippers and their theories affected me as well (btw this was a fictional ship so it’s quite different in many ways).
It’s sad when shipping affect us this much, but it can be hard when we invest so much time and get so much enjoyment out of it. I am not sure how bad you feel, but I think when you feel conflicted (possibly cognitive dissonance) when coming across ji/kook content it might have gone a bit too far (I talk about it a bit in this post) and be too attached to the idea of your own ship. If so you might want to consider taking a step back and engage with the fandom less and just focus on enjoying the actual content we get. If you simply react due to shippers and don’t actually care if ji/kook are happy together (or even would be real) I would simply suggest trying to stay away from those people. Sadly over analyzing the members happens a lot and will likely not stop anytime soon. I know it’s not that easy, but I don’t really have any better advice. Try to find places you can be while feeling happy, or take a break if you have to. Distance and time might help at times and I know many people who take breaks from their fandoms when they get too much for them and they get less enjoyment from being part of the community.
For me I did also have a period when looking at Ji/kook made me a bit annoyed or even sad. It was during a period when I was extra sensitive and wasn’t feeling very good so even small things affected me more than they should. But it had less to do with Ji/kook and more to do with consuming very toxic narratives from Ji/kook shippers that basically included Vmin being fake or played up. The idea of Vmin being fake hurts me much more than any other ship being real. Consuming a lot of quite toxic Ji/kook theories made me think Ji/kook being real would equal Vmin being fake and thus seeing Ji/kook hurt a bit.
What worked for me was realizing that this narrative makes no actual sense and there is no point in me worrying about Vmin being fake. And if they would be I know my reaction would simply be to walk away as I wouldn’t enjoy BTS if they lie about things there is no reason to lie about. This took away the feeling of being insecure, and I can be happy with just knowing Vmin are soulmates, no matter what kind. 
I also stopped looking up analysis of other ships and simply keep in mind that even if other ships are real it doesn’t change the bond between Vmin. I know enough about other ships to see their weird moments and to know I shouldn’t be certain about my own ship. I can also see what other shippers might see in a moment on my own at this point, so I do see how seeing moments might make you just think of what theories it might lead to. For me it was about changing my own mindset about other ships vs Vmin and to simply not consume content that was toxic or made me feel bad. Basically, even if Ji/kook or any other ship would be real it wouldn’t bother me as I know what Vmin has is still incredibly special and genuine.
To me this worked, but every person has their own limits. I would suggest backing off from consuming shipping content and simply look at how much the actual content shows the love between the boys. And also if possible try to get with the idea that even if another ship is real, that isn’t neccessarily bad. I would be happy for any ship if it was real at this point as long as they make each other happy, and I don’t feel threatened by other ships because of it.
As for shippers being bad or toxic, sadly with size and confidence it seems to happen a lot. I simply don’t bother with antis or over analyzing shippers of any kind that put very negative narratives on the boys. I know there will always be some bad ones in all bigger fandoms, so I try to not let it affect me too much. In fact I feel more hurt when my own ship communities engage in toxic behavior as that is harder to ignore and walk away from.
Thank you for sharing your struggles and I hope I could help maybe even a little. I know it’s not easy and as you say the guilt is also hard to deal with. I know I might have strayed away from your actual issue, but it’s a very difficult topic for me too. But at least your worry shows you truly do care for the members and don’t want to see them in a negative light. Just try to do what you need to do to feel better, even if it might be hard to do. Also thank you so much for liking my blog. <3
Ask 6 - Vmin videocall while getting make-up.
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I am going to be frank here, this is a moment where fans most likely saw incorrectly and then some still spread it as a Vmin moment. I know people debated about it when it happened and I am sure people still have different opinions on it. But for me since it seems pretty clear the screen corresponds with how Tae moves the phone and takes a picture of himself. I think it was on selfie mode, not that it was a video call. This image I found might be edited because it look very much like Jimin, but it could also be accidental that this screenshot really really looked like him. I know it really looks like Jimin and the paleness of the screen makes it difficult to know... But if you watch the video in it’s original size and quality you see it’s Tae pretty clearly.
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The video is  [BANGTAN BOMB] Jin's Sunglasses Collection in Hong Kong - BTS (방탄소년단). You can watch it around 2.10. Sorry for bursting the bubble. But hey, at least we know Vmin actually do facetime each other despite how much they see each other. :)
Ask 7 - Vmin and shaking hands
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Vmin really are extra with the shaking (and holding/touching) hands, aren’t they? To be fair I think they do this quite a lot with other members as well, but it’s still definitely a Vmin thing. ;)
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As for Brooklyn 99 I have watched clips, but not the full show, so I know who Holt and Kevin are... But I didn’t know they did that. That’s really sweet. Though obviously it sucks they can’t just be like any other couple and would have to make hand shaking their public display of affection (though I suppose it could just be their personalities as well? Like I said I don’t know the show too well.)
Funny but I actually wrote a little drabble Vmin part of something similar at one point... Though it wasn’t about shaking hands but instead fist bumps, as Vmin was doing that a lot at that time. I just find the idea of Vmin making anything normal into something cute and intimate, like an inside joke, very endearing. Thank you for sharing. :)
Ask 8 - Wheesa from Mamamoo
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Thank you for sharing this cute moment. :) I really do like Mamamoo and from the few moments I have seen with them they seem really sweet with each other. Also I love Twit, it’s such a bop! 
Wouldn’t it be amazing if Vmin followed suit and Jimin appears in Tae’s MV for KTH1? :3
Ask 9 - Any wholesome fic recs?
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Hi and thank you for your kind words. :3 English isn’t my native language and I struggle with being articulate sometimes, so your comment makes me really happy. :)
As for fics I am sorry, I have two big fic recs and I feel most of my favorites are included in those. (Huge Vmin fic rec and Vmin fic rec - Canon compliant) I know they don’t have any indications of rating etc. but for now looking through these lists to check if they fit what you like is what I have. If anyone has any particularly wholesome BTS fics to rec feel free to add them in the replies. :) Thank you and sorry for not coming with any actual recs in this reply. 
And that will conclude this post as it was starting to get a little long. :) I do have some asks left, and I’ll try to answer them as soon as I can with my next post. Thank you all for your interesting questions and shared stories. I hope you found this post enjoyable, or at least worth a read, as it included some pretty heavy topics.
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Text
Wicked Game
Part 4 of We Dance Together Now
An O’Knutzy au where Leo and Logan are still playing for the Lions, but Finn is a musician/grad student they met by chance on a roadie to Montreal.
Here are the first few parts!
Part 1 - Jingle Bell Rock
Part 2 - This City
Part 3 - Shut Up and Drive
I also stuck this up on AO3, my username there is the same :)
I struggled a LOT with this chapter. I’m still not sure it’s done what I wanted it to do, but I hope it works. And I hope you like it :) 
I’m suuuuuper excited for the next one, I’ve had it half-written since I started this fic! 
These beautiful characters and their world belong to the incredible @lumosinlove
The songs referenced are My Shot, from Hamilton, and Wicked Game, which has several remixes that could work here, but I was listening to the Yola Recoba version, personally. 
---------------------------------------------------------------
Leo
“Thanks for helping today, Tremz.” Leo leaned against the entry wall and watched Logan slip on his shoes.
“No problem,” Logan looked up at him, his eyes sparkling mischievously, “You needed someone big and strong to carry your boxes up the stairs. Who am I to leave a damsel in distress?” He stood and flexed his biceps.
Leo rolled his eyes and shoved Logan toward the door. He could hear Finn laughing behind him. “Get out.”
Logan looked over his shoulder and grinned. “Your wish is my command, princess.” Leo moved to shove him again, but Logan snatched up his bag and ducked out the door before he could reach him. “You love me!” he yelled as he jogged down the hall. Leo just shook his head at the older boy’s antics and turned the lock behind him before flopping down on the couch with a tired groan.
The three of them had just finished setting up his new room. In Finn’s apartment. Where he lived now. With Finn. He was still wrapping his head around it. It was crazy to think he didn’t have to pack up his stuff and move somewhere else again next week; that he had blankets that hadn’t been slept on by a hundred people before him. Finn was a godsend of a human being.
He was also a walking tornado of a human being, and Leo’s current state of exhaustion was a result of today being a shining example of both of those traits.
Since he’d been living in hotels all year Leo didn’t own any furniture of his own, which meant he had spent his Friday morning going from store to store buying what he needed. Finn had volunteered to drive, and Logan had tagged along too. The two of them had also very kindly volunteered to spend their afternoon helping him build everything. It was very, very nice of them, and Leo had been incredibly grateful for their company, and for their help… at least until they actually started putting things together. It had been funny at first, watching Logan and Finn jump headlong in to building things without taking the time to read the instructions. But the resultant failures had meant that Leo had to unbuild everything they touched, actually read the instructions, and then give them explicit directions on how to put it back together properly. Instead of the few hours Leo had expected to spend on it, the whole thing had taken them until the late evening, and now Leo was exhausted and ready to relax.
He heard Finn wander into the living room after him, and his smiling face appeared over the back of the couch above him. “What’s up, Marigold?”
Leo closed his eyes, trying not to roll them as he let out an exasperated chuckle. “Finn. That is STILL a terrible nickname.”
“It is not.”
“Yes it is. ‘What’s up marigold’ makes no sense. ‘What’s up buttercup’ works because it rhymes.” He opened his eyes back up to emphasize his point. “Marigold does not rhyme. At all.”
Finn just shrugged, pushing himself back up to walk around the couch. “You should have thought of that before you accepted it in the first place.”
“I didn’t accept it! I just gave up trying to argue with you two and- ugh. Never mind.”
“That’s what I thought.” Finn grinned. “Plus, I googled marigolds after that night because I didn’t actually know what they were, and the name suits you.”
“What?” Leo looked at him, curious. “Why?”
Finn’s expression faltered for a second as he lifted Leo’s feet to sit on the other end of the couch. He put them back down in his lap, making Leo’s heart skip a beat. When he spoke again, his voice was a little softer. “Your hair shines like them, in the sun. Golden.”
Leo had to work to keep his face neutral. That was… sweet. And unexpected. Finn was always doing things he didn’t expect.
Before he could think of a response, Finn’s cocky grin was back in place. “Also, calling you marigold makes you grumpy, which, like, never happens, so I’m never giving it up.”
Leo didn’t even try to hide it this time as he rolled his eyes affectionately, lifting his legs and giving Finn a gentle kick with his socked feet. “Whatever,” he laughed. “I’m going to shower. Have you seen that duffel bag Logan brought in? It has all my comfortable clothes.”
Finn just pointed wordlessly to entryway where he and Logan had dumped a few of Leo’s bags, abandoning unpacking them in favour of wreaking utter havoc trying to build his bedroom furniture.
Leo wandered over and grabbed the Lions duffel off the floor, pausing as he lifted it. He didn’t’ remember it being this empty… he unzipped it, suspicious, and sure enough, he found Logan’s training gear inside.
He groaned. “Damn it.”
Finn looked over to him. “What’s wrong?”
“Logan took my bag. This is his stuff.”
“Oh. Shit.” He looked from the bag up to Leo, and then popped up from the couch. “No worries, I have a solution!” he called, jogging toward his bedroom.
Leo, curious yet again, gently put Logan’s bag back down and started to follow. As he reached the corner, Finn popped back out of his room with a pile of clothes in his hands, almost crashing into him as he gave a little squeak.
“Ahh! Oh my god, why are you right there!? You scared the shit out of me. Learn to make noise when you walk.”
Leo chuckled at that, a memory of Logan saying that exact phrase to him the first night they watched Finn play running through his mind. “You and Logan are scarily similar sometimes, you know that?”
“What?” A confused look crossed Finn’s face.
Leo just smiled, and Finn shook his head.
“You know what, never mind. I don’t think I want to know. Here.” He passed Leo a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “You can sleep in these tonight and we’ll get your stuff from Logan tomorrow. They’re both pretty big on me so I’m hoping they’ll fit you properly.”
Leo, taken aback by the gesture, accepted the pile with a surprised but grateful smile. “Oh. Thank you, Finn. You didn’t have to do that.”
Finn shrugged, his wide brown eyes twinkling. “I know where you live. I’ll get them back.”
---
But as Leo pulled the shirt on after his shower, he decided that Finn was not, in fact, getting it back. It was soft. And it smelled like Finn. He breathed in deeply. It was silly, he knew, to cling to this little bit of him- to pretend it was Finn, instead of his clothes, that he was allowed to have. But he was doing it anyway. He could let himself have this little thing. He turned to look in the mirror and let out a surprised snort. “Of course.” He chuckled to himself.
He padded out to the living room, where Fin was still lying on the couch, a book in his hand.
“I thought you were joking about loving the Eagles.” He teased, his mouth quirking up on one side.
Finn sat up and looked over at him, a strange look crossing his face as he took in Leo’s appearance. It was gone before Leo could read into it, replaced with a dramatic showing of mock outrage.
“One does not joke about the Eagles, Leo!” He gestured down at the band logo stretched across Leo’s chest. “That logo is a badge of honour. Wear it with pride.”
Leo just shook his head, amused. “Aye, aye, captain.” He saluted Finn. “Thanks again. I’ll see you in the morning?”
Finn waved goodnight and Leo slipped back into his room, turning off the lights and smiling up at the city lights flickering across the ceiling. His ceiling, now. He chewed on his lip for a second, thinking, before getting back out of bed and walking softly to the living room.
Finn looked up at him when he entered, and whatever Leo had been about to say immediately caught in his throat. The warm lamplight was sending soft shadows across Finn’s features, making his freckles glow against the pale of his skin. He was curled into the corner of the couch, book in his hands and a blanket wrapped around him, and Leo wanted nothing more in that moment than to be there too, cuddled up beside this beautiful boy. His heart pulled in his chest.
He realized he was staring when Finn spoke up and broke the spell. “What’s up, Leo?” his smile was soft, gentle. “Do you need something? Can I get you anything?”
Leo straightened up at that, shaking his head. “No, no. I’m good. Thank you. And I’m sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you, and I won’t keep you, but I just wanted to say thank you. For having me here. You didn’t have to offer up your space, and I appreciate it. It really means a lot.”
Finn closed his book and leaned forward; his expression sincere as he locked eyes with Leo. “I’m just glad you’re happy. You deserve to have a home. I wouldn’t want you to be anywhere else.”
And when Leo went back to his room that night, he fell asleep quickly, breathing in the scent of Finn and, for the first time since he came to this city, finally feeling at home.
---
Finn
The next few months passed by quickly for Finn, everything blurring together in an exhausting but happy mess of work and play. He had thought it would be more of a learning curve, sharing his space with Leo after living alone for the past 4 years- and some days it was a bit weird, remembering that there was another person around and he couldn’t just play guitar at 2am, or work through melodies in the shower when Leo was sleeping- but he wouldn’t change it back for anything.
He’d always known he was insanely lucky to live in the apartment he did (his parents had bought it as an investment property when he first moved to Gryffindor- perks of their jobs in real estate). Very few college students had the privilege of even a single spare room, let alone two, and not worrying about needing roommates to pay rent had saved him from needing to share the space with strangers. But it had been lonely.
Now, when he was finished his long day on campus studying, or working on his music, he actually looked forward to going home- even if it was only to meet up with Leo and leave again. After that first celebration he had gone to with Leo and Logan, it had become routine for them to invite him to join them for any dinners or parties that weren’t team-exclusive. He went to every one that he could and had ended up making some pretty good friends in that crowd. In particular, him and Kasey’s girlfriend Natalie had struck up a fun friendship. She was also a musician, and the two of them had gotten together several times over the past few months just to play.
The boys had also asked him to let them know his gig schedule, and they had been there for every single show they weren’t working during. Finn liked having them there, knowing he would have their company as soon as he got off stage. They always had a drink waiting for him, and they usually found somewhere to go dance for the rest of the evening. Logan was always making fun of how Leo used to hate going out, but they danced together often now, and it was one of Finn’s favourite things.
Any nights they didn’t spend working, or with the team, or at one of Finns gigs, they usually spent together just the three of them, squeezed into a booth at Sid’s or lounging around the living room at Finn and Leo’s, playing video games and watching movies. Him and Leo had made the excellent discovery that Pixar movies almost always made Logan cry, though Logan denied it exceptionally violently every time they called him out. It was worth a pillow to the face to be able to tease him though.
Logan stayed over most of those evenings, in the spare room Finn had started thinking of as his. They’d built another bed for him and everything after Finn had woken up the first night he stayed over and seen how cramped he was on the couch. It wasn’t built for hockey players to sleep on and he didn’t like the idea of Logan being uncomfortable. He wanted everyone to feel at home in his place.
Some days it was just Finn and Leo at home, while Logan spent time with the Dumais family. Finn liked those days too. It was nice, hanging out with Leo one on one. The two of them often used the time to do chores, and he had been pleased to find out that they were much more enjoyable with Leo’s company. Grocery shopping with Leo was one of his favourites, riding the cart like a scooter up and down the aisles while Leo picked out everything they needed for dinner, and grabbing all the snacks that he knew Logan liked, so they could always be there when he came by. And he particularly enjoyed coming home and putting things away while Leo cooked, both of them singing along to the radio as the apartment filled with the smells of Leo’s southern recipes.
On quiet nights, he liked wandering into Leo’s room for company, the two of them laying next to each other on Leo’s giant bed and talking about books. One of the first nights he had done that, he had noticed his own t-shirt, the one he had lent Leo his first night, and that had curiously gone missing shortly after, hanging up on Leo’s closet door. Leo had been flustered, apologizing for snagging it from Finn’s clean laundry, and explaining that it was ‘just really comfortable’. Finn had tried very hard to hide the mini heart attack he was sure he was having at the idea of Leo choosing to wear his clothes, and he must have done an alright job of it because Leo continued to steal it often enough that it had just become another routine thing between them. Finn pretended to make fun of Leo for it, but he really liked it. He had taken to folding it and dropping it into Leo’s laundry basket when he wasn’t looking.
The addition of Leo’s warm presence, and of Logan’s fiery, mischievous energy, had made his big, cold apartment feel like home. There was always something happening, and it was never boring- sometimes to an extreme degree when Logan was around. Finn still had scars on his hand from Leo’s 19th birthday in February, when he had let Logan convince him that baking a cake wouldn’t be as difficult as it sounded (‘people do it all the time Finn, how hard can it possibly be?’). He had been wrong, as they discovered when he flipped what should have been a cooked cake upside down over the counter, and it turned out to be just a pan full of very hot batter that went all over Finn’s hands. It had stuck to him like very, very hot glue and the two of them had gone into full panic mode. Luckily, Leo had chosen that moment to come home from lunch with Remus, and he got everything under control. He had been exasperated, and quite concerned, but Finn liked to think he had appreciated their effort. Plus, Logan had felt guilty about it for weeks afterward, which Finn had initially felt bad about but then had started to take advantage of by (very dramatically) requesting him to do more and more ridiculous favours. Logan had stopped feeling guilty somewhere in between the request to build him an entire pillow fort (so he could heal in utmost comfort), and the request to do an interpretive dance to Ice, Ice, Baby (so he could feel like his burned hands were encased in ice).
When they were out of town for games, Finn missed having them around. Everything felt too… empty. But they were constantly in touch via their group chat, Leo sending videos of the cities they explored after games, and Logan sending pictures of Leo looking affectionately annoyed at Logan for dragging him out of the hotel to go and do said exploring. Those videos often included appearances from other Lions, usually making terrible 3 Musketeers jokes about them. On one memorable occasion, James had popped in to compare them to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward. That one had positively delighted Finn, not least because Logan’s reaction to realizing he was the Squidward in that analogy had been gold. James had had to run.
Finn didn’t blame them for joking about it. He knew it was a bit strange, the way that they had become so inseparable, so fast. But he didn’t mind. When he looked at them in those videos—the wild in Logan’s eyes, the calm in Leo’s— he was reminded of how they pulled out the best of both those sides of his own personality. He never felt more like himself than he did with them. *
---
 Logan
One evening at the end of April, Logan sat sandwiched between Leo and Finn on their living room couch, a steering wheel in his hands. He was deeply focused on steering his car around a particularly dastardly curve when Finn jumped up, knocking Logan’s elbow and sending his character careening off a cliff as he screeched at the TV. “Cheating!! Leo! You’re cheating! Logan! He’s cheating!”
Logan, disgruntled now as he watched himself drop down to last place, just glared up at him. “You knocked me off a cliff. Don’t look at me for sympathy right now.”
Leo just continued playing calmly. “It’s not cheating Finn. I threw a banana at you. If you don’t want to get hit with bananas, don’t drive so close to me.”
“This is insane. Nobody is supposed to be this good at Mario Kart. It’s MARIO KART!” Finn flopped dramatically back down into his spot, groaning. “How have you won every single race?”
“I’m a man of many talents, Finn.”
“This is bullshit.”
Logan snorted, dropping his controller as he crossed the finish line in last place for the 4th time that night. “Says the guy who wins every single round of Halo.”
“Well, if you would stop and think before just picking the biggest bombs and sending your army running headfirst into every battle, maybe you too could win a strategy game.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“You are weirdly good at Halo, Finn.” Leo tossed out. “It’s kind of creepy watching the wheels turn in your head while you play.”
Logan watched, amused, as Finn gasped and glared at Leo in mock offense. “Well then. When the aliens finally invade here and you guys need a team leader to get you through the hordes and into a safe haven, you can find your own general. I’ll be over there helping people who DON’T call me creepy.”
It was Logan’s turn to be offended. “Hey! I didn’t call you creepy.”
Finn considered him for a moment. “Hmm. That’s true.”
He wrapped an arm around Logan’s neck and stuck his tongue out at Leo. “I’ll be over here keeping LOGAN alive, while you get your brains eaten.”
Logan tried to fight back the blush he could feel creeping up his cheeks as Finn’s arm pulled him in. Finn, Logan had discovered, was a very affectionate person, and while his comfort in sharing his personal space had grown on Logan and Leo as well—they were constantly in contact as they shoved together onto the couch—it  still made Logan’s pulse pick up every time he felt them close to him.
Leo snorted out a laugh at Finn’s threat as he put down his controller. “I’ll take my chances.” he replied as he stood and stretched, looking out the window at the setting sun. “It’s getting late. Anybody hungry?”
Logan’s stomach actually grumbled out loud at the mention of food.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Leo laughed as he headed out of the living room.
Logan, somewhat reluctantly, pulled himself out of Finn’s hold and followed Leo into the kitchen, plunking himself down on one of the island barstools as Leo started pulling things out of the fridge. Finn disappeared into his room and came back to sit next to Logan a few seconds later, a book in his hand.
“You want to read?” He looked at Logan questioningly.
Logan just nodded at him as he spun around on his stool, slowly relaxing into his seat as the sound of Finn’s voice took over the kitchen, mingling with the sounds of Leo quietly chopping vegetables at the counter next to them.
A few weeks ago, when Leo and Finn were trying to pull him into an argument about book to movie adaptations, Logan had accidentally let it slip that he had never read The Hobbit. The two of them had been borderline offended, which Logan found hilarious, but it had then led to them asking him about other books, and Logan had been forced to admit that not only had he never read The Hobbit, but he had never read any book for fun.
It wasn’t something he liked to talk about, because he always worried it would make him look stupid, but he hated reading. Having to keep his focus on the page, keeping his hands still as they held the book… he just couldn’t handle it. When Leo and Finn had picked up on the fact that it was a sensitive topic, they had dropped it without asking him any more questions, which he had been grateful for. But the two of them still wanted to show him that stories could be fun outside of movie form, and when it became clear that there was no way in hell Logan was picking up a book himself, Finn had come up with a compromise: he would read a book to him. Logan hadn’t been convinced, but he appreciated the thought and figured he could just tune him out if he got bored, so he agreed.
So Finn had read the first chapter of The Hobbit to him and Leo while Leo cooked that night, and, to his surprise, Logan had found himself completely absorbed. It was kind of like listening to a podcast, but with Finn’s intoxicating voice playing all the parts.
It had become a routine after that—Finn reading to them as Leo cooked, and Leo reading to Finn and Logan as they cleaned up after. They always waited for him to read the next part, and it was one of his favourite parts of being at their apartment now. The combination of the sound of Finn’s voice and the smell of Leo’s cooking, made him feel safe.
That evening, Logan was the first to finish eating, and he leaned his chair back away from the table with a satisfied sigh, reaching over to ruffle Leo’s hair from where he was sitting next to him. “Fuck, Knutty, that was amazing. As always.”
Leo smiled back at him, blonde curls now falling over his eyes in a way that was absolutely not adorable. “Thanks, Tremz. I’m glad you guys liked it.”
Finn made a noise at that. “Liked it? Leo, I have genuinely never eaten better in my entire life than I have since you moved in here.”
Well. That provided Logan an excellent segue into his mission for the evening. He let his chair fall back down and folded his hands on the table in front of him. “If that is true, Finn, then I think that you should do something to pay him back.”
Finn looked up from his plate with a mouth full of pasta, brown eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looked between Logan and an amused looking Leo, who had immediately caught on to what Logan was doing. “Oh?”
“Yes. We have a game next Friday, and you’re invited to come. I think that should suffice as payment.”
“Oohh.” Finn plastered on a very fake smile. “That sounds very… interesting. Let me check my schedule and see what I have going on.”
Logan rolled his eyes at Finn’s feigned interest. He had turned down their offers to come to games repeatedly since they had met.  
“We have your schedule, idiote. We know you don’t have a show OR an exam. And—” Logan decided to move to his next tactic: guilt, “—you have to come this time. It’s a deciding game for the play-offs. If we lose, you won’t be able to watch us play again until next season.”
“I see.” Finn didn’t look convinced.
“Finn!” Logan tossed his balled-up napkin at him, making him laugh. “You are possibly the only person in this city who would turn down offers to come watch NHL games for free. From the box! MULTIPLE TIMES!”
“I cannot possibly be the only person in this entire city who doesn’t follow hockey.”
When neither Leo nor Logan bothered to respond to that, just continuing to look at him, Finn’s grin fell. He looked uncertain now, and his face turned serious as he looked each of them in the eye. “But… you guys know I support you, right? I follow all your scores and your… game… time, point, things, or whatever online. I even bought a hoodie!”
That was true and it had almost killed Logan the first time he had seen Finn in Lion’s colours. It still made his heart beat faster every time he thought of it. Which wasn’t helping him at the present moment.
Finn sighed. “I just think it’s a waste of a ticket for me to go when I have no idea what is happening. I don’t want to embarrass you guys”
Leo interjected then, pointing his fork at Finn. “First of all, you are never embarrassing. Well, usually not – “
“Fair.” Finn admitted.
Leo shot him a look. “—and not about this, for sure. And second, it’s not a waste of a ticket. We all get to invite our family and friends and stuff this game, and neither Logan’s family nor mine are able to make it. And all of our other friends are either on the team or related to them. So, if you don’t use the ticket, nobody will. Plus,” he set his fork down, his voice gentle, “we want you to come.”
Finn’s face softened, and Logan decided now was time to pull out his Hail Mary. “Also,” he waited until Finn looked over to him, “Natalie’s going to be there. And she already asked us if you were going to come this time.”
He bit back a triumphant smirk as Finn perked up at that. He knew they had him now. Finn and Natalie had hit it off really well the moment they met. So well in fact, that he had almost been jealous. But he wasn’t jealous. Because he had nothing to be jealous of. Finn was just a friend. A friend who was currently living rent-free in his mind wearing that goddamn Lions hoodie, but a friend nonetheless.
Finn pushed his empty plate to the middle of the table. “Well.” His eyes sparkled as he folded his arms and looked between them. “You should have led with that.”
---
Finn
One week later, Finn stood against the glass in the team box, cursing himself for agreeing to come to this game. He had never been more stressed in his life, every muscle in his body tense as he watched the puck bounce from player to player in front of Leo’s net. He had a brand-new respect for Leo’s unflappable demeanour. There was no way he could handle being the last stop between the other team and a goal- he was almost having a nervous breakdown just watching. But Leo was in his element: calm, controlled, moving fluidly around his net and mirroring the puck effortlessly. Finn had never seen someone so focused, so intent. When the other team finally took their shot and Leo snatched it out of the air, Finn let out a relieved breath. His heart was going a million miles a minute, just like it had been for the last hour that the game had been tied 1-1. “Oh my god,” he murmured, dropping his face into his hands. “This is so stressful. How do you guys watch this all the time?”
Natalie laughed next to him. “It can be pretty crazy.”
“You look perfectly relaxed.” Finn replied grumpily. It was true. She was much calmer than he was.
“I’m not as calm on the inside. But I have faith in these guys. I know they can win this.” She paused for a second. “It also helps that Kase is benched for this game with his leg. I’m a wreck when he’s in net during important games. Thank God for Leo Knut.”
“Thank God for Leo Knut?” Finn muttered reproachfully in response. His attention was pulled back to the ice as the puck was dropped again, still in their end. “Thank God for Leo Knut my ass, Leo Knut is the reason I might be seeing God soon. I’m going to have a fucking heart attACK! AH!” He shrieked the end of his sentence as one of the Ravenclaw players crashed into Leo, knocking him backwards into a goal post in a way that looked dangerous. His stomach dropped as Leo went down. He shot a panicked look at Natalie. “What the fuck! That can’t be allowed! Is that allowed?!?” He didn’t wait for an answer before looking up at the giant screens above the ice, currently zoomed in on Leo’s determinedly blank face as he slowly pulled his knees back underneath him. He was definitely going to give him a heart attack.
“No.” Natalie looked unhappy. “No, it’s not allowed. But he’s ok, Finn.”
He’s ok. Finn let out a shaky breath. He looked back down to the ice and was watching Leo stand up and reach for a water bottle when, all of a sudden, the crowd started to yell. Confused, he looked back up at the screens. Instead of Leo, there was now a close-up view of Logan, currently with one fist wrapped around the jersey of the player who had slammed into Leo, the other throwing punches.
Finn’s jaw dropped, his heart jumping up to meet it. Logan’s face was fierce. Angry. That energy that always seemed to be coiled around him, simmering just below the surface, was out in full force. His restraints were gone, and holy shit it was beautiful. Seeing those impossibly green eyes flashing dark with passion… it was lighting something on fire inside of Finn.
The other player was half a foot taller than Logan, but Lo had him down on the ice in seconds, spitting angry words in his face as the referees pulled him away. Finn watched Logan skate to the penalty box, swallowing hard as he took in the way his chest was heaving under his jersey. Holy. Fuck.
He felt heat creeping up his neck, and knew his face was going to turn bright red and give him away if he didn’t distract himself immediately. So he forced his attention back down to where the rest of the team was checking on Leo.
Leo. Logan had unleashed in defense of Leo.
Finn felt the now-familiar twist in his chest that sometimes accompanied seeing the two of them together. The feeling that there was something more between them than they were willing to admit.
Thankfully, Natalie mistook the look on his face for concern, and put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “It’s fine Finn, Logan fights all the time. He’s not hurt, he’ll be back on the ice in time to play the last three minutes. And Leo’s already ready to keep playing”
Finn just groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “I am never watching another hockey game again.”
It was supposed to be a joke, but five minutes later Finn watched Logan jump out of the penalty box and take off across the ice, dancing between the other players as he stole the puck and shot toward the net with a searing purpose. And when the goal alarm went off and the entire arena jumped to their feet to celebrate- when Logan was tackled by his teammates, and Leo was skating celebratory circles around his net, and Finn could see the smiles radiating off both of them from where he stood- Finn realized that if he ever wanted to be able to keep his friendships with these boys, it had to be true. Because if he ever watched them play another hockey game again, he would fall in love.
---
“O’Hara, think fast!”
Finn barely had time to register the beer being thrown his way before Leo reached out and snatched it out of the air in front of his chest. “Bliz, how many times do we have to tell you to not throw solid objects at people. Not everybody has your reflexes.”
But Kasey wasn’t listening, already turned around to head back into the living room of Sirius’ house, where they had all convened to celebrate their win. Finn had been grateful for the location- he didn’t think he could handle watching Leo and Logan getting hit on at a club all night tonight. He was still on edge.
Leo rolled his eyes at Kasey’s retreating back and handed the drink to Finn. “I’d wait a second to open that. Sorry, he does this all the time. We’ve had more than one black eye on the team from a drunken Kasey drink bomb.”
Finn chuckled. “No worries. Thanks for the save.”
Leo brightened adorably. “It’s my job!”
“And you are absolutely INCREDIBLE at it my friend!” A pair of arms wrapped around Leo’s neck from behind and a slightly buzzed and very excited James appeared over his shoulder. “MVP of the game, my man! You killed it! We’re going to the play-offs, baby!”
He whooped as he ruffled Leo’s golden hair, still slightly damp from his post-game shower. Leo’s cheeks flushed a deep red as he accepted James’ fist bump. “I just played. Thank you though.”
“And he’s humble too! How are you still single dude? Someone should have scooped you up ages ago.”
Leo’s cheeks somehow turned even deeper red as he shot a quick look up at Finn, and Finn heard Lily’s amused voice as she slid in from behind them, wrapping an arm around James’ waist and pulling him off of Leo. “Leave the poor guy alone James. He just wants to celebrate in peace.”
Leo smiled gratefully at Lily, looking relieved when Kasey and Natalie returned to the kitchen, Talker in tow. Leo jumped into their conversation as the group of them settled in around the room, talking and laughing above the music playing from the built-in speakers. Finn held back for a moment, taking the opportunity to scan the living room from where him and Leo were leaning against the kitchen island. He caught a glimpse of familiar dark curls under a snapback, and Logan’s eyes met his from across the room. Logan grinned, excusing himself from a conversation with Remus and heading towards them.
“Hey,” Logan’s breath was warm on Finn’s cheek as he leaned in to be heard over the voices in the room. “How did you like the game?”
Finn fought to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. He was still reeling from his decidedly unwelcome epiphany earlier that evening, and it was going to be a long night if he couldn’t get a handle on himself soon. He cleared his throat, looking straight ahead instead of turning to meet Logan’s gaze. “It was the most stressful few hours of my entire life. I’m never doing it again.” He winced at the way his voice cracked. Traitorous voice box. “And for the record, you are NOT a ‘perfectly reasonable player’.”
Logan tilted his head back and laughed openly at that. Finn let himself look then. Despite everything, it was nice to see him so relaxed and happy.
“Well, I’m glad you at least came to this one. Even if you judge me.”
He leaned back next to Finn, shoulders brushing, and Finn watched as he scanned the room. A moment later, a glint appeared in shorter boy’s eye, his smile turning mischievous. Finn turned to follow his gaze, looking for what had prompted the change. He caught sight of James, still in his game jersey, and Lily, laughingly trying her best to get him to take it off.
He heard Logan call out to them. “Hey Pots! Did you hear your jerseys are only the third most popular on the Lion’s shop now?”
James froze, turning to them with his eyes wide. “What?”
He rounded on Logan. “Who told you that? Who beat me?” His expression turned to outrage. “Who could possibly have beaten me?!”
Finn held back a laugh at James reaction, letting out a loud cough instead. One that sounded very suspiciously like the word ‘bullshit’. He heard Leo do the exact same beside him and turned to catch his eye with a grin and a high-five. The two of them had made a game over the past few months of seeing who could catch Logan the fastest when he started his game of poking the bear- something that was hilarious to them and endlessly irritating to Logan.
Right on cue, Logan let out an exasperated noise. “Guys! You are no fun! Stop doing that!”
James’ head twisted back and forth between Logan and Finn as he pieced it together. “Wait… what??” He gasped at Logan, looking betrayed. “Tremz! Did you make that up? How could you! You almost gave me a heart attack on this glorious evening!”
Logan shot a mock glare at Leo and Finn, but his face cracked into a grin when he turned back to James. “You should have seen your face.”
James looked like he was about to respond, but at just that moment, a familiar beat started to play over the speakers. Someone in the living room cheered and turned up the volume, and James whooped, throwing his hands in the air. Finn smirked as he followed suit, pushing away from the counter to join him in the middle of the room.
---
Logan
Logan frowned when Finn stepped away from him- he liked feeling his warmth against his side. He watched as Finn moved after James, turning to look back at Logan and grinning as he sang along to the lyrics of the song now playing loudly through the house. Logan loved Finn’s singing voice. He smiled back and was about to go join him when something weird caught his attention, making him do a double take.
It wasn’t unusual for Finn to jump into the middle of a room to give a performance of a song. He did it all the time. At home, at the club, at parties. It was quintessential Finn behaviour.
But now, the entire rest of the room was joining him. Every single one of his friends had abandoned their conversations to chant along with the opening lyrics of this song Logan had never heard before. Logan’s brow furrowed in confusion as he spun around to look behind him. The living room was the same, everyone starting to move away from the walls and stand from the couches. Only Leo had stayed where he was, a few feet away from Logan.
“What the hell?” He muttered.
He turned back around to question Finn, only to find him no longer looking his way. Instead, he was now face to face with Talker in the middle of the room, the two of them rapping dramatically to one another. Logan lifted an eyebrow, letting out a short, surprised laugh as he watched the two of them.
             “I’ma get a scholarship to King’s College,
             I probably shouldn’t brag,
But dag, I amaze and astonish”
The rest of the room was still singing along. It was beyond weird. “What. The fuck. Is happening?” Logan asked nobody in particular.  
The rhythm of the song slowed a bit, and Finn turned back toward Leo and Logan, sliding smoothly over in front of them. His brown eyes sparkled as his gaze locked with Logan’s, singing directly to him.
             “I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal
             Tryin’ to reach my goal, my power of speech, unimpeachable”
Logan leaned closer to Leo, his only ally in this insanity, but Finn had pointed dramatically to the younger boy and Leo laughed, stepping away from the counter and picking up the lyrics from the next line, pointing at himself as he sang:
             “Only nineteen but my mind is older
             These New York City streets get colder, I shoulder
             Every burden, every disadvantage I have learned to manage…”
Logan shot a surprised glare at Leo. Traitor. And now Finn was singing along again, and both of them were pointing at him, waiting for him to pick up the next line but Logan truly, truly had no idea what this was.
Finn looked at him with mock outrage when he realized Logan wasn’t faking his ignorance, straightening his back as he lifted his hands in a very ‘what the heck?’ sort of gesture.
Logan started to roll his eyes, but then all of a sudden, the beat changed again, and Finn’s hands were by his head and he was walking backward, winding his hips in a way that Logan had never seen him move before. A way that should be illegal.
His eyes were still locked on Logan’s, but where they had been filled with humour a moment ago, now they were burning with something intense that was sending Logan into a complete tailspin.
             “I am the AL-EX-AN-D-ER, we are, meant to be.”
His emotions were already running high after their win, and now Finn was standing in front of him, moving like that, looking at him like that. He heard himself let out a shaky breath and snapped his jaw shut, swallowing hard and jerking his eyes away from Finn, desperate for something else to focus on. His gaze landed on Leo, right next to him, which was not better.
Leo. He could see his toned chest through the fitted t-shirt he was wearing, and he wanted to reach out and touch. Fuck.
He could feel all the walls he had built up over the past four months crumbling down around him, and he started to panic. He was supposed to be getting over his feelings for Leo. Not growing them. Not adding Finn into the mix.
His breathing sped up. How was he this gone, for both of them? Was that even possible??
Pull it together Tremblay. He tried to talk himself down. Leo was his teammate. They were both his friends- friends like he had never had before. Those walls were there for a good fucking reason. He didn’t want to risk them.
He took a deep breath in through his nose, straightening his spine and pushing his shoulders back. He could do this. He looked back up and watched as Finn crooked a finger at him, calling him in to dance with them. The same way they always did when they were out together. His face was open and happy again. He just looked like normal Finn now. This was familiar. He could do this. The song kept playing.
             “Hey yo I’m just like my country
             I’m young, scrappy and hungry
             And I’m not throwing away my, shot!”
He took one step closer, and… nope. It would appear he could not, in fact, do this. He couldn’t handle familiar right now. He was buzzed, and high on adrenaline from the game, and this song was in his bones and if he was going to get himself out of this spiral, he needed to be away from the boys that were causing it.
He shook his head at Finn and forced a tight smile, watching him shrug his acceptance and turn to James instead. Logan turned to head over to where Sirius was stood in the corner of the living room, the only other person who looked as bewildered as he was by the scene. He had barely taken a step before a long arm wrapped around his shoulders from behind, pulling in him close to the strong chest he was trying to run away from. He closed his eyes, feeling his body tense as Leo’s low voice sounded in his ear, his skin warm against Logan’s own. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as Leo sang, off-key as usual, in some sort of horrible French accent.
             “I dream of life without a monarchy
             The unrest in France will lead to ‘onarchy?
             Onarchy? How you say, how you, oh, anarchy?
             When I fight I make the other side panicky with my, shot!”
It was hilarious, but feeling Leo this close to him right now, in this moment, was overload. It took everything he had to pull out of Leo’s grasp, grabbing his wrist and spinning underneath him. He stood on his tiptoes to let Leo spin too, and then gently shoved him back toward Finn. He knew Leo would assume he was following, so he turned back to the living room and slid into place next to Sirius.
He stood there, watching Nado and Kuny—how the hell did even Kuny know this song??—singing drunkenly on top of the couch, and tried to will his heart into submission.
After a few moments, Sirius’ voice sounded next to him. “Do you have any idea what this is?”
Logan shook his head, glancing over. “Non. But apparently we should be looking into it.”
Sirius just nodded, looking at him. Logan liked this about Sirius. He was quiet, and he didn’t mind if people were quiet around him. He always seemed to know when Logan needed a minute. He guessed that’s what made him a good captain. Logan felt calmer just being beside him. The two of them stood together in silence for a few minutes, until the whole house broke out into a chorus of ‘whoa’’s, and Sirius glanced over at him again. “You ok?”
“I’ll be better once this fucking song ends. How long is this thing?”
Sirius laughed at that, agreeing, and Logan felt his confidence coming back. He felt safer there, in the corner, watching Finn and Leo from afar. The distance had at least allowed his heart to stop pinging around his chest like a goddamn pinball machine. He was feeling, if not completely back in control, at least much more so than before.
“I’m good, Cap.” He meant it.
Sirius’ eyes were on his. “Ok. You know I’m here though, if you need me.”
“I know.” He shot Sirius a grateful smile. “Thanks, Sirius. Really.”
Sirius nodded, turning away as the song finally ended. Someone switched over to a dance playlist, and the living room turned into a de facto dance floor. Logan and Sirius stayed where they were for another song, until everyone else seemed to be either dancing, or involved in a game of what looked like Spoons at the dining room table. Logan drained the last of his rum and coke and turned to Sirius as he pushed off the wall toward the now empty kitchen. “I’m going to get another drink. You want anything?”
“No thanks. I’m good.” Sirius responded quietly, his expression soft. Logan followed his gaze over to where Loops was dancing with Lily and smiled. He clapped Sirius on the shoulder. “Ok, Cap. Have fun.”
---
A few shots and nearly an hour later, Logan was feeling as close to normal as he figured he would be able to pull off that night, teaching the Hoedown Throwdown choreography to a very enthusiastic Leo and Finn as someone’s country playlist blasted through the house. The team’s excitement for their freshly earned play-off spot had rubbed off on him again over the past hour, and he was enjoying himself, even if he was still a bit on edge.
It only took a few songs for them to ace the dance, and after they killed it to some song about chicken and tractors that Finn had sang every single word to, there was a break in the music while Nat and Talker argued over who got to choose next. They took the opportunity to their breath.
“Well, since we’re waiting anyway, I’m going to go grab another drink.” Finn swiped a hand through his sweat-tousled hair and looked between Logan and Leo. “Do you want anything?”
Leo shook his head, eyes bright against his dance-flushed cheeks. “No thanks. I think I’m done drinking for the night. We have a team meeting early tomorrow I don’t want to be hungover for.”
Logan still had half a drink in his hand, so Finn took off to the kitchen and left the two of them to  discuss who they could drag into their next dance, which Finn had decided for reasons Logan didn’t understand, to try and learn as a square instead of a triangle.
A new song finally started to play as they scanned the room, and as the beat came across the speakers, Logan recognized it with a frustrated groan.
Wicked Games. One of the few songs that he used to have multiple versions of on his playlist. A song that he had had to take off said playlist, because it got him in his head about Finn and Leo.
Of course someone would put this song on right when he had gotten his shit back together. Of fucking course.
He took a long drink from his glass and looked up at Leo, who was still looking around the room for participants. He watched as the colour-changing living room lighting lit up the taller boy’s face: blue, then green, then orange.
“The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you”
Leo glanced over at him, and then did a double take, turning to fully face him. He scanned Logan’s face, eyebrows furrowing as concern flashed through his warm blue eyes. Logan sighed through his nose. Fucking Knutty. He always knew.
“And I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you”
When Logan didn’t make a move to explain anything, Leo just nodded and took a step back.
“You know what?” he started. “Let’s just do it as three. Finn’ll get over it. I don’t want to dance with anyone else right now.”
Logan knew Leo was only saying it for his sake. But he couldn’t be bothered to try and pretend he was down for an audience right now, so he just nodded and stepped into what would be his place in the triangle when Finn came back. Leo turned to assess the space around them, and Logan let himself watch again. He never got sick of looking at Leo. Kind, thoughtful, annoyingly perceptive, beautiful Leo. The lyrics of the song repeated, over and over.
             “No I, don’t wanna fall in love, with you.”
“I think we’re going to need more room. Or someone’s going to get hurt.” Leo mused as he looked at the floor around them, trying to work out the logistics of the coordinated drunk jumping that was going to happen. One of his curls fell over his eyes. Logan resisted the urge to reach up and move it away.
             “What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you”
Logan’s chest twisted and he pulled his gaze away. Fuck this song. He was going to kill Talkie for this. He could feel himself taking a nose-dive back to where he had been earlier that evening. Why couldn’t he shake these feelings tonight? He could always shake them. He was a master at shaking off feelings. This was ridiculous.
He decided to look for something they could push out of the way for more space, to give himself something to focus on. That was a task he could do.
But before he could move, a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, the weight of a full-grown hockey player landing on his back and making him stumble forward. Pots’ voice was teasing in his ear. “Wicked Game is right, hey Tremzy??”
Logan’s breath caught in his throat as he froze in place, half bent over trying to regain his balance. Had Pots noticed? Was he being obvious?
“W-what?” he choked out.
James pulled him up and spun around him until they were face to face, his grin lopsided and his eyes a little glazed from the drinks he had clearly been celebrating with. “Wicked Game! Because you played a wicked game! Get it!? You got us the game winner, Tremz.” He looked wobbly on his feet, smiling dreamily. “You got us to the playoffs.”
Relief flooded Logan’s system. He hadn’t noticed. Nobody noticed. It was fine.
It didn’t feel fine.
“Oh. Ya, I guess.” He forced a little laugh.
“Come, my baby Canadian.” James bowed toward him, extending a hand. “I owe you this dance for getting me one step closer to my baby bathing in the cup.”
“Shut up, Pots.” Logan turned as an annoyed voice sounded behind them. Sirius, the inventor of superstition himself, walked by and smacked James gently upside the head. “Knock on wood. Now.”
“Ow,” James grumbled, rubbing his head and knocking on the doorframe he watched Sirius walk through, “how does he do that? It’s like he has a seventh sense for bad luck.”
Logan prayed James would follow Sirius away. But instead he just grinned and shoved Logan toward the center of the dance floor.
Logan did not want to be there anymore. James had freaked him out, and the stupid song was still playing. For the second time that night he wished he knew where the fucking skip button was located in this ridiculously oversized house.
Logan grabbed James’ arm and pulled him to a stop, leaning into him to prevent him going further. He turned on his best fake smile. “Hey Pots. I know I got the goal, but do you know who you really owe this dance to?”
James looked at him suspiciously. “Who?”
“Leo. We wouldn’t have won without his unreal performance tonight. You should get him first.”
James gasped. “You are right, Tremblay. Ok. I will get him first. But I will be back for you! Don’t move!”
Logan watched James wobble backward across the living room, shooting finger guns back at Logan until he crashed into a very amused-looking Leo.
When Logan figured the two of them were engaged enough to not notice him leaving, he slipped off in search of a quiet place to hang out for a while. He found a dark hallway off the end of the dining room and slid down to sit on the hardwood floor. His hands were shaking again as he pulled out his phone and opened the group chat he had with his sisters.  
He missed his sisters. He hadn’t told them about his feelings for either of the boys—for any boy, really—but he knew that if he messaged them, they would talk him down without prying. And that was what he wanted right now. He shot off a simple, ‘you guys awake?’ message, and waited for the reply.
---
Leo
Leo was wandering around the main floor of Sirius’ house, looking for Logan. He was worried about him. Logan had been on edge all night, keeping his distance and forcing smiles that didn’t reach his eyes. Leo could tell he was trying to hide something, and after catching the way he had looked at Finn in the kitchen earlier, it wasn’t hard to guess what that something was.
He had been watching Logan and Finn dance around each other, figuratively and literally, for months now. It was hard, watching these boys—these boys that made him ache with how each of them had burrowed their way into his soul—watch each other. It made him feel like he was drowning.
He had told himself when he came to Gryffindor that he was here for hockey, that he wasn’t going to get involved with anyone. Get attached to anyone. But here he was, the world’s biggest idiot, falling head over heels for not one, but two of the literal worst possible people to fall for. His home roommate and his travel roommate. Both, to the best of his knowledge, very closeted. Both very interested in someone else. Both very interested in each other. It was a bit of a disaster.
But disaster or not, Leo wasn’t going to let Logan feel like he was alone tonight. He knew firsthand how much support from the people who love you mattered, even if you weren’t ready to talk about it yet.
He poked his head into the kitchen and found Finn, looking deep in conversation with Natalie, but Logan wasn’t with him. He was a bit concerned about Finn, too. He also seemed a bit off this evening, and he never had come back from his last drink break. But Finn was safe with Natalie for now, so Logan was his priority for the moment.
He checked a few more rooms before he caught a glimpse of Logan’s ever-present snapback out of the corner of his eye. He was sitting on the floor in the dark end of an empty hallway, the glow from his phone screen lighting up his face.
Leo moved cautiously toward him, and when he didn’t look up, slid to the floor to sit next to him.
“Hey.” He offered softly.
Logan looked up at him with a small, fleeting smile, his usually bright green eyes looking tired. “Hey.”
Leo scanned his face, trying to decide whether Logan wanted to talk. “What are you up to?”
“Just texting my sisters.”
Leo nodded, understanding, and looked away, giving Logan the chance to go back to his phone if he wanted to. Logan looked back down at the screen and typed out a final message before clicking the screen off and shoving it back in his pocket.
They sat quietly next to each other for a few minutes, just listening to the music. After a while, Logan broke the silence.
“It’s crazy that we’re heading to the playoffs.” He said quietly.
That made Leo smile a bit. He looked back over at Logan. “You played incredible tonight.” He said sincerely. “All season, really. I think we earned it.”
Logan’s lips quirked up a bit at the compliment. “Thanks, Nutty. We really did.”
They fell back into their comfortable silence, sitting shoulder to shoulder and watching what they could see of the dining room down the hall. In the lights of the party, Pots and Sirius were teasing Remus about something they couldn’t hear. Remus blushed a deep red and Sirius laughed as he pulled him in for a kiss.
“We’re really lucky.” Leo said, hoping that Logan knew he wasn’t just talking about the game anymore. When Logan didn’t respond, he looked over to see him pulling at the seams of his jeans, looking like he might be on the verge of tears. The sight pulled at Leo’s chest. He wanted to take Logan’s face in his hands and wipe away that look forever.
But he knew that wasn’t what Logan wanted. So instead he stood, holding out a hand to the shorter boy. He would be here for him in whatever way Logan needed. “You wanna get another drink? Or are you ready to head out?”
Logan looked up at him with reddened eyes, and Leo’s heart felt like it was breaking with every beat. And when Logan put his hand in his and the sparks flooded over his whole body, Leo closed his eyes and willed them away.
---
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sweetescapeartist · 3 years
Text
MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 70 REVIEW
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We learn in the last chapter that the Cerealian Dragon's name is Toronbo when Granolah speaks Namekian. Toronbo grants Granolah's wish but can't make Granolah stronger than the gods.
Here's the confusion I have... Goku is a mortal beyond GoDs so making Granolah the strongest mortal is making him stronger than gods. If you wanna say Beerus has been training and is now stronger than Goku, there's still a problem. It was said that Goku and Vegeta were stronger than some GoDs right before the ToP (but that might be anime only, so maybe it doesn't apply here). So Granolah is stronger than GoDs no matter what. If the gods that Toronbo is speaking of are the Angels, then that means Granolah is Ultra Instinct level of power since Goku is the lowest in Angel tier. But whatever. Bottom line is Granolah is temporarily stronger than Goku who may or may not be stronger than Beerus.
Granolah gets his wish granted and the cost is shortening his life... cool. Not much to say except let's see how its executed.
(I recently read that in DBXV2, during the Infinite History Saga, Videl is enchanted with Towa's Dark Magic spell by Dabura shaving off her life but granting her greater power. So granting power at the cost of lifespan has been done in DB before. Not in canon but in the games.)
Also, Granolah's life being shortened to 3 yrs got me thinking... Currently it's almost AGE 781 in the DBS manga timeline. Goku leaves to train Uub in AGE 784. We got 3 yrs left. The original manga shows Bulma said she hadn't seen Goku in 5 yrs. How I see DBS is that it is an alternate timeline that just happens to have a similar outcome to the EoZ.
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So... why is Vegeta learing from Beerus again if Beerus isn't that strong now? Is Vegeta being like Krillin and continuing his learning from a master weaker than him, but gaining wisdom & knowledge? I-is Vegeta becoming Krillin 2.0?! (More like dollar-store Krillin)
I do think beerus got stronger tho. He seems very confident that Vegeta can get stronger from learning from him. Beerus probably saw Goku get UI then decide to train aftet the ToP
Anyways, Beerus is teaching us about hakai/destruction energy. Its erasing something from existence, not just destroying it (we already knew that). But, Vegeta quickly figures out how to do it anyways. By destroying a tiny pebble...
A tangent again but I personally think Piccolo is capable of easily learning Hakai energy. Think about it. Piccolo can create clothing out of nothing, why could he not do the reverse?
Goku is uninterested in what Beerus & Vegeta are doing. I dont know about you, but it sounds like Goku thinks that he's above Beerus in strength. Beerus & Vegeta aren't considered a challenge to him in any way. Goku sees UI as more important & better than anything Beerus has to teach, and Goku is right. Plus Goku learned Hakai on his own while Vegeta needs Beerus to teach him. It's a waste of Goku's time to learn it again.
(God Comics is funny. I imagine Toribot writes them)
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Goku says "Let's see which one of us can be the strongest in the universe!" Really, Goku...? At present time, Goku is the strongest mortal in the universe already. He should know that. Then Vegeta for some reason thinks he will become the strongest in the universe. The last time manga Vegeta was the strongest mortal in the universe was... never. He's always behind Goku or whatever new opponent arises. This scene is meant to be comedic that they're arguing over who will be the greatest but it's not funny to me. And yet Vegeta fans still hold on for hope.
But why is Goku concerned about being the strongest between him & Vegeta? Goku is far above Vegeta. They're not rivals at this point. Also, Goku was the strongest in the universe until just a few moments ago. Goku should be saying "I knew bein' the strongest wouldn't last for too long. Roshi did tell me there will always be somebody stronger out there. Hehe! This is gettin' me excited! I can't wait to meet 'em!" (This would alsp parallel Monaito giving Granolah the same advice Goku already knows.)
Also, I guess Broly isn't that strong after all. Bye Broly, you served your purpose. And to think that Goku had said that he thinks Broly is stronger than Beerus...
Oh yeah. So Vegeta destroys a pebble. Impressive? Goku kinda gives a compliment or he is practically saying "Good job Vegeta! You're doing great following in my footsteps!" Seriously, this would be so much better and cooler if this seperate paths of training began right after the Universe 6 vs Universe 7 tournament. That would be the perfect spot to have them train under Beerus & Whis. [Vegeta using Hakai against Merged Zamasu, Goku able to fight Merged Zamasu temporarily because he is getting better at letting his body move on its own, Toppo & Vegeta using Hakai against each other as Goku & Jiren use power above GoDs. That would work so much better.]
Then Vegeta says he's gonna destroy bigger things soon... is that supposed to be more impressive? Its not. But this it to build up Vegeta even though there is nothing amazing about anything he is doing at the moment. Maybe later tho.
So Cerealians can't grow beards. Also I guess Granolah's race don't age? His hair grew when his lifespan was shortened but he has no wrinkles. It seems that they age more gracefully than Saiyans. If he has some wrinkles he would have looked cooler imo. Or those lines under the eyes at the very least. If the wish shortened his life & made his hair grow, it should have also showed that he aged. (Here's an edit I made of "Grampa Granolah." You're welcome)
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And remember Vegeta destroying a pebble? Granolah can suddenly destroy big rocks! Cool right?! No? Its not cool? Showing Granolah destroy a much larger object right afterwards kinda belittles Vegeta's accomplishment.
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Oatmil is surprised by a boulder exploding. This means one of 2 things. Oatmil is stupid & never saw an Granolah explode a boulder. Or it's implying that the boulder exploding is some technique Oatmil doesn't know of. Idk how he can tell its any different from just blowing up a rock with ki. I think it's supposed to be destruction energy. If it is then, ok. If getting his wish was so easy, then why can't he suddenly learn destruction as well?
Yay! Monaito! (This really should be a Namekian focused arc)
Granolah reminds me of Zamasu with his attitude a bit. Monaito tells him somebody stronger will definetly appear. Granolah has become like Vegeta and is over confident, so he is destined to get humbled. And think about this. Goku can probably train a bit and surpass Granolah within a week.
Granolah can now sense ki. Meaning he can have the destruction technique or UI, because why not?
Monaito blames himself for Granolah's actions. Its not your fault Monaito! You did nothing wrong! Dont be so hard on yourself.
Whis being a creep and peeping on people lol.
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Granolah's hair growing was pointless because he cuts it off soon after. Nothing changed visually. This kinda reminds me of how Moro lost his arm. Goku gave him a senzu, Moro grew it back, & then Moro broke his arm when attacking Goku. Then Moro tore his arm off & reattached his old one. There was no need for Moro to grow his arm back then tear it off. Similarly, there is no need for Granolah to have grown long hair then cut it off.
Maki still brings a smile to my face. She & Gas stand out the most out of the Heeters. Maki's personality is kinda like Zangya combined with a teasing Bulma. Gas reminds me of a Krillin/Piccolo fusion with dreadlocks. I also ship Maki x Gas cause they're short and look cute together. (please don't be siblings so I can draw them together🤞)
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Granolah fights Oil & Maki. I'm not impressed. They seem like they could be defeated by Chaoitzu (he's stronger than Raditz and probably Nappa now too). Granolah's movements could be seen as UI. If it is or isn't UI, it doesn't matter. Showing off that kind of power is like Goku using Ultra Instinct during a rematch with Nam or King Chappa. Its not effective storytelling. There had to be a better way of showing Granolah's new strength than making him fight opponents that give him zero challenge.
The art is good as usual and the panel flow is nice. Toyotaro is improving at creating the illusion of motion. The environment being used in the fight was smart and a good visual. Toyo still uses a ton of panels almost every page tho. But he's still a better artist than I am.
Granolah appears to have used Hakai again. Not the explosive variant but the sand variant (yes I think there are 2 ways of using Hakai).
The "Sand Variant" that Beerus & Goku (& maybe Granolah) have used.
The "Explosive Variant" Beerus & Vegeta (& maybe Granolah) have used.
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Maki thinks the "Hakai" is magic so that's interesting. I would say I'd like for the next enemy to be a magic user but, we know how Moro turned out... 😓
Maki has "ki claws" & I like the idea but it would be better if she had used it against an enemy she can defeat. It doesn't make her look useful in this fight. Gas seems confident when he is about to fight Granolah, but Elec stops him. Gas would've gotten beaten but it make ya wonder what Gas can do.
Granolah appears to be a person that is easily manipulated and persuaded. He even gave information they weren't even asking for. He'll probably be easily convinced and manipulated by Freeza/the Hedters or quickly have a truce with Goku.
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The Heeters plan to go to Planet Cereal to get the Dragon Balls. As I suspected, the Cerealian Dragon Balls were created so that it would be easy for wishes to be granted. Gathering 2 Dragon Balls on a nearby planet instead of gathering 7 on New Namek or Earth. Plus these new Dragon Balls ensures no interaction between Earthlings & Granolah/the Heeters. A perfect way to write Gohan & company out of the story... *sigh* 😔😒
We learn Cerealians live for 2 centuries. How's that compare to other races in Universe 7? Freeza & King Cold apparently can live more than 200 yrs, But that may be because they are mutants. Namekians can live for like 500 yrs & its possible for them to reincarnate themselves too. So in a way, Namekians can live forever. Saiyans stay youthful & live to be in their 80's, but rapidly age when they reach their 60's or 70's. Average Earthlings appear live to be in their 80's or 90's but some are over 100 yrs old (Dr. Briefs, Panchy, & Ox King are in their 90's in GT) and others can increase their lifespan through elixers or the Paradise Herb. Just some thoughts of mine.
Maki says "If he ices Freeza..." Ha, an ice pun. Elec wants to defeat Freeza so he can control his army. Its revealed they wanna kill Granolah & that they worked with Freeza to destroy his planet & race. Well... that more than likely means they're gonna die by Granolah's hand or Freeza's. This info is also an attempt to make the reader more sympathetic for Granolah. Granolah is too bland (pun intended) so I don't feel any more sympathy than I already had for him. Elec plans to make Goku & Vegeta fight Granolah since Granolah hates Saiyans. Smart but we all kinda expected it. Not bad writing tho.
The final panel talks about fate bringing the 3 (Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah) together. Sounds like a repeat of the Broly movie.
We've had 4 chapters in this arc & not 1 panel of Freeza... If Freeza doesnt appear & do something in the next chapter then I will be disappointed in the writing. Showing Freeza here and there would give tension and build up until we get the encounter with him. We also have no idea who Oatmil is. Is he an A.I. or a person? Not that big of a deal yet, but I would like to find out soon. Either show Freeza or tell us more about Oatmil next chapter pleaae
This chapter was like oatmeal (the food not the character) without butter, brown sugar, milk, & honey or raisins. Not bad, but not very good either. 
So here's my thoughts on the things that could or could not happen in this arc.
Goku vs Granolah. I don't care for the fight because the power is at a point that it doesnt make sense for enemies to get to without cheating somehow. The fight will look cool but I have no interest in it.
Vegeta vs Granolah will have Vegeta being stomped as always and Vegeta fans will make excuses & complain how it's not fair. A lot of Vegeta fans often make fun of Yamcha & Krillin for getting beat up even though those 2 bravely fight opponents leagues stronger than they are. Vegeta has gotten stomped by opponents more times than Krillin & Yamcha combined but the fans gotta deflect somehow. I don't care to hear or see the complaining again.
The interaction and dialogue between Granolah & Vegeta is going to be more interesting than their fight. But I worry because Toyo isn't the best at writing dialogue.
I have no reason to care about power growth, certain interactions, or Goku & Vegeta's training.
What I am curious about/want to see?
Monaito's well being. I want him to reunite with other Namekians. But I think he's been set up to die.
Lore about the dragon gods & Namekian lore we probably wont get.
I want Piccolo, Krillin, Gohan, & others will be involved. Piccolo because of the Namekian & wosh granting dragon lore. Gohan because his interaction with Granolah eould be interesting since Gohan is half Saiyan & views himself as an Earthling. Krillin & other Earthlings because they can bring tensions where characters like Goku & Vegeta can't. Those 2 are too strong for there to be any real tension. However Earthlings aren't all powerful so them using wits to survive is more exciting. But I doubt any of their involvement.
How long a Cerealian year is? Is it shorter than a Namekian year? How much time will pass for the Cerealian Dragon Balls to be active? How much stronger than Granolah will Goku get? Hopefully the answers aren't lazy...
Will Beerus finally fight somebody? There are 6 mortals that are near or above his power (Goku, Granolah, Vegeta, Broly, Freeza, Gohan).
Who's the villian of the next arc & what explanation is going to be given for them having power on the level of Angels? Angel tier fights don't sound interesting to me anymore. After those kinds of battles, Goku will have no challengers left.
Will Goku disappear to train or something so the story can TRY to match up with the EoZ?
Will Goten, Trunks, & Marron hit their growth spurts within 3 yrs?
Will we get spin-off manga about other characters? PLEASE!? 🙏
Also DBS moved too quickly when it comes to power. Now we're at the point that Goku & Vegeta need to stop being involved in fights for there to be any actual threat or tension. The Buu saga took place in AGE  774. After training for 4 years of peace, Goku thought SS3 & fusion was his limits as a Saiyan and he was right. Well, kinda... Goku was introduced to god ki near the end of AGE 778. Then in AGE 781, Goku masters Ultra Instinct... He mastered an Angel technique in 2 year or 2.5 yrs. That was waaaay too fast. As a result the storytelling & writing are suffering from this rushed progress. Now we're gonna have an Angel tier opponent? According to the pattern of DBS, Goku's gonna end up surpassing the Angels within 2 or 3 yrs after learning god ki. Thats not impressive for Goku, that's terrible writing. And no, Goku getting this strong so fast is not a benefit to Saiyans either. It just shows us that without god ki, Saiyans ain't all that powerful unless they're the legendary Saiyan like Broly. Saiyans didn't even have a concept of training until Goku was trained by Earthlings. Gohan, Freeza, 17, & I'm pretty sure Piccolo as well have all surpassed SS3 without the help of god ki. God ki makes Saiyans look like they have limits. With god ki, the writing is broken....
I got off topic again... Anyways that's the end of my review.
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obxcunt · 3 years
Text
Love bites || (8)
pairing: jj maybank x reader [eventually] || rafe cameron x reader
warnings: SMUT, typos, cursing.
summary: it was supposed to be a good summer for you, the last one in the obx before going to college, the last one with your friends and family. Unfortunately, a sudden and mysterious death is about to completely change your life, pushing you directly into a brand new world and into a very sexy vampire’s arms.
part seven || masterlist || part nine
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You were now both in the living room, sitting on the couch next to each other, your legs resting on JJ’s laps. “I—“ He cleared his throat. “You’re okay?” He asked, again. “Do you need anything? Does it hurt? Maybe you—” You chuckled lightly, head falling against the couch.
“Look at me, JJ.” You said, your eyes searching for his deep blue ones. “I’m fine.” You murmured, again and again. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
He scoffed. “I— I can’t help it.”
Kiara and Marcus walked in the living room together and seemed a bit worried. JJ turned his head in their direction, frowning. He could tell something was wrong, Marcus remaining silent and looking away.
Marcus had long brown hair, dark eyes and a beard. He looked like a cowboy, lost in the wrong generation. You discretely looked at the older man, wondering how old he was.
“How are you feeling, Y/N?” The witch asked.
“I— I’m fine, just tired and still a bit confused.” You touched your head, grimacing. “But my nose isn’t broken, that’s cool.”
“What’s wrong, Marcus?” JJ asked, nervous. “What happened outside? Did you catch him?” Marcus remained silent. “What’s going on?”
“We have a problem.” Marcus replied. “He’s way too fast and strong, we are clearly dealing with a newborn. He’s going to come back here.”
Kiara moved closer. “And, we don’t understand how he even managed to get inside the house.” She said. “Maybe another witch helped him or something. However, me and my dad are the only wizards living on the island.”
“Wait, what?” You asked. “He— He’s gonna come back?” JJ instantly turned to look at you, his hands reaching out for yours as they were resting on your thighs. “But— But we are not prepared for this, he could—”
“Unfortunately, this is a pretty common thing in our world.” Marcus interrupted. “This boy is different from us, he’s a hunter.” JJ clenched his jaw, looking back at him. “He’s dangerous and he’s not going to leave the island anytime soon, not until he gets what he wants.”
You sighed. “Me…” You murmured, tears emerging again. “Fuck—” You looked down, holding JJ’s hand.
The blond shook his head. “Hey, Y/N.” He leaned his head closer to yours as you looked up again. “I’ll never let this guy approach you ever again.” He promised. “Don’t worry, you’re—”
“This isn’t about me, JJ!” You said. “I— I don’t care about myself and the possibilities but—” You paused, licking your lips. “What about my parents, huh? What if, he comes back to my house, and kills them?” JJ sighed, looking straight at you. “What are we supposed to do?”
“I’m gonna stay with you, close to your house, drive you around whenever you need to move.” You rolled your eyes. “I’ll be your bodyguard.” He shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll find a solution, we can’t let this guy live any longer.”
“No, no, no.” You objected, eyes widening. “I don’t want you guys to get hurt.” Marcus scoffed. “It’s— It’s dangerous, what if you—”
“It’s not negotiable.” Marcus interrupted, crossing his arms. “We need to kill this guy, this week.” You sighed. “We can’t deal with him and Ward at the same time, it has to be done soon.”
Kiara and JJ nodded. “We’re gonna have to establish a plan.” She turned back to Marcus. “Let’s do this tomorrow, we should get some rest now.” She turned back to JJ. “Also, the spell won’t last forever.” She added. “You won’t be able to enter the house without her permission first as soon as you leave.”
“You should stay here for the night, JJ.” Marcus suggested. “Since her parents are coming back tomorrow, it’s not safe for her to stay here alone.” The blond vampire nodded. “We’ll see you tomorrow at the Chateau, we’ll have a reunion.” He looked at you. “It was nice to meet you, Y/N.”
“I— Yes.” You replied. “It was nice to meet you too, sir.” Marcus chuckled at the nickname before exiting the room with Kiara, the brunette waving at the two of you.
“Okay, let’s go upstairs.” You said once they were done.
You both took the stairs in silence, secretly enjoying each other’s company. JJ didn’t say anything, but he was really happy to be with you tonight. However, it wasn’t easy for him to control himself around you sometimes: his strong emotions tempting him constantly.
“Welcome to my bedroom.” You joked, closing the door behind him. “It’s a bit messy, i wasn’t expecting anyone.” You admitted, scratching the back of your head.
“Oh, really?” He teased, smirking as you smacked his arm. “It’s really pretty.” He said, looking at the lamps around the bedroom: giving a cozy atmosphere to the room. “Is that you?” He asked, pointing at some pictures on the wall, right above the desk.
“Yes with my mom.” You moved next to him. “We were at my grandparents' house, it’s a few hours away from the island.” You explained, the blond humming as he looked at the other pictures.
“I—” He narrowed his eyes, clearing his throat. “I don’t see your dad, anywhere.” He said, before looking at you. “You— You don’t like him very much, right?”
You sighed. “We— It’s complicated.” You walked away, sitting on the bed. “We used to be close, but not anymore.” JJ turned around to look at you, feeling bad for bringing up the subject. “It’s getting worse.”
“I— I’m really sorry.” He said, making you smile. “I should mind my own business.”
“Don’t be silly.” He sat down next to you, taking off his boots. “You wanna learn more about me.” He smirked, nodding. “We jump directly into the sensitive subjects.” You both laughed, getting comfortable against the headboard. “He— He cheated on my mom five months ago.”
“Oh.” JJ murmured. “Does she—”
“She knows about it, she forgave him.” You laughed nervously, looking away. “I can’t believe it, it’s fucking ridiculous.”
“Maybe— Maybe she wants to give him another chance to save your family.” You looked at him. “I’m not defending him, he’s an asshole but—” He paused schrugged his shoulders. “I’m not very good at this—” He laughed nervously. “Maybe, they both realized how important their marriage was. Maybe he’s faithful now, maybe he doesn’t want to lose everything.”
“I don’t know.” You said, sighing. “They’re always fighting, arguing over the most random things.” You smiled sadly, playing with your fingers. “I always end up in the middle.”
JJ wanted nothing more than to wipe away the sad expression on your face. “If— If you need to escape one day, or want some peace.” You looked back at him. “You can come to the Chateau, wherever you want.” You hummed, smirking. “I— You can hang out with us, especially me.”
You both laughed. “Oh, right.” He winked, making you laugh even more. You smacked his arm. “How could a sane person turn down such a nice offer.” You smiled, fleeing his gaze for a second.
“Exactly, Y/N.”
You both calmed down, looking at each other with intensity. Butterflies were emerging in your stomach at the sight: the beautiful vampire caressing your cheek with his thumb. You wanted him so bad, noticing his eyes full of desire moving down to your parted lips. You both couldn’t deny the attraction anymore.
JJ seemed fine on the outside, fighting an intense storm made by his emotions on the inside. His brain was telling him to leave, to run away from here. His heart was telling him to kiss you, to listen to his own desires for once. He wanted you so bad, no matter how risky and dangerous it was. You were this beautiful forbidden fruit to him and he was dying to finally taste it.
But, as soon as you moved closer: his nose brushing against yours, his whole body tensed up and he pulled away from you.
“Oh…” You murmured, heartbroken. “I— I’m really sorry. JJ.” You added, touching your trembling lips. “I— I thought you liked me.” You laughed nervously. “I’m ridiculous.”
“Wait, what?” He asked. “Shit— I do.” You looked back at him, frowning. “I like you, Y/N.” He breathed in and out. “I— I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone so badly in my entire life before.”
You blushed at his words. “I don’t understand.” He wanted to tell you the truth. “What’s wrong, JJ?”
“Remember, back in high-school, when you punched Rachel Green in the face?” You nodded, still frowning. “You did it, because she was calling me a Dirty Pogue.” He swallowed hard. “I— I’ve been in love with you ever since.”
Your eyes widened. “Wha— What?” You were extremely confused, shaking your head. “This doesn’t make any sense, you were ignoring me in high-school and at parties. I thought you had a problem with me back then.”
“You’re a Kook.” You rolled your eyes. “I know, it’s ridiculous. But, you were hanging out with my enemies all the time and—” He sighed. “You had a boyfriend back then.” You grimaced at the memory. “I was admiring you, in secret. I was always looking at you, thinking about you. You were making me nervous. But, this was before, through my human life. Everything is different now.”
“I’m so confused.” You rubbed your face. “You don’t like me anymore, now?” He shook his head. “Because you’re one sexy vampire, you probably had sex with beautiful vampire women and i’m nothing more than a boring human girl.” He laughed nervously at your words. “That’s not funny.”
“I— I haven’t had sex in a while.” He admitted. “Vampires’s emotions are way deeper, which means that my desire for you became even more important and stronger.” Your lips parted, cheeks heating up. “It means that my need to feel you is consuming me even more than it was before.” You were breathing heavily, a violent heat igniting your whole body. “But, this is completely different from human relationships. If we start, who knows what could happen. I could break your bones, while fucking you too hard. I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N.”
You couldn’t hold back anymore. “Holy shit—” You breathed with difficulty, one hand moving to his neck to pull him closer. “I— I don’t care, kiss me.” He chuckled, both hands moving to your waist.
“Don’t say that.” He said. “You’re driving me crazy.”
“You’re torturing me, JJ.” You said back, moving to his lap, sitting down right on his crotch. “Please—” He growled as you moved against him. “One kiss.”
“If you keep doing this—” He sighed, licking his lips. “We both know, it won’t be just a kiss.” You smirked, pressing your forehead against his. “JJ…” He loved hearing his name in your mouth and loved even more how eager you were to feel him. “You’re not gonna hurt me.”
“Shit.” He breathed.
In a second, you were getting slammed against the bed: back pressed against the mattress in a gasp. His body was hovering yours, standing right between your opened legs. His mouth moved against yours through a passionate kiss, your hands moving behind his neck to pull him closer. You wrapped your legs around his waist, moaning against him as you felt his hand caressing your bare thigh before firmly grabbing it.
He pulled away, his lips moving to your jawline and neck. He wasn’t out of breath, unlike you, he was unstoppable. You moaned against his ear, sensing him gently biting your skin. He pulled away, sensing the urge to bite you, his eyes turning darker and teeth coming out.
You opened your eyes. “What’s wrong, JJ?” He looked away, not wanting you to see him like this. “Hey, look at me.” He groaned, shaking his head to chase his dark thoughts away. “Hey, it’s okay.” He looked back at you, expecting another reaction as you caress his cheekbones and kiss him softly. “It’s okay…” You repeated quietly, his eyes softening at the sound of your voice. “I trust you.”
He kissed you again. “I— I wanna try something.” You didn’t say anything, waiting for him to make the next move, which he did: moving down and kissing your thighs. “Can— Can I?” He asked, ready to take off your pyjama shorts and underwear.
“Yes, please.” You said, whining as you felt the cold air against your skin. “Shit—” You moaned, head falling back against the pillow as JJ’s hands firmly grabbed your thighs, the feeling of his cold rings against your burning skin making you shiver. “Please, do something.”
He couldn’t believe it, this wasn’t another wet-dream, it was real. He made sure you couldn’t move, holding you tightly against the mattress, his head placed directly in front of your heat. He kissed your bikini-line slowly, wanting to tease you, the anticipation building in your body and driving you crazy.
He moved down. “Better be loud, baby.” You moaned at his words. “I want the whole island to hear you.” You hummed, biting your lower-lip.
“Fuck—” He moved his tongue between your folds, licking all the way up to your clit: sucking on it and looking straight at you in the eyes. “JJ—“ You cried, gripping on the sheets.
He continued devouring his favorite meal with pleasure, trying his best to remain calm as he bruised your thighs with his rough fingers: which made you moan even louder. His tongue wandered through your heat, while your fingers were playing with his soft hair: your whole body shaking at the sensation. He used his thumb against your clit, his tongue focusing on the entrance as he listened carefully to your moans.
“I’m— I’m gonna cum, JJ.” You murmured, looking down at the beautiful vampire between your legs. “Fuck!“ You moaned, his thumb moving fast against your clit, making you shake in euphoria as you tried to close your legs on him. “J— JJ!” He smirked against your wetness, savoring the way you taste. “Oh my god… You’re amazing.”
At midnight you were cuddling him, falling asleep in his strong arms, your arm around his waist and your head resting on his bare chest: using the sound of his heartbeat as a lullaby. He played with your hair and kissed your head until you were peacefully snoring, looking at you with adoration the whole night.
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tag-list: @prejudic3-deactivated20201112 @thestorysofargone @ifilwtmfc @callmeimpetuous @katiaw2 @iccyyyybitch @agirlwholovescoffee @hvrcruxes @magicwithaknife @obxmxybxnk @lus-shh @bibliophilewednesday @k-k0129 @acvross-the-universe (tumblr won’t let me tag some of u guys!)
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pixuou · 2 years
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Nina's private life might have been a complete mess, but at least career-wise she was finally satisfied. She was teaching a jazz dance course (in rotation with the Wirth sisters) at Desi-Rhythm Dance Studio in Desiderata Valley.
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One night, Nina heard Mr. Landgraab knock on her door.
Nina: ...Malcolm? What are you doing here? I thought you didn't wanna see me anymore.
Malcolm: Yeahhh I thought so too. But then I... see, I was just wondering if... if you were alone tonight and had a little free time maybe, if we could...
Nina: But I thought you got married? Are you already bored?
Malcolm: Nah I'm just... Okay, the truth is, I realised... you were the best woohoo partner I've ever had. And my wife is, uhh, not feeling up to it lately so...
Nina: So you came here on a whim?
Malcolm: Sort of. More like, on a want, but yes...
Nina: Well, now that you're here, it wouldn't be nice of me to send you back home, would it? And, I really don't have much else planned for tonight, and I guess even though you're a bit of a dick, I still prefer you over a solitary binge watch of WooHoo and the City for the hundredth time.
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Malcolm: Wait... I always thought it was WooHoo IN the City?
Nina: Ah, that's like a common thing. A lot of people remember it like that. So many that it's become a famous case of the Mandela effect. If you believe in stuff like that.
Malcolm: I swear I saw that when Jodie was watching it last week. Like the title was spelled like that in the opening credits and everything... it was WooHoo in the City.
Nina: I'll give you your woohoo in the city now...
[ugh im sorry shshsh]
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Nina dialed up the number, the phone rang for a little bit, then went to voicemail.
[beep]
Nina: Hi Dina! It's your sister... I know you still don't wanna talk to me, but I think it's only fair I call now. First of all, I'm so sorry about Mortimer. Please accept my honest condolences. Stay strong, and I hope you're surrounded by nothing but love and support in that house in these trying times... Speaking of which... I wanted to tell you I know what I've done at the wedding was wrong. But it's been so long now, and I'm not seeing Don anymore. I think we should maybe talk it through, or talk about anything else really, and put it behind us finally. Also, I hope you know that if you can't stay at the manor, you always have a place to come home to here. It is a little too big for just me anyway. So... how about you come over sometime? Or should we go get coffee and chocolate cake in the city together, like in the good old days? I'm free in the evenings, just give me a call. Alright, I think that's all... I hope you made it this far. Uh, speak to you soon!
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Dina got Nina's message and accepted her invitation, without much hesitation. She was obviously feeling down and lonely, and could do with a bit of familiar company. She wasn't even that mad at her anymore, in fact, now she barely remembered why she got so upset over somebody else's problem in the first place.
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Dina: You're not seeing Don anymore, then?
Nina: I'm not. Does he still go out with other girls though?
Dina: Oh yeah. Quite a lot. But I think Cassandra knows well enough now.
Nina: That's so strange... How has she not filed for divorce yet?
Dina: I don't know. Maybe it's their son. She doesn't want him to grow up without a father. I get it... That's why I decided not to try for a baby with Mortimer after all, too. I knew he wasn't going to be there to see them grow up, and the thought of that kinda breaks my heart.
Nina: And... what's going to happen to you now? Will you move out?
Dina: I don't know! Everyone keeps asking me that, as if I knew. Of course I'd like to keep living in a mansion, duh. And I grew so fond of little Theodore over the years, it's almost like I'm his step-mum, even though he has a real mum. But then again, I'm not related to that baby at all, and I don't get paid to take care of him, so... guess I'll just wait and see if Cass kicks me out.
Nina: At least you got a load of cash now, didn't you?
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Dina: Owww! What are you doing?! I still have makeup on.
Nina: So do I. Is yours not waterproof? I thought you only used the best of brands. ... What? Come on, you used to be the playful one. It was just a splash! I thought it would cheer you up a bit. Sorry.
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Demon Brothers with an GN/MC who has a Learning Disability
Warning: Some Angst, panic attacks, anxiety, disability talk, self deprecation, disordered eating, medication, insomnia
Lucifer
He saw in your file that you had ADHD, Dyscalculia and Dysgraphia. He doesn’t really understand what it meant but talk to him about it and he will listen. 
He keeps an eye on his Brother’s grades as well as yours. When he notices your grades slipping slightly he goes to check on you. He arrives at your door, as he is about to knock he hears you sobbing and quietly walks in. 
Sees you hunched over your textbook with large tears streaming down your cheeks. He won’t show it outwardly but his heart is breaking seeing you this upset. Walks up to your chair and pulls you into a gentle embrace, while running his fingers through your hair.
“Focus on your breathing Y/N, try to match your breathing with mine” his voice is calm and soothing.
As you hiccup a thank you through your choked sobs, he asks you what happened to make you this upset.
When you tell him you were struggling to focus and were getting frustrated with yourself because you’ve been working on this paper for a while and you just can’t seem to put the words in your brain down on paper. 
“Why don’t you pack up your work and join me in my study, we can take a break and have some tea together. I’m working on some paperwork and wouldn’t mind the company.”
Mammon
You’re in your room doing some math work. The numbers start looking like just random squiggles only being made worse by the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. You though you were done with having to take math classes, until you came to the Devildom. 
“Oi, Human put your shoes on. The great Mammon is taking you on an adventure” You hear as your door flies open. In the doorway stood the White haired demon with a familiar smirk. 
He doesn’t really look at you while he walks over and flops down on your bed. Your back is to him so he can’t see the fact you are silently crying into your hands. He notices that you hadn’t greeted him and goes over to see what’s going on.
He’s nervous and wonders if he did something wrong or if you are mad at him. Once he gets closer he can see your shoulders heaving and can hear your breath hitch while you try to not let him see. 
He can see you’ve been crying, who hurt his human? 
“Y/N what happened?” He pulls you into his arms, trying to hide the blush growing redder on his face. 
You explain that you have Dyscalculia and that you’ve always had a hard time understand math problems. You can do basic math like adding and subtracting fine but anything other than that is like a foreign language to you. 
“Oh is that all, you shoulda come to me first. I am the Great Mammon after all, besides numbers are kinda my thing” he said with a coy wink
Pulls over a chair and starts to slowly explain the problems to you. When he noticed you were getting flustered he suggested that you two take a break and go for a walk.
He starts to tutor you weekly, and yes he is blushing hard the whole time
Levi
He only notices that you tend to be able to keep up with him playing video games well into the early mornings
It isn’t until Lucifer has a talk with both of you about your grades slipping
You then mention about having ADHD and your tendency to hyper focus on something, and that you usually have to set time limits on various things otherwise you will only focus on that one thing and will drown out everything else around you.
He understands, He will do the same thing playing video games.
When you two play together you start setting alarms so you can make sure you get everything else you need to do done. 
He will even offer to do homework with you so you can play after for a little while.
Blushy boy just wants to spend time with you no matter what you do. He’ll blush harder if you brush your hand against his while studying together. 
Satan
-He notices. You fidget non stop. Whether it’s bouncing your leg, tapping your fingers or playing with your hair. 
You two are reading on his couch one day and your bouncing your knee up and down
“Nervous Y/N?” He asks softly peering up at you over the book he was reading
“Hm?” You mumble looking at him brows furrowed, then looking at your knee. You can feel your ears getting hot. “Sorry, I can’t help it” and move to cross your legs under yourself so you don’t move them as much.
You explain that having ADHD you sometimes have access energy that you can’t quite control and fidgeting helps the overstimulated feeling. He had already known what ADHD was, but still does more research. 
He wants to help you as much as he can. He finds some quiet fidget items that he keeps in his room for you to hold on to while you read together. 
He notices that you tend not to fidget if you are sitting in his lap while you both read your own thing. He will pull you into his lap if you start to fidget, and won’t ever tell you why. He enjoys the closeness. 
Asmo
-The first time he notices is when you are doing homework together one day and he asked to see your notes for the class he had missed. 
You started to panic internally, you had trouble reading your own writing how was he going to be able to read it. 
This man has beautiful handwriting. 
He also sees the look of panic on your face and returns a look of concern back
You tell him that you have Dysgraphia and you struggle with spelling and legible handwriting. 
“Oh I’m sure it’s fine, have you seen my brothers’” gently brushing his hand down your arm, He takes your notes and starts to write his own humming softly to himself.
‘Perfect, Thank you Y/N” pushing some hair behind your ear
Offers to help you with notes (probably just makes copies of them) 
Starts making his letters more fancy to give you something beautiful to look at when you study.
Beel
-He notices that you sometimes don’t show up to meals on weekdays, but on weekends you have what he thinks is a “normal” human appetite 
when he asks if you’ve eaten on such weekdays you respond with “Oh no, but I’m not really hungry”
Soft boy gets really concerned, and asks you about it.
You explain that on days you have important things to do, such as school you take medication that helps you focus and sometimes it makes it hard to have an appetite because of the medication, or you just forget to eat.
He starts to knock on your door and ask you to come to down to eat with him
Will bring extra snacks and water to your study dates 
He will also text you to make sure you’ve eaten.
Belphie
-He notices. 
You’ll be laying down getting ready to go to sleep and you just can’t seem to get your brain to turn off.
He notices you squirming trying to get comfortable, he’s a little bit grumpy but just pulls you tighter into him.
After what feels like an eternity you finally fall asleep, but not for long.
Your eyes shoot open and you reach over to grab your phone the numbers flash 1:45. You’ve only been asleep for 2 hours.
“Why are you awake?” A soft lazy voice chimes out. 
You turn to face him “Sorry I’ve been having a hard time sleeping lately” you tell him that for you having ADHD means that you also have a hard time falling and staying asleep.
He gets it. Starts doing what he can to help you sleep. Occasionally will (with your consent) using his power to help you fall asleep.
He might also suggest mediating with Beel.
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nashibirne · 3 years
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DESPERADO - 3
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Helen and August are back. Sorry it took me a while to write the next chapter but our holidays got in the way of writing. Anyway, here it is and it's getting a little steamy. I somehow struggled with writing the smut this time, it was somewhat hard to find the right balance in their dynamics but I think it turned out fine in the end. I hope you like it, too. As you know, writers live off validation, so comments, reblogs and likes are very much appreciated 💜
Pairing: Augut Walker x OFC (Helen Nichols)
Summary: August has survived the fight with Ethan Hunt and the fall from the cliff. A few lucky coincidences saved his life and he ends up with a woman that saves him and gives him shelter in her little hermit hut. He is at a turning point in his life. What is he going to do?
Word count: ~ 3.1 k
Warnings: Description of injuries, smut, NSFW, 18+, unprotected sex, oral sex (f and m receiving), vaginal sex
NO BETA! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…
Credits: I don’t own August Walker and anything related to MI:Fallout. Pics for the moodboard from pinterest, face claim Helen: Rooney Mara
You can find parts 1 and 2 and my other fics on my masterlist.
Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc
Let's go...
***************
Desperado
Oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger
They're drivin' you home
Freedom, oh freedom
Well that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walkin' through this world all alone
From Desperado by The Eagles, Lyrics: Don Henley, Glenn Frey
"She's dead. She died in an accident. She was gone. I stayed."
No matter how hard August tried to find out more about Allison, there was no way to make Helen tell him anything else but these simple basics. She'd worked hard on building a protective wall around that part of her heart and her mind, she had closed off the grief and the feeling of guilt and she wasn't willing to hand over the key to her memories to a random stranger who was lying about his identity.
Besides August's futile attempts to pry into Helen's past the next two weeks were quite harmonious. While Helen had decided to ignore the fact that Austin Peters was a fake persona to avoid any kinds of complications, August had decided to accept the inevitable and to be a nice houseguest and he grudgingly let Helen take care of him. They soon got used to the fact that her help made them share pretty intimate moments and August had a hard time granting her access to his personal space, letting her literally touch him everywhere when she had to treat his wounds or help him get dressed and undressed, but he also watched her blush and shy away from him with fiendish joy.
It made him feel better about his face that his body obviously still had a significant effect on Helen and he couldn't deny that seeing her running around in her underwear or imagining her standing in the shower naked had a certain effect on him too. And it wasn't only physical, he really started to like her. She was smart and tough but also witty and cheeky sometimes, and it was hard for him to admit to himself that he enjoyed her company. Stockholm syndrome for sure, he tried to tell himself but in the back of his mind he knew the truth.
He had no idea that Helen felt the same and that her aloof manner was mostly facade. Behind the mask of indifference she was growing warm feelings for him. Warm, foolish, irrational feelings for a man she actually knew nothing about and who was involved in an FBI investigation. She blamed her hunger for interpersonal interactions and warmth that resulted from her self-chosen isolation for these surfacing emotions and did her best to ignore them.
What was really bothering Helen most after only a few days was the sleeping situation. Despite the fact that the there-is-only-one-bed-trope was everything from hot to romantic in theory it was only leading to back pain in reality. August kept on offering to sleep on the couch but she wouldn't let him. He needed a comfortable place to sleep and her sofa was hardly big enough for her. A tall man like him wouldn't be able to get a wink of sleep on it. So after 14 nights she decided to do something about it. She had made a call in the morning, August had heard her muffled voice from the kitchen when he was in the bathroom, and now a car was driving up to the hut. He started to panic.
"Who's that?"
He looked at Helen and she gave him a shrug.
"A friend. He's bringing me a folding bed, called him this morning. I'm not going to survive another night on the couch."
A car door was slammed shut with a thud and foot steps were coming closer to the front door.
"He can't come in, Helen", August whispered, giving her a pleading glance. She raised an eyebrow.
"Why's that?"
"He mustn't see me. Please."
Helen eyed him up and down and when it knocked August held his breath, his heart racing. She turned to the door without another word and August grabbed a large knife from the knife block before hiding in the corner of the room that wasn't visible from the entrance. Helen flinched when she realized that he'd armed himself but after taking a deep breath she opened the door with a nonchalant smile.
"Naseer. Hi. That was quick."
"Hi Helen. Yeah, it sounded urgent on the phone and you can't sleep in a broken bed so I thought I better bring you the folding bed as soon as possible."
August tried to imagine the man who belonged to the pleasant, warm voice. His English was very good but he clearly wasn't a native speaker. Someone from the village he guessed. From the village he would have erased without batting an eyelid just two weeks ago. His stomach twisted at the thought and it filled him with anger that he seemed to evolve something like a conscience lately.
"That's really kind of you."
He could hear the smile in Helen's voice.
"Let me help you unload it."
"No, I'll go and get it. Just tell me where to put it."
"Just put it here on the porch. I'll take care of it later."
Naseer gave Helen a funny look and she knew he was thinking she was acting strange but she could hardly let him walk inside the hut where August was awaiting him with a knife. She watched her only friend walk to his truck, grabbing the bed from the loading space and carrying it to the house.
"It's no problem to carry it inside", he said when he was standing in front of Helen again. "I could also fix your bed. I built it, it shouldn't be hard to replace a broken part."
He built it? The guy built Helen's bed? August started to wonder what kind of friend he was and why the question bothered him so much.
"No! No, that won't be necessary, Naseer."
Christ, woman, don't talk so fast. Her nervousness was showing in her voice and August was worried he might really have to use that fucking knife.
"Really, it's fine...I'm quite busy right now. In the middle of a creative phase...you know...kissed by the muse."
Good girl, back on track. August's heart rate went back to normal.
"You're working on your book again? That's great, Hel."
Hel? He rolled his eyes, annoyed and impatient.
"Yeah, it really is. My agent is pretty relieved too, my writer's block made him quite nervous. But I'm working almost non-stop on it...so yeah."
She shrugged with a sheepish grin, feeling terrible for lying to him.
"Is that why you needed all those supplies? Because you don't want to leave for grocery shopping in the next few weeks? Your truck was loaded when we met the other day."
"Exactly."
"I see...well…"
"Yeah…"
"I better get going then. Let you work in peace…"
"Thanks for stopping by, Naseer."
"Anytime. You know you can always call me when something's wrong or when you need help, right?"
"Of course." Her laugh sounded fake and nervous and for a moment she thought Naseer was going to ask her what was going on but he only gave her a worried look before he left. Helen let out a long sigh of relief, turned around and closed the door behind her.
"He's gone. You can put that away." She pointed at the knife August clung to, her eyes shooting daggers at him.
"What?" He looked at her angrily, putting the knife back in the knife block. "I just wanted to be prepared."
Helen let out a snort. "For what? Naseer attacking an injured stranger?"
"I don't know him."
"But I do. He's a friend and you made me act rude without a reason."
"A friend, huh? Hel?" August said in a mocking tone wiggling his eyebrows. He tried to be cheeky and make her laugh to ease the tension but he knew it was a stupid move as soon as the words left his mouth.
"Yes. A friend. Austin."
She was still being deadly serious and stressed his false name pointedly crossing her arms in front of her chest. August didn't know what to say or do to keep the situation from escalating so he just shrugged.
"Fine."
"Fine? That's all you have to say? For fucks sake...tell me why you didn't want Naseer to see you. Explain to me why you armed yourself with a knife, hiding in a dark corner of my house. My fucking house, goddamn…in which you found shelter..." She was furious now and he made a step towards her, his hands raised up in surrender. "Okay, listen, Helen."
"I'm all ears."
"As I said, it was just taking precautions. I'm a mistrustful person, made some bad experiences in the past and got hurt too often."
"Bullshit." She shook her head. "Don't try to tug at my heartstrings. Just tell me the truth."
August took a deep breath, he was getting frustrated and annoyed by her insistence.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I just can't, okay? Let's just leave it at that or…"
“Or what? Are you going to kill me?”
Her voice was full of sarcasm but her eyes showed him that a part of her was scared of him, wondering what he was capable of. The logical answer to her question would have been yes. His answer should have been yes, but when he said no, when he denied it, August meant it. He wasn't going to kill her nor would he ever hurt her.
“No, but I still can’t tell you.”
She could tell by the expression on his face that he was torn. He wanted to open up to her, but he felt like he couldn't.
“Just give me something. A little part of the truth to help me understand who you are, where you’re coming from and what you`re up to."
“That’s not so easy, Helen. You might not like what you’re going to hear.”
He gave her a shrug and something that was supposed to be a smile.
“I don’t care. August.”
He blinked repeatedly. “Sorry?”
“Yes...August.” She rolled her eyes. “I know that you've been lying to me from day one."
He got up and started to pace the hut, still hobbling a little, though his ankle was much better. He wasn’t really worried just debating with himself. After a while he stopped by the window, staring outside. “You're right. My name is August. August Walker.”
"Thanks, but I already know that much", Helen snapped.
"How did you find out about my name?" He asked as calmly as his fluttering nerves allowed it, turning around to look her in the eyes.
"Why did you lie to me?" Helen threw him a challenging look.
"How much do you know?" August was not willing to leave his questions unanswered.
"Why. Did. You. Lie. To. Me?" Helen shouted at him.
"It's none of your fucking business", he yelled back.
Helen laughed out loud.
"It's none of my business? Are you kidding me? I saved you. I let you stay in my house, sleep in my bed, I treat your wounds, I take care of you, give you shelter, I've helped you in every possible way, no matter how many of my personal boundaries have been transgressed and now you're seriously telling me that it's none of my business that you've lied to me all this fucking time?"
"I've never asked for your help."
His voice was calm, his facial expression blank and stern but his eyes were blazing with emotion. His stare was so intense it made Helen shiver.
"You ungrateful ass", she whispered, stunned by his audacity. "You took all I had to give without saying thank you only once. And now you're…"
He was right in front of her with two big strides, his lips crashing on hers with unexpected passion. Helen was too surprised to think about her reaction. She instinctively kissed him back, granting him access, letting him deepen the kiss, allowing his hands to explore her body. 60 seconds later she was in control of herself again. She pushed him away, staring at him dumbfounded.
"Shit. What are you doing?"
"Expressing my gratitude."
He gave her an outrageously sexy smirk and it took Helen just a split second to grab him by his shirt and pull him close again to kiss him feverishly. She wanted him. She wanted him badly. She wanted him now.
August pressed her against the wall with his huge body, caressing her tits through her clothes while kissing her neck. She moaned and started to tug at his shirt. He took it off in a hurry and Helen got rid of her top and bra. When they kissed again she let her hands run over his chest gently, making sure not to hurt him. She pulled away and looked at him, at his scarred face that was still so handsome now that the wounds were healing and the swelling had gone down around his eye. August averted his eyes, burying his head in the crook of her neck again, withdrawing from her gaze.
"Turn around", he mumbled, taking her by her waist.
She did what he asked her to do but when she heard him fumble with his belt and the sound of his pants hitting the floor behind her back, when his hands tried to pull down her sweatpants impatiently, she turned around again. She reached up and cupped his face with her tiny hands, running her thumb tenderly over his burnt skin.
"Listen, August. This is not going to be a quickie, okay? You want to express your gratitude? Great. I like this. But do it properly. Fuck me rough, if you want to, fuck me hard, but don't you dare to hide from me. Look at me. Kiss me. Give me the feeling of being wanted. Pretend it's more than just some kind of job."
He looked at her with an unreadable expression, hesitating for a moment. He opened his mouth but instead of saying something he pressed his lips together with a nod. Helen smiled at him before stripping naked slowly.
When he kissed her again he took his time, enjoying the sensation of holding her naked body close to his now. She was surprised by his tenderness, by his gentle touch and the delicate kisses he covered her body with and blown away by the passion that soon erupted from deep within him. It was just a small step from long, slow kisses to making out like two hungry predators.
He lifted her up easily and carried her to her bed where he laid her down on her back carefully. He climbed between her legs and looked at her.
"Ready to get fucked like never before?"
She smirked. "Big words. I hope you're not all mouth."
"You don't like my mouth?" He started to kiss her belly, licking her skin, leaving a wet trace that led down south where his tongue met her soft pubic hair.
"I love your mouth."
Helen moaned when he kissed her pussy and parted her folds with his tongue.
"Yeah? You like my tongue too?"
He started to tongue fuck her and she grabbed his head, pressing his face closer to her sex.
"Shut up and eat me out."
She threw her head back when sucked on her clit.
"Oh fuck…" She moved her hips slowly to the rhythm of his actions, rolling them with intense motions, burying her fingers in his thick, curly hair. "Just like this...yes."
Her moans got louder and louder and his dick was so hard it hurt, leaking precum. He knew she was about to come but she stopped him before she climaxed.
"Lay down", she ordered and so they switched positions. August had always been a dominant lover but being bossed around by her was a great turn on. He loved how determined she was, it was incredibly sexy how she was chasing her high, not even trying to hide that she wanted to fulfil her own needs most of all. She was starved, desperately in need of this, of him. In this moment she needed him, she wanted him, she allowed him to give her what she was craving.
Helen was kneeling between his legs now, grabbing his dick. "I love your cock too." She grinned at him before she started to suck him off with a devotion that was new to him.
She turned him into a whimpering, panting mess soon, her lips and her tongue working their magic on his dick, and just like her, he grabbed her head to have some kind of control over her actions. He made her take him deeper and she took him deeper.
"Good girl. Taking me so well."
His voice was raspy and she locked eyes with him, her gaze telling him that she liked to be praised. August groaned when she slowly pulled back, licking his length one last time.
"Fuck, Helen...I need to feel you."
"I'll make you feel me."
Saliva was dripping from her swollen lips and he almost got off just by the sight of it. His saviour, his saint had turned into a shameless whore and he was willing to worship and adore her for being his dirty, little slut.
"Yes, you will."
He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her onto his cock. She sighed with pleasure when he entered her tight cunt, stretching her wet pussy and as soon as she got used to his size she started to ride him, rolling her hips slowly in a rhythm that was giving them both the greatest pleasure. August stroked her tits, caressed and kneaded them and she supported her body with her hands on his chest. She picked up speed and when August pinched her nipple she came with a hoarse shriek, her whole body trembling with ecstasy and lust.
Helen bent down to kiss him and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly while thrusting his hips. He fucked her without restraint now, his thrusts hard, fast and deep. He railed her mercilessly until his intense orgasm swept him away. He let out a long, satisfied moan and loosened his grip on her body.
He kissed her again but she seemed to be in a rush suddenly and rolled off him and went to the bathroom. August was kind of surprised and sobered to a certain degree when he heard that she was taking a shower. She either couldn't stand after-sex-cuddles in general or she really thought that he had just done her a favor to thank her for her hospitality.
He wondered how many times he would have to fuck her till she was willing to fall asleep in his arms afterwards.
*****
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daydream-believin · 3 years
Text
The Never-Ending Roadtrip (campfire songspell)
Summary: (part 1) Reader has joined Douxie on the quest for Nari’s safety. He’ll need company won’t he?  - (part 3) camping and fun fun crush anxiety   (part 4)
Warnings: swearing, whole fish-eating, mention of blood, i’ve stopped proofreading shit
Word Count: 3678
a/n: don’t worry there’s no more haunted stuff after this. or missouri. Y/n doesn’t smoke she just feels the need to have a way to set fire to things on her person at all times. a pyromaniac, if you will. also they have been roommates this entire time i just forgot to mention it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Archie was not happy. He couldn’t believe that Douxie would just ditch him like this. It wasn’t like him. Watch the boat, Archie. We’ll be right back, Archie. That was seven hours ago. A rainstorm had come and gone even. He thought for sure that at least Y/n or Nari would have reminded the other two about his situation. But, no, here he was, soaked to the bone and still alone. In Missouri. In misery. As mad as he was though, he was equal parts worried. It wasn’t like Douxie to just forget about him. Something was wrong.
When he finally caught sight of the rest of the party returning to the ship, Arch breathed a sigh of relief. And then got ready to breath fire. Which he quickly put out, after seeing the looks on the kids’ faces once they got close enough. So something was wrong. They looked as if they’d seen a ghost.
“Are you three alright? What happened?”
“Nothing we didn’t survive. Look, we got the tent.” Douxie held up the box to show Archie. He just flicked his tail in response. “It’s already dark, so we’ll tell you all about it while we set up camp. Alright, Arch?”
Archie rolled his eyes. He still thought this camping thing Douxie was pushing was an awful idea. But he’d let his wizard familiar make his own mistakes. He’d been doing a lot of that lately, or, well, more like nine centuries. Tough love. Young wizards cannot learn until they blow up potions in their faces. And this was going to be one of those times. He’d give it till sunrise. Midnight, even. He’d make a bet with himself, if they give up before sunrise, he’d treat himself to some fresh salmon. If they stubbornly don’t give up until after, a can of tuna.
After taking the boat a way into the wooded area they were hiding in, and answering all Archie’s questions, they picked a good place to settle for the night. Or at least Nari did. Douxie and Y/n were still iffy about it. it wasn’t exactly camping spot nirvana, but Nari really took a liking to the spot and its aura or whatever. Eh, she just kind of sniffed the air and told Douxie to stop. She liked the abundance of plant life here. Lots of roots sticking up from the ground, and little berry bushes. Which was going to make for bad ground to bed down on. But that’s alright, they’ll just cushion it with extra blankets. Extra blankets that they did not have. Or even regular blankets. They had no blankets. Fuzzbuckets.
It was going to be ten degrees out later tonight. Well, Douxie guessed they’d have to go back to that ‘huddle together like penguins’ plan. Which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, now that he’s thinking about it. Cuddling’s pretty nice. A flush spread across Douxie’s freckles. He’d get to embrace Y/n. Pretend like he couldn’t feel how soft her skin was. Pretend like he totally didn’t want to be holding her, but it was essential to their survival so he had to. Archie and Nari would be there too, snuggling with them, so he could pass it off as platonic. But would he want that. Wouldn’t it just hurt when they let go in the morning. After holding onto her for dear life all night, to just get up and act like nothing happened the next day. Would he recover from that? His blush deepened in color. No, they’ll just have to go make another trip to the store. A different store. Hopefully one that’s free of spirits this time.
But he didn’t need to spend time thinking about cuddling his crush. No, he had to set up camp. Y/n was already building the fire. She was half-way through, by the looks of it, and he was just standing here, staring into the tent instructions, blushing away and not comprehending a thing he had read. In fact, he couldn’t seem to read them now that he was focusing. Oh, look at that, they’ve been in Russian this entire time. His blush turned into an embarrassed one. Not only had he been staring off into space, he had been staring into something he couldn’t even pretend like he was reading. Lovely. He hoped no one noticed. Y/n had. Although, she had just assumed he could in fact read the Russian text and didn’t question it. Perks of being a mysterious immortal being. After barely skimming the instructions he could actually understand, Doux took the tent out of the box, to at least make it seem like he had definitely been reading this whole time and he did have the slightest idea of what he was doing.
Douxie checked back to the instructions, careful to make it look like he was just checking back over it, and not reading it for the first time. He added a head nod to make it convincing. Okay, so he needed to spread out the tent. He got down on his knees and rolled out the large bag of nylon in front of him. It took him a minute to get it to where there weren’t any folds and the shape looked right. As right as a saggy boneless tent could look. Alright, now for the poles. Douxie looked around him and found no poles. Where were the poles? Bleeding balroths, did he buy a tent without poles? Oh, no, it appears they were just still in the box. Ain’t that just the way.
Douxie got to work connecting the tent poles. Thankfully, they were connected by some sort of elastic and he didn’t have to figure out which went with which. He found the eyelets they were supposed to go in on the corners and slipped them in. it was a bit tricky, but he managed. He was glad to be able to have something to do with his hands to get his mind off Y/n. The universe did not let him avoid his thoughts for long, however, since now it was time to raise this bloody tent, which required two people, and Archie and Nari were nowhere to be seen. Of course. Y/n was glad to help him raise the tent. She was glad to hold it while he staked it to the ground. She was glad to do anything with Doux. He just felt guilty for asking.
Finally, their new home was up. For the night anyway. Curious, Y/n opened up the zipper door of the tent. It was small, but cozy nonetheless. She poked her head in to get a better look. Doux followed suit. She turned to him, to make some comment about it, but he didn’t hear a word she said. He was too focused on how her face was incredibly close to his face. Her lips, although in the middle of saying something to him, were right next to his. Could she notice he had been looking at her lips? He prayed she couldn’t notice him looking at her lips. She had. Y/n tilted her head in a gesture. She was asking him a question. Quick, response.
“HAAHAHha yes,,” Douxie panicked.
“Oh, ah, okay.” Y/n ducked back out of the tent. Oh Merlin, what did he just say to her.
***
Y/n spent a significant amount of time trying to light the fire, first with her shitty gas station cigarette lighter, then with some spark spells, when Archie came back and lit it with no problem. Damn dragons, always, breathing fire? He wasn’t around while she was struggling either so he couldn’t have helped her sooner. She was sure she had something to be irritated at him about though. He gets to sleep all day and he doesn’t have to pay bills or wear pants. Yeah, there it was. The smell of woodsmoke filled the air. It was fantastic. Y/n took a deep breath. The fire she had built wasn’t exactly a neat log cabin like she had been taught in girl scouts, but it’d work well enough to cook their dinner and keep them warm. Dinner, what were they even eating? Apparently, the answer to that question was trout that Arch caught in the river and some sort of root that Nari dug up. The roots were a bit strange, but Nari had insisted that they were delicious when roasted. Guess it was time to trust the veggie-lady and pray to the stars that they wouldn’t be spending this night poisoned.
The trout was great, although, whole. Y/n wasn’t sure how she felt about how it was looking at her while she ate it. Yeesh Archie, remove the heads? Don’t cats like to decapitate things? But it was a really good trout. Nice smoky flavor from the fire, seasoned with herbs that Nari picked. Douxie liked it, not seeming to mind the still intact head as much. He ate two. Y/n had no idea how he could fit two whole trout in his stomach but he did just that and ate some of Nari’s roasted tubers too. Speaking of which, they actually weren’t that bad. In fact, Y/n found herself eating quite a lot more of them than she expected. A quick google search revealed that they were something called a fairy spud. Y/n made a mental note to go look for some when she got home. If she got home. Maybe home would be different by the time they were safe from the Order. Maybe they’d make a new home. Of course, they’d have to since Douxie fucking burned down the apartment they shared along with their place of business. Her roommate could be a real dummy sometimes, but that was okay, it was entertaining. And cute. His recklessness was very cute. She’d even call it endearing.
The fire cracked loudly, scaring Y/n out of her revelry. Douxie had also jumped beside her. It was a very loud crack indeed. Archie looked smug. Y/n wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was pride for the trout that he had caught himself. Y/n wasn’t about to pretend to know what went on in an ancient cat-dragon’s head. And she had been taught not to meddle in the affairs of dragons, for she would be quite tasty baked into a blood pie.
She wasn’t sure what was hotter, the fire or her face. Y/n supposed that she was lucky for that fire, to blame on for her flushed cheeks. Douxie was not only sitting beside her, but right beside her. They were just sitting on the still-damp ground, there was plenty of space. He had said something about the smoke being too annoying over on the other side, but that didn’t mean he had to sit so close to her. Not that she didn’t want to be sitting right next to him. She’d focus on the fire, she loved fire. Just focus on the flickers and the popping and the smell. And she couldn’t stop thinking about him next to her. It was just, a little much right now. Too romantic. It was like Douxie and the fucking universe were conspiring to take her out. In both senses of the word. Stars, they were practically all alone out here, sitting by the fire, rubbing shoulders, and oh look at that, he’s got a guitar now.
Douxie had gotten a bit bored just staring into the fire, and desperately needed to distract himself from the fact that he just sat so close to Y/n. Why the hell would he do that. She had noticed, he just knew she had noticed. Time to salvage his pride. What better way to fix all those problems than with some good ol’ fashioned campfire songs? Luckily, he always had a great instrument with him now. Transfiguring his staff, he started to play. He’d stay away from the rock and roll for now since it was literally ten o’clock at night and they didn’t need any park rangers showing up. At first, he just played some classics with the volume turned down, then just practiced some riffs for a while, but once he noticed both Y/n and Nari get noticeably sleepy, he switched to a softer, sweeter melody. His fingers expertly plucked at the guitar strings, and also Y/n’s heartstrings in the process. It was such a beautiful lullaby he was playing. She wished she could hear him play it every night.
Nari was the first to head into the tent for the night. She curled up in one of the corners. Y/n would follow her, but Doux was still playing that lullaby, and she didn’t want to miss a note. It was like it was putting, well, a spell on her. She had a really hard time keeping her eyes open despite her will to keep listening to him, but Douxie picked up on it, stopping to her dismay.
“Come on, Love,” He scooped her up as if she were a child, “Let’s get you to bed,”
He carried her to the tent, but stopped dead in his tracks at the entrance. Fuzzbuckets, he forgot about the no-blanket problem. Archie was going to stay awake and keep the fire going through the night, so the cold was no longer a problem, but the ground was going to be hard and lumpy. Their backs were going to be incredibly sore in the morning. Great. He’d let Y/n use his chest as a pillow. No hidden motives here, it was just chivalry. Once they settled into a comfortable and totally not weird position, they began to enjoy a peaceful night sleep to the sounds of nature. Which lasted half an hour before the tent decided that was enough.
It kept shaking, as if someone or something was assaulting it. But whenever one of them got out to fend off the attacker, no one or thing was out there. And Archie was out there, watching it, and he reported nothing unusual. So, maybe the tent they bought from a haunted store was haunted. Who could have predicted that. Oh well, it’s not like it was that endangering, just annoying. They tried their best to ignore it.
But haunted tent did not like being ignored. That lovely woodsmoke smell shifted into, something strange, like, diet blood? The sickly smell of blood but lighter, gentler, and faint. As if the tent wanted to scare them but wasn’t really into it today. Again, not really that endangering as it was annoying so they elected to ignore that also. Nari didn’t seem to be on board with that decision however, and left to go lay by the fire with Archie. Douxie was acutely aware of the head resting on his chest. He was trying his best to control his heart rate and was failing. There was no way Y/n couldn’t feel it. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could do this. Lady Fortune smiled upon Doux. The tent abruptly collapsed in on them.
***
So plan B was to find an inn for the night. After making sure the fire was out, they headed off into town on foot. It was eerily empty, nothing but the occasional car passing through town, but they were in middle-of-nowhere Missouri. The lack of nightlife at could be excused. It was two in the morning; most townies weren’t out partying. The traffic lights reflected off the pavement. It was odd seeing the lights run with nothing there at the intersection, like they were directing invisible traffic. As if there were ghost cars. Maybe they should just get out of this town actually. And they would have, if they weren’t so exhausted that they felt like zombies. Absolutely knackered.
There were exactly three inns in this dinky little town. One that was very fancy, in which they couldn’t even afford to stay in a broom closet at, one that was run-down and cheap, but full, and the last one, their only available option, which was somehow even more run-down and sketchy than the other. Just looking at the outside of it, it was pretty obviously haunted. Or it could be that the people who worked there were really committed to Halloween decoration and got an early start this year. Yeah. The man at the front desk wasn’t exactly a friendly character either. All in all a bit dodgy. Y/n was getting quite antsy, and not only from the creepy vibe. This was the last-resort inn, and with the other one full, there was a good chance that this one might not have the most ideal rooms available. And she had read enough cheesy fanfiction in her life to know exactly where this was headed.
Sure enough, the gentlemen at the front desk informed them that the only room they had left was in fact that famous room with only one bed. She’d snort if this wasn’t killing her inside. She quickly put up a poker face. Douxie balked at the information, but they were desperate, so he quietly accepted his fate and took the room key. Lady Fortune could be kind of a bitch actually. The journey down the hall was awkward as hell. Nari wasn’t sure what was going on, but she didn’t like the atmosphere. She looked up at Y/n and took her hand. Y/n smiled down at the forest child. Nari didn’t return the smile.
They entered the room and took it all in. The first noticeable thing was the smell. Not blood this time thankfully, but stale dust and mothballs. They could work with mothballs. Nari wasn’t visibly repulsed by mothballs. The carpet was sticky. It’d be best not to think about why. There was that cursed full size bed. The only bed left and it’s not even a queen. Douxie and Y/n weren’t even going to be able to have any distance between them. Douxie took a deep breath. There was a shabby little dresser with a tv from the 70’s perched upon it. You know the ones with the rounded screens, big dials, and bunny ear antennas? Y/n wasn’t even going to try turning that on. She got the feeling whatever was on the local channels was not something she’d want to see. She’d not even check the news station for the weather report. Whatever stories were newsworthy in this town was not something she wished to know about either. There was a small armchair in the corner. The floral fabric was torn, revealing that it had been reupholstered recently. Nari took a liking to it and curled up for the night. Archie joined her and got comfortable. Doux cursed under his breath. He had been counting on Archie staying in the bed with them, to make it less awkward.
Y/n was sitting on the edge of the left side of the bed, dragging her fingers through her hair. Douxie put some protective wards around the door. He’d ward up the windows too, but there weren’t any. It added to the suffocating feeling in his chest. Y/n added some purification spells to keep out any less-physical surprise guests. Walking over to the chair, Doux took off his jacket and laid it over Nari and Arch. They looked cozy. He was glad someone would get a good rest out of this. He was sure Y/n would too. It was just him with this bloody problem. He’s the fool who caught feelings here. He must surely be mad. She finished combing out her hair and snuggled under the covers. Guess it’s time for him to get in too now. In the bed. Next to her. All domestic and such.
It only took but a few seconds before Y/n was out like a light. All that sleepiness and such. Despite being the sleep deprived one here, he was wide awake unlike her. The moment the receptionist had told him there was only one bed left, it was like he took a double shot of espresso. Nervous energy, straight into his veins. He normally wouldn’t sleep like this, stiff as a board on his back, but he wouldn’t dare move. They were so close. She still smelled like the fireside, a welcome change from the staleness of the air, yet still a reminder of just her close she was. It was so quiet in the room, all Douxie could hear was the faint blowing of the vent and the pounding of the drum in his own chest. And her breathing, Merlin, he could hear her breathing. It was so soft. He unconsciously synchronized his own breath to it. He wondered how she looked right now, all cozy and asleep. Surely, she looked adorable. Maybe her hair was in her face. Perhaps she was even drooling. He dared not look over to see.
Lady Fortune cackled. Y/n turned over in her sleep, and latched onto Douxie. Oh fuzzbuckets, bleeding balroths, by Merlin, Mordrax’s miracles, fuck. She wrapped her arms right around his chest and nuzzled into it. His face was fire engine red. Whatever chill left in the air was now gone. Her soft hair was tickling his face. She was obviously still asleep right now, and thought that she was cuddling a pillow, or stuffed animal, or, or whatever she cuddled. What was he supposed to do about this? What the hell was he supposed to do. Did he cuddle back? He wanted to cuddle back. He couldn’t cuddle back. He took a deep, calming breath. He should just try to get her off. After, several attempts however, he realized that wasn’t going to happen without waking her up. And he did not want to wake her. He accepted his fate once again tonight. He could feel both his willpower and consciousness fading. Might as well enjoy these last few moments while they lasted, too. It could quite possibly be the only time he’d ever get to fall asleep next to her. In her tender arms. Getting to not just listen to but also feel her breathe. Truly a bittersweet thing.
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a/n 2: ha! here you go, not one but two glorious there’s only one bed moments. my rite of passage as a fanfic writer. stay tuned next time for oh my god they were roommates
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