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theold-ultraviolence · 1 year

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bestie, pls excuse how much time it has taken me to answer to you.

as I have previously told you, life is all over the place + on friday I got hit by the stomach flu and also right now, although my stomach seems much better, the energy isn't there, so sorry.

also don't mean to act like a creep, but do let me know if you enjoy 'the blind assassin' by margaret atwood, because one of my fave authors suggested it and I have been for ever curious about it.

first of all, I am glad you enjoyed the workout routine I shared! I felt like I had obviously to share it with a fellow 'fall out boy' friend and as I have previously said, I absolutely love the vibes from the personal trainer doing it! I am going to try to see whether there's a maneskin themed one! (also this incoming week is eurovision and I can't wait!).

also for the italian lessons: sadly my only comparison is english, as it is the other language I know well enough (I also know french but not that well and the other languages I know are... kind of... dead?) and I think that italian is definitely more difficult than english as it isn't that mechanic and verbs can be extremely troublesome.

still, once you get the ear for it, it gets better and you shall know that even us mothertongue speaker get things wrong! still, for anything, I am here!

ok elaena's sweatheart husband seems familiar to me (definitely handsome, like ma'am you bagged it. but also in my mind elaena is gorgeous so like... ugh) while I absolutely love may calamawy, as I loved layla in 'moon knight' and she is so pretty! aerion is (1) lucky boy and she definitely gives me the witchy vibes! (in the best sense possible).

"but thinking about his space being super vacant at first and slowly getting more and more cozy, the more you integrate yourself in it, is suuuuch a soft thought" and yeah, I agree! I do feel like he'd definitely be annoyed by messy stuff and things that aren't his own, so he finds it extremely strange as he softens at the thought of your small trinkets or products around his home. it's just like you are there, although you aren't there, yet.

and yeah, I think that he does lack a whole lot of experience and this might make him seem a bit awkward + closed off. like I am similar and I have to admit that I'd be the absolute most introvert person and might appear much meaner than I am. so, he'd definitely appreciate it, if you stuck around to actually get to know him further than the premises!

ok this is it! also I hope to be able to work a bit on the burlesque fic because I saw something and now have an idea for a scene, although I am going to need to finish the drabbles (can't wait to get to your own, because it's my guilty pleasures) and need to write a request!

with this being said, I hope you had a nice weekend and have a lovely week!

-🌗

PLEASE don't worry at all!! you know it takes me ages to reply so please, no shame in the replying late game bestie! also I hope you've fully healed by now of your stomach flu, dear! I'm so sorry to hear you were sick. Having stomach issues is the worst because eating is the best thing in this life.

And not creepy at all! I just started it and I'm enjoying it. I'm super intrigued by it because I have no clue as to how the plot is gonna turn out (in the best way possible). There's mystery and elements of sci-fi and the storyline isn't linear. So I'm already hooked with wanting to predict what it's all leading to! I'll definitely let you know if I liked it when I finish it!

On the workout routine, hell yeah I loved it, and love the vibes as well!! also, nothing to do with the workout itself but with FOB, I'm loving that the newest chapter of your burlesque fic is titled after a fob song AHH!! I'm so excited to read that one, and also to catch up on so many other fics (yours and others) that I've been bookmarking these days! seriously, fic titles inspired by fob hit different.

And thank you on the italian tips!! I do think it's super different than english but as a spanish speaker it's easier for me. A lot of the things are pronounced super similarily, but I'm struggling a bit with all the grammar rules, like, with accents and stuff! also some words are femenine in spanish and masculine in italian despite being so similar and that throws me off guard. Like, la torta (the cake) LA is femenine, and then in spanish it's el pastel (EL being masculine). There are better examples of words that are more similar but can't think of any right now ;sldjfalsdkjslkfj. Words that are more similar in sound and in writing.

OMG BESTIE, I'm thinking about changing Elaena's husband faceclaim lmao! ok the guy that I had chosen is from this series called SAS: Rogue Heroes. And Jack O'Connell is in it as well. Right now I'm going through a Jack O'Connell phase after watching Lady Chatterley's lover and that's the only reason why I want to change it up lmao, because I want to imagine him. I couldn't wait to reply to this to tell you that (I say this and yet I took so long in replying. Brains amirite?)

I'm so soft thinking about the, "you're there although you aren't, yet." I'm imagining him gazing longingly at all the little signs of your presence when you're gone, and him wishing you were there so bad it makes him YEARN. Maybe if you left like, a sweater or a shirt or if you slept in his bed, when he's feeling extra lonely he'd try to catch a whiff of your lingering scent to cope. AHHH just all the feels!!

Definitely feel you about coming off meaner than you are. It happens to me every time, and I think that's part of the reasons why I'm not clicking with the group I teach today. I'm just a very serious person!!! I swear i'm not being mean. Which is why it's extra special when people do stick around and look past your exterior. I definitely relate to him in this way as well!

Bestie once again I'm SO SORRY it took me this long! I like to sit down to properly write so I end up putting this off to when I have the time to do that! hope by now you're all healed from your stomach issues, and I can't wait to read your fics!! I swear that burlesque concept is giving me LIFE and I was so excited to see you updated. Also hope you're enjoying Eurovision!! have lovely day and rest of the week, love ya!! x

#🌗

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yournameyn · 3 years

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Feeling Deeply Chapter 5

Genre: Arranged Marriage Fic. Fluff turning into angst?

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Summary: The story of two deeply feeling nerds who find themselves in an arranged marriage. (Details here). Our OC is called Brishti. It’s a Bengali name meaning rain. Namjoon calls her Rim (short for her pet name, RimJhim which means the pitter-patter of rain). She calls him Joon.

Warnings: NOT THE NAMJOON OF OUR DREAMS. Argument. Fight over tiny discrepancies that turn out to be a huge problem. Domestic violence. Not a happy chapter.

A/N: Have you ever felt this, reader? When you watch something and realise exactly what you need to realise in that moment? I’ve had that so many times - seeing my feelings mirrored in a show. That’s something that I’ve tried to have Brishti feel here. Also, this is how I see the natural progression of this Namjoon, the one who obliged to duty rather than his dreams. It took me a long time to write this but I love what’s come out. Let me know what you think!

Current Chapter: London, late 1963. Love fully blooms between Namjoon and Brishti. And yet, something’s not right. A visit to the ballet and a conversation brings forth realisations. The inklings that Brishti was trying to avoid transform into writing on the wall.

Previously in Feeling Deeply: Preface Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5

The magic about new love isn’t really in romance or even in true intimacy. It’s in how violent new love is… and just how much time it takes us to feel it’s impact.

In the new love between Namjoon and Brishti, everything had been roses and honey, overflowing, swaying in a gentle breeze. They spent every second possible in each other’s arms. They had to tear themselves away from each other when they had to leave home. And even then, it hurt as though they were part of the same cloth.

Brishti had thought about how they had become woven, their souls an ornate tapestry. Namjoon had told her then about a Japanese tradition of weaving that was a sort of meditation and a kind of worship to a god called ‘Musubi’. The disciples say it is like being part of the cosmic tapestry. Being tied to each other.

“Just like we are… I felt a pull toward you and I followed it. I was scared… so full of doubts about who you were and how this was all going to go… I had promised myself that I would fulfil my duty… whatever happened ” Namjoon had said, petting Brishti’s hand gently, “And I… I still can’t believe it… It… you make me feel like I can… trust myself.” Brishti had looked at her genius then and wondered what a strange world it must be that made a man like Namjoon doubt himself, “Always, always trust yourself, Namjoon-ah.” and settled into the crook of his neck.

It was indeed a strange world that caused Namjoon to build an armour around himself. Because ‘London’ and ‘Lonely’ sounded just the same to him. His years alone in this strange place had been unkind, unrelenting. Brishti had been the only softness he had felt in a long long time. Armours built over years can break in an instant, though. For him, it was the moment when he and his wife had crossed the threshold to becoming lovers. High on the magic of new love, he had not realised it.

Sitting across from each other after that fateful evening, Namjoon and Brishti were both wide awake in the early hours of the next morning. Brishti buttoned up the shirt they never fully took off. Namjoon had tickled her with his toes. They propped their feet against the other’s to see just how vast the difference was (he melted seeing how small her feet were and hadn’t stopped playing with them since). Caressing each toe, he remembered something he wanted to ask -

“How did you know what Saranghae is?”

“Mm…” she stretched her arms, “I know what it means…” Brishti said.

“I know you know… from the way you… after I said it… You asked Yoongi about it?” Namjoon cautiously asked about the only other Korean Brishti knew. To his surprise, she nodded no, still denying him any information. Namjoon had to tickle her foot for the answer.

“Okay! Okay! Wait! Pleeeease!” Namjoon stopped and Brishti bent down to the bureau next to her bed and pulled out a textbook - LEARN HANGUL THROUGH ENGLISH. Namjoon looked more shocked than she had expected. “I asked Yoongi about the book-”

“You don’t need to Rim… I’m not learning Bangla, am I?” Namjoon said. He was touched but he didn’t want his love to do anything he couldn’t reciprocate.

“I would have asked you to learn it… if I wrote poetry in my mothertongue...” Brishti said. Namjoon was shocked. She went on, “You really think I didn’t know?”

Namjoon blushed and smiled and flopped over in Brishti’s lap. She brushed his hair as she explained, “You light up at the mention of lyrics and poetry, you keep a notebook by your side at all times, you’re moved by the things that people usually don’t pay attention to… I know you’re a poet, Joonie.”

Namjoon looked up at her and said, “No one has ever called me that…”

Brishti leaned down and kissed her gorgeous husband. “You are... From what I know, I bet all my books that you are a great one... And… I… I would love nothing more than to be part of your world of words, Joonie… It must be strange… to be understood but in a foreign language. If you would let me, I want to understand you in your language… Do you think that’s something maybe--”

He got up and all but jumped on Brishti, pinning her down to the bed with the cutest puppy-yell she had ever heard. “Yes! Of course, yes!”

They both understood that this was a proposal. The truest kind - a gentle request to explore Namjoon’s universe. They would later joke about how she proposed to him after a month of being married. Namjoon was completely delighted by this person with him, his person… one who really saw him.

He pulled her to him saying, “You’re the best part of my world, Rim...” and kissed her.

Each moment of love flowed through the next. When they had to be separated, they couldn’t wait for the next one, their moment again. On weekends they would visit museums and find their favourite paintings and sculpture or their favourite prehistoric relic and animal. Brishti hated the fact that Namjoon had to work overtime to compensate for these weekends and she often voiced how unfair it was.

In response Namjoon would just give her a peck and say, “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” This pricked her but she was too taken by the man before her to pay heed to it.

Namjoon was just about able to keep a straight face at work but everyone around Brishti was acutely aware of how much she loved Namjoon.

At one point, her colleague and best friend, Min Yoongi had yelled at her, “Yhaaaaa! Stop blushing?! It’s just a clock… what could be romantic about a clock?!” Sayuri-san, and she were hanging around Yoongi’s table when Brishti looked at his new flip clock and started blushing.

Brishti laughed along with everyone else but explained, “It’s involuntary… that’s what happens when you’re married to a poet.”

Sayuri-san corrected, “I know too many wives of poets to know that’s not necessarily true… It is true though, when you’re in love with a poet… Go on… tell us how exactly poet Namjoon makes you blush about a clock...”

Brishti blushed even more at that. Yoongi rubbed his arms and demanded, “Tell us because there’s some really weird things coming to my mind… like you guys have an exact time when...”

Brishti stopped his imagination, “No no no… it’s nothing like that… he loves digital clocks... because he loves to watch the time turn to 00:00… zero o’clock he calls it… and on days he feels sad, it’s like zero o’clock is always there to comfort him… like it’s a point when the whole world holds its breath and he can feel happy again… but these days… with me… he said he wants the clock to keep going after 23:59… he wishes time would stretch on… beyond 24:01…”

Yoongi sighed and sat back down, “You’re making me fall in love with Namjoon… ahhh that is beautiful. He should be published...”

“Imagine him saying this directly to you and you might know how I feel… I can’t stop talking about him...”

“Oh, we know. But honestly none of us care… your poet-librarian romance is getting us through our single-ness.” Yoongi reassured her.

The three of them continued to talk about the ways in which Brishti could repay Namjoon’s wordsmithing in graphic ways.

It was that evening, wasn’t it, when Namjoon had enveloped her back in the warmest hug as soon as he’d entered their flat. Brishti was in the kitchen when she heard him enter but hadn’t expected this. He kissed her neck while telling her the good news, “We got our first Korean client today… because of me… Mmmm… Why do you always smell so amazing?”

Brishti turned around and hugged him again, “That’s amazing! Namjoon-ssi! I’m so proud of you!”

“He’s from a wealthy family… so he can actually afford our firm… its not exactly the work I wanted to do--”

“It is a step toward that idea, right? It’s still good work, fighting for justice?” Brishti asked, stopping him from undermining his own work.

Namjoon nodded, “Yeah… He’s a dancer… Park Jimin. All the posh types know him as one of the best dancers in the Royal Ballet. They call him Jim… as if it’s too difficult to say Jimin?” Namjoon shook his head in disapproval. He began helping Brishti with the chopping and continued, “He was born in the UK and trained since he was 5... He got into the Royal Ballet but he’s been passed up to be a principal over and over even though everyone who has seen him dance apparently knows that he’s far far better… So recently he spoke to the director there... and of course the director made a racist slur and asked not to bother him with this again. He can’t even quit and work at another company because of the contract they have him on. There’s a non compete clause… meaning he won’t be able to dance with any other company. That’s all he wants… to be able to get out of that contract… I’m hoping to convince him to press charges on racial discrimination too. We’re not in the 20s anymore.”

When Brishti didn’t respond, Namjoon looked up at her. “That’s horrible… I’m so so glad you’re taking up the case. But please tell me what you ate when you were alone?” He looked down at the carrot he’d been failing to cut.

Namjoon scrunched his nose and admitted, “Canned food mostly.”

Brishti said, “I’m really really glad you’re getting to do work that you are passionate about, Joonie, you deserve it. Now, you should know how to cut a carrot.”

Namjoon pressed up against Brishti’s back. She reached back up to the nape of his neck and made him moan into her. Then… then Namjoon made her forget how to cut carrots.

He had these ways… Namjoon, with his touch, his voice, his languages both spoken and soundless. He was lighting new paths into her self. She loved learning him. Paths she didn’t know existed, that she’d been longing for.

The scars of the loneliness, emptiness that Namjoon had experienced had turned his longings into a kind of starvation. He needed to be nourished and also devoured. Brishti was just the creature to do it. He could feel her warm fingers trace rows of pleasure onto his skin. He felt them bear down and singe when the two of them had to move away from each other. He felt those ropes tug at him as the end of his workday neared. Namjoon closed his eyes each night at her touch, the feeling and fragrance of her body. He felt blooms of intimacy spring up like seedlings out of the soil of his skin. And deeper. In the earth of his soul. So he did the only thing he could. Reciprocate. Namjoon sowed his love, his desire, his need onto her, into her every night.

There were times, though, when she would feel his absence in the middle of the night and see him working in the dim light of a lamp. She knew he had to work hard to do what he wanted but she also saw he had to continually prove himself to people who weren’t even paying attention. The reason they weren’t paying attention was painfully clear to Brishti but she was yet to experience it’s full stab.

Namjoon wanted to shield her from it. He was counting on an armour that didn’t exist anymore to protect himself and his wife… the reason he liked his life again. Whenever she came out and switched on a brighter light, reprimanding him for straining his gorgeous eyes, he saw that it did prick her - this world and the unfairness he had to endure. She would say something small, an almost-complaint that alerted him… against her for some strange reason. She would say something that would be easy to ignore and yet would prick him, like - “I don’t know why they haven’t promoted you yet.” or “Why haven’t they taken up Jimin’s case yet? You’ve worked so hard on it.” Everytime she did that, he would have to pacify himself.

‘I’ve told her so much about the Jimin case… she’s just really invested’ Namjoon thought to himself. Just so he would avoid thinking, ‘I shouldn’t have told her.’

He would have to calm himself, give her a peck and try to convince her to stop worrying. “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” Namjoon would always say.

Then, Brishti smiled as she always did. While trying to understand why that sentence bothered her so much. After almost five months of exploring this wonderful man, some part of him still felt unfamiliar… like it didn’t fit in with the rest. Still, these things take time, she had heard from so many women over the years. Besides, she was blessed with a man far far above the norms. So, how could she prod? These are things Brishti had told herself - until the night she couldn’t stay silent.

The couple was coming up on their fifth month together and Park Jimin had gifted Namjoon a ticket to the final show of the season as a token of gratitude, for having heard his story.

Brishti was nervous about going to this kind of a gathering and had told her husband to meet her there.

She had enlisted the help of Sayuri-san to look appropriate for the event. Her slightly longer hair was clipped and her eyes were kohled. She wore a burgundy knee length fringe-ended dress that she had received from her gracious host, stylist and make-up artist - an inheritance of her brilliant life tucked into the black pearl beading and deco design. It was a big departure from the usual tie-die or band tees and jeans with her baggy coat. She had carried the coat but felt this strange sort of compulsion to stand in the cold air in the noodle strap dress, for him to see her.

She felt butterflies in her stomach and kept fiddling with the coat she had draped over her arm. It was electric when she saw him.

Namjoon looked gorgeous in a tux. All of Brishti’s nerves were soothed just by looking at him. He had brushed his hair back. Tall and dashing - better than any heathcliffe could ever be. And with his reading glasses, he looked like the lead of a romance novella that would make all the women swoon. Indeed she was swooning. Brishti was suddenly warm in the chilly, windy night. And when Namjoon saw her, blood rushed to her cheeks. Everything inside her was running helter skelter in a panic. Brishti felt everything drop in the few moments it took for Namjoon to reach the top of the stairs. Dolled up like this, outside of her element, she felt like an imposter. Some angel needed to be standing in her place. For the first time, feigning beauty, Brishti felt like she wasn’t worthy of her husband.

She was finally able to keep her feelings aside when he reached her.

Namjoon kissed her palm like a gentleman and whispered in her ear, “Let’s go home… I need a private kind of dance…” Brishti blushed. Namjoon put his arm around her and felt the chill that had settled on her skin. “Aren’t you cold? Why didn’t you wear the coat?” Namjoon asked. Brishti just shook her head no and the two of them walked in.

Brishti assumed that the ballet would be a welcome distraction from the storm that brewed within her. She had read up about the show, the piece they were going to perform -

Tchaikovsky’s venerated Swan Lake. The story of a young girl who falls in love with a prince who promises to save her but fails. Ofcourse there were finer nuances to the story but this was the basic plot. As the lights dimmed, Brishti felt pulled in by the music, the eerie beauty of it’s melody played in perfectly with the questions that were swirling around in Brishti’s mind -

Why do I feel wrong?

Is this what Yoongi was talking about? Anxiety…?

Why does Namjoon look so... different?

Why is he so quiet, so… distant…It’s like he’s keeping himself away from me despite being right next to me, arm in arm, like the true Namjoon is somewhere in a glass case? Deep deep beneath whatever this creature is who is next to me?

I’m thinking too much. No. What is this? Why am I feeling this way?

It’s the music… no its not just the music… something is fucking wrong because all I feel like doing is breaking that glass case that’s locked away My Namjoon and presented this fucking imposter. What the hell is going on?!

Brishti barely managed to keep it together. She kept her eyes on stage…

It was like seeing a moving painting being created by invisible hands and the music was the sound of the brushstrokes, amplified. Park Jimin was playing Rothbart, the owl-like magician who curses Odette into a swan until she finds someone who would promise to love her forever. The questions in her mind and the power of the spectacle before her forced her tears to keep flowing.

Namjoon saw Brishti cry and held on to her. But the more he tried to comfort her, the more uneasy she became, the more she coudln’t contain the tears in her eyes.

The curtain fell at the end of Act three when the prince realises he has been tricked. Brishti, somehow, mirrored his grief. The prince was cheated by Rothbart into believing that his daughter, Odile, was Odette. Rothbart relished his plan so despicably it made Brishti’s stomach turn. The prince had already declared to the ballroom full of people his vow to love and marry the maiden by his side - Odile, not Odette. Park Jimin played Rothbart so skillfully, so beautifully that despite being the villain, despite being covered from head to toe, he was the star. Rothbart giggled delightfully as he revealed to the prince that the girl in his arms wasn’t Odette at all. That Odette was waiting for her prince by the lake. The curtain fell as the prince felt the stab of betrayal and rushed to Odette.

Brishti rushed to where she did not know. She wanted to get away from Namjoon, from this feeling that she couldn’t understand, couldn’t explain. She was angry. She wanted to break something. Tears still flowing down her face, she found a corner that was hidden away in darkness. She went in. Brishti sat on the couch there, for what seemed like eternity, breathing heavily. Nothing made sense. It felt like her insides were twisting into each other. Suddenly, though, a door creaked open and out came an angel. A man, glowing, having just freshened up. He saw her, saw her fear and instead of pulling back in shock, approached with a strange kindness. He held her wrist and stayed silent for a moment.

His beauty was also a kindness to her. In that moment, Brishti could breathe a little bit better. He sat down by her knees, on the floor and when he spoke, his voice flowed like a tonic, “First time at the ballet? It’s overwhelming… I know. You’re okay. You are safe. Rothbart is not here. Talk to me… what are you feeling?”

The tears kept flowing. This man was different, she knew he understood what she was feeling like. She felt safe, but not as if she was with a saviour, rather as though she was with another victim.

“What are you feeling…” Park Jimin repeated. The pieces were falling into place in her head. This is Park Jimin, the man who danced as Rothbart. The man who should have danced the Prince. Who should have played Odette and Odile.

“I feel… rage.” Brishti trembled as she spoke. She could breathe again.

“Yes… Rothbart is… evil… I’m sorry-”

Brishti nodded her head no. “At the prince.”

Jimin was surprised. “Let it out. You can scream in here and no one would know.”

Brishti didn’t need another invitation, but her rage wasn’t a scream, it was a whisper - “I want to hit the prince. How could he not now? He couldn’t see that that girl was not Odette? Is he blind? The way she moved, the way she danced… which only means… it means that the prince knew… somewhere he felt doubt but he… He couldn’t fucking trust himself enough?! I don’t know why this is breaking my heart… Why can’t people trust in themselves?! It’s a pathetic fucking excuse and I can’t buy it… I just can’t. Why did the prince...” Her hands covered her face as she wiped her tears. She composed herself.

Jimin pulled out a kerchief. “May I?” Brishti nodded and he dabbed her face with care.

“The prince trusted his sight more than his soul. And now, Odette will die because of it. As always, the woman pays the price.”

“He dies too, you know.”

“What a waste…”

Jimin smiled, “Thank you… for watching the show, for feeling it so much.”

Brishti managed a weak smile, “Thank you.” Jimin stepped away and sat next to her, at a respectable distance. “I’m being lied to.”

Jimin nodded, “I know what that’s like. I feel that rage against the prince too. And still, we must be kind to our liars.”

Brishti clenched her teeth, “Why? Where’s the fairness in that?”

Jimin moves away, in a dejected kind of daze and pours himself a drink, “That’s the biggest lie, fairness. Cruel joke.”

Brishti walked toward the door. “I should go… Thank you.”

Jimin raised his glass to her.

Brishti wore her coat and walked toward the exit. She found Namjoon in a panic and suddenly felt like she could reach him. He looked so relieved to see her. She couldn’t help but feel awash with love as he crashed into her in the warmest hug. It was as if he was the one who was lost.

“Are you okay? Why were you crying?” Namjoon asked her as he stroked her head and held her in the hug for as long as she needed.

“I need to ask you something.” Brishti whispered as she pulled away. They began walking down the stairs of the theatre.

“Änything.” Namjoon replied.

“Your firm… they refused the Jimin case, right?”

Namjoon froze. His jaw locked up. “Let’s go home.”

The rest of the way, neither of them spoke a word. They entered their home in a cold silence. They washed the night off themselves and entered their bedroom, which was completely devoid of the heat and desire that usually filled it right up to the ceiling. What used to feel like an ocean, now felt like a vacuum.

When Namjoon walked in, Brishti reminded him, as kindly as she could,“I said I need to ask you something. You said, ‘anything’.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about it.” Namjoon was cold again. Unfeeling. Unreachable.

Brishti tried her best to be calm… “When would you want to talk about it?”

Namjoon breathed in - “Why? Am I answerable to you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we disagree. I don’t think I am answerable to you. What would you have done if I wouldn’t have told you about it in the first place?”

“I would still be feeling what I’m feeling… I would be even more furious though.”

“Fu- why would you be furious? I have to work there, I lost the account. I’m feeling hurt and disappointed in myself and instead of helping me, you’re angry?! What the hell could you be angry at?!”

“I’m being lied to. I’m being tricked.”

“What?!” the contempt on Namjoon’s face made her head throb. He was angry now.

“There are two Namjoons here. I’m being told there’s only one and--”

“That is some philosophical trash that you learned from one of your books. Real life doesn’t work that way. But how would you know?! You don’t have a real job. You have a hobby. A hobby of stacking books in order. You’re just plain lucky that someone is paying you for your hobby. That’s not a job. You of all people cannot tell me about the things I have to do to keep my job. I have tried my best to be as honest as I can be--”

“As honest as you can --”

“Listen to me!” Namjoon thundered. His loud voice might as well have been a punch. It rang through her body and rattled her bones. She had tears in her eyes but clenched them down as Namjoon continued yelling, “Enough… enough with the fucking tears. What the fuck are you so sad about?! I don’t need you to pity me. I don’t need anyone to feel sad for me. I have tried to be a good man - do you even know how much other men don’t even mention to their wives?! I told you everything. EVERYTHING. And now I’m being punished for it. Time and time again I tried to console you… even though I was the one hurting… I tried to be there for you and tell you… as long as I have --”

Brishti couldn’t take it anymore “Don’t. Say that.” She didn’t yell. Her voice was just above a whisper and yet it sent a chill down Namjoon’s spine. She wiped her tears. “I didn’t ask to be consoled. I was just… curious. If a few questions from me hurt so much maybe you should ask yourself why. I’m not lucky that someone decided to pay me for my hobby. It’s nice to know what you really think of my job. But whatever you think, I created my job. I created my life. I fought to come to london. I fought for the right to earn--”

“Oh please... spare me the feminist lecture...” scoffed Namjoon.

“Sure. Take up Jimin’s case.”

Namjoon felt the burn of white hot rage. He wanted to strangle her. He was so used to touching her… and she was his… in this bedroom, he had made her his. He wasn’t thinking. Namjoon strode toward her and held one massive palm over her mouth and the other on her neck and pinned her to the wall. “YOU WOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THAT IF I DIDN’T TELL YOU.”

It took him a few moments to realise what he was doing. Brishti was shocked and tried to scream but no voice came out. She was trying to get him out of his daze when he finally saw her, saw his Rim, horrified… by him. Namjoon pulled his hands back instantly. He saw a red bruise bloom where his hands were - on her face and on her neck.

“This is how you make your conscience shut up?” Brishti’s voice was hoarse. “You think this has nothing to do with your conscience? With the best part of you? The part that you made me fall in love with? Are you really telling me you don’t know that this is why you can’t write the way you used to… You’re killing my Joon and asking me to stay silent. I can’t.”

The searing anger still hadn’t died and it burst out of him, “Why are we fighting like this… over Jimin… why don’t you take up his case if you fucking love him so much?”

“What do you think I’m doing right now?”

“You… Why are you fighting for him against me?!” It was here that Namjoon realised his armour was gone. The idea of who he is... suddenly vanished. And the one thing that had made him feel safe, like his true self, was slipping away. “You’re saying… just tell me… you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

Brishti did him the only kindness she had left in her, she explained, “Jimin wants to leave but can’t. He stays because he needs to dance. He stays because he cannot get out of his contract. You say you want to help people like Jimin, you roll your eyes at white people who can’t pronounce our names, you feel guilty for asians who have much less than we do… but then you also don’t raise an issue when your boss holds meetings in clubs where people of other races and dogs and women are not allowed. You work overtime for the privilege of weekends… You say you are trying but… as far as I know… you don’t have a non-compete clause in your contract, Namjoon.”

That hit him like an iceberg. Namjoon’s legs gave way and he just sat on the bed.

He watched as Brishti put on her coat and left, covering her bruises with a scarf.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6 - to be posted.

#bts kim namjoon #kim namjoon #forever rain #fanfic #namjoon fluff #namjoon arranged marriage #namjoon x oc #arranged marriage #slow burn #slow burn fic #fluff fic #bts fanfic #bts #indian oc #red thread fics

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nashibirne · 3 years

Text

Painkiller - 8

Here we go...the next part of Painkiller's waiting for you. I have to admit I've had kind of a writer's block lately and so this was hard work but eventually I made it and I hope you like it. And please believe me, their well-deserved happy ending is just around the corner, they need just a little more time...two chapters I guess.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Ella) Summary: double date / dinner for four, englightening conversations and foiled plans Read previous parts here: Nashi's Masterlist Warnings: RPF (!), that's it... Unbeta'ed! English is not my mothertongue, so expect wrong spelling and bad grammar Credits: Pics for the moodboard taken from Pinterest, Face claim Kelly: Pamela Reif Disclaimer: I don't know Henry Cavill, this is all fictional and wishful thinking taglist: (let me know if you want to be added or removed) @lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights

~~~

"That was delicious, Ella." Kelly gave her a smile while she leaned back in her chair.

"Thank you, Kelly."

"You really have to give me the recipe for the lasagna and especially for that mousse au chocolat."

Henry raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You can cook?"

Ella shared a glance with Jackson and she knew they were thinking the same. If Henry didn't know such basic things about Kelly it seemed they were really just starting to get to know each other.

"Um,yes...well...a little."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we could cook together tomorrow, babe. Have a cosy day in bed and a homemade meal." She beamed at him and Henry gave her a forced smile. Ella was sure he was suppressing the need to roll his eyes, his facial expression gave it away to her.

"We'll see, Kell."

There was an awkward pause and Henry appeared to be somehow annoyed and not for the first time. During dinner Kelly was getting more and more handsy with him and it was obvious that Henry felt bad about it. Ella was getting the impression that he absolutely wasn't madly in love with Kelly and this was not only a great satisfaction but also a big relief and it made her even more determined to find out what Kelly was up to.

Jackson cleared his throat. "Henry, wanna see my Alfa? It's a 1961 Giulietta Sprint Speciale, quite rare."

"Oh yeah, sure." Henry got up and Kelly was about to do the same when Ella stopped her with a smile on her lips.

"Why don't we stay and have a little chat Kelly? Just the two of us without the guys?"

Kelly hesitated but then she agreed.

"Yeah. Why not."

When Jax and Henry closed the door behind them, Ella gave Kelly challenging look.

"So?"

"So what?" Kelly crossed her arms.

"Do I really have to ask? Or are you just gonna tell me how you made this happen? Looking back, your words spoken in the restrooms of Gianni's sound like a prediction."

Kelly pouted but eventually she started to speak.

"It's like I said back then. He's a good catch and I want him..."

"As your sugar daddy?" Ella raised an eyebrow, Kelly shrugged.

"Sugar daddy, boyfriend… where's the difference? Listen, Ella, if I'd known that you, his female best friend, are his date from back then I wouldn't be here tonight. I'm not looking for trouble…"

"But you are in trouble when you're trying to take advantage of my friend."

"Friend." Kelly snorted.

"Yes, friend. A close friend, a dear friend and you're playing with him but he's not a toy."

"I like to play and usually I'm the toy." She giggled.

Ella rolled her eyes and looked at Kelly darkly. "How did you get his number in the first place?"

"If you really have to know, Gianni, the owner of...well...Gianni's...he is my ex. He's the impotent bore I told you about. He threw me out and told me to go to hell a few weeks ago after he caught me with my trousers down with one of his waiters." Kelly explained. "I remembered Henry, to be honest I had the hots for him since I saw him at the restaurant with you and you said you and him were just friends...so after Gianni broke up with me I looked up his number in the guest register, and then I called him…"

"Pretending you dialled the wrong number."

"I could hardly tell him that I stole it from what's known as the most discreet restaurant in London"

"Right. And then you started dating?"

Kelly looked at Ella with a thoughtful frown. "Are you gonna tell him all this?"

"Would you admit it's true?"

"Of course not."

"See. I'd love to tell him but I'm quite sure you would manage to make me look like a crazy, jealous bitch…"

"Oh, I would. You can be sure of that…" Kelly gave her a wicked smile.

"I just want to know what you're up to. I don't want Henry to get hurt…" Ella faked a smile. She wanted to yell at her so badly, she wanted to force her to tell Henry the truth but she knew she had to play it nice to make her open up.

"Well, it was just booty calls at first. We just met for casual sex. Henry, he didn't want more, because he, well...nevermind. Anyway, after that pap pictures the situation has changed a little and now he's willing to give it a try. So yes, now we're dating."

"Those pics. How did that happen?"

Kelly grinned. "Let's just say a friend of mine was at the right place at the right time…"

Ella gasped. This bitch really knew how to play the game.

"Don't worry about your dear Henry, Ella." Kelly's voice was full of sarcasm now. "I like him, he's a nice and funny guy. Sure, he's a boomer and a little boring but he's great in the sheets and he's gonna learn to appreciate the mutual benefits of our relationship."

The noise of the key in the front door interrupted them. Kelly leaned in to whisper one last thing into Ella's ear. "Oh, and in case you wonder...he is really big, I mean like...really." Kelly grinned before turning away.

Ella was so incredibly frustrated when Jax and Henry entered her apartment again, she had a hard time pretending to be alright for the rest of the night. There were so many questions left, so many things she didn't understand, it drove her nuts. She decided to keep her mouth shut to prevent herself from saying something stupid and of course Henry noticed it.

"Are you okay?" He placed his hand on her arm, giving it a gentle stroke and looked at her with a frown. "You are so quiet."

Ella took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze that Henry returned with a smile.

"I'm fine." She nodded reassuringly and enjoyed the little triumph that he got handsy with her instead of Kelly. Actually it was absolutely typical for him, he was a very tactile person, not only with Ella but with his friends in general. So it was even more surprising that he didn't like to be in close contact with his date. "I'm just a little tired. I had a tough week." She avoided looking him in the eyes.

"Yeah, me too." Henry's lips curved up into a lopsided grin and he gave her a wink that made her heart skip a beat.

An hour later Henry and Kelly were gone and Ella and Jax were doing the dishes after Ella had put her best friend in the picture about the things Kelly had told her.

"She's lying. They're not really dating." Jax said, doing the drying up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean they're not really a thing. Henry kinda said it when we were outside."

"Kinda? Could you be a little more precise." Ella looked at her friend with big eyes.

"Well, I asked him if they're planning on going insta-official or something with their relationship and he denied it very insistently, pointing out that they are totally not in a relationship. And I was like, yeah, but you guys are dating and he was like...not really."

"Oh wow...and?"

"And I asked what he meant and Henry said that it actually was just a sex thing -so that much is true- but after the pics in the yellow press Kelly's the one who now wants to date and he told me he's unsure if this is the right thing to do. He said he has second thoughts because it feels wrong and when I asked him why, he looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and said I think you know why, Jax, you know who's on my mind."

Ella now stared at him, mouth agape. "What did you answer?"

"I said that I very likely do know and then your neighbour Walter came and joined us and the conversation was over."

"Shit."

"Yeah." They both stayed silent for a moment. "Elsie, you know that you are the reason he doesn't want to date Kelly, don't you?" Jackson turned to her with knitted brows.

"We don't know that. Not for sure."

"Yes and we never will if you don't do something. Jesus, woman...you are this close to losing your perfect match to some creepy gold digger...will you really just stand there with your hands in your pockets and do nothing at all?"

"What can I do?" Her frustration was palpable.

"Just tell him how you feel, that you're in love with him."

Ella let out a snort. "That's not so easy."

"No, it's not, but there's no easy way out of this mess."

"Yeah." Ella took a deep breath.

"So what's the plan? You're gonna ask him to meet you tomorrow so you can tell him?"

"I can't. I have to unpack a ton of parcels with new books tomorrow. The store is a mess and it has to be tidy on Monday morning." Jax raised his eyebrows sceptically. "Really, I'm not using this as an excuse." Ella sighed with frustration.

"Okay, actually that's perfect. Ask Henry to help you and then you can declare your love for him…"

"I don't know…"

"Elsie, I'm not gonna let you chicken out of this. Pull yourself together and get the guy for fuck's sake."

Ella couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay. I'm going to call him first thing tomorrow morning. Fine?"

"Fine."

****

While Ella and Jax were drawing up a battle plan, Kelly and Henry were on their way back to Chelsea where Kelly lived and trouble was brewing.

"Why did you have to be so distant?" Kelly asked accusingly. "You made it look like you wouldn't want to touch me."

"Yes, because I don't like it if you're all over me in front of my friends. It's rude and inappropriate. I mean, you're not my girlfriend or something it wasn't even a real date..." Henry snapped.

"Oh...really? You have touched me quite a lot in the last weeks for not being your girlfriend."

"That was different and you know it."

"Yeah, because your beloved Ella wasn't around when you fucked me. At least not physically. I bet you thought of her when you were balls deep inside of me."

"Don't even start, Kelly. I won't let you talk about Ella that way. No disrespect, okay?" His voice was tense and it was obvious that he was trying to restrain himself.

"No, of course you won't." Kelly looked out of the window with a pout. For several minutes none of them said a word but then she turned to him.

"Listen, Henry, I'm sorry. I know what she means to you and I understand that you want to keep this...us...low-key, but it's kinda hard for me when you treat me like you don't even want to be in the same room with me. Please tell me if I did something wrong and I'm never gonna do it again."

"You did nothing wrong. I just don't want to be so touchy-feely when Ella's around."

"Okay, baby, and I just want to make you happy. Happier than she ever could. I don't care about your job, your fame or your lifestyle. I like you just the way you are..." She let her hand run over his thigh, brushing it lightly over his crotch. Henry looked at her with a blank expression.

"She doesn't want you, Henry. You know that. But I do." She purred, starting to massage his dick through his jeans and Henry couldn't help but moan and get hard under her touch.

"Kelly...I don't think I can give you what you're looking for…"

"Oh, I'm sure you can, babe. Just let me take care of you and make you forget about Ella."

The next morning Henry awoke with a jolt when his phone started to ring. He grabbed it and went to the bathroom, Kelly was lying in her bed fast asleep. He hadn't planned to spend the night with her but she had been very convincing and he had to admit the sex had worked wonders. He had been able to let off some steam and to finally get a good night's sleep. He was surprised to see that it was his agent calling. 8 am on sunday morning, this had to be urgent.

A few minutes later Henry put on his clothes before he sat down beside Kelly. He carefully placed a hand on her shoulder and started to shake her gently.

"Kelly, I have to go."

She groaned and turned on her back, eyes still closed. "Why.." she asked sleepily.

"Nothing to worry about, just business. I'll call you later to explain."

"Okay." She yawned and patted his cheek. "Love you babe."

Henry's body stiffened. That wasn't what he wanted to hear. Not from her.

"Bye." He got up and left in a hurry, feeling like shit. This was all so terribly wrong, he wondered if it could get any worse. It was good that a little break was lying ahead of him.

****

Two hours later at the other end of the city, Ella took a deep breath before she called Henry. The plan was simple: call him, ask him if he was willing to help her, wait for a good opportunity and tell him about her feelings and the truth about Kelly. She was determined to make a clean sweep of this whole mess and to lay it all on the line.

"Good morning." Henry's deep voice greeted her friendly.

"Morning, Henry. I hope I'm not interrupting something."

"No, absolutely not. It's good to hear your voice."

He made her blush, even on the phone and she rolled her eyes at herself with a smile.

"I'm glad to hear that." She chuckled. "Listen, Hen, I wanted to ask you a favour. I have so much work to do at the shop today and I really need a helping hand, so I was wondering if you would want to help me. It's just clearing away some new books...but with you I would be much faster and we can spend some time together and talk…" Ella cleared her throat.

"Oh, Ella, I'd love to but unfortunately I can't. I have to go to L.A. I'm just packing my stuff and gonna head to the airport in an hour. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be. It has to be important if you have to go at such short notice."

"It is. My agent called me this morning. The appointments were originally planned for next month but they were rescheduled to next week. We're gonna talk to some of the studio bosses about upcoming projects and such."

"That's great, Henry. I know you've waited for this opportunity quite a while now." She was genuinely happy for him and it made him love her even more.

"Yeah, now I just have to convince the right people to include me in the right projects." He sighed and Ella knew that under his superman surface Henry was insecure and full of self-doubt often.

"You're gonna blow them away, Henry. You're such a great actor and such a wonderful person. Everybody loves you."

Suddenly there was an awkward silence.

"Everybody?" He asked softly.

Ella was at a loss of words. It was absolutely out of the question to confess her feelings for him on the phone only hours before he had to leave the country for who knows how long.

"Sure." She said with a strange undertone that was almost giving her away. Change the subject! "Is Kelly going with you?"

Henry let out an amused snort. "Of course not. It's a business trip. And she's not, well...my girlfriend or something. I...I said this to Jax already, we're not even really dating, it's just…"

"Sex?"

Henry took a deep breath. "Exactly."

"Are you sure she knows that?"

"No, I'm not. She should, because that's what I keep telling her but she's somehow deaf to that sort of thing. Maybe it's a good thing we take a break now."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure. Two weeks maybe."

"So you will be back for my birthday?"

"I hope so."

"So do I. I'd hate to spend it without you but if you can't make it, we can easily take a rain check and celebrate when you're back."

"A party for just the two of us? Sounds even better than joining your actual party." Ella was able to hear the smirk on his pretty lips.

"Oh shut up." Ella laughed out loud. She lowered her voice then, sounding serious all of the sudden. "I'm going to miss you, Henry. A lot. Just come back soon safe and sound, okay?"

"I will. As soon as possible and in one piece. I promise, baby."

~~~~

tbc

#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill x ofc

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miastideclock · 4 years

Text

3RACHA Reaction To Their Girlfriend Speaking A Different Language

heyyy? could i request a 3racha reaction to their gf being from a diff country, and how theybreact to her talking her native language on the phone or when she's upset or something??? thank youuu

hEAVY WARNING, i speak NONE of these languages fluently, so like- bear with me, and please let me know if I’ve made any mistakes ehehe thanks y’all, i like barely understand two of them, ehe

Major thanks to @stoysolaxd for helping with the Spanish part!

CB97 (Bang Chan)

NORWAY

Sitting in the studio while your boyfriend was working was one of your favorite pastimes, which worked out quite well, as that was where Chan spent ninety percent of his freetime. You sat on the floor, your back leaning against the couch, your arms resting on the coffee-table in front of you as you noted on the pieced of paper you had.

“What do you think?” Chan asked after a few minutes of silence, turning around to look at you. The sheet you had at your hands, was lyrics and notes Chan had written, waiting for your approval.

“I love it, I absolutely do. Just give it-” You started, but your phone soon went off. You quickly apologized to Chan and picked up, seeing as it was your mother. Chan instantly nodded, it not being a problem. It was a very casual studio session, so there was no hurry or stress around anything.

You greeted your mother, who cut right to the chase, asking if you were bringing Chan home for christmas.

“Ja, jeg kan snakke med ham om det. Okay, mamma- men har du tenkt på at kanskje han vil feire jul hjemme? Nei, det er greit, jeg skal spør han senere. Vi snakkes senere, glad i deg.” *”Yeah, I can talk to him about it. Okay, but mum? What if he wants to spend Christmas at home, did you thing about that? No, okay, I’ll ask him later. Talk to you later, love you.”

Chan had told you this before, but it never stopped being the truth- he could listen to you speak Norwegian forever. The way you rolled your r-s and how different it sounded to both Korean and English. He also admired that you could speak so many different languages so effortlessly.

After you hung up, you turned to look at your boyfriend looking at you with a dreamy look in his eyes. “Are you okay?” You asked him as you placed your phone back in your pocket and got to your feet, walking over to him.

“Yeah. I just can’t believe I’m dating a bilingual queen.” He said, smiling, making you laugh.

“Actually, there is something my mum asked about.” You started, sitting down on his lap as he had leaned back in his office chair. He hummed as a way to make you continue. “She wants so meet you. You have any plans for Christmas?”

Chan turned his head so he was looking directly at you, his jaw having dropped by now. “Really? She wants me there?” His words were happier than you had ever heard them before. You nodded with a chuckle, pulling your phone back out and going onto SnapChat. You quickly snapped a picture and started typing.

“Han sa ja. Plis vær greie når vi er der!” *”He said yes. Please be good when we’re there!”

SPEARB (Seo Changbin)

GERMANY

The couch in the studio was the most comfortable thing you had ever sat on, which was great, since you seemed to find yourself here all the time. Especially now, right before a comeback. You would spend day and night in here, helping Changbin and the boys.

But today, it was only the two of you. He was sat reading over some note she had gotten from another JYP producer, trying to figure out who he could incorporate that into their new song.

“Babe, it’s been a few hours since we last ate. How about I go down to that place you like on the next block, and I bring back some food to enjoy while we take a little break?” You suggested after a few minutes of silence. He looked at you with a smile and nodded, about to say what he wanted, but was cut off by your phone blaring a familiar ringtone. You quickly excused yourself to answer it.

“Hey, ist es wichtig? Ja, ich bin gerade mit meinem Freund im Studio. Kann ich dich zurück rufen? OK, tolle! Tschüss!” *”Hey, is it important? Yeah, I’m at the studio with my boyfriend right now. Can I call you back? Okay, great! Bye!”

It had been one of your friends from back home, but you could call them back later when you walked to the shop. When you turned back, Changbin was looking at you with a big smile. You gave him a look, essentially asking him what he was smiling about. But without him having to say anything, you connected the dots.

i’ve connected the two dots, you didn’t connect shit i’ve connected them

You and your boyfriend had talked about it time and time again, that he loved listening to you talk in your mothertongue. His biggest dream was going to Germany with you, and listen to you order dinner, talk to you family, or just listen to you sleep-talk in german.

“You sound good, baby.” He smiled, and right after those words left his lips, his eyes lit up.

“That’s it! The backing! The speaking- who says it has to be in Korean?! They should be in german! Babe, you could do that, right?” He was ecstatic, so much so that you completely forgot how nervous you got in the booth- but that was a problem for later. Right now, you and your boyfriend decided to go to the restaurant and eat there, as a way to get their mind completely refreshed.

J.ONE (Han Jisung)

SPAIN

Jisung had been sitting in the studio since this morning, not having gotten the chance to eat, promising himself he would as soon as he got the track just perfect. But being the perfectionist he was, he had issues with that.

Luckily for him, he had you as his girlfriend, who always made sure he was okay. So as soon as you realized he hadn’t eaten or drank any water in what is presumably way too long, you went to town.

You picked up different types of meats and carbs, not knowing what he was in the mood for. When you had gotten back, he was in the bathroom, so you took the opportunity to make the spread pleasing to the eye. You used the coffee table in the room, and placed the different dished out, making it look as yummy as you could.

“Oh hey, I didn’t realize you were back- Woah! What’s all this?” Jisung spoke as he entered the room, not seeing the table at first.

“Well, I didn’t want my little musical talent to go hungry, so I brought you a little something.” You smiled, proud of the presentation.

“First of all, never call me that again ew. Second, this isn’t a little something- this is a buffet!” He said, making you laugh at both his first and second statement. He then hugged you tightly, thanking you from the bottom of his heart. You hugged him back, letting your head rest on his chest.

However, your moment was ruined when your phone started ringing, the sound coming from your purse. You pulled away from the hug and saw it was your co-worker. You quickly picked up, already being asked if you could cover their shift.

“Oye, acabo de ver tu mensaje. No puedo hacer eso ya que estoy en Corea en este momento, visitando a mi novio. Lo siento. ¡Vale adiós!” *”Hey, I just saw your message. I can't do that since I'm in Korea right now, visiting my boyfriend. Sorry. OK, bye!”

You then hung up, placing your phone back in your purse. “Let’s eat!” You spoke, sitting down on the floor by the coffee table, not caring for the couch. Jisung followed suit, giving you a grin as he did so. “What?” You finally asked.

“You’re so hot when you speak Spanish.” He grinned, making you chuckle and roll your eyes. He had told you this before, so it wasn’t anything new.

“Just eat you dork.”

Hope you like it!!

-Bentley

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youmustbestrongernow · 3 years

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Hi, I am sorry I just saw one of your answers to that one ask and I have something to say to that. I really hope I am not intruding, rude or anything. I just don't know with whom I can talk about it. And you always seem pretty nice.

The thing is I grew up in a pretty heternormative world. So I always assumed that I am straight. There just was not another option. But since a few years I started guessing. Guessing that I might be bi? But that just doesn't really seem to fit. And I know one doesn't need to label themselves (I don't know if you have a label for your sexuality? It kinda sounded like pan but I am apologizing if I got that wrong. English is not my mothertongue, so mayhaps I misread!).

Because I don't think that gender plays a role in my attraction. I do think I just fall in love with a person (I do also think that I am demi).

And I don't know the point of my ask. But I needed to let it out.

Do you label yourself? Because I think that would give myself security, if I do know. But I also know a lot of people who say that pan is rude and the same as bi and unnecessary.

ah am i nice? i like to think i am, and you’re not intruding. seriously ,like i think just the awareness that it might be an intrusive question always softens it somewhat, because it clarifies the intent, you’re just asking a question, not demanding and that’s fine.

but also didn’t we all, well i did at least, i would say i was surrounded by a heteronormative world until i got to sixth form (16), i knew i wasn’t straight or anything, and i knew there were other options, although what i knew then was limited. like i didn’t have a lot of access to resources to educate myself otherwise. and still being surrounded by everyone else who was, didn’t have me shouting it from the rooftops or anythign. being different in school is never what you want so i get that.

still it’s good to guess and figure yourself out and you can change that label as much as you want as you learn about yourself, but you’re right i am pan, for me it’s always about the person, regardless of their gender. like i said last night there’s things i sometimes like in different genders, but that doesn’t change the way i fall in love. i am also very very demi, and that one i figured out a bit later, the pan thing was just like yeah that’s me, but the demi thing was like woah, a proper moment where it all clicked.

but there doesn’t need to be a point to your asks, just let it out, it’s so good to kind of talk yourself through it, that’s what my answers always are, like well done for understanding what i was getting at last night in my rambly way, especially if english isn’t your first language, because i know i was barely making sense (i was weirdly tired and wide awake)

but i do label myself pan, when the opportunity arises (like i have a little pan planet sticker on my laptop right now that i can see) but yes if i was describing myself that would be one of my labels. i feel like i have a lot of things that i am and sometimes i worry that it’s too much, but to be honest i’m at a stage in my life where i don’t care, i can be who i want, who i am you know? so i think if it gives you security you should use it, you clearly want to. i’m lucky that i don’t know anyone like that, or if i do they’ve never had a go at me. but if people are rude about who you are they’re the bad guys, you’re not wrong you know? even if you don’t feel strong enough to argue with them, it doesn’t take away who you are, i believe you when you say you’re pan

#like seriously you (or anyone) can come talk to me about this shit #whenever you want #like i'm not particularly wise or anything #but i like to think i'm super supportive #and will always cheerlead you on your journey's of discovery #or just listen as you figure yourselves out #i dunno it's kinda cool that you came to me #Anonymous #ask theo

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magnusbanesglitter · 4 years

Text

tag game

i was tagged by @hopefish15 💜 as always i appreciate you always think of me for this games thank u 🙏🏻

How are you feeling today? ive been in a weird mood since last week, we are leaving the quarantine bit by bit, we are allowed to take a walk or exercise outside during certain hours but i cant bring myself to leave my house... i think im afraid to go out, and to go back to normality. ive been feeling a lot of apathy towards things i love like reading or watching movies uggh sorry for the rant, its just a weird mood i guess??

What is the best thing that happened in 2020 to you so far? hmmm discovering BTS definitely... if it wasnt for them i dont know how i would have made it through this mess, also, im making so many friends thanks to them so thats a huge PLUS

Favorite song at the moment? wildflower by 5sos is my song of the day

Last movie you watched in the cinema? five feet apart (i cried a lot, the book is great if you want to give it a try)

Favorite movie? lets say its mulan (the 1998 cartoon version) just because i watched it again last week and i just love it so much

Favorite TV Show? jeez game of thrones if you dont take into account its last season lol

TV show you’re watching currently? the last one ive wacthed is the mandalorian, it was good, baby yoda all cute, and it was all proper star wars content like the old days

Dream job? i only ask for a job that pays me fairly, with a decent working schedule and holidays

What languages do you speak? spanish (mothertongue), english and a bit of german

What languages do you want to learn? italian and korean

Dream vacation? korea, japan, new zealand, australia, phillipines... just a trip around the world

If you could listen to one album for the rest of your life, which one would it be? uuggghhh dont do this to me wtf hmmmmm fine line, lover, love yourself, map of the soul, wings or youngblood... i know i didnt choose lol i just cant

What song got you into Kpop? black swan by bts, im pretty new to this, i heard it in january on james corden show for a performance and i just fell in love with the vibe of the song, and the choreo got me so shook, so yeah thats how everything started

Are you currently watching Kdramas? What was you last Kdrama? my last one (and first one) was itaewon class, im thinking about going for crash landing on you or extracurricular

Your ultimate Kpop party song that brights up your mood always? cypher pt 4 is THE SONG

Last song you listened to? im listening to hope world right now

What’s one thing you have most in common with your bias? hmmm i feel like i have more things in common with namjoon or yoongi, with taehyung maybe being extra sensitive, flashes of great smart ideas that arent the norm and the love for art galleries and photography

im tagging @heavyinmyarms (i think you’ve already been tagged tho) cant wait to see yours 💜

#tag game #personal

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volturicangetit · 4 years

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Hello can i ask for the twilight asks sick masochistic lion und motorcycle. I really like you're blog it's like the best in the twilight community right now but the cullens are better than vultori my opinion. Sorry about my English it is not my mothertongue so sorry

Sick masochistic lion- What are your guilty pleasures?

Watching bad competion shows on netflix. Right now im obsessed with a “ blowers “ which is like masterchef but than for glassblowers. it’s cool.

Motorcycle- Have you ever fallen in love with a friend?

No. I mean, if never been like in love, maybe a crush but yeah. No the closest if been to that is having a crush on someone i knew a little. But never on a friend.

And dont be sorry for your english! Im also not a native speaker, so it doesnt matter!❤️ And the Cullens are cool too but they dont have the same drama and theatricality to them like the Volturi have. Idk im just a volturi hoe on the main.

#non fic related

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futurewriter2000 · 5 years

Text

Choose hate?

Through my years of living on this Earth, I have, as an 19 year old student in high school, realized, I believe, more than a 45 year old man or woman ever have.

I shouldn't have realized those things. I am only 19 years old. But I did and I learned many moral and right teachings of life.

It cannot be explained because people hate. People hate no matter what you write and if I write what I want, there will be so many misunderstood comments. Because here's the thing. When I read this book, this amazing book published somewhere around 1950s I believe, this was what was written :

"Communication is in the same class with the elixir of life and the philosopher's stone. It just isn't. You can't explain yourself to anybody. Never in this world. Or why you do something. Or what makes you tick. You can't ever point to something that happened to you and say- There! That's me. Right in therr. See? Now do you understand? Because nobody's going to. " - William Goldman

But here's the problem. We try. We try so hard to explain ourselves to people that we don't even see how much energy we put in it. It exhausts us almost to the max.

And then we are hated. Hated for trying. Hated for trying to bring out our truest selves. Whoever we are or at least trying to be, we are hated.

And in my whole 19 year old life I have been so disgusted by the hate people give. Not only to people but to animals, nature, beliefs etc.

And sometimes even if it is to someone who has done another wrong. A big amount of wrong that makes you furious and you go: "I hope he dies a horrible death."

Why would you want him dead? What would that do good to you? Who will fix the wrongdoing of that another person?

We have been thought when we do something wrong, we are punished. Is death really a punishment? Is it? Old people crave death when they are stuck on the bed with nothing but tubes and diapers and already grieving people surrounding them. Bad people are terrfied of death. Some, some not. Hitler commited a suicide. Why? Ask yourself why did he do it? Was it because he craved death at 56 of age?

No,it's becuase when you're at your lowest, you look for death as a salvation for your problem. Death? It's beautiful. You're not that person anymore. You're gone. And if I use the same example what were jews and victims of Hitler's horror left with? - Hate. Hate towards him. Does he care? No. He's dead. Whether if it's in "heaven" or "hell" or whether if he was recairnated into a plant or an ant. Do people know? No.

When we are left with hate, what do we do with it? We put it on anybody who is close to us. Strangers? Acqaintances? Colleagues? Friends? Significant other? Family? Children?

We hold the hate inside and don't know where to put it, whom ti give it too. Because we don't want it. When we hate ourselves, it's easier to distract yourself on pointing flaws in somebody else.

"She's fat."

"Ugly bitch."

"Whore."

"Pervert."

"Faggot."

"Retard."

And what saddens me is that all of those are words with a meaning. Those aren't just insults, they are words with a meaning.

Worse part of this is, we use it on our own friends as a joke, as a greeting- and it has affected us and our way of speaking. We cuss and talk like those are the only words in our vocabulary. Why?

"She is overweight."

"Unattractive female dog."

"Prostitute."

"Deviant."

"Gay man."

"A sick person."

The synonims. You read the first ones, you know they are insults. You read the synonims, the tone is different.

So yes, the need to call somebody names is an urge when you are furious, hateful but know that you're not only insulting them, you're insulting those people who are those.

Is being overweight a bad thing? It's not heathy, that's all. And sometimes not even that. Perfect body, hiding your flaws, everything you have ever read about loving yourself. Even those quotes. If they are cheesy and lame and unoriginal, they are still true. People are different. Their metabolism is different. The construction of their bones can be strong or weak. Genetics is a thing. Dietary problems are a thing. It's not only unhealthy, for some people having the perfect body is unhealthy.

I don't understand. The way people use words to verbally assult other people. "You fucking pig." Pigs are smart. One of the smartest animals in the animal kingdom. And yeah, you can say that as a way to tell a disgusting person off or or tell it as bullying. Which is a thing not only in high schools, not only in work places and not only on the streets as you walk by but everywhere. Everywhere is happening the same thing. Hate.

So you can say awful about the people who murdered, raped, caused genocides, bombed etc. but when you spread hate like that, you're the one who is creating them.

Yes, I cuss. Yes, I hate. It's the nature of all beings. But there is a fine line of hating and terror.

People do it all the time. Terrorize other people because they want to be respected and praised. Because they don:t want to feel the way they do. And I pity those people for they can't see the other side of the solution.

Yes, it's sweet to taste but is it reliving you or is it making you crave for more?

I have been thought how to hate. Maybe not directly but it was there.

"You can't associate with the Serbian people." - "Why?" - "They killed our people in Srebrnica."

You mean I can't associate with the Serb who was not even born in 1995. Hate the person who wasn't the part of the massacre? I can't be friends? Be in love? Be all the things that are out of my controls? Just hate them?

"Never give a homeless man money. He'll just spend it on the alcohol or drugs. They are all frauds. He should go work instead. A person who needs money will work. "

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he'll buy himself food. Maybe he can't get a job. Medically. Maybe from the background of which he was a victim. All in the maybe.

"Don't dance with him." - "Why?" - "Are you blind or are you just pretending?"

Honestly, for someone who saw their own mother being terrorized by my father, who was good looking and still is, can say that character is the only beauty I seek for in my partner. Always.

"She's dumb. She keeps failing the tests."

Why? Lazy? Easy-going? Always sleeps? Or is it undiscovered learning disability? Or mental torturing problems at home? Or any other mental sickness?

How can you be so sure on who is what? How can you hate on someone by looking on them? You psychic? You God? No. So stop pretending like you are. Stop spreading hate because you can't stand the hate inside of you. The more you mix the shit, the more it smells.

It's not just the hate on coloured people tho I honestly don't see the difference between the meaning white and black as they are only different colours but still colours.

Colour, religion, beliefs, background, looks, disability, language barrier, accent, body shape, hair colour and even a birth mark on the wrong part of your body. Everything is hated.

It's like a sick joke. How can people not see it? - "There is only one race in the world. The human race." - my sociology teacher

I bleed. You bleed. I knife you, you die. Is money gonna save you? Will the word "bitch" save you? Will your pride? Your ego? Your all so high reputation? Or is it a doctor? Who could have been a homeless person you were so terrified of giving your money to because either you needed it more than him to buy cigars or alcohol or whatever you landed your eyes on. Well, he starved and froze to death. So he is not near.

That's how life works. Whether you spread hate, more hate grows inside and around you. Whether thats from people or life itself.

But love and peace, forgivness, generousity... When is the thought of that? When a bad day goes by and you curse it, you decide to hate it? Why not think of what good can you do to turn it to its contrast?

Funny thing is that you're not the only one going through it but we do sure love to feel like we are the only ones. Like the world has turned its back on us. The world doesn't have a back. It's a weird rock floating in a space, which nobody knows what that is. Like the sun. Sun is a rock that is on fire.

Why bug ourselves with questions and problems we have no solutions for? Why don't you do what you love? It's not impossible, you've just been thought that. But look how many other people proved you wrong. Television is now normal. Radio is normal. To us. To the ones who were born with it. To people decades ago? Nah. People did the impossible all throughout the history. Not because of spreading the hate, telling people off, insulting them verbally or physicaly cuz that doesn't help. It's becuase they threw their hate aside and decided on something much more lighter. Hope. Dreams. Ambition. Goals.

So, I'm 19 years old. I am overweight. I cuss. I don't believe in God but I'm a born Muslim with a Buddha statue in my room. My English is better than my mothertongue. My best friend is a Serb. I listen to also black people music even if I'm a white person. I sing to it to it. I'm still a virgin. I am not ashamed of who I am.

I know the why and you don't. So go ahead, judge me hate me. It's easy. Decide to hate but know that I don't give a shit. I'm going to listen Your Peace by Jacquees, talk to my Buddha and change into my shorts to show off my thick thighs during the winter. I think I'm going to turn into a hippie as well.

Peace and love.

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temporoom · 5 years

Text

Continuation of my “TPN IQ test analysis” but this time it’s more about Norman

(*cough* and why he is such a great antagonist but that’s my opinion and we’re not here to talk about that *cough*)

(Also yes I put a gif cause it’s cute, it’s a serious post I assure you)

So here’s a summary of my deductions about Norman in my last post :

Norman just knows the answer. He sees the question and knows what is the answer, he doesn’t need to check the other possiblities. At the same time it means that he is the smartest of the three, but it also means that he’s not looking at all the possibilities around him, and if he applies that to his life, then he is actually trapped in this “just give the right answer” without thinking about other methods to find the answer. He is simply smart, but is also absolutely blind to any judgement.

To read Ray and Emma analysis based on the IQ test here’s the post, and I would recommend you to read it cause everything that will follow is based on that :

https://temporoom.tumblr.com/post/185792776008/analysis-of-norman-ray-and-emma-based-on-the

Now, let’s go further into how his thoughts process shape him (and also some part of this post is mostly me theorizing about his thought process, I’m not a specialist I’m just an art high school student passionate about narration in stories don't take my ideas for granted) :

WARNING : BIG MANGA SPOILERS, also English is not my mothertongue

Let’s continue from my last sentence in my last post :

If Emma will change her opinion easily through her deductions, and Ray can also change it as long as he is given the knowledge and reason to change it, Norman cannot change his opinions that easily.

Because he can’t change his opinions that easily, and he knows that, he is following others opinions blindly.

He wants to create a world for children because that’s what Emma proposed back in GF :

And wants to kill all the demons because he knows that’s what will please the lambda children :

I’ve seen great analysis about Norman taking up Emma’s ideals because he thinks his own are worthless. (Here’s my favorite Norman analysis and I just love them) And I do think they are right. But it’s even more vicious than that :

He is willing to take anyone’s ideals as long as it gives him an identity.

Norman is empty. He doesn’t have a will, he is defined by his surroundings and how they view him. And why that ?

Because he doesn’t trust his own self. He doesn’t trust his own decisions. And that’s from back in GF :

His mind is telling him that Emma’s ideal is morally better than his. And once his mind told him that : he cannot believe in himself anymore. And he won’t for the rest of the whole manga.

The answer he found about his life is that he will forever be morally wrong.

He will still believe that he has an answer to everything, but the answer to his own mind is that he is morally wrong. And like I mentioned, once he has an answer, this answer is obviously the right one for him and he refuses to check the other possibilities.

That’s also why he choses the Minerva persona : he doesn’t need it, he has enough charisma for not using it and practically everyone knows that he is not actually Minerva, he chooses it because it’s a way for him to avoid being Norman. It’s a way for him get away from his own self, the one he trusts the least.

If we all know that Ray used to despise himself to the point of preparing during 6 years a plan that will kill him, Norman might actually show one of the most impressive self-loath I’ve ever seen as he tries to erase his own identity.

By taking the ideals and beliefs of someone else, he can believes he can become someone better. Except that he is still himself, and since he doesn’t have any way to judge wether or not the ideals he chose to follow are morally right or wrong he can do some irredeemable choices. Especially in the demon world !

What probably kept him from becoming a bad person back in GF was the idea that he was living in the human world. And the human world has rules and a moral to follow. As long as he followed them he knew that he would live his life smoothly.

But once they discovered the truth, he wasn’t bond to those rules anymore. he can even consider murder to be an option.

And he had to take up someone elses moral and rules : and he chose Emma’s one because they were the closest to the morals of our own world (altruism and the community before the individual). Once he was shipped out, what kept him from losing this ideal was the idea of Emma’s ideal that was twisted with the lambda’s children ideal. And due to the idea that he had of Emma’s ideal, he chose the majority over the minority.

And he kept on chosing the majority over the minority.

Norman probably actually know the answer, he actually could definitely choose to go back to Emma’s answer. But he doesn’t do that because he already took upon the ideals of the majority. And this majority gives him something that his been longing for 2 years and that Emma won’t give him back :

An identity.

With his majority, he is William Minerva, he is a leader, and he is a savior. As long as he follow this role he play, he will have the Identity he craved for.

I think this is what this arc will be (partially) about Norman finding himself again. That he will stop to being Emma’s ideal’s vessel, that he will stop being William Minerva, and that he will go back to just being Norman. A young boy with his own view of the world.

And now I’m really sorry I said wouldn’t go there but can we talk about how great Norman is as a antagonist because I absolutely love that (and villains) and I need to talk about it !?

(I want to precise that as much as I feel like Norman is becoming an antagonist and that I absolutely LOVE it because I love well written antagonist you are not obligated to see him as such)

So, Norman follows a very specific archetype of villains (which was the same as Isabella and you can check a really good comparison of Norman and Isabella here) which is the :

Obliviously Evil or the “evil who does not realize that what they are doing is evil”

(Here’s the TVtrope link) And once you know this archetype you know how well it fits Norman. The Obliviously Evil is a type of antagonist who do not realize that what they are doing is evil, and they do not try to justify themselves, they just sincerely believe that what they are doing isn’t.

And why don't I put him in the Well-Intentioned Extremist ? (TvTrope link) Because even if he ends up becoming extremist, he isn’t aware of what he does.

He is extremist because the people he chooses as model are, especially since he can only grasp the idea that he has of those people and not who they might really be. And because his sense of judgement is blinded by his idea that his own ideal is inherently wrong, he does not realize that he isn’t following anymore any fundamental humans rules and doing the worst. Because it’s what the majority wants, and the majority shapes him.

Norman is not only not aware of his own wrong but his logic and way of thinking, the “I must have the answer” makes it so that he thinks it’s sincerely the good path. As much as Norman doesn’t trust himself, he’s still himself and since his logic tells him that “the majority is obviously right” then he doesn’t even consider any other possibilities.

Notice how it’s always Ray and Emma versus Norman’s group, who are a group of 4 people ! :

(Yeah this time I choose a nice “everyone is getting along” panel because we need it)

But the fact that he trapped himself in a certain way of thinking is reminding me of someone else :

Indeed, he does act similarly to Isabella : she trapped herself in believing that the only way to survive was to do what was told to her. But in the end, when the children escaped, she found the answer that Norman still can’t grasp even now : there’s always another option.

This is what Norman needs to get out of his antagonistic role : find out that he isn’t always right and that there is always another option.

Once he get out of his thoughts process, then he will finally know by himself what’s right and what’s wrong. He will finally be able to define himself without the use of a model. He will finally be able to embrace his own ideals, and not what his logic told him to follow.

Norman’s problem is that his thoughts process is already more similar to a computer than a human, and he is losing even more of his humanity by giving up his identity.

If you have read this until the end thank you ! I’m not sure about my meta since it’s the first time I’m going this deep into a character analyse so any return is gladly appreciated ! I’ve just been really fascinated by Norman in the recent chapters of the manga and trying to understand him is like a puzzle : sometimes hard but very fulfilling at the same time. I probably got a lot of stuff wrong as well as I found out right ones. If it was entertaining to you anyway that’s what is important !

#the promised neverland #Yakusoku no Neverland #ynn #tpn #norman #meta #analyse #analysis #theory #theories

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naehja · 5 years

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I've been seeing your idea of Alpha!Flynn and Omega!Yuri floating around and wanted to come and say-- I AM INTERESTED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS! FureYuri (Top!Flynn/Bottom!Yuri) is my jam and I myself have an ongoing series on AO3 with ABO elements where Yuri is a wolf and Flynn is his mated alpha, despite being human, because Yuri wanted him to be his top and mate.

My english is not vey good, because it’s not my mothertongue, sorry for the mistakes ^^”

My idea was more to include omegaverse in the story without really changing anything else. Expect some points.

SoYuri: OmegaRepeade: DogEstelle: BetaKarol: Futur Omega (Nan is a Alpha) but still a child for now.Rita: BetaRaven: Was a Alpha before, is a Beta since he has the Blastia Heart.Judith: AlphaPatty: BetaFlynn: Alpha

When Yuri has been revealed to be a omega, with his beautiful appearance, he has had a lot of problems even if he knew defend himself. He was not a usual omega, some people was often surprised to see that he was not a alpha.

Flynn has always been VERY protective because he was afraid that, one day, a alpha more powerful kidnaps Yuri and uses him. He was terrified at the idea of Yuri being bitten and used by someone against his own will. But like they were always together, his scent surrounded a little Yuri, and it was a little protection against alphas. Sometimes Flynn growled against unknown alphas who comes a little too close of HIS best friend. (Yuri found that hilarous)

They manage to get enough money for buy supressants for them. They don't want that a heat (for Yuri) or a rut (for Flynn) end by...well...Flynn doesn't want to risk to take advantage of his friend or to bite him without permission during one of these moments. He would NEVER forgive himself.

Nothing in the laws of the empire forbiddes the omega to becomes knights, as long that they know how fight. But the empire has not a good views of the omegas, they more here for be "toys" or "babies machine". So while the laws is nice with omega, people sees them more or less like "people to be used".

So while Omega CAN be knight, some officers (the respectful ones, who fear the possible agression, kidnapping or stuff) would prefer that the knights omegas be bounded, because it's the best way to be left alone for them. (the laws says that touching a "bounded omega" is a crime).

Of course Yuri doesn't care. He's a omega and? Flynn is super stressed and becomes a little agressive toward Yuri. (UST? maybe?) They are lucky, Niren doesn't care at all about alphas/omegas/betas. Like everyone in his brigade.

The movie is more or less the same, they adopt Repeade, they act like a old married couple, they have a fight, even if the alpha side of Flynn wants to assert his dominance over this omega who make him crazy. (he begins to be even more possessive and protective) Also there some incidents with alphas and Flynn is more and more worried because :Yuri is a omega, he's careless, one day he will face someone stronger than him and....And in result he's more agressive toward Yuri.

When Yuri decides to leave the knights, they both realize that he will never have peace alone. Of course he know how fight. But...he's still a omega and could have problems one day, especially now that he'll be alone. So Flynn proposes him a solution totally selfless: what if he bited him? He would become his mate, his scent would covert him all times, and so he would be left in peace since he would be mated. Flynn doesn't ask anything in exchange. Nothing.

(Yeah Flynn gives up the possibility to have a mate, for protecting his friend)

Yuri accept because he knows Flynn, he trusts him, he likes him, and it would not be so bad, it would maybe makes his life better since no alphas would bother him anymore.

He just says "A alpha can give orders to his omega with vocal pheromones, you must promise to never use that against me!! Never force me to obey you"

Flynn promises because he thinks that he would never force his best friend into submission like that (he hates the idea). And so he bites him.

During the three years who follows everything is the same, except that Flynn goes more often in the lower quarter. Bring food and supressants to Yuri, is sill often worried for him, is sometimes angry that Yuri does nothing with his life, ect... the bite changes nothing between them, except they more tactile between them (and more cuddles)

The knights are a little confused because "this omega smells like the lieutenant Flynn?" "What?" "Lieutenant, your omega in in jail again!!" and Flynn is so done XD

The game begins and nothing change. Estelle is a beta, so she doesn't realize that Yuri smells like Flynn (so that he is his mate). And Yuri doesn't brag it. But he begins to miss him too. They met Karol (who is a omega but he has not been revealed for now because he's still a child), and Rita (who is a beta).

When he met Flynn again, the knight is about to break his promise because he's so angry. He's about to order Yuri to......but Estelle arrives at the right moment.After that? maybe a cuddle between them in the inn?

At every meeting between them, they are happy to see each other, have some cuddle time, speak and argue...nothing change from the game, except the cuddles.

Again everything is the same for some time. Raven joins, then Judith and Patty.

The first big change is after Cumore's death.Flynn uses his "vocal pheromones" for force Yuri to not resist when he's about to arrest him for murders. “On your knees, NOW!”

That's hurt. Because Yuri sees it like a betrayal. He can't move, he falls on his knees because it's the first time that Flynn uses it against him and it's brutal.Especially that at this moment, Flynn has no remorse because he's so angry. "You are MY responsabilty, my omega and if you cross the line, I must act in consequence: I’ll take you back with me and..."

But then Sodia and Estelle arrive and Flynn is enough distracted to release his omega from his "vocal pheromones order". and Yuri runs aways. At this point, Flynn has still not remorse. And Estelle has still not understood the bound between them (they are not acting like a normal Alpha/Omega couple)

After Belius death, they met again.

Flynn is like "don't force me to do it again Yuri, give the stone and lady Estelle, by your own will or...""Or what ALPHA? You are going to submit your mate with your little voice?" and then Yuri stabs Flynn by words, like in the game and he finishes by "but I'm your omega right? So you have the power to arrest me! You can do whatever you want to me! What do you wait? DO IT"

And this time, Flynn feels shame, he feels the shattered trust. And don't stop them. His heart hurts, and he feels like a idiot, what he has done? what...

The groupe finally understand that they are mated but Yuri doesn't explain why or how.Rita says "why did you give yourself to a such jerk?"Patty says "At least he has not used a vocal order" (haha if she knew)Karol is afraid to be a omega (still not revealed). (sorry karol but you are one)Estelle sees that it's not always cute and beautiful between the Alpha/Omega romance. (welcome to the real world)Raven is like "ha youngness"Judith pats Yuri's shoulder. "You want me to punch him next time?"

After that? Everything go the same. Until Raven's betrayal. Flynn joins the group and Yuri is still bitter, even if he's happy to see that his friend is back to his senses. They speak a lot, maybe share their first kiss, Flynn apologizes again and again about the order. But Yuri knows that if Flynn thinks that he must use it, he will do it again so he says "forget the promise, if you feel that I go too far, use it"

Sodia realizes that Yuri smells like her captain. And Yuri is a little shit by taunting her about "sorry but I'M his mate", and also because he feels some jealousy to see another omega near to Flynn and interested by him. Even if the blond doesn't see anything about it.

At Zaude, Flynn FEELS that Yuri is not dead and feels strangely angry when he sees Sodia, even if he doesn't understand why. Duke smells Flynns's scent on Yuri just gives the omega to his alpha and go away. This time Yuri doesn't hide the truth, and it's more because Flynn sees the wound before his mate's awekening.

They finally confess to each other before the final fight, maybe share their first night together too.

Post-Game? I don't a lot of ideas but the biggest is that Karol and Judith says "we could build our guild-house in Zaphias?" because they don't want to force Yuri to choose between his mate and his friends.

#tale of vesperia #fluri #powerbottomyurilowell

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the-body-remembers · 5 years

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he had all the privileges I hadn't

-summary: After a huge fight between Zoe and Senne their friends take matters in their own hands.

I'm sorry for grammar and time mistakes, but English is not my mothertongue. I tried my best :)

It's been more than 6 weeks, since she got in a huge fight with Senne. Ever since she slept on Janas couch and constantly complains about what an asshole he is. Zoe has been living with Senne for almost two years and she dared to say that he knows nearly everything about her. He knew how excited she was, when her boyfriend wanted to come to their apartment.

But Senne behaved like a complete asshole, made unfunny comments and never gave her and Adam time alone. Even when they both went to Zoes room, he always found excuses to come in for a while. Zoe titled him 'The most annoying roommate.'

Adam left after a few hours and after Zoe shut the door close, she angrily turned around. "What was that?" she asked Senne. "What?" he answered like he didn't know what he did. "Couldn't you leave us alone?" "Zoe...I'm...." She didn't want to hear a little sorry. She just couldn't. "You know what. Save it!" Her voice suddenly becomes harsher and louder. "I'm sick of this. I don't think I can live like this now. I'm going to live at Janas!" With that she grabbed her jacket and purse. She felt Sennes hand trying to reach hers, but she left without turning around again. Jana came later to grab her things.

So 6 weeks after that, Senne is throwing a party. And Jana insists to go there. Zoe goes. Not because she isn't mad anymore, but she misses him. More than anything. More than she could imagine. Sometimes she saw him in public and catched herself when she looked longer at him than friends normally do. She tries to talk it down. But even Adam noticed. When they went out to the park, Senne was there playing soccer with his friends. Zoe couldn't do another thing than just looking at him and eventually he made eye contact with her. The intensity of his eyes and the sadness in them catch her off guard and she stops in her tracks. Of course Adam noticed. When their ways part he just stands there, staing a little fact. "You're in love with him." Zoe furrowed her eyebrows and her eyes widen in shock. "No..." she trails off, trying to convince herself she is not. "Yes you are and I don't wanna be between you two. Goodbye Zoe." Without giving her the chance to reply he left her standing alone.

They arrive a bit late at the party. A girl Zoe doesn't know opens the door and lets them in. Zoe looked around. The apartment haven't changed much. Pictures of her and her friend were still hanging on the wall. Her favorite book wasn't removed from the living room table and the paper with the jobs they need to do was still pinned on the fridge. All in all it seemed like she never left. She grabbed a non alcoholic drink and went back to her friends.

"You remember that book you wanted to lent me?" Yasmina asked. Zoe nodded in agreement. "Can you grab it for me?" "Yeah sure." Zoe went to her room. When she closed the door she saw Senne standing there and looking trough. "What are you doing in here?" she asked curiously. "Yasmina..." he starts, but is interrupted by the sound of the key in doorlock. "NO!" Zoe screams realizing the plan her friends had. It was to late. The door was already closed.

Slowly she lets herself slid down the door. "This can't be true." Senne sits down next to her. "I had no idea. I promise." he said like he read her mind. "I behaved like an asshole. I'm sorry. I hope everything is alright with you and thi- Adam." he slowly starts. "We broke up." Zoe answers him with a cold voice. What happened next is the least Zoe expects. Senne embraces her and moves his hand up and down her back. "I never meant that this happenend..." he mumbled into her hair. "It's not only your fault.", Zoe said deciding to give him a hint. "He had a problem with our...well close relationship."

Senne slowly lets go of her. Zoe assumed he got the hint. "Also..." her voice breaks a little, "I can't be with someone when I already love someone else..." She lets the last words trail off. The tension between her and Senne seemed to grower thicker and thicker with every breath she took. "I was jealous." Senne starts, "I was jealous, because he had all the privileges I hadn't. He was allowed to kiss you and touch you whenever he wanted. If I had done that everyday you would see me as a creep. I thought maybe I could, I don't know, make him insecure. "

He looked at Zoe with a unsure look. "I just wanted to do the same." She bit he lower lip and looked him deep in the eyes, showing him that she was serious with what she said next. "Then do it." His eyes widen in shock realizing that maybe he was the one Zoe was talking about. He stands up and pulls her up with him. "What are you doi-" Senne silenced her mouth with his. She returns the kiss with an intensity that even shocked herself. Her arms are around Sennes neck, while his are laying on her waist. It becomes more heavier and passionate as time flies by. He lifts Zoe up and without interrupting the kiss they lay down on her bed.

When they need air again they are facing each other. The noses are nearly touching. Senne puts a string of Zoes hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek. "Do you mind if I stay over in your room tonight?" he asks quietly. "As long as we build a border between us." she jokes. Senne poked her into her waist what made Zoe laugh. "Of course you can!" she says and kisses him long. They don't regognize, when their friends open the door again. It didn't matter anymore. What mattered was them being in each others arms.

#zoe x senne #skam belgium #wtfock #skam fanfic #i don't think i'll stop writing fluff and happy endings

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