#also obsessed with the idea that they grow up and one summer they see each other again and think: woah when the fuck did he get sexy
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Every few years I remember camp camp, binge, then ship these two little bitches
#they're my favourite characters and for some reason i love their interactions so fucking much#preston needs to get over himself and start wearing pink like dandelion from the witcher#also obsessed with the idea that they grow up and one summer they see each other again and think: woah when the fuck did he get sexy#camp camp#camp camp fanart#max camp camp#max x preston#presmax#maxpres#preston x max#preston camp camp#camp camp art#camp camp fandom#camp camp max#camp camp preston#preston fanart#ugh why is there no fanfiction give me my fanfiction
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one day x lando norris
pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
summary of series: a series following one day of every summer from 2016 onwards in y/n’s and landos lives, exploring their friendship and love for one another. of course some angst and fights along the way in this rollercoaster of emotions. a friends to lovers, growing up together kind of thing.
summary of this part: the start of y/n and landos friendship/crush. y/n is bored at the eurocup where a stranger (lando) is suggesting a betting game to make her interested in the sport (and him).
wc: 1,2k
notes: im too obsessed with one day atm so just had to write a story inspired by it!! it’s very modified tho, and i haven’t decided yet if it will have the same ending, don’t know if i can handle that haha! also pls ignore the charles pic, couldn't find a better atm. hmu if you have any requests for any of the years x
part two here
summer of 2016
Red Bull Ring, Austria
”please y/n, you’re 16 years old, can’t you go elsewhere and entertain yourself, you’re getting a bit annoying now” y/n’s dad told her whilst he was trying to fix the broken car.
”ugh, sure i’ll go for a walk then” y/n sighed and went to go for a walk around the paddock hoping to see something more interesting than broken cars. her friends were jealous that y/n could tag along her father around europe all summer watching the eurocup formula renault 2.0, but she wasn’t very impressed. despite having a father working as a mechanic and utterly interested in motorsport she hadn’t inherited any interested in the sport what so ever. but at least she could escape england and the rain for some time so it felt like a win although she sometimes felt like dying from boredom.
y/n walked around the paddock and decided to facetime her friend y/f/n.
”please come and save me, austria is so fucking boring and where the hell are all the cute guys i was waiting for??” y/n proclaimed.
”omg y/n stop it, you’re always nagging about everything, you should be happy!! nothing happens here either so might as well be in another country doing the same” y/f/n said as y/n entered a tent where they served drinks and snacks. while she was ordering she noticed a curly haired boy shaking his head whilst smiling her way but she just continued her conversation with y/f/n. after enough discussion about the lack of interest y/n had for the sport and talking about y/f/n new crush y/n ended the call, sat down and opened her pepsi in front of her. it took about five milliseconds before the curly haired boy reappeared, this time in the seat in front of her.
”hi” the boy squealed.
”…hi?” y/n said questioning what he wanted, she weren’t exactly in the bestest of moods so to say.
”i heard you hated the eurocup and that you think every guy is ugly here, so here i am to prove you otherwise” he said grinning. y/n chuckled at the way the boy seemed to have no time to waste in proving her wrong.
”and how are you supposed to do that? do you have a masterplan?” y/n asked looking amused.
”glad you asked! well first of all here i am so now you’ve at least seen one cute boy around the paddock so there’s one problem solved an-” the boy was interrupted with y/n’s laugh. she couldn’t help herself from laughing but tried to gesticulate with her hand that he could continue.
with a smile he proceeded to tell the girl about a betting game that could make her interested in watching the races. y/n was immediately down for the idea because honestly she could’ve done anything at this moment to have some fun. they had to come up with one condition each for the bet and agreed on saying them at the same time so no-one could back out. the curly haired boy betted that he would stand on the podium on today’s race and y/n betted that he wouldn’t, easy as that. now to the conditions. the boy apparently had his condition already planned out so y/n panicked trying to come up with one quickly too. she looked around her and went with the first random idea she got.
”okay so we’ll say them on three?” y/n asked getting a nod for an answer.
”one.. two.. three”
”you’ll buy me-” y/n started before getting interrupted.
”you’ll give me a kiss” the boy said with a cheeky smile.
”…a pepsi. WHOA! you’re wasting no time mister” y/n laughed out after finding out the big differences in the conditions given. she was followed by a laughter from the boy too who was unsurprisingly very pleased with the bet. y/n wasn’t disappointed either, the boy was indeed quite cute for being a driver but she couldn’t let him know that. imagine the hubris he would get then, in comparison what he already had.
the pair shook hands and locked in the bet. they decided to meet up after the race either at the podium or at his team, depending on how the race went. y/n was excited and almost felt a little butterfly in her stomach getting loose.
”see you later then…” the boy hesitated realizing he hadn’t asked her name.
”y/n l/n, and yours was?” she asked.
”lando norris, but there’s no need to remember that, you will see the name on the top of the podium later” he chuckled walking away to his team.
y/n could only smile and shake her head while walking away too.
—
”and lando norris takes his fourth victory in this seasons eurocup!!” the presenter shouts excitingly.
y/n was smiling so big her dad had to check up on her, how she immediately had watched a whole race after watching exactly zero of them up until now this summer. y/n had no time to explain to him what was going on and started to run along the paddock until she reached the podium. she was so excited and nervous that she was about to burst, it was hard to believe that she was developing some kind of a crush to this random driver.
because she had little to none sense of direction the celebration at the podium was already done and dusted when she reached it. a bit disappointed and confused she looked around to see if she could see lando somewhere. there was surprisingly many people running around here.
”looking for someone?” a familiar voice said and y/n turned around. there he was, a happy lando holding a trophy in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. she smiled and congratulated him partly for the victory and partly because he somehow got her interest in the sport for once.
”i know it’s not nearly as good as a pepsi but you can have my flowers as a consolation prize” he said handing them to her. she took the flowers and admired them with a smile feeling her butterflies about to let loose. she collected some courage and looked up at his eyes before quickly looking at his lips and crashing onto them. the kiss took lando a bit with surprise but he was quick to answer it. with the hand not holding the trophy lando gently grabbed the back of y/n’s head, slowly deepening the kiss. the butterflies were officially out and about in y/n’s stomach. she tried so hard to hide the excitement but at the end she couldn’t resist smiling and therefore accidentally ending the kiss. slowly they pulled away from each other, leaving them both with blushing smiles on their lips. they looked at each other in silence for a moment before abruptly getting interrupted.
”lando! we’re taking pictures! come here now!” a member of his team shouted.
”well i guess i have to go then.. hope i’ll see you around” lando shyly told the girl.
”i hope so too” y/n stated not knowing the rollercoaster of joys and troubles they’d share in the future as friends and lovers.
—
notes: feel free to give feedback and requests for future parts! x
#lando x reader#f1 x reader#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x you#f1 imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando fic#lando norris x you#lando fluff#lando x you#lando x y/n#lando norris x y/n#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris fic#f1 fluff#ln4 fic#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fluff#one day#formula one
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What makes Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:
Mabel-related asks/reblogs: x
This post will be updated after each round!
Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.
[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Mabel in the top right corner, she is dancing. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,
"wears a different sweater every single day in SUMMER. also she's loud and very silly in situations where it might not be appropriate, says whatever's on her mind, struggles with change, retreats into her sweater and rocks back and forth when she's upset, doesn't always realize how her actions impact others, has high empathy and a hard time saying "no" because she doesn't want other people to be upset, etc etc"
"One of her main story arcs is resistance to change particularly when it comes to her being very attached to her brother. She is very social and friendly but is often "too loud" or generally misses social cues - also tends to spit out random information to people she is talking to. The friends she does make are people who thing her eccentric nature is charming! upon meeting a girl with a lizard and a girl who fashioned herself fork-hands she whispers "ive found my people". She hyperfocuses on things very often! Like the sock puppet episode where she spends days producing a puppet show, or her crush of the week, or a boyband. She if VERY much the "oh she isn't autistic lol, shes just girly" type of gal that people dismiss often because shes social so "she cant POSSIBLY be ND". when she is emotionally overhwelmed she "goes to sweater town" aka sinks into her sweater to remove sensory imput from the outside world. also she has trouble empathasing with people at times especially if it comes into conflict with something shes hyperfixating on and can often have trouble controlling emotional bursts as a result of those conflicts. she also adores being creative, colorful stuff, knitting. i frankly think shes is autistic AND had adhd. i love her to death and i think a lot of her conflicts in the show could be interpreted/understood in a way thats like "oh thats an undiagnosed autistic kid dealing with stuff". her relationship with her brother is also interesting cause i think both of them are autistic and have learned to support/help each other in a way other ppl dont understand"
"She has tendency to obsess over things (such as her crush of the week or her pet pig), and clearly enjoys the sensory stimulation of lots of bright colours and patterns, and strong, sweet flavours. Her social skills also leave a little to be desired, as she's often very forward, quite loud and overly enthusiastic. Mabel is also quite change averse, as well as averse to the idea of having to 'grow up' and act more mature, which becomes a running theme throughout the show, as she tries to hold onto her childhood."
"Constantly wearing sweaters even in summer (literally only ever takes one off on-screen when she's made fun of for wearing it, and even then she ties it around her waist instead of tossing it), immediately bonds with two girls who are weirdos (affectionate dw) who do things like tape forks to their fingers in order to eat popcorn without getting butter on their hands, obsessed w/ bright colors and the 80's aesthetic, loves to make weird noises, I could go on"
"She wears sweaters every day (different ones in different colors, same style). She’s sometimes easily distracted, but tends to hyperfocus on a goal once she has it. When she’s sad or scared she goes to “sweater town” (pulling her head, arms, and knees under her sweater)"
"Knitting is her special interest to the point that she has a different sweater every day. She purposefully makes friends with everyone, ignoring social cues. She stims a lot by doing jazz hands and big movements. When she's very upset, she rocks back and forth and hids in an oversized sweater. She takes promises very seriously and always tries to see the best in people. Last but certainly not least, she has a whole episode dedicated to how "weird" she is with the ultimate conclusion being that unconventional, out of the box thinking is good."
"I know everyone hcs her as ADHD but also LISTEN...she has so much autism to me. She has a special interest in crafting, she tends to let her emotions override logical thinking when she's passionate about something, she just means so much to me as a former weird girl and since I am also autistic, I love projecting <3 Also you know she makes her own sweaters 1) because it's fun but also 2) maybe she struggled to find sweaters that weren't bad texture-wise so she decided to take up sewing/crocheting and made all her own clothes with a special yarn after that."
"i am not autistic but all my autistic friends love her and say she has autistic girl swag"
"it's mabel. all of that family has autism in spades and she is no exception. look at her. look at sweater town. come on" End ID.]
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heya! :D I'm so happy I found your blog, I just did a su rewatch this summer and I'm obsessed again! I was wondering if you had some fic recs to share? especially any and all that deal with steven's trauma (whether that be corruption aftermath, his abandonment issues, any of the traumatic experiences he had), anything really, just some nice and thorough hurt/comfort and healing <3 definitely up to any other recs you might have, even if they're about something completely different haha. thank you in advance!!
Ooooh heck yeah I can rec some of my favs! Admittedly, these days I haven't been reading that much new fic, so I'm not sure what new stuff is out there that's gone unnoticed, but I went through my bookmarks and found a few fics that still stand out to me today as ones I remember really vibing with when I read them-
First off, some fics that I remember delving into Steven's trauma (along other things)-
Aid to Navigation, by Ppleater (or @infriga here on tumblr)
Honest to god, this is my favorite Steven Universe fic on the whole goddamn internet. Post I Am My Monster hurt/comfort content galore. Emotional catharsis out the wazoo. Fascinating theorization about how Steven works as a hybrid. Sometimes there's even chapter artwork. ALSO NANEFUA AS AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER, WHICH I RARELY SEE LET'S GO NANEFUA
a world for the birds, by @fanfoolishness
Do you like Uncle Andy? Do you vibe with the idea of bird watching? Do you wanna read about Andy's outsider observations of the trajectory of his nephew's bizarre life as he shares his hobby of bird watching with Steven as a bonding activity over the years moving into the events of Steven Universe: Future??
Go read this fic, it destroys me. In fact, just do yourself a favor and check out this author's whole catalogue, because my next fic rec is from her, too.
Comminuted, by @fanfoolishness
Post Growing Pains hurt/comfort focused on Steven and his dad's relationship. I remember this one dropping pretty damn soon after the episode aired and it w r e c k e d my emotions and gave me all the catharsis my sappy little heart desired at the time.
WELCOME BACK TO THE VLOG, steven universe here! by waddlesthejoghog (or @thisisnotacreativeusername here on tumblr)
Here's a story with a COMPLETELY different format than all the others- this one chronicles Steven's life through a variety of videos he posts to his TubeTube channel over the years. (Which, if you watch the SU shorts, is a canonical fun fact about him! He posts unboxing videos and reactions and stuff online, ahah.)
Each chapter sorta like, "transcribes" what's happening in the video, and there's even a little views/likes/dislikes/subscriber count + mock comments section at the end of every one! I found it a very charming and fun read- but also it punched me in the face by the end because it's like a whole microcosm of Steven's character development throughout the entire show mashed into one 59 chapter story.
This one is not wholly focused on Steven's trauma, as it spans the events of the entire show, but that does play a decently big role later on in the fic.
__
As a quick little self-plug, I've also written a good deal of fics focused on various shades of Steven's traumatic experiences, and the following is (probably) my favorite of those:
A Memoir of the Marks Unseen (uhh... by me lol)
This one is focused on the topic of Steven + the headcanon of him having corruption scars like the other healed Gems, and picks up pretty soon after I Am My Monster. It spans months (and later Years) after that, detailing his journey towards accepting these remnants as a neutral part of him. I'm still very proud of finishing it, as I was pulling from some raw personal experience with this one.
__
Lastly, here's two Connie focused fics I remember slapping ass in their own various ways:
Xenopology, by CompletelyDifferent
Some Connie + all the Gems character study pieces!
The Stranger in Me, by Cyberwraith9
Connie accidentally gets perma-bonded with a poofed gemstone retrieved from a corrupted Gem. Hijinks ensue. I remember this one having a legendary level of character development for Connie and her whole family especially ;w;
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not fic related but i know you are an editor (i follo you on insta!!) but i wanted to ask you how did you start editing and most importantly how did you learn? i’ve always wanted to start editing bc i just have sooo many ideas but i can never figure out where to start and what programs to use. what would you recommend?
ahh omg yes!!! AN EDITING QUESTION god i havent talked about editing in so long even tho im trying to get back into itskldjf
(for those who don't know, i do have an editing insta and tt acc (though i'm not active on tt)!!! @/thae.rchxr on insta and thaerchxr on tt)
i started editing in 2020 during quarantine, and on capcut! i think that it's a pretty good starting spot, especially because it's free and it allows you to understand what you really want to make with your edits/what kinds of edits you want to make - velocities, lyric edits, transition ones, etc
i have to say i wouldn't recommend templates and i'm really not a fan of them. that's my only neg abt capcut now, even though i don't use it... yea i've seen too much of these template apps literally stealing the hard work of editors and it sucks
but anyway!! i currently use after effects, and have used it since early 2022, however it's a computer program, and - though you can pirate it and there are lots of videos online on how to do that - it also costs money if you don't wanna pirate (i got it as a christmas gift so i have the paid version but there's really no difference)
no matter what program you use, TUTORIALS!! youtube is your best friend. i have a youtube channel actually but i mainly post transition inspo instead of tutorials, however if you want some recs (for ae, i unfortunately don't know a lot of tutorial channels for other apps), i learned so much from klqvsluv, ae.chambb, and clewxdre on youtube! and, of course, lauren. she's kind of a mini celebrity in the editing communitysdklf - and there are so many more as well
if it's transition edits you're specifically trying to get into, def try and master the basics - zoom in's, out's, slide left/right, shakes and turbs if that's the kind of edit you wanna make. but honestly, the entire thing is just practice practice practice!! even though i only started editing on ae 2 years ago, i used to make edits, like, every day. i was obsessed. i would wake up and spend hours on edits, trying new transitions and new plugins and effects, and i think it really paid off :)
another thing you can do is attempt to remake edits! most editors will be completely alright with it (as long as you don't steal, ofc) and many even put out project files (i do have a few on my payhip- linked in my insta lmfaodjsf shameless self promo) that you can look at to see how they did certain transitions. remakes are good because it takes out the factor of having to figure out what transitions you want to make and lets you focus entirely on the technical aspect - which will then make it easier for you to pull off the transitions you think of yourself!
so, to conclude this ramble bc i can never shut up - i think i would definitely recommend ae if you have a computer/laptop. but i also think that other editing apps (the ones i see most often are videostar, alight motion, and capcut - all of which are mobile apps) can make absolutely incredible edits. i have friends who use each of these different editing apps and i know they can make some of the most mindblowing edits, even though i personally have no idea how to use vs or am lmaodsjf
so it's up to you! look at some tutorials, don't feel too intimidated, and go with the layout that makes the most sense to you. then just don't be afraid of making a "bad" edit bc let's be real the first edits are alwaysss shitty. i cringe when looking back at the edits all the way to last summer. but that's the beauty of it, because you can see your editing style and skill grow over time, and then you can eventually make edits that you'll be really proud of <3 i wish you the best of luck on your editing journey!! it's honestly so fun once you get into the swing of it :)
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the folklore love triangle and the correlations to the tsitp triangle. book series/show spoilers ahead
before i get into who each person is, i have to note that august is 100% a bellyconrad song. in general, taylor songs are for bellyconrad and bellyconrad only and the words of august perfectly fit their relationship at the beginning of it’s not summer without you, with how belly waits around for conrad to call or to spontaneously show up like he does during the december scene, with how temporary that relationship felt (”you were never mine” fits them at that point in time because things with conrad were so fragile). “wanting was enough” just really fits where belly was in her relationship with him at the time, just living for those little moments with him until it all slips away. the way the first page of the book is all happy summer moments and then that’s ripped away and we see that it all slipped away and belly was just “lost in the memory.”
but as far as connections to the triangle go, belly is obviously james, conrad is betty, and jeremiah is augustine.
starting with jere...
august so perfectly fits his relationship with belly. “whispers of are you sure” fits because in the first book, belly is clear about her lack of feelings for him, and jere has assumed it was always going to be conrad for her, so when their relationship starts in book 2, it has that hopeful, is this really happening??? feeling. also, the lyrics about wishing she would call fit because belly kind of ignores him for a bit. “remember when i pulled up and said ‘get in the car.’” literally him in book 2, pulling up for their little road trip adventure to go after conrad. their whole relationship is really jere “livin’ for the hope of it all” because he never expected them to happen. most especially the lyrics “so much for summer love and saying ‘us’ / 'cause you weren't mine to lose” fit, thinking about “saying us” as her saying yes to his proposal in book 3, and then in the end it’s all over and she was always going to go back to conrad (like james going back to betty).
conrad is so cardigan and it hurts my heart
“when you are young they assume you know nothing” except conrad has had to grow up so much because he knows all of the crap actually going on and is having to carry that weight and everyone else doesn’t know/assumes he knows nothing. “i knew you, hand under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better” just feels so bellyconrad circa book 1/their relationship in book 2?? (like belly literally kisses him at the end of book 1 in a moment of pain. not actually a fan of that writing decision and i prefer the way it’s handled in the show but the lyrics really do fit). the lyrics “and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed / you put me on and said i was your favorite” are so conrad. it’s the perfect summary of conrad’s self-deprecation and how much belly loves conrad, like he’s her favorite person. “to kiss in cars” and “you drew stars around my scars” it’s them it’s bellyconrad. the whole bridge like “i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss / i knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs / the smell of smoke would hang around this long.” the smell of smoke and the whole connection that holds to the events of book 1 with belly trying to get conrad to quit. the way other relationships conrad tries to have, the what-ifs, are never the same. “i knew you’d come back to me,” and one day, after they’ve both changed and grown so much, she does. she comes back to him (don’t mind me sobbing).
and finally, belly is james
considering james is at the center of the triangle and the one getting with august and betty, i think it’s clear why this would need to be belly lol considering the fact that siblings are involved here.
but also james dreaming of betty all summer long is so belly throughout book 2 and 3. james missing betty standing in her cardigan + the way belly is obsessed with the idea of conrad in a sweater at the beginning of book 1 then gets to see that at the end?? her being “only 17″ like she was in book 2. though betty feels the least fitting of all the songs just because a lot of the blame in their relationship problems lies with conrad and the fact that he wasn’t in the place for a relationship and needed time to grow (like even though i’m team conrad, i’m glad they break up in book 2 because belly was right when she said she deserved better and i was so proud of her for realizing that, and even though my heart hurt for conrad and the way he selflessly stood back so jere and belly could be together because he wanted them to be happy, i’m also glad that conrad grows from there and doesn’t get back with belly until they’re both in a better place), while in the song betty the problem is really with james. still, lyrics like “when i passed your house it’s like i couldn’t breathe” are so so fitting. also just belly wondering if he would want her after all this time.
anyways, both of these triangles have consumed too much of my brain space and i needed to word vomit this so enjoy :)
#the summer i turned pretty#tsitp#belly conklin#bellyconrad#belly x conrad#conrad x belly#conrad fisher#jeremiah fisher#taylor swift#folklore love triangle#august#jenny han
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Hello! How are you??
Can I tell you how much I absolutely LOVE daydreaming?!! I love Bradley and Tess' dynamic and the fluff but also the ANGST in part 2. Tess just wants Bradley to love her but Bradley is just scared and I feel so bad for both of them.
If you are still keen on writing them, could I pretty please request to read more about them before the time that daydreaming took place?
I am obsessed with their first kiss (even though it was only a small part of the series) and their dynamic growing up and how they came to be "together but not officially but we will still be constantly touching, kiss in front of people and struggle to fall asleep without each other."
No stress if you can't but I love them and would love to read and learn more about them.
Enjoy the rest of your week and thank you for writing them :)
Hi babe! First of all, so sorry for how long this took me to get out - you asked this right after I finished Daydreaming and all ideas were just gone from my brain but inspiration finally struck - thank you Adderall.
Anywho, I hope this lives up to your expectations and fits into the DCU (daydreaming cinematic universe) nicely.
that first kiss
is this accurate to the navy? no clue, my husbands a marine so thats all i know
bradley bradshaw is a himbo i will not be taking any further questions
High school sucks. Like, seriously, whoever came up with such archaic bullshit as sitting around for eight hours every day while either someone on the precipice of death or someone young enough to pass as the same age as most of the seniors in the building drones on and on and on about nothing deserves a Nobel Prize for torture methods.
And Prom, what a stupid fucking way to end the year. As if Homecoming and Spring Fling and Senior Night and all the other stupid dances and school functions they've had all year weren't enough, sure let us throw in one more.
Tess kicked small pebbles across the sidewalk while she sulked home and contemplated all the ways that she could drop out early or injure herself severely enough that would excuse her from stepping foot in that hell hole for the next two months, but not severely enough that it would hinder her summer.
Her options were severely limited.
That, and she was way too chicken to purposefully injure herself.
Coming closer to her house, Tess completed her two rituals: checking the mail, and checking the living room window of the Bradshaw house. Both of those things left her with a dark, never-ending pit in her stomach but after nearly 18 years it was hard to break habits. Even if they were completely soul crushing.
The mailbox was full of its usual trashy magazines, bills that Tess had no interest in, coupons for the local grocery store, a letter addressed to her mom from some distant relative, and... absolutely nothing for Tess.
She tried not to let the disappointment consume her but it always did. It was like being swallowed by a tidal wave you could see miles off the coast, knowing full well it was going to pick you up and slam you against the rocky bottom, but Tess sat there anyway, watching the beautiful blue crest into white before her eyes.
Sadly, she was used to the wave, used to it rattling her brain and bones, blurring her vision for a few seconds until the facts of her life took over. She was used to this, used to not hearing from the two people she loved most in this world despite the fact that they left her high and dry more times than any person could count.
Her second disappointment came when her green eyes moved over to the left of her house, expecting to see the bay window open, yellow and white curtains billowing in the slight breeze and a blonde head of sunshine calling over to Tess, inviting her over for a glass of sweet tea and some new cookie she thought up over the weekend that Tess absolutely needed to try.
There was none of that, of course, hadn't been for some years now and the depressing, dark blue drawn curtains of Tess's new neighbors were a constant reminder of that.
She tore her eyes away from that window.
Her feet dragged all the way to her room, hands dropped the mail on the kitchen table for her mom to find when she got home and traced a pattern on the wallpaper up the stairs and to her door.
Tess's room was bright and airy and reminded her of the beach, which was exactly what Carole was going for four summers ago when she came over and declared that she needed a 'bedroom makeover'. Tess tried to tell her she had been watching too much HGTV as they combed the aisles of Home Depot for the perfect shade of blue - something bright but not neon, subdued but not dull, something that reminded you of the sky. But not sky blue. Carole insisted that she had not been watching too much TV but that she enjoyed the North Carolina shores so much she felt they needed to be indoors as well, and Tess's room was the perfect place to experiment.
The memories of Carole were hard to push away. She was her second mother for as long as she could remember. Her and Bradley were always over, the mothers were always together so they were together. She loved him like a brother - or so she thought.
When he left for the Navy, a piece of her heart left with him, a bigger piece than she anticipated. She knew it would be hard with him gone, with Carole gone alone with him, but didn't expect it to hurt the way it did and after many nights of soul searching on her roof the truth hit her so hard she almost rolled off.
She loved him - as more than a brother, as more than a friend, as more than her childhood neighbor.
She was in love with him.
And the realization left her reeling.
But now, she lay on her seafoam sheets, staring at her ceiling fan blow around and around and he was out on a ship somewhere, not thinking about her probably.
"Tess!"
Her mothers voice startled her from her thoughts and she wondered how long she had been laying in her misery.
"You have a letter!"
Nothing else would have gotten her out of bed so fast. She raced down the stairs, a smile involuntarily taking over her face, heart racing at who could've been the one to finally break the silence and respond.
"Who's it from?" She asked, out of breath, snatching the letter from her mother's perfectly manicured hands as she threw herself around the dining room table.
"Hello to you too," she simply said, raising her eyebrows at her daughter. Her daughter who was supposed to be excited and getting ready for prom, but was instead moping about the two men in her life who would never live up to her expectations. She wished she could change them, change everything about their situation, but they were too far out of her grasp of control.
"Mom," she groaned in her teenage defiance. Her mother simply smiled, roughed up her daughters hair, and made for the kitchen to decide what was for dinner tonight.
Tess looked down at the simple white envelope in her hands. She noted the lack of a return address - a good sign if there ever was one and traced her fingers over her handwritten name on the front.
Bradley.
It was his handwriting, undoubtably. The little chicken scratch that was notes passed through class, hidden messages found throughout her room and late nights helping with homework.
Tess's stomach dropped - there could be anything written in this thin envelope. Disappointment, rejection, let downs-
"Just open it, Fess,"
"I'm absorbing the moment," she said, shoulders shrugging quickly, eyes staying on the envelope as she flipped it over. Her mom rolled her eyes but laughed, moving about the kitchen in a practiced rhythm.
With quick, practiced fingers she opened the letter and pulled out one piece of folded up paper. She unfolded the thirds, and frowned to only see one sentence written on the whole sheet.
Come outside already, what are you waiting for?
Confusion covered her face, eyebrows scrunched together. What the hell does that mean!?
Tess looked up at her mother, who only wore a shit-eating grin.
"There's no way."
"Go outside and find out."
Tess never ran so fast. Barefoot, she trampled through the living room and through the front door. The Bronco sat outside, just beyond her perfectly average white picket fence yard and Bradley was there, standing up so his head was out of the roof, waving at her with that smirk on his face.
"What are you doing here!" She yelled, running towards the car. Never, in her eighteen years of life, had she ever been so surprised.
Tess hurled herself across the center console and into his open arms, laughing and screaming as she squeezed as tight as she could. He laughed with her, and the hole in her heart closed up.
-
"So, why are you not at prom?" Bradley asked her as he shoved a handful of french fries in his mouth.
"Because prom is stupid," Tess said, feet kicked up on the dashboard, "and I didn't have a date."
"I find it hard to believe that you didn't have anyone who wanted to go with you." The two of them decided to park the car at the beach so that's where they now sat, sharing fries and nuggets while they watched the sky change colors and the waves crash on the empty shore. It was still a little too cold for the beach to be busy and probably too cold for the roof to be off the Bronco, but neither of them cared enough to say anything.
"Well believe it buddy, I am not Mr. Popular like you were in high school." She was far from it. Without Bradley by her side she was quiet and awkward, she kept to herself and her small group of friends and liked it that way.
"Your friends didn't want to go?" He asked incredulously.
"No, they went, but they all had dates so I would've been like a... ninth wheel." Truthfully there was nobody, no friend or cute guy in the universe that she would've wanted to go to prom with over Bradley. A realization that crushed her one day when she went dress shopping with her friends at the mall. She tried to match every dress to his personality, or his eyes, or his smile and every one made her feel empty and sad inside.
None of her friends understood why she couldn't go, they all thought she was crazy for choosing solitude over a party. Even the afterparty - a weekend trip to Myrtle Beach - was out of the question, she knew she would be no fun and didn't want to drag the party down with her.
Bradley didn't say anything. He knew for a fact that the guys he went to school with were practically chomping at the bit to date her, and he knew that she had a tendency to scare them off with her RBF and her ability to be completely oblivious.
"Anyway," she changed the subject, "how long are you home for?"
"Just the weekend, gotta ship back out on Monday, I just hitched a ride with some of the helicopter guys when I heard they were flying out here to pick up some things."
"Sneaky," Tess chastised.
There was a moment of silence, a comfortable silence, while they both ate and watched the waves. Tess thought about how much she missed this, missed him and tried not to think about how much it would hurt again when he was gone.
But Bradley couldn't stop thinking about prom.
"Seriously, not one person asked you?"
"Let it go, man!" Tess threw a couple fries at him that he failed to dodge.
"No! I can't! I just..." he trailed off, shaking his head at the ocean.
"You just what?" Tess looked at his profile, at the scars littering his chin, at the tiny moustache he was growing and that she teased him about for the entire drive but kept to herself that all she could see when she looked at him was that photo of him, his dad, and his mom on their fireplace mantle.
"I just can't believe it, it makes no sense."
Tess sighed, "you're the only person who thinks that." It was her turn to look at the ocean now, to accept the defeat that was her love life.
Maybe it was partly her fault. Maybe she pushed them all away. But it was hard to look at anyone that way when she was so in love with him.
"Tess," she turned and saw nothing but green eyes, "you are the most beautiful, smart, funny, caring, wonderful person I've ever met and every boy in that school is dumber than I thought."
Tess held his gaze for a few more seconds before she had to look away from the intensity. He couldn't really mean that, could he?
"I haven't even had my first kiss yet," she admitted quietly, "how pathetic is that? I'm a senior in high school, I have no date for prom, and I haven't been kissed."
They marinated in the silence for a second, Tess picked at the invisible dirt under her nails and willed the lump in her throat to go away. She heard Bradley shifting around in the drivers seat but didn't look at him until she felt his hand touch her chin, his finger gently coaxing her face towards his and he didn't give her a second to protest before he gently placed his lips on hers.
She felt the prickle of his moustache on her top lip before she even registered what was happening. His lips were so gentle on hers she almost didn't feel them at all and her eyes stayed wide open until her brain was able to catch up to her body and they fluttered close.
Bradley started to pull away, but Tess followed him, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder to keep him in place and put more pressure on the kiss. Bradley followed quickly and neither of them pulled away until they were panting and smiling.
Tess's body exploded with butterfly's and she chased away the thoughts of what was going to happen next, what would happen when he left again because he wasn't gone yet, he was right here, and her world was complete.
#top gun maverick#daydreaming#bradley rooster bradshaw#rooster#bradley#bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#top gun#top gun fanfiction#top gun rooster#tgm#top gun fandom#ask#answered#the-winter-marvel33
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Roundup: Tumblr Prompts (May 9-16)
We're back in business, and that means I have to catch up on the weekly prompts!
Tsukihime
Kohaku healing. most of the prompts about Kohaku focus on her doing fucked up things, but I want to see her heal and recover from her trauma instead. maybe it's Nanaya, maybe it's post-Kohaku route, maybe it's something else, but i want to see her in a good state of mental health
Shiki Tohno/SHIKI Tohno - Noncon, Obsessive Tendencies SHIKI's latent care for his friend Shiki and his current hatred towards him coalescing, and showing love by hurting him. Good stuff like that.
Kohaku from an alternate universe where she is blue. (a glimpse into the author's twisted mind optional)
Shiki(Tohno) decides to fuck around and finds out
Kara no Kyoukai
Something around Ryougi Shiki and time loops, can be about the fifth movie or her falling back in love with Mikiya after the accident or legitimately anything with Shiki and timeloops please
Mahoyo
Aoko’s ‘oh shit i’m gay’ moment
Fate/Stay Night
artoria / issei / shirou polycule , it can optionally be framed as gilgamesh ,rin , luvia & sakura getting cucked
YAY THE ASKBOX IS BACK! To celebrate let's get dapper mustache saber some good head
Saber and Illya drinking. Can be platonic or romantic, I just want these two to share a drink together
smut Listen to me LISTEN to me Kirei and Bazett have ABSOLUTELY fucked. The idea that the two of them got intimate at some point makes Kirei's betrayal SOOO much more delicious.
Souichirou, Kiritsugu, Parent-teacher conferences. An incredibly awkward and/or tense meeting between two ex-assassins trying to put their pasts behind them. I’m kind of sad that I have literally never seen anyone write these two interacting in any way, especially when there are so many interesting things that they could talk about.
in an effort to learn more about his girlfriend, Shirou starts reading up on arthurian myths, like the canterbury tales or le morte d'arthur
Rin's magic powered attempts to grow boobs the size of her sister's go wrong and she's left a hu-cow
Fate/Zero
Fed up of arguing with Saber constantly over tactics, Kiritsugu uses his Command Spells to reduce her intelligence and leave her too dumb to question him
Fate/Extra
Julius, any ship. I need this man to get laid so bad. Hakuno (either gender) would be my favourite choice but anyone is good. No Leo incest though.
BB hacking (or otherwise hypnotising) Hakunon
Fate/Grand Order
a moment during the servant summer camp thing yan qing visits lanling in the cabin and they spend the day doing fun stuff, may or may not include smut
Post-Story Ritsuka rejoins society at large and starts hitting people with The Vibes. Narrated from someone outside the loop. Does not necessarily have to be Uncanny Valley levels of Vibes, but Weird Vibes must be there. Servants and/or Chaldea staff can and are encouraged to show up as co-workers/friends/romantic partners to add more of The Vibes.
smut, weight gain/stuffing Please, please, please, I NEED to see Mephistopheles stuff Guda with sweets (cute German pet names optional).
smut Lancelot keeps seeing Mash as Galahad. Mash keeps seeing Lancelot as a deadbeat father. It sucks! They want to be able to have a normal conversation for once! The solution? The two should have sex. Now THAT has to get them to stop seeing each other in a familial light, right? The more uncomfortable you make your fill the better. Also you don't have to go all the way, if you write one of them quitting mid sex or even just the aftermath of said sex that is perfectly fine by me.
Douman gets punished for messing up the ask box
smut Anything with Douman and their claws? I'm thinking in lines of smut. Preferably Douman X Guda but whatever floats your boat is great
rin & luvia awaken to find that foreigner molay is going to sacrifice them to her goddes. both of them are futily struggling against their restraints when tiamat arrives. but tiamat starts scolding molay for missing breakfast , and after tiamat gives molay the dissapointed parent look ™ rin & luvia are quickly transformed into new versions of the dark young. their minds & souls aren't shoved into plush toys like what happened to ritsuka , rather their minds & souls are stored in a pair of statues adorning an altar & could only watch on in horror as their bodies take up the duty of being the cults security guards.
U-Olga resurrects Lev/Flauros to serve as her apostle
Instead of fighting 7 crypters during the lostbelt, Ritsuka must fight 7 alternative versions of themselves all who allied themselves with a Beast and remade their own Human History according to the Beast's Ideals, Goetia, Tiamat, Kama, Koyanskaya, Draco, Olga Marie and an unknown Beast(This one up to the author)
Mages Association plans on taking Ritsuka's off most of chaldea's servant because they did not plan for a single human to have control over so many servants and gather so much power. Ritsuka is fine with dividing his servant among other master, his servants on the other hand, not so much
I really liked that Goetia prompt. What if sequel where they settle in the Wandering Sea and he sees Nero and Tamamo and warns Guda of their nature?
Anything with Maou Nobu and Third Ascension Draco in it, be they fucking, being friends, fucking around, finding out
May i get Shuten being a mouthy bitch before getting plowed into a cum puddle by the Futa she was teasing? (Much to her own Delight cause that's what she was hoping for)? Even better if her horns are used as Handlebars for further railing power.
Castoria finds out the Chaldea Database lists her and her peers as "Altria" and she is FUCKING PISSED
Hessian and Lobo get tasked with sitting together for all the other dogs which Chaldea has accumulated over time.
MashMorgan, a day at the aquarium. They're yuri enough to have an aquarium date. As a treat.
AmaSali - gore, monster sex (dubcon optional). Third tier Salieri's kinda hot right? Right. Looking for something with a monstrous Salieri losing his last semblance of self control and having his way with Amadeus. Amade can be into it from the start or slowly get into it, but I want it to end with him having a great time whether or not you decide to make it dubconnish. I love the idea of Salieri being incapable of touching Amadeus without hurting him. Use his claws to really screw Amadeus up, even if he's only touching him to move him or the like. Lots of gashes dripping blood would be good, and purposefully harming him would be even better. (would be based as hell to have his intestines hanging out as he gets fucked, just saying…) It would be super cool to have Salieri have inhuman anatomy too! He's become a monster in the true sense of the word, so lean into it! (this is just an excuse for knotting mostly but you can go as ham as you want)
Goredolf Musik, any ship. my man Gordy deserves to get some so get this guy shipped! Any ship is good, and feel free to go wild over kinks and scenarios you want.
loli tw fionn/beni-enma, oral sex. i think they're really cute. fionn eating her out is all i'm really looking for but you can do whatever else you want
Asterios/Habetrot, height difference. Anything about these two would be good but I'd give you my firstborn if you include their massive-ass height difference. porn welcome but not mandatory.
smut, noncon tw KiaraxEmiya Alter noncon NSFW, Noncon, Tentacle (/Demon God) Noncon. On top of the cult massacre and how EmiAlter was implied to end up killing Taiga and her son, Kiara also broke and twisted EmiAlter's spirit by forcing him to drown in her brand of pleasure. Fast forward to (insert any convenient point of time where Kiara already has demon god inside her) where Kiara retraumatized him and tentacle raped him until he no longer has the will to fight back.
smut Castoria gangbang. I need Castoria to be the central point of an orgy. It can be named characters it can be a faceless mob either is fine I just need her to get absolutely RAILED. Bonus point if you get her filled and/or covered in cum. Dubcon/Noncon ok, but I want her to get pleasure out of it please!
U-Olga gets summoned and proceeds to gee bullied and harassed by literally everyone in Chaldea
barbatos possesses BB as an attempt to get revenge on ritsuka. but unfortunately for BB , barbatos has wound up incredibly masochistic due to being farmed so much. barbdos is enjoying a visit to BSDM dungeon & is having the time of their life when they get used as a rubber drone by the other patrons & bb's despair of losing control of her body only serves to make the demon pillar more horny.
I have a MIGHTY NEED for some Gay Girls in Lingerie tbh. Not picky about the fandom but the only one I'm familiar with is FGO so that's the preferred.
Ritsuka has been through a lot, and her body shows it, there is not a single part of her that isn't scared, both physically and mentally, she always tries to hide it and because of that no servant has permission to enter her room, not even Mash. But once Van Gogh is summoned, she breaks that rule before anyone can tell her about it
Altria is confused on why Americans keep insisting her name is Artoria.
i want to see Arcueid and Yu talking in Chaldea about being true ancestors
Buff Marie Antoinette rampaging through France and dominating everyone she met until she subdues Jalter in public. (There is an actual manga about buff Marie Antoinette btw)
Knights of the Round Table having an existential crisis after learning that Caster Artoria is not actually an artoria, but a younger version of Morgan
guda gets jack to put on a pair of pants
smut I honestly want saito fucking okita so hard that not only she passes out, but she’s still sore as hell when she wakes up
Hijikata sending the Shinsengumi… on a quest for pickles and takuan, maybe some mayo too.
Lancelot in extreme anguish(Humorous) as he discovers his child(Mash) is fucking the alternative universe version of his Mom(Morgan, who is also Vivian, who is Lancelot's mom)
guda ends up in a re7 scenario somehow
Koyanskaya of Light slowly realizes that OOPS, she's starting to actually fall for Ritsuka Fujimaru, as told through a series of BDSM sessions with the former as the domme and the latter as the sub. She tries to keep their relationship strictly professional, and predictably fails.
smut Altria fucking Artoria explicitly framed as Arturia getting cucked.
Lancelot undergoing intense mental anguish(humorous) when he realizes his technical child, Mash, is fucking the Queen of (Fairy) Britain
Xu Fu and Ritsuka hiding in the bushes watching Yu Mei Ren and Xiang Yu have a date
David, Romani, or Sheba talking with Morgan to see if they are worthy of dating Mash.
Angra stitching all over Ritsuka's skin as a form of therapeutic harm, recreating the same imagery as his tattoos with the stitches
Among us in fate/go????? I know among us is dead but idc, can either be based on the game or gudao summons the imposter
Gudako mostly jokingly says something along the lines of "I think men should dress sluttier" nearest male servant takes this seriously.
smut What if goetia and master fucked at the end of the world before or after they start beating each other to death
Cleopatra/Caesar, caesar should get pegged by his wife
the servant summer camp event but for some reason it repeats. also gudao/gudako realizes that outsmarting cliches won’t work this time, so he/she has to find a way to avoid the cliche without having to see the others die from the failed attempt at outsmarting the cliches, may or may not include save scumming to achieve it
smut, incest tw In attempt to help Lancelot stop seeing Mash as Galahad/Help Mash stop seeing Lancelot as a deadbeat father, they decide to have sex. Would appreciate if you made it as uncomfortable as humanly possible. You don't have to go all the way through btw if you want to write one of these two quitting midway through that's way welcomed.
Any Fandom
Pairing of your choice with a prey/predator dynamic. Smut very welcome but asexual kink is cool too. I just want two (or more) people chasing growling & wrestling each other. You understand. I really want either a chase scene or some sort of hide and seek... either playing up the anticipation of "oh man i can't get caught or i'll be (fucked/bitten/lose this really soecific competition)" of the prey or the "boy i gotta WORK to get this lad" of the predator. Any kind of consent (or lack of thereof) situation is fine, but I do want everyone to be into it. Tbh I struggle so much to find stuff for this specific kink feel free to ad lib as wanted I'll be really happy either way ^^
Any Artoria, facial hair. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED BEARDED SABER INJECTED IN MY BLOODSTREAM. If not facial hair I am also amenable to fuckton of body hair elsewhere. Please I just want more hairy ladies in my life.
Aftermath of sex pollen. So your buddy got hit by the curse of Fuck Or Die, and you fucked it out of their system. Great! How do you handle the aftermath? You just fucked your bff (and/or crush) how do you deal with the awkwardness? do you talk about it? do you just kinda ignore it? i wanna know!! (you can write the sex pollen too if you want but i mostly want the aftermath) Preference would go to Guda/Ereshkigal as a pairing, but any other character is fine ^^
Any, kink negotiation. I wanna see characters in the process of trying out a new kink. Not particularly looknig for porn (tho do feel free to include it,) but I mean everything around it. Maybe one character breaking to another character that they wanna try a new kink. Maybe a couple looking for kink gear, or discussing the dos and dont of a scene, or trying to find the perfect person to ask for a threesome.
piss Any Canonical Master/Servant Pair - Piss Drinking. If cum, blood, and saliva can all be used to transfer mana, there's no reason to think other bodily fluids can't do the same. This prompt is exactly what it sounds like - a Master replenishing their Servant's mana with some piss. Any Master/Servant pairing that's been in canon is fine! That said, I do have some favorites I'd particularly like to see - I'm fond of Rin, Waver, and Kirschtaria for Masters, and Amadeus, Nero, and Enkidu for Servants. But if you're not interested in writing for any of those, feel free to write for a pairing of your choice. I'll be happy regardless.
I would like a story based on the phrase "Don't touch me, but please don't leave me" someone who is extremely afraid of connection and of being hurt by it, but also can't stand being alone and left behind, always longing for someone, while being eternally afraid of being seen
Crossover
I've seen some people hold the belief that Arcueid would be super into Ryougi Shiki, but what if it was the opposite? What if Ryougi was super into Arc instead?
personally i wanna see kiara peg gojo.
trigun & fgo crossover where all four iterations of trigun is trapped in a singularity that chaldea has to fix. bonus points if knives is helping chaldea to fix the singularity while vash and his pals is against it
what if fgo servants of trigun cast? but each ascension is different version of them?(tristamp, badlands, trimax, 98 anime)
Planet Gunsmoke/No Man's Land is a Lostbelt that Chaldea has to deal with. Million Knives is the Lostbelt summoned servant(temporary). Vash the Humanoid Typhoon/the Stampede is the Lostbelt's King. Post-Lostbelt is Vash and Million Knives getting summoned as two in one servants like the dioscuri
Vash and Million Knives, Chaldea's newest two-in-one Archer servants interacting with other chaldean servants, preferably siblings like the Trung Sisters, Nobunaga and Nobukatsu, Dioscuri, et cetera.
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Hi! Your matchup thing looks super fun and is very well written! So could I ask one for myself?
Personality: I'm an introvert, I don't talk much even but when I do it's usually to make a sarcastic or funny comment, I have a good sense of humor and deal with things this way.
I'm not shy, actually I'm very bold and I'm always up to do anything. I'm carefree and spontaneously, I do whatever I want when I want, so I guess you call me rebellious too.
Likes: I'm totally into anime and mangá, it's my hobby. I like playing video games too. I like reading fiction and fantasy books. I love going out and do whatever. I have a huge obsession with spending money, I guess it's alright since it's my money? 😅
Dislikes: I hate when people try to get me to do what they want, like?? I'll do whatever I want, excuse me, it's even worse when they fake kindness just to guilt trap me, like, if you want anything just spite it out??
Strengths: I'm super good at telling people's intentions and emotions, I can "feel" it myself so I always know what's going on into people's head.
I learn new languages super fast, it's my talent and I enjoy it too.
I also value the truth greatly so in exchange, I'm always honest, I can tell the truth even if it hurts, I'm not doing to sugar cut it, I believe it's for the best.
Weakness: My greatest virtue is also my biggest flaw. Remember when I said I have good sense of humor? So, it's true that I always find something to joke about, I'm a very humoristict person but sometimes it's hard to turn it off and be serious for once. Sometimes it makes me look insensible and childish, people say I'm not taking things seriously, I swear I am, this is just my way to cope 😭
Other: My love language is quality time wich is surprising because normally I'm super antisocial and value my alone time above everything, but when I actually invite people to hang out?? You will know that I'm in love 🤯
That's about everything I believe, thank you for everything until here. Full of love 💖💕
Hello new anon! It’s a pleasure to meet you and thank you for taking the time to writing and introducing yourself!
This was very fun for me to read because I already had a clear idea of what hc’s I want to write for you, so I hope you enjoy! ^^
I match you with…~
✦ Match made in heaven hell
✧ Both of you don’t need to talk much to understand each other. Heck, the very first moment you laid eyes on him, you already knew his smile wasn’t what it seemed before you were even told.
✦ Not to worry though; the more time you two got to know each other, he grows quite fond of you. You are a person that knows what they want and won’t take shit from anyone, need he say more?
✧ You’re like a fresh summer breeze, being around you feels easing since he doesn’t feel like he has to hold back much. It’s odd how you’re presence doesn’t bother him at all; of course, he’s not complaining or anything.
✦ He doesn��t need to try anything. You’re an open book because you choose to be. You have nothing to hide and express everything that’s on your mind with no malicious intentions. He values that a lot and is why he can trust you.
✧ He likes how sarcastic you are, seeing you talk to Lucifer brings him great pleasure. Although sometimes completely by accident, Lucifer has gotten irritated at you many times with the tones and remarks you give him. So Satan gets a kick out of it, especially when you didn’t mean to.
✦ But it can also be a double edged sword; if you guys debating or discussing something, he realizes that sometimes, doesn’t know when you’re being serious or not. Don’t get me wrong, he normally catches on quickly, but sometimes you legit say things that leave him bamboozled yet you seem so deadass or say something that seems genuine, yet you expression says otherwise. It’s confusing!
✧ He gets used to it though, understanding that you don’t mean to sometimes. He also learn some human psychology and learned that some humans indeed prefer to use humor as a way to cope from something. It bewildered him, but at the same time left him astonished that that was actually a thing amongst humans.
✦ He spent centuries learning how to calm himself down and not let his emotions take over. Yet you always read him like an open book. Was he just slipping up whenever he was around you? Or perhaps you just had a natural talent at this kind of thing.
✧ In return, he’s also open with you. He will warn you whenever he’s not feeling at his best or something might’ve been irritated him prior to your encounter. He doesn’t want to hurt you or lash out at you when you have no fault in the matter.
✦ Both of you hate when others beat around the bush, so thankfully it never happens between the two of you.
✧ If you join him on one of his schemes to prank Lucifer, he feels like he can even take over the world! Even if it’s obvious that his plan won’t work..
✦ He’ll invite you to try these new places he heard of, but he might think it over a bit when he figures out you have a bit of a spending habit. You’re better off him buying them intend but there have been occasions where you just insist he doesn’t.
✧ Remember how I said he catches on quickly? Well, if you’re the one inviting him to go somewhere or do whatever instead, he knows he’s done progress. He’s not a stalker but he has observed you quite often, and by now he knows that you’d normally want to do things on your own but can’t because Lucifer doesn’t allow it.
✦ It’s like a cat finally letting him pet them and not running away. He’ll be very happy about this but so smug to which ever brother asks where he’s going. It’s a flex, really!
✧ Your quality time together are very pleasant, even if the two of you are sitting in silence doing your own thing. Satan doesn’t like being disturbed, but he’ll let it slide if it’s you.
End
Man, I hope that I got my points across! I had a perfect visualizations in my head but sometimes the words don’t come out right!😔
I hope you liked it though; if there’s anything you think I should’ve added or taken out, just let me know! >;0
Have a good res of your day/night ^^
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Getting nostalgic thinking about my babystay days 🥲 I literally remember where I was sitting and how my computer was positioned when I first sat down and listened to Back Door for the first time (I think that was my first skz song). And fool that I was, my reaction was "meh" 😭
(For context, I've always been a lyrics person with music and Back Door is admittedly not that deep, but I've since come to appreciate that not all songs have to be deep and sometimes what we need is a song that's just there for the vibes and that is perfectly acceptable and serves its purpose and there are some GREAT songs in that category!)
I've obviously since changed my mind about Back Door, but I started liking skz for them (which is every marketer's dream) because I somehow stumbled across them amidst BTS Pinterest and thought they were funny crackheads (one of the things I also loved BTS for).
But I'm also remembering how later that summer (2021) I heard TOP in an anime openings compilation that my brother begged me to put on and—not knowing it was skz—I just stopped and went "wait wait hold up this is GOOD" and then "by Stray Kids" came onscreen and I was like "huh that's funny, but surely it's some jpop band with the same name" and then "3racha" came on in the credits with their respective names and I flipped my freaking gourd as my Southern dad would say
So suffice to say, I can prove decidedly that I would also like their music if I didn't give a flying flip about the boys lol. But I do and it's lowkey a problem but I also lowkey don't care and my fandom Pied Piper-ness has been successful in the past, so it will in fact not be stopping cuz we still constructing keep it coming HAH WHY U MAD BRAH
actually please stop me sometimes
It doesn't feel like that long ago and it feels weird that I'm more "veteran" than like half the Stays in existence now aghhhh but their growth never really hit me because to me, each win just felt like a natural course of events. Like, "yeah, of course this should blow up, it's awesome and we know it's awesome!" And it's not like them getting bigger has changed them either. All that's changed is a growing obsession with grabbing each other's butts imo 🤣 That, and the natural course of maturing a little around the edges as you get older.
Which, in the end, is what makes me STAY and always will. The heart and mind of each Stray Kid is fascinating to me and I can't properly describe how much I love how they process the world around them. If you need any further proof, watch the Maxident album intro segment about what love means to them, because if you see what I saw, you'll see eight men with a better understanding of the concept than many people far older than them, each with their own slant on it.
Where did this essay come from, I was only posting about those first two babystay moments— Rather than rambling further, because I want to do other things with my life today, I'm just gonna say, if you're reading this, Chris, I'm glad. I hope this little segment of my "Stay Story" makes your day a little brighter! You guys inspire me more than you know in more ways than you know, but rather than letting that pressure you, I hope it lets you know that you're doing well.
And if any newer/almost Stays are reading this, I hope this was a fun story and makes you want to get to know them even better!
Because I don't have any better ideas on when to shut up, I'm gonna put on my Chan hat beanie for a second and end this with a biiiiig hug 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Thank you Stays~
Thank you Babystays~
And I'll see youuuu next time!
#that was definitely a cheesy and stupid ending but I think it's funny so it's staying#HA STAYing#my mind is tv static rn so this post and tags are what they are and you guys just have to deal with ut#oh the power i have#but i dont have the energy to go tag spam crazy rn which is probably a good thing#stray kids#skz#skz stay#skz thoughts#hi chris how ya doin
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My main ships that I constantly brainrot about in a summary
this has been in my drafts for the longest time...lmfao
Starting with Axelise!
I created Axelise when I was around...10 or so? Tbf the farthest memory I have of them was when I started drawing them, so it was...during 2016. It first started out with them as lps but as I learned about making them as ocs, that's when I started experimenting on them a little more, hence, they eventually just became furry ocs
So...dynamic? For the most part, they're an opposites attract trope and, because I'm gay ass for childhood friends to lovers with an angst twist(aka "I knew them when we were kids but got separated at some point"), I made them like that. They're also very important to each other since they've helped each other since they were kittens, like helping Axel escape from his traumatic life or helping Annise get stronger and realize her purpose of being gifted in terms of power. That being said, the two of them are "destined" but never knew that(or in other words, soulmates), either way, they both made a promise to always be by each other's sides from that day onwards.
Now for Cloubri!
oc x canon ff7 ship hehem. Most friends and peeps knew Cloubri as Cloustrid bc I hadn't changed Aubri name too long ago...I believe I changed it somewhere back in summer. Anywho, funny things is that this ship was created like...during the time my feet was dipping into ff7, aka the time I had no idea what ff7 was about I was just being a simp for Cloud and, me being me, I love making ocs for characters that I feel attached at first sight, so that's where I started unfolding into the insanity of ff7 in 2020 and I also have the right to blame Sephiroth's reveal in smash bc while I was interested in ff7 beforehand but shy, he was the motherfucker that really gave me that push
"eerm akshually Cloud is part of the LTD" yeah well- you see- here's the thing-
I don't care
Now for dynamic
much like Axelise they have the same "childhood friends that got separated but then got back 2gether after years" deal so yeah there's that for starters. They have massive one sided angst on Aubri's side due to Cloud's own crushes and complications growing up, but she was overall patient, even in their relationship(AC time included). From the moment these cheesy bitches bonded was when Cloud understood that Aubri was stuck to him like glue, knowing how much every part of himself meant to her and took her it slow getting to understand him clearly, as well as always keeping an eye out for his own selfcare and keeping him away from unnecessary trouble that he'd potentially get dragged into since they were little. So I suppose that fits in the "concerned x reckless" trope too.
This isn't to say that these two are my only ships that I'm obsessed as hell with, I often talk about them so, this is a starters for now. But I will eventually get to other ships as we go aight!!
#🌠⇢oc x canon#🌠⇢oc x oc#[⛲]Axelise#[🌅]Cloustrid#[🍰]annalise amagi#[🎤]axel heylel#[🌿]astrid lovelyn#[☁️]cloud strife#oc x oc#oc x canon#oc x cc#oc#furry oc#ff7 oc#Cloud x oc#Cloud Strife x oc#art
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Mother's Day with Bells & Becks
In my life, the thing I’m proudest of is being a mom to my three daughters! My girls are everything to me and I am in awe of all of them and what they’re doing in their lives! They are my best friends, my inspiration, my teachers and my greatest joy! I am so proud of all of them and the women they have become and are becoming!
I love spending time with them and love love it when we can all be together as a family, which doesn’t happen often enough!
We (Baldy and I), have three grandsons with a granddaughter on the way (coming in September)! Watching these boys grow up and seeing what great moms my daughters are is amazing. Boys are so high energy and it makes me tired just watching them sometimes! It’ll be great to welcome a little girl into the mix soon!
I’m so lucky that my daughter Lauren lives down the street and we can all see each other often! I love how she just pops in the my grandsons, Hudson and Graham and we get to hang out together!
Several weeks ago, I received an email from Bells & Becks asking if Lauren and I wanted to do a Mother’s Day Collaboration wearing their shoes and we both jumped at the chance! I’ve had done a collaboration with Bells & Becks a few summers ago and absolutely love their shoes! We had so much fun shooting these photos (as you can probably tell) and we are obsessed with this company and the shoes they sent us!
Bells & Becks makes a variety of the most stylish shoes and there is a style for everyone! I’m loving a mid height heel right now, especially with jeans and the Luna Soft Gold Sling Backs I’m wearing here are absolutely perfect and go with so much more than jeans! Style them with white pants, skirts, shorts…basically anything you want! They come in 4 colors, including silver, black and white…all fabulous! Lauren’s low heel shoes are the Allegra Tan and they also come in black and white, red and cobalt! One of each please!
I’m wearing my favorite straight leg jeans from Mother Denim along with the best white blouse ever from Brochu Walker! Lauren is wearing a beautiful top from Ba&sh Paris!
Bells & Becks shoes range from boots to pumps to mules and sandals and you’ll love them all! Be sure to follow them on Instagram to see their new arrivals and styling ideas!
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed putting it together! Loved collaborating with my Lauren!
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can you handle it?
sypnosis: jeonghan is a real pain in the ass, we all know that. he always seems to get you to do things you never agreed on doing, you try not to fall for them though. what if one day you accidentally fall into his trap and give in, without knowing at all?
pairing: yoon jeonghan x gn!reader (vagina bearing)
genre: established relationship, fashion design student!au, architect!au, smut (18+ only)
word count: 2.9k
warnings: profanity, m!dom, degradation, lots of cum play, fingering, creampie, unprotected sex, pet names, size kink?? if you squint
a/n: bcos the irl girl version of jeonghan (aka my devil angel twin) @shuajeong told me "there aren't any fics of jeonghan lately", thus ✨this is written purely for you and your pain 😘 i have to say though, this isn't my best work :( i kept going back and forth and i rewrote and changed things at least three times so 😖😖 (i'm lowkey done with it so i'm sorry i tried, i really did) please forgive me.
Challenge?
Oh, it’s a challenge, alright.
Annoyed is what it is, lips pressed tightly together as you sink in the indescribable feeling. That’s what was currently happening seeing how there is a huge load of cum in your panties – an ignorant aftermath of your quickie with Jeonghan this morning before he drove you to class.
He even had the nerve to question how long you could stay like that for the entire day. You took that as him asking for a challenge and having been with you for a while now, Jeonghan knew you were never one to back down from them. Having basked in the afterglow of sex sure made you think anything was possible – or more accurately speaking his dick just made you dumb.
Now that it’s almost noon, you’re absolutely starting to regret the choice you’ve made, especially when you’re sitting halfway through your second lecture for the day, simply feeling that load threatening to spill out from the cotton panel, onto your inner thighs and slowly ooze down your legs.
Multiple calls of your name put a halt to your thoughts. A hand waves across your face while your eyes focus and refocus as the silhouettes come into sight. Your friends, Mingyu and Minghao are both staring at you, confusion etched across their faces, anticipating an answer from a question one of them probably asked. But in all honesty, you couldn’t recall the subject matter, nor did you give a shit about their issues because your main concern at this time is to get the hell out of there. “Oh, huh? Oh yes, sorry, yes, I’ll absolutely do that.”
A little laugh escapes from Mingyu’s lips while Minghao frowns. “I said.. What are you thinking about?” Mingyu asks, “You have a weird look on your face.”
“Are you not feeling well?” Minghao chimes in. “We can take n-“
“I’m fine, guys. Just a little tired,” You brush off, not wanting to go too deep into whatever you were currently feeling. It’s not that the guys weren’t close to you. In fact, they grew to be one of the closest ever since freshman year when all three of you showed up in the same pattern drafting class, wary looks on everybody’s faces in a new environment. Since the fashion department itself is small with only a few hundred students enrolled, it also meant that classes were taken with familiar faces, rarely is there a fashion student you haven’t seen before. Not to mention you were always being grouped in numerous projects and that’s how the three of you came to be. Both of them knew of your relationship with Jeonghan, of course, but there’s just some things that are better off left unsaid even if they are your best friends.
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the both of them stealing glances at you every now and then. Even though they didn’t buy your excuse, Mingyu and Minghao knew better than not to bug you about it so throughout the whole three-hour lecture, you could just sense their concern emanating off their bodies. Adding on to your growing anxiety, making you more on edge, terrified that at any moment they would catch a glimpse of whatever dirty secret you were holding in – quite literally. Pulling out your phone, you quickly sent a text.
[12:03 PM]
you: I can’t take this anymore.
hannie: what’s wrong, princess?
You groaned, exasperation coating your breath. Was he playing dumb?
you: you know what I mean, han.
hannie: and what about it?
hannie: if I recall correctly, weren’t you the one who practically begged me to cum inside of you? Was just doing what you asked me to, princess :)
Scoffing in disbelief, you ignore his message, tossing the device straight into your bag, now furious at yourself for agreeing to it.
Stupid dick.
You weren’t even that horny this morning.
The cement walkways on campus greet the three of you as you step through the warm breeze. The sun shining through every leaf on the tall oak trees above you signal the firsts of many beautiful days now that summer is just around the corner. The bright weather is a big contrast to your dampening mood as your feet slowly drag along the blocks, leaving a gap between you and your friends while you try to keep up. You weren’t too keen on walking too fast right now. One wrong shift and you could be at risk of having Jeonghan’s gooey, semi-translucent, and not-so-warm release pooling down from underneath your mound. The two paid no attention to you though, they’re happily chatting about lunch options and the next possible location for studying afterwards. Not that you were going to join them anyways, not until you get the mess in between your legs situated.
“How about donkkaseu?” Mingyu turns around to ask, head whipping back mid-sentence to look at you, only to turn around and see that you’re already gone. His head turns left and right, trying to find you in the crowd of students, squinting his eyes for even a glimpse of your backpack but you’re nowhere to be seen.
“Where’d she go?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Minghao gives him a pointed look. “Jeonghan.” He says bluntly.
Jeonghan works downtown, a full hour away from your university. He was a busy man, well-equipped with knowledge and never failed to take pride in his work, no matter what it was. Your boyfriend was a well-wanted individual – not only with people who desperately wanted to be in his inner circle but also in his field of work with the numerous clients fighting for a slot in his schedule. Jeonghan has never-ending project proposals, spending most of his hours reviewing alterations and redevelopments on his building designs – a perfectionist, you often say or an obsession as others might call it. Knowing how serious his job was to him, you made sure not to meddle in with his profession, seeing how much it irritated him whenever he couldn’t concentrate, but this time was different – and you couldn’t hold yourself back from making the journey. You bow as you greet the secretary at the front desk. She takes one look up from her screen and already knows who you’re here for, immediately telling you of your boyfriend’s whereabouts while you nod back in thankfulness.
Pushing the heavy doors to Jeonghan’s office, the first thing you notice were his eyebrows deeply furrowed upon his face, a definite telltale to the attentiveness of the task in front of him. A few coworkers were surrounding him, each hovered over what seemed to be like another one of his drawing plans. At the click of the doorknob, Jeonghan’s head perked up when he saw you enter. A smile threatens to pull at his lips, but he bites them to prevent the joy from appearing. He’s been waiting for you all day. Having expected you to cave in earlier so he could have an excuse to take a long break. The current deal he was working on was getting to his head even though he’s gone over it a couple times already. He just needs a reset, a breather of some sort, … a release. Jeonghan fakes innocence however when he asks why you’re here. Simultaneously, his brain has already got his fingers wrapped around the string – pulling once, twice, three times, officially starting the internal mischievousness in him. A devious idea accelerating right before your very own eyes.
You furiously start making your way towards him, hair flying in all directions, nostrils flared in annoyance, your cheeks flamed red from built-up anger since the early morning you got to school, and the wrinkle between your eyebrows. You were a hot-tempered mess, you knew that but god, all he could think about was how beautiful you look. The way your eyes are rounded with the curvature of your nose bridge, adding on to the natural tint to your soft lips. Your lips that pout ever so slightly whenever you want something, your lips that taste like a mixture of yourself and that artificial strawberry-flavoured chapstick you apply every morning, your lips he so badly wants to feel against his own.
Your voice cuts through, interrupting his trance. “Excuse me, can I speak to you privately for one second?”
“Of course.” Jeonghan grins, dropping the pen as his hands start pushing his body up from the plush chair, quickly dismissing his staff with a wave of the hand. They take a hint as one by one, each of them starts leaving. He stands up, arms already going around your waist to pull you close, “Hi baby, how was your day?” He asks, head tilting as his hands are already reaching up to run his fingers through your hair.
You open your mouth to spew words, anger bubbling in letters as they boil up to the back of your throat but all of which dies down when the fire is turned off. Blocked off after the door is shut behind the last person when his demeanour takes a turn and switches a whole 180 degrees. His plan finally comes into action as his acting skills gear up. Licking his lips, his hands drop as he takes a step closer to you, hovering over your tiny figure. He’s finally got you where he wanted you in the first place. His eyes peer down from the lenses of his wired glasses, “Don’t you know better than not to interrupt me while I’m working?” He pauses. “What do you think my staff will think if you’re here for too long?” The back of his fingers gently trails down your face, almost feather-like as you try to press your face against his palm, leaning more into his touch.
“Guess you couldn’t keep it in, huh? I always knew you were a little slut.” Jeonghan tsked, “Was my cock not enough that you needed a second filling? It’s only been a few hours, darling.”
He starts walking back to his desk, hands going into his pockets as he leans against the edge. It shouldn’t have intimidated you, the way his eyes bore into yours but you gulped anyways, a feeling of excitement stirring in your lower abdomen as you clenched around nothing. You opened your mouth to retaliate, only for it to be shaped like what seems like a silent ‘o’. One of his eyebrows raise, a silent gesture for you to come.
Out of habit, your legs start moving obediently on their own until they reach the fronts of Jeonghan’s dress shoes. Tracing the outline of his long, toned legs hidden underneath the carob brown material of his trousers, you couldn’t help catching onto the small details of the garment. The modern leg-lines seamed in to elongate his legs, waistband wrapped around his torso showcasing his slim but strong build, the button with its holes as imaginary eyes and a crossed thread disguised as lips silently screaming ‘open me, open me!’.
He grabs your jaw, forcing you to tear your eyes away from his lower half to look at him. “I thought you came here to say something, but I can practically see the drool coming out of your pretty little mouth, staring at my cock.”
“I-“, He spins you around, positions changed now that you’re the one leaning against the desk. Jeonghan dives his head to capture your lips with his. You’re taken by surprise as a gasp escapes from your mouth while he takes that as a chance to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping past your bottom lip; full of need and desire, desperate to let out his frustrations. All your effort is focused on keeping up, molding your mouths together. Your anger is now replaced with lust. His hands are moving down to grip your ass.
Your breath hitches when his lips start trailing down your jaw, gently nibbling the soft skin on your neck before travelling down the valley of your breasts. He doesn’t bother trying to take off your top, opting to unbutton the first few, just enough to expose your lacy bra. Slipping underneath one cup to carefully knead your honey soft skin before latching his mouth onto your nipple, sucking gently but firmly. You whine as he hoists you up and places you on the surface, his face never detaching from your soft and full chest as he quickly pulls your pants off, leaving you in just your soaked panties.
“Maybe it was a good idea to leave my cum in you,” Jeonghan’s fingers hook onto the waistband. He smirks before pulling them down completely, stopping mid-thigh. “Easier to prepare.”
A trail of your slick follows as his digits spread your pussy, using his middle finger to slowly drag up your wet slit. His other hand is gripping your thigh when he reaches down in between, scooping the leftover cum from the previous session and forcing it back into your pussy. You watch with wide eyes only to have them roll back completely when he finishes by stuffing them all the way into you, resulting in a loud moan.
“P-please”
Jeonghan chuckles, satisfied by your reaction. He had you beckoning at his every move yet you were sure the satisfaction still wasn’t enough for him, not just yet. He pulls his fingers out to strip himself of his own pants, popping his member out. The hand with the fingers that were just inside of you is now rubbing all over his cock, using the little beads of precum along with a bit of your slick to pump himself.
Jeonghan’s cock is pretty, like the boy himself. He’s not too big or too small but he knows his angles and he knows how to use them right. Every time the two of you get intimate, which is quite often, his thrusts are sharp, clean and reach to the most inner parts of you – something that leaves soreness inside of you for days. But that doesn’t seem to matter whenever the two of you are having hot and steamy sex five days out of the seven weekly.
“You better stay fucking quiet.”
One hand is gripping your waist for extra support while the other is slowly guiding his length into you. The growl in his voice sends another wave of arousal between your legs, the wetness starting to spill and gather down your thighs. His eyes diverted down to pay attention to the way his length was disappearing inside of you. Each stroke covering his manhood with even more of your juices.
“F-ffuck, baby.” He curses under his breath. “You’re still so tight.”
His voice was breathy, almost like a whine before he picks up his speed, splitting your folds with a sloppy rhythm, expecting to chase both your highs before his coworkers come barging back in. Although the thought of getting caught in such a compromising position arouses him, Jeonghan couldn’t risk letting anyone seeing you in your most vulnerable state. Not when you have all the right curves, exclusive only for his viewing.
At some point, his hands start pulling you into him to meet his every thrust, your tits bouncing as you start feeling the delicious new angle he’s ruining you from. The tip of his cock rubbing against your cervix with every stretch. The familiar feeling of tension starts to build as your eyes squeeze tighter, your orgasm is approaching faster and faster. You’ve never wanted to scream his name out loud so badly when he slams once, no, twice into you, releasing the coil sending intensifying waves of pleasure throughout your whole body. Your tight heat clenching and unclenching around him causing Jeonghan to groan, “Shit.”
“Cum in me.” You insisted weakly. He gives in as he presses himself balls deep, cock twitching as he unloads inside of you, cum shooting in spurts coating your walls in white. The groan emerging from the back of his throat muffled as he quickly smashes his lips onto yours to conceal it. Your muscles move on your own, hiding your own whimper as your lips move together in unison. His body slumps over yours while he rests his head against your shoulder, pressing a light kiss as a way to say thank you.
In the intimacy of the moment, your arms are thrown around his broad shoulders, subconsciously pulling him closer as the two of you try to catch your breaths. When he lifts his head up, his doll eyes are already staring into your glossy ones. A tender smile spreading across his face, pecking your lips one more time before he slowly pulls out. Straight away, the emptiness is evident as his warmth disappears, your hole gaping while he looks down to appreciate the work done on your ruined pussy.
You feel your panties being pulled back up, now snug on your hips as he lets go of the elastic waistband to hear it snap back on your skin.
“Guess you have two loads to keep in now.” A devilish look covering every inch of his handsome face.
“Jeonghan!” you lunged at him. He cackles maniacally, successfully dodging while you attempt to jump on his back. The blood in your veins starts boiling again, both hands reaching up to cover your face when you realize your mistake for the second time today.
Jeonghan’s dick really did make you dumb.
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#yoon jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan smut#jeonghan imagine#jeonghan scenarios#jeonghan imagines#yoon jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan#yoon jeonghan one shot#jeonghan one shots#svt jeonghan
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hi !! I'm curious, how do you think Alastor's childhood with his neighbor was, could you write a little more about his childhood and something about his later relationship in hell? if you don't want to write it there is no problem. have a nice day ~ (and I really like how you write☺☺)
((Awww thank you so much nonny :'D And I would love to explore this AU more!! I really like it, it's cute :'> We need more cute Alastor x Reader interactions. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!))
As a child, you always remembered Alastor as a shy little boy. Really, you were his only friend. He didn't go to school like you did. His mother homeschooled him, while he was too awkward to go make friends with anyone else. Besides, you were really only friends with him because your mothers were friends.
That didn't mean you didn't like your playdates with him. He was soft-spoken and always carried around that silly teddy bear with an ugly bow tie.
You stole that bear, teasing him and hiding it. He cried for hours until your mother made you give it back.
Summer vacations were when you spent the most time with Alastor. That was also around the time when you were playing in his driveway with chalk. He was closer to the road while drawing some kind of radio. He was obsessed with those things. He wanted to learn how to make them.
You were close to his house, drawing a house with a family. At first, you didn't notice them, but eventually, you did when they came riding up on their bikes. You knew them from school, they were a group of boys that lived on this street as well.
Let's just say that day did not end well for anyone. Alastor finally lost his stuffed bear for good, thanks to the bullies. You ended up grounded for a few weeks for covering yourself in cuts and bruises. But each of those boys certainly learned their lesson not to mess with you or Alastor ever again.
But that never changed as you grew up together. Alastor was always in need of saving for some reason. He never got into trouble, but trouble loved finding him. You got into many many fights for his sake.
So you really had no idea what changed now. He was so different from the child you'd run into battle for. In fact, he was more likely to run into battle for the sheer joy of it. So you finally asked him what changed. What made him grow into something he could never be as a child.
And his answer was very sad, in your opinion. However, Alastor didn't see it that way. "You know one day you just get pushed and pushed... and pushed so far... that you just... Snap," He snapped his finger for effect. You didn't ask for details when he told you that. You understood to a degree. But you later learned down the line that it was far worse than you guessed.
Apparently, Alastor didn't just snap, he went full psychopath. He killed a bunch of people then apparently killed himself. It came up in a discussion once. He had asked you how you died. You told him, "I was killed in a car accident. Funny... I was walking then I wasn't. Then I was here."
It was really odd how Alastor kept asking about your death. He wanted details. He wanted.... names. It didn't occur to you at the time what he was doing. But later into your new afterlife, you found that Alastor had found the person that killed you and did... you don't know what... But he did something... To them. They weren't alive but they also weren't in hell.
That was something that changed. He protected you now. Any time you found yourself in the eye of danger Alastor was never far. And he was never kind to whatever threatened you. Trouble loved finding you now and loved making itself known. You thought had been cursed of some kind but Alastor assured you that hell was just this bad. It was a free-for-all and anyone was at risk.
It didn't take long for you to almost always be by Alastor's side. Not only was it easier this way, but it was never lonely. He was so charismatic and bold, never shy, and always looking forward to conflict. This version of Alastor was very different from the one you use to know. But you liked that, you liked how he changed so drastically and went as far as to enjoy every second you had with him.
#alastor#alastor x reader#hh alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hotel#hazbin alastor x reader#alastor imagine#x reader#reader insert#hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#missbliss writes#fluff#drabble#headcanons#short
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Yandere Sirius where his family arranged his marriage to his darling from a young age? Like, he was against it until he finally laid eyes on her and saw how kindhearted and sweet and shy she was, falling obsessively in love while growing up together. She is kind to him but darling already is in love with a muggle and plans to runaway to marry her muggle lover, trying to keep it a secret but Sirius finds out.
[Warnings: Yandere Themes *Obviously*, Imagine Hogwarts is kind of a college, Murder, Mentions of a car accident, stalking, obsessive Sirius (I feel like that’s a warning in and of itself).]
Sirius hated you from the moment he learned of your existence or at least the idea of you when he was young, being told that he was betrothed from an early age.
Of course he hadn’t met you yet, he had just heard your name over and over again until it was time to go to a special ball later that year.
Dressing up in a finely tailored suit, the best quality as there was nothing too expensive or lavish for his family.
Walking into the place like he owned it fully understanding that this event would also be your first meeting with each other.
Rolling his eyes in utter annoyance when he was told it was time to stop flirting with the others there and come meet his future spouse.
Everything changed the moment that he met you however, immediately becoming speechless for the first time in his life.
Gazing into your eyes before shooting you a cocky grin holding his hand out to yours, kissing the back of it when you placed it on his own.
Introducing himself, although being who he was he needed no introduction that much was certain.
From that encounter on he couldn’t help but let his mind become consumed by thoughts and dreams of you.
Noticing how kind and friendly you were to everyone regardless of who they were or who their families were, kind of like him in a lot of ways.
Sans the being kind part of it, sure he was to those closest to him, but even he knew he could be kind of a prick to anyone outside of his friend group.
Seeing you a few times over the years until you both were to begin attending Hogwarts, where you would now be in a position to see each other every single day.
Excitedly greeting you with a kiss on your cheek once he found you on the train, a bit confused by your somewhat cold reaction to his affection.
Figuring it was probably just nerves because it wasn’t like the two of you had ever had unsupervised time together.
Sitting down next to you, becoming slightly hurt when he scooted away a little, not quite sure what he was doing wrong.
Mentioning that the two of you should truly get to know each other if the two of you were to be married in a few years.
Seeing the grimace on your features at the mention of the two of you being together he was far past hurt shifting straight into anger.
Straight up asking you what your problem was at this point, deciding to get right down and dirty to find out the truth.
Shocked when you nervously stuttered out that you didn’t want to get married to him, that he wasn’t the one you loved.
There was someone else who had stolen your heart, a muggle you had met a few summers ago.
Sirius was enraged at this point, but he knew he would ruin everything that could develop between you if he just began screaming at you and threatening you.
So he tried a more tender approach asking you to simply give him a chance to show you who he is, and then make a proper choice.
Agreeing to it just to appease him, having no real intention of getting to know him, just wanting him to stop interrogating you.
Even when you agreed to his idea, he was already plotting the demise of your beloved because no one was going to get in the way of your impending nuptials he was going to make damn sure of that.
Once you got to the school you were all put into a waiting area to await being led into your sorting ceremony.
Heartbroken when you were sorted into Hufflepuff after he was sorted into Gryffindor making you in separate houses.
At first you thought it was going to give you a reprieve from his hounding but if anything the time spent apart would only make his tendencies more intense.
Seemingly turning up out of nowhere when you weren’t expecting him to be there, almost as if he were following you amongst the shadows, which he most certainly was.
Using the map he and his friends had made of the castle to track your every move, knowing where you were and who you were with at all times.
Needing to figure out who the other person meddling in his relationship was, and how to find them.
Finally managing to intercept an owl you had sent to them, having their name and address on the cover, writing it down before sending it off again.
Plotting on how to get rid of this pest without making it seem intentional, or as if he had any hand in it whatsoever.
Fully aware that you would never be with him if you knew he had been involved in the death, seemingly headstrong despite being rather shy.
During winter break he will scope out the place seeing that they lived in an apartment complex, and had a muggle car.
Now that was something that he could work with, something that he could make seem like an accident.
Lying in wait for the next time they left the building, having seen him go into the exact apartment number written on the envelope previously that he just came out of.
Following behind on his broomstick, concealed from view with James’ cloak, although every now and then a peek of his shoes showed through with the breeze flowing through it.
Watching as they got on the motorway, reaching a pretty high speed, he whipped out his wand, sending Bombardo towards the trunk.
A small explosion hit the tire blowing it and the car up into the air, hurling through it as it came down rolling mercilessly on the ground.
Pieces and parts of the fiberglass shell, shattering, breaking, crunching, scattering in every direction from the points of impact.
By the time it came to a rest on the other side of oncoming traffic the remains were flatter than a stomped on tin can.
Soaring up into the sky racing back towards his home, not wanting anything to happen to where he could leave proof of his deed behind.
Ready and willing to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and soul, molding and shaping them until they were his.
There wasn’t another soul that could take you away from him, even you, yourself couldn’t prevent his will from being done.
[I got a little carried away with this one, it got a little longer than normal. Also I apologize I didn't see the part about them wanting to keep it a secret but he finds out anyway! I hope that you still enjoy, and that it was what you were wanting for the most part besides that! <3]
#yandere sirius black#yandere sirius black x reader#yandere marauders x reader#yandere marauders#dark marauders#dark sirius black#dark sirius black x reader
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Angels Roll Their Eyes (2/2)
(gif: @toesure) (PART ONE)
Summary: Hurricane Agatha approaches Kildare Island during the aftermath of the eventful Fourth of July party. JJ and Y/N are determined to continue avoiding each other after what happened at the party, but John B has other plans for them.
Warnings: Smut, strong language, angst, implied physical abuse, depictions of anxiety/panic attacks, and sickeningly sweet fluff.
Word Count: 24k
A/N: Here we goooo! To celebrate the trailer dropping today, here’s part two to Devils Roll The Dice. If you haven’t read the first part, I suggest you read it and come back so this makes sense. This one has all the drama and spice, so buckle up! Thank you for the love and support on the first part. Let me know if you enjoyed this and have fun, cause I had a blast writing it.
Hurricane Agatha.
It was the first thing she heard about as soon as she woke up yesterday to the sound of her phone blaring with an obnoxious tone that reminds her of waking up too early in the morning for work or school.
Her sleepy eyes couldn't make out who was calling, so she pressed the button to answer and lifted the phone to hear her mom's voice squawking through the speaker at her about the hurricane projected to hit the island in the middle of the night tonight.
The problem is, her parents are out of town this week, leaving her all alone to prep the house and endure the storm alone. And for someone who flinches whenever she thinks she hears the sound of thunder in the sky, that is the worst it can get.
It's a fear her friends are conscious of. One time when they were out on the HMS Pogue, a quick summer storm started to drift overhead and it took all of her self control to not fall into a blind panic when thunder began to rumble above. John B was already steering them back in the direction of the Chateau but she knew it would do nothing to calm her nerves until she was back inside of the house.
The anxiety was starting to become too overwhelming when JJ sat down beside her and threw his arm over her shoulder. It was their first month of knowing one another, so the casual friendly gesture made her jump at first and turn her head to look at him, but he acted like everything was normal.
The next person to notice was John B. With JJ currently out of commission, the only person she thought to call to help her prep the house for the incoming storm was him. Since they never got hurricanes up where she used to live her whole life, she needed someone who's been through a couple to help her while her parents weren't home.
That's how she ended up here. Sweating bullets in the front yard of her house as she unloads the contents of the van with John B was not how she envisioned her Saturday night to go, but she's glad she has someone who's willing to help.
In the past five months of being with the Pogues, she's learned that it's lovely to have friends. She never used to have any before she moved, so in situations like this or when she got so drunk at the party, she never would've had anyone to be there for her. It's quiet moments of kindness and companionship like this that make her realize how much better life has been on the other side of uprooting everything to move here—self-inflicted boy drama and all.
The sandbag on her shoulder sends a growing ache through her back muscles with every step she takes to follow him up the length of unpaved dirt path up to her front door. As usual, he makes it look way easier than it is, and it almost makes her want to laugh at how different they are.
Most of her new friends are effortless, naturally picking up anything they decide to try at while she is inept by comparison. It's part of what attracted her to JJ in the first place. He may have his insecurities the same way every other individual does, but in her eyes, he has nothing to be insecure of. Even when he wipes out on a wave and appears out of the water with sand clumped in his salt-kissed strands of blonde hair, he manages to make it look cool.
"What are you smiling about?"
John B's laughter makes her look up from where she concentrated on the dirt path to see him looking back at her. He stands at the entrance to her house with the rest of the sandbags they carried up placed meticulously in front of the door to prevent water from entering the house. They did the same thing with the back door an hour ago.
Is she smiling? She hadn't even realized her expression changed from one of exhaustion and fear at the dark clouds closing in above to a grin, so her face instantly drops in guilt. After running out on JJ for the second time two days ago to go to work, any mention of him from their friends has left her drowning in shame.
She can't recall the bulk of her memories from the night of the Fourth of July party, but she fills in the gaps between those flashes of memory with what their friends told her about it.
Thanks to her overindulgence, there are holes poked in the fabric of her memory.
It jumps from her last fully sober moment of seeing JJ across the room with the kook girl to dancing clumsily with Kie to the floral scent of her makeup wipes that she can't attach a specific visual image to.
Then, she can remember waking up with a start in the middle of the night to throw up in a pot beside the bed while he held back her hair. Before John B explained it, she was quite confused after waking up about how she somehow got from being jealous over JJ flirting with another girl to waking up in the same bed as him.
She grunts as she plops the last sandbag down into place and decides to take a seat on the steps leading up to the door.
"It wasn't anything special," Y/N says and watches him come down to sit next to her, "I was just thinking about taking something so I can pass out and avoid having a panic attack over this stupid storm."
Unlike JJ, she isn't that skilled of a liar. It's obvious to anyone who knows her well when she does it based on the way her eye contact begins to drift away and her voice raises in pitch when she speaks. She's too honest with her friends to handle keeping secrets from them, which is why it's been so difficult for her with everything that has happened recently. Not only does she lie to the Pogues, she also avoids them by association in the process of trying to avoid JJ.
Regardless of how obvious her bluffing is, John B doesn't call her out on it. Instead, he focuses on a different part of what she said.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay alone? I know your parents are out of town till next week..." he trails off into concerned silence.
The tip of her sneaker hangs off of the edge of the bottom step and absentmindedly digs a line into the dirt as she takes in his question.
Being alone when she's prone to panicking is a recipe for disaster. Anxiety and loneliness have a relationship similar to that of a weapon and ammunition. It takes very little for her to fall down the rabbit hole of obsessive thinking and break down into a hyperventilating, fearful mess, especially when no one else is there to tug her out of those dark thoughts.
Most of the time, the people who help her with that are her parents. If they're home during one of these episodes, she'll come stumbling downstairs to them from her room for help, and they'll do everything they can to bring her down from hysterics. Her friends, on the other hand, have yet to witness her have one of those moments.
"Having people with me helps, you know? But it is what it is, I'll just try to cope the best I can and hope for the best."
He nods, and though he's a portrait of understanding, she wonders if he finds it as juvenile and stupid as she does.
Logically, she knows that this anxiety is something many people experience. She understands that it's something that is mostly out of her control but can't help but tear herself apart over it.
She thinks to herself, What kind of weirdo can't sit inside during a thunderstorm or hurricane without losing their shit? Why am I not the one in control of my own mind when this happens?
Do her friends think similar things? Do they think it's as pathetic as she does, or is she just paranoid that they pick her flaws apart as much as she does? And, of course, she wonders what JJ would think if he saw her panic like that. He may have seen her start to become anxious on the HMS Pogue, but he hasn't seen her panic panic before, not in the way that her parents have, and she wonders if he'd think less of her for it.
Right when she's about to change the topic and steer him away from a chance to think of how ridiculous she's being about the approaching hurricane, he says something that makes her look back over at him.
"Then come spend the night at the Chateau. I can distract you. We can play board games and shit."
"Really?" she asks.
The idea of anyone wanting to waste an entire night playing board games and possibly signing themselves up for having to talk her down from a panic attack makes her heart melt.
"Yeah, why not? You need a friend tonight. You know any of us would do anything for you. You're like my little sister, dude, we'd all probably hack off a limb if we thought it'd help you. Especially JJ."
John B's last second name-drop is designed specifically for where he wants this conversation to go. Underneath the need to get his friends back to normal, he does feel a little guilty for having to do this. She thinks he's only offering to let her stay with him to help her—and he is, even if there weren't a rift between her and JJ, he'd still offer—but he has a different reason.
"Right," she says softly. "Speaking of which...is he gonna be there tonight?"
With how often he escapes his house to spend a night or two in temporary safety at the Chateau, it's not an unfounded assumption. He and John B spend more time together than any of them because of this, and when she goes over to hang out, she knows that he and JJ often come as a package deal.
He tries to play it cool and not give up anything that could make her suspicious of him, looking off at the van parked in the driveway as he takes a second to collect his thoughts. It's never easy for him to deceive people he cares about, even if it's for their own good. It wasn't easy when he invited JJ to spend the night a few hours ago with the knowledge that he'd soon invite Y/N too either, but he managed.
As always, Pope is the brains behind this operation. He was the one to suggest inviting them both over to wait out Agatha together when the three of them put their heads together to come up with a solution to their oblivious friends' drama. After JJ stormed out of the house the morning after the party, they knew they had to do something about it. This was what it came to.
"Nah. I offered but he said he's staying at home until this whole thing blows over."
He isn't sure why she buys into it.
She knows JJ well enough to know that he would literally rather eat glass than be trapped in a confined space with his dad for an entire day. Perhaps it's only because it's what she wants to believe. She wants to believe that she won't have to see him again tonight after everything that happened. How can she handle having to tell him why got so drunk that night and made an ass of herself? She can't bear to tell him all of that unnecessary drama started because she was jealous.
What right does she have to feel that way? He isn't hers. They aren't together, and she thinks it's quite obvious that he doesn't want a relationship out of whatever it is they have together. It was one night. She has no right to be mad at him for flirting with other girls because of it.
"Then I'll definitely be taking you up on that offer. Thank you," she says.
The old wooden stairs make a squealing sound when she stands to make her way inside to gather her things for the night, but the feeling of a warm hand gripping her forearm stops her mid-step. Her eyes follow down the length of her arm back to where he sits, glancing at her with this knowing look in his eyes that makes her want to turn and hide.
"When are you gonna talk things out with him, Y/N?" he asks. "He misses you."
Since the party, no one has had the courage to burst her bubble of pretending not to care until now, but now that someone has, all of her bottled up emotions stir inside of her at a simple concept she hadn't considered yet.
JJ misses her.
For the first time since they began this stupid game of cat and mouse, she is confronted with how desperately she misses him back. So consumed with the task of concealing everything that happened and trying to avoid him, she hadn't acknowledged that all she ever really wants is to be with him lately.
She misses his jokes and the way he looks at her when she giggles at them. She misses his smile when they play fight on the HMS Pogue. She even misses when he dangles her over the edge of the boat as a means to end the wrestling match, making her squirm in his strong hold as he threatens to toss her overboard.
But what she misses most of all is how he never lets her fall in. It's something about the way he looks at her as he pulls her back onboard, how time itself seems to stop in the moment between when he's still holding her and when she feels her feet touch the deck again.
Then, they'll suddenly want nothing to do with each other for the next half hour.
JJ will make himself busy forgetting the way her hands felt holding onto his shoulders for dear life, burning the memory of her palm prints into his skin for the next few hours. And she'll try her hardest to forget that charming smile and the feeling of his arms around her. But it won't work, not really, and when they're both laying down to sleep at night, they'll have one thing keeping them awake.
She takes a second to internalize what he said and avoid exposing the effect it has on her to hear it before asking, "Did he tell you that?"
The sky overhead grows darker and darker by the second, but she has yet to notice it due to the topic of their conversation. With JJ involved, her attention shrinks to a tunnel leading only to him. There's no room for anything else but the audacious idea planted in the back of her mind that he might miss her as much as she misses him.
"No, he didn't," John B admits, and right when she's about to say more in response, he cuts her off, "but hear me out. I've known him since we were kids, so I can tell when things aren't right with him, and ever since your relationship with him got complicated, I picked up on some weird vibes."
Y/N doesn't give anything away with how she reacts. He can't tell if she's about to bolt like JJ did or stay to talk and open up to him. All she does is cross her arms over her chest and lean back against the railing.
"Weird in what way?"
"Weird in a way that makes me think you two have to talk it out before you ruin your friendship. I've never seen him act this way over a girl."
That doesn't surprise her. He has a reputation for chasing after any girl available to him, something the Pogues have gently teased him about, and it factors into why she doesn't want to have this dreaded conversation with him. She doesn't want to sit there and listen to him tell her that she was just another one of those girls to him.
Going for broke and being honest about what he thinks of their situation is a better strategy for trying to get her to talk to JJ than the other way around. John B can look back on what happened the morning after the party and see where they went wrong in their approach of trying to get him to talk, but she's less unpredictable and turbulent than he is. The fact that she's hearing him out is enough proof of their differences.
She sighs.
"I know we need to talk sooner or later, but it's hard, you know? I'm so embarrassed of how everything went down at the party, even though I was too fucked up to remember most of it, and I just—" There's a brief second that lapses between when she stops and when she starts again where he can almost see her working through it in her head. "I don't wanna get hurt."
John B's face falls at the mention of the party and her feelings surrounding it.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed of. You drank too much but who cares? The only person who should be embarrassed about that night is the guy that tried to take advantage of you."
That part is the most fuzzy in her mind.
She can remember what led up to it and the moment she saw JJ pull him away from her, but she can't remember anything about the interaction itself. It wasn't as if he did anything to her—not yet—but the thought of it alone makes her skin crawl because she's seen that before. She's been the JJ in that situation, pulling a wasted Touron away from someone who thought nobody would be looking out for other people at the party, and she knows how quickly those situations can escalate past "harmless" flirting.
The sound of JJ shouting at Tyler echoes in her mind as she reaches for any remaining memories left from the party. He said it right after he punched him, when he was starting to rush forward to follow him onto the ground and pin him there.
"If I see you near my girl again, you're fucking dead! You got that?"
She doesn't remember realizing that he called her that at the moment. She was confused and upset and all she wanted to do was stop him from getting himself in trouble, so she pulled him away from hitting Tyler again without realizing what he said. And even now, she tries to avoid acknowledging it. She reasons with herself, telling herself that he was pissed off and didn't mean it, because if he did, why hasn't he told her how he feels yet?
Y/N looks up and sees how dark the converging clouds have gotten in the time since they began working on prepping the house for the hurricane, so her next words are shakier than usual.
"I guess you're right." She pushes off of her spot against the railing. "But can we not talk about JJ tonight? I kind of wanna hang out and forget about the rest of the stuff I've got going on right now."
This makes him feel a pang of guilt inside of him for the ulterior motive he's kept hidden from her for the duration of the conversation, but he knows it's for the best. Even if her and JJ's inevitable conversation goes in the wrong direction and they don't end up mending fences, it's better that they let it out sooner than later. If they wait any longer, it'll make it worse, and he knows that they're stubborn enough to keep this childish game going for another week or so.
So, he keeps her in the dark for now and offers a kind, "Sure, that's cool with me," despite knowing how messy the night will soon become.
A smile pokes at the edges of her mouth, making the sides of her eyes crinkle, and she extends a hand to help him up from where he sits.
"Now," she says as they make their way inside the house for her to pack a bag, "are you ready to get absolutely crushed in Monopoly?"
It started to rain before they left her house, and by the time they pull into the driveway of the Chateau, it's pouring down on them with violent winds whipping droplets at their faces hard enough to hurt.
The rapid pace of her pulse beats with such an intensity, she can feel it in her head. They shouldn't have taken so much time at her place before heading over here. While she was packing, they talked and dilly-dallied the whole time, and now they pay the price for it.
If she knew that it would start this soon into the night, she probably would've hurried things along sooner, but it's too late. She's already starting to feel that tightness in her chest and each breath of air feels less satisfying with every inhale. It's not so bad that she loses complete control of herself, but it's getting there, and she can't express how badly she doesn't want to lose her shit in front of John B.
The passenger side door is slammed shut by the force of the wind behind her, the noise becoming swallowed up in the rest of the budding storm, and she stifles a sound of surprise that escapes her in reaction to it. They're lucky they made it here in the first place. Any later in the night and they probably would've had to take refuge at her place until it blew over.
She decides to focus on how the edges of her white sneakers are swallowed up by the muddy earth on her way through the front yard to distract herself. It stains them a deep brown color and simultaneously washes them clean from the rain coming down from above, which she'd probably be annoyed about if she weren't such a nervous wreck. But, because she's too busy keeping her backpack raised over her head to shield herself from the rain on her way up to the front door, it's not high up on her list of priorities.
Since both the screen door and the door behind it are unlocked, she doesn't hesitate to come bursting into the house as she usually does.
Y/N lets out a deep breath, feeling that telltale tension in her chest and shoulders, and laughs at the sight of John B running in as she kicks off her shoes. His t-shirt is speckled with rainwater, and his hair is saturated enough with it to stick to the sides of his face after he crosses the threshold into the Chateau.
The sound of her laughter makes JJ's heart stop from where he stands in the kitchen.
"There was an umbrella right on the dashboard, why didn't you take—"
Her heart might as well have stopped just as abruptly as the sentence she was in the middle of saying when she turned and saw him standing there.
Maybe they're both a tad too dramatic, but it takes a full few seconds for them to stop staring at each other in surprise. He looks like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide with surprise like he was caught doing something he shouldn't even though all he was doing was grabbing a beer from the fridge.
It's been two days since they last saw each other. For him, the last glimpse he got of her was when he peeked through the blinds to see her pedaling away on her bike to go to work, but hers was somewhat different.
The last time she saw him, he was asleep. Their legs were tangled together underneath the sheets and his face was smushed against her chest, allowing her to feel the soft puffs of his exhales on her skin every few seconds. It's a wonder that she managed to slip away unnoticed once she remembered she had work that morning. He was holding her closely, so closely that she found it hard to discern where she ended and he began in the dazed, hungover headspace she woke up in.
It's when the conversation she had with John B on the front steps of her house comes back to the forefront of her mind that she puts together what's happening right now. Now that they're here, it's far too late to leave. With how aggressively the wind and rain batter the area surrounding the house, it's obvious that they're not going anywhere.
It seems to click with them at the same time, because JJ turns to look at him only a half second after she does.
Y/N says, completely serious, "If you did what I think you did, I'm gonna kill you."
Before either of them can think of doing anything, John B shoots out from the doorway and runs past her in the direction of the hallway where his bedroom is.
"Gotta catch me first!"
They both chase him, JJ hopping over the back of the couch to run after him, but they end up coming to a screeching halt at the shut door right when they hear the lock turn and click.
Neither of them knows what they were planning to do when they caught him, cause it isn't like they'd hurt him, but they bang on the door nonetheless. The sound is drowned out by the sound of the wind and rain pounding the outside walls of the house, picking up speed, and for a second she wants to kick the door open.
She shouts, "John B! Open this door!"
The last thing she wanted tonight was to be trapped in a house with the one person she didn't want to see. Doesn't John B realize how embarrassing it is for her to be around him when she knows that he's gonna reject her? He may have said something about JJ never acting so weird over a girl before, but he's wrong. There's no way JJ actually wants her...right?
"I can't hear you, this storm's kinda loud!" he yells back at them through the locked door. "Maybe try again later!"
Neither of them wants to acknowledge the other. In fact, they don't even want to look at each other right now, so all they can do to stop themselves from acknowledging the elephant in the room is continue trying to get answers out of John B. What does he think that locking them together in the Chateau for the night will accomplish other than make them ignore their own drama and team up to plot their revenge on him?
Though he's significantly less angry than she is, JJ pulls the doorknob enough to make the door whine on its hinges and pleads with their friend, "This isn't funny, John B. Open the door."
"Not until you guys stop being immature and talk to each other."
She furrows her brows at him even though he can't see her, saying, "It's none of your business. You can't just trap us here cause you think you know what's best for us."
The sound of thunder rumbling above the house makes her flinch, hand shooting out to latch onto JJ's arm on an instinct she couldn't consciously resist. Feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her palm and the fingers clutched around his wrist sends shocks of familiar electricity up her body. Touching him always makes her feel hyperaware of herself, leaving her to wonder if he can sense her pulse picking up or notice how her breathing pattern turns uneven.
With that being said, it's safe to say that the night they spent together took that sensation of electricity and hyperawareness to a height it hadn't reached before.
That time, it wasn't a brush of their hands or an arm over her shoulder, it was the epitome of physical closeness. She couldn't handle it. He was so sickeningly sweet with her, yet, at the same time, he knew all of the right times to be commanding and in control too. There were awkward moments at first, sure, but once they became comfortable with each other, it was game over.
And whenever they've touched since, she hasn't been able to get those memories off of her mind. It's less prevalent now, since she's only holding onto him out of fear, but it's still there underneath it all—the unfiltered desperation of the lust in his eyes, the low noises that escaped his parted lips, and the strong pair of hands that pinned her hips down on the mattress to give him the leverage to really give it to her at the intensity she begged for.
It's pathetically easy for her to be sucked right back into the vortex of emotions, memories, and fears that haunt her whenever they touch, but he brings her back out of it just as easily when he speaks.
"You okay?"
John B was as good as forgotten by him as soon as he felt her jolt next to him and grab onto his wrist like she was hanging from a ravine and he was the only thing preventing her from falling. It makes him feel like a fool, but even when they're ignoring each other, the urge to comfort and protect her from anything that displeases her never disappears. He'd literally fistfight Zeus if it meant there'd be less thunder to scare her.
If he weren't hiding behind a locked door to avoid their wrath, JB would probably be calling him a simp right about now.
The concern on his face is so pure and unaffected by any of the chaos that surrounds them, both physical and emotional, that it makes her stomach turn with a sick feeling. God, he really does care about her. Why does that scare her? Why doesn't she want to believe that he cares? Why is she so set on believing that he wanted nothing more than a quick fuck from her?
Her eyes turn down to see their connected hands, realizing all in one moment what she did and pulling her hand away as if she were burned.
"I—Yeah," she stops, looking up at him, then back to the closed bedroom door, "I'm fine. You know how it is, it's just the storm."
They're both left with no choice but to face the music after days of avoidance that had no good reason behind it other than the respective doubts and fears they have. Yet even now that they're standing here, unsure of what comes next, they're hesitant to say or do anything that might disrupt the illusion they've created in the week and a half since they first ruined their friendship for good.
It feels as though the tension that has been boiling between them is coming close to turning explosive and all it will take is one tremor of their self-control for it to spill over.
Every feeling they have feels so contradictory. They want to but they also don't. They almost do it, then hesitate and decide to ignore each other for days. At the party, this tug of war game was at its peak for JJ when she was telling him about her jealousy and cuddling up to him, but he couldn't do it then, not when she was drunk. And by the time he had a whole night to think it over and see her biking away, he didn't want to risk it.
She looks away from him, hoping that "out of sight, out of mind" may ring true for once, and says to John B through the door, "Whatever, have fun. I won't hold JJ back when you finally come out of there though."
He won't actually do anything to him, maybe just a non-serious fight that'll end with her walking in on them rolling around on the floor trying to wrestle each other, but she likes to fuck with him anyway. For the dick move he just pulled, she thinks he can withstand a little teasing.
Without anything else to say, Y/N turns and walks off to make herself useful elsewhere—anything to distract from the buzzing, anxious energy that surrounds her from both the hurricane and being forced to confront JJ. She tries to play it cool though she is anything but at the moment, allowing herself to grimace once her back is turned to the blonde boy still standing against the wall in the hallway.
Maybe if she keeps pushing this false sense of normalcy, it'll work. It worked when they both started pretending things never happened between them initially after they had sex, so who's to say it can't work now?
All they have to do is get through the next 12-24 hours without talking and all will be well. Right?
They tried.
They truly tried to get through the night without inciting chaos within the Chateau, but, for these two idiots, not inciting chaos is a task easier said than done. Not only was John B much more stubborn with staying in his room than either of them bargained for, he didn't even attempt to speak to them for the first five hours and they were left with nothing to do but find new ways to avoid talking to each other.
It was simple in the beginning.
She went off on her own and sat with her headphones in to drown out the sounds of the storm.
With her eyes fluttered shut to block out anything but the sound of The Cure blasting into her ears, there was no reason for her to have to worry about anything once her nerves began to settle. Since the songs drowned out any sound and all she could see was darkness behind her closed eyelids, she was able to drift away with the distraction of the music.
The thing is, after a while, she started to see pieces of him in every song she skipped to. She made it a full minute into Just Like Heaven before a supercut of her most treasured memories of him began appearing in her head. Fade Into You? Skipped as soon as the first dreamy lyric flooded in through the tangled cords of the headphones. Cloud 9? Forty seconds in. By the time Dirty Little Secret came on, she decided that her playlist was mocking her.
The headphones were out of her ears, hastily wrapped up, and stowed away in the small pocket of her overnight bag before the chorus of the song could hit. Thankfully for her, JJ wasn't looking when she ripped the headphones out and put them away in a huff, so by the time he turned to see her again, she was laying down on the couch to "nap"—meaning she laid awake for another hour and cursed John B for making her endure this.
While she was daydreaming of a John B voodoo doll, JJ was worried about her.
Yes, the topic of their relationship/friendship/situationship/whatever-the-fuck-it-is was bombarding him against his will every five seconds, but not without him coming back to his concern for her. A small sound of thunder on an otherwise perfect day was enough to make her zone out and start getting antsy that day on the boat, so he didn't want to know how bad it could get during a time like this.
He tried to play it cool, and, in all honesty, his remaining scraps of sanity lasted a lot longer than hers. Four and a half hours passed, then, as the storm began to do its worst on their town, the power flickered out and left them in complete darkness. At that point, John B was passed out in his bedroom, so he didn't care nor notice when they had to find a few candles and stumble through the dark.
Somewhere along the way, having to search through the dark house for candles to light and place around the living room led them here...he isn't quite sure how.
JJ can hardly open his eyes enough to see through the rain that pounds against him the second he runs after her through the back door. The wind is so aggressive and unrelenting, it almost sends him stumbling a few steps when he follows her blurry figure a few paces behind where she tries to flee the house in a panic.
"Get back inside!" he shouts as he picks up his speed to catch up, "Y/N!"
The part of him that isn't focused on the pure physicality of trying to see and move through the stormy weather is utterly overwhelmed with fear. Not for himself but for her. She's deathly afraid of mild storms, let alone hurricanes, and yet she ran through the back door when he tried comforting her through an anxiety attack. One would think that she wouldn't want to go directly into the thing she fears the most, but what sent her running for the hills wasn't the panic itself, it was him.
It's hard for her to think rationally in this state, but all she knows is that he was there, he was saying all the right things and holding her, and she couldn't do it. The fear began to blend to one centered around both him and the storm. The hours of useless distractions and ruminating in her thoughts built up to this point of contention, then it snapped.
Between the thunder, his voice, and the voice in the back of her head that was urging her to confess her feelings and do as John B advised them to, it became too much. Maybe it was the most idiotic split-second decision she made without any regard for logic or reason or her safety, but she bailed. For the third time, she couldn't handle the pressure and ran from him.
The only difference is that he couldn't let her leave this time.
He gasps for air against the streams of water flowing down his face, soaking his hair and making it hang in his eyes to obstruct his view more than the weather already has. It happened so fast, neither of them are wearing shoes. His feet sink into the muddy yard with every stride he takes in his frantic pursuit of her and it frustrates him no end because of how it slows him down.
There's endless dangerous possibilities with her being out here. She could be knocked over into the marsh by the wind, or stuck and hurt by a piece of debris—merely thinking about it makes him call out her name louder in the hopes that it'll wake her from her panicked trance.
After trudging through the mud all the way to the edge of the yard, he finally manages to get to her.
"What are you doing?" JJ shouts, turning her around and grabbing onto both of her arms as if one gust of wind would sweep her away if he didn't, "You're gonna get hurt!"
Stumbling backwards in the direction of the screened-in porch that surrounds the back door, he uses their difference in strength to tug her away in the direction she came out in. The rain makes it difficult to keep a firm grasp on her, and she almost slips away a couple of times when the wind picks up enough to make him too unsteady to hold on.
His arms slip around her waist for a better grasp on her the closer they come to reaching the house. The last thing he wants is to almost get her back inside and lose her at the last second. She isn't thinking rationally right now with the panic she feels taking full control of her responses. He knows firsthand how it feels to be thrown headfirst into a panic attack, he's been in her shoes before and knows better than anyone the lengths your irrational mind will go to if it means survival. And for whatever reason, her response is flight, not fight.
The door to the screen porch takes all of his effort to open against the power of the wind blowing it back against the house.
He grits his teeth as he forces it open, one arm secured around her midsection, and helps her in before he slips inside too. The second he lets go of the door, it's sent slamming back into place and rattling in the frame behind them, but he doesn't spend anymore time on it other than the few seconds it takes to lock it. As soon as it clicks with him that they're safe—most importantly, that she's safe—he whips around to face her with a cold rage flowing through his veins.
"What the fuck?"
She stands in front of him with water pouring off of her in rapid drops onto the rug, and there are no thoughts in her head outside of the ones telling her to leave. Her tears blend in with the droplets of rain so seamlessly that he wouldn't know she's crying if not for the sound of it.
In between her rapid breaths and sobs, she yells back at him, "I was scared, okay?"
"Why'd you run out into the storm if you—"
"I wasn't afraid of the storm, I was afraid of you!"
The silence that follows is louder than anything they've experienced. Nothing can rival it, not the thunder, the rain, or anything can drown it out while he stares at her in shock. His eyes are wide, lips slightly parted as he reaches for something, anything, he can say in response to that, but there's nothing. For once, he is absolutely speechless.
Things got awkward between them in the initial aftermath of last week, but not like this. There was never an instance where he felt like there was nothing left for him to say to her to fill the uncomfortable silence that always brought forth memories of them together until now. Until she said the last thing he wanted or expected to hear.
His anger subsides as he picks over what he did in his head for anything that could've made her feel unsafe.
Before it evolved into him chasing after her through the hurricane, he noticed how terrible it had gotten for her when he lit the first candle. Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her chest began to rise and fall faster with each second that passed. He could see it on her face that things were getting worse, but, now that he thinks of it, it got worse once he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.
It felt like a dream sequence in his head, so hazy and faraway now that it's over, and he was so stunned by what she was doing, he didn't run after her until a few seconds later. There was a delay in which he stood there in surprise and tried to process what the hell just happened to no avail. Though it wasn't very long, he remembers it feeling like eternity tucked into the cramped space of four seconds.
JJ's voice is softer than she's ever heard it, asking into the void of the near-darkness that encloses them, "What'd I do?" And it breaks her heart in half to hear him sound so concerned, so terrified of the idea that he did something to hurt her when all he did was try to help. "I never meant to scare you, I swear. I know how bad it can get sometimes, and I know we haven't been talking but I'd never try to hurt you if that's what you thought..."
His thoughts run rampant with the possibilities of what she was thinking at the time, and he realizes that he can't stand the idea of her thinking anything badly of him. He never cares about what people think, but, fuck, he loathes the idea of her having any ill feelings toward him.
Y/N immediately starts shaking her head, her face scrunching with the emotion and incessant tears.
"I know you'd never hurt me. I was scared because..." she stops herself mid sentence, catching it right when she was about to admit the one thing she promised herself she wouldn't.
But the need to say it doesn't go away this time. Usually, once she catches herself she comes to her senses and realizes how foolish it would've been to confess, but this time is different. This time, the urge to speak her mind and tell him everything sticks around. The words left unsaid creep up her throat, thrashing and begging to let out after months of being pushed aside.
The look in her eyes is strangely reminiscent of the way she looked at him the night they hooked up, almost yearning in its nature, and he couldn't be more confused. She's scared of him, but she's looking at him like she did when she was two seconds away from jumping his bones. And if he didn't do anything wrong, why was she afraid enough to face her worst fear in order to avoid him?
"Because what?" he asks.
That frustration from when they first stepped into the porch hasn't vanished, it only took a backseat once she said she was afraid of him, not the storm, and he can feel it stirring up again. He's tired of not having answers. He's tired of mixed signals and loneliness and unrequited love. Most of all, he's tired of her running away all the time. At this point, he questions whether or not it's worth it to expose his feelings to her and suffer the consequences.
John B was right. This isn't healthy for them, nor is it healthy for them to put their friends through this along with them, and it might be better to not be friends than to stay this way forever. At least that way they wouldn't be wishing for answers that would never come for the rest of their time together.
She decides at this moment that this has to be said before it gets worse, before she runs away again like a scared, immature child and ruins everything.
"Because," she has to shout over the lightning that cracks down on the earth down the street, something she would be trembling in fear over if she weren't so focused on him, "I've been in love with you for a couple months and it scares me more than anything, even this stupid fucking storm! And I've tried so hard to ignore it because I know you don't feel the same way, but you touched me and I just"—a soft cry escapes her—"I couldn't do it anymore."
There it is.
After months of ruminating over it and hiding everything, he knows, and her immediate feeling after she says it isn't what she thought it would be. She expected trepidation and regret, but what she finds on the other side isn't either of those, it's relief. Her dad often tells her when she's nervous about something that the anticipation is worse than the thing itself, and that has never been as true her as it is now.
However, some of the nerves return with the time that passes after she spoke in complete silence. Much like the delayed reaction he had to her running out of the house, it isn't as long as it feels to her. It's a short span of time that it takes for her words to process with him, but it feels like an eternity that he stands there with his head facing the floor in quiet contemplation.
Her heart sinks.
This means he doesn't feel the same way, doesn't it? If he were the one telling her he loved her, she likely would've leaped into his arms and said it back, but he stays where he is.
Then, after what feels like forever, she thinks she sees him start to smile and feels like she's losing her mind. It's quite dark out here, so there's only a limited amount of light to allow her to see his features, but there's no doubting it when a flash of lightning floods the porch with a split-second of harsh light.
Oh God, why is he smiling? What does it mean?
Much to her frustration, the first thing he says after her confession isn't much help in making her understand his feelings either.
"Why didn't you just talk to me?"
Why? The voice in the back of her mind asks incredulously. Is he seriously asking why? He ignored me too. He didn't want to talk about it either, so what else was I supposed to do?
Maybe she was undeniably worse when it came to the avoidance and lack of communication, but he could've reached out to her too. They both could've. Instead, they spent day after day waiting for the other to make the move and pushed the tension further and further until it finally broke. Now she's waiting for him to hurry up and reject her so she can move on with her life.
She shivers from the wind blowing at her wet skin through the screens separating them from the outside world, crossing her arms over her body to hug herself. His eyes follow her movements down to the breaths that are slowly evening out without her realizing it. It turns out that confessing your love for the guy you've been crushing on since the day you met him is a hell of a distraction.
"I thought you wouldn't wanna hear me being all emotional and shit over a one time thing. You've literally never had an actual relationship before. And that's fine," she rambles, "I'll be okay eventually, but that's not who you are and there isn't a problem with that. I just caught feelings when I shouldn't have."
In her defense, she isn't making baseless assumptions about him, he hasn't had a relationship before. His love life hasn't ever really revolved around love itself, it was mostly comprised of random chicks he'd meet at parties or at the beach during the summertime when tourists come to visit the island. Out of all of them, he's the last one the Pogues would expect to fall in love with someone and commit to a relationship, but then...
He looks over at her with a swell of emotion within him that he's never felt before. It wasn't like he hadn't known before now. He did. He even said it out loud to himself that morning after the party, but this is when it feels the most real. Now that she's said it to him, he doesn't feel so stupid for toying with the four letter word in the back of his mind for the entirety of the past week.
In all honesty, he was the last person he would've expected to fall in love with someone this quickly too. He thought he knew himself better than this. He thought he could keep himself hidden away and not let anyone close enough to see him—the real him, faults and feelings and vulnerability included—but she proved him wrong. In walked Y/N with her pretty smile, teeny bikini bottoms, and oddly strong opinions on Ratatouille, and he stood no chance.
This sudden crescendo of emotion only continues to grow when he watches her shiver, soaked to the skin, across from him and decides that he never wants to deny himself of her again. Those feelings of inadequacy that forced him to question his relationship with her may not have gone away, not by a long shot, but they can't stop him anymore. Nothing can.
Like a light flickering to life in this swirling, stormy darkness, she hears JJ's voice asking her, "What if it is who I am?"
It was said so softly, she nearly lost it beneath the rain and wind. But it was not said with a lack of certainty, which is why she questions if she heard him correctly. He sounded so sure of himself that it feels too good to be true. After his reaction, or lack thereof, to her telling him she loved him, she accepted what was coming and this was not it.
"What?"
He doesn't miss a beat.
"You heard me." There's a pause. "Maybe I needed to meet the right girl."
There is no way he's saying what she thinks he's saying because if he is...if he is then that means the tears and frustration have all been for nothing because he loves her back. But if he loves her, then what was with the kook girl? Was it to make her jealous, or is she misinterpreting him right now and he was flirting with that girl because he doesn't have real feelings for her?
"JJ..." she trails off, looking down and thinking to herself how thankful she is that it's too dark for him to fully see how nervous he made her, "don't do that."
Partly, he should feel offended that she'd think he'd toy with her feelings like that, but he isn't. He's too busy wondering what on earth made this poor girl so insecure to think that someone has to be joking to confess their love to her. It makes him wonder if anyone wronged her before she moved here, and he feels that switch of impulsive anger inside of him flip at the thought.
But that anger has nowhere to go, so it shifts into something different—a need to spend every waking moment of the rest of their time together proving to her that she doesn't have to be so afraid. Does it make him a hypocrite? Probably. It wasn't too long ago that he was telling the Pogues how much he didn't deserve to be with her, but he doesn't see himself the same way he sees her. In his head, he has reasons to believe he doesn't deserve her love, but how could she ever think that herself?
He steps closer to her, the movement something so natural and unconscious to him that he doesn't recognize he does it until he hears her breath hitch in the back of her throat. They were already close enough to reach out and touch each other if they wanted to, yet now it's the kind of closeness that wipes the slate of her mind clean with nothing else but the thought of him there to stay.
He starts to say, "I'm not fucking with you, dude, I'm being serious—"
"Then prove it."
Oh.
The sound of his unfinished sentence lingers on the tip of his tongue as he blinks away his surprise at what she said, though it was less of a statement and more of a challenge. What the challenge is, he isn't too sure, but he thinks there could be a couple of meanings there.
The fire in her eyes when she looked up at him is one he recognizes very well, it stars in one too many of his daydreams that center around their secret night together. She rose to the occasion without fail and matched his chaos every time, and that steely-eyed stare is reminiscent of it.
Yet, the sexual undertone isn't the only part of it to be discovered. There's a clear meaning there for him to actually prove it, to put his money where his mouth is, grow a pair, and tell her how he feels with no room for confusion. No more miscommunication, running away, or insecurity getting between them, just a clear cut confession like hers.
His hand runs through his hair to sweep it out of his eyes and keep the wet strands from dripping down his face. It helps him see her a little better too, grounding him to the moment and calming him at the dimmed sight of her expectant, wide eyed gaze.
There were a million versions of this whenever he let himself imagine admitting it. He only let himself picture it on the worst days, days like the one two days ago when he went home to his dad, ending the night by cleaning his own cuts and inspecting his own bruises in his locked bedroom. He did it to distract himself from wanting to storm out of the room and finally kill the son of a bitch after years of suffering in silence.
JJ closed his eyes, shaking with anger, and dreamed of how he'd tell her. There were versions with long speeches that were far too sappy to exist outside of the realm of his imagination. There were versions with him burying the words between friendly jokes to play down the extent of his feelings too, but he thought it worked best in its simplest form.
So he puts it as simply as it gets, lips fighting a soft smile as he crosses the space between them and rushes in to kiss her. It's charged with an accumulation of the pent up love, anger, and sexual desire that has been repressed until now, resulting in something utterly explosive.
He stops for a second to whisper, "I love you too," into her parted lips, and she finally lets herself go at the sound of those words.
Forget that they've only known each other for five months, when you know you know. This is the real deal. This is the kind of feeling that possesses every accessible inch of her heart and she'd never be open enough to admit that to anyone but him at the moment, but neither of them minds that. It's such a new, rapidly developing feeling that they want to protect it and keep it close to them for the time being.
His arms twine around her waist, tugging her the last bit forward and leaving no space between their bodies this time. The sudden movement draws a sharp gasp from the back of her throat and sends her hands out to brace themselves on his shoulders. The sound of the gasp that disappears into their connected mouths only fuels him on more. It makes him more eager with how he touches her with his hands drifting down the plane of her back, one of which playfully slipping beneath the hem of her soaked shirt in a way that makes her smile into the kiss.
He knows exactly what he does to her. He can sense it in the small reactions that would often go overlooked if it were someone less familiar with her.
It's easy to tell by the way she completely surrenders herself to him, letting out these soft little noises she doesn't even realize she's making when he takes control of the interaction and kisses her like he's starved for it. In a way, he is starving for affection and attention from her. He never knew it was something he needed so badly until he got it, and now he never wants to go without having her again.
That's why it doesn't surprise him when she starts getting antsy after a moment or two, especially after keeping away from him for days.
Her hands run down the length of his chest over the soaked t-shirt, taking a quiet victory in how his stomach flinches inward in response to her exploring touch, and she could swear his next exhale trembles as she continues lower. Never once does she break the kiss, which, by the way, has gone past the point of being passionate and straight to downright needy, but her concentration does falter. The perfectly paced rhythm of her mouth moving with his is interrupted when she touches him over the fabric of his shorts.
Those plushy soft lips go on an exploration of their own too. Leaving him with the first opportunity to catch his breath in minutes, she dips her head beneath the sharp edge of jaw in pursuit of the sweet spot she remembers reducing him to a grabby, moaning mess the last time they did this. It doesn't take her long, not if the tightening of his arms around her and the satisfied hum of a moan she feels vibrate beneath her mouth has anything to say for it.
He loses himself in it for a second or two...okay, fine, maybe ten.
The separate sensations combined spark a flame inside of him that burns so hopelessly for whatever she'll give him. His mind sends him images of them together, both real memories from their first time together and imagined fantasies he only let himself visit in his dreams, and he realizes how thinly spread his self control has become lately.
First, it's the thought of her from last week, thoughts of her gasping, writhing, and begging beneath him that makes his cock throb under the teasing contact of her hand through his shorts. But then he's brought elsewhere. Then, though he hasn't thought of it since the day after the party, he thinks of the mix of jealousy and anger he felt when he saw Tyler with her.
He remembers being sane one moment and charging across the room like a madman the next. He remembers how it felt to watch another person's hands slip under her dress, how it felt to see someone else try to kiss her the way he had, and this raw wound of a memory is all it takes to spur him into action.
It happens so quickly, she doesn't even notice what's happening until he has her scooped up in his arms with her legs around his waist. She doesn't even have the chance to voice her surprise or crack a joke at the expense of his neediness before he reconnects their paused kiss with enough force to make her teeth ache in the collision.
JJ's rings are colder than ice, digging into the flesh of her thighs as he holds them with a tight grip and blindly takes the few steps necessary to reach the back entrance of the house. His wet handprint smudges on one of the cracked-open glass doors and sends droplets of water dribbling down the surface. The teardrop of rain zig-zags at the swinging motion of the door on their way in, only changing course again when he nudges it shut behind him a little too loudly.
"Wh"—her question is cut off by him laying her down on the rug-covered floor in between the couch and coffee table—"What if John B wakes up?"
His first thought was to bring her into the spare bedroom, but then he realized that it shares a wall with John B. Then, he considered the pull out couch but realized that would be louder than the room adjacent to their friend's. His only conclusion was this.
It isn't nearly as romantic as either of them would've pictured, but they're not exactly picky either. They're so desperate for it, they'd likely do it on the porch in the middle of a hurricane if there weren't another option. And in their own weird way, they make it romantic.
There's no one else she'd rather risk rug burn for, and that is the peak of romance.
"John B sleeps like a fuckin' rock," JJ says, "and it's own his fault for trapping us here anyway."
He follows her down onto the floor without a second thought, not even looking up to see if they woke their friend with the sound of the door shutting behind them.
Hovered above her, he looks particularly captivating in the flickering candlelight. The fire burning in one of the three-wick candles they scoured the bathroom cabinets for brings out the warm hues in his blonde hair and highlights every edge of the angular face that looks down at her. The porch was far too dark for her to see him in all of his near-perfection, but this is enough for her to notice a multitude of things.
His slicked back, wet hair allows her to see his features better and the way he looks at her...it's enough to make anyone feel red in the face. How hadn't she see it before? She knows it was denial, but, somehow, she used to overlook the small hints along the way like how he looks at her like she's the only thing that makes sense to him. For the first time in a while, she allows herself to embrace the idea of being loved without looking for something to justify her fears surrounding it.
The sound of her voice brings him out of the mesmerized trance he fell under at the sight of her.
"I've missed you," she says softly, "like a lot."
The sweet admission slows him down for a second, making him stop to ignore the distracting desire that she sparked to life a moment ago and take the time to cherish this moment of rare serenity with her.
It's a wonder that she hasn't even acknowledged the storm raging on outside since they've come back in. It's all thanks to him, of course, since she's been too focused on everything happening between them, but it surprises him. It makes a sense of pride flare up in him on her behalf for being capable of forgetting something she fears so much.
But, on the other hand, it reminds him of how distraught she was right before their conversation/argument on the porch shifted from her panic to the topic of their relationship, and he can't help but hesitate a little.
"I missed you too." The hand he isn't using to support himself above her cups her face, his thumb tracing the line of her cheekbone. "Are you okay though? You were just crying and I don't wanna make you—"
"Yes."
It was so said so quickly, there was zero hesitation. It's not that it doesn't surprise him that she's as eager as he is after what started to happen out on the porch, but it does make his eyes widen a little. His mouth curls with a slight grin. It's the kind that never fails to make her stomach fluttering and light with butterflies.
"You don't have to worry about me. I'm okay, and I promise I'll let you know if I'm not," Y/N clarifies.
"Okay."
There's a short moment where all they do is look at each other with a complete loss for words to convey what they feel right now. It isn't as awkward as it would've been prior to tonight. Before they confessed their feelings, they wouldn't have been able to look at one another for any longer than a few seconds without needing to walk away to break the tension. Now, things have changed. They don't feel the need to conceal how much they care anymore.
They're still the same bickering duo they've always been with the added fun of being head over heels. She never used to understand how some people could let their feelings for another person drive them crazy, but it's done more than make her crazy this past week. It made her jealous, obsessive, and somehow happy too, and no one has ever made her feel so many varying emotions in her life.
Her fingertips graze the stretch of skin between where his cargo shorts sit on his hips and his shirt rides up the side of his torso, and he swallows thickly at the feeling.
"Do I make you nervous?" she asks.
Her lilting, smooth voice is enough to soothe any nerves he could possibly have. It's as if hearing her ask that paired with the hand teasing the waistband of his shorts pulled him back to the place he'd been before when she was teasing him over his clothes.
He answers honestly, his head going fuzzy with the crushing desire that courses through him, "Not as nervous as I make you," and closes the space between them again.
The cheeky comment doesn't go unnoticed by her, not one bit. It makes her face heat up in embarrassment that is purely instinct after having to hide her feelings from her for so long. Maybe after they've been together for longer, it won't make her blush every time he acknowledges the effect he has on her out loud, but that day isn't today. Today, she goes hot in the face from a sole second of his attention, let alone this.
JJ lets his hand climb up the length of her torso as they kiss as if they have all the time in the world, as if their best friend isn't sleeping less than twenty feet away from them, until it flattens at the base of her neck. It doesn't curl around her neck and squeeze, nor does it do anything but remind her how much she loves the feeling of him touching her, the large palm of his hand simply stays draped over her throat to flaunt his ability to sway her nerves.
She's pretty sure if it were anyone else, it wouldn't work, but he's JJ for fuck's sake, and the quiet display of dominance sends an exhilarating little thrill rumbling through her. It isn't anything over the top or exaggerated like some people would do in an attempt to stake a claim over the person they love, just a simple gesture that they both know the meaning of.
She's his. After five months of friendship, two months of silent pining, and a week of sexually confused hell, she's his, and he'll never let her forget it.
The wind rattles the windows over the couch with its force and she notices that his hips grind into hers at the sudden sound. Even in the midst of such a heated moment, it's downright cute how he still makes an effort to distract her from what she fears. And, boy, does it work.
Their panting breaths in the brief seconds they allow themselves to break away from each other are the only sounds audible in the small living room. The storm drowns it all out for now, including the noises that start to leave them from the steadily building pleasure of their bodies moving together.
She can feel how hard he is through the layers that separate them with every absentminded thrust that brushes the fabric of her panties up against her clit each time. It leaves her breathless and wondering, despite already knowing, what it'll feel like when he finally slips inside of her again.
They both fantasized about it in the time they spent apart. Neither of them would dare deny it, least of all JJ. It actually became frustrating after a while because she started to become the only scenario he could conjure to get himself off when he had a rare moment of privacy. His fantasies, all stemming from the night that was so perfect, he began to question the reality of it, linger in his head.
The best part of his fantasies were the parts of them based in truth, and if he knows anything about her when she's in this state, it's that she's needy. Her tongue swipes along his bottom lip in a silent urging to let her deepen the kiss, and he complies without a second to spare, willing to entertain her every whim so long as she keeps being so good for him.
He revels in her muffled squeak of a moan when he presses down on the sides of her throat at the precise moment his hips grind down to meet hers. She can't keep herself still for any longer than a half-second, always meeting his movements halfway and unknowingly doing another thing that will be the death of him.
She leads his shirt up his body without having to second guess herself, knowing that he's always on the same wavelength as her no matter what. This was how it was the last time too. Anything she did, he was already one step ahead, and tonight isn't much different. By the time her hands ball up the dripping cotton fabric, JJ is lifting the hand off of her neck to reach for the neckline of the shirt and help tug it off.
There's a sense of urgency in everything they do. Charged up with frustration and jealousy that brewed within the days they spent apart, there's nothing to stop them from reducing themselves to a pair of panting, impatient lovers too consumed in each other to care about the outside world.
The sopping wet fabric is thrown beyond her line of sight and lands on the hardwood floor with a 'thwack' that accompanies their cacophony of moans and gasps, and she whimpers at the sight of him. It may have to do with the fact that he's guiding their bodies together at a cadence and pressure perfect enough to make her legs tremble, but seeing him like this does nothing but aid the sensation.
Golden skin glistening under the candlelight, tendrils of half-dry blonde hair falling into his face with the lazy effort of his movements, and a stray raindrop that squeezed from the wet shirt dripping down his chest...she's not gonna make it out of tonight alive, is she? In her memory, she knew he was a sight to see in the midst of a heated moment, but, fuck, memories do not hold up beside the real experience of it.
Y/N is so caught up in his seemingly endless beauty, she doesn't notice him peeling her damp denim shorts off of her hips until they're halfway down her legs, and the only reason she does notice is because he must shift his position to do it. Suddenly, the budding feeling that stirred from their needy antics is plucked away and left to ache for more in the absence of him between her thighs.
Her middle and index fingers hook around the front of his necklace to pull him back down to her, but he doesn't budge at first. He's too busy trying to rid her of her shirt to care.
It was too much of a distraction while they kissed for him to resist slipping it off of her when he got the chance to. Much to his frustration when he first realized they were trapped with each other, she's braless underneath, and it's only worse now that the t-shirt is soaked to her skin and clinging to every delicate curve.
Once the clothing gives way to the canvas of her bare skin, he submits to her urgency and follows her down by the fingers hooked around his necklace without any qualms.
As soon as they resume, it's as if they never stopped to begin with, and they start to realize how seamlessly they fit together as the seconds elapse. Neither of them are actively thinking about it while he dips his hand into the front of her panties, but it is in their subconscious.
It's a revelation of sorts, an ah-ha moment where it hits them both in a sweeping realization that it was obvious from the day they met. They should've known sooner, they should've dropped their pride and admitted it as soon as the first inklings of desire began to pop up, but they didn't. Instead, it washes over them now and they let the current take them away together.
Her mouth falls open against his cheek at the feeling of his fingers swiping through the arousal that pools in her underwear for him, dragging the wetness over his fingertips and spreading it up to brush fleetingly against her clit. It's a split-second of a touch that it makes her hips lift up off the floor on their own accord to seek out more. It makes her dig her nails into the skin stretching over his taut shoulder muscles in a wordless plea for more that he doesn't indulge her in at first.
He makes her earn it from him without having to say a single word. He touches her, but he doesn't touch where she wants or ease his fingers into her to satisfy the need she feels yet. It's a blessing and a curse that he manages to turn her on to such an extent. He does it for her like nothing else can, so much so that she's noticed a distinct difference in how it feels when she's alone versus when they're together. When she's alone, it can tend to feel like active effort, but when she's with him, it's as natural as the urge to breathe.
His smirk is felt against her skin the entire time she begs for it through the revealing actions of her body—her hips jerking up toward him, her chest pressing tightly to his, and the sound of her murmuring, "Please," in a breathy tone that could stop his heart.
"Tell me what you want," JJ says, every word constrained and tight in a way that tells her he's a lot less composed than he lets on, and "accidentally" swipes his thumb over her clit again. "Talk to me, baby."
She almost forgot in their time apart how much of an effect he has on her, but this is the best reminder of that she could possibly imagine. If she could, she would find a way to bottle the feeling he gives her and keep it with her forever so that, no matter what happens between them, she'll never have the misfortune of forgetting him.
What he said simultaneously melts her heart and frustrates her to no end because he knows! He knows damn well what she wants from him and won't give it to her unless she asks for it, and she hates herself for loving it. She hates herself for enjoying the flushed-face embarrassment it brings to her cheeks to be so open with him about what she needs.
She swallows the lump in her throat and tries to focus through the clouded landscape of her head to speak to him. It's hard to concentrate when he's above her like this, touching her, calling her pet names, and looking at her like that.
With his lips worshiping the sensitive skin along her neck, she finds it hard to choke out the words, "I want you," into the humid air that has infiltrated the house.
It's not a lie. Anything regarding her wanting him or any related feeling is no longer something she can hide anymore, but they both know it isn't exactly what he wanted. No matter how it took his breath away to hear her say it, he was seeking something more specific. He was aiming to make her ask, maybe even beg, for it. They're both too impatient to wait and based on how wet his fingertips are from barely dipping into her, he can tell she's as eager as he is.
It's been thirteen days too long since the last time they allowed themselves to meet this way, and neither of them wants to let it happen again.
She was nearly trembling with the urge to go to him whenever they were together in the company of their friends, unable to think about anything except for how badly she wanted him. All the while, he appeared so unbothered, especially on the night of the party when he flirted with someone else, that she didn't even believe he felt the same way back. Thankfully for her, she couldn't have been more wrong.
He clicks his tongue and says, still teasing her with light touches that never linger in one place for too long, "That wasn't very specific."
Part of her should know that he's about to do something based on how he withdraws his head from its cherished place in the crook of her neck, but she's too caught up in the anticipation and seeing his face for the first time in a minute to think about it. How dare he look so good? She could cry in frustration, although she might actually already be tearing up a little with the rush of neediness hitting her in its full force.
Never has she felt so turned on by so little physical contact before. It usually takes longer for her to get to this point, whether it be alone or in the past with previous partners, yet all it took was being kissed, touched, and being given his undivided attention and now...She realizes she's in trouble. He has her in an emotional and sexual chokehold at this point, and she fears that no one can compare.
"I want—" her voice is snuffed out in an instant when he eases two fingers into her, "Oh!"
So that's why he pulled away from her neck to look at her.
It was worth abandoning the mark forming on her neck just to see the expression on her face shift. She gets this cute look when anything overwhelming starts to happen where her brows scrunch a little to create a soft wrinkle between them as her mouth drops open in a moan. And after ten steady minutes of doing nothing but some over the clothes action and painstaking teasing, this is as overwhelming as it gets without it crossing the line to being too much.
It never occurred to her how much larger his fingers are compared to hers until now. This type of pleasure is like an itch only someone else can scratch to her, she feels virtually nothing when she does it to herself, but when he does it, it's like an explosive being set off inside of her. Especially with the thumb that sneaks up to circle her clit without stopping to tease her again, she is putty in his hands at this point.
Every smooth stroke of his fingers into her reaches a spot she can never quite find on her own, and she can feel the cold bite of rings when they're buried into her to the knuckle.
It's a surprise every time, even when she knows to expect it. Like a delightful chill running up through her body and down her spine exactly how it's intended to. It strikes an idea in her head for when he eventually pulls them out of her, conjuring the image of her sucking them clean for him just for the sake of imagining what it'll do to him.
With that idea tucked away in the back of her mind, he's the center of her world right now. All she breathes, thinks, and feels is him. Whether it be the sight of him, or the feelings he's giving her, or even the taste of his kiss that still lingers on her tongue, it connects to one common thread.
"What were you saying?" JJ asks, and she wants to wipe that smirk right off his face.
It's virtually impossible for her to piece together a coherent thought, let alone a sentence detailing every filthy idea she has for him, but she tries. It takes another moment or two of her succumbing to the rapid incline of pleasure that he gives her, watching her in wonder through any greedy buck of her hips or gasping inhale that makes her head loll back onto the floor.
At first, what she wanted to say was that she wanted him to touch her, to do anything more than the fleeting touches he gave before. Now, she wants more than that. Now that she's drawn in closer to the eventual high that's to come, she doesn't want it to happen like this. She wants to feel closer to him than this, wants to feel him throb inside of her and fuck her with all of the urgency and desperation that has accumulated in their time apart.
That's why her hands start to grab at the belt loops of his shorts to tug him closer by them, meeting his gaze through the hazy bliss of his fingers pumping into her. It's not enough.
"Please"—she keeps pulling him closer to her, so close that there's hardly any space left to cross, and he revels in her desperation—"just fuck me already..."
Internally, JJ is losing his shit.
Though this was what he wanted, what he coaxed out of her with the teasing and the pretend sense of a nonchalant attitude on his part, it hits him harder than he expected it to to hear her say it. It's not necessarily the act of begging itself either, it's the fact that she's the one doing it. She may have been jealous of the girl at the party, but she had nothing to worry about. Not in the slightest.
Before her, he never thought he'd fall for someone this way. It's not like he had a hatred for love or anything, he understood the appeal, it simply wasn't his thing.
He was perfectly content with his only form of companionship being his friends. Then, she came along and changed it. So to hear her say something like that isn't just breathtaking, it's the kind of thing that makes his heart ache for her. It hits him precisely where she wanted it to, and he has never felt as consumed with love the way he does now.
JJ can do nothing to stop himself from pouncing on her at this point, like some animalistic form of himself has worn down the restraint he used to keep himself at bay.
The loss she feels when his fingers slip away from her is an emptiness she mourns at first before she realizes what's happening. He pulls away slightly to reach down between them for the front of his shorts, and their hands clash as they both frantically try to undo them together. The rings adorning his fingers glisten when they catch the light and remind her of the thought that popped into her head when she first felt their coldness against her skin.
That idea paired with the promise of what they're trying to accomplish in their uncoordinated attempt to get the rest of their clothes off makes her want to press her thighs together. Her hands abandon the task of undoing his shorts for the sake of ridding herself of the last layer that separates her from him.
Her most embarrassing old pair of brightly colored panties, courtesy of past Y/N's questionable decision to trust her mom to buy some on her behalf, are hardly a sight to behold. They're the kind that come in a value pack from Walmart, vibrant blue with the word, "Tuesday," printed on the front of them, and she could hide her face into the rug in shame if she weren't so determined to get them off. Of all the days to wear the day of the week undies her mom accidentally got her, of course she chose today.
By the time she reaches for the waistband, he has pushed his shorts and underwear down his thighs and comes back to her with just as much excitement as he left with, but when he helps her tug her panties down her legs, he laughs. Apparently, he had also been too eager to touch her to notice what was written on them before.
"Cute," he breathes out through a laugh, then adds as the cotton fabric slips over her knees, "Pretty sure it's not Tuesday though."
"If you tell anyone, I swear I'll—"
He cuts her off, "Whatever you wanna threaten me with won't work, chances are I'm gonna be into it."
Her eyes are alight with a certain fire he's had yet to fully lure out of her. Even her voice is slightly more airy and seductive as a result of it.
"Promise?"
JJ grins down at her as he finally tosses her panties aside with the rest of their clothes, "Cross my heart, pretty girl."
His hands grip her thighs and tug her down the rug to him with a quick jolt that snaps them out of the playful nature of their back and forth teasing. No matter how lighthearted of an interruption it was, the mini-conversation might as well have never existed for how easily they fall back into it again.
She watches with her forehead pressed against his as he strokes himself a few times, then drags his tip, messy with precome, through her wet heat. And though she watches it happen, her body still arches into his when he lines up with her and sinks his hips forward.
She anticipated it, but she still gasps and digs her nails into his biceps at the sensation of him pushing into her. Neither of them bothers to worry about the obvious lack of a condom—it was discussed the first time around when he offered and she told him it was okay. He's often the one to silence the alarm on her phone warning her in its title to, "Take your birth control or else, bitch," while she searches her bag for it anyway, so he trusts her.
Both of them prefer it this way enough to risk the minuscule failure rate of the pill anyway. It's more intimate, closer, and they can both feel the warmth of each other in a way that would've been somewhat muted with an added layer between them. It makes the feeling of him entering her all the more gratifying as she tenses up around him in reaction, drawing a groan from where his parted lips brush against hers.
She lifts her head off of the floor as much as she can to capture his mouth with her own and stifle the sonorous sound despite the storm doing a better job of it.
It seems that every blast of wind and roll of thunder is in their favor tonight, so much so that he isn't even worried about getting walked in on. It's not a thought in his head at this point, the only thought he's capable of having is this. Forgive him for being shortsighted, but he doesn't give a shit if John B notices or hears what's happening when he's buried inside of her so deeply.
His hips are flush with the backs of her thighs in a matter of seconds, and right when he pauses to give her a breather, he feels her shake her head ever so slightly against where their faces are pressed together.
The touch of her hands on his hips is not timid by any means, it's commanding. Her palm prints singe an indelible claim into the surface of his skin as she guides him to start moving without a second spared to dwindle the discomfort of him filling her up. It's less like a pain and more of a pressure blooming from the insistent presence of him, not so overwhelming that it's painful, but it's an effort to breathe evenly and the only thing that'll ease this transitional moment is to continue.
At first, their bodies start to rock together lazily as though on autopilot. They'd hardly be conscious of the fact that they're doing anything if not for the initial sensations of heady ecstasy that flash like the sparks of a lighter in response to their movements. As soon as he felt her hands coax him into action, he sighed happily and surrendered himself to the instinct of wanting to move.
The merging of their bodies is less of the aggressive rutting motions they'll surely succumb to once their current pace is no longer satisfying, but that doesn't make it any less intense. She's partly sure that this is one of the most vulnerable moments either of them has ever had when it comes to sex, and it wouldn't work if it weren't them together. No other person could consume her the way he does, taking up every unoccupied space of her soul until there's nothing left but the silent begging of her heart for him.
Their kiss is messy when it breaks to allow them the chance to suck down a couple breaths of air, saliva shining on his lips in between the seconds it takes them to come crashing back together.
It's loving enough to rot her teeth with its sweetness, a slow but impossibly deep grinding of their hips together that continually presses the tip of him into that sweet spot inside of her, but it takes a turn.
Not only do her hands shift from his hips up to the sides of his waist to get a firmer hold on him, the kiss starts to become vigorous, almost hungry, in search of something more. The dreamlike sequence of the first moment or so they spent slowly fucking under the warm hues of candlelight starts to unravel to reveal the baser instincts that guide them forward.
"Fuck, you feel so good," he whispers the praise into her mouth.
As soon as the words are said, he can feel the effect it has on her. The hands braced on his waist pull his body closer to her at the same moment that she involuntarily squeezes down around him, making the smooth drag of his cock against the velvet-soft heat of her walls even tighter than he thought possible.
The sudden feeling of it makes his first returning thrust much harder than the last. He jerks forward into her with none of the restraint he's retained for the past few moments, and her reaction is nothing short of perfection, at least from his perspective. He watches her throw her head back in a moan, hips bucking to him in pursuit of more, and feels the tips of her fingernails digging crescent-shaped marks into the unmarred skin along his waist.
"JJ!" she gasps in surprise, and if her initial reaction weren't enough to spur him on in a frenzied state of desire, this is.
He almost forgot how intense it had been the first time. Their confessions of love preceding this made them both somewhat softer and sweeter in their approach when they started, but he knows how she likes it.
Nobody would expect it from her. He's another story entirely, especially considering how much John B and Pope know about him, but her? He didn't have any in depth conversations about it with either of them, so none of their friends know how dirty she is.
But when you start to tease it out of her, she's got a side to her that makes his blood run hot. Considering how polite she is, he sure as hell didn't see it coming. For fuck's sake, she's the kind of person who'll apologize to a chair if she bumps into it. With that in mind he never thought she'd be the type to demand such things of him.
Just like that, with one moan of his name, it's like she flipped a switch in him that they forgot was there in the first place. It'll never stop surprising him how little it takes to get him going when he's with her, and he doesn't see that changing no matter how long they spend together in the future. Just a touch from her is all it takes, so it's needless to say that the sound of her calling out his name was more than enough.
Those slow, deep movements he made to sink into her again and again have turned rapid and rough, but still controlled enough to have a semblance of precision to them, hitting in all the right places.
"I bet," JJ speaks lowly, "that you want John B to walk out and see us right now."
She doesn't want to admit how much of an instantaneous effect those words have on her, but the feeling of her clenching around him as she bites back a moan completely betrays her. Partly, she worries that he'll take that the wrong way and think it has something to do with John B when it has nothing to do with him at all, but he doesn't. For the spare second of thought she's allowed to have before her mind goes hazy again, she notes how much more eager he is on the upstroke of the next thrust.
Noticing how right he was in his assumption about her liking the risk of getting caught jumpstarts his heart and makes everything he does rougher. She can sense that he's starting to lose control over himself and is acting on instinct alone.
It makes her much more sensitive to everything he does, and all she can do is cling to him and enjoy it as she takes in everything he says and does. It's hard to pick one thing to focus on between the switch up in pace and what he said.
"You want John B to know you like getting fucked like a slut, don't you?"
She could get off on the sound of his voice alone. Hearing him say stuff like that kills her, it makes the swirling bliss that builds in the pit of her abdomen with every thrust he gives her triple in its extremity.
Her legs are tightly wound around his hips to keep him as near to her as possible, her hands sliding up around his waist to keep a steady grasp on him while he pounds into her. The rug scratches at her back enough to make it sting alongside the immense pleasure building in her, but she doesn't care. When blended with the good sensations, the pain underscores the addictive feeling of him inside of her, fucking her exactly how she asked him too.
Looking up at him when he's like this is simply unreal. There's no other way of describing it in her eyes except for that. He's so stunning, she's inclined to believe that he isn't even real as a means of explaining it. This shouldn't be real. It should be one of her daydreams while she steals covert stares at him as they hang out with the Pogues, but it isn't. She can't wrap her head around it.
Those strands of hair that were damp from the rain are mostly dry as they fall into his eyes with the force of his movements. The sight of him alone, set aside from the rest of it, is enough to make her writhe beneath him and claw at his back in tandem with another thrust that sends her jolting against the rug.
He takes one of his hands up from where they both held her hips for leverage to weave his fingers into the roots of her hair.
He demands between the panting breaths and moans that flood the limited space between them, tugging on her hair, "Answer me."
She instantly blurts out the words, "I want him to see us." The feeling of him tilting her head back by the fistful of hair he has wrapped up in his hand is her persistent reminder to concentrate enough to continue, and she bites down on her lip to contain a moan before speaking again, "I want him to know..."
Her cheeks burn with the mere thought of it, let alone saying it out loud. He's the only person she'd ever let in on this intimate side of her, the side that makes her crazy when she hears him say stuff like this. The reason she feels so comfortable doing this with him is that she knows he understands her. It's as if he can read her mind without even having to try, knowing exactly what to say and when to say it.
It wouldn't matter if the topic of their exhibitionism were any other Pogue or a stranger, it isn't about who it is, it's about the thrill attached to the concept of almost getting seen during such a heated moment. In all actuality, John B is probably snoring face down into his pillow right now with no care for what's happening out here, but he knows what it does to her when they push the boundaries of decency this way. It's the same rush he gets from stealing random, useless things every so often, it's the thrill of getting away with something.
The hand tangled up in the roots of her hair sneaks down between their colliding bodies to rub her clit, and her mouth drops open to take in a shaky breath.
The sight of her beneath him is undoing in and of itself. Head tilted enough to expose her neck to him, chest rising and falling rapidly with her breaths, and breasts bouncing gently with the momentum of their actions—seeing her this way makes his thrusts ramp up into more of a frenzied, uncontainable pace rather than one with the same control and cadence as before. But it's mostly the eye contact that kills him. She doesn't dare to shut her eyes the entire time, as if she can sense that he'll tell her to look at him again the second she does.
"You want him to know what?" he asks, and she knows he won't let her get away with not saying it.
She whines, utterly helpless to the climax starting to build inside of her, "Please."
What she's pleading for, she isn't quite sure, but he can tell by how she's acting that she's starting to get closer, and he wants nothing more than to tease her with the impending chance of her orgasm.
"If you wanna come, you're gonna have to do a lot better than that."
Just like that, he withdraws his hand from between them and leaves her desperate, blindly grasping for the peak she was so close to reaching, she could almost feel it already.
With JJ rocking into her at a relaxed, slower rhythm, the pleasure hasn't disappeared completely. It's there, but she can sense the feeling of her orgasm receding as quickly as it had creeped up on her as soon as he slips his hand out from between them.
It's instantly clear to him how desperate she is as all of her previous shyness surrounding having to admit this to him out loud withers away in seconds. She isn't beneath begging again at this point. He could tell her to crawl across the floor to him and she'd happily do it for the chance of touching him. It's pathetic but true. As much as she has him wrapped around her finger, he has done the same to her and she isn't afraid to admit it anymore.
Her hips jerk toward him in search of the familiar frenzy they were in before that sent her to the brink of climax, but he is impressively stubborn. Despite the fact that it physically pains him to dial it back again, he tries to keep the signs of his own frustration at bay. She knew what she had to say to get what she wants, so he'll only cave when she does.
This time around, she doesn't give a fuck about how badly she blushes or the voice in the back of her mind telling her she should keep this side of her to herself. This time, the one thing she needs to do to prompt her to open her mouth and speak the dirty words he asked her less than a moment ago is look at him. One second of staring up at him and here she is, driven mad enough to say or do anything to get him to pick up where they left off.
She says between the soft noises and breaths coming from them both, clinging to him through every slow but deep thrust that sends sparks ricocheting through her body, "I want John B to know I like getting fucked like slut." Her voice is breathless, and he hangs off of each word as she pauses, looking up at him with a challenging attitude swirling in those pretty eyes. "So stop being a tease and fuck me like one."
His jaw clenches at the bratty statement, one he's too far gone to resist at this point, and right when he's about to respond to her, she speaks again.
"Either that," she says, and a deceptively sweet smile crosses her kiss-swollen lips, "or I can go ask him to—"
She doesn't even get the chance to voice the rest of that thought before he's set into motion.
The hands on her hips flip her over with such casual strength, all she can do is yelp in surprise at the sudden movement that blurs the living room in her peripheral version until she lands with her hands and knees pressing into the rug. He was so swift in pulling out of her and tossing her onto her front like she was nothing more than a rag doll, she hardly had the time to take a breath before she ended up here.
There's hardly any time between when he pulled out to flip her over and when he returns to her again, but it feels like an eternity for them. The few second transition might as well be a few years as she feels his hands guiding her body where he wants it, pushing down on her back until it arches just so, and falls down onto her arms. But as soon as she gets situated, she feels a pair of hands yanking her arms away from where they were braced against the floor and put them behind her back.
It's only then, when he has an unflinching grasp on where he keeps her wrists behind her back with one of his hands, that she is met with the relief of him sinking into her again.
Y/N's jaw goes slack, and she cries out into the rug that her cheek is pressed into as he gives her no chance to adjust or catch her breath before resuming the brutal pace they kept a moment ago. Mentioning anyone else but him doing this to her was the quickest way to get him to snap, so it's safe to say that she's getting what she wanted. After all, she did what he asked, it's fair that she gets rewarded for it.
Amidst the sounds of the storm waging war on the landscape outside of the house, the one thing she can hear over the buzzing pleasure that drowns out her senses is the sinful blend of sounds they create together. It's the sound of their bodies merging, his name falling from her lips, and the curses he makes under his breath that never fail to drive her a little wild.
The hand that isn't holding her arms behind her slides down the length of her curved back until it wraps around her throat to pin her down, and her reaction is everything he could ask for. Seeing her rock back against him to meet him halfway makes his grip on her wrists tighten enough to turn his knuckles white.
Her hair is spread in endless directions in a fan around her head, and he can only see one side of her face from where he kneels behind her, but that glimpse is more than enough. Brows scrunched in pleasure, mouth dropped open in a gape as soft 'uh's and 'ah's escape her on the upstroke of each thrust—she's a mess right now. A beautiful, perfect mess.
"Oh God, JJ," she moans between her rapid breaths and the strong hand constricting her neck, "I'm so close. Please, just let me come."
It took virtually nothing for her to be pushed right back to the edge of the peak she was at less than a minute ago. It took a mere half-minute of this and she's once again reduced to incoherent pleas for more and shaking with no control over herself. Her legs tremble with the effort to keep herself up in this position, and she isn't even the one doing most of the work. In all fairness, this change in position has made the intensity triple. It's deeper this way, and with how harshly he slams into her, it's as though she can feel it in the base of her abdomen.
It's the enjoyable type of pain, however, not the bad type. It'll surely end up with her being sore tomorrow, but she can't hide how much she loves the painful pleasure of how rough it's getting. Being denied an orgasm when she was so, so close to it was initially disappointing too, but it was worth it. If the build up to what would've been her climax before was a spark, this is a flourishing fire spreading through her with no chance of smothering the flames.
He lets go of her throat and taps the side of her jaw in a silent request that she picks up immediately, letting her lips fall open to suck his fingers into her mouth without a second of hesitation.
The taste of her arousal on them is faint, but still there, and it occurs to her that she thought about this earlier before things evolved into chaos. Her tongue swirls around the tips of his fingers as he starts to pull them away in what feels like the blink of an eye to her, leaving him to remember what it felt like when her lips were once wrapped around a more sensitive part of him a week and a half ago.
The one other time he let himself remember it was when they were on the boat with the Pogues, yet that wasn't really of his own volition. It was hot out, so Kiara bought ice pops for them and his mind wandered far from where it should've stayed.
Shining with her saliva, his fingers are pulled from her lips with a soft 'pop' in pursuit of that sensitive collection of nerves at the apex of her thighs. She just needs is a little push to go over the edge, and when he slips his hand down her body to rub tight circles onto her clit, she loses whatever remnants of control over herself she had left.
The steady rhythm of her hips moving back against him falters as she is overwhelmed with the separate sensations culminating into one and giving her the push she needs to come. Her entire body tenses up in anticipation, and since she's pinned to the floor with her hands behind her back, she can only lay there and savor the feeling as it hits her.
After what felt like ages of having it build and build within her, then having it taken away to start the process over again, finally being given a release is a relief beyond any she's felt before.
It's so consuming, it takes away her ability to think of anything outside of how it feels to dissolve into the shockwaves of euphoria rushing through her. Every pulsing wave is prolonged by him, not even through the peak of it does he let up on his precise touches and unforgiving thrusts into her that turn a typical orgasm into the most intense thing she's ever felt.
She's melting in his arms through it all, and as if the change in position didn't make it worse, her involuntary spasms leave him hanging on by a thread.
JJ collapses onto her, barely having the chance to keep himself propped up on his arms as he lets go of her wrists and falls forward onto her sweat-slick back.
The heat of his panting exhales raises goosebumps in its wake where his face is buried into the curve of her neck, and he whines at the impossibly tight feeling of her squeezing around his cock through the end of her climax. Those sounds he doesn't realize he's making have her writhing through the aftershocks, answering with a sound of her own that almost makes him come instantly.
For that reason, he makes the decision to pull out and flip her onto her back.
At this point, she's so dazed and fucked out that she doesn't register any of it until she notices the hollow absence of him inside of her, but it doesn't matter when his face appears through the partial darkness above her.
Despite how sensitive she is right now, the sight of him makes her hands reach out blindly to pull him closer again. They're frantic in their need to get back to one another, grasping and clawing until he finds his way back to her in less than a second, hiking her legs up around his waist with a touch that is somehow demanding and tender at the same time.
It's only when he's inside of her again that it occurs to her why he rolled her onto her back again, and it makes her want to kiss him until her lips turn numb. It may be undeniably hotter to pin someone down and fuck them hoarse, but, no, that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be able to look at her, to see her face, and the thought of that has her biting back a sudden confession of love. She isn't sure why she doesn't say it right away, since it isn't like they haven't already done it, but she keeps it to herself for a second first.
It's different now. It's not less passionate or frenetic. It isn't as if he isn't being as rough with her as he was before, but they can both sense a shift in the energy between them as soon as he reenters her. It's less about the pursuit of pleasure and more about the feelings they've kept hidden away for so long. It's a simultaneous realization that hits them a little late after they initially confessed their feelings for each other: this is reality. It's real, and when she touches him this time, he isn't going to disappear if she opens her eyes.
The realization of what happened tonight had yet to hit them until right this second, but now that it has, they move forward with a sense of sentimentality that remained partly dormant before.
If there's anything JJ dislikes, it's being vulnerable. The idea of letting someone in to see every part of him, including the parts he doesn't want to see of himself, has always terrified him after years of being made to believe he's undeserving, yet he isn't uncomfortable right now. Somehow, he feels safe with her. Sex has never been something so emotional for him until now, until her, and he doesn't want it differently.
Their bodies are drawn in close, her arms thrown around his neck, and he's so close, he can feel the muscles leading down past his lower abdomen contract with the inevitable approach of his orgasm. She can sense it too in how he acts.
When he gets close, he becomes clingier and lets his feelings get the better of him. His hands squeeze at her hips, sliding up her sides and back down to hike one of her legs up high around his waist to press deeper into her. He can't bear to allow his touch to stay in one place for too long before exploring another part of her, wanting to memorize the delicate intricacies of her body in its entirety.
It's as if she can read his mind too, cause even when she's sensitive enough to gasp when he pushes her thigh to her chest and throws his remaining energy into fucking her at a satisfying pace, she understands what he needs. She knows to reach up and run her fingers through his hair, to tug on it gently until the light strands are taut from his scalp. She knows to lift her head off of the floor enough to trail tender kisses along his face, his jaw, his neck—anywhere she can access.
"Come for me," she says into a kiss placed on the edge of his cheekbone, reeling in overstimulation as she jolts with his quickening thrusts, "I want to watch you..."
Hearing those words, paired with the kisses and fingers pulling on his hair, does it for him. It doesn't take more for his hips to falter and jerk forward into her a final few times before he comes.
Their foreheads press together as they cling to one another for stability, though it's mostly JJ clinging to her while she watches in adoration, and she has to bite her lip to contain a moan at how it feels. The aftershocks of her orgasm have yet to fade as the feeling of pulsing warmth inside of her makes them stronger, reigniting the fire she felt a moment ago if only for a second.
There's a closeness to this situation that they hadn't felt the last time, and they know it has everything to do with what was said before this happened. The sex itself feels like a dream sequence in her mind now that she's coming down from it with him, moving together slowly and gently beneath the candlelight until they ride out the ends of their highs. It was like they were put under a trance by each other, and now that it's over, the first thoughts that come to mind are of what comes next.
It's not the sole topic on their minds though. They're more focused on catching their breath from where they lay, tangled up together, on the living room floor. As soon as the very last of his orgasm faded from him, he fell onto her without a single ounce of energy left to spare. He's careful not to crush her, but, for the most part, he relaxes on top of her and lets his head rest on her heaving chest.
Strong arms slip down to loop around her waist, and she sure that she couldn't get him to release her if she wanted to, which she doesn't.
But they can't stay like this, not for any longer than a few moments anyway, since they don't know how if John B might wake up and come out of the safety of his bedroom after hours of leaving them to their own devices. JJ was right. He's out cold, but for as much as it turned them on in the heat of the moment, neither of them finds getting caught by him as hot with the clarity of their rational minds coming back to them.
He's the one to break the silence.
"As much as I wanna stay like this, we should probably move in case John B wakes up."
The sound of his voice settles in her with the effects of a sedative. It calms her more than anything else could, especially with the added comfort of him cuddling her so closely. One of her hands strokes through his hair and pushes the damp tendrils of sunshine away from his face as he cranes his neck to look up at her. And, for fuck's sake, what else is she to do except admire him?
His cheeks are dusted pink in a way they often are when he spends too much time outside without one of his hats shielding his face, and she thinks he's never looked better.
Ever since they became friends, she's had this theory about him. In the unrealistic landscape of her overactive imagination, JJ didn't come to this world the way the rest of them did. To her, it seems impossible that someone so good, even in his worst moments, could've come from someone like his dad.
So, in idle moments where she would watch him on a day out with the Pogues or daydream about him, she decided that he's the sun.
She imagines he was created in those breathtaking but brief moments where the sun meets the horizon atop the ocean and washes the sky with a vast array of colors. She likes to think he's the incarnation of it. Golden, warm, and bright for everyone but himself, he keeps the world light for her and their friends without intending to.
Some days are warmer than others too. Some days, the light is dimmed by another bruise beneath his clothes or a bad run-in with some kooks, but today is not like that. This moment is eighty-five and sunny with a balmy breeze. Looking at him right now feels like basking in the sun, and she'd burn here forever if he let her.
Without realizing she zoned out, she jolts when he pinches her arm to rouse her from her ridiculous thoughts. He has this dopey half-smile on his face that nearly draws her back into them again.
"You know what they say," he says, "if you take a picture..."
Her soft laughter invades the room, filling his heart with this light, fluttery feeling that always finds him when she's near. His smile grows as she playfully shoves him and reaches above their heads for her wet shirt to cover up with just in case. Odds are, their friend isn't waking up at the exact moment before they seclude themselves to the spare room and get dressed, but she doesn't wanna take that chance.
"I wasn't staring."
She was totally staring. But who could blame her? When someone looks at a person the way he looks at her, how could they ever stay away?
"Whatever you say."
JJ keeps smiling to himself while he pulls his underwear and shorts up his legs and waits for her to be decent enough to sneak past John B's bedroom to the bathroom at the end of the hallway.
The clothes are soaked through with rainwater, so they feel quite uncomfortable to slip back on, but they merely redress enough to be covered. She stole his shirt to avoid putting her shorts back on, the hem of the grey tee hanging right at the tops of her thighs when she walks. As soon as she slips her panties back on and picks up the rest of their cold, wet clothes, that's the cue he needs to scoop her up and take her away.
Y/N curses under her breath in surprise at feeling her feet being plucked off the ground, but she relaxes again once she's settled in his arms, realizing that it was just him who snuck up behind her and lifted her into his arms.
She doesn't say anything on the way to the bathroom. Instead, she lays her head on his shoulder in exhaustion and finds herself staring at the mark she left behind on his neck.
It's a deep, purplish red against the backdrop of his tan skin...the Pogues will surely notice the next time they see him. And while it will make her blush, it won't make her scared as it once would've. There may be a lingering sense of doubt and insecurity within her, but she wants this with him. Even if it means being teased by their friends or dealing with the jealousy of watching kook girls and tourons at parties hit on him, she wants this.
By the time the shower is spraying the rainwater from her hair and washing her clean of sweat sticking to her skin, she realizes that he isn't saying anything either, but she doesn't think it's out of any awkwardness or miscommunication. There's truly nothing to say, at least for now.
Though they didn't have the chance to talk in depth about everything yet, neither of them thinks of that right now. All they know is that they're together, whether it be officially or not, and it feels good. For once, something in his life feels right, and he lets himself enjoy it in silence.
The shower is a cramped space when shared between them and the wet clothes they have draped over the back edge of the tub, but they make it work. It's not like they mind anyway.
They bump into one another whenever they do so much as breathe, and the white walls echo the sounds of her giggling when he tries to tickle her. She leans her head back against his chest and lets out a laugh with shampoo dripping down the front of her face, and he'll be damned if he ever heard a sound as intoxicating as that.
It's a little weird. He's never been as soft and loving with a person before, and he has already felt overwhelmed in the lulls of quiet between them when he's given the chance to think about it.
When she washes his hair for him, insisting that she must return the favor after he so kindly washed hers, he was struck with the same mixture of wanting to simultaneously lean into and pull away from her that he felt the night of the party.
The warmth of the water loosens his sore muscles, washing suds of the green apple scented shampoo over his shoulders and down, down, down until it circles the drain beside his feet. All the while, her fingertips are delicately tracing over a healing bruise on his torso. Those pretty lips of hers are painted in a suppressed frown that she can't hide from him.
"Are you okay?" Y/N asks.
His instant reaction is to fake a smile, to brush it off and distract her as he usually does, yet he doesn't. He forces himself to remain neutral and not push her away.
"Happens all the time," he murmurs, shrugging and averting his eyes to reach for the soap off on the ledge.
The hands holding either side of his waist tighten as he tries to turn, pulling him back to her with more strength than he knew to anticipate from her. Their chests gently collide back together beneath the stream of water, and she can feel his breathing catch for a second or so in response.
The fact that their relationship has changed doesn't change how she handles this aspect of his life. Their new confessions don't have an impact on the part of his life he never wants to let anyone see, so she isn't going to force him to talk about it because they're trying out this whole relationship thing now. He has hard boundaries that she knows not to push sometimes. That's the way it is, and it might change as they grow closer but she knows to accept it for the moment.
As soon as he hears what she has to say next, he could crumble in relief at the realization that their new dynamic doesn't change anything.
"I didn't necessarily mean...that...I meant generally, you know? It's just that—" she sighs, "you shrink away a little when I hold you, and I wondered if I was making you uncomfortable."
Before she could finish the sentence, JJ was already thinking of what to say to prove her wrong, because that's not it. That's not what it is, and if she thinks she's done anything wrong, he'll do anything to convince her otherwise because it isn't her. It's him.
It's his dad lingering in the darker trenches of his mind, commanding his fear and attention so that even when he isn't physically present, he's still here. Part of why he denied wanting her was because he knew these types of things would arise in the beginning, that there would be difficult adjustments to make and conversations to be had, and he didn't want her to leave him as soon as she was faced with one of these things.
He shakes his head.
"You didn't do anything."
The feeing of her chest rising and falling with his begins to steady him after a moment of allowing the initial hesitation to dissolve. His internal reaction to her touch is the mental incarnation of a flinch. It's him waiting for the other shoe to drop and expecting her to do something, to hurt him, before his mind catches up with his heart. But once he realizes everything's okay, he loves it.
"It's kinda embarrassing, but I guess when you touch me, I'm expecting something else," he says softly, scared that if he speaks too loudly, everyone in the world will know how weak he feels.
She should've figured, but hearing him say it is different than wondering what the reasoning behind it is. Hearing him admit it after months of strict avoidance on the topic is a sucker punch to the gut.
Both times they had sex, he was too distracted and thoughtless to get caught up in that part of himself, but it's when the bliss of the afterglow disappears that it creeps back in. That's why he could always handle touch when it came in that context. It was his way of obtaining what he wanted without having to face this side of it—a temporary fix to a greater web of issues.
But there's nothing temporary about her. He doesn't want her to leave him, not without him resisting the urge to beg her on his knees to stay and at least remain his friend, so there's no choice but to face these momentary challenges head on.
She pauses for a second, thinking, then says, "You don't have to be embarrassed about it, I get it. We'll just have to take it day by day then. We can take it slow, and you'll let me know if it gets to be too much, okay?"
It's hard not to be shocked by how well she's taking it. A lot of people probably wouldn't feel too great after someone they love tells them they expect to be hit whenever they touch them, yet she's taking it in stride.
Things are back to normal as soon as she sees the grin on his face.
"So, you're saying you're gonna be trying not to throw yourself at me all the time?" JJ asks, then clicks his tongue as though in thought. "I give you a week. Tops."
Her eyes go wide as she looks at him. She holds her hand over her heart as she pretends to be scandalized by such an accusation, but they know it's true. They both can't keep their hands off of one another, which is why it confuses him. How can he want to reject and enjoy her touch at the same time? Sure, the discomfort disappears after the first split-second, but the fact that it happens in the first place annoys him to no end.
She rolls her eyes and tries to hide the fact that she's giggling as she reaches for the soap.
"You're a little shit, you know that?"
He doesn't miss a beat, saying back, "Yeah but I'm your little shit, so I feel like that says more about you than it does me."
While he's too busy rinsing the rest of the shampoo out of his hair, she smiles to herself at what he said.
Hers.
Nobody has ever been hers before, or proclaimed themselves as belonging to her as proudly and casually as he just did, and her heart melts over the sweet sentiment he didn't think twice about.
Less than a day ago, she was agonizing over her relationship with him and trying to ignore how powerful those feelings for him were, and now they're here. She no longer has to steal glances when he looks away or hide how jealous she feels when other girls flirt with him. To finally let the tension disappear is an immense weight off of her shoulders.
The rest of the shower is as quiet as the start of it was, and that comfortable silence continues through from when they're drying off and redressing to when they hit the mattress in the spare bedroom with tired sighs.
After the day they had, the mere suggestion of sleep is enough to make them start yawning, so being able to slip beneath the sheets and rest their heads almost sings her to sleep instantly.
Their bodies are laying in the exact outlines of where they laid the night of the party, the only difference this time being their mindsets. This time around, they aren't holding themselves back from anything, and it's most evident in the little things. Like how she doesn't turn around to shield her face from him, instead laying with her head propped on the other end of his favorite pillow.
They're so close, their noses brush if they make any slight movements, and this would be enough for him to submit to the urge to drift into sleep if not for the fact that he feels her jolt when thunder rumbles loudly outside of the window.
Much like his own fears being pushed to the side amidst their desire for each other, her anxiety about the storm wasn't on her mind until they laid down to sleep.
She was so wrapped up in him and everything that happened between them that she didn't have the time to think again until now, until she hears the violent patter of rain against the roof and feels her stomach drop at the sound of the thunder. Suddenly, she's not the one reassuring him about his fearful reactions, it's the other way around.
His warm hand takes hers, snatching it up as though he's worried it'll disappear if he doesn't take it quickly enough, and she lets him. Her eyes flutter shut with the release of a slow, deep breath, and she lets the presence of his hand in hers bring her back to earth.
JJ asks into the darkness, "Can I take you out on a real date?" After a beat of silence, the comforting sound of his voice returns to her. "Not that this isn't fun, but I think you deserve a little more effort than John B's living room floor."
A short-lived chuckle escapes her—a win as far as he's concerned. It's difficult to lure her head from the clouds when she gets this way, and it isn't like he has much experience with calming her during these moments either, but that sounded good to him. It sounded like she wasn't thinking about the increased pace of her heart or the howling wind outside.
He was planning on asking anyway. However fitting of a first night together this was, he wants to take her out for real sometime soon. He doesn't have much money for it, like at all, but they can come up with something special together, even if it's similar to the same shit they usually do together. As long as it's time alone together, they don't necessarily care if it's a perfectly traditional first date.
The tip of his thumb rubs comforting circles onto the back of her hand in the brief time it takes her to respond, stroking the soft skin as if to tell her that everything's okay. It seems to say, I'm right here. Nothing can hurt you. And it might make her crazy, but she believes him. JJ could take her back out into the eye of the hurricane at this very moment and she'd still believe his unspoken promise of not letting her into harm's way.
"Of course," she says, then pauses, and the sound of her sleepy voice hardly reaches his ears when she speaks again, "...I'm sorry I avoided you for the past few days. I was scared to tell you how I felt but I shouldn't have left that morning."
The memory of waking up in his arms is fresh in the forefront of her mind, so much so that she can remember the way his breath felt where it exhaled in warm puffs onto her skin.
In the first few moments of consciousness, it was peaceful.
She laid awake for a minute or two to count his breaths and soak in the comfort of being cuddled up next to him, wishing she could stay there for hours. It wasn't until another moment passed that it clicked with her where she was and what was going on between them recently, and that was what prompted her to slip away from the bed to get ready for her day at work.
It was the second time in a row that she left him in that bed with nothing to wake up to but the cold absence of her body between the sheets he slept under, and he can't deny that it's part of why he holds onto her hand so tightly tonight. Even though she's promised him otherwise, he can't help but think she'll be gone by the time he wakes up. At this point, he's struggling to stay conscious. She can see those pretty eyes drooping more and more by the second, yet the hand holding hers doesn't loosen its grip.
He takes a deep breath and scoots closer to her, keeping his one hand in hers while the other arm drapes itself over her waist, and he can feel her relax into the touch.
"It's okay," he says.
It's easier for him to adjust to so much physical contact when he's the one initiating. He knows that's why she only reached out to hold his hand. If she had it her way, she would've already been cuddling with him as soon as they laid down, but he likes that she gives him the space to initiate it. In the ways it counts the most, she cares about him more than anyone else has.
The touch in itself is his way of accepting her apology. However, truth be told, he already forgave her for it before knowing his love was reciprocated could be a possibility.
Right when she's about to fall asleep, the screen door slamming open and shut with the wind on the back porch makes her whip her head around to look over her shoulder in the direction of the sound. It seems like every time he successfully distracts her from it, the storm finds new ways of reminding her of what's happening outside of the safety of the Chateau.
There's the sound of a barely audible, sharp inhale, then her whispering into the dark room as she looks at the closed door, "I can't believe I went out into that. What the fuck was I thinking?"
It's beginning to close in on her again; the sounds of the storm, the sense of being trapped no matter how safe they truly are, and the rising tidal wave of anxiety that picks up speed the more she tries to will it to stop. This is the part where she tries to relieve it in some way, usually by smoking weed to sleep or going to one of her parents so they can help her through it, but she can't help herself right now.
Debris was being picked and tossed around in the wind like it weighed nothing when she was out there, she could've been knocked into the marsh or struck by a piece of debris.
How could she be so stupid?
Not only could she have hurt herself, she could've hurt JJ knowing that he'd likely follow her out into the storm to bring her back inside, and the thought of him being hurt makes the tension in her chest heavier. Her breathing picks up speed, the anxiety starting to snowball out of control when—
"Hey, look at me," JJ says, reaching up to turn her head to face him, and she damn near crumbles in relief at feeling his hand cup her cheek. It doesn't make it all disappear, but it provides a momentary comfort that she doesn't take for granted. "You're safe here. You know damn well I'll do anything to protect you. I mean, shit, dude, if I have to go out there and tell that rain to fuck off, I will."
This draws out a laugh from her, chest stuttering with the happy sound through the tears glistening in her eyes, and he never wants to stop hearing it. His thumb swipes away the first teardrop that falls before it can slip over the apples of her cheeks.
I'm
Her quiet cries and shaky breaths continue for a while after the laughter disappears. For a second or two, he watches with his thumb still wiping her tears away and hopes that it'll be enough to comfort her, but it can't do it completely.
He pulls away from her to get up from the bed with an idea popping into his mind, but upon hearing her whine at the loss of contact with him, he pauses to say, "I'll be back quick, don't worry."
The remaining humorous side of her left wonders if he's actually gonna go tell the rain to fuck off, but he's just opening the bedroom door to trot out into the living room.
A candle burning on the coffee table illuminates the space for him, guiding him straight to the forgotten backpack she left slumped against the arm of the couch hours before their relationship was changed for the better. It takes him an instant to get there and back with the bag in hand, and he's digging through it for a second before climbing back into bed with her.
If anyone else rifled through her bag, sifted through her personal belongings, and dug her phone out of it, she'd probably be annoyed, but she never is with him. She's inherently protective of her things, but JJ can do whatever he wants and it has always been that way. It should've been the first warning of what was to come.
He pulls the sheet back over his body and scoots up close to her, trying to resist the urge to retreat at first when he maneuvers her to lay with her head on his shoulder. It should trigger the flight or fight response that often alarms in his head, but he's able to push it away.
She's so vulnerable right now, so gentle and in need of the warmth of another person that he isn't as intimidated. It's not that she couldn't hurt him if she wanted to right now, she could, but he knows her. He knows that the last thing she'd ever want to do is hurt him, so he has to remind himself of that and give himself the permission to enjoy the physical intimacy of her touch. The part of him that questions if he even deserves it can't reach him now, not when he's so focused on her.
"Thumb?" he asks with the phone held out expectantly.
The screen is less than two inches from her face, so she has to push it back slightly, but she flattens her thumb to the button without further hesitation.
When he unwraps the pair of headphones from around the palm of his hand and plugs them into the charging port, she realizes why he left in the first place.
When she was facing away from him, eyes shut and headphones in to distract herself with music earlier, he was stealing glances at her every so often. He tried to keep away from her for the most part. It was difficult though, especially knowing what she said about being jealous the night of the party and knowing how scared she was of the hurricane. He couldn't help but keep an eye on her, for both his own selfish needs and his worry for her.
He keeps an arm tucked around her, pressing her body into his while he pops one of the headphones into her ear and the other into his. The thing is, her eyes aren't trained on the screen like his are once he starts looking through her vast collection of not-so-legally acquired music for a song that suits both of their tastes, they're trained on him.
Their taste in music tends to diverge in certain ways and overlap in others, so there's always a fifty/fifty shot of him liking what she plays when she's the one picking the music. That is why he smiles to himself and halts the endless scrolling in its tracks to hover his thumb over one song.
He obviously heard it before she played it that one time, but it's different for him now. They were riding together in the backseat of the Twinkie on the way to the beach with John B, Kie, and Pope when they let her take her turn to play a song.
That's how it is with them, the driver goes first, then it goes to the front seat passenger, and so on and so on until they make their way back to the beginning of the rotation. It was her turn when she picked this song, and it could've been the song, or the sunset shining through the window, but he felt as though his heart exploded when he looked at her in the middle of it.
He remembers feeling confused, confused as to why he couldn't catch his breath and why he suddenly adored the song he only heard casually a couple of times.
It was her. It was everything about her. The soft hum of her voice murmuring the lyrics, too shy to actually sing them in the presence of anyone else, was too delicate for the others to appreciate over the sounds of the van. He heard it though. He clung to it and admired her, so unashamed in his staring that he didn't realize he was doing it. It wasn't until she noticed that he stopped.
"Do I still have ice cream on my face or something?"
Her fingers came up to wipe at the corner over her mouth, and the action sent him turning his attention away quicker than he knew he could move, pulling the lighter out of his pocket to fiddle with as he mumbled, "Yeah, but you got it off now."
The cheery melody of Just Like Heaven bursts out of each headphone into their ears.
How did he know? How is he constantly reading her mind without realizing it?
This was her first song on the couch that she couldn't stand to sit through without thinking, naturally, of him when confronted with the topic of love. Somehow, it's like he knew that, and instead of feeling exposed and scared he'll know her feelings like before, she feels loved.
She is never skipping this song again.
"Go to sleep," he murmurs, clicking the screen off and resting it on his stomach.
It takes him a short thirty seconds to fall into an easy, calm pattern of breathing that tells her he isn't asleep, but soon will be. But she's fighting her sleepiness to continue looking at him. His eyes are fluttered shut, hair messy on the pillow, and she'd want to reach up to kiss him if he weren't trying to fall asleep.
Instead, she settles for matching her quickened breaths to the slow rise and fall of his chest beneath her hand and shuts her eyes along with him.
By the time the song reaches its end, she thinks he's asleep, but she still whispers, "Thank you," and feels his arm squeeze around her body in response.
The next songs fade into white noise at this point for her, drowning out the storm to the point where she begins to forget it's happening out there.
Maybe they can be each other's safe place when things get rough. After all, he handled this wonderfully considering his lack of experience with her anxiety and she never pushes him on his plethora of unsorted issues, even when she wants so badly to be the one to initiate the touch.
She never makes him think she pities him, or wants to "fix" him like so many partners with savior complexes who will never try to understand how it feels often do in these situations. With each other, maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated anymore, even when they have those inevitable arguments here or there.
The last thing he does before allowing himself to be dragged under is brush his lips on her forehead in a tender kiss. And when he eventually wakes to the rising sun shining through the windows in the aftermath of the violent hurricane, she's still there.
Tag List: @jjjmaybank, @its-simply-fanfiction, @naughtydild0swaggins.
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